#since I've been in a massive writer's block these last months

[wwillywonka]

.

[coralie-adams]

Life throws us all curve balls, hitting us either unexpectedly or expectedly, usually the first. The past 5 months myself and my family have been hit with so many curve balls I was beginning to lose hope (and still kind of am) that this year would be better than last year was. I still enjoy reading and writing and I'm so glad I could find that love again since I enjoyed it as a kid. With family emergencies that seem to have no happy ending, to my own physical and mental health declining, I've been experiencing way more stressful days than good days. The stress makes my physical health worse, which ends up messing with my mental health in a major way. I am like so many Americans who are on Antidepressants and Anxiety medications.

When it comes to my creativity though, I've discovered that my brain doesn't have an off switch. I'm in the middle of writing two books, which I've published chapters of on both Wattpad and Kindle Vella. I keep getting new ideas for new stories and I always have this new motivation to start on these new ideas, which puts my current projects on the backburner. Writer's block has been a massive problem for me and I know that's only because I am my own worst critic but I end up feeling like a failure when it takes me weeks or months to put out new chapters.

As an indie author with a passion for reading and writing still being newly ignited, my first real blog post should be about my struggles. I know that so many people can relate to it.

I'm trying to use this to get me writing more. At least 10 minutes a day, because at this point my mental health is preventing me from putting my all into my work.

If you've read this far and haven't followed this blog, please do so. I'll be reblogging many things related to the novels I'm writing. Still, I will also be posting text posts like this one, on various topics, mainly about my books, writing style, reading lists, recommendations, etc.

thank you, ❀ c.a

[thecouchsofa]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks to @sweet-s0rr0w for the mention! Side note: Nor All That Glisters is beyond brilliant, I can't believe I only found it last month!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14 - somehow this feels like heaps and nothing at the same time!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

476,709! Half of those are from one fic though

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only HP at the moment. I'm very much a 'one fandom at a time' person!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Lesson of You (65k, E) - kidfic, family feels, featuring my favourite tag of all time: accidental child acquisition. I saw that tag on a Sterek fic and it was like a lightning bolt of inspiration - I wrote this fic based on that tag alone!

Walk the Line (16k, E) - Draco sees Harry in the Mirror of Erised but doesn't know what it is and asks Harry about it.

Tales of Apparation Gone Awry (12k, E) - humor, Draco in denial, sometimes accidental drunk Apparition.

Potter's Snake Removal Services (3k, E) - humor, misconstrued texts, tent sex, Goyle being traumatised by said tent sex.

Slytherin Eighth Years are Shit at Potions (or are they?) (4k, T) - Draco's friends slip him a love potion and think they've poisoned him when he acts the same towards Harry.

Side note: my top 3 by kudos are 3/5 of the fics I put in an ask response about my favourite fics of mine - apparently my opinion is the same as the general consensus!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do now, but I didn't used to (social anxiety is a bitch). I make an effort to respond now because I read all of them and they genuinely do make a massive difference. I don't respond to comments on things I posted before this year - there's so many now on certain fics that were posted so long ago that it would feel beyond awkward for me to respond to them now. I wouldn't want to start responding to new comments on those fics without then doing the same for the earlier comments either. So 2023 onwards at this point!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nothing that's been posted, mine all tend to be very fluffy. I don't really fuck with unhappy endings, life is angsty enough as it is! I like nice cliche endings tied up with brightly coloured bows. That said, a short fic that's going up sometime this month does have an ambiguous ending, so that'll be my answer then.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my stuff tends to be pretty fluffy at the end. The ending of The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls is pretty bloody saccharine though!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in my comments section, thankfully. I did see one of my fics get rec'd on tik tok at one point and the teens in the comments section were warning others away from looking at my account because of a certain PWP that's on there, which did make me laugh quite a bit!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Definitely! I find smut the easiest thing to write. If I feel writer's block coming on I sit down and write a smut scene or crank out a PWP! I've got quite a few completed ones that have been sitting in my docs since 2018!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, crossovers definitely aren't my thing!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I don't even know why you would tbh.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've been lucky enough to have multiple fics be translated!

The Lesson of You has been translated into Russian and Korean, Potter's Snake Removal Services and Silent Night have also both been translated into Russian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but it would be an interesting thing to try!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry for sure! I have major brain rot for this ship.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The very first fic I ever started writing for this fandom! It was a soulmate AU about seeing colours that I wrote around 8k for and then moved on to something else. I read through all of my half-finished fics when I started writing for this fandom again this year and was like 'hey, I quite like this' and then - shock horror - it got pushed to the wayside again. Maybe it'll get done eventually, who knows!

16. What are your writing strengths?

God, I don't even know. Sometimes it's humor, sometimes it's descriptions. Depends on the day, I reckon!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, probably. For Brightest Constellations I tried to combat this by literally drawing up a table and writing for each location exactly what stage of their relationship Draco and Harry would be at. I did manage to stick to it with only a few changes, but it was properly hard!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't do it because I'm embarrassed I'd get it wrong! I don't mind reading it though!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction (lmao). Fourteen year old me wrote a Harry/Louis fic in the notes app on my iPad that will never, upon pain of death, see the light of day!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls. I wrote this because I wanted to read something like it and I didn't think there were nearly enough road trip fics in this fandom. I also wanted to do a character study on Harry, since many fics focus on Draco's trauma. I absolutely adore this fic and I'm thinking about getting it bound so I can see it on my bookshelf. I'm so heckin proud of it!

I don't know who hasn't been tagged at this point so if you're reading this and want to do it, consider this me tagging you! Feel free to tag me in your post, I'd love to read it!

[dlea203]

5 years - Hannix AU

A/N: Hey there :)

I know I've been MIA for over a month regarding this story... I'm terribly sorry and the only (lame) explanation there is, is: real life :( Uni has started back up and I'm still figuring that out, plus I've had a massive writer's block... not very funny, but I'm certain that I don't have to tell you that ;)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and everyone out there who's taken the time to read chapter one and has left a like or a comment. Keep those comments coming and don't hesitate to reblog and tell me if you have requests regarding this story or if you want me to write something else for our lovely Hannix couple.

Here's chapter two!

Taglist: @sweetwhispersofchaos

Warnings: fluff (lots of that :)) and angst

Previous chapter / Next chapter

Chapter Two

“How… but… I don’t understand. We were told you crashed”, Rooster stammered, running a hand through his hair.

Natasha still didn’t dare to move. All her prayers had just come true, but she couldn’t quite believe it. She feared that her mind might be playing tricks on her and that he wasn’t really there.

“I did crash”, Jake answered half-heartedly.

He didn’t really want to offer any explanations right now. It was a long story, a very long story, that required quite some liquid courage to bear telling it.

“But… How is it possible that you’re alive? They told us that there’s no chance...”

“It’s a long story, Bradshaw.”

He wanted to turn to Natasha and ask her whether she’d mind if he gave her a hug, because he craved to touch her, but he was cut off by another familiar voice.

“Delilah, Ally, stop! Careful, there’s shards everywhere!”

Shannon.

Two identical little girls came into view behind Rooster. Both girls had brown hair and wore matching outfits. They giggled, one tugged on Rooster’s sleeve and the other on Natasha’s dress but they turned silent the minute they laid eyes on Jake. The one next to Natasha cocked her head to the side and eyed him closely. The other one was shyer, seeking cover behind Rooster’s legs.

“I swear to God, one day you’re gonna give me a heart attack fr-… Oh!”

Shannon stumbled backwards and grabbed a hold of the wall next to her. Her face showed the very definition of shock.

“Jake?! What on earth are you doing here?!”

“I’m coming home. Well, I’m trying to, but somehow I’m not getting much further than the front porch”, he weakly tried to joke.

But Shannon’s face broke into a smile. It really was him; she recognized his humor immediately. She carefully squeezed past Rooster and Natasha and reached out.

“Can I give you a hug?”

Jake smiled happily and wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s good to see you, Shannon”, he whispered into her hair.

“So, God has received my prayers after all”, she murmured and softly stroked his back before pulling away.

“I assume, those two troublemakers are the twins”, he commented and pointed at the little girls.

“Yeah. The one hiding behind Bradley is Ally and this little rascal is Delilah”, Shannon answered and picked Delilah up.

Jake grinned at her and gently stroked her cheek with his index finger.

“Last time I saw them was on an ultrasound picture.”

Shannon nodded and bumped Delilah’s nose with her own.

“They’ve grown quite a bit since then. Causing trouble wherever they go and making their parents go insane. But we wouldn’t want to have it any other way.”

Jake nodded and switched his gaze over to the rest in the hallway. None of them had moved, they were simply observing the situation. And since Natasha still seemed a bit overwhelmed by everything, he decided to finally introduce himself to the blonde woman next to her.

“I think we haven’t met before. I’m Jake”, he began and offered his hand.

“Sandy Rollins”, she replied and shook his hand.

Jake was glad that she didn’t push for who exactly he was. He’d need a lot more than a few beers to explain everything and he really didn’t feel like doing that now. 

“Are you a San Diego native, Sandy?”, he asked instead, as casually as possible.

“No”, she laughed and shook her head, “I was born in Nashville, but we moved a lot while I grew up. My dad worked for a company with many international locations. So basically, the world is my home. Makes doing my job a lot easier.”

“And what’s your job, if I’m allowed to ask?”

“I’m a flight attendant.”

“Yeah, I figured. Gotta somehow be involved with flying if you’re friends with this group of people.”

He motioned to Rooster and Natasha, smiling kindly.

“That’s true. Met my husband Bob that way.”

Jake did a double take on that.

“You’re Bob’s wife? Bob as in Robert Floyd?”

Sandy nodded.

“How long have you been married?”

“Three years as of a week ago. Happiest three years of my life”, Sandy beamed and showed him her golden wedding band.

“Wow, congratulations, I guess… I mean, technically I’m three years late but…”

“Oh, thank you and don’t worry about it. It’s not like we made a big deal out of it. Anyway, you should come in and say hello to the others. The guys just about fired up the grill. Come on.”

Sandy gently pulled him through the door and closed it behind him. That seemed to snap Natasha out of her trance, because she suddenly spun on her heel and headed for the laundry room down the hall. Jake all but wanted to follow her, but he wasn’t sure whether she’d want that, so he let Sandy drag him into the living room instead.

“Holy shit!” (Payback)

“Good Lord?!” (Jessica)

“What the hell?!” (Fanboy)

“Hangman?! Is that you?!” (Bob)

Payback, Fanboy, Jessica and Bob looked like they’d seen a ghost. They stood frozen in place and stared at him, speechless.

“Hi guys. Missed you too”, Jake laughed.

“This is a joke, right?”

Jake’s smile widened as he saw who’d just entered the living room through the patio door.

“Tell me that this isn’t real. That I’m making this up. That that’s not my best friend standing there in the living room”, Coyote rambled as he slowly stepped closer.

“Missed you, wingman”, Jake said and fought back the tears burning in his eyes.

“Where the hell have you been?!”, Coyote exclaimed and pushed at Jake’s chest before wrapping his arms tightly around him.

The rest of the dagger squad and their significant others watched with tears in their eyes and dopey smiles on their faces how the two best friends hugged each other tight.

“It’s been five years man”, Coyote stated as he pulled away.

“I know.”

“Five years of believing that you died over there. What the hell happened?”

“It’s a…”, Jake cut himself off when he saw Liz entering the house through the patio door.

Her expression changed from confusion and shock to a wide smile within record time before she turned back to the door and shouted into the garden: “Lynn, there’s someone here for you!”

Jake’s heart did a somersault. But he didn’t have time to panic. Footsteps and laughter sounded from the patio stairs, nearing quickly. When Liz stepped aside a blond little girl came into view, dashing into the living room. She came to a stop beside Liz and looked at her expectantly.

“Who is it?”

Liz pointed in Jake’s direction, still smiling from ear to ear. The little girl turned her head and looked straight at Jake. Green eyes on green eyes, for the first time since five years.

Jake’s jaw dropped, tears collecting in his eyes once again. His heart sped up and threatened to jump out of his chest. His fingers ached to reach out to touch her, just like they had when he’d wanted to touch her mother minutes before. She’d grown since he’d last seen her, grown into the most beautiful little girl he’d ever laid eyes on. 

His little girl. 

50% of the reason he’d fought for his life every day for the past five years. The other 50% had just disappeared down the hallway.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. Did his little girl know who he was? What had Natasha told her about him? Did she even tell her about him? His heart sank at the possibility, that he was a stranger to his own daughter. But he would never blame Natasha for not telling Lynn about him. He knew that all she ever wanted was to protect their daughter, hell, he himself wanted nothing else. It would break his heart, but he’d never blame Natasha for keeping Lynn safe from any pain. Even if that meant he’d have to take small steps with his baby girl. When he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and never let go again…

“Daddy?”, she asked, confusion written across her face.

His heart skipped a beat. She did know. All his worries were lifted off his shoulders and were replaced by pure happiness and relief.

“Hi princess”, he breathed out, falling to his knees, a tear slipping down his left cheek.

A wide smile replaced the confused expression on her face, but she looked at Liz once more, insecurely twisting the hem of her dress.

“Don’t you wanna give your daddy a hug?”, Liz asked softly, running a hand over her head.

At that, Lynn took off, running into his waiting arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face there too. Jake caught her and stood up, swinging her around, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

God, had he missed his little princess.

The others felt their hearts swell at the scene in front of them. Payback wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulders, shaking his head at what he saw. Shannon leaned into him, gently squeezing Delilah’s shoulder, who stood in front of her, holding her twin sister’s hand. Coyote walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Liz leaned back into his chest, smiling fondly. Bob had his left arm wrapped around Sandy’s waist and shared a happy smile with her. Fanboy and Jessica stood behind the kitchen island, watching with wide smiles on their faces. Jessica even wiped away a few tears. Rooster leaned against the bookshelf behind Jake, squeezing Emma against his side, kissing her temple.

The rest of the kids had all gathered at the patio door, observing the scene. Hailey, Jaylen, and Sam smiled; they were the only ones of the kids who had an idea of what was going on. Hailey held three-year-old Sophie Carolin Bradshaw on her hip, smiling at the confusion on her face. Sophie had no idea what was happening since she didn’t even know who Jake was. Same goes for two-year-old Cara Alicia Garcia, who was standing in between Marco and Enrique, holding hands with each of her brothers. Nick was a tiny bit confused about his best friend hugging a stranger, because they were repeatedly told by their parents to not engage with strangers unless mom and dad are doing so too. But he figured that it was okay since his parents stood right next to Lynn and the stranger. Nick glanced around the room. His uncles and aunts were all smiling and grinning, pure happiness radiating off them. When his gaze landed on his auntie Nat though, he frowned. She looked upset but no one seemed to notice. But Nick chose to keep quiet. He was sure that someone would explain eventually…

Natasha stood in the hallway between the front door and the living room, trying in vain to wipe away her tears as she watched her two favorite humans being reunited. After five very long years, her heart was whole again, beating rapidly beneath her ribcage.

When Lynn noticed her, she smiled brightly at her mother.

“Mommy, look who is here!”, she exclaimed.

A sob escaped Natasha’s mouth as she smiled back at her daughter and nodded.

Jake gently placed Lynn on his left hip and held out his right hand, smiling happily at his wife. Lynn reached out with her left arm.

“Come give daddy a hug, mommy”, she pleaded.

Natasha didn’t hesitate another moment. She crossed the living room and took Jake’s hand, letting him pull her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around her husband and daughter, holding on as if for dear life. Jake pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo, reveling in the fact that he had his girls back in his arms.

Natasha buried her face in his chest, listening to his heartbeat, shamelessly letting the tears fall. She was soaking his shirt, but neither one of them could care less. Nothing mattered today, not even her pride or principles. He was breathing and his heart was beating. He was alive and home. That’s all that mattered.

“Why are you crying mommy?”, Lynn asked, worried.

Natasha raised her head and wiped away some of the tears, but fresh ones followed immediately.

“Why are you sad?”

“I’m not sad, baby. These are happy tears”, Natasha assured her and gently caressed her daughter’s cheek.

But Lynn frowned, not fully convinced yet.

“I’m so happy, baby, I swear. I’m so happy that daddy is home.”

Natasha looked up at Jake, beaming. Jake’s heart skipped another beat. Slowly, he leaned forward and finally captured her lips in a kiss. And that was the moment when their whole world shifted back into place. As if someone had collected all the pieces of a broken vase and put them back together correctly.Finally, everything was the way it always was supposed to be.

-*-*-

Thanksgiving, 4 years ago…

Her phone rang, but Natasha tried to ignore it. It was just past nine o’clock in the morning and she lay in her bed, gently rubbing her left hand across Lynn’s stomach. Lynn lay beside her, sleeping peacefully, clutching her fluffy white sheep tightly in her hands.

Lynn hadn’t been able to find sleep for quite some time last night. Natasha had tried every trick she knew, but nothing had worked. Eventually, she’d put her down in her bed, holding her tight to her chest. Around midnight they’d both finally fallen asleep.

The ringing of her phone didn’t stop and when Lynn started to stir, Natasha grabbed it and accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Nat, sweetheart?”, Emma asked on the other end.

“Why for God’s sake are you calling me at nine o’clock on Thanksgiving?”, Natasha snapped and regretted it immediately.

She wasn’t mad at Emma, and it was unfair to treat her like this, but today wasn’t a good day. Today marked one year. One year without him…

But Emma didn’t act on Natasha’s harsh tone, just sighing softly. She knew better than anyone else what her friend had gone through this past year, spending countless nights on the phone with her. Listening to Natasha crying, because she refused to cry when they were physically hanging out. Always putting up a brave face, arguing that Lynn needed her on the top of her game.

“I’m calling, because I know that you’re not up yet and I want to make sure you leave the bed.”

“I can’t”, Natasha whispered, her eyes welling up with tears.

“Honey, I know today is a tough day, but you gotta get up. You can’t stay in bed all day. Jake wouldn’t want that.”

“He has no say anymore!”

Emma sighed.

“Do I have to get up there and drag you out of bed?”

Natasha frowned.

“What?”

“I’m on your front porch. Bradley is running to the store with Nick to buy breakfast. Can you come down and let me in? I’ll help you with Lynn.”

Natasha stared at her engagement ring and her wedding band, considering her next move carefully. She definitely wasn’t dressed for company and not really up for facing her friend anyway, but she knew Emma. She’d use the spare key if Natasha didn’t do what she asked her to.

“Give me two minutes.”

Emma turned around at the sound of the front door opening. Natasha looked awfully tired, dark circles under her eyes and a messy bun were treacherous signs of her horrible condition these days. She wore one of Jake’s old t-shirts and grey sweatpants.

“Hi”, she weakly offered and stepped aside.

Emma pressed her lips together and walked past her into the house. Natasha softly closed the door and followed Emma into the kitchen. Natasha sat on one of the barstools, slumped over the counter, burying her face in her hands.          Emma just got the coffee brewing when she heard a quiet sob from the kitchen island. She spun around and walked up to her friend, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek, and pulling her into her arms. Natasha kept her face hidden in her hands, but she leaned into Emma’s embrace.

“I’m sorry”, Natasha choked out, her words muffled by her hands.

“Oh Nat… You’re so strong all the time, sweetheart. It’s okay to let go from time to time. Especially today. Don’t ever apologize for struggling with the hell you have to go through.”

Natasha hiccupped and winced.

“But it’s been one year…”

“Dear”, Emma sighed, gently grabbed Natasha’s wrists, and made her look up.

“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. Losing your better half is never easy and it will never be easy. Whether it’s been a year, three years, or ten years, it always hurts. The pain will always be there, it just fades. You learn to live with it.”

“What if I don’t?”

“You will. You know why?”

Natasha shook her head.

“Because you’ve got us. Shannon, Jessica, Liz, and me for starters. Bradley and the guys, Mav and Penny… You’ve got half a football team!”

Natasha snorted and Emma chuckled.

“We’re all here for you, whether you like it or not. And we’re going to help you get through this. You’re not alone. And remember, we have lost him too.”

Natasha nodded and watched Emma pour coffee into two mugs. She put one in front of Natasha and sat down next to her. It was quiet for a few minutes, both of them lost in their thoughts. Emma was the first to break the silence.

“Sometimes, when Nick finally sleeps, Bradley and I talk about him. About, what he’s done for us and what he meant to us…”

Natasha took a sip from her mug and listened attentively.

“Bradley always laughs at how much their relationship has changed. From hating each other to accepting each other to genuine friendship. And all of that over the course of a year… Bradley sometimes can’t believe it, but he’s glad that they got it together. I think all of us are.”

They chuckled.

“He misses him, more than he likes to admit. He tries to hide it, but I know where he goes when he heads out alone. I don’t mistrust my husband, but I followed him once. He spent an hour at Jake’s grave, talking to him, telling him about our life, about you and Lynn. He’d even bought some fresh flowers… He does that every once in a while. I think, it’s like therapy for him. Jake’s death hit him harder than he expected, so I’m glad he’s found a way to cope with it. Then, at least one of us does…”

Emma swallowed hard and looked at Natasha, tears glistening in her eyes.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t say that. I shouldn’t struggle as much as I do, Jake’s not my husband after all.”

Natasha laid her hand on Emma’s arm.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to hold back because of me. Like you said, I’m not the only one who’s lost him.”

They spent a few more minutes in silence, emptying their mugs. Emma rinsed them while Natasha walked up to her room, gently waking Lynn up.

“Baby, it’s time to wake up”, she said softly while gently ruffling Lynn’s hair.

Lynn stirred and looked at her mother with sleepy eyes.

“Come on, Aunt Emma is here for breakfast. Uncle Bradley and Nick are coming too. Let’s get dressed, okay?”

Lynn nodded and let her mother dress her without fussing. When Lynn was ready, Natasha carried her down into the living room, where Emma was absentmindedly flipping through the pages of a magazine. At the sound of footsteps on the stairs, she looked up and her face lit up, when she saw Lynn.

“Hey Lynn, how are you, sweetie?”

Lynn smiled at Emma, reaching for her. Emma took her from Natasha, bouncing her up and down on her hip.

“I’ve got her, go get dressed.”

Natasha nodded and returned to her room. She picked out a comfortable sweater and her favorite pair of jeans. After a quick glance into the mirror, she opened her drawer and took out her jewelry box. Natasha didn’t own much jewelry, but she was very proud of every piece in that box. Carefully, she took out the white gold earrings her parents had given her when she’d graduated from high school and put them on. Then, her gaze fell on a silver bracelet, partly hidden beneath a set of rings and necklaces. She sucked in a breath and took it out, holding it in front of her. A small Eiffel tower dangled from the chain, alongside a heart with a tiny violet precious stone and a feather. Jake had given it to her for their first Christmas as husband and wife, alongside two plane tickets to Paris. They’d had a week off, thanks to a friend of Jake, who worked in administration. It has been one of her most beautiful holidays to this day.

After hesitating for a few moments, she put it around her right wrist, brushing the Eiffel tower with her index finger. Then, she stowed the box away in her drawer and returned downstairs, joining Emma, Lynn, Bradley and Nick at the table. 

They fell into an easy conversation, making plans for an afternoon walk and a coffee date at their favorite coffee shop in town. Midway through breakfast, Penny had called Bradley, inviting all of them to dinner at her and Maverick’s. Natasha wanted to decline but Penny insisted she come.

And when she sat at Penny’s table in the evening and saw the happy faces around her, her lips curved up into a small smile. She thought she could never enjoy thanksgiving again, but her friends let her forget for the moment that he was no longer among them. And for that she was infinitely grateful.

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

Fic wrap-up

It’s been a shitty year for everyone, myself included. 2020′s really done a number on me, and my mental health is currently at the lowest it’s been in years. BUT I’m working on it, and I figure part of that is being proud of what I did do, the things I did make, despite it all. 

So this year, I somehow wrote (and posted) 10 fics, with a total of 21,507 words. The longest fic I wrote was 6K, the shortest just 827 words. I know in the grand scheme of things that isn’t much, but considering, you know, everything, I’m still happy with that. 

And I think y’all were happy with it too. Several of these fics got 1000+ hits! Considering for me usually anything over 200 hits is a success, that’s amazing.

I did learn this year that I am terrible at tagging, and at knowing what my stories are actually about. I think I probably write more hurt/comfort and found family trope than I realize. Also the usual domestic suspects like cooking/eating and sleeping together, I write those way more than I realize. If someone sees other recurring themes in these, let me know? I’d be really curious to hear what other people think these stories are really about.  

Thank you all so much for reading, and leaving kudos and comments! I still get an email almost every single day that someone left kudos, and it makes me a little bit happier every day. 

So just to share them once more, here they all are, sorted by fandom: 

Dan & Phil: 

mating calls  5 times Dan loved Phil’s subtle attempts at flirting through animal facts, and one time he didn’t. 1354 words, teen and up audiences  Tags: 5+1 fic, getting together, 2009 fic, fluff, mentions of family members, animal facts, gay animals, bad flirting through animal facts, making animal sounds, gratuitous abuse of artistic freedom when it comes to available technology, by which I mean I have no idea when phones got email just bear with me okay

House Hunters   Kath and Nigel go down to London to help Phil and Dan find a house to buy 827 words,  gen Tags: moving, POV Outsider, headaches & migraines, bugs & insects Just You, And Him  You first realize your feelings may have changed when you look at him pouring coffee, eyes bleary and curly hair flopping around chaotically as if he’s had a restless night again. Or, the one in which there is a lot of pining. 921 words, gen  Tags: POV Second Person, pining, yearning, food, getting together, oh my god they were roommates

and they were roombas  Dan knows that, as a manmade inanimate object, he should not be capable of talking or of feeling anything, let alone love. Not that it matters, because there’s no way Phil feels the same about him anyway. Dan is content to live his life cleaning floors and occasionally bumping into Phil, without ever doing anything about his feelings. That is, until one fateful day they get stuck under a table together…It’s a race for survival and love as time starts running out. Will they live happily ever after or will their love fade as quickly as their batteries? 2027 words, gen  Tags: crack, roombas, swearing, there’s a cat, I don’t....I don’t know what else to put here, the word war chat made me do it, I don’t know what this is either

Star Trek: Picard:

on this fresh morning in the broken world  Guinan has heard a lot of rumours about Picard’s latest adventures and the crew of La Sirena. She never quite believed them, knowing fully well how rumours tend to be exaggerated. Then Picard shows up to ask her to join the ship for a while, and Guinan realizes she’s never done learning after all. 3033 words, gen  Tags: guinan meets the sirena crew, canon divergent, holosquad, introspective, trauma, spoilers for picard, no I mean it there are spoilers here, do NOT read if you’re not up to speed on picard

HIStory 3: Trapped: 

Jack Tries To Become A Normal Member Of Society  After everything’s settled down and Jack has taken his time to relax and enjoy this newfound life with Zhao Zi, he decides it’s time to find a normal job. After all these years as a mercenary and working with the mafia and Interpol, how hard can it be, right? 3271 words, gen  Tags: shenanigans, comedy, some (threats of) violence, sex mentions, swearing, blood, menial labour, annoying customers, unrealistic scenarios, found family trope, quite possibly the single most self indulgent fic I’ve ever written

how two hands touch  Okay, maybe Tang Yi does sleep better when Shaofei is there. He’ll never actually admit that though.(a 5+1 fic) 2414 words, teen and up audiences  Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, food, banter about food, cooking, some angst and sadness but I promise everything will be ok, shaofei does go into the hospital again sorry about that, I figured he’s used to it, set from mid-canon to post-canon, not beta read My Engineer: 

Duen Holmes and the Case of the Missing Cupcake  While at the volunteer camp, Cupcake goes missing. Duen decides this is the perfect opportunity to try out some sleuthing.Or, the one in which Duen plays Sherlock Holmes, and finds out some very interesting things indeed. 6495 words, teen and up audiences  Tags: cupcake the lizard, camp trip, fluff, crack, so just like a regular episode really, canon compliant up to episode 12, spoilers up to episode 12

Unrooted  King has some thoughts on Ram's tattoos. 988 words, gen Tags: tattoos, introspective Unspoken  Ram has some thoughts on King and his plants. 1531 words, gen  Tags: introspection, plants

[rynnaaurelius]

So There's Solangelo Discourse On My Dash Again. . .

And I apparently have time to fight today, so let's talk about Solangelo and the critiques of the ship (And the critiques of that).

Disclaimer/Warnings: Extensive discussion of ableism, mentions of homophobia, discussion of forced outings.

This is a long post. I've done my best to turn my thoughts on Solangelo, the Riordanverse fandom in relation to it, and criticism of Solangelo into a coherent stream of thought, for both my reference and others', if they want.

I do my best to give credit where credit is due, and if you think I owe credit/should link to someone else, message me/leave me an ask.

NOTE: I am not saying it's immoral to ship Solangelo. I'm a Ship-And-Let-Ship person.

I am saying that this ship's canon/fanon portrayals have a lot of valid criticism surrounding it, and am breaking it down in this post. If someone hates a ship, let them hate it in peace.

I am not a Solangelo Anti. I don't like bashing. Everyone can and should leave each other alone if they've got nothing nice to say. Block who you need to for a nice time on this fair hellsite.

While I'm not about to beat up on a ship/characters themselves—because they're hardly writing themselves—I'm about to take their characterization and Rick Riordan to the cleaners.

If that's not what you want to see, blacklist the tags 'anti solangelo', 'rr crit', 'riordan critical', and get on with your day, please.

Fandom isn't activism, but it can be hella racist, sexist, ableist, and queerphobic. We need to fight that.

Now, on with the show—

I. Context

I'm queer, NB, and have been well-acquainted with Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus since I was a small child. I write a lot of PJO fanfiction.

(Yes, I'm writing this instead of an update. Don't look at me like that)

Solangelo is the canon ship of Will Solace/Nico di Angelo from the Riordanverse. As of today (08/09/2021) in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians - All Media Types fandom tag on Archive of Our Own, despite the time gap between Solangelo becoming canon—let alone Will and Nico officially sharing their first scene together—versus other ships being canonized/getting shipping material (Annabeth/Percy, Rachel/Percy, Nico/Percy, Jason/Piper, Jason/Leo, etc), it's the second most popular ship:

(Note the drop-off after Nico di Angelo/Will Solace in fic numbers. That's important)

Frankly, with Trials of Apollo complete, smart money's on Will/Nico overtaking Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson within the next twelve months.

So. Popular ship in a massive, active fandom (That's about to get a massive Disney TV show adaptation).

II. Meet The Shippers

(Disclaimer: A lot of this section is based on anecdotal data/accounts of other people in fandom. No scientific surveys have been done, and thus feel free to take this section with a grain of salt)

Maybe I should be more accurate: A massive, active, young fandom that's only known a very specific age of fannish activity. Obviously, there are outliers, but PJO/HoO/TOA is written specifically as children's lit, and unlike, say, Harry Potter, not only hasn't massively changed tone to grow up with its audience, has been written within the last decade or so, for the most part.

As such, the Riordanverse fandom skews almost unusually young, when you compared it to fandoms of similar magnitude of size (Think BBC Sherlock, Supernatural, ATLA, etc).

They've been lucky enough to only know an arguable golden age of fandom: AO3 has been and up running for over a decade now, the Anne Rices of the world are largely a thing of the past. With access to Twitter, Tumblr, and other socials, it's easier than ever to contact the writers/creators of your favorite media.

For better, but for a lot of the time, also for worse, as I think anyone who's spent any measurable amount of time on this hellsite has seen.

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, look up 'The Johnlock Conspiracy', November 5th/Supernatural—Anything Supernatural, really—or the racist backlash to The Last Jedi/resultant Rise of Skywalker, just to name a few.

Or don't. Really, don't. You're better off not knowing.)

Anyway. This also means Riordanverse shippers are also unusually young. "Awareness of what the world was like before gay marriage was legalized in the USA in 2015" is a much rarer phenomenon than other fandoms.

We don't really have active Fandom Moms, or grizzled vets who remember the heady days of Livejournal, pre-Strikethrough/Boldthrough.

We do have a young, extremely online, and often (Especially in terms of gender/sexuality) diverse fandom; something that Riordan, if anything, has actively courted since at least the publishing of The Lost Hero, where he began to debut a much more racially diverse cast than his previous series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

For many fans, Nico di Angelo was their first queer (Or, to be honest, character at least read as queer) character, and Solangelo was their first queer ship in media—canon or otherwise.

And, not to be mean, but it fits a lot of familiar surface-level stereotypes to people who've seen ship fixations come and go #OnHere.

III. A Quick Aside on the Riordanverse Fandom and Shipping

This doesn't contribute much other than a possible explanation for certain trends, but as for additional context, as someone's who been in and out of the Riordanverse fandom since at least 2015—we, as a fandom, have long had a very weird relationship with non-canon shipping.

I'm old enough to remember when Percy Jackson/Rachel Elizabeth Dare shippers were the bane of everyone's existence, because it wasn't canon. Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson shippers, pre-House of Hades, got more of a pass, if only because they automatically were working from a non-canon framework and were therefore no "threat" to the Percy/Annabeth ship. But. . .still. Wasn't canon.

Then not only was Nico confirmed as gay, but he was saddled with a convenient boyfriend by Riordan by the end of Heroes of Olympus, with perfect traits to flanderize into a popular ship for a fandom full of preteens and teenagers.

Pretty much a perfect storm.

IV. Why Are People Shipping It?

Okay, so I'm obviously coming at this from a critical standpoint. I don't ship Solangelo, I'm here to break down why the canon portrayal of it sucks, etc.

In the interests of being fair, I trawled the Solangelo tag on Tumblr, read some of the most popular fic recs with it as the main ship, and looked into what made it tick for people, beyond my own pathetic attempts at psycho-analyzing part of a fandom.

Four most popular elements, by my judgment, regardless of how I personally feel about it: (Mind, I kept a rough tally chart on Excel for this bit)

A. It's a canon ship with two gay male protagonists, neither of whom die or are killed off for shock value (Thereby avoiding the Bury Your Gays Trope).

B. Nico di Angelo and Will Solace, as most popularly portrayed in canon and fanon, fall into the beloved "Angry Dark-haired Tortured Goth Who Is Soft For The Extroverted Smiling Sunshine Blond" trope.

C. The "Doctor and Death" imagery that surrounds the both of them in later canon portrayals/fanon, considering their parentage (Son of Apollo v. Son of Hades).

D. . . .they're a canon gay ship featuring one of the Riordanverse's most popular characters falling for a character with enough of a framework to be identifiable out of a lineup and enough left blank for easy projection.

I tried, y'all. I swear.

Anyway, there's Solangelo and the people who ship it. Onto the dreaded criticism.

V. Critiques of Solangelo: Ableism

(Major shout-out to the bloggers I link back to. Warnings in this section for extensive discussion of ableism, mentions of PTSD, and me seeing red for a bit)

Okay, we're going to back up real quick for this one to discuss Nico di Angelo in Heroes of Olympus. Here's a list of the things he canonically has to deal with in HoO/post-HoO:

-Post-Traumatic Distress Disorder (Though I think an argument can be made that Nico is specifically suffering from C-PTSD, and oh boy, do I have a rant in me about Nico di Angelo, the only canonically queer main character, being the one to canonically suffer from PTD and being considered mentally ill)

-Chronic pain and fatigue, post-Tartarus (This one is danced around a bit because Riordan's a coward/translated as magic problems with Nico struggling to use his powers without dying, but it's a safe claim to say this is canon and not just fanon)

Here's the profession of Nico di Angelo's canon boyfriend:

-A medic.

. . .look I'm not saying this ship is impossible in canon, I'm just saying that to pull it off without looking gross, it required significant legwork/characterization that Riordan—and fandom, 'cause don't think y'all are off the hook—simply refused to put in.

This article from the Read Riordan site is an excellent distillation of the problem. It and canon fetishize Will being a very unsettling mixture of doctor/romantic partner for Nico, of the "healing power of love and connection." (Quote taken directly from article to describe the two)

And in case this isn't already clear enough, I will be blunt:

Disabled people are not people for their partners to "heal" or "fix". To build an entire romantic dynamic explicitly on the idea of someone "healing" their partner of their disabilities is to build a dynamic that is disgusting and toxic.

This is all canon. As for fandom. . .

-Portraying Will Solace as a savior figure towards Nico di Angelo, infantilizing the latter—especially in regards to writing/imagining a scenario where Will does something "for Nico's own good", or writing Nico as incapable of looking after himself in any manner without Will—is so common it's depressing.

-Look, I have a lot of problems with characterization in HoO (That we'll get to), but for now: To victim-blame Nico or portray him as silly for "imagining" the isolation Camp Half-Blood imposed on him is gross.

I'm not going to link to any specific examples here because I'm not the people who wrote that and therefore can't explain their rationale behind it and the intent of this post is not to punish "bad writing".

I will say that portraying able-bodied, medical worker Will Solace as consistently "having to save/heal" disabled Nico di Angelo and portraying it as perfectly SoftTM and RomanticTM is ableist as hell and you should re-think that fic prompt before you hit "Post".

VI. Critiques of Solangelo: Characterization

This section is going to be shorter, since we're focusing on Solangelo and not, um, the rest of the characterization in Heroes of Olympus (I'm going to write that essay one day).

Basically, it boils down to the fact that in the eyes of the reader, Will Solace and Nico di Angelo are not equal characters. Nico was a major secondary character in the original series from The Titan's Curse onwards, and becomes a deuteragonist in his own right by the end of Blood of Olympus.

-We know Nico. We've been through a lot with him, regardless of opinions on the characterization course changes (I'm dying on this hill alone but I will die on it, damn it).

-Meanwhile, Will gets a glorified cameo in TLO when the Cabin Seven counselor bites it, gets maybe one or two namedrops from then on, and then shows up in Blood of Olympus to be Nico's fix-it love interest.

-This makes for easy projection, sure, but also. . .come on. You can't do better for Nico?

-See previous section. What little characterization Will Solace gets is that.

-Mind, I think part of this is due to Riordan's desperate urge to pair everyone off, no matter the cost (Who the fuck is Shel?). If I'd been as traumatically outed as Nico had been in House of Hades, finding myself a partner in the aftermath would've been the last thing on my mind.

-Nico is solidly shown to be Not Okay and in need of some serious empathy, support, and downtime by HoH and BoO. To immediately have his head turned by Will Solace instead, when he's fresh off trying to save the world and Octavian's death is just. . .no, man. Romance isn't the end-all be-all here.

-Obviously, one can argue that Trials of Apollo is a different ballgame, but I'd argue that whatever shipping there is should come second to Nico finding the platonic/familiar love and support he needs.

VI. Backlash to Criticism: Homophobia

Saying a ship isn't perfect and has some ableist overtones to it in canon and popular fandom portrayal is not homophobia. Next!

. . .but seriously, y'all, I promise you and Riordan will survive some mild criticism. This isn't a call for you to stop shipping, and it's a call for you to look critically at what you're writing and reading.

Trust me, the white gay ship will survive some angry people on Tumblr. You do not need to justify yourself to me or anyone else.

Also, other queer ships exist in the Riordanverse, if non-canon ones, because Riordan is a coward. I highly recommend going and shipping those, too.

VII. Backlash to Criticism: Characterization

I'm including this section to point out that a lot of claims that Nico and Will, just being themselves on equal ground, actually can have a fun dynamic.

This isn't completely incorrect, if rather subjective, of course. However, I would point out that this is still a pretty surface-level analysis, and absolutely no excuse for not looking deeper at your ship and its dynamics.

This isn't a "Sail the USS Healthy Ship only" post. I would point out that you should be aware of unhealthy/toxic/hateful elements of the ship in question, so that you can scrub, say, ableist elements from the ship you're writing in question.

VIII. Queer Representation in the Riordanverse

Quick rundown of confirmed, canonical queer characters in PJO/HoO/TOA. I haven't read much of Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, so I can't speak for characters like Alex Fierro:

-Nico di Angelo

-Will Solace

-Piper McLean

Worth noting that neither Will nor Piper have made mention or had conversations about bisexuality, and Nico, as the only queer main character in HoO, was forcibly outed, and. . .look.

There is no one "good" queer representation. We're infinite diversity in infinite combinations, with "good" rep for some of us is "bad" rep for others (Excepting a few things, such as clear examples of Bury Your Gays in media, erasure, transphobia, biphobia, transmiogyny, racism and sexism, etc).

But to have your only queer character have his sexuality treated like a dark, horrible secret, and then have him be traumatically outed by Cupid is just. . .not great.

Speaking as someone for whom forcible outing was, at one point, a real threat in my life: That entire sequence left me feeling shitty.

We can do better than "One out of a dozen primary and second characters is gay and fixed up with a tertiary character, and another may/may not be a lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual now, and is dating a character without a surname."

To say nothing of Riordan's treatment of the Hunters of Artemis, or the entire mess with Reyna, where, among other things, he did an excellent job conflating aromanticism and asexuality, or the fact that his treatment of relationships is still very heteronormative in a cast that's still majority straight and cis.

(And, hell, he can't even get those relationships right)

(And "Tragically straight Percy", my ass)

(But this essay isn't about my personal headcanons of Percy Jackson's sexuality. Among other things)

No, any rep is not better than no rep. I understand that Nico might mean a lot to some people, but that rep aged. Quickly.

Rep doesn't have to be perfect or can only be written by queer people, but there should be an honest attempt made to push the boundaries of what's "acceptable", and we should do better than to shower the bare minimum of "one sad white gay cis boy from 2013" with accolades.

You had the social capital, Riordan. Use it.

IX. Disabled Representation in the Riordanverse

I will be honest in this section: I can't speak for it very well, beyond general terms. I have ADHD, sometimes-debilitating anxiety, and PTSD. I can speak for the Riordanverse's rep in terms of that—spoiler alert: most of it sucked—but not in terms of, say, the treatment of Nico's chronic pain and fatigue beyond what I've already talked about.

I can say this: Romantic partners aren't going to be fix your problems, and to portray them as such in media is gross. Riordan should be less afraid to make his characters "unattractively" scarred, considering the world they live in—and how a lot of the cast, particularly Jason, Percy, and Luke, fall into the Good Scars, Evil Scars Trope.

To say nothing of the fact that physically disabled demigods don't really, uh, exist in the canon Riordanverse. Which I find very difficult to believe.

The disabled representation in the Riordanverse is fairly minimal at best (There are demigods with ADHD, but no autistic demigods; one demigod is confirmed to have PTSD, but none of the others; and so on), and outright ableist and offensive at worst (Solangelo as portrayed in canon).

X. Conclusions

Like I said at the beginning, this is not a call to stop shipping Solangelo, or an indictment of the Riordanverse fandom as a whole. This is an explanation of a lot of very valid criticism. I hope.

I'm of the firm belief that just about any ship can work, given enough time, creativity, and effort. I don't think Solangelo is an exception of that, though I can definitely understand where the people who do are coming from.

To make ships work, healthy or otherwise, we need to have a self-awareness of the dynamics and context for the situation. The canon material is flawed. Riordan is a severely flawed author (Sayeth the penniless college student who writes fanfiction, but I don't give a shit).

I love the material anyway. I try my best to analyze it and write stories from it that I'm happy with.

This post is not a call to harass Solangelo shippers or an excuse to yell at me for internalized queerphobia or what-have-you. It's me getting some things off my chest and hopefully giving other people catharsis/some feelings into words.

[novamirmirsblog]

Impressive

Word Count: 958

Genre: fluff/suggestive

Request: yes

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, suggestive sexy times.

HERE IS THE REQUEST

A/N: This is kinda a short one but I think it's getting me out of my writer's block SO THANK YOU <3

Tony had announced, rather abruptly, that there would be a get together to celebrate their latest victory. No, none of you had saved the world and no, none of you had taken down some nefarious organisation. What you were celebrating, was Bruce finally going to anger management classes. Ever since you heard him say that his secret with controlling the Hulk was that he was 'always angry', you were concerned. It's not that you didn't trust Bruce, it was just that it didn't seem like a very healthy way of living. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact you were now dating Natasha and didn't want to wake up to a massive, green, angry man. By the time you and Natasha had gotten ready, everyone else was already lounging on multiple sofas spaced around the open plan room. The drink was flowing as easily as the conversation and Thor had admitted to adding a little bit of Asgardian liquor to the alcohol to loosen everyone up just that little bit more. You had been wondering why everything had a hint of honey underlying whatever you were drinking. No one had any issues with it considering how much better it made the alcohol taste.

It was a few hours after you and Natasha had joined that the conversation found its way to a 'my dick is bigger than yours' competition. Not literally of course but the team were all going around and telling the group their greatest achievements. The bragging ranged from Tony being the youngest person to make so-and-so to Bucky being able to eat a whole baguette in one mouthful. Natasha said something about how she could kill a room of assassins in under 30 seconds or something else ridiculously hot and then it was your go.

"Go on then Y/n. What's the most impressive thing you've done?"

"Dude, how am I supposed to follow that?" You gestured to Natasha. Anything you were going to say would be nothing compared to the story Natasha just told.

"There's gotta be something you can do better than Natasha."

Your mind flashed back to the time you gave Natasha a massage that ended...interestingly. You heard Wanda choke on her alcohol and looked over at her, smirking and telling her "Get out of my head witchy."

"Then think quieter! I didn't need to see that."

"See what? What was it? Was it impressive?" Tony fired question after question, not allowing Wanda to answer the first before moving onto the next.

"I mean it was certainly impressive. I've never seen it done before..." Wanda rubbed her neck and started turning the same colour as her magic.

"Well that's because Vision's hands aren't as talented as mine." You laughed and wiggled your fingers.

"What was it?" Natasha asked you quietly, the rest of the team being distracted by Tony's interrogation of Wanda.

You just smirked at her before turning back to Tony "Are you sure you wanna know Tones? This is your last chance to back out..." You swished the last of your alcohol around your glass.

"Y/n if you don't tell us I'll dye all your suits bright fluorescent pink."

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." You finished up the last of your alcohol before taking one last glance at Natasha. She was just as curious as the others were. "Well, there was this one time Natasha came home from a particularly gruelling mission that she was on for a month. I, being the generous girlfriend I am, gave her a massage."

"No offence Y/n but I'm pretty sure Bucky's metal arm can give a better massage than you. He can probably heat it up, plus it would never get tired..." Tony started listing off the different qualities Bucky's arm might have.

"Shut up Stark, I need to kno- Wait, Natasha why is your face going red?" Steve said.

You looked over at Natasha and lo and behold, she was almost as red as her hair.

"Not another word Y/n"

"But the people need to know!" You let out with mock outrage and nudged her a little "Do you really want me to stop?" You mumbled to her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

She let out a sigh. "It is a pretty funny story..."

"Perfect!" You clapped your hands once before continuing "As I was saying, she was tense and stressed so I gave her a massage. Sure she was grunting but she had a lot of deep knots. I didn't realise anything was amiss until I got to her lower back and had to shift so I was sitting on her upper thighs."

You looked around the room, wondering if anyone knew where this was about to go. The only one who refused to make eye contact was Wanda. Even Natasha was casually sitting there, drinking her beer, wondering how far you were actually going to go.

"Well, I got there and realised it was a little...wet...but didn't think much of it and continued. It was only when I felt her buck her hips and moan that I realised she came just from me massaging her back." You laughed, watching as Natasha's face dropped when she realised you had told the entire story. "I guess she was just really horn-"

"Okay! No more thank you! Who's next" Natasha raised her voice, attempting to cut your story short.

"Hang on a minute, is that even biologically possible?" Sam asked.

"Apparently so Sammy. To be fair, she clearly hadn't had any release for the whole month so maybe that had something to do with it..."

"It didn't." Wanda groaned out. "PLEASE quieten down your thoughts!"

You laughed and turned to Natasha. "Natty..."

"Shut up." She tried putting her now slightly warm beer bottle to her neck in an attempt to cool her down.

"Wait Natasha, how long was it that you had gone without... you know..." Clint waved his hand about, not wanting to think about his best friend in that way, but also needing to know more.

Natasha mumbled something into the bottle.

"Sorry darling, didn't quite catch that." You said, a slight teasing tone to your voice.

"Two days..."

"Wait but we've gone longer than that before." You say, confusion written across your face.

"Well yeah but it's not the same when you don't do it" Natasha laughed it off, trying to regain some kind of upper hand, playing it off as if she didn't care. You just looked at her in shock.

"Wait seriously?"

Natasha just rolled her eyes at you, lightly smiling.

"OKAY. Time for bed!" Wanda started dragging people up, shoving them towards their rooms.

"Just what I was thinking." Natasha smirked at you, her eyes trailing over your tight outfit.

"...I unfortunately know that..." Wanda mumbled as she grabbed Vision and led him away.

"You could always join!" Natasha shouted to the retreating Sokovian, laughing when she stuck her middle finger up at the two of you. "Come on you, I need a massage." Natasha bit her lip, watching your face as you realised what she meant.

"Let's go then!"

[godofdystopia]

Sashannarcy Week Day 1: Date

Hello and welcome, as many of you know i’m a massive Amphibia fan and i also have a terminal case of Sashannarcy brainrot.

I’ve got a few stories that I've written, and i like to think they were good. And yet for the last two months I've had a bad case of Writers block that i couldn’t shake. I didn’t know what to do.

Then @phrogfrommars announced that she was hosting a Sashannarcy week for 2022 and I thought to myself “Hey, I could do that!” So here I am. For the next seven days I'm going to be releasing seven different stories about Sashannarcy that each fit the themes present in the week’s instructions.

Today marks the first day, Date. I truly hope that I did well. Thank you to @thisbelongsto-nohbodys for allowing me to use their Sasha Suit design for this story.

And without further ado, behold the show! Sashannarcy has a date and Wartwood are embarrassing, what else is new?

Words: 3.9k

“I’m no expert on hummus relationships, but I think you need to calm down a little.” Grime told the pacing human girl in front of him.

“Calm!? CALM!?” Sasha screamed at her commander/adoptive father as she paced back and forth in their cramped little room on top of the Sundew Tea Shop. Night had fallen on Wartwood and it would be at least a week till her and the girls went to Newtopia.

Normally, Sasha would be spending the time relaxing, trying to keep her mind off of her and the Toad Army’s plan, but right now even that would be a better thing to fret about than what she was thinking about every second right now.

“Do you know how perfect this needs to be Grimsey? Do you really? Because if I don't woo the hell out of Marcy and Anne on this date then the only kissing I'll be doing with them is kissing them goodbye!” Sasha ranted as she began rapidly cleaning her armor of every imagined speck of dust for the seventh time that night.

Sasha was rightfully nervous, however. Since she was going on a date with the two loves of her life.

After the disaster of a dinner party was over, the girls had taken a chance to just laugh and hang out without the pressure of the upcoming end of their journey hanging over them. Perhaps it had been the adrenaline, or the exhilaration of battle, or trying to keep her mind off of the plan, or perhaps it had been that she had spent the entire night trying not to descend into a big panicky mess over how absolutely beautiful the girls had looked that night, but asking them out had sort of just… slipped out.

At least she had the comfort that Marcy and Anne had also sort of screamed out a confession at the same time as she had. After an awkward silence, they had agreed to go on a date tonight to make up for the dinner party. Some place called Stumpy’s or whatever, Sasha had been too busy trying not to fall into excited squealing at their asking her out.

And now Sasha was going into full panic mode over the fact that she was going on a date with Anne and Marcy.

“I don’t know what you’re so worried about, anyway.” Grime said dismissively as he watched Sasha fret about the armor once more. At his lieutenants' poisonous glare, he held up his hands. “I mean, you already fought in glorious combat together and slew some deadly enemies. What more do you need?”

“They’re not toads, Grimsey.” Sasha said simply, speaking slowly to try and keep her anger under check. “Humans don’t ask each other out by killing some enemies and presenting them with trophies.”

“Be easier if you did.” Grime muttered as Sasha turned back to fretting over every last detail possible: Real or imagined. “I mean, take my sister for example! She hunted down a pair of love doves and made them into a fashionable suit for the girl she was head over heels for. Worked for her.” Grime said.

“Once again, Grime. WE ARE NOT TOADS!” Sasha screamed.

Before the two of them could descend into yet another screaming match, the door opened. Felicia Sundew, the red-haired proprietress of the tea shop they were staying at, swept in with a bundle in her arms.

“I would appreciate it if you all could keep it down, but from the sound of it you're going to go on till you’ve headed off.” Felicia said wearily, trying not to lose her patience with paying guests.

Even if said guests had terrorized the town not even a few months ago.

‘Patience Felicia, just have patience.’ She thought to herself.

Sasha had proceeded to ignore Felicia and start furiously cleaning her pauldron, as she’d found some microscopic fleck of dust in one corner, and so it was left to Grime to be the adult.

Again.

“My Lieutenant is just feeling a little, ah, anxious, before her big night.” Grime said to the frog, trying to explain why Sasha looked two steps away from a mental breakdown.

“I can certainly see that.” Felicia said, looking at the Blonde girl. She looked from the simple ponytail, to her armor, to the brief smatter of make-up on her. She looked about as normal as she usually did and yet looked worse from the obvious lack of care given to anything but her armor.

Felicia wondered if she should be diplomatic, remembered the sword fight atop Toad Tower, and decided not too.

“You look terrible.” Felicia said bluntly, causing the blonde to look up sharply and Grime to glare.

“I do no-”

“You’re going on a romantic evening out and you’re wearing the exact same thing as normal. The girls are going to think you believe this to be a casual evening, and any romantic interest will be gone.” Felicia said point by point, causing the girl to wince with each statement.

“I don’t have time! I need to get my armor to look perfect since I quite literally have nothing else to wear! Everything I could have worn went down with the Tower so I need to work on this and if it takes letting makeup and hair care fall to the wayside then-” Sasha rambled on and on, growing more hysterical as the reality that she was going to blow this started to set in again.

“I can help with that, here.” Felicia held out the bundle in her arms to the fretting blonde girl. Who looked at it like it was a two headed Hybeena.

Felicia uncovered the bundle in her arms to reveal a coat made with white and pink feathers and deep velvet leather. The feathers covered the shoulders like pauldrons while the back of the suit jacket trailed down to become more, far longer feathers, going down to just above the ankles. The cuffs of the coat were embroidered with gold while the buttons along it caught the light. The coat came with a crisp white button up and a pair of black slacks, that also were embroidered with gold.

The ensemble was gorgeous.

“This was given to me a long time ago by… someone very dear to me. It should fit you, I think.” Felicia said with a patient smile. “It should knock the pants off those girls, a lot better than the armor you came with.”

“I don’t, I don't know what to say.” Sasha said, at a complete loss for words.

“Just make sure to treat those girls well, okay?” Felicia said simply, the smile on her face taking on a sharp edge. “Anne has done so much for this town, she’s our protector after all. And Marcy is just such a sweetie.”

Felicia's smile suddenly looked a hell of a lot more dangerous as she leaned closer to the blonde human. “You will treat them well, right?”

Sasha gulped, nervous. The frog woman seemed… dangerous. “Of course, uh, ma’am?”

“Well isn't that nice?” Felicia leaned back and looked like the harmless tea shop owner. She held out her hands. “The suit’s yours.”

As Sasha held the suit up to the light and began holding it in front of herself in the mirror, Grime squinted at the feathers of the suit. “What bird did those come from?”

“Oh, love dove’s!” Felicia answered happily. “A very nice girl made it for me, even hunted down the doves herself.” Felicia sighed wistfully, staring off into the distance. “I wonder if Bea took over the tower like she wanted to…”

Sasha had to fight the urge to double over in laughter as she saw Grime’s face twist like he sucked on a lemon in the mirror.

**********

“Hop pop, I am begging you to please stop.” Anne pleaded with her adoptive Grandfather, who proceeded to ignore her.

“Nonsense Anne! This is how my father wooed his husbands, and how I wooed my Cynthia, and how my daughter wooed her husband. It’s tried and tested to work a hundred percent.” Hop pop replied as he laced up the massive flowing dress Anne was trapped in.

“It literally failed when it came to Sprig though.” Anne said before coughing as some makeup got in her mouth.

“Relax Anne, Marcy is cool! She’ll love you no matter what… oh, and Sasha too I guess.” Sprig, her adoptive brother, said as he continued to work his make-up magic on his big sister.

“Way to make me feel better dude.” Anne deadpanned.

“Just think of it as us stacking the deck in your favor if it makes you feel any better.” Hop-Pop said as he reached to put on a three foot tall wig on her head before it was knocked out of his hands by Polly.

“Yeah, no. If they see that wig they’re dumping her.” Polly said.

“Polly!” Sprig, Hop-Pop, and Anne shouted at the same time.

“What? It’s true, that wig is lame and we all know it!” Polly defended herself.

“You wouldn’t be here without that wig!” Hop-Pop yelled.

Anne drowned out the argument as Sprig kept on working his beautifying wizardry. In truth, as uncomfortable as she was with all the fuss over this, she would never really get mad about it. Yes, it was completely embarrassing and the thought of Sasha and Marcy seeing her in all of this made her stomach start to squirm.

But she knew that the Plantars were doing this because she was one of them. And she would never complain about that. Plus, she kind of deserved it for forcing Sprig through the same with him and ivy.

“Aaand done! Sprig cheered happily before putting a hand mirror in front of her. “What do you think?”

Anne was beautiful.

He got the lipstick to compliment the blush on her cheeks perfectly and the eyeshadow somehow made her eyes look shiny. His cosmetic sorcery had gone and done it.

It all made the dress, some old thing many other Plantar women and men had worn throughout the generations, to somehow not look ancient. It was a deep blue, with incredibly long sleeves that trailed all the way down to her feet and had flower designs embroidered across the whole ensemble.

In short, she looked like a fairytale princess.

“It’s… It’s perfect.” Oh god, she was going to cry. They’d spent at least two hours getting her ready and she was going to ruin it all by crying right then and there. It was her finally dressing as a girl for the first time all over again! “It’s, thank you!” She scooped the frogs up in a big hug, forcing the tears down but unable to stop the dopey smile.

“You’re a Plantar Anne, well always help.” Hop-Pop said gently, patting Anne on the back.

“HP stop, I'm gonna cry.” Anne sniffled, her smile still not leaving

“You’re gonna knock ‘em dead Anne!” Polly cheered.

“Oh, I should go! I gotta round up the townsfolk.” Hop-Pop said before rushing out the door. Anne just stared, blinking owlishly.

“What was that about?” Anne asked as she turned back to Polly and Sprig, both of whom weren’t meeting her eyes. Incredibly worrying.

“Weeeell, you see…” Sprig began nervously while Polly began chuckling.

**********

“And you’re sure you don’t want a love potion?” Maddie asked as she walked beside her lab-assistant/apprentice/best-friend.

“I’m not sure but it’s too late now.” Marcy said nervously as she fiddled with the frill around her skirt. She’d had Joe Sparrow go and grab her official noble’s dress that she'd worn when she was promoted to Head Ranger. A light violet dress that went from her neck to the floor with a pretty sash around her arms. She especially liked the Bolo.

Though right now she was wishing she could burrow into the earth and disappear.

A date, a real date, with the two girls she’s been head over heels for since she could remember. One where they had asked her out, even though she also asked them out. She had been worrying for years about how they would respond to the fact that she’d been madly in love with them since they met, turns out they responded by feeling the same.

That was still hard to wrap her head around, to be honest.

Anne and Sasha, the champion of the tennis court and the captain of the cheerleaders, the two most beautiful girls Marcy had ever known in her life, liked her. Her. Marcy Wu, nerd extraordinaire. They liked her, they liked her.

‘They won't like us when they learn what we di- nope nope nope, not thinking about that. Gonna shove that to the back of her mind and just ignore it for future Marcy to deal with.

Which unfortunately left her with nothing to think about but every last insecurity and doubt that she could possibly imagine.

“I’m going to be honest, I was gonna just give you a vial of tap water and call it a love potion.” Maddie said bluntly, looking Marcy in the eye as the Taiwanese girl continued to fret over her date. “Have you seen how those two look at you? They’re head over heels for you and everyone can see it.”

“I- i just-”

“Everyone Marcy, literally everyone.” Maddie said, not letting up in her attempts to cheer up her friend. “Polly even hosted a betting pool on how long it would take for any of you to ask each other out.”

“She did WHAT!?” Marcy asked, her face lighting up red as the moon in embarrassment.

“Yep.” Maddie said, popping the P. “That’s how obvious the two of them are about how they feel about you. Literally all of Wartwood could see it. Me and Ivy even won the pool and made a killing.”

Before Marcy could ask… any of the million questions that now flew through her head, they found they arrived at Stumpy’s. The diner was built into a massive fallen log, and usually Marcy would be trying to figure out what kind of tree the log came from or how the wood doesn't rot away around the restaurant, but currently she could do nothing but stand there gaping like a fish because there was Anne.

She looked like a Disney Princess, her hair even sparkled! Marcy felt herself grow tongue-tied over how her make-up was quite literally perfect. Her dress looked like it was straight out of medieval times in the best way. Marcy half expected to find a pair of frogs holding up the long trailing back of her dress like footmen.

“Oh.” Anne said, her face growing hot from how pretty Marcy looked. She looked like some courtly noblewoman, the lightish purple of her dress matching the pearls in her hair wonderfully. Anne stared at her and wanted to just kiss her then and there.

Aaand now Marcy was blushing, because Anne was just staring and blushing and not saying anything. They just stood in awkward gay silence.

Maddie hit the back of Marcy’s leg causing her to stumble forward. “You’re so pretty!” She shouted, her blush growing hotter from the embarrassment.

Anne just giggled happily. “Ah.. thank you, you too?”

“Is…?” Maddie just stared disappointedly at Anne while Marcy began twirling her hair around her finger “Is that seriously a question?”

“No! No it’s-” Anne sighed, steeled herself, and looked Marcy in the eye. “You’re beautiful.”

Marcy starred, her face breaking out into a giddy smile. But before she could respond, a familiar voice rang out.

“Hey girlfriends!”

“Sasha, you’re he- Urk!” Anne turned to the blonde only to choke on her own tongue at the sight of her. Marcy turned to see Sasha as well and her embarrassment went nuclear.

Sasha was in a wonderful black and red suit, with what looked to be love dove feathers about her. The gold embroidery along her arm cuffs and the bottom of her pants legs caught the lamp light wonderfully, while the coat’s arms somehow showed off her muscular arms well. She had her pink heron sword sheathed along her belt and rested a hand on it, and all together she looked like a knight, or a legendary hero here to sweep them both off their feet.

It was working.

“Ready for our date?” She asked, looking and sounding calm despite her deep red cheeks.

“Buh, buh buh buh.” Marcy had descended into incoherent gibberish. Anne meanwhile managed to fight off her growing gay panic long enough to simply ask “Are those love doves?”

“Yep! You girls like?” Sasha asked, giving a little twirl that showed off her heavy metal combat greaves. Even in formal wear, Sasha still likes feeling like she can kick through rock.

“Yes!” Both Marcy and Anne shouted at the same time, which finally got Sasha to drop the cool suave act she had and just giggle like a schoolgirl.

The silence they fell into was more comfortable now. It felt right. They all just… looked at one another and realized ‘this is happening.’ This was a date. A real date. No matter what happened tonight, there friendship would never be the same.

And they were all so head over heels for each other that they were perfectly okay with that.

“Psst. Lieutenant!” A gruff whisper came from the nearby bushes, causing Sasha to go rigid and twirl around to see Grime trying, and failing, to hide himself amongst the shrubbery. “Escort them into the diner and hold open the door.”

“Grimsey, What the Hell!?” Sasha yelled, mortified.

“Take the initiative Anne!” More whisper shouting came from around the corner of the restaurant, and Anne just sighed and facepalmed in annoyance as Hop-pop and a few frogs from around town popped out from said corner.

“What’s, um.” Marcy just looked around confused as she started to spot almost every single member of town hiding themselves around the diner. “What’s going on?”

“They’re here to ‘supervise.’” Anne groaned in annoyance, dragging her hand down to try and placate the growing headache. “They want the date to go perfectly and are willing to meddle to achieve that.”

“The door Sasha, get the door.” Grime whispered to his mortified lieutenant.

“Let’s just, let’s just go in.” Anne gestured at the door.

*********

It was awkward, being the only date in an entire restaurant.

Stumpy was hard at work in the kitchen, prepping everything that the girls could conceivable come up with, while in the corner Mrs. Croaker and Archie the spider played a piano she had brought in for this occasion. Other than those two, the girls were the only people in the entire restaurant.

Even still, they chose a booth against the wall because, well, why wouldn’t they?

Still, it was awkward. They’d known each other since they were kids, they’d told each other secrets that no one else knew, they knew each other better than anyone else in this world or any other. And yet now that they were on an actual romantic date, the silence was deafening.

Sasha drummed her fingers against the wooden table, looking anywhere but at her dates. Any time she looked up, Anne or Marcy would be looking up at her and then they would all blush and look away awkwardly.

Marcy kicked her feet back and forth as she pat her palms against the table, looking across the ceiling, while Anne sat and looked between the two of them nervously.

“So I was-”

“I think that-”

“I’m really-”

All three girls looked up and talked at once. They all blushed and went back to looking anywhere but each other.

The date was saved by the timely arrival of Stumpy, holding three menus in his good hand and all but sprinting over to the table like Herons were biting at his feet.

“Would any of you ladies like anything to drink?”

Sasha squinted at him. “Do you have anything to drink that doesn't have any flies in it?”

“Umm, yes?” Stumpy said nervously while Anne facepalmed and groaned.

“Then that, please.”

As Stumpy ran off, the girls fell back into awkward silence. Silence that was broken by Anne sitting up and loudly asking “How’s the weather!?” At the top of her lungs.

Sasha and Marcy just stared at her, their faces growing red, and Anne sat back and chuckled, drumming her hands against the table. “I’m sorry, I'm just… really nervous right now.”

“Oh my god.” Sasha just slid down in her seat, sighing. “Same.”

“I don’t even know why, but yeah.” Marcy giggled a bit.

Anne laughed from her slumped down position. “Like, I shouldn't be. I’ve been thinking of this moment forever, but I still am.”

“Wait.” Sasha sat back up and looked at her shocked. “You too?”

“Well, yeah… what do you mean, you too?”

“I’ve been planning how our first date would go for years now, if I'm being honest.” Sasha said with a nervous giggle.

“I’ve, um, I’ve been thinking about how to ask you out for years now too.” Marcy just looked between the two girls and laughed slightly.

“Holy shit! I thought I was the only one.” Anne said, shocked.

“No, for real, I've been in love with both of you forever now.” Sasha admitted, her chest feeling tight and her stomach squirming, and yet she somehow felt lighter for admitting it.

“Remember when I gave you both those ring pops when we were six? That was me proposing cause I wanted to marry you both and thought that that would work.” Marcy laughed to herself and the other two girls laughed with her.

“Followed you both for half an hour the day we met because I thought you were both pretty and I wanted to figure out how to impress you both.” Sasha said, smiling off into the distance.

“Wait, so that day in the park…” Anne asked, blinking.

“Yep, me trying to impress you with my dumb jock brain.”

Marcy was now smiling widely. “And you defended our honor, oh brave sir knight.”

Sasha made a half bow. “Any time, my fair maidens.”

Anne just laughed. “You are such a dork sometimes Sash.”

“Only for you girls, only for you.”

“Soo…” Marcy started, staring at Anne. “When did you start liking us Anna-banana?”

As Anne launched into her tale, which made the other girls launch into tales of their own over how much they liked each other, the awkwardness and nervousness of before had been long forgotten. The girls didn’t even notice when Stumpy, wearing a gentle smile at how happy the three of them were, dropped off their drink without a word and left to leave them more time to talk.

With plenty of blushes and talks of romance, the evening went on as they just talked to one another. They even forgot about the massive audience that was watching them.

Or rather, had been watching them.

Outside Stumpy’s, a massive and groaning pile of beat up frogs lay strewn about. Atop the pile of pain, Felicia Sundew sat and enjoyed a cup of tea.

After everything, the girls deserved an evening without worry and if she could help deliver that, then it was all worth it.

[valkerymillenia]

Do you know how messed up my life has been? Someone said I had to be making it up because no one person could have that much bad luck, but guess what? My whole life has been damn cursed, nothing has ever been great, lately it's a just a case of that bad snowballing out of proportion.

I need to vent, so just in bullets points, let's sum up the things that happened in my life just since covid started (can get a little triggery).

-my workplace (a national magazine) shut down and i lost my job (and as a writer and translator I got paid by each article and not a salary so not entitled to unemployment)

-my part-time (at a spa) went bankrupt because the owner just wanted an excuse to move away (also couldn't get unemployment benefits)

-cousin committed suicide

-our house debt piled up due to unexpected maintenance on our building and continued to pile with interested and every new yearly fee

-all my saved up money i wanted to use to get my driver's license went to the house debt and only made a mild debt

-pandemic started

-dad went through surgery to see if he could walk again (which ultimately failed) and became exclusively dependant on me, he's also deaf so i have to handle every single one of his official issues to serve as translator

-an old abuser started trying to reconnect with me

-dad got denied governmental aid

-mom and stepdad both got covid and i was too far away to help, end up using what little money i had again to make sure they had food and medication

-dad got caught driving without a valid license (due to a misunderstanding) and got a gigantic fine and sent to court

-we ended up survive on 300€ a month from my dad's disability plus any tidbits I can freelance

-car broke down and needed a new radiator

-my uncle/godfather died of covid

-my cat died

-car broke down again, needed a new battery

-dad gets denied retirement pension for the decades he worked abroad

-i had to stop my medication because i couldn't afford it, I'm in agony

-one of my doctors dislikes me and is very ableist and blocking a chance i could get government (financial) help for my health

-we accumulated another debt with a cable company that is not our fault, it's the new company's fault but no matter what we do or how we complain all our evidence gets ignored and we can't afford legal help to go to court

-my sister had a massive breakdown and had to be put on disability, immediately got fired and I worry for her deeply

-at the same time my bf also had a massive breakdown and got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD (again, I'm worried)

-my gf was told to leave her house because her landlord is sick of dealing with tenants and wants to sell the building, she has until the end of the month and still hasn't found a place

-my little cousin, who I'm very close to, contracted meningitis, had brain surgery, was in a coma for weeks (right through Christmas and new years), woke up unable to speak or walk properly, after more weeks of treatment he was released only to immediately return for more surgery due to acute infection, I've been distraught and I desperately want to see him but i can't afford the trip atm

-dad received the court sentence of 6 months suspended license and 400€ fine that we still can't pay

-DMV stone walling us for 8 months and counting (over just for a simple test to fix my dad's license)

-TV broke

-car broke down again, multiple broken parts this time, close to 500€ for repairs

-my aunt's Alzheimer's progresses so much that she no longer recognizes anyone

-my biological father has massive heart failure and is currently bedridden and likely dying but i can't go see him because he lives in another continent and i can't afford to eat, much less go see him one last time

-all debts still crushing us and piling up because we are literally surviving on scraps

And these are just the big ones, there's so many other small things just crushing my spirit. My confidence is dead, I haven't done any of my hobbies (except writing) in years, I have nothing good to look forward to, I'm sick but all i do is take care of everyone else.

I'm just at the end of my rope, ok?

[woncarnation]

i was living and then i had a thought as all thoughts do come about while alive

is your name woncarnations wonwoo + reincarnations or wonwoo + carnations

and then what if minwon reincarnation au where carnations are a main theme because they give each other carnations in every life but you didn't hear that from me (:

while im here i'd like to say your fics are so healing i swear to god you're able to paint such an incredibly striking picture that makes me want to really snugly wrap myself into a blanket burrito and sip earl gray tea and just cry (fond).... and like your writing has really made me realise so much about my own writing namely how impactful metaphors are when you litter them in tiny places instead of being me and covering the entire text in them

and also just how wonderful sentence structure variation can be (ive been slowly improving with that but honestly wow you delay the actual impact of a certain action with the way you phrase sentences and it makes such an impact subconsciously wow) so thank you truly <3

9.30pm and the most random thought crosses my mind lmfao 😭😭😭😭 my lack of impulse control is to blame

Anon, firstly, i would like to Apologise.....it's been 33 days and i didn''t open my tumblr notifications at all? Not even once?? (preposterous, please never forgive me)

To answer your question, it's wonwoo + carnation! As you can tell i Like flowers. Like embarrassingly so, even. But now that you've mentioned it, reincarnation work too...and the story idea... hold on. Hold on. I've actually been playing with a reincarnation story idea since forever, but never got around to it because of a lot of reasons. I will simmer in this delicious premise but I do have a lot in the docket at the moment. Planning to post something this year at least (hopefully soon), but let us see where it goes after that. Though, if we're talking about a drabble here, then! I might be able to do something about it sooner :>

And oh anon... thank you. truly. sincerely. One of the biggest joys of writing in fandom is to be able to give even the littlest bit of comfort, joy, etc etc to others. I've mostly written things that make me happy and excited, things i want to read at the end of a long day, all the while hoping that it would elicit the same feelings from whomever my fics reached. To know that my writing has such an impact--especially on your outlook about your own writing--is such a big honour to me? :'') My esl brain often wonders if what I put out is even half intelligible (I don't even know what I'm writing right now, lest what I want to say). I'm the last person deserving of this, buat AH thank YOU anon.

I'm in a massive writer's block currently, being in such a big life transition stage has not been kind, for the most part--but finding this message in my little dusty inbox has made me smile. Big Time. I will sleep happy tonight. Crying happy tears. Makes me supper giddy and excited to get back into writing the moment i get the time to.

I don't know if you'll ever see this reply since it's literally been a month...but thank you for dropping by lovely anon <3