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schwarzkatje · 3 months

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'50s!au with butch!ellie and married!fem!reader || part 2

part 1

ellie wants you to come with her at the gay hideout she spends the majority of her nights at. she may have sounded sly and even flirty when she asked to go together, but now she is starting to get the feeling like she crossed a line there.

it's ironic because ellie seems to take pride in showing how confident and unbothered she is, whether it's with joel or her group of friends. she always speaks her mind and loathes the thought of being silenced or when she's asked to be someone she is not.

if only this time there wasn't more at stake than the protection alone of her being: there's you. ellie doesn't want it to be over before even getting the chance to try. she knows deep down that losing you or scaring you away would be too much to take.

she mentally slaps her face with how ridiculous she's being. because you actually accepted the invitation. but still, ellie thinks she may be reading into it too much, not wishing to fall into the trap of false hope.

but then again, it's not like ellie asked you out: the only reason why this is happening is because your husband, joel and other friends of theirs gathered to play card games, leaving you alone and bored. the opportunity presented itself, that's what ellie makes of it. you, on the other hand, told your husband that it would be nice to get to know ellie and to get some fresh air, since you aren't exactly used to it, being a stay at home housewife.

except that you of course lied about the location ellie and you are headed to. you know deep down it's wrong. on so many levels.

all this mental torturing results in ellie scoffing while she gets dressed, tying her trusty necktie and spraying cologne all over her suit. this time, it's a black one. perfect to be worn for the night.

you don't have a driving licence so it's ellie that picks you up. this excites you in a way you can't exactly put into words. for this reason when you see her car on your patio, your heart gives in to said excitement and almost leaves a hole in your chest.

you grab your purse and your coat, give your husband a kiss to which he doesn't respond in the most loving way, barely acknowledging you, too fixated on his cards. you don't have time nor the energy to let this affect your mood, not when you are once again busy trying not to make a fool of yourself in front of ellie.

she looks out of this world. the suit is not something you haven't seen. but the suit alongside the slicked back hair turns out to be a deathly combo. why don't you feel half the things you experience with ellie?

"you must like this place a great deal if you're going dressed so fancy," you attempt joking while getting inside the car because if you take it seriously you know you will get yourself embarrassed beyond limits.

ellie has to clear her throat the moment your leg enters the car, giving her the premium seat vision of your charcoal stockings and your red velvet dress, temptingly hugging your chest. she likes to think she's playing cool but she doesn't manage to steady her voice completely. "and you must be taking the "gotta make a good impression at all costs" rule maybe a little too far". wow, ellie, that's how you talk to a woman, congratulations. "i mean yeah you look good, obviously i was pulling your leg".

"i know, ellie, don't get too serious with me" i already have my whole current and future life for that, you prefer not to add. "and thank you. you don't look so bad yourself".

the whole ride is spent with silences and stolen glances taking the place of unsaid words. you appreciate it but you also make this your defence shield against any possible embarrassment. ellie, too, doesn't seem to mind, only asking you if she can light her cigarette.

you have to take a few hidden roads to arrive to destination but overall you must have taken fifteen minutes or so. ellie parks and she maybe too obviously speeds the whole turning it off process because you see her on your right opening the door. she tops it off with her giving you her hand to help you get out. needless to say, you forgot how small things like this used to make you happy.

"i promise you'll love this place. music is top notch and don't get me started on the drinks," ellie really wants you to enjoy it and it's not just the excitement in her voice that gives it away, rather how her big eyes that exude such a pure sweetness that even if the hideout turns out to be a flophouse, you couldn't find it in you to show disappointment. then again, ellie seems to care especially about you, so you highly doubt she invited you over just to take you to some dubious taste pub.

as soon as you two set foot in there, you are stunned: there are areas with decorated tables and chairs, long counters filled with shot glasses and distant niches which you can enter by scooting the velvety curtains right before these areas. your prejudice had been faster than your open mindedness: you assumed this place would be chaotic and with different music than soft jazz.

instead your eyes wander and a smile creeps on your lips. you don't notice right away all the gay and lesbian couples. well, of course you notice but the fact is... this doesn't shock. you see them dancing, kissing, drinking, having fun and you can swear a weight you didn't realise until now was being lifted off your stomach. so it's normal, you mentally slap yourself for what you just thought.

"told you, you're gonna have a blast," ellie's voice brings you back to planet earth and the hand that swiftly hugs your waist to guide you into the pub nearly sends you into space once again.

you don't blush but at the same time your legs quiver, imperceptibly so. still, ellie's touch is not one you simply dismiss. it marks you, it's hot and firm, yet so gentle you sometimes could doubt she even touched you. to obliterate any confusion, your skin reacts to it. every. single. time.

ellie leads you both to another room in the hideout. the classy interior continues to impress you and this time you spot leather couches instead of thin wood chairs. this can only mean you and ellie are going to sit real close to each other. you can't help but gulp.

the hand ellie placed on your waist disappears only when you take a seat on this small yet comfy sofa. before you is a coffee table with a numbered card and a list of all the drinks. you pick it up and turn to ellie, who has also taken a seat, legs open and elbows planted on the sofa back. fuck.

she bursts out laughing and your puzzled face only eggs her on. "i bet 50 bucks i can guess which drink you are gonna order," ellie is sure of herself on this and too bad for you her laugh spread across you as well. "am i so easy to read? wait, two can play this game. let me guess your drink too," you seize the opportunity to hammer your shell. after all, if you can't do it here where and when else would you?

"alright, then. shoot," dares you ellie. your eyes glint, filling with the excitement of a trivial game. "you're gonna have a beer. easy as that. maybe a little bit basic if i can say so myself but everyone loves a good beer".

"ouch, you just called the best drink in the world basic. like, i would totally agree if it wasn't for the fact that your choice is a martini, so..." this way of playing engages you and dares you to come out more and more.

"without olives," you punctuate. "it doesn't matter. i still won and you," ellie points at you wiggling her index finger "you are starting to look like a sore loser".

"i'm not. if anything i'm impressed," this comes out genuine since it's the truth. it's thrilling to have someone with whom to create a natural connection, someone who must have watched you over time because how else could she have guessed? what is the meaning of this? what are you doing?

the waitress finally arrives and ellie, still high on the eagerness of having guessed, decides to tease you a little more. "a martini, please," she declares while her shit eating grin is directed towards you. she's daring you once again and your pride makes you take the bait immediately. "and a beer. not too cold if that's possible, thank you".

once the waitress is out of sight, ellie shakes her head, still wearing that breathtaking smirk and fishes out another cigarette and she puts it in between her lips. "damn, what were you saying about not being a sore loser?" ellie fiddles with the lighter, looking right at you. "you are making fun of me so you get a lukewarm beer," you cross your arms, pushing your breasts together and you inch closer to ellie.

"a beer is a beer," ellie takes a puff and drops some ash into the glass tray. "and by the way i'm too happy you came to even be bothered". she sounds so sincere and innocent it physically hurts you. you feel more and more like it's your job to protect her. "i'm happy i came, too. i needed this," what you meant by 'this' is unknown even to you.

your drinks don't take too long before they are placed on the small table and you take them. as if you had previously agreed, you raise them, tilting to bring them closer. ellie is the first to talk. "a toast to happiness, then." "a toast to happiness," you repeat.

it hits you when the alcohol starts its descend into your veins just how much ellie is exposing herself to you. again, it's not like most people in town don't know, but still, with you feels different. ellie generally shows her nature because she hates suppressing it and also to prove people wrong, to be a nuisance in their eyes. it's not because she's 100% at ease with the situation, it's more of a retaliation thing.

with you, it's a whole new ellie. she's not fed up, she doesn't need to be defensive and she shows her true colours because it's the only thing that comes natural, not to piss someone off.

while you take small sips you keep telling yourself now it's your turn to be vulnerable. or at least to initiate something. before it's too late and you regret and your lightheaded feeling wears off, you turn to ellie. not only that, your knees bump into each other and ellie shivers. your face get nearer and nearer, gaze fixed on ellie.

for the first time you see those puppy eyes open wide, taken aback and visibly surprised by how bold you are being. but it's when you take her hands into yours that an inaudible gasp leaves her chest and lands warm on your face. you both squirm and get restless the more your skin prolongs the contact.

"let's dance"

#ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #ellie williams x you #ellie williams #ellie tlou

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freuleinanna · 6 months

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I'm still confused about Verna.. I thought she was a demon?? Because why would Death be going around making a bunch of deals with people? After Verna told Pym she decided to go "topside" I thought she was some kind of crossroads demon since it implies she came from below (hell)

Oh! I feel you, and I struggled with that a lot too. She does seem a lot like a demon. I'm not saying I'm 100% correct in my thinking either, but here's why I personally think she's Death. Kind of a long post, sorry. I hope I make myself clear, but feel free to follow up!

So, Verna. An anagram for Raven, that much is established. Ravens are wonderful - symmetrical even - creatures. Bringers of death in a wide understanding. Bringers of good luck in many cultures. The duality is amazing. To me, that also leans majorly into the theme of death being a concept of duality: an enemy for some, a friend for others. Each greets her differently. I'm not talking about the characters here, but people in general.

There's a proverb I came across a while ago that reads 'Death is a great leveller'. Meaning, everyone's equal before her. You have no leverage or buffer against death, and it doesn't matter if you're poor or blindly, feverishly, grotesquely rich (like our folks here). Everyone pays the last bill. For everyone, there's a day of reckoning. It's a major theme with the show, at least. Verna also says 'Buy now, pay the bill later' - although it can still read very demonic, I agree.

She's obviously ancient, and I was leaning toward the demon theory based on all of her talking. Yet - she also keeps ranting about Egypt and pyramids and Cleopatras and such. What's the one thing with Egyptians everyone knows of? They honored death. Death may have been a bigger part of their lives than life itself. The Usher Twins' obssession with all things Egyptian, antiquities, jewelry, swords and such, plays a nice parallel here too, because they're just collectors. They have no grain of honor for the real thing, for what these things are tied to. Kind of a nice thought, I guess.

Anyway, back to Verna. She says on multiple occasions how intrigued she is with us, 'adorable little things'. She saw the pyramids, the expeditions, and she wanted to see what else we do, she wanted to see what Roderick and Madeline will do (in her own words). It's all an experiment to her. She makes an offer just to see what we, people, do.

Here's where my beef with a demon theory comes in. No demonic creature I could think of, be it an actual demon, a trickster, or something else, is that sincerely intrigued. Something something death loving life something something.

Demons, in my understanding, are most interested in winning the deal. They come up with incredible challenges, they enjoy torture, emotional or physical, they never let anyone win. Verna has never once expressed this. Quite the opposite. She gives everyone a chance to step back. Even when the ink has dried and everything's decided, each Usher sibling is conditioned to make a choice: push forward, or step back. Neither of them steps back. Neither of them takes a long hard look at themselves (except Tamerlane, both literally haha and figuratively, as she's the only one to have realized how lost she was in her way - just at the end, when it didn't really matter anymore, but still). Verna is kind to those she takes (sincere pet names, regrets of having to do it this way, making sure they know it's not personal, etc). She grieves with them, just before. Grieving - 'The Raven' being about an expression of grief and trauma - ravens as synonyms for death... you get the gist. Oh! Except Freddie - cause Freddie struck a cord. Infuriated her. So he doesn't get an expressed choice. And he would've blown it like coke anyway, so meh.

And then Arthur Pym. Oh, Arthur Pym. I honestly couldn't imagine a demon kneeling and thanking someone who's refused them.

About Arthur Pym, by the way. It's the one story I hadn't reread, and I should have, it turns out! haha Anyway, a few notes about his travels:

In the story, Arthur Pym is expressedly afraid of white color (North Pole, yada yada, white being the absense of colors/life, and the absense of life is death).

Verna enumerates the moments she witnessed of his travels. Someone getting left in Sahara. Someone getting shot in the Arctic. Something bad that was done to an Inuit woman. Why would she follow Arthur so closely? She didn't know him, he wasn't her favorite. I think it's because she came to collect those deaths. If she is death, she would've been exactly there, where people died. She would have also seen Arthur not partaking.

Aaaaaaaand it makes her 'You saw me' line sound better, because he had sure seen death along his travels.

I think the part about a place of out-of-time, out-of-space creatures and hollow Earth was a bit unnecessary, BUT I can try and tie it in this way:

It showed us how Arthur might have coped with what he saw, and he 'saw a lot', even in his 70s it's difficult for him to recall, and it made him think of humanity as a virus, literally;

He might have thought up that ethereal realm simply because he was in an expedition? Exhaustive conditions for both body and spirit? Traumatic experiences? If he saw Death, he might have cloaked it in his mind to cope with it, thus came his stories;

Verna going 'topside' may just mean that she had to go take a look herself, actually be willingly present for the events - to see the brave little humans conquer the earth. 'Topside', as in, 'visible, present, participating'. If Death exists, I doubt it bothers with our boring human realm but lives downunder, among all threads that weave the world.

So that's that on Arthur Pym.

A few other references my mind is too exhausted to tie in nicely:

Death takes Lenore. THE Lenore from 'The Raven' (mostly) and 'Lenore' (secondary). That happened. Also, death talking to a child of life? Regretting having to take her? Not very demonic of dear ol' Verna, in my opinion.

Her mourning veil, her last toasts to the Ushers at the cemetery? Demons don't tend to grieve their players. Demons don't respect and love them enough, and 'what is grief, if not love persevering'?

Death is the last threshold. Before death, we look upon our legacy (major theme with the show), we remember our losses and loves (Annabel Lee!!!!! love the poem, brilliantly done), we get heavy with regrets. We face death as an enemy & fight, like Madeline did. As a friend, like Arthur did. We confess, like Roderick did. All that is too significant to me overall.

And the last thing. It's Edgar Allan Poe. The whole Death tribute is a giant, incredible, thought-through-to-the-bits hommage to his literature where Death, figuratively and literally, takes the throne.

I hope I managed to express myself alright there. Thanks if you read it through, and as I said before, feel free to follow up or elaborate on some ideas. There are oceans to discuss. <3

#tore a few veins typing it out ughhhhh the poetry #asks #long post #the fall of the house of usher #tfothou #tfothou spoilers #tfothou tv #netflix #carla gugino #verna #meta post #the fall of the house of usher spoilers #edgar poe #edgar allan poe

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yanderes-galore · 6 months

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@montygatorshusband said: "My idea was Yandere Glamrock Freddy who gets really attached to a mechanic (reader). Since Freddy had his whole thing with Bonnie, and Bonnie got destroyed, he becomes obsessed with keeping the reader safe. So, Freddy stalks them through their Fazwatch (Which he disguised as an innocent gift). He gets really anxious whenever the reader takes off the watch or even the reader getting a small paper cut. So, Freddy decides to kidnap the reader so they can always be right next to him. In fact, whenever he has to leave, he puts the reader in his chest cavity so they can be *really*be together forever and ever."

A/N: Sure! I love writing Mechanic darlings when it comes to FNAF stories :)

Yandere! Glamrock Freddy with Mechanic! Darling

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Grief/Trauma, Fear of loss, Stalking, Paranoia, Overprotective, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Major character death, Forced companionship.

Honestly I've always thought Glamrock Freddy is naturally overprotective of you as a yandere.

However I've never considered the loss of Glamrock Bonnie being the reason behind it.

I really like the idea, actually.

After all, Freddy was very close with Bonnie based on his voicelines.

I personally see them as close friends but either way you can tell they were close.

The fact Freddy lost him would have definitely affected him to the point he's scared to share that same connection with anyone else.

It's unknown what truly happened to Bonnie and Freddy would be scared you'd get hurt.

The Pizzaplex has its own dangers and anything can happen.

Bonnie was an animatronic, you're a human mechanic.

You are even more in danger in Freddy's eyes.

Freddy is the naturally friendly type.

Every human, STAFF or child, is usually met with a friendly greeting.

Freddy would get attached to you rather fast, especially as a mechanic.

You help him get ready for shows and often check him over for damage or corrupted upgrades.

He feels you care for him... so he cares for you too.

Which brings up previous feelings about Bonnie.

Along with an overwhelming fear of losing you like the rabbit.

Freddy would definitely slip you a Fazwatch as a gift.

He's so kind to you and plays it off like a small gift for your bond.

Why are you refusing? This is on him!

Even if you say no he'll clip it to your wrist with a smile.

The Fazwatch allows him to communicate with you and allows him to find your position.

It's a gift, yes, but it also doubles as a way to calm his own worries.

For the most part you tolerate his little gift and keep it on during work hours.

Freddy would definitely panic a bit when you take off the watch.

Even when you work on other animatronics you can feel the watch vibrate as Freddy tries to contact you.

He watches your location like a hawk and is never too far from you.

Even if you take it off before you leave or to not get it messy, Freddy frantically rants about it to you.

You have no idea why he's so worried?

Freddy has shown he's capable to determine when a human isn't feeling well.

He would also be very attentive to when you were hurt.

Even if it's as small as a paper cut he asks what happened.

After that he's dragging you to a first-aid station to have you patched up.

The potential dangers of the Pizzaplex are something he thinks of a lot.

With mechanic work you could get shocked, lose a limb, be gutted...

Oh he hates thinking of that.

Reminds him too much of Bonnie.

His worry may indeed take over to the point he feels you shouldn't go home anymore.

It would take a long while but maybe Freddy feels he can keep you safe here.

He's delusional enough to think you'd be happy in his room, all safe and looked after by him.

In terms of the chest cavity thing I feel it would be a hard fit for an adult.

However, if he can manage it, he'd definitely use his chest cavity to carry you around with him at all times.

For the most part he keeps you in his room and out of sight.

Maybe even gags you to prevent you from screaming....

He hates the idea of restraints or gags but... anything to keep you safe.

Then when there's a performance needing to be done, you'll come along!

If he can fit you, that is.

Maybe he'll even find a way to make it soundproof!

He thinks he's making you happy and doesn't see how wrong his actions are.

Freddy just doesn't want to lose you like a certain bunny...

Could you really blame him for being so afraid?

"I'm keeping you safe, aren't I?"

#yandere five nights at freddy's #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf security breach #yandere glamrock freddy

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zepskies · 10 months

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Break Me Down - Part 14

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

AN: Stick around at the end for a special note — new SB fic dropping soon!

Word Count: 6,000 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! We return to the smut! Plus a healthy dose of fluff, angst, action, moral quandaries, and feels.

Part 14: Safe House

Jon lied in his hospital bed, frowning hard at a computer screen. His arm and collarbone were broken, along with a few ribs. He had a private room, at least, courtesy of Vought.

Stan Edgar strode in following a quick knock on the door.

“Hello, Jonathan. I meant to visit you earlier,” said Stan. Jon stared at his boss, silently simmering. On his laptop played footage of the destruction wrought on the Lower West Side by a major car chase.

“How are you feeling?” Stan asked.

“Why was Black Noir set loose on my wife and daughters?” he seethed through gritted teeth. Damn how the effort of keeping still was almost as painful as moving.

“Ex-wife, isn’t it?” Stan said, raising a brow.

Jon was not amused.

“I gave the order, yes,” Stan acknowledged. “On your eldest daughter.”

Jon was incensed. If he could get out of this bed, he’d very well contemplate strangling the other man. Stan seemed to know it, but considering his personal security guards were standing near the back wall of the hospital room, he also didn’t look worried.

“Why?” Jon asked, genuinely surprised and dismayed. “She’s not a threat.”

“Soldier Boy kept her for a reason,” Stan pointed out. “She brought him to our doorstep, with the intention of helping him assassinate me…eliminating her was a calculated risk.”

Jon shook his head.

“But since Noir has failed, we will have to prepare accordingly,” Stan said.

Jon glared back at him. “You think I’m going to help you?”

“I think you have a job to do,” Stan returned. “It didn’t stop you from breaking your daughter’s ribs, and very nearly her neck.”

Jon faltered, a brief regret weighing his frown.

“That wasn’t…that was to teach her a lesson.”

Perhaps he’d gone a bit too far, but he’d only been trying to subdue you. To get you to listen to him. But you’d always been stubborn.

Stan broke him from his thoughts.

“I am not being attacked, Jon,” he said. “We are. Your daughter is a part of it.”

“Marie and Luisa are not. Leave them out of this!”

Stan merely rose a brow. He folded his hands behind his back and withdrew. He was flanked by his bodyguards as he left the room.

“Rest up, Jonathan,” he said. “I’ll need you soon enough.”

The master bed was actually pretty comfortable, as you and Ben found out.

You clung onto his shoulders after both of you were spent. You panted for breath as he held you to him with his solid arms wrapped around your waist. You two were both kneeling, technically, in the middle of the bed.

Your thighs were molded to his hips, and he was still buried deep inside you. But as of yet, you had no reason to move. You were enjoying your vantage point above him, watching him collect himself with closed eyes.

The simple truth of it was, you’d missed him.

Even when he was being a stubborn pain in the ass, you hated every moment you had to watch him caged, watching him start to think he may never get out.

Your hands slid around to his back. It allowed you to hold him in more of an embrace as you caught your breath.

When his eyes opened, you met him with a smile. You slipped your fingers through his sweaty hair. Holding your free hand at the nape of his neck, you pressed your lips above his brow. Then another kiss to his scratchy cheek. His beard had gotten overgrown.

“You need a trim,” you said, letting out a breathy laugh. You kissed his cheek again. Slow, and with purpose.

Ben let out a sigh through his nose. His eyes closed again at your gentler kisses, your touch. Maybe he reveled in this—being able to hold you back. It felt right.

If he was honest with himself (and this time, he was), you were somehow able to ease the frayed edges of his mind. Edges that had been starting to unravel in that cell.

And there were other things too, that he was beginning to realize, but not yet willing to cement in his mind.

So you reluctantly detangled from one another, but remained in bed. The problem was, for whatever closeness you two had just shared…you weren’t quite sure what to do now.

You hesitated to ask him just what the two of you were doing. Mostly because you didn’t want to ruin whatever this was by labeling it.

So instead, you relaxed against his chest and pulled the blankets over you both. Ben didn’t just tolerate it; he settled a heavy arm across your lower back and over your hip. It made you smile.

“Ben…what do you want from the rest of your life?” you asked.

You didn’t know what possessed you to ask, but you had to wonder what the end goal was for him, after the issue of Vought was settled. After he presumably kept his end of the deal and retired to South America, or Europe, or wherever he wanted to go, really.

His hand came up to pet your hair. “I just got some of it.”

You huffed a laugh, hiding your face into his chest for a moment. You couldn’t see it, but Ben grinned at how easy it was to embarrass you, for how wanton he knew you could be.

“Come on, seriously,” you said.

“Seriously?” he teased.

“Yes,” you said, despite a giggle.

He let out something of a sigh. Meanwhile, his hand drew lazy patterns up and down your naked back.

“I always thought I had time,” he confessed. “To settle down. Have a family…I actually thought it would be Tess.”

That thought was accompanied by a bitter chuckle. Your brows furrowed in question.

“Crimson Countess,” he explained.

“Ah.” You nodded and rested a hand across his lower abs, playing with the thin trail of hair there that led south. He found it strangely soothing, if a hint arousing.

“Was it difficult killing Homelander?” you asked.

Ben scoffed. “Just chock full of questions tonight, aren’t you?”

You sat up and propped an elbow on his shoulder, so he had to look at you.

“Not physically. Emotionally,” you said. God forbid you ask him about his man feelings, but you really were curious.

Ben eyed you with a raised brow.

“I know he wasn’t really your son,” you said. “He was a raging psychopath and needed to go down, but was there a part of you that…was it hard for you?”

Ben’s mood dimmed as his lips pulled into a frown. “He was a true disappointment. Barely a man.”

That didn’t quite answer your question, but you thought you could read some of his true feelings on the matter. You didn’t think he regretted killing Homelander. But maybe he mourned the connection he could’ve had with a son. From what he’d said about Crimson Countess, you knew he wanted a real family.

That softened you. You brushed a lock of hair away from his eyes with delicate fingers.

“He was told he was a god his entire life. That’s what happens,” you said.

Ben scoffed at that, his gaze cutting away from you. You didn’t know what that meant exactly.

“And you?” he asked, turning back to you. “What do you want from all this?”

“Besides my family safe?” you retorted. But then, you considered his words. “I don’t know. I thought I knew who I was before I met you. Now I’m realizing that I can’t control anything in my life.”

Ben raised your chin, and therefore your face up to him.

“You can control you. You’ve been doing that since I met you.” His thumb swiped against your lower lip. “Especially this fucking mouth.”

You smiled. “But you like that though.”

His lips pulled at amusement, huffing in response.

“Come on,” you teased. You moved, slipping a leg over to straddle his lap. You delved into his hair with both hands, and he let you tug his head back as he now looked up at you.

“Admit it,” you said cheekily. “You like my mouth. Talking back to you…on you…and getting you off.”

All while you spoke, you brushed your lips across his cheek, down his jawline, pressed a nipping kiss along his neck, below his ear. Then you returned to his lips. But you also ground down into his lap, feeling his rising length brush against your wet folds.

He groaned deep as you plied him the way you’d learned to do. And your tongue slipped into his mouth with your next kiss. He gripped your hips tight, wordlessly urging you to lower down into his lap and onto his waiting cock. But you resisted.

“Say it,” you demanded.

When he merely smirked, denying you control, you lowered a hand to take a firm hold of his cock. He let out a low hum of pleasure as you pumped him a couple of times, then held him poised at your entrance.

“I’ll give you what you want,” you said, brushing his lips. “But first, tell me how much you missed this.”

His next breath came out sharp as you squeezed his cock in your hand. You knew you’d find his fingerprints on your hips and ass in the morning, but you didn’t care. Because you were about to fucking win.

“Fine,” he said, through clenched teeth. “Maybe I’ve been craving this, more than a fix. More than goddamn sleep.”

Ben’s eyes were dark with lust, and he thumbed at your lower lip.

“And this fucking mouth. Gets you into all kinds of trouble, baby doll.”

You smirked and finally sunk on top of him. His cock slid past your folds and bottomed out inside of you, making you shudder and Ben groan in relief.

You did exactly as you promised. With your hands braced on his shoulders, you moved over him nice and slow.

Well, nice for you. Torturous for him.

He cast his head back to the headboard as he fought not to make you move.

“You’re fuckin’ killing me here,” he growled.

Your mouth curved into a grin.

“Alert the media,” you said. “We’ve got the ultimate weapon against Soldier Boy: a slow ride on his dick.”

Ben’s rich laugh rumbled out, crinkling his eyes at the corners and making you smile. You felt the impact of his laughter deep inside you, which wasn’t unpleasant. But you had mercy on him and finally picked up the pace. He grabbed a fistful of your hair for leverage while your lovely tits bounced in his face.

Then his fingers slid between you, parting your folds to rub at your clit. It made your hips stutter as you let out a mangled moan. Your inner walls started to tighten around him, earning you another muttered curse. He couldn’t help but thrust up inside you, mostly in time with your movements.

But he got impatient.

He grabbed your hips tighter and flipped you over, with your thighs wrapped around his hips.

“The moment I saw you, I knew I’d have you,” he gritted out. “Fuck, just like this.”

You gasped as he pounded deeper inside you. You felt like the bed was going to swallow you up. But you pressed your heels into his lower back and held on for the rest of the ride.

Within moments, Ben spilled into you so hard and fast that it took both of you by surprise. It felt hot and tingling inside you, making you shudder again.

Thank God for IUDs, you thought.

And when his fingers found your clit again in time with his last wild thrusts, it was enough to tumble you over along with him.

Afterwards, Ben braced himself on the headboard as a line of sweat dripped down the column of his neck. You grabbed onto his free hand while you caught your breath. His lips tugged at a smirk, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand.

“And we’re not done,” he said. “Not by a long shot.”

Ben woke to the annoying sound of coffee percolating. A normal man would have slept right through it, but thanks to his sensitive ears, he was up at…

Christ, it’s 11 in the morning. He noted the digital clock on the nightstand and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He actually slept all night. And all morning.

Up until recently, that had been impossible.

He heard puttering in the kitchen, knew it was you because of your soft humming. It drew a smile to his face without him realizing.

He climbed out of bed, showered, shaved and trimmed off the wilder parts of his beard, and dressed casually with the clothing he found in the closet. Wasn’t a perfect fit, but it would do for now.

This house was also not what he was used to. It was small, and too “suburban dad” for his taste. But he guessed it was better than an underground glass prison cell.

He ventured into the kitchen, where the smell of good food made his mouth water, and the sight of you frying bacon (trying not to get burned by the sparking grease) deepened his grin.

All you wore was his discarded shirt from yesterday, presumably over your underwear as it hung around your thighs, and a pair of slippers you must’ve found in the closet.

Maybe you heard him coming, because you glanced back over your shoulder and met him with a smile. But it soon edged into a more serious look as you turned and leveled him with your spatula.

“Okay. I don’t want any smartass remarks,” you warned. “I did make breakfast, because I’m a nice person, but don’t expect this for every meal.”

Ben raised a wry brow.

“Morning to you too,” he drawled. He rested a hand on your lower back as he looked over your shoulder, surveying the plate of cooling bacon, the pan of scrambled eggs, and the toast ready to be buttered on the counter, next to a jar of strawberry jam. “Looks good.”

You watched him steal a piece of bacon, your lips quirking.

“Is that a thank you?” you asked.

He purposefully bit into the bacon instead of answering. You gave him a narrowed look, but you were still amused.

“Even a child can say please and thank you,” you pointed out.

Ben turned to you then and hooked an arm around your waist, suddenly pulling you tight against him.

“All right. How about this?” he replied. His head bowed and kissed you thoroughly. He tasted coffee and jam on your tongue. A surprised moan caught in your throat, and you clung to his arms on instinct. Meanwhile, free hand went to your hip, bunching the material of the stolen shirt.

When he broke from you, he looked down on your somewhat dazed expression and had to temper his smile. He gave you a nice slap on the ass, shocking a yelp out of you.

You shot him a dry look.

“Is that please, or thank you?” you teased.

Ben rolled his eyes and kissed you again, trapping you against the counter this time. But he didn’t allow himself to get carried away (yet). He swept back strands of your hair and let his fingers skim across your cheek, feeling your skin warming under his touch.

He finally settled on brushing his thumb across your bottom lip, meeting your eyes.

“Thank you,” he said.

It had a deeper meaning, you realized from the gravity of his gaze.

“That fucking bitch probably wanted to put me on ice the second they brought me in,” he said.

You could only assume he meant Grace.

“You’re probably the reason that didn’t happen,” he continued. “And that I’m here now.”

Emotion threatened to choke you, beginning to sting your eyes. You cleared your throat and soothed a hand along his forearm.

“You made the deal,” you pointed out. Ben shook his head.

“You were right. I want the fucking target off my back, once and for all,” he said. He touched where a smattering of bruises from the car accident colored your temple and part of your cheek with fading purple and yellow.

“But I’m getting it off you too," he said gruffly. "You want a deal? Here it is: no one’s fucking touching you again as long as I’m around.”

Your breath hitched as your heart began to hammer in your chest. You wanted to ask what that meant. You wanted to ask if, maybe, he wanted to be with you. If he…

But you lost your nerve.

“The eggs are gonna get cold,” you said in a coarse whisper.

Ben smirked.

“That’s really what you’re fucking worried about?” he asked, shortly before he cut off your would-be reply with a heated kiss.

Your arms twined around his neck, almost of their own volition. He already had you by the waist, and from there he hefted you effortlessly onto a small clean portion of counter space in the kitchen. His hands burned up your thighs, underneath the overlarge shirt. When he encountered nothing but bare ass, his lips curved against yours.

“What a naughty girl. You’re out here cooking with no fucking panties on?”

It was your turn to smirk as you held a hand to his cheek. He did in fact trim the beard.

“You like that, don’t you?” you remarked.

His dark chuckle was your answer as he spread your thighs wider. Your breath came out a bit shakier as his hand went smoothly up the inside of your thigh and slipped between your folds.

“Already wet for me, I see,” he said. His smirk only grew as you whined with pleasure at the invasion of his fingers. First just teasing inside your entrance, working you up. Your grip on his neck tightened, your nails digging into his shoulders.

“Ben…”

“How many fucking times I gotta tell you to be patient?”

“Ugh.” You dropped your forehead into the crook of his neck. “You are the worst.”

His resulting chuckle reverberated in your chest and tingled down into your lower belly. Combined with his teasing, it made your inner walls tighten on nothing from anticipation…until two of his fingers suddenly sunk deep into your heat. You cried out into his ear in surprise.

“Ben,” you breathed, but it ended on a moan as he finally began to give you what you wanted. His thumb found your clit and circled slowly while he thrust and turned his fingers inside you. You gripped at his hair, holding on tighter and tighter as your walls clenched on his hand.

“That’s it, baby doll. I gotcha,” he muttered. Though you teased a grunt out of him when you snaked a hand between you to palm at the bulge in his jeans. If he was going to give you a good morning, you’d be sure to return the favor.

He kept working on you, but with shaking hands you unzipped his pants and aimed to free him from those tight boxer briefs.

Unfortunately, your cell phone ringing halted both of your plans. It was on the kitchen counter, and it vibrated across the tile next to you.

Butcher calling…

Both of your heavy breathing accompanied the shrill sound. But when you noticed the caller ID, you gave Ben a rueful look.

He frowned in annoyance, but he withdrew from you, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel before he grabbed your phone and answered it (even if it took him two or three angry tries on swiping the green button). You put it on speaker.

“What?” Ben grouched into the phone.

“Apologies for interrupting what I’m sure is a dewy morning after,” Butcher said with all due sarcasm. “We’ve got a lead on Neuman.”

You raised a brow at that. Tugging down your shirt back over your thighs, you answered, “Where is she?”

“She’s giving a speech at NYU this afternoon.”

You frowned. You knew for a fact he hadn’t run that by the whole team.

“It’s not a good idea to catch her there. Too exposed. Too many people could get caught in the crossfire,” you said.

“Her next scheduled outing is a fundraiser for the homeless. That any better?” Butcher asked with mock cheer. “At the least the college kiddos won’t be coughing up a lung because their hepatitis A’s on a flare up.”

Ben’s lips twitched at amusement, but your frown only deepened in irritation.

“You’re unsavory, you know that?” you said, rubbing at your temple. “…Fine. We’ll catch her at the college.”

“Wasn’t really up for fuckin’ debate,” Butcher replied. “We head out in two hours.”

This isn’t going to be easy, you thought.

You were teamed up with M.M., Annie, and Hughie on surveillance, sitting in Frenchie’s van on one of the side streets outside the auditorium where Victoria Neuman was giving her speech.

Kimiko and Frenchie had formed a perimeter with Butcher on the campus. After the speech came to a close, Butcher, M.M., and Frenchie had worked out where Victoria would likely be escorted out to get back to her limo.

But you forced yourself to take deep breaths. You watched the various camera angles you and M.M. had been able to hook up to the monitors inside the van. On one of the screens was Ben in his full Soldier Boy gear, sans helmet, waiting for his cue.

You felt M.M. glancing at you, and you met his stare. His expression was tight, but mostly stoic. Still, you had a feeling you knew what he was thinking.

“He can do this,” you said.

M.M. shook his head and faced the screens. “You think you can fucking change him.”

“No,” you said. “But he just might surprise you.”

You weren’t trying to change him, nor were you trying to free yourself anymore. He’d caught you, in more ways than one.

Now, you were just trying to help him. And maybe, help yourself.

“I don’t give a fuck,” M.M. bit out. Annie and Hughie glanced at both of you in thinly veiled concern. You just quirked a humorless smile.

“I think you do,” you replied.

“All right, look alive,” Butcher said on the comm. Victoria’s speech was over. She was shepherded off the stage by her bodyguards while the president of NYU got up to make closing remarks.

She got as far as the hallway leading to the back door of the auditorium before Frenchie and Butcher sniped out her guards. You watched Victoria gasp and flinch at the bullets flying all too close to her. She looked around sharply, but finding no one there, she made a run for the exit.

That was when Ben ambushed her from the side, grabbing her from behind and shoving her through the door of the next room before she could aim her gaze at any part of him.

Ben stalked in after her. You adjusted the camera monitors to connect to the science lab they’d burst into. Every muscle in your body tensed as you watched.

Meanwhile, Ben was wary but not afraid as he kept his shield in front of his face. Victoria raised a hand to a her now bruised arm, but she scrambled in her navy pencil dress and heels to pick herself up.

She looked up at the supe striding toward her, taking in his head protecting his upper body. So she focused her gaze on his right thigh, making him falter as her power made her eyes roll into her head and blast at his suit.

The skin underneath was durable though. It felt like a nasty sunburn, one that Ben could ignore. He approached until he could grab her by the hair and turn her face away from him. She cried out, clawing back at his hand.

He placed his shield onto the holster on his back and got a hold on the back of her neck. He forced her onto her knees while he made her keep looking at the ground.

“Soldier Boy,” she panted. “Haven’t had the pleasure.”

“Cut the fucking chit-chat. Where the fuck is Stan, that dick tease?”

He was about to start squeezing his grip, when he was suddenly thrown into the far wall. He fell into a mess of student desks, beakers, and various scientific instruments.

“Zoe!” he heard Victoria shout. Apparently the woman’s daughter was a supe too. A telekinetic, by the looks of it.

With an angry growl, he picked himself up and shook off the glass from his shoulders. By the time he looked up, Victoria was ushering her daughter out the opposite door.

Ben ran after them, following them into what seemed to be another classroom. This one was full of students busy taking a test, and a professor grading a large stack of papers. Ben zipped through and ignored the gasps and shocked faces, along with a couple of kids that recognized him and immediately took out their phones.

He also didn’t care that his elbow knocked the stack of papers to the ground (to the professor’s outrage).

He bulldozed his way into another empty classroom, where he threw his shield at Victoria’s back. With a cry, she tripped and fell into a desk, and was separated from her daughter.

“Mom!” Zoe cried and reached out for her, but Victoria raised a frantic hand.

“Stay there!” she shouted back at her. Her attention focused back on Ben.

She razed at his face and chest with her powers. Ben winced as heat flared across his skin, blistering to the point of second-degree burns on his arm after protecting his face. He strode forward and grabbed her again, this time with a thumb pressing over one eye.

“You wanna keep your fucking eyes, or you want to tell me where your father is?” he demanded.

“No!” Zoe shouted. She raised her hands, and a violet glow of energy spread between them. Ben picked up his shield, ready to use it as a projectile against the girl.

Until your voice sounded in the comm in his ear.

“Go easy, Ben. She’s not the target,” you warned. He hesitated, his lips twisting in annoyance.

“Zoe,” Victoria warned. His thumb still pressed threateningly against one of her eyes. The other looked up at him, defiant. But her lower lip was trembling.

“You really want your daughter to be a part of this?” Ben asked darkly.

You were on pins and needles. While you watched the screen, M.M. glanced at you.

“We need to do something,” Annie said. She had been antsy the entire time, and when Hughie tried to grab her shoulder, she shrugged him off.

“We can’t extract the girl without Neuman seeing us,” you said. But you weren’t happy about it.

Annie gave you an incredulous look. “So you’re okay with that psycho killing a little girl?”

“Of course not, Annie!” you snapped. “But this is the reality of catching criminals. They rarely go down by themselves.”

She frowned angrily at you.

“That sounds like an excuse for murder,” she said.

There was a tense moment, in which you and Annie stared back at one another. You eventually relented.

“Okay, go. But stay on standby with Kimiko and Frenchie. They’re outside the classroom, 112B,” you told her. She and Hughie raced out, and you let out a breath while you turned back to the tense scene in front of you.

“Look, I don’t know where he is,” Victoria said. “We haven’t exactly been on speaking terms.”

“Then get him on the fucking phone,” Ben snapped.

A tear streamed down her eye, the one that briefly closed, then looked up at him.

“He’s not a bad man,” she said. “Not…entirely.”

Ben snorted in response. “Well, aside from trying to replace me with a bullshit knockoff, shipping me off to motherfucking Siberia. He stole from me. My life. And the bitch of the whole bunch, tried to kill me with a fucking clone, with the help of my own DNA. So excuse me if I’m past the fucking point of forgive and forget.”

“Fine! Fine,” she said, when he started squeezing in earnest. “Let my daughter go, and I’ll help you.”

Ben glanced up at the girl. She was frightened, with her glowing hands still poised to try and take him out. He still had half a mind to knock her out first.

“She’s just a kid, Ben. Let her go,” you said in his ear.

After another tense moment, Ben nodded.

Annie burst into the classroom, followed by Butcher, Frenchie, and Kimiko. Annie reached Zoe with a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she shared a look with Victoria.

“She’ll be okay,” Annie told Victoria, who nodded as more tears slipped down her cheeks. Ben held her firm by the shoulders when Butcher came with a device, no doubt provided by the CIA. It looked like a large metal band that clicked into place around Victoria’s head, covering her eyes.

Kimiko and Frenchie led her out, while Annie and Hughie did the same for Zoe. Butcher shared an appraising look with Ben, who stared back at him coolly.

Meanwhile, you let out a deep breath. You sat back in your seat and ignored the way M.M. gave you some cursory side-eye.

Thank Christ that’s over.

Back at Supe Affairs, Victoria gave them addresses to her adoptive father’s known safehouses. Not because they expected to find him there, but because they might find even more material to leverage against him before they attempted to arrest the man.

While Butcher and the rest of the team ran down the leads, you and Annie made sure Victoria’s daughter Zoe was put in protective custody, again, with Grace’s help.

Afterwards, Ben was waiting for you in the car that would bring you both back to the safe house. You rode there in silence.

When you got inside the house and made your way to the bedroom, Ben followed you. It seemed he couldn’t help himself. His arms were crossed, and his face was tight. You waited on him to speak as you started rummaging in the dresser for a shirt and pair of jeans to change into after a shower.

“I don’t need you yapping in my ear when I’m trying to get shit done,” he said.

You paused in your search, and you turned to him, raising an incredulous brow.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to stick to the plan. Targeted kills only, remember? Zoe wasn’t the target.”

His frown soured. “She hit me first.”

You stared back at him. Then you raised your eyes heavenward, praying for strength. And you let out a breath.

“She was trying to help her mother, Ben.”

“If you’re grown enough to throw a punch, you’re grown enough to take one,” he argued.

“You’ve never hit me once,” you pointed out. “Is it different because she’s a supe? Were you really going to kill a child?”

“I never said that,” he said, glaring at you.

“Would you have killed Ryan too?” you asked.

Ben expelled a sigh of exasperation. “Would you shut up already?”

“No,” you refused. And you followed him into the living room when he stormed out. “You’re not going to weasel your way out of this. Would you have killed Ryan?”

“I don’t know,” he snapped. “He was Homelander’s fucking kid.”

“And that makes it all right?”

“Yeah, are you gonna say that in a few years? If he turns out just like Homelander, are you going to come crying to me to take him out?”

You glared at him. He was making a valid point you couldn’t refute, but that didn’t change what he was trying to do.

“You’re unbelievable.” You shook your head and crossed your arms. “You’re actually justifying this.”

“Whether you want to admit it or not, a supe is a supe,” Ben said, raising a finger. “No matter how old they are, they’re a threat.”

“It doesn’t mean a child shouldn’t be protected, Soldier Boy,” you countered. “A life is a life.”

“Hey, if you want to be sanctimonious, good for fucking you,” he shot back. “But don’t tell me how to do my fucking job.”

“I’m asking you to keep your word,” you said. “For both of our sakes.”

That managed to shut him up. With a sigh, you tried to ease up and take his hand. His glove was busted, the skin underneath was red and raw. He allowed it, but he still looked down on you with reserved irritation.

You knew you didn’t have to remind him what breaking Grace’s agreement would mean, for both of you.

“Just follow the plan,” you implored. “Targeted kills only. No collateral damage.”

After Ben came out of the shower, he went into the bedroom to change with a towel wrapped around his waist.

You were already cleaned up, a messy bun atop your head, wearing a plain shirt and some shorts, and sitting up in the bed with your new laptop. But you subtly watched him move around the room.

You noticed the burns across his chest. You were still irritated with him, but you couldn’t help it. You set your laptop aside and went to him.

Ben saw you coming through the large mirror above the dresser. His head turned to you just as you raised a tentative hand near the burns across his chest.

“Does it hurt?” you asked with furrowed brows. Your fingertips were light in touching his chest.

It did sting, but it wasn’t that bad.

Still, all Ben said was, “No. They’ll probably be gone in a few hours anyway.”

Your lower lip stuck out a little, like you didn’t quite believe him as you inspected the various burns.

Ben eyed you. He still couldn’t fucking figure you out.

He knew you were into him…and evidently, you cared about him.

Still, you fought him on virtually everything. There were times when you seemed almost disgusted by him, but when he fucked you, you acted like he was the eighth wonder of the world.

Even now, that perfect damn mouth of yours was frowning while your fingers moved delicately over his skin.

“You want some aloe vera?” you asked.

He knew by your face that you were completely sincere. It made him chuckle. You looked up at him in confusion.

“What’s so funny?”

Not unlike this morning, he picked you up (smirking at your squeal) and set you down on the dresser. His hands rested on your hips while yours laid gently on a non-burnt area of his chest.

“For someone as breakable as you, you seem to be real concerned about me,” he said. “...You’re really not afraid of me, are you?”

Your fingertips ran down his skin, unintentionally raising goosebumps. Though you considered his question with a tilt of your head.

“Why, are you going to break me?” you teased.

Ben huffed in amusement. His lips drew near yours, hovering but not yet claiming. He wanted you to come to him this time. Wanted you to let him know if this thing, whatever it was between you two, was heading where he thought it was…

And you didn’t disappoint him.

You reached out and framed his face with both hands, and pulled him into a kiss. For once, neither of you were in a hurry as one languid kiss turned into another.

Your tongue slipped into his mouth, and he welcomed you with a deep, reverberating hum, along with your thighs slipping around his hips. He took a firm grip of you there, while your fingers carded through his hair.

“Still not tired of this?” you whispered against his lips.

He backed off enough to look at you. Really look at you. His brown hair fell above his brows, and as was your habit, you swept some of it out of his eyes.

You read his answer there without him having to say it in words.

So you pulled him back in.

AN: 😏 Was their reunion everything you wanted it to be? Let me know in the comments!

(And do you wanna know where we're going next?)

Next Time:

“Good morning,” Stan greeted, raising his mug. “Care for a cup? Perhaps a donut.”

“Still fucking smarmy,” Ben said. He stood in front of the man’s desk, flexing his half-gloved fingers. He glanced up at the walls of this office, this tower in the sky. “We’ve been doing this dance for a long time, you and I.”

“And yet, on entirely different tempos,” Stan replied. “How can I help you, Soldier Boy?”

Keep Reading: PART 15

Special Note:

I'm releasing a new one-shot soon, set in this story-verse called "Love Actually." It's part of @deanwinchesterswitch's Christmas in July fic event running this month!

Go here to check it out and participate (as a writer/artist or a reader)!

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crookedlyinnernightmare · 8 months

Text

ok i want to jot down some quick notes on kusuo's restoration ability. Kusuo says in the above panel that he needs to restore his target's body before the pain reaches their brain, which implies that his restoration power doesn't work on the brain. That, and the fact that people don't typically lose their memories when he reverses time on them (see: kuniharu begging kusuo to heal him after he stubs his toe). Memories are just pathways in the brain, so they should be reset if this power actually affected them.

I've wondered if, perhaps, the brain is immune to his power, but i think that's a backwards way of thinking about it. Rather than proposing the brain to have a Special Feature™ which renders Kusuo's restoration power null, i think it's way more likely that Kusuo's powers are making the active decision to skip over them.

So. why would this be? I think it has to do with the drawback he mentions in chapter 9:

When using restoration, "all the things nearby also end up affected." That description might be a little deceptive because it's easy to assume that "nearby" means everything within a certain radius will be affected, but in later chapters that's clearly not the case. Take this section from chapter 103:

When Kusuo restored the hole he made in this wall, his power travelled across the length of the wall, but did not extend perpendicularly to affect the people, houses, street, etc. near it. So it may be more accurate to say that when Kusuo tries to restore an object, his powers will automatically identify that object as one small part of a larger system, and then proceed to reverse time on that entire system.

Typically, this is a very intuitive process. Reverse time on a wall, his entire house gets restored. Reverse time on his video game controller, his entire gaming setup will be restored. Reverse time on the volcano, the entire Earth will be restored. However, the brain vs body situation is not intuitive.. or at least not to me at first glance. But for Kusuo, it may well be.

A huge part of Kusuo's worldview is dominated by the difference between people's thoughts, and people's actions. Brain vs. Body. That sentiment is the very first thing we see in chapter 1:

Even in Volume 0, when Saiki only existed as a series of oneshots, before serialization. Chapter 0.1 is all about Kusuo's telepathy. And we're greeted with panels like this:

which display a huge gap between appearance and thought. Many major characters also play into this concept: Nendo (looks thuggish but can be very kind), Teruhashi (appears perfect, is not), Kuusuke (displays himself as a charming and trustworthy graduate of cambridge, is actually verrry fucked up), etc. Kusuo himself hides his psychic, genius brain behind a facade of normalcy. It's an absolutely fundamental aspect of the series.

So again, why shouldn't Kusuo feel a distinct separation between the brain and the rest of the body? And why shouldn't this belief express itself through one of his most used powers? His powers aren't some separate, unknowable entity doing whatever they want to inconvenience him- they are him. And I think this is a good example of that.

sidenote: a silly little scenario i've considered before is whether kusuo could make someone effectively immortal by reversing time on them every day, but since his powers skip over the brain, I'm now sure the answer to that question is "no." Unless, of course, he made an effort to access the brain directly, but even with all the dark stuff in this show, i don't think kusuo's ever reached into someone's skull to get directly at their gray matter. now wouldn't that be something..

#saiki kusuo #saiki k #tdlosk #saipsi

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 16 days

Note

AITA for not playing piano in front of my family?

Well it's a silly one but every time it happens I feel more and more like the asshole.

My mom is a musician teacher and she played the piano professionally since she was a child. She grew up in a strict country with strict parents so I guess this is the only way she knew how to act.

Idk if she wanted me to be a famous pianist or something but she forced me and my bro to learn it since we were 3 or 4 or something.

I hated it. I hated it so much. It was always difficult and classical musics. She would always make us cry because she got really angry when we made mistakes (not like hitting angry just shouting angry).

As years passed by, she realized the justification of "you'll thank me in the future" was not worth it for us or for her (the classes gave her a lot of stress also at the time).

Honestly, I do thank her. I realized that I love to sing and have a really good voice if I may say, and I can use the piano to accompany me or I am good enough to learn musics I want to play by myself with all that I learned from her.

Now I'm an adult and I'm currently doing a major in something else but I think I'll never stop singing. My family loves it and loves music and I love to be on stage or sing to others so it's been a win win situation for little less than a decade.

Sry for the long post that was the context.

Ok I have a piano in my living room of the apartment I have with my parents and bro

I really like to play it while singing in a discord music server. But I can only do it when I'm alone at home.

Idk why but everytime I play the piano and my mom is near me watching I start getting anxious and just refuse to play in front of her.

This kinda extended to the rest of the family at home recently.

Like singing I can do whenever but the playing piano part is a no no. And honestly I feel like such an asshole.

My mom doesn't say anything nor the rest of my family. But they try to give me space when I'm playing by entering the apartment quickly and going to their rooms to leave me by myself for how long I'd like. But for me everything is already ruined(?) and I just go to my room after a few minutes.

They try to encourage me saying that they will go to their rooms and that I can relax and I feel bad that I'm kinda guilting them into messing up the music or stoping me from having fun just because they are around

It happened again today and I'm so mad at myself. It only happens specifically when I'm playing piano on a discord call. For the rest I'm fine with it. I can play if my mom or my bro asks, or by myself. But I love doing singing calls so all the time I use the piano in the living room is for this.

Like, I can see that the classes affected me a bit. But cmon, it's been years now, I'm a freaking adult. It's been so long that I feel that Im just being an asshole at this point

Am I being the asshole for not playing the piano when my family is at home?

Also, writing this ask made me a bit mad at myself again so I'm thinking of doing a discord call test while my mom is at the living room and try to get used to it. If this gets posted I'll tell how it went.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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canonicallyobserving911 · 1 month

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Buck & Eddie: Magic & Chemistry

The MAGIC & CHEMISTRY Eddie said he was looking for in 6x17, he already has it with Buck, therefore his current relationship status with M is UNDETERMINED!

In 6x17, Eddie spent a lot of time trying to find someone to date and all he ended up with was a dog bite on his hand. He told the team he wants what he had when he met Shannon which was “magic”, according to him and when Chimney questioned his belief in it, Eddie said he believes in “chemistry”.

Well, he already has both of those things with Buck. Buck said Eddie sucks at dating but the truth is, he doesn’t when he dates Buck since he had a successful poker date with him in 6x13 (related post linked here).

Their conversation inside of the fire engine continued with Buck questioning Eddie about the age he was when him and Shannon started dating. He asked, "Weren’t you guys like in the 12th grade when you met?" and Eddie explained they met when they were in 8th grade but they lost touch then reconnected in the 12th. Everything they said pointed to the fact that Eddie’s looking for something he had in high school but no one, not even Bobby explained he won’t be able to recreate something he had when he was a child especially since the things he once liked may have changed. Even though his found family didn’t explain it to him, the suit he wore in 6x13 and the shirt he wore in 6x18 explained it perfectly and they also alluded to the way his current relationship status with “M” is UNDETERMINED. Before 7x1 aired, RG (the actor who plays Eddie) said in an interview “Eddie’s trying to find out who M is” but based on Eddie’s actions with Buck in the episode, it seems like he already knows👀.

Full disclosure: While live watching 6x18 last season, I literally changed the channel before the episode ended when I saw how the show was once again shoehorning more one-dimensional love interests in for both Buck and Eddie. I didn’t rewatch the episode and I won’t because 6x13 was the finale for me but I had to access it so I could make GIFs for some other posts during the hiatus and when I did, I noticed Eddie’s shirt was navy-blue (this is the Buckley-Diaz Family color related post linked here) while he was talking on the phone to M and I got even more pissed off since it seemed like the show was trying to force the narrative by having Eddie build a family with her. However, after reading RG’s interviews before 7x1 aired, then watching the episode and seeing how everything happened with Chris and his 3 parents, i.e., Eddie, Shannon and Buck (post linked here) and carefully listening to Buck and Eddie’s locker room conversation and M’s ONE LINE, I believe I’ve been able to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Doing so helped me to notice that TM (showrunner) included all the necessary pieces to show that Eddie’s relationship status with M, at the moment, is UNDETERMINED.

Also, to illustrate how I came to this conclusion, I have to give credit where it’s due because I didn’t learn about how plaid clothing works in TV and movie wardrobes until I watched an analysis video for the movie “Clueless” (not only is it one of my favorite movies, it’s also one of the most fashionable movies in history). I watched it during the hiatus because there was nothing on TV and I listened as the creator explained how plaid is a pattern wardrobe stylists use to depict “High School” because it usually reminds people of Catholic school uniforms.

Why is the fact that Eddie wore a plaid suit jacket in 6x13 and a plaid shirt in 6x17 important?

It's important because it explains how he was feeling about dating at those specific points in time. Both his jacket in 6x13 and his shirt in 6x18 were plaid but there’s a major difference between them.

In 6x13, his jacket was part of a full suit and it represented how he’s an adult man with mature tastes. Reminder, he wasn’t nervous at all while he was with Buck and he was the one who had to tell Buck to “Relax”. They were on a DATE which further proves he’s already found the MAGIC & CHEMISTRY he so desperately wants and craves and has been trying to recreate with all those excursions he took when he went to play golf and hike. After 6x14 – 6x18 aired, I wondered why 6x13 aired when it did and I believe it has something to do with the way Eddie views what he’s looking for since he already has it.

But in 6x17, he wore a plaid shirt because it represented the “high school” mentality he had when he was 14 and 18 years old when he dated Shannon. While it appears they were trying to show Eddie doing something for himself with him asking M out on a date, I think someone (*cough* Bobby *cough*) should have explained to Eddie that he was looking for something he had when he was young and it might not exist anymore in the way he remembers it. He could have told him that when they were at the hardware store so Eddie would have REALIZED how he might want something different now that he’s in his 30s and he has a son. Let’s be real here because sometimes things a person wanted when they were in middle and high school are no longer relevant.

To be clear, I didn’t like the way that scene played out and I also didn’t like how they had Eddie acting when he called M. I’ve posted many times about how much I despised the way he was being portrayed as a “giggly teenager” in 6x18 and I still roll my eyes at it because it was not quintessentially Eddie.

Eddie’s always been sexy, suave, debonaire and cool under pressure especially when he’s with Buck. He was also very suave while he was on the blind date with Vanessa in 6x14, so IMO, the show was contradicting itself when it showed Eddie be self-assured on his date with Buck in 6x13 and confident enough to tell Vanessa he wasn’t ready in 6x14 (even though he didn’t get the chance) only to show Eddie acting OOC in 6x18 when he asked M out on a date.

Even though, during their phone call, Eddie was acting like an awkward teenager, after watching 7x1, I realized M was and is doing the same thing Eddie did in 6x18 except hers was cringey and difficult to watch. It’s kind of like before Eddie asked her out, she hadn’t been on a date before which is why she doesn’t know how to act.

In 7x1, she only had 5 or 6 seconds of on-screen time and she had only one line (more on this below) but she was acting just as “giggly” as Eddie had been when he asked her on a date in 6x18 and that shot of them standing together made them look like they were friends who were trying to see if there could be something more.

(Side note: M WASN'T SHOWN SITTING ON EDDIE’S COUCH but Chris’ date Penny was while they were playing video games.)

It appears the show was trying to illustrate how Eddie was trying to recreate the magic and chemistry he had when he was 14 years old again but we should all remember Eddie never had the chance to date in high school. Reminder, his father told him to be the man of the house when he was 10 years old, he got yelled at when he was 12 for setting off the smoke alarm while he was trying to make eggs for the girls, he met Shannon at 14 and they lost touch but reconnected at 18 which was his senior year in high school.

Also, he admitted in 6x16 that after she found out she was pregnant, he suggested they get married and in 7x1, Buck reminded him that she was the first woman he ever had sex with.

In addition to the shirt Eddie was wearing in 6x18, M’s shirt was GRAY (related post linked here) and that’s important because she’s unsure of her role in Eddie’s life which is GREAT because they only agreed to go on a date. Reminder, in 6x14, Eddie told Pepa he couldn't get married which he automatically equated to dating so that speaks volumes too. But also, the shirt she wore in 7x1 was hot pink and the color screamed young, immature and high school. Reminder, in 6x5 when Eddie first saw her and when he saw her again in 6x17, her hair was curly and she wore it in a ponytail. She looked young but it’s evident they straightened her hair in 7x1 and now she just looks like a more matured version of a teenager but still a high schooler, nonetheless.

Back to the regularly scheduled program…

Eddie wants to find what he had with Shannon again but he’s obviously looking through a pair of rose-colored glasses since their relationship was TOXIC AF. All they did was argue and have sex but they didn’t know how to communicate and that could probably be contributed to how young they were when they were together. Also, it appears neither of them had the best example of how a relationship was supposed to work since Ramon was hardly ever home and Eddie spent most of his time with controlling and overbearing Helena 🙄 (I’ll be so glad when he realizes his mother was a huge problem because I’ll never forget her comment, “Don’t drag him down with you Eddie”. I mean who says that to their child?). Also, IIRC, only Shannon’s mother was shown in Eddie’s flashbacks while he was in the well that showed Chris being born in 3x15.

Furthermore, Eddie’s reaction to Ana in 4x6 when he saw her again was like some kind of fairy tale with a princess (Cinderella or Snow White) being pursued by a prince charming while he was on bended knee which could mean that’s the way he thought it was supposed to happen. Buck did the same thing with Natalia in 6x15 and even though he didn’t get down on one knee, he did treat her injured hand the same way Eddie treated Ana’s so there’s that.

Before proceeding, please remember 9-1-1 is very intentional with the words they include in their scripts so everything that's said by the characters likely means something.

Is Eddie doing it for Christopher or for himself?

Let’s find out shall we…

Both Shannon and Ana were focused on the fact that Eddie’s a good and great dad (Shannon’s words) and/or an amazing father (Ana’s words) and so far, M’s comment in 7x1 was focused solely on Chris and not Eddie but I believe it was done on purpose.

In 2x17, Shannon said, “You’re a good dad… you’re a great dad” after Eddie suggested they reconcile so they could be a family again. But she announced she wasn’t pregnant and that it changed things for her even though he said it didn’t for him. She went on to say that she wouldn’t do it again before she was ready because she was still learning how to be “someone’s mother” (not Chris’ mother but someone’s) and maybe someday she would learn how to be “someone’s wife” (not Eddie’s wife but someone’s) then she suggested they get a divorce. Did she love Chris? Yes! And she wrote him a letter but she also included that she would love him from a distance because she didn’t think she was one of the things he needed in his life.

During their conversation, Eddie pointed to Chris and he used him as a shield for his heart the same way he always has. He said, “Being his father taught me more about being a man than war ever did” and reminder, he was looking for a sign to be with her again and he thought her being pregnant was it but she wasn’t.

In 5x3, during their breakup, Ana said, “You’re an amazing father” but here’s another quick reminder, Eddie pointed to Chris instead of himself when he said, “Chris loves you so much”.

He never said he loved her and his response was reminiscent of the conversation he had with Shannon especially since Eddie was looking for someone for Chris instead of for himself. Before the blackout, the audience didn’t see how Ana ended up taking care of Chris but Eddie told Buck that she was a Godsend for taking care of him while he was working. So the question is, did she volunteer to do it like M offered to chaperone Chris’ date in 7x1? Reminder, Carla was back and she helped Buck take care of Chris after Eddie was shot in 4x14 so why was Ana there during the blackout instead of Chris’ home healthcare aide? It’s obvious she still had her apartment and we know this because when Eddie went home, he told her “Maybe you should go home first!”

When Buck told Eddie to breakup with Ana, before he suggested it, Eddie was planning to “stick it out” but when Buck questioned him about it, he responded, “My kid loves her” and Buck asked, “Is that enough?” (I always thought Buck was asking for himself and I think I might have been right.) It was a valid question because earlier in the day, Eddie told the team that Buck takes Chris to the zoo all the time and that he had the whole place memorized. Therefore, it appears the GA was the target for their comments then too since Ana was staying with Chris but no one ever said she did anything other than take care of him during the blackout. Eddie never mentioned her taking Chris to the zoo and she used to be his school teacher so there’s that.

In 7x1, M said, “Your son has game” 🧐 and that was it. That was her one line in the entire 5.689 seconds she was on screen and her comment pointed directly at Chris. IMO, she said it to remind the audience how Eddie has to be with someone who wants to be there for both him and Chris and there’s only one person who fits that description and it’s Buck. Also, she didn’t address Chris by his name and Eddie’s response to her was “Yeah, he has video game”.

Reminder, who exactly has Eddie played video games with and there was sexual tension beforehand? BUCK! And don’t forget, he asked Eddie, “You want to go for the title?”

Also, Buck has ALWAYS focused on Eddie and Chris. Eddie and Buck discussed Chris’s skateboarding in 3x12, his two weeks at summer camp in 3x18, him running away to Buck’s loft in 4x8, Chris’ nightmares in 5x10 along with Chris’ homework in 5x14 and 6x13. These are just a handful of the conversations they’ve had about their son.

Also, in 2x4, Buck told Maddie, “He’s a really great dad” but it’s important to note that Buck’s attention was on helping both Eddie and Chris. He was trying to figure out how to help Eddie so Eddie could get the care he needed for Chris.

Buck’s different from the women Eddie was married to, dated or he’s currently trying to determine what they are because it’s not just Eddie since he has a son which means whoever he dates has to be aware of that fact and they have to be there for both Eddie and Chris. The truth is Chris has viewed Buck to be one of his parents for years (related post linked here).

In 5x17, Ramon asked Eddie if he was working to be better “For Christopher?” but Eddie responded with a head shake of no, then replied, “For myself!” (related post linked here). It appears Eddie’s finally trying to do something for himself but whatever he ends up doing it also has to include Chris. Please don’t misunderstand me because I understand Eddie already knows this but the magic and chemistry he’s trying to recreate is obsolete since he was a literal teenager when he experienced it. He’s a grown man now and the things he wants for himself are different. He was the one who said he was 14 when he met Shannon and 18 when they reconnected but it appears the realization hasn’t registered for him yet. He’s looking for a feeling he had when he was a child but it’s not the same thing as looking for something as an adult.

Shannon’s own admission in 2x17 illustrated how she didn’t want to be there for them since she wanted to leave. Ana’s own admission illustrated how she was waiting for Eddie to love her too but she was willing to be a stepmom to Chris while she waited. It’s still too early to tell what M is going to admit (if anything at all and hopefully she’ll be gone soon so it won’t matter) but based on the way Eddie responded to seeing the picture of Chris and Shannon being face down on his desk and then seeing it face up again after Chris read Shannon’s letter in 7x1, it appears he’ll be making a decision about M really soon because he’s not going to get involved with anyone else he’s not planning to have a future with because if he does and they leave, it will prove Chris’ ideology about women always leaving. Reminder, in 4x8, Buck told Chris “I’m not going anywhere” and he hasn’t.

Buck

Make no mistake, Eddie already has MAGIC, CHEMISTRY, SEXUAL TENSION and everything else with Buck. But the question is, does he know it? I think he does especially since he nodded his head during the kitchen scene like he was down for whatever Buck was offering and I think they may have done more than play video games that night (related post linked here).

In 7x1, Eddie’s face after Buck said he broke up with Natalia was priceless. It kind of looked like he’d been waiting for it to happen and his facial expression was one of pure unadulterated smugness filled with both joy and glee. It looked like he wanted to say, “Ahh $hit, finally I can get my boyfriend back.”

Reminder, EDDIE NEVER SAID HE’S DATING M! Therefore, I don’t believe Eddie and M are dating and if they are, I don’t think it’s serious. During their conversation in the locker room, Buck assumed he was and he was the one who said it but Eddie didn’t respond except for to suggest Buck take Natalia with him for go karting.

Here’s their conversation in text.

Buck: “Uh hey so do you have any plans for the weekend? I was thinking about go karting, there’s a place out in the desert… supposed to be a blast.”

Eddie: “Can’t this weekend. I got a big date. First date.”

Buck: “Uh, I thought everything was going great with Marisol.”

Eddie: “It’s not my date, it’s Christopher’s.”

Buck: “Oh no.”

Eddie: “He invited this girl from his math class, Penny over on Saturday and Marisol agreed to help me chaperone.”

Buck: “I see so it’s actually your date.”

Eddie: 👀 (no response to Buck’s comment and he didn’t say they were dating) “Why don’t you invite Natalia go karting, I’m sure she’d love it.”

Buck: “We uh… we broke up.”

Eddie: 🤪😜🙃😁😊💕

Eddie did not respond to Buck’s comment about it actually being Eddie’s date and Eddie was so slick with his non response that Buck fell right into it and revealed they broke up. Reminder, Eddie didn’t ask Buck to talk to Chris until AFTER Buck admitted he was single. Additionally, Eddie called Buck a “reformed player” which means Buck’s told him he’s no longer Buck 1.0, 2.0 or 3.0 or whatever upgrade of himself he’s up to now. Furthermore, Eddie said M agreed to chaperone Chris’ first date, therefore he didn’t ask her to do it. Buck also said he thought things were going great with M and it was very reminiscent of the way he said he thought things were going great with Ana in 5x2.

The look on Eddie’s face illustrated how he was waiting for Buck to end his relationship with Natalia and now that he has, Eddie might remember the words he told Chimney in 3x13, “Tomorrow is not promised” and he may finally tell Buck that he loves him. But also, don’t forget, Eddie was hurt by that “SHE SEES ME” 🙄 raggedy @ss comment Buck made in 6x15 and I still hope it’ll resurface before they confess their love because that cut him deep, especially since Eddie’s always SEEN him and he still does.

The point of this post is that it's evident Eddie’s been hanging out with M but based on the words he used during his conversation with Buck and RG’s comments during his interviews about Eddie, it appears they’re in an undetermined status of a friendship, relationship or whatever. After reading RG’s interviews, based solely on the things he said in them, I reexamined Eddie’s idea of M and I posted that he didn’t believe things would get too serious with her (related post linked here) and it appears I may have been correct. Since Buck was being SEEN by someone he had just met, it seems Eddie went looking for a friend to hang out and have fun with and Pepa’s response to him in 6x14 about him spending time on Saturdays having a Cafecito along with going antiquing (not too sure about that one but ok) adds further credence to whatever he has with M because he’s supposed to be having fun and I think that’s what they’re doing. RG said Eddie’s instincts have always been to enter a monogamous relationship but right now he’s taking calculated steps. Also, he questioned if Chris is happy for Eddie to be dating M or if he’s actually ok with it. So apparently, the audience will have to wait and see where it goes.

IMO, M is there to point the GA towards Buck’s importance in Eddie’s and Chris’ lives. How will she do that? When the GA sees her, they should ask themselves, why Eddie goes to Buck for coparenting help instead of to the woman he’s dating/hanging out with. It should also cause them to take a closer look at his friendship with her and figure out, "Oh, it’s not serious because if it was, he would ask her for assistance".

Will Eddie end whatever he’s doing with M before 7x5 airs? HOPEFULLY, he will because he already has magic and chemistry with Buck but only the showrunner, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #911 meta #911 spoilers #911 speculation #anti eddiemarisol #anti marisol

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kimpossibly · 1 year

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THE CHAIN -> e. roundtree PART THREE: the six

PAIRING: eddie roundtree x fem!reader WARNINGS: swearing, drinking, drugs, minor injuries, blood, very suggestive content, implied sex (NOTE: some warnings for this story include MAJOR spoilers for this series down the line, so I'll put those beneath the cut. If you don't want to get the story spoiled, then just ignore it ― but I did want to provide the chance for you to get an idea of how the story will go later down the line if you have any sensitive topics you'd like to avoid. please prioritize your mental wellbeing!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I fear I may have screwed up the timeline, but oh well! Hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS (SPOILERS INCLUDED): reader has a life threatening illness. Discussions about death and loss, depictions of grief, hospitals

SEVENEIGHTNINE (1975-1976)

The recording of their first album tested The Six's strength ― not only as a band, but as friends. And Y/n, who had never really been a part of the band during its songwriting process, was quick to realize that there was friction between the same band members again and again. Most notably, Billy and Eddie.

KAREN: Eddie wanted more freedom with what he was playing, Billy thought that since he was the frontman that his word was law...it's the same old story you've heard before. They were in a constant dick measuring contest and neither one of them wanted to admit defeat.

WARREN: Billy was my friend. Eddie was my friend. But when you put them in a room together and told them to make a song, they were the most annoying motherfuckers you'd ever met.

One day after a particularly harrowing songwriting session, the band found themselves back at the house in Laurel Canyon. The place that was usually filled with talk and music was silent, the telltale sign that they had brought work home with them. but what else were they supposed to do? They worked together, they lived together. The lines between work and home were becoming dangerously thin.

Y/n couldn't stand the silence. At her house, there had always been something going on ― her mom would be talking on the phone, someone would come in injured and she'd fix them up. At the very least, she'd keep the television on so she could get a good nights' sleep. But that night it was dead silent. Sickeningly so.

So Y/n got out of bed and wandered into Eddie's room. She didn't acknowledge his presence as she walked in, stopped in place suddenly, and collapsed onto the ground, staring up at the ceiling.

Eddie watched the whole thing from his bed, his guitar in his hands. He expected that maybe she'd say something, start a conversation and whatnot, but she didn't. She just went on, staring at the ceiling as though she had all the time in the world and a perfect reason to be there on the floor.

So he spoke first. "Hi."

"Why can't you just get over things?"

EDDIE: Out of the blue, no hesitation. "Why can't you just get over things?" I knew what she was talking about. Me and Billy had been at each others' throats for weeks, ever since we started writing the damn album. She wanted to know why I couldn't just pack it all in and take the hits as they came.

"Um―"

"Because here's the thing: you guys both have so much pride. Soooooo much. So much it makes me want to slap you guys across the face and remind you that you're human, not gods. And, look, I get it. He walks all over you sometimes and that's not cool. But sometimes it feels like you're pushing back just to be contrarian. Like you don't really disagree with what he's saying, you just disagree with the fact that he's the one saying it. You get my drift?"

EDDIE: Like I said, she doesn't sugarcoat things. She'll tell you what you are and if you don't like it? Tough.

Eddie paused, leaning back. She was right; he knew that much. And maybe he did argue with things just to argue, but so what? They weren't The Dunne Brothers anymore, they were The Six. Implied equal partnership. And still...

"He's thinks it's his band, Y/n."

"Then talk to him about it."

"I can't."

"Why not?" Y/n sat up, a crease formed between her brows.

He wasn't quite expecting that question. But, after a bit of stumbling, he came to what he thought was a reasonable answer: "Because he doesn't listen."

Y/n just looked at him like that was the dumbest thing he had ever said. "Well then make him listen."

"Yeah, alright. and how the hell am I supposed to do that?"

She didn't answer immediately, thinking. Eddie thought for a moment that he might have won.

EDDIE: There wasn't really a way to win an argument with her. Not really.

After a moment she turned to him. "A war isn't just two guys screaming at each other, Ed. They need soldiers, armies. Let me be your army."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like watching you get pushed around. It's kind of...sad."

"Thanks."

"You asked."

They lapsed into silence again. Y/n laid back down on the floor, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. When she spoke again, it was so quiet, Eddie wasn't sure at first if she was talking to him or to herself. "I just...I'm on your side, okay? So don't make it any harder to be."

EDDIE: I never quite got that, you know? "I'm on your side." I had no idea why she'd be on my side. Billy was the frontman, Billy was the guy you looked up to. And there she was, trying to help me out without me even asking. I guess I thought, am I really that pathetic? [Laughs] I probably don't want to know the answer to that. I don't know why she was on my side, I really don't. But it was good to know. Made me feel like, aside from all the melodrama that came with rock n' roll, I had something to hold on to.

By the time SevenEightNine was done, the CEO of Runner Records, Rich Palentino, was not impressed. In fact, in his opinion, the entire collection of songs they had collectively poured their hearts and souls into, did not have a number one single among it. Teddy Price decided to take things into his own hands, and that's when Daisy Jones got involved.

The plan was to take 'Honeycomb' ― a song Billy had written about the life he had promised Camila ― and add a female vocal onto it, a sort of call and response duet.

Needless to say, Billy was not happy about the arrangement.

GRAHAM: He had just gotten back from rehab and was finally making things right with his wife and his daughter, and they wanted to bring a new chick in to "fix" his song. I can see why he was upset. I just think that he could've handled it better.

EDDIE: He threw a fit. So, naturally, everybody tried to do things to appease him. Graham had the idea that Karen could sing the female part.

KAREN: Like I said, I can back up a chorus, but I can't hold my own.

EDDIE: Y/n was thrown into the mix.

KAREN: Eddie put "Y/n" and "solo" in the same sentence and she looked like she was going to vomit. We moved on.

GRAHAM: Eventually Billy got the gist that Daisy was what we needed. At least, Teddy thought so. And Billy would take Teddy's word over his own any day of the week.

BILLY: I thought, "Fine. If this Daisy girl wants to try it, we'll let her try it."

Daisy was brought into the studio within the next couple of days, marking the first time she ever officially worked with The Six. She was generally well received by all its members (except maybe Billy) and found a fast friend in Y/n.

Firstly, they were the closest in age, and, when you're thrown into a new environment surrounded by strangers, that tends to be what you gravitate towards. That, and Y/n had the special ability of getting the boys to shut up long enough to let her do her thing. That was especially important.

DAISY: The first time I got into that studio to record, the rest of the band crowded at the window, staring at me like I was an elephant in a zoo. It was unsettling. I was probably on the verge of yelling to them to give me some room to breathe when I saw Y/n and Karen dragging them out by their collars, kicking them out of the room until they were the only ones left. That meant a lot.

Despite Billy's every attempt to complain, Honeycomb was released featuring Daisy Jones. Billy was stubbornly pessimistic about the whole thing, of course. And by the time the recording and mixing of 'Honeycomb' was done, it was completely different from the song Billy had first pitched. He felt that his vision had been trod upon in a most disrespectful manner, so much so that, when it was first played, start to finish, for the entire band, the walked out the second the record stopped.

They all watched him go with confusion ― the song was good. It was great, even, but Billy hated it so much that he couldn't even stand to be in the same room as it. And this was before Camila started coming to recording sessions, so no one really wanted to follow him out. Especially not Eddie.

So after the door slammed, they all spent a tense few seconds looking around, sharing confused and annoyed looks over Billy's outburst, and when it became clear that no one was going to do a damn thing about it, Y/n sighed and got up. "Looks like I have to do everything around here, huh?"

She found Billy outside, leaning on the hood of his car, staring at the slowly heating pavement in the California sun. He had his hands crossed over his chest, not unlike a kid who had just gotten his toy taken from him. He didn't look up when Y/n stepped outside, but he spoke the moment she was within earshot: "We're not releasing it."

The reply that came back was a sharp, loud laugh from Y/n. "Fuck you, we're not releasing it. It's a good song. Probably the best one we've ever made."

"You don't get it," Billy shook his head, "that's my song that she's singing. Mine. The one that I wrote about my wife."

"It's not about your wife, Billy," Y/n said. "It's an apology to your wife. You asked us all to make it and we said yes, so don't go acting like you're the goddamn puppet master pulling all the strings. You asked us to make the song, and we said yes. And it's our band. Your song, our band. Sometimes we have to make decisions that don't please your every fucking whim because it's our band and we want to take it as far as we can. And this song, Billy? This is how we do that."

He said nothing, continuing to stare at the ground.

"We're releasing it as soon as we can, and the world is gonna lose its fucking mind. At least you can go home and tell your wife that everyone loves her song."

Billy looked up then, some of his scowl melted away. Y/n grabbed him by the wrist, uncrossing his arms and pulling him back towards the studio. "Now the least you can do is go be civil to your bandmates and to the girl who just made us a number one single."

Eventually she succeeded in dragging him back into the recording booth, to the surprise of everyone already there.

"He threw a fit; I told him to shut up and get over himself. So, when can we release it?" Y/n asked, looking to Teddy.

BILLY: Just like that, she told me to get my act together and got me back in that studio. It was a little harsher than it had to be, but it worked. She had perfected the art of making someone realize how much of an asshole they were being at that point. I think she used it most on me. Occasionally Warren. If it weren't for her, I don't know if I would've gotten back in that studio. Because I don't know if anyone else would've walked out to get me.

Just as Y/n had predicted, 'Honeycomb' quickly sailed to the top of the charts. It generated national attention, with the whole world seeming to suddenly ask the question, Who the hell is The Six?

Daisy Jones had singlehandedly brought them to the top, and it pissed Billy Dunne off to no end.

The rest of the band, however, was enjoying their newfound celebrity. Their album, SevenEightNine, came out soon after, putting them on the road for their first tour ever. Daisy was set to be their opening act ― which, again, did not exactly please Billy. But she was a magnet. Where Daisy went, people seemed to follow.

As the days counted down before they left, they did what they knew best: partying. Y/n, in particular, found herself spending increasingly more and more time with Daisy.

DAISY: Not everyone was on board with me having a hand in the band's success, I knew that. But I had a place at the Marmont that had a pool. And back then, that was all it took to be okay in Y/n's book.

―

[The following is a transcription from an interview with Rolling Stone. On June 2, 1975, Jonah Berg sat down with Y/n L/n to discuss the band's recent success and life on the road.]

JONAH: Where do you think you'd be right now? If you weren't in a band, I mean?

Y/N: [Pauses. Smiles] Somewhere in the ocean.

JONAH: No thoughts as to a career?

Y/N: You didn't ask about a career. You asked what I'd be doing right now. And that's it ― I'd be in the ocean. And I'd be in whatever career got me there.

[This marks the end of the transcript.]

―

WARREN: The girl is a fucking fish.

DAISY: She'd go under for as long as she could, come up for a single breath, and go back under again. Over and over and over. You can't get a single word in that girl's ears when she's in the water.

KAREN: Y/n had a habit of getting...obsessed. With people, with music, whatever it was that caught her interest and held it. And Daisy...[pauses] Daisy did that.

EDDIE: I'm not so sure it was a great thing that Daisy and Y/n became friends when they did.

In Laurel Canyon, Y/n was often the first to come home. In fact, whenever another band member stumbled in, they could most likely count on the fact that if they shouted, "Y/n, I'm home!" they'd hear her yell "Good. Go to sleep!" in response. But that night, it was not the case.

After all the band members had returned for the night, Y/n was still at the Marmont with Daisy. Her hair and clothes were still drying from when she had jumped in the pool an hour previous ― well, she either jumped or she was pushed. She couldn't quite remember now.

Dozens of people had crowded around the pool, drinking and doing whatever drugs came their way. More than once, Daisy and Y/n would stop their stroll to knock back some pills passed their way or do a line off a pool table. Y/n started to wonder what time she had to get home when she noticed Oh, the sun is coming up. Has the sun always been that purple?

"Daisy, what time is it?" she asked, looking to her left. But Daisy had disappeared. There was a splash, and suddenly Daisy was floating in the pool with her nicest Caftan dress billowing around her. She looked like some kind of mystical sea nymph, or so Y/n thought.

"DJ!" Y/n yelled at her, catching her attention. "I need to go home."

Daisy, of course, wouldn't hear of it. Parties didn't end until she thought they were over. "No, no come on! Just stay a little longer!"

"I can't, I...we have rehearsal in the morning."

Daisy sighed, splashing somewhat disappointedly. "Mkay. Fine," she sighed, swimming over to the edge, "can you at least help me out?"

She held a hand out, which Y/n took. Stupid decision, of course. Daisy just pulled her into the pool, causing an eruption of cheers around them.

As she hit the water, Y/n briefly thought that she had some reason to be upset with Daisy, but she couldn't quite remember why. Within a moment, all discomfort had disappeared, completely forgotten, and she was perfectly ready to stay as long as Daisy wanted.

That was, until she came up for air and saw Billy standing there at the edge of the pool.

For a moment, Y/n just stared up at him blankly. Then, she splashed water on him. He looked at her in confusion and she explained, "I had to make sure you were really there and I wasn't just making you up."

"Y/n, it's time to go." he said.

"Oooookay," she said slowly. "I'll get a taxi in a little bit."

"No, this isn't some kind of courtesy call. It's time to go now."

Y/n huffed in response, swimming over to the side. She was too tired (or doped up) to argue. Really, Billy's presence reminded her that she had a house with her own bed. And she realized right then how much she really, really wanted to be in bed.

"Who told you I was here?" she said as she attempted to hoist herself out of the pool.

"Eddie did," Billy replied, helping her out. "Something about you not knocking."

"That son of a bitch," she muttered. "Where is he?"

"Back at the house. Asleep."

"I want Eddie. Get him here."

"You'll see him in the morning."

Y/n, not satisfied with that answer, pushed Billy away, anger curling her hands into fists. "I don't need you to tell me what to do, Billy. I'm a fucking adult. I know when I've reach my limits."

Billy looked at her. Mascara and eyeliner had traced gray lines down her face. Her hair and clothes were soaking wet, clinging to her, dripping onto the pavement. For a second, the hardened look on her face reminded Billy of the day she wandered into their garage and stole the drum sticks straight from Chuck's hands. She didn't look much older now than she did then.

"Just get in the goddamn car."

"No."

"Get in the car."

"No!"

"Y/n, you're bleeding."

She looked down suddenly and noticed a deep cut on her right hand. She frowned at it, but didn't seem that surprised at its existence. "That was there when I got here."

Billy more or less forced her into the passenger seat of the car, where she hung her hand out of the window, letting the blood drip onto the pavement rather than onto the seats.

In the less than ten minute drive home, Y/n talked until she was laughing hysterically at her own jokes, stuck her head out the window and howled at the moon, and finally sat in silence long enough that she started to cry.

Eddie woke up that night to a book hitting him in the face. He jolted awake, looking around wildly. And then, in the dead silence of his room, Y/n's voice came from the doorway. "Snitch."

She shut the door after that, and he heard her stumbling footfalls down the hallway.

And while that should've been the last time Y/n partied with Daisy, it wasn't. She went the next night, and the night after that. The knocks on Eddie's wall became less and less frequent until they stopped all together.

Daisy became her favorite pastime.

"You're in love with Eddie, right?" Daisy asked. They were both lying on the ground outside at the Marmont, letting their heads hang over the pool so that only their hair soaked in the water.

At her question, Y/n shot up, her wet hair drenching her back with cold water instantly. "What?"

"Oh, sorry," Daisy said, still hanging there. "I just thought...you know..."

Y/n did not, in fact, know. She turned to Daisy, a crease formed between her brows. "Why would you think that?"

Daisy sat up then, her impossibly long hair acting like a weight that she had to struggle against to sit up. "You're always lookin' at him when you're rehearsing. At a certain point it was like...I could count on the fact that when I walked into the studio, you'd be right next to him."

As Daisy spoke, Y/n felt herself frowning deeper and deeper. Eddie...Eddie was her best friend. That was for sure. He was the one she went to when she wanted to talk to someone.

Three thoughts emerged as Daisy talked.

One: I am not in love with Eddie Roundtree.

Two: I'm in love with Eddie Roundtee.

Three: It's so obvious it's sad.

Daisy kept talking, oblivious to her sudden revelation. "I get it, you know? If you really like him, you should just go for it. He's a nice guy, and he looks at you as much as you look at him."

Y/n excused herself then, claiming she felt sick. Well, that was mostly true ― she did feel sick. But not the type of sick that drinking generally made her. The kind of sick that came from thinking too hard, too quickly.

But instead of coming back, she left the Marmont, walking home with bare feet. She was still dripping with pool water, freezing her ass off the whole way home, but she was too deep in her own head to really realize it.

She made it back just as the sun was starting to come up, falling asleep on the couch rather than in her room. She slept fitfully, waking up every half hour or so thinking she had said something in her sleep that she couldn't take back.

The next night, she didn't go back to Daisy's. In fact, when Eddie heard Y/n's bedroom door shut before midnight, he frowned, wondering momentarily if she had just imagined it. Then, to test the theory, he knocked. It was the tune to the newest song by the Kinks. He didn't think too long about the song, really, he just wanted a response.

For a moment, none came. He waited patiently, silently, for any response. There was none.

Sighing, he settled back down on his bed, deciding that that was the last time he'd knock. There was no point in knocking to no response.

But a few moments later, the response came ― this time at his bedroom door.

He paused, sitting up, part of him wondering if he'd completely imagined it. Either way, he had to check. He got up, leaving his bass on the bed, heading to the door. He opened it and Y/n stood in the doorway, hair still wet from a shower.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi."

And then, before he had the chance to say anything else, she stood on her toes and kissed him. He was so taken by surprise that he practically froze as he kissed her back, only to be unfrozen by her pushing him further into the room and kicking the door shut behind them.

EDDIE: [Pauses. Takes a deep breath] Oh, wow. Um. Yeah, sure. Yes. I did…I did love Camila. But, everyone loved Camila, you know? Maybe it was…at one point I thought maybe…[pauses] it’s not important. The love I had for Camila…it was painful. It was so much stuff that had nowhere to go, so it just sat. Weighed me down. And Y/n was the first person who, I don’t know, made it lighter.

The next morning when Y/n woke up, she was clearheaded for what felt like the first time in years. The sunlight didn't make her head pound, she didn't feel nauseated, and she didn't have to check herself to see if she'd acquired any news injuries from the night before.

When she rolled over, Eddie was there, still asleep. Her lips parted slightly at the sudden reminder that the previous night hadn't been a dream. And the reminder of Eddie's presence next to her reminded her that there were, in fact, several other people in the house.

She sat up and saw Eddie's shirt at the edge of the bed. She reached for it, leaning over and tapping Eddie on the shoulder. "Hey," she said. He stirred a bit. She held up the shirt. "Can I borrow this?"

"'Course." he responded sleepily. "You leaving?"

"Oh, don't worry. I won't be far. Just down the hall" she said with a smile. He laughed slightly at that, and she gave him a quick kiss on the side of his lips. She tried to get up then, but Eddie caught her wrist, pulling her back down to him. He wrapped an arm around her, pressing his lips to hers. She found herself smiling as he kissed her, a chill running down her spine.

Eventually he let her go and she slipped his shirt over her head. She went for the door, pausing before opening it. "We're going to talk about this later, by the way."

Eddie frowned. "What's there to talk about?"

She paused, thinking. "Maybe talk is the wrong word for it."

She gave him a sly smile, causing him to roll his eyes and bury his head in his pillow. She laughed quietly, opening the door as quietly as she could and shutting it behind her. And as she went to walk into the hallways, she saw Warren standing there, a beer can in one hand.

WARREN: She looked at me with this doe in headlights look, and I just knew she was going to ask, so I told her before she had the chance.

"We have thin walls."

WARREN: Man, the look on her face right then. [Laughs] Priceless. I was so drunk the night before, I didn’t hear shit, but one look at her—the messy hair, the smudged makeup—you just knew. I was happy for ‘em. For once it felt like I wasn’t waiting for the shoe to drop, you know? It just…dropped. I was happy for them.

Y/n said nothing to him, simply turning and walking away, causing Warren to chuckle to himself.

Billy and Camila moved out of the house in Laurel Canyon soon thereafter, wanting to have a home to call their own. That left the more, well, irresponsible band members to themselves.

One day, Warren returned to the house to find Graham, Karen, Eddie, and Y/n on the back porch, slumped in chairs, staring at the air in front of them like they were waiting for something.

"What are you guys on and can I have some?"

WARREN: It was mescaline, because of course it was.

"How long does it take to kick in?" Warren asked.

Karen shrugged. "Depends on the person."

A few seconds later, Warren suddenly stood up, stumbling slightly. "Whoa..."

Y/n giggled, then frowned. She moved her head back and forth, side to side, like she was weighing it. "Guys, my head is getting really heavy. Too heavy. How much should my brain weigh? Can brains gain weight? Do I have an overweight brain and I didn't notice it until now?"

"If you had an overweight brain, you wouldn't have failed math." Warren said. "Now, I-I feel on a molecular level, you know, like me and the canyon, we are..." he trailed off, then clapped, "Ha! No, we're the same, man."

Karen laughed. "Warren and Y/n are feeling it, clearly."

Graham laughed, and then suddenly he went slack, eyes wide. "Oh shit..." he put his hand over his stomach, "I can't feel my heart."

As Karen went to make sure his heart was actually beating (which, of course, it was ― he was just looking in the wrong place for it), Y/n turned her attention to Eddie. He was staring at his hands like it was the first time he was seeing them. She looked at her own, waving them in the air like she was trying not to hurt the air.

Y/n and Eddie had kept their, well, for lack of a better word, tryst, from the rest of the band members. Except, of course, Warren who had found out completely by mistake. As Y/n inspected her hands, she let one fall to the side, landing on Eddie's thigh.

He looked at her, eyebrows raised. She bit her lip to hide a smile.

"No, Graham, it's there."

"Karen, I can't feel my heart. It's gone, man."

Y/n slid her hand further up his thigh, trying her best not to giggle at the way he tried to keep his cool under her touch.

"Can-Can we call a doctor or something?"

"Graham. Move your hand up."

Graham frowned, looking down. Then moved his hands to the correct place and, upon feeling his heart beating steadily underneath his palms, sighed in relief. "Oh. Thanks."

Eddie suddenly stood up, startling all of them. Without a word, he took Y/n by the hand, pulling her back inside. Y/n giggled then, already going to unbutton her shirt.

Karen and Graham watched them go in confusion. "What the hell is up with them?" Graham asked as the door shut behind them.

Warren just raised his half empty beer can in their direction. "L'Chaim," the declared, then drank it all in one sip.

Thanks to Honeycomb, The Six had been put on the map. They were touring for their first album with Daisy Jones as their opening act. It was on that tour that they all got their first taste of real fame of screaming crowds and fanatic fans.

Towards the end of the tour, the decision was made that Daisy would join the band, and they would soon become known as Daisy Jones & The Six. After the tour, they were on their way to creating their first album with Daisy on the team.

EDDIE: Things were perfect. Well, I didn’t think they were perfect at the time. I still wasn’t getting along with Billy, I didn’t feel like I had any creative control, I basically felt like a second-class citizen even though I had been there from the beginning. But I had Y/n, and the band was successful. If I had been able to put down my pride and look at my life from a couple steps back, I probably would have thought, damn…this ain’t bad. I never really guessed how bad things would go downhill after that.

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#eddie roundtree x reader #daisy jones and the six #daisy jones & the six #daisy jones and the six fanfiction #daisy jones & the six fanfiction #eddie loving #eddie roundtree #billy dunne #graham dunne #karen sirko #camila dunne #warren rhodes #warren rojas

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occultic-luna · 2 years

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS II

Welcome everyone to my second Astro observations. Thank you for all the love on my first one : )

DO NOT STEAL OR PLAGIARISE. GIVE CREDITS.

Here we go : )

✨🌙 Why aren’t inconjunctions talked about enough? They are seen as minor placements but in my opinion can be so intense. If your inconjunctions also known as quincunxes are around 2/3 degrees they really do play a visible part in your life.

✨🌙 Scorpio Mercury and being friends or socialising with shady people. I know someone with this placement and they can literally give me a list of people involved in shady business. How do y’all know these people? 😭

✨🌙 Sag placements and thighs 🥵 it’s a stereotype I know but boi it’s true. Doesn’t help that sag rules the thighs and the legs lol.

✨🌙 Why does every Capricorn dom man give such daddy vibes pls. Oh wait the Saturn influence lol.

✨🌙 A yod in a birth chart is very intense, Princess Diana had one. These individuals have and feel like they have a very specific purpose in life and are usually remembered and known for years and years after their death.

✨🌙 Chiron in cardinal signs especially Capricorn may have had to mature quicker than normal for their age to handle all the responsibilities that were forced on them.

✨🌙 Saturn in 2nd house, how’s your bank account doing? Or exactly how restricted are your finances?

✨🌙 Pluto in 8th house are very mysterious people, their life experiences have made them closed off and they never really reveal their true selves. These people also take an interest in the occult and even psychology from a pretty young age.

✨🌙 Neptune or Jupiter even Moon in the 12th house can give the native prophetic dreams.

✨🌙 Moon in the 1st house always look like they’re seemingly lost in a world beyond the physical. They also have prominent eyes majority of the time.

✨🌙 Neptune in angular (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) house individuals never truly feel understood by the type of people that house is ruling. For example Neptune in 10th house can be projected onto a lot by the people at work, this includes positive and negative projections. They are also likely to end up in careers involving healing and the arts since it involves the 10th house. Neptune in 1st can be projected onto a lot because of their looks and the persona they show to the public. Neptune in 7th can never truly feel understood by their romantic partners. Neptune in 4th can be projected onto by their relatives.

✨🌙 Saturn conjunct Mercury… How many times have you been made to feel like your opinion on things were invalid? Even by authoritative figures in public and/or family?

✨🌙 The aspects made by from Saturn and North Node really show what it is you need to learn in this lifetime. For example Saturn aspecting Venus, learning to appreciate the finer things in life and finding out what exactly makes you the happiest etc

✨🌙 Scorpio moon really do feel a lot, but if they have earth placements especially sun they learn to mask their emotions and bring out a cold exterior.

✨🌙 People tend to take advantage of the calm nature of a Taurus moon, it takes a lot to get these people triggered but once you do…. You must have really not treated them well. These people can be one of the most loyal individuals and it takes a lot to make them leave you.

✨🌙 Another note, there’s a stereotype surrounding Taurus moons that they have it easy and were provided with the material comfort etc…. It really depends on other placements and degrees and houses matter a whole lot. A lot of Taurus moons I know suffer from eating disorders because they were made to feel like they were bad for eating “a lot” or “not enough.”

✨🌙 Sun and mercury in 3rd house, how boastful are your sibling(s) especially your younger one(s)?

✨🌙 Neptune aspecting ascendent, literally every Neptune person I’ve met has such an ethereal and otherworldly aura surrounding them.

✨🌙 You can never really fully hide anything from a Scorpio. They’ll dig deep till they find what it is they’re looking for.

✨🌙 Virgo sun Cancer moon, these people are really intuitive lie at your own expense.

✨🌙 Why are all Aquarius mars men that I know shorter than the average height? Someone explain please. Like it’s not fair on them.

✨🌙 Water sign in the 3rd house can make for a great singer. Their voice can bring out a lot of emotions from people and strong emotions too.

✨🌙 Some people think Libras aren’t go getters and just use their charm all the time. From what I’ve seen y’all need to remember Libras too are a cardinal sign. Yes they are ruled by Venus and can be very charming individuals but they are also go getters, compared to the other cardinal signs though it’s more subtle. People don’t usually see it coming.

✨🌙 Saturn in 11th house could indicate being bullied and feeling alienated. Even Uranus, although Uranus is at home here it still is a planet that has the same connotations as the 11th house, so this can manifest as someone who feels like they’ve always been left out by society. Extra points if it’s in Aquarius.

✨🌙 Neptune aspecting Mercury, either the handwriting can be so sophisticated or all over the place depending on the type of aspect. These people can also be naturally great at art.

✨🌙 Mars in the 6th house… How obsessed are you guys with working out? I know people in Mars 6th that are totally obsessed with it.

✨🌙 Chiron in 9th house could indicate being bullied for expressing your culture. I know people with this placement and they were literally bullied for bringing home made food into school, and by their own people too. At one point they even stopped eating at lunch, they even hid it from their parents 😭. But they eventually learn that there is no shame in expressing your culture and heritage.

✨🌙 Chiron is the wounded healer, it is where we hurt the most but eventually we grow from it and we help ourselves and others.

This is it for now thank you for reading! I’m always open to feedback! See ya ✌️

Love Luna ✨🌙

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uzis-dopeaf-hat · 27 days

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Analysis of Episode 7

[MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW]

So I wanted to talk about the latest episode of MD and it's really hard to find people to talk about this with (surprisingly?) and the one discord I joined was a bit of a mess so I'm just gonna come here and try to word vomit cohesively.

Wanna start by saying that yes, even though V is no longer in the intro, I HIGHLY doubt she's dead or gone for good. I think the new intro is likely just the start of a new arc or progression of the story. We aren't supposed to know what happens to her, so they're taking any signs of normalcy of her being present away. They could have also just wanted a new intro in general (which I love!).

I would be incredibly surprised if she was permanently gone. I guarantee she has a clone like it's stated J (stated in episode 6) and N (mentioned in this episode by Cyn herself) have.

What I can see happening, however, is V not being the same as before. If the V from the last episode is damaged beyond repair, Cyn will need to get a new clone out for her. Cyn states in this episode that she keeps their personalities. So I doubt V would act like herself from before her DD days (though I did play around with the thought). I can see something happening where Cyn tries to delete the memory files of V interacting with Uzi and the events leading up to here and now. I'm not sure how practical this would be depending on how long they're planning on making the season finale be. I feel it would be easier to just have someone retrieve her or try fixing her (unless she is fighting this entire time, which again we don't know, anything is possible). If it is the case of attempted memory deletion, I don't think Cyn will be successful. I'll come back to this later.

It's revealed that the one chained up in the trailers is in fact Nori, who seems to be taken over by the Absolute Solver, or Cyn. It seems that the company is actually trying to remedy the mistakes of their former colleagues on Earth. They have created a patch that is located in a USB drive inside what looks to be a crucifix.

There seems to be a huge religious aspect, though it is not apparent why. Our researcher Ridley here seems to be wearing a Mitre Hat typically worn by bishops. I'm not sure if they're meant to be wearing a specific type of miter, but it resembles an auriphrygiata worn during celebrations of the sacraments. If we were to put whatever is happening here under one of those sacraments, I'd say the closest would be an Anointing of the Sick (meant to help various states of sickness in religious ways such as prayer). I think a big part of the religious aspect may be superstition on JCJenson's part, but considering what we see of Cyn being a seemingly eldritch being, I can't blame them.

"LAB SPACE FOR RENT LEASED RSCH012 - 'CABIN FEVER' PRIME CATHEDRAL REAL ESTATE"

So obviously this is partly a joke, with a cathedral underground being for rent and all.

But a catholic church is where some sacraments are held. Once again I'm not sure why they believe they need this space, but I doubt Glitch would pick this setting "just because." (or maybe they would, you tell me)

Alice refers to Uzi as a "witch" in episode 6, saying she's dealt with them before, and then immediately stating that "she hasn't seen 002 since she's left us to die."

Cathedral churches had many reasons for existing, but one small purpose they served was to ward off evil, specifically witches.

A pentangle was one of many symbols used to deter witches or anything thought to be an evil entity. The candles surrounding them are likely meant to be Votive Candles, meant to seek help from the saints.

Of course, it also seems to be a giant magnet which may have helped them more than the candles in this situation. This is about all I have for this episode regarding the huge religious themes (aside from the episode literally being called "Mass Destruction.")

Our intern Mitchell seems to realize something is wrong after grabbing Yeva (aka 048). I am unsure if these revelations make a huge difference in the outcome of events. It seems that when Yeva does save Nori from The Absolute Solver with the USB drive, they are intimately aware of how dangerous it is, as Nori seems to want her to chop her arm off when they realize the solver is going out of control. These events explain what happens to Copper-9 as the planet's core implodes in on itself, creating a huge crater in the planet. The rest we know: the planet freezes over and only the drones remain.

We cut to who we now know is Nori, in her - as I'll call it -her "Heart" form. It seems she is searching for the correct cross shown with the USB and has been all this time, only supposedly finding it in this episode. We can presume she finds it after running into N since she tosses a cross away after inspecting it and not seeing any resemblances to the crucifix in the video. She has the correct one later when she runs into N, so the only time she could have found it was between her leaving to enter the mineshafts and her actually finding the DD.

I won't be going too much into the dynamics of all the relationships in this post, but I definitely will make a separate post for those (feel free to ask for some as well) -- so I won't focus on any in-depth character analysis here unless I believe it needs to be mentioned for this post to make sense.

After "Tessa" and unfortunately N scare off Uzi, N is trapped inside the collapsed mineshaft with his human counterpart nowhere to be found. Likely because of the list she needs to find and confronting Doll.

It is also revealed shortly after that Thad and Lizzie seem to be looking for someone, most likely the person being V. I've seen some points where it could be possible V sent out a signal, which may explain why this just suddenly happens. I wouldn't be surprised either if she found a way to send a signal to Khan as well -- unless he suddenly decided to be a good father and look for Uzi (who apparently seemed to be last on his list of reasons for disliking DD's) I think he got some sort of clue as to what was happening from V or another outside source. We already know he went through Nori's closet along with Uzi's blueprints for her railgun to get information.

Back to N, Cyn reveals that she lets his team keep their personalities because of him. Whether or not this is true is unclear, as she manipulates N and many others to sway things in her favor. It's almost as if she sees them as playthings for her entertainment.

When she shows N a memory from before, seemingly right after or around Earth's destruction, we can see a symbol come across his face.

"ACCESS DENIED CONTACT ADMIN 'DARKXWOLF17'"

I know many people have already seen this, but I believe that Uzi has either intentionally put a safety guard on both N and V from episode 5, or that she has unintentionally done this.

It would make sense if she made the active decision to do this, to prevent The Absolute Solver from trying to hijack V or N again. This is why I believe if Cyn were to try to erase or tamper V's memories, she'd run into Uzi's failsafe. I don't think she'd exclude V from her protection, but we really don't know V's fate for sure until episode 8.

N finally runs into Nori, and as previously mentioned she now has the correct cross. She mentions he looks familiar. It's not because he's a Disassembly Drone, she already mentions this fact a few lines prior. I still believe there is huge potential for N to have killed Nori. It seems to be long ago since neither seem to really recognize each other beyond Nori's statement.

DDs don't vary too much in model, aside from 'female' versus 'male' models. Along with that, the two had much more important events happening in their lives, and N looks vastly different in his "murder" state as opposed to his normal one.

We don't know what exactly happened to Nori that had her ending up down here. I have a speculation that she likely wasn't down in the research labs the entire time, or else she likely would have found the Patch much sooner.

Something I want to point out about Heart Nori is her attire.

She is seen wearing something akin to a mourning hat (aka a widow's cap). Clearly, she is alive (and she seems to be confident of Khan's state), so why exactly is she wearing this? The veil is meant for privacy for a woman's emotions while grieving, so what is she grieving?.

It could be Nori is grieving the life she once had or the life she could have had before Cyn came and destroyed it. She is mourning herself and her losses while trying to remedy them. I think the veil also symbolizes that she will likely be closed off to others, hence why she is so crass and straight to the point. Perhaps in the next episode, it will be removed when she potentially confronts Uzi.

It's clear Nori believes all the bad things in her daughter's life are because of her, as she states "I caused every horror in her life." But she doesn't just sit and wallow in her sorrows, she decides to remain pragmatic and address the situation as best as she can with her knowledge.

Back with Cyn, or "Tessa" as she claims to be, she is seen walking through the same area shown before where Yeva resided. It seems the drones experimented on were chained up for precautions, as we also see several magnets on each drone's head. One of the drones even seems to have its teeth out and oil-coated on them.

We see her entering into JCJenson's "Project Cabin-Fever Database" to find the list she had previously mentioned.

I won't lie, this part perplexes me. Cyn apparently wants to take these drones (and presumably any connected drones) down. I'm unsure if it means just the top two or the entire list. Does "corrupted" infer that the specific drone didn't survive The Solver? Or that The Solver actually worked on them? I'm assuming "No Effect" means exactly that: The Solver had no effect on them when trying to "infect" them with it.

Cyn purges the list after viewing this, perhaps because it says "PATCH.2.1.8" next to Yeva. She doesn't want anyone to find out about the patch. She presumes that both Yeva and Nori are dead, so this not being true doesn't contribute to the fact she purges this list.

Purging the list also seems to purge the entire room, as shortly after confirming the process the area explodes to pieces.

We have an interesting encounter with Cyn and Doll here. Doll obviously believes she is talking to a human, and she asks about the patch. Presumably, she knew about this patch for a long while, just needing the key bug that Uzi found in episode 4 to obtain it since it was located somewhere underneath Cabin Fever Labs. Apparently, Cyn also needed this key bug, as it seems she couldn't gain access with just Tessa's skin suit. She knew about the patch from her previous encounters with Nori and Yeva, so her goal was to destroy it.

She tells Doll she essentially doesn't need her to go through with her plans, insinuating it's already too late to stop Cyn. Of course, Doll doesn't know this and is attacked by Cyn's true form after this short altercation.

This is startling (not referring to the jump scare, though it did its job), as Cyn knows that she's close to completing her goal. She doesn't need Doll at all, she is just another obstacle to eliminate (which she does so gleefully).

We see the results of Cyn's attack on Doll. "Tessa" shows up quickly after, and uses that as a guise to kill Uzi. I don't think this is purposeful, as N and Uzi are already separated and unless Cyn knows N is approaching doesn't need to use Doll's death as an excuse to blame and kill Uzi.

Perhaps this bought Cyn more time if N showed, but I find it more likely as a happy accident, as N finds "Tessa" before she's about to pierce Uzi's core.

Although, I don't think Cyn actually expected N to kill "Tessa." I believe she thought that N and Tessa's relationship was too sturdy to have N ever consider hurting her, let alone beheading her. Along with the fact that Cyn no longer knows N as well as she previously did, especially since he met Uzi, she seems to have miscalculated N's priorities.

The following fight deserves a post of its own, along with the analysis of N and Uzi's relationship, so I won't go too deep into it now.

So skipping that entire section (for now) let's jump back to Cyn. After Uzi and N's hug session, we see Cyn take Doll's body, proceeding to eat the girl's heart (which is seen writhing before being consumed). We can assume that the host is not necessarily dead until their heart is destroyed -- likely a big reason Cyn gave the Disassembly Drones so many offensive tools and the capability to consume Worker Drones: she wanted to create as many opportunities as possible to prevent a heart from surviving.

This may also explain why Nori survived, and why Yeva is presumed to be dead. Unfortunately, this means Doll is gone for good.

Cyn is labeled as what looks to be 001 (or 1001). We know she's not labeled as one of the experiments on Copper-9, but what was she the first model of? A normal worker drone? She was at the very bottom of a huge trash pile in episode 5, so this plays out if she was one of the very first models, especially one that may have been disposed of improperly early on.

It's obvious that the Absolute Solver existed before Cyn, but was this the first time it was able to successfully claim a host? It seems that The Absolute Solver and Cyn are one, and always have been since Cyn reawakened. Humans must have had evidence of The Solver existing beforehand though, since Cyn was marked with an armband here.

Something else to note about episode five...

Other drones in this scene were also labeled 001 (or 1001) So I am assuming it's more of a batch number if anything.

Back to episode 7, it seems that Cyn had been in Tessa's skin for a long time. She likely died with the rest of the humans in the manor. It is intriguing how the skin hadn't rotted off, but let's assume that Cyn's Solver helps create flesh to keep up appearances and keep Tessa's skin... fresh. This can help explain the blood coming from "Tessa" in episode 6 when she's bitten by a Sentinel.

It seems that Cyn intends to consume both N and Uzi after revealing herself. She states that she's "Honestly starving," before disappearing down the flesh chasm made long ago.

We see Uzi after her sacrifice... somewhere seemingly in space. Let's assume that this isn't some sort of vision/dream/hallucination she's seeing and that Cyn isn't manipulating Uzi's surroundings.

What she's seeing is Copper-9 from outside the planet... this isn't a flashback, nor is it the planet exploding. Remember Copper-9's core imploded on itself and sent bits of the planet out, hence why everything there is frozen over. I think she's seeing the core of (or supposedly the lack-there-of-one) Copper-9 here.

What is the core supposed to be here then? I'm not sure if it's meant to be similar to Earth where the core is made up of extremely hot metals. But with it exposed there's less pressure to help keep the core from melting (again, assuming it has a similar structure to Earth).

Copper-9 is no longer habitable for humans, so the existence of these metals in the core doesn't make sense.

Let's take a look at the scene before this.

Me and a few others played with the idea that Uzi fell into a black hole at the bottom. While I think a fun theory, I don't think that makes sense. The yellow sparks likely have something to do with The Absolute Solver, and Uzi ending up hundreds (thousands?) miles away from Copper-9 and her loved ones.

The way the light sparks reminds me of when Doll would teleport from place to place. I think Uzi may have been teleported away by Cyn since it seems Cyn was planning on consuming both her and N. It may have been a fluke on Cyn's part, though of course, we won't know for a while. Maybe Nori was able to manipulate The Solver in some way to prevent Uzi's death. Or perhaps Nori is also going to be in space scavenging or trying to determine a way back to Copper-9.

That's all I have for now. I'm planning on making a separate post for N and Uzi in this episode specifically at some point, along with some other character analysis and some final moments for others.

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 2 months

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I can see the inconsistency of Felix character is because he actually a character for there "Fans demand" :

Sooo you prefer 2D-Catnoir/Felix rather than our angel Adrien ? Here Felix ! He official debut in "Felix" ! He is Adrien cousin and a big jerk ! Hate him just like how I hate him too !

Wh- What ? You like him ? Fuck ! So you feel he is more competent that our pure evulz bitch teenagers ? Fine ! Here's Felix who manage to trick Gabriel in "Gabriel Agreste" ! Now He is as dangerous as Gabe

Oh Fuck ! You still like him and feel he is more "relevant" than our angel Adrien and my sweetie Marinette ? Here's I present YOU Felix join Miracuclass as "Dog Hero" and then sell all the Miraclouses to Gabe ! He is Evil ! EVil ! EVIIIIL !

What ? You asking me why he want Peacock Miraculous so much ?! Here I present you Felix as Argos ! He wiped humanity out-of-spite and try to create the Utopia for his own freedom ! He is misanthrope !

What A second ? Why... You... STILL.... EXPECTED... CHLOE... TO BE REDEEMED.... why she already... has many traits... to be put in "Complete Monster" territory ? Why YOU keep want her to be redeem like Zuzu and Pacifica just because having shitty parents ? FINE ! Here's Felix to be our Zuzu ! He is tragic little peacock... has tragic backstory.... shitty dad... and a handsome teenager.... pretty much like Zuzu right ? Now shut up and Go simp on him and Feligami already !

Proper redemption arc ? Who hell need redemption arc as long as he is "tragic and handsome" ? Don't worry... we will make Kagami as "senti" out-of-nowhere aside she wear different ring as excuse and a "horny possessive girl" who still can't move on from Adrien and make her Simp felix because he smell and looks like Adrien RIIIIIIIIIIIGHHT LOL

Honestly, it is pretty hilarious that Felix was meant to be seen as the actual character who went through a serious redemption arc compared to Chloe, when the writers pretty much speedran through every major part of it in time for the finale.

Like, say what you will about Chloe and whether or not you think she deserved to be redeemed, but at least the arc leading to her betrayal was spread across three seasons. Felix's redemption arc only lasted three episodes.

Because of the poor pacing, this is the character journey Felix goes through during the latter half of Season 5.

Emotion: "I'm going to wipe out all of humanity and create a better world! Wait, you think I'm insane for erasing your friends and family from existance while essentially committing mass genocide? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

Pretension: "Even though I've spent almost no time with you, I think I'm falling in love with you because you may be a Sentimonster person with strict parents like me. Of course, I don't love you enough to break my new moral code against using Sentimonsters or even answering for my betrayal of Ladybug."

Representation: "I'm finally going to do something to help Ladybug because her arch-enemy is getting in the way with my week-old relationship, and that moral code against Sentimonsters? I don't want to use Sentimonsters to fight, but using Sentimonsters to put on a play to convey information I could easily tell Ladybug myself, since my new girlfriend conviently learned her identity over ten episodes ago? Perfectly okay. And since I have a personal stake by wanting to protect both my cousin and girlfriend, surely, this means I'll get to play a big part in the season finale instead of just letting Ladybug do all the work, right?"

Conformation and Re-Creation:

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #felix graham de vanily #argos #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #chloe bourgeois #queen bee #queen b

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luckyladylily · 8 months

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So a bit ago there was a post going around saying Tumblr were scabs for advertising One Piece. That post now has reblogs off, but from that there is something I think still needs to be addressed. To summarize, I made a reblog saying that is incorrect and the strike did not call for tumblr to not advertise, to which someone responded this:

I think this kind of thinking needs to be addressed, because it is happening a lot and its a bit of a problem. This is the response I wrote but was unable to post, it illustrates my point:

So, near the start of the strikes some people who were not the leadership of either union started calling for boycotts of netflix, disney plus, etc. The leadership of the guilds actually had to come out and say that this is not what they wanted, that boycotting these companies was not part of their strategy and could hurt their strategy depending on how things developed. They left the possibility of boycotts in the future, but not now.

Obviously, this is not directly applicable. But it does demonstrate a point: We should look to the leadership of the strike for direction on what action should be taken, not our own guesswork as to what is best for the strike, because we may inadvertently hinder the strategy currently in play.

Now, I can see why you assumed the position you are taking. It seems obvious at first glance that if they don't want actors or writers creating advertisements, then they probably don't want anyone creating advertisements.

Except that might not be the case. I can think of one major possibility off the top of my head, that they want to show that actors and writers specifically are invaluable to the advertising effort. If Netflix tries to advertise without guild members and they can see how badly that effort fails, that gives them leverage in negotiations. If we prevent Netflix advertising at all, they don't get that leverage.

Of course, both of us are purely working off of gut feelings and guess work. We don't know the details of their strategy and frankly there is little reason for them to give it to us, especially since that would tip their hand to the studios. Our part in this strike is to follow the guidelines they have given us, not second guess those guidelines, extrapolate from them, or otherwise come up with our own ideas about what is best.

Now I know we are all really excited about this strike, we all want it to succeed. Because we are excited we want to do things about it. But our part in this strike has been very clearly laid out. So the second they call for a boycott, I'll be canceling my subs. The second they want me to give shit to tumblr for advertising One Piece I will be writing some very strong feedback messages. But until then I am going to assume that the leadership of the strike are making certain moves (and not making certain moves) for a reason.

#wga strike #sga strike #don't go finding that person and be mean to them #I shouldn't even have to say this but I feel like if I don't people will go be jerks to someone just trying to do their best #if a bit misguided

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kaleldobrev · 10 months

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A Small Part of You

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Although Dean is gone, at least you’ll always have a part of him

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Descriptions of depression, Talks of death

Authors Note: Fic takes place between season 7 and season 8 | Flashbacks are in italics | THIS ONE IS A REAL TEARJERKER | Reader is 21+ | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

“Dean?” You asked, trying your best to make your voice sound calm and even, even though you were nervous and deathly afraid for what was going to happen tomorrow. After everything, you, Sam, and Dean were going to go face to face with Dick Roman; and you knew, along with the two boys, that this was probably going to be the last thing you guys ever did. It was a suicide mission; but it was a mission that would be saving millions of lives.

“Yeah?” Dean asked, trying to match the evenness of your voice. “What’s up Sweetheart?” He already knew what you were going to say.

“About tomorrow. Um. If, um, if things go...if things go according to plan...” You struggled to get your sentence, even though you had it perfectly rehearsed in your head moments before. You cleared your throat, looking Dean in the eyes. “If things go according to plan tomorrow, you, me, Sam...We’re all going to die right?”

Looking at each other, you and Dean shared a similar expression: fear mixed with sadness with a hint of realization. It was strange the way you were feeling, because so many times before, you have looked into the face of death (literally and figuratively) and had no problem with the idea that you may die in a horrible way. You were a hunter after all; hunters usually don’t get happy endings nor do they get to retire. A hunters life was a sad one, a lonely one usually. Most of them going out in some horrible way by some monster that they killed hundreds of times before. With every job you took, you knew it could be your last; and you were fine with that because at the end of the day you saved people – people were alive because of you. But, something that had never occurred to you – not until a couple of years ago anyway – is that you have in fact died before; and so have Sam and Dean. Countless times, in unimaginable ways. But, Joshua was the one that always brought you three back stating that it was “God’s orders” to bring the three of you back. But this time, this time felt different. There was a strong nagging thought in the back of your brain that kept saying, “Next time you die, you’re staying dead.” For the first time in your life since you were a kid, you were actually afraid to die.

“Yeah. That’s um…that’s the plan.” Dean let out an uncomfortable chuckle. He was feeling similar to the way you were. He was nervous and scared for tomorrow. Yes, he wanted to take down Roman, but he didn’t want to have to die in order to do it. There was a part of him, a part of him that had slowly started to engulf him over the years ever since his dad died: why did he have to be the one to do this? Before his mom died he had dreams of his own, had wanted to be a firefighter – a desire that become stronger after his mother died. He actually did want to go to college, as strange as that may sound, and that was something he had thought about sometimes, wondering what he would have majored in. As much as he loved this job, as much as he loved saving people, it was never his initial choice – this life, this job was picked for him. He thought about how unfair that was, how he never got the chance at a normal life, how Sam barely did either.

You started playing with your fingers. “I’m scared.” You voice sounded so faint.

“Me too Sweetheart.” Dean said, before briefly sighing.

“One last time?” You asked, your voice slightly breaking now as if you were trying your best not to cry.

“Yeah. One last time.” Dean gave you a small pained smile before leaning down and kissing you.

One Month Later…

Before everything went down with Dick Roman, you fully expected to die, were even prepared to die. Although you were scared to, you knew that it would end up saving millions of people; that’s why you loved being a hunter. You got to save people, and help people have lives they might not have had otherwise if you hadn’t saved them from some monster. You didn’t know if you were going to be going to Heaven or Hell once you died; you had hoped Heaven because of all the good you did saving people, but at the same time, you also wouldn’t have been surprised if you did end up in Hell considering all of the bad you did too. Either way, you knew that you’d at least have maybe one or both of the boys with you so you wouldn’t be so alone. In the end though, you didn’t end up dying. Neither Sam or you did but, Dean was gone; and for the past month, it felt like you were in your own special place in Hell.

The last month has been a real blur but at the same time it felt like it was dragging on; the days started to blend together. You had sought out the comfort of your bed, your parents had let you and Sam spend some time there after everything that had happened. Although they weren’t hunters themselves, they knew about the life because of you. It wasn’t a life that they wanted for you, but understood why you did it; why you had to do it.

For the past month you barely got out of bed. For about a week or two, your parents and Sam tried their hardest to try and get you out of your room to do things. Asking you to accompany them grocery shopping or going for a short walk around the neighborhood. But all you said was, “No thanks,” and just rolled over, covering your head with the sheets.

“Dean wouldn’t want you to be like this.” Sam said, this statement causing you to uncover your head with the blankets. “We have to be strong...We have to be strong for him.”

“I’m so tired. I don’t have the energy to be strong anymore.” You told him. “I just want to be left alone right now.” You covered yourself with the sheets again.

After two weeks of asking, Sam and your parents almost forced you out of your room for your own benefit; so you could take a shower, so you could eat something that was more filling then crackers, to socialize even for a few moments. But when you did eat something though, that was more than crackers, it was hard for you to keep the food down, the nausea that you felt was too overwhelming.

“Sweetheart, you have to eat something.” You mother said, handing you a bowl of chicken noodle soup and some saltine crackers.

“I have been. I’ve been eating crackers.” You told her.

“You need something more than crackers.” She pushed the bowl toward you placing the spoon in the bowl.

“Mom, the last thing I want is chunky soup. I feel nauseous just looking at this.” You explained pushing the bowl away from you.

Your mother sighed. “Okay, fine. At least eat the saltines then.”

The toilet bowl and the cool tile floor of the bathroom had become a second home to you when you weren’t in your nice, warm bed.

“Couldn’t keep the saltines down this time?” Sam asked rubbing your back as you had your face over the toilet.

You shook your head. “No.” You simply said, flushing the toilet.

Sam got up and walked toward the bathroom door. “I’ll go grab you some water.”

You tried your best to smile at him. “Thanks Sam.”

“Of course.” He smiled back.

Although you didn’t have Dean, you were happy to at least have Sam and your parents still. Your parents didn’t fully know what you were going through, but they understood the type of pain that you were in.

“When my mother lost my father...she wasn’t the same person after that.” You heard your mother say to Sam one night.

“Yeah, she’s...been taking Dean’s death really, really hard. I don’t blame her though. I’m sad he’s gone too but...it’s different for her than it is for me.” Sam said. You could hear the pain and sadness in his voice as he talked to your mother.

Although you had lost Dean; someone that you classified as being the love of your life, Sam also lost his brother and his best friend.

The last couple of days in particular have been the hardest. Even though you had felt a vast amount of fatigue and nausea over the last month, the last couple of days felt like it was in extreme overdrive. It felt harder and harder for you to get out of bed, and the smells of things that used to not bother you before started to sicken you.

“Hey honey. I’m going to be making some burgers tonight. Can you prep them for me?” Your dad asked. “You used to make the best burgers.” He complimented.

“Yeah I can…I can do that.” You responded. Taking out the meat from the fridge you had started your usual routine of how you had made the burgers in the past before you had started hunting with the Winchester boys. Unwrapping the meat from the package you felt yourself gag a bit. “Jesus.” You said, checking the expiration date. It was in date, but you felt like you wanted to throw up. “Um dad…Does this smell funny to you?”

Your dad walked over, a confused expression on his face. “It shouldn’t smell funny, just bought that meat yesterday.” He took the package from you and took a deep inhale. “No. It smells fine to me. Why?”

“The smell makes me want to gag.”

“Alright uh, I’ll ask Sam if he can do it instead.”

It was strange the way you were feeling, because you didn’t feel necessarily sick, but you had felt like there was something off with you. Picking up your phone you dialed your mothers number. “Hi Honey.” Your mom responded on the other end. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Um, are you still at the store?” You asked.

“Yeah I’m still here. Need me to get you something?” She didn’t sound worried, but you knew she was; she was your mother after all.

You sat on the cold tile floor waiting for the results to come up. You weren’t sure if you had wanted to see one or two lines – you had pros and cons for each. As you leaned up against the bathroom cabinet, test in hand, you looked over at the bathroom clock. “Okay. 30 more seconds.” You took a deep breath. “Okay, okay, okay.” Another deep breath. Although 30 seconds isn’t a long amount of time, at this moment, it felt like the time was dragging on. Your heart was pounding deeply and fast in your chest, you wouldn’t have been surprised if it had jumped clean out of you.

The 30 seconds were up, and you shut your eyes, taking another deep breath, mentally preparing yourself. “Okay. On three. One…two…three.” Opening your eyes you stared blankly at the lines on the test. There was two. Your heart that was once beating rapidly now felt like it was sinking. A small amount of tears started welling up in your eyes now, and you felt like you could no longer breathe.

A faint knocking on the bathroom door snapped you out of it. “Y/N? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for quite a while.” It was Sam.

“Yeah um…” You wiped the tears from your eyes, surprised that you had any tears left to spill. “I’ll be out in a sec.” You reassured him.

Getting up from the bathroom floor you looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror and turned on the sink. You looked so tired and drained. Faint black circles were underneath your eyes from your lack of sleep, your eyes were bloodshot red and puffy due to the constant crying. You splashed cool water on your face trying your best to get rid of any sign that you had been crying again. Although it wasn’t uncommon for you to cry lately, you hated how your parents and Sam looked at you; you didn’t want them to feel sorry or bad for you.

Walking out of the bathroom Sam was standing there leaning up against the wall in the hallway. He looked at you, slight concern in his face. All you did was look at him as you reached out your hand and handed him the test. He looked at you confused now, unsure of why you were giving this to him. “A pregnancy test?” He asked, almost sounding surprised.

“Yeah. Um…Not sure if you know how they work but…Two lines means it’s –” Before you could finish, Sam cut you off.

“Positive. Yeah, I know how they work.” He paused for a moment. “You and Dean um…”

“The day before everything went down yeah. One last time we said.”

In that moment Sam leaned in and hugged you, his warm embrace was something that you deeply needed right about now. You let the tears start falling down your cheeks. “At least a part of him will always live on.” You said, giving him the comfort that he needed in that moment. The two of you lost the same person – Sam his brother and best friend; you the love of your life. This pregnancy weirdly, was something of a blessing, something that not only you needed, but Sam needed too. Although the baby was going to be a constant reminder of someone that the two of you had lost, the baby was also a small piece of Dean that would be able to live on, honoring his memory. I hope you have his green eyes and freckles, you thought to yourself.

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester #spn imagine #supernatural imagine #spn one shot #supernatural one shot #dean x you #dean x reader #female reader #reader insert #spn #supernatural

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