#since pawns can also become something else

[sylhea-raemi]

sigh cmon

[thatfreshi]

Can I request an Astarion x reader fic where the reader keeps getting hit on/cat called by random people, and she brushes it off at first but it slowly becomes evident that it really bothers her, and needs someone to intervene or comfort her?

TW - Sexual harassment, threat of kidnapping

Recommended Song: Used - SZA FT. Don Toliver

Ah taverns, such wondrous places of inebriation and sloppy people of all creeds. You and Astarion are party people, despite his introverted nature. It's more about being two people thriving in chaos, playing the other patrons like pawns to make the night exciting, flirting with a stranger to snatch their drink from the bar, and all of those morally grey things. Sure, maybe it's not ethical to steal, but it sure is fun.

It's not a secret that you are two of the most good-looking regulars, but it's also well-known that you're severely monogamous. In fact, it's gotten very close to voyeurism multiple times, which has gotten you kicked out of a couple places. You don't mind public displays of affection, even if they're a little far gone at times. All of that to say, it's hard not to notice when you arrive.

Ever since the death of Cazador, you've been living in luxury. Despite rejecting ascension, Astarion didn't mind getting his hands all over the stockpile of gold and jewels the Szarrs had at their estate. After all, you'd say he deserves it. It's almost like being nobility, adorned in gorgeous clothing amongst the common people, and yet you fit in quite well. This rich adornment came with tight-fitting gowns, gorgeous lace pieces, corsets of the highest quality. Those also didn't go unnoticed, but this night in particular some people crossed the line.

You and Astarion brought your own bottle of wine to start the evening, something to get you loose enough to put up with whatever was on tap. Occasionally you'd befriend some strangers, just for the evening. Astarion had a bad habit of making jokes about his vampirism, so you often avoided speaking to the same people again in case they'd look past his sarcasm.

This night in particular you'd come across quite the fun group, and you'd kindly shared some of your wine with them, which was a most rare occurrence. Soon enough you ran out, and Astarion offered to grab something else for the table.

"I'll be right back darling."

He has a habit of disappearing in most circles, but he's always nearby when it comes to you, especially in a place like this. Of course he's protective of you, all you truly have is each other. He'll walk to the bar and purchase a new bottle, keeping eyes, or at least ears on you the entire time he's away. Perks of loving an elf, as his heightened senses have come in handy multiple times.

"Well, that man of yours certainly is something."

A human man comments from across the table, taking a sip of your fancy wine.

"I know."

You smirk, taking a sip of your drink.

"I can't imagine he's all that in the bedroom though."

You almost spit out your wine, surprised by the audacity of this complete stranger.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?"

"Just someone who thinks you could do better."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Well, I could bed you for a change."

You almost want to throw up at how bold this man is being. Instead of dragging the conversation on any further, you grab your drink and go to stand up, trying to eye Astarion from across the room. The tavern was awfully busy, far more than usual. After realizing he was nowhere in sight, you move to make your way to the bar. Suddenly, there's a hand in your hair, yanking you back.

"Well that's no way to treat a nice young man, now is it?"

This human snarls in your ear. No one seems to notice the situation, as the crowd is bustling. It's not often you get scared of random tavern goers, but this man is far more handsy than others.

"Unhand me."

You go to grab for the knife hidden under the slit of your dress, realizing you forgot to grab it on the way out. Of course, tonight of all nights. Realizing you were trying to grab for a weapon, the human twists your wrist behind your back, making you yelp in pain.

Astarion had a hard time hearing that night because of all the overlapping conversation, but that sound was all he needed for his ears to perk up and for him to abandon his drink mission. He has a keen sense for knowing when you're in danger.

"Adorable, you think you're that strong huh?"

He goes to feel where you reached for your knife, lingering on your leg a little too long. Then, he freezes.

"Excuse me sir, could you show me where your pulse is in your neck? Make sure your blood's still pumping?"

Astarion has his dagger in hand behind your attacker. The human starts shaking, and slowly creeps his hand off of your leg and onto his neck.

"Very good. Now, if you'd like to keep that precious sustenance pumping through your veins and don't want me to pop your jaw out of it's socket, you'll unhand my wife."

He points the tip of his dagger right where the neck meets the jawline, almost drawing blood. Soon after the human unhands your hair, and scrambles away, not before Astarion leaves the tiniest knick in his neck: a reminder. You turn around and embrace the vampire, finally catching your breath. He lets you stay wrapped around his side as he guides you out of the tavern.

"Are you alright my love? Did he hurt you?"

"Just my scalp a little. I forgot my knife before we left, stupid mistake."

He lifts your chin up to make eye contact with him.

"You shouldn't have to be armed so some man won't harass you. Would I prefer you to have a weapon on you? Of course, but if you ever can't protect yourself, I will."

You start to tear up a little. It's been a while since you've been that scared, and no one seemed to notice. What would've happened if Astarion was too late?

"Look at me."

He wakes you from your thoughts.

"Let's go home. Perhaps this isn't the right place for us."

You wrap your arm around his, holding onto his sleeve. Darkvision is nice at times like this, since he can see much further than you. The walk home is quiet, and he doesn't mind. However, he is constantly eyeing nearby alleyways in case that man decides to get smart with him. When you get home you ball up on the sofa, and he makes sure the door is double-locked, something he doesn't often do considering he made the locks himself. He makes his way to the sofa, the plush velvet making a nice contrast to rickety wooden chairs of the tavern.

"Come here darling."

He pulls you back to lay on him, and he unclasps your necklace, placing it gently on the nearby table.

"Astarion?"

You look up at him.

"Yes my love?"

Tears prick at your eyes again. You have a hard time getting the words out, as if it's an embarrassing question.

"Will... will you always keep me safe?"

Your voice wavers. He starts massaging your shoulders.

"Of course my sweet Tav, I'll keep you safe as long as you live."

His voice lowered, a certain serious tone taking hold. Part of him felt guilty things even went as far as they did tonight, but he promised himself he'd never let it happen again.

"I love you."

He smiles. It's not often you just say 'I love you' to one another, it's usually said in many different ways, in actions, in pet names. You save it for serious moments, when it feels important to remind each other of your love, how it binds you.

"I love you too darling."

Nothing else is said. Soon enough you fall asleep as he rubs your back, peaceful and safe.

[wh0reforfantasy]

Why is Jude Duarte the perfect morally grey character…

- Her parents were brutally slaughtered at a young age, and while hating Madoc, she also had a soft spot for her “father.” Since she was small, this man raised her and taught her everything she knew. Of course she had memories from her own parents, and could never forgive Madoc for what he did, but she also saw the fatherly side of him and appreciated it. Jude Duarte was created in a morally grey environment.

- Jude Duarte will do anything for her power/pride, even if it means risking everything and everyone she has. She could have easily brushed off petty insults and kept temper during her brutal bullying/harassment she was going through, like Taryn and the rest of her family insisted, but Jude never let it slide. Even if it was simple revenge that might earn her a dip into a creek, Jude always stood her ground. Later into the series, we see her completely and utterly invested with the little power she gains and how she uses it. There are considerable more risks with every power move she makes, especially everything concerned with the crown. Her family is usually an afterthought, and rarely an emotional case. Even with Oak, Jude is more concerned about the use of power and where she stands, then she is for his safe-being. Not to mention the time Jude almost killed Taryn in a squabble over Locke, which in its entirely mocked Jude and what control she had over someone close to Cardan. Jude loves her family, and will protect them, but not unless it suits her in some way.

- Everyone/anyone is her enemy… no matter how much she “trusts’ them. We see it with her relationship with Taryn, where Jude cares for her sister, but never really trusts her. Even with Cardan, while Jude was infatuated with him, she never once trusted him. All of her friends and family becomes pawns in her power game, and she will always back up herself first. This was taught to her by Madoc, who put battle/power first above his own important people and morals. Cardan was a known enemy to Jude, but he showed her a vulnerability/empathy that she showed no one else. Instead of being emotional and falling for him harder, Jude convinced herself it was an act and to use it to her advantage. Most people wouldn’t shackle a boy that was being beat by his own brother, trick him into having a crown he did NOT want to have, AND witnessed his whole family being slaughter in front of him… Jude didn’t care, she wanted the crown and her revenge.

Nonetheless, Jude has a side of her that is very protective and loves harder than the average person. Her strength and determination could be used for something more than her own gain, and she shows she is capable of that later into the series. We understand why Jude acts the way she does because we witness the pain of her character first hand. Who wouldn’t want revenge against the very people that hate her for her existence? Being human means your weak, can be controlled… a creature owned by the fae. Love was wired to be thought of as a weakness, something to make you lose the battle. In this series, we see her struggle with the choices of to love, or gain more power.

I think Holly Black made an AMAZING female lead that wasn’t written for love, but for feminine rage and power. Love didn’t stop her from gaining what she needed, what her goals were, and instead make her stronger. Jude fought most of her battles alone and failed, but got up regardless. Cardan wasn’t her knight in shining armor, it was quite the opposite. And let’s just say, the best series I’ve read so far.

[kanansdume]

I have SO MANY feelings about Kanan, Zeb, and Rex all being some of the last few survivors of dying cultures.

Even though the Jedi can pass on their teachings and there will always be more Force sensitive people in the galaxy, the specific culture of the Prequels Jedi that Kanan grew up with will never completely come back. Jedi like Ezra and Luke will share a lot of similarities, obviously, especially philosophically, but their way of life and traditions will look VERY different, as will whatever ends up evolving from them (and from Rey if we include the Sequels).

Similarly, Zeb finds the Lasat on Lira San, but those Lasat will presumably have a VERY different culture than the one that existed on Lasan. The two groups of Lasat have been separated for so long that Lira San has become legend and is thought to not really exist and even the people who believe it exists don't realize what it actually is and that there are other Lasat on there. This implies that it's been an EXTREMELY long time since the Lasat of Lasan originally left Lira San and the two groups have probably diverged quite a bit. Lira San itself is also just not going to feel like Lasan, it won't have the same landscapes or wildlife, the cities will be different. The language might even have some significant differences that the last three Lasan survivors would have to navigate. And there's no getting back that culture from Lasan, it's gone. There's only three known survivors and they're going to end up just... engulfed into the Lira San culture without a lot of ability to pass on what they remember from Lasan. Lasan might end up like... a chapter in a Lira San history text and that's probably it. The nuances of its culture will be lost completely.

And the clones. The clones are just going to completely disappear. People will likely only remember the clones even existed because the war got named after them. All they'll be remembered FOR is violence and death. Depending on who is talking about them, they'll either be the traitors who destroyed the Jedi and allowed the Empire to reign, or the poor pawns that the Empire used to destroy the Jedi and keep the galaxy under its thumb. Who they were will be completely and utterly lost. And there's no way for them to continue in any form. While it's POSSIBLE that a few of them might have sired children out in the galaxy somewhere, we never have any confirmation of that, and nearly all of them are dead by the time the Empire falls. Their friendship with the Jedi, what little culture they were able to develop, all of that is lost to time and will disappear once the final clone dies.

It's such a horrific thing that is happening to these three characters, a slow dying out that that's literally happening in front of their very eyes. It's the worst kind of connection between the three of them, but something that's probably really important in their various relationships. No one else understands this grief the way they do, no one else quite understands how this feels, the helplessness and hopelessness. There's absolutely nothing they can do but try to keep going and remember their people as best they can and live according to the culture the Empire has tried to eradicate.

I like to think the three of them end up discussing it one day, maybe one Empire Day they all just decide to go drinking and be maudlin together. And Kanan ends up talking about how the Jedi believed that there was no death, there was the Force. Everyone who dies rejoins the Force, so even if they're gone they're still impacting the galaxy and the people living in it, regardless of whether those who remain can feel them or not. Maybe you get a burst of inspiration or have a lucky break or meet someone you instantly click with, and maybe that's the people who've left before you still touching your life through the Force, binding you together no matter what. Zeb and Rex really connect to this belief and end up finding comfort and even a little healing in it.

[qtubbo]

Almost everyone assuming the way to “fix” Tubbo not being happy being make him and Fred start dating again, because it’s the simplest solution but just isn’t the solution. Tubbo is not jealous of Fit and Pac’s relationship in comparison to him in Fred, any jealous is of himself being third pick, rather than anything to do with them actually dating. From his and Bagi’s talks with Fred, it becomes pretty obvious that Tubbo is avoiding getting back together with Fred. He knows Fred likes him still, both how she’s acting and from the “boy with the pretty eyes” letter. Bagi’s talk with Fred, made her convinced that they just need to get together since it’s obvious they both still like each other, but it also asserts that Fred is making the active choice to step away for safety reasons.

From Tubbo and Pac’s chat, we can really gather some of his lingering trauma from his relationship with Fred. Fred was in constant danger from the Feds because he was with Tubbo, and Fred liking Tubbo is what got him tortured and almost killed by Quackity. Tubbo projects this unfortunate relationship on to Pac’s with Fit, he puts Pac as himself and Fit as Fred (just due to opening up to Pac instead of Fit nothing more), he explains in rambles about how they’ll be used against each other. That their relationship puts a target on each other’s back, if someone wanted to get at Fit they could use Pac. Pac being so open towards Tubbo, allowing him to get his thoughts out without proclaiming paranoia, helped Tubbo be a lot more honest. Explaining his general anxiety towards being in a romantic relationship, because he’ll be the catalyst to their down fall. Even making it obvious to someone else if it came down to it he’d kill Fred for an egg, by speaking of ultimatums in which it was Pac/Fit or Ramon/Richas.

He makes it pretty obvious he’s put his life on hold for Sunny, by projecting those same choices Tubbo made for Sunny on to Pac. Tubbo isn’t going any of this out of some jealousy to have Fit and Pac’s relationship but rather from fear. To him the choice is simple, even though it’s guilt-ridden, what’s better Pac or Fit dying as a pawn in someone else's game or a break up where they remain friends afterwards. This is a much more deep seated issue than some magical true love kiss can fix, even though both Fred and Tubbo still love each other. Fear is overriding want, and just getting him and Fred back together will make him reject Fred, or be in an intense state of stress.

When it comes down to his relationship with Morning Crew as a whole, he feels like the third wheel and has always felt that way. It’s Fit and Pac and then it’s Tubbo. Tubbo mimics a lot of Pac’s issues about usefulness and feeling like last place within their respective family’s. He’s been open about feeling like Morning Crew will become just a duo, that most of the love is directed towards Fit and Pac rather than himself. Tubbo has never shown any real bitterness from this, but he has showed a deep loneliness, Morning Crew is his safety net, he hasn’t accepted Bagi in yet, and his relationship with Phil has strained since purgatory. So in practicality if he lost Morning Crew, he looses an essential part of being alive, and he needs that for Sunny.

Tubbo is overwhelmingly terrified that Fit and Pac getting together is the beginning of the end, even though Fit and Pac have shown even after dating that he’s always on the back of their minds, that they’ll always care. He convinced himself that they’ll start spending more and more time together, without him, that he won’t even be a sidelong glance. There’s also a fear of death, a forced separation that them being together means their always each other’s weak point, “empathy is weakness”. To show care to another, is to show someone can hurt you with them, that’s something Tubbo has lived with since Fred. He won’t call Morning Crew his family, even though they are because then they’ll be in danger because of him.

It’s this pestering paranoia that’s driving Tubbo, not jealousy, he can not be “fix” as most islanders say by just giving him Fred to love. His loneliness is a choice built on fear, sometimes when Tubbo says he doesn’t want to love again, he means it. They love each other but now is not the time, maybe in the future where he isn’t so isolated.

[pruneunfair]

the real reason Remarried empress rarely remembers the slavery in the story.

I used to think it was just lazy writting so they can give Rashta a mandatory sad villain backstory and move back on with the romance but now that im thinking about it, it was probably on purpose because it heavily implies Naviers family would likely own slaves.

The only nobles I think don't own slaves are the Imperial family since slaves aren't allowed to be in the palace but everywhere else that has the money to buy them would likely have at least a few. When slavery does come up it's quickly justified in chapter 2 that slaves end up in that situation as some sort of indentured servitude and they free a handful every once in a while (that is the worst excuse I've ever seen but I digress) but it's canon that slaves can sold through the use of illegal trade thanks to Rashtas past confirming parents can pawn off their children to escape debt, Lebetti being kidnapped and sold, and for something a little more obscure: a bill of sale becoming a catastrophic object for Rashta. So no matter how much Navier will try to justify it, slavery will always be seen as what it is: a disgusting practice of humanity, but if she's such a generous woman who donates to the poor and is a perfect empress loved by all, why is she not only okay with slavery but also befriending slave owners?

well, given that the house of Trovi is one of the most powerful noble families behind the Vict's it's reasonable to assume that Naviers parents probably owned slaves whenever it was through sale or indentured servitude, a high end family like that not owning slaves just feels too unrealistic and it isn't helped by the fact that we know nothing about Naviers parents including their names, all we know is that they love their daughter dearly. So it's not unreasonable to say that not only was Navier taught slavery was justified karma but that she also grew up with slaves. I don't imagine Navier as the type to ever mistreat slaves of course and I think if her family did own them she'd be calm with them but I also feel like it's not out of morality, just because she doesn't have a temper and she's very dignified or Maybe her parents and brother did use cooperate punishment, we'll never know since Naviers only two aspects of her life are her love life and being a popular empress.

And even if for whatever reason Naviers family didn't own slaves, she had to be friends with a few slave owners even before meeting Lebetti. All her ladies in waiting (looking at you Laura) don't just insult Rashta because she's the mistress, they're also prone to insult Rashtas origins as a slave, Laura barely even refers to Rashta by anything other then "the slave" or "wench/filthy thing", this one's a bit more generalizing but Nian would also realistically own slaves or at least her ex husband would given her former status and the fact that she honestly looks like someone who would support the confederacy. I'm also not too sure about the west since I don't think we know much about it since most of it is spent on Navier and Heinrey being a couple, all I can remember is that the west is fruitful with gem mines and is a landlocked country but it wouldn't be totally off if they also had slaves.

All in all I just find it unrealistic as hell that the only slave owner is Lotteshu.

Now considering all this, Navier is already under suspicion with the fact that she's supposed to be kind to all her subjects yet slavery barely enters her mind outside of a cheap excuse to offer justification for it to exist. If slavery was actually a subject important to the plot then Navier wouldn't be the wronged girlboss they want her to be since she'd be implied to support slavery or even descend from a family that owned slaves. Rashta would actually have a valid reason to be distrustful of her, characters couldn't be so openly biased and classist without readers going "Hey, why should I support this character if they endorse human trafficking?" So they just don't talk about it, they shove it to the side, give confirmed slave owners redemption arcs and put them around the MC so they'll fangirl or whatever it is they need to do to be supportive. Do all of that while conveniently not showing the readers the other slaves they own and you'll quickly forget these people are garbage people.

frankly I'm disappointed they took this route because it ruins any chance of character development or even just interesting characters. There's tons of ways they could've gone with this if they just accepted the fact that Navier being from a high ranking noble family in a slavery adjacent country would mean her parents or friends would own people.

A: Navier could later realize how terrible it is to be a slave and right her wrongs by using Heinrey to push for it to be abolished in the west since he'll do anything for her

B: we could at least be given a reason why Navier doesn't try anymore, maybe she did push for it to be abolished when she was crown princess only for nobles to get pissed and it almost costed her engagement to Sovieshu.

C:Navier could just be a protagonist like Penelope or Aria, where she's not really a great person and you shouldn't support her all of the time but she's still very entertaining. This would work well since everyone in this story sucks anyway with the exception of McKenna and Charlotte.

But unfortunately, any flaws of her empire even really historically accurate ones would ruin Naviers self-insert quality. So slavery ends up in a box that feels like it's saying the practice is just a necessary evil, ironically making the other characters even more hateable then they could've been.

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hiiii hewwo :3 do u mind writing how the brothers would act with an MC that's just 8 years old? Idk if you do platonic scenarios, but if u do it'd be very cool🩷

I can definitely do platonic requests! I will admit that I’m not particularly well-versed in children as an only child and no friends with kids but I hope my experiences with Luke allow me to do this justice! Thank you for your patience as well; I’ve been busy with a flare up and then a ton of appointments.

Lucifer: As much as Lucifer doesn’t want to admit it, he’s definitely mastered the father figure sort of role for his family since coming to the Devildom. He’s taken a step beyond just the oldest brother and typically leaves that more to Mammon. Which means when Diavolo chooses a literal child as the RAD exchange student (soemthing Lucifer is gonna fight with him about later because what sort of idiotic choice is that?), Lucifer is immediately stepeing into the role of parental figure. Now, he’s not very affectionate and he does hold you to super high standards as he tries to imprint on you and mold you into the most perfectly well-behaved and studious little human possible but…he’s also hopelessly wrapped around your little finger. You teeter on the edge of being spoiled and Lucifer is far more attached to you than he would ever admit and he is petrified of the idea of something happening to you under his watch for more than just professional reasons.

Mammon: Mammon has immaculate tsundere older bother vibes. He’s not happy at all when he’s put in charge of a little kid and he can’t help but wonder if it’s a joke for them to make the exchange student a child so he doesn’t take the job super seriously at first, regularly pawning you off onto other people. However, once things start getting serious, Mammon becomes your biggest champion. He’s going to tease you like crazy and prank you but he’s not going to let alone else ever bother you. If someone so much as pushes against you too hard in the hallways at RAD, Mammon knows and that demon who did it is going to have several angry brothers to answer to. Mammon will also lowkey let you hang out in his room when you’re homesick and he spends an exorbitant amount of Lucifer’s money to spoil you because he can’t stand seeing you sad or wanting for anything.

Levi: Shockingly, Levi does well with kids, as evidenced by his interactions with Luke. Maybe it’s because they’re easily taken in by his interests and tend to see his video game prowess as something cool rather than something nerdy or lame. Whatever it is, children tend to have a good time with Levi and you’re no exception. He loves to play games and watch shows with you; he takes on the role of mentor basically with this studd and loves teaching you all the details which you soak up because little kids are so good at hyperfixating. He makes sure to only show you age appropriate stuff and you’re definitely wandering around the HoL with a Switch and Pokemon or Animal Crossing, always trying to show your stuff to the other brothers who listen to you with more patience than they’ve ever shown Levi. Levi is very much like the best-friend kind of brother where you trust him and end up telling him everything because you couldn’t possibly be embarrassed or nervous in front of Levi.

Satan: Satan is the antagonistic older brother figure. He takes great joy in riling you and Luke up by insulting you or teasing you, though it’s never overly serious and he enjoys it almost as much when you return the energy. Expect small prank wars with Satan and he will happily team up with you to go against the other brothers, especially Lucifer who he tries to turn you against. He doesn’t need to be your faovrite brother necessarily but he feels great joy in knowing you like him and respect him, especially if you ever choose him over Lucifer or another for something. It’s one of the reasons he enjoys teaching you things and helping you with RAD coursework so much. There’s something satisfying about having you listen to him and look up to him, particularly when you’re gushing about how smart he is and how good a teacher he is. Satan also teams up wth you to secure a pet (a cat obviously) for the HoL, advocating for how it’ll teach you responsibility or something. In his softer moments, Satan is happy to read to you, particularly mysteries, and he enjoys watching you try to solve everything before the end.

Asmo: Asmo is immediately smitten with this adorable human child that’s come to the Devildom. He just thinks you’re the cutest little thing and is going to turn you into his own living doll. Be prepared to be dressed up and showed off. He’s gonna take you everywhere with him, his own little shadow (which thrills you of course because who doesn’t wanna be Asmo’s favorite little pet?) and some times the other brother’s have to stop him and remind him that ‘no, MC is literally a child and cannot go to the club with you’. Asmo may not be the most practical big brother vibe, in fact he’s more like an older sister vibe, where he shares all the gossip of the Devildom with you while you sit with your face masks on, painting each other’s nails in his room, and an episode of the trashiest reality shows plays in the background. He’s teaching you so much about self-love and confidence and charm, and you’re going to go back the human realm such a secure, confident little individual under his tutelage.

Beel: Beel is nervous around you because you’re just…so small. So easily breakable. So innocent. It reminds him a bit of Lilith, which hits him pretty hard at first, and he doesn’t really want to get close to you because he doesn’t know if he can take another loss like that. It means he spends a lot of time in the beginning just watching over you from afar and if he sees someone at RAD so much as shove past you too roughly, he’s going to deal with them after school and you’ll never have that problem again - only you won’t know why because he keeps it a secret. Against his own will, Beel becomes more and more attached to you to the point where he enjoys having you at his practices and games to cheer him on and likes sharing warm milk and dessert with you before bed and he’s carrying you around half the time because you know that if you run and jump at him, he’ll catch you no matter what he’s doing or what he has to drop to do it. Beel is like the older brother that you admire and just sort of trail around behind like a little puppy, and you live for when he ruffles your hair or shares his ice cream with you.

Belphie: Belphie is used to being the baby of the family (aside from Lilith and he doesn’t want to go there, even in his own head) so it’s definitely an adjustment to get used to having a young newcomer around the house, getting all of his brother’s attention and affection. I won’t talk about pre-murder Belphie because Belphie killing an actual child as an act of revenge is taking it maybe a teeny tiny step too far. I imagine he doesn’t want to like you and is super short/disinterested at first, unless he’s bothering you in some way and he can definitely be more bitchy than his other siblings. But you grow on him, sort of like a fungus, as you chatter at him even while he doens’t answer and follow him around and do little tasks for him in hopes that he’ll start to like you. Eventually, you reach a point where Belphie is the person you go to for some peace and quiet in this crazy house. He’ll let you nap in his room and point out the constellations in the planetarium and he watches over your dreams to make sure you don’t have any nightmares. He’s definitely a secretly soft brother vibe.

Diavolo: Diavolo is like a proud soccer mom from the very beginning. He chose you because was so taken in by this adorable little human and that grows every day you’re in the Devildom. You may be little but you are fierce; it’s incredible watching a child essentially take over and captivate an entire realm to the point where they have a legion of the greatest demons catering to their every beck and call. Honestly, Diavolo couldn’t be prouder of you and he doesn’t care at all that he may be spoiling you and granting you a few too many freedoms. He celebrates your every accomplishment as if it’s monumental and he bends over backwards to make the Devildom a place where you feel safe and comfortable while you visit. You essentially become both his surrogate kid and the Devildom mascot in his eyes.

Barbatos: Barbatos, much like Lucifer, really doesn’t understand Diavolo’s decision to have a child as the exchange student. It sounds like asking for trouble and chaos, which is exactly what they don’t need during this very important time while they try to foster a relationship between the three realms. Barbatos trusts Diavolo though and so he accepts your appearance with his usual grace. He is very slow to warm up - he doesn’t interact with children much so he’s a little awkward and can sometimes be a little cold but he is looking out for you in his own ways. Over time, he grows closer and closer to you, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t understand why everyone loved you so much. Barbatos enjoys making you your favorite meals from home and teaching you about the flora and animal life in the Devildom, since those are things that interest you much more than the politics or such. Your innocence is very sweet to him and it makes him quite protective; he’s a silent force in the background making sure you’re safe.

Solomon: Solomon is the definition of the fun, crazy uncle. He loves the idea of the exchange student being a child; if the demons wanted a good representation of humanity, this is the most raw and unfiltered version of it that they could possibly find. He knows they don’t have any inkling of how much chaos you’re going to cause by being there, even if you’re a good child. Your curiosity and imagination and oversaturated feelings about things keep everyone on their toes and they’re learning from you just as much as you learn from them. Solomon becomes a little bit like family to you as the only other human available and you adore him, constantly gushing about how you wanna grow up and be a cool sorcerer like him. Solomon thrives under the attention and, to keep his cool points up, constantly whisks you away on all sorts of adventures and shows you all kinds of spells (most of which are not appropriate for children, Solomon, damn it).

Simeon: Simeon treats you like his own kid and he’s basically raising you and Luke as siblings. He’s got such single dad energy. He’s working hard as an exchange student at RAD and trying to keep the peace between the Devildom and the Celestial realm but he’s also gotta chase after you and Luke as you run amok through the kingdom. You two never give him a moments rest to be honest. For the most part, Simeon is a responsible guardian who keeps you both safe and is endlessly patient/kind, even when you two are being horribly naughty or causing problems. However, as a single dad, Simeon sometimes falls in that childlike mentality with you both and he will happily join in the prank wars or use you two as manipulation against the others, sort of like guys using babies to pick up women in the park. He can also tease you both a pretty significant amount because he believes in self-sufficiency and you won’t learn that if he babies you the whole time. Overall, he’s a 10/10 parent and the most suited to taking care of a child in the Devildom.

[hootbon]

Since I saw someone else talking about their fucked up ideas, I am too lol because I suddenly remebered them. But, pretty much just how my lore making brain decides to look at characters.

Kinger: He’s a king chess piece, obviously. He didn’t have to work for that position, unlike the queen, no chess piece can ever become the king, but a pawn can prove itself and become a queen, in a way. Kinger is now forced to be a lowly magician, because he never had to work for anything on his way up. Cracks from pressure, knowing he didn’t do anything, and now has to make up for it, whist his queen, the one who worked to gain that role, is no longer around

Ragatha: A rag doll, something that is quite literally a toy, old, not many people would chose that sort of doll over the newer kinds. Tossed around, ripped, lost, decapitated— so what? It’s a doll. If the doll breaks, you can just sew her back together again. If she does something wrong, you can watch her unravel in front of your eyes until you decide to stitch her back together again, though no one really cares for fixing her. She can be replaced easily, and so easily broken, used and abused by people endlessly, that’s what she’s made for. If she gets too chatty, you can just take out your thread and needle to shut her up

Pomni: A ballerina, she looks quite beautiful when she dances, she is a living ‘doll’, a puppet. A puppet by the strings, not much she can do, but be there helplessly as the ringmaster tugs them. A puppet, also a doll, are just used by someone else’s hand, she has no control over what they might make her do in the circus, and she never will.

Gangle and Aingle: The two sisters, ‘twins’ even if one of them doesn’t actually exist. A false persona, a forever toxic relationship, in a way. Bound to someone who looks like you, is always around you, but acts nothing like you do, wants to be the opposite of you, in a way. With all that ribbon, Caine could really tie the loose ends of the circus, like the abstraction issue for example…

Zooble: Quite handy with a thread and needle if they do say so themselves. Almost like the druggie of the whole group, they let intrusive thoughts kick in one day and than… they could never have enough. Dysphoric, their body never looked normal anyways in the first place, so it didn’t matter if they took parts of those now gone and tried to use them to fill the void of their own ever ending spiral of lack of self-esteem, right? They never liked the person in the mirror, so they change it every day, it only feels normal to be scavenging the halls after hair raising screams of pain can be heard in the hallway, sewing parts together to make something they enjoyed. A bad habit? Of course not, they never see it that way, they are simply making use of what others never appreciated, and now aren’t around to appreciate

Jax: The fluffy murder set bunny, we all love him. His silly little pranks go from sudden silly string ambushes, to agonizingly terrible ways for any mortal being to die— good thing you can’t! Caine would never let you. He’s just a bunny, a sweet little guy who wants nothing else but to put a smile on your face— well, that’s a lie, all he wants now is to satisfy his needs, and out a smile on his face. What is he thinking? You’ll probably never know, ever since Kaufmo disappeared for a few hours and came back, starting to act differently from normal, Jax acts like it’s the end of the world. Silly Jax, it’s just all fun and games! Kaufmo needed some help, so Caine got our friendly twins to help tie up those loose ends!

…Basically random shit, character design analogies and random ominous comments I thought of on the spot for these guys

.

[littleprince612]

Lies of P - ENDING EXPLAINED, THEMES & FAQ

MAJOR SPOILERS MAJOR SPOILERS ENDING SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

By the way, this is not a lore analysis at all, this is a discussion on the thematic ideas in the story, and I refer to the player character interchangeably as "we" or P/Pinocchio. This is also all just my personal interpretations on the story, and is subject to inaccuracy.

Please enjoy my spark notes-esque analysis on Pinocchio souls!!

Was Carlo evil?

My answer is no. This is a bit complex, so I’ll try to answer within two questions.

In one of the endings, P surrenders his heart and Geppetto then uses it to revive Carlo, his biological son. Carlo then ends up killing everyone in the hotel if we choose to "save" him. He steps out into the rain, looks at Geppetto, and smiles (something that P doesn’t do), seemingly confirming his newly found humanity.

This does seem like a happy ending at first, doesn't it? By submitting to him, We/Carlo may win the purely conditional love of our father, but this comes at a cost. He has surrendered a part of himself in obedience. He no longer has any agency. Thereby making him a puppet in the ideological sense:

The game has a meaningful mechanic where our hair will grow during the duration of the game. Carlo's presented with short hair, but he's also wearing the same outfit (white blouse) we had in the train station; This is the version of ourselves from the beginning of the game. Like showing all that development we made is now gone for submitting to our father, we're right back to where we started, even as a "real boy”: a non-realized being who is at the call of someone else, a (Gasp!) puppet.

Why does Geppetto sacrifice himself instead of calling the attack off?

Let’s say instead of giving away the heart, we refuse. Geppetto, disappointed, then opens the suitcase he’s been carrying since the first trailer. He reveals the unnamed puppet boss, raises up the unnamed puppet on strings, and attempts to take the heart by force. 

If you survive the first phase of the fight, P is able to slice the top his head off. There's then an animation of the "strings" around the nameless puppet being cut, becoming more ethereal.

The fight goes on as it does, and then something strange happens. The nameless puppet seemingly defies Geppetto, and nonsensically attacks the heart Geppetto so needs in the first place, at which point he is so desperate for Carlo's revival that he dives in front of us.

Geppetto asks, shocked, "Were you trying to destroy Carlo's heart?"

What’s in the box?

Geppetto opens the suitcase we’ve seen him carrying since the first trailer, and raises up the nameless puppet. In the other ending, we can see that the body in the suitcase is indeed Carlo. 

I think that Carlo/Nameless puppet regained some amount of sentience after being damaged. After the "real boy ending", Geppetto has him kill the rest of the people in Hotel Krat. Carlo being revived would mean Geppetto still has absolute control over his son. 

Short answer: He lost control of the puppet in the second phase and it either sabotaged him or acted purely of its own accord to end the fight. I think the implication was that even Carlo knew being brought back was a bad idea. Damn :(

[note: people online have pointed out: It’s implied that Geppetto seems to have heavily neglected Carlo, and Carlo may have hated Geppetto in reality ("I don't care if an old man like that kicks the bucket!"). This reinforces the idea that the Carlo we see at the end is just a pawn.]

Is Pinocchio = Carlo?

I think this is one of the more interesting points. This is either ambiguous or left unresolved by the game; but I think it's probably true that Pinocchio and Carlo are virtually the same person. If Geppetto had just accepted our/P's decision not to surrender the heart, he may have still gotten the son back that he always wanted anyway. But for all intents and purposes, the game seems to answer that it doesn't matter. Antonia's final letter to us rather profoundly chooses not to answer the question.

Why Antonia is a real one

This is Antonia's final message to us, contrasted with Geppetto's role with us as a parent in our final battle. [emphasis mine]

To the wonderful gentleman who gave my precious time back to me, That time I met you was light itself. Whether you're that child or not, I think you're a kind, precious child. Thank you for giving my joy back to me in my last moments. To the young gentleman who resembles Carlo, Antonia Cerasani

[Remember, these are Antonia and Geppetto’s respective last words to us]

To be very fair, Geppetto was Carlo's actual parent; Antonia was not. But this seems to contrast with Geppetto asserting to us during the final boss sequence that we are just a puppet. The word "precious" is also very particular, as it's a word that Geppetto uses to refer to us near constantly ("Always remember that you're precious to me"/"it pains me to send someone so precious into such peril"). But while it could be read that we are only precious to him for ulterior reasons (because we carry the organ needed to revive Carlo), Antonia asserts that we are precious regardless. I see that as a truer, non-possessive love.

[also: Carlo's eyes are very noticeably brown (also seen in the painting), Our/P’s eyes are blue. Eyes, nearly always, have quite the symbolism! "The window to the soul", remember? While P and Carlo may have had a near-identical shell, I think this might be the game telling us that P and Carlo weren't truly the same. ]

Who’s a good boy?

Geppetto calls us "good boy" quite a lot. It's been fun watching various streams of this game, and whenever Geppetto calls us a "Good boy", I remember the chatroom filling up with messages of disgust, like: Good boy has real "Would you kindly" vibes! and: I squint my eyes at him every time he calls us a good boy like a dog.

It really reminds me of Mother Gothel! When Mother Gothel calls Rapunzel "pet" and consistently dresses her in undersized dresses, she's infantilizing Rapunzel to take away her agency. Cleverly, each time she tells Rapunzel she loves her, she seems to be directing that love to her hair! She's also constantly touching and caressing it. She isn't interested in Rapunzel as a person, but in the functional idea of her. Geppetto also expresses discomfort seeing us age (our hair growing), in contrast to Sophia's honest and enthusiastic interest. It's symbolic of his disdain towards our growing self-autonomy (growth into an adult).

[Even in the last hug with P, it’s a basically a ruse to grab the heart, and he never gives P a second look when he collapses for dead on the floor.]

[To be somewhat sympathetic to Bad Dad Giuseppe (I'm not defending him), it's also probably because we are now growing past the age that Carlo died. Essentially, we're starting to outlive him, and Geppetto has to witness the growing that Carlo never got to reach. That's got to be hard to bear.]

What does P actually stand for? P stands for Puppet, Not Pinocchio

People have noticed since the demo that we are never actually, explicitly referred to as "Pinocchio". The NPCs seem to dodge around saying "Pinocchio", opting for words “like Geppetto's puppet" or “child” instead. Given the story's inspiration and the game's title, however, it could be inferred that our name is Pinocchio. Why not just call us by name? 

Well, the doylist interpretation is that maybe they just didn't want to stir up some kind of trademark trouble with a certain Walter Mouse. But the game does something clever with this, lore-wise. After our "betrayal" at the hands of our father, I think the big reveal is simply that we are unnamed. Giuseppe gave us no name, showing he didn't view us as a true autonomous being.

Why does Geppetto apologize in the alternate "good ending"?

Both the endings are near identical, but when Geppetto is beginning to curse Pino, he apologizes instead. The beginning of the end cutscene is the same as the second “good ending”, where Geppetto tells us that we’re “just a useless puppet”. He's beginning to say this, except for when he sees the tear fall, at which point he seems to relent.

I think it's supposed to imply, seeing Pinocchio seemingly mourning for him, that in the very last moment Geppetto understood that either 1. Pinocchio was truly Carlo or 2. that he was sentient enough to be his tangible son anyway.

Is Pinocchio still alive? (+ Collodi's journey to Adulthood)

I think so!

If you've taken certain paths, you unlock the third ending, which is like the second ending, except with an additional scene where we can see P returning to the Alchemist's tower to look at a peaceful Krat. P then uses the ergo from Sophia into a puppet replica, at which point he collapses, seemingly from exhaustion. Sophia cradles him as he sleeps and serenely tells us it's good to see us again.

In the book, Pinocchio, after travailing to support both his ailing father and the sick blue fairy, falls asleep and dreams that he is visited by the blue fairy. The fairy, now whole and healed, tells him he hasn't been the best son, but that boys who support their parents are "deserving of great praise". When he wakes, he is a human boy, and his puppet form lies lifeless on a chair. It isn't Pinocchio showing pure obedience that makes him into a real boy, but the selfless act of caring for his father (the reversal of the parent-child structure). In my interpretation - her final message is this: That he was never perfect, (and perhaps he would never be perfect), but the bottom line was that he loved his father, and that was enough to make him human. [I think there's something in my eye!]

(Easter - The Resurrection of Christ, Rebirth, Death and renewal, Spring) 

In case you don't know (I didn't btw), the statue in the Exhibition is actually Michelangelo's La Pieta. Its inclusion in the game not only alludes to the novel's Italian origins, but also serves as a central visual motif as it's representing Jesus's death in the arms of Mary. This visual motif is revisited by P and Sophia at the end of the game in the “true” (canonical) ending. Symbolically, In the selfless act of reviving Sophia and at the end of his journey, he has transcended and broken the "egg shell of his puppet body" into a true adult (a human being). 

Does lying make us human?

At the centre of Collodi's Pinocchio is a father-son relationship wherein underlies an unconditional love. But this game has quite the different father-son relationship. When puppets are made, they are meant to follow under the laws of the Grand Covenant, and our father is the father of all puppets. Namely, each time we lie, this is in defiance of our father figure. Remember, the rule is that a puppet cannot lie. Lying doesn't have the connotation it has in the book or in popular culture adaptations of Pinocchio. Rather, lying in the game seems to infer choice and not deception.

It isn't just the act of disobedience (Self-agency) that gives us our autonomy ("A man chooses", mirroring Bioshock), In many cases in the story, we are asked if it’s better to comfort someone with a lie than telling them a truth that maybe wouldn’t serve them. In that way, you can also view lying as the selfless act of taking a burden.

Again, this adapts Collodi's psychological ideas in the book on the growth of the self-interested nature of the hedonistic, narcissistic child into the empathetic "adult" that works to serve others. [I know I might come across as harsh here, but bear with me, I’m just trying to speak in literary terms.] But while Collodi's Pinocchio focuses on the selfless nature of a parent, Lies of P focuses on the self-agency of an adult. 

So why is Lies of P so dead serious about Pinocchio? Well, it's an elaborate metaphor for self-autonomy.

In Conclusion…

Does Lies of P have an identity issue in of itself? Great soulslike? PuppetBorne 2.0? But it's also a beautifully rendered Pinocchio adaption. Quite unusual, perhaps, but there's a quote that bizarrely enough comes to mind when I think of the audacity of a Pinocchio themed soulslike - Talent is hitting the target nobody else can hit, while genius is hitting the target nobody else can see. I think there is a reason why the tale of Pinocchio persists and persists.

[starogeorgina]

𝐑𝐮𝐧

Paring: Joel Miller × reader

Warnings: Swearing, smut, violence, age gap

Chapter: 1.01

You push the door to the bedroom where Joel was sleeping as quietly as you could, being careful not to startle him. Except Joel was still awake, sitting in the darkness on the edge of his bed, staring outside, watching the snow fall. You’d overhear Joel and Ellie arguing, ending with Joel saying some pretty harsh things to the younger girl. You cared for Ellie like an older sibling, and usually you would have ripped anyone to shreds for speaking to her that way, but you knew Joel would be regretting his words already.

“If you’ve come to-”

You cut Joel off before he had the chance to finish his sentence. “I’m not coming to cuss you out; I just wanted to see how you’re holding up.”

You could tell Joel was struggling after reuniting with her brother, Tommy; it also didn’t help that his new sister-in-law Maria, wasn’t a big fan of him.

You’re met with a frown when Joel turns back to look at you. Feeling self-conscious, you fold your arms. “What, why are you looking at me like that?”

“You look cold.”

“I’m fine,” you shrug. Since arriving at the community Maria brought you to, you have been provided food, clean clothing, and a house, which you are extremely grateful for. After showering, you changed into a pair of soft plaid shorts and a matching shirt. “I’m always warm.”

Joel shakes his head, not believing you, and says, “It’s freezing outside; there’s no way you can be warm.”

You sit down on the opposite side of the bed he’s sitting on, to which he says nothing. When you first met Joel, he hardly even acknowledged your presence, but some time between watching Henry kill himself and the three months it took you to travel to Wyoming, something changed. You'd become a lot more familiar with each other. He protected you and Ellie over everything else.

A comfortable silence passes until you lay back on the bed, and a small chuckle escapes Joel’s lips as he moves to lay down beside you. “Is this your subtle way of telling me to sleep on the couch or on the floor?”

“No,” you snort. “I will be sleeping—well, I will try to sleep beside Ellie, but I give it ten minutes before she starts moaning that I’m too warm, then I’ll end up on the floor.”

“You seriously can’t be…holy shit,” he says, placing his hand on your arm. “You’re like a furnace. I thought you were always giving Ellie extra clothing to be nice. I know to keep you near the cold.”

“So, where are we going next?”

“I thought you heard what I told Ellie.”

“I did,” you say, moving your head and resting it on his shoulder, “but I know you didn’t really mean it. Did you tell Tommy about her immunity?”

“Yes.”

Your jaw clenched. The fuck did he do that for? Keeping that secret was one of the only things that kept Ellie. “Fuck, if he tells Maria…”

“Hey, hey,” Joel says, feeling you tense beside him. He turns on his side so he’s facing you as he cups your face. “I promise you, my brother won’t say a thing. I told him so he could keep her safe.”

“And what about me? What poor soul have you decided to pawn me off on?”

He smiles and says, “Honestly, I’d choose myself.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”

You feign offense, and Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you in closer. He sighs. “I’ve grown accustomed to your company, but I know you won’t leave Ellie.”

Neither will you. If you had any money, you’d place a bet on Joel still leaving in the morning with you to help take Ellie to the Fireflies, but you keep this thought to yourself.

“I think I’m going to call it a night; I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You can sleep in this bed if you want,” Joel offers. “I won’t moan that you’re warm.”

“Okay,” you shrug.

It doesn’t take you long to get comfortable and start to drift off, but it doesn’t take you long to stir when you feel hot breath on the back of your neck. It felt nice having someone so close. Joel was rubbing circles on your thigh with his thumb.

You tilt your head back to look up at him and say, “Can't you sleep?”

“No.”

A feeling you can’t describe overcomes you, and you peck Joel on the lips.

“What was that for?”

“Thank you for always saving us.”

“Oh.”

You expect Joel to roll his eyes or tell you to go back to sleep, but he kisses you. Not a sweet peck; a real kiss on the lips.

A few seconds pass, then your lips clash together. The kiss quickly becomes more heated as Joel rolls on top of you. All the pent-up wants and needs come spilling out at once. The hand resting on your thigh slowly creeps up your stomach and rests right below your breast.

Your hand threads through his hair. Playfully nipping at his bottom lip before nodding and giving him the go-ahead to go further. His free hand rubs at your warm core over your shorts; he does this while squeezing your breast and peppering your neck in kisses.

“Oh fuck,” you moan before clasping a hand over your mouth.

“How long has it been?” He whispers.

“A while,” you blush.

“Okay,” he says, kissing you gently on the lips. “We’ll start off slow, and if you want to stop, we can.”

He takes your hand and guides it so you’re holding your shorts to the side, giving him access to your pussy. He spits on his fingers, then teases you by rubbing slow circles on your clit. Joel lets go of your breast and covers your mouth, saying, “You can’t make any loud noises.”

You nod.

He smirks while sliding a finger into you. “You’re so wet; do you think you could take another?”

You nod again. And do your best not to cry out when Joel scissors his fingers inside you while tapping his thumb against your clit, making you tighten around his digits. “Please, please, I want more.”

Not needing to be told twice, Joel withdraws his fingers, pulls down his pajama bottoms, and rubs the wetness on his hand along his hard cock. “What the lady wants,” he says, amused. He runs his cock over your slit, wetting it some more before placing the tip at your entrance. “Are you sure?”

He gives you an out, but you choose not to take it. He lowers his hand from your mouth so you can say, “Fuck, yes.”

“Atta girl,” he says, covering your mouth again, which surprisingly turns you on. “Sorry, baby, but I know you won’t stay quiet.”

He was right; when Joel thrusts inside you, moans spill from your lips. He replaces his hand with his mouth. You spend the next few hours having the most loving yet pleasurable sex of your life.

—

“It’s been a while since I had a woman sneak out on me.”

You get a fright and jump upon hearing Joel’s voice suddenly coming from the other side of the stable. You face him with a smile on your face. “I didn’t sneak out; I was just careful not to wake you.”

He leans against one of the wooden posts and says, “You look different. Your hair is different.”

“Maria cut it this morning.” Having hair that was easily maintained seemed more practical. You clear your throat. “So how long do you think it will take us to find the fireflies?”

“A four to five... How did you know I’d change my mind?”

You just smile while continuing to feed the beautiful horse in front of you an apple, while the other horse grazes on some hay.

Joel licks at his lips. “So last night was...”

“Unexpected,” you chuckle. “It was good; do you think we need to talk about it?”

“Well, that depends." He pauses briefly before continuing. “If it was just fun or if it meant something more, I care for you, but if you want to keep it casual or make it more serious, I’ll follow your lead.”

Hearing him say that was surprising, but the man had been hurt so many times that you could understand why he didn’t want to mess around. Spotting Ellie walking into the stable with Tommy, you don’t get a real chance to answer Joel without changing the subject. “Morning sunshine, sleep well?”

Ellie looks between you and Joel and says, “You both look like shit.”

Joel gives Ellie the choice of wanting to travel with his brother or him; of course, she chooses Joel. As you get ready to leave, you place your hand on Joel’s back and whisper, “Whatever this is, she can’t know anything about it.”

“Agreed.”

—

“Joel, Joel..." you gasp, with tears in your eyes. He and Ellie hadn’t noticed you were no longer running beside them.

It has taken you five days on horseback from Jackson to finally arrive at the University of Eastern Colorado to find no flies; they had either all died or moved on. Joel found a map that was pointing towards St. Mary's Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. But before you could try and scavenge the place for supplies, a group of raiders appeared, and all hell broke loose.

You’d tried to sneak out the back of the building, but one of the raiders grabbed your arm and was now holding a knife at your throat. The man’s blade nicks the side of your neck, causing the smallest amount of blood to spill from the nearly invisible cut, but before he can hurt you again, Joel tackles the man to the ground then snaps his neck.

You hold Ellie close and feel her shaking against you. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Joel!” She screams when more raiders start running in your direction. “Fuck! What do we do?”

“Get on the horse, now!”

When Ellie mounts the smaller horse, you turn to face Joel, who is pulling a knife from his stomach. He got stabbed, saving you. “Fuck!” You help him climb up onto the large horse, then sit behind him on it and say, “Don't you dare die; Ellie needs you; I need you!”

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 45 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 44 | lesson 45.2 | lesson 46

did i play all the ruri tunes level last night so i could read the entire lesson and make this post at work? yes.

and i'd do it again BOP BOP

HELP 😭 my man was TIRED

i feel like belphie helped put beel to sleep bc he was too invested in his work and not disappointing lucifer to go to sleep on his own. maybe he was too worried and overused his powers, making beel sleep deeper than he normally does and worrying everyone even more on accident

idk i'm just yapping

maybe it's something lilith related? or maybe it is just an all you can eat buffet with mc and the boys. regardless of if he picks something food related or not, it's gonna involve his family, and i love that about him

thinking about this reminds me of the one bonus scene in nb season 1 (not sure which lesson but i think i talked about it) where beel blamed himself for not telling lucifer about the banshee when it happened and, ultimately, for lilith's death

he and lucifer are so similar in terms of how the feel the need to protect their family at all costs, even if it means killing themselves in the process, and i really wish we got more of the two of them together bc i adore their dynamic

ik we all saw that teaser trailer video...what's going on with him ???

is it a result of messing with the timelines one too many times, or the fact that satan was sentenced to become a human instead of a demon when he fell, or something else entirely?

i thought the post was getting too long, more on this here

shhshdhsgs he's such a dad

with the chapter title being "runaway train", i figured smth like this was gonna happen 😭

aside from that, satan hosting the finals is so on brand for him. gotta love my favorite nerd

but also i'd be PISSED if i was hosting and they didn't tell me shit bc what ???

logically speaking, they won't let anything bad happen to three of the seven lords, their pact holderand best friend/partner, and the demon prince's butler, but anyone with a brain would be panicking if the conductor of the train all of a sudden vanished into thin air and nobody on the train knows how to operate it 💀

hm...

HMMM....

this is probably a stretch, but what if those people are the sponsors for this leg of the science fair? what if they actually want the boys dead?

again, this post is already long so i made a separate one 🫠 mb y'all

:((( pookie

the guilt and helplessness he probably feels for not knowing any of the circumstances despite his status as host, maybe even feeling like he was a pawn of the sponsors who came up with the event in the first place

we know he has self-esteem and self-worth issues and this is not only a punch in the gut, but terrifying bc his self-perceived "incompetence" and inability to help because of his lack of knowledge, something that he usually prides himself on, might end up getting the people he's closest to killed

he can't face the guilt, so he ran

he's so ??? 😭

also, since beel and barb are technically on the same team now despite being competitors before, does that mean they each get a wish if the team as a whole wins, or does the team collectively get one wish? bc just giving one of them a wish wouldn't be fair

and i mean TECHNICALLY force is a part of physics

beel big brain

...we've almost died how many times now?

also, since this part is called "beel's wish", imagine his wish is to save us so we don't die (again) lmao

luke is so not funny 😭

but this is honestly really sweet of diavolo. i had a feeling he'd figure out how to incorporate everyone's wish into his own bc even after winning due to mainly his own efforts, he insisted that it was a team effort

talked about the bonus stories here bc there wasn't enough space for screenshots 🥲

[fangsforiris]

Luck of The Draw

Prompt: Seasonal Depression, Leeches (Melanie Martinez), First Born, That’s Life.

Person: Shuu Sakamaki

HC’s:

🎱 Since Shuu’s the first born, I’d like to assume that he’s seen everything.

🎱 You know that one FNAF audio? “I was the first, I have seen… everything.” Yeah, that’s him and his entire life in a nutshell.

🎱 Everything he’s ever had to work for, he’s always lost 10x the amount of his payout.

🎱 Hence, luck of the draw.

🎱 Melanie Martinez— Leeches— was a big inspo, Shuu 100% has this song on his playlist.

🎱 He relates to it HEAVILY.

🎱 “Strainin’ their artificial, Yappin’ to seem official, Makin’ it beneficial to their cause”— Shuu definitely felt those lyrics in his soul. He only thought of his father, and his eventual corruption, or perhaps him learning of how horrible of a man and a father Karlheinz was.

🎱 He was in denial. Because how could a child want to hate their father? No child would ever want that. And he didn’t either.

🎱 I think it took him some time to accept the fact that Karlheinz was an evil, cruel man, and even more of a monster to his wives and children.

🎱 Christa was proof enough. And I’d like to assume that his heart shattered that day, not only by shock for Christa, but for whatever remorse he could spare. Shuu could excuse anything done to him, but anyone else? Never.

🎱 Shuu’s learned everything he knows by watching his father. Everything Karlheinz did, Shuu did better.

🎱 Shuu’s always been the prized child, perhaps the apple of his fathers eye, before Subaru would come along, that is.

🎱 He wouldn’t feel any resentment persay, more so acceptance towards the fact that all he is and ever will be is a placeholder or someone to be taken advantage of.

🎱 Shuu was the first to see his father act like a father, or at least to his best ability towards him, before reaching his declination state that we currently see him as of now.

🎱 In fact, Shuu’s somewhat seen as a filled cup, always pouring and giving, and never once being offered anything other than scraps.

🎱 That’s how he’s become so burnt out and resorts to his habitual sleeping.

🎱 He has what we call, 3 nap phases. The pre-nap exhaustion, main-nap exhaustion, and post-nap exhaustion— and if it’s really bad then a ‘dessert’ nap or extra spare nap.

🎱 Shuu’s naps go on for 10+ hours.

🎱 They equally drain him mentally and emotionally.

🎱 “How much blood can you draw with your claws, From a flesh that’s not yours?”— Shuu instantly thought of Reiji and his cruel treatment directed towards him. Perhaps he’d lament it on another day.

🎱 Maybe all he could ever be was a useless man. But he’d never be his father. Not the way in which Karlheinz betrayed him so easily. Tossing him aside as if he was nothing to him. No sentimental value, nothing.

🎱 Shuu is 100% an empath and very sentimental towards others feelings.

🎱 Throughout the years he had to numb this side of him due to the strenuous competition for the throne.

🎱 But if you catch him on a rare moment, will he show his side of care— pure, raw, even slightly intimate, care. It felt uncharacteristic of him, but for a moment he felt like the most humane out of the brothers.

🎱 As if he was human once upon a lifetime ago.

🎱 “They’ll find any way, Just to make you stay, Right where they want you, In their piss-covered games.”— He can resonate with Karlheinz and his plan. Never in Shuu’s life, did he want to become a pawn. He 100% tried to get himself exempted in secret. Just something about living his entire life, his entire purpose, just to be a pawn in another one of his fathers games— it hurt, but also upset him deeply.

🎱 He’s done everything in his life to not be like his father or his mother. And to find out that it was all in vain? All for nothing? That’d secretly tear him apart and send him into a comatose.

🎱 Shuu may look like his mother, may share similar panels towards his father, but he was his own person.

🎱 He would grow to become his own king, a better husband, a better man.

🎱 Anything and everything to separate himself from his creators. He wasn’t his own master, but he was definitely his own disciple.

[derangederensimp]

Demon Slayer One Shot Kinktober

#30 Sex Pollen Akaza x Fem Reader

CW: Plot, Angst, Sex Pollen, Rough sex, biting, blood, choking, spit, mating press, Creampie.

Amazing artwork that is inserted in the fic was made by SMUT_hie

-

Akaza scoffed, knowing there had to be better things Muzan could’ve had him do instead of escorting a human around like a lost puppy. But he preferred it be him than anyone else, that way he knew you were safe.

The only reason Muzan still kept you around was because he noticed how protective Akaza had subconsciously grown over you and how your face lit up whenever you saw Akaza. A love that even Muzan could see was growing. A pawn to him to use if Akaza disobeyed him.

-

It’s been quiet since Akaza came and got you from the last location Muzan had left you at. He always left first to a new hiding location and then had one of the demons come and get you eventually. None of them understood if Muzan took an interest in you, how come he just didn’t turn you into a demon? All that’s happening to you is aging and becoming a demon, you could be with him forever just the way you are now, is that not what he wanted? They all thought. None of them dared to ask and just followed his orders.

The silence killed you as you longed to hear Akaza talk, even if he was going to act like a jerk to you. Unknown to you that Akaza also hoped you’d pipe up a conversation just to hear your sweet voice to pull him from reality even if it was for a little bit.

“Come on, you can walk faster than that y/n, or is it that your human legs stop you from going faster?” Akaza narrowed his eyes looking back at you. He wanted to see how you reacted but was disappointed to see no reaction other than your soft smile you always wore.

“What’s the rush, you're a demon so not like there’s another threat lurking around here. Besides, it's beautiful outside. Muzan keeps me inside all the time so let me enjoy this alright? Don't you ever just want to sit and relax, Akaza?” You asked, stopping in your tracks and looking at the night sky filled with stars. To think about it, lately the only demon that has been taking you place to place was Akaza. He clearly hated it but you enjoyed his company even if he was quiet most of the time. That same soft smile growing on your face once again as you looked up thinking about that.

Akaza’s facial expression softened watching you, his annoyance fading. He always thought you were pretty but something about how you stared at the sky made his heart feel warmer. “O-okay” He said reluctantly, sitting on the grass. You did the same, a gust of wind blowing the hair out of your face. Taking in a deep breath you smiled at Akaza who just stared at you. “If you were human when you met me, what would you think of me?” You quizzed

“I’d still think you were beautiful” looking away at your mouth hanging open, a soft chuckle coming from him. “Y-you think I’m beautiful?” You asked.

“Of course I do. You humans need to get your ears checked. I said that loud and clear didn’t I?” He said, putting his hand on the back of his neck.

“Do you think I’m going to die soon?” You asked, staring at him.

“You think you’d still be alive if he wanted you dead? I- I wouldn’t let that happen to you anyways.” Akaza said, looking over at you.

“Why is that?” You mused, scooting over to be closer to him.

“It’s my job to protect you” he stated, looking down at you now.

“So if you were given an order to leave me behind or to kill me you wouldn’t?”

What was this feeling Akaza felt in his chest, an aching sensation at the thought of you being hurt in any sort of way. “Never” he spoke up. You brought your face closer to his trying to close the gap between the two of you. He smiled down at you but before he could place his lips on yours his smile fades from his mouth, furrowing his brows noticing something wasn’t right.

Something about the air changed. Looking around he spotted a group of glowing blue flowers, pollen being blown up into the air. Pulling you onto your feet he tried to flee the mist of the pollen but he didn’t want to hurt you. Making it too late to get away.

His pupils dilated watching yours do the same. He pushed you at arms length, it felt like fire burning through his veins fighting the burning urge to kiss you. “A-Akaza I want to kiss you” you said, your eyes hooded as you gazed at him. Pulling you back into his embrace “You sure?” He panted, feeling your warm body in his arms made him just want to rip into your clothes to feel how soft your skin would be on his. “Please” you asked, a slight tone of begging lingered. Whatever it was that you breathed in started setting in as both of your bodies burned with desire for one another.

Pushing your hair aside he planted his palms on your cheeks and brought his lips down to yours. A spark seemingly coursing through your body as you wrapped your arms around his neck deepening the kiss. The heat growing between your legs making your cheeks flush pink. Your lips only unlocking to get a gasp of air before you two were back to exploring each other's mouths, tongues pushing at each other. Akzaza was a panting mess, his cock hard but luckily his baggy pants hid it from you.

Akaza pulled away from your lips, a string of saliva lingering between you “more, I - I need more” you panted. A grin growing on his lips before he sunk his head between the crevasse between your neck and collarbone, his lips peppering your skin making you let out a soft moan. He felt the need to pin you down surging through his body. Softly pushing you to lie down he hovered over your body.

Putting his knee between your parted legs he pulled at your Kimono, shifting it from your shoulder and pushing the cloth from your thigh as you yanked at his vest and tangled your fingers in his hair. One of his hands kept him grounded while the other hugged your neck softly, giving him a clear spot at your neck to start licking at it just to hear your soft moans again.

Art by SMUT_hie

“I need you” Akaza cooed desperately into your ear. “Let me have you please” he pleaded. Your hungry hands pulling his head down to your neck to feel his sweet mouth on your skin. The feeling giving you even a bit of relief from the constant surging of your impulses wanting to take control. Your grip tightening on his clothes pulling him closer to your body as you slammed your lips to his.

Needy moans coming from the both of you as your hearts beat out of your chests. Trying to pull off each others clothing, only pulling away from each other to catch your breath before going back at it. Akaza finally undid the ties of your Kimono pushing the beautiful fabric off of your skin revealing the most intimate parts of you. His fingers traced the fabric of your panties, his cold fingers sending shocks down your spine. “All mine, all mine, all mine” he chanted as his fingers glided past the damp spot your juices had caused.

Your mind was reeling, your body moving on its own instinctively bucking your hips into his touch. “D-don’t tease me Akaza… need you” you panted, staring up at Akaza with hooded eyes.

The next thing you heard was your panties being ripped off your body. His palm resting over your cunt as the other hand reached behind your back to undo the clasps of your bra. Finally freeing your breasts to him, he dipped his head down to your nipple, taking it into his mouth and flicking the bud with his tongue. He looked up at your face watching your reaction, your body squirming underneath him as you moaned his name. “My name sounds so fucking good on your tongue” Akaza praised.

“Say it some more” he cooed. Putting his thumb on your clit putting pressure on it before circling it to soothe your hips bucking into him. “So eager, you want me that badly?” Sinking two fingers into your folds hooking his fingers inside pushing on your gspot.

“Please” you whined, your hands trying to undress him. He pinched at your nipple between his fingers making you bite down on your lip drawing blood. The smell enticing Akaza, his lips crashing onto yours, licking up all the blood that came from the wound, his cock twitching in his pants “Delicious” he cooed into your ear. Getting what you finally wanted Akaza took off his vest and took his pants off revealing his cock. You stared at it, mouth watering at the sight. His veins pulsating as pre came from the tip.

Rubbing his cock between your lips made him groan, he stroked at it to rub around your slick all over. Resting his thumb on your clit he rubbed circles, lining himself up with your entrance he slammed his hips to yours, your cry’s filling the open field. His fingers dug into your hips making you whine. Akaza stayed still, letting your body adjust to him before he started moving against leaving sweet kisses along your neck, your hands gripped at your kimono underneath you as he bit into your neck softly.

“M-more” you moaned, a smirk growing on his lips, moving one of his hands to your head gently tilting it to put his head into the crook of your neck tracing the spot with his tongue before he sunk his teeth in.

Your body jolted under him, cunt clenching his cock tightly making him grunt out your name as you moaned loudly. Licking the wound clean before he picked his head up staring down at you, tears flowing down your pink cheeks. You stared up at him, blood dripping down the corner of his lips, his hand coming up to wipe your tears away. “Sorry” he cooed into your ear nibbling at it softly. You pulled him down for a kiss, licking the remaining blood away before shoving your tongue into his mouth. He pulled out just a bit before shoving it back in, the tip kissing the entrance of your cervix. Moans dying on his tongue.

His hips driving into yours repeatedly made your eyes roll to the back of your head as you gasped for air, his hand softly squeezing your throat. Keeping his eyes on you he watched back and forth you breasts bouncing and the way your face looks each time he pulled out started his whole process over again. He was losing his mind when you cunt pulsated around him, huffing out air “y/n- your pussy is going to make me cum if it keeps squeezing me like that. Need you to cum first” Akaza said in between grunted.

Removing his hold on your throat he put his thumb to your clit rubbing at it to match the pace he jackhammered into you. “A-Akaza too much a-ah s-slow down” you whined, your knuckles turning white with the grip on your kimono. “What you gotta cum? Is that why you want me to slow down? Don’t want this to be over?” He said, his eyes bore into yours, your mouth staying gaped while he kept his pace giving one hard thrust to get a response from you.

“Yes!” You cried, biting down on your inner cheek. The knot in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter each time his cock hit your gspot.

“Go on cum, cum on my cock. I won’t stop fucking you till you’ve had enough. Ganna fuck you till you can’t walk I’ll have to carry you back to Muzan.” Akaza said with a cocky grin on his face. Tossing his head back at the feeling of your sweet body squeezing him.

Putting more pressure on your clit as he did deep hard thrusts made you lick your legs around his waist. Your legs spasmed around his waist as your cunt squeezed him one last time before the knot in the stomach snapped. “That’s my girl” Akaza praised. Cumming hard all over his cock moaning his name repeatedly as he kept his pace enjoying how you sounded. Moaning at how tight your cunt became. Letting you ride out your high before he pulled out, your cunt clutching around nothing making you groan at the feeling of being empty.

“Don’t whine just yet I’m not done” Akaza said, placing a kiss on your lips before going back to sitting up on his knees. Pushing your legs up to your chest he positioned himself above you, aligning himself back up against before thrusting back into your dripping cunt. You screamed out his name with the new feeling of his cock going deeper in this new position. Jackhammering into you as his fingers dug into your thighs “f-fuck” he grunted.

His hand reached down to your nipple pinching it making you moan out his name. His hair stuck to his forehead with sweat as his pace continued. Hard quick thrusts filling you up completely, your cunt becoming tighter and tighter with each movement. “H-have to a-ah fuck Cum y/n” he blurt out quickly. His thrusts becoming sloppy as he put his head down, mouth gaped a he groaned your name his cock twitching inside of you as his cum filled you up, still thrusting a ring of white formed on the base of his cock. Once his cock stopped twitching inside he pulled out and collapsed next to you.

Your chests heaving in sync as the two of you attempted to catch your breaths. He turned to his side pulling you into his arms resting his head on your shoulder. Kissing the spot he left where he left a wound. “Never letting you go” he said softly. “Promise?” You asked, picking his up from your shoulder he squeezed you into his arms “mhm. We should get you dressed, isn't it cold for you?” Akaza asked. The burning feeling that was once going through your veins went away making you grow goosebumps all over your skin. Quickly redressing while Akaza did the same.

“Can you walk?” Akaza softly chuckled at his question knowing the answer was definitely a no.

“Too sore” you sheeply said. Picking you up into his arms he began walking into the direction of where Muzan at.

-

Muzan tried his best to hold in his laugh while he stared at the two of you. Cheeks red with a secret and he knew just what that secret was since he planned the whole thing out. He was tired of watching you flirt but not act on your feelings for one another. Dismissing the two of you away he sighed to himself “and they say I’m cruel”

From that day forward Akaza stayed by your side.

-

Kinktober Masterlist

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[askprotoroll]

What is the “Roll Z” outfit about?

Oh-ho-ho! I have been waiting for someone to ask about that.

See, about a month ago, a friend of mine showed me this video by man on the internet.

Listening to it, I couldn't help but picture Roll in place of Zero, and thus, I drew up this:

Now, I don't have a solid nor canon X timeline just yet because there's several ways it could go.

Please also keep in mind that I have never played the X games, so if I get anything wrong, I'm sorry!

All the timeline ideas start at the end of the golden age of robotics. Robot masters have been made illegal because of all of Wily's attacks, and so they're ordered by the government to (unfortunately) be deactivated. Including the light children. Light and Wily both end up going into hiding.

Roll, of course, did not agree with this and ran. But, she somehow gets damaged in the process. (The scenario I imagine the most is a building collapsing on top of her.)

This is where the timeline splits.

Timeline idea one:

The first idea I had has Wily finding Roll after she's damaged and decides to use her to get the final one up on Light.

He upgrades her to be the Z look, and much like with Zero, he implants the maverick virus into the gem on her helmet and seals her away, making her an unwitting pawn in his final plan.

Wily did not do anything to make her loyal to him because he knew it wouldn't work. He also knows the virus will likely not affect her either because of her sentience. (which is probably dumb in hindsight because she was affected by roboenza. Maybe the cure made her immune? Idk)

Light, in the meantime, is working on creating X (the timeline also splits here, but I'll get to that later) and passes away while X is in containment doing the final checks, as per the normal x timeline.

Now... Whether or not X is found before Roll is up for debate (as i said, i never played the X games), all I know is Dr Cain still finds X, and Sigma finds Roll.

Roll is initially hesitant to trust Sigma, even fighting him at first, but she is convinced to stop, and she does end up joining and becoming one of the top maverick hunters.

That'd be where Roll meets X...

The timeline will most likely go on like the games from there.

Timeline idea two:

Much like timeline one, Wily finds and upgrades Roll. But unlike timeline one, Wily has a change of heart, not wanting his legacy to only be destructive.

In this timeline, Zero DOES exist, but he is unfinished, and the maverick virus is in him instead of Roll.

Everything else is like timeline one, except Roll may end up finding Zero at some point.

Dunno what she'd do. Maybe if she had a dream sequence like Zero did in one of the games of Wily telling her to "fix his mistakes," she'd destroy him or something.

Timeline Idea three:

This timeline can be a variation of one or two interchangeably because the change here is involving Light, and is actually somewhat based on an AU my friend has.

In this timeline, Light ends up taking Rock with him into hiding and upgrades him instead of building X.

Everything else carries on like timelines one or two up until "Rock X" ends up meeting "Roll Z"...

After that, everything would carry on the same.

Timeline idea four:

This last idea is something I got from this video of a protoman rom hack for Mega Man X 1

This time, instead of Wily finding Roll, It's light who finds her and upgrades her, which would include fixing her core because ley me just sat this now,

Because Dr Light is the one who made Roll's experimental core, only HE can fix it since he's the only one who knows how it works. That doesn't mean it can't be maintained by others, though.

This means that in the other timelines, Roll likely still has that issue with her core.

This also means that Zero exists, too, but this time is fully completed. Although honestly, I imagine that Zero is built to be a girl in these timelines because I read somewhere that Zero was based on Protoman, and since he'd technically be based on Roll in this timeline...

I'm not sure what the dynamic between Roll and Zero would be to be perfectly honest. Neither of them would know about Zero being built by wily unless Zero tells Roll about that dream sequence.

Then again, he apparently asked light about it, and Light claimed he didn't know so... that's up in the air I guess.

There are several more possibilities I haven't covered here, like if Blues was taken to be upgraded by Light or if Roll wasn't found by anyone. But the four I talked about are the ones I think about most.

As I said, I don't know which one is the "canon" timeline for the AU. Buuut I think I should mention this-

When the robot masters are deactivated, I personally think that they were all preserved in a museum somewhere. It'd be such a shame otherwise. Plus, it means that, one day, Roll would be able to see Rock and Blues in some form.

Despite the rough patches in their history, Roll loves her brothers and would very much miss them.

I'll probably end up drawing more of Proto!Roll Z eventually.

For now, enjoy this little bit of dialogue I imagine being shared between X and Roll

X: "So, you were the first of the Robot masters?"

Roll: "I was the prototype, yes."

X: "You were made by Dr Light too?"

Roll: "Mhmm.."

X: "That would make you my sister, right?"

Roll: "...huh. yeah, I guess it would."

- Melody

[callsigndragon]

Seeing Red | Ch. 51: Checkmate (Part I)

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, death, weapons, killing, mama and papa bear seresin are here to stay. angst angst aNGST, mentions of pregnancy, supportive fam… and a cliffhanger

A/N: besties, this is so long that i had to split it in half. second part of the chapter will be published today as well, don’t worry.

Follow @jinxlibrary for notifications! Masterlist is on pinned.

IMPORTANT DATA FOR THE CHAPTER: There's a mention of a chess move in the chapter. It's called promotion. When a pawn reaches the end of the board it “promotes”, it turns into another piece. Most of the time players promote to a queen, but a rook, knight, or bishop is also possible.

“For the hundredth time, I didn’t see anyone, McGee.” You reply, tired of the same questions. He’s been asking them for an hour now. 

"Are you sure? Because maybe you saw a tattoo or something?" He insists, looking at you. 

"McGee, she said she didn't see anything." Jake, who is standing next to you, glares at the agent and tells him to stop asking questions. McGee closes his notepad, rolls his eyes, and leaves the room.

You turn in the hospital gurney you've been sitting in since Jake brought you there. He didn’t accept "no" for an answer, and once he felt the swelling in the back of your head, where the kidnapper had hit you, he rushed you to the ER. Doc happened to be there once the two of you entered, with white faces and void eyes. She knew that something had happened, and even though she’s a pediatrician and adults aren’t her specialty, she insisted on taking care of you. 

That’s when she found out you were pregnant. It was still too early to see anything in an ultrasound, but she asked for some blood tests, and when they came back, everything was okay and the pregnancy test was positive. 

Jake hadn't left you once in all the time you'd been in the hospital, his hand always on yours, wedding bands in constant contact. Neither of you has said a word, both of you are silently blaming yourselves for something that is not your fault. The only one to blame here is the one who planned this, the one who has been trying to hurt you every day since you came back together.

And you want to talk to him to convince him that he did the right thing. That he’s not the one to blame for leaving you alone. You were supposed to be safe while in base, and for some reason, that security had been taken away from you as well as your kid. 

But you can’t tell him that when your own thoughts and the voices inside your head are screaming at you to do something, to get up from that blue bed and search far and wide until you find your son. 

Your body, however, is completely stiff and frozen. 

“Red, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you al-” You cover his mouth with your hand, and the action makes him look at you with a raised brow. 

“It’s not your fault. Someone got into base, and we don’t know how. But it’s not your fault, Jake.” 

"How are you so calm?" He asks with a broken voice, hand caressing your arm. “I can’t even think properly.” 

You sigh, looking down at his hands. “It’s a game, Jake.”

“What?” 

You caress his cheek softly, somehow the action brings comfort to the two of you. “What did he leave for you in that box?” 

“A red queen.” 

You move your hand to your pocket, getting out another chess piece. Is a white pawn. “Liam is only a pawn, Jake. He won’t hurt him.” 

Jake takes the piece in his hand, looking at it. “Why didn’t you tell McGee about this?” 

“Because he took our pawn, and now it’s our turn to make a move. We can't involve the police or the NCIS in this.”

"You have a white pawn, while I have a red queen. Why?" 

"I think the queen was just to scare you, to remind you of something you lost in the past. The pawn, however, is something that is missing now. In chess, the pawn is a piece that can become something else." You explain, observing how Jake's fingers turn the pawn around. It reminds you of how he plays with Liam's fingers when he falls asleep on his chest while watching a movie. 

Jake raises his head slowly, the meaning behind your words hitting him instantly. "A promotion." 

"If he doesn't get his knight back…" You begin, getting up from the bed. 

"...he will turn the pawn into a knight." You nod, watching as he closes his eyes in desperation. “If I had stayed with him, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

“If you didn’t run away, Liam wouldn’t exist. So please, stop blaming yourself.” You reassure him, trying to make him understand that this is not his fault. “Jake, I wouldn’t change a thing in my life. I would choose you in every single lifetime.” 

Jake nods absentmindedly, pulling from his pocket the red queen piece that McGee gave him early. It didn't have fingerprints. "What are we gonna do, Red?" 

“We need to make a move.” You hear someone getting close to the room, and you hide the pawn in Jake’s pocket. Both of you turn around, waiting to see who’s coming. You relax when you see Mav and Iceman. 

“There you are. I’m so sorry, guys.” Mav says as he opens his arms and approaches you both. You let Jake be the first to receive Mav's embrace. “I won’t ask how you’re feeling because I could never comprehend the pain you’re feeling.” 

Jake steps back, sniffling and wiping a stray tear with his fingertips. You let Mav hug you now, the warmth of his body making you feel better and worse at the same time. “We’re not good. And we won’t be until we get our baby back.” You explain, hugging Jake’s arm. 

“Those guys, Tony and Tim, they are talking about search warrants and stuff like that.” Ice mumbles, looking between you and Jake. “I’m sorry. I swore that you’d be safe here and I didn’t keep my word.”

“Ice, you couldn’t have prevented this.” You reply, trying to make him feel better. It’s futile, and you know it. Nobody will feel better until you bring Liam back home. 

“I could have tried. I never thought one of us could make this.” He says, sitting on the bed. 

You frown at his words. “Wait, one of us? What do you mean by one of us?” 

“Apparently, a person from the base took him. He had been relocated here from another base five months ago.” 

“Do you have a picture or something?” Jake urges, wanting to know who this man who has kidnapped your baby is. 

Ice takes out his phone, tapping at it several times until he finds the picture he’s looking for. He turns it around, and you don’t recognize him. Average white man, blue eyes, dark hair with a buzz cut. It would be like every other man you see almost every day at base if it weren’t for the large scar crossing his left eye. 

“I haven’t seen him.” You comment, looking at Jake, whose hands are balled into fists. “Jake?” 

“His name is Vlad. He works with my dad.” He reveals, a muscle in his jaw twitching. “Vlad is Gregory’s left hand.” 

Mav looks at Ice, deception all over his face. He’s not mad at him, however. He’s mad with the system that didn’t work. “How is it possible that nobody saw a connection with him?” 

“Because never uses his real name. There’s no way we could have linked him with Gregory.” Jake sighs, rubbing the sides of his head. “Look, I appreciate that you tell me who took my son, but I already know that. What I want to know is what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.” 

“Jake,” you warn him, knowing that he’s about to snap at the wrong people. Mav and Ice don’t deserve it. 

“I don’t care about what the NCIS says, Red. I’m not gonna stay here and wait for them to bring my kid back.” He barks, almost throwing the phone against the wall. Lucky for Ice, he manages to get it from Jake’s hands in time. 

“But you don’t know where he is, Jake. You need to wait.” Mav reminds him, patting his back. 

That’s right. You don’t know where Liam is, and you need NCIS help to find him. 

Wait. 

You know where he is. 

“Oh my god, I’m so fucking stupid.” You get your phone out of your bag, and try to unlock it, but you’re so nervous that you keep pressing the wrong numbers. “Come on, you fucking useless block.” 

“Red, what are you doing?” Jake questions, looking over your shoulder to see what you’re doing. 

“Liam has a GPS in his pants.” You almost scream when you can’t unlock the stupid phone. Jake opens his hand, waiting for you to give him the phone. You do, as you watch him unlock it in one go, his hands more steady than yours. 

“A GPS?” Iceman inquires, surprised but relieved that you can track your child. 

“Sarge, well, Payback’s wife, bought it. I sewed a hidden pocket in every single one of his pants, and I’ve been hiding it, just in case.” You confess, logging into the app that is connected to the tracking device. 

“Why didn't I know about this?” Jake mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I don’t know, I just thought the less people knew about it, the better.” You reply, not looking away from the screen, and sigh in relief when you see that the tracking device is working. The signal is moving north, too fast to be on a car. 

“He’s flying.” Jake comes to the same conclusion as you. 

“Someone stole one helicopter.” Ice adds, and now you know how Liam has disappeared so quickly. 

“But where are they going?” 

Jake takes the phone again, moving the map to see what cities are ahead of them. “Hidden Hills.” 

“What’s in Hidden Hills?” You inquire, locking the phone and looking around the room at Jake, who is now pacing. 

"The house where I grew up." 

The image that not so long ago danced around in your brain, the one that featured a small kid that looked like Liam, a kid that wandered in a gigantic mansion with dark and infinite walls, comes back to your mind to haunt you. But this time, the kid is Liam. You need to rescue your son. 

“We need a helicopter.” You glance in Ice’s direction, asking silently for permission. 

“I can’t. A kid has disappeared, and we’re not allowed to move out of the base until he appears.” 

“We’re fucked up, then.” 

"Take my bike. Go get your son." Mav stuffs a hand in his pocket, reaching for his motorcycle keys.

"But we can't leave," you say, looking out the window and counting the car patrols outside the building. Tony called them when you were brought to the ER, not wanting another member of the Seresin family to disappear. “The moment we step out of the hospital, one of those officers will follow every step we make.” 

“And that’s my cue.” 

After hearing the female voice, you turn around to see Sarge and Payback standing there with the rest of the Daggers behind them. You can feel your chest swell with pride at the people in front of you, your family, who have always claimed that when the time comes, they’ll be with you, for better or worse. And here they are. 

“Oh my god, Sarge.” You go with them, feeling dozens of arms surrounding you in a big, comforting hug. “The GPS is working, I know where he is.” 

“Told ya it would work.” She smiles, patting your hair. 

The guys look at Jake, who is leaning against the wall and not looking at them. “Jake, come on. This is not your fault.” 

“I will punch the next one that says that.” He grunts, lifting his eyes from the floor to glare at Rooster. “And you know how much it hurts.”

“We’re losing precious time here.” Nat mumbles, looking outside the door. “There’s a car in the underground parking.” 

Jake hears Nat’s words and takes a deep breath. He knows what they’re implying. Take the car and drive to Hidden Hills. He would do it in a heartbeat, but there’s a problem. 

He knows you’re going to insist on coming with him. He can’t have two babies in that house. 

“You’re staying, Red.” 

“You’re not going anywhere without me.” You retort, not looking at him. 

Jake grabs you softly by the arm, turning you around. “I can’t put another baby at risk.” 

“Another baby?” Bob repeats. “Red, are you pregnant?” 

“Yes, I'm pregnant. But Jake, you need me.” You insist, ignoring the excited laughs from the daggers. “You can’t go there alone. He won’t let you go.” 

“I can’t have another one of my babies in that house.” 

You press a hand against his chest, closing your eyes and preparing yourself for the next words you’re going to say. “Jake, we can make another baby. But there’s only one you.” 

"I went to the station and got you vests. You’ll be okay. You have everything you need in the truck.” Sarge's hand closes around yours, pressing the car keys against your skin. "He's one hour ahead of you. You need to go now." 

You never take your eyes away from Jake's, which are narrowed in tension and darting all over your face. Words wouldn't be able to express all the emotions that are running through his head right now. Rage, terror, fury—all conveyed in one single green stare. 

"If anything happens to you now that I have you back..." His voice falters, cracking with unshed tears that break the remains of your heart. Promising that everything will be okay is cruel and unfair. The chances of coming back with your kid are low. But you have to take risks, or you won’t see Liam again. 

“Nothing will happen to me.” You promise him, kissing him softly while all the voices in your head scream at you, calling you a liar. You know, and you’re sure he knows too, that you’ll risk everything to make sure that Liam and Jake come back safe to San Diego. Even if that means sacrificing yourself.

“Shit, that Italian agent is coming.” Mickey whisper-yells, and you grab Jake’s hand. 

“Doc, is there an elevator that goes to the underground parking?” You ask her, and she quickly nods, handing you two white coats like the one she’s wearing. 

“Wear this. It’ll make you look like a doctor, and they won’t stop you.” 

You hug all of them quickly and follow Doc, who is quickly turning around corners until she finds the elevator she’s looking for. “It’s this one. Be careful, okay?” 

Jake watches as you hug her; the woman is almost tearing up at the thought of something happening to any of you. You whisper something in her ear, something you can’t hear, and she nods, pushing both of you inside the elevator once the doors open. 

You can see her tears before the doors close again. 

It’s a two hour trip until you get to Hidden Hills. Almost three, actually. And you don't even know how you're going to pass through security once you're there. Hidden Hills is a safe place for celebrities and rich people. No one passes security without previous authorization. 

"Jake, we won't be able to pass the guard without being noticed." 

"We're not using the main entrance, sweets." He says this while taking his hand off the steering wheel and searching for yours. "My father's house has a secret tunnel. That's our way in." 

You nod, looking outside the window. It's so dark outside that you can barely see anything, just trees passing by in a blur. The obscurity is disturbed once in a while by the car lights in the other lane, a brief moment of light in the moonless night. 

"Once we get Liam, you're running the fuck out." He orders, his eyes focused on the road ahead. 

You shake your head. "I'm not leaving without you." 

"Liam is the main priority, Red. He won't hurt him or me. He needs us, you said it yourself." 

"Why is he so desperate? Why does he need an heir so bad?" 

Jake moves your intertwined hands to his lips, softly kissing your knuckles. You don’t know if the action is supposed to calm you or him. "I don't care. He took our kid. That's the last straw." 

Your voice comes out in a shaky breath when you pronounce your next words. "You know there's only one way of ending this, right?" 

"We've killed people before, Red."

"Pressing a button while I'm flying. I never had to see the face of the target I'm trying to eliminate!" You protest, feeling a throbbing headache take over your body. 

"You won't have to pull the trigger." 

You don't say anything after that. The seriousness in his voice makes you ponder how many times he has dreamed of this moment, of finally having the opportunity to put an end to a lifetime of nightmares and psychological torture. You can't even imagine how bad a father has to be for his own son to think about killing him. 

You're glad you don't know. 

"Rest a bit, okay? I'll wake you up when we're there." 

"Promise me that you won't leave me in the car." 

"If I go inside that house alone, who's gonna get Liam out?" 

Yeah, he needs you to get Liam to a safe place. You can close your eyes, knowing that we won't try to play hero and leave without you. 

The secret tunnel Jake mentioned is hidden in a hillside. At the top of that hill is Jake's childhood home. Jake parks the car behind some tall bushes, drumming his fingers against the wheel. He's nervous and scared.

"Let's see what Sarge gave us." You mutter, opening the door and getting out of the car, walking slowly, a part of you not wanting to open the truck and check the contents. Doing it means facing the idea that you may become a murderer, with all the consequences that entails. 

Sarge has provided you with almost everything you might need: bulletproof vests, tactical boots, knives, boxing hand wraps, belts filled with magazines for the guns… 

"Why the hand wraps?" Jake inquires, grabbing one of the pairs. 

"It prevents bruised knuckles." You explain, looking at your hands. "We have to take our rings off." 

Jake slips the platinum band off his finger and hides it in one of the vest pockets. "This will work."

You suit up quietly, not even speaking when you need his help to close the vest, or to help you wrap your hands. A soft touch on his arm is enough for him to know that you need him. It's similar to when you're cooking at home—soft touches to catch the other person's attention, no need for words. It's always been like this. And a part of you seems to find comfort in the fact that even at the worst moments, you're still in sync. 

Jake doesn't let go of your hands when he finishes wrapping them. You raise your head, watching how he struggles to keep his eyes open, knowing that the moment he blinks, tears will run freely down his face. He can't cry. It's not the moment to cry. 

"It's only been what… three months since I got you back?" He mumbles, his words forming a lump on his throat that doesn't seem to go away. "And I might lose you again." 

"You're not gonna lose me." Jake leans down to press his forehead against yours as you cup his face between your hands. "We're gonna go in there, get our kid, and walk out without a scratch." 

He nods, kissing your forehead, your nose, and your lips in that order. You've always wondered how a final kiss before a battle felt, if it was truly filled with all the emotions you couldn't express aloud in such a short period of time. 

It is probably the best kiss you've ever had.

Jake wipes his face, taking a deep breath, and when he opens them again, you can't see a single trace of Jake in them. 

That's Hangman. Fierce, determined, and deadly. 

"Let's go get Liam," he says, cocking his gun. 

You nod, following him towards the tunnel.

[ancunincurator]

Astarion musings #2

Adding on to a point I made in this post about Astarion planning to turn you when he ascends ever since he learned about the ritual's power...

Just to be clear, I don't think for one second Astarion plans to make you his spawn, not before he ascends. As power hungry as he is, that hunger comes from fear of being a pawn in someone else's chess game and needing to become king to keep from getting so easily kocked off the board. But he doesn't see you as a player looking to use him for your own gains. In fact, as stated by Durge's funky little butler, you're the only person in the world he isn't afraid of. But I believe he is afraid of losing you, in more ways than one, and so he plans to stop that from happening. And while his #1 goal is to ascend for his own sake, we know that he cares deeply about your safety too.

"I'm also worried about me, But somehow, I seem to be worried about you more." (He says this to Durge btw)

As manipulative as he is in Act 3, driven by proximity to Cazador and prospective freedom I assume, I think he fully intends to share his ascendant powers with you as equals so you can take on the world together. Forever. (Because forever sounds nice in the moment, but in 1000 years? We all know he hasn't thought that far ahead). This is before he knows the true cost, of course. When there's enough gaps in knowledge of the ritual to fill them in with fantasies.

You won't be a spawn, it will be different, you'll see it clearly when the time comes.

And even if we ignore his fear about losing the one thing that's brought him comfort in 200 years, there's also the fact he is the most insecure about not sleeping with you. About having nothing to offer other than "New burdens to carry". So what could be a better prospect than providing your lover with eternity and unfathomable new powers? Which is why I actually love that we have to persuade him not to ascend. He doesn't believe he is enough, but even with this new potential right there in his grasp, you tell him the same thing you always have:

That he is and always has been.

It's so important to portray how different life can be just by having the right people around to show you a new way. He's drowning in shame, fear, the potential of power. But you can be the hand reaching down to pull him back toward the surface to take his first breath of true freedom. It's also why I love that he doesn't drink from Cazador to become a true vampire (assuming he doesn't need Cazador's permission). Because it shows he's ready to accept who he is and isn't striving to be anything more.

Because of all this, more than anything ascended Astarion just makes me sad. I mean, I enjoy digging into the darkness of it. The potential of that storyline is so juicy and I love a monstrous vampire. But my fragile little human emotions get hurt when I see it. Ascension is a twisted wish. That desire to share power to keep a loved one safe becomes covetous. He could share it with you, but why create a competitor? While spawn and ascendant both fear losing you, spawn fears losing someone he loves, someone he's learning to live again with. Ascendant fears losing you because he's on a winning streak, it would sting his pride terribly if you were to leave. He didn't learn anything, he's still afraid. And while you're the only one he can trust, it's not unwavering. You'll belong to him or you're not worth the risk. Ascended Astarion literally says, if you refuse to become his spawn and break up with him, that you didn't become part of his conquest. As if you're something to beat into submission, subdue and take ownership of.

And I know ascended Astarion isn't some stranger who wears Astarion's face. He's what happens when you stop trying to be better, to be more than the hurt and the terrible things that happened to you. It's accepting the world view that's been beaten into you: that power is freedom, and freedom is doing whatever the hell you want without fear or consequence. And if you're not strong enough to take that power for yourself? Well, then perhaps you deserve to suffer, darling. It's a far easier way to cope with trauma than the alternative, to try and claw back any semblance of the world view that was beaten out of you, or create a new one for yourself. It's a path I've walked, am still walking, and I stumble all the time.

And as a side note, in regards to what Neil said about spawn wearing a mask... We all do. Sometimes it's to project who we want to be, or who we're trying our hardest to be. Sometimes it's to hide how bitter and wounded we feel. But better to wear a mask and try, to work towards a day when you won't need it anymore, then to throw it away because you've given into your worst self and the world can kneel or rot.

So yeah... I think Astarion always intended to turn you. But not always in the worst way. First it was out of love, then out of possession. But both times out of fear.