#so I highly recommend you to check her music out! she's so special and so worth it

[jdschecter]

I don't like the people who talk about things that they don't really know as if they knew everything. I love the ones who are able to be as they are, without complexes or showing their flaws. I like the natural, what is done and isn't said.

[sanigopiece]

why uta is a well-written character

reposted from twitter since i saw uta get a lot of hate on there. a lot of people seem to not get her character so i am writing this post in hopes of getting people to see the light. anyways here we go,

1. her motivations are well supported by her backstory. it all began in the tragedy in elegia years prior where shanks took the blame for the destruction of the city and left uta in the care of gordon. this led uta to being forced into a life of loneliness and isolation for the rest of her growing up years.

these feelings accumulate while she studies music until she eventually finds a den den mushi to livestream her performance. here she learns of the harshness of pirates in the outside world and coupled with her resentment towards the red haired pirates for leaving her motivates her to revisit her old dream of starting a new genesis. this is a solid way of story cohesion between uta's backstory and her actions in the present. everything ties in very nicely & its easy to understand & empathize with.

2) i've seen some complain about how uta saying that she knew all along that she had caused the destruction of elegia & called it bad writing. this was actually her way of coping with the years of isolation but also her grief in shanks leaving her.

i speculate that uta realized she caused the destruction of elegia when she learned about tot musica and when faced with this, she chooses to find someone else to blame because guilt ate away at her so she chose to continue believing the lie that shanks did it. so it isnt bad writing because we are given more context on her mental state at the time and it is meant to be a gateway for viewers to empathize with her more but i guess people missed that.

3. she is not entirely evil. yes she is a villain because she believes she is doing whats right in order to achieve her goal however she still has goodness in her heart. she could've easily kept people trapped in the song world after tot musica was defeated.

but she didnt because she realized that what she did was wrong and she changed for the better. yes there's moments in the film where she does upsetting things like tearing shanks's hat but these were done in her mentally unstable state so it is unfair to entirely fault her for her actions. she is merely a misguided and misunderstood lonely girl with a dream so dont be so hard on her. she is good deep down.

4. her character is unique. already a given since we dont have that many music centric characters except maybe brook but even brook's powers aren't linked to music so uta is really special. also her songs carry so much meaning and not only does it set the mood for most scenes but it also adds to the story. i highly recommend checking out the lyrics of each uta song because they really tie in to the events of the story and you might just enjoy her character more.

5. her canonity adds more flare to the story. oda recently confirmed uta to be canon and this means a lot to both shanks and luffy's backstory. it does not detract from their backstories but rather it gives more context like how we understand a lot more about luffy's dream and why he wants a musician in his crew thanks to uta.

as for shanks, he now has more reason of being and we also got some clues to his lineage in the movie. this is really nice since most shoe horned characters have issues when they're added to canon.

alright so thats all. its been quite the long thread but i love uta and i want more people to appreciate her instead of hating or mischaracterizing her. if i missed anything do let me know. thanks and have a nice day <3

[littleclownopinions]

The Haunting Perfection of Ballora

Slight Content warning: Mentions of child murder

With Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted 2 releasing sometime next month, we will be seeing the return of everybody's favourite ballerina, so I thought this would be a good time to start talking about her again. Now, as much as I hope this will mean the inclusion of some much needed lore for our girl, this is not what I wish to solely focus on today. Although we will touch on the topic, I'd mostly like to talk about Ballora's overall design and how she left such an impact on me in the short amount of time we had with her.

Ballora is arguably the single most humanoid animatronic in the game's canon. While Circus Baby is obviously human-like, Ballora is especially human because of her proportions. Her figure, her hands and her facial structure all really bring her to life. Now, here is where I will briefly interject to mention the "who/why" of it all because I think regardless of how little we know about Ballora, these questions play an important part in understanding her human appearance. Circus Baby is the only other humanoid animatronic we have in the game, but we know her place. Being modelled after and later killing William Afton's daughter, Elizabeth, she is an important character to the story and lore. So then, who is Ballora and why is she so human? Well, although I don't have any definitive answers, many have speculated that Ballora is, in some way, connected to/representative of Mrs. Afton. As a result, it's become difficult for me personally to separate her from the image of a motherly figure, which I think adds some layers to her creep-factor. I mean, a mother is supposed to keep children safe, right? ...Right?

Now, in Sister Location we get the following blue prints.

Points B and C are pretty self explanatory. Ballora can stabilise herself and alert herself to any objects that may cause a collision to prevent accidents. However, points A and B are a little trickier to discern any actual meaning from at first glance. For a full run down of all the Sister Location blueprints as well as theories on how the animatronics work together to fulfil their 'purposes', I'll refer you to this post by an unfortunately deleted user. The important takeaway is as follows: Ballora is all about audio. She can sing, play music and she herself can even hear. However, she doesn't use these features for killing, at least not primarily. She, like Funtime Foxy, is more of a lure for kids and adults alike, to gather them away from Circus Baby and/or Funtime Freddy as they are the designated killers. She uses her voice and her music related functions as bait to aid them. I highly recommend checking out the post if you get the chance.

Moving on, I wanna talk about Five Nights at Freddy's AR: Special Delivery. Scott Cawthon said on a steam post in 2016 "I would imagine that she actually glides on a track most of the time, but after leaving the track she uses all four limbs to crawl more like a spider." This is exactly what we see in Special Delivery. Ballora is one of the only animatronics to crawl at the player, rather than the usual walk/run. As Scott mentioned, it gives her a spider-like quality that I think contrasts her elegance in a super neat way. She becomes this really unsettling, distressing creature, rather than the dainty and beautiful ballerina we came to know in Sister Location. We also see in both games the long, sharp teeth that fill out her mouth under her face plates which I think add to what I mentioned above. Here's a lovely image of what her crawl looks like for any previously lucky readers than might have never seen it before. :)

I think Ballora is a really intriguing character to talk about. On one hand I do think there's a point to be made about her having some connection to the Afton family. Afterall, the other Funtime Animatronics are pink, the colour most associated with ballerinas. So, why was Ballora given a purple and blue colour palate instead? She was also built around the same time as Circus Baby, a character that was modelled after the likeness of a specific someone, so, surely she, being so humanoid, must have been modelled after someone too? Don't even get me started on her song. The amount of ways you can interpret the first 4 lines alone is something I think we all still struggle with. That said, I do understand people not buying into the theory. There hasn't been much tangible evidence to properly give the theory legs, none of what I've said can sustain it alone.

Regardless of where you stand with her in terms of the lore, I still love Ballora's design and overall aesthetic. The sad ballerina left dancing through the halls of an empty gallery, struggling to find her place in the story or the world she was born into. She has a melancholy about her but, as we see in Special Delivery, she also has this animalistic nature that makes her incredibly nerve-wracking to come face-to-face with. Overall, I think Ballora has a bone chilling design and I hope we see a lot more of her in Help Wanted 2. I don't think she was given the time of day to truly shine and reach her potential, but here's to the future of FNAF, I cant wait to see what it has in store!

[drgrlfriend]

For the ask game : 🍓, 🎨 and 🥤

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? I read fanfiction waaaaaay back in the early days of the X-Files fandom, when it was circulated through self-extracting archive files on message boards and in chatrooms. And then I totally fell out of it until someone on an unrelated board mentioned loving fanfic and I figured I should check it out. I went to fanfiction.net and the most popular fandom was High School Musical or Glee or something, and the second most popular was Pirates of the Caribbean, and then the third was X-Men. So, I clicked on X-Men, and then got sucked into the Wolverine/Rogue fandom, and that's how I got back into reading fanfic.

For writing fanfic, there was a really well-written fic in which (adult) Rogue and Logan were a couple and they experience a miscarriage, and they are both kind of caught up in blaming themselves. It ended on a really ambiguous note -- like, one of them reaches out and the phone is ringing and you don't know if the other person would answer. I had actually recently miscarried myself, and I literally COULD NOT SLEEP thinking about this fic. I wrote a happy ending continuation of it, and emailed it to the author, which in retrospect was SO RUDE and thank goodness she was very sweet and supportive about it and encouraged me to post it, and so I did. And the rest is history! I'm pretty much a one-ship-at-a-time person and hopped from Rogan to Johnlock to Sterek to Winterhawk.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

Absolutely love this one. The composition, the way they are both so beat-up looking but resolute, how they are covering each other. Just perfection. https://templeait.tumblr.com/post/143349494965/two-assassins-sitting-on-a-beam-s-n-i-p-i-n-g

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Soooooo many. But, a special shoutout to @kangofu-cb who is an amazing writer and just all around the heart of the Winterhawk fandom to me. Her Halfway House series is next on my list to reread, and if you haven't checked it out yet I highly recommend!

[apricityxys]

post that is pinned

I’m apri or April! I use all the pronouns but usually she/her. I draw sometimes!

Basic rules!

don’t send me nsfw stuff

No personal questions! I’ll just delete your ask

don’t be homophobic or transphobic, or bigoted in any other sort of way around here, I’ll block you

blank blogs get blocked <3

you can tag me in picrew chains and other reblog games if you’d like to! I don’t bite!

my archive blog is @apricity-archive! That’s where I put things I want to be able to find later, and it’s more curated than this if you’d like a better organized experience lol

Shoutouts!

I am @wimblton475’s biggest ever fan. Hi wimbl your art is the coolest ever

Go subscribe to Alaskan Nymph over on YouTube! She’s got a really awesome chill vibe and I highly recommend her skyblock series if you’re a fan of geminitay.

Credit for things!

— my pfp is from a picrew! I lost the link, if anyone has it please tell me so I can properly credit the owner! (My header image is from the webtoon Crow Time, go check it out!)

— blinkies! “Be nice”, “minecraft roleplay” and “gay deliveroo” are made using blinkies.cafe, with the “minecraft roleplay” and “gay deliveroo” made by wimble! I got the “terfs fuck off” from @/someoneihavelovedbutneverknown!

— my blog title is from “mermaids” by Florence + the machine!

music i like!

The crane wives!

Florence and the machine!

other stuff too but I mostly only post about those two

fandoms I’m in!

(a lot, and I’m probably not going to get them all but here goes!)

Hermitcraft

the life series

empires smp

a little bit of dream smp

genloss, but not really

a little bit of qsmp

nimona (more so the book than the movie)

into/across the spiderverse

Minecraft, as a game

Various webcomics (crow time, high class homos, nothing special)

the good place

severance

she-ra

the owl house

gravity falls

pokemon go (thanks to @/echothelesbo)

probably more, if I think of any I should add I will!

Tags!!

my art (for things I draw!)

posts that make me feel a certain way (self explanatory)

funny haha (funny thing tag)

cool art (art that makes the brain worms really happy)

items (items!)

Blinkie storage!

(Image by @darubyprincx)

Have a lovely day!

[thegamingcatmom]

Imagine us running away from a Maggot Mommy full of accumulated sexual energy while plays Black Betty in the background. In my head it sounds hilarious.

I´ll admit, I had to look that one up on Youtube - don´t judge me! As soon as I heard it, I recognized it. 😅

But omg, what have you done. Now I just can´t unsee it. 🤣🤣

Like, imagine Maggot Momma trying her very best, exerting herself, to get a hold of you but she´s just not able to cause you´re such a slippery little thing, you-

But don´t you think for a moment that this will deter her - on the contrary. It makes her tingle in all the right places, gets her going, awakens the predator in her, urging her to give chase and snatch you right up-!

But speaking of music, I do like listening to a few songs myself whilst writing. 🤭

For one, I LOVE JT Music. In case you don´t know them I highly recommend checking them out. They do all kinds of songs for different games and movies etc. 🥰

Now for Maggot Momma and her special someone I like listening to "Hungry For Another One" - inspired by the game "Little Nightmares" - because what our little Drama Queen is experiencing is basically a nightmare (to them). Granted, not all of the lyrics fit the situation but it´s the overall tone and atmosphere I enjoy. It really helps putting myself in a certain someone´s shoes, so to speak.

The other song I´ve been listening to for the past few days is "Daffodil" from Florence + the Machine.

Again, I´m a huge fan of Florence + the Machine. Her voice is just phenomenal. 🥰

But with "Daffodil" it´s, again, just the overall atmosphere, I love it. It sounds so sinful, almost forbidden in certain parts and it does talk about resurrection and awakening the dead sooo...

So whenever I wanna write from Maggot Momma´s POV I tend to listen to "Daffodil". It just makes me feel...a certain type of way.

Thanks for that ask and the mental images. 😂🥰

[queer-and-nd-coded]

Ok so someone said that in the Rebel Robin: Surviving Hawkins podcast, Robin displays a lot of autistic signs so of course I had to go check it out. It's a really good podcast and I enjoyed every second of it and, as I went through it, I wrote down every single thing that Robin did that could be interpreted as autism.

But of course this doesn't show the whole picture and I did left out some parts that felt like autism but that I couldn't quite explain why... maybe her autistic energy is too strong and it shows on everything she does. With that said, I highly recommend that you go listen to the podcast yourself if you haven't already.

So, here follows the list:

Mr. Hauser: Please sit, make yourself at home Robin: Cool. Well, I- I- I usually sit, um… but I- Mr. Hauser: [laughing] Take any seat you want, the classroom is yours for the next 25 minutes -> I think this bit of dialogue shows her hesitancy over change/doing things differently from what she is used to, not to mention that it’s a different scenario (not a class), so should she sit where she always sits or no?

Robin: [talking about Barb] She’s not like the other kids at school, she’s… weird. Mr. Hauser: How so? Robin: I mean… nevermind. -> It could be that they were hinting at Barb’s sexuality here, since Robin’s sexuality is a big part of why she feels apart from other people, but I think, if that was really the case, she’d have said “different” instead of “weird”.

Very observant of people: “You don’t have to talk to someone to know what’s going on inside their head”, among other commentaries she makes on people like Tammy Thompson and Mr. Hauser himself, analyzing their behaviors and the meaning behind them

Talks a lot about camouflaging. How she pretends to be just the right amount of uninteresting and average to fly under the radar.

Robin: Surviving Hawkins takes a special skill set.

Robin: Barb is like me. Well, not exactly like me. She- she fits better. Probably because she knows how to survive Hawkins better than most people.

[talking about how her and Barb used to be friends in sixth grade] Mr. Hauser: That was… four years ago? Don’t you think people change? Robin: Sure people change but not who they really are, fundamentally, at their core. As much as people might try to dress up in something else. Mr. Hauser: Are you the same girl that you were in sixth grade? Robin: Of course! I’ve always been the weirdest girl in Hawkins.

To the people saying that her special interest is learning languages? Yes. And classic literature as well.

She read books that are not in the school curriculum "for fun", according to her own words

Infodumps about the books she’s read

Tells her teacher that if she can go to him to talk/share, he can do the same with her, which I interpreted as her not knowing/being aware that this isn’t really “socially acceptable” or appropriate and it’s very unlikely that her teacher will take on such a kind offer

Mr. Hauser: Talking with you is… very interesting

Robin: Languages are infinitely more interesting than pop music

It seems like she has no volume control. When she gets really passionate/emotional about what she is saying, she starts to speak louder and I don't think she notices it at all.

She also starts to speak really fast in those moments

Very strong opinions 

Robin: The way you treat people, that’s what matters -> strong sense of justice/holds being kind to other people above all else

Robin: I’m a teenage girl with no friends

Complains multiple times that Hawkins is boring/says that there is nothing to do in Hawkins -> could be a sign of her having ADHD as well

Robin: If I’m totally honest with myself, I’m scared of really, truly rebeling. And it feels like I’m close sometimes, you know? Like I’m almost someone who is unique and interesting and unafraid but the camouflage is working too well and I’ll turn into someone who never fights at all because I never decided who I wanted to be [...] -> it seems to me that here she is talking about masking and unmasking

Mr. Hauser: [...] Maybe you’ll find a place where you don’t need any armor at all

Mr. Hauser: [talking about someone named Dash] You’re friends, right? Robin: Not really…

Robin: Dash, Milton, Kate… I just sit next to them in band, that’s all.

Robin: I don’t know why things need to change all the time [...] I just wish people wouldn’t change so much

[talking about Barb] Mr. Hauser: What happened between you two? Robin: I don’t know! She was in the club with Nancy Wheeler and they started to get close and Barb just… she chose Nancy. Mr. Hauser: She cut you out? Doesn’t seem like Barbara. Robin: No, she wasn’t-... it wasn’t mean or anything, I doubt it was even intentional, it was me. I didn’t wanna be the overachiever that she wanted to be. I wanted to keep dreaming about something more and… I thought Barb did too. But I guess I just… I didn’t fit anymore. Mr. Hauser: I’m sorry. It’s hard, losing a friend. Robin: Yeah… -> here it seems to me that Robin made sense out of what happened between her and Barb the best way she could, without the knowledge of autism and how it makes it harder to make and keep friends. You need to hear it when she says "I don't know!", she sounds so distressed.

Mr. Hauser: You’re always reading something.

Mr. Hauser says her work (essays and such) is restrained. On that, he also says that she is capable of more.

Robin is learning Spanish, Italian and French all at the same time

Robin: Dante wrote in Italian originally, right? That’s the language he spoke, the language he thought in, so it feels like that’s how his story should be read. Reading the English translation, it feels like something was missing. -> just a bit of Robin talking about her special interest. Sorry, I am sort of a language geek myself and I love what she is saying here

Mr. Hauser: Reading your essays, [I] feel like reading a hazily put-together translation. Like there’s some fundamental element of the work that is not being put to the page. Robin: Like I’m holding back?

Robin: I live in two worlds

Just like she says to Nancy in the show that she has no filter, we can notice that as she talks to Mr. Hauser. At some point, she says that he’s got the same look in his face of when someone says something stupid in class and asks him if she’s said anything stupid. This both shows that she has no filter and that she’s very observant of people

On having no filter, she is (almost) always speaking what's on her mind

Mr. Hauser: Isn't it tiring to have to translate yourself to people all the time? Robin: I don’t know. I’ve gotten used to it. It’s safer [...]

It seems to me that she has trouble regulating her emotions. 

She has trouble reading social cues, yes, and trouble predicting/guessing/figuring out other people’s intentions.

At the end of episode 3, there's a reading of the first chapter of the novel, in which Steve enters the History class, says 'hey people' and everyone laughs like they're a part of a sitcom. On that, Robin comments "They know they don't have to do that in real life, right?"

Robin: [rambling about her life] All of this just feels like the Universe is trying to tell me that I am really, really not supposed to have friends

Robin: I'm not sure people my own age can relate to what I'm going through

Robin: Maybe I just can’t keep friends

Robin: Maybe I'm broken. What if there's just something about me that drives people away? [...]

In episode 4, Robin breaks down and says that she always loses her friends and in every occasion, the only common denominator was her so there must be something about her that is "rotten" 

The way she mutters the word "stupid" to herself multiple times whenever she "fails" a social interaction with Mr. Hauser

Sarcasm/irony as part of masking

Feels the need to clarify that she is talking figuratively even though it wasn't really necessary and could be understood by context

Doesn't understand when Mr. Hauser is talking through metaphors and/or using double meaning

Doesn't get why Mr. Hauser has a sad smile on his face when she describes Tammy Thompson. Also, it seems like he caught up on her feelings before she did, which could be alexithymia. 

In the last episode, the whole camouflage/armor metaphor is brought up again in order to talk about hiding one's sexuality in order to fit in/go unnoticed. I think Robin’s sexuality and her autism get mixed up when she camouflages (or masks, as you wish) because if it was all about her sexuality, she wouldn't present all those other signs of autism.

[hello-eeveev]

tagged by @quinn-of-aebradore (and I was tagged in a very similar thing by @spottedenchants a bit ago but didn’t get around to it before this, so I hope you don’t mind me combining them!) thank you :D

Last song I listened to: “Sometime We’ll Understand” from the Lamb of God Easter oratorio by Rob Gardner. With the season and driving by a bunch of churches with Easter signs, I got real nostalgic for Easter music because there are so many great pieces. And Lamb of God holds a lot of memories for me because my dad was the lead cellist for the local production for several years, and I even got to take part one year. And it is just soooo musically tasty and I was just filled with energy listening to it yesterday. The CHOIR, the SOLOISTS, the SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA!!! If you remember me expressing my love for French horns a few weeks ago, Lamb of God played no small part in establishing this opinion. If you don’t mind Christian hymns, I highly recommend checking it out, and all of Rob Gardner’s work because he is truly one of the goats.

Last book I read: I’ve kinda started and stopped a few books recently, not for any particular reason just… idk. So instead I’m gonna plug a fic I’ve been keeping up with that published its final chapter last night: Judgement & Justice! It is such a fascinating and engaging work that explores the details of legally condemning Ikithon, the ways that the law can fail anyone, how even doing something you believe is right can be incredibly traumatizing. As one of the tags says, “the mundane horrors of the criminal justice system”. So good. I highly recommend.

Last film I watched: ummmm, yesterday I saw like 30 minutes of Wish after the school field trip bc the teacher was so kind and said, “nope. interpreters are out of commission. we’re watching a movie.” The music didn’t appeal to me too much, which sucks bc I LOVE Ariana DeBose’s voice. But I will say that the special effect art was sick and some of the character designs are cute!

Last TV series: uhhhh idk I watch a lot of YouTube. Drawfee, Zelda randomizers, that kinda stuff. and critrole obv lol :)

Last thing I googled: “peafowl”. I love birds and will infodump about them and I wanted to show my coworker how different peahens are to peacocks, and most people have no idea they’re called anything but peacocks.

Last thing I ate: ritz crackers and nutella. It’s a combination I wouldn’t have put together of my own accord, but in eighth grade, my friend brought some into history class and convinced me to try it and I’ve been sold ever since.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: Yes. However, savory and spicy go well together, but sweet doesn’t go with either. I have a massive sweet tooth and my mom raised me to have high standards for desserts, so when I have sweets, I want them to be to my taste. I like spicy food and I have a decent spice tolerance. It used to be higher but either adulthood or my anxiety meds reduced it rip :’(

Amount of sleep: ummmm about 6 hours? I should probably be getting more, but unfortunately sleep is boring.

Currently reading: The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner. I’m about halfway through, and it’s pretty enjoyable, but I hear it’s got a good twist later on so I’m excited.

currently obsessed with: you know it’s shadowgast lol. but more specifically I’m still in my How to Rest brainrot. I have a break next week, so I want to get the chapter 6 director’s commentary done and start working on the coda fic bc hnnngggghgg soft wizards.

I’m also obsessed with my cat. She’s turning 6 on Sunday and she’s been so snuggly lately! Look at her!!!

I always feel so awkward about tagging bc I never know who’s already been tagged, so if you want to do this, you are fully allowed to say that I tagged you 💕

[litfeathers]

Behind the scenes of Evelyn's Journal

Since this was a bigger project, I thought I'd make a behind the scenes post to talk about how it came together, and share some easter eggs!

———

Firstly, I want to impress how long it took to record and edit this thing. An almost 15 minute long runtime is a MARATHON! It was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun and definitely worth it!

———

The wanted poster and meetinghouse graffiti are direct references to my fic A Most Certain, Strange, and True Discovery of a Witch. This is the poster Evelyn grabbed on her little vandalism excursion:

———

The frustrated look that Evelyn described Caleb making was this absolute classic:

(the wet cat gene is strong)

———

Evelyn’s bird drawings are a reference to her book of bird sketches from my fic There Are Owls and Witches in These Woods. Her sketch book has been passed down the generations of the Clawthorne family, and is my explanation for why they all have human realm bird palismen! They use her book for ideas! :D

———

Did anyone notice something special or significant about the day Evelyn and Caleb had their picnic? 😏

———

There is an AU where I kept this in /j

———

This is a cut line. I am not sure if this is me talking at the end, or Evelyn lmao

———

...the reason I was watching Elsewhere and Elsewhen in my sound booth? I was listening to Philip’s accent to figure out how Evelyn would imitate Caleb ahahahha

———

If you…let’s say…recognize Evelyn’s cackle?

*Slowly puts her finger on her lips*

Shh. No. No, you don’t. /lh

———

The light spells poofing at the end? That is actually Eda de-transforming from harpy mode at the end of Reaching Out! It was such a nice, clean poof! No background music or dialogue to work around! *chef kiss*

———

If you've read my fics, you can consider this story an alternate ending for There are Owls and Witches in These Woods. Everything up to the week in which this journal was written remains the same. There is a divergence when Evelyn decides she needs to protect Caleb by breaking off their friendship. Let’s just say that evening played out very differently. I'll let you guess and imagine for yourself what happened when Evelyn tried to break things off with Caleb. But I will give you this hint: his wish was very important. 😉

———

This is the sketch I sent @bananadramaaa to show what I wanted for the cover art. Behold my artistic skills:

It was so cool to watch the cover art come to life! It was only the second time I’ve ever commissioned an artist (and first time commissioning something complicated), and it was such a positive experience! If you need art for something and their commissions are open, I HIGHLY recommend them!

(Also we snuck a few easter eggs into the art ehehehe)

———

And it's time for some final thoughts.

I wanted to do something REALLY cool to sort of…I guess serve as a love letter to The Owl House? This show has been an amazing ride, and I wanted to create something as cool as I could to show my appreciation!

I wanted to show my gratitude to this silly, funny, wonderful, heartwarming show for existing. And to thank it for getting me writing and voice acting again. I am so grateful I decided to sit down and watch it last summer. I was lured in with the promise of witches and magic and owls, and ended up with a story that spoke to me so deeply.

Thank you, Dana. Thank you, crew.

And for anyone who made it this far, thanks for checking out my silly recording, and for being interested in my rambling. I hope you had fun!

Seriously. Thank you. 🔥🪶

[dilfsuzanneyk]

1, 2, 6, 7, 10, 11, 15, 22 and 23 about Ace!! (I hope it's not too much)

hi al!!! thank you for the ask :D and no it's not too much dw i am so happy to talk about ace

does your oc have any motifs?

an obvious one would defo be the ace of spades. she has a tattoo of one on her arm, and an earring with it that she usually wears. she has an ace of spades patch on her crust jacket, too! the ace of spades appears a lot in her album covers and music videos. sometimes she makes her spade pink :D

2. describe your character's voice. do they have a voice claim?

she doesn't have a voice claim at the moment but ace's voice is somewhat nasally when she speaks naturally, and she has issues controlling her volume so it's usually pretty loud. you see her before you hear her kinda deal. also she has a natural growl in her voice whenever she gets excited or angry. she has a pretty thick malay singaporean accent, which gets incredibly obvious when she's passionate about something, and she's more comfortable using it around close friends. sometimes during live shows her accent gets obvious too. during interviews and such, however, she hides her natural accent with a more polished vaguely american accent.

6. what is the thing your oc likes the least about themselves?

ace hates how passionate and serious she can get about most things. she very rarely experiences things in in betweens, and it's usually extremes for her. she doesn't like it because she feels as though it makes her annoying and unlikeable, and it has gotten in the way of relationships before and caused them to fall apart.

7. what is the thing your oc likes the most about themselves?

as she learned to love herself over the years she did come to really like her ability to talk to people!! growing up, she was always told that she was awkward and didn't socialise well. so becoming an adult and learning that most people couldn't care less, and even see her quirks as something that made her Her, was incredibly relieving for her. she slowly got more comfortable with striking up conversations with people if she needed/wanted to, and felt less like she Had to pretend she was someone she's not. it combats the thing she likes least about herself most times, but she still gets insecure about it some times. she works on it :]

10. what kind of music do they enjoy?

ace is a "listens to everything" kinda gal. and she Means It. but in terms of Really enjoy and favourites, she really enjoys the 60s and 70s rock scene (kind of just. any, really. but her favourites are jimi hendrix, the rolling stones, the shadows and musicians in the 70s punk scene. any other british rock artist from the 60s too, i'd say, considering she grew up in singapore). she also enjoys malay music from the 60s, mostly for the nostalgia. she grew up watching P. Ramlee films, so she enjoys his music the most. she also really likes music from bands like the quests and the trailers (all of these are popular music in singapore from the 60s btw so i'd highly recommend you check all of these out if you have the time. i personally really love p ramlee and the quests). aside from the nostalgia factor, ace did get really into the new wave scene as she entered the 80s music industry. and she eventually ended up picking up a few new favourite bands and artists along the way (and had the honour of occasionally bumping into these artists or even opening for them sometimes).

11. has your OC ever fallen in love and with whom?

our girl nikki haas baybee!!! ace is head over heels for her, as she should be. aside from that ace has a whole history of romantic relationships that go down in flames after she falls really hard, namely her relationship with her old drummer, mary dimes.

15. who is your OC’s best friend?

jack hardy :]] they've known each other since they were both in university, and shared a flat at some point. they have a special little bond. ace considers nikki her best friend too, along with jun! mary was also considered by her as a best friend, even if their relationship wasn't the best.

22. what is holding your OC back to achieve their goals?

self doubt. that's a big one for ace. she prolongs doing anything because she's simply afraid that she hasn't done the best that she can do. in fact, she's mostly afraid that her best won't be enough to achieve a goal in the first place. also, her obsession with being the best and doing the best she can often ends up with her so committed that she disregards her own health and safety. obviously that sets her back a little since she's not at optimum health and condition.

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

like i said, her biggest flaw is probably her obsession with being the best, and giving her best. but her biggest strength is probably her willingness to listen. be it to advice or to someone vent. if it's advice, she'll disregard it if she thinks it doesn't benefit her or if she feels it makes no sense. but most times, she does take advice into account a lot. which is good because her friends often notice when she's getting in too deep, and try to pull her out. she's always willing to listen. and if someone wants to vent, then, she'll take a lot of care in listening. she may not have advice or anything else to say, but she is always willing to just let you rant and let you know you're not alone.

[skinslip]

Reel Independents: Space People (2016)

Members of the Galactic Federation are stranded on earth after their ship explodes and they seek help from Earthlings who think they are just cosplayers on their way to a convention. Also there is a pair of Men in Black on their trail.

This might be the lowest budget film I have seen next to Joel Haver's body of work. To kind of give you an idea of what to expect here are some things of a no-budget nature you will witness:

The communicator is a cracked iPhone that is half tucked into the commander's sleeve.

Their space ship is literally a Nerf football with tinfoil wrapped around it.

The enemy ship is just two speakers strapped together.

Literally half of this movie is shot in the back of a moving van.

An iPad on a music stand serving as a video communication device.

And it's charming as fuck. And actually really funny at times.

Director-Writer-Actor-And-More Adam Griswold manages to surprise me here because 47 seconds into Space People I was worried this premise would wear itself thin, *especially* with a 1 hour 45 minute runtime. But the running gags are funny, the low low low budget special effects are charming and often hilarious.

The real standout is Aurora Grabill as the evil villainess who is obsessed with the main character. Aurora is chewing the scenery every time she is on screen and also her eye makeup and outfits are *incredible*. My gay ass was swooning the whole time.

I adored Space People so much. If micro-budget movies with more heart than budget are your thing then I highly recommend it to you.

You can watch the movie on Tubi for free with ads here.

You can check out Smoking Bottle Entertainment's Youtube for behind the scenes videos and other movies/series by Griswold. And the Space People Facebook page for lots of photos!

Also... *there's a sequel*:

[irish-urn]

Okay so you told me to go ahead with ramblings, which is so sweet btw. So buckle up, this is a long one.

Thank you for lowkey recommending Marianas Trench. I listened to their album Phantoms and it's so good! The first song I listened to by them was Eleonora (with earbuds in, and that made it /that/ much better) and it made my brain go brrrr.

-So Will I is so sweet and amazing and I totally see it as a wedding song. I'm not sure if I see it as THEE song for Dasey, but its definitely up there.

-Also your music taste is great

Now onto your beautiful new chapter.

-"Ain't it close to your curfew, Cinderella?" He KNOWS her so well and that's the perfect combo of teasing her and checking in on her.

-"Fuuuuck, what a day" Derek's the type to be "on" all the time when he's around people. And that must be exhausting sometimes.

-Thinking about Derek being protective over Casey, especially when shes drunk. And how even before the kiss happened she thought he would probably wanna walk her home, even though it's his party. Makes me think about him walking her home from previous parties. Would they walk so close that they would brush against each other? Or would either/both of them resolutely put their hands in their pockets just wishing they could reach out? And how awful he'd feel for her running out of the party, drunk, distressed, and alone. And how Derek might have to stay at the party after she leaves to keep up appearances and how miserable he would be trying to pretend everything was fine.

-The PHYSICALITY you bring to your them with small movements, like "narrowing her eyes at him" and "he makes an exaggerated frown" and "throat bobbing" all within a couple sentences just brings them to life

-"She straightens up, sitting a little taller" There's our nerd, excited and ready to share info

-"his eyes so bright, his smile so blinding" Not only is that beautiful, but I can picture it exactly and !!!

-Derek eventually (when everything calmed down) researching what stoning actually is and being horrified.

-Again, your imagery is perfection

-The way the thoughts flow, and intertwine with what's happening is just so !!!

-Also the way you write her thoughts and the spiral and the panic is so accurate

-Casey calling Derek "Der" is so !!!

-the DETAILS you include

-Derek being Captain is so special to me

-"Stop staring at your girlfriend" just says so much about how they act around each other

-"and how /dare/ he be the only reason she can breathe" I KNEW he would be a grounding force for her "it's not /fucking/ fair that he's the poison and the antidote" I saw your comment on ao3 talking about Poison and Wine and The Civil Wars and LISTEN not only did I immediately think about this song when I read that line, when we were talking about Dasey and music the other day I totally thought of it then too. So you & me = same page. Also reminds me of the lyrics "Cause all I need is on your lips/They're my enemy/They're my remedy" from 29 by Loïc Nottet

-He asks her if she's okay :( that's so cute

-Derek calling Casey "baby" almost instinctually. I feel like /I/ got hit by a 2×4

-Writing in Derek's panic too is just so special to me. And again, I saw your comment talking about how hes probably upset with himself and getting straight into that desperate fix-it /fix-it/ mode but still not wanting to just brush it aside because it was /coming/ and and and

- I may or may not want to HIT Flinn with a 2×4

- ANYWAY, as you can see, I have so many THOUGHTS and FEELINGS.

LET'S TALK MUSIC FOR TWO SECONDS before we jump back to Dasey and fics—

I was introduced to Marianas Trench via their Ever After album (and it's actually the only concert I've ever been to) which has some stand-out bouncy songs!! If you're an angsty person thought, I HIGHLY recommend "Lover Dearest", "One Love" (THIS ONE IS STARRED, OKAY???), and "Good to You" (one of their versions is a duet, and UGH). Phantoms is also an excellent album, and if you like satire, they do a song called "Pop Music 101" where they make fun of the music industry.

*rolls around in The Civil Wars for a bit* And I'm adding that song you recc'd to my list.

And I still haven't figured out Dasey's wedding song yet. I'm still searching for one that satisfies Casey's romantic dreams while allowing Derek to maintain his image. I *think* I know their first dance though.

(Was that spoilers? Oh well.)

I LOOOOOOOOVED YOUR THOUGHTS and if you want, I can go through each one of them and we can gush forever and forever about these two sappy, competitive idiots—

And I'm talking about the whole "baby" thing in another ask/answer, don't worry.

And, the crazy thing with these two is that sometimes I put a lot of thought into why they do/say what they do (like the "baby" thing, and their love languages), but a lot of times, they just ACT, and I'm just typing out whatever they're doing, and to see others' reactions is, like, I feel like I've been a good stenographer, if that makes sense. Like, I did my job. So thank you so so much for distracting me at work and making me giggle at my phone—

(And, again, I can totally talk about any of your points if you want us to start an insane feedback loop (I would be 100% okay with this).)

<3

[jazy3]

I posted 2,255 times in 2022

That's 1,674 more posts than 2021!

111 posts created (5%)

2,144 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hawkinslibrary

@sophiathebanished

@hotgluegunflower

@stephsxcorner

@dreamybevcrly

I tagged 2,232 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 1,446 posts

#strangerthingsedit - 705 posts

#steve harrington - 639 posts

#stancy - 403 posts

#nancy wheeler - 381 posts

#dailystrangerthings - 339 posts

#stedit - 269 posts

#tvstrangerthings - 193 posts

#st4 spoilers - 188 posts

#stranger things 4 - 182 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#there’s so many complexities in max’s grieving and if it’s dumbed down to ‘i’m sad the billy died’ i’m going to punch a hole in the tv

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

For all the Steve and Nancy shippers out there I highly recommend you check out the Rebel Robin: Surviving Hawkins Podcast! Even if podcasts aren’t usually your thing. The series is set during Season 1 of Stranger Things and is about what Robin was up to during that time and there’s lots of great Steve and Nancy content going on in the background.

47 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

#4

Marry Me Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited to see this movie based on the trailers and it did not disappoint! It was so good! If you haven’t seen it yet I highly recommend that you find some time this weekend and go! It’s so funny and the music is so catchy! It’s exactly what I needed to see right now! At its core Marry Me is pure, fluffy, rom-com magic. As others have pointed out what makes it so special is that it recaptures so much of that magic that early 2000’s rom-coms had without any of the offensive jokes, patriarchal nonsense, or stupid misunderstandings that could have been solved with a five minute conversation. There’s a reason it was the number one movie on Valentine’s Day this year.

Based on the graphic novel of the same name by Bobby Crosby, Marry Me is about a pop superstar named Kat Valdez who minutes before she’s about to go onstage and marry her fiancé Bastian finds out that he’s been cheating on her with her assistant Tyra via a gossip website. Distressed and heartbroken she picks a man holding a ‘Marry Me’ sign out of the crowd and agrees to marry him onstage. The man turns out to be Charlie Gilbert, a divorced math teacher, who is there with his daughter Lou and was guilted into going to the concert by his best friend Parker.

Following the concert Kat decides to stay married to Charlie for a few months to avoid people thinking she’s manic and that there’s something wrong with her and to put a positive spin on an otherwise terrible situation. Charlie reluctantly agrees to the arrangement out of kindness and as time goes on the two grow closer after getting the chance to spend time together outside of the media spotlight and her management team. Kat bonds with Charlie’s daughter Lou and gets to know his students and eventually the two fall in love for real.

The movie stars Jennifer Lopez as pop superstar Kat Valdez, Latin pop star Maluma as Bastian, Owen Wilson as math teacher Charlie Gilbert, Sarah Silverman as Parker Debbs the school guidance counsellor and Charlie’s best friend, and John Bradley from Game of Thrones as Collin Calloway Kat’s long-time manager and friend. Rounding out the cast are Chloe Coleman from My Spy and Big Little Lies as Charlie’s daughter Lou and Michelle Buteau as Kat’s assistant Melissa. Jimmy Fallon also appears playing a fictionalized version of himself throughout the movie.

What makes this film work is the quality of the writing and the adorable odd-couple chemistry that Kat and Charlie share. They make you fall in love with their story and root for them. The film perfectly leans into the silliness and romanticism that made early to mid 2000’s rom-coms so fun! I loved how the movie stuck to its premise and didn’t try to be something that it wasn’t. The film never takes itself too seriously or tries to make some big profound point. It’s everything that I hoped Isn’t It Romantic? the 2019 rom-com staring Rebel Wilson and Liam Hemsworth would be but wasn’t.

And the reason is clear. The problem with Isn’t It Romantic as a movie was that it took itself too seriously, was always trying to prove some big point about the patriarchy or social norms, and leaned so heavily into parody that it was no longer funny. I had high hopes for that movie and I know a lot of other people did too and while it was ground-breaking for its casting of a plus sized lead the movie ultimately fell flat and just wasn’t the success everyone had hoped for.

Where Marry Me finds its strength is in working within the conventional norms of the traditional rom-com and romantic movie genre while also pointing out things that are problematic in more subtle ways. Because of this when Kat gives a speech at a press conference talking about how ridiculous it is that women feel like they have to wait for a proposal and are expected to take their husband’s last name it doesn’t feel preachy or overdone. It feels authentic. It feels like the genuine complaints of a frustrated woman whose been through hell and back and that is a feeling I think a lot of women can relate to.

There is so much expected of us and going against the grain to do what you want and be happy can often be an uphill battle and come with challenges that most men, the straight ones anyway, rarely have to face. In truth, Marry Me is the feminist rom-com for the modern age that so many other movies have tried to be but didn’t really pull off. There were so many things I loved about this movie. I was surprised at just how funny it was! I knew it would have humour in it based on the premise and the trailers, but I was pleasantly surprised at just how on point the jokes were.

Concentrated heavily in the first half of the movie the jokes, humorous dialogue, and comical situations had me laughing non-stop. The opening number of Kat’s concert is an upbeat tempo number called ‘Church’ that finds J.Lo dressed in an ornament, bejewelled, Catholic cross inspired body suit surrounded by back up dancers in sexy shortened nun outfits. I couldn’t stop laughing and the song is really catchy! It felt like a cross between a Madonna and a J.Lo concert in the best way! It honestly made me want to see her sing live in person. Both Wilson and Lopez have great comedic timing together and Silverman knocks it out of the park as always. Bradley and Coleman shine in their comedic moments as well.

The second half of the movie focused more heavily on emotional moments and power ballads which served to give the movie its emotional punch and sentimental centre. Something I really loved about this movie is that it addressed a whole bunch of things that most movies or TV shows usually leave out or don’t address which are particular pet peeves of my best friend and I who I went to see the movie with. For example, we see Kat talking to her manager about filling the paperwork to make the marriage legal. This is a big pet peeve of ours as in most films or TV shows you see people get married by an officiant, but you never see them actually sign the paperwork or talk about it.

Likewise, when Kat got to the airport to go after Charlie, we saw her manager come to her rescue with her passport, a ticket, and some money as you can’t get on a plane without those things. I had a moment when I thought they were just going to let her through and onto the plane because she was famous which would have been super unrealistic in this day and age. It made for a really sweet moment between Kat and her manager Collin who showed himself to be a loving and supportive friend who genuinely cared about her and did what he could to protect her. I also loved the moment when she tried to buy someone else’s ticket and he had to explain to her that that was illegal and that everyone, or almost everyone, knows that. I’m glad that they chose to go the realistic route as it made for some funny moments and added a sense of realism to the film that a lot of rom-coms, even good ones, tend to lack.

I loved the scenes of Kat and Charlie getting to know each other and them challenging each other to step outside of their comfort zones. Like Kat getting Charlie to try social media and become more tech savvy and Charlie getting Kat to do things for herself when she hadn’t in a long time. I felt like spending time with Charlie brought Kat back to her roots and that was what made her fall for him. I love that Kat found a way to help Charlie connect with Lou more and the scenes with Charlie and Lou’s dog were adorable and hilarious.

I particularly loved the scene with the Ferris Wheel where Kat got the park to reopen for a night so that they could go alone, and he could experience something that brought back fond memories of his mother. Sweet romantic gestures that bring back good memories are the kind of “I’m rich and famous so I can do this” uses of power or influence that I can get behind. I also loved the scene where Kat gave Lou the Chanel purse and we learned that she works with a non-profit that helps women dress for success and get back on their feet.

I have to say J.Lo’s hat game was on point in this movie! Her outfits were stunning! I loved all of them from her concert ensembles to her date night getups. And the music in this film was incredible! My friend and I both said that we wouldn’t be surprised at all if the tracks from this film wind up charting and that if people use ‘Marry Me’ as one of their wedding songs unironically in the years to come. I’ve personally been blasting the soundtrack since I got home from the theatre and have no intention of stopping.

My personal favourites are the pop and ballad versions of ‘Marry Me’ by J.Lo and Maluma, the religiously inspired pop smash ‘Church’, the self-love ballad ‘Love of my Life’, pop ballad ‘On My Way’, and the yearningly beautiful ‘After Love’. I was shocked and surprised to see Utkarsh Ambudkar as one of the mathalete coaches! As long time followers will know I loved him Free Guy and I love him in CBS’ Ghosts. He’s one of a handful of actors that’s been cropping up in everything lately now that all of the pre-pandemic content that was put on hold for the past year to two years is finally being released and I couldn’t be happier for him.

All this being said no movie is without its faults. To this end, I often found Michelle Buteau’s character annoying and felt like she was a bit much at times. However, humour is subjective and since her style of acting and humour has never really been my thing my dislike of her character was kind of inevitable and I can appreciate that other people do enjoy her particular brand of humour. Something I found odd was how Jimmy Fallon was portrayed throughout the movie.

While the opening late night monologue we see playing at Kat’s apartment was funny, talking about how she married a random guy from the audience and joking that she would likely leave him for her Uber driver and then a bellboy, each successive appearance made Fallon appear more and more cruel and mean spirited. I found this odd because out of all the male late night talk show hosts I find Fallon to be the most kind and genuine. He’s one of the better ones in my opinion and I honestly enjoy watching him interview celebrities and I find his monologues and various segments funny and entertaining.

A big part of his appeal I think is how warm and friendly he is and that seems to genuinely care about his guests and the people who work on his show. Which is why I found it odd that he came across as so villainous and mean spirited in the film. I know he’s playing a caricature of himself, but I think he’s usual persona would have worked just fine. Throughout the movie he seemed to go out of his way to make digs at Kat’s expense and during a live television interview tried to get her to admit that her and Bastion were back together. None of which seems to fit with the person he appears to be in real life or at least the person we see on TV normally.

For instance, when he interviewed RuPaul on his show in February of 2020 and thought that he had insulted them by accident he looked horrified and embarrassed so I found it odd that they had him portray himself as a villain when they already had the philandering Bastion to fill that role. All in all, Marry Me is a feel good, hilarious, and heart-warming film about trying something different and finding true love in the process. If you haven’t seen it yet I highly recommend it!

Until next time!

51 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

So for Season 5 of Stranger Things I really want to see the 1986 graduation and prom. If we don’t get it I will feel robbed! I want to see Nancy give the valedictorian speech talking about how her Barb used to joke about who would win. I want to see Nancy, Robin, and Vickie go prom dress/suit shopping and put on a fashion show for El and Max. I want to see Steve take Nancy to prom, but go as a group with Robin and Vickie so that they can go to prom together without drawing suspicion. I want to see the girls get ready at Nancy’s and when they come downstairs when Steve arrives to pick them up I want Karen to remark on how Steve looks like Tom Cruise and how Vickie looks like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, how Robin looks like Katharine Hepburn, and how Nancy looks like a movie star! I want Karen to take a million pictures and I want to see them have the best time. I can totally see Nancy dancing with Robin and Vickie so they can be close without it being noticeable and the girl dressed as a member of KISS from the Halloween party in Season 2 showing up to ask Jonathan if he wants to dance. I can picture it!

60 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#2

If we don’t get a Beetlejuice reference where one of the kids says Joyce looks just like the actress in that new movie everyone’s talking about and Joyce blushes and says, ‘You think I look like a movie star? That’s so sweet!’ and Hopper says, ‘You always look like a movie star to me.’ At the end of Season 5 of Stranger Things then what is even the point?

91 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Then Steve was in front of me, shoving me out of the way, squaring up with the bat like he'd face down the whole world and take a chunk out of it before he let anything get to us.

Max Mayfield in Runaway Max

This is probably the best description of Steve I have ever read! It’s exactly why I love him as a character! What makes it so funny is that in the book only a few pages prior Max is thinking to herself that Steve doesn't look like a hero and then this is the description you get when the monster climbs on the bus in the junkyard and tries to eat them. If you haven’t read Runaway Max by Brenna Yovanoff I highly recommend it! I also recommend Rebel Robin by A. R. Capetta. Both are good and great primers for Season 4 of Stranger Things! 

168 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dockmmorg]

Ikimono gakari yell youtube

IKIMONO GAKARI YELL YOUTUBE SERIES

IKIMONO GAKARI YELL YOUTUBE DOWNLOAD

I highly recommend you check out this talented act as they continue on their way up and up. Ikimono-gakari keeps getting better and better. Ikimono-gakari - Kimagure Romantic (Subtitled): Another great example of their songs with a very fun and upbeat song with a great video. The song is about saying (Yelling) goodbye as you move on to other things in your life, graduating (literally and figuratively) to new things. Ikimono-gakari - Yell (Subtitled): Great example of their songs, a very moving ballad that captures the spirit of the younger people in Japan. Their version of YELL during this year's Kohaku was a high point of the show and garnered them a lot of recognition. They have been popular for a few years but seem on the verge of becoming huge stars. They are very grounded individuals, even now after 4 albums and a ton of hit singles. The first time I ever saw her (and the band) was during a New Years special where they seemed absolutely overwhelmed to meet the other artists in the show and seemed overjoyed to be allowed to participate. She does not have the greatest voice, but she makes up for it in terms of feeling and attitude. It's a good name for a band that is very playful but also makes very moving pop songs. Ikimono-gakari is a term used for a child who looks after the plants and animals that belong to the class. (The other two members would sing occasionally as well back when they were indie, but only Kiyoe really sings now.) All three members participate in the writing of the music. Kiyoe, the singer is female while the other two members are male. Ikimono-gakari is a three piece pop-rock band that came onto the scene in Japan in 2007 after a few years performing on the street and releasing albums on independent labels. I was rooting against her (Mao-chan all the way!), yet I was amazed by her performance. I was also proud of the american, Mirai Nagasu who was CLEARLY (inarguably) the third best skater out there, cheated out of a medal by judges who mistook a heroic performance for a medal worthy one.Īs for Yu-Na Kim, what else can you say? (Besides a big FU to the Korean Media, who needs to chill and let her live her life, and a bigger FU to the haters, people who desparately want her to fall.) She was magnificient. It's not gold, but that silver medal represents great heart and determination for what is a very young girl. Note: The figure skating was great! I was so proud of Mao-Chan (Mao Asada) as she showed great poise in pretty difficult circumstances (her second performance, coming after Yu-Na Kim basically finished the greatest showing in Olympic histor had to be terribly hard). There will still be no downloads, but maybe a more liberal video site. So I'm taking a brief hiatus to figure out another way to get the videos up. I do nothing but provide information and help others discover some talents they might not yet know about. I don't provide even a smidgen of anything that would hurt an artist.

IKIMONO GAKARI YELL YOUTUBE DOWNLOAD

Note to stalker (and to Japanese music companies being b*tchy here), I don't provide download links. This makes a lot of my introductions to artists kind of pointless, as you can't really get the flavor.

IKIMONO GAKARI YELL YOUTUBE SERIES

In the west they're probably best known for creating songs that were used for opening and ending themes of Japanese anime series, including Bluebird, the third opening theme for the anime series Naruto Shippuden, and Baku, the third opening theme for the anime series Boruto: Naruto the Next Generations.Ok, I have a stalker from a Japanese site who is getting my videos removed. Since their inception in 1999, they've released a total of three indie albums, including Makoto ni Senetsu Nagara First Album o Koshiraemashita., (2003), Nanairo Konnyaku, (2004), and Jinsei Sugoroku Dabe., (2005), eight studio albums, including Sakura Saku Machi Monogatari, (2007), Life Album, (2008), My Song Your Song, (2008), Hajimari no Uta, (2009), Newtral, (2012), I, (2013), Fun! Fun! Fanfare!, (2014), We Do, (2019), and three compilation albums, including Ikimonobakari: Members Best Selection, (2010), Baradon, (2012), and Chō Ikimonobakari - Tennen Kinen Members BEST Selection, (2016). They also have several support members that performs with them on occasion, which are Takashi Adachi, (bass guitar), Akimitsu Honma, (keyboards), Naoki Hayashibe, (guitar), and Tomu Tamada, (drums). Mr.シャチホコものまね披露！ミスチル 「CROSS ROAD」 Ikimonogakari is a Japanese rock, pop, soft rock, j-pop, and pop rock band formed in Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan, in 1999, by Kiyoe Yoshioka, (lead vocals), Yoshiki Mizuno, (lead guitar), and Hotaka Yamashita, (harmonica and piano).

[alreadyblondenow]

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago  

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

Thrust

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

[snobgoblin]

I guess I should make a pinned post instead of cluttering up my bio! Anyway, click read more if you would like to know more about my blog and about me ^^'

ABOUT THE PAGE

What can I expect from this blog?

This blog is dedicated to my special interests, the Powerpuff Girls and Gorillaz. These often intersect, which is natural since they share a universe!

What do I post about?

I have a few different things I post regularly, all centered around the aforementioned special interests! I make art, theories, and post random facts when they pop into my head! I also have a comic, Chemical X, which attempts to connect the two interests more coherently. I attempt to post fun facts daily but I can't always think of one :( In regards to art and posts: There will be swearing and maybe some skin showing or occasional light gore, but besides that it's highly SFW here. RQ are open but only for PPG and Gorillaz characters, soz, RQ in ask box plz

oh also sometimes I just post random stuff that doesnt have anything to do with anything bear with me

Tag Guide?

my tags are very straightforward when it comes to fandoms, but some special tags are [#chemical x] this is anything concerning my comic au, [#chemical x comic] which is where you can find pages of the comic, [#gorillaz random fact] and [#ppg random fact] show you random facts, as the name suggests. [#art for me] is where I reblog anything anyone has made for me. Also, I like to add on to posts with my own art, you can find that under [#addons]. Comics inspired by my friends messages are under [#friend inspo] quick, short (usually one shot) comics are under [#doodle comic] and an ongoing game where ppl request ppg episodes for me to review is marked [#ppg episode review] a collection of Gorillaz links is under [#gorillaz lore well] also [#writing refs] are my notes on how to write character voices [#noobles] is my OTP check it out I'm begging you

Also, I have a second blog, @chemical-x-ask-blog ^^

ABOUT ME

Things I should know about when contacting you?

I'm not very good at holding a conversation, sorry D: I wish I were, but I'm just not good at anything but one word answers and I'm atrocious at comforting people. It's not that I dont care, I just don't know what to do. I love to interact! I'm just still learning how to. Also, if I ignore you but I'm online, it's not because I hate you, it's because I'm busy uvu. I will get back to you. Unless you're a creep. Also, I'm very superstitious so please don't scare me as I tend to be obsessive. Also please don't ask for comfort excessively or send song recommendations it annoys me

Basic bio?

18 II INFJ II Sagittarius II Neurodivergent II they/them she/her he/him fae/faer (i tend to prefer different pronouns at different times, but for simplicities sake I really don't mind if you just use they/them as a catch-all!)

Other interests:

these vary from "I dont know a thing about it but I thoroughly enjoy it" to "I am literally obsessed with this", and they're not in any particular order other than the order I remember them in: animation in general (2D, 3D, stop motion, etc), fashion and music from all kinds of different time periods, Marvel (but only Spiderman and Ironman), hearing about and talking about weird dreams, bootleg toys and movies that are hilariously bad, psychology, environmental science, astrology, Wander Over Yonder, the history of computer viruses, the history of 90s and 2000s cartoons and media, Over the Garden Wall, Studio Ghibli Movies (I have a really nice collection of them now :D!!!), Moominvalley, the vibe of the Tinkerbell movies.... (more later)

and many many more. I just love this planet and all the things it has to offer. these human things are pretty great sometimes

Might add more when I think of it but that's all for now ^^' thanks for reading