#so anyway thats what i was thinking abt honestly
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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The prevailing belief of many ASTV viewers seems to be that Miguel O'Hara is an actual, literal vampire. Do you think this funny.
Nope! <3 it shows such a lack of willingness to do even Basic Research that would take maybe two seconds to look up that it makes me want to Kill. like. cmon. he has Fangs because he's half-spider...,,.,
They're hollow, and whenever he Bites People, it is specifically with the intent to POISON them with the VENOM from his FANGS-- he also Says That every time he does it, like he's an anime character, lol, and it means a lot to me. we don't know the exact makeup or potency of his venom, but we Do know that it's fast-acting, paralytic, and (apparently, thankfully) non-toxic, at least.
#talking tag#asks#spider-man 2099#spiderman 2099#atsv#across the spiderverse#spider-man: across the spider-verse#but like. honestly ive Never liked ppl calling him a vampire LOL ppl alREADY didnt know anything abt 2099 as it was Before ATSV came out y/#and then ATSV comes out nd its portrayal of My Blorbo for whom my foolish fool self would & Will go 2 bat for Debunking Disinformation abt-#--is Canon Accurate in its characterization of him even if in general i think it's pretty Thematically Weird 2 have chosen Mig Specifically#--for the role that they put him in just specifically because. like. the themes of SM2099 kind of actively go against All Of That Stuff?#but. whatever. dbsdkvbdvjbsk it's not a Dealbreaker 4 me i Understand quite intimately that literally nobody cares abt analyzing 2099 LOL.#and i am just a nitpicky esoteric autistic Bitch with Very Strong Opinions or w/e#anyways they made lots of Funney Jokes. tho i dont dig how often mig was Called Unfunny because he Is Funny hes just autistic nd quiet#mig Is Funny he just doesnt make quips as a nervous reaction or to distract villains when he is wearing the costume.#like the Whole Point of his spider-man is that hes Supposed to b Weird And Different from other Spiders thats literally what he was made 4#zigging where lee & ditko zagged. He Was Designed That Way On Purpose That Is Why He Is So Interesting He Is ACTUALLY DIFFERENT#Christ almighty one more person acts like he wasnt nothin before this film as if he aint existed for 30 years with an established history.#feel like i m just gonna start freakign Killing
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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Whenever I think about your Keir I think about Bethany telling Anders he reminds her of Malcom. I’m sure that won’t ever affect Keir ever.
bethany is my favourite mage bc she never misses with that psychic damage
but really he and anders aren’t even a thing in act 1 so it’s less like “PLEASE stop comparing my crush to our father” and more like “oh fuck off i spend my entire life trying to act like our dad and one (1) mage rolls up and suddenly he’s dad??”
#the bethany anders keir weirdness about malcolm is so real#because bethany says ‘you remind me of him (generally positive)’ in act 1#but in later acts i think she’s still seeing the same thing just with a different uhhh mindset#seeing the way her dad wanted her to be something she wasnt and strive for something she was never sure was worth the sacrifice#how he tried to make decisions about what was best for other people. how he risked lives etc#whereas anders also has his own perception of malcolm which i think is quite... idealised#it means a lot to him that a mage raised a family that loved him. and hes envious of it#but thats definitely a standard anders is making up. if anders and malcolm really met we’d have to cast a barrier between them within five#minutes. for their own safety.#whereas keir in some ways saw a more complete version of his father from the beginning#but he also believes those more uhh flawed abrasive damaging sides are necessary. of course he does he repeats them#his father may not have been the easiest man in the world to live with but he always did what he had to#and kept his word and held himself to the same standards as others#but oh wait here’s the legacy dlc with the steel chair—#anyway my point being that u get these 3 in a room and theyre talking abt 3 entirely different malcolms. carnage#i dont think it would naturally occur to keir to compare anders to malcolm#but hed be like. ‘i GUESS?’ when bethany said it#honestly anders one of the things that’s kind of disillusioning abt malcolm bc like#i mean say what you like about my man anders but he was never all talk#not to dismiss the courage it took for malcolm to escape & raise a family#but thats one thing. insisting on using your abilities to help people & to go BACK for those still in the circle is kind of another#a lot of dialogue implying malcolm talked a big game about mage rights#but apart from raising a daughter who hates herself what did he actually do.#sorry thats mean but you see my point#and its not just justice that makes anders like that. sure he was more scared and hopeless about the circle#but his instincts are to help. you wouldnt catch malcolm going back to help against darkspawn even when told to run#and my malcolms also. gruff. stoic. serious. a man of few words. he does not do bits or tell you about his cat#if keir hears bethany compare anders to malcolm and at all agrees it’s not really anything about personality#he’s saying yeah i guess anders does seem like a good mage and a good man. thats the only commonality he would jump to#these tags got incredibly away from me
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#hi im bfposting real quick#in a week me and my guy wil have been together for six months!! hello!!! thats so much time already!!#it feels like only yesterday that i was simpposting about him on here like a crazy person#for like two weeks. and then right after that i was boyfposting. oh how the turn tables#anyway im so 💗💞💓💗💖💘❣💕❤💓💗💞💖💘💗💞💓 (again and again and again and again)#thank god i didnt tag any of my simp posts so i cant look back on them i might die from cringe. i mean i remember what i wrote but still#i mean. im STILL simping whatever i say is just future me's problem#honestly crossposting from my previous text post. im out here thinking abt shit that had never crossed my mind before. whats happening to m
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My Country: The New Age, first and last episodes & Hanif Abdurraqib, For The Dogs Who Barked At Me On The Sidewalks in Connecticut (text/audio)
image descriptions in alt
#damn imagine if hui-jae was well written beyond like episode 7 or so. wouldnt that have been something.#just saying but if they had actually leaned into the parallels between these three instead of doing ... whatever weird comphet stuff we got#it couldve been so good!!!! or even if they had just let her keep her fun gender!! but no :(#im so glad hui-jae is busy being the occasional third in hwa-wol and mun-boks marriage while seonhwi raise goats in seo geoms village haha#anyway. enjoy yet another half assed post abt parallels and heartbreak in the parallels and heartbreak show <3#also do urself a favour and check out the whole poem hanif abdurraqibs writing is insane#my country: the new age#mctna#han hui-jae#nam seon-ho#seo hwi#caveweb#actually no i still have sth to say. like im not even mad that theres comphet im just angry its so bad like??? what was that#that wasnt even half assed that was like quarter assed at best#also the hui-jae / seon-ho axis is so tragically underused#like i respect that they just fully made them both hwisexual but couldnt we have at least gotten more than some crumbs#they went from vaguely friends to bitchy antagonists to i dont even think of u at all and thats honestly so lame#tension of a wet lettuce leaf. seon-ho was the one who made the first step towards friendship in ihwaru and he also warned her abt his dad#and wingmanned hwi (took hui-jae to see hwi kick ass) like in the beginning he was the one w the people skills!#and u are telling me apart from one extremely unbelievable attempt at a love triangle w the 'last drink' scene u never did anything w them?#like so much of my grief w this show hinges on the fact that there shouldve been more Good Times before everything went to shit#to make it hit harder bc imagine the beef if seon-ho and hui-jae had been actually good friends before he betrayed hwi#them seeing each other at court as the king and queens respective confidantes wouldve been so much better like !!!#wait actually i need to stop here i can feel myself getting hangry i need to eat lunch but imagine. imagine#the good timeline where hwi just got to be fully bisexual and there were more divorce flavours than just hwi/seon-ho and hwi/bang-won...#solarpunk_future.jpeg#nam seon ho#han hui jae#<- thats just bc i never fucking know what the consensus on the romanization of everyones names is#i personally go w the hyphenated method but lots of ppl write each syllable separate and ive seen the kpop variant (written tgt) used too
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Luv how I'm an sdv shane fan but I do not give a single darn abt coral island mark
#granted when i end up playing the sdv update ill probably marry emily or Sebastian lmao#Sebastian fans ya got me ive been indoctrinated#honestly i think that tracks considering i ended up marrying wakuu in coral island#hmm smart bois w/ daddy issues hmm 🤔 is there a pattern? idk.#anyways i want to talk more abt coral island but. idk im so solitary abt my gaming?#i wanna info dump and share but im nervous lmao#maybe becos the fandom is so small and i dont see a lot of ppl posting abt it#like hcs and fics and stuff#so im nervous to open up aaa ;;;#maybe ill start in my comfort zone and make some art#OH id love to draw wakuu or millie......thats an idea#anyway hi hello ur reading my tags whats up#how's ur day going who did you marry in coral island#tell me abt it (im laying on my stomach kicking my legs like im gossiping at a slumber party)#scout.txt
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oop ALREADY seeing cold takes that are just "i thought the finale was good so if you didnt you are clearly just watching the show wrong and you missed the point of everything ever" like ok can we just accept that the world is more nuanced than that and doesnt always revolve around ur thoughts and opinions
#fionna and cake#literally these two episodes are FINE i dont hate them or dislike them even#nobody is wrong at all for liking them and if you like the finale thats so cool#its mostly just pacing issues and some writing decisions that made the pacing issues a bit worse#but i dont think these episodes are badly written#i just feel like. something weird happened here#the eps feel very different from the others#and whether thats good or bad. well thats up to you#but dont go 'actually you just enjoy the show wrong' if somebody disagrees#thats not smart#jesus christ i cant stress enough i have no overt negative feelings on the eps#im just very underwhelmed#anyways cant wait for my very mixed up thoughts abt this ending to be boiled down to#'idiot is mad that the show didnt spel out every single thing in detail for him'#cuz nah thats not what im looking for when it comes to AT#honestly it kinda felt like things were.#being spelled out... Too much ? for me?#i guess thats the side effect of#a childrens story simplifying the main conflict down to smth digestable#for the main character to read#and then go#'oh. Yeah'#like i see whats there. i really do. i like whats there#i just dont find the execution or pacing very jazzy
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sometimes life w a v high pain tolerance means im still in pain but quiet abt it to not bother other ppl and sometimes it means im in such horrific pain for literally no reason (there is a reason oft just related to afab insides so ppl dont care) but i have to go to work anyways bc calling out is bad and somehow its ‘so brave’ to work while wanting to die as your insides torture you it feels like youre burning alive and your organs are breaking but hey we gotta go earn that dough right
#raiiot#it hurts so bad rn i wanna just cry and break down but i have work tonight#it hurts to breathe too which doesnt help me#i honestly dont even know if my pain tolerance is high or if i just got told my pain didnt matter#so much growing up and by docitrs and everyone that Im just not reacting to it#bc the reality is my wanting to die because of pain has been a constant since i first got my period at like 7-9 years old#and being told by doctors and my parents that im faking it for attention or i need to get over it or that idk what pain is jhst means i#started not saying anything bc being in pain and crying a lot was already bad since id get yeled at for crying#but being called a liar and being in trouble for it and the additional suffering just really sucked on top of it so it was ‘easier’ to say#nothing and try to ignore it and pretend i wasnt in pain for others benefit since they thought i was lying anyways#which is even funnier since now if i mention it theybsfill think im lying#so if im ignoring it or honest abt it i#still apparently a liar ig lol#the only pain other ppl in my fam have experienced is the oral pain funnily enough but they screamed abt cried abt how nobodys ever felt#pain like they have over a need for ONE root canal. i needed 9 and numbing didnt work#thats the first time they ever realized i maybe wasnt lying avout the pain. was when they got told thaf. but they still treat me like i am
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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oh god pokemon day is today i'm so scared... also the livestream is at 1am my time and i have work tomorrow but i'm stupid and i'm absolutely staying up anyway 👍
#clai speaks#POKEMON RANGER! POKEMON RANGER! POKEMON RANGER! POKEMON RA#OOOO i just got an email that the local games store is giving out some fun stuff if you buy pokemon things today#before work today i think i'll pop in buy some cards and get that free ceruledge card ehehehe#anyway the presents. i dont know what i want really. yeah i just said pokemon ranger but do i want them to announce a new game today....#i mean its pokemon day they probably will but. terrifying#NOTHING UNOVA RELATED YOU PUT THAT SHIT BACK IN THE OVEN RIGHT NOW#honestly i hope the lets go wooper/togepi rumors Arent true like i never believed them for a second but everyone else seems to#i know you all were complaining abt kanto getting redone so many times but when its Johto its fine?? :////#mystery dungeon would be lovely too i miss it so much :(#yknow what a spinoff might be fine bc those are handled by other companies right#detective pikachu returns was. mediocre. but it was fine#yeah i hope its a spinoff if they announce any new games today. preferably mysetry dungeon. thats my best case scenario
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okay i know i said k.aeya wedding but.
#have we considered k.azuha wedding#BC I HAVE.#no bc someone pls explain to me where the g.enshin interest came from i literally have not touched the game in months...#(didnt pull k.aveh and that was my breaking point /jjj)#anyway i just think that marrying kazu somewhere quiet and secluded and its just us bc thats all that matters#and we never really cared about having an official label bc we knew what we were and we didn't need to define it for other people#but theres smth abt getting to call him my husband <33#i honestly lowkey love the idea of getting matching tattoos instead of rings.. it feels more fitting for us#i just love him so bad and i want to smooch him.#SORRY ETHAN..#< me when ive said ill marry him for like a year now#hes already my husband tho like. we dont need to be married for that. it makes sense to me#🎐 rambles
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skizz and zed girls 👍
#original post tag#im thinking abt them sooo hard#like okay skizz came out first and has been out for like maybe a couple of years and it was her coming out that made zed start to question#anyway zits are all super supportive ofc#and like when skizz came out like imp & tango bought her a couple of like sterotypically girly clothes like dresses & skirts which skizz#loves honestly. her favourite is this long red dress w like a slit up the leg and also this cute like off the shoulder top#anyway when zed ends up coming out impulse buys her his dress which is pink (duh thats her fav colour) but. she doesnt like dresses. she#hates dresses. and she goes to skizz abt it and is like what do i doooo. i dont wanna hurt impys feelings. and skizz is like nah hell be#chill about it dont worry. and hey you could always try and make the dress into something else#so zed gets exys help to make the dress into a cute matching top and shorts set#and then shows it off to impulse like. heeeeey. i dont like dresses and skirts but i did this bc the dress u bought was nice & i liked it#apart from it bwing a dress. and jmp is like oh im so sorry i should have asked but im glad u were able to make it into something you like#yeah.
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idk. picky eater rights. im coming to your events and turning my picky bitch nose up at your fancy ass desserts you spent a bajillion hours working over in the kitchen and asking if i can find like a basic ass brownie with no extra flairs or ingredients or steps or whatever the fuck. cry about it. stop trying to feed me
#toy txt post#they gotta have some picky eater bitches be the judges on those food competition shows i stg#sorry for committing the unforgivable sin of my tastebuds didnt enjoy the food you made. it was intended as a personal slight actually#i am trying to offend you for real. yeah. thats definitely whats happening. god/sssss#like god irl if i dont like food you made ill try to be fuckin gracious about it buf dont fucking get mad at me for like. idk. prepping my#own foods you percieve as worth less or whatever the fuck. ppl are so fucking weird about food.#honestly guy on prev post didnt even dislike the cake it sounded like but was just experiencing the human emotion of disappointment#when the little specific joy he was looking forward too was not what he expected. if she had asked him 'do you mind if i make a similar cake#that is not the exact same as the one you asked for? maybe he wouldve been fine cos he wouldnt have been looking forward to that specific#thing. OR maybe he wouldve said if youre not going to make this very specific one im looking forward to then dont bother i dont want you#wasting the time and effort and then she wouldnt have been mad. or maybe she wouldve. ppl do get weird about that kind of thing#maybe saying that wouldve been a crime too. guess that dumb asshole shouldve shut up and eaten his stupid cake and enjoyed it and said#nothing. a recipe for happiness#anyway. hot take ig stop putting nuts in desserts. alllergy havers will prolly thank you but you know who else will thank you?#every day i see takes about food that make me think i really should be more of a picky bitch eater on maim to knock yall pretentious#food fuckers down a peg tbh. every day i resist the urge but god how yall test me. let me be the judge on a cooking show.#weird assholes who are rude abt ppl having allergies or sensory issues: come here. im going to break you#anyway more of us picky bitches who are picky just for like. casual reasons. we should he loud picky bitches on main. if a cook or baker or#whatever can accommodate my picky bitch ass thats difficult to feed for no reason we can be sure they can accommodate allergy havers#and ppl w medical restricted diets. if they can be gracious about me just not vibing w the food then they can def be gracious about more#sensitive reasons. yea i could choke down the food i dont like probably. it wouldnt make me throw up or send me to the hospital. but why#should i? if youre an asshole to me about simply not liking your shit then why the hell would i feel safe disclosing medical info to your#bitch ass? why would i trust you to follow it? and not try to sneak some shit in bc you think you know better about food?#anyway#picky eater rights. let ppl be picky for no apparent reason. cos the ppl who have uwu Good Valid Reasons(tm) dont fucking owe you that#explanation
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when i was seven and our trailer burned down, i thought about leaving my father there, grabbing my brother, and getting us the hell out
i didn't. i ended up waking our father and we all ended up at the neighbors' house
but i should have
i fucking should have
because the minute he had a chance to be alone with me (after we got to my grandma's trailer) guess what he did! shortly after our fucking HOME burned down and the firefighters gave my brother and i teddy bears and wrapped blankets around us for shock!!!!!! fucking christ i hate our father more than anyone on this earth
#haha :) feeling normal abt this!#all i cared about was my brother being safe. thats all. i still remember holding his hand and walking him to the neighbours house#i couldnt see because i left my glasses in the trailer. they put on the little mermaid cartoon for us. i even remember what episode it was#but i genuinely considered leaving my father there and honestly that scares me#honestly i was afraid to wake him up bc i didnt want him to get mad at me. if he got mad at me i would always suffer for it later#milo murmurs#fun fact we lived w someone & his son and his son ended up becoming my cousin when his mom married my uncle#i am so so glad neither or them were home that night#he was so young. im several years older than him & he was so little that he doesnt even remember we lived together#csa vent#tw csa vent#csa tw#also feeling fucked up abt the fact that my father wld put his cigarettes out on me when he was pissed#sometimes i wonder if the fire started because he was smoking smth and passed out while doing it but my brother slept in his room#i feel like they wouldve been much more worse off if the fire started in their room#anyway im pretty sure that the fire was set intentionally bc he had some ties to the wrong ppl#and either they didnt know me & my brother were also there and were only going after our father or they didnt care we were there#to this day even bonfires make me nervous if i can only smell them & cant see them. i hate smelling smth burning & panicking#we live in the country now so its very common for ppl to burn leaves and wood and what have you. its still scary sometimes#i think abt this a lot actually bc any fire still makes me lowkey nervous. less so if i know where/what its coming from but still nervous
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hmm gender thoughts
#the people who made pronouns page have another website right#and one of the options there is you can pin your gender on a gradient that goes hypermasculine -> androgynous -> hyperfeminine#and it's like a linear gradient and i hate that SO MUCH. this is hostile architecture for Me Specifically#[disclaimer that if you find that type of thing helpful that's completely fine]#but anyway my gender is like. im a guy but not in a trans guy way#and im a girl but NOT in a cis girl way and i call myself girl in my head a lot but i am a bit Sensitive about how other people use it?#and im always thinking too hard about ''are they acknowledging my 5D chess gender or subconsciously saying it because of my appearance''#if someone called me androgynous or whatever im stabbing them though. idk that just feels so... gender neutral? and im not gender neutral#do ya feel me.#i feel a bit silly typing all this but ah this is the transgender website i think u all would understand me#im a guy like. you know the weird guy who shows up overdressed to casual events but he looks nice so its fine really#and also like. guy who always wears black and looks cool [the cool might just be in my head but thats fine]#and. i might have to think harder abt how i feel regarding Girl ™. i dont want to discard it because i do love doing my own thing with it#but also like being perceived as a cis girl (intentionally or unintentionally) makes me want to jump out of my body. lol. anyway#this is all so sucks honestly my favourite gender is just creature.#you see a thing so weird you just go '' oh god what is that'' and not gender. although i do like the flavour of it/its that is so niceys...#oh jesus uhh#long post#<- for the tags
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