#so basicallt i am too

[iloveyou8600]

people see my skating polly stop digging tattoo next to my deer skull tattoo and ask me if im an archaeologist lol

[whilomm]

finished Turn A and really loved it, after a couple of days decided to start reconguista in G, and like an hour in this bitch comes back in all dolled up

YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM

[iamfabiloz]

So, how'd ya get into transformers and/or warrior cats?

basically around 2020 my dad put on the first season of transformers prime on Netflix and we was watching it together and at first I was like ‘BOOO I DONT WANNA WATCH DUMB ROBOT SHOW 😡’ but then the more we watched I ended up rlly liking it!! And bc Netflix sucks and didn’t have any more seasons I went searching on other sites and finished all of tfp :3 but then I heard there was more robots still and I was like WOAHH and so I began to watch more and MOREE I binged tfa and some of cyberverse, the bayverse movies etc and discovered/picked up lots of knowledge from tf fandom posts on tumblr and things 🤔 i read a bunch of idw comics like mtmte/ll and I even went to TFCON toronto last year :3 so that is so the story thus far of how I got sucked into robots MWAHAHA

As for my warrior cats obsession that began when I was like 9, so it’s been with me for much much longer 🫡 around 2016 ish i I remember seeing a reference to it in one of pinkbunnygirl43’s videos, a youtuber I used to watch a lot, and then my mom was like look at the cat books while I was at the library and I started to check them out!! Also I began to watch multi animator projects Abt wc too, and i gained lots of info Abt the plot and story Thru osmosis n watchinf so much fan made content till eventually I begged to get all the books and read them all. Like in 2017 I began my digital art journey and some random warrior cats ocs were the subject of the piece :3 and wc basicallt what got me into drawing and art related things and it still has its claws in me even after 8 years good lord SOMEONE HELPP!!! I have so much pre 2020 art in my files like a whole heap I am grateful I didn’t have social media back then (aside from my wattpad era) but yeas!!

Ty for asking it was fun to reminisce :3

[cheap-jumpscare]

Welcome to Uta's blog population like 2.

helooo I'm Uta or several other names. I go by it/void and many other prns. check my prns.page >here< !!

read this very important thing written by my meowtual please, thanx :D

a lot more detailed info under the cutt ~

DISCLAIMERS ABT ME / BYF ;;

I say slurs (only those I can reclaim!)

I rarely am ever serious!

I can be very sensitive to rejection!

I'm very apathetic in regards to other people; I wish I wasn't!

I can be very harsh or rude on accident!

im basicallt INCAPABLE of processing if/when a joke is taken too far!! :(

Pls tell me if I fuck up i will not know :(

BASIC INFO ;;

diagnosed and medicated ADHD, peer-reviewed as "def autistic" by my autistic little sister and older brother, depression (or at least some of the symptoms)

divorced parents, adopted at birth!

in general there is something fundamentally wrong/silly abt me

i LOVE homestuck, hiveswap, ddlc, genshin, hsr, crk, cats, borzois, drawing, singing, gacha, voice acting, animation, rain world, etc. (hyperfixations r bold and italic like this!!)

i like spiritual stuff (shifting realities, subliminals, etc) and i may reblog stuff like that sometimes <3

i have a bf!!!! @hanapaws is he!! i love my bf so much rahhh!!!!!

my fav color; tie between red, black, n white. pink n yellow are very close shared-second places

im here to be gay and shitpost man

OTHER SOCIALS ;;

spacehey - cheapjumpscare noplace - hiveswap pesterchum - hollowClown spotify - uta ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ tiktok - qualia.automata

DNIS . . .

thin ice ;

anti-endos / don't believe in endo systems, but don't harass or fakeclaim people abt it (i have friends who are endo and they are very cool!!!!!)

post abt politics Regularly (stresses me tf out)

post abt religion at ALL

if you were that one person who told me I was silencing asians by having a cute/pink/"kawaii" aesthetic blog on tumblr in like 2020. yes that was the actual reason. im being so forreal. /silly but also /gen on this being something that actually happened

DNFI (do not fcking interact) ;

anti-endos / don't believe in endo systems, and DO harass or fakeclaim people abt it

pro-contact / anti-recovery towards paraphilias

nsfw/kink/18+ centered blogs (i am a minor :/)

pro-harassment/anti-anti-harassment

doxx people or support those who do

believe/participate in cringe culture

pro 🇮🇱 or otherwise not pro 🇵🇸 (its a genocide mf)

^ post pictures of gore n dead kids in relation to the genoc¡de w/o tagging, censoring, or warning ANYYY of it (the reason i left twt)

im on your dni (respect your own gd dni)

RANDOM ASSORTED NONSENSE I THOUGHT WAS FUN !! ;;

my true zodiac is Pittarius !! [homestuck]

probably a

i tend to fixate on characters/whatever so hard i either Want to be them, believe i Am them, or both.

^ speaking of, at the bottom of this post is a list of stuff am that way about

^^ i should add here that the personality assigned doesnt contribute to this (though it certainly helps if i can go "THEY JUS LIKE ME FRR") i just. fixate so hard i go "mm i should be [whatever]" or "i mustve been [whatever] in a past life :D"

^^^ i am, most of the time, not under one of these episodes (idrk what else to call them but im not distressed rlly so shrug)

i barely ever remember to categorize things but i will remember for this blog i promise

ORGANIZATIONAL TAGS ;;

#shut up uta! - yapping. rambling even. general Posts tag. #definitely not stolen! - reblogs !~ #uta time travels (again!) - queue'd posts.. mostly going to be whatever im currently horrifically nuclear levels of autistic abt #uta; nobody needs to know this - TMI posts; complaining abt periods, personal life, etc. etc. etc. it can and will get weird here #uta hears voices part ??? - askbox....... #uta pls shut up fr this time - LIVEBLOGGING ~ #(not) uta; [ANY-CHARACTER-NAME-HERE] - for when i am Fixating So Hard On A Character That I /Gen Believe I AM Them. Temporary. pls humor me/play along /gen. #uta's sprites - Sometimes I post homestuck / hiveswap sprites! this is the tag for that :3

Characters / Things Uta sometimes IS (not exhaustive) ;;

italicized = more current / more likely to be this than not | bold = even more current | italicized & bold = almost always this

PROJECT SEKAI ; Minori Hanasato, Airi Momoi, Emu Otori, Kanade Yoisaki, Mafuyu Asahina, Ena Shinonome, Mizuki Akiyama VOCALOID / VOCAL SYNTH ; Xi Yi, Hatsune Miku GHOST & PALS ; Tamari [RECKLESS BATTERY BURNS], Say [CHATTERING LACK OF COMMON SENSE], Cakey [APPETITE OF A PEOPLE PLEASER], Teto [PATHOLOGICAL FASCADE] HIVESWAP & HOMESTUCK ; Charun Krojib, Dave Strider / Davesprite, Jade Harley, Karako Pierot, Meulin Leijon, Nepeta Leijon, Tyzias Entykk GENSHIN ; Collei, Fischl, Furina, Hu Tao, Kirara, Lumine, Qiqi, Xingqiu, Yae Miko, Yoimiya COOKIE RUN ; Peach Blossom, Caramel Choux, Linzer, Mozzarella, Affogato, Strawberry Crepe, Cream Puff, Kumiho, Espresso, Vampire, Stardust, Black Pearl, Whipped Cream, Roquefort, Butter Pretzel, Scorpion, Bellflower, Sour Belt, Crowberry, Pizza, Black Garlic, Coffee Candy, Baguette, Gim, S'more, Strawberry Cream, Astronaut, Starch Noodle, Strawberry Stick, Lotus Dragon, Lychee Dragon, Sugar Swan POKEMON [SPECIES] ; Absol [MEGA], Bewear, Blacephalon, Breloom, Carbink, Chatot, Cramorant, Cursola, Darkrai, Dedenne, Delcatty, Delphox, Eevee, Furfrou, Furret [SHINY], Galvantula, Glaceon, Hatterene, Iron Valiant, Jirachi, Kommo-o, Leavanny, Lucario, Lurantis [TOTEM], Luxray, Lycanroc, Maractus, Mareanie, Meowscarada [SHINY], Mew, Milotic, Mimikyu, Mismagius, Mudkip, Nihilego, Pheromosa, Pyukumuku, Raichu [ALOLAN], Rayquaza [SHINY], Sandslash [ALOLAN], Scoliopede, Scorbunny, Serperior, Shaymin, Smoliv, Sneasler, Solgaleo, Sylveon, Tapu Lele, Thievul, Tinkaton, Torracat, Tsareena, Vaporeon, Wooper, Wynaut, Xerneas, Zoroark [SHINY] POKEMON [HUMANS] ; Justy [JELLOAPOCALYPSE DOGS IN LOVE], N, Ingo, Emmet, Roxie, Clemont, Lisia, Lillie, Ilima, Mallow, Acerola, Marnie, Allister, Klara, Sabi, Florian, Penny, Iono, Rika, Ortega, Kieran, Lacey MISC ; wip.... sorrgy :(

Uta's Glorified Kinlist [IN THE KINNIE WAY] ;;

CHARACTERS ; Kanade Yoisaki, Mafuyu Asahina, Ena Shinonome, Mizuki Akiyama, Charun Krojib, Dave Strider, Fischl, Yoimiya, Strawberry Crepe Cookie, Espresso Cookie, Sprigatito, Ingo, Emmet, Iono, March 7th SONGS ; Born2Run [PENELOPE SCOTT], Hammerhead [PENELOPE SCOTT], Sweet Hibiscus Tea [PENELOPE SCOTT], Baxter Ward is Under Fucking Siege [PENELOPE SCOTT], anarchy [EGG], Digital Girl [KIRA], Nobody [MITSKI], Gay Jokes [RIO ROMEO], Mirror Man [JACK STAUBER]

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

hey so I'm a teenager and I've never really thought about my identity all that much. I've kinda been shielded my whole life from this stuff, but lately I've been interacting with some people online and I keep getting asked what my pronouns are. I'm afab, and I'm okay with being a girl, but I don't mind any pronouns. if someone used he/him on me or called me a boy I wouldn't be bothered, but I also don't feel like I'm entirely a dude. if someone used they/them on me that's also cool. and people using she/her my whole life has never bothered me. personally, idrc all that much about labels, if other people use them and are proud of them, thats great, I want people to do and be whatever makes them happy. but I'm kinda curious about where I'd land on the gender spectrum. I've kinda wondered if I'm genderfluid, but that doesnt exactly fit because at any given time I'm okay with being anything. so I found the gender pangender, but I don't feel like I'm "all genders". if someone asked me how I identify I just say I'm a cis female but by definition I'm not. sorry for this really long winded question, but in summary, is it okay to have like.. no labels? or does that make me cis?

hey anon!! hope life’s going okay for you kid!!

see the thing is, i used to stress out about shit like this too, but with different labels. i was like omg am i cis, wait shit am i transmasc, or am i genderfluid, am i nonbinary?

then i realised:

it doesn’t matter. what matters is what makes me HAPPY.

so, don’t ask “what gender am i? am i cis or trans?” ask “what makes me happy?”

if you wanna go by they/he/she, do that. if a label makes you happy, then use it. be happy and it’ll all fall into place.

the thing is, labels are like jackets. you can try em on for a bit. if you don’t like em, that’s okay! try another one, or lots of them, or don’t have one at all!

so basicallt, pick a label you think you’d like. maybe multi gender, in your case (having many genders,) and just, yknow, try it on for a day! wake up, brush your teeth, and imagine introducing yourself, in the mirror, “hi, i’m x, i use these pronouns, im multi gender!” and like go about your day, go to school talk to friends do the dishes watch tv and think at the back of your head “im multi gender,” just try it on, see how it feels! you can always ditch it if you don’t like it.

there’s this misconception that just bc something feels weird the label ain’t right. but that ain’t always true. someone once compared it to new shoes, and that’s exactly how it feels. sometimes, new shoes feel weird bc they’re just the wrong size.

but sometimes, new shoes feel weird bc you’re not used to them, and you haven’t worn em enough yet, but after a week or so, you think, goddamn these are so comfortable, how did i ever walk with the old ones?

so if a label ever feels weird, think: is it bad weird, or new shoes weird?

to answer your question: if you don’t feel cisgender, if u wanna explore other shit, then you ain’t cis. but if u want to ID as cis you can. it’s up to you kid. explore and fuck around with gender, and if you do turn out to be cis, you just know yourself better now.

now go be happy and fuck around and don’t worry too much about labels, alright?

sending so so much love!! i hope i could help you out. take care of yourself, kay? <33333

[pysoch]

Hi guys I am going through sometjing RN so I thought I'd use my break at work to type out medic angst with my personal hcs woaowoaowa

Huge tw for the everything basicallt

Also tw for first person lol

=================

I am old. Each year I age and grow and change and I am old. There isn't any comfort in that, but it's hard to find any nowadays. I don't take to things like I did as a boy. Even with the new resources I have, I am old. Cutting down the skin of a man and splitting open whatever's inside him had started to leave me empty and bored. I've defied death, created machines to heal others of fatal wounds in an instant, invented immortality even if for a small duration, and it has given me nothing but a yearning for-

For..

Nothing.

For nothing.

I've accomplished it all. Done every feat doctors and medical professionals have beaten their lives for, and yet I have no celebration. I sit in my sterile office, on my uncomfortable chair, and stare at this form on my desk lengthening my employment. Even my coworkers give me no more than living entities to accompany my melancholy. And all I do as I stay here is get older. There's nothing left for me. God, I wish there was.

My thoughts wandered far, far from my accomplishments. No matter how I anchor them. It drifts. My eyes wander, too. They rest on the silver tray I have a lengths way from my desk. I kick the corner of it, full of floor-level marks in an odd streak. They resemble tally marks, six in total, all etched in dried fluid. It'd been too long, too many weeks for me to recall what for. On the surface is various tools I've used through my wretched career. Still probably clean from when I last polished them. Not probably; definitely. It's all I can do. Before my body and mind communicate it's already put me out, and back in the chair. The only thing that changes is the silver tool now in my palm. Scalpel. Yet my thumb pressed on it slightly too hard; tense arthritis is my one ail. A trickle of blood brings warmth to my hand and the silver handle, now coated in red. It's a hive, and the swarm of vermin that follows is natural.

It's not as if I haven't seen my own blood before. I usually wipe it, cleanse it, more often than not leave it to dry. The difference now is what comfort is brings me. I've played God so long that being reminded of my mortality has nearly set adrenaline through me too fast. My lungs pause their usual track before continuing the laborious activity. A small droplet sinks between the meticulously crafted oak paper below me and stain a word I was writing. An ugly thing blotting up my paper and driving me to pull back and out a paste to cover the mistake and keep writing. My body doesn't budge. I've forgotten I can bleed. I've forgotten I am not immortal. I press into the edge again.

Another slit. Yet more falls down my thumb. Instead of a stinging sensation of air hitting the receptors in my skin, I feel an overwhelming sense of joy. My body pumps itself out of the seat and to the desk itself while I stand hunched over. My untarnished thumb retracts the cuff of my sleeve and brings to light the pale flesh I hide under layers of professionalism. I can see blue and purple lines so faintly through them, pushing on their cages every time my fingers curl. I could hear them. They were suffocating while I watched and put all my focus into the dull throb they released in pain of claustrophobic masses. Hundreds of them; veins. Desperately wanting to be shown the world and I wielded the exit. It didn't take but a moment for me to unlock it, twisting in the key until the prongs fell into place, turning, and yanking it back out again. It jammed. I repeated the process thrice on the different locks of my mortal vessel until finally I withdrew. Their screams were of joy, and I was immediately rewarded with a blissful pleasure that hardly allowed me sense to stand.

Of course, my limb was coated with the slick and foul liquid that had drowned my unwilling captors. It slid out of the exits and down into clusters that dropped on the desk and scrawled away in feverish escape. The paper was nearly coated, now. Ink replaced for crimson and sometimes clotted so close it appeared black. I could only bite down on the inside of my cheek as I beheld my damage. Three- no, four- large gashes that no longer had blue visible. Yet still, the pulsating plead for release filled me deeper than lust for an untampered body devoid of scars. I attempted to put my freeing tool more and more within me, seeing white gifts spot my vision as my eyes tilted back to behold the ceiling fluorescents like angels. The euphoria was halted almost instantly as I realized I was unable to go further into the lock. Through squinting I could make out a thick white layer below the red, and under that an even sea of solid mass my scalpel couldn't sear through. My own bone. It shone gorgeously in the room. A gem hidden away in a tower that took perseverance and understanding to climb. It shone brilliantly. I nearly welcomed it as a friend before noticing it was merely a fragment. Loneliness is the death of man, I'd be no better than a tyrant if I forced him alone.

So further I worked to peel back the layers on my arm that read white. Eventually, I had accumulated so much shredded flesh on the desk it appeared like a normal surgery. Cutting back bit by bit rendered my arm suddenly useless. Hardly could I raise it above my waist anymore. And so it was; residing like a sleeping prince and pouring out waterfalls of life each passing second. Guilt consumed me at the sight of that lonesome bone, even if revealed. It's two-hundred brothers still begged unveiled beauty. Not a time to let rest take over. Instead, it was back to slashing and inserting, twisting and squelching up my side. The fabric of one of my favorite button-up shirts was no doubt long gone to these fruitful messes. There was a issue when it came to my sides. Through years of core strength in lifting men, gear, and other objects around there was a large barrier of muscle. It'd take toiling I had no patience for. The ribs could wait. It was truly my spine aching release. Not aided with a mirror nor flexibility, it was certainly wise for me to begin where it was most prominent and accessible. I tilted my head down in a mockery of prayer and found my way easily until the back of my neck had vertebrae poking through the mesh. A matter of seconds passed before the thin layers were able to reveal the bumps and grooves. It brought unbridled sensations down to me. I clung to that high, ripping away all I could and following the skin's path until a hasty move made my limbs render weak and useless. I felt everything spin and heard the resounding crack of my skull on the office floor. I never came to, as I hadn't passed out. Instead I was almost paralyzed in this state. I heard a faint drip and couldn't locate the source with my eyes. It took another two minutes for me to realize I was dying. A path of fatty tissue had falsely lead me to slitting out the front of my throat, causing my breathing laboured through blood and instead of my mouth, instead travelling out the crack. I was horrified and appalled at myself. My planning was so hasty, so unwise, that I led myself to death before getting to experience more of my precious body and its ability to be mauled by my own motivation. I'd remember next time the neck stays last. Everything was suddenly getting all too quiet for me. I raised my finger, dipping it in my excess fluids and deeply swiping it on the bottom wall of my desk. A tally of seven times by now that I've ended up dead at my own hands. Such is the way of suicide. After being robbed of death, it becomes a mercy. Most methods are unconventional, sloppy, and boring. Bullets don't give you time, hangings don't give you pleasure, and overdose hardly lets you feel at all. By the time I walk out of the doors to respawn, I'll have forgotten. I'll forget the love and darling sensation that is agony and killing yourself to revel in the beauty. It was far too late for me to write it down for reference; I undoubtedly had less than ten seconds left. The first time I died, I felt a cradle of my mother hold my head tenderly and comfort me. God took her away the third time I didn't learn my lesson that this game I play with myself was a mockery of his gift of temporary joys of Earth. Damn that bastard for being right. I'd prove his creation wrong once more the next time around.

As for right now, my lungs have stopped. My heart quit beating twelve seconds ago. My hearing is the last to fade in the gorey scene, but my own gasping and dripping wound excrements are a lullaby I hold dearer than most.

[transformself]

so i woke up from two dreams basicallt alluding to my internal struggle with my body image

the first one featured this tall goddess of a woman who was lanky and she was thin and i was with my brother and his friend in a supermarket when we saw her. Basically they called her fat and I was like she’s not fat you can see her spine and ribs how is she fat. this then prompted me to spiral in my dream and get panicked and start sobbing uncontrollably.

The next dream was that i was a dancer in this like synchronized group and the director called me out for getting it wrong and then later he said “yknow don’t get too overwhelmed about this but this group is the plus sized group” which then made me upset again upon waking up.

So yeah i’d say internalized body hatred is where i’m at but i am trying to eat healthier today so i won’t feel so bad. This all might’ve stemmed from how I bought this gorgeous prom dress and it doesn’t fit me aesthetically so 😞

[lesbian-hannibal]

i was just reading some of your replies to the question things and razzmatazz!!!!! what an ALBUM i love her!! also i can’t believe you only started this blog in november it feels like you’ve just been here forever wtf time is Broken

the thought of someone going through and reading my replies to asks is baffling.. i am not interesting

but yes razzmatazz!!!! idkhbtfm quickly become one of my favs when i first found em in 2019 and have stayed there (also brobecks basicallt dallon weekes i love u) (also ryan i love u too)

but yeah!! i think is started this blog on like nov 1st!! so like only a month (wow that is scary actually) but it has been a v enjoyable time and i will never understand why i never returned to tumblr earlier!!

i also think i just fit in here v easily since i spent the majority of my formative years on here in one way or another so it comes naturally to me

[nevergenders]

.

[j1ngi]

i'm

[t0d0r0kee]

Ohhhhmygooodddd what are your feelings after the newest leaks? I'm already forming a prayer circle for todo to recover from all of this, feel free to join lmao

YES EVERYONE JOIN THE PRAYER CIRCLE FOR SHOUTO!!

But let’s see... (BNHA 292 SPOILERS BELOW)

Okay so.. I’m extremely conflicted by this weeks chapter. There’s so many different things happening and angles to approach this from that all just make me feel different ways.

First, I AM TERRIFIED FOR NEJIRE. Seeing just how much she was hit and seeing Shouto and Izuku’s reaction to her being burnt just amplifies my terror here.. but hopefully Iida gets her help immediately because I can’t see my girl Neji die.

Second, it breaks me heart seeing Izuku telling himself that if Shouto can fight through all the pain he’s dealing with then so can he. They both admire eachother so much. On top of that just seeing that he’s possibly telling himself not to be useless (after being called that for so long) especially in this moment just breaks my heart.

AS FOR SHOUTO V. DABI! First of all, let’s establish this: Endeavor is shit. Even now this is all his fault. However, this does not completely justify Dabi’s action either. But I say this about Endeavor because if it weren’t for Endeavor Dabi wouldn’t be who he is.. yes he is an adult that can make his own decisions but it’s Endeavors abuse of him as a child that helped set this path in motion and that can’t be pushed aside because Dabi has turned into the monster he has turned into. NOW, Shouto pointing out to him that he could’ve gotten Natsuo killed, the brother he turned to when he was hurting, and hearing Dabi say something along the lines of like “well it would make Endeavor suffer” literally shattered me. Not to mention Dabi telling Shouto he’s glad he’s finally got the opportunity to kill him (after I’ve spent weeks convincing myself that Dabi only wants to hurt Endeavor and isn’t going to harm Shouto) and then SHOUTO CALLING HIM TOUYA WHILE THEYRE BASICALLT BURNING EACHOTHER ALIVE?????? I AM SO SCARED FOR NEXT WEEK!! IM TRYING WAY TOO HARD NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT BREAKS ME EVERYTIME!!

NOW LETS TALK ABOUT TINTIN!! I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM!! As soon as I saw his panels I was like... ohhh maybe we’re safe.. like I love him so much.. and I’m gonna go ahead and assume Eri brought his quirk back.. so if he turns out to be pivotal in winning this battle and saving lives.. knowing thag little Eri is what made thag possible just makes me heart melt..

Overall, I AM PETRIFIED!! Tomorrow we get the scans with unofficial translations (I’m assuming) so I know I’m gonna be dying after that.. then Sunday the official scans and come Wednesday I’ll be crying all over again so...

That’s that..

[grittyreadsfic]

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

🌙  What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

honestly the fact that i finished and posted two whole ass fics to ao3 this year-it's been years since i've posted fic and i have 30k of fic posted and i'm so proud of myself for that!!!! i also used to be the type to struggle to get to 1000 words and posted a fic that was almost 27k so that too

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

i am an average writer creating content for the devils that is basicallt just tropey nonsense i kind of assume my readers hate everything i write but i write for me so that fine! people dont' have to like it! i'm having fun!

🌙  What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

i am my most productive between 5:30 am and 1 pm but i have an office job so rip to that. otherwise it's less a time and more the vibe? i do a lot of writing sprints and productivity hours to get things done tbh

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

idk what these words mean but i have bulleted lists for every fic i write detailing what each scene will be in what order with extensive background and worldbuilding so!

[elysianslove]

congrats on 5k miss sal!!!! <3 U DESERVE IT N MORE 💖💖

also joining in ur ask game!!!! i don't rly have set ships bc i just like seeing everyone but sakuatsu is v good 😳 i don't actively seek out content for them but their dynamic is *chefs kiss* – also they're pretty

and i'm a simple girl, i love love love bokuatsu too bc they're my top 2 and seeing them at the same time?!?)???? (? (? i saw one promo art of them this one time and it's basicallt all i talked abt the entire day pls;;;;; tho honestly i can see bokuto w pretty much anyone bc he has so much love in him and he deserves it all too 😔💖

OH BUT I ALSO LIKE USHISAKU?!???? THEY HAVE THIS RIVALRY THING GOING ON AND I'M 👀👀 LOOKING VERY RESPECTFULLY 👀👀 —🦊

thank you lovely 🥺 omg i haven’t heard about bokutoatsu and ushisaku but ,,, i am interested. intrigued, if you will 👀but i agree, you could ship bokuto with pretty much anyone bc he does have so, so much love in him 🥺

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Hi hun! I'm sorry things are rough for you right now. You shouldn't ever feel like that (nor should you ever feel like this isn't a safe place for you to vent). From what I've seen after following you for quite a while, you are endlessly supportive of everyone you come across on this site and deserve that back. I was getting into writing this message (had why you are great points and was ready to write up support arguments) but tumblr cut me off before I could get too sappy. In short, love you!!

hahaha well i super appreciate it thank you! i also super auper appreciate the fact i CAN vent here at all and retain some (relative) anonymity vs ya know fb ♡ i just dont get it, this isnt the way i was raised so why do my prents act this way? why didnt they listen to me over a yearback when i said the cat had tumors and they didnt wanna spend the money to check but at the end they were ready to do ANYTHING it took (we dont even go to the doctors ourselves... thanks amierica) and now dad is SUPER dep[resed over ‘killing’ the cat (it was mercy, i know for a fACT It was but he wasnt unable to use the litterox or jump ike the cat we had to put down last year...the sweetest cat too, I had to be doctor death because my parents couldnt do it and my poor younger siblings (im eldest) couldnt do it) so i had to be the one to technically kil him and that has stuck deep with me, i dont deal with death the same way other people do, i know i dont,, and he was so scared and cried when we brought him and he peed in the cat carrier and i didnt want to do it i wanted to go back home with him, and i made my siblings swear nt to tell my grieving parents, and then THIS cat couldnt been avoidable but they didnt listen to me and now he had to be put down and just im frustrated over what didnt need to hapen even with a 20yr old cat had they LISTENED To me im just upset about a mutlitude of things but htak you for putting up with my venting and nonsense.

i know it makes people feel weird and awkward, and some feel olbgated to say something (plz never do! i would hate to put things on others or emotionally manipulate anyone in any way, i just want to vent nd know it had been ackonlwgned i guess) and i just dont underatand why peopel dont listen (esp. my parents).

I mean, i am the ONLY one of my entire extended family to ever go to colege nd complete a degree. I was technically a diplomat in japan. I have the brain skills to be a CIA operative. i speak and understand mutliple lanagues (i wanna get to ten) and other than that, we grew up homeless until i was about 16? maybe 13 i dont etirely recall, but i have street skills as well and i have live din two foreign countries (cant see the forest through the trees and all that) and yet my opinions still count for shit, or my relaive youth (im over 30, letys make that official i am no child) but my dad keeps saying i dont have the years he has (and i NEVER will while hes alive its a moot point) but my paents are xenophobves and ive WORKED for a foreign givenemnt and lived in two foreign countries but im a woman and bisexual and this goes against everything they undersand as normal, and then where the poor cat is concerned like im not a doc, i got a BA not a BS, so my opinons count for shit, and i just want everyone to be nice qnd take proper action with things and not cause others pain and have empathy towards those who have less (i grew up homeless and we were poor until maybe five-7 years ago?)) and just everything huRTS SO MUCH and i am TRYING so goddamn hard all the time but im ultimately at my parents mercy (i live at home because california is too expesive to live in a real9tively safe place alone) and work is fucking me and im trying so damn hard to be a good person and do whats right and help others when i wouldve wanted help and just looking at the bigger picture and it just hurts because there is no room for good in the world o matter how hard you try and every time i try to gte ahead i just for balls .

The good part is, i have two kittens who will be one year come april(or march i dont remember) and my kitty Scratches LOVES me just for me with no other expectaton, so i mean, i have that much. Basicallt i am just really really hurting and i will probably bounce back in full force rather quickly after this pity party but i am very grateful for the chance to vent and also feel heard so to speak, ya dig? :D

ANyways, thank you anon, i love you, you rock, and sorry for alk the serous spelling errors, i am on my 8th beer of the hour trying to hurt myself and/or make the pain go away BAHAHAH XD aint working yet but i havent brought the weed into the mix yet..... that usualy makes me happy. The xanqx stopped the full blow paic attack over helpless feeligs i am powerless against, but i am not happy but trying to get comfortably num. I am on my 8th beer of the hour tho so HEY lets see!! XD

...i am  a mess. DISCLAIMER do not try any of this at home, i am a 30something queer sad sack with adhd and panic disorder who no loger destoys items but instead tries to destroy herself becaus eit will hurt no one but me LOLOOL

....also i feel SUPER guilty about waiting to update ALL sales final and also the new commission i need to get done solike, bear with me, i am trying SO fucking hard right now and i feel like i am supr letting everyone down but i will get there i promise! I will probably be riht as rain tomorrow and i am sorry for ,lll the maudelin nonsense i know plenty of you are not interested and we wil back to our our regularly scheduled bullahit after i bury it all haha

much love, posonjack

[brokenximagination-archive]

// I... feel the need to apologise. (and I’m also very drunk r/n so please pardon the typos, if any, I cba to proof read this tbh...)). So idk how long its been since I’ve last responded/posted anything, but a prsume a While (tm). Basically work is crazy. Dont get me wrong, I’m gratreful for the fact that I HAVE work atm, but I’m working a 7 days in/7 days off kinda working pattern because of C-19. Which wouldnt usually be an issue, I;ve worked 10 days in a row beofre, but it’s real jarring plus the extra hard wokr as we’re skeleton crew and because of the added guilt with having to travel to work when my mum is high risk, and my thyroid is fucking up and im not able to get a blood test atm, and im cold turkey on antidepresants (if you even knoew im now on them> listen, it;s been a long time, I;m sorry) because supply isnt getting to pharmacys atm. Its... a time. But hey, I;ve gotten that ‘promotion’ I wanted, although im not a part of the team just yeat because of C-19. So I’m now a part of the ‘Seed and wellbeing’ Team, looking after the new wellbeing garden. Which is the job I wanted for a while.  

Basicallt...

I have too any hobbies..

I love gaming, I love cosplay, I love drawing and doiung art stuff. So I’ve beeen focussing on that tbh. I was slowly falling out of love of roleplaying and it was adding unnecessary stress to an already kinda stressfull life. Some parts were enjoyable but there was a lot that felt more obligatory than hobbyish (whoa I spelt obligatory correctly while intoxicated wtf fancy that). So I slowly... dropped it. And Im sorry for not saying goodbye or anything. But I come home from work so tired as it’s basically underpaid manual labour, plus extra bits that theyn want me to do because I ‘owe’ them for giving me a aprrenticship. so I havent had time to write because one high wuality reply takes me like... an hour to write. Which is time I dont have anymore.

So like... long story short, I’m gonna have to quit tumblr roleplaying if I want to go forward with my career....Whcih I really.... REALLY want to do. I want to become a world renowknowned horticulturlist. 

HOWEVER.

I do miss the roleplay partners that I have gotten close to over the years. You have become some close friends and I;m truly sorry for disappreaing without saying anything. The people from here that I am closest to are on my discord anyway, so if you want to roleplay or chat with me on discord, then please, P

So please contact me on discord. If you belive that we have gotten close and never got round to connecting on discord, please send me your details (im currently too drunk to remember, god im sorry) and we can roleplay over discord WHEN... I have time. I;m sorry but with my career and my chronic illnesses making me as low energy and fuckin possible, it’s hard. But I want to try for the people that have been my friends for years and have been there for me. 

Again. Im sorry for disappearing. It;s been a stuggle. But I truly do love you, I miss you, and I want to keep being creative. I mght not be able to do it over tumblr anymore, but I wont delete my blogs so they will always be there for reread purposes. I will cosplay on tiktok as I really enjoy it and it;s quickish for me to create, and I’m willing to rpoleplay over discord when and if I have the chance. 

I love you, I;m sorry, and I guess... Goodbye?

Nos da,

Aiden

[thegospelofnagisa]

I heard you like TouhouDo you have any favorite characters or least favorite characters and why?Favorite Music? Favorite Manga (Offical ones)? Favorite Game? And any favorite fan works? I’m sorry asking too much and that question came out nowhere xd

Well yeah I do like Touhou, it's fine don't worry, better to talk about Touhou than Inu Curry taking a shit on Magia Record.

My favorite character is Marisa, I know I am sorry, I am a basic person in that regard but I just love Marisa, her energetic and mischivious personality, but what I love the most about her is how hard working she is, how she has become a really powerful magician by basicallt working her ass off to achieve it, despite being a so goofy and playful, a very nice contrast, which I find is very common among Touhou characters, a contradicting dissonance in their personalities and their actions, which does fit with the overall theme of the series.

I have never read the official mangas though, so I have no favorites there, I do have my favorite doujins though, which are the ones made by Happy Flame Time, the art is very pretty and they are legit very funny, I love that Merlin Tamiflu Bavarian Ice Cream joke SO MUCH XD

As for the games I do like Imperishable Night, it is very flexible and the history is simply fantastic, and I like the variety of character selections you can pick from. that Malice canon is killer :P

Music I don't have a preference in particular, but I often find myself inclined to Sanae's Theme and Suwako's stage theme, mostly because of the name, it's a catchphrase I often say myself when I have a bad day. So yeah, that is my Touhou credit XD