#so bottom line is that i am aware of all the places i might want to work on. but i shouldnt stress so much on it

[syndxlla]

best friends don’t look at each other the way we do

A low stakes, high rewards and self-indulgent Zelink fanfic. Canon-compliant, takes place between BOTW and TOTK

chapter three: She is beautiful, I am a mess

Read chapter two here

My masterlist

Song: Lights are On by Tom Rosenthal

Summary: Link processes his destiny while Zelda slowly recovers. Link meets with an old friend, and realizes how much he wants to Zelda in his life.

Warnings: PTSD, implied self-harm, illness, trauma

Word Count: 3.3k words

Authors note: The last line of this? Scrumptious. I ate that up. Also I’m going to start doing different pieces of art/gifs at the start of each chapter mostly so I can see the differences in the notifications! Thanks for all the support! Everyone has been so kind this is easily the most supportive fan base I’ve ever written for.

Link doesn’t leave her side the entire night, yet again. He sits on a stool pushed against the bed, and watches as she breathes in the sleep. He refuses to sleep, which means he’s gone about four days now with very little actual rest. This normally wouldn’t be a problem, but fighting Ganon on the second day of that no sleep schedule has really taken a toll on his physical health.

In his quiet contemplation as Zelda rested, the weight of what just happened set in. His heart rate rose as he remembered the sight of the Calamity, its spider-like body dripping with malice and disgust as it sneered at him. The stench is still pungent in his memory, his bad ear still beats with the blood that filled his body as he faced his destiny for a second time. He’s supposed to be courageous, unafraid and rarely daunted by his fate, but in reality he’s terrified.

Link doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the feeling in his bones as witnessed by the beast. How he felt paralyzed, how the night before he prayed to the Goddess that he wouldn’t wake up. Make someone else do it, please.

He could never admit this to anyone, and even struggles to admit it to himself. If he’s supposed to be the closest thing to the God of Bravery, why does he feel like such a pathetic coward most of the time? Maybe it was his reckless abandon that caused his status, or the fact that he’s so desensitized to the horrors of his knighthood. But those things do not equate to courage.

What even was courage, he asks himself.

He looks at Zelda. “She is beautiful”, he thinks “I am a mess”.

Link places a nervous thumb to her jaw with trepidation. He gently holds her face, soft enough that it wouldn’t wake her. Her skin is so soft, her eyelashes so gentle, her breathing even. Does she have any idea how beautiful she is when she sleeps?

When day finally breaks, Link realizes how cold it’s gotten in the house, and he takes the brave step of leaving the sleeping princess to build a fire in the hearth. He does so quickly, using a fire arrow. He pulls on a warm shirt, and quickly returns upstairs to Zelda.

She was awake, looking up at him.

“You should keep sleeping.” He whispers.

She groans, “Why did you leave?” She was aware enough to tell?

“I built a fire.” Link explains, "It's cold.”

“Oh.” Zelda whispers, “I am cold.”

Link crosses to his dresser and pulls out a woven blanket from the bottom drawer, draping it over her and the blanket she already had. She whispers thank you. ”Did you dream?” Link asks.

Zelda nods.

“It was me and my mom, we were eating and laughing together.” She describes and Link smiles. He places his hand against her forehead, and feels that she’s burning up. Of course she has a fever, that would cause her body to have the chills, that on top of a cold house wasn’t a good fit.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, vocalizing from a whisper for the first time.

Zelda thinks about it for a moment, she’s so snuggled up in the blankets all he can see is her face. “I’m not sick.” She states. Link is skeptical, but he nods.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to leave me again?” She asks.

“I might. I think I’ll go into town and get some things from the market, and I should probably send a message to Impa that we’re alive.” Link explains. Zelda frowns.

“I’m scared to be alone again.”

Link frowns, “You’ll be okay. But you need to sleep, your body is trying to recover from-“ He stops himself, he doesn't need to explain any further.

“You need sleep, too.” Zelda replies. She was right.

“I’ll be fine.” He shrugs it off. “But you need to promise me that you’ll be okay if I leave for a few hours, alright?”

Zelda groans, “You’ll come back, right?”

“Of course.”

It’s a few more hours before he leaves, he waits until Zelda falls back asleep, and it’s mid-morning when he finally does. He makes his way into Hateno Village, which is as lively as ever. He first stops in at the general store, buying a few essential items, and telling the store keeper about where he was last.

“You’re telling me you got rid of that thing at Hyrule Castle?” He asks, skeptical. Link just nods and shrugs as he examines a swift carrot. Like it was no big deal. The man laughs behind the counter, “And you lived to tell the tale? I don’t believe it.” He scoffs.

Link sets his items on the table between them, digging out a handful of rupees. “Well, I lived to tell the tale of Naydra last year, you all witnessed that, didn’t you?”

“I suppose… but that thing at the castle is a legend, I never even saw it. Just got told ghost stories of it as a boy.” His voice was gruff.

Link smiles, “whatever you want to believe, you don’t have to believe me.” Link sets to rupees down.

“That’s more than the cost.” The man states.

“Keep it.” Link pushes it towards him before putting his items in his pouch. “Use it to fix your roof, I saw it was leaking.”

The man smiles, “you’re always so good to us, Link. This village owes you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, except maybe your trust. The story will spread and rumors will, too.” Link turns to leave, but stops just outside of the door, speaking over his shoulder. “It wasn’t a ghost either, it was a spider-like thing that hatched out of a cocoon with giant axes and swords.” Link opens his arms up to show the size, “Probably at least the size of three oxen!” The shopkeeper's face goes pale, “But that wasn’t even the hard part!” Link starts to smile mischievously, “Then we took the battle onto Hyrule Field, and he turned into a massive pig. As big as a house, or bigger.”

The owner was dumbfounded, unable to reply at first, but then he shook his head, “You have quite the imagination, Link!” He chuckles and waves him off. Link just grins as he exits the shop.

He makes his way up the mountain to Purah and Symin’s, making a stop at the farm to pet the cows and help the owner with a broken fence post in trade for some milk. It was about noon now, and he wasn’t expecting to take as long to get to the Tech Lab, but the fence was absolutely destroyed. The farmer didn’t know what caused it, but it certainly wasn’t a cow…

The light on the Hateno valley is warm and inviting. It will be the harvest soon. Link had missed his days here. Early on after he woke up, he spent weeks at a time in this little village. Mostly because he was still too poor to afford sleeping anywhere other than his home. It was a safe home base for him when he was freeing the divine beasts. It wasn’t until he had laid his friends' spirits to rest that he became the wild child of the forest he was now. The last year or so he stopped spending more than a few days anywhere, it was the anxiety of the upcoming battle he kept avoiding that caused him to become such a nomad. He learned that it was always free to sleep in trees.

He gets to the lab, and before he can even open the door, Purah is swinging the door open. “Linky! You’re alive!” She cheers, looking up at him.

”I am,” Link replies with a smile, “and Zelda is, too.”

Purah smiles wide, her eyes becoming fiery, “Incredible. Is she okay!” She opens the door for Link, he enters the messy-as-usual lab, setting his sack of goodies down on the table.

“I don’t know…” Link shakes his head, “She’s very tired all the time, and she passed out quite unexpectedly last night.” He sighs. “I’m actually rather worried about her.” He admits. “It took me a long time to wake her up after she passed out, too. Longer than it should have.” Purah walks over to the table before climbing on top of it to Link’s eye-level.

“But she’s alive! And I’m assuming her body has been preserved, no?”

“It has, she doesn’t look a day over seventeen. But her spirit and her mind has changed, she’s tired.”

“Aren’t we all…” Purah shakes her head, “But no one as much as her.” She shrugs, “I would love to run some tests on you two, it might help me figure out my age issue.”

“More tests? I thought you said you were done with me?” Link groans.

“Nope, now that Zelda is here I want to take a sample of her DNA, too, and see if I can reverse-engineer it to cross with my DNA and get me back to my preferred physical age. I’m sick of this.” She gestures to her child-like state.

“When she’s feeling better I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’ll say yes, considering her love of science and all.”

“Alright Linky, what are you here for, I know you didn’t come to just talk, you always need something from me.” She teases.

“Alright Purah… don’t be mad.” He says as he reaches into his pouch to pull out a smashed and destroyed sheikah slate: the same one that got him through his quest.

Purah’s face goes white. “You did not just do that to an ancient piece of indestructible tech.” She reaches for it, taking the device in her hand and cringing.

“Well it wasn’t that indestructible, now was it?” Link asks with an awkward laugh.

“How?” Purah asks, traumatized.

“It happened while I fought Ganon, it kind of… exploded, and then he trampled it as a giant hog in Hyrule field.”

“That is…” She chooses her words carefully, “Epic, Linky.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No! But you’re gonna be when you can warp to sheikah hotspots. You’ll just have to go on foot like the rest of us. Speaking of, did you see what happened to the shrine in the ocean?”

“What?” He obviously didn’t.

“It sunk back into the ground, completely gone! Symin watched it happen! I’m curious about that happening to the other sheikah tech…” She gets lost in thought, and Link realizes that they all might disappear just as fast as they were found. “No one is gonna be more heartbroken about this than the Princess.” Purah finishes her thoughts.

“I’m hiding it from her. She can’t take a heart break in this state.” Link groans, sitting down in one of the chairs by the table. “Purah… I need you to send a message to Impa. I would go myself in person and be back by dinner but I can’t because the slate is gone. I know you sheikah have weird ways of communicating through distance, especially you sisters.” Link sighs.

“Oh she’ll beat you if you don’t go in person. You know how she is.”

“Yes. Which is why I am absolutely sick over this. But I can’t leave Zelda, she’s not okay, and I don’t know how long it’s going to be until she is.” He explains. “Impa can be mad at me all she wants, but she deserves to know that we are both alive and safe, and Ganon is not.”

Purah squints, “Fine. But you owe me.”

“As if saving the world wasn’t enough.” Link scoffs playfully.

“Hey! Don’t get cocky, no one likes a cocky hero. Besides, it’s not like you did it on your first try.” Purah jumps down from the table and Link’s entire body seizes. She freezes in her tracks when she realizes she said that out loud. She slowly turns around to see Link tense and unhappy. “Linky… I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“

He says nothing at first, “Is that what you guys say about me?”

“Link, we've always pushed each other's buttons like that.”

“It’s fine.” He sighs, it wasn’t fine. He signs, “I’m leaving. I don’t need anyone else’s shit.” He always signed when his emotions were at risk of betraying his words. He didn’t want to upset someone with his words. Purah isn’t very good at signs, but she gets the gist.

It was rare to see Link genuinely mad, especially at someone he cared about and knows is good. But that was out of line.

“Link…”

“Will you just tell Impa that we’re okay. Both of us. The calamity is gone and we’ll come visit as soon as we get our strength back.” He grabs his belongings and heads out.

“Wait-“ Purah tries to stop him but he leaves too fast. He takes a deep breath when he gets outside, looking out towards the sea. He walks towards the edge of the cliff, staring out at the horizon, letting the salty sea air blow on his skin. He looks where the shrine that lived in the water once was, and nothing was there but the original mound of island sand it sat on.

Back at home, Zelda is still in bed, and Link frowns when he sees her. He sits on his stool next to her, placing his hand against her forehead again. Her fever hasn’t broken.

“I’m home.” He whispers, and she stirs awake, her green eyes looking up at him. She smiles.

“I had the most wonderful dream.” She sighs. “We were at the beach, you and I, and Impa and Urbosa… and my mother.” Link worries that she dreams about those who have passed, he brushes some of her golden hair out of her face. “We looked at the water and listened to the seagulls. My mother was so beautiful and healthy, not like how she was when I remembered her.”

Zelda was very young when her mother died, and she was quite ill for the years leading up to her passing. Link remembered that, he remembered many of the things Zelda opened up to him about in their final days before The Calamity. “Do you want some water?” Link asks, she nods. He stands up, making his way to the well outside and scooping a bucket of it before coming back in. He finds her sitting up in bed.

“Did you get up all by yourself?” He asks with a smile. She nods, her face still pale and expression lost. She was much worse today. Link scoops some water out with a cup, and hands it to her. She shakily holds it in both hands, bringing the wooden mug up to her lips and sipping lightly. Link sits beside her this time, but he feels petrified.

In the last two days they've already crossed so many boundaries. He feels as though he has to be the stoic Knight from before, never looking at her for too long, not speaking unless spoken to, and especially not touching without explicit permission. That was a whole lifetime ago, however, and he’s barely the same person he was when those were the rules.

But even so, he can’t help but follow those roles that he keeps breaking. He shouldn’t see her in such a state: shirt too loose, eyes droopy, sighs so gentle and alluring it could tame a lynel.

He knows no one is watching them, no one is there to judge them, but he cannot bring himself to hold her hand as she shakes, even though he desperately wants to. Placing his hand on her head to check for temperature and burns in her hair from her face was already a serious breach of protocol, and yet when he did it, he felt so comfortable, so safe. He felt more like himself.

Maybe what’s holding him back is the knowledge that she didn’t lose her memories. To her, he is supposed to be that obedient servant.

He knows they got very close towards the end. Based on the memories he’s recollected, he knows they broke those rules far more than they should have. But it was always by Zelda’s instigation. She wanted him to place his hand on the small of her back as they walked, she asked him to lace up her goddess dress, she initiated the gentle touches and hugs of despair.

Now, he’s terrified of taking advantage of her in her sickly state, but he wants so badly to lie with her. To finally get some rest of his own, in his own bed, holding the girl he worked so tirelessly to rescue.

He wishes he could rest as a reward.

He reminds himself that her presence, safety and life is reward enough.

And goddess, is that a wonderful reward. Her weight sinking down the bed, her intoxicating smell, their shoulders just barely brushing. She was incredible, completing a feat that no one had ever come close to accomplishing, and here she was, in his home, in his bed, wearing his clothes.

Link's stomach flips, and he immediately forces himself to relax. Realizing how immature his though process was. This was a princess, not a girl in the Gerduo Brothel. He was confused.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks him, pulling him out of his rampant thoughts. He snaps back to reality.

“What?” He turns to see her looking up at him with her shiny eyes. “Oh…” He desperately wants to tell her, tell her that he’s thinking of her and only her. For three years he spent sleepless nights staring at the heavens and thinking about her. How he hungrily searched for every memory just to hear her voice, and how he took her diary out of the castle to read every page, even the ones that were scribbled with doodles and blacked-out poetry. He wanted to tell her that he fell for her the moment she told him to open-his-eyes, and when he finally remembered what she looked like, she was even prettier than what he imagined.

“…Horses.” He says, dumbfounded and foolish. She smiles.

“I’ve always admired how you loved them. You were the best rider in all of the guard, I fully believe it’s because of how gentle you were with them. They trusted you, which made them listen to you.”

The way she spoke was so thoughtful, so intelligent. Link catches himself accidentally looking at her lips, but yanks his eyes away.

“W-What were you thinking about?” He asks.

She looks off, swallowing thickly. Zelda then lifts her hand, holding it palm up, staring at it. Nothing happens.

“My gift isn’t working anymore.” She states. “I tried while you were getting the water, and look, nothing.” Zelda explains. Link looks at her hand, not knowing what he’s supposed to see.

Her hand is so soft, her fingers long and slender, her nails clean and rounded to perfection.

Her wrists are littered with old scars.

Link wants to take her hand. She sets it down in her lap, “I suppose that’s alright. I don’t need them anymore.”

“What was it like?” Link asks. “In that castle.” Zelda shudders. “You don’t have to say.” Link states.

Zelda carefully constructs her words, “Cold. All the time I was cold. I wasn’t conscious usually, but I wasn’t… unconscious either. I know it makes no sense. I was in a sort of trance. Time seemed to move at a rapid pace while also simultaneously standing still.” She looks at him, rotating her body to face him, he mirrors her.

“Did he ever… say anything?” Link asked.

Zelda nodded, “In the beginning he would whisper constantly, but it was an ancient language I didn’t understand. The longer time went on, the more tired he got, but the wiser I became. He spoke less, and I was able to pick up on certain words and phrases. He didn’t expect me to last as long as I did, that’s for certain.”

Link listens intently, “How did you do it, last so long?” He asks.

Zelda’s big, green eyes meet his. She takes his hand with hers.

“Because I knew one day you would wake up.”

—

Read Chapter four here

[thelov3lybookworm]

You Deserve Better (part 5.1)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

A/n: If you haven't read part five before this, it might not make sense, so I suggest you read that first.🥰

•○🌑○•

Rhys's pov

It took a few moments for the paper he'd sent to Thea to return, and when it did, he couldn't help but chuckle as it hit him straight in his face.

He was standing on one of the balconies. He rolled it open, smiling, but that smile slowly drained away and his eyes widened as he reached the bottom of her writing. He read it again and again, trying to not hope too much. It could mean nothing, but then why would she write what she did?

Skyward camp, the one closest to Velaris.

Could it be where she was? But why would she stay there? Could it–As he was too busy trying to make sense of the letter, he didn't realise someone was coming his way. He looked up as soon as Feyre appeared in front of him and he put his mask back on. But while he talked to her, he was still constantly thinking about the letter.That is until, of course, he realised she was his mate. He forgot everything and all he could think about was Feyre and the bond.

He winnowed himself away. He hadn't really thought of a place, but when he opened his eyes, he found himself near a forest. When he turned around, he realised he had arrived at a camp. Because he had no place in his mind, he had winnowed himself to the place he was last thinking about.

Skyward camp.

He stumbled a few steps toward a house nearby, when the door opened and Thea, cauldron, his sister, with tears flowing down her face, stepped out in a flowy sundress with daisies designed on it. He couldn't stop stating at her, but he was still aware of the two males behind her.

The word flew out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Yes.

He grinned so hard his cheeks hurt, but he didn't care as he tried to get to her as fast as he could, barely stopping himself from face planting a couple of times. Not walking on snow for fifty years had probably made him forget how to walk on it.

She also ran to him, launching herself at him. He caught her, her arms around his neck, wobbling dangerously on his feet, but he laughed. Both of them did. Laughed like they had gone mad, but to be honest, they probably had.

"You're back." She whispered.

"I'm back." He agreed.

"Look at you. All grown up. I missed you so much." He screwed his eyes shut.

"You say that everytime you see me Rhysie." She laughedHe rocked her back and forth, not willing to let go of her yet. They stayed like that for long, before she pulled back to study his face.

"You've grown so pale." Althea sniffed and wiped his tears away. He just grinned at her, making her shake her head. "You've also become so thin. But don't worry. I'll help you get back to normal." She patted his shoulder.

Rhys knew she wasn't just talking about his appearance. He kissed her forehead and cheeks. "I know you will." Then he finally looked behind her to the Illyrians standing on the front porch of the house.

One with pale blue eyes was standing against the railing and the other was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and smiling.

Althea followed his line of sight and a flush climbed up her neck. "Um. That's the guy I am with. Come on."

Rhys's brows almost rose to his hairline, and she began tugging him towards the house. Both of the Illyrians bowed to him as he reached the porch.

"Rhys, this is Casteel, my..."

"Fiancé?" Casteel supplied.

Rhys's jaw dropped open.

"Casteel! I wanted to tell him later on!" He grinned.

"My bad then. I'm sorry. I'm her not fiancé.

"Althea facepalmed, exasperated. "He's my fiancé." Rhys again pulled her in for a bone crushing hug, laughing. Then Althea pointed to the other one. "Kieran. He's... the third wheel."

"I'm not." He seemed so offended that, even though Rhys knew he was only pretending, for a second Rhys felt sorry for him.

"Yeah. He's just a pain in my ass."

"I tolerate all the shit you put me through only to be called a third wheel and pain in your ass."

Althea grinned and looked up at Rhys, and finally he removed his arm from Althea's shoulder and introduced himself, even though they obviously would know who he was. "Rhysand."

"It's nice to finally meet you, my Lord." Casteel said. Rhys extended his hand, which Casteel took.

"It's nice to meet you too, the mysterious guy that she has been talking about all this time. Also, don't forget I will be testing you now that you're engaged." Thea slapped his shoulder, before tugging him into the house.

Since that day, Rhys frequented his visits to the camp to meet his precious little sister. And when Mor and the others asked him where he would vanish to, he deflected. They hadn't known the siblings had even written to each other, let alone meet. So he would keep it a secret until Althea was ready for them to know.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @Act1839 @we-were-beautiful

[aroace-poly-show]

hi more me guessing hw songs.

i learned the lyrics to Snowman by halyosy (lyrics) and now can't stop thinking of it as a potential hw song- not as a song they would cover, but as a song their virtual singer would sing to them (kaito to tsukasa specifically). i don't think you've ever shared virtual singer lore so im making it up drawing influence from the feelings of both the nightcord and wxs virtual singers

""I told a lie to my mom", a boy began to cry. I am made to be all white so that I can take away the darkness in his heart". -> n25s miku's whole thing is to be there for mafuyu and help ease the pain in her heart. i'd guess the virtual singers of hw would have a similar motivation. (also, the lie in question was that the boy had friends and was talented at school and sports, so that his dying mother didn't worry about him. if this isn't tsukasa at its core.)

"I tried to warm your cold smile, but I can't make a smile with my artificial eyes" -> but the vs aren't actually real (i dont want to think about the implications of sekai so i will leave it there), so what can they do other than provide support? provide a word here or there, a wish of healing? but also- the wishes of the virtual singers have to come from somewhere, right? is this not also the wish of hw- "i want you to be happy, even if i am not yet myself"?

"Neon tubes and monochrome snow" -> i actually don't really know what this line means in the actual song but here- the neon lights of the theater, the colorful world of the stage, and the cold, grey feelings freezing them in place?

"I'll tell you how to do it, I believe you can do it, Soft snow covers our tracks" -> this again as the wish of the virtual singers- i can't change for you, but i can offer advice and push you forward because i know you can (oh also spitball other point- kaito's line in his 1.5 anni card- "when faced with a wall, i don't want to push them up over from the bottom. I want to climb it myself and pull them up with me, so that we can see the other side together"). i had a connection to the soft snow covering our tracks part but i don't know how to say it in words. but in colors it's a soft orange. which i know doesn't make any sense.

"You ran with your friends" -> emu nene rui do i need to say more here. (yes because it never gets old. because of the pain, of the things that tore them down, of the steps they took back up, they found their dreams friends family).

"He will be alright now, 'cause there's no winter that isn't followed by spring" -> yes

also raising the point of snow imagery- it alrealy exists in normal n25- mafuyu did chose the name "yuki". and i think there was an event about it. i think that theme also works in hw. but instead of the damp, blue sort of snowfall that feels cold and hollow, it's the warmer, sparkly snow of dawn. it's the snow that was lonely in the night, but beings to feel less so when the light first begins to break.

AADHWJJDNWKDNWKDUSQJOSHISKWUQNDOBWNSNSJ acey are you in my fucking brain. aroace wxs fanatics really do share a brain cell because HELLO??????/silly

i haven’t said shit about the virtual singers yet but ohmygod your guess is so fucking on point. awawawa. this is so fucking hw core and like it fits so so fucking well into the current thoughts i have for both tsukasa and the main story guhhhh explodes explodes explodes

firstly, might as well do a tiny bit of explanation for hw virtual singers. they both have the same overall personalities as canon wxs, kaito being the responsible older brother figure (representing what tsukasa wants to be like yknow) and miku being very childish and all (i. forget her symbolism w tsukasa. whoops). also given that the sekai and they were created from tsukasa’s feelings, they are well aware that tsukasa isn’t quite okay. even if he isn’t entirely aware of it himself. yknow how he is. anyway. you’re very right about hw virtual singers. their goal is both to ease their pain but also to like. revive the bit of hope they all had, and help them not lose it again. given it’s an online theater group, they of course want to help them do shows and find joy in doing again, because despite it hurting them so badly they still hold so much love for shows and the vs want to help them with it, but more than anything they want them all to find joy in living again. like they’ve all been hurt and vs is there to ease that pain and help them find joy and hope despite being given so much shit and having been hurt. yknow. and i don’t have much to add aside from that cause like. you got them so well. my god

"You ran with your friends" throwing UP. i hate these clowns and their stupid loving friendship and love and care they have for each other because who else understood them like they did each other who else did they have aside from each other because who else will drag them back up and cling to hope with them like they do for each other. they’re so. sobs.

"He will be alright now, 'cause there's no winter that isn't followed by spring" YES. YES INDEED. they’re all gonna be okay. they’re gonna be okay. cries.

tsukasa side note:

""I told a lie to my mom", a boy began to cry. I am made to be all white so that I can take away the darkness in his heart" -> also like you said TBIS IS TSUKASA AT HIS CORE and he’s exactly the same in hw. he wants to be that big brother his siblings can look up to he wants to make them proud and he especially doesn’t want to worry anyone Ever and saki and toya know something might be wrong but he won’t tell her (but to be fair. he hasn’t exactly admitted it to himself either) bc he’s tsukasa tenma!! he’s okay!!! he has to be okay!! he’s going to be a star!! and what kind of star would let a lot a few setbacks get him down!! so there’s no need for anyone to worry!! cause he’s a-okay!! (<- lying. to himself as well.) honestly at this rate i’m not even gonna need to do the tsukasa ramble since i’m just rambling about him in asks when i can /lh

[handyowlet]

I’ve seen a lot of discourse lately about the newer parts of this (and other) fandoms. Some of it is just calling out people for bad behavior, but some of it seems downright hostile to people just for being new, and that seems unfair to me. Anyone who is being a dick to others should ABSOLUTELY be dragged for that, whether they’ve been around for 6 months or 6 years. Common decency should be the baseline.

But we can’t control when we became aware of a fandom, or when a new world was opened up to us. And trying to lock people out, devalue their opinions, or refuse to engage with them at all simply because you were here first is just mean.

For example, I was obsessed with My Little Pony back when I watched The Glass Princess (1986) on VHS multiple times a day. But it’s been a long time since then, and while Friendship is Magic is not the same, I don’t begrudge anyone loving it and I don’t think I would be a more important fan or that my opinions would be more valid just because cause I loved it before a newer fan did, especially because I am (probably much) older than a lot of those fans. I only got there first because I was born first and my mom bought that tape. This isn’t exactly the same as some of you because I’m not into MLP any more, but my daughter’s starting to love it, and I’m not going to keep her from watching the new stuff just because it isn’t the old stuff.

I was only 5 when GO was published, so of course there are people who read it and fell in love with it before I did, because I was a child and didn’t know it existed. I didn’t know about a lot of things- I didn’t know anything about Star Wars, Star Trek, LOTR, etc. until college because my parents didn’t let me. I only learned about Rocky Horror, Eddie Izzard, RENT, Queer as Folk, etc. because of the people I met in Creative Writing and drama club in high school, because they had been given access to those things and shared them with me. Drag Race was several years old before someone introduced me to that.

I am relatively new to this fandom, even though I did read the book many years before the show came out. I didn’t even know there was going to be a show until suddenly there was, and I loved S1, but circumstances in my life kept me from becoming obsessed. I also had no idea S2 was coming until right before it came out, and by then I was in a place where the brain rot was able to take hold. I thought Tumblr was like Tindr until around then as well, and I had no idea AO3 even existed. No one else I known IRL knows what these things are either, except for what I’ve told them. I don’t think my participation in this fandom should be any less valid just because I didn’t have access to it before now.

I have dived into this fandom headfirst and unabashedly. I still don’t understand all of how Tumblr and AO3 work, but now that I’m here, I participate as much as I can (sometimes I don’t respond to those tagging posts because I haven’t figured it out yet). I post on Tumblr when I think I have something to say, and try to boost others who say things I think might enrich someone else’s life too. I devour fanfic on a daily basis, leaving kudos and comments and recommending anything I’ve liked to anyone who will listen because I want to support the amazing artists in this community and spread the happiness they’ve brought to me. I try to engage with anyone who engages with me, and I’d like to think I’ve been respectful to you all (but I know I can be blunt too, so if ever I am a twat waffle, feel free to drag my ass for that).

I guess my bottom line is, while I’ve mostly felt very safe, loved, and accepted jn this fandom, the anti-newbie discourse is disheartening. I will absolutely join you in blasting anyone who chooses to be an asshole, but I’m never going to support the unnecessary gatekeeping. I don’t think Aziraphale, Crowley, Michael, David, Terry, or Neil would either.

Thank you to all of you who have shown love and acceptance to me. I’ll strive to return it and pay it forward to every chance I get.

[love-triangles-au]

bill is giving bottom energy and i hope i am right

Oh, you're right, alright :)

Well, kinda. It's complicated. In this essay, I will

(Gonna mainly use the terms "top" and "bottom" more as surrogates for "dom" and "sub" here as that's kinda what I assume anon means; but powerbottom Bill is extremely real too)

If you asked him he'd tell you that he's always in charge, really, no matter what it may look like. That was his thing before he met Venuz -- no issues bottoming as long as he knows he's ultimately the dominant partner who holds the power. He'd play the subbiest sub to ever sub if it was for the sake of manipulating somebody.

However, with the acquisition of his mortal body, he'd gotten a lot more...well, sensitive. When he was a being of pure energy he could fine-tune everything he felt, make his body react exactly how he wanted it to, but now? No control!

That's frankly part of what first drew him to Venuz in the beginning -- very mortal urges. He hadn't felt pure, physical attraction in a very long while, had turned those instincts off and only had sex when he wanted to, the same way one would decide "y'know, I think I'll play Wii Sports today". Arousal used to be a choice for him, a fun game like anything else, and now it wasn't.

Sure, Venuz wasn't of the same species, but he was close enough to trick his biology! Flatlanders* are very good at making out nuances in geometry the same way we are with faces, and one of the most attractive things to them is symmetry. Well, Venuz was symmetrical in a way only a god could be. His color was even and clean, his eye bright, his limbs strong and muscular...a very attractive triangle by Flatland standards.

Of course there was strategy to it, seduction was his best bet in getting what he wanted, and if you asked Bill that is what he would tell you -- it was all part of the plan.

With that being said, he was fully aware of the power of sex -- it was what he was planning to take advantage of, after all -- but he'd failed to recognize that it was something he might be susceptible to, as well, now that he was a mortal. And really, at first, he didn't even entirely recognize it happening, both from a lack of experience and his advanced abilities of cognitive dissonance. So, he was taken quite off-guard by just how much a simple look from the Gun God could get those long-dormant gears turning on overdrive.

As a result, their first time wasn't nearly as...calculated or dignified as he had hoped. Frankly, the second Venuz touched him he couldn't really think anymore, and he enjoyed his place on the bottom a little more than he was happy with.

Bill had gotten arguably just as much out of the act as Venuz had, and that was NOT the plan. Thankfully, he could lie to himself enough about it to where it wasn't a problem. The way Bill's gaze would trace those perfectly sixty degree angles? It was part of the plan, Venuz liked it! The way his whole body would quiver when Venuz would brush his fingers along his edges? Method acting, he was just too convincing! The way he'd drag his sharp little claws down Venuz's back in the throes of passion, leaving stinging red lines in their wake? Well, uh...Venuz didn't seem to mind, so...sure, that's probably strategy.

As things went on, however, and Bill became more comfortable with Venuz, more willing to be vulnerable, he started to mind less and less about it. Bill loves sensory overload, that's basically his whole personality, and inevitably that meant his mortal body being reduced to a trembling, boneless mass on the bed by the end of the night. So, really, being the bottom and letting Venuz take control is very enjoyable for him when he's able to get over himself.

With that being said, it's something very hard for him to admit when he's got such a massive ego. Sometimes it can call the shots beforehand and demand a role reversal, but Venuz is very willing to be beneath his sexy demon boyfriend, so it all works out either way.

Frankly, though, I'd say you're right, anon -- he is more suited to a bottom. Not only for the reasons above, but also for the much sappier reason that he feels comfort in knowing his lover is strong, maybe even stronger than him. He's always anxious about losing Venuz, so anything that can reassure him that the Gun God is this all-powerful, larger-than-life deity fulfills something very deep within him, even when it's in such a lewd setting.

But, TL;DR, he's a switch who thinks he's a dom, in denial of his submissive side. But, Venuz'll help him come to terms with it, don't you worry :)

*Note that Flatland is meant as a placeholder for Bill's home dimension; it's not exactly Flatland

~ Mod Emily 🦇

[plushmayhem]

Progress talk thread

I like to take a lot of backups as I draw so we I can show off my widdle Lilly wips!! I'm drawing again that means I get to talk about drawing again yahoo

Lately when starting a drawing I've been trying to block out very rough thumbnails as seen above! I usually just start drawing like, the head, and trying to then figure out a body under neath and line by line it all ends up pretty similar to my past stuff because it's just not planned out! I don't know where the road is taking me!

So by starting out and trying to throw together the general pose with just a blown up light brush I'm coming up with much more interesting piece! I can figure out the general shape of the entire piece and then start working on top. No making a shoulder then drawing the hand over it and then erasing the shoulder and getting frustrated because it just doesn't look connected right because I didn't plan it out… where does this drawing end? where's the limits?? where am I going?? So my current workflow involves

Make the dimensions of the piece roughly (just throw a coloured rectangle down) -> very roughly block out the shape of the body within it

This also has the benefit of inspiring me to fill in the blanks with a pose I didn't initially expect! The body is reversed from my initial vague idea because seeing the blobs made me go OH IT'D BE COOL IF I DID IT WITH THE BODY FACING THIS DIRECTION ACTUALLY LET'S MAKE THAT WORK!! If you look at the initial you can kinda see it looks more like she's looking down at you with the raised arm being the one facing you.

Anyways after doing my personal Holiday pic the other day, I was like, it would be cool to do a small run of postcards to send to people yahoo!! I checked the sizes of postcards and none were even close! They all had like an extra inch on of extra space on the bottom whoops! I free style my rectangle sizes when planning an illustration and I guess they're closer to square than the ideal rectangle! Whoops!

So for this one after getting the initial sketch down I thought, hey how close is this to 5x7? AND LO AND BEHOLD IT WAS THE SAME ISSUE!!! So I took filling out the extra space as a challenge. I'm trying to be more dynamic with my art after all!

I spent time adjusting the piece in sai2 using the transform tool with it's perspective skewing on. I wiggled and rotated and pushed n pulled and you get what you see above. A much more dynamic piece filling out the canvas!

The thing that took the most time in this phase was getting the skirt to a shape I found acceptable.

Up next was moving towards making it a finished piece!

Thick lineart is something I've been deciding if I want to stick with or not but honestly it's my natural state! I love thick lineart!! I grew up on manga I wanna see some black lines!!! In the future I wanna go back to colouring lineart as well but for now I believe I need to lean into my natural tendencies for thick lines!

I threw down my lineart to a mostly acceptable state, and brainstormed ways to fill the empty space surrounding Lilly. I found there was just a lot of empty space in the bottom left and I didn't really solve that in the final, but that's ok. It's something I'm trying to be aware of as I actually attempt illustrations. I want to finish pieces right now, I'm not in a place where I can let perfectionism slow me down.

Currently my layers are (face) and (lineart) I throw down some flat colours, a light layer above and for once I tried a shade layer too! It might of been a multiply layer. It was probably was. Anyways this is what I was happy with before moving forward with refining it. I'm currently going with more focus on like, backlighting/rimlighting because it's easier to make it work with my no context existing in da void illustrations haha.

To refine it, right now, I'm playing around with mainly using one layer. So I slammed together my layers other than the face (I made that mistake with my previous piece and that's how we ended up with the eyebrow incident. I wasn't going to put myself in a place where I had to erase an eyebrow again) and started sculpting!

I think sculpting is the best way to describe it, really. It's a lot of slamming down chunky lines, and since the lineart is on the same layer, I'm constantly pushing colours out and finding the ideal shape of both it and the lineart. It helps me push my shapes even farther and let the colours take priority when they need to. Instead of them being separate things I worry about they're all just one big piece!

I was a bit worried about merging the plaid pattern down as well, but I did my best to get the skirt in a place I wasn't going to adjust much after the merge. That was the biggest priority of the previous step really.

It's a lot of fun! I recommend people try it! Try sculpting your lineart a bit!

I added the necklace accessory after since I knew trying to fit it in earlier would also be a pain in the ass haha. I'm not a one layer purist! I'm just having fun!

The background, I went in with no idea for a bg. So this is what we get. I think it works fine for this piece, it's a vtuber attacking you with big fluffy bear claws with no context other than that they are a bear and they're going to fucking get you. Red fits, Lilly has a very orange/red hued design and it's an aggressive attack so the mood works. I could of even gone harder and made it look a bit more splattery but I wasn't sure if I was going to fill up the bottom left space or not.

Looking back maybe I could fit in her name on a cool blood splatter there but I am not a graphic design major my brain is growing slowly in this department thank you

Also fluffy claw gloves usually have much less defined fingers but I couldn't make mitts look good with my initial plans so I stuck with my initial idea!!! Thank u.

Anyways follow Lilly [Twitch]

[honeylikesyanderes]

I love the whole concept of a Yandere dating app, and I am in love with it already 💕

Could I get facts of both Avanti and Drew?

ofc bbg

i got you

18+ mdni

hope you enjoy :)

------------------------------------------------------

you swiped right on avanti!

avanti - cat demon

age: looks 22

birthday: feb 14th

physical attributes:

5'10

ash gray hair

big green eyes

pale skin

slender frame

he's a pretty petite person

usually has cute stickers on his face and arms

pierced ears

has a lip piercing but rarely wears it

freckles!!

has perfect teeth

personality traits

is literally a ball of sunshine

always excited, always ready to do something

is perpetually always on an energy drink

avanti genuinely has such a cute personality

a true golden retriever boy

he's also a big pervert.

the biggest pervert of all my yandere ocs tbh

will not hesitate to say anything sexual, regardless of the time and place

are they aware that they are a yandere? does it bother them?

avanti is aware. he's a demon and yandere love is very very normal to their culture so it doesn't really bother him.

yandere! avanti:

yandere type: stalker/clingy

you get no personal space.

he can and will follow you everywhere

and he's a demon so he can teleport

literally knows everything about you

like every single thing

from your favourite food to what shows you like to the secret vibe you keep in your bottom drawer in between your 2 favourite pairs of socks.

knows all your friends and everything about them too

you cant lie to him about anything

he's literally a lie detector in human form

he also gets extremely whiney when you try to go out or anywhere without him

he's a super sweet yandere tho

will 100% treat you like royalty and try his best to please you

he can be a bit sensitive tho

avanti fun facts

his job is as a twitch streamer and youtuber

he's well liked because of his good energy and personality

avanti is actually an introvert and doesn't really like to go out much

he used to have a bit of anxiety interacting with humans but he overcame it by learning to be flirty and cutesy

his tail is really long and he's able to use it to hold stuff

he's also related to atlas and they do go out together for ''drinks'' often

you swiped right on drew!

drew - grim reaper/shinigami

age: looks 30

birthday: august 2nd

physical attributes:

6'7

shoulder length pale black hair

golden eyes

pale skin

broad shoulders.

slim yet very muscular build

scar on his right eye

only one pierced ear

has a cross tattoo that runs from his neck to his v line

personality traits

has the biggest dad energy

is honestly so chill amd cool headed

is pretty flirty and friendly

but not as flirty as avanti

a nonchalant bro tbh

the only time you'd ever see him not being chill is when he's working

when he's at work, drew's personality does a 180

he's cold, cruel and calculating

will risk and do anything to get the job done

he can be extremely emotionless when it comes to getting what he wants

are they aware that they are a yandere? does it bother them?

drew is aware, but he's doesn't believe that being a yandere is a bad thing. he actually thinks non-yanderes dont take love seriously enough.

yandere! drew:

yandere type: obsessive/possessive

drew is an older yandere so he has a lot od experience and he's probably the best yandere to handle a darling.

drew is similar to icarus, in which he'll give his darling their space

but drew can be very very demanding.

if he asks darling to do something, he'd prefer if you do it as soon as he says it

cause he claims ''its for your own good''

and he has a tendency to nag if you misbehave

i mean you should expect it cause he literally talks for a living 😭

drew is also extremely observant so ypu basically cant lie to him

and he can tell when your vibe/behaviour is off

he isnt the touchiest yandere and prefers to not be touched

he might touch darling occasionally throughout the day but he's not super touchy

he likes to talk to darling a lot and likes to geat about their day

he can also turn invisible and doesn't mind using that to follow/stalk darling

loves to kiss the top of darling's head

can and will use his height and build to intimidate love rivals and even darling if necessary.

drew fun facts

his day job is as a lawyer

his actual job is as a grim reaper

drew is the head of all the grim reapers in the region

has a tendency to work from home and will only go into work like once a week

has a fuck ton of folders in his home office

has a little black book that contains the names of people he's reaped over the years

drew is over a thousand years old and he remembers every life he's ever lived.

[wreckingtickles]

Someone has already given me a bunch of excellent ideas (won't say who because they DMed me), and I'm eagerly awating more! I was actually thinking that Mx Tech (Kiri's tickler) might crowdsource ways to tickle him. As in, making that ask canon lol

Since I'm not going to use it, below is the intro + outline that I'd prepared. NSFW, of course.

Bzzt.

The moment Kirishima became aware of his body again was the same moment the visor in front of his eyes lit up, so all he could see was a flat, infinite expanse of computerized dark green, with a thin, white line running horizontally through the middle.

He reflexively went to remove the goggles, but his arms just wouldn’t lower – lower? Yes. He was upright, and he could feel that his arms, raised above his head, were fully encased in some padded contraption from just under his elbow all the way to his balled-up fists. The same went for his legs, similarly trapped from hallway down his thighs to his ankles, although his knees were bent 90° and he could tell his feet weren’t similarly encased.

“Hello, Red,” buzzed a distorted voice in his headphones, and the white line on his screen waved in tune with it. “I know you like a challenge. And I know you like tickling. You’ll get both.”

“Who are you?” asked Kirishima, sounding both alarmed and threatening. “Wait, am I naked?”

“You are,” vibrated the voice. “And you may call me Mx Tech. But it won’t matter. You won’t see me. I won’t bother you.”

“Then what…”

“I won’t bother you,” repeated the voice with a barely more pronounced inflection. “I’ll leave you to my machine. It’s efficient. Unfeeling. Merciless. It will work you over for the duration of your stay. It won’t pause unless programmed to do so. It won’t stop until the moment I’ve set.”

Kirishima swallowed, but his mouth felt suddenly very dry. “Why are you doing this?”

“I only exist to please. You. I’m just giving you something you want, whether you’ve already realized it or not. Your body, chiseled with effort. Isn’t it time you let someone appreciate it? Use it to reward you?”

“This isn’t…!” started Kirishima before trailing off. Gosh, why was he so tongue-tied? It was embarrassing! Stupid moron, he was screwing it up-- “What about everyone else?”

“They were never there in the first place. I’m just letting you peek behind the curtain.”

What the hell did that meant? Was it all really, well, unreal? If only he wasn’t so stupid, maybe he would--

“I thought long and hard about how I could use your own Quirk against you,” resumed Mx Tech, cutting through his inner monologue.“I suppose it keeping your muscle supple and your skin soft is enough. But I wasn’t satisfied, so I’ve made it a part of the game.”

Number 1 rule when captured by villains: keep them talking. “Game?”

“The machine will pause four times. The timer will stop during these breaks. Each time, the tickling will get worse, and you’ll be able to choose which spot is targeted next by using your Quirk on one of the options that will pop up on your screen. You will have 3 seconds.”

“Why would I choose a spot?” asked Kirishima as he kept subtly testing his restraints. He wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

A few seconds went by without Kirishima receiving any kind of answer; then, something appeared at the bottom of his visor. Was that supposed to be the timer Mx Tech had mentioned? The numbers were completely undecipherable to Kirishima.

“Try to enjoy the process. I’ve paid handsomely for it.”

The last digits of the timer began to tick down, but Kirishima didn’t have the chance to notice because at that very same moment,

---(yep it cut off there)---

Starts with ribs so it’s already incredibly hard to resist.

Kirishima likes being tickled but isn’t turned on by it, he’s turned on from seeing others get tickled.

1st: abs or waist (he imagines the hands scribbling at his V-line and nopes out)

Mx Tech comments Kiri isn’t hard yet, wonders if he’s fighting the urge and why

2nd: pecs or sides

Mx tech wonders if the tickling is too light for Kirishima to be turned on

3rd: feet or thighs, since he reflexively hardens the worse option

Mx Tech says he’s surprised that Kirishima’s arousal is so lacking – he’s responding to his pecs being played with, but no specific reaction to tickling, but it couldn’t be a matter of intensity – maybe it’s the fact that it’s a non-human tickler, so he projects it so it’s Deku tickling his thighs, Denki at his abs,

4th: pits or groin (balls and dick): he takes too long (pits are too bad and groin is too personal, but he also kind of wants to shoot), so both apply.

When he’s about to cum, the monitor shows him windows with what’s happening to everyone else:

A naked Inasa cackling while Ojiro runs his tail up and down his huge bare soles and licks his big toes while a fuzzy appendage strokes his cock.

A desperate Shindo, two huge hands vibrating around his cock while an appendage vibrates in his bellybutton, and several hands scratch at his abs; his eyes cross and a white fluid trickles down the hands clasped around his dick.

Todoroki?

Pastry brushes dancing in Deku’s buttcrack and on his taint, balls, dick, and feet, as he’s obviously about to cum.

A dozen of metal claws on a pleading, hysterical Denki’s abs, crackling with electricity just like his nipples, a boner in his underwear.

Himself, the hardened fingers of his right hand scratching at Bakugo’s ribs while the left jerks him off.

He cums and it gets worse but reasons he only has to endure until the countdown reaches 0, it’s not much longer…

When the countdown hits zero, the tickling doesn’t stop: the full-body sequence is initiated. After all, Mx Tech had never told him it would stop.

[powertripblog]

Comics, USA Style

Did you know that the United States of America doesn't really have any interest in standardization? You probably did, but sometimes it smacks you in a really annoying way.

Case in point, I have been doing research into comic page sizes to get an idea of what I should follow for Powertrip once I am properly drawing the comic. This might seem like a pretty pointless thing to do for a webcomic, and it really is in the digital realm. However, in the very unlikely circumstance that this comic ends up both popular, and with a significant demand to be printed out physically for people, doing this comic page work in advance could potentially save me hundreds of hours in having to manually fix every page to be printable. So it's not a massive deal technically, but just a concern worth noting if you are ever getting into drawing comics for no one on the internet.

Anyways, the first place I started was simply by looking up "US Comic Page Size". I was aware going into this that US comics are not printed at the same size that other regions are. I want my comic to be as close as possible to something you'd find on a shelf in a comic book store in format, so I need to match them. The weird thing is though, when I was looking up comic page sizes, there was NO consistency. Every single site and template I found had slightly differing measurements. It wasn't even something dumb like a rounding error, these sites all just fundamentally disagreed with each other on the exact size of a comic page. It didn't help that they were giving the size of a PRINTED comic page, which as I found out is not the same as what artists work with when drawing a comic. It's like some really stupid version of House Of Leaves about a comic page that measures bigger on the inside than the outside or something.

So here is the actual deal. When drawing a US comic page, artists will generally start out with an 11 inch by 17 inch piece of paper. In the physical realm they use a heavy, high quality piece of paper called a Bristol Board. As I mentioned before this size is not what you will see on an actual printed comic page. When going to print, the page size is actually quite a bit smaller, roughly around 6 inches by 10 inches (that is rounded up by the way the actual size has like 4 decimals on every number).

Now the second thing to note is how the paper will be cut when going to print. Even though the comic page is reduced in size, there are further cuts made to the paper before it prints. There are three areas on a comic page where this cutting business occurs, those being the Safe Area, the Trim Line, and the Bleed Line. The Safe Area makes up the largest part of the page, and is where most of your art will go. This area will never be cut out by a printer. The Trim Line is where the printer will generally trim your comic. Something to note is that different printers can vary in how they cut this area slightly, so the Trim Line is not an exact point, but a small area instead. Finally, the Bleed Line is where the page WILL be cut off. This area exists for the times you draw full page art. If your art needs to go to the end of the page, you will want to draw it all the way up to the end of the Bleed Line. The Bleed Line is also a small area that extends to the edge of the page, but the distinction from the Trim Line is important.

So with all this knowledge in mind now, we know what we need for our comic. The only thing left is the measurements themselves. Remember this is a US comic, so that means we get to deal with Imperial measurements! So, starting from the edges of the page, the Bleed Line will be 1/2 inch on the sides, and 13/16th inch on the top and bottom (like I said, Imperial). The Trim Line will be 5/8th inch on the sides, and 1 inch on the top and bottom. Finally, the Safe Area begins at 1 inch on the sides, and 1 and 3/8th inch on the top and bottom.

Cool, we got our measurements all measured. The only thing left to mention is that if you are wanting to print out a comic page ever, check your DPI. This is a big deal, and CANNOT BE CHANGED once you start drawing a page for the first time. DPI stands for Dots Per Inch, as in how many dots a printer will spend in ink on every inch of your drawing. 72 DPI tends to be the default in most art programs, and while this is fine for online publishing printing it out is going to leave your comic looking like soup. 300 DPI is the minimum recommended for printing, and most printing companies consider 600 DPI to be the requirement for a high-quality print. I personally am choosing to work in 600 DPI, but depending on how much hard drive space you have this may not be realistic for you to do. Large DPI images will make for large file sizes, and while I am lucky to have a fat 8 TB hard drive, some may not even have 1 TB to work with.

Basically, the moral of the story for all of this is to do your own research. Looking into all this comic page stuff taught me quite a bit about the needs and expectations of physical releases, and will help to standardize my own comic pages going forward.

Oh right, before I forget. The reason I have kept mentioning US Comic sizes is because different regions of the world tend to use different sizes. Europe uses the standard A4 paper for their comics. Manga in Japan are also a different size. I didn't do research into these different sized papers because they weren't relevant to what I am looking for, but if you are in these regions or trying to imitate their comics then it would definitely help you out to look into it!

Anyways, thanks for reading all of this technical, boring rambling. I will go back to more vague concept art for my comic Powertrip after this post now.

[suzy-queued]

Hi deena! I LOVE your art, it’s so fun and interesting and I really enjoy seeing all the different styles you’re able to do.

What’s your opinion on AI art? I know there’s a lot of conflicting opinions in and out of the art world and was curious to know how you feel about it.

Aw, man, this is such a hot button issue. My husband and I discuss it almost every day. He and I are both creative professionals. He is an advocate for AI, and I am on the fence. I absolutely in no way support someone using AI art and passing it off as something they created themselves (my hubby doesn't either). If you take two minutes to type a prompt into a field and then slap your signature on the generated and sell it, there's a special place for you in the afterlife. I also hate that AI generators take art samples from hardworking artists. I'm glad that people are inventing ways for artists to mask their work so that AI bots can't scan them. But the digital world needs to get more proactive about their transparency. If an artist opts in to allow their work to be scanned, that's one thing. If AI uses everything I create without my consent, that's piracy and it hurts my bottom line. However, I do support people who use AI tools to assist them in creating their art. For example, if I need to know how a shadow might fall across a man's body, I can use an online 3D modeling generator to put a figure in a pose and light it the way I want. I use Photoshop to make mockups of every picture I do, assembling stock photos and pics of characters. I sometimes use AI when I'm brainstorming, like I might say, "show me some funny haunted houses" in order to get my gears turning.

Lots of people use digital tools to create, and the piece becomes a hybrid of the computer and their own hand. I am cool with that, because the artist is actively creating something that didn't exist before, and they're putting their own time and imagination into it. It's an ongoing struggle that we're just on the verge of understanding. And it's so EASY, which makes it a challenge to fight. My hope is for greater awareness across the board, so that consumers, purchasers, and artists can all be better informed and empowered to use AI in a way that isn't hurting creators.

[kendrixtermina]

(a quick and tepid shower)

I think I’ve finally realized the difference between him and me.

I’m a thing of grimes, and he,

he seems like he would smell of antiseptic -

he knows to do it in a hot way, a desirable way,

as an experience that people seek out,

but that doesn’t change that at the end of things,

he’s going to find that it’s time to cleanse everything,

an wipe it down amid rubber glove sounds

to forget my love, as many others before.

For the most part he takes responsibility for his own,

but he kind of does blame me a little bit,

so he wants to be cleansed of me. And he wants to be clean.

Though the cleansers wouldn’t take him,

deep down he’s too self-aware in their craft,

but he knows, because of this, to pass well enough on surface level

and never touch beneath.

Not so me:

I am so dirty on the inside.

And sometimes I even want you to hear about it.

But I cannot be as the ones where the filth is the point:

They coquette, they peacock: Behold now my filth, go and be shocked

They’ll sweep up your tears of rage into a mug and drink it for breakfast

I do not have such faith into the quality of my filth

It exists mostly in service to convince you that you don’t want to look further in,

both hoping and not hoping that

you will be stopping of your own accord

before I have to make you

And in this, he and I ultimately prove more same than different.

What he veils with suspicion,

that I would obscure with flourish.

But none of that changes that we both know very well that there’s nothing inside.

A see-through, threadbare being.

Many beings are afraid of having nothing inside, and in that fear,

they spend their life close to the grindstone,

dispersed into love and trees and fancy omelets

and all things ghibli that might fool you into thinking life is worth living,

and so they never found out, and barely ever noticed

long enough to die blissfully in the embrace of their family,

perhaps enviable to those who claim to pierce through Maya

But I’ve always been of the persuation of those cats killed by curiosity.

Not that I would fancy myself a modern prometheus.

Nothing was learned from me.

But I don’t fear that there is nothing: I know it to be truth,

I build on it every day.

It really is the place that I started from, though I have not always known this.

The bottom line is, the grand mass of all things isn’t so pretty on the inside,

never quite what was promised once you have stripped the veneer.

And thus, the only hope I’d entertain is that you’ll never see what’s inside me

I could show it to him, maybe,

knowing that he cleanses his void with the same zeal that I indulge mine’s pullulation.

[travlersjoy444]

Teatime (Part 12)

 TOH Hunter/Golden Guard x reader

 Masks and Bets part twelve. The links to the other parts are now at the bottom of the page, as well as an extremely important author's note regarding the fate of this story.

*******

  I placed the final lantern squash on the new mantelpiece and grinned.

  “Ta-da! Now we’re ready for Eerie Season!”

  Lilith clapped politely. “It looks lovely, (Y/N)!”

  I nodded. “I think I’m gonna force Luz to wear a costume…although, actually, she seems like she’d be pretty receptive. Hunter on the other hand….” My voice trailed off, and I cringed. “Er…Mum, when do you think we can save Hunter?” I said softly.

  She sighed, looking tired. “I don’t know. I wish I had a solid answer, but….I don’t. Let’s take one step at a time, right?”

  I nodded dejectedly.

  She was right, of course, logically speaking. We had finally finished unpacking all our stuff as we moved into the Bryony’s old house- Lilith had gone all out Deadwardian style when it came to the interior design, and it looked like a bona fide historical home. I quite liked it- it lended itself quite nicely to the haunted mansion vibes I was aiming for in my Eerie Season decorations.

  But anyways. I had been bugging her about saving Hunter, but she was right- we had no means of it. Heck, Hunter didn’t realize it, but his scroll literally only worked for people within the coven! (I only discovered this because I borrowed it once to text Emira.)

  I was broken from my thoughts when my scroll rang.

  “Heya Willo-Wisp.” I said, answering the call.

  “Hi (Y/N)! I know you only attend Hexside for the first half of the week, but do you want to come to the club fair?”

  Hell no. “Sorry Willow, no-can-do. I’ll be busy…having…cholera…….so.” I lied. Mum stared at me as I spoke, stifling laughter.

  “...What’s cholera?” Willow responded.

  “An…illness. I’ll be fine though, see ya later-”

  “Er, okay, see you.” Willow hung up.

  “What was that?” Lilith snorted.

  “Willow invited me to the club fair. I really don’t want to be in a club right now though….y’know, whatwith how behind I am in my homework.....”

  Mum raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you ahead of everyone? I’m pretty sure I taught you mainly adult level spells.”

  I slouched. She’d caught me. “Yeah….I don’t know. I guess it feels like I’m behind in experience….I don’t even have a palisman anymore.”

  Lilith nodded thoughtfully. “I don’t really know how to help you with your social issues other than listening to you vent, but….I might be able to get you some palistrome wood. Let me just call Dad and Edalyn…” 

*******

  “Hey kid!” Said Eda, throwing the door open. “You’ve carved one of these before, right?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “Thank you for the supplies, guys!”

  “We’re happy to help, (Y/N)!” Smiled Dell Clawthorne. 

  “What do you think you’re going ro carve?” Lilith grinned.

  “Er…I don’t know…my last palisman was a bat, but….y’know….” I swallowed. “So uh….maybe something else this time.”

  “Well…you come up with a few sketches, and I’ll set everything up, okay?” Mum smiled, and we set to work.

*******

  I added the final carving. It wasn’t perfect, but Eda and Dell gave me some tips….it was the best I was gonna get, so I was pleased with it. Slowly but surely, the lines on the model began to glow as my new palisman came to life. 

  She slowly lifted her wings and raised her head, chirping softly.

  “Hi!” I whispered, watching as the wood transformed into shiny black feathers. She flapped her wings and lifted off the coffee table, landing on my outstretched hand.

  I was half-aware of Eda high-fiving Lilith behind my back, but I focused on the bird. 

  “What’s your name?” I asked softly.

  She chirped, hopping off my hand to land on the calendar. She tapped one of the days.

  “Er…Fourteen?” I said hesitantly.

  She shook her head, tapping again.

  “...Thursday?”

  She nodded happily, landing on my shoulder- which she barely fit on, considering how large she was. I had carved the raven to scale.

  “Hi Thursday, welcome to the family!” Said Eda, grinning as Owlbert flew next to her. The two birds chirped, dialoguing about something I couldn’t quite understand yet. 

  Suddenly my scroll dinged. I checked the message…it was from Darius.

  Darius: Hey Hotshot, I know you’re not getting involved in the Coven anymore, but you might wanna check this out. The Little Prince has decided to kidnap some of your friends…it’s okay, I’ll fix it, but you might wanna come help nonetheless.

  “Er…Lilith?” I mumbled, showing her the message.

  She sighed. “A mission, (Y/N)?”

  I faltered. “I mean, I don’t have to go, I can just stay here if you want-”

  She shook her head. “No, go on. Maybe use this as an opportunity to get to know your palisman.”

  I grinned, hugging her. “Thanks Lilith! I’ll stay safe, I promise- Hey Thursday, you ready for your first mission?”

  The raven nodded firmly, transforming into a staff. 

  “Thanks so much you guys!” I waved, stepping out of the house.

  I shut the door and hopped onto my new staff.

  You: Where is he?

  Darius: Hexside

  You: I’m on my way

  *******

  I landed on the bleachers by the grudgeby court as silently as I could muster. The place was indeed overrun by coven scouts, and Hunter was at the side of it all smiling cheerily.

  …Oh. Knowing Hunter, he probably thought he was helping somehow….what an idiot. 

  And yet despite the context, I found myself smiling at the sight of him. I shook it off though- now was not the time for a reunion. I wasn’t strong enough to fight off all these scouts plus Hunter, so I decided to follow them in hopes of confronting him at the holding cell…and hopefully reassuring Willow and Gus that Darius was trustworthy.

  Cool. I’ve got a plan. Lovely.

  I flew after the caravan, keeping my distance and hiding behind clouds as much as I could- and before I could even manage to prepare a speech for Hunter, we had reached the Bonesborogh branch of the Emperor’s Coven.

  I swallowed, landing near a bush as the scouts nudged Willow, Gus, Scarah, and Viney into the building.

  “We’ve got this, right Thursday?” I whispered. She gave a short chirp and a half-nod in response.

  “Cool cool.” I swallowed again, pulling up the hood to my cloak. I climbed out of the bushes, when-

  “(Y/N)?!”

  Shit!

  “Hey Steve…” I mumbled.

  “Man, I haven’t seen you since Lilith’s party! How’ve you been, kid?” He said cheerily, ruffling my hair. 

  I felt a smile tugging my lips. “Good. I’ve been pretty good. How ‘bout you? What’s with the ice pack?”

  He shrugged. “One of the kids punched me. It was fair though- we were kidnapping her, y’know? I deserved it, dude.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, you kinda did. You should quit the Coven and work at the museum with me and Lulu!”

  He sighed. “I’m working on it, don’t worry.”

  “I have complete faith in you, mate.” I said firmly, patting him on the shoulder. “Welp, I’m off to go fight with my friend and save some kids. Talk to ya later, yeah?”

  “Thanks (Y/N).” He shook his head. “I’d better see you at my official ‘You quit your job’ party, yeah?”

  “Heck yeah!” I agreed enthusiastically. “I’ll even invite Lilith!”

  Waving good-bye to Steve, I refocused on getting to Hunter. 

  Okay. Darius will be here in…about two minutes. Cool. 

  I took a deep breath and approached the station door, knocking once.

  It swung open…

  “Hey.” Said a familiar voice.“I’m a little busy right now, okay, citizen?”

  Hunter shut the door.

  “He….He didn’t recognize me?” 

  Terra Snapdragon. 

  Well…my life just got a little more complicated. Fantastic.

*******

Author's note:

So uh. 

It's been a while since I started writing this, at least for me- I think it began in March? Um.

Well...I've had a few discoveries since March. For one, I'm not a girl. 

For another, I...I don't actually like boys romantically.

Now, this adds a couple obvious complications to my writing of this story, which I will address shortly- but first, (and this is admittedly kinda silly) I wanted to re-introduce myself to you guys.

Hi, I'm Casper. I'm a teenage boy who is only attracted to girls. (I'm still on the aro spectrum, but to avoid too many specifications, I'll just say that I'm not really one for labels and leave it at that.)

"So Caz," you say, "Why did you write this if you don't romantically like boys?"

And to that I say- "I don't owe you an explanation, bud- But for the sake of being read correctly, I'll just put it bluntly. ...Yeah no it was just gender envy. I've pretty much mistook envy for attraction my whole life."

"Yeesh Casper. You are a dense, dense boy- even more then (Y/N) and Hunter were at the start of this book."

Ouch. Yet so accurate.

And now onto the interesting part: The fate of this book.

I'm just gonna get the big question out of the way- this book is NOT discontinued. I may have realized that I'd rather be Hunter than kiss Hunter, but dude, I've come so far! I'm not giving it up for something as silly and trivial as having my life turned semi-upside down- Nah, I've got too many schemes and plans to just stop writing! You'll keep getting updates of your-not-at-all-scheduled dose of 'Casper writing about a boy he doesn't have a crush on', I promise.

"Erm...that's real nice, mate," You say awkwardly, "But literally why are you telling me this?"

Well well well well well WELL WELL WELL....Because of two primary reasons. 

Firstly, I want your help with this. I don't know what you guys want, romance speaking. Obviously I've committed to making it at least semi romantic- perhaps not in an all out romance, but more of a Jesse and Lake from Infinity Train situation? 

(Unrelated, but message me if you wanna dress up as the Lake to my Jesse this Halloween. I freaking love their dynamic and look kinda like Jesse, so.)

(I'm kidding about that- unless you DO wanna, in which case, be my guest. That'd make my day.)

(This is probably getting confusing for folks who haven't seen Infinity Train. Sucks to suck, I guess)

(Yeesh, you can tell that it's late in my timezone- I'm getting kinda unhinged.)

Anyways. I got a bit sidetracked there, but the point is- tell me what you want romantically from this story! No guarantees they'll end up in it, but I wanna hear from you guys! Share your thoughts! Battle in the comments! Threaten to make a 'voodoo doll Casper' for you to slowly shove needles into whenever the story isn't going your way! Actually, please don't do that last one! 

Now the second reason why I'm posting this is because...well. I risk getting a bit deep here but uh...I guess I'm still typing, so.

I'm posting this because I'm sick of people thinking I like boys.

Everyone including me has been under the impression that I generally like boys for the past fourteen years, and man. I'm getting tired of it. I've been tired of it for while, I think. So I guess I just...wanted you guys to know, let you into my psyche just a little bit. I want to say at long last that I'm a boy who likes girls. 

(Kind of ironic that I'm coming out as straight, huh? I'm still asexual and demiromantic for lack of a better term though, so I'm not like *totally* straight? I dunno, don't overthink it.)

So uh...yeah. Hi, I'm Casper. I'm the author of this book, and I'm also a tallish teenage boy with dark hair and black eyes. I love daydreaming, autumn, and dressing in sweaters while stubbornly ignoring the obnoxious September heat. I'm a somewhat straight dude who blames his apparent femininity on being half Italian and half Chinese, which works out more often then not....

Hi, I'm Casper. It's awesome to finally meet you. It's a pleasure to finally be known.

*******

Taglist:

@vievi

@generousdoodleforillustration

@harlanfalcon

@ronipiamka

@draarnaak

@cloud-9ine

@jinxed-jk

@not-nubno

@hunter-therapy

Links:

Masks and Bets (Part 1)

Masks and Beasts (Part 2)

Masked and Beat (Part 3)

Masked (and Unmasked) On the Seas (Part 4)

Cracks in a Mask (Part 5)

Revelations (Part 6)

Bad Moon Rising (Part 7)

Hey Lilith (Part 8)

Way Home (Part 9)

Back to the Future (Part 10)

Lost Threads (Part 11)

[tuiyla]

on bela: i don't even know how to feel, i'm so conflicted, right, cause in s1 she was my favorite (i couldn't even tell you why, she's not even really the kind of character i usually gravitate towards but smth about her was so charming, i was obsessed with her) and now.. i am just sad. don't get me wrong i still love her sm and i actually appreciate that she's making so many shitty mistakes bc, that's life, and that's part of growing up and learning to become a good person, but GOD i am sad -dan

Oh I feel that, you have every reason to be sad. I was hoping we might have hit rock bottom with Bela already and would start on a positive arc but nope, there was more!

The one reason I'm still... well happy isn't the right word but content with Bela's stuff is because I genuinely believe hers was the best written. Did it hurt, god yeah and she really tested my "support women's wrongs" stance. Girl did soooo many things wrong this season and these last two stunts with the Foxy and Georgia didn't help. But I do feel like the puzzle pieces all fit together and we have been leading up to this. During her last scene at first I thought she'd try and go back to the Catullan, but I suppose wanting to essentially run away is similar, in a sense.

Also in that last scene we saw the self-awareness she's been lacking all season, and that was reassurance that she does feel it, it's just too terrifying to face. And in that not only is Bela's story the most well-written but the most emotionally poignant. It sucks right now because she's in such a bad place and her future up in the air, but I this last scene made me have hope for the future. And, tbh, turned her into a much more interesting ch for me. This is how Bela has really arrived for me, with her broken admission that all she's ever wanted was to be liked and she messed it all up. Like, I just find it satisfying, despite feeling for her, how everything piled up to land her here. I especially appreciated that we acknowledged her 1.8 GPA and general lackluster academics because she more than anyone has been ignoring that and it should matter.

I feel like such an ass for saying her misery is by far the best storyline lmao but it's clear to me that most care was put into Bela's arc. And sure, that arc has been a downfall pretty much all season and those are inherently not fun to watch with chs we like and root for but at least I have something to root for, you know? No other character has made me feel so much for them this season than Bela did in that one scene. That was just so raw, you know? Like damn girl yeah you really have messed up, now let's put you back together. I'm really excited for Bela in season 3; I mean the only way from here is up surely lol.

There was also her throwaway line about being treated worse at the Catullan than she did Georgia and ashkjjs I'm so unwell about that, someone get this girl help.

[priafey]

Gwilin of the Day: "Thinker of Thoughts" Gwilin

Today's Gwilin of the day is brought to you by: MelancholyAndBlithe on ao3!

The Morning After

Published: July 31, 2017

Rated: Teen+

Length: ~1500 words

Featuring: Male OC

Set in: Ivarstead

REVIEW

Right off the bat, I loved that this story had sort of a stream of consciousness thing going on, and that it was being told from Gwilin's perspective! It was super refreshing and engaging.

While Gwilin's admiring the author's OC, Caspian, you get a sense of an intriguing humility that seems central to this particular Gwilin's character. He can't believe this strapping man next to him is the one he shared his first such escapade, a one night stand, with. The general uneasiness he experiences in this story is bred from his not knowing the proper protocol to follow after such an encounter, and that mingles beautifully with the subtle feelings of attachment that you can tell he's just starting to sort out.

However, he's too stuck in his own thoughts to even begin to process the words he exchanges with Caspian after he's awoken. This Gwilin is self-aware, and uniquely so, without coming off as melodramatic, or too aloof, or too shaken. You can follow each of his thoughts in a progression that is at once logical and unexpected; these arrive and depart at just the right pace (and from just the right place) for someone nursing a hangover.

Gwilin lets out quite a few blushes in the meantime, as the author sneaks in glances and caresses that steal your attention like a great screenplay would. It's subtly cinematic, not to mention damned sweet.

Moment that my mind chose to fixate on: When Caspian traces invisible lines over Gwilin's neck. My favorite thing in the world is the nervousness little gestures like those can sow in someone you love. Seeing Gwilin's subsequent all-too-delighted discomfort is just so effervescent for me.

I. Compellingness

I was on sold on this Gwilin from the beginning, and was left hungry for more of his thoughts by the end. 10/10

II. Swagger

Gwilin's swag was definitely not a focal point of this story, but the emotional and circumstantial foundation the author chose to craft the plot from sort of negates the need for this metric. No tally here. __/10

III. Talent

I'd argue Gwilin's talent in this story was more or less keeping a lid on his thoughts. It's almost like he doesn't want his companion to discern something about what he's feeling that he hasn't even discerned yet. Also, there's like three mentions of the soreness of his ass and one of the scratch marks he left on Caspian's back, so there's more than enough evidence here to indicate that this Gwilin is a hell of a power bottom. 9/10

IV. Backstory

Though there's none to speak of, no tally. The story is pretty short, and his backstory really doesn't feel relevant and isn't missed. __/10

V. Pleasure of Reading

I am one to constantly try to decipher all possible meanings in a text while reading through it, which usually means I start over sentences and paragraphs a lot so I can really grasp what's happening. I did not experience that here at all. The author really knows how to keep you "in the moment", a reading rarity for me. I feel the need to dock a couple of points because some of the transitions between sentences could have been better, and the imagery wasn't impactful per se. 8/10

VI. Horniness

Perhaps a bit too understated, though I am loathe to think of how this Gwilin's narrative integrity might have suffered if his horniness had been cranked up (is such a thing possible?). 6/10

Final Tally

My

autistic ass

gives this Gwilin an 8/10!

[jonathankatwhatever]

There are too many places to begin. I want to pick a math one. Oh, I think we said a few days ago that dinosaurs got big in relation to the amount of abstraction injected into them before awareness levels grew. Oh, right, we can tell this as a story because it can lay out as a story. That doesn’t mean the story is THE explanation, but that Observer levels exist where this story is told because that is where this story inverts to and from, which I think we’re trying to say is 1-0-1 in the sense of an Identity Space in which 2T are attached by 1-0Segments to an intervening structure which manifests the potential between them. That enables basic reactions at primitive levels, which we see at higher levels in expressions of disgust, horror, joy, lust, etc. Oh, I see: this is a consequence of 1-0-1 Identity because, if we weren’t clear before, that enables the interior perspective and the exterior perspective, which means these come together at the boundaries of the Things, which means to some underlying tObject or Objects through iObjects. Like how taste in music is meant to drive others away.

The most obscene commercial for a perfume called Splooge just ran by me.

So, the key point is that 2T exist outside this ‘potential between’. Those together make an Identity Space. That is, the 1-0-1 Model forms an Identity Space when the 0 is 1 in 0-1-0. Seem simple, but this idea unifies Ends and 1Segments, and also converts 1Segments into 1-0Segments. You can see that as the 1-0 is now matched to 0-1 so the line together reads a string of 1’s and 0’s. That means we’ve finally generated binary properly: it counts Identity Spaces as 1-0Segments, which is why sits at the ‘bottom’ of all counting.

I only recently have accepted that ideas like the above are rigorous. This is rigorous because we have constructed a dimensional model, which maybe we should call DM, in which these 1’s and 0’s stand for actual complex spaces which count in various ways. That was difficult to say, and it’s clearly true, though obviously not the last word on the matter. I’m trying to capture the idea that binary has Pathways built in, so if you count 1 and a string of 0’s to a 1, etc. then that series of choices contains all the grid squares and grid boxes, etc. of process which actually ocur in that count of 1 and a string of 0’s to a 1, etc.

I’m going to take a break. This is fantastic work! I am exceedingly glad because the horror show in my head this morning has been fierce.

—————-

Oops: it’s 24 Feb 2023

———-

I spent some minutes looking in the mirror. Took some photos. Posted one. That was me, hair not combed, having rubbed moisturizer into my face so it was reddish. I note two things. One is, you can see the effects of the facial and cerebral tensionings. Two, the images I would catch of myself are sticking, instead of flickering away. I can hold them, and I can take photos and see those images of me in those photos, which is all new to me. I can be this or that, and can hold those. It isn’t a dream of what might could be maybe if. That has actually happened.

I can of course interpret this as increasing dementia, but that doesn’t give me immediate mathematical results. What does is that what were flickers are indeed stable images attained, that these were and are ‘in me’ and could be brought out of me by intensive interior work, all connected over an Identity Space to you because you are the only candidate. You are acclaimed by unanimous vote, because you are the only one not self-disqualified. You have to vote for yourself to be with me.

So, a solution would consist of ‘this is how you can look’, with the work connecting you to that look, End to End. So that imposes a Counter, which consists of a symbol like a vertical line or a dash so the symbol contains the dimensionality which actually processes at that Counter. As in, you go to buy a gift and you process how much you want to spend versus what you can afford at this store, and whether you should go elsewhere, and so on, while the Counter is represented by the actual sales act or non-act, because you may come in and not buy. So the space itself is set up as a CounterSpace. I’m comfortable saying CSpace because a gestural C is 1-0-1 in Triangular, opened up on the open side, on the space’s way to becoming other things, like a G or an O.

I need a break.

————-

Piano just died. Shorted out as I was playing. Heard a pffft and it went dark. I don’t know how long I’ll last without that creative outlet. The pressure builds inside me.

As it happened, I was wrestling with why I find it difficult to visualize the exact notes in my mind, why I have trouble remembering basic mappings like Bminor is D, and that Gminor is only a note change away? It’s like I know these, but I can’t untangle them on demand, that I can’t eliminate all the processing which practicing reduces. That’s a nice model for how practicing works: the end result is a map of what went in, both in terms of time and ability, nurture and nature.

————

Piano rose from the grave. Died twice more. Has risen again and so far it’s still Easter.

I was suddenly able to raise my bad foot all the way to the toes, which lightened my movements, while expanding their range, and which pushed me to get being up on your toes.

So, there’s a literalization, which means a tObject which compares to an ideal because that has representations as tObjects or near tObjects, like a perfect score on a gym routine compared to doing a somersault as a kid. Those tObjects are surrounded by the iObjects which contain the processes which place that tObject in that context with those capabilities, etc. Can that be broken down more? We have a structure which compares the dimensionality of you as a kid doing a somersault on the living room floor to the dimensionality that goes into Simone Biles.

So what this is saying is that we have 2 tObjects existing within the same field of physical activity, each touching that field and tapping into the potential within that field. That is, we don’t need an exact pairing because we have ideal pairing, which means that someone or something does it as well as can be done to that current state of contextual existence. Like the 4 minute mile seemed unreachable until it was reached.

————-

Hesitated using the word ‘field’ above. But I’m trying to understand orthogonality, meaning the pairing over a grid square, which is what I think of as a field because that is where the game is played. You could call it a pitch, which is in some ways more accurate because the field tilts 1-0 and 0-1, and thus everywhere in Between, including flat.

That is inherent in Coordinate Rotation. Just imagine an entire ‘hidden’ plane rotates. Again, that says the ideal rotation of a really big 3 ‘fills in’ with the ‘invisible’ counts. And to complete this thought, that literally attaches this Winding to the End which was 0 and which thus is also 1. And since we also count Triangular on a bed of nails or 1’s, then this is also 4, meaning it attaches at the 0 End of the original 1Segment, and it attaches at the far End, at the 1 End of that same 1Segment. It’s always arriving.

So we’re saying the Informational Limit fits within a Winding.

And we’re saying we construct to ideal through tObject representations, which of course then spurs improvement, one hopes, though that seems to be more the case in athletic feats rather than intellectual ones, which makes sense because it’s the tObject representation. And thus the ‘geek cool’ of making something that has effects on many tObjects, which is a version of age-old enhancement of value within the field.

How does this work with people? One way is influence, meaning that the pairing over the ideal influences. Another is the extent to which your perspectives are entangled, meaning how close you come to being inversions of the other in which you pair over ideals, over some the same and others different, but in such number that you closely identify because you are the same underlying existence divided in 2 as all Things are. The HG conception of 1-0Segment over End to 1-0Segment, and the fD conception of an End over a 1-0Segment to an End. Literally, 1-0-1 and 0-1-0, with the labels flippable depending on the meaning sought.

Reduction of choice requires understanding choice, which means getting rid of the conception that it’s choice. It’s Conformal Reality enforcing Tractable Reality, which is the Dimensional Reduction to the individual Identity Spaces within the larger one, meaning solutions or possible Pathways appear over a Counter to an Observer. Need a short-term solution? Long-term? Eternal? DR means D4-3 threads of iObjects reduce to what can happen, what is likely to happen, what may happen, etc. I can say that better. I sense a notation issue in the way threads leads to iObjects without mentioning Things. We can say the Thing which includes the tObject, like a you, experiences DR in relation to other Things with their tObjects inside them. A thread of iObjects describes the potential Pathways, meaning this is where the processing works out like Storyline except it’s actually happening.

We have choice because we are Things with some degree of awareness. A Thing with less awareness has the choices it is endowed with, like instinct or simply having a capability, like slime mold. Choice is a label for being aware that Conformal Reality exists and that it becomes Tractable. This is where that farce version of the Barber paradox appears again: It’s Tractable when it becomes a farce about a guy who wears multiple hats with conflicting rules. That is how the larger pressure or tensioning of Conformal Reality operates. Get that? Tensioning? I think we can phrase the entire tensioning conception using dimensions, that when we tension and work out the kinks and gain range of movement and functionality, then we are extending the Thing’s reach and that appears in the tObject of self. So, tensioning essentially lifts or places the solution in view so it can attach across the structure to be continuous.

Did I just get the long-standing bugaboo about the apparent consistency or continuity of your presentation, though it varies immensely? That is, tensioning requires it because then the pieces are not only in place but are lined up properly to work with the other pieces. Need to go for a walk.

[queerlich]

Tarot for the Collective: For Welcoming Newness

This reading is one I designed and pulled for the inaugural Tarot for the Collective. It is also just a potent spread that you can use any time you are welcoming the newness of something into your life.

To start us off, I thought I would have our first reading be one to explore the future of this community and the relationships we will build here. This particular spread mimics the ones I do when I am receiving something new or significant in my life. Whether that’s a relationship, a new opportunity, a new tarot deck, or a new community like this one. Feel free to use this spread in your own practices! You may want to edit the questions depending on what the new thing is, but the essence remains the same.

To download the spread for free head to my Ko-Fi store.

Image Description: A spread “for welcoming newness” Card 1 is laid horizontal at the base of the spread. Card 2 stems out of it, centered vertically. Card 3 is tucked behind Card 2 keeping the line straight up. Cards 4 & 5 are angled out towards the right and left sides of the reading respectively.

Learn. What can we learn from each other?

Connection. What will be significant about the connections we will share and create?

Emerge. What will come forward as a result of the Suit of Chalices? What should we be aware of?

Receive. What gifts and offerings will we receive from our growing community?

Enjoy. What exciting possibilities might arise?

Image Description: Using the layout described above, the cards are the King of Chalices, Justice, The Tower, Nine of Chalices, and Two of Pentacles.

King of Chalices: Learn

The King is the role of the facilitator, which aligns with the element of Fire, however, Chalices is the suit of Water. Together Fire & Water require alchemizing to balance them. It is a powerful combination and it needs careful attention to ensure that neither element overpowers the other. When I think about this card I can’t help but think of how I am in this facilitator role. It is through my work and practice that I have brought us together, and it is my responsibility to ensure this community continues to be one that we are all excited to be a part of. I am setting the stage, creating the environment that will allow us to work together and care for each other.

Here the King of Chalices is obscured by Justice that lays overtop them. There is a line of water wooshing around the bottom of Justice, but the King themselves is hidden behind the card symbolizing our connection to be formed. I think this speaks to how the King is nothing without the court, without their people. Being someone who doesn’t want to have power over the people I work with (rather, I choose power-with wherever I can) I believe that just because I am the facilitator does not mean I am the only one who has teachings to offer. Each of you has your own knowledge, lived experiences, and ideas to offer. I strive to be a facilitator that listens to their people and ensures this community is one that supports us all.

Justice: Connection

I was so excited to see Justice appear in response to the question of connection. With this as the foundation that our community relates through, I feel assured that we will create a lasting community. One that supports us to create change within our own communities through being grounded in our queerness and spirituality. You know, the whole reason I wanted to create this offering and make this space a reality. To have justice-doing being the significance of our relations means divesting from carceral systems and stepping into how we create communities that care. Communities that are accountable to harm done but operate from a place of understanding and genuine desire to care for each other.

The Tower (reversed): Emerge

The Tower is tucked behind Justice, leaving nothing but the rising sun over a hill visible to our eye. We cannot see the depiction of the Tower itself, its precariousness is hidden away. If this is the Emergence, then we can be sure that transformation is on the horizon. I relate the Tower to restorative justice and abolition, and sometimes that does involve resistance to it. I invite us all to reflect on what role resistance plays in our Self, this community, and how we exist in the world around us.

The Tower falls regardless of us being ready for it. If the political change and upheaval we desire, happens tomorrow, would you be ready for it? I hope that this community is one that helps us, not just dream of abolition, but put it into practice.

For these next two, I want to note something about how I designed this spread. While typically we would see these two as “reversed”, they are wings that spread out from the card of Connection. With them oriented as they are it more means that we are moving towards these cards. The words “Two of Pentacles” & “Nine of Chalices” are far off, but coming. It is what we are aspiring to. If they were “upright” it would mean that it is present now and we are moving away from these current cards and into something else (when doing this spread on your own if you draw upright cards here you may want to draw supporting cards to know what comes next after these).

Two of Pentacles: Receive

Twos are near the beginning of the journey, and Pentacles is the suit of Earth. Together this means balanced priorities and growing adaptability, exploring newness in the form of pathways. We are on a journey together, and it sounds like we will all be receiving some understanding of how to balance our respective lives. Perhaps The Suit of Chalices Collective will allow us to find rest, for others it may spur us to action, and for others still, it may allow us to create a foundation from which to operate. Whatever your intention is in engaging with this space, I hope this community lets you explore it in a way that feels good for you.

Nine of Chalices: Enjoy

Nines are towards the end of the journey, and Chalices is the Suit of Water. Together this is often called the “wish card”. Here you are at a place where contentment, abundance, and the emotional security we desired have arrived. If there was ever a time to make a wish and call in what you want to see, now is the time. What we can enjoy together is seeing intentions blossom and desires manifest. (Just don’t forget that manifesting desires still requires some action on your part, a portal from which it will arrive).