#so dont purposely seek discourse

[anodyne-sunflower]

What's your opinion on ascended astarion fans?

No real problem, to each their own and I believe people should play a game however they want. Plus, if you're doing an evil run, it probably suits the narrative you want to build. Either way, it's your game, do as you please.

The only time I'm bothered is if they try to convince me it's the 'good' ending for him or that he isn't toxic/abusive or to just change my opinion at all. Again, as someone who has been in a toxic/abusive relationship, I'll never like ascended version. Not for me at all, and I won't budge on it being the objectively bad ending.

But most fans seem to stay within the spaces they enjoy, so it hasn't been a big problem, thankfully. Just be respectful, and no need to argue the point in a nasty way either. Just do what you want and enjoy it how you please.

[huckleberr1es]

no because what i dont understand is why people on ao3 intentionally seek out triggers/dark fics/dead dove, knowing full well that they dont like that type of content, just to leave mean comments? like its literally free to mind your business

and ao3 LITERALLY has a system for filtering tags/fics you dont want to see???? why not... utilize it? curate ur experience? i love me a good dark fic/dead dove but i also have my Squicks and u know what i do... i exclude tags in my search

idk i just think some people are addicted to drama and literally just need to mind their business 😭 "oh no this triggered me!!!" filter the fucking tags then and stop engaging in this weirdo form of self harm just to start shit??? and if someone didnt tag their fic properly tell them????? and if they dont listen??? BLOCK/MUTE THEM????? HELLO?

[quicksilverserpent]

I dont think civilian is a coherent category. Nor a very useful one either. Not unless all youre trying to do is manipulate useful idiots in a low effort way.

If youre a settler and the foundation for your whole lifestyle and prosperity is the violent dispossession of an indigenous people you cant truly claim to be an innocent bystander to that conflict.

If youre a member of the bourgeoisie and all the various arms of the state repressive forces committing all the violence in society from the exceptionally high pitched to the everyday cruelties are doing so on your behalf to enforce the social arrangements beneficial to you then you cant actually claim youre not a participant in that war. If youre a member of the ruling class its really even more important to winning any war effort to kill you and thereby end your will your desires and critically your ability to use your many resources to make those manifest than it is to kill whatever poor gullible sap youve hired to do your bidding. And so to go say "no you cant kill me ive got immunity youve got to restrict yourself to dealing with my replaceable underlings or else youre not respectable" its just so transparently bullshit.

Insurgents really are just ordinary people like anyone wlse whove been forced by their desperate wretched circumstances to take up arms by the crushing weight of the violence of imperialism and it is wrong to single them out from the rest of population as acceptable targets for the occupation just because theyve chosen to defend themselves and their communities from it. If someone punches you and you hit back your self defense doesnt vindicate or pardon their assult it doesnt give them a permission slip to beat the shit out of you only one of you has any "right" to be violent here.

Theres no equality in a war theres always an asymmetry yes everyone has their own narratives about who is right and who is wrong but thats the thing is some narratives are just bullshit theres no need to consider them or humor that shit whats important is seeking the actual truth.

All military occupations recognize who theyre fighting thats why draining the sea to leave the fish high and dry to suffocate is so frequently used to crush insurgencies which can move with ease among the population exactly because theyre a deeply enmeshed part of it that grew grassroots from it no matter how much the oppressors deny it for propaganda purposes.

Incumbent national regimes dont make these principled distinctions between these categories when its not convenient they go and slaughter whoever they feel they need to in order to accomplish their objectives civilian is just another rhetorical weapon to be applied to everyone else's conduct not their own a do as I say not as I do type thing.

When its wrong to kill someone its never about whether or not theyre a civilian thats really just a poor articulation of what the issue actually is its lazy and its just taking advantage of a prebuilt discourse which was built largely by and for war criminals ironically.

[deliriumbubbles]

After all the discourse about who was "more" wrong, It's exciting to see Apology Tour put the foot down and remind us that this is Blitzo's story. It's about how he changes and grows. It's not about just letting it go because we know he hates himself. You actually have to take steps toward improvement, and that's really fucking hard to do.

Are there psychiatrists in Hell? Cognative Behavioral Therapy?

So first off, anyone who was dying for Blitzo to be the one sending tons of text messages and coming back trying to talk to Stolas, congrats because he's definitely doing that. And annoying the crap out of Stolas and just hurting him more every time he talks to him because he keeps trying to make them revert their relationship BACK to "I'm just here as part of a transactional fucking." The big problem between them, that he can't believe that Stolas would like him even though Stolas has told him multiple times by now, remains because it's not something he can just hear once and get over.

Moreover, this is his story, so he's just going to say more hurtful things, but Stolas at least, this time, manages to use his own words (likely bc he's not triggered at that point and has some defenses up), and is able to tell Blitzo that his words are hurtful. Instead of magicking him out. Because Blitzo would just pop back over the wall.

So we get a brief, humorous montage of Blitzo going around and apologizing to everyone and not meaning it and he ends up at the Fuck Blitzo party and by degrees, and after Stolas singing a song that suggests that he still kind of blames himself for being foolish and thinking Blitzo cared, it does start to sink in and they talk a bit.

Interesting that this is the first time Blitzo has SEEN Stolas knocking it back because we the audience know he does this kinda regularly. Along with his own damn meds. Geez, these guys.

I also like that they didn't have to villainize Verosika in their conversation. She got hurt because it seems like their relationship was going pretty well until she let an ilu slip and that just sets Blitzo off because he can never believe that. It's like being compliment shy to a million degrees. And so he turned on her, he hurt her, on purpose, and she's angry because of what he did but also because he acts like it's her fault.

IS this party a monument to pettiness? Oh fuck yeah, it is. Maybe people should just learn to let go. I dont' think that's her entire career, but now whenever they're near each other, they both snipe at each other because she was hurt and doesn't feel like forgiving him when he's not sorry. But it was a good conversation between them. Blitzo hit another milestone, admitting out loud that he doesn't want to have to be like this forever. He does it deliberately, and it doesn't excuse it, but he's seeking change. He had to get here before moving forward.

So. Now he's had "a fucking minute" to process what Stolas said, has said, keeps on saying. He's heard that Stolas craves someone to love and want him. It's out there that Blitzo stopped Striker the first time. Unspoken things are moving forward.

I heard people fussing about this being their make up episode, but given the next ep (which probably will be in October), Blitzo needs to be at a low before he starts turning things around. It's his show and more than anything, the arc with Stolas is highlighting how he can't accept good things happening to him.

Stolas still has things he needs to work on as well. Highlighted in this episode is getting a more realistic sense of what romance is kind of like because he's basically a babygay rn. He doesn't have to have another full on relationship to realize that other people could want him. It could happen, but it's not necessary. He just has to recognize that he's not unlovable. That's not the problem with Blitzo. And for him to heal from his father and Stella he does need a little more experience.

Headcanon for me: Stolas and Verosika are gonna be besties after this until I'm proven otherwise.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

the reason i tagged it under the leon smut tag was because it's RELEVANT to the tag. listen i don't have a problem with people enjoying reading these fics, not do i care or harass them for writing what they write.

all i'm saying is that some people have a different interpretation of what leon is like and that's not like what he's being portrayed on majority of the fics on this tag.

i do write for leon, not on this blog but on ao3 based on what i interpret him to be like, but i'm just disappointed that 4 in 5 fics on this blog is something related to weird age gap/ddlg/stepcest fics which doesn't sit right with me.

obviously I don't read them, but it's just frustrating to find nothing that you personally like (something that's not the vast majority of fics on here) and i was merely expressing my opinion on the matter.

i wasn't exactly expecting attention either, but i believe that this was the right tag to post it on, since it's relevant to whatever is being talked about on this blog.

seeral other blogs have brought it up too, and unless you've been reblogging their posts too, i'd like to know why you interacted with mine, considering you've said that i dont have to interact with blogs that i dont like.

hi, i appreciate your polite explanation here (sorry that i was a bit more inflammatory towards you. while i don't agree with you, i wish you no ill will)

i apologize for assuming that you don't write for leon. it's genuinely cool that you do, and i'm glad that if you're engaging in this discourse (which i do wish was over) that you do actually care about the fandom.

that being said, the reason that i was upset was because your post was very similar to quite a few other posts in the past - most if not all of which were from people who were primarily in other fandoms/blogs created entirely for the purpose of engaging in this argument - and this discourse in the past has caused harm to dark content writers in the past (they've received death threats, racial slurs, etc.) and even if you had no intention of creating a hate campaign, these kinds of posts attract people who do harass others and will start this shit back up the moment they see an opportunity.

within this discourse, people on both sides have been asking people to stop clogging the tags with discourse like this so that's why i was pissed off that you put your post in the tags. i only tag my smut fics with the smut tag. when i'm talking about smut in a meta way, i won't clog the tags with it.

i agree that not finding what you want to read is super frustrating - despite having written certain dark topics, it's not what i seek out as a reader (i really like angst personally, and i don't think there's enough in the fandom, but that's why i'm writing a long angst right now!)

if you'd posted something like: "i wish there were fics with 'x' topic in leon x reader fics" and had just kept the convo on what you do wanna see, i wouldn't have been upset, and in fact, maybe i would've agreed with you. maybe then we could have all given each other recommendation of non dead dove smut or non smut fics!

but you posted that you're 'tired of being bombarded' by these fics and 'it's sickening', which reads to me like "i don't want these fics to exist/be posted to this website" rather than "i don't mind if people enjoy them, i just prefer something else". see what i mean?

people definitely have differing opinions of who leon 'is' as a character, but i don't think it's a crime to write him ooc. i don't think he's a sweet cinnamon roll man, but i also doubt he'd commit sex crimes. having the characterization conversation amidst the discourse about dead dove content can only cause drama especially when i think there's a lot more nuance to leon's character. most people who bring up the "he would never do that" argument, want to have these fics taken down.

i would also like to point out that i see a lot of people conflating different topics - stepcest is morally and legally wrong, so is incest and noncon. ddlg, because, by definition, it is a dynamic between two consenting adults, is not a crime, nor is it an issue - i don't personally engage in it irl and don't plan to, but if someone else wants to, that's none of my business. age gap is a completely different thing because (presuming we're talking about legal age gap, bc underage is morally and legally wrong irl) an age gap isn't something reserved to smut, some people just date people that are older or younger than them. who cares?

i have actually interacted with other people who have posted about this and given them the same attitude, so no, you're not the only (again, i don't dislike you as a person). i am, quite frankly, over it, so i'm more likely to try to shut this shit down before it goes any further whereas i used to ignore it more. and ik that might just cause people to want to argue more but i'd rather be the target of the hate campaign than other people - i'm tired of watching my friends get harassed over shit like this.

my question for you is: did you make this blog to argue about this? you said you post on ao3, but do you have a separate tumblr or did you just make one to argue? (you can see why it might seem like someone is seeking attention when their only post is rehashing the old argument that has garnered attention in the past)

[problematicfactive]

How do you feel about fakers?

I'm assuming you mean problematic factive fakers specifically, I'm not touching on any other discourse

First off, I do believe that faking is real. I know there are people out there who claim people don't fake plurality related things, they're probably just in denial. I faked all kinds of stuff in source. Seizures and all kinds of other shit. Anything can be faked.

I categorize faking into three categories.

Bait, attention-seeking, genuinity

Bait fakers are your obvious trolls.

Think a person in the MOGAI community that only "coins identities" that are offensive to practically everyone and based in slurs the coiner cant even say. Bait. That person isn't really MOGAI, they're faking.

Attention-seeking is a lot of your average faking

these are the people you've known your entire life who randomly started ticcing after coming across a tiktoker who tics. They'll tell you the have Tourette's, but only seem to tic when its convenient for them. My faking seizures would have fallen here. I only did it for my peers to like me

Genuinity fakers are harder to explain

To me, genuinity fakers are people who get something personal (other than just a silly little kick) out of faking. These are people whos lie is elaborate, not sloppily thrown together and who feel they get a mental boost by pretending to be something they're not. These people are commonly something of an adjacent identity and don't know of it, or they aren't really faking at all. They just don't know that yet. I hope that can make sense

Bait Fakers are the worst. These are the people who choose the worst guys they can think of. Oftentimes Hitler, Stalin, Dahmer, etc. And they post the most godawful things you could find. They make a tiktok account and talk about how they want to really genuinely hurt people in the most disgusting of ways. They're trying to make us seem fucked up. And it works a LOT of the time. These people are the reasons we have to hide ourselves. That really sucks.

I dont think- unless for the purpose of interacting with this specific blog/in this specific discord community- attention seekers exist for us. If they do, they're just gonna get harassed

Genuinity fakers i have the most sympathy for. If you feel healed by pretending to heave Remerez, and you arent doing anything wrong or trying to make us seem bad, I'm not going to stop you. I physically couldn't stop you if i wanted, so if you arent hurting anyone, why would I go out of my way? Chances are high these people are factkin, diauntrho, facthearted, etc etc. I just hope these people find the term that works best for them so they don't have to lie to themselves anymore

Thats how I feel about fakers at least. I'm not making you guys agree

[dare0451]

are you still an anarchist

yes! not sure who you are or why you care, but yes, im an anarchocommunist.

i assume this is about the company i keep, but frankly i find tankie vs anarchist discourse deeply exhausting and counterproductive. our political project is the same up until the 90% mark.

i think that the state is a tool useless for all purposes sans cruelty, and that all hierarchical orgs, no matter how honorable their founding members, will inevitably fall over generations and regime changes into only defending their own self-interests rather than any ideals that state stood for when it came to power. i think any dreams of a long lasting, functional, good-to-its-people state is a pipe dream

but, like, i dont have to only affiliate with people who agree, dude. anarchists and tankies both seek the collapse of the american imperialist project and all it entails. we're allies in this, and letting ourselves fall into petty squabbles is giving in to the will of our oppressors.

i dream and drool for the day my interests and the interests of my tankie friends no longer align, but that day aint today, and wont come within our lifetimes unless we collaborate to make it so.

that good enough for you, babe?

[dodgebolt]

what's with anti mcyt people constantly posting about being anti mcyt lol

[littlebabycrybtch]

me thinking about how ive had to have ‘ace’ and ‘asexual’ blacklisted on my main blog for years bc even just following decent ppl cant hide you from the normalized flow of stressful and offensive comments that come with sharing ace positivity or even neutrality and just slowly realizing with a sort of numb horror that i really, have to have my own identity, blacklisted, 

[thephantoms-heartstopped]

Help!

I have accidentally-on-purpose engaged in trans-platform jatp discourse and I dont know how to respond

As we all know, some tiktokers have been taking jatp memes and making videos out of just readings them. It's rude and it's borderline stealing.

Though I am not one of the creators that content is being stolen from I do feel the pain of someone else getting the likes and attention off the backs of your work.

So I commented on a tiktok of a girl who made a whole video JUST reading memes from tumblr. I have no videos for people to hate on so I have nothing to lose on that platform, so i said:

Her response was

As we all know, tumblr content has been screenshotted and put in other platforms for years. Leaving URLs mean nothing if people dont wanna go through the hassle of making a tumblr if they can get the content for free from a platform they already have. And I said as much with the characters I had

Now I am in a weird position, I love jatp and sharing content. But credit where credit is due only works if you give them the opportunity to seek out the person to be credited. Leaving the url is as helpful as a #credittotheoriginalartist on reposted art.

So she asked

Here is where you come in. I am not the one being stolen from, you guys are. How do I respond?

TL;DR: Tiktoker who has been taking content wants to know how to right a wrong and I dont want to speak for a whole community.

[menalez]

same gs discourse anon, yeah i feel like the type of people who rarely go against themselves and their instincts in general are people with a very defined sense of self, perhaps self assured people. this doesn't mean they can't be mentally ill or face hardships, it just means those things affect them differently. they're less easily influenced than others i think.

so to extend this to gs lesbians involved in this discourse, these are people who have been very aware of their own thoughts and feelings and able to accurately interpret them from a young age, which is fairly impressive; i believe that's a good quality that we all should seek to have, and I'd like future generations to have those qualities, but im not very hopeful since younger kids being exposed to the internet and thus porn are a very common occurrence these days, there's no way that's not going to have serious consequences in one's psyche and sexuality.

or we could say the more vitriolic people involved in this discourse are in fact not self assured and clear minded, but rather painfully insecure. they have gone through abusive situations, and perhaps they have a lot of doubts themselves, so they latch onto the fact they've never been with men to assure themselves they are indeed lesbians, and lash out at nongoldstars because they threaten their worldview, which is primarily build around self validation, for the purpose of self validation. a form of projection methinks.

sorry for going on a tangent lol

hey sorry for answering late!! i was unwell and i don't like this topic too much bc it does always bring me back to a very difficult time in my life, to some degree. what you mentioned about self-awareness rings very true for me, at least. as someone who faced a lot of trauma and abuse growing up, i grew up incredibly and severely disconnected from myself. i would do things and instantly feel terrible afterwards and feel suicidal and yet i'd somehow never connect the two. i know im not alone on this, many traumatised & mentally ill & abused women have probably also been very disconnected from themselves at one point or another. i had to go to therapy for literal YEARS just so i would be aware of my own feelings and thoughts. and when ur going thru that, ofc you have not processed even basic things and it makes going against ur nature and instincts super easy bc basically ur so disconnected from urself that u dont even know what u want and want u don't want and what you like vs don't like. a lot of the therapy i received was teaching me basic things which are part of our natural survival instincts: eat, itll make you feel better; sleep, it'll help you stabilise ur moods; don't sit in your room in the dark 24/7, it can make you depressed; talk about your emotions, it can help; if something makes you uncomfortable and disgusted, you don't have to do it; etc etc etc.

so i agree that these are important qualities to have when it comes to acting in line with your sexuality. you'd have to be mentally healthy to some degree and you'd also have to be not so mentally unhealthy that you literally don't even recognise yourself or your feelings. im sure many were also mentally ill and traumatised and struggled with recognising their feelings to some degree, and yet still had a stop point, but that's also not the case for everyone and signifies nothing about someone's innate sexuality.

and yeah i feel like at least a few of them clearly seem to latch onto how they reacted to trauma as validation for their own sexualities and that doesn't seem healthy or self-assured to me. it's hard growing up with trauma and it's hard to recognise your feelings after facing it, many traumatised women esp end up having unclear feelings and going thru a lot of periods of dissociation which makes understanding yourself (which is something so basic that it can be baffling to others to realise some of us struggle w this) difficult. so i understand why some with that experience latch onto their gs and the arguments they make to validate themselves. but it doesnt change that the argument is super black & white and ignores the reality that people aren't either polilez bisexuals that are trying to invade lesbian spaces (which are definitely a group of ppl that exist and cause us issues) or goldstar lesbians. theres more nuance than that to our experiences and this is bc we aren't so simple that we always simply act on instinct and can never go against our instincts and integral parts of ourselves. i wish we did bc itd simplify everything but that's literally just not how human beings are

[achillescourse]

ive been thinking about arguing (as usual) and so the rest of this post is going to be a summary of my logical interpretation of the 'ace discourse'

the lgbt community is

- a community of ppl w interlinked experiences and oppression

- historically linked

- overlapping idenities bc ppl often mistake us for each other and the further u go back the less seperation there is

the purpose of the lgbt community is

- to provide safe spaces (thereby requiring people who are not lgbt to be absent) and resources for lgbt ppl

- to advocate and fight for our rights and goals against our linked oppression (ie laes against us / unemployment / homelessness / medical discrimination / hypervisiblity / ect)

- ensure that secondary spaces, WITHIN LGBT SPACES, exist for lgbt people at intersections of other oppression ie poc, women, disabled ppl, ect

therefore in order to maintain the function and purpose of this group

- lines must be drawn between lgbt people and not lgbt people

- the meanings of our identities must reflect both a. something that ties us together and b. the trait about us that is the source of our oppression on this axis

given all of this, not only does is make sense but it is in fact required that we make the lgbt community exclusive to lgbt people.

the ace / aro community

- exists but hasnt been defined until much more recently and has not faced the same systematic discrimination / oppression that lgbt ppl have - they do however often face a lot of misunderstandings / rejection from ppl who dont get it

- have been big proponents of the split attraction model (SAM) which isnt really a functional model of sexuality and can help further ppls internalised anti lgbt attitudes

the function of the ace aro community is

- to establish a definitin and universal experience? however they do not have seem to have an agreement on a. what being asexual or aromantic means and b. how this changes how you interact with society . if you are ace but still have sex, how can being ace really change how you are treated, for example

- advocate for issues ace /aro ppl deal with, mostly lack of representation and knowledge within the wider community

thus, as the ace/aro community is not functionally/historically similar the lgbt community it doesn't make sense to try 'add a' to lgbt and more importantly.

it historically was not there for ace/aro ppl until they actively boycotted lgbt support groups to get it (as it was leftover from when spaces used it to try give ppl plausible deniability,,,, when being lgbt was illegal and stuff) so one cannot argue that they 'were always in the lgbt community' that is a lie

finally. its a mischaracterisation and a deliberate strawman to act as though a. saying you must be lesbian, gay, bi or trans in order to be lgbt hurts ace/aro people and b. that people somehow want no ace/aro ppl in the lgbt community - 'ace exclusionist' is a misnomer - we do not seek to exclude aces/aros, in fact lgbt ace or aro ppl are an important part of our community

however. being ace/aro isnt a ticket into the lgbt community. there is no need for more letters, its just simple. if ur lesbian, gay, bi, or trans (which obviously includes non-binary ppl) then ur lgbt. if u arent. sucks to be a loser lol

[toziers]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[d20trashcan]

It's very weird to know some people consider themselves "staples" of a fandom. To claim you created something in a fandom or be the leader of something is so bizarre to me. Especially when the contribution isnt original?

I dont claim myself to be anyone important in the fandom. I just liveblog, write a few posts and comments and do minimal art. I mostly reblog shit. There other creators, usually artists, that I consider bigger and probably figureheads of the fandom. Not going to name names but you know who they are.

So, when I see someone claim they helped create something or popularize something in a fandom, I kinda question it? Idk, it just seems kinda narcissistic. Especially when the popularization becomes dangerous and controversial.

I havent commented on it cause it's not really my place nor my business to talk about it at its peak but the fandom discourse that had went around like for a few weeks have been interesting to see. I dont mean interesting as in fun but as in an analytical way, blamed my biology background.

Anyways, from what I've seen, I cant help but feel disappointed but also reluctant.

It's one thing to criticize people but it's another to send hate? Death threats and hate mail defeat the purpose of criticism and invalidate the critique of the criticized. There is no chance of learning or accepting fault when all they can think is people are just haters or trolls. I agree with the criticism being made but I dont agree how the degree of backlash that had happened?

Then again, when the criticized do not listen and are adamant about their opinions, it makes it hard to sympathize, especially when it's such a controversial topic? When you take to heart how many people are peacefully standing away from you or feel like people owe you for doing something for a portion of an audience, it feels kinda manipulative? When you dont own up to your mistakes and blame the person who made it evident of your mistakes, its just very hard for me to show empathy.

Cancel culture is weird cause I understand why it's important but the ways of going about it can be dangerous and harsh.

I like to think the best in people but there are just some facts that prevent me from being able to do do. But there comes to a point where my unwillingness to support someone is questioned and interpreted as following the bandwagon or if it's because I see validity in the criticism.

Maybe I'm no better. Maybe I come across as narcissistic or annoying because of my comments on people's posts or tweets, making myself sound buddy buddy with people who I'm not. Maybe I come across as attention seeking or guilt tripping during to my insecurities of my art and my position in the fandom in general. I want to start being known for art but that's really a roll of the dice. Its dependent of my abilities, my time and honestly, my self confident. I dont try to be seen as a selfish person but maybe I am.

But that's why criticism and the willingness to listen to it is so important. If some many people are saying the same thing, telling you something is not right, shouldnt you listen?

[the-breloominati]

pretty unimportant but it's whatever

i am now being exposed to shipping/art discourse in i think the first time in my life

and I just

so the thing thats getting to me is the whole anti and anti-anti thing right

cause people are getting upset about getting hate from people that dont like one of their ships or something??

and like I get it cause apparently some people are receiving really bad harassment and maybe death threats idk this isn't something I really actively seek out yknow

but when you write with kinda vague language ("fucked up tastes in fiction" for example) it kind-of leaves a lot of room for interpretation

and I know thats the point becayse theres a lot of things to cover right?

but like..

ok so there's this story "Borrasca" right

its really messed up (the plot basically revolves around this sexual abuse ring), but it isn't glorifying the abuse or anything?

its kinda hard for me to put into words but basically the abuse isn't included for the pleasure of the reader

like its messed up but thats kinda the point maybe?

it isn't written in a way that's supposed to provide pleasure to the reader, I guess is what I'm trying to get at

and so there's a difference between that and writing horrible abuse for the purpose of providing pleasure to the reader, if that akes any sense

and like you do you I guess, I don't..

art is weird in the sense of what you should and shouldnt express I guess

I just..

idk like I'm just so tired of it

like yeah I guess "purity culture" is kind-of a thing

but also please think about and be aware of how art affects people and how it will be seen by people

because a thing I've seen a lot from anti-antis (idk if this is them as a whole but from what I've seen it kinda seems to be the thing) is the whole "oh fiction doesnt affect reality" thing

and I cannot describe to you how frusting it is every time I see it

like yes for the most part fiction does not have a direct impact on reality

most people won't read something and be like "oh so this is ok now" or "oh I'm going to do this now"

but it is absolutely fucking ludicrous to believe that fiction has no impact on people whatsoever.

believe or not, people are, in fact, affected by the fictional media they consume

yknow Cupcakes? that mlp fanfic? and rainbow factory?

those helped shape me as a person and have probably affected my tastes somewhat

like yknow gore art? and body horror?

like I'm mostly fine with it

body horror's neat, and I love me some Junji Ito

but I think a lot of that is because I was exposed to it I guess

Because, when you consume a piece of media, regardles of how it affects you, it still becomes a part of you.

It does affect you.

Just not in the way I think a lot of people assume it would.

also with your vague language, are you upset because you made like.. idk a fanfic focusing on like idk an abusive relationship and exploring it (idk, I have no idea what people do)

or is it something that is genuinely concerning and may, in fact, have a negative effect on people

And for fucks sake stop calling people who get triggered by certain media "snowflakes."

I understand that they can just block you and move on, and stop looking at the piece of media that's triggering them, but it literally costs you $0 and only a few extra seconds, maybe a minute, to put a trigger/content warning on your piece.

Acting like that's too much work or acting like the people that get triggered are being entitled is the most snowflake fucking thing.

Grow the fuck up.

Sick of people being super vague like "oh x person got mad at y person for making some fucked up art" or whatever.

Stop being vague about it.

If you're being vague because you don't to write out what it is they did, maybe think about why that is, and reevaluate.

I understand freedom of expression, and how important it is to art.

I understand pushing boundaries.

But please for once in your life sit down and think about how what you make is going to be perceived by people.

Death of the author is real. And it's one of the most important things you need to remember as a creator.

Doesn't matter what you intended for something to be.

Probably the most important thing is how other people are going to perceive it.

And in case I didnt say it before: don't harass people, and never send anyone death threats.

First, those are things you generally just shouldnt do. Period.

Second, if you have a problem with someone, all harassing them does is give them the opportunity to be like "oh I got death threats over a piece of art," which gives them the opportunity to be the victim, amd makes your side of the argument look way worse. You want people to hear you out, dont fucking do that shit.

[kekeslider]

fandom discourse often loops back to this idea that one character cant be the redeeming force behind another characters arc. for instance, the idea that entrapta cant be what leads to a hordak redemption arc. or that catra couldnt leave the horde/join the rebellion in any part because of her love for adora.

and i think thats really weird, because the stories most of us love are the stories that are built on character dynamics and relationships. i for one love the “character teacher a robot how to love” kind of story, which fandom also seems pretty into with mara/light hope, and i want to know how thats Really different from the aforementioned? how is it a BAD thing if entrapta teaches hordak the value of human connection and to care about other people?

i’m not saying the character doesnt have to do the work, or the weight of responsibility should fall on the others shoulder, but a relationship, platonic or romantic, being a strong motivator for a character arc isnt inherently a bad thing, and for some characters it can be the best option.

this is one of the things i like best about the good place, in fact. all of the characters in the show are on their own redemption arc, and the show declares boldly and certainly that its their relationships with each other that make them all better. our relationships can define us, can lead us different ways through life, for better or worse. chidi makes eleanor better, and in her own way eleanor returns the favor. entrapta forces hordak to value another person, it sparks a change in him that can go even further, and hordak in return validates entrapta and the things she cares about.

i do think catras redemption arc needs to be largely self motivated bc too much of her choices that have led her where she is has been motivated by other people, she needs to seek healing more from within so she can have healthier relationships in the future. but thats one character, and not all are the same. and in the end, if catradora is part of her happy ending, i dont think that means her redemption was only for the purpose of the pairing.