#so i am on... a lot of drugs about it
Text
allergy PSA
mcAlisters deli is one of the restaurants that began adding trace amounts of sesame to their bread when it became legally required to treat it as an allergen and thus use appropriate measures to reduce cross contamination in manufacturing. (The ostensible excuse for this is that now it's supposed to have sesame in it, so that doesn't count as cross contamination.) The specific breads affected (that I know of) are the ciabatta and the baguette, but there may be more. If you have a sesame allergy, you will need to look on their website to see if the menu item you're looking at is safe to eat, even if you have eaten it before. I plan on writing a strongly worded letter tomorrow once the Benadryl and Prednisone wear off.
#it wasn't a severe reaction but i took a lot of drugs to preempt it and didn't go to the ER and i think the second phase might be hitting#so i am on... a lot of drugs about it#probably it's fine#sesame allergy#food allergies#sesame#allergies#psa#McAlister's deli#does this post make sense i feel like dog shit
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
201km 🏘️💕🚌
#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#digital art#digital illustration#sasha's art#a few months ago i got asked to make a few illustrations for a poetry book that got published in my home county#the book dealt a lot with the imagery of home and nostalgia and homesickness and moving away#which are all themes i know so so well lmao#i never thought i would miss my home town but ever since i moved to a different country i get homesick so often#it is mostly about missing my family but it all of course also gets projected onto my home town#which is a place i know i wouldn't survive cos i don't Fit In like that and i spent many years there being so incredibly Lonely it almost-#-killed me#but nostalgia is a powerful drug i guess#i often think of all those places i spent so much of my time growing up#different kids walking those roads#different kids having different memories of it#something about it makes my heart ache profoundly#i hope they have a better life there than i did#i will always love my home town so so dearly#but in the end i am glad to be where i am now surrounded by friends and feeling safe <3
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be
me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha
#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience#basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night#where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything#it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young#and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again#but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good#and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get#it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough#and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced#i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up#and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it#and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN#TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY#and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it#im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday#what is even going on anymore#also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do#actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk#and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd#i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3#hella goes home
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
feel like I need to add a little intrigue, a little spice, a little danger to my life. I need to pick a vice.
#what are my options... alcohol cigarettes reckless sex weed acid ecstasy#alcoholism runs in my family but playing with fire is fun and sexy right?#cigarettes are sexy but I am concerned about the smell. it gives me headaches#reckless sex I wish. it would require me to figure out how to be sexy and to flirt but I feel like so many people do it#I could probably get there eventually. and if I am willing to sleep with straight men probably not a high barrier to entry#weed gives me the jitters but maybe I could find the elusive middle ground between no reaction and extreme full body shakes#acid and ecstacy. I could be a raver. I love concerts and the anime con raves like a LOT. not sure how I would react but I could try lol#i feel like cocaine is not my vibe. also tried snorting pixie stick once and couldn't figure out how it worked. blew it all over my friend#idk what other drugs are there that aren't meth heroin or something similar#these are all ones I hear people talking about doing recreationally#oh Shrooms. and maybe K? shrooms seem cool but also I think I would probably get overwhelmed and vomit#I know literally nothing about K#you guys should give me suggestions. I want to feel cool and sexy and dangerous and preferably not completely ruin my life
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
With a combination of medicine, excessive water, and Soup, I am feeling... okay.
Very sleepy. But at least it's not agony to swallow like it was last night. So I'll take it.
#speculation nation#idk if it's progress or drugs but im glad to not be utterly miserable#i just feel kinda crummy.#but i have nowhere to be for all of today. so i can just spend it lounging.#for now ill probably nap. later i might wanna try watching a show maybe. if i can get myself to.#rn i have like... no concentration in my brain lol. so i cant do anything i actually care about.#sleepytired... such is my existence rn... just existing waiting for the next dose of my nyquil...#i did order a care package for myself tho. of dietary supplement shakes. apple sauce. and More Soup.#since. last night even just having the soft mac n cheese hurt real bad.#so im on a mostly liquid diet rn. not the best. but it's better than nothing.#getting lots of fluids... lots of nutrients... trying my best to take care of myself... i am...
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk what ramadan is gonna look like for me this year lol
#z.gen#i try to be more on my deen and i will do it this year#like hitting all of my prayers when i normally hit like 3/5 etc#no substances which fluctuates yearly since being calisober is what got me off other drugs but should be fine this yr#a lot of people wont listen to music either but i honestly dont listen to it much during the day regardless#having a very night time schedule is helpful during ramadan#i think im gonna try and focus on establishing all of my prayers#i dont really care to talk about my faith much cause its so genuinely no ones business#but i am muslim i just dont follow the practices of any of the four major sunni schools strongly for other reasons#im not shia either tho... looking#none of it matters rn cause i cant fast anyway LOL but its okay#its just like. kind of hard to celebrate islam with whats going on in palestine#like a lot of my fellow muslims get really obsessed w the aesthetics#but the month is about refraining from worldly desires and practing restraint and is generally anti consumerism#so its like. idk if i care for fun silly ramadan recipes. im gonna try to organize stuff with my mosque again inshallah
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
💛💛Benji "Scrags" Scragtowski, my beloved💛💛
(If you couldn't tell, he's my favorite Squadster)
#love my little sad detective man with his PTSD and complicated relationship with food#thank god he isn't real so I don't have to resent him for being a cop#he can be a bitch but I am very proud of him#Esther talks a big game about doing all the work (and its true they do a lot of the heavy lifting)#but Scrags is the one who gets the cases solved#like in Grunch the mystery remains unsolved until Scrags finishes coming to terms with his personal drama and turns his attention to it#at which point the Grunch gets caught lickety-split#he keeps the others actually on task and working I guess#benji scrags Scragtowski#Solve It Squad#Solve It Squad Back in Biz#the Solve it squad says no to drugs#the solve it squad returns#tin can bros#joey richter#rewatchers2000
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate. HATE. That if you have an invisible illness, going to an instacare or hospital or ANY new doctor where you haven't "proven" yourself to them (fuck that too by the way) you have to basically DIE in front of the medical staff, and not just die, but die in a way that is "believable" and "couldn't be faked" in order for them to believe you are suffering and give you the good medications that will actually alleiviate your suffering.
Fuck this whole stupid system and the war on drugs and everything that has led humans to judge others to be undeserving of pain relief and medical care until they have suffering so severe even a baby can tell they are in agony.
#bitemylip#chronic illness#chronic pain#i dont talk about this stuff a lot but#im incredibly fed up right now#i had to go in 3 times and after suffering for 3 weeks i was finally given an opiate with a lot of suspicious looks#and it helped calm everything down and i improv3d within 24 hours#only had to take three doses and am now off it already#no worse for wear#almost a month of suffering#and for what#fear i was drug seeking or faking it#im so angry. this isnt even the first time this has happened
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was admitted to the psych ward in the summer of 2015. i was supposed to be taking a statistics class. obviously, due to being in the state of mind that leads one to get admitted, i did not go to the stats class after the first day. when i got discharged my college told me i could request that the incomplete besmirching my record be wiped if i wrote an appeal to some kind of. i dunno, board? i don’t remember. all i remember is the discharge paperwork wasn’t enough. i had to write an appeal. normally i would have been embarrassed. but it made me so furious. so i wrote 4 pages describing the experience of wanting to kill yourself and taking 10-15 mgs of stolen xanax a day for a month. describing the first part of my stay in the psych ward where i cried for 18 hours straight, not able to sleep even with all the trazadone they gave me. describing the fear of being discharged, shoved back into the real world after being fired from your job, and now you have 6 monthly medications you have to start paying for. i wrote all of this in a blind fury, submitted it. the whole time, hoping that whoever read it was made supremely uncomfortable by my candor. hoping that the view into my wretched ass existence gave them some perspective on how absurd it was that i needed to prove myself in the first place. made them rethink the need for someone in severe distress to beg for an exception in writing.
incomplete was wiped from my record without issue. no comments or feedback were received. it was just quietly wiped away.
i hope that motherfucker thought about me as they went to sleep that night.
#i don’t know what to trigger tag this as i’m just gonna do my best- lemme know if i should add any#suicide mention#drug mention#this was so long ago now but i still think about it a lot#sorry to be non silly goofy guy on main but i am Reflective today#(no idea when this will get spat out from my queue but hopefully i’m not as reflective when it does#kenposting#hey btw fun fact. i was discharged on the same day gay marriage was legalized in the us. love wins <3#ok to rb if u so choose
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
mentally healthy person activities: start sobbing at how difficult you're finding something as simple as changing over laundry
#talk tag#why am i so fucking tired all the time lately. and also forever.#i never want to be called high functioning or low support needs ever again i am struggling so much through everything i do#i just don't HAVE support. i just don't have any#goddddd i need to get back on my meds but i don't want to go back to that psychiatrist#and i don't want to rely on my mom to pick up my meds for me on her way home from work bc she'd put it off for days#so i ended up skipping them a lot#and you know the one thing that was actually working just made my legs move a lot in a way other ppl found annoying and every other combo#did not make that go away and he just WOULDNT put me back on what was working. bc i guess to psychiatrist 'hey this was helping way more#than anything else we've tried. can we go back to that' means 'i want to abuse drugs and die'#also wait idk if im misremembering but i did once tell my therapists when i was in group that i really thought i'd be doing better if i lik#had more actual friends#and they told me that i don't need a lot of friends to feel fulfilled and work on myself first or smth like that#maybe they misinterpreted me idk. also one day i said 'im thinking of giving up my spot here so my sister can get help'#and they immediately pulled me out of the session and told me that it wasn't working on me anyway and they couldn't help me#didn't even get to finish that day they just sent me home#idk. when it helped it helped but near the end it hurts my feelings to think about :(#i just want to get better. i csnt do it by myself.#my sister did get to go though abd she learned more self respect but shes also somehow even more individualistic
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
hella do you think you could dumb bitchify aftg 🥺
(your making me want to get it but idk yet)
NO. GET HELP
#um. so basically i do not know how to even begin to explain aftg even if i am dumb bitchifying it. there's this guy#and he's on the run and he's on his own no family no friends but he's OBSESSED with a made up sport called exy#it's like a mental crutch for him it's the one thing he's really passionate about and he's willing to risk his brutal life#of survival and being on the run if it only means he can play. and this team of professional exy players called the foxes sign him on#and they're all messed up in some way bc the whole point of them is to be a refuge for societal rejects#we're talking drug addicts ex-juvie abuse victims etc etc the works and it's written in a VERY raw way#that often lends itself to making the characters feel very real but also does mishandle a lot of very sensitive topics as a result#and the series is basically about the found family of this team and them going from dysfunctional underdogs to national champions#except the fucking mafia is involved. and andrew minyard exists but i cant even speak of him tonight with the mood im in#i WILL shatter into a million pieces#ask#aftg
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wish all addicts, in recovery or not, a life free of sorrow forever
#.vent#kinda. im not gonna delete this one though#i just. i sure am thinking about this a lot.#i listen to like. trip report videos or whatever and like. the comments section on every single one. just nasty#theres no sympathy for an addict to be seen. unless they're also an addict or are recovering#my dad is a recovered addict. hes been clean for 6 years. i love my dad and hes a wonderful person.#i obviously still have trauma from when he was actively in his mess. to deny that addicts have caused others trauma is to be reductive.#addicts can cause trauma because theyre people. and people can cause trauma all the same#but the lack of understand or care or basic respect to anyone dealing with addiction is just. appalling.#im sick and tired of hearing the same old fucking phrase that its the addicts fault cuz they decided to take the first hit. like#man how fucking cruel can you be. how heartless ya know.#like its obvious hardly anyone commenting abiut this knows anything about what being an addict is like. like.#i know i dont. ive been sober my whole life right. i do not have the same experience.#but. i have a compulsive disorder that makes me perform a task that is 1 harmful 2 almost entirely out of my control#and i cannot describe to you how difficult it is to ignore that urge. for your mind to know what youre doing is harmful. but#your body physically is not listening to you.#like. its a different thing when its addiction. but being compelled to do something you know is hurting you isnt unfamiliar to me#plus with addiction the added factor that your body becomes physically dependent on a drug and it hurts you for a long ass time to try and#stop and withdrawl can sometimes literally be lethal. its so fucking sad to see people hold not even. like an ounce of sympathy ya know#if an addict has abused you im not saying you need to forgive them. you dont. but not every addict is youre abuser#and while you do not need to be involved. every addict deserves a good life. everyone deserves a chance.#just. god. makes me mad. makes me upset.#if you are an addict especially if youre not in recovery. i hope your days go well. i hope the world gets kinder to you.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i honestly genuinely hate dostoevsky but i made rocco such a dostoevsky's character it's embarassing
#what r u some kind of fkin raskolnikov!!!! but like. unrepentant and w/o this christian thing#anyway. i am highly interested in in the moral decay so. it was inevitable im afraid#i think its bc . rocco's attitude to the drugs? like there's some morals in him ? no i wont talk bout him not now 😭#im still unsure about a lot of things#and there's literally quote from crime & punishment in this ugh ? edit? moodboard? i made for rocco#bout poverty
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way we handle medical leave in the states even for people with good benefits is cruel
#the number of hoops i have to jump through. the way that my requirements for one surgery are apparently different from another surgery#even though there's nothing in the paperwork to indicate any need for that and the surgeries don't differ all that much#the way that they lost my initial letter and now i'm up against my deadline next week and they haven't even told me what day next week#so i'm worried that it's literally tomorrow#the way i am not receiving ANY pay for an entire month because of all the delays so i'm having to live off my savings#the way that every single person i've talked to has said something different about what is and isn't required#the way that for a lot of this i had to be navigating it while high on painkillers immediately post-surgery#the way that the group my employer contracts through has two different emails and names and flips between them constantly#the way that my healthcare provider does it differently than every other healthcare provider so i need special forms from them#instead of the leave group but then the leave group doesn't seem to accept the forms that they send#the way that the doctors office has seemed incredibly confused by my requests#the way that the ROI office told me they'd send over a completed form and never did#the way i literally don't even know who to call next to try and sort this out or if it's possible TO sort out#like i guess i'll call the leave group tomorrow and cry and beg for an extension. i guess i'll grovel bc it's the difference#of getting a few thousand dollars or not and i can't just be like oh well guess i won't get my short term disability pay#especially bc none of the hospitals have billed me yet and i'm getting scared bc i don't know what my ER bill is going to look like#bc they did xrays and a CT scan and they gave me a splint and a sling and a lot of drugs#so i do need the money. just sitting here like. idek what to do lmfao.#not tagging this bc i'm on desktop and i can't do the accent mark easily and idk where my phone is rn sorry
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i watched one (1) movie about big pharma and now am researching the allergy meds i've been on for 18-13 years and connecting unexpected dots
#i don't actually understand enough about pharmacology to be that confident in anything#but am now curious if being on daily antihistamines for most of my life contributes to having The World's Driest Fucking Skin#and also intrigued by the fact that the reason i was told they didn't keep me on prednisone year-round (despite it being the only med that#actually lets me breathe completely freely + have a sense of smell) is that it causes bone loss#but ??? it apparently also suppresses the immune system?#which ig sort of makes sense if allergies are essentially ur immune system going whack attack at random benign shit#and FASCINATED by the fact antihistamines can be used for insomnia when they r in fact#insomnia making drugs for my family#also this is all a reminder i rlly rlly need to go see an in-person allergist sometime this year#both bc i'm apparently due to get my lungs checked and also bc i would like to talk w/ someone abt the montelukast thing#like i am not eager to go off it bc it's the most effective med i've had in#y'know#18 yr of allergies#but the side effects are. kind of a lot.? and were not explained when i was started on it#so would just like to see what my options are#also start allergy shots x_____x#personal#this has been medical history with curio hour
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
drbrittanyadamiakdds-blog
Green Hills Pediatric Dentistry
lovetosuck2
Untitled
vermillionage
It's been 5 years- a guy can change
oyprongs
give us a kiss
mewtryclover
˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆