#the way that my healthcare provider does it differently than every other healthcare provider so i need special forms from them

[serkonans]

the way we handle medical leave in the states even for people with good benefits is cruel

[misshoneyimhome]

you’re interning with the maple leafs athletic training department after graduating university in the health field. you’re new to the city & don’t know anyone. ur quiet and only engage with players when spoken too. it’s obvious ur intelligent and very career driven. you have an independent vibe. it’s clear ur not impressed or starstruck by players, but not in a rude way its just u aren’t interested in hockey as a sport only the health aspect as it relates to ur career, so ur vibe gives off very much *professional only here to get paid*😂….anyway willy thought you were stunning initially,but he was caught off guard since ur not his usual type and don’t have the same physical or aesthetic look as any other gf/vibe in the league. ur appearance is very feminine but u dress streetwear tomboy. ur slim but with an hourglass build athletic legs /big butt. u have big long curly hair that u let flow wild and don’t wear makeup but ur skin glows and thick dark eyelashes /rosey lips are striking. its clear willy is not the only one that finds u intriguing bc he’s noticed few players act “different” when u come around -and he can tell they’re crushing on you. they’re harmlessly flirtatious with u but ur oblivious. he knows someone will ask u out soon. how do you think willy reacts? does he make a move? does he feel jealous? he hasn’t even had a chance to introduce himself, yet he’s seen other players find an excuse to interact with u. he knew he was interested but didn’t expect to have to act so soon. does chill willy feel like he has competition or nah? can you write something to add or finish the plot or just take this concept and create ur own magic 😅 i have the vision but definitely not the skill or outlet lmao

Absolutely, babe! So, this was more than just something and I definitely enjoyed it 🤍 You provided me with so much inspiration, and I hope I've managed to convey your vision at least to some extent 😉

Perhaps there's room for a sequel, but I also believe it stands strong on its own - either way, my wish is for you to enjoy it 🤗

Warnings; none, it's pure fluff 🌺 maybe some language, but nothing out of the ordinary;

Word count; 5K

Song inspiration; "Lovestoned/ I Think She Knows" by Justin Timberlake

Taglist; @couldawouldashoulda50 @findapenny @justwanderingbutneverlost

➼｡ﾟ

She’s got me Lovestoned I William Nylander

“She looks like a model Except she's got a little more ass Don't even bother Unless you've got that thing she likes I hope she's going home with me tonight”

Your heart raced with excitement as you followed your manager through the busy corridors of the Maple Leafs' training facility. The sound of skates scraping against the ice and the reverberation of pucks hitting the boards filled the atmosphere, adding to the tangible buzz of the surroundings.

Freshly graduated from university with a degree in the healthcare field, you had long imagined this moment. Securing an internship with the athletic training department of one of the most esteemed sports teams in the league was a dream come true – an opportunity to apply your expertise and knowledge in a practical environment.

As you strolled, you couldn't help but admire the cutting-edge facilities surrounding you. From the fully equipped gym to the medical treatment rooms, every aspect was crafted to ensure the players received optimal care and resources.

And your manager, sensing your admiration, offered you a warm smile. "Welcome to the team miss y/l/n," they said, their tone brimming with pride. "We're delighted to have you join us."

You reciprocated the smile, thankful for the chance and eager to demonstrate your abilities. This was your moment to establish yourself in the realm of sports medicine, to glean knowledge from the experts and contribute to the team's triumphs.

And as you continued to explore the facility, a surge of excitement pulsed through you. This marked merely the beginning of your journey with the Maple Leafs, and you were resolute in seizing every opportunity that lay ahead.

_

As you settled into your role as an intern within both the Medical and Performance teams, your reserved and composed demeanour became apparent to those around you. You'd always been one to let your actions do the talking, and this remained unchanged in your new environment.

Focused and resolute, you approached each task with unwavering commitment; whether it involved aiding in rehabilitation exercises or conducting pre-season screenings, you handled each duty with precision and diligence.

While some might have mistaken your quiet nature for aloofness, those who took the time to understand you soon discovered there was more beneath the surface. You were intelligent, determined, and fiercely independent – a formidable presence in your own right.

Unlike many others in your position, you weren't swayed by the glamour of professional hockey. While you respected the sport and admired the players' athleticism, your focus lay solely on the health and well-being aspect, aligning with your career aspirations.

To you, the players were not celebrities to be idolised but individuals to be cared for – athletes whose welfare relied on your expertise. And you simply approached your responsibilities with professionalism and purpose, recognising the significance of your role in the team's success.

Yet, although you kept to yourself, speaking only, when necessary, your influence permeated the facility. Your dedication to excellence and the players' wellbeing garnered the respect and admiration of your colleagues. And as you delved deeper into your work, you found a profound sense of satisfaction, knowing you were making a meaningful impact on the athletes' lives and careers.

_

As the first two weeks of your internship with the team flew by faster than you’d expected, you quickly became fully engrossed in the dynamic world of professional hockey. The days were a whirlwind of absorbing new information, making acquaintances with staff and players, and engaging in hands-on tasks that put your skills and knowledge to the test.

With the start of the regular hockey season on the horizon, the gravity of the job began to dawn on you. However, far from feeling daunted, you embraced the challenge with enthusiasm and resolve. This was the culmination of your training, the result of your hard work, and you were prepared to demonstrate your worth.

With each passing day, your confidence in your abilities grew, and you found your rhythm within the team. Yet, while your focus remained on your duties, you gradually began to forge connections with those around you, as the staff and players greeted you with open arms, fostering a sense of camaraderie that made it easy to acclimate to your new surroundings. Your initial intention to maintain a professional distance slowly faded, and you somehow found yourself drawn into the team's social dynamics.

As time went on, laughter and friendly banter became commonplace during the long hours spent with your colleagues, and before you knew it, you were joining in with the playful teasing.

"Come on, Lou," you chuckled. "Who's the trickiest player?" you quipped.

"I can’t say..." Louis Rojas, the Head Strength and Conditioning Coach, chuckled in response. "But there are certainly a few who need a gentle nudge when it comes to the rehabilitation aspect of training..." he winked. "And I won't name names, but it seems like the longer they've been on the team, the more inflated their ego becomes."

It was all good-natured banter, naturally. From your perspective, each player had their own unique traits, but you understood why – this was the results of their lifelong dream, pursued with sacrifices of social life and late nights for early morning training sessions and weekend games.

And despite the jests, you felt like you were part of a close-knit family among your peers.

Whether it was the late nights after a defeat or the shared jubilation following a hard-fought victory, every experience drew you nearer to your team. And when a player sustained an injury, regardless of how minor, you felt the weight of responsibility, knowing you played a vital role in the team's support structure.

Even the players, initially unfamiliar with your reserved nature, began to open up to you as they became more acquainted. Despite any unintentional distance, they valued your commitment and professionalism, gradually extending their trust and respect.

And as you navigated through the highs and lows of the hockey beginning of the season alongside your newfound comrades, you couldn't help but sense a feeling of belonging – a realisation that, despite any initial hesitations, you were precisely where you were meant to be.

_

“She shuts the room down The way she walks and causes a fuss The baddest in town She's flawless like some uncut ice I hope she's going home with me tonight”

As the months went by, more players gradually began to get to know your personality a bit better, noticing the subtle sparks you unintentionally ignited. And one player, in particular, found himself increasingly drawn to you.

William Nylander hadn't anticipated this turn of events, being entirely focused on his career and having his best season yet. However, as the young Swedish forward observed you carrying out your duties with quiet resolve, he couldn't ignore the growing sense of curiosity that stirred within him. Unlike the typical women he encountered in the hockey world, you possessed a unique charm and allure that captured his attention from the outset.

Your appearance defied convention, blending elements of femininity with a distinctive streetwear tomboy aesthetic. Your slender yet athletic figure, accentuated by your hourglass figure, toned legs, and shapely posterior, intrigued him in a way he hadn't expected.

Your long, untamed curls flowed down your back, framing your face in a halo of natural beauty. And though you opted for minimal makeup, your natural radiance shone through, with thick, dark eyelashes framing your captivating eyes and rosy lips that seemed to beckon him. Yet, it wasn't solely your physical attributes that intrigued him – it was your confident and graceful demeanour, your unapologetic embrace of your individuality.

To William, you represented a refreshing departure from the predictable stereotypes usually found in the hockey world. He found himself drawn to your authenticity, your refusal to conform to societal norms. And as he observed you navigate the challenges of your role with quiet determination, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was far more to you than met the eye.

Yet, amidst his desirable interest, he couldn't help but think of how you might respond to his actions and thoughts. Would you reciprocate his attention, or would you maintain your professional composure, unaware of the impact you had on those around you?

Only time held the answer, but one thing was clear—William was determined to find out. And one day, he resolved to take action and initiate a conversation.

"Hey there, I'm Willy," he introduced himself, flashing his trademark smirk as he encountered you in the physio room shortly after a session where the performance team had discussed nutritious foods and home recipe ideas.

And as you tidied up the materials from the presentation, a soft chuckle escaped you. "Yes, I'm aware," you replied with a gentle smile.

"You are?" he inquired, a small hint of surprise in his tone.

"Well, of course," you chuckled once more, a mischievous glimmer in your eye as you neatly arranged the papers. "It's part of my job - I'm familiar with all of you, including your current physical condition and medical histories."

William couldn't contain his amusement at your response, his smirk broadening as he let out a soft chuckle. It wasn't often that someone managed to catch him off guard, but there was something about your effortless confidence that intrigued him.

"Ah, so you've been doing your homework on me, eh?" he teased, leaning casually against the nearby equipment rack with a playful glint in his eye.

"You could say that," you retorted with a grin, a touch of mischief flickering in your gaze. "But don't worry, your secrets are safe with me."

William smiled, a sense of warmth enveloping him at your relaxed banter. "Well, in that case, I hope it's all just good stuff," he quipped, flashing you a charming smile, his eyes gleaming with genuine interest.

"Oh, absolutely," you replied, feigning innocence. "Only the finest gossip about your impeccable physique and stellar health habits."

William laughed, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "Well, I'm relieved to hear I've made such an impression," he joked, his smirk widening as he leaned in a little closer, a newfound sense of connection sparking between you.

And as the conversation flowed, the playful banter between you and William felt effortless, each exchange infused with light-hearted humour and genuine warmth. Despite starting off as acquaintances, it was evident that this spontaneous encounter held the promise of something more, leaving a sense of anticipation lingering in the air like a whisper of exciting possibilities.

_

As the first few months progressed, William couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in dynamics whenever you were present. He observed how other players' demeanours changed, becoming more animated and flirtatious when you entered the room. And despite your apparent obliviousness to their advances, William couldn't shake the twinge of jealousy gnawing at him.

As it was, your responsibilities extended beyond mere observation and monitoring of the players' physical and mental well-being; at times, you were also required to engage with them physically. Whether it involved carrying out a soft massage to their legs or backs, aiding with stretches, or similar activities with the purpose of facilitating their recovery, ensuring the were swiftly back on their feet was part of your role.

And truth be told, when a young, attractive woman like yourself interacted closely with young men, some of whom were not in committed relationships, their minds often wandered. And consequently, comments occasionally slipped out, their mouths moving faster than their rational thoughts.

"You know, you can press harder, I can handle it."

"We could continue this session later, when it's more private."

"Your touch is amazing – it's really doing wonders... anything else you're good at?"

To you, these remarks seemed harmless, playful, and merely part of the camaraderie. You were accustomed to the tone, unaffected by it, and accepted it as part of the team dynamic, which was likely why the management allowed you to work in such close proximity to the players.

However, for William, these comments carried a weightier significance.

For some time now, William had been trying to forge a closer connection with you, seizing any opportunity to get to know you better amidst the limited time available. Yet, despite his efforts, you simply remained a staff member while he was a hockey player under your care. And he wasn't the only one deserving of your attention. Your professional interest extended to all the players, regardless of their role on the team, and it appeared that some others were making rather direct attempts at flirting.

A part of him had hoped for more time to cultivate a deeper bond with you before making a move. However, with each passing day, he felt the pressure mounting as he observed other players finding excuses to engage with you.

Despite his typically relaxed demeanour, the young Swede found himself torn between maintaining his composure and the urge to stake his claim before someone else did. It was an unfamiliar sensation; one he hadn't felt before. Usually, it would be the women vying for his attention. But you were different. You exuded nothing but a sense of calm, confidence, and independence that simply captivated him.

And as he deliberated his options, William realised that he needed to take action, to seize the moment before it slipped away.

_

"And now I walk around without a care She's got me hooked It just ain't fair, but I... I'm love stoned and I could swear That she knows"

Fortunately for William, an opportunity presented itself one evening, and he was determined not to let it slip by. It was a typical Wednesday training session, with a match scheduled for the following day, and during the ice time, he inadvertently made a small movement, aggravating his existing back injury.

While not severe, the coaching staff still insisted on him being checked before the upcoming game. And luckily, you were still at the facilities, having just finished up a report when he entered the medical treatment room.

"Hey y/n," he greeted softly, walking with a slight crook in his step, the pain from his lower back evident.

"Hey William, what's up?" you asked, noticing his discomfort. "Is everything okay?" you inquired, concern evident in your voice.

"Just call me Willy," he smiled. "But um... yeah, I sort of did something... I mean... Kniesy tackled me, and now I can feel it in my back..." he explained with a light chuckle.

"Well, how about you undress a bit, and then we can take a closer look at it?" you suggested with a sweet smile, to which he simply nodded.

"Usually, I take the girls out before they ask me to strip," he cheekily remarked as he began to undress before you.

Raising a brow, you flashed him a grin and a questioning look. "Do you really?"

This was the type of banter that most of the players appreciated about you. You weren't afraid to push boundaries and test their comfort zones.

"Maybe not," William admitted with a chuckle as he stood in front of you, only the physio table separating you, in nothing but his short shorts before you directed him to lie face down.

"Well, at least you admit it," you replied softly, surprising yourself by engaging in a more personal conversation than usual. "Most guys just act like they couldn't care less."

William was slightly taken aback by your candidness. While you'd shared conversations where you got to know each other better, you hadn't delved into deeper opinions before.

"Why wouldn't I care?" William smiled as he shifted his head to the side, meeting your gaze as you stood beside the table. "I mean, she's still a person, right?"

"I don't know, I'm just saying what most guys do," you replied.

"Well, maybe I'm not like most guys," William retorted, his wink adding to his cheekiness.

His comment took you by surprise, causing you to pause for a moment. Though you hadn't exactly considered any of the players as close friends or thought about them in a romantic way, there was something about this Swede that suddenly had you reconsidering.

Was he flirting with you?

No, you dismissed the thought. You were definitely not his type, or any of the players for that matter. After all, you were just there to help maintain their health so they could perform at their best.

Yet, as you thought about it, you couldn't deny that most of the players were indeed attractive. And given that you'd seen most of them in various stages of undress, you knew what they looked like from head to toe.

And you probably couldn't deny the allure of the players. Each had their own charm – some were sweet and kind, while others were more playful and cheekier. Yet, none of them displayed any meanness or cruelty. Even Reaves, who often projected a rough and tough exterior, revealed a tender side when speaking about his family. In fact, most of the players with families exhibited a similar dichotomy. Despite their tough demeanour on the ice, they were remarkably different behind the scenes.

Then there were the younger players, some single, some in relationships, all equally playful and lacking a certain level of maturity. However, you found their antics amusing and entertaining. Perhaps only Woll, the sweetheart of the team, was less inclined towards playful banter, but lively, nonetheless.

And despite your bit of familiarity with these players on a personal level by now, they remained nothing more than the team you were tasked with caring for and supporting as needed.

So, pushing aside any lingering thoughts, you focused your attention on the player's bare back, beginning to apply pressure to his tender muscles to locate the sore spot.

"How's this?" you inquired in your professional tone.

"It's good, but maybe you need to go a bit lower... that's where the pain is worst," William responded, the cheekiness in his voice fading as he sensed your seriousness.

And as you continued to massage his back, applying pressure to different muscle groups before focusing on his lower back, a few minutes passed.

"Here?" you asked, indicating the area.

William nodded lightly, then hesitated, feeling a twinge of awkwardness as he tried to pinpoint the exact location of his discomfort.

"Uh, yes, but..." he cleared his throat. "Maybe even lower..."

You sensed his slight nervousness, understanding what he was hinting at. Yet, you remained professional, knowing exactly how to address his injury and provide appropriate care.

"Willy, are you referring to your sciatic area?" you asked.

"What's that?" he chuckled.

"Well, it's one of the largest nerves in the body, extending from your lower back down each leg," you explained, smiling even though he couldn't see it.

"Oh, so, uh..." he trailed off, unsure how to ask, and you couldn't help but chuckle lightly, maintaining your professional demeanour.

“It means I'll have to massage your glute - as in your bum. It's one of the largest muscles where the nerve runs behind, but it seems like yours is cramping a little, pressing onto the nerve, which causes the pain."

William understood your explanation, and a smirk crossed his face as he imagined your perspective on his ass at that moment.

"Well, I suppose there's nothing else to do but for you to go ahead," he chuckled lightly.

Sensing his slightly cheeky demeanour once again, you aimed to bring the situation back to a professional tone.

"Willy, it's nothing sensual. And believe me, it's probably a lot more painful than pleasant," you reassured him.

"I think I can handle it," he replied with a cocky smile.

"We'll see about that."

And with his understanding, you went ahead and placed your elbow onto his cheek and started to circle it in order to loosen up the cramp muscle.

“Shit!” William exclaimed as he suddenly felt the pain course through his body.

One thing in particular that you’d become known for amongst the players, was that you were rather strong compared to your size. And you didn’t hold back when you knew that their injuries required force. 

“Told you it wasn’t pleasant.” You grinned softly, as you continued to massage his cheek. 

And as more minutes went by, William’s deep grunts only grew more incoherent and out of breath. He was nothing but sore, yet as you released your arm from his body, he felt a newfound release washing over him. As if your massage had healing powers, the pain slowly faded into nothing, and he didn’t feel the twinge in his lower back any longer. 

“Fuck…” he let out a deep sigh as he caught his breath.

“Need a minute, Nylander?” you mocked playfully and flashed him a grin as your eyes met with his.

“Maybe…” he softly admitted, still a little numb from the intense feeling you had caused him. 

“That’s good, that means it’s working.” 

You turned around to remove your latex gloves, and as your turned back, William slowly rose and turned to his side to face you, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him. Despite the discomfort of the massage, he recognised its necessity and appreciated your expertise.

"Thanks, y/n," he said sincerely, meeting your gaze as you turned back to face him.

"You're welcome, Willy," you replied with a warm smile, appreciating his gratitude.

A moment of silence followed as you both remained still, and the tension of the massage easing away. Then, suddenly, William's expression softened, and he cleared his throat, as if preparing to speak.

"Listen, y/n, I... uh... I just wanted to ask..." he trailed off, his cheeks colouring slightly.

You raised an eyebrow, curious about what he was trying to express. "Yes?" you prompted gently.

But before William could continue, the door to the physio room swung open, and one of the team trainers entered, interrupting the moment.

"Hey, William, everything okay? I heard you were having some trouble with your back," Dean inquired, concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine now, thanks to y/n," William replied, shooting you a grateful look.

Dean nodded, then turned to you with a smile. "Thanks for taking care of him, y/n. We appreciate it." 

You nodded in acknowledgment, though you couldn't hide the slight disappointment you felt at the interruption, before he swiftly left the room again. However, William's reassuring smile lifted your spirits, sparking a sense of excitement within you. Perhaps there was more to his earlier words than you had initially thought.

And as William watched you, a surge of determination coursed through him. This was his moment, his opportunity to finally express what had been on his mind for so long. So, with a deep breath, he pushed himself up to sit, his gaze unwavering as he met yours. The lingering soreness in his back served as a reminder of your expertise and the connection they shared.

"So, this is it?" he asked, his voice soft yet filled with anticipation, a hint of vulnerability peeking through his confident facade.

"Well, for now," you replied with a smile. "But we'll need to keep an eye on you to ensure it doesn't happen again like that. Cramps like these often come back." You found yourself unintentionally delving into the details of the injury, your passion for health and well-being shining through. "And, um... it's good to have someone who understands the injury to provide follow-up care," you concluded, realising you had been speaking more than intended. "Sorry, I'm rambling," you added with a sincere smile.

But William simply chuckled softly, finding your passion endearing as you spoke about the injury. He couldn't tear his gaze away from you, captivated by both your expertise and your beauty. 

"Anyway, we should probably get back," you suggested softly, your friendly smile causing a flutter in William's heart. 

But he didn't want this moment to end, not yet. Summoning his usual confidence, William spoke before he could second-guess himself. "Y/n, do you want to go out with me?" he asked, the words tumbling out faster than he could skate.

You didn't quite catch his words over the echoing noise of the hallways. "Pardon?" you asked, turning to face him, curiosity flickering in your eyes.

Taking a deep breath, William tried again. "I mean, since you've already massaged my ass... I was just thinking... maybe you want to go out with me... sometime?"

His question caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily stunned. Frozen in your position, you struggled to process the unexpected turn of events.

“Willy…” you started, unsure of how to respond. Could you go out with him, a player for the team you worked for? Had you overlooked any contractual restrictions regarding such situations?

Truth be told, you hadn't paid much attention to those details before, as they didn't seem relevant at the time. Yet here you were, faced with an unexpected situation.

As you hesitated, William sensed your uncertainty, a twinge of fear for rejection creeping into his mind. Had he overstepped the boundaries? Perhaps he had misread the signals or been too presumptuous. Chiding himself internally, he realised that charming you and engaging in physical contact were not enough to win your affections. You were different, and he needed to find a way to impress you.

"I mean," he interjected, attempting to ease the tension he had created. "I just know that, uhm, some of the other guys were, you know, thinking about asking you the same... so," he sighed, "Just thought I'd try and beat them to it," he added with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck.

Your confusion deepened at his explanation, feeling overwhelmed by the revelation. "Oh... wait, what?" you exclaimed, your mind racing at the thought of other players potentially having similar intentions.

You were baffled. Did the players talk about you when you weren’t there?

"You didn't know?" William looked at you, equally surprised, as his teammates hadn’t exactly been subtle in their flirting.

"Well, do I look like someone who knew?" you quipped, attempting to flash a crooked smile, causing William to simply let out a small laugh.

“Come on, they’ve all been flirting with you!” he chuckled.

“They have?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Well, now you know.”

You needed a moment to process it all. As you contemplated how to navigate this unexpected revelation, feeling unable to simply ignore it and return to your usual routine, you gazed at the Swede before you.

“But... why?”

Again, William laughed. “What do you mean why? Come on, y/n – you’re good-looking, funny, smart, and most of all, you don’t seem desperate or starstruck whenever you're around us,” he explained.

“Why would I be that?” you simply asked.

“Well, a lot of girls are, I mean, we’re hockey players,” William grinned confidently.

“Oh wow, please work on that self-confidence of yours,” you rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms. “Seriously, I don’t get why women would just throw themselves at your feet… you’re just… humans.”

“Well, they do,” William laughed again, his confident smirk still in place. “But I guess that’s just what we all like about you... that you don’t...”

“Hmm, I suppose I don’t,” you attempted a smile, still uncertain how to react to it all.

There was another moment of silence as the two of you simply stood before each other, your thoughts still swirling. However, as William hadn’t received a clear response, he let out a soft chuckle and decided to press on.

“So, do you?”

“Huh?” you blinked a few times, slowly returning to reality.

“Do you want to go out with me?” he chuckled once more. “Just for a coffee or something?”

He seemed genuinely serious about this, didn’t he? You thought. As you gazed into his deep ocean blue eyes, you couldn’t ignore the unexpected attraction you suddenly felt towards him. It might have been there for a while, but amidst your own musings, you hadn’t paid it much attention.

“Well, wouldn’t it be inappropriate?” you asked softly, still maintaining your professional demeanour despite the stirrings of emotion within you. But William simply shrugged in response.

“I don’t know… I mean, I guess in a way…” he let out a small sigh. “I just didn’t want to miss the chance, you know, in case you did want to…”

Once again, there was a lingering moment in the air. You couldn’t deny the temptation, given that you were, in fact, single, and had been missing a man’s touch ever since you’d focused so much on your internship. But a part of you felt like it would be wrong.

In a way, you worked for William. You couldn’t go out with him. What if it didn’t go well, and he’d hurt you or vice versa? Then it would just be awkward seeing each other every day. Or what if it went too well, but the management wouldn’t approve of it, and both of you would end up being hurt?

Your thoughts raced at a high speed, causing you to lightly gasp for air. Yet, your train of thoughts was interrupted by the door swinging open again and this time Lou entered.

“Oh hey,” he smiled. “You guys all done in here?”

“Yeah sorry, we just chatted,” William explained casually, as you remained frozen in position. “I better go.”

And as he left the room and Lou started to talk to you, you suddenly felt a wave of disappointment wash over you. Watching William leave with your indirect rejection of his proposal suddenly caused you to feel a sense of unease, perhaps making you realise that there was something more to it all.

Then as you realised you hadn’t heard a single word of what Lou had said, you excused yourself and hurriedly followed the Swedish player.

“Hey, Willy,” you called after him, causing him to halt and turn around. Trying to maintain your composure, you met him halfway and flashed him a sweet smile. “I suppose coffee wouldn’t be too bad,” you spoke softly, earning a smile from the taller player.

“Well then, I guess I’ll buy you a cup whenever there’s time,” he chuckled lightly, feeling a sense of relief.

“I’ll look forward to it,” you said with a soft smile, then turned around and forced yourself to refocus on work.

And as you walked away, William couldn’t help but bite his lip as he thought proudly about being the first to ask you out and your positive response. Finally, he could acknowledge all the emotions he’d been feeling for a while, and perhaps, just perhaps, you felt the same for him.

[catboybiologist]

hi, i have one like, question for you regarding transgender healthcare. beacause. like there are people to whom dysphoria brings immense distress/unhappiness, and any healthcare system should absolutely take care of that, for free.

but theres also people who dont feel that strongly about gender and or dont experience dyphoria, but still prefer getting/removing their tits/penis/vagina. and thats also okay, like, infromed consent and all. but im not sure where the line should be on what we (as in, taxpayer) actually pay for. like, idk, i dont have a strongly formed oppinion on this. so id like to hear yours

I know you're not from the US, but unfortunately my perspective on this will have to be amerocentric because that's my experience- so I'll talk about that perspective first, and then try to generalize it.

The American healthcare system is so wasteful in how it bars people from procedures its insane. More money is spent figuring out how to reject people from receiving monetary payments for healthcare than would be spent if you just approved the overwhelming majority of them. And this isn't even considering other ludicrously wasteful forms of spending the US government does, like the insane portion of our defense budget that just disappears into thin air every year.

So how much additional burden should the taxpayer pay? Ideally, none, because any significant reform of the healthcare system would make all of these questions moot.

But, not every country is in this situation. And there is still a question embedded in here- what is the line of providing medical care from the government/taxpayer? I don't have personal experience with it, but this is exactly what countries with socialized healthcare deal with all the time, well beyond just gender affirming care. I tried to make the parallel with abortion because its a similar category of thing. Let's call it like... "semi-elective" procedures- medical procedures with the potential to significantly improve someone's quality of life, but won't kill or severely incapacitate them if they don't get the procedure, leaving it up to them to decide whether the medical context for the procedure fits for them (I'm NOT trying to lessen how life changing these procedures are, I'm calling them 'semi-elective' as a way of denoting that two people faced with the same situation can make different decisions about it based on their personal considerations). This can apply to a lot of things, some of them almost entirely cosmetic- surgeries to mitigate a mild disability, breast implants for cancer patients after a masectomy, procedures for conditions like cleft lip, facial reconstruction after severe injury, and on and on. To me, gender affirming care falls in this category- its not cancer treatment, but it is life changing in an overwhelmingly positive way.

In my mind, it should be the priority of any government to prioritize and expand the healthcare they're able to provide, including for these semi-elective procedures. Many wealthy, developed nations have the ability to cover most or all of these kinds of procedures, even though they're entirely "elective". But yes, budget and resource concerns are very real in many places, so yes, priorities do have to be made on a national scale. This is a very delicate and interesting question, actually, and there is a lot of room for well-intentioned debate on it.

But I'm not going to answer it.

Because I think you should ask yourself something.

Why is this a question so frequently applied to gender affirming treatments, yet rarely, if ever, applied to any of the other procedures I listed above? I'm not jumping on you, because you asked a genuine question, and I'm glad you asked it. I'm speaking to anyone reading this, not just you, because this exact thing is so frequently brought up when discussing gender affirming care. And that's a double standard through and through- there's no way around that.

[entitledrichpeople]

is this factually true for all of america? https://prnt.sc/LmJPFf0JCCaF

Generally, yes. Though SSI and SSDI are different, with SSI being the program that applies to those who were disabled young or had very low incomes during their working years and SSDI is higher with far fewer income and asset limitations but is still inadequate.

SSI's maximum payment is below poverty level ($914 a month maximum) and yes, it is counted against other anti-poverty measures like food stamps. Basically every time I get an extra dollar from SSI, I lose one from food stamps. On SSI you're not allowed more than $2000 in assets total (with some exceptions, like primary residence) and no income from any sort more than $1913 of income from any source. If you can work, you're not eligible.

SSDI levels are based on income during working years, if you paid in more than so many quarters (it's possible to have income so low it doesn't count) and payments tend to be significantly higher than SSI. The asset cap doesn't apply, nor does a general income prohibition, except income through work. Living on SSDI alone is difficult, even on the higher end, but some of this group have pensions or spouses with higher incomes. If you're on SSI and you marry they automatically cut your benefits even if you partner has no income or is also on SSI-it's a bad idea to marry if you get SSI, but people on SSDI's spouse's income isn't counted against them.

As to health insurance, both SSI and SSDI qualify you for (certain parts of) medicare, which, yes, has obscene drug prices generally. People on SSI also almost universally qualify for medicaid, though how the combination of the two gets administered is absurdly inconsistent between states & can fluctuate a lot. Medicaid tends to be better than private insurance when it comes to paying for drugs and testing, but discrimination by healthcare providers is rampant and, again, this isn't consistent state to state. I live in one of the better medicare states, but the way they farm out administration means you lose some aspects of medicaid when you qualify for both. Medicare pays for medical equipment in a way that medicaid never did for me, but medicaid alone never complained about name brand vs generic or tried to nickel and dime me to death by making me pay $1 to get some of my prescriptions.

You can't afford typical rent on SSI, let alone rent on the extremely small amount of housing that is accessible to people who use wheelchairs. Public housing also has only a few accessible spots and elevators in most public housing are constantly non-functional. Depending on where you live, those waitlists-even for extremely inaccessible or frankly unsafe and run down apartments-can be years long. Some places use a lottery system.

Oh, and if you get hospitalized for a month they take your SSI for that month so you can't pay whatever nominal level public housing insists on, so you can end up being evicted for being hospitalized.

If you don't have family that can take you in, it's extremely easy to end up homeless on SSI. And if you do have people that can take you in, the power dynamics of that situation enables a high rate of abuse.

As absurd as it sounds "it's illegal to not be poor on SSI" is the literal truth.

[thescrumblingmidwife]

So what are the ways to stop a period (and fertility) as an adult? I need to figure out my plans for when that time comes. I mean permanently, btw.

Hi Anon,

I'm getting a lot of asks like this. Here's another one:

Anonymous asked: whats the safest way to stop getting a period as quickly as possible? i was told by my gynecologist that id be given birth control that'd stop them but i keep getting them and it's been months

So let's do a menstrual suppression post.

MENSTRUAL SUPPRESSION (AKA, Secondary amenorrhea)

What can be done depends a lot on your age, where you are, what kind of healthcare access you have, as well as your reason for seeking menstrual suppression.

If you experience medical complications like endometriosis, serious menstrual pain (dysmenorrhea) or heavy menstrual bleeding that causes anemia, etc., you may find you have an easier time accessing treatments beyond BC than if you just "don't want a period." (FWIW - I think that's a completely valid reason for menstrual suppression!). Trans and GNC people will fall somewhere in the middle - depending on where you are, it may be considered a legitimate medical indication all on its own, and in other areas may result in a roadblock and discrimination.

Disclaimer - my scope as a midwife will be limited to the use of hormonal birth control until I complete separate training on offering gender-affirming care. So please take what I say here only as a rough guide to your own research. If I've missed anything or get anything wrong, please let me know!

PREPUBERTAL (have not yet gotten a period)

Leuprolide (lupron) is an antiandrogen medication that basically stops sex hormones from working. When used in prepubertal/early puberty kids, it's called a "puberty blocker." It's meant to be a temporary solution until the kid can be sure what they want to do next, as its effects are completely reversible. Pediatricians will usually refer you to an endocrinologist or a gender clinic rather than provide themselves.

Otherwise, I'm afraid that you must first go through the initial period of menarche until normal periods are established before you can then go on menstrual suppression.

ADOLESCENT (teen, not yet an adult)

Progestin-only birth control is the first-line treatment. The good news is that pretty much everyone can take it, and it's relatively easy to get. This works by keeping the uterine lining thin, and keeping a level of progestin high enough that you don't experience the withdrawal that triggers menses. Methods include: IUD (intrauterine device), Nexplanon (implant), Depo shot, and pills. In all methods, it takes several months to work, and spotting/breakthrough bleeding is a possibility.

---->If you take the pills, you have to take them at the exact same time every day, so the hormone levels stay even, or you risk breakthrough bleeding. Different brands have different progestins in them, so if one doesn't work for you after several months of taking it properly, you could ask your provider about switching to a different pill.

---->The IUD has the best record with total menstrual suppression after a few months, but it is the most invasive of the LARC methods to insert.

----> Nexplanon can take some time to achieve menstrual suppression, and some people still get breakthrough bleeding, but it is also the single most efficacious BC besides hysterectomy. Yes, even more than tubal ligation.

----> Depo shot is pretty good at achieving amenorrhea, but has more side effects (low libido, dry vagina, risk of bone loss) that can take a while to resolve after you come off it

Testosterone - If you are trans and go on T, it may stop your menstrual cycles/ovulation, but it is not a guarantee. People on T are counseled to also be on BC, because it is does not eliminate the possibility of pregnancy and is teratogenic (can cause birth defects). You should not go on T purely to stop menses, as it has other permanent effects - go on T for those effects and be pleased if it happens to stop your period.

ADULT (18/21+ up)

All of the above methods, plus:

Estrogen-containing birth control may offer more suppression but also increases certain health risks (like clots), and it has a number of contraindications (reasons why someone can't use it safely). Generally don't advise teens to use it.

Tubal ligation for FERTILITY CONTROL ONLY. This will not stop periods!

For transmen: Hysterectomy (uterus removed) and/or salpingectomy/oophorectomy (tubes/ovaries removed). This is a component of gender-affirming care - but you will likely need to find a specialized provider for it. The average gynecologist is not going to do an elective (no medical indication) hysterectomy ----> https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/hysterectomy

I have seen some evidence that Lupron can be used for menstrual suppression as well, but I haven't heard much about it being used outside of certain medical indications (like if someone has cancer).

GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE

If you identify as trans or gender non-conforming and there is a gender clinic in your area, I recommend trying to get in with them, as they deal with this sort of question regularly. They have interdisciplinary teams (mental health providers, gynecologists, endocrinologists, surgeons, etc) that can meet all your needs. Someone trained in gender-affirming care will be best equipped to help you.

Here is a list of gender clinics in the USA:

Ok, all you Anons out there - I hope this is a good jumping-off point for you to find what you need. The TLDR is please try to find a provider who is willing to work with you and help you find what's available to you in your area!

[bobbyfiend]

People don't "deserve" things, but it's not because they don't deserve them

I guess I'm an existentialist, now. It's been a decade or two coming, but here I am. I find the basic premises of existentialism convincing, especially this really big one:

Nothing has meaning in and of itself. Thinking beings create meaning.

A beautiful waterfall isn't inherently beautiful, even though we say it that way; we find it beautiful (note: maybe not everyone does). People are not inherently good, bad, etc.; these are evaluations given to them by other people. Humans make meaning, we don't discover meaning that was already there. Because it wasn't.

This doesn't mean life is a bleak, meaningless experience[1], because we make meaning. That's what humans do. When we say "America is great" or "You are an amazing teacher" or "Room With a View is the best Merchant Ivory movie," we are expressing a meaning we make and experience. We can try to persuade others to adopt our meanings, and we can be persuaded by them to adopt theirs. This is how we get things like "justice" and "freedom" and "taxation without representation." The discussion of meanings is critical to creating a life worth living, and it never ends (welcome to the dialectic).

The hard part

When someone says, "Every human deserves [x]" (x = love, freedom, compassion, water, healthcare, safety, etc.), that is a logical problem for me, because of the stuff above.

Before anyone yells (not that anyone will read this, but just in case), please understand first that I fully agree with the end goal of those statements: we should be making sure people have access to those things. I'm not arguing with that view, I'm talking about how to understand it in a consistent way.

People don't have inherent meanings any more than rocks, nations, or political parties do. We give them the meanings. Beyonce is an amazing artist, Trump is a garbage fire disguised as a politician ... these are meanings we assign to others, or that emerge from meanings we assign to behaviors, identities, etc.

Saying a human deserves something packs a lot of meaning into that person. I don't think it makes sense to do that, so I [2] need a different way to think of this stuff--a way that respects the principle that meaning is created, not discovered.

I'm not 100% sure how to construe or talk about this, so internally I say things like "I believe, because of meanings I made or accept about humans and a bunch of other stuff, that I need to work toward humans having access to the things I consider human rights"[3]. I think making humans safe, happy, loved, healthy, etc. is a good thing, and that the human race will be better off the more we do this, so I'll try to convince others to do it. Underneath that idea are some more beliefs like "I believe making humans happy is a valuable thing to do," "I believe trying to convince others of this point of view is a valid activity," and "I believe I cannot be who I want to be unless I strive for this."

Again, I don't know quite how to say all this without saying humans "deserve" something. Here are some stabs at it, none of which really satisfy me.

"The more people working toward [x], the greater overall happiness will be, which means our world is better."

"People will be both individually and collectively happier if we work toward the happiness of others, such as by providing [x]."

"Your rationale for not striving to provide [x] to all humans regardless of identity or context is much less convincing than the rationale for providing it."

In the end, I don't think it's too important to convince others to drop the "all people deserve [x]" language, because I generally 100% agree with the push to provide [x]. We're working toward the same goals. The "deserve" frame also probably appeals to a lot more people than my kludgy attempts to express this without "deserving" in it.

Anyway, I haven't worked out quite how to conceptualize or talk about this, yet, despite being (currently) convinced that "deserving" is not it. My internal dialectic is ongoing.

---------------------------------------------------------------

[1] Maybe that's nihilism?

[2] I don't expect everyone to need this; maybe it's just me, and that's okay.

[3] Human rights aren't the same (at least from some perspectives) as humans "deserving" things; human rights can be seen as legal or moral statements about what a bunch of humans need to be doing, without saying that it's because other humans have inherent meanings that nobody made.

[georgeshutcheson]

The K Tax Code: How it Affects Your Pay and What You Need to Know

New Post has been published on https://www.fastaccountant.co.uk/the-k-tax-code/

The K Tax Code: How it Affects Your Pay and What You Need to Know

Today, we’re diving into a topic that might seem complex but is actually simple and quite important for every taxpayer to understand: the K tax code. In this article, we are going to explain what it is, how it can affect your pay, and what to do if you find yourself under this tax code and believe that it has been incorrectly applied to you.

Understanding Tax Codes

Before we delve into the details of the K tax code, let’s take a step back and look at tax codes in general. What is a tax code? A tax code is essentially the system that the tax authority uses to determine how much tax should be taken from your income or pension. In the UK, tax codes are issued by HMRC (Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs). There are quite a few different tax codes that can be issued by HMRC, each with its own meaning. K is just one of them, and it has some unique characteristics.

The K Tax Code Explained

The K tax code is somewhat different from the others. Normally, tax codes tell your employer or pension provider how much tax-free income you’re entitled to in a tax year. But the K tax code flips this around. Instead of telling them how much income is tax-free, it tells them how much extra income you need to be taxed on.

This tax code usually comes into play when you have benefits (like a company car or healthcare) or state pension that’s worth more than your tax-free allowance. It’s also used when you owe tax from previous years.

So, how is it calculated? Well, the tax owed is added to your taxable income for the year, and this amount is what gets taxed. But there’s a limit: you won’t pay more than 50% of your income in tax as a result of a ‘K’ code.

Impact of ‘K’ Tax Code on Your Pay

Now you might be thinking, “OK, but how does this affect my paycheck?” Well, let’s break it down.

If you’re under a K tax code, you’ll see more tax deducted from your pay than under other tax codes. This is because the value of your benefits or underpaid tax is taken into account when calculating your tax liability.

To illustrate, let’s consider a hypothetical scenario. Let’s say you have a company car worth £17,750 and your tax-free allowance is £12,750. In this case, you’re £5,000 over your tax-free allowance. This amount is taxed, and the tax is taken from your pay.

What to Do If You’re on a K Tax Code

Stumbled upon a K tax code on your payslip? Don’t panic! The first thing to do is to check it’s correct. Tax codes can sometimes be wrong, and you could end up paying more or less tax than you should. You can do this by using the tax payment service provided by HMRC or by contacting them directly.

If you’re certain that your tax code is wrong, contact HMRC as soon as you can. They’ll correct it and notify your employer or pension provider to adjust your tax deductions.

Conclusion

Understanding your tax code, especially if you’ve got the ‘K’ tax code, is crucial to ensuring you’re not overpaying (or underpaying) your taxes. Always check your tax code, understand what it means, and take action if you think it’s incorrect.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does a ‘K’ tax code mean? A ‘K’ tax code means you have income that isn’t being taxed another way and it’s worth more than your tax-free allowance.

Will a ‘K’ tax code make me pay more tax? Yes, a ‘K’ tax code usually results in more tax being deducted from your pay or pension.

What should I do if I think my ‘K’ tax code is wrong? If you believe your tax code is incorrect, you should contact HMRC. They can help you understand your code and correct it if necessary.

[wokeplusme]

Is Covid-19 still around?

Here is Goggle's answer.

Although vaccinations, treatments, and prior immunity make COVID much less dangerous for most people, there are still those who remain vulnerable, including older people and other high-risk individuals.

Remember early in the pandemic, people were more likely to die from COVID-19 than recover, but that trend has now reversed. Here are some of the factors that are driving the switch:

1. Better access to and improved vaccines as well as improved access to care.

2. A phenomenon called mortality displacement, in which an infectious disease outbreak temporarily increases death rates in a population and is followed by a period of lower mortality rates; (not sure what this really means, got the feeling it has something to do with rose coloured glasses) and

3. A hybrid immunity—stronger immune protection among those infected after vaccination—is also playing a role.

Latest COVID-19 numbers for Ontario Canada, its probably way worse were you are.

( June 13, 2023)

Weekly Cases 2742 - Deaths 51

So again is covid-19 still around?

For Canada, overall outbreak incidences have decreased in all outbreak settings since March 2023, with fluctuations in different setting types over time. There continues to be variations in COVID-19 trends across provinces, territories and the USA.

OK lets go at this a different way, IS there still a Pandemic?

So, when is a pandemic “over,” and who decides? The answer to that question depends on who you’re asking. U.S. and Canadian healthcare providers often look to the World Health Organization (WHO) for determinations like that.

So, what does the WHO think about COVID-19? Well, the WHO still considers COVID-19 to be a pandemic. Much as we would like to lose the term Pandemic it is still around. As you might imagine, it’s hard to know when exactly a pandemic is over Why, because all the epidemiological data is not in a central location.

IS Covid-19 STILL AROUND???

YES, COVID-19 IS STILL HERE we just don’t see it anymore.

Since we no longer track the virus and report on infections and deaths. We are emulating ostriches and burying our heads in the sand. I don’t think it works for the ostriches I’m sure it won’t work for us.

IS Covid-19 still a killer?

YES, were just keeping it a secret.

 What’s my best protection from Covid-19?

Wear a well-fitting respirator or mask.

It's recommend that you wear a mask in public indoor settings. You should feel free to wear a mask even if it's not required in your community or setting. It's especially important to wear a mask if you're at risk of more severe outcomes.  Apr 14, 2023

So is COVID-19 gone, NO we just stopped reporting and keeping track of the Virus

We are however better protected and vulnerable people are taking precautions.

While the death rate has dropped significantly from its peak in January 2021 — when more than 102,000 people died in a single week — thousands of people still die of COVID-19 every week. At least, they did when we were still reporting COVID-19 deaths.

Covid-19  will never disappear because it's now endemic like versions of the flu.

Stay Safe

[andrewkevin018]

A thousand years have already passed since I woke up from my dream, and my thin robe has been scattered by the harsh wind.

For many small employers, offering business health insurance plans to employees can be a real challenge. This is specifically confirmed when they feel pressured to compete with bigger rivals in their industry that can offer higher wages and even more powerful employee benefits packages.

If this is the case for your community, you are not alone. Research discovers that the smaller the organization, the less likely employees are to receive employer-provided health benefits.

What is small group health insurance?

Small group health insurance is exactly what it says like a medical insurance plan that small employers can collectively offer to all their workers. These coverage options are specifically designed for small communities and startups looking to attract and retain top skills so that they can reasonably compete with larger companies.

To qualify for a small group health insurance plan, you must:

Have between 2 and 50 full-time workers

Depending on the state, employers with one worker or as many as 100 may also qualify

Pay a part of your workers’ premiums

Ensure you complete the minimum participation conditions set forth by the insurance company

Most insurance companies need at least 75% of your employees to be enrolled in the policy.

What does a small group health insurance plan cover?

While every kind of plan is different, small group plans comply with the Affordable Care Act’s (ACA) health coverage requirement. That suggests they must fit into one of the four metal levels of coverage (bronze, silver, gold, or platinum) and cover the ACA’s essential health benefits.

This includes ten major health benefits:

Hospitalization

Ambulatory services

Including visits to doctors and other healthcare professionals and outpatient hospital care

Emergency services

Maternity and newborn care

Services to treat mental health disorders and problems with substance abuse

Prescription drugs

Lab tests

Preventive services

Pediatric services for children, including dental and vision care

Rehabilitative and “habilitative” services

Small group health plans won’t include any kind of coverage for vision or dental care for grown-ups. If this is something your workers value, these are often offered as benefit riders that you can add to your group plan for an extra fee.

How do I enroll in a small group health insurance plan?

There are a few additional ways you can purchase a small group health insurance plan:-

Directly from an insurance company

Through a broker, licensed agent, or personal exchange

The Small Business Health Options Program (SHOP), also understood as SHOP insurance

If you have more irregular than 25 workers, purchasing a plan through SHOP has a special perk. You may be able to qualify for the small business healthcare tax credit, which can help you pay for your contributions to health insurance premiums.

When can I enroll in a small group health insurance plan?

Unlike personal insurance for individuals and family health insurance plans, there’s no set open enrollment period for group health insurance plans demanding when you require to register. That suggests you’re free to start a plan whenever you’re ready to sign up for one.

[weirdmageddon]

i’m thinking again about this article, read it if you havent

it concisely puts into words what ive been lowkey aggravated about online as a psych major and as someone diagnosed with ASD (and subsumed ADHD)

Social media incentivises reductive or sweeping statements, meaning that these kinds of distinctions often get flattened by the way we talk about mental health and neurodivergence online. Given that its platforms are mostly limited to 60 second videos, 10-slide infographics, or 280 character microblogs, it rarely provides the space necessary to tackle these topics with detail or nuance.

this is so important to recognize. i hate that i have to ask myself “does this person really neurochemically have adhd like me or did they self-dx because they relate to some generalized symptoms they saw on a ‘you may have adhd if x’ post”? if someone told they they had adhd 5 years ago online i would have believed them but now i can’t be sure if they actually have adhd like neurochemically or if they saw something online they related to. and i understand why people self-diagnose, our healthcare system is fucked and systemic racism and sexism still exist, but me and my mom (who works as a nurse in a psychiatric clinic and sees the entire DSM in her workplace every day) believe it’s gotten way out of hand to the point of being detrimental to everyone involved.

for me my disorder is a structural and connectivity difference during gestation which begets divergent thinking and neurochemical imbalances. (ADHD is almost always comorbid with ASD. in fact when i was diagnosed with ASD it was during the DSM-IV where it was dictated that a diagnosis of ADHD not be given along with a diagnosis of ASD because it’s subsumed into it, but DSM-V allows dual diagnosis now.) for me it’s purely nature but i think for a lot of others it’s a question of nurture.

“I think it's great to be able to relate to people and find a community based on your traumas and how fucked up and maldapted you feel to society,” says P.E. The issue is, however, that these overly-pathologised views of mental health and neurodivergence usually invite us to situate the root of the problem firmly within ourselves, and as fixed parts of our identity. “If more and more of us all feel so maladaptive to the point that we require medication, then perhaps we can all collectively realise that something larger is going on that does not have to do with the chemical composition of our brains. I think we need to realise that it's something larger than that.”

we shouldnt be so quick to turn everything into a diagnosis. if you dont actually have the neurochemical imbalances of ADHD, stimulants can fuck you up while they help me to do just basic tasks and leap over executive hurdles that other people have no problem doing without them because my brain is wired differently from the start.

i posted this thread on twitter and someone replied, “i managed to skim it, i wish i had the attention span to read it in full. Very frustrating to see tik toks that have almost a million likes tell people that their behavior is a result of trauma while knowing that its impossible to undo the damage the tik tok has done”

and let me tell you i literally fucking hate tiktok. i’ll read this headline “people with OCD are finding community and support on tiktok” and be oh good for them but the thing with tiktok is like

it’s all about image. it’s focused on image. so what you’re going to get is people all dolled up in clothing and fashion and whatever with some bland ass music playing to some text on the screen and some kid sitting there silently running their fingers through their hair and pointing to the text with an air of sanctimoniousness about it. the use pathology as a topic for visual clout.. it’s not taken as seriously or as in as much nuance as it should. the focus isn’t fully there. it feels almost disrespectful to me.

im not kidding when i say tiktok has regressed our society and not to sound like a boomer but it literally was not like this before tiktok. tumblr had issues with romanticizing depression which was bad but it smoothed itself out because it was in writing and people weren’t pulled away by how someone looked so they could successfuly counter it. but now? i’ve never seen the talk about diagnoses so grossly oversimplified as they are right now especially on twitter too and it makes me feel like my real issues and the issues of other people with ASD and ADHD will become disgustingly trivialized like a game of telephone if this keeps up because of the association with these stupid fucking kids who think having diagnoses makes you “cool”. autism is cool in some aspects—i wouldn’t be me without it—but horrible in others (cant focus on what people are saying because all i can focus on is my ability to maintain eye contact, thinking im crazy for most things because no one else seems to notice or struggle with it, oversensitivity to sensory stimuli, being a picky eater because i have such an aversion to many textures and flavors and being made fun of for it and i feel horrible and disrespectful like i might come across as xenophobic for it if its with foods im not used to from other cultures, i can’t become friends with anyone if they dont share my interests, i don’t know i’m feeling emotion unless there’s a physiological reaction i can perceive. all of these things i hate about myself and are just generally unnecessary obstacles), there is nothing cool about living with ADHD (and im not saying this as to how i can benefit others. i mean i literally cant do the things i want to because of executive dysfunction, i dont process shit that was just said to me which is frustrating and embarassing for me, my mom gets fed up with having to tell me the same thing over and over or she thinks i’m lying that i didnt hear what she said to avoid doing something when i genuinely didn’t even process she said it), there is nothing cool about living with anxiety. but none of them, NONE of them should EVER be used as an excuse to not take responsibility for one’s actions or be used to appear more meek. this extends beyond ASD, ADHD, and anxiety btw im also talking about bipolar, cluster Bs, dissociative disorders, etc. these may serve as explanations for why behavior is the way it is but never an excuse. i can’t tell you how fucking tired i am of people using their hyperfixations as an excuse as to why they cant stop watching racist youtubers. literally as someone with autism and adhd and hyperfixations of my own if you have basic human morality you’ll feel guilt every time you interact with it so it will be aversive conditioning until you stop altogether or if you prevent yourself from watching it the hyperfixation will fade fast. it’s gotten out of control.

the worst offenders are for the most part teens who are Going Thru It and want to find an identity and answers. the teenage stage of life is the perfect recipe for all of this to coalesce and it’s no wonder we’re seeing all these serious mental health disorders on 13-16 year old’s carrds like bpd when you typically can’t even get diagnosed with personality disorders until you’re 18 because teenager’s personalities are still developing and clinicians are hesitant to give a diagnosis until then. knowing you have complex ptsd of some kind is one thing but treating it as a badge of honor to tote around to appear special because all the cool kids have it isn’t it and it further adds to the stigma of bpd as just being annoying attention seeking teenagers which bars the people who need help from getting it. pretty much every teenager has mood swings and emotional issues and image issues but those alone don’t create the diagnosis of a personality disorder which is why clinicians typically like to wait until the patient is an adult to diagnose them. the same thing with self dx’d psychotic and dissociative disorders too, this thread really tells it how it is.

so many teens. aren’t. doing. necessary. research. i’m talking like scientific articles on journal databases type of research. research that takes genuine self-reflection as to how your experiences align with formal diagnostic criteria for a year or two at least. and teens are being indirectly influenced by social and peer pressures to diagnose themself with something. don’t use social media like tiktok or twitter or tumblr as a means to diagnose yourself. it’s okay not to have something, in fact it’s a privilege. not everything needs a diagnosis.

it also makes me feel like there’s less of a community to turn to i can trust to know what i’m going through and what i experience in the same way as me and i know i’m not the only one feeling this. it’s not “everyone has a little ADHD”, it probably means there’s a societal problem and we’re being pushed beyond the limits of what human brains are able to effectively handle. and we also need to stop treating mental disorders as a way to appear unique and cool and immune to criticism and/or as a crutch to fall back on when we fuck up.

[jolyneswife-anime-reviews]

Candy Candy anime review + a little character analysis

Spoilers for Candy Candy and tw for bullying, alcoholism, and family issues

Genre: Romance, drama/tragedy, historical

Where I watched it: http://www.stb.dircon.co.uk/CandyGranchester/ (they’re in Italian though)

Characterisation: 8.5/10 (One of the strongest points of the series is the characters. There are a wide variety of them, all with distinct and developed personalities. As Candy goes through life, she meets many different people, and some become more important than others- we get to know these people through her eyes, and watch them grow as she does. The cast is colourful and they all add something to the story which makes it more compelling. Without a doubt, the character designed with the most care was Candy- she’s bold and cheerful, rejecting the “delicate” ideas of femininity imposed by 20th century American society, and enjoying more masculine things, like climbing trees. Most of all, Candy’s tough and determined- she always stands up for what’s right and stubbornly does things her way, even when there are risks involved- throughout the anime, it becomes clear that she doesn’t fear scrapes or confrontation if it means brining justice or helping a friend. Despite her having wilful side, Candy is also very caring and selfless- she regularly puts those she loves before herself, even when it hurts, and she conceals the pain with a smile. Kindness and giving a helping hand are such central parts to her character that her entire ambition of being a nurse is based off of them, as is the way she puts it into practice. After losing her job, Candy starts working at the Happy Clinic, despite knowing that the doctor there is poor and can’t pay her a salary, and, in doing so, she provides poor children with healthcare. Alongside this, Candy is also given the princess treatment, and presented as vulnerable and hesitant. She’s such a nuanced character, because all these elements fit together to create someone who is messy, yet bright and full of hope, someone who every viewer will like and whose story they’ll become invested in. Two other instances where characterisation  is used particularly well are the development of Candy’s best friend, Annie Brighton, and her second love interest, Terry Grandchester. Annie starts off as a timid girl. After being adopted by a rich couple, she’s told to forget about her past at Pony’s home and her life as an orphan, and she obeys, cutting off contact with Candy and refusing to speak to her when they are reunited at boarding school years later. However, Annie then learns that her past isn’t something she needs to hide or be ashamed of, and her life at Pony’s home, as well as her friendship with Candy, isn’t something she can just erase, so she starts being herself and gradually becomes stronger, learning to stick up for herself when she’s bullied and not run away from difficult situations. Even though Annie wasn’t my favourite character, it was nice seeing her grow stronger and learn to accept herself despite the judgement she might have received. On the other hand, Terry is presented as the stereotypical bad boy when we first encounter him- he talks back to nuns, breaks school rules, gets into fights, smokes, and most of the girls have a crush on him. However, as he and Candy grow closer and he opens up, it becomes clear that he is a caring and loyal person who values those close to him, despite struggling to show it. The ultimate proof of this is him leaving the school so Candy wouldn’t be forced to. As he grows closer to Candy, he also relaxes a bit- he stops getting drunk and picking fights as he has someone who can help him now. Terry is also portrayed as vulnerable on occasion, which is a nice change from the usual tough and emotionless men in some anime. This is seen several times when it comes to his family issues, particularly his mother, who never truly cared about him, and when he’s forced to leave Candy, so he falls into despair. Overall, he’s a complex character with a well developed backstory and many nuances.)

Setting: 8.5/10 (As Candy moves around a lot, there is no “fixed,” setting, but rather a series of settings depending on the period of her life, all of which work well for that period and cater to it flawlessly. From the humble, yet comforting design of Pony’s home which perfectly illustrated the life Candy led there, to the grand mansions of the wealthy families she encounters later and the prestigious design of the boarding school she is sent to, the setting always perfectly matched and catered to that period in her life, with different times being associated to different settings. Some settings also present challenges, like the mansion Candy lives in when she’s finally adopted by Anthony Brown’s family. Because of her newly elevated status, she is expected to adapt and behave “like a lady” (which she still refuses to do, causing great friction between her and the mistress of the house))

Art style: 7.5/10 (The art style is a very typical one for older anime- I definitely like it, and most settings and characters are drawn with suitable pallets and a good level of detail to their character design. One thing that is definitely worth mentioning about the character design is the women’s clothes, which were a factor in spreading and popularising Lolita fashions- that type of dress is still very much appreciated today. There are some episodes where the quality of the animations isn’t great, and some side characters do not have much effort put in their design.)

Plot: 8/10 (Candy Candy has a very engaging plot- it’s dramatic and combines tragedy and romance with fighting to find your place in the world. The plot incorporates all these different elements by telling the story of Candy’s life from childhood to when she’s a young woman, with all her most significant experiences included, along with some relevant historical events in the background, like the outbreak of the first world war. The plot often has twists and is unpredictable, but it’s also full of filler arcs which have little to do with the main story and take away from the pace. I hated the ending, as it did not tie up all lose ends and felt unsatisfactory compared to the earlier build ups.)

Addictiveness: 7.5/10 (As aforementioned, the plot is engaging, unique and full of twists, and the changes in setting add a dynamic and adventurous thrill. The characters are also well developed and distinct, which makes the show reasonably addictive. However, the filler arcs sometimes take away from this by lasting a long time and contributing nothing to the main storyline, which means that, at certain points, it becomes easy to lose interest.)

Originality: 9/10 (The plot of the anime is a very unique one in my opinion- I haven’t seen anything like it. It combines several different genres and aspects of this girl’s life into one anime, and some of the subplots also add to that, such as when Candy is forced to travel away to work in Mexico, leaving her love behind. Candy herself is also quite distinct - she’s tough, determined and stubborn, but she also has a softer side to her, and longs to be treated like a princess.)

Comfort: 5/10 (Because this anime is synonymous with my late childhood and something I used to watch with my mother, it always brings me comfort. However, the tragedy element of the anime should not be taken lightly. Candy leads, all in all, a very difficult life full of misfortunes. As a baby, she’s left by her parents at an orphanage, and, when she’s older, she’s forced to part from her best friend, Annie, and later, the only family she ever knew when she’s adopted by a rich family. There, she has to endure constant alienation and bullying from every member of the family, and her love life is similarly full of highs and drastic lows. I hate to admit it, but the staircase scene with Terry Grandchester after the two realized they would have to part was the only anime scene to ever make me cry (I was properly sobbing too). However, there are also incredible highs after the lows, coming in the form of heartwarming romance scenes, wholesome family reunions, relaxed and funny scenes with Candy and her friends, or simply self discovery and improvement.)

Consistency: 6.5/10 ( The quality stays pretty consistent throughout the anime- there are some less enjoyable filler arcs, which don’t add much to the plot, but the only place the quality of the story really dips is at the end.)

Philosophy:  5/10 (As an anime, it’s not very deep or thought provoking, and there aren’t many lessons to learn from it, but there are some important ideas about trying to persevere in the face of grief and rebuilding your life, even when it feels like you’ve lost everything.)

The plot

Candy and Annie were left on the doorstep of an orphanage on a snowy day as babies, and found at the same time by the benevolent women who ran it. Ever since then, the two have been best friends and sisters, playing together every day, and deliberately putting people off of adopting them so that they could stay at the orphanage together. However, Annie is starting to really want parents, so when a rich couple offers to take her in (after Candy made a total spectacle of herself so they'd be put off) she accepts. Candy feels betrayed at first, but gradually comes to accept her friend's decision, and the two start writing letters to each other. However, one day, Candy receives one of these letters from Annie, and it says that they will be no longer able to communicate because her parents believe that, for her protection and to truly become their daughter, she needs to put her humble past behind her. Shortly after this happens, there's an offer from another wealthy family to adopt Candy, who accepts because their house is near Annie's. Right off the bat, the children of the family, Neal and Eliza, begin to pick on her and humiliate her. The mother makes it clear that she wasn't adopted as a daughter, but as a companion for Eliza. While Candy clashes heavily with the family, she soon makes friends with all the servants, who teach her a variety of things, and she makes an interesting discovery. Not too far from her new home is a mansion where 3 friendly guys live, and one of these, Anthony Brown, looks exactly like the "prince" she met one night when crying and alone. She soon becomes very good friends with all three, but what she feels for Anthony, with his soft, chivalrous ways and roses, evolves beyond simple friendship and puppy love. However, there are many obstacles to the two being happy together, and life can often bring about unfortunate tragedies when we least expect them. When that happens, Candy has no choice but to try to move on and rebuild her life.

Masterlist

[acti-veg]

hey acti! not a vegan question, but i really value your stances on other topics and wondered what your thoughts on this would be (if you have the space for it!) - was talking with my dad about how capitalism isnt working and that we should replace it with democratic socialism, and his main argument was that socialism has never been implemented without a tyrannical government because it cant be, that corruption/power imbalances is inherent to socialism because it wouldnt be like every single citizen of a country would be a part of the government, that there will always be a select few at the top who make the decisions. i said thats what we already have under capitalism, to which he said he still thinks he has the most freedom possible (under capitalism). sigh. i dont really know where to go with this conversation? like my dad isnt stupid, so i want to be able to have a real conversation with him where he can see my points and not just think 'socialism evil' because it's the propaganda he's been fed.

so, what /would/ life look like under democratic socialism? how would the average person impact things like legislation?

thanks for your time and all you do for the vegan movement!!

It's hard for me to really respond to an argument like this because the claims are so vague, if I were presented with it in person I'd be asking some key clarification quesitons, such as: What specific form of socialism are you criticising? What exactly are these power imbalances that are inherent in socialism? In what way is this a problem with socialism but not capitalism, given the massive disparity of wealth and power between the rich and the poor under oour current systems? In what way does capitalism provide him more freedom than socialism would? Just asking these questions alone will make some of this argument come undone because I think he is relying on a very vague idea of what socialism even is. The truth is that socialism is an umbrella term for many different political ideologies, and they would all look different in practice. I'll try to sum up what one possible version of democratic socialism may look like: Under a socialist model, the means of production would be co-operatively owned. This would mean that goods like cars would be developed and sold according to public need, not profit. Workers would be paid the full value of their labour, since the factory/offices would be owned by the workers. Alternatively, the means of production could be publicly owned, meaning that the profits from business are put back into the public sector, paying for universal basic income for the whole population regardless of employment status, as well as high quality healthcare for all, a robust social welfare system and access to well maintained critical infrastructure.

For-profit corporations would be abolished and the state would exist only as a regulator of public goods and services. This would mean that workers would no longer have to fear the spectre of automation, instead allowing it to free up our time to pursue our passions and be more engaged with politics at a local level. Government power would be decentralised, with day-to-day decisions instead falling to unions, co-operatives and local councils elected from a broad spectrum of the population, with consensus building and direct democracy playing far larger role in the decisions that will affect our daily lives.

Another significant advantage of the socialist model is that, since businesses would be run for the public good, and our environment also being a public good, products, services and homes would be built and managed far more sustainably. When the long-term interests of a community are being prioritised over private profits it is not just humans who benefit, but every other being who shares our world with us.

For many socialists, this sort of system would be a stop-gap, to ease the transition between a capitalist society and a post-capitalist one, while production and social values are not ready for free access and voluntary labour. Others predict that as a result of increasing automation, the need to seek employment as a condition for survival would gradually be abolished altogether, resulting in free access to economic output and public goods - which would be something closer to full communism.

In terms of how citizens impact legislation, so much of that depends on what specific version of socialism we opt for. We could have representative democracy (like we have now) where an elected official represents our interests in legislative decision-making. Alternatively we could have direct democracy, where citizens have time and resources to be educated on the issues and vote directly on them, likely making use of some sort of e-democracy system to make that logistically possible.

Keep in mind though that under socialism power is far more devolved, it is not supposed to be centralised at the top. Local councils (or something resembling them) would have far more power as opposed to a centralised national government, as would trade unions and co-operatives. These groups would have a say in the decisions which effect their local enterprise and community, so the citizens which make them up woul also have far more say in the day-to-day running of their own social, domestic and professional spaces. What we call ‘freedom’ under capitalism is really just the freedom to purchase and consume, and even that is highly dependent on making enough money to do so. The youngest generation increasingly can’t even own property - the most essential ‘freedom’ offered by capitalism. So many of us are just increasingly disenfranchised from any of the ‘benefits’ of being part of a capitalist society. In the US, the shining example of capitalism, even the most basic of all freedoms, to live, is restricted by wealth and the level of your health insurance. Is that really freedom?

How much say does the average worker actually have about how their workplace is run? How much say does a member of any western democracy have over the actual laws being passed which directly effect them? In how elections operate? How budgets are spent? How often their bins are collected, how funding is allocated to social programs, how many houses are built, how their environment is protected, how their roads, schools and hospitals are maintained? Under capitalism, freedom has to be purchased, and if you aren’t fortunate enough to have the requisite wealth to do so then you are shit out of luck.

[fatelesschild]

Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology 4: The Muscular System

A worryingly comprehensive and extremely unofficial guide to Gallifreyan and Time Lord/Lady Anatomy and Physiology, constructed with love and sweat.

This is a project that attempts to draw together everything we know about gallifreyan anatomy from every source available to place it in a valid biological system, like some Grey’s Anatomy textbook you didn’t know you needed.

The author of this has no affiliation with the BBC, and owns nothing but this lovely chocolate bar and good intentions. Nothing in this guide should be taken as de facto and everything should be free to be challenged and changed. I welcome any comments, questions, points of interest, or corrections - just aim at my ask/inbox.

Absolutely nothing in this guide constitutes professional medical advice. Always seek your human advice from a healthcare provider, and always seek your gallifreyan advice from a hospitaller on Gallifrey.

This is version 1.10.x See the main document or Tumblr masterpost for the latest version.

x Tumblr masterpost

x Main document with sources (Google Docs, not optimised for mobiles)

x Tumblr tag page with Q+As etc.

x Glossary

Key: [External link] [Guide link] [Glossary link]

The Muscular System

AKA Running would be hard without it.

Contains:

Context & Anatomy

Microbiology

Injury, Disease & Healing

Sex, Age & Regeneration

Summary

4.1 Context & Anatomy

Gallifreyans possess the same structure and almost the same number of muscles as humans (600~)

There’s obviously extra cardiac muscle owing to the second heart, and an extremely thin layer of voluntary muscle on blood vessels. There’s additional voluntary muscles acting as ‘valves’ for the hearts and some more voluntary muscles in the respiratory system.

The types are also the same, including voluntary and involuntary.

Gallifreyans have slightly more muscle strength and muscle stamina in general, but they’re not the Hulk. The difference is negligible.

4.2 Microbiology

Paging Dr. Strong

The construction of the gallifreyan muscle makes it pretty much indistinguishable from human muscle to the naked eye. The most basic way of describing it is that individual muscles are extremely tiny muscle fibres bundled together and wrapped like a snug bug in a rug in a connective tissue covering, to form compartments of bundles of muscle fibres like so:

Only under a microscope will the differences start to become obvious. Gallifreyans benefit from slightly denser muscle fibres and a stronger tendon, making it more difficult for severe ruptures or detachment to occur. They also have fuller bursa (tiny sacs of fluid between bones and soft tissues) which reduce friction by acting as cushions, meaning that they can sustain greater and more impacts to muscles without damage.

4.3 Injury, Disease & Healing

This is injury, disease and healing specific to the muscular system. For a wider explanation see the immune system.

4.3.1 Injury

The most common soft tissue injuries in gallifreyans are the same as us - muscles, tendons, and ligaments. Overzealous running followed by ‘oops *crash*’ can lead to sprains, strains, bruising, and other acute soft tissue injuries, although these are far less common in gallifreyans than in humans.

On the other hand, chronic muscle injuries emerge as a result of repeated impact (such as repeatedly trying to twist that stiff vector tracker on the console). The most common conditions are tendinitis (irritations/inflammation of a tendon) and bursitis (inflammation of the bursa). Again, their resilience means most gallifreyans will live out all their lives without experiencing these, but it's possible.

Owing to the denser nature of the bursa, if a gallifreyan does begin to suffer with bursitis, the swelling will be far more exaggerated and obvious, like a tennis ball on the end of the elbow. This makes it slightly more dangerous, as impact to the area can cause the bursa to, well … burst, leading to bleeding/bruising and possible infection of the surrounding areas, but their immune system can take care of that.

4.3.2 Disease

Adult gallifreyans have a much, MUCH lower risk of developing or contracting muscle diseases, such as polymyositis and dermatomyositis. As the gallifreyan’s incarnation ages they will become more susceptible to them.

One definite advantage of being a gallifreyan is that during exercise they won’t experience lactic acid build-ups, simply because their system is too good at creating energy and neutralising excess acids. They can get stitches, however.

4.3.3 Healing

Estimated full healing time for a muscle injury are as follows*:

*These are approximate and entirely dependent on the type of muscle injury and where it is. Some extremely generalised classifications:

Minor eg. mild strain

Moderate eg. severe strain with no/partial ruptures

Major eg. muscle and tendon ruptures requiring reattachment/surgical intervention

4.4 Sex, Age & Regeneration

4.4.1 Sex

This is sex specific to the muscular system. For a wider explanation, see the basics main section.

Depending on the ratio of hormones, the muscular structure of the gallifreyan conforms to a masculine or feminine muscular structure and microbiology. An incarnation can have mixed-sex muscular structure attributes depending on the ratio of hormones.

More male hormones results in muscles being faster and having a higher power output. More female hormones results in more resistance to fatigue and quicker recovery time.

4.4.2 Age

This is age specific to the muscular system. For a wider explanation, see the basics main section.

Aged 0-40, children are substantially weaker than adults, with masculine and feminine muscles possessing exactly the same ability. Once they hit 40, things start to ramp up. Adults have roughly the same strength as their human counterparts, just slightly elevated. Elders have reduced strength, which degrades as the years roll by with the loss of proteostasis.

4.4.3 Regeneration

This is regeneration specific to the muscular system. For a wider explanation, see the regenerative system (link to be added) main section.

As with all regenerations, there is a risk of regenerating with more of or without certain muscles, and also regenerating with a particular weakness or particular strength in certain muscles. Initial muscle strength of an incarnation is determined by the four regeneration factors (link to be added).

In the 6-8 week post-regeneration ‘moulding’ phase, muscles can experience sudden and powerful bursts of strength which can seem superhuman. Conversely, if suffering from post-regenerative trauma, muscles can also become suddenly weak, leading to collapse. In the worst cases, the gallifreyan can suffer acute heart/s failure and cardiac arrest through the cardiac muscles’ sudden inability to adequately pump blood.

4.5 Summary

The gallifreyan muscular system is essentially the same as humans, with a few enhancements.

Injuries common to humans are also common to gallifreyans, though not as much as us (sprain, strains, and tears).

Muscles differ between the sexes - more male hormones result in muscles being faster with a higher power output, while female muscles will be more resistant to fatigue and have a quicker recovery time.

Newly regenerated gallifreyans may experience sudden bursts of strength or weakness.

Rejected evidence

Both rejected for hierarchy reasons and given a much better reasoning because ... like ... seriously?

‘Gallifreyans have incredible strength for their size’

‘Most humans are stronger than the average Gallifreyan’ (unknown source)

Curious about something? Need some creative gallifreyan biology-related advice? Wanna say hi? Ask away!

[n7punk]

Let’s Get Physical Fic Notes

I know it’s a one-shot but hear me out: I have a lot of feelings, so have some short meta

In Modern Etheria, both healthcare and education are a lot cheaper than they are IRL (in my country, at least). Foster kids get free tuition, but there is also need-based aid they both qualify for. Catra is working a part-time tutoring job while Adora works part-time at a local green grocers. Their aid provides them with a stiped for textbooks and school supplies each semester, as well as the lowest-level meal plan for free, but despite them having the opportunity to live on campus for free, they pay for an apartment so they can live together and Adora’s transition/legal gender isn’t an issue with the dorms. The aid does partially pay for their rent, at least.

The medical parts of transitioning are fairly inexpensive thanks to Etheria’s healthcare, so while Adora can easily afford her hormones, blockers, bloodwork, etc, the more cosmetic side of it like clothing, hair removal, etc is what really costs them. That is why they had to rearrange the way they were spending money so they could have their own place while still allowing Adora to make the changes she needed.

Adora is terrified of needles. Every time she needs bloodwork done or anything else, Catra goes with her and holds her free hand for it. She also helps her walk out afterwards because she gets a bit woozy. When they aren’t in the doctors office Catra calls Adora a baby, but during and immediately after an appointment Catra just supports her and tells her how well she is doing/did. There were stages to the conversation when Adora decided to do HRT, and one of the stages was “I fully support you on this, but there Will be needles, Adora”.

Catra’s middle school experience mirrors mine in the sense of “I know I’m a lesbian but...” only my conflict was mistaking gender-envy for men as attraction.

Homophobia and transphobia are something that Have Existed in-universe, but are being moved past and looked at as “old mindsets”. Shadow has that mindset though, and she weaponized it.

They absolutely could afford to have two separate beds, but they would both be way shittier quality, and both of them were kind of like we could... you know..... get one Nicer bed........... we’ve already slept together for years...

Every morning they get up at the same time - which is to say, they leave the house together and ride the bus to campus based on the earliest class time they have between the two of them, but Adora gets up 40 minutes earlier to do a quick work out and get ready for the day, versus Catra who rolls out of bed ten minutes before they have to leave, throws on clothes, and eats some (low sugar, low grain) cereal.

The reason that Catra says Adora can’t get her pregnant is because she’s a magicat and technically a different species. Even if Adora was at full sperm count it would be impossible given their differing genetics.

This fic is a lot like what I ORIGINALLY planned On The Other Side to be - a few scenes of them pining before a kinda-accidental get together. I absolutely adore OTOS and I’m so proud of how it came out, but I couldn’t do a long-form fic on this topic because the gender issues would go from “cathartic” to “painful” for me (though that isn’t to say I won’t do a long-form fic with Trans Adora, transphobia and her transition just wouldn’t be part of that story, because queer guilt is Rough).

At the moment this is planned to be a one-shot, but if I ever get an Urge to write a stand-alone fic with trans Adora I might come back and add another chapter or change this fic to the start of a series including both fics.

Initially there was going to be flashback scenes to both of them coming out, but I really didn’t want to include Adora’s deadname in this because that would pull me out of the catharsis, so I just mentioned how it went during internal dialogue throughout the fic. 

Bow is a trans man in this as well (like in OTOS), though that is only briefly touched on/alluded to. Adora came out to Catra at the end of senior year, Bow at the beginning of sophomore year, and then Glimmer like a week later. Glimmer was a little harder for Adora to psych up to than Bow because she can’t Get It the way Bow can, but Adora knew she would be accepting, it’s just still hard to do even when you know someone is going to be kind about it. She slowly meets the rest of the members of the princess alliance throughout sophomore and junior year, forming a larger support network.

The title is a reference to how they have every part of relationship already aside from calling it that, and the physical aspects. Plus, I hate the g!p tag with a passion because it’s usually used for fics that are super fetishistic so the acronym for the title (lgp) is kind of meant to mock that.

[what-even-is-thiss]

In light of these horrifying new rules I wanna talk about my experience with trans healthcare in an environment where both the law and company policy made my healthcare provider technically not discriminate against me.

I’m gonna talk about medical stuff and genitals and blood here so you’ve been warned.

I tried to figure out how to get hormone therapy from my insurance. I started with my therapist. She didn’t know. I went to my primary physician. He told me to talk to my therapist. I eventually had to tell him three times to talk to his manager who gave him a paper with the number and address for the gender clinic on it.

The gender clinic that my insurance covers is a four hour drive from my house. It is also completely overbooked all the time because it is one of only three gender clinics in the entire state of California and the only one covered by my insurance. That wouldn’t make a huge difference anyways because all three of them are a similar distance from where I live.

So I have to get telemedicine appointments with a gender therapist and an endocrinologist specially trained for dealing with trans patients. My pharmacy doesn’t carry testosterone gel and I have to wait for it to get in. Finally, after this whole process took me almost four months, I got on testosterone. End of story, right? Just do regular blood tests and continue with telemedicine right? Happily ever after? Wrong.

After a while, without my consent, my insurance changed my endocrinologist to a local one and I was forced to have an in-person appointment with her or else they weren’t going to refill my testosterone prescription. So I go to the appointment. I take the blood test (ignoring the nurses that misgender me and pronounce my name wrong) and I am so polite. I just want to go home.

And... the endocrinologist tells me that she won’t refill my prescription unless I get a pap smear. What’s a pap smear you may ask? It’s a test for cervical cancer. A cancer caused by a virus that I’ve been properly vaccinated for on a body part that I plan to get removed eventually. The way it works is that they prop the vagina open and scrape some cells off of the cervix. The body part that prevents things from entering the uterus.

Okay, I think. Fine. Body part that sometimes gives me dysphoria, super invasive procedure, kind of painful, but whatever. Millions of people get this done every year. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to suck. But I’ll get my testosterone prescription and prove to them that I don’t have cancer.

So I request a male gynecologist because in my personal experience male doctors misgender me less often. They give me a female gynecologist anyways. Her and the nurses misgender me through the entire process and use my deadname even when I ask them to stop. They question me several times about my period even after I tell them several times that I don’t have one anymore because I’m on testosterone. The whole process was so upsetting that I refused other optional tests they offered me, even ones I thought I would like to know about, because I just wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible.

I don’t have cervical cancer. Whoop de do. My endocrinologist gives me another nine months of testosterone refills. Hooray.

I still every three to nine months have to email and bother my endocrinologist a lot to get more refills. Sometimes she sets an ultimatum. I’ve gotta get this or that test done, even if I don’t need it. Or I’ve gotta see her in person or give her a detailed report on how I’m doing. And I do it. Because I need testosterone. The idea of being forced off of it scares me more than death. And getting another endocrinologist doesn’t work. Because most of them in my area do very similar things. And I understand blood tests. I get that. But even during checkups that aren’t related to trans healthcare I’m still misgendered and deadnamed even though my new name and gender identity is in the system. Even though they put patents preferred pronouns on their charts. Even when I have visible stubble on my face.

My primary physician is the only person who never does this to me and he’s actually put in the effort to take basic training surrounding trans patients but nobody else that treats me has. And why don’t I file a complaint? Well, who else is going to hold my prescriptions hostage? I have no idea and historically law enforcement of every kind isn’t on trans people’s side. And I’m broke! I need my dad’s insurance to get my T and asthma control inhalers. I’d possibly die without them. I can’t jeopardize any of that. So I have to let them push me around.

This is my experience with a good insurance company in the state of California. A state that has mandated trans healthcare be covered for a while. What is trans healthcare gonna look like after doctors are allowed to legally discriminate against transgender patients when this is what our healthcare looks like under the most ideal of circumstances in this country?

[comrade-meow]

Bad data generates bad research; bad research generates bad treatments; bad treatments generate bad outcomes. The physiological differences between males and females are vast, and stamp their mark on every organ of the human body, not just the genitals and gonads. Ignoring these differences will muddle our data, blur our understanding of physiology, and hinder the discovery of new treatments for diseases. Females are much more likely than males to have autoimmune disorders. Males are more likely than females to develop Parkinson’s disease. Males and females may present with different symptoms preceding a heart attack. Males and females metabolize drugs differently. Blatantly ignoring sex as a variable hobbles the process of scientific inquiry and limits the types of questions that researchers will ask, thereby limiting the answers they get.

About this story: last November I came across some anonymous tweets from a person claiming to be a medical student at an American university where professors were teaching that sex is a social construct. I decided to try to find out if these claims were real, and I contacted the Twitter user, striking up a conversation with “C”. We agreed to meet on a Zoom call, and that C would show me C’s student ID, with their name and the name of the school covered, and that we would then do a written interview. C’s desire for strict anonymity is well founded in my eyes, due to the damage that could be inflicted on C’s career prospects if they were caught speaking to a publication about the ideological lies being peddled and the culture of fear at their institution.

On our thirty minute Zoom call, I met a highly intelligent, critical-minded, and determined young person who was expressing deep concern over the ways that gender identity ideology is distorting the teaching of medicine and the repercussions this may lead to in our next generation of doctors.

C held up their ID so I could see their picture on what was clearly a medical school ID. C told me their school can be categorized as “top tier.”

The irony of using “they/them” pronouns for a single person is not lost on me. I find it interesting that due to the tyranny of gender ideology, I must adhere to one of their tenets and accept the use of the plural pronoun for a single person whose sex I know. But the fact that I have to do this is because any information about C could potentially be enough to raise suspicion (just read their words to understand the climate of intimidation they witness in class everyday), and the knowledge of an individual’s sex is still a crucial identifying feature, no matter what the gender ideologues want us to believe.

C and I agreed that I would offer people on Twitter an opportunity to pose their questions directly and that C would respond in written form. Out of the many responses, the medical student chose what they considered some of the most representative and important of the questions. These are their answers below, beginning with a short message they wanted me to share.

-Sasha White

Thank you, Sasha, for having offered me this valuable opportunity to answer these questions. Before we start, I would like to clarify my stance on basic issues regarding sex and gender identity, so that people can keep these in mind while reading.

Biological sex is not a social construct – male and female are distinct material realities which have significant implications for medical and surgical treatment of many different conditions. These physiological differences are relevant on the levels of clinical practice, research, and policy, and absolutely must be acknowledged in order for physicians to best treat their patients. All patients should be treated with compassion, respect, and high-quality medical care, regardless of their professed gender identity. I remain agnostic as to what it truly means to have a “gender identity”, but will respect the wishes of my future patients in regards to their social presentation and pronouns. I believe that dysphoric adults should be able to pursue transition. Physicians should be aware of relevant aspects of trans healthcare, including hormone therapy and surgery, so that they can better advise trans patients on how medical treatments may impact their gender-related care, or vice versa. It is possible and desirable for us to have a healthcare system which is inclusive and respectful of transgender patients, in a way which does not pretend that biology is arbitrary or merely a social construct. Despite my liberal beliefs, the loudest voices at my institution would falsely accuse me of blowing transphobic dog-whistles, hence my anonymity. This hostile climate is corrosive to an inquiry mindset and critical thinking, and will ultimately be a disservice to the scientific community and to future patients, trans and otherwise.

IDD64 @IDD64 asks: “What happened to “nobody’s saying sex isn’t real”?”

This is actually what compelled me to speak out about this practice in the first place. Well-intentioned non-medical people often assume that medical schools are teaching something like, “Gender identity can be fluid and varied, but biological sex is real, binary, and relevant in medical contexts.” This idea is around five years out of date in the most progressive of institutions. I have been told multiple times in several classes that biological sex is a social construct – not just gender. Granted, I can speak only for my institution, but this change has been frustrating and disturbing to witness.

Robert Woolley @RandomlyBob asks: “Do any of the required textbooks also avoid using those words? If not, might you ask those professors if they think the books are either inaccurate or offensive?”

Our curriculum is constantly subject to revision. Around two-thirds of our written materials have been updated with this new language. For the one-third that has remained out-of-date, our class has received multiple apologetic, itemized emails from course instructors in which they provide corrections, beg for forgiveness and patience, and avow to “do better”. In class, we have been given multiple histories in which the patient’s sex has been deleted, even for cases involving disorders which can manifest differently between the sexes. The words “female” and “male” are being erased and replaced.

Born a space baby @ggynoid asks: “What’s the dynamic like for class participation? Do people start with pronouns? Do people tend to agree, disagree? What’s the female-male ratio in the class typically on these sort[s] of classes?”

When school first began, we were heavily encouraged to include pronouns in our Zoom names and email signatures; around 70-80% of the class did so. Most students and professors would start off verbal introductions with their name and pronouns, though that has subsided since we all have grown to know each other.

A vocal minority of students are loudly in favor of the most extreme aspects of gender ideology, while the majority seem to be vaguely supportive in a nonspecific way. I think that this comes from a mixture of naive goodwill and fear – they are trying to be good allies, and this is the only way they know how. Additionally, it is heavily implied that to ask critical questions, even in a way which is ultimately patient-centered and supportive, is perpetuating bigotry, so they just nod along. A silent minority seems to be secretly skeptical. I have met four or five students who have disclosed to me in private conversation that they disagree with one or more aspects of this dogma but they are hesitant to come forward in group settings. I am sure that more exist, but they are hard to find. None of these people have been transphobic.

The female-male ratio is approximately equal, with slightly more females than males in my class.

David Poole @MrDPoole asks: “Do you think the people telling you these things actually believe it or are they being forced to do it?”

I think that a very small minority of our professors actually believe that male and female bodies are interchangeable with the exception of genitalia and gonads. There are definitely more woke students than woke professors, and the most radical of students are far more radical than the wokest professor. Most of these professors are very fearful of saying the wrong thing, so they delicately couch their language by referring to “XX and XY people” or other such euphemisms, even though that can lead to inaccuracies.

The social consequences for misspeaking are highly magnified, especially when most classes are delivered online (due to the pandemic). Our class has been quietly accused of having a mean streak in regards to social justice. We have had petitions circulated (drafted by few, signed by many) to name, shame, and “hold accountable” various lecturers who used the “wrong” language, to the point of humiliation. One professor broke down crying after a genetics lecture which relied heavily on the use of “male” and “female” by necessity. (Though the lecture also made ample space to talk about transgender and non-binary individuals, this was not enough to appease the critics.) Another professor referred to “pregnant women” rather than “pregnant people” and spent a very uncomfortable few minutes after class abjectly apologizing for having caused offense “by implying that only women can get pregnant”. It was incredibly disturbing to see, for multiple reasons. One, this is based on bad science and zealotry that has the potential to harm patients. Two, the magnitude of the “crime” pales in comparison to the magnitude of the outcry. Three, it is a total inversion of the expected social order to see these physicians —some of whom are literally leading scholars in their field— be reduced to fearful puddles if a student so much as looks at them askance. Keep in mind that these professors are extremely liberal, compassionate, and well-meaning, yet they are turned upon with such venom and verve by the people who they are trying to please.

Chopper @RodeoChopper asks: How are cases presented? Normally the first line is “This is a such and such year old (male/female) with a past medical history significant for…”

Here are some examples of formats I have seen in our coursework:

“This is a 43-year-old woman with ovaries, presenting with …”

“A 3-year-old child, assigned male at birth, not assigned gender as of yet by parents, presenting with …”

“This patient is a 7-year-old child, gendered as a boy by his parents, who …”

“57-year-old woman with testes, here with …”

“A 16-year-old patient (gender non-binary, pronouns they/them) …”

“A 32-year-old woman (she/her/hers) …”

“A 16-year-old patient presents with complaints of …”

Of the myriad problems with this structure, the most concerning is that most of these cases do not accurately identify the sex of the patient, which is crucial in being able to weigh the likelihood of potential diagnoses and treatments. A person’s pronouns are not relevant when deciding to prescribe a particular antibiotic, and at which dose. Additionally, I find it somewhat irritating to be expected to state the obvious for things that are the default of the human experience. We do not say, “This is a 42-year-old woman with both her arms and legs”, although there are certainly women in this world who are missing one or more of their limbs.

MaryWrath @WrathMary asks: “So how are reproductively different bodies described then? How are cardiac arrest and stroke symptoms described, explained and taught as we know now they present differently across the two sexes? There are clearly two bodies in our species so how are the professors acknowledging?”

Organs are referred to by their actual names – penis, testes, vagina, ovaries, breasts. However, referring to patients as male or female is strictly taboo. If there are relevant but subtle sex-specific differences, then they will often be downplayed or ignored altogether. As an example, we were told that the higher risk of heart attacks in men was due only to the presence of testosterone, and not for any other reason, which is patently false. When the differences are utterly impossible to ignore, “male” and “female” will simply be rebranded as “people with testes/ovaries”, “AMAB/AFAB”, or “people with/without Y chromosomes”. My personal favorite is “persons with [testosterone/estrogen] as their primary sex hormone.” Oddly, “man” and “woman” are still used, often with redundant qualifiers (“56-year-old man with testes”).

thames pilgrim @thames_pilgrim asks: “What are the most dangerous medical implications for turning a blind eye to someone’s sex due to a belief that talking about “male” and “female” might offend?”

This is a very important question which should be addressed at the following interrelated levels: clinical practice, research, and public policy.

Clinical practice: Transgender patients who do not disclose their birth sex might be at risk for improper medical treatment. (I have seen a natal female person who identified as a nonbinary man, be suspected of having testicular torsion; this person did not disclose their sex to the physician, which resulted in a delay in their care). Out of fear of being branded transphobic, physicians may not accurately and completely inform trans patients about their sex-specific risk for certain medical conditions. And for all patients, if a poorly-educated doctor is unaware as to how disorders manifest differently between the sexes, then patients can be harmed through the failure to rapidly and accurately diagnose and treat their medical conditions.

Research: Bad data generates bad research; bad research generates bad treatments; bad treatments generate bad outcomes. The physiological differences between males and females are vast, and stamp their mark on every organ of the human body, not just the genitals and gonads. Ignoring these differences will muddle our data, blur our understanding of physiology, and hinder the discovery of new treatments for diseases. Females are much more likely than males to have autoimmune disorders. Males are more likely than females to develop Parkinson’s disease. Males and females may present with different symptoms preceding a heart attack. Males and females metabolize drugs differently. Blatantly ignoring sex as a variable hobbles the process of scientific inquiry and limits the types of questions that researchers will ask, thereby limiting the answers they get.

Policy: Patients who are not transgender may be misled by “inclusive” educational materials and miss out on crucial preventative care. This is especially impactful in women’s health; whether due to language barrier, subpar sex education, or cultural taboo, not every woman will even know that she has a cervix, but she will know that she is female. Additionally, recommendations made by professional medical associations are widely used in clinical practice; if these guidelines are generated based on faulty data, this could negatively impact patients on a wider scale.

However, the most pernicious of possible harms is not the denial of sex; rather, the denial of sex is just one manifestation of a greater problem, which is the corrosion of critical thinking itself. Whatever you call it – this postmodern poison, the triumph of dogma over data – it is fundamentally incompatible with critical thinking, the most powerful all-purpose tool a physician has at his or her disposal. Starting with a conclusion and working backwards, all while twisting the data to fit a narrative, strikes me as more religious than scientific.

Marjorie Hutchins @leakylike asks: “Part of being a doctor is taking on ethical & safeguarding responsibilities[.] Why aren’t medical students challenging something which [could] have health implications for patients?”

Our positions as students are precarious, especially if one is labeled as being on the wrong side of history. Consequences for speaking out can include shunning, being anonymously reported to the school for “remediation”, being informally blacklisted from research and leadership opportunities, and potentially expulsion. Until I have earned my degree and have completed residency, I need to remain anonymous. To do otherwise would be to kill my career before it has even begun, which would also limit my ability to help many more patients in the future.

Although I am very biased, I think it should be on the onus of administration and our tenured professors to stand up against this madness, rather than on lone students to publicly put themselves at risk of debt and ruin. For now, I resist in the small ways that I can; I wish to do so more publicly when I am more secure.