#so i apologised and tried my best but i'm 100% sure i still came out as mean and not caring ;-;

[witchwhaat]

😶

[evesbeve]

Ben (TUActober Day 30)

TUActober Prompts by @totallyevan​

Not to spoil the end of the fic, but this is 100% based on something Justin Min did. If you know, you know. If not, even better. Hope you enjoy this!

Summary: If there's one thing that Klaus has learned about Ben over the years, it's that his brother always has his hood up when he's upset.

(Read on AO3)

___

Ben has been buried in his hoodie for two days straight.

Klaus knows it’s been this long, not only because he can see him, but also because every time he turns to talk to Ben, he has to pause and ask himself if it really is a good idea; if there's one thing that Klaus has learned about Ben over the years, it's that his brother always has his hood up when he's upset. And Ben does not want to talk when he’s upset. Ever.

But it’s starting to get ridiculous.

Sure, Klaus is all for respecting Ben’s boundaries, but they haven’t had a proper conversation ever since they got donuts the other day. Ben left Klaus with the rest of their siblings in the living room at some point, and Klaus simply assumed that he got overwhelmed by the crowd. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Klaus knew that Ben wasn’t quite used to talking to that many people at once yet.

It’s been two days though, two whole days, and Klaus can’t keep quiet much longer. Not only is he getting extremely bored, not being able to throw his commentary around and everything, but also worried.

He has to at least try.

“Benny?”

“Yeah?”

Ben seems normal. Mostly.

He’s sitting on Klaus’ bed, his nose buried in a book. If Klaus squints, he can even make out a smile on his face—reading a funny scene then. A good sign, considering Ben doesn’t usually go for happy books when he’s in a bad mood.

“Is there…” Klaus clears his throat. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Sorry?”

“Blow off some steam, perhaps?” Klaus continues, but Ben is still staring at him with a dumbfounded expression. Klaus sighs; he makes a gesture around his own head, pretending he’s putting his non-existent hood on.

Ben deadpans. “Oh.”

“Yeah…” Klaus takes a seat next to Ben, leaning his back against the wall. He wants to make a joke about how it’s just like old times, staying up way past their bedtime and talking about their problems—they haven’t really talked about serious things in a long time—but he figures now is probably not the best time.

Ben has closed his book, but he’s fiddling with the corner of the cover, refusing to look at Klaus. “You, uh… you noticed that?”

“Come on, how long have I known you?” Klaus has to admit, he would rather Ben didn’t know that Klaus has made the connection between the hoodie and being upset, but it was a long time coming.

Ben huffs, and shakes his head. “That obvious.”

“Compsi compsa,” Klaus says in the best French accent he can muster at the moment. “But, uh… you know I get it, right?”

Ben looks at him then.

Klaus can’t help but chuckle nervously. “Christ, I’m not good at this,” he says. He promised himself he’d do better, when they returned back to 2019, and that’s what he’s planning on doing.

“… you don’t think it’s funny?”

“Of course not!” Klaus says. “Jeez, Ben, I know we don’t really do this heart-to-heart thing, but I promise I’m not going to judge you on this.”

Ben stays quiet.

"Look…" Klaus says. "You, uh, know me better than anyone. You've witnessed most of my breakdowns for the past two decades."

Ben shrugs.

Klaus takes this as a cue to continue. "You're the one that told me it's okay to have bad days, remember?"

"I guess."

"See!" Klaus says. "You need to cut yourself some slack, man."

It takes another quiet moment for Ben to finally open up. "It's been… hard since we came back."

"I know, Benny."

Klaus feels his heart clench as he notices Ben's eyes getting watery.

"It isn't good, Klaus," Ben says, his voice not quite shaky, but not stable either. "And I'm—I'm worried it's going to be like this forever and, and—"

"Hey, hey." Klaus puts his hand on Ben's shoulder. "It hasn't even been a month yet, don't say that."

"Yes, but the other day, I—"

"I know," Klaus interrupts. He feels guilty for not being there for him then; he should have known keeping Ben conjured for so long with the others would have overwhelmed him. "I'm sorry I didn't help you."

Ben actually wipes a tear off his cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You don't have to apologise."

Ben smiles and nods, and his hand hovers over his hood for a bit.

"Now come oooon," Klaus says, letting go of Ben's shoulder and nudging his arm. "Take that off already and let me see that wonderful face of…"

Ben lowers his hood.

"… yours."

And his hair is gone.

And Klaus bursts out laughing. "Ben, what—" He tries to catch his breath. "What the—what the hell—?!"

"You promised you wouldn't laugh!" Ben says, and Klaus wants to take him seriously, he really does, but his hair is gone and it's too good of a sight.

Well, to be fair, it's not like he's bald. But his hair is shorter than it's ever been; a buzz cut. Ben went ahead and got a buzz cut and he was so ashamed of it he hid it for two days and the thought of it is so damn hilarious that Klaus can barely breathe.

"Yeah, because I thought you were having a bad day, but you—you got a—" Klaus gestured at his head, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. "You got a little something on your—"

"You know what, fuck you, Klaus!" Ben says, angrily getting up. "It's not that bad!"

"You hid it for two days!" Klaus says. "It is that bad and you know it and—oh my God. Oh my God, this is because Diego cut his hair, isn't it?"

Ben doesn't respond.

"Oh my God."

"It's not funny!" Ben yells. "I made a mistake and now it's never going away, and—"

"Hold on, Ben, Benny, Bennifer," Klaus interrupts, "it's hair. Much as I'm enjoying this, it will grow back out, you know."

"But that's the thing, you don't know that!" Ben says. "All these years as a ghost, my hair it's been the exact same, it hasn't gotten an inch longer and now—"

Klaus bursts out laughing again.

He simply can't help it. His brother has probably doomed himself to a buzz cut for the rest of eternity, and it looks horrendous and this is it. This is undeniably the best day of Klaus' life.

"Fuck you," Ben mutters and pulls his hood up, leaving the room.

Klaus thinks he's going to give him a moment.

[littlespoonevan]

hiii! I really hope I'm not bothering you but... are you taking prompts? 👀 cause I love your fics and this is kinda your fault because I read your post about 9x06 lol but now I can't stop thinking about I&M having a *real talk* like... "I'm sorry I let you go" 🥺?

Sorry it took me a while to get to this - my ao3 fics kept me quite busy the past few weeks! okay so i’ve written about the aftermath of 9x06 quite a few times but never an actual, full “talk about everything” conversation in its entirety so i decided to give it a whirl here! 

for the record i 100% believe they had a conversation like this within the first week, if not 24 hours, of being in the cell together and find it absolutely preposterous john wells tried to act like they hadn’t in 10x03 and then again in 10x08 bc all ian wanted to do legit all season was talk things through and that didn’t come from nowhere but ANYWAY, they’ve got a lot of things to sort through but i did my best to cover as much as i could!

I hope you like it <3

*

The lights have been out for five minutes and Ian just about manages to stay in his bunk long enough for the guard to do his final check of their cell before he’s swinging himself down from his bed to crawl in next to Mickey.

He’s met with kisses and a muffled laugh into his mouth and fuck, he never thought he’d get to do this again. He allows himself to get lost in Mickey’s body for a few minutes, trading hungry kisses while their hands roam wherever either of them can reach, like they’re trying to commit one another’s skin to memory again – not that Ian has any intention of letting Mickey go this time.

He’s been itching to touch Mickey like this all day – they’d managed a hurried, flustered mutual reunion handjob before but they couldn’t risk anything more. Even that had been reckless but he’s pretty sure he lost any and all sense the second Mickey walked through the door of his cell.

He wants more now, wants Mickey whatever way he can have him, but a thought makes him pause and as soon as he thinks it he can’t stop thinking about it.

Is this supposed to be reunion sex or make-up sex?

Ian had done a lot of soul-searching and self-reflection after he’d left Mickey at the border and he just- he wants to talk about it. He doesn’t want them to jump straight into everything again and let their issues fester like they used to. Sex has never been a problem for them, communication on the other hand…

Mickey must notice he’s slowed down because he leans back, a confused smile on his face. “What?”

Ian looks at him and feels nothing but an all-consuming, addictive kind of love envelope him. He loves Mickey so fucking much – he hadn’t been able to stop even when he wanted to – he’s not going to hurt him again. But that means he needs to do this right. “Do you think we should talk first?” he asks uncertainly.

They’d both sort of agreed earlier that they would talk eventually when they’d been catching up and found themselves naturally slipping into deeper territory. They’d said they could worry about it later. But well, it’s later now.

Mickey appraises him for a moment and Ian tries not to panic when he notices his expression shutter the tiniest bit. Cradling Mickey’s jaw, he runs a thumb across his cheek. “Mick, I wanna do this right this time. We should talk about it.”

Mickey’s expression softens somewhat at that. “Talk about what?”

Ian blows out a breath. “Everything, I guess?”

He’s not sure they ever really talked out their issues in the past. He thinks they would’ve when Mickey brought him back home after he took off for the army. But Ian had already been halfway to manic by then and hadn’t exactly been in the most rational frame of mind to discuss the deep shit.

Mickey shifts onto his back, still keeping one arm around Ian, and Ian fits himself against Mickey’s side, head half on the pillow, half on Mickey’s shoulder.

“Well, if we’re talking about everything,” Mickey starts, rolling his head to the side and meeting Ian’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

And that’s- what?

“What the fuck are you sorry for?” Ian asks with a frown – he’s pretty sure he’s the one with a laundry list of apologies to make here.

Mickey huffs out a laugh but it sounds sad. “Jesus, Ian. Did you just block out the first year and a half of our relationship?” He averts his gaze for a second before looking back to Ian with renewed determination. “I’m sorry for all the times I pushed you away or pretended this didn’t mean anything or ended it because I got scared or hit you- fuck-“

“Mickey,” Ian says, cutting him off with a hand on Mickey’s chest. “You think I resent you for any of that?” he says, words quietly disbelieving. “Or that I don’t get why you acted the way you did? Yeah, sure, it fucking hurt at the time but I’m pretty sure you made up for it a thousand times over with everything that came afterwards.”

When I almost burned our relationship to the ground, he thinks, and all you did was try to love me.

Mickey glances away again, looking more bashful this time. “It still doesn’t make it okay.”

“Yeah, well if it wasn’t already clear, I forgive you,” Ian tells him, feeling his mouth tick up at the edges when Mickey starts to smile at him. And he can’t help leaning to brush their lips together – just once before he allows himself to get side-tracked.

It’s his turn now.

“While we’re doling out apologies,” he starts, feeling shame burn through him. Even thinking about half the shit he’s done makes him question how the fuck Mickey’s still here. “I’m so fucking sorry, Mick. Jesus. For all of it.”

Mickey stares at him with something vulnerable in his eyes and Ian wonders if anyone’s ever actually apologised to Mickey for hurting him before. That thought alone is enough for him to keep going.

“I’m sorry for giving you an ultimatum after the wedding. I was just- fuck, I was at breaking point, y’know? I know what happened that day with Terry was a million times worse for you-“

Mickey tenses at that and Ian thinks they’re going to talk about a lot tonight but they probably won’t talk about that. Some scars just run too fucking deep.

“I always wondered,” Mickey interrupts quietly, staring at Ian’s hand on his chest instead of Ian himself. “If that day was your trigger or whatever.”

Ian’s wondered it too, has considered bringing it up whenever he does go to therapy countless times, but he can never make himself say it out loud.

“It might’ve been,” he says slowly. “But if it was that’s Terry’s fault, not yours.”

Mickey nods absently and Ian shifts forward until he can press his forehead to Mickey’s temple. “None of it was our fault, Mick.”

Neither of them speaks for a beat – everything they’ve left unsaid hanging heavy in the air between them until Ian eventually decides to carry on.

“And I know I said sorry for this one before,” he continues. “But I’m sorry for trying to make you come out.”

Mickey shakes his head as if to tell him it doesn’t matter. But it does.

“And for all the fucking bullshit I pulled with you while I was manic. Not even just the big stuff – the cheating, the porno, Yevgeny – but all of it. I didn’t treat you how I wanted to back then.” Ian feels tears burn behind his eyes just thinking about it and his pulse is ragged by the time Mickey finally turns his head to look at him.

His eyes are shining and Ian’s heart is fucking broken. “You were sick, Ian.”

“Doesn’t make any of it okay,” Ian mumbles, closing his eyes when he feels Mickey’s fingers graze against the back of his neck. “Just- I really need you to know that the only reason I broke up with you was because Monica fucking got in my head and I could see how much I was killing you and I didn’t want that for you, Mick,” he says, voice low and desperate, begging Mickey to understand. “The thought of you just staying with me and letting me hurt you over and over again was too fucking much. Especially back then when I felt like I’d never feel normal again.”

Mickey is quiet for a moment before he squeezes the back of Ian’s neck. “I’m not excusin’ shit, Ian. Losing you back then- it nearly fucking broke me. But it’s like what you said about the stuff I did. It’s not okay. But I know why you did it.”

Ian nods, sniffling back the tears threatening to fall and burying his face in Mickey’s neck to press an apologetic kiss against the spot where his neck meets his shoulder. Mickey’s arm tightens around him in response and it’s enough to give Ian courage to deliver the final part of his apology.

He leans back, pushing up on his elbow so he can look down at Mickey and meets his gaze while he talks. “I’m sorry I didn’t go with you to Mexico,” he whispers, breath hitching. “I’m so fucking sorry but I wanted to believe so badly that I actually had my shit together and-“

Mickey cuts him off before he can say anymore, lips upturned in a rueful smile. “I’m not mad about that,” he murmurs.

Ian frowns in confusion. “You’re not?”

Mickey nods, blowing out a resigned breath. “You were fucking right, Ian. Where were we supposed to get your meds? I spent two years working for a fucking cartel, that’s not exactly the kinda stress-free, routine life you needed to be living.” Mickey shakes his head, shrugging half-heartedly. “I didn’t think it through, I just wanted to be with you again – couldn’t see past that, y’know?”

And Ian is so fucking in love with him. He can’t believe Mickey still has so much goddamn faith in him.

“Fat lotta good it did anyway,” he huffs bitterly. “Goin’ home. Look where I ended up.”

He’d given Mickey the basics of what’d happened with the whole Gay Jesus thing earlier. But it’s still hard to believe how quickly things spiralled after he came home from the border.

Mickey doesn’t say anything because there’s not much to say really but he links his fingers together with the hand Ian’s still got resting on his chest which is an answer in and of itself.

“Listen,” Ian murmurs, meeting Mickey’s gaze and hoping he can see the sincerity there. “I know- I don’t expect you to just give me blanket forgiveness right now, okay? I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me,” he says, voice feeling thick with emotion. “But let me make it up to you, alright? Let me prove that I’m in this this time. I’m not fuckin’ around again, Mick. I’m not- I can’t let you go again.”

Mickey doesn’t reply right away and Ian watches as a myriad of emotions flickers across his face. Eventually though, his throat bobs and he offers Ian a hint of a smile. “You let me make my shit up to you. It’d be pretty fuckin’ hypocritical if I didn’t let you do the same.”

Ian huffs out a relieved laugh, resting his forehead against Mickey’s shoulder. “Or smart, maybe.”

“When have I ever fuckin’ been smart around you, Gallagher?” Mickey says amusedly and Ian raises his head again, leaning in until there’s the barest inch of space between them.

“I mean it,” he whispers steadfastly. “If it takes a week or a year to make you trust me again, I’ll do it. I promise.”

Mickey’s expression is calm and open as he watches him and Ian revels at being allowed to see the vulnerability behind his eyes – more as a sign of trust than because Mickey can’t conceal it for once. He closes the distance between them and tries to pour every bit of love and devotion he possesses into the kiss, hoping Mickey can feel it.

When their lips dislodge after a minute or so Ian rearranges them until he’s the one lying on his back and Mickey’s head is resting on his chest.

“I missed you so fucking much,” Mickey admits into the cotton of Ian’s tank top and Ian closes his eyes, feeling a lump swell in his throat as his eyes begin to water.

“I missed you too,” he murmurs hoarsely, tightening his arms around Mickey like he could fuse their bones together and pressing a firm kiss to Mickey’s hair. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Mickey mumbles and it’s just three words but it feels like fucking salvation to Ian’s ears.

They’re gonna be alright.

*

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[cutelittleluckysoul]

Hello! Could I have a Star Wars/Marvel ship please? I'm 4'11" with dark blonde hair (usually dyed red) and blue eyes. I'm a shy and modest person who suffers from anxiety but others consider me cute and chaming. I like video games, music, and being creative! While I'm introverted and tend to brood, I love very deeply and am extremely loyal. I don't fear the dark sides of other because I've been there. I love to cuddle and NEED TO TOUCH! I hate drama and prefer the chill hoodie lifestyle!

Of course you can! I hope you enjoy it

For the Prequels I ship you with Anakin Skywalker

the guy would be so smitten with you

you are very accepting of the way he is (he can be very harsh sometimes but would always apologise afterwards)

he is also very glad that you listen to his problems and mistakes he did and don’t judge him

you are actually really supportive of him and try to help as best as you can

of course he would be there for you as well as often as he is allowed to

even on missions he tries to talk to and listen to you when your anxiety gets too much for you

in general he is very considering when you have an anxiety attack and he knows the best methods to calm you down (which is usually cuddling if he is there or talking about the problem)

of course it doesn’t always help 100% but he makes sure to at least try

he loves coming home to you and see the new thing you started as an outlet for your creativity

LOTS of cuddles (we all know Anakin loves cuddles! and he needs them)

the guy is an anxious mess himself sometimes, especially after a nightmare

and you know the feeling so you are there to help him and talk to him

he adores how tiny you are tho kissing can get a little complicated

he teases you a lot about your height in a adoring way tho

he plays video games with you and he would be so good at them too

there is a constant competition over who is the best 

Anakin trying to distract you by shoving you

you trying to distract him by showing a little more skin (works every time)

he is never mad when he loses tho

you two are each others rocks

 For the Original Trilogy I ship you with Luke Skywalker

when you first met he is almost as shy as you

you two click immediately

there is an instant need to protect you

he's doing a good job at this too

he really keeps you out of all danger

and he is great at soothing your anxiety (although he was very awkward at the beginning he gets better and better)

you are constantly worried when he is gone fighting his father 

being more than relieved whenever you get a holocall from him or Leia checking in with you

you and Leia being BFFs and taking no bullshit from your boys

when he comes back for good he is different, a little colder

he has PTSD so you try and help him with it

the guy clings to you afterwards and basically never wants to leave your side ever again

you to acquire a small house far far away from any trouble

you show him all the ways in which he can relax

acquiring new hobbies every day because you want to try them all at least once

he enjoys watching you try new things more than he enjoys doing them

tho if you give him puppy eyes he will basically do everything for you

dancing together in the living area of your home to slow and quiet music

also hugging you from  behind every morning while you make breakfast

the guy is just very clingy ok?

also likes to watch you play video games because he is way too bad at them

you tried to teach him so often already but he just can’t

all in all you life a very peaceful life and enjoy each others company

a quiet life with the love of your life what more could you ask for?

For the Sequels I ship you with Finn

he, just like the other two, went through alot

he has PTSD as well 

you two calming each other down whenever one of you needs it

but it happens that you both freak out at the same time

you basically squish each other when that happens because no words are spoken and the tightest embrace ever happens

it helps a lot

Poe would tease the two SO much (tho when drunk he would get all sappy and cry how perfect you two are for each other change my mind)

you hate it when he leaves for missions tho you stay with Leia most of the time and try to distract yourself

running to him and jumping into his arms as soon as he lands

hugging for at least 10 minutes

you both spending the next few days attached to the hip

also video game nights are a weekly occurrence with the both of you

he loves them almost as much as you do and is relatively good at them

and even if he is bad he just enjoys spending time like this with him

also he loves to see with what you came up with while he was gone and loves to see what you created in that time

he is just really happy to have you in his life

And for Marvel I would ship you with Bucky Barnes

listen here the boy just needs the biggest hug in the history of hugs!

he has PTSD and anxiety problems as well as a few other things

don’t get me wrong he can be deadly but he prefers to be all soft around you

hand holding, hand kisses, cheek kisses, kisses to your head or your forehead, etc. he does it all and he loves doing it

he is the most protective boyfriend in the whole world!

going on cute little dates with him to old antique shops or old diners

he tells you a lot about his youth and the ‘good ol’ days’

he loves calling you his doll like Steve even thought that was your name because Bucky never really refers to you with your actual name (“Steve this is my Doll” “Yesterday my Doll and I went to this really cute diner in Downtown” etc.)

you don’t mind tho but you have to remind him to at least introduce you with your name so others could use it

even though he tries to hide his insecurities you can see whenever he is hit with them

but you are a pro at making him feel better

he on the other hand never really knows what to do when you get an anxiety attack so he just hugs you really close to him and soothingly pats your head

you really appreciate his efforts

dancing with him to old songs and showing him some newer ones that he actually really enjoys

also video games

he wants to be better as Sam in them so you teach him all the tricks and secrets

he claims it is the happiest day of his life when he actually beats Sam

he shows you how thankful he is later that night

him keeping you a secret for a long time because he is worried that someone will take you from him

you promise him to stay safe and all but he still makes sure you are

Bucky loves comfortable jumpers but it so happens that you steal them all every time

he can’t be mad tho because seeing you in them just makes him go nuts

you get along with Steve and Sam really well and he is so relieved that all the important people in his life get along with each other

he truly believes that life can be better after he met you and that it isn’t the cold hurtful place he learned to believe it was

you are the light of his life

[whale-shark-queen]

You mentioned fucked up weird AUs in your one post? I'm interested. Tell me about your favourite one(s)!!

AAAaaaah thank you so much!!

Uhhhhhhh heck most of them involve N turning into some horrible Thing because he’s the Estranged Outsider with a Connection to the Bad Guys Even If It’s Not Willingly (yknow like how Eren from snk is a titan shifter or Rin from blue exorcist is part demon) and all of them involve vuvuzelashipping (Nxall the Nuvema lot) I don’t really have a single favourite but I’ll summarize the ones I like most (also note that some of them are good dad Ghetsis/Dadsis aus because u gotta balance out the angst somehow plus dadsis aus are Cool)

Under the cut because I literally can’t summarise for shit and I’m sure no one wants to scroll past 3 pages worth of this (mobile users I apologise since the app is SHIT and refuses to even acknowledge these) 

Also here’s a bit of an index so u can skip to ones that sound interesting instead of going through them all but first u should ask nationalharmonica about her aus bc I love all of hers and they’re awesome and need more love and she also helped with alot of these aus too!! ESPECIALLY the Dragonflower au which I won’t include here because I think she has it on her blog somewhere already.  If ur wondering why I haven’t posted any of these it’s because a) i have neither the skill, time or patience to draw up proper references for all of the characters involved and b) I’m always worried theyll seem too Out There for some people but here we go au masterpost i guess, if anyone reading would like more info feel free to ask!!!

Bacterial Contamination inspired au aka bacterial pestileNce

BotW au

Ib au

PMMM au (the longest one)

Plasma/Aether swapover, N wins+UB monochromeshipping au

Simple fNaf dadsis au

sister locatioN dicksis au (yes I have two for that because I only found out about the secret springtrap cutscene at the end of SL that changes everything the other day)

Nombie (dadsis) au

isolatioN au- Au based on the song Bacterial Contamination.  N goes to the snobbiest most pretentious school you can imagine only because his ex mafia boss dad wants the best for him.  N hides the fact he’s being relentlessly bullied until a teacher phones Ghetsis up asking why N is in such a state whenever he comes into school (BC bruises and cuts and looking roughed up in general).  N goes to therapy and gets meds but surprise they’re an experimental drug and he’s a bug boy now

- BotW au where Touya is Link, Cheren as Revali, Bianca is Mipha and Touko is Zelda.  Ghetsis (who is kinda like Demise if he hung around to make sure his curse worked) is the king of a neighboring region who’s a bit of a warmongering asshole but his son N is friends with princess Touko and her…ahem, associates, which is the only reason Touko’s dad stays civil with him at all.  He uses this to his advantage and infects N with the Malice and reveals his plan to take over Unova, knowing fine well that N would run away to Touko for help.  The truth is he’d set up N to be a ticking time bomb and eventually he becomes the Calamity.  After the whole ~100 year coma and releasing the divine beasts~ thing Touya only remembers who N is after killing him but dw there’s a blood moon just as Touko is sealing the Malice away and N’s freed spirit is brought back to become a friendly giant fluffy spider boy just because I said so

- Ib au with N as Mary (obv Ghetsis is Guertena) except instead of going crazy and trying to kill everyone and being burned up and dying himself the toutous make him sit in the frame while they drag it out of the portal to the real world: problem solved.  I have all this stuff about the others being able to step into his frame but he can’t leave unless someone else draws him so he can possess the drawing but I won’t go into it here BC this post is gonna be long enough already

-Okay I have two madoka aus because possibilities for N are Ndless but I’ve only really developed the dicksis version whereas I only have a witch design for a possible dadsis version so here’s the dicksis one.  The first: Ghetsis is kinda like Walpurgisnacht and N was originally a familiar that represented Ghetsis’ interest being only in things that directly oppose him who was becoming powerful enough to become a witch of his own.  Not wanting him to have even a fraction of power himself Ghetsis transformed him into a human shape, gave him sentience and intelligence and as close to a pure heart as possible so he would be easier to manipulate and led him to believe that magical girls/boys hunt down innocent witches for fun and have witches trapped in their soul gems and tasks N with stealing people’s soul gems to ‘free the witch inside’.  The problem is that the alteration gave N the mindset of ‘innocents who aren’t involved must be protected at all costs’ rather than Ghetsis’ mindset of ‘don’t give a fuck about anyone unless they’re a problem’.  N is also sent to integrate into human society so that he can find magical peepos easier so he ends up coincidentally going to school with the Nuvema kiddos.  He ends up becoming friends with them until he finds out Cheren and Bianca are magicas (I’m just gonna call them that for simplicity) but even though the toutous arent magicas they still support them which is all very upsetting and conflicting for N but he tries his best to protect the witches and steal more soul gems until the others eventually call him out on it and prove to him that the shit Ghetsis told him is bull.  When he goes to confront him about it it’s too late, Ghetsis has absorbed enough witches to become a Walpurgisnacht-like entity, and finally allows N to become a witch.  I’ll link the drawings I’ve done of him but basically his labyrinth would be like a puppet theater and even tho hes the witch he’d have this fuckin giant messed up ghetsis-lookin puppet master familiar who pulls at his strings and coordinates his attacks.  There’d be an audience of masked figures that look like all the magicas he’s caused the deaths of, tiny animals with scissors to represent his wish for freedom and also his fear of his ‘father’ since they never actually get to cut the strings holding him up, and figures that look a heck of a lot like the nuvema kiddos watching in a balcony.  This is all tied into a theory I came up with that almost all the witches are able to be saved since yknow how Homura had that figure of Madoka locked away and Madoka was able to bring her back, and how Sayaka had the violin guy and Charlotte had that doll that probably represents her dead mother? My guess is that if the people those figures represent are brought to the witch and reach out to them the magical girl inside would be able to be freed.  But yeah since N was never really a human the Nuvema kiddos can only really save a fraction of his conscious and he ends up like Bebe.  They all beat the shit out of Ghetsis and everyone lives happily ever after with their pocket witch bf

- the au where 1) plasma and aether are sort of swapped around and 2) N beats the toutous in the final battle.  This is actually based on nationalharmonica’s courtesaN au which is awesome BTW (but it doesn’t involve actual courtesans or N being a courtesan at all but its Sarah’s au so if you’re interested you should totally ask her about it).  Ghetsis keeps Touko and Touya prisoner and just to rub it in their faces blackmails Cheren and Bianca into joining and doing sciency experiment shit which ends up with Touko and Touya becoming UB fusions/hybrids themselves; Touya with Kartana and Touko with Celesteela.  Ofc in the later stages they are able to destroy their place of confinement and escape with Cheren and Bianca to find N who becomes understandably fucked off and upset that his friends have been put through all this shit but begs them not  to kill Ghetsis so he can ask what’s going on.  When he does Ghetsis stabs him with a syringe full of UB fusion shit because he knows fine well hes gonna die he just wanted a final ‘fuck you’ before he is killed by both fire and paper cuts.  Surprise! It’s a Guzzlord.  N becomes a big squishy boy. I’ve done drawings of N in human Guzzlord fusion/hybrid form but I’ve been afraid of posting it but uh if anyones interested i will

- Simplified fNaf dadsis au - basically N and the Nuvema kiddos are the ones that were killed and stuffed in the animatronics, Ghetsis owns the place but risks going bankrupt pouring money into helping find the culprit and also his son and his friends when they’ve been stuck in the one restaurant he kept open to stay afloat.  Nate is the new nightguard and they decide to fuck with him to get rid of some of the boredom of being alone together in the one building for like…30 years or so.  In the end they fess up and make Nate pizza as an apology and they’re chill again

- sister locatioN dicksis au - I already summarised a thing i wrote of it in response to an anon but I’ll include here too.  Once again Ghetsis owns all the shit with the animatronics.  Anthea and Concordia get killed by one of them when they were young so years later Ghetsis sends N down to ‘free’ them (surprise he only wanted to get rid of N) but since their spirits have been fused into one hideous amalgamation of animatronics they’ve gone a bit loopy and want to leave.  The whole scooping room thing ensues and they accidentally turn their brother into a zombie

- Nombie au bc Z is a sideways N heheh I ahven’t thought up much of the background for it but it involves Plasma being a pharmaceutical company that is sort of accidentally being the cause of it.  N gets separated from his dad who ends up being the leader of a large group of people in a little town sort of thing they were able to reclaim but is Sad bc he thinks his son is dead which ends up being half true bc surprise N is half immune and ends up being a conscious zombie boy who wears a curtain as a cloak so he doesnt immediately frighten people bc he got his eye shot out by hillbilies, his face scratched up, his throat bitten out and his heart impaled on a pole (hes a freak without a human heart geddit) zombie apocalypse stuff happens

- isolatioN au - basically spawned from the thought of ’what if N was kept even more hidden away/locked up/never even left at all’.  Plasma is instead secretly in the Pokemon poaching/hunting/selling business but are disguised as…well you already know about Plasma.  The nuvema kiddos had varying levels of rough childhood and were desperate for money so they all joined up; the toutous as night guards and the dualrival s as researchers.  Hidden deep in the facility is a certain tree haired manchild who has been kept in a cage for pretty much his entire life.  Ghetsis does a mother gothel and makes out its to keep him safe and brings him Pokemon to ask about where they live and what other kinds of Pokemon live there so that Ghetsis can release them safely back into the wild go hunt for more Pokemon in the area if there’s anything good there

There’s a few more that I have but I won’t include them because im worried it’d be a waste of time if no one takes interest in any of these but uh thanks for asking and reading if you did!!!