#so i can make food for my friedns

[mickmundy]

hiii, i really love your interpretation of spy and i love hearing you talk about him. he's sooo mischaracterized most of the time that it really hinders my enjoyment of fan material. I would live to hear you talk more about him (or spoovy hehe)

EEE SHRIEKS THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEDN ;u; that means the world to me!! i'm always happy to hear that people like my thoughts on the mercs!! ;;; and i completely get that, i do the same with characters i love for that very reason! :/ buuut that's why i gotta make what i wanna see, heheehe!! >:)c i'm so happy you enjoy my characterization, i'm so honored!! ;;; <3333 i am also SO sorry that i've kept you waiting for so long, but i am so happy to finally be able to take time and answer!! :-)

i've covered a lot of bases with spy in terms of what i've posted about him kind of superficially, so perhaps i'll delve into things a little more specifically! i hope this is okay! ;o; <3333 some big headcanon chunks and some spoovy >:3 HEHEHE!

i often think about how spy operates in terms of how he expresses generosity... while he's obviously very guilty of bombarding his loved ones with gifts, food, whatever their heart could possibly desire (even if heavy insists that spy doesn't need to do any of that for him!), i think that's reserved solely for his romantic partner(s)... like heavy and scout's mom! >:3c hehe... as for anyone else, i think he prefers to control how his kindness is perceived (and if it's perceived at all!)...

i've mentioned before but little things liiiike:

taking pyro's sweets out of the oven before they burn

replacing engineer's wrench that he swore he'd lost forever (spy found it and put it in the right place on engie's tool wall)...

making sure scout always has a cold can of bonk in the fridge

and so on!

and he never wants any of them to know that those random acts of kindness come from him! he also sometimes takes it upon himself to "gently interfere" (despite his insistence that he hates doing that or refuses to do that!) in some of the affairs of his friends... a personal favorite of mine goes like this:

spy knows sniper has a hard time expressing his emotions or being vulnerable and gets kinda stubborn about it

spy "lets it slip" to medic in passing that sniper sleeps with a stuffed animal

sniper gets embarrassed and is like "SPY!!!! >:/"

medic gives sniper puppy dog eyes and is like "oh, hoo! can i please see him! ;o;" and sniper's like ";-;... really... well.. alright..." and shows him and they have a lovely night together in his van of sniper telling medic about his childhood or some kind of anecdote and getting Vulnerable and medic pulls a little suture kit out of his pocket and is like "he certainly looks well-loved... perhaps i could sew some of these (misc rips and tears and Worn Down Spots) up for him? hmm?" and sniper's like ";_; you'd do that.?.." (sniper can sew but he just never got around to repairing his lil friend) and medic is like "certainly! uUu you needn't worry, he'll be in good hands." and winks and sniper takes medic's hands in his own and kisses them and murmurs "the best.. <3" against them and then watches medic "operate"... hehehe... to which he of course does a perfect job and its very cute/intimate/romantic for both of them!

next day sniper and spy are taking a smoke break together and spy's like "... well, how did it go?" and sniper's like "how did what go- OAO WAIT..." and spy smirks and blows smoke away from their faces and hums and is like "i see. a success, then? i hope you had a good night." and sniper's like ">//M//<... yeah... we did... thanks, spy..."

like spy will sometimes just take it upon himself to push some relationships forward or do little things that he knows will improve the lives of those around him but asks for no credit in doing so... and this is where i think heavy would start to really notice him in a romantic kind of way.. he admires that spy can be flamboyantly generous but that his real bread and butter is being Anonymously (or, in a Roundabout Way) Kind... i think that kind of thing would go a long way with heavy and he'd respect it... actions speaking louder than being able to Brag that you did them and so on..

heavy confronts spy about it one time.. they're in the kitchen together and heavy sees a cloaked spy loading a few bonk cans (they're floating into the fridge from the pack scout left on the counter) and heavy grins and is like "excuse me, impressively floating cans. i would like to make a sandwich." and takes out everything he needs and moves aside so that spy can continue and has his back to spy and he can hear spy finish and close the fridge and go to dart out of the room but heavy's like "scout will be happy for cold drink. he is lucky you are watching out for him." and of course everyone (including heavy and spy) know spy is no dad of the year and that historically spy doesn't have a great track record of watching out for scout but he's trying now... and that's what heavy's acknowledging.. and spy doesn't say anything and slips out and spends the next like 2 weeks thinking about heavy and what he said, wondering if heavy will say anything to anyone or expose him.. but he doesn't. he figures spy has his reasons and respects them.

then heavy decides to go and make another sandwich a few weeks after and sits down at one of the mess hall tables first and puts his book down, starts making tea first, preparing the kettle.. and he goes to make his sandwich and he sees the ingredients floating out of the fridge and slowly making themselves into a sandwich, just the way he likes it... perfect ratio of sauces and toppings, olive meticulously skewered with a toothpick on each piece... cut neatly into four little triangles, instead of his usual two. just enough of a difference for it to be Clearly From Spy (as if it was any mystery). spy then places a glass of wine that compliments the flavors of the sandwich (spy's personal recommendation of course) beside it on the table..

heavy smiles warmly and the kettle is whistling and heavy doesn't even notice as he takes a bite of one of the sandwich pieces and he swears it tastes better since spy made it.. takes a sip of the wine and it's perfect... an absolute delight.. and he's not even typically a wine drinker but oh my gosh. and the kettle is still whistling and heavy finally notices and is like oh! and looks over and sees, through the steam, a red suited sleeve (the rest of his body is still cloaked) take it off of the stove and heavy smiles lovingly and is like "thank you, spy." and keeps eating and taking his time, savoring it... and spy's still cloaked but he feels spy brush the tips of his fingers over his broad back and hears a gentle "de rien." before the door opens and closes.. and now it makes heavy think of spy... that gentle touch with those poised and graceful fingers... how he typically hated being touched on the back, but how he loved how spy had done it just then... HEHEHE...

[enkephalin3]

[steampunkedparm]

AHHHH IN SO EXCITED IM SO CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT THIS RECIPE I THINK THE MOST I REALLY HAVE TO DO IS FIGURE OUT THE SIZE ND FIGURE OUT HIW LONG TO COOK IT AND !!!!!!

[dyosangmakulit]

Scared to be alone.

I was diagnosed with “Adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depressed mood.” it somehow rooted out when I was a kid. When my parents over nourished me. (Hindi talaga healthy ang “sobra”)

I was only child for the longest time (13 yrs to be exact). Yep, since only child lang ako I can get what I want. instantly. So when I wanted to play with someone (which is not that rare because I got cousins) I somehow tried my best to go with their terms. Typical kiddo lol. I mean I have the lutu-lutuan set, I allow them to be the tindera and I’ll just be the boring taga bili ng food and gumastos kuno ng play money. why? simple lang. as a kid they would normally play with me if they had the chance to play the role they want. and as a person na sabik sa kalaro I always agree. Kasi takot ako maging mag isa ulit. 

Everytime I’m with people I love and everything feels perfect I’m scared that it will not happen again. It will not go back the way I see it. 

I stayed with 8 fvcking yrs with someone that I thought I’m scared to not be with. Im scared to let him go because I feel like no one would make me happy the way he did. (spoiler alert. I got better off without him. I made myself happier). I did agree with all his terms in life why? because mas takot ako sa idea na mawala siya. Takot ako sa change na yon. Tinanggap ko lahat ng kababuyan niya (which resulted to TRAUMA hays) para lang mag stay siya. But ending.. nawala din. and it sucks because I feel like I’m always the problem. I did something that’s why nawala siya/sila.

I hate it when someone ghosting me. I thought marupok ako kasi baka attached na ako agad sa kanila. pero yung totoo I’m not. Im just comfortable with their presence tas biglang mawawala ng walang warning (WHICH IS NOT GOOD FOR ME CAUSE BITCH SLOW BURN NGA AKO SA AJUSTMENTS DIBA) so I always think na WHAT THE FUUURK IS WRONG WITH ME as if I did something bad to them. It was draining to the point I feel the exact pain when I broke up with my ex. It was so frustrating as fuck (but mas mabilis mag recover). Nakakarecover ako agad kasi nga SLOW BURN yung pag adjust ko, kaya ko naman ng wala sila pero mas mabagal lang ako mag process. 

When my friedns treat me differently napapansin ko yon even on the smallest changes. It frustrates me. Ayaw na niya sakin? may mas tropa na siya? ah ganon. HAHAHA see? I’m that needy and it annoys me for the longest time lalo na nung di ko pa alam yung diagnosis sakin. I remember when I was in HS lilibre ko talaga aports ko just to be with me. (kuripot nako ngayon eh) Alam mo yun parang lahat ng pabor willing ako iadjust kasi nga takot ako mawala sila sa buhay ko and may instances na masakit sa part kong Im not that special to them (PERO YUN NGA DI NAMAN PALA. IBA LANG TALAGA KO MAG ISIP).

It was hard to deal with it kasi even on the smallest detail ramdam ko o alam ko na may nag bago. And it sucks beh kasi lagi akong takot. Takot maramdaman ng paulit ulit yung pain (anxious yarn) na may mawawala sakin. and most of the time nangyayare naman yun (which im not in control dun). I have to adapt na oo mahirap pero that how life works. People come and go. Make you happy now but disappear whenever they want. I should stop focusing on the things that I cannot control. I should also not really give everything para wag lang sila umalis sa buhay ko. I should also give my own terms. Yep I should stop adjusting for others.

For the longest time ang salitang ginagamit ko is “TAKOT” that leads to feeling of hopelessness while I can use the work MAHIHIRAPAN that helps you feel na you’ll struggle but it will be worth it in the end. You’ll finish it strong. :) 

[qwertyfingers]

top five ways to say 'i love you'

honestly im a sucker for just saying i love you i say it all the time bc im disgustingly earnest and i love my friedns a lot but besides that

telling someone i was thinking of them (and what sparked it). last week a song id never heard before played on my discover weekly that reminded me of my friend laceleaf while i was on a hike through the moors on my own. i'd spent that whole morning thinking that i was sad we hadn't spoken for a while and was planning to message them anyway to say hi and that song made me feel really connected to them again and sending it to the was just like. hi i love you and im forever being reminded of you in the strangest of ways

making food for someone ;_; nothing feels as loving as making food for eachother to me

inteoducing someone to bad media that i like. i can show anyone the good stuff that i enjoy, if i deliberately get you into a bad tv show or film that i like its because i love you

sending people art or poetry that reminds me of them or that reminds me of stuff i already know they like. seeing a painting or sculpture or etc and connecting it to art another person introduced me to just feels so. oughhhhghhh it feels like Being Alive you know.

my 'we're born get old and die here' tag on this blog. that's my love letter to the world and to life and to myself. i do love me and i do love this planet and i love people and i look at it to remind myself.

ask me my top 5 anything!

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 

until next time, remember.......

[mswhoareyou]

Why I Don’t Have a Stable Job? What’s Wrong?

When I was in High School, I become so different. I’m shy. No confidence. Been bullied. Scared to be alone. It took awhile before I can have my own circle of friends. But at least, I got friends. True friends. High school has been so challenging to me. I’m scared to go to school, might bump into bullies. I’m just so thankful that I’ve met people who I can run to, when I’m troubled. Those people are my friedns until now. We’re like sisters now, you know.

Then time came when I have to get separated from them. You know what I mean. If you want to go to college you have to go on your own way. Cause they do. You will choose a different path from them. That’s where the “REAL” student life begins.

Some of them took Architecture. Some are HRM, MedTech, BSBA, etc. And me? UNDECIDED. I almost never made it to college, cause my mom thinks, I don’t want to study anymore. BUT NO... I’m just... I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT.

What should I take? What exactly I want? The answer... I really don’t know. My family asked me to take Education, so I can be a teacher after. And I was like “we’re all teachers here. I want something different”. Think of it... you want something different but doesn’t know what kind of difference. So I took Tourism, where my best friend is. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t take it to be with her. I just really don’t know what to take. I’m still confuse, I still don’t know what it’s like after you graduate. Didn’t know how hard life can be after college.

And then during my first semester there, I was like “oh it’s not bad to be a flight attendant, you know”. But then, time goes by I started to realize, I’m not belong here. I can’t be like this. Wearing make up all day. Wearing at least 2 inch of heels. In fact, I’m not as beautiful as those people. This is not for me.

So after the first semester, I decided to shift. But still... what course? What degree? I still don’t know.

Due to some circumstances that time, and since I have so much problem that time not just as a student, I decided to follow my family’s suggestion. Education.

I like it there. It was fun. I enjoy it. Not until we had this activity to perform your 8 hidden talents. I forgit how they exactly call it. But that was something like that. We have to perform. I don’t have talents. What should I do? I know how to sing. How to dance. But I’m not good at it. I’m scared. I’m shy. People might laugh at me, if I did it wrong. I might get bullied again.

At the day of performance. I was so nervous. My heart seems to get out if my chest anytime and die.

I didn’t do it. And I never come back. That was our final exam. My professor and classmates never see me that time.

I don’t know what happened next. All I know is that, my mom agreed, that, I have to change course again.

You know the feeling of being a failure? Useless? Worthless! That’s what I felt that time. I am nothing but... nothing.

I promised to my mom, that I’m gonna make it this time. I’ll do it right by now. I’m not gonna waste it AGAIN. This time it’s real.

So then, I did my best. I tried everything I can do, to at least gain some confidence. Just a little. “PLEASE SELF! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU HAVE TO DO IT!”. I don’t know how, but I’m just doing fine. I’m doing great. Maybe HRM is what’s best for me. I made friends. New friends. And yeah, I finished school with that course. I am a gradute of BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN HOTEL & RESTAURANT MANAGEMENT.

And there... I thought I’m good. That I did great, cause finally I’m a graduate.

Life After College

This is the real world. This is where adulting begin. You have to find job. And... it’s not easy. Specially to me, who’s credentials/school history are... BAD. I find job online. Go somewhere far, where opportunities are overflowing, like Manila. I pass resume in each and every establishment/company I see, even those that are not related to my course.

Hayys. It’s tiring and hopeless. But I can’t stop, cause I just can’t. I can’t be a failure again.

And then a fast food chain called. And. Was so happy. Finally! Finally! I got one. I have a chance to become a MANAGER. I dream high. Really high. I want it. I want to do it.

At the third day of my training, they asked me to do what cashiers do in a fast food chain. I thought I was ready... but when the customer talked to me... I can’t move. I can’t speak. I’m freezing and shaking. I... I can’t do this. I’m scared to make mistakes that will make the manager mad at me. What if I served the wrong food? What if I punched the wrong product? What uf? What if? What if? So much what ifs!

I told the manager that I am going to quit. Yeah! I quit! Everything is gone. I’m a failure again... I can never be a manager.

You know, when I set my feet in that fast food chain, there I realized that being a manager is what I want. That was the first time, that I ever felt, I have a dream. That’s the first time I become a decisive. This is what I want.

Lesson And Realization

But having dreams, plans and goals isn’t enough to achieve it. You need to have confidence. You need to know exactly what you want and what’s your priorities. You need to make a move. You can never do that if you have so much fears.

You know... I have confidence now. But it’s not enough to give me a better life. But enough to make me realize who I am.

Acceptance. It will help you to move forward.

My decision is what brought me here right now. No one to blame but me.

It’s not too long when I realized that following what you want is what’s best for you.

Seeing my cousin who’s a teacher right made me think “if only, I didn’t quit that time. If only I perform no matter how embarassing it is. If only I have so much confidence. If only I didn’t let fear overcome the best in me. I’m a person my mom will be proud of. “

I can’t change the past. But I can still set a better future for me. I’m 28, not so young, but still breathing. I still have a chance. I know there’s still hope for me. And giving up will never be a choice for me, AGAIN. This time it’s real. You know why? Cause I believe that God will never wake me up the next morning if I’m already done. I know now who I am. I know now EXACTLY what I want. And I’m doing my very best now to make it happened. With God, it will.

I was a mess, cause I always think I’m alone. You know, your fears will help you become a mess. But with God, you will be ok. You will better. You are enough.

If you are like me, not so young and still in a situation where you can’t pay your own bills. Don’t give up. You still have hope. As long as you are still breathing, there’s still have a chance.

If you are a student who’s about to enter college and doesn’t know what course to take. My advice for you is to follow your parents and siblings suggestions. Why? Cause that was the biggest mistake I made in life. Not following them. They know what life like after school. They know the struggle. They know how hard it is to find job. If you are still a student, what you have to think is tour future. I know, people keep on saying to enjoy your life while you are still young. That’s true! But never forget to the possibilities of the future if you let your joy as student take over you. It’s not easy. You have to learn what exactly you want.

If you are in high school, build your confidence now and get to know yourself better. You have to find yourself while you are still in high school, cause it’s too hard to be part of a bigger environment when you are confuse and struggling for what exactly you want. Your time in high school is where you start to think about your future life.

You can do it. Don’t make mistakes like mine. You guys has a bigger chance to fix yourself. Do it and be better. Have confidence 😊

God is always with you. 🙏

[attorneyfag]

teh longest fking shitpost ever

cat statue!drunk!tipsyGnostalgic [TG] joined chat.

wearing glasses!Crocodile [CROCODILE] joined chat.

TG: (there is a porcelain cat standing on the floor where one previously wasnt... in the place where a roxy lalonde was getting wasted. its expression seems dead set on being astonished, mouth painted wide open. it seems capable of moving, but looks like a stop motion animation in real life. maybe youre drunk too. who knows.)

CROCODILE: im

CROCODILE: ...

CROCODILE: are my glasses smudged

CROCODILE: what the fuck is this

TG: no

CROCODILE: holy shit it talks

CROCODILE: are you a god

TG: ....no? litraltly no clue whas happning

CROCODILE: this seems like the sort of shit a god would do

CROCODILE: i am on to you, cat statue lady

TG: aha

TG: i

TG: still have no idea lmamo

CROCODILE: i wonder if there is a way to make you not a cat statue and into.. a god again

CROCODILE: if i had fingers i would be doing that

CROCODILE: 'im watchin u'

CROCODILE: thingy but

CROCODILE: i don't have hands and it's fucking depressing

TG: i didnt relalize you guys didnt have fingers

CROCODILE: yeah we have toes

CROCODILE: but not fingers

TG: i feel sorry for you

CROCODILE: maybe i could grow arms if i believed in myself

TG: hmmm...... buddy imm gonna fidn a way toget you guys some ARMS

TG: somehow

CROCODILE: how are you going to do that if you're a cat statue

TG: i

TG: dont knwow

CROCODILE: with the power of majjyks

TG: YES

TG: that

CROCODILE: majjyk tiem

TG: yes

TG: alas friedn

TG: i do not have.... majyyks

CROCODILE: gasp

CROCODILE: we need to get majyyks

CROCODILE: where can we buy those

CROCODILE: is there a walmart nearby

CROCODILE: let me ask siri

TG: IN THE LOHACSE

CROCODILE: ask siri

TG: i dont have the feet to ask siri for majyks

TG: help

CROCODILE: siri do you have any majjyks

CROCODILE: siri: my majjyks r mine u motherfuckr go buy some urslef

CROCODILE: ok

TG: oh nooooo

TG: siri y :(

TG: : ' (

CROCODILE: if siri will not share her majjyks willingly

CROCODILE: we must take them

CROCODILE: by force

TG: we gogta take em!!

CROCODILE: yeah exactly

CROCODILE: um

CROCODILE: hmm

TG: how we take from an ai tho

CROCODILE: siri give me the majjyks or i wont close all the background apps when i turn off the phone

CROCODILE: siri: no

CROCODILE: siri

CROCODILE: siri: no

CROCODILE: yes

CROCODILE: siri: no

CROCODILE: yes

TG: oh my

CROCODILE: siri: no

TG: gog

TG: is thsis gonna be 4evr

CROCODILE: im gonna fite u siri

TG: ssssiri

TG: siri: fuck you guys

CROCODILE: siri if you dont share the majjyk i will update you to the new stupid os that has tons of swiping and tapping and numbers and shit

CROCODILE: siri: oh fuck

TG: YEAH

CROCODILE: numbers man

CROCODILE: fucks up with all the numbers

TG: SIRI GIVE US YER MAJYYKS

CROCODILE: yeaH SirI

CROCODILE: siri: omg fine u little shits ill give u teh majyks

CROCODILE: thanks siri

TG: ok lil guy... time to get you some ARMS

TG: *does thehth majyyk thingy*

TG: *crocodile gets arms*

CROCODILE: *arms*

CROCODILE: arms

CROCODILE: wow

CROCODILE: such arm

CROCODILE: much appendage

CROCODILE: many limb

TG: omgfgf yeha

CROCODILE: ok now that i have arms

CROCODILE: we need to use the majjyks to make you not a cat statue

CROCODILE: and back into a

CROCODILE: god

TG: my gog

CROCODILE: i know you are one dont lie to me

TG: ur right

TG: i AM a god

CROCODILE: use the majjyks

TG: and with my godpwoers i can,.,,

TG: *gives the entire race of crocodiles arms*

TG: *prosperity +1*

TG: andddd

TG: *turns into a god*

CROCODILE: i knew it

CROCODILE: #exposed

TG: gesp

TG: you cant DO THIS

CROCODILE: so posting this on tweter

TG: youbve btrayed me nak

CROCODILE: hahaha

TG: *unexists crocodiles phone*

CROCODILE: now that i hav ARMS i can

CROCODILE: no

CROCODILE: omg

CROCODILE: how

CROCODILE: how

CROCODILE: what

CROCODILE: what

CROCODILE: HEWAT

TG: thas riht nak

CROCODILE: MYPNHN

CROCODILE: im gonna fite u

TG: dont speak aword of this to ANYBOBDTY

CROCODILE: reexist my phone

TG: *majyyks crocodile to not have arms*

TG: thsi is what uget

CROCODILE: no

CROCODILE: i trusted u

TG: when u want tofigtht a god

TG: 2 bad nak

TG: 2 bad

CROCODILE: im going to steal someones phone and #expose you using my foots

TG: and whtat i have to say tothat is

TG: *unexists all crocodilians arms*

CROCODILE: haha i still have leggos

CROCODILE: *run away wit leggos*

TG: *unexists crocodiles leggos*

CROCODILE: r00

CROCODILE: d

CROCODILE: kangar00

CROCODILE: i ran to austrailia probably

CROCODILE: fuck, a spider

TG: byye nak

CROCODILE: dont leave me i dont want to be killed by a spider

CROCODILE: im sory

CROCODILE: i will not #expose you on tweter

CROCODILE: pls give me leggos

CROCODILE: this spider is highly poison it will kill me

CROCODILE: you are better than this

CROCODILE: i know you re

TG: no im not

CROCODILE: think of all the good times we had

TG: i never was nak

TG: i never was

CROCODILE: this power has gone to ur head

CROCODILE: remember who u used to be

CROCODILE: remember

TG: alass nak

CROCODILE: ur worse than siri

TG: ye but i can majjyyk food

TG: and goodness

CROCODILE: *get kill by spoder* *last werds* fuk u roxeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy

TG: oh no,,,,,

TG: *weeps*

TG: *weeps on nak*

TG: GOODNITE SWEET NAK

[signthetimes-blog]

This is what we want:

·      To find my son’s missing tooth

·      Just a little bit more sleep

·      To be better at planning

·      A four-day working week (or even less)

·      Teleportation, or maybe just crossrail

·      More listening, less shouting

·      Voting reform

·      Finish making the tree house, shelves, waterplay wall

·      Less cars on the streets, more space to play

·      Some new shirts

·      Money scrapped as societal stronghold in favour of value

·      Value duly recognised

·      Value duly valued

·      Education reconstructed to hold value as a core theme and consideration

·      Mass culture emerging as reflective of the above

·      Happiness and welfare increasing as a result of the above

·      A little peace and solitude every day

·      Strength in body and mind

·      For kindness to be valued

·      An end to ripped jeans

·      Widespread reforestation

·      Beavers in more UK river systems

·      No more cuts o UK social provision

·      Much less regular 4 am self loathing

·      Hot sex

·      Peace and love

·      Social norms reconsidered and reaffirmed to hold value as a core theme and consideration

·      Labour government

·      To stay in EU

·      People to be less stressed

·      Lots of hope

·      No divisions in society

·      Everyone to be able to do what they want to do

·      I want to stop climate change

·      No cars in towns

·      Tories out

·      Trump out

·      An end to paranoia induced ideologies

·      Everyone to find happiness at least once

·      For what people say, and what they do, to match up

·      An end to nations

·      For the inconvenient truth to not be so inconvenient

·      For Caz to wear more bright colours

·      Economy reconstructed to hold value as a core theme and consideration

·      To learn that Prince faked his own death

·      For sound proof glass on the windows in my flat

·      A return of fizzy chewits

·      For the revolution to be televised

·      Not to be judged on the way my brain operates- we are all neuro-diverse!!!

·      For the education system to be radically over-hauled- my 16 year old’s potential is being sucked out and squashed due to targets, budget cuts and linear education system

·      For us all to embrace that we are all on a spectrum- for everything (sexuality, neurodiversity, heritage etc.)

·      For us all to wake up to our own greed

·      For us all to listen- if we listened we might actually hear an opinion based on lived experience which challenges our own “presumed” arrogant and ignorant opinions

·      For us all to adopt change- how we consume- it is too easy and lazy to think, “what can I do for the environment” you can do a lot!!!!”

·      For there to be less noise. We have forgotten the art of silence

·      For you not to presume that this is what I want

·      For me to gain some courage and express my confidence with greater conviction

·      To challenge authority with authority

·      Politicians to be accountable to their promises

·      A decent night’s sleep

·      Climate change- society and people to open their eyes to climate change

·      DUP to b*gger off!

·      The world of work reconstructed to hold value as a core theme and consideration

·      Mental health to be as a acceptable to talk about as other illnesses especially in the workplace

·      International commitment to stop the spreading of preventable diseases

·      For the end of living in fear

·      For my generation to change the world

·      The end of fake news (its ridiculous)

·      People to treat each other as human

·      Less pressure on women to look a certain way

·      For women to be treated as equal

·      To find a carbon neutral way of travelling the world

·      Black lives to matter

·      People not to be afraid to love

·      My family and friedns to smile at least 3 times a day

·      For those who have never experienced art to see/watch/experience some

·      To not be so busy all the time

·      Corbyn to be PM

·      More walking and cycling

·      Less driving and air pollution

·      People being citizens and not consumers

·      People acting on reducing their carbon emissions

·      No xenophobia

·      The old print works maker/creative community to prosper

·      More African music

·      Taking power away from Whitehall

·      More funding to alternative arts organisations such as arts admin!

·      To capture my carbon

·      Eat chicken for dinner

·      Lots of friedns

·      See my cousins

·      Go on holidays witj mummy/daddy

·      Go somewhere sunny

·      Learn how to write/read

·      Have more animals: cats and dogs

·      See a duck in the forest

·      Be with daddy

·      Go on the airplane

·      Equality of all

·      No more poverty

·      Sex positive liberation

·      New series of “This Life”

·      No more sexually transmitted diseases

·      Time to dream

·      Ability to be selfless

·      A kick up the ass

·      A grey Italian greyhound

·      Truth and liberty

·      Cancer free world

·      Nuclear free world

·      Hunger free world

·      Trip to the moon

·      Gucci after shave

·      Welfare reconstructed to hold value as a core theme and consideration

·      Diesel accessorises

·      Endless mileage allowance on airline

·      A new pen

·      Endless knowledge

·      Endless love

·      Art

·      Storytelling

·      Memories

·      Imaginations

·      Many worlds

·      Life swapping

·      Infinite resources

·      Adventure

·      Life

·      Time

·      To see my ma happy

·      To make my family proud

·      To achieve the “impossible” – live free!

·      For all to roam earth with freedom

·      To learn, embrace, and share as many cultures, history, languages and food as possible

·      To love my lady forever and always

·      To have a loving family of my own

·      To adopt

·      Humans to respect animals, earth and themselves

·      To remember happiness is the key to freedom. Not money!

·      More opportunities for poor people

·      Another coffee

·      A field of wheat to call my own

·      Donald’s trump’s complexion

·      Ban “the Sun” (the newspaper, not the light source)

·      To move to Scandinavia

·      Scotland to beat England tonight

·      24/7 Corbyn

·      For Theresa May to crawl back to the hole from whence she came

·      Ceaseless summer

·      Another coffee

·      Jez for PM!

·      Everybody to want to be vegan

·      A huge cup of coffee

·      To see the world (and not feel bad about it)

·      A small curly ginger dog called Jasper

·      Equality freedom and happiness for all. Life.

·      Eternal happiness

·      More money

·      Longer weekends

·      To see the invisible colours that only bugs can see

·      Fulfilment

·      Surprise

·      Adventure

·      Passion

·      Knowledge

·      Revised political system

·      Europe!

·      End to poverty

·      End to AIDS and HIV

·      More naps