#so i let myself sleep til 11 am but messed me up i think

[firstluvlatespring]

.

[donttalkaboutmemes]

Dinosaur (2000) Sentence Meme

Under the cut you will find 110 sentences from Dinosaur to use for your enjoyment!      

1.      “Some things start out big, and some things start out small. Very small. But sometimes the smallest thing can make the biggest changes of all.”

2.      “Oh, I always have to go when stuff’s happening.”

3.      “It’s a cold-blooded monster from across the sea. Vicious, flesh-eating.”

4.      “You keep that thing, one day we’ll turn our backs, it’ll be picking us out of its teeth.”

5.      “Things like that eat things like us as snacks.”

6.      “You’d better hurry up. It looks hungry.”

7.      “It’s okay. We’ll teach him to hate meat.”

8.      “Watch his head. I…I mean watch it. He could bite.”

9.      “This monster’s got no teeth. What’s he gonna do, gum us to death?”

10.   “Look at that sweet little face. Does that look like a monster to you?”

11.   “Come on! Pick on somebody your own size!”

12.   “It’s a shame you don’t like kids.”

13.   “Let’s hope he’s found some new material.”

14.   “I’m known as the professor of love and school’s in session!”

15.   “I’m a raging epidemic of romance.”

16.   “To hear him tell it, he put the prime in primate.”

17.   “Listen and learn from the master.”

18.   “Don’t jump into the trees after the first boy with a cute backflip.”

19.   “It’s more fun if you keep them guessing.”

20.   “If I cute backflip doesn’t work, guess.”

21.   “You’re never going to forget this day, so make it one to remember.”

22.   “If you mess up, don’t worry. They’ll never remember.”

23.   “Make ‘em look good, son.”

24.   “With my charm and your brains, no problem.”

25.   “Look what just pulled into town.”

26.   “Hey, haven’t you heard? I am the action!”

27.   “The clan still has one bachelor.”

28.   “It’s never really been his best event.”

29.   “He’s got a tougher hide than mine.”

30.   “If only there was someone on this island for you.”

31.   “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

32.   “Walkin’ backwards, huh? Well, let me know if that gets you there any father.”

33.   “Keep those little legs movin’ or you’ll get left behind.”

34.   “All this pushing and shoving about, just for a place to sleep. I’m not used to this kind of behavior.”

35.   “You wanna get to the nesting grounds alive? Show some backbone.”

36.   “He doesn’t normally warm up to strangers.”

37.   “This is my family. We’re all that’s left.”

38.   “It is the most beautiful place there is, child.”

39.   “Will we find anybody that looks like us there?”

40.   “The last few days, I’ve seen ‘em all shapes and sizes. Who knows what we’ll find.”

41.   “The hard job now is just getting there.”

42.   “An older woman like myself, it’s…well…it’s positively indecent.”

43.   “Why aren’t you uphill with the young bloods?”

44.   “Hm. Let the weak set the pace. Now there’s an idea.”

45.   “Better let me do the thinking from now on.”

46.   “Don’t worry. That’s how my brother treats newcomers. No matter how charming they are.”

47.   “You sure know how to catch a girl’s eyes there, stud.”

48.   “I couldn’t be catching nobody’s eye if I was you.”

49.   “Since when do we take orders from the likes of him?”

50.   “I could hold that monsters brain in the palm of my hand.”

51.   “Better to keep our heads down with this bunch than get ‘em bitten off by those things.”

52.   “You just consider yourself lucky that’s all that’s following us.”

53.   “Hey, wake up. Enough with the beauty sleep. You’re ravishing already.”

54.   “I believe you left a wake-up call for the dawn of time.”

55.   “The charm never stops around here.”

56.   “Unless you got a death wish, you and that little parasite better get moving!”

57.   “I made a real impression on her.”

58.   “That, children, is what’s known as a jerkosaurus.”

59.   “And with that, the ice is broken.”

60.   “We’ve got a lot of first-timers here. Make sure they get it.”

61.   “If this is your first crossing, listen up. There is no water til we reach the other side.”

62.   “On your feet. We can’t let those things eat you.”

63.   “I’m just gonna walk right into that lake until the waters up to my eyeballs and soak it all in.”

64.   “Maybe the rains collected somewhere else.”

65.   “Take a scout and check the entire perimeter.”

66.   “Enough! You have to be strong now!”

67.   “We’ve never gone this long without water. If we keep going like this, we’ll lose half the herd.”

68.   “We save the half that deserves to live.”

69.   “I always did like big girls!”

70.   “I think they’re scared of me.”

71.   “Who wouldn’t be? You are pretty scary.”

72.   “A lot of us are on our own now.”

73.   “Why did you help that old one?”

74.   “Is that you talking or your brother?”

75.   “We watch out for each other, we all stand a chance of getting to your nesting grounds.”

76.   “You led them right to us!”

77.   “You can’t sacrifice them like this!”

78.   “If you ever interfere again, I’ll kill you.”

79.   “I’ve got blisters on my blisters.”

80.   “Hey, uh, you don’t look so good. Let me help you.”

81.   “Save your pity. I just need some rest.”

82.   “If you change your mind, we’ll be in those caves. It’s dark, but at least it’s dry.”

83.   “It’s the dark part I’m having trouble with.”

84.   “May I remind you that he’s one of them?”

85.   “Looks like he’s one of us now.”

86.   “If I could sleep that deep, I’d be in paraside.”

87.   “If you could sleep that deep, honey, you’d be dead.”

88.   “Why is he doing this, pushing them on with false hope?”

89.   “It’s hope that’s gotten us this far.”

90.   “Why doesn’t he let them accept their fates?”

91.   “It’s your choice, not your fate.”

92.   “Back to what? It’s gone. We’re not meant to survive.”

93.   “How dare you wase that good fortune by simply giving up!”

94.   “The worst of it is you allowed an old fool like me to believe I was needed, that I still had a purpose.”

95.   “I, for one, am not willing to die here.”

96.   “Our survival, our future, is over these rocks.”

97.   “Watch them, they’re tough. If they can do it, so can you.”

98.   “He’s led that monster right to us!”

99.   “If we scatter, he’ll pick us off. Stand together.”

100. “Welcome home.”

101.  “Move over, everybody. Bringing in babies is what I do best.”

102.  “Somebody wants to meet you.”

103.  “Oh, aren’t you the sweetest little small fry I ever did see.”

104.  “Meet your dad. He’s not as crazy as he looks.”

105.  “Let met get a good look at you. Yup, you’re your father’s son.”

106.  “Hey, look what I found! New neighbors!”

107.   “Are you ladies up for a game of monkey in the middle?”

108.   “None of us really know what changes, big or small, lie ahead.”

109.   “One thing is certain, our journey’s not over.”

110.   “We can only hope that in some small way, our time will be remembered.”

[ahkaahshi]

sleeping over at their s/o’s house for the first time [scenarios]

pairings: sakusa kiyoomi; hirugami sachirou; kuroo tetsurou x fem reader

genre: fluff and humor, as per usual

warning(s): n/a

notes: kinda popped off on hirugami’s part. couldn't help myself. not sorry bout it either. can’t wait til we get to see more of his cute lil face in the anime.

he is so painfully awkward I love him

will just stand in the entryway with his duffle slung over his shoulder, staring straight at you until you tell him when he can put his stuff

this literally isn’t his first time over at your house but he acts like it???

poor baby’s obviously nervous about ~ spending the night ~

immediately washes his hands

brings his own pillow

asks if you’ve sanitized all your surfaces recently/if anyone in your household has been sick lately

does he wanna play video games? not until he’s wiped down all the controllers.

does he wanna watch real housewives? no, but you put it on anyway because you know he secretly loves the drama

does he want a snack? possibly? but refuses to eat on your bed because lying on crumbs is nasty

all he does is get under the covers and hang out

only moves to brush his teeth and, of course, wash his hands

will do a face mask with you but only after thoroughly reading the contents of the bottle/package

wears his hoodie and sweats to bed

is asleep before 10pm

2/10. total party pooper who only gets points because he’s hot and dislikes the same housewives as you do

Moments after releasing a rather loud guffaw at a funny scene from the television show you have playing on your laptop, you hear a small groan echo from beside you. Turning your head to the source of the noise brings your attention to your boyfriend, whose tall form rested on the bed beside you, ensconced in your blankets. His eyelids flutter open and his eyes the color of charcoal fasten on you before narrowing in a small glare of annoyance from underneath the sea of black waves atop his head.

Maybe you would’ve felt even the slightest bit intimidated if his face wasn’t close to being absorbed by the yellow fabric of his hoodie--and if he hadn’t flattened his hair against his forehead by closing the drawstrings to secure his hood around his head.

“Kiyo!” you whine, crossing your arms in front of you chest, “Were you really asleep just now?”

His dark eyebrows furrow as he answers matter-of-factly, “Yes. You know I go to bed at ten o’clock, (f/n). It’s ten thirty.”

You roll your (e/c) eyes at him and protest, “But this is a sleepover! Would it kill you to stay awake a little longer so you can spend some precious time with your beloved girlfriend?”

“Lack of sleep can lead to sickness. Sickness can lead to death. So, yes, staying awake longer to spend precious time with my beloved girlfriend could kill me.”

“I hate you.”

He lets out a long sigh and reaches over towards your laptop to close it, putting an end to your Real Housewives marathon. Once he’s moved it off of your bed, one of his arms snakes around your waist and pulls your body down towards the mattress. His midnight gaze doesn’t falter as he says, “If you get sick, I won’t be able to spend time with you like this, so sleep with me.”

Your heart skips a beat at his tenderly spoken words, and you crawl underneath the covers so you can place your head on his muscular chest and curl up beside him. The feeling of his warmth surrounding you is enough to make you melt into his arms and forgive him for completely ditching you in favor of sleep.

“(F/n).”

“Yes, baby?”

“If you kick me off the bed, this will be our last sleepover.”

sweet boy who is very excited to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house!!

brings snacks and movies

he enjoys doing any activity with you, whether it’s watching movies, playing video/board games, or just cuddling on the couch and talking

not hard to please at all!!!

watches rom coms with you. secretly a hopeless romantic

you’ll probably spend at least ten minutes of your night trying to catch pieces of popcorn in your mouths

and another ten doing the same thing with m&ms

poor boy is too tall to fit under your blankets, so you have to give him an extra one for his legs and feet

bedtime attire consists of boxers with corgis on them, a sweater, and crew socks to keep his tootsies warm 🥺

brings you a pair of matching, corgi-patterned sleeping shorts bc he wants to twin with you

your parents are gone, meaning you can do chaotic activities...

... like baking at 2am!!

he loves to bake (and you can’t convince me otherwise). pls bake with him

wants to stay up all night with you but ends up passing out around 3am after y'all eat all the cookies you made together

11/10, best sleepover ever

Few things were more romantic than spending an evening with your boyfriend on your hands and knees, against the cold, tile floor of the kitchen, cleaning up the aftermath of the mess you’d created.

Lifting your gaze from the white goop coating the flooring, you glance over at Hirugami, who looks completely unfazed and unbothered despite his face still being decorated with dollops of whipped cream. Beholding this sight once more sends you into another fit of laughter that makes it hard for you to keep yourself steady.

“What?” he asks, a small smile creeping onto his lips at seeing you so amused.

In between breaths, you manage to ask, “Why’ve you still got whipped cream on your face?”

With a roll of his chestnut brown eyes, he uses his fingers to swipe some of it off so he can help himself to another serving. “Obviously,” he scoffs sassily, “I’m saving it for later.” His smart comment makes you snort rather unattractively, which, in turn, causes chuckles to pour out from his mouth. “I’m assuming that’s what you’re doing too, right?”

Your (e/c) eyes widen, since you thought you’d done a good job of clearing up the results of your whipped cream battle from your face. A glance at your reflection in the glass of the oven where the cookies were slowly baking soon proved you wrong. Instead of being irritated by this discovery, however, you let out another, wheezing laugh and fell onto your side.

To any outsider, the situation would’ve looked rather strange--an incredibly tall volleyball player dressed only in corgi-patterned boxers, a sweater, and socks, face covered in whipped cream as he fell about laughing with his girlfriend who wore a similar ensemble and was sporting the same whipped cream situation. However, in your defense, it was two o’clock am, and you were high on sugar.

"Come over here and I’ll get the rest off your face, then,” Hirugami suggests, extending his long arms towards you that beckon you closer to him. After you scoot closer to him, he pulls you into his embrace and starts peppering your skin reddened from laughing so heartily with kisses. With each press of his lips against your face, your heart flutters in your chest.

He only pulls away from you when the oven beeps, alerting you that the cookies you’ve been awaiting are finally ready. But he does so with hesitation, seeing as he’d been caught up in savoring the sweet taste of your lips instead.

“You ready to eat some cookies?” he asks with a grin.

Your reply makes him snicker: “Always.”

is fully prepared to stay up the entire night (spoiler alert: doesn't)

made an entire party playlist for y'all to listen to throughout the evening

expect lots of dancing, vibing, singing, and buzzfeed unsolved episodes

brings dance dance revolution over to your house and then proceeds to challenge you to a dance off

was not prepared for what you brought to the table

tries twerking to distract you but still fails

will go on a midnight mcdonalds run with you

is the kinda person to share deep, late night thoughts with

only with him can your conversations go from discussing the questions of human existence to debating which form of potatoes is the most elite

will 100% do face masks with you to keep his complexion lookin godly

INSISTS on watching scary movies

expectation: “don’t worry, babe; I got you!!”

reality: is visibly shaking underneath the covers, questioning all the shadows in your house

wears only a pair of shorts to bed even tho it’s cold af (he runs hot, if ya know what I mean heheh)

8/10. would’ve scored the last 2 points if he hadn’t stolen the blankets and made you wonder if your house was haunted

"(F/n).”

The familiar and gentle voice of your boyfriend rouses you from your semi-conscious state, and you hear the sheets of your bed rustle.

“I’m so tired, Tetsu... what is it?” you wonder groggily, not even bothering to open your eyes to see what’s upset him.

“I think your house is haunted,” is his response. Though he speaks calmly and coherently, his hazel eyes are wide with fear and darting around the dark bedroom.

“Oh, stop. I knew it was a bad idea to watch those supernatural Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes before bed.”

The bed sinks behind you, and you feel the warmth of the blanket he’d stolen from you earlier around your body as he pulls you towards him so your back is flush against his chest. While you appreciate his closeness to you, you can tell he’s far from relaxed. The grip his fingers have around one of your shoulders is tight, as if he’s using it as a stress ball.

You murmur his name with indignation and pry his cold hand off your shoulder, but press a gentle kiss against the back of it. “Baby, go to sleep.”

He noticeably stiffens when a quiet whoosh sounds from another part of your house. “What the heck was that?” he asks from where his face is buried in the back of your neck, too afraid to look around and risk finding something he might not want to see.

“The dishwasher.”

“Y-Yeah,” he stammers, “the dishwasher... of course...” 

With a gentle groan, you lift your head so you can turn and press a gentle kiss against his forehead in an attempt to soothe him. As soon as you plop back down onto your pillow, Kuroo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, desperate to get a wink of sleep.

The sound of a creak brings both of you to attention moments later, however, and your heart begins to race.

“That was the house settling... right?” you whisper.

He pulls the blanket over both of your heads, fully cloaking your bodies beneath it and says, “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go with that.”

At this point, you realize it’s going to be a long night for reasons other than those you’d expected.

[jaskiersbrokenlute]

Lute’s 200 follower prompt list

(All based on song lyrics by Keaton Henson, amalgamated by yours truly)

Angst

1. Sweetheart, what have you done to us? 2. I’m sorry I broke it, never forgive me.  3. Tire of me if you will my dear, but I will not tire of you. 4. She broke my head, it’s been four years and this does not end.  5. If you must die, die knowing your life was my life’s best part.  6. I’m just as damn disappointed as you only I just do better to hide it.  7. I’m truly alone and I like it.  8. How can you sleep knowing, that you’d be much better off there with him.  9. This has been the best of me, I hope you end up missing me.  10. They’ll die or leave you either way.  11. ‘Did you love me like the way you wrote?’ ‘I’m afraid so.’ 12. How could I have known you were the air I breathe if I don’t believe in love? 13. What is good lust but love without trust? 14. I’m amazed that you ever loved me. 

15. She left him and he left everything.  16. Teach me how to love you like I wrote and say it like I mean it when I don’t 17. I’m a tough luck friend and I reckon she’ll stay with me ‘til the end. It means more than I pretend. 18. Is it love you regret? 19. Darling, your eyes are so still when you speak. Do they weep? 20. Please don’t cry or say goodbye.  21. Now that you’re all I have, is it fair to love me too? 22. Do you wake up lonely everyday? 23. Let’s just have this fight today, say I’m worthless and I feel betrayed.  24. Don’t leave I’ve got more to say.  25. You know one day there’ll be hell to pay.  26. Please don’t be home late.  27. I’ll be right here if you need a failure, my love.  28. And I’ll be the place you hate.  29. How can you fail me now that I’m here on the ground? 30. Tell me I’m worthy of something. Love at least.  31. I still don’t cry, I’ve been meaning to.  32. I’m hoping I don’t die after you.  33. I still need to be loved. 34. You’re enough.  35. I’m frightened to death you’ll forget. Don’t forget me.  36. She seems disappointed, when I say that I’m not happy yet.  37. When I say do you love me, say you don’t know.  38. Just don’t leave me, baby stay here.  39. I just can’t bear to be apart.  40. Be near me lover, and be another that I can’t please,  41. I’ve been so lonely.  42. How could you allow me to love you? How cruel a thing.  43. If you’d only come back now, I’d not let you down again.  44. I guess I could have been, a better man.  45. I seek comfort in being alone.  46. Does he know, not to talk about your dad? 47. Do you notice when you’re sad? 48. I don’t feel well, can’t you tell? 49. Please forget me, you were right dear. 50. Though I’ll miss you lover, I am weak and therefore fold.  51. This is love, this is hell, this sweet plague that follows me.  52. I feel love, I feel alone.  53. I just wish you would come home. 54. There’s no one else. I loved you more than I love myself.  55. I see pictures now of you two and it makes me sick.  56. Teach me how to hold you in my arms, without squeezing too damn tight and causing harm.  57. Give me lessons in your ways, but don’t expect me to change.  58. I never loved you enough. 59. Please do not hurt me love, I am a fragile one.  60. As we lie in bed I feel lonely. 61. I some ways I feel I do love you, babe I’m not in love with you.  62. I found her but now she is gone.  63. I was better where, I was miserable why didn’t you leave me there? 64. I love you, please don’t go.  65. Is this all that you can give me back? 66. If you’ve no more to say than that, oh well I’ll be leaving and I won’t come back.  67. You think you’re better than them, but they don’t have to pretend.  68. Believe me, this loneliness won’t go away.  69. I’m just getting started let me offend. 70. All I want is to be left alone.  71. Can you see, they feed you lies thus keeping you weak.  72. Leave me, my heart is dead for all to see.  73. Please just come here, don’t fight with me.  74. Don’t call me lover, it’s not enough.  75. After all you’ve put me through, this one’s for you.  76. I’m in bad love. Don’t feel sad love.  77. I love you, but I worry about letting you leave.  78. It leaves me pretty good at pretending I’m fine.  79. I’m saving you up, all for the day you leave.  80. I know it’s ending.  81. Speak up, I’m losing you.  82. Hate me to death if you must.  83. Am I waiting to lose you? 84. I’m just so fucking sorry that you’re afraid.  85. I’ve tried so long not to cry that I don’t know if I can when you die, But I’m sure as damn hell gonna try.  86. I’m afraid to let myself be frightened.  87. I’ll play until my fingers bleed just to get you out of me.  88. I’m afraid.  89. One day you’ll thank the lord I didn’t stay.  90. Bury it all down underneath, it’s unhealthy but it sure keeps all the pain out.  91. I’m so damn scared of dying without you.  92. I see the dark things you all try to hide.  93. I won’t give up, not until I’m holding you.  94. Don’t let go of my hand.  95. Your love’s leaving me loveless.  96. I won’t leave here until I’m back with you.  97. Please don’t let me sleep.  98. We can’t pretend that I’m just like him.  99. Lead me on, I just something to stop me from jumping the gun.  100. I’m not coming back without you.  101. I’d write you a song if you’d just break my heart.  102. I’m a sick kind of lover and I’m cruel to myself.  103. I’m a writer who’s nothing if he’s not in hell.  104. Mistreat me and put me through hell.  105. If I die before I reach you, please know I meant to love you until I did.  106. Tell my friends goodbye.  107. I loved her, and left her too soon.  108. I’m scared that you’ll know what to do if I die before you.  109. I didn’t dare earn their respect.  110. If I’m to die before I hold you, know my arms were the worse off for it.  111. I’m tired of feeling alone.  112. Please tell me how to let go.  113. Your book will end just fine, but I’m a different story.  114. When I get tired and eventually leave, I’ll get back on the road and leave you in peace.  115. I’m just hoping I wont miss you today.  116. It hurts more with every breath.  117. I’m all used, so there’ll be nothing left for you.  118. I am alone and I need you to be kind.  119. Do you have time to tell me pretty lies? 120. Maybe I didn’t treat you quite as good as I could have.  121.I didn’t love you as often as I could.  122. There are things I should have said and done, I just never took the time.  123. I made you feel second best.  124. I’m so sorry, I was blind.  125. Please don’t walk away. 

Fluff 

126. You love is the thing that I need to remind me I’m living.  127. I know that it’s hard for you to tell me the truth, but while we are doing so (name) I love you. 128. Miss you terribly already.  129. I still worry more about you.  130. You are infinitely interesting to me.  131. It was so unexpected, my heart’s unprotected.  132. I’m so thankful for the way you look at me.  133. You don’t like to be touched, let alone kissed. Does he know where your lips begin.  134. I wish I had the guts to say, you look the best today.  135. I’ll love you, if I don’t have to.  136. Why did she finally leave? Cause all you think of is me.  137. Despite the bad moods she never goes away.  138. I know every mark on your hand.  139. Come on baby, make me fall in love with you.  140. Would it be so bad?  141. I woke to find your tired arms around me.  142. I’ve still got songs in me yet.  143. Love, take it easy on me. I’m older now and I long to be twenty-three.  144. I’ll allow, my heart to get over you now.  145. I’ll be fine, and you’ll be alright.  146. You know me, I worry.  147. Can I get lost in you? 148. I haven’t many words to say,  I thought about you everyday.  149. I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.  150. I’ll be your brother, I’ll be your lover. What do you need? 151. You’re the one that I love the most.  152. Love, I feel you know me better than most.  153. In spite of real distance we’ll always be close.  154. Something my soul needs, is you lying next to me.  155. Damn, I love you.  156. I’d kill just to watch as you’re sleeping.  157. Damn it, I’m calling you mine.  158. Work to leave some part of you on this earth.  159. Just live.  160. You’re kind and you’re beautiful too.  161. You seem to look through me, I wonder what you see.  162. I figure you love to read, don’t look for the fault, like me.  163. I wish I could wake at dawn, to see you without makeup on.  164. I feel I know your smile, like I saw it when I was a child.  165. I’d give you all I have.  166. I got addicted to us.  167. I wanna love you while I can.  168. I want to live with you until I die.  169. We’ll miss you to death when you go.  170. It seems like yesterday, you took my breath away.  171. Must you be leaving so soon? 172. I know you’re sad, sweetheart, but it will pass.  173. She was dear to you, so you cannot be blamed for feeling low.  174. If I could fix it then I would.  175. Come here, give me time to let you in.  176. I’m hoping you fall into me.  177. Here’s to us.  178. I would walk all the miles if you’d play your part.  179. Just love me and hold me, and then let me be.  180. I would love you forever.  181. Would you love me and leave me with something to write?  182. I would love you with all of my heart if I could.  183. I hope to be holding you soon.  184. I feel like I’m just what you need.  185. I don’t let anyone in, but I can’t help but let this begin.  186. You seem happy. I can tell.  187. Love, I know you’ll be alright.  188. I know I’m a mess and I love most people less.  189. They don’t love you like I love you.  190. Hold me tight in your arms.  191. Give me glimmers of hope.  192. Let me lay in your bed, talk of things you don’t know.  193. Just don’t fall for me.  194. I’m born everyday just to love you.  195. I was as far as I could be when I fell.  196. I’m looking for a lover who doesn’t need truth.  197. I need you.  198. Like the thickest moss, you grew on me.  199. It’s the worst parts of you I admire.  200. I have fought battles with nothing but words.  201. Tell me you’ll be mine.  203. How hard I’ve tried, love.  204. You were always on my mind.  205. I’m so happy that you’re mine.  206. Tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died.  207. Give me one more chance to keep you.  208. Visit me everyday. 

Hurt/Comfort

209. I think I love you, please don’t be afraid of me.  210. I won’t sing ‘til you know me 211. Here’s to you you miserable fuck.  212. I’ve been thinking of leaving,  213. I’m gonna fuck all my plans.  214. I’m hoping I don’t die after you. 215. It is love, but I fear it won’t do.  216. Tell me what you want from me.  217. Was it really that worth writing about? 218. It’s a goddamn shame that you’re not here with me.  219. It won’t be long ‘til you know my songs, then you’ll know and you’ll come back.  220. How am I expected to behave, when I’m alone with myself everyday.  221. There’s a whole lot of nothing to me.  222. Please don’t wait up for me.  223. I’m afraid that’s lost on me.  224. I’ll write until there’s nothing left of me.  225. I’ll cry for help when I need it, thanks.  226. Are you still listening? 227. It may not just be tomorrow, it may be the rest of your life.  228. I’m deep undercover, i don’t look like me.  229. I win when you lose.  230. Darling, you’ve been my greatest defeat.  231. We cling with desperate fingers onto life.  232. I was starting on hoping you’d stay.  233. I don’t want to be the best.  234. I’m going to live if it kills me.  235. The world is unfair and it will not change.  236. I won't be the damndest bit fucking surprised.  237. The distance won’t comfort me for long.  238. Please don’t look at me.  239. How is the sex, love? I hope it’s the best part of him.  240. I struggle with stages and can’t take bad reviews.  241. I didn’t hold you all those long and lonely times.  242. I guess I never told you. 

---------------

Send in some prompts and prompts! 

(feel free to reblog if u want prompts from your very own followers)

[chloelucia13]

Nothing Personal: the Playlist

Link

1. Peace - Taylor Swift

All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret

2. Crave You - Flight Facilities ft. Giselle

Why can't you want me like the other boys do? They stare at me while I stare at you Why can't I keep you safe as my own? One moment I have you the next you're gone

3. Allies or Enemies - The Crane Wives

I swear I didn’t mean what I said I swear I didn’t mean it ... All is fair in love and war, but I can’t fight with you anymore This will be the death of me Are we allies or enemies?

4. Lemons - Brye

And I don't wanna encourage your abusive behaviour But I just can't let you win I'm legitimately tired of being walked all over By these insecure babies who think that they're men

5. Even if it’s a Lie - Matt Maltese

You're the girl to push away my doubt But it's too late and we’re too young to know

6. Champagne Problems - Taylor Swift

But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shredAnd hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing

7. Cellophane - FKA Twigs

Didn't I do it for you? Why don't I do it for you? Why won't you do it for me? When all I do is for you?

8. Never Gonna Love Again - Lykke Li

How can we Turn around the heartache Oh I, I'm alone tonight babe And I'm never gonna love again

9. Landfill - Daughter

'Cause this is torturous electricity Between both of us and this is Dangerous 'cause I want you so much But I hate your guts

10. Hoax - Taylor Swift

You have beaten my heart Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

11. I Threw Glass at my Friend’s Eyes and now I’m on Probation - Destroy Boys

You're ruining my life day by day The butterflies you give me are literally making me nauseous This is disgusting, like seriously dude What do you think you're doing?

12. Love Love Love - Of Monsters and Men

Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away And maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad... bad person Well, baby I know

13. The Hearse - Matt Maeson 

I am the man we both couldn't stand I can't wash off the dirt from my hands What was it like to feel in love? What was it like to feel in love?

14. Greek Tragedy - The Wombats

This method acting might pay our bills But soon enough there'll be a different role to fill I love this feeling But I hate this part

15. Gold Rush - Taylor Swift

I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush Everybody wants you But I don't like a gold rush

16. Space Song - Beach House

What makes this fragile world go round? Were you ever lost? Was she ever found?

17. Boys Don’t Cry - The Cure

I would say I'm sorry If I thought that it would change your mind But I know that this time I have said too much, been too unkind

18. All You Had to do was Stay - Taylor Swift

Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made People like you always want back the love they pushed aside But people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye

19. She - Dodie

and I'll be okay Admiring from afar Cause even when she's next to me We could not be more far apart

20. John My Beloved - Sufjan Stevens

So can we pretend sweetly Before the mystery ends? I am a man with a heart that offends With its lonely and greedy demands

21. Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

Let me in the walls You've built around We can light a match And burn them down

22. Fidelity - Regina Spektor

I never loved nobody fully Always one foot on the ground And by protecting my heart truly I got lost In the sounds I hear in my mind

23. Folding Chair - Regina Spektor

Maybe one day you'll understand I don't want nothing from you but to sweetly hold your hand Till that day, just Please don't be so down

24. Enough for You - Olivia Rodrigo

And maybe I'm just not as interesting As the girls you had before But God, you couldn't have cared less About someone who loved you more

25. Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel

Oh, my love I know, I am a cold cold man ... You're the only one worth seeing The only place worth being The only bed worth sleeping's the one right next to you

26. What are you so Afraid Of - Videoclub

What are you so afraid of? Is it love wasting your time?

27. Love - Daughter

I know you regret it, love You told me so many times But I still wonder Why You left with her And left me behind

28. I Hurt Too - Katie Herzig 

When an ocean sits right between us There is no sign that we'll ever cross You should know now that I feel the loss

29. Renegade - Big Red Machine ft. Taylor Swift

There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway And if I would've known how many pieces you had crumbled into I might have let them lay ... You wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody Is it insensitive for me to say "Get your shit together so I can love you?" Is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything? Or do you just not want to? ... You fire off missiles ’cause you hate yourself But do you know you're demolishing me? And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave

30. Happier Than Ever - Billie Eilish

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet Never told anyone anything bad 'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything And all that you did was make me fuckin' sad

31. Rules - Jayme Dee

You say you know love, but you are just reflecting words you hear No iron in your veins to give you any sense of pain or fear It's just another lie, it's just another calculation And when the power's out, we're just another old sensation

32. Bitter Heart - Memi ft. Staffan Carlen

Suddenly you look like a stranger A face I knew, but I must've forgotten Emotional flicker, you were my everything

---

Oh, I wish that you hadn't pulled the trigger Shot me down with my bitter heart

33. Brush Fire - Sierra Eagleson

How are you, lovely? Reddest rose between all these thorns Morning coffee And a voice to settle all the storms It's kind of funny Hearing you don't need me anymore Just say you love me

34. Sea of Doubts - Azure Ray

A spectator I played my part But nothing could move this heart Until i held the boys hand The little one spoke like a man He showed me death and said This is how you know you're alive

35. First Love/Late Spring - Mitski

So please hurry leave me I can't breathe Please don't say you love me 

36. Deep End - Birdy

Ooh, how do we mend? Ooh, I didn't choose to depend on you It's out of our hands Maybe it will work out in the end I don't know if you mean everything to me And I wonder, can I give you what you need? Don't want to find I've lost it all Too scared to have no one to call So can we just pretend?

37. And the Boys - Angus and Julia Stone

Well, it's been days now And you've changed your mind again All the cracks in the walls Reminds you of things we said And I could tell you That I won't hurt you this time But it's just safer To keep you in this heart of mine

38. Strange - Celeste

I am still me You are still you In the same place Isn't it strange? How people can change From strangers to friends Friends into lovers And strangers again

39. The Cut that Always Bleeds - Conan Gray

To say you loved me all along And kissed the bruises 'til they're gone Bittersweet, 'cause I can't breathe Inside your arms

'Cause if you're gonna leave Better leave, better do it fast Can't live another minute Bleeding from my back 'Cause I don't have another one For you to stab And I don't want to have Another heart attack

---

But even though you're killing me I, I need you like the air I breathe I need, I need you more than me I need you more than anything Please, please

40. James - Maggie Rogers

"Too young, too thoughtless, " I said to myself With idealistic visions all perched on the shelf And I'm still hoping, waiting for you to come home

---

Maybe you're in love or hung up on another And maybe you found a far prettier lover And maybe you'll paint her a picture like you did for me

41. Cry- Cigarettes After Sex

But I need to tell you something My heart just can't be faithful for long I swear I'll only make you cry

Maybe I'd change for you someday But I can't help the way I feel Wish I was good, wish that I could Give you my love now

Tags: @summerdaughter​, @spid3rgwen​, @girlfriday007​, @lmaosupertuff​, @pansexualproblemchild​, @toothhurtyam​, @claudiaatje​, @angstysebfan​, @tyzerman91​, @hawsx3​, @slut-for-buck, @foggyempathfireperson, @etherealghostface​, @bby-aj​, @stolenxkissess​, @joseyrw​

[justtogetthrough]

I'm on a medical leave from work due to my recent breakdown and I swore I wasn't going to spend the time off just playing minecraft, I would do ~self care~ and sort my mess of a life out... but this week all I've really done is play minecraft.

I mean I HAVE gone to the gym almost every day and I have gotten a couple household tasks done, but the majority of my day is being spent sleeping and gaming and I feel like coming back to work still a hot mess is going to jeopardize my job. My manager seems to think I can "get better" in 3 weeks and I'm gonna try, but like... I am hella depressed and suicidal and all I can really do is hope that I can put in place some healthier routines that I will then maintain once I go back to work :/

I keep hearing my manager say "you need to be well to do this job" ring through my ears and it's giving me so much anxiety bc it low-key sounds like a warning that I'm going to be let go. On top of that, I texted her this evening to pass along a message from someone I got via text (and therefore didn't receive an out of office notification), and her response sent my guard up because she came off as really annoyed with me. I'm trying not to worry about my job security but it sounds like she's going to try to convince me this isn't the job for me since firing me due to psychiatric reasons is illegal.

Further, my sleep schedule has shifted by HOURS and I am having constant nightmares again for the first time in years. The week before I went on leave I was increasingly unable to wake up and start work at 9 am (I was starting at 9:45/10/10:15). I haven't been letting myself sleep in this week and have had my step kid helping get me out of bed around 10:30-11 am, which is a normal weekend wake up time for me, but I'm so anxious and hypervigilant at night that I'm not getting tired til well after midnight, not falling asleep til 1 or 2 am, and all the pharmaceuticals I use to help me sleep are just... not working. Typically I'm in bed by 9:30/10 and asleep by 11 with the help of a variety of pills.

Everything feels upside down and I am so stressed out by this pressure to be better, to be well, that it's making me more suicidal because I don't think I /can/ be well. And I'd rather kill myself than have my life actually go to shit.

Everything sucks and I don't know what else to do to make it not suck 🙌

[eleanorohara]

red bull & hennessy • a gerri/roman playlist

01. geyser | mitski you’re my number one / you’re the one i want 02. roman’s beat — “hearts” | nicholas britell — 03. a’int together | king princess darling, do you think that if i talk enough / i’ll make you wanna be mine? 04. cruel summer | taylor swift and i screamed ‘for whatever it’s worth, i love you, a’int that the worst thing you ever heard?’ 05. dreams | brandi carlile i can feel the way i can just come clean / i keep it to myself, i know what it means 06. city swans | neko case i can’t look at you straight on / you’re made from something different than i know 07. your woman | white town well i guess what they say is true / i could never spend my life with a man like you 08. dinner & diatribes | hozier a pillar i am of pride / scarcely can speak for my thinking what you’d do to me tonight 09. say it | maggie rogers and if it makes you lose your breath / and if it makes you just forget that all of it’s a bit insane 10. illicit affairs | taylor swift don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby / look at this godforsaken mess that you made me 11. gumball blue | neko case but me and me and my whole life, a fever and the phone / how was i to know, sorry stained my mouth gumball blue 12. addictions | lucy dacus i’m still a nervous kid after all this time / can you imagine what it’s like to be here with you now? 13. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored | ariana grande i know i shouldn’t think about it, you know what you’re doin’ to me / you’re singin’ my songs in the streets 14. favourite colour | carly rae jepsen when i’m close to you, we blend into my favourite colour / i’m bright baby blue 15. bad love | the aces they don’t really need to know our business, they don’t really need to know what we do / they don’t really need to know where we go when i’m alone with you 16. red bull & hennessy | jenny lewis i’m on fire, c’mon and get next to me / i wanna ride with you 17. good in bed | dua lipa yeah, we don’t know how to talk / but damn, we know how to fuck 18. make up | ariana grande my energy and attitude don’t really coincide / i’m stayin’ mad all day so we can let it out tonight 19. m.i.l.f. $ | fergie been workin’ at your service to give it to ya / didn’t mean to make you nervous 20. rich girl | lake street dive it’s a bitch, girl, and it’s gone too far / ‘cause you know it don’t matter anyway 21. sedated | hozier you and i nursing on a poison that never stung / our teeth and tongue are lined with the scum of it 22. savior complex | phoebe bridgers i’m too tired to have a pissing contest / all the bad dreams that you hide, show me yours i’ll show you mine 23. leaning on you | haim i might sleep in past all my alarms / but you take care of us when i make it tough 24. dancing with our hands tied | taylor swift i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us / baby, can we dance through an avalanche? 25. california king bed | rihanna in this california king bed, we’re ten thousand miles apart 26. in my head | ariana grande boy, i invented you / gucci tennis shoes, running from your issues 27. liability | lorde the truth is i am a toy people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore / and then they are bored of me 28. beautiful child | fleetwood mac i bite my lip, can you send me away / you touch, i have no choice, i have to stay 29. nwfwmb | hozier if i was born as a blackthorn tree, i’d wanna be felled by you / held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies 30. the next time you say “forever” | neko case the time time you say forever i’ll punch you in your face / just because you don’t believe it, doesn’t mean i didn’t mean it 31. slow show | the national i wanna hurry home to you / put on a slow, dumb show for you and crack you up 32. all dressed in white | king princess i want to be good but it’s gonna take time / so steal all my cigarettes, tell me i’m the best, everything’s gonna be fine 33. let’s get married | bleachers i’m gonna get right for you honey / take all of my medicine, spend you all my money 34. two slow dancers | mitski it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again / but as it is, and it is, we’re just two slow dancers, last ones out

[jcolden]

     ❝𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖞𝖔𝖚❞

                  – – a Julian Colden playlist.

1. “What It Means To Be Alone” The Dear Hunter

Oh, you were born with the sun And oh, you will die with the moon And everything you thought you had you lost But now you'd never lose what you don't have

Prayers from above Never answered quite enough Looking up Never offered you too much Now the only one you have is you

2. “If G-D Don’t Follow Me (Down This Road)” Trubdr. Adam Road, Danielle Parente

If God don't follow me down this road If God don't follow me down this road

When you try to live You want to die When everything you feel collides God don't follow me Down this road Down this road

3. “Hellfire” Barns Courtney

Run in an alleyway through a dead end street Murdering promises that I just can't keep We could sing pretty melodies On the unmade bed Slow-dancing to a silhouette Cause I ain't dead yet

Ain't no chariots of fire come to take me home I'm lost in the woods and I wander on

Hellfire, hellfire, take my soul I'm waiting, waiting, I'm ready to go Yeah, mothers, children, lock your doors I'm waiting I'm ready to go

4. “Bible Belt” Dry The River

You say "My love, you take the cards that you're dealt ‘Cause there's no guiding light arching a line to Bethlehem If it's dark outside, you light the fire yourself."

Darling, when the ice caps melt When the devil's in the bible belt Don't cower in your bed

I'll be on the 545 You can meet me at the railway line And don't look so scared

‘Cause we've been through worse than this before we could talk The trick of it is don't be afraid anymore Oh, the trick of it is don’t be afraid anymore

5. “Lord Have Mercy” Empires

I think I see things some other way I think I've marched as an angel into the devil's cage I wanna fuck up society and piss in its grave I wanna love somebody in a selfless way

It's time for the end and beginning to meet Time for what I lost to come back to me I wanna challenge my death by coming back to life I'm gonna do it all over, gonna make things right

Lord have mercy Lord have mercy Lord have mercy On me

6. “Grip” Seeb, Bastille

We got drunk on this unholy wine To deliver us from our own minds The promise of a better time 'Til we’re feeling barely human

We don’t know what’s good for us 'Cause if we did, we might not do it Who knows where our limits lie? We won’t discover ‘til we push it

'Cause the devil's got my arms And it pulls me back into the night And I should just walk away, away But it grips me 'Cause the devil's got my arms And it pulls me back into the night 'Cause the devil's got my arms And it pulls me back into the night

I would rather forget and wash my memory clean Oh, I would rather forget and wash my memory clean I would rather forget (would rather forget) Wash my memory clean Oh, I would rather forget And wash my memory clean

7. “That’s What Heaven Feels Like” The Dirty Nil

I'm a million impulse decisions tonight Back in the city, howling, but I won't bite Bored of a certain safety Got me a death wish, baby

No, I don't believe in the long romance No, no, no Crash, leave a flaming vapor trail and Maybe one slow dance 'Cause you wouldn't know how it feels Under the tread of your wheels

Caught up like a canine Howling in your headlights Rolling through the windshield That's what heaven feels like

8. “Arsonist’s Lullabye” Hozier

When I was sixteen, my senses fooled me Thought gasoline was on my clothes I knew that something would always rule me I knew this scent was mine alone

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons Always keep them on a leash

When I was a man, I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake

9. “Let Me In” Snowmine

If you could you keep it together For a moment in time Then you'd see that I'd be Your excuse for a lover Your own mountain to climb You would see

I left my shoes under your bed But I left my body outside How did I get back into this mess? I kept telling myself the temptations would do me in And they did

10. “Heaven Help Us” My Chemical Romance

And will you pray for me? Or make a saint of me? And will you lay for me? Or make a saint of…

'Cause I'll give you all the nails you need Cover me in gasoline Wipe away those tears of blood again And the punchline to the joke is asking Someone save us

Heaven help us now Come crashing down And hear the sound As you fall

You don’t know a thing about my sins How the misery begins You don’t know So I’m burning, I’m burning I’m burning I’m burning again

11. “Strength Of The World” Avenged Sevenfold

Avenge the dead Killed all who crossed me in my path Suicidal I never planned on coming back I want it, I need it Revenge is dripping from my teeth Need nothing to feel power And bring the killers to their knees Nothing to lose, vengeance to gain (You know I’ll never be the same) So taste my breath, I'm close behind you (So desperate on your final day) Sorrow swallows my screams

Strength of the world is on my shoulders Strength of the world is on my side Strength of the world The one true beholder Ice in my veins for those who'll die

I've seen my family fade away You've taken my whole life There's nothing left to say

12. “We Are Nowhere And It’s Now” Bright Eyes

If you hate the taste of wine Why do you drink it 'till you're blind? And if you swear that there's no truth and who cares How come you say it like you're right? Why are you scared to dream of God When it's salvation that you want? You see stars that clear have been dead for years But the idea just lives on

I got no plans and too much time I feel too restless to unwind I'm always lost in thought As I walk a block To my favorite neon sign

I've been sleeping so strange at night Side-effects they don't advertise I've been sleeping so strange With a head full of pesticide

13. “Pain” Bilmuri

They abandon me 'Cause I'm not like them They hold me down And tell me what I am

I feel the death inside this place surround me I know that you will live only near to me

I feel the pain inside my lungs When you take away the ones that I love And I feel the pain with so few to trust When they fall away and say I'm not enough

When I have nothing, you're always with me, with me When I have nothing, I need you here, next to me Next to me

14. “The Brothel” Susanne Sundfør

Love I laid in payment Stars were stains in heaven and afterglow Beneath the ashes of echoes buried alive They are howling through hollows Once we share their temples Now our heads are hung up on walls

We are ruins within ruins On every corner a gladiator is begging for another century When no one cut your tongue To know nothing and to know it all To be both the animal and God

You cover your eyes You cover your mouth You cover your ears Still you follow my trail I’ll do all I’ll do whatever you say God has left me anyway

There are echoes in the garden Is anybody listening? There are echoes lost in the garden Is anybody listening? They whisper The ones who are only living Are the ones who are only dying

15. “Last Night I Watched Myself Sleep And I Saw Things That I Wish I Could Forget” Aurora View

A loss of breath, a pinch awake A melancholy kind of pain Hold out your tongue, let in the rain Keeping your eyes closed keeps you sane

What can you say when all of the words and all of the pain It won’t go away And you do, you do When nothing comes through I’m going insane I’m losing my faith

Feels abused and sedated It’s pulling me out of my skin But as I sway my intentions Despite misdirections Lead me back to where I begin

If I cut out my eyes What would I leave behind When monsters are all that I see? Cause I feel so alone And I hate to admit that I wish you away in my dreams

16. “Jesus Christ” Brand New

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again So what did you do those three days you were dead? ‘Cause this problem’s gonna last more than the weekend Well, Jesus Christ, I’m not scared to die I’m a little bit scared of what comes after Do I get the gold chariot? Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and pull apart? ‘Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark And this ship went down in sight of land And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you come in the night like a thief But I’ve had some time, o Lord, to hone my lying technique I know you think that I’m someone you can trust But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up So do you think that we could work out a sign So I’ll know it’s you and that it’s over so I won’t even try I know you’re coming for the people like me But we all got wood and nails We turn, turn out hate in factories Yeah, we all got wood and nails We turn, turn out hate in factories Yeah, we all got wood and nails And we sleep inside of this machine

17. “Magnolia” Gang Of Youths

Still honking those horns, yeah, just drive around ‘Cause you’re all being ignored Deadpan and bright As I flip you the bird, I’m a pain in the ass Yeah, I’m a real piece of work Just waving my arms like some terrible mime And shaking my ass ‘till they kiss it goodbye Just show me the right things That I didn’t do Oh, enlighten me now With impossible love from the former you

Just tell everyone I know what I did, I did for us, and in haste ‘Cause I’m terrified of dying in vain

There’s no way tonight As far as I know That heaven will take me So I’m staggering home Wretched and wild All glory and trash Yeah, I’m drunk, but I’m ready To kick some fucking ass

No way tonight As far as I know That heaven will take me So I'm staggering home Fire of my loins, oh, light of my life We’re vastly outnumbered Every motherfucking time

[mostfacinorous]

Stoki Whumptober Day 26: If you thought the head trauma was bad... [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25]

When Loki roused again, it was not for supper, as Steve had promised, but rather late into the next day. 

He quickly checked himself for the stone, then sat up, marveling at the darkness that existed inside of a room without electric lights or magic to show the way. 

Speaking of, he lifted his hand and flicked his wrist, creating a tiny witch light to better see his way to the restroom with-- and immediately panicked. 

He could feel the power-- it was there, in his hand, and he was holding it. He banished it and tried it again. 

“Everything okay?” A voice asked, and Loki extinguished the flame, jolting with shock before recognizing it as Steve’s. 

“Steve?” He asked, nearly hyperventilating now. 

“What is it, Loki?” Steve was at his side in an instant, one hand settling between Loki’s shoulder blades. 

“I can’t see anything-- I--” Loki lifted his hand to his own face and waved it around, able to feel the air in front of him being disturbed, but not see the motion itself. 

Steve sucked in a shocked breath. 

“Okay, okay, it’s alright, let’s figure this out. Maybe it’s like your voice-- your vision was blurry and messed up yesterday, right?” 

Loki nodded, unable to find words. 

“Okay, deep breaths. I’m not gonna leave you alone, we’ll figure this out, and if you can’t heal yourself, we’ll just have to get you to someone who can, okay?” 

Loki did his best to try and relax. He needed to be calm before he tried anything like using seidhr on himself.

And then he remembered why he’d been trying to get up in the first place. 

“Steve… I need to use the restroom.” He hated this, hated feeling so vulnerable and intimately dependent. 

“Okay, sure, no problem. They’ve got outhouses here, so we’re gonna have to get you up, put some shoes back on you. Here we go, just swing your legs off the bed, I’ll get the shoes.” 

Loki let himself be coaxed into a seated position and tried not to panic or cry while Steve gently got him dressed. The concentrated effort of schooling his face at least distracted him until Steve finished with that, and stood.

“Alright. You ready to go?” 

Loki, without thinking, just shook his head no. “Sorry-- context. Is it day or night, are there people about, do they know you, do they expect me to speak…?” 

“It’s the middle of the night, no one should be up, and the last they saw of you, you were passing out in the street. No one will think twice of me helping you to the privy. Promise.” 

Loki exhaled shakily. 

“Alright. Only remember I cannot see-- if anyone is around, please address them. And if there is anything in my path.”

“I’ve got you.” Steve promised, and took Loki’s hands in his. “Up we get.” 

Loki had forgotten that Steve was nearly as strong as an Asgardian, but was pleasantly reminded when his legs initially refused to bear his weight, and Steve caught him against his chest. 

Loki righted himself, however, and refused to consider swooning like a maiden just to get further time with Steve’s arms around him. 

He had a feeling, right now, that all he needed do was ask-- or cry-- and it would happen on its own. And he had more pressing matters to attend to. 

Steve led him through the house, careful to tell him where they were each time they entered a new room, and to warn him of steps down into the rear yard of the house, across the yard and then--

Loki smelled the latrine before they reached it, and must have made a face, because Steve laughed a little.

“I know. But I promise, the seat itself is kept nice and clean. The ladies would revolt otherwise.” 

Loki let Steve lead him up and into the outhouse, then sensed when he faltered. 

“I think I can manage not to piss myself.” He said lightly. “This much I have done in the dark before.” 

Steve didn’t say anything, but Loki assumed he nodded before backing off, and he waited til he heard the door closing before dropping trou and seating himself like a child and relieving his poor bladder. 

Finished, he stood redressed, and opened the door. 

Steve instantly put up a hand and guided Loki down the stairs without complaint. 

“Thank you.” Loki said quietly, as they made their way back into the house. “For all of this… it is… I cannot imagine it would be so easy with anyone else.”

Steve snorted. “No, but then, you might’ve made it back already without me, so. Thank you.” 

Loki shook his head. 

“I think… we should consider making all the rest of the jump in a single bound. I worry how much more I will fall apart in several small leaps, and at least if we make it back, you will have ample help to get me… sorted.” 

He meant healed, but the honest truth was, Loki wasn’t entirely sure he would survive another tango with the stone. 

Steve paused, Loki running into him as a result.

“That doesn’t seem like it’d be a good idea for you.” Steve pointed out. “Maybe we should wait til we get back to our room to discuss it.” 

Loki shrugged. 

“Okay, look, nearly there now, just through here.” Steve started moving again, and Loki followed. 

Once they were inside of the room, door closed securely, and Loki seated on the bed again, Steve heaved a sigh. 

“Okay, so explain to me-- the pros and cons here. Pro, we’d be back, you’d be able to get better help. Cons, whatever it’s doing to you, I assume it’d be bigger and worse?”

“I don’t know.” Loki answered gamely. “It’s got… I wouldn’t say a mind of its own so much as a will of its own. And I didn’t have a terrible reaction to jumping all the way back as far as we were. It’s possible it wants a greater power expenditure, and that my meddling and attempting to control it as I’ve been doing is what’s causing these… setbacks.” 

“Okay…” Steve said slowly. “What’s the other possibility?” 

Loki pursed his lips.

“I suppose in the opposite side of the spectrum… the power razes through me, and I get burned out. It destroys my ability to use seidhr at all, and we become lost at some point in time, potentially far into the future, if I lose control of it mid jump.”

“Oh.” Steve said faintly. “So no risk, then.” His words sounded strangled as he fought to restrain himself. 

Loki heard him kneel beside the bed, and felt him take Loki’s hand in his. 

“No.” Steve said. “We take this slow. We let you heal, however long you need, and then we go a little further. We have time, right? All the time in the world, that’s what the stone means.”

“We have access to all the time in the world.” Loki corrected gently, moving one hand to close over the top of Steve’s. “You and I are getting older, a day at a time. We will already return, if everything works perfectly, as different people than who we were, mere moments after we leave.” 

“That’s fine. It would’ve happened anyway.” Steve could be stubborn when he wanted, Loki had to give him that much. 

“And what if this takes more than a day or two to heal?” Loki asked. “What if we are waiting months between jumps? What if we return to your friends and your hair has gone grey and your face creased with age?” 

Steve squeezed Loki’s hand. 

“What other option do we have? Because losing you isn’t an option.” 

Loki shook his head. 

“Let me see what I can manage, as far as healing is concerned. We will discuss and attempt to make plans from there.” 

“Okay.” Steve agreed. “But I mean it-- nothing that puts you any more at risk than you have to be.” 

Loki huffed and leveraged himself back into a reclined position, leaving his shoes on. 

He heard Steve retreat, and then heard him sit down on something that sounded suspiciously wooden. 

“Steve…” He asked slowly, “What were you sleeping on before I woke you?” 

Steve cleared his throat, and Loki stood, hands out before him, to follow the sound to its source. It wasn’t a large room, and he located the bench with ease and distaste. 

“Unacceptable.” He announced. 

Steve huffed. “There’s only the one bed, Loki, and I don’t think we’ll both fit.” 

“We both fit in a snow shelter not much larger than a coffin, Steve. I think we can manage.” 

“I guess I can’t really argue that. But don’t you need some room, for your healing?” 

“Healing is internal, Steve. Come to bed.” 

Once they had managed to settle themselves, laying on their sides and with Steve’s arms wrapped around Loki, helping to hold him on the bed, Loki closed his eyes and focused inwards. 

He almost laughed, but didn’t want to startle Steve too much. 

He was blinded. But it seemed he’d done it to himself. No doubt the migraine from before had been light sensitive, and in his stupor, he’d made himself completely not sensitive to light. 

He removed it and sighed, glad for that. 

“Will you be okay?” Steve asked, voice directly behind him and his breath stirring the small hairs on Loki’s neck. 

“I will be. I already am.” Loki answered. 

He felt Steve burrow his face into the back of Loki’s shoulder, and couldn’t help but wonder if any of this would still be there in the morning… and beyond, when they returned, would Steve still touch him, hold him, speak kindly to him… or would he create a new distance? 

His friends would be suspicious, of course. Probably none moreso than Barnes. 

Maybe it was better to end it now, get it over with before Loki could grow too comfortable, too hopeful. 

They were going back to their time the next day, Loki decided. Whether Steve liked it or not.

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Ok my dudes, dudettes, & various cryptids, we gotta talk about something. A health something.

So if you've followed me at all, you know I have vEDS & that my hypermobility is pretty gnarly in that my joints are stupid levels of unstable. I think many of you have probably caught on to the fact that I wasn't diagnosed until pretty late in the game... like 4 yrs ago when I was 30. For as bad as my symptoms are, I should have shown significant symptoms & signs as a youngster, someone should have noticed, right? It seems super sketchy that I have a lifelong genetic disorder in a really bad way but nobody noticed til I was 30.

I definitely get that. That shit is sketchy as hell, unless you know how I was raised. Allow me to shed light upon why I'm a weird outlier regarding treatment/diagnosis of EDS.

I guess let's start at the beginning. I was born to a workaholic man & a schizoaffective woman who was upset that I was not a boy. When the doctors pulled me out, my hips were dislocated entirely. Like just dangling. But my mother was so "distressed" (aka throwing a crazy bitch fit over something insane) that they didn't want to trouble her or my father with it. They told my dad's mom. She... told nobody.

As a baby/toddler/preschooler, I fell. A lot. Like, an abnormal amount & for seemingly no reason. My knees & elbows bent backward. But dad was always working & mom was crazy.

When I was 4, they split, & dad got with my stepmother.

The first memory I have of this woman is her laughing at 4 yr old me & calling me stupid with an amount of venom in her voice that I was used to from mom (who still hated me for not being a boy). Why was 4 yr old me stupid & deserving of ridicule? Because I'd never seen french toast, but knew what toast was, so I made the toast connection & tried to eat the sticky mess with my hands. You know... LIKE TOAST.

Anyway, i remember my entire childhood having neck, back, & joint pain. The joint pain would get so bad that elementary school aged me would cry myself to sleep most nights. Dad was still always working & the stepmom told me that either I was faking for attention or that I just had the regular pains everyone has, I was just a baby & sucked at coping.

I can remember popping my hips partially in & out (obviously not knowing what I was doing) when I was absent mindedly thinking because I liked the noise it made. I remember the stepmom starting a nickname that stuck within the family for YEARS: flamingo girl because my elbows & knees went so far backwards. I remember the running family jokes about how I would be "just standing there, then fell over for no reason". I was told I was clumsy & so uncoordinated they were surprised I could get food into my mouth.

Still, I was told it was normal, despite nobody else having these problems.

My shoulder started sliding out of socket regularly on the playground or during normal activities during elementary school. The first time it happened at school, I went to the nurse. My stepmom reluctantly came to get me & take me to the doctor while telling me I was faking to get out of school.

When I was 7, I started getting pneumonia every winter. She berated me for having the nerve to be "so disgustingly sickly".

When I was 8, I started getting what looked like migraines every couple months, but was never taken to a doctor. I was put in a dark room with a cold compress & grounded for attention seeking. Around this time, schools still did scoliosis checks & found mild curvatures in my back. Nothing was ever brought up about that again.

When I was 11, my knee fully dislocated at school. I was told I did it on purpose to make her look bad. She had a friend who was a psychiatrist treat me for mental illness that I didn't have because the doctor, being her friend, didn't even speak to me. Just took her word for it regarding my alleged behavior & my mother's mental health. I was drugged & pulled out of school for an intensive outpatient program where I said nothing. Saying nothing was safest. The one time I spoke of her other outright abuse, I was punished.

All this time, my father was working himself to death because she popped out 2 other kids, bringing the count to a total of 4, & refused to work. He had no idea what was happening.

So I grew up thinking my body was normal, I just sucked at dealing with it. I didn't get any idea that it wasn't until my mid 20s but by then, I was a parent & was juuuust making ends meet, so I couldn't figure out what was happening, even if I wanted to. So I pushed through as my dislocations & migraine like headaches got more frequent & more devastating.

Then, around 30, after 4 organ ruptures of unknown causes & a lifetime of ignored dislocations, hypermobility, pneumonia, & migraines, my body had enough. Things really went downhill & it snowballed pretty fast. It still took until I was 32 to get a proper diagnosis.

Since then, everyone has been trying to play catch up. By that time, my tendons & ligaments had become so fragile that PT actually did a load of damage in the form of tearing. My hips & knees slid out slightly when I walked, resetting themselves when I put my foot back on the floor. I was rx'd a power chair (which I still waited nearly 2 years to get & still only use for long trips). I had serious GI problems. The migraines (which are tension headaches) were happening weekly (now daily).

So in summary, this could have been prevented with early intervention & proper care. But unfortunately I was the victim of abuse & negligence. And that, my dears, is why I am a weird outlier.

If you take ONE thing from this, I hope it is that you pay attention & listen to your kids. Don't blow them off when they say something is wrong or you see evidence that something is wrong.

If you've made it this far, thank you for listening to my rant/explanation of how EDS can be THIS bad & go unnoticed for so long.

Also, there is no need for "I'm sorry" or pity. I know how hard my life has been & I went through a decade of therapy to get over the PTSD & such from my childhood. It's just an explanation & cautionary tale.

[iicewitch]

☀️ cult of dionysus

a playlist for my friend caz link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. only as good as my god - everything everything And on the steps of my church There, I'm chasing down a red girl with my hooves upon a- Ooh - Wild Ooh - Child If they crawl out of the mud Wash them away in a flood I'm only as good as my god Burnt hair and more money 2. disciples - captain murphy Don't you want devoted followers? Who leave their families for you Give their money to you Give their bodies to you Give up their lives for you Consider you God, and will kill for you Don't you want to become a cult leader? Since the death of God there has been a vacancy open You can fill that void, here is how 3. dionysus - bts Just get drunk like Dionysus Drink in one hand, Thyrsus on the other Art splashing inside this clear crystal cup Art is alcohol too, if you can drink it, you'll get drunk fool I'm now in front of the door to the world The cheers I hear when I get up on stage Can’t you see my stacked broken thyrsus At last I’m reborn 4. good hand - turbowolf And I say No pain, no gain That's the mantra I'm repeating No sun, no rain That's the mantra I'm repeating No pain, no gain, no sun, no No pain, no gain, no sun, no rain 5. addicted to love - robert palmer Your lights are on, but you're not home Your will is not your own You're heart sweats and teeth grind Another kiss and you'll be mine 6. cult of dionysus - the orion experience Or start a secret society for the wild and free Our ideology is "You can do what you want Too much is never enough" We are the Life, we are the light We are the envy of the Gods above 7. hitting on all sevens - lyndon smith Make of me a subject caste Pressed and kept beneath thy glass Every heart thy sent in heaven Always hitting on all sevens One by one as ordered Flank to flank and facing forward Hanging by the word In chapter, verse and sentence heard 8. touch tone telephone - lemon demon Don't hang up yet, I'm not done I'm an expert, I'm the one The one who was right all along Better to be laughed at than wrong I'm an expert in my field UFOlogy, yes, it's all real Ancient aliens, it's all true I'm an expert just like you 9. sundial - lemon demon Don't mind me, I've just got some problems to work out I'm only passing through or maybe just right out Somehow something set my sundial backwards tilted and upside-down Now the shadow hand is pointing time right out of town I don't remember what it is that I just said to you I've got Anubis on my back and something in my shoe 10. mother’s talk - tears for fears It's not that you're not good enough It's just that we can make you better Given that you pay the price We can keep you young and tender Following in the footsteps of a funeral pyre You were paid not to listen now your house is on fire 11. light up the night - the protomen There is a city that this darkness can't hide. There are the embers of a fire that's gone out, But I can still feel the heat on my skin. This mess we're in, well you and I, Maybe you and I, We can light up the night. 12. pure morning - placebo A friend in need's a friend indeed, A friend who'll tease is better, Our thoughts compressed, Which makes us blessed, And makes for stormy weather, 13. aspiring fires - mother mother Baby, so you think you know crazy I think you know what you know, But what you know you don't know for sure A little advice for aspiring fires You'll get put out if you don't get a little wild Try again, try again, it ain't right You don't got the due diligence to lose your mind You're not getting it right 14. oh ana - mother mother I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god today Ante up and play that god a poker game Walk away with all our little God's spare change Playing this god it can't be good for— Ana's safety, Ana hear me ! 15. this devil’s workday - modest mouse So I ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone. And I'm gonna drown the ocean. Now ain't none o' that so wrong? I could buy myself a reason. I could sell myself a job. I could hang myself on treason. Oh I am my own damn god. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 16. kiss me son of god - they might be giants I look like Jesus, so they say But Mr. Jesus is very far away Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true That you love me and I love me And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" Yes a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" 17. personal jesus - depeche mode Take second best Put me to the test Things on your chest You need to confess I will deliver You know I'm a forgiver 18. charlie’s inferno - that handsome devil Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs They all look like ants from here Stars and crystal chandeliers Excuse me, sir! There must be someone you've confused me for If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform I go to church on sunday, truly, usually more! Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door! 19. old 45s - chromeo Don't wanna settle Or didn't you get the memo You only get a date if you're walking in stilettos This is enough to drive you mad If you think romance is dead and gone Find an old jukebox full of 45's Pop a nickel in it and it all comes back 20. down at the midnight rectory - ted neeley Down, down, down at the midnight rectory! With jiggle juice frisking under the marquee! The peacocks are strutting behind velvet ropes, Sipping away on their heavenly dope. Gimme two alleluia's and an amen! 21. elevate - dj khalil Can't stop me, can't break me (can't break) What don't kill me, gon' make me (gon' make) Shoot for the stars, no safety (no safety) And now I see clear in HD 'Cause I win, over and over again Battlin' evil, I'm hopin' to win Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins 22. come along - cosmo sheldrake We'll dance and sing 'til sundown And feast with abandon We'll sleep when the morning comes And we'll rise by the sound of the birdsongs We'll be here when the world slows down And the sunbeams fade away Keeping time by a pendulum As the fabric starts to fray 23. just one yesterday - fall out boy I thought of angels Choking on their halos Get them drunk on rose water See how dirty I can get them Pulling out their fragile teeth And clip their tiny wings If heaven's grief brings hell's rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday 24. church - fall out boy And if death is the last appointment Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom If you were church, yeah I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me 25. beast dance - kurage p Cast aside your humanity, before you have to grovel on the ground, being at the bottom of society. You want to be loved? In that case, come on. ”Roar roar roar roar roar roar” Inside the cage, ‘kay? 26. black and white - MASA Pour the gospel echoing through the world into your glass. Black&White! Practice your faith through shots and prayers. Open the bottle. Black&White! 27. sister’s mercy - hitoshizuku-p Jesus!! Pray and pray Believer, if you demand for salvation Oh Yeah!! Then pay up more and more for this Bright Red, now! Cheers!! Pour and pour When you’ve filled your stomach with this bright Red, Aa! All your wishes will come true 28. inferno pt. 2 - the buttress The depth of my breadth is unmet I'm becoming unraveled on the road less traveled I know Jesus wept But I abhor the Lord Fell on my sword Forever slept 29. let’s just live - casey lee williams Let's just live Just one day Let's forget about our problems Let's fall in love with life And just be free The sun will never fade The night won't steal our day Let's dance and laugh and love And let's just live 30. ignite - casey lee williams Fool, you shouldn't stare into these eyes of fire You're goin' to regret this little fight You don't wanna mess with me, I'm something higher You'll watch yourself suffer You'll watch me ignite 31. god’s gonna cut you down - johnny cash Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand Workin' in the dark against your fellow man But as sure as God made black and white What's down in the dark will be brought to the light 32. royals - lorde Let me be your ruler (Ruler) You can call me queen bee And baby, I'll rule (I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule) Let me live that fantasy 33. you should see me in a crown - billie eilish Count my cards, watch them fall Blood on a marble wall I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one One by one by You should see me in a crown 34. rev 22:20 - puscifer Pray til I go blind (Pray) Pray cause no one ever survives Prayin' to stay in her arms just to die longer Satyrs and saints, devils and heathens and lies 35. this must be the place - talking heads Home, is where I want to be But I guess I'm already there I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place I'm just an animal looking for a home and Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead 36. razzle dazzle -  richard gere Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle Dazzle 'em Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give 'em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather 'em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? 37. you’ll be back - jonathan groff You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone And no, don't change the subject 'Cause you're my favorite subject My sweet, submissive subject My loyal, royal subject Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever 38. no light, no light - florence and the machine No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent A revelation in the light of day You can't choose what stays and what fades away 'Cause it's so easy, To say it to a crowd But it's so hard, my love, To say it to you out loud 39. shiny happy people - r.e.m Meet me in the crowd, people, people Throw your love around, love me, love me Take it into town, happy, happy Put it in the ground where the flowers grow Gold and silver shine Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people laughing 40. a good song never dies - saint motel There was a moment, a hole opened in the sky A chance to join that pantheon For all the times they never heard your battle cry Now be an angel, sing along 'Cause a good song never dies It just reminds you of where you were The first time it made you cry The first time you felt alive 41. king of the clouds - panic at the disco Some only live to die, I'm alive to fly higher Than angels in outfields inside of my mind I'm ascendin' these ladders, I'm climbin', say goodbye This old world, this old world I don't trust anything Or anyone, below the sun I don't feel anything At all 42. battle for the sun - placebo I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun, sun And I, I, I, I am the bones you couldn't break Break, break, break, break, break, break, break 43. walk like an egyptian - the bangles All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian 44. credens justitiam - yuriko kaida and eri itoh Free, they are With no malice they sing quietly And they told me that my song was louder/lighter Their song Releases the day of all malice I want to be like them And my mind (their minds are) Free 45. 99.9 - mob choir The protagonist of this stage is me Cryin' my life, cryin' my psyche Cryin' my heart in such commonplaces Is this my ideal? Is this my mind? Ahh, I’m looking for the answer ! 46. cruel angels thesis - yoko takahasi But someday you will notice On those shoulders of yours There are strong wings To guide you to the far future. If there is any meaning In the fate that pulled us together, Then I am, yes, the Bible That teaches you of freedom. A cruel angel's thesis And then sorrow comes forth 47. peace and love on the planet earth - zach callison I guess we're already here I guess we already know We've all got something to fear We've all got nowhere to go I think you're all insane! But I guess I am too Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more Than peace and love on the planet Earth? 48. now we can see - the thermals We were born in the desert We were reared in a cave We conquered in the sun but we lived in the shade We were born on an island we grew out of the sand Never saw another creature never knew another man 49. love today - mika I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today, gonna love today I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to Love, love me, love, love me, love, love 50. where is my mind? - the pixies With your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse If there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself .. Where is my mind? Where is my mind?

[toothpastecanyon]

Noie’s Brother, Chapter 11

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Alcor felt like this one was a little on the nose. A newborn Mizar fading away in the hospital and a loving father pleading to him from behind a circle of candles.

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Naomi Argenta just wants this stupid vampire to stop harassing her brother. It’s making him go… weird. 

A huge thanks to @feferipeixes for helping to beta read this chapter!! Also I made a few minor references to President Chancellor - if you’re curious, that comes from their awesome fic Lucy Ann and the Lunch Bunch! You definitely don’t need to read it to understand this chapter, but I think it’s a really cool piece of writing and I’d recommend it to everyone!

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

________________________________________________________________

               It was another long day for Noie. Another long, weird day spent sneaking glances at Dipper and jumping at the sound of school bells. Another day spent keeping conversations short and strategic, vague and unhelpful; keeping certain topics close to her chest, like cards in this weird game she was playing with her brother.

               Playing, not talking.

               “Oh, wow, Dipper, you’re right, that doesn’t make it sound like vampires can affect your dreams that much… but who knows, maybe it’s a super powerful one! I got some more books for you on that!”

               Acting, not reacting.

               “Your shoulder hurts? Oh no, bro! It’s probably from all these nerdy books you’ve been hunched over all day today - c’mon, sit back for a second.”

               Showing, but never, never telling.

               “Nervous? Haha, what’ve I gotta be nervous about, bro?” Her eyes flitted towards the clock in front of the classroom. “We’re going home soon! Going back to the house, yeah…”

               Dipper opened his mouth to reply, but then he hesitated, closed it, and turned back to his notes without protest. The look on his face… it put a strain on her smile.

               She didn’t remember when he’d stopped arguing with her.

               “And I believe that is all I have for today!” The teacher’s voice made Noie glance up at him; she watched his brow furrow at the rustle of people reaching for their bags. “Hey, hey! Did I say you could pack up? Everyone can stay in their seats and talk - quietly! - with your neighbors until the bell rings. Let’s have a little patience, alright? Thank you.”

               With that, he strode over to his desk and sat himself down behind a computer, leaving the room to fill with chatter. Noie looked down the many rows of students in seats, textbooks on tables, and the top of her teacher’s face bobbing up and down above his monitor, cut off just above his eyes.

               No one was looking her way, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that had kept her on edge all day today.

               The feeling that she was being watched.

               Noie shivered at that. She opened her mouth, hesitated, pressed her pencil against the desk until the lead broke, then swept the mess away and turned to Dipper.

               “Going to the store today.” Her words came out too quiet; she cleared her throat. “Dipper?”

               He didn’t look up from his notes. “Yeah?”

               “We’re going to the store today, okay?”

               “Okay…” Dipper said, but confusion quickly spread across his face. Now, he looked up at her. “Wait, what? The store?”

               “Yeah!”

               “Why? I thought we were good on food and stuff this week.”

               “We’re low on ibuprofen.”

               “I mean, not that low. No need to make, like, an emergency shopping trip-”

               “It’s not an emergency!” Noie cut in. When he frowned at her, she grinned and gave him a nudge. “C’mon, bro! It’ll be good! Why’re you giving me that face?”

               Dipper took a moment to respond. He looked down, covered his face with his hands, and kneaded his forehead. He let out a groan, then: “Ugh… sorry, Noie.”

               “Aww, don’t be sorry, bro! We’ll get you the extra strength tablets, alright?”

               “No, it’s just… can we do this some other day? Please?” He sat back, still rubbing his face. “I’m not really feeling a shopping trip right now - my head hurts, and my shoulder still feels weird, and the whole… whole deal with the vampire… I kind of just wanted to go home.”

               “Aww, Dipper…”

               “You can go if you want, I’m not saying that. Just let me-”

               “No, you can’t go home on your own!” She thought of Lucy Ann in the backyard and shook her head. “Look, it’ll just be-”

               “Noie, please? I, really really don’t want to.”

               “But-but-” Noie stammered. “But you promised!”

               At that, Dipper hesitated. He lifted up his head and raised an eyebrow at her. “I promised?”

               That look he was giving made her cringe. She racked her mind for some kind of answer. “Um, yeah! Back at the- back on the bus! This morning! Before, uh, you went to sleep!”

               “I promised… to go on a shopping trip?”

               “You don’t remember?” Noie could see a little uncertainty creep into his frown. “We were sitting there, going to school, and you were like- um, I was like… actually, you were like ‘Let’s go to the store!’ and I was like ‘yeah!’”

               “But why would I-”

               “Because…!” Her eyes landed on his textbook. “Because vampires! I mean vampire stuff! We were going to buy vampire stuff, remember? For your dream things!”

               He blinked. “Oh… we were gonna buy, like, garlic or something?”

               “Yeah! Haha, you could put some garlic under your pillow - that’d stop anybody from getting too close to you!”

               “Heh, yeah… I guess that does make sense. Not the garlic under the pillow thing, but yeah, we should stock up on that stuff.” Dipper opened the book. “Thanks for, uh, reminding me.”

               Noie didn’t say anything to that. She just sat there, and smiled at him, and twisted her pencil ‘til it snapped in two.

               The bell rang. Dipper looked up.

               “Oh, nice.” He closed his book. “So, uh, are we going to the convenience store, or the store store… oh wait, I’m dumb, they don’t sell garlic in convenience stores. Heh, you ever just immediately answer your own question like that, Noie? Noie?”

               His words washed over her. She stared through his face, and for a moment even the churning pit in her stomach seemed so very far away…

               Then he touched her and she jumped.

               “Hey!” She started to knock his hand away, but gave it a quick pat instead. “I mean, hey. Oh, cool, did the bell ring? Alriiight, school’s out!”

               “Noie, are you-”

               “Fine! Fine! Everything is fine!” Noie shoved her book into her bag. “Everything is completely fine and let me just zip this up here, aaand done! Alright, bus! Bus bus bus!”

               She jumped up and flashed him her brightest smile. He returned a frown, his face a mixture of concern and confusion and frustration that put a lump in her throat. She swallowed.

               “What?” Her voice came off angry; she barked a laugh to try and soften it. “Hah, what’s up with you? Why the long face? I said I’m fine.”

               Dipper looked down. He didn’t say a word.

               “I am fine, okay? Dipper?” Noie’s smile stretched paper thin. “Cool, good talk. Well, we’ve gotta catch our bus now, okay? Come on.”

               She stepped away, and he followed just behind her. The hallways were already quite empty, and the odd group of chattering students didn’t do much to distract from the looming silence between them.

               Down the stairs they walked. Out the building. They rounded a corner, and Noie found herself staring down the main gates, and the glowing figure standing guard beside them.

               At that, she caught her breath. She slowed down to walk with Dipper, and they walked closer, closer.

               She shot him glances. Stared at his soft brown eyes. Linked hands with him, and tried for a smile when that made him raise an eyebrow at her.

               “Hey, Dipper.” She squeezed his hand. “I love you.”

               “I… love you too? Why are you saying it like that?”

               Noie opened her mouth to respond, but the words shriveled on her tongue when she saw his eyes flicker black on gold.

               At first it was just a flash; it was hard to tell if it’d been a trick of the light, and Dipper looked concerned at the sudden shock on her face. He squeezed her hand, and opened his mouth, but they walked closer and his eyes kept flickering.

               Kept flickering, and emotion drained from his face. Noie looked away, but she could feel his gentle squeeze get tighter and tighter and tighter until it felt like her hand was going to fold down the middle - ow.

               She sucked in a breath, kept her head down and kept going.

               Kept walking.

               They were nearly there.

               Nearly through.

               Dipper would be back soon, she told herself.

               Dipper would be back soon.

               Dipper would be back soon-

                               “Hello, child. Please wait.”

               Those words came through a chorus of voices - the angel. Noie frowned at its glowing boots, and reluctantly came to a stop.

               “Um, hey?” She cringed as Dipper’s grip tightened even more. “Do you need something? Not that it’s, uh, not nice to see you and all, but I can’t really stay and chat-”

                               “Oh, I have no favours to ask of you. Quite on the contrary, I have listened to your needs and taken it upon myself to - oh, shall I use a human colloquialism here? There are so many to choose from; your language is charming in its inefficiency, I must say.”

               “Can we maybe get to the point?”

                               “‘To the point’ - heh, there’s one of them. Yes, let us ‘get to the point.’” The two officers cleared their throats, and then a man stepped forwards. From his rubbery gloves and dark blue apron, he looked like one of the people who worked in the cafeteria. He gave Noie a too-wide smile, and then reached into the pocket of his apron and drew out…

               “Oh. Garlic?” Noie made a face. “And a hammer. And a… a stake. That is an actual stake you’ve got there. Um.”

                               “I have blessed these with the cleansing light of my innermost essences. They will be far more effective than any equivalent one could purchase at a human marketplace.” The man held them out to Noie with a grin. “You’re welcome, child. Or as your kind may say, ‘it’s on me.’”

               “Uh…” Noie shuffled back. “Thanks, buddy, this is real… real thoughtful of you, but I think I’m gonna pass on your, um, innermost essences.”

                               “Pass?” All three heads cocked in unison. “You are refusing my gifts?”

               “I mean, refusing’s a strong word, but y’know, my folks like getting points for gas when I use their card, and I’m pretty sure that stake thing is actually super illegal, so…”

               She trailed off. The men just stared at her, faces completely blank.

               “...so yeah? We’re still good? Still…” Noie heard a deep rumbling sound start up beside her; she glanced over to see Dipper baring his teeth at the angel, face contorted with rage. “Oh, he is… he is growling right now. Okay. Um, I think I’ve gotta go? So bye?”

               She stepped back, and stepped back again. The angel didn’t react, so she flashed a smile, snapped a wave, and dragged Dipper out of there at the fastest walking speed she could manage.

               She didn’t look back. She didn’t look at Dipper. She kept her eyes facing forwards, fixed on their bus as it pulled away from their stop and drove off into the distance.

________________________________________________________________

               “Dipper? How’re we holding up, bro?”

               “Ughhhhh…”

               Noie made a face at her brother, who was currently crumpled on a bench outside the supermarket. She waved off some concerned-looking shoppers with a “Don’t worry, he’s okay!”, then gently pried one of his hands off his forehead and pressed a packet of frozen peas into it.

               “Here,” she said, and tucked a receipt into his pocket. “And keep this too, just in case. I’m ninety nine percent sure nobody’s gonna ask for it, but hey, people are jerks sometimes, y’know? Hah!”

               She laughed, but Dipper didn’t respond. He wasn’t very talkative at the moment - he hadn’t been since that encounter with the angel at the gates.

               The memory sent shivers down her spine, brought back flashes of glowing golden eyes, of growling, of looking down at the ache in her hand and seeing actual claw marks in her skin… Noie shook her head clear, and rose to her feet.

               “Alright, you wait here.” She hesitated before patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll be super quick, okay? Pinky promise.”

               Dipper managed a nod.

               “Yeah, that’s the spirit!” With a grin, she stepped away. “You’re the best, Dipper! Love you!”

               Noie took a few steps backwards… then a few more, and a few more not quite able to take her eyes off him. There was a pit in her stomach when she looked at him sitting there, all alone, with his head buried in a pack of frozen peas…

               Maybe this was a bad idea.

               Before she could think too much on it, there was a “Hey!” and Noie had to dodge a cart she’d wandered into the way of. The man pushing it shot her a glare. “Watch where you’re going!”

               “Sorry, sorry!” Her cheeks burned as he stalked past her. “Sorry…”

               Then she cleared her throat, glanced one last time back at Dipper, and made her way inside before she got in anybody else’s way.

               She’d be quick.

               Noie grabbed a basket from the side and held it in the crook of her elbow as she linked her fingers together. One hand rubbed the claw marks on the back of the other as she made a beeline to the fresh produce - it was right by the entrance - and picked out a head of garlic and some pumpkin seeds.  She spotted some bananas and remembered they were out, but a split second later she also remembered Dipper hanging on for her for outside and skipped past them to find the painkillers.

               Ugh, the medicine aisle was all the way on the other side of the store. She rolled her eyes and broke out into a little jog as she made her way there; the extra strength ibuprofen was about halfway down the aisle, and she picked one out - no, two. Just in case.

               Noie tossed those into her basket, and grimaced at her little collection.

               Alright. That should keep Dipper from getting suspicious about this shopping trip.

               Now for what she actually needed to buy.

               Noie paced the aisles a little bit before she found the one she was looking for. Fridges full of frozen meals lined one side, and on the other was a man choosing between two bottles of wine; she pretended to stare at the frozen meals until he sighed, threw both of them in his cart, and shuffled off.

               With a shiver, she looked both ways and headed to a very small section tucked to the very back of the aisle, labelled ‘Vampire Products’. Between that title and the bright red bloodpacks dangling from each shelf, it was obvious a human like Noie was not supposed to be opening this particular fridge.

               So she did it quickly, and moved away to examine the squishy bag of gross that was now in her hands.

               It was cold to the touch. The plastic felt thin and clammy - kind of like seran wrap, Noie thought, and with that analogy in mind she was careful not to squeeze it too hard. The label was plain white and noticeably devoid of branding; apart from a logo and tagline tucked into the corner (‘Sated Solutions: Keeping Our Streets Safe Since 2029’), the rest of the space was packed with warnings, each one delivered with more CAPITALISED WORDS FOR EMPHASIS than an angry internet post:

BLOOD PACK FOR VAMPIRIC CONSUMPTION ONLY: 495ml WHOLE BLOOD, COLLECTION DATE 04/25/85

CAUTION: THIS PRODUCT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR USE IN TRANSFUSIONS.

CAUTION: THIS PRODUCT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR GENERAL CONSUMPTION. CONSUMPTION OF HUMAN BLOOD MAY LEAD TO HEMOCHROMATOSIS (IRON OVERLOAD) WHICH CAN CAUSE ORGAN DAMAGE, IRREGULAR HEARTBEAT, CIRRHOSIS OF THE LIVER…

               It went on, and Noie skimmed the rest before gingerly placing it in her basket and proceeding to self-checkout. No drinking the blood, got it.

               She scanned the garlic and the seeds and the ibuprofen, and put them in a bag. Then, with a quick glance over her shoulder, she scanned the bloodpack and shoved it into another bag as fast as she could. She wrapped that bag up, put it in with the other stuff she’d bought, then got out her grandfather’s card and went to pay.

               The bloodpack was twenty-five dollars. Noie muttered a little ‘sorry’ to the card reader as she typed in his pin.

               (This was just a one time thing, she reasoned. She only needed it to last a few days… it’d last that long, right?)

               (Seriously, how much could a vampire even drink?)

               She doodled a little heart on the signature line, and took a deep breath to to steady her own racing pulse as she waited for the beep. Once it went through she pulled out the card, grabbed the bag, and darted for the exit.

               “Dipper? Dipper!” She called his name before she could even see the bench. She rounded the corner, and- “Dipper, there you are!”

               Dipper had sat up, and was giving her an odd look. “Yeah? You told me to wait-”

               “I’m sorry I was gone so long!” Noie wrapped him up in a hug. “I’ve got everything you wanted though, so- oh! How’s your head feeling?”

               “Not great, with you yelling in my ear like that.”

               “Sorry! I mean, sorry… You okay, though?”

               “Yeah… I’m feeling a little better.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’ll be fine, I just want to go home and lie down for a bit.”

               With a tight smile, Noie drew back. “That’s fair, bro. We’ll go home now.” She helped him to his feet. “We’ll go straight home, and you’ll go straight to bed, okay? Okay. Ohhh-kay.”

________________________________________________________________

               Noie had this evening all planned out. Dipper was going to go sleep off his headache, so she’d take that time to slip the bloodpack to Lucy Ann. She could do that in five minutes, then go pick up a few more vampire books from Grandma’s study; if she dumped some heavy ones on his lap as soon as he woke up, she could probably keep him in his room all night. There’d be no chance of him even seeing the vampire!

               She opened the front door, grinning to herself. This was good! This was a good plan. Then she could wake up early, and do breakfast in bed...

               “Hey, kids!”

               Wait, what?

               “Good day at school? Say, aren’t you back earlier than this most days?”

               Noie stared at her grandfather, who was sitting in the dining room and reading an actual newspaper. She was about to ask where her grandma was when-

               Oh, stars.

               Oh, no...

               “Everything alright?” David frowned at them. “You two look terrible.”

               Dipper was already shuffling towards the bedroom. “We’re, uh, fine, Grandpa… I got a headache today.”

               “Another bad one, eh?”

               “Yeah. I’m going to lie down.”

               “You do that, kid. You’ll feel better.” David watched him go, forehead wrinkling in concern. “Might need to take him to the doctor… hey, Naomi, what’s the, uh… the number for the lady your brother sees? D’you know where Allie kept it?”

               Noie didn’t answer. She didn’t hear the question. She was too busy staring at her grandmother.

               Sitting outside.

               Talking.

               Laughing.

               Lucy Ann.

               “Naomi?”

               Where was Lucy Ann?

               “Naomi!”

               Noie blinked. Her grandfather was frowning at her, now.

               “Will you listen to me, kid? I was asking you a question. I wanted to make an appointment with the neurologist for your brother; I’m getting worried about all these headaches he’s been having lately-”

               “Oh, I can set that up.” She blurted out, then: “Why’s Grandma outside? Who’s she talking to?”

               “Huh?” David glanced outside. “Oh, uh, she’s… She came out with me while I was tryna see what was tapping at our porch this morning, and for some reason she didn’t want to come back inside. Wanted to keep sitting out there.” He stuck his nose back into the newspaper. “Don’t ask me why. It’s hot as… it’s hot today.”

               Noie watched Allie let out a laugh. She could hear the faintest bit of it come through the glass, loud and happy. “B-but who’s she talking t-”

               “She’s fine.” He cut her off. “Everything’s fine, she’s just… practicing an old speech of hers or something, I don’t know. I’m just waiting for her to come in so I don’t have to keep sitting on this damn chair - my back’s screaming for the couch, I tell you.” He looked down at the bag in her hands. “Did’ja go to the store?”

               “What? Oh, uh!” Noie hid the bag behind her. “I just- we got garlic.”

               “Were we-”

               “Yes, we were out!” Darting over to the counter, she dumped the garlic and - she’d find a home for it later - the pumpkin seeds into the fruit bowl, then squeezed past the dining table to get to the porch. “I’m going outside!”

               “What? No, don’t…” David hesitated, thought on it for a second, and then sighed. “I mean, uh, I guess you can if you really want to. I don’t know why I’m saying no, I don’t see the harm.”

               She gave him a hug as she passed his chair. “Thanks, Grandpa!”

               “What are you- oh, hugs, alright. Yes, yes, you’re very welcome for, uh… well I’ve been thinking, and, y’know, I say no to a lot of things that maybe don’t matter so much, and-”

               “Oh! You need to go away, Grandpa!”

               “Excuse me?”

               “I mean…” Noie tore her eyes away from the porch, and gave David an awkward smile. “Why don’t you let me keep an eye on Granny?”

               He raised an eyebrow. “You want to sit out there and watch her?”

               “Yeah! A-and you can go back to the couch and watch TV and not be right here?” Her smile stretched wide. “Doesn’t that sound nice? That sounds nice to me.”

               “I’m not sure… you know you can’t walk off on her, right?”

               “Of course! I would never do that!”

               “So you’re gonna stay out there as long as she’s out there?”

               “Pinky promise!”

               Hmmm…” He narrowed his eyes. “Why’re we so eager to look after Allie all of a sudden?”

               “Cause she’s my Granny and I love her? I don’t need a reason to wanna hang out with her!”

               “That’s… I suppose that’s true, but-”

               Noie forced a laugh as she plucked the newspaper out of his hands. “Besides, I have to rescue you from this. Don’t you get news on your phone?”

               David tensed at that; oops, she'd hit a nerve.

               “Ohh, can’t you get news on your phone?” He imitated her voice in a mocking falsetto, and she cringed. “Everyone’s like ohh, it’s so convenient, and then everyone’s wondering why journalism’s dying out - you know what happened once an old paper of mine stopped selling print?”

               “Grandpa-”

               “Suddenly ohh, we just don’t know if that story’s gonna get clicks, ‘cause suuure, that’s the important thing to talk about, the fucking clicks, ‘cause what else are we here to-”

               “Grandpa!” Noie nudged him away with a polite smile. “That’s really cool and important and all, but…” She glanced outside. “Um…”

               He rolled his eyes, and got to his feet with an exaggerated sigh. “Fine, I can take a hint. Nobody wants to hear what Grandpa has to say, he should just shut up and go watch TV.”

               “That’s not what I said!”

               “You keep a close eye on Allie.” He pointed at her with the newspaper. “That’s what you agreed to, and maybe that’s not convenient or whatever, but it’s important, and you young people’ve gotta learn it’s not one or the other.”

               “Young people? What are you even- I’m not gonna let her wander off, okay! Why do you think I’d ever do that?”

               “You gotta learn, is all I’m saying.” David shuffled off, rubbing his back. “You gotta learn.”

               “Alright, alright... sheesh.” Noie crossed her arms. “‘You young people’, oh, my stars. You think there was ever some old grump who said that to Grandpa back when he was a kid? Heh, I bet he was like ‘I wanna be just like you when I grow up!’”

               There was no reply. She looked around, and saw Dipper wasn’t standing next to her… oh, right.

Tap, tap, tap.

               Noie turned around, and saw her grandmother tapping on the glass. Allie smiled and waved at her when they made eye contact, and there was a flicker of a figure from behind a wall running down one side of the porch.

               Oh, right.

               She gulped, drew the blinds, and gingerly stepped outside.

               The first thing she heard was, “Naomi!”

               “Hi, uh, Granny. I-”

               Arms came down and wrapped her in a hug. Allie squeezed her tight, tighter than she had in a long time. She tousled Noie’s hair and laughed; the sound was loud and loving, happy and carefree, and all the things Noie was going to say suddenly dried up on her tongue.

               “It’s so good to see you!” Allie pulled back, and there was a shine in her smile. “Oh, wow, you’ve grown, haven’t you! Shot up like a seed, a seaweed!” She leaned forward. “You taller than Dipper yet?”

               There was a lump in her throat. “I… um, I… I don’t... think so?”

               “Aww, you should measure. Round your age, you’ll proberbe taller… pr-, properly? No, ‘probably’ ‘be’ taller.” She snorted to herself. “Words, Allie. What are we doing here?”

               Noie just stared. It was strange, to see her grandmother like this: so animated, so responsive, so happy, so… herself.

               Not because it was unfamiliar, because it wasn’t. Her hug, her laugh, her smile, and how it gave way to concern as she noticed the look on Noie’s face; this was all so, so familiar, and suddenly, she missed it so, so badly.

               “Naomi? Sweetie?” Allie squeezed her shoulders. “What’s the matter?”

               She just shook her head and hugged her Grandma. There were no words to explain it, and maybe Allie realised that, too; she just held Noie close, and rocked her a little, and for a moment, wrapped up warm and safe in her arms, everything really was okay.

               Everything was as it should be.

               Then Allie noticed someone. Noie felt her stiffen, and wiped her eyes before looking up questioningly.

               She was frowning at the wall behind the porch… and the figure currently trying to flatten herself against it. The confusion slowly turned to recognition, and then:

               “Is that… is that Lucy Ann? Oh, my stars!”

               Wait, what?

               Noie just had time to go, “Huh?” before she was almost pushed aside in a sudden dash over to the vampire. Lucy Ann stopped trying to hide; she stood up straight, and shot a glance at Noie before putting on her best smile and extending a hand.

               “Uh, hi. Yeah, it’s me again.”

               “Oh my stars, Lucy Ann!” Allie shook her hand vigorously, her words tumbling out of her mouth - almost nervously. “It’s- it’s an honour! I can believe I’m finely meaning you, I never fought I’d see- I… oh, where armyanners?” She gave one more firm shake, and her smile straightened into something more professional. “I’m Senator Aleksandra Argenta, from Southern Arizona. It really is a pleasure to meet you.”

               With wide eyes, Noie watched Lucy Ann look from Allie’s dishevelled grey hair down to her faded blue nightgown and bare feet, then dip her head and say: “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Senator. Big fan of your work.”

               “You guys know each other?!”

               Allie turned to Noie, and her smile brightened even further. “Oh, Naomi! You’re here!” She dashed up to her and gave her another huge hug. “It’s so good do see you! Howave you been? How’s school? Oh wow, you’ve gotten so much taller!”

               “I-” Noie pointed at Lucy Ann. “I don’t… How do you…?”

               Lucy Ann chuckled. “Oh, I might’ve made a couple names for myself over the years. I’m surprised you didn’t recognise me with a grandma this cool, though I’ll cut you some slack - I didn’t recognise Argenta either.” Her grin sharpened. “Guess I didn’t see the resemblance.”

               “What?”

               “Naomi, you have to meet this, this!” Allie took her hand and dragged her right up to the vampire. “This is Lushiann, she was instruments in taking down the Chancellor admini-uh-instrumentation acapple centaursa go! Living histree!”

               “What?”

               “There was a very pro-nat President you guys elected a few hundred years back.” Lucy Ann crossed her arms. “Me and a Mizar and some friends, we, uh, ‘took care’ of her.”

               “Oh…” Naomi tried for a smile. “That’s nice. Good job?”

               “Yeah, I’d say saving millions of preters from getting hunted down by the government was a pret-ty good job.”

               “And we’re still fighting for pretrights.” Allie grumbled. “Laws from back then, they’re still on the books and peter-epresentation is still at history lows - you know itsstimated seventy percent of pre-transcendaged citisents are-egistered devote?”

               “Seventeen percent registered to vote, yeah.” Lucy Ann shook her head. “Used to require everyone to have a US birth certificate, no exceptions, and, uh, that’s rather hard for folks whose birth certificate - if they had one - predates the United States.”

               “I can’t believe that’s still alaw, I have a bill going through committeen right now to strike that one out.”

               “Yeah, and it passed.”

               “Oh, it passed?” Allie blinked, and then smiled. “Ohh, it did, didn’t it? That’s wonderful! Still a lot of work to do, though.”

               Lucy Ann nodded. “You can say that again.”

               “I’ll say it as many timesi need to.” She chuckled. “Some of my colleaks could use the reminder.”

               The two of them laughed, and Noie just stared. The scene was too utterly bizzare for her to process; all she could think was what the fuck was going on?

               There was a hand on her shoulder. Allie shot her a grin.

               “Naomi, it’s so good to see you! Oh, my stars, you’ve come at such a good time!” She motioned to Lucy Ann. “This is Lucy Ann - you’verurdove Lucy Ann, right?”

               Noie nodded weakly. “She took down a bad president?”

               “A bad pro-nat president.” Lucy Ann added. “Don’t you forget that bit.”

               “Sorry.”

               “Lucy Ann was such an inspiritasion for me getting in-tolitics.” Allie sighed. “You know, my sister got bitten when she was for a teen, and it was such a rightmare getting anything done for her… I was like, Lucy Ann showed us hundreds of years ago this was unexpectable! Why’s she still gotta deal with this? Someone’s gotta changeings!” She laughed, and squeezed Noie’s shoulder. “And I know we got quite a promisting young lady here who-onts to... to do good change things too.”

               Noie stiffened when Lucy Ann looked her way. “Uh…-”

               “Oh, yeah? She’s gonna be a senator too?”

               “I mean, I don’t know if I-”

               “She’s certainly got it in her, if she wants to.” Allie beamed down at her. “You’re a talented young lady, Naomi. Don’t short your sell short, you’re going to do amazing things. You and Dipper, I can’t wait to see what you do.”

               Noie didn’t know what to say to that. Lucy Ann pursed her lips.

               “Well, you’re not wrong, she’d certainly fit right in as a politician.” She cleared her throat. “Uh, Senator?”

               “Yes?”

               “It’s been really, really great chatting with you… seriously, you have no idea how much I appreciate the company.” She gave a barking laugh, and picked at the blood under her fingernails. “But, uh, d’you think I could, y’know, speak with your granddaughter for a sec? One on one?”

               “You want to do that?” Allie raised her eyebrows. “Oh, that sounds like exciting! What do you say, Nomi?”

               Noie glanced at Lucy Ann, who was giving her a very hard look beneath that smile. She made a face.

               “Uh, sure, I guess?”

               “Naomi,” there was gentle laughter in her grandmother’s voice. “I think you can say that a littleit more politely.”

               “...Yes? Thank you?”

               Lucy Ann’s smirk was hard to look at. “Oh, don’t mention it. You know I’m here all day.”

               “Really? What’s the occasion?”

               “Don’t worry about it, Senator. I’ll, uh, tell you later.” Lucy Ann waved her away. “Give me a second with Noie, alright?”

               “Oh, you want to talk with my granddaughter? That sounds exciting, Naomi, what do you-”

               “I need to walk you back to Grandpa!” Noie tugged her towards the door. “Uh, I’ll be back in a second!”

               Lucy Ann raised an eyebrow. “You’d better.”

               “I-I will!” She opened the door for Allie. “Come on, Granny.”

               “Where are we going?”

               “To Grandpa! To, uh, David!” Slowly, Noie coaxed her into the house. “Come on!”

               Allie frowned, but she let herself be led down the hall and into the living room. David gave her a wave when she sat Allie down next to him; he put his arm around his wife and looked back to the TV with a little grunt of thanks.

               Noie was just walking away when she heard, “Can you ask Lucy Ann when she’s free?”

               She spun around to stare at her, then at David. “Wh-what?”

               “I’d love to see her again.” Allie smiled. “Maybe I can invite her over to our house. For tea.”

               Noie just gaped at her grandmother, at a loss for words. After a moment, David waved her away.

               “I got her, Naomi.” He squeezed Allie’s shoulder. “Good to have you back, I was… Uh, you wanna watch anything in particular? I’m just clicking through channels - so much of it’s a bunch of crap. Ugh.”

               She backed up, staring at her grandmother for one more moment. Then she turned around and darted back through the halls and back outside.

               Lucy Ann was waiting for her, feet right up against the open door and all pretense of a smile dropped from her face. She raised her eyebrows when she caught sight of Noie.

               “Oh, you actually came back. Gotta admit, I was ninety percent sure you were just saying that.” She stepped to the side to let Noie through. “I was thinking of just screaming ‘DIPPER YOU’RE ALCOR’ through the door - y’know, since you left it open and all.”

               She slid the door closed. “Um, please don’t do that.”

               “Oh of course, it’d be very inconvenient for you, wouldn’t it.”

               “No, that’s-! Look,” Noie threw her bag on the table and fished out the bloodpack. “I got this for you, so I’m not gonna let you die, alright? Everything’s going to be okay, so if you could just wait here a little longer, I’m working on a plan-”

               “Of telling Dipper he’s Alcor?”

               “No, but-”

               “How long’s this plan gonna take?”

               “Uh, I don’t think it’ll be too long-”

               “Do you take constructive criticism?” She crossed her arms. “Or is it not quite out of the brainstorming stage?”

               “Uh… look, I have it under-”

               “No, you look, Noie!” Lucy Ann picked up the bloodpack with balled fists. “Look at this! This is insulting! I am not your pet! I am not going to stand in this fucking yard thirty feet from the only person who can actually help while you run around making stupid little plans that won’t fucking work!” She noticed Noie pressed up against the glass, and took a very deep breath. “Okay. Look, I am sorry this is so hard for you, but Dipper is Alcor, and an angel is trying to kill me, and I am sick and tired of sitting around in your yard doing nothing - I have a life to get back to!”

               “I…” Noie gulped. “I’m sorry, I-”

               “Don’t be sorry, just go get Alcor!” She stared Noie down. “Well?”

               “Um, i-it’s just-”

               “Ohhhh my starrrrs…” Lucy Ann dropped the bloodpack and kneaded her forehead. “How are you related to Senator Argenta? Just… how?”

               “She’s… she’s my grandma?” Noie cringed when Lucy Ann started banging her head against a wall. “Uh… did you… did you actually know her?”

               “Didn’t know her - I just met her this morning - but I knew of her, back when she was a senator.” She rested her head against the brick. “She did good work. And she was a real interesting lady to talk to, real passionate… I’m sorry she’s, y’know…”

               “Alzheimer's.”

               Lucy Ann sighed. “Yeah, I figured. That sucks, it really does.”

               “It’s okay.”

               “...You know, not everything has to be okay all the time.”

               Noie didn’t know what to say to that. She stared at Lucy Ann, and after a moment, the vampire turned to look at her.

               “Are you gonna go get Alcor for me?”

               She said nothing, and watched Lucy Ann’s eyes go flat. The vampire looked down again, down at the floor, and suddenly it was hard to ignore how small she was. How young she seemed, in a dirty red shawl several sizes too big for her.

               “Then I don’t know why you’re still standing there.”

               That made Noie cringe. “Do, uh, do you want me-”

               “To go? Yeah, I think that would be best.” She scuffed her feet against the porch. “I gotta lot of thinking to do: gotta figure out how to get to Alcor on my own and that’s… not easy. But hey, don’t let me stop you from living your life. Go inside.”

               Noie stepped back. She stepped back again. She opened the door, and glanced over at Lucy Ann one more time-

               “Seriously? Just go already!”

               Then slid it shut and walked away with her arms clasped around her chest, cradling the deep, sinking feeling in her stomach.

               This was fine. Or at least, it was going to be fine.

               She just had to hold it all together for a few more days.

               Just a few more days…

[nomadicsurvivor]

The Meaning of a Date

Day 3 - Dates Just Limit Your Options

I never got the hype of a birthday – what is a date anyway?  It’s a man-made concept of time placed into a man-made structure of months, weeks, days, years.  The construct is to help humans notate the passing of important moments.  The day we were found on the side of the road was named as our “birth date”.  Not that it held much meaning to me.  Even after I returned to Roswell and was reunited with Max and Isobel, our birthday didn’t really hold any special meaning to me.  The three of us would do something together on that day, acknowledge it, but all three of us knew it wasn’t something significant the way it was to other kids, to human kids.  And while the Evans would throw Max and Izzy a party, no one really ever acknowledged mine – I never got a party or a card or anything.  It wasn’t even until I got back to Roswell that I found out that I was missing out on something.

But my 18th birthday, that changed.  Alex had packed a picnic and got me to drive him way out into the desert. It had been a couple months since that day – the tool shed, his dad, Rosa…  We had seen very little of each other since then.  He had seen me protecting a broken hand at school as we entered finals season.  I had seen him protecting his ribs – I could only imagine what colors were under his clothing.  We avoided each other for the most part, but would occasionally run into each other at classroom doors, in the hallways, going in or out of Crashdown.  So imagine my surprise when, those couple months later, he somehow found where my truck was parked behind the grocery store and dropped a backpack and basket in the back of the truck, climbed into the passenger side, and told me to drive – no hello, nothing – just invited himself into my truck and said “drive.”  Which of course I did.

I took up into the back part of the Foster Ranch, occasionally brave enough to glance over at him to watch him look out the passenger window, a small grin on his face as he felt the wind through his hair from the open window.  I’d always keep looking at him when he’d glance back, catching his eyes for that split second before I’d force myself to slowly, casually, look back to the space in front of the truck.  His make-up was gone, as were the piercings.  But he was still exactly how I remembered seeing him over the years, and especially those times recently as we grew closer.  I felt a calm come over me when I was with him – something I can’t say I felt too often growing up around humans.

I drove us to where the rocky outcrops come up out of the ground, and stopped the truck in a small patch of shade.  As the engine ticked down as it cooled, we both just sat in silence for a couple minutes.

“How have you been?  How is your hand?”

“It is what it is I guess.”

He glanced at it, a deep crease of concern across his forehead before looking back out the window.

“Did you go to the doctor?  It doesn’t look good.”

I scoffed. “Alex, I am a runaway from CPS.  Aside from not having insurance or money, I can’t exactly walk into a hospital and not get reported.”

He looked hurt by that, although I don’t know if it was the slightly patronizing tone I took, or the grim reality of my life and what that meant to something like my hand.

“Where have you been staying?  I know you haven’t been back to the tool shed, not that I can blame you.  I don’t honestly know what would happ…….”

I took a deep breath.  “I’ve been staying around.  Crashed a couple nights with Max, otherwise wherever I can park my truck and not be bothered.  Out here quite a bit actually.  It’s warm at night now that it’s summer.”

He nodded.

“But you’re free now, right?”

I looked over at him confused, “What?”

He smirked and instead of answering, opened the door and climbed out of the truck. He grabbed his stuff from the back of the truck and headed towards the rocks, farther into the shade.  I opened my door but didn’t get out of my truck, waiting to see what he was up to.

Alex pulled a blanket out of his backpack and spread it out on the ground, then set the basket down, opened it up and pulled out a bag with the Crashdown logo on it. He then reached back in and pulled out two milkshakes that looked more melted shake than frozen.  Then out came a bag of doritos, followed by a bag of peanut butter M&Ms.  I chuckled and climbed out, sitting down next to him, looking at him questioningly.

Alex looked a bit embarrassed and chuckled, “OK I had to improvise, and had whatever the 7-11 had to select from with a limited budget.”

I laughed, “Alex, I will NOT be complaining about your food selection.”  I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t really had much more to eat than a snickers in the last day or so. “I guess I’m more confused as to what all this is actually about.  But again, not complaining!”

Alex pulled cheeseburgers and fries from the Crashdown bag.  He pushed one of the burgers towards me.

“When you ran away from home, how long did you have til you turned 18?”

I wasn’t sure where that question was going, and didn’t want to correct him as I so automatically did with Max and Izzy when they’d call a foster placement my home, or say my dad when I’d cut them off with ‘foster father’ or something. Instead, I answered without even thinking about it.

“One year, seven months, sixteen days.  Why?”

Alex’s eyes got big as he quickly did math and realised how long I had been living in my truck before he found me behind the bleachers at school that fateful day.

“Wait, you’ve lived out of your truck for over a year and a half?!”

I shrugged, not sure what to say to that.  He seemed to collect himself quickly, like he was determined to get himself back on whatever track he had been on before my answer threw him off.

“So now you’re free, right?”  He asked this as he pulled a small, thin candle out of the front of the backpack and pushed it into the hamburger bun sitting in front of me.  He then pulled out a lighter and lit the candle.

“Happy 18th Michael.  Make a wish.”

I immediately felt that sting in my eyes and tickle in my nose, but pushed it down, refusing to even let a tear start to form in the corner of an eye.  Leave it to Alex Manes to know what this day was to me. It was the first birthday to me that held any significance to me, yet like all the others, went ignored by the rest of the world.  Max and Isobel had wished me a happy birthday that morning, but they didn’t say anything about what this day meant to my life.  Age eighteen.  No longer a ward of the state.  CPS no longer had to keep tabs on me, wouldn’t put me in another shit placement where I could be abused, neglected, anything.  Completely on my own.  Alone.

Leave it to Alex to instead see it as my liberation, my independence day.

I watched the flame for a moment.

“I think, sitting here, I already got my wish.  I am getting a meal, and I have you.  What else could I ask for?”

Alex blushed and looked down.  “Guerin, you’re not supposed to say what your wish is out loud. Now blow the candle out before it ruins your bun and you can’t eat around the wax.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d eat the wax and all if it meant food.  I just blew it out.  He then reached for a fry and threw it at me.  I tried to catch it in my mouth but it bounced off my nose and landed in the sand next to the blanket.  I grabbed it, blew the sand off, and tossed it into my mouth.

“Michael that still had sand on it!”

“Hey, waste not, want not.”

He shook his head and passed me a melted milkshake.  I paced myself as I ate the burger and fries, trying to play it cool and not give away how hungry I was.  In that year and a half, and long before to be honest, I had learned to pace eating. Make it look like you’re not hungry, that it doesn’t matter.  It kept adults from looking at you with pity, or with anger.  It kept Max and Iz from looking at me like a charity case.  But I could see in Alex’s eyes – he saw through it all.  He knew. It’s probably why he got all the other snacks.

We ate in silence, both afraid to say something to mess the moment up.  Once the slurping sound of straws sucking empty milkshake cups filled the space, we both laughed and stood up.  Alex slowly approached me, looking hesitantly at me before raising his arms to take me into an embrace.  I returned the gesture quickly, pulling him for a hug, taking comfort in the feeling of him around me again, the smell of his hair, his body wash.  I didn’t want to think about what he was smelling from me.  But he didn’t seem to care.

Alex looked into my eyes and went in for a kiss, gentle and a bit tentative.  The last time we did this, it did not end well for either of us.  But we were in my desert, not his tool shed, and his dad was nowhere to be found, so I pushed into his mouth, deepening the kiss.  We stumbled back and fell onto the blanket, laughing as we pushed the empty food wrappers out of the way.  Hands fumbling, groping, running up and down bodies.  Mouths on each other, on necks.  Hands in hair, grabbing the back of necks.  After a few frantic minutes of us reuniting with the electric emotions of two who had been apart too long, we settled into a more caring pace, frantic touches becoming more caressing, more reverent with each other.

Eventually we pulled apart, both panting, trying to catch our breaths.

Alex looked around, “It’s starting to get dark.  We should move to the back of your truck and off the ground.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I don’t think I need to have any scorpions or other critters join us.”

I grabbed the blanket while Alex grabbed the backpack and basket, putting the rest of the snacks back inside.  He tossed them into the cab of the truck while I spread my sleeping bag and blanket out, adding his to the back of the truck.  He came around to the tail gate where I was sitting, my legs swinging back and forth off the back end.  He stilled the movement of my legs and slid between them, leaning forward to capture me in another kiss.

I broke the kiss and started to slide back into the truck, laying down on the blankets, Alex climbing into the truck and following.  Lazy kisses turned into a passionate make out session.  At some point, shirts came off, as did jeans.  In the growing darkness, we jerked each other off, coming together and locking together in a tight embrace.  After several minutes of catching our breaths and slowing our heart rates, we cleaned up and put our jeans back on, leaned back against the cab of the truck, Alex leaning against my chest.  We sat there for who knows how long, fingers touching each other across our chests, up and down his back or my arms.  The stars came out in full force, and soon the glow of the cloud that makes up the Milky Way stood out above us.  Who knows how long we sat there.

Maybe some dates mean something more than others.  Up to today, they limited my options, kept me at the mercy of whatever control CPS put around my life.  But today, this day?

Alex looked up at me before tucking his head back under my chin, leaning against my chest.

“Happy 18th Michael.”

[lnhumanity]

an agents of shield playlist in chronological order from pre-series, up until the end of season 6 / beginning of season 7.

listen to it here!

song explanations under the cut. warning that its very long, i have a lot of thoughts

01. Two Birds - Regina Spektor

Two birds on a wire / One tries to fly away / And the other watches him close from that wire / He says he wants to as well / But he is a liar

Relating both to May & Coulson after Bahrain, with Coulson trying to help May return to the field, but May refusing, and FitzSimmons immediately pre-season, with Simmons excitement about going into the field contrasted to Fitz’s hesitance, but over-all desire to stay with her.

02. Small - Chloe Moriondo

And I'm suddenly not interested in / whatever the rest of the world has to offer so / I drown facedown in my head and feel my state start to alter cause / You / Because you

After FZZT, Fitz realising that he has romantic feelings towards Simmons.

03. Saturn - Sleeping At Last

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite / How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

FitzSimmons in the med pod under the ocean, with Simmons talking about the first law of thermodynamics.

04. Evaporate - Gabrielle Aplin

Flesh and bone wrapped up in skin / Kept alive by oxygen / But right now breathing is so tough

During the S1/2 hiatus, Fitz starting his recovery and relying on Simmons, while Simmons suffers from PTSD and decides to leave due to her guilt.

05. Waves - Chloe Moriondo

Sometimes I feel like I wanna go back / To a time before my mind turned black / I miss the way it was / When instead of just my gooey brains / All that melted was popsicles and the rain just pelted down / Down on me

Fitz coping with his brain injury after Simmons left.

06. Anybody Out There - Gabrielle Aplin

You never told me why you had to leave / I always thought that you'd come back for me / I'm tired of getting people's sympathy / I know I'd make it back eventually

Fitz coping with Simmons leaving.

07. Hiding In Your Hands - Dear Evan Hansen

Look at her, a total trainwreck / Let her off this ride / Lift her out from all the pain / She tells herself she needs to hide

Simmons after the med pod, hiding her trauma in her music box and convincing others that she’s fine.

08. Just Add Water - Cavetown

Please don't invite me, please don't invite me / I wanna be alone, I wanna be alone / And don't remind me, please don't remind me / I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know

Fitz isolating himself from the rest of the team at the beginning of S2.

09. King and Lionheart - Of Monsters And Men

And in the sea that's painted black / Creatures lurk below the deck / But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

Coulson leading SHIELD as the new director, while May supports him in the field.

10. New River - The Oh Hellos

Well, it'll rain for forty days and nights, / and nothing you do can slow the rising tides / But the river takes her shape from every tempest she abides / And like her, you'll be made new again

Raina and Daisy undergoing terrigenesis, and later being accepted into Afterlife.

11. Earth - Sleeping At Last

Fault lines tremble underneath our glass house / But I put it out of my mind / Long enough to call it courage / To live without a lifeline

Daisy becoming an Inhuman, contrasted with May during and after Bahrain. (So, basically, the episode ‘Melinda’).

12. Wolf - First Aid Kit

Wolf-father, at the door / You don't smile anymore / You're a drifter, shape-shifter / Let me see you run, hey-ya hey-ya

May & Coulson dealing with Gonzalez’s SHIELD while Daisy is hiding from SHIELD at Afterlife.

13. Storm Song - PHILDEL

I'll send a storm / to capture your heart / and bring you home.

FitzSimmons during their countless separations, but specifically put this early in the playlist for Maveth, and Fitz searching for Simmons during the S2/3 hiatus.

14. Spaceland - Chloe Moriondo

Sometimes overthinking can feel like more than overthinking / It's like I'm trapped in spaceland and I'm not coming back

Simmons trapped on Maveth, reflecting on everything that’s happened.

15. Neptune - Sleeping At Last

I'm only honest when it rains / If I time it right, the thunder breaks / When I open my mouth / I wanna tell you but I don't know how

Simmons after returning from Maveth, before she tells Fitz about Will.

16. Yellow Light - Of Monsters And Men

Somewhere deep in the dark / A howling beast hears us talk

Simmons on Maveth with Will.

17. The Currents - Bastille

We're living in the currents you create / We're sinking in the pool of your mistakes / So stub it out, your podium awaits

The team with regards to Ward about all of the tragedies that he’s caused, the impact he’s had on them, and their impending doom with him bringing Hive to Earth.

18. Bad Bad Things - AJJ

And I got to thinking / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / Might go to Heaven, but probably not

Ward killing Roz, torturing Simmons, and dying on Maveth.

19. Blame - Bastille

Fall upon your knees saying / "This is my body and soul here" / Fall and begging, pleading / "You've got the power and control"

Hive and his control over Inhumans.

20. The Last Time - The Script

Why's it so hard to look me in the eye? / Playing with that cross that's on your chain / I know you only ever bite your lip / When it's something you're afraid to say

Lincoln’s sacrifice.

21. Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron

I took a little journey to the unknown / And I come back changed, I can feel it in my bones / I fucked with the forces that our eyes can't see / Now the darkness got a hold on me / Holy darkness got a hold on me

Daisy after being released from Hive’s sway, and dealing with the fallout of Lincoln’s sacrifice.

22. ¿Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl) - Green Day

Little girl, little girl, why are you crying? / Inside your restless soul your heart is dying

Daisy during the S3/4 hiatus, running away from SHIELD.

23. Pluto - Sleeping At Last

Until one day I had enough / Of this exercise of trust. / I leaned in and let it hurt, / And let my body feel the dirt.

Daisy returning to SHIELD.

24. The Steven Bradley - Ghost Bear

My, oh my / you look as good as the day you died! / Oh, who am I kidding? / You look even more alive!

Radcliffe stealing the Darkhold and putting the dying Agnes into the Framework.

25. We Forgot We Were Human - Dirt Poor Robins

So tell me, what do we need with the sun? / Now we have an electric one / To melt every shadow away / Turn the night into day

AIDA and the other LMDs concluding that physical bodies don’t matter when someone’s consciousness has been uploaded into the Framework.

26. Squares - Stepdad

Thinking happy thoughts will fix it oh-no no-no oh-oh uh-oh / Where did I go wrong I guess I don't know whoa-oh uh-oh oh-oh / I'll just go on kidding myself and everything will work itself out

Radcliffe in the Framework, realising the mistakes that he’s made but being unable to do anything about it.

27. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control - Tame Impala

Nothing that has happened so far / Has been anything we could control

Daisy and Simmons fighting back against the LMDs and entering the Framework.

28. Turn The Lights Off - Tally Hall

Everybody likes to get taken for turns / To see how bright the fire inside of us burns / And everybody wants to get evil tonight / But all good devils masquerade under the light

Daisy and Simmons finding out that HYDRA are in control inside the Framework, and seeing what May and Fitz had turned into.

29. Willow Tree March - The Paper Kites

And we all still die / Yeah we all still die / What will you leave behind? / Oh we all still die

Agnes, Mace, Hope and Radcliffe’s deaths, and their impacts on the team.

30. Cabinet Man - Lemon Demon

You can't win me, I can't be beat / I won't hurt you unless you cheat / You can't see me behind the screen / I'm half human and half machine

AIDA becoming a human, and fighting back using her new Inhuman powers, ending with her being killed by the Spirit of Vengeance.

31. Lethargy - Bastille

There's an English man up in space these days / Floating in awe and wonder / As he broke away from the atmosphere / And all of us non-believers

The team arriving at the future Lighthouse, and meeting Deke.

32. Warmth Outro - Bastille

Never good, still the bad and the ugly / Laid in front of us / Clearly we've learned nothing at all / From the TV's window

The remainder of the team during the loop, where they failed to save the Earth.

33. Cutie Boots - Stepdad

I wanna hold you til' it feels like it's been long enough to stop saying I miss you, stop saying I miss you

FitzSimmons reunion in the future Lighthouse.

34. Venus - Sleeping At Last

After a while, I thought I'd never find you. / I convinced myself that I would never find you, / When suddenly I saw you.

FitzSimmons wedding.

35. Stagnant - Chloe Moriondo

I don't know why I'm mean to everyone I love / It's hard to try to communicate / With darkness inside my head / Filling my lungs

Fitz, leading up to his breakdown.

36. The Driver - Bastille

There was a time when a moment like this / Wouldn't ever cross my mind / The sun will rise with my name on your lips / 'Cause everything will change tonight

The Devil Complex.

37. A Dark Design - Among Savages

Oh, there is not a God in heaven that wants to see us fighting this way / Oh, He spoke more about loving than people trying to make people change

The team fighting during S5.

38. Shame - Bastille

I can see a change / I can see a change in you / I see it coursing through your veins / And it is a shame / It is a shame on you / I barely recognize your face

The team continuing to fight - especially Daisy towards Fitz, and Daisy and Yo-Yo after Yo-Yo kills Ruby.

39. Terrified - Among Savages

Cause I'm terrified and I'm ruined by this mess / Cause I needed you more than I needed what was best

FitzSimmons refusing to let each other die & fixing the Gravitonium machine.

40. Icarus - Bastille

Icarus is flying too close to the sun / And Icarus's life, it has only just begun / This is how it feels to take a fall / Icarus is flying towards an early grave

Fitz during S5.

41. Bad Moon Rising - Credence Clearwater Revival

I see a bad moon a-rising / I see trouble on the way / I see earthquakes and lightnin' / I see bad times today

The final battle between Daisy and Graviton.

42. A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosiers

Turn back the time that drew him / But he couldn't be saved / No he couldn't be saved / A sadness runs through him

Fitz’s death.

43. Carry On - fun.

Woah, my head is on fire but my legs are fine / After all, they are mine

The aftermath of the battle.

44. Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you / And we'll live a long life

Coulson’s retirement party.

45. Good Grief - Bastille

Every minute and every hour / I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more / Every stumble and each misfire / I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

Daisy and May’s reaction to Coulson’s death, and Simmons’s reaction to Fitz’s death.

46. Tic Toc - Mother Mother

Big hand, little hand, no hand, slow hand / Sitting in my hand is the sand of a shattered hour glass / And I throw these grains of sand into the wind and laugh / And I do not care just what they'll have to say about that

Simmons realising that there’s another Fitz out there, and her determination to bring him home.

47. Happier - Marshmello

Then only for a minute / I want to change my mind / 'Cause this just don't feel right to me / I want to raise your spirits / I want to see you smile but / Know that means I'll have to leave

Yo-Yo and Mack’s break up during the S5/6 hiatus.

48. Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men

Some hid scars and some hid scratches / It made me wonder about their past / And as I looked around, I began to notice / That we were nothing like the rest

The Zephyr team searching for Fitz, while Fitz and Enoch try to get to Naro-Atzia, during the S5/6 hiatus.

49. The World Ender - Lord Huron

I had a life and a place in the world / I had a sweet talkin' wife and a beautiful girl / I know I'm never gonna see 'em again / Gonna tear the world up until I have my revenge

Sarge hunting for Izel.

50. Spaceman - The Killers

The star maker says, it ain't so bad / The dream maker's going make you mad / The spaceman says, everybody look down / It's all in your mind

S6 as a whole, starting with Fitz in space, and ending with Simmons taking the team to the future, including Izel’s body hopping and Davis’s death.

51. Smile - Mikky Ekko

Smile, the worst is yet to come / We'll be lucky if we ever see the sun / Got nowhere to go, we could be here for a while / But the future is forgiven so smile

The team heading off to stop the Chronicom and save their future.

[championmourned-a]

BEN PLATT  - SING TO ME INSTEAD LYRIC STARTERS

enjoy & feel free to make any changes !

1. Bad Habit

“you always say that I’d come back to you again.”

“everybody needs a friend.”

“hate to say that I love you.”

“hate to say that I need you.”

“hate to say that I want you - but I do!”

“bad habit, I know.”

“can you help me out?”

“can I lean on you?”

“you make me feel like I’m floating off the ground.”

“you make me smile with tears in my eyes.”

“i love the way you lie - i do!”

“hate to say that I’m lonely.”

“hate to say that I miss you.”

2. Ease my mind.

“most days I wake up with a pit in my chest.”

“there are thoughts that I can’t put to rest.”

“most nights I am restless & quiet wont come.”

“i lay there & wait for the sun.”

“you came out of nowhere.”

“you cut through all the noise.”

“i make sense of the madness, when I listen to your voice.”

“darling only you can ease my mind.”

“help me leave these lonely thoughts behind.”

“i can feel my sanity start to unwind.”

“for a moment I felt so afraid.”

“there are pieces i usually hide.”

“you collect me with your steady hand.”

“i feel put back together inside.”

3. Temporary love.

“i feel the gravity between us.”

“you don’t have to hide our love away.”

“we’ll hold still.”

“you’re afraid to need someone, cause you’ve been burned.”

"love is good until it’s gone, that’s what you’ve learned.”

“you don’t have to hide your love away.”

“i know that I’m gonna make mistakes.”

“this is not a temporary love.”

“now your heart is in my hands & i wont give it up.”

“you may not think I know the difference.”

“I feel the gravity between us.”

“you don’t have to hide our love away.”

“we’ll hold still.”

“both of us are gonna make mistakes.”

“look at me & tell me you don’t see it.”

“when the world around you is caving in & the wind will keep on changing, take my hand & let it spin.”

4. Grow as we go.

“you say there’s so much you dont know.”

“you gotta go & find yourself.”

“you say you’d rather be alone, cause you think you wont find it tied to someone else.”

“who said its true, that the growing only happens on your own?”

“they dont know me & you.”

“i dont think you have to leave.”

“if to change is what you need, you can change right next to me.”

“when you’re high, I take the lows.”

“we’ll take it slow & grow as we go.“

“i am unfinished, I got so much left to learn.”

“you don’t ever have to leave.“

“i dont know who we’ll become.”

“i can’t promise its not written in the stars.”

“we’re gonna see that it was better.”

“tell me you dont wanna leave.”

5. Honest man

“there’s something about you in the moonlight.”

“your eyes go so well with the day.”

“you wont let go of your layers.”

“your power can strip me away.”

“it’s easier for us to hide, if you come out, then so will I.”

“promise that i’ll meet you halfway.”

“I see every part of you.”

“i can tell you see me too, by the way that you say my name.”

“i am an honest man.”

“why can’t you take my hand?”

“I’m not what you planned.”

“I’m a save place to land.”

“you’re so afraid of tommorrow.”

“you built your walls up today.”

“you wont believe that you’re ready.”

“i see every part of you.”

“see me as i am.”

“show me that i can.”

“i know i’ve played with hearts before, don’t have the heart to play with yours.”

“when you put your trust me in, how beautiful our love could be.”

“i am who i am.”

6. Hurt me once

"you never used to bring somebody else along.”

“this used to be our thing.”

“all these little things that one can read two ways.”

“seems that I’ve forgotten how to read your face.”

“but i know you too well to get it wrong.”

“if you have to hurt me, hurt me once.”

“if you have to end it, get it done.”

“you have all these choices.”

“you’re all that I have to lose.”

“couldn’t hurt you if I wanted to.”

“one by one the memories will start to blurr.”

“you ruin the good ones.”

“don’t humor me with kindness.”

“there’s nothing kind about a hundred small betrayals.”

“if i’m disappointed, it’s cause you’re not the person I knew.”

“if i had it my way, i’d be kinder than you.”

“i’m sure I’d forgive you.”

“i’m ashamed, but I’m proud of it too.”

7. New

“wish that i’d have known this feeling was coming, when i was crying over you.”

“now that you’re gone, i carry nothing.”

“it feels like flying.”

“used to throw a party over every little thing you do.”

“never going back to that.”

„heartsick little loverboy who went & lost himself in you.“

“now I’m feeling so brand new.”

“never felt so brand new.”

“burned all your letters just for fun.”

“all of that time is easy to swallow, now that I’m better.”

8. Better

“i don’t know if you’re listenting.”

“i’m not good at pretending, that I am happy to be alone.”

“part of me is a question, I can’t answer it on my own.”

“i lost a part of me, when I lost all of you.”

“i don’t wanna come crawling.”

“i catch myself falling.”

“did you keep my sweater?”

“did you read my letter?”

“do you know me better, than I know myself?”

“i don’t feel like we’re done here.”

“you got a lock on the things I want.”

“i don’t have you to kiss now.”

“i’m putting myself to sleep.”

“but it’s me that I miss now.”

9. Share your adress

"darling, you might think it’s too soon.”

“i can’t get you out of my head now.”

“i wanna be with you til I’m dead now.”

“i want your friends to by my friends.”

“i want it all with you.”

“if i’m coming on too strong, it’s cause I waited far too long for someone just like you.”

“i wanna clean up your mess.”

“i wanna know where you hide things.”

“i know it’s too soon, too fast.”

“it feels like love.”

“i just wanna stare at your face.”

“we can overdrink at your favourite place.”

“i wanna watch you while you sleep.”

“i know I might sound like a creep.”

“i can’t help myself.”

“it’s so easy to forget, that we have barely even met.”

“i want no one else.”

“i wanna be your emergency contact.”

“it doesn’t matter where I go.”

“without you, I’ll never be home.”

“i wanna be in your photos.”

“i wanna share your address.”

10. In case you don’t live forever.

"you put all your faith in my dreams.”

“you gave me the world that I wanted.”

“what did I do to deserve you?“

“i follow your steps with my feet.”

“i’Il walk on the road that you started.”

“i’ve waited way too long to say everything you mean to me.”

“i’ll love you more than you will ever wrap your head around.”

“i’m everything that I am, because of you.”

“we’ve only got so much time.”

“you are my hero, whenever I need one.”

“i’m a man, because you taught me to be one.”

11. Older.

"life’s gonna find you, when it’s supposed to.”

“when you are younger, you wish you are older.”

“when you are older, you wish for time to turn around.”

“don’t let your wonder turn into closure.”

“have I killed my thoughts right before their prime?”

“have i bit my tongue one too many times?”

“if i wait ‘til my tommorrow comes, is the waiting all i’ve ever done?”

“will i get to know myself in the place I am?”

“will I get to fall in love with another man?”

12. Run Away

“i may not be wise & I wont save the day.”

“look in my eyes & know i’ll always stay.”

“to love is not to leave.”

“i wont run away.”

“they had a child.”

“he was funny, strange & mild.”

“you say it’s saver on your own.”

“you’d rather sleep alone, then grow to need me there.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

[bangtanfancamp]

the Devil wears Gucci-Part 3

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Masterlist

▪︎series Masterlist

���︎Kim Taehyung x reader(featuring Kim Namjoon)

▪︎1.7k words

•Enemies to lovers au, fashion industry au, loosely devil wears Prada au, f*ckboy au, fluff, romance, angsty banter

As the dedicated personal assistant of the genius mind behind House of RM, the empire that rules the fashion industry, your world is turned upside down the day Namjoon personally asks you to train his newest hire- the eternally insufferable opposite Kim Taehyung.

(Not my photo. Credit to vantaeholic)

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(Tae’s lunch || Tae’s POV)

I used one of my fries to poke the others around my plate, trying to figure out how I’d screwed this up all ready. I know I tend to joke around a lot, but it always seems to put women at ease. Things go better when they’re laughing. And whose day isn’t better for being flirted with?

I just had to work for the one girl who got pissed off by it. Everyone likes me. So what was the problem? Even the women at the cafeteria here liked having me smile at them or tell them how beautiful they were. Women liked that kind of attention, right?

Everyone goes through their day trying to impress the world around them, but everyone else is so wrapped up in themselves that they never even see them. I see it. I see how long the girl who took my order spent trying to cover up her freckles with her makeup, so I told her how cute they were. I saw how tired the woman who gave me my change was so I told her how much her eyes sparkled in this light. I noticed how nervous that cute girl across the office was so I smiled at her. What was so wrong with that?

Why did ____ have to look so disgusted with me all the time? I was just having fun. Life is hard enough anyway. People want to laugh. People want to be told they look good. And so what if I get a date out of it or someone invites me home. We’re all adults and we’re allowed to have fun. No one needs to be that serious all the time. And God, she worships that maniac, doesn’t she?

She got so mad when I mentioned it though. I thought girls liked talking about their crushes, but... maybe ____ is more private than I thought. Maybe I took it too far. It’s just so infuriating how she talks about him. She’s just so wrapped up in praising god Kim Namjoon- she made it so obvious that she had a thing for that egomaniac. I thought she’d finally laugh with me or at the very least blush and elbow me in the ribs, but she looked….i don’t know. She looked hurt. I think I crossed a line I didn’t mean to.

God, it’s barely been a day and I’d wrecked the only good part of this job. I noticed her the second I walked into that office. She got to me in 2 seconds flat. That hair, those legs, the way that skirt hit her curves- it made want to wrap my hands around those hips and bend her right over that jerk’s desk. God. I was already gone the second I laid eyes in her...

But then when she looked at me and I saw her face….she was beautiful. She’s quick and clever and obviously good at what she does. Everyone here seems to get along with her. I like ____. Honestly, she seems pretty cool. She’s just stuck on that douchebag. But hey, some girls are are really into that whole power and authority kink. Who am I to judge?

I just didn’t think there’d be any harm being vocal about things since everyone seems to think I won’t last here very long anyway. Might as well shoot my shot while I can, right ?

I slid my hips down in my seat and raked my hands through my hair. This place would never be my first choice, but it didn’t seem that bad, I guess.

There were things I’d much rather be doing with my time, but I’d do it for my mom. Anything for her. My stupid uncle in her ear caused this whole mess. At the end of the day, all of this was his fault for meddling in my life anyway.

Chin propped in my hands, I looked out the hundredth set of floor to ceiling windows I’d seen today wondering how long I’d even have this view when movement in the corner of the room caught my eye. It was ____. I felt myself starting to smile just because she was here. Maybe we could get on the right foot now and she’d loosen up a li-wait. She looked like- like she’d been crying. The skin beneath her eyes was puffy, and the light she’d had around her earlier seemed.... dimmer. Her teeth were clenched, her chin set extra high as she walked my way, white knuckling the tablet in her hands. She looked pissed. But calmly so, which was honestly scarier.

Crap, I really stepped in it this time, didn’t I?

I quickly scrambled to stand up from the table, but she pulled out a chair instead and sat down beside me. Folding her fingers together on the tabletop, she cleared her throat and looked up at me, challenge and grit lacing her gaze.

“Have a seat please, Mr. Kim.”

For the first time in a long time, I had no idea what to say, so I followed her instructions.

“I’m glad to see you retained enough information from our tour to have been able to find this place. That’s a good sign at least. If you already have the layout down, I’ll brief you on what a basic day here looks like. Tomorrow Namjoon will be returning from a charity gala in Miami. On a typical morning, he is to be greeted with his hot coffee of choice, typically an extra hot hazelnut latte with an extra shot of espresso. Not two shots. Not three. Just one. Trust me, he’ll know. He despises soy milk and has an almond allergy so no fancy milks unless you’d like to be wearing it as an accessory for the rest of your day. Now that is a normal day, however, when he returns from a red eye flight, he expects to be promptly greeted with the first step of the juice cleanse from the Buddha bliss juice bar down on 7th so he is not visibly puffy during any press work for the day….”

She rattled on like this in detail for the next 15 minutes and it finally started to sink in who the real power at house of RM was-_____. Sure Namjoon pulled the big levers, but she made sure he never fell apart and that seemed like a super power all by itself. She knew every like, dislike, allergy, pet schedule, dry cleaner, exercise schedule, person to kiss up to, person to avoid...And she knew every contingency to tweak things for so he didn’t go off the rails and downsize half a department for their assumed incompetency just because he was sleep deprived and jet lagged off a red eye after being dumped by his latest high profile fling.

Not gonna lie- it was extremely impressive. And kind of hot. I don’t know if I’d ever seen a girl that strategic and smart. She really knew what she was doing. How she managed to be three steps ahead of the world's youngest self made man was a fearsome thing to see. The way she analyzed all these situations made me wonder if she was analyzing me too, but I didn't think on that for too long. She didn’t romanticize him this time. I noticed that. Just laid out all the facts as they were and how to troubleshoot for all of them. It was like watching a master explain chess strategies, and I respected it.

But at the same time, it made me wonder. Just how much of a man-sized brat was Namjoon? it was kind of disgusting how much the man needed to be coddled honestly. How easily everyone accommodated his massive ego. It definitely didn’t help me hate him any less.

“So!” She resolved, tapping a stack of papers against the tabletop to level them out.

“I realize that was probably an onslaught, but you have to dive straight into the deep end to stay ahead here. Any questions?”

“Yeah, just one: what time do you get here every day?” I leaned forward on my elbows, searching her face. She seemed caught off guard by my question, quickly trying to rearrange her expression after feeling like she’d been in control for our entire conversation.

“Just before 7am. I try to beat Namjoon here so I can prepare things for the day. It doesn’t always work though. It’s almost like he sleeps here sometimes.”

“And what time do you go home?”

“On paper? 6pm. In reality? I’d say typically 10 on a good night. Somewhere between 11 and midnight on his particularly temperamental days.”

Holy crap. Was she serious? “Last question.”

“Okayyy…” she pulled back from the table, body language screaming discomfort about where I might be going.

“So, if you’re here- how many days a week?”

“Five.” She answered succinctly, tone clipped. “Unless we’re approaching a deadline for a project- then weekends become mandatory too.” Jesus.

“And any holidays?” I add. Her gentle face is steely and guarded. I wouldn’t trust me right now either, dollface.

“Of course not. But there often is more work to be done than that accommodates so I usually come in anyway.”

“Uh huh. Right. So! Let me get this straight- you know what? for your sake, let’s even round down some. Let’s say, you’re here six days a week, working anywhere from 11-15 hour days. At minimum, you’re working well over at least 15-20 hours of overtime PER week with no vacations— which is not only unethical, it’s illegal. All for the glorious empire of Kim Namjoon. So. Riddle me this-when do you ever get to live your own life?”

Silence.

She dipped and furrowed her eyebrows at me. I could see her lashes fluttering as she scrambled overtime to come up with a defensive answer for me. I settled back in my seat, arms draped behind my head, knowing in some weird way, that I had won.

“You’re beautiful. You’re young. This can’t possibly be the way you want to spend all your time. Tell me-When was the last time you slept in til the sun woke you up? The last time you had a Netflix marathon in a grubby old T-shirt with dorito stains on your fingers and a giant glass of wine? Or! even went out on actual date for that matter? Why are you here wasting your 20’s away in this place running Namjoons company for him and getting none of the credit?”

She gaped, beautiful mouth struggling open and shut like a fish freshly yanked out of the water. I couldn’t tell if she was furious with me or just lost. It didn’t look like she’d ever asked herself that before.

“Look, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do my job here. I’ll do what you ask. But do me a favor and think about that. It’d be such a shame to see so much beautiful potential go to waste.” I pushed off from the table to stand. I felt my chest swell- I had the upper hand again. “Now, I believe you mentioned something earlier about finding me a desk space upstairs. Shall we get started on that? I’ll need a pleasing environment if I’m expected to slug through all of Namjoon’s nonsense on a daily basis. The closer to you, the better.” I started to walk away, not waiting for her but knowing in my gut she’d follow. She wasn’t the only one allowed to have a mic drop moment.

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Part 4

Series masterlist

Thank you guys so much for reading til the end and visiting my little corner of the internet. I am SO excited about where this series is going. I started writing one of the last chapters first and have been going backwards to figure out what happened to get us there and- you guys- I can’t wait for you to see!! Should I try to come up with a regular upload schedule?? Let me know. ✨