#so id just have really awful days and i could never figure out the correlation between how i felt and if i was hungover

[hella1975]

i hate reading hangovers in fics bc either not a single fic writer ever has written an accurate hangover OR mine are just weird and you know what i think i can tell which one it is. like where is my representation for the bitches that get incredibly depressed when they're hungover. like it cant just be me alcohol is literally a depressant. i have to actually police myself and my thought process when im hungover bc ive realised it just makes me unreasonable. i have to go 'we'll think about this tomorrow' no matter how pressing the problem seems bc i honest to god cannot respond proportionally when im hungover i convince myself the world is ending and that im an awful awful person and yeah okay i can see why people aren't adding this fun part of hangovers into their cute fluff fics now

[jacksgreysays]

51. "I don't know if your wings are real / but I've never seen you without them / and I follow you everywhere." Fire Fallow Cultivation

I don’t know if your wings are real,but I’ve never seen you without them,and I follow you everywhere.(you have a nice living room)

—

When eight year old Sasuke wakes up after his aniki… after That Man killed… After…

When Sasuke wakes up After, hollowed out and muddled and crushed under the weight of his own grief, he thinks maybe he’s just dreaming. Not about what happened–he knows the truth–but now, currently.

Either that or maybe, instead of sparing him, That Man really did kill him. Maybe he’s dead.

The medic who checks on him has wings, feathery and small and light brown like a sparrow’s. He’s never heard of a bloodline like that. He must be dreaming, then.

He is not.

—

It takes a while for him to figure out what is happening, mostly because there are so many possible explanations for it and, frankly, he has other more obvious matters to worry about. But on the few occasions when everything grows to be too much, or he needs to just take a break, or on those lighter days when he can pretend that this mystery is the greatest problem in his life, he can ponder it freely.

It’s not a bloodline: The medic from that first day was civilian born, and more besides, he sees other people with wings around Konoha, none of whom are related to each other whatsoever and some of whom are in different clans.

It’s not a genjutsu either, he’s already learned how to dispel them with a kai, and the hospital would never let a patient leave while they’re under one.

He wonders for a while if maybe it’s the Sharingan. Other people can’t seem to see it, not even the Hyuuga, and its not as if it’s so far a leap.

But he doesn’t remember anyone from his clan talking about wings Before, and besides… he doesn’t have the Sharingan yet.

—

Not everyone has wings and, while he hasn’t exactly been taking notes, there doesn’t necessarily seem to be any correlation between the person and their wings’ size or colors.

Some people match what he’d think of them:

Kakashi-sensei has small, grey wings. A little darker than his hair but just as messy, feathers ruffled and out of alignment. Frequently they look like they’re broken, except they can’t be because they’re not real.

Naruto’s are a riot of color–though not yellow like his hair–they’re always up and reaching as if, maybe this time he’ll actually be able to fly.

Some people don’t:

Sai’s wings are fluffy, a white so bright they nearly hurt to look at, and constantly moving around.

Sakura’s are sleek, plumage dark but iridescent like the surface of a bubble in the sun. They only flare out when she’s angry, but are otherwise still for the most part.

Yamato-taicho doesn’t have wings–which somehow doesn’t seem like much of a surprise–but neither does Shikako, which is one.

Sasuke doesn’t either, and he’s not sure how he feels about that.

—

Tsunade-sama’s wings are massive, wide enough to touch either end of the Hokage’s office at the same time, and ever so expressive. There’s a few patchy, ragged places, but her wings don’t look any less magnificent for them.

He’s never seen her in battle–not one outside the political arena, that is–but he thinks such a sight would be awe inspiring.

This is what a Hokage is, this is what a Hokage should be.

(The Sandaime visited Sasuke in the hospital, once, After, but before the wings became his norm. Now, looking back, Sasuke remembers that there were no wings behind the robe and hat.)

He may be Hawk, but Tsunade-sama is the one who looks like she could rule the skies.

—

(The first time he sees wings without feathers, skeletal and horrific, sharply painful things, they are jutting out of Orochimaru.

The second time they’re on the back of That Man, a terrible silhouette to an already nightmarish figure.

It doesn’t take much to figure out what that means.)

—

Whenever he uses his Sharingan, Sasuke can no longer see the wings.

He’s not sure how he feels about that, either.

~

A/N: Um… so… very little Tsunade in this, anon, except for the section with Sasuke’s fanboying, but I guess my brain caught more on the “wings” part of the prompt and ran away with it. Please enjoy, regardless.

Highly influenced by the BBC Sherlock fic (written in 2010, so before all the awfulness of the later seasons) called A City on the Head of a Pin by Mad_Maudlin. I tweaked it a bit so that going bad didn’t lead to bat like wings but rather just skeletons.

Because bats are cool and fuzzy and great.

I guess if you really tilt your head and squint this isn’t necessarily canon noncompliant? (And if you tilt your head the other way and clap three times you can maybe consider this as part of the Walking Around aka Sakako Uchiha ‘verse. Sakako sees dead people, Sasuke sees angels in the living.)

Number + Ship + (optional) AU –> my ask box

[If anyone else wants to do a softer world prompt that isn’t on the list, you can just send the page id number for the original comic instead.]

[jsetranscripts]

YOU MUST BE DETAINED | Papers, Please #2

Key:

[words] = Descriptive

{words} = Voicing in-game character

+words+ = Voicing non-game character

words (in bold) = Said in ‘Arstotzkan’ accent

‘words’ = In game text

(words/letters) = Mispronunciation by JSE

Note: Transcript will be using British English. 

Transcript:

Top of the morning to ye laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to Papers, Please! I wanted to play more of them because I feel like there’s more to show off in this version of it, or, this episode of it. Because the first one was just all introductions and everything. I still don’t know exactly what I’m doing perfectly, but I’ll get there in the end and if I make some mistakes, who cares? That’s what the game is about. You’re supposed to make mistakes here and there to figure out what you’re doing.   

‘Checkpoint expansion postponed. Government blames lax immigration control(s).’ Hey! We’re doing okay! They’re going to start bringing in new documents as well. I think. I don’t know, maybe they will. And then this is gonna make my life so much harder. 

Ah, crap. ‘Stricter new credentials requirements have been instituted. Arstotzkan citizens must show their ID card. Foreigners must secure and present a valid entry permit. Entry tickets are no longer sufficient.’ Okay, so you need an entry permit, and the Arstotzkans need an ID card. Good God, man. This is getting confusing. ‘Check all information thoroughly. A new chapter detailing documents features - ah, blah blah blah. ‘Deny any applicant with discrepant documents-’ so any sort of discrepancy at all. Fuck ‘em. ‘Refer to the audio transcript’- yes. Uh, nothing new there, and nothing new there, okay. So imma keep you open, maybe. Just in case! Um, alright! Open me shutters, next please! Bring them on in for the day! I have to get through these guys fast.

‘Papers, please.’ Okay, um. You have an entry permit. Sweet. So, I have to be fast about this. Um, ‘Yuri Stanislav’, yes, yes. Yes, yes. Everything’s matching perfectly. Expiration. Enter by. Matching, matching, ‘no correlation’. Uh, I think it’s okay. I think it’s okay. No correla- what? I thought they w- they’re the same thing! How could they have no correlation if they’re the exact same numbers? They must correlate at some way. There you go. I think you’re okay. Hopefully, I don’t fuckin know. Cuz, y- y- you’re trying to get through them really fast. And I’m waiting for, like, something to pop up here saying you made a mistake. You’re allowed two mistakes and then you get a warning.

Um, okay, entry permit. Let me see your name. Technically, I should- aw, crap. ‘No correlation.’ Wait! I still don’t know why that has no correlation. That makes no sense. Um. Uh, I- I don’t. Oh g- g- g- g- God. Uh. Expiration. ‘Discrepancy detected’! That’s wrong! ‘This document has expired. I was busy.’ Go f yourself in the a. Y-You’re not getting into my country! No way, no how, no sir! Arstotzka is a proud country! Not allowed in if you have discrepant documents! Do I get money if I reject people? Or only if I let them in? Is it just processing?   

Okay, you don’t, uh, you don’t have the thing. You don’t have the thing, where’s me rule book? You don’t have the thing that we need. ‘Basic rules.’ Uh, you need an entry permit. Give me your entry permit! ‘Entry permit? I have ticket here. Let me through.’ Um, no. Do- I need more than that. ‘You have no entry permit. Entry permit? I have ticket’- no, no, no. You need an entry permit, or you’re not allowed into the country! Tickets are not sufficient anymore. Get lost Velma. ‘Get a permit’! ‘Bullshit! I pay good money for ticket.’ Yeah, well, you should’ve learned what the new rules were! Pay properly! Trying to get into my country, man.

+Hello little person.+ Kay, do you have stuff? Uh, face is the same. ‘Transit through the country. Duration of stay? I remain for couple’ of ‘days.’ Okay, yeah. Th- That matches up. ‘Enter by. Matching data.’ Uh, ‘matching data.’ Is your name matching? What? How is that ‘no correlation’? Is that not your fuckin name? Th- no correlation. Really? Oh, wait. ‘Discrepancy detected.’ Your name is wrong. ‘I have two different names. Fingerprint.’ G- g, take your fingerprints! Okay, now what? It’s different names! ‘My name was changed recently. Applicant’s fingerprints and claimed name/alias must match this record. No known alias.’ I don’t know what that means! Uh-oh! What do I do? ‘Matching data.’ Okay. Maybe their name was changed recently. Okay. Got it, got it, got it. You can come in then. That’s throwing me for a loop now. I don’t fucking know, take this and go. Do not give me bad news! Okay, I think I- Aw, fuck it! ‘Alias does not match record. Entry-’ [tuts] dammit! Okay, so they have to have an ali- God, fuck! I don’t know man, it’s hard to figure out what the hell is going on sometimes!

Names. This. Uh, ‘discrepancy detected. You cannot enter using an expired document. Please let me pass, my son is waiting.’ Aw man, now I feel fucking terrible. I’m sorry if your son is waiting. I- aw God, aw God. [Inhales through teeth] Oh, I feel bad! Oh God, is the end of the day here yet? Ugh. I’m sorry that your son was waiting.

‘Papers, please’! Hello. ‘What is purpose of your trip? I plan to work. Duration of stay? It will be 60 days.’ That matches. Those do not though, oh they do. ‘Matching data.’ That has no correlation. ‘Matching data.’ Your face, your name. Everything good? Feel like everything’s good. Okay. Oh! You’re an Arstotzkan though. You n- you need, you need a thing, don’t you? ‘Citizens must have an ID card.’ Where’s your ID card? Okay, maybe you- maybe you have it. Is this your ID card? I- I don’t know. I’m confused! I thought they needed something extra now. Your entry permit - oh wait. Oh wait, you’re not an Arstotzkan. Never mind. [Chuckles] Oops! I’m alwa- ah fuck it! I knew I did a b- wrong thing! ‘Invalid issuing city. Last warning, no penalty.’ I don’t know what the thing is! I don’t know how to check the issuing city.

‘I remain for couple of weeks.’ Okay, I’m doing bad at this now. My son is gonna die at home. I’ve a feeling. ‘Henry Khop’. That’s not your name! ‘These names do not match. I have multiple names.’ Give me your fuckin fingerprints. Gimme your fingerprints. ‘No known alias.’ Get fucked. It said ‘no known alias’. If there’s ‘no known alias’, that means you don’t have two names. Go fuck yourself. Get out of my country. Get out. Get out of Arstotzka. Think I’m doing okay. I don’t know. [Nervously chuckles].      

You again! Remember this fucker from last time? Look! No, no du- it’s not right! This is not good, you must have a valid one! This is not good! ‘This passport is crude’ and ‘fake. {Hey now! Is not true! Is pre-approved!}’ No it’s not! Get outta my country! ‘Stamp here’, oh God I almost accepted him. The stamp doesn’t even fit the box. ‘Cobristan is not a real country. {Ok, ok. You no like passport, I understand. I come back again with better one.}’ Just don’t come back at all. You don’t have the right documents, you’re not allowed in. So as long as I get through it without making another mistake I’m fine.

Okay, you have your ID card with you. Good, cuz you’re an Arstotzkan. Um, these are different names! ‘These names do not match. My name was changed recently.’ Fingerprints. Gimme your fingerprints! What’re you saying to me? Um, no. That’s still a discrepancy. They don’t match! ‘I have multiple names.’ You have ‘no known alias’ either. Which I think means that you’re not allowed in. Um, wait, wait. Does that- that’s the same right? Everything else is the same though. I think. Could I have another discrepancy? Really make me feel good about it? Okay, I don’t thi- I don’t think I can let you in! [Unintelligible stuttering] As long as I can find a discrepancy, you’re not allowed into this country. Get out! Go home. Did we do good? Our day is over! I think we did okay!

[Sings along with music]. ‘Your son is sick and needs medicine.’ Everybody else is hungry, so. Nobody’s cold, so I can get rid of the heat, but we need the medicine. I- I need to get as much as I can. I only processed four people! I think you’re supposed to process like 11 a day? I think I read that somewhere, but I don’t know. It’s hard to keep up man. I need some tips! ‘Republi(c)an track star wanted for murder. Vince Lestrade’s whereabouts unknown - has likely fled Republia. Vince Lestrade: Profile. Girlfriend killed in jealous rage?’ Dude! That’s not cool.

Oh God, don’t a- don’t give me more rules now! I don’t- I’m already having a hard time keeping up with the rules that I just had. ‘You’ re ‘now authorised to detain suspicious individuals.’ [Gasps] ‘Interrogate discrepancies to enable detention option.’ Oh I have all the power now! Okay so that’s not- that’s not much. That’s not much new, okay. W-We got this, we got this, we got this. Next please! Bring on the next pig! [Makes pig noises].  

‘Papers, please.’ You are not an Arstotzkan. Where do I see the issuing city? Issuing: ‘Glorian’. But where- what do I put it against? I put this against... what? ‘No correlation.’ You see no- nothing has any correlation. Oo, oo, oo! You said you had no correlation before, now there’s a discrepancy detected. ‘There is a discrepancy here. Oh? Hey wait.’ Detain! ‘Just deny my passport and I will go away. Wait here.’ Oh God! I actually detain them? Wait, did it say detain everybody? ‘You are now authorised to detain suspicious individuals.’ Oh but he was only- I- I- oh I dunno if I should detain him. 

Kay, you seem like you’re good. You seem like everything’s working out beautifully for you. We’re gonna see if your dates match up. Let’s see if your weight matches up. Everything’s good, everything’s good. You are allowed into the country my friend! Thank you for coming. Arstotzka, greatest country. Make us proud. Go do work. ‘Glory to Arstotzka.’ That felt good. As long as you don’t tell me there’s a discrepancy here. As long as you don’t throw a bomb at them or something.

Kay, ‘Republia’. Let me see. That has ‘no correlation. Matching data. Matching data. Matching data.’ Okay. Everything’s looking good for you Lestra-. You’re on the k- oh! You’re the guy! You’re the guy who’s in trouble! I don’t- I dunno what I should be doing. Um, can I interrogate you? ‘Bostan’, versus, I dunno what to- I dunno what to put it against! Uh, this! I dunno! Oo, oo! He’s on the run but everything- he has everything good! Should I deny him? I dunno! Lemme see! ‘Republi(c)an track star wanted for murder.’ Kay, can I- can I actually- oh here we go! Yes! ‘You are Vince Lestrade’. ‘Damn. Look, I did not kill her. I was set up. Do not believe the Republian lies. Let me through.’ Detained! ‘What is happening? Shit.’ We got him! Okay, good, good, good. Sweet! I figured it out.

‘Papers, please.’ Hello moustache man! ‘What is the purpose of your trip? I will visit friends. Duration of stay? I’ will ‘ stay 60 days.’ Okay, that matches up. Um, this and this? Ah hah! ‘You cannot enter using an expired document. I was busy.’ I don’t fucking care. Outta my country. There you go. Hup, hup! Bye! I’m not letting anybody through though, I let one guy through. I need to ge- let more people through to get my money. So I need to learn how to do this faster.   

Okay, this and this. This, this. This, names. Are they all goo- are names good? Okay, I thi- I think you’re good. I think you’re good, I think you’re good. Okay, I’ll let you through. You seem like a good guy, so I’ll let you through. I don’t know if the issuing city is wrong, cuz I don’t fucking know. ‘Ugh.’ Why you ugh-ing for? Don’t ‘ugh’ at me! Kay, I think he’s okay, I’m not getting a thing down here. 

‘Papers, please.’ Hello there, how are you? ‘I am immigrating to Arstotzka.’ Oh, you’re going ‘forever’. Your ‘duration of stay’ is ‘forever’. You don’t look the same. ‘Your appearance has changes. The years have been cruel.’ What? ‘Gabriel’ ‘T(a)les.’ Kay, I think your name matches up. Everything’s good right? I think everything else matches. I think you’re actually okay. What’s this one say? Okay. Those are actually just your fingerprints. Um, kay I need to be faster, I need to be faster. See everything is- matches up. So maybe she’s okay. I’ll let her through. She seems to be okay. Um, wait what day is today? 27, date of birth-. Yeah, okay, she’s old. I think. I dunno, I dunno. I- I’m panicking, I’m panicking man. Smearing her thing all over that. Don’t tell me the thing, don’t tell me, I think I did good! Think I did okay! Yes! Okay.

Hello, how are you? ‘What is the purpose of your trip? I am visiting relatives.’ Kay, you’re only visiting. ‘Duration of stay?’ Two weeks? That’s good, everything is in order here, sir. Lemme just check your documents, and lemme just see for a second. ‘Matching data. Matching data. Matching data. Conor March.’ That’s a- that’s a very normal name. Everything seems to match. See, there’s the issuing city but what do I put it against? ‘Tsunkeido.’ See, I don’t know. That against, fucking, this? ‘No correlation.’ I don’t know, I don’t know. I think you’re good though. So, here we go. Boonk! Entry granted. ‘Cause no trouble.’ You cause trouble I come find you and I break your face. Fuck! ‘Invalid expiration date.’ Dammit! I didn’t check! Runnin outta time man. Runnin outta time. 

Th-the- they- they do not correlate. What am I doing? Um, ‘Vosto(v) Pyotr.’ I don’t fucking know. ‘Matching data.’ Oh that’s your name, never mind. Date of birth. Uh, ‘enter by.’ Okay, here we go. And expiration. Everything matches! Are we good? I think you’re good. I think you’re fine. Did I check this already? I think I did. Um, ‘no correlation.’ Okay, um, I don’t know! Enter. Enter the country, you’ll be fine. Whoosh! Whoosh! ‘Thank you so much! Please be kind to my wife she is just after me.’ Oh she’s gonna have to get rejected isn’t she? Oh no! Oh no!   

Ah, she doesn’t have the thing! ‘Did you see my husband? He made it through, yes?’ You don’t have your document though! Oh, I’m sorry! ‘Where is your entry permit? Please, I beg you. They would not gi’- permit me. ‘I have no choice. I will be killed if I return to Antegria.’ Oh no! Is everything else okay though? Oh, this is sad. This is so sad. I think everything else is okay too. I can’t let you in. I can’t let you in, there’s a discrepancy, you don’t have the thing! ‘You have doomed me.’ Oh no! Oh I feel so bad! Ah dude!       

Did I do 4 again? Sweet! So everyone’s cold so I can- I don’t need food, all I need is heat. ‘Upgrade booth.’ What’s upgrading my booth do? Imma do that though. ‘Booth upgrade available: Space key to toggle inspect mode.’ Okay, yeah! It’s gonna make it easier! Okay. ‘Jobs few, becoming fewer. Immigrants taking jobs from locals. Vince Lestrade apprehended in Grestin. Track champ looks quite guilty now.’ Yes, I did good!    

I- I’d love to see some like speedrunners of this game play. Pressed the space before the thingy pops up. ‘The Ministry of Labour has instituted a special program to control immigration labour. Travelers entering for work require a valid work pass.’ O-Okay so I have to look out for that. If they’re travelling for work I need to look for a work pass. Okay. So, insp- I can just press space for this now instead of having to go down here. That makes things much faster. But I’d love to see some people who are really good at the game. Just like whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! Wrong! Bang! Uh- that’s good, stamp! Ah, I’m not good enough for that. I- I probably never will be either because I don’t know- I haven’t even uploaded the first episode of this yet so I don’t know how people are enjoying the game. 

Okay, you’re a work pass. ‘I plan to work.’ O-kay, good God, there’s a lot of fucking stuff here on screen! Gonna match these first. Your name matches, your face matches. You’re male. Expiration. This matches, that matches. ‘Six months’ for ‘work.’ You and you. See there’s probably some stuff that you’re able to just, like, see off the bat. Um, ‘Benjamin,’ yes. Uh, ‘until.’ Kay, everything matches! You’re good, you’re good. Uh, boom! Thanks, thanks, thanks. ‘Cause no trouble.’ Go work your ass off. Make Arstotzka even greater country than before. Don’t tell me the thing. Don’t tell me the issuing city was wrong cuz I don’t fucking know how to do that still. I probably should. 

‘Purpose of your trip? I plan to work.’ Okay, got it. ‘Duration of stay? It will be half a year.’ Six months, that’s- that’s good. ‘No correla’- oh, click on this! ‘Matching data.’ Um, is this right? Kay, that’s good. Um, is your name the same? ‘Bearing passport number.’ Where is the thing to match against the-? I don’t fucking know! ‘Matching data.’ Does your name match this? Kay, cool; matches that. This matches this. Got it, got it; you’re allowed in. You have everything you need. Good jibity job! Approved! Pity the stamp wasn’t faster. Thank you for this! ‘For all your fantasies. Please help me.’ What? ‘A man names Dari Ludum promised me and my sister good work in Arstotzka. I do not trust him. I am afraid he will take my passport and force me to work at brothel. He is in line today.’

Is it you? ‘Please do something.’ You’re ‘immigrating to Arstotzka.’ Okay. What is his name? ‘Dari Ludum.’ Or Dani Ludum. It’s not him, okay. You’re immigrating, okay, so you’re going ‘forever. Enter by.’ Enter... oh wait, that was not the right thing! This and this. Okay, everything’s good. You’re not female! Are you ‘male or female? As the document says.’ I don’t believe you! I think you’re trying to pull the wool over my eyes old ‘Nikolai’! Oh, not today Nikolai! Not today. Arstotzka is smarter country than that, you cannot get in with your shitty haircut. Piss off! Okay, I wanna read this again. ‘Please do something.’ Okay, maybe I can inspect him.

‘Papers, please.’ You come for work. Um, okay it’s not him. You ‘stay a few weeks.’ Okay, I guess that would be a month. Ah lemme- I keep clicking that anyway even though I don’t-. Your name is not the same! ‘I have two different names.’ Gimme your fucking fingerprints bro. Gimme them prints! Okay, okay, that checks out. That checks out. ‘Discrepancy cleared.’ Sweet! Okay, I think you might be allowed in then. You’re working, ‘fine-arts.’ Uh, until this. Lemme check the expirations. And lemme check this. If you find one discrepancy does that mean it’s good then? If you like find one discrepancy, is there only one discrepancy per person? So if I find a discrepancy and then I clear it, can I just, like, bring on the next person? I dunno. I dunno if there’s more than one discrepancy.        

You again? Get outta here bro! ‘I am back again! This time everything’ s ‘set’. No, you don’t have the thing! He’s gonna show it though on the desk I imagine. Gimme- gimme your ticket. ‘Oh man you funny guy!’ Get outta my country bro! This is not valid! Y-You need an entry ticket, get out! ‘Wow, you run very strict border here. {That is good. Do job right. I look for entry thing and come back.} Yeah, you do that bro. Pe- stupid people in my booth.

Oh, you look like the guy. No, you’re not. Sorry. [Chuckles] You ‘will move here.’ Okay, so you’re moving ‘forever. Enter by.’ Everything looks good here! ‘Gerbos Canholdu.’ I thi- I think we’re good. I think we’re good. A-Are we good? I have no idea. Um, are these good? Okay, imma let you in. Do not- do not disappoint me there, Gerbos! Do not tell me that the issuing city was wrong cuz I don’t know Gerbos. I trusted you! Goddammit! I don’t fucking know. 

Oh you’re an Arstotzkan. Hello. Oh, you’re the dude! Oh, crap. ‘No correla’- no, that. And all his stuff is proper as well, so I have to let him through. [Inhales through teeth] Oo, balls to the wa- is there nothing I can grab you on? Um, okay. Wait I- I- I- I can click on this, right? ‘No correlation.’ C’mon! This and you. D- but you’re the dude! Can I not do that? Can I not click on like individual stuff? Oh shit balls. Oh shit balls. Ah there we go, there we go! ‘You are Dari Ludum? Of course it says on’ the ‘passport.’ Detain! Yes! I helped out the ladies. Get outta my booth! I’m sure that you have all your documents in order, but I can’t let you through if you’re gonna hurt people.

‘What is the purpose of your trip?’ I plan to ‘work.’ Oh, that’s the wrong thing. You don’t- you don’t even have your thingy! Come on dude! You must have a fucking passport! ‘What is passport?’ Oh! ‘To be used for denials only. Entry Visa.’ [Laughs] Oh God, that feels bad. Denied, denied, denied. Get outta my country. I’m not letting in a lot of people though. I need to be letting in a lot of people, I need a lot of money.

‘Papers, please.’ Hello. I have too much shit on my desk. I need to move you over. Okay, you’re only in transit, so you don’t need a work visa. ‘I remain for just 2 days.’ That checks out. But does the rest? Hold on there ‘Rebeka S(h)mitz! Is everything good? A-Are you good? I think you might be. Okay, issuing city is ‘Vedor.’ But like, what do I put that against? Please somebody help me. Oh. That has ‘no correlation.’ M.O.A.? What? That’s a country place. I ne- I need- I need you to check out with that. There’s ‘no correlation’ with anything. Imma let you in, imma let you in, because wh- I don’t have much time. Did I do it wrong? Did I do it wrong? I did okay! Yes! Okay, good. 

All these documents, move over there. You’re not working right? Okay, you’re just ‘visiting.’ So you don’t need a permit. ‘I’ will ‘stay here 3 months.’ That matches, good. Good. What- what happened? Oh! Oh the person I let through is a suicide bomber! Ah!

Everyone’s hungry and we need medicine. I’m runnin out of money! Son of a bitch! ‘Grestin Checkpoint officer nabs mastermind. Human trafficking ring shut down.’ The dude I caught! ‘Another attack at Grestin Checkpoint.’ Ah, man, come on! Okay, well I’m gonna leave this episode here! Now you see what the game is about. That, you’re letting people in and out but the story starts to develop. So some people are in trouble, they’re running from certain people in the line. The guy gets through and then you detain him, and you help those people, even though all his documents were correct. So it’s like, do I- do I stop him and help the people, or do I let him through and get the money for my family? So I had enough money to cover my family for today, but if I didn’t let him or- if I didn’t let him through and I didn’t have enough money to cover my family my son might die. So there’s a lot of, like, questionable morals that go on, and you really have to get right down into it and wonder what you- what you have to do. It’s really like there’s no black and white to it and that’s what I really like. Cuz a lot of games are like, make the good choice or the bad choice, whereas this it’s- there’s kinda like a grey area. I really like that. 

But for now; thank you guys so much for watching this video! If you liked it, punch that like button in the face, like a boss! And, high fives all round. [Imitates high-five noises] But thank you guys and I’ll see all you dudes in the next video!

[Post-Outro Snippet]

It’s become a thing now that I don’t even think about my outro. A-As soon as I- I start saying: thank you guys so much for watching this video, like, my brain just takes over and does it naturally. And sometimes when I end up thinking about it too much, I- I en- I mess up the outro. Even though it’s not that- it’s- it’s not that hard to mess it up. I dunno. Bye!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

[ameliacole]

Inner Demons

You never truly know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. When they snap a rude remark it might just be because they found out their mom was going to die of cancer, or they just got fired from their job. Everyone and everything has a  backstory. The only backstory you can truly know all of is your own. And sometimes it’s hard to figure even that out. 

At the beginning of the year, a shocking and horrifying event occurred. My best friend’s mom went missing. While this is a traumatic event anywhere, it was especially distressing here in the little town I live in. As many people who live in small towns might understand, “bad things” don’t happen very often. Really, my small town is basically a safety bubble. It’s happy, everyone knows everyone and the crime rate is about zero percent. 

I was enjoying a hot bath the night before school began again when I heard the doorbell ring. A few minutes later, my dad came downstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. I asked who had come, and he replied that it was the police. They were looking for Mrs. Blair. 

My immediate thought was that Mrs. Blair had committed some crime-- I watch too much TV. But how could that be? Mrs. Blair has to have been one of the nicest people to have ever walked the Earth. There’s no way she did anything bad. 

When I asked why, my dad told me. Mrs. Blair was missing, and her car was found abandoned, at the end of my driveway. This, as you might imagine, sent my creative brain in all sorts of directions. Her daughter, my best friend, Selena, had been over at my house earlier that day, so I wondered if that had some sort of correlation. My mind went in all sorts of directions, why was Mrs. Blair missing? How could this happen? It felt surreal. Nothing like this ever happened, not around here. 

She must have been kidnapped, I decided, because there was no way that Mrs. Blair would willingly leave her family. Or maybe she went on a walk in the woods and got lost. I could picture her curled up, freezing to death in the frigid night. My heart sunk, and I immediately reached out to Selena, sending my love to her. 

These things don’t usually turn out well, I knew that, and I think most other people did as well. But all of us were beyond hopeful. Mrs. Blair would return, she had to. If she didn’t... Well, that just wouldn’t be right. 

Mrs. Blair’s brother was waiting in the car, hoping she’d come back. My dad went out to talk to him, and that’s how I found out some more information on the subject. She had called her brother, sounding frantic, and told him to meet her here. 

He hadn’t recognized the car, and by the time her brother actually did find the car, Mrs. Blair was long gone. 

This, of course, lead my mind to creating many other stories of what must’ve happened. Mrs. Blair found out some information that she wasn’t supposed to know or had somehow gotten tangled up with the wrong people and was meeting with her brother to seek help. Of course, this story had some holes in it. Why was she meeting him here, at the end of my driveway? Could my dad be somehow involved in this? (I knew of course, that couldn’t be.) Mrs. Blair had left the house without her ID and phone, which lead some to have a theory that she left on purpose, ran away or something. I didn’t believe that could be. Like I said before, Mrs. Blair would never do that. 

That night I was restless, barely getting any sleep. I just wanted to know what was going on, to hear the news that Mrs. Blair had been found and she was safe and okay. That news didn’t come. The fact that there were search parties scouring my yard and a helicopter flying above my house didn’t help, either. 

The next day, our principals announced that Mrs. Blair was missing. She was a gym teacher at our school, so most everyone knew her. Selena wasn’t in school, and all I wanted to do was walk over to her house and be there for her. 

Then the dreadful knows came in the middle of the day, just before lunch. We were all called down to the auditorium. We all knew it would be news about Mrs. Blair. I walked down with hope in my heart. That hope immediately drowned when I saw the long faces and the principals walking up on stage with tissues in their hands. 

My eyes began to fill with tears.

They announced that the remains of Mrs. Blair had been found. 

The tears spilled out. 

How could this be? My mind just couldn’t comprehend it. Mrs. Blair couldn’t be dead. She was so vibrant and full of life, I just couldn’t see how this was possible. 

We were released from school early, and as soon as I got home I went to my room, close the door and climbed under my covers. The tears slid down my face as I fell into the pillows. This wasn’t right. This had to be some sort of nightmare or cruel joke. 

The principals stated that Mrs. Blair’s remains had been found, this left us all wondering what exactly they meant by that. I interpreted it as she had been murdered. Remains sounds an awful lot like the body was in multiple pieces. 

My dad disagreed, he thought it sounded like suicide. Mrs. Blair had purposefully left the house without her phone or ID. 

But i just couldn’t comprehend that. Mrs. Blair wouldn’t commit suicide. 

Not Mrs. Blair, a motivational speaker and constant optimist. She was an inspiration to us all, so much more than our gym teacher. I think we all looked up to her when we needed guidance or advice. I can’t recall many times that I saw Mrs. Blair without a smile on her face. She always knew exactly what to say, which was one of the many reasons she was loved by all. 

I can’t put Mrs. Blair into words. Her personality was too big. Too powerful. Too wonderful. 

No, this woman would never commit suicide-- she was the one that people went to help for. The one who helped people believe that suicide was not the answer. 

As soon as I had heard the news, I sent Selena a text sending my love and condolences. I knew from personal experience that condolences don’t mean much, but I needed to say them. That’s the thing about condolences, they’re just as much for the person giving them, if not more. I wanted to go straight to Selena’s house, hug her and just be with her, but I knew that might not be what Selena wanted. She might want space, so I added in the text that I was there for her, whenever she needed it. 

She replied back saying she’d love to see me and was down the road at Camille’s house. 

I immediately made my way over there, unsure of how Selena would be. When my mom died, I still acted normal, but I knew that everyone reacts differently to grief. 

I didn’t find out what really happened to Mrs. Blair until later that afternoon, all of the people at Camille’s house were sitting back, watching Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban when I opened my phone, not for the first time, to check the news. Finally an article had appeared on Mrs. Blair. 

Selena was sitting right beside me while I read the page. Mrs. Blair had been found that morning by two walkers in the cemetery. It was still being investigated, but there was no foul play suspected. 

So that was it. The woman who no one ever thought would commit suicide had done it. 

Of course, my mind immediately jumped to theories as to what was happening. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but this had to be a conspiracy, how else could Mrs. Blair’s death be explained? She could’ve been murdered, and it set up to look like a suicide... Or it was a social experiment, to see what would happen. Mrs. Blair would pop up at any moment, looking as alive as ever. 

Later, I found out the reason. Mrs. Blair was bipolar. She had been very distressed about some things going on in the world, and not sleeping much. No one knew she was bipolar, so no one knew to read the signs. 

I can’t explain just how impossible the idea of Mrs. Blair committing suicide is. I can tell you all about how she was this inspiring, optimistic motivational speaker who kept others from killing themselves, but it can never truly to live up to all she was. There are no words. 

Sometimes, unexplainable things happen in life. Shocking events that you would never expect. None of us would’ve suspected Mrs. Blair as one with thoughts about killing herself. Not Mrs. Blair, anyone but her. This goes to show how little you really know about what goes on in other people’s minds. Sometimes, I guess, the happiest people-- or I should say the people who make others the happiest, are the saddest inside. Those who give others inspiration to live might be struggling to find enough will to keep themselves from suicide. 

We all have our own inner demons, some worse than others. The things we push down, and hope to never face. Even the best can succumb to the demons sometimes. I can’t tell you not to fall to the darkness’ persuasion, because that would be impossible. We all have our bad moments. 

Next time someone snaps at you, do your best not to snap back. It’s hard, I would know, but really, you don’t know what that person could be struggling with. You don't want to make an already horrible day even worse. If you think someone might be getting suicide GET HELP. And if you’re thinking about suicide, GET HELP. I cannot stress this point enough. Everyone says it, and there’s a reason why. No life is worth ending, you’re all worth something.