#so if freedom is her endgame as id like to think it is for the students

[kristybluebird]

Kozue accession as one of many surprises in an anarchic last year of operation at Ohtori.

In my freshman year of highschool there was a group of kids who spent 8th grade as the last class of students at a middle school that was to be decommissioned. The teachers were all either waiting to jump ship or retiring, a lot of work went undone, alot of student cruelty went unchecked. The upkeep was dismal, the roof leaked, light bulbs that extinguished themselves were not replaced, the students were only allowed in certain parts of the school. There seemed to be a liminality to the experience, spending most of your days within walls that would be torn down that very summer.

That's how I imagine Ohtori without Anthy and her power, a strange dwindling thing still shook by the conclusion of normality and humming with anticipation of the deathblow.

Anyway, Kozue Co-prez!

[bonefall]

I was never able to really get a feel for Leafpool's personality in the books, especially since she's always contrasted with Squirrelflight who has a pretty consistent personality (at least for Warriors standards). She's kind of like Hollyleaf where they change her personality depending on what they want to happen in the plot I think. How do you approach writing her? I'm really fond of your Spottedleaf, so I was wonder if Leafpool has any fun quirks like her.

[ID: Leafpool from Warrior Cats. She is chunky, has a mane, and green eyes. Her stripes are horizontal.]

I approach Leafpool as being VERY tired. Her life is characterized as never really being in control of her own fate, being punished for any simple pleasures she takes tenfold, so I write her as becoming very defeatist. Poor girl.

Because Leafpool is never in REAL control, somehow, it gives her this air that she's in total control. You can't scare her. StarClan can tell her that her kids are cursed, Hollyleaf can tell her to kill herself, Bramblestar can jump in front of her and snarl, she's never more than briefly phased. "Yeah sure this may as well happen."

In a way, she's almost the total opposite of Jayfeather, who never met a rule he wasn't willing to punch. It is interesting that each one of the Three has a unique relationship to the fate that chains up Leafpool.

Allows herself to love Mothpaw... war breaks out and Moth has to return to RiverClan.

Tries to warn Squilf about Brambleclaw in spite of StarClan wanting them to be together, first fight with her sister ever.

Runs off with Crowfeather, returns home to find out her mentor died before she could say goodbye.

Gives birth, allows Squilf to take them, eventually gets threatened by Hollyleaf.

(side note: i am considering leafpool's name being an honor title, with her old name being Leafstripe, and Squirrelpaw failing two assessments just like Nightheart)

But a big change in my rewrite is that the dramatic scenes that aren't consistent with that resigned sorrow go to Crowfeather. He's a complete and utter ham. Leafpool isn't out here trying to name Hollykit 'Crowkit' or confessing her unwavering love for him in front of his wife and child, THAT is Crowfeather making an ass of HIMSELF in front of that wife and child lmao.

Leaf's feelings are more complicated and repressed. Hard life.

On the bright side though, there ARE changes from canon so that the Clan has more nuanced feelings about her instead of her whole life being a nonstop beatdown.

Most of ThunderClan, which heavily leans Fire Alone, agrees that Leafpool did the right thing by giving her kits to Squilf to invoke the Queen's Rights. Sure she lapsed, but Fire Alone cats are softer on the Cleric's Vow in general.

Bramblestar demoting her in Cruel Season has a VERY mixed reception. It's Leafpool!! Leafpool Moonpool!!!

Her death many years later in the Sister Raid actually tanks Bramblestar's reputation. It was seen as cruel, pointless, and avoidable, and they lost a very popular and experienced Cleric.

(side note again: still considering how the 'unclear sign' plot beat is going to go in my rewrite, because i cannot imagine jayfeather not just lying about that. "yeah yeah yeah they said yes bramblestar, im supposed to heal this cat obviously. move.")

Misc Design Stuff:

She's got a mane that you can see on Dovewing too, since Dove is Leaf's grandchild now.

Like Sandstorm, uncle Longtail, and grandpaw Runningwind, Leafpool's stripes are horizontal.

I'm still doing research into what she has specifically, but Bonefall Leafpool is intersex. Those are stud jowls.

Considering the cat version of PCOS because it explains a lot; weight gain, a receding hairline that could be shared with Lionblaze, the jowls as a facial hair parallel, difficult pregnancy, etc.

Still doing my research though.

And lastly, Mothpool is endgame in this Rewrite. They can never be together officially, but it's about the yearning. It's about finding freedom with your escapist fantasy partner or being in shackles with your true love. She chose the CHAINS.

[cyphyree]

Now that you've finished utena and it's movies, what was your favorite part? Did you think the movie was a sequel? A retelling? Something else? Some scenes in utena are gonna stick w me till I'm in the dirt n id love to know if you had any like that :33

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Omgosh!!!! This series 😭😭😭💖 ok bear with me im gonna have a LOT to say affgugyyythh endgame spoilers for Revolutionary Girl Utena the show and movie below

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Fave parts of the show (in no particular order)

The third transformation scene when Anthy and Utena go to the arena together, badass, just one of the sequences ever

Utena's dorky lil stretches <3

The poisoned tea and biscuit scene

Badminton with Utena, Jury and Miki, along with Nanami ;_;

Miki's stopwatch. Still parsing out what it means but the animation and soundwork is so satisfying

The entire final act of the last episode wrecked me

Wakaba being there for Utena to help her snap out of her depression

Subsequent Utena vs Wakaba battle that breaks my heart into itty bitty pieces

The exploration of Utena's identity, and how she matured from "pretending to be a prince and the misconceptions of what that meant" to ultimately "being a prince"

Jury's backstory with Shiori and how it was visualized

Fave parts of the movie (in no particular order)

SHORT HAIR UTENA!! IN HER LIL BERET!!

The architecture of Ohtori is so cool

Love the opening sequence, especially when it pans up abruptly to the scene with Utena and her prince in silhouette

THEY KISS.

The partner drawing session

The dance <3

Chasing Anthy through the weird corridors of Ohtori after Jury's Duel

The farewell between Utena and Touga (how did they make me like Touga and Utena's relationship)

When they escape together from the maw of the castle in an explosion of roses, and the Shadow Girls guiding them and cheering them on turned out to be Utena and Anthy themselves!

THEY KISS!! AGAIN!!!!!

I actually love how obtuse and playful and surreal the series is, but in a way that's very intentional and gives you all the puzzle pieces to put together what's happening. After finishing the show I felt like I knew what it was about because the themes were so well visualized…… and then I watched one (1) youtube analysis video that made me realize that my understanding has barely scratched the surface of ANything lol. I was kinda embarrassed about it ngl, but I guess RGU is just one of those shows that do require multiple watches. I really, really do love how it's got multiple layers. I'd be happy if I could create a story that's half as clever and nuanced.

The movie was such an unexpected banger. I was told by a friend beforehand that the movie was a retelling+sequel hybrid. After watching it, to me it feels like an alternate version of the story that runs parallel to the one in the anime. Like…… a metaphor for the intention of the show, does that even make sense? I don't think the events or characters themselves are necessarily "canon" in a literal sense, but the philosophies and underlying character motivations are. I definitely see why everyone's like "oh the movie will clear up the themes of the show!! It's great!!" and I love how it clarifies the show by being 250% weirder LMFAO.

I also thought that the absurdity of "your girlfriend turns into a freakin car you drive towards freedom" was going to take me out of it, and it did at first. I was mostly scared for Utena because um that was a scary process, but tbh for the entire ending I had this huge smile on my face. And it was emotional for me even though it's ridiculous!! And that's because it's emotionally resonant!! And it metaphorically confirms for me that, even though Utena was in despair in the last moments we see her in the show, the endings of both the show and movie are ultimately fulfilling and---dare I say?---happy! Because both of them were wrung through the crucible that tore apart their identities, and they ultimately learned and grew, despite how hard and painful it was!

I'm also just so, so, so glad how lgbtq+ the characters and narrative are, and how neither show nor movie shied away from it (I was nervous that the movie was going to retroactively step back, but no, they made it GAYER). And plus how.... tactful and considerate they were when dealing with and visualizing heavier themes. Even the movie was very frank and intentional when portraying nudity. I appreciate that a lot.

What a masterful show. It's going to haunt me forever probably :)

[alleyskywalker]

Theyne vs Tristheon vs Tristheyne?

Ahhh anon I’m so sorry it took me forever  to answer this! I wasn’t really sure what you had wanted to know/wanted me to talk about but I wanted to give a satisfying response and of course just…ended up spinning my wheels for a bit agh.

My OTPs! My endgame OTPs! At least two of them and then the third that’s polycule that smooshes them together, and I have to admit that while I’m pretty picky about poly stuff, it can be a very satisfying way to solve ship conflicts if you think the three characters would work all three together.

Both Theyne and Tistheon absolutely come with hitting certain id things for me which are specifically: 1) wanting Theon to get a soft and happy endgame, 2) wanting Theon to finally be in a relationship (not necessarily a romantic one generally, but for the purposes of shipping yes) where he is valued and prioritized and loved, and 3) a special bonus if the relationship is with a character who is also ironborn or is not so attached elsewhere that they can’t join Theon in an endgame on the Iron Islands where the move wouldn’t feel too unfair to them. It’s not that I require all my ships to be Soft or healthy or Endgame Material, even with Theon, but I think with him especially this is a desire that I do like to have fulfilled.

Theyne is obviously the ship with the most canon support and is a ship that’s kind of int hat borderline area of…I don’t really think George would let me have this, like I don’t really see him going this way. Like him just letting Theon be alive and at peace and hopefully in nice/comfortable circumstances at the end would already be a fucking victory. I don’t think we’re getting a romance, especially this one, and eh. Overall from a canon perspective that might be better. Also, it would…difficult to do a Theyne romance within the scope of the books due to the age gap. I’m really not very precious about ages and age gaps in fiction, especially historical/fantasy fiction like this where the most of the kids and teenagers all act like 3-4 years older than they apparently are supposed to be, and still I usually never have anything overly romantic happen with Theyne until several years post-Dance.

So yea I don’t see this having a chance at being canon or anything but like…it could be. Like very seriously, if GRRM was a different writer, if this was a slightly different type of series…it’s written very romantically. Not in the sense that the characters have romantic feelings for each other but in that the themes and tropes and imagery around this relationship feel very High Romance to me. (While also being just subverted enough, just gritty and complicated and non-played-straight enough to make this ship actually interesting and soul-destroying to me jfglsdf. Have I mentioned recently I’m a hard sell on het?)  I wrote a bit about what I love about Theyne here, but the summary version is that it’s very much about significant common experiences, the past coming around full circle with the present, the seeing the truth of/about each other when others don’t, the mutual dependency and being able to offer each other the love and future and understanding that they both need. (And a freedom from the Starks…that too, though that’s something Theon needs a lot more than Jeyne.)

Not that…this relationship would necessarily be free of angst or any conflict. They’ve both suffered a lot of trauma and would have individual needs that could be difficult to handle for a partner at times. It’s unclear if Jeyne is aware that Theon took Winterfell (her home, after all) in a conquest for a “foreign” power – which, regardless of anything else, naturally brought violence into the life of its people – or that he killed two kids, whether Bran and Rickon or not. Depending on whether she already knows this information or not, it might be a starting discovery that she may not take well. Theon was also forced to perform a non-consensual sex act on her. He had no real will in the situation, granted, but he was still the tangible tool of her abuse, which she doesn’t seem to blame him for but, again, if one wished to fill this ship with angst and possible dysfunction, the groundwork is there. And like…would they have things in common? Like normal, everyday, happy things?

But like, overall, when I’m shipping this and daydreaming about it, I’m very much seeing it as a Soft endgame ship with cliché marriage and all that, with lots of tenderness and love for Theon (for both of them) ❤

In comparison, Tristheon is of course very reliant on headcanons. These characters haven’t really interacted and to the extent they have, it’s mostly Theon having a couple of snarky, not very nice thoughts about Tris being Asha’s pet. It’s unclear how well and from when/where they know each other. Tris is also a minor character and I certainly live in fear that GRRM could go in some unpleasant direction with him. But on the other hand, what we can extrapolate of his personality is promising: Tris truly seems like an idealistic and romantic person – a little too much so for the Islands, if Asha’s assessment is to be trusted – who’s practically made of loyalty and devotion, someone who’s capable of faithfulness, steadfastness and commitment. His naivete regarding his relationship with Asha is sad, but it’s not meanspirited (and people’s contempt on this account is moronic and heartless, imo) – he hasn’t seen her for years, since he was forbidden from seeing her but her father while they were in the middle of an affair. She doesn’t actually personally reject him until their first scene. The fact that he’s unable to switch off his feelings for her immediately as though it’s a fucking light switch is actually to his credit.

Anyway, what this has to do with Tristheon is that…this is the kind of soft engame boyfriend I want for Theon. The kind of person who, if he does develop genuine feelings, would be a devoted and loving partner, the sort who could be selfless and understanding with all the difficulties that Theon will likely have in re-adjusting to life and re-learning/practicing certain things, the limitations he might have. (How miserable is a world without modern medicine…) This is also someone who might have common childhood memories with Theon, a common cultural background and understanding. Someone who might just have similar hobbies with him lol. But they might also be able to connect on a level of mutual understanding when it comes to not completely fitting in with their culture, what with Tris being better adjusted and yet still “too sweet” for the islands to an extent. They would also be very able to give each other exactly what the other would want to receive and vice versa, i.e. Tris, I think, really wants to be needed while Theon maybe thinks he wants to be needed but really what he wants/needs is to be accepted and unconditionally loved.

I think I do also enjoy/allow Tristheon to skew a little angstier than Theyne – in part because that’s always kind of how I am with slash, I guess, but also because Jeyne is also a character I guess I want to protect, whereas Tris someone who can take on a bit more angst xD Tristheon allows, for me, more explorations in themes of Theon’s fitting in with the ironborn, dealing with his past failures (intentional or not, understandable/justifiable or not) in leading them/being their prince, the somewhat more grittier and hurt/comfort inclined side of his post-trauma issues, and putting to rest the ghost of Robb Stark, who’s relationship to/with Theon I see as in many ways a contrast to how I imagine Tristheon as a ship.  (I talked some before about the Tristheon vs. Throbb contrasts here, although in the context of a specific fic, but it applies generally.)

There are also some possibilities to explore a bit of role-reversal in the Supportive Boyfriend Realm, in that Tris would possibly have a certain amount of trauma potentially remaining after such a blunt crash of all his hopes and dreams re: Asha, that were clearly based on a romantic worldview that, well, is naïve in a some similar ways Sansa’s pre-ACOK worldview is naïve, and yet he’s managed to carry this idealism into adulthood. And this disillusionment then comes at a really shit time too, what with the war, his elder brother dying, his father’s murder….

Tristheyne – ahhh I’m excited that you came up with a shipname for it ❤ This is like…what if I don’t have to choose between the two OTPs? :D I haven’t actually thought about this layout too much; I think I might have requested it once for an exchange? But it’s a very soft concept to me? I think Tris/Jeyne would be a very cute and soft ship – Tris is just great boyfriend material, you can fight me. Yea, yea, he needs to get over his teenage first love and realize his romanticism is very overwrought but…otherwise, again, like Theon, Jeyne could use the faithfulness, kindness and affection. I do worry that with all three of them having various levels of significant trauma and issues, including on the romantic/relationship front, jealousy born of insecurity could infect a poly arrangement... But it’s fanfic! We don’t have to let it!

Anyway, anon, I don’t know what you actually wanted me to talk about. This all came out very rambley, I fear, but thank you! I love my children 🤍💙💛🖤💚🤍

[loveofafangirl]

The Heart of a Hero

[Steve Rogers Masterlist]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (teacher) Setting: Post EndGame, Present Day-- Upstate New York Word Count: ~ 1,550

Synopsis: Steve finds himself inexplicably drawn to the small town he stumbled upon a week earlier. His visit leaves him wondering who he is without the shield. This is a sequel to A Chance Encounter.

The sea of trees broke into a blanket of green and brown speckled grass. His pace slowed as he spun in place, letting the memories fade back, and the small town came into view. He jogged lightly; something about the place seemed familiar. As he reached the town center, he realized why. He had come out in a different area but, it was still the same town he had happened upon last week.

He slowed to a walk, studying the people and buildings. It was just like the last time, calm and quaint. People walked and chatted rather than buzz about busily. Before he realized it, he was in view of the same bench.  

A lilting laugh across the street pulled his attention. Something inside of him warmed at the sound; a whispered fluttering threatened to calm the storm raging inside of him. However, the feeling flickered out quickly as his gaze settled upon a woman he had never seen before. 

He shook his head, trying to reconcile that feeling. Walking away and heading back in the direction he had come from, he took one final look back to the bench. He couldn’t help but wonder how in all of the miles and miles of wilderness and small towns, he had happened upon the same one twice. 

“Thank you, Marco.” She proceeded out the door, turning back to pay the elderly shop owner one last goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled, taking a sip of her iced pumpkin latte and not looking ahead. “Oof—”

His strong arms steadied her this time, skillfully supporting her drink so that nothing spilled. 

Her gaze settled on his torso, recognizing it as the same as before. (Not many men in her town had abs that even through a shirt, appeared to be cut from the smoothest marble.) Her face couldn’t have warmed more even under the worst sunburn. 

“We have got to stop meeting like this.” 

She expected his tone to be harsh, but it was gentle and even more, had an air of amusement. 

Realizing his arms still held her, he took a step back. The vibrant blue of her dress began to trigger memories as it pulled him back to the shield and that fateful day. It had fractured effortlessly, in a way he hadn’t known possible. 

“I’m so sorry. I swear I’m not usually this clumsy.” 

Her words drew him back. “I was looking for—I was just distracted. It was my fault.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, stealing enough confidence to finally look at the man with whom she had not once, but twice, collided. Confusion swept across her face as she processed what she saw. “Oh my gosh! You’re… You’re, well, you!”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish grin on his face. Words failed as he attempted to explain. He wasn’t that person, not who she thought he was. Not anymore.

She tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. Her thoughts bounced curiously as to how this was possible. How was he here? And if he was here, were they in danger? 

The awkward silence that fell between them broke as the voices of a small group gathered nearby. Their murmurs grew as their phones flashed, taking photo after photo of the celebrity gracing their streets. 

His previously relaxed gaze darted around him; people drew nearer, begging for his attention. Since bringing back the Infinity Stones and deciding to return to the future, Steve had kept a low profile, rarely going out in public or seeing anyone, choosing instead to occupy his time with building his woodland escape.

She reached out, grazing his arm lightly before recoiling back. “Sorry!” Her face reddened again. “I thought I might have bumped my head, and this was all a dream. My students will never believe I met you.”

“This is real.” His expression was more somber than she anticipated. His focus split between the woman in front of him and the crowd closing in.

“The kids would just—no, sorry! I can’t ask that,” she rambled, covering her face with her hand. She started to turn before deciding to continue. “If you ever want to stop by. I mean—” her fingers fiddled with her ID badge around her neck. “—you don’t have to, I’m sure you’re really busy… it's just, the kids would love to meet you. It would mean a lot to them.”

His brow furrowed as he considered her words. 

“Can I take a picture with you?” 

“Cap, look this way.”

“Quick, take the picture!”

The crowd wedged in, split them apart as Steve reluctantly obliged the townspeople. 

“I’m not who you think I am.” His attention shifted back to her. “I’m not him anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” she said nervously, noting the uncertainty and discomfort on his face, assuming she was the cause. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Her head hung a little lower as she turned away.

“Wait!” 

She hastened her step, attempting to make a discrete retreat while the crowd demanded his attention. She hadn’t meant to make him feel uncomfortable or presume to think he did not have more important things to do, but why was he there? And twice in such a short period of time. Her stomach turned remembering, that both times she had embarrassed herself. How did she ever let herself imagine she could live in a city and have adventures of her own one day. She could barely handle a conversation on the street.

“I’m sorry. Okay, just one more. Quickly..” Steve attempted to dismiss the crowd. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.” The disappointed group attempted to follow him. “I’m sorry,” he offered once more before skillfully maneuvering through the masses. With a few long steps, he had caught up to her. “Can we talk?”

“It’s okay. I overstepped.” She continued hurriedly along.

“It’s not that. It’s just—I’m trying to leave that life behind. I’m not him anymore.”

“I wasn’t asked for Captain America.” She stopped, gazing gently at him and carefully considering her next words. “I asked for Steve Rogers. The man behind the shield and the uniform is more of a hero than the one with it. I’ve attempted to instill in my students that being a hero is more than money, technology, weapons, or even super-soldier abilities. It begins in the heart. The heart of a hero is something that is nurtured, and once established, no one can take it from them. I believe Steve Rogers has a heart such as this. A heart that goes beyond the mask or the shield and beyond the team that stood behind him. A heart that at its core is good, right, courageous, and just. That makes a hero. Choosing kindness, finding ways to help, and noticing the good in others even when it's hard to see. If that doesn’t describe you, then you're not the man I thought you were. But if it does, maybe you need to remember who you were before all of this.” She gestured to the lingering crowd just out of earshot. “I want the man who threw himself on the grenade to protect people that saw him as nothing. That heart. That man. He was always more than enough.”

His countenance softened as he listened to her words. They were so different from the rhetoric he was used to hearing. He knew he wasn’t the symbol people wanted him to be anymore, but he didn’t know if he was still that man anymore either. He had seen more than he ever believed could come to pass, suffered more, lost more. The world wasn’t that simple anymore. There were a lot of shades of grey now. She made being a hero sound like a modern fairytale, where good always won, but the truth was, the world was so much darker than that. A heavy expression grew on his face as the curious crowd moved in once more. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

Without another word, he rushed past her, determined to put distance between him and the town, the crowd, and her. He picked up speed, sprinting out of the town and away from all it made him feel. He needed the freedom of the forest and its quietness to quell his thoughts. The memories flooded back, threatening to drown him, so he pushed harder and faster. This had been his only escape. His brow grew moist with the lightest mist of sweat as his body battled the reminders of the past that haunted him and the adrenaline coursing through him, but more so, the anger he had been secretly harboring for all the death and destruction he had helped cause.

Whispers of why the super-soldier had come circulated through the town over the next few days. It was, after all, the most exciting thing that had happened there in a long time. They didn’t get celebrities. They didn’t even get everyday visitors, just the occasional lost traveler. She went about her days, wondering if any of it had happened. It seemed like a dream. Had she really given Steve Rogers a speech on being a hero? She was mortified at the thought. No wonder he had run off. Her cheerful heart sunk a little after that day. What did she know about being a hero? Nothing. That’s what. Perhaps, she was the fraud all along. 

Perma(til the end of the line): @the-soot-sprite​

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future Steve stories. 💖

[charcubed]

i was wondering if you could share some of your favourite wlw/sapphic ships? i really enjoy your queer content in general and so id love to hear some of your takes on sapphic subtext etc :)) hope you’re doing well!

Hello anon! It’s 2AM and I should be asleep but instead I’m going to answer this ask. Partially because I tend to be perpetually behind on messages / asks (shout out to everyone I have yet to answer, I am so sorry), both because I’m often busy and incapable of brevity. I do not want that to happen to you, so here I go!

Thank you for the kind words 🥺 I appreciate you wanting to know my thoughts and enjoying my content!

Here are some wlw/sapphic ships I love!!

• Carol/Maria from Captain Marvel. As far as I am concerned, they are canonically wives. It’s not subtle! I wrote a meta thread about how the themes of the movie are enhanced if you read it as a story about Carol as a gay woman. Also, every time I remember that “Kiss Me Deadly” is the song they sing together in karaoke, I freak the fuck out. I firmly feel like Stevebucky and Carolmaria are the 2 greatest love stories of the MCU movies and it’s astonishing how similar they are, too. I’ll never forgive the Marvel fandom for sidelining Maria in favorite of shipping Carol/Valkyrie because of insidious colorism. I wrote a mini fic about Maria feeling insecure when Carol meets Valkyrie to work out my frustrations about that too!

• Nomi / Amanita from Sense8. (In all ways but physical, Amanita is MY wife, actually.) I feel like they’re one of the coolest, healthiest, and most badass relationships on screen :’) They make me so fucking happy and I will never get over how ride or die they are for each other.

• Andy / Quynh from The Old Guard. I am crossing ALL of my fingers that they expand on them in the sequel, because I felt there was very strong subtext (that was barely subtext) there, and as far as I know they were together in the comics. Big shout out to Andy wearing Quynh’s necklace, for example. (I’d need to rewatch the movie to get lost back in the sauce and discuss them more because it’s been awhile)

• I have ships from Black Sails that I enjoy discussing in depth, but those are spoilers! (I tend to only talk Black Sails spoilers on @freedom-in-the-dark or my side twitter gaypiracy)

• This is fairly new, but I am eyeballing Katy / Xialing from Shang-Chi. There was subtext there too, I feel. Katy definitely seemed to have a crush on Xialing, and there was tension in the moment when Xialing saved her. I’m hoping they expand on that dynamic in future movies!

• I never finished this show (even though I meant to), but Cosima / Delphine in Orphan Black were near and dear to my heart a long time ago, so I can’t not mention them. It’s been a very long time since I’ve thought about them but they were a big deal.

• In the “fuck the CW” category: YEARS ago, back when I watched Arrow, Nyssa/Sara was extremely important to me. I adored them, and then of course they killed Sara (and later forced Nyssa to fake marry Oliver). I was also into Lexa/Clarke from The 100 during that era—because who wasn’t, though I didn’t love them as a ship as strongly as many people did—and we all know where that went.

That’s it for main ones, I think. Sorry if that disappoints! I’m especially sorry that I don’t have much meta to offer, unfortunately, simply because most of what I’m mentioning is either explicit canon so it didn’t involve subtext hunting or I watched it before I got super involved in media analysis. I’m planning on watching Killing Eve when it’s complete as long as it sticks the landing, and I know that show is going to eat my brain hahaha. Some of my friends are super into it and have sent me a couple clips here and there and I’ve unintentionally written meta off the cuff and they lose their shit. I’m looking forward to devouring it eventually.

As for ones I’m just sort of casually into... I never finished Legend of Korra (not yet anyway), but I loved and appreciated Korrasami because again, who doesn’t. Similarly, I could get behind Kate Bishop / America Chavez in my Young Avengers days, and Peggy / Angie from Agent Carter. From very far away, I salute the Supergirl fandom, because I know Kara/Lena would make me foam at the mouth if I was at all into watching it and I’m rooting for those crazy kids.

My last humble offerings...

Movie recs:

Portrait of a Lady On Fire (which I know most people have seen by now), though warning that it’s very bittersweet or sad. Please, PLEASE watch Colette if you have not; that movie is very important to me, and it is both sapphic and gender. Likewise, please watch Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, which is based on a true story and involves an m/f/f polyamorous relationship.

Niche fic recs because people deserve to read these:

Sharon/Natasha fic that is vastly underrated and I love it, and Eleven/Max fic from Stranger Things that lives rent free in my brain. (I think Will/Mike is endgame in that show and the parallels between Will and Eleven do make me wonder if they’ll make her gay too.) These are literally the only fics for either of these ships I have ever read. And of course, this genderbent f/f 1950s Johnlock case fic which will kick your ass. You’re welcome in advance.

Thank you again for asking! 💜

[holdin-out-for-a-hero]

Creep- FFVII Biggs X Reader Chapter 5/?

Summary: you get on the bad side of a one of Corneo’s men and now have a target on your back

Warnings: sexual harassment, death mentions

A/N: More romantic stuff coming in the next chapter! It’s already halfway written.

Afternoon drinking was not something you were really known for, but after all that had happened in the last 24 hours, you let yourself indulge. No, it wasn't a good coping mechanism, but you needed a little relief from the constant and paralyzing fear of someone hunting you down. It helped a bit with the guilt, too. There were a lot of things you felt guilty about...

These were supposed to be celebration drinks, you remembered. Because every time a mission was approved, you and your teammates would guzzle down beers in excitement. But that was not the same energy the bar held today. Everyone was drinking, but no one was happy.

Jessie tried to lighten the mood, tried to bring energy to the group, but aside from her bubbly disposition, her eyes told another story. She was worried, just like everyone else, for the same reasons as everyone else. She was worried for you, for Barrett, and for the mission tomorrow.

Even Wedge was silent. You hurt his feelings by not telling him about what happened. And no matter how many times you tried to explain to him that it wasn't personal, you didn't want to tell anyone about it, he still knew what that meant deep down. You didn't trust him. Or anybody on the team, really. He hoped that through kindness he would've gained your trust, but he was wrong. You couldn't look him in the eyes anymore, because every time you would, he'd give you the same hurt look...

You had screwed up. Not just in the sense that you instigated the man on the train (though he completely deserved the fist in the face, that much you were sure of), but that you didn't tell anyone on the team. And why? Because you were embarrassed? These were the people you were supposed to trust. You trusted them with your life during missions, so why didn't you trust them with your thoughts, feelings, and experiences?

Biggs was there when it happened, so you couldn't hide it from him if you tried, and you only told Tifa after she saw through your bs excuse. But Jessie, Barrett, and Wedge didn't get to know until they had to. Jessie had cooled down from her outburst earlier and was treating you as if nothing had happened, but deep down you knew she was still a little pissed. Barrett, on the other hand, was real pissed at you for keeping it to yourself, but he still held his tongue and you didn't know why...

Jessie took another sip of her drink, looking up at the clock on the wall. In just a few hours, she and the merc were going to hit up the Shinra warehouse. She remembered inviting you and Biggs, hoping that if she kept you near, she could somehow keep you safe. The business quarters were probably much safer than the slums, because whoever those guys were, it didn't look like the spent much time above the plate. If they did, they'd have Shinra troops called on them immediately.

She never told you what the mission was about, though; she hoped to keep a few secrets in tact tonight. Like stealing from her own, comatose father, that was something she wasn't proud to do.

So you, Biggs, and Cloud would be joining her. She looked over at Wedge though, he was definitely hurt that you hadn't told him. He'd probably be just as hurt if Jessie didn't invite him on this mission, too. So she decided she would let him in on it. So much for a nice, romantic evening with the local Merc...

——————

Jessie filled you, Biggs, and Wedge in on her secret mission to break into a Shinra warehouse and surprise trip to her parent's place. But something was missing from her story; you knew she was keeping something from you and the others. And just hours ago she was yelling at you for doing the same... whatever. You knew not to push it.

She told you to meet up at the train station, something you dreaded. Not only because it was where you met the creep, but also because it would be defying Barrett's orders, and you didn't think he would hold anything back if you screwed up this time. 

The three of you arrived at the station, but weren't met with the usual chatter and smiling faces. In fact, there was no one there at all. The entire station was empty, and so, so quiet; you had never seen it like this in your life. It looked wrong. A sign plastered on the bulletin board explained that the trains were on an adjusted schedule due to threats from the "eco-terrorist group" Avalanche. You couldn't help but find it ironic.

So the three of you had to improvise. Biggs knew a guy who rented motorbikes, and was willing to lend a few of his own for free.

The sun was setting now, and you walked your bike back to the train station.  Biggs and Wedge were on either side of you walking with their own bikes, they insisted it be that way so no creep would spot you. How lucky you were to have them, to have a team that cared about you so much they'd risk their own safety for your sake.

Wedge had forgiven you to some extent. He was now talking to you more freely, and you were so relieved. He was such a sweet guy, it hurt to have him upset at you.

Jessie and the Merc were already at the platform waiting. She had her signature smile plastered on her face, but he looked... uncomfortable? She slung her arm around the man's neck and he flinched under her touch. Then you realized why he was so uncomfortable.

"Hey guys!" She greeted with a wave.

"Tough break. They changed the times. Last train's already left," Biggs said, "Which is why we borrowed these bikes."

"Only 3? Looks like we're gonna have to share." Jessie glanced at cloud, who looked away from her and crossed his arms.

"So, who's riding with who?" Biggs asked.

"Me and SOLDIER-boy can share one," Jessie said with a smirk, cloud just sighed.

"So there's two bikes left and three of us," you added.

"Rock paper scissors?" Wedge suggested. You laughed and Biggs shook his head at the guy, but the both of you agreed. So the three of you got ready: hands in position.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!"

A grin formed on you lips when you won; you would get a bike all to yourself.

"C'mon, two out of three!" Biggs asked, a hopeful look in his eye. Did he really want to ride alone that badly? Unless he wanted to ride with you... No, that couldn't be it.

"No. I won fair and square."

Biggs' eyes lingered on yours a second longer, before he smiled and put a hand on Wedge's shoulder, "Guess I'm stuck with this guy."

"Hey! Don't say it like it's a bad thing!" Wedge said. Everybody laughed. Well, except Cloud.

——————

Your heart began to race as your bike picked up speed, and you couldn't help but smile. The rush, the wind through you hair, the freedom: it was intoxicating. You pushed the throttle harder, speeding up and and bumping over the train tracks. This was what it felt like to be truly liberated. In this moment, the creep and his goons couldn't get to you. They couldn't even try. You were going too fast, leaving your fear and guilt in the dust. You felt alive.

Something in you wanted to go faster, farther, but you couldn't just ditch your team. That wasn't how teams worked. So you reluctantly stayed in between both Wedge and Biggs and Jessie and Cloud as the five of you came to your first ID scan. Thanks to Jessie, your new ID's were impeccable. There was nothing to worry about.

The first ID scan was a success, just as all of you expected. The second and third scans yielded similar results. Then came the fourth ID scan. It was very uncommon to have a fourth scan, but they must have implemented it because of the bombing. This one wasn't so successful. And as soon as you had passed the threshold, security had sent in people after you.

"We've got company!" Jessie said, and just like that another bike flew past your own. A Shinra troop manned the vehicle, blaster in hand.

The mercenary made quick work of the troop, but security wouldn't let up that easily. More bikes joined you on the tracks, aiming to kill.

Cloud was somehow fighting multiple troops at a time. But there was one more behind you, speeding up so he could take you out. Pulling out your gun, you aimed at the troop's tire and pulled the trigger.

You were always a good shot, but not now, not when you needed it the most. Instead of piercing the tire and ejecting the man from his vehicle, you missed. It must have been the driving, you thought.

Your eyes widened; he was lining up his shot now. On pure instinct, you ducked your head and swerved. Another gunshot rang out, but it never whistled past your head. In fact, it wasn't in your direction at all.

You turned around, watching the man's slumped body and fallen bike become smaller in the growing distance. Just behind you and to the  right was Wedge and Biggs. Wedge couldn't have done it, his hands were steady against the handles. But Biggs still had his pistol in his hand. Your eyes met his.

"Thanks," you shouted to him. He just nodded back at you. And though you just narrowly escaped death, your mind was on the man who saved you instead. You could always count on him to have your back. That stupid little crush wanted to make its comeback, but you pushed those thoughts away. Now was not the time. In fact, there would never be a right time. Not when you were risking your life everyday.

Working with avalanche, you had quite a few near-death experiences. They happened often enough that it didn't really affect you anymore. It was just a hazard of the job, something that you had to accept in order to do the work you were passionate about. But if you were so used to defying death, then why were the creep and his men so scary?

You came upon the realization that death might be the endgame, but what that man wanted to do to you was much worse than death. You had prepared for death, but you never prepared for that. And you only prepared to die on certain terms: if it was necessary for the survival of another team member or the mission itself, not because of some stupid thing you did on a train.

You shook those thoughts away, too, instead,  focusing on the moment. The wind in your hair, the freedom of the tracks, and... more troops? What else did you expect?

Cloud worked to get rid of those men. And you, determined to help, quickly got the hang of shooting while on a moving vehicle. One by one, the troops fell from their bikes. Surely this would be on the news tomorrow morning: Gunfight on the tracks. Or if you weren't so lucky, the headline might read: Shinra takes down eco-terrorists on the tracks.

From behind, reinforcements were moving in on you. Based on the red of their helmets, they were not basic troops. Security was sending in bigger dogs now...

"A-Team's here," Cloud shouted.

"We're not screwed, are we?" Wedge asked. Cloud didn't answer him, instead focusing on knocking the troops off of their bikes. And as soon as they were down, two new troops replaced them.

This new pair's strategy was to surround and attack. They went to both sides of Cloud and Jessie, believing it put them at an advantage.

But cloud, being a former soldier, wouldn't be bested that easily. He held his sword out directly in front of him, confusing both troops, before spinning the bike and knocking them both out in one fluid motion.

For a little while the ride was free of unwanted guests, but only a little while. These next guests didn't come on wheels, instead the flew past your heads and all around your vehicles.

"Drones!" Jessie yelled.

These were harder to shoot, you realized, since they were so much smaller and quicker than troops on bikes. But cloud was taking care of most of them. Thank God he was here.

And then there were drones and troops. Both enemies were aiming to kill, and you didn't know which ones were of bigger concern. Biggs and Cloud seemed to be taking care of the drones, so you turned around and shot out some more tires. This got rid of a few of them. But then the rest just... stopped? They had skidded to a halt behind you, retreating back to wherever they came from.

Turning around, you helped cloud and Biggs take down the rest of the drones. Looking around one last time, there was nothing trailing you. Something about that didn't seem right. Shinra never played like that.

The true night sky was coming into view, something you never saw very often. Finally, you made it topside. You looked up at the sparkling stars above, their light swirling through the night and blending into different shades of blue with the night sky. And for a moment, you forgot about it all. Avalanche, mako, the reactors, the creep; they were all just distant memories. Right now you were safe.

Too bad that peace didn't last...

[wolfenm-marveling]

There are three big reasons I have not and don’t want to see Endgame ....

For one, I wrote a lengthy article about that will run in June at Sequential Tart (I'll update this post with the link when it goes live *EDIT* Here it is: The Subject of Character Death, Revisited - http://www.sequentialtart.com/article.php?id=3362 ). The other two, I'll talk about here; they involve Steve and Bucky.

I know what you’re thinking: Wolfie, how can you form an opinion on a movie you haven't seen? Well, I do have mental health issues (undiagnosed and untreated because I have no insurance or job, yay), so when the film was released in China, I found someone to spoil me so that I might make an informed decision as to whether or not I could *handle* seeing it, given some worries I had (and especially since 3 hours without a bathroom break was not going to work for me or my companion). I determined from that convo that it would be a Very Bad Idea for me to see the film.

Even seeing the constant posts about it  -- especially ones that called it a  “beautiful” or “perfect” end, etc. -- was triggering anxiety and mental anguish / circular thoughts (admittedly in part because there were similarly “bad” things happening in other fandoms of mine -- it was too much at once). And I'm STILL having massive issues with circular thoughts about it.

This essay isn't meant to tell anyone they’re wrong about how they perceive / feel about the film, BUT, while I know I shouldn't care what other people think, the sitch still makes me feel how I feel: frankly, a bit disturbed that people are loving things that are making me so awful. I feel like I've stepped into some sort of Bizarro world -- like I'm somehow in the wrong universe. It’s very distressing. (I mean ... they call it mental *illness* for as reason, right?)

In this franchise where I once found such great joy, I now find little more than anguish. It’s actually been making me physically ill to see the posts -- or to look on my massive Marvel collection; I've had to box much of it away for now. Hopefully some day I can enjoy it again. (I can't exactly stop using my $60 Captain America backpack I begged for, for my birthday, though. :/)

I find that when my thoughts get like this (like I'm on a runaway train that keeps revisiting the same stations), the only thing that helps even a little is to sort out my thoughts on the page -- even if I’ve done it before, as I have with this in the comments section of friends posts. (You may have seen other people express similar thoughts, too.)  And really, I don't want to rain on my friend’s parades, so I figure I’ll post it in my own space, and then if people ask me my thoughts, I can just point them here. And hopefully this post will help others who are similarly struggling (I know there are at least a few).

As for the old chestnut “It’s just a story/ a fictional character”, well, for one thing, let me repeat: mentally ill here. If I could control how I feel, I wouldn’t BE mentally ill. But also, I'm a writer who feels writing is a sacred calling, so when I feel a story is badly told, I tend to take it personally. Yes, I know my opinion is not the be-all, end all -- if you think it’s a good story, yay for you. Me, I feel betrayed by this story in a way I have rarely felt before (the other biggest instance having happened the week before the film's release, so double-whammy, yay).

Warning: if you read any further, I assume you either saw Endgame or don’t care about Spoilers.

(*edited to add* If you need some solace too, check out @antiendgame to find other people who are upset.)

The first upsetting points for me were the Noble Deaths (and, in Loki’s case, lack of resurrection) -- I hate that trope with the fire of a thousand suns. But that’s what I wrote the article on (including how 2012 Loki’s escape doesn't make me feel any better), so no more on that here.

Now, let me preface the rest of this by saying no, I wasn’t expecting a romantic presentation of Stucky. And as hard as I ship them fanon-wise, I don’t actually hate Steggy -- I adore Peggy in her own right (and like the idea of them  being a threesome with Bucky).

What I DO hate is that Steve abandoned Bucky for her.

Aside from Steve’s moral compass, Bucky was the impetus behind pretty much *everything* Steve did in his trilogy. He found the missing soldiers because Bucky was amongst them. Bucky’s death broke him -- and finding him again in Winter Soldier seemed to give Steve, who was clearly depressed, new life. Despite Sam insisting Bucky was Gone, Steve wouldn't kill Bucky to save the world. And in Civil War, Steve fought other dear friends, and was willing to throw away his own freedom, to protect his best friend. So how the FUCK is them being *separated pretty much forevermore* a satisfactory end to that story???????

TL;DR, the Captain America movies were about the repeated separation and reunion of Steve and Bucky … and yet we barely got to SEE them together before Steve said sayonara to the man he’d been best friends with for over a for over a decade, to go be with a woman he’d known for about a year. 

A woman who’d already had a family without him.

Yeah, we can say her family still exists in the original timeline -- but I have seen soooo many different explanations of how the time sitch works out, it’s not even funny.

Really, that’s the third reason I don't want to see the movie: I HATE time paradox, and this movie sounds riddled with it. Also, as I understand it, the writers and the Russos are saying different things, with the Russos saying it’s a different timeline (which apparently Steve would be going *back* to after the shield pass, for some reason, and yeah, that bothered me, that he didnl't even give his best friend that momento, and sent their last onscreen moments together talking to SAM), and the writers saying no, the alternate timelines were only a thing when the Stones were in play. So yeah, Steve could spend the rest of his life with Bucky then ... but that means he also would have erased Peggy’s family (and maybe her work). Unless he was the man she married all along.

Either way, it would mean that Steve let Bucky suffer, and let HYDRA infiltrate SHIELD, neither being things I could see him doing.

And if it IS a branched-off timeline, I LOATHE that time theory, because it means NOTHING WE DO MATTERS. There’s always a version of us that’s our worst selves, and people who suffer because of it. That’s hella depressing. (Even if it would explain why I feel like I'm in the wrong world.)

At any rate, the ONLY end I really wanted was to see Steve and Bucky get to be together, no matter how -- “just friends” would have been fine. It was literally the thing I wanted most in the whole damn MCU franchise (aside from seeing Loki be redeemed and then fight alongside the Avengers. *sigh* At least I didn't have high hopes there ...). I would rather Steve had taken Bucky back in time WITH him, even if Steve still married Peggy; time paradox issues aside, I could have lived with that -- yes, even if it meant we didn’t get The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. (And honestly, how much am I supposed to look forward to that anyway, when Sam has been such an *inexplicably* uncompassionate asshole to Bucky in WS and CW? A guy who runs meetings for people with PTSD holds a grudge against a guy who was brutally mind-raped? It's like they made him OOC for the lolz!)

As for “Oh, but Bucky knew and he was okay with it!”

Uh, if he was okay with it, it's just because the writers *wrote* him that way for their own convenience, so they could do this ending. I have been besties with someone most of our lives. We broke up a few times, but we managed to keep finding our way back to each other. We don't live in the same state, so we rarely see each other, but at least we DO sometimes, and we write each other. If this person said they were going to go live somewhere with no way to communicate with me ever again, so they could be with someone they loved, of course I wouldn't want to say don't leave, because I'd want them to be happy, and wouldn't want to stand in the way … but that doesn't mean I'd be “okay”. in the slightest. And I wouldn't WANT other people I care about to go through such pain, much less think it beautiful to watch.

Plus, as I always say, this is fiction -- I don't need *that much* “reality” in my escapism. Temporary angst is my bread-and-butter -- it’s cathartic -- but I need a happy ending to be the payoff. To me, A TRULY happy ending for Steve -- and the one that would have been the best payoff for the narrative we’ve spent a decade watching -- would have been for him to not have to choose between the two people he loved most.

Edited 5/11/19 to add: For all those who are all “Oh, they’re just friends, they aren't gay”, I am more or less fine with sexual Stucky staying fanon; they still love each other platonically, are SOULMATES, ACCORDING TO THE SCREENWRITERS THEMSELVES (Christopher Markus and Steve McFeely), who wrote this as part of the intro to the graphic novel Captain America: White - “…Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale, and no adventure is complete without a love story. And yes, these books have one – the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history, in fact. We’re talking about Steve and Bucky, without smirking or innuendo or raised eyebrows. Platonic though the relationship may be, from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance.  These two men love each other – as any pair of friends who faced exclusion, combat, inhumanity, and death would. Their bond stretches across half the twentieth century. The loss of it gnaws at Steve throughout the modern day, and it slices his heart in half when the Winter Soldier rears his tormented, homicidal head. Just as Jeph and Tim’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each others’ soulmate, if you will, because no one on Earth understands what either of them has been through as well as the other does. The book deals deftly with the strengths and weaknesses that relationship engenders. As the Red Skull himself says to Bucky, “The captain has a … ‘soft spot’ for you. A spot I intend to put a bullet through this very evening.” Soldiers fight for their country. They fight for themselves. They fight for each other. And sometimes they die for these things, too.  The ones who don’t carry the memory of the ones who did for the rest of their days. Steve Rogers is no different.”

So he's gonna leave his soulmate (no matter the nature of their love) behind forever? FUCK THAT NOISE. I am completely baffled ow two writers who see Steve and Bucky that way would go on to give them that ending.

And retouching the whole for Bucky “knows and is okay” thing, the Russos also said that Bucky is too damaged still to be Captain America. Uh, THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THEY REALLY THINK HE’S OKAY.

[alethiometry]

kassandra, connor, edward

answered edward here! 😊

First impression

kassandra: loved loved LOOOOOVED her from the start! i saw a couple screenshots in a polygon review before i bought the game and thought she was just the prettiest damn jock i’d ever laid eyes on... and she still is. and from the very first line of the game (leonidas prologue notwithstanding) - the cyclops’ thugs yelling “HEY! SHITFACE!” to her while she’s just vibing on her roof - i was in looooooveeeee. her Scrappy Punk Energy is impeccable.

connor: i actually was kind of ambivalent towards him in the beginning! this was ofc coming off the way-too-long-and-boring haytham sequences, so although i was impatient to get to connor, i was also a little annoyed that there STILL seemed to be so much story before we could run around and be assassin-y. so although i liked him, it was hard not to be annoyed at the slow start of his story. i think it took until like sequence 5 or something for him to get a hidden blade. which, considering there’s only about 12 sequences in ac3, was kind of annoying.

Impression now

kassandra: i still adore her, but for even more reasons! i will never not love the feisty misthios with the conflict deescalation skills of a molotov cocktail side of her, but equally i love her devotion to her family in the main storyline, her justified rage and love for her son in the legacy of the first blade dlc, and even her exhaustion but eventual commitment to her (awful, no-good, horrible) destiny in the fate of atlantis dlc. it’s a little difficult to characterize kassandra definitively, because i think her development/arc is far more loosely constructed than other assassin’s creed protagonists, but in general she is presented as somebody who is humorous and loving and cocky and formidable and charismatic, and doesn’t buckle under the weight of all the responsibility she has taken on, or that has been thrust upon her. she rises to every challenge thrown in her way and comes out of it more resilient and always with that sardonic twinkle in her eye and a smartass comment at the tip of her tongue.

connor: WE STAN A CHARACTER WHO NEVER LOSES HOPE EVEN IN THE FACE OF LOSING HIS MOTHER, HIS HOME, HIS BEST FRIEND, HIS FATHER, HIS PEOPLE, AND HIS MENTOR. WE STAN A CHARACTER WHO SURROUNDS HIMSELF WITH PEOPLE HE LOVES AND WHO LOVE HIM IN RETURN, WHO DOES EVERYTHING FOR OTHER PEOPLE OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF HIS HEART AND BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, WHO DEFENDS THOSE WHO CAN’T DEFEND THEMSELVES. WE STAN A CHARACTER WHO, WHEN BETRAYED BY PEOPLE HE THOUGHT WERE ALLIES TO HIS CAUSE, SEVERS HIS TIES WITH THEM BUT RATHER THAN SUCCUMBING TO CYNICISM CONTINUES TO DO GOOD AND FIGHT FOR JUSTICE AND FREEDOM FOR EVERYONE. WE STAN A CHARACTER WHO IS ANGRY AND STUBBORN AND CONFRONTATIONAL AND BRUTALLY EFFICIENT AT TAKING DOWN HIS ENEMIES, BUT IS ALSO BLUNT AND HONEST AND SELFLESS AND KIND AND COMPASSIONATE AND UNWAVERINGLY LOYAL TO HIS LOVED ONES.

Favorite moment

kassandra: i can’t just choose one are you fucking kidding me they’re all so good she is so good she is perfect and has literally never done anything wrong ever in her life and we know this and we love her

but her monologue/voiceover to elpidios at the end of legacy of the first blade as she sends him away for his own protection always breaks my fucking heart so maybe let’s go with that 😭

connor: there are once again so many to choose from, but if i had to pick just one... i’m really feeling that haytham-washington-connor scene rn. where haytham exposes that washington was behind the shelling of connor’s village and the death of his mother - clearly with the goal of getting connor to turn on the revolutionaries and see the world for the twisted, cynical place that haytham sees it as (he even says as much in his journal in ac forsaken). but instead of taking the bait, connor responds in his own way: he shows that he is not blind to the fact that washington has been using him this whole time, but also that he knows that haytham is trying to do just the same thing to him now. he immediately recognizes that haytham was waiting to spring this information on him and calls him out on it, and reminds both haytham and washington that he is not stupid, that his loyalty is borne out of his sense of right and wrong rather than naivete, and that his people come first. his people ALWAYS come first.

and maybe i’m just a sucker for monologues but the ac forsaken monologue that was recorded but never added into the game for some unknown godforsaken bullshit reason was so so so fucking good and if it had been included in the game i am sure it would be my favorite. “FOR AT MY SIDE WALKS HOPE??????????? T H A T  IS MY COMPROMISE???????????/” ✨🔥😲🌟🙌 ⁉ ⭐💯🙏‼😭👏😭🔥✨ BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Idea for a story

kassandra: i basically stuffed all my angsty kassandra ideas into one wip that i’m not sure if i’ll ever finish but love to daydream about. obviously endgame kassidas because, like, that’s my brand, but i also want to take the time to explore her relationship with natakas the way that ubisoft sure as shit fucking didn’t. it’s kind of an amphipolis fix-it and a legacy of the first blade fix-it all in one, if i can ever manage that. probably the most ambitious wip i’ve ever attempted. oh, and also she gets to raise her goddamn son and doesn’t get saddled with any of that keeper-of-memories bullshit. so in a way it’s just a fix-it for the entire goddamn game because kassandra deserved SO much better and i’ll never not be mad about it.

connor: in continuing the tradition of haytham leaving his journal for connor, i think it would be neat if connor kept a journal for io:nhiote. and i’ve rambled before about a connor sequel but you know what the more i talk about it the more i can maybe will it into existence. i think it would be neat if it was framed in a epistolic way where connor is preserving their family’s legacy as he discovers more and more about edward’s life, writing it all down for his daughter, similar to the way revelations was told through ezio’s letters to claudia. it would start in 1791 with connor traveling to the caribbean to aid the haitian brotherhood in the revolution, and it would take him all across the islands - to cuba, to new providence, to jamaica, to greater inagua. to all the places where edward had been. maybe there would be scraps of journals or message bottles with edward’s memories in them? and when the revolution has been won and connor has learned all he can about edward’s life, he travels to england to visit edward and tessa’s graves and to meet his last living relative: his aunt jenny. she’s old and dying at this point but she’s back at the kenway manor in queen anne’s square and after a little bit of trepidation (and maybe he shows her haytham’s journal or his hidden blade as proof that he’s not just some random dude) she lets him in. she tells him about her life and about haytham as a child, and the more she talks the more at peace she seems to be, and connor smiles and takes her hand and thanks her for letting him in, and she passes away quietly and painlessly. and the last thing he does in england before he heads back to his own family is visit his father’s childhood bedroom. he sees the same edward-ghost (like the altair-ghost at the beginning of acr) that he’s been following through animus-memory or eagle vision or whatever: only this time, it’s not some deep insight into assassin-ing or anything like that. all he sees is edward tucking haytham into bed on the night of his tenth birthday. UBISOFT FUCKING HIRE ME.

i also wouldn’t be opposed to a meet-cute type story for how connor meets his future wife, although it’s a story i would prefer someone else to write (to my exacting specifications ofc lol), rather than write it myself.

Unpopular opinion

kassandra: idk how popular/unpopular this is but i did find myself choosing a lot of the meaner dialogue options because although i think she does have a kind heart and feels genuine compassion for people, i think she is by nature a very blunt and often harsh person. i mentioned in the edward post that i think he and kass are kindred spirits, by which i mean i think they both have rough-and-tumble exteriors that they present to the world, and hold their loyalties and loved ones very close to their heart. they’re both exuberant and extroverted people who thrive as mercenaries but in their most vulnerable moments strive for something more long-lasting and stable and quiet. but where i think they differ is that kassandra is... just a little meaner/more abrasive?

connor: i don’t think i have any? i genuinely can’t think of any right now. connor is perfect and everyone knows it. nothing but respect to the king.

Favorite relationship

kassandra: romantically, obiviously it’s brasidas and/or roxana. i don’t think i need to go more into that. battle couples my beloveds 😍😘🥰

platonically, i of course love her relationship with her family. i would kill to have more endgame content with any surviving family members. i’d love a scene between kass and deimos and nikolaos, and a scene between kass and stentor and deimos. there is so much potential there and the game is so goddamn anticlimactic. and while i understand that some of that is because it’s already a long damn game and it’s difficult to program so many branching narratives and storylines and endings, i also... idk i just wish there was deeper relationship-building in the game

connor: i shipped him with miriam for a hot second until that french dude came along and swept her off her feet 😅 but mostly, as with edward, i don’t really him him romantically with anybody because i know he gets hitched later on in life and we don’t know anything about his wife. besides, there’s not a lot of hot singles in his area (rip). and he even says himself that he’s too busy to settle down just yet.

non-romantically, my favorite relationship/interaction is connor and haytham. they’re such a hot mess and i love it. i love how at odds they are ideologically, and yet despite the constant bickering and snapping at each other they still manage to work well enough together. and the fact that haytham can’t even define how he feels about the son he didn’t know he had and who seems to reject him at every turn, while connor continues to hold out hope that he can reconcile with his father.... but they’re both too goddamn stubborn to voice it... i should be angry with These Idiot Men for bottling up their feelings like this, but with these two, i get it. i get why they are the way they are, and i’m just here for the ride. they’re not passive-aggressive about it (well - haytham kinda is), they’re just aggressive. and i love that. the scene on the rooftop where haytham tells him “the only different - the only difference between myself and those you aid, is that i do not feign affection” is SO good. (i almost listed it as my favorite scene but i think i like the washington scene better bc it’s more indicative of connor’s character, whereas this one is more indicative of haytham’s)

Favorite headcanon

kassandra: can barely cook. it just wasn’t something myrrine taught her growing up, because as spartan nobles/royalty they probably had helots doing the cookiing (i think there’s at least one helot you see in one of the family flashback scenes), and she would have been way more interested in combat training with nikolaos anyway. and by the time she’s on kephallonia, i highly doubt markos would know how to cook much more than just the bare minimum for them to both survive. and she wouldn’t have access to the meats and spices that she probably grew up eating in sparta - just bread and cheeses, and fish if she can catch them. simple stuff that she can either prepare fairly easily, or that she can steal. essentially, my headcanon is that kassandra can prepare food just enough that she can feed herself (and eventually phoibe). but if you gave her like a chicken or a pig or some other animal and said “make it tasty” she would have no fucking clue what to do.

connor: i like to think that after achilles’ passing, he started taking in stray animals. the mansion is so big and lonely when it’s just him; he’s always lived in close quarters with other people, and as introverted as he is i think the solitude of the empty mansion is just way too fucking bleak. so obviously the solution is that he just starts bringing strays home. maybe it starts with an injured critter that he nurses back to health, or a dog or a cat that keeps following him around when he’s in boston/nyc. but much like how eivor eventually winds up with like 80 pets inside the longhouse, i like to imagine that at some point there’s like 3 dogs, and 2 cats that curl up in/around his bed at night, birds that repeatedly come and nest in the beams of the mansion roof year after year, deer that come by and nibble at the weeds/bushes by the cliffs, because connor may or may not go to great lengths to ensure that their favorite nibblin’ plants grow there year-round.

send me a character!

[miscellanyblue]

Tales from ‘the heart of modern misogyny’

The Daily Beast unmasking of a New Hampshire House member as the founder of a notorious online forum that has been called “the heart of modern misogyny” sent shockwaves through the state’s political community. The governor, House speaker and GOP party chair all called on Rep. Robert Fisher (R-Laconia) to resign and last week the Republican-led House voted 307-56 to review Fisher’s actions for possible sanctions.

In a Laconia Daily Sun column, Fisher implicitly acknowledged his role in creating the forum when he explained and defended comments attributed to Reddit user pk_atheist in Bonnie Bacarisse’s detailed investigation. The previously anonymous Redditor is the founder of The Red Pill, which bills itself as a forum to discuss “sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.”

Fisher’s defense pointedly omitted any mention of The Red Pill, either his role in creating it or his ongoing involvement in the community. He will have a chance to expound on that Tuesday when he appears before the House Legislative Administration Committee. Here’s what we found.

‘Friends, I am stepping down’

On January 4, 2013, pk_atheist handed off the role of The Red Pill moderator to RedPillSchool, a Redditor whose account had been created just 17 minutes before the message from pk_atheist.

“Friends, I am stepping down,” he wrote. “Thanks for the great month.. this place has really grown and I'm excited for its future. Unfortunately due to circumstances I won't be bringing up here I am officially stepping down as a moderator and will no longer take part in any way with this community.”

“But don't worry..” pk_atheist wrote. “I leave you in the very capable hands of /u/redpillschool. I have been talking with him over the past few weeks and he is more than prepared to continue taking the community in the same direction. So long, and thanks for a memorable experience.”

“Don't worry... I promise to fill the void!” RedPillSchool chimed in. “Pk and I are on the same page.”

Over time, some Red Pillers conflated the two aliases and referred to RedPillSchool as the forum’s founder. For example, pickup artist Daryush "Roosh V" Valizadeh introduced The Red Pill to his blog’s readers by writing, “The Red Pill subreddit was created by an anonymous individual who goes by the handle RedPillSchool.”

When “The Red Pill Sidebar” was published in 2015, a post that had been written by pk_atheist in November 2012 to introduce the forum was included -- but it was now attributed to RedPillSchool. RedPillSchool thanked the member who assembled the collection and he placed a copy on a Red Pill website “so it doesn't disappear one day.”

In that same discussion, RedPillSchool recounted a date he had with a women's studies major who was familiar with The Red Pill and “went on and on about how refreshing it was to go on a date with a guy who was nothing like that. … I told her that I created the forum and actually hated women. She laughed and ordered another round. I don't think people would believe me if I did go public. Lol”

RedPillSchool made an explicit effort to refrain from providing personal details that would threaten his anonymity. In 2013, though, he did confirm his age as “30 +- 2 years.” (Fisher was 28 at the time.) In a Guardian interview he also confirmed that he is “white, atheist [and] conservative” (though admittedly, that likely applies to most Red Pillers).

RedPillSchool does occasionally repeat the story that he inherited The Red Pill from its founder, pk_atheist. “The sub itself was handed over to me early on,” he wrote last year, “I had had a lot of long conversations with the founder who went on to bigger and better things and he trusted I would run the forum well.”

But in a Guardian interview, RedPillSchool changed his story and said that he was the creator of The Red Pill. In the unabridged version of the interview RedPillSchool posted online, he told the reporter that he had been moderating the subreddit “since the red pill's inception.”

RedPillSchool described the events that led him to create the site. “I got started when I stumbled upon a few manosphere blogs and realized there wasn't really a good forum for discussion on masculine topics,” he explained. “I noticed the attitude of women in the dating market was very negative, it was a terrible experience. So that led me to researching others' experiences which led me to the mansophere, and eventually theredpill.”

(The Guardian piece referred to RedSchoolPill as “Morpheus Manfred.” RedPillSchool explained: “A few years ago was my first big interview, it was BBC world News. I needed an email, quickly. So I made a GMAIL, and it needed a name, so I figured, let's try Morpheus. You know, for obvious reasons. They needed a last name though, so I just thought Manfred sounded kinda righteous. Didn't realize they'd read my ‘From’ line on the email and announce me as Morpheus Manfred on the air. Since then I just kept it for consistency's sake.”)

‘We are the Puerarchy’

As The Red Pill grew, RedPillSchool was instrumental in rolling out a series of Red Pill-related websites – all with a connection to Fisher.

The original administrator’s email address for each site was Fisher’s personal email address -- the same email address linked to his campaign website, his band website and included in Fisher’s letter of complaint to the PUC -- and are all hosted on servers in Orlando, Florida. (Fisher once told Redditors that he is “personally spending thousands of dollars to co-locate [computer servers] in places like Florida.”)

The websites include trp.red (email), a Red Pill-related social media platform; forums.red (email), an archive of the Reddit Red Pill subreddits; feministvictims.com (email), a fundraising site for “victims of feminism;” and puerarchy.com (email), RedPillSchool’s blog.

Puerarchy.com is also linked to Fisher through a Google Adsense account. The website shares a Google Adsense publisher ID with insideNH.com, a website authored by Fisher and Rep. Nick Zaricki (R-Goffstown) where the legislators discussed issues related to their work in the New Hampshire House. (The insideNH.com domain name expired last month and the site is now offline.) Ad revenue from the two sites is directed to the same user's account.

Puerarchy.com made its debut in the summer of 2013. The word “puerarchy” was coined by the author of The Manosphere: A New Hope For Masculinity, Ian Ironwood, to describe “the evolution of male values and masculine goals toward a more selfish, self-oriented and unashamedly masculine perspective.”

RedPillSchool embraced the notion as a battle cry: “We’re going to eat pizza. We’re going to play videogames. We’re going to look at porn. We’re going to fuck every bitch we can. And we’re never going to ‘grow up,’” he wrote. “Some of us may make brilliant amounts of money. But one thing’s for sure: what we do is for us- and we’re not going to share. … Honor is dead. Long live the Puerarchy.”

In addition to news and discussion, the site hosts an interactive, text-based game: Slut Quest. It’s a sendup of Depression Quest, the game by female game developer Zoe Quinn that was at the center of the Gamergate controversy. The Slut Quest storyline is a typical Red Pill trope: a woman who has sex with men to advance her career and threatens to accuse them of rape if they don’t accede to her demands. “Slutquest was my crowning achievement,” RedPillSchool wrote.

Feministvictims.com was launched in response to the Andria Richards controversy that resulted in a male tech employee losing his job after she overheard him making an off-color remark. A Huffington Post write-up included a quote from RedPillSchool explaining why he believed the new site was necessary. “Unfortunately in today’s climate, being a man has become a financial liability,” RedPillSchool wrote. “Say the wrong thing in the wrong place and you can find your entire life ruined. Destroyed.”

“Feminists have fought for equality, but now they’re out for our rights,” he continued. “They’re destroying us financially. They’re trying to tear apart our families. We’re saying that enough is enough. No longer should men fear masculinity.”

‘I won't deny that the language is colorful’

When interviewed by Guardian’s Stephen Marche about The Red Pill’s notorious reputation as a misogynistic cesspool, RedPillSchool said, “I won't deny that the language is colorful and there's a lot of emotion expressed by the men on the forum.”

“I would argue that the definition of misogyny isn't really very concrete, that much is labeled as such because it's inconvenient. So, let's say there's a guy who just says ‘well I hate women.’ I think that's textbook misogyny and, in fact, we let them say that,” he continued. Because there's nowhere else for a man to blow off steam. … The endgame of our advice isn't to hate women. It's to understand them so you can stop being so darn frustrated by them.”

“If a guy came on and talked about actually hurting women or plotting to harm them, we'd remove them and possibly contact authorities if there was any risk of an immediate threat,” he insisted. “But this is the one place where men have the freedom to throw around ideas, vent, and discuss openly with other men.”

RedPillSchool denied the forum promotes rape culture. “There's no discussion of rape strategies. It's antithetical to our entire purpose, which is to find a way to become attractive enough that women will want to be with us,” he said. “If the group was seriously pro-rape, there simply wouldn't be a discussion on building attraction. We'd just take 'em all by force.”

“There have been probably a handful of comments I've removed over the past three years,” he continued, “and they're usually one-offs by trolls who want to make the group look pro-rape. They're banned and removed, since that is strictly forbidden in our forum rules.”

On the other hand, RedPillSchool has endorsed the subject of rape as “a great marketing gimmick.” In a post summarizing the “Red Pill state of affairs” written last year, RedPillSchool praised pickup artist "Roosh V" for the attention garnered by his plans for an international meet-up that was condemned as a “make rape legal” rally by detractors. The American blogger is best known for a 2015 article in which he proposed legalizing rape – a piece he said was a “satirical thought experiment” and “not to be taken literally.”

“I really can't fault him for the play that he made,” RedPillSchool wrote. “Some clever statements about rape that could be played off with the plausible deniability of satire, but gaining international attention on the sound bites. He was able to scare feminists and women in every major city, convincing them that big, bad rapists were coming to town to meet, plot and fester in the underbellies of their streets.”

‘The wrath of vitriolic women’

RedPillSchool has apparently been keeping a close eye on the Fisher unmasking and the subsequent reactions. The day Fisher’s response to the Daily Beast article was published by the Laconia Daily Sun, RedPillSchool posted a link to it on a Red Pill-related site. “I just got sent this by somebody on [Reddit],” he wrote.

Saturday, he addressed the unmasking, referring to it as “the recent doxxing of an alleged redpill founder.”

“Knowing the truth and living by it was not enough to save that man from the wrath of vitriolic women,” RedPillSchool wrote. “He stands as a testament to what happens to men who stand alone: They get torn down. Had he not built his own support structure, it could have been the end of his career.”