#MY BELOVEDS....... thank you alli for humoring me!

[nail-art-no-jutsu]

❣️ Nagato aka Pain x gender neutral reader ❣️

I saw this post and I loved it and I was inspired to make my own, in which the truth reveal is Nagato's idea instead! He is such a fave and I'm a big fan of giving love to disabled characters!

The narrator can be unreliable and they kinda have anxiety lolol

This is sfw, weird and fluffy (will post nsfw hcs soon!)

Big thank @ everyone who sent comments encouraging me to write!!

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*-*-*-*-* minors DNI *-*-*-*-*

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Pain was waiting for you alone, and for the first time, his back was towards the door. If you didn't know better you'd have thought he didn't even hear you come in.

As always you had your paperwork with you, and you were ready to present your report and to answer endless questions about things you'd already covered. It was a bit ridiculous, but what else could you do but humor your beloved leader?

You knew what he really wanted, of course. Why he started ordering you to stay after the meetings and talk to him in private, and called you over more and more often. Why his hypnotizing eyes focused on yours for far longer than necessary, and he got curious about your past, and he indulged in your small talk...

And if you were lucky, he even awarded your little jokes with a subtle, knowing smile that seemed a bit... well, not quite how you had imagined his smile would be, but damn, it was so attractive! At the same time, it confirmed your theory that his almighty leader persona was just that. You loved that look on him, of course, but it was so delightful that he had shared a bit of insight into how he was off-duty, and the more he showed you, the more you wanted to see.

Except, things seemed to have gotten a bit... stuck.

Ugh! Why didn't he just... give in already, and use his powers to pull you towards him, hold your head in his hands, and devour your mouth? Surely he couldn't have failed to register all the ways you'd been signaling how badly you wanted to get closer to him? What could possibly stand in the way of a man who called himself a god?

Truth be told, you knew well enough that asking yourself such questions was futile, and a part of you had lost hope that you could ever become more to him than a simple collaborator of the Akatsuki.

"Um, Lord Pain? Shall I begin?"

He turned around to face you, and, okay, there was definitely something going on with him today, he looked a little bit... displeased? Was that it? Whatever it was, it had something to do with you. He wasn't unforgiving, you'd made mistakes before, that wasn't what you were worried about--

"No. Today... I have something to share with you."

O...kay?

"I'm listening."

You tried to remind yourself how often you worried for no reason, what if he wanted to give you a promotion, and finally make you a real Akatsuki member, cloak and ring and nail polish and all, but Pain was taking his sweet time, no doubt to increase the impact of his words, and with each passing second you felt more uneasy.

"Before I continue", he began, "I must inform you that what I wish to share is top secret information, and I cannot risk it falling into enemy hands, or even being disclosed to most actual members and allies. Therefore, if you accept to receive this information, you must agree to move into this building for an indefinite amount of time, and exit only in the company of someone I fully trust. You would be provided with everything you require for your daily life and for your work."

Pain gave you a good while to process all of that, and you did your best.

"An... indefinite amount of time?"

"If you accept, you will see why."

"And if I refuse?"

"If you refuse... nothing will change."

Well that's a lie, you thought, or in any case, it was completely impossible. This wasn't the kind of conversation that you could just forget and carry on like before, and you were pretty sure neither could he. Everything had already changed.

So... why not just accept and be done with it? You trusted your leader with everything. You trusted him to rearrange the world, and you trusted him with your life. Besides, this was his residence, you'd get to see him every day, and you'd be the safest you've ever been as long as you continue to get along with him. And indefinite didn't have to mean forever. You'd earned enough of his trust to get this far, you could continue to earn more.

"One more thing before you decide", Pain said. "I've been getting the impression that you're... attracted to me, are you not?"

Before you could reply, you were betrayed by the blood that rushed to your face.

"I... yeah. I am. Very attracted."

... Oh goodness, could the ground just swallow you up, please?

And there was that strange little smile of his again. And a nod. Just one.

"Feel free to take time to think, although I will ask you to do it here, within the premises."

"Oh... it's okay, I've already made up my mind."

Pain's face was serious now, and he was completely still.

"I'd be honored to hear your secret, Lord Pain. And to move in here, too."

"Your decision is final... ?"

"It is."

Pain nodded, and then his eyes turned to the door, and instinctively so did yours. The door opened, and one after another, five Akatsuki walked in, who all had the same orange hair as Pain (except for one who had no hair), the same eyes, the same kind of black piercings. You held your breath, and you wanted to stare at each of them, but then you remembered yourself, and bowed.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance", you said. "Um, Lord Pain's family?"

Two of them looked old enough to be his fathers, and the others, his siblings.

"We" the oldest said.

"Are" the next one immediately added...

"Pain,"

"All"

"Of"

"Us", your leader finished.

The sentence flowed perfectly, as if they had all rehearsed it for hours to sound like only one person was speaking, but what did it actually mean?

"Please listen closely", the first Pain said, "and you might want to take a seat first."

*

You didn't even know how much time had passed until Konan came to pick you up. Pain - the original Pain and the other Pains - had left you alone to contemplate the long, complicated, heartbreaking story you'd just heard.

"You lived", Konan said, and gave you a paper towel to dry your face. "Congratulations."

You accepted it and you bowed.

"I... I'm very sorry to hear about... about your loss!"

You couldn't even imagine what it would be like to see your loved one's corpse walking around, speaking with the voice of your mutual best friend. There seemed to be no emotion on her face, though, at least not in that moment. It made sense, though. Maybe now that you had accepted to move in with all of them she would start to trust you more too. Maybe you'd become friends.

"Well then, are you ready? Pain is waiting for you."

"Oh... yeah. I'm ready."

*

You went into the room alone, and your eyes were immediately drawn to the one pop of color in it: your leader's red hair, and his uncovered eye, which was the only familiar thing about him. You then had but a few moments to take notice of everything: the state of his body, the impressive machine he was using, the rods that pierced his back.

The door closed behind you, and you saw a flash of orange. You looked around, and all six paths were aligned against the wall.

"Don't mind them", Pain said. "They're here for safety reasons. At least for now. You understand."

"Yes, of course, and besides, they're all... you, Lord Pain, so technically we're alone."

He smiled, and it made you smile too. It was that soft smile you had grown to love. You knew now why it looked so odd to you on Tendo Pain's face. It was this face, his real face, where it truly belonged.

"Why don't you climb up here", he said, and you obliged.

His rinnegan looked so beautiful from up close. You felt the sudden urge to brush his thin curtain of hair away from his face and see both eyes better, but you kept it to yourself.

"Well? Any questions?"

"I... right now, just one..."

"Yes?"

"Well, you got me to admit that I'm interested in you, but you never said anything, and I'd like to know, if you please..."

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? Again? Maybe your answer has changed..."

"Actually, no, it hasn't!"

He glanced behind you.

"If you are disappointed that I don't really look like that, trust me, I understand. Sadly, he is off-limits."

He was looking at his Tendo path, but you didn't turn around to look too.

"No, it's alright, that body belonged to someone who meant the world to you, I'm not surprised that... you wouldn't want..."

"The others, though, if any of them strikes your fancy..."

"This one does! The one I'm looking at right now. My Lord Pain, with his lovely smile, who still hasn't answered my question."

"How is this for an answer?"

And before you realized, he pulled you into a kiss, harder than you would have expected, with one hand cupping your cheek and the other on the top of your head, exactly how you had fantasized. You kissed him back with no hesitation, pouring all your yearning into it, parting your lips for him. He tasted of sweetened medication, and when you reached out to touch him, his skin felt a bit cold, a bit dry.

And that was fine. It was the truth. It was him finally being himself with you.

When you opened your eyes and looked at him, you saw that the kiss had brought the faintest bit of color to his cheeks. Yours, on the other hand, were probably red enough to rival his hair. Judging by his smile, he loved to see it.

"Lord Pain--"

"Please, say my name."

"Nagato... thank you for sharing your truth with me."

"Thank you for being so wonderful."

And they lived happily ever after lalala I'm not listening~ 😂 Thank you for reading😘

[nerdyenby]

Orange time :D I’m watching Jojo

TOASTER!!!!!! :DD

Jojo wanting to get Pearl her first win <33

Watching people study ace race is such an experience

Owen be well rested, well fed, and well moisturized and Jojo just being… fine… lol

Jojo’s comms are so iconic and for what

Wait I didn’t realize Owen was pg lmao

This team’s sot is going to be legendary

“I will do anything for everyone” my streamer’s a team player <33

Stupid bodies trying to keep us alive, smh

AIMSEY!!!!! :D

Nooooo Olliegamerz D:

This team top three EASILY come on guys

“Jojo, how would you describe me as a sandkeeper” best in the business baby!!!!

Pocket sand???? Omg genloss reference 👀 /hj

Nooooo purpled D:

It’s so fun seeing so many contestants just coincidentally fighting to the death in water fight

“Turns out all you had to do to make skybattle my favorite game is remove fall damage, remove armor, and remove swords” “-and give everyone guns” “and give everyone guns!!”

“Orange is my name, orange is my game. Get your daily dose of vitamin C”

WHERE ARE YOUR PRONOUNS AIMSEY /j /lh

“Say that I’m giving birth because I am pushing” AIMEEEEE 😭😭😭

“They ‘said what are you wearing’” “Do you want me to kill them?” Jojo that one meme fr

Jojo being ready and willing to kill transphobes is so ally of her

Did Jojo just get two aces back to back??????? And not even bat an eye???? Queen shit

Pearl accidental igl arc, everyone listening to everyone she says as gospel, as they should

This team is so <33333

Aimsey being so excited that they still have their crown is so <3

“I’ve just won, I’ve had one glass on wine, I’m with Pearl, I’m having a beautiful time today” Aimsey’s living xeir best life!!

It’s the smallest thing, but Owen using “they” for Aimsey when he’s not in the call can be something so personal

They’re so funny and for what

“MCC reminds me that time is always passing” SAME

Rocket Spleef

The vocal stimming is strong with this one

Freinds who lose together stay together ig 😂

Owen popping off!!!

False appreciation hour :))

Hole in the Wall

Their comms are so good!!!

These walls do feel trickier but it might just be the map, idk

Aimsey’s popping off!! 4th!!!!!!

This team is so well balanced, they’re wild

Skybattle

I love this team so much, they’re simultaneously chill and stressed but like in a fun way

That border is so fast what

JOJO OH MY GOSH!!!!! /pos

Aimsey is such a good hypeman :))

TWELVE KILLLLLLLSSSSSSS

Can’t believe she’s the only person ever <333

Jojo and Ran <333

Meltdown

Pearl taking charge my beloved :))

“Pearl, you’re my hero” so true Jojo!!!

Aimsey going absolutely wild!!!!

I figured it out!!!! This team is super good at listening to each other, they keep comms clear while having good banter. The respect they have for each other both as players and as people is so evident in how they talk to and treat each other and it’s just so <333

Omg that was so silly of them

“That was kinda funny” “It was kinda funny” so true!!!

Aimsey is so freaking funny and for what, their humor is so under appreciated

THATS MY TEAM!!!!! LOOK AT THEM GO!!!!!!!

“I feel very safe in Pearl’s guidance” Owen’s so real for that, honestly

Jojo’s screams when Aimsey fell were so /pos

Them shouting at Jojo to go in without them

“All my friends are dead 😢” lol

OWEN AND PEARL!!!!!!

Them hyping each other up and being so happy for each other up means everything

“I’m gonna go kiss my girlfriend, be right back” “okay, alright, go brag about it” they’re everything, actually

Jojo thanking Pearl for being igl and telling her how good a job she did <333

This team is just so soft and encouraging and trusting, I love them so much you guys

Aimsey truly is the swiftie of all time

Battle Box

Strategy time :))

Jojo getting hard targeted rip

Good round against purple there!!!

This map is very rough, even when watching teams that are doing well it still feels bad a lot of the time

Double trouble is over now, it can’t hurt you anymore

“I’m so close to writing a twitlonger about that map” Aimsey my beloved lmao

“If we skip sands of time I’m babyraging, I’m saying this now” “Babyraging? I’m full on raging, I don’t even care” my streamers are so based

Ace Race

I love Aimsey so much you guys

Jojo and Owen top 3 and 4?!?!!!!!

First and second?!!??!!! Orange 33 supremacy!!!!!!!

Pearl’s little giggle at Owen’s pun killed me actually /pos

Pete appreciation hour <333

“ASSHOL- I mean… butthole” nice save

That exact tie is wild tho

“Bottom ten” “or: top thirty” Owen my beloved

Aimsey popping off!!! Don’t be hard on yourself king, you’re killing it <33

“The M in MCC stands for misogynist” Aimsey is the funniest person on the planet actually

Grid Runners

Best game time :))

Owen being so excited to learn new minecraft mechanics is so /pos

They’re so smooth with it!!!!

This run is a piece of art holy crap

That redstone room kinda got them but they figured it out really well considering I don’t think any of them are super familiar with redstone

Oh my gosh their running commentary of the score breakdown was so freaking funny

Punctuation matters lmao

“Hold on, I’m just gonna- dear Taylor Swift, please may we play sands of time today, amen” AIMSEY

Sands of Time

Owen, hon, it’s eleven and it does not matter /lh

Aimsey is such a good sandkeeper you guys

Incredible comms, amazing vibes, I love them so much

“No worries… a little bit worried, but it’s ok” I love Owen

NOOOOOOOOO SO CLOSEEEEEE

They did so good tho ;-;

Pearl 21st individual!!! That’s my girl!!!!

Owen and Pearl synchronized reassurance <333

Dodgebolt

“All the glory, none of the pressure” so true Owen

“We consistently defied expectations” MCC Reddit is sexist as hell, I predicted y’all third because I’m always right and have never been wrong ever /hj

“I don’t know who I need to bribe to get Aimsey as a sandkeeper again but I would- I would sell my house” OWEN BASED

Aimsey getting the appreciation they deserve 💗💕💗💗💕💕💗💕💗💗💕💗💗

I entirely thought Aimsey said captain crunch lmao

Ok I don’t like Sapnap for several reasons (rancid vibes, toxic as hell, bffs with a racist and a groomer) and I’m not a fan of Punz either but Ponk being the first Black player to win MCC is huge and also disgusting that it’s taken 33 events, so happy for them and Gumi too <3

This team was amazing, I love them so much

Pearl I love you so much, please be kind to yourself, you’re incredible and don’t be hard on yourself <333

Oli and Jojo are everything, actually

“I want proof of one person who put you guys low” “Callum put us in 8th!!” ���Callum is stupid, bro!!!!” Cpk slander is never not funny to me, I love that guy but he’s a fool /pos

[revserrayyu]

2.2 Penacony thoughts [part 1]

**Mild spoiler warning** in place as I didn’t reach that far into the new update as of yet. Stopped right after seeing Sunday being a holy man listening to the troubles of others, so if that scene doesn’t ring any bells, then please refrain from reading further. As always, don’t spoil anything that happens afterwards, not only for myself, but for anyone else who hasn’t finished the new story yet.

First things first, I’m so pleased that we start off with Boothill. It feels like it’s been forever since he was first drip-marketed and when we heard that phone call of his with Black Swan, so finally seeing him in game is pretty nice. Still love that design in his eye too.

I’m also happy that the jade abacus was brought up again. Once we saw DHIL & Jing Yuan team up in the 2.2 livestream trailer I figured that Dan Heng was gonna call upon our beloved general with this item. At present, I don’t know if it’s actually used or if we head to the Xianzhou instead and request for help. Either way, I’m a bit surprised the general lends a hand. Of course he’s an ally and promised to help us with any troubles, but.. last time we saw him, he had just encountered Luocha and Jingliu, right? Could Jing Yuan really have left that confrontation behind so easily? Are we ever going to learn about what happened during that conversation? Who knows, but I hope we find out one day if this story doesn’t mention the matter further.

Anyways, who do you think the Elation Emanator that Boothill is? Naturally, I first thought of Sparkle solely because of her “I AM Elation!” declaration during her character trailer and her being a Masked Fool, but seeing how Boothill is having issues accessing Penacony in the first place, I doubt the two have officially met. They could’ve met elsewhere, sure, but I still doubt it’s Sparkle. Still haven’t a clue on who else it could be though but whomever it is certainly can’t hold their liquor.

Then we cut to Acheron being cornered by a bunch of npcs who are apparently all part of the “Dreammaster,” but let me just say that I love how literal Acheron can be, like correcting how many slashes she actually used. It’s also a bit scary for her to mention, as I don’t even remember a second blade either.

She’s just.. ironically funny to me. Acting all threatening but being completely serious with her grammar.

It was humorous when we switched to Robin for the first time. I didn’t manage to get a screenshot of it but how the screen even questioned it like “switching to Robin’s POV?” was hilarious. And rightfully so because this certainly isn’t our beloved idol. Sparkle, please, stop handing out bombs to everyone!

It was a short switch, but we finally jump back to where we personally left off. I know the journey Firefly is referring to might be our time hanging out together in Penacony, but somewhere deep down I imagine it could also be about our possible time with the Stellaron Hunters before the entire story even happened. I’m sure we have some sort of past with them but who knows if and when we’ll touch upon that.

Firefly goes into detail about her actions, about how she informed Silver Wolf to contact us and the plan she wanted to share with us before “Death” acted out. I guess it makes the lies and secrets a bit more bearable? All according to the script and at least she originally intended to tell us everything before the monster lashed out.

Then we get scene with her and Blade and oh my god, they both look so good?? Learning that Blade actually owns a driver’s license is comical too. Who would’ve thought our edgy man could be so reliable.

I’m so thankful for this scene as it gives us a taste about how Firefly acts around the other Stellaron Hunters. Since the rumors about her being Sam started, I couldn’t imagine how this sweet girl could’ve been one of them, but it seems she gets along just fine, even teasing Blade a bit.

Now correct me if I’m wrong but this is actually a flashback that happens right before Kafka destroys the Jepella Brotherhood during that one Myriad Celestia trailer, yeah? That’s pretty cool. Confirms that Firefly has been here the entire time and Bladie is even wearing the same suit.

I never thought of a decent acronym for what Sam could really mean, but we finally got our answer: Strategic Assault Mech. Makes me wonder if Firefly is even her true name, since that also seems to be part of the suit’s name.

Rejoice, someone other than ourselves can actually see Misha and Clockie. Would’ve never guessed that person to be Welt though. I guess he really is a child at heart. I know he gets excited whenever mechs are involved, such as the Engine of Creation, but this also reminds me of how his E6 depicts him as a child.

It’s unsettling that Misha calls “Death” something so innocent as “Sleepie.” Also claims that the monster isn’t aggressive and sometimes fetches the wrong guests to bring here.. uh huh, right. Sure. But of course Gallagher controls it! I know we learn more about him during this patch but I still don’t trust him.

So it’s clear that Misha is still a giant mystery. It’s good that us and Welt can see him, but the kid still isn’t perceived by everyone here. That one pepeshi we found alongside March thought we were talking to someone invisible and it appears Micah and Himeko can’t see Misha either.

During that flashback with the siblings as kids, I sorta feel like Sunday is also talking about Robin here. I know we’re chatting about the injured bird they found, but all the caged bird metaphors that Robin has, from her splash art and trailers, is hard to ignore.

Then we learn Gallagher is a History Fictionologist that’s in charge of this new place, which is all fine and well I suppose? Great to know who he really is but chalk it up as yet another person who lied to us. Of course I don’t believe much of anything any non-Express family says but whatever. He’s using fancy words that went over my head.

And now it’s all started to make sense in my head. Inviting different parties that have experience handling stellarons or at least have capable means of preventing a disaster. The Express and the Stellaron Hunters themselves are an obvious and reliable choices when it comes to stellarons, the IPC certainly has impressive power if Aventurine is anything to go off of, and I don’t doubt the real Galaxy Rangers are strong fighters too. I’m sire Black Swan and Sparkle have some tricks up their sleeves too, as would Ever-Flame Mansion.. if they’re alive. Also, the fact that the meme is named “Dormancy”.. Ratio stated in his note to Aventurine that “Dormancy” was the impossible in the dreamscape instead of “Death,” but I figured he just meant it as the word’s true meaning, not referring to the monster itself. That’s clever.

Sir, don’t give me hope like this by saying you’ll fight with us. Do you know how many people are wishing for you to actually be playable?? I’d love it if he was, I’d even take him as a four-star at this point (even though he clearly has five-star energy) but something tells me he isn’t. He gives me Cocolia vibes a little, like he’s certainly an important figure but I would not be shocked if he turns on us somehow and ends up as a boss of some sort either.

Aventurine’s status is truly a mystery that I definitely need to know! Is our beloved gambler okay?? Preferably alive somehow?? It hasn’t been long but I miss seeing/hearing him in the story already! But I do love that the chip he gave is when we first entered our hotel room turned out to be a transmitter. I’m not sure if it’ll reach his place in that momochromatic world he’s in, but perhaps we can use it to call upon Topaz and the rest of the IPC chilling in the hotel lobby? After Topaz noticed one of the broken Aventurine stone pieces lost its shine, I can imagine that our gambler had several spare transmitter chips to hand out to those he can depend on.

Stuff happens in a quick cutscene and we climb up many stairs to encounter another Nameless who has certainly seen better days. He sorta looks like that one white-haired dude on that new light cone that they showed briefly during the 2.2 livestream. And since it isn’t much of a spoiler anymore considering the official HSR yt channel already put out a video on it.. yeah, harmony hat.

Pfftt there’s something so funny to me about hearing Himeko call that fierce monster who has already “killed” several people a mere pet. Show no fear mother!

I absolutely LOVE that this man canonically can’t swear! They can switch all the words they want but I know exactly what Boothill wishes to say and it is hilarious. This quirk alone makes me want to pull for him.

My memory isn’t the greatest, but this shot made it so clear for me to remember that the Forgotten Hall mirror is a sort of Garden of Recollection thing, so having Black Swan appear from it was simply perfect.

The girlies working together once again, oh my~

After the things you personally witnessed sweetie, I’m glad you think so. Gotta love strong women!

Whose?? The only relics that come to mind are the Ashblazing Grand Duke set which I’m fairly certain isn’t what Acheron is referring to. I only thought of it due to the memes about how she killed him and turned him into said relics.

There’s another cutscenes with Acheron and that old dude we heard last patch, but I don’t remember much aside from him reminiscing about his companions once being Galaxy Rangers and more chatter about Nihility. This scene however, with Sunday looking all handsome and holy.. OH BOY. He’s gorgeous with the light shinning on him like that. I feel blessed to have witnessed such beauty.

I never thought of him to actually listen to people’s sins, but it suits him rather well. Doesn’t seem like most people recognize him doing so either? Aside from this one pepeshi of course.. either that, or everyone clearly respects Sunday too much while this person could care less on how to act around him. I was gonna make fun of the merchant for having such trivial sins, but if you’re living a life where that’s all you have to worry about, then sign me up.

The confession isn’t all fun and games though as some disbelief about the Family is brought up. Yet another reason for me not to completely trust this holy hot handsome man yet. Looking forward to continuing more later tonight.

[autumnslance]

Forever in Our Hearts

OK, so Tataru's Grand Endeavor made us all deal with Werlyt stuff again. But the focus of the final leg of the chain, once the excitement of the mechs was done, was finally on the characters it should have always been on: Allie, and her siblings.

Below the cut!

So the first part is pretty rote; get to Terncliff to speak to Gaius as your contact in Werlyt's defense (my characters were not thrilled to be called his "sisters in arms" despite his turning around), and WoL finds a situation happening of course, and so what's a former legatus to do but rope the hero into the shenanigans.

I'm amused this is apparently the first time Gaius finally gets to interact with Nero since ARR, hearing the man was alive and part of the Ironworks only via rumor, and Nero seemed quite happy to leave that the case, until his mecha was the one that was stolen.

Short little rhythm game and a fast-paced mech battle cutscene later (that makes our WoL look like a damn cool pilot, though we don't get to input anything past the initial scene) and we've apprehended the culprit; a man so dedicated to Valens--and just as unhinged in his ideals--that he made himself into a face double for the dead man.

WoL never did meet or see Valens, mind. He was emphatically not our villain, we were there to handle the Weapons and the Quintet's dumb plan.

Anyway, Gaius is disgusted and unimpressed (especially given what he now knows of his once-beloved Emperor Solus) by the raving, and in his usual controlled and understated manner simply knocks the thief out and wraps matters up. Job done, let's get back to Tataru's business.

But the thief's appearance had quite the effect on Avilina and the orphaned boys the man bullied into showing him how to slip into the hanger. Seeing the face of their tormenter again was traumatizing; Gauis was able to gently talk to them, and praise their bravery in speaking up, at the start, but he doesn't want to upset them further. So asks WoL to reassure the children that Valens is truly gone for good.

And this is where the story turns into an actual epilogue for Sorrow of Werlyt.

The boys are relieved, and bring up Allie; she's been caring for them at the orphanage. They don't want her to know about these events--not because they're ashamed of their own actions made in fear, but because they know she'd been abused by Valens too, and don't want to upset her. Instead, they want to find a way to make her dream of a picture of her family come true.

The trouble is, of her family, only Gaius is left. Avilina has a plan though. Duremert, Leofard's grandfather from that leg of this chain, is the painter brought to the lookout. Gaius agrees because the boys want to do this for Allie's sake. Allie is doing it to humor them, though she looks sad standing alone by a seated Gaius.

Avilina then uses the memory core from the Diamond Weapon to create images of Alfonse, Milisandia, Ricon, and Rex standing behind/around their sister and foster father. While Gaius is also surprised, it's Allie that he and the other characters focus on, that the camera lingers on, and Allie that gets the last "Thank you" as the screen darkens out of cutscene mode.

The boys ask if they "made her dream come true." They sure did.

Another interesting aspect of Terncliff is to speak to the elderly man who acts as the town's info NPC, the one you can speak to for a little background of the town.

What can you tell me about Terncliff? Rueful Civilian: Being far to the south of Werlyt, perched atop the cliffs, there was never much reason for anyone to travel here. Being by the sea is all well and good, but we're simply too high above the water to benefit much from it. The gulls and terns don't seem to mind, though. Rueful Civilian: Most of the townsfolk are either Hyuran natives or Au Ra who found their way here over the years. They all lived side by side, peacefully enough, before the Garleans came and ruined everything. Rueful Civilian: After years of living under occupation, the youngsters banded together and kicked out those imperial bastards. But from what I hear, it was a group of orphans raised by a Garlean legatus who played a vital role in winning our independence. Alfonse, I think their leader was called… Rueful Civilian: So many young lives lost… I wish I could give my life to spare one of them, but it's too late now. The only thing any of us can do is make the most of the freedom we've been given.

The story being told is that it was the youths whose foolish but determined actions to thwart Valens's plans for the Weapons were instrumental in freeing Werlyt. We know at the end of the story their names were added to the memorial at the lookout point, but to have them be remembered as the main heroes of a story where WoL really only ever showed up to fight while all the actual story stuff happened to other people at other times and places, actually fits.

That lack of focus, and WoL's only tangential interactions with the Welryt cast--most of the custcenes weren't even Echo, they were "Meanwhiles" in places and around people the WoL never met--is a huge chunk of why Werlyt falls flat for me. Not to mention the unexamined imperialist biases in regards to the relationship of Gaius and his former officers with the people of Terncliff.

The story should have been more about them, and Gaius's part as the focus NPC meant it got mishandled, nor did WoL get to see or interact with the ways the Quintet and Gaius learned and grew and changed in that story, leaving it a bit hollow as a necessary new start. I still feel as a character his return to the cast was a bit wasted to leave him in optional side content and dropping his Shadowhunter plot entirely (he doesn't even consider Ascians when Avilina and the boys swear they saw Valens, and frankly it should have been Gaius's first guess).

But in this little coda to Werlyt's story, WoL gets to have a bit of fun piloting the G-Warrior again, and then the mecha story is followed up by giving Allie the focus that should have been on her and the others the entire time, even if all too briefly.

Returning to Terncliff afterwards, Avilina continues her work with the Ironworks, eschewing a uniform; Gaius reads on a bench at the lookout, and discusses plans for Werlyt's forces and trade with Ala Mhigo.

Allie stands at the rail looking over the water, and expresses a new wish:

Allie: One day, I hope to grow closer with the children─perhaps even become something akin to family. Do you think that could happen?

It's also perhaps worth noting, that though I waited in the daylight hours, I never did see the ghostly children that used to play and worry for their sister. It seems with these updates, they no longer haunt Terncliff.

[katbrando]

untitled [father's day '23]

dinokat (diego brando / self-insert) ✱ 1.7k ✱ SFW synopsis: for father's day, diego's beloved bearded dragon expresses his appreciation with a silly card. sappy as fuck. [ read on ao3 instead ]

“What’s this, then?” 

Diego enters the living room, his accent giving upward inflection to the question he punctuates with a raised eyebrow. In his grasp he holds a navy blue envelope, not yet open as he waves it around in front of his face.

His girlfriend is lounging on the couch, Switch in hand, engaged in the ever so riveting process of leveling out the pair’s shared island in Animal Crossing. Even without looking at him, she’s all too aware of what exactly he’s prying about. She pauses the game, taking a quick second to make a frail attempt at steeling herself, and then lifts her gaze.

The mere sight of Diego standing there with one hand on his hip and the other still brandishing the mysterious envelope is enough for her to nearly crack, but she does surprisingly well in mirroring his look of confusion. It’s a look that’s made even more adorable by the state of his haphazard ponytail and shiny, freshly-washed skin.

“Huh? What’s that?”

Diego immediately narrows his eyes and lifts his chin in suspicion. Kat’s resolve cracks just for a split second, but he never misses a beat. The tell-tale curl at the corners of her lips tells him all he needs to know.

“I know your handwriting, I’m not daft.”

Well, shit, maybe she should have thought about that. All capitals, blocky and small, that’s her signature, and even though “dad” is a word she’d scarcely use, Diego most certainly isn’t daft.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She shrugs, returning to the console in her hands and leaning farther back against the couch. “Maybe you should open it.”

When he clicks his tongue she bites back a giggle; his attitude remains as he digs one claw into the loose seal, gradually ripping until it’s fully open. Kat watches out of the corner of her eye, noting the way he carefully places the now useless envelope on the kitchen counter, bottom lip slightly jutted out as his eyes scan the front of the card.

“Dad, you toad-ally rock.” He recites, tone deadpan. He’s likely enjoying the cartoonish frog on the front, donning sunglasses and perched on a pile of pond rocks, but there’s no way he’s going to let on that easily.

Kat waits for him to continue, but he’s studying the front of the card as if it’s some sort of ancient scripture. Unless he’s the one providing, it’s rare he’ll allow himself to indulge in gifts like this, especially when they strike such a sensitive spot for him. It’s no secret, it hasn’t been for months now; Diego’s relationship with his own father is practically nonexistent, but he holds a deep resentment for the man.

“Who’s it from?” She prompts, seeing as he isn’t moving forward in the investigation on his own.

“Clearly you,” Diego scoffs.

“But you’re not my dad.” She squints at him, finally succumbing to a gentle smile. “Open it up.”

Begrudgingly, he obeys. The inside holds a much less humorous note, one that’s more heartfelt. A single (admittedly smudged) footprint belonging to Anguirus, his beloved bearded dragon, next to a carefully written “thanks for being the best lizard dad ever”. Diego’s resolve cracks, his expression softening whether he knows it or not.

“Anguirus can’t write on his own, y’know.” Kat gestures to the tank in the corner of the room, where the very same lizard is currently sleeping under his heat lamp. “He asked me for help.”

“I wasn’t aware you could speak lizard,” Diego regards her with an expression somewhere stuck between fondness and defeat.

“I’ve been talking to you for over a year now, haven’t I?” Kat allows a smirk to tug at her lips as soon as Diego snorts in response.

“Right, well,” Diego pauses, taking a long look at the card and then carefully shutting it. He averts his stare, settling it on Anguirus. “I appreciate his gesture, and your translation work.”

She has to choose her next words carefully. His current state is vulnerable; like this he’s much easier to irritate and more prone to explosions if he feels endangered. And often the very danger he perceives can come from genuine love he isn’t prepared to accept.

“He really does love you, y’know.” Diego doesn’t recoil, doesn’t even attempt to make a joke in response, so it’s clear she hasn’t overstepped any boundaries. “I’ve never seen a beardie scurry so quickly towards their owner, not the way he does it with you.”

“I watched him hatch, it makes sense he’d be attached to me.”

“That’s not the only reason why.” Kat softly laughs. “You chose him, and you care for him like a child every single day. You have to know how special that is.”

Silence settles in the room, thick but oddly peaceful. Diego swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing with the force of him clearly trying to fight his emotions.

“Diego,” she sing-songs, locking eyes with him as soon as he turns his head to face her, “c’mere.” She pats the space next to her, places her Switch on the coffee table.

Never one to deny her requests, Diego crosses the room, sitting next to her, card still held firmly in his hand. It’s odd to see him this quiet, even as she shifts closer and brushes his bangs back from his face, he says nothing. 

“I’m so proud of you, genuinely,” she whispers, squeezing his shoulder. “No joke. You don’t have to say anything, I just need you to know that.”

“You didn’t need to do this,” he counters, gesturing towards the gift in his hand, and her heart sinks for just a second. “Father’s Day is just an excuse for retailers to sell cards and gifts.”

“That card was like… two dollars.”

“Two dollars you could have spent on something else for yourself.”

“Nope, this was important to me.” Diego’s free hand is warm in hers, accepting her grasp without qualm despite the walls he’s currently sealed himself within. “You’re important to me. And Anguirus. Lucy, too.”

At the mention of his goddaughter, Diego’s gaze snaps to meet hers. There’s a world of emotion in those beautiful baby blues; she’s one of his biggest weaknesses, after all. Anything in his power, he would do it as long as it’d make her happy.

“Gyro is her father, the bloody oaf.”

She waves off his deflection, holds back a laugh. “Of course, he always will be, and he does an amazing job with her. But you fill the role of godfather, Dee. Father is literally in that title.”

What could he possibly counter with? Nothing. So now’s the time for the final emotional blow.

“And you know what? Your father could only ever dream of being the caregiver that you are.”

At this, Diego’s lips part in what is likely an attempt at words, but he fails. His expression is reeling, genuinely astonished. Bringing up his father is risky, and Kat’s heart thumps anxiously in her chest as she awaits a response. 

“Darling…” An exasperated sigh tumbles from his lips, one that’s more directed at himself than her. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.” Diego instantly leans into her touch when she cups his cheek, and she knows in her heart that, without the heavy fear of vulnerability, he’d be showering her with words of appreciation. She can see it, anyway.

“There’s just one problem with that card,” he chaffs.

Great, what did she do now? Anxiety only gets the chance to plague her for a few seconds before he senses it, sitting up straight again and giving her a reassuring smile. A silent clue that no matter what his next words are, it’s all in good fun.

“Any son of mine would know that a toad,” Diego gestures towards the folded card, “is an amphibian, not a reptile.”

“Alright, mister herpetologist.” She gives a sarcastic jab to his waist, one that earns her a flurry of laughter. 

Diego’s eyes eventually settle on the tank in the corner of the room again. “S’pose I can forgive it. He is perfect, after all.”

“Well, he didn’t pick it out anyway.” Kat shrugs, an apologetic hand resting on Diego’s knee. “That was all me.”

“And I love it.” Sincerity fills Diego’s tone, his voice lowers even though it’s just them and their beloved lizard in the room and no one else would be privy to his words anyway.

“Really?”

“Really,” Diego confirms, pressing a kiss to her cheek that lingers for a few seconds. His voice is softer still when he brings his lips closer to her ear. “Thank you.”

And with that, her entire body fills with a warmth that only Diego is capable of arousing; moments like this are even rarer than the days where he skips his coffee, misses the sunrise, or forgets one of his specific skincare steps. Typically he doesn’t need to say the words, his actions will prove it enough, but hearing them still feels like a gift. 

“Of course.” Kat’s head turns for easier access to his cheek, returning his gesture before giving his thigh a couple of light pats. “Let’s check if your special boy is awake.”

“He better be.” Diego stands before she gets a chance, moving quicker than necessary to Anguirus’ tank and leaning down to get a better view. “It’d be quite rude if he thought a card was enough.”

Feeling decently successful, Kat settles back against the couch again and lovingly observes her boyfriend gently reach inside to carefully wake his lizard. For a man who’s generally so brash, his entire being shifts to something so much more careful and affectionate as soon as he’s around the ones he loves the most. 

It’s a joy to see him like this, placing Anguirus in his lap and cooing at him, almost as if nothing exists in this world outside of the two of them. But when he glances back up and makes eye contact with Kat, it’s clear; when he carefully lifts one of Anguirus’ cute little hands and waves it in her direction, she realizes that she’s lucky enough to be part of that world too.

a/n: lucy belongs to @/leozeppeli (i don't wanna be annoying and tag LOL) and i couldn't help but mention her in here 🥺

[maningrey0204]

I've been really getting a kick out of doing uQuizzes lately, and wanted to archive my results somewhere. answers in purple denote Emiya Alter-esque responses. when I took these quizzes, I also retook them to fill out the results as if he would be filling out the quiz (yes, like an RP profile lol), and found the results to be quite striking.

what do you wish you could say?

"everyone else is more important than me.": you're deathly afraid of being selfish. you're also deathly afraid of being forgotten. all you want is to be somebody's favorite person, but that feels like a far off dream. you try and make yourself interesting so that people stick around you. it doesn't feel like that's working. you want to hang out more with your friends, but it seems like they're always busy or that they have better friends than you.

"i'm hurting and help is beyond me.": there's something going on with you mentally. you haven't told anyone because you don't want to drag them down with you. it kills you on the daily and you feel like you're falling apart, however, nobody's noticed. you feel like you should be thankful for that, but it just hurts more. you feel selfish and weak for wanting help, yet something deep and knotted beneath your diaphragm is screaming to let go of the pain and let someone else handle it for awhile. once you're stripped clean, what's at your core?

rippling sunset: you’re the nicest person i’ll ever meet, probably. with an undying passion to protect those who can’t protect themselves, you’re energetic and bubbly to a fault. it’s cute, watching you run around trying to tie up loose ends. i feel bad for you — out of everyone you know, you probably have some of the deepest trauma, more than anyone’s aware of. this isn’t something that you want attention for at all, and you’d really just rather forget it exists at all… even then, it seems like you can never escape it. i wish you a pleasant rest of your life, full of rippling sunsets and free of prying eyes.

animal intuition: loyalty is the saint you pray to. if you ever were stabbed in the back by your beloved, you'd probably apologize. to your enemies, you're fierce. to your allies, even fiercer. you cultivate a thick inner circle built on promises and devotion, fit only for the best of the best. it's impossible for most to even begin to dissect the type of person you are, owing to your unbreakable emotional walls and confusing philosophies. dream careers? body guard, movie star, unwitting pawn. don't let people get the best of that loyalty. What kind of mark do you leave?

In Love: You're like the romantic interest of all time! You make people fall in love with you- you're just that charming! You've got a way of going about life to where people can't help but stare and admire. You have a sparkle in your eye and a face that beams, and wherever you go, someone will definitely want to follow. You like to live life like a protagonist, but you're not stupidly pretentious about it. You're very well rounded and you don't like arguing unless it's something you REALLY have a passion for. Maybe a bit super giggly from time to time, your sense of humor is sweet and makes everyone laugh. You've got everyone wrapped around your finger- including me!

Understood: You're a good friend. A shoulder to lean on but you're no pushover; you have a way of making people feel comfortable and safe. You know what it's like to be in pain, and therefore painlessness is what you wish for everyone else. You're not a martyr though, you won't harm yourself trying to play therapist for a friend- you're just a good listener and someone who makes others feel like they've known you for the longest time, that you know exactly what to say and how to say it. You're like a warm coffee shop, an attentive teacher, someone who may not have it all figured out yourself but you're willing to sit and chat for a while, and make someone feel known and loved. You're the best kind of friend someone could have! what jewel are your bones made of?

PEARL: you are a bit of an open wound. ⍜ the pain won’t kill you like you think it will, let yourself bear it and you’ll find you can ⍜ you might even find that the world is a lot more than your oyster. ⍜ reticent (unwillingly so), passive, introverted ⍜ resilient, generative, adaptable ⍜ you hold the ability to create and recreate the world around yourself ONYX: reserved (by choice), decisive, self-sure and self-contained, selective, resolved, close-minded, intuitive, deliberate ⍚ opaque - my secrets are not for you ⍚ scrying - i can see more than you know ⍚ sharp - i know where to cut

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

{Of Pens and Paper}- Blue Lions Edition

Prologue: Here Next: Golden Deer -coming soon-

Dimitri

My Beloved,

I know my struggle with words has caused many misunderstandings between us. If not on your side, then on mine. For once I would like the chance to collect my thoughts and share them with you. I have watched the sun rise and set many times, each alone. Yet for a short period the pain of solitude did not grasp my heart entirely. I speak of our days as students, where I had something to look forward to each coming day: you.

For a time, that brief respite was ripped away. Your face had joined the many I would watch the sun rise with, and that would deny me rest when it set. I have always been a husk of a man, yet your face is one I would rather die than see corrupted. To see meet again, yet as the monster I have become--the goddess has a cruel sense of humor. I could not bring myself to appreciate her gift in the beginning. Not as the broken man I was, and still am in a way.

Which is why I write to tell you this. I appreciate you, your presence in my life, the friend you are to our allies, and the strength you give to my homeland. You always have seen the good in people, in the world…even in someone like me.

You are as beautiful as the day I lost you, and not one moment passes where I do not thank the gods for returning you to my side. Above all, I am thankful that you allow me to love you. 

Forever yours,

Dimitri

A letter expressing your importance in their life

Dedue

(Y/N),

Rest well. You have earned this celebration just as we all have. Should you awaken before I return, there are extra blankets stored in the chest near the fire place. I considered returning you to your room, but Manuela instructed for you to remain under supervision until your condition stabilizes. I hope awaking in my room was not too big a surprise. If so then I apologize.

I will return in the evening with dinner. Hopefully you will be awake at the time. Feel free to relax anywhere you would like or light the fireplace for warmth. As stated, you did well in our last battle. Professor Byleth said there would be a toast in your honor tonight, and I am proud. Proud to watch you grow, and to call myself your partner.

Tonight's dinner is porridge with fruit. I will prepare it myself, so please be ready to eat.

Regards,

Dedue

A letter of congratulations

Felix

(Y/N),

I would say this in person, but you likely don't want to see me right now. I also would normally wait for you to stop being so childish, though this treatment is mostly my fault. I'm not that bone-headed to overlook our past. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I wish I never acted the way I did towards you. I was in the wrong to be rude when we first met, and my stupid pride caused this annoying 'rivalry,' if you could even call it that.

It seems everything I do regarding you is always one-sided, fighting included.

This isn't coming out the way that I wanted, but I'm on my last piece of paper and nearly out of ink. I can't speak nonsense like Sylvain, or woo you with lies. I would sooner die, honestly. I didn't choose to fall in love with you, it just happened somehow. I want to know if you love me too.

If you don't come find me by tonight then I'm coming to you. I won't leave without an answer this time.

-Felix

A letter containing an important confession

Sylvain

My Love,

Surprised? Didn't think I was one for penmanship, did you? I figure most of my attempts to flirt don't work out well, so why not try something new? Feel free to show this off to everyone. Matter of fact, I expect you to, otherwise I will take great offense. After all, we're partners now. It's not fair if you don't brag about me like I do you.

Man, it feels surreal writing this. Last week I was blubbering to Ingrid about you over a pint, and yesterday you beat me to the punch and confessed. I was so tired of fighting it-my feelings, I mean. I knew the way I thought about you was special. For a long time, actually. I wanted us to stay friends, after all, you deserve someone way better than me. So hearing those words…yeah. I was right, this is hard. All I can say is that it felt like someone said I would get to eat my favorite foods every day. Not in a glutton way, but like being told you'll have some type of promised happiness for life.

Hopefully you can make sense of what I just said. If not? Well, I'll let my actions do the talking next time.

Sincerely,

Sylvain. Aka. Your fiancé  (I saw that eyeroll)

A letter retelling of your first 'I love you'

Ashe

My flower,

I hope this letter finds you well. If not, then I hope you are at least taking care of yourself. Remember to drink plenty of water and rest! I may not be there to nag you myself, but may my words at least guilt you somewhat.

Yes, I am playing 'dirty,' as you like to call it. I miss you dearly, and want you home in one piece.

Home, for me, is with you. It has been ever since we first met. At the time I didn't know it, but I firmly believe the goddess decides our fated long before we are born. The first time you held my hand, something told me deep down that I would follow you wherever you go. I was excited and scared, because at the time becoming a knight was my dream. I knight lived for their king.

I still remember how your hand felt that day. I remember your gentle grasp and how sweaty I was in comparison. It took time, but I learned that being a knight means protecting the people you care about. You serve the king, but you serve to protect your loved ones. The day you held my hand, I knew you would be important.

But the day I realized this, is the day I realized I love you. So please, bring back my home safely.

With love,

Ashe

A letter reminiscing of when they fell in love

Annette

Dearest (Y/N),

Thank you for yesterday! I don't know if I could have taught that class without your help. I know that we're expected to teach our specialties to the new soldiers, but that was way too nerve wracking. The last time I set foot in that classroom was as a student, so who's bright idea was it to have me teach reason lessons?!

I could understand if we had no one else, but Professor Manuela (should we start calling her only as Manuela? It feels rude…) is available! At least give me some time to prepare, you know? I definitely was not prepared to give demonstrations…

You, on the other hand, we're amazing! I would think you had been teaching for years if not for our current situation. I really admire your ability to adapt to change. If it's no bother, I hope you can teach me too? Not in reason but in being more confident!

I know you saw it. My father…he was watching. I don't think he knows that I know who he is. Maybe with your help, I might be able to confront him about it. Being with you makes me want to better myself, and right now? You're my family and my determination to see this war through.

Love,

Annette

A letter thanking you for your help

Mercedes

Darling,

Happy Birthday! I hope you don't mine me slipping in a surprise on this special day. It's very rare that we have a moment of respite, but it would feel wrong letting this day go by without celebrating. I do not know if our paths will cross during our duties, but please pen in some time for me later this evening, yes?

I am so happy that you are here with us - with me. Today we celebrate the gift that is yourself. I have prepared a special meal for us to share later. I won't divulge the surprise, but know that it is something you enjoy greatly! I can hear your thought now, 'but I enjoy everything Mercie makes for me,' hehe. Today you deserve a special treat, my darling.

I am greatly looking forward to our time together. For now, please enjoy the fruits I have left with this letter. Know that I am thinking of you on this day, and that our friends love you. Perhaps not as much as I do, but I believe that is acceptable.

Wishing you the happiest of days,

Mercedes

A letter for your birthday

Ingrid

(Y/N),

I could not help but notice the oversized basket on my doorstep this morning. At first I thought Sylvain was playing a prank, or that Mercedes had baked too much bread. Yet color me surprised when your name was written on the tag.

What did you do? More specifically, what did you break? No gift comes without consequence when it comes to you. Fresh pastries don't come out of thin air and I doubt you have room in your schedule to be baking. If you do then perhaps Seteth has lost his touch in wrangling slackers.

I'm kidding. I just wanted to thank you for the gift. I was surprised to say the least. We're not necessarily in the position to get good-tasting food these days, and it was nice to eat something other than seared mutton. I tried to keep my feelings to myself, but nothing gets by you, huh?

I would thank you in person if I could, but it looks like I'm training the Pegasus Knight recruits today. I also have patrol, which means I likely won't be free until you're long asleep. 

Warm Regards,

Ingrid G.

[aminiatureworld]

Needled Words

Characters: Childe, fm!reader

Word Count: 1,691

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: When does a joke go too far, when is a jab more than just friendly? Where does the line blur and where does it stop?

In which Childe’s teasing becomes too much for the reader

Author’s Note: For some reason this prompt made me think of Nancy Mitford, mostly because she was known also for being a slightly mean-spirited teaser. Ah Childe, my beloved. Communication in a relationship is key y’all.

Childe

You knew that Childe was only joking. After all, didn’t he read his letters to you? Brimming with little asides and jokes.

“Dear Tonia, I would say I was happy to get your letter, if only it was sopping wet. Did you leave it out in the snow again? I swear, if you were in the illustrious Tsaritsa’s army, you’d probably end up attacking your own regiment, and then I’d be forced to execute you for treason!” No one could mistake such an opening for anything except a slightly barbed bit of teasing.

Nor were the younger one’s exempt. Teucer’s antics had resulted in quite a bit of teasing. “Teucer, I think the Mr. Cyclopses have better survival instincts” and “I didn’t take you for someone who spent other people’s money!” This latter statement was made after Teucer spied the hand-crafted, very expensive, fireworks that were sold in Liyue. Of course, Childe had bought him the fireworks, and of course he never begrudged doing things for you when he teased you either. Still, you somehow felt as if things were different when directed at you.

Not that they really were. It wasn’t so much that you were picking up a different tone, it was more that, unlike Childe’s siblings and other friends, such as Zhongli, who was subjected to endless old man jokes, you couldn’t seem to take them well. When he joked about how many times you ran into the countertop you began to wonder if you truly had something wrong with your hand-eye coordination; when he said you were the laziest person, he’d ever met you wondered if you weren’t sleeping in too late; when he teased that he had to be your personal babysitter you wondered if you were truly good enough to be an adventurer. It wasn’t Childe’s fault, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Of course, you could tell him, could finally let it all out and stop pretending that it wasn’t painful to try and keep all your emotion sunder wraps. But you couldn’t help but feel as if that would in some ways disappoint him. He was a Harbinger, tough, aloof. No words could ever hurt Childe, of that, you were sure. So how would he take it, the knowledge that his part was all too liable to shatter at every poke and prod? You couldn’t blame him if he turned out to be ashamed.

So, you kept it to yourself, smiled through all the jabs and teases. It didn’t matter, it really didn’t. You were fine! Or if you, weren’t it wasn’t worth it trying to change anything. You didn’t want to lose Childe, didn’t want to see the change when he went to say something before stopping, looking at you’re with barely concealed disappointment. Childe lived with his emotions to the forefront after all. And you wouldn’t ask him to change something you ultimately loved about him.

Thus, the days continued on, as did the teasing and the feigned smiles. Some days it was worth it, some days you were left with nothing but happiness bubbling up inside, the love that humans reserved for a very few number of friends and lovers. Yet those days were often days with minimal teasing, and you couldn’t help but notice the layer of anxiety that pressed on your love the days that were filled with Childe’s jabs. Lying in bed, limbs tangled with his, you stared up at the ceiling, wondering what you should do. You felt trapped, by your emotions, by your pride, by Childe’s words. They were all encircling you, and you could do nothing to defend yourself. You tried to keep the tears to a minimum; after all your partner slept so little already.

You didn’t know when the subtle shift happened, when it all became too much to handle. Maybe it was after Childe’s recent trip to Snezhnaya, where, surrounded by Harbingers who saw their coworkers as enemies rather than allies, he had sharpened his wit even more so than before. If his earlier teasing was unfocused, general quips, then his current ones struck quite closer to home.

“Wow my dear I didn’t peg you for a Treasure Hoarder, I don’t think that arrow could hit anyone if it tried!”

“I think you truly have the makings of someone who gets scammed by a Mondstadtian duke, or perhaps a Fontaine prince who has lost all his mora in a flood. Remind me to never go shopping with you.”

“Honestly, I think if you ran into the Electro Archon, she’d think your vision was fake. It’d be an easy way out.”

The whiplash of Childe’s proclamations of “princess” mingled with sentences that, had they been geared at anyone else, would surely be insults was shocking, and you found yourself less and less able to keep these two aspects of your partner compatible in your mind. Even less did you find the ability to simply brush it off.

You didn’t know why it was a comment about your socks that finally caused you to break. Really, it was too juvenile.

Laundry in your shared apartment was often seen as a punishment, the chore that each of you pushed onto the other. As such there was often a pile of laundry in the laundry basket, and incredibly slim pickings in your drawers. That being the case you often found yourself wearing mismatched socks. Perhaps it was a little odd, or a little childish, but it was certainly preferrable to spending all day at the river scrubbing your hands red. Who cared anyways? No one would notice such a small thing, especially once you had put your boots on.

However, nothing could get past Childe’s wicked sense of humor, and apparently your clothing choices were prime fodder for him.

“Nice socks.”

“Oh, thanks,” you replied, already having a sense of where it was going. The smirk that played across your partner’s face was full of mischief, and usually that only led to one place.

“I think that you’ll be quite the icon among toddlers all throughout Liyue. People will be asking you if you’re lost all day, or maybe they’ll ask you how it feels like to be nine.”

It was really a silly comment to get so upset over, such a small, insignificant thing to cry over. Yet there you were, standing in the kitchen, frozen in horror as your vision became fuzzy with tears. Unsure about any other course of action you buried your face in your hands and prayed Childe wouldn’t think about what you were doing.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

You could hear the panic and concern mingling in Childe’s voice. Almost immediately a warm hand was on your shoulder, and you were suddenly flooded with the presence of the person you loved so much, the person you were now crying about. You could tell Childe was saying something, was whispering soft words of comfort, but in the moment your thoughts felt all too loud. Overwhelmed by the situation you turned into your partner’s shoulder and let yourself cry.

Eventually sensing you had lost all your tears Childe drew back slightly.

“Would you like a glass of water?”

“Yes please,” you replied, voice still small. Nodding Childe moved towards the kitchen. Within a few moments he was back, glass in hand.

“Was it the teasing?” He asked as you drank. Whatever you had to say about your partner, he certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Yes,” you mumbled, nodding for affect.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I had gone too far. I promise I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“But Childe, it, it’s not just this time.”

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, voice flooding through with concern once more.

“It’s, I’m sorry, it’s just that, it’s all the time. Not all the time, every time you tease me. It’s not your fault! Of course, it’s not, it’s my fault. I don’t know, I just, it really hurts sometimes, all the time? I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry.”

Childe’s expression was one of abject horror. Taking your hand, he rubbed small circles on the top with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much it was affecting you. I should have been more careful.”

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to, I don’t know, I know you tease everyone, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t making me uncomfortable.” Childe’s voice seemed just as hurried as yours. “It makes me more uncomfortable to think that you’ve been burying this the whole time. You’re damn good at hiding things you know. But this isn’t a war or something, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling, for whatever reason. Better if you tell me, y’know?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Doesn’t look good on you, or sound good. I’d rather hear you happy.” Childe leaned in to press a soft kiss against your forehead. “I love you, okay? You mean more to me than a little bit of teasing.”

“You don’t think I’m being weak?” You managed to make out as your anxiety lessened its grip on you.

“Weak? Girlie you’re one of the strongest people I know! Weak my ass. If you wanted to rule the world you could give me a run for my money. Of course, I’d win though. I mean, I would be there right with you.”

“I know you would,” you smiled, despite yourself.

You knew that Childe probably would still retain the odd sense of humor and levity he already had. Old habits die hard and all that. Still, you had managed to say what had been haunting you all this time and, more than that, you had been assured that you were good enough, strong enough. Those few words, no matter how short, meant the world to you.

[mistymymoon]

What Colour Character Are You?

I was tagged by @noirapocalypto and @twistedpixie77 to do this quiz for my OC’s, so I did it for my beloved Nettie (but might do it later for my new baby Allie too). Very much enjoyed taking it, so thank you for tagging me!

photo credit to @86maylin

Red Character 

Bolding what strongly applies to her, and striking through the stuff that doesn’t! Leaving it if it’s a sometimes situation!

Red characters tend to be both quiet and observant as well as loud and dramatic. They are often brash and impulsive, and tend to act on instinct rather than planning ahead. They are quite self-sacrificing, often veering into self-destructive, and they push themselves to their limits trying to succeed. They tend to be stubborn, and it might take a lot to change their mind. They have a hard time expressing their feelings, and may come off as either emotionless, self-absorbed, or perpetually angry.

They don’t have a ton of friends, and when they do, it’s often by circumstance rather than choice (although they grow to fiercely love their friends). They are not usually innately good at fitting into social situations, and can be awkward and out of place in them. They can come off as unhumorous because of how sincere and honest they tend to be, but tend to just have a dryer, sarcastic sense of humor. They do often think of others first, but their motivations for it might not be entirely selfless. 

They usually have a hard time conceivably lying, and are quite earnest without meaning to be. They put their full effort into what they do, and push themselves to improve at all costs. They get easily defensive, and feel like they have to prove themselves to earn anyone’s respect. They have a strong sense of internal morality and high standards for themselves. They also hold others to their internal high standards, which can cause a lot of conflict if not worked out. 

They tend to have bad relationships with their parental figures, who were usually either absent or abusive, and contributed to their toxic view of themselves. 

At their core, red characters want to be loved and accepted, but have often been denied it, leading them to build up lots of defenses. Others need to be patient with them and give them a safe space to be themselves as they open up and begin to flourish.

Tagging (with no pressure!): @raciflaulaine​ , @clusterfxckedbysirens​ , @heyitslizohwhat​ , @wanderingaldecaldo​ , and anyone else who wants to do it!

[undercoverangell]

hello stranger whom i've never spoken to before!! let me ask you this- who are your favorite FH parents?? and beyond that, what do you think their backstories are like?? thanks for humoring an unfamiliar stranger who you don't know like me <3

OKAY OKAY UH,

obviously, pok is my number one! hes my man! just a guy! he loves his wife, he loves his son, everything he has ever done and will ever do is out of love for them. I would unpack his whole backstory, however that'd take forever!! He's got a single father, 3 siblings (2 older brothers and a younger sister) and would do just about anything for money in college! Horrendous adhd, pansexual. sklonda is also number one but thats a rant ill explore later <33

number two, is also pok gukgak! he is--- ok i lied its gilear. honestly we as a society do not talk about gilear and the bullshit sandralynn put that man through AND THEN WE BLAME HIM??? gilear has literally always been the second pick (despite the fact that he was probably fine as hell in his youth shoutout hot gilear <33) , literally can we talk abt how sandralynn only asked him to fuck AFTER SHE BROKE UP W JAWBONE?? and she was messing around w gorthalax when they were dating presumably!! what the fuck girl!! I can honestly see gilear as a pretty confident young man, with a nice stable government job maybe some more hair and like. he gives me salutatorian energy. i think thatd add even more hurt that like he genuinely has always been close to first, but never fully there. I can see him doing something geeky as hell like chess club back in the day but after the divorce things went downhill,

also, he still loves fig?? even after all that. I think people rlly beat him up for yelling at her but. fig was literally refusing to call him her dad and like. actively treating him like shit. every parent makes mistakes and i think we shouldn't jump to demonizing him for lashing out sometimes when things get hard. should he have called a "fucking demon"? no. had fig just pretended to be his very recently divorced ex wife and try and skip school very first day?? yes. also he calls her "dearest daughter" in s2 a lot and that makes me very happy

sklonda luv her my little girlboss my beloved my most cherished prized woman *heart locket opens w her picture in it* how i love her she treats riz so well she handles him so well she is a trans ally she is an adaine ally she loves her asexual son she loves her late horny husband she loves her 8 foot tall boyfriend and she hates angus aderbant or whatever the fuck that guys name is. no losses, all wins.

ok ok jawbone isnt a parent technically but hes also on here. i love him. hes lived a wild life and i think hes pansexual poly. i love him. maybe had a fling w pok in his youth. good for him. what a boyboss.

[madamegemknight]

Miscellaneous thoughts about CGI MOTU (in no particular order)

Beware spoilers under the cut!

I really liked the way they recontextualized some of the pieces of previous continuities! “Modulok” being a game with non-standard use of arms and legs was a really clever way of calling back to the character, and I thought it was neat that Colossor was a creature the original Orko defeated.

I thought that from a meta perspective it was funny that Cringer and Duncan had pretty much switched personalities, with Cringer being the battle-ready, mature Dad Friend™ and Duncan being the walking ball of anxiety. I dunno if that was intentional or not, but I still got a chuckle out of it.

Krass my beloved. I’ve always liked Ram Man as a character, but he’s never been in my list of favorites until now. Ram Ma’am is just such a fun character and I’ll probably be able to properly explain why I enjoy her so much after I’ve thought about it for a while but for now all I can say is Ram Ma’am good please give me more.

I’m glad that there were 10 episodes for the first season instead of 5 like Revelation - I liked Revelation, but having such a short amount of time to move your plot forward means that character moments and plot twists can’t really be touched upon as much. Those extra 5 episodes really helped me feel more connected with the characters, even if it still felt like a few moments were rushed.

Where’s Marlena. Mattel where is Marlena. What did you do with my astronaut mom Mattel. Mattel she better be in the next season.

I really hope we get to know more about King Grayskull and his allies  - a couple things have been mentioned, but nothing major, and given how we literally have a character who knew the guy (or a legacy recording of the character, at least) it would be neat to have a flashback episode like we had in the 200X series.

The transformation sequences for Evil-Lyn, Trapjaw, and Beastman were absolutely terrifying and I have no idea how they were allowed in this show for children. Given how Tuvar and Baddrah both show up I am very terrified at the thought of their potential transformation sequence. Mattel please don’t scare the small children and also me.

YES WE’RE FINALLY TOUCHING ON ETERNOS NOT BEING A PICTURE PERFECT KINGDOM AND HAVING LEGITIMATE FLAWS I AM HYPED.

Ork-0 my beloved but also HOLY FLIP there is so much to his character and I feel like they’ve barely scratched the surface. What was the original Orko like, given how the Eldress said he never had a “true heart?” Is it legitimately just a legacy recording scenario or was there soul magic involved because it seemed like he was doing magic in the last episode (the clothes summoning and the teleportation)? Why did he have a legacy recording in the first place? Are we going to get a flashback episode for how the original helped all the Trollans ascend and what happened to him?

SPEAKING OF TROLLA if I had a nickel for every time a He-Man series released in 2021 had a sublot where the characters go to Trolla and realize there’s nobody there I would have two nickels and I would have preferred it to be 0 nickels thank you very much. What does ascending mean? Are they dead? Are they in another dimension? Why was this continuity’s Trolla in Eternia? Are we ever going to see any Trollans?

Overall I really liked it! It’s not one of my favorite series, but it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Outside of one or two cases where a joke didn’t click, the humor was really spot on and I like the overarching story they’re going for. The characters are all really great, even if it is still a little weird seeing them so drastically different, and I’m excited to see where the show goes from here (and hopefully we’ll get to see more Trollans please Mattel I just want to see them again).

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik

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Synopsis:

The specter of graduation looms large as Naomi Novik’s groundbreaking, New York Times bestselling trilogy continues in the stunning sequel to A Deadly Education. In Wisdom, Shelter. That’s the official motto of the Scholomance. I suppose you could even argue that it’s true—only the wisdom is hard to come by, so the shelter’s rather scant. Our beloved school does its best to devour all its students—but now that I’ve reached my senior year and have actually won myself a handful of allies, it’s suddenly developed a very particular craving for me. And even if I somehow make it through the endless waves of maleficaria that it keeps throwing at me in between grueling homework assignments, I haven’t any idea how my allies and I are going to make it through the graduation hall alive. Unless, of course, I finally accept my foretold destiny of dark sorcery and destruction. That would certainly let me sail straight out of here. The course of wisdom, surely. But I’m not giving in—not to the mals, not to fate, and especially not to the Scholomance. I’m going to get myself and my friends out of this hideous place for good—even if it’s the last thing I do. With keen insight and mordant humor, Novik reminds us that sometimes it is not enough to rewrite the rules—sometimes, you need to toss out the entire rulebook. The magic of the Scholomance trilogy will continue in 2022

My Review:

★★★★★

I jumped right into this one immediately after finishing the first so they've blurred together a little bit, but I can say for sure that I absolutely loved it.

The writing style is gorgeous and I love El. She has the best sarcasm and knee-jerk angry reactions to things. Her default state is basically seething with fury. And having her as a narrator and seeing the Scholomance through her eyes made me love it so much more. She has such a vivid personality and is basically a force of nature that makes it impossible to look away from her.

I loved seeing El grow through the story as she learned how to be herself when not alone all the time, how to depend on (and like, and even care about) other people. I also love the incredibly wide variety of terrible monsters that Naomi Novik has dreamed up. It's impressive, really, in a horrifying sort of way.

I saw the twist at the end coming from a ways off (really it was inevitable) but it still got me and that cliffhanger was terrible! I can't believe I have to wait a year for the conclusion lol.

As with the first book, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I started, and I've spent rather a lot of time since finishing it dreaming up potential ways it could continue. Honestly I've got no clue where the story is going next but I will be happy to be along for the ride.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine, Del Rey for providing an e-arc for review.

[popculturebuffet]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor. 

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm. 

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle. 

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article.  It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it. 

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios. 

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film. 

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird  made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property. 

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother. 

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land. 

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself. 

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself. 

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms. 

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin. 

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him. 

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes. 

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together. 

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder. 

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics. 

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home. 

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out. 

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant. 

The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.  

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t,  So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining. 

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s  mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here. 

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge. 

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go. 

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch. 

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work. 

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole.  The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out. 

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level. 

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as  barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington. 

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh. 

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film? 

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow. 

[asterian]

Back to you (Captain Rex x reader) (Rebels)

Summary: In a mission to recover information about locations for a possible base, You and the Ghost crew are sent to Seelos to find a potential new ally, but you never expected it to be him.

Words: 1, 672

A/n: Hi, thanks for reading my trash. I felt like my husband needed some love so here we are. Also this happens in Rebels s2e2 "The lost commanders" and reader has Kanan's age.

Being part of the Ghost crew involved to be constantly on the move, always hiding and running from the Empire but it gave you the opportunity to help others and that made you feel like you were doing something good with your life, plus they had become your family.

After realizing you were part of a larger rebellion against the Empire and with the lost of the Phoenix home in Lothal, it was imperative to find a base where to hide. That's how you and the Spectres ended up in the outer rim searching for Ahsoka's friend. 

The flight was boring with nothing to look at but plain desert everywhere, until the tactical droid detected something nearby, an old republic modified AT-TE walker.

After landing Kanan told you to stay on the ship and fix the communications while the rest of the team went to investigate. 

You started to work in the ship but there was something stuck in your head, a number you knew, the same number the tactical droid repeated non-stop, the same number that leaded you here, "7567". Could it be… could it be him?

The sound of blasters woke you from your thoughts and quickly you rushed outside the little ship hoping your friends weren't in trouble but after seeing they were fine you stared at the three men in the tank and froze instantly when you caught a familiar gaze.

If you had your suspicions about who was the person you were looking for before, this just confirmed it. Even though he looked a bit different from the last time you saw him, you knew it was him, how? by his eyes. 

Maker, you could recognize those beautiful golden eyes anywhere in the galaxy.

"Nice to meet you ...7567" you heard Ezra and suddenly your mind snapped back to reality.

"Rex" you said without thinking making everyone turn around to see you "his name is Rex" 

"Wait, you know him?" Kanan asked you as you get closer to them. You gave him a happy nod in response.

"(Y/n)?" Rex recognized you instantly once you were beside your friends,  after all you hadn't changed that much, you were as beautiful as he remembered you. 

The captain hurried to get down of the tank and you could swear your heart was going to get out of your chest while he was walking towards you. 

He looked so different and yet for you he was still the same man you knew a long time ago, the man you fell in love with. 

Stars, you had missed this man so much you couldn't help but put him in a tight hug once he was in front of you.

"it's you!" you happily said holding him closer. Rex laughed putting his arms around your waist and lifting you up until your legs were wrapped around his waist, foreheads resting together.

"It's me, cyare" he assured you.

You heard Kanan cleaning his throat and both you quickly let go of each other.

"Cyare?" Sabine mumbled recognising her language.

"You guys need a moment?" asked Zeb in a teasing tone, making your cheeks go a little red.

"Sorry, it's just… I haven't seen (y/n) in a very long time" Rex explained rubbing the back of his head. Owning a raised eyebrow from everyone.

"Well, what are you waiting for? bring them in!" screamed Gregor from the walker saving you from further questions.

•••

Later that day you and the team agreed to help the clones hunt a Joopa as payment for the intelligence they had. It  gave you enough time to catch up with Rex.

"Whose idea was this?" you asked Rex as you were leaning on a railing, the captain chuckled and pointed at Gregor on the other side of the walker who was happily cheering Zeb. Both of you laughed and  shaked your heads at his brother.

"So you found your brothers" you noted remembering why your paths parted years ago.

"Yeah.. took me some time" he said looking at your friends across the tank "you join the cause" 

"Yup" you proudly said following his contemplating stare "and I found them too, my new family"

"They seem to be good people" he said looking back at you "but I'm not sure Kanan trust me" 

"Give him a time" you suggested "he just needs to make sure that what happened to his master, to the Jedi, is not going to happen to us"

"Understood, sir" he said in a playful tone that only made you roll your eyes "thanks for the advice" 

You nudged him and both giggled like the old times. It was a relief knowing his humor sense was still the same.

"You know, when Ahsoka send us on this mission I never thought it would be you the person we were looking for. I'm glad it's you"

He smiled softly at you and  you took a minute to appreciate the features of your old lover. He looked so different now and yet he was still the same man you loved so dearly.

 Flashes of his younger self filled your mind. You remembered the very short blond hair you used to run your fingers, his golden eyes and always clean shaved jaw. His features now hidden behind a silver, surprisingly soft beard.

He had aged fastly, just like he told you he would, clones were engineered to grow twice as fast, however you couldn't see him like an old man, it was just him, the Rex you adored and the more you looked at him the more you fell once again for him.

"What is it (y/n)?" Rex asked raising an eyebrow.

"I never thought I'd see you with beard" you confessed owning a chuckle form the captain. Then you raised a hand and stroked his beard a bit, trying to get used to it. Rex leaned in your hand and closed his eyes for a second enjoying your sweet touch "I like it… suits you"

"Well, had I known that you would like it so much, I would have let it grow earlier" he teased and both laughed at his comment, unconsciously moving closer to each other until you collided with his armor. Both of you stayed quiet for a moment realizing the closeness, but not pulling away.

"You have no idea of how much I missed you, (y/n)". he confessed tucking a lock of hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek,  making your heart beat faster with every second past.

"I missed you too, Rex" you breathed. 

He carefully lifted your chin up and pulled you closer until your lips were on his, sending a wave of electricity all along your spine as he kissed you slowly at first and then desperately as if he was afraid you might vanish. There were no need for words, it was obvious that both still loved each other.

Eventually you pulled away in need of air, he rested his forehead on yours while both catched your breath, smiling softly at each other. 

"(Y/n), you did fix the communications,right?" you heard Kanan scream from where he was, interrupting the moment between you and the Captain.

"Karabast" you whispered and Rex chuckled "I'm on it!" you yelled and gave Rex a light kiss before you rushed to the ship.

The Captain walked over to the front of the walker with the rest of the team that were concentrated, mostly bored and tired of the hunting.

"So… how did you guys meet? You and (y/n)?" Ezra asked when he saw Rex lean on a nearby rail.

"It was five years after the end of the clone wars" Rex started "I was lost in a planet where the people didn't exactly like clones,  without food, weapons or credits" 

"A planet that doesn't like clones? Should I buy property there?" Kanan said with his sarcastic voice owning a look from Ezra who was quietly paying attention to the captain's story. 

"Hey, don't be mean!" said the blue haired boy "what happened then?"

"She saved my life" Rex told them "she helped me when no one else did" he smiled at the memory "we were together for almost two years until we decided to take different ways"

"It sounds like you two were really close" spoke Sabine from the roof the ship. "You called her 'cyare' "

"What does that mean?" asked confused Ezra, making the clone Captain blush a bit.

"Beloved" responded Rex without hesitation "it means 'beloved'

"I hate to be the one asking this" added Kanan walking closer "but why didn't you stay with her?"

The captain sighed deeply before answering to the Jedi.

"I wanted to find my brothers, move to some neutral system and have a peaceful life, no more fighting, no more war" he paused for a second "she wanted to fight, do something with her life more than just steal things, she wanted to help others"

"You loved her, right?" Ezra asked without hesitation. This kid was wild.

Rex suddenly saw you coming out of the ship and lean against the door frame with that pretty smile of yours that always made his heart soft.

"I still do, kid, I still do" 

•••

After a lot of effort and teamwork, you finally managed to capture the giant worm Gregor was so excited about. It was a good day, all things considered, the mission to get the data for the base was more than done and hunting the  Joopa was quite a thing, but most importantly you reunited with Rex that somehow managed to convince the Ghost crew to stay for dinner.

You both kept close to each other all the time, sharing slight delicate brushing of hands and exchanging loving gazes. 

While the crew had dinner tasting the rich flavor of the hunt of the day and shared stories you watched Rex sitting across the table. You stared at him with longing and hope, feeling that your world was complete again with this man by your side.

[haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong]

The Power of Uselessness

Needless to say it had been a rough couple of months for the remnants of Chaldea. Between their home being destroyed, the three months in void space, and immediately being tossed into the Russian Lostbelt it was fair to say they were due for a win any second now. For a moment that seemed to be just what they were getting. Ivan had been defeated and the source of this little slice of chaos stand before them. But nothing good lasts forever. As now the only thing standing between them and The Great Tree was the very servant who was responsible for them losing their home and her master who by all means outclassed Kiryu in every way. On top of that it seemed the residents of the world grew wise to what would happen should Chaldea accomplish their goal. Was it right to destroy this entire land for the sake of restoring their own? By doing so were they not just as horrible as the very beings that wiped out their entire history? If not for Patxi’s parting words these thoughts would have driven Kiryu to despair. The Yaga’s final moments being used to push Kiryu to make a world where people could smile and be happy. A world where you didn’t have to be strong just to barely get by.

And so he would continue to fight. To push forward onto taking out the Great Tree that lay before them. Billy’s help was crucial along with Mash’s new power. But in the end it seemed to be too much. The Yaga’s sheer numbers and Anastasia’s overwhelming might drove them to their knees.

Kadoc: Why don’t you just give up already? It’s clear you’re outmatched here.

Kiryu’s breathing had become heavy. His spirit ready to press on, but his body however....

Kiryu:....Wouldn’t be the first time.

Kadoc: Oh yeah, you may have gotten lucky up until now but that’s all it was. It’s nothing short of a miracle that you even got past the First Singularity.

Deep down Kiryu knew he was right. It was only thanks to the help he had gotten that he ever made it this far. But would that really undermine everything.

Kadoc: Face it! You’re outclassed here. You weren’t even supposed to be at Chaldea, let alone survive that explosion. You’re just a low ranking nobody who only got drafted because somehow you can manage a connection with servants. Without that, you’re nothing. You’re useless.

The word echoed in Kiryu’s mind like the ringing of The First Hassan’s bell. He always hated that word. His fists tighten as he pushes himself to his feet.

Kiryu: Useless?

Anastasia: Have you gone deaf now? Your Proper Human History had failed. And now it is up to-

Kiryu: Shut the hell up!

Everyone looks to Kiryu. His outburst drawning concern from his allies

Mash: Senpai? Kiryu’s breathing accelerates as he straightens his back

Kiryu: I’ve had it...up to here with people like you. People who look down on everybody just because they don’t live up to your expectations. The only reason any of this was allowed to happen was because of high and mighty people who thought they were better then anyone. You want useless?

Kiryu raises his right hand. Not once up to this point has he ever felt the need use them outside of boosting his servants but it seemed he was making an exception. His left hand grabbing onto his wrist as he focuses everything into his command.

Kiryu: I’ll show you just what useless people can do!

All three of the markings on his hand begin glowing with an intense bright light.

Kiryu: By my command! I order you! Return to my side!

Onboard the Shadow Boarder the briefcase which held the collective Spirit Origins connected to Kiryu begins to glow.

Gordy: What the devil is that? I um...is it supposed to be doing that right now?

Kiryu: Return to my side and live up to your name! Strike this damn tree down in one feel swoop! Return to my side and unleash your power! BUNYAAAAAAAANNNNN!

All three of the marks on Kiryu’s hand fade away and the light on them begins to fade. The area left in silence if not for Kiryu’s breathing.

Kadoc:.....What the hell was that? Are you so delusional you gave your saving grace to a servant who doesn’t even exist?

Anastasia: It seems the stress of the situation has gone to his head, master.

Mash and Billy look toward Kiryu. Billy wondering what exactly was going on. Why didn’t he use those to help get them out? Mash couldn’t help but wonder the same thing. Command seals could be used to restore spirit origins of existing servants but at the moment that current servant was....

Kadoc: Well no sense dragging this out any longer. Finish it.

With her master’s command Anastasia lifts her hand and an ice spike begins forming in her palm. Just as it fully formed the ground would shake causing her to lose concentration, causing it to fall and shatter.

Kadoc: What the hell!?

A smug smile comes onto Kiryu’s face. He knew exactly what was happening. After all, he had willed it so.

The ground shakes once more. A steady rhythm had begun to form. From behind Kiryu, Kadoc could see something approach them. A colossus stepping around the city as it seemed to be on a direct course for where they stood.

Kiryu: The Yaga worshiped Ivan....because of his strength. Patxi called him a living mountain. Well I wonder how they’ll respond....

Kadoc looks toward Kiryu, finding his eyes locking with the low ranking master’s.

Kiryu: to something bigger.

Upon seeing the figure that put Ivan to shame the Yaga would be put into a panic. The hands trembling as they could feel the power quickly approaching them. Kadoc looks around at his now useless army.

Kadoc: You idiots! Just kill the master and the servant will follow! Damn it are any of you listening to me!?

His words fell on deaf ears. The Yaga that weren’t frozen in awe had already begun to flee.

Kadoc: Damn it! Anastasia!

Anastasia: I’ve got him.

Now use to the tremors the servant readies another ice spike. Within seconds it launched directly toward Kiryu’s heart. But it was too late. They were already within reach of the titan that stood behind them. A massive hand covered in a green glove slammed down and stomped the ice spike into the ground. With one swift motion it would scoop up a piece of the ground, carrying Kiryu and his allies up to safety.

Bunyan: .....Master.

With the very ground beneath him moving Kiryu was forced onto his stomach. He lacked the strength to get up but he could still look behind him. The smiling face of innocence looking down at him. The snow beginning to melt from under him as he can’t help but smile back.

Bunyan: I’m back.

Kiryu:.....Welcome home.

Bunyan would respond with a heartfelt giggle. With a swift motion she places the three inside of one of her coat pockets.

Kadoc: This is insane! What the hell even is that!? That spirit origin is pathetic! Paul Bunyan shouldn’t even be on the Throne of Heroes! This shouldn’t even be happening!

From their perspective distances Bunyan can only vaguely hear the ramblings going on beneath her. Her master was now safe and warm inside of her coat. With both hands she grasps onto her axe and stares at the massive tree before her.

Bunyan: And yet....here I AM!

With one swing of her axe the tree would be cut clean in two. Almost in an instant the storm that seemed to constantly surround the Russian Lostbelt would cease. Bunyan slamming her axe down to her side. Kadoc could only look in despair as his beloved servant would begin to fade away. With the Lostbelt gone her spirit origin’s connection to this would was gone. She could no longer maintain herself. All Kadoc could do was look up at the titanic servant now staring down at him angrily. He thought about running but in the end there wouldn’t be a point. For every 100 steps he took she would only have to take one to be in front of him again. He couldn’t help but find the whole thing humorous in a way. That bastard Kiryu managed to pull off another one.

--------------------------------------------

Had this one in my head for a while now but could never quite get it right. Wasn’t sure to do this one or the ending of their contract first but the ladder just made me to sad to write down. So I went with this one.

@hasquetzdoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong​ @hasishtardoneanythingwrong​

[aion-rsa]

Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers

https://ift.tt/3rSBEcN

It’s easy to take one look at FOX’s newest animated comedy, The Great North, and assume it’s exactly like the long running and beloved Bob’s Burgers. Two of The Great North’s creators wrote a good chunk of Bob’s Burgers episodes and the shows share a near-identical art style after all. At first glance some of the Bob’s Burgers character archetypes seem to be involved as well: awkward daughter, an odd sarcastic youngest child, and a loving, if somewhat offbeat, father.  So why bother with something like Bob’s Burgers when you could just watch Bob’s Burgers?

While there are a few surface similarities, by the end of the first episode of The Great North you’ll realize there’s so much more to it than just an Alaskan set version of the Belcher family. It’s got humor all its own, unique characters, and the potential to be something that isn’t merely a rival to Bob’s Burgers but a truly unique experience.

So let’s head up north to discover all the reasons why The Great North is so wonderful. As a brief primer, the show is set in Alaska and follows the Tobin family with fisherman dad Beef, artistic daughter Judy, loveably dumb son Ham, bear-suit wearing son Moon, oldest and eager to please son Wolf, his always chipper and new to Alaska fiancé Honeybee, and Judy’s best imaginary friend Alanis Morissette…played by Alanis Morssette.

The Family’s Lack of a Mom is Refreshingly Handled

A lack of a mom is a huge trope in animation at this point (look at damn near every ‘90s Disney movie) and if there is a mom, especially in a comedy, she tends to be wacky or overly loving. The Great North puts a new twist on both of these in its very first episode.

The plot of the premiere deals with Beef struggling to get over his ex-wife years after she abandoned the family. An ex-wife isn’t anything to write home about, a single dad taking care of a family is a comedy trope in of itself, but it’s what we learn about Beef’s ex that makes this element so refreshing.

Instead of the mom just not being present or having died off screen, Beef only acts like she’s dead, a fabrication everyone goes along with to keep him sane. When he isn’t around though Judy is quick to point out the rest of the family doesn’t buy this and they never liked her much anyway. She even flat out states,

“She was a really bad mom, okay? And it was actually better when she left.”

The other kids then list off horrible things she did, like name their dog Grandma solely so, “she wouldn’t be lying when she said we were with Grandma when people asked.” She runs a blog with her “new lover” about stores that wont chase you if you shoplift. Even in her goodbye letter to Ham she just wrote, “smell you later.”

I love this so much because it replaces all the easy sentimentality of a dead or simply absent mom that comedies love and instead opens up some fantastic new storytelling opportunities. In the pilot alone it gives us deep insight into Beef, that despite how awful she was he refuses to think anything but the best of her. Why is he like that? Is it his way of not thinking about all the terrible things she did? She’s left him so broken he has to concoct an elaborate fantasy to keep himself sane. It makes you instantly love the character and while he does seemingly get over this denial in the pilot I can foresee it impacting him for the rest of the series.

It’s also so refreshing because the kids aren’t all that broken up about it. Knowing their mom was terrible helps reflect a lot of what kids go through in real life. Sometimes they just have a bad parent and there’s no deep explanation of why, they just are and it’s not great. Maybe Judy and the others are hurt by this and I’d love to see the show tackle that in the future but even if it strictly keeps this part of their characters on the comedic side of things? It’s empowering. These kids aren’t broken up by their awful mom and want her back; they’re thriving BECAUSE she isn’t around. 

Nick Offerman Being Nick Offerman

Over the years Nick Offerman has perfected the deadpan and loveable character that brought him to fame in Parks and Recreation. His role as Beef isn’t a major departure from that mold but it does allow Offerman to be even warmer than his most famous character. 

As Beef he’s a capable man who gets up to see the sun rise and chop wood. He loves nature so much he steals a potted plant from a mall to take better care of it. His love for his family is on full display and he often goes to absurd lengths to keep them together. Offerman brings a great charm to the role and all of the jokes he delivers are winners. 

The Rural Location

Bob’s Burgers draws much inspiration from its city setting, while The Great North is set in rural Alaska. This may seem like a surface level change but once again opens up all kinds of new opportunities for stories and characters. Where the Belcher family was somewhat cynical to city life (you would be to with a landlord breathing down your neck) the Tobin family openly embraces the chilly north.

Judy sits out on the roof and talks with her imaginary best friend, Moon takes great pride in his ability to mimic a soon to be eaten cadaver laying out in the snow, and Beef specifically gets up every morning to stare in wild wonder at Alaska’s majesty while whispering “hot dog.” The whole family even delights in going to the mall, which is the kind of joy only someone living out in the middle of nowhere can truly appreciate.

The Different Character Dynamics

Even after eleven truly fantastic seasons Bob’s Burgers characters still manage to never feel stale and the team behind the show always finds new ways to play around with them. With such a rock solid cast of characters you’d think they could tackle any story imaginable but The Great North is already proving to be a home for stories that just wouldn’t work for Bob’s Burgers.

The most noticeable change is that most of the kids are older. Judy and Ham are both sixteen which opens up a lot of possibilities that couldn’t be done with the Belcher kids. They can get involved in more serious relationships, have jobs (as Judy gets in the first episode), and are able to be more autonomous from the family. Wolf, the oldest of all of them, is engaged! Imagine what could be done with a soon-to-be married couple? Honeybee herself also functions as a delighted fish out of water to Alaska, her thoughts on the Tobins’ life a needed commentary. Her outgoing personality also clashes well with Moon’s stoic nature.

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Judy and Ham also share a more loving sibling dynamic than any of the Belcher kids ever have. In Bob’s Burgers the kids don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, they’re more likely to make sarcastic quips about one other. The Great North though has Judy and Ham share a special bond, the two have a secret handshake that goes for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s really sweet and it makes me excited to see what kind of comedy can be mined from this more openly affectionate family.

Ham Is Gay And I Love Him

Ham is my favorite character so far in this show. He’s a little slow on the uptake but loves everyone in his family a lot and can even make a perfect replica of a cadaver… in the form of a cake. He also happens to be gay, a fact that is wonderfully confirmed in the first episode when he blurts out, “I AM GAY!

To which Moon responds, “we know. You’ve come out to us a bunch of times.”

Beef then adds, “we love you just the way you are, damn it!”

Ham, clearly not remembering his past comings-out, yells, “WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY!”

It’s a great scene and kicks any subtext out the door. Queer audiences don’t have to sit around guessing who COULD be queer in the show (as they’re so often forced to do with so little representation in media) there’s a character who said OUT LOUD he’s gay. He’s one of us!

Bob’s Burgers has had several one-time gay characters (Bob did refer to himself as “mostly straight” once but that was more of a gag) but getting a gay teen in the main cast is sublime. He’s also a different sort of gay teen then we’re used to in television, with a tiny “probably thinks it’s cooler than it actually is” mustache and his “not quite all there” personality. He’s not a stereotype, he’s got some obvious flaws, but he’s loveable! Sure enough, his family loves him and accepts him.

Having a gay character in the cast opens up so many story possibilities. Are there any other gay kids in this rural town? What if there’s only one and he’s forced to date him? Does he know what kind of guys he likes yet? Where do the gay kids hang out in this town? 

It also must be reiterated that his family loves him and accepts him. While drama over coming out and acceptance is totally valid, I’m glad that Ham will get the chance to just be gay and his family will support him all the way. We can just see him happily (if somewhat absent-mindedly) live his life and that’s needed in a world with so little queer representation. As a pansexual man myself it’s heartwarming. I wish I had a character like Ham when I was growing up. 

Alanis Morissette Is A Main Character

Yes, Alanis Morissette is in The Great North (played by the actual Alanis Morissette) but in an absolutely perfect choice she’s not the REAL Alanis Morissette, she’s Judy’s best imaginary friend who just happens to be Alanis Morissette. Judy’s artistic so it makes sense she’d look up to someone as incredible as the Canadian musical genius. As an imaginary best friend she tends to serve as a sounding board for Judy’s thoughts and gives absolutely flawless advice.

Even better though? The imaginary Alanis Morissette also only appears in the Aurora Borealis. That’s… incredible. What a way to take advantage of the show’s location!

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 The Great North is a delight. It’s only been two episodes (the third one premieres February 14 and the first two are available on Hulu) but it’s already shown a lot of promise. Not in the “oh it’ll get good eventually” sense but in the “no it’s already great and I want to see more of it!” Don’t think of it as another Bob’s Burgers, just think of it as its own wonderful moose-filled show (it’s Alaska, what did you expect) and you’ll have a fantastic time. Truly, in these dark times we could all use a little help from imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette.

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