#so if i end up revisiting the story of other girls again the character is gonna be called zendra i just can't change the youtube production

[magentagalaxies]

i haven't rewatched other girls in a while bc it was made during a rough time for my mental health which makes it difficult to revisit without having that be an unignorable part of it for me but i'm currently editing the video essay i'm doing for my final in one of my college courses and i'm using a montage of clips from other girls in it and rn i'm just sitting here like damn i really did that!!! like yeah i was going through the most major manic-depressive episode of my life and not coping with it well at all, but also like damn between the ages of 16 and 20 i wrote and composed a two hour musical comedy with a dozen original songs (despite never having written music before), directed a production of it at the beginning of my sophomore year of college and put it out into the world as something people can watch. that's a huge accomplishment, and the fact that i was able to do that while getting through my own mental health struggle is actually super impressive

i really hope i get to a point where i can revisit other girls as its own piece of art without dwelling on my own mental health struggles behind the scenes (especially bc i'm in such a better place rn and i probably wouldn't have grown as much as i have without those struggles) but i'm so proud of my past self for being able to put it all together. and even if it didn't reach hundreds of thousands of views, it was able to reach some people who really connected with it

btw here's the video of it if any of my followers are interested and haven't seen it:

(i really hope i can get subtitles for the whole thing eventually bc the audio isn't always clear, but i do still have the script if people want to follow along with that)

[butmakeitgayblog]

Can I just say I love how like, into revisiting and analysing this dumb show’s scenes you still are — with the rise in popularity of streaming (I’m sure this has something to do with it, anyway) it’s become more and more commonplace for people to consume a piece of media, enjoy it, get bored of it after a while and never touch it again after moving on to the next new thing. It’s so wholesome and refreshing to see people still be so passionate and always find something new to talk about a show that, for all many of us care, ended 8 years ago. I do move in and out of being obsessed and disinterested with the media I’ve enjoyed, but in a world where I’m constantly seeing people say “oh you’re a fan of [X]? But that’s old :/“ (mostly about something that finished like last year lol) your blog is a breath of fresh air :)

Well thank you 🥹

The thing is, I get it. I get why and how people move on to different fandoms so quickly, and I don't really think poorly of that or anything. It's been almost a decade and it's easy to fall out of love with something after so long. Hell, when you think about it, this fandom has outlived the lifespan of a lot of entire relationships people have had 🥴. People find new things to get excited over and the *gasp* feeling of finding this new /thing/ is always fun. So I do get it.

But for me, it's just not that way. It's not that simple. Not because I think I'm somehow special (maybe a lil deranged 😬), but rather that's just how I operate. Before Clexa the only other ship I ever really cared about was Willara from Buffy which I watched when I was a goddamn teenager lol (RIP to my fellow gays always falling for girls who get shot ✊😔). I just don't get attached much to characters and ships. Usually ai like them in passing, enjoy watching them, and then that's... it. Tibette from the L Word. Wayhaught. Brittana. I like them and I follow them, but there's no real desire to delve deeper beneath the surface.

And then something like Clexa comes around and just absolutely fucks me up. It hits me and connects with me in a way that I just can't shake. Watching the show isn't enough. Thinking about it isn't enough. I have to discuss it and dissect it and fill in the gaps that we didn't see, and read and (now) create more stories for them just to understand everything about them to a deeper degree.

So few characters really elicit that kind of connection, but Clexa do. Even for a lot of the people who have moved on, at one time they felt that connection. Clexa was a fuckin madhouse for years and I think the fact that even still to this day people keep discovering and rediscovering them and falling in love with them all over again speaks volumes about just how wonderful that relationship and those characters actually were.

Especially Lexa.

Now, I love Clarke. I make it known that thiiiisss is a Clarke Griffin apologist's blog. That feral little kitten has never done anything wrong in her life. Ever. Including all of the terrible things she's done, as well as the many, many things that were flat out wrong. She is still innocent. She is only a baby. A murderous, tormented, compassionate, complex babygirl. So never get it twisted that I'm saying Clarke is somehow lesser than, but when push comes to shove when we're talking about baseline complexity, there is no character like Lexa. There's just not.

This woman was definition of doomed by the narrative. A child stolen away to be used as a glorified sacrificial lamb for her people. A toddler wielding a sword made of wood taller than her own tiny body, trained to accept her own life as expendable for the greatest good of her people before even learning her ABCs. She took the throne at 12 bby slaughtering her only companions and made her death mask out of kohl and fallen tears. Every person she ever loved as a mother, father, brother, either died for her, or by her own hand. The only two people she ever dared to be weak for were torn from her in the name of politics and the weight of her own bloodied crown. Under all the regalia she was just Lexa. Heda, always surrounded by her people and yet eternally just a lonely soul. Born here on Earth, raised to eventually die for others, left to rule over the people on the ground as best she knew how.

And yet through the pain, she was strong. So fucking strong it emboldened the warriors around her. She was brave, and lethal, and unyielding in her pursuit of peace. Meeting every push against her forward march to change head on, never flinching in her own brutality along the way. She knew that she was born for this; believed the black of her blood to be every bit as much of a blessing as it was a curse. Even when people doubted her and did their best to end her reign, Lexa always came out swinging.

She loved hard and kicked ass even harder, is what I'm saying. And the fact that they took a character like that and ended her so fucking carelessly? I just... I'm gonna be pissed off about that for a very long time. And until I'm no longer pissed off about that, I'll be here running mouth about it 🥴 probably still trying to make it better by writing her and the love of her life in as many stories as I can, so they can finally get the happy ending that was robbed of them in canon 🫡

[fleverian]

Mermay? Nah it's fairy time

Here's some close ups

Been thinking about Fairytopia. Gotta be one of my favorite Barbie movies. I've wanted to draw a young Laverna and Enchantress for a while.

I'm gonna rant about nearly 20 year old Barbie movies. Man, I wish we got some more lore for these movies. Instead we got Mariposa, which was ok and I liked it but I didn't really care for, idk what to call it, the aggressive girliness? Where they bring in fairies obsessed with fashion and everything had to be covered in glitter. But at least I could consider it as maybe just a story Elina was telling Bibble or somewhere far away from Fairytopia. But the the next one ruined it by having Mariposa just straight up fly through Fairytopia and now there's some crystal fairy kingdom right in the middle of the Magic Meadow and the aesthetics and fashion completely clash with the first three Fairytopia movies. I like how the outfits in Fairytopia look like they are made from flowers and natural things. But in Mariposa and The Fairy Princess the outfits look like generic glittery modern Barbie princess aesthetic. Absolutely hate it. To me, it is not canon.

The older Barbie movies are super dated looking probably were even when they just came out. But they all had such well designed outfits and environments. They kind of have a liminal feeling to them. I love the aesthetics of them. The modern Barbie movies improved a bit in the animation, but never to the point where it looked that great. To me they end up looking more uncanny than the older ones. Because the older ones at least had a style to them but the newer ones just look generic. The fashion the backgrounds everything is just so soulless to me. Idk, maybe I'm just old and miss my childhood lol.

Really wish Mattel would revisit some of the old Barbie movie characters though. With a movie, books, or picture books. I fear them making anything with them with the new animation though. I need them to dust off their old stuff and bring back the crappy mid 2000's Barbie cgi. I neeeed it. It would probably be cheaper for them too since it's outdated. I need to see a new Barbie movie in all it's old

glory.

I need to see my girl Elina again. I want some more Fairytopia and Mermaidia lore.

Would love to see some backstory of Laverna and The Enchantress. I feel like there's something there. It just needs to be expanded on. What's Laverna's deal and why is The Enchantress the most useless fairy in all Fairytopia. I have to know.

I designed some younger versions of them. I saw this and wanted to draw my own versions. Gave The Enchantress a name too, Elvina. Read it means "elf or magical friend or noble being" and thought it fits really well.

Decided to try a new coloring style with these. I think it works pretty well for fairy characters. I don't think I'll use it much with other things because it takes a while and I like to use a simpler style.

Here are some versions with no backgrounds since the wings are transparent

[tornrose24]

After finishing rewatching all of The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, these are my thoughts.

I think this is the one time in who knows how many years I’ve been invested in something that came from Disney. I haven’t seen this kind of passion project in a long time and sadly I don’t know if I’ll ever see that magic again for awhile, considering how Disney itself has suffered with many poor choices.

As for the show, a lot hits different when you know how it ends. Certain moments become a lot more meaningful with that knowledge.

I’d say first season was the better of the two. There was far more at stake and the story was building up to its climax in numerous ways compared to season two. The threat of The Chairman and the discovering of the duo’s friendship is very much felt in more episodes compared to Jinx.

Scratch’s character development is really noticeable in season 1, but in a way Molly’s is as well, given how one learns to open up and learn kindness and optimism while the other also needs to learn to open up in other ways, as well as grow into the wise, yet still optimistic teenager she becomes at the end of the show.

Season two… the stakes aren’t as great here. As stated by others, the Chens are overall not given much as a threat for season 2, and Jinx is used too sparingly so the penultimate season does feel a bit rushed. I honestly would have taken out some episodes from this season and replaced them with ones that could have addressed this, especially had the creators known they’d only get two seasons. Though of course they did not when starting out and it’s surreal to think that–had things gone right–we’d be waiting for season 3 right now.

However, I’m still sticking to my initial thoughts regarding ‘The End.’ I still don’t think it was necessary for Scratch to forget Molly.

The first problem is that this plot point is already one a lot of us are familiar with (I’ve seen it quite a lot in my case). Doctor Who used it (before it got changed), Spiderman No Way Home used it to a painful extreme, and Gravity Falls temporarily used it in its own finale. There’s a novel called ‘Just like Heaven’ that is a more romantic version of TGAMM, and it ended with memory loss as well (though the movie has a happier ending). I feel sad, but I also feel angry, which leads to my second problem.

Molly and Scratch’s friendship is the heart of this show. We were entertained and moved by it, as well as how far they would go for each other. So when Scratch forgets, we feel Molly’s pain as observers to her and Scratch’s story. We want Scratch to live his life as a human, and we wanted him to go out and see the world, but he should NOT have had to forget Molly in exchange. I know we always have to say goodbye and that there are some people who were special to us that we might/will never see again, but dear lord, being forgotten is a certain type of pain that hurts even worse. 

Rewatching/remembering certain scenes is now more painful, knowing now that Scratch will forget them. Him saying that he’d hate to forget Molly was too cruel. When I was getting cloer to revisiting ‘The End’ I was feeling reluctance to continue on, and not just because I was almost done with the re-watching. When Scratch merged back with his body and the screen turned to white, I had to fight the urge to shut the episode down and pretend things went differently. That’s how much it hurts when it’s not just a casual viewing. I know these characters ultimately belong to someone else, but I wouldn’t want to put them through that kind of suffering.

Had I been in charge of the show, but kept the idea of ‘taking risks is what makes if worth living,’ I would have used one of two different endings. One where its the same, but Scratch remembers Molly. The other would have been a time skip, when Scratch returned to Brighton with Adia and he reunited with Molly who is a little older but is still the girl he knew.

But… I do appreciate the small ray of hope that was given. That Scratch’s behavior as a human and certain use of words–as well as calling Molly by name despite supposedly never hearing it before-fuels a lot of hope that one day Scratch will remember and he will reunite with Molly one day. That even a few writers proposed a reunion story where Molly hugging Scratch would trigger his memories to come back gives me hope that there's still a possibility in that story. (If anyone tells me I'm stupid to be thinking those things, please don't because I care about those characters THAT much.)

Until then, we have aus, what ifs, and fan fics to fix that.

So… I don’t know when I’ll rewatch the whole show again, given the emotional toll. I’ll still revisit some episodes and scenes. But I’m grateful that Disney allowed this show to exist–it deserved more love and attention. If this had to be the very last good thing to ever come out of Disney, I’ll take it.

[furashuban]

I'm in tears. Ya girl just made it to the end of the show.

But my heart doesn't feel broken, it's still soaring after watching—the warmth and childlike wonder I get from watching this show, the thing I always come back to this series for it is still there lingering in me even now that the show has bid farewell.

It's impossible to put to words just how much Hilda has meant to me the past 3 years (yet somehow feels like a lifetime), from the way it inspired me creatively and helped me to realize what I want to do when I'm older (being one day write my own books for children), to the life-long relationships I made from the community around it, and to simply being a whole other world to escape to and tag along in the journey of such a lovable and adventurous girl who genuinely felt like a friend by my side to watch rather than just a character I was seeing through a screen, something no other show has felt like for me in a long time.

I only wished I knew where to begin with how much I ENJOYED Season 3 specifically, how much I enjoyed everything that came before even, but I've genuinely had the best of times seeing the way this series' story grew—so many moments and episodes that are up there as one of my favourites now. The best part of all this is that I have every intention of revisiting this season and show as a whole time-and-time again. I was readying myself prior to the finale to say goodbye to this show, but thinking about it now it's more like a goodbye for now knowing that it and it's fandom will always still be there for me to come back to and have great time as always. There's no way I can ever let go of Hilda and the positive impact this series has left in my life.

Thank you Luke Pearson and the team behind the show for creating the coziest, most extraordinary animated masterpiece to ever exist, and thanks to my friends/mutuals and significant other I met because of Hilda for being an even warmer part of my life than the series already was.

Thanks, Hilda, for everything 💙

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

I agree with all your takes on omfd season 2... wasn't all that a laugh and a half :/ do you have any thoughts on a prospective (?) season 3?

Oh yeah lmao, the writers were definitely having a laff, unlike me 😭😭😭

When it comes to season 3:

• I can't imagine or accept a situation in which Izzy is not there in the flesh. Not after a season that specifically introduced the concept of magic and the gravy basket. I don't want him to be a ghost or a vision of guilt-ridden characters. I want my boy back, in the flesh, to pester everyone around him and to finally have his hot girl summer ‼️‼️‼️

• as much as even after the first 3 eps of s2 I could potentially see Steddyhands happening, all of that kinda went to shit in my eyes after they killed Izzy off.

• After everything that happened I can't and don't want to imagine Ed and Izzy reconciling enough to get involved with each other romantically.

• I can see Izzy with Stede tho. I'd actually like that quite a lot.

• at this point I'm not a Blackbonnet girlie (gn) by any stretch, and well, I can't imagine myself enjoying a potential season 3 if all it has to offer will be more drama between those two

• knowing them both, I think they will be making genuine attempts at running an inn for half an episode. And I'm being generous

• also, I can't imagine a season 3 that has Zheng just. Hanging out on the Revenge. Making out with Oluwande. And not even attempting to rebuild her pirate empire. I need my girl cunning and powerful with a fleet to show for it. I think that what they did to her by the end of the season was a shit writing decision. Was her losing her entire fleet... Supposed to humble her? To teach her a lesson? What lesson? That it's not things but people that really matter? It's kind of a weak message, especially for this character. And the execution of it was just. Plain bad lmao. Her talk with Auntie by the end was cute, yes, but it came so out of the blue tbh. If it has been established earlier on that maybe Zheng feels insecure sometimes and would like for Auntie specifically to tell her she's proud of her, that would make more sense. But this way it was kinda. It didn't have the punch it should've had.

• also sidenote: Zheng deciding to team up with Stede (even if it was mostly because Ed was also there) doesn't reflect well on him... It reflects badly on her. My girl deserves allies as powerful as her and Stede is simply not that.

• I want more crew shenanigans. And more backstory for every crew member!!!

• I can imagine a version of the story in which Stede and Ed break up and just don't get back together again by the end. It's so beautiful here. Hold my hand

• also sidenote, but has Jim just completely given up on taking their revenge on the Siete Gallos? I think it would've been fun to revisit that storyline

• also - WHAT HAPPENED TO JIM'S BROTHER

• honestly - after the shitshow that was season 2, I can't think of an actual potential way that the story could end. And tbh I don't think the writers do, either. I do have ideas, but they're mine and not the writers' of the show, and thus not very likely to actually happen.

[sepublic]

Alice in New Vestroia AU

            So I’ve been getting back into my age-old hyperfixation of Bakugan (both the show and toys from the legacy series) and realizing how much of a formative impact it all had on me, but also. As I revisit the original show, I’m getting the idea for an AU centered around Alice Gehabich, because they really did this girl dirty even though she’s literally Masquerade and has ‘his’ blessing (Seriously, disrespecting Alice is disrespecting Masquerade, you have to respect BOTH).

         AU where Alice is the main protagonist of New Vestroia, as part of this larger AU I have in mind where each story arc centers around another one of the original six brawlers, who gets a turn in the spotlight. Part of Alice’s arc in NV is self-actualizing as a less douchey Masquerade, and who’s her Guardian Bakugan if Hydranoid is bronzed?

         Why, it’s Reaper! Freed from the Doom Dimension thanks to the Legendary Soldiers of Vestroia. I feel bad for the dude and as others have suggested, Alice using Reaper in NV to free Hydranoid, the one who replaced him… Lots of delicious drama from that. I imagine that because it’s a toyline, Reaper has a new form/appearance thanks to his time in the Doom Dimension, for the same Doylist reason that Drago always has a new evolution, because you can’t reuse the same old toys from last year! Yuck!

         Not sure what it looks like (but there’s at least canon basis for the Doom Dimension to have changed Reaper’s look), but regardless he ends up with Alice again. There’s lots of mixed feelings, Alice is happy to be back with Reaper and hopes to make amends with him, confronting her past as Masquerade and any lingering guilt she might still hold. In general, a lot of NV has to deal with guilt and accountability when it comes to Alice and the characters she’s connected to…

         Reaper acts like it’s fine, he doesn’t care when he realizes his mission entails rescuing Hydranoid. But then in comes Alice’s first battle with Shadow Prove, in which Hades is revealed; The replacement to the Bakugan who replaced Reaper! And suddenly, in the heat of battle, Reaper’s true feelings emerge as he vents and projects and takes out a LOT of rage on poor Hades. Screaming and yelling at Hades, who he initially mistakes for Hydranoid, if he’s still inferior when he’s the one beating him this time, beating the ‘superior’ Hydranoid. Finding a cruel and bitter irony, that Hydranoid ended up being replaced himself, anyway.

         Alice is no fool and can tell Reaper is treating Hades as a personal punching bag substitute for the real deal, so after they leave a traumatized Shadow Prove in the dust, Alice sits down to talk with Reaper about his feelings. Reaper is fairly shocked to see such a vulnerable and soft side to Masquerade, since that kind of thing was never encouraged the last time they were partners. So we have Reaper gradually learning to come out of his shell, and accept his own vulnerabilities.

         Alice does get into a battle with Shadow Prove, two fellow Darkus brawlers; But otherwise, it’s clear she outclasses him, and despite Shadow Prove’s attempts to set himself up as a rival with their shared attributes and Hades as a doppelganger, Alice leaves him behind for her allies to deal with instead. No, Alice’s REAL rival… is none other than Spectra Phantom, of course!

         Because now the roles are reversed; You have the Darkus protagonist, up against a Pyrus antagonist. We have Helios, who is alluded to have a bit of an underdog story, who felt the need to become stronger just so he could match Bakugan like Hydranoid or Drago. So in a way, him and Spectra are a dark version of Dan and Drago, but they’re also still a dark reflection of Masquerade as well, because Alice definitely notices the similarities. Spectra being a carbon copy of Masquerade is now a meaningful narrative choice.

         Confronting Spectra Phantom for Alice is like confronting her past self as Masquerade, the toxic desire for power at the cost of all others. And as Alice grapples with her guilt for what she did, with Reaper being a blatant reminder, she kinda projects onto Spectra a little; Sees the similarities. Alice only has her grandfather but nobody else who could share in that same trauma of becoming a villainous alter-ego, so Alice wishfully assumes Spectra to be the same case, and Mira’s side of the story doesn’t help her perception either.

         So Alice tries to reach out to Spectra, thinks he’s also misunderstood and struggling as she did with Masquerade. And a confused Spectra quickly takes it in stride, and… takes advantage of Alice’s sympathy for his own ends. Eventually, it backfires as it becomes apparent that really is no difference between Keith Fermin and Spectra Phantom; Keith 100% chose of his own volition to pursue evil science and the torture of Bakugan for power. It was all him, there is no tragic accident or backstory.

         And Alice feels hurt and betrayed, because she really wanted someone she could’ve shared in that type of trauma with. And rebuked, Alice goes cold, she starts building up walls and decides that gentle compassion of hers was a mistake. And this is when Alice REALLY starts to emulate Masquerade, worst parts included… This is of course reflected in a design update.

         S1 gave us Alice accepting Masquerade as a part of herself, but what if S2 explored an inverse of that idea, of Masquerade accepting Alice as a part of herself? Alice starts to loathe and detest her former, softer self, whom she deep-down despises for being too weak, too much of a pushover, to do anything. Alice becomes unkind towards that side of herself, and overcompensates by embracing the crueler side to Masquerade, thinking her worth/growth lies in that aspect alone. We once again see the Masquerade who angrily bristles when Exedra examines his motives, as we get some déjà vu and realize how he was a sped-up endpoint for Alice’s insecurity; Masquerade really IS just Alice, who became fed up and disgusted with everyone but especially herself.

         This of course concerns Reaper, who’s also beginning to recognize something familiar and finds it foreboding. And so Alice’s arc comes from accepting that not only is she Masquerade, but she’s still Alice too; And that softer, kinder person is by no means an ‘inferior’ version of Masquerade. Both sides, both aspects to her identity, have their strengths and weaknesses, and do best when reconciled together. Alice learns to forgive her past self, not just Masquerade but the identity of ‘Alice’, for being meek; It’s self-love for the person you used to be.

         I imagine the posthumous discovery of Lync’s redemption influences that realization; Alice inferring from his glove that her compassion DID have an impact on Lync, that it wasn’t wasted. Showing kindness to others was never a mistake, and if Alice keeps trying, it eventually does pay off, even if there are those who might take it for granted. So Alice accepts that she’ll always still have some weakness, some vulnerability, and need to ask for help; And that’s okay!!! No shame in that whatsoever.

         Alice forgiving her own shortcomings helps her reconcile with Reaper; Reaper also learns to forgive himself for not being the strongest Bakugan, for having been replaced by Hydranoid for this. Because his self-worth and dignity are not tied to whether he can beat others up, it’s inherent, and Reaper fighting for the rights of Bakugan in New Vestroia is him fighting for his own worth at the same time, in a roundabout sense.

         Speaking of, this gets me back to Hydranoid; Him and Alice’s reunion mid-way through NV is going to be awkward with Reaper there. Remember that episode of Skyress being uncharacteristically harsh towards Ingram, assuming herself better, only for him to step up when she fails, all as a way to push forward the new product over last year’s? That doesn’t make sense for her, but you know which Bakugan of the original six it would make sense for? Hydranoid! Because it tracks that Hydranoid hasn’t completely let go of the toxic arrogance he had under Masquerade, the Might makes Right mentality.

         To him, Reaper is still that inferior Bakugan who wasn’t good enough for his Alice, so Hydranoid got rid of him. He’s being territorial, trying to defend his place alongside Alice now that Reaper has returned, and also ‘redeem’ himself for being captured by the Vexos. While Reaper’s dignity is not dependent on whether he can beat Hydranoid, I think it’s still a nice treat for Reaper, and a necessary wake-up call for Hydranoid, for Reaper to be the one who saves him after all, this time.

         So now we have Hydranoid coming to terms with HIS own weakness and failure, that sort of thing. If Marucho can have two talking Guardian Bakugan, one returning from S1 while the other is new with S2, so can Alice! Also, I guess this means we have an arc where Spectra captures Reaper, and Alice has to team up with Exedra to rescue him…

         I should add; One of the first battles Hydranoid has after reuniting with Alice? It’s him finally measuring up in-person against Hades, and just like in canon, it ends with his mechanical replacement obliterated in a single shot. After surviving previous losses with other opponents, Hades crumples in its first battle with the real deal, opening up for MAC Spider to take over. And, since Alice’s battle here isn’t as important (since she’s already garnered plenty of wins beforehand in NV as the protagonist), I guess we can have Hydranoid be defeated by MAC Spider, and perhaps this is the incident in which Reaper steps up to save him! Either way, Alice wins the overall battle, as she should.

         This also gets me back to Spectra Phantom and Helios, who themselves are dark reflections of Alice/Masquerade. They’re both motivated to become stronger, and from what I understand, in canon Spectra heads over to the good side after being shown that the Power of Friendship really is the best way to become powerful.

         So in other words, his redemption is arguably not altruistic; It’s merely Spectra being offered a legitimate option and taking it. He’s embracing the side of good because he expects a reward for it, that being a strengthened bond between him and Helios that will enable them to access that elusive Power of Friendship. And I think we could really work with this by exploring some proper tension with Spectra as an ally now, given his motives to become one.

         Pragmatically speaking, it’s better for the world if Spectra is with them, not against them. But as our protagonists interact with him, again, it becomes clear that Spectra is treating his ‘redemption’ as some sort of transaction, a different type of grab for power. So part of his storyline is being exposed to enough kindness and compassion that he realizes he should appreciate it for its own sake, not for the practical benefits it might bring.

         Hydranoid is of course super salty towards Spectra; He participated in his torture. Likewise, it’s this fact that added an additional personal layer between Alice and Spectra’s conflict. Hydranoid demands how they could possibly forgive Spectra for all the wrong he’s committed, but then Reaper cheekily asks the same of Hydranoid himself; Hydranoid was no saint, he sent many Bakugan to the Doom Dimension, as did Reaper.

         So they have no place to talk, Reaper figures, so he’s a bit more at peace with this. Reaper likes being given a chance to work on himself and change for the better, so he’s willing to grant that to others, becoming more compassionate. And keep in mind, he was temporarily under Spectra’s control before Alice and Exedra saved him, so Reaper has some stake too!

         As our protagonists learn to interact with Spectra in a non-adversarial setting, we see Reaper and Hydranoid reach out to Helios, and help Helios come to terms with his own vulnerability and shortcomings, and thus become less toxically obsessed with becoming stronger to compensate. Helios is less punishing of himself, and thus less reliant on becoming a cyborg, which could be seen as symbolic of self-harm in a sense; This culminates in Mechtanium Surge, in which Helios seems more organic since his redemption!

         Likewise, there is SO much awkwardness between Alice and Spectra. Alice is rightfully mad at him for… basically everything, though she does concede, when Spectra brings it up, that she did kinda assume and project a lot of stuff onto him. Spectra still took advantage of it, but Alice was the one who showed up out of nowhere and insisted they were parallels. Reflecting on her own past and motives, Alice explores Spectra’s reason to seek power, and perhaps a loneliness/inadequacy he also struggles with. He’s a lot less of a Poor Meow-Meow compared to Alice regarding their ‘origin’ stories, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t anything there, whatsoever.

         And as I said, Spectra learns to appreciate compassion for its own sake, and not as a roundabout means of becoming stronger. He sees that Alice’s kindness is a strength in its own right, that continuing to be hopeful and compassionate even in the face of adversity is not foolishness, but true perseverance. Spectra gains a new appreciation for Alice, and also begins to take accountability for his own actions, working to undo the harm he inflicted. What started off as basically a professional alliance becomes personal and meaningful to him, now.

         Alice still has to maintain boundaries around Spectra, who also learns to navigate and respect the distrust that others, especially Hydranoid, still have towards him. And this goes hand-in-hand with his reconciliation with Mira, who probably becomes more aware and accepting of Keith’s flaws, and condemning of them; Meaning Keith really does have to earn back her trust and approval this time. Neither Alice nor Keith feel entitled to forgiveness, but that doesn’t stop them from focusing on just doing actual good for the world regardless. Keith learns to stop hiding behind a mask, and also open up, as Helios and Alice and others do.

         That’s the general gist of Alice’s storyline here; Her grappling with her past self as Masquerade, with the guilt of what she did as him. Exploring and bridging the apparent gap between these two identities. There’s a bit of gender discussion in Alice accepting the ‘feminine’ aspect of herself, the soft and kind person, as being just as strong and meaningful as the more aggressive and masculine Masquerade, whom she may have subconsciously embraced out of internalized misogyny (while also still allowing herself to defy gender expectations). 

        Alice has become stronger, but she also learns to forgive and appreciate her ‘weaker’ past self who got her there, as Masquerade forgives the vulnerability of others. Progress is progress, be it learning to stand up for who you are, or make up for the harm you’ve caused. Forgiveness is the major theme, not just by Alice towards her own sins as Masquerade, but her supposed shortcomings as Alice herself. She’ll move on, but not deny one part to embrace another.

[raayllum]

1 - favorite fic you wrote this year. 3 - favorite line/scene you wrote this year. 12 - favorite character to write about this year. 14 - a fic you didn’t expect to write. 21 - most memorable comment/review. And 24 - favorite fic you read this year.

I have no precision on fandom or fic... You are free to choose which fandom. Thus, you may make us discover other universes.

1) favourite fic you wrote this year

Looked through and discovered that I wrote 20 fics this year, which is wild, even if the majority are oneshots so... certainly have my pick an picks for various reasons!

These are the ones, probably:

This Fall Might Just Kill Me is 10.2k of Callum trying and failing to get purified, post-S4, and was one of my favourites and one I return to pretty often for a personal re-read. Very Callum/Rayla centric, some magic worldbuilding, and lots of devotion. Oneshot

Twice as Many Stars is 8.7k of Sir Sparklepuff is an existential horror story, the fic, featuring more religious trauma allegory than expected. Also a oneshot

Teach Me How to Name the Bigger Light a fanon s6 currently of 5 out of roughly 26-30ish chapters, and at 41k and counting. Main characters are Callum, Ezran, Rayla, and Claudia in about that order. It's a lot of fun, and a lot of angst

3) favourite line/scene this year

"If it's not you, it's not anyone" has one of my favourite love / Rayllum confessions I've ever written. I also loved this line from a (now non canon) fic regarding Kpp'Ar's feelings on Callum/people "There are many ways to mend broken things, if you can". I deeply enjoyed Callum threatening Nyx over Rayla's safety in this pre-S5 fic and this piece of description as well: "Callum knelt down in front of her, her cheeks heating as he reached up and pried the shawl away again, looking at the way the scar crept over her shoulder like dark ivy" + this Rayllum passage from "this fall just might kill me" (edit in the link):

“It’s because if I die,” he said, squeezing her hands. “I want you to be the last thing I ever see. And you are good enough, Rayla. You are . I don’t care if you destroy me. I don't care if we make each other better or worse or both. I love you. I’ll fall for you every time. I’ll choose to, I’ll choose you, every time.” 

I also really enjoyed writing Callum and Lujanne in "older but just never wiser" because it was interesting to revisit their dynamic now that well, Callum is older, powerful, and much more jaded/angry.

Drabbles wise this Rayllum one has one of my favourite metaphoric uses I've ever been able to pull off and I always love 1) writing messy Ezran and 2) Ezran being a little done with his brother's less than favourable methods, so this one for Ezran's "underhanded" comment for sure

But if I had to pick a singular exchange fic wise, it is of course the end of the Callum and Ezran fight from Ch4 of fanon s6, because it was a line that hurt me so much I was sad the rest of the day, and I also thought of it before writing a decent chunk of the boys' argument, so making sure it felt earned and hit the way I wanted to was very fun if also angsty. I apologize in advance lmao:

Only this time Callum scoffed, peeling away, his green eyes glinting. “Yeah, right.”  “I am your king and I forbid you—” “You don’t get to forbid me from doing anything because guess what?” A manic gleam overtook his brother’s face. “I don’t fucking care what you think, nevermind what you fucking decree. I’m freeing Runaan, and that’s final.”  “Then you can do it without my help,” Ezran said with a ragged breath. “Because I am not giving you my seal.”  Callum stared at him with cold eyes. “Dad would be so disappointed in you.” But this time Ezran was ready for the blow, as he said, “Well at least I called him Dad."

A shameless plug OG fantasy world wise was definitely this lines from my sequel WIP. You can learn more about it/the fantasy world here <3

The Alpha of the Crescents may have worn her old friend’s face and mannerisms, but the girls they’d both been were long dead, just like their families.  It was time to finish the job and bury them.

as well as

“Good. Vita willing I won’t live to see your next lives.” “Because seeing you again has been so pleasant,” Jamie muttered.

from book one

12) favourite character to write about this year

Given my above answers it's clearly been Callum, but Ezran has probably been my standout in "teach me how to name the bigger light," easy, even if I think Rayla's POV is going to sneak up on me more and more as the fic goes on, especially once we reach the chapters at the Starscraper. I've also written a somewhat decent amount of Kpp'Ar POV this year, I loved writing Claudia in "twice as many stars" in particular. Everyone? Can I say everyone?

But if I had to pick, Callum. (Non fic wise it's all the OG chosen one kiddos running around, I love 'em.)

14) a fic you didn't expect to write

Many days of angry muttering and half concocted plot points predated "teach me how to name the bigger light" and I am still slightly internally salty about it. However, it does feel good to have one last fanon season foray, especially since it's been four years since the last one, and I've been having a fucking blast, lemme tell you.

21) most memorable comment/review

This is hard because I do cherish every review and kind word I get (as well as anyone who leaves notes in their bookmarks) but there are some standouts. Basically anything from twice as many stars is fair game as well as this review on fanon s6, cause I'm gonna go the typical write route and say the long bois make my day / when readers catch onto the smaller details, that's absolutely my favourite:

@inamindfarfaraway <3 hope you've enjoyed the most recent chapter!

24) favourite fic you read this year

Have already done some TDP fic recs here so I'm gonna focus on what's in my bookmarks for now! I mostly read LOZ or SOC fics when I'm not making my way through TDP backlog, but this one for Six of Crows centreing on Inej and Kaz called High Wire Act stood out to me and I'm really enjoying "for the children we couldn't be" for TDP because it's trio centric and the exact kind of time travel fuckery I like to read.

This is tricky, though, cause I find most often the favourite things I participate in is like, the stuff I write because it's what I want to read and most tailored to my specific tastes? I also just don't read as much fic as I could / have in the past and it's hard to pick Just One Fic, y'know? So cop out answer, maybe, but this is the one!

[lorahgames]

Collar x Malice: Full Review

Console: Nintendo Switch

Total Play Time: 60 hours

Lorah Game Rating: 9.5/10

--------

I finally did it; I stuck with one single otome game, and finished it up!

Although CxM is my first blog post, I am not new to otome. I like to think I have a fair bit of experience to chalk up a decent review about these games, so this is my go at it!

SYNOPSIS: Collar x Malice takes place in a quarantined Shinjuku, Japan, where citizens live in fear of Adonis, a criminal organization that believes it will revitalize Japan with its own warped sense of justice and judgement. The story begins when Ichika Hoshino, a rookie cop, is attacked and has a poisonous collar placed around her neck by Adonis, who declare they are testing her as they believe she has potential to be one of their sympathizers. Ichika must now work with a group of ex-cops to discover the truth behind the Adonis crimes and to remove her collar.

TIME TO BEGIN THE REVIEW!

I was absolutely blown away by Collar x Malice. Don't get me wrong, I love all the otome games I play, but this one topped the charts for me. I am very, very particular when it comes to what I like and dislike about otome. I absolutely can't stand when the story is boring, but also don't like when the plot takes away from the romances with the love interests. I think CxM has perfected the balance of story-to-romance. I found myself both wanting to solve the mystery of the game while also loving the time I got to spend with each of the LIs. Of course, some routes I found better than others, but that's to be expected! I genuinely enjoyed each of the LIs and what they had to offer. Usually, there will be a LI or two I'm not too fond of, but let me say, all these boys have replay-ability. I will be revisiting this game again.

My first impressions were so-so; they are almost always completely based off of the LIs' designs (lol, a little bit shallow but what can you do). I definitely had preferences towards Yanagi and Okazaki initially. I was indifferent to Sasazuka, and did not feel like I would enjoy Enomoto and Shiraishi all that much. But let me tell you this.

DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. PLS.

Mineo Enomoto

Honestly, I played this man first to get him over with. LOL. I hate to say it now. Enomoto gave off middle school vibes, and it wasn't for me in the beginning. BUT. He really grew on me! Honestly, for being THAT character, you know, the one with no experience with girls, it ended up being super cute. Once you got past the eyepatch thing, he was truly a really good guy and it was adorable to see his relationship develop with Ichika. Definitely not a story heavy chapter, and was a great light introduction to the game, especially with how the game gets darker later on. Enomoto wasn't my favourite, but I still am excited to play his after-story in CxM unlimited.

Takeru Sasazuka

Oh, Sasazuka. Your route was great.

This man was a tsundere if I've ever seen one. He was curt, he was rude, but he was such a good LI. I actually found Sasazuka's backstory to be really good, especially the role it plays in the plot. He had MEGA character development from the beginning of the route to finish. It was lovely to see him fall so hard for Ichika, who he had been calling stupid cat for half the game. Not to mention, Sasazuka's CGs are FINEEEE. I hit that Switch screenshot button a few times. Funny enough, when I went to go play Yanagi's route it didn't register my completion of Sasazuka's, so I actually had to play his route twice. Of course, I sped through most of the dialogue, but I did find myself stopping to replay and read the cute moments between him and Ichika. I enjoyed them as much as I did the first time. I really enjoyed both LI and plot in this route.

Kageyuki Shiraishi

I played Shiraishi's route fourth. At this point, I had a good gist of how the story was flowing, but I did NOT expect the plot twist of Shiraishi's route! I was hesistant to even play Shiraishi at all, because long-haired men (not to mention the cat aesthetic he has going on) aren't usually my thing. Personally, I loved the route's plot more than I did the romance with Shiraishi. This isn't me saying he was bad, but his story was so well done, it's hard to not like it more. I found with Shiraishi, he was slightly overhyped in online reviews. A lot of people say Shiraishi is their favourite from the game, but he wasn't mine. I think I went in with my expectations a bit too high, especially after how much I loved Okazaki's route. At the climax of his route, I felt things were a bit rushed because I was confused as to what was going on, but it was such a minor confusion that I figured things out pretty quickly. Again, I'm really looking forward to playing his after-story!

Aigi Yanagi

It took forever to finally get to Yanagi's route. Honestly at the point I finally got to play his route, he has been a side character for so long that it was hard not to see him that way (LOL, sorry Yanagi!). One thing I was surprised about was that Yanagi's route really put romance on the back-burner and put the story in the front. I get it, since Yanagi's route was the big reveal and finale, and honestly it really worked for the overall story. It's not like Yanagi's route wasn't romantic, but it was a little hard to focus on him when you could feel the Adonis leader's identity reveal just around the corner. Yanagi also had the longest route, with seven chapters instead of six. I would say he got some of the best CGs of the game, probably since he is the poster child of CxM. The whole Yanagi backstory is absolutely fantastic as well, and they did a really good job diving deep into his character.

Kei Okazaki

Of course, I had to leave Okazaki for last. Okazaki is by far my favourite Collar x Malice LI and may quite literally be overtaking Toma (Amnesia) for the top spot of them all. I knew I would love Okazaki from the start and I was right. I love his character design, the voice acting, aloof personality, route story, EVERYTHING. While I would not classify Okazaki as any sort of yandere (my favourite trope), he checked all the boxes I usually look for in my LIs (self-sacrificing, obsessive, etc). His entire life outlook changed after getting close with Ichika, and was it ever emotional seeing him go though all that inner turmoil. Let me tell you, this man had me RUNNING to Collar x Malice Unlimited for more. The amount of times he popped up in Yanagi's route made me want to just go replay his route again. Not to mention, his tragic love ending has to be the best in the game. I accidently got it by misclicking, but holy crap?? The CG was crazy! And once you get the tragic love end, you get the bonus CG, which also happens to be my favourite from the game. Anyway, this game has left me an Okazaki fan through-and-through, as well as clogged up my Switch library with screenshots of his face. I could say A LOT more, but trying to leave this spoiler-free for friends who potentially want to play.

Kei best boy <3

Do I recommend Collar x Malice? Of course!

The game really hits both the story component and romance component, and I definitely got my money's worth with over 60 hours of gameplay. Of course, there are some minor bugs (looking at you, Sasasuka route) where dialogue seems to be misplaced or the self-inserted name still comes up as Ichika, but believe me, this was so minor and infrequent that I don't think it affected the overall quality of the game.

I am actually sad that the game is over! I'm scared to finish Unlimited too, because what will I do then?!

Overall, Collar x Malice definitely left a lasting impression on me and has become one of my favourite otome. I had a blast playing it and will definitely be back to do it all again. I hope I can break free of my habit of comparing every LI to my favourite, because Okazaki will be hard as hell to beat.

Thanks for reading my review !

LORAH

[thefirstempress]

Some background on The First Empress

So the following excerpt was going to be my original foreword for The First Empress. Last October, however, I was informed in a rejection letter that the foreword was too long (among other, more homophobic reasons for rejecting it). Then, when I looked up how to write a foreword, I found out that, at least in fiction, it's customary to have someone else write it for you. While Matthew Keville (@matthewkeville) was kind enough to write my new foreword, I kept the original foreword, and at a beta reader's suggestion I think I'm going to use it as an "About" page for my website. Content warning for background and personal history.

I think it was fall semester of 2002 at Boise State University. During one of my literature courses, the professor was highly impressed with my reading responses for Homer’s Iliad, particularly in regards to my observation that the story is in no way a conflict between good and evil. And I liked that about it. I liked that there were noble and ignoble characters as well as likable and unlikable characters on both sides of the conflict. In his notes on one of my responses, Professor Jim recommended that I read Thucydides’s History of the Peloponnesian War, which began my interest in ancient history in general and Classical Greece in particular. One of my college friends owned a lovely little coffeehouse/used bookstore for several years, and I bought many volumes out of her ancient history section.

In the late ‘00s, I developed acute depression/anxiety while working on my Master’s Degree in Literature. Though I somehow managed to complete my degree, my depression became so severe that in 2011 I had to step down from a teaching job I loved beside colleagues I liked, because I couldn’t function well enough to fulfill my duties outside the classroom. I decided it was horribly unfair to my students that they couldn’t count on me to do my part, so I walked away. I made the most painful decision I’ve made in my life and stepped down from a job I’d spent three years studying and training for.

My first successful step toward recovery came when I started writing for myself again. No more thirty-page theses, no more ten-page research papers written over the weekend, no more feedback on forty-to-sixty student papers. I typed up some story concepts and revisited some old stories that I hadn’t looked at in a decade. I started a blog, and then a side-blog, and then a Tumblr page to go with the side-blog. I even started a fan-fiction account that features mostly The Legend of Korra novellas and Star Wars one-shots.

During the summer of 2012, I wrote several chapters of a young-adult fantasy novel in a high- to late-medieval setting, featuring a young, somewhat Mary-Sue heroine whose wizened mentor was named Zahnia, the Chronicler—an immortal historian trapped forever as a nine-year-old girl. As I started to flesh out Zahnia’s character, I decided I wanted to explore her origin story, tying it in with the creation of the Tollesian Empire, where the story takes place. For National Novel Writing Month 2012, I began work on the first draft of The First Empress and spent over ten years tinkering, expanding, and revising in my free time. But the more I worked on the story, the bigger it got. George RR Martin once described a spectrum of writers, ranging from architects who outline and design the structure and foundation of their story before they start writing, to gardeners who plant the seeds of the story, then let it grow, expand, and develop organically. I’m very much the ­garden-variety writer.

And so the story kept getting bigger, both in my head and on paper. I fell short of the original 50K word goal by over 10K, but felt like I had a pretty solid start. By the end of that first NaNoWriMo, I knew that it was probably going to be multiple books, so I narrowed down what I wanted to include in Book I and started focusing on those story lines. The original story was to be two separate stories that converge at the end of Book I, with the main story focusing on the title protagonist, Queen Viarra, and the first year of her rise to power, while the background story focuses on Zahnia, the curse of her immortality, and her escape from her captors. In the original outline, Book I would end with our characters first meeting.

Even in the early stages, however, it was extremely difficult to reconcile the two stories. Viarra’s story was over twice the size of Zahnia’s and, for the most part, more exciting for my beta-readers. Zahnia’s scenes often felt like unwelcome interruptions, rather than interesting interludes, and were difficult to intersperse side-by-side with scenes happening in Viarra’s story. At some point in the process, I stopped trying to intersperse them and made Zahnia’s scenes separate chapters. While this worked better, there could be as many as four or five Viarra chapters between Zahnia chapters, and some of my readers pointed out that they sometimes had to go back and reread previous Zahnia chapters to understand what was happening in the latest chapter. I occasionally thought about taking Zahnia’s story out altogether and making it its own novel.

I made my ultimate decision on the matter in July of 2021 when I finally finished the first complete draft of The First Empress. The draft weighed in at over 206K words—which I knew was a lot, but I didn’t grasp the full size until one of my readers pointed out that in paperback format, that’s over eight-hundred pages! I decided almost immediately that the best option was to split them up into three books. Books I and II now deal entirely with the first year of Viarra’s rise to power, meeting Zahnia, her future chronicler, at the end of Book II. Book III is instead mostly about Zahnia’s origins, including her curse of immortality and her daring escape from the madmen who cursed her. This worked out wonderfully as it allowed me to break the revision process into smaller chunks instead of attempting to revise 800 pages in one go.

Though Zahnia isn’t physically present for Book I and only gets a single scene in Book II, I make sure she’s still present in spirit throughout both books. In homage to classic fantasy stories like Frank Herbert’s Dune or Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series, I include epigrams written by Zahnia at the beginning of each chapter. Additionally, all footnotes and appendices are also by her. Despite her unavoidable sidelining in what was supposed to be her origin story, Zahnia became something of an alter-ego for me, and I want readers to understand that she is still a foundational character in the series.

While brainstorming leading up to that first NaNoWriMo, I decided to put my studies of Ancient Greek history to use, basing the setting and culture on the late-Classical, early-Hellenic Aegean Sea and the surrounding regions. The culture, politics, and technology—both in how they begin and how they advance as the series progresses—are intended to feel similar to the cultural, political, and technological changes occurring in the wake of the Peloponnesian War through the rise of Kings Philip II and Alexander the Great and beyond. Indeed, Philip and to a lesser degree Alexander were both inspirations for Queen Viarraluca, my title heroine.

(That being said, I don’t tend to view any of my characters as being an equivalent of X figure from Greek history. I drew inspiration from many historical and fictional characters for my cast, but I don’t have a story-world equivalent of Socrates or Pericles or Leonidas or Sappho or Olympias or whoever.)

The setting, though, is less intended to feel historically accurate and more about feeling historically authentic. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a hobbyist historian who hasn’t taken a history course since early in my undergrad studies. Thus, all of my reading and research is unguided, and I have no idea how well my understanding and analyses align with contemporary views. Ultimately, The First Empress is an ancient-world period-fantasy that’s inspired by rather than entirely representative of late-Classical Greece.

Throughout the process, I loved playing with the ancient-world world-building and found perverse enjoyment in taking pagan gods’ names in vain, portraying ancient inventions as new and exciting technology, and treating pants as an unusual and barbarian garment. But as a fantasy, I of course included plenty of embellishments. Sometimes world-building is brainstorming how an intelligent warrior queen and her officers would attempt to adapt a hoplite-centered army to fighting in forested terrain, generally considered unfavorable to phalanx warfare. Sometimes world-building is giving a society based on the Ancient Greeks access to tea, despite zero evidence that the Ancient Greeks had anything similar to tea, all because my warrior-queen protagonist seems like a tea-drinker.

I tried as well to include neighboring cultures inspired by those the Classical Greeks had contact with. The Tollesians are inspired by Classical Greece—the Empire Pellastor and its allies being akin to the Attic and Peloponnesian Greeks while the Hegemony of Andivel and their allies are more like the Ionian Greeks. The Illaran League was originally inspired by the Ancient Illyrians but evolved into more of an Illyrian/Macedonian hybrid. The Gan are inspired by the Gauls. The Venarri are Phoenician. The Artilans are Achaemenid-era Persian. The Kossôn are Achaemenid-era Egyptian. The Wattasu are inspired by Classical-era Nasamones. And the Verleki are largely inspired by the Ancient Scythians. I want to emphasize inspired by, as I’m not an expert on any of these ancient cultures. I have no illusions that I didn’t make mistakes or misinterpret things. I also eventually hope to include cultures inspired by the Samnites, Germanic tribes, Kushites, and possibly even cultures as distant as the Han and Mayans.

Experimenting with ancient-world cultures and in particular with ancient-world sexuality has been some of the most fun I’ve had writing. The Classical Greeks were an openly sexual culture, openly bisexual and often polyamorous. Rather than gloss over their sexuality like a coward, I chose to let my characters embrace it in the story. In doing so, I quickly decided that authors who only write monogamous, heterosexual relationships are missing out on all kinds of wonderful and fascinating relationship dynamics. Queen Viarra is a lesbian, and nearly all of the other characters fall somewhere on a pan- or bisexual spectrum. Zahnia, meanwhile, is asexual, as is one of Viarra’s ambassadors. I have a transgender hoplite officer, as well, and I have other characters in mind for future LGBT+ representation. As bisexuality was normal and even expected in Classical Greek culture, I try to treat it as something normal in my stories as well.

Though so far only one person has asked me why I’d include LGBT+ characters when I’m not LGBT myself, my answer to them and anyone else is that positive representation is important. Louie, my therapist, shared an anecdote during one of our sessions back in 2021 and gave me permission to share with readers. He was hosting some friends of his family for a few days, including his childhood friend who is a lesbian. His copy of my manuscript was lying around, and he started telling them about my lesbian title protagonist who’s also a strong ruler and a formidable warrior queen. His friend was very curious and asked smart questions about the character and story-world. Louie told me that she almost teary-eyed asked him to thank me for writing the characters as gay. She apparently was thrilled not only at the gay representation from the leading couple, but also at the bi representation from other characters.

When a gay woman in her late forties gets teary-eyed at the inclusion of a lesbian couple in a period-fantasy novel, I think it’s a sign that this kind of representation is absolutely necessary.

On the other hand, there were other aspects of Classical Greek culture that I wasn’t as keen about attempting to portray. The Greeks at the time were notoriously misogynist, for example. Much of Greek culture viewed women as property. Athens in particular had all kinds of laws restricting women, including a truly heinous law specifying that female slaves’ court testimonies were only valid if they testified under torture. I did away with a lot of that in my story-world. Scythians, Illyrians, Nubians, Sarmatians, Lusitanians, Suebi, Gauls: plenty of ancient cultures had traditions of skilled huntresses, warrior women, women pirates, influential queens and noblewomen, and successful businesswomen. Philip II of Macedon’s first wife was warrior queen, and he allowed their daughter and granddaughter to be trained in the same manner. That the Classical Greeks couldn’t get with the program is frankly their loss.

As this is my story-world and my tale to tell, I saw no particular reason to carry on that tradition. Queen Viarra isn’t the only powerful queen in the story, nor is she the only woman-warrior in hoplite’s panoply. Though a certain level of misogyny exists, it’s on the level of individual characters or communities, rather than a cultural norm.

Why?

Because it doesn’t have to be a norm! It’s fiction! Misogyny and sexism don’t have to be normal! Racism doesn’t have to be normal! Homophobia and transphobia don’t have to be normal! I shouldn’t have to create a hateful story in order to meet some mouth-breathing neoclassicist’s concept of historical accuracy. One of the best things I learned from reading Effie Calvin and Garrett Robinson’s novels is that truly excellent and inclusive stories with engaging characters, world-building, and conflicts can be created without some need to incorporate real-world prejudices. And when these prejudices do show up in The First Empress, I try to set them up as criticisms of ancient society, rather than something I lazily included for some pretense of “historical accuracy.”

At least three of my beta-readers compared The First Empress favorably to George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. (To paraphrase one of my Tumblr readers, any fantasy with historical inspiration and more politics than wizards will draw Game of Thrones comparisons.) Even so, not only would I never assume to be in the same league as an award-winning fantasy author whose stories have sold countless millions of copies and gotten their own popular television adaptation, I don’t feel like Martin’s goals as a storyteller are at all similar to mine. His stories seem to place the most emphasis on shocking readers—and he’s unparalleled at it! My goal is to give readers a lot to think about. Hopefully I pull that off well.Plus, if readers can handle A Song of Ice and Fire… I think The First Empress might seem a little mellow by comparison.

Thanks so much for your interest in my book, folks. I hope you find my story and characters entertaining, interesting, thought-provoking, or at the very least enjoyable to read. Thanks for reading and take care!

[jeanmoreaux]

girl i think it's hilarious how we're having mirror experiences with mine with Peeta's character, and yours with Gale 😂 how the turntables !

when i was much younger i preferred Gale simply because I felt he was far more capable of being a protector (in the very practical and physical sense); & his childhood bond with the protagonist--there was already friendship and trust between the characters. and I knew he understood what being an eldest sibling was like, the responsibility and the burdens.

i could not understand Peeta for a very long time even when i accepted of course he was the right person to be with Katniss through and at the end of it all. but now i see parts of myself in Peeta (both in my own nature and through my own life experiences/active choices I make now) and isn't this both a very bizarre yet magical thing about growing up and revisiting stories

love that development for us! it's all a about the growth. it truly is hilarious how closely our arcs mirror each other.

ngl while i am thee friends-to-lovers girlie gale did so not catch my interest when i was younger. there was just something about him that didn’t click for me, whereas peeta made so much sense to me. i do have a soft spot for characters like him—a little bit gentle, a little bit idealistic. and gale, in comparison, was so much more intense in his views and little baby tween did not know what to do with that. BUT NOW. oh let me tell you, i do see more than hints of myself in him. the sense of loyalty not just to individual people but humanity as a whole. the sometimes stoic but practical nature. the at times scorching and radical anger…. i don’t think i really understood him and refused to see his trauma in a broader context. he is a teenage boy fighting in a war against a system that reminded him daily that it wants him and his loved ones dead. like. you cannot walk away from that without a splinter lodge somewhere deep inside of you.

and while i still don’t see katniss and gale as a romantic couple, their friendship has become so precious to me. and the way they drift and grow apart over the course of the trilogy is probably one of the lost painful things to witness. because you (as the reader) know it’s happening and katniss and gale know it’s happening but they both hope that they can work through it, that they can hold onto each other and be okay again. but it happens slowly and the all at once. they fall apart and with that the last part of their old selves and their old lives slipping through their fingers. they look into the eyes of their best friend, the person they have loved and trusted and relied on for years, and they do not recognise each other anymore. and it’s the most sobering realisation that they cannot salvage their relationship. that somewhere along the way they have lost each other completely. and when they part that final time they almost part as strangers and it’s so devastating it has me on my knees 🧎‍♀️ in the end their friendship is just another thing the war cost them. another price they paid for the sake of the greater good.

[batrachised]

My reread of the Aogg series has been an absolute pleasure. Here are my thoughts on the first three books; I think of these as being their own set, because they tell the story of Gilbert and Anne's relationship. The only other book that focuses on them and their relationship consistently is AHOD--which I think will be deserving of its own post because tonally it's slightly different, more mature due to a more mature Anne. (Anne of Windy Poplars, I love you, but again my memory is mostly letters to Gilbert about other events--mayhaps I shall eat my words).

Anne of Green Gables

You know, I never revisited the first book because it wasn't my favorite--but reading it, I can tell why this one is the classic. Anne is a lovable eleven year old, the characters are all to a one delightful, the antics believable yet entertaining, and the conflicts all pointing to an overarching story of growth and love. I love how Marilla only can tell Anne that Marilla loves her after Matthew's death, and that Anne only becomes friends with Gilbert after hearing of Marilla's past with John Blythe. I love, above all, the moment where Matthew softly tells Anne to keep a little of her romance. What's remarkable is how, although most readers are in very different circumstances than little Anne, it's so easy to understand where Anne is coming from--because she tells you! "Wouldn't you be this dramatic if you were me?" "Oh, Marilla, you’d be excited, too, if you were going to meet a little girl you hoped to be your bosom friend and whose mother mightn’t like you," shivers tiny Anne, and the reader instantly understands, even if not eleven, or not a little girl, or not on PEI in the late 1800s--why yes, that would be nerve wracking! We even see this in Mark Twain's quote about Anne being so lovable, a man who most definitely was never an eleven year old orphan girl. Despite my love for LM Montgomery, there are off key chords in all of her other books for me--but this book sticks the landing every time. The ending sentence is my favorite of all of LMM's endings; "God's in his heaven, all's right with his world."

Anne of Avonlea

My love for Mr. Harrison was reinvigorated. I had forgotten about him completely and shamefully, and I'm delighted to have rediscovered him. That being said...this is a book where I tend to like specific chapters instead of the book as a whole. Even as a child, I remember flipping to my favorite chapters rather than rereading the book all the way through, and even as an adult (deep dark confession), I skipped pages more than once. My favorite chapters include the Mr. Harrison chronicles and the brief glimpses with Gilbert that we get, where Anne has to confront whether her daydreams are perhaps not true to life (and--importantly--that true to life romance might be better). I also, for one, love Mrs. Lynde and Marilla living together. Queens.

Anne of the Island

My primary thought: AAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD. I truly have little else to say. This is one I read so often as a child that the passages were familiar to me even now, over a decade later. I remember as a child when rereading, I'd read the first proposal scene with Anne and then immediately rush to the ending chapters where they get together for catharsis haha--if I didn't, I had to skip the first proposal chapter because ANNE HOW COULD YOUUUU. I love Phil Gordon so much, and I love Jonas even though he's barely onscreen, and I love Mrs. Lynde ominously fretting over whether Anne is going to marry, and I love Ms. Lavender frankly saying to Anne that she and Gilbert were made for each other. I also love the book's tendency to build up romantic moments and expectations and then deliberately pop them haha. LM Montgomery really showcases her ability to understand human's quirks and love them for it--while also laughing at them for it. I'm going to do a full post on this (and on LMM's genius for pairing contrasting personalities in a non-tropey way), but this is a good example of what I mean--because who of us hasn't been like ":(" and then enjoyed being like ":(".

Oh, Anne! The only other thing I have to say is that it says a lot that I started this a few days ago, and I'm already three books in! The quality holds up even as an adult (as if I expected any differently). LMM dedicated Anne of the Island to me, and to you, and to all other girlies who love her work, and I very much feel her love in the pages.

[nono-bunny]

I loooove how the magic festival and the wild hunt are both revisiting the ideas from Enchated Parade! It and the first movie are both brilliant and I personally never neglect to watch them alongside the series, but... Yeah, they sorta follow a different canon because LWA was never meant to get a full series initially, and even though I could've sworn they used to be on Netflix alongside the show, they aren't available there anymore. Despite being the originators, they seem to have become sorta harder to find, which really is a shame because of how great they are, but!! The series truly does a magnificent job at re-presenting the battle visuals, the red trio's friendship crisis, and in furthee developing the green trio-aside from Jasminka, my girl was ROBBED!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH HER STOMACH DEMON??? She's still the best though and I love her a bunch

Anyway the wild hunt is such a cute episode, it's somehow always both surprising and makes complete sense that Akko is a complete nerd even in matters unrelated to Chariot.

Tbh I do really wish we got an episode focusing on Constanze and Croix, because even without this episode to hint at an unseen mentorship between those two they feel like a no-brainer duo I would've LOVED to see interact. Like, Constanze is literally ALL ABOUT modern magic, there's just no way she doesn't idolize Croix and that she in turn doesn't take her under her wing- Constanze is incredibly gifted in Croix' exact field, and I can so easily see a version of the story where Constanze becomes her unwitting apprentice, it would've been so interesting to see her coming to terms with what she helped with, and have Croix later repent by propely helping and teaching her!!!! I GET why it's important that Croix fools Akko, and like, girl, same, I get it, she's hot- but fr I can't help but feel that it's a shame that other characters aside from Diana weren't more integrated with the main plot, even when it would have made sense for them to be. As much as I love all of their individual focus episodes (again, everyone except for my girl Jasminka) I feel like there was also room for them to be a bit more involved.

LWA had so many great ideas, and even though it actually got a relatively big amount of episodes to flesh them out in for a modern original anime (ESPECIALLY for a shoujo) I kinda can't help but be a bit sad sometimes when thinking about it because? There was so much stuff left a bit open ended, and so many ideas and concepts that weren't ever explored to their fullest potential, and like? If there ever was a show that ended perfectly while still leaving plenty of room for a sequel, LWA is definitely it. Every time I come to Cavendish I get a little sad and apprehensive about keeping on watching, because I never want it to end, and to me that episode signifies the beginning of the end of the show, and like. Sure, it's been six years... But by god, an announcement for a new season of this show would NEVER feel too late or out of place.

LWA academia is like, the one shoujo I didn't even have to try to convince my guy friends to watch, because as soon as one of them found it, he loved it and soon after all of them were watching it... And they still love it to this day! Legit, everyone I ever knew who watched this show loved it, because it has such a broad appeal and so much charm, and!! Fr istg so many people would love to see another season, even those who maybe only ever watched it once ages ago, as well as all of those who haven't watched it yet and might give it a shot in the hype of a new season

[furashuban]

A, D, J, K, L <33

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

I would say a tie between As High As The Moon Above and Fox and Owl <33 Both fics felt like they had the same flow and tone of an episode of a handful of my comfort shows and middle grade books, which I'd been hoping to achieve into my own writing and with these fics in particular. So not only were they the coziest experiences I've had writing (and revisiting my) fics thus far, but were also the beginning of how I wanted to make stories moving forward <33

They've got other individual reasons for being my favs: AHATMA is of course a fic about my favorite Hilda pairing and I'm not immune to Childhood AUs/headcanons of characters' childhoods, so it was fun to write my own take for Johanna and Kaisa (plus it has my favourite title of all my fics I just think it's perfect) :D meanwhile Fox and Owl was the first time I've made something based on someone's OCs and had a wonderful time making whilst also being my gift to you <333 and just that Emmy Torvaldsdottir is absolutely Best Girl™ and I love her and writing her <333

D: What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

It was a little tricky to think about, but I'm going with How It Used To Look Like since the fic was meant to somewhat lightheartedly portray a specific experience I had with gender dysphoria during my childhood.

J:  What’s your favorite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?

(Tooth-Rotting) Fluff, and yeee absolutely; it's kinda become my whole thing as a writer and generally what I enjoy reading the most, too sdgsdfw <33

K:  Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

Hmmm, none that come to mind :0 The closest I can think of is me consistently reading and writing about crackships/rarepairs if that counts??

L:  Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

I'm gonna cheat a little for this one and choose one of my original works instead of a fic—by far the story I was in complete and utter shambles to write the most was Close Your Frightened Eyes. I would even put it up there with the first prompt as one of my favourite works I've written :0

I'll never not get emotional writing and thinking about Flannel and Ramona together <33 Especially in a story about a child learning to face her fear with her parent comforting her along the way, and exploring Flannel's feelings and actions as one, I ended up crying in the middle of writing 'cause of it dsdfswfw <33 I still think about all the scenes where they embrace each other a lot, and actually revisiting the story makes me well up again; it's a strong but indescribable feeling being so attached to my own OCs <33

-Fanfic Writer Ask Meme-

[inu-mothership]

Inu-Mothership Spotlight Saturday Encore: March 11, 2023: MirSan!

Hi everyone! We here at @inu-mothership are pleased to revisit one of our very first fic rec lists that we ever did: MirSan!

In honor of MirSan Days 3/5 and 3/6 having just passed, we wanted to look back at some of the wonderful stories that have been posted since our original post in Oct. 2021. As always, stories are listed below the cut, in alphabetical order, with ratings and current status listed. We hope you find some new classics among them!

Barren (Series; E/M; ongoing) by @skyelara

Buried Past (T; complete) by Griddlebone (Ao3)

After a harrowing experience, Sango shares a secret from her past with Miroku.

Clandestine (E; ongoing) by @skyelara and @violetasteria

“I have decided to take you up on your proposition. I have a few ground rules, though.”

Miroku’s body stilled, staring up at her with disbelief. “Wait, are you serious? You really want to do this?”

“You scratch my back and I scratch yours. First ground rule. This is just to help each other out. No falling in love with each other, got it?”

He snorted. “Sango, I’ve been doing this for years. Trust me when I say, that won’t be an issue for me.”

The cold never bothered me anyway (M; complete) by streamsofstoriesandcolour (Ao3)/ @shade-without-color

Miroku and Sango, over a family dinner, recount their first meeting together on a blustery cold day.

The Cruelest Winter (M; ongoing) by AM78 (Ao3)

Two years after Kagome's return to the Feudal era, the inhabitants of her village are facing hard times, as a harsh winter has left them desperately short of needed supplies. At their most dire moment, Sango receives an offer from an old acquaintance. An offer so lucrative and dangerous that it could ensure the town's prospects for survival...if it doesn't eliminate her own.

The Distance Between Duty and Desire (M; complete) by annperkinsface (Ao3)

Somewhere in the distance between duty and desire Sango and Miroku exist in stolen moments, stolen breaths, but for all Miroku's thievery he has never stolen anything as precious as this, Sango straddling him with her eyes dark and intent, her hands curled around the back of his neck like a promise.

Failure to Communicate (T; complete) by @fawn-eyed-girl

When Sango misinterprets something she sees at a party, she refuses to talk to Miroku again, in order to save herself a broken heart. But when Miroku keeps texting her, can she really stay away?

Or: five times that Sango ignores Miroku's texts. And one time that she answers.

Games of Money & Matrimony (M, ongoing) by @violetasteria

The social season has fallen upon the ton, and Sango must finally find a husband this social season to restore her family's fortune and ensure her brother's future. She has her sights set on the rich and handsome Marquess of Asago, Lord Kuranosuke Takeda, but will her favor sway when a mysterious gentleman with deep blue eyes sweeps her off her feet?

It’s Nice to Have a Friend (T; complete) by @skyelara

Sango meets Miroku in first grade as a shy, new student to their school. A friendship starts that quickly turns into something stronger. However, Sango refuses to admit her feelings, especially when Miroku becomes known as something as a ladies man in High School. She's sure he only sees her as a best friend, a sister. But there's more than meets the eye when it comes to his feelings.

(Like) A Happy Dream (T; complete) by MadHatterLilith (Ao3)

Miroku always had some doubts about how their journey would end, but now he's living a life happier than the one he dreamed of.

My Children’s Childhood (G; complete) by @heynikkiyousofine

“How much farther?” Tiny legs struggled to keep up with his father’s as they walked the rocky path, a steep climb to a distant temple.

“Not too much longer, son.” He chuckled, holding out his free hand for him to take.

One Moment in Time: Chapter 6: Strength, and Chapter 7: Weakness (T; complete) by @jeremymarsh

One moment in time in our characters’ lives that could change them forever – or maybe not. 

Sense and Sensibility, An Inuyasha Retelling (T; ongoing) by @kalcia and @ruddcatha

When their father dies, the Higurashi sisters Sango and Kagome suddenly find their fortunes changed overnight. The sisters begin to find their own paths, as one learns to step away from the practical to learn to dream with the help of the dashing Miroku, and the other sees the importance of stability in a world of fancy with the steadfast Inuyasha. An adaptation of the Jane Austen Novel Sense and Sensibility.

Sins Week 2022: Chapter 7: Lust/Blue (M; complete) by @lavendertwilight89

Small Bites: Chapter 14: Root Canals and Yoga (T; complete) by @neutronstarchild

Sango needed a root canal, and it was going to cost an arm and a leg. Miroku offered help, by marrying her. It’s stupid, but so is tooth pain. And it’s simple. That is, until Sango walks in on Miroku’s morning routine. Has he… always been so bendy?

Sweet Surrender (T; complete) by @violetasteria

Every night when her friends weren’t looking, the hardest thoughts overtook her. Each morning, she continued on as if the darkness was not churning within her. As if she was not slowly dying inside at the mere thought of failing their group’s seemingly hopeless mission.

And it was working. She had them all fooled into thinking she was just fine, or so she thought.

To Fall in Love with Strangers (T; complete) by @witchygirl99

There are armed men attacking them, after a top secret program that Miroku’s only got written in his head. He’s spent the last few days being nearly killed at every opportunity, only alive because of the fiery, violent woman at his side. Miroku has thought, at least five times a day, that he’d like her to try and choke him with those thighs.

He’s probably losing far too much blood. Shit.

Undertow (T; complete) by @violetasteria

A talented swindler in a sleepy port city passes his days conning and scheming, but his whole world changes when his mark turns out to be a pirate.

What I Feel When Your Smile Shows (T; complete) by miss_coverly (Ao3)/ @lesbian-kyoru

“Oh. Right, my Valentine’s chocolates! What about them?”

If Kirara wouldn’t fly her away, Sango could always just run for the hills. Dive into the nearest river and swim away? Or maybe her Hiraikotsu could bear weight, and carry her past the horizon. The thing with the Hiraikotsu, though, was the fact that it was a boomerang.

And no matter what, boomerangs always brought you back to exactly where you started.

--

Sango asks about Valentine's Day chocolates. Kagome does what she does best: matchmaking.

Would You (G; complete) by Pipistrellus (Ao3)

[curioussubjects]

in which i revisit black market and it's worse somehow

for reasons even i find elusive, i read the transcript for rdm's podcast episode on "black market" (i know i know), but i really do appreciate the spirit behind this particular pod episode. i just. it's just. y'all....you cannot make this stuff up:

"there is no socioeconomic structure beyond the Rag Tag Fleet. There's no government. There's no social system. There's no nothing. Other than these particular ships. Isn't everything black market? Isn't everything to be bartered?" there's so much going on here. like. what do you mean there's no government or social system. the fleet literally has an executive and legislative branch. the executive literally has an enforcement arm through the military. ron please. 😭😭 the idea there's no social system is also bizarre when there's no indication the colonial social system wasn't reproduced down to caprican hegemony. also love the implication that the presence of a barter system nearly if not completely equates to the existence of a black market. that's. that-. hm. what i do think is interesting here though is that a black market existing isn't actually, imo, a foregone conclusion. that it exists at all suggests: 1. there seems to be no enforcement of the rule of law, 2. no regulation of trade, and 3. the government isn't adequately meeting the needs of the fleet with supply distribution.

sometimes i remember rdm has a polisci degree and i want to jump into a river.

but anyway, some of this stuff is discussed in the writer's room and all i can think about is how in the world did anybody think a topic this huge could fit into one standard episode of television. a lot of the bulk could be done in one episode, but you'd be returning to this as subplots and background commentary in future episodes.

"I was really disappointed in the show and myself and what we had done and didn't feel like the episode really had anything going for it." yeah man no fucking shit. you can't build a story out of vibes alone 😭

"You never quite get at the satisfaction of truly having gone through a plot that you had no idea where it was gonna go and you're shocked where it ended up. And you're not really sitting back and going, "My God. Lee Adama is nothing like I thought he was." It just doesn't- it falls in between. It's classically standing on the two chairs and falling in between both of them." the problem you're having is that you never connect what's going on with the black market plot with what's going on with lee. there's no line there beyond right place right time. clearly there's an ethical issue here in that lee is complicit with the black market. THAT'S what's interesting. our ethical center character, who values justice and the law is complicit in something that is happening outside of legal purview and also harms and exploits people. and then culminates with lee doing some light extrajudicial killing. but we never sit with any of it. much less see it play out in future episodes.

which is why this following bit kills me : "Tigh and Ellen and Ellen's involvement in the black market and she's getting things for Tigh, who is a senior officer in Galactica. There's a whiff of corruption here and what does it mean? We're not gonna- we don't take the easy way out. Tigh isn't shocked at what his wife is doing and promises never to do it again. He understands what she's doing. There is an implication that, "Who knows what else Ellen Tigh is doing with Commander Fisk?" I'm not sure that's a picture I want in my mind, but, ok. And Lee is also a bit dirty in this scene. Lee is also engaged in things that are probably not that above-board. There's an implication that Lee helped get the medicine for the little girl and probably went outside official channels. And it's a personal, emotional, confrontation with people with conflicted and conflicting motivations." THAT'S THE EPISODE! RIGHT THERE! YOU HAD IT!

the episode is about ethics, a government failing its people, and complacency. you want an episode of television without having to make a mini arc out of it? those are your themes.

then there's the clusterfuck that is the gianne/shevon/dee portion of the episode, which makes no gd sense AND HERE'S WHY LMAO: "It's not really getting to a place where we're explaining, or at least hinting, or making you think about what is the nature of the relationship between Dualla and Lee. Why is Lee interested in her and vice versa? What does it mean to him as a character? We had conversations in the writers' room that dealt with things like, "Well, Lee's got the girl he left behind on Caprica, he's seeing the prostitute, and then there's Dualla." So there's the classic- there's three women in Lee's life. One dead, two not. What does Dualla represent in that? What is- what is Dualla to Lee in juxtaposition to the dead woman and to the hooker with the little girl? Is she the hope? Is she the future? Is she something more realistic? Is the hooker the hope? There's a lot of ways you can just sit and talk about it endlessly about what it all represents, and it was all fascinating conversation. Unfortunately it just doesn't quite sync-in to what we have. You don't ever- you never quite get to a place where you're rooting for Lee and Dualla. I think that's might be the central problem with it. You're never quite rooting for her."

truly mysterious why this doesn't work rdm. boggles the mind.

he offers no explanation as to why it doesn't work, btw, it's all just "???"

we're not rooting for dee because lee doesn't actually want her. just like he didn't actually want gianne.

meanwhile shevon is the epitome of lee playing it safe. he's obviously lonely and in need of talking to someone, and having emotional and physical intimacy. he wants it without the possibility of being too vulnerable or hurting someone else when he runs. through shevon we understand some of the reasons why lee left gianne. through his relationship with shevon and gianne, we can begin to see what might underlie lee's budding relationship with dee.

and then perhaps we remember lee's behavior during the miniseries. and then maybe we watch scar next and a couple more things become clear.

we're not rooting for dee because we're rooting for someone else entirely. (kara. it's kara.)

i am in the tantrum hole.

"we're playing that Zarek needs to tell Lee about Phelan and about this ship out there where you can get anything you want that's the hub or the nexus of the black market. And yet everybody else seems to know about it. It's clearly the place where all this activity is going, but somehow Lee needs to be told by Zarek that it even exists, which tends to undercut Lee's role as an investigator and the procedural aspect starts to feel a bit weak because you feel like he should've- Lee should've known all that on his own and again, it's an element that doesn't work"

OR it could be something about complacency, a failure in governance, and how out much the Galactica is actually a bubble. very interesting concept for lee who feels disconnected after RS2.

it's not that lee's obliviousness doesn't work, it's that he has the privilege of not needing to think about it. he could even already be seeing shevon and thinking it's all above board like it was back in the colonies, not realizing there's a criminal enterprise going on that is exploiting desperate people.

what happens when lee does learn about how bad it is out there in the fleet?

that's your episode set up.

"When Lee shoots him, you should feel that he shoots him because, "Oh my God! I'm realizing that he is like Bill Duke and oh! Woah! I'm like shocked. And that's- I don't know how I feel about Lee, but I'm really surprised because he's more like Bill Duke than I thought." I don't think the show really says that. I don't think we've accomplished that mission. And that should have been the mission here, is if you're going to predicate a whole show on this concept, about this central confrontation it should pay off that idea." that should not have been the mission there omfg. lee shoots this man because he's doing fucked up shit. the shocking moment isn't that lee is like the bad guy, the shocking thing is that mr. articles of colonization did an extrajudicial killing. he executed a man without due process.

the question here is: is lee more like his father and laura roslin than he'd like to admit? if so, what is he going to do about it?

and btw, is lee like his father completely ties back to a possible reason why he runs from gianne: he saw himself marrying a woman he got pregnant, thus repeating the story of his parents. and it doesn't need to be 1:1 exactly, but there are too many similarities for his comfort. so he runs.

and another theme: lee doing what he knows is the right thing to do vs. lee doing what he thinks is the Right thing to do. and to what extent does lee hide behind duty because he's scared of going after what he wants. (and oh look at that we're back to kara)

this scene is interesting because lee does something he felt in the moment to be right (and he does it on impulse, which is another bit of tension with his character in other episodes), but he also acted against his ethical code. what are the effects of that? how does lee grapple with that? WE JUST DON'T KNOW

i am still in the tantrum hole.

"I think if I had to sum up what's wrong with this episode in my opinion, it's that this time we went for a much more tv, conventional tale and execution." narrator: that's not what was wrong with the episode. "So again it's a grab bag of things we're trying to do." narrator: that's more like it.

incredible podcast though it's like 10/10 reflection 0/10 insight. showrunner of all time this guy.