#so if im not out in 30 or so minutes I'm just releasing myself out into the world again

[prettyvacanttt]

Walking into our hotel lobby at 6:39am for the third time in a row like

[satanprotectsme]

The Girl in the Record Store - Chapter 3

Eddie Munson x Metalhead! Reader

(A/N) FINALLY I'M UPDATING THIS SORRY it's 1:30 in the morning and im eating a pizza lunchable while i write this bc they're the only vegetarian ones.

(Warnings! Swearing, Panic Attack, Drinking, Drug mentions, Sexual Harassment, Fluffy fluffy ending!!!)

"I don't know, Eddie," I sigh, restocking our Metallica crate. I turn around. Eddie's sitting on the front counter, kicking his feet. "After the stunt I pulled the other day? Fuck the teachers are lucky I even have the balls to go back! Let alone a party thrown by Jason himself," I exasperate.

"Look, sweetheart, Carver isn't the biggest fan of me either, but they wanna get high, and I have their solution. Let's just go, have a grand ol' time for a few hours, get a buzz, and leave. If they know you're my plus one, it'll be fine," he hops off the counter and grabs my wrists. "I'd never steer you in the wrong direction."

"I know," I draw out the last syllable, bringing my eyes up to his. I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet, a groan wrestling through my body. "Fine! I'll go," I surrender, a soft smile overtaking my lips. He shakes my hands and grins, fuck, he always wins me over. I giggle and pull my hands away from him, a baby pink heating my cheeks. "But! I'm only going for a couple hours, and if I get uncomfortable I'm leaving!"

"Of course sweetheart, I'll keep you safe," He smirks. I smack his chest gently and stare down at my feet. "Okay, I'm picking you up at 9:30, you better be ready or I swear-"

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, I'll be ready Munson," I push him out of the store, Eddie's dramtized protests drowing me out.

"9:30!" Eddie yells as the doors close.

Pulling my choker across my neck, I eye myself up and down, god, do I look hot. I run my hands down my latex dress, grab my purse, and check the time, 9:29. I run down the stairs and kiss my dad on the cheek. "I'll see you later, dad!"

"Be safe kid!" He calls out to me as I shut the front door. Eddie's van's sat in my driveway, and he gives me a smirk when I look his way. Jumping into the passengers seat, I kick off my heels. Eddie lets out a low whistle.

"Shut up, Eds."

"I can't help it sweetheart," he chuckles, starting up the engine. I pull down the mirror and fiddle with my hair. "You look great, but I'm not slowing down so you can admire yourself.

Even just pulling up to the party makes me a little nauseous, just seeing the rows cars belonging to hundreds of people who don't want me around, but Eddie clutches my hand and leads me inside.

"Hold on sweetheart, I'm gonna go do my business and I'll be right back, I promise," I grip his hand tighter, a silent plea. Eddie sighs, his gaze shooting around the room. "I'm sorry, a few minutes tops, okay? Go get us a couple of drinks and find somewhere to sit," He releases my hand and wanders off. I bite my lip and make my way to the snack table. Pouring a glass of mystery punch, I let it slide down my throat as fast as I can, pouring myself another one before anyone can judge me. Taking a long sip, I hear a voice behind me, but not the one I really needed to hear in the moment…

"So you're the little freak whore that Jason mentioned?" I turn around, a brunette guy in a letterman's jacket looms over me. I suddenly become conscious. I'm conscious of the plunging neckline on this dress, conscious of my fishnet clad legs, conscious of how alone I was, though I was surrounded by my peers.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, if you're gonna whore yourself out like this, do it for a real man. You don't have to do it for those greasy ass freaks," He laughs. one of his hands grips my waist, but I smack it away. "Hey! What the fuck?"

"What do you think you're doing?" Oh god, where's Eddie?

"You don't have to fight this, gorgeous," He smirks. I throw my drink in his face and storm off, but I can barely see where I'm going because of the tears welling in my eyes. I grab a beer off a small table and speed to Eddie's van, swinging open the big side doors and locking myself inside.

Cracking the drink open, I can't help but chug it. I wonder if Eddie's enjoying his time in there. God, what am I doing? I can't believe I let him talk me into coming here, I can't believe he'd strand me like that. I felt like a knife had been stabbed in my back and happened to graze my heart along the way. Back at home, I'd never just go to some party because a cute guy wanted me to, am I changing? Am I becoming weak? It takes me about 15 minutes to drink the whole beer, but I could be wrong. My perception of time was a bit slanted, taking the buzz in my head into consideration. I toss it off to the side and grab a blanket from the corner, just wanting to escape into the sweet, serene throws of sleep. When the van door swings open once again, I slowly blink my eyes, trying to make out who's above me. My tipsiness aside , I could make out that fluffy brown mop anywhere.

"Oh god, doll, I'm so sorry," He slams the door behind him, and crouches next to me. "Can I sit? Or do you want some space?"

"Sit... Please," I dab my tears with the blanket before holding it open for him. He scoots under it and wraps an arm around me. "Did you make your sale?"

Eddie chuckles quietly. "That doesn't matter right now, what happened?"

"I went to get drinks and... one of those guys came up to me, grabbed me 'n stuff," I lean onto Eddie's shoulder. "I threw my drink at his face, and ran off to here," Eddie pats my head.

"'Atta girl, that's what he gets!" I giggle and wipe another tear away. "Look, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you like that. I just didn't want to get you involved with, you know."

"I know Eds, it's your job, I get it," I smile, just glad to be in his presence again. “At home I wouldn’t have come to this stupid party, an’ if this ever happened, I’d just fuckin’ punch the guy. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“It’s just the new surroundings princess, you’re still learning the people here and that’s okay! I don’t know exactly how you were at home, but you’ll adjust, right?” I look up to his sympathetic eyes. He’s so wise beyond his years. Everyone assumes he’s stupid because he’s been held back, but he’s not. Putting it all into perspective for me, he sighs into my hair."You can be out for a few more hours, what do you wanna do?"

"Can we go to your trailer, maybe? I don't want my dad to know something went wrong."

"Of course, lets go watch a movie at my place."

I'd much rather be resting on Eddie's shoulder like I am now than at some stupid party. With some cheesy horror movie playing in the background, I rest rest my eyes he plays with my hair. The buzz from the alcohol has worn off and I’m just enjoying Eddie’s presence. I couldn't tell you what was going on in the movie if I tried, more focusing on the way his gentle touches graze my scalp.

"I'll never leave you hanging like that again, Sweetheart. I promise," He holds out his pinky finger. We wrap them around each other and giggle. I trust him more than anyone else.

[skyburger]

lately ive been going through my google history when im bored (which is so incredibly entertaining btw. highly recommend) and apparently, after double-checking my camera roll that date & finding proof to support this theory, i did indeed first watch hlvrai on november 4th of 2020. absolutely insane. i thought i hadnt seen it until mid-2021 at LEAST.

shoutsout to my friends who i watched it with at the time half of which i dont talk to anymore... i owe u for getting me into funny half-life series. thank you oomf

WARNING !!! below the read more is a long fucking list of funny* things i found in my camera roll from the week i first watched hlvrai. like not the images themselves just me talking about them. i dont know why i thought that was a good idea but alas i already spent 90+ minutes writing that all out and tbf i did have a good laugh looking at that shit. anyway the warning is because its long as fuck and i'm willing to bet not at all interesting to anyone who isn't me. i think if i talk any more i will ramble for fucking ever so ill shut up. WARNING OVER !!! miami make some fucking NOISE. dj tsumugi.

*please note these were funny to both me in late 2020 (age 15) and me now (older but not at all wiser). what im trying to say is read at your own risk because 90% of this is unfunny as fuck but it could be worse. it could be shit from when i was 12. That would be really bad i think

anyway here are some highlights from my camera roll from like the day before, the day of & the day after "the incident" (me watching hlvrai):

a ridiculous amount of terezi pyrope pictures. i had not (and still have not) ever read homestuck

at least 30 pictures of hugh o'conner. probably more if im being honest with myself

the same few pictures of kokichi ouma? for some reason?

like a lot of pictures of nagito komaeda. there is at least one screenshot where my discord pfp is nagito. Something Happened

vriska and nepeta also make an appearance. the former more so but not nearly as much as terezi for some reason

a lot of screenshots of discord convos involving various hughdebeste aus. some favorites are the homestuck au, the peabody & sherman au(???), the meet the robinsons au(??????), splatoon au

blu and red scout tf2 they have taco bell and kfc shirts respectively?

professor sycamore from pokemon and professor sycamore from layton. there are multiple images of each and theyre right next to each other

screenshots of the homestuck wiki. Concerning

a screenshot of an email i got from nintendo about the special edition fortnite switch releasing

like a lot of screenshots of alfendi layton from when i was playing lbmr. not surprising but theres kind of a ridiculous amount

a picture of alvin (the chipmunk) that just says "WE DID IT"

screenshots of me talking in ridiculous 13375P34K on twitter and being accused of kinning from homestuck. quite frankly? i deserved that

hatsune miku makes a few appearances

many tumblr post screenshots. However i did not take these myself i just saved them from reddit. really ashamed to admit i did this for literal years even when i used tumblr at the same time

picture of professor layton standing in that one pose in that one picture i dont know how to describe it. the "you know i had to do it to em" one

that one bugs bunny suit meme and it says "i wish all boobed men a very pleasant evening". this was apparently important enough for me to save twice like an hour and a half apart

many screenshots of me on discord AND twitter posting quotes from hlvrai as i watched it. this includes on my masked disciple roleplay account

a picture of my danganronpa trilogy for ps4 copy. but its one of those live pictures so when i click on it i get attacked (i had the flash on because i took this picture in the dark)

that one really terrible picture of tommy coolatta thats like the first non-fanart picture of him on google images. thrilled to announce i think thats been the only image on his wiki page for years now

picture of hime & mikoto meika's mmd models. i think they had recently released or been announced at this point

catboy apollo justice & wolf boy klavier gavin gacha life gifs. i think my friend made this (if it was in fact my friend and not someone random this was the same friend who streamed hlvrai and thus changed my life forever btw)

that old meme about not passing [xyz] the aux because theyll play [abc]. it says "Do NOT pass the kinnie the aux / They'll just playin 'Alvvays - Archie, Marry Me (Official Video)'"

screenshots of calendar events i set up celebrating the anniversary of two dgs characters' deaths (genklimt fans rise up!)

screenshot of my real kinlist on my real carrd from 2020. i can tell it was just edited because this screenshot has scribbles on it (i circled the latest addition to my kinlist which is in fact "dr. coomer")

screenshots of me and my oomfs on this one specific anime rp roblox game that i WISH i could remember the name of. it let you import pngs of any character you wanted so we had pictures of ace attorney guys hanging out with madoka girls at some point. this specific instance includes klavier gavin, baby trucy wright, rosie from animal crossing & a blue orb thing(??). we are all incredibly small for some reason

john cena suit gangnam style depression. this is saved multiple times. does anyone else remember this post i used to be obsessed with it for some reason

picture of a historical moment in my life (the day i changed my ps4 username to "TheKokichiOuma" which i have regretted for years now. in my defense it did actually use to be worse than that im so serious. 2018 was a dark time why did i pick the name "DabWeebPolics". Horrific!

screenshot of a string of tweets between me and a friend at the time. the tweets arent actually important except for the first one which reads "these gummy bears taste british i cant explain it". this is only important because i remember these fucking gummy bears and they DID taste british in like the same way heathrow airport feels british you know

this one picture of my chemical romance in a forest(?) but bob looks like my fucking dad at a quick glance and it scares me every time i see it. i saved this multiple times over the course of that day

various pictures my friend made of jove justice being set on fire

the really short businessman with the fuckass bob from the lorax but my oomf edited him to look like kazuma asougi

picture of byakuya togami which is only funny because it has text on top of him that says "I. DO. NOT. GEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a single screenshot of a tumblr post about the events of That Day (destiel putin election day.) the only other thing referencing this in my gallery is a screenshot of the trending tab on twitter (the trends are, in order. 1. #TrumpMeltdown 2. destiel 3. #ElectionResults2020)

two paper mario character pngs followed by that one misha collins picture. you know the one

various screenshots of a mishapocalypse happening on twitter

more super paper mario pngs

im going through pictures slightly further out from nov 4th now (i think after i look at nov 2nd & nov 6th ill call it quits). first image i see is that "gay people i respect vs. gay people i dont respect" image and i dont know why i saved that nevermind i scrolled and immediately found i made a dgs meme out of that

phoenix wright BASED ON GAY MANGA?

went through the ace attorney mamboleo person's deviantart that day i think so i have various funny works of theirs saved. i think the average person actually would know them as the stamp on the ground animation person so. Thats them too. on a side note watching that video after you got into metal gear is fucking insane

that mom against cat boys tshirt

a lot of unnoteworthy professor layton & ace attorney & dgs images

ben shapiro on the ace attorney witness stand?

oh im finding out i got really fucking mad at william petenshy that day. iirc i got so fucking annoyed at this case i didnt even finish it i just. skipped it. i wasnt even playing it i was just watching it???

one of those "tag yourself / which mutual am i" posts but all the options are characters from my kinlist. one of the titles is a jfk clone high reference

screenshots of dms to klimt van zieks begging him to drop a kinlist

a screenshot of a friends reply to my tweet (hi doop) which did just remind me of my "damon gant is apollo justice's grandpa" theory. this tweet manages to tie yanni yogi into the family tree

screenshot of a discord music bot playing a youtube video (remember when they could do that?). the video is titled "henry ledore does his taxes for 10 minutes asmr"

apparently i looked at characters i share a mbti with that day. highlights include souseki (the dgs guy. no idea about the real one), ron delite, flora reinhold, pyro tf2, agent 8 (splatoon), n harmonia & my goat DERPY HOOVES

screenshot of part of twitter's trending page. it says that trending in the united kingdom, with at least 3,610 tweets, is "Homosexuals"

screenshots of multiple tweets in a row from me. they all involve me frantically talking about how i really want to kin nagito komaeda even though i know fuck-all about him

various pictures of markiplier (both in real life & in fma)

real screenshot of me unironically saying "mental illness innit" in reference to myself. this was in my twitter dms with my friends klimt van zieks roleplay account which is even worse

original gina lestrade & egg benedict image made by me. if you know the apollo gant image its basically that

okay i lied i went back to nov 1st and i think i'll check nov 7th afterwards. one full week of nonsense. this proved to be a good idea because i immediately found a screenshot of a text to my mom asking her if she kinned gnomeo from gnomeo and juliet. she said yes

possible origin of why i own a boss baby poster: oomf kin-assigned me the boss baby

possibly my favorite example of the twitter feature where it shows you the original tweet and then the last two replies on a long thread of replies to that post. the original tweet is me saying in all caps "i care him so much he is so small" about luke triton (what a 2020 sentence!). the last two replies are from me and then my oomf but i think only the first of the two needs recounting. it says "do you really want to explain vore to your teachers". i know i say i want context a lot but i genuinely do really want context for this what the fuck happened here

oh good! boss baby update: theres a screenshot of my ebay purchase of "BOSS BABY Poster A5"

im on pictures from november 7th now. i think i went through a figures bot that day because i have a frankly ridiculous amount of figures (mostly nendoroids. mostly miku nendoroids.) there's also the default hime & mikoto png in the middle of these

twitter notification screenshot. apparently kristoph gavin ace attorney followed me that day

i think i went and looked through a christian memes subreddit or twitter account or SOMETHING i dont know where else these all came from. this is followed by a staggering amount of facebook minion memes

side note: does anyone else remember the aatwt (ace attorney twitter) & puyo puyo twitter crossover event in the michael's customer service chat incident? that feels like a different universe

this one is really nothing compared to any of this other stuff but i do have proof of me saying "pog" unironically

grand finale to this saga is actually from a couple days after (nov 9th 2020) but after seeing the staggering amount of death the kid images i had saved over like two days (i had watched a couple episodes of soul eater with my pals) i felt compelled to dig up my "death the kid get wifi anywhere you go" fancam. i might post it later cause its a classic (only to me)

thank you all so much for watching remember to like and subscribe and whatever. thank you for reading this if you read it for some fucking reason. i spent just over an hour and a half looking through this shit & typing this but it was a nice walk thru memory lane tbh! im gonna shut up now before i start rambling. feel free 2 ask for the images or context to any of these i literally love rambling. peace and love on planet earth. LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOODNIGHT NEW YORK CITY

[zombies-aliens]

So today at work got me thinking about myself. I was being helped by a funny coworker and she likes to have fun on the job and laugh and it's cool and all with me, I don't mind that whatsoever who doesn't like to have fun and laugh, but it kind of held a mirror to me of how tense I am. All I can do is smile and laugh and make a few comments and ask questions. But I don't joke back. You would think I didn't like her very much. I hope not though because it's not that I dislike my coworker it's just that I'm very tense and do not know how to relax. And it's kind of hard to relax at a stressful place like work where your brain and body have to be switched "on" all the time for hours on end. Even with two 15-minute breaks and an hour's lunch, it can be taxing. At least for me and what I have to do.*

But I feel like I'm too tense by default whenever I'm interacting with people even just one. I'm terrible with crowds too. All it takes is for a 3rd person to show up and it's a wrap for me I'm quiet you won't hear a peep out of me. Im just gonna be the guy who smiles, listens, and laughs at anything funny. I will not joke with them because I'm too tense to do it. I think I'm so tense that it effects my speech dude. Like I stutter a lot. I can still help people but man do I stutter. Some days it's worse than others and I keep tripping over my words and I sound like a nervous wreck. I get so embarassed and I can't even take a break I have to keep working. Sometimes the stress makes me wanna cry but I don't. A lot happens in a day at work like all that bullshit I have to go through but at the end of my shift I'm more calm (still tense but less) and by the time I'm in my car alone I can feel myself slowly relaxing and when I'm home I just can't wait to talk all about it to myself as I shower. Dude I'm so stressed I usually sing in the shower but instead I talk to myself about my day. I imagine I'm talking to someone who's listening. I'm sorry dude but at home I'm not good at being vulnerable because I'm a happy go lucky persona you could say, unless of course theres someone else in the house im not familiar with. I'm the type that doesn't really get sad I get quiet. I keep my pain to myself just because I don't know how to open. The fuck. up. I don't know how to DO IT. I've done it in therapy only once where I truly opened up and that was when I cried. I spoke from my emotions. And even tho I look back and wonder if what I said was off, I felt damn good that I did. But still, it wasn't about what I said it was about coming alive through my emotions which make me human. I felt like I ripped the band aid of figuratively speaking and let myself spill. I'd say the furthest I can get to opening up like that again is by talking but I'll filter my emotions through logic. It feels good too but it's not the same kind of release as that one time. It wouldn't need to be crying as long as it is an emotion I'm expressing. Honestly I feel like I'm dying or worse I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm not expressing my true self and my true thoughts and feelings. I'll say this: I can go through hell and I promise I'll live as long as I can talk about my experiences. Expressing myself is key. It's got to be. It just has to be. Because I just had a shit day today and I feel better now talking than I did when I left work FUCK YES THAT FELT GOOD AHHHHHHHHHH I GOT A LITTLE SMILE NOW

*( I have a new position at work where I'm running cases. That means I'm the only guy with keys who's opening cases for people to get their baby formula, their deodorant, their shampoo, their shaving stuff, energy drinks and coffee, and alcohol. And I think I missed one more but yeah. Other people help too but they have their own thing to do so help isn't available for the most part. It sounds easy on paper, but when the store is packed I am getting calls on my radio where I need to be everywhere at the same time, and I have to be there within 30 seconds or a minute - it's a medium-sized store. That's the part that stresses me out. It gets easier tho when it starts getting dark and fewer people show up so that's good. It's not pure stress all day. And I hate to sound like I'm complaining but I'm just telling you what goes on and that it gets hectic at times and then I got people who walk slowly and there's crowds I have to get through to get to another customer who needs my assistance. The customers are always patient tho. But I have to still be on time so I'm fast walking taking big steps. And coworkers could probably tell I'm stressed but then again I can't imagine what type of stress the people at customer service go through or the cashiers too. I've heard some of their stories in the breakroom and it's not pretty)

[certifiedsadgurl]

new beginnings

i've had a lot of ups and down recently and i've decided that i can't do it any longer. i don't want to sit back and watch life go by, and in order for that to happen i have to actively make some changes.

i decided to start this blog to hold myself accountable and so that i can document my progress with my mental health as well as my overall well-being. it also gives me something to refer to moving forward.

i've done some research on how i can improve the quality of my life and get the most out of the day and i've broken it down into 5 things that i want to make a habitual part of my life.

5 habits

waking up at the same time every day. the recommended amount of sleep for my age group (20) is 7-9 hours of sleep. it doesn't matter when you go to bed or what time you wake up, as everyone's body clocks are different; however i find that i have the most energy in the late mornings, so I'll be aiming for anywhere around 6:30-7:00am. Sleep is important for your mental, physical AND emotional health and i have a very hard time getting to sleep, so I feel that increasing the time and quality of my sleep should be good for my health in general.

drinking 2L of water every day. As a general rule, the recommended amount of water for the average-sized adult is 1.5-2L of water a day, and the best time to drink your first litre is within an hour or waking up as it helps to flush your digestive system and wake up your digestive organs to prepare them for the day. then drink the rest of your recommended amount throughout the day. drinking enough water helps your physical and mental health! and it also helps with your digestion if you put fruit/vegetables in your water, a splash of lemon and even a bit of himalayan salt!

meditation/mindfulness. the intention behind developing meditation as a habit is to regulate me emotionally. i find that when im experiencing big feelings a lot of the time its because my mental health is in an array so by starting my day off with the intention of just breathing and being (along with some manifestations and self affirmations) i'm setting myself up for a better day to be had.

exercise. whether it be stretching, yoga, low-intensity or high-intensity workouts or even just a walk! getting in a minimum of 15 minutes a day of movement is extremely good for your physical and mental health. it is great for releasing stress as well as producing happy hormones :) I find that I really struggle with exercising now that I am an adult so i really want to develop this habit.

journalling/writing. i really enjoy writing but i never do it ! i want to be able to keep a journal this year and also write daily affirmations, intentions, goals and other things of that sort.

well anyways i gotta go but they say it takes 21 days to develop a habit so i'm gonna try anyways. LOL and im gonna try make this blog as aesthetic as possible HAHA but who am i kidding this shits gonna be CHAOTIC!

... bye :)

[weabbynormalblog]

We are what we think and eat Challenge ~ make better choices or try something new.

Finally got to my family doctor. Man what a sucky wake up call, very high blood pressure is serious stuff. So no more caffeine, one of the last dark horses and more exercise needed, still on my journey to better health. I will doge this bullet as well hopefully. First no more coffee thats a given. Ive knocked that habit before. I can surly taper back to 1 or 2 cups. Then herbal tea, juice, water from then on maybe a tea after dinner or b4 bed.

Instead of 30 minute work outs Im adopting small exercise breaks through out the day for 5-7 minutes. Its Quarentine after all. I need to stay in shape, that means walking, swimming and some kind of aerobic work. My ankles and knees are complaining so instead of walking I must get creative.Theres no swimming right now. I do have a mini indoor bike and tension elastics. I guess its time to get into more of it but in a different way. There's only up to go, really. Someone told me the reason I'm on my own right now, is because I can do it on my own. If you find yourself alone know that you can help yourself. You can take control and make a difference. We all feel powerless at some point or another on our trip. I do know how to get into good health and its worked for me so far. I know its by supporting all the parts of me that my journey will be most enjoyable.

Exercise now benefits future better moods. Platies are great low impact exercises designed to strengthen your core. Your on your side back front etc. Do what you can. Sets of 8 and start slow and work your way up. Yoga too is so beneficial. I have my go to moves that are just for my current physical state. Its considered Adaptive Yoga. Thats the beauty of it, you can be in almost any state of health and still do yoga and it keeps you flexible as well as works with different breathing and stress management technics. Good for your lungs and overall health.

Low physical strength, enjoy the various recovery posses. The misconception about yoga is that you need to be able to stand on your head to be good at it. Myth busted. So far from actual truth. Yes yoga does require practice even when using the recovery positions. You need to go at your own skill level and pace. The last 6 months or so exercising has been difficult since one of my wipe outs. Now under investigation by my Familly Physician. Still now knowing about the high blood pressure it makes sense. No more salt either. Small sacrifices in the name of longevity and good health. More meditation to have more calm to offset all that cortisol being released in my injured brain. I feel like my personal alarms are are going off 24/7. Always superstressed out. Yes I've had a lot of improvements with mindfulness training however under severe duress its really rough. I was triggered oh max by a health questionaire about Covid was in order to see my doctor. Sometimes I still need my safe space no joke. Often when knee jerk reactions happen its very difficult to hold all that water back. I've been offered a 24h slow release mood suppressant, Im always wary of new medication. I always rather try the homeopathy solution first.

We are what we think and eat. I have to remind myself of that every once in a while too. I'm not powerless. I can improve my health. Better food choices, no fat too or rather, leaner choices. That is one area where I can still improve. Less meat fat will be easy. Half the same amount of protein will now come from plants. I think I will take cues from none traditional Canadian customs. The biggest meal on our Continent is dinner, when we are usually least active. My biggest meal with be mid day. It will be comprised of all the necessary food groups based on availability and nutritional needs. Dinner will be soup, bread salad type kinda meals. Mutually beneficial. Sometimes during Quarentine I'm able to get Mangos for example. What a treat, nutrient rich from the other side of the Globe. Finding local and fresh produce can be difficult in the winter. Being under this Pandemic really puts all of us to the test. I've really come to appreciate local produce as well as imported. We are capable and we are not alone. Hang in there💚 When in doubt keep at whats working

[tholland3432]

In a different life.

A Tom Holland and Original Character story.

When Tom meets Sydney, a local pub singer in London - who knows what will happen.

Chapter 1. Just like any other day.

Sydney has been a singing for as long as she can remember, it is not her dream to become a huge star just to have someone listen is enough. The feeling when she is singing just doesn't compare to anything else. She has a regular gig in a small pub in London, some nights it is so busy she feels as though see is singing for thousands, not just the mere 100 who can squeeze in and some nights she is singing to the old drunk regular Gary. Who lets face it is not listening to a word that comes out of her mouth.

-

"Come on darling, you gonna sing us another song" Gary again slurred across the bar, "I'm sorry Gary, that's all for tonight. You know I'll be here next week any way" I love this guy but not a 11pm when all I want to do is sleep, "got such a pretty voice" he mutters as I collect my bag to leave. I give him a pat on the shoulder as I walk out into the cold London night, there is something about the light fog that fills the air in London, it just feels like home.

The walk home to my flat isn't long, my flatmate Jay always tells me I should just get an uber as he doesn't want me to wind up dead, but there is just something about the walk home it's so peaceful not another person around.

-

The following morning was just like any other day, in the daytime I help my friend Jay at his photography studio by doing make up and hair styling. He is some hot shot London photographer for whichever model or actor is the flavour of the month. Jay and I met on a night out a long time ago with some mutual friends both dancing like we were possessed and we just clicked, it was kinda like in movie Step Brother's "did we just become best friends" yup.

We moved in together about a year ago now, we have a common ground of both being slightly, shall we say open with our sexual encounters. He will have a chat with the guys the morning after a night with me and whatever guy comes crawling out of his room the following morning I will make them a coffee say "Sorry Jay had to rush off to work" send them on their way, releasing Jay from his hiding spot AKA my walk-in wardrobe.

"Soo who have you got coming in today" We are just setting up for the day in the studio, "Oh this gorgeous young guy Harrison something, you can help me figure out if he is gay or not" Here we go... "No I am not trying to flirt with this guy to see if he is straight or not, we have done this too many times now" I laugh at him. "you will be sorry girl because he is hot with a capital H". Around 30 minutes later the hot guy comes in, he was right. I am eating my words because he is by far one of the prettiest guys I've ever seen.

"Harrison, if you want to take a seat over there my beautiful assistant Sydney can get started on some hair and makeup for you, just whilst I finish getting setup"

"Yeah no worries, mate" Hmm 'mate' slightly too laddish to be playing on Jay's side.

"Heyy, I'm Sydney" I stick my hand out for him to take which he does and pulls me slightly closer to him, god he had a firm grip.

"Nice to meet you Sydney, Sydney as in Australia?" I get this a lot.

"Yeah, apparently where I was conceived" his eyes widen slightly and he chuckles, as I notice he still hasn't let go of my hand, not that I am complaining.

"wow, okay did not expect that" he laughed and let go of my hand, I suddenly feel extremely hot in this room. He sits in the chair for me and I start to brush through his hair, I need to talk to him to distract myself from running my hand through his dark blonde curls.

"So Harrison, how long you been modelling for?"

"Oh a couple of years or so, really I am trying to be an actor" that's what they all say.

"But I sorta fell into the modelling thing a while back and I mean it pays the bills" he smiles at me in the mirror, concentrate Syd.

"I mean I can see why it is working out for you" I flirt with him.

"Oh yeah, well thanks that's really kind" he went a little embarrassed, god this guy is killing me modest and hot.

"So would I have seen you in anything, acting wise?"

"erm I have been an extra in a few things, a couple of Marvel movies and I did a series called Catch 22 about the war, erm George Clooney directed it"

"oh shit really, that's pretty cool. Is he as beautiful in real life as he is on the Nespresso ads?"

"he is even more beautiful" I smile at him, yeah you are beautiful too. I finish putting wax into his hair, this guy did not need much to look hot. I put a small amount of make up on, did I enjoy touching his face? Yes. Did I enjoy staring into his eyes whilst doing it? Yes.

"okay, so I think you are good to go now – Jay are you ready?" Jay walks over from behind the camera set.

"Come on the handsome we are ready for you" Harrison smiles as he get's up from the chair.

"Thanks Sydney, hopefully see you again" Oh I will see you in my bloody dreams - I need to stop.

"Well she sings in a pub down near Battersea if you want to see her again" Jay buts in, smirking at me from behind Harrison. Trying to keep my face as normal as possible and not give Jay a im-going-to-kill-you look.

"yeah well you know if you and friends are ever out and about I sing on Friday and Saturday nights, oh and they do a pub quiz on Thursday"

"Shit, me and the lads love a pub quiz, we might see you there then" he winked at me.

[luhvelight]

Hi! First of all, I really appreciate your wish to help anyone who has question to you! I feel really confused right now-next year I will have to go to college but after months of thinking I'm nowhere. I've suffered from some shits (depression) and now I feel like that has stolen my desire to live and that's the main problem..I hoped to hear if I will find way out of this labyrinth soon or is there something I should know from my spirit guide that will help me? Sorry it's so long 💙-V, Aries Sun

Hi love! The cards I have pulled for you are the upright Hanged Man, reversed Chariot and reversed Temperance. The song that came up for you when I shuffled was “Green Light” by Lorde. Never apologize to me dearie, you have given the appropriate amount of information. Sometimes it is better this way so that I can match the cards or the messages given to me, to your specific needs.

The Hanged Man and the reversed Temperance discusses that things in your life may be out of alignment. And this is affecting your ability to see things more clearly or as they are, and what they could be. Your spirit guides maybe telling you to have a new perspective. Shake up your daily routine and dip your toes in a different kind of water (take a risk). What we want to do with our lives and our futures requires a lot of thought and evaluation. I always stress the idea of self reflection but Im getting the feeling here that you might not be doing it in a way that is productive. It might drive you crazy and leaves you even more confused. Taking on a new perspective could possibly help with this because you could start to see things differently instead of using old mental thought processes that aren’t beneficial. And when I say “shaking up your daily routine” it doesnt mean that you have to add drastic changes to your life. Its ALWAYS the little things that matter. For instance, I always used to spend hours getting ready for class. Id come unprepared and generally left class feeling so stressed out. I made myself so annoyed that even when I was in class, I wasnt even present. Now I get to class atleast 30 minutes before to calm myself down and remind myself to be proactive in the session. Its little things like that and these changes can apply to how you live your life and what you can do to “shake it up”. You must take time away from your regular motives, to be able to see things in a new light because then youll start to experience things in a new light. Do not be afraid of this change, for itll bring you peace, love and serenity. Your spirit guides will be with you during this time, protecting you and so will I.

The Temperance card also stresses the idea of you not having an aligned way of life. Its calling out to you to restore this balance! Like I mentioned above, I do feel you have the tendency to just think so much! The Temperance explains that you maybe overthinking some aspects of your life and becoming too fixated. This way of living is taking you away from the beautiful and powerful person you are and who you have the potential to become. You need to trust that nagging voice in your head that says “this doesnt feel right!” , “wait this makes me feel good”. This helps you become more intune and familiar with who you are instead of you constantly doubting yourself and thinking about the things you cant become. The Spirit Guides would rather you go through a process of self healing instead of over indulging yourself with negaitve thoughts. This can start with self care. It can vary from an at home spa day, crying to release, meditating to reflect or doing yoga to also release. Vision boards also help and maybe watch StarGirls videos on Manifestations and Law of Attraction. Once again this is all up to you and how you want to heal yourself because once you do, you can start to see with more clarity.

The reversed Chariot also calls for you to slow down and be gentle with yourself. And to reflect but do not linger on this reflection or what could have been. Just think about the lessons youve learned and how you wont make these mistakes again. With this over thinking and healing needs to come with some form of self discipline. You deserve compassion, love, and success. You are VALUABLE. Do not let that annoying overthinking ugly voice, get to you.

I also feel like the song “Green Light” by Lorde, applies to this point in your life. The lyrics “im waiting for it, that green light, i want it” indicates to me that you desperately want to move on, but you cant find it within yourself to. Dearie, the only one who can give that green light to move on, is you. You have the control and you have the power, I believe in you.

[v-v-void]

Not me ignoring every single notification I get today because I'm plagued by this dreadful sadness. And why? I shouldn't be sad. I might get to see someone I've been missing for a while.. maybe a little afraid to get my hopes up but I'm trying to believe it'll happen.. I just spoke with two daycares and things are falling into place.. both of which want hunter and are very close to all of his family. One has a single opening and I'm on the waiting list for it.. and the other is waiting for a permit that'll allow more children to go into a preschool program, allowing space for hunter and multiple other kids his age in the daycare.. but I'm still looking.. I have another job interview tomorrow and overall.. I'm excited.. it'll be good for both of us.. things seems to be good, so why do I feel so fucking heavy? The weight on my chest is blocking my airways and making it impossible to think clearly.. all I know is that I'm sad. AGAIN. I just spent 30 minutes on the living room floor staring at the ceiling.. and my eyes.. they burn.. You know that feeling when you're about to cry and your eyes sting.. maybe it's just me trying to hold them back.. and yet I want nothing more than to release all of these feelings. If I could just cry and scream and let out all of these emotions.. maybe then I'd feel better?.. My eye lids are heavy and I want to sleep but i cant get anyone to watch hunter. That's all I did this weekend.. get time to myself and I slept.. kinda.. The point is, I keep pushing forward and everyday I feel my chest constricting.. The fear I have of anything and everything, crushing any hopes I have of feeling lighter. Ironically Im still praying things work out this time.. because I'm exhausted. I should've been out of this house by now and one step closer to building a better life for my son.

I need to be held.. or to hold onto them. To wrap my arms around them and melt. There aren't many embraces that allow me to put my bags down. That make me feel safe enough to let the walls crumble around us. If I don't get to see them soon I feel like I'm going to break.. as if the time we spend apart is just going to pull our souls further and further apart.. 😔 We went four years without seeing each other and that was hard enough.. after spending so much time with them, seeing them every few days or once a week was hard.. now it's been weeks.. and I feel like there's a hole in my heart that fills when they're in my arms.. like putting a key into a lock. They fit.

[dipulb3]

Ikea Fyrtur smart shade review: I'm keeping this thing

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/ikea-fyrtur-smart-shade-review-im-keeping-this-thing-3/

Ikea Fyrtur smart shade review: I'm keeping this thing

The window on my home’s front door has no curtain or blind, which is something I’ve long wanted to fix since it looks straight out onto the street. There are plenty of basic options that will get the job done, but I’ve been holding out for something a little fancier — and preferably something that I can automate, or control with my voice. I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want to live like a Bond villain?

Like

Incredible value compared to competitors like Lutron, Somfy and Tilt.

Easy-to-use app covers all of the bases for smart control, grouping and scheduling.

Simple, easy to use voice controls vie Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant.

Removable, rechargeable lithium-ion battery.

Magnetic wireless remote comes included.

Don’t Like

Totally non-customizable design, available only in gray.

Slightly ugly metal housing.

Gateway device for app and voice controls sold separately.

Mounting screws not included.

No way to manually raise or lower the shades when the battery is dead.

Enter the budget-friendly home furnishings of Ikea. After initially getting its feet wet with the Tradfri smart lighting system, the Swedish retailer announced in 2018 that it was working on app- and voice-enabled roller blinds to go with it. Initially pitched for release in April of 2019, the blinds hit a number of delays during development before quietly starting to hit stores toward the end of the year under the Fyrtur name.

That was welcome news for me, because Ikea’s smart shades support voice controls via Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant and start at just $129. Most everything else in the smart shade category costs quite a bit more than that.

How much more? Well, motorized roller shades of all sizes cost a flat $399 apiece from Tilt, and you have to pay extra for the hub that smartens them up and syncs them with your voice assistant of choice (“Free shipping on orders over $2,000,” the website reads). A single motorized smart blackout shade from Lutron’s Serena collection similar to the ones we tested at the CNET Smart Home a few years back added up to about $660 when I customized it to fit my door’s window on the Serena website and added in a Lutron Bridge for app and voice control — and you’ll play in the same high-priced ballpark if you’re shopping for Lutron’s new smart wood blinds, too. What about a smart shade from Somfy? You’ll have to connect with a third-party dealer and pay who knows what.

All of that gives Ikea’s Fyrtur shades the look of a game-changer for the category. And the value is indeed pretty strong here, especially for folks like me who have long felt priced out of the category altogether. It isn’t the prettiest-looking piece of window dressing — and you can’t customize the design at all, which is a drag — but if you just want the Bond villain satisfaction of telling your voice assistant of choice to lower the shades without needing to spend one meeeeellion dollars on them, then these are the roller blinds you’ve been waiting for.

Ry Crist/CNET

The Fyrtur is now

Available now, Ikea’s Fyrtur smart shades come in eight different sizes. Each one is 76 inches long when the shade is fully extended, but the width varies from 23 inches ($129) up to 48 inches ($179). There’s very little markup from size to size, and just $50 separating the smallest Fyrtur from the largest, so good on Ikea for not bilking people here. For my front door’s window, I went with the 27-inch version, which costs $139.

No matter what size you need, your shade will come with heather gray blackout fabric and a metal, industrial-looking overhang. I wouldn’t call it ugly, but it definitely isn’t eye-catching. You can’t customize the way they look at all, either — no special-cut sizes, no fancy colors or materials, no nothin’. That’s the key trade-off here — competitors like Lutron and Somfy will let you customize your shades in all sorts of ways, but they cost substantially more than what Ikea’s asking.

Ikea Fyrtur Smart Shade sizes

Width (inches) 23 27 30 32 34 36 38 48 Price $129 $139 $149 $154 $159 $164 $169 $179

Each Fyrtur shade comes with a rechargeable lithium-ion battery to power it, a wireless remote to control it at a touch, and mounting brackets that you’ll need to screw it into place. They don’t come with screws, though. Since your mounting needs will vary, Ikea makes you pick out your own screws, which feels like a bit of a cop-out since it could have included two or three sets of the most commonly used varieties, along with instructions on what to get if you need something else.

Okay, made a quick run to the hardware store this morning for some lath screws — now, I’ve got those brackets in place above the door window and the Ikea Fyrtur smart blind hanging neatly in place. Time to finish setup and start testing it out. pic.twitter.com/BWIm7xc5by

— Ry Crist (@rycrist) June 3, 2020

Still, after a quick trip to the hardware store to grab a fresh pack of self-drilling no. 8 lath screws, I was all set to drill the thing into place at the top of my door. Doing so was relatively painless — just measure to determine where the brackets should go, mark the spots with a pencil, and screw them in. Once you’ve done that, the entire Fyrtur blind clips into place beneath them. It’s somewhat heavy, but the brackets do a good job at keeping everything secure

Trip to the hardware store aside, I was able to install one myself in about 20 minutes (and I was tweeting each step of the way, too — here’s the link to that thread in case you want to see the play-by-play).

Each Fyrtur blind comes with a magnetic wireless remote.

Ry Crist/CNET

Smart controls

Once the blind is installed, you’ll use the included Micro-USB cable to give the battery a quick charge, and then pop it into place in the housing. At that point, you’ll be able to push a pair of inconspicuous buttons on the overhang to move the blind up and down. Plug in an odd-looking, two-piece signal repeater that comes with each blind, and you’ll be able to pair the wireless remote with your blinds, too. Just unscrew the back, insert the coin battery, and then hold a pairing button down while holding it up close to the blind. It’s magnetic, too, which is a nice touch if you just want to keep the thing on the fridge.

You’ll need Ikea’s Tradfri Gateway plugged into your router in order to control the blinds from the app or with a voice command. It sells separately for $35.

Ry Crist/CNET

For app and voice controls, you’ll need Ikea’s Tradfri Gateway plugged into your router. It sells separately for a reasonable $35, and works just like a Philips Hue Bridge, translating the Zigbee signals sent by your Tradfri lights and Fyrtur blinds into something your home network can understand. The Tradfri app also includes controls for Ikea’s line of smart speakers, though I didn’t have one on hand to test out how well those integrate into the system.

With the Gateway up and running and everything properly paired up, you’ll be able to raise and lower the blinds from your Android or iOS device. You can also program your blinds to open and close on an automated schedule. And, importantly, the app tells you how to specify a maximum extension length for each blind, which keeps it from spooling out onto your floor when you tell it to lower to 100%. 

In my case, I only needed a little more than half of the full 76 inches of fabric in order to cover the window on my door — so, I extended the blind to that point and then held down some buttons for a few seconds in order to lock that length in. Once I did, the blind wouldn’t go any lower than that when I tried to close it. Perfect.

One other quick note about the app: It includes a well-organized privacy policy that makes clear what info Ikea collects about you as you use your smart shades. And, as you might expect from a company based in Europe, where privacy laws are a lot stronger than they are in the US, those details are sensible and sound. Namely, the app collects IP addresses and access tokens used to connect with Amazon, Apple and Google. Ikea lists all of the ways it uses and protects that data, and says that it doesn’t share that data with anyone other than authorized IT service providers.

Ikea’s Tradfri app lets you control or automate your blinds from your phone, and it’ll tell you how to connect with a voice assistant, too.

Screenshots by Ry Crist/CNET

The app also offers instructions on how to pair with Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant. I mainly use Alexa in my home, so I started there, and had the connection up and running in about a minute. Everything worked great. When I told Alexa to lower the shade, the shade would drop down to my preset maximum length. When I told Alexa to raise the shade, it neatly wound itself back up. When I told Alexa to set the shade to 50%, the shade raised to cover the top half of the window. Those same basic controls worked well with Siri and the Google Assistant, too.

You can also control those blinds using the automated controls offered by each of those three voice platforms. For instance, I have an Alexa routine that turns off lights and sets the thermostat whenever I go to bed. Now, that routine makes sure the shade is closed, too.

If you’re an Apple HomeKit user, you’ll be able to see what percentage the blind’s rechargeable battery is at in the Home app.

Ry Crist/CNET

Controls like those are more or less the same on each platform, with some slight differences (one nice extra on the Apple HomeKit front: the Home app will tell you what percentage the blind’s battery is at). Between that, the voice controls, and the app scheduling, Ikea’s shades offer everything I want as far as smarts are concerned.

Still, these blinds don’t get everything right. Though the heather gray looks fine to me, the most obvious issue is the lack of any color choices for the fabric, and there aren’t any Ikea alternatives for folks looking for smart slatted-style blinds, or cellular blinds, either. 

Another issue: While you get those two little buttons on the blind housing as a form of physical control, you can’t manually roll the blinds by hand when they aren’t powered. The rechargeable battery packs are a pretty nice touch here, and more convenient than the D-cell batteries needed to power Lutron’s luxurious Serena shades, but that still seems like an oversight to me.

Ry Crist/CNET

I’m keeping it

As a badly needed value pick in an intriguing smart home category, Ikea’s Fyrtur smart shades check all of the boxes. The design is admittedly basic, especially the clunky-looking metal housing, but that doesn’t bother me too much at this price. More important is that the Fyrtur shade was easy to install, easy to program and connect with whatever voice assistant you like, and easy to use. It brings some new utility to my smart home that I couldn’t previously afford. I’ll take it.

I mean that literally, by the way. I paid for this thing and I like it enough to keep it right where it is at my front door. Along with making my living room feel a bit more private and high tech, it’ll give me a good, first-hand sense of how long the battery lasts on a charge (hopefully at least a few months with light usage). I’ll report back once I have that info, but for now, I’m more than comfortable recommending Ikea’s Fyrtur blinds to just about anyone interested in adding smart shades to their smart home setup without breaking the bank.

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

MSN.COM Oct 2019

https://www.msn.com/de-at/unterhaltung/entertainmentmusic/conchita-wurst-im-interview-die-erleuchtung-ist-mein-ziel/ar-AAJkTsF?ocid=ob-tw-deat-1515664162172&fbclid=IwAR2vYaULC8-0LzvjXt5x7Cnko2l9tSwyttCKYAPUuw2MJ71nmaFRWSojFk4#image=AAJkTsD

(Conchita) Wurst in an interview: "Enlightenment is my goal"

Would you have recognized him? Tom Neuwirth aka Conchita Wurst aka Wurst is back. His third album is on the market. The 2014 winner of the ESC will also rely on unconditional honesty in the interview in 2019.

Stop glamor! With his third album "Truth Over Magnitude", Tom Neuwirth alias Conchita Wurst is re-imagines. No pompous orchestra ballads, extravagant ball gowns and big feelings anymore, but short hairstyle, rough beats and clear posture. The ESC winner of 2014 sets 2019 on unconditional honesty. Together with the producer Albin Janoska and the copywriter Eva Klampfer, the 30-year-old has freed himself from expectations and role models. At the meeting in Berlin Neuwirth wears an elegant jeans outfit completely in black and looks bright, relaxed and accessible. "Wurst", as his current shortened stage name is, is all about himself. A conversation about meditation, technoraves and plane crashes.

Q: It is said that on the way here you got stuck in the elevator. Is that your personal hell?

Thomas "Wurst" Neuwirth: No, I was not. I simply chatted myself in another interview. I think my personal hell is an army of people moving into a city.

Q: Your new album is called "Truth Over Magnitude", Truth over strength. When was the last time you lied?

Neuwirth: 20 minutes ago (laughs). Hey, I'm an actor! No, I can’t remember the last time I knowingly lied. Of course, I also know these everyday phrases so as not to escalate a situation. This probably happens with a regularity that nobody notices, not even me. But I think it's perfectly alright to lie out of social thought, to prevent hurting others, or because my opinion on a topic is not necessarily important. It does not help to break a fight. Sometimes it's easier to wave and say, "Yeah, okay." But I do not mean that with "Truth". By that I mean the truth that is above everything. The irreversible, so to speak.

Q: The album contains an acronym for its nickname - "T.O.M". How is the album a demask for you?

Neuwirth: I think that this topic is more content-related than that it has to do with a mask. I would separate it visually and content. I am a person who always wants to hear the truth. I also do not think that I'm unmasking myself with the album final. Personally, I know what each song is about, and I have every situation in mind. This is also because I do everything I do primarily for me. I am very happy about anyone who participates in my world and in any way finds beautiful what I am doing. But personally, I have come to accept myself with all the strengths and weaknesses and to love myself. I work on myself and do my best - that's the truth that I'm talking about. The people who are close to me may understand more about what's going on in my songs. For the rest, there is music that anyone can interpret himself as he pleases.

The "President's wife"

Q: You once said that the role of Conchita was too narrow for you. What is the difference between "Wurst" and "conchita" in the decision to make progress?

Neuwirth: After the ESC I thought that experts knew better what is right for me or Conchita. What to do, how to sound, what clothes to wear, and so on. The ESC was a megachance that I did not want to spoil with my half-knowledge. So I have addressed the opinions of others and spun a protocol in my head that today I call "the President's wife". The "President's wife" has made me unhappy. I did not remember where I belonged, and everything was more like working off for me, just working. It took me a while to realize that if my name is on the door then I should be in there as well.

Q: As an artist, however, one always puts himself in the service of his audience in a certain way.

Neuwirth: In the past, I always wanted to become famous, but I did not know how. Main thing is the public, no matter how. That's why I did projects from A to Z, be it reality TV, casting shows, everything. I would still do the same thing. I was asked today if I would say something to my younger self. My answer was: "Absolutely not". I have a great life, so we did everything right.

Q: You have been in New York a couple of times now, including to mark the anniversary of the Stonewall protests. What did you learn there?

Neuwirth: I always thought that I was too European for L.A. and that New York was my city. But, between us: New York is pretty cool, but L.A. is just awesome! This city is a single show and if I can do something then it's show! (Laughs)

Q: You also gave a speech at the World AIDS Conference, where you were announced as an "icon". How do you deal with such terms?

Neuwirth: I think that's a bit exaggerated. Sometimes I'm called a role model, which I do not like. To be a role model implies sacrifice in my eyes. I do not sacrifice myself for anyone. I do what I do because I can not help it. I say the things that I feel and believe I have to say. If I had grown up in another family with a different attitude, for example, I would probably live it authentically. I am glad that I am the way I am. But if I were an arch-conservative lawyer now, for example, I would probably live my life as an arch-conservative lawyer does and do not think much about it.

"I live in my own world"

Q: A song is called "Satori", a term from Buddhism. What role does spirituality play for you?

Neuwirth: Enlightenment is my goal. I once heard a story of someone sitting in a crashed plane and just saying to himself, "Yeah, okay, that's it. It was good as it was." I try to savor every moment of my life so that in case of my death I can say: "I'm fine with it, it was awesome!"

Q: How close are you to this condition already?

Neuwirth: To the enlightenment? Well, I do not want to die yet (laughs). No, I'm not that far yet that I would stay completely relaxed in a crashed plane. I would still go completely crazy.

Q: The album is much more electronically designed than your previous releases.

Neuwirth: The music is very close to my current private taste. For example, when I sang the great ballads and wore pompous clothes, I only heard things like Celine Dion. That just fit, that was the soundtrack of my life. Now it is a bit rougher.

Q: "Truth Over Magnitude" links the music culture of Vienna, where you are still living, in a certain way. On the one hand Vienna is the city of the opera ball, on the other hand there has always been a vital club culture there. Have you ever been to a rave?

Neuwirth: What does it mean, because "still living"? Vienna is the most beautiful city in the world! If you believe the "Economist", Vienna has just been declared the most liveable city in the world for the third time in a row! As far as the scene is concerned, I've never been to a rave before. But I have to do that, I'm sure I’d enjoy it. But I live in my own world. I do not need someone else for everything to make certain experiences. Honestly, for many things I do, at first I just have no idea how to do that. What are the codes, what are the rules? - I have never had rules.

Q: The single "Trash All The Glam" can be interpreted as a break. Where does this change of heart come from?

Neuwirth: At some point I asked myself why I did not make the music that I hear privately. Thankfully, I met Albin Janoska who, for example, also produced SON and understands this genre. And I was able to win Eva Klampfer, who also appears as Lylit, as a copywriter. Albin instantly got me into this electric world, that was great. Hand on heart: I can not write songs. My thoughts are too simple, my tunes are not mature enough. I also do not write a diary, for example. But what I always do is pick things up. Sounds, melodies, phrases - then I open Garageband and hold that tight. Out of this, a whole archive was created, which I gave to Albin, and he produced demos based on that. He chopped my voice into samples for example and, well, just made magic. Suddenly I recognized myself in this music. Then everything went very easily.

Extremely hot!

Q: Did you learn songwriting by doing this work?

Neuwirth: I do not think so. But I found my place when it comes to making music. It seems to be to document everything that drips out of my brain and heart. These are not lines of text or melodies, but moments and my personal story. I am in a position to be able to make music that is a part of me, even though I am technically only partially involved in the direct creation process. I am a kind of catalyst.

Q: Would you call yourself a musician?

Neuwirth: No, I'm not a musician. I'm a singer, actor, director, fashion designer, hairstylist, make-up artist, tailor and, if you like, interpreter. My problem with music is that you can not see it. But I'm a visual guy. Everything that I can see, I can judge and manipulate according to my ideas and let something arise. But that's not possible with music. That's why I love to make videos, for example. I listen to a song and have a movie in my head. In my music videos, I am also the boss who keeps everything in view.

Q: Your appearance is often interpreted as politically motivated. For example, in the video for "See Me Now", you're dancing in a red-lit window, suggesting a connotation to the red-light milieu. Was it here a concern to show that personalities are also taking place in this industry?

Neuwirth: Thanks for that, I'll use that in the future (laughs). Actually, I just wanted to show what my world looks like. The video shows what I like and how I find myself sexy. That was basically the starting point. I love being the center of attention, I love to be viewed, and I love to be talked about. That was basically the idea. I love my body too, I think I look extremely hot and I want everyone to see that. (Laughs)

The stomach - all of a sudden

Q: Do you prefer standing on stage or in the studio?

Neuwirth: On stage! I hate to be in the studio. You are so close to your own mistakes. Of course, I pull myself together and always sing the take as if it were the last one I ever recorded. But I can not stand it if I can not do something. Then I could disassemble the studio! This is the hardest part of my job. But I do not leave that to the producer. It just seethes in me.

Q: Maybe you should try meditation.

Neuwirth: In many situations I feel very emotional, that also notices my environment, but I'm not so quick-tempered. I have already tried meditating and do this at irregular intervals. But that does not always work.

Q: Speaking of mistakes: In the run-up to "T.O.M", many media have talked about your fitness. How hard did you like the change in sports and nutrition?

Neuwirth: Not at all. I am very vain and have spent months at airports after the ESC, where you quickly eat a bite to get on the next plane. Suddenly, I discovered something on my stomach that I did not know. My stylist then recommended a coach. When we started to exercise, I became aware of what it means to control your body through this really narcissistic reason. I found it fascinating how much control you have in the end. For example, in the past, I could not independently clamp different muscle groups. That's not terribly important, but I love to dance, and being able to move so flexibly is a win. I also see that as an investment in my future. I hope that I maintain this will to keep fit. I wish to be fit even in old age.

[dipulb3]

Ikea Fyrtur smart shade review: I'm keeping this thing

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/ikea-fyrtur-smart-shade-review-im-keeping-this-thing-4/

Ikea Fyrtur smart shade review: I'm keeping this thing

The window on my home’s front door has no curtain or blind, which is something I’ve long wanted to fix since it looks straight out onto the street. There are plenty of basic options that will get the job done, but I’ve been holding out for something a little fancier — and preferably something that I can automate, or control with my voice. I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want to live like a Bond villain?

Like

Incredible value compared to competitors like Lutron, Somfy and Tilt.

Easy-to-use app covers all of the bases for smart control, grouping and scheduling.

Simple, easy to use voice controls vie Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant.

Removable, rechargeable lithium-ion battery.

Magnetic wireless remote comes included.

Don’t Like

Totally non-customizable design, available only in gray.

Slightly ugly metal housing.

Gateway device for app and voice controls sold separately.

Mounting screws not included.

No way to manually raise or lower the shades when the battery is dead.

Enter the budget-friendly home furnishings of Ikea. After initially getting its feet wet with the Tradfri smart lighting system, the Swedish retailer announced in 2018 that it was working on app- and voice-enabled roller blinds to go with it. Initially pitched for release in April of 2019, the blinds hit a number of delays during development before quietly starting to hit stores toward the end of the year under the Fyrtur name.

That was welcome news for me, because Ikea’s smart shades support voice controls via Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant and start at just $129. Most everything else in the smart shade category costs quite a bit more than that.

How much more? Well, motorized roller shades of all sizes cost a flat $399 apiece from Tilt, and you have to pay extra for the hub that smartens them up and syncs them with your voice assistant of choice (“Free shipping on orders over $2,000,” the website reads). A single motorized smart blackout shade from Lutron’s Serena collection similar to the ones we tested at the CNET Smart Home a few years back added up to about $660 when I customized it to fit my door’s window on the Serena website and added in a Lutron Bridge for app and voice control — and you’ll play in the same high-priced ballpark if you’re shopping for Lutron’s new smart wood blinds, too. What about a smart shade from Somfy? You’ll have to connect with a third-party dealer and pay who knows what.

All of that gives Ikea’s Fyrtur shades the look of a game-changer for the category. And the value is indeed pretty strong here, especially for folks like me who have long felt priced out of the category altogether. It isn’t the prettiest-looking piece of window dressing — and you can’t customize the design at all, which is a drag — but if you just want the Bond villain satisfaction of telling your voice assistant of choice to lower the shades without needing to spend one meeeeellion dollars on them, then these are the roller blinds you’ve been waiting for.

Ry Crist/CNET

The Fyrtur is now

Available now, Ikea’s Fyrtur smart shades come in eight different sizes. Each one is 76 inches long when the shade is fully extended, but the width varies from 23 inches ($129) up to 48 inches ($179). There’s very little markup from size to size, and just $50 separating the smallest Fyrtur from the largest, so good on Ikea for not bilking people here. For my front door’s window, I went with the 27-inch version, which costs $139.

No matter what size you need, your shade will come with heather gray blackout fabric and a metal, industrial-looking overhang. I wouldn’t call it ugly, but it definitely isn’t eye-catching. You can’t customize the way they look at all, either — no special-cut sizes, no fancy colors or materials, no nothin’. That’s the key trade-off here — competitors like Lutron and Somfy will let you customize your shades in all sorts of ways, but they cost substantially more than what Ikea’s asking.

Ikea Fyrtur Smart Shade sizes

Width (inches) 23 27 30 32 34 36 38 48 Price $129 $139 $149 $154 $159 $164 $169 $179

Each Fyrtur shade comes with a rechargeable lithium-ion battery to power it, a wireless remote to control it at a touch, and mounting brackets that you’ll need to screw it into place. They don’t come with screws, though. Since your mounting needs will vary, Ikea makes you pick out your own screws, which feels like a bit of a cop-out since it could have included two or three sets of the most commonly used varieties, along with instructions on what to get if you need something else.

Okay, made a quick run to the hardware store this morning for some lath screws — now, I’ve got those brackets in place above the door window and the Ikea Fyrtur smart blind hanging neatly in place. Time to finish setup and start testing it out. pic.twitter.com/BWIm7xc5by

— Ry Crist (@rycrist) June 3, 2020

Still, after a quick trip to the hardware store to grab a fresh pack of self-drilling no. 8 lath screws, I was all set to drill the thing into place at the top of my door. Doing so was relatively painless — just measure to determine where the brackets should go, mark the spots with a pencil, and screw them in. Once you’ve done that, the entire Fyrtur blind clips into place beneath them. It’s somewhat heavy, but the brackets do a good job at keeping everything secure

Trip to the hardware store aside, I was able to install one myself in about 20 minutes (and I was tweeting each step of the way, too — here’s the link to that thread in case you want to see the play-by-play).

Each Fyrtur blind comes with a magnetic wireless remote.

Ry Crist/CNET

Smart controls

Once the blind is installed, you’ll use the included Micro-USB cable to give the battery a quick charge, and then pop it into place in the housing. At that point, you’ll be able to push a pair of inconspicuous buttons on the overhang to move the blind up and down. Plug in an odd-looking, two-piece signal repeater that comes with each blind, and you’ll be able to pair the wireless remote with your blinds, too. Just unscrew the back, insert the coin battery, and then hold a pairing button down while holding it up close to the blind. It’s magnetic, too, which is a nice touch if you just want to keep the thing on the fridge.

You’ll need Ikea’s Tradfri Gateway plugged into your router in order to control the blinds from the app or with a voice command. It sells separately for $35.

Ry Crist/CNET

For app and voice controls, you’ll need Ikea’s Tradfri Gateway plugged into your router. It sells separately for a reasonable $35, and works just like a Philips Hue Bridge, translating the Zigbee signals sent by your Tradfri lights and Fyrtur blinds into something your home network can understand. The Tradfri app also includes controls for Ikea’s line of smart speakers, though I didn’t have one on hand to test out how well those integrate into the system.

With the Gateway up and running and everything properly paired up, you’ll be able to raise and lower the blinds from your Android or iOS device. You can also program your blinds to open and close on an automated schedule. And, importantly, the app tells you how to specify a maximum extension length for each blind, which keeps it from spooling out onto your floor when you tell it to lower to 100%. 

In my case, I only needed a little more than half of the full 76 inches of fabric in order to cover the window on my door — so, I extended the blind to that point and then held down some buttons for a few seconds in order to lock that length in. Once I did, the blind wouldn’t go any lower than that when I tried to close it. Perfect.

One other quick note about the app: It includes a well-organized privacy policy that makes clear what info Ikea collects about you as you use your smart shades. And, as you might expect from a company based in Europe, where privacy laws are a lot stronger than they are in the US, those details are sensible and sound. Namely, the app collects IP addresses and access tokens used to connect with Amazon, Apple and Google. Ikea lists all of the ways it uses and protects that data, and says that it doesn’t share that data with anyone other than authorized IT service providers.

Ikea’s Tradfri app lets you control or automate your blinds from your phone, and it’ll tell you how to connect with a voice assistant, too.

Screenshots by Ry Crist/CNET

The app also offers instructions on how to pair with Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant. I mainly use Alexa in my home, so I started there, and had the connection up and running in about a minute. Everything worked great. When I told Alexa to lower the shade, the shade would drop down to my preset maximum length. When I told Alexa to raise the shade, it neatly wound itself back up. When I told Alexa to set the shade to 50%, the shade raised to cover the top half of the window. Those same basic controls worked well with Siri and the Google Assistant, too.

You can also control those blinds using the automated controls offered by each of those three voice platforms. For instance, I have an Alexa routine that turns off lights and sets the thermostat whenever I go to bed. Now, that routine makes sure the shade is closed, too.

If you’re an Apple HomeKit user, you’ll be able to see what percentage the blind’s rechargeable battery is at in the Home app.

Ry Crist/CNET

Controls like those are more or less the same on each platform, with some slight differences (one nice extra on the Apple HomeKit front: the Home app will tell you what percentage the blind’s battery is at). Between that, the voice controls, and the app scheduling, Ikea’s shades offer everything I want as far as smarts are concerned.

Still, these blinds don’t get everything right. Though the heather gray looks fine to me, the most obvious issue is the lack of any color choices for the fabric, and there aren’t any Ikea alternatives for folks looking for smart slatted-style blinds, or cellular blinds, either. 

Another issue: While you get those two little buttons on the blind housing as a form of physical control, you can’t manually roll the blinds by hand when they aren’t powered. The rechargeable battery packs are a pretty nice touch here, and more convenient than the D-cell batteries needed to power Lutron’s luxurious Serena shades, but that still seems like an oversight to me.

Ry Crist/CNET

I’m keeping it

As a badly needed value pick in an intriguing smart home category, Ikea’s Fyrtur smart shades check all of the boxes. The design is admittedly basic, especially the clunky-looking metal housing, but that doesn’t bother me too much at this price. More important is that the Fyrtur shade was easy to install, easy to program and connect with whatever voice assistant you like, and easy to use. It brings some new utility to my smart home that I couldn’t previously afford. I’ll take it.

I mean that literally, by the way. I paid for this thing and I like it enough to keep it right where it is at my front door. Along with making my living room feel a bit more private and high tech, it’ll give me a good, first-hand sense of how long the battery lasts on a charge (hopefully at least a few months with light usage). I’ll report back once I have that info, but for now, I’m more than comfortable recommending Ikea’s Fyrtur blinds to just about anyone interested in adding smart shades to their smart home setup without breaking the bank.

[dipulb3]

Ikea Fyrtur smart shade review: I'm keeping this thing

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/ikea-fyrtur-smart-shade-review-im-keeping-this-thing-2/

Ikea Fyrtur smart shade review: I'm keeping this thing

The window on my home’s front door has no curtain or blind, which is something I’ve long wanted to fix since it looks straight out onto the street. There are plenty of basic options that will get the job done, but I’ve been holding out for something a little fancier — and preferably something that I can automate, or control with my voice. I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want to live like a Bond villain?

Like

Incredible value compared to competitors like Lutron, Somfy and Tilt.

Easy-to-use app covers all of the bases for smart control, grouping and scheduling.

Simple, easy to use voice controls vie Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant.

Removable, rechargeable lithium-ion battery.

Magnetic wireless remote comes included.

Don’t Like

Totally non-customizable design, available only in gray.

Slightly ugly metal housing.

Gateway device for app and voice controls sold separately.

Mounting screws not included.

No way to manually raise or lower the shades when the battery is dead.

Enter the budget-friendly home furnishings of Ikea. After initially getting its feet wet with the Tradfri smart lighting system, the Swedish retailer announced in 2018 that it was working on app- and voice-enabled roller blinds to go with it. Initially pitched for release in April of 2019, the blinds hit a number of delays during development before quietly starting to hit stores toward the end of the year under the Fyrtur name.

That was welcome news for me, because Ikea’s smart shades support voice controls via Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant and start at just $129. Most everything else in the smart shade category costs quite a bit more than that.

How much more? Well, motorized roller shades of all sizes cost a flat $399 apiece from Tilt, and you have to pay extra for the hub that smartens them up and syncs them with your voice assistant of choice (“Free shipping on orders over $2,000,” the website reads). A single motorized smart blackout shade from Lutron’s Serena collection similar to the ones we tested at the CNET Smart Home a few years back added up to about $660 when I customized it to fit my door’s window on the Serena website and added in a Lutron Bridge for app and voice control — and you’ll play in the same high-priced ballpark if you’re shopping for Lutron’s new smart wood blinds, too. What about a smart shade from Somfy? You’ll have to connect with a third-party dealer and pay who knows what.

All of that gives Ikea’s Fyrtur shades the look of a game-changer for the category. And the value is indeed pretty strong here, especially for folks like me who have long felt priced out of the category altogether. It isn’t the prettiest-looking piece of window dressing — and you can’t customize the design at all, which is a drag — but if you just want the Bond villain satisfaction of telling your voice assistant of choice to lower the shades without needing to spend one meeeeellion dollars on them, then these are the roller blinds you’ve been waiting for.

Ry Crist/CNET

The Fyrtur is now

Available now, Ikea’s Fyrtur smart shades come in eight different sizes. Each one is 76 inches long when the shade is fully extended, but the width varies from 23 inches ($129) up to 48 inches ($179). There’s very little markup from size to size, and just $50 separating the smallest Fyrtur from the largest, so good on Ikea for not bilking people here. For my front door’s window, I went with the 27-inch version, which costs $139.

No matter what size you need, your shade will come with heather gray blackout fabric and a metal, industrial-looking overhang. I wouldn’t call it ugly, but it definitely isn’t eye-catching. You can’t customize the way they look at all, either — no special-cut sizes, no fancy colors or materials, no nothin’. That’s the key trade-off here — competitors like Lutron and Somfy will let you customize your shades in all sorts of ways, but they cost substantially more than what Ikea’s asking.

Ikea Fyrtur Smart Shade sizes

Width (inches) 23 27 30 32 34 36 38 48 Price $129 $139 $149 $154 $159 $164 $169 $179

Each Fyrtur shade comes with a rechargeable lithium-ion battery to power it, a wireless remote to control it at a touch, and mounting brackets that you’ll need to screw it into place. They don’t come with screws, though. Since your mounting needs will vary, Ikea makes you pick out your own screws, which feels like a bit of a cop-out since it could have included two or three sets of the most commonly used varieties, along with instructions on what to get if you need something else.

Okay, made a quick run to the hardware store this morning for some lath screws — now, I’ve got those brackets in place above the door window and the Ikea Fyrtur smart blind hanging neatly in place. Time to finish setup and start testing it out. pic.twitter.com/BWIm7xc5by

— Ry Crist (@rycrist) June 3, 2020

Still, after a quick trip to the hardware store to grab a fresh pack of self-drilling no. 8 lath screws, I was all set to drill the thing into place at the top of my door. Doing so was relatively painless — just measure to determine where the brackets should go, mark the spots with a pencil, and screw them in. Once you’ve done that, the entire Fyrtur blind clips into place beneath them. It’s somewhat heavy, but the brackets do a good job at keeping everything secure

Trip to the hardware store aside, I was able to install one myself in about 20 minutes (and I was tweeting each step of the way, too — here’s the link to that thread in case you want to see the play-by-play).

Each Fyrtur blind comes with a magnetic wireless remote.

Ry Crist/CNET

Smart controls

Once the blind is installed, you’ll use the included Micro-USB cable to give the battery a quick charge, and then pop it into place in the housing. At that point, you’ll be able to push a pair of inconspicuous buttons on the overhang to move the blind up and down. Plug in an odd-looking, two-piece signal repeater that comes with each blind, and you’ll be able to pair the wireless remote with your blinds, too. Just unscrew the back, insert the coin battery, and then hold a pairing button down while holding it up close to the blind. It’s magnetic, too, which is a nice touch if you just want to keep the thing on the fridge.

You’ll need Ikea’s Tradfri Gateway plugged into your router in order to control the blinds from the app or with a voice command. It sells separately for $35.

Ry Crist/CNET

For app and voice controls, you’ll need Ikea’s Tradfri Gateway plugged into your router. It sells separately for a reasonable $35, and works just like a Philips Hue Bridge, translating the Zigbee signals sent by your Tradfri lights and Fyrtur blinds into something your home network can understand. The Tradfri app also includes controls for Ikea’s line of smart speakers, though I didn’t have one on hand to test out how well those integrate into the system.

With the Gateway up and running and everything properly paired up, you’ll be able to raise and lower the blinds from your Android or iOS device. You can also program your blinds to open and close on an automated schedule. And, importantly, the app tells you how to specify a maximum extension length for each blind, which keeps it from spooling out onto your floor when you tell it to lower to 100%. 

In my case, I only needed a little more than half of the full 76 inches of fabric in order to cover the window on my door — so, I extended the blind to that point and then held down some buttons for a few seconds in order to lock that length in. Once I did, the blind wouldn’t go any lower than that when I tried to close it. Perfect.

One other quick note about the app: It includes a well-organized privacy policy that makes clear what info Ikea collects about you as you use your smart shades. And, as you might expect from a company based in Europe, where privacy laws are a lot stronger than they are in the US, those details are sensible and sound. Namely, the app collects IP addresses and access tokens used to connect with Amazon, Apple and Google. Ikea lists all of the ways it uses and protects that data, and says that it doesn’t share that data with anyone other than authorized IT service providers.

Ikea’s Tradfri app lets you control or automate your blinds from your phone, and it’ll tell you how to connect with a voice assistant, too.

Screenshots by Ry Crist/CNET

The app also offers instructions on how to pair with Siri, Alexa or the Google Assistant. I mainly use Alexa in my home, so I started there, and had the connection up and running in about a minute. Everything worked great. When I told Alexa to lower the shade, the shade would drop down to my preset maximum length. When I told Alexa to raise the shade, it neatly wound itself back up. When I told Alexa to set the shade to 50%, the shade raised to cover the top half of the window. Those same basic controls worked well with Siri and the Google Assistant, too.

You can also control those blinds using the automated controls offered by each of those three voice platforms. For instance, I have an Alexa routine that turns off lights and sets the thermostat whenever I go to bed. Now, that routine makes sure the shade is closed, too.

If you’re an Apple HomeKit user, you’ll be able to see what percentage the blind’s rechargeable battery is at in the Home app.

Ry Crist/CNET

Controls like those are more or less the same on each platform, with some slight differences (one nice extra on the Apple HomeKit front: the Home app will tell you what percentage the blind’s battery is at). Between that, the voice controls, and the app scheduling, Ikea’s shades offer everything I want as far as smarts are concerned.

Still, these blinds don’t get everything right. Though the heather gray looks fine to me, the most obvious issue is the lack of any color choices for the fabric, and there aren’t any Ikea alternatives for folks looking for smart slatted-style blinds, or cellular blinds, either. 

Another issue: While you get those two little buttons on the blind housing as a form of physical control, you can’t manually roll the blinds by hand when they aren’t powered. The rechargeable battery packs are a pretty nice touch here, and more convenient than the D-cell batteries needed to power Lutron’s luxurious Serena shades, but that still seems like an oversight to me.

Ry Crist/CNET

I’m keeping it

As a badly needed value pick in an intriguing smart home category, Ikea’s Fyrtur smart shades check all of the boxes. The design is admittedly basic, especially the clunky-looking metal housing, but that doesn’t bother me too much at this price. More important is that the Fyrtur shade was easy to install, easy to program and connect with whatever voice assistant you like, and easy to use. It brings some new utility to my smart home that I couldn’t previously afford. I’ll take it.

I mean that literally, by the way. I paid for this thing and I like it enough to keep it right where it is at my front door. Along with making my living room feel a bit more private and high tech, it’ll give me a good, first-hand sense of how long the battery lasts on a charge (hopefully at least a few months with light usage). I’ll report back once I have that info, but for now, I’m more than comfortable recommending Ikea’s Fyrtur blinds to just about anyone interested in adding smart shades to their smart home setup without breaking the bank.