#so if it doesn't fit laying down i can try to prop it up on the cap or whatever

[pedroshotwifey]

For the NSFW prompts, can you do #25 with Dave and Dieter and GN reader?

Hey, babe! Here it is in all of its filthy glory! I'm not sure what came over me, but I do know what (who) came over them :)

Pairing: Sub!Dieter Bravo x Sub!GN!reader x Dom!Dave York

W/C: 2.4k

Tags/warnings: polyamory, established relationship, dom & sub roles, finger fucking, ass eating, orgasm denial, edging, playful banter/undertones, fluff, smut, healthy relationship, aftercare, blowjobs, deepthroating, facial, cum eating, ball play, mutual masturbation, hair pulling, pet names, degradation (not rly but kinda), one singular spank, one singular barely there face slap, no description of reader other than they have hair (doesn't specify how long), Dee and reader being little shits

Summary: You and Dieter think it's fun to tease Dave, and Dave thinks he should teach you both a lesson for it.

Tease

Dave probably only got home about half an hour ago, but you’re already starting to feel the effect he has on you. You’ve been a bit pent up all day, and you can’t help it anymore. He, you, and Dieter have been cuddling in bed for most of the time he’s been here, you on his left and Dee on his right as you savor his presence in the dark. You’ve had a feeling that Dee’s been just as pent up as you all day, but now you hear him snoring—which is pretty on brand for him. 

The two of you are allowed to mess around while Dave's at work, the only rule being that neither of you are allowed to come without his permission. So, technically, it’s your own fault for starting shit with Dee this morning. But still. You need him for backup right now. How do you just fall asleep after being edged for a solid hour and a half?  

You’re lying so that your back is to Dave’s front, and obviously you can’t resist grinding your ass back into him. You’ve been making subtle adjustments for the last ten minutes or so, feeling him grow harder and harder. 

You hide your smile in the pillow as you push your ass against him again, attempting to play innocent for however long you can. Of course, it doesn’t work. You hear an intake of breath before Dave slides a hand over your hip and growls into your ear. 

“You don’t realize what it does to me when we’re cuddling and you press your ass against me.” 

You put on your best guiltless face and crane your neck to look at him. “What do you mean?” you ask sweetly. He just gives you a pointed look—a warning. 

I mean, you do have to admire his composure thus far. Had it been Dieter, he would probably already be all over you already. As if on cue, you see a bed-messed head rise up behind Dave’s broad shoulders. He looks like he just woke up, which is probably accurate. 

“They can grind it against me if they want,” he offers like he’s doing the two of you a great service, face serious. He’s propped up on his side, and you can tell the exact moment he grinds against Dave’s ass because Dave whips around and shoots him that same glare he gave you a few seconds ago. Dieter just smiles and you have to hold in your laugh, which makes him have to hold in his laugh, which causes the both of you to lose it. 

You both fall back down on either side of Dave, your laughter growing as he looks between the two of you, trying to figure out what the hell is happening. He ends up grumbling something neither of you catch through your fits of giggles. 

“I guess both of you need to be taught a lesson, acting like children,” he says. 

That catches your attention, and the laughter stops almost immediately. You and Dieter catch each other’s eyes yet again, but this time they’re filled with mischief, excitement, and anticipation. 

“Oh no, please don’t do that,” you drawl, very obviously sarcastic. Dave brings his attention back to where you’re now laying on your back looking up at him, and his face could probably be summed up into the ‘listen here, you little shit’ meme. You hear Dee snickering behind him. 

You flash him a wink and he can’t take it anymore. He sits all the way up and starts to get out of bed, going to turn the light on. 

“Both of you,” he tosses over his shoulder. “Get up and strip.” 

He doesn’t have to say it twice. You and Dieter quickly scramble out and start pulling your clothes off as Dave walks back to the bed, only unbuckling his belt. Before he takes a seat on the edge and waits for both of you to finish. As Dieter pulls his pants down, you can’t help but glance at his cock, still hard as it was earlier. 

“Come here, Dieter,” Dave points to the bed beside him, and Dee is quick to follow his instruction. You see him gulp as he climbs onto the bed, sure to be on his best behavior. He knows he’s in trouble when Dave uses his full name. “Hands and knees,” he tells him. Dee gets into position. 

You watch with pleading eyes, waiting to join in on the fun. 

“Get behind him,” he says to you. “I think he wants your sweet tongue in his ass. Don’t you, Dee?” 

You climb onto the bed behind him, taking position as Dee nods frantically. 

“Ask nicely,” Dave demands, settling up behind you and placing a hand on your back. 

“Please eat my ass, I need it,” Dieter begs you, pushing it out more in invitation. 

“Good boy. Go ahead, baby,” he tells you. “Give him what he wants.” 

You quickly surge forward, licking a stripe up his taint and feeling him shiver against you as he lets out a long groan. 

You try your best to ignore the way Dave’s hand starts to creep further down your body, cupping your ass. It goes away for a second, and when his fingers return, they’re covered in what you can assume is his saliva. He trails them down to your hole, not pushing them in but just teasing. You whine against Dieter as you circle his hole, your hips pushing back to try to get Dave inside of you. 

Clearly, that wasn’t a good choice because there’s very quickly a spank against your ass, making you jolt. “Be good,” He reminds you. You nod and finally slip your tongue inside of Dieter, making him moan and his hips thrust forward, his cock swinging in the air. You keep going, working him further by thrusting the muscle in and out as Dave’s fingers come back to your own hole, this time allowing one to slip in about halfway. You keen but do your best to not push back, just keep focusing on Dee, doing what he likes. 

Dieter moans again as you touch that spot he loves so much, and you can tell he’s fighting the urge to touch his aching cock. 

Dave pushes his finger all the way in and you start to tremble with need. You pull your tongue back and start to circle Dieter’s rim again, and this time his hand comes back and threads through your hair, not pulling or pushing, but most likely there to stabilize himself. 

“Mhhp, ‘s so good,” he whines. 

Dave chuckles and you can see him shaking his head out of the corner of your eye. “Desperate things.” 

He’s pumping his finger in and out of you now, and he adds a second as your tongue pushes back into Dieter’s ass. You can feel heat start to lick at the base of your spine and curl up in your belly, and you’re sure that Dee’s probably feeling the same right now. You catch a glimpse of Dave’s other arm moving, and you know he’s palming himself over his slacks. 

Dave’s fingers speed up, and you can feel yourself getting close. Judging by the way Dieter’s whines grow more high pitched and his body starts to shake, he must be getting close, too. 

“D-Dave,” Dieter whimpers. “Please can I come? Pleasepleasepleaseplease.” 

His hips are rocking now, and you place a hand on his thigh to steady him as you increase your efforts. You’re almost there, too. You just need a little more of Dave slamming his fingers deep inside of you, crooking them just right.

You’re about to signal to ask, to fall apart with Dieter, when Dave’s fingers quickly pull out, and then you’re being dragged away from Dee’s ass. 

“No!” you cry as Dave pulls you to him, your building orgasm beginning to fade. Dieter collapses, a groan of defeat leaving his lips. 

Dave laughs, holding you and making you watch as Dee lays in a panting heap on the bed. You look up at him, a million different emotions in your eyes. When you look back to Dieter, you find an expression that probably matches yours watching your Dom as well. 

Dave looks back and forth between you, a smirk playing at his lips. “What? Not funny when I do it?” 

Your jaw just about drops. So that’s what this is. You almost forgot about that. You look at Dieter, who dramatically plants his face into the mattress. 

“Get back up, Dieter, both of you on your knees, now.”

You both slide from the bed, much less enthusiastically than you had gotten on. Dave, the only one still smiling, gets off behind the two of you and walks past where you’ve gotten into position side by side on your knees. 

You both watch him, trying not to drool as he slowly strips out of his clothes and then walks back to you, his hard cock hanging tauntingly in front of you. You can’t take your eyes off of it, the bead of precum at the tip as he firmly grasps it. 

“Well?” 

You and Dee are pulled from your trance, both of you looking up at Dave’s face. “Open your mouths,” he tells you, leaving no room for negotiation—not that either of you would want such a thing. You both obey, opening your jaws and showing your tongues. 

“There we go,” Dave encourages condescendingly. He taps the tip of his cock on your tongues one at a time, giving each you the smallest taste. 

“Okay, here’s how this is going to go. You’re going to touch yourselves while you suck my cock, and if you can come before I do, then go ahead, you don’t have to ask permission.” 

You both perk up at this, tongues still out and waiting. 

“If you can’t though,” Dave continues, something dangerous flickering in his eyes. “Then you’ll just have to wait until I decide you can.” 

You and Dee stay facing him, but your eyes flicker toward each other. You both know that he doesn’t just mean wait hour or a day. He might make you wait a week—more if he feels like it. If you want relief any time soon, it needs to happen now. 

“Well? What are you sluts waiting for?” 

You both surge forward, mouths finding his shaft and sucking once he moves his hand out of the way. He tastes so fucking good—salty and musky. You both moan at the same time, sending vibrations up Dave’s cock and making him groan. 

“Fucking good job,” Dave mutters. Dieter whimpers at the praise, and you feel yourself throb, which is the second you remember you’re allowed to touch yourself. 

You thrust your hand down between your legs, immediately starting to work yourself. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at finally being able to do something about the ache that’s been there all day. There’s a sudden sting on your cheek, and you’re forced to look back up at Dave from where he landed the soft smack. He’s watching you with a piercing gaze, and it sends another spark through you, getting you close to the edge again. 

Keeping up the pace between your thighs as much as you can, you keep your eyes on Dave and lick up his thick shaft, tasting more precum as well as Dee’s drool. Dee moves over enough for you to move your mouth to Dave’s tip, and you take it in, sucking and using your tongue to flick the head of it. With the combination of your impending orgasm and Dave’s husky taste on your tongue, your entire body feels fuzzy and light.

“Oh, shit,” Dave grunts and places his hand on your head, gently pushing you further onto him. Dee moves lower and starts to nip and suck as Dave’s heavy balls. You can hear the furious slapping sound of Dieter getting himself off, see the way his cheeks start to gain more color as he gets closer to the edge. 

Dave starts to thrust into you, your lips stretching around his girth. When he hits the back of your throat, you gag, your eyes filling with tears. It’s almost hard to focus on the intrusion, however, when you have the pleasant, heated sensation swirling in your lower abdomen. You’re almost cross-eyed by the time Dieter comes back up and starts to lick at Dave’s length when you’re pulled off. 

Dave’s panting heavily now, a sure sign that he’s getting close. A surge of panic floods through you, and you move your hand even quicker, whining in relief once you know you’re going to be able to come. You’re so close. You switch with Dee, who now has his moans being choked by Dave’s cock, and start to lick at Dave’s balls. 

The symphony of noises coming from the three of you is loud. The slap of skin on skin where Dee fists his cock, the breathy moans and curses spilling off of Dave’s tongue, the gargles coming from Dee’s throat, the keens from you. 

You all finish at the same time, groans and growls filling the bedroom as you and Dee are tugged back, coming on your hands as your mouths fall open and your eyes close in pure bliss. The pleasure races through you, forcing you back on your haunches even as you keep up your movements to ride out your high. Dave’s salty cum paints your face, and you don’t have to look to know Dee is receiving the same treatment. 

You wait until you’re sure all of you are done before you open your eyes. You all breathe heavily, you and Dee sinking down to your asses and leaning against the side of the bed as Dave crouches down in front of you. He watches both of you, savoring the sight of you both so fucked out and wearing his seed. 

One at a time, he leans forward and kisses your heads. “I’m going to go get some towels and water,” he says, his voice gentle now. Dee nods and scootches close to you, snuggling up even though you’re still on the floor and your bodies are sticky with sweat. You smile, again reminded of how lucky you are to be so close to these two. Dave just shakes his head at the two of you.

“Stay out of trouble while I’m gone,” he jokes. 

Yeah, right. Dieter will probably be falling asleep again in the thirty seconds it’ll take him to get back.

***** Want to read more requests or submit your own? Try this link!

[pilotstreets]

attempting to make trash out of perler beads rn :-)

[noisynaia]

𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑰𝑺 𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮

summary: The good old 'oh no, there's only one bed' trope.

pairing: Joel Miller x afab!reader 

word count: 3.8k 

note: Explicit (18+). Vaginal fingering, unprotected P in V, creampie. No use of (y/n). Nightmares. This has not been beta nor proof read and English is not my native language.

“Can you cut it out?” You sigh at the man who is currently and stubbornly laying on the hard floor next to the bed.    

It had been raining heavily for the entire day, the downpour so heavy that you couldn’t see more than a foot or two in front of you. All three of you were soaked to the bone and freezing. Spirit had been very low in your little travel group. Ellie had not come with her usual jokes and Joel had been even grumpier than usual so stumbling upon the little cabin had been a real stroke of luck. There had even been a dresser with enough dry clothes for all three of you to change into. 

You had given Ellie the couch in the living room since that was with the fireplace, leaving the single bedroom for you and Joel. 

“Just get up here. There’s plenty of space for the both of us.” You continue, cursing him and his damn stubbornness. The bed is not huge, but it will fit two people finely. 

“I’m fine down here. Trust me, I’ve had worse.” He just grumbles.  

You sigh, peeking your head over the edge of the mattress to look down at him. ��I know you have a bad back and I need you to be well rested and alert, okay.” He tilts his head to look at you. “We both do…” You add, using Ellie to guilt trip him is maybe a little low, but you know it’s going to work and it is not like what you’re saying isn’t true. 

“Fine.” He finally sighs, as he gets up from the dusty floor, his knees creaking slightly before laying down next to you, but he doesn't get under the cover, instead laying straight on his back on top of the comforter with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes staring straight up at the ceiling.        

You want to tell him to just relax and get under the covers, but you don’t want to push your luck, so you just settle for the small victory of getting him into the bed, and who knows as sad as it makes you, maybe he really finds sleeping next to you more uncomfortable than the floor. 

You try not to dwell on that possibility too much, ashamed of how much that would affect you, so you just get comfortable under the covers instead. Turning to lay on your side, facing away from him as you close your eyes, but sleep doesn’t come to you.    

“Can I ask you something?” You whisper into the silent room, somehow knowing that he hasn’t fallen asleep yet. 

“Sure.” 

“It will never get easier will it? Living in this world… I tell myself that it will, that it is going to hurt less with time but… I’m just kidding myself, aren’t I?”

He doesn’t answer for a long time and you start to think that he may have fallen asleep before he finally breaks the silence. “No, I don’t think it will ever get easier.” A short beat of silence before he continues. “But I guess we can hope.” 

You sigh at his words. You really do hope so. The two of you are quiet again and you think he might have fallen asleep when he finally speaks again.  

 “Thank you.” Joel whispers into the darkness.

“For what?” You turn your head slightly towards him.  

“For tolerating my bullshit I guess.” 

It is the last words exchanged between you before sleep finally creeps up on the both of you. 

—

You wake up only a few hours into the night by the feeling of Joel’s frantic movements. He is tossing and turning uneasily and uttering incomprehensible muttered words. You turn around to face him, barely capable of making him out in the darkness of the room.

“Joel” You whisper, propping yourself up on your elbow, making you hover over him slightly. 

You watch the distressed look on his face, his eyes shut tight and his brows furrowed. Whispers of some terror make it out of his mouth. Your hand is hovering over his arm, unsure if he would be okay with your touch. But his nightmare seemingly continues. You frown and gently place your hand over his arm, softly rubbing the spot with your thumb.

“Joel.” You speak softly. “Wake up.”

You can feel how his whole body is shaking. He finally opens his eyes, letting out a gasp. His eyes wide and unfocused, clearly terrified of whatever he’d dreamed about, before they lock with yours and his gaze relaxes a little. 

“I’m sorry.” He mutters, his rapid breathing is slowly coming under control. 

“Don’t apologize.” You frown at him, your eyes are now better accustomed to the darkness and you can see his face more clearly. “I get them too.” You confess dropping your head back on the pillow.

“Do you need anything?” You ask, feeling him move slightly on the mattress.

“No.” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

Silence falls over you, the two of you just laying and listening to your own quiet heartbeats. 

“Why don’t you get under the covers?” You finally say, almost a little pleading.

And to your happy surprise he actually does. Joining you under the covers, even though he lays stiff as a board and way closer to the edge of the bed than he needs to. You can live with that, you are just happy that he at least can be a little more comfortable and warm. 

“Joel?”

“Yes?”

“You can talk to me, you know? If you ever need it”

A beat of silence. 

“Yeah… I know darling.” 

Darling. You think your heart skips a beat by the endearing name and you let out a sigh as you finally close your eyes again. “Goodnight Joel” 

“Goodnight.” 

—

You wake again in the early hours of the morning. It’s a slow ease into consciousness, a much gentler awakening than you normally get to have. Your eyes are still closed, and the only thing you currently perceive is the warm safe feeling of complete comfort, still half asleep, you haven’t registered what contributes to this feeling, how Joel is embracing you in his sleep. 

Comfortably wrapped in a blanket in a soft bed and feeling the heat of someone’s body against you is a luxury you haven't felt in a long time. The comforting feeling of soft human touch makes you melt into it, and crave it from the very marrow of your bones. You stir slightly, letting out a content sigh as you slowly get pulled out of your sleepy daze, and that is when you realize the position you are in.    

Your back is pressed up against Joel’s chest and his strong arm is wrapped around your waist. Your legs are entangled under the covers and his steady warm breath fans over the back of your neck. The two of you must have instinctively reached for each other in your sleep, the presence of a warm comforting body too irresistible, nuzzling you against himself in his sleep.

Your heart skips a beat at the gentle touch, feeling like you are going to cry from the overload of human touch. There is no way you’re gonna be able to part from his embrace without waking him, but maybe you should? Even though you really don’t want to. You feel slightly guilty as you lie and listen to his steady heartbeat

You want to be selfish for a little longer, savoring the warm comfort of Joel’s presence beside you, enjoying how it makes you feel. It feels too damn good after all the years of loneliness and fear. You can’t deny that you are feeling things for Joel. He is an attractive man, there is no doubt there, but there is more to it. The glimpses you have gotten of who he is behind the gruff facade, the man he must once have been, has made you yearn to get to know more of that side of him. The way he always makes sure you and Ellie are feeling safe. The way he over time has softened up a bit. How he sometimes will go along with Ellie’s shenanigans. How he will tell you that he will take the first night shift, but then never wake you so you get to sleep the whole night. You have scolded him for this numerous times, but he still does it whenever he senses that you are just a little more tired than usual. 

You try to ease out of his embrace without waking him, but it only results in him hugging you tighter, pressing you closer towards him as he lets out a dissatisfied grunt like his subconscious wants you close. And it is now, as you are being pressed tighter up against him that you feel it, the press of his hard cock against the curve of  your ass. You let out a little gasp, as a hot shiver travels from your abdomen down to your now throbbing cunt.

You know that it’s just a physical reaction to have a body this close, he didn’t even want to share the bed with you in the first place, but you had insisted on it. As much as you dread having to face him in this position, you really should wake him.   

“Joel.” You whisper, moving your hand over the arm he has around you, gently brushing your fingers over the warm skin, waiting for him to wake. He stirs a little against your touch, but he does not loosen his grip on you. You hold your breath, feeling your pulse throb in your ears as you wait for a reaction. You just hope this won’t make him go back to being as closed off with you as he was in the beginning. You take a deep breath to brace yourself before you turn around in his grip so the two of you are laying face to face. Your movement seems to finally have pulled him out of his sleep. His eyes start to blink slowly as he is pulled out of his slumber, he murmurs your name, voice rough and raspy from sleep and it makes your heart skip a beat. 

His eyes are finally opening to look into yours, the warm umber of his irises is so beautiful, you have never seen them this near. His face is so close. You can see every detail, every crease and he is so damn gorgeous. Your mouth is so close to his, it would be so easy to just lean in and connect your lips in a kiss. You feel Joel’s body stiffening as he realizes the position the two of you are in, and you are scared that he will bolt out of the bed and leave you cold and alone, but he doesn’t. The two of  you are simply laying in silence for a long moment, looking at each other in the dim room, both of you engulfed by the other, but you finally collect enough composure to break the silence between you.

“Good morning.” You whisper into the quiet bedroom. 

“Morning.” His voice is so deep and still rough from sleep. It makes your stomach do a flip. Maybe it is just wishful thinking but you swear that his eyes swift down to your lips for a second. Maybe it’s just time to be brave? You reach your hand up toward his cheek, letting your palm hover about half an inch from his skin. You want him to decide for himself if he is comfortable with your touch. Fortunately, after only a short moment of hesitation, he leans into your hand, exhaling as your palm cups his cheek. You kind of expect him to pull away any minute, but he doesn’t. 

“I haven’t slept this well in a long time.” You confess.  

“Me neither.” You have never heard his voice this soft before and that is when it dawns on you. This is Joel Miller. Not the man that has had to survive in a world with no hope, or the man that has lost everything that made him whole. Right now you are looking into the eyes of the man he once must have been. And maybe right now you’re the woman you were meant to be, the woman you would have been if your future hadn’t been torn away from you by the collapse of the world. There is something magnetic about it. Like the two of you are being pulled together by an invisible force, drawn together in the early morning bliss, both of you learning into earth other. Your lips brush, a ghost of a touch. He shivers but he is  still not pulling away. 

“Can I?” He whispers, his soft breath fanning over your lips. 

“Please.” You manage to croak out, your entire body buzzing with anticipation.  

It is all he needs to hear before he crashes into you, his chapped lips colliding with yours. It has been too long since you have felt the firm pressure of a man’s mouth on yours. You kiss until your lungs start to burn, and you have to pull away to catch your breath. His hand moves down to the hem of your shirt, his fingers ghosting over the warm skin beneath it.    

“Is this okay?” He asks, sounding a little unsure. 

“Yes, Joel.” You assure him. “Kiss me.” You add and he does, sliding his hand under the cotton of your shirt palming the soft skin of your side. You moan into his mouth as his tongue meets yours. You kiss until you no longer know where he starts and you end and you are almost convinced that the two of you have melded into one being.  

“You’re driving me crazy.” He pants out as he finally breaks the kiss. All you can manage is to whimper in response as he moves his lips to your throat, licking and kissing a trail to the side of your neck. His hand slowly slides down from your side to the hem of your pants. 

“Do you want me to stop?” He murmurs into the skin just below your ear, before sitting up just slightly to look into your eyes. 

“No.” You shake your head slightly. “Please don’t stop, Joel.” 

You roll your hips a little, grinding against his strong thigh, needing him to understand how badly you want this. Something flickers in his eyes and he lets out a filthy guttural groan, flipping you over so you're laying under him.    

Your entire body is aflame by his touch, a feral urge for more. More skin, more contact. So you move onto his shirt. The material slightly withered and moth-eaten from the years of being tucked away in a drawer. You pull it off him, revealing his broad upper body. You pause, captivated by the look of him hovering over you. The scars across his skin, the sparse hairs trailing down from his navel to his pants.    

You wonder if he shaking because he’s cold or if he’s really just that eager for your touch. But it doesn’t really matter, either way, you’ll warm him up.

He slides his calloused fingers over the sensitive skin of your thighs, hooking them in the waistband of your panties, looking into your eyes. You nod at him, mouthing a ‘please’, spreading your legs a bit further. It is all he needs, an expression of filthy desire flickers over his face as he pulls your underwear down. Letting out a gasp as your soaked pussy gets exposed in front of him. His fingers slide along the insides of your wet lips. 

“Shit, you’re so wet. All this just for me?” He almost coo.

“Yeah. All for you, Joel.” 

“Wanna feel you come on my fingers.”   

“Fuck, want that too.” You whimper.                

He gives you a smile, dipping his head down to your shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the crook of your neck before kissing the soft skin under your ear. He makes sure to coat his fingers in your wetness before he begins to tease your clit. You let out a little gasp as he starts to draw slow light circles, but it doesn’t take long for him to pick up his pace and add a bit of pressure.

He teases your entrance, making sure to coat his fingers in your slickless before he slips one of his thick fingers into you. Another is soon added and you sigh at the sensation. He slowly pumps into you at first, giving you time to adjust to his digits, but he is soon picking up the pace.  

“That’s right darling.” He mutters against your neck. “Taking my fingers so well.”

He is going fast now, using his middle and index finger to fuck you while the ruff pad of his thumb is pressing on your clit and you can’t help but let out a few pathetic whines. He is hitting a perfect spot, so deep inside of you, and you feel your orgasm approaching, finally falling over the edge when he curls his fingers. 

“That’s right, just like that.” Joel groans as you clench around his fingers, slowing his pace slightly but still  pumping you through your orgasm in a steady rhythm. “Just like that, darling, doing so well.”

He lets you ride out your climax on his fingers until he finally pulls out of you, popping them into his mouth, sucking off your juices with a pleasant moan.    

“Fuck, Joel.” You pant out as you finally come down from your amazing high. 

“Good?” He asks, a sly smile on his lips. 

“Really good.” You ensure him, cupping his cheek with a gentle hand. “Want to make you feel good too.” You whisper, looking deeply into his eyes.

“Fuck, darling. I want to feel you so bad.” He confesses.  

“Want that too. Fuck, want that so bad” You pant, letting your thumb slide over his cheek as you admire his handsome face. And you do want him, but more than that, you need him.

He lifts himself from you to strip off his pants and underwear. Your eyes widen at the view of him. His hard cock springs free, throbbing and thick, laying heavy in his palm as he takes himself in his hand. It still looks huge, even in his big hand, so you can’t even imagine how enormous it will look in your smaller one. He pumps himself a few times before leaning down over you again. He guides his cock to your entrance, looking at you for permission, which you give with an eager nod, before slowly pushing inside you, stretching your pussy to its limits the deeper he goes. You feel so full, like he is splitting you open with his thick girth. You whimper as you take more and more of his cock until he is all the way in. 

“Fuck darling, you’re so warm, so fucking tight around me.” He groans before leaving a firm kiss on your lips. The two of you are laying like this for a little while, letting you adjust to his size until you can’t take it anymore. 

“Move.” Your voice is low and rasped. “Please.”   

With that, he lifts your legs, making you cross them around his lower torso as he pulls out of you, achingly slow until only the head of his cock is still inside of you before inserting all of it again in one fluid motion. You let out a gasp of pleasure. 

He starts out with a slow rhythmical pace. He is giving you sweet praise at first, then progressively dirtier, more lustful comments as he loses himself more and more, his thrusts getting faster and more desperate. He lets out a throaty groan as your hands grab his hair. The way he is now pounding his cock into you, deep and purposefully, makes you cry out in pleasure, your ears filling with his growls and moans. 

“Feeling so so good…” He says his eyes clenched tightly shut as he keeps thrusting into you with a savage speed. “I knew you would feel good, but damn.” He groans through gritted teeth. Joel is now moving with an urgency that has you seeing stars and you let out a cry of pleasure. 

“Shhh.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips to quiet you.  Ellie is, unlike you and Joel, a deep sleeper, but you would both be mortified if she heard the two of you, not wanting to traumatize the poor girl. 

“You are taking me so well.” He encourages. “So fucking good.” 

Your arms are desperately clinging to his back. His balls are hitting your skin and his cock is pounding into your soaked pussy, making a filthy squelching noise hit your ears. 

The pressure is beginning to build up in your lower stomach, the feeling is making your head go dizzy. He is bringing you closer and closer with every strong thrust of his cock.

“I-fuck… I'm close.” You babble. 

The knot in your stomach tightens and tightens until it all explodes inside you. Your walls clench down around him, sucking him in. You desperately cling to him as your climax washes over you, hands on his neck as you guide his mouth down to yours, you need him to kiss you through this. Your breasts are being squeezed against his chest, the feeling of his skin against your sensitive nipples makes you moan into his mouth.  

You whine out as you feel the warmth of his release filling you up. 

“Shit, shit, shit.” He detaches from your mouth. The panic from cumming inside you is clear on his face. He pulls out, some of his load landing on your stomach, but most of it still inside of you, the sudden empty feeling makes you let out a little whine. 

“Shit, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have—” 

You know that he is right, he really shouldn’t have done it, but you can’t get mad at him you had been just as caught up in the feeling of him as he had been in you. You finished your cycle only a couple of days ago so you should hopefully be okay. 

You cup his cheek, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “I think we should be okay, just don’t make a habit of it.” You grin at him. 

He visibly relaxes at your words “I’ll make sure to pull out next time.” He assures you and your stomach flutters. Next time. You smile at his words.   

“How do you feel?” He asks. 

“Good.” You laugh lightly, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I liked seeing this side of you.”

He sighs as he pulls you close. His chest vibrates against you as he speaks. “You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?” 

[youraverageaemondsimp]

DÉPAYSEMENT // ix.

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

warnings: 18+ mdni, blowjob, oral m receiving, cum play, cum eating, fluff. + not proofread.

A/N: this chapter is short but this is basically the calm before the storm before shit will finally hits the fan!!

<- prev // next ->

masterlist.

“I'll marry you on one condition.” you say laying next to him and he uses his elbow to prop himself up, “what condition?” he asks, caressing your face, “do not take in a lover, please.” your voice croaks at the please.

Aemond chuckles, “Why would I do that? I love you–”

“Alys rivers.” you cut him off, her name rolling off your tongue bitterly.

Frankly you shouldn't be jealous, cause Aemond was always supposed to end up with her, she was his lover in the history books, one that bore him a son, she was a witch, and you remember looking up to her as a woman in history who was a complete badass. Which was rare.

But now? You feel jealous, because you love Aemond, and the possibility that the same fate might repeat is setting you on the edge, you know you can't stop it if it's what the gods desire. You cannot go against divine power, so you can at least try to talk about it with Aemond.

“Who?” he asks, genuinely confused as his head tilts.

Right, he doesn't know who she is.

“Your lover.” you say and he raises an eye brow, “Alys rivers? a rivers. Which means she is a bastard, why would I take in a bastard as my lover?” he asks and you shrug.

“You took her as your bedmate and a spoil of war in the history books, some sources believe you loved her, she gave birth to your son.” you try to explain without shaking, the thought of him being with her making you sick.

He seems even more confused.

“You see- back then, you took more than half the men to reclaim harrenhal from the blacks, however that caused the fall of King's Landing, in the hands of Rhaenyra and Daemon, the gold cloaks still listen to Daemon Targaryen since he is their commander, there are many spies in the city as well, though there are no names mentioned.” you dump it all at once and he clenched his fists in anger and you noticed.

“With the same anger and fury, you killed off house strong, taking out your rage on them, but spared her, alys rivers, for she was a witch and was rumoured to have bewitched you, if I remember correctly.” you finish.

“Alys rivers.” he says in thought, and you wince at the way her name rolls off his tongue so delicately and making you feel heartbroken for an odd reason.

“I shall do no such thing.” he says and you look at him, “Are you not planning on marching to harrenhal?” you ask and he shakes his head, “I do, but we need to take care of the spies in the city first, do not let them suspect anything.” he whispers and places a small kiss on your forehead.

He pulled you close and you felt his hard cock against your thigh, you smirked at it before your hands trailed down his abdomen, tracing his abs before you gripped his cock gently and he gasped, looking down.

You slowly pumped up and down, thumb rubbing against his silt causing him to groan sensitively, you pushed him on his back before getting in between his legs, about to take him in your mouth when you felt him pull you away by your hair with a furrowed brow.

“Why are you doing?” he questions, “I want to taste you.” you reply, “You shall do no such thing, you are not a whore, only whores do such things” he says so seriously that it makes you chuckle, “Giving head to the person you love isn't whoring, and it's quite common for couples to engage in such sexual acts to show love for one another.” you reply back, and he let goes of your hair.

“But it is not proper for a lady—”

“I want to taste you, my dragon.” you say sternly, you watch as he gulps, before he slowly nods and you shoot him a smile before descending your lips onto his cock, mouth wrapped around it tightly, before you start moving your head up and down, he was too much to fit in your mouth but you tried to take all of him anyway, and then you gagged when you him hit the back of your throat.

You pulled away and placed kisses at his tip, giving it kitten licks, lips moving down side to his stones to give them a kiss as well before you sucked on them slightly, which made Aemond grip your hair, moaning.

You kissed up his length again, and then took him in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked him off, hands playing with his balls, giving them a tight squeeze from time to time, Aemond was controlling himself extremely hard, trying not to fuck your mouth into oblivion, letting you do this at your own pace, and soon he felt warm erupting in abdomen, a fire licking at him before he spilled himself.

You pulled away the moment he came, continuing to pump him with your hand, you watched as his spend spurted out, leaking down his cock and pooling on to his stomach, you bent down and tasted it, and moaned at the taste before you licked him clean, swallowing all his remnants.

“F-fuck that was so good.” he breathes heavily, as he processes his orgasm, he pulls you up and kisses you again, before he presses you flush against him and cuddling you to sleep.

He had not forgotten what you said, dealing with the city spies in one of the main things he has to do now, knowing the threat that Daemon and Rhaenyra can pretty much invade the city and ruin it is enough to set him a paranoia high, and so he orders commands, to take note of any odd behavior exhibited by anyone, he dismissed almost all the city watch guards, sending them away before appointing new ones, the ones he trusted.

It took him well over two weeks to do this, remove and reappoint based on suspicion, and it seemed to have worked perfectly, considering how the intel the blacks were receiving has been significantly weakened, and Aemond went as far as to make up fake intel, give them fake leads, which wasted their time.

The entire two weeks passed by quickly and there was another problem at hand.

How in the seven hells was he supposed to announce your betrothal, he had realised that you are from no notable family at all, and your last name was extremely foreign.

He gathered the small council, and had invited you, you had noticed the confused looks the other members had given you, and some even looked at you in disgust, you simply put your head down, that was until alicent walked in, she gave you a warm smile and you smiled back.

“I intend on marrying Lady Y/N.” Aemond announces, earning gasps from everyone.

“But my prince- she is from no notable house and on top of your whor-” before one can protest, he shot them a glare which shut them up.

“Is that what you truly want, son?” Alicent asks, she was against this idea as well, but seeing her son like this, was so rare, he looked so happy with you.

In protecting her kids, Alicent had completely forgotten about their happiness or needs, she just wanted them to survive, they used to be bright when they were younger, the childhood innocence which wasn't tainted by the world, until they had to be involved in this game for the throne.

She had never seen any of them the same again.

Until you, Aemond was happy with you.

She cannot rob her son of happiness again.

“Yes, mother.” he says and she nods, “I understand, I approve.” she gives him a smile and he was visibly shocked at that, but he regained his composure, nodding.

Everyone gasped at the Dowager Queen's decision, but kept silent nonetheless, they knew they cannot say anything now that the decision has been made.

So you stood there, happy and elevated, trying to contain yourself, you felt lightheaded, happy, joyous, you felt like jumping around but you remained calm.

It felt like receiving a good score on your test again.

Weird comparison but it checks out.

And soon, the meeting turned to discuss other matters of the realm before everyone was dismissed, they all left, bowing to Aemond.

And then you were left alone with him.

You immediately faced him and jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug, his hands held your waist to keep your balance and you hugged him so tight to the point it was suffocating, you heard him struggle to breathe and you pulled away quickly, sheepishly looking down.

“Sorry- I didn't mean to choke you.” you apologize shyly, and he smirks before he pulls you into a hug as well.

And then he presses a kiss to your forehead.

You both go to his chambers that night, and cuddle each other to sleep, you go to sleep basking in the comfort of his warmth, hoping things will be like this forever.

———

TAGLIST ;

@sassysaxsolo @jaime-in-flannel @namelesslosers @itsabby15 @snh96 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonlightazriel @beado05 @ajourneytobeweightless @hannaeditzs @joyouart @nitimurinvetitumsposts @hufflepuff1700 @loserwithnofriends @noemienakamoto @smolnuggie911 @happinessinthebeing @teamstorybooks @drewstarkeyluver @nealeart @aelora-a @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @wxb-slingrr @lyn07 @anehkael @t0uch-starved-h0e @sleepy-time-dreamy @minthermie @diiickbrainn @backyardfolklore @dixieelocin @queenofshinigamis @blogg-100 @clairacassidy @lexwolfhale @persephonerinyes @nockerin @watercolorskyy @azaleapotterblack @heavenly1927 @americanprometheuss @cl-0-vr @alexa4040 @goldyfishsstuff

DM TO BE REMOVED! BOLD IS WHO I CANNOT TAG

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Always Be My Baby

Travis was recovering from his knee injury and was spending a lot of time resting at home, meaning he was at the mercy of his daughters who wanted nothing more than to play with their dad all day. Today they were playing Doctor, and Travis was their patient.

Savannah and Laylah were dressed up in their little white coats, their own doctor's bags in hand. The pulled out some colorful band-aids and a plastic syringe you had given them to play with.

"Where are you hurting, Mr. Travis?" Savannah held the plastic stethoscope to her dad's stomach as he laid out on the couch, one arm propped under his head.

He moved the stethoscope to his chest, chuckling. "Mr. Travis? My name is Daddy, and I hurt my knee." He pointed to his left leg.

She scrunched her face, beginning to pout. "No, daddy! Your doctor wouldn't call you daddy." She crossed her arms over her chest, pushing out her bottom lip.

"But you're not my doctor, you're my baby girl." She shook her head, dabbing a cotton ball on her arm. "I'm not a baby, daddy. I'm a big girl." Travis smiled but he couldn't help but feel a little hurt at her words.

They took his temperature, pinched his skin with tweezers, and checked his reflexes with his good knee.

"Now, Lay Lay is going to take your blood pessure." Travis nodded, holding his arm out. Laylah tried to wrap it around his large bicep, but it would even make it around a third of the way. "It doesn't fit." Laylah whispered to Savannah, making Travis laugh.

"Its okay Lay Lay, I know what's wrong with him! Daddy, you have a broken heart." She patted his chest, blissfully unaware that she wasn't far off base.

"No Nannah, he hurt his knee." Laylah rolled her eyes as she pulled a band-aid out of her pocket.

You walked into the playroom as the girls were placing band-aids all over Travis' face and arms.

"So what's the prognosis, Drs?" You put your hands on your hips, trying to stifle a laugh at the sight of your husband. Laylah ran over to you, jumping into your arms as you placed her on your hip. "Mama, what does prononsis mean?" she whispered into your ear.

"What's hurting." You whispered back, placing her back on the ground.

"He has a broken knee and a broken heart!" Savannah jumped up and down.

"Wow, it sounds serious, daddy. Is he going to make a full recovery?" You winked at Travis.

"Yes, he should feel better by tomorrow." Both girls grinned from ear to ear, satisfied with a job well done.

"Alright, its time for a nap, Drs. Let's go." They both ran over to Travis, giving him a quick kiss before they ran off to their room. You sat down on the edge of the couch next to him, gently trying to remove the bandages from his skin. He sucked in his teeth as you pulled at his arm hair.

"A broken heart, huh?" You giggled, Travis pulling you down to lay down next to him. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "How did that happen?", you asked, stroking his arm.

"Savannah said she wasn't my baby girl anymore." Travis pretended to pout, making you laugh. "Oh boy. How do you feel daddy?"

"Let's just say, her diagnosis is pretty accurate. We should start saving money for medical school."

****

Later that evening Travis was laying in bed, scrolling through his phone when the girls ran into the room, jumping onto the mattress. They were already in their pajamas ready for bed.

"Daddy, can we watch TV before bed?" Laylah asked, sitting in his lap. "Yes, you can watch one show. Do you wanna watch Doc McStuffins?"

While Laylah was excited, Savannah's mouth quickly turned into a frown. "No, that's a baby show. I'm not a baby anymore."

The thought hadn't left Travis' mind all day, his heart dropping when he realized that his little girl was truly growing up before his eyes.

"Even though your a big girl, can you still be my baby?" She tilted her head, not completely understanding. "I'm a big girl, not a baby."

"I know, but will you still be my baby and love me?"

"Of course! I'll always love you, daddy!" She answered, as if he had asked the silliest question in the world. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder.

"What about me?" Laylah whined, tears brimming in her lashes. "I want to be your baby."

"Oh, c'mere. Of course you're my baby, too." He pulled her into his lap, kissing her on the cheek.

"Good", Laylah immediately perked up. "I want to be an actual baby for a while too. Be a doctor is too hard."

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

nsfw idea😙 tangerine sees reader in the bath using the shower head……

dude ive had this idea and wanted to write this for so long !! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌 as im about to post this, JUST saw there’s a tangerine in front of the candle on the left ??!? how fitting

HELPING HAND

tangerine x female reader

word count. 819

warnings. 18+ only!! shower head as stimulation, tan helps bc he’s so bf, light choking (just throat holding) he can’t help himself and finishes in his boxers🫠 mdni

You were in the bath, one leg hooked over the top of the tub, the other bent at the knee, hand in between gripping onto the shower head - directing the water at that sensitive, little, sweet spot.

You've been at it for a little while now, growing more and more frustrated at the constant growing and disappearance of your orgasm. Your forearm was beginning to ache, and your knee started to seize up - like everything in your body was telling you to stop, but you were finally starting to feel something - it was starting to feel good again. That was all until your hand moved so so slightly, knocking the water flow away from your needy clit. 

There's a faint knock at the bathroom door, Tangerine on the other side growing concerned at your unusually long shower.

"Darlin'? Ya'right?"

You clear your throat, propping yourself up slightly. "Yeah," you reply, though it doesn't sound as you planned - it comes out more whiney, frustrated.

"Don't sound it," he dismisses, tapping at the handle. "Can I come in? Need'ta get my deodorant."

You hesitate, looking down at yourself - laying in an empty bath, shower head hitting between your thighs. It wasn't hard to figure out what you were doing. 

"Nothin' I ain't seen before," he says, his words trailing to a halt when he sees the lewd image of you in front of him. "Fuck."

Immediately, you grow embarrassed - almost ashamed at the vulnerable and compromising he caught you in. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. Instead, you just duck lower into the tub, like you were hiding - trying to shield yourself from his intense gaze.

He makes his way closer, stilling once your whole frame is in view again.

"Don't stop on my account," he murmurs, his voice losing its usual tone of conviction - growing hoarse at the sight of you. "Keep goin', love."

You meet his eye line, watching how quickly they flicker over you, like they were overwhelmed by the view - raking over your wet, quivering body. You hold his gaze as he lowers to the floor, kneeling beside you in the tub. 

He extends an arm towards you, hand reaching for your face. He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip, swiping over the flesh - focusing on you with half-lidded eyes. "Want me to help?"

You eagerly nod your head, immediately agreeing. You were far too frustrated to turn down his offer, so you submit, passing him the showerhead. 

He situates himself on the side of the tub facing you, one hand lightly holding the base of your throat, the other between your thighs, angling the water at your clit.

You instantly cry out at the contact, already feeling more than you have for the last thirty minutes. It felt so much better with Tan's help, his grounding palm on your damp skin, and his other continuing to hit the water at that little, swollen nub ever so perfectly. 

Your eyes screwed shut, but he remained focused on you - eyes drifting to your heaving chest, over to your hand clutching at the side of the tub, back down to your thighs where they started to shudder; everything was just so erotic, unlike anything he had ever seen before. 

"It's right there, right there— please don't move. I feel it again. There— god," you mindlessly mutter, cutting yourself off with a staggered breath.

"I won't, darlin'," he whispers, sharply inhaling when he feels the impossible strain in his boxers - his cock begging to be touched. "I won't."

You focus on the airy feeling in your lower tummy, concentrating on that fuzzy sensation spread further as you approach your ever-lasting buildup. 

You cry out, harshly moaning as you reach your intense high - chest heaving, stomach jittering, thighs clamping together as you attempt to rid his hand. 

"Jus'a bit more," he murmurs. "That's it."

You're a jolting, spasming mess, mewling out against the almost overstimulating feeling, swatting his hand away. "No more, no more," you breathe out, slumping into the tub in a state of near-exhaustion. "I— fuck."

He softly groans, feeling the head of his cock twitch against the fabric, twinging as he coats the inside of his boxers in a layer of warm cum. 

Only this time, it was you watching him - gawking at the way he came untouched, purely by the sight of you.

"Did—" you start, eyes wide as you peer up at him. "That was the hottest thing I have ever seen."

He exhales, cheeks faintly flush as he stands. "Couldn't help it," he breathes, raking through his curls. He picks up his deodorant from the side and turns to face you, a soft smile spreading as he reaches for the door handle. "You're the only girl that's made me jizz my pants like that."

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

no taglist as don't want to spam

[cream-stew]

okay but imagine Diluc coming home in the early hours of morning after his nightly endeavors, all tired and horny because he's been so so busy lately you two haven't had sex for a while, finding you sleeping peacefully in bed, bangs messily resting on your forehead while the rest of your long, beautiful hair is laid out on the soft pillows beneath your head. you look so gorgeous, he just can't help himself! he sits down next to you and pulls his cock out, beginning to stroke himself while staring at your sleeping figure. however you wake up both because of the light coming in through the window and his moans and grunts :( you enjoy the sight though, and offer to help<33 I'd like there to be a bit of hair pulling and choking, can be implicit/mild if you're uncomfortable with it and I'll leave the rest up to you :]

btw can i be 🎧 anon?

🔞 minors dni

warnings: afab reader, sleepy sex, choking, creampie, hair pulling

// note: here you go anon <3 <3

you open your eyes slowly, finding the low sunlight seeping in and illuminating only your side of the bed. you hear a muffled moan, and you rub your eyes with both hands, trying to will the sleep away, and in the shade you notice him half laying next to you, propped up on one elbow while his other hand strokes his hard cock, already leaking precum.

" 'm sorry for waking you", he murmurs, still not stopping his movements, and you smile up at him.

"don't be", you reach for the hem of your nightgown, pulling it up to reveal your lace panties and letting it bunch over your ribs, "come here?"

you don't have to ask him twice! he fits in between your thighs immediately, taking some time to finger you and get you wet for him, before slipping his cock inside with just the slightest difficulty. your pussy gradually gets wetter and looser for him, and by the time he's fully sheathed in you he can move as he pleases.

he starts fucking you at the same desperate pace he'd been jerking off before, and you're still so sleepy that your eyes fall closed despite how good you feel.

a hand rests over your throat, and you gasp when you feel him choking you so gently, at first, then squeezing more and more as you open your eyes again.

"you have to look at me", he orders you with a pleased grin, and only lets go of your neck long enough to let you nod at him.

he's so worked up already and it doesn't take him much longer to cum, pumping his load deep inside your pussy, but he's still not satisfied… he's way too riled up :(

he helps you roll on your stomach, rising on your hands and knees, and he takes a good grip of your long hair, immediately resuming his punishing pace as he forces you to arch your back for him.

you moan his name over and over as he fucks you so well, your scalp tingling with his harsh grip, and you cum on his cock so so easily, clenching down on him and dragging him to a second orgasm, adding to the mess inside your well used pussy <3

[jimipoo]

if you were a part of nature, you would be the sea.

word count: 780

genre: fluff

ac: hai it's been awhile :D here's a little something!

"If you were a part of nature, you would be the sea," you break the silence, causing Jimin to turn his head towards you, a strand of his hair falling softly over his lashes as he tilts his head.

Jimin doesn't respond for a minute, letting your statement hang in the air and you feel yourself getting a tiny bit nervous by the way he responded to what you said. Instead, he uses his minute to adjust the laying position he's currently in, propping his elbows underneath as the rough sand digs into his skin but he pays no attention to it. He finally opens his mouth to respond.

"How so?" he asks, eyes flitting back towards your face yet again. You weren't looking at him—just quietly fiddling at the hem of your dress.

"It just seems like it's always been a part of you," you simply state, you choose to set your eyes toward the view in front of both of you. Noticing the way the sun now glows a deep shade of orange, it paints the sky a lighter mix of orange and yellow and even hints of pink that melts within the clouds. You can't deny that it's a beautiful view, taking it all in, your looping thoughts about him fades for a bit, it was only a few seconds until his voice pulls you out of your trance.

You suddenly became aware of the fact that he's next to you, but you don't notice the way his eyes are still fixated on your face, occasionally traveling down to your crossed legs as your fingers lightly tug the threads on the hem of your dress, he fights the urge to grab your hand and intertwine his fingers around yours.

"It's where I grew up," he starts, finally breaking his stare to set his eyes towards the sea.

"This may sound cliché, but it's the first place I would go to whenever the world feels a little too loud for me," he pauses, "Our house lived two streets away from the sea, I would just sit on the tiny cliff and listen to the waves."

"It's also the first place I'd go to in every country I've ever visited," he finishes. There's something about how every beach he's gone to has their own unique look to it, some people may not get it and just say a beach is a beach or a sea is a sea, but he swears that he's felt differently about each and every one of them. Some may look bluer than the other, the sand may feel more soft to the touch or it scratches right into his skin as soon as he sets foot in it, or the water is more salty, has a higher tide, a lower tide, the waves look and sound aggressive or it can only stretch as far as the tip of his toes.

Yet no matter how many beaches Jimin has visited, and how much he can observe and take notes from them, nothing compares to the sea that only lives 20 houses away from his childhood home. The sea that understood him, hugged him, listened to him, spent every silence with him.

That until he meets his eyes with yours, he realizes that his sea is not the only thing his heart soars for.

"The irony of it is, I don't know how to swim nor have I ever tried to go further than knee level." he states, cheeks rising up.

You try your best to hold in your giggle, but the image of you having to carry him in a 5-feet deep pool have made you burst into fit of giggles, you hear him giggle along with you.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Do you wanna know the real reason why the sea makes me think of you? You think to yourself.

You make me feel full. You sigh, taking in his beauty. Jimin, whose cheeks have faded into a noticeable shade of pink as he smiles at you. The long strands of his brown hair falling completely above his eyes, you think to yourself—has he thought about getting a haircut soon? Jimin, who you've known for many summers and still never fails to make your heart beat rapidly each time you let him talk about his first love. Jimin, who you've been sitting peacefully next to as he gently hooks his fingers through your sand-covered hair, taking three strands and lazily braiding them.

Jimin, whom you were sure that he has completely taken over you the way the ocean takes up 71% of the world.

If you were a part of nature, you would be the land.

[tettatonin]

HEAVEN AND BACK (REUPLOAD) ︰ miyuki , eijun , furuya , haruichi

⠀⠀⠀⠀— their kinks and favorite things ♡

cws: 18+ NSFW MDNI. fem!reader. unprotected sex. MIYUKI: edging, implied overstimulation. EIJUN: blowjob, throat/face fucking, praise. FURUYA: fingering, toru being ambidextrous, slight size kink. HARUICHI: sub!haruichi, oral (f receiving), handjob, vibrator.

notes: just an old post i wanted to fix up while also finally and officially putting daiya on my blog <33 totally not bc im in another writing slump

MIYUKI KAZUYA

+ EDGING. OVERSTIMULATION. miyuki can give you everything you want and take it away from you as he pleases. the power trip of having you at his fingertips just really gets to him. he wants you to enjoy yourself, sure, but not without him getting a piece and absolutely ruining it for his own self pleasure.

miyuki doesn't have to tell you that he gets off watching you struggle, it's simple enough to understand just being with him. even when he won't admit such a thing to your face, expressing it in ways that would make you keen for him to get to the end of his foreplay. he'd be a liar if he said he didn't enjoy doing it to himself either, kissing your neck to keep his thoughts straight.

he moved his hips slowly, seething through his teeth at the tight, closing feeling of being seconds away from orgasm for the fifth time tonight. you were in the same boat with your bottom lip swollen from being bitten down on, pussy throbbing for release.

"had enough?" miyuki asks you with a slight grin, lifting his face out of the crook of your neck. "y'know i wanna fuck you just as much as you do, you just cum so easy on my cock."

you try and hold back a laugh but it slips, your boyfriend's expression dropping a bit. "sorry." you cover your mouth.

"oh, so its like that, huh?" he raises his eyebrows, sitting back up and holding you by the underside of your knees, locking your legs to your chest. "you want it like that?"

miyuki pounds into you hard, the bed creaking under the weight. though his pace wasn't bruising, still keeping that silent oath of edging himself and you, but he was hitting your sweet spot with every snap of his hips. and when your eyes screw shut and your mouth parts in a silent scream, he knows he's won.

"wait! kazu— ya," your words broke by the syllables with his thrusts. "fu— ck! please, don't stop!"

like hell i would, he thinks while adjusting his pace, switching to a quick and steady rhythm that has your eyelids fluttering shut.

you've been edged for far too long, your climax building up fast as miyuki bullied your sweet spot. his stomach tightened at your face that twisted in pleasure, cock throbbing inside you as the height of his climax matched yours before he rides out his high, or so you thought.

"aww, don't tap out yet, princess." he coos, the rhythm of his hips picking back up again. "you said 'don't stop', right?"

SAWAMURA EIJUN

+ BLOWJOBS. PRAISE. as much as eijun likes to take care of you, he loves being pampered. something about you sucking him off after a long week of training just sends him into a state he wouldn't trade for the world. you're so good to him with your body that he'd still reward you with praises that would make your stomach tighten.

eijun leaned back into the headboard, relaxing his body to enjoy the moment to its full extent. you were propped up on your elbows, laying on your stomach between his legs with your mouth sucking on half his length while your hand pumps at what can't fit.

your lips wrapped around the tip, teasing him a bit while his cheeks flushed a shade of pink. he swallowed a moan as you took in more of him, his hand instinctively covering his mouth.

you look up at his flushed expression with a smile, a satisfied hum vibrating around his dick just before you pull off with a pop.

"something wrong, eijun?" you ask, looking up at him with doe eyes as you stroke him, making sure to tightly part your middle and index finger at the tip.

he lets out a shaky breath, his reply caught in his throat and all that comes out is a strained noise.

"hm?" you lick up a pearl of precum off the tip, sucking on it gently while waiting for a reply.

he shakes his head. 

"n-no, 's nothing you just— fuck, you feel so good." he barely gets to finish his sentence when you take him all the way to the base without warning. "mouth's so good for me." he sighs.

with your lips tight around his girth and your hand massaging his balls, his own shameful whines cut him off every time he tried to speak. not to mention the occasional jerk of his hips that had you grasping firmly at his thighs from the tip hitting the back of your throat.

"deeper, please, baby." he pleads, tucking a bit of hair behind your ear to sugarcoat the request. "want more."

obediently, you took him all the way for the last time, stilling your motion when the tip touches your throat. eijun's lips were parted slightly, the bottom one red and a little swollen from being bitten down on as you looked up at him.

the taste of his precum made your throat itch but still you bob your head gently, a string of moans falling from his lips the more you moved.

"yes, yes! fuck— just like that." he said, hands reaching to grab the sides of your face, his fingers lacing through your hair. "more.. need more, please, you're doing so good."

eijun times the controlled bob of your head with the raise of his hips, your nails digging into the skin of his thighs with the continuous touch of his tip to your throat.

"fuck, hah, you're gonna make me cum." he pants, already on the edge of release.

your eyes started to sting with tears from the lack of air and drool started to dribble down your chin. you look up at him desperately but he returns it with a look that said 'just a little more'.

and with a stuttered moan, he blows his load down your throat. your nose touches the skin above his cock while you swallow everything he gives you, the contraction of your throat making him sob just before you pull off with a gasp for air.

FURUYA SATORU

+ FINGERING. WHEN YOU SAY HIS NAME. furuya's size often slips his mind, forgetting that he's much bigger than you and that his fingers alone he could press up to that sweet spot in you with ease and that two were enough to make you feel so full. still, he still pushes for that warmth your cunt envelops him in along with the chant of his name as you get closer and closer to release.

furuya's lips rest on the skin of your neck as you lay on your back. he was propped up beside you with two fingers slowly thrusting into you, digits parted slightly to stretch you out. with his other hand he brushes a bit of hair from your face, watching with low lidded eyes.

"you okay?" he asks in a low whisper, littering a few kisses along your jaw.

you nod at the query, an assuring hum turning into a pleasured sigh when he hits a sensitive spot.

he pulls his fingers out of you, stomach tightening at how wet you've gotten with just his fingers.

"just a little more." he whispers, continuing to kiss gently along your jaw.

"satoru, i think its enough." you told him, gripping at his wrist.

he shook his head before his lips met yours, moving to kiss you deeper. his tongue pushed into your mouth, a moan coming out of him when you sucked on it. it has you melting, grip loosening as he slides his fingers between your folds, using his sense of touch to feel how much more slick he can gather before pushing them back in.

"not yet," he says breathlessly, a thin string of saliva connecting his lip to yours for a moment before he breaks away to shift in his position again. "not done with you yet."

he gets up from his place beside you, taking off his boxers and sitting between your legs instead.

he lets out a sigh when the cool air touches the tip, precum coating the head from the minutes he'd spent fingering you, listening and feeling how your body reacted to him. and god was he hard, so painfully hard from not being able to touch himself while doing so.

"wait—" you gasp, slender digits entering and pressing right up against your sweet spot again.

furuya gave his focus to your cunt, mesmerized by the glistening sheen and the sounds of you echoing throughout the room. his thought process felt hazy and fucking you had almost slipped his mind as he wrapped his left hand around his cock, already pumping to the bruising pace he was fingering you in.

"f-fuck, shit," he seethes as his eyelids suddenly start to weigh like iron from the pleasure, but he keeps them open for you. low lidded and clouded with lust.

"satoru, please. don't wanna cum yet."

not yet. not yet. he thinks, panting too hard and too engulfed in pleasure to tell you.

he could only feel the warmth of your walls around him, senses overflowing with impatience as he curls his fingers on one hand and tightens his grip with the other, giving special attention to the spot that makes you tighten. and when your walls clench around him one last time, he pulls you in close, hands wet with precum and slick but you could care less as your arms rest above your head.

furuya hovers over you, broad shoulders casting a shadow over your frame from the setting 4 o'clock sun for a moment before he rests on his forearms. the view from another perspective makes it look like he was trapping you under him from how big he was as the tip lines with your entrance, his hips move to push it in and you both gasp at the feeling. he rests his head in the crook of your neck when he builds up a steady rhythm, muffling his breathy moans against your skin but you can hear him so clearly while his hands try to find yours.

"so good," he sighs, his fingers loosely lacing with yours once he finds you. "can you— can you say my name? please?"

the hold he has on your hands anchors him, the curl of your fingers to his keeping him from slipping too far into self indulgence like before.

"satoru... faster." you moan, his pace changing at your command and stuffing you close to the hilt with quick, shallow thrusts. "fuck, you feel so good."

his stomach tightens at the praise. "gonna— gonna cum," he pants, kissing your neck to keep him from moaning too loud. "inside... wanna do it inside."

furuya didn't sound like he was asking, so you wrap your legs around his waist for assurance, heels digging into his lower back to bring him closer when his hips stutter.

he lifts his head out of the space in your neck, face hot and cheeks flushed a light shade of red as he kisses you slow and sloppy in another effort to suppress his moans again. but you can still hear them, you can feel them and how they intensify the closer he gets.

"cumming, cumming— satoru!" you moan when he pulls away.

you clench around him, strings of curses flowing out until his hips still, burying himself to the hilt.

KOMINATO HARUICHI

+ HANDJOBS. ORAL. he just looks so pretty with his glossy eyes and blushing cheeks. whether he's sitting on your lap, whimpering and nodding mindlessly at your words while you toy with his cock in your hand, or between your legs with his lips sucking your clit with fervor, haruichi's at your mercy.

haruichi sits on your lap, his arms wrapped around your neck while your hand strokes up and down his length in a steady motion. he moans against your lips, pleasure having washed over him and cut short many times.

he'd worked hard this week, balancing college studies and baseball training at the same time, so you gave him a remote, the small device clutched in his hand for the vibrator that whirred at a medium setting in you, a little bit of an extra reward. but you have a feeling that he's forgotten all about it, far too distracted by the pleasure you brought him.

his eyelids felt like they weighed a ton but he kept them open, watching your hand twist and pump around him with a sheen of precum and spit coating your skin.

"a lil' more, haru? 's getting dry." you request, slowing your pace.

haruichi opens his mouth, tongue lolling out to let a drop of spit fall onto the tip.

"thank you, baby." you smile, planting kisses from his cheek to his neck. "you feeling okay?"

he nods, swallowing thick to get rid of any potential stutter. "feels good.. so, so good— please, don't stop."

he rolls his hips, an adorable attempt to aid you in helping him reach his high.

"aww, don't worry. 'm never gonna stop." you coo. "gonna make you cum like you deserve, pretty boy. and," with your free hand you reach behind your neck where his hands rest, tapping the one that clutched the vibrator remote. "turn this up a bit, wanna feel good with you too."

his hands fumble with the remote, pushing the switch up a level. the bullet vibrating against your sweet spot earns a moan out of you, the sound had haruichi throbbing in your hand even as your pace faltered for a moment.

he pulls you in closer, opting to kiss you and drink in your moans while you stroked him on your lap.

"so pretty, haru." you comment between kisses. "my pretty boy with the prettiest cock."

his stomach tightens at your words, the praise making his vision hazy.

"want me to go faster?" you press your lips to his cheek. "'you worked so hard this week, so tell me. tell me what you want, 's okay."

it takes him a moment to relax and find the words he wants to tell you. you were already doing him so good and he was already so close, but speeding up the process shouldn't hurt.

"faster— please. i— i wanna cum so bad." he whines. "jus'— wanna cum, please."

you gladly pick up the pace, one hand twisting around his length while the other rubs the tip. haruichi's moans only increased in volume and it got harder and harder to hold back and savor the moment, his high coming up faster than he wanted.

"cumming, cumming!" he whines, desperately pressing his lips to yours as he spills all over your hand.

you take in his moans, tongues pressed together in a sloppy kiss. haruichi comes down from his high while you're about to reach yours, the fact of it evident in your moans and your panting breath when he pulls away, a string of spit connecting his bottom lip to yours.

he trails kisses from the corner of your mouth to your cheek, down your neck and to your chest, then finally stopping at your lower stomach. haruichi looks up at you as his lips latch onto your clit, lapping and sucking on it gently, actions drawing sweet moans out of you.

the remote's still grasped tightly in his hand, his thumb turning up the intensity to its highest before setting it on the floor. his hands hold onto your thighs as they clasp around his head, burying himself deeper into your cunt as you come so close to your release.

you moan out his name, the sound of it making his eyes roll back in pleasure and the his focus on your clit nearly breaks.

you part your thighs, allowing him room to breathe. slick covered him from his cheeks to his chin and pink dusted over his cheeks as he caught his breath, pulling the vibrator out of you by the string to turn it off. he brings his face closer to your pussy again, flattening his tongue to lick up a stripe from your dripping hole to your clit, swallowing the slick pooled on his tongue.

TAGLIST: @dearkamiya saw this first but here it is again 😵😵 ++ @fsh1gvro @21-06-1996 @1990-06-12 (i'm sorry for the tag sumi but i rmbed u rlly like furuya sooo)

[writernopal]

🔮She Doesn't Know How To Rest🌌

I came across this canon piece between Fay and Wilkes from their early days together that needed some love 🥺 They were both quite young and unfamiliar with each other here, but you can see some of their present qualities shine through, and it makes me so proud to see how far they've come! Although, it does make me nostalgic for the days when they were my only darlings 💖

CW: emaciation

“Wilkes. Wilkes, wake up.” 

I opened my eyes, blinking the blurry image of Fay into focus. She was already dressed and had what looked to be the pillow I’d let her borrow in her hands. I propped myself up, squinting at her with a frown.

“Fay…what is it?”

“I wanted to give you your pillow back. Thank you for letting me borrow it.” She said in a whisper. 

“Keep it. It’s alright.” I replied, tongue heavy and uncooperative in my mouth. It couldn’t already be morning, could it? No. My parents were still fast asleep, as was evident by my father’s snoring, and that was to make no mention of the night’s chill hanging in the air all around us. “Why are you awake so early?”

“I’m early to rise.” She said without further elaborating and offered me the pillow again. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to rest more?” I asked, “We have a three-day voyage ahead of us. You’ll need your strength for the journey.”

“Oh. I already packed the cot.”  She responded quietly. 

I tossed a look at where my mother had set up the cot for her, confirming through sleep-laden eyes that what she’d said was true. That wouldn’t do. Especially not after the day she’d had. I reached out and took the pillow from her with a tired groan, then scooted over to make room for her beside me on my own cot. It would be a tight fit at best, but I wouldn’t make her sleep on the floor. I set the pillow down, lifted the furs I was under, and patted the vacated spot tiredly. Her body tensed, and some strange thing flashed in her eyes. Fear, perhaps? 

“I’m not asking you for anything. If you don’t want to be close, I can lay on the ground.” I reassured her, “But you need to rest.”

She tightened her shawl around her shoulders and nodded, carefully approaching and making herself comfortable in the space I had made for her. I placed the furs over her gently and pulled my arm back to let it lay against my side, and folded the other under my head so I wouldn’t touch her even by mistake. Kindling that apparent apprehension from before would certainly make for a kind of torture I had no interest in inflicting. She nestled her head down into my pillow and took a deep breath. With that, I closed my eyes and decided that I would try to get some sleep too. At least, that had been the plan.

She shifted, and that’s when I noticed her quivering. Perhaps she was having second thoughts about accepting my invitation after all. I opened my eyes and nearly leapt out of my own scales. There in the darkness, her two round and piercing golden eyes affixed themselves upon me. They arrested any question I might have for her somewhere deep in my chest in a way I’d never felt before. 

“I’m cold.” She whispered.

Her voice swept over me like a gentle sea swell, lifting the scales along my spine as it returned to its master, tempting me to be even closer. 

“Should I get you another blanket?” I asked, throat suddenly feeling all too parched. 

She shook her head and inched closer. One of her skinny arms looped beneath mine and closed around me in a tired embrace. Such a gesture should not bear so much weight, so then why did I feel like I was being smothered?

“You’re really warm. It feels nice…” She explained, eyes falling shut. 

Her words slurred just the tiniest bit, making that rasp of hers just that much softer. Lower. Not sweet, but enticing all the same. I— I wanted to hear it again.

“Would you like me to hold you?” I asked, hoping my question and her response might both be loud enough to disguise the furious thumping of my heart.

“No one has ever asked me that before.” She responded in the same slur from before, “But I would like that…”

I wished she’d not been so brief, but she was tired, so I did as she might like and put my arm around her. She was not warm or soft in the slightest. Even through her clothes, I could feel the gaunt bones of her hips pressed to mine and the ridges of her spine under my palm. The flash of her knuckled chest that I’d caught earlier flew back into my mind. She was a veritable twig. I could probably snap her in two if I held her too tightly… 

I decided not to think about that too much and produced the softest chuffing I could manage, nursing that gentle warmth in my chest for her sake. Like moth to light, she immediately squeezed me with her other arm and fully cuddled into me. What should have been a soft visage against my form was little more than a skull, tenderly wrapped in skin and hair, but even so, it was charming to see her abandon her previous hesitation. For someone so initially skeptical about the offer, she certainly didn’t mind setting that aside for the warmth she so craved. But she left me no time for amusement at her change in attitude as another quickly followed. Her thin frame soon slackened with sleep, releasing the last of her worries, and I couldn’t help but smile. Were it not the dead of night, I might even laugh. She wasn’t early to rise. She just didn’t know how to rest. 

[burakkuhardt-wrsf]

((Character interaction, for personal notes))

Skylar and Corey laying side by side on their backs, looking at the ceiling of their hideout (as teens)

Skylar: *nonchalant tone* I think you're the only one who's ever going to love me

Corey: That's not true-

Skylar: Maybe you're the only one stupid enough to love me. Pretty crappy gig.

Skylar: 'Zero out of ten, d-n-i. May cause bodily harm and loss of emotional function'

Corey: Skylar, I watch people fall in love with you every day.

Corey: I can see it in the way they look at you; like you just reinvented what it meant to be alive. And I get it, cuz I've felt it.

Corey: You could do anything if you really wanted it- I really believe that. *turns his head to look at Skylar, who's still looking at ceiling*

Corey: And I've seen plenty of people fall over themselves tryna get your attention- so you could fall in love too, if you wanted.

Skylar: *scrunches up his nose* there's a damn good reason I don't.

Skylar: If I was with anyone longer than a couple friendly conversations, I'd end up hurting 'em. You know that.

Corey: Maybe...you could learn not to?

Skylar: *scoffs* well yeah, obviously if I put the effort in, I could shove myself down to their level and play nice- fake it 'til I make it or whatever. But what fun would that be? What, I gotta water myself down until I'm liquid enough to fit their stupid mould? Take the pills they give us and just...forget what it feels like to be myself? I'm not doing that shit.

Skylar: I like the way I am. And if I have to be alone to be free without hurting others, I'm fine with that!

Corey: You wouldn't be alone! *holds Sky's hand and rests his head on his shoulder* I'm here.

Skylar: *quietly* I hurt you too.

Corey: I know you didn't mean to

Skylar: Intent doesn't really feel relevant.

Skylar: I mean. Imagine your brother dies and your best friend is too stuck up their ass to make sure you're ok- or keep you out of the hospital.

Skylar: But you don't have to imagine, do you.

Corey: ....

Skylar: And I'm gonna keep hurting you. Cuz that's what I do. Whether I intend to or not.

Corey: Maybe I have a secret revenge plan.

Skylar: Oh yeah? What's that, Mr. Cries-When-A-Fly-Dies?

Corey: I'm going to be really really sad. And cry. And look at you like this. *pouty disappointed face*

Skylar: ...don't do that.

Corey: And you'll feel awful. And then we'll both be sad. And it'll be your fault.

Skylar: Don't be cute, I'm serious.

Corey: *shrugs* so am I. That's my plan.

Skylar: It's a stupid plan.

Corey: It's going to work though.

Skylar: ....

Corey: ....

Skylar: ....there's something wrong with you. You should be angry when someone fucks you over. Not rolling over on your back making a target of yourself.

Corey: I don't think I can get angry

Corey: ...do you think it's the pills?

Skylar: *snorts* *rolls over on his stomach with his arms propping up his head* Nah. If it was the pills, everyone in that cell block school would be the same- and there's only one Corey Gallo.

Skylar: *sigh* they just don't make 'em like you

Corey: Oh. *looks at ceiling* I guess we're both kinda messed up then...does that make you feel better?

Skylar: Ah yes, you get the kinda messed up that makes you a puppy in a man's body, and I get the kinda messed up that makes me want to force-feed a puppy human remains. Totally equal ground. I feel loads better that this is the person I've been given to corrupt.

Corey:....do you really not want me around, then?

Skylar: *sits up in alarm* Oh my god seriously?? Corey I don't know what I would do without you!

Skylar: Well, murder probably, but you know what I mean!!

Skylar: Like obviously I'm terrified of hurting you, cuz you're, y'know- you. But only because I love you, like a lot. More than myself for sure. More than, like, the continued existence of the earth being a thing. Not even comparable.

Skylar: You're everything to me. And I hate myself for trying to give that up...

Skylar: And I am fully willing to end the life of anything that gets in the way of that again.

Corey: *sits up slowly* I forgot how scary you are, sometimes.

Corey: Not in the 'I'm afraid of you' kind of way, but in the 'I'm afraid of what you can do and what it would mean for the world' kind of way.

Skylar: *proud smile* Thank you!

Corey: So...we're ok?

Skylar: *pffft* no- *bumps shoulders* but we're together.

Corey: *shrugs* that's all I've ever really wanted anyway.

[jaijaitbinks]

His hands, warmer than the blaze lit within his heart, capture his in a tender hold. The musk of his sweat does not bug his nose when he holds him, the heaviness of sex weighing his body down feels more like a blanket than debris.

"I'd kill an infinite amount of monsters in your name for the rest of my life," he says, a gentle murmur as if any louder he would blow out the flames. "As many as it may take, if it meant keeping you by my side."

There's a small twinge at his heart that follows after his partner's words, one that does not feel good nor bad. It's simply there to open the gates for regret and doubt to seep through. He feels ashamed to be thinking in this current moment. He feels disappointed in himself for allowing thoughts to taint them, the both of them, like ink spilled over a page filled from the top to the very corner in words of affection.

"I feel like you don't love me as much as you say you do."

The face Genos makes is a cross between offended and hurt. It would've been funny—he would've laughed if it wasn't him who'd caused the expression.

Genos shifts to lean over him, like a shield protecting him from the outside world. The moon he can no longer see through the window pours moonlight over his back, and from where Saitama lay, he looks like an angel. His torso is propped up on an elbow while his other hand does not let his go. Their shared blanket slips off of his chest and waist and pools at his bare hips. It feels like he's looking at a preview of something he's not meant to see, but aches to do so anyway.

"What makes you think that?" He asks, tongue laced with a kind of fear Saitama knows all too well. Disgustingly too well. "Have I... Have I not been treating you as if I do?"

Saitama can't help but smile sadly up at him. Something he can't see digs it's nails into his chest, tentatively peels away the skin and flesh away with a strength he fears but a gentleness that doesn't try to stop it. When his heart lays raw, hidden beneath his cage of bones for Genos to see, he reaches for him. His fingers brush over his cheek, digits spreading to fit his ear between them and his thumb lovingly rubbing at his cheekbone. With caution, he guides him back down to rest against him. Their legs entangle beneath their blankets, his other arm snaking underneath them to wrap around his torso. When the blond's head is now against his collarbone, he kisses his forehead. His heart beats openly for him.

"No, you have been," he says. "I... I just think that, if I acknowledge the fact you love me as much as you say you do... act like you do," he squeezes him closer, the claws in his chest pull his ribs apart, lays his heart out bare, "then the pain I'll feel when I eventually disappoint you will hurt a million times more."

[buggerup-busters]

Buggeruptober Day 10 - Sleep

"...but that doesn't make any... maybe if I take the depth of the ocean there... and the distance from the Chilean coastline... but then... ugh, c'mon..."

The words float around Ben's head, sharpening into focus moment by moment as his mind drags itself from the depths of sleep. His eyes crack open, slowly widening as he comes back to himself, and it takes him a breath or two to place himself in his blurry surroundings. For a second he thinks he's back in the council office, but that's not right, that burned down months ago, and it's not the museum, the window's in the wrong place and then he shifts his head to the side and sat there, lit by a single candle on the nightstand, scribbling intently into her little notebook is Eliza. Even half-asleep with no glasses on in the dark, a warm tide of she's so beautiful washes over Ben, and he smiles with a happy, sleepy sigh.

"...and surely the fourth Witch will provide balance, just like Percy said, meaning--oh!" Eliza stops her writing, looking down at him with a half-guilty smile. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"What time is it?" Ben asks, stifling a yawn with the back of his free hand.

"The bells for half two went not too long ago."

"Have you been awake all this time?"

Eliza shrugs, just a little, as not to disturb either of them pressed close together in her not-quite-a-double bed. "I got in bed about midnight--I didn't wake you up, did I?--but I just couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about everything your cousin told us, and I just had so many ideas and theories--I can't wait for the next Fourth Anchor meeting, this is all going to blow their minds!--so I figured if I wasn't getting any sleep anyway I might as well start noting some of them down." She raps her pen on the notebook propped up against her knees, which have her patchwork quilt drawn up close over them. "But I'm having trouble coming up with anything cohesive..."

Fumbling for his glasses on the night stand, Ben eventually manages to get them on and half-raises his head from the pillow, hair still stuck to his cheek, to blearily scan the page of messy notes presented. Her handwriting's shocking. "Did you write this with your left hand?"

Eliza grins. "Well, I don't know what else I was supposed to do, seeing as you commandeered my right." She wriggles her fingers and Ben belatedly realises his other hand somewhere in the warmth under the duvet is linked with hers. "I think you were still asleep, but you grabbed hold as soon as I lay down next to you." Still holding on, she leans over and with her free hand lightly brushes the back of one knuckle under his chin with a mocking smile. "It's cute when you're clingy."

Ben blushes, but finds he doesn't particularly mind. "Well, it's reassuring to know even asleep I have the proper manners to show the appropriate affection." He squeezes her hand and it's hard to tell in the dark but he thinks (he hopes) she blushes a little as she smiles too. "Now come on now and settle down. If your theories aren't coming together it's because you're tired."

"Having to sleep is so unfair..." Despite her grumbling to herself, Eliza places the notebook and pen away and blows out the candle.

The room is plunged into darkness, the faint smell of candle smoke drifting over them, and Ben takes off his glasses again, settling down into the soft warmth. Next to him, he can feel, rather than see, Eliza doing the same.

"Fine, I'll try go to sleep again," she mutters, already sounding sleepier. "But I'm doing it like this--" Rolling over, she softly kisses Ben's forehead and snakes one arm under his neck, using the other to gently turn him onto his side so she can press in close to his back and slip her other arm around his chest, her fingers finding his to tangle together again.

Smiling to himself, Ben snuggles backwards so until they fit together snug and perfect, her breath warm on his nape. "You say that like I mind."

Eliza huffs a small laugh, the air ghosting over his skin, and Ben decides right then she can wake him up at two AM every night of his life if he gets to fall asleep exactly like this afterwards.

"...though if Thea Pryce really was communicating with some sort of entity... I wonder if..."

Well, almost exactly like this.

"Eliza," Ben says. "You are talking almost directly into my ear. Either you can fall asleep muttering to yourself about the fourth anchor, or you can fall asleep holding me, but you absolutely cannot do both."

Eliza giggles sleepily. "Making me choose between my two favourite things? That's cruel." She presses a kiss directly onto the sensitive spot just where his ear meets his jaw, giggling again as he shivers. "Goodnight, Ben."

He squeezes her arm closer to his chest. "Goodnight, Eliza."

He falls asleep smiling.

[hobiiiiiworld]

Heartstrings | Chapter 2 - Saying goodbye feels like this

Previous chapter

Synopsis: You can your family are not exactly close. It seems that whatever you do, they never want to accept you. Their newest hangup: your love-life. Or, lack thereof. There is a perfect solution to your problem, and he goes by the name of Jung Hoseok. 

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x female reader | Best friend Min Yoongi x female reader

Genres: Fake dating | Nothing to lovers | University AU

Word Count: 10,4K

TW: just some light swearing for this chapter

Read on Ao3

You unlock your door after finally managing to fit the key into the hole. For some reason, you're finding it hard to keep yourself standing straight. You stumble inside, kick off your shoes and make your way into the kitchen, suddenly in the mood for some food. As you move, Yoongi follows behind you, locking the door, kicking off his shoes and watching you trying to figure out what you want to eat. After a couple of minutes Yoongi sighs and walks over. 

"Let me," he tells you, gently pushing you out of the way. "Just… Go drink something," you nod and turn around, already walking towards the fridge. "Without alcohol!" he adds. 

"Yes sir!" 

You find yourself a bottle of soda and a bottle of water, bring them to the livingroom and settle yourself on the couch. As you wait, you try settling your uneasy stomach by finding a movie to watch. This is the first time Yoongi has wanted to talk to you like his, and for the first time, you don't know what to expect from Yoongi. 

Not a minute too early, Yoongi strolls into the livingroom with some food, which you happily eat. Yoongi settles himself against the sofa, feet on the coffee table. He starts to fidget with his hands, a clear sign he's nervous. For a while, the two of you just sit next to each other in silence. When done with the food, you flump against Yoongi, your head leaning on his chest in an attempt to soothe his nerves. The livingroom falls silent as the two of watch the movie, but neither of you really pay attention to it. You settle yourself against him even more, your knees propped up and your arm going around his waist so you can relax more comfortably. You can hear Yoongi´s heartbeat racing away. What reason does he have to this nervous? It's just you. 

As if he can read your mind, he clears his throat. 

"_____?" You only nod, too comfortable. "I want to tell you something, but I suck at these things, almost as much as you suck at personal space," he sighs, which makes you look up at him. As you lean up to watch his face you end up being only centimeters from his face, and Yoongi closes his eyes and exhales. "See?" When he opens his eyes again you notice the worry in his eyes. 

"You know you can tell me anything. You really don't have to be scared," you tell him, once again snuggling up to him to give him comfort. "I'm always going to be here." The position is awkward, so Yoongi brings his arm behind your back, placing a soft hand on your shoulder. Yoongi knows what he want to say, he just doesn't know how to say it. So, he closes his eyes and let his instincts take over. For a while, Yoongi doesn't say anything and your focus goes to the movie.

That is until Yoongi suddenly kisses the top of your head. He has done that before, but not like this. Not while laying down on your couch in the middle of the night, you half drunk and him holding you. Intimate. It suddenly feels like you're stepping over a line. Confused of your own feelings and Yoongi´s actions, you pull back with a small smile, trying to rid yourself of the confusion. 

"God, I'm so awkward," he groans, rubbing his hands over his face. "And it's us, you know? It shouldn't matter because I know what you will say, but it doesn't change anything. I still want to tell it to you, and I want you to know, but…" his voice fades into nothing. "You get what I'm trying to say, right?" You shake your head. Even though the suspicion is growing by each second that goes by, you still can't afford to make any assumptions. To place words in his mouth. "Listen, to you, touching and cuddling comes natural, it's just a part of friendship, right? But it's not that easy to me. I really like my own personal space. When we first became friends I thought you were flirting with me, but over time I realized that it didn't mean anything to you," he laughs a bitter laugh, not looking at you. "Like, at all. Once I realized that, I just let it be. I let you express yourself the way you wanted and felt comfortable. Let you invade my private space even though it made me uncomfortable, because it didn't mean anything. However -" there is a pregnant pause before he looks up at you. You heart rate picks up at the thought of what he will say next. "- it feels like something have changed lately. And I can't go around pretending it hasn't. It's not fair to you, and it's really not fair to me. Because I used to not like to cuddle, but now I just want to hold you closer to me. And so I realized that-" 

"Yoongi," you try to stop him from saying it. From changing everything. 

"I think I'm in love with you." As he says it Yoongi looks down at his feet. "And by each day that goes by it gets harder to pretend that I don't have these huge feelings." There is a pause, Yoongi sneaking looks at you meanwhile your whole world is spinning. Yoongi is in love with you? "Sorry I couldn't give a better proclamation, as I said, I suck at these things." He tries to smile, but it falls when he sees your expression. You stay silent, taking in everything. "Can you tell me what you're thinking?" 

You have never considered how Yoongi must be feeling. Never did it cross your mind that he might want something else than friendship. That he had another reason to be around you than ´just because`… How long has been feeling like this? And then your realize that he might have done everything he did for you because he wanted you to return his feelings, not because he was your friend and wanted to be there. 

"It's a lot…" you start, trying your best to form sentences. "I just… How long?" 

He thinks a while. 

"I guess it's maybe coming up to a year or so now?" Yoongi answers. A year? A year worth of coffee runs together? A year worth of cuddles? A year worth of you falling asleep on his shoulder? That long? 

"So everything you have done this past year…" you start, trying to figure out your thoughts as you speak. "Have been an attempt to try and make me return your feelings?" You ask. 

Yoongi furrows his brows, shaking his head. More than anything, he looks confused. 

"No?" 

You can't help but feel like he misunderstood your question, so you try again. "So, every time we have been together this last year, your actions haven't been powered by your feelings for me? By you trying to make me feel the same?" 

Yoongi sighs, eyebrows going further down, forehead creasing and lips goes in a straight line. He is clearly annoyed and angry now, but doesn't say anything, only breathes. Then, he blinks. 

"_____, I know you won't return my feelings, that's not what is happening here." 

There is another pause, and you're losing your mind because what do you say? How do you explain your feelings? In the silence Yoongi let's his face fall, and you finally see it: how much he is hurting this moment. Of course he is holding up, he is Yoongi, but you know Yoongi better than you know yourself. The darkness in his eyes, his lips that are turned down and relaxed, and his eyebrows turned down are all telling you he is hurting. 

You can only see it a second before he hides his face in his hands. You want to place your hand on his shoulder and comfort him, but you doubt that would be any better, so you just watch him. When Yoongi speaks, his low voice rumbles all the way though your skin and straight to your heart. 

"You know I would never do that to you." 

"Sorry." 

"The reason I told you how I feel is because I wanted you to know; I can't keep anything from you. But _____, some things need to change…" 

The words sounds so weird coming out of Yoongi´s mouth. So raw and honest, and you have never heard him like this before. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You were a little bit right earlier, I have probably catered to you a little bit more than I would have if I didn't love you… But I never intended or wanted to receive anything from you, I just liked doing those things for you, but I probably need to stop doing that. I need to take a step back and stop acting like something I'm not." 

"Yoongi," you say, making him look up at you. "I love you - but I'm not in love with you. You're my best friend." There is a pause where Yoongi just nods at the ground. "Right now I'm not in the right headspace for a relationship, so even if I could possibly love you back, I wouldn't let that happen right now. It's not something I want have space for in my life. It has nothing to do with you, but it's all me," you tell him, trying to express your thoughts that are in shambles. 

He takes a deep breath and nods his head once more, rubbing his eyes. 

"I never wanted to hurt you or anything…"

"Don't worry about it. I knew you didn't feel the same for me, so why are you acting like you're breaking up with me?" he forces a laugh, and you smile. "Alright. I think I'm done here for the day. Try to get some sleep, alright?" 

Yoongi is the first one to stand up, and you follow his actions. As he turns around, panic strikes you. Is he really leaving like this? Your whole relationship is up in the air and he is just leaving like this? Who knows what will happen when Monday comes and things have changed, but you're not ready to find out. You just want your relationship to be the same for one more night.

"Can you not stay?" You ask in a rush, and Yoongi turns around. "We can watch a movie or something. Talk some more…?" 

"Of course, if that's what you want." And you can't help but notice it: he is doing it for you. Even though he is hurting right now, he is willing to sit in his hurt to comfort you. 

"You don´t have to. I understand if you don't want to." 

Yoongi laughs. "We're still friends, right?" You nod. "Didn't we watch movies together two years ago, as well? Who says we can't watch one now?" 

And so, the two of you settle yourselves on each side of the couch, creating some space between you. Finding a new movie to watch turns out to be harder than expected, all the recommended movies being about love. In the end you settle on an action movie, which you don't pay attention to. You can tell Yoongi isn't paying attention either, picking at his T-shirt, changing positions more than he is sitting still, and looking anywhere else but you or the TV. 

Halfway through the movie Yoongi suddenly stands up.

"I'm going to go. It's getting really late, and know I said I would stay, but… To be honest I'm really tired right now, and this -" he gestures between himself and the TV. "- feels like something I shouldn't be doing to myself," he still tries to smile, which makes you even more sad. 

"Of course," you try to reassure him despite your own mixed feelings, standing up as well. Things are already changing, and even though you knew they would, and had to for Yoongi´s sake, it's still not a good change. You're slowly losing your friend, you realize. "Let me walk you out." 

Once in the hallway, you watch as Yoongi ties his shoes. If you could take everything he was feeling away from him you would gladly do that. During your friendship Yoongi haven't had many low periods, but every time time he did, he always turned to you. To think that he won't be turning to you now, leaning on someone else instead,  hurts in some weird way. It has always been the two of you, open and honest with each other. It shouldn't be different now, but it has to be… 

You dry the tears that fell as soon as Yoongi stands to stand up, but of course he notices. Without hesitating he brings you in for a hug. 

"What's wrong with you?" he asks, annoyed but fond. At the same as he squeezes his arms around your shoulders. "You're acting like you're the one who's heartbroken," he jokes, and you sigh. 

"I just don't want things to change too much." 

"They won't. I just need to sort myself out. Be patient with your best friend and he will find his way back, and not this stupid guy with annoying feelings." There is a pause. "Good luck with your parents and Hoseok on Sunday, and you can tell me all about it on Monday, ok? Well, maybe not everything. " he backtracks, voice quivering. With one last squeeze he lets go of you, turns around and leaves without looking back once. 

The emptiness Yoongi left you with is sitting heavy on you, and you don't really want to go back to the living room. Yet, the movie still playing, and you decide to not torture yourself more than you have to - watching a movie might take your mind off everything. As you sit down you see Yoongi´s phone on the couch. In the space of one minute you have located your keys, thrown on your slippers and run down the stairs, throwing the door open. You're running to the parking-lot when you see the car just standing there. No lights on, nothing. Slowly, you approach, only to see Yoongi sitting in the driver's seat, head leaning against the steering-wheel. 

Carefully, you knock. You know he heard by the small jerk of his head before he caught himself, hiding his face again. You knock once more, saying his name this time. "You left your phone." 

Slowly, he turns around and opens the door. You hand him his phone, trying to see his face. 

"Are you alright?" 

He only nods. 

"Yoongi." When you lay your hand on his, he looks up. The first thing you see are the tear-filled eyes, then the red nose and at last his puffy cheeks. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the headrest for a while.  

"It really sucks," he smiles sadly, opening his eyes to look at you. "You know, the thing about this feeling is that even though I realistically know I won't get to be with you, I still really want to. And then you rejected me and asked me to stay, and I really hated you for a second there." He sighs, hitting his head lightly against the headrest in frustration. "I'm so sorry, _____. I'm messing everything up," he speaks calmly as tears keeps pouring out. Your heart aches, but the one thing that has always helped - a hug - will probably not help right now… There is nothing you can do, being the one who hurt him. 

"You can tell me that. When I'm overstepping you have to say that." 

"Everything feels like overstepping." 

"Yoongi." 

"You just don't get it, do you? Even this -" he looks down your hand on his. "- is setting everything on fire in me. You should really go." 

"What can I do?" 

"Either you can tell me you love me and kiss me, or you can go upstairs and let me be for the rest of the night." 

"What?" 

"This sucks so much. Everything sucks. You being here sucks. You being up there sucks. You holding my hand sucks. You not holding my hand sucks. And I really tried to see how it would be between us now that you know. Thirty minutes with you across the couch was torture, can you imagine what this does to me? So yes, go home or end my misery." He meets your eyes, and have to take a deep breath. 

The message is clear. You have no choice but to let him go. Watching him intently, you let go of his hand and step back. Once cleared, Yoongi closes the door and sink down in his seat. You watch as he covers his face, his shoulder now shaking. Watching your best friend cry like this and not being able to do anything is worse than anything, so you walk back up to your apartment, take a long shower and get yourself into bed, only to have a long and restless night. 

If it's Yoongi´s words or the alcohol that has your stomach in a twist and your head feeling like a rock, you don't know, but you're more and more inclined to lean against Yoongi´s words. They replay like a broken record. "Either you can tell me you love me and kiss me, or you can go upstairs and let me be for the rest of the night." During the night, you even forced yourself to try and picture yourself together with Yoongi. All you could see was how awkward you would feel to hold his hand or kiss him. You never knew just how platonic you thought of Yoongi until those pictures entered your mind. To you, Yoongi have always been a good friend to lean on. It never crossed your mind to want to kiss him or to be with him in that way. Just the though makes you feel awkward and weird. 

The clock finally hits ten, and you let yourself rise from bed. With only a couple of hours of sleep, you make some food and eat before you start to clean the apartment, all in an attempt to distract yourself from the image of Yoongi in the car. 

By twelve you remember that you and Hoseok have plans, and you send him a message telling him to just come over whenever. By the time you have showered and gotten dressed, your phone rings. 

Jung Hoseok calling. 

Suddenly you feel nervous, a completely different part of the night before now entering your mind. You clear your throat and pick up. 

"Hi." 

"_____," Hoseok says, voice hoarse. "How are you feeling?" 

"Not too bad, just a little tired. I can't handle a late night like I used to," you say, trying you very best to put everything aside and act normal 

Hoseok laughs. "Don't need to tell me. I feel like dying right now." 

His words sends a spiral of doubt through you. Maybe everything that happened last night is making him feel awkward. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone with you now that the two of you… Well, technically you did nothing, but to you, nothing can be a whole lot. Maybe this is Hoseok trying to get out of today's plans; you can't really blame him, feeling a little awkward as well. You decide to bite.

"We can reschedule to tomorrow morning if you want?" you offer. 

"No, that was not what I want at all… I'm just calling to ask what you want for brunch." You're a little surprised at the initiative, but try to go with the flow. 

"I'll just have whatever you're having. As long as it's not too weird, like banana-pizza or something," you say. 

"Why do you not have faith in me? First ballroom dancing and now this? I think I want to break up."

You can't help but smile at the playfulness in his voice.

"But how, oh how, will I make it without you, my love? I was to introduce you to my parents. You were my last hope for freedom!" 

"_____?" Hoseok asks, clearly not playing along, making you blush in embarrassment. 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you even know how cute you are?" Hoseok says, making you blush even more. When you don't reply, Hoseok speaks again, "Can you tell me what you really want to eat, now? The woman on aisle eleven is not very happy with me right now." 

"A simple sandwich would suffice, I already ate a while ago." 

"Alright. I'll be at yours in twenty minutes then." 

"See you soon," you say, not waiting for a reply before hanging up. 

After the very awkward episode on the phone, you spend the next twenty minutes trying to force yourself to calm down. You can be normal. You are normal, it was probably the lack of sleep that made you too carried away. You just have to relax and be yourself, and you'll avoid any further embarrassment. Suddenly your phone rings. It's once again Hoseok. 

"It's me. I think I'm here - what do I press?" Hoseok asks. 

"The one with my name, maybe?" You tease, then suddenly realize he might not know your last name, which is the only part of your name on the name tag downstairs. You run a hand down you face in desperation. "It's apartment 314," you add. A second goes by and the bell goes off, and you buzz him in.

"Thanks," he says, and adds your full name at the end, making you feel fuzzy. Your own name should not make you feel fuzzy, you realize and shake it off. Calm is key… 

You wait in the hallway, the sound of Hoseok´s steps bouncing off the walls as he approaches. You see him before he sees you, and you take a second to take him in. The first think you notice is his hair, which still seems to be wet, hanging in front of his face, and you realize you have only ever seen him with styled hair. Until now.  Then you notice the hallows of his cheeks. He is wearing baggy clothes today, incredibly making him look even smaller. This Hoseok, the leisurely-laidback-hungover one, is very handsome. You realize that it's his face. It looks longer now, more grown. 

Hoseok looks up and sees you. He smiles tiredly, walking slower now. 

"Hi," he says, opening his arms for a hug, which you happily step into, letting yourself melt into his warm embrace for a while. 

"Thanks for coming," you force yourself to step back, holding the door open for Hoseok to go through. 

"Thanks for inviting me." 

He kicks off his shoes and places them neatly by the corner. 

"Let me give you a little tour of the place," you say, walking further into your apartment, Hoseok right in your heel. "The kitchen," you comment as you enter, turning around. As you watch Hoseok taking in your home, you suddenly feel very aware of every little piece of your kitchen. Maybe you should have hid the half eaten bag of chips left after your breakfast, or lit a scented candle to mask the smell of your cooking. Hoseok is smiling, though, and you relax a little against the counter. 

"It's so nice. It's so much bigger than the kitchen at the student hall. How can you afford this?" Hoseok asks, turning his attention to you. 

"Oh… I know the tenant, she gives me a good price. I have a job on the side as well, so with the student aid I'm lucky enough to afford this," you explain. 

"What's your job?" 

"Just retail - boring stuff, really. But it pays the bills, and they're nice enough to accommodate my university schedule from semester to semester." Hoseok nods, seemingly done taking in the kitchen. You move on to the living room. "This is the living room." You don't know you're commenting on the rooms as if he can't see it's the living room. Everything about this - Hoseok in your home - is making your mind jumbled, your body strangely tingly now that it's only the two of you locked in this small apartment together. It's hard to think think straight.

Hoseok goes straight for the pictures you hung up. After a second, he points to the one photo you have of you and your family. 

"It this you and your brother?" You nod, watching him taking in the picture. Imagining this Hoseok dancing hip-hop is much easier. It's something about the way he leans forwards, his hands in his pockets. You can't help but watch as his eyes goes back and forth, reminding you of last night. 

"What's his name?" 

"Jin." Another second goes by before you add: "It's Seokjin." 

When Hoseok turns around he is wearing a content grin, making you smile too. 

"What?" you ask.

"You're finding this so awkward, aren't you?" 

"What, no?" But you are. 

"You are!" he laughs, pointing his finger at you. 

"Maybe a little bit," you agree, cringing a little. It's just that after last night I can't look at you without getting reminders of what almost happened, leaving a weird feeling of tension in my body. You should tell him that you should forget yesterday. That all you can offer him is friendship. You want to be clear with him, but as you're about to speak, closing that door is harder than you imagined. "I was way too drunk last night, it's embarrassing," is what you say instead. It makes Hoseok chuckle.

"It was a very cozy night." he says, and you groan. "I enjoyed it, _____. Besides, you're my girlfriend, nothing to be embarrassed by, sweetie," he winks, making you blush furiously. You force yourself not to touch your face as you feel it heat up. "Or are you a baby-kinda girl?" You're at a loss for words, and just stare at Hoseok, who is staring back at you now, grinning. Something about Hoseok is so daring to you. Maybe it's his smile, or his hair, or even his voice.It doesn't really when he makes your whole body electric with anticipation. Suddenly you're aware of your own face, and you realize you're grinning back. You force it away to the best of your ability.  "Alright, sweetie it is," he concludes. 

Quickly turning away, you take the lead into the hallway, tapping on the first door. "This is the bathroom. Help yourself to it whenever. And this is my bedroom." You tap on the last, closed door. "That's the whole apartment." 

Hoseok holds up the bag in his hand. "Should we eat?" 

"We can eat in the living room?" you offer. 

The two of you settle down in the living room, you on one side of the couch, Hoseok taking the corner space oposite. He hands you the sandwich and unwraps his own, resting himself against the couch. For a moment he closes his eyes, leans back and props his feet up on the sectional. You feel bad for making him come all the way and exerting himself like this, especially when he's not feeling his best. 

"Feel at home." He eyes you as he takes a bite. Setting an example, you settle yourself back on the couch, your feet now laid straight in the couch, almost laying all the way down. It takes a couple of seconds before Hoseok follows your cue and settles himself further back in the couch, tugging his feet down under himself. 

"So, are you close to your brother, Seokjin?" 

"Not at all. He's a little too much," you say. "And let's not forget how much of an ass-kisser he is," you say casually, making Hoseok almost choke on his sandwich, laughing. "Ever since we were little he has always just wanted to be perfect, and now he uses that as a way to annoy me and to get one up on me with our parents." 

"Sorry, that sucks. He should learn to chill and do what makes him happy instead of posing as perfect, if you ask me." 

"That's what I mean! Maybe be wouldn't be such an ass if he didn't try to please our parents so much." 

"You parents, how bad are they?" 

"Depends on what kind of bad you mean. They managed to raise me with some decent values, I think. However, they…" you think of what to say, having a hard time not putting them on full blast. "Aren't always the most caring parents. I would say the value perfection over happiness, money over memories. You get it," you say, shrugging, trying to make less of a deal of it. 

"And let's say I'm not all that perfect, how do you think they would react?" 

"Don't worry, you're pretty much there," you say, blushing as you realize what you just said. This isn't very chill of you, but your words are making Hoseok smile widely, so you relax again. You take another bite, letting your words settle between the two of you. "Anyway, that's not the reason I said I had a boyfriend." 

A moment of silence passes as you both eat. 

"Why did you?" 

"To get them off my back," you say. "They're always fussing about one thing or another, and now that my brother is getting engaged soon, I'm the new bullseye. Having a boyfriend will make them stop fuzzing about it. About me. And, hopefully, they will let the whole subject go once we break up." 

"Really?" Hoseok seems deep in thought. 

"What about your family?" you smile, watching him as he fidgets with the wrapping paper. 

"I have an older sister, Jiwoo. We're close, but yet, not… She's quite established - married and pregnant - so she tends to find me childish. We get along and have a lot of fun when she finds the time to meet me," Hoseok says, head falling slightly as he relaxes even more. His eyes are shining now, his face even more open. "My mum and dad live on the countryside, about an hour away with the train. I usually go and stay with them during the holidays, but other than that I have to made do with a phonecall." 

"It's nice, though. You seem close to them." He nods. "Do you speak with them often?" 

"Not anymore. They're getting older; on times they used to call me they now have to rest. But I have nothing to complain about, we're a tight family." 

"Doesn't matter. You're allowed to complain." 

Of all the things you imagined today, you never imagined sitting here, having a deep conversation with Hoseok about families. It was probably inevitable when the sole reason you're here is your family. With the conversation having turned serious, you forgot your food. All your focus is on Hoseok and the way he practically melted when speaking about his family. His head is resting against the back of couch, hands now laid on his stomach. You watch him, trying your best to look away, but to no avail. Hoseok watches you as well, locking the two of you in a bubble where time ceases to exist.

"Family will never be easy. I chose my friends based on how well we get along and can communicate. Family is just something you are born into and have to tolerate…" Hoseok says, and you can't help but notice the small frown.

"That's not true. For some people there is real love there," you say, sending him a smile, holding yourself back from patting his hand. "Talking less doesn't take away from the love, it just means you're busy. I bet you all really love each other." 

"Yeah, you're right." 

"Then why the frown?" You can't help but ask. 

"I just miss them," he says, shrugging and gathers himself enough to smile. "Now, please tell me more about your family. What should I, your boyfriend, know about them?" 

"My dad is a business man, he owns his own company. They produce, store and ship out products for other companies," you tell Hoseok. "My mum is a housewife, but don't let that fool you. Before she met my dad, she worked as the private secretary and knew the most power people on a first name basis. I've had dinner with politicians, entertainers and even some world leaders. My mum will always be more influential than my dad, you trust that." 

"Oh wow." 

"Yeah," you breathe. "I have nothing to live up to…" 

"You shouldn't compare yourself to her. It sound dreadful, stressful and boring, you wouldn't want to do that anyway. That's not where your potential lays." 

"Really? Then where does my potential lay?" you ask, grinning now. Hoseok looks you up and down, a playful look on his face, and leans forward. 

"Seduction," he whispers, making you turn red immediately. "Last night, you-" 

You cut him off, embarrassed more than anything. "Shut up!" you say through your hands that shield your face from Hoseok´s view. 

"I found it cute." You shake your head, hoping for this to stop. "Sexy, even." 

"Don´t tease me for my drunken mistakes," you say, laying face down into the couch. Hoseok doesn't say anything else, and your face slowly returns to it's normal shade. When you peak at him, he is staring at you with a grin. 

"You weren't that drunk," he adds, and you groan. "Sorry! I'll stop." 

"Please do. Just for the record, I don't do those things, you know?" 

"What, fun?" 

"No, the whole…" you gesture with your hands, a loss for words. How can you possibly explain this without sounding like a dork?

"Making out?" 

"One night stand." 

"Was that what we were doing?" At his question you can't help but shift on the couch. What is the right answer here? Is there even one? 

"Yes? No? I dont know, you tell me."

"It was definitely not a one night stand." 

"Alright," you say, feeling like your nerves are all over the place. Why can't you just be relaxed? Usually you would be joking back. Instead, you're a blushing and stuttering mess. In an effort to calm down, you take a short breath in, then out. "Anyway, you keep going off track. Let's get back to the family talk." 

Hoseok opens his mouth to say something, but closes it before he does. A second goes by before he speak again. 

"You're right. So far we have your dad, the businessman, you mum, the influence itself, and your brother, the ass. Anyone else I need to know about?" 

"Nope. I think it's alright for now." 

"Then what about you? What else should I know?" 

"I´m the black sheep. I'm the one who isn't engaged by the age of twenty-three. I'm in business just to please my dad, but suck at it. And I'm not good looking. My future looks bleak, to say the least. Bringing you will be the best thing I've done."

"Your future might look bleak," Hoseok says, smiling encouraging to you, "but it's only because you're lookin at from the wrong angle. Trust me, you're all good." 

There is a silence where Hoseok turns his head, sighing in contentment as you let his words sink in. You want to explain that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's the opinion of the people who should love you regardless - your parents - that matters to you. How can you convey the feelings you possess of never being good enough just because two people tells you so? How can you explain that you know their opinion shouldn't matter, and they don't, but they do anyway. They matter the most. Because it's easy for Hoseok to tell you that you're good, but it's your parents who want you to succeed in life, knows you better, and who have a better understanding. They know how things work. And even though you would never admit it, their approval would mean the world to you. 

When you turn to Hoseok next, you see him laying there, eyes closed and looking tired. Maybe you should just tell him to go home… 

"Do you want to watch a movie?" you ask, gaining his attention.

"I'm up for anything." 

While you pick the movie, Hoseok collects a blanket and wraps himself in it. You pick the first movie you see and hit play. As the movie starts, the two of you settle down in the silence, watching as things escalades in the movie. Something happens on the screen, you can tell by all the noise, but the lack of sleep and exhaustion hits you.  By each minute passing, you can feel yourself drifting more and more. Your efforts to stay awake are fruitless, and with a sudden drop of your head you jump awake again. As if a reflex, you look and see Hoseok looking your way with a smile. Slowly, he scoots down, laying down now. He holds out his arm, opening the blanket with a shy smile, clearly asking you to lay down next to him. 

"Come on," he softly encourages, nodding his head. Your head is spinning now. He wants you to cuddle him? "I won't bite," he jokes, his voice low. And you don't have it in you to say no. Not that you want to say no. Every fiber in you are screaming for you move, and so you do, head spinning. 

You sit down next to him and give him a quizzing look, making sure he's alright with this once more. Hoseok rolls his eyes, softly grabs your shoulders and drags you down to him. Soon your engulfed in blankets, arms and feet. At first you are too aware of every little thing for you to properly relax. Only when Hoseok brings the blanket higher up and around your shoulders, can your body relax properly. 

By now, you're not sure what's happening on the TV-screen, and you don't care. All you can perceive is Hoseok arm that is resting on your hip, and his other hand, now going under the blanket to grab your elbow. Gunshots are going off on the screen, but who is shooting seems unimportant when Hoseok´s chin is resting on the top of your head. You couldn't care less about who won the fight when Hoseok´s thumb is rubbing softly on your arm, lulling you to sleep. 

The next thing you know, the livingroom is quiet. You're comfortable, more comfortable than you have been in a long time, and let yourself drift back to sleep. 

Suddenly, you're brought back again, the realization that you're in Hoseok´s arms hitting you. Carefully, you lift your head and prop yourself up on your elbow. Hoseok is sleeping, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. You fell asleep… While cuddling Hoseok. The realization sends a small panic through you. This was a bad idea. Just last night you told Yoongi you didn't want a relationship, and here you are, cuddling Hoseok. And yes, cuddling is fine - it can be platonic - but with Hoseok, you definitely don't want it to be platonic. You know as much, and you know it's a bad idea to go down this route. 

Carefully, you lay your hand on his shoulder and shake.

"Hoseok?" you whisper. Hoseok opens his eyes slowly, blinking hard a couple of times before resting his eyes on you. He smiles lazily, his hand around your waist tightening.  "We fell asleep," you tell him.

"Seems so." Hoseok clears his throat, clearly more awake now. Taking this as your cue, you get out of his arms and stand up. Needing an excuse to get yourself out of the room and recollect yourself, you pick up the bag with trash and walk to the kitchen. After throwing it away, you pour yourself a glass of water, which you chug down. If things weren't confusing before, it certainly is now.

Suddenly Hoseok is right behind you, stretching his body. "I should get going."

Don't be disappointed, you tell yourself, but his ruffled hair is making it hard to be rational. 

"I´ll walk you out." 

You quickly grab your keys before returning to find Hoseok in the hallway, tying his shoes. After stepping into your slippers, the two of you exit the apartment, Hoseok suddenly turning to you with a wicked grin. You already know what he's thinking, and shake your head. 

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Jung." 

"I didn't say anything," he says as you climb the stairs painfully slow. "But…" he starts, but only laughs. 

"No buts," you say. 

"Fine. I'm a boobs man, anyway," he shrugs, and you almost trip down the stairs. Correction, you would have fallen if it wasn't for Hoseok´s hand grabbing your elbow. "Sorry." 

"I remember when I first met you," you tell him, stopping to look at him. "I remember thinking you would be a great match because you knew to hold your tongue. I could not have been any more wrong about you," you say, trying your best to be serious, but failing desperately. 

Hoseok grins back at you. "I mean, I could hold my tongue, but why would I when you always give me that look when I don't?" There is a pause before he goes on. "Don't worry, I'll be good during dinner tomorrow," he smiles, and you believe him. 

"I know you will, I'm not worried about that." 

"I have some questions about tomorrow." 

"Fire away."

"Where are we going? Should I wear anything special?" 

"It's quite a nice restaurant, so you can wear something nice. Nothing too nice, though. A nice sweater with a polo underneath would do the trick. Maybe a nice pair of trousers." 

"And what time should I pick you up?" 

"It starts around six, but I can walk if it's out of your way."

"Don't worry, I'll pick you up around half six." 

"Nervous?" 

"For some reason, yes?" he answers it like a question, and the two of you laugh lightly. 

"Don't worry, you'll do fine. But Hoseok? Please, if they say anything out of line, try your best to not let it get to you."

"You warned me before," he reminds you.  

"I know, but they tend to aim under the belt," you explain just as you come down on the last flight of stairs. The two of you step outside, turning to each other. 

"My belt, as well?" 

"No." You breathe out. "It's mostly about me. Just don't let them get a rise out of you." 

"I´ll ask again, how bad are your parents?" 

"Bad enough for me to acquire a fake boyfriend? I usually try to get out of these dinners, but I can't avoid them forever," you shrug. A moment passes. "Thank you for coming here," you tell him, shifting on your feet. 

The anticipation of parting ways makes the air heavy between you, andHoseok takes a step towards you, reaching out his hand to touch your cheek, stroking it lightly. Just one more moment, you chant in your head. One more moment… When you look up at him, you meet his gaze, and for a split second his eyes goes to your lips. You know you shouldn't be welcoming this moment, but your mind and body is screaming at you to let it happen. You want it too much to deny it now that it's here, and so, instead of running away, you smile back, your eyes automatically drifting to his lips as well. 

You can't find it in you to breathe as he holds your gaze, inching closer. "Thanks for today." 

"I had a great time," you whisper, clutching you keys. 

"I did, too," he whisper back, taking one final step towards you, his torso now flushed against you. Hoseok finally closes his eyes and leans in, slow enough to give you plenty of time to draw back. You don't, and when his lips meet yours, it's not enough. The kiss is feathery light, your lips barely touching, but it sends your whole body rigid. You want to grab his shirt and pull him to you, but before you can do that, Hoseok steps back, letting out a wishful sigh. "I´ll see you tomorrow," 

You watch him walking away for a moment before turning away, locking yourself back inside.

If Hoseok is nervous, he doesn't let it show, keeping his face blank as he drives. You, on the other hand, are a blabbering mess. As Hoseok drives towards the restaurant, you keep telling him small facts about yourself in case it could be useful. The thought of getting caught in your lie almost sends a shiver through you. Even Hoseok´s hand on yours does nothing to help from this nervousness. So, you keep spilling everything you can remember about yourself to him, hoping it somehow help sell your lie. 

"I used to play handball, then switched to football before I ended up not playing any sports at all. When I was thirteen I got braces. I'm a dog person, but my parents never let me get one. I didn't tell you about my brother´s girlfriend, Sienna! She's actually very sweet. A teacher, she's my age. The two of them met -" 

Hoseok squeezes your hand. "Even couples doesn't know every little detail about each other, just try to relax. Everything will be fine," he says, turning off the road and into a gas-station, where he stops the car. "I'm just getting myself a coffee, you want anything?" 

You shake your head, try to give a smile, which seems enough as Hoseok leaves you alone in the car. The radio keeps playing, the sound mere background noise to your very loud anxiety. It's not too late to call them and say you broke up this morning, you think to yourself. It's not only the thought of getting caught,that is worrying you. Putting Hoseok out there like this, exposing him to your parents is already making you feel worries. Who knows how they will react; what might come out of their mouths. 

Deep in your thoughts, you don't even notice Hoseok approaching the car. As he closes the car door, he holds out a cup for you. When you take it, it's hot. 

"Thought some tea might calm your nerves," he explains, fastening his seatbelt and drives off. The drive goes way too fast, and you barely finish your tea before Hoseok is parking the car. "Ready whenever you are, girlfriend," he tell you. It's time, and so all you can do is take a deep breath, nod your head and exit the car. 

Hoseok opens the door to the restaurant, holding it open for you with a small smile. As you walk past him, he grabs your hand, clutching it as you walk, showing his first sign of nervousness. You spot your parents in the far back of the restaurant at once - of course you do - and you meet your dad's eye for a second before he looks at Hoseok, eyes raking over his body with a frown before he lands on your intertwined hands. Fuck. 

"Last chance to back out," you look up at Hoseok. I reply, he lets your hand go, brings his hand to the small of your back instead. Smiling, he leans in and kisses the top of your head. You're not sure if you can keep standing, the feeling of him lingering on you. 

"I think it's already too late, your dad is sending me lazer eyes," he says."You're sure he's not actually capable of murder, right?" The joke helps, and you can't help but chuckle with him. 

You walk up to the table, your mum watching you as well. "_____," she says, standing up to greet you. After giving her a quick hug, you kiss your dad's cheek, then turn to Hoseok, who is watching with a smile. 

"Mum, dad, this is Hoseok," you introduce, at which Hoseok steps forward to greet them with his hand outstretched. The initial introduction goes quickly, and the two of you take seat next to each other across from your parents. 

"How did you get here?" your mum asks, looking between the two of you. You lean closer to Hoseok in hopes of looking more like a couple. 

"We drove, I was lucky enough to get to borrow my sister´s car," Hoseok answers, and you see you dad sizing Hoseok up and down. 

"Is Seokjin and Sienna joining us?" you ask before your dad can speak. 

"They should be here any minute," you mum says before turning to Hoseok who is taking a sip of water, hand shaking ever so slightly. "It's so nice to meet you, Hoseok. I wish _____ would have told us more about you, but she can be quite secretive," she winks to him, surprising you. "Rumor has it you're studying the same as her?" 

Hoseok nods. "Yes." 

"You want to go into business, then?" your dad asks over the edge of his glass. 

"Business seems to be the best way to go," Hoseok says vaguely, surprising you with his way with words. 

"It is, indeed. _____ isn't quite sure what she wants, yet. She keeps on going with business, though, even if she isn't all that… talented at it," your dad says, making you blush in humiliation. Here we go… The table goes quiet for a couple of seconds. Then, suddenly you hear a familiar voice behind you. Seokjin ruffles your hair in greeting, but you can't get yourself to look up, afraid that the tears will spill. 

"You must be the boyfriend?" Seokjin asks, stretching out his hand as Hoseok stands up. 

"Yes, I'm Hoseok." A second later Sienna hugs you over your shoulder, which you appreciate. 

"Hey, girlie," she says and moves away. "Hoseok, was it?" Some more handshakes and hugs are shared, and then they are all seated again. This time, Hoseok reaches over to grab your hand tightly under the table. The comfort is immediate, and you finally make yourself look up. This time you're not alone around this table. 

The urge to ask your brother what made him so late in order to taunt him is strong, but you bite your tongue. "How are you?" you ask Sienna. 

"Good, good. Can't complain." Her smile is so bright it rubs off on you, forcing a smile out of you. "You seem good, too?" she asks, sending a quick glance at Hoseok. You blush, making her laugh. "Cutie!" 

"Should we order?" Seokjin asks then. 

"Good idea," you dad comments. "Tell me, what do you like to eat, Hoseok?" As his name is mentioned, Hoseok hand twitches around yours. You glance at Hoseok. One thing you have noticed is how he smiles continuously. It's always there, never wavering even when he's put on the spot. 

"Anything as long as it's properly seasoned and cooked." 

"My man," you dad comments, and you almost fall off the chair. "Then you should definitely get the oyster for starter and the house tapas." 

"Sounds delicious, I'll trust your opinion, sir." 

For a while, everything is fine. The conversation moves away from you and Hoseok to Seokjin and Sienna. They share news that they have bought a house together, and you all cheer, clinking your glasses in celebration. Even though you can't stand Seokjin, you really like his girlfriend. She is always kind, and never indulge in the the hate fest.  She must see something in your brother that you're blind to, because she seems completely enamored with Seokjin as she leans into him, laughing. 

The food comes quickly, and Hoseok removes his hand from yours so he can be able to eat, leaving you feeling cold. Stuffing your face seems like the best way to avoid having to speak, and so you dive in. Hoseok, on the other hand, savors every bite like it's his last meal. 

"These oysters are too good," Hoseok practically moans, setting your whole body on fire. 

"So, Hoseok," you mum says, drawing the attention of the whole table. "Did you know you're the first boyfriend _____ introduces us to?" 

"I heard a little rumor about that, yes." You think you can see a fait blush on his neck, but attribute it to the lighting. 

"What do you think, did the problem lay with us, or is she just picky?" You mum puts him on the spot then. 

"Definitely the weirdo over there," Seokjin nods his head towards you, and you roll your eyes. 

"As far as I'm aware," Hoseok says loudly, sending a wide smile towards your brother, "the problem isn't around this table, but rather out there. My guess is she didn't deem them good enough to bring home." 

Seokjin snorts. "And you are?" 

"He is," you say, glaring at your brother. If he wasn't sitting so far away, you would kick him under the table. Picking on you is one thing, but to be like that to someone innocent you bring for them to meet? That's too low, even for Seokjin. 

"Oh I don´t know about that." Hoseok shakes his head, sending you a calm smile. 

"Do you have any siblings, Hoseok?" Sienna interferes. 

"I have an older sister. She's married now, so technically I have a brother as well?" 

"What about your parents?" your dad asks. 

"They're living in a nearby small town. I don't get to see them as often as I'd like, but it's fine with the technology we have today. They're nothing compared to you, though. I have heard some quite impressive things," he says, eyeing your mother. "I think I should ask your autograph after dinner." Your mum flushes, her laugh high pitched. 

"You're flattering me! I'm nothing - at least not anymore." 

"Don't be modest, mum," Seokjin mutters, his lips around his glass. "I remember some of those dinners when we were younger." 

"You were quite the catch, my dear," you dad says, kissing your mum´s hand. 

Some more meaningless conversation follows. The weather, the company and the promotion for your brother. You only sit and watch, glancing at Hoseok every so often, always catching him with a smile. Then, the einevitable happens - you're brought up again. 

"Hoseok?" Seokjin asks quietly, gaining your attention, but not your parents´ attention. "Tell me, why my sister?" 

"What…?" Hoseok is clearly a little startled. "What do you mean?" 

"Why do you want her? I'm sorry to say, but she doesn't seem to be on your… level." This is the moment, you think. This is the moment where every little thing you have done wrong in your life comes back to you. 

"What's not to like?" Hoseok asks your brother directly, his smile gone now. You could kiss Hoseok, honestly. 

"_____ tells us you're at the top of your class, Hoseok" you dad says suddenly, not having heard your conversation. "Maybe you should tutor her. Help her raise her grade a little bit," he suggest. The worst thing is, you can tell he is genuine in his suggestion. There isn't anything mean about it, he just wants you to become better. However, coming from him, directed at your pretend boyfriend, it's horrifying. You're embarrassed, and you really wish you could burst into flames. No, you really wish you could have a moment to cry. 

Hoseok´s smile fades again, and you grab his hand to tell him it's ok. His smile returns. "What do you think," Hoseok turns to you, smiling kindly.

"Some help would be great," you grit out. 

"There you go! Maybe things will get a little easier now," your dad smiles, raising his glass. "I didn't know what type of man you could find for yourself, but Hoseok seems like a good man." 

Using all your strength to hold yourself back from doing something you'll regret, you stand up and excuse yourself to the bathroom. First Seokjin, then your dad? You must have done something horrible to deserve this. 

And you know that leaving Hoseok alone is a pretty shitty thing to do, but it's better than staying here and crying in front of everyone. Walking in the opposite direction is the only thing you feel is right, and so you do. Your eyes land on a bathroom sign, the arrow pointing in the direction you just came from. Great. Instead of turning around, you notice the bar. The universe is telling something, isn't it? 

You order two shots. As you wait you focus on anything other than this moment right here: butterflies; your favorite song; the book you just read; a kiss goodbye. Finally you feel stable enough in your emotions, and down the shots. Then, you finally make your way back to the table of hell. As you approach, Hoseok turns in his seat, clearly waiting for your return. He stands up, analyzing you now. You manage to give him a smile, which he returns tenth folds. 

Leaning in, he presses his lips to your temple. "Say the word and I'll make up an excuse and get us out of here." 

When he breaks away, you give him a pointed look, and he nods. 

"Actually," Hoseok turns to the table with an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry to cut this meeting short, but my sister just texted me; she needs the car. Apparently it's a work emergency. It was really nice meeting you all, and thank you so much for dinner," he says, walking around the table. You mum is frowning, but stands up and engulfs him in a hug. Hoseok shakes your dad's and Seokjin´s hand before receiving a hug from Sienna as well. "I hope we get to do this again soon." 

"Thanks for dinner, see you later," you say, grabbing Hoseok´s hand and walk out of the restaurant as quickly as your feet will take you. 

Once in the car, you let out a heavy breath. It wasn't great, but you have to remind yourself that it could have been so much worse. You could have actually cried… 

With some embarrassment lingering, you sink down in the car, covering your face. "I'm so sorry for leaving you, and I'm so sorry for everything they said." 

"It's fine." 

"No, it's really wasn't. I should-" 

Hoseok cuts you off. "It's fine. I'm not the one who should receive an apology after that dinner." 

Hoseok starts the car and drives off. For a while it's silent, the two of taking in what just happened. 

"Is it always like this?"

"I have a name for it: hate fest," you try and lighten the mood, to no avail. "When I tell my friends about it, I don't think they actually understand how bad it is." 

"How can they? Even I didn't think it would like that," Hoseok tells you. 

"Sorry I brought you." 

"Can I say something? It might be out of line…" You nod, but Hoseok catches it. "You should stand up for yourself. No one should treat you like that, especially your own family." 

"I'm the worst one in the family, they're just disappointed in me." You really don't know why you're making excuses for them. 

"Doesn't matter, they didn't show you any kindness. Anyway, it's up to you." Hoseok shrugs. He stops at a red light and turns to you. "Do you have to go home right away, or do you have two hours to spare?" 

"What for?" 

"My grandma used to take me to the cinema when I felt down. Thought it might help cheer you up, only if you're up for it." 

You watch him, a warm feeling spreading in your chest. Usually you have to be the one to reach out and ask for company when you're down. Hoseok wanting to this for you feels foreign, but just the thought of it lightens your mood. 

"Yes please," you say. "That would be nice." 

Before you know it, the two of you are sitting in an almost empty cinema, the movie playing. You wonder how much Hoseok planed for this, because currently playing is one of the saddest movies you have watched. Ever since in the middle of the movie, you have been crying your eyes out, letting out emotions you didn't even know you had. It would be embarrassing if Hoseok could see you, but in the darkness, you're sure he can't see you. After the movie - and the much needed cry session - ended, you dry your tears on the sleeve as Hoseok conveniently turns away to collect the wrappers from the snacks he purchased. Together the two of you make your way outside, the world now turned dark. 

"Thank you for that," you say once in the car. 

"I hope you're feeling better." 

"All thanks to you." 

For the rest of the ride you stay silent, only watching as you drive past your hometown. Once at your apartment, Hoseok follows you all the way to your front door, where you once again turn to each other, Hoseok sending you a warm smile. How many of those does he have? "Let me know if you need anything, alright? You have my number." 

You nod. 

"How could I ever repay you?" you ask, to which Hoseok wraps his arms around your shoulders and holds you tight. You melt in his embrace, sighing contently. It feels like eternity, but at the same time it feels like only a second has gone by. Surrounded by the smell of Hoseok, your feelings have nowhere to go. The urge to have his lips on your resurfaces, strengthened by all he has done for you today. Every little touch, every little act of service comes to your mind, and it's almost as if your heart sings out for him, drawing your whole body with it. When Hoseok lets you go, the look on his face tells you everything. He is feeling everything you are. Still, he step away slowly, almost as if it pains him. 

"I better go," he whispers. You don't want him to go. You want to have everything he has to give you. Anything… Stay, you almost say. Before you can muster the courage, he walks away. 

"Fuck it," you whisper to yourself and walk after him. "Hoseok?" You call softly, making him turn around. Before you can change your mind, you stand on your tippy-toes, bring your hand to his cheek and press you lips to his. It's firmer than last night, and you can feel so much more of his lips. A second passes before Hoseok reacts, him pulling you closer. Then it's over, and all you see is his bright smile. "Good night, Hoseok." 

This time you're the one walking away, and in the glass door you see him watching you, a goofy smile still on his face. 

[anon-spliffy]

imagine tearing your vagina open the first time you have sex. Here's the story of how I lost my virginity.

Okay so, it's March 2022, I meet a cute guy on Facebook Dating. I don't know what I'm looking for but I dive head straight on into it. Now, this boy is sweet, soft, and most importantly, loving. At first, I don't really think about the four-hour distance. This guy won't stick around---or maybe I won't.

I can't help but fall in love with this man. He's always there and dries every tear. When I get shy about my body, by the time he's done with me--I feel like Aphrodite.

Now that I'm in love, I think about maybe having sex with him someday. Listen, I've never been super into sex or the idea of actually having a penis inside me. Curious about sexual things? Yeah, I know what I'm into. But there's one thing above all that holds me back--I've been this tall skinny boy's penis and I know that is not going to fit. With absolute certainty.

Finally, after months, I finally meet this boy. The moment we make it back to my apartment, clothes are off. We do the deed for maybe like a minute before he's like "wait, that's a lot of blood".

And you know what, it really was a lot of blood. It really was a lot of blood, but I've never had sex before so I was pretty confused about whether or not this was normal.

I immediately went to the shower, this boy wanted to be in there with me so he sat on the toilet for thirty minutes--listening to me say "what the fuck" every five seconds.

The bleeding isn't stopping--in fact, it's starting to get worse. I know enough to understand that this isn't normal by the next morning. I'm bleeding through everything within just a few minutes. I'm starting to feel sick and weak. Signs of blood loss.

Now, you're probably thinking why the fuck is this dumb bitch not going to the hospital? I live in the USA, healthcare ain't shit and it's hella expensive so I'm holding out. Maybe this is one giant period and will eventually stop on its own.

It's around 5pm that day that I change my mind. I'm not feeling the best, I'm weak but still standing. I'm at my breakfast bar packing my daily bowl with my boyfriend and then all of a sudden I'm waking up with my ears ringing on the floor.

Maybe I'm fine.

Then it happens again.

And again.

As I'm laying on the floor, bleeding out from my fucking vagina, I decide to call my sister and ask her to take me to the hospital. Immediately she's on her way to come to get me. Now, during this, my boyfriend is being the perfect paramedic. He's keeping me feeling calm and safe. He doesn't want to leave my side.

I only get off the floor when my sister arrives. This man helps me down the stairs and into the car. He sits between two baby car seats to be able to come with me. This man's dedication was everything.

We get to the ER--and I can barely stand so they put me in a wheelchair. Then they ask me to pee in a cup, which puts extra stress on me because I'm a pot smoker. But I end up not being able to pee in a cup--thank baby jesus.

I end up in a room full of male nurses--an IV to give me fluids. It was a lot. But I had to tell everyone what had happened. I lost my virginity, which is supposed to be this magical moment, and this fucking shit happens. So there I am, my first public appearance as a 'changed woman' with my legs propped open, vagina open to the public apparently, and a giant speculum shoved inside me.

This doctor says this in the most nonchalant way ever. "Looks like you have two tears inside your vagina. Try and use more lube. We need the gyno."

This is an American hospital so the doctor takes two hours to get to my room. I'm waiting and bleeding out-- no one knows what to do.

But this gyno was actually really cool. He made someone run up to another floor to get a small speculum because I mentioned that the one before was painful. Of course, we waited a while for that too. He wanted to make sure that I was okay--you know emotionally. He asked if he needed to speak to the boy who did this to me. I told him I was okay and this would never happen again.

He gave me some ointment to stop the bleeding and sent me on my way.

That's how I lost my virginity.