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#so im doing what i can without anyones help
hxnbi · 2 days
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⸻ ❀°。❝ SHORT STACK ❞
requested by @kuppuru: furin boys + togame with short reader
pairings. hajime umemiya, hayato suo, haruka sakura, ren kaji, kyotaro sugishita, jo togame x gn. reader (separate)
note: tysm for your request! sorry if it took so long to write, i was suffering with exams but im finally free now. this goes to all my fellow short ppl out there 🫡 i also just wanted an excuse to find these goofy photos of my boys lmao
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𝄞 ─ HAJIME UMEMIYA ♪♩ ₊⁺ 𐫱
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What do you mean by that? You’re his significant other and that's all that matters! If anything, that only makes you even more adorable!
UMEMIYA's natural inclination to be clingy and protective intensifies tenfold when he's around you. As you often find yourself enveloped in his arms, whether it's at home, out for a walk, or even at a crowded event. He towers over you, using his height—and admittedly effective intimidation tactics, thanks to him being the leader of Furin—to shield you from the world’s troubles. 
"Up we go!" he jokes, effortlessly picking you up from out of nowhere and spinning you around like a merry-go-round carousel.
“Ume?!” you yelp in surprise.
Without realizing it, his face lights up like a neon sign, and he lets out a loud, joyful laugh. You’re so sweet! How could he not adore you?
Umemiya goes into press his lips against your cheek and buries his face in your neck. "You’re my perfect little charm." His laughter and love are almost infectious. 
Umemiya’s protectiveness doesn’t just stop at physical proximity, but extends to every aspect of your life. He’s always looking out for you, making sure no one dares to mess with you (not that anyone with a half-functioning nervous system would, anyway). Your height didn’t matter and will never matter to him, not when he sees you as his perfect partner and his other half, just the way you are.
𝄞 ─ HAYATO SUO ♪♩ ₊⁺ 𐫱
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Without a doubt in my mind, SUO's a person who's all for teasing you. In fact, he revels in it. Even after calling the relationship official, Suo’s playfulness doesn’t stop. Rather, it only increases with time. Suo is all for teasing you about your height, flaunting his own height difference with that characteristic closed-eye smirk of his.
“Oh dear, do you perhaps need help?” he teases, pointing at something on a high shelf with one hand while the other resting at his back. “Would you like me to get you a ladder?” he asks 'kindly,' making you deadpan.
Suo finds your petite stature irresistibly cute, and he never misses a chance to remind you of it. But, to the surprise of nobody, like everything else in his life, he’s not as shamelessly open about it in public as opposed to in private. Rather, I see Suo bringing your height up when you least expect it, in hopes of getting a reaction from you recorded in his mind.
Though his teasing is always good-natured, Suo knows your boundaries well. He can tell when you're uncomfortable, especially around others. That alone is enough to make Suo's usual mischievous brows furrow, and he stares down whoever dares to cross the line, especially when he's around. His protective instincts kick in without hesitation. That, despite his constant banter, it’s clear that he adores you deeply, his eyes filled with warmth and affection so unlike his public persona that he discloses to the world.
𝄞 ─ HARUKA SAKURA ♪♩ ₊⁺ 𐫱
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Okay, and? What about it? Who the fuck cares? He’ll just deal with anyone if they even dare to give you shit about it. SAKURA's nonchalant attitude towards your height is evident. He couldn't care less what others think, and he's ready to put anyone in their place if they dare to give you any trouble about it.
"If anyone has a problem with your height, they’ll have to deal with me," he barked, a protective arm around your shoulders. "And trust me, they won't like it.”
Nirei and Suo could only deadpan in unison seeing this. ‘He’s just a big softie…’ they both thought.
Regardless, his feelings for you don’t change. Sakura has also been through a lot. The people who berated and made fun of him due to things he didn’t have control over—his unconventional appearance—why do they care? Why should someone ever care? He understands how it feels to be judged for superficial reasons and is fiercely protective of you because of it. As for you? You felt warm, knowing he always has your back. 
Your height has nothing to do with who you are as a person, and he’s learning that, step by step. He’s always ready to defend you, ensuring you never have to go through the pain and ridicule he did, and not just because of your height, something you never had a peace or sovereignty over. Perhaps, he sees a bit of himself in you.
𝄞 ─ REN KAJI ♪♩ ₊⁺ 𐫱
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Doesn't treat you any differently. And why should he? Is there some kind of top-secret reason that he's unaware of? Why should such a thing as height matter in his relationship? Dude grills his vice-captain Kusumi to get the full story, until he realizes that there is none. Tch, do you think he cares about bullcrap like that? Well suck it up, you shouldn't and never have to worry about such an outrageous thing.
KAJI continues to be his calm and composed self (when he isn’t blasting music until his ears bled), offering you the same level of respect and affection as always. Because, after all, "Why would your height change anything about how I feel?" he scoffed, putting back his headphones and closing the conversation right there, making you crack a smile at how matter-of-fact he was. 
Kaji’s grounded nature makes you feel secure. Height, weight, appearance, all those superficial aspects of a person doesn’t matter to him. It never did, because you never judged him for how he was. All he's doing is returning the favour to the one he one he loves, nothing more.
…So why are you looking at him with those sparkling eyes like he just found a cure for cancer?
𝄞 ─ KYOTARO SUGISHITA ♪♩ ₊⁺ 𐫱
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SUGISHITA is in the same boat as Kaji, and, in actuality, it’s even more pronounced, as, while Sugishita doesn’t say a word, he’s quietly observant. Your height is just another characteristic to him that he loves in you, nothing that affects his feelings or how he treats you.
He is but a silent trooper that stands at your side.  Admittedly, it gets funny at times, seeing the difference in height between you and Sugishita, apparently especially when walking side by side. But he doesn’t mind. To him, your height is just another thing that makes you uniquely you. And all with a stoic grunt and a subtle smile that he tries to hide, but the hearts in his eyes don’t disappear with such that. 
“They’re so cute, aren’t they? You just have to show it!!” Umemiya says. And show it, he does.
The way Sugishita pats your head and cheeks, similar to how Umemiya would to the same to him, is his way of expressing affection—all in the most awkward way possible, as Sakura would scoff while the trio of Suo, Nirei, and him would from a distance. 
“...The hell is he doing? Does he treat them like a puppy or something?"
“S-Sakura-san!! Y-You might want to—”
All Sugishita would see was red, and it wasn't just from Suo's hair. "YOU—"
But don’t let that fool you. The end was anything but pleasant, as yet another chair became a victim of Sugishita’s wrath, and was broken that exact day, much to the dismay of Umemiya. 
𝄞 ─ JO TOGAME ♪♩ ₊⁺ 𐫱
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TOGAME's initial reaction to your height is one of surprise, with the way he would stare and drill holes into your skull, genuinely amazed at how someone could be so short and yet so oblivious, like you didn’t have a care in the world. But his curious stare quickly transforms into admiration. At first, you really thought that he was judging you, from the way his eyes would stare down at you for seemingly uncomfortable amounts of time, but to Togame, it was nothing more than fascination. You were so petite (to him), to the point of being even adorable… 
Togame ran his fingers through his locks of hair. Shit, if you ever knew.
His best friend Choji is a bit on the shorter side, sure, but you? You were like some kind of tiny sprite. Unbeknownst to you, he finds your petite stature almost endearing in a way. And unintentionally or not, takes it as an opportunity to be even more attentive and caring over you. Togame’s affection is shown through his actions, whether it's reaching for items you can’t, or holding your hand protectively in crowded places. Whether it’s out of a sense of curiosity or if he truly loves you, one thing is clear, he can't help but show his affection in every little gesture.
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©hxnbi. comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated ♡
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whimsyfinny · 21 hours
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.
Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut
Warnings: language
Chapter Word Count: 2288
—-MDNI—-
A/N: AHHHHHHHHH IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ITS NOT EVEN A SPICEY CHAPTER… I hope it’s ok! Let me know of any errors as I’m the only proof reader .
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Please read the below:
Prologue Chapter 1
Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Chapter 8pt1
Chapter 8pt2
Chapter 9
I’m Not Your F*cking Maid
Chapter 10
I stood in the kitchen over the stove, the smell of bacon tickling my nose as it sizzled in the pan. Watching the fat and grease splutter, my mind replayed the rapturous events of last night with every tantalising memory bringing heat to my skin and fluttering to my pulse. The simple thought of Deans hands on me set my whole body aflame. Not to mention that I woke up in his room, in his arms, listening to his soft breathing as he slept peacefully - not a single crease between his brows as he slumbered unburdened. I had crept out, not wanting to torment myself by staying by his side until he awoke.
I had eaten breakfast alone; neither of the boys rising early enough for us to eat together, so I tucked in whilst the food was still hot. I was a mixture of grateful and ungrateful in this instance. Grateful, because I could be left alone with my sinful thoughts - and ungrateful, because I didn’t want to be left alone with my sinful thoughts. They were driving me insane, spinning around and around inside my head. I desperately needed to remind myself that Dean Winchester was an insufferable jackass who seemed to be making it his life’s mission to get under my skin. And I couldn’t let him.
Oh Bobby, if you could see me now, you’d be so disappointed in my life choices…
I had just tidied the kitchen and placed the food in the fridge when I heard the front door open and close and I made my way to the main room - Charlie appearing at the top of the stairs wielding half a dozen shopping bags.
“Good morning bitches!” She beamed as she began making her way down, right as Sam and Dean strode in, sleep weighing on their features. I opened my mouth to respond but my gaze snagged on Dean, who was already looking at me and my words evaporated in my mouth. We stared at each other, both of us with a sort of dumbfounded look about our faces. Charlie stepped next to me, looking between us.
“I said… good morning bitches! No? Anyone?”
Without saying a word I grabbed her hand through the countless loops of shopping bag handles and dragged her through the bunker until we reached my room. I pushed her through the door and slammed it behind us, leaving the frenzy in the hallway as we looked at each other in silence. I huffed out a sigh, running my hands through my hair before cupping my cheeks. She dropped the bags and sat on the edge of my bed.
“What’s going on with you? Are you ok? You see-”
“I fucked Dean.”
“No!”
“Twice.”
“NO!”
I nodded and sat next to her as she jumped up, a wild look on her face.
“You fucked the guy you beat the shit out of?”
I nodded again, biting my lip and cringing.
“I thought you hated him?”
“I do. I mean, I don’t hate him. He just infuriates me so much.”
She pauses for a second, smirking and raising her brows as she sits down beside me.
“Was it good?”
I closed my eyes and breathed out, memories flooding my brain.
“Oh my God Charlie you have no idea…” I crisscross my legs and face her, and she does the same. We look like a couple of teenage girls talking about our high school crushes at a sleepover.
“That good?”
“It was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. He’s ruined me,” I sighed as I saw her wicked expression, her gaze flitting between myself and the shopping bags abandoned on the floor.
“What?”
She picked up one of the bags and plunged her hand in, fishing around for a second before pulling out an outfit. There were… bunny ears?
OH
A slutty bunny outfit was thrown onto the bed, the bodysuit crafted with expertise and soft black velvet, with shaping-bones ascending the bodice and plush padding in the bra cups. The white cuffs were made of soft, pressed cotton, and amongst it all I spotted a little fluffy tail.
“Why have you bought me a Playboy outfit?” I raised an eyebrow, unable to stop myself from finding out if the tail was as soft as it looked. It was. Charlie beamed.
“Because the girls at this club are known for their irresistible aesthetic. You’ll need to blend in. But don’t worry,” she gestured to the other bags, “if you don’t want to be a bunny I bought you more.”
“Of course they wear outfits…” I groaned, knowing that the boys will never let me live this down.
“Plus…” Charlie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “now that I know you’re FINALLY getting laid, you can actually put these towards their intended use.”
I smirked and threw a pillow at her.
“Oh yeah? And when was the last time you got laid?”
She rolled off the bed dramatically before throwing the pillow back at me.
“A lady never tells!”
“Bullshit!” I laughed, before grabbing the outfit off the covers and headed to the bathroom to try it on.
*
The afternoon passed by quickly, most of it spent trying on those ridiculous outfits that Charlie had bought for me. I must have tried on a dozen, ranging from ‘let’s only cover flaps and nips,’ to ‘you’re gonna need x-ray vision’. I went for something in between, not too scandalous but enough skin on show to get the wolves howling. Charlie lounged around on my bed reading comics and muttering to herself whilst I busied away getting ready, doing my hair and makeup and quadruple checking that this ridiculous outfit wasn’t going to spontaneously explode off my body. Overall the whole ordeal took around five hours from start to finish - six if you include lunch and coffee breaks, and six and a half hours if you took into account all the occasions that Deans ego led him to believe that we ‘might need a mans opinion’ on the matter. Said ego had many a door slammed in his face.
Evening had rolled around and I pulled a long coat over myself - another gift from Charlie - making sure that it covered everything not meant for outside a club environment. Or Comic Con, actually, because I eventually learnt that Charlie had purchased this particular outfit from a cosplay website. It explained a lot to be honest. From the quality fabric to the delicate lace trims and tiny petticoats, it was made to a much higher standard than anything else she’d brought with her. Adorning the final touch upon my head, I exited my room before joining the others in the research room, my heels clicking softly on the hard floor.
Upon arrival, all eyes were on me. On my face, my cloaked body, my exposed calves and heeled feet. It was like every other gaze in this room was trying to see through the wool of the overcoat concealing the surprise beneath; a present to be unwrapped… a meal to be devoured. I wasn't sure who to look at, every set of eyes hot with expectation so I chose to study the ribbons on the top of my stilettos, observing in great detail how the fabric shined in the dim lighting. A moment passed before Sam cleared his throat.
“Come on guys, let's get going.”
It should have been Sam that I looked at when I replied, but my eyes were drawn to Dean like a compass to North. His jaw was tight and his eyes dark, as though it pained him to not know what I was wearing. Although he could have been thinking anything really, as we hadn't exactly spoken much since the tantalising events of the previous night and we definitely hadn't spoken about what had happened. I think we were both well aware of the dangerous situation we were putting ourselves in, despite trying to act oblivious to any consequences. We both knew at some point the conversation needed to be had.
“Yes,” I replied to Sam, my voice cracking from the anxiety starting to crawl up my spine, “let's get going before I freeze to death.”
*
The car ride was quiet. Too quiet. Dean was in a weird headspace and didn't crack any of his usual jokes or poke fun at anyone in the car. Sam hadn't made eye contact with me since I gave him the dance, and whenever our eyes met his face erupted into a red-hot blush. Tapping away on her tablet, Charlie paid no mind to any of the silence at first, both of us in the back seat minding our own business. However after a long wait at a red light, she glanced over at me before pulling out her phone and tapped away. It didn't take long for my own phone to vibrate. Retrieving it from my pocket, I opened the message from her.
Chazzie: wtf is going on with you and these guys?
I sighed and wrote my reply.
Me: it's a long story… and tbh I didn't give you all the details about me and Dean…
Chazzie: bitch this is a long drive, tell me! I know Sam won't look at you and Dean won't STOP looking at you. And I know Dean, he's normally a ‘no strings’ kinda guy. But bitch you've got that man on a leash.
I sighed again, throwing her a look before giving in and typing away.
Me: so Dean made me annoyed and told me I would be no good for this mission because he doubted I could even do a basic lap dance. Well, it ground my gears so yesterday evening I put on some music and gave a lap dance to prove my point.
Chazzie: ooh I bet he was in heaven, I remember when you took those classes! You were soooo good <3
Me: awww thanks babes <3 but I didn't give the dance to Dean… I danced for Sam…
I heard her choke on her own spit as she read the message and she threw me a disbelieving look.
Chazzie: WHAT?! Why Sam?! I mean it explains why he won't look at you. But whhhyyy? When you've already fucked D-boi?
Me: tbh I was mad at Dean and I wanted him to suffer. Plus I had a point to prove, he needed to be able to see the show to know I was good.
Chazzie: I mean that's true! How did he take it when you danced for Sam?
Me: tbh I don't think he was best impressed at first, but then I think he just enjoyed the show. … I do feel a bit bad for Sam tho for dragging him into his. I feel bad for using him.
Chazzie: don't! I can tell he loved every minute of it from the permanent blush on his face hehehe. You're a wicked woman tho. Really torturing those boys. How long did it take for Dean to come to your room?
Me: ughhh don’t even joke… you make me sound like I'm in some shitty YA novel… and technically he didn't come to my room. I bumped into him in the corridor. Then he told me he ‘couldn't stop thinking about me’. The we made out and then we eventually fucked in my room.
Chazzie: Welp somehow you've made Dean Winchester your bitch. Gold medal for you, because I've seen soooo many girls try and fail. So did he wake up in your room or did he go back to his? Because this is fucking important.
I looked at her and felt my face heat up, a grin appearing on her face as she playfully smacked my arm.
Chazzie: bitch seriously?! He stayed the night?!
Me: technically no… my sheets were ruined so we slept in his bed instead …
Before anymore texts could be exchanged, I felt the car slow to a stop and the handbrake engaged, engine flicking off. Dean turned to face us, doing a double take over my blushing expression and Charlie's wild grin. He mumbled something under his breath about this making him nervous before he faced forward again and Sam turned around instead, his soft gaze scanning my made-up eyes and lips.
“Are you sure you're ok with this (Y/n)? Because it's still ok for you to back out now if you want.”
The older Winchester tore his gaze away from the lone two-storey building before us; its neon lights reflecting in the puddles on the pavement. Two guys in leather jackets stood outside, and I'm assuming they were security. Dean's expression turned to one of unease as he surveyed the club from a distance.
“Exactly what Sammy said. (Y/n) this is dangerous and I don't want you going in there. Back out now.”
I couldn't help but scoff and roll my eyes.
“I've not gotten this far and this fucking dressed up to give up now. Besides, my safety isn't as important as the safety of the civilians who are at risk of leaving these vamps even a day longer. You know that. That's why we do this job-”
“Look, your safety is all I give a shit about.”
Dean's assertiveness came as a slight shock, not just to myself but to him as well. We blinked at each other before I turned to Charlie.
“Do you have the paperwork and ID I need to get in?” I heard Dean sigh and turn back to face the steering wheel, cursing under his breath. Without saying another word, I took the envelope from Charlie's grasp and flung the door to the impala open, clambered out and slammed the door behind me.
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@suckitands33 @jackles010378 @aliceeinwonderland420 @tina-theslytherin @deans-queen @hobby27 @sobearcowboy @girls-alias @selfdestructionandrhum @ericasabe @lacilou @littlemadamred @anneanirac @deans-baby-momma @swimregulas @ashdoctor @littlemarvelstan8 @atcamillanorrman @deangirl96 @zannemes @kr804573 @foxyjwls007 @divadinag @cookiemonstermusic258 @mysterialee @ababy-girl @joonseuph0ria @mxltifxnd0m @deans-spinster-witch @st4bl3-ch40s @feyresqueen @roseblue373 @clusterfuck-meup @urinternetmom @rachiem4-blog @ceeshellecee @mojos-hidden-castle @snowayumi @evzyi @mymuseisbipolar @magssteenkamp @koharuheartfilia @spookyysinsanity @safiyas-world @uncle-eggy @happyt0exist @supernaturalstilinski @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mrsjenniferwinchester
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burying-brightness · 2 months
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oozeandgoo-art · 6 months
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had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.
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#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading#oc#im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people#im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though#besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol#sketch#god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking#colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING#and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement#it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it#put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead#ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it#the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does#rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you''#however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here.#includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares#which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down#and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that...#(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL)#seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.
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bugbuoyx · 8 months
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trans fucking WIN today i am now legally daniel and a guy!
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problemcore · 2 months
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hiiii halfway? thru the story. hard as hell to avoid spoilers online i need to stay away 😭 rant in tags, spoilers for 2.2 . i already reached 30 tags wow 💀
#chris noises#hsr#spoilers ahead ->#///////////////////////////////////////////////#ROBIIIIIIINNNNN WAAAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭#her unwavering love and belief in humans to survive against all odds.......#her inherent kindness and desire to help everyone#SHE IS HARMONY !!! THATS WHAT HARMONY IS ALL ABOUTTT !!!!!#i love sunday but he's Slightly pissing me off rn#is this really what you believe in..... that the weak must die so the strong can live... that its the only way for life to continue....#can't wait to beat him up later lol#AGHHH I LOVE YOU SUNDAY BUT YOU MAKE ME SO CONFLICTED !!!!!!#oh the gallagher stuff was so interesting....... the memory zone memes being his Pets. thats funny#i love you gallagher im sorry i called you ugly a few updates ago....#cant even begin to talk about firefly.... genuinely lights up my world everytime she's on screen#BLADIEEE THE BLADIE CAMEO????#STELLARON HUNTERS ARE SUCH A FAMILYYYYYYYYYY WAAAAAAA#acheron and black swan 🥹 i love how black swan is Terrified of her and yet constantly looks out for her#girl Me Too...#acheron agh the heartache you bring me. girl i will get you ibuprofen i promise.#dan heng 💜💜💜💜💜💜 no complaints as usual. perfect boy. im so glad he's out of his depressive episode so we can see him on penacony 😭😭#boothill.#i have nothing to say about him.#did i miss anyone....#mm OH MISHA. MY SON. i cannot wait to see how it will all connect back to him#he IS connected to mikhail. no doubt in my heart#i wonder if after this update he'll finally board the express .... my son my boy....#im so excited to see jing yuan later#and.... aaaahhhhhh my wife the love of my life. aventurine come back home i miss you#its been a month im experiencing wife withdrawal (<- copyrighted michael egotokill material do not use without express permission)
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anti-transphobia · 2 months
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What it's like being a narcissist in a group chat with other narcissists
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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stonyponyofficial · 1 year
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i love seeing how much paratext i can fit into the tags. read my footnotes boy
#violet originals#postposting#like that's its own statement right#and then i come down here and tell u everything i was thinking about it#like i just made a post where i put some non organization tags on it for fun as a fun reference#but also it helps clarify the original statement in a less committal jokey way i can have a little fun with#so i start thinking about all that and i get the hilarious original idea for this post and i think abt those tags#but it's only available to those first people who see my original post as it was made#not reblogged#someone can screenshot those tags but they aren't necessary to understand#but they don't add to the post itself just elaboration that isn't really needed#and they aren't all visible at first bc u have to hit the button to see the rest#so my extra little thoughts are there for anyone to see but ull probably wanna see them more if u know me a little through online#but mostly i thought it'd be funny to make this kind of post and then just let the tags run wild bc that's what the post is about see?#do u like all this extra clarification or would u rather i have just posted the post#or nothing at all#or put these tags in the post#bc that could make sense but the original text of the post is to be shared around and 'related to' by other Tumblr users who do the same#so it can't be too long but i need to say all my thoughts about the subject or ill explode and make another post or reblog a comment#so it's all down here instead where it's optional and i can just kinda say what im feeling without feeling like i have to funny it up#i should probably read house of leaves#idk is that related i only have a tiny idea of what that book is but it seems related somewhat#umm#hi :3#kisses u with tongue#adds tags to this later bc im silly :3#hi char hi io#the two people who will probably read this far now lmao
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meloartist · 15 days
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Yeah, I also want to see 2 season, especially Destiny and my favorite Delirium, but I'm also curius who will play Remiel and Duma.
[i think this ask was pre-s2 announcement bc 2022 but YEAH]
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i'm a HUUUUUUUUUGE duma stan you dont even KNOW
#sandman#the sandman#duma#asks#answers#continuing my trend of answering asks from 2022#anyway im on my duma sign language train#i consider duma's domain to be the *concept* of silence. like as an audio phenomenon. that doesnt mean he cant talk!!#i'm glad that in the lucifer comics they respect him and usually seem to be able to understand him without oral speech#potentially bc (per canon) he *can* mentally project what he wants people to know#but i think they missed an opportunity to actually have duma tell lucifer in *words* that he is both deeply loved And a little bitch#like creatures like lucifer know every language so????#(also. signed angel conlang anyone??? with WINGS???)#(actually i think that's impractical since it needs to be usable during flight. but having different forms is also awesome.)#lucking out on this that the sign for me too/same seems to be the same in asl & bsl#ultimately i don't think that duma should need to speak a human signed language at all -- but for clarity idk which to pick you know?#considering that this is an english-speaking comic with a british writer with a largely american audience#*probably* asl bc i am american and don't want to mix myself up but#anyway if you are a native speaker of asl. if i ever do more comics with duma and others i Will need help#i know a few asl words but i do Not have a good grasp of grammar#so please feel free to correct or suggest or dm me idk !! i really want to interact w the d/Deaf community more#always open to language critique#and i kind of would love help designing angel sign conlang. bc the concept of duma giving lucifer a name sign lives in my head forever#fwiw i'm fully on the duma/lucifer qpp train by the way. like duma has been PINING.
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autisticlee · 16 days
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me: has no clue how people work or how to interact with them correctly and has mostly negative experiences
also me: tries to help and teach other people how to interact with people
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lionblaze03-2 · 1 month
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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yourcalamity · 7 days
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its getting very hard not to feel like everyone i know would be better off without me
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orcelito · 2 months
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It's a little funny. I spend so much time compartmentalizing that I convince myself I'm totally fine, of course, all the time.
But when I was filling out the questionnaire before my therapy appointment yesterday, it was like
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.... OK yea maybe I have some problems
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Also this one 😂😂😂
#speculation nation#it's ok i am now in therapy and we have weekly appointments set up#i havent always had the best experiences with therapy. and by that i mean it has never really been helpful to me#mostly tho bc it's been depression therapists. and i dont actually have depression.#what i DO have is trauma! and barely managed adhd and fibromyalgia.#and especially grief trauma in the past 5 years. oh God do i have grief trauma.#but i searched Specifically for a grief therapist with this. so she should be equipped to properly help me.#ive managed to reach an okay place regarding my old traumas. but this stuff. man it's hard.#i pushed myself to a near panic attack the other day upon realizing the painting i have is an authentic lithograph#& the realization that i am carrying the mantle of several generations of my family now.#most of the generations above me are now dead. so it's up to us to carry on their memories#and i am The One who is unapologetically incredibly tacky. up to me to carry that legacy.#it's pressure. weight that i didnt want. but i dont want to ignore it bc i dont want them to be forgotten.#so im hoping that with therapy. she can help me sort things out so it's less... difficult.#help me remember them without being paralyzed with panic and dread.#and maybe help me with my death paranoia...? 😅 i dont like feeling like anyone in my life could die at any time.#inevitable after my uncle died with only a month's warning and my dad died with barely more than a day's warning.#idk. for someone whose will to live comes from the people i love. it's rather paralyzing.#just gotta cling to the people i have left. and hold them dear.#negative/#kinda but not really. tagging just in case considering the subject matter.#idk im just trying to sort things out. no one goes through this many sudden deaths without a severe complex over it.#but. im in therapy now. and im trying. i am.
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quietwingsinthesky · 4 months
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“It’s like you kicked a big hole in the side of my life.” things even would say if they met the doctor After-
#askfjglsjkf its. coalescing. im putting the pieces together of where their story goes.#and one solid piece is that. the doctor is their best friend in the whole wide world. and they kind of hate him for that.#because without him. what would they know about friends. or the universe beyond their ship.#he blew a hole in their life and gave them the best gift anyone possibly could and. if they could look at the whole of their life.#if they could see all of it at once. they would be happier that he did. despite everything.#but people can’t do that. they’re fresh out of the worst experience anyone could have. and they never would have been in that situation if#not for him. (and worse - might never have been freed again. if not for him. it stings to be saved twice when you’re regretting the first#time.)#and so they blame him for it. (it was their own fault. their own choice to run rather than face the consequences of their actions - however#well-intentioned.) (but at the same time. where’d they pick that skill up from huh?)#and they hate him for it too. a little. a lot. it varies.#and they still have the watch. the one they can never return to its rightful owner anymore. and they still have the beads of their#friendship bracelet - the bracelet itself long since broken. it was. after all. authentically cheap.#and he was their best friend. and they love him. and they hate him. and it probably doesn’t help that they’ve spent the past however long#being influenced by someone who had an investment in fucking up their remaining attachment to the doctor.#god i wish this show would stop making me ramble about my silly oc just because i hears a single line aksjfkjfls#or not. never stop doctor who my beloved.#dw oc#dw#dw lb#dw 8x07
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xannerz · 10 months
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been on the verge of a boohoo sesh all day reee
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