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#so im hoping that might help a little?
bunnymedley · 1 year
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everyone pray for me to get this job on monday btw
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puppyeared · 3 months
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months
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love like you / maternal pang
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bonus under cut:
the first stephanie + the maternal pang tone destroyer i couldn't include bc it's a serious comic
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#you might wanna zoom in for this one sorry#anyway i think putty likes orel. not enough to really get off his ass and help him but there's a fondness there#and i think his position of power relative to the rest of the town could be helpful in influencing things if he like. believed in them more#but he doesn't really expect any better from himself or the rest of moralton and i think it's because he doesn't really believe goodness is#attainable esp by christian/biblical standards. he thinks it's kind of a pretense for everyone. but then stephanie is good so what does tha#say about him? or moralton? i think he'd get a bit better with her around.#it'd make him insecure but she's an encouraging type so. maybe he'd get there eventually#we don't get to see much of that but eh. i think this show is hopeful at the end of the day. i don't think moralton WOULD change much but i#Could change a little. um. anyway that's what this comic is about lol#also im in love with stephanie. so.#moral orel#orel puppington#rod putty#reverend putty#stephanie putty#skrunkart#sorry if the models are kinda inconsistent i haven't drawn these fellers before#it's occurring to me that this is probably the longest comic i've posted on here? just by panel number anyway#which like. moral orel deserves it but that's kinda surprising because i've certainly made longer stuff before#but it's mostly oc stuff from like 3 years ago i never posted and don't really plan on posting#i guess i just tend to stick to gags or quick emotional punches and this is a more lengthy character exploration#which i tend to save for fics. but it's winter break so i've got the time. maybe that's it#this was supposed to be a quick thing where i got to draw stephanie what happened. anyway more moral orel stuff on the way but sheesh#this one kinda got away from me is all. but i like it :)#also full disclosure i forgot to go back and figure out stephanie's tattoos and i don't care enough to. sorry steph ily but im done#also btw i DO think most of moralton are true believers they're just like. assholes/hypocritical. they're godfearing but lazy when it comes#to ACTUALLY helping people (or otherwise let self interest get in the way leading to loopholes etc)#sorry i haven't written about the show before so the meta analysis/interpretation is leaking in#does moral orel have an abbreviation? it's a pretty short name so maybe not. i think moror would be cute :)#also i discovered i can do half-tones on firealpaca so i wanted to try it out :3
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sluckythewizard · 4 months
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had this thought rotating in my mind since arthur had to wear that Anti-Sun disguise. and well. now u see it too
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satansxknitwear · 1 year
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Still swingin' 🌻😎
✨My links✨
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ganondoodle · 17 days
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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itty-bitty-sunshine · 6 months
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I know this is random but reading your blog and seeing your art made me so motivated I made my 1st animation ever (not counting pixel art ones), after not drawing digitally in months and it looks kinda basic and it isn't colored but I made it and I'm really happy with it so I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for motivating me to make digital art again! I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)
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MKJSJWJW HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME THATS GREAT!!! Animatics need time and patience so the fact you went straight for it is so cool!!!! I bet it looks lovely!
Hope you have the greatest day/night too!
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harmonizewithechoes · 1 month
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My five year old has his very first day of kindergarten tomorrow 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t expect to be hit with such a huge wave of emotions but I’ve been a WRECK all day
#personal#he’s so excited#we’ve been talking about school for so long and he’s so excited that it’s finally here!#and a little nervous too he said but he keeps asking about the other kids and if he gets to have lots of friends now#he really liked his teacher when he met her and he’s excited to see her#the only thing that tripped him up a little was when I told him that me and his daddy are bringing him to the school but we can’t go with#that he has to just listen to his teacher and we’ll see him after school 🥺#I’m mostly worried that he’s not going to get enough food at school because he doesn’t eat very fast at home#he doesn’t focus well on meals#I’m hoping that positive peer pressure helps him with that#if he sees the other kids eating he will hopefully follow their lead#he’s going to be taking the bus home as well and I’m nervous about that for him too#even though it’s silly because his bus will pick him up in the morning and bring him directly to the school and then drop him off first#after school#he’ll be on it for maybe 20 minutes each day#I just worry too much#i worry about how issues he might have that I can’t help with like what if it’s too cold in just one room#but I don’t know that and send him in shorts?#or what if he gets teased for things I can’t anticipate right now? how can I best set him up for success with his peers?#I only know what he likes not what other five year olds like#I don’t want him to feel like the odd one out#but maybe that’s inevitable at some point#I can’t protect him from the world if im not there 😔#that’s the hardest thing about it#obviously this is supposed to happen and school will be so good for him#but he was a tiny little baby just yesterday#at least that’s how it feels#they say it goes by fast but damn
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donaviolet · 2 months
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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gophergal · 1 year
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Love putting this bitch in silly outfits
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motherforthefamicom · 2 months
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more progress on the animation from this post
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wizardofgoodfortune · 2 years
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27 for Spotify fic thing!
a bit of comfy dreamling. and i fully believe that this would've been better if i had finished reading the entirety of the comics. alas... we can have a bit of silliness for now! but thank you for the ask!! 💓 i hope you are having fun with the ask game.
--
When you've lived for such a long period of time unimaginable to the common living being, asking for help is something short of unthinkable. He is Endless, after all. Lord of Dreams and Ruler of Nightmares. The Dreaming itself.
At least, that's what Dream thinks.
Death said he was foolish for not asking for help during his century in the Wych Cross, in the Burgess's basement, and for the pursuit of his tools afterwards. He doesn't think she will ever understand—he didn't want to worry her, or anyone for that matter.
Much less Hob Gadling, who is a mere 600 years old. He was older than most, yes, but still. Dream should be able to handle everything by himself. The Shaper of Forms should be able to fix all his problems on his own.
This is why Dream couldn't fathom why Hob gave him this tiny device he called a 'mobile phone'.
"Keep in touch," Hob said, "for when you need my help the next time you get... compromised. Or for when you just want a drink. Or a friend," he tacked on, grinning.
Dream stared at the phone accusatorily. It sat on the couch beside him in his room, unaware of his glare.
It was as if Hob didn't know how hard it already was for him just to mention that he'd been captured. By a human, with parlor tricks, no less. And before their recent meeting, they just met once every hundred years. Now Hob expected Dream to just... 'text' him?
Dream scoffed. This was ridiculous. They should have just continued to meet every hundred years.
But then again, the whole ordeal with Rose Walker and Desire just finished. Could Hob have helped with that problem? Most likely not. But sometimes, Dream did find that... elaborating... on one's feelings... proved. Useful.
And in the light of having been betrayed by his sibling, there was nothing he wanted more than to hear someone talk at him, for distraction. Or maybe even listen to him. Much like Hob did, the last time, in The New Inn.
Dream sighed. This was ridiculous. He tucked the phone into his coat, and left. He had much to do, and little time to spend on frivolities. He couldn't spend his time ruminating on every single thing in his life; he would certainly go insane if he did. So he will concentrate on the things he can fix now.
--
Dream was in the middle of a meeting with Lucienne and Merv when a ding! rang in the throne room. Lucienne looked up from her notes, and Mervyn cocked his pumpkin head.
It came from inside his coat. Dream paused for a moment, and opened his mouth to continue—
Ding!
"Uh, boss, I think that's coming from you," Merv said.
Lucienne hid the lower half of her face in her ledger. Dream dreaded to think why.
"I will take care of this," Dream said, standing from his throne. "I trust you will be able to attend to the repairs in my place, Lucienne. Mervyn."
"Of course, my lord," Lucienne said.
"See ya, boss," Merv said.
Dream turned away and blinked into his room before he could see them smile at each other at his expense.
He conjured the phone from his coat, forming from grains of sand. The screen simply said, '2 new messages from Hob Gadling.'
"Hey stranger! Fancy a night out at The New Inn? Just got done with finals, and I could use a relaxing evening. Beer for me, wine for you? I got you something even better than before," the first text said.
In their last meeting, Dream had actually caved to drinking wine. It seemed more palatable than any of the drinks in the past six centuries, and he was. In a good mood, so to say. He didn't really realize how thirsty he was until he got into a comfortable atmosphere.
"And I'm thinking you should try out our pizza tonight. Only made out of the finest ingredients, I promise. If you thought the shepherd's pie was good, wait for this one," the second text said.
And how hungry.
And because the Dreaming is him, thunder rumbled in the distance, as if to imitate an empty stomach growling.
This is ridiculous, Dream thought, as he stepped out of his room and into The New Inn. It was evening this time, and the place glowed yellow and orange. It was alive with its customers' tipsy buzz, the clinking of tableware, and the smell of savory food and alcohol.
Dream looked over to the spot where Hob sat before, and felt a pang of an unnamable feeling in his chest when he didn't see him there.
"My friend," bellowed a familiar voice from behind the counter.
It was Hob. He had a small towel thrown over his shoulder, and he had half of his hair tied back. Dream noticed the beads of sweat on his temples.
"Didn't expect you here so soon. I'll be right with you," Hob said, his face bright. He gestured to the table in the corner. "Have a seat."
And so Dream sat where he sat before. What was Hob up to?
"Sorry for the wait," said Hob from behind. He came brandishing a glass and a bottle. Was that a smear of something red on his cheek? And why was he wearing a flour-dusted apron? "If I knew you would come this fast, I would have texted you much earlier."
Dream watched Hob pour him a glass of wine.
"Y'know, you could have replied. I would've been more prepared that way," Hob said, setting down the bottle, and settling down across Dream. "Not that I mind, of course. Just thought you would be more preoccupied. But I could get used to it."
Dream huffed. "Do not. You merely caught me at an opportune time."
"And what joy," Hob said. He was grinning. Then he was standing up again. "Be right back."
Hob disappeared behind the counter and into what Dream assumed is the inn's kitchen. Dream looked at the wine. It didn't seem right to drink alone.
So instead, Dream listened to the sound of the inn's patrons talking to their friends about their day, good or bad, listened to the soft music playing on the speakers, listened to the dreams of a student snoozing on his friend's shoulder, heavily inebriated too early in the night.
He was having a nightmare about his 'finals,' as Hob called it. Dream waved the nightmare away. In this place, he deserved comfy dreams. His nightmare could wait another night.
"Make way, hot pizza coming through," Hob announced from behind again, hurriedly setting down a wooden plate. On it was flat bread with golden, melted cheese and the same red sauce that Dream saw on Hob's cheek earlier. There were also sliced cherry tomatoes and basil leaves on top. The pizza glistened under the yellow lights of the inn.
"Been a while since my last pizza," Hob said, sitting down across him with a sigh. He held his beer in his other hand. Maybe this time he would stop moving around so much.
Wait.
"You made this," Dream said, in disbelief.
"Yeah, picked it up when I lived in Italy a few years back. Don't think it's as good as how they taught me, but you be the judge. And don't hold back," Hob said as he cut through the sauce and cheese with a knife. "Hey, you haven't drank your wine yet."
"No," Dream said. He didn't want to elaborate.
"Buon appetito," Hob said, gesturing to the pizza. He wiped some of the sweat on his forehead away with his towel.
Dream stared at Hob.
"Please, before it gets cold," Hob insisted.
"Are you not going to eat?" Dream asked.
"Oh." Hob paused. Was that surprise? "I suppose I should, shouldn't I?"
Dream took his slice the same time Hob did, but Dream had more difficulty with his. The cheese stretched on impossibly, refusing to let go, until Hob chuckled and cut through it with his knife.
And finally, Dream bit into the slice. Both the sliced tomatoes and the tomatoes used in the red sauce reminded him of a dream of a farmer in the Italian countryside, toiling away in the hot day and coming home to his wife and son, his arms full of produce. The hot cheese came from the milk of a family cow cherished by its farmer. It dreamt of a seemingly never-ending green pasture, where she lived with her calves. The bread had the thoughts of the man in front of him kneaded into it, thoughts of how proud he was of his students, especially those graduating soon. Even the basil leaves contained Hob's thoughts, each carefully placed on the pizza, wondering if Dream would like it.
Dream gulped.
"Good?" Hob asked. He was smiling, but Dream spotted a bit of worry on the lines in his crow's feet.
"It is," Dream tried to find a sufficient word, but ended up echoing Hob, "good."
Dream watched Hob's shoulders loosen.
"Good. Great," Hob said, grinning, fully this time.
Dream felt his own chest tighten. He stifled the feeling with more of the pizza instead, and listened to Hob launch into how finals week went.
Maybe later in the night, wine-drunk, Dream would tell Hob of what happened recently. But right now, he was content to eat, and drink, and listen to his friend.
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sluckythewizard · 4 months
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so uhh i DID start writing again but this time its w my Riptide Cowboy Au Thats Also Just An Animorphs Au. here check out this very small bit of it. (under the cut is an OLD doodle page that i made based around this idea)
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#ITS AN ANIMORPHS AU BABY AND THAT MEANS THAT THERES YEERKS BABY OOH YEAH#I LOVE YEERKS THEYRE JUST LITTLE SLUGS THAT CRAWL INTO YOUR BRAIN#im very happy w my descriptions in this lil snippet. i hope it comes across as scary as i wish it to be#im also still very happy w this doodle page. check out chip he has a pickaxe earring now#jay also comes from an airforce family. instead of RAFT its called CRAFT#yknow like air craft. teehee. also instead of the planet o MANA im thinkin o calling it either LIFE or STAMINA#yknow like how ina game u have ur health bar n mana bar n you get what i fuckin mean#OKAY AND ILL ALSO MAKE A CONFESSION. I HAVNT READ ANIMORPHS SINCE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL#IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AGAIN. BUT IT STILL HAD SUCHAN IMPACT ON ME I THINK I REMEMBER ENOUGH#i wont be following any Exact canon of animorphs bc yknow what this is a different planet. or somethingm#yes i DO plan on giving the trio the power to morph#and yes i DO plan on making C.R.A.F.T entirely infiltrated by yeerks. jays dad is especially taken already#ayvas also been taken for a very very long time. even before she died#im thinking edyn in this au would also be taken. teehehee. her and her yeerk work together tho maybe#OOH lizzie is out there also. running w a big n awesome caravan of bandits. caspian is an alien but im not sure what kind yet#yknow whjat i could inject whatever wacky alien shit i want in this au. my world. my world. my world.#anyway if u feed me ideas i might eat them. i might eat them. i feel so fuckin possessed tofay#EVERYTHING IS SO DARK HEEEEEL[P!!! HELP MEEE!!! HEEEEELLP!!!!!!!!!
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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I slept rly deeply last night even tho it took me a while to get to sleep but I think that was bc I had acid reflux and I'd been playing videogames too late not anything else.... still only got 6 hrs but doing pretty okay all things considered 😚
#and not feeling sick this morning so im sticking w the higher dose for one more day. my heart rate does feel a little uncomfortably fast#but its tolerable. just gonna make notes of how it goes through the day and ill submit my review form to my dr this evening#and hopefully she'll give me the green light to drop back down instead of continuing to titrate up#this is making me think of those heartrate fetishists... do u think i could make money selling tachycardic heart recordings online#i do wanna try to exercise this morning while i have energy. might take the bike out it looks like a gorgeously sunny day#maybe ill try to map my cycle route to work so i can consider cycling there instead of taking the bus in a couple weeks..#i cant atm thp cuz they have scaffolding up and its blocked off the bike racks sadly 😔#i think making myself eat + drink as much as i can has helped control the nausea too. just need a lot of fuel to process meds properly ig#and a lot of sleep.. its a bit stressful to think abt how rigid im going to have to be abt my daily routines if i want to stay medicated#but to be honest i have a pretty rock solid sleep/meal routine already bc its the only way i can function with the hours i work#so like. i dont rly need to worry too much. i think i reacted badly the first couple days bc my base anxiety was high#and then bc that feeling was heightened by meds -> made me not eat/sleep properly -> knock on sickness the next day#but yeah still the side effects arent very nice and i dont wanna take the risk of it exacerbating every difficult emotion i deal with#but fingers crossed bc 30 worked rly nice for me and i had barely any side effects so hopefully i can settle w that long term 🤞#we will see....#ANYWAY. sorry for making the same post over and over the last couple days. talking abt it on here has helped me feel a lot calmer#i dont wanna bother ppl irl w every thought and physical symptom i experience hourly. but this is my blog i can do what i want#hope everyone else has a nice sunday <3#.diaries
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silverislander · 3 months
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wish i could just. work at a bookstore
#all of the bookstores around here are owned by indigo and they dont take resumes. you have to apply online#and you can only apply for specific positions in specific locations when those positions open#and they are Never open. ive been checking back nearly every day for almost four months now#and it kills me bc i KNOW i would be good at it and i wouldnt mind doing it it might even be nice#like. yes its still min wage and yes its still customer service/retail at its core but at least its smth i fucking like#id be great at giving book recommendations. i like organizing shelves well enough#i practically know the layout of the store like the back of my hand already considering i go there so often and have my whole life#just please let me do smth i care abt even a little bit. please#working at the grocery store is Fine. its objectively fine#i dont enjoy it but everyone is really nice and i know what im doing#but i dont want to do this forever. i dont even want to be doing it now#a man came in the other day talking abt how i could be the manager someday if i keep at it and i genuinely dread that future#i do not want to get stuck here. i cannot get stuck here forever#levi.txt#i got told my whole life that if i just went to university got ok grades and did Any degree id get a decent job and start my life#and i did it! and now im working the exact same job i had before i had any experience or a degree#and im having to consider starting over and getting another fucking degree in the HOPES itll help at all#i keep having to downgrade any hope i have for the future over and over and it is insanely fucking demoralizing#the least i can want rn is a job at a fucking bookstore
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daimonios · 9 months
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repotted my daughters (pothos and calathea)
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