#so in some way they are being arrogant about their mediocrity

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I will never understand why some people feel the need to defend the indefensible.

[heliomanteia]

did u delete ur latest post regarding rick giving leah a lackluster script?

Hi! Yeah, it needed rewording & more examples but if you don't mind I'll use your ask as a reason to talk about it! Annabeth is my favorite girl and I feel very passionate about how easily she could be dealt a better script.

Under read more because I go on a tangent.

I genuinely think Leah's script was mediocre at best and it's in no way the actress' fault. Many people pointed out that she's way "more Annabeth" within mediums not controlled by Richard & Co: interviews, promotional material, her personal interactions with the cast, and such.

My beef with Richard is that he very obviously "used", for the lack of a better word, Leah as some sort of a shield against any sort of criticism and then sort of really failed her - and I believe Leah to genuinely like her character & do her best.

I. I feel like there's a Lack of Annabeth in the camp scenes as an educator/guide.

Chiron wasn't alone in showing Percy around in the book, Annabeth did it with him. That's how we are first introduced to Annabeth as someone who knows so much of the Camp as she lived there so consistently. She also was the one to teach Percy Greek alongside Chiron. I feel like this positioning of her as someone with high degree of knowledge suffers greatly in the show: we aren't really shown that Annabeth is really knowledgeable, we're told that, and that's all.

II. I feel like Percy overtakes a lot of Annabeth's role as a character.

He offers exposition, explains the myths to HER in the Amusement Park episode (why is he the Wise Boy?), and overall "does her job". I wouldn't mind it as much if Annabeth was given a different archetype in return for that exchange, but she's left hollow. It's just Percy doing the thing and her trotting behind. That's... not how their dynamic works.

III. I think Leah!Annabeth is written off as a "Strong Woman" not allowed to show childlike qualities.

She is so serious and it makes her character very single-faceted. Annabeth is serious and focus-oriented, yes; but she is also silly, she is so geeky, she is adorably passionate, and she's so human. Feels like they reduced this in Leah's script by a lot and I don't get why. It would literally cost nothing to let her rant about architecture or let her passionately tell others myths.

IV. I believe her backstory is sort of forgotten about.

Many people spoke about how weird it is that she is presented as the one who needs to reach out to her neglectful dad, to do the emotional labor despite being a young neglected girl. It feels weird that it was Leah who was dealt such unfair treatment of her character.

Annabeth canonically didn't leave the camp much, she isn't familiar with the world outside; it'd be nice to see that aspect of her too. Also, her bond with Thalia is sort of there but her bond with Luke is nonexistent, it's just spoken about. Again, this strips her off so much of her humanity as a character. Without these little things showing that Annabeth can be fragile, vulnerable, sweet, funny, loving we just end up with an arrogant, angry girl. Not a good look for Richard tbh.

V. The show fails to objectively narrate Leah!Annabeth.

The Disney+ adaptation - for the abovementioned reasons - ends up presenting Annabeth to us as Percy's future love interest first and as her own character second. It wouldn't work even if it was Percy's POV because Percy sees her for the girl she is first.

VI. I think Richard fucked up the premise of the character.

Book Annabeth was one of the examples of deceitful appearances: the "dumb blonde" that actually was insanely witty. This "she's not what she appears like" trait was sort of taken away from Leah and I don't get why? I fail to believe that there are no stereotypes regarding presumed lack of intelligence that could be played off with a Black actress. Sounds like Richard and Disney didn't really think about it.

VII. I hate how she was cut out of Tartarus scenes.

That was such a BIG moment for 'beth, she was the one talking to Hades! Because Grover was scared to death and Percy was impulsive and with no filter! He doesn't know how to talk to Gods, he's been a halfblood for so little and Annabeth has been one her whole life! She's the brains, she's the negotiator. The show leaves her in the forest of regrets and sort of forgets about it after.

So, I do think that the script for her sucked bad. And the worst part is, it could be better SO easily. Leah deserved better imo.

[friendly-stardust]

If you had the chance to change something about the dance of the dragons (TV show or book), what would it be? For example, how a character dies, which team a house is on,or an entire character personally. How would you change it to make the story better, in your opinion?♥️🖤💙💚

Thanks for the ask anon and sorry that it took me this long to reply. This is a tricky one and this can be long.

House of the Dragon is a complete mess and a mediocrity of a show on every level, except for the acting. The writing is at an abysmal level, and I am convinced that it only got the interest and the rating it got thanks to the fact that it is under GoT's umbrella. And the fact that the showrunners/writers decided to be ungrateful and to insult the very show thanks to which their shitty fanfiction is even relevant, tells me everything I need to know about the arrogance and the ignorance existing behind this travesty of a show. The showrunners/writers seem to have completely misunderstood the themes of The Dance dealing mainly with class stratification, the corruptible nature of power, the consequences of blind ambition, and the pitfalls of unchecked privilege, reducing it all to a dumbed-down and pandering fanfiction in which tokenism, outdated and bigoted caricatures, and banal depiction of sexual assault are used casually as tropes, while pretending to write a 'feminist' or a 'progressive’ show. So, for House of the Dragon, EVERYTHING is to be changed.

Rhaenyra should have never been written as the main protagonist: From Episode one, we already have a failure in our hand with the writing as the showrunners decided to solely use Rhaenyra as our main protagonist in a show that is supposed to depict a severe and ineluctable succession crisis at the top of the Kingdom, resulting in the splintering and in the factionalism of the ruling family. Because, at the heart of this story, this IS the main thematic of the Dance - the civil war that will be tearing the ruling family at the head of the Realm apart and, consequently, the Realm itself apart (except for Dorne which was not yet part of the Seven Kingdom). We should have had different POVs to illustrate the deep divide that have been festering within the Targaryen clan itself and POVs from some of the closest families around them helping them rule. So, if it was me writing this, the POVs would have been: • Alicent - for the Hightowers POV, to see things through her lends and because of the important role she will have as a Queen in the future and as the head of one of the factions. • Rhaenyra - She will be the heir, one of the main claimants to the throne, and the head of the other main faction. • Daemon - self-explanatory. Playing his own partition/having his own ambition and need to be in power. • Corlys - to have a POV for the Velaryons and to highlight their side of the story and their narrative as a clan close to power. I would have made the Velaryons more politically savvy and Corlys primarily working with the sole perspective of preserving and consolidating the Velaryons' place of power/closeness to the Throne. As a whole, the Velaryons and Corlys' allegiance will clearly and only be for the Velaryon's name and clan. I would also use that POV to illustrate the Velaryons tinge of resentment towards Viserys and towards the dismissive way House Targaryen have treated them since Aemon's death. • Criston - POV of a lower-class man of Dornish descent getting into the heart of power and having to navigates its difficulties with his set of believes and morals, and how being in the middle of all this impacts his decisions and his ambition for the ascension of House Cole to a more prominent social status.

Using Season 1 as a set-up Season and not rush with catastrophic and mismanaged times skips: Season one should have really been a set-up season, taking the time to really put the foundations into place, while having enough belief in the story to give it the time needed to develop naturally. I believe that it is important to pose the base that the fracture in the clan Targaryen and with the Velaryons have been created since Aemon Targaryen's death which, according to me, is truly the start of this whole succession crisis. The Dance is just the poorly managed resultant of the whole process, seeping through several generations of resentment and hatred for one another. This will also completely negate all the stupid arguments I have seen online of 'if Viserys had married Laena, all this will not have happened'. This is because the show writers have failed the only-show fans who have no clues that the Velaryons have already threatened war during the whole Rhaenys vs Viserys ordeal. It would also emphasise the reason why it was important for Viserys to not shun the Velaryons and to keep a close alliance with them and would explain the reason why Vaemond became that adamant and not too keen on letting Rhaenyra's bastard usurp their ancestral throne. If only the Velaryons were taken seriously by the writers and not solely used as tokens and brownie points to prop-up Saint Rhaenyra?

Being aware of tokenism, bigotry and of anachronistic representations: This show seems to have been written by people who appear completely oblivious to how careful they should have been with how to manage negative stereotypes.

Avoiding Tokenism: From a standpoint of a Black woman like myself, the way the Velaryons were written was quite insulting. The showrunners/writers seem completely oblivious to how bad it looked to have the only House cast as Black being completely subservient, usurped and abused by their white-coded Targaryen counterparts, with no protest from most of them. The only one of them who protested – Vaemond - was villainised by the narrative and was made to say a misogynistic slur to justify his murder in open court. Murder which has no further consequence in the narrative. These showrunners/writers seem to not understand the racial implications that this casting choice creates in this world and seem completely ignorant to how to organically integrate that change into the narration and how to prevent stereotyping those race-swapped characters, so to not reduce the Velaryons to mere tokens. As a result, the writing made the Velaryons act like complete idiots devoid of any sense of pragmatism, strategic mindset, or political intellect, in a world that literally demands those characteristics of the people playing the game of throne. And the way Rhaenyra’s relationship to them was written also reeks of racist undertones. Overall, the way the Velaryons were written just demonstrates the ignorance and the shallowness we have behind this show and highlights the fact that the race-swapping was only made for aesthetic purposes and for some veneer of visual racial diversity.

And the best example to illustrate that vile treatments of the Velaryons is the way Laena and her daughters were written - not that Laenor or Corlys or Vaemond were spared either - but the treatment inflicted onto those female characters, now made WoC, represent better the showrunners/writer’s deep misogynoir, to which I am sure, they are completely oblivious. Laena's role and arc in the source material was completely butchered and diminished, by rewriting and reducing a feminine, beloved and desired (in her marriage to Daemon) woman - seduced and brazenly wanted by Daemon as his wife in F&B - into some teenager seducing the grown man Daemon, all while he only had eyes for the White girl Rhaenyra, actively feeding into the stereotypes about girls of colour growing up faster, having to be needy and desperate for men attention, and having to seek out male attention to be noticed. I mean, as if Laena was not beautiful enough for a man to notice her without her having to throw herself at him? But it doesn't stop there. They managed to erase her relationship with Rhaenyra, reducing it all to some repulsive scenario of pitting two women against each other for a man, the complete opposite of what happened in the source material, in addition of making Laena the ‘other woman’, the lesser desired one, and the unwanted wife, in her relationship with Daemon. And let not forget the trauma-porn inflicted on her WoC body in that violent and traumatic death, which is a complete bastardisation of an invented only-show concept of “a woman dying a dragon rider death” - whatever that means. Apparently, once Laena became mixed-race in the show, she became some thirsty, miserable, completely isolated woman, willing to go along with only being good enough as a second choice to her white husband, and dies violently by suicide instead of the beloved and cherished woman full of strength and humanity we have in her white woman depiction from F&B. The same abhorrent treatment was inflicted onto Baela and Rhaena, both written as some wallpapers and empty headed mute dolls with no layered personalities and no real wants of their owns, just willing to go along with anything, even to their own detriment (this includes Rhaenyra’s bastards sons taking precedent over them for Driftmark), as long as it favors and bolsters the causes and the ambition of Rhaenyra - the woman their father married just few weeks after their mother's funeral.

Avoiding Bigoted depictions:

a) Some of the tokenism arguments can also be applied to the showrunners/writers’ decision to depict Ser Criston Cole as a brown man of Dornish descent, which already comes with its own in-world racial undertones, while being very hell-bent on portraying his character as an emotional, thuggish, and resentment-driven character, who got his positions as hand-me-downs from two white women, instead of the intelligent, calculated man, always in control of his emotions, and above all, driven by ambition, and who got to the highest position of knighthood in Westeros by the merits of his own competence, as he was described as in his White-coded version in F&B. This illustrates once more the showrunners/writers’ incapability of understanding the tokenistic nature of their racial representation. Also, maybe unaware, and oblivious to their own bigotry on display in what they were implying here, the showrunners/writers went with the problematic trope of the savage, misogynist, and violent brown man for this character. And the fact that they decided to deliberately frame this brown man as some misogynist and vindictive man, unreasonable and unjustified in his anger towards his sexual predator when he is the victim of sexual assault in that “Rhaenyra’s sexual empowerment” episode, just disgusts me. As if his feelings and the shame he felt from the whole ordeal the next day, as a person, was to be dismissed or worst, mocked. The optics of the showrunners narratively dismissing his trauma while they have decided to change his race in the show, just highlights once more the racist undertone we have in the writing of some of the characters in this show. It also illustrates how out of touch the people behind this show are when it comes to representing power and racial dynamisms in a sensible way.

b) Larys Strong is the first disabled character we see on screen with his clubfoot and someone in the writing room though that it was a great idea to then transform him into some deviant sexual predator who gets off by fetishizing FEET. You cannot make this up! The showrunners/writers also butchered his character by making him the confirmed and sole murderer of his father and brother, when in the books, 3 other characters, Corlys, Viserys and Daemon, were also plausible culprits for that crime - but they are all Team Black so better whitewash them all and put it all on the disabled and only Team Green character that was also under suspicions for this murder. And all to see Alicent’s feet, ladies, and gentlemen! Instead of the enigmatic, calculated, and ambitious character we have depicted in F&B, the showrunners/writers made Larys Strong into some outdated caricature and despicable representation of a disabled character, embodiment of all of the devious and negative traits, by equating being disabled with being devious in morality and mentally. It is just a vile way to represent disabled characters, quite akin to the way they were viewed in medieval times as bearer of bad intentions/evilness, which also confirms the ableism and the hollow activism we have behind the scenes of this show.

Avoiding anachronistic representations:

a) Equating Alicent to a 'Woman for Trump' - a misogynist and reductive slur used within a very 21st century USA political discourse - while portraying a woman supposed to be within a setting mirroring medieval Europe, just shows the lack of culture, and of historical knowledge we have in this writers’ room.

b) Anachronistic girl boss characterisation: Rhaenys is written as a vessel to peddle nonsensical 21st century notions of White feminism, a hollow wannabe and anachronistic girl boss, spouting anachronistic speeches, while the show completely removed any agencies from most female characters, and took strong female characters from the original story and turned them into some victims of situations, none of their own doing of course, who constantly cry and are afraid of making any decisions, all while most of their negative traits are given to the male characters, absolute monsters and responsible for all woes that afflict the female characters. Also, Rhaenyra is whitewashed into some girl boss and some absurd notion of a ‘modern politician’ - modern in which historical period, no one knows – who spouts drivels like ‘when I am queen, I will make a new order’, to brazenly pander to Daenerys’ fanbase, when both women are nothing alike, except for the fact that both are Targaryen women.

4. Follow the source material and not thematically rewrite the Dance:

No Aegon I prophecy or dream. Maintain the Targaryens as the ruthless colonialists they are instead of trying to justify their reason to brutally colonise a whole continent. As a person from the African continent, this is not the kind of rhetoric I would like to see peddle, justifying colonisation in the name of some superior purpose.

No white stag apparition coming to anoint our Saint Disneyesque Girlboss Rhaenyra to rule. This is insulting to the intellect of people who want to see complex storytelling.

Completely rewrite the dreadful Episode 9 and make it as close as possible to the book’s depiction of the Green Council.

No Girlboss moment for Rhaenys, murdering hundreds of peasants and ruining Aegon’s coronation.

Erasing that bullshit about Alicent confusing Viserys last words and make the Green reason to crown Aegon and Helaena based on tradition and precedents, as in F&B, and not based on some feeble concept such as the King’s word. We are not in an Absolute Monarchy here, but the uncultured idiots we have behind this show don’t even know the difference.

Not erasing fat women representation with Rhaenyra and Helaena when you claim to be such ‘feminist’ and ‘inclusive’ show. Where is the inclusion of different female body shapes? Or are they not worthy of representation? Instead, we have one of your showrunners (the incompetent Sara Hess) using fatphobic language to make it seem like it is weird for a woman’s body to evolve after several pregnancies.

Showing women on the Green side (Alicent or Helaena) going through their pregnancies and giving birth.

Not erasing Helaena in her own coronation.

Not infantilising Helaena and making her a side character in some other characters story (Aegon, Jace).

Showing the Green kids with their dragons in Season 1. As it was portrayed in HotD, most casual viewers don’t realise that in real Targaryen fashion, those kids should have their dragons around them in most official displays (side eyeing the whole dragon pit debacle here).

Where is Sunfyre and a clear view of Dreamfyre?

Making Vhagar roar when Aemond eye was slashed.

Making one of the adult correct Baela’s and Rhaena’s wrong assumption that Aemond stole Vhagar. Why did the incompetent showrunners/writers even insinuate that foolishness in the first place without having one of the adults rectify the Dragon lore? We all know that it was to paint Aemond as the villain in this situation.

Making it more evident that Rhaenyra meant torture when she said, ‘sharply questioned’.

Why was Daeron and Maelor absent?

Not making the Dragon/owner bond murkier with that shitty and useless singing session from Daemon in Episode 10, when it is canon that one rider cannot have 2 dragons at the same time to ride. Surely Daemon, as verse into Valyrian lore as they proclaim him to be, should be aware of that. This is just confusing the casual viewers.

Using Mushroom's accounts for both the Greens and the Blacks – if I am using them at all.

Not erasing Mysaria’s miscarriage as it is part of her characterisation.

Not claiming to wanting to make a 50/50 adaptation when BTS the showrunner Ryan Condal is using gobbledygook such as ‘they made Aegon usurps his sister Rhaenyra’s throne’, when, by all Westerosi tradition and precedents, Aegon could not usurp what is already lawfully his as the first-born son of the King.

For the book version of the Dance, I don’t have much to change to be honest:

I would have significantly toned down the Daemon’s fest.

I would have made the Velaryon more neutral or playing both sides, with a strategic splitting of the House to support both sides.

I would have made some of the Houses change team, like for example, making the Royces in the Vale side with the Greens, splitting the allegiances in the Vale, to better illustrate how profoundly divided the whole Realm becomes with the war of succession.

The Redwynes (which I would have made the maternal side of Alicent) and most of the Reach would have sided with the Greens.

I would have betrothed Daeron to one of the other powerful Houses in the Reach.

No Wolf Hour.

No army pulled out of nowhere in the Riverlands after Aemond reduces them to crisp. Instead, some part of the Vale army would make the bulk of it.

Finally, no Jaehaera death. That was just petty and quite stupid writing from GRRM with no logical justification as to why she needed to die. No need for the “most sexy 6 years old” to ever exist in the story.

Jaehaera and Aegon III will have their children, who mostly have no real impact on the Targaryen line anyways, apart from Daena the Defiant who gave birth to House Blackfyre.

[codenamesazanka]

What do you fear the most that mhas epilogue will do and make sure to list your other fears too

Oh god.

I think my biggest fear is Deku going to visit Spinner, and Spinner will validate his ignorant, arrogant, unheroic ass. Whether it's 'Thank you for trying to save Shigaraki' or 'Sorry Tenko stayed being Shigaraki for me and the League instead of giving in to you' or 'Wow, you really are the true hero Stain saw' or 'I see that Shigaraki has entrusted his will on you, so I will cheer you on from now on'.

Of course, a Spinner who validates Deku and essentially surrenders to the Heroes' way of doing things is only a symptom of a much bigger problem that is "Silly League of Villains, Heroes were right all along, save for some tiny mistakes, and now it's time to repent and assimilate" - an overall epilogue where nothing actually changes except some people learn to feel pity and vows to be nicer. So I guess that's my true, core fear. But it's manifesting in Spinner turning into a Deku groupie. Yeah, why not befriend the guy who killed your actual friend and believe in his way of doing things that got your friend killed.

-

Another Spinner fear I have is actually Spinner becoming a 'true' spokesman for the Heteromorphs - less because he doesn't deserve it, more because it's likely that it means his 'stance' has gone to Shouji level and he's telling everyone to not be like him and instead work harder to brave being sprayed by pesticides and endure bullying. So, fear of Spinner being tokenized (again) and becoming a Shoji-like kind of Heteromorph advocate.

Like, I've always thought Spinner's 'fix' was that he should be allowed to be entirely mediocre and be treated right. Put another way, he's not obligated to be exceptional in order to deserve basic decency/proper treatment. Even the worst, most selfish, resentful, weak-quirk, intelligence D, League of Legends gamer loser you know shouldn't be subjected to fantasy racism, because no one should. If he's an advocate, he's an advocate for the losers of the heteromorphs - the weaklings, the delinquents, the criminals? But that's not a very inspiring message! Instead, Heteromorphs should shine bright - and that's the message the manga and Shouji is giving.

Also like, there's no way the new powers that be will let him near a microphone without being declawed - last time he did so, he literally started a riot. There's no way they let him talk about his true feelings - that he was empty; that with the hundreds of Heroes on TV, none gave him hope for change; that it took a most outcasts-of-outcasts Villain team for him to ever feel accepted.

Spinner being an 'advocate' I think would be more him being a cautionary tale - "don't be like me, I'm a Villain and I'm stuck in Tartarus 2.0 for life; you can fight for your rights but not like I did!" He deserves better than that. Heteromorphs deserve better than that.

My other fears

Shigaraki stays dead

Shigaraki comes back but as five-year-old Tenko, so that Heroes can 'raise him properly' to be a Hero

We learn Toga died

We learn Dabi died but Endeavor lived

We never see the MLA ever again

We don't get more Compress backstory

Moonfish gets executed

Gran Torino doesn't die

Hawks being relevant

Hawks still facing no satisfying consequences for killing Twice

Twice being remembered by no one except his killer who's still vaguely mournful about his death but it was for the greater good, he really did think Bubaigawara was a decent guy

HPSC revived

No mention of anything being done about the HATE CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN in the countryside. Shoji's 'let's shine bright' was it.

Quirk Counseling not completely revised

Aizawa and Mic still basically cursing out Shigaraki for stealing Shirakumo from them and not realizing Kurogiri/Shirakumo genuinely cared about the kid

No one bringing up how fucked up Iron Maidens and Tartarus is.

Tartarus 2.0 is back and everything is exactly the same but the wardens are nicer because they went through sensitivity training

That ending where the manga fast toward 12 years and everyone is in extremely heterosexual marriages with children. Part of this means teenaged Kouta and Eri are hinted to be crushing on each other or something. god.

[pet-genius]

"No one deserves to be praised for kindness if he does not have the strength to be bad" - La Rochefoucauld

And is that not just "Snape to a T," as @dementedlollipop had put it while I was contemplating making a meta?

I think I can relate to the concept of goodness vs. greatness in HP that I've been toying with for actual years. The distinction first comes up in Ollivander's shop, IIRC, where Ollivander remarks that Voldemort did things that were "terrible" but "great", which makes Harry uncomfortable. But of course it does, because Ollivander is literally calling his parents' murderer "great". And that word keeps coming up: "You could be great, you know," the Sorting Hat whispers to Harry.

What if Harry's praiseworthiness is not in ending up in Gryffindor, but in choosing his idea of goodness (which was naive, as he was only 11 and his only source of intel was Hagrid)?

Dobby has always known of Harry's greatness, but not of his goodness, because the too things are not the same. The main "lesson" of COS is that our choices make us who we are, but how many 11 year olds are offered the choice? How many children ended up in Slytherin because no one had warned them about that House, because they had no personal stake in where they would be? Harry is not only a Gryffindor but someone who might as well not have been, hence his goodness. Harry constantly grapples with the knowledge that he is actually not special and has no outstanding power, and Dumbledore constantly has to remind him - the power of love. The power of choice. Picture young Snape, torn between the two, with Lily representing an idea of goodness that is increasingly foreign to him as she aligns herself with people he has good reason to despise. On his other shoulder, greatness - as he conceives it - whispers. It might be telling him something like... "There is no good or bad. Only power and those too weak to seek it." Or even something like... "our choices make us who we are. Do you choose to stay weak or come under my wings and learn how to be strong?"

He has every power to be bad, because his tragic life made that path the easier one. At some point, it might have looked like the only option. Certainly Dumbledore would not have humored a young Snape who had never been corrupted to start with, by the way. What glory or greatness could the Order offer him?

Funnily enough, his biggest criticism of James is that he was "mediocre" and "arrogant," neither of which translates directly to a "violent bully" in my eyes. I don't want to make another post about James, but I do think it says a lot about what Snape valued - at least at the time when James had been alive, when Snape probably verbalized his criticisms.

"Ought implies can", Kant tells us, meaning (as I read it) that moral duty arises only when the possibility exists. But we don't deserve praise for merely doing as we ought. Snape deserves praise just as much as deserves condemnation, because his story has always been that of choice between viable options. The option to be good must have seemed less viable when he was a short-sighted and traumatized teenager, but he always had it. Greatness, and goodness, praiseworthiness... belong to the adult we met, the petty and vindictive and still-traumatized and still embittered man who - even after killing Dumbledore, when capitalizing on his strength to be bad could not be easier - still chose the struggle. It feels like a good point to end the meta, except that I read it and I feel ridiculously self-important and like I barely skimmed the surface. I guess the quote in the title just really encapsulates why Snape is so endlessly fascinating, on top of just being, ultimately - good.

[redheadspark]

hey could i request prompt 18 with jack russell (wwbn)?? xx

A/N - I love this! I think it's perfect for Jack, thanks for requesting this, anon!

Better

Summary - You let Jack unleash all that is inside of him.

Warnings - Just angst and fluff mixed together.

“I think you should talk about it,”

“I don’t wish to bore you, amore,”

“You won’t.  Come on, talk to me about it,”

Jack paused, thinking to himself as you were sitting patiently on the other end of the loveseat and watching him with a soft smirk.  You could see it with his how shoulders seemed tense and in how he was sitting on the couch, almost too consumed with what was on his mind.  But you knew him talking it out and getting it out of his system so to speak was the best avenue.  This was not the first time you saw Jack stressed out thanks to his monster hunting job, and this was more mild to other times he would come home and vent.  But venting always worked with him, and you were going to give him the space to use it.

Jack finally exhaled, almost letting out all of the air from his lungs and leaned back for a moment on the couch.  

“It started when I got there, with the client already fumbling with the contract..”

It was like you opened the floodgate with him, you leaning back a bit as Jack was telling you every single detail of his job that he was recently on.  Maybe you sensed it as soon as he walked in the door and let his bag fall to the ground in a heap. Putting the kettle on and grabbing Jack’s favorite flavor of tea at the ready, Jack hopped in the shower to get some of the tension to melt away while you tossed his soiled clothes in the washer and put most of his things away for him.

Jack got up from the couch at that point, pacing back and forth in front of you as he was telling you all the details, leaving nothing out of his rant while you sat patiently and sipped your tea.  Jack was never one to like confrontation or any unnecessary drama, which seemed off since he had to deal with monsters and corrupted meant for a living.  But he never shied away from it, he was a gifted hunter and knew how to handle any situations.  Let alone being a werewolf and learning how to keep himself calm in stressful situations, he had to channel peace instead of chaos most of the time.  He had other ways to deal with it: mediation and deep breathing.  

But venting, he loved to vent to you.

“He had no sense of what needed to be done!  And all of his planning was beyond mediocre, I could do what this man can ever do in a lifetime!  He made it seem like it was his first time hiring a monster hunter!” Jack commented in a growl as he was almost pulling his hair out.  You had no idea how his world worked or functioned, nor were you supposed to.  

Jack made his monster hunting part of his life, along with his lycanthropy as well, very private and kept away from it simply to keep you safe.  He thought of you as his world, such a supportive and positive person he’s been looking for his entire life.  You two have been together for at least 2 years now, marriage was a thought but not just yet since Jack wanted to make sure things were stable both financially and in your lives together.  He took a lot of things to heart when it came to you, and you thought of it as a sacred love that you two had and shared together.  

“And ever after I killed the monster, the man had the nerve to try and negotiate his price since I took too long to do the job, according to him!” Jack huffed, then ruffling his hair and sat himself back down on the couch in a heap, “I should have ripped his throat out then and there for how arrogant he was!”

He took out a long exhale, almost like his lungs were made of balloons and he was finally done with all that was kept inside of himself.  He looked better, almost at ease than while he looked like he was about to sink into the couch and beneath the cushions.  You reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his mug, the tea still steaming in the mug with the tea bag hovering at the top.  

Handing it to Jack, you smiled and rubbed the back of his neck with the tips of your fingers, “ You feel better?”

Jack smiled, for the first time that night he grinned from ear to ear as he stared at you lovingly, “Much, thank you for listening to me, amor,”

You shrugged as you watched him take a drink from his mug, “Sometimes it’s better to let it out than keep it in.  Something I learned from my mother a long time ago,” 

Jack placed the mug back down on the coffee table, then reach over to wrap you in his arms.  You could breathe in the shower gel he used earlier, along with something that was simply Jack as he kissed the side of your head.  This was the Jack you knew and loved, not the Jack that was lightly wound like a tot or ready to snap any second.  This Jack was soothing and calm, nurturing and kind, and you would be fool to not let him be in your life.  

You knew he was grateful for you being in his life, making his life easier and simpler than it was before when he was on his own.  You were grateful for him in return, Jack loving you in ways that you could only dream of.  If hat meant you would let him vent and unleash some of that pain he had to keep inside, you would.  Merely because you knew that was not all Jack.

Jack was more than that, at least to you he was.

The End

[gossipgoal2]

a few things of note; let’s say sammy doesn’t already know about jacks insta activity, aside from that are we sure she has the dignity to not leave him knowing this information? i mean, based on all we’ve heard she’s morally repugnant and her behaviour is tantamount to everything bad about modern society, so her turning a blind eye to her boyfriends behaviour just to keep her status as jack hughes’ girlfriend is not out of the question. whilst any normal human being would concede seeing someone they support (however small) happy as a good thing, as i am, i also feel a sort of unjustness. why does someone as abhorrent as sammy get everything handed to her, whether it be through her family’s generational wealth or the opportunities it opens for a “career”, get to also have jack hughes as a boyfriend? ofc, she is not the only woman to whom this applies to, and i don’t want to be unfair to diminish her to JUST being jacks’ girlfriend, it often makes me wonder if he has ever been made aware of these behaviours and if it bothers him, or if that would even be considered an issue with him. not for anything, jack has really just become, quite frankly, staggeringly mediocre. for one, he’s only played 1/5 seasons playing 63 games or more, and whilst his performance capabilities within those games are definitely elite, he just isn’t strong enough to sustain his peak play by staying healthy, and add on to his 1 postseason win in his 5 professional seasons on a team that has been rebuilding for about 8 years now. and if any of the pictures and signs of life that have been posted are anything to go by, he certainly hasn’t gotten big enough to indicate that next season will be any different, granted, he has been rehabbing and probably isn’t allowed to put too much strain on his shoulder, but unless he goes absolutely balls to the walls in training, i expect to continue being underwhelmed by his next season. now look, im never one to just go after someone’s looks as they often cannot help their appearance, and especially when their personality, which they can control, is so second rate. but i’m sorry, his hair this season made him look like a sickly Victorian-era child, maybe it was the repulsive way he would style it coupled with the fact we barely saw him smile or outwardly express joy, but it really has dropped him a few spots in my rankings, that’s for sure. in addition, this season i felt especially that his overall attitude on and off the ice has soured in the court of public opinion, and it has shifted from “oh he’s so funny he’s being short with the media and their stupid questions oh he’s so drole” to “he’s a whining, self entitled, and arrogant.” this can be seen most prominently with his “people pay to watch me play” comment, whether the meaning of that was intended to be self- important or not. but one that particularly stuck with me is a game in which they won, as the goalie whom wasn’t the usual starter made great saves to lead them to a victory, and said “ya it’s easy to win when you get the saves” which came off as a very selfish comment. do you see the true upper echelon of the league (mcdavid, matthew’s, mackinnon, crosby, pasternak etc.) ever imply blame on their goalie, warranted or not? the lack of support for his goalie and by extension team is never displayed publicly by players better than him, or even most players who aren’t, and are very obnoxious. like who are you to point out someone’s poor performance so blatantly like that? i would expect you to have league leading numbers to maybe give validity to a comment like that… oh wait. you didn’t. your offence couldn’t score and your defence couldn’t save a beach ball, but let’s throw the lone GOALIE under the bus. in all, jack hughes has certainly taken some of the reasons to support him off the board, and unless the jack hughes redemption tour makes serious traction, he will never be even close to the best in my opinion, and his downgrade should be studied by sociologists for generations to come.

Lol he does look like a sickly Victorian age boy hahahah

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 13

weird how i have a headache once again. it's like a ritual now. finish a season gain a headache. anyway let's see. a much better season than both 11 and 12 i think. but goddamn that fucking apocalypse world. i can already tell most of this post is going to be me complaining about the apocalypse world. sorry in advance.

so i'm pleasantly surprised that i only hated a sparse few episodes, actually. most of the worse episodes were either mediocre or cringe, and honestly i can accept that. there was some decent stuff here, and i'll give credit where it's due.

i think the season was at its best when lucifer and the apocalypse world weren't in any way involved. unfortunately there were very few episodes entirely absent of both (sad!), but at least there were plenty of scenes that avoided both subjects. i'm clinging to those with gusto.

lucifer... well it's the same issues i've had with him since season 7. i don't like the total rewrite of his character, and i especially don't enjoy his flimsy, superficial motivations, if he ever has motivations to begin with. i'm extremely bored of villains who want evil for evil's sake, power for power's sake. it's tired, it's hackneyed, it's entirely uninteresting. kripke's lucifer was an interesting take on the devil, with his understated and quiet arrogance: you almost wanted to believe him and sympathize with his position. he was compelling and new. but once kripke left the scene, lucifer just feels... like mark pellegrino is trying to recreate crowley from good omens, basically.

the petulant, bratty attitude lacks synergy with his earlier portrayal, and he loses a true purpose in the show. he goes from trying to fulfill one half of a destiny that parallels the relationship between sam and dean to... i don't even know, honestly. first he's a whacky and silly hallucination, then he wants daddy to apologize to him (and throws a temper tantrum to get it), then he wants... to destroy the world? i guess? and then he wants to rule the world, or something, because why not. there's barely anything reminiscent of his original purpose in the show, and hardly anything left of his original personality and character. it's really disappointing to see him disintegrate from something truly compelling to a flat, one-dimensional cardboard cutout of Evil Cartoon Villain. he's just not interesting anymore, i guess unless you really like crowley good omens and have always wanted to see him in supernatural instead. no offense intended to crowley good omens, for the record. he's just lovely in his original series, playing the role he was created for.

anyway what the fuck happened with lucifer in heaven anyway? like i keep feeling i straight-up missed a scene, or an episode. anael walked away from lucifer and then....? and then lucifer is just gone, i guess? like seriously did miss something? what happened between bring 'em back alive and funeralia???? how did they get lucifer out of heaven???? is that EVER explained????

anyway (x2) i guess i'll complain about the apocalypse world again because i still hate it. if there are 10000 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there are 100 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there's 1 apocalypse world hater that's me. if there's 0 apocalypse world haters i'm dead. and so on and so forth. i'm not above being petty.

i've mostly hashed out my thoughts on this world before so i won't bore anyone with the details, but i really really hate how they continued down this path in season 13. there are too many obvious narrative ploys to excuse the actions that sam, dean, and mary have taken. it's like a redemption arc for them without them ever having to do anything to "earn" that redemption. its entire existence screams "well without them doing these horrible things, everything would have been much worse! so actually it's okay!" and i can't stand that level of flippant, tone-deaf handwaving. it's like they can't bear the thought of their protagonists being anything less than morally good, and that gets under my skin and pisses me off like nothing else.

and i think this is particularly bad for mary. the thing season 12 did really well was making her a deeply flawed individual, someone who makes mistakes and is selfish and lost and just trying to make the best decisions with a shit hand and who suffers great losses because the game was rigged against her. she hurts her kids because of her choices, both in the past and in the present, and the show doesn't make an attempt to excuse her but rather encourages the audience to sympathize with her unique situation and understand that this is not and never was a black-and-white problem. there are no "good people" because everyone makes choices that harm others. this is an important theme rooted in the foundation of the show, and it's important to me.

which is why it infuriates me that the branching-off point in the apocalypse world is that mary didn't make the deal with azazel. because all that does is excuse the harm he inflicted on her kids. "the alternative was worse!" to such an extreme that the only thing the audience can do is justify mary's actions and absolve her of her sins. that's not fair to her, and it portrays her in exactly the opposite light that season 12 did, by forcing her into a pure and morally righteous role as the woman who made the Right Choice, who saved the world because of her small sacrifice. it's not fair! they took a complex female character and flattened her so badly into a Good Person simply by transforming her most destructive, selfish decision into the morally good one. it just feels like the writers couldn't handle the agony of writing a female character who wasn't either 100% good or 100% evil, and god it pisses me off. i'm seriously so disappointed in this direction, and the echoes of that direction soured the entirety of season 13 for me. because not only was mary rewritten into the morally upstanding mother, she was also reduced and limited in her narrative role. she took a major backseat this season, and what she was allowed to do was wholly motherly and nurturing. she took care of jack, she... took care of jack, she insisted that the rest of the resistance camp return to the real world with them, she... well damn, she took really good care of jack! none of the reckless, short-sighted characterization of season 12 remains, all her ruthlessness was drained, all of her power and competence ignored, and she was left to a disappointing support role as jack's moral compass, a nurturing mother to help jack develop. i'm SO angry about this, if you can't tell. SO angry about it.

i really, really, really am not someone to say that a character "deserved better" because for one that's a stupid and pointless argument to get into and i find most commentary in that vein to be both entitled and advocating for wildly OOC behavior in pursuit of content that destroys narrative integrity and eliminates drama, plot, and conflict. but mary... god i'm just so disappointed with how they used her this season. they did such great work with her last season. and this season they flattened her into Mother. and i'm so unhappy with it. If You Can't Tell.

let's see. more positive comments: i like how rowena is developing. she still falls firmly into the camp of side characters who are weirdly shallow for the roles they occupy because this show is chronically incapable of crafting good side characters, BUT now that she's getting some on-screen developments there's more meat on her bones, and i like what she's doing. that said, i really disagree with the complete about-face she made from season 12 to 13. seriously what's with the difference in characterizations between 12 and 13...? i'm so so confused here. i don't understand why rowena would ever be so broken up about crowley dying considering she tried to kill him so many times—maybe whoever decided that was the same person who decided mary had to be Mother and nothing else. mother characters have to be Mother and Mother trumps all other facets of their personality, maybe? whatever it is, i'm so annoyed by it and i hope to god this gets better in season 14. please lord i can't keep doing this. i need my women problematic, fucked up, and irredeemable. please.

jack, i'll talk about jack briefly because i'm getting sleepy and holy shit i want to go to bed lmao. i really love his character, i think he's appropriately nuanced and it's very refreshing. i suppose it's because he's a main character, and supernatural handles its main characters far better than the side characters (my issues with cas and his narrative development notwithstanding). he creates so much natural conflict, and i love how he plays off of sam and dean in really organic and interesting ways. i love how he helps to continue dean's arc from season 6 regarding his ability to be a father, and i love how both sam and dean project themselves so heavily onto him and respond to him in drastically different ways according to that perception. it's really complex and layered, which results in fantastic interactions and well-written drama that i greatly appreciate. even jack's interactions with lucifer, as much as i dislike lucifer's character, managed to be engaging and compelling. i love how much everyone is fumbling through all of this (this being parenthood) throughout the season, and how none of them really take to it naturally and those bonds have to form out of mistakes and forgiveness. it feels really satisfying and i'm so, so happy with how it's panned out.

i've seen posts floating around that dean wasn't jack's father, at least not to the extent sam and cas were, but i wholeheartedly disagree and i think dean plays a really vital role in this parenting dynamic, and he's willing to step up in ways both sam and cas hesitate to. for better and for worse, of course. and i just adore that jack so earnestly seeks dean's approval, and that makes dean giving that approval that much sweeter and cathartic. dean was able to give jack what he never got from john, in a big way. or at least dean didn't get it until john was literally on his death bed. it's a lot of character development for dean, and i loved seeing that. and i love that it continued through the season, and dean was able to heal himself through jack and find the father inside of him that can break the cycle of abuse that he inevitably perpetuated through ben. like seriously, incredible character arc. i'm obsessed with it.

i've barely talked about sam's parenting jack because i really don't have much to say. like he did so well, even when he messed up, in reaching out to jack and trying so hard to be the father he never had. he's open and honest about his intentions, his goals, his love, and his care. even though he's not great at communicating, he tries, and that eventually conveys in a way jack understands and appreciates. it's a totally new side to sam that i was anticipating because of tumblr, but that i wouldn't have expected going in blind. he's not exactly cut out for domesticity—really he sucks at it. so seeing him forge himself through dogged effort into a father was really rewarding, and i think his earnest devotion to that cause was what carried him to success there. he's strong-willed and he proved that here, and it's just really heart-warming to see him interact with jack and take care of him the best he knows how to, all the while actively striving to learn better. it's awesome.

i know dean is possessed by an archangel at the moment but i really am hoping for some nice domestic co-parenting wincest moments next season. i need it to live, i think <3

i think this is probably long enough, and also my headache is getting worse because it wants me to sleep 💔 so i'll end this here and start my season 13 detox :) i can't believe i only have 40 episodes left of this show. it feels so unreal, and it actually makes me want to skip the detox and keep going, but i know i'll regret that decision so i'll be diligent and read my wincest porn to cope with bad writing.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

There is something down there...

The musty smell of a potato cellar in spring emanates from the air vent.

We're going to stop by Siileng on our way.

Changing into the White Satin Shirt triggers a new thought.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Why does art inspire you so much?

It does, yes -- but what *is* art?

No, art is for arrogant blowhards. Why am I getting this?

[Discard thought.]

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Excellent question. Art is a diverse range of visual, literary, auditory, and performative creativity! It's an expression of imagination and technical skill. Additionally, it's history, criticism and pure enjoyment...

In short, art is the highest form of human communication -- representation, narrative, emotion and agency intertwined.

Would I fit into the art world? I mean...

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Have you looked in the mirror lately? You have the exact features of a savage art critic, with that beard and those clothes! Dishevelled and *prophetic*. Perhaps you should try to critique architecture too!

Hold on, is architecture also art?

I guess I *have* been feeling critical lately.

That's stupid. Architecture is stupid.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Of course not, it's autism. Box-drawing. Masturbation with a ruler and a sextant or whatever they use. You should demean and criticize the genteel institution of architecture. While extolling the virtues of the *pure* arts.

Wait, what about music? Is it art?

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Only the most experimental kind.

I guess I *have* been feeling critical lately.

That's stupid. Architecture is stupid. Music is stupid.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Yes! You seek substance. No vapid representations and reproductions of social mores, as made manifest in stuffy biennials, we're talking real *living art* here. Become the Art Cop. Half art critic -- half cop.

Wait, but don't I have to be 100% cop -- to get the case finished and all that?

Okay. If 50% art critic is what's needed to free me from rote repetition, so be it. (Opt in.)

No. I cannot risk another copo-diversion at this point. Go away! (Opt out.)

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Quit being so indecisive. What are you going for here? Some kind of indecisive and *camp* aesthetic now? Strike a bold shape here. Go art or go home.

2. Okay. If 50% art critic is what's needed to free me from rote repetition, so be it. (Opt in.)

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Exactly. It's not *only* your duty to only catch the criminals of the street, you must also apprehend criminals of the printing press and the gallery -- the trite and derivative artists and writers of the world!

Thought Gained: Actual Art Degree

Go ahead and provide savage criticisms, Art Cop. The world is yours to rip to pieces and reassemble!

ACTUAL ART DEGREE

Temporary research bonus: -1 Perception: Can't even look at this shit Research time: 1h 30m

Yeah, it's another copotype -- the worst one. The most savage and brutal. The Art Cop. Nothing is good enough for him. Everything is *shit*. You have to employ an armada of adjectives to depict and demean the mediocrity of the works and visual institutions around you. Really *flex* that critical muscle. Until the vocabulary for PUNISHING mediocrity becomes second nature. Here we go...

SIILENG - The shine on these sunglasses lasts a lifetime, officer! One hundred percent guaranteed!"

3. [Conceptualization - Formidable 13] Try again, maybe you can find *some* interesting sunglasses in the box.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - Ah, I see... A pair of waterblue shades. The writing on the left temple says: "Sub-Insulindic Rendezvous." The frame appears to be hand-carved out of bone.

SIILENG - "Oh, very interesting choice, officer, very *high-culture*..." For the first time the street vendor's voice trails off, as he watches you inspect the glasses.

Try them on.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - This is how a sea monster sees the world. You've become a sea monster, Harry -- giant, hidden and... strangely tender at heart. All is blue.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - Alright, but these actually make your vision worse. It's like literally being under water.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - Yes, but they also make your soul quiver like jello. So deep.

SIILENG - "Wow, officer, you look so cool," the street vendor has picked up his pace again, as you observe the world through deep sea-tinted lenses.

"And they can be yours for a mere three reál. My regular customers have passed them all up because they've got no taste, but *you* found them..."

"Kim, what about these?"

Put them back.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant tilts his head and steps back, eyes narrowed in a thorough examination. It's a case to him.

"You look like a musician," he declares, eyes still squinted behind his own glasses. "Like a *blind* musician. But you could do worse. Take them if you want."

The Sunglasses "Sub-Insulindic Rendezvous" gives +1 Inland Empire and -1 Perception. Not too useful with our already high Psyche. They also put the entire game under a blue filter.

Ok, we're actually here.

WATER LOCK CONTROL PANEL - A rusting control panel with loose wires dangling out from the hole where an indicator light used to be, and a mechanical lever sitting in the middle.

Pull the lever -- again.

WATER LOCK CONTROL PANEL - You grab the handle and pull the lever up. As soon as the metal connects against the contact pins you hear a loud *clunk*, then...

The water lock starts moving...

Task complete: Close the water lock on Wednesday

+10 XP

KIM KITSURAGI - "Okay..." The lieutenant looks across the canal. "If we ever need to get to the coast, then this is the way. But please, contain your *wanderlust* for now. I don't want us to get sidetracked. Not with everything that's going on."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - Focus on one thing, achieve it, then the next... he thinks. That's the task chain.

I prefer to take a more *holistic* approach to detective work.

The radio relay hums with electricity.

Traffic beyond the gate. More abandoned motor lorries.

The sign says "No Entry." Someone's scribbled an inverted star on it.

Prying this panel open with the crowbar, we discover a pair of sunglasses.

JAMROCK BIKER-COP SUNNIES

+1 Empathy: Feel the streets -1 Logic: Leave the reason behind

For taking your Harmel-Rioux Supersonique out for a ride -- on the streets of Jamrock, where your heart is buried.

🎵 Disco Elysium Pt. 1

Someone has broken down the fence *and* the barbed wire.

The swing is missing -- no one's been here for a long time.

INLAND EMPIRE - Rust peels off the bent iron posts of the swing. The wind whistles through the skeleton of the small house behind you. There's desolation... everywhere.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Yet someone used to live here. Laugh here. Thought it was a good idea to build a *swing* even...

"What happened here?"

[Discard thought.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "In this yard?" The lieutenant looks at the small building. A flock of grey swallows takes off in the distance.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Easy: Success] - He's assessing the situation. How long ago was it abandoned.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Someone thought they could have a summer house in a *bloc obscur*. For cheap. It didn't work out. They abandoned it about a decade ago."

"Wait, what's a *bloc obscur*?"

"So this part of the coast is a *bloc obscur*?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "A black bloc, a part of the city left unrenovated after the war. Or one that has fallen to gang violence. Or has become inhospitable in some other way."

"So this part of the coast is a *bloc obscur*?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Practically. It's not an official term in any way, but..." he spreads his arms, "look around -- no sewage, broken power lines, crime, drunks... Life is tough in the blocs. It's no place to build a summer house."

"Maybe they left something useful behind?"

"You're right -- it's no place. Let's go." [Finish]

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes -- for you to pick up as part of the Jamrock shuffle." He gives you a weary smile.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Trivial: Success] - It's not meant as nagging, just an observation.

KIM KITSURAGI - "We should move. I don't think we will solve the murder with forays into the urban hinterland. At least in this phase of the investigation."

"Glory," says the graffito, "to the ghosts of us!"

Someone has left their music collection beneath the tarpaulin.

TAPE "SMALLEST CHURCH IN SAINT SAËNS

The tape you found from a shack on the coast. The A-side has Smallest Church in Saint-Saëns written on it, while the B-side is supposed to contain the instrumental version. Requires a boombox to play.

>INTERACT

There's no way to listen to the tape without a working tape player or porta-reel at hand.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - But even just holding the tape makes you feel a little sad...

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - A pawnshop -- a pawnshop would have a tape player...

Birds in the birch tree -- barely audible coos from above.

There are tyre tracks in the sand here. As we approach them, Harry begins to slow down.

A breaker box to power the radio pylon above you. Maybe there's something inside?

Ahead: decades old concrete defences. Children play on them now.

All that's inside the box is 90 centims. I've been picking up some other loose change and medicine here and there.

A creaking ahead -- a broken axle grinding.

A bottle, drained of all its booze, is frozen to the ice.

BANGED-UP FUEL CANISTER

A dented stainless steel canister for transporting and storing heavy fuel oil. A logo on its side has been partially stripped over years of use. The government-issued red-dyed fuel oil inside looks like paint -- though it smells much, much worse.

LOGIC - This is it -- the scene of the party. The fire pit, cigarettes, and empty bottles all evidence it.

Hold up -- don't you mean scene of the crime?

Yeah. Sure does look like a lot of folks partied here.

(Dismiss thought.)

LOGIC - Not as such. I'm talking about what came after -- the party scene.

Yeah. Sure does look like a lot of folks partied here.

LOGIC - Looks like they were here a while, judging from all the bottles. The sunken motor carriage provided them a focal point -- like a goose ice-sculpture or a chocolate fountain.

"Hey, Kim. Looks like we've had a couple of party-goers here."

Guess I'll be on my way. (Finish thought.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Looks like it."

"Looks like they had a great time laughing here."

"This was some kind of theatre to them. A circus production by a great clown."

"Was this party against the law? On the ice like this -- it was probably a public danger."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hey -- let's keep moving, detective." The lieutenant adjusts his glasses.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Somehow he doesn't want to dwell on it...

The ice just off the coast cracks, shifting.

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - A banged up motor carriage lies half-submerged in the icy water, slowly sinking into the Insulindian ocean. Only the cabin top, rear wheels and the engine remain visible.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Easy: Success] - Remember the tyre tracks in Martinaise? This is where they were leading.

"So this is where all the tracks were leading to!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "It appears to be so." The lieutenant has a peculiar look in his eyes as he inspects the wreckage.

"Let's investigate."

"We don't have time for traffic hooliganism right now." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "I agree," the lieutenant replies, his eyes never leave the sunken vehicle. "We should definitely investigate."

INLAND EMPIRE [Trivial: Success] - You get a sudden sinking feeling. Stomach acid comes up as you look at the motor carriage in the deep, dark, cold water.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Why the doom and gloom? It's just a sunken motor carriage. Some motor carriages are bound to end up in the sea.

Run your hand over the cold metal.

What is the make of this MC? Can I see a logo?

"How long has it been here?"

"Well, well, well. Looks like Jacob Irw's journey came to an abrupt end here."

"What should we do?"

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - The motor carriage is properly stuck in the ice. Getting it out would require a team of specialists.

2. What is the make of this MC? Can I see a logo?

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - The logo is too deep in the murky water -- you can't make it out. But you *do* see a monkfish float by.

3. "How long has it been here?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "The ice hasn't closed around the vehicle yet..." He leans forward to peek into the cold water. "My guess is it's been here since last Saturday or Sunday."

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - The estimate is correct. The incident probably occurred on Sunday evening.

4. "Well, well, well. Looks like Jacob Irw's journey came to an abrupt end here."

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - Your mocking tone finds no response but the motion of the waves.

"Did you say something, lieutenant?"

"Yes, yes..." (Rub your chin.) "Crazy recklessness."

"Yet another case of the engine displacement triumphing over the driver's IQ."

"Enough gloating. This is serious."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. Quite." The lieutenant seems to be inspecting you more closely than the motor carriage.

5. "What should we do?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Let's wait for the low tide and see what's inside."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - Great idea! Then we can get the things inside. The joyrider must have left something good inside. Guns? Papers? Maybe a cool jacket? A joyrider jacket?

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - A joyrider jacket? You feel a strange connection to this joyrider. Maybe he's from some kind of Joyriders district and likes blue and white racing livery? Like a cop would.

"How long will it take for the low tide to come in?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I don't know. An hour or two tops."

6. Sit on the swing and wait for the tide to recede.

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - As you sit down in the old, rusty playground, the world around you becomes very silent.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - The hinges creak under your weight -- dangerously so.

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - Nothing but the sound of seagulls, high above in the sky, echoing like distant laughter. Ice cracks around the blue motor carriage in the sea.

"Hold on, it looks very blue." (Point to the sunken vehicle.)

[Drama - Medium 10] Whistle a tune.

Wait in silence.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes, yes, it does."

2. "What's your favourite blue thing?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hmm..." The lieutenant is staring at the wreck. "Let me think about it..."

2. [Drama - Medium 10] Whistle a tune.

+1 Art cop.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - The tune on your lips forms a strange, yet undeniably beautiful contrast with the surrounding bleakness.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant gives you a quick glance. Then, still looking straight ahead, he joins you with a higher-pitched and slightly more melodic trill.

+1 Morale

+1 Reputation

+5 XP

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Two birds on a wire, whistling by the seaside. Looking at the water. And a sunken car.

SUNKEN MOTOR CARRIAGE - The clouds pass in the sky and the shadow of the swing moves like the hour hand on a time piece... Thirty minutes have passed.

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - Looks like this might take a while. Time to present a good topic for discussion.

[valeriefauxnom]

Euden's Moral Confusion of Self

Let me introduce this rant/analysis (rantnalysis?) in a more humorous way: did you know that the act Euden did for the circus event never was specified? No, it never was, but I have a pretty good guess what he excels at: mental gymnastics!

Jokes aside, Euden had a very... robust set of tendencies that were not quite so healthy, and sometime in the future I'll probably go over more of 'em. First, though, I'm attempting to tackle his deceptively-poor self-image. Of course, long post ahead!

To start framing what I'm getting at, I'd like to cite the scene I used in a previous rant, wherein Euden declares his efforts to continue the path he's pursuing 'selfish.'

It's a very small footnote of his overall character, but it is consistent. He, in short, has flipped his (well-known) tendencies toward self-sacrifice and otherwise protecting other people from a 'virtue' to a 'vice'. We can see this in anything from Jurota's to Mitsuhide's stories, the latter wherein he wins her otherwise unwinnable game by framing his act of saving villagers as 'selfish' instead of 'selfless' to beat Mitsuhide's "no acting for others' sake rule" in her Uprising Game.

Taken to its logical extreme, this means that pretty much all those times Euden was being recklessly selfless or otherwise sacrificial, he himself views it as a completely selfish action. There is something to be said, in that he's not entirely incorrect: he is acting because acting that way makes him feel good/reaffirms his moral code, but past a certain point this view is...harmful.

For Euden also outright will raise a rare criticism to those being selfish to the point of endangering others. It is a 'bad' thing to be selfish in his mind, especially when it starts endangering others, and understandably so. I think largely that's a view many cultures share.

Still, it is a twisted little part of a psyche when you can frame any degree of self-sacrifice as being selfish in my view. In what probably will be another rant/analysis someday, Euden seems to have a lot of trouble with identifying himself as his own person, on his own merits, even before Nedrick entered the picture. Even in a bit of a lighthearted note, he rarely identifies himself as a prince or otherwise someone held in esteemed position very quickly, often leading to miscommunication and surprise on many people's behalf to learn that this teenager is actually lord of the land, like Elisanne experienced first when she took him as Zethia's manservant.

But I digress. The end result of that is the same: Euden seldom voices thoughts about himself as a person, but even rarer are positive ones, and this is a prime example of it. He's cultivated an self-image of mediocrity, 'nothing special', and with him flipping 'virtue' to 'vice' with his extraordinary (say, supernatural) selflessness, he can't even take some esteem in "I think I'm kind/generous/good at giving back" we might throw around in a 'introduce yourself to the class' introduction.

We can see the overall message I'm trying to get across plain in Gala Leif's story. Here's two notable highlights for my ideas:

(Oh, Luca, yes they do have 'unique personalities', and they're all their own unique messes. I love them, though, disasters that they are.)

Ahem. Here, Euden lays out plain that he views his desire for a future to be built without sacrifices and making everyone happy as selfish, himself as arrogant instead of kind, and otherwise unremarkable in any other sense.

All in all, though, this starts to paint a sad picture. What good qualities Euden does have, he flips to negative attributes instead (Selflessness=selfishness, developed sense of right/wrong/kindness=arrogance, etc) and what negative attributes he does have are kept as-is, and neutral attributes are viewed as standard for anyone and not something that should be praised (he sometimes flips 'positive' to 'neutral' attributes instead, though, sometimes attributing his selflessness to nothing special or something expected of everyone).

So...yeah. Euden doesn't hint to it often, but he's got a bit of a twisted view regarding himself, something I'm sure has no negative repercussions in any other aspect of his life...(not foreshadowing at all, no, no...) He goes beyond modesty and into self-deprecation. Even worse, he has it perfectly straight when it comes to dealing with other people. Self-sacrifice is a virtue, even if it was done out of duty or pride, etc. This mess of morality is all for him and him alone. And that's kinda messed up.

If you've stuck around this long, though, thank you! I hope I'm not spamming the tag or anything. I guess all this new access to be able to articulate my many non-fanfic thoughts on Dragalia where people will actually understand them has been too tempting of late! I'd also like to reiterate that I'm always down to discuss Dragalia (I miss it!), so if you've questions/comments/rants you want to ask about it (or Tales of the Abyss, a lot of other JRPGs I'm not listing here, or my fanfics) feel free!

[dreamwritesimagines]

I think there's some untapped potential between Clover and Anthony.

He wants to marry for duty and heirs with no love, and she wants riches and solitude without love.

The only bad thing about it is that Anthony would take forever to die so she wouldn't go there.

but you can't tell me that Anthony wouldn't immediately welcome Teddy into the family

that if her parents ever showed up again, he wouldn't immediately get rid of them

that even if he fell in love or not, Anthony protects his family, no matter what.

I think it would be something Clover would appreciate and these are the thoughts that keep Benedict up at night because Anthony asked her to dance and he SWEARS, he saw her crack a smile at something Anthony said.

He fucking hates this family, Benedict decides, specially his older brother who has just as dry a humor as her and that she would definitely enjoy.

Nah but fr, Anthony and Clover would make such a good friendship, just the most levelheaded in a ton full of dreamers and idealists, Anthony would silently pass her his flask of whisky after yet another man tried to propose, Clover would tell him to ask her to dance when he's being swarmed by ladies and their mothers and Anthony could kiss her if Benedict weren't glaring at him. Teddy gets hurt and insulted by an older Lord for his background and Anthony protects him like he is his own little brother.

ANTHONY AND CLOVER FRIENDSHIP RIGHTS

I AM SCREAMING HERE OMG YES?! 😱😍

I have so much to say about this aaaaaa my love, you're amazing! 😍😍😍 Thank you so so much for this! 😍🥰❤️

Okay so first of all -and I think this is very interesting- Clover and Anthony are, in theory, perfect for each other😂 Anthony believed he would die young (in the books) after his father's death, and just like you said, he wants to marry for duty and heirs with no love, and Clover wants a husband that will die fast and refuses to marry for love, she wants her solitude❤️ They make perfect sense together because they are, in a way, each other's counterparts 😂

(Did I just get inspiration for a Clover/Anthony AU where they fall in love after getting married yes I did but wait, back to our topic)

I think it would be something Clover would appreciate and these are the thoughts that keep Benedict up at night because Anthony asked her to dance and he SWEARS, he saw her crack a smile at something Anthony said. THIS WOULD DEFINITELY HAPPEN! 😱❤️

I think Benedict is incredibly observant and he would totally see that 😂 Like, he would want to ask Anthony what they talked about during their dance and would manage to control himself, but he would one hundred percent notice even the tiniest details 😂

I agree completely, I think they would make great friends! 😂 Like, at first there'd be some ego clash because they both have some similarities when it comes to that but once they get past that, they would be very close friends! ❤️ Like, they would be dancing just to save each other from unwanted dance partners, and Clover would be like,

"So who is it this time?"

"Hm?"

"What lady was trying so hard to get your attention?"

"Lady Abigail."

"Ah, I was wondering why she has been glaring at me since the beginning of the dance."

"She's glaring at you?"

"No worries, my glare is much more frightening than hers. Are you sure you wish to reject her? It'd do you well to be tormented throughout your marriage with mediocre company and complete arrogance about piano skills."

"Mm, just what I'm looking for in matrimony."

"Such a shame I got in between such wonderful courtship."

"Fate I would say. How about you? Which suitor are we avoiding tonight?"

"Ugh, Lord Brumley."

"And you had the audacity to call my potential dance partner mediocre company?"

"At least Lady Abigail would stop talking while she's playing the piano, Lord Brumley does not even have that."

"My brother doesn't talk while he's painting by the way."

"Don't."

"Just expressing a fact."

"Mm hm, of course you are."

[levok]

Hi guys 💜

For everyone's sake, I've disabled the asks for now. I will turn it on again sometime during the weekend.

I have avoided posting any asks containing direct spoilers, so no one sees anything they don't want to see by accident.

So this is the spoiler asks master post. If you don't want to ready any spoilers, then stop here and have a lovely night.

🚨 THIS IS THE OFFICIAL SPOILER ALERT!! 🚨

... Or else, keep reading 👇

Yeah, we all knew Wilhelm would do some sketchy things in this season, but Simon too?? I am very 👀 about that. I don't think you are totally off about that. Because he is obviously not over Wilhelm, and being with Marcus is most likely a way to deal with his trauma (taking back control over his intimacy)... I just don't hope Marcus is too much of a goody boy. I actually kinda want him to also do sketchy things.

Hahah I have so far been wrong about EVERYTHING!!!.. Pray for my Zodiacs 🙏

There will not be a dull moment. how we will solve all this in just 6 eps seems impossible 🥵

This is sweet anon wanted to posted, but the asks was closed. So don't come for me haha.

Me and the Emperor is ready to the rise of LarsMarcus filthy gifs! (sorry Wille hah)

We will get the Wilmon spice in wilhelms dreams 💔 Can't wait for people to analyze Sircus vs Wilmon sex 😂 it will be something!

ofc they will be endgame (whatever that means), but I honestly don't think Sircus will be a thing for more than 1-2 eps. People have just been so hyper fixated on the LT, that they act like this is the main plot of s2.... I really don't think it is. They didn't add Marcus because they were running out of drama.

I assume you mean s2 hehe. But it is really hard to tell what he means with indefensible. It's an interesting word to use... He didn't say unforgivable, which would probably be something you use about a specific act (cheating, killing, beating someone up).

I may be reaching, but wouldn't you use the term indefensible more towards a general behavior? It is also very much up to peoples personal morals what that means. I think him being an utterly douch toward August, and use all his prince privileges to humiliate him could be considered indefensible, since it kinda changes your view on Wilhelm. Wilhelm literally becoming everything Simon hates.

People are just freaking out over Marcus. It's dumb. But I don't care... I love the tone they have set for the season. And I kinda want to see how far they can push peoples morals in defending the characters (myself included).

I know this was aimed towards another anon, but it ended up here since I consider it spoiler enough. At least my answer will be lol..

The thing about shows using the LT trope, is that it is usually added because the show has run out of drama or a problem to solve. So we automatically associate LT with a lackluster mediocre plot line.

YR definitely didn't run out of plot or drama or problems to solve! Sircus will not be the plot that carries the plot line, trust me (how bold of me to still ask you to trust me haha)

It will be GREAT!!... and my answer for the ask above also apply to this.

SAAAME ... Wille being a straight up dick is gonna be gooood. Edvin's acting alone is something I look forward to.

The question is, if the lunch thing will be a private lunch for the society where they have to vote for something, or a lunch with the rest of the students. And will Simon be present? Will wilhelm dare being a dick to August in front of Simon as well?... He knows Simon hates August, so maybe he think he would approve. But Wilhelm showing royal arrogance will not sit well with him.

I really want Simons reaction to Wilhelm asking August to call him Your Highness 🙈

I want Marcus to be sketchy so baad... I don't want him to just be some nice guy. That's too boring... Give me Augusts OG dealer. Or Marcus using Simon. Just something.

WELL haha... I may have been exaggerating for my own good. This message may have been exchanged a while ago..

Let's be honest, you guys didn't want the truth. Just see how some reacts now the truth was revealed haha. But we had a good run, didn't we.

I would honestly love that. Just for the lol. Just to piss on the fans... And so I can repost my original lars post and at least be right about ONE thing 😁

I want them all to be miserable haha. I don't think Marcus can heal baby, but maybe teach him some tricks 😏

Haha go you anon! The LT will be a great sprinkle of suffering.

I really really want those Tommy interviews. Why are they gatekeeping him so hard. I hope he will be on some of their post-premiere promo. And I am very curious to see there energy/chemistry. We know they had A LOT of people applying for Marcus, so I'm sure he is perfect.

Concept approved ✅

How they will make sure the majority doesn't ship Sircus over Wilmon after Wilhelms garbage behavior is something I look very much forward to see 🙈 They can't just trust good will. Also lol at Edvin clarifying that they don't support their behavior - Or the new boyfriend!

Edvin is 19. To him a boyfriend is someone you've fucked once. Omar on the other hand... I'm sure he sees Marcus and Simon as a bit more oklart. unlabeled if I may say.

____________________________________

OKAY guys. that was a LOT! 🥵 I'm over and out ✌️

Hope you are all as excited as me. Talk to y'all later 😙

[julietasgf]

@mr-nauseam buddie I'm so sorry I forgot talking abt the other two remaining racers on my other postsksklskl 😭 pardon me, BUT I'm doing this separate post, hope it's okay!! but let's go to the two silly little guys left:

dennis giroud is a belgian driver. he races since he was very young, in go-karts, and he has been in love with racing since... well... forever. his dad saw so many potential in dennis and always took him to races and encouraged his dream. his dad was basically his coach for most of his life, and also the manager of his career. and dennis was VERY talented, it's worth saying; he won almost all of the regional junior categories and started to draw attention from some of the big teams, hence why he was part of the redbull academy since very, very young. so, dennis start to rise in his career; he wins formula 2, gets a seat in formula 1 in a smaller team, and it doesn't take long for him to get a seat in red bull. and the car of the team is good, and dennis is an excelent racer, it's just that everything fits so well and he's living his dreams... despite not everything being exactly what he thought they would be. it's just that dennis is very much a reserved person who just wants to stay at home with his cats, chill and win races, and he isn't very fond of the fame and gossip that comes with being a formula 1 driver. dennis is genuinely so chill; some reporters label him as arrogant bc of the way he refuses to give interviews and stuff, but he's just shy. again, dennis is very talented, and he wins 3 championships on a roll; and this new year, he's ready to win another one... except that this year, he has a problem with name and surname. vanessa cruz, who was a rookie two years ago and now signed with mercedes... and is now winning almost everything. dennis didn't even have to worry about competition before, people were fighting for who would get the second and third place... and now he has this pretentious and younger racer being such a pain in the ass.

vanessa cruz is a mexican driver. vanessa's father was a mediocre formula one driver much before than her, before he got into a crash that kind of made it impossible for him to go back to formula one again. vanessa is his only child, so he basically tried to live through her. vanessa was very, very young when he started pushing her into go-karts. and despite the pressure... vanessa loved it. she loved racing, and more than that, she was fucking good at it, better than any boy around. her father pulled her into a strict routine so she would become basically the perfect racer. vanessa's childhood was spent on the racetrack and with her father repeating over and over again what she already knew: the second place is the first of the losers. and vanessa adored her father, of course he should've been telling the truth!!! and as she grew up, he made it very clear that not making it to formula 1 isn't an option. she had to become a racer, and a succesful one at that. so vanessa worked hard, she trained and followed her father's strict routine, and it was no surprise when she quickly made it to the juniors categories, and then... to formula 1. vanessa is confident, she's funny and charismatic, and it's no wonder the media loves her so much, because she's not only a racer, she WILL put on a show for them. some call her pretentious... but honestly, she just knows how talented she is and she's not ashamed of it. vanessa was a rookie in the same year dennis won his second championship, and she admired him so much. he's the most succesful driver of their generation, and she can't wait to get into a big team to finally be able to compete with him on the same level. and now that vanessa got a seat in mercedes, oh, there's nothing really that can stop her.

also, since I've finished introducing you to all of these guys... here's their designs!!! :D (just to make it clear: rodrigo is not a natural blond, being blond is not one of his crimes despite the many others

[aeolianblues]

I'm realising of late that I am the sort of person whose favourite music and guilty pleasure songs people would not be able to distinguish from the outside, I'm the worst about it.

I like rock music, about 10 years ago you may have surmised that meant I either hated pop or felt the need to hide it. Over time, that hasn't happened, either I do openly bore of a formulaic song that is frustratingly blandly written— or just methodically mediocre and hoping for the charting/vitality without putting anything of the key artists into it (not necessarily something personal, sometimes the 'thing' in question is simply a brain...), or quite often, I just like it. I love a good pop tune. Not ashamed of that at all.

Similarly, being a rock fan, I do love a good lick! I do love a great riff or a sexy fuzzy amp tone, hell yeah. But is there music that makes me want to get up and throw a chair because I hate the artist so much? Yeah. I will openly dislike a Guns N Roses song even while singing along to the higher bits on Paradise City full-diva. And yeah I've attempted the exercise-like Sweet Child riff. I will say Slash seems a nicer person than Axl, I can't stand him and can also confirm from a friend who toured with him that it's a fucking miserable task being around that band (she suffered through the double attack of being 1) closeted gay 2) in the 90s 2.5) around fucking hair metal macho rock music cunts extraordinaire Guns N' Roses... The band would've been one short by the end of that tour were it anyone but her with the saintly patience, on account of murder. So yeah, nothing guilty there, I just openly hate them.

The thing that people couldn't tell the difference between is some of the indie music I love and the indie music I hate— sort of. I do like some cool alternative. Love me some smart indie. I'm post punk all the way. You want to be pretentious and read poetry to terse music, go for it. I adore it.

But then there's some indie, which sounds almost the exact same to the ear that doesn't look for the stories behind the artists, that I cannot stand, but in reality am really coming to like. I think I am irritated by the entire concept of the Strokes, but I do feel so cool walking downtown with the Is This It album in my ears. Cannot stand the way they're called these sort of fathers of 00s indie. That 00s NYC scene were largely annoying rich college kids who happened to make okay art during maybe the last 3 years that anyone could truly afford to be an artist in New York City (what some have described as the years just before the Giuliani NYC reforms that made it impossible to earn a living as an artist there. A part time restaurant chef now in NYC will simply not have the wages and subsequently time to be in a rock band that much. The gentrification hit music Hard, they say. I'm not a New Yorker but yeah. Same concept in Toronto).

But despite all this—and most importantly, this belief I have that if I were a classmate or housemate of many of these guys during the early 00s, I'd have hated their arrogance. Can't forget that belief I somehow have—I do still really enjoy quite a few of that period's bands.

(The New Abnormal was Not a better album than A Hero's Death though. I am still sour about that.)

Then there are some really, really naff indie bands from the 00s in the UK too, in theory I've got no time for them. I didn't quite vibe with them at 16. I also genuinely do not want to like e.g. The Maccabees. I still have some ego! I still have some pride left in me. But put on Dreaming Of You by The Coral and I'm on my toes dancing. Shoulders shaking at a desk. I'll vibe along to some really naff pop rock indie too. I just don't want to vibe to the Vaccines. Don't let me near that stuff.

But who on the outside of this nuance can really tell the difference between Wet Leg (beloved) and The Maccabees?

At least I'll never be a Courteeners fan.

[onesummertime]

hey... hey. how y'all doin

jia (21+, s/h) back again with the main vocalist of f/f, but this time with a brand spanking new personality and face! as always, discord & ims available for plotting, with the former being preferred! more under the cut, as always. i'll be slowly making the rounds & popping into the ims to say hi and hopefully plot with everyone, but like this and i'll get to u a lil speedier ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

background:

parents separated when she was younger, and mama carted her off to canada claiming she was giving yeoreum a good education & a leg up by raising her in an english speaking country.

moves back to korea years later, because mom scams her way into marrying some well-off guy. mom's happy to let her go-- for yr's sake, ofc. korea's education system is better than canada's. her new man's pockets are deeper than whatever child support check papa han could ever write.

she's cast by everlast through instagram dms, and decides 2 do it for shits and giggles (and because she's got dreams of being the next jiyeon and roly-polying her way through life. mostly shits and giggles, though the popularity boost doesn't hurt either.)

the giggles don't last long, though, because reality checks her. hard. while she falls in love with being an idol, she struggles with the rigorous standards, only ever too much or too little.

eventually, she makes the decision to quit in high school and focus on her studies.

spoiler: she doesn't! so here she is, a high school graduate with mediocre results that get her nowhere near seoul universities. her dad tells her to stop having one foot out the door at all times and figure out what exactly it is that she wants and to focus on that goal.

a twist of fate, and she finds herself on a survival show. this action will have consequences!

starts off strong, but every tv show needs its ratings, and she's an easy villain. people start to criticise her ambition, and she looks more greedy than desperate. a hate train eventually starts, which she takes to heart. stressed and tired, she ends up snapping at a fan-favourite contestant during a lapse of judgment, and ruh-roh!

gets kicked off, unsurprisingly. she sticks around only for the final episode, as contractually obligated, but after that, it's back to the land of moose... meese... for her. doesn't want to talk about it, but...

releases a self-written song on soundcloud, which leads to culture creative's scouting her, and the rest is history.

now:

a study in being split between two worlds, dealing with the fact that everything you wanted isn't quite that, and being everything everywhere all at once.

one of f/f's producers and composers, and will brag about her group to anyone unlucky enough to be within earshot.

a big fan of 2nd gen ggs. doesn't listen to anyone in her own generation, cause like... what? are they meant to be competition?

in that vein, also very confident. never arrogant, because she knows that some shiny new thing could just as quickly take her/their place, so she works insanely hard to keep herself & the group relevant and in the public eye.

big 3: virgo sun, libra moon & sag rising. life of the party, but also a perfectionist... but it's whatever rly.

pretty girl who knows it. still, tell her! would've absolutely been called a diva if she was an actress in the 2000s because she knows what she wants and isn't scared to ask for it.

pls ask me for explanation/context behind a pin off her board because i would be so happy to answer xx

[chthonic-cassandra]

Have been reflecting on my year of reading, which unfortunately has not been one of my best.

I read a number of interesting books that I was glad to have read (perhaps I'll post a list of some of the best next week), but very few that truly astonished me, that gave me a powerfully new experience or that taught me deep and new information.

There are a lot of possible reasons for this that I'm trying to think through. One of them is that I'm probably adding books to my to-read list too indiscriminately - I don't have a high bar for adding books because I read so quickly that it's not much of a time investment, but this year I read a lot of middling recent releases and, while I'm happy to take a chance on things and I think I learn a lot from reading books that don't quite work, when my reading is so much skewed in that direction it makes for a rather dispiriting total experience.

Another thing that I think is going on, though it feels arrogant to say this directly, is that it is really the reality that between my early teens and mid twenties I did actually read through most of the major works of what gets understood as the so-called western canon. I don't regret doing this the way that I did - the experience of being a teenager and for the first time reading Hugo and Faulkner and Henry James and Nabokov and Rushdie and George Eliot and Tolstoy and Morrison and Carter (and and and) was such an amazing one. But it means I can't have that experience again!

In the years since, I've gotten to grow as a reader in other ways, largely by actually exploring great literature from other parts of the world that gets left out of the 'canon', and that's been fantastic for me, as has more seriously delving into SFF as an adult. But actually really following through on a lot of those explorations has been much harder without academic library access, and I often find myself running up against the limits of what I can figure out how to obtain.

So. What to do about this. Prioritize getting back academic library access, clearly, and figuring out how to fit visiting my undergraduate institution's library into my schedule (which is hard - even getting to the public library weekly has been tough sometimes this year). Maybe I need to stop add things to my to-read list so readily, or get more willing to stop a mediocre novel midway through, even if I feel like I am learning something by analyzing its flaws.

But I think I also need to prioritize rereading much more. Many of my most rewarding reading experiences this year were in fact rereads, and while I can't ever have the experience of reading Eliot (& etc) for the first time, I can have the experience of reading her for the second or third. And maybe I'm entering a stage in my life where that's more what I need, where I want to sit with things and deepen my experience of them rather than always taking in new material.