#so in summary it's got some flaws but i really enjoyed my time with the game

[beetlejuicyy]

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Yearning | Shinazugawa Sanemi x reader

Summary: you get very horny after your first mission with Sanemi

Warnings: !nsfw! smut with some plot

Word count: 8,216

Read it on AO3

Notes: I needed to get this out of my system after watching the movie

Masterlist

The most annoying thing about you was that you were friends with Tomioka Giyuu, Sanemi thought as he stole glimpses at you from the corner of his eye. He couldn't stand that guy. The way he looked upon others was always from a superior point of view. The way he talked, rarely and unbothered, was always a favor for anyone who could hear him. You were the same, somewhat worse. On top of all of Tomioka Giyuu's flaws, when you would open your mouth to talk daggers seemed to stab him. You were brutally honest when provoked by him and almost too sure of your own strength. The big difference, however, was that Shinazugawa Sanemi wanted to kill Tomioka for his attitude, while he wanted to fuck you out of it.

He never really knew how to talk to you. Granted, he would never act based on his feelings or let them show in any way. He admired you for your strength as well as your beauty. While he did respect you as one of his fellow Hashira, his eyes would always slip down your body, too weak to resist the way your uniform fit on your curves, the soft skin of your exposed neck or your long hair that always smelled like summer flowers. He would soon fight with himself to stop staring at you, afraid that someone might notice. He would always find moments when he was sure no one was looking, not even you, to see from the distance how bad your injuries were after a mission and he would try to find out if you were fine from the people at the infirmary. But he would never tell you. You rarely ran into each other because of countless missions back to back, both of you being Hashira. You worked on your own most of the time, backed up by lower ranked demon slayers or alongside Tomioka on tougher missions, simply because you got along very well. You and Shinazugawa met occasionally in training, although rather seldom, and during the official meetings at the Ubuyashiki manor. He felt the need to get closer to you, but he didn't have the means to do so. So he resorted to what he knew best, attacking Tomioka indirectly, knowing that you won't miss the chance to step in and try to outsmart him with another witty remark. Most of the words exchanged between the two of you were on a passive-aggressive tone and he was certain that his feelings, buried deep inside his heart, were concealed by the well-known rivalry.

Although he noticed this method was effective in getting your attention, Shinazugawa didn't know exactly to what extent you enjoyed this type of bickering. You too found him annoying. Sometimes he would talk more than needed and he had too good of an opinion about himself. He was cold and senseless sometimes, too focused on the details to be able to see the bigger picture. He wasn’t exactly the nicest person you could stumble upon, but he wasn’t a bad person either. Shinazugawa was hard to approach, intimidating and challenging but most of all you loved getting him angry. Tomioka didn't need anyone stepping up for him, and you didn't do it for your friend's sake anyway. You simply enjoyed to hear Shinazugawa's raspy voice grow in volume and see the anger in his eyes whenever he would feel intimidated, belittled or dismissed. He was hot, you thought one day, appalled, as he ran after Giyuu almost attacking him physically, if it hadn't been for the other Hashira. But you never let it show. You were sure he hated you as much as he hated your friend. You had to be a veritable masochist to have a crush on a guy like him.

Now, despite your reputation as arch enemies, you had been sent on a mission together. It was almost strange to see how well the two of you got along, especially on the battlefield, when you weren't pressured to hide the obvious from other people. You soon noticed that, contrary to his unfriendly nature, Shinazugawa paid a lot of attention to you, conveyed in small gestures.

"Look, the owner said his wife is a healer." He said in the softest voice you ever heard him talk, offering you a small bottle filled with a herbal mixture. You had travelled for a couple of days by that time and stopped at an inn on your way to grab something to eat. When you looked at him questioningly, he looked the other way. "You have been in pain since this morning." And indeed you were feeling some discomfort, altough you never said a word about it, because, before being a demon slayer, you were a woman with a natural body cycle. Maybe he really was a gentleman, although you would have never guessed it, you thought on multiple occasions. Then again, you would remember how everyone saw him and you shook the thought off your mind.

The demon you were after was hard to track. It took a couple of weeks to find its whereabouts, plenty of time for you and Shinazugawa to get comfortable around each other. He was actually sweet, you found yourself thinking as he did his best to maintain a conversation. You liked the sound of his laugh, although it was closer to a low giggle, whenever you tried to crack a joke. You’ve never heard it before but it made your heart flutter a little. Even the silence started to feel comfortable. After a couple of days of trying to find different topics to talk about, you learned a lot about him, although it was only trivial aspects of his life. By now, simply exchanging looks was enough to understand each other.

The fight too place near a small village hidden in the mountains. It was a powerful demon, even though both of you were two of the strongest demon slayers. Shinazugawa’s injuries were worse than yours and he almost lost consciousness by the end of the battle, but you took care of him until the morning, when the people from the village came. They were beyond grateful to you so, in exchange for your services, the head of the village offered to have you stay at the onsen until you regained enough strength for travelling back home.

***

Usually, after a fight, you would sleep like a baby. It was the deepest and most restful sleep that allowed your body to heal properly. No dreams to keep your mind busy, no need to wake up thirsty or any other reason could compromise the sweet moment of relaxation after driving your body to its maximum strength. But this time was different. Maybe because you had spent so much time with Shinazugawa, or maybe those few hours until sunrise while you tended to his injuries were to be blamed. But you had a wet dream. You woke up, confused and well aware of the fact that you were wet. You could still remember all the details, all the positions you imagined yourself in, the way his voice sounded in your ears while grunting and moaning your name, his white hair wet sticking to the back of his neck and his forehead because of sweat, sounds of skin slapping against skin, his palm pressed open just below your navel as he thrusted into you- No. You shook your head, trying to get it out of your mind. You had a crush on him, yes. You found him attractive, yes. You occasionally had dirty thoughts about him. But this was getting out of hand. The worst, still, was that the dream didn’t even help with anything, it only made you aware of how attracted you were to him, how horny he made you feel. It was because you spent so much time together, for sure. Also, the adrenaline of the battle could have this type of side effects in the body often. You could lie to yourself as much as you wanted, but you had never experienced it with anyone else before, you knew that. Now that you were thinking about it, it was around two weeks or so since he gave you that painkiller for your period.

You were ovulating.

The realization left you feeling even more helpless. In any other case, you could hope to fight it, hide it, ignore it. But now, aware of your hormones going crazy inside your body for a few days, you could do nothing about it. It made you feel helpless. The thought of fucking Shinazugawa couldn’t leave your mind. Come to think about it, he was very kind to you these past few weeks. He couldn’t… No. Or maybe there was a small chance he did? Small gestures, kind words, playful and easy going behaviour, all these things were the total opposite of what you expected of him. Could he like you?

***

Despite the blood, sweat and dirt covering your body after fighting a demon, you still smelled like the flowers in summer. Yes, now that his nose was barely touching your shoulder he could fell that it wasn’t only in your hair, the soft and sweet smell was everywhere on your body. Sanemi desperately wanted to open his eyes to see you, but he was too exhausted. The warmth of your body covered him like a thin blanket and he found it in himself to force his hand to grab you by the sleeve. But there was no sleeve because he felt the warm skin of your arm and almost heard the soft coo of your voice when you told him to stay still. Using the last drop of strength that he had, his eyes were obliged to open, even faintly between lashes, to witness your body leaning over his. Above your waist, your body was covered only in your undergarments, hence your bare arm that he was still clinging to. If he hadn’t been covered in blood you could probably see his skin turn to a shade of red, as the silky skin of your chest was only inches away from his face.

Shinazugawa turned around on the futon for the hundredth time. He had been awake for a while now. When he woke up, his body sore and his mind cloudy, the first thing he noticed was that the material around his arm resembled his own uniform. He quickly remembered getting stabbed there, it probably was the deepest wound on his body. So that’s why you were undressed, Shinazugawa thought. Indeed, he hadn’t been hallucinating. You used your own shirt to improvise a tight bandage on his arm in order to reduce blood loss.

Not long after he woke, a girl working at the onsen brought him water and a tray with food. He didn’t have an appetite but munched on it anyway, knowing it will help him build back his strength.

“How is she?” He asked the girl while she was pushing the door closed as she exited theb room.

“Your colleague?” He nodded. He didn’t like the word colleague, it was too formal and too cold for what he wanted you to be. At the same time, he didn’t know how to refer to you. “She’s still asleep, I believe. Thanks to her first aid skills your body is quicker to recover than expected.” Part of him was relieved now that someone confirmed your safety. The last thing he remembered was defeating the demon together, but collapsing to the ground shortly after, losing control over his worn out body. Glimpses of you flashed in Shinazugawa’s memory chaotically. However, your clothes as his bandage was proof enough that they were not just a product of his imagination.

“I need to change these bandages. Bring me some?” The girl bowed and left quickly. She probably had a lot of work to attend to or rather she was scared of him to some extent.

When the girl came back she was not alone but accompanied by the owner of the onsen, whose face Shinazugawa didn’t remember since he was already unconscious when the villagers arrived, and another man who seemed to be a doctor.

“I can handle it myself.” He quickly dismissed them when, after offering his gratitude once again for killing the demon, the owner suggested that the young girl would help him wash up while the doctor checked up on his body. No additional pleas were allowed. The girl left a basin with fresh water and a basket of clean bandages and ointment by the futon and they left the room.

More than anything, Shianzugawa wanted silence. But he couldn’t have it. Now that the mission was fulfilled, there was nothing else to keep his mind busy and distract him from you. Moreover, you would be leaving soon. He loved having you all to himself. And you seemed to like it too, he would think sometimes. You were not as irritating as before and, to his surprise, all the things he found difficult about you turned into qualities that he appreciated. It was only Tomioka’s fault, he mumbled to himself. What he most afraid of was that, once you would be back home, you would go back to spending time with that bastard. All this time you shared would be forgotten and everything would go back to normal.

“Shinazugawa? You’re awake?” Shinazugawa’s bared back was turned to the door as you opened it carefully. He was sitting on the floor, checking some minor wounds. He turned around to look at you, his breath stuck in his throat as he noticed you were wearing only a thin robe loosely tied around the waist. It exposed your chest to a degree he’s never witnessed, granted that your uniform was always buttoned up and covering your breasts entirely.

“Y-yeah.” He quickly found his voice and shifted on the futon, turning to face you. He was only wearing a pair of clean pants. The upper side of his body was covered in bruises or bandages and he was barefoot. “Good job on the mission.” He blurted out, without even thinking about it. He felt pressured to talk, thinking that conversation would distract you from noticing the effect your attire had on him. But you started walking towards him and, with every step, he felt his heart beat faster and faster. His expression was stern and seemingly uninterested, but his eyes alone travelled from your bared calves along the line of your legs until they were completely hidden by the robe, high enough that he expected to see the colour of your panties with every step you took. You didn’t have anything underneath that robe, it was obvious from the way the lose knot around your waist could come undone any minute, from the generous amount of chest that was exposed, from the way one of your sleeves was hanging lower than the other, almost revealing your bare shoulder. Shinazugawa was thirsty. He felt his lips part without control in an awed expression as you crouched down next to him and placed your palm on his forehead. He was thirsty, but water could never quench the kind of thirst he had.

“I was afraid you would catch an infection with all those open wounds. You seem fine.” It was embarrassing how difficult he found it to swallow his own saliva.

“I’m perfectly fine.” He pushed your hand away gently. If you touched him for one more second, he was afraid his heart would burst. He couldn’t look away from you though. There was something about you he had never seen before. And it wasn’t only the way your nipples poked against the thin material of the robe you were wearing, although it was a very compelling sight.

“We're at an onsen. It would be a shame not to take advantage of it.” You said standing up. He would take advantage of you, Shinazugawa though but tried to control himself, given that the bulge growing bigger in his pants couldn’t be controlled. “I just can’t find any towels in my room.” You complained looking around his room. It was such a stupid excuse. Of course there were no towels, they would be by the water, not in every room, so you could grab them on your way. But it was the only idea you could come up with, having your mind clouded by the excitement you felt in your lower belly when you thought about Shinazugawa. It was even harder to act normal when you saw him, shirtless, messy white hair, the muscles on his back flexing as he turned to face you.

“I think you can find them there.” He answered. You turned around on your heels, biting your lip. He looked so good. Your fingers itched to touch all of his scars, on his arms and chest and abdomen and go even lower.

“Why don’t you come with me?” You blurted out.

“We would be in different areas anyway.” He replied. It made sense, usually there were separate spaces for men and women. But that wasn’t enough reason for you, especially not after seeing him in that state. You needed him very badly. At this point, you didn’t even bother to think if the feeling was mutual or if you were making a fool of yourself. You would do anything to ride Shinazugawa’s cock.

“Oh, come on.” Your voice was louder and higher in pitch than you expected. “The building is empty, save the guy at the reception. We’re the only people here.” The idea of getting in the hot water with you left Shinazugawa speechless. He could only imagine what was hiding under that robe and you were giving him the chance to find out.

***

You got in first while he turned around to give you some privacy until your body was covered in the cloudy water. It was great for your tired bodies, soaking in thermal water. But you weren’t here for that. You didn’t even feel the difference in temperature, since your body was already burning with lust.

“Hey, don’t look.” He said, embarrassed, when you gestured for him to come in. You playfully covered your eyes like a child, though peeking between your fingers to see Shinazugawa as he was getting undressed, catching a glimpse of his already hard dick. You quickly moved your fingers to cover your eyes, so he wouldn’t know. But the sight had already done irreversible damage to your mind. He couldn’t help but constantly think about the fact that you were naked under that water. So he tried to keep a decent distance between the two of you, not too big to become awkward but not too small so you couldn’t accidentally touch him and notice his dick was painfully hard. But you would always close the distance between the two of you. You would shift your position all the time, showing him something or pretending you didn’t hear what he was saying. When you moved, the water level would shift with you, revealing more or less of your round breasts, but never all of it.

“It looks so much better.” You said, getting the closest your ever got to him, as you gently touched his arm where you had bandaged it the night before.

“Sleep helps a lot.” He said, aware of the fact that, if you moved one inch closer, you would feel his dick against your belly.

“I tried my best so you wouldn’t get another scar.” You continued in a low, seductive voice that you didn’t know you possessed. Your fingers ran along Shinazugawa’s scarred skin, from his muscular arm up to his shoulder, brushing against his bony clavicle. “You already have so many.” He let out a hot breath as your fingers continued their way on his chest where two long scars crossed each other in an x shape. “But I always thought they’re hot.” Your touch moved even lower, on the scar that was travelling along his abdomen. By now, your hand was already underwater.

“Y/n…” Shinazugawa breathed out your name, almost moaning it. It was torture to him. You could at least say what you wanted from him, straight to his face, without killing him second by second with ghostly touches and promiscuous words. “What are you doing?”

You looked up at him through your lashes, your eyes hungry with lust. It was unbearable for him.

“What do you think I’m doing?” The sarcasm lingering in your languid voice reminded him of all the arguments you usually had. Shinazugawa grabbed you by the chin carefully but firmly enough to force your head back to look up at him. You never thought his rough hands damaged by countless fights with demons could be this gentle.

“I think you’re being desperate.” His lips moved dangerously close to yours, though never touching, as he leaned his face towards yours. “And I’m running out of patience.” His eyes were so demanding that your hand rested just above his navel, not daring to go lower as long as he was forcing you to look at him.

“I could see that.” You mouthed back, obviously referring to his erection.

“Then do something about it.” He muttered between his teeth. You didn’t need anything more. Pressing your body against his, you kissed him roughly and he let you get whatever you wanted for a while. It was almost amusing to Shinazugawa, to see how hungrily your lips pressed against his, how desperate your tongue was to circle with his. The pressure of your flesh against his dick didn’t provide the friction he needed, but it was promising enough. Your hands were all over his body, craving to have no inch left untouched. He grabbed you by the hips, holding you still as you were already standing on your tippy toes to be able to kiss him. Shinazugawa had lost count to how many fantasies he had imagined in his head before, but he was sure he never dared to dream you would be this hungry for him. Your lips soon left his and moved down to leave wet trails on his jaw and along his neck, biting and sucking. You heard him hiss in pain a few times, which only made you even more aroused. Every sound that was coming out of his mouth was so hot, so stimulating that it only made you even more desperate for him.

Shinazugawa let you do as you pleased for a while. After all, it was extremely satisfying to him to have you all over himself. He might have gotten bored though, because one of his hands grabbed you by the hair and forcefully pulled your face away from him. You whined in pain and frustration.

“You’re such a needy whore.” Your lips were swollen and your eyes darkened as you looked back at him. He let go of your hair as he kissed you, arms circled around your waist to keep you as close to him as possible. This time, he was in control and you had no way of regaining dominance as his tongue roughly pushed against your lips, forcing its way inside your mouth. Your breasts were tightly pressed against his chest and you felt the desperate need for friction between your legs. But Shinazugawa’s hands moved down your back, grabbing your ass, fingers digging painfully deep into your flesh. You whimpered against his mouth, but not because of the pain. He had you paralysed now. You couldn’t move your hips against him anymore.

***

You didn’t know how you got out of the water, briefly patted your bodies dry with some towels and put on robes to cover yourselves in case an employee would see you on the hallway. You only remembered Shinazugawa’s tight grip on your hand as he dragged you after him, rushing back to his room. He slammed the sliding door open and allowed you to step in first. You barely let him closed the door, your hands already pulling at his robe that was already undone. He pushed you against the wall, cornering you. There was nowhere to run, his large body covered yours with ease. In a totally unexpected gesture, he brushed his fingers through your damp hair, as if trying to make sure you were really there with him.

You were taken aback by this change in pace and atmosphere. But he hissed in pain and only now did you become aware of the fact that you had been too focused on your own needs, to such an extent that made you forget his body wasn't in such a good condition as your own.

"Shinazugawa?" You called out his name as you gently sat with him on the floor. He snorted at the formal way his surname sounded out of your mouth. The same mouth that was so ready to swallow him whole a few moments ago. "I'm sorry, we can stop if you can't-"

"No!" He quickly dismissed the idea. After years of hidden feelings and wet dreams he was so close to having you. He would not lose the chance.

"But your body is-" You tried brushing the white strands of hair out of his face to see him and your fingers felt the uneven texture of the scar on his forehead.

Shinazugawa didn't bother arguing with you. He simply kissed you again, slower this time, more sensual and intimate. It felt as if the roughness and hunger from before were only the outer layer to something deeper that he wanted to convey to you and you let him have his own pace, although the heat between your legs was aching. He seemed to know that, because he grabbed your hand and guided it down between your legs. You instinctively spread them open, anticipating. Guided by his hand, your fingers slowly rubbed circles against your clit and you moaned against his mouth.

"Touch yourself for me." He said. For a moment, you thought that he meant for you to please yourself because he wasn't able to. But, as he pulled away from you and placed his palms behind him on the wooden floor, leaning back to see you better, you noticed that the brief moment of vulnerability was gone from his eyes. He was demanding, exactly as he sounded. His robe was covering only his arms and shoulders as it fell down at his sides and spilled on the floor, undone, his bared body fully exposed to your eyes. Your eyes took in the sight, with great attention to his throbbing cock that seemed to invite you to touch it. At first, you found it akward and embarrasing, especially feeling the pressure of his eyes watching your every move, eager not to miss one bit of it. But you've done it many times before, you've touched yourself with him on your mind so many times. On top of that, his presence quickly changed from an impediment to a huge turn on. You saw the way he licked his lips as he watched you, flinching at every sound you let out. More than anything you were desperate for his dick that was proudly sticking hard against his lower abdomen like a prize you could get only if you passed this test. So you continued to stimulate yourself.

Shinazugawa was fascinated by you. He was under some kind of spell, eyes focused on your body, taking in every bit of detail. How wet you were becoming, the small mole on your inner left thigh, your exposed neck as your head fell back in pleasure. He touched himself too, placing his palm at the base of his cock, stroking it faintly in order to relieve some of of the tension in his entire body. As much as he couldn't wait to fuck you, something else inside him took even more pleasure from witnessing your filthiest, most sexual self. And you were doing it just for him.

"Say my name. My own name." Shinazugawa's command covered the sound of your mewls. You've done that before as well. Alone, in your room, while everybody slept, you would moan his name as you masturbated. His name, not his surname that you asdressed each other by, the name you couldn't call him by out loud.

"Sanemi." You moaned. You always thought his name was moanable.

"Fuck." He breathed out, as your voice found its way inside his body, driving him closer to orgasm. "Say it again."

"Sanemi." You obliged. With eyes half open you saw him touching himself as well.

"Again." He grunted.

"Sanemi I'm-"

"Don't cum." He warned, figuring out from the way your voice cracked that you were close. You gently hit your head against the wall in frustration, forcing your hand away from your throbbing clit. You were so close. When you looked back at him, he was already sitting on the futon, gesturing for you to come next to him. With shaky legs, you crawled on all fours towards him. He greeted you with another wet kiss, his hand cupping one of your breasts, his thumb running circles around your nipple.

"I want to ride you." You pleaded against his lips.

"Only if you ask nicely." He grinned. Although he was composed and teasing, the way you were so straight forward about your desires made his head spin in exicitement. You gently pushed your palms against his muscular chest and he lightly fell with his back against the futon.

"It wasn't a question." You said as you straddled him.

Shinazugawa watched as you climbed on top of him, biting his lower lip in satisfaction whe he felt your soft plushy tighs press against his hips. He put both his hands under his head, looking at the curves of your body on top of him, at the way your hair was falling over your shoulders, covering only small parts of your breasts. From the first moment he saw you, he felt attracted to your body. But now that he was witnessing it completely naked, in all its beauty, he was sure you had to be a goddess.

He allowed you to do whatever you pleased with him. At first, you only rubbed your folds against his dick lightly, rocking your hips in a slow back and forth motion on top of him. He could feel that you were dripping wet, your juices covering him all over. You placed one hand on his chest for support as you picked up the pace, your cunt finally getting the friction it needed for so long. Shinazugawa moaned in response, stimulated by your movements. The sound was so beautiful to your ears. You were determined to make him more vocal. And you did, as a grunt from deep inside his throat came out when you slowly slided his cock inside your welcoming walls. You took your time, adjusting to his girth. Your eyes were glued to his face, trying to memorize as much of his expression as possible. Lips parted, eyes half closed and cheeks flushed, white hair spilling on the futon like a halo around his head. Your first moves were painfully slow for him. The muscles on his arms were tensed and he seemed like he was putting a lot of effort into keeping his hands to himself and not thursting into you as hard and fast as he needed. But the look of ecstasy on your face as your rolled your hips gradually faster, your breasts bouncing with every move, wet sloppy sounds filling the room in a rapid rhythm and your moans, god especially your loud moans as you used his body to please yourself, all of these were making Shinazugawa feel more than satisfied.

Soon, he had to grab you by the hips because, in your desperation to feel him as deep as possible inside, your movements became chaotic and violent, losing pace and balance. He held you in place, his fingers digging deep into the skin of your hips. Supporting yourself on one arm securely placed on his chest, you managed to find his hand and pushed it back towards your ass. His large hands moved to your back as you guided him, grabbing your ass and pushing your body even more against his cock. The sharp sound of his palm slapping your ass as you bouced up and down his dick echoed in the room, sending a flash of pleasure right to your core and your head fell back in pure pleasure. You moaned loudly, probably the loudest so far, and he felt the consequences of it as your walls tightened around him.

"That's right you're so fucking loud." He said and he slapped your ass again, obtaining the same chain of reactions from you.

Sweat was dripping all over your body and you were running out of breath, but the way his cock felt inside you was addictive. Your hand moved to your clit, feeling like the stimulation wasn't enough to drive you to your orgasm, but Shinazugawa's hand pushed yours away. He laid his palm flat against your belly, pushing against your flesh as his thumb found your clit and provided the additional stimulation you needed. There was a puddle of your fluids forming around the base of his cock, as your hips rose and fell on top of him over and over again. Shinazugawa knew better than spilling his seed inside you. Instead, he concentrated on driving you to your high, noticing how your whole body tightened around him, your muscled tensed and eyes tightly shut, all your senses focused on the way his cock rubbed against your walls hitting your sweet spot over and over and over.

Your moans turned into whimpers and then into uneven breaths as you got closer to the edge. But there was one missing thing to get you there. Intuitively and out of pure erotic instinct, Shinazugawa's hand reached your neck, grabging it between his thumb and index finger, putting enough pressure for you to feel lightly choked. You looked down at him despite your blurry vision, his eyes already locked on yours. You gasped for air while your hips slammed against his uncontrollably. His thumb stimulated your clit and your vision whitened as you finally came, your moan reveberating in the room covering the sound of your bodies. You pressed your hips one last time against his body, taking his lenght as deep as it could go, as you chased every last drop of that numbing pleasure that spread trough every nerve in your body making your legs shake. Your heart was beating at a rapid pace to the brink of failing inside your chest as you removed yourself from him, falling on your back next to him.

With the weight and warmth of your body gone, Shinazugawa took it upon himself to reach his own orgasm. His cock was covered in your juices mixed with precum as he wrapped his fingers around it. He turned to look at you, finding the most arousing sight. Your chest was moving up and down as your lungs filled with air and released it, your brests jiggling slightly with every move. You were covered glistening in sweat, legs still pressed together to find every last bit that was left of that sweet high you had reached. On your hips he could see the marks of his fingers turning purple. But the expression on your face, that was the most rewarding thing for him. Furrowed brows, lips slightly parted, hair sticking to tour temples as you let out soft whimpers. All of this because of his cock. He came quick enough, groaning with his eyes closed, your ravished image still impregnated in his mind.

But it was just the beginning. Although releasing his seed eased some of the tension built up in his body, Shinazugawa was nowhere near done with you. Soon enough you felt his heavy weight over your worn out body and opened your eyes in surprised to look at him, towering over you. His cock was laying on your belly, his balls rounded full with arousal ghosting above your skin.

"I hope you've had your fun." He said, "It's my turn now." The look in his eyes was so animalistic as he spoke, you felt your insides twist in satisfying ache as arousal was building up inside you once again.

You cupped his face with both your hands as you kissed him, hungry for his lips, for his touch, for his throbbing cock again inside you. He groaned against your mouth, one hand finding your breast and grabbing it harshly, the soft plush flesh of it squeezed in his rough hand. You whined in response and then he slapped it, gaining an even louder cry of pain from you. Your legs desperately found his waist and tried to get a hold of them, but he pulled away from you, grabbing you by the thighs and forcing you to turn around on the futon, face down, as he ripped the robe you still had on away from your body. His palm hit your bare ass lightly and you quickly understood the command, rising your hips from the floor and up in the air, supporting your weight on your knees.

"Good girl." He cooed in approval as his hands held you in place.

You were expecting his cock to penetrate you any minute now. Instead, he took his time to take in the view of your waist that curved generously into your hips and ass exposed just for him, as the air of the room felt cold compared to your burning, soaked cunt.

"Sanemi..." You cried out. You couldn't see his face, but the sound your voice whining out his name so pathetically got him even cockier than before and his lips curled in a half grin.

"Hmm?"

"Please..." You felt him so close to you, but not close enough. Your pussy ached for his thick cock but you could't even find some sort of consolation with your ass up, legs unable to come close to each other as his own knees were pushing yours open.

"You're not so bold anymore." You didn't need to see his face, the arrogant tone in his voice said everything you needed to know.

The only thing you could do from that position was push your hips back towards him, in hopes that you'll earn some friction. But his hands stopped you as soon as you moved, holding you in place as he clicked his tongue critically. He leaned over your back, grabbing a fistful of your hair and you felt his cock press against your cunt. It was only a feeble touch but enough to have your eyes roll in stimulation as he pulled you by the hair, forcing you to arch your back.

"If you insist on behaving like a slut I'll treat you like one."

That's exactly what you so desperately wanted and he quickly fulfilled his promise as you felt his dick strech your walls once again. You groaned as he didn't lose any time for you to adjust, instead he just thrust in and out of you with violent and swift movements and you had to place your hands firmly on the futon to resist the force he was pushing into you or else your body would have slipped. But he had full control of your body, one hand on your hips pushing your ass back towards his body as he rammed his dick inside you over and over, the other hand a tight grip on your hair, pulling you towards him. The angle allowed him to hit new and untouched spots inside you, and the stimulation that his aggressive movements provided was numbing all your other senses. You didn't feel the pain in your scalp when he pulled you by the hair, you didn't feel your back aching because of the unnatural way it was bending, you didn't feel the strain on your knees, already overworked from riding him, you didn't feel your arms almost giving up, unable to support your body anymore. You only felt his cock slamming into you, his balls hitting your folds with every move.You could only hear his grunts and pants on top of the wet sound of flesh slapping against flesh relentlessly. Your walls tightened around him as you were slowly getting closer to your second orgasm.

But even though ecstasy was numbing everything else and the only thing you could discern was how good his fat cock felt inside you, your body was bound to break down at some point. And it did, because the hands you used to support the upper half of your body slipped and you fell face down on the pillow. Shinazugawa's reflexes followed suit as his hand let go of your hair and both his muscular arms hugged your waist, holding your body in place while he never stopped pounding into you. Now that he was leaning over your back, arms roughly holding your waist, his face buried in your soft hair, you could clearly hear all the unholy sounds coming out of his mouth close to your ear. He was in pure bliss. Contrary to the wet and sticky state of your bodies and the room that was filled with the smell of sex, your hair still embraced him in a fresh and sweet scent that he had always associated with you. Your fists were grabbing the pillow tightly, toes curling in pure pleasure. You moaned in pain as you felt him sink his teeth into the back of your shoulder, groaning like an animal as his movements became uncontrollable and messy, lacking the rhythm and structure they had before. You desperately forced your hand to move under your belly and up between your legs to help yourself reach your high the second time. Shinazugawa was too far gone, too concentrated on his own plesure and his own instincts to even think about you at this point. He was thrusting inside you brutally, chasing his own orgasm, gutural sounds that resembled an animal more than a human coming out of his throat as his teeth were still sunk into your flesh.

But you came too fast. Because you rushed to touch yourself in addition to his cock stimulating your insides, you reached the second, more violent orgasm. It felt twice as much intense as the first and, if it hadn't been for the pillow that your face was buried into to mute your scream of pleasure, you would have woken up the whole village. Your walls tightened around his cock as you came but he wasn't done yet. Soon, you were overstimulated and crying under him. You couldn't fight back, you couldn't push him away or stop him from fucking your overly sensitive cunt. His whole weight was pushing down on you, his arms holding you immobilized as he used your body as a simple sexual object to get himself off. The pillow soon turned wet with your tears. You didn't even know if he was able to hear your cries over his own grunts.

You knew he was done when he moaned your name as came, his seed spilling on your back. You collapsed alongside him on the futon, his grip around your waist never losening. You felt sore and exhausted and used as you laid on your side with him behind you, hearing his deep breathes as he was starved for air. His arms, still securely wrapped around your waist, pulled you closer as he buried his face in your hair and only now you became aware of how sticky your bodies covered in your mixed juices were. It would be a lie to say you didn't enjoy the sense of safety and calm his warmth gave you. So you remained there, without saying a word, as both of your hearts reached a normal rate and your muscles relaxed, the hazy veil of arousal lifting from both your minds.

"I'm sorry for..." He started but he didn't finish his sentence.

It was fascinating to you how mellow his voice sounded, making it almost impossible to understand that the animalistic sounds from before came out of the same mouth. In response, you gently grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your lips, leaving a soft kiss on his knuckles. The same knuckles that yanked your hair, the same unyielding arm that held your body against your will against him, they were so weak and willing to follow your guidance.

"How...was it?" He sheepishly asked. You giggled while playing with his fingers. For some reason both of you still avoided seeing face to face.

"It was breathtaking." You said and felt him relax behind you, smiling reassured of your praise.

Soon enough your naked bodies started getting cold. He sat up even though you whined in protest like a little child. Only now did you dare to turn around and look at him, standing in the middle of the room completely naked, with his back turned to you. As he moved, your eyes followed his tall figure from the rounded calves to his ass and up his muscular back and wide shoulders, speding a bit too much time on the nape of his neck then fell back along the lines of his defined arms and slender fingers. You bit your lip, enjoying the view a little bit too much. If it hadn't been for the soreness and your already weakened body from slaying a demon a day prior you would have definitely gone for a third time.

"Sanemi?" You called out his name and it felt so natural, so domestic, so right that you wondered how you ever called him by his surname all this time.

"Yeah?" He turned his face to you instinctively, revealing his handsome profile.

"Nothing. I was just practicing." He scrunched his nose at you like a child and turned back, biting his lip because the sound of his name out of your lips still made him somewhat nervous. He came back to you with a bowl of water and some clean cloths that were left untouched when he fixed his bandages before. You were still on your back, finding another spot that stinged with pain every time you tried sitting up.

"No, it's fine I can do it myself." You quickly tried to dismiss him when he sat down next to you, drenching the cloth in water and touching your thigh to get your legs spread. It made you very nervous and somewhat embarrassed, having him clean you up.

"Shh." It was the only sound that left his lips, so gentle and so loving that you had to give up resisting.

He cleaned up your body with care and all you could do was simply stand there and look at him in awe. He helped you sit up, made you turn around, checking if there was anything left when he noticed the blueish marks on your hips. He leaned over your body, placing a soft kiss over the bruised skin like an apology. Your heart skipped a beat and your breath hitched. Butterflies exploded in your stomach and you couldn't take your eyes away from him. He was so handsome, so strikingly beautiful. He seemed to notice that you were staring because he smiled back at you.

"There's another one." You said as you brushed your hair away from your shoulder, turning to the side to show him the marks of his teeth on your skin. You didn't know how it looked but you could feel it swollen and pulsing and you guessed it looked worse than the marks on your hips.

"Ah... I'm sorry for... this." So this is what he wanted to say the first time. As he applied some ointment to your shoulder he couldn't help but notice that sweet flowery scent again.

"Can I ask you something?" He said unsure and you nodded. "I.. I always liked the way you smelled. Is it like a perfume or something?"

"I-I know you like gardenias..." You mumbled sheepishly. It was an old habit that you developed because of him. "I heard Genya talking about it once and I..." He chuckled in response to your voice cracking with embarrassment and you felt your cheeks burning.

"I only like them because they remind me of you."

"We're not very bright, are we?" You said, relieved.

"It is only Tomioka's fault." He rolled his eyes as he grabbed the covers, pulling them over both of your bodies.

"What?"

"If you weren't friends with him maybe you would have been easier to approach." He shrugged.

"Maybe if you wouldn't be so petty and hostile you would have been easier to approach." You spat back. Instead of getting angry like usual, he started laughing. The sound of his honest amused laugh warmed your heart instantly.

"Ah, this really feels like our usual conversations."

***

Tomioka sneezed for the third time in a row. It was beginning to get annoying how his training was interrupted by continuous sneezing. It was probably pollen from the trees.

"Someone must be talking about you." Tanjiro remarked.

╭─────────── ♱ · 𓆩🤍𓆪 · ♱ ───────────╮ ╰─────────── ♱ · 𓆩🤍𓆪 · ♱ ───────────╯

[erxxi3]

A Sloppy First With Carlos?

Pairings: Carlos Oliveira x Fem! Reader

Summary: You have been dating Carlos for quite some time and finally decide to let him claim you as his own, but it is more like some sloppy sex.

Cw. Smut (nsfw), p in v, praise, virgin reader gets their first time wit carlos, dom carlos?, some begging, needy/desperate reader, a bit body worship if you squint ur eyes just a bit, possessive & a bit of cocky carlos, relationship had already been established yet we skipping to the part of where he just gives u a sloppy first time just to enjoy every moment of him inside you! This man is gonna make you a milf after he’s done fr fr want u to be the momma to his kids. Some fluff at the end there is def aftercare but I got too lazy to write it….

A/N: I’ve never written for Carlos before, so this is my first time writing for him and feel free to give me feedback!

SMUT AHEAD!! MINORS DNI!

Carlos Oliveira is definitely a charming guy when it came to women, but that all changed when you came into his life. He became so tough and cocky around you and others that it made him the kind of guy who didn’t let himself be vulnerable in front of people. It also caused you to fall for him a little bit faster. That was exactly what you wanted. Someone strong, and not afraid of showing it. The only problem with your choice was that he wasn’t exactly someone to get along with very well and was even more of an asshole than he already was.

Not something you expected from a man like that. But if it meant you could feel secure in his arms, then so be it. You could live with any kind of attitude. If he just wanted to keep you safe then so be it. You wouldn’t mind at all, actually. You enjoyed being near him, even if it made your heart beat faster and butterflies flutter in your stomach. You thought his roughness was sexy, even if you were slightly scared of him sometimes. And as long as there wasn’t going to be too much violence in the future, maybe you would be able to handle things better. Just give him some time, yet It wasn’t like you couldn’t deal with the bad side of him.

I mean he could be a total dickhead at times, sure, but you could tolerate that, too. He still respected you, afterall, and that was what really mattered. As long as you were happy and satisfied in his arms. And you had been that all this time. All your years of dating with a guy like Carlos Olivera didn’t go wrong. He treated you right, despite your flaws and his ego.

His ego brings out the best in him wether it’s in bed or out of bed, so there is no doubt about what you saw with him in bed that night. He was absolutely gentle, but rough when he kisses you sloppily, his hands firm when they roamed your body, and he took his pleasure in making you squirm underneath him. His tongue is hot and insistent in licking every inch of your skin and his fingers are rough and warm when they caress your breasts through the thin cotton fabric of your tight dress. And his eyes. Oh, Carlos’ eyes looked as if they were dark pools filled with lust and possessiveness. Without hesitation he took off his pants dropping them to the floor, his erection already trying to poke out the side of his boxers. You tried to take his boxers off although he had prioritized in spreading your legs apart and placed his hard member between them, foremost, further apart.

Fingers had trailed straight under the waistband of your dress while his hands started ripping your dress off, and your bra followed. With quick movements he tore the straps and panties away leaving you bare beneath his gaze, completely naked from head to toe. His lips left yours. Carlos began to apply lube to his hardened and throbbing cock, before slowly inserting it inside you, setting a slow movement in and out of you in a way that was torturous in itself. You whimpered from the sensation, but his grip on your hips tightened making the pain go away momentarily. Sloppily beginning to thrust into you, his pace quickened until he hit a certain spot that made you scream with pleasure. “Oh, God...” you moaned breathlessly before closing your eyes.

You never felt that way with anyone else. This is not your first time to say the least, but definitely better than masturbation to say the least. It made you feel so incredibly sensitive that it left you weak, yet at the same time it made you feel powerful and desirable. “That’s my girl…” he growled in a deep voice, grabbing one of your wrists and positioning it over your head as he continued hitting your sweet spot with his thick shaft. You moaned again while tears filled your eyes from the intense pleasure he gave you.

Your breathing started becoming erratic as he kept slamming his heavy cock into you with such force. He held your face, placing soft kisses all over your exposed cheeks and neck, causing goosebumps to appear on your flesh. “You feel so good, baby...” he whispered against your ear. Soon following after with, “Fuck… I’m gonna cum if you keep this up...”

“Don’t stop...” you begged breathless, feeling a shiver go down your spine as Carlos continued pumping his stiffening cock inside you. He kept pressing harder, making you cry out and bite your lip hard to prevent yourself from begging for mercy. “Please don’t stop….” You could hear your own voice quiver slightly, almost like a sob. In a moment you lost your restraint, and threw your head back, arching your back as you screamed loudly. A loud moan escaped your mouth as waves of ecstasy washed over you, and your muscles started tingling from his relentless thrusts into you.

He was getting close, you could tell, and soon he won't hold himself anymore. “Carlos…” you murmured, unable to finish your sentence because your breath was short and labored, and your voice was hoarse from screaming out.

You needed him to get you to your climax and come, now, now, now, you thought.

“Please..please…” you whimpered, feeling your body shaking with both excitement and desperation. Suddenly, everything came rushing in.

The orgasm. Carlos.

Your surroundings. Carlos’ name coming out of your mouth, His scent surrounding your whole being. You felt as if you were being penetrated by a monstrous cock very sloppily, even though you were. His warm and hard cock rubbing against your inner walls in time with his frantic thrusts. “Almost there… ah- hold out a little longer, baby…” Carlos grunted out of breath, panting heavily, his entire body trembling. Your breathing was starting to come out ragged as well, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you climaxed once again. “That’s it, baby… Come for me…” The next few minutes passed by in a blur, each second passing with such intensity it was overwhelming you. Carlos finally stopped after a while, releasing his cum inside you.

Your throat was sore and raw from screaming and your muscles were tense and sore from all the stretching, while your back was arched which he forced you to do as your climax hit. Carlos laid beside you and pulled the sheets up around you as he kissed your temple. "Are you alright?" Your mind was fuzzy as you nodded and snuggled closer into his chest. "...Yeah," was your reply, barely above a whisper. Your eyelids were glued shut, as you struggled to stay awake.

Carlos chuckled softly. "Did I fuck you that hard?" You shook your head and mumbled in reply that you loved how wild he got. "Mmm...you're welcome." After a while you felt tired and sleep began creeping onto your consciousness. Carlos seemed to sense this and wrapped his arms tightly around you to keep you warm as he nuzzled his nose against your cheek. "Get some rest, baby," he said quietly. You hummed in response as you relaxed into his hold, letting yourself drift off to sleep.

You were so tired that you were able to ignore the sound of heavy breathing, but it eventually woke you up when the covers moved slightly. Opening your eyes, and noticing your boyfriend staring at you intently. "Hey...sorry did I wake you up? Go back to sleep..." he whispered kissing the top of your head as he ran his hands gently through your hair. You buried your face deeper into his chest, and let out a small sigh as you cuddled up to his chest. Carlos laughed again, running his hand through your hair one last time before turning off the light with his other hand and lying down behind you, holding you tightly.

"I love you so much..." he said softly, kissing the crown of your head gently.

"Goodnight..." you breathed out before finally closing your eyes and falling asleep, enjoying the soothing warmth of his embrace.

[thebowieconstricker]

Hello! I saw you wanted requests for Lucifer, and I would love any sort of angst where Lucifer ends up comforting the reader, like maybe something happened to the reader, or the reader is just really stressed and just breaks down

Ease My Mind

(Lucifer Morningstar x reader)

masterlist link

AN: To this request: yes yes yes yes YES I just KNOW that he gives the best hugs and is so ready to comfort the people he loves. For this fic, I decided the angst is a little of everything, job struggles, moral dilemmas, and some self-doubt, so I hope I delivered. This isn’t proofread so please alert me to any errors! Thank you for your request! <333

Summary: You have a bad day at work and it triggers a breakdown. Luckily, your big bad boyfriend is here to help.

Tags: Gender neutral reader, could be read as platonic if you reeeeally squint but it’s implied romantic, heavy on the angst, a dash of fluff, Lucifer is trying his best, you guys are precious.

Warnings: Reader is afraid they’re being used by the people around them and they have lots of thoughts about being useless and others not liking them.

Also, the title is inspired by the song “Ease My Mind” by Ben Platt, go listen to it! Enjoy ya heathens!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve been used by others for your entire life.

And now you were stuck in that same cycle in death.

As a young, naive, alive-person, you were desperate for some one to love you. Growing up in an environment where compassion was scare, you decided that the only way to get people to notice you was by offering to help them in some way. A favor, a ride, somewhere to crash, and, for one specific person, a place to hide the bodies. In life, you had gotten so deep into your desire to please others that you had latched onto the first person to give you the time of day. Unfortunately for you, that individual happened to have a thing for serial killing.

Looking back on it now as you miserably walked back to the hotel, tears threatening to fall down your face, you couldn’t think about anything other than how stupid and useless you were. It was your fault that they were found out, your fault that the innocents were dead in the first place, your fault you were stuck in hell and that fucker was still out there.

How much time had passed on Earth? How many more had they killed?

On most days, you could compartmentalize, putting the bad thoughts in a little box and shoving it in the back of your brain, but work had broken you today. You worked for the Vees, specifically Velvette, and it was no secret how they overworked and abused their staff. You were stuck picking up Velvette’s leftover energy drinks for as long as she had control of your soul.

And yet. You thought maybe someday, someday you might make a connection. You might impress her, or surprise her, or something, and maybe she would give you a break.

But no. Today you had been an hour late for the first time and Velvette had screeched at you, calling out all of your flaws and insecurities and bringing all of the horrible memories that you had oh-so-carefully stowed away to light. But you held back tears and did your fucking job, the emotions boiling all day and the hectic office space doing nothing to calm it.

You had needed this cry for a long time, and now there was no stopping it.

Walking along the brimstone pathways, you finally made your way to the rickety Hazbin Hotel. Its incomprehensible height only worsened your now growing headache as you walked up to the doors, grabbing the handles and swinging the heavy iron frame and red-stained glass open.

You immediately started towards your room, but you were blocked by the obnoxiously cheery Princess of Hell herself, Charlie.

Charlie’s not obnoxious, you’re so vile for thinking that.

Shit, the thoughts were getting worse and you could not do this right now.

Charlie, oblivious to your mood, smiled brightly. “There you are! How was work? I’ve got someone here who’s been waiting-“

You shoved past her, bumping her harshly.

“Not in the mood.”

Charlie frowned in confusion behind you.

“But, wait, hey-“ You ignored her pleas and- ah shit, now Angel’s in front of you.

“Hey, babe, you might wanna hang around for a sec-“

You shut your eyes tightly and moved your hands towards his chest, your fight or flight kicking in as you pushed him.

“ANGEL, leave me alone.”

Why would you yell at Angel like that? He’s just being nice.

Shut up shut up SHUT UP

Everything was only getting worse. You bolted to the grand staircase and raced up the steps. As you sped down the seemingly infinite hallways, the tears you had been fighting back for the last millennia finally fell. With a choked sob, you finally spotted your bedroom and lurched for the doorknob, swinging the door open and slamming it behind you as you bursted into your room. You ran to your bed and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly as you loudly cried.

Charlie only keeps you here because she needs the guests, you know. She hates you. They all hate you. They wish you weren’t here. You’re just lying there, crying, why would they want you?

The hateful thoughts were all you could hear in your mind. As you pulled your knees to your arms holding your pillow, you wanted nothing more than to disappear. To just pop out of existence and finally be free of the burden of yourself.

Then, suddenly, three knocks at the door.

“GO AWAY.” You screamed, throat on fire from your sobbing.

A voice came from outside. A smooth, relaxed, kind male voice.

“It’s me, hon.”

You froze, terrified. Quickly you climbed to the floor on the left side of your bed, blocking your body from the view of the door. You took several deep breaths, trying to steady your nerves.

“Come in.” You said shakily.

You heard the door creek open, then footsteps.

“Where ya hiding these days?” He awkwardly chuckled, clearly trying to lighten up the mood you were in.

“Just- stay over there.” You were still holding your pillow, and you gave it an extra squeeze.

“I’m a mess right now.” You sniffled.

He paused, like he was thinking. “Well, if that’s what you want, but I hope you know by now that I’m always happy to see you. Even when you’re a mess.”

You felt the bed shift. He was sitting on the opposite side.

Like a child looking for a secret, you turned around to look at the back of his head. His hat was gone, probably left downstairs, and all you saw was his sweep of blond hair.

He made a ‘hm’ sound. “Bad day?”

You nodded. Then, realizing he couldn’t see you. “Y-yeah.”

You watched him nod. “I’m sorry about that.” He fiddled with his cane, his hands tightening and loosening around it. “Would you… like to talk about it?”

You paused.

Lucifer had been a confidant of yours since you first arrived in Hell. He was the one to tell you what was going on right after you died, calming you down and offering you a place to stay. Sure, you didn’t know that he was literally the Devil, but everything about him made you feel at peace. Like you could deal with the hand you were dealt.

Secretly, though, you were waiting.

Waiting for the moment when he would reveal that he only kept you around because he needed you to do something for him.

No one was that kind, or caring, or wonderful.

He wants something from you. Why else would he keep coming back?

You had yet to answer his question. Lucifer sighed.

“You don’t have to tell me anything. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, okay?”

The voices were still wringing in your head, you were still crying, and you felt pathetic.

“I- I don’t- fuck, would you please stop acting like you care?” You knew your words were harsh but they were begging to be said.

His posture straightened in surprise.

“I do care! What makes you think I don’t care?” He sounded hurt.

Nice going, you hurt his feelings.

You bent forward, hands covering your face in frustration. A fresh wave of tears rises through your body and you loudly cried out, too scared and angry and sad to hide it anymore.

“Woah, woah, hey, it’s okay, hon.” Lucifer’s voice was nearing your form on the ground, and he was quickly at your side. You could feel his presence beside you.

He sighed in exhaustion. “Listen, I’m not- I’m not the greatest at this, but I’m gonna ask so I don’t upset you. Do you want a hug? Or a hand on your shoulder-“

Your arms were wrapped around him before he could finish his question, clinging to his waist and biting your face in his neck.

“WOAH there- well hey, sweetheart, there you are.” You could hear him smiling as he gently brought his hand to rub your back.

“I’m sorry. I- I’ve just had a shitty day at work and I’m worried about a lot of things and- I don’t want to take it out on you.” You were shaking, but he held you steadily.

“What kinda things are worrying you?” He asked.

And so you told him. In the comfort of his embrace you were able to somewhat coherently explain all the things that had been freaking you out. Velvette’s torture at work, your own moral dilemmas about your life on Earth, and you were just getting into your feelings about others using you when you felt Lucifer’s breath hitch.

He leaned away from you to look you in the eyes and gently put a finger to your chin.

“Honey, I want you to know that I know for a fact that the people here really care about you. Not because you’re an extra pair of hands, but because you’re you. You’re wonderful to be around. People like you.”

He looked at you with a warm smile and leaned towards you, giving you a small kiss on the forehead.

“I like you. I care about you because you’re worth caring about.”

You stared at him in awe, your mind finally at ease after such a chaotic day. Smiling, you leaned back into him to rest your head on his chest.

“Thank you, Luci.” You reached out and took one of his hands, holding it tightly in an effort to show him how grateful you truly were for his words of assurance.

He tightened his fingers around yours and grinned down at you.

“Always, love. Now, let’s get you on the bed, okay?”

You nodded and he gracefully picked you up, gently placing you on the bed. With a snap, you were in comfortable clothing with a warm blanket around you and plenty of soft pillows.

“You want me to hang out for a bit?” He looked at you through half-lidded eyes, clearly sleepy.

“If you don’t have anything else going on…” You offered, already half dozing off.

“Even if I did, I would love nothing more.” With an affectionate grin he curled up beside you, and you immediately went to lay your head back on his chest. As you drifted away, listening to the King of Hell’s heartbeat, you took a deep breath.

He was right. Things were gonna be okay.

You had friends.

You were loved.

[starry-bi-sky]

For the Danyal Al Ghul AU: How would Danyal react to other canon events like when Sam wishes she never met Danny, Tucker wishes for powers, the christmas episode, or other DP canon events?

(Also, I assume Danyal's cover is blown by the reality Gaunlet event.)

Ohooho I love this question. So im only gonna respond to the episodes you mentioned, since it's been a while since i actually watched the show and I don't remember all the episodes. And also since I don't remember them fully, I'm gonna get details wrong. I am fine with that, it still gets the gist down lol. I've got the tvtropes recap page pulled up, so i'll be using that to try and hit the major points it mentions.

So, Memory Blank! Man I've thought about that one, and its the one I'm frankly most excited to answer because it gets to show just how much of a positive impact being friends with Sam and Tucker had on Danyal. So where to start? Their fight goes differently than in canon, but I'm going to start from after Sam makes her wish.

Firstly; she and Tucker are friends, but the two of them are not friends with Danny. He's on his own. In this au, the three of them became friends when they were 11 and Danny's been in Amity Park for about a year.

They met in the beginning with Sam trying to befriend him at first because she realized that they shared similar ideals on environmentalism, but he rebuffed her pretty harshly due to a combination of grief over leaving his home, trying to process the fact that he can never return and will never see his brother again or meet his father, and just plain League arrogance lmao. He really hated being in Amity Park just in general because it wasn't his home and it was the city too.

So he was really rather unapproachable in the beginning. People kept a pretty wide berth of him due to Fenton association and his own vibes.

But Danny's still a kid, and they want socialization with their peers. At 11 he didn't have any friends, and was frankly quite lonely. He decided to approach Sam and Tucker after deeming them "acceptable allies", although Sam wasn't really interested at first up until he did the equivalent of apologizing. Tucker warmed up first afterwards, but Sam really wasn't too far behind.

So thats how they became friends, post-wish though? Lets say that Sam didn't accept the apology and rebuffed Danny, and kinda intimidated Tucker into doing the thing. Danyal closed down, backed off, and then never approached them again because he decided right then and there he wasn't going to chase it. Wasn't worth his effort or time.

Then he just. never approached another person after that because he didn't want to get rebuffed again (he wouldn't admit that it hurt a bit), and he could already tell his efforts wouldn't work. He turned his attention to other stuff. In this timeline it wasn't too difficult to find him at events dedicated to combatting climate change, deforestation, light pollution, animal cruelty, etc. the LOA is an environmentalist group, after all. They just also happen to be eco-fascist assassins-for-hire.

In summary, Sam and Tucker helped Danyal realize the flaws in some of the League's beliefs (the fascism) to the point where he could deconstruct it on his own. Being friends with them made him realize that, frankly, genocide was not the answer to environmental equilibrium, and that the people outside of the League had lives worth living. They also helped quell his arrogance, and just in general influenced him to become kinder even if it doesn't look like that all the time to other people. Sam and Tucker make him laugh, and smile, and just happy.

OG Danyal: wears pretty casual teen clothes. More punky-aesthetic. Has multiple ear piercings. These were self-done. Will have a lip piercing by the time he reunites with Damian, mark my words. Can and will wear muscle tees. Makes puns, jokes, is generally sassy with his friends. Can, will, and has climbed shit he shouldn't be because he enjoys the challenge of scaling a building. It's also very funny seeing Tucker and Sam reenact the "Gregory! HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE?!" meme. Still has a questionable moral compass, but like, he's not an eco-fascist.

This Timeline Danyal: dresses much more sophisticated; dark academia vibe. Closed off, cold. Is 2x more likely to kill someone than OG Danyal, who was frankly, pr kosher with murder already but only if he deemed it extremely necessary. Still an eco-fascist.

Danyal without Sam and Tucker? Still believes in the teachings of the League because he has not been really challenged on them. In fact, he has doubled down on it, actually. Living in the city, growing up estranged and ostracized by his peers, has only strengthened his resolve that all of humanity minus the league (and the Fentons) deserves to be wiped out. He is disgusted by the people around him and desperately wants to go home, even more than the last timeline. The only reason he hasn't is for Damian's sake, but he's been checking in with mother whenever she visits and asking to find a way to come home. She's been steadily wearing down on it; her child is miserable here.

This version of Danyal should not have powers, and is, essentially on the fast track of rejoining the league -- doubly so when he hears Damian is living with father. Clearly it's safe enough for him to be with father, if mother allowed it, and father has become safe enough for Damian to live there. Good. With the threat of two heirs being in the League gone, Danny can return with Mother's permission. And. he probably takes Jazz (and the Fenton parents) with him. Forcibly if he has to.

So Sam has her work cut out for her here, a lot more than in canon, because even when she does tell him that they used to be friends in another timeline, and he believes it, he is not going to give a shit. Clearly they were not as good of friends as she thought they were, if she had wished they never met in the first place. Good riddance, then. This Danny is cold, incredibly hurt, and very closed off.

He is a cave wall in comparison to the Danny Sam knew, and talking to him feels like walking into one. Because he is looking at her with just utter disgust and disdain, keeping a distance like he is revolted by her presence and allergic to her and everyone else's touch.

Which really, really fucking hurts when she knows that in their last timeline, he would actively seek out her and Tucker's company and affection. Sam could read her best friend like an open book, and now its like she's trying to read one in another language she barely speaks. This boy used to smile at her, he used to laugh at Tucker's jokes, and he was so passionate about the things he enjoyed. Now he looks at her like he wants nothing more than for her to drop dead on the spot.

It hurts even more knowing that her last words to her Danny were the words, 'some days i wish we never met'; the way he looked at her afterwards haunts her. For a split second, he looked completely crushed and heartbroken, before his entire body language and expression shut off and he totally closed down on her.

Because by this point in his friendship with her and Tucker, he's told them, he has told them, in a very intimate moment of vulnerability, that they are one of the best things that's happened in his life -- right there alongside the day he first met his baby brother. They are very important to him, and he has finally felt comfortable enough with telling them. There's not a day that goes by that he isn't grateful for their friendship.

So to hear Sam say that some days she wishes they never met? well. That breaks his heart. Just- just a little bit. Sam regrets it the moment it leaves her mouth, and she immediately tries to apologize, but Danny immediately spits back; "Well. I hope you get your wish." and then stalks off.

I'm warring with myself here trying to decide whether or not this new timeline Danyal is at a "point of no return", where nothing Sam says is going to make him attempt to reignite that friendship. Clearly that will end badly anyways, if this is the result of that friendship. He's cut all ties from these people; he feels no prerogative to fix things she broke.

Like, the version of Danyal I'm thinking of here has no close bonds with anyone in the city sans Jazz -- and she? has her own life outside of Danny. She is not his keeper, not his caretaker, and certainly not his therapist. (which i have beef about too, considering how she gets boiled down to 'therapist with no life of her own' but im not going into that.) She has some influence on him, but frankly not enough to really make him challenge his beliefs. Danny cares about her that, if he returns to the league, she is coming with him. Or at the very least, will be spared from the League's goals.

Mmmm. I can't make it a total point of no return though. Sam's very stubborn, and she knows Danny. And while this Danny is still very different, he is still Danny. She'll try and befriend him insistently in a way that might annoy him, but at least not push him away further.

(Tucker, meanwhile, is just soo confused about Sam's very random, very abrupt switch up. Cuz girl he thought you hated this guy? Why are you suddenly trying to get all buddy-buddy with the terrifying Fenton kid. Have you been possessed? Is this some kind of crisis?)

(Sam drags Tucker into befriending Danny because he is the only person she knows that can get him to belly laugh. Tucker is mildly terrified but going along with it.)

Anyways this does end with Sam befriending Danny, or at least getting him to like her long enough that he'll pick up a ghost weapon and face off against Desiree. There's no way in hell he's walking into that portal, that last timeline might have been a 1/billionth chance of it happening and he's not dying for the chance to get powers. And frankly with his training -- which he's probably kept up with even more than the old timeline because he had no one to spend his time with -- he doesn't really need them to be good at fighting them. Just show him how to ghost proof a weapon and he'll handle the rest from there.

But Sam does end up undoing the wish and getting back to her own original timeline in the end. It's the morning after her fight, and the literal first thing she does that morning is get her shoes on and fucking sprriiint to the fenton house. Bursts into tears when she sees Danny and apologizes over and over again. She swears she didn't mean any of it, and to please believe her, and Desiree's still loose and they need to stop her, and she's had the worst time.

She does tell him about the other timeline she just went through, and she hopes that, if it still exists, that that Danyal manages to find friends in the Sam and Tucker there after this. And if not them, then anyone.

Danny's still pretty hurt by what she said, it cut really deep, but he forgives her.

-----

Tucker getting his powers! Frankly things gooo... relatively the same as canon, I think? Actually, no. Danny probably figures out the whole Genie "i wish you would go back into your lamp" thing faster than canon danny since he's not a C student lmao. TV.Tropes doesn't give me too much specifics for a recap on the plot, so we're gonna wing it. For the plot I'm going to say that Tucker gets his powers before Danny figures out the "i wish" thing, which happens relatively quickly.

Danny tries to be... rather supportive of his friend getting powers? Especially since, in comparison to Danny, it was rather painless. However, he's also very suspicious. He doesn't trust the source of Tucker's powers, and warns him to be careful and to let Danny know if he feels off in anyway.

Tucker does end up helping Danny a few times, but the quick progression of his powers and Tucker's willingness to use them more often than not worries him. He reminds him a handful of times that Tucker shouldn't rely on his powers to help -- not even Danny does that. He prefers to use his weapons and martial arts to fight instead. Tucker doesn't listen.

And they end up fighting anyways. Things get resolved, everything turns out okay!

------

Christmas episode straight up just. doesn't happen. Danyal doesn't care enough about the Fenton arguing or about Christmas to be upset about said arguing. He thinks its really childish, but he's not a grinch about all of it.

--------

Okay it wasn't explicitly mentioned but i have thought about TUE. And I'm trying to think how that would go because it's the result of Danny getting his hands on the math answers and cheating. Which Danyal would not do.

And someone mentioned in the comments on my ao3 under the oneshots there that TUE might just straight up not happen. Which makes sense, Danyal is so different from canon that things don't have to always happen like it did in canon. So that's something I need to chew about, cuz if it does happen, then I'm going to figure out a different way for it to.

[itsgrimeytime]

he's such a pretty liar || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz @deadgirlrin

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Dialogue Prompts: 8 + 2

Inspiration: my boy by Billie Eilish

Summary: You and Rick had gotten along at some point, at the farm and prison. You were friends even. Until the Governor killed Hershel, which you believed to be perfectly preventable. Because of his inaction then, you'd gotten a bitter taste in your mouth at the thought of him and eventually, he started to reciprocate the behavior. But as time passes, and you experience more and more with him, is it really hate that you feel?

TWs: enemies to lovers (like fr though), yelling, mentions of death (Shane, Lori, Beth, and Hershel), mention of the Claimers scene, cursing, anger, nosebleed, bruising, love confessions, injuries, blood, and all things TWD.

[[A/N: This is based on Carl being mad at Rick after the prison. Rick do be stressed out, and he do be saying some terrible stuff, but like so are you. This gif is so 🫣💞🤭💞🤪. Anyway, enjoy :))) ]]

You weren't a bad person, and in that regard, you wouldn't say Rick was either. Honestly, you respected him as a leader -you just didn't agree with all his choices. That's where it all started, after all, isn't it?

You'd seen what a wrong choice could do, you'd watched Hershel die right in front of your eyes. You'd seen it all.

And, sure, maybe you were grieving a little but you still largely disagreed with Rick's actions on the matter. It was preventable.

It started there, and only really got worse. It was like once you identified one flaw, suddenly you were second-guessing his every move. The two of you couldn't be in a room without arguing, couldn't be put on shifts together, nothing. Daryl, for one, wouldn't let you be alone together at all. And if it wasn't him, it was someone else.

"Rick, seriously," you spoke once, almost sternly, "-that can't be your decision."

"Why?" he responded -pointed and short, "-Ya got a better idea? Go right fuckin' ahead."

You knew that since the prison, Rick had been strung thin. You knew that he had been harder on himself than you could ever be about Hershel. But, you still were angry. Sometimes, sometimes it felt like maybe he was just a target for everything that you'd been through. And you were trying to change your behavior, change your ways.

You'd known him for so long, and you were going to be stuck with him. The group, even though the two of you weren't on the best terms, was like family to you.

And then, it started getting personal.

This argument stemmed from something small, trivial, you can't even remember it now. Maybe a decision on a run? You can't-

"Ya act like ya ain't made mistakes of your own," he added, "-all high and damn mighty-"

"When did I say that?" You interrupted, more cold than anything, "-You're putting words in my mouth, Grimes."

"-Because I seem to remember ya tellin' me about your family," he continued, not even pausing to listen to you.

You stilled in place.

"Rick," you warned (voice slightly shaking), "-don't... don't go there."

Your family. At the beginning of all this, you'd froze -scared. Watched one of them get bitten, and then everyone just followed after -not willing to grieve. You regretted not being quicker, not being more aware, but you weren't used to it. You weren't-

"Ya fucked up," Rick continued, as if he wasn't bringing up what he was, "-We all do, why do you-"

"No, no," you shook your head, voice shaking, "-Rick, that is not fair. You can't bring up my family-"

You had hated yourself for that, hated yourself. Still did. You would never forgive yourself for not saving them, even though you really didn't have an idea how to then, you should have-

God, he was bringing this up? Really?

"-over a goddamn run strategy."

"Well, you pick apart every damn thing I do," he retorted, "-'Thought I'd do the same for once."

"Oh, fuck you, Rick," you seethed, tears burning the backs of your eyes, "-you want me to poke at your wounds? Talk about who you could've saved?"

He pursed his lips, and you saw something flash through his eyes (they were trailing the now shake of your hands) that looked a little like regret. Like maybe he was understanding what he said. You felt like your skin was on fire.

"Do you want me to start from the beginning?" You tsked, a fire burning in your chest, "-Shane? Or maybe Lori? Beth? Hershel-"

"Stop," he stated, quieter than before.

"-Why, Rick?" you hissed, and you felt the tears now, "-Is this not what we're talking about? Oh, do you not want me to bring that up? Over a run?"

"I get it," he spoke, softer, and something in you sharpened, "-I get it, Y/N."

"Do you?" you responded, frustrated and just... angry, "-Do you, Rick?"

"I shouldn't 'ave-"

"Can it," you interrupted -short, "-Let's just get the fucking supplies and go."

Rick frowned, blue eyes far more emotive (all you could see was regret and pity), "Y/N, I didn't-"

"You didn't what?" You countered, and your voice was cracking, "-You didn't mean to bring up the fact that I watched my family die, right in front of me? Do you think that I don't hate myself every day for not doing anything then?"

Rick didn't say a word.

"-Hate to break it to you, sheriff, but I fucking do."

"Y/N..." he trailed off, blue eyes much calmer, the rage from before dissipating out of his voice.

"No, just-" you cleared your throat, wiping mindlessly at your frustratingly red eyes, "-Let's get this shit done and leave."

From then on, it had been much deeper.

You couldn't stand him, you hadn't been alone with him since. He made your skin crawl and your mind flare up in anger, and sometimes, just sometimes, it would shake your respect for him. Because you did have some, you probably wouldn't even be here, if you didn't.

The funny thing about it all was that you were close to Carl, very close to him. At the prison, after Lori's death, you'd nearly been inseparable. It was kind of like a parent relationship, but at the same time a little like a friend. It made you want to reconcile sometimes, but all you and Rick did was clash.

So much that you started to wonder what a normal conversation was like with him.

And then, you had the run-in with the Claimers.

God, what they'd threatened to do to Carl? You personally would've snapped their spine yourself if you had the chance. But what Rick had done? You couldn't imagine it yourself.

But you knew that he did what he had to. And some part of you wanted to tell him that, despite... despite all of your problems, you knew he needed it.

It was late that night when you decided to talk to him. It was just the two of you awake. You, on purpose, and you just knew Rick would be. Doing that was probably still rattling through his skull, he probably couldn't even close his eyes without-

Your steps were slow and careful, trying not to startle him -he just seemed to be staring. Endlessly staring, and just pacing. Despite it all, you felt something in your chest swirl with worry.

"Rick?" you spoke, gently. Even still, you saw his whole body tense up.

"Please," he muttered, voice low and gravelly -blue eyes heavy on you, "-I don't need your shit right now. I kno' 'at I did somethin' bad, really damn bad. But I just can't deal wit' ya-"

"No, Rick," you interrupted, "-that's not why I'm... That's not what I want to say."

"What do ya want to say, then?"

"You made the right decision," you responded, tone sturdy and unmoving, "-you... you did what you had to."

Rick stilled, something flickering through his face -a flutter of emotions.

"I know, we aren't on the best terms, but-" you rolled your lip around your teeth, "-you're not a monster, Rick."

The silence was loud then, as his blue eyes skimmed over you -carefully. Maybe like he was seeing a new you, or maybe an old one he'd forgotten about. One you'd forgotten about.

"Trust me, I know it feels like it," you added (mind flashing with what you'd done over the years), "-but you did what you had to. You saved your son, and that's all that matters."

He didn't say anything for a moment, trying to process your words. And if you really looked, you might've seen his eyes fogging up a little and the slight drop of tension in his shoulders. A little like he was waiting for someone to tell him that.

And then, he replied, "Thank ya."

You pursed your lips a moment, fidgeting with your hands. You weren't sure what else to say. This was all so new. With a succinct nod, you moved to spin on your heel and lay down for the night.

"Wait," he called, and you turned back to him -eyes inquisitive.

There was a beat.

"-'At day, on the run," he continued, slow and regretful, "-I'm... I'm sorry. I never should 'ave said somethin' like 'at. I never should 'ave brought it up at all. 'Wasn't right of me to."

"Thanks, Rick," you responded, brief but genuine, grateful. You could tell he understood.

Before you could fully turn around though, he added -softer, with something you couldn't quite name, "Goodnight, Y/N."

There was a pleasant hum in your mind at the way he said your name, but you shoved it away. You'd locked all of that far away, a long time ago.

"Night, Grimes," you chimed back, lighter in tone.

He smiled at you then, and something in you gleamed a little from it. Not that you would ever say it out loud.

There was something different after that, a sort of trust or respect. Or maybe something else, you didn't really know. It was there, though.

When you found Alexandria, things shifted a little. Mostly because it was your group against another one, you and Rick were profoundly on the same side. That being said, you still clashed. You weren't sure if it was just the authority of it all, or what? (It might've had a little to do with a blonde wife that he was spending some time with, but you'd never say that out loud.)

"You're seriously not going to let me lead the run?"

"I got Daryl on it," he responded, eyes solely sat on you.

"He's been on all the runs lately," you continued, trying to explain your case, "-Shouldn't this shit be evenly distributed? Have you even talked to Daryl about what he wants? Or are you just assigning us like it's some dictatorship-"

"'Course I damn talked to 'im," he snapped back, and you could see something tired in his eyes, "-everybody gets a say in what 'ey're doin', ya know 'at."

"Except for me," you contradicted, "-you keep giving me the same fucking chores, when I'm useful in other places-"

And he was, he kept you in Alexandria -washing clothes, making dinner, keeping an eye on the people. He made you some kind of mediator between Deanna's people and your own. But you were useful, you shouldn't be locked inside like you couldn't handle yourself. Because you could, and you had before.

"-You know, I scavenged for months before I met you, right? I was alone, and I figured it out."

"I know 'at," he confirmed, pinching the bridge of his nose. You could nearly see the stress radiating off him, but you couldn't stop, not then.

"So, so what-" you asked, "-you don't trust me? You don't think I can do it?"

Rick sighed, big and loud -fully facing you, "It ain't 'at, Y/N. I know ya can handle yourself, I've seen it."

"Then, what is the problem, Grimes? I don't get it-"

"Just take the goddamn next run," he groaned, something in his tone broken (and something a little like guilt curled up in your stomach), "-I'll tell Daryl he's switchin'."

You stopped in place, words faltering off your lips. Your will and the fire in your gut extinguished, you suddenly felt very out of place, and a little like the bad guy. You knew you weren't though, but he just looked so tired-

"Okay," you finally responded, a little dumbfounded, "-thanks."

He nodded in your direction and didn't say a word. You took it as a motion to move along, so you did.

Apparently, he might've had a good reason to worry.

It wasn't that first run, or even the second or third, it was the fourth after that conversation that you were stupid. Well, it really wasn't your fault. You thought someone had your back, and they didn't; so, one of the walkers had clawed pretty deep into your arm.

It was bleeding a lot (maybe too much) and probably needed stitches, but you didn't worry about it. Denise could handle it, and you, as a community, were pretty good on medical supplies at this point.

What you didn't expect, was after Denise patched you up for one Rick Grimes to be on your ass.

You were still sitting in her doctor's space (you had no idea what to call it) then, silently trailing your fingers over the bandaging. You could already see some of the blood through the white of it. It made you a little nervous, you won't lie.

And then, the door swung open.

At first, you nearly grabbed for the knife you hid on you -alarmed, assuming it was someone coming to hurt you. Instead, you were met with one Rick Grimes -his face was all scrunched up in that way he always got when he was frustrated.

If there was one thing you could recognize, it was that.

"Rick?" you questioned -carefully, a little shocked by him bursting into the room. Did you do something to him recently?

"'At's why ya can't go on fuckin' runs," he grumbled out -suddenly so angry, it made your head spin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What?"

"You're always makin' damn bad decisions," he continued, and something in you bristled. Your defenses were up in an instant.

"What the fuck, Rick?" you countered, "-You don't even know what happened, how the hell do you know it's on me?"

"You're injured," he clarified, a little like he was talking to himself, "-ya made a stupid mistake-"

"How the hell do you know that?" you hissed, "-Do you just think everything that goes wrong has to be my fucking fault, Grimes?"

"-and you're damn hurt."

There was something there in his tone, something different. Your frustration twisted into a little bit of curiosity. What was that?

"I can’t leave ya alone for one second without ya hurting yourself, can I?" He started up again, and it was there again, angry but also... but also-

Your eyes swam over him, and you recognized it then, worry. He was worried about you, you felt something in you stall. It was so different from what you knew from him-

"I mean," you responded, a little awkwardly -unsure (since when did he care so much?), "-I’m fine so it’s okay-"

"No, it’s not okay," he suddenly shot his eyes to you, blue eyes heavy with worry (so much, it shot to your core), "-Not when I feel like I’m goin' to go batshit fuckin' crazy, thinkin' you’ve hurt yourself."

It was silent for a moment, as your mind processed the words. Skimming along his face, as he seemed to do the same -frustration dissipating along his features.

That... That was new.

"It's just some scratches," you spoke -a little lost, you weren't sure exactly what to say. He cared about you that much? Thought about you that much?

Rick's eyes darted to the bandages, which were just about as dark as before -which was just a little, the stitches seemed to stop it mostly. Something in him relaxed, you could tell in his shoulders -the drop of the tension. You couldn't believe that was because of you. When-

"Ya had to get stitches, yeah?" He spoke, suddenly and a bit awkwardly too (like he wasn't sure what to do).

"I did," you confirmed, just looking and something in you felt like you needed to tell him more, so you did, "-Uh, five in one, and three in the other."

He pursed his lips (like he was debating something), before shattering out a breath, "Can I see it?"

"It's already wrapped up," you responded, blankly -you were running a little on autopilot, "-She already-"

"Denise can rewrap it," he offered, stepping closer. Something in your stomach stirred.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "You want to waste medical supplies, just so you can see my wound?"

Rick's lips pressed into a thin line, something in him firing back up, "I'll replace the supplies my damn self, if I 'ave to, just let me see."

You couldn't really say anything, it felt like all the words had washed from your head. Like you couldn't speak if your life was on the line.

He faltered a second, sighing, and his eyes shifted to something softer (a little like pleading), "I... I need to see if ya are alright."

You felt like you were stone -frozen.

"Please."

Your heart lept into your throat (and you let your mind drift somewhere you'd never let it before), "Yeah, okay."

That started the shift.

And he started checking over you after every run, you thought it would've been annoying but... you got used to it. And something in you liked helping him calm down, although you'd never say it out loud.

Things were a little different. You clashed but it wasn't as fiery anymore. Because you knew he cared about you, and somewhere you could acknowledge you cared about him. (More than you'd ever admit.)

This time it wasn't even Rick you were arguing with. It was someone originally from Alexandria. You couldn't even remember their name, but they'd said something about you and you let it slide. But then, they kept going.

"You made a shit call," the guy remarked, sauntering up to your side.

You were a little startled, but you stayed composed, "What are you talking about?"

"We could've gotten more supplies," he continued, "-that gun store was right there, and you called the whole fucking thing off."

You soured -something steeling in your gut, "You mean the one that was swarmed? Hate to break it to you, but we were outnumbered."

"We could've done it," he added -persistent, something frustrated in his tone, "-we had the manpower."

"Are you serious?" you laughed a little incredulously, "-There were three of us, and about 30, 40 maybe, walkers. That is-"

"Maybe you couldn't have done it," he tsked, lips falling in a flat line.

You flexed your jaw, trying to stay composed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a sorry fucking excuse for a lead," he gritted through his teeth, "-You don't know shit about-"

"Next time, just go right ahead and do it yourself then," you shot back but stayed still in your space (composed, composed, composed), "-and I don't know about you, but I value life more than something we already fucking have-"

"It's ammunition," he seethed, stepping much closer to you -something sparking behind his eyes, "-Don't know if you fucking know this, but it's pretty damn important to survival-"

"No," you disagreed, voice calm and collected, "-it's not. You don't need to walk into a situation that you can't handle-"

Without warning, a fist flew at your face -right at the nose.

"Shit," you hissed, and you felt the thrum of pain under your skin and could almost immediately taste the coppery taste of blood, "-What the fuck? Why did you-"

"What the hell is goin' on 'ere?"

It was Rick, and his tone was something you'd only heard a few times -blue eyes flickering over you. They held onto your, now bleeding, nose which you were now trying to soothe, and something in his jaw tightened.

The guy was the first one to speak, mostly because you were trying to stop the bleeding. Luckily, Maggie rushed up to your side with paper towels -doing her best to help too.

"They made a mistake on the run-"

Rick didn't let him get far, "So, you punched 'em in the damn face?"

"Well," the guy fell quieter, "-we were arguing-"

Maggie snapped back, shifting her focus for a moment, "You were arguin'."

"No-"

"They were just trying to talk some sense into ya," she continued, tone cold, "-You were the one who took it personally-"

Rick put a hand on her shoulder, eyes flickering toward you -something swimming through them that you recognized from a different day, and Maggie took the notion to stop talking. She turned back to you, and gently guided you to tilt your head forward. On instinct, you pinched your nostrils shut -breathing out of your mouth.

"Even if it was a fuckin' argument," Rick tsked, something cold in his tone, "-there's no damn reason to do 'at. They weren't gettin' violent with ya-"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I kno' 'em," he retorted, "-an' if 'ey got their hands on ya, you wouldn't be standin' in front of me."

You laughed a little and could feel his eyes shoot to you for a second. It made something in your chest flutter, something you were trying desperately to ignore.

"We need to get ya some ice," Maggie spoke, mostly to herself, "-It's already bruisin' up pretty bad."

"'S leave 'is for another day," Rick seemed to exit the conversation with the man, tone unshakable, "-but if I 'ear anythin' else from ya, 'ere's gonna be a problem. Ya got 'at?"

You could almost visually see the way Rick shifted as he made his way over to you. Composure slipping into something more worried, eyebrows furrowing and eyes shining in an entirely different way. Like he couldn't help it, his hands frantically found themselves along your shoulders. It made your skin buzz a little, and made you feel a little woozy. Well, you guessed there could be more than one reason for that.

On that note, you stumbled in place a little, and Rick's hands immediately slid to your sides -stabilizing you. Your heart skipped a beat, stupid fucking handsome men with big fucking hands.

"'Ey, can ya bring a chair over 'ere, please?"

Before you could so much as blink, he was pushing you into it -gently, mind you. Ever-so-gently. And almost on instinct, he fell onto one knee in front of you, trying to hold your eye contact with your head slightly forward, you guessed. His eyes were the same as that day, but there was something else there too, something fuzzier.

"Maggie, ya go get the ice," he turned to her, "-I'll stay with 'em."

She seemed to scamper off because you could tell it was just the two of you. Maybe he'd warded off everyone else, Rick had this... aura to him when he wanted to -a dangerous one. Sometimes you thought it was to balance out his natural nature as a leader.

Quietly, you heard Rick tear off another paper towel and gently wipe at your mouth (where you imagined blood was staining at this point). It was strangely intimate, as you just skimmed over his face.

He was entirely focused on the task, so your eyes roamed along the creases along his face, the blue of his eyes, the sharp line of his nose, the little curls that peeked behind his ears-

You blinked, clearing your thoughts. He was always handsome, you knew that.

"What even is that dick's name?" you questioned, testing to see if your nose had stopped bleeding as much. It had.

Rick smiled a little, looking up at your eyes from where he was focused before (he seemed to be done), "I 'ave no fuckin' clue."

You laughed at that, and if you were honest with yourself thought you saw something shoot through his eyes. Something warm. You ignored it.

"'S hurt?" he spoke, softer.

You responded, simply, "I've had worse."

Rick smiled a little at that, but fell into something more serious, "So, yeah?"

"Like a bitch," you admitted, and he let out a low sort of chuckle.

It made something in you relax, something warm lighting up in your chest. You let yourself feel it this time, just once.

"Just so ya know," he interrupted your thought process, "-'at ain't happenin' again."

You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows -warmth dissipating, "Are you- Are you chastising me right now?"

"No," he quickly responded, but didn't explain further, "-'M just tellin' ya I ain't lettin' it happen again."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Rick paused a second, ripping another paper towel off and dabbing at your nose. It was probably still bleeding a little bit.

You just watched him, waiting for an explanation. Even though, you weren't entirely sure he was going to give you one.

"Anyone touches ya, says anythin' to ya, so much as looks at ya the wrong way-" he listed, tone deadly serious (it shook through your skull), "-ya come get me, and I’ll set 'em straight. Understand?"

Your mouth moved before you could stop it, "What?"

"I'll handle it," he repeated, pulling away the paper towel and locking eyes with yours, "-It ain't happenin' again."

"Rick," you laughed -incredulously, and maybe a little defensive, "-I don't need a fucking guard dog. I can handle myself."

"'Didn’t say 'at," he hummed, carefully, eyes skimming along your face -a little like he was in wonder (it made your head spin a second), "-'S for me, not ya."

"How does that-"

"If 'ey're fuckin' with ya, 'ey're fuckin' with me," he interrupted, eyes so solid that you couldn't really look away, "-you can handle it how ya want, but Imma 'ave some choice words of my own. So, send 'em my way too."

The words faltered in your throat, something swirling around your heart. He was just so-

The coppery taste again.

You shriveled up your nose in disgust, and Rick laughed at it (something gleaming in his eye), as you reacted -spitting the taste out into the dirt.

"Yeah, keep laughing, Grimes," you tsked, but there was no bite, not really. Not like there used to be, "-I'll beat the shit out of you."

"'Ere's no doubt in my mind," he retorted back, smiling in a way that crinkled at the eyes. You thought for a spare second it was a beautiful one, that maybe he was beautiful.

After that day, you'd say that everything was a little confusing.

These feelings towards Rick were far from new, very far. They'd always kind of been in the very back of your mind. Part of you was actually pretty sure that hating him had in some way distanced you from what you felt otherwise. Now, that is to say, you had definitely hated him at one point. That just didn't mean that it erased the... other thing.

You and Rick were off-kilter. Or at least you were. You guessed you couldn't say anything about him, he was very much a mystery to you at this point.

He just kept doing things. Like the scratch and nosebleed. And every time he'd smile at you a bit warmer, say something you couldn't really avoid. Not anymore. (And you weren't sure you wanted to avoid, honestly.)

And he'd looked at you a lot more, searched you out (when before you used to shun each other, avoid each other), and just smiled at you sometimes for no reason. The thing was you didn't mind it. You wanted him to. Because you... because it was all different.

You were confused, but you weren't going to be the one to encroach on it. It all felt so surreal, that one day something would happen and you'd just snap right back into place -just like before. To be fair, you still argued. But, it was moreso bickering now. And even if it wasn't, before you could get as heated as you used to, you compromised -easily.

You slotted together perfectly and bounced off each other with ease. Hell, he started coming to you about running Alexandria, about problems he couldn't quite get. And the two of you would talk until you worked out a solution. Because you always did.

It made no sense why you'd even clashed in the first place.

You were confused, beyond confused. And you wanted things, wanted to ask things, but they seemed dangerous. Far away-

That brought you here, on a night when you couldn't sleep. Which were more frequent nowadays, if you were completely honest. This whole situation made your mind run for a lot of different reasons, and when it wasn't that, it was nightmares. Alexandria was safe, you knew that, but it didn't necessarily stop your fight or flight -the urge to constantly be on edge, protect.

So, sometimes you sat here on the steps of your porch in the night -the chill and silence of it soothed you. It wouldn't always get you back to sleep, but it would make you feel better. Remind yourself that you're breathing. That you're alive.

You exhaled, trailing your finger along the wood of the railing beside you -absorbing the low buzz of bugs in the air and the strangely familiar groans of walkers outside the walls. It was kinda fucked up that it calmed you down, but you gave yourself a pass.

"Funny seein' ya 'ere."

Your eyes shot up and latched onto his.

The Grimes house was just a couple of houses down, diagonal to yours. So, you could see him, but not entirely clearly.

He was leaning on the porch railing, you could see the sleeves of his jacket against the starch white, and his hair seemed a little messy -your eyes trailed over a particular curl. It was hanging slightly down in front of his face. (You got the urge to fix it, comb it back into place.)

"'Could say the same to you, Grimes," you replied.

You saw him smile, dropping his head to look at the ground. It made something in your chest flutter. But, before you could say anything else, he was stepping down from his porch and making his way to you.

As he got closer you recognized that he was in pajamas with just a jacket thrown over.

He stood just at the bottom of the stairs, leaning onto the railing slightly and just looking at you. Like he always did these days. With worry and... something else.

"Nightmare?" he questioned, genuinely.

You rolled your lip around your teeth, deciding to say, "Kind of."

Rick's lips pressed into a frown, eyes glazing along your face (you didn't look back at him), "Can I sit?"

You were wordless, but moved slightly to the left (despite not really needing to) as unspoken acceptance. He stared at you for a second longer, before slowly but surely making his way to the steps. He sat closer to you than you thought he would've, but it was almost in character of him to do something that surprises you so.

"Ya cold?"

On cue, you shivered slightly, "I've had worse."

Rick let out a low sigh (he knew you well now), nudging off his jacket and hanging it squarely on your shoulders without hesitation. His eyes trailed over you wearing it for a moment, a small look in his eyes that you couldn't name. All shiny as his lips quirked up just a smidgen.

"You don't have to do that," you objected, but it was quiet and weak.

"I want to," he replied, simply.

You couldn't argue with that. Hell, you didn't think you could argue with him anymore-

Rick interrupted the thought, eyebrows furrowed in that kind of way you knew to be worried, "What do ya mean 'kinda'?"

You took a second, staring out into the night -listening to the silence.

"My mind won't stop," you clarified, "-sometimes it's... things I've done, and other times it's... things that I just can't seem to figure out."

"What's it today?"

You pursed your lips a minute, before answering, "Something I can't figure out."

He stared at you, blue eyes flickering along your face in a hazy sort of way. It made something unfurl in your chest that you'd tried to keep shoved down, "Is 'ere anythin' I can do to help?"

You ran the idea through your head a few times, and let your eyes match him a few more. You aren't entirely sure why, but talking to Rick fel a little like he'd never judge you. Even though he had before, it was... it was now. Things were very different.

"Can I ask you a question?" you spoke, then, deflecting a little.

"Shoot," he responded, almost instantly. ( A little like he'd do anything you'd ask.)

"What happened to us?"

Rick's eyebrows furrowed, and you took it as a motion to keep talking, to explain. So, you did.

"We used to-" you dropped your hands on your lap, and stared out into the Alexandrian streets, "-We used to scream at each other until our faces turned red. We couldn't stand each other, and now..."

"'At ain't a good thing?" he questioned, something in his tone a little disappointed (it made your head swirl a little), "-'At it changed, I mean."

"It is," you reassured, facing him a second, "-but I just... Isn't it confusing?"

Rick stayed silent a second, eyes smoothing along your face. Just looking, like maybe he thought you were beautiful (just like you did on that day), or maybe like he never wanted to forget what you looked like.

"No."

You pressed your lips together.

"Don't get me wrong," he clarified with a smile, "-I hated ya once, a long time ago. But 'is? Now? It makes sense."

You asked before you could think about it, "What is 'this'?"

He just stared at you a second, something flickering through his eyes, careful and considerate. Something warm. The warmth you kept seeing now, the one you tried to avoid.

"You," he answered, vaguely, "-Us."

"What does that mean?" you asked, your confusion was ever-so-clear. This was all things you didn't understand.

He didn't say anything, as you stared out into the streets -watching some of the porch lights flicker. The night sky was still dark, so you weren't really worried about the hour.

And then, you felt calloused fingers on your chin -guiding you back to his eyes. The thoughts cleared out of your head.

"Y/N, you drive me fuckin' crazy," he laughed a little, and you felt your eyebrows furrow, "-not just in a frustratin' sorta way. You... I worry about ya like crazy, I think of ya like crazy... I care 'bout ya like crazy-"

Your heart skipped a beat.

"-an' I... I love ya like crazy."

Your lips felt stitched shut, as he just smiled at you -something in his eyes that you could see now. You could identify.

"Ya poke and prod at me until I'm reelin', yeah, but-" he pressed his lips together, eyes shimmering across your face, "-I wouldn't 'ave it any other fuckin' way. An' I mean 'at. I just... I'm not me without ya annoyin' the shit out of me. Without ya callin' me out on my shit."

You laughed, something burning the backs of your eyes, "I am the only one who would do that, huh?"

"Ya are," he grinned at you, and you felt something in your chest squeeze tight.

It felt clear then, abundantly clear.

"I love you too, Grimes."

He grinned, the big kind that crinkled at the eyes, "Thought so."

You rolled your eyes, with no bite, "Oh shut up, sheriff. I could still kick your ass, and you would deserve it."

He laughed, the genuine kind -hand coming to cradle your cheek, "Still, don't doubt it, sweetheart."

You smiled, and noticed just how close the two of you were. He only seemed to be roaming closer, and it made your heartbeat pick up in your chest a little. Before you could stop it, your eyes dipped down to his lips.

He grinned again, the kind that rattle down to your core, all handsome and shiny white teeth. And then, he started moving closer, his own eyes dipping to your lips.

"Ya kno', I can think of a way to get me to shut up."

"Can you?" you teased, quiet between the two of you.

He just hummed, distracted. It made something in your stomach stir.

"I am pretty desperate for you to," you remarked -playfully.

Rick busted into laughter, a loud kind that you barely ever heard from him. It made something in your chest shimmer, proud. You kind of wanted to hear that forever. And now, maybe you could.

The thought made you grin, as you leaned forward, impatiently, and connected your lips to his. It was just a press of lips, but you did feel him lean into it. Before you could get far, he laughed even more, breaking off the kiss, and it made you laugh.

"'Course ya can't wait for one second," he chuckled -playfully, "-You've always been so damn impatient."

"Oh, fuck you, Grimes," you laughed into the night, "-You're lucky I don't-"

And this time, he shut you up.

[nova-is-a-writer-now]

Hidden embers

Chapter 3

Chapter summary: Joel needs help with his yard, you need help with figuring your feelings out

A/N: Im so excited you guys have been liking this!! last chapter was a good one, but this is my favorite so far. I also started a tag list so if y’all want to be part of that comment down here <3 Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: No outbreak AU, Age gap, DBF!Joel, Mean!Joel if you squint, some accidental physical contact lol, sexual tension but no smut

Series masterlist

“You can’t spend your whole summer doing nothing. You should really find something productive to do while you’re back home.”

Four years of college, every summer break, and most holidays spent working to cover tuition and other expenses—a lifetime of never catching a break until now—and that’s what your mother tells you after just two weeks of "doing nothing"?

You knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time before she decided to insert herself into your life and dictate your every move. It’s nothing you haven’t dealt with before. “I’ve been helping out around the house,” you say, trying to sound casual.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she says with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, “that’s not what I meant. You can’t be locked up in here all day. People will think you’re wasting your life away. I’ve been asking around at the town’s pageant commission, and they would be absolutely delighted to have you around to help us organize this year’s Teen Country Queen Pageant.”

There it was. Nothing your mother did was ever for anyone’s interests other than herself. If she had no interest in parading you around her pageant organizer friends, you were absolutely sure she couldn’t care less what you did with your days.

Right on cue, just before you’re about to give her a piece of your mind, your dad walks in. “What’s the long face for?”

“Oh, Hank, great! You can back me up here. I was telling her she needs to find something to do with her days. All this lazing around can’t be good for her. My friends at the—”

“Actually, I was thinking the exact same thing,” your dad says, surprising both of you.

“Really?” you ask incredulously. For all his flaws, your dad has never been one to meddle in your affairs.

“Yeah, Joel has been complaining about his front and back yard looking like shit since Cindy left.”

“Hank! Language!” your mom’s voice rises to that ear-shattering pitch she uses when she’s trying to be stern.

“Sorry, looking terrible since Cindy left,” your dad corrects himself, laughing it off. Sometimes he forgets he can only be that relaxed when he’s alone with you; your mom is a whole different ballgame.

“Um… Cindy?” you ask, drawing a blank on the name.

“The ex-wife. That’s not the point, kiddo. The point is he’s been whining about it for the longest time but is always too lazy to figure out gardening by himself. Then I remembered you were in the gardening club back in high school. It’d be nice of you to offer him some help. Poor man doesn't know how to keep a cactus alive.”

“Dad, that was ages ago. I don’t know if I remember much of it anyway. I only joined for my college applications,” you retort.

“It’s just a few plants and flowers here and there. How hard can it be? He even said he bought everything he should need for it but never got ‘round to actually doing it, so it’s all laid out for ya.”

Your choices were clear: spend however long it took to finish Joel’s yard while pretending you don’t have a massive crush on your dad’s best friend, or run around town with your mom organizing a beauty pageant. The decision wasn’t hard at all.

“I’ll go over and check it out.”

The walk to Joel’s house should’ve been short—barely a five-minute stroll up the road—but a nasty crack in the pavement had other plans. You were so lost in your thoughts today that you missed it entirely, stepping right into the trap.

Alright, maybe it wasn’t just today. You’ve been in your head ever since you first saw Joel standing at the bottom of your stairs. The way his hands had gripped your arms, steadying you, had left an imprint that you couldn’t seem to shake. And now, here you were, back in that same position, your mind consumed by this man who seemed to be as bad for your sanity as he was for your attention span.

So what should’ve been a walk up the road turned into a drawn-out pause as you sat on the sidewalk, waiting for the sharp pain in your twisted ankle to dull.

About ten minutes later, you finally make it to Joel’s lawn. You brace yourself to climb his porch stairs, pretending your ankle wasn’t bothering you, when you notice his garage door open. You hadn’t seen him from your previous angle, but as you got closer, the view of Joel's back muscles came into frame. And what a view that was. He was leaning over his truck, completely absorbed on whatever needed fixing under that hood.

For a moment, you just stand there, staring at the way his shirt clings to the sweat glistening on his skin. It takes a few seconds to remember that it isn’t socially acceptable to ogle someone from their front lawn, so you clear your throat and take a few more steps toward him.

“Hey” he greeted you, looking up from his work.

“Hey, yourself” you say back, playing it as cool as you could. It wasn’t a particularly hot day, but Joel's face glisten with sweat, as do his arms and you don’t not even want to think about what’s going on under that t-shirt.

“Come to pay me a visit?” he asked with a smirk

“My dad didn’t tell you? I’m your gardener for the day… or however long it takes to make your front lawn and back yard pretty.”

Joel’s response is a breathy laugh, followed by him dropping his head between his forearms resting on the truck.“My gardener, huh?” he finally brings his eyes back up to meet yours. “Your daddy don’t know how to mind his own business, do he, sweetheart?”

Let’s unpack that. This motherfucker didn’t just throw in a new pet name you’d be replaying in your mind at any random moment of the day, but he also said it in that tone he seems to reserve only for you—or so you hoped, at least.

And that other word coming from his lips… you were aware people in the south used it more casually, without the connotation it had in your mind, but the way it sounded coming from him…

Oh, it made you think of a million ways Joel Miller could say the word Daddy in plenty of different contexts.

You quickly drop your gaze, hoping to hide the intense blush creeping up your cheeks. “I uh… I’m afraid not.”

The sound of his boots on the garage floor pulls you back to reality as he steps closer. “You don’t gotta do this, y’know?” His tone shifts, becoming more serious. “It’s no big deal, I’ll get to this mess eventually.”

You look up at him once again, more desperate than you’d like to admit. “Joel, I’ve been cooped up in my house with my mother and her pageant friends for weeks now. Please, give me an excuse to be anywhere else.”

A chuckle. You could live for those, make it your entire profession to earn them. You really need to calm the fuck down and get a grip if you were to spend the entire day around this man.

“Alright, then. If it’ll make you happy, I’m not gonna say no” says before turning back into the garage. He returns with a small crate filled with gardening tools and a few potted plants, setting them down on the grass. “Got most of what you’ll need here. Not much, but it’s a start.” His gaze drops to your ankle. “You doin’ alright? You’re limping.”

You wave off his concern, not wanting to admit just how much your ankle is actually bothering you. “It’s nothing, just a little misstep on my way here . I’m fine, really.” You flash him a smile you hope is convincing enough.

Joel studies you for a moment longer, then nods. “Alright, but if it gets to be too much, you let me know, okay? Last thing I need is you hurtin’ yourself on my account.”

“Deal,” you lie. There’s no way in hell you’re backing out of this now.

He gestures toward the mess of overgrown grass, weeds, and flower beds that haven’t seen attention in who knows how long. “I guess that’s the worst of it. Clearing out the weeds should leave enough space for these plants. Don’t overthink it, I trust your instincts.”

You take your first good look at the pots he brought from the back of the garage. “Oh, daisies! They’re my favorite.” You glance up at him, sweetness lacing your tone.

He pauses, something unreadable passing over his face. “ ‘Course they are.” He says, the corners of his mouth tugging up a bit. “Well, let me know if you need anything else. I'll be working over there.”

With Joel back under the hood, you set to work on the lawn. Despite the dull throb in your ankle, you find a steady rhythm in the repetitive motions—pulling out stubborn roots, digging small holes for the flowers, and patting down the soil around them. It’s oddly satisfying, watching the neglected garden start to come to life under your hands. You’ve always had a knack for taking rugged things and making them pretty.

Every so often, you glance over at Joel, who’s completely engrossed in whatever he’s tinkering with under the hood. The way his muscles flex as he works, the concentration etched on his face and how it makes him look a lot more serious than he ever is when talking to you—it’s hard to not get distracted.

There’s something about him, something that pulls you in despite your better judgment, despite every self-preservation instinct in you. Maybe it’s the way he makes you feel grounded, even when your mind is spinning out of control. It’s such a foreign concept for you, you’ve always been the one who has to defuse tensions, be the bigger person, manage the chaos. It’s never like that with Joel.

You’re careful to keep your ankle steady, not wanting to give Joel any more reason to worry. But as the hours pass and the sun climbs higher, you can feel the strain starting to build. Ever the overachiever, you push through it, there isn’t much left to get done in the front lawn anyway.

By the time you’ve planted the last of the daisies, you’re more than a little proud of yourself. There are still a few bare spots here and there and a handful of marigold pots waiting to be planted, but the lawn is starting to look less like a jungle and more like somewhere you’d actually want to spend time in. You wipe your brow, satisfied.

Joel must’ve noticed you slowing down because he calls out from where he’s working, “How’re you holding up? You thirsty?”

You hadn’t realized how parched you were until he mentioned it. “Yeah, a drink sounds good.”

Joel gives you a quick once-over, his eyes lingering on your ankle for a moment longer than you’d like. But he doesn’t say anything as he leads the way into the house, holding the door open for you.

The cool air inside is a welcome relief from the midday sun, and you sigh as you step into the kitchen. Joel pulls a couple of glasses from the cupboard and fills them with ice water, handing one to you. You take a sip, feeling the cold liquid soothe your dry throat.

You lean against the counter, trying to take some weight off your bad ankle. But as soon as you shift your weight, a sharp pain shoots up your leg, and you can’t hold back the small whine that escapes your lips.

Joel’s eyes snap to yours, his brow furrowing with concern. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, Joel. I’m fine,” you insist, even though you know you’re not fooling him. “It’s just—”

“ ‘S that why you’re whining every time you put weight on it?”

“It’s just a bit sore. Don’t—”

Before you can finish, Joel’s on you in a flash, closing the distance between you. He’s careful but firm as he lifts you effortlessly, setting you down on the kitchen counter. “Let me see.”

“Joel, really, it’s not a big deal,” you start to protest, but the look he gives you silences any argument you might have had.

“Humor me,” he says, his voice low and steady. There’s a note of authority there that makes your heart race. There’s no disobeying him when he uses that tone.

You sigh dramatically, letting him gently take your injured ankle in his hands. His touch is warm, and the way his fingers graze your skin sends shivers down your spine. He inspects your ankle with a seriousness that makes your heart flutter, his brows knitted in concentration.

“This is more than a ‘little misstep,’” he looks back up, his eyes stern and serious. He slowly drops your leg, turning back to reach into the freezer and pull out a pack of frozen peas. He presses it against your ankle, holding it there with one hand while his other hand lingers on your calf.

It doesn’t take long for his thumb to start brushing up and down in a way that feels more comforting than it should. He starts adding a little pressure to his touch, the lingering touch from before turning into a massage up and down your calf.

Your breath catches as you look down at him, the way he’s so focused on taking care of you. The tenderness in his touch is at odds with the roughness of his hands, and the combination is making it hard to think straight. It’s even harder to keep the little sounds his touch arises in you contained, some of them escaping out of your parted lips despite your best efforts.

“Joel,” you start, your voice softer now, almost hesitant.

He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes your pulse quicken. His hand is still on your leg, his face overtaken by a dark expression you hadn’t seen on him until now.

For a moment, neither of you says anything. The air between you feels charged, like something unspoken is hovering just out of reach. You can feel it in the way his grip on your leg tightens ever so slightly, in the way his breathing seems to sync with yours.

And then, as if realizing where his hand is, Joel slowly pulls back. “I should get you back home, let you rest that ankle.”

You frown slightly, the way he spoke such a stark contrast to the tenderness of his touch still lingering on your leg. “I’m alright. I’m gonna have to be kneeling down for most of what’s left anyways, so I won’t be putting any weight on it.”

“No, it’s best if you just go. I’ll sort the lawn out later.”

The words hit you like a bucket of cold water. You’re left staring at him, confused by the sudden shift in his demeanor. Normally, your pride would keep you from asking, but something about Joel makes it impossible to let this go. “Did I… do something wrong?”

Joel pauses, his eyes softening for a split second before his expression hardens again. “No, you're fine. Thank you for your help, but I’m taking you home.”

He doesn’t leave room for discussion as he brushes past you, heading into the living room to grab his truck keys. Your chest tightens, the shame of the moment crashing down on you all at once.

Except… you didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t the one who was running her hands up and down his body, or pulling him close and throwing him on the counter like it was nothing. He did all that. He made you feel like something more was happening, and now he’s treating you like some desperate girl who threw herself at him, needing to be ushered out of his house as quickly as possible.

The ache in your heart is quickly overshadowed by a fiery rage, building more and more with each passing second. You turn sharply in the kitchen, your mind made up as you march toward the open door leading to the garage.

“Don’t bother,” you snap, your voice cutting through the silence as you head for the exit.

“What?” Joel turns around just in time to see you storming out.

You don’t even answer him, your steps quickening even as pain shoots up your leg with every movement.

“The hell are you doin’? You can’t walk home with that busted ankle,” he calls after you, his tone much harsher than it was just moments ago.

You laugh bitterly, not bothering to look back. This man clearly doesn’t know you and your stubborn ass well enough yet. “Oh, I’ll fucking live.”

Without another word, you push through the pain, taking it one torturous step at a time. Each step feels like defiance, a middle finger to your own pride and to Joel’s sudden coldness. But it’s better this way—better to feel the sharp sting in your ankle than the dull ache in your heart. The whole way home, you curse yourself for being so goddamn stubborn, even as the fiery rage keeps you moving forward.

Tag list:

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog , @untamedheart81 , @mellymbee

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

My Jason Todd Rec List and Character Manifesto! (Version 3.0! Edited and updated first on 28/01/2024 and then again on 23/09/2024)

This is a fuckin mess my ghouls, but I got categories and I got opinions and who can stop me from typing em out? Certainly not @lazaruspiss who is the reason this thing got made!

The format is gonna be:

title and page numbers (No #s if I'm recommending the whole title IMPORTANT UPDATE: Each title will be a direct link to a free digital copy! Make sure you have a good adblocker and enjoy!) picture Summary and general notes My estimate of how unhinged he is in this portrayal What his morals are like; note this isn't about whether he's a protagonist or antagonist

Since cream rises to the top, let us start with:

The Creme de la Creme

The best of the best. The most fun, the most compelling, the most interesting looks into his character.

Seeing Red aka Green Arrow (2001) #69 - #72

This one really does have it all. Jason runs rings around both Batman and Green Arrow at the same time, all the while going after a goal neither of them ever truly figures out in large part because this story wasn't afraid to let Bruce be either wrong or lying about Jason's motives. It also wonderfully leverages the ways in which the Bats and the Arrows are really good foils for each other. I think I'm going to be turning over the ways these interactions went down for a long ass time. I've been really wanting to go page by page for a comparison between the way Jason treats Mia in this and the way Jason treats Tim in the Titans Tower showdown. Bottom line for this one: It's just so good!

Jason's sanity level: Six out of Ten hinges affixed. He's got a solid grip on things, is reasonably level headed, only problem is he might have completely forgotten how to interact with other human beings outside of combat. Love him for that.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Sympathetic Villain. Decidedly willing to mow down some "brain donors", and his goals are pretty morally grey, but he clearly still has a strong code of ethics.

Task Force Z

This whole comic one big love letter to Jason Todd. The author, Matthew Rosenberg, very deliberately takes time to showcase all the strengths and flaws of his character that make him so beloved. He's competent, he's mistrustful, he's determined, he's heroic and yet poses as the villain, he's human yet badass, and he holds his ground against the rest of the Bats while still clearly loving them. If I was ranking these comics purely by plot and pacing this would not be in creme de la creme territory, but it's a fantastic synopsis of what Jason is all about and if I could only give someone a single series in order to let them understand who Jason is (and I couldn't give them Under the Red Hood), I'd give them this.

Jason's sanity level: Eight out of Ten hinges affixed. He's pretty level headed, but at the same time he very clearly is way too casual about violence to be full hinges affixed - the PTSD is very apparent in him.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Antihero. His motives are understandable and firmly rooted in doing the right thing, but at the same time he is very willing to be ruthless and to kill when he feels it's the right decision. Balanced!

Pay as You Go aka Outsiders #44 - #46

Jason's role in this story is fairly small, but it's a wonderful bit of characterization for him. The way he approaches Nightwing to offer his help and the way Nightwing accepts that offer are fascinating and very deserving of your time!

Also there's gay sex and a prison breakout, like, what more could you want? Actually I suppose you could also want (what I'm pretty sure is) Roy's first time meeting Jason as the Red Hood and some really cute scenes of him and Lian, and guess what this story has got that too!

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Antihero. He's deliberately choosing to play the villain, but he's very willing to work with the Heroes and is going out of his way to exonerate an innocent man.

Batman (1940) #408 - #411 Jason's debut featuring Ma Gunn's School and his first ever outing as Robin fighting Two-Face

Just LOOK at this PRECIOUS BOY! I wanna pinch him on his cheeks and give him a handful of these bad boys

Jason has a ton of personality to him right out the gate. The first story has Ma Gunn as the villain and she's a lot of fun. The second story in here with Two-Face is also enlightening with regards to Jason's early personality, even if it's not quite as fun.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Hero.

Under the Red Hood would be next if it wasn't already filed under ->

Foundational Texts

This is the shit that defines Jason as a character. Much is mutable in any given comic, but somehow, someway, all depictions of Jason are impacted and informed by these three stories. Enough has been said about all of them that I'm gonna keep it brief.

Red Hood: The Lost Days

(You may have heard a lot about Talia's role in this one: I would encourage you to read my analysis of her in this story and do your best to see her perspective in all this, she's a heck of a lot less villainous than people keep saying she is)

Jason's sanity level: Eight out of Ten hinges affixed.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Antihero. He kills some incredibly nasty people, while also doing some genuinely heroic shit. The only places where his morals deteriorate are in the presence of Batman and the Joker.

Under the Red Hood

Jason's sanity level: Four out of Ten hinges affixed. Remember how his morals deteriorated in the face of Batman and the Joker? Yeah, that's mostly because he's way, way too personally invested to think straight about them. He's strategic as fuck, but this is not a stable man's strategy for dealing with his issues.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Sympathetic Villain. He is a revenant, a vengeful juggernaut, and breaks an awful lot of eggs making this brilliant disaster of an omelette.

Batman (1940) #426 - #429 A Death in the Family

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Hero.

Joker becoming an ambassador to Iran plotlines count: One too many.

Solid Storylines

These ain't the vaulted heights, but not everything has to be the Sistine Chapel. They're solid, and if you're wanting more Jason I do certainly recommend them.

Countdown Presents: The Search for Ray Palmer and Countdown to Infinite Crisis (special note here: Countdown to Infinite Crisis must be read backwards, meaning you start with Issue #51 and then read down to Issue #1 and Countdown Presents isn't in chronological order and just... oh boy this storyline is a mess, but much of it is also quite good)

Jason is in what I like to call his Purposeless Depression Era during this. It's after his plans in Under the Red Hood fail and he's really just got no place to go, no place to be. He's keenly aware that on a cosmic level, he truly does not belong in this world anymore. He's supposed to be dead. There's something I find quite neat about this team up, with Donna Troy and Kyle Raynor and Bob, it's out of the ordinary for Jason, it's not bat related, and the ways he fits and doesn't fit with the other characters are just neat.

I especially recommend Gotham by Gaslight. The plot will be a lil hard to follow if you haven't read the others, but by the end of it Jason hopes to return to Steampunk Gotham instead of his own Gotham where he doesn't think he belongs, and the moments of him hoping to literally leave his universe behind are both sweet and sorrowful.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed. He's just sad and lonely.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Hero. Even if only Donna is willing to tentatively try to see him that way.

Robin (1993) #177 and two pages of #182 and the front half of #183

Despite how much Jason is known for it, I think this is the only time we see him trying to run organized crime outside of Under the Red Hood (and uh debatably Battle for the Cowl). Short lil string of appearances, but critical for understanding how he's seen by Tim during this era if you care about that. Also I think this combined with Outsiders #44 - #46 (further down this list) it really cemented my understanding of Jason being strangely honest and forthright.

I think a major way other Bats fail to comprehend him is that they expect him to manipulate through lying, which just isn't his style. He doesn't lie about his motives; he doesn't obfuscate his tactics; he doesn't hide how he's feeling. Hell, he doesn't even try to lie his way out of prison! I could not tell you why this series of interactions gave me this impression but it is why I have such faith that when Jason says something, he probably just means it, even when characters like Dick or Tim assume otherwise.

Pity this was the lead up to Battle for the Cowl.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed. He's even attempting to pick himself up out of his Purposeless Depression Era slump at the start.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Antihero.

Nightwing (1996) #118 - #122 aka Brothers in Blood aka the One Where Jason Gets Tentacles

COWARDS and KNAVES will tell you "the tentacles are so icky and everyone is so OOC" or whatever but again they are KNAVES and COWARDS because bitch this shit is GREAT

Jason: Wow! My bestest big brother killed someone who deserved it, so now I (the person he's rejecting only because I kill people who deserved it) have a real chance at being his family again!! :D Hooray! :) Dickie-Bird why don't you look happy to see me? :) Dickie-Bird I went out of my way to get us matching outfits and stalked your work and killed people in your name so it's nice and easy to make room for me in your life! :) :) :)

Dick:

Jason's sanity level: Two out of Ten hinges affixed. My mans is off his rocker and I adore him like this. Frankly, the entire storyline is unhinged, and it only feels appropriate that Jason is similarly bonkers in yonkers.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Villain. You can sympathize with him, and he is still trying to carry out justice, but I have to call it for straight villain when he's threatening to bomb a building full of innocent people.

Batman and Robin (2009) #23 - #25

I don't have much to say about this one. It's good. The above page is pretty much the highlight.

Wait actually I do have something to say and it is that I would like to lick Jason's abs, pls & thx, because the other highlight is that Winick clearly believes in redeeming Jason's value as a villain through sex appeal and it is working lmao

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed. Certifiably sane, he's passed all his psych exams!

Jason's moral compass bearing: Villain. He threatens to bomb a train station full of innocent people. While he does do that in service of freeing himself and Scarlet, thus making it not completely self centered, I still gotta put him firmly in Villain.

Nightwing (2016) 2021 Annual

In high contrast to the previous two in which Jason acts as a villain to Dick, this one has them working together and the tentative peace and cautious trust they've got going is interesting to me. Very reminiscent of his appearance in Outsiders!

Jason's sanity level: Nine out of Ten hinges affixed. He's quite chill, but there's just this little edge to him that says his relationship to violence is a little too casual a little too deep to really be fully hinged.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Edgy Hero.

Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing

With Jason's return to being an antagonist after a long stint in the Hero bin comes his return to being really fucking dangerous and whip smart! My boy quotes serious philosophy that gives him a real point to make against non lethal vigilantes and cops! I also think the part where he lets himself be arrested just... it says so much and all of it is wonderfully interesting and feels fitting for his character. He's kept deeply human, and just all of this portrayal gels together really well.

Originally I had this up in Creme De La Creme because really, even though Jason isn't the star of the show, and even with Gotham War having, er, Minorly Derailed Jason's role in things, and one or two inevitable scenes where ya just have to accept that he's not as trigger happy as he should be because DC is married to the Joker - even though all of that is true, this is still a phenomenal rendition of Jason. However, with all of those annoyances and with Task Force Z being written by the same author, I decided to put it down here and leave TFZ in it's place. Basically it's got an arguably better story-line than TFZ, but contains less Jason.

Also I like that he's friends with my favorite, Stephanie Brown :3 and he and Rose's chemistry is nice. On top of all that? It's a fun comic. Like, I generally hate the Joker, but I found myself enjoying watching the Joker do his Joker things in this one.

Jason's sanity level: Nine out of Ten hinges affixed. Level headed, calm, careful, really the only reason this isn't a 10/10 is cause he's obsessively focused, which like, honestly is pretty reasonable I think.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Clearly Justified Antihero. I almost put down Hero on this one, but ultimately he is just far enough over the line with how he treats the less threatening of the rogues like Killer Moth.

Your Mileage May Vary

These stories I can't recommend without major caveats or warnings, but I still think are worth mentioning.

Gotham War (It's such a mangled mess that I'm just gonna link a reading guide. The same website that all the others are on will get you to all the titles this guide lists)

So, the main problem here is that Gotham War spans five different titles and had three different authors whose renditions of Jason do not feel cohesive or even coherent. The funny thing is though, each rendition has real merits, and while it doesn't go far enough in condemning Bruce's horrifying treatment of Jason for many people's tastes, I have to point out that it's one of the only comics to condemn an instance of Bruce mistreating Jason at all. The fact that the other Robins come to his defense is a HUGE thing! The bar may be in Hell, but it did clear the bar!

Due to how disjointed it is, I'm going to very loosely separate Jason out into two versions of himself. Think of these not as hard lines, but more a spectrum he slides across depending on what author has him that issue.

Jason Primus combines the ideas in Jason's Under the Red Hood speech about controlling crime rather than trying to stomp it out with his more Heroic modern interpretation. He's a chill, funny, smart guy whose protectiveness over the mooks is really charming.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed. Jason's moral compass bearing: Hero.

Jason Secundus is much more violent, not used to working with other people, and paranoid and antsy in a way that causes him to take it out on people who really don't deserve it. This is a compelling take on him, though I like him closer to Jason Primus. His trauma has clearly shaped him a lot, both for better and for worse.

Jason's sanity level: Seven out of Ten hinges affixed. Jason's moral compass bering: Anti-Hero, most of this focuses on him antagonizing two former Joker goons which kinda doesn't work well cause they're mostly scarecrow goons actually and also at one point he hurts them in a way that borderline just seems like stress relief. It's nothing worse than what we see Batman himself doing countless times, but it's still jarring because we've been made to strongly sympathize with the goon in question.

Batman: Three Jokers <- I read it while typing this up (the first version of this lol), so I got a lotta thoughts

Guh, this one is just fucking sad

So, I don't mind a story being blunt with its message as long as the message actually holds up. Unfortunately, this three parter's attempt at the cycle of violence lesson is... bad. Real bad.

Jason in it is neat! This is a good Jason portrayal somehow despite literally everything about the way this comic frames him! The narrative expects us to believe he is a danger to society on the cusp of becoming another Joker, because he *checks notes* shot the Joker dead, shot at a Joker loyal guy, and roughly interrogated an injured child abuser. At no point does he show signs of wanting to hurt innocent people. At no point does he show signs of doing any hurting without premeditation or a need to defend himself. I'm baffled by this.

My kingdom for a fucking CRUMB of nuance, I swear, smh...

I hear a lot of people hate his one sided romance towards Barbara. This is understandable as it squanders the opportunity to have a female character not be stuck as the narrative sponge for man emotions. I like it from the perspective of a Jason fan, and give condolences for the Barbara fans. It's not healthy, and good fucking job on the janitor sweeping away his letter to her so poor Babs doesn't have to deal with that shit, but I do like Jason's desperation to be loved by someone, anyone, who might show him compassion.

Jason's sanity level: Six out of Ten hinges affixed. He's sad, he's lonely, he needs some PTSD specific therapy, he's a bit creepy about his crush on Barbara, but quite frankly he has it together a lot more than the narrative would like us to believe. The way the other characters treat him like he's some kind of monster just waiting to snap and start maiming people indiscriminately makes me really uncomfortable.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Antihero. Quite frankly I'm tempted to say Hero out of spite.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #1 - #43

There are three transcendental character moments in this run that I think make it worth reading even if not all of it's your cup of tea. On the other hand though there are some big issues that could very easily be deal breakers. Oh and anything after #43 is a wasteland and #43 is included purely for the implication that being transgender made a woman immortal.

The narrative structure is really heavily dependent on rule of emotional impact/cool/allegorical usefulness. Many events will not make any fucking sense based on petty things like basic logic or the laws of physics, but they do work just fine in the area of what makes the story more fun or the emotional beats hit harder. Stronger than average suspension of disbelief is necessary for the reward of getting a lot of stuff that's, like, just really fuckin cool.

The romantic side plot with Artemis is... odd. Either the author, Scott Lobdell, intended to write Jason as a desperate loser trying to date his uninterested lesbian friend who he co-parents with, or he accidentally wrote a romance so awkward and comp-het that I cannot wrap my head around reading it as reciprocated. This works for me because I have a lot of fun reading Jason as a desperate loser who's not even actually in love with her, he just is desperate to cling to the closest thing he's ever gotten to a nuclear family and in denial about being either aro/ace or gay.

Now, lets explore a lil bit of the whole Jason is a loser angle, cause it's not the whole story, there are many points in which Jason gets to be a badass motherfucker, but he is much, much less of the hypercompetant, highly determined, murderous threat he used to be. Almost none of the newer renditions of Jason are. This Jason in particular though is very soft and cuddly, and fits the archetype of man trying to be the edgy bad boy but who secretly just wants a hug and a warm glass of milk.

If I were to describe my personal Jason in a few sentences I would say that he is someone who loves himself viciously. He feels he has been wronged and is willing to burn down the world to rectify that. He will hold your ass at gunpoint and demand the hugs and warm glasses of milk that he fucking well deserves!

This Jason is about as far away from that as you can possibly get. I still like him though, and I do not count him as being a different character, because when you start with emotional logic that goes like this:

It wasn't my fault + I deserve better = I get to burn the world down in order to get better

It becomes extremely difficult to ever stop burning the world without also deciding "It was my fault" or "I don't deserve better". Jason is meant to have changed a lot, and this is a plausible evolution of the Jason I prefer.

Finally, the handling of Bizarro, a mentally disabled character, is a sensitive enough topic that your mileage will vary, even if I can't think of a bad thing to say about it. Jason and Artemis are really pretty good about treating him with respect, giving him help where he needs it and autonomy where he's capable of taking it. They raise him, but don't control him, and he is literally like three days old when they find him so this isn't infantilization. It takes the framing of Lenny from of Mice and Men and Flowers for Algernon and rejects them in a way that I am satisfied with. You'll just have to read it for yourself to see if you're satisfied as well.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed. I kinda wish he was more unhinged.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Hero. He even saves a puppy and gives them pats.

Knight Terrors: Robin

Have you ever been in the mood for a syrupy sweet hurt/comfort fanfiction in which Jason and Tim were magically forced to talk about how much they like each other in order to overcome their own insecurities? Do you wish that existed as a lavishly illustrated two issue comic?

If you answered yes to those two questions then congratulations! It does exist; this is it; go have fun!

If you think that sounds like ham fisted garbage turning what should be several long arcs of serious reconciliation and deeply meaningful character moments into two issue fan service schlock then condolences! I wish you all the best in denial, as all comic fans sail that river sooner or later and I shall join you upon it someday.

What category do I fall into? Well I think this is definitely ham fisted, but I won't kick a boar out of bed as long as they ain't a bore, and this little ditty is certainly entertaining.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed.

Jason't moral compass bearing: Hero.

Batman and Robin Eternal

This is a decent portrayal of Jason in his modern, much friendlier, and much more bat family integrated rendition. He has some fun moments in it, and I like his staby bracers.

I don't like this comic. It commits the most dire of writing sins: Being boring. I think about Jason every second of every minute of every day; if your comic that majorly features a good portrayal of him cannot hold my attention, then something has gone very wrong. Hopefully one of you will like it more than I do.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Hero.

Suicide Squad: Get Joker! (Content warning for suicide, skip to the hot take if this'll get to ya - also spoiler warning cuz I can't discuss this properly without discussing the ending)

A three issue miniseries in which Jason is inducted into the Suicide Squad on a mission to kill the Joker. He's highly competent as a team leader, grounded, intelligent, and uses measured violence in a way that is satisfyingly tactical. The squad they threw together honestly has some pretty neat chemistry as a whole, and the characters were appropriately messy and quite likable.

This isn't higher on the list because it thinks it earned it's ambiguous ending, and frankly, it's wrong about that. Ambiguous endings live and die by the question they make the audience sit with - It has to be worth losing out on the emotional payoff of a solid ending.

The question of "If you left Jason in a room with the Joker and a gun with one bullet, would he shoot the Joker or himself?" is a really shitty question. Like, did the authors not realize that just on a logistical level, Jason could leave the room and find a second bullet after shooting the Joker? Like, seriously, even if we accept the premise that Joker's speech got to Jason, there are no reasons for him not to choose the "both" option. The only way I can imagine this working is if the Joker is actually the fucking Purple Man from Jessica Jones using mind control.

So we exchanged the validation of literally all our protagonists' struggles/sacrifices paying off for... the vague implication that Jason unforgivably betrayed his teammates, himself, and the entire world because he was so eager to die that he couldn't wait ten fucking minutes. If I loved the Joker I might feel differently about it, but as is, I felt insulted.

This would have been Solid Storylines or maybe even Creme de la Creme if not for that implication. It's not boring though! The rest of it up to the end is honestly pretty damn good, if a bit convoluted, and much of the ending's sour taste can be assuaged by getting out a sheet of paper and doodling Jason opening Joker's head with a handgun and then going out for icecream with the team.

Jason's sanity level: Ten out of Ten hinges affixed. He's a sad, sad lad tho.

Jason's Moral Compass Bearing: Anti-Hero, forced to be much more violent than he wants to be.

A Hot Take

I bet you thought the tentacles were the hot take! HAH! MuahahaahhHAHAHAH - Prepare now, puny mortals, to witness me defend Pill Helmet Jason AND his fashion choices!

No, I am not talking about Winick's redo late in the game, we've already been over that one. I mean I will defend Grant Morrison's flop era, three foot head gear wearin, goofy ass, unwashed ass, "how to build ur brand" reading maniac

It's time to talk about Batman and Robin (2009) #1 - #6

The interpretation of one scene makes or breaks this Jason:

If you believe he is being insincere and manipulating her into putting all her emotional eggs in the basket of his crusade, ignoring her wellbeing in favor of his 'brand', then this is probably the worst mischaracterization of Jason ever written.

If you believe he is being sincere, genuinely comforting her in the only way that he's got to deal with his own trauma, giving her real affection and not pushing her to take either option with the mask because he trusts her to make that decision for herself, then this gets Jason very right.

No matter what Morrison might have intended, I choose to believe it's the latter. This is terrible advice to give a trauma victim, but it makes perfect sense for Jason to believe that about his own trauma, and thus to pass that maladaptive view along.

He doesn't try to assure her that the mask can come off safely or that he'll get her a doctor because he really can't promise her either of those things. It would be cruel to her to pretend that he's got a solution. Jason can't undo the damage that was done to her any more than he can force a dead Bruce to kill the Joker.

Instead he offers her purpose, and reassurance that she's gonna look badass if she never does take it off, and protects her when she's in trouble.

You can claim this is just him acting out his chosen Hero role, but like, WHY would he have chosen to method act that role 24/7 if he wasn't trying to BE a Hero who protects people like Scarlet? There's nothing in it for Jason to fake this.

I also think if he was being written out of character as a manipulator we would have seen him use a romantic or sexual angle which he absolutely doesn't do.

Dickie, you are such a funny Batman, they never shoulda brought Bruce back tbh.

Instead, he seems to be taking a more parental role, in a near perfect reflection of how Bruce took him in when he was a kid. Just he's doing it his way, meaning that whenever Scarlet goes further with the violence than Jason seems to want to, he backs her up instead of chastising her.

Speaking of violence and morals, Let the Punishment Fit the Crime is a coherent moral position to take, even if you (understandably) disagree with it, or disagree with what punishments fit which crimes. It's basically the same moral position as every other version of Jason there's ever been! Like, is he even killing more people than he used to in stories like Under the Red Hood? No, I don't think he is. In fact, I would argue that Morrison's Jason is significantly less violent than Winnick's overall!

The branding thing is weird, lil annoying too after a while, but ultimately it still makes sense. And brings me around to my promised defense of his fashion choices.

First of all the symbolic importance of the fact that he wears white cannot be overstated in my mind. Will I elaborate? No, this post is way too long already lmao! Second off, it's supposed to be silly. I believe the silliness was a conscious, calculated choice, and the right one to make.

Jason doesn't believe that fear works, he's not trying for pure intimidation, and he knows that he's going to have to appeal to people in his bid to be seen as a Hero. Making himself seem big but non-threatening, a bright patch in the night, makes real sense.

Take a look at this view of Jason from Scarlet's POV when he comes to rescue her from the cops after she kills her dad:

He's got a smoking gun in his hand and he just shot two cops dead, yet we're hard fuckin pressed to find him intimidating aren't we?? Cornball dialogue, and the silliest fuckin hat in the universe, because he's not meant to be from this era, he's emulating the Golden and Silver age comics and all their goofiness. He's trying to be the older, happier, sillier batman that used to exist (at least in his head), while doing what he believes is right and necessary.

The costume makes sense dammit!

Also it just doesn't look bad, I can't provide an argument for this, it's just true!!

Also also every one of these fuckers should be wearing a helmet too, this is basic brain safety, if you're gonna go around antagonizing fuckers with guns you need to make your head at least nominally bulletproof, it's that simple!!!

Also also also the fact that he had red hair in this is oft maligned, but it gives Jason an in universe avenue to express a grievance with a super important part of the way Bruce treats him in his post-crisis time as Robin - Bruce was using him as an emotional replacement for Dick.

Morrison may not have liked Jason, but he demanded that every single iota of Batman lore be treated as important canon and that means that he also treats all of Jason's history as important canon too.

Now... do I recommend you read this? (This section was rewritten on January 28th, 2024)

Yes, with significant caveats. There's a reason I chunked this in with YMMV.

First is the Batman typical ableism of just really fucked depictions of mental illness. I normally wouldn't warn for this because everyone knows most of the rogues and will be aware of what they bring to the table, but Professor Pyg is obscure enough I wouldn't expect people to know, and the way he's written just... hurts. Like there's just something about him that is painful to read as someone that's got several schizophrenic friends who are near and dear to my heart. I would hesitate to recommend it to any of them the same way I'd hesitate to recommend Silence of the Lambs to most other trans people.

Secondly this comic is Extremely Gay (a definite positive!) however it is Extremely Gay in a way that kinda requires some onboarding and analysis to properly parse and that is actually why this post was edited:

The first time I read this comic, my impression was that it was vitriolically homophobic. Considering that at the time I had heard many things about Grant Morrison, and none of them good, I went with my gut. I put here that while I would defend Jason's characterization, I couldn't in good faith recommend something so bigoted, detailed what felt bigoted, and went on with my day.

Then a while later I saw a post that I suspect was talking about this one saying something along the lines of "How the hell could you call Grant Morrison, who gave us so many of our most iconic gay characters, homophobic? The racism and such I can understand but homophobic? No."

To which my initial response was a resounding: Wha??? Like, genuinely how was I supposed to read this and not get homophobia out of it?? But I went and looked Morrison up and yeah sure enough the guy's queer so I dug deeper and mulled it over until I figured out what the fuck I was missing. So, this section is a correction and an apology about that earlier homophobia claim. Sorry about that.

The styling of this queerness are highly akin to that of the John Waters movie Pink Flamingos which I'll let Matt Baume explain better than I ever could. This guy right here is pretty much the perfect example, Hell, he's even literally named The Flamingo.

Essentially it's queerness is all aggressive, unapologetic, and designed to be provocatively shocking, which can be jarring if you're not ready to flow with it. Also he likely had to arrange a lot of things to get around censorship, same as Judd Winick did. For instance the fact that Dick spoke the same circus lingo as the troupe of Very Queer Freakshow Workers who destroy the police precinct was meant to imply that Dick is Very Queer too. Pretty sure he would've said that in a far less convoluted way if he could've.

So, with the bulk of my initial reservations about this comic disproven... I have no choice but to straight up recommend it to anyone who thinks they can jive with this vibe of storytelling!

Jason's sanity level: One out of Ten hinges affixed. Obsessive, not taking care of himself, possessed of some really maladaptive trauma coping frameworks, completely unhinged. My condolences to his mental health, but I do love to see it.

Jason's moral compass bearing: Antihero. It's weird because this is undeniably a much darker comic, and Jason certainly feels darker, but in terms of what he actually does, and what the other characters do, his violence is honestly very tame.

So, cards on the table, here is the core of who Jason is to me:

He's got clear moral motives and a drive to help as well as harm, though violence and harm are the main ways in which he tries to improve the world.

When confronted he does not back down; he does not let himself be overshadowed or silenced. He is confident in his decisions and every bit of push back is already accounted for in his head.

Everything he does is premeditated. He is not impulsive. His plans may sometimes be unhinged but they are methodically planned.

He is painfully sincere, the way fire is painfully hot.

He desperately desires love and connection, but it will take many years of constant rejection and fighting before he is willing to accept any kind of compromise to his ethics for the sake of civility.

Under all the hurt and combativeness, he's a pretty goofy guy! He's got a sense of fun and likes to be flamboyant and silly when he can!

He's a villain, a hero, a protagonist, an antagonist, and everything between the extremes. He exists as a powerful counter-thesis to Batman, and as such DC can't ever fully answer the question of what to do with him. He exists in this waffling limbo state as his morals are debated, stretched, refuted, turned on their head. I think that makes him a wonderfully fascinating character to love.

I hope you enjoyed this and, like, go have fun reading comics!

[elizabethwritesmen]

The Devil Wears Lace

chapter 5 : July 4, 2023

pairing: simon “ghost” riley x reader

summary: it’s 4th of july and your favorite soldier shows up at the firework show. you spend a little time with him and get a little drunk, resulting in some bad decision. everything is ok though, as long as he’s there with you.

warnings: 18+ for eventual smut, pining, no use of y/n, reader is almost forced into a pool, angry simon, possessive simon, fireworks, someone flirts with reader, i think that’s all but let me know if i missed anything!

series masterlist

July 4, 2023

A year had passed since my kidnapping.

It was surreal, really. I liked to brush off the experience like it had been nothing but it took a week in the hospital to detox me from all the drugs those guys had pumped in me and two months for my leg to completely heal. It wasn’t the kind of thing you just… forget about. The trauma was gone, though, mostly, but what was left creeped in once I realized it was the anniversary of it.

And then the worst thought crept in. What if they came back? One failed attempt so they try again?

I shrugged off those thoughts, returning to my outfit search. I’d tried on a million options, and upon seeing them on me, decided they were awful and should burn. Because of this what can only be described as character flaw, most of my clothes were strewn across my bed and floor haphazardly after being ripped violently and angrily from my body. I sighed, accepting defeat, and found my safe choice. A cream colored American flag sweater, just thin enough to wear on the beach, and a pair of light wash daisy dukes with rips and exposed pockets. I yanked on my birk style sandals and called it a day.

I rushed out the door with my hair pulled messily into a white claw clip and my makeup done in a rush, mascara just barely smeared and a thin layer of lip balm. I jumped into my car, speeding to the beach where the firework show was to be held.

Normally, I would’ve had to work, but Sabrina’s husband’s family just happened to be the owners of the bar and he decided to close for the night so everybody could enjoy the holiday. This was mostly due to pestering from Sab and I, but that was fine, considering we got what we wanted in the end.

Once I got there, I parked right beside her husband, Dylan’s truck. Once they saw me, they climbed out and we all walked to find a spot together.

“There are a lot of people here already,” I commented as we found a free space at the end of the pier, right in front of the water.

“Probably trying to get good spots like the one we just got,” Sabrina wiggled her eyebrows.

“You know who might be coming?” Dylan asked me with a smirk that made me nervous. I stood, waiting for him to tell me, and he bit, “Connor.”

Connor worked with me when I first started at the bar, but he’d quit after a few months to take a job offer in another city. He was nice, adorable and likable. He was never immune to my charms but he was much more respectful than any of the other men I used them on. We’d hung out and, well, made out a few times before he moved away. I never really cared about him or anything, so his leaving was fine with me, but I did miss having a man around that wasn’t creepy or strange or icky in the slightest. Of course, now I had Ghost, but was he really around? Not much. So what harm could flirting with Connor for the evening do?

“You invited him?” I asked, brows furrowed, “I knew you guys were friends but I didn’t realize you kept in touch.”

“Yeah, he has plans with his family today and came here for them, but he said he’ll probably be done early and head here.”

“Interesting,” Sabrina grinned, “Sounds like a good chance for you to get laid.”

I threw my water bottle at her, “Not everything is about sex, Sab!”

“Well it sure hasn’t been for you lately.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“You’ve been stuck on Ghost for a year, flirting around with him and waiting for him like an army wife or something. And in that time, have you had sex or even done anything with anyone at all?” I cast my eyes downward, the truth in her words hitting me like ice water. “Exactly. I’m just saying, you need to get out of this rut or you’re gonna be hung up on a man you’ll never have for the rest of your life.”

Sabrina was always one for tough love. She never lied, and she only ever said exactly what she thought a person needed to hear.

“You know, I never really slept around even before I met Ghost,” My contradiction was weak against her words.

“I know. But I also know that’s the only thing that might get him off your mind and turn you back into a man’s worst nightmare.”

“Fine. You’re right. Hopefully Connor will stop by.”

“Atta girl!” She grinned, high fiving me with both hands as we settled into the chairs Dylan had carried out for us.

“Not to, uh, ruin this moment for you ladies or anything, but who is Ghost?” Dylan asked, seeming thoroughly confused.

“The guy I told you about, that always wears the mask. The one who saved her last year.”

“Oh!” recognition flashed on his face, “Somehow I’ve missed him every time he’s been here.”

“Well then you’ve also missed the googly eyes she makes at him.”

“I’m sitting right here!” I huffed, crossing my arms.

We hung out there for a couple hours, chatting and drinking a little more than we really needed to. I was nice and buzzed by the time night fell, and I looked around, surveying all the people there.

What I wasn’t expecting to see was Ghost and his three buddies a little ways away from us. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and I didn’t know whether that was a blessing or a curse. Did I have it in me to ignore him and just have a good night with my friends?

Of course I didn’t.

“Sabrina!” I hissed, smacking her on the arm until she paid attention to me. When she finally looked up from whatever she was doing on her phone, I gestured aggressively with my head to the guys in question.

“Fuck, who’d have thought? You gonna go say hi?”

“I don’t know, they haven’t seen me yet. It would be weird for me to just-“

“They see you now,” she raised a brow and gave them a slight finger wave, and I turned to see that they were, in fact, looking at me. Even him.

“Do you think they even want me to walk over there?” I asked.

“Of course they do, stupid, those boys are wrapped around your finger. Go!”

“No,” I sighed, “If he wants to talk to me badly enough he’ll come over here.”

“You and your dumbass hoe rules,” she rolled her eyes at me.

“They’re not dumb and I’m not a hoe!”

“Wait,” Dylan furrowed his brows, “That’s the man? The myth? The legend?” I nodded, giggling. “He’s fucking huge!”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Hell no, I’m guy crushing. Now I don’t resent Sabrina for telling me he’s hot.”

“You told your husband you think Ghost is hot?” I snorted at her, and she shrugged.

“He told me he thinks Angelina Jolie is hot. It was only fair.”

“So you guys just… share your gay crushes with each other? Any more you want to tell me about?”

“Well we’ve both agreed we’d have a threesome but only with you-“ Sabrina didn’t finish her statement, but I heard enough and reached my hand up to shut her up.

“I want to forget you told me that.”

“Fuck,” she gasped, “He’s coming over.”

“Really?” my tone was pathetic, too excited for my own good.

“You were right, I was wrong. Your hoe rules are not dumb!”

Before I could respond, he cleared his throat from behind me. I turned slowly, feeling his presence before I even saw him.

“Hey,” I grinned, and almost looked like he did too, under the mask.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he said, his voice the same rough melody as always.

“Well… I live here, and basically the entire town showed up, so..”

“That’s true.”

“What’s more weird is you being here. Considering this is a day to celebrate the US ditching England and you’re English.”

He shrugged, “I like American Independence Day. It’s interesting.”

“Interesting how?”

“Right now, the interesting part is you.”

I fought off the butterflies. Really and truly, I did, with everything I had in me.

“If you just came over here to flatter me, you can go ahead and go back to your friends,” I smirked, eyes narrow.

“Actually I came over to see if you’d wanna come say hi to them.”

“Awwww, so they sent you over here? And I thought you came over because you like me.”

Sabrina and Dylan had amused expressions on their faces, but neither said a word as they watched the exchange.

“They were just gonna wave you over but I told them I wanted to come ask you. Does that answer satisfy you?”

“I’m never satisfied,” I clicked my tongue, but I stood from my seat anyway, lightly grabbing his arm and letting him lead me away. “Be right back!” I called as I left, and my two friends waved goodbye to me, laughing.

“There she is!” Soap cheered as I approached, and a grin broke out over my face. “We started to think you didn’t wanna talk to us!”

“Was just waiting for Lieutenant Dan over here to notice me is all,” I hummed jokingly, getting on my tiptoes to pat Ghost on the head.

“Lieutenant… Dan?” he furrowed his brows, staring down at me, confused as ever.

“You’ve never seen Forrest Gump?” I practically shouted, mouth hanging open stupidly, and he shook his head. “That’s it, you guys are coming over to my place one of these days and we’re gonna watch it.”

“Fine with us,” Gaz shrugged, taking a sip of the drink in his hand.

Ghost still looked apprehensive and confused, so I told him in the sweetest voice I could manage, “Lieutenant Dan is super cool. I had a little crush on him the first time I watched the movie.” At that, his features relaxed, but they tensed again when the boys around us whistled.

“I think she’s got a little crush on you, Ghost,” Price laughed, and Ghost glared but I just giggled.

“I never said I didn’t,” I shrugged with a wink and the whistles got worse. “But I never said I did, either.”

We caught up, they told me as much as they could about what they had been up to but it wasn’t a lot at all. I noticed the more I saw them, the comfier they got speaking to me.

Then, I noticed Connor walking up the pier out of the corner of my eye, his own eyes already on me. A bright smile lit up his face and he picked up his pace to get to my side.

“Connor!” I squeaked as he pulled me into a huge hug, spinning me around in a circle and then waiting an extra second to let me go.

“Hey, sweet cheeks,” he winked, “You look good.”

“I look the same,” I scoffed.

“I know,” his voice was coy and I rolled my eyes, stepping back to put a tiny bit of distance between us, hyper aware of Ghost’s eyes burning into me.

“I can’t believe you made it,” I spoke, more tense than I normally would’ve been but I don’t think anyone picked up on it. I felt so awkward. I’d started the day with the intention of flirting with him, and doing anything I could to make him want me, and now I was a puddle for another man I didn’t even expect to see.

“Of course I made it,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You’re here. I’d never miss a chance to see you while I’m in town.”

“I seem to have that affect on men,” I snorted, sparing a glance to Ghost and instantly regretting it. His eyes were hot, and they just about set me on fire, making my whole body feel tense and preyed upon.

“You always have,” Connor looked me up and down then, clearly liking what he saw, “Where are the lovebirds?”

“Over there,” I pointed to the end of the pier and he nodded.

“You gonna come join us anytime soon?” he asked.

“If you stay on your best behavior, I’ll consider it,” I smirked and he laughed all the way down to Dylan and Sabrina.

“You two seemed familiar,” Soap hummed, tone playful but eyes wary.

“He used to work with me but he moved away. This is the first time I’ve seen him in a couple years or so.”

“Guess time didn’t make him like you any less.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Why don’t you guys come down to the end, with us? The view is better, and I don’t wanna leave you but I can’t ditch them.”

“Fine by me,” Price shrugged, and the others agreed. Ghost didn’t want to, but they talked him into it, saying it was either hang out with me or stand there alone.

“Finally decided we were worth your time?” Sabrina jabbed as we approached, and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re always worth my time, baby girl,” I leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, “I was just having a chat.”

“Get a room, you two,” Dylan joked at our girly display of affection.

“Can’t, you married her before I had the chance,” I pouted, and they both laughed. I was straight as they come, but I still liked to joke about being gay for her. She was my best friend. What girl doesn’t do that?

“If anyone is getting a room with this one, it’s gonna be me,” Connor leaned around me to kiss me on the cheek and I all but cringed, shying away from him.

“‘This one’ isn’t getting a room at all, so don’t go getting your hopes up,” I was stern, but tried to be nice and protect the peace. I’d expected him to flirt with me. It’s not his fault I have a very angry looking Ghost watching over me and making me feel dizzy with need, my tummy a little sick from all the butterflies in there flying against my rib cage.

“See your mouth hasn’t changed much,” he just laughed, turning back to the side of the pier and leaning on the railing.

I approached Ghost, opting to root myself by him instead of by Connor. I wanted him to know that he was the one I’d rather have. It was silly, really, I shouldn’t have cared, but I did. I wouldn’t risk doing anything that would make him not want to see me again. I needed him to want to see me again.

This action didn’t go unnoticed by everyone else, their eyebrows raised but they stayed silent. Ghost just grabbed my arm and pulled me half an inch closer, satisfied with my choice, and I half smiled.

“Hey hot stuff,” Sabrina began speaking to me, “After the fireworks we’re going back to mine and hanging out by the pool. You down?”

“Are we all invited?” I gestured to the four men beside me and she nodded.

“Of course! I wouldn’t leave anyone out,” her tone of voice was the same as all the times she joked about Ghost and I.

“Then yeah, that sounds good. You guys wanna come?”

“I’d rather hang out there than some crowded bar,” Gaz shrugged, and the others nodded. Once again, all except Ghost.

“Come on, Ghosty, you’re not gonna let me go all alone are you?” I spoke, only loud enough for him to hear.

“You’ll have Connor with you.” He spat the name out like it disgusted him.

“I don’t want him with me. I want you. Besides, all your boys are coming. Please?” That one word did him in, his eyes meeting mine in a heated gaze.

“I’ll come.”

I smiled victoriously as we all settled in to watch the fireworks that were about to start. He placed his hand on the small of my back and lead me to the edge so I’d have a better view, which was shockingly sweet for the gruff man.

An hour or so later, we were all doing our thing by Dylan and Sabrina’s pool. I was laying in a lawn chair, drink in hand, on the border between tipsy and drunk, a giggling mess. At some point, everyone became comfortable with each other. Or at least, everyone but Ghost. He sat right beside me in the other lawn chair, watching over me carefully.

“You’re weird,” I hummed out, reaching out to tap him.

“You’re drunk,” he countered.

“That’s why you’re watching me so close? Cause I’m drunk?”

He cast his eyes downward, “Guess so.”

I let out a laugh, the embarrassing kind that I would inevitably regret the next day, attempting to stand up but wobbling on my legs. I just about fell but he steadied me.

“I’m gonna go get another, you want anything, silly little Ghost?” the sentence came out a slurred string of words, but he understood.

“No thank you, love,” he sounded kind, like he thought it was nice I asked, “Are you sure you need another?”

“One more won’t hurt me,” I shrugged, turning away to stumble over to the cooler and pull out yet another bottle. I found my way back beside him and plopped back down.

I couldn’t manage to get the cap off, and it was making me increasingly angry. Finally, Ghost grabbed it from me with a chuckle and took it off for me.

“So sexy when you do stuff for me,” I hummed, taking it from him and taking a long sip.

“That needs to be your last one,” he ordered and I giggled again.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“If you’d make the right choice on your own, I wouldn’t have to.”

I rolled my eyes, throwing the bottle back again. When I put it back down, Connor was in my line of sight, chuckling about something with Sabrina.

“Hey sweet cheeks, I got a real question for you,” he smirked at me, and I groaned.

“Oh God help me, what is it?”

“Will you jump in the pool with me like old times?” he implored, voice hopeful and I snorted.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Come on, you love bad ideas. You always have. Every time we’ve been here, we’ve jumped in the pool, don’t let this be the first time we don’t!” I still looked hesitant, and I was hesitant. I didn’t want to do it. Especially not with Simon right there, watching my every move, looking for any reason not to want anything to do with me. “Unless you’re scared?” Connor kept going. “You weren’t scared of anything when I knew you. Guess you’ve changed.”

His voice was a challenge and I knew it was a trap, but I fell right into it, indignantly arguing, “I am not scared.”

“Prove it, then. Strip.”

We got locked in a stare down before I huffed, standing from my seat, still wobbly but my determination giving me a boost. Simon helped steady me once again, still looking at me, assessing the situation.

“Fine,” I shrugged as I yanked my sweater over my head then unbuttoned my shorts and pulled them down, leaving a trail of clothes on my way to the pool. Once I got there, all I had on was my lace bra and underwear, cute and purple. I didn’t even think before going for it, jumping haphazardly into the deep end, the rush of water hitting me like a train. I felt it shift around me and knew he’d jumped in right after me as I fought to get to the surface.

I finally broke through, and took a deep breath in, laughing the loudest I had all night. Sabrina and Dylan cheered for us, mumbling on about how familiar it was to see us in their pool. I risked a glance at Ghost. He was expressionless. Well, from what I could tell.

I made my way to the side of the pool, crossing my arms there and laying my head on them.

“You’re staring,” I hummed.

“You look fucked out. You need to go fix your makeup.”

I blushed, and I knew he saw it because his eyes perked up.

“Help me out, then,” I pleaded, reaching one hand out towards him and he stared at it for a moment before making his way towards me and grabbing it. He used it to tug me up while simultaneously wrapping his other arm around my middle and pulling me out.

“You’re not gonna swim with me?” Connor pouted from the pool, and I shrugged.

“I proved my point. Swim alone.”

Ghost’s glare shut him up after that, and we headed inside to the bathroom. He left the door open behind us but we still had a sense of privacy that had never been there before.

“Here,” he sighed, opening the bag of makeup wipes that Sab had on the counter and retrieving one then using it to wipe my face. “You feel good about what you just did?”

“Well I don’t feel bad about it, if that’s what you’re asking.” He grunted. “Everyone enjoyed it but you, Ghost.”

“Yeah because everyone out there wanted to see you half naked.”

“What, you didn’t? You don’t like what you see or something?”

“I didn’t say that,” his voice was deadly, as if he was chastising me. “That wasn’t smart. You’re drunk.”

“And you’re jealous.”

“I’m telling you that you made a dangerous decision and you’re accusing me of being jealous?”

“It wasn’t dangerous, first of all. I’ve done worse than that while I was drinking. And second of all, yeah. You’re jealous. You can admit it.” He stayed quiet, finishing up my face and going to walk out but I grabbed his wrist, tugging him back. “I’ve been rejecting him in the nicest way possible all night long.”

“Why?”

“Because I was scared if I didn’t, you’d decide I wasn’t worth coming back for again.”

“You can do what you want, it’s none of my business.”

“I know.”

“You can flirt back. You can damn near fuck him right in front of me and I’ll still seek you out the next time I’m here. You don’t have to worry one bit about that.”

“Is that a promise?” I asked, and he nodded, hand cupping my cheek. “I don’t wanna flirt with him. It’s pathetic is what it is. He came here tonight for me, thinking he was gonna get in these little lace panties, and the second I saw you he was an afterthought.”

His gaze was hotter than it ever had been, pupils a little wider when I risked those words. His voice was husky, going straight through me, “How rude of you.”

“You like me pathetic, huh? You like that I’m a little desperate?”

“You’re not desperate,” he chuckled.

“I am for you.”

He groaned, his masked face falling into the crook of my neck as his hands ghosted over my hips.

“Come on, let’s get back out there,” he pulled himself away and walked out, and I made no attempt to stop him that time, still trying to catch my breath.

A moment later I managed to compose myself, and I followed outside, laying back in my lawn chair. I was still a bit wet so I didn’t bother putting my clothes back on yet, but I was shivering slightly from the cold.

“Took you long enough,” Ghost mumbled from beside me and I rolled my eyes at him, leaning even further back, my eyes shutting. All the alcohol was getting to me, making me a little sleepy.

“You’re going to sleep?” The voice was Connor’s, and it was close. Before I could even respond, I was being picked up and held tightly in arms that didn’t feel like Ghost’s. My eyes shot open to see Connor carrying me towards the water.

“What’re you doing?” I asked loudly, squirming to get away. He just chuckled, clutching me tighter.

“Waking you up,” his voice was breathless as he laughed and I started struggling harder against him.

“Let me go! Please, let me go, fuck, God-!” I was full on wrestling him now to get away, not wanting to go back in the water. Thinking how wrong it was for him to throw me in there. He always used to do stuff like that when he’d lived close, and I hadn’t minded then, but I was drunk and it was late and-

My thoughts cut off there as he was yanked back from the edge by his shoulder.

“She said she wanted to be let go.” Ghost was standing there, looking as angry as ever.

“Chill, dude, this is our thing. We’ve always done stuff like this together, she’s fine,” Connor huffed incredulously.

“Does she look fine to you?”

They looked down at me, my lip trembling, fully uncomfortable in Connor’s arms.

“Connor, please put me down,” I tried one last time, “I don’t wanna be thrown in the water. I’m cold and drunk and-“

“Give her to me.” Ghost’s tone was not a playing one, sending shivers even down my spine and I could not imagine how Connor wasn’t cracking under that pressure. “Now.”

Connor sighed, nodding, setting me down next to Ghost who pulled me close into his chest, hand stroking my wet hair and wiping my cheeks where I hadn’t realized tears were falling.

“I’m sorry,” Connor looked at me and it sounded like he really meant it. “I just - we used to do shit like this all the time. I didn’t think you would care.”

“It’s ok,” I sniffled, snuggling closer into the broad expanse of man I was leaning against, soaking up the warmth for all it was worth.

“I’m gonna take her home, I think she’s had enough for one night.” I nodded as Ghost spoke, his arms even tighter than they’d been to begin with. “Get your clothes, come on,” he whispered into my hair and I did as asked, grabbing my shirt and shorts and slipping my shoes on. I gave Connor a quick goodbye hug and waved goodbye to the rest of my friends and his, who opted to stay for a while longer. They said they’d come pick Ghost up from wherever he needed, and he nodded as we left for the night.

He opened the passenger side door of my car for me and helped me in, frowning as I shivered against the biting night air. “Put your clothes on, sweetheart,” he suggested and I shook my head.

“Don’t feel - hiccup - like it,” my voice was practically a whine and he nodded, walking over to the driver’s side. On his way, be noticed a blanket in the back seat, and when he was situated in the car, he grabbed it and placed it over me. I cuddled into it, appreciating the gesture.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, as serious as I’d ever seen him.

“‘m fine,” my voice was weak, and I didn’t really understand why I was so upset. I’d been thrown into the water before. I never enjoyed it, but it never made me cry.

“Yeah? Doesn’t seem like it.”

“I don’t know why I’m so bothered,” I shrugged, “Guess with everything that’s happened to me I just felt scared. I don’t like… I don’t like feeling like I can’t get away from someone. Not if I don’t trust them.”

“You said you’ve known him for a long time, you don’t trust him?”

“Not like -“ I paused, wondering if I should say the next part, “Not like I trust you.”

He chuckled darkly, hand falling down to my stretched out knee and rubbing.

“You don’t know me at all,” he pointed out.

“I know you a little better than you think,” I huffed, “You’ve saved me three times now. You wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

He clicked his tongue, turning the car on and pulling away, following my directions to my house. He was gentle with me the entire time until my tears stopped and I was half asleep in the seat, head slumped and eyes hazy.

He pulled in the driveway, slipping out of the car and picking me up, leaving the blanket and my clothes behind.

Once we got to the door, he took one arm off of me just long enough to unlock it with my key and walked me inside, barely caring to get a look at the place at all as he walked to the hallway in search of my bedroom.

“It’s the one at the end,” I offered and he nodded, finding it and letting himself in, laying me down on my bed.

“I’m sure you wanna get out of your wet…. clothes,” he vaguely gestured to me, “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Don’t leave me here,” I gasped out, reaching desperately for his hand, “Don’t leave me here alone. I’m not ready for you to go yet.”

His eyes widened and he leaned back into me, crowding me and promising, “I’m not goin’ anywhere, just leavin’ the room to give you privacy to clean up.”

“Oh,” I hummed, relief settling in.

“You could say please, though,” his voice had that husk in it again, and I grinned.

“I don’t think I have to, you’re gonna stay either way.”

He tutted, “Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear it.”

I thought for a moment. “Fine,” I smirked, then, in the most seductive voice I could manage, I leaned up and drawled, “Please.”

His pupils blew wide and he nodded, his hand exploring my face, cupping my cheek, squeezing my chin and making my lips pucker, and then it drifted into more dangerous territory, resting around my throat. My breath hitched and he chuckled, giving one small squeeze before his touch disappeared. He walked out of the room, laughing all the way.

I rolled my eyes, going to my dresser to get clothes. I was still too sleepy to shower or anything but I at least wanted to wear something that covered me and didn’t smell like chlorine. I pulled on a T shirt and a fresh pair of panties, not bothering with more. Ghost had already seen me in just my undies, why did it matter? Then I went to the bathroom and thoroughly cleaned my face and brushed my damp and stringy hair.

Once I was done, I left my room and searched for him, finding him in the living room, lounged back on the couch like he belonged there. Wordlessly, I sat beside him, and he hummed, pulling me into his side and tucking me there comfortably.

He was so warm, I couldn’t help but sigh, sinking into him. My mind drifted to places it shouldn’t be, imagining sinking into his arms all the time. Imagining having his warmth forever. I pushed that away. Those were not feelings I needed to unpack.

Finally, I glanced up at the TV to see he’d found Forrest Gump and it was ready to play.

“Really?” I asked, the ghost of a smile on my lips.

“Wanted to see what this Lieutenant Dan was all about,” he shrugged, clicking the button and starting it.

I couldn’t pay much attention, I was much too content to just relax into his hold. I checked my phone, seeing a few missed texts from Sabrina asking if I was okay, apologizing for Connor, and of course, some innuendos about Ghost and me.

“You two have an interesting friendship.” I looked up at him as he said it and laughed.

“How so?”

“Doesn’t seem like you like each other very much.”

“That’s just how we are,” I shrugged, “She’s my best friend, we just like being mean to each other.” He grunted in response, prompting me to turn back to the movie. It didn’t take long for me to drift off, snuggled deep into him and feeling more safe and taken care of than I ever had.

I woke up to the feeling of being carried and opened my eyes slowly just as Ghost laid me in bed.

“The team is here to pick me up. I’ve got to go.”

I pouted, not ready to let him go just yet.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“You shouldn’t drink so much, sweetheart, it makes you sappy,” he chuckled, but the look he gave me was pitiful and it only made me want him to stay more.

“I’m not being sappy, I’m being honest. I don’t do that a lot, be grateful for it.”

He sighed, sitting down beside me and stroking my hair. “I’ll be back. I don’t know when but I promise I will.”

I nodded, trying hard not to drift back to sleep, wanting those last few moments with him.

My eyes widened as he lifted his mask to his nose, exposing the stubble on his chin and cheeks. He leaned down, taking my cheeks in his hands and kissing my forehead.

Oh, I was fucked.

His lips felt so good, I was addicted and he hadn’t even kissed me properly. I felt myself getting a little closer to the edge of the cliff I was bound to fall off of.

He pulled away slightly, still close enough for me to feel his warmth, and I sighed, eyes on his lips.

“You gonna give me a real kiss, soldier?”

“Not when you’re all tired and drunk like this,” he shook his head, brushing his thumb across my lips then pulling away.

“Ghost,” I called as he made his way to the door, “Goodbye.”

“Bye, sweetheart. Get some sleep.”

[castawavy]

November Save MEGA summary (part 2)

before / next

hope you all enjoyed the previous summary, it was a nice walk down memory lane for me 😁❤ anyways let's just jump into the next one

so basically overall steve was really HATING working at Hogan's but June was just doing really well in general (enough to be the main earner in the household essentially so steve was able to quit his job)

june attempted to wingwoman raj again because things didnt really work out with kamala... LMAO

on friday she took a day off and decided to go for a job interview to join an in-house legal team

and very quickly she learned shed got the job 😁🤸‍♀️💖

on monday she let her manager Margot know she was resigning and officially handed in her resignation to the boss, boss, Jared. they were all super happy for her, and june was grateful to have had a good time working with them all

THEN, after that she visited her mom for awhile (who lives in Brindleton Bay, and caught up with her without steve or the kids)

that same weekend it was adelaide's birthday and they threw her a modest party (they are always paycheck to paycheck kinda ngl but june's recent job change / promotion means that things are getting better

bonus shot of the kids being EXTRA cute (they get on really well) 💖

very VERY soon after that, june attended a conference in Tartosa with her new team, which was a great chance to get to know everyone...

UNFORTUNATELY things got a bit flirty at the dinner 🌹😢 and the brunette guy behind june flirted with June and she did it back 😵 and yeah... nothing else happened but YIKES. my interpretation of june is honestly that she got a taste of what her life could have been like, without steve... the kids... bills etc, and she got a bit carried away by the glitz and glam of it all 🤷‍♀️ (sorry I do like my sims to have flaws, & like everyone else june is not perfect </3), but yeah as I said nothing else happened and june immedietaly felt AWFUL about it as she should (shes a loyal trait sim) 😘 but she did look stunning that night

when she got home it was extra bad as well because she had to face steve (and the kids) and it made he realise how lucky she had it, cuz steve also got her some champagne to celebrate her new job ☠😂

so... june confessed and told steve about what happened, and ngl even I was suprised he took it so well and was understanding + I think he appreciated she told him right away

also right after he mentioned marriage??? I think the two of them needed to talk about it cuz june always saw herself getting married I think and steve hadnt really considered it...

BUT YEAH drama / crisis averted AHAHAH sorry this seems really fast but I promise it had been brewing for some time - I think out of the two of them, unfortunately june is just a little bit more insecure than steve, because she has set so many expectations on herself & her mother growing up was very strict with her </3 overall I know she invisioned her life going differently, but when faced with that actual opportunity she didnt take it 😘❤🤸‍♀️

bonus picture of steve because we havent seen him for awhile now and hes gotten a lot healthier recently / working on himself and his mental health a bit (not quit smoking yet though) also raj came over and june seemed more like his best friend than steve because they were joking around so much 😂😂😂

also omg then adie had a bear phase...

😁 and that's a wrap for this summary but PHEW a lot of focus on june this time (I always love giving my sims really complex spouses)

before / next

[sweetprfct]

When Sara Falls In Love

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: When your best friend, Sara, falls in love, she knows what she wants. When you fall in love, you run away to avoid it. But how long could you avoid the person that you're in love with? How long until you realize you're not your best friend but you're your own person in the most beautiful flawed way?

Author's Note: One of my favorite one shots to write. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 18+, smut

Wordcount: 4.2K

You watched as Sara paced the floor in front of you. She hasn’t sat down since she had arrived back in your flat, and she hasn’t said one word to you as to why she was pacing the floor. Though, you knew Sara all too well. You two had been friends since primary school, and you knew what was going on inside her mind when she paced the floor and couldn’t get one word out.

“So, who’s the guy?” You asked, your eyes following her pace as you sat still on the sofa.

“No one.” She answered, shaking her head.

You rolled your eyes at her answer, knowing that it was a complete lie. Sara paces when she likes someone. You learned that over the years. Sara can’t say a word when she knows she has fallen harder for someone. Considering she was doing both at the moment, you knew she was in deep with whoever this person was. You gave her a minute just like how you always do until she was calm and ready to talk. After a few more paces, you watched Sara walk towards the bathroom and closed the door behind her and locked it. 

When Sara falls in love, she always needs space. She needed space to think. She needed space to organize all her emotions and when she was ready to talk, she'd come to you. Just like how she came to you after fifteen minutes of locking herself in the bathroom. You sat still on your sofa, eyes just directly on the television in front of you. Sara finally exited the bathroom just as you were drinking your tea.

“It’s Wes.” She blurted out.

You spit the tea that you were drinking and stared at her with wide eyes. Did you hear that right? Did she really just said Wes?

“I’m sorry?” You asked, wiping the tea that was dripping from your chin with your sleeve. “Did I hear that right? Wes?”

Sara nodded her head and sat next to you. “I was up all night talking to my mom about it.”

“And?” You raised a brow at her. 

“I told her how I have never realized it before, but he makes me happy, and I know he could be such a player—”

“Uh.. yeah!” You scoffed.

“But he’s different when he’s with me.” Sara gave you a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with just the thought of him. “I even joked with my mom that I know this isn’t probably going to end well, but I don’t know. It feels different.” 

You watched as your best friend glowed from the way she talked about Wes. She mentioned how she wanted to take it slow because she wanted this to be different and a more mature relationship than her past ones. You listened as Sara told you all the stories that happened between her and Wes for the past five months. You knew how Sara was when she fell in love with someone but somehow, her glow was different this time. You could see it. You could feel it radiating out of her. 

“He’s throwing a party tomorrow night and I’d love it if you could come with me.” Sara smiled excitedly. “Joe will be there.”

Joe. 

Wes’ best friend and the one man that you have been secretly falling for in the last couple of years. When Sara falls in love, she always made sure she knew what she wanted and made sure that she really wanted this. When you fall in love, you never think about it. You go for it right away and that was why you always have your heart broken. So, the thought of seeing Joe at the party got you immediately saying yes to Sara’s invite. 

Just like that, tomorrow night came fast enough that you found yourself next to Sara at Wes’ front door. The party was loud and full of people you barely knew. Some you have known through Wes and Joe but some, they were unfamiliar faces. 

How did Wes find all these people? 

Taking your hand in hers, Sara dragged you inside and into the kitchen, finding Wes and Joe drinking beer and making jokes with their friends. You watched as Sara let go of your hand and went to talk—and flirt— with Wes. It looked so easy for her and maybe because Wes felt the same for her. You couldn’t blame him. Sara was the kind of girl that anyone won’t be able to resist because she was kind, funny and smart. She could get frustrated easily with certain things and get upset when the people she cares about were hurt but any man would be so lucky if they gave a chance to love her.

You, however, were the total opposite. You just go with whatever you want without thinking about the end result. You get frustrated about every little thing, and you always lose yourself when it comes to a guy. As you stood in the corner, watching Wes and Sara, you sort of wished you were her. You wished you were the same as her. 

“Wes and Sara. Who knew, right?” Your thoughts were interrupted by Joe.

You turned to see Joe smiling at you and handed you a bottle of beer. “Thanks, and I know. Something I still am trying to wrap my head around it.”

“Wes said they are taking it slow though.” Joe stated, shrugging his shoulders. 

Your eyes widened from the little sentence that Joe just said. Wes was okay with that? Wes? The man that couldn’t even go a week without sleeping with two to three girls? Your eyes darted back to where Sara and Wes were at the corner of the room, laughing and flirting with one another. Maybe Sara was right. He was different with her.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure that’s something you can’t do.” You teased Joe, turning your attention back to him.

“Excuse me?” He laughed softly, chocolate button eyes widening. “I haven’t gone out with anyone for months.”

“Right, but if you did, you would easily just ghost her after sleeping with her for a night.” Your eyes scanned Joe before a playful smile appeared on your face. “And why is that you haven’t gone out with anyone? You slept with the whole city of London already?” 

Joe also had a playful smile on his face as he took one step closer to you. “If I did, don’t you think we already have slept together?”

That one little sentence made you hitch your breath. That one sentence sent shivers down your spine as his eyes stared right into yours. You froze for a moment because how could Joe made you feel like this so easily? You needed to stop doing this to yourself.

“Gross.” You murmured, pushing him away from you gently. 

Joe chuckled softly, taking a sip of his beer before saying, “People change, you know.”

“People. Not you.” You argued back, rolling your eyes.

“If you say so.” Joe shook his head, laughing softly before walking away from you. 

You let out a deep breath and leaned against the wall. That was how your conversations with Joe always went. You always teased each other and flirted with each other like that, and Joe always knew how to leave you breathless. You watched as Joe made his way up the stairs, and your eyes turned to Sara and Wes, who had disappeared from the corner they were standing in earlier. When Sara falls in love, she disappears. You always end up not being able to find her until at the end of the night or when she texts you where she is. You couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head because that was just a normal thing now and just at the perfect time, your phone rang with a message from her saying that she has gone outside with Wes. 

“Of course.” You chuckled, putting away your phone. 

The rest of the night was dull. Sara was still gone, and you had talked to almost everyone at the party that you were getting bored with the conversations. So, you headed upstairs, hoping to find some peace and quiet but only to find Joe talking to some girl in the hall. Joe was always like that. He and Wes were such flirts to any girl they found attractive but then would easily ghost anyone that they sleep with. Though, you weren’t too sure about Wes anymore. You hoped that he truly changed for Sara. The moment you and Joe locked eyes, you scoffed and shook your head before heading to the bathroom.  

Typical of him. 

And when you exited the bathroom not moments later, you found Joe waiting outside the door for you.  

“What happened? You got bored already?” You shook your head, walking around him. 

“Yeah, she was boring.” He agreed, making you roll your eyes again. “Because she wasn’t you.”

There it was again. His stupid flirty words. 

You froze in your tracks when you felt Joe’s presence behind you. He was too close, and the alcohol in your system was making you braver than usual. You held your breath the moment you felt his body behind you and his warm breath on your ear. 

“Do you know why I haven’t gone out with anyone?” He whispered.

“Wh.. Why?” You stuttered your words, feeling breathless. 

“Because you’re the only one that has been running in my mind.” He replied. 

Oh, you couldn’t breathe. 

You couldn’t get one word out. You couldn’t even think of some kind of comeback that you usually would retort back at him. You held in your breath as you felt his hands on your hips, slowly turning you around to face him. 

“For months now.” He added. 

Oh, fuck Joe and his goddamn words that leaves you breathless. Fuck Joe and his goddamn warm hands that were slowly cupping your face and most of all fuck Joe for making you feel all these butterflies in your stomach and how he could make your knees go weak every time. 

“Joe…” You breathed deeply. “I—”

Before you could even finish with whatever you wanted to say, both of your and Joe’s grabby hands had grabbed each other’s faces and both lips had closed the gap between the both of you. 

Fuck Joe. 

Seriously, fuck him.

You found your fingers running through his curly hair as his hands gripped your hips tightly and pulled you closer to him as if your body wasn’t already against him. He kissed you so intensely but at the same time, he was careful enough not to hurt you. You pushed him against the wall, and you two stayed there for a few minutes, enjoying each other and making out like two little sixteen year olds in the hall. It didn’t take Joe long enough to grab you by the back of your legs and holsted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and walking you to his bedroom down the hall. Both of you were breathless as he set you down on his bed gently and for a moment, he just stared down at you, a small smile on his face. 

“What?” You asked. 

“You’re so stunning.” He murmured.

You felt the blood rush up to your face, and you slid your hand at the back of his head, leaning him down so you could kiss him again. This time, it was passionate and the fire radiating between the two of you made the room feel hot. You felt Joe’s fingers unbuttoning your shirt slowly as you did the same with his. He slipped your blouse off your shoulders and his fingers had found your back, unclasping your bra. You slid his shirt off his broad shoulders and threw it with the rest of the pile on his bedroom floor.

You felt vulnerable. You felt a bit insecure. 

But the way Joe was looking at you right now, it made it all go away. It was almost like he had wrapped all your insecurities in a box and locked it, throwing it in the ocean.

“So beautiful.” He whispered in your ear, his lips kissing every inch of your soft skin. 

His lips had found your jawline and down your neck and everything was hot. You were gasping for air in every kiss that he left in your body, and you wanted him. You needed him. Now.

“Joe—” You gasped as his mouth had found your chest and the little moans that escaped from your lips had shocked you because you never heard yourself made those noises before. 

Joe would suck and grab, and his fingers would play and stroke as you continued to let all those little noises escape from your mouth, and Joe loved it. He loved every noise. Every moan that escaped your lips, every noise that you made just for him. 

“Joe, please.” You whined softly, your hands had found his trousers and you were tugging on them.

“Easy, love.” He chuckled softly as he helped you unbutton his pants, and he was also quick to slide your skirt and throw them with the rest of your clothes on the floor. 

Joe was gentle and sweet, but he was also hot and intense. He helped you get up and let you stand on your knees turning your body around as he pressed his front on your back, and you were ready for him, but his next move got you gasping for air again. His lips have found your bare shoulder, while his arm has gone around your front, and his fingers curled inside of you, and god, you were so wet for him as he stroked you and let all those dirty moans escape your lips again. It didn’t take long for your body to start trembling, and Joe had turned you back around again, kissing you softly and letting you fall on the bed.

“Joe, I need you.” You whispered, kissing him. 

“Me too.” He replied, voice low and deep, letting himself gently slip inside of you, both of you gasping softly. 

As you had expected, it was a tight squeeze, and Joe let out a soft moan in your ear as he slowly moved with you. You were dizzy, and your hazy eyes were staring up at him. Your fingers had found his back as Joe started to move faster with you. There were no thoughts left in your mind because your whole body was shaking, and you were breathless. Both of your bodies were hot and sweaty, and you moaned Joe’s name when his mouth had found your boobs again, sucking on it lightly. 

“God, Joe.” You whimpered, fingers scratching down his back.

“Come for me.” He whispered, his lips finding yours. 

It took a few more moments as both of your bodies moved faster, and both of you were panting hard until you finally let out a scream. You were just glad that the music from downstairs was loud enough that no one could hear you. You came around him, and Joe was quick to also follow right behind you as he pulled himself out of you and moaned your name in your ear as he came. The absence of him inside of you made you miss him already as he let himself fall on the bed next to you, both of you still trying to catch your breaths.

Joe was sweet as he grabbed the comforter and laid it over you, pulling you close to him. You were exhausted, and you were breathless. Your mind was spinning, and you could barely even open your eyelids. You felt Joe plant a soft kiss on your hair before letting sleep finally overtook you. 

When morning came, you woke up and let your eyes wander around Joe’s room. It was the first time you had been in here, and it was exactly the way you imagined. Clean and organized. Letting your eyes fall at Joe sleeping peacefully next to you, your mind has now started running different scenarios. This was Joe. It was just a one night thing. As Joe fluttered his eyes open, he gave you a warm smile and both of you sat up on the bed as you pulled the comforter close to you. 

“I.. I should go.” You said.

“You don’t have to.” Joe replied.

“The… The night is over. We did what we did, so I should go.” 

Joe stared at you with furrowed brows as you let your legs swing over the bed and picked up your clothes from the floor and started putting them on.

“Hey, you don’t have to go.” Joe stated, putting on his boxers and walked around to where you were on the other side of the bed. 

“It’s fine.” You said, putting on your jacket. “You got what you wanted.”

“That’s not—”

“I’ll see you around.” You said before quickly running out the door. 

What were you thinking last night? God, it was Joe for fucks sake. He never took any woman seriously and the fact that you have now become a part of his list of all the women he slept with made you want to throw up. 

On the way back to your flat, you kept thinking how you just never made the right decisions all the time. You always went with your emotions but this time, you had run off from Joe before he could say anything that could make your heart shatter into a million pieces. Arriving in your flat, the place was quiet. You figured maybe Sara had also spent the night with Wes downstairs in that flat. Letting yourself fall on your bed, you couldn’t help but think about every kiss that still lingered on your skin from Joe last night. The way he held you, and the way he told you how beautiful you were. Though, your brain had told you that he probably had said that to a million other girls he had slept with. 

Instead of wracking your brain from all this overthinking, you decided to go make yourself some breakfast and not for too long, Sara had also arrived home with a smile hanging on her face. When Sara falls in love, everyone could see it in her face. It hangs in the air, and you could feel the happiness that surrounded her. 

“Amazing night?” You teased her.

“Shut up.” She chuckled softly. “How about you?”

You shrugged and didn’t say anything. When Sara falls in love, you could see it all over her face. When you fall in love, you deny it and act cold. Hearing your phone ring, you saw Joe’s caller ID, but you declined it and went on with your day. You avoided him. You avoided that feeling and most certainly, you avoided that talk about what happened. 

You avoided it so much that you had locked yourself inside the flat for a week and made sure that whenever Wes had come over to visit Sara, it was just him. No Joe. You weren’t the kind of girl that someone falls in love with. You weren’t like Sara who could change the bad boys into good boys. So, how come Joe kept calling all week? And when another week has gone by, you have started noticing how much Wes had truly changed when it came to Sara. Sara was right. He really was different now. You have seen them around your flat, and you couldn’t help but think about how she finally had found someone where her heart fits right in the palm of his hand. 

Little did Wes know that his world was about to change because of her. In a good way. When Sara falls in love, she doesn’t give up easily with them. She won’t walk away even when things are hard. But when you fall in love, you walk away easily to avoid any confrontation just like when you walked away the morning after that night. 

“So, are you ever going to give him a chance to talk?” Sara asked you one night when she had finished saying goodbye to Wes. 

“Huh?” You gazed up at her. 

Sara gave you a look as she sat next to you on the sofa. “Joe. Are you ever going to give him a chance?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, you think I didn’t hear your high heels clicking down the stairs that morning after the party?”

Your eyes widened. “You knew all this time? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because when you fall in love, you act cold and distant as if that was going to help you let your feelings go away.” Sara chuckled.

“I’m not like you, Sara.” You said, sighing. “I’m not the kind of girl who could change someone. I’m not the kind of girl that someone falls in love with. I’m the kind of girl who gets left behind even after she has given everything to them and lost herself along the way.”

“What?” Sara tilted her head, stunned. “I’m not perfect. I’m so flawed. Do you really think I changed Wes overnight? Do you know how many fights and arguments he and I got into all because of his behavior? Why do you think it took me so long to finally make it official with him?”

You didn’t know that. 

You were so caught up on wishing that you could be just like Sara that you didn’t even realize that it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies when it came to her relationship.

“We’re not like this all the time. We have misunderstandings. I get frustrated and get mad at him. He does the same with me. We’re both learning through all this. I didn’t change him. He did that himself because he wanted to.”

“Right, but I don’t know about Joe.” You shrugged.

“You wouldn’t know until you let him talk.” Sara said sternly. “Why do you think he hasn’t gone out with anyone for months? Why do you think I invited you to come to the party? And why do you think he hasn’t stopped calling for two weeks now?”

You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “How much do you know?”

“I know enough.” Sara replied. “You’re not me. You deal with your feelings differently the way I deal with mine differently. We’re different people but that doesn’t mean that one of us is more perfect than the other.”

“Thank you. Thank you for telling me that.” You both laugh softly before the both of you getting interrupted by a knock on the door. Your eyes darted towards the door and then back at Sara who was giving you a small grin. You gave her a glare, knowing exactly why she was giving you that look. 

“Don’t hate me for it.” Sara patted your knee before heading to her bedroom. “Don’t have too much fun either!” She called out through the closed door. 

You laughed softly, shaking your head as you got up from the sofa and opened the front door. There, Joe stood in front of you with his fist in the air about to knock again. 

“Hey.” He gave you a small smile.

“Hey.” You closed the door behind you. “Listen, I want to apologize for running out that day.”

“Yeah,” Joe chuckled, looking down at his feet. “Did I do something wrong for you to run out like that?”

“What? No!” Your eyes widened. “It’s definitely not you.” You exhaled deeply and continued, “I’m not the kind of person a guy usually falls for. I’m not like Sara who could change someone. Well, that was what I thought… I ran off because I thought that was all you wanted, and I didn’t need to be there and hear you say it.”

Joe grinned, taking your hands in his. “Didn’t you hear what I said that night that you are all I could think about?”

You shrugged. “Like I said, I’m not like Sara. I run away when it comes to things like this.”

“I don’t love you because I thought you’re like Sara. I’m not Wes.” He laughed softly. “I love you because you’re you.”

“You do?” 

He let out a laugh again, cupping your face with his hands. “Yes. I love how you care a lot about other people, and you always make sure that their happiness comes first. I love how you’re easily frustrated but it also motivates you to keep going until you get it right. I love that you always put your favorite flowers in your flat. I don’t even know how you let those peonies live for so long.”

The both of you laughed together as you shook your head. 

“We’re all flawed, and no one is perfect. You don’t have to wish you were just like Sara because you are already amazing in many ways, and I love you. I have been falling for you so hard. I can’t even fucking explain it. Sometimes it freaks me out.”

“I love you too, Joe.” You smiled. 

You watched as Joe took a step closer to you. You fluttered your eyes close as he kissed you softly and passionately. This time, you let Joe wrap those fears and insecurities that you have been thinking about yourself in the same locked box just like he did that night. This time, you let Joe love you for who you are instead of you wishing that you were just like someone else.

And when Sara falls in love, you were also learning. 

The End.

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name 

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 15 - The secret of Br0cc0liBoi.

Summary: Izuku has a secret tumblr. Quite expected, really. What’s not expected is the fact that Y/N “knows the guy.”

Warnings: Suggestive, Izuku mentions something really cheeky once, swear words and a lot of sexual tension but nothing too cheeky! Pinky promise!

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Everything is almost back to normal, except for the fact that your boyfriend is actually home now instead of being away 90% of the time.

You try not to mention how much you enjoy spending some quality time with him because while it’s indeed amazing to have him around so much, you would never take him away his beloved hero world.

He also looks quite restless, always trying to find something to do instead of resting but otherwise, he’s doing relatively well.

There is one thing that makes you a teeny tiny bit angry sometimes though…

He’s constantly on his phone. He’s scrolling Twitter, Instagram, even fucking Tik Tok for fucks sake. And… wait for it… Tumblr. Motherfucking pro hero Deku is on fucking Tumblr.

But that’s a problem for later. For now…

“Izu-Izu…” you sit into your boyfriend’s lap, begging for some attention.

“Hm? What’s up?” Izuku doesn’t even look up at you to see the pretty pouting face you are making. You are not having this shit. No. Nada.

You yank the phone out of his hands and throw it on the pillow. Izuku looks at you like you just did something suggestive which doesn’t make any sense but at least he’s looking at you now. “Hey, you know you can just tell me to put the phone down, right?” Izuku reprimands, but he can’t hide the tiny mischievous smile on his face. His arms snake around your middle, fingers sneaking under your shirt to stroke your sensitive skin and your whole body shudders. “Cheeky Sweet Pea. The cheekiest.” Izuku suddenly starts kissing your neck, slowly moving down to your collarbone and…

“Okay. I’m sorry. Stop torturing me before I do something extremely stupid.”

Izuku’s whole face reddens at that.

“Now you see why am I on my phone so much.” He admits. “This shirt is killing me. I can almost see through it, you know. You are the one torturing me for 3 days now.” Izuku’s hand crawls up on your side until they reach the underside of your boobs.

Okay. Let’s calm down. Let’s fucking calm down. He just got his cast taken off. You need a wait a few more days before uhm… this can escalate. Take a deep breath. You can do this.

“I’ll … change my … shirt.” You stutter as you try to get off Izuku’s lap but he doesn’t let you move. “Hey! Your arm! You can’t use it this much!” You reprimand but Izuku only giggles.

“My arm is fine. I just don’t want you to run away. I want to show you what I was reading. It was a really sweet fanfiction about me and the reader! This person really managed to get a good grip on my character. It’s quite freaky.”

“Oh? What was it about?” You sit down next to him and cuddle into his side. Izuku puts his arm around your shoulder right away.

“It was about me being an idiot and feeling bad about not being able to be with my girl so I decided to break up with her for her own sake but the girl loved me with all my flaws so it was really stupid of me to do so. We got together on New Years Eve and we promised to meet each other there every year so I went there the next year, hoping she’ll be there and there she was!”

“That’s so sweet, Izu!” You coo, snuggling into him even more. “So in character!”

“Yeah, and it’s not just that. It also states that I say sorry too much which I do and you also tell me off for it.”

“You also didn’t wanna tell me you are in love with me because you thought you are not good enough.” You remind him, just to see him blush again. “At least this Izuku had the balls to try. I had to do everything in this household!”

“Hey! I kissed you first! And second!” Izuku retorts, offended.

“Hey! First time was an accident…”

“Was it though?”

“Was it not?!” You gawk at him. You can’t believe this man.

“Sweets, did I move away?”

“No…. Oh my god! Izuku!” You smack him with the closest pillow, laughing. “You cheeky little fuck! I can’t believe you! Kyouka was right!”

“Well, to my excuse, it did start off as an accident. I just rolled with the punches or to be exact, I couldn’t resist the temptation.”

“I absolutely can’t believe you!” You gawk at him. Honestly, who is this man?! What happened to your sweet Izuku? And why do you like this new side of him?

“Oh, wait until you hear about all the sneaky kisses I left on your cheeks and on your arms while you slept, way before we got together. I felt so bad afterwards but I couldn’t help it. You were so pretty. You wore this shirt to sleep once. That actually killed me. I couldn’t look into your eyes after I left in the morning and went straight to…”

You literally scream in Izuku’s face.

“OH MY GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“… But the last one was after we got together! I swear!” This man will be death of you. It’s official. “Let’s change the topic. I want to show you some nice art I found on Tumblr!”

… that won’t help with you imagining where the rest of his sentence was about to go. Maybe you should take a cold shower. Or drink a lot of water. Or both. Yeah.

Okay, you can do this. It’s quite exciting to see how Izuku’s personal tumblr and Twitter looks like. It feels like he’s letting you in on some cheeky secrets, even though it’s just a stupid social media page.

“I can’t believe we haven’t followed each other anywhere until now.” You mumble your thoughts out loud by accident.

“Well, you sent me all your art stuff anyway and you were always home when I was so there wasn’t really a need for it, I guess.” Izuku mumbles back. “I mean, I don’t post actual pictures, just reblog and retweet stuff. The pictures I sent you from patrol were just for you. But I’m more than happy to show you everything.” Izuku’s smile is dazzling as he bonks his little head into your shoulder like an attention seeking kitty cat. Goddamn, your heart can’t take this.

Okay, listen. Izuku is cute as fuck on a normal day, yeah? Well, today, he decided to kill you with his look.

Do you remember how he just told you off for wearing that thin shirt? Well, Izuku’s wearing that stupid tank top with no sides. And he’s wearing his stupidly adorable glasses you have a massive soft spot for.

Oh, you think this can’t get worse? Oh, it can.

The top half of Izuku’s hair is in a little pony tail. Yes, you heard it right. In a little fucking pony tail. He also got an undercut after the accident which gives him a super edgy, but also cute look and it’s just too much for your heart. Izuku and Deku are two different people. You swear if this guy would walk past you you would think he’s some Kpop idol and not pro Hero Deku, the shy number one hero. He could kick you in the chest and you would say thank you; well, that’s not a big achievement to be honest as you felt the same towards his hero persona as well, but looking like this while on a sick-leave must be illegal. It’s also quite obvious that Izuku didn’t even try to look this hot, he was just… born like this. He woke up and put the first top he found I his dresser then he probably realized that his hair got too long and the fringe was annoying so he stole one of your green hair bands and made a messy ponytail.

Just fuck this man.

(Oh, you wish.)

GODDAMNIT, FOCUS.

You take a quick peek at Izuku’s phone now that you are allowed to. Then you yank the phone out of his hand and stare at the profile in front of you because…

YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT NAME.

“You are absolutely shitting me.” You gawk at your boyfriend.

“Stop hanging out with Kacchan.” Izuku mutters, utterly confused by your sudden mood change.

“How long have you had this account?” You ask in between two deep breaths. This is not happening. This a fucking joke. There is no way…

“Well, this one is relatively new, but I did have another account with a similar name a few years ago but then I lost my phone and couldn’t remember the email I used for it so I couldn’t get it back and… Sweets, why are you not breathing?

“Izuku, weren’t you chatting with someone on that account? The old one?”

This is definitely a joke. The author of this fanfiction is a fucking sadist. There is no other explanation.

“Wait, what?!” He jumps up right away, his face as red as a tomato. “How do you know that?!”

“Why didn’t you find her again?! You knew hair account name!”

“Are you quirked?!” Izuku tries to change the topic but one glare is enough for him to cower like a scared little puppy. “Well, it was harder and harder to keep my identity a secret and it’s not like I could just send her a message saying that oh, anyway, I’m the number one hero I hope that’s okay with you! I also started to have feelings for her but I didn’t even know her full name so I ran away like a fucking idiot because I got scared! She also had the same first name as you by the way! I’m sorry!” Izuku is yelling by the end of the sentence, his face five seconds away from exploding from all the blood that had flown into it.

Instead of replying, you take your own phone into your hands and go on your own personal account then you go back a few years until you find the conversation you’re looking for; a conversation with Broccoli Boy. Yup. You heard it right.

Izuku pales completely from the sight; you can hear his brain processing the information, then… he becomes a complete mess.

“You are joking. There is no fucking way.”

You know shit hit the fan when Izuku starts to swear.

“I waited for you for months! Months, Broccoli Boy! You broke my heart! I was just about to confess to you when you disappeared!”

“We fell in love with each other… twice.” Izuku mumbles, dumbstruck.

“And you ran away from it. Fucking twice, you moron.” You add fondly, sighing into the awkward silence.

Instead of saying anything you scroll up in the conversation and show Izuku some of your favorite ones. He doesn’t say a single word, he just stares at your screen with teary eyes, reminiscing the old memories as all the joy and the pain comes back to him all at once.

4 years ago

Broccoli Boy: Hey! I’ve read your fanfiction and it was the best one I’ve ever read! The whole idea of Deku being All Might’s secret son is amazing! I want that to be true haha! I hope you are having an amazing day! I love how I can take a glimpse into your mind through your stories. I can already tell you are an amazing person. So pure, so kind, so loving.

Ahh, I’m sorry, this must be really creepy coming from a guy, but I’m just so in love your work! I don’t mean any harm, I swear! >.<

Dekusleftsock: Oh my god, hi! Thank you very much for saying that! Not everyone likes that story sadly, so this message made me cry from joy! Thank you very much for being so kind! I actually have a sequel for that which I’ve never posted, wanna read it?

Broccoli Boy: Oh my god, please! You are so sweet! You belong on the top of a cake! Like those marzipan figurines! Because… you are sweet.

Uhm, I’m terrible at this.

Dekusleftsock: I’M LAUGHING SO HARD I CAN’T! 😂 You are so funny, Broccoli Boy!

Broccoli Boy: Just call me Zu! And please don’t laugh at me! I’m terrible at talking to strangers! >.<“

Dekusleftsock: I’m not laughing at you! Okay, I am but… I do it in a really fond way? Like I want you to be a pillow so I can cuddle you until you suffocate?

… Wow, that was just as bad as yours, wasn’t it.

Broccoli Boy: I will gladly choke in your arms if it makes you happy!

Oh, shit.

That sounds extremely wrong.

I’m so sorry.

Dekusleftsock: I’m so glad you can’t hear me screaming right now. You would go deaf. Damn, you made my day, Zu. You are hilarious.

Broccoli Boy: Well, I’ll gladly make your day with my awkwardness tomorrow as well, if you let me!

Dekusleftsock: Damn, that was smooth. I allow it. Good night, Zu! 🥦

~•~

A few weeks later

Dekusleftsock: So… what do you do for a living, Zu?

Broccoli Boy: uhm… I can’t go into details but… I work at a hero agency? I can’t tell you which one or what I do exactly.

Dekusleftsock: Oh my god! That’s so cool! Have you met Deku?!

Broccoli Boy: hahah, yeah, I actually did. He’s… quite clumsy? A bit of a loner, really. He’s nice to everyone but deep inside, he’s quite closed off. I think.

Dekusleftsock: Give me 5 to 7 working days to stop incoherently screaming and I’ll answer properly. You know, fangirl things.

Broccoli boy: Take your time, Pumpkin 💜

Dekusleftsock: Pumpkin?! Okay, I’m officially dead. Is it weird that I’m happier from the nickname than from the secret intel on my favorite hero?

…

Is it weird that I like you more than I like my favorite hero?

Oh my god, I did not just write that down I’m deactivating myself, bye.

Broccoli boy: I…

I like you too. You are the reason I go to bed with a smile on my face every day. I’m forever grateful for your sole existence.

… should I deactivate myself too?

~•~

Dekusleftsock: I had a rough day. Can you hug me?

Broccoli boy: *hugs her and kisses her forehead.*

Dekusleftsock: I really want to feel it.

Broccoli Boy: Me too, pumpkin. 💚

Dekusleftsock: Maybe one day, we will meet each other in real life. By pure accident. I think I’ll know it’s you. I’ll see it in your eyes.

Broccoli Boy: Maybe I’m closer than you think. Please, find me. I’ll cherish you forever if you do.

Dekusleftsock: You promise, Zuzu?

Broccoli boy: Pinky promise.

~•~

Dekusleftsock: Hey, Zu! Are you okay? It has been a few days and we usually chat every night so… please message me that you are okay.

~•~

Dekusleftsock: Zu, I’m starting to worry. Like a lot. Please, tell me you are okay.

~•~

Dekusleftsock: Zuzu, I really miss you. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. Is it something I did? Are you ignoring me because you realized I’m in love with you? I can back off. I can get over it. Please, just talk to me, tell me you are okay. Just tell me you are alive and well and happy.

~•~

Dekusleftsock: Zuzu… a promise is a promise. I’ll find you and smack you in the face. Then I’ll kiss you senseless if you let me. I miss you so much it physically hurts.

~•~

Dekusleftsock: I hope you are at least happy. I hope you are okay. Thank you for everything.

~•~

Needless to say when Izuku gets to the last few messages, he cries.

“I’m so sorry, Pumpkin. I’m so-so sorry.” His head ends up on your chest as he bawls. “I’m sorry I made you cry, I’m so sorry…”

“I don’t mean to be rude but you made cry quite a lot already, so…” The look Izuku gives you makes you feel extremely guilty about teasing him right now; he looks like he’s ready to jump of a cliff from all the guilt, his lips wobbling like a child’s. “You know, it’s normal… to cry sometimes. It’s normal to have a fight. Love isn’t about finding someone who’s always perfect. Love is about finding a person who’s worth those tears. To find someone who you know will do everything to apologize, to make up for the pain they’ve caused. Obviously there is a limit to what’s acceptable and what not, it also depends on the reason of those tears, but you know what I mean… I mean that you are worth it. Zu was worth it. Izu-Izu was worth it. I love you.” You caress Izuku’s cheek.

It’s a lot to take in. It might sound silly for normal people that you fell in love with someone you haven’t even met in real life nor had known their real name but Zu… Zu was special. He was so kind, so lovely, so true to himself every day and so caring when you felt down, it was impossible not love him more than what’s acceptable for a guy you’ve been chatting on the internet. He’s been with you every night, he’s been the first person you’ve though about when something good or bad happened, you told him everything about yourself and he always listened to you, asked questions, made you feel like the whole world revolves around you. Now that you think back, you can clearly see the resemblance between the two.

“I love you too, Sweet Pea. Pumpkin. Both of you. So much.” Izuku kisses you deeply, his fingers deep in your hair as he pulls you even closer. You make a small whimper, ready to jump onto his lap and show him how much you actually love him when the bell suddenly rings.

“Why. Just why.” Izuku giggles into your mouth as he slowly gets up to open the door. He looks at the little camera by the door and freezes, then starts jumping around like a little kid with his finger constantly on the buzzer even though the person has already left the entrance and is probably on the way up here. You run into your room to find a more appropriate shirt and by the time you get back there is a messy, brown haired man by the door wearing a shit eating grin as he takes a good look at Izuku from head to toe. A pink, cute bird jumps out of his jacket and starts flying around Deku with worry in her cute little eyes, crying out loudly when she sees a new scar on Izuku’s skin. She looks like she’s about to have a mental breakdown.

Oh.

The bird… she must be Pino. Then the guy is…

“Rody?!”

…. Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Oh my, what the hell, right?! I don’t even know what to add to this one, it’s a handful already 😂

- Please, be aware of all the weirdos on the internet and do not trust anyone until you are 100% sure they are safe. Never meet a stranger at home. Never meet a stranger right away. This is a fanfiction, real life is different than the one in this story. Be safe.

- The fanfic Izuku’s talking about is my New Years Dsku special which you can read here! Sorry for the self-promotion 😂

- Sorry for all the suggestive stuff! I tried to keep it PG but then Izuku said what he said and… yeah. They really need to get their things sorted as soon as possible because writing with them is literally painful. Like, the amount of thoughts I’m not writing down to keep this at least 16+… 😂

- Reader’s tumblr name and Izuku’s tumblr picture is by @porusuniverse! Thank you 💜💜💜💜💜

- Btw, I actually made Izuku’s tumblr account so feel free to follow him! You can also ask him questions! 😂😂 @br0cc0liboiii

- I’m so excited to have Rody in the next chapter! I love that guy and I want him to be canon!!!

- Tell me your thoughts now that we are back on the fluff train! Are we happy? Are we? What do we wanna see? Tell me!

TL:

@garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @katsuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai @happydragonfrog @eeerreehhh @vinivave

[kittyball23]

A Broppy Wedding (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: Two movies, two specials, and two shows later, the time has come for two Trolls to come together in the way that only true love can make happen 💙

A/N: What better way to celebrate Broppy Day than to write out the Broppy wedding!💕 I've been wanting to write this for a little while now, but finally made myself go through with it after it was requested by adapotatathegoat_27 on Wattpad. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!😄

__________________________________________

“Is this really necessary?”

Branch’s question was answered with a hearty laugh from his brother John Dory. “Oh, Branch, of course it is! How else are you gonna look fly for your wedding, hmm?”

“It’s not ‘looking fly’ that’s bothering me,” Branch replied. “It’s the fact that I can get dressed on my own!” Branch groaned as John Dory completely disregarded his words and kept tugging the blue Troll’s pants up from behind him, trying to get the rims fully over his hips. And, given that John Dory was their band’s ‘leader’ (a title that had been self-appointed by JD himself), their other brothers had taken his cue and were doing their part in assisting their youngest bro to get ready. Spruce was touching up a very nice-looking, iridescent vest for him, double and triple-checking to make sure that there were no nicks or flaws with it at all. Clay was shaking up some cans of hairspray, his eyes set on Branch’s crop of rich blue hair. Floyd was sifting around some cabinets, seeming to be looking for something in particular, though none of the other brothers knew what exactly.

Branch appreciated the help, but he had to roll his eyes a little bit at it too. “Guys, you do know that just because I was called ‘Baby Branch’ doesn’t actually mean that I still am a baby.”

“In our eyes you will be!” John Dory chirped in reply, finally getting Branch’s pants in place. He stepped back a sec, eyeing his work, and then wolf-whistled. “Hoo-boy! The rump’s looking on point, bro!” Suddenly, before he could help himself (and before Branch could utter a “Don’t you even think about it!”) John Dory had stooped down and given him a firm, playful smack on the rear.

“OW!” the blue Troll cried, rubbing the affected area with his hands and shooting his giggling oldest brother an annoyed glance. “I hate it when you do that…”

“Well, whether you hate it or not, JD’s got a point,” Spruce chimed in with a sly look on his face. “Nothing to be ashamed of if your girl’s gonna like it.”

“WHOA, now, easy going down that train of thought!” Branch exclaimed, blushing heavily.

“Pfft,” his purple-haired brother scoffed. “You know I’m right, dude.”

“Yeah, Branch!” Clay piped up. “And once she sees your abs, she’s totally gonna faint!”

“I don’t have abs,” Branch said,confused, and then narrowing his eyes at the lime-green Troll.

“Sure you do,” Clay protested, pointing at his chest. “Right there! Look! It’s a little bit, but they’re still there.”

Branch still felt a blush burning in his cheeks. Would Poppy appreciate it if he really did have them? The tantalizing thought of having her run her fingers down his chest, outlining the possible muscles that were there made him dare to take a peek and see if Clay was right. But before his eyes could even process anything upon looking down, Clay’s hand shot out and chucked him under the chin.

“Oh! Made ya look!”

As Branch heard his lime-green-haired brother laughing, he felt silly for falling for the oldest trick in the prankster’s book. But Branch couldn’t be sour - this was the happiest day of his life, and so he laughed along with Clay… at least, until the Troll began to crazily spray his hairspray bottles at Branch’s head.

“Easy, bro, what the heck!” Branch sputtered between coughs. “What’s the deal?”

“Gotta look spiffy!” Clay reasoned. He went to spray again, but Branch shoved his hands away.

“Whoa, whoa, uh-uh. Too much, dude. Just because you spray yours a lot doesn’t mean I want mine the same way.”

“I don’t spray mine a lot,” Clay said, but instantly proved himself wrong when he took the sprays and spritzed them into his wild hair instead.

Spruce waved his hand and was coughing. “Dude, Branch is right - spray overload! Why so extra?” But then he paused and realized. “Ohhhh, wait a minute, I see what this is about.” He grinned at Clay, who was suddenly starting to look nervous. “You’re trying to impress your girl! Viva, am I right?”

“What?” Clay said, playing dumb. “Naw, you’re wrong. I’m, uh… I’m just trying to look good for the wedding, obviously.”

“Mmm-hmm. All I can say is, you better get ready to pucker too, sucker,” Spruce riffed, cracking up at Clay’s paled reaction to that.

“All right, all right, but enough about you,” Spruce said when he’d calmed down (which was more than could be said about the nearly-fainted Clay). “This is about Branch, remember? Now, let’s get him all set up!” He carefully grabbed the vest for Branch and began to bring it over to his little brother, but had to stop in his tracks when he found that his other little brother had beat him.

Floyd, who was as quiet as he was emo, must have slipped in while Spruce was embarrassing Clay. He stood before Branch, holding his blue brother’s jaw in place and coming at him with something in his other hand.

“What the - ? Floyd, what are you doing?” Spruce asked, very confused.

“Oh, just a little touch-up for his face,” the magenta-haired Troll assured, then got back to work.

But that wasn’t so easy with Branch backing away and looking suspicious. “Um, what exactly are you doing?” Then his gaze focused in on the object that Floyd was holding and he recoiled. “Is that lipstick??”

“Don’t be silly, Branch,” Floyd said. “It’s glitter. Cherry-flavored!”

Floyd came at him again, but Branch backed himself away even more.

“No… sorry, Floyd. I’m not putting that on.”

“Oh! Well, if you don’t like cherry, I’ve got other flavors too. Blueberry, grape, strawberry, pineapple - “ Floyd rambled, until he was stopped by Spruce.

“What I think Branch means is that he doesn’t need any enhancers, if you catch my drift,” the purple-haired Troll said, nudging Floyd.

John Dory nodded to that. “I know that’s right. His girl went to town with him the day he proposed, no balm required!” JD shouted, making Branch dazed at the memory of how he and Poppy had kissed… and kissed and kissed and kissed after she’d agreed to become his wife!

Floyd looked pensive, but then he nodded. "Well, alright. You're looking great so far, Branch." Then, he leaned over and gave his little brother a quick hug. And Branch, having not been one to ever turn down a hug from the magenta-haired Troll, hugged back.

"Aw, how cute," Clay teased, but soon found himself being hauled over to the pair by JD, with Spruce being tugged on the teal Troll's other arm. Suddenly, all five Trolls found themselves enveloped in a great big group hug.

“Whoa, whoa,” Branch said, as he found himself being squeezed on all sides with no escape. ��It’s not Hug Time!” To showcase, he lifted up his left arm with the silent Hug-Time watch.

“Yeah, but we just thought you could use one,” John Dory replied with a grin. The hug continued for another second, and then the boys released each other, getting back to the prep right away.

Spruce was able to grab Branch’s vest again and came around to start putting it on him, slipping his brother’s arms through the holes while Branch just let him (seeing that it was no use continuing to put up the argument that he could dress himself).

“All right!” the purple-haired Troll said when he was finished adjusting it. “Now, go on.”

Branch was confused. "What?"

“You know," Clay said, helping out. “Flex your drip!" He tried emphasizing by making a record scratch noise.

Branch wanted to shake his head. They wanted him to model the vest? He shrugged. Whatever. He made a simple turn so he could see all sides of it, but the purple-haired Troll wasn’t satisfied.

“Come on, Bitty B, you can do better than that!”

Branch grumbled a little, but then got an idea. Feeling a little playful, he made a dramatic turn, flashed a charming smile, and opened up the vest a little to show off his chest (a chest that, as Branch was able to sneak a peek and notice, did in fact have a slight hint of abs!). It was a move that Spruce had done in his youth as a teen, and he of course instantly recognized it and beamed.

“Now we’re talking!” he cried, and high-fived Branch.

JD, however, was looking a little skeptical. He cocked his head to the side, and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm… maybe we should’ve gone with the glitter diaper instead…” he said to the others.

Branch’s eyes grew huge at that. “You had a glitter diaper designed?!” he exclaimed. Then he shook his head adamantly. “Aw, no. No, no, no, no, NO. N-O. Absolutely not, you are NOT making me go out there wearing that!” He had already suffered an embarrassing performance wearing a diaper that was far too small for him when they were singing to try and save Floyd. He would NOT undergo that again!

John Dory laughed, along with the rest of the brothers.

“Bro, we’re playing with you,” Clay said, still giggling, “you’re not gonna do that, come on!”

Branch let out a sigh of relief. “Oh… thank goodness!”

__________________________________________

Meanwhile, it was not that much of a different story happening in the bride’s room.

Poppy had been singing to herself all morning, her mind in bliss, and her body buzzing with joy. Not too long ago, she’d been a mere bridesmaid - but now, she was the bride herself!

And as a bride, there was plenty to do to get herself prepared to look her most magnificent. Luckily, Poppy was in good hands. She had lots of great help in the form of her friends. Satin and Chenille, of course, had been the ones to create her dress as they had for every wedding that occurred in Pop Village. Poppy didn’t know how they managed to do it - each dress was always so unique, it impressed her! The Pop Queen’s variation consisted of a beautiful creamy color, laced and frilled at just the right places, with an elegant silky train that ran far behind her.  

In putting it on, she found that it suited her perfectly, and Poppy had to stop herself from jumping around in happiness so that she wouldn't wrinkle it up. In the present moment, the fashionista twins were helping her apply a few light touches of glittery makeup on her face. Smidge and Legsly were grabbing the jewelry, and at Poppy's hair was her sister Viva, poufing it up and adding colorful extensions.

"EEEEE!" she squealed at the girls. "Poppy is gonna look soooooo FANTAST-AMAZING!!"

"Tell me about it," Satin said, leaning back to check on the eyeshadow application. "Branch is gonna - "

"DIE!" her sister Chenille finished.

Satin looked at her, shocked. "I was gonna say faint, but geez!"

Poppy blushed. "Oh, I mean, I don't know... you really think he'll like it that much? I'm just me..." She shrugged, her cheeks red.

"Uhhh, YEAH we're sure! He'll be over the moon! No - scratch that - he'll be over the galaxy!" Viva exclaimed. "And if you don't believe us, take a look for yourself!" She ushered Poppy over to a standing mirror, and the Pop Queen had to gasp. She really did look stunning, with her deep fuchsia hair piled upon her head in a ponytailed bun of sorts, and the jaw-dropping gown, and her face dolled with just enough makeup to not be over the top but to be soft and appealing. It was a work of art in itself. She glanced over at the girls. How did they do it?

Viva put her hands over her heart. "Oh, Poppy, you're so lucky to have someone who loves you so, SO much!"

Poppy giggled. "Thanks," she said, then looked at her sister slyly, "but don't sell yourself short, either."

Viva paused. "Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me, you know what I'm talking about," the Pop Queen said, smirking now. "And he just so happens to be my fiance's brother."

"Wh-what? No, uh, Clay? He, um... he's..." Viva stammered, but eventually just gave up, her cheeks growing warm. "He kinda does like me, huh?" she asked, twirling a strand of her golden hair between her fingers.

"Oh, come on, anybody with two eyes can see that," Smidge replied, her voice gruff but a little smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She and Leglsy came over to Poppy and began to put on a couple of adornments on her - including a necklace, some bracelets, and pearl earrings - to finalize the look.

"Aww, Poppy, I think I'm gonna cry!" Legsly said, wiping away a tear.

"Already?" Poppy asked in awe.

"Already," the familiar voice of her friend Bridget answered. The Bergen was just outside the dressing room, due to it being too small for her to fit inside, but she was still able to get a clear view of the bride in all her elegance. "Don't you remember how many times I cried even before my wedding with Grizzy started?" She laughed, and so did the other girls.

"I guess you were a little bit of a mess," Poppy admitted.

"A little? Tell the truth, girl, I was a LOT of a mess," Bridget giggled, "but, I managed to pull through it. And so will you, Poppy." She leaned down and presented her finger, which Poppy came over and high-fived.

The Pop Queen took one last look at herself in the mirror, and let out a breath she’d been holding. This was it. She clutched onto a bouquet of her favorite pink flowers and nodded her head once, resolutely.

"All right," she said, smiling widely. "Let's get this wedding started!"

__________________________________________

It was a dream come true.

Poppy felt like she was floating on air, as though she was having an out-of-body experience. This felt so unreal. But it was real. The fantasy in her mind of what her wedding day would be like had continued to change throughout the years. At first, she’d envisioned just her friends of the Snack Pack being there - Guy Diamond, Smidge, Satin, Chenille, Legally, Biggie, and Cooper. Then she’d envisioned Bridget, Gristle, and the Bergen Town residents also being there. Then the Trolls of the Troll Kingdom. And now, the actual day of it, all of them were there plus her sister and BroZone! Poppy didn’t know how she hadn’t fainted already from the shock of it all!

Branch, awaiting patiently at the altar, had to stop himself from rocking back and forth on his heels. He was incredibly nervous. He felt like he was going to barf. And pass out. And pee his pants all at once. But one quick peek over at Floyd, and he remembered his brother’s words, right before they’d exited the dressing room. They were simple, and straight to the point.

Don’t worry about it. You’re gonna do great. Everybody who came here is only here to support you guys. This is the happiest day of your life. Don’t stress it, and don’t overthink it, okay?

Branch took a deep breath and released it. Okay, he answered in his head.

Finally, the moment had come.

Bells chimed in a melodic fashion, and all the hushed, excited whispering that had arisen in the awaiting audience of Trolls and Bergens went quiet, replaced by silent, beaming smiles.

Tiny Diamond, appropriately re-titled as the Flower Man, once again made his round down the aisle, flinging the petals and pretending that he was on a catwalk with the way he paused to pose a couple of times.

And then came Poppy, arm in arm with her father, Peppy.

Branch’s heartbeat quickened, the palpitation in his chest so intense he swore he could feel it reverberating throughout his entire body. It felt like the moment was lasting forever, with the way that time was crawling to an incredibly slow pace as she was guided down the aisle, sweetly strutting. It gave Branch enough time to remember everything that had happened between them, both good and bad. When they first met. When he’d rejected her invitations and she’d try to become his friend. When they’d gone on their journey to Bergen Town, and had their first real hug. When he’d apologized to her for her for his past behaviors in his gray years. When they’d sang and danced together everyday in Pop Village. When they’d gone on their journey across the Troll Kingdoms during Barb’s World Tour. When they’d argued, and then made up. When he’d confessed his love to her, and she’d confessed right back. When they’d gotten ready for Bridget and Gristle’s wedding. When they’d gone on their wild journey to save Floyd and retrieve the brothers. When he’d proposed to her, and she’d accepted…

Before Branch knew it, Poppy was right in front of him. She hugged her father, who looked between her and Branch with nothing but pride. Peppy then went off to seat himself among the other guests. Unbeknownst to Branch, the same memories were flitting through Poppy's mind, and she could barely contain herself with the smile that spread across her face. It was an infectious one, and he had to smile back at her, his nerves going away.

His gaze was so fixed on the beautiful Pop Queen that he hardly realized that there was anybody else up there at the altar, until he heard a throat clearing. He turned to look, and was surprised to find that Cloud Guy was the officiate!

“You!” Branch exclaimed. “I thought Mr. Dinkles was going to wed us!”

“The little guy’s license expired,” the cloud explained. “But mine’s still good to go!” Cloud Guy flashed the card at him, and Branch rolled his eyes. Well, I guess as long as he can make Poppy my wife, he supposed.

Without further ado, Poppy and Branch faced each other, cheeks warm and eyes bright.

“Friends, from all over the Troll Kingdoms and even beyond it, I think we all know why we’re gathered here today…” Cloud Guy said out loud, “but in case you don’t, we are here to celebrate in a lovely matrimonial event the marriage of my two bestest buds in the whole world. This awesome-sauce girl, Queen Poppy” - he paused, making finger-guns at her and allowing the folks in the audience to cheer - “and this guy, Dumpy Diapers!”

Branch heard a few snickers, and he frowned a little, glaring at Cloud Guy. The cloud stifled a chuckle, but quickly made to correct himself.

“Hehehe, just kidding - this here’s my friend, Branch!” he announced, and then the crowd cheered. “Seriously though,” Cloud Guy said in a whisper, “I think you woulda killed it in the glitter diaper.”

“No way!” Branch grumbled, but then had to chuckle a little bit at the thought of anybody getting married in a diaper.

Noting his good mood, Cloud Guy continued, turning to Poppy first. “Sooo… Do you, Queen Poppy, take Branch to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Cloud Guy recited the words quite skillfully at her, surprising Branch. Perhaps Cloud Guy wasn’t such a bad choice as officiate.

Poppy, however, wasn’t as surprised. She had already had full confidence that their friend would be able to help them on their big day. And now that she was asked the question, her breath hitched. Did she want to take Branch as her husband? How was that even a question when she knew in her head that there was only one possible answer that it could be, an answer that she wanted to SCREAM out over and over until she was out of breath and her throat was hoarse, because that’s just how excited she was!

Somehow, she reeled herself in, took a deep breath, and managed to speak calmly.

“I do.”

She smiled, her eyes hooding as the effects of love began to overtake her for the Troll she’d just accepted to be hers.

Branch swallowed when Cloud Guy turned to him with a gleam in his eye. “And do you, Branch, take Poppy to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

The question repeated in Branch’s head, the details playing like a movie reel of what this meant and what was to come.

Do you, Branch, take Poppy to be your lawfully wedded wife…

He imagined waking up everyday seeing her gorgeous face, being by her side, telling her how much he loved her, and she telling him how much she loved him…

… to have and to hold…

He imagined having her in his arms, hugging her, kissing her, taking her to heights she didn’t know existed, and him neither for that matter…

… in sickness and in health…

He would be there for her in her lowest points, supporting her, making sure that she had everything she needed and that she was satisfied…

… until death do you part?

The effects of time would come onto them eventually with their aging, but it would never extinguish the love that burned inside of him for her.

“I do.”

Branch smiled at her, and he could tell that there was no longer any trace of that “it would be WEIRD if we got married” feeling left inside of her.

Cloud Guy nodded his head and proceeded. “Well then, by the power that’s invested in me, I now pronounce you to be…”

Everybody leaned forward in their seats, eager, anticipatory, nearly shaking from excitement as they waited for the next words that would come out of the cloud's mouth.

"... HUSBAND AND WIFE!!!"

Poppy felt fireworks explode within her. Branch felt like he could fly. The audience began to clap vigorously in unison. Cloud Guy had barely started to say "You may kiss the bride" (only managing to get "You may k - " out) before Poppy had already leapt at Branch and had her lips locked firmly on his, hands gripping him possessively around the back of his neck. Branch kissed her back, not wasting a second to deepen the connection and pull her impossibly close against him. His arm wrapped around her waist, the other around her back, the two of them smiling and swooning into each other, lost to the world and lost only in each other (they were married for crying out loud!).

Though, the world was still very much around them. And it had been thrown into a frenzy of celebration!

The Snack Pack, the Bergens, Viva, Peppy, Branch's brothers, and all of the guests who'd come from all over the Troll kingdoms brought the noise on with a symphony of claps and whistles and cheers.

"My sister's MARRIED!!!" Viva screamed, bouncing around all over the place.

"My daughter's married!" Peppy shouted next to her, bopping in a celebratory jig.

"Man, Bitty B's all grown up!" John Dory exclaimed with a huge grin. "WOOO!"

"He's a married man now," Spruce cried out, incredibly proud of his brother.

"Congratulations, BRO!" Clay yelled out to Branch, pumping his fists into the air.

Floyd was also incredibly pleased with the turnout, but was expressing it in an entirely different way from his brothers. "I'm SO happy for him," he whimpered, teary-eyed. "I'm just so, so, SO happy!" He broke off, sobbing in an uncontrolled manner. The magenta-haired Troll couldn't help himself. The way he remembered Branch, he was that same little Trolling who had confided in Floyd for reassurance and guidance upon performing, and in other matters when they were young. The same little Trolling who had an endearing baby voice to match his cute face, and sang so adoringly onstage in his diaper and white shades. Branch was no longer little - he had an adult voice, an adult maturity, and was able to do adult things like, as had happened now, get married! It was no wonder the tears had started for Floyd and refused to stop.

Just like Poppy and Branch, who, in a replica of what had happened when he proposed, couldn't stop  with the smooches. Definitely not, not with what had just happened. Not with knowing that they were husband and wife, best friends, and lovers, all rolled into one.

And that they would be together, with their family and friends, forever!

__________________________________________

A/N: I know Branch would also be going through coronation, but I wanted to focus more on the wedding aspect of it. Once again, Happy Broppy Day everyone! 😘

[blueaetherr]

thank you for letting me know can you do the gender neutral one with trent then thank you! <3

to love and to be loved

pairing: trent alexander arnold x gn!reader [they/them]

warning(s): slight angst

summary: the one where they want to be loved (by trent) and he wants to love (the reader)

author's note: hi anon, sorry this took so long (again). currently working through writer's block so hopefully i might be able to write more in the coming days.

now playing: this is what falling in love feels like by jvke

After hours, Y/N and Trent were sitting together in his back garden. And on this particular night the two decided that there was some silence to share and so they peacefully indulged in it together; appreciating the sounds of nature at night for the first time in forever, taking notice of one's breathing to keep it at bay, and unknowingly, enjoying the time the two were able to spend together, no rush or anything to it.

The thing is, there was purpose behind their silence, the pair's lack of talk and simple discussion. There was nothing to speak about, nothing to bring up to conversation. Or, at least, that was what Y/N wanted and Trent couldn't help but accept their wants. Following a break up not too long ago, there wasn't much for Y/N to talk about with Trent, silence itself was enough noise and chaos for Y/N's mind to handle.

Soon after some time, Trent let the silence subside. He turned to his friend, offering a sincere look. "I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and your ex."

Y/N took in a long breath, leaning further back in their place. "Eh, it's all cool. We ended on good terms so I can't really complain," they leaned over and patted Trent's leg, "I gotta move on, right?"

When it came to Y/N and their previous relationships—from the first partner to the last—they really couldn't complain. Never were their partners malicious or mean and simply unkind; honestly, all of their exes had been great partners and Y/N never had real problems with them. All the break-ups, unfortunately, only happened as a result of innocent fallouts like logistics issues or differences in wants in life.

Their facial expression dulled, their lips forming a straight line as they looked towards the sky. "Though I do wish it could've worked itself out, you know?" Their problems never lied with their ex-partners but rather with the relationships themselves. Y/N has been in a few relationships—not too many yet also just enough but it always felt like something was lacking in all of them.

Finally, they set their eyes on Trent. "Do you think we were good together," they asked, referring to themself and their ex, "or was I at least good with any of my exes?" They didn't want to seem insecure or full of doubt, but Y/N wanted some outer perspective on their previous relationships.

"Um," Trent scratched the nape of his neck. He let out a small huff, tilting his head in simple thought. "I think... I think there's always hope for everything. There always was hope for all your relationships, every single one... so I don't think I can say no."

Being there from the beginning, Trent got to witness his best friend in all of their relationships. He watched Y/N's relationships form and unravel, watched them shift from immature to sensible, judged all their partners for their content and personality and... he never found anything flawed to say about anything or anyone.

That was the problem with all of Y/N's relationships; they all always seemed so perfect, too perfect to even criticise. Their ex-partners were perfect, judging by their appearances, intentions and personalities. Y/N's relationships held some flaws here and there, but they weren't enough to ruin something great for a couple. In his eyes, Y/N was too perfect in every aspect and that fact alone let Trent believe that there had been hope for Y/N to settle in whatever relationship they found themself in.

Y/N hummed, running their hand through the grass. "I find that hard to believe when I can never seem to stay in a relationship."

In their eyes, their partners were always perfect but perhaps the relationships weren't. The start and end of their relationships remained the best stages; there was that deep understanding and wanting the best for each other. The middle was the stage of every relationship for Y/N where things would happen quicker than they could realise, leaving the lines and everything else to become far too murky to the point where it was quite hopeless to maintain what barely remained of a relationship.

And seeing their ex-partners over the years moving onto different relationships, some in the early stages of marriage and others starting families– and because everyone viewed all their ex-partners as the perfect partners– even though no one said it, Y/N did feel like all their relationships failing, one after the other, was entirely their fault, that they were the burden every time they chose to be with someone.

"Everyone for me kinda just comes and goes, and I'm used to it at this point... but a bit of lovin' never hurt anyone," Y/N said, a sad smile appearing on their face. 'Cause that's all they could do—smile in hopes of retrieving some happiness in all the internal sadness they were experiencing. "Just seems like something really nice to have."

Witnessing all of their previous relationships fade away really did raise some questions for Y/N: were they really unlovable? If so, what was it about them that was apparently so unadorable and unpleasant to be shared and admired by someone else? What was it that deemed them only worthy of temporary love, that till death do us part kinda love was out of their reach?

It was unfair, and Y/N found it unfair. That they wanted something so small and inexpensive, something everyone around them had rightful access to but them. The thought itself felt like heartbreak.

Oh to be loved must be amazing.

"It doesn't hurt anyone, no. But," Trent offered his hand to Y/N, knowing his friend needed some comfort which he could present through trustful physical touch. In time, Y/N looped their fingers with his own. Trent patted the pair's intertwined hands with his free hand. "You'll get there in time, Y/N. I guess it just takes some time to find someone. You gotta be patient with this one."

Y/N thought for a moment before nodding, voicing a small okay. Trent didn't speak many words yet they were meaningful and kinda heartfelt; there was ease and trust in his words and voice, and that was enough for Y/N to listen to him and maybe indulge in his advice. "If that's the case," they sighed, "you have anyone in mind for me?"

Despite in fact having someone in mind for his best friend, despite the ease he had when thinking about the answer (he didn't have to think), Trent remained hesitant when it came to answering their question. Just let it be me— "Yeah, but I'm not telling you," he said, shrugging and laughing a bit. There was slight confidence despite his shyness towards the approaching conversation.

"You're not telling me?" Y/N's face fell further, encouraging Trent's laughter.

"I don't think you realise this is you basically trying to force fate."

"Okay, okay, I forgot: I'll get there in time," Y/N chuckled as they laid back on the grass, probably one of their first moments of euphoria that night. And Y/N accepted it; it was a start for tomorrow and the later days that would follow. "But c'mon. At least tell me what this person's like. Maybe I can guess. I gotta know something."

And so Trent went to describe this person he had in mind for Y/N— himself. He made sure he was vague yet precise with his descriptions, talking about himself in a way that others would describe him as such too but also speaking loosely so that any other guy could fit the descriptions too. There he was, putting himself forward without exposing himself, without putting pressure on a friend who had just left a relationship.

Trent was someone who was caring and sensitive and accommodating to others, especially others like Y/N. He had always seen them receive and receive from previous partners, but never did Trent think it was enough for their value. He thought they deserved so much more than temporary love, deserved more than feeling unwanted after every relationship ended; they were undervalued even if it was unintentional.

That observation came with the thriving feeling that Trent could, potentially, be the better partner to Y/N over the others. He didn't know it, or he wasn't ready to openly admit it, but Trent wanted to be the one to love Y/N (if they would accept it).

And as he spoke, their face was full of smiles and laughter and real positivity, their enjoyment stretching beyond the conversation itself. Even though he was describing someone for their benefit, even though they were the one who requested Trent to talk in detail about their dream person or soulmate, Y/N wasn't really listening to whatever he was saying. Honestly, they were thinking about Trent.

Y/N had been in a few relationships—not too many yet not too few—and through all of them, Trent always remained. Whenever they entered a relationship, Trent was there to encourage and hype them up; whenever they left a relationship, Trent was there to comfort and assure them that there would always be someone else out there as long as they kept the hope alive.

He was their first call after every breakup, the pair's time together was almost synced. Their parents loved all of Y/N's previous partners but evidently, their parents loved Trent a bit more in a more personal way. Everything he did for them (willingly and unwillingly) were simply acts of love and they wanted all of that for themself: to be adored and admired and loved and beyond by Trent.

Sitting under the night sky with silence now discarded, Trent and Y/N continued to share hushed discussions with timid laughter to ease away the misery of a breakup. And even though no one brought them to conversation, it remained a wonder and a wish if one could love or be loved by the person beside them in future days.

part 2

[blandtako]

Why did it have to be a Daffodil? | Sung Hanbin x GN!Reader | Chapter 1

➤ Summary: After having become close friends during their first year of Highschool, Hanbin and Y/N have become inseparable. Highschool, college, adulthood, nothing would change the fact that they'd always be there for one another, no matter how much it hurt. ➤ Pairing: Sung Hanbin x GN!Reader ➤ Genre: fluff, angst, highschool au, college au, unrequited love, slight smut (In certain chapters, there will be warnings). ➤ Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, allusions to anxiety and/or depression, suggestive, Hanbin is bisexual. The ff was written with the perception of a Male!Reader in mind, but I will be using gender neutral pronouns. More specific warnings will be added depending on the chapter. ➤ Status: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 (Working) | upcoming ➤ Word Count: 6,6K ➤ A/N: Finally finished working on Chapter 1! This is mainly an introductory Chapter in which we get to know Y/N and get to see a few of the characters within this story! Keep in mind that at least in the first few chapters (Probably around Chapter 4-5) the characters are attending highschool, and most romantic moments will happen after that. I hope you enjoy! This is my first ff, so I'm gonna try my best, even though I've found writing dialogues a HUGE hassle lmao. If you have any suggestion or constructive criticism, please go ahead and share it! Any help will be appreciated <3

Y/N’s train of thoughts could be quite dispersive at times. From imagining themselves in made-up scenarios to worrying about how to optimize their time spent on video games, there was one thing in particular that they often thought about. How would their life be as a TV series? What events would be shown, and what wouldn’t be considered interesting enough to be put on screen? Their responses to themselves would change from time to time, but the one thing that wouldn’t change was the fact that even within their own life, Y/N would be a supporting character at best. Nothing particularly exciting had ever happened to them. They had a loving family, and while there could be a few small fights, it was nothing more than an argument any kind of family would have. To be fair, Y/N had never been a rebel, and while they did have their share of flaws (such as an intense need to procrastinate that led to their votes not always being the best), they weren’t the type to cause much of a ruckus. Middle school wasn’t exactly the greatest, but Y/N had soon realized that most kids used to be menaces to society around that age and thus acknowledged that there were many who had been subjected to the same type of treatment. That isn’t to say that Y/N’s self-esteem had managed to come out of it unscathed though, and their trust within humanity as a whole had descended quite a bit (although that might have just been their edgy years talking). But bullying was something many people experienced, and some cases had it much, MUCH worse than Y/N ever had, so to them it just felt a bit egotistical to complain. Besides, while there weren’t a lot, Y/N did have friends who cared for them and who they cared for. Y/N would exaggerate when it came to having to define how tough their life was, but truthfully they knew that they didn’t really have it that rough, and deep down they’d be thankful for that.  What type of TV series could ever be made about such a monotonous life? As the sunlight streamed in through the cracks in the blinds of Y/N’s bedroom window, drawing colorful patterns on the sheets and part of the wooden floor, a subdued growl vibrated throughout the entire room. A muffled groan complained in return, as Y/N was practically begging to be left alone to sleep just for a bit longer, but not even a second after the sound had made it out of their mouth, a high, loud bark responded to them right away from the end of the bed. “FINE, I GET IT!” Y/N yelled out in frustration as D/N (dog’s name) got closer to them, wagging its tail as it raised a paw in Y/N’s direction, trying to obtain their attention, to which Y/N faked crying. “See? D/N doesn’t want you to be late for your first day of high school either.” S/N (Sister’s name)’s voice came out from behind the door as she slowly creaked it open. “Mom already took D/N out for a walk before heading to work, but it hasn’t had something to eat yet. Refill its bowl when you go downstairs.” Y/N simply hummed in response, raising their torso and stretching their arms before getting off of bed to aid D/N in doing the same. Approaching the bedroom’s window, the first thing Y/N did after having woken up was open it to let fresh air inside. As they opened the blinds, Y/N’s eyes were forced shut by the brightness of the sun that now flowed into the room, filling every dark space with a cool, yet peaceful breath of air.

Blinking in rapid succession, Y/N rubbed their eyes with their right arm to adjust his sight to the rays of light they were met with. Y/N was surprised by how cold the weather had gotten, especially considering how warm the climate was just a couple of days prior. It felt like the world had simply decided to skip over Autumn, going directly to Winter. Not that Y/N could blame it, to be honest; their opinion on Autumn was perhaps controversial, but they could not stand it whatsoever. Y/N liked the colors and products associated with it, and they were a huge fan of Halloween marathons on TV. What they did not like was the abundance of bugs that would reappear throughout this season. In particular, they’d consider bed bugs the bane of their existence. Making their way downstairs, Y/N found their sister already nicely dressed and ready to leave the house. She smiled back at them, a comforting look in her eyes. “Are you ready for your first day?” She asked. “As ready as one can be when they’d rather just keep sleeping through the day…” Y/N responded sarcastically, despite appreciating their sister’s concern. She chuckled, adding a small “You’ll do just fine.” before hugging them and walking out the door. “Thanks…see you at dinner.” While Y/N and their sister never really had a bad relationship, it was only now that the two had actually started spending more time together. They had a 4 year difference, and S/N was always considered pretty mature for her age, while Y/N could be a bit dense at times. Y/N cherished her a lot, even though they couldn’t help but be jealous of how she seemingly went about her life so…effortlessly? It felt like she would be able to tackle anything put in her path, unfazed by the level of difficulty presented to her. She was also very beautiful; Y/N would often joke to her about how it wasn’t fair that their parents had tried harder when it came to conceiving her as opposed to them.

After having been woken up by D/N’s excitement, Y/N realized that it was quite early. They refilled their dog’s bowl with food and water and then slowly went to take a warm shower, after which they brushed their teeth. Y/N was surprised as to how calm they were at the moment. They felt like maybe they hadn’t fully grasped what was about to happen quite yet. High school could be quite dire for teenagers, and being someone who greatly despised attention on themselves, Y/N’s plan was to live out their school life as smoothly and quietly as possible; avoid any embarrassing situation; avoid people who looked like they could bring trouble; and attempt to be as pleasant as possible but not to the point where others would actively be seeking out for them.Unfortunately, plans didn’t always unravel the way one wanted them to, and Y/N would have soon had to reconsider most, if not all, of their ways.  Petting their dog’s head one last time, Y/N picked up their gray backpack and walked out the front door, locking it as they did so. The autumn breeze hit Y/N’s skin, coldly reminding them that summer was now gone, alongside their hobby of doing nothing throughout the entire day as there was no need to. The leaves of trees blushed hearth hues above, contrasting the sapphire color that tinted the sky. Y/N sighed as they mentally prepared themselves for the bus ride that was waiting for them. Despite having showered, they could feel their eyes doze off, struggling to remain open as Y/N was now used to getting much more sleep than what they got this night. It had been a couple of weeks now, and Y/N would always tell themselves that they had to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier as well, so that they would be prepared for the school year…alas, they always failed, claiming that they functioned much better at night. Now, they cursed at themselves for that. Brushing their thoughts aside, Y/N slowly walked to the bus stop close to their house. It was a couple of minutes walk at most, and they still had about 10 minutes left before the next bus would arrive. They tilted their head to the side as they saw cars driving in and out of a house closeby. Y/N’s mother had told them that someone had bought it and would have transferred there soon. Y/N simply spent the wait scrolling through their phone, and once the bus did get there, they were thankful to see that most of the seats were still free. Y/N was thankful that this was one of the first stops the bus had to take, so this was usually the case. As they got on, they showed their bus pass to the conductor and then went on to take a seat. It was a 30 minutes ride, and as such, Y/N thought it wouldn’t be that bad of an idea to lean their head on the bus’ window and get a bit of rest. Their gaze was initially fixed on the landscape outside, taking some type of enjoyment in observing the rest of the world wake up and also go on about their lives, but soon, their eyelids began fluttering, and his mind started to drift away to the land of dreams. Only, instead of being able to wander through Morpheus’ reign, Y/N’s mind was immediately picked up and thrown back to reality by the uncomfortably loud voice of a familiar person that had gone to take the seat right next to them.

“You couldn’t even wait for me to get on the bus…did you stay up all night playing League again? ” Y/N didn’t know whether or not this voice sounded incredibly irritating or lovingly familiar to them. Y/N’s immediate groan left space for a soft smile, as their eyes were met with the sight of the person they considered their best friend applying blush on her own face. “I don’t think we’re allowed to wear make-up…” Y/N’s voice was muffled due to them being on the verge of falling asleep. They recomposed themselves, straightening up to leave their friend more space. She paused for a second, turning to face Y/N as she spoke up. “It’s not a lot; it shouldn’t be an issue…besides, I have to look my best if I want to make a good impression on others, no? You’re going to leave me to do all the talking anyway…” The brunette exclaimed as she went back to focus on what she was doing before. Y/N simply chuckled in response, as Alice wasn’t wrong at all.

Alice and Y/N met during their second year of middle school. The two did not attend the same class, and weirdly enough, had never even seen each other around school before their meeting. Their school had organized a field trip for all classes within their year, and because theirs were the ones with the least amount of people in them, they ended up sharing a bus. Still, there were many free seats, and thus Y/N took advantage of that to basically lay on two of them to use as a makeshift bed.  Just like a bolt from the blue though, Alice and a friend of hers decided to approach Y/N to ask if they could let them sit there. Asking themselves why out of all people, the duo had to go and disturb them, Y/N groaned but let them take the seats anyway.  Normally, that interaction would have been their last, but unlike them, Alice made it clear right away that she was a big extrovert.  Alice and her friend started making riddles to all those that sat close to them, and as Y/N also fit in that category, they were brought into it as well.  It felt awkward at first, but Alice had been capable of bringing Y/N out of their shell, which Y/N was grateful for. They started hanging out together since then, and quickly became very close. “There is only one person from your class in middle school, right?” Alice asked as she put her hand mirror in her brown backpack. Y/N hummed. “Mhm, Kang Hye-na. She can be kind, but we weren’t really close.” “Don’t worry, Jisoo and Mingi will be with us too. I’ve already introduced you to them. There are also a few more names I’ve seen around, but there are quite a lot of people I’ve never met yet.” she added nonchalantly as she smiled at them. “It’s alright, you’ll carry my social life like I carry you in League.” Y/N responded by chuckling to themselves, but quickly jolted in pain after having received a jab to the stomach by their friend. “We’re doomed then.” Alice added, joining Y/N in their laughter. Y/N was indeed worried about having to meet new people. Making a good first impression was quite important, but they also didn’t really feel like having to put too much effort into getting to know them. Socializing with people truly was tough, and Y/N was never really fond of having to do that. Fortunately enough, their new class didn’t really have a lot of people.

The bus ride continued smoothly, and soon enough, the pair got off the bus alongside a number of other students who immediately walked towards the gate. An intense feeling of nausea started dwelling up within Y/N’s chest as a back and forth of students began surrounding them, as everybody attempted to get past the morning rush that was causing a cluster of people to form in front of the gates.  Students, teachers, staff…it all made Y/N’s head hurt, as they narrowed their eyes in an attempt to stay focused on the road ahead. New students clearly did not know where to go, and it quickly became a mess. Crowds were something Y/N really couldn’t deal with well. They felt out of place; they could feel their lungs burning up as breathing started to become harder and a need to escape invaded their thoughts. Like a slap to the face though, Y/N was brought down to earth by Alice’s gesture of grasping their hand to hold onto. “Stay close to me…” She muttered out as people pushed through. And almost as quickly as it came to be, the crowd dispersed, as everyone was finally able to go on their own merry way. Y/N and Alice did as well, managing to find a sign that indicated the location of their classroom.

The first thing Y/N noticed after having entered the room were the beige walls that enclosed it; they were mostly empty, giving off an eerie yet nostalgic feeling about them. There were a few maps attached to them, yet it wasn’t enough to shake off that apprehension. Two windows on one side of the room and three more at the back of it took over the role of illuminating the class, allowing light through them to repel darkness. “They’re already here!” Alice’s voice whispered (but also not really) to them, pushing Y/N to divert their gaze from the walls and onto the few people that had already arrived. Mingi and Jisoo, Alice’s friends, were already there, having taken two adjacent desks around the left side of the class. Y/N could see Alice moving from the corner of their right eye as the girl basically rushed to greet her other friends. Y/N counted six other students but couldn’t really recognize any of them, assuming they all had to be coming from other schools. Some of them were interacting with each other, while others were simply sitting on a chair, fidgeting with their fingers. That made them feel slightly better, as there were people who were in the same situation as them: riddled with anxiety.

Y/N reached Alice, greeting Mingi and Jisoo with a polite bow. The duo smiled in return. “How are you feeling, Y/N?” Jisoo asked with a small smile painted on her face. “Could be better, will definitely be missing sleeping up until lunch time…” Y/N replied, to which Mingi chuckled. “I get that; I have spent this summer rotting away in my room…” He added. “You kinda did that even throughout the school year though?” Alice’s voice interrupted. “You say that as if you haven’t been doing the same…” Mingi stated, to which Alice shrugged her shoulders. “I need sleep to be as perfect as I always am.” “Have you applied make-up?” Jisoo’s quiet voice came out, interrupting the banter between the two, and Alice struggled to find the words to respond immediately. Y/N chuckled. “It shouldn’t be an issue, right?” Their words filled with a teasing tone that Alice immediately shut down with a loud groan. The four of them kept talking for a bit, pausing themselves from time to time to observe those who they would have soon called classmates. Alice and Mingi would greet familiar faces, while Jisoo and Y/N remained still, both too introverted to really go out of their way to say hello. They’d awkwardly smile at each other when those moments happened, finding some type of comfort knowing that they weren’t alone in that struggle. Hyena had also entered the classroom at some point, but Y/N limited themselves to waving at her, to which she replied in a similar manner.

It didn’t take long for a middle-aged woman with black hair tied into a ponytail to enter the classroom, which led to students all taking a seat. Alice and Y/N sat in two adjacent desks, right next to Mingi and Jisoo’s. The woman introduced herself as Mrs. Choi, their class’ coordinator. She began a whole speech about integrity, the importance of studying and then remarked multiple times how her role was that of acting as a liaison between the class and their teachers. To be honest, be it due to lack of sleep or be it due to the whole speech being as basic as one could possibly be, Y/N didn’t really put a lot of effort into listening to her. The words ‘introduce yourselves’ stuck out to them, and by the time the first student began speaking, Y/N realized what was going on and what they had to do. They found these types of introductions a bit awkward, but could understand why they were important…you can’t really spend the future 3 years without knowing your classmates’ names. Everyone was stating their first and last name, their age, and one thing they liked and disliked. Y/N could feel second-hand embarrassment take over them, but soon enough came to the conclusion that they couldn’t waste time feeling empathy towards others when their turn to do the same wasn’t that far away. Jisoo introduced herself, then Mingi, and as Alice was about to finish speaking, Y/N had yet to decide what to say. As soon as their friend was done, Y/N could see eyes shift onto them, waiting for them to talk. As their heartbeat became irregular, Y/N opened their mouth to speak. “Y/N L/N, I turned 16 this summer…one thing I like is…sleeping…I guess? and I dislike bitter food.” “Well, I sure do hope you won’t be sleeping during my classes.” Mrs. Choi made an attempt at a joke, to which some students chuckled. They survived that first experience, but knowing how these things work, Y/N didn’t expect that round of introductions to be the last one. Once everybody had finished introducing themselves, Mrs. Choi started talking about her subject and what the class would have been about. They had three more classes before lunch break, and three more after it. The second and third one came and went about as smoothly as they could have, despite the fact that each student had to introduce themselves again. By the time they were done, Y/N and Alice would tell each other what each student would be saying before they could even finish, pretend to be mind readers, and then chuckle at their childish sense of humor. The issues came during the last lesson before lunch break. Their math teacher, Mr. Kim, thought it would have been fun to shuffle the class a bit, assuming that everyone would have sat close to students they already knew. He wasn’t wrong, but it was still very much unneeded. Alice couldn’t contain her laughter when Y/N stared at her with imploring eyes. “Sorry, can’t save you.” she stated lightly. All students folded a piece of paper with their name written on it and gave it to Mr. Kim, who improvised a lottery.

As each name got extracted, Y/N couldn’t help but think about how pointless this whole thing was. They would have rather taken a test than having to do this. Why would a teacher force them all out of their comfort zone right from the beginning? ‘Just leave us be…’ Y/N thought to themselves, holding their temples with an exasperated look. “...L/N Y/N!” a shiver went up Y/N’s back as they could feel their skin getting warmer. Why did this whole thing remind them of the Hunger Games? They stood up, moving to the new seat that was waiting for them. The spot next to it was still empty, but the best they could have hoped for was for Mingi’s name to come up, as Alice and Jisoo had lucked out by being paired with each other. “...Seok Matthew!” Mr. Kim mouthed. ‘Oh, the Canadian guy.’ Seok Matthew had lived in Canada for most of his childhood, transferring to Korea during his last year of Middle School. He had also skipped a year, so he was actively younger than the majority of the class by a year. ‘Seok Matthew liked eating and is recently getting into cooking as well, he dislikes rain during summer…which is oddly specific.’ Y/N thought as their gaze was fixed on the young man walking towards them. Matthew was also the only person who came from his previous class, and didn’t really seem to know anybody, yet he approached Y/N beaming a smile that radiated happiness through and through. The way he spoke and expressed himself had an innocent yet contrastingly sly charm about it. One could describe the young man as being similar to the sun: it makes you want to stare at him, but the more you do, the more you endanger yourself. The type of person who’d be able to convince you to do something even if you didn’t want to. Y/N would know, their best friend was that type of person. Y/N hummed to themselves ‘Be careful, Y/N.’. “Matthew. It’s nice to meet you!” the young brunette offered a handshake, his toothy smile shaking Y/N to their core. Recomposing themselves from the initial dumbfoundedness, Y/N accepted the handshake, sporting an attempt at a smile. “Y/N. Nice to meet you too.” “I saw your keychain…” Matthew pointed at Y/N’s backpack, a small Eevee keychain being attached to it. “I’m a HUGE Pokémon fan!” “A-Ah, I see…” “What’s your favorite generation!?” Matthew’s whispering did not resemble a whisper, and Y/N’s anxiety spiked up due to not wanting to be scolded by the teacher. “Heart Gold was my first game…I’ve got a soft spot for Gen two.” “Ah! Blastoise is my favorite, I do like Gen one a lot!” Y/N nodded. Y/N was quite the fan of Pokémon as well, but they could discern that there were better moments to talk about that than lessons. “I understand that you want to get to know each other, but could you please do so another time? L/N, Seok?” Mr. Kim called them out, and Y/N immediately jolted up, mumbling an ‘I apologize’. Matthew did the same, but Y/N couldn’t really hear him, due to embarrassment having fulfilled most of their thoughts. They could feel their chest tightening, their cheeks were blushing, and their ears’ color was also darkening. Deep down, they were cursing the sunshine boy next to them, although that feeling died down the moment Matthew turned towards them to apologize. “It’s alright, don’t worry.” Y/N couldn’t really manage to say anything else, as the puppy look their deskmate was giving them was making them feel guilty for even having had such thoughts.

Once their seats were rearranged, Mr. Kim also went over the program they would have studied throughout the year, but Mr. Kim had also decided that surprises were not over with him. “Your last class today will also be with me, so I figured I’d give you a little assignment! I want you to get acquainted with your new deskmates. We’ll be doing a small test later to see how much you’ve managed to accomplish that and what your cooperation skills are looking like! Is that all good?” A chorus of yes followed their teacher’s request, but all Y/N could think about was: ‘What the hell does any of this have to do with math…’. As soon as the teacher made his way out the door, a buzzing of voices followed, as people began exchanging pleasantries to get to know each other. “Can…Can I ask you something?” Y/N turned around as Matthew’s voice spoke clearly. “Oh, sure.” “Do you want to have lunch with my friends and me?" It’s ok if you can’t, I figured that we could maybe…take advantage of that to get to know each other more?” Y/N’s brain became foggy for a second, not expecting that request. They were aware of the fact that Matthew must have felt alone in the new class, but they also weren’t much of a fan of having to socialize with a number of people they had never spoken to. ‘It’s easy Y/N, just reject saying that you’re going to have lunch with your friends and that you can’t leave them alone.’ “I…” Matthew seemed very hopeful. Those puppy eyes… “Sure, I’d be happy to. Could my friends join us too?” Those damn puppy eyes. “Of course! The more the merrier!”

The aroma of savory meat spread throughout the entire cafeteria, making its way down Y/N’s nostrils the moment they walked through the door. Mrs. Choi had mentioned how the school’s cafeteria’s cooking was quite good, but they did not expect to be surprised THAT much. “Can you smell that? My mouth is salivating…” Matthew said, and next to him, Alice nodded with energy. Y/N hoped that Alice would have given them any reason to refuse Matthew’s offer, but their hopes were foolishly misplaced, as Alice grinned and accepted right away. Mingi and Jisoo weren’t against it either, and so the quartet made their way to have lunch together. Y/N truly felt disappointed in themselves…they thought they’d be less inclined to be convinced by people’s antics. They all got in line to get their food tray, and slowly filled them up with what they wanted to eat, with Y/N being the last. “Oh, my friends are here!” What happened after that all felt like a confused and foggy mess in Y/N’s head. The sound of footsteps protruded all around them; Y/N thought they heard Alice introducing herself, and voices they couldn’t recognize started responding back to her. Y/N turned around. A loud thud followed. They could feel something bumping into them, or maybe they were the one who bumped into it? Y/N could feel their body lose their balance, making its way to meet the floor beneath their feet, only to halt halfway through. Was there a way to prevent this incident? If Y/N hadn’t accepted Matthew’s request, would they be in this situation? They couldn’t blame the poor boy for their own incapability of standing perfectly still. Were Y/N’s shoelaces untied? Or were they simply extremely clumsy? Y/N couldn’t really tell. Y/N’s eyelashes fluttered as they continued to rapidly blink multiple times. Their vision became clearer, and everything started to be put in place within their scattered brain.

Y/N’s food tray was on the ground, food scattered all over the floor. ‘That must be the source of the thud.’ they concluded to themselves. “Are you alright?” Y/N’s head whipped towards the direction of the voice that spoke to them. Y/N was being held by a young man with short, black hair. His uniform had been stained by Y/N’s food, with grains of rice and a couple of pieces of marinated beef laying over it. Y/N’s whole face was turning red, as they could feel their chest getting heavier with each breath. They had goosebumps all over their arms, and their whole skin was getting warmer and warmer by the second. It was over. It had to be over. Y/N would have never been able to live knowing how much of a mess they had made. Disappearing right then and there was the only way they would have been able to avoid dying from humiliation. That was the only way. Y/N had to conjure a hole to swallow them up and never spit them out ever again. “Can you stand?” The young man’s question seemed genuine enough, not really emanating any type of angry vibe…yet, Y/N refused to believe that the raven haired boy that was holding them did not want to punish them for their clumsiness. “A-Ah! YES!” Y/N basically yelled out as they recomposed themselves, finally feeling ground under their feet again. “I am so, so sorry! P-please let me help!” The boy chuckled as Y/N took out a napkin from their pocket. “It’s all good! Don’t worry!” He smiled, disarming Y/N in the process. Turning to look at the food tray that laid on the ground, he opened his mouth again. “Your food on the other hand has likely seen better times…” “Oh.” Y/N mumbled. They started to lower their upper body in order to pick it up, but the boy had preceded them, doing so and handing it over to them. Y/N bowed, their head almost hitting the ground to show their gratitude. “It’s ok, really. You don’t have to worry!” Even as the boy claimed that, what else could Y/N do? They had just embarrassed themselves in front of a large portion of the school. They could feel an increasing amount of eyes laying on their figures, scanning every single one of their motions. Y/N’s survival plan when it came to high school was fairly simple. Do NOT make a scene, EVER. The least amount of attention you gather the better. You don’t want to give people a reason to think of you as memorable, you want to be forgotten, not noticed. Y/N had just failed that one task. On their first day of school to boost that up. How much of a failure could they be? “You know you could have picked something else if you didn’t want rice and beef, right?” Alice’s voice became clear, as Y/N snapped from their thoughts of impending doom. This got a laugh out of the boy who had saved them. “She’s not wrong, you could have just asked me if I wanted to eat it instead.” “Hanbin Hyung, don’t tease them like that…” Matthew’s voice was the one thing holding Y/N back from falling into an abyss of shame. Matthew’s friend chuckled. “I know, I’m just kidding. Besides, it was also my fault for standing so close to them. I’m sorry.” Y/N’s body reacted before they could properly think, as they went to shake their hands in front of their chest. “Don’t worry, I should have looked where I was going…also, I should probably clean, shouldn’t I? You guys go up ahead and take a table.” As they said so, Y/N immediately kneeled down, picking up remains of food with a napkin. “Ah, wait.” Y/N looked up to see Matthew’s friend move to talk to one of the lunch ladies, and then come back with a broom and a dustpan in his hands. He helped Y/N clean the food off of the food, and then went back to give the broom back, throwing the food he had gathered in the dustpan in the garbage bin. Y/N didn’t know what to do except from thanking the boy over and over again. From Y/N’s point of view, they were the cause of the mess, dragging in a poor guy who responded with nothing but kindness. It was sketchy, but he seemed genuine.

“Thank you…and sorry.” “I told you it’s all good!” The boy, who had introduced himself as Sung Hanbin, stated while smiling. Y/N couldn’t help but think that maybe all of Matthew’s circle of friends had positive mindsets, it felt surreal. As Hanbin and Y/N got food for themselves again, they walked towards the table the others had sat around. Alice, Mingi, Jisoo, Matthew and another young man, whose name was Taerae, sat at the table talking to each other, and when they saw Hanbin and Y/N approach them, they scooted to the side of the table to let them some space. “Cinderella, I’m not sure you cleaned everything properly…” Alice lightly mocked Y/N. “Ah, I apologize, evil stepmother, next time I shall do better.” The two chuckled, and a few giggles could be heard around them too. “We were talking about how we met each other!” Matthew said as he looked in Hanbin and Y/N’s direction, who were now sitting in front of one another. “Mhm, I told them that the moment I saw you laying on those seats in the bus, the first thing I thought was ‘That sack of potatoes is going to become my best friend.’, and it turns out I can predict the future!” Alice jumped in, explaining the story again so that Hanbin could be caught up. “...So most of your first times meeting someone are eventful moments.” Hanbin joked, referring himself to their own meeting. “I know, right? I don’t know what it is, but I can’t meet someone without dragging myself through the mud first.” Hanbin chuckled again, his eyes litting up as he did. Y/N thought he had a beautiful smile. “What about you? How did you guys meet?” Jisoo asked. “Oh, Taerae and I attended the same singing lessons! As for Matthew, our parents have known each other for a long time, so I’ve been taking care of him since he transferred here.” Hanbin explained, to which Matthew interjected. “You make it sound like I’m a baby or something…” “Yeah, my baby!~” The black haired boy went to tease the other by poking his cheeks, and a small whine came out of Matthew’s mouth, although it seemed clear to Y/N that he was actually enjoying it. Y/N smiled as Mingi yelled out a ‘cute!’. The group kept on conversing up until time came to head off to class again. “We should probably get going…” Taerae said as he tapped Hanbin’s right shoulder. Hanbin nodded. “We’ll see you around then! and take care of Matthew for me!” Hanbin chuckled as he smiled at the others. Matthew lightly hit him on the shoulder, pretending to complain. “Y/N, you’re his deskmate, you’ve gotta make sure he doesn’t get in trouble!” Mingi replied. “Well they’re not doing that well of a job considering how both of them got called out by Mr. Kim already…” Alice joined in. Y/N sighed, they waved back at Hanbin and Taerae, and then walked their way back to their classroom. Matthew’s friends weren’t that bad at all. It was surprising to Y/N how quickly they managed to make them feel at ease.

The remaining lessons were over quite quickly, and when Mr. Kim came back for the last class, he had prepared a small evaluation test for the class to take in pairs. It wasn’t really difficult, and by then, Matthew and Y/N had had enough conversations for them to avoid feeling awkward and focus on the test, even joking around from time to time as some of the problems presented to them were quite funny. After they were done, they handed their test over, and made their way out of the class. There were a few people already out, waiting for everybody to finish. They were discussing what answers were correct for each question, and Matthew basically dragged Y/N into the conversation. The two were satisfied as it seemed like they had done a good enough job. Not too long after, the bell rang, and people started making their way out of the school. After having said bye to Matthew, Mingi and Jisoo, Alice and Y/N got on the bus back home. They were slightly tired, but the fact that club activities had not started yet made everything easier on them. “T’was not a bad first day, was it?” “That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one who made a mess in the cafeteria…” “Nobody even noticed…” “People were looking though.” “Not for long!” Y/N sighed. “...I guess that’s true. It wasn’t that bad. Matthew and his friends seem nice too.” Alice nodded. “Pretty cute as well.” Y/N laughed out loud in response. Alice wasn’t wrong, they were all quite handsome. Y/N could have seen all of them as potential idols or models in the future. “That’s my stop!” Alice said as she waved to Y/N. “See you tomorrow!” “See ya.” Soon enough, Y/N’s bus stop also came in sight, prompting them to stand up and move to get off. It didn’t take long for Y/N to walk down the road to reach their house, their mind empty as they only thought about wanting to take an afternoon nap. “Well, hello there.” A familiar voice called out to them. Y/N turned around to stare at the source of said voice, only to find Matthew’s friend, Sung Hanbin, standing behind them. “...Oh, hi. What…are you doing here?” Hanbin was smiling gently, and Y/N’s body couldn’t help but react by smiling back at him. They noticed he wasn’t wearing the same shirt that was dirtied in the cafeteria. Did someone lend him a new shirt? Did he get in trouble with teachers for having dirtied his school uniform? Y/N’s paranoid mind brought them to worry about things that likely didn’t even matter. “I transferred there.” Hanbin pointed in a direction behind Y/N, and when they turned around, they saw it was the house that was recently sold that Hanbin was pointing at. “Oh, I see.” “What about you?” He asked with a curious tone of voice. “I live there.” Y/N exclaimed, pointing at a house that was two buildings away from Hanbin’s own.

Y/N didn’t know what to say and how to react to Hanbin’s surprised face. His small smile turned bigger, as his eyes started to shine a light of their own. “Are you for real?!” Y/N lightly nodded their head. “Mhm.” Hanbin immediately went to grab Y/N’s hands in his own, shaking them up and down energetically. ‘...What is wrong with him…’ Y/N couldn’t help but think that, even though they didn’t mean that as a mean question, they were weirdly happy about that outburst of energy. “I’m so glad to have someone I know in the neighborhood!” He said as he finally let go of Y/N’s hand, only to take a step back, cough to himself to recompose himself, and lean a hand forward. “I should officially introduce myself: my name is Sung Hanbin, it’s nice to meet you, neighbor.” Y/N’s eyes widened as they paused for a second to stare at the young man in front of them. They opened their mouth to say something, but only a loud laughter came out. “W- I was just-” Y/N took Hanbin’s hand in their own, shaking it firmly. “L/N Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you, neighbor.” If Y/N’s life were to be transposed to a movie or a TV series, Y/N knew that they wouldn’t be able to be a main character. They did not have the qualities to be one. But Sung Hanbin did. Sung Hanbin had all the qualities to be the main character of any story he’d be put in. Even if it were Y/N’s life, Sung Hanbin would end up becoming the protagonist. Y/N was ok with that, as Sung Hanbin was the person that would have turned their entire life into something Y/N would have never let go of. On that day, Sung Hanbing and L/N YN’s story began.

[grungykeroppi]

𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨

Blaise Zabini X gender and house neutral reader

Summary: you share a blanket with Blaise Zabini during a trip to Hogsmeade in a cold fall day, having a stream of consciousness about your future.

the story takes place during third year, there are many references to thypical middle schooler experiences and to coming of age (inspired by my own experience too).

Tags and warnings: fluff, a bit cringe ig.

You always kinda knew Blaise Zabini even though you never really talked to each other, but that was until your third year, during your first visit to hogsmeade.

You walked alongside your housemates and through the crowd behind you, you spotted him with his friends and you had the slight feeling that he was checking you out.

You immediately blushed at the random thought, you’ve never really pictured being with Zabini before and knew he was trouble, but soon you brushed the thought out of your head, thinking it could have been a trick of your hormonal teenage mind.

You continued to walk trying not to think about it too much, but you could clearly feel his gaze stumbling upon your figure from time to time.

What you didn’t know is that he was actually checking you out, in fact he has been for the last three years, remaining unnoticed thanks to his calm and collected behavior, but today it was different; he was quite restless, he glanced in your direction more and more and it was clear that he was looking at you: that was because he planned to make his first move.

He actually asked himself many times if waiting for so long was the best idea, but being untrusty of people and kind of the observer type, it ended up like this anyways.

It was mid fall, but the air was already quite chilly for your liking, so you didn’t really enjoy the trip to hogsmeade, and even after all that walking you didn’t really warm up; you tried staying inside shops as long as possible to keep yourself safe from the cold, but being packed with customers you couldn’t really stay inside for much, so you just decided to hop on a bench near the shrieking shack and snuggle up in your house scarf eating some candies.

You enjoyed being alone like that, the sounds around you almost distracting from the stinging cold, but suddenly you felt some warm fabric covering your shoulders; you got startled at first, but you turned your head: your eyes meeting with the dark gaze of Blaise Zabini. 

“Noticed you were cold and thought about doing something for you” he muttered under his breath, by his words you would say that he was shy, but that wasn’t the case, he was the quiet, stern type, he seemed always confident, never vulnerable.

“Thanks, Zabini” you breathed out astonished by his action acknowledging that the fabric that he threw around you was a brand new blanket, you were surprised that seeing your every small action he was able to read right through you, but you couldn’t seem to get anything about him; “Please, don’t call me that, I hate this things” he responded, taking a seat next to you, while you snuggled under the blanket raising your legs on the bench, so that they would be close to the rest of your body.

“Why? Don’t like your last name?” You asked him while trying to sound cool passing him the opened pack of candies; “No, that’s not it…thanks. You know, I’ve got it from my mum…she’s pretty famous”, “yeah I think I know her…I think you take from her a lot” you told him implying that he was quite attractive, he chuckled in response and thank you with a smile; you probably fed up his vanity and the prize for it was seeing him smile, it was rare seeing him like this, but you immediately noticed the way his plump lips opened up revealing his teeth, wondering if that smile was as sincere as it seemed.

You remained still for a bit staring at his features unable to find any flaw on his face, the closest thing to being a flaw was his prominent greek nose, but it kind of suited him; your gaze wandering along his bare neck and soft jawline; then you wouldn’t have known that you would be around to see those traits change overtime, so you felt unsure of what to do, imagining his reaction to the things you were thinking about, how you could mess everything up and how he could betray your trust, knowing about his usual behavior.

But you thought that after all you were young, you had much time to mess up and heal yourself, what wrong could it do, to open your heart once? You knew that these things wouldn’t go away, even if you never felt them before you also knew that your every small crush could become a painful obsession in your unripe heart.

“Did you buy this just for me?” You said trying to distract him from the way you were admiring his face, and he turned his head at you amused, nodding slightly.

You stayed there, not daring to say anything else, you just got close to him and wrapped one side of the blanket around his right shoulder so that it would cover you both up; he smirked at himself, remaining silent, satisfied that his effort was appreciated.

You didn't know how things would end up eventually; that small gesture being your first step into unknown territory, you decided to take it light-heartedly opening up a possibility you've never contemplated; but that wasn't so bad, you appreciated the attention, the love of another person, something that you thought you'd never be valuable or popular enough for.

You didn't know what Blaise thought of that moment, but you were sure that he wasn't as paranoid as you; in his naive vanity he already had you wrapped around his fingers, however he knew that to keep you close he needed to let go of his pride.

So you two stood there protected from the breeze by a soft blanket, but between the folds of fabric you were as vulnerable as ever.

[thegigilwriter]

15 | “Danger & Star, Rooster & Angel” — Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female Mitchell OC

Summary. 26-year-old Lucy Asa Mitchell did not know what was in store for her when she first bumped into Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw. After an instant mutual connection followed by a sweet whirlwind romance that swept both their feet, Lucy found herself being immersed deeper into Bradley’s world of the Navy, F-14s, and deployments. What she didn’t expect was finding was the answer to an elusive part of her past — the identity of her long-lost father.

Chapter Summary. Lucy’s birthday looms near and Frankie isn’t able to make it. So she makes it up to her before she leaves. Luckily, Bradley has some plans in mind and he holds out hope that in time Lucy will reveal more about her complicated family.

Masterlist

Keywords/Warnings: Romance, angst, BFF times

15 | Seashell by the Seashore 🐚

September 18, 2023

“Tanti auguri a, tetanti auguri a. Tetanti auguri a Luciaaaa.... Tanti auguri a te!ˮ

Lucy and Francesca clapped side by side, sitting together under the shade of a large parasol buried in the sand, sitting on a fitted sheet to keep the sand at bay, and enjoying the view of the sea in the mild San Diego afternoon. Francesca had baked them a lovely, little red velvet cake with buttercream frosting and they began to pick it apart with a fork, paired with some glasses of Pinot Noir.

“Iʼm sorry that I canʼt make it on your actual birthday,ˮ Frankie frowned.

“Whatʼre you talking about?ˮ Lucy smiled. “Today is my birthday. Today, I am 26 for you, my friend.ˮ

They laughed lightly, glasses clinking.

“How old is Bradley, again?ˮ Francesca hummed.

“40,ˮ Lucy replied casually. “Quite the age gap, eh?ˮ

“It is, but whenever I look at both of you I canʼt decide whether youʼre older than you look or heʼs younger than he seems!ˮ

“Thank you,ˮ Lucy chuckled.

A brief quiet ensued as they both had a bite of cake.

“Have you told him? About your mom?ˮ Francesca asked her quietly.

“Yeah,ˮ Lucy smiled. “Squeezed a few tears out of me... but I got it out in the open eventually.ˮ

“And Ford? Did you tell him about the letters and about Maveri—“

“No,ˮ she sighed deeply. “Not yet... not yet. Frankie, I really donʼt want to tal—“

“Lucia,ˮ Francesca said firmly. “I respect your privacy and your autonomy. You have a right to both. But my friend, your fatal flaw is your own isolation — you lie and push people away because youʼre afraid—“

“Frankie—“

“Youʼre afraid that if they got to know the person you really are theyʼll leave and theyʼll take all of their love with them.ˮ

Francesca Agosti was no academic marvel. She did not have any educational qualifications to become a curator and a painter. She flunked out of the fancy private college her father paid for. But she was a great scholar when it comes to the matters of the heart. She and Lucy share the trait of being insightful. While Lucy applies it towards interacting with whales, Francesca puts it on a canvas. That, is what makes her a passionate artist.

“Whatever happened to Ford was not your punishment of the matters you last exchanged,ˮ Francesca held her hand. “What happened to your mom is something out of your control. What happened to you — to wild Lucy — shouldnʼt have had to change.ˮ

“But Bradley—“

“Bradley Bradshaw is a good man,ˮ Francesca enveloped her weeping friend into her arms lovingly. “That man is absolutely in love with you, Lucia. I can see it in his eyes.ˮ

“I-In love?ˮ Lucy stuttered. “With me?ˮ

“With you,ˮ Francesca tucked her stray hairs behind her ears. “Forgive yourself Lucia,ˮ she smiled kindly. “Let him love you.ˮ

“Okay,ˮ Lucy whispered.

“I have something for you,ˮ Francesca pulled her tote bag towards her and retrieved a medium-sized box decorated with iridescent swirls and a white bow. She handed it to Lucy.

It was heavy in Lucyʼs lap, and whatever it was it thudded against the corners as she shook it gently. She undid the bow and opened the lid. Wrapped in pale tissue, was a magnificent conch shell. It was a foot in size with a large flaring lip. It had a pretty, consistent pale peach color all throughout with a vibrant pink that emerged from its entrance. Its spines were elegantly curved and ethereal.

“Oh Frankie,ˮ she sighed. “Itʼs beautiful.. But I canʼt — there are only about 50,000 in the world and I donʼt know how you got this but if itʼs from a protected area —“

“Lucia stop,ˮ Francesca chuckled. “Remember Scala dei Turkei? I tripped on that a week before I came here. I had it checked out, thereʼs nothing in here and itʼs okay to keep...ˮ

“Thank you Frankie,ˮ she embraced her tightly. “For everything.ˮ

Just then, Lucyʼs phone rang and from just how she smiled as she picked it up, Francesca could tell just who it was on the other side…

“Yeah,ˮ Lucy chuckled looking at Francesca. “I think sheʼd like that.ˮ

“Iʼve only had a glass,ˮ she argued. “I can have a beer.ˮ

Francesca giggled. Lucy stood up, gesturing for the bathroom.

“We can always Uber, Bradley,ˮ she said into the phone as she went ahead and grabbed her purse.

“Okay, okay, if you insist.ˮ Lucy sighed as she sauntered away.

Francesca watched her from the distance, her mind drifting and finding itself to Robert Floyd. It was no secret that Francesca has had her fair share of lovers — some amorous, some stoic, some scandalous, and some just too square. But she never really met anyone who was quite like Robert Floyd.

“Looks like that went well,ˮ Bob smiled at her.

“It looks like that right now,ˮ she replied to him as she downed another Bellini. “But wait until the paper comes out tomorrow and Italyʼs most snobby pricks nitpick the failure of a daughter from a family gallerists.ˮ

They were walking the length of the restricted areas museum at night. Bob had her heels in his hand and his jacket on her shoulders. They found a tall glass door to a patio and just before they exited to meet with the view of the sea, they spotted two lovers, so engrossed with each other that neither of them felt the chilly air.

“Theyʼre really going at it,ˮ Bob chuckled as Bradley pulled Lucy closer to him. “Iʼve never seen Rooster like this.ˮ

“Neither have I with Lucia,ˮ Francesca remarked. “Come, I know some other place we can go.ˮ

They ended up in an empty gallery room in which Francesca powered a switch nearby and a floating, projected art exhibition illuminated the space. It was one of those instagram- worthy, art-interactive, locations that people loved to take pictures at.

“I think these kinds of exhibitions were made for clout,ˮ Bob said as-matter-of- factly.

“Definitely,ˮ Francesca drawled, her stance flailing. She sat down on one corner of the room and Bob followed suit, watching the lights scatter against the white walls.

“Youʼre not a failure, yʼknow?ˮ He told her. “History tells us that the critics arenʼt always right.ˮ

“Thatʼs true,ˮ Francesca nodded sleepily. “But those artists werenʼt children of my Father.ˮ

A beat.

“Artists donʼt please, they create.ˮ Bob told her. Francesca looked at him thoughtfully. The lights were hypnotic, the Bellini buzz was on its high, and his lips looked very lonely. She cupped his cheek and slowly drew him to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder gently.

“Itʼs late,ˮ he said. “Let me take you home.ˮ

Unbeknownst to Francesca whose face placed in her palms, Bradley had arrived in khaki uniform and walked up to their little patch of shade on the beach.

“You alright?ˮ He asked her. Francesca looked up.

“Oh yes...ˮ Francesca smiled. “Lucia just went to the bathroom. Sheʼll be back.ˮ

“Well I sure hope so,ˮ Bradley joked. “Iʼve had a whole thing planned for her birthday. I would hate for her to miss it... I hope she likes it.ˮ

“As long as itʼs from you, Iʼm sure sheʼll enjoy it.ˮ She replied.

“What did you get her?ˮ Bradley gestured towards the gift box. Francesca opened the lid.

“Only about 50,000 of those left. Are they from a—“

“No theyʼre not from a protected area,ˮ Francesca chuckled. “I stubbed my toe on that on an isolated beach in Italy. Had it checked out too. You listen to her...ˮ

“‘Course I do,ˮ Bradley tuck his aviators in his shirt as he ducked into the shade and sat beside her. “Sheʼs my girlfriend…”

“Iʼm going to take care of her you know,ˮ he told her after a moment of stillness, looking out to the water.

“I know you will... just be patient with her,ˮ Francesca sighed. “If thereʼs anything I can tell you, itʼs that Lucy comes from a family where... pushing down their feelings and hiding their problems is way to be strong. Itʼll be hard — getting Lucia out of her shell.ˮ

“Hey!ˮ Lucy arrived a few moments later in her white sunhat, she crawled into their enclosure, eyes lighting up at the sight of Bradley

“Hey Angel,ˮ he grinned handsomely as he kissed her cheek. “Ready for the Hard Deck?ˮ

“Is Bob going to be there?ˮ She smirked, a faint blush dusting Francescaʼs cheek.

“You told him?!ˮ She exclaimed. “Lucia!ˮ

“He did, actually.ˮ Bradley answered, winking. “Looks the right one finally came your way.ˮ

New ship unlocked! 🔓💞🔑 Should I make a short spin-off series about these two new lovebirds after Danger & Star, Rooster & Angel? Well that’s a wrap for now! See you at 16 | Lucy’s Surprise!