#so me wanting to talk to him so frequently annoys him and he doesn't hide that very well

[someundefinedaesthetic]

x

[shall-we-die]

Shall we die together?! A question that I have never dared to ask the people closest to me (even my own older brother 🤭 ) Btw, since your request is open may i've a request for all Moriarty the patriot boys with sexy female Assassin s/o who all this time is a florist , fluff ....Oh, yes, s/o likes to tease them when they accidentally meet them😘

Fluff please...

One more thing, what way do we want to die? I want to die beautifully, is that possible?

Thank you ~ and have a nice day 💐 author - chan

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{My dear florist}

☰[Main list]•⊰ Moriarty the Patriot

↬[A/N]•⊰ I have no problem if you want to die with me. However, I want to have a worthy death, so you will have to wait until I find a good reason to die 🕊

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[William]

He would be intrigued and drawn to her mysterious and secretive nature, as well as intimidated by the fact that she's an assassin. He would visit her flower shop frequently, either to buy flowers or just to catch a glimpse of her. She would often tease and flirt with him, finding his aloof and serious personality amusing and wanting to provoke a reaction from him. He would be secretly pleased by her teasing, enjoying the way she challenges and provokes him, but trying to hide it by being stoic and unresponsive. He would find himself drawn to her playful and cheeky personality, despite his serious nature. He might secretly enjoy her banter and look forward to her teasing every time he visits the flower shop. He might also get flustered or caught off guard by her tease at times, his professional persona slipping and showing a hint of vulnerability or embarrassment.

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[Albert]

As expected, Albert wouldn't be flustered very easily. But, when he gets flustered, he can lose his composure quite quickly, and so she'd probably just tease him or keep riling him up to see him get flustered. He would most likely try and swoon her and get her to like him in return, and would also try to figure out how the hell his secret assassin love interest became a *florist*. He'd definitely try to ask her about her job. As in, how she became an assassin, how she is able to blend into normal society so well, and how she ended up as a florist, of all things. He'd probably be really, *really* interested in that. Whenever this love interest of his flirts with him, or teases him, he'd probably get an obvious blush on his face and would be very flustered. He could even be flustered to a point where he struggles to speak.

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[Louis]

He becomes flustered and nervous whenever he sees her at the flower shop, which is odd since he is usually cool and composed. When she teases him, he gets even more embarrassed and stutters more than usual, trying to hide his reddening face. He is always pleasantly surprised by her boldness and sass. He secretly loves her wit and finds her confidence attractive. He starts frequenting the flower shop more often in hopes of seeing her. He starts to develop a routine of buying flowers on a regular basis, even when he doesn't need any, just so that he can see her and hear her voice. He tries to act cool and casual when talking to her but ends up failing miserably and only making himself look even more foolish. He finds himself smiling uncontrollably whenever she tells him a joke or teases him. He gets unusually jealous and annoyed when other people come in the shop to flirt with her.

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[Sebastian]

Sebastian often finds himself visiting the florist shop just to see her, even if he doesn't really need to buy flowers. He's a bit flustered by her teasing, not used to someone having the nerve to mess with him. It's a nice change of pace from his usual environment. Over time, he starts finding himself looking forward to their interactions, secretly enjoying the way she teases him and makes him feel like a typical, lovestruck idiot. Even though he tries to play it cool around her, Sebastian often can't help but blush slightly when she teases him. He begins to fantasize about her, imagining scenarios where he can impress her and win her over. He starts taking extra care with his appearance before going to the florist shop. He becomes jealous when he sees her chatting with the other customers, wondering if she's just as flirtatious with them as she is with him.

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[Sherlock]

He's immediately interested in her, the moment she opens her mouth and starts to tease him. He becomes a regular customer of her flower shop, and never fails to notice the playful edge to her words and actions. He finds himself thinking about her way too much, despite his best intentions. Sherlock will eventually find himself flirting and teasing right back. He's also incredibly confused by her. The contradictions in her character are both intriguing and frustrating. Despite his confusion, Sherlock can't seem to stay away. He finds himself visiting the flower shop more and more often. He becomes even more intrigued when he begins to notice that, beyond her teasing, she's actually quite mysterious. Sherlock starts to observe her, making all sorts of different observations about her, some correct and some incorrect. He gets frustrated whenever he can't figure something out about her, and it becomes increasingly harder to hide his growing curiosity and affection. OK, but I think we need another post about when he finds out she's as assassin.

[luveline]

For the zombie AU with Steve, maybe a night of survival in the cold? Reluctant cuddling, bonding?

YESSSS tysm for ur request i owe u my life

You pull your coat closed around your middle and shiver.

"Come here," Steve says, tucking the map under his arm.

You move to stand in front of him because he's slipped into his caretaking tone. A nice change. Usually he's just mildly annoyed.

He takes the zipper of your coat into his hand and scolds as he tries to fix it for the fiftieth time today. It's awful timing for it to break because it's cold as winter and you're on the road. A fire, as you've learned, would be a mistake. You close your eyes at the thought of such blistering warmth and listen to him cuss under his breath.

"Sorry," you say eventually. His quiet makes you nervous.

"Not your fault, just..." He gives up and steps away from you. "Bad timing."

You hide your hands in your sleeves.

"Maybe we should stop anyways. We're not exactly moving fast," he says bitterly.

You like the sound of that.

There's a tarp at the bottom of your backpack for occasions like this. You shed your bag and dig for it as Steve drops his own. It's not great, your having to carry blankets with you — they're heavy and take up a lot of space — but it's worse to freeze to death outdoors.

The sun creeps down low in the horizon lazily. You think it's as reluctant to go as you are for it to dissapear, its rays the only thing keeping the tip of your nose from freezing and falling off, no doubt.

You search for a stick. It's harder than it sounds.

Steve doesn't like walking along the road and you don't blame him, often there's cars or bikes weaving through the carcasses of cars picked clean, so you hide in the tree bank. A road block or something similar to the south must've broken recently, and the sound of engines revving at night gets more frequent. Better to stay hidden, even if finding somewhere to camp at night proves difficult.

The stick is necessary to build a makeshift tent, but the trees here are all spindly and thin-branched.

You return triumphant with something just long enough to keep the tarp from your bodies to find Steve's already found a better, chunkier stick and established a camp.

"Don't tell me, or anything. Just let me look for sticks for an hour."

"Your perception of time is getting worse."

"Some of us don't wear watches, 'cos we aren't rich, privileged babies."

He actually manages to laugh at that one, which is odd. It's one of the weakest insults you've ever thrown at him.

"That was bad," he says.

Oh. He's laughing at you.

"Jerk."

"What do you want? I have tinned peaches or a chocolate granola bar-"

"Obviously the granola-"

"With laxatative properties," he finishes, holding it between his fingers like a guy from the commercials. He shakes it at you enticingly.

"I'm not that hungry."

"Too bad."

You both sit near the makeshift tent in your heavy clothes. Steve stretches the blanket over your legs with a warning, "If you get peach juice on this I'm not gonna talk to you till Michigan."

You take the open can of peaches and pretend to tip it toward the blanket. "Don't tempt me, Harrington."

You have to keep talking because if you don't you'll cry. Really cry. Eating dinner like this from a can in a bed of leaf litter makes you want to cry. Every mouthful is sweet and sticky and your eyes get heavy with tears.

Steve understands what you're like by now. "I really fucking hate peaches," he says grandly. "I know you're surprised."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"No?"

"Do guys eat fruit?"

It's a talent.

"'Do guys eat fruit?'" he quotes seriously, pensive, like the answer escapes him.

He leans back against his rucksack and crosses his arms behind his head. He could be shooting the breeze, that's how relaxed Steve Harrington looks.

You laugh reluctantly into the can of peaches as you take a little sip of the juice and almost choke.

"I gotta eat that too, you know? Don't spit in it."

"Sorry," you say genuinely, wiping your sticky face with the back of your hand.

"You should be. Gross." He doesn't sound very bothered.

Steve eats his own peach slices with a shiver and tosses the can overhead. It goes really far, hitting the base of a tree across the way. You can imagine him in his gym clothes rather than what he wears now. Prim yellow shorts. Clean gym t-shirt with his name written in pen across the front.

"You can sleep first," he says.

You don't argue, sliding under the tarp with your blanket.

It's easier like this. The sun hasn't quite set but there's really nothing else to do. You'll sleep, Steve will wake you up in a couple of hours and then you'll swap. You'll wake Steve up when the sun rises, and another day on the road will begin.

The floor is very, very cold.

You try your best to stop from shivering and bring the blanket up to cover your face. The sun goes down and the last of its heat goes with it.

You stick it out. Complaining won't make it warmer. Steve doesn't even have a blanket.

"Y/N?" he whispers.

Leaves shift.

"Are you awake?"

You lift your head to see him where he sits at the opening of the 'tent'. It's difficult to make out his features now.

"I can hear your teeth," he says, eyes impassive as they scour your face.

"S-s-sorry," you shudder.

He stares at you for a while before stretching out his legs and shuffling across the dirt toward you. His hands are like ice as he works them under your shoulders and arms, dragging you into his lap.

You're tired and cold. "Steve," you grumble miserably, "what are you doing?"

"Body heat."

He doesn't stop until you're settled, slouching down so you can lean comfortably against his chest. He pulls the ends of your coats together tightly, readjusts your blanket, and covers your hands with both of his.

He yanks the tarp down and covers you with that, too, the both of your engulfed in plastic.

"What if it rains?" you ask.

"On our frozen corpses, you mean?"

You cringe and turn in his arms to hide your face in his scratchy jacket. His head drops toward his chest, chin gracing the top of your head. It's like a hug. It is a hug. You wrap your arms around his waist and try not to think about it.

It's not the most comfortable position in the world. Your back doesn't quite want to turn right, and his thigh probably hurts from your left elbow. Honestly, it's a pretty pathetic excuse for a hug.

"Why don't you just lie down with me?" you say into his coat.

"And get eaten?"

"There's no geeks around here."

"You say that," he murmurs, hands beginning a slow journey down the length of your back, "and then I'll wake up missing one of my legs."

Using the tarp as a blanket was a good idea. Already you feel warmer. Your face defrost where it's hidden in his front.

"Anymore stupid questions tonight?" Steve asks, voice low and amicable.

"Har-har," you mumble.

He rubs your back. Your eyes well up and you bite your lip to stop from crying. It's really, stupidly nice to be close to someone, to him. You miss comfort and music and eating enough, but you miss hugs most of all. You miss hugs from the people who loved you.

"Do you like me?" you whisper.

As soon as you've asked, you wish you hadn't. He doesn't answer, and you think Good, he didn't hear me.

"No more stupid questions," he says finally, tightening his grips on you. "Go to sleep."

-

more steve zombie!au

[tnoy-keraxis]

What would each CC characters podcasts be about

THE QUESTION EVER!!!!!! I have developed this au so far and I love talking about it. I am going to put a cut after the background info because im going to be so annoying

So, for background, they all work for a little podcast network known in my heart as 'Bogs Hollow FM' (BHFM) <3. It was founded by Ragweed and The Narrator (David)* after their podcast was so successful that they could afford to not only expand their podcast but acquire others and fund some new ones!

*Note: I know that this mixes the two layers of fiction that we are given in CC. I know that the Narrator and Ragweed don't actually know the main characters. I know the characters are played by The Players. I know the story in CC is mostly fiction. This is just me having fun <3 Im just saying this because I would argue with myself over this.

but anyway!!! talk about the podcasts below the cut because this shit is LONG (i know you didnt ask for all the lore but i like talking)

Starting with the one that started it all, Ragweed and David have a weekly podcast called The Woodblock (this is one of the few names I'm sure of). It is just general news/guys talking. It got popular fast and good on them. It's become a huge production and most of the audience just shitposts about how they seemingly get divorced every episode. Ragweed's real name isn't Ragweed, but he refuses to tell anyone what his real name is.

Then, when The Woodblock became so successful, and they started BHFM, they acquired 3 other podcasts that were already successful in their own right and gave them increased funding.

First, The Prince (Nicholas) has a podcast which is essentially a painful rehash of alpha-male podcasts. But it did not find it's intended audience... Now it's essentially got the worlds queerest audience that just makes fun of him, but he does not notice. People assume it's a parody. It was originally just him, until he bullied Tadius into being his cohost but that's a story for another day

Then, Ella has an audience helpline podcast where she just answers questions and does general self-help/wellbeing content. We love a girl working through her trauma and helping others at the same time. She doesn't have a cohost but occasionally invites Lucy and Justine on, but they don't take things seriously enough. It is her sanctuary, and she wants to keep it as just hers. The last podcast they acquired was The Stepmother's podcast which is just an aggressive drama podcast, tragically the only way I can explain the energy is Frenemies meets Drama Alert, and I hope that gives you an idea of how horrific the energy is. Putrice and Rancilda are frequently their as well.

But when they acquired those 3, they also got handed some spin-off podcasts (which i dont have much to say about):

Rancilda has a daily riddles podcast that she is "hiding" from her stepmother (she isn't, its call "ranciriddles"). She has an audience suggested riddle every week.

Putrice has a more lowkey gossip podcast because she wants to be just like her mother but its way less toxic and tbh it's a good time.

Lucy and Justine have like a fun little sleepover style podcast, they just play games and talk and have a good time. They once did a whole episode reading fanfic about The Prince and Tadius just to fuck with them.

Crumb and Sir Hop-a-Lot (real names Chris and Harold <3) have a motivational/workout podcast, they are just the world's most chaotic duo, no one really understands what their podcast is trying to be.

The Fairy Queen has a daily affirmations podcast that she films at 3am. No one knows her real name. No one knows who she is.

and then lastly, they have a group dnd podcast run by David with the exact plot to Cinderella's Castle. It's a mess.

and that's a basic rundown of all the podcasts. There has been a lot of drama between them all including the aforementioned fanfic beef, the several times Tadius has been locked in a storage cupboard and why the Fairy Queen records at 3am but that's a post for another day.

[francis-writes]

Hiii i hope your day/night is going well.

Can i request literally anything with a protective and possessive Billy Loomis?

If not, then that's totally fine, but I've imprinted on him and I can't take it back.

You were standing in the corner of a room, trying to notice your boyfriend or one of your friends in the crowd. You didn't know whom Stu invited but you didn't know most of these people, and honestly - you weren't convinced that your host knew most of them neither. Party has tired you and you wanted to ask Billy to take you home. Usually you would come back alone, but since some masked man started killing spree in Woodsboro, you preferred to have companion, especially at night. "You're alone?" You heard a voice from behind you. You turned around to see a strange boy leaning against the wall, drink in his hand. "No, I'm with my boyfriend " you were trying to subtly go away and mix in the crowd. From his shaking voice and smell of his breath, you could say that boy wasn't completely sober and you supposed it would be hard to get rid of him. You were right. "What a boyfriend leaves a girl like you alone at party? He doesn't deserve you" he came closer and you stepped back. "He just went to get a drink for me. I think I will go find him" you tried to leave but he grabbed your shoulder and pulled you closer. "Hey!" You protested loudly. A few people looked at you but they quickly turned away their heads. Arguments happened frequently during parties and they got used not to pay attention to them. "I think you look really pretty tonight. Come on, lets find some more private place to talk-" "I don't think my girlfriend wants to talk with you" You turned your head and saw Billy. He grabbed strange guy's arm and pulled it off your shoulder. "Also" he put his arm around your waist "I suppose she doesn't want to spend time with you neither" "Right" you nodded "Billy, can we go? I need to talk with you. In some more private place" you shoot a glance at seemingly irritated man and went away, dragging Billy by his hand. When you entered the first free room (looking for it, you managed to interrupt a few couple's good time), he pulled you to himself and kissed. You missed the touch of his strong warm hands on your body so you were disappointed when he broke the kiss and stepped back. "I'm so sorry I left you, I should be there when he started bothering you-" "Don't worry " you raised your hands, trying to calm Billy down "I'm glad you came but I could deal with that asshole myself. I'm not completely helpless" Billy shrugged. "I know. But I want to protect you" You put your arms around his waist and began kissing his neck. He tilted his head back, losing himself in pleasure. "If you're sorry" you muttered "you can make up for your mistake now".

*** A few days later you were laying on the couch and watching tv without bigger interest. Billy was in the kitchen looking for some snacks. You were going to watch some horror movies he borrowed but suddenly, news catched your attention. "Billy!" You yelled "You won't believe!" "What happened?" "Remember that guy who tried to flirt with me on Stu's party? He was killed yesterday" you were still stressed after seeing the photos of a crime scene. Sure, he was annoying but you didn't think he deserved such fate "Somebody completely gutted him out " "Terrifiyng. I wonder who could do this " Billy turned and went back to the kitchen. He wasn't sure if he could hide his smile from you.

hey, if you enjoy my work, maybe you would like to support me on ko-fi? Only if you can afford this. It would mean a lot to me<3 link is in the pinned post

[invsibl]

hey! i'm super excited to be here and start writing with all of you. you can call me xion (25, she/her). let me introduce my odd little (tall) boy who has a knack for stealing borrowing things. he's a bit grumpy, but also a major goofball. if you want to know more in depth details about jaeyeol, check out my pinned post. if you want to plot with me, just like this post and i'll slide into your dms (respectfully) <3 (we can also plot on dc, just let me know your preference). also, a little heads up, i might be a bit slow with replies since i work a full-time job, but i promise to reply within a week. it just depends on my schedule.

summarized backstory:

yoon jaeyeol grew up as the middle child in a large family, quickly developing middle child syndrome. he always felt like an imposter, as if he didn't quite belong. though his parents loved all their children, jaeyeol often felt invisible to them.

being a quiet kid only made him fade more into the background, harming his self-image. it was as if he didn't even exist. when his main ability eventually manifested, jaeyeol took it as a sign that he was meant to stay unseen.

though jaeyeol wanted to be noticed by his family, he eventually grew accustomed to being invisible and used his ability to his advantage, hiding from his family whenever he wanted to be alone.

most of the time, they were embarrassing and unbearable to be around, so coming home late or staying invisible in his room became the norm.

the moment he turned 18, jaeyeol moved out without telling his family where he was going. they keep trying to locate him, but he never allows them to get close. he calls them occasionally, but only on special occasions like their birthdays.

he hasn't seen his family face-to-face since he moved out, and he doesn't plan on changing that anytime soon.

a bit more info about jaeyeol:

jaeyeol prefers to go by his alias, zed. it's a nickname he gave himself when he was trying to become part of the aeternals. even after being rejected, he decided to keep the name and now uses it at work as a news journalist.

he works at the herald, often roaming around town to report on odd stories, many of which he doubts are even worth reporting.

his neighbors frequently complain about their stuff going missing, unaware that jaeyeol lives by the rule: finders keepers.

jaeyeol's main ability is invisibility, complemented by his minor ability of mimicry. both powers have made him feel lost and out of place. he struggles with his self-image and self-worth, constantly questioning who he truly is.

oddly enough, jaeyeol has a peculiar obsession with the bakery next door. he's a regular and eats there every single day. if he doesn't get his favorite bread daily, he becomes grumpy and takes it out on his peers.

he's an introvert who prefers to stay unseen, finding it easier to be alone than to deal with other people and their issues. unfortunately for him, others interpret his silence as an invitation to overshare and talk nonstop around him, but he hasn't made any effort to change this narrative either.

some vague plot ideas:

co-workers who: get along or don't get along. have to work on a major project together but fail miserably.

neighbors who: can't stand each other or get along really well.

friends who: are inseparable or only hang out from time to time, but are still really close with each other.

let's put their abilities to use: either your muse's abilities can be tested out on jaeyeol or he can annoy your muse with going invisible or turning himself into them.

[vibratingskull]

Imperial secrets

Part1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Tags : mention of cheating, reconciliation

FemaleReader x Thrawn

You decide to take matters in your own hands and discuss your fiance with someone who might know him for longer times

You wait at the dinner, hiding under your hoodie and some sunglasses. You twirl your straw in your drink, awaiting. You side eye the dinner, you know some of your friends come and work here, you’d rather not be seen. But that’s where she chose to see you. You sigh and slouch in your seat, is it reasonable? You wonder. You don’t know what Arzel said to them, but all your friends stopped talking and texting you for some day now. You didn’t realize you would lose so much by getting on his bad side…

"Lieutenant commander (y/l/n)?" A woman appears at your side, in a black trench coat complimenting her black hair and green eyes. 

You rise up in a jump. 

"Yes! It's me, Captain Hugtan." 

She sat down in front of you, without removing her coat. She looks at you with piercing inquisitive eyes. You always thought she was beautiful, she is even more that close. She could still model for the Empire posters, like before. Your cheeks fluster as your old crush comes acting up again.

"So?" She ask impatiently 

"Yes. I wanted to ask you about Nather Satlove."

She looks ultimately uninterested. 

"And what do you want to know about him ?" 

"You frequent him for longer than me, has he ever appeared… strange to you?" 

"When was he never strange? He's a whole circus by himself." she snarls. Maybe their relationship is not as good as you first thought. "He always has been a self centered prick and if I'm judging by the latest news I heard about him, he didn't change."

You lower your head a little, that sounds like your man. 

"Well" You start. "I'm sure he has some qualities…" 

"Oh, he does! I have an immense respect for his work methods, that doesn't help the fact that he's insufferable."

You pout.

"Okay, has there been a period where he has been especially… Insufferable ?" 

She takes a ciggie out of her pocket, lights it up and takes a deep puff of it. You cough because of the smoke but she doesn't stop. 

"Well, you realize I can't disclose information about a respected Governor of the Empire to you like that."

"I'm his fiance" You retorted. 

She looks at you dubious. You decide to show her some pics of Arzel and you together. You're a bit annoyed having to display your private life like that, but you swallow your pride. She looks at them with a raised eyebrow, and gives you back your community with a grin.

“I see every taste is in nature…”

“We’ll talk about my taste another time.” You respond, losing patience “What can you tell me about him?”

She stares into space for a moment, surely gathering her memories. 

“We did our study together at the Academy, even though I was two years ahead of him. As far as I can remember he has always as been a free spirit, with a talent to gather people around him. He regularly spoke about the treatment of the aliens, which had the effect of enraging the teachers and some students. But what can I say? A solar personality and an influential family can melt any ice, and he was popular, except for one other thing…” She takes another puff of her cig. “He was a fucking classist.”

You look at her in surprise. You already knew he had a military education and he used to go to the Academy, but you didn’t suspect this aspect of him. You let her continue.

“Despite being his elder I was a victim of his scorn and disdain because I came from the working class, with other students. He finally showed some respect when some of us graduated.” She pouts.

You don’t feel rancor in her speech, only a profound lassitude. You sip on your drink, all ears.

“For him we didn’t have our place in this elite space and only the ones overcoming the odds deserved his respect.”

Now that you think of it, he never lingered too much in your former neighborhood and speaks to a restricted number of people in church.

“We lost sight of each other when his family “introduced“ him officially to this weird church…” She continues.

“His family?” You're surprised, a bit disappointed even “He never speaks to me of his family…”

She tuts, clearly unsympathetic.

“Well they're all in this weird cult. It’s a family thing apparently, if I remember correctly it’s one of his grandmas that started it with some other illuminated priests.”

“Belegs.” You correct her with anger lingering in the tone.

She squints at you and sneers.

“Of course, you’re part of it.”

“You have a problem with that maybe?”

“No, absolutely not. It’s just another proof that birds of a feather flock together.”

You breathe deeply through your nose. Keep calm, you think, she’s a superior…

“Either way, it appears he selectively chooses his friends after that, and would you look at that : they all come from his circle, except for those who overcame the odds, with whom he looks like he has a weird adoration thing.” She takes a puff.

You keep silent, digesting what you just heard. She looks at you with what you think is pity melt with amusement.

“Oh don’t be sour, if he didn’t tell you about all that it’s because he thought you weren’t ready.”

You snarl at that comment, you hope it’s not that.

“That, or he doesn’t actually trust you…”

Your eyes widen, Eli’s kiss flashing in your mind. You quickly chase this thought, don’t think about it…

“Say, it’s not that I’m bored but I hope you didn’t bother me just for heart reasons.” She throws.

“In fact not.” You respond, straightening your back and with a hard gaze. “Tell me everything you know about the Rear Admiral Marttilf…”

________________________________________________________________

You're curled up over yourself, completely entranced by your screen. It's the only light in your chamber, reflecting on your face and walls. You corroborate all the data you have with the new ones recently obtained, and more importantly the ones about Martlif.

The Empire is losing slaves, or assets as Thrawn would have said. Either way, the Empire is losing precious resources and you’re sure Martlifs is part of that problem, accomplice of those pirates that you chased after for so long and the underworld of Tyrahnn. 

You compile everything on a data card and decide to head toward the ISB. You take your airspeeder and fly at full speed on the streets of Coruscant, your mind wandering just as quick. The recent events shined a light on some truths about your situation and yourself. Losing Azrel is losing his love, your friend group, your home, your moral support, stability… And it is too much at once. Your whole life would be in ruins, so you had to take the next logical step : presenting excuses.

You stop in front of his office, looking at the window pensively, ready to forgive him all of his slips for a better life. You take a big breath and get in, you have to act like a proper adult from now on you decide, being the bigger person…

As you walk in the hallway you see someone leaving Azrel’s office, someone you didn’t expect.

“Eli…” You say in a breath.

He sees you and his whole face brightens, he embraces you with joy.

“(y/n)! What an unexpected pleasure to meet you!” He laughs “What are you doing here?”

You gulp, all your defenses going down in front of that smile. How can you be mad at that face? You feel yourself melt in front of him, and your heart drops in your stomach. You don’t want to hate him.

“I came to see Azrel.”

“Who?”

“Nather.”

He nods comprehensively. After all that time, anger led to acceptance and confusion. You’re not even sure of what you saw anymore, there was so much steam and they were away from you. After replaying this scene in your mind so many times, the memory got corrupted. Beside you have no proof of what you saw, all you have is some foggy memories of a moment of vulnerability. 

"I thought you were on duty." You manage to say. 

"We'll depart in one month, the Chimaera is in repairs. I just wanted to chat a bit with Nather."

Your heart pinches, you want to believe him, you want to believe Azrel. You want to believe a future is possible for all of you. 

Eli looks at you with tenderness. 

"I'm gonna be honest, at first I didn't like him all that much. But talking to him and his political views, I came to appreciate him." He ruffles his hair with a chuckle, like he didn't want to vex you. 

You nod with a faint smile. 

"Yes, he really feels strongly about some subjects…”

He put his hand on your shoulder.

“He’s a good man. Strange, but fine.” He hits your shoulder lightly and bids you farewell.

Hand on the door handle you look at Eli walking away in the hallway. You shake your head, take a deep breath and enter.

“Azrel?” You ask, passing just your head through the door.

You see him raising his head from his screen at the mention of his name. He recognizes you and raises an eyebrow.

“(Y/n)...” 

You pout. (Y/n) not Roween. He opens his fan in a clac that resonates and hides his face behind it, letting only his eyes visible. You approach with little steps, trying to put a front.

“I came to see how you are since the last two weeks…” You start.

“Good.” He retorts shortly, his eyes following you walking inside his office.

“Good, good.” You pout, licking your teeth trying to continue the conversation.

He slouches on his chair, crossing his legs on his desk, waiting for you to state your true intention.

“I…” You stop and look at the beautiful sunny day through the transparisteel wall behind him, taking inspiration from nature.``I also wanted to present my excuses for what happened last time, I shouldn’t have sold short our principles for a simple date night with a friend, a friend you judge improper for our cause. I just wanted to reassure you that I still firmly believe in it and that I will do what you all judge necessary for it to advance.”

He stares at you in silence. You release a deep breath trying to stay calm in this agonizing moment. Finally he stands up, lowering his fan and shakes his head.

“No. It’s me who should present to you my excuses. I judged harshly someone who thinks differently than me, someone you hold in high regard. I shouldn’t have done that, and I wanna say I am sorry.” He looks at you with a small, pained smile.

You didn’t expect him to say that. You’re pleasantly surprised and taken aback at the same time, you don’t know what to say at first.

“Oh, well… I forgive you.” you whisper.

“So I took the liberty to speak to him.” He continues in a joyful tone that takes you off guard.”Him and his aid. Fascinating duo, those two! They will surely go far!”

“Huh… Yes?” Your eyes open wide at his speechify cheerfulness.

“Besides, that’s not because they aren’t part of the church that they can’t help. Take the Admiral, only by succeeding as he does in his career he contradicts all those pesky cliches about aliens, and therefore helps us in a way!” He walks beside you, with grand theatrical gestures “Really a fascinating man, I understand now why you hold him in such high regard. His aid too, really intelligent. He just told me ten minutes ago that he envisioned himself as a supply officer at first. Can you imagine? What a waste of his talents!”

Hearing him complimenting Eli makes your heart pinches once again and the kiss flashes in your mind. You hug yourself.

“You seem like you appreciate him really much…”

“I do. He’s even interested in the church and what we believe! It would be marvelous if we three could all go to the temple together at some point!”

“Surely…”

“But like you, his career takes all his time. It’s a good thing that this Thrawn is your superior after all, his aura and his victories could shine upon you and propel your career!”

You grimace at that and the word of Hugtan comes to your mind.

“Say, it’s not the first time you speak about propelling my career. You already talked about it at the Opera back then. Are you…” You gulp, is it why he looks interested in Eli? “Are you ashamed of me, in some way?”

He stops in his movement and considers you like you just spit in his face.

“What kind of idea is that?” he asks, horrified.

“Nothing. It’s just that it looks like you're dissatisfied with the speed of my career. I know it slowed down tremendously. That I would look bad at your arms just being a low lieutenant commander…”

He almost runs to you and caresses your cheek, forcing you to look at him. You only see a bit of pain and sympathy in his eyes.

“Do I need a reason to use my influence to positively push the career of the woman who shares my life? Especially if she deserves it?”

You pout, feeling a bit bad now.

“Probably not.”

He looks at you with a light smile and strokes your cheeks with his thumb.

“All is forgiven?” he inquires full of hope.

“All is forgiven.” You nod.

You embrace each other and you sigh of contempt that everything is back in place. But deep down, buried deep in your mind a light flickers in bright red. You snuggle against him, debating if you should ask…

You throw yourself in waters

“Azrel?”

“Hmmmm?” He hums, caressing your hair.

“Do you consider our relationship seriously?”

His hand stops caressing you, remaining at the top of your head.

“Why?” He’s rigid under your touch.

“Did you..” You part with him to look him in the eyes

Did you kiss Eli, is what you want to ask, but you’re at a loss for words. Maybe if you don’t know you could cover it and pretend nothing happened? You try to sound his gaze but you only see confidence.

“Why did you never present your parents to me?”

His shoulders lower. 

“You never even told me one of your family members is part of the founders of the church.”

He pouts.

“Who told you that?”

“It’s not important.”

He sighs.

“Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.” He admits. “I wanted them to see you at the feast I told you about, since it will be a gathering of all the upper crust of the church of all planets.”

“But why not before?”

“They are really busy people that rarely leave Tyrahnn. But I promise you I planned this for a long time.” He kisses your forehead.

This will have to do. 

“Can I steal you for dinner at the restaurant?” He asks, all cheerful.

“I’m sorry but I have to go to the ISB quarter. I have something to give them.”

“Oh!” He raises an eyebrow “What that might be?” He demands with a conspiratory tone.

“If I’m not mistaken, the solution to your pirate problem, around Tyrahn.”  You show him the datacard “But I need an in-depth investigation to gather real proof.”

A smirk slices his face and a light shines in his gaze.

“Would you look at that? Everything works out in my favor today, I secure a deal with an important import company back home, I get you back, and you bring me the solution to my  problem.” He open his hand for you to give him the card. “Give it to me, I will give it after my shift.”

You hand it to him at first, then decide otherwise.

“No, sorry. I will give them now. The sooner, the merrier.” You put back the card in your pocket, his hand keeps open an oddly long second before getting back to his side, his smile disapearing.

You decide to leave but before that, you have a vengeance to execute. A vengeance for those two weeks of solitude and isolation.

“Say, what do you think about giving the church fundraising initiative to the lower neighborhood where the poor need it the most?” You ask innocently.

“Sure, we will give the check to a brother or sister that will lend them it.” He smiles.

“No, I meant giving the check ourselves.” 

His smile remains, but you see his eye twitch. Touche!

“You want us… To go… there?” He demands, incredulous.

You play with his collar with puppy eyes.

“Please. It would be a good action to celebrate us making up.” You coo.

He throws his head back with a sigh.

“Okay, Roween… But that’s because you asked for it.” He reluctantly gave in.

You kiss him on the cheek, smiling and wave him goodbye. You exit the building relieved, but with an unknown bitter taste in your mouth. It’s at this moment that your comlink vibrates, it’s Thrawn. 

“Hello, sir.” You salute gleefully

“Hello, lieutenant commander (y/l/n). I hope I do not bother you.”

“Not at all. What can I do for you?”

“I need you for a service. I would like you to observe Admiral Konstantine and report to me your discoveries.”

You enter your airspeeder and put your hand on the wheel, disturbed.

“You want me to spy him?” You inquire dubious.

“It would prove most useful to me.” 

“I… Can I know why?”

He remains silent for a second.

“I need intel on my different colleagues. I can only ask that to my most trustworthy comrades.”

Those words resonate in the airspeeder. My most trustworthy comrade…

“Alright.” You sigh. “I accept.” A lightning flash in your mind. “Wait, should we really speak about that on our comlinks?”

“I am scrambling the signals, do not worry.”

“Ah.” You lean in your seat. “Do you need anything else?”

Once again he remains silent for a moment.

“I appreciated our evening at the gallery the other night. We should do that more often.”

It feels like your heart beats faster at the mention of the date. He liked it, he wants to see me again, your mind whispers. A chance Azrel gave you his blessing.

“Sure! Whenever you want.”

“Why not next week? There is something I need help with, I could use the presence of a friend. Let us meet at the Chimaera at dockyard seven.” 

You note it 

“Dockyard seven, noted.”

“If I can do something in compensation, let me know.”

“Well… Do you know anyone at the ISB? I need an investigation pronto.”

@bluechiss @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @twilekchiss

[friendlessghoul]

Hi. I know you've already discussed this subject with another anon, so I will understand if you don't want to answer. Why do you think that the end of Coney Island was cut, because it was considered too racist, and the exact same joke made the final cut of Seven Chances?

This is actually something that me and the committee have talked about. At face value I can see why it would look the same. In Coney Island, Arbuckle's reaction is very over the top, although he did make faces as part of his comedy, I can see why they ended up removing it years later. He keeps looking back at her as he's walking off and then runs off in what I'd say is fear. It's more of shock/horror look that he gives. So, it definitely appears racist.

In terms of Seven Chances, he really only wants to marry the girl he loves but feels pressured to due to his business partners and that they will lose money and/or go to jail. So throughout the film he keeps approaching women to marry, at first its ones he knows and then he escalates to anyone. Which leads is into several women (and a manikin head) that he cannot. Firstly, is the underage girl that he did not know was young, due to how she was dressed and acting, looking at first like he doesn't understand what just happened, and then when he does, runs off. She is aware that he needs to marry to inherit a ton of money because she was hiding in the office when they were discussing it. So she dresses up to make herself look older and fools him, until her mother shows up and thrusts a doll in her arms. He obviously wants no part of that.

After that, he tries to speak to a girl that is reading a Hebrew newspaper and doesn't understand what he's saying. Interfaith marriage was looked upon with strong disfavor. (source) The likelihood of that working, extremely slim.

When he approaches the black woman, he is interested as he's seeing her from behind, but when he sees that she is black, he's more annoyed that she's another person that he can't marry. Interracial marriage in the US only became legal in 1967 (source) Loving v. Virginia It’s worth noting that historical opposition to interracial marriage was frequently based on religious principles. The overwhelming majority of white Southern evangelical Christians saw racial segregation, including in marriage, as something divinely instituted from God. (source)

There is a scene where he pays a guy to get in and see who he thinks is a woman performing, but it turns out to be a famous woman impersonator - Julian Eltinge. Which, when he leaves, he appears to have been roughed up. So we can assume he asked not aware of who it was and was attacked. Obviously, this would not be a relationship that would have worked.

And then after that he tries to chat up a manikin in a salon. This man is desperate to get anyone to marry him, but shows how he can't marry just anyone. He shows without having to say anything, that there are restrictions on who he can marry. (though I would say not marrying a child would be a good thing, and him running away shows that he is absolutely not interested. ) So I think there is a big difference in reactions and reasons between Buster's and Roscoes films. This is our interpretation and I hope this helps/clears things up. I of course can always be wrong, if anyone has anything to add or clarify, let me know.

[skaruresonic]

"Lanolin is interesting because even the sonic series needs moments of negativity every now and then"

Somehow I don't consider the equivalent of an overly bossy store manager to be more emotionally moving than when an entire tribe got wiped out by their god

Lanolin doesn't add anything new. She's just annoying.

You know the character is unpleasant when you love kuuderes and assholes and even you don't want to be an apologist for them lol.

Apologies for the Half-Life talk - how people claim Lanolin is disrespected on the basis of gender reminds me of how Judith Mossman is actually sidelined and disrespected on the basis of her gender. Not only within fandom, but within certain parts of canon too.

Mossman is another strait-laced, uppity mom friend character. She, like Lanolin, has few quirks to speak of. The only thing we know about her background is that she lost a job to Gordon Freeman and likely resents him for it even 20 years later.

Few HL players actually like Mossman and care to examine their reasons for why. It's pretty much a reflex for most players to dislike her, often upon the very moment of meeting her for the first time.

While some of this dislike can be chalked up to Mossman deliberately emitting two-faced vibes, it can't all be attributed to just that. Otherwise you'd have people glibly writing "let's pop a cap in Breen's ass" fics as well. Her gender does factor in.

Mossman frequently rubs people the wrong way. If you pressed them on why, they'd probably say it's because she's duplicitous and hides her real emotions behind a fake smile (much like Lanolin's "plastic smile"), but here's where the double standards emerge. While Mossman occupies roughly the same roles as Barney Calhoun and Dr. Breen, neither Breen nor Barney are nearly as maligned as Judith. Which begs questions of why.

Dr. Breen is so two-faced that it's laughable, and he doesn't receive half as much disregard as she does. Probably the difference is that Breen is eloquent and someone you love to hate while you listen to him bluster on about nothing, so we give him a pass.

Honestly, I suspect that the likeliest explanation is that Mossman reminds people of an evil stepmother archetype. Some authority figure who spoils your fun through strict adherence to rules. That one teacher in childhood that used to piss you off by being so uptight. They're not really looking at her so much as whatever mental proxy she stands for.

It doesn't help that she's the "no fun allowed" guy, literally telling Alyx "the zero-point energy field manipulator is not a toy." And since we're inclined to befriend Alyx, we're inclined to dislike whoever she dislikes.

However, there's more to Mossman than simply being an austere traitor who sugarcoats her words. She shows glimpses of vulnerability, of reconciliation with Alyx, and once she stands up to Breen, she's on our side for good.

There's a lot of potential for depth and complexity with her character and her motivations, which makes it unfortunate that fandom seems more interested in writing 10K-word angsty Barney Calhoun character studies instead. Especially since Barney was created just to be some rando.

Coupled with the way Marc Laidlaw practically forced Alyx to stuff her in the fridge in Epistle 3, these are all reasons why I am the biggest Mossman apologist ever. Normally I would be in the camp that's not too hot on her, but her treatment makes me protective in a way that's simply not present in my feelings on Lanolin.

You mean to tell me we're given the choice to mercy-kill Breen, motherfucking Breen, but Alyx lugs a tortured Mossman around, blames her for Eli's death, and unceremoniously pops one between her eyes once she's outlived her usefulness? Nah, Marc, you're too drunk to drive. Give me your keys.

...Anyway. My point is that you can have negative Nancies, but they need to not be so goddamn dour all the time. Unlike Lanolin, you can see bits and pieces of Judith's humanity peek through the hardened crust of insensitive character writing. That alone makes it worth suffering through the fridging and undercooked portrayals.

Lanolin, on the other hand, doesn't really give us any glimpses, if at all, of a personality to offset her unpleasant demeanor. Assholes aren't assholes 24/7, but it's like every time you see her on the page, she's sneering for no real reason.

[manawari]

'Heeseok' headcanons:

When they first met each other, they didn't like each other quite bit. Eun-seok hated that Hee-jin always had that look where she could read someone like a book; Hee-jin hated Eun-seok because of how often he gets under her nerves.

They bicker like a married couple.

Most hunters will be intimidated by Eun-seok because of his powers, but Hee-jin? She can call him out anytime she wants. Hee-jin thinks it's ridiculous that Eun-seok would eletrocute someone quickly as he's not entirely that terrifying for an S-Rank.

Yoon-ho and Byung-gyu are hardcore shippers even when Eun-seok and Hee-jin weren't close at that time.

Eun-seok always finds the height difference between them cute. He'd pull a prank on her by grabbing one of her possessions and then raise it above his head, watching her struggle until Hee-jin kicks him in the shin. Worse case scenario would be if she uses her staff.

Eun-seok and Hee-jin both read their surroundings well and always trust their gut-feelings. If they don't like a certain person, they don't like them thoroughly.

Hee-jin likes how fluffy Eun-seok's hair is and is eager to comb it.

In turn, Eun-seok likes Hee-jin's green eyes. He always refer to them as emeralds.

Hee-jin likes to steal Eun-seok's long scarf sometimes.

black cat x golden retriever!

"Okay, so there was this person who somewhat annoys me—" "Can I electrocute them?" "No!"

Hee-jin loves giving Eun-seok back hugs.

Eun-seok gets easily jealous. No matter how much he hides it, Hee-jin will still know and cuddles him while kissing his forehead, teasing him in the process too that makes Eun-seok flush.

Eun-seok frequently visits Hee-jin in her place. Even in the most inconvenient times.

They love watching the rain together.

Eun-seok makes the most terrible puns ever. For instance, when Hee-jin suddenly feels a faint shock when their hands touched, he'd say "huh, looks like we have sparks. Get it?" — Hee-jin refuses to talk to him for an hour.

Hee-jin doesn't like to be on her toes every time she wants to kiss him, so she just pulls him down by the scarf without informing him. Other times, she'd just grab him whenever or whatever she can.

Hee-jin likes it better when Eun-seok has his hair down, mostly because it's a rare sighting, and she thinks he looks even better without a ponytail.

Eun-seok teases her a lot, but blushes the most whenever Hee-jin does something endearing.

[romanarose]

Hiii, I love your writing :')

Can I request letter E with any of the Moon Boys?

Thanks in advance!

Hello!!!

Ima do all three bc... why not!

E = Emotion (How are they with showing emotion in public versus private?)

Steven is heavy on his emotions, he's never shied away from saying or expressing how he feels. This goes for in public but also with you, alone. He'll tell you if he's had a bad day or if he's particularly happy. He's very in tune with himself, and Marc and Jake. Steven will help with them, not that he just outs how they are feeling, no, Steven wants them to learn how to express themselves. But if you are feeling insecure because Marc doesn't seem happy or if Jake has just shut off, Steven will explain it to you. Only thing he struggle to express is anger, something all the boys have in common, but for different reasons. Steven's isn't that he doesn't feel secure talking to you about it, it's more he's never sure how. He's frequently annoyed or irritated, but he rarely feels genuine, aggressive anger. Last time he let it slip, he'd slapped Marc, something he never wanted to come out towards anyone ever again, especially not you

Marc is a tough nut to crack. Out in public, he tries to stay stoic, but his sarcasm comes out. You know, the eye rolling, the snide comments (never towards you) but he wont easily let his happiness show. Even home alone, he struggles to let out anything other than content. He doesn't ever want to express his anger around you, lest you think it about you. Slowly, he starts to open up more, he'll tell you he loves you and how happy he is with you, even if he struggles to express it. He still hides his anger as best he can. Most he'll show you is annoyance. If he's angry, really angry, he'll go for a run, take a long shower, or do something away from you. He won't ever initiate sex like this, and he won't let you do it, despite telling him it's a good way to blow off steam. Marc refuses, never wanting to touch you in anger.

Jake is a mixed bag. Like Marc, he'd rather walk in the rain than touch you in anger, but the happy emotions he is more than willing to give, in public or in private. Jake doubted his ability to keep you happy, so he always wanted you to know how loved you are, how much he enjoys his days with you. He wants everyone to know that you are HIS, and they can't touch you. Jake also does this to reassure you that he is YOURS. No girls even bother to hit on him when you step away, they know the two of you are tied up in each other. When it comes to sadness, Jake will absolutely not let you see. Even as Marc lets you see him cry, Jake just cannot. Jake doesn't cry, even when he's alone. If he's feeling sad, however, you can tell. The love making is slow, passionate, and quiet. Usually he's all words of praise and dirty talk, but when he's like this? he just makes love to you, gently, softly. Feeling you close to him is all he needs.

Send me a letter and any charater, moon knight or star wars!

And thank you so much for your kind words!!

[karkyss]

OMG, I just looked at a couple of gifs... And it dawned on me!!! In psychology, there is a concept - "psychological defenses" - that is, these are not conscious defenses that our psyche uses to survive any traumatic situations... I just love the topic of defense mechanisms, because thanks to them you can really understand what kind of injuries were in your childhood and how it affects your behavior now. I love this topic because I just had an incredible sight when I went through all the defense mechanisms and analyzed in relation to me.

So I see Derek's behavior as a defense mechanism - reaction formation. Derek uses it a lot with Stiles, especially in seasons 1-3 (although not only with him, but I'm going to focus on those two). What is the purpose of this defense mechanism? This mechanism is literally the epitome of the genre: "love/hate". With this type of defense mechanism, a person replaces some of his emotions with others, OPPOSITE to the original ones. That is, if a person loves, then he begins to show aggressive behavior or hatred (this is demonstrated in order to hide inner interest). This is the very situation when a person does unpleasant, annoying things in order to attract attention to himself, thereby showing his interest and love, through aggression and annoying behavior, etc. because of the fear of rejection (this may reflect falling in love and interest. BUT NOT ALWAYS!!! If someone harms you, this does not mean that he is just in love with you, sometimes harm is a reflection of cruelty and only cruelty).

So, come to think of it, Derek really doesn't want Stiles to touch him? After all, he was literally the first to violate Stiles' personal space by infiltrating him in aggressive ways. Derek clearly has problems expressing emotions (yes, non-verbal monologues and a special "eyebrow language" do not count! The bottom line is that Derek does not talk about his emotional state with others at all, the question of his emotional state is often hidden from others). If you take into account the problems with expressing their feelings, trying to survive everything alone (on their own), frequent (relatively) changing partners and generally changing their place of residence, repeating an unsuccessful relationship script, death of loved ones (obviously, Derek is a traumatized kitten. Although in "Teen Wolf" - everyone is traumatized to one degree or another), and therefore Derkk probably developed an avoidant type of attachment, as a result of which he is afraid, very afraid of falling in love, since the fear of betrayal and rejection, rejection of his personality by those he loves, is basis of his personality. Because he blames himself a lot and considers himself insufficiently capable of protecting others, having a high desire to do so, I think he feels "not good enough, talented and capable enough." And he is probably afraid of making mistakes, but at the same time he often jumps to conclusions and strives to quickly fix the problem (and this is ironic).

I think the more Derek felt affection, gratitude, admiration and a desire to protect, to keep safe (not to forget the wine). In terms of being in love, the warmer and safer he felt with Stiles, the scarier it was to get close to him. Because Stiles becomes unbearably significant, so significant that one no, one rejection, a reaction of disgust, and it reflects the unbearable pain inside Derek, it breaks him. Therefore, with big, sincere and deep feelings comes a great fear of being in these relationships, feelings, you want to run away, sometimes even literally on a physical level, from the object of love, which Derek did (leaving). So it seems to me that Derek may well have suffered from "unrequited love" for Stiles, but it is unrequited not because he was rejected, but because he was so afraid of rejection that he never admitted his feelings. And I would like more stories where exactly Derek is internally not confident in himself, his strengths and is afraid of being rejected, but outwardly he shows detachment and coldness, because this looks like his usual behavior (at least for me).

Stiles, by the way, during seasons 1-3 was more confident than Derek and remains (relatively) more balanced compared to Derek, despite all the events, he remains true to himself and is still quite confident in his abilities. That's why I like Stiles Stilinski. And Stiles knows that he has the right to make a mistake, he allows himself to be wrong - and this is a healthy moment of acceptance of himself and his own possibilities. I don't really like it when Stiles is portrayed as an insecure teenager, because he's not, he's actually quite confident in himself.

Derek hates Stiles' Jeep? Oh no, definitely not. He hates that Eli steals that Jeep. Because it doesn't let Derek forget his feelings, but he definitely doesn't hate Stiles' Jeep.

P.S. There are a lot of defense mechanisms, and it takes a lot of time to analyze them all in detail for a character, which I don’t have. But you can read articles about defense mechanisms on your own - it's very interesting and it seems to me that they don't talk much about this in psychology, this is basic knowledge, but in the media space it's not so common, and if you have a sufficiently developed reflection skill, it can become interesting experience for you. And yes, of course, I chose a defense mechanism that was in favor of Sterek and could confirm the love format of their relationship. In fact, of course, there was a moment of distrust on Derek's part and his fear of betrayal by others, so he chose an aggressive model of behavior towards a person (but he still violated Stiles' personal space, so the possibility of unconscious attraction cannot be denied). I do not pretend to be reliable, I just like to analyze and come up with theories.

[tiffanylamps]

tiffanylamps got her boyfriend to watch Episode 5 of Beyond Evil with her... here are his reactions (dun, dun)

So, I took notes of his reactions throughout the episode and I will try to relay what we said as best as I can. For context: we watched BE together the first time around, I then went on to rewatch it multiple times, but the boyfriend has only seen it one time (aside from episode 1, which he has seen twice).

He just giggled his way through this scene but didn't make any comments

BF: He's such a piece of shit

BF: He just throws the money on the food 😂😂

Dong Sik scares Jae Yi outside her shop, they converse and then Dong Sik goes inside to talk to Jung Je. BF: And he doesn't even apologise!! [for scaring her]

The BF thinks that Jae Yi's backstory is the saddest in the show. When I asked why, he said: "For her to lose her mum and to be searching for her so frequently. Only for her to be buried behind the shop!" and then went on to say, "Whereas, at least him [Dong Sik], he's still got family. Yeah, they're fucked up and it's tragic. But he still had people around him to support him. Her [Jae Yi], not so much." I then explained that Gil Goo and his wife took Jae Yi in to look after her when her parents died. He nodded and said that he still stands by his opinion. He doesn't fully remember the full ins and outs of Dong Sik's backstory, but I'm not surprised that he finds Jae Yi's story sadder; he has a soft spot for female characters who continue to try, despite their hardships.

*cue me laughing at Joo Won*

*lots of giggling* BF: It's such a camp moment!! Why are they wearing gloves? 😂😂 (Also, Gil Go has a cigarette in his hand... Do we think it's one of Dong Sik's?? Cause I do)

Joo Won: What do you want from me? BF: Your ass

BF during the "This is what the people of Mayang are like" speech: The first time I watched this, I thought that was a threat. But now, I can see that it's actually him [Dong Sik] saying "you know you're one of us, right?"

More giggling

BF:

Dong Sik arrests Lee Chang Jin: *lots more giggling*

During the scene where Dong Sik, Chang Jin, and Joo Won are recounting their version of events at the Munju police station, the BF reeeeeeally enjoyed Heo Sung Tae's performance. He was laughing the whole way through.

Okay... So the scene with Hyuk and HKH.... Hyuk wipes his hands on his thighs and my boyfriend had a big reaction... He immediately sits up and almost shouts (mimicking Hyuk): OH DADDY! OH DADDY! OH DADDY! I start to laugh because I was taken aback, and he pauses the show and rewinds it to show me again, whilst saying: "No, Look! Look at this bottom bitch! Look AT HIM! I didn't remember him annoying me this much. 'Oh daddy, let me be the only son!!'" and then proceeded to question how Park ji Hoon was able to sit with his knees touching without crushing his balls 😂🥴 He finds Hyuk annoying because he's vying for HKH's affection and putting himself in direct competition with Joo Won.

BF: He's hiding his boner (I think he can see - what many of us see - that Hyuk is kind of a brother/step mum to Joo Won 😂)

I was gushing over Ji Hwa and how brilliant she is, basically verbalising my confusion over how Chang Jin managed to snatch her up. BF: Her swagger comes from a lifetime of being fed up with men. She's one disappointment away from saying 'that's it, I'm done' and then, proceeds to pursue women. I laugh at this BF: Oh come on, you must have met men that make you want to dump me because they're such a disappointment that you don't want to date the- Me: The entire species? BF: Yeah, 'species' is correct. Men are a breed of human 😂 A disappointing breed

BF: That's me when you're in the shower 😏😂 BF: Also, maybe Dong Sik likes Ji Hwa- Me: NO. BF: Oh come on, that would be hot: two milfs going at it

BF: He [Joo Won] spends one night in the basement and now it's [jwds] is obvious Ji Hwa: Duty, my ass BF: That's what Joo Won said in the basement 🤭

Ji Hwa: You'll be falling for each other soon. BF: Soon? What do you mean? They already have!!

Later on, Ji Hwa tells Dong Sik to go home and get some rest. BF: And an enema Me: An enema? BF: Yeah, basement business 👀

BF: Ooooh, touchy touchy 👀

Dong Sik leaves Joo Won behind to get a cab home and Joo Won chases after him. BF (speaking as Joo Won): We're going back to the same place. Can we spilt the cab or...?

Joo Won refers to HKH as "the Commissioner" and the BF says, "It's interesting that he changes his wording from 'father' to 'the commissioner'" Me: He's emotionally distancing himself BF: yeah 🥲

Hyuk: Your father may give up on [or something along those lines, I don't fully remember] Joo Won: My father will give up on me? BF: He [Joo Won] says it as if he's saying he [HKH] already has given up on him 🥲

We ended up having a brief conversation about the age gap between Joo Won and Hyuk, and I gave a little background info on how Hyuk came to be Joo Won's tutor

Me: be careful [referring to the journalist], Dong Sik likes younger uppity men. He may just- [try and fuck you] BF: *giggling*

BF: Who works out in a jacket when they're at home? ME: Because Joo Won needs to have a wank [masturbate]. He's not like normal people BF: At the beginning of the scene, it looks like he is [wanking]

(I mean... I kind of see it.... Only Joo Won would masturbate that intensely lol)

BF: Wait a minute!! What's with this hotel setup?? Me: What? BF: The sugar and teas next to this laptop! Me: That's pens BF: No- Me: Seriously, it's a lot of pens BF: Where did he go to get them? Pen island??? 😂

BF: I wouldn't trust him with my cat Me: What? Why? BF: He looks like he fucks cats with his fingers Me: WHAT? BF: Yeah, look at him! He's a cat-fucker Me: You're mean BF: That's why he's in the basement... He's looking for cats to fuck

*cuts to Dong Sik* Me: Is Dong Sik the cat? [as he's the only one in the basement] BF: Meeeeeeeooooow 😏 At the beginning of the scene with Joo Won and Dong Sik in the basement, the boyfriend was just giggling a lot. He was having a grand time watching these two being idiots lol

BF: Oh yeah? Whisper in that ear, baby

Dong Sik talking to Joo Won: Get a grip BF: Of that dick!

^ after this performance (I don't have any better screenshots lol. sorry jin goo!!) BF: This Bitch! [affectionate]. He really steals the scene!

BF:

*End credits* BF: So..... after we've finished Alice in Borderland... do you... maybe... wanna watch episode 9???? 👀 (another episode chosen at random, but it's one of my favourites... so.... I might do another one of these posts lol) Hope y'all found this interesting 😂

[quotemenevervore]

So my clarinet case just fell on my big toe not even 10 minutes ago- my toenail is just barely broken, and the band-aid my mom suggested I put on it is annoying me. Got any good SM tidbits to share? Also, anything you want to know about me? I can even talk about my cats and privately send you pics (I trust you with my identity on here (doesn't even contain irl info of me but I am so protective of it, damn))

-Gremlin Anon

Oh no! Im sorry you got hurt! Im sorry the band-aid is hurting you, but maybe ice/heat and pain meds can help if it’s hurting too much.

Also it’s 100% okay and actually great that you’re protective of your identity! The internet is no joke nowadays, and it’s always better to be safe than sorry. You never know anymore, sadly. As for anything I’d like to know, I don’t really mind! Share whatever you’re comfortable with.

Onto some SM:

Karl will, at some point, become the bigger nommer of the fiancés. Sapnap and Quackity don’t want to make him uncomfortable by storing him, so they usually don’t unless they have full permission and he’s in his right mind (ie not having a panic attack). I’m working on a fic right now where he becomes the storer to comfort his fiancés, which isn’t a first but it’s still rare for Karl to do so. It becomes pretty frequent after that.

Sapnap and Dream get to a point where they’re both more.. instinctual with their games. George doesn’t know about these games, and the fiancés don’t either. Most netherborns have a prey drive, and Dream has the instinct to hide from predators. There’s been one time where Dream egged Sapnap on until he was just about running completely on instincts, only present enough to make sure he didn’t actually hurt Dream. It’s an agreed upon game, but Sapnap feels guilty about it sometimes.

Dream’s tried playing this game with Quackity one on one too, because of the feral boys hide and seek, but Quackity completely broke down after the game was said and done because he had thought he accidentally hurt Dream during it. Which he did nick Dream with his fang by mistake, but all it did was bruise and Dream did not care at all. Sapnap and Dream agree not to let him in on what they’re up to after that incident.

Tommy grows used to being stored as a teasing thing or a game, and thus when he starts getting clingy he tries pulling the stunts he pulls with his usual preds (the fiancés, occasionally Dream, SBI) with Tubbo so he’d get stored. Tubbo’s caught onto the schtick, but at first he was rightly confused. Techno wound up accidentally letting Tubbo in on the truth one day when they were both getting logs from the forest for their wood furnaces/fireplaces. (I ain’t letting that house detail go it’s too nice I wish I had one)

Speaking of Dream and Tommy, they have done games like what Dream and Sapnap do. Tommy doesn’t have instincts, but he likes rough-housing, so they switch off on pred and prey depending on the day. They always start off big so that they can wrestle.

George and Karl start hanging out more after the breakdown, though a lot of the time they both wind up napping. The fiancés tell Karl he’s gotta stop before he becomes another George.

Karl and George have also stored the other before, depending on the situation. A lot of the time it’s for comforting, but sometimes it’s to help the other (I imagine this is when George still has issues swallowing people and Karl’s pretty new to it as well, the timeline is skewed lol)

I… really should make a timeline but it might spoil fics :( ah well, that’s all I got for now! Hope you feel better soon!

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Trauma Masterlist

a thousand bad times (ao3) - Lostideas luke/calum E, 13k

Summary: Then The New Kid lets Calum’s arm go with a push, almost like a warning. Calum has barely taken a breath before the boy runs off again.

or; Calum is out in Montana. Luke is running from himself.

Don't look away till it's gone (ao3) - beendreaminglikeafool T, 5k

Summary: Luke's repressed most things in his life: from feelings and trauma to fears that never seem to fade away.

feels like i’m dreaming but i’m not sleeping (ao3) - badomensbaby luke/calum, michael/ashton E, 29k

Summary: “But saying that out loud is just..” the blonde boy trails off, his voice weakened and unsteady, “Makes me feel kind of pathetic, I guess.” “Pathetic?” Calum parrots, “Therapy isn’t just for people who have issues, Luke. I have patients who just like to tell me about their life because they want to. You have this preconceived notion that therapy is only for broken people.”

or, luke has too many problems but calum doesn’t mind them.

i'm a deer in your headlights (ao3) - mukelftv luke/calum, michael/ashton T, 2k

Summary: luke is overthinking, and he's supposed to go on a date.

in winter you froze, and i thawed you out (ao3) - prettyluke (parting_ways) luke/ashton N/R, 7k

Summary: Luke is crumbling like fresh snow, and Ashton is desperate to keep him together.

Portable Player (ao3) - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton E, 34k

Summary: or, a fic about the realities of the porn industry.

You're my pain killer, when my brain gets bitter (ao3) - lifeinecstasy ot4 T, 1k

Summary: angst angst angst.. but happy ending

you don't have to hide yourself (pretender) (ao3) - lifewasradical luke/ashton T, 3k

Summary: "Right now I’d like to talk about what’s going on in your head, if you would be willing to share it with me.”

The sincerity in Luke’s voice terrifies Ashton, leaving him tongue tied and treading carefully on a tightrope high above the ground. But what exactly is he supposed to say? “Yeah, I’ve been convinced that no one wants to hear me talk since I was a pre-teen?” Or, “I get so passionate about things that I love and that in itself drives people away? Because I’m annoying to listen to? Because no one cares?” None of that sounds all that appealing.

you took what you wanted (ao3) - mukelftv luke/calum T, 1k

Summary: luke shares some intimate details with calum.

You've Cut The Wrong Damn Wire (ao3) - Branithar calum/ashton M, 18k (WIP)

Summary: All through high school, Calum couldn't help but take notice of the lonely kid with the perpetually off-colour uniform and nervous eyes. It isn't until after they've graduated that he starts to wish he'd done more for Luke, like offer him friendship, or sit with him at lunch, or make an effort to have his back. Anything that could make him feel less guilty for what happened.

You Will Be Okay (ao3) - Marauders0exe michael/luke, calum/ashton N/R, 22k

Summary: Maybe you have to fall apart before you can start to recover

Or

Luke goes home with Michael for the holiday, the first one without his parents. The week doesn't go as planned- with Luke's episodes coming back more frequently and Michael's obsessive need for everything to be perfect. The engaged couple are more stressed out than ever, but they both put on brave faces- or so they thought.

[thispabulum-blog]

Time to Take Stock

Thoughtful Thursday

Let's talk about how different it is living with my flirty little beau Cuddlebug as opposed to my previous roommate Dr. Strangelove. A very Goofus and Gallant-flavored post.

I have my own bedroom!

Dr. Strangelove would stay up late and usually wake me up when he came to bed, and then again in the morning with his 5 or 6 full-volume alarms that he'd leave going for minutes at a time because he didn't want to wake up for work.

Cuddlebug sleeps in his own bed (I frequently kick him out of mine), and I usually sleep in my room, where I can't hear his alarms when they go off.

I feel more comfortable, and more respected.

Even when Dr. Strangelove was in the living room playing video games with his headphones on, he had strong feelings about what I was watching on the tv in the bedroom. Usually that it was too loud, or annoying, or stupid, or disturbing. He'd make me turn it down or turn it off.

Cuddlebug can't hear my tv from across the house over his headphones, and even if he comes into my room while I'm watching something, he doesn't complain about it. I don't think he particularly loves Law & Order: SVU and he's pretty neutral on RuPaul's Drag Race, but he doesn't mind any of it. Even when I'm watching my favorite YouTubers that Dr. Strangelove couldn't stand.

It's this weird thing where I didn't realize how much guilt and shame I was feeling about totally normal actions. I'd keep an eye on the clock to time when I thought he'd be getting home from work, and I'd put something else on the tv so I didn't have to deal with his criticisms when he walked in the door. Sometimes I'd even "cover my tracks" by picking a movie to put on and fast-forwarding a while so it wasn't obvious that I'd just started it.

Dr. Strangelove had this weird hang-up where he said he couldn't go to bed if I was still awake, so I always had to go to sleep first or he'd complain. Sometimes I had to go to bed even when I wasn't ready. The rationalization I got from him about why he couldn't go to bed if I was still awake was that he needed some time to himself at night while I was asleep. As if me being in the other room watching tv or playing on my Switch was somehow keeping him from being able to be comfortable, or that he couldn't relax with me around. That's such a slap in the face for someone that you're in a committed relationship with, to tell them basically that you can't be completely comfortable with them conscious in the same house.

Cuddlebug isn't bothered if I stay up late. He usually wants to cuddle for a bit before he goes to bed and maybe have me read to him, and a lot of times I'll stay there until he falls asleep, but then I can go do whatever.

One of the things that I've always said about Cuddlebug is that it never seemed like he was trying to impress me. Like I never got the feeling that he was on his best behavior, or showing me only the good parts of himself. It has always just been him wanting to include me in his life, and being maximally himself every minute.

One of those hard-to-define things with Dr. Strangelove is that there was this unspoken expectation that whenever he was home and awake, I was supposed to be in the living room - and therefore available to him, even though all he was doing was playing PlayStation (usually with headphones on). If I went to spend time alone in the bedroom, unless I was going to bed, he would think/assume something was wrong or I was mad at him. If I was in the office outside of business hours (which is where all my art stuff was), it was like I was hiding or running away, and he'd send me passive-aggressive texts to see how long I was planning on being in there. It was such a short leash to be on.

It was just as important to Cuddlebug as it was to me that we had separate bedrooms, so that we each had our own space. He spends a lot of time in my room, I'm welcome in his room whenever, and I'm sure once we have furniture in the living room we'll feel comfortable hanging out in there, too.

This one has nothing to do with Cuddlebug, but I have lightbulbs that I control through my phone, so I'm able to change the colors and adjust the brightness depending on my mood and activity. It's been phenomenal. Dr. Strangelove always wanted them, but wouldn't buy anything but the Philips Hue bulbs and he wanted a whole home automation system, and we could never afford it. I spent $20 on an off-brand set on Amazon and they work just fine.

Personal Responsibility

When I was working, I'd have to keep one ear open while I was on the phone to make sure I heard Dr. Strangelove getting ready for work in the morning - a process which involved at least one trip outside to smoke, and 30 - 45 minutes in the bathroom - otherwise I'd have to start calling his phone over and over until he woke up. More than once, I had to duck out of my office between calls to physically go and wake him up. He was chronically late to work and was always in trouble for it.

It only takes Cuddlebug 5 minutes or so to get ready for work. Clothes on, comb some water through the hair, grab the keys, and yeet.

It's something I still feel a twinge of occasionally, but most of the time it's a huge relief to not feel like I have to have that level of responsibility for someone else. I know if I'm not here, or I'm asleep, or I'm busy, he's perfectly capable of getting himself up and getting to work.

Dr. Strangelove had a lot of expectations, and he had no problem telling me. A lot of times his first words to me in the morning would be a complaint about something I had or hadn't done. It was my fault he was out of his breakfast bars, or he didn't have his energy drinks, or I let him sleep in too late, or I needed to turn off whatever I was watching on the tv.

I don't have to constantly ask Cuddlebug to do things. He knows that taking out the trash is his chore, and he's an adult and does it without me asking him to, reminding him to, nagging him to. He cleans his bathroom unprompted.

With Cuddlebug, I don't have to feel beholden to him.

The other day he was getting ready for bed and he said to me "I have three jobs for tomorrow: -" and I assumed he was going to tell me three things that he wanted me to do the next day while he was at work, and I braced myself. Instead, he listed off three things that he was planning on doing.

Togetherness

When Dr. Strangelove would come home from work, he just wanted to smoke and get high and be by himself. When he woke up on his off days, he'd smoke and eat his breakfast and then want to play with his LEGO and watch tv (which I was required to be present for, though we would sit separately) for a couple of hours, and then he'd take over the tv to play video games. If I was too energetic or excited talking to him, he'd complain and tell me to calm down and leave him alone. It would be a few hours before I was able to interact with him normally, and I always felt like I was walking on eggshells to not interrupt his sacred routine.

When Cuddlebug comes home from work, he wants to cuddle and eat and then take a nap. It's important to him to get that time with me. When he wakes up on a day off, he immediately wants to cuddle, and then play around on our phones for a while, and then maybe watch something while eating breakfast.

Words can't describe how loved and valued and beautiful I feel every minute of every day. It's such a contrast from the way that I was always uncomfortable when Dr. Strangelove would show any kind of affection, because I was worried that it meant he was going to try to initiate sex. I'm comfortable with my body now, no matter what I'm wearing, and I never feel like I have to hide myself from him or be careful about my actions so I'm not leading him on.

Dr. Strangelove was bad with plans. If I suggested we go out and do something, most of the time he'd just be uninterested. Sometimes he'd say he'd think about it, and then he'd never bring it up again. On the rare occasion that he'd actually agree to do something, more often than not it wouldn't actually happen - he'd oversleep, or forget that he had something else planned, or wake up that day and change his mind. When someone refuses to put any effort into spending time with you, and anything you do together is simply by default, you can feel so taken for granted. It was that, more than almost anything, that made me realize we were only still together because we were too lazy to make the effort to do anything else.

Cuddlebug makes me a priority. He sets aside time for us to spend together, whether it's a day or an evening or just an hour or two. He'll say "I'm gonna play this game until X, and then I'm yours for the rest of the night". Or he'll get excited about planning a date night for the two of us.

This is another one of those things that makes me feel valued. I've talked a lot (maybe not here, I guess) about how one of my favorite things about polyamory and about having separate bedrooms, etc. is that it's so liberating that we get to choose each other repeatedly. I get to make the choice to spend time with him because I like him, and not just because he happens to be around. I get to go out with other cute boys and have fun, and still come home to him because he's my favorite.

Food

Dr. Strangelove would complain if I pulled out something frozen for dinner. Once I learned how to make a dish from scratch, he would complain if I ever did an easier version. No canned chili, no Manwich, no frozen Salisbury steaks, no rotisserie chickens. I wasn't allowed to make anything vegetarian because then he didn't feel like he was getting enough to eat. He would complain or refuse to eat if I tried to make a dish without enough sides/fixins - if I made tacos, we had to have cheese and sour cream and salsa, etc. I couldn't make too many lazy foods, but I also couldn't spend too much on groceries. And of course, famously he never cooked a goddamn thing; it was completely my responsibility to do all of the cooking.

Cuddlebug is content with whatever cheap meals I can pull together, especially while we're saving up right now. He'll eat grilled cheese sandwiches, chili dogs, burgers, and pancakes on rotation every week with a smile. Frequently he will tell me how happy he is that I an always put together such nice meals for us. If he doesn't get enough to eat, he'll make himself a bowl of cereal or something later. He does his cute Pasta Boy things in his giant pasta pot, stirring together his carbonara or his aglio e olio, grating his cheese, settling for Barilla until he can find somewhere around here that sells La Molisana.

It's so much more fun and more rewarding to cook for someone who genuinely appreciates it. And I never say no to pasta!

In 8 years with Dr. Strangelove I never got that experience of relaxing and having someone set down a plate of hot, homemade food in front of me, and I was so resentful of him getting to have that all the time.

A few weeks ago, I got to teach Cuddlebug how to make grilled cheese sandwiches. I teased him heavily, but I gave directions and he did it all by himself, and they turned out really well! I also really enjoy it when we can collaborate and cook a meal together.

Even if he only cooks once or twice a week, it's such a huge weight off my shoulders, and it's so nice to feel provided for.

Dr. Strangelove hated driving, hated having to leave the house. If I didn't want to make dinner, we'd eat out, but only ever delivery. We couldn't go pick something up, and we couldn't go out to a restaurant. It would end up costing twice as much with markups and delivery fees and tip. And most annoyingly to me, it would take three times as long. We'd have to agree on what to eat, place our order (which took at least one trip outside to smoke), wait for it to be delivered, and half the time coordinate with the delivery person when they couldn't find our apartment. Not to mention the frequency of them screwing up our orders, or it just being cold/soggy/gross from the transit time, and it was always up to me to contact customer service and request a refund.

Cuddlebug likes to go out to a restaurant once or twice a week, and he's not opposed to a cheeky fast food run. He's quick to pick out what he wants, loves a coupon, and in the entire time that we've been together I've never seen him get food delivered; he says he'd rather put that money toward more food.

Because I don't drive, I don't get out of the house much. Going out to restaurants is sometimes the only chance I'll get in a week to get dressed up and go do something. And it's nice when the occasional trip to Burger King costs $25 instead of $45.

Dr. Strangelove wouldn't eat leftovers, or anything for dinner that wasn't a Full Mealtm.

If Cuddlebug isn't super hungry for dinner he'll throw together a meal with whatever he can find - leftovers, cereal, popcorn, a banana. On more than one occasion I've seen him put a leftover waffle in the refrigerator uncovered and eat it more than a day later.

I have this tendency as well. Sometimes I'm feeling lazy and I just want to have some ramen or a can of soup or a bagged salad for dinner instead of having to do a whole thing.

Socializing

Cuddlebug won't shut the fuck up to or about his friends. His Discord is constantly buzzing with group chats and one-on-one conversations with all his closest people. He invites everyone over to our apartment frequently, or out to eat with us, or to go to the movies. We intend to have a weekly Game Night/Poker Night once things are set up, and my friends are just as welcome as his. He loves being social and having people around. He gets excited on my behalf when I tell him that I have plans with people.

Dr. Strangelove wasn't great at keeping up with his friends. In the entire time that we were together, he only ever had one friend come over to our house. I don't think he communicated with any of his other friends regularly. He'd maybe remember to text them Happy birthday or something, but there wasn't anyone that he kept up with on a daily basis.

The other side of this coin is that he didn't like me having my friends over, either. I couldn't have anyone else in the house because it would make him uncomfortable and he didn't feel like he could be himself. He didn't want anyone over on days that he worked, because he was tired from work and just wanted to relax. But he also didn't want anyone over on his days off, because that was His Time. I could never have my friends over for dinner, or to play games, or watch movies, or anything, because he took it as an invasion of his personal space.

It's a huge weight off my shoulders to not have to be solely responsible for all of someone's social and emotional needs. If I don't feel well, I know he's still able to interact with other people. He has friends who will call him out on his bullshit when he needs it. And when my friends want to come over to hang out, or if they come to visit, I have no hesitation about letting them! It's such a nice feeling.

If there's anything that's clear about Dr. Strangelove, it's that he was super insecure. He didn't want me dating anyone else, hated the idea of me being around anyone I'd been romantically involved with, complained about how he didn't like my friends or me spending time with them, and made it impossible for me to see my family. In toxic relationships, this generally happens because they don't want you to be around anyone who might be able to either A) treat you better, or 2) point out that you're not being treated well.

Cuddlebug and I have a relationship based on openness, trust, and communication. He understands that me spending time with other people and dating other people doesn't mean that I love him any less, or that I'm going to leave him. When something comes up that either of us is uncomfortable with, we're able to discuss it in a mature way and work through it.

I feel so much more authentically myself when I'm not afraid of bringing up any issues, and when I can interact with other people in whatever way makes sense and I'm not worried about someone's reaction.

My point is, I got a major upgrade.

See you next week!