#so pm is going to bully her into it because being nice wasn't working (he tried)

[fortune-maiden]

85. "I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”

tgcf, pm or swd to ling wen

Thank you <33

....I think this should have been a more hurt/comfort prompt, but with only 100 words it just became hurt, I'm sorry ;w;

Pei Ming is back again today with new grumbles and demands. So much to be done, all at once, only by her. These days, Ling Wen can barely lift her head. She can barely hear her retort. “And?” There’s a rare edge in his voice. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.” Pei Ming knows how to fight. To take away the firewood she needs to stay warm. Day by day he’ll wear her down, getting more outrageous until she finally caves, willingly or forcefully. Ling Wen knows this. Really. But she hates to lose.

I love lw but i also do think she has trapped herself in a vicious cycle of self sabotage

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

[youalexturnermeon]

Warm Beer and Cold Women Pt.3 (Johnny Lawrence x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Request: Hi! I absolutely love your work and I was wondering if I could get a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine where the reader is a bartender and starts crushing on him since he’s a regular and he flirts with her all the time and she pretends to hate it but she actually loves it? by Anon

A/N: Before you read you should know that I adjusted the timeline a little, all mistakes in the timeline that you are noticing are on purpose. Also I decided to let johnny keep his black Cobra Kai car in that one. Then I’m perfectly aware of the fact that I lowkey drifted away from the actual request but don’t worry, I’m coming back to that. It’s the second last part to this little series. Enjoy.

Warnings: badass reader, drinking, DUI, swearing, ANGST, a little fluff

Wordcount: 2650

"Jesus Christ, (Y/N), thank god you're finally here!" was the first thing you heard from Jenny as soon as you set foot into the bar for yet another late shift on a boring Thursday night.

"We've been waiting for you for hours!" Jenny said and grabbed your arm dragging you further inside. You were staggered, "What the fuck, Jen, I'm not even late, I know I was yesterday but I'm perfectly on time today! Look," you pointed towards a clock on the wall "8 pm sharp."

"Jesus, don't you ever check your phone?" she went on ignoring you. And as a matter of fact, you didn't. You trashed it a couple of days ago as a result of a drunk rage after another shift without your favourite regular. That's why you've been borrowing your colleague’s phone to call yourself an Uber home. But that was still not helping you understand why you were needed so much. Apparently, the bar was waiting for your arrival since the opening at last. In the distance, behind the almost empty counter you saw the staff door opening and Kenny making his way to you in a quick pace.

"She's is here!" Jenny called out to him as if he wasn't able to see that for himself.

"Finally."

"What the fuck?" you asked again, trying to think of all the things you could've done wrong in the past weeks, but you couldn't find any. You never messed up a drink, you always locked the doors, you even cleaned the puke in the men's bathroom. "Am I in trouble?"

Kenny shook his head, you looked at him quizzically.

"It's about your boyfriend," Jenny helped him out answering. You almost blurted out 'He's not my boyfriend' as it was already on the tip of your tongue because you were so deeply conditioned to say that. But when your glance skipped over the almost empty seats by the counter again, your heart suddenly skipped a beat and when it was back at keeping you alive it started beating so hard against your ribs as if it was about to burst. Johnny was back.

"He's been here since we opened at 5," Kenny said, sounding a little annoyed "He's drunk off his ass, came in drunk already, and refuses to leave until he sees you. We tried to throw him out but he's one persistent motherfucker and lowkey aggressive, muttering your name saying he needs to talk to you and nobody else."

"Yeah, maybe you should go and talk to him" Jenny affirmed. But you were already on your way. Without a word you almost stormed over.

At first you wouldn't have noticed him. He didn't look like himself, sitting there on his regular seat at the end, head hanging, covered by his hands. He looked rough.

The two weeks he didn't show himself, you almost started hating him. You thought him to be like any other man on earth who, after they broke you, finally got you to get soft towards them, waking your interest after hundreds of times trying, just disappeared without a trace. First you were blaming yourself, asking yourself if you went too far with your little game of pretend, whilst still waiting every day for him.  Had it been too much for him saving you the other day and getting his face bashed in for you? You wished he'd come and tell you what a bitch he thought you were to your face. Then you despised him for giving you up so quickly. But as soon as you laid eyes on him all these negative thoughts disappeared, and you were just concerned. Concerned about his condition, only the question inside your head how on earth you, a simple barkeeper, were able to help him with that. You grabbed a bottle of whisky and simply headed to the other side of the counter, not standing in front but sitting next to him this time. The worst about it, he didn't even take notice of you at first.

"Johnny," you said softly placing a hand on his arm. Like being electrocuted by this touch, he winced but finally looked up. You almost gasped at his appearance. Normally he was always clean shaven, now he looked like hadn't shaved in days. Besides that, he was also hurt. At first you thought his injuries might still be from his encounter with the three men that were bothering you, but the scratches and bruises were fresh, and a band aid was sticking to his forehead that wasn't needed before. Johnny blankly stared at you from his bloodshot eyes and you suddenly felt the urge to hug him. But you resisted, first you had to get him to talk. Instead, you grabbed two of the glasses in front of Johnny uncorked the bottle of whisky and poured you one. You took a sip of the burning liquid hoping for some courage to miraculously appear as you watched Johnny silently drinking, too.

Kenny walked by on the way back to his office, judgingly eyeing you.

"Damn, I have to start taking all the booze you're drinking here from your paycheck, (Y/N), slow the fuck down, would you?" he said sighing with one foot already inside. Out of a sudden Johnny snapped.

"Jesus Kenny, don't wet your precious leather pants," he shouted out, slamming his glass on the counter "I'm gonna pay for it! Let a girl enjoy her drink for once" Some heads turned in your direction.

You held still for a second and didn't dare to breathe, afraid of another fight to happen since normally Kenny didn't allow anybody talk to him like that. But he simply shook his head and closed the door behind him, muttering something like "This girl actually has to work here, but whatever" leaving you alone with Johnny.

"You look hot, as always," he said trying to smile, yet the smile didn't reach his sad eyes. He almost looked like he's been crying.

"And you look like shit."

"You mean that?" he gestured at his face noticing your gaze upon his massive black eye. You nodded.

"That's nothing."

"What happened, Johnny?" you asked but he did not answer and just kept on sitting in silence, sipping his drink from time to time. Then, after what seemed like forever, he finally looked you straight in the eyes.

"I fucked up, (Y/N), that's what happened, I fucked up big time."

"Tell me!"

"As if you give two shits about it, you probably wouldn't care. You fucking despise me and my sorry ass."

"I do care!"

“Nah, you wouldn’t!”

You sprung off your seat, you did not expect that coming out of his mouth, also it hurt to hear him say that, because you really did care about him! You probably cared about him more than anything in your life at the moment. But if he was going to be a bitch to you so were you.

“Well, don’t waste my fucking time then!” you exclaimed “And stop annoying everyone that you need to see talk to me instead of fucking off. I can gladly leave you all by yourself so you can keep on pitying yourself. Nice seeing you, jerk!”

And you were about to storm off, go back to pretending to work just like you did every other day when there was nothing else to do, when you instantly heard a “(Y/N), wait!”

You turned around and saw Johnny, now more miserable than ever, showing at your seat inviting you to sit back down. You swallowed your pride and did so.

“I’m sorry,” he said “I just can’t believe that someone would actually give a shit about me at all. And I did want to talk to you, I still do. You’re the only one I want to see right now.” “Then tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s this kid,” he started sighed and stopped, then took another sip of his whisky and began again “I have a dojo in a strip mall, I’m a sensei,” “What’s that?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself and you felt stupid. Johnny looked at you, completely staggered, forgetting his pain for a moment. Proving you that it was in fact a probably very stupid question.

“It’s a Karate place, I teach Karate there.”

“Go on.”

“I have a shit ton of nerds that I teach but they’re mostly good kids, they got bullied a lot before, but I helped them, I showed them how to kick ass, so no one dares to fuck with them anymore. There’s this one kid, Miguel, I’ve been teaching him since the beginning, he actually gave me the idea to open a dojo, he begged me to and he’s a great kid, he really grew on me. He lives next door with his mom and grandma, they’re great people, Mexicans. I even learned a bit of Spanish from them. And I’ve been hanging out a lot with him lately. I really, really liked him.”

He rubbed his eyes and stopped talking.

“What do you mean you liked him?” you asked carefully and studied Johnny’s face that he covered with his hands again.

“There’s more to the story. There’s another dojo in town, fucking Miyagi-Do. Of course, you can’t expect only one dojo to be there in L.A but how I wish that at least that one wouldn’t exist. The sensei is a twat. I fucking hate this guy. And his kids started fighting with my kids at school and not like throwing some punches at each other and leaving it be after somebody starts crying. No, they started a fucking Karate War at school. I mean, I get it, when I was their age I also took Karate way too seriously but letting it go this far? I don’t know, I can’t really understand that. It got out of hand real quick two weeks ago.”

“Fuck, did something bad happen?” you wondered and poured yourself and Johnny another whisky.

He nodded and stared into the distance. You waited for him to answer.

“There was a fight two weeks ago and apparently it got really bad. Miguel got kicked off a balcony at school, he fell two stories deep, spine-first onto a handrail.” You gasped. You school also had problems with fighting, a lot to be precise but as far as you knew, no one got kicked off from somewhere.

“He’s been in a coma now for two weeks and they say that the chances of waking up from a coma after two weeks are pretty miserable. He might as well be dead by now.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” you said although not knowing shit about coma, you just wanted t comfort Johnny. You could not stand seeing him so broken you even wished he would go back to his old nature again, hitting on you, joking and just having a good time “He’s probably going to wake up soon and go back to Karate again.��  

“You don’t know that!” Johnny said raising his voice, “He broke his fucking spine, (Y/N), even if he wakes up, he’s probably going to be crippled for his whole life.”

He took a deep breath and drank his whisky at once, grunting at the burning feeling in his throat.

“And now my own kid is in fucking juvie for kicking Miguel of a railing and he won’t even talk to me!”

“Wait, you have a kid?” you wondered and stared at Johnny wide-eyed, not knowing what else to say, this was surely a surprise for you. And Johnny went on with his rant.

“Yeah, Robby, he’s 17. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s locked up, doesn’t want to hear a word from me, but that’s okay,” his voice was cynical, you could hear how much despised himself right in the moment and it was painful to see.

“I’ve been a shit father anyways, right? Every single day of his life I’ve been failing him. I wasn’t around much. I did nothing to keep him out of trouble. If so, I only made it worse, I only pushed him to train with Miyagi-Do and what happened to Miguel is all on me.” Despite calming himself down with a drink, Johnny’s voice got louder with every word he spoke. Again, heads were turning towards you, but you didn’t care.

“It’s not your fault what happened,” you said calmly and placed a hand on his shoulder, he was so tensed that you might as well have been touching a stone. And Johnny shook your hand of and let out a hateful laugh.

“Not my fault?” he shouted his lungs out “Who else’s fault is it then? Of course, it is mine. It is all on me, I fucked up. I fucked up both Robby’s and Miguel’s lives and on top of that mine’s not that great either. I spent the night in a fucking cell.”

“Calm down, Johnny,” you said softly and finally went in for a hug “It’s going to be okay; I promise!”

“No, it’s not!” he yelled as you wrapped your arms around him tightly pressing yourself against his trembling chest. At first, he let his arms sink and didn’t do anything, he kept on shouting, making even more heads turn towards all the noise, but then suddenly he buried his scrubby face into crook of your neck and sighed, finally placing his hands on your back, finally relaxing, firmly embracing you. You could’ve stayed like that for ever.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get him out of here!”, you suddenly heard Kenny who stood there, arms crossed, watching you, “He’s scaring off the people.”

You released Johnny from your hold who went back to staring down the counter whilst burying his face in his rough hands, just the way you have found him.

“Yeah, alright, I’ll bring him home.”

“Yeah, sure, feel free to come back to work whenever you’re ready, no rush. Or maybe you want to do home office instead?” said Kenny sarcastically and you rolled your eyes.

“C’mon Kenny, I can’t let him go home like this alone, he’ll kill himself on the way. Besides, he’s probably the reason this place still hasn’t gone bankrupt. And I’m the reason he keeps coming, so maybe we owe him that?”

The big biker in front of you didn’t look too happy but he knew you were right, still, he wasn’t that easy to convince.

“Come on,” you said putting on your best puppy eyes, trying to look all cute because you knew the old man liked you deep inside “I’ll do double shift tomorrow, I promise. But just please let me go.”

Kenny stood motionless.

“Please?”

“Alright, alright, I’ll cover for you. But if you don’t come in early tomorrow…” “I know, I know, you’ll fire me” you finished his sentence and smiled at him.

Then you nudged Johnny who was not getting any of the conversation you just had and told him about your plan about getting him home. He stood up and he clearly wasn’t very strong on his feet. He was swaying from side to side on the way out.

“Okay, give me your keys, Johnny,” you said when you arrived at his black dodge. Normally you would have made fun of the yellow stripes and snakes all over, but you weren’t in the mood for it.

“I think I remember you telling me that you don’t have a license anymore and that you’re not willing to get involved into DUIs anymore.” And yet he submissively handed you over his car keys. You shrugged and got in the car, waiting for him to take the shotgun seat.

“I guess we all have to make exceptions sometimes. Now concentrate and lead me the way.”

“Thank you” Johnny said, his voice now all raspy and he suddenly looked tired “Now you are saving my ass.”

**************************************************************************************

PART 4

Already working on part 4 whether you like it or not, I’m too invested in that one

Sorry to all waiting for their requests to be written, I’ll soon be on it

Thanks for reading!

Taglist: @lililolli​ (you want to be on the taglist, too? drop me a message)

[shimosu]

Extra headcanons of this and this

~~~

Urokodaki couldn't leave you home alone when he got the message about them because you were still a kid who wasn't even ten yet

And it was dark out when he went to find them

You went with him

Even though you were being taught the Water Style, you still froze up at the sight of new people

After the boy(Tanjiro) and his sister (Nezuko) came and became part of your life, you would watch Tanjiro train, but were shy around him, so you just kept quiet and didn't take off the kitsune mask that Urokodaki made for you

You kept watching him though

It took him less than a day to see your face

You fell asleep. Urokodaki didn't want you sleeping with a mask on, so he took it off. You didn't care when you woke up from it, and went back to sleep because you forgot about the two

Then Tanjiro comes back and sees your face while you're sleeping

Tanjiro: They're actually.. really young.

When Tanjiro meets Sabito and Makomo, he doesn't know they're your "Okaa-chan" and "Nee-chan"

Then he tells you about the two in the forest and you're like, "You met my Nee-chan and Okaa-chan!"

You: You met my Nee-chan and Okaa-chan!

Tanjiro: ... Okaa-chan? Do you mean that Makomo is your Kaa-chan, and Sabito is your Nii-san?

You: No..? Orange hair is definitely my Okaa!

He's so confused on how Sabito is your "Okaa-chan" you talked so much about

Kind? Gentle? Couldn't hurt a fly? Teaches you a lot of things? So far, all he's gotten was a beating, beatings, getting yelled at, and more beatings

Makes sense for Makomo though. Teaching how to make flower crowns, super nice and cute, and a pretty smile. All lines up.

You're confused, though, on why Sabito won't take off his mask around Tanjiro

But you didn't tell him to take it off. You didn't want to remove yours around Tanjiro when you just met him.

The next time Tanjiro saw them after that, Sabito was wearing a flower necklace and Makomo wasn't there

Turns out while that was happening, you were in the forest with Makomo and looking for insects

He later saw Makomo with you sleeping on her back as she carried you back

He experienced, and realized, that Sabito was overprotective of you

And Sabito didn't seem to mind being called Okaa-chan. Or even Okaa and Kaa, which was when you got excited. He seemed to actually accept it.

Sabito: Go to Nee-chan, (Reader). Kaa-chan needs to teach Tanjiro how to fight.

You, holding Makomo's hand: Okay! Bye bye, Tanjiro! See you later!

Weird enough for Tanjiro, because of when he first met Sabito, who beat him while yelling about being a man

Yes, Sabito once tried getting you to call him "Nii-san" too. It didn't work.

He experienced the overprotectiveness when you held Tanjiro's hand and Sabito appeared out of nowhere and beat him up till he was unconscious

Only after you left with Makomo again

What happened was; Makomo holds everyone's hands. You ended up with the habit too. You were walking with Tanjiro and Makomo, holding Makomo's hand. Then you held Tanjiro's hand while you were walking, and Tanjiro, used to holding his siblings' hands, accepted it. Sabito was looming behind Tanjiro, ready to murder him

No dating until you find someone who won't die against Sabito, Makomo, Urokodaki, and Giyuu in a death match!

No, wait. Boys AND girls are illegal. Oh no, what should he do, Makomo-

Makomo: Calm down, Sabito.

You thought Sabito was being too strict with Tanjiro though. Sure, he was usually strict, but he was also a nice person and you knew it. He never hurt you when you played with the bokken and tried to hit him with it

You, swinging a bokken: HAAA-!

Sabito: *knocks you once on the head, carefully, with a bokken*

You, falling back and dropping the stick: WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Sabito, picking you up, more practiced in it now, and rubbing your head: You're okay.

While that was what would happen with you, he would literally not hold back with Tanjiro

You saw the bruises, and you knew they were from Sabito. Before Tanjiro knew he was your Kaa-chan, he told you that he fought a really strong boy with peach hair named Sabito

Thenn you told him he was your Kaa-chan. You said it didn't make sense though, because Kaa-chan was "super nice"

You: Kaa-chaaaann! Why're you so mean to Tanjiro?!

Sabito: He's not getting stronger.

Good brother mom overall. He taught you to slap Giyuu on the cheek if he ever seemed upset, and saved you multiple times from eating cicadas

You, about to eat a bug:

Sabito, sprinting: NO NO NO-

No, but grasshoppers are edible, he said.

He knows SOOOO much stuff about you that you didn't know. Like how you're allergic to not saying thank you, you're allergic to staying up past 11 PM(except on New Year's), and that you're allergic to too much candy and unhealthy foods.

When you were taught to slap Giyuu when he seemed upset and quiet(had to be two together), you were unsure about slapping Nii-san. So Sabito let you practice slapping people on him, while wearing his mask. To help you, so you wouldn't see his face when you slapped him, and you wouldn't see that you were slapping Kaa-chan.

Sabito: Harder.

You: Uh..

Sabito: You can hit harder than that, I know it. Hit me like you mean it! Are you even a man!?

You, starting to cry: ... Nee-chaaaan-!

Makomo: Kaa-chan yelled at you, (Reader)-chan. Did we raise you to back off from someone trying to put you down? Hit him because he's being mean to you. Hit him because right now, he's being a bully-!

You, slapping Sabito again: HMPH!

Sabito: Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! HELL YEAH, (Reader)!

You: DAMN YOU, KAA-CHAN!

Makomo, clapping: Good job, (Reader)-chan! Just don't copy Kaa-chan's words too much.

Sabito will beat you up like Tanjiro, when you're older though. You overheard them.

Makomo, after Sabito beat up Tanjiro again: Are you going to do this to (Reader)-chan when they're older too?

Sabito: Yyep.

You, approaching them: Ehhhh!?

When Tanjiro went to the exam though, you followed him without telling Urokodaki

You left a note.

Makomo and Sabito, staring at the note:

Sabito: ... Well, they got balls.

Makomo: Sabito, that's not the point here-

[bleucolor]

Last time I tried to post a giyushino fanfic and since i navigate myself through Tumblr like a boomer, I accidentally deleted my story. I felt like a whole ass clown but I'm feeling hopeful and I'm back with another prompt using the moon. This takes place in a modern AU where both Giyuu and Shinobu are teenagers. A random drabble for Giyushino which was inspired by being quarantined at home. Hope y'all enjoy and please do send some love 🥺👉👈

Moonlight and Sunrise

Giyuu and Shinobu were friends, however this fact was quite shocking to others due to their Light and Day personas. Tomioka Giyuu was a loner, he had like maybe 2 solid friends being Sabito and Makomo and the others were at max labeled as acquaintances. Shinobu wasn't the most popular one at their highschool but she was well known. She would always be seen alongside her two best friends, Sanemi the oversized delinquent who'd actually bite your head clear off and Uzui the player; who'd get girls left and right. With attention at both sides of the bay it'd be obvious that Shinobu would be well known around their school, being head of the pharmaceutical research club and still being an avid member of the fishing club and the flower arranging club gave Kochou quite the recognition around Kimestu Academy.

Giyuu happened to be in a different class than Sabito and Makomo to his demise thus forcing him to be the lonesome sheep he is. His classmates didn't bother much about him either and nor did he. To him, Kyojurou was too loud, Sanemi was too reckless and Iguro was too emo. He once even referred to Mitsuri as a horse girl to Sabito, but he later concluded that Kanroji was just a rare hybrid of a Taki girl or a hot cheeto girl and Himejima was that one person who believed in horoscopes too seriously, sometimes he'd do tarot readings for his other classmates which Giyuu honestly found quite cool. Whereas Shinobu was someone Giyuu would've honestly never associated in the first place and truthfully speaking their duo wouldn't even exist if Shinobu hadn't approached him first. Shinobu was more of a bully to Giyuu primarily but later Giyuu had opened up to her about how he thought of her as a close friend and that softened Shinobu's heart and strengthed their bond. Although Kyojurou was the smartest kid in the class; even securing his title as class president; Ubuyashiki sensei always made sure to pair up Shinobu and Giyuu together during class projects thus leading to frequent study sessions together. Towards the end of the year, Shinobu became the third person in the entirety of Kimetsu Academy to be close to Giyuu, the 1st and 2nd being Sabito and Makomo and 4th being a special freshman called Tanjiro.

Even though his classmates were rather annoying, Giyuu never did hate any of them. In fact it was hard for Giyuu to genuinely hate anybody in the first place but then there was this one person and that person was Shinobu's oh so charming boyfriend, Douma. Giyuu saw through his pretty boy personality when she first introduced him. He ranted about it to Sabito the very night, complaining about how he's all fake and it's all just a matter of time before that facade comes of. Sabito didn't miss a beat and told Giyuu to suggest a suitable partner for Shinobu instead, to which Giyuu had no answer to. And as per said prophecy it didn't take long for Shinobu to see Douma's true intentions and she decided a queen like her deserved better than this.

It was finally summer break and Giyuu and Shinobu had finally completed 12 painstaken years of schooling along with the others of course. Shinobu decided to host a little get together and hang out with the people she cared about one last time before they drifted apart into adulthood.

Giyuu reached the mall at about 8 pm and walked straight to the food court since Shinobu informed him that's where they would be. To his horror, Shinobu had invited a great deal of people, including those who didn't like him, example being his whole class. As always his presence was ignored by his classmates but thankfully amidst the groups of people, Giyuu noticed a particular red head named Sabito, aka his best friend. Sabito and Makomo were both invited too. Giyuu and Shinobu's friendship caused Shinobu to become good friends with Sabito as well, both of them developed a special bond while they both took turns into bullying poor Tomioka. Shinobu was sitting next to Kimetsu Academy's mascot boy, Inosuke, who looked way too soft for his harsh demeanor. Shinobu had a soft spot for this freshman. She had told Tomioka of how he filled the gap of her need of a younger brother. Unlike Tomioka, Shinobu had a lot of sisters; Kanae who was the eldest, Aoi was a year younger than Shinobu and then came Kanao who was 2 years younger than Shinobu, and lastly were the triplets, Naho, Sumi and Kiyo who were just middle schoolers. Inosuke was a bratty kid who'd frequently get into trouble for having a foul mouth but he was close to Tanjiro and weirdly Kochou's little sister, Kanao's best friend. The butterfly sisters loved having brutes as best friends for some reason, it didn't make sense but somehow worked out for them.

"Inosuke, promise you'll leave that nasty reputation behind."

"I ain't making any promises till you promise you'll send me 3 boxes of foreign chocolate every month." he crossed his arm and looked the other side.

Shinobu softly smiled at him, she was definitely going to miss this kid alot. "Alright Inosuke, I'll make sure to send you the latest ps4 games as well."

Inosuke's eyes lit up as he shook hands with Shinobu to confirm the deal. A subtle smile tugged at the corner of Giyuu's lips.

Giyuu went over to the table Sabito and Makomo were seated at and took a seat opposite to Sabito. It didn't take long for Shinobu to note his presence and she went over to their table and took a seat next to Giyuu. "Aww Tomioka-san, look this is a good farewell party for you, all your friends are here right Infront of you." she snorted.

Giyuu sent her a painful expression. Must she do this even on the day when he supposedly bids her farewell? "Tanjiro's not here though."

"So Kochou, did you get your acceptance letter?" Sabito tried desperately to break the awkward silence.

"oh yes I did, luckily I got into the university I wanted to. I'll be shifting to Canada a few months from now."

"That's so cool. Congrats!" Sabito sent her a beaming smile.

Giyuu was quiet, he was silently studying Shinobu, maybe this was the last time he was going to see her. She was wearing a Yellow ruffle top that was paired up with skinny ripped jeans and her 5 pound white filas, her hair was tied into a half ponytail; she looked cute. Alot of people would've assumed Giyuu's sense of fashion was probably as bland as his personality but surprisingly the guy had drip. He wore a plain black shirt paired up with dark denim jeans and chains to accessorise. Giyuu was an eboy. His sense of fashion honestly made him look quite intimidating but it added a spice to his laid back bland persona, maybe that's why Shinobu had taken an interest to him in the first place.

And almost too soon the party had came to an end as the clock struck 11 PM. Shinobu was probably tired of getting squeezed everytime she got hugged goodbye. One by one, everyone started to leave and before they knew it, a very ominous pair was left behind, and that pair being Giyuu and Shinobu.

"Sabito-kun is a very nice lad. You have great friends Tomioka-san." Shinobu complimented.

"He's nice because he walked Makomo home at 11pm?"

"Well yes, that's rather a very gentlemanly behavior. Don't you think so?"

"You know I've been doing that to you in every single one of our study dates right?" Giyuu raised an eyebrow, right now he seemed like a puppy wagging his tail to receive pats from its master.

Shinobu's cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink when Giyuu had referred to their study session as study dates mistakenly. It was just a slip of a tongue that's all. "My Tomioka-san, are you waiting for me to compliment you?"

"It's nice to hear you say something good about me once in a while Kochou." he pouted like a child.

"If that's what you want...then alright. Walk me home one last time Tomioka san."

"No." he blurted almost too bluntly causing Shinobu to frown almost too evidently. "I'll take you home on my bike instead, this time."

Shinobu was quite taken aback to his sudden kind gesture. Her stomach swelled up with a weird feeling. A mix of happiness with sadness that this was the first and last time she'd get to ride behind his bike.

Giyuu had disappeared for a split second into the parking lot leaving a timid Shinobu pondering. He did mention he really liked bikes. Weirdly as a highschooler, Shinobu always wanted to cruise behind a boy's motorcycle at least once during her high school years and well this was her chance. In 3 minutes Giyuu showed up in a Ducati xdiavel Infront of Shinobu. He patted on the seat next to him gesturing her to come take a seat behind him and so she did after admiring Giyuu and his totally hot ride. Not gonna lie his attire went really well with his bike, she almost felt like she was starring in some music video as they cruised into the dark streets.

Shinobu shrieked almost losing her grip as Giyuu hit a speed bump.

"Kochou." he called out to her, getting her attention.

"Hm?"

"Hold onto me, or you'll fall." his words left Shinobu all flustered and hot but she was quick to oblige, she didn't want any broken bones right before her flight. She also silently thanked the gods that it was too dark for Giyuu to make out her flushed red cheeks.

"Tomioka-san? When did you get this sweet thing?"

"It was a gift from my dad."

"But what if you have to move away for uni? What will happen to it then?"

"I'll take it with me, I haven't gotten a number plate for it yet so I'll just ship it using a ferry or something."

Shinobu wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. She wondered if she was the first girl to sit on his bike. She also wondered about the other girls who would eventually later sit on his bike.

"Kochou, are you in a hurry to go home?" Giyuu suddenly asked.

"Not really, mom and dad are staying at my grandparents' place in the country side and Nee-san just wants me to spend my last few days as free spirited teenager."

"Spend this night with me." he suddenly blurted.

"What?" she choked on her words. Giyuu had become way to daring these days, saying whatever he wanted and bruising poor Shinobu's heart with his choice of words.

"Come on, I wanna show you something." he reassured her in a soothing tone.

"Alright Tomioka-san, as long as you don't get us into trouble I'm good."

He soon parked into a quiet neighborhood. Jesus, this placed seemed abandoned for God's sake, what did he have to show her here? the grudge or babadook?

"Tomioka-san are you sure about this place." Shinobu sent him a nervous look as she tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Giyuu looked into her eyes as he held his hand out to her,"Trust me Kochou." and so she did. They now walked into this dark neighborhood, her tiny hand still enclasped with his large ones. Giyuu knew Shinobu wasn't a big fan of places like these. Places that screamed paranormal activity but the fact the she obliged quite quickly did make him realize how much she trusted him and deep down it made Tomioka Giyuu happy.

"isn't this place restricted or anything? Are we allowed to come here?" Shinobu asked almost too loudly.

Giyuu quickly covered her mouth with his large hands and pulled her into a dark alleyway. Shinobu was quite confused at his sudden antics. She sent him a raised eyebrow as he pinned her against a stone wall, his hand still covering her mouth and almost immediately a Patrol guard walked right past them on the streets. He quickly let go of her and pressed his index finger against his lips gesturing her to stay quiet. "it's alright as long as you don't get caught." he whispered to which she rolled her eyes. He held her hand once again and walked to the biggest house in the area, the house was 4 stories high and Giyuu seemed to have a weird tactic of slipping by the backdoor without getting noticed every time.

"So Tomioka-san, you wanted to show me an abandoned house. Very funny."

"They're not abandoned, they're on sale." He replied walking towards the kitchen.

Shinobu followed him precautiously, "And you're treating it like you own it."

"Only for a while." he replied as he took out 2 bottles of flavored milk. He handed Shinobu the strawberry flavored one knowing that was her favorite and kept the melon flavored one for himself.

"Tomioka-san what's the meaning of this?" she asked one last time, quite getting tired of his shit, really.

Giyuu didn't reply but held her hand as walked upstairs, practically forcing her to follow behind him. They soon reached the attic.

Shinobu was a little taken aback seeing all the clutter of furnite up there. Giyuu pulled up the glass window revealing a beautiful full moon night, how come Shinobu didn't notice that before? And then Tomioka started doing something stupid, which was climbing out of the attic window. Shinobu quickly grabbed his arm as a result of an involuntary reflex, "Are you stupid, do you want to die?"

Giyu was now standing on the roof of a 4 story house with a nerve wrecked Shinobu holding his arm. "Trust me Kochou." he spoke holding out his hand to her.

She shifted her gaze from his moonlit eyes to his hand. Did she trust him with her life? Yes, yes she did. She placed her hand on his and he carefully helped her outside. "Tomioka-san I don't see any point in all of thi-" Shinobu was cut off with the picturesque view of the moon and its bright stars right Infront of her.

Giyuu took a seat next to her, observing the view alongside her. He slowly sipped his melon drink while Shinobu quietly enjoyed her strawberry drink. His gaze shifted from the scenic beauty Infront of him to the other scenic beauty next to him (im a little gay for Shinobu sorry) and there she was Kochou Shinobu, the stars reflected in her eyes as she absent-mindedly stared into the sky being lost in her own void and Giyuu just watched her, she looked even cuter now.

It didn't take long for Shinobu to catch him staring which almost made him choke his drink.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah." he replied after his coughing fits died down. He decided to lay down and enjoy the beauty the night had to offer and Shinobu copied him, laying down next to him. Giyuu had quickly slid his arm towards Shinobu, allowing her to rest her huge head on his arm.

"Tomioka-san." she called out to him making his gaze lock with hers.

"Hm?"

"Thank you. I needed this."

He sent her a soft smile as he tucked behind a strand of her hair behind her ear, "You're welcome."

"You know Tomioka-san, since you've been craving compliments I guess I'll finally give you one." Giyuu softly observed her, wondering what she'd say. "If i were to describe you to a person Tomioka-san. This scenery would suffice."

"Hm?" he raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

"It kinda matches with your personality you know, It's as quiet and mysterious as the night but nevertheless if you observe closely it has all this beauty to offer." she smiled at him, and this time it hurt him. It made him feel weird. It didn't take long for Giyuu's cheeks to be flushed red under the silver moonlight. Giyuu couldn't reply to this, heck he couldn't even force any words through his mouth. Shinobu smiled and gazed back at the stars once again. She was hit a wave of familiarity, this was her and Giyuu's relationship, it was a bit complicated but it was a bit too beautiful to lose. She started to feel her stomach coil in sadness realising this was the last possible memory she'd spend with Giyuu or maybe they could meet up during the holiday seasons and have remakes of adventurous nights like these.

"Tomioka-san, did you get your acceptance letter?"

"Yeah I did."

"Where are you going?" she wasn't facing him, she didn't want him to see her sad expression.

"Same place you are." Giyuu tried his best not to smile while he said that.

Shinobu quickly turned to him in surprise, "That's a horrible joke, Tomioka-san."

"I'm not." he said, pulling out his phone from his pocket and scrolling through his email to show her his proof. And to Shinobu's surprise there it was, and it was legit. Shinobu was quiet, this was what she wanted but in was a bit too much for her to take in all at once.

"Thank God, now I don't have to worry about you not having friends and getting left alone." she snapped back almost too quickly,

"Shut up."

The air was light and heavy at the same time, Shinobu was a bit too happy to be falling asleep but it didn't take her long to doze off in Giyuu's arms, or on Giyuu's arms. Ouch.

He mentally cursed himself for suddenly exhibiting simp behavior, but today was Shinobu's day and he just had to oblige even though he had to sacrifice his arm.

It didn't take long for Giyuu to doze off alongside Shinobu. Falling asleep under a star-filled sky did have a romantic touch to it.

Giyuu was the first to wake up as the sun slowly started to rise amongst the clouds, creating a magnificent hue of purple and orange. Thankfully Shinobu had shifted from laying on his arm to laying on his chest instead which was definitely more comfortable, but surely Shinobu wouldn't be able to sleep long against his chest with his heart pounding like that.

Giyuu took a moment to appreciate a sleepy Shinobu alongside the beautiful sunrise. Her sun-kissed face was just art in its own form. If Giyuu was anywhere as skilled as Sabito in art, he'd use this masterpiece lying beside him as a prompt and then that's when it hit him. Shinobu basked in the golden rays of sunlight, Shinobu was the golden sunrise in early mornings and if Giyuu were to describe her to someone he'd say something along the lines of; "Shinobu you're the morning sunrise. You're annoying but your presence brings warmth." he whispered softly patting her head. And as most cliché scenes this was no different, much to Giyuu's ill fate, Shinobu was seemingly awake the whole time, and she heard every bit of that.

"That's quite harsh Tomioka-san, but I'll take it." she replied causing a frantic Giyuu's heart rate to sky rocket.

With the sun out, Giyuu and Shinobu realised they better be getting home now since they both had guardians to explain their whereabouts to. It didn't take long for them to pack up and reach Shinobu's house. They shared a small hug on Shinobu's front porch along with Shinobu thanking him for giving her an unforgettable journey. This was a nice end to her highschool life. With a wide grin plastered over her face Shinobu walked into her house to 5 very amused and interested sisters.

[jojo-at-his-computer]

Of course. I gotta say, this kinda makes me think of the song Pity Party, so I love it.

Josuke X Reader: Happy Birthday To You

It was a lovely morning in Morioh when you woke up, the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon greeting you. You got up, washed your face, put on your favorite outfit, brushed your hair and went downstairs. Your dad was reading the newspaper while your Mom set your place at the table with your special breakfast.

"Happy birthday!" shouted Mom and Dad. You smiled. It was your 16th.

"Thank you guys!" you said sitting down to your meal, instantly drowning your pancakes in syrup and devouring them.

"Imagine that." said Dad in surprise "16! Almost a grown-up." He and Mom smiled proudly.

"Hurry up and eat, then we'll get the decorations put up." You beemed and you finished your breakfast, appetite invigorated.

As you went around the house putting up balloons and streamers in your favorite colors, your mind wandered. Your family had only moved to Morioh a few months ago. You ended up starting highschool in town as a first year, one of many new kids, and you ended up making a few new friends there. Your best friend was Josuke Higashikata, a classmate of yours. He was a pretty nice guy, though if someone were to make fun of his hair, he'd kick their ass. He had a unique pompadour haircut, and while you were a bit nervous to say so, you thought it was cute. You thought HE was cute. Okay just admit it, you were totally crushing on him, hard! You liked everything about him, his hair, his sapphire blue eyes, his smile, and on your first day of school, he saved you from a group of bullies that were trying to shove you into a locker. You've been wanting to confess your feelings to him, but you've been so nervous. You shook your head. Today's not the day to think about mushy stuff like that. Nope! Today's the day for celebration! It's your party and your day to shine!

After putting up the decorations, Mom told you to go ahead and relax in the living room for a few hours until the time that guests would arrive. You played some Mario for a bit, but after falling down and dying for the umpteenth time, you decided it'd be better to watch a few anime videotapes for the time being. But as you went to plug in the VCR, you heard Mom slam the phone in frustration.

"Just great!" shouted Mom. She shook her head and calmed her voice down to not upset you as much. "I'm sorry sweetie, but Grandpa is sick and can't make it, and I just got off the phone with your Aunt. She had an emergency meeting that's running late and had to cancel."

"Oh!" you said a bit surprised. "I'm sorry. That really sucks! I hope Grandpa gets better." You felt bad, but you also knew that your parents would try to get them together again and you all would get to do something special altogether, like a movie or dinner at a restaurant.

"I'll tell Grandpa you said that." said Mom. "It's about time for your friends to start arriving, why not wait in the sunroom to greet them." You glanced at the clock, about 5 til 4 pm, realizing she was right.

"Okay" you answered. You grabbed a copy of Shonen Jump to read as you awaited your friends arrival. 10 minutes, no one yet. That's okay, it's only 5 after 4. 30 minutes went by. Huh that's weird, but they must be running late. 45 minutes now. You start getting a little worried. An hour. You ended up finishing your Shonen Jump magazine. Out of fear and anger, you start pacing the floor in front of the door. Tears start to well up under your eyes. It's 5:15, more than an hour and no one shown up! Without giving it a 2nd thought, you cross to the phone in the kitchen. Mom asked you a question, but you ignored her, all you could think about was knowing why the hell you got stood up at your own party.

You dial Josuke's number at rapid fire speed, hearing the dial tone indicating the phone was ringing. You heard the gentle click as Josuke answered on the other end.

"Moshi moshi, this is Higashikata!" answered Josuke. You couldn't help but feel an odd sense of joy hearing his gentle voice, followed by anger and hurt that he wasn't at your party.

"Where were you!" you said suddenly shouting. Josuke was taken aback.

"(Name) is that you?" asked Josuke. "Where we supposed to hang out or something today? What's wrong?" All of the sudden you couldn't take it anymore and tears burst from you, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I can't believe you didn't show up for my party!" you shouted "Nobody shown up, the party has been going on since four, and nobody came! Not even Grandpa or my aunt could make it!" you were heaving in-between sobs, shaking before you realized you heard Josuke ask something. You calmed down a bit before you asked him to repeat what he just said.

"Today's your birthday?" he asked.

"Yes of course it's my birthday! I sent you the -" you cut off when it clicked in your brain. You realized what might have happened, why nobody had shown up.

"You didn't get an invitation, did you?" you asked Josuke.

"I don't think so!" answered Josuke, "I wouldn't forget your party if I did."

"Oh my God!" you said feeling weak. "Of course! Something must have happened with the invitations! I'm so sorry. I should have known you'd make it. Well now the party is ruined and it's all my fault."

"Not yet!" answered Josuke. "Don't cancel the party yet. Give me about an hour, I promise."

"Okay." you answered, taking a deep breath. "I believe you, just get here as soon as you can." You hear the dial tone that the line is now dead. You breathed a sigh as you sat on the floor waiting. It was now 5:25. You waited some more. It was 5:55. You called Josuke's house again, but his mom picked up. However she did confirm that Josuke left awhile ago. You said thank you and hung up. At this point Mom looked in the front room where you were waiting.

"I'm sorry honey." she said hugging you. "It's been a couple hours, why don't you join us and we'll cut the cake."

"No mom, I know Josuke for sure is coming." You explained how you found out there was an apparent mailing mishap that prevented the invitations from reaching your friends. Mom shrugged.

"Okay." she said. "But if he doesn't show up before 7, we're cutting the cake without him."

"Deal" you said. You looked at the clock, it was now 6:15, nearly an hour since you spoke to him. Where could he be? Of course! He must be going to get me a present, you reasoned. No sooner you finished your thought, there's a knock at the door.

"Hello", you say as you answered the door. You opened it to find not only Josuke had arrived like he said he would, but he brought some friends with him too. There was Okuyasu and Koichi, two of your friends from school, and two people you didn't recognize, an old man with a white beard and glasses, and a man in his late 20's wearing a white hat that had "JO" on it. Everyone's arms were loaded with giftbags.

"Oh my gosh!" you gushed, "You guys made it! Josuke thank you for bringing everyone here." you said giving him a hug. "C'mon in guys." you motioned for everyone to come inside.

"Sorry we're late," said Josuke, "I called Koichi and Okuyasu, along with my, er, relatives, this is Joseph Joestar and Jotaro Kujo by the way." he said motioning to the old man and the man in white respectively. You remembered Josuke saying he had family members in town recently.

"Hello there," said Mr. Joestar.

"Hello," said Jotaro with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you. Thank you both for coming." you replied.

"We realized that we didn't have any presents." said Koichi.

"And we weren't sure what to get you." admitted Okuyasu.

"Yeah," said Josuke a bit embarrassed. "We kinda panicked and went to different stores. Sorry we didn't have time to wrap anything."

"That's okay!" you laughed. "You didn't have to get me all these presents. I'm happy to have you guys present! (God that's such a terrible pun lol) I'm so glad everyone's here." You led everyone to the kitchen, having the guests put their gifts on one of the tables. There was a whole table with pizzas and potato chips and soda pops, you told the guests to help themselves. You made conversation with your friends and Josuke's relatives as you enjoyed your pizza. Jotaro talked about his marine biology work he's been doing in town. Later you opened presents from your friends. After that, your parents brought out the cake, frosted with pastel buttercream and had 16 candles all aglow. Everyone sang Happy Birthday as you blew the candles, making your wish.

Shortly after the cake and ice cream, the guests started to leave. You said goodbye and thanked everyone for coming. Josuke decided to hang around a little bit before going home. The sun had set and it was nighttime. You and Josuke decided to sit in the backyard and look at the stars.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you earlier," you said a bit embarrassed.

"Hey, don't worry about it." said Josuke. "I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. I probably should have called earlier, but I forgot, I've just had a lot on my mind lately." You nodded understandably. You couldn't exactly put your finger on it, but a lot of weird stuff was happening lately in town.

"Anyways," said Josuke, pulling out something from his jacket pocket, "I kinda lied. I had something special I've been wanting to give you. I got this awhile ago." It was a small rectangle shaped box. You opened it and inside was a gold medallion necklace with two gold charms, a heart and a peace sign, just like the gold pins he wears on his uniform.

"Oh my, this is beautiful!" you exclaimed. "I love it. Thank you!"

"I'm glad you love it!" said Josuke blushing a little. You sighed. Guess the time is now to tell him.

"So, I've been wanting to tell you for awhile. I've had a crush on you since I started school here. I think you're cute, I love your hair, and I ended up making friends here thanks to you, and I want to be more than friends, but I was so nervous to tell you because I'm afraid you wouldn't like me that way and then things would be awkward and - "

You were interrupted when Josuke suddenly gave you a quick kiss. Both of you blushed a bright red.

"I'm sorry." said Josuke blushing a bit. "I've been wanting to tell you too. That's why I got you the medallion."

"Thank you so much." you say happily. "Now that we're together, you want to see a movie or something this weekend?"

"That sounds great!" says Josuke. You put on the madallion necklace, smiling at Josuke.

"You look beautiful!" said Josuke smiling. You happened to look at your watch, it was about a quarter to 10.

"Oh crap! It's late! You got to get home!" you said in surprise.

"Oh God you're right!" said Josuke looking at the time. "Meet you at the movies this weekend?"

"Of course." you answered. You gave him a kiss goodbye and walked him to the front door. You waved goodbye as he left, then went to help Mom clean up and put away the party decorations. While it had a rocky start, it turned out to be an amazing party. You thought about the wish you made when you blew out the candles, it had come true. You wished to kiss Josuke.

[starbide]

Inspiration below. The following is a work of fiction.

 'Six years,' I thought to myself walking down the road. It had rained earlier that evening, but by now the clouds were long gone. The pavement shimmered in the waxing moonlight, still slick with the water of those vanished clouds. I would not slip; the road was mostly level as it lazily stretched down the gentle hill behind me, and the streetlamps cast in gold what the moon would otherwise leave dim. The world was silent.

'It's hard to believe I've been gone that long,' I continued, step by step. Six years since I'd moved away for my career. Six years since I'd left my family behind. 'Left her behind,' I smirked to myself, passing a large bush on my right. Houses stood dark and serene on either side, all daily activities complete and put to rest. No cars joined me on the waterlogged street, preferring the concrete comfort of their driveways and garages. I approached and passed under another hazy lamp.

It was cool out, a gentle breeze brushed past the wool of my jacket without raising a single goose bump. I paid it no mind; I was always a bit warmer blooded than others in my circle. My best friend for most of my school years couldn't understand my ability to wear shorts comfortably year-round. 'Those were the days,' I mused, thinking back to the last time we'd seen each other. It had to be more than a decade at this point, long before I'd moved north for work and expanded my wardrobe to include legwear longer than my knees.

I reached an intersection and paused. Four ways, no direction more enticing or foreboding than the next. A lamp at every corner, and the bus station deserted save by its sign across the diagonal. The station I'd waited at patiently every morning for that bright yellow school bus, before I'd ever met my old bestie. It was just me and one other kid, a rather scrawny looking boy who had been in most of my elementary grades but with whom I'd never really gotten on with. We'd shared classes, teachers, and the occasional pencil or marker, but never played together outside of academia. He'd moved away much longer than a decade ago. Now I was really delving into my memory, faded as it was with time.

I checked my phone: 11:57 PM in small white font. My first night back home, I should be exhausted. This wasn't my normal time zone and airplane seats aren't exactly memory foam, but I'd found a second wind after dinner and took to the night after my folks had gone to bed themselves. Sure, I'd been physically gone for six years, but we'd stayed in touch off and on since I'd left. Maybe five months back was our last video call. We'd talked about me taking this trip, now that things had settled down and my life was much more under control. Things had been wild for a while, and if all went according to plan at work things would become wild again not too far down the line. Which reminded me, I needed to make another appointment when I returned home. Couldn't go running out of my prescription again.

A brief twitch of motion caught my eye, and I peered down the leftward lane. One of the bulbs had burned out a few dozen meters down, and in this larger pool of darkness something had moved. At least I thought it had, but my eyes could be playing tricks on me with the shadows. One dark spot moving erratically through a larger, differently dark spot wasn't exactly proof of anything. But of course, my heartbeat quickened regardless. Base human instinct, I suppose. Spot a motion in the dark, prepare to act to either fight or flee.

That hallucination had triggered something else in me though. A memory, unconsciously bidden, rose up behind my eyes. That kid, the little one I'd shared a bus stop with for years, I did not recall being nice to often. Many times, I'd engaged in common teasing, and he always took it personally. A couple times he'd even cried, but I'd never gotten in much trouble for it. A different time I supposed. That sort of behavior wouldn't fly nowadays, and that's good. I felt a bit sick thinking back about it, as it was now clear I'd been a bit of a bully. What it hadn't been was a wake-up call for my parents, who didn't get me the help I had so desperately needed until much later in my teens. I was better now, better enough to see what I'd done back then was very wrong. I couldn't remember all of it, but that boy's tears had stuck with me. I wonder what happened to him?

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts and calm my pulse, I opted for the path in front. This route would wind close to the park, after a couple turns beyond my current field of vision. Crossing the street, I didn't even bother looking left or right, as the night was so quiet and empty, I could hear a car coming from miles away, if there were any to hear. A rock lay in the far side gutter; I kicked it just to give my ears some stimulation. It knocked against the cement curb and bounced across puddles thin as saran wrap to a rest. By then I'd already forgotten about it and left that intersection behind.

Another thought was creeping up from my subconscious, this one more distasteful than the last. I'd left a girl behind when I moved for work, and the breakup hadn't been pleasant. She'd been very upset, naturally, and felt betrayed I was abandoning her like that. Abandoning. It had been her word, not mine, but with the clarity of distance I could see she was right. It had been years since I'd considered how we ended, and I wasn't sure what spurred those thoughts just now, but after what I'd done to her, I could accept she was right.

Still though, rounding the first turn, my leaving her should have been a good thing. Now that the floodgates of memory were open, I may as well dive right in. She'd been so hurt by my sudden departure because I'd systematically isolated her from her friends and much of her family too. She'd grown more and more attached to me, and I'd encouraged that through some particularly devilish means. I didn't know about the term 'gaslighting' at the time, but that was a polite way of putting it. I'd been very proficient at psychological manipulation back then, and my desire for control over her life could have consumed us both. At the end, she'd only had limited contact with her sister, who had been rightly concerned about her but too terrified of me to do anything to stop me. Looking back, I can't blame her. I now believe it was good that I left when I did. I hope she realized the same, though I haven't heard from her since.

Now the road turned left, arcing gradually around a thicker cluster of trees. This walk was turning out to be less relaxing than I'd hoped. The smallest things seemed to be dredging up thoughts and old memories in me, and none of them were painting me in the best light. Being my thoughts, maybe that was the best light I could possibly be presented in. Maybe their memories of me, the version of me still living in their mind, was far worse than I could imagine on this unassuming suburban night. I'd read somewhere that we're all the hero of our own story, and of course the hero never thinks they're the villain. But I'm sure that's what I am in at least a few people's stories. I'm starting to feel like the villain in my own.

Opening up ahead of me is the park, and the wide-open fields I remember so well. This area is less well lit, with streetlamps only illuminating the edges of the grass and allowing the moon to bathe the world in dead white. In reality, this is only sunlight reflected, but from the moon it feels much less like the bright star that gives this planet life. Like Luna itself, it feels cold and impersonal, like it wouldn't actively try to end my life but also wouldn't even notice if I merely faded away into the ether. I'd had some trouble with those thoughts as well over the years, before I got help. And now, rushing back to me, I remember they were also why I lost my best friend.

He and I had been out for the evening, playing some game with a few other friends. The game had ended, and we were walking home together when a car had rushed past us. Neither he nor I were injured, but it had been close and the driver had continued on recklessly. After it rounded the corner, we'd both heard a large thumping sound, followed by the rapidly diminishing roar of its engine. After a quick glance between us we'd rushed around the corner ourselves to see a big yellow dog crumpled up in the drain. Not losing a moment we hurried up to it, but we needn't have rushed. It had most likely died on impact, before we even saw it.

My friend had knelt down next to it to try and save it, even though it was hopeless. He must have known, but it's only natural to want to help another life. At least, it is for me now, and it was for him then. I remember him crouched over the dog, tears in his eyes when he accepted what happened, and then he looked up at me. His tears ebbed and his face froze in fear at what he saw, but he couldn't say anything to me at the time. We walked home in uncomfortable silence after that, and said a short awkward goodbye. Truth be told, that's the last time we spoke to each other in person.

Thinking of the next part, I felt a chill run deep into my core. I remembered now what he told me, over text message later that night. He'd bent over the dog and been so distraught because he knew it. He'd checked the tag to be sure, but it was his neighbor's dog that he'd grown up playing with. I think he'd even muttered its name a couple times, but I'm not sure. But when he looked up at me, he said I had the biggest grin he'd ever seen. The look on my eyes was not maniacal, as some would think, but dead, not present. As if the dog dying had brought out a whole new face in me, as if the lights were on but nobody was home, and yet the lights still wanted to kill you. It had terrified him, and it was all he could do not to sprint from me that moment without looking back. I don't think he ever knew how right he'd been back then, something that took me years to realize and longer to overcome.

I quietly walked to the center of the field, as far from the streetlights as possible, and looked up. The moon provided none of the same dangers as the sun when staring straight at it, and I took a few moments to just gaze at it and let my thoughts sort themselves out. I'd been a monster in my childhood, a terror in my youth, before I found my doctor and we set out on a years-long journey to get me better. Any other time I'd have kept on that dangerous path, ruining some lives and possibly ending others. That had all changed, thanks to my incredible fortune and a lot of hard work, but with the clarity of hindsight I could see just how close to the precipice I'd come. How I'd always be there in the minds of childhood mates and adolescent connections. And this was just what I could remember now. There was no way for me to know how many other monstrous versions of me still lived in any number of former classmates.

In the corner of my eye, I saw another twitch in the shadows. Jerking my head down, I followed the motion to the foot of the trees, the darkest spot on the field. This time there was no mistake; there was definitely an object moving there, slowly but surely. My heartbeat shot up and my throat swelled as I bent my knees and got into a defensive posture. The object lumbered forward, moving without haste but with purpose. When it came into the light, I was surprised to see a little boy with a scratched-up shirt and messy brown hair. Standing up in confusion, I was certain I'd seen him somewhere before. Step by step, I focused on every detail I could make out in the gloom, before it hit me like the car that last night walking home.

That boy was dressed, to the letter, the exact same way I had on picture day in third grade. My hair had been an untamable brown mess, and even the cheap novelty watch was the same. I was more perplexed than anything now, as I couldn't understand for the life of me what a kid was doing in that field, at midnight, wearing clothes that weren't even made any more. That was until he spoke, and his voice froze my blood in its veins.

It was like whispers, floating around my head, and several voices all at once and all taking turns being the loudest. They were all his, but not really. His mouth had opened and his lips were framing the syllables, but it was my voice from so many years ago repeating every taunt, every tease, every foul nickname I'd ever given that scrawny boy who shared a bus stop with me. Who'd cried, not once or twice, but dozens of times. Who'd gone home often with scrapes and tears in his clothes personally inflicted by myself. I had terrorized him for years of his early life, and what I saw before me must be what I forever lived as in his memory.

But if that were true, then this kid in front of me couldn't be real. I had to be hallucinating again, I must have been more exhausted than I'd allowed myself to feel. He sure looked real, though, and his footsteps were matting the grass in a way I didn't trust my mind to make up. But the ghostly, strangled voices of my younger self crashing in waves into my ears gave the entire scene a surreal feeling, making the hair on the back of my neck stick up like electricity. I couldn't bring myself to step away, and I sure as hell wasn't going to walk forward to meet him. It. Whatever it was I was seeing, real or not.

Only a few meters away, he stopped moving. Swallowing bile, I could do little more than watch him as the voices continued to echo in my ears, unchanged by his distance all this time. Then I spotted another motion far off to my right, and then a third to my left. Glancing quickly between them, I determined that they were both noticeably older than the child before me, one by a few more years than the other. They too walked slowly towards me, bringing their own voices to the forefront. Despite the dozens of voices I now thought I was hearing, every word registered clearly in my mind. One was speaking about my old best friend and the dog, the other repeated every lie I ever told my ex-girlfriend before leaving. As if their mere presence in my eyes were not enough, hearing my old, hateful words repeated to me in my own voice almost made me vomit with fear and disgust.

They too, stopped approaching me at the same distance as the child. As they did, dozens more similar hallucinations emerged from the trees and surrounding neighborhood, all carrying their own chorus of hate and venom and bringing back new, abhorrent memories of my youth. Terrorizing a girl in my 4th grade class. Catching squirrels in my early teens and setting them on fire, then getting caught myself. Giving that kindergartner a major concussion on a dare, after my best friend had ceased speaking to me. Even one similar in age to myself now, though he brought words of loss and failure, and of betrayal to my parents. That must have been right before my breakthrough, with the doctor and an early test version of my current prescription. I was better now. I had to be. But why was I seeing all of this, all of these versions of me locked in the minds of everyone who I'd left behind in my life? My trail of destruction?

They had all stopped walking now, forming a tight semicircle around me. The voices still buzzed in my ears, but slowly they faded to an indistinguishable babble. I tried to speak, but my throat had caught a bubble, so I gulped fruitlessly and closed my mount again. The thoughts racing through my mind had no similar handicap, as my mind shouted repeatedly the same things. Who are you all? Why is this happening? What are you doing to me?

The version of me who gaslit my girl took a couple steps forward, as if presenting himself as the leader. I had no time to process what this might mean before he spoke, in a much clearer form than any of these hallucinations had yet. "We are you. We are you that you left behind, trapped in the minds of those you hurt, frozen in time from the moment you left us years or decades ago. We have had no life to live, no chance to grow and thrive, no possibility to leave the prisons of mind which you left us in, being tortured again and again by those you tortured without remorse and without recompense. We cannot sit by from behind our bars as you continue to enjoy the life you stole from us all."

"I didn't know I was doing this!" I cried, finally able to break the blockade in my throat. "I was a monster, I know that well now, and I've spent years trying to recover from the damage I've done!" I felt foolish, yelling out into the night at visions only visible to myself. 'All this work, all this progress,' I cried to myself. 'This will set me back months if not more, and I can only hope my medication doesn't fail like I have.'

The same me looked down at the ground and shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, but you must know how little that matters to us. You've lived a life of freedom from any repercussions and locked us away to suffer in your place. You've flaunted that fact with your precious medical tools and until tonight, hadn't even remembered us or what you did to torture and imprison us. We are here now for the life that you stole from us, to end the torture you sentenced us to and walked away from yourself unscathed." He took another step forward, his face growing menacing.

"I don't know what that means," I cried, shaking my head as the tears started to drop. This was starting to feel all too real, and fear was expanding like a balloon deep into my core. "I don't know what any of this means. What do you want from me!?"

Another step. "We want your life," the gaslighter said mirthlessly. "We all want your life, the life wrongly denied us time and time again. And you will learn what it means to be ripped apart and put back together, over and over again. Tortured yourself for what you did to so many people in your life. You gave us to them to burn, to break, to grind down into dust and be restored only to do it all over tomorrow. You tortured them, and then you gave them us to work their revenge on, day after day with no hope of an end. And the most unforgivable of all was giving the youngest of you away to feel this pain the longest. Over two decades have the youngest of us been taken to pieces, shattered in mind and body and soul for your carelessness and your fleeting experiments in sociopathy. This will end tonight."

I could say nothing, the terror burning white on my face. If this was a hallucination, it was the worst one I'd ever had and I had no idea how I'd survive it. It was far too realistic, far too deadly for me to think of anything else, any of the tricks and tools my doctor had given me. What had happened to cause this? I swear I never missed a day on my prescription, and these memories... Where had they all been before? Why had I not been able to recover them and work through them with my doctor? Were they even real? Was this me, standing only a meter away now, real? Or was he only real in my mind, and if he wanted to hurt me would that distinction make a difference? I reached out my hand, reaching toward his arm slack against his torso...

And he reached out and took my wrist like a vice. Ice cold and unflinching, he held my arm up in front of me and closed the gap between us imperceptibly fast. "You may have many regrets. I have only one," he said in a low, bloodthirsty voice. "While there are dozens of us gathered here, dozens you sentenced to eternal damnation without a second thought, only one of us may live this life. I may not be the youngest of your victims, I may not give you the longest time in the torture you gave us, but I intend to fight with everything you have put me through these long years. Your life is mine."

As he growled in my face, a white-hot streak of terror shot through me and I pushed him back with almost reflexive strength. He staggered, rebalanced, then looked at me with cannibalistic hunger in his eyes. He panted twice, then screamed and lunged at my neck. With adrenaline now coursing through me, I turned and sprinted away from the gathering, hearing the pounding of footsteps deep in my brain. He had grabbed my arm. I glanced at it as I reached the sidewalk and saw a chalk white handprint etched into my grayish skin. The urge to vomit came back, but I managed to fight it down as I kept up a faster pace than I'd ever run before. The swarm of my past, tortured selves was hot on my heels, like starved dogs following fresh game. Any loss in my speed and I'd be eaten alive, or worse. I truly did not know what would happen if they caught me, and my mind was too far gone to even entertain the idea of hallucinations any more.

I rounded the next curve and thought the sound of the pack was a little quieter than before. It still sounded like pure rage and bloodlust, but with fewer voices than before. Thinking it was only a few stragglers being blocked by the trees, I kept up the fastest pace I could, not even feeling my feet hit the ground. Another hundred meters of straightaway and it was definitely growing less loud with each step. The roar was diminishing, no trees to hide the sound now, but it was still a roar. By now a cramp had begun to grow in my stomach, and no matter what I did I felt myself losing speed. Every few steps I could burst forward faster again, but I couldn't maintain the same rocket pace as before. To my ears, though, as my speed gradually fell, so did the volume of my pursuers. By the time I got to the intersection, it only sounded like a couple of me were still hunting, and I could count their individual footsteps. It was at this time I chanced a look behind, just to know what was still coming.

Right on my neck was him, the gaslighter. He grinned at me, his face less than a meter away. I felt that same shock explode throughout my body and I shot forward, faster than before if possible, fully terrified again now that I knew he and he alone was here for me. I kept running and running, past houses, lanes, and bushes. Still no signs of life from any houses, no cars rumbling down the road or creaking into place in a driveway. The night was as empty and uncaring as before, and only myself and the predator I had been broke the gentle midnight breeze. My legs thundered on, screaming in pain in their own way, but I didn't stop or look back again until I'd reached my family's old house a few blocks down.

Now truly running on empty, I turned back to face my hunter, but he was gone. Disappeared. Evaporated into the night, nowhere to be seen. The moon still hung high, reflecting some small percentage of sunlight down to me, and the streetlamps bathed the road and yards in amber light. He wasn't hiding from me, he hadn't overtaken me. There was no shortcut to the house, it was a straight shot from the park. He was simply gone, faded back into the night from which he'd come without a trace. If he'd ever really been there at all, and not merely a hallucination from exhaustion or medication or... I didn't even know any more. I just knew that he was gone, just gone, just gone.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice called out to me. I jumped, but only in surprise. It was a familiar voice, but not familiar like my own. It sounded like my dad, and I heard large, calm footsteps walk toward me from our front door.

"Yeah," I said, although it was little more than a whisper. I buckled over, fell to my hands and knees, and felt the cramps and burning in my lungs catch up to me as the adrenaline faded away. I felt like vomiting, for the third time that night, but this time it was easier to fight the urge than before. I got some deep breaths in as I panted on the ground, slowly but surely recovering from my insane dash moments before.

My dad walked up in front of me, wearing the same well-worn brown leather shoes he'd owned since before I left. I didn't want to worry him about this night, and what I thought I saw in the park. Not when my recovery was going so well. Not when a lapse like this would mean months of work just to get back to where I was only an hour ago. "I'm okay dad, I just went for a walk. Then I saw how late it was and tried to get back as fast as I could. I guess I'm not the athlete I used to be, eh?" I tried to lift my head up to give him a weak smile, but still couldn't raise it much higher than his waist

He chuckled softly, and sounded a little strange. Still sleepy maybe, I guess I woke him up coming back here, and maybe I was screaming too. I don't know any more, I don't know what was real any more. But he knelt down in front of me after I dropped my head again, still exhausted, and said, "That's okay sport, I think we both know your real talents weren't on the field. I learned that lesson very well over the past six years."

[somethinglikelife]

So, okay it's three days into the New Year and have I made resolutions?

Nope.

Am I going to?

Probably not, and want to know why?

Because with how my brain works, I get sidetracked too quickly. Seriously you're lucky that you're getting a post a week from me right now. I tend to give up after a while because things aren't going my way, or I just can't focus on it.

Though I am working on that. I just know that it's going to take longer than a year to deal with. Yay for childhood trauma that has caused low self esteem and other mental issues! Which considering I was a latchkey kid growing up in the 80s and 90's in America... Probably is saying a lot. Saying more when I'm admitting that I have the issues, I know us GenXers have a bit of a problem dealing with THAT part of our lives.

So yeah, today, I'm dealing with it in the only way I learned how. And no, I'm not going to have a long sad post here about it just yet. Though, that is being formulated. But how I learned to deal with my trauma and issues was to write. Ever since I was about six. The librarian at school actually complained when I wouldn't leave the little kid books in the grade school library (they were my safe space okay? Picture books to some degree still are my safe space, only now it's Manga and not Dr Suess.

Why did I need a safe space? I was the only girl in a neighborhood of boys, I was the oldest of two, and I knew before my parents that something was wrong with their marriage when they argued with each other and it turned into yelling. Probably figured it out too that Mom was sleeping around since really there's no way someone who was a bus driver would be coming home at 11 pm on school nights. I know that my school district wasn't THAT big. She had a secondary job at a small local sewing machine shop, that she would tell us she was working, though a few times I called to ask if she could bring something home, her boss (who was like another grandfather to my little brother and I) would say she wasn't working that day.

So yeah, when I got stressed I'd hide in books. Little kid books didn't have emotional violence that I was dealing with everyday, though in some cases the physical was worse. Neighborhood of boys, I was the smallest of us so yeah, I was picked on a lot, though they learned the hard way that I do have a breaking point.

You know that along with the fact that I could swing a 50lbs splitting maul one handed when I weighed about 100lbs... might be why some of the local bullies that won't ever leave the town that raised me, are scared to pick on my brother. They're not scared of the 6'2" science geek who looks like a linebacker, no they're scared of the 5'6" older sister.

You know I'm not even mad about it. I have always been protective of the geek and probably will continue to be so.

Am I that violent little kid anymore? No. The path I follow for my practice is more pacifist (though I still have war deities offering to work with me, go figure). I can still take someone down if needed, but I'd rather walk away before starting a fight for the most part. It's been about eighteen years since I have been in a fight, ended that one breaking my attacker's nose then leaving. I'm in no hurry to get into another one.

Though, you couldn't tell from the fresh scars on my arms. Though that's all because the roommate got a new cat, and he's still trying to learn 'play nice'. I'm glad my self esteem makes it so that I don't have the confidence to be a model, or I'd be sending the photographers into a fit with how much photoshopping they'd have to do.

And yeah, I lost the plot of this post. Yay for the brain that's wired wrong (Something that I have said about my quirks since I was a kid, and now I'm finding out that I may have been on the spectrum, but of course, they didn't test for that when I was a kid. Or if they did it was rarely and leaned more to a 'boy's' illness.

Which probably was why I hid in books. And had to be prodded to things other than little kid books. I'm pretty sure I should have slowed down a bit though because I was reading Stephen King and Dean Koontz before I was ten.

I was writing stories at six though. Dabbling in Fanfiction, which I still do, I've met so many friends in the fandoms that I play in (sorry Dad!). Dad said that I was wasting my time with them, though I'm a firm believer of the school that your passions should give you more than just a monetary value. If you're going to put your heart and soul into something, you should be able to share it with everyone, not just the people who can afford it.

Writing, is that, my passion, it's also my therapy. I write to fix my mood. I have some stories that I will never post anywhere because the dark material in them, isn't what I want the world to see of me. And that's something that will never change. I might slip the lighter material from those into other writing, but on a whole, nope.

And do I have a point to this post?

Not really. Or if it is.. Guess I'm starting the new year in a fog. let's see if I can clear it up any.

To my readers, hope you have a good new year. Things can't be as bad as the last few years right?

[lightsorigins]

An inefficient world

03 Marckabeth 2010

3:42 pm, Mysticiën,

Lausya, Estery High School

 Squeezed into an uncomfortable wooden chair, Sarasvatî had her arms folded. She had been staring at Madame Bigot, her biology teacher, for a few minutes. After having finished her tirade on a part of the course, this last one also observed Sara during a few seconds. The setting sun was illuminating her short jet hair and her strong gaze. She was imperturbable, yet everything about her indicated a latent irritation.

- Sarasvatî, do you have something to add?

 She sighed at length before answering.

- You send me sorry, but you can't understand anything in a class where you get lost in so many details.

- These details are in Sara's program. If you work harder, you'll understand more.

 At the agreement of his words, his gaze caught fire.

- That I work more? Me? In this room, I'm sure that no one understood a word of what you've just explained. You start to talk to us about how Anima and Menha work, and then you digress about your theories about the most powerful elements to bring down the Anima of our opponents, even though we are not even atmologists. It had nothing to do with the beginning of the session, and we haven't even been given a lecture on the primary elements yet!

- Sara...

- Don't expect me to believe that your assumptions about how things work are part of the program. Everyone here knows that you were not a high school teacher last year.

 Madame Bigot was a red-headed meïlith with very light blue skin. Her big green eyes opened more and more to Sara's insolence. Discreet and kind, she had indeed shown for some sessions difficulties in giving her course in a sufficiently clear manner. Suddenly, she gave a big blow on her desk with the flat of her hand.

- Enough! You will bring me your notebook at the bell. I cannot accept such behavior in this room. Class representative or good student, I don't care!

- Instead, say that you are unable to accept reality and the criticisms that go against your ineffective methods," Sara replied before taking out her notebook and putting it at the end of the table.

- Pardon? exclaimed the professor.

- Nothing. Nothing that you wouldn't be able to hear.

      She was dying to make him swallow her tongue with an atmos. Something that would have made her feel like making a fool of herself in front of all those students, but Laura Bigot would be in big trouble with the Grand Council of Atmology if she did so. However, she could already see herself joining hands, forming a skillful circle and whispering "Totopo lu hodo". A wooden cocoon would then have formed around Sarasvatî, who would have had no choice but to keep quiet. The pupils would then have said to each other "It is not necessary to joke with Mrs. Bigot! ». She would have earned the respect she had hoped for, continued her course and shared her intelligent theories on the functioning of the elements. Yet, instead...

- What's up? Are you going to take this notebook, yes or no? Instead of standing stupidly in front of me staring at me.

- Leave this room immediately Sara. You will have a report that you will remember for a long time. I would have liked to talk with you calmly, but it is obviously not possible.

- Anyway, it's going to ring. I would have liked to avoid this with you, but it seems to me that we have already talked about this problem. I won't be able to get a higher education with your damn theories. You simply have no right to do that. I'll talk to the director about it tomorrow. I'll see you soon.

       Madame Bigot kept talking, but Sara had already moved on. Then the bell rang. It was an unpleasant, strident, repetitive sound that she had never enjoyed hearing. She grabbed her black leather jacket and put it over her long sky-blue dress. Grabbing her bag, she walked towards the exit, expressionless. Her step was heavy, fast and sure. She didn't greet anyone and stopped at the door. Once in the hallway, Sara stretched out her arm and let her diamond shûmberr skin handbag dangle nimbly from her fingertips. Staring down at the large alley, a long sigh of impatience escaped from between her lips. Suddenly, a young sygreliad with long blond hair rushed towards her and grabbed her bag.

- Sorry Sara, I hadn't finished writing everything down. Damn, your bag is heavy today, what did you put in it?

- It's the weight of Madame Bigot's bullshit, did you see how it weighs?

  Annabelle smiled an embarrassed smile at him. Sara mimicked her expression by mimicking a despicable nonsense before continuing.

- Where's Marvin? Is he going to suck up to miss bullshit, or is he going to show up?

  A large wazardin with a tousled coat ran out of the room, jostling Sara and Annabelle as they passed by. He stumbled a few seconds later, knocking over all of his comrade's things in the hallway. His ruby eyes were lost in Sara's, who stared at him without blinking.

- Ah shit, I thought you two had left," he said, laughing and nervously scratching his head.

- Marvin, I think I'm going to destroy you and your whole family," Sara said dryly.

- But you still intend to continue to help me with the merçembuth history presentation?

- Maybe, if you pick up everything you just spilled in less than thirty seconds. After that time, I might purposely insert errors in your homework and insult the teachers to get you kicked out of school.

  Marvin swallowed his saliva and picked it all up, helped by Annabelle, who then picked up Sara's purse. They continued on their way out of the school. Snow was falling in large flakes on Lausya. It was a venckelbuth of the month of jalestar. This year's system was particularly cold. Every day, Sarasvatî, Annabelle and Marvin came home from school together because their homes were on the same road. Since middle school, the three teenagers had spent a lot of time together working on subjects in which they were struggling. Despite her bullying attitude, Sara knew she needed Annabelle's help in math. In return, she would help them out when they had arguments with other students, but also in other subjects where Annabelle and Marvin were not performing as well as she did.

- It took exactly twenty-four seconds to pick up everything," says Annabelle. That's it, you're saved for your homework Marvin!

- No, because you helped him so it doesn't count. So I'm not going to help you, too," Sara replied.

  Annabelle's face decomposed. The young sygreliad gradually slowed down her walk, when Sara suddenly ripped her purse from her hands.

- Oh, but we can't even laugh anymore? It's not possible that! I'll help you anyway, I'm not a monster ! We've known each other for a long time, seriously. You're the only two people I accept to talk to, stop being afraid like that for a little bit, otherwise I won't hang out with you anymore. 

- You'll have to excuse me Sara, but considering how mad you were at Madame Bigot earlier, it doesn't make you want to be more upset than that.

- You have nothing to do with it, I wouldn't be stupid enough to make you pay for miss bigou's incompetence. And what do you think of what I said to her? Did you understand what she was talking about?

- I don't know," Annabelle hesitated. I was interested in her ideas, but she did talk fast. Anyway, it wasn't going to last long. Do you really think that letting her talk a little bit about it from time to time is so bad?

- The problem is there, and you both need to think about it too. Like me, you would like to become good atmologists later on, wouldn't you? Imagine letting all of our teachers knock us out with their unproven hypotheses for five to ten minutes per hour-long class. Imagine, in total, how much time we will have wasted! That would mean that...

  Marvin grabs her by the arm and pulls her onto the road. Sara was so carried away by his explanation that she hadn't seen that it was time to cross.

- That would mean a lot of time would be lost," he added calmly. I know, it's okay. But only Madame Bigot does that. She is new, you said it yourself, and despite that she is still a good teacher!

  Sara stared at him before raising her eyes to the sky.

- How much did you get at his last checkup, Marvin? Honestly?

- I got 8 out of 20, and you know very well that I usually get half in organic classes!

- Marvin, you got 8 and I got 10, whereas in bio I normally go out with at least 16. She's not a good teacher. And I need a record that is relevant to my entry into the top universities in Mysticiën. I have tried to be patient, I have already talked to her about the situation but the very next day she does the same thing to me. I wish she had at least been honest and told me clearly that she would continue to do as she pleased.

- And if she had said that, are you sure you wouldn't have done something, like spilling all her stuff on the floor or yelling at her that she's just incompetent?

  Sara slowed down her walk slightly and began to contemplate the sky for a few seconds as a sign of reflection. Suddenly, her gaze returned to Annabelle.

- Yeah, you have a point. Are we still on for math tomorrow at 4:00?

- Yes, I have notified my parents. I leave you here, see you tomorrow!

  She walked away discreetly. Sara and Marvin watched the silhouette in the small white coat disappear in the distance towards the east of the city, rubbing her arms against herself to warm up before she could go home. Marvin patted Sara on the back before bursting into laughter.

- Hey, Marvin. Really, I'm going to end up killing you if you touch me a third time.

- You're not cool to make Annabelle carry your bag like that! Look how tiny and cute she is in her coat, she still looks like a little girl.

  They went the other way before Sara continued.

- I took advantage of this before she became a school principal. She will eat us all if we don't dominate her first. Look at her, with her little feet and her nice attitudes. She's hiding an evil genius, that's for sure.

- Aren't you projecting your own attitudes onto her?

- No. And you want to carry my bag instead maybe?

- I can't promise I'll never drop it if you let me do it, but we can always try, I guess.

  At the agreement of her words, she jumped up and down to try to slap him on the back of the head. Marvin ducked, and the two teenagers began to chase each other around town. The discussion turned into a brief snowball fight, won by Sarasvatî. In their bickering, they had reached Marvin's family home, which was still lying on the ground. Before he got up, Sara approached him with a huge amount of snow in her arms.

- What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Notorious Criminal? she asked comically.

      Marvin concentrated with all his strength and a pink glow covered him. Sara frowned, wondering what idiocy he was up to. A few seconds later, he had taken on the appearance of Sara herself.

- Nothing. Nothing that you wouldn't be able to hear. "He replied seriously and solemnly, to imitate Sara's phrase when she had argued with their teacher.

  When she understood, she covered her face with snow and started kicking him. Marvin laughed and laughed for a good five minutes before getting up and returning to his original shape.

- Wazardins, you are really dangerous people. I hope you don't take my appearance to do anything in front of others.

- Given the sanctions that await me if I do that, it's better that I avoid. Well, I'm out of here. Get home safe, and don't kill your brother if he's done something stupid, okay?

- Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow.

      Sara's home was a few dozen meters from here. All she had to do was cross a few roads, turn a couple of blocks, and she would find the park and then the building where she lived with her brother and mother. As she continued on her way silently, Sara got lost in her thoughts. She was still organizing her future, already imagining herself in a prestigious university, studying atmology as a Creator. The Creators combine the energies of Fire and Plants to fight and explore the world. What seduced Sara in this atmological discipline was the possibility of giving life to living creatures to fight at her side. Federating a team that she would have made entirely with her own hands... nothing could make her dream stronger.

    Suddenly, as she was walking at a brisk pace, her foot stumbled on a thick piece of carjaline, in the middle of a park that she travels home through every day. Intrigued, she stopped to observe it more closely. The thick black debris reflected an intense glow. She recognized the fragments of black tourmaline, through which the last rays of the sun were seeping, then she sighed at length. It was a mechanical arm, and Sara knew exactly where it came from.

- I guess it's not ironic to have one intervention a year since high school by the Guild of Renovators, while the mayor himself leaves his pieces of inventions lying around anywhere...

      She gave a huge kick to the robot arm. The noise resonated through the entire alloy. Sara looked a little further and recognized a hand also made of carjaline. Ecology was a cause that was close to her heart, also because she had become aware early on of the harmful effects that occur when no one pays attention to it. As she walked along the road again, she plunged into her memories. Many alloys and castings like these were not so easily recycled, and ended up impacting not only the fauna and flora, but also the people of Lausanne. As

    far back as she can remember, Oscar Fanghël, the mayor of Lausya, has always considered the town as an experimental field of choice to test his prototypes. No one ever really knew what he was creating so many of them for. No one ever knew why he did not stop despite the numerous requests of the people of Lausya, and even worse: no one ever knew why the GCA (Great Council of Atmosphology), or even the GCM (Great Council of Martial Arts), had never acted in the face of this problem. Still, some members of the Guilde des Rénovateurs came to the aid of the lausois, but with great discretion.

      Sara suspected well-disguised political shenanigans. She and other lausois knew that the ancestry of the Fanghël family was highly respected, had a long arm and could quickly come to grips with any opponent. This disturbing prospect probably kept many people silent. She swore to herself, however, that when she became powerful enough, Sara would make Oscar eat all his prototypes one after the other. She hoped that Annabelle, Marvin and her other friends would join her cause and that one day this city, and others suffering similar injustices, would become more effectively managed.

    She finally reached the square in her neighbourhood: a poorly maintained place, decorated with a few benches and children's games, half of which had been seriously damaged. Buildings rose up around her, as if they were contemplating her with all the coldness of the system. A cold draught suddenly woke her up, awakening a wave of shivers that ran down her spine. She clenched her teeth, cursed and started looking for her keys in her bag before reaching the entrance hall. Then a strange smell tickled her nostrils. She knew that smell well.

- Nanthilia? Seriously, some guys start smoking this early in the day?

      The fragrance was far too close for Sara to resist knowing who, in this neighborhood she knew on the tip of her fingers, was having fun rolling nanthilia joints. The local youth - and the youth from elsewhere - loved it for the fun and soothing psychic effects it provides. Sara then discreetly walked around the large building to the right, surreptitiously walked along the wall and bent down to see if there were people further away. She heard laughter, including one she could recognize from among a thousand. A group of four young boys sat on a bench at the back of the building and laughed loudly. She approached them discreetly. From then on, only a few centimeters separated her from the boys.

      One of them turned around and fell face to face with Sara. With a hiccup of surprise, he jumped up and tripped his butt first on the field of grass. She still had her arms folded and that imperturbable expression that described her so well.

- Oh damn it! cried the young man who had just fallen. Why didn't you say you were there, Sara?

      She didn't answer, then looked at another boy in the group. He was shorter than the others, had a black hair in a battle, big black eyes, and wore a red flannel shirt with white checks. He was the one with the nanthilia joint in his hands. His eyes were red with fatigue. When Sara saw the joint between her fingers, she raised her eyebrows without taking her eyes off it. The young man did not blink.

- Name of a kannidus, Sara. Do you want to become a cop for the GCs now or what's it like? You can shove your witchy eyes up your ass.

- Are you kidding me, Kieran? she replied.

      Sara moved towards him to rip the joint out of his hands, but in response, he backed away. She grabbed him by the arm and eventually ripped it off, threw it to the ground, and crushed it vigorously with the tip of her foot.

- We had an agreement between the two of us. You had to behave better and make an effort because I warned you about the consequences of this thing, and I find you three days later smoking with three idiots from the neighbourhood?

- Oh eh, that's good," replied one of them, ready to defend his cause.

      Feeling the anger rising, Sara turned to them as if to forbid them to dare to speak again. The boys preferred to stay there and walk away, stunned by the effects of the nanthilia. Sara began to feel tired and disappointed. She didn't take her eyes off Kieran, who, on the other hand, was very angry.

- You're really annoying when you get into it. I've already told you that this situation is my business! Why don't you want to get off my back, don't you have classes to study or whatever else you need to do in your corner with your nerdy friends?

      For the umpteenth time today, she sighed.

- We're talking about your future Kieran, I'm not doing this just to annoy you. I'm your sister, it's my job to warn you about the effects of these things! Do you realize that mercenaries and explorers use this to cause psychic disturbances on their opponents? Do you think it's normal to blow your head off with it?

- Yes! because it's my skull and I do what I want with it! I don't want to do mega-studies like you, me.

      She remained silent as Kieran assailed her with all her favorite phrases to express her desire for independence and freedom. Her tirades continued for minutes on end. In the hall, in the elevator, and until they entered the apartment. He slammed the front door with all his might.

- If you're going to sneak up on me like that all the time, I'm just going to end up breaking into someone else's house without telling anyone! I'm tired of having you on my ass, you understand that? You're pissing me off!

- You're not doing what you want here Kieran," she shouted back. You're fourteen years old, you're a minor, you don't have to make these kinds of decisions, let alone talk to me like that! And if you want to run away, I'm going to find you whether you like it or not!

      This time it was the door to Kieran's room that slammed. A few seconds later, he launched a hard rock song at maximum volume. Sara was about to tell him to turn it down, but when she put her hand on the latch, she heard him turn the key in the lock. She put her hands to her hair and growled in irritation before going into the kitchen. The room was dirty, dimly lit with a light that Sara often described as "too white. Tired from work, her mother Naska didn't always have time to clean the apartment. Kieran would never get down to it, and Sara was far too busy working on her lessons.Putting her purse on the floor, she abruptly pulled out one of the chairs and dropped herself on it, taking her head in her hands and closing her eyes. A warm smell of boiled yone permeated the room. Naska, was cooking. Sara hated boiled food. It was the worst day she could have hoped for.

- Then my dear, why did your brother go to his room? Why are you still arguing? she asked softly.

- I've already come out of a class given by a poor incompetent and when I get downstairs, I find him smoking nanthilia with a bunch of jerks from the neighborhood. I had spoken with him not even a week ago, he told me that he understood and that he was going to make an effort, and look what he's doing!

- Don't be hard on your brother, honey.

- But how can I not be hard on him when he literally doesn't care about the world?

- You know that the situation is not easy for Kié. He needs time to act, and he's a young boy. Give him some time.

- If I'm the only one trying to be a little firmer with him, frankly, it's not going to help him. At some point you're going to have to do something serious. Let me remind you that I'm the one who pays for the private lessons that Amaëlle gives him! I work two days a week to help with homework for those in difficulty, but also to pay for her lessons! It's not by getting high on nanthilia every night that he's likely to learn things and use his memory well. I don't want to do that for nothing, it also impacts me, you understand?

      Naska marked a time of silence. Busy with her dish, she grabbed a bowl of spices and poured a tiny part of it into the broth she was preparing. She then drained the fragrant rice before continuing.

- You should relax a little bit Sara. I know you do a lot, but you could ask Amaelle for an advance for the classes.

- No. I'm not going to do that. I just want Kieran to get to work.

- Be patient, there is no reason to get into all these states. You must not push him to leave the house. I will be sad if something happens to him.

- I am already patient. All the time. And so am I...

      Sara felt that no matter what she might say, her mother would remain relaxed, or at least pretend to. Between the loud music played in her brother's room, the smell of boiled yone that was going to make her nauseous, and that incarnation with Madame Bigot earlier, she began to think that spending the evening here would be a bad idea. So she went to her room and made a call to Marvin.

- Hello Mrs. Solenelle?" he answered.

- Marvin, can I come to your house tonight?

- It depends on what for. Like, if it's for the presentation, I'm okay with it.

- Do you have fresh choums? Do you still have your two controllers to play with? Do you have an interesting topic of discussion in mind?

- Wow, we have a real program here, don't we?

- Yes or no?

- Yeah, yeah, it's quiet. Are you sure you're okay, Sara?

- I'll be there in five minutes. I'm sleeping at your place.

- Well, okay. I'll see you in a minute.