#so so pretty . auah

[lunawings]

The Day Before the School Festival, in the Home Economics Room... (a King of Prism short story)

A legend from ancient times. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this may be the first King of Prism story ever published? 

So, a little history: This short script was first printed in 2D Star Vol 2 back in October 2015, when King of Prism was just barely a thing. It was then directly referenced in the first King of Prism movie (screenshot at the end). Following this it was re-worked into an audio drama released on the movie soundtrack. (Then finally it was re-printed in the Music Ready Sparking fanbook, which is the version my translation was based on...)

(More notes and story under cut)

Translator’s notes: So the text below is based on the original script, not the audio drama. So if you listen to the audio drama you may find small differences such as lines missing/added or spoken by different characters. (I caught a few while editing, but there may be more I didn’t notice.) The biggest difference between the written and audio versions is the introduction to the audio drama was significantly abridged and I don’t blame them. The original Japanese text is really confusing for the first couple paragraphs and I had to re-write it over and over again. (They phrase it like Lu Seriana is a dance school but it’s... not?) Here it is, so if want to have a look. Let me know if you find any discrepancies.

This story takes place a year after Over the Rainbow was formed, in May. So about a year after the Rainbow Live anime but before King of Prism. In other words, the boys haven’t met Shin yet. Since you were kind enough to read my notes, you can find a link to the audio drama in the period of this sentence. The timing of this story’s release would mean the game Hiro is playing is more likely the now defunct Pretty Rhythm Shake, if anything haha. (Prism Rush was a twinkle in some game designer’s eye when this was written.)

And now without further ado.... 

The Day Before the School Festival, in the Home Economics Room...

It was the beginning of May when the cherry blossom petals had already fallen and new buds were beginning to sprout. This is when Kakyoin Academy holds their annual school festival, the “Kakyou Fest”. Kakyoin Academy is an all-boys junior and senior high school managed by Edel Rose, a organization founded by the late Kou Norizuki, which is known all over for being the best of the best. 

The elite beginner prism training school “Edel Rose”, and the combined junior and senior high all-girls school “Lu Seriana Girls Academy” are just two examples of the many institutions all over the country under the large umbrella of dance schools which educate strongly through prism show activities. The male students of Edel Rose attend Kakyoin Academy for their basic education.

Due to the extreme popularity which comes with Kakyoin Academy having a student body of promising future stars, as soon as the annual school festival arrives fans from all over the country come running. The main target of said female fans is the prism show unit Over the Rainbow, formed about one year prior. Top solo idol Hiro Hayami had joined together with genius songwriter Kouji Mihama and charismatic street star Kazuki Nishina to form this same age, three member group. 

The previous year a concert had been planned at the festival, but due to the large crowd it was cancelled at the last minute. This year it was announced in advance that Over the Rainbow would not be performing, which left many fans in disappointment. 

It was those three popular stars who had secretly gathered the night before the Kakyo Fest in an empty home economics classroom...

Kazuki: Hey, is it really okay for us take the stage tomorrow?

Kouji: Yup! I got proper permission from the school and everything.

Hiro: Gah! Huah! ... But if we announce that we’re going to take the stage it will just be cancelled again like last year. Hiyah! This year have to take care to make sure it’s a surprise. Woah!

Kazuki: Well that’s all well and good but... Hiro, what are you doing there anyway?

Hiro: It’s a rhythm game. It’s a prism show game about us. You know, one of those smartphone apps. It’s pretty difficult. Auah! But my song “pride” is in it... Hah!

Kazuki: I see.... Well, what are we actually going to do on stage tomorrow, anyway? Well, I’m assuming a prism show, but... 

Kouji: Well, about that. Actually...

Kazuki: Oh yeah, you wrote it about in the email didn’t you? ...Hey, wait. Hold on a sec. I guess I left my phone in the classroom. I’ll be right back! 

Kouji: Okay. 

*click, click*

Kazuki: Huh? I can’t open the door! 

Kouji: What!?

Hiro: Is it locked?

Kazuki: Yeah. 

Hiro: I’ll go check the other door. I wonder if someone could have locked it without noticing we were in here?*

(*In the audio drama the second line is spoken by Kouji.)

Kazuki: But the lights are on, so I’d think they would notice... 

Kouji: Kakyouin Academy has an auto-lock system. So it’s possible the doors just lock automatically after a certain time. 

Hiro: It’s no good. This door is locked too.

Kazuki: So does that mean we’re just stuck here now?

Kouji: I’ll try and contact the janitor... huh? Where’s my phone? Ah! I left all my stuff back in the classroom too. 

Kauzki: Hiro, could you call someone? You’re the only one of us who has a phone. 

Hiro: Okay! No prob!

*beep*

Hiro: Huh?

Kazuki: What’s wrong? Did something happen?

Hiro: The battery is dead... 

Kazuki: WHAT! Hiro, it’s because spend day to night playing too many games! Now what do we do?

*click click* *click click* *bang bang bang*

Kazuki: What is with this door! It won’t budge an inch! 

Hiro: That’s Kakyoin Academy for you. You sure can feel safe and secure here!

Kazuki: What are you so excited about!? 

Kouji: If we go about making a big racket we’re just going to end up causing trouble for the school. So simmer down a bit, okay?

Kazuki: ...Kouji, you’re so calm... Well, I guess you’re right. Panicking isn’t going to get us anywhere. 

Kouji: Oh yeah! I’m starting to get hungry, shall I make us something?

Hiro: Good idea! I’m starving! 

Kazuki: And how are you expecting to make something here!?

Kouji: Easy! This is a home economics classroom so there’s bound to be some food in here somewhere. 

Kazuki: Well... I’m sure you’re right, but there probably isn’t going to be much to work with. 

Kouji: Look, look! There’s meat, fish, vegetables, and even seasoning! 

Hiro: They are probably using this space to store ingredients for the festival food stalls. 

Kazuki: But is it really okay for us to use this stuff?

Kouji: This is an emergency situation! We’ve got no choice. Hang on everyone. 

Hiro: Suddenly this got exciting!

Kazuki: Good grief. What did we even come in here for anyway? ...Oh yeah! We’re doing a prism show tomorrow, right?

Hiro: Actually, no. We’ve been told we can’t perform a prism show because it will cause a big commotion again. 

Kazuki: Oh. Well then what are we gonna--

Kouji: Sorry to keep you waiting! 

Kazuki: That was fast! Finished already? 

Kouji: Yeah! I wanted to make sure to get it to you while it’s still hot.

Hiro: Woah! What’s all this? 

Kouji: Well, first up is amuse-bouche.

Kazuki: W-What did you say? A music bush!?

Kouji: It’s a French appetizer. Something to cleanse your palette with. 

Hiro: Oooh! Today you’ve made us a French full course?

Kazuki: K-Kouji! Don’t tell me you’re making a full course meal in a home economics classroom!?

Kouji: Why not? After all, it’s even more important to build up your strength when you find yourself in a pinch, right? 

Kazuki: Well... I guess so but...

Hiro: I agree with Kouji! Well. And what do we have here?

Kouji: “In a fateful encounter between the octopus conveniently laying around in the home economics room for takoyaki and the dice cut tomatoes for tacos, cold marinade Napoleon Bonaparte's Campaign in Egypt assortment”!

Kazuki: What a name! What kind of a dish is it!? Napoleon did what now?

Hiro: I’m sure we’ll find out when we try it. *gulp* *chew* Amazing! The refreshing sensation of Napoleon’s arrival in Egypt is spreading through my mouth!

Kazuki: Woaah! This is great! I don’t really know what it has to do with Egypt, but you’ve really outdone yourself, Kouji! To think even in a tight spot like this you still bring your A game to the table...

Kouji: Eheh, thank you! Next is the hors d'oeuvre. “With a fresh egg taken this morning from ‘Hana-chan’ in the school hen house and the spring cabbage raised in the back garden by the principal, all conveniently found in the home economics classroom, in the style of Vasco da Gama’s Arrival the Cape of Good Hope!”

Kazuki: First Napoleon and now Vasco da Gama!? What is all of this supposed to represent?

Kouji: Just try it and you’ll see!

Kazuki: You’ve sure got a lot of confidence in us...

Hiro: E-Exquisite! Aaah... I’m filled with the joy of seeing the Cape of Good Hope after such a long journey. All the deliciousness spreads far across the horizon!

Kazuki: Y.. Yeah... I guess it tastes something like that. But anyway, this really is good. Unbelievable... 

Kouji: Next is “With potage of barbecued corn on the cob conveniently found in the home economics room, Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address assortment”!

Kazuki: Now we’re going American...? I don’t know what the theme is anymore... 

Hiro: Oooh! Amazing! This is truly a potage of the people, by the people, for the people! 

Kazuki: Y... Yeah.. it’s good... I’m not quite sure what part of it has to do with Abraham Lincoln, but the flavor accent thanks to the barbecued corn is superb. ..Wait, is that a reference to southern America? Because you can grow corn there?

Kouji: Eheh. And now the main poisson, “Meunière with red sea bream caught in Akashi and conveniently left in the home economics classroom, in the style of Sakanoue no Tamuramaro shogun’s inauguration celebration with the white radish sprouts raised with love and care on a windowsill by Tamachi-sensei.” Bon appetite! 

Kazuki: I don’t even know where to begin with this one... This looks like a meal from a five-star restaurant...  What about Tamuramaro shogun.....

Hiro: Delicious! I feel like I could conquer the entire world at this rate!

Kazuki: It’s good... it’s so good I think I’m gonna cry....

Hiro: Eheh I’ll wipe your tears for you. 

Kazuki: Thank you, Hiro... To think I’d eat something so good it would bring me to tears... Thank you, Kouji. Thank you, Hiro...

Hiro: Eheh. 

Kouji: And last but not least, dessert! “Fondant au chocolat using the chocolate dipped bananas conveniently left in the home economics classroom with cotton candy and caramelized strawberry crepes. All with love... from the home economics classroom”! 

(In the audio drama Hiro has an extra line about how sweet it smells.)

Kazuki: This one doesn’t have a historical figure attached to it... But we can’t escape the “conveniently left in the home economics classroom” ....

Kouji: Oh, I forgot! “To be eaten while Marcus Aurelius Antoninus of the Five Good Emperors of the Roman Empire reminisces of the other four!”

Kazuki: Of course!

Kouji: I’ve only just began to dive into the art of French cuisine, so I’m still working on the naming part...

Kazuki: Amazing... It sure doesn’t seem like you’ve only just began... It doesn’t matter what you call it if it tastes like this....

Hiro: Aaah, I’m so full! Thanks for the feast! It was truly delicious! 

Kazuki: Thanks for the meal! I can’t believe how good that was. It was my first time eating such delicious French food like that. Thank you, Kouji. 

Kouji: You’re welcome! It makes me happy to see the two of you smile! 

Kazuki: Huh..? You know what, all of a sudden I’m not so stressed out anymore. 

Hiro: You’re right! Every inch of me is ready and rearing to go! 

Kouji: Eheh I’m glad! Stress can be built up easily by throwing off your body rhythm by skipping meals and missing sleep. So Hiro, make sure you’re always getting three good meals every day, okay?

Hiro: I know, I know! 

Kazuki: Huh? All this time I thought being stuck in this home economics classroom was the source of my stress, but... All of a sudden I feel much better. 

Kouji: Well then, shall we discuss what to do on stage tomorrow?

Hiro: Sure!

Kazuki: Oh yeah! That’s right! I almost forgot! You said we’re not allowed to perform a prism show? So what the heck are we going to do then?

Kouji: Well, about that....

*fwip*

Kazuki: ?

Kouji: Ta-daa! Look what I made!

Kazuki: Huh?

Hiro: Oooh! That’s our Kouji! You really outdid yourself!

Kouji: Thanks!

Kazuki: Huuh?

Hiro: Which one are you going to take, Kouji?

Kouji: I think I’ll go with purple. 

Kazuki: Wait...

Hiro: Ah, so you made them according to our theme colors, huh? In that case the light blue one is mine!

Kazuki: Hold on a minute!

Hiro: And green is for you, Kazuki.

Kazuki: No, stop!

Kouji/Hiro: ..? What’s eating you?

Kazuki: This is women’s clothing! 

Kouji/Hiro: ...Exactly. 

Kazuki: ...”Exactly”?! Why are you acting so weird?

Kouji: We aren’t “acting”...

Hiro: This is what we are going to wear on stage. 

Kazuki: WHHAAAaaaAAAT!?

Kouji: We’re going to be in the Kakyo Fest Beauty Contest! It’s a surprise!

Hiro: Since Kakyoin Academy is an all-boys school, the crown is always held by a girl from another school. But this year we’re going to bring it back home no matter that!

Kazuki: ... *twitch* Sorry guys, I’m not feeling so good. I think I’ll go on home...

*click click*

Kazuki: Oh that’s right! We’re locked in here!

Hiro: Well then, let’s start working on our makeup. 

Kazuki: EEK!

Kouji: I got Ito to teach me about how to put on makeup just for today!

*click click click* *clickclickclickclickclick*

Kazuki: SOMEONE HELP ME! SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE! 

*thump thump thump thump*

Hiro: What are you doing over there, Kazuki? Come join us! We’re stuck in here until morning anyway. Let’s all just relax and take our time getting ready for tomorrow! 

Kazuki: AHH! EEK! NO! W... WAIT...! 

Kouji: Come on over! What are you waiting for! 

Hiro:  We’ll start with your foundation... ♡

Kouji: Just close your eyes!  It will only take a sec... ♡

Kazuki: N-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #41 Transcript

This episode has French fashion in the 11th century.

Narrator: Previously on Hetalia, it was the 11th century. Britain decided to grow his hair out like France so he too could be the pinnacle of fashion. He tried to hide it from Mr. Bishop because he did not approve. Of course, that turned out not so good for him.

{Caption #1: Hair and clothes medieval England}

{Caption #2: Revenge}

Chibi Britain: This blows. I tried so hard to grow my hair out, but it just wouldn’t cooperate.

Lake voice: Are you really going to be sad over something that’s literally hair?

{Caption: *Voice of the lake owner}

Chibi Britain: No way. I’m not giving up on my super coif yet. If I really try, I can become cool like France!

Child France: Hey, Britain!

(Chibi Britain: Auah!)

Child France: What’s shakin’?

Chibi Britain’s thoughts: That’s France’s voice!

Child France: Ahonhonhonhon! Ahonhonhonhon! Ahon! Ahonhonhonhon! Britaaain! Ohonhonhonhonhon!

Chibi Britain: WHAT THE HELL?! YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!

(Child France: Ahonhonhonhon!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britain: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Chibi Britain: Well, chap, are you going to tell me why you’re dressed like my Aunt Fanny?

Child France: You’re so dreary. This is the latest fashion. Everybody tries to dress like this at my place now. When I spin around like this, I feel just like a flower petal in the wind trying hard to burst into song.

Chibi Britain: Pretty dresses really aren’t my thing, but you go, girl. I prefer clothes that make me feel like a man. Tweed or houndstooth or a breezy kilt.

Child France: Huhoh? What? You can’t see how absolutely fabulous I look in capri blue? Too bad. I have this cherry shirt.

Chibi Britain: For real? You’re more a winter---AUAH! That looks like my size!

Child France: Auh, don’t worry about it. I could always try to wear it like a mantel, eh? With arms.

Chibi Britain: Well, don’t stretch the neck like a buffoon! I’ll wear it.

{Caption: Pop Pop}

Narrator: In the 11th century…I know, snore, but this involves fashion and crossdressing, so it’s like history, but fun. In the 11th century, dudes started dressing like girls in long, fluttering tunics that the intellectuals hated because it set the nethers free, if you get my drift. Because of the Norman conquest, anything cool in France would end up in Britain, where it would get twisted into something somehow less fashionable but more gay.

Child France: Hmhm!

{Caption #1: British tailor}

{Caption #2: [Norman Conquest] The Norman people’s resignation to the English…it was very obvious}

British man: I can’t believe they want me to make girly clothes now for all the men. This is so embarrassing for me!

British woman: Auah!

{Caption: 1090s}

{Caption: Long hair}

Man [narrating]: Long hair.

{Caption: Long tunic}

Man #2 [narrating]: Long tunic.

British old man: What is wrong with kids these days?!

{Caption: 1990s}

{Caption: Long hair}

Man #3 [narrating]: Long hair.

{Caption: Saggy pants}

Man #4 [narrating]: Saggy pants.

American old man: What is wrong with kids these days?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

France: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

France: Look, Spain! Wow! Aren’t I just as pretty as a princess?

Spain: Si, muy caliente!

(Si, muy caliente!: Yes, very hot! → Spanish)

Spain: And you could probably carry around a lot of snacks in those puffy sleeves.

France: 🎵Somebody thinks I’m super pretty now!🎵 Honhonhonhon!

Spain: Yep, you look really cool in that.

France: Ohonhonhonhon! You’re making me blush! Ohonhonhonhon! Honhon! Ohonhonhon…

Chibi Romano’s thoughts: What a fool. Flattery leads to resentful destruction, huh?

{Caption: When Spain thinks it’s really good}

Spain: OHHHHOHOHOHOHOWOW! Ay, Dios mio, I can’t believe you gave me a rusty sword of awesomeness!

(Dios mio: (Oh) My God → Spanish)

Spain: I’ll never let it out of my sight; I’ll sleep with it and name it Jorge! Heaheaheaheheaheaheah…

Chibi Romano: It’s just garbage.

{Caption: It’s easy to understand and he likes it ♡}

Spain: Heaheaheah…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Romano: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Chibi Britain: The last two times, I got called out because of my clothes, but it’s different this time. With this cloak, I can secretly research any French fashion trend in complete anonymity. First, I’ll anticipate the next fashion trend in France. Next, I’ll make them even better, wear them, and stick them up France’s stupid wine sniffing nose. And then France will get all mad and spitty. Hmhmhmhmhm! My plan is foolproof and in no time, I’ll be a silky haired French snob with trendy clothes. Hah! That idiot! He’ll never expect a super cloak sneak attack on his worldly fashion domination. No sir! Now then, I’ll go spy on him and see. Huah! AAUGH! Auah! Uagh…

Man: Hey there, kid. Are you okay?

Chibi Britain: Auahuahuahuahuah…

Narrator: Serious codpiece. Basically what we got here is a pocket that doubles as a giant fake penis. Hooray fashion! I am personally daring any of you to try and bring that one back.

{Caption: Codpiece}

[thetourguidebarbie]

In light of the drama of the past week, could you list some of the best things about the fandom and some of the people and have them pass it along so that we can all be a happy family again?

Here are fifty people that I love and one thing i love about them in alphabetical order OBVIOUSLY THIS IS NOT EVERYONE I LOVE but I didn’t want to do more than fifty XD I’m sorry this took a week i just needed time to sit down and take a breather lol

SO MOVING ONTO SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT THIS FANDOM: i love how resilient we are and how much we support each other, and there are so many great artists and thinkers in this fandom and so many people who inspire others and it’s just like… BEAUTIFUL??? Like I have no words

@3tinkgemini is so sweet and writes AWESOME ADVENTUROUS SMUT.

@accidental-rambler is super smart and nice and writes amazing fic and like SO INSPIRING??? i get so many ideas from her existence like RACECAR DRIVER MODEL AU HAS TAKEN OVER THE BACK OF MY THOUGHTS AND WON’T LEAVE

@arustykiss just like the most supportive amazing nice person??? MY WIFE MY LOVE STILL WAITING ON THE SEQUEL TO THE HAREM FIC IT’S BEEN 84 YEARSSSS also literally one of the reasons i kept writing in the beginning. ALSO MORE WTICH BLOWJOBS???? 

@katejgecko THE FLAILSSS?? LIKe the warm fuzzies are so REALL

@candycolamorgan the best starbucks writing partner to ever live basically

@captndevil SO NICE AND LOVELY and like THE WRITING like your smut is perfection and your characterization is On POinTTT like how

@cbk1000 I have learned way too much history through osmosis and also THE SASS and the appropriate smackdowns i appreciate jenn so much

@chica-cherry-lola *DIES FROM ELABORATE BEAUTIFUL INSPIRING HEADCANONS* THE BEST ENABLER EVER RIGHT HEREEEE also like the weasley brother obsession I HAVE FOUND MY HARRY POTTER SHIPPING SOULMATE TBH

@cupcakemolotov the best giver  of real talk on this side of the planet. also v impressive unimpressed faces

@delightfullysunny such a good listener??? and like so nice and sweet and HER REVIEWS NEVER FAIL TO LEAVE ME INSPIRED AND WANTING TO WRITE like !!!!

@dreamsarefleeting WROTE ME ONE OF MY FAV BIRTHDAY FICS OF ALL TIME like I have reread it over and over and OVER and is also just a genuinely amazing person I WILL TREASURE THE MEMORIES OF DIM SUM FOREVER

@fanfantasticworld  HOW dAREEE someone make such beautiful covers??? Like I AM IN AWE CONSTANTLY

@garglyswoof AMAZING WRITER LIKE I WILL TREASURE THE PAINTING FIC FOR ALL MY YEARS and also like one of the best betas i’ve ever had??? 

@goldcaught Master enabler, idea pitcher, and general ball of sunshine HOW ARE YOU A PERSON

@gooddame THE KLAROLINE FANFIC FAIRY who just like POPS IN with beautiful fic STILL WAITING ON MORE POKER AU I NEED IT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

@hellsbellschime SHE HAS THE SECOND AND THIRD BEST CATS IN THE WORLD (though we disagree on order of ranking) and also just champion human in general 

@honestgrins HER FICS GIVE ME LIFE like her AUAH is perfection and it gives me SO MANY FEELINGS SO MANYYYY the THEATER AU M OR GANNN I AM STILL DECEASED IN AFTERSHOCKS

@howeverlongs general gifset queen I AM ENVIOUS OF HER SORCERY

@hummingbirds-and-champagne Wrote literally my favorite KC fic of all time, writes BEAUTIFUL HARRY POTTER AUs, IS JUST GENERALLY AMAZING. I might still take you up on that roommate offer Elle like OUR ONLY SOLACE IN THIS TIME IS CANADA

@hurricanesandheartbreak how dare anyone be this nice and like also HER SASS IS JUST GENERALLY DAY BRIGHTENING

@itsnotacrimetoloveyou LLUIZAAA MY QUEEN OF FEARLESS SMUTTY ADVENTURES I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love your fics and you’re just so sweet and like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you so much

@jinxedwood BaTtLEE LinESSSS!!!

@joey-prue beautiful gifsets and so supportive ??? like LITERALLY ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLe

@justanotherfiveminutes A blessing to the world TBH like I AM STILL WRITING BECAUSE OF YOU SOPHIE AND IM NOT SORRY

@kirythestitchwitch HILARIOUS HUMAN and like her REVIEWS i am like genuine trash for them and look forward to them and whenever i get them in my box I SMILE LIKE AN IDIOT LIKE !!

@klarolinedrabbles A blessing to this fandom and fabulous writer and hilarious clapbacks and honestly just like the greatest ever?? ALSO WHERE IS THE WEREWOLF FIC *SLAMS TABLE* GIVE IT TO ME

@klarolineforevermine Literally reading her tags on OTHER PEOPLES THINGS just like make me want to write IMMEDIATELY and she gives excellent prompts and is just like the nicest???? ever?????????

@klarolinekolvina so so so so SO sweet and nice and supportive and ALWAYS has a kind word to say. ALSO THE HOCKEY FIC like ! i adored it!!!

@lalainajanes literally one of the funniest people i know. AMAZING writer. excellent life advice. Shares my dislike for The Kyles of the world

@lilbreck A++++ FANDOM MOM and FEARLESS SHIPPER OF RARE PAIRS and like supportive and sweet but STILL WILL SMACK YOU DOWN IF YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE love her so much

@littlebirdofthenorth My organizing buddy!! WEREWOLF FICCC Commiserates about the gift exchanges with my whining ass XD

@lynyrdwrites CROSSOVER QUEEN and light of my fusion life (unless she’s writing angst then BYE but  i say that with love and affection AND ALSO SOMEHOW I’M NOW WRITING PAIN SO I GUESS??? IT WORKED????)

@maevelin SOME OF THE BEST METAS and great cover maker and HER WRITING IS AMAZINGGGG like no one does klaus like her tbh

@makemeamilkshake​ FELLOW JEREMY/TYLER TRASH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE MUST WORK TOGETHER TO BRING MORE OF IT INTO THE WORLD YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE

@megansarah11 My little!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO SMUSH HER CUTIE PIE NICENESSS IN A HUG WHENEVER WE TALK

@misssophiachase IF YOU WANT FIC TO CHEER YOU UP HERE IT IS!!! the fluff is AMAZING and it always gives me warm fuzzies and just MAKES MY DAY BRIGHTER

@mon-amour-eternel FELLOW LOVER OF ORIGINAL!KC HOW DID WE NOT MEET EARLIER like my NEW FAV tbh I’m such trash and I have DEVOURED everything she has written

@seriouslyinlove GIFSET MAGICIAN??????? I HAVE NO OTHER WORDS BECAUSE I’M TOO  BUSY BEING IN AWE

@paigemarie007 she’s so nice and her asks brighten my day and never fail to make me happy!! also gives great prompts!!

@princess-of-the-worlds SUCH CREATIVE IDEAS AND ENDLESS KINDNESS HOW DOES ONE DO IT and like, such a good writer??? LIKE YOU ARE TINY HOW DO YOU DO IT

@purestheartslove HER AESTHETICS GIVE ME SUCH JOY like I remember looking at the one she made for travelers and like nearly bursting into tears I WAS SO OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION

@she-walked-away FUNNY SWEET HUMAN WHO WRITES AMAZING SMUT AND THE MOST ADORABLE FLUFFY AUAH HER CAROLINE IS ON POINT AND I DEVOUR EVERYTHING SHE WRITES BECAUSE IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL also kaitlyn MORE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET i gave you extra credit its’ the least you can do right??? right!

@that-wandering-belle So sweet and shy and like I have SO MANY FEELINGS i miss Anything Can Happen with all of my heart and soul and love the Arrangement and LOOK WAHT SHE WROTE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY IT’S SO CUTE AND PRETTY AND DELICIOUSLY SMUTTY

@these-dreams-go-on KLAROLINE AND KALIJAH SOULMATE!! We share a love for Katherine Pierce that CAN NEVER BE RIVALED! I CRY AT NIGHT BECAUSE OF THE ANGST AND THEN MY HEART SOARS WHEN IT IS RESOLVED HER STORIES WRECK ME

@supremeuppityone Has scandalously saucy smut ;) Every time i have tlaked to her she’s just been so nice and welcoming and supportive BUY HER BOOK

@wanderlust-in-nyc the sass is real with this one!! I love all her one shots and her beautiful interpretations of KC! She has such a unique writing style that really captures emotion and i love it SO MUCHHH

@xxafterthestormxx one of my FAVORITE AUAH writers and just a fabulous friend!!! ALSO I SWEAR I WILL GET THAT OLIMIONE FIC DONE AT SOME POINT BUT I’M JUST GLAD SOMEONE IS IN THE TRASH BIN WITH ME

[lexiewrites]

Fic Meme 2016

The obligatory end-of-year fic meme (spend, like, an hour hunting down the one I did for 2015, only to find it in my drafts folder, ugh.)

Twilight

The Brief History of Us

A Million Blinking Promises

The Ones We Left Behind

Memento Mori

Total number of completed stories: 3 posted, 1 ready to go, which is shocking.

Total word count: Completed, posted fic: 34,000, plus another 40k of unposted works current works, and numerous scribbles and bits. 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? Less, I was hoping on getting Hybrid ready to post, Memento Mori isnt posted because it enjoys being difficult, Aristeia’s next five chapters should absolutely have been posted. I am not a human, just a sentient pile of Writing To Dos posing as a human.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? I haven’t been particularly experimental this year, tbh. Sticking to the tried and true. I have dabbled with some Hawkeye Squared though, does that count?

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? The Brief History of Us.  That came together really well, and I got some shocker reviews for it. I think the word limit did stifle it a little, and I’m still iffy with the beta process it went through, but I like it. I still plan to one day write the entire opus. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?Having the confidence to pitch a novel for my honours project, based on Ricochet. LOL, what the hell was I thinking? 

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? Well, my honours project Bravura has to be written, edited, printed and bound by June LOL. I want Aristeia to continue, desperately, and I desperately want to get one of my Jan fics going, and hopefully get Hybrid off the ground. 

My best story of this year:   

My most popular story:  A Million Blinking Promises. The fact that it was the longest multichapter allowed it to be more visible than the others, though. 

 Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:  The Brief History of Us. Easily. 

Most fun story to write:  They were all about the same, tbh. I always enjoy writing. 

Most Sexy Story:  None of them are particularly sexual, tbh.

Story with the single sexiest moment:  From The Brief History of Us

 As perfect as the way she looks as he slides her gown from her shoulders—as he falls to his knees to press kisses to her, her fingers tangling in his hair. She is everything—a princess, a goddess, the axis upon which his world sits—as he sighs against the skin of her stomach, pausing only to look up at her, her eyes darkened in desire, her love wrapping around him with a new kind of certainty.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  None this year, shockingly enough. From the writer that brought you Aristeia and that strange ‘possessed Saturn and Uranus disembowel Neptune’ WIP, everything has been above board so far. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:  

Hardest story to write:  The Brief History of Us, definitely. Between the word count, and trying to piece together this kind of idea I hadn’t quite pinned down, it was a struggle. 

Most disappointing:  There are some glaring issues with The Ones We Left Behind that I have to fix. 

Easiest story to write:  Memento Mori, definitely. Which is why I’m so ticked off the editing process has been so abysmal. 

Biggest surprise:  The Brief History of Us, because this is the sort of story I write a lot of, but never ever post. 

Most unintentionally telling story:  I’m going to say The Brief History of Us, even though ten years on I still have no idea what this question means. 

Story I’d like to revise:  The Ones We Left Behind; I’d like to expand The Brief History of Us too. 

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear:  For MCU, Miniature Disasters (Darcy) is due to be finished and posted, so help me god. I want to get Rebel Yell (Kate Bishop), Down but Never Out (my crazy Darcy Dark Angel/MCU xover), and perhaps Golden Girl (post CW Jan/Wanda fic) going in more than a few nebulous scenes. Elastic Hearts (Jan/Steve) needs to be finished, too. 

For Sailor Moon, This is the Way a Heart Breaks and Elephant deserve to be finished up. I’m pretty sure I lost all of my Sailor Moon files when my last laptop died, so I’m still kind of mourning everything that was amongst that, tbh. 

For Twilight, I want All These Broken Things fucking done and posted. A Thousand Years of Solitude, too, deserves to be finished up. I really want to get The Dark and the Unknown drafted, as well as the untitled Jessamine/Alice AU, the AUAH ‘tattoo’ fic finished, and get one of the large chapter fics ready to go - maybe Hybrid, but Runaway and Magnolia have equal potential there. I’m currently using The Long Way Around as the basis for some 31_days shorts, so I might leave that one for the moment. 

And, obviously, I need to get Bravura done for uni so I can graduate. Honestly, after I finished Bravura and submit it, I plan to spend the second-half of 2017 trying to find a publisher for it, and just writing fic as a reward for finishing my degree. 

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #39 Transcript

This episode has Prussia giving Hungary his cloak and Germany's Kübelwagen.

Prussia: Oh…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prussia: Auah…let me think for a sec. It’s the only way. I’ll have to tear off yet another part of my clothes for treating your wound.

Prussia’s thoughts: Oh no, that’s right! That crapwad is a trick!

{Caption #1: Touch Touch}

{Caption #2: Meow Meow}

{Caption: Shock!}

Prussia: Nuahhh…

Hungary: What’s wrong now? Prussia? Mm. These things. Yeah, I know. It’s pretty weird, right? Hahaha! My muscles are so big! Hahahaha! Hah! Ah…

(Prussia: Eauh…)

Hungary: Oh, I’m sorry. I know that’s not what’s bothering you. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me.

Prussia: Uah!

Hungary: Mm. I guess I always knew I was different. In terms of physical strength, I could see it. I wasn’t like all the other boys.

Prussia: Hoh…

Hungary: I think it might be time now to start acting like a fricking lady. Oh? Ohuah…

Prussia: You can keep it. Well then…bye.

Hungary: Oah? Ohah…hold on a sec! I hope he’s okay.

(Gilbird: Maap maap maap maap maap maap maap maap MAAP maap maap maap!)

Hungary’s thoughts: Well, I guess he’s kind of hot from behind. But he’s too ape-like.

(Gilbird: Maap maap maap maap maap maap maap maap!)

Hungary’s thoughts: Oh, yeah, he was raised by apes.

{Caption #1: Since he was born}

{Caption #2: Just men!}

Hungary’s thoughts: So I guess it’s not really his fault.

Narrator: And after that, Miss Hungary made a choice. She decided to settle in Austria’s house for reasons which, quite frankly, escape me.

(Hungary: Hmmmmhmmmmhmmhmm…)

Prussia: Hey, you! Why are you dressed in women’s clothes? You should go hunting! With me!

(Hungary: Hmmhmmhmhmm…)

Hungary: I’m so sorry. But guns and death are not really my thing. Emmemmemm…

Narrator: Okay, cuckoo is going boing-boing!

(Hungary: Ememmmeemm!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prussia: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Italy: Germany! Hey, Germany, come look at this! It’s amazing!

Germany: How many times do I have to tell you that the Kübelwagen is not your personal fun cart for running errands?!

Italy: But you have to see this! I did something incredible! I’m like a super cart genius! To help me get away from the enemy no matter where they are, I had Mr. Giuliani do some sweet modification to help me escape---oh no!

Germany: You fool! I told you what would happen if you touched mein Kübelwagen!

(Mein: Mine → German)

(Italy: Huahuah…)

Italy: Ohow! Oopsie-daisy!

Germany: Now put it back exactly how I had it!

Italy: Ouch! I’m so sorry, but I thought you were using, like, a cool evocative euphemism for your penis!

Germany: Duaah! Okay, fine. Show me what kind of stupid modification you did to mein Kübelwagen.

(Mein: Mine → German)

Italy: Well, okay! It’s cool! Let me think for a sec…you do this here, eah! And that here! And then this one too. And if you twist this---aah!

Germany: Hey! Get down here!

Italy: AAAAAHHHH!

Germany: Come baaaaaaack! It…it can’t be. No…and to think he gave up his life over something so trivial! It’s true that he was an effeminate waste of uniform who made me want to claw my eyes out, but that’s more my issue than his. If only I’d known he was going to go like this, I would have shared my feelings more or hit him less. Wahahah…Italy. ITALYYYYYYYYY!

Bird: Cheep cheep! Cheep! Cheep cheep cheep! Cheep cheep cheep!

Italy: Help…Germany…

(Bird: Cheep cheep! Cheep cheep cheep!)

{Caption: After about 30 minutes, people around there helped him}

Bird: Cheep cheep! Cheep!

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #34 Transcript

This episode has Sealand turning into a Power Ranger, Germany explaining how Italians behave, and the first part of "How Endings Work".

Britain: Oh, this is rather upsetting. I guess I can't expect things to go smoothly for me all the time, now can I?

Japan: That is very true.

Sealand: Hello, Japan!

Japan: Auh?

Sealand: The Powerful Rangers are so totally awesome! Now, don't lie, tell me you're the one who made them! Can you please use your magic to turn me into one?

Britain: This is pathetic.

Sealand: Huh?

Britain: It just goes to show you how stupid little children can be! Japan is not magical, so there will be no transforming. They use actors! They stick them inside those suits and pretend to battle.

Sealand: You're a big dream-killing liar facehole!

Japan: Well, actually…

Britain, Sealand: Hm?

Japan: I can transform you, but you'll have to keep your eyes closed. Can you do that?

Britain: WHAT?!

Sealand: All right! I'm going to beat up bad guys everywhere!

(Britain: Auah!)

{Caption: So}

Britain: Weird.

Sealand: Yah! Back off! All the haters best beware ‘cause Sea-Dog of lost galaxies gonna regulate with this super rocket punch!

Japan: Hmm…

Britain: Auh…

Sealand: WAAHHHAHAHAHA!

Latvia: Auh…I'll bring it back to you later! Okay?

Sealand: WAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britain: Dammit, what the hell is up with this country?! Grrrr! I can't make a disguise that fools you!

{Caption: Can't Get Out of Italy Part 2}

Britain: Tell me your secret before I lose it! AAAAHHH!

Germany: Ha! It's really very simple. I am familiar with the Italian way of life. That is all.

(Britain: Rah rah! Grrr! Augh! Aaugh!)

Britain: Ehehe. I don't believe you. You can't tell me anything that I did wasn't perfectly Italian.

Germany: Auh? Let me think for a second. Here's one example.

{Caption #1: Part 1}

{Caption #2: When talking}

{Caption #3: Italians vs others}

Germany: First, how Italians talk versus how others talk.

{Caption: Other}

Man: You see, things are how they are because it's like that when things are like that, don't you know?

{Caption: Italy}

Italy: Ve! Ve ve! Ve ve! Ve ve ve ve ve!

{Caption #1: Part 2}

{Caption #2: When they see a beautiful woman}

{Caption #3: Italians vs others}

Germany: Second. How Italians react versus how others react when they see pretty women.

Woman: Auh…ahaha…

Italy: Ciao, baby!

(Ciao: Hello → Italian)

Italy: Smoochie smoochie! Come over here, you hot stuff! How about a kiss and you take a ride on my moped, if you know what I mean! AUOH!

(Man: Wow, she's a pretty young lady!)

{Caption #1: Part 3}

{Caption #2: When a beautiful woman is in front of you}

{Caption #3: But it's cold so you keep your hands in your pockets}

{Caption #4: Italians vs others}

Germany: Third. How Italians keep their hands in their pockets in cold weather, even when there's a pretty woman in front of them, versus how others do.

Man: Wow! She's a really pretty girl!

Italy: Nnnh.

Romano: Rrrgh.

Germany: Other than that, let me see. If you want to make them happy, you can…auh…huahah?!

Britain: I got it now! Thanks for all the information, sucker!

{Caption: Chomp chomp}

Britain: Hahahahaha!

Germany: BRITAIN!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Germany: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Britain's thoughts: This is it! I've almost made it to the border! I can finally say goodbye to Italy for good. Hm, one last meal wouldn't hurt.

Britain: I'll stop here and then be gone.

Britain's thoughts: This has been much better! I haven't been noticed at all. I must be getting quite good at this. Pasta buongiorno!

(Buongiorno: Good morning → Italian)

Britain’s thoughts: Hahahaha.

Britain: Hey, waiter, I'd like an order of rib roast with bangers and some of your finest ale.

Germany: Daugh!

Britain: Errrrrugh…

{Caption: [Ale] A type of beer brewed using top fermentation. In the UK, beer means ale}

Britain's thoughts: Why is my head covered in newspaper?!

Britain: AAAAH! I had thought I'd get to ride inside the plane when I was rescued!

America: Hahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha!

{Caption: Hahahaha!}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britain: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

{Caption: Endings you can use when you don't know how to end the story, part 1}

Man [narrating]: Endings you can use when you don't know how to end a story. Effect!

{Caption #1: Effect}

{Caption #2: Even if the story ended up not making much sense, this makes it appear as if the story ended in a logical way}

Narrator: Even if a story ended up not making much sense, this makes it appear as if the story ended in a logical way.

Man [narrating]: Usage!

{Caption #1: Usage}

{Caption #2: Limit a particular bit's use to one time per story. Use it at the end of the story}

Narrator: Limit its use to one time per story. Use it at the end of a story!

Man [narrating]: Applications!

{Caption #1: Applications}

{Caption #2: You can apply an advanced technique in which you think what kind of story you put before it. It's also effective for overcoming a slump}

Narrator: An advanced technique in which you think about what kind of story preceded it. It's also effective for overcoming a slump.

{Caption: Example}

Germany: You. Italians. You’re on lookout.

Italy, Italian soldiers: Tired.

Germany: Oh, come on, you guys were just sleeping! Move it!

Italy: Mmh…

Italian soldier: The Germans have gone to bed.

Italy: Good. Let’s carry out our plan.

Italian soldiers: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Narrator: And that is how this underwear came to be historically significant.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: Hmhmmmhmmm…

{Text on box: TEA}

Germany: So that's Britain's new encampment. Italy, would you please stop humming?

{Caption: Next time…}

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #23 Transcript

This episode has Germany annexing Austria and Chibi Romano being captured by Turkey.

{Text on paper: Orders}

German man: This letter contains your next mission, so please read it carefully. It's important.

Germany's thoughts: Why doesn't he just tell me right now?

{Text on paper: Orders}

Germany’s thoughts: I'm standing right here! Usually when they do this, it's because I'm getting some Scheiße job.

(Scheiße: Shit → German)

{Text on paper: Take Austria into your care at your place. (It's okay to beat him!)}

Germany's boss [in a letter]: We need you to watch Austria at your place for a while, or maybe forever. But it's okay to beat him snotless!

Germany: You can't be serious! There's no way I will see him and not kill him!

German man: Germany! This is an order from your superior! And he is one mean strudel pancake.

(Germany: DUAAGH…augh…dauhh!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: Germanyyyy!

Germany: Nnah…

Italy: I don't want you to take over Austria because then you'll like him best and I won't be your number one anymore!

Germany: I have no choice; Herr Mustache ordered it!

(Herr Mustache: Mr. Mustache → German)

Germany: Now back off and stay to the right!

Italy: No, Germany! Please! Don't do this to me! Huahuahuahuah…

Hungary: He's right! Besides, Austria's way too pretty for you anyway!

Germany: Let go of me this instant, you swines! Yaugh!

(Hungary: Ooooooohhhhh!)

Germany: Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your only choice, Austria, is to submit to my manliness!

Austria: Mm…I love the hard way. But I suppose I could just submit to you.

Germany: Euagh…

(Italy: Nn?)

(Hungary: Nhn?)

Narrator: Italy and Hungary were worried for Austria, but Austria, being the semi-freak that he is, decided he would roll over like a sweet little Wienerschnitzel. That word is almost as fun as swizzle stick!

{Caption #1: Imposing}

{Caption #2: Freeloading Noble}

{Caption #3: After this and that, they started living together}

Austria: Mmh…

Germany: Auh…auh…grr!

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Austria: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Narrator: When Romano found out Spain was stalking him, he freaked out and ran away. He was fine at first, because he found a sweet pond, but then he started to realize he was kind of a loser and most people were only friends with him because of his inheritance. Poor guy, his tiny little feelings got hurt.

(Spain: Just give it up, France! You've failed four times already!)

(France: Aahaahaahaah!)

(Chibi Romano: Auah! AUAH!)

{Caption: Boss Spain and Chibi Romano}

Spain, Chibi Romano: Spain the Boss and Chibi Romano.

Bird: Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp!

Chibi Romano: Auh! Auah?

Bird: CHACHA! CHACHA! Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp!

Chibi Romano: Jerk! What's his problem?! Hnnhhh…

Chibi Romano's thoughts: Well, this was a brilliant plan; what am I supposed to do now?

Chibi Romano: Huah? Auah! AAAAHHH! What's the big idea; you nearly chopped my arm off! Auah!

Turkey: Hahahahahahaha! If I had intended the death of Romano, I would not have missed, I assure you.

(Chibi Romano: Hhn…)

Chibi Romano: Look here, Princess Jasmine! I am not afraid of your devil eyes!

Spain: I am not kidding this time! Where the heck did Romano go?! It's dangerous for him to be all alone!

Chibi Romano: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Spain: Auh? Wait…that is Romano! Auh! No, Romanoooo! I'm coooominggg!

{Caption #1: Boss Spain and Chibi Romano}

{Caption #2: To be continued}

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Spain: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Austria: Auha.

Germany: Hm?

Austria: My throat is a little scratchy. Would you get some tea for me?

Germany: You will make your own damn tea!

Austria: You don't have to spit. You could try asking me nicely.

(Germany: Auh…)

Germany: Uhuh?

Austria: I'll just see what Italy's doing. Auh!

Germany: Here! Grr…

Austria: You know, it’d be even better if I could have some snacks with my tea.

Germany: I’m not your slave! In my house, you'll make your own food or starve to death!

Austria: It's no big deal. I shall apply my creative genius to hors d'oeuvres pomp a le fomfomfom.

Germany: Fine, whatever floats your boats.

Austria: Mmhmm…mmhm…

Germany: Nhh?

Austria: Mmhmmhmm..

Germnay: Nhhh…

Austria: Oohh. That's done. Okay, until the cake is finished baking, I might as well see what Italy is doing right now.

Germany: Hold on just a minute. I might have some extra cupcakes.

{Caption: Freeloading Noble}

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #17 Transcript

This episode has Japan getting angry and Sweden and Finland running away.

Greece: Mm. So, to sum up…

Japan: Auh…

Greece: Getting angry, um…it's, like, hard for you?

Japan: Yesss…you couldn't tell, but I was rather angry.

Greece: Huh…try it again for me. But raise the stakes. Hmm…hey, I know! You've blown a lot of money, haven't you?

Japan: Blown? Oh, money. Huh. Let me ask my thought bubble. Hm.

Dream Mr. UN: You're gonna have to cover that.

{Caption #1: Mr. United Nations}

{Caption #2: "Repair cost"}

Dream Japan: How much is it?

Dream Panda: A hundred million!

{Text on sign: 1 Hundred Million}

Japan: Nnh…

Dream Japan: How could eggs go up 60 yen, they are one of the most best values! Pretty soon, putting a fried egg in your fried rice will only be for the rich and famous!

Japan: Nnnnnnnnn…nnnnnnnnnnnnn…nnn…NNNN…nnnn…nnnnnnnnnnnnn…

Turkey: Why you are wanting to borrow my camera, feta breath?! It's not like I suddenly started liking your ass!

Greece: But…Japan just got mad!

Turkey: Say what?! Okay, if I lend you my camera, you have to tag me in the pictures on Facebook! Friend me first!

Japan: Only oranges.

Greece: Okay? I don't get you.

Cat: Meww.

{Caption: When it comes to food, Japan shows no mercy!}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finland [narrating]: Hi! I'm Finland. Mr. Sweden and I were just doing a little less than pleasant subservient labor over at Mr. Denmark's house together. My colleague, Mr. Sweden, has quite a strong, rebellious spirit. That means he doesn't do what he's told and so he got yelled at a lot by Mr. Denmark. One day, Mr. Sweden snapped big time and threw a massive temper tantrum, storming out of Mr. Denmark's house and running away! I figured “why not?” and decided to join him. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be free; it's just I'm surrounded by all these big, strong, kind of mean-looking countries, like the United Kingdom of Poland and Lithuania, and…creepy Mr. Russia. He's so creepy! I'm more like a delicate flower. Okay, that's the real reason I'm sticking with Mr. Sweden.

{Caption: Running Away with Su-san}

Finland: Uh, this is fun, joo?

(Joo?: Yes? → Finnish)

Finland: I'm glad that we ran away from Mr. Denmark and stuff. So, um, what are we going to do now? We've got all these mean countries around us. It's kinda scary, isn't it? To be honest with you, I'm a little worried. Auah! Well, I mean, not you! I'm not worried about you of course!

Sweden: Nnh…

Finland: Yeah, because worrying won't get me anywhere! Hahaha! So we should go to sleep now, right?

Sweden: I guess, ja.

(Ja: Yes → Swedish)

Finland: Auh!

Sweden: If you want to go to sleep, we can.

Finland: Yes! I do want to. Well, good night then! Aah!

Finland's thoughts: Holy Martin Luther, is he scary! Maybe I was too hasty and should have stayed with Mr. Denmark. Stupid spontaneity! Calm down, Finny; we'll be fine! After all, he doesn't seem like he's one of the bad guys. AAAAAAHHHHHH! You're right there! Moon! Pretty! Don't you think?

Sweden: Ja, sure.

(Ja: Yes → Swedish)

Finland: Um, are you…cold? At all?

Sweden: Not really.

Finland's thoughts: Don't wet yourself, Finny; get it together! Why does he have to be so scary?! I can't live with this guy!

Finland: Oh, okay, well, maybe it's just me then.

{Caption: Pressuring}

Finland's thoughts: This is what I get for living in the moment! Maybe I can run away! I'll wait 'til he falls asleep and then make my escape!

Finland: Oeh!

Sweden: Is that warmer?

Finland: Yes, thank you. Hehhhh…

Narrator: “It's not like he's a bad person; he just doesn't communicate very well, that's all.” Okay. Yeah, I'm sure you're right, Finland. Just keep telling yourself that. You'll be fine.

(Finland: Hhehehe…Heheheheheh…)

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #15 Transcript

This episode has Germany and Finland discussing food, Holy Rome and Chibitalia at Christmas, and Chibi Romano going to visit Chibitalia by himself.

Finland: Oh, Mr. Germany! Did you make your own lunch?

Germany: My what? Oh, nein.

(Nein: No → German)

Germany: Italy prepared this food for me. I don't know, that kid. He's afraid of his own shadow. At least he's an excellent cook, though.

Finland: Hahaha! He's not afraid of carbs!

Germany: Nauh!

Italy [in a letter]: To Germany. Japan taught me how to make rice balls! These are you, me and Japan as rice balls. Woohoo, they're cute! Oh, that's jiga-jisan. It's a Japanese proverb meaning to praise oneself! Oh, and I put lots of your favorite foods in it! From Italy.

{Text on paper: To Germany. Japan taught me how to make "onigiri!" These are Germany, me, and Japan rice balls. Wowww so cute! Oh, that's "jiga-jisan." It's a Japanese proverb meaning to praise oneself. Oh, and, I put lots of your favorite foods in it! From Italy}

Germany: Nnnn…gregggh! Geghh….sehugh…ghhhhh…nom nom nom nom…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: Flustered}

Chibitalia: Holy Roman Empire?

Holy Rome: Huh?

{Caption: Flustered}

Chibitalia: I don't know where the Christmas stuff is at, do you?

Holy Rome: Auah! Right. That's tomorrow. You should be able to find it in the storage bin over there.

Chibitalia: The storage bin! Grazie very much!

(Grazie: Thank you → Italian)

Chibitalia: I'm excited! Hahaha!

Holy Rome’s thoughts: Those crosses and Christmas collection plates are pretty heavy. Is she going to be okay? She's so little! Italy? AAH!

{Caption: Tired out…}

Holy Rome: Aah! No, Italy, I will save you! Um, okay…I can pull you out! Uah…

Dream Chibitalia: Whyyyy? Holy Roman Empire touched my underdeveloped boobies!

{Note: Holy Rome still thinks that Chibitalia is a girl}

Holy Rome: Euah…well then. What now? I guess I'll just grab her hips.

Dream Chibitalia: You grabbed my tushie; I shall hate you forever!

{Note: He really thinks that Chibitalia is a girl}

Holy Rome: Shit…no, that's no good either. What in God's name am I supposed to do now? So, I am still going to save you! I'll…just grab…your clothing instead! Heah…AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Eheh…eh…eh…auahh…

Chibitalia: You rescued me; grazie!

(Grazie!: Thank you! → Italian)

Chibitalia: Hehe!

Holy Rome: Nmm…

{Note: He's seriously thinking that Chibitalia is a girl…}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: Boss Spain and Chibi Romano}

Spain, Chibi Romano: Spain the Boss and Chibi Romano.

{Caption: Romano is going back home for a visit for three days}

Spain: Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself? I can come with you.

Chibi Romano: I'll be fine, you stupid jerkhole. Leave me alone. Hmph!

Spain: There is no way you'll be safe! Look at all of that danger out there waiting to kill you!

{Caption #1: Holy Roman Empire}

{Caption: #2: Poland}

{Caption #3: Spain}

{Caption #4: France}

{Caption #5: Hungary}

{Caption #6: Ottoman Empire}

Chibi Romano: Shut up, ehuh? If I said I'll be fine, I'll be fine!

Spain: Mmh…he is not going to be fine at all! That one is way too careless on a regular basis as it is! Perhaps I'll follow him until he gets to his home. Mh! Oh! Pardon me! Ahuh?

France: Ohhon! Ohhonhonhon! Ohhonhonhonhonhon! Romano…I want to squish him; he's so cute! He should be my new territory. Oh, oui, I would like for that to happen very, very much!

(Oui: Yes → French)

Narrator: Dirty France still hadn't given up. He actually fought Spain over Italy no less than four times.

(France: Oui! Oui! Ohhonhonhonhonhonhon…)

(Oui! Oui!: Yes! Yes! → French)

France: I want Italy! I want Romano! Ohhonhonhonhonhonhon!

Spain: Creeeepyyyy!

Narrator: Due to France's behavior, an unexpected country began taking action.

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Japan: Hm…

Greece: Hmmm. Hey…

Japan: Hm.

Greece: I was thinking. You don't really get angry, do you? So does that make you constipated at all?

Japan: Yes, it does. I have a hard time with anger.

Greece: Well, then. I'll do it with you. Come on. We can get mad at things together.

Japan: Auah…

Children: To be continued!

{Caption: To be continued}

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #6 Transcript

This episode has America's hamburger cure, the Opium War, France's new uniform, and Italy meeting Chibitalia.

Britain: Heh…uahn…huah…heh…

{Caption: Britain’s cold still hasn’t gotten better…}

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Britain: Auhoh…

France: This is bad. His fever isn’t going down at all.

{Text on thermometer: 38.5}

France: You know, he would be so much more cute if he was always this silent.

(Britain: Auah…huah…huah…huah…)

France: Honhon! Now is my big chance---AAH!

America: Hey, Britain, dude! You have to see this new plane I just built! Eum? What’s wrong with the jerky limey’s face?

France: Hey, you be nice! He is very sick! He has a terrible cold!

America: No way! Dude, he’s sick? I’ve got the cure for what ails ya, my man!

Britain: Eehugh…uhuhuhu…euhuh…

America: What the hell? Why isn’t it working?

France: Because it’s fast food, stupid American!

America: Yeah, on that note…um, what’s a cold?

France: Eugh…

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America: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

{Caption: China, after being beaten in the First Opium War, was being pushed around by Britain and France}

Britain: Hey, China, more of these!

China: If you would be more patient, please!

Britain: Ahnom! Nomnomnom…the stuff I make tastes much better anyway.

France: That is the worst insult ever! EVER!

China’s thoughts: How dare he speak to me like that! I wish I could give him what for.

China: Eum! I do not think I like these Europeans anymore. It would be better if I could just go back to living life the way I wanted. I’m home, hooray.

Russia: Hey. Welcome back! You’re late, so I started eating.

China: Who are you?! Go away now!

{Caption #1: Rough map of China before the Russo-Japanese War}

{Caption #2: Russia}

{Caption #3: Slowly Encroaching…}

{Caption #4: China}

{Caption #5: Britain}

{Caption #6: Germany}

{Caption #7: China}

{Caption #8: France}

Narrator: China lost a large portion of its land to Britain and France after losing the Opium Wars. Apparently, old Britain was busy being the gateway drug and China didn’t want to get high. Silly China. In a war on drugs, drugs always win. Suddenly, China turned around and saw Russia settling in like the slow and steady terror that he is. It must have been really scary.

Narrator [in a Chinese accent]: Hang in there, China!

(China: Nhnhnhnhnh…)

(Russia: Nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom!)

Japan: Hm! Leave my friend alone!

Russia: AAH!

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China: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

France: Eum…

{Caption #1: How bland!}

{Caption #2: Cute flap}

Britain: Wow! France, that uniform’s a little stuffy for you! Where’s your cape and your pretty pantaloons? You’re not even wearing color! Are you trying to make people believe that you’re me?

{Caption: Weird way to assert himself}

France: Well…DUAAH! You see, my normal clothes make me a target. Too flashy.

Britain: Yes, I know.

Italy: Hey! I found you again!

France: AAH!

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France: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Britain: You are a jackass!

France: You are a jackal like this!

Britain: You frog eater!

China: I hope they both die.

Britain: I shall not stand for your constant interference in my life any longer! Why don’t you stick to things that you’re good at, like farming and drunk driving?

France: Ahhon! Shows what you know! It is not drunk driving if you are only drinking wine!

Britain: Excuse me. I can’t hear you!

France: No, don’t pull that with me! Listen up, Britain, you are the black sheep of Europe!

America: Hm?

France: Black sheep of Europe, black sheep of Europe! Britain’s the black sheep of Europe and everybody knows iiiit!

America: What? I didn’t know that!

Britain: Auh! Ugh! Why would a frog know anything about sheep, black or not?!

(France: Aheheh…ohonhonhonhonhonhon! Ohonhonhonhon!)

America: Hahahahahaha!

(Britain: Grr…quit laughing, you mongrel!)

China: Should we stop them?

(Britain: I hate you!)

Russia: No, I say sit back and enjoy show.

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Chibitalia: Heh, eh…heh, eh…

Italy: Wow! The baby version of me is so adorable!

Chibitalia: Enh?

(Italy: Oh?)

Chibitalia: Hey, I know you!

Italy: Auh?

Chibitalia: I know you! Yeah! You’re me as an adult person. Do I get to be strong and powerful when I grow up?

Italy: Aah! Yeah, of course you do! Strong and powerful!

Chibitalia: Yaaaaaay!

Italy: Wehehe! I’m so pathetic! I lied to a bambino! A mio bambino! Ahwahwahwah!

(Bambino: (Male) Baby → Italian)

(A mio bambino!: To my (male) baby! → Italian)

Germany: Well, it’s not like you could tell him the truth.

Children: To be continued!

{Caption: To be continued}

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Italy: 🎵Germany, Germany, Germany is a really really nice place. Even though I’m your prisoner, you give me food, and it doesn’t suck like English food! Sausages with cheeses always taste so good! It’d be heaven for a dog; yeah, that’s Germany! Tell me, how is it you Germans are so robust? You’re crushing me with your intimidation. My fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear. Your women terrify me. Is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer and then bust it on somebody’s heaaad? Please don’t come to my place in large mobs; German tourists are scary! Even the girls that are from Germany are more rugged than I am! Yahoo!🎵

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: World Series Episode #3 Transcript

This episode has Greece and Turkey fighting over Japan.

Greece: It might not look like it, but this is the very spot where the great warrior city-state of Sparta once stood. Now everybody here mostly grows stuff like they’re those…grower people or something.

Japan: They are called farmers. Did you know my people adopted a Spartan type of education for a while?

Greece: Hm. Really? So tell me how it felt to study, to train in combat, and hunt with other men. Naked.

Japan: We didn’t do the naked part! Our teachers just screamed at us a lot. The Spartan education sounds like it was very invigorating.

Greece: Yes. Duty demanded they strip down to the buffs for physical inspection once every ten days in front of another soldier or…friend.

Japan: Really?

Greece: Do you want to try it?

Japan: Thank you, no.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greece: Hmmmm…if I could live again, I’d like to be a cat.

Japan: Well, that was kind of…random.

Greece: Cats are so cool. Retractable claws, and that rough tongue. Hehe. Plus, they never have to worry about things like bankruptcy or body odor.

Dream Greece Cat: Meow…

Greece: If I were a cat, I could do whatever I want. Like, I could take a whole day just to lick my own balls.

Dream Greece Cat: Yawn!

Greece: And when I got tired…yeah, I could go to sleep right there. And purrrrrrrr. I’m pretty sure it won’t happen.

Japan: Aoh…

Greece: Oauh…hhmmmmm…aohhh…

Japan: Oh!

Greece: Look, I’m a big cat. Don’t you want to scratch my belly?

Japan: You need to seek professional help.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greece: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Turkey: Jappy! What up, stud? I heard you was coming to here, so I thought I’d come soak in your mojo.

Japan: Hello, Mr. Turkey.

Greece: Auah!

Turkey: Oh, bok!

(Oh, bok!: Oh, shit! → Turkish)

Turkey: What the holy hell are you doing in here, feta breath?

Greece: Mmhmpf!

Turkey: Listen, Jerkules, you better not be pulling that naked Spartan bullshit on my buddy!

Japan: Uh, bikkuri yo.

(Bikkuri yo: I’m surprised → Japanese)

Greece: Hands off, Turkey. This shirt was expensive. He was seeing my sights.

Japan: Uh, yeah, uuh…

Turkey: You’re lying! My friend doesn’t sightsee, do you?

Japan: Nh, uh, no, I, ah---

Greece: Why don’t you leave Japan alone, you stupid head?

Turkey: Japan and me has been buds for years, but you’d know that if your brain wasn’t so dead!

Japan: Now, hold on---

Greece: Hey, guess what?

Japan: Auh?

Greece: Japan digs my sexy cat ears.

Turkey: Oh, whoopee!

Japan: Uhnoh…

Turkey: He says my mask is retro cool but not hipster chic!

Greece: Oh yeah?

Japan: Uh?

Greece: He still likes me the best.

Turkey: In your dreams!

(Japan: Oh?)

Greece: Wrong.

Japan: Oh.

Turkey: You bite me!

(Japan: Oh)

Greece: No way.

(Japan: Uh?)

Turkey: He likes me best!

Japan: Oh?

Greece: No, it’s me.

(Japan: Oh)

Turkey: I’m going to crush you!

Japan: Hey, I think I am the only one who really knows who it is!

Turkey: Grrr!

Greece: Auoh…

Turkey: Which one is it, Jappy?

(Greece: Which one is it, Japan?)

Japan: Auh…mmnm. Rock, paper, scissors for it?

Turkey: Roshambo?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Turkey: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

{Caption #1: Pop pop}

{Caption #2: Pop pop}

Greece: Eum!

Turkey: Grr!

Japan: Aoh…

Japan’s thoughts: This is worse. I should try to make things better with merrymaking!

Japan: Oh, hey, guys! Look at this!

Turkey, Greece: Auh?

Japan: Please keep your eyes on my thumb. Eurr…ah…eh. Oh no, hey, I broke my thumb off. Hehehehe!

Turkey: AAAAHHHH!

Greece: AAAAAHHHH!

Turkey, Greece: Ahwahwhawahwah…

Japan: Hehe. It was just a joke.

(Turkey, Greece: Ahwahwahwha…)

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: Axis Powers Episode #48 Transcript

This episode has Britain almost dying and Chibitalia's voice changing.

Chibitalia: Hey, hey, Papà, could I have some wine?

(Papà: Dad → Italian)

Austria: Auh!

Hungary: Huh?

Chibitalia: Hey, hey, Mamma! Hey, hey, Mamma!

(Mamma: Mom → Italian)

Chibitalia: It doesn’t matter what I do; I’ll never forget!

Austria: Auh!

Hungary: Auh!

Chibitalia: The taste of Bolognese won’t get out of my head! 🎵Draw a circle, that’s the Earth! Draw a circle, that’s the Earth!🎵

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: Hey, hey, Germany! What are you doing? Can we go play football, can we?

Germany: Nein, I’m reading.

(Nein: No → German)

Italy: But it’s so pretty outside! Let’s go play football!

Germany: Augh…

Italy: Hey, Germany, play football, Germany, heyyy football, Germanyyy, Germany, football…

Germany: Are you wanting me to gas you?!

Italy: Auah…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Germany: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Britain: Nn…nghh…nhh…nh…nhhhh…

America: No! Poor Britain!

Death: Hahahahaha!

America: Rumor has it that you were mortally wounded; is that true?! I blame Germany!

Britain: No…you must not. I was in the process of making our new weapon called the panjandrum when…well, you know how drunk the Scots like to get.

{Caption: [Panjandrum] A self-propelled weapon England designed during WW2 to breach Germany’s protective barriers, which was an obstacle for the Normandy operations. The idea itself was revolutionary. For example, its 100km speed made it impossible to intercept. But things like its inability to go straight when covered in sand made its impracticality equally revolutionary}

America: Dude! No way! Come on, man! Hang in there, please! You can’t just die! You still owe me a whole crap-ton of money!

Britain: America…

America: Augh…

Britain: Listen to me…we’ve spent too much of our time fighting, but I want you to know…I don’t hate you. I know it must have seemed that way…the truth is, um…

America: Britain? You okay? Eh! Eh! Eh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Eh! Ah! Ah! Aw, dude! Britain is totally dead! Let’s go get a drink to celebrate!

Britain: Uhuhhhhhhh!

America: See? I told you he’d wake up if we did that!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Germany: You really are clumsy! Watching you gives me the high blood pressure! I want you to wear this helmet. It will keep you safe, and me from stressing!

Italy: Oh…I can’t do that.

{Text on Italy’s shirt: Squadsman 1}

Germany: Aah hn…

Italy: Ahhhh…

Germany: It doesn’t go on the ground! PUT IT ON YOUR HEAD!

(Italy: AAAAAAHHHHH!)

Germany: There!

Italy: AAHHH! I’m very sorry, but I do not want to wear this hat thing! It’s just that…heah, wearing this…heah, helmet…makes…heah, me feel like…heah, I’m…getting…shorter…

{Caption above Germany: 180cm}

{Caption above Italy: 172cm}

Germany: You won’t, though.

(Italy: Heaheaheaha!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Austria: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Austria: Auh!

Hungary: Oh?

Chibitalia: 🎵Draw a circle, that’s the Earth! Draw a circle, that’s the Earth! Draw a circle, that’s the Earth! I am Hetalia! Ah, the world around us can be seen through the stroke of a single brush! And now we give a…🎵

Italy: 🎵…toast with our boots!🎵

Austria: Auh!

Hungary: Oha!

Italy: Ohh…huh? 🎵Hetalia!🎵

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: Cool! My voice is changing; I’m starting to sound like a boy!

Austria: Augh!

Hungary: Good for you! Wonderful!

Austria: Uhah!

{Caption: What?}

Hungary: Ahahahaha!

Italy: Ahahahaha! I kinda sound like an uomo, don’t I?

(Uomo: Man → Italian)

Hungary: Haha…I know; I’m so proud of you! Hahahaha!

(Italy: Hahahaha…haha…uomo!)

(Uomo!: Man! → Italian)

{Caption: Thought Italy was a girl}

Austria: Mhh…

Hungary: Um…Mr. Austria, are…you okay?

Austria: Ja, I’m fine.

(Ja: Yes → German)

Austria: Now I get why Holy Rome liked him so much.

{Caption: Later on, he went to buy suitable clothes}

{Caption: Next time…}