#so so sorry how long this got...

[vivitur-moritur]

you would be right about mindflayer if not for the fact that her head and feet are clearly blocky and robotic 😔 i feel like a few people would turn their nose up at that

MIRAGE IS ALMOST THERE. just her camera head puts her up to higher than base level robotfuckery </3

i feel like i’m biased though 💔💔💔

i think you’re right but it legitimately did not occur to me that mindflayer’s beautiful face would be a problem 😔 anyway do you want to see my ultrakill robotfuckery rating? you want to see my ultrakill robotfuckery rating.

Starting off with the ever-beautiful mindflayer, mostly because I think she’s one of the most vanilla robots to fuck.

Mindflayer is at least 2/3 beautiful human woman. Look at her abs. Look at her massive tits. Look at her smooth, non-angular skin. She's objectively sexy in a conventional way! (Wait, is that a normal thing to say?) The way the "helmet" and "pauldrons" and whatever's on her back are designed make it look reasonably plausible that she could just take that off and be even more normal human underneath! Yeah, they can't be taken off, but proportions-wise, it's sort of like fucking a paladin who really really doesn't want to take their helmet off. Also the tentacles are, frankly, a bonus. 8/10 Vanilla, 2/10 Robotfucking

Next up, because I also mentioned her: Mirage!

I chose the body pillow image mostly because it was the only pic I could find that was whole body but also because it's just really fucking funny.

So Mirage is a very human-shaped robot. Aside from her head, which is still human head sized, (mostly), she's really just a blue lady. Also, she wears clothes! It makes her seem even more normal! I don't care that she's supposedly not real because a) i don't know any ultrakill lore and b) she's real to me and also probably anyone who buys the body pillow. 9/10 Vanilla, 1/10 robotfucking

On to Swordsmachine, because I've heard a lot about it <3

Okay, again, a humanoid robot, but certainly less so! This is definitely a big departure from the normalcy of the last two. Starting off with that massive fucking head, that's jus very, very clearly inhuman. The long, blocky limbs are another cool, robot feature, as are the visible cords in some of the joints! Swordsmachine's mostly human shape, however, ultimately makes it a relatively easy robot to at least imagine fucking. 6/10 Vanilla, 4/10 robotfucking.

Next (i am really just going off the wiki's machine list at this point) Sentries!

WHY ARE SO MANY OF THE MACHINES IN THIS GAME BEAUTIFUL CURVACEOUS WOMEN. LOOK AT HER. SHE HAS HUGE THIGHS AND A TINY WAIST. Only robotic feature: the massive fucking gun that looks like it's a part of her. And also her head. Anyway, 7/10 vanilla, 3/10 robotfucking.

Onwards! Streetcleaner.

It's literally just a man with a flamethrower. I have a lot of robots to get through so that's all I'm gonna say. 7/10 Vanilla, 3/10 robotfucking.

Next: Guttermen

These guys scare me, actually. So yeah, is it vaguely human shaped? Yes... but does it fall right into the uncanny valley? ALSO yes. That head... that head. It's got a nice body, though! I'd say he's maybe at a 4/10 vanilla and 5/10 robotfucking and 10/10 i would not fuck it because it scares me

Since I mentioned guttermen, I have to now mention Guttertanks!

So these guys, while certainly more robotic, freak me out a LOT less. And therefore are significantly more fuckable! But also that is just sort of a box with limbs. No torso-head separation, and I feel like the more robots I rate the worse my perspective becomes skewed. Like, this is absolutely in robot territory, it's only sort of humanoid. And yet... I don't know... It's sort of nicely shaped... 4/10 Vanilla, 6/10 robotfucking.

And now... the robot YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! V1!!!!

Yeah okay we're back to very human shaped robots!! This is objectively just a very sexy robot. It's shaped in a very human way and has more curves and fewer harsh angles than other robots. It's shaped like a low-poly attractive man! Look at that shiny blue plating... look at those beautiful wings... keep looking at those beautiful wings because wow... 7/10 vanilla and 3/10 robotfucking. I nearly called it a normal guy and then remembered that I am clearly not fit to judge normalcy.

Ok, now v2!

Look. It's v1 but red. And also sitting on a throne (?) in a kinda a sexy way??? I'm shocked there's no body pillow. Tragically, I just went over all the reasons v1 is very hot, and average robotfucking, but I'll also just mention again that the head is just so not a big deal when it comes to overall rating. It's just a tiny difference, really! 7/10 vanilla and 3/10 robotfucking, same as v1!

Ok. Last but not least, Earthmover.

Ok, look. I get it. Mechanical hell centaur. It is kinda sexy! BUT ALSO. What the FUCK are you gonna do with that thing? It is SO FUCKING HUGE? Anyone who wants to fuck this thing, I admire their bravery and courage! Now this is where Vanilla robotfucking stops. 0/10 vanilla. 1659056734810956897130198518967301928167953198075/10 robotfucking. Not because it's the epitome of robots but just because it seems like it'd be really difficult to do the horizontal tango* with! Also yeah it is a really cool robot so that too!

*i say this not because i'm afraid of the word sex but because i think the phrase is really fucking funny

AND THAT CONCLUDES MY RATING!!! Thank you for tolerating me! I feel like my rating may have been biased. I am realizing now that Most People would not think earthmover is even a little sexy.

[hotdogmchiggin]

Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏

Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)

Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍

The REAL reason this is late

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[salamispots]

speedrunning a bday gift for bb nephew hjdfgjh

[bunnieswithknives]

The animatic is done!! 💕

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike meets Jeremy Fitzgerald

[infamouzsky]

Like The Other Ones

HI YES IM FINALLY DONE HOLY SHIT

OKAY SO this was based off on my own gameplay of COTL, I noticed that everytime Id put food orders in, Narinder would usually be the one to prepare them And honestly? We love a malewife in this house so I dig that for him, ma guy is a skilled cook <3

As I wrote down the dialogue, it just got deeper than I expected SO HERE YALL GO WITH A FULL ASS COMIC ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, ENJOY!!!!

This shit took me weeks Ill go recharge my soul now brb-

EDIT: I DECIDED TO PUT A UNDERCUT Tab so yall dont have to scroll too much in order to read and see other posts ure welcome 🤼‍♀️ <3

[troubldteenz]

just read kill switch. you just had to twist the knife man☹️

link to fic here by @king-candybug-backup

[syrospit]

fulfilling my promise to the magnus nation

other sketches i didn’t finish under the cut :3c

[aquanutart]

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[peace-hunter]

I just realized. One thing that Optimus will certainly be educated on by the Primes in the Haunted AU is the various was One Can Kill A Quintesson! Leaving some Autobots confused at times when he's teaching them in return because 'This sounds pretty Specific...???'

It's slightly competitive on the Primes' part because yeah, the Deceptions do got the High Guard being good at killing Quintessons too but. They're the Real Experts. (Are they salty? Naaaah they're not. Much. Kinda.)

AKJSHDK YEAH YOU'RE SO RIGHT I LOVE THAT <333

they got so good at squishing the goddamn bugs and they're thrilled they can save Optimus the pain of figuring out their weak points through trial and error like they did. they're gonna make a pro out of their baby brother in no time.

and if they just so happen to know some of the Decepticons will be majorly pissed off at the fact OP is already on par with the best of what used to be the High Guard when he only has a fraction of their experience... well, happy coincidences, y'know?

and if they happen to teach Optimus how to crack open a Quintesson in just the right way to make some Decepticons see ghosts through him... that's between them and the people they're haunting :)

haunted au

[evanzzz3]

been getting really into l4d lately

[wigglebox]

Destiel Pride - Day 11; Truth

[guardian-angle22]

911: LONE STAR | TARLOS ↳ EVERY KISS (Season 1 -> Season 5)

[dreamyblanket]

Imagine sheep (idk lol) y/n dragon meeting longan I bet longan would be wondering "how come the dragon kind has been reduced into this... so cute and floofy?!!"

I do a whole bunch of rambling in the tags for this one ^^u But! Dragon y/n would ask them so many questions about the time when dragons were common!

[jabesa0]

GLOOMY BEAR 🔪💕🩸

Check out the 🔞+ version on my Twitter account!!