Tumgik
#so take a chill pill and keep your anger and hatred to yourself
Note
We don't care about this collab. He ruined the chance to shine alone. Or maybe they don't trust him and his voice. He needed help from another artist
Listen.
Listen. Listen.
I can see where you're coming from, but the thing is: we don't know what went on behind the scenes. We don't know everything that happened. Maybe he knew it would be a collab from the get go and wasn't allowed to say anything. Maybe he's the one who suggested it. Maybe he didn't get a say in how it was marketed. We don't know!! The only information we had was Jimin was doing an OST. That's it. We're the ones who assumed it was a solo like Jin's and Tae's OSTs have been.
The way I see it, this is still a solo project because it's something he's doing outside of and apart from BTS. So I still care about it and I'm still excited for it and I bet it'll still be amazing.
Tae and Hobi said they've already heard the song and that it was really good, and Jimin said it was something different than what he's previously done and that he wants to try doing more different things in the future. If anger and disregard is how he's going to be met every time he tries something new, just because it doesn't meet whatever expectation you have in your mind for him, then who's really the one "ruining his chance to shine alone"?
8 notes · View notes
theawesomeraccoon · 7 years
Text
Social Manipulator
Chapter 1: Monsters are Everywhere
It started again. I hated it. Almost every other day it seemed that THING known as my aunt would start yelling or get angry. This always happened, she and my grandpa are the main ones involved. It was mostly slamming doors or demands for money from her, and grandpa would always end up cleaning her room.
"Can I have 2.75 mom?" I heard her "politely" ask even though I knew it was really another demand.
My grandma let out a shout in anger, "Stop asking me for money! All you do is spend it on your phone and cigarettes! You don't use it for anything useful like getting yourself an actual shirt instead of that worn out garbage you call a muscle shirt!"
I quietly tiptoed to my door and hid behind the outer part of the doorframe. Ever since I was little, about 5 or so, I started learning how to walk quieter, how to some-what fight, to take a shower in less than 7 minutes, and even to quickly sneak and store food in my room.
"W-w-well maybe I was gonna use to buy a new shirt! You don't fucking know!" I watched from the small crack inbetween my door and it's frame as she left my grandma's room.
Stepping away from the door slightly, I listened as she opened her door and braced myself as she slammed it more aggressively than usual.
My breathing quickened and heart started racing as I felt tears beginning to form. I was tired of this. All of it. A twenty year old shouldn't have to deal with this...right?
Laying down onto my bedroom couch, I curled up into my soft red blanket and wept silently.
My thoughts plagued my mind filling it with nothing else but self-hatred.
'Disgrace.'
'You can't do shit!'
'Defend yourself damnit!'
'I always secretly hated you.'
'You're not worthy to know Mark and Jack. I bet they hate you too.'
'If you can't protect yourself, how're you gonna protect your little sisters?!'
'Can't help anybody.'
'You should've died instead. Think about how happier he would've been! It's all YOUR fault.'
'Talentless artist.'
'You ruined their lives and they don't even know it!'
I was starting to fall asleep, tears staining my face. But as I did, the voices suddenly were hushed and soon replaced with an ever-growing ringing.
"You are safe. It's going to be alright I promise. Just come to me."
I couldn't figure out if I was already dreaming or not, but I followed the direction of the lone voice. It sounded a bit like Mark actually, maybe it was just my consciousness telling my depression to take a freaking chill pill. The first sentence repeated over and over in my head as I became filled with a desire to push forward.
Looking at the new environment I found myself in, I noticed that the terrain was grassy with a beautiful cobblestone path woven into it. My eyes searched for another path to take if I could but none was found. Everywhere I looked I was faced with a pitch black void, nothingness. But as I kept walking, I could feel a nagging sence of unease. Something was wrong. My body was screaming at me to turn back, to not go any further, but the voice I heard before came and reassured me.
"Shhhh Victoria. You don't need to be afraid, I am watching. Let me keep you safe."
"Why do you sound like Mark and how do you know me?"
"I have known about you for a while, as have a few others." The voice spoke from different areas all around me, sometimes up close other times further away. But the whole time I heard the same ringing and the voice echoed as it spoke.
"Ever since the day you discovered who I was though, I've been patiently waiting to speak with you."
"Why me? What makes me so special?" I heard the voice scoff at my question and could almost hear the smile in his next words as he said them.
"I will tell you soon don't worry."
Having nowhere else to go, I cautiously continued down the path as the sound of my steps echoed against the almost silent inky black expanse that hungered to envelope me. My grey and white tennis shoes left small impressions into the somewhat trimmed grass as my mind scrambled to figure out who this voice was. Though.. I had a feeling I already knew.
As I started to reach the end of the end of the path, I noticed two graves. Both my mind and heart were pleading that the graves were of people whom I didn't know.
One read: 'Catalina Sanchez, loving sister and in loving memory.'
The other: 'Olivia Sanchez, too young and taken too soon.'
The names of both my little sisters..
My lips began to quiver and throat begin to tense up as tears slowly started to blur my vision. I did this to them, I hurt them.
Just as my mind began refueling my cruel thoughts, the ringing I previously heard became more present and insistent.
Feeling a gentle but firm hand being placed on my right shoulder, I turned my gaze to face a man in a suit with jet black hair.
That's what my eyes told me when I looked at him, but as I put the pieces together I realized exactly who this being was.
Standing hands clasped behind his back, I noticed a small smile weave itself onto his face. It seemed so kind, welcoming, genuine even. His height alone was enough to intimidate me considering I just reached up to his shoulders.
"You want to protect your little sisters from your abusive aunt, correct? I can be of service to you, but at a cost." His voice sounded distorted as I heard it, but also held a level of concern.
"What's even the point? Even if you ARE real and can make their lives better, it won't change the fact that it's MY fault."
My consciousness told me that I was wrong in what I said. That I wasn't really to blame. But even if that were true, it doesn't fix how soulless I feel that I've become.
"I've ruined their lives," my voice became brittle and more pained, only pointing out the fact that I had started to cry," and I've been ruined too! Nothing is going to change that!"
"What do you mean "ruined" ?" I watched as his head tilted slightly in confusion and an eyebrow rise.
"Dark, listen." I took a breath as I tried to calm down and finally explained, "I've been emotionally abused, neglected, and physically abused for almost 9 years. Compared to hearing the slamming doors, hiding food away, and constant paranoia..."
My mind thought back to every time she demanded something, every door slam, and the first time she hit me. I even remembered the exact day too: May 2nd 2016. I remember because I was celebrating Sam Winchester's birthday..
"What you could do still wouldn't amount to any of it." His expression as I spoke seemed almost unreadable as he took in what I had said.
"I have no intention to hurt you, but I am impressed you even lasted this long at all." The last words he said left me curious, had he known all along what I was going though and just.. Watched?
I pushed my building anger aside for a moment and got to the main point, "Can you tell me now? Why I'm so special to you? And why do you even want to talk to me?"
There was that smile again, seemingly kind and generous, almost making me believe that I was talking to Mark himself. His eyes looked down into mine and I felt so small compared to him. There was cruelty and deceit in his eyes, but I also saw patience. Like a chess player waiting for his opponent's next move.
"I simply wish to make a deal with you."
------------
Hey guys! Little note from the author! I just wanted to post the story I have on here since it's over on Wattpad. I wanted to share the story itself with all of you guys instead of just reaching out and sending a link individually. It kinda felt like I was forcing and I didn't want that. So for you new readers, I hope you give the story a chance and enjoy it! :D for all Social Manipulator stuff check the tag! :) 💙💛💖💚
7 notes · View notes
introvertsguild · 8 years
Text
Today and Tomorrow.
A small spill has you on your knees underneath your desk, wiping away the bright yellow liquid with a rag. It almost looks like it’s glowing even though the light from your overhead lamp is blocked by your desk.
“Why don’t you do this more often, huh? Just knock everything down while you’re at it!”, you mutter to yourself. It was an accident but it just intensified the anger you had inside you. Your payment from that gang never came this week, you felt a knot in your stomach - as if something was wrong.
BANGBANGBANG!
The loud noise at the door sends you jumping and hitting the back of your head underneath the table. You curse aloud, taking your hand and setting it on the back of your head. Before you can fully get out from underneath the table, you hear the sound of your front door being bashed down. Your door is ajar, from there you can see soldiers with guns piling in. Your eyes go wide and you grab your bat- It’s not going to take them down, but it’s something.
You plant your back against the wall, trying to quiet your scared panting. You try and listen in on them, not knowing what they are here for.
“All clear, no weapons, no nothing..”, a soldier pauses, “Wait..”. You hear footsteps coming closer to your door and you lift your bat. “Check that door!”
“Roger that!”, another one says, his footsteps get close and closer. When he opens the door, he swings left with his gun, not checking behind him. That’s when you strike the bat down his shoulder. He grunts, turning around, he yells, “Target in sight!”. More footsteps follow as he alerted the others. You grit your teeth and raises your bat again to strike at his head. He dodges and kicks you right in your abdomen.
The air leaves your body entirely as your back hits the floor with a ‘thwump’. The room is filled with more soldiers, faces covered by their helmets. You grunt, it’s hard to breathe. Your vision is black around the edges but you see two, three, four guns being pointed at you, specifically your face.
Your eyes go wide as the fifth gun to your face fires quietly and hits your shoulder. The room is spinning, your vision going blurry. You’re gone, the black void taking you.
~
The helicopter ride should be going alot better. You’ve been vomiting since the damn thing took off and now you were on vomiting right outside the door, the contents falling in the air and out of sight. Thank God you were over uninhabited terrain otherwise that would have been very awkward.
Commander Gabriel Reyes sat buckled in front of you, shaking his head with his palm in his face. The first two times he thought it was hilarious, snickering at your pale face but by the fifth time he was telling you to keep drinking as much as water as possible to keep something inside you. You were too sick to deny his hospitality so you drank and drank, throwing it up minutes later.
Living in Greece all your life, you never once took to the skies, not even in the Omnic attack. Your brother wanted to stay in Valos, volunteering his time to keep the bots at bay from the Refugee Camp. You couldn’t bare to leave your only family behind so you stayed instead of taking the plane to the next, more secured camp that awaited you in London. You missed your brother and you wondered if he missed you too.
“We’re almost there, niña, think you can keep your stomach intact till then?”, Gabriel speaks to you, looking for your eye contact. You groan, clutching your stomach. “How long?”, you ask, rubbing your stomach and tried focusing on your breathing.
“Got twenty minutes until we reach Gibraltar”, he replies.
You groan louder, turning your head away from the opened side of the helicopter. The light made your headache worse but you needed it open it in case you threw up again.
“You are possibly the worst passenger I’ve ever been with”, rolling his eyes.
You inhale, “Never left Greece in my life”, you exhale. You think you can keep it together until you don’t and are sticking your head back out the door, discolored water leaving you for the seventh time.
~
The helicopter lands and you thank every God and Goddess you’ve ever heard of. The sun hits your face as you just sit there, hands trembling. You try and pull yourself together, not wanting to seem like a pathetic puking machine but from Gabe’s impression you might already be.
You unbuckle yourself, trying to sit up  before a hand pushes you back. You look up to see Gabe shaking his head, “Don’t move, niña, we’ll get a doctor to look at you”.
“I-uh-I feel fine!”, you blurt out. You hated doctors and you’ve hardly been seen one because of your hatred. The doctors at the refugee camp were awful, not that friendly and would hardly give you a pill for a back pain or sore you’ve had for months from training. They said, ‘They are only for the dying!’, ‘No! If you can handle a few metal punches, you can handle a back pain!’. Not to mention the doctors who wouldn’t clean their needles before putting in antibiotics in you. You hated Doctors and didn’t want to see one, even if Gabriel was glaring at you. You turn away, tired of seeing his face.
He leaves then and you hear a softer pair of heels walk up the ramp. You turn away, trying to move your whole body away from anyone coming near you. A hand gently places itself on your shoulder.
“Hello, my name is Dr. Zeigler. Gabe told me you were vomiting..”
A woman’s voice? You turn to see her face and suddenly you’ve met something so much brighter than the sun itself. A woman, her blonde hair tied up, eyes blue as the sea you were surrounded by. She has a look of concern across her face, looking for an answer to cure your vomiting. You glance at her clothes, a lab covering a white suit of some kind. She donned a bronze halo on her head, as if she were an actual angel from Heaven. The sun casted across her face and she squinted a little bit.
“I’d like to know what is bothering you so that I might give you something for the pain”
An angle from Switzerland, you guessed by her thick accent.
“I..I uh.. I’ve been vomiting since I got on this damn thing..”, you try and sound tough but the stuttering gives way. She gives you a water bottle, telling you to drink. You glance to the water and back at her before taking a few sips.
“Drink slowly and relax your breathing, don’t get up until you are no longer sick, okay? Also, make sure to come see me some time today for some pills to settle your stomach”
“O-Okay..”, you continue sipping on the bottle. She smiles at you and you discover that she’s beautiful, the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. You think you’re blushing and look away. “Thanks for the water”, you mutter and she leaves you to recollect yourself.
The buzzing headache and pain in your stomach is gone. You have the strength to unbuckle and rise from your seat. The feeling in your legs is weird, like Jell-O. You grab hold of the pole above you for support and sigh.
When you feel like you can walk, you grab onto anything you can as you make your way to the ramp. The chilly wind from the platform makes your hair dance and stand on end. You look around and realize how huge this base is. It’d probably take you a few weeks-maybe months- to figure out the foundation of this place. You take another deep breath and make your way down the ramp, still holding on to your stomach softly.
“Hey! you feeling better?”, Gabe’s voice is behind you. You turn to see him standing there with arms crossed over his chest. You nod, “Atleast I can walk, right?”.
“Good, cause we got a little meet ‘n greet over dinner.. Come on”
~
You follow Gabe in silence, taking in the scenery of the base. It was large and labyrinth like, every building made of steel and towering with magnificence. The chill of the air clung to you even after you got inside and closed the door behind you. Your skin shivered, you note you’ll have to get warmer clothes if the Gibraltar wind was this cold. At least inside, the heat was on.
Gabriel started pointing things out on your way to the meal hall. He pointed to one orange door that had the sign, “SLEEPING QUARTERS” where you would be sleeping with the rest of the new recruits. A question popped into your head.
“New.. recruits? You mean I’m not the only new person here?”, you ask quizzically, watching his head for any sign of answer. He simply nodded.
“Like you’re the only one I had to drag off into the night and interrogate, princess!”
He didn’t have to look at your wide eyed expression to start laughing. He slapped his hand to his chest and coughed. “Nah, just kidding, you were the only one I had to cuff to a chair though..”, you roll your eyes, as if you needed to be reminded of the rough treatment.
New questions came popping up. How many are there? What were they like? Were there other women like you?
Gabriel kept showing you other rooms, like the bathrooms, showers, kitchen, storage closet and where the training range was- he was very particular that you would be using that area alot.
He finally came up to a door that had the sign, ‘MESS HALL’ on the front and opened it. The noise spilled out and you could hear men laughing and probably roughhousing by the grunts and chairs moving about.
“Quit bein’ a dick, Thomas!”
“You started it, McCree! Get an armpit to the face!”
“No, no, NO!”
All empty, playful threats with jovial laughter and not one of the five men noticed you enter the room.
That is until Gabriel himself entered and roared.
“ATTENTION!”
Whatever words, laughter or snickering were about to come out immediately ceased. Five young men stood at attention, some without their hands to their head. Then, suddenly, one of them chuckled.
He was wearing a cowboy hat with a red bandana wrapped around his neck. He dropped his hand and waved his hand at the Commander.
“What’s with the formalities, Gabe? That ain’t like you!”, he exclaimed. He had a thick Southern drawl and he was VERY cute. Auburn hair at half length and probably even more hidden underneath that hat.
“Shut up, McCree.. We finally have our last recruit joining us for dinner”
You hadn’t realized you were hiding behind Gabriel absentmindedly. He moved away, allowing the gentlemen at the table to get a full view of their new teammate. Five men stared at you- some excited, some shocked and only one with a full smile on his face. “McCree”, as Gabe called him.
“She looks tiny, Commander! What’s she gonna do?”
“Your new new teammate is going to be the team’s sniper. She’s done it in the past and now she’s going to do it now, for Blackwatch”
The boys nodded their heads as you came a bit closer as McCree beckoned you over with one metal arm. He pulled a seat out for you to sit.. And you thought it would be worse than this.
“T-Thank you..” you mumbled to McCree, loud enough for him to hear. He tipped his hat.
“So what’s your name, darlin’? Other than ‘beautiful’?”
You let out a loud laugh, you hadn’t been together for five minutes and the man was already trying to flirt with you. You saw McCree blush out of embarrassment, his flirting backfiring. It didn’t seem to discourage him from keeping a conversation though. He chuckled himself, scratching the back of his head.
“It’s Abelha”
“Abel-wha?”
You coughed into your hand. “Abelha, my grandfather used to call me that all the time when I was young.. It means ‘bee’ in Portuguese.”
A loud thump! hit the table that made you jump. A giant pot with billows of steam coming out of the opened top sat there. Your nose is filled with spice. The aroma hitting your nose so fast you began to drool. You must have been starving. Your stomach took an onslaught of vomiting earlier today and it was time to fill it up with real food.
It smelled amazing. The other men were thinking the same thing as well since you saw the drool escaping their lips. Your Commander sits down at the head of the table and everyone is quiet, like you’ve been given a present and are awaiting permission to open it.
Except for one, of course. McCree’s hand sticks out in the empty silence and grabs the ladle in the giant pot. Stirring it up a little, he takes a whiff and smiles, “This smells way better than the shit we had in Sweden, Chief! What’s in it?”. Gabriel cocks his head and shrugs. “It’s the Reyes Special. What’s everyone looking at? Dig in!”
McCree takes two ladles full of the steaming chili and passes it to you. You mutter a thank you and pour the chili all the way at the top of your bowl until it makes a small hill. You’re ready to dig in but then you hear a scoff.
“Hey, mind saving some for the REST of us?”
The younger man, probably around your age sneers at you. You take the ladel and immediately begin putting some of the chili back. The hunger inside must have gotten the better of you. You were taking more than you should have. Your face beet red from embarrassment.
“Hey! Cut that shit out, what are you the food police, chico?”
“She’s taking it all, Commander!”, said the other man sitting next to his friend. His light blue eyes turning from Gabriel to immediately shoot his head in your direction with an icy glare. Why were these boys so protective of the chili? This is an Overwatch base, surely there’s more than one pot of chili sitting around.
“Boy, you keep your mouth shut and just eat your damn food! Niñas been vomiting the whole ride over here, she needs the extra energy. So stop your pissing and whining and EAT! It’s only for tonight though, next night she’s only getting the same portions and the day after, and the day after..”, Gabe makes gentle eye contact with you, “Understood?”.
You nod. You didn’t think you’d be spoiled the entire time here anyways and you were so hungry. You hand the pot over to the guy across from you, “Sorry, sorry.. Here you go”.
He snatches the ladle from you but doesn’t sneer this time and begins making his bowl. You cut yourself from making anymore eye contact than you need to and just focus at the bowl of food in front of you. It was like someone took a sack of spices and hit you in the face with it. Taking your spoon, you scoop up a good handful and let it sink into your mouth. You give a quiet moan of delight. Your eyes close and a image of your grandmother’s smile floats into your mind.
2 notes · View notes
wavenetinfo · 7 years
Link
SPOILER ALERT: This story contains plot details from Monday night’s season 3 finale of Better Call Saul, titled “Lantern.”
Chuck McGill was not exactly an easy character to like. He was priggish, self-righteous, bull-headed, and dismissive. He claimed to suffer from an allergy to electricity that prompted him to wear a space blanket around the house and to force all people who came into his orbit to surrender all electrical devices. This illness, however, was ultimately proven to him (in a public hearing) to be more mental than physical. Let us also not forget he ruined his brother’s chances at becoming a partner at his firm, in part because he always felt his brother unjustly accrued the lion’s share of love from their mother.
Chances are that you wished some form of comeuppance upon Chuck. But chances are that it wasn’t that.
At the end of Monday’s season 3 finale of Better Call Saul, Chuck (Michael McKean) apparently decided enough was enough, and instead of continuing to face his daunting demons, he gave into the darkest instinct of them, taking his own life by literal lantern light. The decision, made by someone clearly in an altered, tortured state, came as a shock after he recently confronted the realities of his illness and seemed committed to change, putting in the hard work with Dr. Cruz (Clea DuVall). The results were tangible. He was shopping for groceries again, and could even hold a lamp for a short time.
But after his ego-crushing exit from the law firm he co-founded — his longtime partner/ally, Howard (Patrick Fabian), couldn’t usher him out the door fast enough, handing him a $3 million check drawn from his own personal account — and after a devastating conversation with his brother Jimmy (Bob Odenkirk), the sibling with which he waged many moralistic wars and the one he dismissed from his house by saying, “You’ve never mattered all that much to me” — something in Chuck finally broke. (It was all the more surprising after Jimmy showed up at his house and Chuck looked as good as we’d seen him in recent years, listening to music, surrounded by electrical light, etc.)
After taking a pill and reviewing the journal where he tracked his progress in exposing himself to electricity for the last time, Chuck decided he just couldn’t do it anymore. He shut down the power in the house, unscrewing lightbulbs, and ripping his home down to the studs in search of the one last electrical charge that was causing his meter outside to keep ticking. He never found it, spiraling further into chilling mania. In the final moments of the episode, Chuck sat in his office in a numbed-out state, robotically slamming his foot into his desk, where a lantern was perched precariously on some papers. Finally, one of the kicks did the job, sending the lantern tumbling onto the ground and quickly setting the room ablaze, presumably marking a fiery end to a fiery character who stoked the ire of fans.
RELATED: Michael McKean explains that Chuck shocker in Better Call Saul finale
One can only imagine the damage this tragedy will have on Jimmy, who was destroyed by that conversation with Chuck, one in which his brother also urged him to acknowledge himself for who he truly was. (“In the end, you’re going to hurt everyone around you. You can’t help it. So stop apologizing and accept it. Embrace it.”) The battle for Jimmy’s soul, though, was still ongoing. He attempted to right last week’s wrong of using innocent old lady Irene as a sacrificial lamb in his desire for Sandpiper lawsuit money. He returned her to the good graces of her mall-walking friends by trashing himself, ending his own elder law career that waited on the other side of his one-year suspension. (Yet another piece of ground-laying track for Saul Goodman.)
RELATED: The Cast of Better Call Saul‘ on the Pressures of Following Breaking Bad’ Elsewhere in the episode, Kim (Rhea Seehorn) finally saw the light of workaholic ways after her dangerous car crash and decided to focus on her recovery. She also more than hinted at a future, or at least future office, with Jimmy. Meanwhile, the dark-but-weak-hearted Hector (Mark Margolis) almost met his maker but was resuscitated by Gus (Giancarlo Esposito). This marks the second curious sparing of Hector’s life in a year by Gus, wasting the efforts of fellow Salamanca haters Mike (Jonathan Banks) and Nacho (Michael Mando). One of these men is already starting to find himself in the employ of Gus; the other’s fate remains unclear.
There are plenty of questions surrounding “Lantern,” so let’s flip on the circuit breakers and dial Better Call Saul co-creator Peter Gould, who just might illuminate a light bulb or two over your head.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Let’s start at the tragic end. When did you decide you were going to kill Chuck? Or rather, that Chuck was going to kill Chuck? PETER GOULD: It happened during the season. We had a choice, and Chuck had a choice. After the midpoint of the season — that great episode “Chicanery” that Gordon Smith wrote — there was this powerhouse confrontation between Jimmy and Chuck, and Jimmy won. Chuck was humiliated and there were a lot of choices that we could have made at that point. One choice would have been to have Chuck redouble his efforts to get his brother, to try another round of tricks. That didn’t feel right, and it’s interesting — the moments that I find most satisfying in the writers’ room are the moments where the characters surprise us, and our first reaction, of course, was what I just said: “Okay, now how is Chuck going to bounce back and be even worse?”
And the more we talked about it, the more we thought about what a brilliant man Chuck is, and what he would actually take out of this experience. We came to the conclusion that maybe this could be in some ways good news for him. Maybe there’s a chance for growth, even? [Laughs.] So while Jimmy is kind of wallowing in his anger — the winner in the conflict is the angry one — Jimmy is pissed that he has to go to community service, he’s struggling to make ends meets and keep the office with Kim — Chuck actually takes what we always used to call his hero’s journey. He goes out of his safe house and goes out into the world and makes the call to Dr. Cruz [Clea DuVall]. And of course, Chuck previously has been vociferous in denying that there’s anything wrong with him other than sheerly a physical ailment. Chuck has been dead set on avoiding any confrontation with the medical establishment. Of course, the whole end of season 2 turned on that. But now Chuck is actually reaching out to this person who he’s never trusted and never liked, and he does some of the work. And you see it in subsequent episodes that he’s under this doctor’s care, he’s starting to make real progress to the point that in episode 8, you see him go out to the grocery store and get his own damn soymilk, which for some of us is not a big deal, but for Chuck, it’s the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest barefoot and without oxygen.
That just all felt very natural, but we then realized that it’s one thing to make the choice to get help, but the bigger, more difficult problem in life is to carry through with change. And there’s really nothing more difficult than changing yourself. We’ve all tried it, it’s not easy to do, and under stress, as things continue in the season, Chuck reverts. Instead of taking it step by step as Dr. Cruz suggests, instead of really starting to understand himself in a deep way, he turns to the outside world and he starts blaming the outside world for what’s happening on his insides. Of course, the ultimate version of that is, after he has what might be the terrible final confrontation between the brothers, when Chuck says those terrible things to Jimmy, then he’s got an itch that he just can’t scratch. That’s when it all falls apart. And for me, one of the most heartbreaking moments in the finale is when he actually does call Dr. Cruz and there’s a moment where he could actually say, “I’m in crisis. I need help right now,” which is, by the way, what I would encourage anyone who’s in that position to do, but his pride won’t let him. Somehow, his pride keeps him from asking for help when he really needs it the most. And the results of that are, to my eye, tragic.
Now that he has been suspended from the law for a year, we’ve been asking a question in the second half of this season: Who is Jimmy McGill without the law? But for Chuck, in a way, he was nothing without the law. How much did Howard calling his bluff and removing him from the firm contribute to that downward spiral? And he really had no family left after what happened with Jimmy, including that devastating last conversation. What, in sum, led him to take his own life? It’s a little bit of a watercooler question: What drives Chuck to do what he does? I would point out, though, he is expelled from HHM with a giant bonus, and he still has his law license. As he said to Howard in the previous episode, he is getting better. There’s nothing to say that he couldn’t practice law himself. There’s nothing to say that he couldn’t turn around and try to hang his own shingle out in a very luxurious office or even join Schweikart & Cokely, or any of the other firms. There’s the possibility for renewal, and when Jimmy comes to Chuck’s house, Chuck is dressed properly, he’s listening to music, and he’s got it together enough to confront his brother and just cut him to the core. It’s only after he has that terrible scene with Jimmy that Chuck’s downward spiral begins. So to me, that means — however important what happened at HHM might have been — somehow it’s the scene with Jimmy that’s the trigger.
NEXT PAGE: Gould on McKean’s reaction when he learned the news, fan hatred of Chuck
20 June 2017 | 6:16 am
Dan Snierson
Source : Entertainment Weekly
>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>
June 20, 2017 at 12:46PM
0 notes