#so that explains the more solemn tone and i apologize if this upsets anyone

[marinerainbow]

OC x Canon analysis under the cut.

One of the reasons I love Pocho is because of how opposites they are. Especially in how selfish Poppy and Psycho are.

For Poppy, she isn't. She's selfless to a fault. Even in a way that's toxic to her own self; she would just stand there and let someone verbally abuse her in hopes they're at least letting off steam. She would- and has- stepped in the middle of a conflict just to drag someone out of it who, as far as she knew, didn't deserve to get hurt. And, if she had to, she'd sacrifice herself if it meant someone would live- whether she knew them or not.

She is genuinely a kind and good person. But it mostly stems from the fact that ever since she was created, it had been hammered into her head that she doesn't matter. And, even now, she holds that same value to herself. She feels like she has to have a reason to do things just for herself.

Psycho on the other hand, he is a selfish person. All of the weasels are selfish to varying degrees, and that includes him. The only reason he doesn't jump on people as often as he likes is because he decides it's not worth getting a lecture from Smartass. He'll act out on his impulsive thoughts without a care for how it may affect others, only how it would satisfy him. From small, silly things like biting into the soap bar, to more grim things.

He was mistreated like Poppy. Though unlike her, he decided he wouldn't let others dictate what he can and can't do. To an extent at least, since he still listens to Smartass. That and he's just that kind of guy.

You can even see it in how they both approached falling in love and confessing. Poppy fell for him first, but she didn't say a word. Because she knew he didn't like her back and didn't want to not only make him uncomfortable, but also lose a friend. Psycho however, it took him a long time to catch feelings for Poppy. But when he realized he wanted her, it didn't take him too long before he approached her about it. Even if she said no, he still wanted to get it out that he loved her.

Psycho can't comprehend why Poppy would just sacrifice herself so much. And Poppy doesn't get how he can't think of everyone involved. But they can agree on this; they love each other, no matter what. And they'll do anything for the other.

Poppy still has a hard time doing things for herself. But Psycho just sees this as an opportunity to make her smile. If he sees she wants the last piece of dessert, he insists she has it. And will growl at the others if they try to protest. If he notices she's eyeing a necklace or another piece of jewelry while window shopping, that store is instantly on his list of places to rob. And every time he does anything like this, he looks to her in hopes of gaining her approval. He doesn't want her sad, both out of love and because he prefers her happy.

And on Psycho's end, Poppy is finally able to make him think of others. Well, not all the others, just her. Before, he would have killed the bag boy without a second thought just cause. Now though? He hesitates. Because he knows Poppy wouldn't like it. And if he sees she's trying to mediate a nasty fight, he'll come in, scoop her up, and run out of there with her because he knows that this takes a toll on her. She manages to bring the good within him out, even if the good is only directed towards her.

Poppy has noticed. She sees how important she is to him, and that alone is enough to get her to cry happy tears. Yes, it is partially out of his own wants, but he still wants to make her happy. He still wants to do all this for her and protect her. She isn't used to people wanting these good things for her, and that only makes Psycho even more important to her. And makes her try so hard every day to make him feel just as loved as he makes her feel.

And slowly, Poppy's able to start thinking of herself because of him. At first, it was only because she didn't want Psycho to worry about her, but it started getting easier for her to do things that she needed for herself. From little things like buying that sunhat she's always wanted, to things like keeping out of Smartass' way when he's yelling at the others. Because of Psycho, she's now able to see importance in herself.

Psycho is a selfish toon. And Poppy is a selfless toon. It seems like they would be a toxic match. But it only shows how perfect they are for each other.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

The Proposals

MAIN MASTERLIST

bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,325ish

Summary: Bucky tries to propose to you, but nothing ever works.

Bucky knew on the second date, that he was going to marry you. But he also knew, that it would freak you out that if on date three, he asked you to marry him. So he waited. But a man in love could only wait so long. By the time you and him had been dating for seven months, Bucky couldn’t wait any longer. He dragged Steve and Sam to jewelry stores across New York, in search of the perfect ring.

After losing hope for the perfect ring, Tony offered to design one. For free. Bucky struggled with Tony’s offer, but eventually gave in once Tony and Steve showed him the sketches and mock ups they’d put together. Wanda and Natasha helped put everything together when the night came. There were lights strung up everywhere on top of the compound, a small table was set up for the two to enjoy dinner, and Bucky and ordered your favorite meal. Bucky had been nervous all day, he got dressed in his best suit hours before you two were scheduled for your date.

You were suppose to be coming home from a long Avengers business trip tonight. You had been going to different countries, advocating for the Avengers Initiative. Bucky and you talked everyday, but that was not enough for either of you. You were currently on your way back to the compound, flying on a quinjet from London. Exhausted, you decided to put the quinjet into autopilot and get a few moments of sleep before your date with Bucky tonight. The blissful thought of sleep soon was far away when a call came in from Fury.

“I have an emergency assignment for you,” he stated.

“Sir, I’m just coming off a long assignment,” you explained. “All I want to do is see my boyfriend and sleep.”

“You’re the closest to the emergency. I’ve already got your quinjet rerouting to the location and the information of the mission is being sent to you.”

“But—“

“And I have Rogers in charge of telling Barnes that you won’t make it. Good luck.”

You sighed, running a hand down your face before getting up and changing into your hero gear. All you longed for is a lazy night with Bucky but, as you skimmed through the information Fury sent, that seemed to be a few more days away.

Steve, on the other hand, was trying to pawn Fury’s assignment off on anyone else on the team. No one would take it. They were all hiding in the lab, trying to get someone to go up to the roof and tell Bucky the news. They had all witnessed his nervousness all day, and were even subject to some aggression from it. So they were all a little scared for their lives when it came to telling him that you wouldn’t be home for a few more days. Eventually, when the time came that you were suppose to be arriving home, Sam gave in and sat that he’d do it, as long as everyone else came as back up. They all agreed and headed up to the roof.

Bucky was pacing like crazy when they arrived. Tony had to suppress the urge to make a comment about wearing through the roof the closer they got.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve called. He had really tried to control his tone, but his best friend was an assassin. There was no hiding from him.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky quickly asked, fear taking over his whole figure. “Did something happen? Please tell me that Y/N’s okay.”

“She’s okay, Barnes,” Sam stepped forward. “She just won’t be able to make it tonight.”

Bucky’s face fell. “What? Why?”

“Fury called her in on another assignment. Looks like she won’t be able to come home for another couple of days.”

The team all flinched as Bucky’s metal hand hit the table, making the objects on it go flying. They all took a step back as they watched the anger in him grow. He suddenly flipped the table over before stomping to the roof stairs. The rest of the team stood their watching, feeling bad for him. They all knew that Bucky was nervous about this and that it was hard for the man to be open like this, but there was nothing that could have been done.

Bucky was moody the rest of the days you were gone. No one could stand to be around him, mostly because they were a kind of afraid for their lives. When he wasn’t taking his feelings out in the training room, he was locked away in your shared bedroom. Four days after the planned proposal, you stumbled out of the quinjet. The mission had not been as easy as Fury made it out to be. You were successful, but you were now more exhausted than you ever thought possible, had a bleeding cut down your leg, and you were pretty sure your ankle was sprained.

Everyone was there waiting for you in the hanger and were not happy to see your condition as you stumbled from the quinjet. Bucky was the least amount of happy about your condition. Anger was again his best friend. But the more he watched you move closer to him, the more worried he became. Bucky rushed over, immediately sweeping you up into his arms, bridal style.

“Oh, doll,” he whispered, his eyes worriedly raking over your wounds.

“I’m fine, Buck,” you said quietly, clearly worn out. “Just tired.”

“Let’s get you to the med bay.”

The proposal was long forgotten in the midst of taking care of you. Yes, Bucky wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. But it was more important right now that you get healed. You were ordered off your leg for at least a month. Not making you very happy, but Bucky was. That meant that you were kept safe from harm and he could take care of you whenever he wasn’t away on missions.

Both Natasha and Wanda pushed Bucky to try and propose several times while you were benched and he was taking care of you. But nothing ever worked. He’d get called away on a last minute mission or you’d be too exhausted from physical therapy to do anything. He tried 4 times during the time you were benched, nothing worked. And Bucky was getting frustrated.

After about two and a half months, you were given the clearance to train and put weight on the leg again. And Bucky went back to planning another proposal. He knew he didn’t want to do the same thing he had planned to the last time, bad luck and all. So this time, he was going simpler. He planned a movie night, just the two of you. Bucky bought all your favorite treats and your favorite pizza. The only thing he forgot to mention, apparently, was the fact that it was a date. He was getting everything set up when you walked in with Tony, Bruce, and Sam.

“Hey, Bucky,” you smiled, coming up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Theses guys told me that they were bored tonight. So I invited them to our moving night. Is that okay?”

Bucky’s hands clenched into fists as he looked at the men behind him. He immediately reprimanded himself for not letting the team in on his plan. When his eyes came down to look at you, he was met with your best puppy dog face and he could never say no to that.

“Sure,” he grumbled. “Why not.”

“Thank, babe!” You gave him a peck on the lips before helping the others get settled.

The rest of the night, Bucky was constantly crumpling things in his hands while he felt like the small box in his pocket was burning a hole into thigh. You were too engrossed in the movie and talking to Tony to notice Bucky’s irritation. But Sam did, and simply just smirked at the man.

When the others had left and Bucky and you had started cleaning up, you began to notice his mood by his silence and way he was throwing things away.

“What’s wrong, babe?” You asked, folding up a blanket.

“Nothing,” Bucky answered, far too quickly.

“Are you sure?” You moved to stand in front of him, curling your arms around his waist. “Did Tony say something to upset you, or Sam even?”

“None of them said anything. I’m fine.” He pushed away from you, moving into the kitchen with the trash.

“I don’t believe you.” You followed him closely. “Why won’t you tell me the truth?”

“I am!” Bucky yelled, turning sharply to face you.

You jumped back, taken back by his reaction. Bucky had never raised his voice at you, ever. Tears pricked your eyes as you tried to calm your racing heart. Bucky’s anger slowly faded, being replaced by guilt as he watched you shrink into yourself.

“Doll, I—“ He went to apologize and reach out for you but you took another step back.

“I don’t know what happened tonight to make you mad,” your voice quivered as you spoke, “but that reaction was not okay.”

“I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to shout.”

“Yet you did.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m going to go sleep somewhere else tonight. Let you calm down.”

“No,” Bucky frantically shook his head. “Please, don’t.” He tried to reach for you again, but you walked away.

“Some sleep might do you some good, Buck. We’ll talk in the morning.”

And then you were gone. Bucky fell back against the fridge and slid down it, head buried in his hands. He’d really done it now. You were never going to accept his proposal now.

You spent the night in Natasha’s bed, since she was away on a mission. Though, you didn’t get much sleep. You never did when you weren’t with Bucky, and same with him. And it clearly showed on the both of you in the morning. Dark bags under the eyes, slow movements, blood shot eyes, and solemn expressions. To the rest of the team, it was clear that something happened last night. They were just all too scared to ask what.

Bucky spent most of the next day in the training room, taking out his aggression, while you spent most of the day in your and Bucky’s shared space in the compound. You were trying to rack your mind around why Bucky had been acting so ornery lately. You were in your room when Steve called you in for a mission. It was going to be a smaller mission with just you and Steve. You were getting ready when Bucky walked into the room.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” Bucky stated.

Those words cause your heart to crack a little. Those were never good to hear. “Yes, Buck?” You replied, still getting ready while trying to keep yourself together.

“There’s something that’s been on my mind lately and I— wait. Where are you going?”

“Steve’s asked me to join him on a mission.”

“Already? I know you were approved, but are you sure? I’m worried that you—“

“Well you don’t need to be. I’ll be fine.” You flung your backpack over shoulder. “Will you be?”

“Will I be?”

“You’ve been acting strange lately. And then you come in saying that we need to talk… Bucky…” You sighed. “Did you come in to break up with me?”

“Break up with you? No!” He shook his head. “I would never.”

“Then what’s going on? You’ve been so aggravated lately and yesterday… well… you’ve never shouted at me like that before… it honestly hurt.”

“Baby…” He walked up to you, setting a gentle hand on your cheek. “I’m so sorry about last night. I just… I’ve been trying to…” His hand fell down to his side with a sigh. “I was going to propose,” he mumbled.

“What?” Your jaw dropped.

“And it hasn’t been the first time I tried… I’m sorry for taking it out on you. I was just so frustrated that none of my plans have worked.”

“Y-you…. You’ve been trying to propose? For how long?”

“My first attempt was when you were suppose to come home after your long business trip. But then Fury sent you on a mission and you came home injured… I tried multiple other times, but then I was called away or you were too tired. Then last night, that’s why I ordered your favorite pizza and snacks. I just wanted it to be you and me and—”

“And then I invited the boys. Oh, Buck.” You engulfed him in a hug. “I’m so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?”

“I would always forgive you.”

You and Bucky let your lips meet for a kiss. Upon parting, you decided to be brave.

“So,” you whispered, “are you going to ask me?”

Bucky quickly retrieved the small box from his pocket and opened it as he got down on one knee. “Y/N L/N, I love you will everything I have. I can’t picture my life without you. Will you—“

“Hey, Y/N,” Steve called, barging into the room. “Are you— woah.” He froze, studying the situation in front of him. “Am I interrupting something?”

Bucky groaned, allowing his head to fall against your stomach. You laughed as you set your hands on Bucky’s head.

“You think?” You giggled.

“I’m just gonna— yeah,” Steve rushed as he ran out.

“Is he gone?” Bucky said into your stomach.

“He’s gone. Now hurry before the team shows up.”

He leaned back into his original position. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

“Hallelujah,” Bucky muttered as he slipped the ring on your finger.

“Hurry up and kiss me so that we can escape before we’re never left alone again.”

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (4/?)

A/N: Not only is this a long chapter, but I found a way to incorporate a prompt given to me by @hoodoo12 almost two years ago I think. Also, @twenties-sweetheart I incorporated what led the reader and Zeta-7 dating. This fic is almost done. I think there's only one or two chapters left. Hope you guys enjoy!

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

_________

Chapter 4 : Your Answer

You remembered when you didn't love him; a time when you had hoped he'd be a father figure and a friend who you could play card games with on Tuesdays. You used to not know him; though once you did there was no turning back. You used to not need him, but you didn't know how you couldn't. It used to be a simple crush, but he already loved you from the start.

Perhaps, you had always known, but you didn't want to see it; you had wanted to know, but your brain at times didn't want to believe it. You thought words like his were meant for fairy princesses who lived in high towers above the heavens, for royals and the knights who attended to them; for anyone else….except you. It just didn't seem possible that this man could want you, but he did and explained for the last half hour as to why.

“That’s...that’s amazing!” you exclaimed despite yourself. “You really feel that way about me?”

He nodded, his face still flushed. “I do...I-I-I love you. Do you,” he gulped. “do y-you love me?”

Of course you did, you had said so a few times already, but he was going to need a better explanation; to be reminded continually. You screwed your mouth to the side, wondering how you could put it delicately. “Well…there's too much to say, and I know it would never be enough, but I can try. Oh, and if I start to wax poetic, then let's just say it's the writer in me trying to get out. Ricardo,” you paused, encouraging him to sit down because the poor man looked ready to shake out of his skin. “what I feel is beyond love; it's our souls dancing and singing in the night, moonlit kisses, and disappearing during daybreak. Why it's not even serendipitous, but a luxurious splendor you shower me in, day in and day out, with breaks which threaten to tear me into bits and madden me. It's an adventure," he perked up at this; it was familiar territory. "with discoveries and revelations that nip at my inward parts, and pains me with equal parts desperation, fear, and gladness." Caressing his lips with your fingertips, he sighed happily." You fill my mouth with bliss, working peace along the curve of my cheek, and color my world with mystical, intelligent sayings. Ineffable creature, your veracity; how you express yourself so honestly, I'm surprised the whole world hasn't fallen in love with you. Though, I'm glad you reserved yourself just for me.”

Placing a kiss behind his ear, he made a funny noise, but you continued. “To say I love you my dear Zeta-7 isn't enough, for you are as much of myself as I am of you. Like I've said before, I'll remind you as much as you need me to.”

“H-h-h-h-how do you know? When - when was it that y-y-you started to see me differently?”

The question really struck you as odd considering it wasn't in any of his usual tones; he had seemed so sure of himself earlier, and now self-doubt peaked it's little head out. It was solemn, in a faraway voice, followed by a frown, and the deepening of the lines in his forehead. You stood up, seeing as he seemed upset, and he took this opportunity to go and make some tea; it was one of his coping mechanisms. Soon the scent of lavender filled the house; he returned and set down the cups carefully so as not to spill it.

“Oh,” he frowned; a bit tired from the emotional rollercoaster he had been in for most of the day. “I'm s-s-so sorry. If only I-I kept things simple, then it wouldn't have gotten so complicated.”

“It's okay,” you whispered. “we're both a little flustered. It….it really took a lot of courage to say what you had said earlier. So you shouldn't apologize for being human.”

“But I'm - I'm still so sorry.”

You moved your chair as close as you could, stretching out to work your fingers through his soft hair, and managed to find the beginnings of silver strands, but you said nothing of it. “You should have seen how you looked when you told me you loved me. You were so earnest and charming."

He reached out to take your hand and place it upon his heart. It was beating wildly, almost dangerously you thought. You waited until he calmed a little, and when the heavy blush and the redness of his ears softened, you knew that it was time. He really was too much, too good for you, too lovely, and you sincerely hoped you wouldn't offend him. “I hope you're ready, cause this really is going to be a long story. I think by telling it, it'll make my answer to your proposal more believable.”

________________

For years, you two had lived in the same town, in the same neighborhood, only houses away from each other. It was funny how you two hadn't met before, though Rick would later tell you it was because of his job. At the time, you would say you were old enough to know what heartbreak felt like, as well as what warmth and kindness should be; though you hadn't been in any sort of serious relationship. Like any woman your age, you had dreams of meeting someone, but for the most part, your love life wasn't first and foremost on your mind; you were busy trying to get through everyday.

So when you met Zeta-7, it never occurred to you how much he would someday come to mean to you; let alone how much your life would change. Now, it had taken a while, a little longer then you'd care to admit. It certainly wasn't love at first sight, for under the set of circumstances in which you two had met, Rick had come off as a friendly old man. But of course, after helping you carry groceries, a cup of tea, and a ukulele song, you warmed to him and became fast friends.

At first, you were hesitant in allowing him into your home; you'd seen enough Dateline to make you cautious. So, you two would meet on your porch on a regular basis, though it was not long before you felt safe enough to let him come over and repair small appliances; it was fascinating watching him tinker. And when he wasn't too busy, you'd go and see what he was doing in the garage. Perhaps you should have known then that he was different, but you had no point of comparison, and just went with it.

Sometimes, you two would just watch TV or have an occasional dinner at Shoney’s, or a late-night ice cream on your front porch. And you'd listen to his laughter; how his happy noises seemed to fill up the house. You were delighted by the nuances of his gentle voice, and at night, he'd tell about the stars, going into detailed explanations of constellations and about other heavenly bodies. It made you wonder what was out there, and it only fed your curiosity. You were comforted by his warm presence, thinking it was nice to have a father like figure around again, to fill up the time, and carry on long, meaningful conversations with. His eye for detail and selective word choice made most of your conversations laid back but stimulating.

Whether it was in your house, in his kitchen, or a quick cup of tea in the garage, he enjoyed sharing his homemade brews and you enjoyed drinking them. While at first glance he seemed simple, you took quick notice of his genteel manners, in the way he talked, in his general presence which you found was pleasing. It did not take long to notice that he was a learned man, with various degrees which hung in the left corner of his living room; he was actually a doctor in several meanings of the word. Perhaps in all meanings of the word.

Watching him mutter to himself, blissful, carefully piecing together a device that did who-knows-what filled him with joy. And you had always assumed that anyone above thirty-five - at least from what sense and sensibility told you - could not have any passion left, but you saw it every time he showed you a new invention; you saw him as he should be. As though he were this character who stepped off a page, you found yourself growing ever so curious about his thoughts, feelings, and machinations of his wonderful mind. You wanted to get close, to know him better, and he took this positively as you wanting to be best friends. And when he held you in his arms for the first time, you knew that he had ruined men for you. He wasn't supposed to feel so strong, and his arms weren't supposed to be sure, and hold you warmly, and most of all, there wasn't supposed to be a flutter.

Now having it formed in your mind that he was indeed a man, you could not smother your curiosity, though still, you tried to conceal it. It felt good to feel cared for again, and you didn't want to threaten it. Still, the affection you held for him was not the kind one felt for a parent. And your hopes and dreams were shattered, with this sudden, intense awareness of him, conscious of every breath he took, of his mobile features, recognized every nuance in his reflections.

All those times when you'd watch him dance in the kitchen, swaying about, more spritely than others your own age, you'd laugh, and he’d ask you to join him. And when your hands touched, it was like a current passed through you, and that giddiness would last all day. Those hands, which could create worlds, whisk a cream, or trace pictures in the sand, you could hold them in yours for eternity. Even longer, if what he spoke of at times was true.

If he had weeks where work kept him busy, he would call you, and you'd drop what you were doing to listen; he was always so excited to hear your voice; it lightened up your day. Or when he finally saw you after a few days, he'd greet you with a warm hug, and you'd return with equal enthusiasm. At times, you felt as though neither wanted to let go and held on to each other longer than what was platonically acceptable, but you'd pretend as though nothing happened, even if your heart was screaming. Why you'd almost lose yourself in his grasp.

As a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, you never felt as though there were any hidden agendas, or that he had a pervy attraction to you. On the contrary, you felt like the pervert for feeling all giddy and excited whenever he spoke with enthusiastic intelligence or showed you his experiments. There were times when you'd reach out and pat him on the back, telling him he had done such a good job, and he'd gift you with his winning smile, which caused unusual thoughts to cross your mind, and it messed you up. What was he to you?

Whether you were at home, or you sat in his home for a tea party, you knew something was the matter with you. You were a mess of feelings, of messy, happy, effervescent feelings, which you expressed in your work, in your writing. Harmless thoughts, which lingered and filled the contents of a novel. It was the story of a young woman who had fallen in love with her older, mute neighbor. In your head, you reasoned that your character was nothing like him, that the older man, as brilliant as he was in mathematics, science, and botany, who expressed himself through his actions, and kindness was made up. Perhaps your readers thought the same, but the modest ebook sales only reinforced that maybe there was something to it.

Missed glances, brief moments where you touched, awkward laughs, and a heart heavy feeling sitting on your chest; he was always on your mind. In between your issues, when you were doubtful, he'd reassure you of your capabilities, and when he felt lacking, you'd remind him of his genius. And while there were many moments which had been lovable, which were dear to you, you replayed the times that were nearest to your ideals; of what fits into your daydreams. You're not sure when, but it had been you who started to flirt regularly, and watch him blush, stammer, and get flustered; it gave you an odd thrill knowing it had been you who had caused him to feel as such, but then it would trouble you all the more. It wasn't fair to him, and you weren't helping your cause.

What were you doing, trying to toy with the feelings of an old, lonely man, who had little in the world, but your friendship and a few possessions; it filled your heart with grief. You didn't want to hurt him, you just wanted him to think you were beautiful, smart, funny, and well everything you'd want your crush to feel. If you were unhappy, he'd cheer you up with gifts, desserts, and his generous affection. For the most part, you knew his intentions were honorable, but in your head, you'd hope differently.

It could not work, he was so much older than yourself; not that you cared. For all you knew you were like the daughter he never had. In your heart, you tried to resolve that all you felt was friendship, but then he'd smile, laugh, or be kind to you and you were falling apart. You weren't a kitten, you had always liked men your own age, but you didn't just like him, you were intoxicated by him.

He wasn't even handsome. Well…at first, you didn't think so. You did however find him strangely adorable, and lovely. He was tall and slender, so he wore clothes well. Very gentle and nice, clean-shaven, with abundant blue hair, with the exception of the few strands which choose to be rebellious, prominent buck teeth which gave him a childish innocence, but straightforward, electric blue eyes which reminded you otherwise.

Your eyes would follow him as he moved about the room. Rick had long lashes for a man and was just as impressive overall, and intelligence was even more so. Could anything possibly stop him? Death perhaps, though Zeta-7 didn't care to admit how age played a big role in his energy levels at times, but you knew it was to be expected. You knew what you were getting yourself into when it came to dating someone so much older than yourself; if he'd consider it that is. For hours, he somehow kept up with your foolishness, and you barely managed to follow his genius.

You'd follow if he asked you to come, and in time you knew you were his. You felt loyalty to him, the kind which you knew you'd never revoke. You thought at first that it was his personable nature which had endeared you to him, but it was everything. He was everything.

Zeta-7 had always been affectionate, but not in the way which made you worry. You craved it, his attention, his affection, and wished to be closer than woven gossamer, and took everything he was willing to give you. You were not in love, you would tell yourself, it was merely infatuation. He was simply a cheerful grandpa kind of man, whose arms you would melt in, whose gentle, and generous affection you were greedy for. You were selfish, that was simply it.

Then came the defining moment, which happened one night while you two were cooking together. You needed a few cloves of garlic to chop for the eggplant lasagna, and he just kept handing you cloves. You told him you had enough, and he smiled warmly, telling you there could never be enough garlic and you stopped. You two stared at each other for what seemed like hours even though only seconds passed. It was as though you had come to an understanding.

His winning smile had been the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, his eyes captured you, and you knew for a fact that what you felt was something greater than friendship. The rest of the evening you found yourself in a daze, and hesitant to be near him. In your heart, your feelings felt as though it were almost forbidden, as though you shouldn't feel this way for someone who was a great friend. You blamed these feelings on your own impatience, inexperienced like the man before you. Yeah, you wanted his attention, and he had been attentive. Everyday he made sure your emotional needs were met, he'd probably do just about anything if you asked him to, but you were scared, perhaps just as afraid as he was. Still, the words themselves were an enigma, they burned, they toiled, begging to be said, but you were afraid. Yet, you searched his face, and found the answer; you were falling in love with him.

His sing-song voice twisting and curling about you. You wouldn't risk it you told yourself, but before you went to bed that night he called you and apologized if he had offended you. “No”, you had said, “I'm just not feeling well, but I'll be fine. I promise, I'm going to be okay, so you don't have to worry about me.”

“I-I-I can't help it, I care about you.” was his sincere reply.

Those dizzying warm feelings of affection bubbled and boiled, and you did your best to try to repress them. As usual, he wanted to help you feel better, but you were afraid it would ruin things; you'd rather hurt yourself, then hurt him, and never see him again. For the next week, you thought long and hard, and the next time you two met, you were sitting in his home for afternoon tea, and you told him of how you felt right out of the blue. “Rick, I like you.”

Being the dear man he was, he thought you were talking in platonic terms. “Gosh, really? Well, that's why I'm - why I'm glad we're best friends.”

“No,” you sighed. “that's not what I meant.” You watched as his smile turned to fear, but you continued. “I know you're much older then I am, and you probably see me as some kid, but I'm a grown woman, with adult feelings. And for a while, I thought it was nothing, but I can't ignore it anymore. I care about you as my friend and I understand if you don't want that to change, but I see you as a man, and I hope you realize that I like you so much. There's nothing you can say which will change it because I don't want to change these feelings of mine. I'm not saying this to make fun of you, or because I'm lonely, but to let you know that I like you and that I'm not ashamed.”

So what if you were a kitten, you cared about him, and you knew that if he were to let you down, he would be gentle about it. The sweet, kind man that he was, gently, and carefully placed a shaky hand upon yours and gave it a squeeze. And he cried, “Gosh, you - you don't know how relieved I am. I-I-I thought I was a pervert for-for feeling the way I had.”

“Wait, you….you like me too?”

He groaned, as though he were in pain, and studied you before he continued. “I-I-I don't understand, I'm - I'm so old and gross, and y-you are like a freshly bloomed rose. H-h-h-h-how…..w-w-why?”

You reassured him, taking his hand in yours, rubbing your face into his shaky palm. “Because I just do.”

When he calmed, he looked at you with such affection, and the soft look he gave you made your breath caught. He was in love with you. Even back then, his feelings had been greater, but you dared not believe it. How could you believe it?

Your kind, gentle friend had won you over with such kindness and attracted you with a tender heart. When did you know? In moments when you saw him, not the old man, but of the softness, the beauty of an intriguing mind, and of winsome determination to be happy and to help you be happy too. You held each other so tight, you felt as though you were bound together.

He held you with a strength you did not realize one his age even still had. This was a time before kisses, before great declarations. It was a time to feel, to learn, to hold one another in a soul-crushing embrace. His heartbeat was alarmingly fast, and there had been something almost boyish in the way he placed a tress of hair behind your ear. You were the first to admit your feelings, but he had been the first to ask. A nervous chuckle escaped him, and a little lip-bite followed. “I-I am quite fond of you, and seeing that we - that our feelings are mutual, would - will you…will y-y-you go steady with me?”

As archaic as the terms might have been, it was still charming, and being the kind of man he was, you knew he meant it, and that there was only one way to answer. “Yes, I'd love to.”

Of course, you would go out with him. And forever, that memory would be etched upon your soul.

________

With wide eyes, he remembered how ashamed he had felt. He sat up, ready to shield his face, but you held your arms open. Like back then, you held each other in a soul-crushing embrace. “Do you understand now, my dear, dear friend? There was no way it could have been anyone else. Like a tree planted by streams of water, I've flourished under your attentions. You see me…. you see what I am, as I am. We make each other happy, every day, all the time.”

You two were not wary strangers; passersbys in one another's narratives; not in this instance at least. Neither were you two butterflies emerging from cocoons; descendants of lovers found in a field of barley; discovering and reveling in springtime gusts and gales. No, you were not beautiful like alabaster apples on a ledge; nor figments of one's imagination. You were, however, on the cusp of change; this was the rest of it; the continuation of what had been attempted two years ago; it was nothing like how you thought it would be, but the expectancy of the moment was palpable nonetheless. For your part, you admired the lovely scarlet coloring which crept up his neck and tinged the top of his ears; how becoming it was as well as boyish. And if it weren't already obvious, you didn't need time to think of a reply, and with clear purpose, you answered. "And dear, well, we are still friends. We're best friends. The sweetest, dearest friends that anyone could ever have, except that we love one another. Oh, I do want to. I will marry you."

Oh, whatever future there might've been destined for him, you altered its course by your acceptance of his proposal. Unlike the nihilistic view where no one had a choice, and what had been written was set in stone and that nothing mattered, you decided would not be so. In partaking in this agreement, you had taken on the consequences of what might occur in connection with Rick's work life. You had also taken on the responsibility of what you'd have to do once Rick surpassed the ability to mechanize himself any further than he already had. Still, you could live with this new burden because you were no stranger to heartache and had to make the best of what you two had; love made you do it; unbidden joy was your reward.

Tbc

[gxymlky]

Amiya in Bedivere’s interlude

I recently played his interlude again and again because it’s so sweet, this boy deserves the world. Also, in his interlude, he self-depreciate himself so I wanna insert myself that he isn’t like this.

(yeah, i tried but you get the idea) and the B-team is mentioned but not really the spotlight

Interlude began when Amiya was in her room busy with some paper works and was watching videos on her laptop when Bedivere entered greeting her, “Good morning, Amiya. What do you have planned today?” Amiya looked at him, kinda perplexed, “I was busy, but I might need a break” she replied, “then I shall accompany you, no matter your destination”

“Hmm. Maybe some place where I can breath a fresh air”

“Rayshifting? Perhaps training in the simulator?”

“I have done that with Rhion and Chiyo the other day, thank you Bedivere” Amiya acknowledged, her eyes still on the computer, listening to a video commentary of some memes, which she does while doing her paperwork whilst knowing she will add words from the video if she wasn’t paying extreme attention.

“Well, I am here on behalf of Miss Mash today---”

“Oh, it’s fine, I appreciate her looking after not only me but also everyone else.” she understood as she shifted a bit and faced him, “so..”

“I will try my very best to aid you then” Amiya smiled and muttered a thank you before shifting her position to stand up and stretch herself after hours of sitting down and crouching, facing the screen and the notes.

“Now that you mention it---” she forgot her medical check, Amiya remembered how her welfare is tied with her thaumaturgy, the more she draws from it, the more she feels sluggish or even collapse from a single blast from her staff she delivered, even Rhion mentioned she has to be careful or equip herself with a Mystic Code to not fall back.

Bedivere explains she was having her medical check and has to remain in the exam room all day.

“Medical checks are important, Amiya, you’re aware that Chaldea is isolated from the rest of the world,” he continued, “and is located in an extreme environment”

“I know, I know...” her words trailed as she let out a long sigh, arching her neck up.

“Our bodies and minds are under incredible pressure, we must always be aware of this, understand, Amiya”

“Yeah... you sound like my mother” she chuckled but he continued on despite her comment.

“and because you have exceptional talent, I don’t want you to crack under pressure especially if you have a frail body”.

“So please take care of yourself as the flames we are facing and the cold, uncaring environment surrounding Chaldea are quite different in nature and said to be exceptionally difficult.”

“That’s the challenge we are facing right now, Me, you, the staff here” she shrugged, “as someone who intended to be an intern now is tangled with these threads, I have slight mixed feelings” Amiya stated.

“And as such, frequent checkups are of critical importance here Amiya”

“I-is this the reason why you’re here to pick me up? I am going later. But okay, thanks”

She was thankful it was Bedivere who came to check up on her, she doesn’t have anything against when Mashu or Chiyo does, as long as it wasn’t Wilhelmina since she drags her out of her room when she doesn’t respond the third time, that happens so bad, even Bedivere saw it.

“Permit me to remind you once more: I am a substitute for Miss Mash today, as such, please ask me for anything, I am your attendant, your butler, I am your servant in every possible sense of the word”

“Ah, um, okay, by the way, where’s Chiyo?” Amiya interrupted as he shortly finishes.

“I believe she was with Lady Marie and D’Eon, they must be having a tea, would you like to join them?”

“Hmmm, maybe some other time, she might be replenishing herself today and deserves to take a breather.”

“I see, since you trained in the simulator the day before, maybe observing and monitoring the remnants from the Singularities would be appropriate as well.”

“Maybe, but I am off duty with that, besides, Wilhelmina and Rene are doing that as of right now”

“Hmm...”

“Battling to gain something is what will lead to further growth for you, Master”

“Huh...I don’t know much about that”

“Battles for the sake of the Grand Order”

“...”

“Or rather...” he continued on, eventually these battles will wear her, or anyone in the team down. Psyche, Soul, in modern times, Nerves.

“Heh, modern, it’s medical but whatever” she retorted

Bedivere paused for a bit

“There is something that crossed my mind, Amiya”

“What is it?”

“Normally, I wouldn’t dare mention something like this to other, but in your particular case...”

“I’m sure HE would be happy about it, without a doubt since he is that kind of knight.”

“Hmmm. He...” 

“I think you must be referring to Bird boy.. Tristan?”

“Yes, my comrade, the man who is the epitome of freedom. And also the comment, Bird boy...?”

“What of it?”

“When you say he is the epitome of freedom, the first thing that comes to my mind is birds, they fly freely...”

“You have good analogy, I’m impressed by that. Anyways, I occasionally would accompany him and believe it is a wonderful place to relax. But please, keep that to yourself.”

Relax huh, never heard that word in a million years but I am overreacting Amiya thought as she spaces a bit.

“The Rec room is what you’re referring to”

He laughs and asked her if it is where she think it is, Amiya nodded and shrugged, “Chiyo, Rhion and I hang out there, usually we pick meadow alps like the swiss alps where we sing and copy scenes from the Sound of Music”

“Ah I see, so you seem to know it as well, let’s head over there right away, I will leave a note for Sir Tristan and perhaps, Sir Rhion?”

“Rhion is likely asleep right now, so it’s just us”

“Alright, let’s go”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two arrived in the simulator, instead of a the Swiss alps she was so familiar with. It was completely different.

“The sea...”

“You’re less enthused than I expected, my apologies. I must reflect on my presentation”

Amiya shook her head, “n-no, no it’s fine. It’s alright. It’s good to take a breather somewhere else” her tone has a small bit of upset as if she was expecting something the long time only it didn’t leave up to her expectations.

“Ah, I’m glad you like it, but still it doesn’t make it any less better on my part. I will further reflect on my actions regardless.”

A simulator, a virtual creation of an environment of the outside world. They aren’t outside Chaldea and it would be a bit troubling if they went out since the endless winter is absolutely unforgiving Heroic Spirits or humans alike.

“The sea gives me a sense of peace. I hope it goes the same way for you, Master”

“Mm”

“Actually, I was initially skeptical about whether or not this would work. I accompanied Sir Tristan to watch him go fishing and listening to him ranting that was nothing but difficult to understand..”

“Haha, I see you take yourself as Tristan’s punching bag with his rants huh” Amiya mused.

“There was sincerely nothing to do except spending time just watching the sky and the sea. But surprisingly, doing so felt peaceful, or rather, calming to me”

“Ah, I see. So we are complete opposites but not really”

“Complete opposites?”

“Mhm, when you say the watching the sky and the sea is calming for you. I’d felt the same way except, I would watch the sky while lying down in the flowery meadow. Both is relaxing to us”

Bedivere chuckled and Amiya leaned closer to him, “maybe sometime, I’d bring you there someday where we’ll experience it together”.

The two looked to the sea until he breaks the silence.

“Amiya”

“Hm?”

“...Have I..overstepped my boundaries?” his tone. It was as if someone was confessing their crimes but at the same time, there was a tone of remorse and genuine solemnity.  “No, it’s fine. It’s nice to relax sometime and take a break away from all these..thank you, Bedivere”

“I should be the one thanking you, Master.”

“Please call me Amiya, I think I find the term Master a bit... uncomfortable”

“Alright, Amiya”

Amiya smiled and just stretched herself once again, trying to feel herself and the environment and slightly sides to his shoulder. 

“Would you like to try night fishing?”

“Night fishing?”

“Yes, did you know Amiya, Sir Tristan uses his Failnaught so skillfully to catch a many great fish..”

“Oh, but how do we get fishing gear then? Shouldn’t we entered the data before entering? I didn’t expect this to happen, I’m so sorry..”

“Ah, don’t apologize, Amiya. I requested Miss Da Vinci’s help on that front.” He then entered a few buttons on the multipurpose window whilst she waited.

“...Now I equip the extra item and we’re all set” he said. “Well, I’m sure there are other ways to do so but I don’t have much experience with the simulator”

“I think it’s enough, there are two of them and just teach me how to fish, if it’s alright with you, it’s been a while since I’ve fished and I completely forgot the basics”

After a few exchange with eachother, Bedivere guided the milk-haired girl, “the bait is already on the hook, so please cast it to the sea with all your strength, Amiya.”

“Eeyyy!” Amiya stood up, arching her back to further cast it away and hearing a small sound on the water surface. “Ah, I think it landed”

“Such bold and brazen movement, amazing!”

“Ahaha, it’s not that special Bedi” she appealed and looked at the sea again to detect any movement from the bait.

“But it’s really wonderful, did you any by chance tried fishing before?”

“As a child yeah, but it ended up so badly that I accidentally threw my teddy bear instead of the fishing line.” Recalling that said memory really takes her back where she was in a small lake with a family gathering, at such a young age of seven, she accidentally threw her bear and her having a total meltdown, thankfully it was recovered but the dress the bear was wearing was ruined. Looking back at it, it was so embarrassing. 

“Ah, is that why you take all your energy in casting the fishing line since you’re not holding anything besides that right?”

“You read me like a book, Bedivere” she then looked back at the sea, smelling the salty, calming atmosphere whilst holding the fishing pole. Bedivere said he will look out at the front so there’ll be nothing to worry about.

Amiya laid back again and let out a sigh before putting her hand on her nape, rubbing it to release the tension.

“...This is something that I’ve never said before...”

“..?”

“Nor did Tristan say this...but at times, I find myself thinking this: 

Tristan was torn between the two Iseults. And his fate led him to lose his life by the water. Or rather, his soul”

“Ah..” she remembered, she knew the story, it was how Tristan was poisoned and his last request was to see the Iseult he loved, but the other Iseult who was his wife lied to him about the sails being black instead of white.

Poor thing.. 

“Perhaps that is why he cannot be apart from the water. Even now, he could be waiting for that ship with the shining, pale white sail...” Amiya didn’t say anything but was about to open her mouth to say something when she suddenly jolted

“ha!”

“Something’s biting! It’s splashing. It must be a very big one..! It;s like Sir Kay swimming amongst the fishes!” the last part almost made Amiya chuckle but she is reeling back with her might, almost panicking.

“Almost there! The tug tho!”

“It could be a red snapper, mackerel, or even a tuna!”

“It could be all three!” 

“Alright, let’s reel it in, Amiya! And just like humans take pictures of the fish to record their greatest catches, we both can capture its data and show it to Miss Mash and Sir Tristan!”

“Add Chiyo and Rhion to the list!” she beamed

“It;s sure to make them smile!”

“Now reeeeeeel!” Amiya reeled with all her might with the help of Bedivere, her back was against his chest, close too close! She isn’t into those, yet and it’s making her cheeks burn

“Haa, it’s so big! The fish just leaped out of the sea” never in her life had she seen a fish so heavy and big.

Amiya walked closer to examine it until Bedivere held her back

“Wait..” the creature landed with a heavy crash, apparently it is a weird looking....fish?

“The fish we caught is...actually, not a fish.....”

The creature roared an eerily screech as it further lunged into the two. “Ahhh! T-that’s an enemy!”

“Oh, I’m so embarrassed...I must have made some kind of mistake when I am setting the system up, Doing something one is accustomed to can cause such trouble.. I pulled an all-nighter studying the manual...but I am no good at learning new things...”

“Stop the lamentation first Bedivere, for now, we need to get rid of this thing!” Amiya wasn’t able to bring her staff with her but she could put up small barriers to keep the enemy in place.

“Yes, Amiya, your commands! I am prepared to make amends for my misconduct, Or, I am prepared to accept whatever punishment you deemed fitting, but first we have an enemy to fight!”

His demeanor changed as he prepares to fight the enemy lunging forward

“I swear by my Airgetlam that I will dispose of this monster immediately!”

“Let’s go, Bedivere!”

SWITCH ON - AIRGETLAM

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DEAD END - AIRGETLAM

Bedivere slashed off the enemy to two before dying. Returning to normal, Amiya let out a deep breath, that was hell of a fight but it’s done. 

“...Please allow me to apologize once more. Even though it was only in the simulator, my most important job is to keep you safe, you being in danger clearly meant I failed my duty as a Knight. My efforts were fruitless once again, I apologize Amiya”

“It is alright, Bedivere, as long as you’re fine, it doesn’t matter. I am not mad to begin with” she earnestly acknowledge and patted his head.

He blushed as she patted his head, “Ah, Thank you so much, I am  undeserving of such kindness.

Amiya and Bedivere looked at the now dead creature before them. 

“Now...it would be a waste to leave this, so let’s eat it”

“?!” did she process this correctly? Eldritch things are not her cup of tea so she was clearly caught off guard but then she lacks self-awareness, any point he would coerce her to eat this and it scared her.

“I have memories from my previous life. For instance, from Round Table analects, King Arthur, number eight: Food is all the same. Nutrition is nutrition, even monster meat!”

“Haa.....”

“Now, Amiya...repeat!”

“Ahhh” Amiya walked back, clearly freaked out. If anything, she’d rather starve than eat those kinds of things, she had seen people on videos eating live octopus, geoducks, raw meat, hell even a roasted alligator. Roasted. Alligator, one girl from China even had her face scarred by an octopus in her attempt to eat it alive. But luckily, this one is dead so the chance of it scarring their faces is zero.

Amiya backed away even more

“T-those videos, haaa” flashbacks of people grossly eating really stood out as she backs out further.

“What are you talking about, Amiya? Why are you backing away? Amiya? Amiya?”

(just imagine her face during the whole event after the battle)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After running for quite sometime (not even long, just 10 minutes) and him after her.

“...Once again, my apologies. But now I’ve learned more about your food preferences”

“..sea grapes are something I actually like” she revealed. They aren’t as bad, but at least she could live with it than those Eldritch-type things, he is into.

“Ah, I’ll keep that in mind, in order for you to enjoy my dishes more in the future, I will continue to hone my skills” Amiya just nodded, tears and sweat are so visible and her expression seems like she’s simultaneously crying and laughing

“By the way...” she looked back as she wiped out her sweat with her handkerchief, “where are we?”

“The seaside we visited is Sir Tristan’s place of relaxation. Now we are at mine..” His expression softened as he walked past her. “It’s quite similar to a certain place in Britain”

“....A place of peace...well, admittedly this tranquil place is where I allow my mind to race. It is a place that helps me renew my resolve and reinvigorate my soul. So it may be a stretch to call this place a place of peace.”

“Oh. So like mine but in a different environment huh”

“Yes, as you mentioned, your place of relaxation along with miss Chiyo and Sir Rhion is the swiss alps.”

Huh, so he remembered, the smallest detail, something that you genuinely appreciated so much, everytime someone knew the teeny bit, their heart leaps with joy.

“Bedivere?”

“...” Amiya looked at him with concern, perhaps, her actions upset him earlier, “I’ll make it up to you what happened earlier. I’m sorry, I wasn’t educated in those types. I’ll promise to learn about them for sure.”

“No. It’s not about that, I was thinking of the past.”

“Huh?”

“Our Britain was a nation under constant threat of attack, never peaceful or stable...” He then explained that many fell victim to the chaos and he wasn’t able to save them. Then he told her about the Giant of Mont Saint-Michel. “A fearsome giant was wreaking havoc on the Mont Saint-Michel of Brittany”

Amiya carefully listened to him, her expression filled with soft curiosity like a child who wanted to see what her grandmother was knitting.  “...and kidnapped Princess Helena, the niece of the King of Brittany”. Helena. First thing that popped in her head when she heard the name was Caster Helena Blavatsky, though she didn’t want to sound disrespectful and just swallowed the thought. The atmosphere isn’t even a time for cracking jokes or a quip.

“Our King Arthur took Sir Kay and myself to hunt the giant down and rescue her..” His eyes lowered a bit but soon looked at her, “and on that quest...to be frank...I was of no help to the two of them. King Arthur and Sir Kay defeated the giant in a gruesome battle and brought some peace to Brittany.” Amiya’s expression slightly lit up, “and bam! It’s a finally happy ending right! At least you and your comrades brought peace” she chattered. But even her cheer isn’t helping.

“On the other hand, I...I could not save the princess.”

“Ah, so she...”

“Yes, by the time we arrived she has already been gone. I was too late, powerless as I am. All too little, too late. Princess Helena, known for her grace had her young and promising life plucked away, and we found only her pitiful corpse”

“Oh,” Amiya couldn’t believe what happened, she couldn’t imagine what guilt and pain he must’ve felt when he saw the once and beautiful, lovely princess, once filled with life and possibly cheeriness now snuffed out of her. It is something that reopened a painful memory in her past.

“I couldn’t save the people dear to me. First, Princess Helena. Then, the Battle of Camlann, my king...Arthur. I failed not once, but twice”

“...Bedivere”

“...This place..it reminds me of where Princess Helena drew her last breath. Every time I stand here, it reminds me...that I am a powerless knight...I am but a man who lost the two people he swore to protect”. Amiya grabbed both of his cheeks slapping it together causing him to snap out.

“That’s wrong Bedivere!” she asserted. 

“Amiya?”

“Just because you can’t save people dear to you doesn’t make you a complete failure! Do you think Helena would be happy if you continue to depreciate yourself further? Do you think your King or your comrades would like it if you degrade yourself further?! Not only I find it absolutely repetitive and annoying but I couldn’t stand seeing you this way as your Master.” Amiya then lets go, “I’m sorry, I kinda went off”

She looked away, “you see when you mentioned Princess Helena and about her, there’s also a memory that I repressed for so long, I don’t even share it with close people like Mashu and Chiyo”.

Amiya then placed her index finger on her lips. “Please keep this a secret between us, Sir Bedivere”

“You have my word, Master..”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    

It started back in Junior year of high school, when a girl her age was introduced in her class, her name is Rika, but she was bound to a wheelchair and the desk beside her was empty, since she was beside it, the teacher assigned Amiya to aid the new student to the assigned desk. She didn’t think anything of it until she saw her one day on the garden alone, drawing. Without a doubt, Amiya approached Rika and asked what she was doing, drawing flowers, Rika stated that the flower’s beauty lasts temporarily and if she were to pluck it, then it will hasten its beauty and dies much faster, the least she can do is draw and keep an original image even if it is not as accurate. Amiya was interested and seeing how talented Rika was, she was curious what technique she used and even taught her how to mix colors, soon their friendship blossomed, Amiya who was a recluse became more open and willing to help, she never had any real friends even if she has, she does not consider them close. The two shared same interest with one another when it comes to history and their love for retro things. Their bond grew stronger as time passes, it came to a point where Rika needed to be hospitalized due to an illness slowly eating her life away, she was due in operation and wanted to spend her time with Amiya before her operation. In reality, Rika had no friends and her grandparents homeschooled her before going out to a real one, Rika’s first and only friend. Touched by this, Amiya encourages her that she will make it regardless and gave her a charm to remember her by once she enters the operating room. Amiya went home in hopes the surgery would be a success. Only for her to learn from her mother days later that Rika had died during the operation, but prior to that, she left a small gift and a letter to Amiya indicating how much she appreciated her and the fact she was very patient whenever Rika would ask her questions and never get mad or irritated nor does she feel pity just because she was bound and with that, she is also able to make friends through her while Amiya opens up to people at the same time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If it wasn’t for Rika, I would’ve not made friends along the way...

“I just had to share that, after your telling about Princess Helena, I learned that we both share the same parallels,” Amiya said as she clasped both her hands on her chest. “It’s because I don’t want you to feel the burden alone...her last wish to me was I hope I’ll be able to live my without fear, and every time I recoil or hesitate, I think of her resiliency and how she is able to withstand any obstacles in her way...”

I was scared, I didn’t know where I was going nor what I am going to do until I met her... and when she was cruelly taken away from her grandparents, from me, from my newly-made friends.

I know she will not always be around to help me...

The least I can learn from her was to move forward despite everything...

“Bedivere, you are not powerless, you stayed loyal to your King until the very end. Even undergoing those trials just to return Excalibur to your King and you call yourself powerless? Those were the most daring and valiant task you did!”

He blushed, but she still continue

“In the end, we will face adversaries together, that is a way to keep moving forward. So please, for your King’s sake...don’t belittle yourself anymore..”

This warmth, her hands touched his cheeks, cupping them together. “Thank you Bedi...”

“Master, no, Amiya...those words...” So assuring, so gentle yet firm, it was as if she was sharing her pain with him which was the case. He wonders why she would give those words to someone like him, someone who doesn’t even deserved to be numbered among the Knights of the Round Table but now...

Bedivere knelt down in front of Amiya, “w-wait----”

“Master, even if I am a powerless man who does not deserve to be included among the Knights of the Round Table and the words you have expressed to me, and yet, because of that----nay, I shall offer you this vow, knowing that my manifestation here with you was truly a miracle...

I shall protect you, Amiya, who fights these brutal battles to defend humanity’s future.

No matter how powerful the enemies coming to our way, no, no matter how cruel the fate we face may be....

Your life...your soul...your heart...every single part of you.

I shall protect you till the very end..”

Amiya dove down in his kneeling height and wrapped her arms around him, her eyes are swelling now, tears are falling, tears of warmth, assurance, happiness or whatever it is, someone willing to protect her and, the feeling is mutual too, she also wanted to protect her brother, Chiyo, Mashu or anyone dear to her

“Thank you, sir Bedivere” she sobbed through gross crying. She had never cried this far aside from her friend’s death who turned her to be a caring, open individual she is today.

“....Yes, Amiya

I swear I will live up to your expectations..”

and with that, Amiya kissed him on the cheek causing him to blush deeply.

[melodramaticfanatic-blog]

Window to your soul(mate) - Ch. 3

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

A/N: A bit short but fun. Sorry, I haven’t been able to give this my full attention but there is more good stuff coming I promise!

Warnings: smut…eventually. Fluff and slow burn. It’s safe to assume that all my stories are going to have at least a little NSFW, 18+ and language. Just how I write.

Summary: 3 months after moving to New York City, Y/N feels like she has finally found her footing. She has a great apartment, is making friends and has a steady enough job to pay the rent. She’s even gotten used to the empty apartment across from hers…but all that changes when a handsome film star returns home after months of being away.

Master list

Ch. 1   Ch. 2

Gif not mine, credit to owner

“It was a hard day’s night, and I was working like a dog. It was a hard day’s night, I wish I’d slept more like a log.”

Y/N sang the altered lyrics under her breath to herself as she finished mixing up a cocktail. She wasn’t much of a drinker but after the busy shift last night, she had come home and been unable to fall asleep. Exhausted and sore, Y/N had laid in bed for hours, willing her brain to shut off and just let her get some rest. Unfortunately, it had been nearly 8 AM when she finally drifted off into an uneasy slumber. Worse still, it was a mere three hours later that she woke up and found herself unable to close her eyes again. 

Giving up on the idea of more sleep, Y/N had decided to mix herself a drink and sit out on her balcony with a book. If there couldn’t be sleep, let there be sun!

“But when I get home to you, I find the things that you do will make me feel alright!” She finished the line by taking a sip of her drink and giving a satisfied moan before collecting her book off the counter and walking to the balcony. 

Being outside always made Y/N feel better and today was no different. She placed her glass on an end table, watching as the slight condensation beaded up and trickled small rivers downwards, then slouched down into the chair, propping her feet up on the balcony railing and pushing her sunglasses up slightly on the bridge of her nose to better shield her eyes. For several minutes, Y/N simply sat in that position, reclining in the sun and feeling relaxation wash over her for the first time since Sebastian had left the bar last night. Shifting in her chair to find a more comfortable position, Y/N picked up her book and began to read, losing herself in the fantasy world spun by the author’s well chosen words. It was a good book, full of mystery and complex characters so it wasn’t long before Y/N was fully enveloped in the plot and mostly oblivious to the world around her. If the book had been less enthralling she may have noticed the man coming out of his apartment to stand on the balcony across from her. 

“Uh-ahem, uh, excuse me?”

Y/N was brought out of her book to the sound of a throat being cleared nearby. 

“Uh...Y/N? Um. Hi. Hello again.”

She glanced around quickly but didn’t see anyone. Then she sat up slightly to peer over the railing. It was as she moved her feet so that they lay against the rail instead of standing perpendicular to it that she was able to see the man on the balcony across from her. The man who had seen her naked in the window. The man who had written her a note apologizing. With the weight of a freight train, Y/N recognized him. It was Sebastian. 

“What. The. Actual. Unholy. Fuck.” Y/N spoke slowly making every word it’s own phrase. 

“Yeah...” Sebastian looked highly embarrassed and his gaze was bouncing continuously between Y/N’s face and the ground as he rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort. “I did say that I’d see you around. Maybe I should been a little bit more specific though?”

“You think?!” Y/N burst out angrily. “It seems to me like something you mention. ‘Thanks for the beer. Oh, by the way, nice tits. Thanks for putting them on display in the window Neighbor!’ What, that fact just slipped your mind?!”

“No, it’s just...” Sebastian trailed off, his face beginning to flush as he became even more embarrassed due to her reaction. “Well, think about what you just said! I couldn’t really think of a way to slip it into the conversation.”

“How about the fact that you’re famous?” she hissed back venomously. “Couldn’t find an opening for that little tidbit either?”

Y/N knew that she was overreacting but she didn’t seem to have any control over her own mouth. It was like an out of body experience; she didn’t intend to treat Sebastian with such vitriol but she just stood by, watching it happen. The truth was pretty simple: she was embarrassed. She hadn’t recognized him last night and probably still wouldn’t have made the connection that the cute Sebastian she was chatting with was the famous, sexy Winter Soldier Sebastian Stan if Maggie hadn’t squealed that information excitedly into her ear after he had made his exit. She felt a fool for flirting with him. The lack of sleep probably wasn’t helping matters either. 

“It didn’t seem relevant to our conversation. I must have forgotten my manners,” Sebastian’s voice was becoming more heated as he spoke and his hand had dropped to his side as he stared back stonily at Y/N. “See, I normally start every conversation by explaining how famous I am, what my net worth is and providing the address of my current residence.”

“Don’t do that,” she spat back exasperatedly. “Don’t pretend like I’m the bad guy.”

“What makes me the bad guy?!”

“I didn’t say you were the bad guy!”

“Well, who’s the bad guy then?! What the hell are we fighting about?!” Sebastian threw his hands into the air in disgust.

“We’re not fighting!” Y/N practically screamed the words across the small distance between their balconies.

Sebastian’s face turned to one of comical outrage and he screamed back, “What the hell do you call this then?”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t sleep well so I’m being a bitch! This is the second time that I’ve made a fool of myself by behaving badly in front of you and I don’t like it!!”

For several seconds there was silence except for the sounds of the city as Sebastian took in what Y/N had just said. She stood on her balcony, breathing hard and trying to regain her composure, hoping she still had a shred of dignity left to cling to. Then he started to laugh.

It was a beautiful thing. Sebastian laughing was a full body experience. His head tipped back in an attitude of full release as his eyes and nose scrunched up and his mouth opened widely revealing his perfect white teeth. The laughter came from deep in his belly, rumbling through his chest and shaking his large frame outwards from the core. It rolled through the air like music and set Y/N at ease, drawing the first smile from her since she had recognized him across the gap. Still laughing, Sebastian moved his hand up to cover his eyes which were beginning to water from mirth.

“That may be my favorite apology of all time. In fact, I think this is my favorite fight I’ve ever had.”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said more sincerely since she wasn’t screaming it this time. “And really, that wasn’t a fight...it was more just me being frustrated with myself and you being too close to me as I vented.”

“I’m collateral damage,” he replied wryly with a shrug and a chuckle. 

“Something like that...I really am sorry. A friend of mine back home used to compare me to the Hulk. She called it a code green when I was upset.”

“I don’t think that’s strictly necessary.” Sebastian held out his arms, putting himself on display. “I’m still fully intact.”

“Yeah, well, I’m tired. Next time it’s a code green, I’ll try and be more efficient in my destruction of you.” Y/N gave a wink and a half smile.

“I’ll look forward to it. In the meantime, I actually interrupted your reading for a reason.”

“Oh, you mean you didn’t want to simply yell nonsense at each other for no reason? I thought we’d already accomplished what you set out to achieve.”

“Well that was just part one of the plan,” Sebastian retorted, falling easily back into a teasing tone of voice. “See, I wanted to apologize to you for getting off on the wrong foot.”

“Look,” Y/N said pointing her finger accusingly at him as he smirked across the gap at her, “just stop being so nice right now. I already feel foolish enough, you don’t have to keep making it worse.”

“Making you feel foolish is part two of the plan though. It’s how I start all my friendships. Part three is where I tell you that I’m hosting a dinner for some of my friends at my apartment tomorrow and I invite you to join us.” Sebastian stood on his balcony, his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants and stared across the void to Y/N. His voice was sincere and laced with just the smallest amount of trepidation beneath the teasing. 

“You want me to come to dinner with your friends?” Y/N asked incredulously. “I’ve inadvertently flashed you, teased you while acting as your waitress and now screamed at you for no reason at all. Either you’re crazy or you’re really desperate for friends.” She was shaking her head in disbelief at the handsome actor as a small smile played across her face. 

“Desperate for friends,” Sebastian retorted while nodding, his face furrowed into an expression of mock solemnity. “Yeah, I sold all my previous friends into slavery on the black market so I need a new inventory.”

“Oh, well in that case I’d love to come. I’ve always wondered how much I’d be worth on an open market.”

Sebastian was grinning widely again, reveling in the teasing banter that already characterized his relationship with Y/N. “Perfect. It’s just a low key, casual thing since I haven’t been in the city in a while. Come on over around 5 PM tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there...and this time I’ll behave myself!”

“No need for that,” Sebastian said as his eyes narrowed hungrily and his mouth twisted into a devious smirk. “I like it when you misbehave.”

Next

WTYS tags: @ajosieface  @lolabean1998  @shynara51  @secretoktober  

[intotheshadowblog]

Chapter XI “Strange revelations”

After that day in the temple of the ancestors Írimë and Loki had hardly spoken. She began to believe that maybe he was sorry that he had made that huge confession and that's why he stayed away. It got her attention that he did not even try to communicate mentally. Irime had begun to feel sad. She was surprised at herself, understanding that she missed his presence, Asgard no longer seemed so beautiful.

Her thoughts were upset, he was a Jotun, everything made sense to her. But he did not understand why they had abandoned him, she definitely refused to believe in that.

But that night, just before she decided to go to bed and while she watched the landscape from the huge window of her room, a servant had brought her a message from the prince. Irime felt happy. It was a letter and she sat on her bed while unfolding the paper, she saw that there were two papers together, one older, decided to start with the most recent, the letter said: “I apologize to you for such an overwhelming confession, I have decided to walk away because I wanted you to make your ideas clear. I’m not sure I did the right thing but I almost never question things from the right side. I know that the Jotnar are special for you and that is why I do not ask you to understand what I feel, but if you have doubts about what happened here I sent you a letter that my mother wrote when I arrived in Asgard, maybe it will help you understand my feelings . Please read it but never tell my mother to show you this. If you still want my company and my help, my offer still stands, we can find ourselves in the balconies of the main hall, I will be waiting there in case you decide to come "Loki

Irime remained a few seconds thoughtful, smiled knowing that she would see him again and almost in a sigh said: "But I understand what you feel …” She took her eyes to the other letter and she read:

“Oh what an inexplicable feeling I felt when I had you again with me! So long hating myself for leaving you there, even though I never really got away from you, even though I always found the way to see you, you were so far from me, and there was so much pain in my soul, so much guilt. I knew that your father would take care of you and I do not explain how he could have done something similar, the Jotnar do not abandon their family, I knew that when I fell in love with him. I write these lines because I want to retain this feeling, I want to tell you when you grow up what happened. Odin is a good king and has been a good husband, his relationship with Jord enraged me and although I understood that I could love Thor and raise him as if he were my son, I thought that revenge would be the best option, never is it. But sometimes things do not go as planned, or maybe someone else plans them for us, I do not know, the fact was that I fell in love with that Jotun and revenge cursed me. When I found out about my pregnancy I got scared, but this gift of seeing the future helped me understand. I told Odin the truth and he was not able to understand, that’s why I left you in Jotunheim, I knew that your father would give you the love you needed and that you would not have here. I want you to know that he loved you with all his soul, and his last act is a mystery to me .. I think Odin will be a good father after all, I challenge my visions and I know he will be the best for you .. Now that you are back, now that Odin has accepted your return, I am happy, we will be a family at last. "Your mother who adores you, Frigga.

ïrimé dried her tears and sighed.She felt honored by his confidence, this letter was very private and he had decided to show it her.

She still could not believe it but Frigga had confirmed the story of Loki, she had come to believe that Odin had lied but did not think the queen would be able to do it too, she knew that Frigga was telling the truth.

____________________________________________________________

Irimë found Loki on the balcony of the palace’s main hall. She approached silently and stopped without saying a word. He turned around and smiled

-Did you come…

He said as if he had been doubting it. She nodded

-Thor told me you’ll stay until your queen returns.

Írime nodded again.

-My queen can not stay out of Alfheim for a long time, I will be her representative and I will continue the negotiations.

Loki smiled again amused.

-Negotiating with Odin, only a fool would be able to accept that challenge

She looked at him seriously

-Odin does not scare me …

-I did not mean you…

He replied

-It would be fun to see how you tear him apart

Ìrimë remained serious although this time she wanted to laugh

-You have not understood yet, right? This is about avoiding war and not provoking it …

Loki sighed annoyed

-Yes, yes, yes … I understand but do not ruin the fun.

She did not answer. Then sue pressed her lips and extended her hand to him and handed him the letter he had sent her that was written by his mother.

-The letter from your mother.

Told him. He put his eyes on the paper and took it delicately.

-I know you think that telling me your story was a mistake but it was not.

A sudden flash lit his eyes, but that was it, then his expression turned cold and his eyes stopped shining. Even for someone like Ìrimë, who knew how to see beyond the pupil, it was impossible to see anything but darkness.

He ducked his head silently and that was it. She knew he would not talk about it again. She could understand it and knew that one day he would open his heart again, she could wait.

Then he raised his face and that carefree expression had taken the place of the shadows.

-Do you still want to know more about Heimdall?

She nodded

-I thought maybe we could pay he a visit, it could be enlightening.

Ìrimë hesitated a moment, never thought about going back there, she realized that that scared her.

-I will go with you…

He told her and she felt that strange but pleasant sense of security again. Even though this was against her nature she felt that it were truly nice.

-If you come with me … then I’ll go …

Loki smiled honestly this time, that someone trusting him was also against his nature.

___________________________________________________________

Loki and irime arrived at the celestial Castle, Himinbjörg, and surprised Heimdall with their arrival. The Aesir was not in a good mood and looked at Loki angrily

-Why do you hide from my eyes?

He asked him visibly annoyed although with his usual solemn tone

-Because it’s fun…

Loki replied

Heimdall changed his stern look when he saw Irime coming forward and stopping next to Loki in a majestic gesture, she opened her arms and one of them was ahead of Loki, anyone would have said that that had been a protective gesture. Even Loki frowned when he saw this and maybe at first he thought it was funny, but suddenly the Istari began to emanate from her body a silver and incandescent light, it extended beyond her fingers, illuminated her body completely, she looked at Heimdal with a terrible look and with a voice that could be heard like thousands of voices and in a language that Loki recognized as the language of his ancestors, that same language that she had told him in the library that she was not able to understand ,She told him:

- I am the protector of the wind, the victory is by my side and you, Vadhler, you are the last resort.

Loki remained, for the first time in his life, without words but Heimdall did not seem unfazed by this, on the contrary, he stood up in a majestic gesture and said in the same old language:

-I have waited for you, Sigyn, and although our missions are opposite, I was created with the hope of your arrival.

Loki was allusive to this scene, he could not understand it but it fascinated him, then irimë staggered and the light began to wane, Loki arrived in time to hold her in his arms, she had almost lost consciousness, Heimdall bowed his head silently. Irime …

He told her in a whisper and lifted her into his arms she began to react, Heimdall then approached and prepared to help

-Feel her here

He told Loki, who took her to a bed covered with thin golden blankets

Loki laid her there while she barely looked at him, she was pale and trembled from head to toe, he stroked her face for the first time and she regained life completely.

She looked him for a moment, it was the first time she was so close to his eyes.

-What happened?

She asked with a broken and weak voice and Loki understood that she had not been aware of that, only he had witnessed it because he were afraid that Heimdal was not surprised.

Loki whispered calmly

-Shh … rest …

And saying to Heimdal in that ancient language Loki asked him:

-What happened here?

Heimdall looked at him for a few seconds before answering, Irime moving her eyes from one to the other.

-There are things that can only be revealed in their time, I can not tell you anything else

-I’m demanding you, doorman …

Loki told him with the imposingness of a king

-It is not me who must accelerate events, she will understand when she must understand, the plan of the universe has been set in motion, we are only pieces in a big board … Loki made a gesture of disapproval

-I’ll find out what it’s about, doorman -he said- -You will, said Heimdall

The he turned his gaze to Irime who clung to his body as if she were in a very high place and afraid to fall.

-Let’s go Irime … I’ll take you home …

Irime could hardly keep her eyes open, her whole body trembled but hearing Loki say that flooded her soul with happiness, he would take her home, which house? Asgard was not her home and she felt that Loki thought the same, she could only weigh, and this did not mean that she understood that thought fully, she thought while she felt Loki lift her up again in his arms and she gently rested her head on his chest, "I’m home.” and sighing she smiled.

[vicioushyperbolizer]

More Ace Dex

Ace Dex combating the casual aphobia that we all deal with at some point.  

“Dude, you’ve never done the nasty?”

Dex rolled his eyes, hard. Whiskey’s tone was just this side of shocked, and it made Dex was to take back the fact that he had said anything at all. It wasn’t exactly that he expected the team to be more understanding than other people, but he hoped that was the case, anyway.

On top of that, Whiskey managed to catch the attention of Ransom and Holster, who were walking past, heads close together.

“Wait, what’s this about someone never smuggling the ol’ bone?”

Ransom gave Holster a critical look, then grinned in that way that only someone on the wrong side of tipsy can. “Playing hide the sausage.”

Holster countered quickly with, “Making the beast with two backs.”

“Assault with a friendly weapon.”

“Entangling the lower beards.”

“Joint sessions of Congress.”

Holster held out a fist. “Bro, pound it out for that one.”

With a solemn nod, Ransom offered tapped his fist to Holster’s. Dex hoped that their (truly awful) back and forth would distract them from what was going on, but instead they plopped onto the couch to join in the conversation. Well, they pushed their way onto the couch, which was already too full, Ransom on one end and Holster in the middle of Nursey and Dex.

Whiskey pointed in Dex’s general direction, and told the captains, “Apparently, Dex has never had sex.”

Holster threw a big arm around Dex’s shoulder and turned toward him. Dex could smell tub juice wafting off of him. “Dex! My dude. My man. Bro. We gotta resolve this.”

“It’s not a problem. There’s nothing to resolve.”

On the other side of Holster, Dex could see his boyfriend’s concerned face. Nursey knew that Dex’s sexuality (well, his asexuality) was still a touchy subject. On the best of days, it was hard for him to have a conversation about. On the days after a game loss and with a group of drunken and less than subtle frat boys, well…. Chances were that it wasn’t going to go well.

“No, but Dex. Dexy. Dex. Sex is so good. Tell ‘im, Rans, tell him about… Shit, what’s a good one for Dex? Crab fishing in the dead sea.”

Dex scrunched up his face. “Dude, that’s fucking gross. And no, whatever fucking euphemism you use, the answer is no.”

On the other side of Holster, Nursey stood up and held a hand out to Dex, and yeah, that sounded like a better idea than having a discussion about life choices with a very drunk Holster. Dex pushed off the couch with a solid fist to Holster’s thigh, maybe a little harder than strictly necessary. He followed Nursey under the caution tape and up the stairs to Chowder’s room.

They spent the rest of the not-kegster (because apparently it could only be a kegster if they won the game) hiding out, watching Brooklyn-99. Dex could feel Nursey sending him concerned looks, but he ignored them. They fell asleep together, cuddling on the thin mattress.

When Dex woke up, he felt like he was roasting. Sometime during the night, Cate and Chowder had climbed into bed with them. Somehow, Cait ended up cuddling close to Nursey, while Chowder was curled up at their feet (probably because it was the closest to the bathroom door… he was a bit of a messy drunk).

Dex stripped off his hoodie and headed downstairs, where he could already hear the sounds of Bitty’s hangover breakfast being cooked. Bitty was in front of the stove wearing an oversized pair of sunglasses, listlessly tending to a pan. Ransom was sitting at the table, head in his hands; his shirt was on backwards. Holster, who had by far been the drunkest of the night, looked the most aware, running a big hand over Ransom’s back.

Dex really hoped that the conversation from last night had been forgotten in a daze of alcohol. He managed to get as far as pouring milk into his coffee when that hope was shattered

“Dex, we have a score to settle, my dude.”

“The fuck we do.” Dex slammed the fridge a little too hard, making Ransom hiss and Bitty flinch at the loud noise of rattling bottles inside.

Bitty waved his wooden spoon, pointing at Holster and Dex in turn. “If y’all are gonna be fightin’, you’d best get your butts out of my kitchen. It is too early and I am too hungover.”

Holster held up his hands in surrender. “Not fighting, just discussing. Important things. Very important discussions.”

The rest of the team chose that moment to walk down the stairs. Cait had pulled on Dex’s sweater, which fell well below the shorts she had been wearing to sleep. Chowder was following behind her, eyes closed, holding onto the hood of her borrowed sweatshirt so that he wouldn’t fall over. Nursey brought up the tail, shirtless and rubbing a hand over his stomach blearily.

He headed over to Dex and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Cait settled her boyfriend in an empty chair before heading to the coffee maker and making a mug that Dex knew was for Chowder, since she didn’t drink caffeine. She bumped Dex’s shoulder and gave him a small smile.

“What is a very important topic?”

Holster jumped at the opportunity. “Dex has never had sex.”

At the stove, Bitty shook his head and muttered, “Lord give me strength.”

From where he was huddled, Chowder muttered something that sounded like, “a deck has an ace.” The only one who seemed to understand him was Cait, who looked between her boyfriend, Dex, and Holster with a surprised look on her face.

“Oh. Well, okay then. That makes sense.” She handed the mug to Chowder and perched on his knee.

Holster opened his mouth again, but before he could say anything, Bitty dropped a plate piled high with his special hangover eggs in the center of the table. Ransom and Chowder both groaned at the noise.

Trying to head off any more discussion before it began, Dex told Holster, “Look, I’m asexual. I don’t feel sexual attraction, so I don’t want to have sex.”

“But, like, how do you know that if you’ve never had sex?” Dex could tell that Holster had good intentions, or at least not bad ones; he just didn’t know any better. Hell, he wasn’t even focused on Dex. Instead, he had an arm slung around Ransom’s shoulders, trying to push a spoonful of eggs at his boyfriend.

Nursey broke into the conversation. His tone sounded casual, bored even, but Dex knew differently; that was how Nursey sounded when he was pissed off. “Yo, Bitty. Have you ever had sex with a woman?”

Bitty didn’t bother answer, just gave Nursey a look over the top of his sunglasses that said it all. Nursey turned his attention forward. “C, you ever fool around with a dude?”

“Nope.” Chowder didn’t bother to look up from his coffee.

“Cool, cool. Holster, have you ever let Ransom sleep with anyone else while you’ve been together?”

Dex could see Holster’s arm tighten slightly around Ransom’s shoulders. “What’s your point, Nurse?”

“I just find it funny,  is all. You never questioned Bitty being gay, or Chowder being straight, or whether or not you’re actually polyamorous. You never tried to force anyone else into bed when they clearly don’t want to go. But Dex is somehow different, I guess. Weird.”

Without waiting for a response, Nursey stomped off. Dex followed after him. He heard the creak of the stairs, but when he got to Chowder’s room, he found it empty. It was a few seconds before he realized the window was cracked.

Dex absolutely hated the Reading Room, but he knew Nursey found it relaxing when he was in a particularly bad mood. He could make an exception for his upset boyfriend, so he climbed out, careful not to look down.

Nursey was sitting on the folding chair that had seen better days, rolling a cigarette between his hands. There was a tension in his shoulders that Dex hated to see. He sat down next to the chair, bracing himself on the roof with one hand and holding the other one out.

It was a long minute before Nursey sighed and handed Dex the cigarette. “I’m sorry, babe.”

“What for? You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

Dex wanted to march right back downstairs and punch Holster. He could say whatever he wanted about Dex, but upsetting Nursey was a step too far. Stress smoking was one thing. It didn’t take a lot to drive Nursey to pull out his emergency pack. But Dex had worked long and hard with Nursey about feeling guilty about things he had no control over. Nursey only did that when he was well and truly upset. Fucking Holster.

“I’m sorry that I spoke for you. And that you even had to deal with any of that shit to begin with The Haus should be a safe space for you,not a place where you have to explain yourself over your sexuality. It’s just bullshit, Dex.”

When they started dating, Dex and Nursey only had a short conversation about Dex’s sexuality. Well, it wasn’t a conversation so much as Dex told Nursey that he was ace, that they wouldn’t have sex, ever, and if that was a problem, they should stop before it even started. Dex was realizing that he owed Nursey the full conversation.

“Have I ever told you about Emily? Or Jake, or Tyson?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Dex flicked the unlit cigarette over the edge of the roof and turned his attention fully to his boyfriend. “Emily was my first girlfriend. She was my first crush, and my first kiss, and she wanted to be my first time. But I didn’t want to have sex. She… well, she didn’t take that well and among other things, she called me a fag. That got me thinking, maybe I was gay.

“So, Jake was my first boyfriend. Except, in the end, I didn’t want to have sex with him either. He knew I was asexual before I did. He was supportive and I just… I fucking loved him, Nursey, I swear. He went off to Stanford, but told me that Samwell was more accepting, and that I could find someone for me.

He cleared his throat. “Tyson was in my kinesiology class the first semester of freshman year. We flirted and went on dates, but I made the decision not to tell him about being ace. When it did finally come up, it was like a repeat of Emily all over again.

“I thought that Emily’s reaction was because we were from a small town, or because she was straight, or that she was the outlier. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that the shit Holster’s pulling? That’s the norm, and I’ve accepted it. He’s not trying to be malicious, he just doesn’t get it. Yeah, it pisses me off that he’s being ignorant, but at the end of the day, people who are supportive, like Jake, are who matter. You’re the only one who matters, Nursey.

Nursey finally looked at Dex. He didn’t say anything about Nursey’s misty eyes, just tilted his head up for a soft kiss.

Nursey clambered out of the folding chair so that he could cuddle closer to Dex. Head titled to sit on Dex’s shoulder, he asked, “So tell me about this first love… Jack? Jace? What was his name again?”

“Fucking jerk.” Dex couldn’t help but smile. “You would love him, too. He’s-”

[justwritingscibbles]

The Entity Rule

Chapter 10- also has previous chapter links

Chapter 11

……..In fact it was the last thing you heard as you fell - and you knew you fell but weirdly didn’t feel the impact. You remember the worst pain you’d ever experienced, it was excruciating, but it only lasted a second because you weren’t on earth anymore, instead you were in a vast, white space and even though you should have never heard another voice again, someone who was walking up to you, smiling, spoke to you in a healing tone… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Hello, y/n.” He said, his voice warm and inviting. “Hello?” You replied cautiously, sauntering closer to him. As you were able to make out the figures features you stopped dead in your tracks as you saw another being sharing the same face as Mark. However, you didn’t run as he got closer. He didn’t carry any sense of darkness with him unlike, well, dark. Instead this being radiated comfort, and not a false illusion of it, even though you were extremely confused your mind felt at ease and you even found yourself smiling in return at the first genuine smile you’d seen in a while, although when he stopped (close enough to offer physical comfort but still allowing personal space) you saw sadness tinting it. The ‘nice dark’ waited for you to speak patiently, hands folding together in front of him. “Erm…hi?” He nodded in reply towards you, still smiling “uh-not to sound rude-but how do you know my name? Also, while we’re here, what’s yours?” You needed something to refer to him as. “My name is Lightiplier” light said, offering a hand out to you “Would you like to take a walk with me y/n? I’ll happily answer your questions and I hope you’ll be able to answer some of my own.” You definitely wanted some questions answered but you had learnt the hard way that with supernatural creatures you still have to be a bit weary around them. “Okay, we can go on a walk, but…uh-where?” You asked, looking around at the completely empty white space. “Oh, anywhere my dear, but since your stay here may only be temporary your limits are…for lack of a better word, limited. It’s more the gesture of getting somewhere so you feel like you’re doing something.” You were still confused but lead the way anyway, light followed behind, his hand lingering at the small of your back but taking care not to touch you without your permission. “To answer your previous question we know a lot about everyone, and we’ve been keeping a special eye on you, for your own protection of course.” “We?” You asked, turning to face him with no fear, just curiosity. “Aha, yes 'we’. You’re very perceptive y/n.” He complimented, in this situation you’d normally blush, but strangely enough you felt no rush of blood to your cheeks… “we are, as you would probably call us, angels.” You couldn’t hide the shock on your face. Light laughed to ease the tension of your apologies for your reaction. “I’m sorry to suddenly drop this on you y/n, but there is an important matter that unfortunately we must address.” He said, giving you a pitying smile which made your concern about this 'matter’ grow. “Okay..? What is it Light?” He flashed a small smile at his new nickname but a serious face emerged as he spoke. “I’m very sorry y/n, but you’re dead.” You had expected as much but that didn’t stop a lump building up in your throat. Light extended his arms slowly so when you moved towards him he brought his arms under your own, holding you as his wings, bright and wonderous, circled around you. You wanted to stay, safe, under his protection, like that for longer, but you reluctantly retracted. “S-so is t-th-that the thing you needed to…to tell me?” You asked, not even bothering to hide your upset. He stayed solemn. “Yes, but I have something a lot less…traditional, to also tell you…” he said, stepping back to once again give you your personal space. You took a deep breath, coming to terms with all he was saying and looked up at him “Okay, I’m listening.” “You don’t have to stay dead.” You’d be lying if you said this proposal didn’t catch you off guard. “What?” You eventually managed to choke out. Light began to explain the offer he and all of the 'angels’ hoped you would take. “We’ve offered this to a few of the rare mortals who have had close affiliations with darker entities when they leave before their time is up, even though we don’t like bargaining with them we hope to keep some peace. We can normally predict the outcomes of a death close to them but someone like yourself coming back has never been so important before. With you dead, and the past added on, with Antisepticeye and Natemare” he tried to hide his disdain when speaking their names “great chaos will follow. A huge brawl that would rage for ages and will result in mass loss of life-” “Why?” You interjected, not meaning to be rude, “W-well because they’re both currently down there, broken up about your death, of course.” He seemed confused at your query but eager to help you understand at the same time. 'Oh god’ you thought 'I never even thought about poor mare, how broken up could he be? With your disappearance from his life, and so suddenly too.’ Then you applied Lights words to Anti. 'He obviously really did care about me, like he had shown, and now I’ve died with him thinking I hated him’, with Lights warning of history repeating itself, even greater than before, you had to wonder how much Anti did in fact like you… You and Light talked some more until he got straight down to the offer. You could either stay in peace and go further in the realm you currently resided, or you could be brought back to the mortal world. “We, of course, give you the option to say no to returning, because we don’t force peoples free will. We are moral entities, those darker entities are supposed to be dangerous, and personally” he leant to whisper to you “I don’t wish that upon you dear.” It didn’t take much brainstorming to come to your decision “I wish to be brought back and continue with my life, thank you.” You spoke into your hands, unsure how he would react. He sighed before you heard him say “Then, I will make sure you are protected.” Before you had time to look up and ask him what he meant he was gone.

Your eyelids felt heavy and you seemed to have forgotten how to get your brain to tell your body to move. You tried baby steps and even though it felt uncomfortable you forced yourself to open your eyes. The first thing you saw was the outline of someone, dressed in dark colours, and they were moving - pacing. Your eyes started to focus and you recognised the person. It was your boyfriend…your boyfriend… well you were sure the name would come to you, it had to if it was the man you loved. His hand was frantically running through his hair, but it didn’t look too bad, so why did he keep re-doing it? You couldn’t tell why there were dark streaks glistening on his cheeks, it didn’t seem like a thing that happened to most people…but why wouldn’t he look at you?! Didn’t he know you were there?! You thought you should try and concentrate on your other senses until he came to his own and touch was the second one that came to mind. You focused on your limbs, that refused to cooperate before, but instead of trying to make them move you tried to feel what they were feeling. As you honed in on your arms you realised there was a warmth on the bare skin that wasn’t on other parts of your body. Actually, it wasn’t just a warmth, something was gripping them, you then realised that your arms wouldn’t be moving even if your brain learnt to cooperate, something was holding them in place, someone else’s arms that knew what they were doing. Even your head couldn’t move because you recognised there was something pressing it against some sort of wall. Your eyes began to move freely and you looked to identify a hand holding your body, the same feeling was holding the back of your head so you knew there was another hand there, and the wall was a chest. But infuriatingly this person wouldn’t look at you either! He was staring at the moving man-Natemare. Yes you were sure that was it. And the one with green hair was probably Anti. You couldn’t think of anyone else you know with green hair. But you weren’t sure. Your body seemed to work when your brain wasn’t controlling it, because you could feel his scruff against your fingers and realised you had raised them to trail against the face of the person that held you. Their eyes, your original target, were red and swollen and you knew that wasn’t supposed to be what people looked like, so, intrigued and concerned, you decided to investigate the strange marks. Sound had decided to start working again but you didn’t realise this because as soon as you moved and touched Anti, there was only silence throughout the room. Mare and Anti looked dazed themselves. That long silence was broken when you felt something push behind Anti and move in front of the two of you, but you didn’t see it as you had turned to look at the pretty man with the strange lines on his face. Mare’s tear streaked face had turned to take on a look of aggressive shock and he backed up and shouted. “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” …*bork*

*side note: and that’s it for a while! Sorry for the wait btw but thank you for your support on this series so far. It really means a lot. But this series will continue on my own new account @some-dark-sides-writing which I have made which will be focused on YouTuber dark sides (mainly)fics, asks, headcannons, theories, reblogs etc because my main blog wasn’t fit for fanfics, and I’m taking up too much of poor Scribs’ time who’s been a blessing to let me post this story so far on their own amazing account, so thank you Scribs. I also have many different fanfics with different YouTuber dark sides in the making right now which should be uploaded on there soon, and a short story of Chase and his kids posted immediately after this, because why not. So thank you again for your support on this series and I hope to see some of you lovely people over there! Hopefully I will resolve the rest of this story soon.*

(Scribbles Talks:  Everyone please go and support this awesome person! They write incredibly well and I personally enjoy this series. They’ve helped me out with their support too, so I would love it if everyone shared their support for them as well.)

[atrocitycl]

Drama Review - “Fight My Way”

(Official Trailer 2)

Lee Najeong (Director) – Fight My Way

Reviewed on September 3, 2017

I highly recommend this drama. While it is not perfect at all and does contain—in my argument—certain, significant flaws, I find that this drama is still one of the best I have ever seen. Furthermore, as I will focus on in this review, this drama’s main strength lies in how it is incredibly versatile and this reason is, perhaps, why the drama was incredibly popular—both in South Korea and even elsewhere. After all, Fight My Way arguably flourishes in the two main aspects of dramas: it appeals to a wide audience; and, it contains solid theatrical features in order to maintain said wide audience.

Personal Message: Edit: As one can tell, I intended to post this review far sooner. I am incredibly busy with university, so I hope for readers to be understanding with the lack of content lately. It has been two weeks since the prior post, but I will sincerely attempt to still be active with this blog despite how hectic my university schedule is. In fact, just finishing this review was incredibly fun and rewarding and it is moments such as these that I regret not writing every day.

Apologies for the lack of content. University has indeed started as of this sentence and thus, I will be busy with upcoming classes. I expect this semester to be by far the busiest, but I will do my best to post around six or so reviews per month. I also will still try to catch up on other reviews from the summer that I have not reviewed: GFRIEND’s “Love Whisper” and Blackpink’s “As If It’s Your Last.” But, considering there are recent comebacks that might be more relevant to review such as PRISTIN’s “We Like,” those mentioned reviews might have to unfortunately be skipped.

Regarding this review, this will be a “bonus” review: a review that still attempts to bring critical, thoughtful discussion but one that will ultimately be hindered by lack of experience. Therefore, readers should feel free to openly challenge this review’s take to the drama or at least interpret the review lightly. After all, while I do enjoy watching dramas from time to time, I am exceptionally inexperienced with the theatrical aspects that are involved. Lastly, for the remaining clarification needed, while it should be noted that there are many to praise and credit for the production of a drama, in this review I will explicitly credit and oftentimes refer to Lee Najeong—the director of Fight My Way. I have decided on doing this as, if I am correct, the directors are the ones in charge of directly guiding how each scene appears in the drama—this being akin to, say, an author of a novel. As a result, she will be who I explicitly credit but of course, in the overall scheme of creating a drama, I hope to remind readers that all staff members deserve credit.

With all of that, let us head into the review for Fight My Way.

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Recommendation: I highly recommend this drama. While it is not perfect at all and does contain—in my argument—certain, significant flaws, I find that this drama is still one of the best I have ever seen. Furthermore, as I will focus on in this review, this drama’s main strength lies in how it is incredibly versatile and this reason is, perhaps, why the drama was incredibly popular—both in South Korea and even elsewhere. After all, Fight My Way arguably flourishes in the two main aspects of dramas: it appeals to a wide audience; and, it contains solid theatrical features in order to maintain said wide audience.

Plot Summary: Summarizing this drama is a bit difficult. Overall, Fight My Way focuses on four main characters: Aera, Dongman, Seolhee, and Jooman. Rather than a singular event being the driving force of the plot, this drama differs in that it is solely minor events that move the plot. For example, the drama might focus on how Aera and Dongman are developing romantic feelings towards each other and the comedy that such brings, or it might opt for a more serious route with showcasing how the two—and even Seolhee and Jooman—constantly face failures with their careers. Ultimately, what can be most appreciated is how relatively tame the plot is and yet how deep and impacting it can be upon viewers; it truly is a drama that addresses “life” in of itself—though in a comedic, romantic, and serious manner.

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Analysis: One distinct aspect to the drama, and perhaps its strongest point, is how it manages to capture a wide audience. This is a surprising point given the typical trends of dramas: targeting a specific audience and then complying with that very audience’s desires. However, with Fight My Way, despite the drama being explicitly labeled as a romantic-comedy, Lee Najeong’s directing is not limited to fulfilling the ideas such a genre encompasses. Without spoiling too much about the drama—hopefully, that is—let us home in on a scene that perhaps best illuminates Lee Najeong’s and the drama’s versatility with genres. (I will be vague so as to not spoil moments.)

During one specific scene and episode, we find that Aera fails to acquire a certain job role due to unjust decisions. In her defeated state, she ends up running into Dongman. Fast forwarding, we find the two sitting together on a bench as Aera eventually reveals that she did not in fact get the job. After Dongman’s insightful, lingering quote of how, in summary, pretending to be fine and refusing to cry are not “cool acts,” Aera finally sheds tears—though, comically, she mentions that if anyone sees her cry, Dongman will become her murdered victim. And, for the remaining details, as avid drama watchers might predict, Dongman indeed shields Aera with his jacket before finally pulling her head into his chest for her to cry into.

Now, for what makes this scene so momentous, it is due to how well the director balances various tones and even genres if we dare go that far. Simplistically, the director could have opted to focus on one specific tone and flesh it out—a simple example being heavily emphasizing the romantic aspects to this scene. But, instead, Lee Najeong includes the three main points to the drama: seriousness, comedy, and romance. With the serious take to this scene, for example, Aera’s depicted situation is far from merely being “only in dramas”; her being rejected of that dream job had a lot of social commentary if we dare analyze Fight My Way in this lens. For what occurred, Aera lacked—or more accurately, lacks—“social capital”; she is not young nor deemed pretty, she lacks formal education via college degrees, and she lacks “experience.” The most upsetting aspect, though, is that she is skilled and has the passion and work ethics. Sadly, none of those traits matter when her overall social capital does not suffice—“capital” that is hard for a lower-classed individual to have due to their circumstances.

And so for what this reveals, Fight My Way despite being a romantic-comedy does at times become incredibly solemn—a feature that not only helps balance out the drama, but is one that attracts viewers who otherwise would be repelled away by excessive romance and comedy. Likewise, though, the director still accommodates for those who are watching primarily for the romance and comedy—such as, admittedly, in my case. Quite clearly, those aspects are also fulfilled within this very episode and scene given Aera’s remark of threatening Dongman’s life to maintain her tough persona and how Dongman does very sweetly hold her close and comforts her. All in all, this versatility is arguably why the drama does well in terms of having a very broad yet loyal audience: it simply captures the spectrum of viewers who care more for serious aspects such as social commentary (be it gender or class as the drama tended to focus on), but also for viewers who merely want to gush over the romance.

Moving on to focusing on the drama in a theatrical sense, we will transition to this point as while we understand why the audience is broad, we now need to understand why that very audience remains loyal to watching the drama. The answer, then, is we need to focus on how the drama plays out in a technical, theatrical sense.

For what initially caught my attention and perhaps many other viewers, Fight My Way’s aesthetic appeal—this ranges from the overall setting to as specific as what the actresses and actors wear—entirely goes against the average drama: it is humble. In fact, even Park Seojoon, the actor who portrays Dongman, addresses this point and embraces it as he finds that this allows the drama to focus less on sheer visual appeal and more on the actual acting that occurs. But even without the added bonus of the acting having a greater presence, there is another benefit to the drama’s lack of exquisite fashion or a setting that is luxurious: the drama unveils the beauty of “normal”—that there is, indeed, beauty to sceneries that would seldom exist in dramas. From simple t-shirts and sweatpants to smaller apartments to a roughly established rooftop hangout spot, Fight My Way boldly challenges the way many other dramas utilize their settings. In many cases, gorgeous settings are used to help viewers escape reality but with this drama, Lee Najeong seems to want viewers to see reality—to see that their own lives, to certain degrees, are reflected in the drama.

For another theatrical aspect that I do wish to cover, as with any drama, we definitely need to spend time covering the acting—the skill that brings dramas to life akin to vocalists bringing a song to life. Regarding the acting, as stale as the following will sound, I find that the actresses and actors have all done an excellent job. There were minimal—if at all any—moments where I found the acting to be far too exaggerated or simply unfitting. To perhaps best explain why the acting is quite impressive, I think we ought to look not at emotional scenes—scenes that typically are used to gauge acting—but rather we need to look at comical scenes. After all, emotional scenes are easily manipulated beyond just acting: music; mere empathy; tears on everyone; and so forth. In other words, I find that it requires much more acting to make someone laugh versus to make them cry and hence why I believe that focusing on comical scenes is important if we are to gauge the acting.

Once again to prevent spoilers, I will be extremely vague but I do wish to refer to a certain scene. There is a time where Dongman finds that Aera is dating someone, and in short, much laughter is to come. Most impressively, though, is that the humor has less to do with witty scriptwriting and more with Park Seojoon’s performance (and, of course, Lee Najeong’s directing). Through purely facial expressions for example, viewers are able to gather many details: that Dongman’s world has shattered. It is through his horrified look that viewers not only get basic comedy out of such, but it is also when viewers could start piecing together that, perhaps, Dongman does have a crush on Aera and thus we are able to laugh at Dongman’s regrets and poor decisions of being mean to Aera. Similar types of acting-based comedic scenes also occur—a notable one being when Dongman begins to finally notice how Aera is attractive to him and seems to be struggling for breath as he wonders why her legs are now pretty despite, quite obviously, Aera’s leg never physically changed at all. (And, this is even more comedic when we factor in how, in many prior episodes, Dongman was extremely repulsed at having to touch Aera’s hair.)

(That said, for a serious moment and digression, readers who know what scene I am referring to might have found it disturbing—and that is not due to sexual undertones as that was not there. Rather, I refer to Dongman controlling Aera’s fashion. In terms of what viewers need to understand, this is where viewers need to be aware of cultural context—that, indeed, Dongman’s act was less of being oppressive and more of protecting, though that can and should be openly challenged or even defended depending on one’s argument. Nevertheless, it is worth bearing in mind why such a very stereotypical drama romance scene was used there, and of course that it added the comedic element of, as explained, Dongman acting as if Aera’s leg had suddenly changed.

Ultimately, how viewers interpret that scene is up to individual ideas: one can find it disturbing and offensive and rightfully so, but equally one has to bear in mind different cultural takes and how the “fashion control” that occurs is, in the appropriate cultural context, less about a man controlling a woman and more as merely “protecting” an individual. And, overall, I hope this single scene does not entirely detract from the drama’s otherwise very positive messages about gender equality and feminism—after all, both Aera’s and Seolhee’s depicted characters offer the most balanced perspective one could ask for and I admire the drama for offering what I argue is true feminism: that a woman should behave how she wants. Aera’s character presents the typical “strong woman” that many appreciate and love when it comes instantly thinking of feminism, but Seolhee’s character also presents the side that is oftentimes forgotten: that there is nothing wrong with desiring to be a stay-at-home-Mom and that her main dream in life is “to be a mother”—though I have now arguably just spoiled a very powerful line from her as viewers who watch the drama will see. Without this tangent getting any further, I simply wish to end it with the drama’s message about feminism: that it is not just only about a “strong woman” like Aera; feminism also means giving a voice to women who do not want to be like Aera but instead are more like Seolhee. And, before men are dismissed, much is also to be appreciated for the drama showcasing that a man crying, being emotional, and showing moments of weakness is, as Dongman would say, in fact “cool.”)

On topic, now that we have covered many reasons for why the drama is a stronger one, I unfortunately cannot end the review here. I recommend Fight My Way and will claim it is by far one of the best dramas I have seen, but it would be erroneous to claim it was objectively the best. It does have, as any drama does, many flaws—some of which, I will argue, are too significant to ignore.

One prominent problem that the drama struggles to handle is that towards the last four or so episodes, the drama’s tone and genre versatility disappear. Suddenly, Lee Najeong’s impressive directing where there is a balance of seriousness, romance, and comedy becomes predominantly just serious. Much of the comedic aspects are lost, and given how central humor is in the drama, having it entirely put aside—while understandable as the drama is attempting to conclude neatly—leaves a noticeable void. Likewise, many of the romantic scenes are lost—though if heartbreak counts, then perhaps “romance” in a distorted sense does still remain. (And readers should watch the drama to understand this supposed “heartbreak” that occurs towards the last episodes. Before readers claim I spoiled the ending, I will say that is far more complicated.)

Even so, while one could indeed dismiss the prior point, I find that what ultimately prevents me from claiming that Fight My Way is the best drama is due to poor character developments that occur for non-lead characters. Many supporting characters are simply far too one-dimensional, and this does hinder the plot and complexity of the drama. One key example is Hyeran, Dongman’s ex-girlfriend. Her character exists to cause tensions between Aera and Dongman but, the infuriating part is Hyeran lacks reasoning for her heinous acts. The drama, in essence, simply did not develop her character enough for there to be understandable reasons—or at least, I personally do not count “Hyeran became divorced and now wants to go back to her first option: Dongman” as a thoroughly developed character. It would have been far more interesting as a character and plot if, for example, Hyeran was actually a typical, well-behaved human and that she had a deeper past with Dongman. Instead of relentlessly and disturbingly chasing Dongman after being divorced, what if the two were previously in a very respectful and close relationship and ended on good terms and that she now wonders if they could get back together? This route not only prevents Hyeran from being a superficial character, but it also suits with the drama’s realistic style and causes conflicts not due to, essentially, being stalked but because Dongman has feelings he needs to address if he is to understand how he truly feels about Aera. Other characters such as Moobin are also one-dimensional and positioned as antagonists merely for the sake of having antagonists. Rather than relying on generic, binary characters of “good versus evil,” the drama would have been more appealing by having actions that are centered as moral dilemmas rather than the characters themselves. A good example of what I mean is if we look at one of our leads, Jooman: a man whose heart is, without doubt, full of love and helping others. The “evil” that exists, then, is whether too much kindness can ironically become bad.

In Jooman’s case, I argue he was an example of excellent character development and of straying away from the generic, “good versus evil” archetype. For his situation, his kindness with a new co-worker, Yejin, has led to some misunderstanding with Seolhee, his partner—more so as Yejin begins developing feelings for Jooman and is unaware of his relationship with Seolhee (or at least initially). Certainly Jooman never did anything inappropriate with Yejin at all, but as Aera presented, the problem was not focused on that: “It doesn’t matter if you didn’t sleep (have sex) with her or not.” The problem was Jooman constantly lied to Seolhee when helping Yejin as he did not wish to cause mistrust or create suspicion of an affair that did not exist. Now of course, Jooman’s true mistake was simply the lack of open communications and being truthful, but if it took a lie of how he was meeting his friends in order to get an incredibly intoxicated Yejin home safely, Jooman valued doing “what was right” even if it meant having to lie to Seolhee. The main takeaway, overall, is that Jooman’s character presents a situation where he is innately a good person and yet it is his actions that prove complex. He never intended to betray Seolhee’s trust but, in difficult circumstances of wondering what is ethically right—of caring for the safety of a co-worker at the cost of having to lie—we find a character who does away with the typical “good versus evil” setup that Moobin and Hyeran and other character rely on. This level of depth in characters—even for the supporting ones—would have made the drama far more insightful and pleasing. As it stands, many non-lead characters are simply far too one-dimensional and lack convincing, realistic reasons for what we would perceive as inappropriate and cruel behavior.

In the end, I still find Fight My Way to be an incredible drama and the best I have seen. I recommend it to both those familiar with Korean dramas or for those who might be watching one for the first time. Assuming one can overlook poor character development in supporting characters and how the drama becomes excessively serious towards the final episodes, Fight My Way is easily one of the better dramas produced. For me, I personally came for the romance—and rightfully, bawled so much at the most climactic kiss scene I have yet to witness—but ended up very much embracing its serious aspects and social commentary about class and gender and even other aspects such as family. Dongman’s relationship with his father, for example, mirrored my own life: while my father and I are at times somewhat distant, we still do express our love. A particular scene that I heavily related to was despite Dongman and his father having a hefty argument, in the end both left each other gifts and realized they both are the same—and comically, Dongman’s father questioned where Dongman gets his behavior. And of course, there is always the romantic aspect to delight in—though for me, love is still distant. That said, I also feel similar to Dongman with developing a crush for someone but this is definitely far too embarrassing to elaborate on. All in all, as Fight My Way has proven, it truly is a drama about “life” and thus, many readers would most likely find it a worthy drama to watch.

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Apologies for the lack of content for the past two weeks. University is incredibly busy, and with other technical tasks I need to handle—scholarships, working as a writing tutor soon, and so on—it has become hard to find time to write reviews. Given that this review is, despite being a “bonus,” is exceptionally lengthy, the next post will come in a week or so. Song reviews will come as usual, but I ask for readers’ understanding and patience—and likewise, for those waiting for Fiestar subtitled videos.

Until then, look forward to usual song reviews and as always, thank you so much for reading or skimming this review.

[sunnysheadraws]

[TotA Role Swap AU]

Alrightyo here’s that fic thing where Osborne reveals their identity to Luke in the role swap AU i mentioned a while ago. KEEP In mind this isn’t like my full on writing power i just wrote this in the middle of the night a few days back so pbtht it hasn’t been edited much.

“Trust” (TotA Role Swap AU) [It’s super Gen?? no real warnings needed. Nephry, Luke, and Asch all appear. if there are any mistakes, let me know! have fun, kiddos. i tried.]

Colonel Luke fon Fabre was staring into the Keterburg night sky from the balcony when a young masked mercenary, Osborne, entered the hotel room. 

Colonel Luke fon Fabre was staring into the Keterburg night sky from the balcony when a young masked mercenary, Osborne, entered the hotel room. Everyone else was either in bed or out at the casino, and that left Luke, fortunately for Osborne, alone in his room for the while. They had considered knocking, but decided against it. They did, however, knock on the door to the balcony.

“Yes?” Luke asked as he turned around. His hair was down, Osborne noted, and he was out of uniform. The professor’s hair was never this casual in appearance when around the others. His eyes widened a little, mouth agape, when he noticed who it was knocking, but his face quickly relaxed into his normal smiling expression. It was one not only Osborne but also the rest of their party knew well. Luke opened the door and gestured for Osborne to join him.

Osborne did just that. “I apologize for disturbing you, Colonel.” Luke shook his head with that same gentle smile and went back to his place before the balcony’s railing. Osborne took their place beside him. They did not look at each other.

“You didn’t, really,” he chuckled softly. “And please, I’ve told you to call me Luke dozens of times. You sound like Jade. All you have to do is replace ‘colonel’ with ‘professor’!” He laughed again. Osborne finally stole a glance at the other, catching sight of the golden ring hanging by a chain around his neck.

Osborne sighed. “As much as I dislike admitting it, you’re right.”

“Speaking of sounding like Jade, that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Luke finally looked at them. Osborne froze.

“Yes,” they admitted. “You know, then.”

“I’ve known for a while. I may seem like an airhead, but trust me, I’m more observant than most of you realize.” Luke pointed to their mask, black with a white sigil and covering everything but the underside of their nose down. Osborne hesitantly moved a hand towards it, but Luke quickly grabbed their wrist. His look grew concerned. “You don't have to."

Osborne bit their lip, slipped their hand out of Luke's grip and reached it up to touch the mask lightly with the tips of their fingers. Luke watched carefully, not saying a word. They moved their other hand to behind either ear, one at a time, a click with each. The mask fell into the hand touching it before. Osborne kept their eyes closed, not meeting Luke’s own, until a moment later. Deep brown eyes stared into his, their face set with a firm gaze. Luke released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I just told you that you didn’t have to, you know,” he says.

Osborne smiled and rolled their eyes. They reached into their coat pocket and pulled out a pair of glasses. The glasses were gold, much like their hair, and they suited their face rather well, Luke thought. “I did it of my own free will. I was determined to do it tonight, anyway. It gets stuffy under there.”

Luke snorted at that. “This makes a lot of sense, now. You being the original, and all,” he adds. “You’re the original Jade.”

Osborn frowned. “Please don’t call me that. That name is dead to me for more than the obvious reason.”

It took Luke a real moment of examining their face before gasping quietly. “I see.” He nudges them lightly with an elbow. “My bad. I’m sorry.”

Osborne shook their head. “Don’t be. You weren’t aware. I made sure none of you were aware on purpose, but to confirm it, yes, I am a woman. Don’t let that change anything.”

“It won’t, I promise,” he replied. She smiled. “Then, if it’s alright to ask, what’s your name?”

“Nephry,” she said. “My name is Nephry.”

Luke hummed and stuck out his left hand. “Nice to meet you, Nephry. The name’s Luke.”

Nephry chuckled and shook his hand with her own. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”

The two retracted their hands and went back to gazing out at the snow-covered city. The sky was dark and dotted with stars, but the lights of the city drowned out most of them. It was quiet save for the bustling below. Drunkards stumbling home from the casino roamed the streets, and the two could even spot a few of their companions hanging around the town square. To them both, the sight of it was was beautiful.

“Are you going to tell them?” Luke asked, eyes set still on the sight.

“You aren’t?” She turned to look at him, puzzled. Luke didn’t move.

“This kinda thing isn’t my secret to tell. All of that is up to you. That is, unless, me saying something will make all of this easier for you, but I can say for certain that it won’t.”

“Why is that, sir?” She continued to stare intently at him. Luke finally turned to face her, and his expression, smile replaced with a soft frown and furrowed brows.

“Friends don’t like to hear secrets like this come from anyone but the person whose secret it is unless it’s honestly an emergency. If it came outta my mouth instead of yours, I’m sure almost everyone would be upset.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, grip not too tight but still firm. “There’s absolutely no pressure from me to tell them right away. Again, it’s your secret to keep. You do it when you’re ready, but don’t wait so long that it comes out of someone else’s mouth. That’s a spell for disaster via miscommunication.”

“What if, even if I do tell them, they're still upset with me?” She turned her gaze away, downcast. Luke’s grip tightened ever so slightly, and her attention snapped back.

“That’s the thing about friends, Nephry. Friends don't get upset with you over something like this. Yeah, there’ll probably be some… working things out to do, but we’ve all come to trust you. Other than Jade, I don’t think you need to worry so much.” He sighed. “That’s something I’ve learned from all of you.”

At this, Nephry smiled again, a little more bittersweet, but it was a smile, and Luke counted that as a victory. He let go of her shoulder and folded his arms on the rail of the balcony.

“I don’t think I’ll tell them just yet, but I will soon,” she said. “I have some things I need to take care of involving the God-Generals, first.”

Luke snaps his finger. “That’s where I’ve heard your name before! Nephry the Solemn. That also explains a lot, especially how you know so much about the other God-Generals.” He nodded to himself. “That explains why you use an alias, too.”

Nephry nodded and spoke stiffly, startled by his actions. “...Yes, sir. That’s correct.”

“It’s safe for me to assume that you’re no longer working for them, then?”

“Yes.”

“Good!” Luke grinned.

“Don’t you think it’s a bad idea to be so trusting of me, sir-”

Just as Luke opened his mouth to reply, a loud, familiar voice shouted from below. Luke leaned forward and huffed with disdain. From their view of the entrance of the hotel, they could see Asch groaning as he and Peony carried what they assumed to be a drunken Dist back into the hotel. The others, having regrouped, snickered and mingled as they followed suit.

Two clicks sounded, and by the time Luke looked back, Osborne’s mask was back into place. Luke smiled sadly. He watched as they approached the balcony door. Before they left, however, they turned back to him with that usual poker-face.

“My apologies, but I must return to my room.” Osborne moved closer to the opening in the doorway.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s probably good that you do. I don’t want you to face Asch’s wrath,” he laughed. “Nephry, this talk is between you and me. I won’t mention a word of this to anyone. Not until you’re ready.”

Osborne smiled and slid through the doorway. Luke followed suit, not passing through just yet, however. He continued to watch as Osborne approached the main door. Before they opened it, however, the door swung open roughly with a more-than-just irritated Asch on the other side. He was in the middle of yelling something when he caught sight of Osborne, and after it registered, his words slowed to a stop. He glanced from Luke to the mercenary, back and forth a few times, until his sight settled on Osborne.

Osborne quickly bid them both goodnight and rushed out of the room. Asch continued to watch until they were safely inside their own room just down the hall. Then, he looked back to his brother.

“What the hell was that about?” he inquired, tone softer now. Asch shut the door behind him and approached Luke, who finally shut the door to the balcony behind him. Luke, with an exasperated sigh flopped face-first onto one of the two queen-sized beds. Asch sat down beside him.

“It’s complicated, and I can’t tell you about it,” he admitted. “I really, really want to, but I can’t. Thems the rules of keeping trust.”

Asch kicked one of Luke’s legs. “You still hold onto that lesson, huh?”

“Yeah,” said Luke. “‘It’s hard to regain trust once you’ve lost it,’ she said. Man, was she right. Then again, she was right about a lotta things. Gotta make sure I don’t mess it up again.”

“None of us talked to you for a month,” Asch responded.

“It holds the record of one of the worst months of my life.”

“Good. That was the point, moron.” Luke rolled over and looked to his brother with a smile. Asch responded with a frown. “What the hell’s that look for?”

“I’m just happy, is all.”

Asch kicked his leg again, harder. “Gross. Old men shouldn’t be so sentimental.”

“Old, you say!” Luke quickly grabbed a pillow from the head of the bead and whacked Asch with as much strength as he had (it wasn’t much considering their exhaustion from today’s travel). Asch tried to block it but fell off the bed with a loud thud as a result. As Asch groaned, Luke laughed. “We’re the same age, first of all. Second, it isn’t gross. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating what you have!” Luke threw the pillow, and it landed on Asch’s face.

Asch, muffled, groaned again. “Yeah, yeah.” He moved the pillow to glare at his brother. “Go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”

The words were wasted, Asch realized, when Luke’s soft snore resounded in the hotel room. Asch sighed and tucked him into bed. As he was leaving the room, afterwards, to check on the others still in the lobby, he gave one last glance to Luke before shutting the door.

Down the hall, he almost knocked on their other hotel room to ask after Osborne. Achingly familiar voices, that of his brother’s and another’s, played in his mind.

“It’s hard to regain trust once you’ve lost it,” they said.

Asch continued down the hall and entered the elevator.

[potter---imagines-blog]

Why Not Me? Part 2

Part one of Why Not Me

A/n: Ok so I seriously thought I was gonna have this up like two weeks ago but I got bombarded with school work and then I was really sick and had to go to the hospital. When I finally had time to sit down and try to finish this I had to go to the hospital again because my body hates me, but at least it’s up now! Sorry for the long wait.

Warnings: Swearing, awful writing.

Words:2695

Waking up the next morning was extremely challenging. You probably laid there for 30 minutes before even opening your eyes. The throbbing in your head was excruciatingly painful and your eyes were much too sensitive to light for the curtains in your room to be open. Your roommates were no better off, Abbey was in the bathroom puking her guts out, Victoria was still out cold, and Cara was extremely agitated due to her lack of sleep. You sat up in your bed still wearing your outfit from last night, only you were missing your sweater. “Did I seriously sleep in my shoes?” I asked Cara. “Well you were already asleep when James carried you in here last night,” she grumbled as she went to the bathroom to brush the taste of stale alcohol out of her mouth. You leaned over to grab a more comfortable attire for today, from the dresser next to your bed.

Wait why did James take me back last night? Did I even talk to him last night? The last thing I remember is–oh shit! Oh no.

It all came rushing back to you as you mentally retraced your steps last night. You really wished you had just gone back to bed instead of questioning last nights occurrences.

I’m never leaving my bed, I’m going to die in this spot. I mean I’m dying of mortification what’s the difference? Even if I did somehow manage to get over my mortification James probably hates me now, no doubt he told Lily so she definitely hates me now. The whole school is gonna know by the end of the day, and that’s if the gossip is slowed by the hangovers. So that’s it, I’ve made my final decision, I am condemned to an eternity in my bed.

Just then your door burst open to reveal a walking zombie Sirius Black in all his hungover glory. He didn’t even need to open his eyes to make it to your bed, flopping down on top of you. “You broke James,” he muttered into your pillow. “I what?” you asked thinking you heard incorrectly. “I said,” lifting his head from the pillow “you broke James.” “I did no such thing, if anything he broke me” you defend yourself. “Well you don’t look very broken, I mean you look like a hot mess right now, but not broken. James on the other hand has been going on like a broken record about you and not knowing what to do. Basically spewing gibberish, and Remus said you were the last person to be seen with him.” He explained. “Well yes I might have yelled at him in the hallway last night, but he deserved it and I’m not going to apologize or talk to him” I stated making my intentions clear. “Well that’s too bad because he needs to be fixed and when Peter went and got Lily it just made it worse” “Well I don’t see how any of this is my problem” “You broke him and he’s your bestfriend so yes it is your problem” He said trying to pull you out of bed “Now come fix it” “No!” “I will make you” he threatened. You abandoned your plan to stay in bed forever and made the horrible decision to try and make a run for it. You jumped up shocking Sirius backwards and ran out of your room.

Sirius was in worse condition then you, so it was easy to out run him. He was right about one thing this morning you looked like a hot mess, but as you entered the great hall and realized that less than half of the students were there it didn’t seem so bad. You see it wasn’t just Gryffindors at the party last night it was open to all houses, and only the younger students and a handful of others were not in attendance.  You were surprised to see Remus sitting alone in his usual seat as you sat down across from him. “I saved you a muffin” ha said slidding you a muffin across the table. “Thanks,” you grumbled stealing his coffee. “I’d complain but it looks like you need it a lot more then I do,” he joked lightly but shut up when you gave him a death glare. “I’m guessing Sirius told you about James?” he asked. “yep” it was a simple answer. “and yet you’re here instead in our dorm trying to fix him, so I’m guessing last night didn’t end well?” he asked. “You guessed right” you said finishing your muffin and laying your head on the cool surface of the table, trying to ease the throbbing of your head. “Wanna talk about it?” “No” you responded. “Are you sure?” “Remus I swear to Merlin if you don’t shut up” you warned. The conversation ended there, and soon after you headed back up to your dorm under the assumption that Sirius would’ve gone back to his dorm to look after Potter.

You assumed wrong because when you made it back to your dorm not only was Sirius standing in your room looking through your things, James Potter was lying face down on your bed looking like a lifeless corps. “There you are, figured you’d come back here eventually.” Sirius smirked. James’ head popped up from your pillow and he looked at you with wide eyes not knowing what to say to you. You looked away from the boy with the messy curls as your eyes turned to slits as they narrowed in Sirius’ direction “Get out of my room and take him with you.” you ordered. “Well I’ll be leaving, but I won’t be bringing him with me” Sirius said slipping behind you and closing the door. You whipped around and tried to rip the door open so you could yell at Sirius but it wouldn’t budge. Panic washed over you as you frantically shock the door nob. “SIRIUS ORION BLACK YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!“ you bellowed. “No not until you’ve fixed him, I’ll be back later to see if you’ve made any progress” as he finished his sentence you could hear his footstep drifting away from your room until you couldn’t hear them anymore.

You slid down the door resting your forehead against it closing you eyes and taking a deep breath trying to keep it together. Today was not your day. There was thick silence in your room, and you could feel his eyes boring into your rigid back. “I didn’t know” the words  were soft yet they so easily broke the thick silence, “Of course you didn’t” it was a simple reply  but it held so much hurt. “I-I don’t know what to do. I mean I’m not the man with a plan and I normally wing stuff but I have no idea how I can make this better.” he tried explaining. “Of course you don’t” you were now chocking back tears, this was too much, too soon. “I hate seeing you sad and I spent all night trying to figure out how to fix this.” you could hear him getting off your bed and approaching you. “Please don’t.” a sob escaped as tears glided down your cheeks. “I can’t do this right now, I can’t talk about it.” your voice wavering heavily. “Y/n, I never meant to hurt you.” he said in a whisper sitting down a couple feet behind you not wanting to get too close. “Well it’s a bit too late for that.”

You two sat like that, now a more solemn silence drifting between the two of you. Every time James tried to get closer you’d push him away. You just needed time to heal. “So how are the two of you doing in there?” “Sirius let us out.” James said standing up behind you. “Ah, I knew you two would work it out. No need to thank m-” Sirius cut himself off after you rushed out of the now unlocked door, and pushed past him. Clearly more upset then before. He looked over to James to see regret written all over his best mates face.

It had been over a week of avoiding James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and anyone who had any connections to them. You came to class just as the bell rang and picked the seats the farthest away from them, you kept to yourself. Spent all your spare time in empty hallways studying or simply just hiding from your many worried friends. The worst part was that you started skipping meals just so you wouldn’t run into any of them. Your roommates were really worried,  some days all you’d eat was a roll they’d bring you back from dinner.

You didn’t notice but this whole thing was taking a strain on James, Lily noticed and she was smart enough to put the pieces together. Of course she liked James but if she was main thing stopping her two friends from being happy then she was willing to step away from her little love affair with James. This only confused and distressed James more, two of the closest people in his life have just completely withdrawn.

Sirius was working harder then ever trying to put all the broken pieces of his friend group back together. You were making his job pretty hard, hiding like a mouse and running off whenever he got close to finding you. He saw it as an extreme game of hide n’ seek. Sirius understood that you needed time but he was also an impatient teenage boy who saw his entire group of friends falling away and that was incredibly concerning to him. His friends where all he had, they were his family and he’d be damned if he let them slip away without a fight.

 It had been two and a half weeks since the party, and Sirius was trying to bring in reinforcements. “Vicky come on you gotta help me.” he pleaded “First of all don’t call me Vicky, second no I will not help.” victoria stated with a tone of disinters in her voice, a tone she saved specifically for Sirius Black. “ I know you  don’t like me but are you really so petty that you’d watch my friend group break apart because of something that happened years ago?” “Yes I really am that petty, now do you mind leaving I’m trying to finish this essay.” Victoria said trying to end their conversation. “ Ok look get over yourself this isn’t about you or me, this is about James and Y/n. You know she’s destroying herself over this, so just help me fix this and I’ll never speak to you again.” Sirius was serious (hahahahaha I’m not funny) “Fine what do you have in mind?” she said.

 The next day after you successfully avoided social interaction during your classes you were heading for a dead-end hallway you’d found a couple days ago after Sirius almost found your previous hiding place. You sat down and spread all your books out starting the loads of homework you had. That was until you heard the unmistakable voices of Sirius Black and your best friend Victoria. “Are you sure she’s down here?” “You’re the one who asked me for help and now you don’t even trust that I have the right place!” that was definitely the exasperated voice of your roommate. You scurried gabbing your books and trying to escape the hiding spot, but you were trapped when Victoria and Sirius turned the corner and blocked your exit. “Told you I knew where she was” Victoria stated smugly towards Sirius.

 “Y/n you’re coming with me” Sirius said. “Why, so you can lock me in a room again? No thank you.” you said slipping past him. The dark bags under your eyes even more concerning from up close. “Too bad.” was all you heard before being launched over his shoulder, dropping most of your books. “I’ll bring these back to our room.” Victoria said picking up your fallen books and heading of in the opposite direction.

Nope this is not happening. It’s a dream. I’m gonna wake up in a minute an there’ll be no need for confrontation. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

“Y/n?” nope this wasn’t a dream, much to your dismay as Sirius carried you into their dorm room. The way it was set up looked similar to that of an intervention, they placed chairs all in a circle in the middle of the room and every chair was occupied except for two. One of which you were placed in, your head spinning due to all the blood rushing out. “What is this?” you said already building your walls up not wanting to make more of a fool of yourself then you already have in the past couple of weeks. You looked around at the faces in the group, Remus, Peter, Sirius, Lilly, and James….

 You made eye conta ct for the briefest moment before you averted you gaze. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it soon after being cut off by Sirius. “I’ll start then,” he said leaning back in his chair legs crossed and stretched out “I’m over this, whatever this is, I mean if you can all forgive me for getting us detention for 3 months then I think we can get over this.”

“It’s not that-”

“I’m really-”

“I think-”

You, James, and Lily all try to speak at the same time all falling back into silence after that until Lily speaks up. “I think that James and Y/n need to talk it out” “Like that worked before” Peter muttered under his breath. “Locking two people in a room is different then them talking it out” Remus replied under his breath. “I think that we all need to talk it out Evans. So who wants to share their feelings” he said with a stupid grin on his face. “This is so stupid” James said standing up grabbing your  arm and pulling you out of the room.

 “Look I’m sorry, so so sorry that I hurt you but I just want my best friend back.” James said holding your face so you had to look into his chocolate brown eyes. “I don’t now if I can be your best friend anymore, I can barely stomach the sight of you and Lily. I think it’s best if I just keep to myself from now on.” “No Y/n I’m not losing you. Besides Lily broke off whatever we had.” he said pleadingly. “James you don’t understand I want to be more then a friend and I don’t think I can just sit by as your ‘beat friend’ anymore.” You burst. “Then…. then maybe we can be something more. Y/n I hate to say that I’ve never thought of you like that before just recently,” you instantly deflated “but I’ve never felt a stronger connection to anyone, I mean maybe Sirius but he’s like a brother to me, anyway what I’m trying to say is that I think we should try.”  “Try what James?” you spit. “You and me, as more then just best friends” he said hopefully. “wait really” you were expecting to be rejected again but he seriously wanted this. “Yes really, I mean we can take it slow if you want, you’re still probably upset about—” you hugged him so tight, overjoyed.

 It was a moment of serenity. Eventually you pulled back and James looked like he was  analyzing every feature on your face. It was such a calm and loving moment you two were sharing when Sirius bounded out the dorm. “Hell yeah, get it James.” he yelled knocking James forward forcing his lips against yours. Both of you shocked at first, but neither of you seemed to mind not pulling away after the initial shock. Once again it was a nice moment and you decided to let it happen and enjoy what was happening, after everything that had happened  because soon enough Sirius the walking natural disaster he was would soon interrupt again but for now you were happy. Completely and wholly happy.

(Didn’t edit this just trying to finally get this up.)

[lachryprose]

June 24, 2019

"A Festival for the Broken-Hearted”

  A quarter after six in the evening, a white sedan arrives at a waterfront. There, hundreds of families are milling around, enjoying the modest breeze of January. Child-friendly rides are in regular operation. Vendors are selling popcorn, balloons and an assortment of toys in vivid red and white stands. Game stalls are also found scattered in the open. 

   Somewhere in the middle, a technical team is busy assembling a stage for some sort of band performance. It would certainly bring delight to anyone who would see such a boisterous place, overflowing with festive activities and untrammeled merriment. 

   But for some, it’s the closest place to shun their thoughts with noise.

  “Late as usual.” A young lady named Sierra remarks dryly. Her eyes emotionless and static.

  “Not bad, isn’t it? Ten minutes earlier than last time!” Beams a man as he wipes the sweat on his face with a handkerchief.

  Sierra turned sharply to the man, with a stare so piercing, it made him uneasy. Looking at her eyes, she must’ve been lost in sorrow for days.

  “Is it not always the case? Franco?” Her tears are threatening to flow any moment now.

  “I-I’m sorry, I’ll try to make it up to you.” A fretful look flashes on Franco’s face.

  Unconvinced, Sierra goes back to amusing herself with the distant horizon. It has been a month since the two had spoken to each other. 

   Around them, children are playing. Near an ice cream cart, a little girl of about 5 years buys a vanilla soft serve, along with a little boy, some inches taller than her. When they leave, the girl looks distractedly at a balloon stand. She doesn’t notice her ice cream falling from its cone. Finding it splattered on the ground, she grabs it with her small hands and puts it back. But the boy takes the cone and throws it in the garbage bin. The girl cries pitifully but the boy gives her his ice cream and she stops sobbing. 

   An impenetrable silence bridges the channel between Sierra and Franco. But with much concern, Franco revives the conversation. 

   “Do you think I’m boring?” He knows the answer might horrify him, but he needs to hear the words to find rest from his racing mind.

   Sierra’s eyes close, and her gaze found the concrete floor as she opens them.

   “Have you ever thought about the end of this tunnel?” Sierra’s eyes are weary.

   “If you imagine a tunnel, you would only see darkness upon entering. Your senses will crave for some light, of course. But there’s the sky, and we’re outside aren’t we?” Franco lightens the mood.

   There’s no change of expression on Sierra’s face.

   “But, on a serious note, no. Because endings don’t exist as long as you live in the story.” 

   Somewhat inflamed, Sierra says, “And if there’s only a few chapters left? What do you think will happen to the characters?” 

  “They’ll find a way to begin a sequel.”

   Something behind Sierra catches Franco’s attention. “Wait for me here. Don’t leave.” Then he darts away.

   Her gaze follows him. He goes to a food stall to buy a pair of pink cotton candies, a tray of nachos and two bottles of soft drinks. From a gift shop, a stuffed bear holding a flaming red heart attracts him. He buys the toy before going back.

   Franco spots an unoccupied bench nearby and calls for her, “Hey, my sweet Sierra! We can sit over there, come on!”

   They both sit quietly. Franco offers the food to Sierra but she only gives it with a cold stare. He’s crunching loudly, as though to annoy her, for which he is quite successful. Sierra glowers at him but somehow manages a smile while her fingers are fishing some nachos. 

  The sun nearly touches the edge of the ocean. But the crowd still thickens by the minute. At the center, more and more people are swarming as the stage is approaching complete erection.

   Franco pulls out the stuffed animal from the gift box, and he says to Sierra, “If you won’t take my apology, would you perhaps, listen to my new friend here?”

   He changes his voice.   

   “Hello, miss! Can I take your hand, please?” He imitates a young girl’s irresistible voice. But Sierra looks at him incredulously. Franco frowns, so she holds the bear’s paw with her right hand, which he wraps around his left. 

   “Would you please adopt me and take care of me? I swear I’d be a good boy. I know this guy here is a jerk,” Franco yanks the bear’s hands toward himself, as if to fend him away. “that is quite obvious with his impishness and lame jokes, but do you know he loves you very much? And I can love you as much as he does!” 

   Sierra bursts in laughter, revealing her smile and gleaming teeth, as beautiful as the moon, as sweet as honey, as tender as love itself. 

   “Why, of course, young one. Aren’t you the most adorable bear out there?” She says in a gentle, earnest tone.

   “But this, I’m too certain to know, you are the most adorable person out there! Not to mention the most beautiful!” Franco accentuates with a glint of contentment in his eyes.

   A warm smile crosses Sierra’s face. For a short-lived breath in time, the electricity of their eyes recharges the connection they might have lost. A thousand words are being told through that stare, and, as it turns out, it is enough to understand that nothing could get any better than coming back to the arms of love. 

   “And nobody knows you better than he does.” Franco continues.

   But the bitterness of truth invades the sweetness of the moment and breaches its veil. 

   “You do know, but I don’t think you understand me.” Sierra mumbled.

   Confused at most, Franco asked, “I don’t?”

   She stands upright and said, “I just don’t see the point of it all. There are better things that deserve our time, better than something aimless, vague and immensely variable.”

   “Variable? But isn’t everything variable? We can never be sure of what unfolds next as we the turn the pages of our book. We can never figure out where things will lead no matter how keen and measured we are in observing the roads we’re taking. All we have to do is to believe it will work out.”

   “Tell me how am I supposed to do that? If we keep fighting over things that should have consolidated our relationship? And I’m not sure anymore if we should call this a relationship, because even that is purely existential!”

   Downright bewildered, a surge of anger begins to stir inside of Franco. He swings his head sideways in disbelief.  

   “So what are you asking for?” He speaks as calmly as he could.

   “What am I asking for? Oh god!”

   “Sounds to me like you want us to be in a legal relationship with a nice emblazoned label on our foreheads to mark us boyfriend and girlfriend when you said it yourself that it is impossible to tell your family right now!”

   “That is absolutely the reason why I think it’s pointless! Our parents don’t recognize what we have! ”

   “But you know we could be patient to wait a few more years until we tell them, right? Unless you get so infested with your pet-peeves you forgot that I was one of them?”

   “No! That’s not it! We’re going against the current here, and I don’t think I could ever bear to go any further if we’ll never figure out what to do with the rest of our time!”

   They are beginning to draw attention to themselves as their voices grow into moderate screams. 

   “No! But you promised me! And it was only a few months before!”

   “Oh god! You and your childish whims!”

   “Childish? I believe that promises should be kept! And it was you who made it in the first place! Everything you say matters the most to me!”

   “That’s barely a promise! Oh god! Why can’t you just give it up so we can both move along?”

   “Wait, what do you mean give it up? No, I-”

   “JUST GIVE IT ALL UP!”

   A long, uncomfortable silence drowns their conversation. Only after a few minutes passed does Franco makes sense of Sierra’s last words.

   “So, do you really want to end it?”

   “I’m sorry.”

   “Why?”

   Both upset, their eyes loses contact with each other. The question remains unanswered in midair. They try to settle their gaze on something else to relieve themselves of discomposure. 

   Near the promenade’s edge, a pair of mischievous boys are frolicking around. Having seen a stray puppy, they hold their toy swords in battle position and starts to brandish those at the poor animal. The puppy, trembling in fear, attempts to escape them, but gets hit in the head for each try. Meanwhile, a woman of about thirty walks nearby and seems to have been looking for someone. She spots the boys and sees what they’re up to. She could’ve been their mother or guardian because she pinches their ears and scolds them but it is already impossible to hear with all the noise in place. 

   Franco holds Sierra’s hands with much passion and sincerity, “I’m trying the best I could, Sierra. And if that isn’t enough still, I swear I would do anything you ask of me. I never wanted someone as much as I wanted you in my life. I have no other words to explain this, but, I love you. Please, I really do. Please be a permanent part of my life.”

   “But I don’t want to be a part of this. Not anymore. I’m sorry, Franco.”

   “But I love you. Give me this one chance.” Franco catches her gaze, and, without hesitance nor any concern of people watching them, kneels on the ground and closes his eyes as though he is about to recite the most solemn prayer he has ever made. 

   “Stand up, don’t make a scene.” 

   “Please?” 

   At the central plaza, music starts to wind its way from the large speakers to the wide unmasked sky. The crowd has grown larger since the last half-hour.

   A subtle risk for Franco, he invites Sierra to come closer to the stage. The emcee introduces the sponsors, the organizers and the line-up of the bands. 

  The first band opens the concert with a full-blown pop song which energized the crowd and got everyone jumping to their feet.

   Franco shouts and nudges Sierra. “It’s fun, isn’t it?”

   Sierra stands there wearing a frown. 

   “Feel this moment, let the music fill you up.”

   “Yeah. I might.”

   The first band plays a couple of electro-pop songs before the second one comes to the stage. The following band is set to perform indie music.

   During one of the slow-tempo songs, Franco faces Sierra and takes both of her hands. Gradually, his eyes fall to a distant universe as his lips are sensing her’s in the sporadic darkness. Until, at last, they met in the moment’s most intimate second. There is no music playing, but only one that their hearts has written and engraved into each other’s stars.

   Love, beyond any circumstances, is still love.

   When the daze left their eyes, they both wake in the sound of the band playing an emotionally-touching song. 

   Sierra manages a genuine smile that can melt hearts. True as it can be, but her eyes are screaming freedom. She wants to leave. But Franco holds her tight, never wanting to let go. She shrugs and finally, her tears fill the emptiness of her words. 

   “I loved you. But, I’m sorry.”

   The noise booming everywhere softens to a dead, impregnable silence to Franco’s ears as he watch Sierra squeeze her way through the crowd, occasionally getting bumped by someone who’s lost in the concert’s pleasure. 

   When he makes it out of the last line of concert-goers, Franco sees Sierra scurrying towards the parking area. He initially thought that she’s after his car, but, shockingly, she enters the car next to his. A black, glossy sedan, looking fresh from the showroom, perhaps. Wondering who drives the car, he sees a man with a smoke on his mouth. 

   Sierra, on the other hand, is oblivious of Franco’s presence and kisses the man as if to tell him to bring the engines back to life. He stares at them right until the windows closed and the car speeds away. 

   Lost in thought, Franco looks back at the live performance. The current artist sings a ballad fit for his shattered heart. Mingling back to the crowd, he loses himself in the midst of several other souls resonating in the music’s pure emotion. 

   “And if this is the end... Then there is no beginning to wait.”