#so they make it everyone else’s problem. this is jumbled n messy but I see things and genuinely get taken aback bc SURELY

[maiteo]

[hesgunnalovethis]

Dark Circles

Summary: You’re cramming for a big exam. Until Leonard McCoy finds out you haven’t slept in 3 days.

Bones x Reader

Masterlist!  (thank you for all the love you guys are the best <3)

 TW: bit of sleep deprivation init, strong language, passing mention of death (satirically)

 Word Count: 1514

  You had been working on the Enterprise as a student medic for some time now. With a busy five year mission, an unspoken fling with the Chief Medical Officer and a crew who couldn’t seem to keep themselves in one piece, you’d began to believe you’d never make it that final step to officially become Doctor Y/L/N. So, when The Academy offered for you to take your final exams online, you jumped at the chance. 

The exam was in three days. You’d somehow managed to nab yourself a week clear of shifts. Whoever made up the rotas must have it sweet for you you’d joked to Leonard who was now working a doubly busy week. He didn’t mind, he knew how important this was to you. 

 You were ready to be free from the constant watchful eye of people only as skilled as you and you knew it. But having neglected textbook terminology for three years you panicked wondering if you’d be able to convince Starfleet the same. You’d been hitting the books hard for the last few days. Really, you’d been doing little else. So much so that the words were beginning to jumble before your eyes. 

Your comm rang. You answered to Jim’s shrill voice like you were teenagers on a landline. Jim had been a good few years above you at The Academy but you had always been close. Jim initially approached you as a night out trophy and when you’d firmly put him in his place, even through six vodka blackcurrants, he knew he’d found a good drinking buddy. 

 “Sooo how you feeling!” Jim asked as if your final medical exam was a first date. 

 “Honestly? Nauseous. Although I don’t know if that’s the nerves or the tiredness.” The first time you’d spoken in days, you remembered. 

 “Jeez how long have you been up?” 

 “Long enough to be two and half notebooks down.” You eyed the strewn pads filled with messy words and diagrams. You definitely passed the doctors handwriting stereotype. 

 “Maybe I’ll stop by with another one for you. And maybe some crushed up pills.” He wasn’t joking but you laughed anyway. 

 “And how is... the ship?” You said, head scrabbled but feeling rude not asking about him. 

 “Still in space.” 

 “That is good to hear.” 

 “For real, Y/N, are you alright? Do you need anything? Water? Food? A certain doctor?”

 “I need everyone on this ship to stand still for three days so I’m ready to sit this.” Jim was silent knowing that he couldn’t promise that and that he’d probably be first injured. “Currently skim reading the dermal regenerator chapter. If another ensign gets stabbed that’s on them.” 

 “As your Captain I can’t laugh at that.” 

 “’As your captain,’” you mimicked “shut the fuck up, Jim.”

 “Fair.” Jim said in defeat after a long silence. “I’ll get Bones up to see you in a bit” 

 “Don’t bother him, he’s working all his own shifts and all of mine, he’ll be more of a corpse than me.” 

 “I have never seen that man in any state other than grumpy. I’ll check up on you in a few.” 

 “Catch.” You said hanging up the comm.

 A few hours past and you’d filled up your third notebook throwing it on the pile and picking up a fresh one, like clockwork. 

 Another hour passed and Jim had rang your comm, again. You ignored it. Another hour. Another ring. Another comm ignored. You only had six textbooks left and you weren’t going to let anything distract you. Almost. 

 The door to your quarter opened as you finished notepad four. You didn’t fully register it until you noticed the room become significantly brighter. You’d really been sitting there for long enough for the room to assume you’d died. Interesting. 

 You looked up to silently thank the ceiling and were greeted by two cold hands against your skin planting a kiss on top of your head. You’d recognise those hands in death. Hands that didn’t need to sit this exam. You were jealous of them. 

 You felt him squat behind you hugging you from behind his cheek brushing against yours. 

 “How’s it been?” You asked instinctively about the sickbay. 

 “Y’know,” he began, spinning your chair away from the desk to face him, “It’s been-“ he stopped brief worry passing over his face. Brief but not unnoticed. 

 “What?” 

 “Darlin’ you are so pretty, you know that, but right now you have two friends I don’t know called ‘extremely dark’ and ‘evidently from sleep deprivation circles’ under your eyes.” He said it delicately, you scoffed. 

 “You’re not looking so hot yourself Mr Five O’clock Shadow.” Leonard’s mouth peaked at the corners suppressing a laugh. 

 In that moment you felt silently sorry for Jim who’d claimed never to see Leonard’s softness. ‘Jim’ you thought. 

 “Jim sent you?” You questioned spinning your chair back towards the desk but finding it halted by Leonard’s foot. He shook his head. 

 “He mentioned a few missed comms but I was already on my way here. I assumed you’d be sleeping. It is 4am.” 

 You looked at the time to verify. You swore the last time you checked it had been 5am. 

 “How long have you been awake?” Leonard asked assessing the desk space. 

 “A few nights.” 

 “Nights?” He cocked his eyebrow at you. “Nights are for sleeping.”

 “It’s the same as working a few nights.” You stated. 

 He smiled softly at you, reaching forward to knock your glasses from your hair to your eyes. You could see again. He’d actually gifted you sight. 

 “When we work a few shifts in a row, we take breaks. How many breaks have you taken?” 

 “A few.” 

 “Bullshit.” He was right so you didn’t argue. 

 “I just have a few things left to cover before I can start doing practice exams. I’ll take a break then.” 

 Leonard was already at your desk closing textbooks and tidying flashcards. You tried to interfere but he simply moved your hands and stroked your hair. 

 “You get changed, I’ll get you some water.” 

 You were suddenly thankful someone had pried you away. You didn’t realise how awful you felt. Head pounding, nauseous, eyes failing. 

 “Test me?” You asked. Leonard turned eyeballing you. His facial expressions having a silent conversation. 

 ‘Really?’ His face said. 

 ‘Please?’ Your face said back. 

 “Your patient is paralysed. First point of call?”

 “Neutral transducer.” You shouted from the bathroom not missing a beat. 

 “And how does that work?”

 “By picking up neural signals from the brain to mimic and stimulate appropriate muscles.” You were right. Leonard was silent for a few minutes allowing you to brush your teeth and change. “Keep going.” You shouted back. 

 “It’s pointless you know everything.” He stated. You walked back into the room giving him a sad face. He rolled his eyes he couldn’t say no to you. 

 “What are the symptoms of fatigue?” Leonard said handing you a glass of water. You shot him an annoyed look, his face was pure innocence. 

 “Chronic tiredness.” You said. He urged you to continue, “Dizziness, headache, impaired vision, slow reflexes, muscle weakness, appetite loss.”

 “I think you’re missing a few.” He said. You sighed at him knowing the point he was trying to make. 

 “Poor concentration, short term memory problems, impaired judgement.” 

 “Heck… sound familiar?” He said as you both climbed onto the bed. 

 Leonard pulled you towards him, taking your entire body in his kissing your under eye repeatedly. 

 “It’s been fun ‘evidently from sleep deprivation circles’ but you’ve gotta go. It’s not personal I just love your host too much to keep you around.” Leonard joked and rearranged your pillows to make you both more comfortable. 

 “One more.” You whispered almost completely asleep. Leonard sighed heavily. 

 “Where’s a Vulcans heart.” You laughed at the easiness of the question. 

 “Right side. Between ribs and pelvis.”

 “Oooo, wrong.” He said pulling you closer. 

 “What! No I’m not?!” 

 “Vulcans don’t have hearts. Have you met the one we work with?” 

 You laughed, softly elbowing him in his own ribs for being horrible. 

 “You do this every time you have something big. You work yourself into the ground. It’s not good for you darlin’. Not good for my blood pressure either.” Leonard softly said removing the glasses from your face. 

 “I’m just scared. God knows how long I’ll need to wait to resit it.” You mumbled. 

 “Y/N, you don’t have to scrounge through textbooks for these answers. You’ve lived these answers. Hell I’ve watched you take over from doctors well above your rank when they’ve started feeling the heat. You’re exceptional. Being a doctor is in your damn blood.” You could tell by his tone he was sincere. Your heart sung but your head retorted. 

 “What if I fail?”

 “Then I guess you’ll have no choice but to have me watching over you for another two years.” Leonard rested his head on top of yours allowing your own to fall onto his chest. 

 “I guess that wouldn’t be so bad.” ‘And hopefully a lot longer’ you thought as you finally drifted off to sleep.

[dirt-cup-draco]

James x Reader-  Impossibility

Your head was pressed against the rough table you were sat at for breakfast, groaning as you tried to wake yourself up. You had been up all night working on an essay due that day because you’d spent too long helping James study. You knew you had needed to get it done before anything else but James was batting those pretty lashes at you and smiling in that perfect way of his and even if he was infuriating, you couldn’t say no.

“Alright there?” Remus laughed as he sat beside you, patting your back and squeezing your shoulder as you turned your head to peer at him through sleep blurred eyes. 

“Fine,” You sighed, sitting up to roll your neck on your shoulders, easing some of the tension as you blinked your eyes, once, twice, to clear away the film that was blurring everything at the edges. “Just stayed up late-”

“-helping Prongs?” Sirius snorted, biting into an apple as he noticed your heavy-lidded gaze. 

“Yeah, where is he?” You confirmed, talking a deep breath and straightening your back to help you wake. Remus gave you another hearty pat before he was reaching across the table to fill his plate with all sorts of foods. 

“I reckon he’s still asleep,” Peter offered, having watched quietly while eating some toast.

Sirius shook his head, swiping a pastry from your plat as you slapped at his hand. He stuck out his tongue before adding, “Saw him with Evans, probably tried to ask her out again,” The boys started to snicker, rolling their eyes as their friend tried-and failed- to woo Lily Evans. 

“Should’ve guessed, poor bloke won’t ever stop trying will he?” You tried to laugh but your chest felt tight. The toast you’d taken a bite of turned to sand in your mouth and your appetite was quickly vanishing. 

Your friends laughed around you in agreement but you wished any one of them would have said otherwise. Maybe a “he’ll get over her soon!” or a “don’t worry Y/N, he’ll realize how you feel by years end”. You knew it was wishful thinking but you had once been so close to James and now you felt as if you could hardly speak to him alone. 

Studying was easy, you could focus on the work you both had to do and channel your nervous energy into essays and editing James’ messy scrolls. Talking in your group was just as simple if not more, if you found yourself falling short someone else in the group would just speak up and the silence wouldn’t be longer than a second. 

But truly being alone with James, was an impossibility. 

You remembered the days before Evans had captured his full attention. It had been rare to see him without you and vice versa. You would spend your nights in the common room with your legs thrown over his lap, the fire warming the room and casting shadows against his boyish face. James would play with the frayed hem of your sweater sleeve and he’d talk about anything and everything.

 You could listen to him speak for hours, days even. There was nothing more interesting than the world through the eyes of James Potter. No wonder things had seemed so bleak recently. Over the summer you had lost your hold on James, your presence in his life just not what it was that previous school year and by the time seventh year rolled around you were just wishing you had your best friend back. 

You weren’t sure what had done it, maybe it was the hug that had been too long at the train station as sixth year had ended. Maybe it had been the long stares and the hitching of your breath every time he did something as simply as sending you a playful, meaningless, wink. Maybe it was just that James Potter no longer had anything to say to you.

“Coming?” Peter’s voice was soft as he poked your shoulder hesitantly, the other Gryffindors having cleared out of the Great Hall. Sirius and Remus hovered a yard or so away, the former whining about how he should have just gone with everyone else and caught that cute sixth year Ravenclaw before she got lost in the crowd. 

You nodded and gathered your books, embarrassed for being lost in your thoughts through breakfast and disappointed that James had never arrived. Sirius and Remus walked ahead having done their duty as friends by hanging back for you. Peter slowed his steps, casting you a glance so you would do the same. 

“Y/N... I just-” He started, brow furrowed as he cracked his knuckles nervously. 

“Yes, Peter?” You prompted, knowing he might need the encouragement. Your friend was meek as a mouse and you understood it was hard for him to reach out to you. 

“Is everything okay?” He stalled just outside of the grand doors of the Great Hall, the other boys having vanished to their next class. It seemed you and Peter wouldn’t be going. You didn’t want to deal with the detention and you knew he’d be mortified to walk into a full classroom, all eyes on him. 

Your eyebrows shot up and your own steps faltered. You stopped walking altogether as you realized he wasn’t budging from his place against one of the mighty pillars in the corridor. 

“Why do you ask?” 

Peter gave you an appraising look. “You barely ate breakfast today,” 

“I wasn’t hungry,” 

“There’s something else-” Peter pressed, and you couldn’t help but feel trapped. Of course something was wrong but what was anyone to do about it? James had made his decision, or his heart had. You weren’t to be the one for him and you would have to deal with that. 

“It’s nothing. I can handle it Peter,” You cut him off but felt your stomach twist with guilt as his eyes lowered to the ground, cheeks growing pink. 

“Look at me,” You sighed. 

“The stone is quite fascinating,  did you know that the founders-” 

“Pettigrew you better look at me or I am going to jinx all of your textbooks into frogs and set them free in the Forbidden Forest,” 

That got your friend to laugh and he looked up at you with kinder eyes.  “Yeah, ‘course you would,” You were as soft as him. 

“Thank you for caring, but I really am okay,” Pressing your lips to his cheeks you walked away feeling lighter than you had in a while. 

--

“Wormtail!” James shouted, arm falling free of Lily’s shoulders as he jogged up to his friend who was standing with wide eyes and a red face in front of the great hall, his bookbag having fallen to the ground. Peter’s eyes whipped from your receding form as you dipped around the corner headed to your dorm.

“J-j-” He stumbled over his words as the leader of his friend group clapped him on the shoulder, an odd look in his eyes. 

“Was that Y/N? Where’s she headed off to?” James asked as Lily passed by the both of them with a sweet goodbye. 

“Dorm.” Peter stated and then shook his head, James snorting at his flustered friend. “I mean, yes that was her and she is headed to her dorm- I think. I’m not sure exactly but I doubt she feels like going to class today,” 

At that James frowned. “Well why not?” 

“She just hasn’t been feeling well ‘s all,” Peter had a suspicion that the teen in front of him was the reason you had skipped breakfast that morning and why you had been more scarce this year. With James’ attention elsewhere your feelings were jumbled and you were trying to find your place in the group. He understood in some way how you felt. Sirius, Remus and James had always seemed closer and it had left him feeling unwanted too. Forgotten even.

“Y/N was fine last night when we worked on homework,” 

“You mean she was fine last night when she did your homework for you,” Peter surprised himself by interrupting. 

“What’re you getting at?” James narrowed his eyes at his quiet friend. “You’ve got a problem with Y/N and I hanging out?” 

“Course not James,” Peter sighed, regretting his outburst. “I just don’t think she fancies only being needed when you’re looking for help on homework or talking to Evans or getting out of trouble.” 

“I don’t-!” 

“When was the last time you spoke to her about her day? Or the last time you ate breakfast with us and thanked her for staying up late the night before just for you? You should’ve seen her this morning, she could barely keep her eyes open! I just think you ought to be a better friend,” 

James gaped at Peter, words failing him as the boy turned on his heel and walked away. Peter’s shoulders were up around his ears as he quickened his pace but James was too stunned to give chase. Had he really been a poor friend to you? 

And what was going on with you and Peter?

--

There was a rhythmic drumming on your table at the library that was making it very hard to focus on the pages in front of you. “Merlin, Moony did you drink too much coffee today?” You snapped, eyes darting from the page and landing on none other than James. 

Immediately your expression fell into something more guarded and harsh, your lips squeezing into a thin line. James nearly paled at the sight. Since when had you looked at him with anything other than adoration? Maybe there was more to what Peter had been saying than he thought. 

“I’d like to think I’m more handsome than Moony but I do understand your assumption it was such a dashing young man at your table,” 

You hated that you had to fight back a laugh. “Stuff it Potter, I’m studying,” 

James wasn’t surprised by your dismissal, you weren’t the most studious in all of hogwarts but you did take your grades seriously and when you had homework to do very little could interrupt you. It was your tone however that hooked around his heart and tugged. 

“Is everything okay?” He coughed, tugging at the collar of his shirt. He didn’t understand his sudden shyness around you. It had been awhile since you two had talked but he didn’t think it changed anything, at least not for him. James just hadn’t had much to say when you already knew him inside and out. He supposed he hadn’t done enough listening. 

You closed your book, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose as you groaned. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?” You exaggerated and it seemed the minor change in volume alerted Madame Pince as you were silenced with a resolute “Shh!”. 

Shoving your book in your bag you slung it around your shoulder and made your way out of the library. James who had forgotten to bring any of his textbooks had no problem keeping up with you.

“Y/N!” He huffed in annoyance as you refused to stop and wait for him. “Just slow down!” 

“Just speed up,” you rolled your eyes and kept going until a hand was wrapping around your arm and pulling you backwards. You stumbled over your own feet and slammed into James’ chest. 

Without a second of hesitation you were tearing your arm away as if burned and putting space between you and your friend. 

“What did I even do?!” James nearly shouted in frustration. Since when had you been so against being near him? Since when had you closed yourself off so completely? 

James’ question made you pause. Of course he didn’t know what was going on. How was he supposed to know your feelings when you refused to admit them to anyone but yourself? He was just as clueless as anyone else, probably even more so. 

“N-nothing,” You answered honestly, cheeks burning. “You truly haven’t done anything...  Did you know you only sent me two letters over the summer? A-and that you’ve only spent more than fifteen minutes with me when you’ve needed me to help with your homework?” 

“We all went to the Black Lake just the other-” 

“But did you speak to me?” You pointed out. “I don’t mean when we’re with the others James... I mean just us, like we used to do. I guess I should be the one asking what I did wrong,” 

“You were just sitting at the tree and we were swimming and I just didn’t think to talk...” James defended and you gave him a sad smile. You knew he didn’t mean to hurt you or ignore you. “And over the summer things just got busy and I figured you’d be having your own fun.” 

“I know,” You promised. “I don’t mean to be unfair, I know things change and I can’t always hope for us to be like we used to.” 

“Can’t we try?” James asked, suddenly worried over the detached tone you used with him. It suddenly hit him how little quality time you two had spent together since the end of sixth year and his stomach churned. Seventh year was nearly halfway through and then you’d all be graduating and building your own lives. He knew he’d have Lily by his side, as well as his family- The Marauders- but would you be there too? 

James didn’t even know what your plans were after school. Shame burned deep in his veins.

“I’d like to,” You spoke honestly, smile tight. “But you’re busy and I’m- I just know that things will end up better if we both free each other. You’re free of worrying over me and I’m free of my helplessness,” 

“Y/N, before you do this at least tell me what the hell is going on,” 

“Can I get a hug? Before- Well before our goodbye,” 

“No, you can’t! Not if it means goodbye,” 

“James,” your voice cracked and your eyes turned misty. “I know you don’t understand but I can’t tell you... It will be so much worse if I do. Just please hug me and give me some time. Maybe we can try to be like we were once but I need time before that and you need to live your life like always- without fretting over what I’m doing,” 

The words cut deep even if that wasn’t your intention. Had James truly made you feel so forgotten that you insisted the end of your friendship was the best and only option? 

A hug was the least he could do. 

When his arms found their way around you he felt the tremors going through your frame. Shoulders shaking with the sobs you were trying to conceal and knees quivering with a frailty he knew had more to do with your emotional distress than any actual weakness. 

“I’ll see you around Potter,” 

You pulled away first and James wasn’t sure how to keep his hold on you anymore. It seemed it’d been gone for longer than he thought. 

--

“What!?” Sirius shouted. 

“Y/N, why would you do that?” Remus asked.

“He’ll come around,” Peter promised. 

Your friends had been kind enough to come see you in your dorm after class and you felt they should hear of the bridges burned before they found the ashes themselves. 

“James has Lily now... Being around that-” You shrugged, your feelings becoming obvious to the boys now in front of you. “It’s just an impossibility, alright? I’ll get over it eventually I just need some time,” 

“Well we can still hang out right?” Sirius looked unsure, worried he was losing a friend. 

“Of course Siri,” You rubbed your puffy eyes and tried to give him a smile. Despite having the largest outburst you knew he wasn’t angry with you. Simply worried. “I’ll always be here for you guys,” 

The three boys nodded around you, wishing they could’ve somehow helped before it came to this. But you had made your mind up and they knew it would take a miracle to change it back. 

--

That night James curled up with Lily on the couch, her legs thrown over his lap, the fire crackling. His fingers played with the ends of her hair as they spoke of anything and everything. Lily was James’ world and to change that would be an impossibility. 

[2-cute-4-school]

Hiraeth III - Final

Group : NCT

Pairing : Lee Donghyuck/Haechan x f!Reader

Genre : angst, a pinch of fluff at the end maybe?

TW : blood, weapons, death

Word count : 5K words

Mafia AU  |   M.list

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 - Final 

Chapter Summary : “ I am only loyal to love.”

Haechan’s knees buckled and he thought his heart might just explode at that moment. He could barely take a hurried stride forward in a desperate attempt to rip the gun from Y/N’s hands before he froze in his spot, his eyes enlarging almost comically as his lips parted, leaving his mouth open agape, a hand stretched to its full extent forward, a breath away from coming in contact with the girl whose words squeezed his heart so painfully moment ago.

Y/N also stopped in her tracks, the finger still firmly pressed against the trigger, but the expression that overcame Haechan’s features was enough to make her hesitate to fully seal her chosen fate. Her entire body went stiff and she mentally reprimanded herself for putting her plan on hold after everything she went through to get to this point. It only proved to herself that she wasn’t as strong as she thought she was and the thought left an ugly tear in her mind.

But as Y/N studied the boy’s frozen face, Haechan’s eyes slipped past her face, staring intently behind her, his pupils dilating even more from the icy fear that spread across his entire chest. He was face to face with the barrel of a gun, reflections of the artificial light that came from the cheap light bulb on the ceiling of the room bringing out every corner and bump of the weapon that was pointed straight at his head and seemed to already burn a hole through his forehead.

Haechan slightly shifted his gaze upwards, meeting the cold eyes of the gun’s owner, eyes that could freeze the harshest hell and turn the bravest heroes into stone at a mere glance. Haechan’s breath hitched in his throat, a weird mix of emotions drowning his already messy rationality, their eye contact enough to make his soul force a try to leave his body on spot.

“Don’t you dare touch her”

The voice was stern and so glacial that Haechan felt a chill run deep down in his bones. But while Haechan felt locked in a freezing hell, Y/N felt a hot pang ripping a shudder through her entire body. Her prior thoughts dissipated into thin air as she forgot all about the golden rule of never turning your back to the enemy and spun on her heels so fast it would have made her dizzy if not for the adrenaline that seemed to further spur her on as every second passed.

“Step away from her.”

She didn’t have to turn around to know whose voice spoke but the disbelief ran so deep in her heart that she desperately needed concrete evidence, she needed to see him. She needed to put a face to the voice that comforted her during her most ruthless nightmares and wrapped her in a blanket of safety that seemed untouchable by anyone who ever dared to lay a finger on her. She was already so hurt, so weakened it didn’t take a genius to imagine what she had to go through.

“Now, Haechan.”

She needed to see Johnny standing unharmed before her eyes.

“How is it possible?”

Haechan’s voice cracked, overcome by shock, but his legs instinctively carried his back a few steps, responding to the tone he knew Johnny only used when his job required him to put on his cruel mask. It was the voice that let everyone know the game was over. Y/N could barely feel herself breathe and for a moment she wondered if she was truly alive, if she had actually pulled the trigger or if she went crazy and her mind was playing some twisted game with her. Her entire body started shaking almost violently and her throat closed up, leaving her mouth dry. It was so hard for her to process seeing Johnny breathing in arms reach after weeks of being forced to believe that NCT was dead, that her family perished before she could see them one more time. It felt like an illusion threatening to swallow up her sanity.

Johnny’s eyes stayed trained on Haechan as if he could take the younger boy apart with just the look he was shooting him. He dearly wanted to turn to Y/N, to hold her and assure her she was finally safe, that he would die before he let anyone else touch her again, but there was enough time to do that after they got rid of the problem at hand. He let out a quiet snort, regarding Haechan with disgust as he stepped forward, past Y/n and towering over Haechan.

“Surprised to see me, you bastard? Seems like your little stunt didn’t work as well as you hoped.”

Johnny harshly gripped the shorter boy’s collar, raising him slightly so that he was forced to balance himself on his tip-toes with a gun pressed to his forehead, digging into his skin. Haechan seemed to recover from the shock of coming face to face with his supposedly dead ex-member and his eyes cleared up a little, meeting Johnny’s in a vicious clash.

“How are you alive?”

A humorless laugh slipped past Johnny’s lips.

“I will spare you the painful details, but I must say that this low gang of yours is dumber than I initially thought.”

Y/N’s mind was nearly blank, still trying to process the sight of his falling and rising chest of the man who swore more times than she could remember that he would protect her until his last breath. He was in front of her and if she reached her hand, she could easily touch his tensed back. He was alive and well and that was more than enough to set her will to fight alight once again.

“Are you hesitating, hyung? Why don’t you finish this off once and for all? Traitors don’t have the right to live, am I right?”

“But neither do they have the right to such a quick, painless death.”

A shaky, frail hand softly touched the arm holding the gun to Haechan’s head and Johnny’s nerves calmed down, basking in the familiar touch he went crazy without for the past weeks. Still, the firm grip on the gun didn’t lessen and neither did it move away from Haechan’s skin. 

“Johnny.”

Her voice was weaker than ever and it didn’t fail to make Johnny’s heart tremble with regret. He knew they had to leave, but he couldn’t wait anymore to ask what he had been wondering since their ambush.

“Why did you do this, Haechan?”

Johnny’s voice was softer, either from Y/N’s touch lingering on his arm or from the reminiscence of the madness he went through. Haechan’s eyes lowered, his words came out mumbled and filled with sorrow.

“I did what I thought was right.”

“And you thought it was right to send us to a sure death and make her go through torture? Is that what you thought was right?”

Haechan’s composure broke at that, his tone cutting through steel as his gaze became venomous.

“It’s easy for you to say! You didn’t have to watch helplessly as that sick excuse of a man pushed a gun against Y/N’s head and demanded that you choose between her life and everyone else’s! You have no idea...”

His voice got lost again between his train of jumbled thoughts, feeling as if he just relived his worst experiences. Johnny’s burning gaze looked straight through him, cracking him little by little. Gunshots echoed from downstairs, muffled by the distance but loud enough for Johnny to know that the rest of the members were taking care of Park Ji-won and the situation he had caused with no mercy.

“Maybe not, but I had to watch our members die before my eyes and find out everything went down because the kid we raised and loved all along betrayed us. I had to go through weeks of searching and waiting all while grieving in hopes of finding Y/N alive just to burst through the door and see her pressing a gun to her own head. I think it’s you who has no idea, Haechan.”

Y/N’s grip on the fabric that covered Johnny’s skin tightened at the mention that some of her members were actually gone. Her heart sunk heavily at the thought, her mind becoming cloudy once again. Of course it was too good to be true, no victory could be gained without a loss, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to come face to face with such a loss.

But Haechan’s chest also tightened painfully, despair crawling through his entire being and devouring his sanity with every word that left Johnny’s mouth. 

“I tried, hyung, I really did. Please believe me, I tried.”

Y/N didn’t know what broke her the most. She felt hurt everywhere, every bit of her being felt as if it was being burnt inside out and a weight heavier than the world fell on her shoulders, making her resolve collapse. 

“Who are you loyal to, Haechan?”

He didn’t hesitate, the response was immediate and his voice didn’t waver a bit as if there was only one possible answer and he only stated the obvious.

“I am only loyal to Y/N. I am only loyal to love.”

There was a pregnant silence. The air was heavy, chocking Y/N up even more and she lowered her forehead against Johnnys back, needing any kind of support she could get at the moment just to be able to keep herself upright. Her surroundings were spinning and the world seemed to be a mere illusion as she let herself be swallowed up by a numbing pain. Her sudden unsteadiness snapped the two males out of their daze.

“Y/N, hey!”

At the sight of her so frail, Haechan forgot all about the gun and reached out a hand to cradle the back of her head, a weak attempt to ground her, to bring her any comfort. Johnny slightly flinched at the movement before pulling Haechan”s hand away and wrapping his free arm around the girl in turn, not moving the gun away from Haechan.

“I told you not to touch her.”

But Johnny seemed conflicted. He knew he couldn’t let Haechan walk alone, as much as the boy’s words touched his heart in ways Johnny couldn’t believe existed anymore, he couldn’t trust him anymore, not even to walk downstairs where the rest of the members were taking out Park Ji-won and the rest of his men. Letting Haechan walk alone wasn’t a solution, but having to let Y/N go from his hold only hurt his heart furthermore. She was shaking so bad that a gust of wind could have broken her in two and with the way she tried to curl into herself as if to protect herself from the outside world, Johnny feared that the moment he stopped supporting her body she would collapse on the floor. Before he could make a decision, Y/N stepped away from under his arm and raised her head to meet Johnny’s eyes.

“Let’s go.”

He wanted to protest at first, concerned to the moon about her state, but the gaze she shot the pair of males was enough to settle the matters. She wasn’t fine, not at all. She didn’t suddenly recover and become stronger in less than a minute. She was afraid and hurt and broken inside out. But she decided that the fear of losing anybody else while wallowing in her own pity was stronger than her need to be held at the moment. They had to get out first and then she’d allow herself to crash.

Johnny gripped Haechan’s arm tightly and brought the younger in front of himself as they started walking towards the door. Haechan didn’t put up a fight, walking silently at the same rhythm as Johnny, knowing that the faster they arrived at the others, the faster Y/N could be attended to and that was his only priority. Y/N had always been his first and only priority and it would stay that way until his last breath.

“Keep your hands up and open. Don’t make any sudden moves.”

Haechan complied silently, raising his hands in front of him. As they exited the room, Y/N could finally hear the voices downstairs, some of them familiar. There were no gunshots anymore, meaning the job was finished. She couldn’t understand their words, but it was enough for an ounce of relief to blossom in her soul. While walking down the hallway that led to the same stairs she had sneaked up that same night, Y/N held her gun up, keeping her guard up despite Johnny’s assurance that they were safe, that the members took care of everything.

“Just to be sure. I won’t risk losing you now.”

Johnny’s heart warmed up at her words, knowing that she would be fine eventually. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for, they would help her recover and they were going to have their Y/N back in no time. He would make sure of that. 

As they descended the stairs, Haechan felt chocked up. How could he meet their eyes? How could he look straight at them after what he had done? How could he wish for forgiveness when some of their members died by his hand? He kept his lips sealed shut, trying to keep down the nervousness building up inside himself and threatening to overflow his senses.

As the living room came into view astonishment was the only word that matched Y/N’s reaction. She had seen death many times before, she had looked it in the eyes and laughed before slipping away from its grasp. Death and blood were no new thing to her and she had been sure that nothing related to them would be able to affect her after everything she had been through. But never in her life had she seen so much death in a single room.

It was clear none of the boys had shown any remorse or mercy. Most of the kills were clean, a single shot or slash to vital parts of the body. There seemed to be bodies decorating every corner of the room and Y/N was sure there had to be more around the house. The only one who sported multiple deep wounds was Park Ji-won. He was laid face-down in the middle of the carpet, crimson blood staining the expensive fabric that covered the entire floor. He must have been tormented before her members decided to spare him from further painstakingly slow suffering and gave him a final blow. Y/N felt a sick swirl of satisfaction deep in her chest at the sight.

Her eyes moved around and the only emotion she could fully decipher was pure joy. She felt almost overwhelmed by the heavenly storm going on inside her head when she caught sight of her members, the family she thought she had lost until mere moments ago. She had her angels back and if she were to die tomorrow she thought that she might actually not regret anything. Her heart soared with a profound feeling of euphoria and she truly felt that she had swum across oceans, climbed the way to the moon and back, but she felt no exhaustion. Y/N knew she would do it all over again for them.

Between the familiar faces, she could also pinpoint a few other members from their label. She knew they had worked with her members in the past, but she never met them officially, but that only served to pinch her heart even further. They didn’t know her, but they still put their lives on the line to save her, to honor her wronged members. And she couldn’t be more grateful.

“Y/N!”

Her eyes cleared as they met his, as sparkly as she remembered them and for the first time in God knows how long Y/N smiled, truly smiled out of clear happiness. He was there, looking at her as if she had put the stars at his feet with his lips parted, allowing air to flow through his lung that felt clogged up since the day of her mission. She was there, meeting his eyes with such raw emotion that he could feel his heart turn to jelly and tremble, scared by the strength she possessed over his entire being. She didn’t break her promise to him, she was standing in front of Mark, with a smile nonetheless.

Haechan could only watch. Oh, how he missed her, the her that resembled an innocent child who spread sunshine on a gloomy day. She was ethereal, out of this world and he desperately wished he could be the one to meet her tender gaze, but he just observed in silence as he lost her little by little. It didn’t matter that much to him, as long as she was happy, he could endure a war on his own, raging waves of fire overcoming his weakened heart that seemed to only beat for her, beasts clawing at his sanity that only cleared over at the sight of her. She was his all.

And if he could only admire from afar, he would let the world rip away his soul just to spend a moment longer worshiping the only smile in the world that mattered to him. Haechan swore loyalty to his love for her and he would die loving her.

Y/N started moving further from him, her steps directed towards Mark, who also left his initial spot to meet her in the middle. But nothing ever came that easily, did it?

While the room gazed softly at their regained strength, the exit out of a tangled maze they had been wandering through aimlessly, Haechan ripped his eyes away from her, distracted by the small movement he managed to catch with the corner of his eye. His heart dropped to the floor, crunching under the weight of his rushed footsteps.

“Y/N!”

The light in Mark’s orbs darkened and his eyes widened even more, changing his entire face. His voice cracked at the end of his yell and he broke into a sprint towards her, frantically reaching out a shaky hand. As Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, she felt an arm tightening around her, and then another one and a body slammed into hers, knocking the both of them to the ground. She was enveloped by Haechan’s familiar and musky scent and Y/N was vividly reminded of her dream back in her cell, Mark’s footsteps fading into the distance while Haechan kept her impossibly close to himself. And she was once again reminded that Haechan was the one who held her heart in the palm of his hand, playing it on his fingers and he would remain her keeper until the end of times.

“I love you” It was such a mellow whisper, like honey coating the petals of a newly blossomed flower, beautiful, but so fragile.

But the loud gunshot that followed wasn’t part of the dream.

The collision with the hard floor was anything but soft and it took Y/N several seconds to recover from the unexpected fall. Her head felt dizzy and her vision swarm as she attempted to lift her head. Haechan’s weight on top of her already weak self made it difficult to breathe properly, but the churning feeling settling at the pit of her stomach dropped her in a hollowness of fear.

Before Y/N could struggle furthermore, Haechan moved away from her and Mark’s fingers wrapped gingerly around her arms, lifting her in a sitting position.

“You’re alright, oh my God, you’re alright.”

His calloused hands gripped the sides of her face the moment another shot echoed, this time coming from one of their members. Despite Mark’s attempts at keeping her still, she caught a glimpse of Minho falling to the floor, a gun gripped in his hand tightly until his last moment.

“Shit”

The hiss coming from Johnny who was crouched beside them and the dark look in Mark’s dread-filled orbs were enough for the realization to dawn on Y/N. She hastily tried to turn around, praying to be wrong, but Mark forcefully tugged her against himself, tucking her face in his chest and keeping her in her sport with a hand cradling the back of her head and an iron-tight grip around her waist. She started pushing back against him, desperately trying to escape his hold, but Mark’s hold only tightened.

“YN stop, you don’t want to look!”

“Let me go, please. Please, Mark, let go!”

Y/N’s breaths quickened as she could hear rushed shuffling around them. The struggle against Mark was nothing compared to the storm raging inside her, but as she heard a muffled sob from their side, she found an inner strength she didn’t know she possessed any more. She pushed Mark away with such force he was ripped away from her, falling back on his heels.

Her head snapped and she mentally collapsed, letting herself drown along with her uncontrollable demons at the sight burned deep inside her soul. The dull ache that numbed overtime broke into a full-blown fire spreading across her chest, burning down the last of her hope, the last of her sanity, her last bit of happiness.

“No.”

She chocked on her words, crawling closer to Haechan whose eyes starred emptily at the ceiling above them, fading into nothing, the shell of her lost lover. Her knees soaked in blood as she settled beside him, reaching out a quivery hand to brush against his cheek. It was still warm and soft and it only spurred Y/N’s devastation further on.

“No, Hyuck, you can’t, you can’t.”

The sun of her world faded away, her sunshine slipped through her fingers, leaving her locked into a scary hell where no light was able to breach its walls, a frozen second in time that would bring her doom. She tried to shake him, miserably grasping on her straightened lifeline.

“I can’t without you, Hyuckie, I can’t.”

Her voice rose in volume and once Mark’s knuckles touched her shoulder, she lost it. She lost her everything, she lost herself.

“You told me it’ll be the both of us until the end, I can’t go on alone, Hyuckie, please, please you can’t do this! Not now, please! We were so close, sunshine, so close!”

“Y/N, stop-”

“Wake up, dammit! Don’t leave me alone, Hyuck! My sun, please, keep on shining...”

Her tears left trails of dying fire against her cheeks, ashes of sorrow mixing with the crimson underneath them. She closed her eyes, she wasn’t able to watch her world wither away underneath her fingertips. Her body was trembling, a wilted leaf blown away with the wind whispering the promise of her end. Johnny reached out, gently closing Haechan’s eyelids. 

Y/N leaned her forehead on his, her nose touching his, their lips a breath apart, a breath that was stolen away from him. She realized then that losing him was never an option for her, not even when her gun was still pointed at him, not even when she called him a monster. A monster wasn’t able to love, but he proved his purest form of love.

“I love you too, Donghyuck, too much and too late.”

He was her ride or die and she had just lost her ride, a ride to happiness, to the future she had been dreaming of since Haechan first shone on her and held her in his embrace, her cheek pressed against his chest where she could hear the steady heartbeat she would sell her soul for not that her breath was the only one fawning across his face.

The world around Y/N darkened and she knew her chance perished, the fire keeping her alive going out faster than the warmth leaving Haechan’s body.

“I love you to the end and after.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her fingers ran over the engraved letters in stone, the large pieces of marble attached to the wall in front of her only sticking needles deeper under her skin. She knew the room very well, although it had never hurt as much to step inside as it did now. The room of memories as everyone associated with SM calls it. Since bodies of their fallen comrades can’t always be recuperated it was decided that they would dedicate a room to commemorate everyone. Simple, white pieces of marble with pictures and a small description decorated the walls of the room, the smell of flowers lingering in the air.

“Are you sure you’re good to be here?”

His arm brushed against hers as he regarded her with cautious eyes. Her dislocated shoulder was immobilized and most of her skin was covered in bandages and soothing cream, but both of them knew he wasn’t talking about those wounds.

“Mark, I told you I’m fine.”

Her words didn’t convince anyone, a glance at her blank eyes was enough to confirm the freezing hollowness filling her from the inside.

She locked eyes with Jungwoo’s picture, puppy eyes staring kindly back at her. Such a pure happiness lost in the cruel world. He cried every time he was forced to take a life saying that all he wanted was to keep his dear ones safe as their medic and their rock. And he did in the end, he kept them safe until his last breath.

“He was braver than I’ve ever seen him.”

Mark’s voice was somewhat dreamy, regretful but admiring.

“He had always been brave in his own way.”

Died healing his family - so fitting for the only thing he had ever wished for.

Y/N moved on to the next marble piece, Taeil’s fiery gaze sending chills down her spine. Always a fighter, showing no mercy to anyone who dared to threaten his family. He was always considered their shield, a safe place for anyone he held close to his burning heart.

“He died while protecting me, you know? I didn’t even realize what was happening, but he did and he didn’t hesitate to cover me.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Just like it wasn’t yours.” Y/N remained silent.

Died protecting his little brothers - it embodied his sole purpose.

Y/N chocked on air as she was met with her leader’s picture. She knew about his sacrifice, the way he selflessly laid his life at their enemy’s feet as long as the others were given a chance to survive, the way he didn’t hesitate for even a second to save what was left of the family he worked so hard to keep together. The hint of softness in his eyes reminded Y/N of the warmth of his hand the night she brought her in his home and declared her a part of them. She wished she had been able to thank him one last time.

Mark didn’t need to speak this time, he knew Y/N was deep in her mind, collecting her scattered thoughts in an attempt to gather herself before her guardian angel that got sent home before she could find comfort in his arms once more.

“Thank you, Taeyong, thank you more than I could ever express.”

Her voice was as shaky as her fingers, wavering at the edges like a wounded bird that tried to learn how to fly again.

Died as a true leader - as he would always stay in their hearts.

She could only stare with a vacant look glazing over her orbs at Haechan’s picture that followed. He was brightly smiling and Y/N could remember the way he strongly refused to stay serious for any picture taken, the way his eyes always shone brighter as his nose scrunched up and his lips pulled back in a blinding smile that stole away her eyes from anything else other than him.

Now his picture only sent rivers of  anguish down her skin, cracking her soul open at the sight of him. She thought that she was her half, but she was wrong. Haechan was the glue keeping her pieces together, raising her up to hover above skies and oceans. Without him she could only crawl in pitch dark pits, a numbing cold seeping deeper and deeper in herself and freezing her in time.

Y/N lowered her head, too overwhelmed to lock eyes with him.

“I lost, Mark, I’m lost.”

Mark could only swallow the knot in his throat. He slithered his warm fingers through Y/N’s, grounding her to the world, keeping her mind with him.

“You’ll get back up, losing doesn’t mean it ended.”

“No, it ended the moment I lost him.”

“But you didn’t lose him, Y/N.”

She slowly looked up, meeting Mark’s gaze. His eyes had a sad sparkle, a piece of the moon residing in them, bringing a shine of light in the dark night. He had a small smile that somehow made Y/N trust him despite her confusion and pain. He continued to watch her as she moved her stare to the piece of marble before them.

“If you look around, you’ll find him everywhere.”

Y/N understood. She felt Haechan in the warmth radiating from Mark’s hand wrapped around hers, a heat she found comfort in during the darkest of days. She felt Haechan in the soft rays of sun cascading through the small window and caressing her soul the way Haechan used to caress her heart with a few mere words that soothed her distress. She felt Haechan in the heartbeat pounding against her rib cage, in every breath that filled her lungs, in each moment that passed. He was still there, with her.

Died loyal to love

And the sun kept on shining.

[storiesforallfandoms]

the new intern ~ clark kent; man of steel

word count: 1359

request?: no

description: the new intern at the daily planet isn’t very happy in her current situation, until she meets one of the nicest journalists in the whole place

pairing: clark kent x female!reader

warnings: swearing

You were rushing through the Daily Planet office, clutching the papers your boss, Perry White, had asked you to gather for him. You looked down for a brief moment, checking for the millionth time to make sure you had everything. In the short second that it took for you to look down, someone had crossed your path and bumped into you, causing you to drop the papers. They scattered all over the floor, now in a jumbled up mess.

“Shit,” you sighed. You knew you would be in deep trouble for this. You were already behind schedule, White was waiting for you back in his office. It was going to take forever for you to get all these papers back in order.

You knelt down, praying that they were numbered or something so it would be quicker. The culprit in your bumping knelt down as well, helping you to collect the papers as well. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

You looked up at the man. He looked maybe a few years older than you, with messy black hair and beautiful blue eyes that were hidden away behind his glasses.

“It’s - it’s okay,” you stuttered. “I probably should’ve watched where I was going, too. I was the one who was carrying the important papers.”

He looked down at the ones in his hands. “Oh, these must be for Mr. White’s latest story. They don’t have any page numbers on them.”

You hung your head and breathed a few more curse words in exasperation. Yeah, you were definitely in deep shit with White now.

When you started at the Daily Planet, you thought you were set to become a journalist. You had gone to school for years to get to this point, paid your dues (and your tuition) and passed with the best grades in your class. You didn’t mind all that much when you were made an intern, you figured it would only last a few months and when you got the chance you’d be able to show White your journalism skills and you’d become a real journalist.

However, you were extremely wrong. You had been with the Daily Planet for almost 6 months and there was no hopes of you getting the chance to write anything anytime soon. Instead, you essentially became the lackey of White, and basically every other journalist in the Daily Planet. White had you run all of his errands, get papers, run coffee, get lunch, book appointments. You had asked him a few times if he wanted to read an article you had written, or if you’d be able to get a chance to write soon, and he continued to shut you down. You were starting to lose hope, and wondering if it was really worth it to stay there when you weren’t even doing what you wanted.

The man you bumped into looked at you, noticing your frustration. “Everything alright?”

You sighed heavily, knowing you should lie and say all was fine. Instead, you responded, “No. Everything is fucking awful, actually. But that’s none of your business, really, so I’ll take the papers and be on my way to yet another scolding from Mr. White.”

He looked at you momentarily before extending a hand. “Here, pass me those. We can figure out this order together.”

You shook your head. “It’s no use. I’m already behind, by the time I get there he’s already gonna be pissed off. There’s no way out of it now, might as well take the punishment.”

He shook his head and kept his hand out. Realizing he wasn’t gonna let this go, you passed him the papers you were holding. He put them down on a nearby desk and started helping you sort through them.

“Thank you,” you told him. “Really, no one else has really cared that much about me. If it were anyone else they would’ve kept walking, maybe told me to watch where I’m going.”

“Everyone else here are dicks,” he responded. This caused you to chuckle a little bit. He smiled at the response. “There, I got you laughing at least.”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile didn’t leave your face.

“My name’s Clark, by the way,” he told you. “I went through the same stuff you did, except less running around. I was assigned to the absolute worst stories for months, Mr. White refused to let me do anything I wanted to. It took one rule break by writing on something else and inserting it into Mr. White’s files when he didn’t realize. He loved it and published it without reading the name on it, when he realized he decided it was time to let me write on some more serious topics than just sports details.”

You shook your head again. “It’s a nice fantasy, but it’ll never happen. Mr. White doesn’t even give me the chance to write. I have no time when I get home because usually I’m so tired from the day that I just pass out.”

Clark paused a moment, looking thoughtful. You finished shuffling the papers, hoping they were in the right order, and muttered a quick “Thank you” before rushing off to Mr. White’s office. You shoved the door open without knocking, which was yet another mistake because Mr. White was in a meeting with a couple of the other journalists. They merely stared at you as you walked in.

“Ah, Miss. (Y/L/N),” Mr. White said. “Finally you’ve decided to join us, with the papers I asked for nearly 20 minutes ago.”

“I-I’m so sorry, Mr. White,” you stuttered. “I-I - “

“It was my fault, sir.”

You turned to see Clark standing in the doorway behind you. You almost wanted to snap at him, to tell him to get out of here. He didn’t need to take the blame for you, it wouldn’t do either of you any good. But you knew that would be unprofessional, and you wanted to seem as professional as possible, even if you didn’t think you’d be there much longer.

“Kent,” Mr. White acknowledged him.

“I wasn’t watching where I was going and ran into (Y/N). The papers scattered all over the floor, I insisted on helping her to put them back in the right order. I’m sorry, sir,” Clark said.

Mr. White looked between the two of you with his usual disapproving look. It was his resting face really - resting disapproval face. Finally he sighed. “Alright, it’s fine. Just hand me those papers and go wait outside.”

“Actually, sir,” Clark continued as you passed Mr. White the papers, “I’d like to take (Y/N) on and do a story with her. Give her some experience with writing and such. If that’s okay with you.”

You could hardly believe what he was saying. You didn’t believe Mr. White would say yes to the proposal at all, but you secretly hoped he would. You knew Clark would let you write a whole story yourself. It could be the break you needed to finally get Mr. White to read your work. You tried not to look at your boss with too much hope, but you couldn’t help it.

Mr. White looked between the two of you, looking skeptical. After a moment, however, he just shrugged. “Whatever you want, Kent. I can’t see how you’ll need her help, but go ahead. I have meetings anyways.”

He waved you both off. Clark nodded for you to follow him. Once you were both outside of Mr. White’s office with the door closed, you tackled Clark with a tight hug.

“Thank you!” you told him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Clark chuckled. “It’s no problem. It’s like I told you, you just need something to put your foot in the door. When White reads whatever story you write, he’ll know he has to start writing.” He put his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “Plus, it means I get to spend some time with you. I see it as a win-win.”

You felt your face heat up as you just smiled back at him. He was right, it was a win-win.

[xxpadfootxx]

🐾Late Night Murmurs🐾

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally got around to starting up this Tumblr account! Welcome to my first post here! I will start to post more of my works here more often and I will be taking requests so if you like what you see and would like to see more then please let me know! My rules and regulations are posted on this account if you have any questions! Also, this was supposed to be just a short little one-shot/drabble and then it turned into this... oh well, sorry it’s so long 😂Now, on to the IzuOcha stuff!

~~~

Izuku knew it was late. His eyes stung and he felt as if his brain was constantly short-circuiting but he needed to keep going. Glancing up at the clock on his wall, Izuku groaned, his hands rising to rub at his sore eyes and run through his hair. It was nearly three in the morning, and although Izuku knew he needed the sleep, he just couldn’t. The stress of the upcoming exams gnawing at him like a dog with a bone, preventing him from sleeping and making it difficult to focus. He felt the anxiety wash over him and it took everything in his power to keep from wanting to vomit. Leaning back in his chair, Izuku closed his eyes, tears building up under the lids as he felt his eyes stinging in relief. He didn’t know what to do. He had been studying for hours and yet everything still felt so jumbled and confusing, it was making him lose his mind. Throwing his pencil down onto the desk, Izuku placed his face in his palms, relishing in the small break he was giving himself as the stress continued to wear him down.

A small snore jolted him from his scrambled thoughts, causing him to turn around and glance at the girl sitting behind him. A small smile made its way to his face as he peered at his friend’s prone form, her eyes closed peacefully and her mouth slightly open as she lay sprawled out across his second desk, fast asleep.

Ochako had come sprinting up to Izuku earlier that day, panting heavily with a bright red face and alarmed eyes, her arms filled with a ton of books and papers, asking him desperately to help her out. She had seemed almost feverish at the time, her mind swirling and her hair messy as she explained her predicament. Ochako was very smart when it came to a lot of different subjects but the one she genuinely struggled with above anything else, was math. She had tried and tried to study for the mathematical exams that were going to be a part of the final test but she just couldn’t get it right, her mind obsessing over the smallest things that would change her answer astronomically. She had been on the brink of tears when she had asked Izuku for help, knowing he actually enjoyed math and never struggled with numbers. Izuku had been a bit stunned to see her this way, the normally cheerful yet collected young woman acting as if she had just been chased all over Japan by a villain, but had immediately accepted her plea for help, taking her to his room to help her study.

He watched her sleep now as her gentle snores got a little louder. She looked so peaceful now, so different from the hot mess he had been confronted with that morning, her face relaxed and her breathing normal. She had calmed down when he brought her back to his room, helping her set up at his desk and pouring over her work to see what she was doing wrong, but she had remained tense the entire time, her body ramrod straight and her knuckles had turned white with her grip on her pencil. His council had helped her relax just a little and he knew she was immensely grateful for his assistance, but he could see now just how much stress she had been under as he eyed her fully relaxed form.

He hated seeing her so distraught, she was always so joyful and kind that the sudden change in her mood had set him off balance. He decided that he never wanted to see her like that again as he watched her, the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders soothing his own torrent of stressful thoughts. She had been with him through thick and thin, ever since their first year at U.A. They were adults now, making their way through their third year at the esteemed hero school, but she still stuck with him. She had been his rock ever since they had met, battling beside him, holding him when he felt lost, consoling him, allowing him to shed his status as one of the most quickly promoted young heroes in Japan and just be Izuku Midoriya around her. She let him cry on her shoulder and let down his walls, to just be human. He had always held feelings for her but held them back. He may be climbing through the ranks rather quickly but she was not too far behind. After their first year at U.A., Ochako had worked harder than anyone, fighting tooth and nail to the top so that she too could stand beside the best of the best, unwilling to back down from the daunting task of chasing her dreams. He admired her so much for that, how she had taken something she was doing just to make sure her parents lived a happy life and dialed it up to eleven, choosing to be the best hero she could possibly be rather than choosing to settle as a sidekick. Both jobs would get her the money she needed to support her family, but it was her fiery determination that made Izuku feel so inspired by her.

He understood why she had been so freaked out earlier, she wanted so desperately to pass these exams, make it through one of the final hurdles to achieving her dreams. He knew that she considered this test to be one of the most important moments in her life and it made his heart clench to know that she had panicked over her own skill, her mind filling her heart with doubts about her own capabilities until she broke down, desperate to prove herself wrong, to make it through and make all of her hard work worthwhile. He felt the same in a way, although he felt pressured less because he doubted himself and more because he didn’t want to let everyone who had helped him get this far down. Just like her, his whole career rested on the shoulders of this exam and he couldn’t help but feel the same rising panic in his gut when he thought of it. But just like always, being with Ochako had helped him get a grip on himself, helped him to focus on the problem just like he always did. He hated seeing her with that look of panicked despair in her eyes, but he was happy that he was finally able to return the favor of comforting her when she ran up to him. Pride flashed through his heart as he thought about it. They had been friends for years and yet it still made him beam with glee when she came to him with her problems, that she trusted him enough to spill her insecurities to him and vice versa.

It was something they had started to do half-way through their second year at U.A. when Izuku had come to Ochako randomly one night to cry to her about a battle he had had with a villain during one of his work studies where he couldn’t save the life of a man that had been targeted during the fight. He hadn’t wanted to burden anyone with his problems but had no other place to go, so he had forced down his pride and embarrassment and asked if they could talk. The night had ended with them holding each other, his face pressed into her neck as she cuddled him, just letting him cry and release everything he felt inside of himself. She had just listened and comforted him, only interjecting to calm him down and praise him softly. After that moment, the two had been inseparable (much to the enjoyment of their teasing friends), always looking after one another, and watching each other’s backs both in and out of battle. Izuku’s feelings for the gorgeous young woman had only grown as their bond strengthened, their increasing age making it more and more difficult to ignore his feelings around her, but he held back. He didn’t want to interfere with the dream Ochako had worked so damn hard for, and on top of that, he did not want to ruin their seamless friendship with something as stupid as romantic feelings.

She stirred slightly before settling again, making Izuku snap out of his reverie for the second time that night and debate whether he should wake her or not. On the one hand, he knew she would have the worst back pain in the morning and knew she would be much better off spending the night in her own bed. But on the other hand, a small, selfish part of him liked seeing her in his room, her body relaxed as she slept away her worries. It made him feel light that she was so comfortable being around him. He glanced at the clock again and realized it was probably time to wake her and send her back to her own dorm. She was obviously dead tired and he didn’t want her to be teased in the morning if she was seen leaving his room when everyone else woke. Leaning forward, Izuku reached out to gently shake her awake when she groaned slightly. The sound trailed off into a small, adorable whimper that made his heart clench.

“Mmmm,” Ochako mumbled making Izuku chuckle a little. A few more incomprehensible words then fell from her lips, her nose twitching slightly.

“Trying…,” Ochako said in her sleep. Izuku watched her silently, he didn’t know her to be a sleep talker, but here she was, starting to form words and small phrases as she slept soundly.

“Forward.”

“No, don’t go over there…”

“Wait, come back…”

“Come here, I want to tell you something.”

She was just so beautiful. He smiled as his eyes trailed over her, keeping his gaze modest as he just stared at her in wonder. He knew that what he was doing was a little strange and he had no idea what he would do if she woke up right now and demanded an explanation from him, but she was just so captivating, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from her. She sighed and moved a little again, her fingers twitching slightly. It seemed like she was waking up, so Izuku backed away from where he had unknowingly leaned close to her face, and prepared to wake her up once more.

“Urm, I-Izuku?”

Izuku froze as his real name fell from her lips in a breathy tone. She never called him that, she had always reverted to using his nickname, Deku, when addressing him. He was almost disgusted with himself at how much his heart fluttered when she said his name.

“H-Hey Uraraka, are you awake? It’s really late, you should probably head back to your room.”

It took a while for her to respond, the silence seemed to almost pound on his ears. Izuku had no idea why he was so eager to hear her talk to him again, but he felt like he was going to explode if she didn’t say something soon. When the silence was finally too much for him, Izuku leaned over and placed a warm hand on her shoulder, his mouth opening to speak when she cut him off.

“Izuku, hmmm,” she moaned softly.

Izuku’s hand shot from her shoulder as if he had been burned, his cheeks burning a bright flaming crimson at her words. His mind struggled to grasp what was happening. He wasn’t naive or stupid when it came to women, he knew what those husky words meant despite never having heard them before, but he was struggling to get a grasp on his emotions. What the hell was he supposed to do!?

“I-Izuku,” her breath hitched slightly as she spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Izuku did a double-take, snapping out of his dazed mindset for a moment. He knew she wasn’t entirely awake and was probably in the middle of some dream but it still made him look at her incredulously at her words.

“What the hell do you have to be sorry for?” Izuku asked in a hushed whisper, leaning closer to her to hear her more clearly.

“I-I’ve failed you,” she muttered softly.

“What are you talking about!? You have not failed me! You will NEVER fail me, what is this?” Izuku said.

Ochako groaned again and shifted a little, her face scrunching up slightly, almost as if she were in pain.

“I’ve been holding you back.”

“What!? You have not been-”

“You’re so amazing, Izuku. I’ve always known that but what I haven’t known is how much you have been restraining yourself,” she mumbled.

“What’re you-?”

“You’ve been holding yourself back, all because of me. I have been keeping you from reaching your full potential. I didn’t see it before, how selfish I have been, keeping you for myself. But I see it now.”

“Uraraka-!”

“I’m so so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!”

“You have such beautiful wings, Izuku. You don’t need me tying you down, you need to soar. You’re already such a fantastic hero, everyone loves you, and you need to be able to stay in that limelight,” Ochako said as she shifted again, her body curling into a ball slightly.

“Uraraka, you-!”

“I don’t deserve you. But I can’t live without you. All this time, I’ve been fighting and battling for the top spot without even realizing how much I was hindering your chances. You are the best hero and you deserve that spot. The last thing I want is to get in your way.”

Izuku opened his mouth to cut her off again but didn’t even get the first letter out before she spoke again, her voice choking up as a few small tears escaped from beneath her closed eyelids and ran down her cheeks. What he wouldn’t give to kiss those tears away.

“I-I want y-you to be free,” She whispered, more tears sliding down her face. “I want you to have a future and I know now that if you are to fully achieve your dreams, that future can’t have me in it.”

“No!” Izuku all but yelled. She still didn’t wake to his surprise, her nose merely scrunching up more and her eyes closing tighter, her whole body writhing in his desk chair.

“I will say this before we part though,” Ochako whimpered. “T-Thank you so much for being my best friend. My life would n-not have been the same without y-you.”

Tears streamed down his face as Izuku reached out to touch her shoulder again. He needed to wake her up now.

“I love you.”

Izuku’s whole body froze for the second time that night, a jolt of hot electric emotion skittering up his spine and biting at every nerve in his body. It honestly felt similar to when he would activate his quirk but multiplied times ten.

“I love you so damn much,” Ochako whispered, her face turning red even as she slept, her arms coming around to clutch at her knees. “I know it’s wrong of me to love you, and it’s probably even worse to tell you, but I can’t hold it in any longer, especially when I won’t get to see you very often anymore. I love you, and even though you don’t feel the same, I needed to tell you, otherwise I would regret it for the rest of my life.”

Izuku couldn’t move. His whole body was stock still, stuck in time, unable to break free of the vice-like grip her words had on his heart, mind, and body. Ochako chuckled a little, still lost in sleep.

“What do I love about you? Everything. Absolutely everything, Izuku. I love your personality, I love your looks, I love your courage and your determination and your strength. I love your weaknesses and your insecurities because to me, they are nothing more than more amazing parts of you in disguise. I love how smart you are, how loved you make me feel, how kind and loyal you are. You are very handsome, and, as a little secret between us, I almost cried when I saw you interacting with the children who have been affected by tragedy after our battles. You are so gentle and inspiring and loving, just like you are with me. I imagine that one day, you will make an excellent father.”

Izuku blushed somehow even deeper at her words, his eyes nearly bulging out of his skull.

“I just love you and everything about you,” Ochako said, her voice low and husky. She twitched and shifted in her seat again, her mind barely on the edge between her dream world and reality.

Izuku snapped then, his patience completely lost. Gripping her shoulders, he gently shook her awake, his fingers tightening slightly when he saw her gorgeous chocolate eyes flutter open to look up at him. His breathing was heavy and he knew the blush on his face was practically making him glow but he didn’t care at that moment. His hair had fallen to slightly cover his eyes but he ignored the strands in his face as Ochako finally made her way into full consciousness.

“Deku!!!” Ochako shouted in surprise, jumping away from him, her rolling chair sliding across the floor of his room until her back bumped against the wall. Her eyes were wide with shock and she held a hand up to her heart as she tried to calm her breathing. “Sorry Deku, you just scared me, what time is it?”

Izuku didn’t respond but instead shot up from his chair and marched over to her.

“Deku-!?” Ochako squealed when he grabbed her shoulders, hoisted her out of the chair, and pulled her into a tight hug. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around him, her eyes widening as she felt his whole body begin to tremble.

“Deku, what happened?” Ochako asked breathlessly, trying her hardest to shove down the feelings that reared up in her throat and chest when he embraced her.

“Ochako, I need to know, did you mean it?” Izuku asked, ignoring her other question as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his body starting to shake even more as he awaited her answer.

The shock of him using her real name for the first time was bypassed by her shock at his question. She knew what he was asking, but how did he know? She only confessed her love for him in her dream! Unless…

“Fuck,” Ochako muttered to herself, causing Izuku to pull away from her to get a good look at her face.

“Ochako?”

“I was sleep talking wasn’t I?” Ochako asked, her large eyes meeting his gaze, several indistinguishable emotions swimming behind them.

Izuku nodded slowly and leaned back into her embrace, his eyes closed. Ochako sighed in response before nuzzling his hair, her arms clamping down on his back to bring him even closer to her, tightening their embrace. Izuku’s breath hitched at the feeling.

“Does that mean you-?”

Ochako nodded against his shoulder without hesitation, her eyes closed as she waited for the sound of his rejection. Damn her inability to keep her mouth shut. “I’m so sorry Deku, I didn’t mean to say anything, I don’t want to make things awkward between us and I just screwed everything up!” A few tears slid down her still damp cheeks. “I’m sorry, god, I know I should be dealing with this like the adult that I am but I just can’t…”

Izuku leaned back and looked into her face once more, his trembling subsiding a bit as he took in her beautiful features. She was so stunning, even with the tear tracks lining her skin, her eyes shining with emotion as she forced herself to meet his gaze.

“You didn’t screw up anything,” Izuku said, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek. His heart flipped in his chest when she leaned into his touch, her eyes closing. “I feel the same way about you.”

Ochako’s eyes flew open and she stepped away from him, shaking her head back and forth. Izuku frowned, concern and confusion washing through him in waves. Why was she rejecting him? He just confessed to her after hearing her true feelings for him, why wasn’t she embracing him again? Letting him kiss away her tears? Letting him hold her and whisper in her ear all of the loving things he has wanted to say since they met?

“Ochako-?”

“Don’t pity me, Deku. You have your own life to live, don’t change your feelings just because I’m your friend. You know as well as I do that being invested in a relationship that you aren’t fully interested in is unhealthy, even for a normal person. And you are trying to become the new number 1 hero! I will only be in your way,” Ochako sniffled and tried her hardest to hold back the rest of her tears, saving them for when she was alone in her own room. Standing up tall and holding her head up high, she managed to make eye contact with him, his wide green eyes making her smile sadly. “You are so kind Deku, but for once, you don’t have to save me. Please, be free.”

She looked down at her feet though, suddenly unable to hold his gaze any longer. The silence hung heavily between them as Izuku scrambled to think of something, anything to say back to her. He had so many thoughts jumbled up in his mind, his mouth couldn’t possibly form the correct words.

A heavy sigh from the amazing young woman in front of him dragged him away from his inner turmoil and his eyes widened as he watched her steel herself and turn away from him, her hand reaching for the doorknob.

“Goodbye Deku, thank you for being my friend, I’m sorry I had to ruin it for us,” Ochako said in a hushed whisper, her fingers wrapping around the handle in front of her.

Deku wasted no time in making his way to her. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to say it but he had to do something before the best thing that had ever happened to his life walked out on him, her own self-doubts and insecurities clouding her judgment. Striding over to her, Izuku reached out and wrapped both of his arms around her torso, his hands clasping together on her stomach, his face burying in the back of her neck. A small smile made its way to his face when he heard her sharp intake of breath at the contact, her body freezing under his touch.

“Deku, please, let me go,” Ochako begged, her throat starting to choke up. Why did he have to make this so hard on her?

“No, please hear me out, I just have so many things I want to say. I can’t sort through them all fast enough. Just please wait, please, I need-” Izuku cut himself off as his own throat started to constrict. He swallowed hard, holding her tighter against him. Ochako didn’t move away but she didn’t hug him back either, her back remaining ramrod straight against his hold. Izuku gulped and took a deep breath. He needed to say something, now. Slowly releasing her, Izuku gripped her shoulders and spun her around to face him.

“Why do you think I’m not serious?”

Ochako frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what made you think I am not completely in love with you?”

Ochako gaped. He couldn’t be serious, he just couldn’t be! How could he love her? She wasn’t in some romantic movie or novel, in real life things like this just didn’t happen. Maybe she was still dreaming?

“I-I-I don’t know, I just feel like it’s impossible for you to love me back, not when I’ve loved you for so long, not when you’ve never been interested in a relationship before. There’s nothing special about me, there’s no reason for you to like me back.”

Izuku’s eyes flashed with disbelief and rage, an emotion she had never seen directed at her before. She shrank back slightly, scared she had upset him. He noticed her shift and calmed the harshness of his gaze a bit, but remained firm.

“What are you talking about?” Izuku asked incredulously. “You think I feel shackled to you? You think you are keeping me from being successful? You think I want nothing to do with you now that I’ve found out you are interested in me in a romantic way?”

Ochako swallowed before nodding slowly.

“God no, Ochako! I know you confessed by accident but you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear those words from you. Ever since I met you I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, but then I got to know you and I found out you were so much more. You were always so kind to me, so loving, so gentle, so amazing and talented. You inspired me to work harder for my dreams. I’ve never deserved you, Ochako, but I am so damn happy to have you in my life. You don’t shackle me to the ground, you are the one who built my wings! Without you, I’ll never be able to fly. Please, don’t go,” Izuku’s voice started to shake as he spoke. “Come on, you’re the smart one, open your eyes and see that I am telling nothing but the truth. I love you, more than anything.”

Ochako felt more tears stream down her face but for entirely different reasons than before. Her heart called out his name at his loving words, her mind racing, and her breathing hitching. She felt as if this was all some dream, but she knew it was real. She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but the honest truth swirling in them, his green hues shining brighter than ever before.

Izuku knew she believed him, but he also saw the hesitancy in her eyes, the doubt that she still wasn’t good enough and that this was all some elaborate illusion. Gathering the small strands of courage he had left, a shaky breath left his lips as he cupped her cheek again.

“Still think I’m not serious?”

Without waiting for a response, Izuku dove in to seal her lips with his own. Ochako gasped in surprise at the feeling of his warm and surprisingly soft lips on hers and instinctually pressed her hands into his wide shoulders for support. The kiss was gentle but persistent, encouraging her to give something back, to either push him away or pull him closer. It was only after a few more seconds of hesitation before she decided on the latter, linking her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her, their bodies pressing flush against each other.

Izuku groaned at the feeling of her against him. He had wanted this for so long, she was immediately intoxicating. Reaching down, Izuku gripped her thighs and scooped her up. He smiled when she squealed at the sudden movement, the joyful sound making his heart throb. Izuku carried her over to his bed and sat down, settling her down on his lap. They broke the kiss for air, the two young adults panting as they leaned their foreheads against one another.

“Ok, I believe you now,” Ochako said with a breathy chuckle.

Izuku beamed at her and brushed her hair back behind her ear, his heart leaping for joy. He had always found her hair to be absolutely stunning, but it had always bothered him when she would push it back, his fingers itching to do it instead.

“Good, I never want you to doubt me or yourself ever again, understand? I need you in my life, Ochako, more than anything. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. You will never hold me back, because with you I am the best version of myself. Got it? I never ever want you to think your not good enough,” Izuku murmured.

Ochako felt like her heart was going to explode. He was being so kind and gentle, so loving. She still couldn’t believe this was happening. He loved her back, he really loved her. Izuku watched as the determined sparkle in her eyes returned, making him love her even more.

“Okay, I promise. Just so long as you make the same promise,” Ochako said softly.

“I will,” Izuku said, his eyes darting down to her lips and then back up to her eyes.

Smiling at his request for permission, Ochako nodded once and leaned in, meeting him for another kiss in the middle. She sighed as his lips acquainted themselves with her own, his eyes closing and his fingers moving to run through her hair. Ochako uncrossed her legs and wrapped them around his waist bringing them even closer together. She tensed, hoping she wasn’t pushing any boundaries, her cheeks on fire. Everything about this was new to her, but it felt right so she went with it.

To her relief, Izuku took it in stride, pulling her closer to him with a soft groan. The noise he made set her nerves on fire, her blood roaring in her veins. They eventually broke apart again, Izuku staring at her with a slightly glazed expression. Ochako giggled and reluctantly slid off his lap. Izuku’s gaze instantly cleared and he looked at her with a mix of confusion and longing, an expression that made Ochako want to laugh and leap right back into his lap but she held off.

“As much as I’m having fun, it is 4 AM and we have class tomorrow. Maybe we can continue this tomorrow though? Maybe go to a movie first?” Ochako asked, her eyes twinkling.

Izuku snapped his gaze to the clock on the wall and realized she was right. He had totally forgotten how late it was, his exhaustion chased away by his ability to finally hold the woman he had wanted for so long. He smiled and chuckled slightly, running a hand through his hair. His face was flushed but he managed to meet her gaze.

“I’d love that. Goodnight ‘Chako, I love you,” Izuku said.

Ochako seemed to almost glow at his words, her eyes twinkling and her teeth flashing as she smiled the widest she had ever grinned.

“I love you too ‘Zuku.”

Izuku melted into a pile of goo at the use of his first name in real life, something about the way she said it with such love and confidence making it much more significant than when she had called to him in her sleep.

“Thanks for helping me study,” Ochako said slyly with a wink as she made her way out the door, closing it behind her without waiting for a response. Izuku laughed quietly to himself and laid down on his pillow, waiting for sleep to overtake him. When he did finally fall asleep, he dreamed of the two of them, a small smile creeping onto his face as he slept peacefully, the beast in his heart finally satisfied after all these years. Finally, they were together, a closer team than they had ever been before, and Izuku wouldn’t have it any other way.

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 22)

24 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! I know it has been such a long time since I updated this fic, which is crazy because the chapters are taking place one right after another still, but this fall has been filled with travel and very little free time for me. I didn’t get a chance to write, and though I wanted to get the story out there and share the ideas I’ve had all this time, I wanted to give myself the space to do this story justice. It’s been an ambitious AU for me, there’s a lot of moving parts and way more reveals than I ever do, making it a really big undertaking. But all of your support along the way and your continued interest has helped keep me motivated even in the time I couldn’t work on this. As such, I really hope you will all enjoy this chapter, and I thank you all for reading!

She is never leaving my sight again, Killian thought to himself as he held Emma to his side, keeping ever vigilant about their surroundings out here in the woods.

The two of them had stolen their temporary moment alone after the encounter with the bear, but both of them knew that quiet couldn’t really last forever. Nevertheless, the wish to run away with Emma and barricade her from anything that might harm her was strong in Killian. He resisted, knowing that leaving would not only put everyone else at risk, but that it would make his Emma deeply unhappy, but in the privacy of his own mind, he allowed those thoughts to wander. At the end of the day, his priority was Emma and the baby that she was carrying now, and there was just no changing that.

As if she could hear his mind’s rampant musings, Emma’s hand came to cover his arm, a silent show that she was here and that she was readily accepting his need to protect her. She looked up to him, and though he was certain he hadn’t pushed the worried internal dialogue her way through their mental link, he could see that she knew anyway. He couldn’t hide the hurt and the harried frenzy that nearly losing her had conjured up. It still lingered here with him, as it would until all of this was over and done.

We’ll get through this, she pushed to him quietly, and in response Killian quietly brought her hand to his lips, pressing a delicate kiss atop her smooth and creamy skin before leading it to rest above his heart. The smile she graced him with at the reassuring motion filled him with renewed hope, but yet again their quiet shows of intimacy were short lived.

“I still don’t get it,” a voice interjected, pulling Emma and Killian from their semi-private moment. “He comes to town, tries to kill us all, claims Anna, barrels into the magic force field, and now… nothing.”

Tink’s words, lobbed at the bear that had at first seemed like nothing more than a foe, prompted all of them to look in the beast’s direction. The grizzly was ferocious and imposing still, with eyes a tempered red color, but they lacked the vibrancy of before. Now, instead of glowing a sickening scarlet, they were more molten, a deep burgundy where they were once so bright. The mellowing out of the color signaled to Killian that the bear had calmed somehow, not breaking from its fever, but tamping it down. That didn’t mean he trusted this unknown shifter though, and until they were certain he posed no threat to Emma, that bear was getting nowhere near his woman again.

“Could we maybe keep our less helpful thoughts to ourselves for the time being?” Emma countered, and though the words were sharp, it was understandable why she said them. For as much as the bear was an enigma to them, he was just as much of a puzzle to Anna, if not more so. Emma’s friend was still somewhat dazed from it all, and currently Elsa and Liam were standing with her, the former trying to comfort her sister, and the latter keeping his reflexes sharp in case the lass made a break for the bear.

“Sorry, it’s just…” Tink trailed off, unsure of how to phrase this precarious situation.

“It’s just bat shit crazy is what it is,” Ruby exclaimed.

“And about to get crazier,” Emma’s Uncle Lance noted, commenting on the impending hubbub that was coming down the road right now.

The Nolan’s were all together in their car, not having had the chance to run as Liam, Killian, and Graham had. They’d also had to wait until they were given some sort of all clear. The situation was now somewhat contained, but before that there was too much risk in having Neal, Mary Margaret, or Ruth out here. Killian had never seen Emma’s father in action, but he knew the man had been trained his whole life to be a hunter. David Nolan would have all the necessary skills to have been a part of this fight, but as it turned out, the fight came down almost entirely to the instincts of Emma and her wolf.

“Emma!”

The car was still in motion, braking on the loose, dirt path, but it did nothing to stop Mary Margaret from jumping out and running to her daughter. Killian moved back ever so slightly, knowing what would come next, but he stayed as close as possible to the massive hug Emma’s mother bestowed on her. Tears of relief streamed down the older woman’s face, but she didn’t break down, even in her moment of vulnerability. She may have been human, but Emma’s mother was strong, and fiercely protective of the children she loved so dearly.

“I told you I’d be okay,” Emma whispered, attempting to share a smile with her Mum, and the words felt like a punch to his gut. He closed his eyes briefly, seeing again the image of Emma trapped beneath the snarling bear, but he shook it away, willing himself to be strong for his mate. Reliving that terrible moment did nothing but make him weaker and more worried.

Emma’s father, brother, and grandmother all surrounded her as well, hugging Emma close before turning their attention to the others. Mary Margaret immediately moved to Gwen, trying to take strength from a woman who had answered in their hour of need, and David clearly felt the support of his lifelong friend and capable shifter Lance, but soon the greetings and reunions were tossed aside, and all attention turned to the problem at hand. It was interrogation en masse, and the questions tossed out were free game for all of them and in dire need of answer.

“Is everyone all right?”

“Everyone’s in one piece,” Graham said, having taken account of the whole group’s status as soon as the bear was contained. No one had withstood anything that amplified shifter healing wouldn’t clear up by the end of the day. All in all, they’d been incredibly lucky.  

“Any injuries?”

“Just to my pride. Damn bear got the better of me at one point, and I can’t say I’m too thrilled with that,” Granny quipped, prompting the ghost of a smile to tug at Killian’s lips. In another moment he’d laugh at the old wolf and her totally serious resentment at having been bested, but things being as they were, he couldn’t quite get to the level of comfort needed for a good dose of fun. “But other than that, we’re all fine.”

“Barely,” Emma’s aunt coughed out and Killian watched as Emma’s head snapped to her. A quiet contest of wills elapsed between them. Clearly her aunt wanted to disclose how close things had really come, but Emma wanted to spare her parents the pain of what could have been. It wasn’t clear who would prove victorious, but then Mary Margaret caught the exchange and there was no avoiding the conversation.

“What happened?” Her tone held the firm but alarmed kind of shrillness only a mother could produce.

“Uh, it might be totally out of the realm of normal, but it’s also kind of straight forward,” Tink hedged, shrugging a shoulder as she proceeded to give the barest of highlights, thus helping Emma keep things under wraps. “A giant, angry, magically roided up grizzly shifter came to town, we lured it out here, we got it in the magical crystal thing, and now here we are.”

“Is that all?” David asked, having caught on to his wife’s increased agitation. “Emma?”

Emma’s muscles tightened significantly as the conversation went on, her stance looking more and more like she might just shift and run away from all of this. But instead, she looked to Killian, asking him only with her expression if he’d have her back. Of course he would, and he sealed that silent oath with a kiss to her temple. She leaned into the action for only the briefest of moments before taking a deep breath and coming clean.

The look of anguish on her parents’ faces was likely punishment enough for Emma, who had already felt some guilt about the danger she’d put herself in. Neal, for his part, looked awed at her bravery, and at one point he even interrupted with a word of praise, before a look from his mother quickly cut that thinking off. When Emma was done, it was clear that her mother especially was both wracked with worry and terribly angry. Her emotions were big and jumbled and messy, but though she probably deserved to get them out, Killian felt it was time to step in.

“Obviously there’s a lot to unpack there, but the big thing is Emma is safe now and there will never be another similar instance again.” He looked to Emma, who nodded readily. “And right now we don’t have the luxury of examining this all again. Gold has essentially declared war on us with this attack, and we can’t assume that’ll be the end of it.”

“So we’re certain now that it’s him?” Ruth asked. She was struggling to keep up given how much had been happening and that was understandable. Between Gold and Emma’s great uncle George’s appearance, there were so many unknowns hanging about right now, certainly more than could ever be easily understood.

“There’s too much magic involved for it to be anyone else,” Ruby replied. “But we were hoping you might confirm. The enchantment on the collar is still pulsing even now. It should look similar to the charms you witnessed.”

Ruth followed Ruby towards the choker, which had still yet to be touched by anyone but Emma. Without any discussion about the chance of her being jinxed somehow by the object, Ruth reached out to examine it. She nodded as soon as her skin made contact with the magic itself.

“This is definitely Gold’s work. It looks and feels the same. It’s reptilian almost, if that makes sense.”

“It doesn’t, but not much does anymore,” Liam remarked, and again Killian wished he was in the place to laugh. God knew they all needed it, but with so much still unknown every bit of their energy needed to be tied up in solving this life threatening puzzle.

Ruth continued to examine the artifact, her eyes taking in the material that appeared to be leather bound together by some kind of silver or platinum. It was a strange combination, but there was something in Ruth’s eyes that spoke to familiarity. Killian didn’t know if it was just her identifying the magic or what, but the hairs on the back of his neck went up just before she turned the leather over, a shocked look rushing across her face as she dropped the object back to the ground.  

“Grandma?” Emma asked, having picked up on the same nervous energy that Killian did even before it truly managed to manifest. They both moved towards Ruth, searching for answers, but she appeared speechless as she looked back at them.

“Mom?” David asked, moving towards her quickly, trying to see if she was all right before sparing a glance at the cursed collar. Instantly his face portrayed the same shock, and then he let loose a very rare curse. “Son of a bitch.”

“Language,” Mary Margaret and Emma’s Aunt Gwen both said absently, but it was obviously instinct and driven by no sort of real intention. Within seconds Emma’s mother was at David’s side and held his hand in hers once more. “David, what is it?”

“That sigil.”

Killian turned his focus to the emblem on the leather collar. It was all hard lines and angles, and though it was a random association, Killian thought of how it looked so unlike most shifter symbols. It was clearly old, dating back far before the flags and figures of most great houses, but it sliced through the collar with an authority and a bluntness that looked like many knives hard at work.

“You know it?” Emma asked, prompting her father out of the angry and confused mood he was now grappling with,

“It’s the Nolan crest,” her Dad said. “And not only that, it’s my Uncle’s work. See here,” he motioned at the ridges and how the slices were jagged but perfectly symmetrical. “Nolans for centuries used branding techniques to establish our crest, but my Uncle said it left the smell of smoke. He wanted something cleaner and so he studied the old ways. All this was done with one knife in one stroke.”

“But with magic anything can be recreated, can’t it? It could be a set-up, something to throw us off the trail,” Anna said. Yet even as the words left her lips, she was still trying to figure it all out for herself. “Still, the magic is so obviously Gold’s. No one else can recreate that, why bother with any attempted distraction?”

“It’s not a diversion. It’s a claim. Gold made his with his magic and my brother made his with this,” Ruth said, her words finally reappearing though her eyes were still somewhat glazed over by ghosts from her past. “God, I wished I’d never see this symbol again, never mind the man who made it. To think he’s working with Gold. This is a nightmare.”

“I just don’t get it. Why are they both doing this? What’s the end game?” Graham asked.

“My Uncle’s will be as it always was – to eradicate shifters.”

“Even family?” Killian asked and David nodded.

“But what about Gold?” Elsa asked. “He’s got no ties to any of us but Ruth. Surely she can’t mean that much to him. She’s been awake five years, and he could have found her in any of that time.”

“Look, I don’t know the guy, but from everything you guys have found out, does it really seem like he needs a reason?” Tink asked. “The man is clearly more than a few marbles shy of a whole set.”

“He’ll have a reason,” Ruth responded. “But Elsa’s right, it can’t be me. Most likely it’s you all.” She gestured at Ruby, Elsa, Anna, and Emma.

“All of us?” Emma asked. “I mean I get them, they’re witches, but I’m -,”

“The Nolan heir and a hybrid shifter. Not to mention you’re mated to the true alpha of one of the strongest packs in America. Elsa, Anna, and Ruby have tremendous power, to be sure, and having joined together in one place, they’d be a natural threat to a power-hungry beast like Gold. But you’re truly unique, Emma, something that can’t be recreated, and to Gold that’s worth more than anything.”

“Clearly he’s willing to die over it,” Liam said shaking his head as his eyes met Killian’s. “And he will. Soon as we can find that fu-,” A shove from Elsa reminded Liam of the smaller ears in the group now and he cleared his throat before finding another word that didn’t fit nearly as well. “foe?”

“Not terrible. Not a great save, but not awful,” Neal joked, earning a smile from the adults who were still all in awe that this young boy was managing to swim in the deep end of all of this shifter drama.

“Where’s Lance?” Emma’s father asked, drawing attention to the fact that his old friend was missing from this conversation. Killian hadn’t even noticed, a testament to the extreme stealth of mountain lion shifters.

“He picked up a scent earlier but with the bear and all there was no time. We had to get to you all as fast as we could,” Gwen explained. “He’s circling back to track it now.”

“Another shifter?”

“No. I mean I don’t know. I didn’t even smell anything, but he said there was something…”

At that moment, the low rumble of a wild cat running came through the underbrush and then Lance appeared at the tree line in his shifter form. In the blink of an eye he transformed to human again. This was pretty normal for all of them, as even Emma and her friends had more exposure to shifting this summer, but for Neal it was a shock and that manifested when the boy gasped aloud. One look spared in the boy’s direction showed he was nothing but excited. No fear, no dismay. Just the giddy look of childlike wonder that a kid might have in the face of a perfect Christmas or a trip to Disney World.

“You didn’t recognize it because it’s a scent from before we ever met,” Lance said emerging from the woods. “It’s feint, but it’s citrus rinds and tea leaves.”

“George,” David and Ruth said at the same time, both resigned but obviously perplexed.

“Lance?” Gwen asked, putting her hand to his arm in question, echoing everyone else’s confusion.

“Hunters bathe in salted citrus waters with tea leaves before an attack. It largely suppresses human scent and keeps them nearly untraceable, blending in with forest smells better than any other combination. I only know about it at all because it’s what David always smelled like growing up.”

“He’s here?” Emma’s father asked, skipping over the tea bath tidbit.

“If he isn’t then he was. Trail leads to the clinic. It’s strong there but no sign of him. SUV tire tracks in the dirt. Recently left.”

“Was the SUV big enough to hold him?” Anna asked, motioning towards the bear, her face angrier than Killian had ever seen it.

“Would have been a cramped cage,” Lance admitted, making the air around Anna practically crackle with her resentment of David’s Uncle. A breeze floated in the glen around them, and in it there was a glinting of light that spoke to something more than wind. It was Anna’s palpable energy, and though she did her best to conceal it, the storm inside her mind and heart was starting to brew in the world around them. “But there’s more. The clinic has been marked, and the animals inside are feeling very on edge. You’re gonna want to get over there before some humans do.”

“Wait but hold on, how is this even possible?” Emma asked, stalling everyone in their tracks before they sped off to the clinic. “How would your Uncle have had time to get here after messing with Neal? The bear attacked maybe thirty minutes after you left. And I’m sorry, I don’t care how skilled a hunter he is. You’re telling me he brought a giant grizzly in a huge SUV into the city Boston? Doesn’t that seem like a really dumb idea?”

“Emma’s right, the timeline is all off,” Killian affirmed, and it seemed to dawn on the others how accurate that was.

“I showed Neal a picture once we got back to the house, and he confirmed it was definitely George who approached him.”

“But what if it wasn’t?” Ruby asked, turning her inquiry to Emma’s brother. “Neal, was there anything strange about the man who approached you?”

“You mean other than the fact that he cornered me and said all that cryptic stuff about my being a hunter and his family?” Ruby nodded. “Uh, I don’t know he spoke kind of fast. Like a little faster than was easy to follow. Made the already crazy stuff he said even more confusing. It also felt like he was kind of talking to himself, answering his own questions when I didn’t really feel like he’d asked anything. And he kept flicking his wrist as he talked and then balling it up. His face got mad when he did that but only for a second.”

“That doesn’t sound like George,” Ruth said critically. “He’s a methodical man. His whole life has been about control and perfection. He speaks so well, he’s a vocal coach’s dream. Same with his movements.”

“Hunters don’t fidget,” David said, sounding like he was repeating words he was oft told in his past life as opposed to making any sort of additional commentary.

“Could a human smell a hunter, even though shifters mostly can’t?” Neal asked and Emma’s father responded.

“Yes but it would be almost unnoticeable. Why do you ask?”

“Well I didn’t really think much of it but I smelled something awful in the air when he came up to me. I thought it was just one of those city pockets you know? Where the air is just dirty and you kinda have to walk through it.”

“Could be,” Ruby said, “But sulfuric smells can be a side effect of dark magic. Ruth, what was Gold like when you interacted with him all those years ago? Do you remember?”

“Well he was much more unbalanced than George, that’s for sure. Gold used to talk in riddles anytime I met with him and always so fast you barely knew what he was saying. Now that you mention it the wrist thing sounds like something too. He used to kind of flick his up like this,” Ruth said, displaying a gesture that was almost caricature of what a person with magic might do.

“So the body language and the other clues hint that Neal was actually dealing with Gold and not George, and if that’s the case he must have used a glamour spell,” Elsa acknowledged. “Unless there’s another way?”

“No, for him to look like George it would have to be a glamour, it would explain the smell, but it would also take a lot of magical energy. He should be really weak after expending himself like that. I mean between that and the magic that’s been spent on trapping this bear… he shouldn’t even be alive.”

“’Should’ doesn’t really seem like a word that fits in our world at the moment,” Granny sassed and they all agreed. There was no reason to assume Gold was anything but fully healthy right now, no doubt through some sinister means.

“I think realistically we need to split this up. George has apparently left this mess for me at the clinic. We should start there,” Emma’s father said, nodding to Lance and his mother who both silently accepted their new assigned posts.

“Usually I’d say I’m all we need over at team ‘scent tracker,’ but with everything that’s happened today and all the breaches…”

“You need help,” Graham said, filling in for Tink without hesitation. “I’d go, but we need to keep up the appearance of normalcy for the rest of the town, and after this bear warning people are going to have questions.”

“I’ll go with Tink,” Granny offered, surprising most of them before letting out a disgruntled huff and straightening her shoulders. “Oh please, I’m old, I’m not dead. Heck the kids would say I’ve got ‘mad skills’ when it comes to tracking.”

“Any kids who would have said that are probably in their mid-thirties by now,” Killian whispered, and despite everything Emma squawked out something close to a laugh. She then sent him a sharp but loving look, telling him that now was not the time but that she did find him funny.

“As much as we have to find George, we need to track Gold just as badly,” Elsa proclaimed. “I still don’t sense him as being the biggest threat, but he’s in this too and if we’re ever going to get an idea of what the end game is, we need to know everything we can.”

“So that leaves what?” Ruby asked. “Bear watch? Liam and Killian can handle that.”

“What about us?” Emma asked, motioning towards her brother and her mother.

“We need to put some of that natural organizing to good use,” Ruth said adamantly. “Mary Margaret, you more than anyone could try and map this out. Getting everything we know in one place could help make everything more clear.”

“Plus no one is better at wrangling multiple groups,” Gwen added, waving her walkie talkie in the air before nodding towards Graham. “You’ve got a direct line to all of us, and the patience and know-how to get everything you need.”

“Well when you put it like that,” Emma’s mother said, clearly pleased with her role. “So what are we waiting for? This war ain’t gonna win itself.”

And since that was true, they all moved off to their designated jobs, though Killian kept track of Emma constantly. Luckily her mother decided to set up their brainstorming outside here in the glen, so as much as Killian was on bear watch, he was also looking out for his mate. Killian would not let anything happen to Emma and their family, so right now it was his mission to use all of his years of experience as a shifter to aid in their protection. In the long span of his life where he sought to avenge his mother, and then in the years spent tracking and avoiding any signs of Liam and his pack, he had become a well-honed machine. His skills allowed him to feel ready for whatever may come, and he trusted that his love of Emma and his want to protect both her physical being and her heart would make anything possible. Whatever foe may present themselves, he would handle them, because there was no other option as far as he or his wolf were concerned.

That readiness and familiarity with trouble, however, did not apply to everyone, and there was one person amongst them who more than anyone must be flummoxed and uneasy given all the tumult. Killian looked even now at young Neal and he felt for the boy. He was putting on a brave face, but there was still concern that made its way to the surface now and then. Emma’s brother hid it well from his overbearing and constantly watchful mother, but when Mary Margaret moved away to talk with Gwen on the walkie talkie about everything going on at the clinic, Killian saw a chance to try and do some good.

“You holding up all right, lad?”

Killian posed the question like it could in any way be straight forward to this young boy. Emma’s brother had woken up this morning a gifted but largely ordinary child. He was brilliant to be sure, but he had no real notion of what any of this meant. Human science alone couldn’t prepare him for this, not when the books they taught in schools mentioned nothing of this whole different part of the world. It must be a great shock to him, yet here Neal stood, ready for action and above the fray of questions most people, no matter what age, would grapple with when a situation like this arose.

“It makes sense in a way,” Neal admitted, shrugging his shoulder. “Not the whole my great uncle is working with a warlock thing. That’s just crazy.”

“Aye it is. But the shifting, and your wolf, they’re not as surprising to you?”

“I had dreams, back when everyone thought I was going to die.” Neal shrugged at the memory of those times, because his childhood illness was just a part of his life. It was a painful chapter of the Nolan family story, but Neal looked to be all the stronger for it now. “They were pretty all over the place. I was sleeping all the time and I was in and out, but there was a woman towards the end, that I remember. She was nice, with a smile like my mom. I knew I could trust her, and the next thing I knew she turned into a wolf and I did too. It was weird, but it felt right, you know?”

Killian gulped, knowing that the woman Neal spoke of was his mother. He debated telling the boy the full truth, but given everything that he was saddled with now, it didn’t seem wise. There would be time, hopefully, when all of this had been resolved and he and Emma could have a full discussion with Neal about all they’d learned. They’d tell him of Emma’s own dreams, of the process Elsa’s magic had undertaken to save them both, and how Killian’s mother found a way even beyond the grave to watch over him and the family he would one day love. But for now, the best course of action was bolstering Neal’s faith and telling him this would all work out okay.

“It must be strange, to learn of what you are later like this. I know for Emma it was a unique process. It can be overwhelming. But it’s also…” he searched for the right words.

“Uh, totally cool?” Neal filled in, looking genuinely enthusiastic. “I mean I can turn into a wolf. That’s pretty bad ass.”

Killian and Neal’s heads both whipped towards the direction of Mary Margaret, but despite her motherly senses, she seemed to have missed her son’s bit of cursing. That was likely for the best.

“It’s an amazing gift to be sure. I know I’d never feel truly whole without my wolf. I’m glad you and Emma will have that now too.”

“Yeah. I just wish I didn’t have to wait. I mean five more years? That feels like forever.”

Killian smiled and he knew that for Neal it must seem like just that. As a kid, years felt like they’d never pass, and time would never move in the direction that you wanted it. It took the benefit of hindsight to see that everything comes exactly when it should, and as a new shifter, Neal would be in much better shape if he had a few years of understanding who he was before moving into that phase of his life.

“When things calm down, we should talk. You’ll have questions, and while your father is well versed in much of the shifter world, he might not have all the answers.”

“Did your Dad have them?” Neal asked, not out of any malice, but because he just genuinely didn’t know the history of Killian and his family.

“No, but I was lucky to have an elder brother.”

“And now I will too,” Neal said, like Killian’s new status in the family was a long time given. Killian smiled at that, nodding.

“Aye. That you will. Whatever you need, Neal, I’ll be here to help. So will Emma, and Liam, and all of us.”

“Like a real pack,” Neal said and Killian thought about it a moment before nodding. After all, what else could they be called at this point? There were so many of them, shifter, witch, and otherwise, tied together through love, through family ties and friendship. If that wasn’t a pack as it was intended to be then Killian didn’t know what it was.

Feeling secure in the fact that Neal was okay, Killian planned to switch his attention back to the others and their deliberations, but the bear suddenly let forth a harsh huff of air, propelling the front of his body up into the air, before stomping its thick paws into the earth below. Killian went on alert, preparing to get to Emma if the grizzly should break free, but then he gathered that the others were talking about the bear and the bear was somehow communicating, though perhaps not very effectively.

“It’s the weirdest thing,” Neal said, shaking his head as he watched the captive beast.

“Seeing a mammoth grizzly in a magic cage? Yeah, weird is one way of putting it.”

“It’s not that. It’s the smell around him. It’s sterile and sharp. I swear it smells like when I was in the hospital. Like an IV but not quite.”

Sniffing the air, Killian could at first only sense the overwhelming stench of a shifter sickness and Gold’s magic, but there, underneath those notes, there was something he belatedly recognized as medical. Now that Neal said it, he wondered how he, or any of the other shifters had missed it all this time.

“I’ve got news for you, lad: those supposed genius tendencies of yours are not purely human. You’re gonna be a hell of a shifter.”

Neal grinned at that, and after Killian urged him to tell the others, a whole new door of inquiry opened. Everyone came back from their separate corners of Storybrooke, seeking to put a new piece of the puzzle in place.

“Magic and medicine? But that’s crazy. Can it even be done?” Tink asked.

“I think we’re looking at the proof,” Elsa hedged, gesturing at the bear.

“Did anyone get a bite of his neck?” Emma asked and the others who had been there in the thick of the fight shook their head. “He’s got two puncture marks there, I saw a flash of them when I took the collar off, but I just assumed…”

“Let’s all just make a plan to stop doing that for the time being,” Graham said and they heartily agreed, for surely assuming anything was getting them nowhere. They had to start from scratch and do as Neal had done, study the problem just with the facts and clues before them.

“Are the marks identical, Emma?” Neal asked and after a moment of reflection Emma nodded.

“Yeah, they looked pretty similar. I only caught a quick glimpse though.”

“Can you get him closer to us?” Neal asked and Mary Margaret shook her head.

“Neal, no -,”

“He doesn’t need to leave the enclosure, Mom. I just need to see his neck. Emma said there’s two punctures. That’s rare in medical treatment of any kind, human or animal. There’s usually only one puncture site. Whenever I needed more than one medicine they stuck me in different places or they’re infused through one site, resulting in only one puncture. Two identical pierces is almost unheard of. In fact, the only researchers I know that have regularly and successfully used two study genetically based nervous system manipulation.”

“Uh, can you repeat that in English?” Liam replied and Killian related to his brother’s sentiment. This was elevated stuff well beyond the experience set of any of the adults here, save for maybe Emma and David who had a veterinary background, and Neal was a teenager. How did he know about this?

“Basically treatment to regrow and stabilize a broken nervous system. Yes, it’s super complicated and obscure, and before you ask, I just spent the summer rooming with a medical prodigy who is headed to Columbia pre-med at 14. You pick up stuff when all your friend talks about is cutting edge science stuff.”

“That’s brilliant, Neal, but what makes you think that this has anything to do with that?”

“Well the dual needle there wasn’t just used for fun, it was necessary to yield any positive results. The doctors were trying to infuse damaged nervous systems with a lining that would revamp nerves and allow for an artificial system reboot. They needed two different solutions to do that, and they needed to mix at the same rate through the body while not being combined outside of the system itself. They said that allowing the chemical interaction to happen inside the body actually improved the lasting effects of the treatment.”

“So that begs the question, how do we get closer to him?”

Granny’s query prompted all of them to look to Anna automatically, but that only prompted Elsa to get defensive.

“No! No way! Absolutely not! You are not going in there.”

“Elsa we need to know,” Anna replied, her tone even, not matching the loudness or the fear of her sister. “And it’s like I keep telling you. He won’t hurt me.”

“Maybe we can just ask him to come closer?” Emma added, clearly not wanting her friend anywhere near that bear without the barrier still between them.

“But what if one of the solutions Neal is talking about isn’t just science?” Ruby replied, her brow furrowed together. “If it’s magical then we need a witch to gauge that and that would be damn near impossible with Elsa and Anna’s enchantment as strong as it is.”

“We’re not doing this,” Elsa said, her anguish clear, but the fight in her starting to fail somewhat.

“What other choice do we have, Elsa? We’re in danger and more than that we’re blind. We need answers. We need them to stay safe, and we need them to heal him. He has to be okay, Elsa. He just has to be.”

The connection Anna felt to this bear was strong already though she’d never even seen his human form. Killian understood that, and though it must feel impossible to accept that Anna might be in any kind of danger, Elsa did too. All she needed to do was think about when it was Liam. When the two of them first met, Liam was still unstable and unwell, perhaps to a different degree, but Elsa stood by him. She was devoted right from the start, and she did everything she could to heal his brother and to stop his pain. Anna wanted to do the same thing, and now Elsa had to support her, fear and all.

You will not hurt her, do you hear me?

The mental push came from Emma and was aimed at the bear, but Killian still heard it. Her eyes were wary, set on the grizzly as her face gave nothing but seriousness away. The bear snorted but gave a sharp nod, unwilling or unable to reply with coherent thoughts, but showing with animal action that he was not in an aggressive place.

“Okay, Anna. You can go in there, but only for a minute. You find out what we need to know and then you get back out here. Are we clear?” Emma asked and Anna nodded. Without any more deliberation she moved to the edge of the crystal enclosure and then she stepped in.

Not knowing how things would go made the moment of Anna’s examination emotionally fraught, but beyond that this was a moment that both Emma’s friend and this unknown shifter must be craving on a cellular level. They were fated mates, destined to be together and yet unable to have more than a brief interaction. They couldn’t even speak to each other, and the fact that this was all happening while he was a bear must make things even more confusing. Yet none of that translated. Instead, Anna approached with cautious determination, stopping just before the bear and pausing only for a moment before she raised her hand to the bear’s face. Her hand made contact and everyone held their breath until the bear made a low, but welcoming growl.

“Hi,” Anna murmured after a moment, her voice raspier than usual. “This isn’t how I thought something like this would happen. I had all these ideas about who you’d be and how we’d meet and this is just… well, different.”

The bear closed its eyes for a moment exhaling what could only be called a grizzly form of a sigh, and then nuzzled more so into Anna’s touch. A sign of agreement and docility that was so alien a concept with a shifter this sick.

“Anna.” Elsa’s calling out to her sister reminded Anna of her mission and she straightened her stance and nodded.

“Right. I have to fix this. I have to help you. And I don’t know if you heard what we were saying but -,”

The bear didn’t even need to hear the rest of her request, instead shifting so Anna could be up close and personal with his neck and the site of the punctures Emma had seen. Anna let out a sound of sadness at seeing where the bear had been injured.

“What do you see?” Neal asked.

“Two puncture marks, just like Emma said. And they’re really big and thick. I can see why you thought someone bit him. He’s started to heal over it but there’s scarring and…” she raised her hand over the wound but trailed off from speaking to them.

“And what?” Ruby asked.

“You were right Ruby, I can feel the magic. Some sort of potion of something. But there’s something else here. Some residue of something else.”

“We need to see that!” Neal said, his desire to figure out this puzzling situation clear as day. “We can test his fur or maybe get some blood work, but it would be better if we had the actual solution itself.”

With just the barest flutter of her fingers Anna used her magic to extract the droplets of whatever liquid coated the bear’s fur. It was entrancing to see, and the little bits of whatever injection was used hung suspended in the air. It was a small amount, but small was better than nothing at all. “I need something to put this in.”

A vile was produced from Mary Margaret’s bag, and no one bothered to ask why she had it. No doubt some sort of ‘always be prepared mentality’ and Emma brought it to the edge of the barrier with Killian right behind her. But while they expected Anna to come right away, she was stalled, wanting, no doubt, to stay close to her mate.

“I know how hard this must be, Anna, but the sooner we figure out what this is the sooner you can heal him.”

“I’m going to fix this,” Anna said, for the bear’s benefit and not for any of theirs. “We’re gonna find out what this is and I swear I will fix it.”

At the mention of her leaving, the bear’s eyes went dark, looking more onyx than any shade of red. It reminded Killian of his father and of Liam and it all clicked. This was some sort of manufactured alpha sickness. It had to be. But just as soon as that darkness came, the bear shook its head and pushed it back again, its irises back to a deep burgundy color. The bear hoisted its body up and then stomped its two front feet to the ground but made no more sounds. It was a dismissal of Anna, and a nonverbal warning that she had to go now before he lost control. Anna seemed to understand and she moved quickly towards the barrier and back outside with all of them. With shaky hands she used her magic to put the droplets in the vial and then sealed it before handing it to Neal.

“You want me to look at it?” Neal asked, his eyes growing wide.

“Yes, Neal, I do. You were right about the injections, and if we didn’t have that we’d pretty much have nothing to go on,” Anna said. “You are brilliant, and you are my brother, in every way that matters. Right?”

“Right,” Neal agreed without hesitation.

“I know it’s asking a lot, and I know you might not be able to handle everything alone, but I just need you to try. Anything you learn is helpful. Anything. I can do the magical stuff, but I don’t know anything about medicine.”

“I’m gonna need help,” Neal said looking to Emma and Emma nodded.

“And you’ve got it. You’ve got me and Dad. I don’t know much about double injections or genome treatments, but I’ll do whatever I can. We’ve got equipment at the clinic. We can run some tests and see what compounds we’re working with and -,”

Killian was about to speak up and say that Emma needed to think about this before making any bold decisions. She’d been through the ringer today, and this testing would no doubt be an involved process. It worried Killian that Emma would continue exerting so much energy when she’d had such a close call earlier, but surprisingly it was Neal who vocalized that worry first.

“That’s exactly what we’re gonna do, Emma. But I think Dad and I have got this for now. You should rest up. You’ve had a way longer day than the rest of us.”

“But I can help too,” Emma reasoned.

“And you will. But maybe tomorrow, all right? This is gonna take a while. We won’t find any answers right away anyway. You know that.”

Killian waited eagerly, hoping that Emma would reach that conclusion on her own as well, and he felt himself relax when she agreed. It was such a relief to know that Emma wouldn’t be over extending herself into the wee hours of the morning. The day was already fading away, with the sun dipping low in the trees, and Killian knew that what his mate needed was food, rest, and time away from the insanity of their world right now.

The others all agreed with Neal’s take, and with a new plan in motion people started to split up, headed for their evenings in different ways. The Nolans headed to the clinic to grab start testing things both at the lab and then back home, while Ruby, Anna, and Elsa agreed that they should try and process the magical concoction that Anna had sensed in the bear and in the collar. Ruby would do so with her family’s archives back at Graham’s, but where Elsa tried to offer a similar scenario for her and Anna, Anna was uninterested.

“I’m not leaving him,” Anna said sternly, looking back to the bear with a fierceness of conviction that had no chance of being swayed. Knowing this instinctively, Elsa let out a small sigh but nodded.

“Okay, so we stay.”

“You two mind?” Liam asked, and Killian smirked at his brother’s question. Even if he did mind it wouldn’t matter much. Liam would just camp out here with his mate and her sister. But there was no need, not when he had somewhere else he and Emma could go.

“Knock yourselves out,” he quipped, gesturing to the doorway. “We’ll just pack a bag and be out of your hair.”

“We’re not staying?” Emma asked, looking surprised, but also a bit relieved if the flash in her eyes was anything to go off of.

“I have a better idea, love. That is, if you trust me.”

“Always,” Emma said, and though he stole a fleeting kiss from her lips, it was but a mere morsel to tide him over until real privacy could be procured.

True to their word, they took only a few minutes to pack what they needed, and then they were off. They could have walked to their destination, or shifted and run over, but with George still on the loose and Gold MIA Killian wanted the opportunity at a faster getaway if need be. The drive was rather short, even with a stop at the town diner to grab some dinner, and the most notable change was that they went from the deep woods where their cabin was further towards the coast just at the edge of town. Eventually the paved Storybrooke road turned to one of pebbles and dirt, and Emma looked both amused and confused at why they would be going this way. Her eyes soon shifted though to mere enjoyment, as she took in the picturesque surroundings of this coastal lane, surrounded by greenery and bushes that held large summer flowers in shades of pinks and blues and whites.

“They’ll be paving this soon,” Killian announced and Emma’s brow furrowed as she looked from their surroundings back towards him once more.

“How do you know that? No one even lives here.”

“Ah, perhaps not yet, but the house has been recently purchased and a move in is likely inevitable.”  

“Well the new owners have done a ton of work. This was all overgrown before. Has been since I was a kid. I always loved this house though.” Emma made the comments just before they pulled around the bend, and when she saw the house in question her jaw dropped and her shock was palpable in the car. “Oh my God! Look at that. It’s… well it’s…”

“Do you like it?” Killian asked and Emma nodded immediately though her brow furrowed with confusion.

“I do, it’s gorgeous, but I don’t understand. When you said there was somewhere else we could go I assumed you meant my place above the clinic.”

“We could have gone there, but tell me you wouldn’t have then been tempted to burn the candle all night searching for answers.” Emma couldn’t say that truthfully so she opted not to respond, giving Killian the space to pull her closer as he confessed his intentions. “When we were in the woods before I told you that someday would be here sooner than you think. This house was  meant to be your wedding present, but I think, all things considered, we should cherish every moment that we have.”

“I thought you were talking about the baby” Emma whispered, her eyes misting over with happy tears as he stole a kiss from her lips with soft but sure affection. His hand came over her stomach automatically at the mention of their pup and when his lips pulled away from hers, he couldn’t help his genuine smile.

“I was, my love. Our family is on the path to exactly what we’re wanting. But as much as I cherish our cabin in the woods, this,” he waved his arms at the house before them. “This is the home you and our little ones deserve.”

With Emma still stunned into near silence, Killian produced the keys to the house from his pocket, having grabbed them from the cabin discretely enough to escape Emma’s notice. On the keychain there was also a token charm that had caught his fancy while in town. It had a swirling design that looked like the fur of a wolf when examined up close, or the sea in the midst of great uncertainty. In the foreground of the metalwork, there was an anchor, and for whatever reason, he found he liked that symbolism and that it made him think of his mate and the life that they were building together. In every way, Emma was his anchor, an anchor to goodness and love and hope, all things he now could no longer live without and that he wished to carry with him always.

“Killian.”

His name was all that Emma could seem to say in this moment, and her fingertips came to cover her mouth as she shook her head in awe. For a split second he wasn’t totally sure if he had made the right call. Buying one of her favorite houses in town might seem like a great idea, but perhaps Emma wanted to be more involved herself in the process of finding their forever home. There was so much that had to be selected and chosen to bring the house into this century and up to a livable code, while still maintaining the quintessential charm of the coastal Maine mansion. But when Emma’s green eyes welled with happy tears and her cheeks flushed that familiar shade of pink, he knew he’d made no wrong moves. Emma was happy with this, and that was all that he had ever wanted.

“Now I should warn you, love, not everything is finished. I gave them a timeline of the end of the summer, knowing that I wanted it done by our wedding night. But it’s structurally sound, and the upstairs is all furnished. Well at least it’s supposed to be and I -,”

Emma laughed at his sudden feeling of remorse, and then she pulled him in for a kiss so fast that he lost all sense of himself before his worry could actually begin to take hold. All there was in this moment was Emma and her happiness. Out here, away from everyone else, Killian allowed his overprotective need to kick in, and with a quick maneuver, he had Emma backed against the front door, knowing he had boxed her in, but never going so far as to hurt her. If anything, it just turned his mate on, and she arched even closer, taking as much from this kiss as he did, until they finally broke apart.

“You bought us a house,” Emma whispered.

“Aye, love,” he said, cupping her cheek after brushing some of her hair back from her beautiful face. “I bought us a house.”

“How do you always manage this?” She asked, and Killian didn’t know what exactly she meant by ‘this’ but he awaited her assessment whatever it may be. “Every time things go sideways, there you are, making things better. This is perfect, in every way. There’s only one thing I wish was different.”

“What is it love?”

“I wish I was already your wife. I wish we didn’t have to wait anymore.”

Hearing that amplified Killian’s own want for the same exact thing, but despite the fact that they had tonight ‘off’ so to speak, a wedding, a real wedding, worthy of his mate and all her hopes and dreams, just couldn’t be done. As such, he had to improvise.

“Do you, Emma Nolan, choose me, Killian Jones for this day and all your days? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in this life and any more we may be blessed enough to see?”

“I do,” Emma said, with tears glistening in her eyes as she smiled, looking at him with all the love in the world. “And do you, Killian Jones, choose me back? Will you promise to love me, to cherish me, and to honor me in every way I plan to do for you, for this day and for always, no matter what may come?”

“I do,” he replied and Emma let out a soft laugh, a tantalizing sound that caught on the wind before fading away as their lips came together to seal their vows to each other.

They were now, in their hearts, man and wife, mate and mate, and though it might not be ‘official,’ Killian knew in that moment that he and Emma had bound themselves together in a new and enduring way. And so, even though things might not be going exactly according to plan, Killian delighted in the moment when he swung his love up in his arms and whisked into the house of their future and showing her the place that would be the site of their hopefully impending happily ever after.

Post-Note: So there we have it! I know this chapter has taken so long to come about, but with so many elements that I had wanted to incorporate, I knew I needed time to not only write, but to read through what I’ve already written. This whole George and Gold fiasco will soon be coming to a head, BUT please be informed it might not all be in this particular story... For those of you who have been begging me for a story that includes CS but is mostly told from the POVs of others, you will be *eventually * getting your wish. Elaborating more would be spoiling what is yet to come, so I’ll leave it there, but suffice it to say I am really excited for this next cool idea when it does come to pass. aAs always I appreciate you guys reading this, and I hope you all enjoyed and have a wonderful rest of your week!!

[just-jily]

Of Jealousy and Jumpers

A/N: Here’s a little something I came up with for @nolamc147. The request was for Jily Fluff and Jealous Snape. I hope I accomplished something you enjoy reading! 

The large, heavy-bound tome slammed down onto the table, startling Lily out of her focused studying of Transfiguration Through the Ages. She looked up, eyes wide with surprise, and met the cold glare of her former mate.

“I can’t believe you.” Severus Snape hissed, leaning closer to Lily.

Lily sat up straighter in her seat, pulling her face as far away from his as she could while still remaining in her seat. She refused to let him intimidate her.

“Well, I’m not sure what you can’t believe, but can you go about it somewhere else? I’m busy.”

“You’re just flaunting it about now, aren’t you?” Snape sneered, his eyes dropping to her chest. “You and Potter.”

Lily glanced down and registered exactly what jumper she had thrown on in her haste to get out of the common room so she could snag the best table in the library. There on her chest was the crest of Gryffindor—which was nothing special being that it was her house and all, however, underneath the embroidered crest were the golden stitches of thread that spelled out “CAPTAIN”. She had thrown on James’s Quidditch jumper, and Lily suddenly understood what Snape had meant about flaunting herself and James.

“I seem to be missing your point.” Lily said blandly, raising an eyebrow. 

Snape blanched, still, she could see the fury burning in his dark eyes. “You’re wearing his name, right there across your back for everyone to see.”

Lily glanced over her shoulder, pulling the sleeve so the back of the jumper was visible over her left shoulder. There was more gold thread embroidered into the burgundy material of the jumper, spelling out “POTTER” in big, bold letters.

“I suppose I am.” Lily smiled softly before turning back to Snape. “I don’t see what it matters to you, though. I thought you didn’t care about what mudbloods like me do?”

Snape flinched at the acid in her tone, though he didn’t back away. “You’re practically announcing to everyone that you’re shagging that prick.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Wearing a jumper doesn’t announce anything. Even if it did, it wouldn’t be any of your business, Snape.”

Over Snape’s shoulder, Lily could see the doors to the library opening and she craned her neck slightly to see who was entering the room. When she saw the familiar head of messy black hair, she couldn’t stop the bright smile from lighting up her face. She knew her cheeks were growing pink with the blush that always took residence on her face in the presence of James, but she didn’t care.

Snape watched the change in her features—saw her eyes go from cold and closed off while looking at him to shining with anticipation as a sweet blush covered her cheeks—and turned to see what had caught her attention.

Without looking back at him, Lily waved her hand dismissively. “Run along to your little Death Eater friends now. Don’t want to be seen with a dirty little muggleborn, now do we?”

“Bloody arrogant prick! And you,” Snape seethed. “You’ll see what a mistake you’re making, Lily. One day, you’ll realize that James Potter isn’t worth anything.”

Lily turned to him, her eyes burning as she glared at him. “James Potter is a better man that you will ever be. Now leave, and do not ever speak about James like that to me again. In fact, do not speak to me at all.”

She reached across the table and shoved the tome he had dropped—something about dark magic, unsurprisingly—closer to him. He snatched it up, shooting her one last scowl before turning on his heel and stalking off through the stacks of books.

When she looked back up, James was standing next to her chair, a slight frown on his face.

“What was that about?” he asked, looking at Lily with concern in his eyes.

“Snape didn’t think I was making an appropriate statement with my jumper.” She shrugged and smiled up at him, reaching out for his hand to pull him down beside her.

Before he sat, he peered around her and caught sight of his name printed boldly across her back. A grin spread across his face, lighting up his hazel eyes.

“You’re wearing my jumper.” Lily nodded. “You have my name, right there across your back.”

“Is there a problem with that?” Lily laughed, finally managing to tug him into the chair next to hers.

He ran a hand through his unruly hair, the smirk still lighting his features. “Not at all, Evans. You can wear my name anytime you want.”

“I keep that in mind.” Lily said, leaning over to kiss him lightly on the lips. Before she could pull away, however, James deepened the kiss, cupping her chin in his warm hands to hold her mouth to his own. A breathy sigh escaped from her lips as her eyes fluttered closed. Kissing James was something that would never get old.

Finally, James pulled back, a contented smirk on his charming face. “I brought you something, love.”

He gestured to a steaming mug sitting in the middle of the table. Lily grinned and pulled the mug towards her, raising it to her lips. She breathed in the rich aroma of her favorite tea—Earl Grey—and sighed contentedly.

“Just a splash of milk and one spoon of honey.” James said, watching as she took a sip of the warm liquid.

“Just how I like it.” Lily replied. “I didn’t know you knew how I take my tea.”

James ruffled his hair again and Lily noticed a hint of a blush coloring his neck. “I know a lot of things about you, love.”

Lily shifted in her seat, cupping the warm mug in her hands and kicking her feet up to rest in James’s lap. Her Transfiguration essay wasn’t due for another week, anyway.

“Oh yeah? Enlighten me then.”

James groaned, though he settled back into the chair and rested his hands on her legs, moving his fingers in lazy patterns across her jeans. Even through the fabric, Lily felt goosebumps rise on her skin from his touch.

“Oi.” He sighed, seeming resigned. “Well, for starters, I know that you prefer tea in the evenings and coffee with cream first thing in the morning. I know you’re not much of a morning person, but you’ll get up just to watch the sunrise. You bite your lip when you’re nervous or focused. When you’re really concentrating on something, you’ll wind a piece of your hair around your finger over and over again. I also know that even though you think its cliché, you love lilies. You also love rainstorms and crisp autumn days.”

He paused and Lily stared at James in awe, unsure of what to say.  He wouldn’t raise his gaze to meet hers, and chose instead to focus on the pattern his fingers were tracing up and down her thighs. Lily cleared her throat, trying to brush away the pressure she felt in her chest. James knew so much about her—all the little quirks and odd things she loved, he knew them all.

“Would you look at me?” Lily spoke softly as she leaned forward to catch his eye she placed her mug back onto the table beside her.

James finally looked up, his cheeks pink. “Bit of a git I am, huh? Making myself look like a stalker or something.”

“Just observant, I’d say.” She replied. “I think its rather sweet, you knowing so much about me.”

James rolled his eyes and chuckled, trying to brush it off. Lily dropped her feet to the ground and scooted her chair closer to his, cupping his face between both of her hands. Her green eyes were burning with emotion as they met his hazel ones with a gaze so fierce he couldn’t look away.

“I’m serious!”

“You’re not Sirius, you’re Lily.” James joked.

She rolled her eyes, dropping her hands into her lap. “Really, James. I think it’s sweet. And you aren’t the only one with stalker-ish qualities.”

His head shot up, eyes narrowing as he looked at her. “You’re just trying to make me feel less like a bloody sod.”

Lily shook her head, leaning back as she crossed her arms. As she spoke, she began ticking off her fingers, counting the jumble of facts that she knew about James Potter one by one.

“I know that you, despite your very British ancestry, despise tea. You prefer coffee, very black. I also know that read textbooks—particularly Transfiguration—for the fun of it. Every Hogsmeade trip you buy a boatload of chocolate for Remus and a bloody ridiculous amount of Zonko’s supplies for Sirius and Peter, just because. You like to get up early to fly around the Quidditch pitch before the sun comes up because it clears your head and you like the feel of the cold air on your face.”

Lily stopped, grinning at James as he looked at her in shock. “Told you, Potter.”

James shook his head, letting out a laugh. “I suppose you did, Evans.”

Lily sat up again, placing her hands on James’s knees and leaning so close to him that their lips were nearly touching.

“Bet I can tell you something you don’t know about me.” She whispered.

James swallowed. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Lily brushed her lips over his swiftly—too quickly for it to be an actual kiss, but slow enough to leave James wanting more. Her eyes never left his as she spoke.

“I fall more in love with you every day, James Potter.”

Almost before the words were completely out of her mouth, James’s lips were crushed against her own. His reaction to her words was heady, a rush of a feeling that left Lily with a tingle of anticipation all the way to her toes. She knew that she had never spoke truer words before. She, Lily Evans, was completely in love with James Potter.

Her hands found their way into the thick mess of his hair, fingers tightening in the strands as his hands gripped her waist and pulled her out of her chair and onto his lap. In the back of her head, she knew that they were not conducting themselves the way they should in the library, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away from James.

After what seemed like an eternity and much too short a time all at once, Lily pulled back and dropped back into her own seat, trying to smooth her hair back from her face and straighten her jumper—James’s jumper, really—while simultaneously looking around to see if anyone had seen them.

Luckily, the library was still fairly empty and the few younger students that sat around them didn’t seem to notice or care about the two of them.

“And Severus thought me wearing your jumper was flaunting our relationship.” She said, laughing.

When she looked back at James his whole face was lit up by his charmingly crooked grin. She shook her head and leaned against James, letting her head fall to rest on his shoulder. His arm came around her, pulling her as close to him as he could with their separate chairs.

“C’mon Evans, let’s hurry and get this Transfiguration essay over with so I can go snog you properly.” James said, kissing her lightly on the top of the head as he pulled the discarded text closer to them.

“Sounds like a plan, Potter.”

Two weeks later, when Lily and James got their essays back, they were not surprised to find that they had only gotten Acceptables, accompanied by a note in Professor McGonagall’s swooping writing at the top reading: For two of my top students, I found this essay to be rushed and hastily prepared. I expect to see a return to exemplary work next week.

James winked at Lily as he pointed to the note and mouthed “Worth it”. She laughed, nodding along with him. The snogging session that had cut short their work on their essays had definitely been worth it.  

 @petals-to-fish

[studyessie]

Queue the infamous locker jam scene. And queue the infamous everything falls out of locker scene.

Actually, no, don't do that. Why? Because in this masterpost I'll explain multiple methods of organization that you can choose to follow or even create hybrids of in order to keep your school year as organized as possible.

 -

MAIN ORGANIZATION SET UP:

1.       The "3 inch" Binder

Yes, the quotation marks are necessary. By the end of the year this binder won't feel like it's only three inches but a million. The point of this method is to keep ALL OF YOUR PAPERS in one place at all times. There are many people who always struggle with losing papers and not knowing where they went. If that's the case for you, then this is the perfect solution. Use a 3 inch binder to store all of the assignments of each class and you no longer have to worry about where your chemistry lab went or where you history essay walked off to. Many dislike this method due to how heavy the binder becomes, however it's completely worth it if you struggle with the problem I mentioned.

2.       Multiple Binders

If you enjoy binders and feel they help you to stay organized, go ahead and use this method. Many people will go ahead and use a binder for every class. The reason for this is that they for ahead and take the extra step of having a section within sections within sections. If you're an organization freak like me then go ahead and follow this method because I know I am. The only problem with this method is that there are going to be A LOT of binders so if you don't have the space or time to go back and forth to your locker I wouldn't suggest this for you.

3.       Accordion Folders

This is a similar method to the 3 inch binder. Have an accordion folder to keep all your papers in. The difference between this and the binder is the hole punch. However I do recommend the binder much more than this method because many resort to smashing their papers into the pockets which leaves a jumbled mess in the end. It's also a lot easier flipping through a binder than looking through an accordion folder. (Also I completely forgot the actual names of these things so don't go asking for accordion folders)

4.       Important Folder

Many people, including me, will have one folder to store any immediate papers that are important for that day or the following. This is a great addition to the 3 inch binder method because many times you won't want to take out the binder and instead something quick. Go ahead and use a folder if this is the case. However, just like every other method, there is always a downfall that you have to be aware about. Unless you are an extremely disciplined person and tell yourself to put away the files put in that folder every night, more likely than not you will end up having a bulky folder filled with papers from the previous month. Since this is the case, you need to be strict with yourself about how you use this folder and make sure to actually put those no longer important, or immediate papers away.

ADDITIONS:

·       Planner

Ahahaha you thought you'd get through this masterpost without seeing a planner? NOPE. Planners are essential to staying organized so if you refuse to use one and are really struggling with keeping your school life organized, THIS IS WHY. Utilize your planner in a way that's efficient for school. Write down all of your assignments and any specific events for EVERY CLASS. This is the most important part: even if that class didn't assign any homework, STILL WRITE SOMETHING. Many times I try to think back to what I did in a class from a couple weeks back. By that point, no one remembers anymore. That's why you should not only write down the homework, or "N/A" but also a quick bullet point/ gist of what you did in class.

·       Pencil Pouch(es)

Yes, this can even be plural. A pencil pouch is a necessity for school. Don't rely on the little pockets in your backpack because more than likely, that won't be enough and you won't ever actually put the writing utensils back in their original place. If one pencil pouch isn't enough to store all of your super cute and adorable stationery, then use two. I do. Don't be afraid to just have one for highlighters and another for pens and pencils.

·       Notepad

This is something you probably won't see in everyone's organization system. However, it truly helps. I find there's numerous times throughout the year where I need to create a quick list for whatever reason and absolutely despise having to use one whole sheet of paper in my notebook for something so small. Whether it be for an essay, a lab, the vocab list, or all of the un-motivational quotes on the walls, a notepad or to do list will do the trick.

LOCKERS:

For lockers, I always liked keeping mine simple. After 6th grade when I had all the sparkly crap and completely unnecessary carpet, I realized all it does is take up space. That's why I would only include the following for your locker organization:

·       Locker Shelf

This adds space that would have previously been unused. They make lockers really tall and slim but don't bother putting shelves already in there?? Having a shelf will give you that extra layer to store books and whatever else so it's definitely a good utility to keep in your locker! Here's something you should follow: you want your locker supplies to make space, not take up space.

·       Small storage container

I find that I always end up having all these small things floating around in my locker. These small objects just end up getting piled up in front of your textbooks and make it difficult to get to your notebooks, binders, books, etc. If you include a small storage box, you can put all of those things (notecards, extra pens, erasers, lead) in the container and viola! No more junk piled up in your locker.

That's it for lockers! Like I said, keep it simple. Your locker isn't your room or where you even spend most of your time in. No one is looking at how cute it is either. Truthfully I wouldn't even include a magnetic pencil holder as that takes up space and falls if it becomes too heavy. It'll become a hassle instead of a help.

BACKPACKS:

My only tip on how to keep your backpack tidy is to have a specific place for everything. Don't think too much on this and just put the supply in whatever place you think of first. If you make your system complicated you won't actually follow it and end up with a messy backpack. For example, laptop should go in the laptop sleeve (super simple), calculator in the front pouch and binders in the biggest/main part of the backpack.

 -

And that's all I have for school organization! I hope this helped in any way possible! It sorta became super long but ah well, there's a lot of information that I hope you all can utilize.

Question of the day: Is there anything in this list that you are definitely going to include in your school organization system this year?

Also! Don't forget to check out the rest of the series and what's to come HERE!

Ahh this series is almost at an end and truthfully I'm so surprised with myself for getting this far. I'm glad I've been able to help many of you!

-much love, studyessie ♡

[whichie]

Class Ghost Ch. 2

summary:

Shouto roams the halls of UA as a ghost, lost to who he was before and how he got to be who he is now.

Izuku feels like there's something missing from his life at UA, and he doesn't know what. But this ghost boy looks awfully familiar, and it's just not in him to let a poor soul wander forever without figuring out who murdered him first.

Together, they thwart bad guys and somehow fall in love along the way.(the ghost/murder mystery au that nobody asked for)

a/n: as always check out @dreamingoftheblackvoid because she’s amazing and helped a lot!! hope you enjoy

read it on a03

chapter 1

Shouto has started coming around to the idea that he’s dead, and to the idea that there is more to Izuku than meets the eye. What is it about him? He can't quite put his finger on it. He makes Shouto feel… more at home, he guesses. Izuku makes him feel like he isn't such an outcast. But why?

Why?

Shouto has taken to following Izuku around in order to figure out this mystery, and so far he’s come up with nothing. Izuku is an average kid, except for his powerful quirk that puts him at the top of the class, and Shouto can't think of how Izuku stands out to him so much.

Shouto is walking alongside Izuku after class, when Izuku spots Mina across the quad and yells out to her. “Hey, Mina, can I talk to you for a second?”

Mina jogs over and smiles. “Sure thing, what’s up?” 

Izuku fidgets for a moment before asking, “What do you know of the ghost?”

Shouto’s eyes widened in surprise, and he almost didn't catch what Mina said next, suspicious, “Why’re you so interested all of a sudden?”

Yeah, Shouto would like to know that too.

“No reason! I'm just curious, is all.”

She looked at him for a moment more, before letting it go and answering, “Well okay. They’re not malicious or anything, just some harmless object floating and whatnot. Oh! But there's a rumor going around saying the ghost will prank you hard if you’re an asshole.”

In Shouto’s defense, that was one time, and Bakugou had it coming for all of the screaming and explosions he was creating. So what if he had blue hair for the next week?

Izuku looks disappointed, to say the least, and waits for Mina to continue, but when she doesn't he asks, “Is that it?”

“Yeah, they don’t show up very often, so there’s not a lot to go on. Mostly they just wander around and leave people alone.”

Izuku sighs and frowns slightly. “Thanks, Mina.”

“No problem, I'm glad I could help!”

Mina continues on to wherever she was going, and Izuku walks to the dorms. Shouto wonders what that was all about as he watches Izuku mutter to himself, and he can't help but analyze all the things that have happened with Izuku in the last couple of days that warrant this kind of interest. All the other students know he’s there but they seem to take it at face value, not questioning why a ghost  is there in the first place. Except Izuku.

By the time they reach Izuku’s room, Shouto’s no closer to figuring out his motives, so he comes to the only logical conclusion. He’ll just have to ask Izuku himself.

How hard can it be?

.

.

.

Very hard, apparently. It seems in order to communicate with Izuku, he’ll have to move around objects to get his message across, since Izuku can’t hear him, but in order to do that he’ll have to be able to actually touch the objects.

Unlike Kaminari’s tray, and any other thing he’s picked up so far, he has to concentrate really hard to move anything in Izuku’s room. Shouto thinks it’s because there are less students of class 1-A around to cement him more into reality, but he can't be sure.

Izuku just continues to do homework on his bed, and after five more minutes of arduous concentration, Shouto decides to take a break. He instead sits on the floor next the the bed and takes a good look around the room for the first time since walking in.

Almost the entirety of the walls are covered in posters, newspaper clippings, and pieces of lined paper covered in analyses of various heroes. None more so than All Might, who Shouto recognizes from the afternoon hero classes he often sits in on. He knew Izuku admired All Might, it’s hard not to, but he didn't realize by how much.

It kind of adorable.

That thought felt familiar, like a deja vu sort of thing, and he wonders why. This whole scene feels familiar, too, like he’s gazed around this room and thought those same things already—

 A shifting around in Shouto’s peripheral takes his eyes away from the walls and to Izuku standing up and starting to undress out of his school uniform. Shouto takes this as his cue to leave, and resolves to try harder to talk to this strange boy that seemed familiar.

.

.

.

Shouto tries again the next day in class. He sits in the empty seat he normally sits in and thinks about how he can get something to move. He thinks it has something to do with these kids, but he can't be too sure. Maybe it’s not their presence, but their familiarity? He doesn't remember how he touched those other objects, as he is never able to remember somethings for long, but he always feels better when he’s with them. Maybe focusing on the feeling they give him will help? It’s always worth a shot.

He gets up from his chair and walks to the nearest desk with a pencil, which happened to be Sero, and he closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath and listens to the familiar (so, so familiar. why?) noise of the class talking and joking around. He latches on to that familiarity, and opens his eyes to take hold of the pencil. Miraculously, it works.

Kirishima notices and says, “Sero, dude, your pencil is floating!”

Sero turns around and also notices. He stands up and stares at his pencil with confusion, then his eyes light up. “It’s the ghost!”

Everyone gets up and crowds around Shouto, trying to get a good view. He doesn't really mind, it just makes it harder to find a piece of paper he can write on. He sees Kaminari’s notebook on his desk and walks over, not missing the way the rest of the class backs out of his way. He doesn't think they’re scared of him, but he never knows, a ghost tends to be something people are afraid of.

When he reaches the notebook, he flips it open and ignores Kaminari’s affronted, “Hey, what’s it doing with my stuff?” before Jirou knocks him in the head to be quiet.

Shouto flips to an empty page and puts the pencil to the paper, preparing to write his message, when he suddenly stops. It’s weird, but he finds that the words jumble up in his mind, and when he tries to write it out anyways, he sees nothing but meaningless scribbles on the paper.

Shouto wanted to throw the pencil across the room. Why is he like this? Why can't he remember how to write, he can read can't he? Can he? Shouto doesn't remember learning to read, but that's not saying much because he can't remember anything.

Shouto turns around to see Izuku looking at the pencil quizzically, and a quick sweep of the room shows everyone else confused, too. He doesn't blame them, it’s not their fault he’s broken. He can't communicate at all with them except move things around. How pathetic.

He puts the pencil down and leaves the classroom. He doesn't want to be there anymore, but he wasn't fast enough to miss how Yaoyorozu asks, “Is that it?”

.

.

.

Is that it?

Is that it?

Is that it?

The words follow him outside, and Shouto can't get them out of his head. He was just giving up? Somehow that doesn't feel like something he would have done before (before what?). Giving up feels wrong, like there's something more—something bigger—at stake than his loneliness.

He now knows how he can interact with things, rather than leaving it up to random chance that it works, but there seems to be another obstacle. He can't seem to remember enough to write out his message.

He goes back to Izuku’s room because he has nowhere else to go besides the classroom, and that was off the table. He only spared a thought to how he might be invading Izuku’s privacy to be in his room without his knowledge, before pushing it aside and sitting on the bed.

He looks at the poster of All Might staring back at him above Izuku’s dresser, when he starts to feel more… at peace. Like he does when he’s with 1-A. He remembers briefly feeling this when he was in Izuku’s room the day before, but Shouto guesses he was interrupted before he could fully realize it.

In a fit of desperation to get his message out before this feeling goes away, he scrambles for a loose piece of paper, and looking through a drawer, a pen. He hovers over the paper for a second, debating what he should write. Maybe introduce himself? No, Izuku won't know the significance of who was writing it, and may just think it was someone else.

He just needs time to explain himself. Maybe he should wait until Izuku gets back from class. Wait, that might come off as a little creepy. So somewhere else then, maybe the lounge would work.

With that in mind, he focuses on the words, and in a shaking, messy scrawl he writes. It takes him a lot longer than he thinks it should have taken to write one sentence, but in the end it’s legible enough.

Setting it on the bed so that he’s sure Izuku will notice, he heads to the lounge.

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Izuku noticed the ghost has been very active lately, and he wants to know why. He thinks about all of the things he would ask this ghost if he had the chance, and finds most of them very rude. So he throws away that mental list and pulls up another one.

The What-Should-I-Do-About-This-Weird-Feeling-I’m-Getting list. So far, it's empty.

He sighs and walks up the stairs to his room, and when he was halfway down the hallway he stopped. He feels it now, that sensation that something is missing, and he looks around him to see nobody and nothing around him. Just the empty hallway. He decides to ignore it and review it later, he doesn't really have the energy right now to think about it.

When he gets to his room he sat his backpack down by his desk and started walking towards his dresser to change into his pajamas, but not before noticing a loose piece of paper on his bed. Izuku looks at it suspiciously, because it's not everyday that things in your room just up and move by itself, before he takes a closer look to see a sentence messily scrawled onto the first page.

Please come down to the lounge

- The ghost

Okay, honestly, this was not what he was expecting. Well, not that he was expecting much, but if he was, this sure isn’t it.

He doesn't see why he shouldn't, though. It's not as if the ghost plans to hurt him, so if he wants to talk then he’ll talk. That was what he wanted, anyways, to get some answers out of him.

He walks down to the lounge and stops when he reaches the bottom of the stairs, seeing the empty room, but that wasn't saying much since the ghost was, well, a ghost.

“Are you in here,” he paused for a second, then tacked on, “Ghost-san?” Izuku felt foolish talking to thin air, but then saw a stack of papers floating above the couch wiggle around, presumably to get his attention. He walked over to the couch and sat down, looking at what he hopes is the ghost's head, but he isn't quite sure. There was one question rising above all the rest crowding his brain that he was dying to ask. “Why do you want to talk to me?”

Izuku watched as a pen he didn't notice before— he’s pretty sure it's his — started to write. It was slow, and the result was something akin to a child's handwriting, but he could just make out the words.

You were asking around about me

Huh, he wonders how the ghost knew about his little chat with Mina, but then remembered that the ghost could go anywhere in the school, so they might have heard about it from someone.

“Okay, yeah that’s true. So…” he thought about the least upsetting and personal question he can ask, and remembered that he was just calling the ghost…. ghost. “What’s your name?”

It was another minute or so of slow writing, but then the ghost turned the paper around to show his answer.

Shouto

This is good, progress. He now knows his name now, Shouto. That names seems familiar, though… “Do I know you? Your name rings a bell.”

Shouto started writing again, and this time it takes less time than it did before.

I was going to ask you the same thing

Interesting. He’ll take that as a no.

“Can you become visible, so that I can see you?”

Sorry, I don't know how

Izuku tried to think of any other questions, but found it very hard to hold a conversation with an invisible person. “Hold on a second.” He got up and searched around the room until he found a discarded blanket on one of the chairs, came back, and threw it over top of where he thinks Shouto would be.

The result was what looked like a person just hanging out under a blanket, and Izuku found this much better than guessing where his eyes are. Shouto lifted his hands up to his face, then wrote something down.

Good idea, I should have thought of it sooner

Izuku laughed when he read it, and asked, “I assume you also don't know how to speak, the same way you don't know how to reveal yourself?” The blanket nodded it's head in confirmation. “Hmm, well then, another thing I'm wondering is why you're here. What business does a ghost have at UA?”

I don't remember anything, you and the rest of class 1-A remind me of something, but I don't know what it is

Izuku could see the frustration Shouto is feeling when he wrote it down, and decided to steer clear of that subject. “Well, Shouto, it's nice to meet you. I'm Izuku Midoriya, if you didn't know already.” He held his hand out for Shouto to shake, and when he did he noticed it felt almost ice cold.

They started talking about other things, like life at UA and the kids of 1-A. It turns out Shouto is really interested to know everything about them, and as the night wore on, his handwriting got better and better, until it became a neat script that was much easier to read than what it started out as.

When it was nearing 1 in the morning, Izuku regretfully informed Shouto that he has to wake up early for class tomorrow, “Must be nice not to need to sleep,” Izuku joked, and both boys went their separate ways, with a lot more to think about now.