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#so they see someone easily do that n they think 'oh this person just hates this thing' bc they can only talk shit abt things they dont like
lightbulb-warning · 1 month
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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cat-soap-opera · 2 years
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i think that everyone who says something like “if all your warrior cat posts are hating on the series, maybe you should just leave n find another fandom you actually enjoy” fail to consider that some of us bitch for recreational purposes
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ponderingmoonlight · 1 month
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Meeting your ex jjk boyfriend again after your breakup
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Pairings: Gojo x fem!reader; Toji x fem!reader
Word Count: 3,1 k
Warnings: cheating in gojo's part, overwhelming emotions in every part lol
Well that escalated quickly. If you want a part two with Geto, Sukuna, Chose and/or someone else let me know 🤍
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Gojo Satoru
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You hate to be here. Just the thought of seeing his face again makes your guts turn. When was the last time you encountered each other?
When he was with her.
“Don’t panic, I’m here with you. Remember?”, Utahime mutters into your ear while walking up those cursed steps towards jujutsu high.
“I thought I’d never have to see that jerk’s face again…”
“Well, not when you’re the second strongest. Don’t let that idiot ruin your mood.”
You sign to yourself, gaze drifting over your beloved students.
When you found out your long-term boyfriend Gojo Satoru cheated on you with none other than Mei Mei, you dropped out of Tokyo Jujutsu High immediately. It was Utahime who took you under her wing and made you the teacher you are today – at Kyoto High.
Those past two years, you really managed to stay away from him. After changing your phone number countless times, after searching day and night for a place to live that he won’t find so easily, you finally lived in peace. Far away from the pain he caused, well distracted from your still messed-up feelings.
But now you’re back. And you will be forced to meet that prick.
“There they come”, Nobara mutters while her gaze drifts over every person that comes into frame.
“Hey, who’s that woman over there?”
“That’s (y/n), a former student here at Jujutsu High. She attended the same class as Gojo-sensei. Right now, she’s working as a teacher at Kyoto High”, Megumi explains briefly.
“Former? Why isn’t she here anymore? I’d love to borrow those boots from here. Damn, that outfit really rocks…”
“There have been some…incidents with Gojo-sensei…”
Nobara’s eyes widen in pure curiosity, her eyes scanning you up and down.
“Her, with that white-haired idiot?”
“What are my lovely students talking about?”
Megumi rolls his eyes out of instinct when the tall man comes to a stand behind them.
“Oh look, the students from Kyoto High arrives with their tea-“
His breath gets stuck in your throat when your eyes make contact with his. How long has it been since he last saw you?
You look…flawless. Your hair a little longer than in his imagination, your body well-built by the countless training hours you might have spent over there at Kyoto High.
But your cold gaze is still the same as on that fateful day that still repeats itself over and over inside his head.
Fuck.
“Look who’s there”, he jeers from afar.
You feel like vomiting all over the floor. Were you really dumb enough to think your feelings just disappeared into thin air? You force your eyes away from him and to stare at his students instead. You just need to get those few days over with. Only those couple hours and you’ll get away with not seeing him for another 2 years.
“Shut up, Gojo”, Utahime warns him next to you.
“It’s nice to see you’re still as weak as before, Utahime! I wonder if you’re still crying all the time-“
"Funny, Gojo. It's nice to see your arrogance is still compensating for your insecurities. Some things never change."
The air around you freezes when those words leave your mouth, everyone around you going silent in an instant. It’s only you and him. Him with that suddenly so hardened expression, you with eyes that spit venom his way.  
“Why don’t you save your breath for someone who cares and just leave us alone until the competition starts?”
"Touché. But if you're going to psychoanalyze me, how about we do it somewhere private? We have some catching up to do."
There it is again. That cheeky smile you know painfully well, the way he tilts his head to the side oh so playfully. Your heart wrenches, bleeds out like it did on that day you saw him.
In Mei Mei’s bedroom.
While she was naked.
“I’d rather die, asshole.”
Without gifting him another look you storm away. Towards the main building, as far away as possible without anyone being able to follow you.
Fuck, you swore to yourself you are over this shit. You shouldn’t care about him, shouldn’t even feel bothered by looking at him anymore. Only one glance at him and you’re completely losing it? You thought you were better than this, stronger than you were two years ago. But apparently, nothing changed. You’re still crying over someone who betrayed you in the nastiest way possible.
A gentle grasp on your wrist rips you out of your nightmares and catapults you in an even worse one.
“Let go of me”, you hiss through gritted teeth when his bright blue eyes meet yours.
"I definitely won’t make that mistake again. You can run all you want, but you know we need to talk. You can’t keep avoiding this... or me.”
You yank your wrist away with full force when something inside you snaps.
"Talk? About what, Gojo? How you always think you can just waltz back into my life whenever it suits you? I’m done with your games."
„Stop calling me Gojo like we’re strangers. Just hear me out-“
"Strangers? That’s what we are now, Gojo. Whatever we had, it’s over. You don’t get to decide when I listen to you."
Fuck, you hate the way tears start to burn in your eyes, how his sheer presence shakes you right to your core. Truth is, you never stopped loving him. Not even when he abused your trust like he did, not even when you caught him with Mei Mei that day. Until now, your stupid heart didn’t get the message, still clings onto him for dear life.
And it hurts like hell.
Gojo takes a deep breath in and takes a step towards you.
"Please, just listen. That night - it wasn’t what you think. I was trying to protect you, but I messed up by keeping you in the dark. I would never betray you like that. You have to believe me."
"Protect me? I saw you in Mei Mei’s room. If that wasn’t what it looked like, then explain why you were there. Don’t expect me to just forget what I saw and the way it made me feel. As if your fucking words mean everything!"
You lose it completely, your composure, those rough years of keeping you together. In that second, you lose yourself.
“That night she called me because she told me about a special grade curse that was hunting after you. I entered her room just seconds before you stumbled in. If I had known this, that she only tries to entertain herself with spreading that fucking misunderstanding between us, I would have never-“
“Have you any idea how I felt that day? You…You were my life, Satoru! I would have died for you! And you didn’t even care enough to follow me!”, you now cry out seething with emotion
“I thought I was doing the right thing!”, he shouts so roughly that you flinch.  
“I thought you needed space, that we’ll talk things out when you didn’t respond countless times. I never thought…that you’d actually believe I was cheating on you! You meant everything to me too, and the thought of losing you, of not even knowing where you were, has been killing me. I’m so sorry for not chasing after you. Until this day, there’s nothing I regret more than giving you space in that fucking moment, I should have fought harder to make things right. Fuck, I missed you every single day since you were gone and it kills me, it fucking kills me I can’t call you mine anymore!”
Are those…tears glistening in his eyes. Is that really Gojo Satoru, standing in front of you, crying?
“Seeing you like this… I don’t know if it makes things better or just harder. Maybe you’re genuinely sorry, but the pain you caused me is real. It’s not something that can be fixed with words or tears alone…”
“Just one kiss.”
He draws closer, the heat of his body paired with his signature perfume now so close that you feel like fainting for a second.
“Give me one kiss and I’ll leave you alone.”
“A kiss?”, you breathe out.
His lips haunted you in your dreams frequently, how they felt pressed against yours and comforted you through everything. You hated how your mind always remembered you of what you’ve lost.
Those kissable lips, that mouth that never failed to make you smile.
But now…a kiss?
"Just one kiss, to remember what we had, to see if there’s still something between us. If it doesn’t change anything, I’ll walk away and give you all the space you need. But if there’s even a spark left… I need to know."
Your mind races as you consider his request with a wave of feelings rushing over you like a tsunami. Memories of your shared moments flood back, the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of his touch, and the sweetness of his kisses that used to light up your whole fucking world. But what if he hurts you again? What if all those words are nothing but a filthy little lie to play with you all over?
Your heart pounds while you close your eyes briefly, trying to push through the pain and the intensity of the situation. The idea of that one kiss, despite everything, pulls at your heartstrings. That moment of vulnerability and a chance to confront what’s been haunting her dreams, close enough to touch and feel...
Finally, you open your eyes and nod slowly, your voice barely a whisper.
"One kiss."
Gojo’s eyes soften with a mix of relief and hope as he leans in, his breath warm against your oversensitive and touch-starved skin. His lips meet yours with a gentle, hesitant touch. A bittersweet mixture of longing, regret, and a lingering affection that speaks of all both of you once shared, the feelings that still rise from the ashes between both of you – feelings that never really disappeared. Truth is, you never really stopped loving Gojo Satoru. Even if he shattered your heart into thousands of pieces, even if your heart still aches, you can’t escape his gravity.
Out of instinct, you wrap your longing arms around his neck like you always did, press your body even closer against his. Only that one touch, that one kiss in order to feel that he lied.
But instead, the taste his falling tears on your tongue, feel his desperate hands on your waist. Did…Gojo Satoru miss you as well?
As your lips part, a tear slips down both of your cheeks while heavy breathing fills the cramped room between you.
"From the moment you left, I’ve been lost without you. I thought I could move on, but every day without you has been unbearable. I missed you more than I ever thought possible. I’ve been living in a world where everything reminds me of what we had and what I threw away by not following you that night. I never stopped loving you, not for a single fucking day.
I know I’ve made mistakes and I’ve hurt you in ways I can never fully make up for. But standing here now, feeling your arms around me and knowing that you still care... it’s more than I deserve. I love you, and I’ve always loved you. If there’s any chance for us to rebuild what we had, I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I need you to know that my feelings for you have never faded, and they never will.”
You look at him with a mix of longing and hope, your eyes silently asking for what you’re yearning for.
"One more kiss," you whisper,
"just to see if it’s real.”
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Toji Fushiguro
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Your eyes are focus on the glittery liquid that swirls around in your glass, too focused on the play of color to even listen to that jerk opposite of you.
“(y/n), are you even listening to me?”
“Of course, go on”, you mutter through your hand without even looking up.
To be honest, your dating life has been a mess since that one guy. Dates each and every night, nameless men who cling onto your rock bottom for dear life. Getting showered by meaningless compliment that are supposed to drag you into their beds, the bitter taste of gammahydroxybutyricacid on a regular basis.
Just like now. Liquid ecstasy.
You raise your eyebrows, allow yourself a glimpse at that muscular guy with a face that looks like out of every plastic surgeons dream and that fake rolex around his wrist. As if you’d be dumb enough to actually swallow that shit. But on the other hand, you might as well wait until he spent all his money for you in that way too expensive restaurant before leaving him standing in the rain.
“You have to be the prettiest woman I’ve even seen”, he jeers while grabbing your hand.
You force down that wave of puke that threatens to take you over and put on the sweetest smile you have to offer.
What a loser, honestly. Not even able to read a woman properly.
But none of the men you’ve met since him were.
“Aren’t you thirsty? Don’t you like your drink?”
Yeah, like you’re dumb enough to drink that shit.
“I’d actually like to eat something before drinking. Otherwise, I’m drunk immediately”, you give back oh so innocently.
He lets out a disgusting laughter, his hungry eyes almost pilling you out of your skintight dress. Well, that’s what you get for going on a date with someone who calls himself selfmade CEO of something that has to be another lousy pyramid scheme.
Let’s get this over with.
Your eyes dart around the room aimlessly in order to find a way to escape later on. Unfortunately, the toilets don’t provide a window and as it seems, you won’t be able to escape that main hall. Screw those fancy restaurants and their high alert.
It’s a feeling that crawls up your spine so suddenly that your head yanks to the right out of instinct.
Cold eyes. That scar on the corner of his mouth that flinches when he catches you staring at him.
So familiar cold eyes that you feel like fainting for a second.
It can’t be him, it’s impossible that it’s him-
“Toji?”, you breathe out.
You haven’t seen him since that day.
Since the two of you broke up.
You swore to yourself to never see that man again, moved to Tokyo on order to get lost in the crowd, went on countless dates to fuck his face out of your mind.
But as soon as your eyes land on him, your guts twist just like they did before, a wave of fright washing over your usual so broad back.
“I need to go”, you mutter, not even caring about that douchebag on the other side of the table anymore.
You need to get out of here, need to hide in some lonely corner, need to move to another city. Or another country? It seems like he’ll always find you, no matter where you go.
The cold air of the night hits your face like a wall as you stumble out of the restaurant. Where are you supposed to go? Aimlessly, you haste through the next alley, eyes darting behind you as if you’re haunted.
That toxic fucker, that crazy man who apparently didn’t accept your breakup at all. Toji is no one to be messed with, a maniac when it comes to his toys.
And you are one of those toys. Well, you hope you were.
“Think you can escape me like that?”
The next second, you find yourself pinned against a wall with no way out.
“Let go of me, you freak”, you press out, not even daring to look up at him.
Fuck, you’re absolutely screwed. There’s no way you’ll get out of here like you did last time.
“Is that how you greet the love of your life, huh?”
He grabs your cheek firmly and forces your head towards his.
There they are, those dangerous eyes. Up close, in their full glory.
You feel like puking.
“I don’t love you anymore. You treated me like shit.”
That’s what you told yourself over and over again, literally tattooed on your heart. You can’t love a guy like him, he’ll never give you what you need and want.
“So you’re telling me that guy who wanted to fuck after your blackout is better? Can’t tell me you didn’t notice that loser put something in your drink.”
“It’s none of your business”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
“Everything that has to do with you is my business, babe. You did a good job hiding from me for a few months. But you can’t escape me”, he mutters against your ear.
His hot breath against your naked and oversensitive skin almost sends you over the edge, forces that knot inside your stomach to start pulsating all over again.
That fucker who knows your body so well. That asshole who plays with your feeling all over again.
“We’ve broke up”, you remind him with unsteady gaze.
“So you have no feelings for me? Hate me? Just because I killed that guy-“
“You killed so many people that I lost count. I can’t do this!”, you blurt out.
“But do you love me?”
Your heart almost pounds out of your chest, sweat now covering your forehead only by looking at him. So many nights, you’ve drank enough to forget your own name.
But you never forgot his.
“Doesn’t matter…”
“So you do.”
Before you’re even able to protest, he lifts you up and cages you against the wall. And your lousy traitor of a body? Wraps your legs around his waist as if none of this ever happened.
“I’ll make it up to you, princess”, he mumbles into the crook of your neck, now placing gentle kisses on your bare skin.
You want to tell him to stop, want to yank your body out of his demanding grasp.
But instead, you let your head fall back and close your eyes.
Fuck, you missed this. You missed him.
“And don’t ya dare to run away from me again. You’re mine.”
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wannaeatramyeon · 3 months
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Lookism: "If you die tomorrow, would you have any regrets?"
G/N. Jake, Goo, Gun, DG, Ryuhei, Sammy. Reminder that Gun is canonically a gamer lmao.
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Jake looks up at you in surprise, the morbid question catching him off guard.
"Why?" he asks, tilting his head.
"It was just a question I read."
"Hmm," Jake rubs at his chin and gazes off somewhere in the distance, no doubt thinking about all that has happened in his life. "Yeah. Loads."
Oh. You weren't expecting that-
"A lot of things I've made my peace with," Jake shrugs and you know he means Sinu and Samuel and Big Deal.
The mess with Workers, the falling out with Samuel and end of the Golden Era, the arrest of so many of his crew. He knows his mom is disappointed that he is so much like his father, his time in juvie, and Jake thinks if he tried better in school instead of fighting then maybe things would have worked out a lot differently.
"But-" he tugs on your hand, pulling you off-balance and falling straight into his lap.
"I'd regret not spending more time with you. All the time trying to be a good boss rather than a good boyfriend."
You open your mouth to argue that he is a good boyfriend but he continues on-
"I'd regret leaving you on your own. Even though I know you'd find someone easily," And Jake manages a small wistful smile, "I'd regret not being there for you."
.
.
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"Me?" Goo blinks, looking up from his manga.
"Yes, you. The only other person here."
"Just checking, Cupcake." Goo thinks briefly for a moment before making up his mind.
"I'll regret not seeing how this manga ends," then he narrows his eyes, stabbing angrily at the page, "And not going to Japan to hunt down this asshole for killing my fave off-screen."
"Goo!" Maybe this is on you for expecting a serious answer.
He gets up and makes his way to you, peppers kisses all over your face as you roll your eyes. "You're not planning on killing me are you, Sweetheart?"
"Yes. Tonight. There's a knife under my pillow."
"Make sure you don't wake me, do it quick," he grins mischievously then-
An unpleasant thought pops up and he pulls a face. "Once I'm dead, you better not fall in love with anyone else. My ghost will haunt you, y'know."
"Fine, I'll just be sad and alone and mourning over you forever."
"Perfect!"
But what would Goo actually regret?
What's the saying? You can't take it with you.
Goo has such fun plans once he retires from all this crew shit. Neither of you have to work another day again, you can just spend the rest of your lives terrorising the general public instead. Travelling the world, swimming in a pool of money together, sleeping on a bed of cash. All that fun stuff.
Goo doesn't regret the time amassing his fortune, his little safety net for the future. But if he was to die tomorrow, he would regret not having that future with you.
.
.
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Gun pauses the video game at your question, then turns to you with a brow arched, "Why do you think I'm going to die?"
"It's hypothetical. Like in a fight or something."
An arrogant smile spreads, "And who's strong enough to kill me?"
You click your tongue in annoyance at his response although you hate to admit that damn, you find his attitude sexy as hell. There's just something about him being able to back up his confidence with his skills and talent.
"Just answer my question!"
"No I would not have any regrets," he says, already turning back and resuming his game.
Of course Gun doesn't. As if someone like him would have any regrets.
Eyes still on the screen and fingers clicking on the controller, Gun adds quietly. "But you will be taken care of."
Oh.
If Gun were to die tomorrow, he would regret not being able to take care of you. Being by your side. In his line of work, it is always a possibility no matter how strong he is. The least he could do, and has done, is make sure that at least no harm or hardships befalls you after he is gone.
Money, protection, freedom. If he can't have a future, then he will assure yours.
.
.
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DG falters mid-stride, giving it the briefest of thoughts before coming to a conclusion.
"Nope," he says with a cocky smirk.
He has very little to regret. His life as DG is what most people dream of. Fame and fortune, power and influence.
As James Lee he has proven he's the strongest, he's the peak and untouchable.
There's very little left for him to accomplish. Why would he have any regrets?
But, he supposes, as he is later handled by the assistants and the stylists, then plasters on a fake smile for TV appearances before being ushered to some event full of schmoozers and fakers and having to make small talk as DG, the idol and CEO-
Is that maybe if he could do it again, he would choose something with more privacy. More freedom. That he could do what he wants, whenever he wants.
And most importantly-
That he can walk hand in hand with you down the street without rabid fans screaming and the paparazzi photos making headlines.
Without you being on the receiving end of death threats and unhinged letters, and his agent and company telling him that he needs to apologize for his relationship. Backtrack it. Single idols sells better, appeals to the public more.
If DG died tomorrow, he thinks that actually he would regret this. He regrets keeping you in the shadows.
.
.
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Ryuhei doesn't hesitate and tells you he wishes you were his first. For everything.
Even hand holding. Even hugs.
You pull a face at that.
"That's... Sweet." You say, lying through your teeth as Ryuhei looks at you with concerned puppy eyes.
"You wish the same, right?"
"Sure," you agree because where's the harm in appeasing this goofball.
In truth, and Ryuhei hates thinking about it, is that he does desperately wish that he met you first. Before Mitsuki, before anyone else.
Nevermind that it's a completely futile, fanciful dream because everything that has happened has led him to you.
But he thinks it would have worked out better. He could have been a better person, a better boyfriend. If he met you before he had a chance to develop his sex pest tendencies and obsessive behaviour that you had to stamp out.
It's pointless though. Not even worth dwelling on. What has happened has happened and he could only try to be better now.
Ryuhei considers the question again with a sigh. If he dies tomorrow, what would he regret?
Oh yeah! He would absolutely regret this!
"I'd regret that we can't bang anymore!"
"Ryuhei!"
.
.
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Samuel immediately feels defensive at your question.
He thinks about what he hasn't yet achieved. All his dreams of becoming King, being at the top, and yet he's no closer.
"Why?" he asks, eyes starting to narrow behind his glasses.
You hold up both palms, in a gesture to indicate you didn't mean anything by it and your face tells him to just chill.
"I dunno. I found it and thought it was an interesting question."
"It's not." Samuel says, effectively ending the conversation and eyes dipping back down to his phone.
But it doesn't just end.
Samuel spirals and doesn't talk to you for the rest of the day, his shortcomings haunting him instead.
He drinks and he smokes and he spends even more time at work, trying to dull the ache of his inferiority.
The mornings and nights pass by in a blur, a string of toxic behaviours and self sabotage, until eventually - he comes to.
His failures and faults pushed to the back of his mind, rather than a constant reminder.
Then like a fog clearing, he finds clarity again. He sees your face, the worry, the trepidation... The guilt for asking an innocent question.
And Samuel knows that his biggest regret of all if he dies tomorrow is that you deserved better and he hasn't been able to give that to you.
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mingigoo · 1 year
Note
hi sie!! i'm happy to see that your requests are open and would like to request something myself c: 1. seonghwa 2. roommate au 3. prompts 11 and 17 4. with spice please 🙏 thanks so much! i rly appreciate you and your writing even if you can't get to this 💕
I hope you like this!!! really enjoyed writing this one :)
— sleep-talker || p.sh (m.)
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“You know you sleep talk?” 
“Stop looking at me like that.
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🌊pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x roommate! Seonghwa
🌊 summary ⇢ when you and your friends decide on a trip to the beach for spring break, you get stuck rooming with the man you "hate" the most. The line between love and hate is as thin as ice, and you were about to break it.
🌊 genre/au ⇢ roommates au, vacation au, one bed trope, forced proximity au, smut
🌊 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, wet dreams, fingering, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, PDA, "enemies" to lovers, one-bed trope, teasing, jealousy, intense tension like holy hell
🌊 word count ⇢ 10.2k words
🌊 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yesv01 @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @yukine-smx @y00nzin0 @8tinytings @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts (please let me know if I forgot you!)
masterlist
ateez masterlist
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“Are you for real right now?”
Spring break. A time for rest, relaxation, and lots and lots of sex.
And now, your plans of being a whore for the vacation were ruined.
“Yes, y/n. I can't afford another room just for you to have to yourself,” Hongjoong, your older brother, mumbled as he stuffed the last bit of clothes into his luggage. “You’ll have to room with Seonghwa. San and Wooyoung already called each other.”
He zipped up his suitcase and stood up to leave, but he couldn't get off that easily. “Please, Joong. I’ll do anything. Cant I just room with you and Mingi?” he hastily made his way out of his room and into the living room, trying his hardest to get away from you. “I’ll sleep on the floor. No blanket, just the floor. Please.”
He turned to face you, a confused expression on his face. “Why are you so adamant about not staying with Hwa? What did he ever do to you?” he asked you, genuinely curious. The truth is, he did nothing to you personally. Maybe that was why you hated him, because god, if he gave you the time of day, you would pounce on him like a cat in heat.
You groaned, running a hand through your messy, unwashed hair. “Because he’s a dumb ass jerk that gets everything he wants.” 
Hongjoong laughed at you and turned away. “It's only a week, y/n. He’ll probably spend most of his time in our room, anyway. Just bring a book to read or something to distract yourself.”
As if reading is the thing you'll be focused on if you were in a room with him. Oh Nah, you'll be wishing he’d walk around shirtless and hoping he somehow takes a shower and walks out with nothing on—
“I hope you're packed and ready….” Joong trailed off as he looked at your messy exterior, and stifled a laugh. “And if you're thinking of getting laid, you might want to shower.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, having no drive to shower. You'll get one when you get there. It's not like you were that stinky.
“Shut up, dickhead.”
You stood on the sidewalk of your apartment building, Hongjoong’s little yellow Geo Tracker sitting there lookin’ all cute. However, the tiny thing only had five seats.
There were six of you.
“Welp looks like I can't go! What a shame, what a shame,” you sarcastically yelled out, tossing your hands in the air exasperatedly.  “Have fun without me!”
“Shut your mouth, will you?” Hongjoong groaned, tossing your luggage into the “trunk” or whatever it was. “It's only a ride to the airport. You can sit on someone’s lap for ten minutes.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why am I the one that has to do that? Wooyoung is like the size of my arm. He can do it.”
Joong shut the trunk with force at your comment, totally disregarding you. “Hop in,” he said. “Enjoy shotgun while you have the chance.”
You got in reluctantly, even though you were very excited about the beach itself. Your excitement was short-lived as you approached the devil’s lair.
“Stay here, I’ll go help them,” Hongjoong mumbled, pushing his sunglasses up on his forehead as he put the car in park. 
You nodded, your arms crossed over your chest. You didn't mind the rest of the group— San and Wooyoung always knew how to make you laugh, and Mingi was absolutely eye candy. You wouldn't mind sitting on his lap on the way to the airport.
Just as you got comfortable with your head resting against the window, the door abruptly opened, causing you to nearly fall out of the vehicle. “For fuck’s sake, who the hell—” your words got caught in your throat as you met eyes with Park fucking Seonghwa. “Oh, it's you…”
He stood there, his thin torso draped in a sheer white top and his long, lean legs covered in a pair of black pants. You swallowed your drool like a schoolgirl, making sure he never knows how you think of him.
“What?” you raised your eyebrow, not moving an inch and not even reaching to unplug your seatbelt. “This seat’s taken, buddy.”
He snickered, his lips mockingly curled up in a sneer. “Oh, aren't you a sweetheart? Now move, I called shotgun.”
“Well, I did first.”
“No, you didn't.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No.”
“Yes—”
“Neither of you are getting shotgun,” your brother laughed from behind Seonghwa, San and Wooyoung giggling like the goofs they are next to him. You still didn't move, even as Joong approached and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. “Y/N, please help me out here.”
You debated on throwing a fit, but knowing that it would just cause more problems, you sighed and pushed yourself out of the front seat. Now standing on the curb of the sidewalk right in front of Seonghwa, you tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. His gaze was intense—it made you envision what it would be like in bed, looking down at him from above, and how his eyebrows would knit together in pleasure. God, you needed to get laid this vacation, or you were going to be suffering from delusions.
Without warning, Mingi pushed through both of you, interrupting your staring contest.
“We better go, I don't want to listen to their bickering any longer,” the tall boy huffed as he plopped himself in the front seat, a proud smile resting on his lips. 
San sat in the backseat on the right, Wooyoung next to him in the middle. That left either you or seonghwa to fight to the death for that last seat, but you knew how this was going to end.
And it wasn't going to end well.
“You comfortable, y/n?” your brother called from the driver’s seat, looking back at you through the rearview mirror.
You frowned so deeply you could've sworn your face was permanently stuck like that.
There you were, in the back of the car, in the most uncomfortable seat ever. Seonghwa groaned underneath you, his bony body not offering you any wiggle room. You didn't answer your brother, you were certain your expression was enough of a response.
You adjusted yourself on Seonghwa’s lap, looking out the window for any distraction. As you moved, you felt him move his hips, and you had to shut away your filthy thoughts about him as soon as they came. Between his movements and his groans, your stomach was knotting in something more than butterflies.
The car was filled with conversation, however, you and Seonghwa remained quiet and in your own little worlds. As the others bantered, you pushed yourself up further on his lap, grimacing as you heard him let out a grunt in your ear. 
And then when his hands gripped onto your bare thighs, you were the one to gasp.
“Stop moving,” he whispered in your ear with haste, almost like a sneer. You kept your vision forward as his breath danced in your ear. “It hurts.”
You swallowed hard. “Oh? Is your little dick that sensitive?” you whispered back, smirking. You moved again, this time on purpose, feeling his bulge through his pants. You kept your cool, ignoring his shaky breaths from behind you. “Are you that happy to see me, Hwa?”
“Shut your mouth or you won’t see the sunrise,” he hissed, but his voice was weak. 
The ten-minute ride felt like an eternity as he breathed underneath you, your mind constantly thinking about how hard he was getting underneath you and how sweet it would be to turn around and face him to see his reaction to you.
You looked to your right, seeing Wooyoung with a knowing smile on his face. “What?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, grinning. “Nothing, nothing,” he said, letting out a giggle. “Just that you both seem…cozy.” 
You slapped him on the shoulder, your movements causing Seonghwa to wiggle underneath you.
“Dammit, Y/N I told you to stop moving,” he seethed, his grip on your thigh tightening. Hongjoong looked back through the mirror, worry in his expression.
“Everything okay?” he asked, meeting your eyes before focusing on the road once again. “We’re almost there, only about a minute or two.”
“Ten-minute ride my ass,” you mumbled, and as you entered the Airport, you should've known that there were going to be speed bumps on the way in….
The shitty old car hopped over the bump, feeling like it hit a huge boulder. You bounced up, not held by any seatbelt, landing hard, right on Seonghwa’s family jewels.
“Fuck,” he cried, tossing his head back against the headrest. Your hands were now holding onto his legs for dear life.
“Joong, will you slow down for those things? Some of us are suffering back here,” you said, to which seonghwa started laughing.
“You're telling me.” he scoffed.
“Okay okay, I just have to park. I have no idea how this works….where the hell is the long-term parking—”
“Probably over there,” Mingi pointed in the opposite direction.
“No, no, I think it’s—”
“I can't take this anymore!” you cried out, leaning forward to assist Hongjoong since Mingi isn't helping. “There's a huge sign in front of us. How can you miss that? It spells it out, dammit.” you huffed, throwing yourself back into your “seat.” This time, he didn't let out a single groan, probably just as fed up with you as you were with him.
Finally, Hongjoong found the lot and parked the car, and as soon as it was stationary, you tossed yourself out of the vehicle like there was no tomorrow. You knew that you couldn't last a minute more on his lap, because if you did, you would be so tempted to turn around and make out with those painfully pretty lips of his. God, he made you so mad. Ever since you met him, there were only the same thoughts circulating round and round. 
Dirty thoughts.
Seonghwa crawled out of the car like a decrepit old spider, his long legs holding up his body with grace. You bit your lip, looking down at where you were sitting on him. Quickly, you looked away as he noticed your gaze, and ran away to go help the others with the luggage.
You weren't quick enough to miss the achingly attractive smirk on Seonghwa’s face.
Why did he have to be so….. libidinous? He was like a wild animal, able to take the lives away of his prey with just an expression.
No more seonghwa on the brain—it was beach time. You were certain you could find someone at a bar to sleep with later, and it wouldn't be Hwa.
Not now, not ever.
You got lucky with the plane ride.
Your seat buddy was Mingi, and Hongjoong knew how much you like your window seats.
Mingi nearly slept the whole flight, his head rested against your shoulder. He snored a little, but it didn't matter. The gentle giant had a place in your heart, so he could do no wrong. 
You often stole glances at Seonghwa across the aisle, his head bobbing up and down as he fought his tiredness. He was so much more likable when he was sleeping, but that was definitely due to the fact that he couldn't stare at you with those entrancing eyes or run that mouth of his.
You were the only one awake by the end of the flight. It was difficult for you to sleep in public places. It didn't feel right. So you would fight off sleep as hard as you could and distract yourself with anything around you.
After the fiasco of leaving the plane, you anxiously trailed behind Hongjoong through the busy airport, pushing past loads of people who had places to be. Thank goodness you were able to leave the airport without a fuss, even if seonghwa was nearly breathing down your neck as you exited.
Luckily, the ride to the hotel wasn't far—and there were more than enough seats for all of you. You distanced yourself from Seonghwa, ignoring his hellish gaze.
The hotel you were staying at stood tall, facing the gorgeous blue ocean for a perfect view. You shut your eyes as you took everything in, smelling the saltiness and the warmth of the air. You smiled to yourself, but your delightful moment didn't last long.
Seonghwa bumped into you purposely, digging his shoulder into yours before walking past you toward the hotel entrance. “Hey, what was that for?” you growled, a scowl on your face.
“You were in the way,” is all he said, not even bothering to turn to face you as he spoke. He continued walking, his beautiful silhouette showing through his sheer shirt. Oh, you wanted to tear it off of him so badly.
You let out a huff of air, but then followed your friends into the building, knowing the end was near if you had to share the room with your snack of choice.
Hongjoong went up to the front desk as you and the boys stood near the doorway, waiting for him to check us in. It didn't take him long, and soon enough, he was walking back over, key cards in his hand, and a bright smile on his face. “All checked in! This’ll be our home for the next week.”
San grabbed his key card first. “Are we all on the same floor? Like in a row? It would be no fun if I had to actually put on clothes to go on the elevator.”
“Yes, San, we’re all on the same floor.” Hongjoong held in his laugh, already clearly enjoying his time away from reality. You stood angrily with your arms across your chest next to seonghwa, who didn't look any happier than you. “And will you two brighten up? You’re killing the vibe.”
You rolled your eyes, glancing up at the boy next to you. His dark hair was slightly frizzy from the humidity, sticking to his forehead like it would if he were sweating. You gulped, thinking dirty thoughts once more before regaining your peace of mind. “I’m not doing anything. It’s all him.”
“No, it’s all you, not me.” he retaliated.
“You’re the one that got a hard-on from me just innocently sitting on your lap.”
“You were purposely shoving your ass on me like a freak—”
“You are ruining the vacation already—”
“Annnd we’re not doing this again,” Mingi sighed and then gripped onto your arm to pull you towards the elevator. 
“Let’s go, we got bars to get wrecked at.”
“Oh, hell no.”
You dropped your luggage as you entered your room for the week, staring at what was in it.
Or lack thereof.
One bed—a queen, maybe, sat in the middle of the room. A chair was tilted by the sliding glass doors that opened to the balcony, and a lamp stood in the corner. It was cute, of course, but you thought this couldn't get any worse.
Seonghwa walked past you into the room, setting his suitcase on the floor by the chair. “Don't worry,” he hummed, his voice low. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“I–” you paused, taking in a breath before continuing. “You can sleep on the bed, I ain't that mean.”
“So you think I’m going to let my best friend’s sister sleep on the floor?” he laughed, but it wasn't out of humor. “That’s funny. I’d get my ass beat.” He sat down on the floor, stretching out his long legs before opening his suitcase. “Just forget about me like you usually do and take the bed.”
You had no snarky remarks to throw at him this time, your eyelids feeling heavier than ever. You sighed, sitting down on the bed with a thud. “Okay, fine. Wake me up when we are going to leave.”
“Yeah yeah,” he snarkily replied, too focused on his luggage in front of him. You shut your eyes slowly, holding on to your consciousness a little longer, before drifting off into a sleep that would cause an unexpected uproar a few hours later.
After your amazing nap, you and the boys found your way to a beach bar, sand filling the floor and loud music playing in the background. You took your rightful spot at the bar, sitting right next to Wooyoung, who was already chugging a fruity margarita. 
“You should try this, Y/N,” he let out a satisfied sigh after he finished his gulp. “Tastes like fucking unicorns and rainbows.”
You laughed. “Sounds divine, but I’ll pass and get my whiskey sour.”
He grimaced. “Ew, you should spruce it up a little bit sometimes.”
San sat down on the other side of him, a fancy glass in his hands as well. “Yeah, you’re kind of a bore.”
“San what the—”
“She is, isn't she?” Seonghwa hummed from behind you, and of course, sat his ass in the chair right next to you. You groaned, ignoring him once again, although it was quite hard to not drool as he gulped his beer, his throat bobbing as he drank it.
Fucking hell.
You looked around for any sign of your brother to save you, and once you saw him, you cringed, turning right back around to face the bar. “Dear god, can't he keep his dick in his pants for five minutes?” you shivered, trying to think of anything else other than your brother making out with a random person. 
Seonghwa looked back, a smirk on his face as you ordered your drink. “Hypocrite. Just last week I walked in on you with Mingi in the chem lab,” he snickered, his midnight eyes catching the neon lights behind the bar. “Your tongue was so far down his throat I swear I—”
“Says the guy who I caught watching porn freshman year in the computer lab—”
“Here’s your Whiskey sour,” the bartender awkwardly interrupted, but thank god he did. You quickly chugged it, finishing it within a minute of getting it. He gave you another right away, and you downed that one as quickly as it came. He was cute, a little on the scruffy side, but definitely a good one-night. You gave him a look, feeling accomplished as he smirked a little before serving someone else.
“Maybe you shouldn't drink so fast, y/n,” San murmured from Wooyoung’s side, his strong arms holding his weight against the table. “You get drunk really quick on an empty stomach. Remember what happened last time? You have a bad habit of trying to kiss everything you see.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, setting the empty glass down on the bar. As you did that, you felt the warmth of the alcohol fill your body. “What? Who did I kiss?”
Seonghwa laughed from the other side of you while you focused on San.
“Me.” San blinked. “Tongue and all. But not just me, you kissed the statue outside our campus. You know, that really rusty one?”
You gagged. “Ew, no. stop. No, I didn't.”
“Oh, yes you did,” Seongwha piped in, sipping on his third or fourth beer. “And then you threw up on my shoes when I brought you home.”
You let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, taking his beer right out of his hands. “Phew, thank god I didn't kiss you,” you shivered, bringing the bottle up to your lips. After you started chugging it a little bit, Hwa ripped the bottle away from you.
You felt your vision start to sway from the alcohol. You loved the feeling of being drunk—just hated the hangovers. Right now though, you wanted to get wasted and go home with a stranger. The hangover will be tomorrow’s problem.
But seonghwa had to just run his mouth once again.
“You know you talk in your sleep, right?” He laughed, a full, humorous laugh. He tossed the bottle to the back of his throat and then continued to laugh at you. “Something about how awful the airplane food was and how drinking milk reminds you of cum.” he grimaced at the last part, but a playful smile still rested on his face. “God you are explicit.”
Your cheeks flushed, looking anywhere but his direction. “I do not sleeptalk.”
You looked to Wooyoung and San for help, but they looked dumbfounded. “I wouldn't know, y/n, I never slept with you,” San smirked, smiling deviously at you. “Unless you’re down with that, I’m all for hearing you sleeptalk in my ear all night.”
“Yeah, me too,” Woo played along, knowing he was just doing it to tease you. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was trying desperately to embarrass you in front of the hot bartender.
“God, it’s so annoying, I wanted to rip my hair out earlier,” he smiled devilishly, his teeth even brighter than normal under all the neon lights. “I thought I couldn't hate you more, but you proved me wrong.”
You looked straight ahead, ignoring Seonghwa’s goofy smile. “Whatever,” you huffed, resting your face on your hand, your elbow holding up the weight. You watched the sexy bartender notice your stare. He smiled and walked over to you.
“Need another sour?” he asked, his cheeks pinched with dimples. You had your eyes set on going home with him, and you were going to follow through with it. Seonghwa can stay outside for the night—or watch, it didn't matter to you. 
“Actually,” you pondered, blinking slowly as the alcohol hit your system even harder. “I’ll take a vodka and Sprite. Grey Goose.” you hummed, watching him nod with a smirk on his face.
Seonghwa chuckled, but you were too focused on your mission to hear him blab about how much he hated you over and over again. Soon enough, that damn grey goose hit you harder than anything. Your eyes fluttered after your second glass, your vision fuzzy, and your heartbeat racing. 
You let out a heavy sigh, unable to remember your original mission.
“Hey,” you coughed, your cheeks burning up from the toxin. You looked around the bar, only meeting Seonghwa’s eyes…..oh…they’re so pretty. “Where did everyone else go?”
He was facing you, looking at you through those sparkling irises of his. He took in a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, your brother left with that girl he was making out with earlier….San and Woo left not too long ago to go to another bar, and Mingi….” he paused, watching your expression change when mingi was mentioned. “Mingi went with them.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “Why’d you stop at mingi like that?”
He furrowed his brows. “Why’d you look like that when I mentioned him?”
You sniffled, feeling a burning sensation in your throat from all the vodka. “What do you mean?” you were too messed up to defend yourself. You didn't even know your expression changed.
“You looked…different when I said his name.”
You couldn't help but laugh at his dreary tone. “Pfft. Hwa, do you think that just because I slept with him once that I have feelings for him?”
He frowned, his eyebrows knit with confusion. “You slept with him? Mingi?”
You shrugged. “Yeah. Just once, though.” Oh god, you officially couldn't think straight. Why were you even telling him this? “But that was it.”
He looked at you with an unknown expression, flattening his lips. “So you just sleep with anyone, huh?”
You scoffed. “Well, no, not usually.” you bit your lip, looking at him without knowing how you were looking at him. “I kind of always wanted you, but I didn’t understand why, so I ignore the feeling by sleeping with other guys.”
“That makes no sense, y/n,” he spat. “What are you saying?”
You rolled your eyes, drunkenly gripping his broad shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Awh, shut it, Hwa. Haven't you ever felt that before?” you paused, not realizing how close you were. His eyes were sharp, and his lips parted. “Wanting someone you can't have? Knowing that they wouldn't want anything to do with you?”
He swallowed hard, his gaze piercing into you sharply. “You’re drunk, y/n,” he paused, looking at you intently before shaking your hands away. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“Oooh, don't tempt me, baby,” you poked his chest, giggling as he stood up off the barstool. You were completely oblivious to the fact that you just admitted to wanting him, but it didn't seem like he took it seriously. 
“Get up,” he huffed, gripping under your arms and lifting you off your chair. You groaned, wrapping your arms around his waist. You held onto him tightly as he reached into his back pocket to grab money, tossing it onto the counter with a glare at the bartender. 
“Enjoy your night,” Seonghwa growled, holding onto you, and made his way towards the hotel with you clung to him.
“Seonghwa,” you whispered, a giggle under your breath.
He grunted, pulling you along with him. “What?”
You sniffed. “Can I kiss you?”
He sighed. “No.”
“Why?” you mumbled, shoving your face into his chest.
“Because it’s your drunk habit.”
“So would you kiss me if it wasn't?” you asked, completely obliterated. There was no way you were going to remember this in the morning. 
He didn't answer you.
“Come on, Hwa,” you moaned, stopping and gripping onto his collar in front of the hotel. You looked up into his eyes, feeling his intense gaze cut right through your intoxication. You needed him. Needed him bad. “Just once. God, just once.”
“I…” he swallowed, his hands twitching at his sides, crying out to touch you. He kept them away, even if he didn't want to. “Not now. Not while you’re drunk.”
You blinked slowly, watching his lips flatten into a frown. “Does that mean you want to?”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair aggressively. “Please just….let’s get back to the room and get you to bed.”
You groaned, but complied, following him into the hotel and into the elevator. The ride was silent, Seonghwa standing in the corner, farthest away from you, his breathing slowed. You stared at him, leaning up against the wall.
“I really hate you,” you mumbled, glaring at him. He was too sexy, his hair messy, his eyes dark, his long legs taller than a skyscraper. You only admitted your attraction to him when you were drunk, but you couldn't deny the pull you had to him.
He looked up at you, his starry eyes looking from your legs, up to your hips, over your breasts, and finally to your eyes. He took in a sharp breath, biting the corner of his lip.
“I hate you too,” he whispered, his vision low.
And in what world would the words I hate you cause someone’s heart to flutter?
The elevator dinged at your floor, and after a moment of longing stares, Seonghwa gripped your arm and dragged you out. He held onto your drunken body as he searched for his keycard, and once he found it, you tumbled into the room together. 
Your back was pressed against the wall, his arms caging you in on both sides. His forehead was on yours, and you were able to feel his hot breath against your lips.
“Oh,” you hummed, your hands subconsciously dancing at the hem of his t-shirt. You watched his throat bob anxiously as you looked into his eyes.
It took everything in him to move away. He coughed awkwardly and then nodded toward the bed. “Come on, you need to rest.”
“Mhm,” you murmured, unable to move in a straight line. You kicked off your sandals, and pulled off your shirt with ease, leaving you only in your bra and that skimpy skirt seonghwa was looking at all night.
He watched as you walked, holding his breath without meaning to. 
As you neared the bed, you reached back to unclip your bra, but you couldn't reach it. “Hwa?”
He was looking at the floor. “Hm?” 
“Can you…” you paused, giving up on trying to get it off. “Take this off of me? It’s really uncomfortable.”
He blinked, his eyes wide. You couldn't see the confusion in his expression, but you heard the shakiness of his tone. “W-what? Your….bra?”
“Yeah.”
He didn't say anything else. He slowly walked over to where you were, and as his fingertips traced the middle of your back, you shivered under his touch.
He unclasped the hook, but held on to both ends of the bra, afraid to let it drop. “It’s done,” he whispered, backing up slightly.
You dropped the bra onto the floor and then reached to take off your skirt. As you slid it down your hips, you heard seonghwa nearly trip over his feet trying to turn away.
“Do you…always sleep naked?” he asked you, looking anywhere but where you were. You were way too drunk to care about what he sees, but you were also too tired to try. You fell onto the bed, your arm covering your breasts and your underwear still on.
“Fuck, y/n,” Seonghwa huffed, finally looking over and doing everything to not look where he shouldn't. He gently reached for the blanket, tossing it over you in one swift motion.
You shut your eyes tight, feeling his presence loom over you. He brushed away the stray hairs on your face and made sure you were laying on your side. 
“.... I’m so screwed,” he muttered, giving you one last look before walking into the bathroom and turning on the cold water. 
A cold shower, especially knowing that there was a beautiful, nearly naked girl in the bed just outside the door. 
The cold water ran down his body, giving him a rush of pain. 
“Fuck,” he hissed, biting his lip as his attraction to you only worsened. 
After his attempt to cleanse his messy thoughts, Seonghwa stepped out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips. He hesitated before looking over at you, and after he got a good look at your pretty face, he made his way to his luggage, rooting in there for a t-shirt to toss on.
“...seong…hwa,” you moaned. 
Moaned. 
“....y/n?” he whispered, maybe thinking you were awake and needed something. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but that sounded too….sensual than just a normal tone.
“I…ugh,” you groaned, “don't stop, please. H…Hwa.”
Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, dropping the clothes he had in his hands, eyes wide.
“Seonghwa….”
Okay, that was the third time. You were most definitely dreaming about him….
“Oh…my…god.” Hwa gulped, cautiously standing up and backing away as far as he could from you.
Little did he know how detailed your dream was.
His hands snaked up your bare hips, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were on your ear, biting, teeth clashing against your skin. 
He thrusted into you, hard, his hips buckling as he moaned. You cried out his name, back arching, nails scratching. He fucked you hard, his forehead against yours, and his eyes rolled back into his head. 
“You like that?” he whispered, his tongue sliding into your mouth before you could answer. His sweat fell on your cheek, and you moaned out his name once more. You weren't sure how you got here, how this came about, or anything. All that mattered was that you were finally with him, the man you always thought you hated.
“…hwa,” you moaned, “fuck me harder.”
And as he slammed into you with even more force than before, his lips crashed onto yours, his black hair blocking your vision. You wanted more, and more and more—
“Y/n,” 
“Just shut up and keep going,” you cried out.
“Y/N!”
You shot awake, gasping for air as your back hit the headboard. You breathed heavily, realizing that you were dreaming about all of that and that the real seonghwa was standing in front of you, shirtless, with an expression you weren't quite sure you’d ever seen before.
“Seonghwa, what—”
“S..stop it. Don't say my name,” he stuttered, looking anywhere but your body. He quickly tossed a t-shirt at you—his t-shirt. “Just put this on. The guys are down getting breakfast, so we gotta go.”
He quickly walked to his own luggage and grabbed a shirt for himself. You watched him as he tossed it on and slid on his shoes, and with one last awkward glance at you, he left the room in haste.
You were too scared to look down, hoping that you still had underwear on. You weren't too sure if that was a dream or not, but given the way he acted, it made you even more confused.
You felt the wetness between your thighs, clenching them with a sigh. You stood up, tossing on the bra that was laying on the floor as if it was thrown off of you.
After cleaning yourself up a bit, you made your way to the breakfast area on the first floor, immediately noticed by Hongjoong. “There you are! I was worried you weren't going to—” he stopped, noticing the shirt that was way too big on you. “That’s the shirt I got Hwa….”
Seonghwa cleared his throat, shoving a bagel into his mouth to distract himself.
You ignored him and sat down across from him and next to Mingi. You looked up, meeting eyes with the man you thought so filthily about, seeing a swipe of cream cheese on the bottom of his lip. You held back, knowing that it’ll just send you into another spiral if you pointed it out.
But when he stuck his tongue out to lick it off, you felt the tingle in your stomach once more, thinking back at the dream you had, and how his tongue caressed you in more ways than one.
He met eyes with you, his lips parting slightly. His gaze was much different than it ever has been. You've never seen him so….lost. His expression was conflicted, his eyes not leaving your lips.
Wooyoung smirked. “Did you guys fuck or something? What’s with the mood?”
“Wooyoung!” Hongjoong yelled.
“What? I’m just pointing out the obvious,” he shrugged.
“We didn't. Keep dreaming,” Seonghwa muttered lowly, taking another bite of his bagel.
Hongjoong huffed. “I don't want to imagine my sister and seonghwa in that way…that’s super weird.”
“Why?” seonghwa questioned, his tone serious. You looked at him, confused as to why he cared. It seemed like everyone else was just as confused as you. “Ahem, I mean…uh, is it that hard to imagine?” Seonghwa’s voice was shaky, his gaze hopping from Hongjoong to you.
It made your brother laugh. “Well, yeah. You guys hate each other, right?” he took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “It makes no sense for you to even see eye to eye, I couldn't imagine you two in any type of relationship. Maybe her and Mingi, out of everyone.”
Seonghwa dropped his bagel face down onto his plate. “Why Mingi? What’s so special about—”
“I’m right here guys….” Mingi tried to interrupt, but Seonghwa shot him a dangerous glare, causing the gentle giant to hold his tongue.
Hongjoong looked around at the boys awkwardly and picked up his fork to continue eating his eggs. “I’m just saying.”
This was too awkward. You kept stealing glances at Hwa as if he were a magnet. You assumed he felt similarly, because every time you looked, your eyes would meet, and then you would awkwardly stare for a moment too long before looking away.
And when he got up to get more food, you got up, too.
“We need to talk,” you whispered, coming right up next to him as he put a muffin on his plate. “Why are you acting weird?”
He sighed and continued to add food to his plate. “I’m not acting weird.”
As he moved to get a drink from the drink machine, you continued to follow him. “Did I do something wrong yesterday?” you gasped, holding a hand over your mouth as he still ignored you. “Did I kiss you? Dear god, I hope not—”
“No, you didn't,” he said quietly, walking back over to the table.
“Something must have happened, seonghwa—”
He stopped, nearly causing you to bump into his back. “Don't.” he paused, taking in a sharp breath, looking over his shoulder at you. “Don't say my name.”
You frowned in confusion, watching the muscles in his back move as he walked away. You couldn't remember your antics yesterday, but maybe you made him uncomfortable by sleeping nearly naked—he hated you, so you could only imagine how irritated he was.
“Listen, if it was because I was naked, I'm sorry—” 
Everyone at the table looked up as you spoke, including seonghwa. He looked shy, a blush on his cheeks, and he sat down quickly and stuffed the muffin in his mouth.
“Naked?” Mingi laughed, looking from you to seonghwa suggestively. “Sounds awfully smutty, Seonghwa.”
��We didn't—” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “Nothing happened with us.”
“Mhm, okay,” San smirked. “Whatever you say. Anyway, we have a whole day out planned, so you two better get back to your normal selves or we won't have any fun.”
You really needed to talk to seonghwa, but it seemed like you'll be busy the whole day with the boys—and he didn't seem to be very interested in talking to you, anyway.
You tilted your head in curiosity. 
“What are we doing?”
The day was eventful.
First, you went to the beach. Seemed innocent, until Seonghwa took off his shirt and got all soaking wet, sending you in a mess of thoughts and a mess below. He would look over at you, and wouldn't look away, paying intense attention to your body in a skimpy little bikini. 
When you went to talk to him, he body-slammed you into the ocean, and normally you would've fumed, but this time, you enjoyed his hands on your bare skin. 
After the beach, you walked along the boardwalk of shops and lots of food. You grabbed a popsicle, licking it without a thought, but when you felt an intense pressure on you, you looked over to see seonghwa looking at you with an expression you've never seen on him. His eyes were focused on your lips, his own lips curled up as he bit them. You continued to eat your popsicle, but couldn't stop looking at him.
When you tried to bring up last night, Hongjoong came over and took the rest of your pop, running away from you like a child.
At dinner, you sat at the far end of the table, as far away as possible from Seonghwa. It wasn't intended, but now there was no way you could talk, as everyone would hear your conversation.
You ate, feeling defeated. Maybe you should just forget about it.
It was still daylight after dinner. As the guys conversed about what to do next, San and Wooyoung decided to go their own way and walk the beach, which was just their code word for “shopping” for girls. Hongjoong agreed with them, shocking you since he was always hell-bent on not going off a schedule. You assumed he was just going to meet that girl he was with yesterday, but whatever, it just meant that you could be left alone with Seonghwa.
After those three left, it was only you, Seonghwa, and Mingi. Hwa stood with his hands in his pockets, awkwardly looking around as you stood outside the restaurant. Mingi was even more awkward, looking at you before speaking.
“Um, I’m just gonna go with Woo and San, so,” he breathed, looking to seonghwa now. “I’ll see you guys back at the hotel tonight.”
“Okay, Mingi,” you smiled. “See you later.”
You watched him leave and then looked at the boy standing next to you.
“So,” you tried to initiate conversation, but seonghwa started walking in the opposite direction from where everyone else went. You followed. “What should we do?”
“I’m going surfing,” he said blandly. “I don't know about you, though.”
“I’ll come with you,” you smiled, finally catching up to him. He let out an aggravated groan as you walked close to him. “Do you even know how to surf?”
He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, I do.” 
“I’m just saying,” you noted, shrugging as you followed him. “You’re too….dainty. I feel like if you fell off you’d break every bone in your body.”
Seonghwa didn't react in any way you were hoping he would. Instead, he kept walking silently, until you reached the part of the beach where the surf shack was. Wetsuits were laid out, ready to be picked up, and surfboards stood tall through the sand and against the building. You stared in awe as you approached, seeing that there was no one else here but you two.
Finally, alone at last. 
“Grab a suit if you’re gonna do this,” he pointed to them, raising an eyebrow when you stood there anxiously. “What? Don't you know how to surf?” he mocked.
You kicked at the sand, your hands behind your back. “Pff. yeah, of course, I….no. I don't.” you pleaded with your eyes sweetly, despite all of the dirty things you wanted to do to him. “Could you please teach me? Pretty please?”
He held his own suit close to his chest as he looked down at you. “Why should I?”
You stepped closer to him, causing him to step back cautiously. “Because I’m pretty?”
“Oh honey, who lied to you?” he joked.
“Please, Seonghwa?” you stressed his name, hoping to break him. You watched his eye twitch as you said it, reminding you of earlier when he told you not to say his name.
“Seonghwa seonghwa seonghwa seong—”
“Okay, fine! Jeez,” he huffed, tossing you a suit, only for it to hit you in the face. “Get dressed.”
You walked into the shack with him, going your separate ways at the locker rooms. Everything went smoothly until you tried to zipper the suit up, only being able to get it halfway. You pondered on asking seonghwa for help or completely turning into a contortionist, but after failing to do it yourself, you gave up and left the room to ask him.
Seonghwa stood amongst the surfboards, his lean body looking delicious in that surf suit. You nearly drooled looking at him.
“Hey,” you started, slowly approaching him as he picked out a board. “Can you help me zipper this?”
He turned to you, his expression conflicted as he saw you. You turned around, showing your exposed back, causing him to clear his throat. “O..okay.”
His delicate fingers brushed against the skin of your back, nearly causing you to shiver. You felt his breath hit the back of your neck as the zipper moved up and up until he zipped it completely.
“....There,” he said, swallowing. “You’re all good.”
He didn't move his hands until you pulled away from him, turning back around to face him. The silence was deafening, so you decided to break it.
“Seonghwa, about last night, what exactly happened—”
“Let’s just get started before the sun goes down,” he interrupted, looking anywhere but your eyes. “We’ll talk later.”
That was good enough for now. You watched him try to pick out a board, but he seemed extremely nervous. After a good bit of time, he grabbed a pink one, causing you to smile. Pink suited him so much, more than he’d probably like to admit.
“Let’s start with some basics,” he spoke smoothly, tossing the board down onto the sand. “Get on it. On your stomach.”
You lay down on the board, looking up at him for more directions. He taught you how to paddle with your arms, explaining that you'll have to dive under the waves sometimes if you were okay with doing that. You couldn't look weak now, especially not to him. So after the little training lesson, you were finally in the shallow water, sand already in every nook and cranny of you.
“Try to keep balance,” he said, his voice raspy. It wasn't the time to turn you on, but of course, he could do it just by his voice. “Keep your chest up.” his hand caressed your back, down your spine.
You looked up at him, his wet hair dripping down his face. You held back, as much as you could, from pouncing on him.
But when you fell off the board and got stuck underwater, you’ve never seen him so concerned before.
He grabbed you under your arms, pulling you back up and holding him to you while you coughed. You were perfectly fine—maybe a little too much water in the ears, but it was the least of your worries. What you cared about was the look on his face and the way he caged you to his body.
“y/n?” he rushed his hand over your face, pushing away your drenched hair so he could see you. “Are you okay?”
You coughed, blinking away the salt that infiltrated your eyes. Seonghwa noticed your distress and gently rubbed your face with the pad of his thumb. 
“Don't rub your eyes,” he pushed your hand away, still not letting you go from his embrace. “You'll make it worse.”
“It hurts,” you mumbled, causing his look of worry to worsen. True, the salt started burning your eyes, but you couldn't get enough of his caring touch—maybe because he’s never shown this side of himself to you.
He took in an anxious breath as he looked around. “Maybe we should get back to the hotel,” he spoke softly, the sound of water filling your senses as you looked at him. 
Everything about his appearance aggravated you—from the way his midnight hair draped his face, dripping with water down his cheeks, to the way his normally judgemental eyes seemed gentle and sweet. He looked kind, the type of man who would worship his lover like a queen, and all the time knowing him, you tried your hardest to only see him in a negative light.
Now, as he held you in the cold, sparkling ocean as the sun was setting, all you saw was your reflection in his eyes and all you felt was the undeniable pull to be with him. To touch him. To kiss him. To tell him that maybe, just maybe, you’ve always had a piece of him in your heart.
“Seonghwa, I…” you paused, ignoring the burn from the salt water. You watched his lips as they slowly parted, his eyes wide as he picked you apart. They looked at you differently, like they never looked at you before, and you wanted him to never stop looking at you. 
The distance between the two of you was nonexistent—you saw every drop of water on his skin, and you were certain he was able to gather the meaning behind your gaze. If he did, he didn't say anything—he only looked back at you with those entrancing irises of his, a look you’ve never seen from him. He waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, but you had nothing else to say.
As your lips neared his, you heard his breath get caught in his throat, and you felt his embrace tighten around you. You closed your eyes, taking in the feeling, hoping that he would be the one to lean in and meet your lips.
He didn't. 
Instead, his hands trailed down your back, the pink surfboard still floating next to you despite being forgotten. His breath was shaky as he touched you, but the moment ended too quickly as he shook himself out of his trance.
“I um, we should, you know,” he nodded towards the beach, even though you weren't too far out. “We should get back to the room.”
You slowly blinked at him, watching his expression stay the same despite the change of mind. He coughed, letting go of you, but then he grabbed your hand and the board before pulling you to shore.
The walk back was quiet. He didn't let go of your hand until you got back to the surf shack, and he reluctantly let go knowing you had to change.
You both were silent as you looked at each other, but the ache in your chest convinced you to break this tension.
Before you entered the changing room, you quickly turned back around to face seonghwa, who still stood with that….sex-charged expression on his face.
“….Stop looking at me like that,” you hummed, your chest heavy as he breathed in deeply. He looked at you with those bedroom eyes of his, half of his wetsuit already off. He looked deadly, which didn't help your desire.
He swallowed hard but tried his best to remain calm. “Like what?”
You took a step closer, reaching back to your zipper to pull it down just a little. You shrugged it down your bare shoulders, making sure he got to know that there was nothing else but you under that wetsuit once again.
And when you got as close as you could, you said the words you knew would be life or death for him. 
“Like you want to fuck me,” you shrugged, acting all cool even though you were falling apart by the second. You were lucky you were at the surf shack at such a late time of day, and that no one else was here except you. 
He choked on air, stepping away from you until his back hit the wall. You noticed how his chest rose and fell as he breathed in, and how delicious it would be to just lick him all over….
“I…” he gulped, but his eyes lingered on your shoulders and the curve of your breasts. “I don't know what you mean?”
You smiled through your haze, mind focused on getting to the bottom of his sudden change of attitude towards you. You reached out, gently guiding your hand down the plain of his chest, down his slim, but muscular waist. Oh, you couldn't get enough of him already.
You smirked. “Then tell me why you’ve been eye fucking me all day, or at least what happened last night, so I can understand.”
He blinked fast, looking from your lips, down your neck, to your bare shoulders. 
“You…” he took in a sharp breath as your hands trailed down his body. “You sleeptalk.”
“I know that already,” you whispered, looking into his captivating gaze. 
He leaned forward slightly, veins popping in his neck as he strained against his judgment. “I mean, you…kept moaning my name. I…I couldn't take it anymore….I can't take it anymore. Every time you speak I just want to fucking shut you up with my mouth for fucks sake.” he huffed, subconsciously gripping your hips as he grits his teeth. “You so annoying, so damn annoying, I can't—”
“Then take me,” you spoke against his lips. “Fuck me. Just like you did in my dreams.”
His forehead pressed against yours as you pushed him further against the wall.
“And how did I do that?” he growled, his fingertips tugging at your wetsuit. “Was I rough? Gentle?” he paused, lips pressed to your neck. “Did I make you say my name, or was that all you with that filthy little mouth of yours?”
You couldn't speak as his lips glided down your neck to your collarbone. He sucked on the skin there, roughly, causing you to suck in a sharp breath and run your hands through his dripping-wet hair.
You moaned, biting his earlobe. “I want you to tear me apart.”
He smirked against your skin, his eyes finally meeting yours. 
“Rough it is, then.”
Without warning, he bit his lip hard as he pulled your wetsuit right down to your ankles, the water from his hair dripping onto your bare shoulders. He nearly growled as you stood in front of him, naked as ever, his gaze darkening before gripping the back of your neck to pull you to him.
As he sucked on your neck, you pulled down his suit with aggression, not quick enough for the hunger in both of your souls. His hot breath tickled your skin, his hands clawed at your hips, and his lips begged to kiss yours as you shoved him against the wall once again, skin on skin. He breathed heavily, his eyes dancing from your breasts to your waist, to your lips.
You gripped onto his hair, staring into his eyes for a moment before you locked your lips with his, tasting the saltiness of the ocean and the sweet warmth of his saliva. Your tongues fought for their lives, dancing as you deepened the kiss. Foreheads slamming, hands invading space. It was all over for your sanity the minute his long fingers glided against your core, his middle finger finding your clit and rubbing gently. His kisses were rough as his fingers delicately touched you, fueling the fire within you even more than it already was.
“Seonghwa,” you moaned against his ear, causing him to move his hand faster with a grunt. “Push them in me.”
He hissed, his eyes rolling back into his head as he pulled his hands away for a moment, only to suck his fingers in front of you before shoving them into you, curling them up inside you. You arched your back against him, crying out as his lips found yours once again.
He kissed you deeply as he made love to you with his hands, his fingers long enough to reach deep inside of you—but it wasn't enough. You bit his lip sharply as he fingered you, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I need your cock in me. Now.” you licked his jawline, watching him squirm in your embrace. 
His cheeks were flushed red as he looked at you, his eyes looking as if he were intoxicated. “I…fuck,” he sucked in a breath, kissing you as his fingers moved faster and faster. “Okay.” 
As he pulled his fingers out of you, he licked them once more, his eyes on yours seductively. 
“You taste so good.” he moaned, his mouth parted. He then lifted you up, walking you over to the table of waxed surfboards in the middle of the room. Shoving everything off with one hand, he threw you onto the wood, causing you to let out a little grunt.
“You’re so sexy,” he leaned over you, slamming your hands above your head before silencing your moans with a rough kiss. “So fucking sexy, you have no idea how long I wanted to shove my dick inside you.” His words were like gasoline to your fire, causing you to cry out in a whimper for him to do exactly what he said he would do. You kept your mouth shut as he tugged you to the edge of the table, lining up his hard-on to enter you.
After a look of longing, he spit onto his fingers and rubbed them onto his cock and your heat, his chest falling and rising with his heavy breathing. He then buried himself inside you, deeply, causing your breath to hitch. He was even bigger than your dreams, tearing apart your expectations of his skills. You tried your best to free your arms from his hold, but as he moved in and out of you, you had lost the desire to escape it. You really liked the feeling of his fingernails tearing into your skin.
“Ah,” he whimpered, his hips rocking quickly, his eyes shut tight. His thrusts were deep, not slowing down for a second.
Your legs curled around his shoulders, his one arm holding your hands and his other piercing into your ankle. He grunted as he pumped into you, tearing at your insides, feeling him fill you up. “Hwa,” you groaned, back arching in pleasure. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
He grunted in response, speeding up faster as his hips slammed into yours. You felt him quiver inside you, precum dripping into you without a care. You loved the feeling, you didn't care about the risks in the moment. 
You climaxed without warning, your legs tightening around his head. He kept muttering your name over and over again against you, kissing the skin of your ankles as he continued to fuck the living shit out of you. You started to see stars as he nearly cracked your spine, and right before he nearly came, he flipped you over onto your stomach without ever leaving you.
Your face was shoved against the wood of the table, the sweet smell of sex enveloping your senses. You cried out his name as he gripped onto your hips, moving faster as his own orgasm came close. His lips met the small of your back, his fingers gripped your ass with haste. 
“I’m going to come,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. “Can I come in you?”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Come inside me.”
As if your words stirred something within him, he immediately moved in shorter movements, his grip on your ass tightening as his orgasm came. His breathing shallowed as he came into you, filling you up with his cum. You let out one last moan as you felt his warmth, and he kissed the back of your neck as he finished.
He pulled out of you slowly despite how rough he was—he could've been rougher, but you didn't want him to think of you as the insane slut everyone thought you were.
Even though you only ever slept with others because you couldn't have him.
And now…..what comes next?
He helped you sit back up to a normal position, and when he saw the dark, purple bruises on your neck and collarbone, he gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry,” his fingers gently brushed against your hot skin as if he didn't just totally destroy you. “I kind of….went crazy, didn't I?”
You smiled up at him in a daze, both your cheeks blushed in embarrassment and enjoyment. “I like crazy.”
He paused, standing proudly in front of you with that delicious body of his. You sighed in contentment, a lazy smile on your lips. “I dreamt of this. Literally.” you reached out to him, pulling his lips down to yours. He kissed them softly, opening his mouth wide as he made out with you. You didn't want to pull away, but as the thought of you both having sex in a public surf shack came to your mind, you pulled away quickly, startling him.
“Um, so,” you laughed awkwardly. “Should we head back now? We are kind of in a public place….”
Seonghwa looked around, smirking as he leaned forward on the table, kissing you once more. “It was kind of thrilling, not gonna lie.”
You leaned into his embrace, his hands caressing your back romantically. “So,” you whispered against his lips. “We should get back. And this time, you better sleep in the bed with me.”
“Oh, baby, I plan on doing more than just sleeping.”
After countless rounds of ‘sleeping’, you ended up waking up late in Seonghwa’s embrace, his lips pressed against the curve of your shoulder as he held you. He quite literally rocked you all night long, and you even discovered his love for reverse cowgirl—making him come within two minutes of the fifth round.
Now, as you lay in his arms while he slept, you finally felt content. He was all you ever wanted, even though your words said otherwise this whole time of knowing him.
“Hey,” you turned around in his embrace, pressing your lips against his forehead. “Seonghwa.”
“Hm?” he grumbled sleepily, his eyes blinking open to meet yours. 
You smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. “We should get up. The others are probably waiting for us in the lobby.”
“Ugh, why?” he groaned, holding onto you tighter. “ I don't want to leave this bed today. Or ever.”
You giggled, pecking his lips. “Come on, Hwa. I really would like to get a tan on the sand today.”
His eyes were wide open now, but he blinked slowly from his sleepiness. “We barely got any sleep,” he huffed, shoving his head into your shoulder. “And I can't kiss you in front of everyone, I can't wait the whole day to touch you.”
You grinned chaotically.
“Who says we have to hide it?”
“Dear lord,” Wooyoung huffed, sitting with his arms crossed at the beach. “Are they ever going to stop and come up for air?”
Your friends sat on towels on the sand, while you sat on Seonghwa’s lap as you made out with him. His hands gripped your face as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, both of you having no care for those around you. 
“I knew this was going to happen,” San mumbled with a smirk, elbowing Wooyoung playfully. “Just let them have their fun. It’s been a long time coming.”
“Pfft,” Woo scoffed, looking at how seonghwa touched you.
 “I always thought I would be the one tapping that.”
“Wooyoung shut the fuck up.”
3K notes · View notes
nocturnalcharm · 2 months
Text
SWF Alphabet (Logan Howlett)
𐙚 cw: mention of sex briefly, cursing
𐙚 a/n: all of these are just my ~opinions~ so feel free to disagree w me lol also maybe a lil self indulgent so probs not v accurate to wolvie but its alr :,) NOT PROOFREAD
18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
— doesn’t start out affectionate, but once you’ve got a deep connection, he becomes more affectionate. loves hugs and surprising you with gifts
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
— would start bc of the team obv. feel like he’d be the type of friend where,,, if you called him at 3am, for any reason, he’d be out of the house and otw to you at 3:01.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
— as much as i want to say yes.. like realistically no. bc nightmares and claws and trauma. but likeeee this is my blog bitch so yes hehe. he’s a big cuddle bug. def likes to be the big spoon but doesn’t mind being a lil spoon sometimes.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
— yes, he could see himself settling down but doesn’t rly care for getting married though, he just doesn’t see the point of it.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
— (im crying) if he HAD to, i feel like he’d push it off and become more distant until you ask him what’s wrong, then he’d tell you everything. ookaY NEXT I DONT WANNA BE SAD
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
— i feel like he wouldn’t want to get married, not for a specific reason, just like doesn’t see the point. is committed to you though and if it was rly important to you, he would.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
— hA. physically yes very gentle unless ur having sex. emotionally………. nah. like if it’s a rly serious situation then yeah but he might not realize how serious something is until he’s already made an ass out of himself and then he’s like //oh shit i fucked up//
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
— heheh… yes. he hugs you all the time. literally always. coming up behind you while you’re cooking, or brushing your teeth and bear hugs you. he just likes touching you.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
— oof. he takes awhile to say it. he def says it first though. but like.. awhile. probably like a year.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
— WHEWWWW I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. he’s very jealous. he says he’s not. but his actions show otherwise. like says he’s fine but can’t keep his hands off you (when he normally hates PDA) ugh i love it. just wants to show everyone you’re his.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
— passionate. leaves you wanting more. he likes to kiss you allllll overrrr. he likes to be kissed on his neck. and his chest when you’re cuddling and he doesn’t have a shirt on. and lips but duh.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
— cautious, like kinda scared. especially around babies. doesn’t know how to handle them lol
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
— sleepy, cuddly mornings. staying in bed for as long as possible.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
— i like to think you two stay up late together. watching movies, cooking food at midnight, you two often fall asleep on the couch instead of the bed
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
— he doesn’t start getting rly personal until he knows you’re someone to trust, but it’d take awhile. he reveals things slowly.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
— unless you do something to really piss him off, which you wouldnt, i feel like he’d be chill (with u only obv, angry wolvie w everyone else)
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
— sorry but like he remembers every detail you’ve told him. he comes home randomly with a specific candy bar you mentioned you like ONCE 2 years ago and is so proud of himself.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
— when he first said “i love you”. he was so vulnerable and scared honestly but everything was fine and you said it back!!
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
— VERY. VERY BITCH. he will cut a bitch to protect you. literally. ‘touch her and you die’ vibes.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
— i kinda feel like unless it’s something rly important, he wouldn’t put that much effort in but not bc he doesn’t care. bc you like to go over the top and plan out everything lol
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
— isn’t great at communication. prob bottles things up until he kinda blows up whoooops. he definitely tries but has a hard time opening up.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
— he cares, have u seen his lil tufts? isn’t obsessed but puts effort into his appearance. just wants to look good for you!!
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
— ummm yes. it takes a lot for him to open up & be comfortable around someone so if you just weren’t there anymore, for whatever reason, he would feel incomplete
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
— imagining him getting ready for date and he’s styling his lil tufts and ur waiting on him like ‘babe hurry we’re gonna be late!!’ and he’s just trying to perfect his hair so he looks good for you omg
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
— as a yapper this hurts to say but… if you talk too much i feel like it’d annoy him. just imaging you going on and on and on and in his head he’s like ‘get to the mf point ohmygoddddd’
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
— like i mentioned earlier, accidentally falling asleep on the couch lol. sorry but he snores and you have to shake him to make him stop
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obsessedwrhys · 5 months
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|| BRYON DATING HEADCANONS ||
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ just fluff, reader is gn!! (I've been meaning to do him lol)
Let's be honest, if you were to become his significant other, you would need an awfully lot of patience.
That's because he's not much of a social person, he knows who are his people and that's enough for him.
Personally, I think the only way you'd be friends with him is if you knew someone close to him. Maybe Lorsan or Lyca being the one who introduces him to you.
He doesn't like loud people. No hate. He just finds it stressful as it overwhelms his senses easily.
That's why it comes easily that he prefers someone's who's gentle and kind. Call it cliché but he appreciates beauty when he sees it.
Once your friendship starts to blossom, you'll start to notice the little things he does for you.
How he'd always be there for you if you needed some company, how he would provide you the book you had told him just the other day and how he would listen intently to your opinions even when he doesn't agree with them.
It all made you fall for him just that easy.
However, you didn't expect him to return those feelings because well, you just felt that he was way out of your league. He was too good to be true you know? So when he confessed it turned your world upside down.
Scenario ↴
You'd find yourself seated on a hill, enjoying the sunset with your eyes closed as the cold breeze blew on your face. It was nice to catch a break after finishing a handful of tasks. Suddenly you heard sounds of footsteps approaching from behind, you looked over your shoulder to see it was no other than Bryon.
"I hope I haven't disturbed you, would you mind if I share this view with you?" He'd ask politely.
"Not at all, go ahead" With your approval, he sat himself beside you. The absent of his falcon caught your attention.
"Where's Elona?"
"She's getting her rest. The battles these days have been draining" He said and you nodded to his words before turning to stare at the orange sky.
Neither of you said anything but you both found comfort in each other's presence. Due to his acute hearing, you had a feeling that he enjoyed this peaceful moment just as much as you was right now.
"May I say something?" He said which caught your interest.
"Of course, you don't need to ask" You said and it had him at ease a bit.
Though the way his jaw clenched as if he was debating on what to speak made you wonder if it was something serious.
"(Y/N), I'm afraid I have fallen for you..." He said. You had almost forgotten how to breath properly when you heard him.
"I don't know when it began... it seems like the feeling was always there. But I don't mind it. I choose not to fight these thoughts... because I love that I'm in love with you" He smiled softly at you, the blush on your face making you look ever more adorable to him.
"I wouldn't mind being yours as there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you...ah... my apologies, I'm getting ahead of myself... I didn't give you the time to speak" He said by the time he noticed that your lips were parted in shock. You quickly gained back your composure once the attention was on you.
"I uh... wow... okay..." You rubbed your arm awkwardly. Eventually you were able to think straight after calming yourself down.
"I actually feel the same way Byron... I just didn't think you'd think of me like that" You looked at him, your eyes sparkling with joy.
"Oh (Y/N)... you're all that I think about..."
When the relationship was settled, everyone congratulated you two. Especially Lorsan, he was quick to wish you both endless happiness. You had to admit, from the village's reaction, it almost felt like you two just got married.
His companion, Elona would definitely see you as her owner after a few weeks into the relationship. If he trusts you, she trusts you as well.
In the relationship, Bryon is very loving and observant. The reason why I say observant is because he'll always be fast to know what are your likes and dislikes.
Oh someone offered you a fruit you don't like? He'll simply just take it for you. There's a sale going on at the market and they have one of your favourite things on display? Watch him be the first to be in line to get it.
He also knows when you're lying about something. He hates it however when you lie about not being sick or not being cold because taking care of you is LITERALLY his job!! Besides he doesn't mind babying you, he adores you!
That's why I think his kisses are delicate and soft, most of times he'd hum when kissing but he does it unconsciously because he's completely lost in the moment, if you placed your hands on his chest, you could feel the vibrations from his voice. In a way it's like he's purring.
He loves it the most when you run your hands all over his chest when kissing. It makes him fall even harder than he already has.
If we're talking about PDA, I think he's not that against it but he's also not that crazy about it. He's willing to hold your hand, having hugs and kisses but if you initiate anything that's crossing the line or could make anyone uncomfortable then he'll simply give you a soft smile and shut your thoughts out with a simple forehead kiss.
He enjoys cuddling by the way. He enjoys it the most when you both are like covered in layers of blanket. You once teased him for it, calling it his bird nest which ended becoming an inside joke.
Like you'd be having a conversation with Lorsan and he's trying to be as patient as possible waiting for you to finish but knowing his friend, he's most likely never gonna stop talking so he'd politely invite himself into the conversation.
"Darling... can we go back to the birds nest?" He'd say, meaning he's in desperate need of cuddles. You would smile at his cute request and nod.
"BIRD'S NEST!? (Y/N), is he holding you captive???"
Expectedly, his pet names would be more of the lovey dovey stuff. He'd call you things like darling, sweetheart, baby, and even pumpkin. He enjoys your reaction each time cause you never know which one he'll use.
"You're adorable when you pout darling... oh alright, I'll buy you the candy you want. Only if you promise me a kiss after"
He's a romantic. There's no denying it. This man's love language is 100% act of service.
He's the type to light up dozens of candles at the entrance of the door so that the first thing you are greeted when coming home would be a fancy candlelit dinner prepared just for you.
He also happens to run the shower for you just as you're about to arrive home, he even places flower petals to add some scent to the mood. Anything to help you relax.
He's more of a giver than a receiver but if you ever showered him in love. He's positive that he'll faint. Even a simple "I love you" can cause him to smile all cheerfully.
You also happen to be one of the few people to see his eyes. Obviously he doesn't wear the blindfold to sleep so that's how you were able to get the chance to see him without it.
His eyes are beautiful. A perfect shade of light green and yellow, almost resembling eyes of a bird. They were pearls that entrapped you in a daze that you couldn't help but stare into them each time you cuddled with him.
He didn't mind but rather find it cute how you were in awe from his irises.
Another thing I want to point out is he enjoys holding hands with you, whatever it is, he just finds your hands fascinating.
You two could be cuddled in bed and he'd just have your hand placed on his, his fingers gently trailing against the skin of your palm.
"I love the way your hand fits in mine... it's almost like destiny..." He'd utter.
Since it's canon he has a soothing voice, you can expect him to sing you lullabies or just any song to help you go to sleep if you ever had trouble sleeping.
If you did have a nightmare, trust him to be there to hold you in his arms as he hums you a melody.
Honestly? He's just like Prince Charming but better.
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lovedrruunk · 6 months
Text
‘General Venture dating headcanons!
Authors note; literally wrote all of this during my genocide and holocaust studies class.… I’m going to hell…Also guys idk whether to use “y/n” or not like I can’t help but cringe… is it corny or no gah idk ALSO AUGHHH IM SUCH A LIAR im literally so behind on all my assignments!!!! And I still have requests to do whatever whatever enjoy!!!
They’re very secure as a person (and they trust you lots!) so I don’t think they’d get easily jealous but when they are they're sneaky with it, they’d be the type to like sabotage lolol
“Do you think I have a chance?”
“Oh with (____) ? Yea sure but just so y’know they were only recently discharged from the psyche ward…”
“Oh…”
“Yea… doctors said they’d never be the same ..… poor thing…..
( ^◡^)”
They’re actually just the sweetest most understanding s/o ever like genuinely let them know all your of worries, share all your burdens, they happily will!!
Will DIE if they ever made you upset. Like would start genuinely tweaking and going crazy. Will buy every gift and write so many letters apologizing for whatever they’d done until you’re happy again
Even worse if they make you mad like omg ESPECIALLY IF UR GIVING THEM THE SILENT TREATMENT
do be expecting them outside your window with a boombox on their head playing some old romantic Spanish saop opera song
They seem like the type who can’t cook for shit (I’m projecting here) BUT they will try just for you! They’ll attempt to cook your favorite foods… please lie to them!!
Absolutely loves to spoil / do things for you but if you do the same they freak out, lots of ‘You shouldn’t have!’s and ‘Shuckssss teehehehe’
Of COURSEEE gifts you lots of pretty rocks!!! Constantly. Your house might have a random rock in every corner but hey what can you do? what’s that? Refuse to take it? Yea if you want them to die!!!! You might as well have just ripped their heart out! just say you hate them and never wanna see them ever again!!!
Speaking of… lots of dramatics. However they’re smart enough to know when to stop so it’s not to the point of being annoying or anything! They can’t help but be playful, it’s in their blood
Not only are they a terrible cook but they're a terrible driver as well, there's definitely a hidden drawer filled with all their tickets... somebody get them off the damn road!
Treats the drill like a pet lol, y'know those jokes about pitbulls named princess? That's for sure what's going on here. Yea it's a dangerously massive drill meant to effortlessly barrow through solid ground but it's also their little meowmeow so?? Their admiral turbo meowington? If you suggest they wash it from all the dirt and grime they'll pout and say something stupid like; "but but flufflestiltskin hates the bath"
That's all I can think of right now but I'm sure there's more cooking in the back of my head!! Hope you like it, this was rlly fun lolol (IM SO IN LOVE WITH THEM SOMEONE SEDATE ME.)
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feyhunter78 · 7 months
Note
I just found your page and I totally didn’t read all of your Miguel O’Hara fics. One I love how you write kissing you caught that spark off a kiss with someone you love in a way most books don’t get right.
I can’t sit here and sing your praise all day but I do have a question. Fully up to you and if it’s just a Drabble that ok but will you ever being writing something else for Side walk kisses? It’s so cute and I can see more moments with Miguel and Y/N just being silly cute mindless college students so helplessly in love. Fluff smut angst whatever you decide to Drabble in I will be fully ok with
(This is the first time I’ve done an ask so sorry I I seem a little over excited)
AHHH I love when I'm people's first asks, it always makes me feel so special!!! I thought I'd try my hand at a bit of angst for you anon!
Insecurities
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You know you shouldn’t be jealous. Shouldn’t feel bad about yourself, shouldn’t be debating making up some excuse and dashing off to the humanities building to rid yourself of this pit in your stomach like a snake sheds its skin.
But that would require leaving Miguel alone with Xina, and you think you’d rather die than do that. So, you’re stuck in the courtyard right outside the library, holding onto Miguel’s bicep possessively as you struggle to keep up with the flow of conversation.
Now you wouldn’t say you’re an insecure person, sure you have your insecurities like everyone else, but they don’t plague your mind, or weigh heavily on you as you go about your day-to-day business. Right now, though? As you take in Xina, her long thick dark hair, her stunning almond eyes that sparkle with intelligence, the flawlessness of her skin, the way she so easily keeps up with Miguel as they discuss the intersection between genetics and robotics, you’re feeling pretty insecure.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking, when making your calculations you have to factor in the deficiencies in the code, just as you have to factor in potential genetic flaws.” Xina says, a smile tugging at the edge of her lips, excitement clear on her face.
“Of course, with genetics it’s harder to eradicate flaws than in code, but I could see it following a similar pattern.” Miguel responds, nodding at her words.
You’re so lost. If they wanted to discuss the intricacies of the English language or the way philosophers can so heavily affect the development of a nation’s culture you would be there, front row and ready, but science? Science is not your forte.
Xina laughs and smacks Miguel’s arm, pulling you out of your thoughts, Miguel is laughing too so you do the same which draws her attention to you.
“Oh, y/n, I’m so sorry, we’ve been so rude, what do you think?” She asks, and you can’t tell if she’s genuinely curious, or just hates you.
You stumble for a moment, then say, “I agree with Miguel.”
She laughs again. “You think Charles Darwin would be a good computer programmer?”
Miguel joins in, and for the first time ever his laughter sounds sour to your ears.
“Oh, um, no, I just—”
Xina smiles sympathetically at you, but it feels a bit patronizing. “It’s okay, not everyone can keep up with us.”
Okay, maybe running and hiding was a good idea.
“Y/N is actually top of her sorority for GPA, she’s read more books than anyone else I know, and she helps me write all my lab reports.” Miguel jumps in.
“That’s so cute.” Xina coos, looking at you as if you were a kindergartener presenting her with a crayon scribbled drawing.
You give her a tight smile, then squeeze Miguel’s bicep. “Hey, I’m gonna head to class, but I’ll see you later?”
He nods, and lets you go, reabsorbed in his conversation with Xina.
You toy with the bracelet Miguel got you as you sit at your desk, waiting for class to start. It’s a pretty thing, a birthday present, simple and elegant, highlighting your birthstone, the words, mi dulce, engraved on the inside in a small, flowy script. It jingles pleasantly as you mess with it, and glints under the florescent lights.
“The professor isn’t here yet, right?” Kelsey slides into her desk next to you and starts unpacking her bag.
“No, he’s running a little late.” You say, absentmindedly shading one corner of the blank page in your notebook with your pencil.
“Okay, good because I have something kinda fucked up to show you.” She says, pulling out her phone and scrolling until she finds what she’s looking for.
You lean towards her, the thought of gossip perking you up a bit.
“So, you know that Ava girl, the bitch who used to date your man?”
“I wish I didn’t, but yes.” You grumble, feeling that familiar gloom settle back over you.
“Okay well she’s been trying to get with this Kappa Sig, and you know how the brothers are like obsessed with me because my brother is their president and an absolute legend as they always remind me.”
“Yeah, it’s the reason we got into their parties freshman year.”
Kelsey’s brother was a decent guy, all things considered. Older than you two by a year or so, with the charisma of a cult leader but lacking the desire to start a cult. Throughly satisfied with his fraternity and the Fortune 500 company he’ll go on to work at once he graduates. He was nice enough, extending his protection to you and anyone else close to his sister while in the Kappa Sig house.
“So, one of them texted me about her trying to sleep her way through the frat, but then, my brother sent me this video. I gotta warn you, it’s not school appropriate.” She says as she slowly turns the screen towards you.
At first, you recoil. It’s Ava, half naked, and some guy, on a bed that looks vaguely familiar. The guy’s face is out of the frame, but he’s shirtless, his pants pushed down exposing his dick to the camera, Ava’s hand wrapped around it pumping furiously. “Um, what the fuck is this?”
“Just wait.” Kelsey says quietly, glancing around the room to make sure no one else is watching. They’re not, they’re too busy with their own phones or side conversations.
You half watch the video, feeling weird about watching, your idea of a good time isn’t watching your boyfriend’s psycho ex jack some guy off.
The guy finishes, his hips bucking and Ava saying something you can’t hear since Kelsey’s sound is off.
The camera shakes as Ava picks it up and shows off the face of the man. Dark hair, glazed brown eyes with hints of crimson, perfectly formed lips parted. You know that face, but you don’t want to accept it.
“Is that Miguel?” You’re horrified, sick to your stomach, head spinning, every unpleasant feeling and sensation you could feel erupting all at once.
You can see Ava go to grab his face, guide him lower, moving to take off her underwear, and you turn your head, unable to watch any longer.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know when it was filmed, but Darren said he had one of the brothers send it to him yesterday then made all of them delete the video from their phones. He knows Miguel’s your boyfriend, said he was just looking out for you.” Kelsey puts away her phone and looks at you, eyes searching your face, before giving you a one-armed hug. “I’m so sorry y/n, I can ask him to see if he can find out when it was filmed?”
You want to cry, you really, really want to cry. “It looks recent, that’s Miguel’s bed, I’ve been there, I’ve slept on that bed, I—I can’t think about this right now. Thank you for telling me, and tell your brother I said thanks too.”
Kelsey nods and squeezes you tighter before letting go and giving you a sad smile.
The professor finally shows up, and you throw yourself into your notetaking, graphite digging into the pristine white paper as you try to drown out the images in your head with the sound of your professor droning on.
Part 2 here!!!
TL: @bat-bae, @nyctophilic0vitnir, @smokeywhalee, @obi-mom-kenobi, @prowlingforfood, @penggion, @crystal-crax, @oharasfilipinawife, @generalkenobitrash, @melsimps, @chrishy973, @farrowroyale, @palesatan, @scaryplanetdestroyer, @denzmallows, @36namey, @scoobysnakz, @ihateuguys, @idkbros-world @smartyren, @deputy-videogamer, @blackrose8425, @amberpanda99, @marshhbs, @queerponcho
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caeunot · 8 months
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hii first of all i love your writing and im so glad i came across your fics 🖤 i was wondering if you could maybe write a johnnie x fem reader, enemies to lovers fic? or something along the lines of johnnie and fem reader always bullying each other a bit only to realise they've been crushing on each other the whole time?
johnnie guilbert x reader
enemies to lovers 18+
➷ you hated his guts, everything about him irritated you and made your skin crawl. you are friends with jake and you absolutely love him to bits so you spending time with him normally equals to you having to be around johnnie. these feelings aren't without reason though, your not the type of girl to hate on others very easily.
it happened a few years back, when your own youtube career recently jumpstarted and you started spending time with other similar youtubers near you. this is how you originally met johnnie, even before jake. you were first invited to a party hosted by some popular la youtuber at the time and you obviously took the invite since you knew this would not only help you make more friends in the industry but to also promote yourself!
you were greeting everyone and taking many pictures as the night went on, fully using this opportunity to the best of your ability. as it hit 12 you decided to look around and scope out the last person you want to introduce yourself to before you head home. you saw a short-ish guy with deep red emo hair swooped to the side with harsh makeup around his eyes and you were immediately intriged. you preferred a more grunge look yourself so seeing someone with such familiar fashion made you feel at ease.
"hey im y/n!" you say, introducing yourself. "do I know you?" he says coldly as he turns to see who was speaking to him. "no but everyone will soon the way my channel is going" you say with some sass so you can counter his rudeness. "you have way too much confidence" he says with a smirk. "so I've been told".
"what's your name?" you ask, "my names johnnie, johnnie guilbert". "well nice to meet you johnnie" you say with a smile. "what do you do for a living? if I can ask", " I make youtube videos and I also make some music on the side!" he says. you two talk for a little longer before you check the time seeing its quite past what you had planned. "hey it was great meeting you! I don't want to stay too long so I think I should get going!"
as you say goodbye and walk away you feel him grab you by your wrist, you turn around. "wait don't go yet, your the most interesting person I've spoken to today and I don't want to go home just yet" you bite your lip, "fine, how about I just walk you to your car then". he rolls his eyes, "is that all? anyways I don't even have a car, I came with uber"
"wait why did you take an uber?", you say confused, "do I really have to say". "yes", " okay, I can't drive.. happy?" you scrunch up your face, you don't feel comfortable letting him go home with an uber this time of night. "I don't mind giving you a lift! then you can talk to me during the ride all you want"
you walked him to your car and he got in on the passenger seat, let me just say that convincing him to let you take him home was harder than you imagined, but you could see in his face he appreciated it.
"why are you doing this again?" he asks as you start driving. "because I'm a nice person and I don't trust ubers". he nods, "I like your piercings" he says, observing your face in the dim lighting. "thanks!" you say as you stick out your tongue, showing your snake eyes. "oh shit I've never seen that in person before, it looks great". you blush slightly, "it was pretty painful and it's hard to upkeep but I don't regret it at all".
he brushes his hands through his hair, probably anxious from the small talk. "this might sound weird but, do you have a girlfriend" you ask. "I don't, why?", "it's because I figured that if u did she would be the one driving u home from a party, so I was just curious". "haven't had one in years", he says leaning back. "really? your really hot so I'd imagine girls would be all over you".
he laughs, "maybe in the past but not anymore, my sense of fashion and my lack of confidence kinda makes getting a girlfriend hard" he says, opening up to you effortlessly. "I think emo guys are hot" you turn and look at him.
"what are you implying?" he says, giving a lewd grin. "that if I had the choice to either have sex with you or not have sex with you that I would". you notice him squirm slightly in his seat. "if you mean that, pull over" he says
you do as he says and you climb into the back seat. you crawl into his lap and find yourself grabbing and pulling on anything you can find as you feel his tounge slip deep into your mouth, tasting the alcohol he had ingested that night. you wish you could recall the rest but you were much drunker than you thought you were and ended up slightly blacking out.
the moral of the story is that you gave him your number, and he never came back after that. not a call, not even a single text. you never ever hooked up with guys, this was your first time. and you hate how knowing a guy for just one hour could make you feel such strong feelings towards him, for johnnies case those feelings were a mix of lust and disgust.
back to current times, you ended up meeting jake a year later and that's when you saw johnnie again for the first time since that night. but instead of apologizing or at least being honest he instead found himself ignoring you. this frustrated you the most, you despise a man who cannot own up to his actions, let alone not even acknowledging them. every time you found yourself around him you felt your blood boil and you just wanted to give him a peice of your mind, but you can't.
you can't since it's been 5 months since and neither of you have said anything at all, 5 months of pure pretend. jake noticed your dislike towards his roommate but he didn't want to get involved in any issues that didn't require him, which you appreciated greatly.
after a lot of convincing, jake did eventually get the both of you to film a video together with him. it was one of those food rating videos and the goal was to order one type of food for everyone, jake said that I will do the drinks, johnnie the main and jake the desert. you were dreading this.
and you have been dreading this day for the past month since jake started bringing it up. you couldn't even handle being in the same room as him for a few minutes let alone a whole video.
"let's plan what we will order now so that we don't have to think to hard tomorrow!' jake says as you sat down on the couch next to him and opposite from johnnie. "I already know what I'm making you guys eat", "let it be actual food and not just chicken nuggets please" jake says jokingly. "knowing johnnie he will probably poison mine" you say with a scoff. a few minutes later jake started getting a call from someone and had to leave, aka leaving you alone with johnnie.
"why would you say that?" johnnie said to you the moment jake left the room. "say what?", "say that I'd poison your food, it's rude". you laugh from the pure nerve this guy has. "don't fuck with me, don't act like your the victim here". "says the one starting unnecessary shit". " I'm not starting anything, you started and I'm just continuing". the tension in the room was cut as jake walks back in, "sorry guys that was my studio, anyways where were we!" he looks between the two of you and johnnie gets up and leaves, saying he's not feeling well.
that evening you sat down in the passengers seat of jakes car, you breathe in and out meditatively to calm your nerves. "okay everything is orderd we just gotta wait for the food!" jake says climbing into his seat of the car and started prepping for the recording. you fiddle with your rings and move around your hair for a solid 12 minutes before johnnie got in the car with the food in hand.
the video started off fine, you didn't laugh at his jokes and he didn't laugh at yours. you two didn't even make eye contact, that was untill it was jakes turn. "okay guys for johnnie I got him a really massive chocolate chip cookie because hes a basic bitch and I got y/n a gummy lunchable because she's never had one" you laugh since the idea for having gummy pizza seems so obscure. "jake that's so wrong you know I love lunchables". jake turns to you as if implying you should give him a piece.
"I rather not" you say softly, but not soft enough to where johnnie couldn't hear you, "it's literally just a lunchable what's your problem". " I never said I had a problem, it's not my fault you don't have manners and can't ask for something yourself". "I literally just said that I love lunchables, stop starting shit were recording".
jake turns around to face the both of you, "what the fuck guys, what's your problem", you look at johnnie, "ask him". " you guys are acting like fucking toddlers either tell me what happened or just sort your issues alone, like now" he says as he gets out of his car, "there's no point in keeping on filming so let's just go inside okay".
you go inside and sit down and you feel as if your in the third grade getting detention from your angry teacher Mr Webber. "so.. what happend, you two have been like this since the moment you met and I don't understand, y/n, johnnie,I love you both so much but I can't handle this bad energy", you stay quiet and so does johnnie. "okay if you guys are going to be like that I'm going to my room, just please sort something out because I promised our fans we were doing a collab". he says walking off into his room.
you bite the inside of your mouth and look around, not able to handle the awkward silence. "johnnie I just have to ask you one question, why?" he makes an upset face, "what do you mean 'why'", " you know what I mean" you say in almost a defeated tone. you stand up and walk towards where he is sitting, "I mean why didn't you text me back, why did you ghost me" he looks away. "don't be a coward please, im tired of our crap". upon hearing this he stands up.
"fine okay, I'm a fucking coward. I was too scared to message you back because I was drunk and you were drunk and I knew for a fact that nothing would happen between us because I mean look at you, your gorgeous and I know if we somehow started something in the future I would feel so guilty that we hooked up the night we met, I've only ever had sex with two people y/n!! that's you and my ex and I feel guilty for it every day because sleeping with random people is not me!!"
your feel as if your in shock, almost frozen in place. you brush your hand through your hair about to say something but nothing comes out. "I never met to hurt you at all I just, I'm stupid I'm fucking st-" you cut him off by putting your lips on his, he doesn't push you away and instead takes his arms and grabs onto you tight while pushing you against the nearest wall. "I sware I'm not usually like this" he says, breaking the kiss,"you just.. do something to me"
'fuck' you mutter as you grab onto his hair as the kiss becomes more and more passionate. he takes his hands off the wall and starts to remove your baby tee, exposing your lacy black bra. as he did this you hear something behind you and look to see jake, his mouth dropped right to the floor. johnnie immediately stood in front of you to cover your exposed skin and when he heard jake walk away he helped you put your shirt back on. "I'm so sorry" he says with the most guilty look on his face.
"shh don't be it's okay!" you say holding his face and giving him a soft kiss, "I definitely overreacted to everything because of how much I liked you, it hurt me so much that someone I felt so strongly about could shove me aside like you did". " I haven't gone a day without regretting what I did" he says. you felt so relieved that this issue between you two was finally sorted out.
"what now?" you ask, indentifying the elephant in the room. "its my turn to say sorry I shouldnt have kissed you like that it was impulsive and careless of me".
"y/n". " yes?", you ask completely confused. "I've never met someone I've wanted more then you in this moment, I want you and all of you" he says walking towards you and holding your waist, "let's not torture each other as we have, please" you smile "I'm all yours".
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joocomics · 6 months
Note
Hii can u do what XH likes to do or how they’ll act if they’re jealous? Thank you!
cw: none
a/n: this might be a little bit messy, but expressing my thoughts on more angsty topics like this isn’t my strongest point when it’s not a drabble oof i apologise in advance if this isn’t what you expected, anonie! even a bit over the place i still hope you enjoy the read. ty for stopping by 🫶🏼
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♡ gunil
i think he’d be good at hiding it, so if it happens a few times - most of them you might not notice that he’s being jealous until later. but it really depends on the situation and the person he’s being irritated by. i see him pretty protective as a boyfriend, and if someone is really getting on his nerves he might turn quiet and reserved; just thinking about how he wants to drag you out of the place with a hand on your waist cause he hates how they’re looking at you. after you’re finally left alone his feelings would immediately show, and he wouldn’t try to hide them; he couldn’t even if he tried. he’d sit down to talk to you about it, and after you assure him there’s nothing to worry about he’d calm down, and treat you like a princess till the rest of the night (he always treats you like that but when he’s jealous he really goes all out)
♡ jungsu
it’s a little bit difficult to put my thoughts together when it comes to him. on one side i see him get jealous easily, but then not so much. i see him being more vulnerable when it comes to this in the beginning stages of your to-be-relationship - when you’re in the talking stage, going on dates, but still haven’t talked about anything more than that. when he’s jealous he might overthink things a bit, and contemplate for a while if it’s something that he should bring up or not. that’s why i see him waiting to see if ‘this something’ happens again or grows into something bigger. if not, eventually he would just add it into the conversation lightly without any conflict in mind. when you show him he’s the only one you’re interested in, he most likely would double the physical contact while also putting his arm around you, and grabbing your hand more confidently in public
♡ jiseok/gaon
in a relationship i see him keeping his jealousy moments to himself, and i think those jealousy moments won’t be many tbh. he might even feel good if he catches guys checking you out, cause he knows you’re all his and you would never give those guys even a crumble of your attention. if someone tries to spark a conversation that rubs him the wrong way he’d be extra touchy with you or pull you on his lap, but he won’t feel the urge to bring it up after you’re left alone, cause in his mind that would be unnecessary. if you make him feel secure and loved, then i don’t see him paying too much attention to his temporary sparks of jealousy. he might even make a joke about it to make you laugh, “did you see that guy checking you out? in front of me?!”
♡ seungmin/o.de
i see him a mixture of jiseok and gunil. a part of him would feel good, proud even, that his gorgeous girlfriend is desired by people who can’t have her, but if someone tries to cross a boundary he’d hold you close and change the direction of the conversation. his body language when he’s with you would always be enough of a sign that you’re together, and there’s a chance depending on the situation he might get overprotective, but in a subtle way if that even makes sense? he wouldn’t want to ruin your mood on the spot or make you uncomfortable, so he would wait for you to get home and talk about it. the conversation would be chill and would end in a lot of soft kisses and i love you-s
♡ hyeongjun/junhan
oh he would be so obvious when he’s jealous. it won’t be difficult for you to catch him cause the emotions would be written all over his serious face. if you ask him about it he’d do his best to convince you he’s not jealous at all, cause he wouldn’t want to seem insecure in front of you. he’d laugh it off, but on the inside he’d be thinking about it all day, especially if you’re still not officially together; if you are it would fade down more quickly. he wouldn’t get extra touchy or something like that like the rest of the members, because he’d be too much in his head; he wouldn’t want anyone to notice (even though he suddenly goes quiet in the middle of the conversation?)
♡ jooyeon
i just have to bring up the perilla leaf debate here, and how quick he was with his answer - that his s/o will not help out his guy friend with separating those leaves. even if this clip didn’t exist i’d still be a firm believer that he’s the jealous type of boyfriend. he’d get jealous easily, and you’d always notice the subtle changes in his mood. he’d never do anything to frustrate you during the moment, and he’d try his best to be chatty and all with a hand on your thigh or around your shoulder. he’d play with your hair, with your hand, and he’d lean in your ear to whisper you things all of a sudden. people who know him well can always tell when he’s being jealous, but those who don’t wouldn’t notice a thing. he’d most likely be grumpy and extra affectionate after you get home
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signedkoko · 8 months
Note
i want to request you headcanon when Y/N is manipulated by a demon hostile to Vox (which may not be Alastor) to try to physically harm Vox against Y/N's will.
I'm sorry if my sentence has something wrong (_ _;) 
i'm Japanese so i don't have enough English skill
Vox X Reader [Romantic]
In which a demon manipulates you into trying to harm Vox. Reader is genderneutral.
Warnings - Attempted drugging | Vox yells at you for a bit </3
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You've been together for many years now, long since you shared vows and became a celebrity couple all of hell wish they could be
You'd developed a schedule together, waking up in each other's arms, taking turns cooking meals, and planning your next date night, vacation, outing, whatever distracted you both from the work ahead of you
Many people came and went in either of your lives—too many to track—so you came to trust those closest to you
Velvette and Valentino never went; the three Vees flourished while you watched, one of the many moving parts of the machine that pulled their franchise above all others
Neither of you would have expected it to be someone so close to you trying to ruin it all
Valentino had many people come and go in his romantic life, but only one returned again and again, no matter how much you and Vox hated him: Dia
He was Valentino's assistant, one that was obsessive—you knew it was unhealthy, but Valentino liked that sort of thing, so you stayed out of it
Every time you spoke to Dia, they always got too close, too personal, asked you if you were cheating on Vox, if you wanted Val, and if you'd ruin his relationship
It always escalated from there, so you avoided them
But obsessiveness doesn't go away so easily, and being Valentino's personal toy meant they had all the drugs they could ever want on hand
Even the kinds only demonic princes could handle
" Oh! Hey! "
Dia called out to you one evening as you were just entering the building, home from running some errands
They handed you a gift box, seemingly in a rush
" Val says its for Vox! "
Your curiosity was piqued, but you knew better than to go snooping into anything Val did
So you did as per with any mail and sat it on Vox's desk since he was out
His office was on a separate floor from where you lived, but you knew he was more likely to get more work done before coming to see you
Hours later, while cleaning up from a hobby of yours, Vox slammed into the house, startling you to the point where you dropped your things
" Did you think that was funny? I could have died! What the hell is wrong with you!? "
You were so caught off guard by his screaming that you were completely silent
" Had my auto scanners not gone off, I would have eaten that; it would have melted me from the inside out! Are you crazy??? "
" Vox please! What are you talking about? "
" I already saw the footage of you putting this shit in my office; you put your name on the tag and everything! The chocolates? "
" Chocolates...? "
You managed to connect the dots, covering your mouth
" Check the lobby footage, 1:20 pm-ish, please Vox! "
When he eventually rolled it back, he was just as frustrated
Hes a swearing mess for a moment, until he apologetically pulls you into him
He feels absolutely horrible; of course you wouldn't do that to him- hell, how would you even get your hands on hydrofluoric acid?
But as the guilt subsides with your comforts, he becomes more than frustrated
Fuck, he's absolutely livid
Not only did they almost kill him, but Dia tried to frame you
He can't imagine what might have happened to you had they been successful
" Stay home and don't let anyone in. I think it's about time Val gets a new side bitch. "
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Author's Note - I hope I understood your request well! My requests were closed when you sent this in, but I liked the prompt a lot so I'll let it slide this once... Thank you 🖤
385 notes · View notes
redrose10 · 8 months
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Chapter 10 is here! I thought I was going to be able to post this yesterday but here we are. Comments and messages are appreciated. Even if I don’t always respond I do read them all.
Yoongi X Female Reader. CEO/Arranged Marriage AU
Summary: You were selected to marry the wayward CEO/Billionaire/Heir, Min Yoongi. You went into it with an open mind and heart determined to try and make it work. Yoongi on the other hand had no intention of ever letting you in let alone allowing himself to fall in love with you. Slowly you start to associate the smell of cinnamon and vanilla with the feelings of hurt and sorrow.
Word count: 1,922
Warnings: (May get updated as chapters progress): Arranged marriage, cheating/infidelity, hints of smut (Probably won’t get very explicit but we’ll see how it goes), Sexual Assault, Brief mentions of death, Reader grew up an orphan, General Angst, Swearing
Tag list: @gimeow @kam9404 @viankiss @baechugff @gaby-93 @kayleefriedchicken @igot7fairlyoddparents @jalexad
You and Yoongi both jumped up at Jimins revelation.
“What? How did they know we were here?”, you asked.
“I don’t know. Just don’t panic Y/N. I’ll handle it.”
“What’s going on?”, Jimin asked.
“A very long story but basically Suri’s brother Hwan assaulted me at the charity event and Yoongi punched him so I’m thinking this probably has something to do with that.”, you replied.
Jimin’s mouth dropped open, but before he could speak the bell rang through the apartment signaling someone was at the door and your stomach did a flip. Quickly you put your hand in Yoongi’s while Jimin answered the door. He came walking back with both Suri and Hwan and also the two police officers.
The older officer stepped forward handcuffs already out, “Mr.Min you’re going to have to come with us?”
“May I ask what this is about?”, he questioned.
“Mr. Min you are under arrest for the assault on Hwan Cho.”
The officer turned Yoongi around placing the cuffs on his wrists. You sprang forward, “No you don’t understand. Yoongi was saving me. Hwan was the one that assaulted me.”
The other officer stepped in, “Miss you can meet us down at the station. We’ll get a statement from you and we’ll go from there but since they got to us first Mr. Min needs to come with us right now.”
You continued to protest with tears forming in your eyes until Yoongi turned to look at you, “It’s going to be okay Y/N. Just call Jin and tell him to meet us at the police station.” You nodded watching as the two officers walked him out of the apartment with Hwan following close behind reveling in seeing his enemy in hand cuffs.
Jimin ran off with his phone to make some calls that he knew would be needed leaving you standing in the living room with Suri. She walked over until she was standing right in front of you. Her perfume smelled like a lighter more feminine version of Yoongi’s. It was heavier on the vanilla but it still made your throat burn.
She smirked while looking you up and down. “So I finally get to meet the famous Y/N in person. I don’t really know what Yoongi sees in you.”
“Get the fuck away from me. I’m not going to fall for your mean girl tactics.”, you scoffed.
“I like that attitude. Maybe that’s what he sees. He has always had a thing for being dominated.”, she quipped.
She adjusted the buttons on her designer jacket before continuing, “Look I know a poor little orphan girl like yourself is used to being on the loosing side of life, but that’s not how I live. I ALWAYS get what I want. I want Yoongi and I don’t care what or who I have to ruin to achieve that. He will not just throw me away like yesterday’s trash. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Do you really think he’ll want to be with you if you release that tape and ruin his life? Or after having him arrested like this? If anything he’s just going to hate you even more.”
“Oh please. Yoongi will pay off the right people and he’ll be walking free before the morning. I only did this as a warning so he can see that I’m not going to easily back down this time.”She walked over to the front entrance grabbing a hold of the door handle before turning around to look at you.
“Also, who said that mix tape is the only thing I have that could ruin him? If he’s even half as smart as I think he is he’ll know better than to cut me out of his life.”
She turned and walked through the door letting it slam behind her. You stood staring at the spot she now left empty.
Jimin came running over to you handing you a jacket, “Come on Y/N, I already called Jin and he’s going to meet us at the station. We should get going.”
Unable to really form words you nodded and walked along with him to the parking garage.
Neither you nor Jimin spoke on the ride there. When you arrived Jin was already waiting by the entrance.
“They’re working on booking him in right now. Once that’s complete they said they’ll let me have some time with him.”
You reached out for his hands desperately trying to get your point across, “Jin he was only protecting me. That other guy was the aggressor, Hwan assaulted me. Yoongi didn’t do anything wrong.”
Jin nodded, “We’ll get this figured out Y/N. I’m gonna talk to Yoongi and then we’ll get a statement from you as well.”
You could feel tears starting to form again and you were so tired of crying.
“Hopefully Yoongi can just offer some money or something and that’ll get them to drop all the charges. That usually works anyways.”, Jimin said trying to comfort you. “Yeah I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”, Jin said opening the door for you and Jimin to walk into the station.
“Sit here. I’m going to go get an update.”, Jin said before walking into the back office. You and Jimin took a seat on one of the benches to wait.
After about twenty minutes Jin came walking over and smiled, “Okay Y/N, you can come back and see him for a little if you’d like.” You nodded and quickly jumped up following after Jin. He stopped and turned to you, “Yoongi is in the seventh room on the left. Head that way. I’m gonna stop in here and make a couple phone calls and I’ll be in shortly to talk to both of you.”
You nodded and began walking down the hall. While you were walking you kept your head looking to the left counting the doors to get to the seventh room so you didn’t notice the person coming out of one of the rooms on your right until you accidentally ran into them.
Stumbling backwards you started profusely apologizing, “Oh I am so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was go- Namjoon? What are you doing here?”
You heard some whispering followed by loud giggles. When you peaked around his broad shoulders you were surprised to see Suri and Hwan sitting at a table sipping some coffee in the same room that Namjoon had just walked out of.
“I’m sorry Y/N. I have to go.”, is all he said before walking off towards the exit barely even looking at you. Suri smirked when she noticed you standing there speechless and stunned.
When you were finally able to make your feet move you walked down to the room Yoongi was in. He looked tired and beat down and you felt bad for him. You walked over and wrapped your arms around him and he returned the gesture even though he was slightly taken back by your willingness to hug him like that.
“How are you doing?”, he whispered.
“Umm so I just ran into Namjoon in the hallway. He came out of the same room that Suri and Hwan are sitting in.”
Yoongi’s face instantly turned red, “I knew I never liked that fucking guy.” You tried to sooth him, “I don’t know what he’s up to but I’ll try to find out.”
Jin walked in and you quickly noticed his facial expression wasn’t as chipper as he normally is. After everyone took a seat he cleared his throat, “Alright so I’m sure we were all prepared for this but after some discussions the police officers are willing to “misplace the evidence” causing the charges to have to be dropped on behalf of the police department pending a cash payment of course.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Of course they are. Just ask them their price and let’s get it over with. I’d like to get out of here as soon as possible.”
Jin looked apprehensive and began nervously rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah I’ve already got it and it’s currently being taken care of by your accountant.”
“Okay so then why are we still here and why do you look so nervous then?”, Yoongi asked eyeing Jin.
Suddenly Jin pulled out his wallet, “I think it’s just because I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all day and I can’t concentrate. Here is my card, Y/N will you be a dear and go grab us something to eat please? There’s a great bbq place about ten minutes away. Have Jimin drive you.”
You looked at him confused at his sudden request. “What the hell? Jin no. You’re not sending her out in the middle of the night to get you food.”, Yoongi said furiously.
Jin gave Yoongi pleading eyes begging him to play along for everyone’s sake. Jin turned to you and smiled, “Here Y/N take the card. Get whatever you want for yourself and Jimin too. I’ve heard the strawberry milk shakes are to die for.”
You looked over at Yoongi and he nodded gesturing towards Jin’s outstretched hand.
Hesitantly you took the card and walked out of the room to go find Jimin and get the requested food.
“What is going on Jin?”, Yoongi asked getting more and more irritated.
“It seems that Suri expected for all charges to get dropped so she came prepared with something even more detrimental. She just dropped a pretty big bombshell on me and I thought it was best for Y/N to not find out about this right now, at least not from me.”
Jin took in a deep breath his fingers slightly trembling as he flipped through some paperwork, “Suri has something about you that she’s threatening to release to the media. It could really ruin your business but it will definitely ruin whatever you have going with Y/N. She said she will make it public unless you agree to her terms which I don’t think you’re going to like.”
“Okay and what exactly are her terms then?”
“She wants Y/N to not file any charges against Hwan for assaulting her. I advised that I think that it is possible but I would ultimately leave that up to Y/N.”
Yoongi nodded in agreement, “Of course as it should be up to Y/N.”
“Suri is also requiring that you either allow her to move into your penthouse with you or that you purchase another penthouse and you live with her there. She also expects you to continue a relationship with her as you have been until recently.”
Yoongi scoffed, “She has officially lost her fucking mind. I am not doing that under any circumstance. At this point I’d rather just let her release the tape and be done with it.”
Jin sucked in a quick breath, “Yoongi this much much bigger than any lyrics in a mixtape.”
Jin slid the photo he had been holding onto over to the other side of the table, “She gave me this and said you’d probably want to see it.” Looking at the photo in front of him Yoongi felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, his breathing became rapid and no matter how hard he tried he felt like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. The room began to spin as he looked around through blurry vision. He began shaking his head side to side mumbling, “No no no no…”
“Yoongi we need to get this sorted out immediately, especially if you want any chance of things to work out with Y/N.”, Jin said pointing to the sonogram lying on the table in front of them.
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mrsnancywheeler · 8 months
Text
silver springs
finnick odair x gn!reader
2k words
masterlist
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summary: finnick's cycle of self destruction stops for no one, even if it tears the two of you apart, but you refuse to fade into the past.
warnings: angst, lots of it, self destructive behavior, mentions of trafficking, allusions to consensual smut, reader values their virginity, arguments, break ups, trauma, unhealthy relationship dynamics, unhappy ending, but could be interpreted as hopeful if you want it to be, unedited, no use of y/n
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
Finnick knows he should just fall asleep, let himself rest and turn his brain off from overthinking, but he can't. You deserve better, so much better than the broken boy from District 4 who will forever be playing his role in the puppet show. Where you've fought the demons off with compassion for each person you've come across, it shames him how easily he can fall into the facade of the egotistical Capitol darling. Eventually his outlook will consume the joy you've harvested to forcefully in the depths of your heart and he knows not a minute will pass that he can look at himself in the mirror knowing he did that to you. So he has to end it, to let you be free for a much happier life, at least that's what he tells himself as he prepares for you to wake.
You're so beautiful in the moonlight that glows on your sleeping face and he's even more enthralled when the sun begins to rise and it's like you're an angel in the colors. He's not sure when he let a few tears shed thinking about how when you wake up it'll be the last time he sees you like this, but it's for the best. When you do hazily wake up, blankets falling off your bare body as you sit up, all your sleepy smiles make his heart clench even more, but his brain more certain.
“Good morning." You mumble out, leaning in for a kiss which he scoots away from and your incoherent brain snaps to attention. No matter how long it's been since you've been in the arena, you doubt that instinct will ever go away, the need to be constantly on edge if something seems slightly off, and he is. Finnick is usually the type to be just returning from a swim with some fish he caught in the morning or arms wrapped around you. “What's wrong?" You can feel a defense mechanism settling in with the numbness of your voice, had you really finally had the courage to let someone have your body only for them to pull away from your love the very next morning? What a cruel master the universe seemed to be no matter what cards you played.
Finnick's eyes were glossy and he rubbed his face as he sniffled, forcing the words out of his reluctant throat, “I don't think we should see each other anymore." Before the words have even finished tumbling out of his mouth you've pulled the blanket back up to cover your exposed chest. How could you be so cautious of something only for it to come from the person you least expected, apparently you weren't cautious enough.
“Oh." It's humiliating, if you could just disappear into the air you would give anything to do so. You can't cry, it would only further that humiliation, so you robotically move to the side of the bed to grab the panties that had been so lazily thrown off by him the night before. “Congrats on the score, Finnick, hopefully I'm worth a good amount of points." Your voice can't be allowed to crack or shake, but it's fighting against your willpower.
“It's not like that." Finnick quickly says, observing you, and he'll never say it, but he's scared. He doesn't want you to hate him, to break your heart, he just wants you to be free of his chains.
You scoff and have to force yourself to stand without the protection of the blanket so you can find the rest of your strewn about clothes. “I’m sure that's what you tell all of them.” All of us, he's always been a rumored playboy, but with what the Capitol did to him that was what you'd placed it on. Not that he played people, but that he was unfairly used, now you reasoned, two things could be true at once. Him having past partners had never bothered you when he began talking to you, but now you wondered how he left them. You glance back for less then a second when you see he's buried his head in hands, not answering.
He knows this isn't true, that he's doing this because he cares too much to let his darkness eat you alive. Maybe he'll even have to say that to you, so he won't have to live with the additional weight of your resentment.
“I just-" Your throat breaks on a sob you're holding back, “I know it's not important to everyone, but it was important to me, Finnick. I gave you something that I wasn't ready to give anyone else because I thought…” You sighed, "It doesn't matter what I thought, but it's so fucked that you took that away when you knew.” A stray tear has forced its way through which you're wiping away as soon as you can. Your pants are in a pile at the end of the bed which you quickly grab.
“I'm sorry." His voice isn't hiding the tears as he looks up from his hands, he's genuine and you can tell as much from his voice, but it doesn't stop the internal berating of being so stupid to finally share that intimate part of yourself when he would leave you hours later. “I didn't plan it like that, honey, I didn't."
“Please, don't call me that." He nods his head in retreat after your request that was meant to be more forceful, preferably he'd never speak to you again.
“You deserve better, so much better." You agree, the bare minimum would be a day before he broke the news not hours after you'd slept with him. “Better than me, I need you to have better.” He feels like a child, knees pulled up to his chest as he gives you up so you'll be far away from his destruction, but you feel more like a toy he's gotten bored of playing with. Like a hurricane it hits you that he means being with you, a sentiment he’s murmured many times in your relationship even if you insisted otherwise at each utterance. Yet you can no longer find it in you to assure him otherwise, no matter how much you disagree.
“Oh my god, this is the ‘woe is me, I'm Finnick Odair, so unlovable’ act again!” You could tear your hair out, "I could love you, Finnick! That's who could and I'm so sick of this push and pull thing you play at. But we are all dealing with things inside and you refuse to be, not even helped, but at least cared for!”
He's gotten up from the bed, shaking his head with as much intent as he can muster, "If you loved me it would kill you.”
"Says who?” You no longer care about whether or not you're keeping composure or yelling, you've spent every moment you can trying to assure him and within the hours you slept he decided to tear it all apart. "Oh right, just you! You and your endless piles of self doubt, I'm not asking for that to go away, but you could at least be open to hearing others out."
“It's for you, honey, I couldn't live with myself if I put you through that."
Any movements you were making stop as you stare at him, he's so honest, so eager, and you radiate an anger he despises himself for making, but wants to catch the last few sparks of before he leaves forever. “You are so selfish. Have you ever even considered the fact that I would suffer more without you, then with you, or were you too busy trying to punish yourself for not spending every moment of your life in a pile of guilt?”
He doesn't answer and you know it's a no. Part of you says it's wrong to tell a man who's always eating himself up from the inside that he's selfish, but you feel like you're on autopilot.
"I'm a person, Finnick! Everyone you've ever dated is. You do not get to play house for a year to live in a fantasy and then push us away whenever your thoughts are too much, that's why it doesn't work, you won't let it. And everyone who puts in the effort to love you, to care about you, has it all swept away when you're ready to wallow again. That way when you briefly decide it's over you can do it all over again.” You're pulling on the pants before you can look around for the shirt in some hidden spot.
Finnick feels like he's running cold, part of him knows you're right that his cycle is neverending, but you can understand, he tells himself. Even if you're a fellow victor, no one can help him, he's resigned himself to it and you're too light of a bubble to let you pop. So he has to live in denial, that he has to protect you from himself even if that is really what's attacking you now, “I care and I can't do this to you. You don't understand, I'm like a whirlpool waiting to suck everything in with me."
“You have." You find the shirt and button it up with fumbling fingers, blood pulsating in anger, sadness, and the want to beg him to change his mind and let you sit with forever. But you know you can't subject yourself to his cyclone of self-destruction any longer, not when you have your own struggles to deal with. The things you couldn't tell him about because of the constant pressure to be the light in his bleak outlook of the world, even when you were so tempted whenever it seemed like he was in his true state. The Finnick that was sweet and giving, or maybe you were an idealist wishing for a man that he could truly never be. “I won't fade into obscurity over you.” Your voice has become considerably softer and you gaze at his shaking body.
"What?” He asks, he knows that you won't understand why he has to do what he's convinced himself he must, but that doesn't prevent him from wanting to take it all back, embrace you, and promise to do better even if he knows he won't.
"I'm a victor too, Finnick. Every party, I'll be there, when you have to watch required programs on the television, I'll be there. I won't take a step back just because I'm hurt, we're all wounded dogs, Finnick, some of us just handle it better and I won't quiet myself just because it might remind you of another person you've pushed behind.”
“I'm not asking you too."
“No, but it's what you're used to. I'm not just someone else from home, you will always hear my voice, see my face, and I need you to know that. I want you to get better, Finnick, because I care about you more than you can even fathom, but I will be a hitch from what you're used to. You deserve to know that, I'm sorry if that makes it more difficult for you or maybe it's what you need. A wake-up call that whatever you're doing is what's actually hurting people not whatever fucked up fantasy it is you're listening to in your head.”
Finnick wanted you to know how much you cared, but said nothing as he pushed down more tears when you left, never to be in his room again. The mornings spent in your comfort are officially gone. You'd been right of course, he couldn't wallow and move on because you were everywhere. Your laugh in his ears at every party, your saccharine voice on the screen, your presence around every turn. Maybe you'd even been right when you insinuated this was what he was missing, he couldn't forget about you long enough to fall into his routine, especially not when the echoes that once told him he had to let you go sang a different tune. How destructive he was for letting the one person who could even attempt to anchor his tortured soul go.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
Thank you for reading, as always feedback, comments, likes, reblogs, is all super appreciated! I was going to write another chapter of the lakes but I had this idea in my brain presenting so here it is. 💋
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electronix-arts · 1 month
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i have the urge to ramble so why not ramble about murder drones
i have many fears over episode 8, my biggest one being is that everyone is going to fucking die, and since im now considered the khan guy, why not talk about him (THIS IS SO LONG HOLY FUCKING SHIT)
ok so funnily enough, im prepared if he does drop dead in ep 8. people have teased me going “oh lol what if khan dies in ep 8” but little do you all know ive been prepared since ep 7 dropped, my wife has improved so much he’s bound to be sniped by liam. i’d be upset as hell and act like a wife who lost her husband at sea but i would not be too surprised if he is killed off
before it was confirmed ep 8 is the series finale, i was a s2 believer and i held onto hope that they wouldn’t kill khan because it’d make his character feel worthless. you see this man improve so much to be a better father to uzi and grow a pair to actually do something; to me, him dying would have made all of that useless, the hypothetical season 2 could have grown his character more if he lived, hell, maybe even show flashbacks of him during his ‘kill all humans’ phase. ep 7 shows khan has nowhere to go but up (or go insane, like the ep 8 teaser showed us)
but since season 2 is not real, i have to accept the fact that yeah, khan might die. so instead of being upset over that, why not speculate how he’ll fuckin die even though him being in the teaser looking batshit insane makes me think he’ll be a survivor. look at him. he will live off of pure adrenaline. anyways.
it’d 100% be a sacrifice, his apology for everything he’s done (which i fucking HATE i wanted him to grow more to become more redeemable to others not [death = hooray your sins are mostly forgiven] but i just gotta suck it up for now)
it’d definitely be for uzi or nori, make sense if he sacrificed himself for both of them [“Turns out, I’m not who either of you needed”] buuut i think it’d be more uzi focused. he was the one who raised her for the entirety of her life, actually tried to become better and changed his main focus to her and tried to help whenever he could after that, he would take a hypothetical bullet for her. it could even parallel to pilot when he left her for dead, now he’s the one dying and telling uzi to leave him so she can save herself and the others (it could even reference heartbeat where she thought he actually died, i don’t know how they’d do it, but yeah. i like that scene in heartbeat, i enjoy characters i love oh so much in severe pain.)
while i like this a lot, i would want khan to sacrifice himself for someone else more than his own wife and daughter. shocking, i know. i make my entire personality based off these idiots why wouldn’t i want a doorman family reuni-
n. if khan dies in ep 8, i want him to die sacrificing himself for n. i want n to be in horror at what has happened as khan is slowly dying in front of him, basically giving n his blessing to date uzi even though the entire planet is doomed.
it parallels nori’s disapproval of the relationship, shows that khan’s views on the dds (mainly n) have changed [killing machine -> bad influence on uzi -> someone who genuinely cares for her, someone who she needed] -and i guess nicely ties up the gift that is his redemption arc.
it makes sense for him to give said blessing, he’s seen how close uzi has gotten with n as well I’m pretty sure when he reunites with nori (plsplspls) after they calm down she’s definitely gonna be like “YOU LET OUR DAUGHTER “HANG OUT” WITH THE THINGS YOU SAW KILL ME” so that’d be fresh on his mind when he hypothetically drops dead.
also i’d feel like him sacrificing himself for uzi is like. too perfect or easily guessable, maybe they could hint “oh yeah khan’s def gonna die to save uzi & nori” when haha sike he’s dying to save the future son-in-law (if there is a future)
anyways that’s it. im bad at wrapping up things so here is what i call my conclusion. if you actually read this i love you so much you will be in my will
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midnightanxietytm · 4 months
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Careless Indulgence (NSFW)
MINORS DNI
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a/n: Rejoice! Narilamb be upon ye! This time it's actually the smut i mentioned.
Summary: The first time a dream like this comes, he ignores it, shoves it to the back of his mind and does his chores like normal, insults the Lamb like normal, in fact, he barely thinks about them at all.
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Gods don’t dream.
But Narinder isn’t a god anymore, so his subconscious is free to generate any ethereal scenario it desires to fill the hours of nothingness that is sleep.
This one, though, is most unusual.
He’s in the temple, a sermon just ended and The Lamb is stepping down from the lectern with a spring on their step and a smile, and walking over to him. “For someone who claims to hate hearing me talk, you pay a lot of attention to my sermons.” They giggle, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders.
It was true, he paid attention to every sermon, and devotion poured out of him, unwillingly so, but it still did. “Do not flatter yourself,” He said, “You made attendance mandatory, unless stated otherwise, I’m forced to be here…” And the Lamb giggles again, now hugging him by the shoulders. His hands slithered under their fleece and settled on their hips.
That’s how he knew he was dreaming; if it was real, he would never allow himself to do such a thing. In his dreams, he relishes the feeling of the soft wool beneath his paw. “Hm? You want my permission to skip the sermons? If it’s what you want I can give you.” They rest their head on his shoulder, one of their hands caresses his face oh-so sweetly.
Narinder rolls his eyes. “You’d just find another way to pester me.”
Their breath is hot against his neck, Oh I hate them, Narinder thinks, and holds their face softly before pressing their mouths together. The dream melts together along with the hot feeling in his body.
He’s in the altar, Lamb laid on the lectern, moaning his name like a prayer.
They’re in the forest, He’s laid on the grass , the Lamb, riding him with eyes rolled back and mouth hanging open with gasps.
They’re in the main grounds, a bonfire is lit and the Lamb’s mouth is closed around him and he pants, clawing at the wool on his head.
The first time a dream like this comes, he ignores it, shoves it to the back of his mind and does his chores like normal, insults the Lamb like normal, in fact, he barely thinks about them at all.
The second one is admittedly unexpected, but he still manages to deal with his hard-on and move on with his day.
After almost a week having dreams like those, he can’t take it anymore.
By now, every place in the cult grounds has been lewd up by his mind, and every mildly suggestive thing the Lamb says or does has already featured in a degenerated scenario in his dreams; The temple, the farm, the forest, behind the temple, the kitchens, both of their shelters, against the statue the Lamb had erected in his likeness — a personal favorite of his—, against the Lamb’s own statue, during rituals, in the table after a feast…
At some point, Narinder is sure the Lamb doesn’t even need to read his thoughts to see the debauchery of his late-night fantasies, because of that he’s been avoiding the Lamb like they were a plague.
But they still manage to find him, like a little predator stalking prey. 
They corner him after two messily days of avoidance, pulling him back after the sermon and promptly closing the temple doors. “Nari, I thought we were past this stage already.” They say, their voice echoes.
“You thought wrong, Lamb, as you often do.” It’s no use lying, so he chooses to dodge the question entirely.
His usurper, though, doesn't plan on letting him escape that easily; they march towards him with drive, and Narinder tries to pretend he remained unaffected by leaning back against the column behind him. “You're hiding something, I can see it, Nari.” They say, hands on their hips and head tilting, making the bell around their neck jingle softly.
Narinder wonders if it would jingle when he shoves the usurper onto their back and—.
“There!” The lamb exclaims suddenly. “You stopped your own train of thought! What was that? Are you thinking about murdering me again? Are you dissenting? You don't look like you're dissenting!” They ramble endlessly.
Oh, to hell with it! Narinder thinks. They will just read my mind anyways. And before the Lamb can predict his next action, Narinder pounces.
He takes them by the face, with both hands, and smacks their lips together. The lamb lets out a surprised gasp, then promptly melts in his hands, so he lets go of their face in favor of their hips, then reverses their positions to pin the Lamb against the column.
He’s quick to add his teeth into the mix, he bites the Lamb’s lips until he feels the metallic taste of blood, then he licks it, and It's all a mess from there.
The damned Lamb moans into his mouth, matching his energy and his every action. Soon, Narinder is holding them up by the thighs, their legs wrapped around him as they both bite, lick and moan against eachother's mouth.
  Disrobing is not easy, but they manage to do a quick job of it, and Narinder lays the Lamb on their back on top of his own discarded clothes almost tenderly, before biting into their shoulder with force only to feel their blood on his tongue and to hear the pathetic bleat they let out. “You wanted to know what I was hiding?” He asks, rhetorically, because he shoves a finger inside the Lamb and knows that they won't answer through their moans. “This is it. I've been wanting to fuck you, dreaming about it.” He shoves a second finger, moving his hand in a slow rhythm only to hear the Lamb finally gasp some air, just to moan out again.
“Narinder!” They call in-between their moans. “Wait- more, please more” They are almost incoherent, Narinder smiles, his hand moving faster as was requested.
“It's so much better in a godly body, isn't it? It's like divinity enhances it.” He taunts, then kisses the already fading bite mark he had left. “Let me fuck you, my Lamb?” He whispers sweetly. “You wanted my crown? Fine, I’ll show you all it can do for you.”
The Lamb nods with fervor, the bell on their neck chimes. Narinder removes his fingers from their quivering hole and holds their legs open before shoving himself into them with a slow but fluid movement.
The Lamb’s body greedily takes in the new sensation, their back arches off the ground and they let out a divine, long and pleasured moan.
Nothing was better than this, nothing could possibly rival the union of their bodies, no nectar or ambrosia would ever be more innebriating than the taste of each other. Their ecstasy mixes, they begin to move against each other in a heated frenzy.
Their moans fill the temple, sounding holier than the prayers, their rhythm dictated by the chime of the Lamb’s bell and the sound of their hips meeting with each thrust.
Lamb thinks they will become addicted to this; the mutual devotion this carnal act brings them, the feeling of being so full, the sound of Narinder's heavy breathing and raspy moans.
This is true divinity, this raw and passionate and carnal desire is so utterly mortal that it circles right back into godhood.
Both chase their highs with desperation, bodies rutting against each other.
And when they reach it, it's devastating, both gasp for air like it's their first time breathing in centuries. Their bodies finally still against each other as they come back to themselves.
Silence hangs in the air for a few moments, then the cheeky Lamb opens their mouth; “You’ve been dreaming about this?” They tease. 
Narinder rolls his eyes and fights the smile that insists on crawling up to his lips; “Shut up!” They only hum in response, hugging him by the shoulders and making him lay down by their side.
“I’m glad I could fulfill your desires, then…” They smile up at him and lay a soft kiss on his lips, Narinder stays silent, purring contently despite his expressionless face.
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If I told yall this is the second smut I've ever written in my life, would yall believe me? Cuz I'm quite proud of it. Hope you guys like it too
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