#so true so real if i start kinning this piece of shit before i know his backstory

[sus-panicattac]

just found out that hinakawa canonically gets 2-3 hours of sleep per night and i think him being my new favorite character was assigned to me from the lord

anyways stan psychopass

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

S5 Headcanons Part 2!

Also SkullAmiGorai mention hehehoohoo

Mask

Real name is Jacklyn, but they typically go by Jack

Got the ‘tism

Half sharkling. Bro doesn’t have a tail, but he’s got some fins peaking out behind his back and some razor sharp teeth. Munch munch munch. Their eyes are also a little weird looking too

Shady is his cousin btw. They keep in touch sometimes but they’re not that close

Omnigender, uses he/they/bro pronouns. They started using “bro” as a neopronoun for shits and giggles at one point until it kinda just became an actual neopronoun for him because they like it

Also Omnisexual and panromantic. Why is everyone so attractive???

Tall. Scrawny as hell. Eat a sandwich, bloke

Makes the most lewd jokes out of the group. Bro even grosses Aloha out sometimes-

Mask: “I need her to bend me over the stove and spank me with a spatula-“

Aloha: “WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO????”

Very congested voice. That’s hay fever. He gets it from his father, who got it from his father, and so on

“Nice argument, unfortunately I am at your front door with a blunt object” — debating online about which character should be invited into smash bros

I know his bitch ass kins that motherfucker Sal from Sally Face

Favorite video game would have to be portal 2. He’d like the plot, the story, and bro would love Glad0s to pieces 10/10 villain, she’s a mood. They also like RPGs, plenty of which he’s download off of an itch.io knockoff

This fool STANKS. Like, bro smells like cheap cologne and 50 day old stale pizza. Take a bath

The rest of the S5 and Mask’s family have definitely tried to give him a bath before. They failed 😞 /j

Just kidding, Mask showers once for two whole weeks. Sometimes they’ll go for three weeks

Has multiple socials. Bro doesn’t post much other than some random funny videos they catch of the boys doing stupid shit and cackling at them when they get hurt in the most ridiculous ways

Is actually depressed. Bro was acting like an edgy teen back when they were 14, but as they got older they do actually start developing depression. Bro isn’t suicidal or anything, or at least they don’t actively seek to harm themselves, but bro has this kind of… Depressive symptom where they would just have a lack of care for if they like got killed all of a sudden, even almost hoping it would happen. Instead of being all mopey and sad and crying themselves to sleep at night, Mask is really just in a numb state. They just don’t care about anything. They still pull through because of all their family and friends, and bro knows that leaving those people in his life wouldn’t do any good.

Bro gained his depression from his mom suddenly passing away when he was 18. She died in a horrible car crash. They were even the first to find out because he accidentally stumbled across the scene. It wasn’t too far from where they lived. Thankfully, Mask is seeing a therapist, but he’s having trouble opening up still.

Acts like a cat. Loves to cuddle, really lazy with their movements and mannerisms, and love bites. Nibbles on your hand like a creature

Plays the chello. At first he started playing because he thought that the low pitch of the chords were edgy, lmao, but then the sound of it felt soothing and it ended up growing on him. Bro plays it whenever he’s stressed out over something or if he just needs a moment to clear his mind. It helps them think better, too. He’ll play for you, but he’s usually flustered about it.

Crusty gamer, but they have a beautiful face. Aloha dramatically passed out when he saw Mask’s true face

Mask doesn’t really like to take his mask off in general. At first it was so bro could look scary and intimidating when bro was younger, but now it’s because they value their privacy. Plus, they find comfort in their anonymity

Aloha’s octoling roommate, Lilith, creeped the shit of him when they first met, even though they were kinda similar in how they acted. Bro was just really off put by her gigantic size and build, and the fact that she was missing an eye and had previously been part of the Octarian army—as an army captain no less. They actually ended up becoming friends after they just trauma dumped to each other one night during one of Aloha’s parties. There were tears and ugly sobs involved. Now? Don’t tell anyone, but Mask thinks she’s fine as hell (they like their women buff)

Hangs out with Bobble, even though her smile used to erk him to the end of the world. He also likes hanging out with Goggles, too. The both of them treat Mask nicely and bought him a game that he really wanted for their birthday, so now Mask feels like he’s indebted to them (that’s what he says, but bro just likes hanging out with them)

Real chill about it when Army came out as an octoling—he also then came out as a sharkling at the time, too. He was also the first to find out about Army having a crush on Goggles and he tried to hook ‘em up just for shits and giggles, and sort of to see what would happen. Bro did feel happy when they got together, but then they got flabbergasted when the two of them also got with Rider and Skull— “Wait, did I miss a few chapters? What the hell”

Skull

His real name is Sloan

Autism hiding up in here somewhere. Adhd, too

Also gay. Unlike Rider, he’s more open about it—or chill at least

He’s a kraken squid, one of the strongest creatures in the inkling and octoling genuses. Being a kraken squid not only gives him more animalistic traits in the way he acts, like being territorial and prone to snapping his teeth and growling, but he also has bones. Krakens are one of the only ones, besides leviathans, to have bones in the cephalopod class

That being said, he’s broken an arm at one point. He mentions it every so often like it was a fever dream and people look at him alarmingly because the way he broke his arm sounds absolutely agonizing

Besides the E-liter, he also likes using the krak on splat roller

Likes to wear goth punk style, either that or punk rock

Gives the most bombastic side eye

He says he tone deaf when he sings, but he can actually sing pretty good. It’s really soothing. He’s just really shy about his singing and uses it as an excuse not to sing. You gotta bully him into doing it (don’t do that tho, not nice) He can also rap pretty good, too. And he’s really good with the bass guitar and regular guitar

Has really beautiful tanned skin, because he stands out in the sun all day holding his e-liter in matches and he’s Scalican and knows Coralish (Splatoon pun of Mexican and Spanish) he’s got a bunch of tan lines, too

He’s been wearing his skull bandana for the longest to hide his sharp ass teeth to try to avoid people from getting spooked of him. Well, the skull on his bandana didn’t really help all that much, but he actually kinda liked the style because he felt intimidating for another reason other his real teeth.

He’s naturally strong as hell and tall as a skyscraper because he’s a kraken squid, and he’s been like that since he turned 14. It’s because of that lots of people are always intimidated by him, even when he tries to prove he’s docile (Kind of a discrimination thing he’s gotta deal with everyday 😞). But deep down he’s a gentle giant. Really trustworthy man, too. He also has sharp claws; they’re very pretty

Got into a few fist fights, some double sided and… one sided, between him and some drink tampering shmucks Aloha would catch at his parties or at his parents’ bar. He’s never started a fight, but he has sure as hell finished them all

He’s kinda insecure about handling kids and hatchlings. He loves them to death, but because of his giant, intimidating feature, he knows he’d be prone to accidentally freaking younglings out. It also has to do with the fact that his hatchling cousin started crying really hard the millisecond Skull tried to hold them in his arms one time back when he was like 12; He still hasn’t gotten over it. It’s kinda ironic though, because despite his intimidating form, lots of younglings and hatchlings actually really like him right off the bat. It’s probably because he’s actually really good with kids in general. He’d play with them, keep them out of trouble, and just knows what they’d need on a whim. He’s your go-to babysitter kind of guy

His favorite pastries are cannolis, his favorite cakes are cheesecakes, and his favorite candy would be all three flavors of chocolate. He had a crisis when he had to choose one team during the chocolate splatfest

Really territorial about his food. He growls if you get near him while he’s eating food, especially sweets. Not only that, but he’s even worse when he’s with a significant other. He’ll straight up snarl at you if he feels like you’re bothering them. He’d even snap his teeth like a dog at you. Leave him alone to cuddle with his boyfriens >:(

He does also growl and snarl when he senses danger, if he’s pissed off, or if he just wants to be left alone in general. He’s got a low, deep growl that can pierce your soul. It’s some freaky shit. It makes for a good warning to not cross him, cuz he will fuck you up bad.

He also purrs a lot, and LOUDLY. He loves to purr, it’s his own way of showing affection. He also likes to nibble, whether it be on your hands, neck, ear, anywhere. He’ll also play bite and it‘s so ticklish. He’s like a doggy 💜💜💜

He had a crush on Mask once, back when they played in Inkopolis Plaza, but it was mostly because bro was so affectionate with him. Mask was actually his gay awakening before he decided that he liked imagining Mask as more of a friend. Mask also made for a great wingman, anyways.

Skull fell for Goggles the same reason he fell for Mask, because he was so nice and affectionate with him—even though he flashed him to the public in the square (you had to be there). He was also intrigued by him because he admired how Goggles faced him so determinedly, even after Goggles lost against him. He was the first person who wasn’t afraid of Skull, and that really did confuse him for an extended amount of time

There’s also Rider; He got the feels for Rider after he faced up against Emperor. He too admired Rider for his determination, and that was when he began to realize he had a type—and that he was poly. You could also say their pep talk they had before Rider faced Emperor’s team had played a part in it. They also got closer during the ranked battle championship arc.

As for Army, well, he and Army bonded when he found out Army was an octoling. Skull kinda related to him, as he was also seen as different from other inklings in society because of his large and intimidating structure—though Army didn’t really have to face that, but he was shamed for who he was by his grandad so that was something he and Skull had somewhat in common. He was also there to comfort Army when he was going through it with his grandad getting arrested and everything. He even offered him a place to stay if he needed, even when Army assured that Goggles’ parents were happy to have him around. He’s also really grateful for the fact that Army always makes sure to be his reminder for a bunch of things and also keeps him from getting lost, and his curry is YUM YUM YUM (proof that good food makes a even the bad bitches fold)

He and Aloha’s friend, Lilith started out a bit rocky, but then they grew to have a mutual trust in each other. They also ended up becoming friends after Lilith heard him singing and started singing along (they’re both shy about singing)

Weekly ink rifle meet up with Headphones and Half Rim. Eventually they started inviting N-Pacer! It’s just when they spend the day doing friend stuff, cuz theyre friends now :)

Rider

Real name is Roe

Is BRI’ISH. Heavy British accent boi; “oi my names Rida’ ”

Dude is so tone deaf. But he can keep a beat pretty well. He’s tried to play the drums at one point, but he hasn’t played in a while. He has to have his drum set hiding in his house somewhere

Socially detached. He was taken advantage by other kids a lot when he was younger, and those memories never left him. He’s also had a few issues growing up, too, especially without his dad.

His father left him and his mom before he and his sister were even born. He doesn’t even have a good idea as to what he looks like since his mom took down every photo in the house that he was in since he left them. His mom refuses to ever mention him, and if Rider ever does she’s quick to change the subject. All he knows is that he inherited his father’s voice, and both he and Platinum inherited his nose and lips. Rider never knew why he left. But truth be told, he doesn’t care no more, he’s got so many more people to worry about nowadays

He has a twin sister btw. Her real name’s Rinet (it’s Renet but it’s just spelled differently), but her nickname is Platinum. She wears the white inky rider and she mains the golden aerospray. She’s kinda an asshole but she’s a pretty fun friend to have around. She and Rider used to be in the same team until he got sick of her shit because he thought she was such a snooty player and decided to go his own way; eventually finding his own current team. Every so often, if one of his teammates get sick or unavailable, she automatically fills in for them.

Platinum doesn’t play turf war or ranked battles that much. She’s mostly seen doing Grizzco shifts to try to help her and Rider’s mom pay the bills and get their mom closer to retirement; it’s also to save up money for college. Rider wishes she would quit someday, as he doesn’t trust Grizzco industries and their “policies” and work environment. He doesn’t admit it, but he worries about her a whole lot.

Pretty skilled with the E-Liter. He likes to stick with the no-scope; inspired by Headphones, in purpose of keeping an eye on his team.

He and Wireglasses weren’t related. They did grow up in the same neighborhood as kids, before Wireglasses moved to Splatsville with his parents. It made Rider kinda sad because they were actually good friends, one of the only real friends he ever really had before blue team. When they met again after he went to Splatsville, they gave each other a big ol hug.

His ass does not like Emperor. Emperor doesn’t like him either, except it’s more that he just doesn’t vibe with him, meanwhile Rider just LOATHES him to pieces. If they’re both in the same room, Rider will go out of his way to stand in the opposite side of the room just to be as far away from “that fancy ass whiteboy” as possible. It’s so ridiculously funny and more so when you remember that all of team blue are good friends with Emperor so it really ruffles Rider’s feathers.

He has nothing against Prince, tho. If the S4 say he’s cool, then he’s cool.

His mom is… She’s not perfect, to say the least. Who is, though? I mean, Sheena really did struggle to cope when he boyfriend abandoned her when she fell pregnant, with twins no less. She absolutely refuses to drown her sorrows in alcohol and drugs, I implore her for that, but she was still incredibly depressed even when her kids came into the world. She was slightly neglectful during their first few years, and her parents didn’t bother to help her with them because she left them to be with her boyfriend, but they didn’t bother regaining contact even when she was struggling. Sheena got better eventually, especially after she started gaining more friends in the neighborhood who helped co-parent. Eventually she was able to get back on her feet and become the kind of parent she wanted to be for her kids. Since then, she became a lot more energetic and bombastic, she had that cool aunt personality while juggling around two kids at the same time. She loves her babies to death, and she thinks it’s funny to kind of embarrass them in public all the time by giving them kisses all over their faces and head and giving them right hugs. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but Platinum and Rider know that life would be a lot more duller without their mother around. 💚🤍🖤 (not me indulging in motorcycle mama 😭)

His mom’s part of a biker gang, her nicknames Rockin’, because she wears the Rockin’ leather jacket. She’s got a sweet, red Road-King in the garage. She keeps saying that she’s gonna get Rider a black Road King someday when he’s old enough. Rider honestly doubts it, but don’t underestimate his mother’s determination to keep her word.

He’s honestly in no rush, really. In fact he’s afraid of getting back on the motorcycles again. He used to ride around on the back of his mom’s motorcycle and be part of “the gang,” but he take on a hiatus after a car accident that had him fist bumping death’s hand before he ended up in the hospital for almost a week with a scar that’s never gonna leave. He hasn’t road with her since, but even he admits that he wants to get back on it someday.

He’s pretty smart with cars and with motorcycles, too. He learned it all from his mom. Why go to the car repair center when you can take it over to his house to get it checked on? Charges a fair price, too.

His right eye is partially blind from where he got sanitized. He would’ve felt more insecure about it if it weren’t for his boyfriends assuring him that he’s such a handsome boy every single day since they each of them got together.

Yes, he is built like a brick house. He swings a large mass of metal around like a wiffle bat everyday out in the battlefield. What else did you expect?

He’s so easy to scare, it’s hilarious. You can come up from behind him and go “BOO!” And he’ll jump a little and just glare at you. But if he gets really scared, like if he’s in one of those haunted house attractions, he’ll start screaming and slowly start falling to the ground in slow motion or just run off wordlessly. It’s even funnier because he’ll grab the nearest person he’s with and they’re both gonna eat shit together by falling or he’s gonna throw them over his shoulder and bull a skiddadle. Either that, or he’s just gonna run away so fast without saying anything; there was also this time he was playing basketball by himself in the evening and the lights suddenly went off and he SPED AWAY so fast you could hear the fear in his shoes when they squeaked. (That last part is based off a funny video I saw of a man running away when the streetlights went of). His ass does not like horror games, either

He has multiple pair of boots, and leather jackets.

He would absolutely wear the dreadlock hairstyle in Splatoon 3, he HAS too

He was very shocked to find out Army was an octoling, but he had his full support. But NOTHING could prepare him for when he finally met Goggles’ parents and learned that theyre octolings too. He likes them a whole lot, they’re very nice to him and they became friends with his mom when they all met each other at one of Goggle and Rider’s meet-your-parents dinner date

Ok so I’m so sorry I sorta just dumped my personal issues onto Mask that must’ve been really screwed up to read- (my mom didn’t die in a car crash but she had dementia and she died last year on new years). I was also indulging in Rider’s mom for a little bit, because, I wish my mom was still here to give me a bunch of kisses all over my face while I complain about people seeing us because- I miss that :(

Don’t worry about it 👍🏻

Also sorry for those who come back every so often and find out the headcanons have changed. I should probably just make part 3’s and 4’s but I don’t feel like it. I’m gonna do team blue at some point erp erp erp

And don’t look at me like that for also jumping on the oc x canon ship bandwagon with Mask. I just thought that they and Lilith would be silly together.

< Here’s the first part with Aloha and Army

[1990jeevas]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[argonas]

Misguided Justice - Pt. I

[[ Co-written with @kidcatgemini​ / @sinafay-the-defiant​ ]]

Evening had descended by the time Argonas set hoof on the small Arathi farmstead. Quaint and simple, the Vindicator could barely believe this is where his wayward student Sinafay had settled down. No measure of justice was served from such a simple life. But then, he knew she’d abandoned such duties in favor of her abhorrent and deviant lifestyle. His fists clenched as he paced up the hill from the fields proper, towards the small cottage overlooking the land. Smoke billowing from the chimney served as a sure sign someone was home. Sinafay… Grakkar… that abomination they called a child… he expected to find all three inside. Disgusting and unnatural as it was, that wasn’t even why Argonas was here. No, Sinafay’s transgressions far exceeded that, now.

Despite Raetos’ unwillingness to do what was necessary, and his efforts to convince the Vindicator of such, Argonas knew otherwise. Anyone who abided such evils as Avehi raising the dead were just as culpable as she was! By harboring and abetting the Death Knight, Sinafay had made her choice. And the Light demanded its justice. It almost hurt to consider; he really had taken pride in training young Sinafay in the ways of the Light, helping to nurture and cultivate her talents into a beacon of strength for their people. Such a waste…

His heavy hand banged against the wooden door - so fragile, he worried it might break if he hit it too hard. Still, the firm knocks echoed through the farmstead, as the Vindicator made his presence known.

“Sinafay!” he called out. “Sinafay the Defiant!”

It didn’t take very long for the door to open, revealing a very angry looking Draenei, brows knit into a scowl. She’d done a great job at losing the baby weight, already a good way back to her Vindicator fitness level. She wore a lovely, yet simple robe, ideal for a busy mother, yet accentuated her natural curves and showed off her Light bound tattoos. 

“Argonas,” she scolded, “Do you mind maybe NOT waking the baby I just put to sleep?!”

She pushed forward to try and shove the Vindicator back, but Argonas was unmovable as always, and in his full armor of course! With a frustrated huff, she moved around him, shutting the door behind her as she began to walk down the hill, tail twitching. Best to do the yelling away from Neelah. She couldn’t imagine what her former mentor was doing here at this time of night.

“What the FUCK are you doing here?!” She growled.

Perhaps it was motherhood, the hormones raging through her. Or perhaps coupling with a filthy Orc for too long had boosted her aggression. Maybe, partly, she was upset to see him again after how he left things with her. There were many likely factors, but no matter what or why, Sinafay was being terribly bitchy. It wasn't the attractive sour attitude he cherished in his departed mate, either; she was just being erratic and grumpy. Terribly unappealing!

He followed her a ways down the hill, stern expression his only real response to her demeanor. He looked her over, a mixture of sorrow and regret overcoming him. Oh how far she'd fallen… even glistening with the Light from her Lightforging did little to make her seem redeemable after such a terrible track her life had followed. It pained him to see his former pupil like this. Such shame he felt, clearly having failed to teach her not to parlay with savage orcs, or aide depraved Death Knights. She was his greatest failure.

"... I am told you sheltered and aided Avehi. Is this true?" Argonas asked, bluntly.

Sinafay raised a brow, turning to look at him as the question was asked. She relaxed a bit, having shaken off the anger now that they were a fair distance away from the house.

“She was here a few months ago; came across the farm by happenstance. Hadn’t seen each other for a while, so we caught up. Went on her way after that.”

Sinafay crosses her arms over her chest. Why was Argonas looking for Avehi? She thought back on her conversation with the Death Knight, frowning. She finally took a moment to look the Vindicator over; those dark circles under his eyes… and something looked off in that luminous gaze of his. Something she’d missed in her earlier frustration.

“If that’s what you mean by ‘sheltered and aided’, then yeah, I guess I did. Why?”

“She has dragged you into her terrible misdeeds.” Argonas elaborated, albeit vaguely. “Avehi has been raising the dead for nefarious purposes. If you are a friend to her, she will likely come here to seek shelter again. To hide from the Light’s justice.”

His eyes narrowed, as he reached back to draw his crystalline blade.

“This, I cannot allow.”

Sinafay didn’t wait a moment longer to see where the conversation was leading. She’d seen this exact situation play out too many times, on Draenor, to those suspected of aiding the Mag’har under Yrel’s reign.

She wasn’t about to allow him to use that blade. While she’d taken on a more domestic role over the past months, she’d kept her senses sharp. Having an Orc mate who enjoyed a good spar helped quite a bit.

Her eyes flared, hands slamming into the large Vindicator’s chest with a powerful blast of Holy Light to push him back before taking on a defensive position.

“I suppose I was right to not have trusted you after all.”

It hurt to have her suspicions realized. To know that her mentor was as blinded as the people she’d left behind on her world. She felt justified, in a way, the guilt of hiding her relationship with Grakkar from him washing away.

“Leave us be, Argonas,” she warned, baring her teeth, “This is your only warning.”

The Vindicator’s hooves scraped along the ground, slowing him from skidding too far back. He grunted, frowning deeper at Sinafay. He expected resistance, of course. He’d trained her well enough not to take a death threat lying down!

“Do you think I want to do this? I thought I had taught you better! But you have fallen so far from the path I laid out for you!” he growled, plated fist tightening around the hilt of his blade. “You failed! You abandoned your post! You betrayed our kin on Draenor, breaking your vow to protect them! And for an Orc!?”

“Hmph. Consider it my highest honor.” Sinafay shot back, defiantly.

Argonas grunted. He rushed in, hoofsteps hastened by the Light itself in a furious charge. He swung his sword in a wide arc towards Sinafay. Sinafay shot forward as he charged. She didn’t have a weapon or armor, but knew agility wasn’t Argonas’ strong suit, and planned to use that to her advantage. She rolled as he swung, just passed his right leg to end up behind him, her tail wrapped around his ankle, tugging it back with her momentum as she got to her hooves. 

She didn’t turn back to look if he’d fallen forward or not as she kept running; hoping she’d bought herself a bit of time as she headed towards Grakkar’s workshop. She knew there would be a weapon or something there she could use to defend herself with. The Lightbound could hear nothing but her rapid heartbeat as adrenaline rushed through her system, making it impossible to know if he was right behind her or not.

Suddenly, a bolt of Light struck her shoulder, knocking her off balance just as she reached the workshop. She stumbled and fell into the door, crashing through it! The heavy hoofbeats of Argonas closed in, making up what distance the tripping attack bought had cost him.

“And now, you abide by such abhorrence as Avehi raising the dead! Our own people, enthralled by her necrotic powers!” he continued to charge Sinafay, shouting aggressively. “I know not what set you on such a depraved path after we parted, Sina. But it has led to this final judgment! The Light will not tolerate your abusing its blessing to supplement death and pain to its chosen people!”

He brought his blade up for an overhead swing, cutting straight down vertically!

Sinafay barely had time to cocoon herself within a barrier of Light. Argonas’ sword crashed into it, causing sparks to fly and crackle in a near blinding light show as the holy forces fought against each other. The Lightbound woman grit her teeth as the barrier cracked under the pressure of the Vindicator’s strength. She was out of practice, and her former mentor’s conviction was too strong. She knew she was only delaying the inevitable, but she would fight to the bitter end.

And that end grew closer as the barrier shattered. She tried to roll to the side but the blade found purchase in her side, forcing a cry out of her as blue blood oozed out of the wound. She reached out, hands grabbing the Vindicator’s wrists as her hooves kicked out at his face in a final act of defiance.

Argonas stumbled back, but not far. Swift and firm as the kick was, there was an insurmountable difference in stature between the two Vindicators. His face immediately began to swell up at the impact point of Sinafay’s hoof, but that only seemed to infuriate him more. The grinding of his plate gauntlet along the hilt of his crystalline blade rang out sharply as he shifted his grip. He took the sword in his hands, and lined up the piercing point with his former pupil’s chest.

“Through me, the Light’s justice will be served! The mistakes I made in judging the true measures of your character will at long last be corrected!”

He raised his blade, eyes narrowing as he started to bring it down to finish his grim task-- when suddenly a pair of arms wrapped tensely around his waist! From behind him, Grakkar took hold of the Vindicator and heaved him upward and over himself with a mighty roar! The Draenei was caught off-guard, and thrown over onto his back as Grakkar arched and kicked back and away from Sinafay. Argonas came crashing down on his shoulders and the back of his head, driving his chin into his chest plate as the rest of his heavy plated body rolled over the top of him! He was stunned! The wind knocked from him entirely as Grakkar threw him back!

“Get away from my mate, you honorless piece of clefthoof shit!” the Warsong shouted, snarling at Argonas.

He gave little time for the abettor to recover, rushing in to keep up the pressure. As Argonas rolled over and brought himself up to his hands and knees, Grakkar ran up and took hold of his head. Lining it up, he carried his momentum and slammed his knee into the Draenei’s crest! 

*CRACK* 

Argonas rolled over from both the pain, and the force of the impact to his face! But the assault didn’t end there. Grakkar trudged up alongside the writhing and bewildered Draenei. He knelt down scooping up a small handful of dirt to toss into the Vindicator’s face! Then, he just started punching! Once, again, three times! He bloodied his fist against the Draenei’s plated crest, pounding his face over and over with unyielding fury! 

Argonas did what he could to protect himself, but he couldn’t see his assaulter, much less block the barrage of punches! He’d dropped his sword, and couldn’t afford to reach out and feel for it nearby. That would only give the Orc more openings! Instead, he curled in, doing his best to cover his face with one arm as he swatted at Grakkar blindly with the other in hopes of deflecting or softening the next blow coming his way. One wild swipe caught hold of something - the Orc’s forearm. Success! With all his might, he ripped the Orc’s arm towards him, counter attacking with a punch of his own. He felt his plated fist connect, knocking the Orc back and away from him. Only for a moment… but the moment was all he needed.

Bringing his hooves back beneath him, Argonas stood up and quickly brushed the dirt and blood from his face. His luminous eyes set onto Grakkar, who also recuperated from their exchange of blows. For a moment, the two stared one another down.

“The Light… judges you too, Orc filth!” Argonas grunted.

“Fuck your Light!” Grakkar shot back, snarling.

With a furious shout, the Orc rushed at Argonas yet again. The Draenei took up a defensive stance, readying himself as Grakkar drew near. He knew he couldn’t match the Orc’s agility; their fight in Kun-Lai had taught him that, well enough. Instead he dug in his hooves, tail swaying limber behind him to keep his balance. As the Orc took his swing, Argonas brought his forearms up to block the incoming blow. Then the next. Teeth grit as he held firm his position, Argonas bided the Orc’s assault like a statue! He was ready for him, this time. Ready and waiting for his opening. His hands and arms felt raw, jarred and pulsing from the plate gauntlets reverberating each repeated strike. But he held his ground.

Grakkar raged on, throwing punch after punch in the hopes of landing one or two good blows, enough to throw his opponent off of the defensive. But the Vindicator was stoic! Unyielding! The old Orc already felt fatigue setting in. How long had it been since he had a good fight like this? Since settling down with Sinafay, and their young daughter Neelah, he hadn’t been in too many scrapes. His rustiness was taxing him now, exacting the toll of his inactivity. His blows began to slow, punches falling slower and softer against the same blood-smeared plate gloves the Draenei used to defend himself. His knuckles were pulp, each screaming a searing pain from crashing into the inexorable metal again and again. He rotated in a kick to mix it up, hoping to knock the Draenei over, but he might as well have kicked a boulder. One more punch. Another. Until finally the futility of it drained Grakkar entirely. He staggered back, growling.

And that was Argonas’ opening.

The blast of Light illuminated the farmstead, bright as high noon for only a split second. Argonas’ retributive burst was more than enough to knock the weary Orc over. The Vindicator charged, hoofbeats hastened by the Light’s gift to surge the mass of muscle and steel towards Grakkar. He’d barely managed to keep his balance, only for Argonas to slam into him like a rampaging elekk. The Orc felt his body tossed back, and yet he didn’t go far. Argonas gripped him tightly to keep him from sailing too far away from the impact, instead simply slamming him into the ground before him. The Orc’s pained howl was a symphony to the Vindicator. Retribution for so much pain that not only this Orc caused him personally, but all Orcs caused his people! Quickly, he followed up by stomping his hoof into the vile creature’s chest! Still surging with the Light, his plated hoof shoe seared into Grakkar’s flesh, causing him to writhe and moan in pain!

“You have caused enough trouble!” Argonas declared, pressing his hoof down harder. “And now, you will cause no more!”

Grakkar struggled, gripping the Draenei’s leg as he gave all his might to try and push back, but not only did the Draenei significantly outmatch his strength, his plated form weighed a ton! It took all the Orc’s might just to keep the hoof at bay! Even then, he felt his ribs bending and cracking, the hoof melting his skin. It became hard to breath, his cries of agony turning to harsh and hoarse gasps as Argonas pressed harder. He’d been in enough fights to know when he’d lost. And this… this was it. This was the end. 

His eyes widened at the realization, his expression of anger and rage replaced by one of fear. Despair. He had failed. He couldn’t protect his mate. His daughter. After everything he’d done, all the effort and sacrifice he’d made to protect Sinafay, to free her from bondage on Draenor… only for her to die here at the hands of another Light-crazed zealot. He strained a little harder, but nothing he could do would be enough to overpower Argonas. But he couldn’t give up. He wouldn’t! He turned his head, looking over towards the workshop where Sinafay was. He couldn’t see her… and that hurt all the more, unable to lay eyes on his mate one final time. His strength began to wane.

“I’m… sorry…” Grakkar grunted, as his grip finally slipped.

*CRUNCH*

~*~

TO BE CONTINUED...

[goldinavonlea]

WHERE do I even BEGIN?????

gonna put it under a cut because i have. lots of thoughts

I’m only going to do a rough take now and I’ll get pretty and clever with it later but the centrality of family to this episode but the specific way family was framed as a concept and what that means... exceptional. Truly, stunningly beautiful.

When Anne asks Ka’kwet the word for family, she explains that in Míkmawísimk, the term they use means ‘people I am connected to because we’re alike’ (which... just need to take a pause to say what an incredibly beautiful piece of language and—since language has such a profound affect on how we look at our existances—what an incredibly beautiful way of seeing it).

I felt like that formed the real thematic backbone of the episode: family not being nearly as simple as blood or something you’re born into, but something that can be fostered and created, something that can be found, which considering Anne’s history and the jounery she’s going on, is so incredibly beautiful and important.

I felt that the entire episode was giving us example of example of these bonds—these relationships of family through connection and similarity. The way Ka’kwet explained family really chimed for me with how Anne sees Kindred Spirits (which makes sense, since ‘kin’ is a term for family!), which is just one example of how Anne and Ka’kwet are immediately drawn to one-another, immediately alike in many ways and so there’s this instantaneous sense of family there.

I love that Anne was having a bit of a giggle over Matthew and Marilla’s similarities over dinner, but there’s an a slight undertone to it—she’s looking at the ways they are evidently family in a manner which doesn’t neccessarily include her. But there are so many ways in which the episode also makes her similarities to them—the ways in which she is so absolutely connected to them through likeness and in family—clear. I mean just watching Matthew and Marilla being absolute muppets to surprise her with that cake—Matthew with his book upside-down, Marilla straight up giggling to herself. They’ve taken in so much of her levity, her mischief and joy: they’ve become more like her, they’ve learned from loving her and changed in the process of becoming a family.

The same with Diana!! With her whole prank to get Anne over for the birthday tea—I mean can you imagine the Diana we first met in season one, who decalred herself to be lacking in imagination and who was so constrained by propriety, getting up to such hijinks? Purposefully yanking her neat hair out of its ribbon (about which I have two points: first, Di’s hair looked absolutely glorious down like that, she’s looking vital and lively and stunning this season; and second, the parallels of Di pulling her hair out to prank Anne, Anne loosing her ribbon and shaking her hair out on the horse, and Ka’kwet taking out her own hair ties she’d made to trade with Anne. Again, parallels are similarities, and similarity means kindred!)

NOT TO MENTION our girl kicking off at her parents about Queens using words like ‘supercede’, demanding her right to an education, slamming furiously away at her piano when she’s dismissed? God I have never been prouder in all my days, but again—she’s grown so much fire since meeting Anne, so much spirit and determination through knowing her. They are alike. They are family.

And with the girls from school in a wider sense too—there’s so much more ease there, a sense of unity and belonging and knowing of each other that lends a fluidity and familiarity to their interactions as a group which was frankly delightful to see (plus: Jane and Tilly both already have me cracking up this season which is wonderful because more of those two was something I really wanted to see). There’s no hostility there now, really—just soft-worn treads of exasperation and bickering which feels deeply familiar. They share the same stories, the same jokes. They have a Togetherness.

Mary and Bash were just... a fucking delight. A true joy. And again! The unity! The way they laugh together, share lines of thought, share such a sense of spirit and cheekiness. And of course they share an Actual Baby now which I will come back to I promise because that deserves space of its own.

And... look. Anne and Gil. If family, if kindred, is something made of things shared, of the ways people are the same, then one really can’t have enough of a giggle over the fact that they both, in the space of one episode, managed to have a moment of Putting Themselves Out There to the other only to be SPECTACULARLY shot down by the absolute MISSILE of the other being a complete fucking idiot. Like, to steal from Josie’s ‘too close to the sun’ comment to Moody (who remains, as ever, a Mood and a half), Anne and Gil each performed a truly impressive Icarus moment in the others’ presence this ep. Gilbert was Full On, Pedal to the Metal making allusions to their Future and Courtship and Marriage (he actually honest to god used the word Future in that conversation bless him, just bless his heart) and Anne just fires off a zeplin-felling, building-flattening rocket launcher of ‘you should really get on with it with Ruby’. And his whole 360 from being Absolutely Prepared to get in on this take notice thing, practically had Anne’s name written out already, to the screeching halt of Disaster Teen like ‘yeah I’m not really a take-notice kind of guy’ god I’m loving getting to see them just be Deeply Stupid Adolescents it’s... so enjoyable.

AND ANNE! Anne Shirley-Cuthbert! Madame! Was fully flashing back to Marilla’s ‘when someone loves you, then you’ll be kissed’ guidance because clearly her brain started to kick into gear when Ruby went off about the romance in his eyes and she just went ‘whelp the only possible way to get to the bottom of this is to corner him, give him a good Staring At, and see if he plants one on me’. Christ she’s iconic, just the monumental, fearless idiocy of that. I mean I’d thought a lot about what barriers there might be in place between Anne and Gilbert assuming from promo materials that they both had to be cottoning on at least a little bit to their feelings, and most of my thoughts were deeply angsty, but I didn’t at any point consider the most simple, the most obvious, the most hysterical answer which is that they’re just both absolute morons about this shit. Gilbert definitely being the greater moron though I mean ‘See ya’ YOU FOOL? YOU FOOL SHE CORNERED YOU ALONE TO BLINK AT YOU AND LEAN INTO YOUR SPACE YOU WERE PRACTICALLY READY TO PROPOSE JUST HOURS BEFORE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IS HAPPENING HERE?

Anyway how that ties into my original point on family/kindredness is that Anne and Gilbert are both precisely the same tone of Very Smart Person Who Is Also Catastrophically Stupid At Inopportune Moments and that’s why they’re kindred.

God he asked her if she’d forgotten what she was going to say, the pain I will feel until the end of my days that Bash was not there to witness that moment and tear literal shreds out of Gilbert for it it’s an honest to god tragedy.

which, coming back to our fave married couple because did i not promise???

the baby. THE BABY!!! Bash and Mary have a BABY they have a DAUGHTER her name is DELPHINE and Bash speaks to her in RIDICULOUS VOICES and apparently gets JEALOUS that he couldn’t help FEED HER! Mary carries her on her back and hangs out with Marilla thrice weekly (because Marilla wants baby cuddles) and Bash and Mary cooing over their beautiful daughter?? being desperately in love and so happy? i could scream i could SCREAM

Just the whole dynamic of the Lacroix-Blythe familiar unit broke into my home stole my heart out of my chest and I’m not even mad about it. Gilbert teasing Mary about bossing them about like their old boss on the steamer? the two of them sharing a What a Loveable Idiot Look re: Bash when Bash won’t stop talking to Delphine in weird voices? The ease and comfort with which they all exist in that space that was so sad before? and is now alight with joy and family? Gilbert kissing Delphine’s head and saying goodbye to her before he leaves for the day and mercilessly ribbing Bash on his way out? I’m gonna rewatch it I’m gonna rewatch that scene and literally if anything happens to this family I will scream I’ll SCREAM they’ve all been through enough they all deserve joy.

anyway it’s 3:00am and I’ve descended into nonsense so I’ll be back with a more thought out post (broken up into several because this is long as hell) when I’ve slept but in conclusion I love everyone (except, as ever, Billy Andrews) and I’m so so so happy to have this blessed show back in my life

[icarus-suraki]

12, 46, 119 :)

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

In no particular order...

The Banjo Beat Yeah, I know it's a meme staple, but it's got the kind of sound I love and how cool would a bellydance choreography look to this?

Little Dark Age (slowed) Yes, I first heard this in one of the Angels & Demons tiktok compilations and I loved it, shut up. I love the 80s goth energy in the video too. Like, it just hits the spot, you know?

Tick.Tock.Magical.Idol.Time  Because sometimes you just gotta find a happy place, okay? If there's ever a lipsynch or idol show at a convention, this is gonna be what I perform in my cute cyclops kigurumi mask. Absolutely. (The Pripara animes got me through a very long winter a few years ago. I'd literally get up earlier than I needed so I could see the latest clips after a new episode aired before I went to work lol. And, yes, I love Yui, but Lalaa is best girl. They get to perform together, though.)

Lots of Zenbukimi and Not Secured,Loose Ends songs lately. I'll throw these here for an example: "Loud Asymmetry" and "独白園" ["Garden Monologue" or "Monologue Garden"?]. I have a whole YT playlist, lol. I'm kind of fascinated by the whole "underground idol" phenomenon and the CodomoMental label groups because they're both idols and anti-idols, which is kind of an interesting conflict within "idol-style" music in Japan...

Superman This is what I use for my alarm every morning in the hopes that high energy ska-punk will make me get up. It doesn't always work, but I like the song anyway. I've been on a real ska and ska-punk streak lately.

46. What are you paranoid about?

On the one hand, as a Thomas Pynchon fan, who has major themes of paranoia in, uh, all of his books, I have to laugh. But, at the same time, I'm so much less paranoid than I used to be. I put this down to my medications. In the past, wow, I've been paranoid about, uh, everything?

I think I'm kind of weak willed because any kind of "world's gonna end on x date" thing would send me into multi-day panic attacks. Nostradamus, obscure and dubious prophecies, biblical interpretations, Book of Revelations, political stuff, anything. I'd find myself believing all kinds of irrational things but not feeling like I could do anything about it (I mention this in particular because it’s markedly different from the Q-Anon fandom that is determined to Do Something about what they believe is happening; I felt informed but helpless, like there was an air raid siren blaring but nowhere to go and no shelter to be had, only inevitable destruction needling down from the clear blue sky). Like, all these terrible things are going to happen to us all and there's nothing we can do about it. Biblical stuff would always set me off in a major, major way. I'm rather proud I can shake off all the people talking about microchips in vaccines because a few years ago I would have been panicking about whether that was true and what the ramifications would be because, obviously, there was no way to get out of this inevitable fate or possible damnation and maybe it was the Mark of the Beast so what does that mean? Are there going to be people starving outside grocery stores now? Was xyz event really a sign? How much are we going to suffer??? What if I'm not good enough for God?????? Lots of religious anxiety in my past, as you can see. And some still, to be honest.

Yeah, it sucked. Glad I got most of that anxiety sorted before 2020 lol. (I sometimes think I could use a bit of anxiety because now I'll do dumb shit without fear because, eh, who cares? So I may have swung too far in the opposite direction.)

119. Favourite book? It's a three-way tie, baybee!

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury: I wrote a bang-up college admissions essay on this book and why it's not actually about censorship (as is usually but incorrectly taught) but rather about a disinterest in books/reading or an anxiety about the intense emotions that reading can bring out in the reader and I want to major in English so please let me come to your school to do that. And, guess what? They did. I read this book and then I felt feverish for, like, a week after. That's how hard it hit me, especially surrounded by high school classmates who really didn't care about school or reading or anything. It was like "fuck, this is too close to possible!" Anyway, it's still not about censorship.

Ulysses by James Joyce: This book, this thing, has such a reputation of being Evil and Dirty. So I read it. Fuck it, why not? Actually, I had been assigned some stories out of Dubliners to read over the Thanksgiving break my freshman year and I was kind of like "why the fuck did no one ever tell me to read these before now?" So I went and read Portrait of the Artist. N.B.: I think I was ~18 or 19 at the time and that thing hit me like not just a ton of bricks but about six tons of bricks. Like, I know I'm part of the .05% of people who actually like The Catcher in the Rye, but I think that's because I read it when I was ~15 or 16, because I was the ideal age and in the ideal mindset to read it. (The older I get, the more I identify with Holden's teacher, Mr. Spencer, who essentially tells Holden that if you can just hang on, I promise it gets better and you can do the shit you want really soon. But I also know how badly that would have gone over with my 16 year-old self, so...) So, anyway, in internet parlance, I realized I was kin with Stephen Dedalus, right? The only natural next step after PotA was Ulysses, since that picks up after PotA, so I just jumped into that with a copy from the used bookstore and separate annotation book from my school's library. And, o my fuck, Jim, you fucko, how did you do this? Like "I'm gonna create so many references and so many layers that you're going to have fun picking at this for years." And he was right! I have never been to Dublin but I can navigate the older parts of the city thanks to this dirty, profane, vulgar, obscene piece of literature lmao. I finished it the first time when I was almost 22, Stephen's age in the book. I went to Europe that summer, 2004, which was 100 years after the events in the book (1904) and intended to play at being Stephen, but that shit did not work out as planned and ended up being more accurate to canon than expected: i.e. everything was terrible and I suffered very artistically. I had planned on going to Ireland this year, because I turned 38 this year, Leopold Bloom's age in the book. 2020 wasn't having it. So maybe 2021? Or maybe 2022, the anniversary of its publication. This thing hangs in the background for me constantly and it's like the most amazing running joke in my life. I dressed up as Stephen for Halloween in 2004 too. Just sayin’.

Gravity's Rainbow: When I was working at a major chain bookstore immediately after college, it was retail hell and I was extremely depressed and everything sucked. I had no direction, no plan, no nothing. I kind of wanted to go get a PhD in English, though. So I started using my employee's discount to buy and read all the books that everyone seemed to talk about but had never read. Among those was Gravity's Rainbow, which was a title that intrigued me but I had no idea what it was "about." And saying what it's "about" isn't all that easy but that's kind of not the point. Just know that it's a dirty little book about sex and rockets. The point is the fuckery that our boy Tom Pynchon does with words and language and imagery and little winking references to things. I fucking love it. It's like, yeah. It's set during World War II and immediately after and it's bonkers and the author wrote most of it while very, very high. I went on and read the rest of his books (The Crying of Lot 49 is pretty much tied with GR for my affections; I would cosplay a theatrical interpretation of a Tristero courier if I ever had the opportunity) and bought Against the Day literally on the day it came out because I had become that much of a dork. (I also read Finnegans Wake about this time, which I also really love, a fact which really unsettles some people.)

Why can’t I be normal? I have no idea. I blame my past and my proclivities. 

Ask me stuff! Put question in, get blathering out!

[arthurs-wife]

Cleopatra - 1/?

tigerlilywine said to arthurs-wife:Hey, been reading your drabbles. I think you capture Arthur real well. M!reader and all. You've ever thought of a... future au? They are still cowboys but they jump to worlds instead of areas. Bounty hunters in space. Reader is royalty of one alien species (close to humans) and gets kiddnapped. King hires the gang to save em? (Fluff is a must but smut is optional, though I'm sure you can work it!) It is an idea tho lol keep doing what you're doing!

A/N: because i’m extra as hell, i wrote a ton of lore for this and wanted to throw this up to see if theres interest because I can go on and on with this future shit.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x M!Reader Words: 1.7k Summary: Working for the agency of Lemoyne Department of Defense Services in the year 2149, Arthur Morgan and his gang struggle to complete as many jobs as they can before the Terran Bureaucracy can dissolve it completely. With the promise of one final, multi-million dollar job, Arthur Morgan is sent on a mission to rescue the kidnapped hybrid child of Tavantis’ human King and angel Ruler, going head to head with the Bureaucracy itself. 

If Arthur could change one thing about this bureaucratic hellscape it would be the Jump Queues.

Ten minutes to get to the damn thing, twenty minutes in the queue, another ten while the nice pre-Mars lady checked your license and asked about you and how’s that nice boy doing? What was his name?

“Lenny, ma’am,” Arthur said, hand over his eyes.

“When is he going to come back up here and visit me?” she tittered. The sounds of a mechanic keyboard could be heard in the background, painfully slow.

“Whenever I can rip him from his computer,” Arthur shrugged, staring blankly out of the cockpit’s windshield.

“And where are you heading today, Mister Morgan?” she asked.

“Chantakor,” he read from his console, “the Tavantis continent.”

Another five minutes to punch that unfortunate name in.

“Three jumps,” she declared, “the credits will be taken from your account.”

Arthur grumbled.

“You’re good to go Mister Morgan, jump safe!”

“I will, ma’am,” Arthur promised and sat up straighter as the portal ahead of him turned bright hot-purple and his engines were taken out of lock.

He cut the comms channel and another message came through immediately, buzzing in his ear like it couldn’t wait another five god damn minutes.

“Arthur?” Hosea blared through, “are you there yet?”

“Yep,” he said, pushing up on the throttle and sending his LASO into the portal. The comms cut out, but that was to be expected when you jumped through space beyond light speed.

First jump through and Hosea was back, Arthur turned his ship to face the next portal.

“You said you were there,” Hosea deadpanned.

“And I lied,” Arthur shrugged, speeding up, “you better get to your point before the next one.”

“I just wanted to s-”

Second jump and Arthur blasts through.

“You know Arthur, you’re a real piece of sh-”

Third jump and thank goodness, any more and Arthur’s head would be spinning.

“I’m at Chantakor now, Hosea,” Arthur said, powering down his drives and folding out the secondary wings.

He had never been to Chantakor before, partially due to its royal status in the Galactic System and damn was it a fine sight to behold.

Arthur leaned forward to peer out of his windshield at the whirlwind of activity near the main gate, thousands of LASOs, Chantakorian ships that dwarfed even the largest transport LASO. Humans were good at many things but apparently not at making decent ships. The Chantakorian transports gleamed in the light of the binary suns, making them shimmer like waves.

He almost missed his stop, the heavily guarded gate above the Tavantis continent that would lead him directly to the King’s quarters.

“Are you done being an asshole?” Hosea clips in. Arthur can just hear his arms crossing.

“Yes I’m done,” he said, fiddling with knobs and allowing the Chantakor fields to pull him in carefully.

“Alright listen,” Hosea started, “the King is expecting you any minute now. All you have to do is get in there, get his information on where his child is, and get the hell out of there.”

“His-” Arthur did a double take at nothing, his LASO stopping at the zero-G gate, “his what now?”

“I probably should have mentioned this is a kidnapping bounty,” Hosea said apologetically.

“Who’s the asshole now, Hosea?” Arthur blurted, tapping on his console. Apparently long queues were universal.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, son,” he said, “but it’s a lot of money and you’re our best.”

Arthur grumbled again.

“I will be getting the largest cut of this,” Arthur pointed threateningly at the comms, “and I will be taking the longest vacation afterwards.”

“Whatever you need to do, Arthur,” Hosea said, “but we need this. This job could get most of our systems back online.”

Yes, yes, the fabled systems Lenny and Karen had been working on since… forever it seemed. Arthur was ushered into the planet’s atmosphere and he banked down, heading to the private landing zone of the King himself. He couldn’t muster up any amazement.

He hit a button and the LASO unfolded its wheels as it touched the ground lightly and rolled along the tarmac towards the stupidly ornate building he assumed belonged to the King.

The angels were never a race that Arthur had been acquainted with either. The angels had a proper race name, but they had been dubbed so by the god-fearing human race due to their strikingly similar features to biblical angels. They were tall, gender neutral, majestic pillars that humanity had no business dealing with but dealt with anyway.

The LASO came to a stop in a hangar and Arthur powered it down, clambering out of the seat with some difficulty and opening the hatch. Chantakor was temperate and mild, almost a boring sort of weather if Arthur wasn’t used to the dramatic patterns of Earth.

He was met by two seven foot tall angels who ushered him to the main gate and the halls within the King’s palace. At this distance he could make out more features of the angels, they were all some variance of blue or green or grey, they had feathers all over them, and great big feathery wings that folded up neatly behind them. Their legs were like bird’s legs without all the scales and they were covered in feathers too.

They mumbled something in their native tongue, which sounded like trills and whistles, occasionally glancing back at Arthur. They reached a set of silver doors and turned to face him.

“You’ll see our Ruler now,” the taller one said, their great blackish-purple wings bustling behind them. Arthur held up a thumb to show he was ready to go, in true human fashion.

Also in true human fashion, the angel rolled their eyes and opened the set of doors, letting him in the room. All of the ceilings were cathedral style, towering up over them at almost 20 feet tall. It looked like the angels were just as fond of showmanship as humans were, as the entire room was festooned with colorful curtains and lights. In the far center was who Arthur assumed was the Ruler.

They stood a whopping eight feet tall, taller than any being had ever stood in front of Arthur, and they were bright. Their wings were massive and unfurled to their full extent, shining gold and green like old bronze in the sun. Eyes set wide in a dark face, they blinked several times and scrutinized the dirty man in their throne room.

“Howdy,” Arthur said unceremoniously.

“Are you Arthur Morgan?” they said in the same clipped accent, settling back in on their nest.

“Yes, uh, your Grace.”

“Thalia will do.”

“What’s this about a kidnapping I hear?” Arthur said, supremely indifferent to the angels and their customs.

“My kin has been taken,” Thalia mused with a face so indifferent that Arthur wondered if they actually cared or not, “and my world has shattered.” Of course they cared, Arthur, what’s wrong with you?

“When did this happen?”

“Twenty cycles ago,” they answered.

Arthur counted on his fingers for a moment to add it up.

“Alright so a couple nights ago,” he said, bringing out his comms pad and typing something in, “any ideas at all about who may have taken them?”

“I think my partner may have more information than I,” Thalia turned back and whistled something in their native tongue. The door behind them opened and a tired looking human man strode through and noticed Arthur. As he got closer he extended his hand and Arthur took it.

“I assume you’re the man here about my son?” he asked and Arthur nodded. It was the first time he had heard someone refer to an angel with a pronoun. Then a whole other set of questions popped up in his head. As if he read his mind, the King nodded and waved a hand, gesturing for Arthur to come sit with him.

“Are you familiar with the Llinovan?” he asked and Arthur sat down with him, thinking on it for a moment before realizing the Llinovan were the angels’ proper species name. He shook his head. “When humans first met the Llinovan many years ago there was an initial power struggle. Since then we have lived in harmony, myself and my wife included.”

“Does that mean…?”

“Yes,” the King nodded, “it means my son is part angel and part human.”

Arthur thought about the implications of this.

“You mean to tell me,” he started, “that humans and angels can have kids?”

“Yes,” the man replied, “and it’s not just us. There are thousands of hybrids now, all in hiding. Since they’ve grown in numbers, the human ambassadors on Chantakor have noticed, and they don’t approve.”

“I can imagine.”

“That’s who has taken my son,” the King sighed, looking straight at Arthur.

“I’m not,” Arthur stuttered, holding up a hand, “I can’t go toe to toe with the Terran Bureaucracy, that’s suicide.”

“Even with such a handsome reward?”

“Hosea never told me how much.”

“60 million credits.”

“God damn!” Arthur blurted out before hushing himself quickly. Several of the angels and the Ruler had turned to look at him. The King finally let out a little smile.

“It is my understanding that your community needs the credits,” he went on, “I intend on rewarding anyone who challenges the strong arm of the Terran Bureaucracy for what they’ve done to the human race.

Arthur thought a moment, mulling over the state of Earth, the constant rebuilding of the communities, the lush paradise of Amazonia that only the richest could afford to step foot onto.

“Alright,” Arthur nodded finally, “alright, where can I find these people?”

“The higher ups won’t have gotten their hands dirty with this,” the King said, standing up, “they’ll have sent their versions of bounty hunters to claim him and take him to another world. My guess is Niston, just a jump away.”

“I’ll get right to it then,” Arthur nodded and stood up with him, moving towards the door.

“And Mister Morgan,” the King called after him, “I’m very sorry to hear about LDDS, they have done very good work for us in the past and I’m angry to see them go.”

“Yeah, me too,” Arthur grumbled and tried not to think about it.

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘The Beguiling Man’ Review

"Their whole life they’ve been hearing a story about who you are. And you’re the enemy in that story."

In episode two of its second season, American Gods finds a reason to tell us the tragic story of Shadow's past. And it's... basically one of the less interesting episodes of Daredevil.

That's disappointing.

To be more specific, it's disappointing that they felt the need to devote half an episode to telling us the tragic story of Shadow's teenage years, because the story they tell here is essentially the same 'outsider teen moves to a new town and encounters local bullies' story that we've seen a thousand times before. It's The Karate Kid, in which the role of Mr. Miyagi is played by maternal cancer.

The underlying problem here is that there is just no reason for them to be telling this story to us in the first place, either in the metanarrative or the narrative sense. Mr. Town, played by the always welcome Dean Winters, has Shadow rigged up to a big ominous machine, and mentions Shadow's mom once. That's it. That's all the narrative justification we get for why we're being told this story at this time. Somehow that one mention of his mother inspires him to remember how his mom brought him back from France to live in Brooklyn, and how he got beat up that one time, she started dying of cancer, he got so upset about that that he went right out and beat up the guys that attacked him earlier, then she died and that was that.

And I hate to say it, but just reading that last paragraph gives you pretty much the same experience as watching it play out over twenty odd minutes of this episode's runtime. Which is too bad, because it's not like there isn't a lot of good stuff just waiting to be explored here. Olunike Adeliyi, playing Shadow's Mom – and how telling is it that she never gets identified as more than that – is actually really good when her dialogue stops being a stream of character information and 'deep meditations on the human soul.'  Watch the moment when she breaks from doing that to tell Shadow that she's going to stop for drinks with somebody named Jerry, and you witness a revelation. In that moment, she goes from being a mouthpiece for things the scripts wants to have said out loud and becomes an actual, interesting person. And I want to know more about that person, because she honestly sparkled at that moment and you could see why Shadow loved her. But we don't get to see more than a moment or two of that, because the script wants to make sure that we know that she's read Siddhartha.

It feels like a case of a screen writer not trusting the audience to understand the subtext, and this show is above that sort of thing.

Similarly, Shadow is mugged, he gets his CD player back and runs for it. And the Brooklyn cops see a black kid running with a portable CD player and arrest him, either instead of or along with his attempted muggers, it's not entirely clear. That's a huge moment that is way, way too true about America still today, but it gets completely thrown away because Shadow's Mom just wants to talk more about how much light is in him. Honestly, I wish that they'd either explored the more interesting stuff that gets sidelined here, or just told us through dialogue that Shadow's Mom had died of cancer and left it at that, because the story that they chose to tell here just ultimately didn't feel like it had anything in particular to say. I feel like I should add though that Gabriel Darku did a good job with the material he was given, and was believable as a young Shadow Moon.

OK, enough about that, because there's a whole other half to this episode and that's where all the good stuff really was.

When we left our heroes, the restaurant had been shot to Hell, Zorya Vechernyaya was dead, and Shadow had been spirited off into the night via helicopter. Here the show seems to run into a bit of a problem with not knowing what to do with all of the characters currently in play. They deal with the situation by generally having them all disperse in pairs on separate missions, which more or less works. Ifrit the Jinn and Salim ride off to the corn palace to fetch Odin's spear, not to be seen again this week. One can only assume that we'll catch up with them later, and how absolutely adorable was Salim, sitting in the sidecar and beaming at being allowed to come along. You two drive safe, we'll see you, presumably, later in the season. Probably right at the end, I would guess.

Wednesday and Mr. Nancy head off to Cairo, Illinois, although they don't get there this week, and I honestly struggled to remember where they were going every time the action cut back to them. They were basically in a holding pattern while other events got into their proper placement for what's going to happen in Cairo. But damn if it wasn't an enjoyable holding pattern to watch. I would tune in weekly for the road trip adventures of Wednesday and Nancy, even if nothing ever happened besides the two of them bantering. The entire exchange about the bucket of fried chicken, which I will not spoil here if you haven't watched it, was better than 95% of broadcast television.

Shadow, we see, has been hooked up to the previously mentioned big ominous machine, which doesn't actually appear to do anything except hold Ricky Whittle up in a sexy and dramatic way, but I suppose that's a noble enough goal. It would be nice if we ever got any clear indication of what exactly Mr. Town wanted out of the situation. Sometimes it seemed like he was trying to convince Shadow to switch sides and join the new gods, sometimes it seemed like he was trying to get information, and sometimes it seemed like he was simply torturing him for no particular reason. Unfortunately, we're not likely to ever get an explanation, since he appears to be dead either just before or immediately after the end of the episode. Ah, well.

But the real MVP, and the only real reason to ever watch this episode again, is the continuing adventures and burgeoning friendship of Laura Moon and Mad Sweeney. Pablo Schreiber and Emily Browning have great chemistry together, and both excel at playing broken, friendless assholes who make a connection with one another despite both of them trying as hard as they can not to do so. When Sweeney says, 'Is that how you ask for a favor,' you can tell by the look on his face that he'd pretty much die to help Laura and this point, and he'd definitely die before he'd ever admit it. Everything they do together is wonderful and complicated and they're by far the best thing the show has going on that didn't come from the book.

Quotes:

Wednesday: "Mama-Ji, you hear the battle cries. May I count on your blades?" Mama-Ji: "You brought the fight to my doorstep. I have no choice but to resume the lopping of heads, drinking of blood, and liberating of souls. That is, if I can swap my weekend shift with Arjun."

Sweeney: "…And God didn’t f**k up your life. You did a great job of that all by yourself." Laura: "Well, it was my life to f**k up." Sweeney: "Indeed it was. And you f**ked the shit out of it, didn’t ya?"

Bulquis: "Love and war may sit on opposite sides of a coin, but only so they may never meet."

Sweeney: "Last week you could have lifted an entire f**kin’ elephant. Two f**kin' elephants if my nuts are the judge."

Laura: "What do you usually drive, horse and buggy?" Sweeney: "Says the corpse who flipped an ice cream truck."

Bits and Pieces:

-- Apparently Bilquis was supposed to talk the old gods out of joining Wednesday, but didn't try that hard.

-- They showed us that Shadow was on a train early on, then wasted a lot of time having us watch Laura work that exact same information out. That's sloppy plotting.

-- I can only assume that Ricky Whittle was excruciatingly uncomfortable filming this week.

-- What is up with the restaurant owners and staff? They just got shot up and people died, and yet there are no cops on the scene, and the restaurant is somehow still serving pancakes for Sweeney.

-- Technical Boy's search for Media got a little further this week. Going to Times Square was a clever idea to find her what with all the screens. The show is still playing coy on revealing Gillian Anderson's replacement as New Media, though. All in all, that changeover has been very well handled. Looks like we get the reveal of New Media next week. Let's see if they stick the landing.

-- There's no way they could have known this in advance, but it was so very nice to have a respectful and peaceful representation of Islam this week.

-- What does Ifrit think of Salim's prayers and faith? I'd be interested to know.

-- Ricky Whittle is 37, and Young Shadow appeared to be about 17 or thereabouts. That would imply that the Brooklyn segments were taking place around 1999. I really dislike using the World Trade Center as a visual signifier for 'in the past,' by the way. It's a personal thing.

-- We were clumsily shown this week that Shadow doesn't know who his father is and his mother won't tell him. We pretty much all know where that's going, even if they had been remotely subtle about it. Which they were not.

-- Wednesday's eulogy for Betty the car, as he waits for Shadow's train to plow into her on the railroad tracks, is a thing of strange beauty and inexplicable dignity.

-- Seriously though, you need to stand a lot further away than that if a train is about to hit a car. I know this from experience.

-- Sweeney takes Laura through something he refers to as 'The Hoard' to get catch up with Shadow.  I'm assuming that that's 'hoard' as in a big collection of treasure.  They don't appear to have passed through James McAvoy.

I really hate to say this sort of thing, but the show just hasn't felt the same without Fuller and Green. The strange ambient noise and slow motion shots of fluid in motion are pretty much all gone, the storytelling is significantly more linear, and I really think the show is weaker for the change. But, of course, we're only two episodes in. I really shouldn't judge too much yet.

Two out of four buckets of chicken. Almost entirely due to Laura and Sweeney. Just fastforward to their parts, and assume everything else works out all right.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[sleepymarmot]

notes on Winter post-mortem that grew into a list of my remanining lore questions. I’m trying to compress everything in a single post to avoid spamming the main tag

I’m incredibly confused by the statement that the Erasure happened 1000+ years after Marielda. I'm pretty sure Samol directly said that the Erasure was a significant period of time that was directly caused by the ending of Marielda (aka gods losing the ability to undo disasters)? And I remember hearing that the 1000+ year period was between the Erasure and the present day, not between Marielda and the Erasure? And at the end of the answer Austin even said that?

Really interesting to hear Jack explain why the pedal sounds etc were intentional, because I’ve been wondering about that! you don’t often hear that in soundtrack recordings so I found them distracting - not because I necessarily dislike the sounds themselves but because I didn’t know if they were intentional - or not and I should mentally subtract them. still, idk how I personally feel about that? I like hearing the natural sounds of instruments being played when I’m specifically listening to music, but in a soundtrack, music is another inseparable aspect of the world, and being aware that there’s a real instrument being played breaks that illusion? like now there’s the fictional world, and there’s, separately, a musician in a room, instead of a whole thing that consists of narration & music & thoughts in my head

I don't understand why Ephrim dying by Ordennan steel means he doesn't go to Adelaide? If he were a citizen of Nacre he wouldn't meet her, right - that's why Hella met Tristero and nobody in Nacre knew it were possible? Austin explained this like twice and I still don’t get it

Wait, so the disappearance of the sun was unrelated to Hadrian’s failed roll and Ephrim stealing the underground sun? How were we supposed to figure that out lol Anyway I have questions about that blade/sun too! It didn’t function like a sun when it was forged, right? (Which is why I unitl the very end didn’t think it was the sword from Marielda) But why is it in b/w? Because it’s incomplete without the hilt? How did it even get separated from the hilt? Also was it ever clearly explained what was up with the halflings in the Meeting House? Why do they look different under different light but both images are true? Why are they these ghosts of the past? The underground societies the other party encounters have lived and evolved since the time they were archived, right? So what’s different about Rosalind & co? I relistened to that scene, and seems like the Crescent Sun has a bunch of different effects: shows everything in black and white; makes Rosalind & co look ghoulish (in normal light they look normal); makes Mother Glory look like an ancient gnoll; reveals the door handle/opening mechanism that definitely exists but can’t be seen otherwise. So what’s the common denominator here, what does it show? The original form - how something looked or would have looked in the past (MG)? The current form (the halflings)? The true form?

Okay so what is the origin of Ordenna: Hella’s ancestor leaving Nacre, or mages messing with the Heat and the Dark? The mages created the island (by tearing it away from the continent?), and the ancestor & co settled it, right? But was she one of these mages or was her University background unrelated to this? Also, there are lots of islands around Hieron, but no others are separated from Samol’s humanoid body! What’s up with that? Oh another Ordenna question: how do they always zone in on Hella’s sword? They found Nacre, they found the island - how? Wtf does it emanate that they detect? This hasn’t been explained yet, right?

I’m worried about Lem because Jack sounded entirely too eager to let him dig himself deeper and make every possible worst decision and it kinda came off like “the listeners liked/romanticized this character too much so I’ll SHOW them what’s up! I’ll prove how bad he is!”. So I really hope that in Spring he’ll get someone as a moral compass. Hella and Hadrian got to have that the whole season, in each other! Lem deserves no less! Let him have positive character development please. Can he learn there are consequences to his actions before he has to change alignment to Evil or something

how did I not notice the Samot/Samothes & Arrell/Alyosha parallel

“our fans asked not to spoil c/w” *everyone immediately starts talking about the ending*

Do Marielda reconfigurations count as “previous versions of history"? Are there a zillion weekly backups of slightly different versions of the same street blocks piled on top of each other somewhere?

I also want to know more about the Church of the Dark Son. Which strata did it start on. When. How.

Is Samol only the continent or the surrounding ocean/sea too? Is there an ocean floor or does the water magically float on Nothing too? Is the whole thing in a planetary shape or flat, with borders you can fall off?

Also I wonder what would happen if Samol died. People just keep living on his dead body until it falls apart? That sounds really gruesome

Y’all being here now, I can feel Adelaide now. I can feel her here. Before y’all were here, the reach of Tristero [inaudible] still in Nacre. I couldn’t have died before, so thank you for coming, reconnecting me to my kin. Like I said, it had been a while. It’s the whole thing with Samothes - couldn’t die all the way cause Tristero hadn’t been there.

Wait, what? I thought it was the opposite? Samothes died because Tristero wasn’t there to bounce him back? Also everyone else dies just fine without Tristero, it’s belonging to his domain that makes them unable to die to a point? HELP LITERALLY EVERY PIECE OF INFORMATION MAKES ME UNDERSTAND DEATH LORE LESS

This is not a question for once, but I was relistening to the Samot minigame in Autumn and almost jumped out of my skin when I heard: “What’s it see, in my essence?” “Nothing”

Holy shit! I completely forgot about this part, I thought the thing about Samot’s origin was just invented in Marielda and had no roots in the game

[cloverscircle-blog]

PIPER MESSINGER is TWENTY-SIX years old and lives in BARDSEY GROVE. She is a FEMALE and works as a MAID at LITTLE SPOON MOTEL. She has been in Clovers Circle for 26 YEARS, is portrayed by KAYA SCODELARIO, and is played by ADMIN B.

Trigger Warnings: car crash, death

Most parents only want the best for their children and the Messinger’s were, more or less, like most parents. More than the best for their child, they wanted the best for themselves. The child, growing fast in her mother’s womb, would make a name for herself in the world; she would become a household moniker. It was necessary to bring the family fame and fortune, luxe and lucre. Or, at the least, be successful enough to move them out of the shit hole they thought Clovers Circle was. The expectation was there. However, Piper would never quite live up to it. A childhood drowning beneath the pressure of her parents’ projections budded a resentment for her family, steering her to find refuge under the roofs and in the arms of others. All the while, Piper managed to conceal her growing bitterness at home. Smarter than was anticipated of her, Piper dared to pretend she was the prized jewel of their hopes and dreams for the first seventeen years of her life.

At times when Piper felt like lashing out, she would frequently ride her bike out a mile in the direction of nowhere just to kick at the dirt and repeatedly scream and grunt at the greatest decibel she could manage. Again, the girl was smart. She despised that anyone could think she was stupid enough to succumb to inhabiting a life as their pawn for a better tomorrow. At seventeen, when her patience had finally worn to smithereens, she masterfully plotted her escape from her idea of hell in being leashed to her parents’ reigns. However, before she could breathe life in her seamless plan of action, circumstances took a turn in her favor. To be clear, none of what would come after was part of prior arrangements made by Piper; certainly, it was rather convenient to say it was Piper’s doing. Anyone who knew her true begrudging against her family might have connected the dots at least once, but then that’s where she never screwed up; she never told other people of the spite she felt toward her parents, not even her closest friends. No, these were the kind of secrets she kept to herself and would take to her grave.

Accidents were called just that for good reason. It was mid-January when it happened. Roads varnished with a thin sheen of ice, the only lights then came from the headlamps of cars passing through. It happened in slow motion, or at least Piper liked to think it did, as she wasn’t actually there. She imagined glass particles shattering and slicing through the air, their eyes slamming shut from the force of collision. Like the scripted shit in a goddamn movie. The victims of the crash: her mother, father, and an unnamed drunken driver with broken headlights. Especially when she didn’t get to witness and endure the scene herself, she felt all the more reason to let her imagination run its course. Piper’s father died upon impact from the oncoming vehicle and her mother was left in an indefinite state of comatose. It was unsure when she would resume her conscious mind, or if she would ever, but Piper made sure she never did.

With no next of kin other than a juvenile daughter who would be adult enough in some months to make a decision for her life or death, Piper waited patiently once more. Clever little thing, she was. It couldn’t be too obvious; she wouldn’t say the words until she was at least eighteen and three months. She couldn’t be too exact, either––maybe eighteen and eighty-one days. It would have been too soon otherwise. “Do it– i-it’s what sh-she would have wanted,” she lied in feigned tremors, “I ca–an’t watch h…I can’t watch her like this anymore. She wouldn’t want to be like this.” Crocodile tears rolled down the sides of her face, a stream of salty secretion matting loose pieces of her mangled locks. God it was perfect. It was so well-rehearsed that Piper may have even surprised herself with the performance of her life. It was a play of tragedy worthy of theatrical accolade. Not a single person could see the expertly hidden curl of her lips beneath the facade of grief. Leaving the hospital that evening was a walk of liberation; the weight dampening her shoulders all those years had lifted and it felt like for the first time, she was allowed air to fill her lungs. End scene.

❛❛  she tells lies, and i pretend to believe them… ❜❜

An entire life spent in Clovers would probably compel most to leave, but Piper remained. While she had initially intended to move far, far away and adopt a new identity as part of her ploy to ditch her shit show of a life, her parents’ accident brought about reconsideration. She didn’t have to leave anymore. The decision came easy when the two biggest problems in her life were no longer looming over her shoulder and breathing instructions at her, or breathing at all. As weeks elapsed, then months, then years, it seemed Piper’s stay in Clovers was indefinite. It seemed she might spend the entire rest of her life within the confines of the quaint town––a real native. Perhaps to appease the occasional achy wanderlust, she would buy a plane ticket for here and a plane ticket for there but she knew in her heart of hearts, she wasn’t really going anywhere else.

Now in the ninth year following the accident, Piper has since held up just about every job you can imagine, save for one that involves swinging around a pole for pleasure-hungry audiences. Her latest record of employment involves working as a maid at the seedy Little Spoon Motel after being fired from the record store in Holywell. Losing her job had been a long time coming, with her time and attendance to blame; the only reason she was kept was because there was never anyone that worked quite as fast or as well as her––you know, when she did show up for work. Come this past summer, they finally called her out and she was let go. Piper has made it her life mission to be the antithesis of what her parents wanted her to be; the more they wanted her to pave a career path that paid off, the more she hated and avoided the idea. These days, she’s just trying to get on day by day and have a little fun along the way.

✽ — Piper has a lot of bad habits, most of which are there for everyone to see and know. A bit too much alcohol, a bit too many one-night-stands, a bit too much porn, too much junk food. Not to mention the screaming and the punching random objects when she is too angry.

✽ — However, there are also a few things, habits and secrets and memories, that she would never confess, not even under torture. One of these habits she would never admit of having is that, every time she has to have an important conversation or to give someone a speech, she gets to know it enough in advance and spends an awfully long amount of time practicing what she wants to say in front of a mirror. Piper knows that words aren’t her forte and so, when she can, she tries to prepare, not to make an ass of herself…or to make things worse instead of fixing them.

✽ — Despite the good purpose from which the habit is born, she still considers it an “embarrassing, girly habit” and, for this reason, she always makes sure that she is alone or that the door of the room is locked when she needs to practice. If anyone happens to be around, especially while she’s at the motel, she turns on music or the TV to make sure that her voice can’t be heard. And, if someone, anyone, happens to walk in on her, she would try and fail to play it off by starting to recite random movie quotes or to pretend to have been singing and totally not looking into the mirror.

( + ) Adaptable, Focused, Uncomplaining

( - ) Brutal, Dishonest, Meddlesome

[kincringeemporium]

"How Do I Stop Being Kin!?”: A Helpful Guide (Long Post)

so... yup. tumblr ate some of my archive, including one of my most important posts: a list of steps on how to distance yourself from the kin community. as there’s no way (that i know of) to get that post back... here’s this! 

how to use the guide: all complaints/problems that kin frequently send when they don’t want to be kin anymore? those are in large bold. each complaint has a list of steps on how to solve it; the steps (my responses) are just in the normal font. don’t see what you need? send an ask saying you want to see it in a part 2! 

“I don’t want to be kin with (x) anymore!” 

okay! this one centers mostly around keeping lists. and as i said to the most recent anon, the first step toward stopping is wanting to stop. 

1. get two separate sheets of paper (or start digital documents you can print later). on one, write “(Your Name) List”. on the other, write “(Kintype Name) List.” 

2. fill the YN List first. write down every one of your own traits that you can name. they can relate to appearance, gender, hobbies/interests, mental health, neurodiversity, hopes and aspirations, etc. these do not all have to be good things. try to have a 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 balance of good, bad, and neutral traits. (an example of a bad trait/habit is “nail biting”, because that’s harmful. not “brown hair”. if you don’t like your hair color put “brown hair” down as a neutral trait. it’s not bad, you just want a different color.) 

3. fill the KN (kintype name) list next. do not use “i”, “we”, “myself”, in this list becase it’s not about you. 

  • if it’s a fictional character, write down facts relating to the character’s creation. who’s the author/designer/creator? what year was the source released? what type of media is the source -- a fantasy book, a video game, a movie? emphasize that the character is fictional, not real (add ‘in this universe’ if you believe in the multiverse theory) and cannot be reincarnated. 

• if it’s an animal, write down all of its behaviors: does it eat meat? what sounds does it make? is it dangerous or not? now, if you believe in reincarnation, it’s way more plausible that animals can be reincarnated and their next lives can be as humans. emphasize that even if you were the animal in a past life, you are a human now -- it is not healthy to think you literally still are the animal and/or to behave like it. 

•  if it’s a part of nature, like a star or a tree, write down all the facts about it that you know and emphasize that it is not sentient, it doesn’t have a soul, and it cannot make choices or be reincarnated. 

keep the lists with you (as a physical copy/paper). 

4. tell yourself that it’s okay to like the character, animal, or thing, it’s okay to feel that it represents part of who you are. it’s okay to feel comforted by it when you’ve had a shitty day or you’re in a bad mood. feeling these things does not automatically make you kin. write these down on a small piece of paper and keep the paper with you. 

5. even though it is okay to like the character/animal/thing, slowly start avoiding content that includes it. if you are trying to stop being fictionkin, do not watch the source. stay away from fanfic, pictures, etc, that make you have strong emotions about it. 

6. if you ever are feeling guilty about something your kintype did (and this applies mostly to villain kin), you are projecting. whether you’re feeling guilty about your own mistakes without realizing, or you want the chance to fix something/apologize, you are projecting. if you are acting out what you really, really want the villain to do -- ie, you relate to them strongly but they’re not repentant and you want them to be... rp. start a roleplay blog, write a redemption au. look back at your lists again. 

• if it’s not a villain, but you’re feeling guilty about something bad your kintype did, still do a bit of rp and keep looking back at those lists! 

7. whenever you have “kinfeels” or “kin memories”, look at your YN and KN lists. read them to remind yourself that you are not the same person as the character, not the same being as the animal, and not something inanimate. 

8. try new things and (now i’m not saying this to be a bitch) go outside. i mean it. vitamin d is good for you. you don’t have to exercise, but if you are able to, go for it. visit the library, the park, a coffee shop, the mall, anywhere. test out new hobbies, like 

• writing fiction (could be about the character/animal/thing, if this is how you maintain a connection with it while not identifying as it) 

 • traditional drawing  

 • digital drawing 

 • sewing, knitting, or crochet 

• writing movie critiques/analyses 

• jewelry making 

• making non-kin-related selfcare 

• sports 

“I want to get out of the community, but I’m not ready to let go of my kintypes!” 

so you’re not ready? okay. this is still your first step. you will fuck yourself over badly if you push yourself to 100% stop being kin before you can function without it. this is true in situations like abusive households or trauma: if you pretend that you’re someone else who’s never had to deal with those things, you are using escapism to let off stress and unwind. 

1. change your blog theme. i know it sounds dumb and unrelated. however, having a visual change will make you more inclined to change other things -- and it will start to tell other people in the community that you are able to change. 

2. update your about, kin page, and byf. take things like “don’t follow if you don’t see me as (kintype)”, “no doubles”, and kin-related discourse out of those pages. anything that typically appears in kin cringe comps? take it out. (look through my blog for example of typical cringe comp material.) 

• don’t say “literally me”, “100% me”, “ID” about the kintypes you list. 

• instead of having separate sections for “primary”, “secondary”, “tertiary”, things like that... just say “kintypes” once and list them/insert their pictures. 

• do NOT link to others’ blogs saying “this person is my (canonmate name)!” or “i found my (important canonmate)! 

• whatever your stance on ace discourse... take that out of your pages. i have no idea why, but the kin community is fucking overrun with people thinking that aces/aros aren’t lgbtq+. removing this discourse from your blog will remove you from another common kin community behavior. (it’s totally okay to post ace/aro positivity, but don’t involve yourself in heavy discourse and don’t put “Aces/aros are/aren’t lgbtq!” on your about/kinpage/byf.) 

3. if you list kin friends or kin blogs on one of your pages, consider taking out the links and just describing the friends/blogs. this will distance your blog from the network of kin on here. 

4. instead of requesting “kintype selfcare/positivity” from those kin resource blogs: 

• reblog aesthetics that remind you of the kintypes, but is not labeled as “(kintype) aesthetic”. 

• make some aesthetics yourself based on the kintypes. if you’re tagging, then just use general tags (ie, “kin”, “otherkin”, or “fictionkin”), not specifically the character’s name or the type of animal you identify with. 

• write positive affirmations for yourself, such as “i got enough sleep so this will be a better day!” or “i didn’t lie in bed all day so i feel motivated!” or “i ate something healthy instead of junk food!” 

• if you’re writing affirmations specifically about a kintype, don’t refer to the kintype using “i” or “we”. instead, write “(character) tries their best to fix wrongdoings, so i will too!” or “(character) makes an effort to overcome anxiety, so i’m going to try harder too!” or “(animal) isn’t inherently bad/gross; it’s trying to survive like me!” 

• basically, when writing positivity/affirmations, pick a trait that the kintype has that you want to have too. don’t just say “i have this trait because i am (kintype)!” 

• sorry not sorry, but the overwhelming majority of the positivity on those blogs is useless. it might make you feel better for a couple minutes, but it’s superficial. even if the person running the blog genuinely wants people to feel better, they are still operating under the obligation to give positivity. 

it is not as genuine as it should be. the person doesn’t know who you are, and they might not know a lot about the kintype. the positivity from those blogs is generic, ie, “even if you’ve done some bad things, you’re not a bad person!” You need specifics, which only you can come up with -- because only you know yourself. when something is vague or general, we think deep down that it’s not true. (btw, that’s the same psychology behind the “sounds fake but okay” meme.)

5. if your mutuals get into kin drama, or if you see kin drama on your dash, stay out of it. it does not matter right now if these people are your best friends in the world, because once the drama dies down, your url is still all over those posts. even if the people who started the drama delete the posts, other people have everything saved. the things you said in anger or anxiety or whatever are still on tumblr. and tumblr has an extremely difficult time recognizing that what someone said three months ago doesn’t define what they say now. 

6. unfollow people who have ‘typical cringe comp material’ on their pages and/or people who frequently are involved in drama. 

• if they have “ask to unfollow” on their pages, unfollow anyway. if they harass you about it, block them (and maybe report for... violating community guidelines. or harassment). DON’T PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGES. EVER. FOLLOWING YOU IS NOT A CHORE. MAKING PEOPLE ASK PERMISSION TO UNFOLLOW YOU CAN CAUSE THEM HUGE AMOUNTS OF ANXIETY. IT’S SHITTY AND ENTITLED. DON’T DO IT. 

7. if you’re going to send hate to antis, i can’t stop you, but for fuck’s sake, do that on anon. (”what!?” you say as you read this post. “but don’t antis think anon hate is cowardly!?”) you just don’t want to be known as someone active enough in the community to send off-anon shit. 

8. if i have or another anti/cringe blog has screenshotted your post/page, ask for it to be removed. no promises that other blogs will remove your stuff, but here on kce and over at @only-on-tomblr, we will. having your content up on popular cringe blogs can definitely get you recognized among the community, and you don’t want that. 

“I don’t want to rely so hard on being kin -- I want kin to be a casual thing!” 

1. first off, follow the “i want to get out of the community” list. you don’t have to stop identifying as kin, you just need to distance yourself from that network of over the top, hardcore kin people. 

2. recognize that kin is your coping mechanism. it is okay to use escapism (that’s what kin is tbh) to cope. it is okay to step away from reality, unwind, then go back to reality after a few hours of doing kin stuff/rp. 

3. recognize that any coping mechanism is going to be harmful when you take it too far. when it goes too far, it becomes an obsession. (because i am sure someone’s going to say this, i’m not dragging special interests. those are not the same as coping mechanisms gone wrong and this post does not relate to special interests.) 

4. guess what? you don’t need just one coping mechanism. and because you’re not completely dropping the kintypes, you need to focus your kin-related energy into a creative outlet. what i mean by that is... write about them. draw pictures of them. do commissions, even for people who have the same kintype. not to mention, if you write about/draw them a lot, you are getting so much better at those skills. 

5. optional: it would also help to make lists of your traits and the kintypes’ traits, like in the first section of this post. 

6. as with the other sections, do not refer to the kintypes as “myself”/”i”. 

that’s about it 

Other things you can do 

• write a brief analysis of an episode, movie, chapter, etc in which the character/kintype appears. what does the person/being do and why? how do their actions result in the episode/chapter/game/movie ending? how do other characters react to it? and how is this different from what you would do, right now, if you were in the same situation? (obviously no one has to see it, so doesn’t matter if it sucks) 

• interact with people who have the same kintype so you can become more comfortable with “doubles” and thus be less intense about being kin 

• when you’re watching/reading/playing/listening to new media (’source’), and you begin to have “kinfeels” for someone, step back. put the book down. pause the show or podcast. remind yourself that this is fiction. even if the multiverse does exist, your kintype cannot cross between universes and ‘be’ you. you are most likely projecting onto the character or you are inspired to create a similar character/oc. 

• aaand.... here it comes... oh god. oh no. limit your time on tumblr. do not spend all day on this forsaken hellsite.  

Things to absolutely NOT do 

• post anything like “why did the author put me/kintype in a relationship with a girl!? i’m gay!” all that does is imply that you think you have some kind of ownership over someone else’s character. it makes you look like you want everything to go your way -- and not everything can. i am not saying that to be a jerk. 

• ask people to unfollow you. as i said before (now, i don’t have anxiety so this isn’t from firsthand experience), do you have any idea how much anxiety that causes people? and how shitty a thing it is to do? 

• harass someone over being a double 

• tell them to unfollow/stop interacting because they are a double 

• compare being kin to being trans or nonbinary. for fuck���s sake. there’s no such thing as a “kingender”.

                     - even if your kintype was female in ‘your source’, but wasn’t                                  female in canon... that does not mean you are trans and it does                            not mean the kintype is trans.    

                    - even if you are trans yourself, it has absolutely nothing to do with                        you identifying as kin. they are not related. you are a trans person                        who also happens to be kin.    

                   - things like “canidgender: a gender that feels tough and ready to                           defend, a gender that makes you feel alert, a gender that....” are not                     real. gender is not an emotion. besides, these descriptions have                            nothing to do with gender. 

  • say that you have dysphoria about your kintype. again, if you have dysphoria, it’s because you are transgender/nonbinary. you do not have “species dysphoria” about your astral ears. just because it’s listed on google with a definition does not mean it’s legit. 

• use ‘kin pronouns’ like glitch/glitchs/glitchself. ne/nes/neself. star/stars/starself. it/its. the very concept of kin pronouns suggests that gender is automatically tied to kin. it’s not. and you are not an object. 

• send people hate or get into discourse about headcanons involving your kintype 

• tag art as “me” or “kin” or “id”. even if the artist says it’s okay, avoiding this is another way to distance yourself from a harmful community. if you need/want to keep a tagging system, just tag it with the character’s name or the type of animal. 

• tell someone that they are “your (important canonmate). 

• especially do not tell someone that your characters dated and that you must begin a romantic relationship because of that! 

• insist that someone just has to remember something that you remember! here’s an appropriate exchange on this. 

              you: “do you remember when our kintypes had that huge fight, then                     made up and dated for a few months? we drifted apart and stopped                    dating.” 

              them: “no... i recall something different.” 

               you: “oh. well, that’s okay!” 

comments i just know i’m going to get (they’re useless. don’t post them and don’t send them to me) 

• you’re policing our identities! 

•you can’t dictate how we cope! 

• you can’t take away our fun! 

• how would you know how this stuff works? you’re not kin! 

• ableist! 

• go do something productive! 

• i don’t care. i’m doing these things anyway! 

-k 

[jasontoddiefor]

I wish you would write a fic where Katsuki Bakugō meets Rin Okumura and they become bros and stuff :D

Title: Classroom BoredomFandom: Blue Exorcist x Boku no Hero AcademiaSummary: Somehow Katsuki expected more from a class just for those kin with demons. At least his seat neighbor was all right for an overly chatty wanna be knight.AN: AAAnd now completely done. Considering I was aiing for 500 wors originally and this is now three imes as long… this is set a few decades in the future of AnE! Also, here “Kin” means related to a Demon King. This doesn’t mean the Demon King himself necessarily but can also refer to demons associated with said Demon King.Katsuki Bakugou, 15 years old, kin of Ilbis, Exorcist in training and utterly bored. When he had signed up for the advanced exorcism class instead of just the mandatory one, fully set on actually working in the True Cross Order, he had expected glorious battles - not boring lessons.

All the hope he had put on the classes for those who were kin with demons had been shattered within a day too. School was boring. It was so much mindless studying and recitation and remembering- the kind of things Deku was interested in but never Katsuki.

As Miwa sensei lectured, one by one everyone fell asleep. Even Deku was distracting himself by growing some weird ass plants on his arm. When he was doing things like that, it was hard to imagine that somewhere blood of the crazy and weird as hell Earth King was running through the teenager’s veins. Well, not that he was the only one, Satou and Mineta were related to the Earth King as well, but Deku was the only one who used his powers so weirdly. Perhaps he was the only one who could use his powers like that. Rumors had gone up that Deku was actually related to Amaimon, though Katsuki had yet to see prove.

Sighing he dropped his head on his desk. This class was so boring.

“Pssssht!”

Katsuki turned to his left. His seat neighbor, Egan- something he couldn’t recall, waved at him while smiling the probably biggest smile Katsuki had ever seen.

What the fuck.

“You’re bored too?” Egan asked.

For a moment Katsuki considered ignoring him, but finally decided against it.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome! Well- not really, but yeah. Mako- Miwa-sensei is a real bore, right?”

Katsuki could only nod. “The only really interesting lessons are Aizawa and Toshinori’s.”

At that Egan nodded. “Yes! Aizawa has some awesome Tamer stuff going on. His Nebari summons are hella creepy though. Toshinori’s Aria lessons are fun too! Do you have demon pharmaceutics? Yukio’s classes can be boring but you should-”

“EGIN!” Miwa interrupted. “Don’t interrupt class!”

“Yes, sir!” Egan- Egin shouted, waking everyone up who was asleep.

What a weirdo.He was bearable though.

The next weeks continued in similar matter. Whenever Katsuki was about to dose off, Egin would start a conversation until the teacher called them out. Sometimes they only talked for a few minutes, on other days for the whole lesson. And somehow, whenever Katsuki wasn’t bothered by Kaminari and Kirishima, Egin would hang out with him or worse: drag him to the rest of his classmates and have him socialize with them. Katsuki didn’t even know how Egin managed it. One moment the blonde was alone, the next he was sitting in a circle with the rest of the demon kin teenagers.At least he got some more information on Egin, who was weirdly blank. Yukio Egin, the pharmaceutics teacher, was apparently his older brother by ten years or so and Egin wanted to gain the Meister Knight and Aria. Egin was also shit at any recitations so the Aria Meister didn’t make a lot of sense to Katsuki until he heard the other teenager sing a whole lot of Latin bible phrases and prayers and what not. He honestly hadn’t expected that from a guy that sucked at remembering something as much as Egin.

The thing that interested Katsuki the most though, was who Egin was kin with. He had to be kin with some Demon King, otherwise he wouldn’t be in the same class as Katsuki.The summons Egin made weren’t really helpful solving that riddle either. Usually one stuck to their own kin and maybe another one that fit. But Egin apparently was the prime example for “screw the rules” as he summoned demons of all kinds and classes, often earning disapproving glances from Aizawa. But about that Egin didn’t seem to care too much. In general, even though he was in the top five, Egin seemed so give zero fucks about school. It was odd since he was such a straightforward and determined guy.

“Katsuki!” Egin called and waved at him. “Class is about to start!”

“I’m coming, idiot,” Katsuki said and dragged himself towards the gym.

Inside Egin had already managed to get into a heated argument with Kaminari on how good Egin actually was at summoning. It was starting to look a bit like a small or, hell, maybe even big disaster as Egin ran over to the only blackboard in the gym, a piece of chalk in hand. He erased the previously instructions on how to properly evade a demon to make place.

“I’ll show you then!” Egin declared and began to sketch a circle Katsuki wasn’t even sure of to what element it belonged.

“Bane of ancient times, here my call, by the blood of my kin, come forth!”

Not that he’d ever admit it, but what happened next scared him just a bit. One moment Egin appeared happy and successful, the next he was plucked from the ground and in that beast’s mouth. His classmates started screaming, terror slowly crawled inside the previously peaceful classroom. So this was actual combat.

No wonder they were still going to school.

Egin’s demon was terrifying. About five meters tall with at least a hundred yellow snake like eyes. Its mouth made up at least half of its body in total, the rest being a weird chimera like mix. The knowledge he had acquired in school so far couldn’t help him determine what this thing was. It radiated warmth, had spider legs, red scales, messy dark fur- it was a living nightmare. One that was about to kill Egin.Whatever courage Katsuki could muster up, he poured into his next action. He made his way towards the beast, fire already biting at his palms. No matter what this thing was, surely it would hurt it if Katsuki burned his eyes?He was nearly there when Asui hold him back.

“What the-“

“Your fire won’t help,” she informed him. “I can feel it. That thing is fire.”

“How would you know?!” Katsuki shouted. “That thing will kill Egin!”

“I’m kin with Egyn,” she told him, appearing rather unbothered by his temper. “And so far it hasn’t done much. It looks like it’s waiting for an attack.”

The worst was that Asui had a point. Recklessly and mindlessly storming into battle, wasn’t that something Egin had also told him to get under control. Katsuki turned to look at the demon again. It definitely was waiting for something as it made no move. It didn’t even try to devour Egin.

“What are we supposed to do then?” He asked.

“Iida’s run for a teacher and the rest,” she pointed to the other students, „are working on a strategy. Just because you have the fastest reaction, doesn’t mean the rest of us won’t do anything.”

“Fine,” Katsuki bit out just the moment the demon suddenly screamed.

Everyone jumped with fright, expecting the beast to suddenly lose control and go ahead and attack them. For one moment, nobody reacted. It felt as if everyone even stopped breathing, completely frozen.

“That’s enough.”

From behind the students, at the gym’s entrance, Egin’s older brother stood. Instead of looking panicked or even just worried, he appeared annoyed.

“Nii-san, stop with the act. You’ve had your fun. Now stop before the class seriously hurts themselves.”

“Spoilsport!” Egin’s voice rang through the building.

Katsuki couldn’t quite believe his eyes. The demon carefully dropped the completely uninjured Egin to the ground.

“You’re always ruining my classes. And do I have to remind you that your exam nearly got me killed?” Egin huffed as if moments before he hadn’t been dying.

“I didn’t even come up with your Exwire exam! It’s been decades! You can’t still be holding that against me, Rin!”

“I can and I will. Now-“

“What the fuck is going on?!” Katsuki expressed what all the other teenagers were asking themselves. Why was Egin alive and well and complaining about his brother ruining his classes.

“I’d like to know that as well,” Todoroki added while a bunch of their classmates nodded.

“This, my dear students, was your exam!” Egin exclaimed cheerily. “Allow me that I reintroduce myself. Okumura Rin, Honorable Knight and a bunch o other titles making me the glorified babysitter of my siblings, at your service. I’m your actual teacher, not Mako-kun. He was just my step in so I could observe whether you’d be worth my time.”

“Liar,” Egin- Okumura’s older brother said. “You would have taken the class regardless of what impression they make on you as long as it gets you away from your paperwork.”

“Shut it, Yukio. Not everyone can do paperwork for nearly a century and not go mad. You’re weird like that. Anyway, Ashido, you have to be careful with your summons. I’d stick to weaker once for now in stressful situations. Todoroki, just because you have a bit more power than the rest doesn’t mean you can-“

And Egin- Okumura latched into criticizing and/or praising how they all reacted and behaved just like a freaking teacher. Somehow Katsuki still couldn’t fathom what the fuck was going on but apparently that was alright because neither could his classmates.

AN: Basically (semi) immortal Okumura twins teaching Cram school and hiding their identities because have you tried going anywhere when everyone knows your name?

[sending-the-message]

Case #2- Youtube's Most Mysterious Vlogger Part 2 by JacobMielke

(Note: this is an update to my second case. To read Part 1, click here )

For the first two days, Moxxy didn’t answer my texts. Unusual for her, because she is very much a phone in hand kind of gal, but I let it go. Everyone needs space sometimes, right? On the third day she didn’t show for our coffee date and I tried calling her phone. A recorded message told me the number was disconnected. Then I began to worry. On day seven, after spending every minute I could at her favorite hangouts in hopes of seeing her, I decided something was definitely wrong.

I went to the police station to file a missing person's report and ended up making a fool of myself. We’d only known each other for about a month and a half and I’d yet to learn her address or any of her family’s names or even her last name. All I had was a defunct phone number, first name (Molly, which she hated, hence why she went by Moxxy) and description. I hoped that would be enough as Moxxy’s red hair and distinctive tattoos (of things like pokemon and Linda Blair’s face) stood out in a crowd, but apparently not. Without more information, there was nothing the police could do, though the sergeant promised to keep an eye out for her.

It didn’t matter anyway because I realized that night this was something the police couldn’t solve. They dealt in the material and their monsters were flesh and blood villains who followed the strict rules of the physical world. My monsters were more unpredictable.

I’ve never been the type to pay attention to dates unless I need to, and when I got home that day, I looked at a calendar for the first time in about a week. Then it clicked. The day Moxxy stopped texting me was July 11th, 2015. The anniversary of Scott Eric Cranston’s murder. And we’d wrapped up the case of Opperyke, the ghostly Youtuber, the week before. Or so I thought.

It was a hell of a coincidence, and I was rapidly losing my belief in coincidences.

I did fret at first that maybe I was wasting time chasing a supernatural explanation but what else could I do? Though I called myself an investigator, I wasn’t trained in any way. If the cops couldn’t find her, how could I? But I was the only one who could put the supernatural clues together, and I had to do something, even if Moxxy’s disappearance turned out to be a horror more suited to the world of police and sex traffickers and psychotic murderers.

The first step was to comb through the data we’d collected and see if there was anything relevant. It was a long shot, but thoroughness is a virtue. I made a to-do list on a sheet of paper (yes, I know that’s ridiculous given the context. I have mild ADD and a physical list helps keep me focused) and at the top I wrote the name of Opperyke’s hometown. Maybe I could find his address or family.

Next I opened the copy of Opperyke’s last video to see if he’d mentioned anything that could lead me. I’m not ashamed to admit revisiting the video filled me with dread. The last time I watched it, I had disturbing nightmares that turned out to have real world implications.

And that was before I knew I was watching and listening to a dead man speak.

I played the video but something was wrong. The image distorted, breaking Opperyke’s face into dozens of different colored lines on the screen. The audio was completely shot as well, just sounds and tones. I was about to click away when I heard a more discernible voice. It was quiet, but it clearly wasn’t Opperyke’s. I rewound that part again and again at maximum volume, trying to make it out.

“...how did...where...you and...I...help me...me, please!...Jacob!”

It was a woman’s voice. With the distortion, I couldn’t be a hundred percent sure it was Moxxy… but come on. It was Moxxy. I think anyone would have known the same in my shoes.

I didn’t know how, but there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in my mind that Opperyke was responsible for Moxxy’s disappearance. What baffled me was the sheer scale of the act. As a rule, ghosts are mostly harmless. They can barely work up the energy needed to open a door. For one to kidnap Moxxy, even if it’d somehow been in her exact location when it happened, defied reason.

Of course, that led to a possibility I really didn’t want to consider: maybe Opperyke wasn’t a ghost at all.

It wasn’t difficult to track down Opperyke’s next of kin. There weren’t many people living in Marietta, Ohio with the surname Cranston and I tracked down the Facebook profile of Melinda Cranston, Opperyke’s mother, within minutes. She didn’t post much; most of what I saw on her timeline were memorial posts for her deceased son and husband (how horrible for her to lose her son and husband in so short a time) and the occasional shared pie recipe. She wasn’t very cautious with her personal information. Her “about me” section contained her address and phone number, among other things.

I called her number and she answered on the first ring, which wasn’t nearly enough time for me to overcome my social anxiety.

“Hello?” Her voice was raspy and I hazarded a guess that she was at least a two pack a day smoker. That, or she had laryngitis.

“Hello, Ms. Cranston. My name is Jacob Mielke, I’m an author and I’m researching your son for an article I’m writing. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind answering a few questions?”

There was silence on the other end of the line and I almost thought the call dropped before Ms. Cranston angrily retorted: “My son’s tragedy is not some piece of gossip for you vultures to jump on. He isn’t a gimmick, or an urban legend, or a true crime story. He was a person. Can’t his memory get any goddamn respect?”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Cranston, I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

“This is the real world. What you mean doesn’t actually mean shit.”

“Please, this is important. Someone’s life is at stake and I think your son may be involved.”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Please, I want to know your son’s secret!” I don’t know why I blurted that out. It was an even more inappropriate thing to say to a grieving mother than the rest of the conversation (which was poorly handled, in hindsight). But it worked. Ms. Cranston was silent for several moments and when she spoke again, the anger was gone from her voice.

“Why did you say that?”

Things started to piece together in my head. “I think you know why. You’ve heard your son say it before, haven’t you?”

“That thing is not my son!”

“I know. I think it took my friend. I need to know more about it. Maybe if I figure out what it is, I can stop it. Maybe I can get her back.”

“I’ll tell you everything I know. Do you know where I live? You have to come here. There’s things you need to see.”

She refused to give further information than that over the phone, so there was no choice. I bought a Greyhound bus ticket (which wiped out my savings due to the short notice) for the next day. I called off work and told everyone I was going on a fishing trip. It was a tense journey and the longest part of it, Chicago, IL to Cleveland, Ohio, was spent in the company of a young man who didn’t believe in showering more than twice a month and had spent the entire previous night at a rave (and if I had to wager a guess, I’d say they raved in a sauna).

I had to hike part of the way to the Cranston house once I’d exhausted every possible public transportation option. When I got there, I found the door had been marked off with police tape. I spotted a man walking his dog on the road and asked what happened.

“Melinda Cranston had a heart attack. She called 911 and when the ambulance got there she was already dead. Damn shame, she was a great lady.”

Ms. Cranston was getting on in her years. It wasn’t unusual for a woman her age to suffer a cardiac arrest. As for the timing, well… coincidence? You know, that circumstance that I was sure didn’t actually exist?

Someone knocked on my motel room door later that night. There was no one there when I answered but a book was left in the hallway. It was bound in purple faux-leather and the first page identified it as Melinda Cranston’s diary. Someone had scrawled on the page: DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MY SECRET?

Some of the pages were marked with post-it notes. I turned to the first one.

Dec. 20th, 2012 One day until the end of the world apparently! I’m so glad Scott doesn’t believe that nonsense. He still insists something major is going to happen but at least he’s not throwing away his savings or anything foolish like that. Misty from down the street said…

I skimmed through the rest of the entry, which read like a love letter to a neighbor from a closet lesbian. Interesting, but not what I needed. I turned to the next posted page.

Dec. 21st, 2012 The world didn’t end! What a surprise! Not a thing happened… though Scott doesn’t seem to think so. He says that on days like this one, different worlds are closer together and sometimes things can come through. Like Halloween, I guess? I don’t know. He’s watching too many weird movies or something.

Feb. 3rd, 2013 I thought Scott let his little fantasies go. He didn’t talk about them at all last month but today he said he found a place where something came through. Apparently he was in Noonan Park walking the trails earlier and he found some creepy stone house or something. I swear, I don’t know how his mind works anymore.

There was something in my room with me. Call it my sixth sense or whatever, but I could tell I wasn’t alone. It came with the diary, I was sure of it.

March 13th, 2013 I’m so worried about Scott. He doesn’t talk, he barely eats. He just stays in his room all day. Lately he’s been talking about doing all the things he always wanted to do, like skydiving or starting that video channel of his. Should I talk to a doctor about this? I’m so scared my baby’s going to take his own life. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened.

May 20th, 2013 There was someone in Scott’s room last night. I woke up and needed to pee and while I was walking down the hall I heard him crying. Someone was talking to him. They asked if he wanted to know a secret.

That was the last entry in the diary. It was enough to piece together a rough estimation of what happened. Scott had a fixation with finding entities from other dimensions and believed something would happen on Dec. 21st, 2012 that would allow those entities passage to our dimension. He also believed he tracked down a location where one of those entities crossed over, a house in a park. Smart money was on him being correct in his theory, only the entity he found followed him back. From the sound of it, it was malevolent enough and strong enough to kill him and perhaps others (like Ms. Cranston).

There were still things I didn’t understand, like why did the entity carry on Scott’s dream of having a Youtube channel? And why was it leading me to the house in the park (it was clear to me by now this was the case)? If it wanted to kill me or teach me it’s “secret”, why the convoluted plan? It was strong enough to kill a human being and abduct another (I refused to believe she dead. Her absence didn’t make sense unless she was alive). Couldn’t it just come to me?

I looked up directions to Noonan Park. It was about ten miles from the motel, easily reachable on foot. I’d follow the trails and find the house. Whatever came next, I’d deal with it and hopefully at the end of the tunnel, I’d find Moxxy. Alive and safe.

The story of Mielke Investigation’s second case will conclude in Part 3. Read about our first case here . If you’d like updates on when the next posts are up, follow my author page here .