#so what im saying is i want him to try a Gone (by Michael Grant)-like book. i think he'd do a good job | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starbuckie · 4 years

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𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

challenge: winter warmers writing challenge by @spaceodditybarnes

prompt: “it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas” by michael buble

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 2k without lyrics, 2.1k with lyrics

warnings: i genuinely don’t think i can say anything besides FLUFF, oh wait theres some mentions of the shmexy sex (i promise im a functioning person)

summary: in which they take a little holiday stroll and talk about what they are.

a/n: THIS MADE ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU FOR HOSTING THIS CHALLENGE JADE!!! i kinda veered off the idea of christmas with this one, but my mind created another idea and i kinda just went with the flow. anyways, i really enjoyed writing this one, and i hope you all had a lovely holiday season <3 LOTS OF LOVE Y’ALL

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go

Take a look at the five and ten, it’s glistening once again

With candy cane and silver lanes that glow

Snow sprinkled to the buildings and sidewalks of Midtown Manhattan, making the traffic clog up to the oh so lovely sounds of taxis and cars honking. It was far from what people pictured it, really, New York was absolute hell during the holiday season. Sloshing boots and teens smoking pot outside the scantily decorated discount store that held very little, sad-looking Christmas lights.

It didn’t bother Bucky. No, he had never been a big fan of the holiday season. Even back in the forties, with his ma and little sisters, they had never been huge on celebrating Christmas, instead choosing to work those shifts during the holiday so they could make a buck or two more to hold them over. Now in the twenty-first century, the holiday just reminded him how truly lonely he was, everyone and everything he used to know long gone.

But then he found Y/N. Granted, it had not been a formal introduction. The poor girl had nearly damn run him over with her motorcycle for Christ’s sake, but nonetheless she crawled into his heart that cold December morning two years ago, and had not left ever since.

Now she walked by his side at Rockefeller Center, her cold fingers intertwined with his warm ones, admiring the tree while he admired her. He already had every part of her memorized, from late night escapades in the sheets to studying the slope of her nose at team breakfasts. Even when he wasn’t with her, he was always looking at her, unable to pull his eyes away from Y/N’s radiance.

This little… dalliance of theirs had only started a year back, and they had still yet to put a label on it. Sam had called it friends with benefits, Sharon called it being a couple without the name. Bucky had shut both of those ideas down, claiming that they were taking it slow and weren’t looking to call it anything yet they still had not really talked about it. Was it really worth ruining the bond he had with the girl he fell madly in love with? Whatever it was, they had never taken time out of their day to actually discuss what they meant to each other, but, God, he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t want to know.

“Bucky?” Her sweet voice brought him out of his thoughts, the glittering red and white lights of the Christmas tree reflecting in her eyes. “You seem kind of distracted right now, sweetheart, are you bored? We can head back to the compound if you like.”

He smiled at her worried tone, delicately kissing the tip of her nose. “‘M just thinking, doll, wanna stay as long as I can out here with you.”

The grin he received in return was breathtaking, her red-painted lips turned upwards and a little twinkle (literally and metaphorically) in her eyes. “Good.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Oh, look at that helicopter, Buck! That’s so cool!” Y/N pointed at a little boy in the store controlling the airborne toy with a small remote. “They didn't have those when I was a kid, I just had my Tamagotchi.”

He scrunched his nose, staring at her with an emotion that could be described as nothing other than distaste. “What the hell is a Tamagotchi?”

“A Tamagotchi was like this little digital pet thing that you could take care of, mainly used for kids who were trying to prove to their parents that they could take care of a real pet. That’s why I had one at least, but I never did get a tabby cat like I wanted.” Y/N continued to ramble about her weird pet thing as they walked through the toy store, though Bucky didn’t really care. But he’d never stop her either. The way her eyes lit up in childlike wonder and her fascination with the toys on the shelves was too precious to destroy. This was the girl who he had seen slit throats and blow aliens’ brains out, and in the moment she was ogling an American Girl Doll like it was the last pancake at the breakfast table.

Y/N finally convinced herself that she was done looking at the toys, claiming that she was too mature for such things (she really wasn’t), but he let her lead him out the door, before she halted right in the doorway. “What is it, honey?”

“Mistletoe.” He glanced up at the little sprig of green and red berries above their heads, hanging by a small strand of twine. A small group of kids with families stood around, watching them with both happy and annoyed faces. How could they not notice Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes? Bucky’s vibranium arm may have been recognizable, but Y/N’s cheery, a little-louder-than-normal humming had caused a little group to watch them throughout the store. “I think they’re waiting for us to kiss, Buck.”

She leaned into him, placing her lips on his and placing her freezing hands on his cheekbones. Though Bucky had never been big on PDA, the rest of the world seemed to slip away when he was with her. He grinned into her lips, hugging her tightly around the waist so she squealed. When he forced herself away from her intoxicating mouth, she was sporting a bright smile and smudged lipstick that had rubbed off onto his.

Giggling, she took her thumb and swiped off some of the red residue she had left. “You had a little something there, sweetheart.”

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Dolls that’ll talk and will go for a walk

Is the hope of Janice and Jen

Bucky watched Y/N point out all the different street cart vendors as they walked to Radio City Music Hall. She’d insisted that they go look at the window displays there as well, and who was he to argue? Strangely enough, they hadn’t talked much, other than the occasional “are you cold” from Bucky, to which Y/N assured him she was not. Her quiet voice sang the lyrics to Last Christmas when a little girl stopped in front of them, two auburn braids and green eyes boring straight into hers.

The small child pulled on Y/N’s skirt, a silent plea to go down to her height. “Hi there, are you lost, sweetie?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” she looked back to an older woman, who gave her a thumbs up and a smile, “because you are my favorite superhero and I hope you have a very good Christmas.”

Y/N nearly melted at the toothless smile the girl, who she assumed was named Sadie by the necklace she wore. “Thank you so much, sweetheart. I hope you have a good Christmas too, and do you know this guy?” She dragged Bucky down next to her, the large, buff man hulking over the small girl. “This is my friend Bucky, do you know him?”

He eyed her warily, as if he were absolutely terrified of the tiny human. “You’re the Winter Soldier!”

Uh oh. The name was one that struck a chord of fear through everyone, still in shock of the events that had taken place in D.C. in 2014. While he and Sam had tried to label a new brand for the Avengers, people didn’t forget all the horrors of HYDRA and their prized assassin. Of course it hadn’t been him, even he knew that, but trying to convince people otherwise still made him feel guilty.

“You’re my second favorite Avenger, after Y/N, of course.” Sadie brought her hand to hover over Bucky’s vibranium one, her eyes wide with excitement. “Mr. Bucky, can I touch your metal arm?”

The man in question could barely utter out a word, muttering some sort of agreement before nodding with a timid smile. Giddily, she touched his arm, feeling all the cool ridges of gold-plated vibranium against the gun-grey metal. Sadie continued to pelt questions at him, about Sam and Redwing to his “adventures” with Y/N on the team.

Bucky, though shy at first, got more and more relaxed as they continued their conversation, his grin growing wider. Y/N loved her fans, she loved them so, so dearly, but seeing them interact with the man she loved was something different. Not a bad different, but a word that could only be described as pure joy.

“Darling, I think we better leave Ms. L/N and Mr. Barnes alone. Say thank you and happy holidays.” The little girl looked sad, turning to look at her mom with a little pout, but she reluctantly obliged and soon the duo were off, into the crowded streets once again.

“Y’know once upon a time I had dreamed about having kids,” Bucky commented. They walked along the sidewalks in a comfortable quiet after the encounter with Sadie, but Bucky’s mind had not stopped reeling from the happiness his conversation brought him. “Was gonna come home from the war, settle down with a gal, and live to be at least seventy years old.”

“Well, I can tell you you’re good on the last bit of that, Buck.” He snorted at her jab at his age, something that has become a norm for their little makeshift family of four. “What do you want now?”

He stopped in his tracks and looked over at her with a fond tilt of his lips. “Oh, just something real special.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Y/N, what are we?” She glanced over at him from where they sat on the Met stairs, giving their feet a break from walking for hours.

“What do you mean, Buck?”

He grabbed her hands and held them to his chest, trying to make her understand the amount of confusion and impatience he had with this one burdening question. “We’ve been sleeping together for a year, Y/N. We make each other breakfast, we go out together, I literally have half of my closet dedicated to your stuff, but even after all that we haven’t given us a name yet.”

Y/N sat in stunned silence, staring at the outburst from the man in front of her. To be completely honest she had never really thought about the question, choosing to enjoy each second she got to spend with the wonderful man with her. What she had noticed however, was how whenever they parted ways or were in the most intimate of moments, three little words nearly slipped off of her tongue. Every. Single. Time.

“Well, what do you want to be, Bucky?”

“I want to be the man you love. I want to be the man who loves you with his entire heart, though I like to think I already am. I want you to be my best gal more than anything in the world, and that I want to be the man who gets to hold and love you every night.” Slowly they drifted to each other, a magnetic pull bringing them to each other. “What do you think, doll?”

“I think,” her lips split into a grin, hovering over his own with the exact same expression, “that I want to be your best girl and the one who gets to make you pancakes in the morning and I want to be the one you get a cat with, who we’ll name Alpine because if I know you, names are the most important part of having a pet. I want to be held and loved by you every night, Bucky Barnes, and I am the girl who loves you more than anything in this entire damn world.”

Not another second to spare, Bucky pulled Y/N in close, letting himself get lost in one of her sweet, loving kisses, finally knowing that he was hers and she was his. At long last.

Sure, it’s Christmas once more

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thegreatimpersonator · 3 years

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ok, I'm back with more recs 13. favourite romance novel: red, white and royal blue by Casey McQuiston. It's about a british prince and the son of the American president falling in love, it's funny and romantic and an overall feel good book. (I just realized that this could also work as 78. the favourite royal read)

40. a book with a black cover: Gone by Michael Grant. I know that this book has a lot of different covers, but the German version I own has black covers. It's a series of six books, and it's about a small city where everyone over 15 disappears one day and some children develop special abilities like telekinesis or super speed. They than have to organize their lives and also of course fight against evil powers and each other. I have no idea for which age this was written (i guess it's young adult?), but I read it when I was like 12-14, and always thought that it was quite violent and bloody, that didn't shy away from killing main characters.

50. a book that made me cry a lot: Im Frühling sterben (engl. to die in spring) by Ralf Rothmann. I looked it up and I think they translated it, but I read it in German, so I can't say anything about the English version. It's a book about to German boys, aged 17, who are drafted into the army in 1945, shortly before the Second World War was over. I usually don't cry while reading, but this one really messed me up, I spent at least 15 minutes crying over the last chapters.

63. a book that actually made me laugh out loud: trouble makes a comeback by Stephanie Tromley (it's actually the second book in the trilogy, the first one is called trouble is a friend of mine). It's a book about Zoe who is new in a small town where she meets Digby, the weird guy. They become friends and try to solve the disappearance of a missing girl. But it's not a thriller, it's pretty funny and very fast paced. It also counts as friends to lovers, but kinda slow burn.

66. a book that fucked me up: The Wicker King by Kayla Ancrum. Two best friends who have a very unhealthy, codependent relationship and would do anything for each other. One of them starts to see another world (like persons who want to communicate with him) and they try to figure out what all of this means. I really loved this book (even though I think the writing style is somewhat different than other books), their relationship was so intriguing and I couldn't wait to see what they'd do next.

72. a book with a gorgeous cover: Ziggy, Stardust and me by James Brandon. When I saw this book I knew I had to buy it, I just loved the cover so much, even though I wasn't sure about the story at first. It's about a gay boy in 1973 (i think) who wants to finish his therapy to "cure" him. He then meets Web, a Native American, who changes how he views himself and with whom he falls in love. It's a coming of age story about self acceptance and it's so so sad. This story broke my heart, but also put it back together, it's just so good and I love it so much. I think this may be one of my all time favourites.

that's all for now! I really enjoy the book talk and reading all the recommendations from other blogs... i'll also update my tbr list

And yeah, soc is such a good book, soc and ck are the best books in the grishaverse, no doubt.

Yesss I'm adding a couple of these to my list I love it here today!!! Completely agreed about soc and ck being the best, let's see if king of scars surpasses that for me! It's so cool that you can actually see the author's growth from shadow and bone to crooked kingdom we love to see it!

#you ask for the tab*#the last page*#long post tw

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freeshavacado · 4 years

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My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

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cleocazo · 7 years

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B A D B I C H E S R E A D - TALK QUESTIONS!

✗ WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE YA NOVEL AND WHY?

twilight by stephanie meyer because i love trashy vampire romance novels. kidding! but also not kidding, because one of my favorite series’ is the house of night one, by pc and kristen cast, and it's also abt vampires but one attending a school and i loVE it. but no. overall, my fave YA book,, is gone, by michael grant, bc it kicks off the whole series and i would do absolutely anything for any of the characters he created. i even met him at his dublin book signing and it was!! the happiest day of my life!!

✗ DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? / IS THERE ANY KIND OF BOOK YOU WILL NOT READ?

tbh im pretty chill w most subjects, and i don't really know of smth is gonna actually bother me until im confronted w it, so.. right now, no, but that doesn't mean i won't hit a chapter in a book and decide to nope out!

✗ WHAT IS A YA NOVEL YOU HAVE CRIED AT?

most of them? ha...ha.. nah ok so i can remember gross hysterical crying after a chapter in dreams of gods and monsters ( the third in the daughter of smoke and bone trilogy ) bc it was just so.. horrible. and i cried during a chapter at the end of hunger ( book 2 in the gone series ) bc that was emotional for me.. and u know what? i was definitely that btch who cried at the end of the fault in our stars. i cry a lot! its a thing!

✗ NAME A YA CHARACTER YOU RELATE TO THE MOST, AND EXPLAIN WHY!

stevie rae from house of night or zuzana from daughter of smoke and bone. i told myself i'd try n mention more than the same few series' in this but.. a bitch can't help it ok! i highly relate to both bc i, too, started out as a homegrown nobody naive dumb btch like stevie rae.. and then i Grew as a person n though im still very stevie i like to imagine myself as zuzana.

✗ WHY DO YOU WANT TO JOIN BBBC?

well i love g and everything she does, so.........kidding mostly ive actually always wanted to be in a book club, but the stars never aligned in quite the right way! i love the idea of reading books that mightn’t necessarily be ones that were on my radar before, and finding new faves in places i don’t expect, and i also love hearing ppls thoughts on books we’ve both read so ?? it seemed like the right thing to do!

✗ AT WHAT PACE DO YOU READ? / DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW LONG A BOOK SHOULD BE CIRCUITED IN THE GROUP FOR?

zayn_mumbles.gif. im.. slower nowadays, than i used to be. like u could’ve given me any book a few yrs ago and i would’ve read it in the day, but now it takes me a while longer, just bc of life and stuff. assuming everything is chill in life... i could prob read a book every week/fortnight? esp if i set aside time each day to do so, which im planning on!

✗ NAME SOME BOOKS YOU’D LOVE TO SEE US ALL READ TOGETHER!

oh.. man..... im so weird abt suggestions i feel like mine aren’t gonna end up being as good as everyone elses flkghflhg piggy backing off of g saying runaways and going w smth marvel.. there’s a black & red widow based ya book called forever red that i started ages ago, n which i kinda,, loved?? and i always suggest the gone, daughter of smoke and bone & house of night series’, bc i Love them. idk !! im a go w the flow kinda girl so !!

✗ WOULD YOU BE MORE LIKELY TO POST IN GOODREADS, TUMBLR, BOTH, NEITHER? (AND IF YOU WOULD POST, WOULD YOU DO A REVIEW? AN EDIT? TALK TO MEMBERS? THERES NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER!)

probably tumblr, bc i've never used goodreads before, and i'd probably do edits if that's chill bc i cant write a review to save my LIFE. i can't edit for shit either but ,, i know where i have less of a chance in fcking up ok.

#badbichesread

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vortexboss-blog · 7 years

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Who did this to ya?

Pairing/Finn Balor X Reader

Summary//It was no secret to the WWE locker room that you and Finn Balor were extremely close to each other. You both had developed feelings for one another over time, but kept it a secret from each other. Finn was in a match one day when you were attacked by someone, resulting in injury. Once Finn finds out he makes it his job to find out who hurt you. His behavior is so different that it makes you question him on why he’s being so overprotective, and that leads to you both admitting what you truly felt for one another.

Warnings/Fluff

This is my first imagine on here, so it’s going to be horrible

Thanks to @caguayo85 for the very first imagine request.

________________________________________________________

You stood with your arms crossed over your chest while you watched Finn make his entrance. You caught yourself cracking a smile as the camera men captured every inch of Finn, dressed in his tight ring gear along with that leather jacket of his.

Finn’s entrance was always so fun to watch and see how involved the crowd was with him. Although, you found yourself focusing more on Finn than anything else that appeared on screen.

You couldn’t quite remember the precise day and time, but you do recall developing a crush on the proclaimed ‘Demon King’ not to long ago. It was only a matter of time before those feelings finally made themselves present, whether it was an uncontrollable smile, or a feeling of absolute giddiness, you always found yourself wooing over Finn even when he wasn’t around.

You and Finn had developed a strong friendship since the day you both met, and you were pretty certain that it was going to stay that way, and that’s the way Finn would of wanted it as well. You did a pretty good job of concealing your feelings, especially when around him and the other talent backstage.

You know how the story goes.People find out about who your interested in, and boom, next thing you know that person, Finn in this case, finds out, and well the rest is pretty obvious to see.

Over the seemingly loud voice of Michael Cole’s commentary, you were able to hear what sounded like someone rushing towards you from behind. At first you figured it was just someone who was in a hurry to get somewhere, so you kept your attention on the TV.

The scuffing of shoes against the ground became more apparent which made your eyes shoot away from the small monitor, you couldn’t even turn your head to gaze over your shoulder as your body was shoved roughly onto the table where the monitor had now toppled over the opposite side of the wooden surface

You were being attacked by someone.

You attempted to turn your head again in the direction behind you, resulting in a hand clutching the back of your head and slamming it down onto the wooden table, nose first. Pain shot through your head, and nose as you quickly moved one of your hands to your face to make sure you didn’t shed any blood

The blow to your head had made you momentarily dizzy, but you were still able to feel the person viciously yanking you off the table.

You were able to hear them emit an audible grunt as they pulled your small body off the table, but you couldn’t quite identify who the grunt belonged to.

They held onto the back of your neck with a tight grip, while their other hand held onto the tights you were wearing from your match earlier this evening. It was like one of those holds you use on opponents outside of the ring when you’re trying to toss them back into the ring.

This time they tossed you against a large metal cabinet.

Your spine had contacted with the metal handles of the cabinet which resulted in a sharp pain shooting up your back. You slid your back down against the cold metal until your bum touched the floor, and you were in a seated position.

While seated, you hung your head down so you were looking at the floor, your hair had fallen in front of your face, so you still had an unblemished view of who had ambushed you.

As you were moving your head back to its normal straight forward position to catch a glimpse at who stood in front of you, a big plastic bin that was placed on top of the metal cabinet fell onto your already battered head.

The impact from you hitting the cabinet must of been enough to make that bin fall, which was quite surprising since the bin felt super heavy on impact.

A loud groan of pain escaped your lips, your head was violently throbbing in pain, for a second you actually forgot where you were.

When you could finally muster up the strength, you slowly tilted your head up so you were in view of your surroundings all while keeping a hand on the top of your head, where you knew for sure a bump would sprout soon.

No one was around, it was completely empty like before. There was no sign of who attacked you.

You weren’t entirely sure as to why no one was around, you would think there would be a camera man, guards, interview’s and other backstage personal floating around in every nook and craney, but there was no one to be found.

The throbbing in your head only became worse with every second that surpassed. Even when the throbbing began to cease, the pugnacious pain lingered only to make you more uncomfortable.

Your vision started to grow extremely blurry. Even though you tried to recuperate your normal vision, it just kept getting worse and worse.

Even through the culmination of blurriness, you could see what looked like two silhouette’s rushing over towards you. Your vision provided no clarification as to who they were or what they were doing.

Next thing you know you completely black out.

As you slowly started to come back from your black out, you could hear two male voices from a close vicinity. For the moment what you were hearing just sounded like gibberish, but as your body began to wake up more and more you could clearly tell whoever was with you wasn’t verbalizing some unknown language. Your eyes slowly began to open due to the sensitivity of the bright lights that hung in the ceiling. You didn’t want to strain your eyes, so you waited for them naturally adjust.

“Ah, she’s awake.”

A groggy groan pushes past your lips. You bring your hands up balling them up slightly to rub your sensitive eyes.

“Wha-what happened…” you wobbly ask the medics as both slowly help you to a seated position on the medical bed.

You blacked out and hit your head on the floor.” One medic confirms.

Your mouth gapped open, you hit your head for the third time today. That last one must of done you In for good.

“Miss Y/N, you have suffered a concussion somehow, which is oddly strange because you only hit your head once.” The doctor confusedly assumes.

You understood why the medics sounded so confused, they weren’t there to witness the other two times you took some blows to the head.

“Well actually…” You trail off causing both medics to shoot you a look of concern.

You do your best to explain what happened, and how your head was hit from being slammed on the table, and the bin of whatever fell onto your head as well.

“Well that explains why you have a concussion then,” The medic says in realization.

“How long am I going to be on the shelf?” You ask concern producing in your voice as you spoke.

“We’re looking at about roughly a month.” The medic who sat closest to you confirms. “Month and a half, maximum,” the other medic adds.

You let out a sigh of relief, thank god it wasn’t more than that. You probably would of gone crazy if you were out for more than a month and a half. This is your first time getting injured since being apart of WWE, so it was going to take awhile for this to click in your mind.

“Hey, is that guy still outside?” One of the medics asks the other.

“Im not sure, maybe.” The other one responds.

“What guy?” You ask, your curiosity peaking out of its shell.

The medics share a look before they both look back to you.

“A wrestler,” the medic furthest away from you says as he goes through some files, “He practically busted in the door about 10 minutes after we brought you in, and he was freaking out, asking if you would be ok, and what happened, but we didn’t say anything we kinda had to chase him out.”

“What did he look like?” You ask even though you were pretty sure you knew exactly who it was.

“Hmmm..he had a very nice physique, blue eyes, he was about 5 foot 10, oh and he’s an Irish fella.”

“Finn…” you mumble to yourself.

Of course Finn was going to be the one to go batshit crazy if he found out you were hurt. He had to be worried sick right now, and for him to have heard about this right after his match probably just added to his mental and physical exhaustion.

“Can I please go?” You ask, knowing you need to let Finn see that your ok and everything is going to be fine.

“Yeah go ahead just take it easy, and no more hitting your head, we’ll do a follow up later.” The medics jokingly says granting you permission to leave.

You nod and plant your feet on the ground making sure to steady yourself since you were still experiencing some light dizziness. You slowly walked over to the door grabbing onto the metal handle. You turn to the two men, “Thanks guy’s,” you wave to them.

“You welcome,” both say in unison.

You twist the handle and push door open, and move out into the narrow hallway. You quietly ease the door in your direction making sure it didn’t slam to hard when it closed. Once the door quietly shut, the sound of someone’s feet against the floor could be heard behind you. This time you turned around ready to fight whoever it was.

You were expecting that person who attacked you to come back again but turns out it was just a sweaty Finn who pulled you into his embrace. Despite how sweaty he was and how horrible he smelt, you couldn’t help but hug him back. Finn held you tight, as if someone were going to swoop down outta nowhere and take you away from him.

Finn reluctantly pulled away from the embrace allowing you get a full view of his body. If anything you should be the one worried about him right now. His milky white skin was covered in red marks, scratches, and welts from his match. His condition was just as worse as yours. At least that’s your own opinion.

You noticed Finn frown as he focused on something that was on your face. Finn’s hand went to gently graze a bump that formed on your hairline from one of three times you hit your head. It didn’t hurt bad, but once Finn’s fingers came into contact with it, you winced softly which made him draw his hand back to his side.

“Finn I-”

“Who did this to ya?” He cuts you off with his question.

Finn’s voice was low, his accent sounded thick, you knew he was pissed, you couldn’t just hear it in his voice, but just by looking into his eyes you could see he wasn’t very happy with the situation at hand.

“Who, Y/N?!” He asks a little louder this time startling you.

“I-I don’t know, Finn…” You answer back right as the last word left his mouth.

“How can ya not know Y/N!?” He scolds you causing you to step back a bit, “Ya were da one getting attacked and ya didn’t see who did it?!”

You rapidly shake your head no not wanting to speak. Finn just looks at you, his chest rising and dropping rapidly with every breath he took, his fists were balled up and his knuckles were a different shade of white compared to his already pale skin tone.

“If ya don’t know who did it then I guess I’m gonna have ta find out myself.”

Finn walked away in whatever direction with the intentions of finding whoever hurt you. You respected him for caring and all, but he was taking it to a whole other level. Plus you didn’t need him to fight your battles for you. You are perfectly capable of handling the situation correctly.

You darted after him in the direction he walked in catching up to him shortly after.

Once you caught up with him, you stepped your body out in front of his, but he didn’t stop, he simply just moved around you and kept going. You caught up with him again except his time you placed your hands on his hard chest trying to bring him to a halt to no avail. If Finn really wanted to, he could walk straight through you with no struggle, but you knew he wouldn’t hurt you intentionally.

“Finn it’s not that big a deal.” You try to convince him. In response he gave you the “are you serious” type of look.

Finn stalled out finally causing you to stumble backwards a bit.

“Not tha big a deal?!” He practically shouts. “Ya have a concussion, and yer gonna be out for a month an’ a half.” He says exaggerating the whole sentence making it seem like it was the end of the world.

“Wait, wait, wait.” You stop him sticking your finger up. “How do you know I have a concussion. I didn’t even mention anything about it yet?

“I may of have been listening while ya were with tha medics.“ He nonchalantly admits crossing his arms over his chest. You weren’t upset that he was listening, you were just confused as to how he knew your status.

“Finn what the hell are you going to do when you find out who did this to me.” You ask referring to the bump on your head.

“Not like you can go demon king on them.” You joke.

"If i have ta I will. I don’t care who they are what they did was a horrible act of violence tha was absolutely unnecessary.”

Before you could argue back Finn had turned his back on you and began walking in the direction you were coming from before. This time he walked much quicker.

You repeated your actions from before and place your hands on his chest again trying to stall him again. Only this time it was way harder since his pace was much quicker.

“Why do you care so much about what happened?” You question still trying to fight back against Finn. You had even tried planting your feet while pushing against his chest for leverage, but due to Finn’s strength he ended up pushing you instead.

Finn’s silence frustrated you, and you knew having a sour attitude wouldn’t make it any better.

“Why do you care so much about me?!” You question but shout at the same time.

This time you cocked your arms back ready to shove Finn due to your own frustration, but before you could Finn caught your wrists in his grasp preventing you from shoving him.

In one swift motion, Finn yanked you into his embrace. His arms wrapped around your waist while your hands laid on his chest.

“Finn wha-”

You were cut off by Finn’s lips crashing down against yours. At first you thought that you were dreaming, were you still unconscious in the medics room, and this was just some amazing dream you’d wake up from any second. It wasn’t until Finn’s hands gently squeezed your waist for you to realize that this wasn’t a dream, and you were wide awake and this was actually happening.

Finn disconnected your lips, but still held you against his body by your waist.

“Wanna ask why I care so much about ya again?” He asks with a small grin.

"Finn I-I’m so confused..” you trial off, you were absolutely bewildered by his actions. When it came to Finn, you always thought you were trapped in the friend zone with him.

“Y/N, I never made it obvious, but I have liked ya’ for da’ longest time, ever since we had gotten so close dats when I knew tha I felt more for ya than just being friends.”

Once again you were bewildered. You always thought that you and Finn would remain nothing more than friends, it never crossed your mind that Finn could have the same feelings back. That was something you’d only catch yourself imagining in a perfect world.

Finn noticed the time you were taking to respond, so he let you go and moved away to give you some space.

"If ya don’t feel tha same then it’s ok.” He nervously says scratching the back of his neck. His bicep flexing in the process. Your heart melted as he spoke, his nervousness was one of the many adorable things you noticed about him. He would go from this badass man, to a nervous and shy man which was a quality that you had noticed with him for quite some time.

“Finn of course I feel the same.” You clarify stopping him in his tracks. His eyes widen and the most surprised look fills his face.

You do?” He asks. His overly excited tone fueling your happiness.

“Yes Finn, everything you said was exactly the way I felt for so long. I hid my feelings from you and everyone else. Every moment we spent together was amazing and I just found my feelings growing even more every time I saw you. I guess I was just always scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way back…” you say trailing off in your sentence.

You let your head hang low feeling a bit feeling ashamed your eyes were looking at the valley that divided both of his muscular pecs.

“That’s not possible…” He says while taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb. “Because I love you, so much Y/N.”

"Will ya do me the biggest honor in the world and accept to go out on a date wit me?” He asks taking your tiny hands in his huge ones.

At this point you were practically spewing with happiness, Finn Balor. The most attractive man on the WWE Roster, at least in your opinion, had asked you on a date

"Yes, Yes Finn.” You say with a ginormous smile forming across your face.

Finn smiles as well and his hands gently trail down to your waist pulling you back into his embrace. You stared into his bright blue orbs as he cupped your face with one hand pulling you in for one more kiss. This time you kissed back, you hooked your arms under his arms bringing your hands to his shoulders.

Finn’s touch sent waves of electricity through your body, you felt as if your whole body went numb. Even the pain in your head was going numb.

Finn pulled away looking you right in your eyes.

Now lets go figure out who did this ta ya.” He smirks devilishly.

#finn balor #finn balor x reader #wwe x reader #wwe #balor club #fergal devitt #prince devitt #monday night raw #demon balor

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equivvitch · 7 years

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Fassathon: A Summary (Part I)

So, this summer, in the year of Our Lord 2017, I decided to do something stupid and unnecessary, as I do, by watching every single theatrically-released movie Michael Fassbender has been in thus far. Every single one. I dubbed it the Fassathon and didn’t rest until I was finished. (I know a lot of his early career was in television and in television movies (trust me I know the only thing I have to type in my search bar is “im” and his IMDb page pops up automatically) and given more time I’ll probably watch some of those but for the sake of not having to watch like seven more movies I granted myself that leniency.)

All in all, I’d say it took about two months. In total I believe I watched 24 movies, having already watched five beforehand (the new X-Men trilogy, Shame, and Jane Eyre) for a grand total of 29 damn movies (full disclosure, one was a bonus which you’ll see eventually but whatever). Some of them were actually ones I needed/wanted to watch but a lot were….not.

In any case, for the sake of posterity and making myself feel better about being a dumbass, I decided to write up some kind of summary piece about it, so that’s what this is. It got fuckign long so it’s gonna be divided into three parts: two just reviewing the movies and one with some summary thoughts.

This is part one, but first, it wouldn’t be a post by me without eighty disclaimers so let’s get that out of the way first:

This is all subjective obviously. Keep in mind I had to watch all of these so a lot of times I tended to compare them more to themselves than films as a whole. I tried to see the big picture after the fact but when you have 28 films to watch you tend to get hyper-focused on the task at hand. Also I’m not a film critic. I’m just an asshole and a dumbass, a dumb asshole if you will. I am interested in film theory but that means about jack since I have no formal education in it.

It should also be noted that a) Fassbender’s performances in these movies were almost uniformly excellent. The man can carry a movie on his goddamn back and often does if required to do so. This was noted consistently to the point of it being funny in the reviews of each movie. b) A lot of these are British movies. They’re not Hollywood. Just…..pointing it out. And c) I’m 1000% attached to some of these films/franchises outside of this “challenge.” X-Men in particular and also Jane Eyre I’m invested in deeply so that might affect my ideas.

That out of the way, without further ado, some reviews, thoughts, and recommendations:

X-Men: First Class (Erik Lehnsherr)

Rating: 8/10

Quick Summary: At the height of the Cold War, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet under unlikely circumstances and form an even more unlikely bond. They end up with a common goal in defeating a ghost of Erik’s past, Sebastian Shaw, who is determined to cause nuclear war between the U.S. and Soviet Union in hopes of destroying all humans and making way for mutant rule. The two set out and put together a team of mutants to help combat him, but push their relationship in the process to an unfortunate breaking point.

Some Thoughts: I have watched First Class so many times you have no idea. Understand, I once did a full rewatch of this movie for the sole purpose of fact-checking a post that was talking about how many times Charles says “Erik” throughout the movie. I sat there and tallied them by rewatching the entire thing. I love this movie to pieces, so I really have no ability to objective over it. Because of that I do know its flaws pretty well, trust me. It has issues (coughs about the ridiculous awful romantic subplots), but I really do think it’s a strong film and an interesting start to this quasi-reboot. Ultimately it’s a movie about the relationship between Erik and Charles, so that is its strongest point. There are some big shoes to fill, considering Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan had the roles first, but McAvoy and Fassbender do a great job with it. It was stated in interviews that McAvoy was cast first and then they made the guys going out for the role of Erik read with him to cast a chemistry instead of a person and it shows. It really is shot like a love story, especially when the B-plot is an explicit romance between Hank and Raven. In my opinion it’s a fun ride, watching everyone meet and use their powers, train together and learn together. The ending is not that happy and I always shake hands with movies that dare to do that, especially big films like this (see GotG 2). It can be silly and frustrating at times, but after Last Stand I feel like we could only go up. I know some people really don’t like this movie which? I guess I’d like to hear from someone who doesn’t to understand why. That being said, Armando deserved better. Fuck his nonsensical death.

Warnings: Montages? Also some violence. Not a ton but what’s there sticks in your head.

Recommend?: Yeah! If you like superhero movies this is a pretty solid one.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Erik, but this time in the 70s, and with less turtlenecks and more scarves)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: (This plot is so convoluted I’m going to have to be vague otherwise this could take years.) In an apocalyptic future these robots called Sentinels are murdering everyone, particularly mutants because at one point a guy named Dr. Trask got ahold of Mystique’s DNA and used it to make them indestructible. The always wonderful and patient Logan gets sent back to the past to try and stop this from happening. There he finds Charles in a terrible, drug-induced spiral having lost everything and has to attempt to get him out of it so he can help find Raven who’s gone rogue and wants to kill Trask for his experimentation on mutants. In the process they join up with Erik, courtesy of Peter/Quicksilver, which doesn’t go well, which no one could have ever seen coming. The whole thing comes to a head when Raven has to decide whether to become a murderer and risk an even darker future or let Trask walk free and go against what she believes in.

Some Thoughts: I remember so clearly sitting the theatre and seeing the first preview for this, turning to my family and joking about the really stupid title. Like “Days of Future Past? What kind of title is that?” It’s up there with Back to the Future in terms of dumb titles, but is somehow pretty much acknowledged as the best of the current three, alternate timeline movies?? In spite of its ridiculously convoluted plot, it’s a really solid film and has great character development for two of the big players, Charles and Raven. Wolverine acts as a familiar foundation and point of view for the story and grounds it as he often does. Charles has to learn to stop trying to control those around him and move on with his life despite past losses, and Raven has to make a pivotal choice for her character. The scene at the end where it’s flipping between the future and past and all the original cast and the new cast are fighting at the same time is really cool, and the character arcs are strong and satisfying. The only one who doesn’t change much is Erik, but arguably First Class was his platform for character development or, more accurately, regression. He doesn’t do anything that helpful (which is….true to form) but watching him lift an entire fucking baseball stadium, fly it through the air, and drop it on top of the White House is pretty rad. Also Quicksilver is incredible holy shit the way they do his scenes is iconic. Kind of confusing maybe, but it also retconned almost the entirety of the original timeline in a genius move to destroy Last Stand once and for all. It’s usually called the best for a reason.

Warnings: Wolverine gets stabbed by stuff and shot a lot but that’s par for the course

Recommend?: Yep! But you might want to have watched some of the other movies first. Watching it with no background would probably be….too much.

X-Men: Apocalypse (Still Erik/Polish(?) Lumberjack/Poster child for Man Pain™)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: An ancient mutant named Apocalypse (or En Sabah Nur if we’re going to be technical) awakens in the midst of the 80s (because there must be a 10 year gap between each movie it’s a rule). He used to rule but now he doesn’t and he’s mad so now he wants to destroy the world or some shit and rebuild it in his image. He does this by getting together his four horsemen (get it) including Erik who is inexplicably in Poland with yet another family that gets fridged. The X-Men find this out and get together to take him down.

Some Thoughts: I can (and have) ranted about this movie for literal hours. I have some serious personal gripes with it and it annoys me to the point where I’ve blown it out of proportion so keep that in mind. That rating might be a bit low but this movie is mediocre at best. I guess the core of it is because the X-Men conflict is a lot more interesting when they’re up against some government entity or society as a whole rather than just some random villain, at least to me. This movie also does not have a strong foundation like the first two did, no solid grounding point. In XMFC it was Erik and Charles’s relationship, in DoFP it was Wolverine being the POV character, but in this we really have nothing. The stuff with the kids is probably the most interesting and I hope they do more of that in the upcoming sequel. It has a few good moments (Quicksilver’s scene and Erik dramatically throwing down giant steel beams in the shape of an “X” in front of Apocalypse as he switches sides to save Charles and co stick out in my mind) but it tends to drag otherwise. There are about twenty plots going on and it takes forever for them all to connect. The romantic subplot crap is a pain in the ass and dragging Moira back was particularly idiotic when you realize they once again gave her nothing to do in the final act except overlook Charles completely violating her personhood in the first movie by wiping her mind without consent so she can get back together with him. The shit with Erik’s Poland family is stupid even if it’s done well. Magneto of all fucking people does not need more man pain for god’s sake. Lawrence is so checked out she really might as well be a phone recording as Lindsay Ellis points out in her Loose Canon series on YouTube. The only one who really had any interesting development was Storm and I hope they keep on with her because she’s a really good character. There’s just not much there for me, or what is there isn’t of any value. I really hope the next one is better. (Probably a far-fetched hope but a girl can dream.)

Warnings: Lazy writing (and comic-book-movie-typical violence)

Recommend?: I mean you probably want to watch if you’re watching the series. It’s not the worst X-Men movie. I’m probably a little harsh on it. There are the Wolverine sequels. Still, if you’re not that invested, it’s probably not worth it.

Jane Eyre (Rochester)

Rating: 11/10 10/10

Quick Summary: Jane Eyre has lived a fairly unfortunate life, having been put under watch of her cruel aunt after her parents’ deaths and consequently sent to a boarding school that beats its pupils into submission, but remains strong in spite of this. She finds herself a new job as a governess at Thornfield Hall and soon meets its master, Edward Fairfax Rochester. The two begin to talk and form an interesting relationship in spite of their large age difference. Jane begins to fall for her employer, overlooking his rough exterior to the person underneath. Rochester reciprocates, but all is not well. Jane discovers her lover is hiding a dark secret and must decide whether to be true to her love for him or to herself.

Some Thoughts: I WOULD DIE FOR JANE EYRE TBH THE DAY NETFLIX TOOK IT OFF WAS A TRAVESTY. Really, though it’s such a good movie and very loyal to the book. It’s a period piece, but it’s very different from something like Pride and Prejudice, a lot because Jane is such an interesting character. I love her and Mia Wasikowska does a great job. Rochester is a bitch, but…..he’s a bitch with a good heart. Realistically he’s supposed to be kind of….not good looking? So casting Fassbender might have been counterproductive, but it does mean he has to compensate for his incredibly square jawline which can’t be hidden behind that shit sideburn beard with his acting, which he does very well. His charisma kind of helps to smooth over the fact that Rochester can be standoffish to viewers that aren’t prepared for him. He is no Mr. Darcy. The chemistry between the two is great and the story is really enthralling. The music is gorgeous and the ending is satisfying. Well-shot, well-paced, loyal to the original, just a great adaptation all together. It’s not a happy movie, but it has a happy ending. I really have nothing but good things to say about it. Please give it a chance if you’re even a bit interested.

Warnings: You might cry/a little blood

Recommend?: Yes!

Shame (Brandon)

Rating: 10/10

(Quick note: if you’re like “wow you sure aren’t harsh on these movies” listen this was back when I was actually choosing the ones I wanted to watch….so yeah….these are mostly good ones at first. There are definitely some bads on here….don’t you worry…)

Quick Summary: Without giving away everything: Brandon is a pretty normal man struggling with a sex addiction which he basically refuses to acknowledge at the beginning of the movie. His lifestyle is disrupted when his younger sister Sissy comes to stay at his apartment without asking him first. The rest of the film is about their complicated and mildly toxic relationship and Brandon dealing (and not dealing) with his addiction with mixed results.

Some Thoughts: This is one of those movies like Brokeback Mountain that just kind of….sticks on you. I felt that way about Silence of the Lambs too where you watch it and then you can’t really forget about it. Fassbender has worked with Steve McQueen who directed this film three times, this being the second, and they make a great pair. McQueen loves him some long takes and he does them well. His style of directing is unflinching to the point of it being uncomfortable which works well for the type of stories he likes to tell. It’s a very quiet movie, not much dialogue, but it really hits home. This really is one of Fassbender’s best of performances in my opinion. He can do a lot with just his expressions and it really shows here. The dynamic between him and Carey Mulligan who plays Sissy is really poignant. I probably could never do it justice with words alone. It’s difficult to watch, but worth it. It’s one of those movies where the protagonist doesn’t really grow, pointed out very blatantly here. True development hasn’t taken place, at least not yet. Whether or not you think it actually will after this is left up to how optimistic you are for the characters and the story.

Warnings: This is rated NC-17 for a reason. They do not shy away from anything and they do not cut you a break by easing into it. Translation: if you’re disinterested in becoming familiar with some very particular bits of Fassy’s anatomy I’d steer clear. Also strong warning for themes (and fairly graphic depictions) of self-harm.

Recommend?: I would never tell someone to watch this movie, but I would definitely advocate for it. Read the description (that a professional has written, not just mine fff), check the warnings, see if you’re up for it. This is one you need to choose to watch, not be forced to.

Macbeth (Macbeth)

Rating: 6/10

Quick Summary: Oh god, I still don’t remember the plot of this thing…. I swear I read it once but you’d be better off reading the Spark Notes or something. It’s based on the Shakespeare play (obviously) where this dude named Macbeth and his wife Lady Macbeth go around killing people to gain power because some weird ladies in the middle of a field told him he’d be king. Everyone fucking dies at the end per usual due to really ridiculous loopholes. A grand old time, as always, with Mr. ‘speare.

Some Thoughts: Listen pal I got food poisoning trying to watch this damn movie THE CURSE OF THE SCOTTISH PLAY IS REAL. But really, it’s kind of what you’d expect? All of this is coming from me, an idiot, who doesn’t remember the play super well and is shit at Shakespeare, so bear that in mind, but?? It stuck to the original pretty well. It’s played dead-ass straight, so know that right now. There is no humor in this movie ever; it’s completely serious. Also impossible to understand because it’s Shakespearean English in Scottish accents. You’d be better off with a background knowledge of the play I think. That said, the visuals in this movie are absolutely gorgeous holy shit. The ending fight scene is incredible. That alone made it worth the watch for me at least. Marion Cotillard who plays Lady Macbeth is amazing as well. What a great performance. It’s a solid film. You need to accept its no-nonsense attitude to get into it, but otherwise it’s fine.

Warnings: It gets pretty bloody, but not overly so.

Recommend?: Not really, unless you really like the play or have a good knowledge of it already. It’s beautiful, but a little too serious for the casual viewer. I assume that’s why its reviews are kind of mixed.

Prometheus (David)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: Two scientists discover a series of ancient drawings, all of which are very similar despite appearing hundreds of years and thousands of miles apart. They believe this might be a clue as to how the human race came to be, a path to our creators. They set out on the Prometheus to investigate a planet they believe to be the origin of these so called “engineers.” Things go awry as one might expect when they find the planet is already inhabited, but not by any “engineers.” Moreover, several crewmembers have secret motivations of their own for coming along which doesn’t really turn out well for anyone.

Some Thoughts: I feel like a lot of people don’t like Prometheus because it’s a think-y movie. It’s not really an action-packed thriller like other movies in the Alien franchise. This was the first in the franchise I’d ever seen so I didn’t really go in with those kind of expectations which I think was to my benefit. If you go in looking for answers you’re probably going to not like it, but I just sort of went to have a good time and pretty much did. Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw is really great. I really enjoyed her as the main character. There are some really good actors in this movie and I think they do a good job. I loved Idris Elba’s character a lot for example. It’s a beautiful film as well. Fassbender plays David, the resident android of the ship. It was interesting to watch him play a robot because he is, to me, a very emotive actor and this had to be more restrained. I don’t remember the movie super well which probably speaks to it just being an average sort of film. It’s not great, but it’s not as bad as some people seemed to think it was. Just go along for the ride and it can be a good popcorn flick.

Warnings: There’s one really graphic surgery scene that was hard to watch, but otherwise it’s (compared to the other Alien film on this list) not too bad. It really is more introspective than bloody. Also, maybe obviously, there are aliens in this movie.

Recommend?: If you’re into sci-fi thought-pieces, sure. Just don’t go in expecting a masterpiece.

Alien: Covenant (Walter and David, yes both)

Rating: (completely subjective) 8/10

Quick Summary: A group of forgettable, idiot crewmembers who are all inexplicably married for no reason other than a desperate bid to get you to care about them in any way (you won’t. trust me. they’re so stupid you’ll probably rooting against them eventually) are piloting a ship called the Covenant with 2000-some passengers and a lot of embryos on a colonizing mission. Along the way they intercept a strange transmission coming from another habitable planet they hadn’t noticed before which is much closer and decide to investigate. Once there things take a turn for the worst. After several deaths and the completely avoidable destruction of their ship, they run into David who’s been living alone on the planet for ten years after the Prometheus crashed there. They soon learn that they would have been better off braving the planet and waiting for rescue alone.

Some Thoughts: Listen I went into this movie completely expecting it to be horrible. This really was the one that started it all, where I decided I’d watch all of them. I wasn’t going to watch it because it looked ridiculous, but then it was available to rent and I was curious. In all honesty, I really only went in to see with my own eyes how and why the actual hell Fassbender was playing two characters which at some point kiss, so that was part of it. Ultimately I ended up really liking it. Now mind you, this is not a good movie. It’s not. The cast is forgettable and stupid to the point where you just want them to die already and get it over with. The only person I even slightly cared about was Daniels, the main crewmember character you follow. People die without any pomp and the movie is riddled with clichés. That said, it is a lot more like what I expect an Alien movie usually is. There’s a lot more fighting of aliens and a lot more blood. So what’s with the rating? Really it’s completely subjective, but if you know me and watch this movie you’ll probably understand. Let’s just say I have a very specific type of character I tend to like and this movie delivers.

Fassbender carries this gotdamn movie on his back half the time and somehow pulls off the ridiculous scenario of him being the two different robots. The interactions between Walter and David really were some of the more interesting parts of the film for me, completely ridiculous as they are (“I’ll do the fingering”). If you can just suspend your disbelief and go with it I insist that it can be a good time. My favor of the movie really comes from my opinion of David and I think that’s what will make or break the movie for you. It was a ballsy choice of protagonist, and when you realize that I think the forgettable main crew is a little more justifiable. Big kudos for the ending as well, at least from me. It ended exactly the way I wanted it to, and I ended up being invested in who I needed to be invested in. It’s a stupid movie, but I do think you can have fun watching it if you’re in it for the right stuff (namely the fassbots).

(Also, people are not happy about the fuck-million more Alien movies in the works but hear me out…. I have a great pitch idea….what if with every new movie we just double the number of Fassbenders…… so there’s four and then eight and then sixteen all the way until we just have infinite Fassbenders….. listen this is a great plan Mr. Scott please hire me as script consultant from now on)

Warnings: This is a lot more of a horror movie than Prometheus. It’s bloody and violent, and yes there are more aliens. Also it is really stupid. Also warnings for that sweet, sweet ‘bot-on-‘bot action ;)

Recommend?: I mean….not really. Again my opinion is so subjective here that it’s worth a grain of salt. If you do, you need to watch Prometheus first because you need to form an opinion of David.

Hunger (Bobby Sands)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: Without me sitting here for like a half hour looking up a lot of proper names and dates (which I’ve already done once when I was watching the damn thing), this a movie about a hunger strike led by a man named Bobby Sands. It takes place in a prison in Northern Ireland. A group of people called the Republicans who are fighting against being part of Britain and want one united Ireland are being arrested for political acts and are protesting in any way they can. This begins with bathing and clothing strikes, and eventually leads to a hunger strike when this accomplishes nothing.

Some Thoughts: So this is a critically-acclaimed movie and I know people really like it. I guess I can see why but compared to McQueen’s other films I didn’t think it was super impressive. It’s his first project with Fassbender and in a lot of ways it feels like an early-career film. It has a lot of pacing issues. I read reviews saying it’s two movies in one and it really is. As an American (and therefore a dumbass when it comes to conflicts in other countries because our history classes here are Shit) it was sort of a confusing movie to watch just because I didn’t really have any background knowledge about what was happening. I was doing a lot of googling throughout to catch myself up with the conflict and acronyms etc. It’d definitely strike more of a chord with someone who knew about it beforehand. It is a prison movie and it’s difficult to watch because of that. There’s a lot of mistreatment of prisoners and just kind of gross stuff in general. I was whining at one point about the hunger strike not starting until like…20 minutes before the movie ends but I see now why it didn’t because you’re basically just watching Fassbender starve to death from that point on and it’s Not Fun. There are impressive parts of it. There’s a long take of a conversation between Bobby and a priest where he explains his idea of starting a hunger strikes that is, I shit you know, seventeen fucking minutes long. It’s crazy. There are other long takes in the film but they’re not always used super effectively. This can cause the movie to drag at times. The use of sound in the movie is also really amazing. It’s very quiet usually, but picks its loud moments and picks them well. Overall I didn’t get much out of watching it, but that’s just me. I didn’t think it was worth the difficult watch.

Warnings: It’s unrated but I bet it would be R or even NC-17 if it was. Lots of disturbing shots of violence against prisoners and behaviors of the prisoners themselves tbh. There’s nudity as well, but it’s used as humiliation mostly. As usual, McQueen’s style of filmmaking is unflinching and watching someone starve to death isn’t fun.

Recommend?: Not really. McQueen has better films you could watch. Unless you’re personally interested in the conflict at hand, I’d skip it.

Frank (Frank)

Rating: 10/10

Quick Summary: An untalented aspiring musician named Jon suddenly stumbles across the opportunity of a lifetime to play in actual band when they find themselves out a keyboard player the day before a performance. Jon lends them a hand and is accepted into the group in spite of some friction with most of the members. They invite him back on what ends up being year-long trip into the woods to write a new album. While living with the band, the Soronprfbs, Jon gets to know the members better, as well as their many quirks. Notably, there is Don, the manager who seems level-headed if somewhat depressed, Clara, who doesn’t take Jon’s being there very well, and Frank, the apparent leader of the band. Jon takes a special interest in Frank who appears to be the heart and soul of the group. In spite of wearing a giant fake head at all times, he’s very friendly, encouraging, and strangely inspiring. As they work to write their album, Jon begins to record and post their progress on social media, gaining them a new following of people amused by their bizarre antics. This new popularity ends up landing them a bigger gig than they’ve ever had before, but comes at the cost of risking the band’s identity and solidarity.

Some Thoughts: Frank is an amazing movie. If someone wasn’t interested in Jane Eyre but wanted a Fassbender rec, I would 100% give this one. I love this movie to pieces and I’m so glad I watched it because I was initially on the fence with it. In fact, I liked it so much I watched it twice within my rental period, and have now purchased it. If you’re looking for something close to a comedy on this list, this is it. I kind of describe it as if Wes Anderson directed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, threw in a strong lesson about mental illness, and bumped up the rating a bit. This movie is hilarious and wonderful and poignant. The message is a really good one and one I don’t think we hear a lot. It’s a good commentary on the relationship between art and mental illness, and it’s done respectfully for the most part. Fassbender as Frank is kind of incredible. You don’t see his face for the majority of the film, but he still gives an amazing performance. I think it shows how talented he is as an actor that he pulls this part off so well. You’re intrigued as much as Jon is by him, or at least I was. The humor is a little out there and some of the themes may be off-putting, but I really do think this is one to see. Maggie Gyllenhaal as Clara is fantastic as well. It’s a difficult part but she pulls it off so wonderfully. Domhnall Gleeson as Jon gives a decent grounding point of view character as well. It’s funny and touching and goddammit maybe someday I’ll watch one of these movies without crying but that ending hit me right in the heart.

Warnings: Themes of self-harm and mental illness are present. They’re not played as a joke, but they’re there.

Recommend?: Yes please watch this movie I beg of you it deserves all the praise

Fish Tank (Connor)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: The movie is a coming-of-age story of sorts for the protagonist Mia. Mia has a difficult home life with a neglectful and often abusive mother as well as a penchant for causing trouble. Having been kicked out of school she is directionless which only furthers her spiral downward. Her only true passion is dancing, but she prefers to do this privately. One day she meets her mother’s latest fling, Connor. Unlike the others, however, Connor seems there to stay. Mia begins to interact with Connor and the two form a relationship. Connor is kind to both her and her younger sister, treating them with respect and parental affection they do not receive otherwise. Connor encourages Mia’s hobby and leads her to begin searching for a career in dancing, helping to turn her life around. Things take a turn when Mia and Connor overstep a boundary in their relationship and this leads to Mia discovering that Connor was not what she thought he was.

Some Thoughts: I’m very…ambivalent about this movie, so I don’t probably have a lot interesting to say about it. It seems to me that Fish Tank is a part of a very particular genre of movie about a specific part of the British lower class, making it difficult to relate to for someone who hasn’t experienced that way of life. I watched another movie called Beautiful Thing a long time ago that was part of this genre as well, and that’s what Fish Tank reminded me of more than anything else. It seems to be characterized by poor, crowded living conditions and abusive family dynamics more than anything else. The characters struggle to get by and are generally mean-spirited to everyone they encounter automatically. It can make for a bitter watching experience, even if it is realistic. Mia is a somewhat believable teenager. Since this is a British movie about hip-hop dancing however and the actress playing Mia has…little to no actual dancing skill, any parts of the movie that have to do with this dancing can be embarrassing to watch. You really have to accept that it’s stupid and move past it to watch the thing.

The relationship between Mia and Connor is…troubling which I’m sure it’s supposed to be but it’s never resolved. Some of the scenes in the movie are disturbing as some in Hunger. One of my biggest issues with the movie was there really seemed to be a conversation missing. The end of the film felt like it was lacking a crucial interaction between the two and it made the ending fall pretty flat, at least for me. I know people like this movie and it’s award-winning but I couldn’t relate to it in any meaningful way. It left me feeling conflicted more than anything else. I have no strong or final opinion on this movie. I do respect that it had a female director, but I feel as though I very clearly wasn’t its intended audience, so its impact on me was minor at best and non-existent at worst. There are some nice cheesecake shots in it of Fassbender I guess. I think it still wins for best ass shot afdjks;lj

Warnings: Some disturbing character behavior, especially from Mia. Abusive family dynamics and physical child abuse are also present. Also statutory r*pe. Also some really embarrassing excuses for hip-hop dancing and general cultural appropriation shit that comes from a British movie about hip-hop.

Recommend?: You can try it, but I wouldn’t advocate for it. There are better artsy films to watch unless you’re actually in the target demographic and think you might like this sort of movie.

Inglourious Basterds (Lt. Archie Hicox)

Rating: 7/10

Quick Summary: When she was young, Shosanna’s family was murdered by Nazis hunting down Jewish families who had escaped to France. Now, as a young woman, she finds herself with the opportunity to get revenge. Meanwhile, Lt. Aldo Raine has formed a group of rogue Nazi-hunters called the Basterds, infamous throughout Germany for their lack of restraint and ability to avoid capture. His team is hired by the Allies to help with a plot to hopefully take out all the big political figures in the Nazi party, including Hitler himself, in one fell swoop. It just so happens these two plans are meant to take place in the same place, on the same night.

Some Thoughts: This is the first Tarantino movie I’ve ever seen and I do think it was good for me to at least see one. I was glad to see the movie itself too, actually. It was one on here I just needed to watch outside of this thing. I enjoyed it for all it reveled (as expected) in gore occasionally. I really loved Shosanna. Mélanie Laurent did an excellent job with her and she was easily the best part of the film for me, though I did enjoy Brad Pitt’s shenanigans as Aldo. Fassbender has kind of a bit part in this one which was a little different, since he tends to steal the spotlight otherwise. It really wasn’t my favorite performance of his. It was a little unfocused, though that might be because his character is just a plot device. Kind of a shame but in true X-Men fashion all he did was show-up, fuck things up, and then make his exit. Ah well. It’s well-shot and a good time, if a little long. The blood was there, but not excessive. Maybe a good choice if you, like me, wanted to see one of these movies, but were a little nervous about the violence.

Warnings: Typical Tarantino violence, I presume. Really, it’s just a few focused shots of it, but there is scalping in this movie, as well as some mutilation and gunshot wounds. I whipped my hand up to cover the screen more the once throughout and I’m pretty decent with blood.

Recommend?: Sure. It’s a pretty solid film and last time I checked it’s free on Netflix.

Centurion (Quintus Dias)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: In the something-or-other A.D. the Romans are up somewhere near Britain trying to expand the empire, as one does, but are having trouble with the native peoples of those lands called the Picts. The Picts keep decimating their armies, as they do with Quintus Dias’s men. The Picts take him in rather than killing him because he speaks their language, allowing him to escape and meet up with another regiment. Together, they try again to attack the Picts and again are defeated handily. This time the Picts take their general of sorts. Dias and a small group of men are the only ones to survive and attempt to rescue him, but ultimately fail. Afterwards they begin their attempt to escape to safety, all the while being hunted by the Picts.

Some Thoughts: So I fully expected to hate this movie. When I saw this was the other one on Netflix I was Not Happy, but? It kind of surprised me. I think really it did a couple small things well and that turned my favor of it. It really isn’t that great of a movie, with a lot of narration and not a ton to say, but it’s certainly not offensive. It turned into a survival movie rather than a war movie which I greatly preferred. They also weren’t super over the top with the romantic subplot which was….SHOCKING. Usually, in my experience with the Fassathon, if there can be a sex scene there Will Be A Sex Scene, but not here. They meet a cool witch lady along the way who takes to Quintus, but never is it obnoxious, nor does it waste time with it. It was a breath of fresh air tbh…. I’m probably patting this movie on the back for little things too much, but I really do think it could have been a lot worse. It’s fine. I don’t really know who the target audience was supposed to be but it might be good for a night when you’re bored and can’t think of anything else to watch. You get to watch Fassbender run valiantly and stupidly shirtless through the snow if nothing else.

Warnings: It can get bloody, but not overly so. Also mentions of past sexual assault, but nothing shown.

Recommend?: Eh…like I said. Maybe for the night you’re flipping around and there’s nothing on. Decent popcorn flick, probably not worth spending money on.

Trespass Against Us (Chad Cutler)

Rating: 3/10

Quick Summary: Nothing I could write will make this movie’s plot make any damn sense but I’ll try anyway. Basically there’s this family called the Cutlers who are….Irish tent-people and also a weird kind of mob family with a patriarch named Colby. They live in this little trailer park circle and commit crimes to get by. The plot basically revolves around Fassbender’s character Chad Cutler trying to get out from under Colby’s thumb in order to give his wife and two children a better life. Unfortunately, it seems again and again that he’s already dug his grave and there’s nothing to do but lie in it.

Some Thoughts: So this is a weird movie. The whole conceit is weird and another one that you just kind of have to go with to be able to watch it. Its problem is that it doesn’t really have an arc or a narrative that goes anywhere. If it really had wanted to do something it would have needed to allow Chad to make any progress in his attempts to get away. The dialogue is full of slang and really difficult to understand at times. The whole dynamic of the family is sort of confusing and it’s never explained, just thrust upon you immediately. There are some good interactions, notably between Colby and Chad. The parental relationship between Chad and his son is interesting too, but it really just doesn’t go anywhere with itself. I got a little caught up in the emotionality of it watching it, but looking back I can see how flawed it is. I really don’t see what the director was getting at. Also the religious overtones are strange and didn’t do a whole lot. Just kind of unimpressive if still nice to look at sometimes.

Warnings: Animal death. A lot, actually, and often purposeful. Disturbing behavior, especially one scene where a man is stripped and humiliated. It was surprising and difficult to watch.

Recommend?: Hard pass. Skip it.

300 (Stelios)

Rating: 4/10

Quick Summary: Gerard Butler leads a group of 300 dudes against a gigantic, vaguely racist depiction of the Persian army.

Some Thoughts: I have nothing original to say about this movie, I’m sure. I was……not super happy to find it on here honestly, so I did my best to just enjoy it by making fun of it. Most people know what 300 is like. It’s got some interesting visuals, but it’s definitely one that looks pretty and does as little as possible. Mostly it’s a male power fantasy interwoven with quite a bit of racism, particularly in the portrayal of the Persians. It’s saturated with slow-mo shots and rousing speeches that aren’t really that important to anything. It’s a good one to watch on a bad movie night probably if you don’t mind some of the gore. This was Fassbender’s first theatrical appearance if I’m correct and he’s fine. I guess one plus-side of this movie is that everyone’s practically naked the whole time and super buff so that can be fun to ogle if nothing else. It is what it is.

Warnings: Body horror, lots of blood, and war stuff. Tiddies? Racism? Scottish yelling?

Recommend?: It’s your life buddy. It’s probably one to see once so you can rag on it in good conscience.

Steve Jobs (Steve Jobs)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: A movie shot in three parts showing a dramatized version of the events before the release of three of Jobs’s products, focusing in on his relationship with his coworkers as well as past lover and daughter.

Some Thoughts: This is an excellent movie. It’s another one I’d readily recommend to anyone. The scale of the script is unheard of, meaning it’s super dialogue-heavy but you don’t notice at all. It’s completely absorbing. The performances are top-notch all around. This is another one of Fassbender’s best performances. He sinks into the role completely and does a phenomenal job. Kate Winslet is equally wonderful and balances Fassbender’s Jobs well. I really knew nothing about Jobs before watching this movie and I don’t know how much is true and how much is dramatized but I think that shows that even someone who knows nothing can enjoy it and find it interesting. The politics of it all were particularly wild to bear witness to. It’s a great character piece and it deserved the nominations it got in my opinion. I really liked Jobs’s relationship with his daughter as well. I don’t know how they managed to make a movie full of mostly talking so exciting but they did. I also think they did a great job of not idolizing Jobs at all, nor vilifying him. They walked a fine line and wrote him so he seemed truly human rather than a historical figure. That’s hard to do but they nailed it. Once again, I have little bad to say. If you’re not interested in Jane Eyre, Shame, or Frank here’s another good option for you.

Warnings: The IMDb parental advisory page said something about there being some sex/intimacy stuff but I never saw anything which makes me Highly Suspicious

Recommend?: Yes! Give it a chance!

(cont. in pt. 2 / pt. 3)

#fassathon #shut up alice #holy shit an actual post?#that's never happened before #listen i know this is long as shit #and no one's going to actually read this #but i spent a long-ass time on this #and i wanted to actually put it up for posterity #really i'm just proud of how hard i dragged the counselor #i'm sure there are grammatical errors in here but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i had to wrap this thing up somehow #it's 1000% self-indulgent but....i don't Care #if i had anywhere more appropriate to post this i would but....#where tf else am supposed to put this crap

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celestialallstars · 5 years

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Episode #13: “baaa louder.” - Zach

So after that tribal I feem good and bad. On one end, I think it was the best case for me to use it for vote reveal and it showed Bryce/Zach up, Rhys is out and yeah. On the other, I regret voting Rhys out now because it will give Michael and Chloe an excuse to force rocks in F8 unless some serious minigames are done. SO I am going to ask Michael/Chloe to F3 maybe? Not sure yet but I think now if I ever do reach the end, I am gonma probably use this vote as a reason to win since I feel if I didnt make the decision to say anything, I would have possibly left. AND everyone got exposed? Miss me on that revote

girl im going home

so tribal happened and like. period. it was really sad + like i love rhys and seeing him go was upsetting, but like.. it's the game. no hard feelings! but i'm so frustrated with so many people. it's less of the game but more of how they acted, and thats why bryce and i snapped and leaked literally every little thing we know. like my issues were like... chris' main point was vilifying bryce & i for targeting him, but like, that happened AFTER loris slept. and??? they had a plan since i lost immunity to split on bryce/rhys. like yeah be mad at me for the shadiness of the mitch vote per se (albeit it not being super shady imo), but like... call that out initially. don't act like im in the wrong for the vote TONIGHT when the alliance was always so cliquey. then chloe got... idk. arrogant? like i snapped at her (wrongly so) but my annoyance with her is not deep, its just that she is like 'oh yalls voted me' but its like... ok. we thought you leaked. and even if you didnt (which she didnt), they legittttt WERE VOTING BRYCE ANYWAY LIKE . IT DOESNT MATTER. STOP VICTIMIZING YOURSELF. YOU WERE SHADY YOURSELF. but i cant be too mad because they didnt know about the 8 person alliance (supposedly) and i suppose with the info they DID have, they made a good decision. though still dumb i hate it but its my fault too who cares im perfect. jared is just so slimey. and stephen like??? saying 'i said to u dont fk me and you immediately snitch to bryce' BUT YOU HAD A PLAN TO BLINDSIDE ME AND MY ALLIES LIKEEEE STOP JUST SAY YOURE SNAKEY. LIKE IM OPENLY SNAKEY. ILL SAY IT. BUT DONT VILIFY ME???? HELLO?? like its the pot calling the kettle black.

i'm overdramatic just because im IN the mood to go off. or, was. i snapped (wrongly so) tonight. i want anyone who reads this to know its not personal and i love all of u dearly but . im frustrated and i want a good edgic rating LOL

loris frustrates me because he legit is a goat. he can deny that all he wants but there is a literal 0% chance i vote him at this rate to win. i dont know why. he just.. isnt playing for himself. whats NEW. jk... love u. IM JUST frustrated.

on good news, i got a super idol. period. aint telling anyone. like i love bryce but i dont want him to expect me to use it on him because . it wont be good for my game. im playing for myself and myself only. like... period. tho i hope him and i can manage to survive a bit but i dont think thats likely.

im not reviewing this i just am writing whats in my feelings so its more authentic LOL

anyway this game was super fun. despite being stressful and straining, the call was super enjoyable and this org has been one of my favs, and this night has made it sm better. so period. no regrets, just faggotry.

________________________________________________________________

i'm a flop.

Everything seems so messy tonight. Rhys has approached me about me, him, Michael, Bryce nd Zach workin together but like... they seemed so actively against me sooooo idk what's going on there it feels like a trap. They suggested doing Chris which does kinda sound real but that could be part of the trap idk im very nervous. I just kinda said I would go along with the plan but I don't really intend to do that. I don't think Chris is the move for me this round, Rhys doesn't speak to me which is why I'm also nervous the alliance came from nowhere. To my knowledge the votes are gonna be split 3-3-3 in case of an idol, which I hope gets flushed. Idols make me nervy. Hell I didn't even know Jared had an idol that fucking snake, but it's fine cause he played it on me.

(((((aj note --- this confessional above is obviously from last round but its 2am and i want to go to sleep so idk))))))))

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Last night was an absolute mess and I feel I missed a lot of what went on so I need to watch the post tribal live stream to see if I can try to make more sense of what went down. So far I gathered Jared is a snake, we been knew and Bryce is a leaker. However the leaking shit got pinned on me YET AGAIN. WHY THE FUCK DO THESE BITCH ASS HOES KEEP PINNING SHIT ON ME. FUCK U BRYCE

I just, everything's a mess. All the alliances i doubt are going to work, Jared isnt long for this game, me or Stephen may follow him out, and the rest will likely see some combo of Loris/Michael/Chloe in the end. I dont know, suddenly feeling hopeless about all of this and like, pretty unhappy at the moment. I knew it would be hard but like I literally am struggle to have clear thoughts and with this and outside life factors I'm just feeling lost at the moment.

hi i'm less mad so ignore my above confessional LOL. thank u for tuning in.

except u loris. baaa louder.

Whew hunny last night exposed a lot of fake ass bitches but we really been knew they’re fake. I’m feeling confident about the next few rounds because I think people see myself and Chloe as numbers and people they need to bring on board to make plans work. Part of my strategy this game is to sit back and let the bigger players come in and try and make the big moves everyone wants to feel like they’re making a difference and everyone wants to build their resume by making big moves and as long as I can maintain my threat level I think I’ll be safe and I can have a bit of Influence in the game as people scramble for my vote.

WELL! That was an interesting tribal!

Shortly before tribal, it came out that a secret group of 5 was made to blindside Chris. (Zach/Bryce/Rhys/Michael/Chloe)

I obviously didn't want that to happen, and neither did Chris or Jared. Bryce leaked it to Jared, and Jared told me and Chris. I made the INDEPENDENT decision to confront Zach about this, because I'm not asking for permission to make moves sorry. The only issue is that Zach immediately went to Bryce, even though I asked him not to fuck me. Bryce went to Jared and Chris, and they went back to me. WELP! That just hurts my strategic relationship with Zach even more than the vote already would have.

Chloe and Michael were doing what they could to keep the votes off Chloe, luckily, my move with Zach ensured that they failed! WOO!

I don't want to make the same mistake as Matt though. I may have a decent majority now, but I don't want to burn my bridges with Zach and Bryce. I stayed out of the drama last night (mostly) and I'm gonna keep talking game with them. I might not be able to fully repair things totally but I'm confident I can do better than the other 5.

I'm gonna go over my relationships with the remaining castaways since there's finally a small enough number for me to feel like doing that:

Chris: My closest ally, we tell each other basically everything. I'm worried about going to Final Tribal with him though. He's played well in every facet of the game and literally won "Who do you want to see win" in Touchy Subjects. If I don't get a chance to take him out at the end, I think I can mount a strong argument against him. but I'd only feel comfortable making that move if I was already immune and definitely going to Final Tribal.

Jared: My second(?) closest ally, though I now know he has kept a TONNNN of secrets from me and on top of that he's a threat to win. Luckily, with all the info coming out from last round, I don't think I'll need to worry about Jared being at Final Tribal.

Loris: With Rhys gone, Loris has officially taken the title of "person I kinda wanna maybe side with but he's talked about voting me out so we're not cool". I kinda wanna weaken Bryce and Zach (or maybe vote them both out) before taking a shot against him, I just hope he doesn't realize I know he's after me until it's too late.

Michael: I really don't know where I stand with Michael LMAO! He voted with us last round but never informed us about the plan to get Chris out. He said he was "going to" but I don't believe that for a second. In fact, I think if Chris hadn't revealed what Bryce had leaked there's a chance he may have gone through with it.

Chloe: I kinda love Chloe. I wish I never accidentally turned the majority alliance against her. She's fun to hang around with AND someone I think I could beat in the end. It's like a win-win. Except I don't think she wants me anywhere near the end.

Zach: Out of the 3 people out of the loop at the last vote my relationship with Zach was the strongest. That having been said, neither of us were really sharing much information with each other after Mitch left and I feel like there's really not much further we can go together. Him and Bryce are both good options to be targeted at this vote.

Bryce: While I've personally known it for quite some time, for Bryce to outright say he didn't want to me in an alliance with me is kind of the most red a red flag can be. If I have it my way, Bryce will be the next person voted out. Granted, I'm saying all of this before immunity results and real strategic talks can begin, so my mind might change, but it's not likely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPS6OykNvh0 its so sad im going home tldr: im gone chris can say 1000 words but if they all mean nothing whats the point. jared ruined my trust in people forever. chloe is a goat hypocrite who aggravates me. stephen is alright not good not bad. rhys is my king and im so sad hes gone i legit love that man. zach is fake. michael is annoying. loris is being a goat but who cares. omg me taking 0 blame for anything bad that happened to me? more likely than u think!!

hi! so. I think I can win this game. my intentions for a while have been to get out someone I don’t see working with personally, rhys, and then attempt a flip on jared/stephen. i also very much have wanted to turn on Chris because I believe me and him are playing similarly in that we have positioned ourself well into the middle, and going to the end with someone who’s basically played the same game but more well-polished is not a good idea! i wanted to get myself this immunity so that I could talk to people about flipping without risk of being ratted and then voted out, which was almost what happened to chloe last round. im also starting to become aware of how me never attending tribal is making me fall under the radar in a way?? everyone is fighting each other and arguably making situations worse for themselves by giving an answer straight away, for example, bryce declaring his f2 with Jared in the call. though people can still slander me while I’m not there, what they say cannot be dwelled on for too long because I’m not there, putting me in a more favourable position than some of the other people here? I think? that someone said that I was playing the middle last tribal council and well.. they’re right so oops.

my ideal path to the end would be stephen and jared leaving the next rounds, and then Chris, although the order does not concern me right now. then I would be at final 5 with Bryce zach chloe and michael and then whoever isn’t immune out of bryce and zach can be voted out. perry. and then I’m gonna have to pray to god I win final immunity OR Michael or Chloe do but like that doesn’t feel likely to me. AND THEN I WIN!!!

ALSO. im in the final 7. I just need to survive one more round and then I’m guaranteed final 5... because no way in hell im playing that legacy on someone else.. I am not letting THAT happen again.

Me nd Michael been talking, nd we’ve wanted to make a move for a bit now but crazy shit keeps happening. We needed to take down Rhys and break up the Rhys/Bryce/Zach trio so Bryce nd Zach are more useable. Now we planning on flipping on Jared/Chris/Stephen. My current target would be Jared because as much as I trust him and adore him I think he’s definitely running this bitch. Then Loris decides he also wants to flip nd he tells Michael that he wanted to exclude me but JOKES ON U LORIS I WAS ALREADY PLANNING ON FLIPPING U DUMB FUCK. Which was kinda obvious he was planning on excluding me cause Zach and Michael both messaged me about it and I knew Loris was involved in the flipping but he hadn’t messaged me about it sooooo. Don’t test me Loris I’ll make u be voted next.

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#FuckLoris

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GRIT YOUR TEETH, PULL YOUR HAIR, PAINT THE WALLS BLACK AND SCREAM FUCK THIS CAST CAUSE ITS MY GAME AND IM GONNA TAKE IT BACK

So tonight the plan me chloe and loris are sailing to the majority alliance that voted together last time is that the votes will be spilt. And they will be but we won’t be joining we will be switching to Jared and eliminating the biggest threat in the game at this point. From there I’m thinking of flipping to take out zach or Bryce and continuing on the game switching to control the power in the game.

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Part of the beauty of this move to blindside Jared is that a lot of the blame for the flip is shared amongst both Chloe and Loris paired with Bryce and Zach being bigger threats means that my name will most likely still be out of peoples mouth I just have some major damage control to do to stop Stephen/Chris teaming up with Zach/Bryce and creating a 4-3.

A lot has happened.

Bryce and I's F2 imploded because of me, and even though we reconciled today I don't think I can truly work with him again. Best I can do is try to secure his jury vote.

I have deals with Stephen Chris Michael and Chloe, Loris will hopefully fall by the wayside next round.

The plan this time was to get Michael onside in PMs and gauge his interest for voting out Zach, reinforcing the "this is our shield strategy." He did the work from there. Yeet!

________________________________________________________________

Jared is voted out 5-2-1. He becomes the fifth member of our jury.

Watch Jared’s exit interview take place below:

youtube

#episode #shinebright

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wtfnoie · 5 years

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A thing I did for class. It was a para for a rp, but I turned it into a 3 page story.

Backstory: Luke was on a reality show, show was having a reunion, Calum wasn’t going back; dating Michael; Luke has a son. Word count; 1370 tw; mentioning death

There was a lot of things Luke thought he would never experience and losing his best friend at nineteen was one of the many things. At least it was one thing he never wanted to actually deal with. His biggest regret was the last fight he had with Calum. It was a stupid fight, as they all were. It wasn’t their biggest fight in almost ten years of friendship. They had gone weeks without talking. Like the one time after Jacoby was born and Luke almost didn’t want to see him and Calum called him stupid and dragged him to LA. Luke remembers him saying he would never forgive himself for not being in his son's life and that he was being a selfish teenager. Which to be fair, he was only seventeen at the time. Yet Luke couldn’t stop thinking about their last fight, replaying it over and over on loop in his head.

“You’re so stupid. Honestly who thought this would be a good idea. Better question who allowed you to have a motorcycle license. Don’t you have to pass an IQ test first?” He frowned looking at the shiny bright red bike sitting in his driveway. His best friend grinning proudly perched atop it holding his helmet in his left arm. “Dude you’re daughter just turned one! And do you know the stats for motorcycle crashes?!” He all but screamed at the dark haired boy, who just chuckled and shrugged. “You worry too much Lukey poo. I’ll be fine. Wanna ride?” Crossing his arms and shaking his head letting out a heavy sigh. “No. My son needs me. I have a family to think about. Something you should probably think about.” Thinking back, he may have been over reacting. Calum was the smartest out of their friend group, the only dumb thing he had ever done was get a drunk joke tattoo.

Grabbing his phone and taking a picture of the reunion invite, before going to send it to Calum. He had to stop himself, remind himself that Calum is gone. He didn’t want to face those people without his best friend. What was he supposed to say? How do you respond to the ‘Im sorry’s and ‘I know it’s hard.’ He had already gone through that. And the last thing he wanted to do was deal with it from a bunch of fake people. People who will try to share fake memories, or say Calum was such a great guy. When in reality Luke knows damn well they thought he was an asshole. He’d have to go back to where they lived, and get flooded with Calum everywhere. Three years wasn’t nearly long enough to grieve and now how he had to put on a brave face and act okay. It was something that had to be done, not for himself.

It was the Saturday before they left to the reunion. Luke was out picking up last minute things he would need for the trip. Snacks for Jake, an extra suitcase, little things that he had been putting off in hopes of getting out of going. As he was driving home he took the same road he took every other day, stopped at the same flower shop like he did every other day, and picked up the same flowers he got every other day, and made his way to the cemetery like he had done every other day for four and half years now. Parking in the same spot he parked every time, and followed the familiar worn out path that had quickly become like a second home.

He sat down, in his spot and cleaned off Calum’s plaque. He did this regularly. Usually he would do it on his way home from work, or on his way to work. Even when he just needed to think or be alone. But he always made time to see his best friend. Just to sit and talk to him, and tell him about his day, show him pictures of everyone. And just keep him updated on life. Luke picked up the old flowers, and threw them out, replacing them with the new ones.Luke put his phone on do not disturb before sitting down. “Hey cal.” He said softly smiling. “It’s the ten year reunion, tomorrow. Gonna be weird seeing everyone besides you.” He got comfortable as he continued to talk to him. He really needed to invest in those butt cushion things. He took a deep breathe looking up at the sky leaning back on his hands.

“I was planning on asking Mikey to marry me this week. Weird to think you won’t be there, or at the wedding. Remember how you would tease us back in highschool and always say we’d be the first two to get married. Never thought it’d be to each other. Can’t even ask you to be my best man. You’re an asshole. You just had to leave me.” He said chuckling as he wiped a few tears away. “Still going to ask him. He has no idea, I haven’t even hinted at it in awhile. I know you’ll still be there for me. You’re always there with me.” He sat up crossing his legs. “I stopped by your parents earlier.” He continued. “I wanted to see all the family before I left for a week. You know your mum, said I was too skinny. She made me food, and we talked about you.We always do. She shows me pictures, and we talk about how much of a brat you were growing up. Mali stopped by too. She misses you. Everyone does. I’m still waiting for you to walk into my house and say just kidding. And I’ll punch you and call you an asshole. But you’d be here with us.” By now his voice was barely a whisper and his cheeks were tear stained.

“I love you Calum.” He said running his fingers over the engraved words. “I shouldn’t have to be sitting here, and telling you this way. But I am and life sucks. I don’t want to say I told you so again. But damn it Calum Thomas, I told you it was a bad idea. I wish I could take you with me. I’ll miss you everyday, and think of you.” He was rambling by now. It’s what most of his visit consisted of. Him rambling to Calum about everything and anything. Just like old times, before everything happened, and they would just sit in his or Luke’s room and talk about anything. All of their dreams, their hopes, their plans. Remembering when they talked about ruling the world.

Luke was in the middle of putting Jake to bed. He had just walked out of his room, when his phone started ringing in his pocket. He frowned not recognizing the number, but answered anyways. Within a split second his whole world crumbled around him. He didn’t remember much, but dropping to the ground and crying. It’s where Michael had found him. His best friend, his older brother was gone. They had told him he was speeding around the bend, and ended up under an eighteen wheeler.

Luke wiped his eyes again, and checked the time, two hours had already gone by.“I love you Calum.” He said again as he started to stand. “I’ll see you again in a week. I’ll tell you how everything goes, and if Mikey says yes. I actually told your mum my idea. She said you’d be happy for us. I’m having my assistant bring you new flowers while I’m gone. Be good while I’m away. Bye Calum.” He said softly pressing a kiss to his fingers tip and leaning down to press it against his grave stone. “Love you” He whispered one last time and walked back to his car. He took a deep breathe, and started his car. With a heavy heart he pulled out of the space and started his journey home. There are some things he wished he never took for granted. Time, his loved ones, and time with his loved ones.

#&stfu noie #&mun things #old rp things turned homework lmao

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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“Dope A-F” - 4/19-4/22 - “I’m Probably Not Going To Do That”

Let’s get it popping you sweet ass laydees and baybees! I had a fun and interesting weekend, and then a fun show Monday night. So let’s get to it boo!

4/19

There was a huge storm coming for Richmond so I was able to get out of work early. I am beyond happy I did because I was in traffic forever on 95. It usually takes me at the most 2 hours to get to DC, and I didn’t get parked until about 3 1/2 hours. Just a lot of accidents and people not knowing how to drive.

I finally get up there and get my usual parking spot. I then walked about 35 minutes until I get to the DC Comedy Loft at Bier Baron. I am going to be hosting for Eddie Pence in the cellar area. It is a dope basement room and always an interesting and fun show. It is much more intimate than the upstairs room, and honestly I prefer it.

I get there and they’ve got a lot of stuff set up. Eddie is filming a crowdfunded comedy special. He has brought his feature with him and her name is Jennifer Sterger (Roast Battle, The Upside). When I get there Eddie is talking to the sound guy Grant about the rundown of the show. It sounded a little weird to me, and when Grant points me out as the host Eddie runs it down for me.

Eddie wanted me to go up and do 10. Then the feature do 10. Eddie does an hour and then I go back up and do another 10 while they drop checks. He asks me if this is ok, and in a rare moment of self worth I tell him it doesn’t make sense for me to be making half the money the feature is and having to do twice the time. He understood this completely and we changed it to where she would go up twice. I felt weird about standing up for myself, but honestly at the end of the day I know I did the right thing. It was super dope after that because everybody was cool and understanding and I throughly enjoyed getting to know both of them.

The first show starts and it’s al to of Eddie’s friends and family, but they were an older crowd and were super tight. I had a pretty good set, but I was working my ass off to break through. I messed up the wording on some of my jokes which was frustrating, but for the most part the audience couldn’t tell. I’d give this set a C+. It was a solid start to a hosting weekend.

Jennifer went up and they were not fans of her. I felt bad, because they just did not dig her shit. Which sucks because it was totally the crowd. They just didn't vibe. After her was Eddie. He is a good comic, and had some strong material. The audience was so drunk, and just not great. He had a really good set, but his stuff was not killing the way that it should have.

After his set she and him both went back up and did a Q and A type of thing to pass the time. It was super awkward, but I was just glad I didn’t have to do it. Also they had no AC on because of the noise throwing off the recording. So it was like 90 degrees in there and everybody was sweating like crazy.

Because they didn’t sell enough tickets they cancelled the second show and scheduled a male strip show. So I grabbed my bag as soon as the show was over and walked over to Big Hunt. Even though I had a bunch of time to kill before the show I would rather hang out at Hunt than sit around and do nothing. I grabbed some Tiki Taco, and got over there.

I went downstairs at Hunt and Charlie Ross was there. We hung and talked as more comics showed up. Eventually Maddy Brannon and Martin Amini came in to chill since they had been opening up the paid shows this weekend. Sean also came in and was explaining to a new comic the steps to get on open mics.

Everybody is shooting the shit, and having a good time. They were saying the second show for them had a super tight crowd. I could tell just from the sound of the room that they were hesitant. We all talked about how that’s how comedy works sometimes. It was a good fun talk. Michael Summers eventually showed up and then Sean made the list. I found out I was going first and I was so excited, because there is nothing I like more than getting to head out early in DC.

The show starts and they seem a little tight. Sami Sfeir was hosting and it took his whole set for him to crack them. When I get called up I just really go in and try to sell all my jokes. I got some big pops and tried a new joke that worked pretty well there. I am super pleased with how it goes. I’d give this set a B. A solid and dope start. I head off stage, grab my stuff, say goodbye, and head back to my car to go to TJs where I pass out almost immediately.

4/20

I spent most of the next day sleeping. The only time I left TJs was to go grab a bite to eat with him at Hooters. After this we headed back and napped before I got my shit together and headed back to DC. I got to my parking spot and walked right over. I was excited because both shows were happening tonight.

I get there and the first show looks like it is going to be lightly attended at first. I kind of chill and relax and get in the mindset of another tough show. As we get closer and closer to showtime it really starts to fill out. It is pretty packed and they have a great energy. I also find out they are going to keep the AC on tonight, and also the format changed (now it will be me doing 10, then him doing an hour, then her doing 10).

The show starts and I have a really dope and hot hosting set. Everything is working, and I felt like I could have gone on way over my time. I close super strong and I’d give this set a B. They are super warmed up and I bring Eddie up and he has a super hot set for an hour. I feel like he is going to get a lot of usable footage out of it. Then Jennifer goes up and they dig her a lot. She has a much better set than the night before which I was happy about.

After the first show Jennifer and I talk about the other stuff she does and what she’s into. Her husband plays baseball, but she does a lot of stuff with wrestling which is pretty awesome. So we talk about that for a while.

The second show of the night is going to be shit. It is a light crowd. They’re all super drunk and I can tell they aren’t going to be a lot of fun. An older white dude wearing gym shorts, t shirt, and socks in flip flops comes over and asks me how many comics are on the show. He asks me if I’m funny, then asks if the headliner is funny, and then how long the show is going to be. It was a super strange interaction.

This show is about half the size of the first one and the audience seems wack. I go up and I struggle. I warm them up, but I am definitely having to work my ass off on this one. The stuff from the first show works, and I close a little differently. I did my job, but was not happy with it at all. I’d give it a C-. Eddie then goes up and he also has to fight them forever. People won't quit texting or talking and after his set I find out he people being the worst are some of his friends from high school. Some people are just ass holes. Jennifer goes up and does ok, but honesty we were all just powering through this one.

I get my check and talk to everybody. THey’re super nice as I say my goodbyes and I feel like I’ve definitely made some friends this weekend. I then head over to Big Hunt. I get there and the crowd is pretty awesome. I am up in a few people so I am just hanging in the hall. Nathan Luft is hosting this one.

I end up having an interesting discussion about road comics, good rooms/bad rooms, and the importance of doing both with a few of the other comics. Talks like this are always fun even when I don’t agree with what is being said.

While Im there I hear my buddy Ross screaming at people heckling from the stage. Then someone got the bouncer and made a huge scene throwing these guys out. I’m like 10 feet away sitting with Jack Coleman as these dudes are getting thrown out. It was low-key awesome to see even though it disrupted the show.

After this I go up and have a fun set. I have a heckler but he’s not a big deal. I kill with my first bit and the second one I do only does ok which is fine. I was still super happy with how I handled the heckler and just did my own shit. I’d give my set a B/B+. I then walked to my car and started to drive home. I get back at around 4 am and pass out so I can go to church with the family the next day.

4/22

I am in a great mood at work all day. I had had a super great Easter with my family. We all got together, ate a bunch of food, and enjoyed a super fun day. So I had all this positive energy follow me through the day which was super nice. I was stoked to get to do The Southern.

I talk to Paige on the phone up there and I riff a new idea, and he tells me to try it. I am super nervous, but I love having new jokes and I love this room. I finally get to the show at about 7. I come in super happy and start shooting the shit with Paige, Danny (the gm), and JR.

People start walking in and I just have a fun energy. I’m busting balls, and riffing until the cows come home. Chris shows up and he seems a little upset. This blows over pretty quickly and we are all having fun. He gets the list ready and has a comics meeting outside. We are piggy backing the show (each comic brings up the next comic) and I am up third. In-between Chris Cantrell, and Keaton Ray.

Chris gets the show started pretty close to on time. There isn’t a ton of people here, but we are determined to have fun. As Chris starts his set a few more people start to file in. Honestly it is awesome to see. We get a pretty good crowd for the open mic all things considered. The best thing is usually when people come to this mic they stay for like 90% of it.

The first few comics do ok, but can’t really break through. I go up and I start a little weak up top, but eventually break through. I get some big laughs, and my NEW BIT WORKED. I only did it as a quick line, but I realize there is a lot of meat on those bones. I’m going to work the hell out of that joke until it is a signature bit. I’d give my set a B-, but honestly I get off stage and feel like a million bucks.

As the show goes on I get to hang and see a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in a while like Anne Meng, John Marg, Sam Padgett, Charles Bill, Keaton, and some others. Anne takes a super funny Boomerang of me with my legs in the air pretending to finger myself that made me laugh out loud. As each comic goes up there is a lot of good sets this night. The audience is small but mighty. All in all a great night. I leave early so I can get some rest. I talk to Paige on the way home, and I stop at Sheets to get some fried cheese. A super fun time, and I’m really glad I got to do it.

THIS WAS A HOOT TO DO LAYDEES! I’ve got some big shows this week. Tots on Wednesday in Blacksburg at 9:30 and Thursday is the last Host Battle open mic at Pro Re Nata at 8 in Crozet. So come one and come all. I love you all very much. Thanks for the support and see y’all next time. XOXOXO

#comedy #jokes #funny #hilarious #roast #dc #washington #comedy club #improv #comedy loft

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celestialallstars · 5 years

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Episode #3: "Make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent" - Mo

So first off WOOOOO! The vote happened exactly as it was supposed to. I'm hoping that means I'm actually on the pulse of this tribe. I've gradually been getting closer to Jared, and I think he trusts me probably more than I trust him.

Second off, this challenge my god. I hate it, like it's a good challenge but for me... oof. Doing this, it's like I have facial dyslexia or something. Like all of the mouths and eyes start blending together and it just starts to look nuts.

I'm hoping to keep trudging forward, if we somehow pull a win out of this, even better if Cyrena goes to tribal again given it was basically unanimous. Alternatively Orfeo to balance things out. I'm tired though and it's been a long day, so it is now time to sleep.

I’m conflicted because I so badly want to be a bad bitch and create an over the top plan but there’s such a high chance that it will flop and make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent. So I’m going to try to create my own kinda of genius that only applies to me. It sounds stupid but it’ll work. I’m being bold by saying it’ll work cus if I get eliminated I’ll look like a Doofenshmirtz. We’ll see. I’m already making charts to help me see who’s good and who’s not so good at comps. Comparing teammates to eachother and comparing the entire cast to eachother. Wish me luck. (Also I love everyone in this cast.)

So like I have so many mixed feelings about this cast. In terms of talking a lot of them are BORING or LEAVE ME ON READ, and like maybe for some it’s cause I’m not in their tribe but like, some people on my tribe still make me want to hit my head against a rock. So like that’s what I’m feeling.

Also think we’re gonna loose this immunity which I’ve hardly done anything for. So go me.

youtube

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Just a small update Mitch and I are chatting so that answers that question

"What's going on?" Well I shall tell you Anna Jane exactly what is going on. I need to get back into therapy that's what.

Apparently everyone is stressed about results and then there is me who does not care cause I want bodhi gone cause he legit doesn't talk to me so meh.

ALSO ALISSA FOUND AN IDOL QUEEEN. so we now have an idol between the 3 of us which could come in handy very much later down the road which we love! I have 100% trust in jack and alyssa now, with mo as my number 3 on this tribe. As much as i love tobi personally (hi tobi reading this post season) but like idk something is still off. he hasn't spoken much game to me at the moment so idk where his head is really at..

god help us its results this challenge was hard woo go cyrena!

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we lost by 1 point. oh my god. 1 point. that makes me wanna cry. dear god let this be a simple vote or i will actually start crying

WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE ON THE SHITTY TRIBE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THERE SOME SICK SATISFACTION OF ME ALWAYS GOING TO TRIBAL????? FUCK

I am SO pumped! I do feel bad for the people on Cyrena, but where it stands now, them going to tribal I feel is best for my game just relationship-wise for me. Still, I can only hope I am making few bonds over on their end while maintaining the ones I have on my tribe and Tuatha as well. I do really hope Mo at least makes it because he helped me this morning when I was getting bummed about all the winner talk. I'm quite optimistic for right now!

I Wrote Alexis Maxwell But I Erased It

Well we won the challenge (BARELY), a bit annoyed that we submitted before I got another chance to take a crack at the photos. I feel like I could've maybe found 1 or 2 more before we submitted. Granted we'd need to have found either 3 more or beaten Orfeo to the punch if we had wanted the reward.

I think so long as Bodhi doesn't go on Cyrena I'm pretty indifferent about them losing. They're the people I talk to the least relatively. Ideally I'd probably want an Alyssa, or Matt boot, but I have no influence so we'll see what happens.

I'm just trying to be social and relatively unimposing right now. It's Day 8, now's not the time to be doing glaringly bold things.

um so we won wooh but still no 2nd idol im sad i want one. um wanted green tribe to go tribal but blue going again i hope bodhi/jack/alyssa leave cuz they dont talk to me ever um ya thatd be cute or maybe tobi cuz hes a snake but maybe he not a snake this time? my stan list atm is jared > zach = rhys > loris = chloe > everyone else. my unstan list is: sharky jack alyssa mitch <3 um yaa hope i can do sth. chris so good gotta always watch out for him jared asked who i wanted to go to f3 with and i said def not chris and he was like oh i wanted chris in end so like hes def a threat also he likes zach so um that needs to stop real quick.

youtube

I think it should be Bodhi or Tobi to go. Am I gonna say anything? Not right now, no. Will I say something later? No clue it depends. But Bodhi isn’t as active as the others and doesn’t participate all that much. Tobi is semi-active but isn’t great at challenges. I remember him being good at challenges so idk if he’s just distracted or not putting that much energy into this. I think a swap is happening after this potentially but if it ain’t it’s still best to vote out the weakest link. It might be me and I might just be super cocky rn but I don’t think it’s me.

hi! yesterday was a monumental day. I tried to mend my social game with those I hadn’t talked much to, which resulted in me having a lengthy conversation with jack, and making me feel a bit more secure in my tribe/in the event of a swap. the people I don’t talk to keep getting voted out which I’m very much a fan of but that’s probably because they were inactive so that trend might not continue :(. also I lied in my last conf I’m now in an alliance with Chris Jared kori and Bryce? I didn’t expect it but i didn’t feel too close with kori so that should help me solidify something there!! :) I’m thriving. don’t call me ANGEL!

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don’t call me ANGEL! (in case of task challenge :p)

So we won the challenge. Again. It’s really nice to be able to just sit back and relax in the game and watch people struggle but I’m really nervous about it because we’re all so kumbaya on the Oreo tribe that I don’t fully know who I can trust just yet. Another piece of tea is the fact that Alyssa has an idol which is great for me because it shows Alyssa trusts me and I can trust her for the time being. However I’m worried about Alyssa because we keep promising each other merge which tells me she won’t want to go to the end with me just yet so I gotta keep her close and we’ll see how much damage we can do but i think I’m thriving bc I actually know where an idol is compared to last time when I had no clue.

so previously on The Adventures of a F*g, i had a small breakdown about the game. i dont know if true, but bryce informed me of an alliance between kori/jared/bryce/loris/chris, and the last two named are super close allies of mine (the closest on my tribe). they like.. didnt tell me shit about it and idk i guess i just feel excluded and it sucks that im in legit 0 (real) alliances. ive been doing good socially i thought and i dont know but i feel like i really sucked.

meanwhile, i sat down with a bag of salt and vinegar lays chips and talked to myself. why was i doing bad? why was i in 0 alliances? why no one like me?

then it hit me... like boom.

i realized that a typical flaw i had this game was caring too much. i pride myself on my ability to read situations (barring paranoia) and i know myself very well. like, i realized that since i was too concerned with doing good and proving myself, i kind of lost the fun of it all and probably come off as fake or forcible to other people. that isn't authentic.

BUT MY EPIPHANY increased even further. how? i dont know!! my brains so fucking big. i just had to be goofy. yes, i want to do good. i really do. but i played once before in this series and got RU pots and 5th. i know i am capable of being a good player and im content with that, and now that im moving into that mindset where this game wont no longer dictate whether im good or bad, im going to start having fun.

i know this isnt about game really but its like... #selfdiscovery

but ya i just wanted to update yalls on that. i won immunity though so im f18 and probs in swap. woo. finna get fucked. anyway, thank u.

and since i want like attention on this post im going to put tags.

#selfdiscovery #justgirlythings #l4l #follow4follow #gay #faggot #0alliances #disney #anime #weeb #lgbt #survivor #bigbrother #celestial

After we won the face morph challenge, it has been pretty slow. I still have a solid group with me Stephen Z and Jared. Kori and Bryce are close, Jared and I are close, Rhys and Jared are close, and Stephen and I are close. Those are the allegiances I know of right now, but things could change. Lucky for the alliance of 5, they all get to stick together. If there is a swap though, I won't hesitate to flip on bryce/rhys/kori if the opportunity presents itself. I am also kind of worried I am not keeping up socially. I have had a busy week, so my availability is limited, but I try to talk to as many people as I can when I am available. If my predicitons are correct, we should expect a swap soon. I'd love to meet up with Michael, Bodhi, Alyssa, Chloe, Drew, and Mo just to name a few. I feel like I have been able to connect well with everyone except Matt H.

So, as per my last confessional we are at tribal. And I'm conflicted. As said before I have an alliance with jack and Alyssa and they are my main 2 at the moment like love them both. We helped Alyssa find the idol and we now have a vote steal which I found. However I am feeling kinda conflicted over this vote. Jack and Alyssa want to get rid of Tobi but I personally want bodhi gone. He doesn't talk to me like at all and like he's not the best at challenges. I wanna keep Tobi as well for like a laugh because I genuinely love him. We all agreed to keep mo thank god but still, a lil conflicted. AGH. I have found a vote steal tho woo. I'm not going to be happy but I'll swallow my pride and just go with the alliance, because I'm not out here trying to make waves and be unloyal at the moment. That's for later LOL

I think there is a relatively high chance that i'm going home here, considering its 1 and a half hours till tribal and people "still haven't heard anything" so i'm assuming that i'm getting the chop here which sucks... I tried pretty hard considering i've been pretty busy and like they're not giving me much to work with here and it feels like im trying to break through a wall. I'm trying to get the target on bodhi but no one is fucking online to even try to talk to about it so i'm at a lost for what to do here... I want to stay but i just don't know how to do that when no one is talking to me... i could just be extremely paranoid and i sound delusional right now but idk something feels off here... its so annoying when I enjoy talking to other tribes more than my own NNNN like i really wish things were different but they're not so i'm just gonna try my best and see what happens

Woo we win again. Im trying to step up socially with my tribe, although who knows how long it's gonna matter bc we're prob swapping tonight. Apparently people were saying mo's name, let's pray it doesn't happen bc he's a good fucking kid.

Well it's been a slow couple of days for me. In game I can't really speak much to anything that may have happened. I feel like Tuatha has had a bit of a kumbaya casual flow going on. Which isn't necessarily bad but it makes it hard for me to know how I'm really doing.

Tobi was messaging me worried it might be him, which admittedly wouldn't be the worst thing given how we ended our last game. I was kindof an ass which I kindof leaned into after essentially throwing that game, but I still wish I'd found a way to end things better with him. While there are others I'd rather see go, his boot is one I can probably accept.

If it isn't him then oof who knows then. So long as it isn't Bodhi from that tribe. Overall I'm feeling ok, but I don't want to get complacent, it's just so early that I really don't know what to make of things. One world still isn't really helping since I'm still struggling to try and make conversation with EVERYONE. I really should consider just narrowing it down to some instead of all.

I’m sure hoping this works out for me if there is a tribe swap like a suspect, I think I’ve built some strong enough connections but without going to tribal it’s just not possible for me to be 100%

I've never been on a tribe with a winning streak I feel like I'm in the upside down hahaha. I'm having a great time and getting to know everybody and not having the stress of tribal is great. Sucks for the other tribes OOP

Nothing much is happening! I am still set up perfectly on my tribe and Bodhi has informed me that either Mo or Matt might be going. That was at the beginning of the round so it could really be anyone. I just hope it isn't Bodhi Alyssa or Mo.

Ok this past round was ok. I just kind of let us lose immunity and then we voted out Tobi. I didn’t want to vote out Tobi but that fucker voted for me so I don’t really care at all fuck him.

So not very much has changed on Tuatha as far as I can tell. My tribe winning the immunity challenge has helped me delay any confrontation between my 2 alliances which is great, as it should theoretically allow me to maintain relationships with all 6 members of the tribe. Still, it's going to keep being important to win immunity or pray for a swap in order to keep these groups from clashing.

Jared and Rhys are still a ? for me. I don't know why/how Rhys was able to convince Kori to invite Jared to the alliance of 5 instead of Mitch, and it worries me that those 2 may have a stronger bond than I immediately suspected. Hopefully I'll have an opportunity to deal with that when the time comes.

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Tobi is voted out 5-1. We swap!

#episode #shinebright

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