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kimbappykidding · 1 year ago

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Imagine overhearing your crush, Jongho, getting rudely shut down by a mean idol and deciding to do something about it.

You thought there was nothing worse in the world than watching your crush ask out another girl but you were wrong.

You'd known Jongho had a crush on Maisie even since he checked her out at an award show and the boys never let him forget it. So when you saw him heading towards her you knew what was going to happen and even though you were sad because he was asking out another girl he was your best friend so you just wanted him to be happy. You were stood on a platform near the girl and so you could hear the whole conversation. You went to move away until you heard her reply and it made you very angry indeed. "I'm sorry I'm just way too pretty for you" Maisie said and your jaw dropped. It's fine for a girl to say no to a guy but there's no reason to be rude about it. Sure if Jongho had been harassing her you'd be praising her for telling him how it is but he'd been nothing but respectful and nice to her. There was no reason for her to hurt him like this. "She did not just say that" you said and your fellow Dreamcatcher member Yoohyeon looked at you "what did she say?" but you shushed her because the conversation was carrying on. Jongho must've also been confused because she was now being even ruder. "Look I only date guys who are at least as good-looking as me and you're not so later" and she walked away. You saw she was actually smiling and felt anger surge through you "I'm going after her" you said but your members, who finally realised what was happening, knew in your current state that probably wasn't a good idea. "Y/n just wait a minute" Dami said and JiU nodded "yeah just take a moment to calm down" when Siyeon grabbed your arm "Y/n you have bigger issues, Jongho". You looked over to where he'd been and froze to see him making a beeline for the door clearly upset and rattled. "Shit" you swore "text Hongjoong and tell him I'll make sure Jongho gets home okay" and you rushed after him.

You found Jongho outside just sitting on the curb staring into space. "Jongho" you called and he looked up but didn't meet your eye. "Hey Y/n I just wanted some air" he said flatly and you nodded coming to sit beside him "okay". You'd known Jongho for 4 years now and in that time learned you just had to let him speak when he was ready. Jongho was silent for a few seconds before he sighed "you know don't you?". You paused before nodding "yeah I heard but Jongho please don't be upset, she's horrible and should be ashamed of herself". Jongho buried his head in his hands not speaking and you looked at him unsure of what to do. "Jongho?" you asked "do you want me to take you home?" and he nodded "yes please". You got him in your car and then paused. "I don't want to talk about it" Jongho said pre-empting your next question and you nodded "okay" and drove home in silence.

Once you got to Jongho's place you came inside and watched tv with him until his members came home. He was quiet all night and the guys asked what happened but he wouldn't tell them. They then asked you once he'd gone to bed and you shook your head "it's Jongho's story to tell, someone was just incredibly rude to him so he might be a little down the next few days. So just keep an eye on him and big him up as much as you can". The boys assured you they would and thanked you for being with him. "I'll always be there for Jongho" you replied and San smiled "Y/n where can I find a woman like you?" and you laughed "with that smile of yours you'll find one easily" and you said goodnight to them all before driving home. Your members were all anxious to know how Jongho was and were furious on his behalf. They didn't know exactly what Maisie said but could guess and all promised the next time they saw Jongho they'd be extra kind to him. You appreciated all their support and texted Jongho before you went to bed telling him you were here if he needed you but didn't get any reply. When you next saw Jongho he acted like that night never happened and you figured he was trying to move on so went along with it. Maisie didn't come up in your everyday conversation anyway so it was easy to pretend she never existed but there was an event looming on the horizon. The yearly Isac games. You knew Maisie’s group Porcelain was going to be there because you got a list of the attending groups a week before. You asked Jongho about the event and he didn't say much about it but you knew he was worried about seeing her again. He hadn't been at many events, especially not the socials afterwards since that night so this would be the first time he saw her. His members had worked out which group it was and which member and promised you they'd keep an eye on him. You saw Maisie enter before you saw Jongho and you tensed up watching her. She looked so happy and carefree and that bugged you. Gahyeon hugged you telling you to ignore her and you nodded taking her hand "yeah...I won't let her ruin my day" but of course she was everywhere you went. When you went to go grab a bib she was in front of you. When you were lining up on the track her group was right behind you. You kept hearing her annoying laugh, the same one she'd used when she rejected Jongho, and it bothered you insanely. So when you found out your group was facing Porcelain in a football match you were more than ready. You were competitive anyway but JiU made you promise to behave. "Don't start a fight with her or anything, not because I think you wouldn't win but more like I know you'd kick her ass and get told off" and you laughed "I would, wouldn't I?" and the girls chuckled. You were pretty good at football so were the striker and it just so happened Maisie was a defender. You sighed when you saw the position she'd been given, meaning she'd be with you all the time and Siyeon rubbed your arm "it's okay, you can beat her but just don't be excessive" and you nodded "okay". Anytime Maisie got the ball you dispossessed her and it was honestly quite cathartic but to be honest she didn't get the ball much because she acted like this was 50 years ago and screamed anytime the ball came near her. She'd then look around to see if anyone had noticed her reaction and adjust her hair telling you she wasn't really scared but was doing that annoying thing of pretending to be weak to appear more girly as if being weak had anything to do with being a woman. So you started marking other players because she was clearly no threat and you didn't want to be beside her any more than you had to be. You managed to score twice and were winning 3 - 1 when the literal golden opportunity arrived. They were playing music in the background and an Ateez song came on making you glance to where the boys were standing, cheering you in the stands. Then there was a scuffle on the pitch where one of Maisie's members pushed Handong nearly making her fall. The ball rolled away from the group of girls and directly to Maisie. She got the ball but didn't see you directly behind her. She actually giggled thinking she was in the clear and it was so perfect you smiled. You sprinted towards her and her fans started trying to warn her but it was too late. You tackled the ball from her, not even touching her, but with enough momentum, she was knocked to the floor with a child-like scream. You proceeded to the goal and shot it into the top right corner and your fans erupted into screams. Your teammates all cheered and you did a celebration dance. Maisie was furious because there was now mud on her face and she claimed you pushed her. The referee kept telling her you hadn't even touched her and that made her actually shriek. "God what a mess" Sua said and you giggled. You knew it was mean but after that, you tried to annoy Maisie as much as you could. You'd purposefully bump into her and anytime she so much as went near the ball you were there. She was clearly getting really annoyed with you and you actually heard her comment that girls like that shouldn't be allowed to play with normal girls. "If she falls on me she could literally injure me!" you heard her tell one of her members and you grinned "then maybe try and stay on your feet? Hard I know but give it a go" and you ran off. The hilarious part was she actually did try challenging you a few times too but you easily outmanoeuvred her by being faster, stronger and more skilled. You were enjoying this way too much but thankfully the whistle was called and you won. You didn't gloat too much but did cheer with your members. "Y/n you murdered her!" Handong cried and you laughed "well I guess it was just payback for Jongho" and they all nodded. "Plus revenge for knocking you down" you said to Handong who blushed and smiled. Nobody messed with the people you cared about. When you saw Ateez later the boys were similarly pleased with your performance and congratulated you. "Way to take out the trash Y/n!" Wooyoung cried and Seonghwa nodded "I thought she was actually going to try and fight you at one point". "Yeah like she'd be dumb enough to try that!" Yunho cried and you laughed thanking them all but one member was suspiciously quiet. Jongho. You figured he might just be quiet because of the circumstance but even later on when the event ended he still hadn't spoken to you. You thought this was odd so managed to find him backstage. "Hey" you said waving to him "how are you? I haven't seen you all day". Jongho nodded "fine" but didn't look up from his phone. You frowned "are you sure? You don't seem fine". "I'm fine" he repeated not coldly but firmly so you let it drop. After Isac Ateez were having a party and they invited your group and a few others. You went and noticed Jongho wasn't joining in. He claimed he was getting changed but spent nearly 2 hours in his room and when he appeared he just went outside so you followed him. "Hey" you called and Jongho nodded "hi". "So... you sure you're still okay?” you asked and Jongho just nodded. "Jongho look it's okay you're upset to see her. It's going to be awkward the first few times but it must've been great watching us beat her". Jongho sighed "yeah sure...watching your friend fight your battles feels great". You paused "what? I wasn't fighting your battle just giving her a taste of her own medicine”. Jongho shook his head "didn't look like it to me. Looked like I was too pathetic to act so you did instead". "Jongho people aren't going to think that” you argued but he shook his head "yes they are! People know we're friends and you made it so obvious you had a problem with Maisie. They can easily connect the dots". You frowned "I...well I don't think I embarrassed you. We're friends, why wouldn't I want to defend you?" you asked. Jongho sighed "but it makes me look so weak y/n!". "Why because a girl was defending you?" you asked. "No of course not! I've watched you beat Wooyoung up tons of times and cheered you on. I know you're strong and have no issues with that". "So what about me was so embarrassing?" you asked. When Jongho couldn't reply you shook your head "sorry for trying to help" you said "next time I won't so I won't humiliate you" and stormed away. Jongho watched you go and lasted 10 seconds before he rushed after you, the guilt setting in but you’s disappeared!The house was pretty full but he spotted your members and approached them. They just wordlessly pointed to the front door and he receded out of it. He thought he might have to chase after your car but he found you sitting at the bench at the end of the path. "Mind if I sit?" he asked and you shook your head. "I'm sorry" he said "you're not embarrassing. You always have my corner and I'm so grateful for that". "So what made you so upset?" you asked. Jongho sighed "I guess because you confronting her confirmed it happened. I know it did but I just pretend it didn't in public. That's why I've never confronted her, I'm too embarrassed to but you going head to head with her...I felt like it made it more real. It wasn't something I could just pretend didn't happen and that embarrassed me. I was embarrassed of myself" he clarified "for being such an idiot to think a girl like that would be into me". You shook your head "don't do that, don't put yourself down for her". "But it's true!" Jongho said "I was feeling good that night because I'd got compliments from lots of idols about the high note I reached and my body was the best I'd ever seen. I was feeling confident so I tried my luck but I overshot. No matter how good a singer I am I still don't look like Wooyoung". "Stop it" you said "I didn't kick Maisie's ass today for you to think you're not good-looking. I did it to prove to her you were. That there are people out there who disagree with her and think you're a great guy. You're strong, handsome and have a beautiful kind face any girl with a brain would want". "That's sweet but you're probably the only person who thinks that and you're my best friend so you just see me in the perfect non-sexy way friends view one another". You looked down and shook your head "guess I'm not a friend then" and Jongho looked at you "what?". "I think you're hot Jongho, I have for a while" you admitted and Jongho's eyes widened "what?". "I'm attracted to you" you admitted "which is partly why it angered me so much to hear Maisie say that stuff to you and how it affected you. I hated that it made your confidence dip because to me... you're beautiful". Jongho blushed and looked down "I had no idea...". "Yeah well it was something I kept hidden" you admitted "I wasn't going to melt anytime you walked in the room". Jongho smiled "no you're way too cool for that" making you pause and blush. "So you're telling me all this time I could've had a girl like you and I was after Maisie?" Jongho asked. You paused "I guess" and he shook his head "wow now I'm really glad she rejected me because nobodies better than you". You blushed "wait so you...". "I like you too" Jongho admitted shooting you one of his beautiful smiles "you've always showered me with care and love and I want to do the same with you. I think I can make you happy" he said placing a hand on your face making you blush even more. "I think you can too" you admitted and you both leaned forwards at once. "Hey has anyone seen Jongho?" Seonghwa asked the group assembled before him "he's not in his room". "He went after Y/n like an hour ago, is he not back yet?" Siyeon asked. "No, I hope he's okay" Yunho sighed when Sua started laughing. "What's so funny?" Hongjoong asked and the girl turned around smiling. "Neither of them got very far, look" Sua said stepping away from the window and they all rushed forwards...to see the two of you wrapped up together on the bench. Jongho had an arm around you and you were leaving against his chest. Jongho was leaning his head against yours and the two of you looked so cute. "Finally!" Wooyoung cheered and all the members laughed before gasping realising the other group knew all along too. They all began debating which one of you had fallen for the other first but you and Jongho were far away. Wrapped up with each other nothing else in the world mattered because you'd finally found each other. _____ Okay so I heard a rumour something similar to what I described at the start of this story really happened to Jongho. I'm not saying the rumour is true and I changed the idol's name to not accuse her, but the idea alone made me so sad and angry so I created this!

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thydungeongal · 5 months ago

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Hi thydungeongal! Your last post about Mercer and Mulligan left me a bit confused, cause I couldn't apply the wisdom found there to my own table I am cis-f. What should or can I do? Also we have a queer organized community in my hometown and they asked the rpg-club to run some games for them.

Do you have any pointers what a person like me should look into, for preparing a game for that community? (I am FULLY AWARE that I should talk and ask them questions, etc.) I want to avoid bringing up unsensible topics and unneccessary hurt and I feel like you can help me with that. Kind regards

Oh yeah, while my advice was targeted at cis male GMs, the same principle also applies to any tables with any cis men involved (for now). So, if your table has any cis men players you could have them draw straws on it. Or for the sake of solidarity I think it's better if they all agree to transition so no one feels left out. It's only fair.

Also I might not be the best equipped to answer that second question because while most of the games I'm involved in these days are majority queer in some way or another, I feel it's mostly just happened as a matter of "like attracts like" (and this was already happening before I realized that I was, in fact, trans) and not because I've actively sought it out if that makes sense? So it's hard for me to draw any general advice for queer tables from my experiences, besides the following:

Rolemaster is really good

Dungeon-crawling is really good

It's cool when you as a group collaborate to come up with a anime opening for your party

But specifically on the question of avoiding insensitive content and unnecessary hurt, I think to pre-empt those issues you can and should have a discussion on what sorts of topics the players would like to avoid, what the desired tone of the game is (so, like, you don't end up running Berserk when the players were expecting Slayers). But also you kind of need to be ready to accept the fact that you might accidentally and unknowingly stumble onto an uncomfortable topic with no ill intent and often the best way forward is to just address it, take it as a learning experience, and then move on.

Anyway you clearly have your heart in the right place so I'm pretty sure you'll do fine. :)

#thydungeongal answers

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sporco-filth · 1 month ago

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Loved the update for Satin Touch, or I guess Satan's Touch is probably the more appropriate term lel. Colin continues his slobbish descent/ascent (depending on your perspective), and once again I love the touches describing his home degrading alongside him. Messy clothes and garbage makes for a great living environment, and I sincerely look forward to the ever-growing sty that it'll become. Pissing in the sink is a nice display of the decreasing fucks that Colin gives, how long before he doesn't even bother with the sink and just goes wherever he is though? Based on Eric's reaction, something tells me that he's gonna be joining the more slobbish side of things. Or potentially becoming an enabler instead :3 I do wonder if Colin will receive his first ever restaurant ban once he's done eating? On the sexual side of things, I adore the gooner that Colin's turning into. Something tells me he'll turn into the type of person that'll blast porn on his phone in public, assuming he bothers going outside in the future. Pity that he couldn't stroke it in the morning due to his hunger, seems like he needs to keep some snacks in/around his bed to fix that :3 On that point, how stained did he get his couch after he ate? (from both his eating and jerking it) More importantly, did he bother showering before heading out to eat and how many people would have smelled the stale jizz on him in the process? And finally, how would Colin be able to sustain his hedonistic NEET life? Considering that I don't think he'll have a stable source of income in the future

Looking forward to the next chapter and any other stories your write as always :3

You've worked out the pun in the title, well done!

I'm not going to answer too much about 'how soon will x happen' sort of questions because that's just spoiling things. Be patient

Same goes for Eric. You'll have to wait to see what happens there.

Colin does not care anymore about any sort of hygiene, so his couch is slowly but surely accruing stains. This is really just the start though. His clothes would've been stained too if it weren't for the fact he hasn't been wearing them much at home. It's only been two days, so he doesn't yet stink too bad, but give him time. And he hasn't washed his hands after jerking off so yeah, he would have that smell on him.

(I hate that I can't tell you more but yeah I don't want to pre-empt things. I will say though that you're helping give me ideas here, so thank you!)

Luckily for Colin, he was incredibly, incredibly frugal before he got cursed and has a lot of money squirrelled away, maybe even some invested. So he'll be ok for a while yet.

There's more to a lot of these answers than I've given, but I'll leave it there

#silentsoullight's asks #my writing #slob

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fangirlingfromdownunder · 11 months ago

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A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 9

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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Leaning against the hardwood, I take a deep breath and swipe across to answer. “Hey, Superstar!” I say as the call connects.

“Merry Christmas, Darlin’. I’ve only got a few minutes before my mom starts wondering where I snuck off to, so this has to be quick-”

“I ain't giving you no quickie, Ackles!” I exclaim in a hushed voice, in mock offense.

“Come on, Darlin’. Don’t keep me hanging. Since you haven’t opened it yet I wanna hear your reaction. Please.”

“Alright. But in future, I deserve more than a quickie,” I tease.

“Of course. When I’m not hiding from family, I will give you my full, undivided attention for as long as you want,” he assures with a low chuckle.

“Good. I’ll hold you to that,” I say as I balance my phone between my ear and shoulder to free up my hands to peel off the tape. “Alright, I’m tearing off the tape now. When did you send this? Texas and New York are miles apart.”

“A few days ago, express. And to pre-empt you, no, I don’t expect anything in return. I just wanted to give you something.” I finish tearing off the tape and pull the flaps open an A4 sized envelope labeled with his management address sitting on top, I pull it out and set it to the side as I look beneath it. Obviously, hearing the rustling Jensen continues, “I’ll fight for you if you don’t want to sign that, but it will make my life so much easier if you do.”

“The NDA?” I ask.

“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t, but I trust you. I’m not gonna cut anything off or get upset if you decide not to sign. It’s mainly just in case I let anything slip about Supernatural or any other projects, I have to sign them all the time, but we’re human. Things slip with those we’re close to. So it’s more for the networks than me. I’m not that secretive about my life anyway. I’ll tell you anything about me, regardless.”

“What does this all mean, Jensen?”

“I like you, Y/N. I want to get to know you better. And eventually, maybe…if you’ll have me…”

“Jensen…I…This is a lot. But of course, I’ll sign it. I don’t wanna put you in a difficult position.”

Sensing the tension building, he attempts to lighten it, “I don’t mind difficult positions…” Before I can chastise him he continues, “Hurry up, look in the rest of the box. You can read the fine-print later.”

I oblige and reach back into the box. My fingertips run along soft fabric, I pull it up and out to reveal a stunning baby-blue summer dress with thin straps and little white baby breath flowers adorning the fabric.

“Jensen, this dress, it’s beautiful. It’s much too cold to wear it now, but I look forward to summer,” I tell him in awe. What I don’t tell him is that I had a very similar style dress when I was a little girl, and it was my favourite; I wore it until it was stained and torn and my mom secretly threw it away.

“I hope it fits, I had to take a guess. I saw it in a store in Austin and it reminded me of the shirt you were wearing under your apron that day. It’s probably not the height of fashion in New York, but I hope that one day you’ll come here and show it off in Texas. But if it’s not, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll try it on some time and let you know, but it looks like it should fit, as long as I don’t overindulge over the holidays on non-frozen meals. I can’t promise anything about Texas though…”

“One day, Darlin’. There’s no date to commit to. I know we haven’t known each other long…and infatuation or not…I just wanted you to know that I’m serious about how I feel, and about giving this…us…a shot. If you want to, too.”

“I…Jen-” I cut myself off when I hear a female voice calling out his name and telling him to come help with grilling.

He clears his throat and says, “There’s no rush. Just take your time and if you feel the same, just sign that paperwork and send it to my management team. Merry Christmas.”

“Okay, Merry Christmas, Jensen.” I sit on the bed feeling confused by his instant change of tone. If he meant what he said, why turn so professional and impassionate? After a few minutes, my thoughts are interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. “Come in!”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but dinner’s,” Stella cuts herself off when she sees the dress, paperwork and my phone in my lap, and the sad expression on my face. She comes in closing the door behind her and sits on the queen-sized bed beside me. “What happened?”

I shake my head and stuff everything back in the box. “We can talk about it later. You were saying dinner is ready? Let’s not keep poor Nick waiting, it smells like he’s cooked us something delicious.”

“Fine, but you promised details. You’d better not hold out on me!” She warns, trying to lift the tension.

I stand up and lead her back down to the dining room where Nick has set the table with an array of enticing and beautifully aromatic foods. Once I sit down, I fill my plate with sourdough, roast chicken, yam, beans, mashed potato and top it all off with gravy. It’s truly a Christmas worthy feast, even though it’s only Christmas Eve. Knowing Nick though, he’ll manage to outdo himself tomorrow, somehow. We all devour the delicious feast quietly. The tension from the call slowly dissipates and I eventually fall back into harmony with my best friend and her fiance; sharing stories about our week and plans for the upcoming wedding, all to steer clear of the topic of Jensen and our potential relationship.

Once we’re all well and truly stuffed, we all help package up the leftovers and clean the dishes. Then, with a wine glass in hand – closely monitored by Nick – Stella and I laze on the couch while he plays Legend of Zelda on the TV. We’re both content to watch him while our food digests. But after a while my well-meaning-yet-nosy best friend nudges for those promised details. I sigh, but finally concede knowing I will feel better if I talk about it.

“He’s serious about us…About giving us a shot…as a couple. He wants me to visit him in Texas…” I divulge.

Stella instantly sits up straighter and claps her hands enthusiastically. “You said you feel the same right? You’re gonna go to Texas, after the wedding of course.”

“That’s the thing…He got strange before I got the chance…”

“Strange how?”

“He’s probably just nervous about how you’ll react,” Nick adds, multitasking with perfection. “This the same guy that drunk texted you?”

“He drunk texted you!” Stella exclaims with mock offense that she didn’t know the story.

“Last time I was here, after that concert. He was as drunk as we were…He sent me messages meant for his friend. And yeah, that’s the guy. Anyway, I’m probably reading too much into it. It’s just that he told me he was serious about us and then all of a sudden he turned all professional and hung up. It was like he’s hiding something from someone…maybe me or maybe his family, I don’t know. It was just weird.”

“Maybe he is. Maybe he’s not close with his family and doesn’t want any awkward questions. He’s waiting until he knows it’s real before letting anything on to his family,” Nick offers.

“Maybe…”

“Is that what you did with us?” Stella accuses as she stares at him pointedly, despite his eyes never straying from the screen.

“No, but we also moved very fast. Not that I regret a second.”

“Good, I don’t regret a second either,” Stella says happily before leaning back on the couch. “So, what are you gonna do? You’re gonna give him a chance, right?”

“...I guess I’ll do what he said…Fill out the NDA and send it back to his management team. Let him know I’m serious too. What’s the harm in giving us a shot right? I mean, apart from ending up in the media, getting hate mail online from his fans, and ruining both our reputations…”

“Y/N, he’s not Trent or Tyler, his name doesn’t even start with a T. You gotta get out there again sometime.”

“A J is just a T with a bend at the bottom…Plus, I’m perfectly content alone.”

“You’re third-wheeling our Christmas so you don’t wallow in your apartment in self-pity. You’re lonely, I can tell. Also, it depends on how you write it, leave the cross off the top and J is a completely different letter.”

“I just don’t want to rearrange my life for a guy who doesn’t feel the same again. I’ve already set myself back so far because I fell in love with guys who didn’t give a shit about me.”

“You don’t know that Jensen is the same. To me it seems like he’s chasing you. So, I think he gives a shit. look, I’m not saying to fall blindly in love with him, I’m just saving to give it a chance. Be as cautious as you want this time, just don’t shut yourself off. Also, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself…that dress did not look fit for the winter. That means he’s not expecting a visit until summer…”

“Yeah, maybe…”

“Okay, new tactic. Tell me about him, not his celebrity life, the him you know. Start with what made you text him back that first night?”

I take a sip of wine to quiet my racing thoughts as I think as reasonably as possible back to that night. It doesn’t take long for the reasons to come rushing in. I explain how I find him attractive, but not just in a physical sense, at an emotional level too. How he’s surprisingly easy to talk to, he didn’t get mad about the hot chocolate or paparazzi, how he seemed to notice me when nobody else has in a long time, how he seems down-to-Earth, how he’s willing to open up and listen. I tell her about our call when he pulled over to comfort me when I told him about the ‘T-wads’ as we unaffectionately call them.

Once I finish rambling, she brings me back to the present. “See? That doesn’t seem like a guy that doesn’t give a shit. There’s a lot of good there to work with. He could be your one, or he may not…but you’ll never know if you break it off before it gets a chance to bloom.”

I smile and nod as I think it over, considering my options. Eventually I say, “I’ll fill out the paperwork and send it after Christmas.” Then after a few minutes of comfortable quiet with just the beautiful Legend of Zelda soundtrack filling the space, I add, “And I want to invite him as my plus one for the wedding. I don’t know how it could work logistically, but I don’t want to dance alone…”

“There’s still Travis…you’ll have to dance with him once anyway since he’s my bestman…” Nick states matter-of-factly.

“What part of the ‘T-wads’ did you not understand? She’s not dating anymore guys whose name starts with that letter!” Stella retorts.

“She still has to dance with him though, even if it is just one dance…” He retorts with a shrug.

“Don’t worry, I’ll play my part as the maid-of-honor. I’ll do the formal dance, but after that…” I’m cut off by my phone buzzing. Hope bubbles up at the prospect of Jensen calling back to explain his off-behaviour but when I check the screen slight disappointment sets in; it’s my mother. I quickly brush off the disappointment and answer cheerfully.

“Hi Mom, Merry Christmas Eve!”

“Hi Honey, Merry Christmas Eve to you as well, although it would have been more merry if you had’ve come home.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but I told you, I have to help Stell with her wedding. A trip to Houston just isn’t in the cards right now.”

“You can’t avoid us forever you know? I really thought you would come back home after everything with Tyler.”

“Can we really just not talk about him right now, please? Anyway, I’ve made a life here. My best friend is here, my work is here and I told you I’m working on auditions and taking classes.”

“Not over Christmas you’re not.”

“No, not over Christmas. But I’m wedding planning at the moment.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop pestering. I am proud of you, you know? Making it on your own out there in the big smoke…Just hold on, your dad wants to say hello too,.” the line goes silent for a second and then my dad’s booming voice forces me to pull my phone away from my ear.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetie. We miss you. I made your favourite Christmas mince pie in your honor.”

“Awe, dad. I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

After painstaking explaining how to put the call on speaker, I chat to both of my parents for a few minutes. I tell them little snippets of my life in New York recently and that part of me does miss the warmth of Texas. As we talk, I’m careful to leave out any details that include Jensen, not wanting them to get over excited before I know if anything will come of it. I remember how overjoyed my mother was when I first brought Tyler home – “a good Texan boy” she said – so I know that she would be excited about Jensen too if she knew. I then understand Jensen’s off behavior and change of tone.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never

#jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles #supernatural imagine #supernatural fic

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botgal · 9 months ago

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God im so done goverments are trying to censor everyone on the internet across the world i don't understand how they have this much power and all just to sell our fucking data and get more money. They are lying to grieving parents and claiming they are protecting kids no the fuck you are not. And California bills. Their also planning on talking about banning tiktok again this monday i just want all of this to end im so done why is our are government fucking with everyone around the world like i don't get why they want to control us so badly and feed whatever propaganda they can.

I know we still should not give up that's what they want but im tired of worrying over everyones rights being taken away genociding happening in other countries. I hate that are governments claim they care just to spread their fascism/propaganda/being dictators. I know it's not grieving parents fault at the end of the day but i read an article about parents trying to push this bill to pass besides some old fucking fossils who should be under the grave. Like how can these parents trust these governments when time and time again they are just fucking us over how can they can realize kosa is not a good bil it also harms them it harms everyone in the end.

What i also don't get how are people not worried over kosa passing i know it's just a committee so not an actual vote yet people should still be calling. But people were making a big deal about kosa last year now people don't care at all anymore people are going to start panicking when it's too late always ends up happening. I'm just calling trying to manifest trying to keep positive about the whole ordeal just very tired....

Yeah, I won't lie to you. Shit sucks right now in a lot of ways. The government has never been your friend and all the rich people on earth just want to get richer with no regard for the people they tread on to get there. They all prey on vulnerable people by telling them what they're doing will help them or bring them closure or even just give them something to lash out at because that's what they do. They just keep taking and taking and want all humans to be nothing but working cogs.

People are worried, plenty I've seen. And it's up to us to spread these things so More people are worried and do something about it before they also lose something important. I'm one of the most evasive people when it comes to stress but even I know how to make myself buckle down when it counts. And now is when it certainly counts.

We have things we can do to pre-empt future harms as well as fight in the present. Pay attention to your state elected officials at both state and federal levels, see what their platforms are on certain ideas and either stand behind them or push them to see the light. *Senator Marsha Blackburn, one of the Senators behind KOSA and a blatant transphobe, is up for re-election this year, hint hint* We need to get as many good people in office as possible to keep anything like this from happening again. Push that blue wave so we can deal with people who might be semi reasonable.

We have the courts, we have people willing to stand for our rights. And even after any bills pass, we can always push back as long as we're here.

I understand being tired. We all are. But as long as they won't let it rest, neither must we. But I hope you will take care of yourself regardless.

#kosa #california #online privacy #online safety #bad internet bills

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clowndotgay · 2 years ago

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Want to know more about Claydolls! AU.

i got a really big (evil) smile on my face when i saw this ask. this is my first AU and thus i have never posted about an AU and do not know how to , really , so i am just going to dump some information

(by the way, "claydolls" was a temporary name two weeks ago, but it seems like its sticking. i stole the name from something else i'm really into. if you recognize what its from you get nine thousand million hundred trillion and thirty six thousand and fifty three cents in dollars.)

claydolls is largely the same as toontown: corporate clash but with a lot of headcanons inserted. it started with a couple headcanons that i felt too weird about having just as headcanons because they're so wildly out there and once i accepted that i can just make stuff not canon compliant it got kinda wild? but, y'know, it's cogs and toons fighting. they're not working at a coffee shop or something.

it revolves around a handful of toons (and cogs) that have an interest in the mechanics of life & the mechanics of death, and the other people that get wrapped up in such interests. it sounds edgier than it is but also its mine so i'm free to be cringe if i want to. a lot of the story is just tropes from other stuff that i love that doesn't conventionally fit into toontown anyways!

but uh, here's characters! the ones that aren't already from the canon!

pre-empting any questions about roxy being 114, toons average life expectancy is solidly past that. he's old, but not that old for a toon!

if you sent this ask because you were curious about what's going on with brian and misty specifically, i can say that the last time brian has been seen by any resistance ranger or c.o.g.s inc employee was early december 113, and the current year is late-august 114. more about that soon i think!!

(yeah, the calendar does operate relative to when cap'n roxy was born, but that's just because it's easy to think about for me this way. i didn't want to make up a random number, because the real actual start point in a whole timeline would be WAY too far back to bother)

i'm gonna post more timeline stuff and stuff with other characters & whatnot when i have the energy to do so! if there is anything u are curious about send an ask!!! i hope i'm able to write/draw/post more about Grin n Roxy, because they're very dear 2 me ! :)

sorry if this post was kind of barebones, but i can't say much until i actually bother to introduce the characters that matter! this was a text wall anyways what am i even apologizing for???? i'm gonna go write up another post introducing two cogs i made very recently...

#ttcc #toontown #claydolls flowergrin #claydolls roxy #me.txt #cdg art #toontown au #claydolls au

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gay-for-the-snz · 8 months ago

Text

Day 7: Borrowed Hoodie (F, cold, induced)

@sicklyfruit was so generous as to let me borrow Sasha again, so he has been requisitioned for more snzfucker shenanigans :3c

Mild nsfw (they're in between fucking), induced, intentional contagion, Florence's general nastiness towards other human beings. 2.1k

⁂

She's lounged on his bed in nothing but the bathrobe she stole out of his closet, still sweaty in a way she can't blame entirely on the way they put eachother through their paces. She slowly exhales the smoke from her cigarette, her legs stretched across his lap. "Hey."

"What?"

At some point he'd grabbed a pair of boxers, leaving them both at least semi-clothed. "Go get me water."

"You've got legs, go get it yourself."

She huffs, leans harder against him. "Why are you such a bitch? Don't you know how to treat a lady?"

"If you wanna be treated nicely, maybe you should do something to deserve it."

"I am very deserving of it. I treat you well. Better than you deserve, even."

"Yeah, okay."

"I am a highly generous woman."

"Name one thing you've ever given me."

She looks him directly in the eyes, rolls over to straddle him and loop her arms around his neck. "This cold."

She knows she's hit her mark, because he doesn't even respond for a second, just stares at her in surprise--and something else. "What?"

"Oh yeah."

"You didn't say you were sick."

She leans in to whisper in his ear. "My little surprise for you to enjoy. It hasn't hit yet, just a little sniffly and throat sore, but it will. And then it'll hit you, too."

"You're lying."

"You think I would lie to you?" He snorts in response, so she pre-empts his actual reply with a sniffle that's barely liquidy at the edges--but is liquid nonetheless. "This is all yours in a couple of days."

"You're such a bitch." He doesn't seem mad at all, though--and she knows he isn't. She can see the flush on his cheeks, the fact that he's already grabbing the collar of the robe to pull it open and kiss her shoulder. "How do I know I've caught it? We might not've guaranteed it."

"Oh? You don't think I did a good enough job the first time?"

"It would be a shame to make me a promise like this that you couldn't keep."

"Then I guess you should beg, because I was already generous the first time. Why should I give you another chance?"

"I'd never beg. I'll just command you."

She laughs, pushes him down against the bed. "Why would I ever respect your authority?"

He whines. "What will it take, then?"

"I'll be good to you, just this once." She lets her fingers brush through his curls, not quite as wild as her own but threatening to encroach on his face nonetheless. "If you want this cold, you'll have to work for it."

"What do you have in mind?" He already knows what she's implying, reaching back on the nightstand to grab the box of tissues, and rolls one into a tight point.

"You've got a beautiful opportunity here--you've just got to take it."

It's more of a challenge than it is for him--she swears she just thinks too hard about touching his nose and it has him sneezing, those desperate, fittish things that tumble out of him like they're stacked on top of one another. Her nose is more temperamental, requiring a lot more coaxing and effort to actually make any real difference.

"Switch me positions."

"No. I wanna be over you."

He doesn't fight her on it at all, just cups her cheek in one hand to hold her steady as he carefully brings to tissue to her nose. She scrunches it in discomfort, the feeling not really ticklish so much as annoying.

"Stop moving."

"It's not my fault you're not doing a good job."

She tries to hold still nonetheless, closing her eyes to focus solely on the sensation of the point carefully worming its way deeper into her nose, trying to find the spot that will actually produce some results here.

"You know Elliott gave this to me."

"Fuck, yeah. He looked horrible when I saw him last week."

"You know he's never been good at keeping anything to himself. He--hh-!--ugh, fuck--he was so apologetic about it, but I don't know how sorry he can really be if he's never any better about it."

"Stop moving, you're making this more difficult."

She begrudgingly acquiesces, letting him hold her face more steadily. She takes a shaky gasp when the tissue prods deeply into the back of her nose, and it heaves her (meager) chest with the effort of a false start that goes nowhere. She scrunches her nose hard in response, trying to do something to actually make it do something in there.

"Your nose is such a fucking drama queen." He huffs when he twists a new corner into a point, the previous one now too sodden to really do anything of consequence.

"Yeah, well--snf!--you're in direct control of the amount of my cold you're getting here. I'm not kissing you just to give it to you--you've gotta tease it out, or you're not getting anything."

She pushes his hands away just long enough to pull her hair back into a ponytail, to keep the curls out of her face so he can have clear access--and so it stops distracting her from the potential sneeze.

The tissue reacquaints itself with the back of her nose, and she lets her jaw fall slack as the feeling mounts. "Hh...hh-! ...ugh." She sniffs again, but he's got enough sense this time not to move the tissue away. He's lamented, before, that he would prefer to use something like a clothes tag so that it doesn't get too wet and limp to actually be of any use. But, unfortunately for them both, it's never been as good at actually teasing something out the way the tissues are.

He finally seems to be on the right track--and his efforts are rewarded, even minimally as it is. "Hh-! 'chu!" It's a soft and breathy thing, but it's more than she usually gets. He knows he's got her in the right space if he can keep going, and doesn't pause to give it a chance to start dying out.

"Hh...h-hH! 'chu!" Ugh, fuck. It scratches that itch a little, but her nose is buzzing now with the need to sneeze, and he's hardly doing a thing about it. It SUCKS how hard her nose makes her fight for it, but unless he wants to drag her sorry ass down to the local pool in the fall when it's closed, or pay to go to whichever local gym's got one, he's stuck with trying to induce it himself if he wants any results.

Her brows pinch together when he manages to jab at some spot that draws an involuntary gasp and a snarl of irritation at the feeling. "Hh'CHyuu! Hih'GSchyu!"

She doesn't open her eyes, but she can feel that he's clearly enjoying this by the way he squirms a little underneath her, her palms flat against the mattress on either side of his head and practically locking him in place.

She can imagine the view he's got--she's induced in front of a mirror before for him and for Rhoda. The flare of pretty pink nostrils, damp from the way her nose is being teased. The way she wrinkles it against the feeling, making the tip scrunch from side to side with the effort. The way the freckles that adorn it are slowly getting more difficult to see, blending into the pink that's creeping into it the longer he's at this.

And him, laying beneath her and taking the brunt of it all. He occasionally makes a show of complaining, if only because Sasha is incapable of doing anything without complaining. She knows if she offered to swap the positions around some, he'd adamantly refuse. He wants to be here, he just also wants to piss and moan like a little bitch.

"Hh-! ...ugh! Can't you do anything right?"

"It's not my fucking fault that the only thing that works for you doesn't last long."

"Yeah, well, neither do you, so I guess you've got something in common with that tissue: wet and useless."

He scoffs, but when she cracks her eyes open halfway she can see how hard he's blushing as he rolls another corner into a point.

Clearly he's feeling like a brat, because he takes his sweet time actually negotiating the point back to where it was starting to do some damage, leaving her in hitchy, miserable limbo of false starts and an itch that's actually getting uncomfortable without any relief.

"What are you doing, taking your pet tissue for a walk? Do something."

"Oh, I'm sorry, you know how I am. Useless. I'm trying but, you know me: can't do anything right!"

She braces herself on one hand, using the other to grab Sasha's wrist like a vise and forces it back into position--

" 'GSChyuu! Hh--hH'GSSHhyue!"

She can feel the spray on her hand, and grimaces as she wipes it off on his boxers.

"Toy with me again and I'll just go do this in the bathroom without you. Do I make myself clear?"

Those dark eyes are locked on hers when she leans down so they're practically nose to nose. "Yes, sir."

She sniffs sharply. "Then get to it before I change my mind and my patience and generosity to share run out. I haven't got all day."

It's a lie, of course. She doesn't have anything going on all day--and they both know she's going to be spending it with him, no matter his behavior right now. But the posturing is all a part of the game.

"God, you're so hot like this."

Her voice falters as she feels him honing back in on that sweet spot. "I'm always hot."

"Shut up."

It actually earns a whine from her when he finds his mark, so tantalizingly close to making her sneeze. She can't do anything else but to hitch, and she hates how precious and girlish it comes out. She's hardly a delicate or girly person--she's a woman, sure, but not a girl in any meaningful way--and certainly not a lady. It's embarrassing that this aspect of her is so infuriatingly delicate in comparison to the rest of her.

So perhaps she's overcompensating when she rarely bothers to cover, when she refuses to stifle it in any way--after all, she always has to work damn hard for it to happen in the first place--when she swipes a hand beneath blushed nostrils as if she dares anyone to challenge her on it.

" 'GSCHyue! Hh'GSCHyue!" She freezes, hanging on the precipice of a third, and she's absolutely not letting this one get away from her, not when she's so close to meaningfully scratching that itch. She makes a grab for his hand again, but he's quick enough to catch her drift before she actually makes contact with him. He shoves the tissue in further, and she curls in on herself with it before she can do anything else. "HihGSSHhyue! 'GSCHue! Hh-! HH-! Hih'GZZHhyue!"

She whines as she pushes his hand away, the bedraggled tissue still clutched so hard his knuckles are whitened from it, and goes to paw at her nose. It makes that gross, wet clicking sound as she rubs hard at it, abusing her skin with how roughly she's scrubbing back and forth, and sits up, still straddling his waist.

"Oh my God...bless you..."

It leaves a dark streak on the sleeve of his robe where she uses it to mop up the trickle of thin liquid. "Fuck off."

He doesn't, he just takes hold of the open collar of the robe and pulls her closer by it, practically tries to climb under her skin with how hungry he is when he kisses her. She pulls away just to try and take a breath, the congestion settling in enough to make it difficult to balance breathing and Sasha's apparent approval over their little performance.

"Are you satisfied you're catching this now?"

He's already shrugging the robe off of her shoulders, his teeth ghosting over the skin it bares as the fabric falls away. "I can think of ways we can guarantee it."

She runs her fingers over the scars that across his chest, the robe pooled around her elbows like some luxurious evening wrap instead of some cheap thing he got off a Target clearance rack. "Get me another tissue, then. I'm still itchy, and you're not allowed to start a job without finishing it."

He's grinning like a fool as he grabs the box off his nightstand. "Yes, sir."

#they suck so bad. I'm so in love with them and what they've got going on #also everybody say ty to sicklyfruit for letting me borrow Sasha!!!#what a great prompt to be the halfway point in this challenge :3 #sickfic #snzfic #snz #sicktember 2024

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chaotic-super · 2 years ago

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Live With Me - Chapter 11

Read Live With Me on AO3 here!

Kara won’t say she’s uncomfortable, she’ll just say she’s not comfortable.

In some weird move that Kara hasn’t figured out the meaning of yet, Cat has decided to have an extra desk moved into Kara’s office. This has made the space even more cramped and there’s barely any space to move.

The desks have been placed so they are facing each other and the door is off to the side of them but the desks are pushed more to one side so Cat still has enough space to move her chair properly while Kara has to shimmy her way into her chair because of the lack of space, not even able to fully pull it out.

It’s kind of awkward. Cat has pretty much moved in here with her and it’s strange. Kara has worked closely with her for years but even when she was just a mere assistant, her desk was outside of the office, not inside, so they hardly ever worked in the same room apart from when Cat had her doing specific tasks with her so the sudden influx of time they are spending with each other is just odd.

“Did you manage to get any more information on—”

“Daniel Green? Yeah, here’s the file.” If there’s anything that can get her through this though, it’s her knowledge of Cat and her reporting process. She might not know the reasons Cat does anything but when it comes to reporting, she knows every article Cat has ever written and she knows very well, what her process for writing an article is so she’s been able to keep the flow going by pre-empting what Cat will want before she’s even got there and having it ready and waiting so they can get this article done and then maybe, just maybe, Cat will move back to her own office.

Well, that plan is not going to fly.

“Kara. Stop it.”

“Stop what?” Kara flinches when Cat slams down the file Kara just handed to her. “Stop giving me the things I need for the article. You need to be working on getting the information for your parts of the article, not doing my work for me. I understand that this isn’t the best situation, believe me, I’d rather be anywhere other than in your office, which is smaller than a shoebox but we need to work on this in private and we can’t do that in my office when the walls are made of glass. We certainly can’t do it out in the open when we’ve already had one staff member working with the enemy.”

Kara stares at her, her eyes wide and her mouth gaping open. She has no idea how to respond to that.

“We’re working together on this article. You’re not working for me in this situation, this is probably the only chance you’re going to have to call me your partner in this. Take the opportunity before I start calling you Kiera again.”

“Yes, Ms Grant. I’ll stop gathering your information for you.”

“I’m going to regret asking you to do that when I have to do it myself but it’s for the best. It’s time to put your big girl pants on Kara. This is real reporting.”

Kara clears her throat awkwardly. “I already got your next six files ready. Do you want them?”

If Cat is surprised, she doesn’t show it. “Yes, but that’s it, no more.”

“Right yes, of course.” Kara nods, then hesitates. “I have a half-finished one, do you want that?”

Cat slips her glasses off of her nose and drops her head into her hands. “This arrangement is going to be worse for me than it is for you. I can see that now. Give me everything you have that is for my portion of the article and then just focus on your own. If I need something from you, I’ll ask.”

“Got it.” Kara rifles through the papers on her desk and finds all of the ones that aren’t for the things she’s directly working on and then hands them over. Kara stares at the papers for the part of the article she was working on before she got distracted working on the part Cat is handling.

She fishes out the list of all of the people they know are involved and starts working through all of the ones that are involved under the command of a supervisor, mostly the people working under General Lane. She’s got some dirt to dig up and she knows it’s going to either be super hard because they’re being protected or it’s going to be easy because they’re nothing but scapegoats to the government, something she’ll be calling them out for in the article if that happens to be the truth.

There are a couple of names highlighted and she sees that they are the ones that were seen on the cameras in the storage locker, the ones that tried and failed to destroy said camera to destroy the evidence of government involvement.

She pulls out the folder Lena got from her private investigator, or rather, her ex-private investigator since he quit after finding out the government is involved in what’s going on.

With the information in front of her, she starts her research, burying her head into it because, between her and the people she’s researching, it’s personal. They had a hand in her losing everything so now, she’s going to make sure they get what they deserve and she’s going to do it by exposing every dirty little secret they have.

Lena strolls into CatCo, her fancy heels clicking against the floor in an expensive rhythm as she makes her way up to Kara’s office, excited to spend some time with her over lunch. She’s got a couple of sandwiches in her purse they made this morning with their shoulders brushing. They figure it is about time they stop buying so much food and start making more for themselves so they’re a bit healthier but Lena accidentally ended up with both sandwiches so she’s very kindly bringing Kara’s to her and is planning on spending a few minutes with her girlfriend while she’s doing it.

She passes Winn’s desk, waving at him as she goes but his voice calls out to her just after she’s taken a couple of steps away from the desk.

“Hey, Lena?”

Turning back to him, she steps closer. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering how Kara’s been doing since the whole James thing? I haven’t really had much of a chance to speak to her and I didn’t want to reach out and crowd her.” Winn starts fiddling with a little figurine on his desk as he speaks, barely holding eye contact with her.

Lena feels a little bad. She’s been taking so much of Kara’s time up recently on top of everything else they have been dealing with so there’s been no time for Kara to stay in touch with her other friends and that’s not right. Lena won’t let that happen though, especially because this is Winn, Kara’s best friend before she came onto the scene. Winn probably had the toughest time of anyone with what James did, he was the one closest to him.

“She’s been handling it the best she can but you know, things are still happening. I think it would be a good thing if you do reach out though, Winn, I think she’d really appreciate that.”

“You think so?”

Lena nods firmly, “I do. In fact, why don’t we have a game night at my place this Friday?”

Winn’s face lights up. “It has been far too long since we’ve had a game night, that would be awesome, and I’ll finally get to see the new place you guys have been hiding from me!”

Lena can’t help but smile at the overexcited way she can see him planning the night in his head. “Would you mind gathering the troops and letting them know? Maybe we can surprise Kara with it that way.”

Lena never knew a person could look so excited as in this moment. “I’ve got it all covered; don’t you worry. All you have to do is unlock the door and I’ll have everything sorted, food, drinks, entertainment, the works.”

“Sounds good. Now, I better run, I have Kara’s lunch and I think her stomach might start eating itself if I don’t go feed her.”

“You better run. I’ll see you Friday.”

“See you Friday.” Lena parrots and makes her way over to where she knows Kara’s office is. She’s kind of surprised Kara decided to keep the office that once got broken into but it’s also a perk that came with her finally getting promoted from an assistant to a reporter and it’s a big deal for her, even if it is just a tiny room with a door and no windows.

The door is closed when she gets there, which is odd, the door is hardly ever closed. It sets a feeling of dread and anxiety swirling in her stomach as she knocks on the door.

When she hears a voice that isn’t her girlfriend’s beckon her inside, her eyebrows furrow and her heart rate increases with the anxiety she’s suddenly feeling. Is this no longer Kara’s office? Is that why the door is closed? There’s only one way to find out.

With a hesitant movement, she twists the doorknob and opens the door. She has to bite back a laugh when she sees what’s inside.

Never in the history of their relationship has Lena ever seen Kara looking so miserable and that’s really saying something considering everything they have been through. Cat is sitting at the desk opposite her, looking prim and proper despite the crowded, messy environment.

“Hey, Lena.” Kara greets her, looking slightly less uncomfortable now that her girlfriend is here. “I wasn’t expecting you to drop by today.”

Lena finishes into her bag. “I accidentally ended up with both of our lunches. I figured that since I had some time I could bring it to you. I wasn’t expecting you to have gotten a roomie though.”

“Ms Luthor, I am here for privacy purposes so I suggest you keep your taunts to yourself unless you want L-Corp to have bad press for the rest of your time as acting CEO.” Cat doesn’t even look up from her laptop to look at her.

Lena’s mouth hangs open for a second before snapping shut. “Um, ok. Kara, do you have time for lunch or shall I leave you to it?”

Kara looks anxiously between her laptop screen and Ms Grant, unsure if she should accept the invitation or not.

“For God’s sake, please take her, her breathing is annoying me.” Cat answers for her. “You can use the balcony from my office but if you touch anything in there, I’ll know so don’t even try it.”

Lena and Kara share a look. Why would they be touching anything in her office?

“Thank you, Ms Grant. I’ll be back soon.” Kara shimmies her way out of her chair with a little bit of difficulty, her stomach pressing against the desk uncomfortably. “Do you want me to grab you anything while I’m gone?”

“Get Ms Tessmacher to order me lunch, some kind of salad, any kind, just make sure it has a cheeseburger on top.” Cat rolls her eyes as the desk shifts from Kara forcing her way free.

“You got it,” Kara says, ushering Lena out of the door and closing it behind them. As soon as she’s free of the room, she’s immediately letting out a puff of relief. “I’ve never been so glad to see your face. I need a break.”

Lena chuckles at her, hooking her arm around Kara’s and leaning into her side. “You have my commiserations. I don’t think I would be too happy sharing an office with the almighty Cat Grant, even less so when the office is as small as yours. I’m genuinely impressed that two desks even fit in there.”

“Honestly, me too. I wasn’t too happy when she barged in this morning and ordered me to get up so the desks could be arranged but it makes sense, we already had one person steal our information, so it’s safer for us both to be in my office where nobody can get our files and we can’t do it in hers because of the windows.”

“Surely there are other rooms available though.”

“There’s an empty office upstairs Winn, James and I used to use to hang out on company time back in the day but it’s been under construction for years, and by ‘under construction’, I mean it’s got one wall that has a couple of wires exposed that needs plastering.” Kara shakes her head. “It’s a waste of a good office if you ask me but it’s been on the maintenance list for a long time.”

Lena hums. “Does it have a window?”

“Several. Why?”

Lena shrugs, trying not to act suspicious, something she isn’t very good at.

“Lena Luthor, you tell me what you’re scheming at right now.” Kara unhooks her arm from Lena’s and folds them, holding her stare onto the side of Lena’s face until she caves.

Lena tries her best not to react but if she holds out much longer, she’s likely to be banned from cuddling with Kara tonight and she really doesn’t want to risk it. “Um, I was just thinking about offering to get it fixed so maybe you could have it as your office. Clearly, it isn’t that important of a room if it’s been sat empty for so long and it would give you and Cat much more space to work on the article.”

They finally make it out onto the balcony after a quick chat with Eve, Cat’s new assistant, who is sitting at Kara’s old desk. Lena pulls their lunches out of her bag. They sit down on the furniture out there and Kara digs into her sandwich, her cheeks now flushed from the offer. She isn’t sure if she’s grateful or embarrassed.

“I don’t think it would go down too well with my co-workers if my girlfriend is buying me office upgrades and such. That being said, I suppose it wouldn’t be as bad if I was to buy myself the upgrade by offering to fix it.”

Lena smiles, delighted that her idea is playing out, even just in a theoretical way at the minute. “Yeah, and then I send you the money to—”

“Lena, you’re not paying for this.”

“But—”

“Lena. I do have my own money, you know? Even more since I stopped paying rent, although I still want to pay some towards the house.” Kara looks unamused by Lena’s insistence to pay for everything. She loves her but damn if she doesn’t make it hard work just to open her own wallet from time to time.

She gets it, she really does. If she had money like Lena does, so much she can’t even comprehend it, she’d want to treat the people she loves too but she’s got to be very careful because accepting it is a fast-track way to her losing her financial independence and to end up taking advantage of Lena’s kindness. She has to keep her own responsibilities.

Lena takes a bite of her sandwich and chews, lost in thought in an instant. “Why do you want to pay for the house? It’s in both of our names anyway.”

“It’s our home. I want to work for it and I don’t like that you paid for the entire thing when it’s ours. I want it to truly be ours.”

“You don’t feel like it’s already ours?” Lena looks sad but confused, like she’s genuinely trying to understand but not quite grasping the truth. It’s understandable really, she’s grown up with money, and she hasn’t lived the same experiences as Kara has, not by a long shot.

Kara looks out over the balcony, trying to find a diplomatic way of explaining things that will help get her point across. “It feels like it’s a home for both of us but it doesn’t feel like it belongs to both of us.”

“You’ve lost me,” Lena admits.

“I’ve worked for pretty much everything I have, that’s how I class things as mine. I work for it, I save up, and I buy it. That’s how I’ve always lived. To have something as big as a house in my possession without paying for it, it throws me off and it feels like I’ve somehow cheated the system. I need to pay something towards it, a portion that makes me feel like I’ve worked for it.”

Lena nods slowly, a movement that shows she’s trying to understand, trying to come up with a solution that will benefit both of them. “I think I get it. It’s just hard for me to think about you working so hard for something you don’t have to. I get you want it to be equal but it’s not because the cost of half of that house is pocket change to me while it’s a lot for you. It would make much more sense to split it in terms of income. We can go off of my salary rather than company profits and family money. It will mean I still pay a good chunk more because I make more but it will be fair. Will that work?”

“Can we go over the numbers and then decide?” Kara gets what Lena is doing. She knows that she’s trying to make it so while Kara will pay, it will be as little an amount as possible.

“We can but I want it to be fair, Kara. I didn’t work for a lot of the things I have, I know that, but income-wise, we have to be fair to each other. I take on a greater burden financially because I can, I like to think you take on a lot of the burden with common sense.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “I think Alex would disagree with you there.”

Lena snorts. “Probably.” She finishes up her sandwich and rolls the foil into a ball. “So, you’ll think about it.”

“I will. I suppose it does make sense. I just don’t want you to ever think I’m with you for your money. You’re worth so much more than that.”

“I have never thought that and I never will, darling. You’ve more than proven that with the years of friendship. If you were after my money, you would have made a move on me years ago.”

Kara’s lips quirk up at that. “That’s true. I’ll give you that.”

Lena smiles back at her, pleased with herself that she managed to get Kara to crack a smile. “We can work it all out, don’t worry. But I do think it would be a great investment to see if you can negotiate for that office.”

Kara nods slightly. “Alright. I’ll speak to Cat about it when I head back. I can probably get away with another fifteen minutes if you have time.”

“Anything for you.” Lena gets up from her chair and moves to lean on the balcony railing, covering Kara’s hand with her own when she comes to stand next to her.

Kara leans into her a little and rests her head on her shoulder while looking out over the city. Lena’s head moves to rest against Kara’s and rather than thinking about the city and the beauty of it, she’s just thinking about how lucky she is to be here with Kara, especially after so many years of pining and wishing she could be more than friends with her.

“Are you busy at work?” Kara asks after a beautiful few moments, her head nuzzling further into Lena’s fur-collared coat.

Lena shakes her head against Kara’s. “No, not really. Sam has been covering a lot of the day-to-day operations since we officially took over Lord Industries so I can go through all of the patents and submit them for our own projects but I’ve got people to do that too so I’ve been working on our new security system. I’ve got the prototype finished and I’m going to finish it up later on and test it. After that I can fix any bugs or issues with it and with a little luck, we could have a basic version of it in the house by this time next week.”

“I never get tired of finding your brain sexy. You should talk about science and inventions more often.” Kara smiles, refusing to move her head from the warm nest she’s found.

“Hmm, you’ll find it even sexier when I eventually replace the basic version with fancier, newer models as I develop the technology then, won’t you?” Lena smirks, her arm snaking around Kara’s waist and holding her close, almost possessively.

Kara’s tone turns a little deeper, “I might just have to show you tonight just how sexy I find it.”

“I certainly wouldn’t mind the clarification, my love.”

“Mm, today is going to go even slower now.” Kara huffs a tad. “I think I want this second article to be done even quicker than the first just so I can stop sharing an office with Ms Grant.”

Lena chuckles, unable to hide her enjoyment at the fact that Kara has got to spend so much time with the city’s top media mogul. She definitely would not find it anywhere near as funny if she was the one having to room with her, that’s for sure. “Talk to her about the office. I know a guy that could get that fixed tomorrow if she approves and you can be in there soon enough.”

“I might take you up on that. Fingers crossed she says yes.”

“I hope so, if only so we have a better room to make out in during your lunch breaks when you don’t have someone in there with you.”

“Lena!” Kara laughs, her head finally shooting up from Lena’s shoulder so she can cover her rapidly reddening cheeks with her hands. “You can’t say that!”

Lena acts purposely confused but the wry smile on her face gives her away. “What do you mean? Don’t you want me to tell the truth?”

“Stop,” Kara giggles, bumping Lena’s hip with her own. “Someone might overhear.”

“Alright, alright. I better get you back to Cat before she comes searching for you.” Lena announces as soon as their laughter dies down.

Kara groans but agrees. “Give me a kiss before you go. I am not about to kiss in front of Ms Grant. That would be kind of like if I were to kiss in front of Eliza.”

Lena doesn’t need an explanation to kiss Kara and she leans in, pressing several chaste kisses against her lips. “I’ll walk you back to your office.”

A week later and Kara is still trapped in a room with Cat but this time, she’s a lot happier than she was a week previous because now, she can actually stand up from her chair without winding herself against the desk’s edge.

Cat was more open to the idea of the office swap than she thought she would be although she’s fairly certain that’s just because she offered to pay for it herself because it turns out the work in there was pricier than she imagined it would be and that’s probably the reason it has been sat empty for so long.

On top of the plasterwork, she ended up paying for a whole bunch of electrical work because none of the lights work and the window latch was broken too so she had to pay for that. That all meant she’s had to wait a little while for it all to be done but when Cat walked into the new office this morning with a faint smile and a nod, she knew it was worth it simply because it means she won’t have to deal with an overly cranky Cat telling her to chew more gum after lunch because she could apparently smell the lunch meat on her breath after she ate.

Now though, there’s a good distance between their desks and while Cat had taken the one right next to the window, there’s still plenty of light coming in so she doesn’t feel like she’s sitting in a coffin anymore.

Just to sweeten the pot though, Kara’s got a good mood that matches Cat’s because ever since Friday, when she got an incredible surprise about the revival of game night, she’s been in excellent spirits. It’s been way too long since she’s had the chance to catch up with Winn and Nia. They have, unfortunately, drifted apart since everything that happened because she’s been so focused on everything else that’s happened and because she wasn’t sure Winn would be receptive to her after she exposed his best friend as an asshole.

Her worries were unfounded though because the second she opened the door to Winn, he wrapped his arms around her in the tightest hug he could manage and told her how much he missed her. It was exactly what she needed to hear.

They spend several hours playing a multitude of games as a group of seven, Kara, Lena, Alex, Kelly, Winn, Nia and Brainy, Nia’s boyfriend. With so many people there, it made it a lot easier for them to take their minds off of the person that will never be at one of these nights again.

They left a few hours later with the plan to make sure they have a game night at least once a month, something they are all on board with and once Kara loved the feeling of hosting game night with Lena in their house because now it is their house.

Lena finally managed to get her to agree to work out how much she should pay towards the house based on her income. It’s not as much as she would have preferred to pay but she has at least put some money into it and that alone makes her feel much better about it, like they are actually on a much more even standing regarding decisions on the house itself.

Today is quite a big day. Not only has she now moved into the new office but Lena is home today setting up her new security system she’s made. Kara has no doubts that even this version, the version Lena describes as ‘basic’, is actually much better than anything money can buy and it’s only going to get better from here. Lena even let her name it, only rolling her eyes a little when she aptly named it Hope.

“Give me an update, how far along with the list are you?” Cat asks, peering over the top of her fancy, black-framed glasses.

“I only have three more people to look into and then I just have to start organizing the files to start writing. How about you?”

Cat’s answer is vague, disinterested in answering any questions on her work. “I’m almost done. I’ll be finished today and then we can start officially writing.”

Kara’s happy to hear that but something has been bugging her. They know that there are a lot of people in the government that want them gone but despite the fact that they probably know that they are looking into them from the mass amount of files they have requested on government officials, they haven’t heard so much as a peep from them.

Lena has been coming to CatCo as often as she can to have lunch with her and they have been using the balcony from Cat’s office much more than it’s been used in a long time. In fact, she worked a little late last week and in doing so, overheard the evening cleaners complaining about having to sweep out there since it’s now being used.

Lena is coming by today and since she’s coming from home, she’s bringing Kara dumplings and she’s super excited. It’s rare they often have time to make homecooked meals but they have been trying to do some more. They have been able to stick to their homemade lunches but the dinners are harder with how tired they are.

At first, they tried taking it in turns cooking but have found it much easier and much more stress-free when they do it together so there’s no rushing around and they can catch each other up on their days at work while they do so, the quality time something they have both come to enjoy.

Lena told her about the dumplings this morning as a surprise and it’s the second-best surprise she’s had recently, after the game night Lena managed to plan behind her back. She really needs to plan something special for that woman because Lena’s got her beat for the title of best girlfriend at the minute and she can’t let that slide, Lena deserves a whole lot of pampering too.

“Where are you drifting off to? You’ve got work to do.” Cat’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts, stopping her from planning an awesome day for Lena. She’ll have to reserve those thoughts for later.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about Lena.”

“Shocker.” Cat sneers. “Your girlfriend is not the top priority when you’ve got work to do, as sickeningly sweet your relationship is.”

Kara’s face scrunches a touch. “Is that a compliment or—“ Cat glares at her. “Getting back to work now, got it.”

Cat shakes her head, tutting as she does. “I don’t even know how the pair of you can spend so much time together without hating each other’s guts. I couldn’t stand to spend more than half of the week with any of my husbands.”

“I can’t help it, she’s just amazing.” Kara gets a big goofy grin across her face that just disgusts Cat even more. “She’s even making dumplings for me today for my lunch because she’s working from home. She’s just so…” Kara trails off when she catches Cat’s eye, the glare she’s on the receiving end of stopping her from continuing on. “Sorry.”

Cat buries her nose into the nearest file she has, going back to ignoring Kara’s presence and getting back to work, annoyed by her heart-eyes whenever she talks about her other half but also completely charmed. She has had a fair few relationships in her life but none have ever held as much love or as much passion as she can see in Kara and Lena’s relationship.

Still, she can’t help but be happy for them. With knowing Kara as long as she has, she’s seen her go through quite a few phases, most of them awkward and a little bit sad to watch with a decent sprinkling of second-hand embarrassment thrown in too.

A few years back, Kara helped her to get back in touch with her eldest son, who she had lost contact with and then proceeded to date for a couple of weeks. She had been truly happy to see it since she knows exactly the type of person Kara is. She more than approved of the relationship, but then Kara ended the relationship so she as any mother would do, got angry with Kara for breaking her son’s heart.

Looking back on it now, Kara never had the passion for Adam the way she does for Lena and her son was being quite the drama queen because it was a two-week relationship that ended because Kara wasn’t feeling it.

Kara has a lot of love in her heart and it’s obvious that her love is what keeps her motivated. Her love for her friends and her family, her love for Lena, and her love for her job and her colleagues, even if more than a few have asked her out and she’s had to awkwardly reject them. Cat knows all about the office gossip. She’ll never tell anyone but she secretly lives for it.

Lena knocks on the door timidly when she comes to join Kara for lunch. It’s her first time coming to the new office so she’s a little nervous about getting the right office but when she cracks the door and sees Kara and Cat sitting on opposite sides of the room, she knows she’s in the right place.

Cat watches Lena out of the corner of her eye as she takes in the room.

“This is an awesome office. I’m surprised you let it sit up here empty for such a long time, Cat.” Lena remarks.

“It is an excellent office, I’m aware. When I bought the building, it was once used as the headquarters for a tech firm that has since gone under and this was the CEO’s office. I needed my office where I could look over the bullpen, I can’t run a business if I’m hiding from everyone, can I?”

“Wait, this was a CEO’s office?” Kara asks, her eyebrows raised in shock.

Cat shrugs half-heartedly. “It was, it’s part of the reason I never got it fixed, I didn’t want this office going to someone undeserving but since I’m using it now, I’m deserving.”

Lena folds her arms, taking on the face of a woman with a fire burning behind her eyes. “I think you mean; Kara is deserving.”

“Yes, whatever. I know she’s not about to be flaunting it around the entire building, that’s good enough for me. Well, that and she saved me money on the repairs. I gather that was your idea?”

“What makes you think it was my idea?” Lena questions, her heckles still up from what she perceived to be a slight on Kara.

Cat sighs, annoyed that she can’t just get back to her work. She’d like this to be over just as much as Kara and Lena would so she can get back to her own office. “Kara wouldn’t be as ballsy as to come up with that request on her own. I’ve been trying to get her to believe in herself for years and ask for what she wants but still, it doesn’t always happen. You push her to stand up for herself and this is just an obvious example of you pushing her to get what she deserves.

“You think I deserve this office?” Kara breaks out into a toothy grin.

“Kara, you’re one of my most competent employees, you can have the office.” That’s the most Kara is getting out of Cat but she’s certainly going to take it. That’s the nicest thing she’s said in a while. “Now why don’t you go and have lunch so I can have some peace and quiet?”

Kara is more than happy to comply with that request and is up and out of her chair in a matter of milliseconds. “Let’s go.” She holds her hand out for Lena’s as she approaches her.

“Oh, before I forget, the balcony is off-limits today. The railing snapped last night when it was being cleaned. Apparently, the whole thing just fell off and landed on the ground in front of the building. It’s off-limits until a new one has been installed.”

Kara and Lena share a look.

“Was it the one right in front of the grey chairs?” Kara has to know.

Cat looks up, sceptical and almost accusatory. “Yes. Why?”

“That’s the one we always lean on and look over the city. It’s always been sturdy.”

“Are you inferring what I think you’re inferring?” Cat asks, leaning back in her chair.

Lena speaks up. “Well, you wouldn’t expect the government to make an assassination attempt too obvious would you?”

Cat plucks her glasses off her face and then proceeds to drop her forehead onto the desk in a very uncharacteristic move. One lacking any trace of grace or fragility. “Why can’t things just go smoothly for once?”

“If it makes you feel better, I brought plenty of food if you want some. Now feels like a good time for us all to be stress-eating.” Lena offers, getting the food out of her bag and setting it on the edge of Kara’s desk. “You might as well because without the balcony being available, this is the best place for us to have our lunch.”

For early access to new chapters of this fic and all of my other fics, check out my Patreon here!

#cw supergirl #supercorp endgame #supercorp #supergirl #supercorp fanfic #kara leaned in #kara x lena #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #chaoticsuper #live with me

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lycanlovingvampyre · 2 years ago

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MAG 146 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: taking a bubble bath.

"I suppose I do probably owe you some sort of explanation. (big sigh) Right." It’s been a while since we had a statement that made me go: “Nobody writes like that” xD That's something you'd use verbally, but not written down. Maybe it’s one of those dictated statements.

"But dad was weirdly protective of me, kept trying to keep me around, like he was terrified that the world outside was going to hurt me." He kinda was right?

There is something deeply terrifying about luring children into a trap like the Distortion did with the green jumping rope. Horror genre-wise my thoughts immediately jumped to It, when Pennywise baited Georgie with the paper boat. Otherwise, for me personally there seems to be more to this concept because I often have nightmares about this. Can’t remember any event that might have triggered this though. Maybe it’s just a horror favorite of mine. That moment in those nightmares, when I realize it's a lure, always hits so hard...

"Something was holding the other end, and it was trying to pull me. For one, awful moment, I found myself frozen in a tug-of-war with whatever was inside that door, clinging desperately to that rope as it stretched away and vanished into blackness." Getting goosebumps! I love horror stories with something we can't see interacting with our world. (Absolutely loved this in MAG 9 for example, the beast pounding on the door. Or MAG 63, the shadows holding the statement giver's friend. Hm, usually this is a Dark thing...)

"I told my parents, of course, but they didn’t believe me. They just thought I’d lost it, and was making up wild stories to cover it up." Ahhh, typical Spiral, one of these very real fears. I have very bad childhood memories about this. I hated being a child and not being taken seriously or an easy scapegoat. Not that it got better when it comes to being taken seriously... Yeah, really looking forward to MAG 177... /sarcasm

I love the just-a-few-sentences door stories!

"I’m… sorry; I didn’t mean to get so deep into my issues." Ha, effect of the Eye/Archivist presence?

JON: "But now I decide to start looking properly into Hill Top Road, and all of a sudden I’m drawn to rearrange a filing cabinet, and what do I find behind it?" All of a sudden drawn to do something, you say. After digging into Hill Top Road... I mean, at least Jon seems aware of this being weird. That perhaps contributed to him thinking he's being manipulated by the Web (+ trying to deny it's really him seeking out live statements). And... he actually was manipulated, just not in the way he thought...

HELEN: "No. I imagine not. I decided it was time to finish that game a few months ago." A few months ago... like 10 months ago maybe? When Helen came to Jon in MAG 115? And now he comes to her... Luckily not about the feeding thing. Helen steered the conversation into this direction. And Helen is a terrible conversational partner when it comes to talking about their relationships with the Fears. Daisy is way better for this.

HELEN: "Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? (pointed) Don’t we, Archivist?" JON: "Yes." Yeah, pre-empted it in the previous bullet point, Helen knows whats going on and of course she's rubbing salt into that wound. Jon sounds so scared when he answers. Like, he's coming to terms that it's actually him choosing to feed and perhaps that scares him even more than being manipulated into doing it.

HELEN: "There is something wrong with Hill Top Road. You know it as well as I do. Some strange scar on reality at the center of – whatever it is that the Spider is spinning." Oh, the foreshadowing^^

JON: "I, I want to know: Can the Web control another avatar, one that serves a different power? Make them do things they don’t want to, make them –" JON: "– find victims, feed –" [HE BREAKS OFF; HELEN IS CLEARLY GETTING TO HIM.] HELEN: "Oh, perhaps. Perhaps not. Would that make life easier for you? Are you so sure you didn’t want to?" Yeah, that. Helen always knows how to twist the knife.

Just like we heard a few short horror stories about doors, we now get short statements! I wonder, if these were ideas which didn't make it into a full statement.

JON: "I was walking the streets; I – I thought I was trying to clear my head…" DAISY: "But you were hunting." Oh course, Daisy knows that feeling. I'm glad she's here.

JON: "I don’t record anything anymore, not, not really;" Not really-counter of S4: 16!

BASIRA: "You’re a danger, Jon. A monster. You’re hurting innocent people." JON: "So did Daisy." BASIRA: "Shut up. It’s not the same thing at all." DAISY: "Basira. He has a point." Until this point Basira was admittedly cold towards Jon, but never hostile. Sometimes she even (tried) to help him in a caring way (coffee after trying to Know, telling Jon he doesn't have to look at the Dark Sun...) That ship has sailed now. She wasn't trusting Jon when he woke up and it looked like that gradually changed a bit, but now that trust is destroyed, and even worse, Basira probably feels verified about not wanting to trust Jon. Jon immediately brings up Daisy, he probably thought about this long enough and hoped Basira would cut him some slack because she didn't care about it either when Daisy did it. He kind of throws Daisy under the bus there a bit, but she knows it's true and relevant to Basira. Really, reeeeally glad Daisy is here. She's adds an important perspective to this situation.

BASIRA: "You didn’t know what you were doing." [DAISY MAKES A PAINED SOUND, AS IF TO CONTRADICT HER, BUT STOPS.] BASIRA: "And since you did, you’ve spent every waking hour resisting. He knows exactly what he’s doing." We already heard Daisy's view on this in MAG 142. She said "I hate a lot of what I did back then; doesn’t mean I’m not responsible for it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t me." Basira fully loses the capability of seeing this situation in a more objective way. Seeing, that Daisy was like this as well. But Daisy has been doing this for a lot longer than Jon and probably had a lot of time thinking about it in the coffin and since she's been out. To Jon this is rather new and he has almost no support. No wonder he's not handling it well...

Here's the thing. If you give people the feeling, they have no right to contribute to a discussion, it will scar them and in the future they will handle situations like this badly, even if they get an equal vote. Hmmm, does that come up later...?

MELANIE: "B-Basira – Come, come on." [BASIRA LEAVES, SHUTTING THE DOOR BEHIND HER.] [MELANIE SIGHS.] JON: "Well, that was…" DAISY AND MELANIE: "Shut up." For the comedic effect it was better that Daisy also says "Shut up", but I think it's a bit out of character given the way she just engaged in this conversation.

@a-mag-a-day

#a-mag-a-day #mag 146 #tma #tma spoilers

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anneapocalypse · 3 years ago

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There are a lot of Sera... complaints where although I disagree with them I do at least get where they're coming from. I see why certain things would get on people's nerves, or how easy it is to walk away with genuinely wrong information about her if you never befriend her or talk to her at Skyhold (prime example being the idea that no one taught her archery and she was born knowing it, which is objectively false but still being repeated to this day). I get that her sense of humor is not for everyone. I understand that romancing her with certain types of characters can be painful if you wanted something else from it (though her hang-ups are telegraphed very loudly to the player pretty much from the minute go so it's hard to go into the romance not knowing).

The thing I don't and have never understood is the complaint that she's impossible to understand. And to pre-empt misreadings of what I'm saying, I'm not talking about people having trouble understanding her sometimes rather fast speech due to auditory processing disorders or being HoH, or even about non-British-English speakers having trouble parsing her accent (though the game has subtitles if that's an issue).

I'm talking about the complaint that her speech itself is incomprehensible and everything she says is nonsense. Which it just... isn't. It is not at any point nonsense, regardless of whether you agree with what she's saying or not. Yeah, she speaks "broadly" and uses a lot of slang, and she stands out from the other companions because she is low class and her speech reflects that (something her writer put a lot of thought into, creating his own slang for her using Cockney and 17th century slang as a basis, for which he probably deserves more credit than he gets). But she always means something by what she says and I didn't ever find that meaning to be particularly opaque. Like I don't even know how to prove this with examples because I don't know what parts of her dialogue people find incomprehensible or why. And I don't want to yell classism right out of the gate, but it's a complaint that really sticks in my craw, I guess. Not everyone is going to like Sera and let me be clear, that is totally fine. But I don't think it's that hard to understand her, either her speech or her motivations, if you just spend some time listening to her.

#sera #blunders of thedas #i may regret this but it has been under my skin for a while

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shingia · 4 years ago

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Could I request Kuroo, Bokuto, Tsukishima, Sakusa, Miya twins, and Tendou with a reader who used to self harm but was sober for a while, only to relapse after they left bc of a huge argument then please and thanks? Sorry if that’s really intense tho. And thank u for being so nice🙂💞

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌

ok i reaaally hope this is what you expected. i didn’t know what kind of ending you wanted but i decided that you, my friend, needed comfort, so i gave you comfort because you deserve it ❤️️

i hope reading this will make you feel better! kisses on your nose ❤️️

type : (strong) angst | word count : 4.4K

warnings : mentions of self-harm, depiction of depressive behavior (plz do not read if any of these might trigger something, i want you all to be safe <3)

⇀ 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨

« fuck you, kuroo. fuck. you. ». those were the last words you had told him. they had hurt, but they were nothing compared to the last words he had told you, the words that kept playing over and over in your head as you slowly felt yourself drift to your old habits again : « i’m done with you ».

was it your fault ? did you push him over the edge ? you had many questions to ask kuroo, but he wasn’t there to answer anymore. so these thoughts were left spiraling in your head as you started to lose balance between love and pain. because his love used to be the cure to your pain. so now what ? what were you supposed to do other than going back to your old habits ? you couldn’t think of any answer.

on monday morning, you woke up thirty minutes earlier because, first of all, you needed some time for the swelling of your eyes to go down, and second of all, you needed to mentally prepare yourself to see kuroo again. it had been two days since your fight, and he had not manifested himself once. it seemed to be well and truly over ; and that thought had been the main cause of the collapsing of your mental strength over the last two days.

during your first period, although you were avoiding his gaze, kuroo couldn’t help but cast glances in your direction. because he knew you better than anyone, and he could only imagine how hurt you were.

but he really started to get suspicious when he noticed you were not raising your hand to correct today’s homework. he had helped you with that last week, and you had told him that you felt confident enough to propose your correction to the class ; which rarely happened. so why weren’t you raising your hand ?

he had a bad feeling about the answer… he didn’t care about giving you quick glances anymore, he just stared at your arms until one of your movements would make your sleeve reveal just a few inches of your skin.

and he was horrified to have his fears confirmed. the cuts that he had so often kissed while holding you in his arms were back. and he knew it was all because of him. and although his first thought was that it was not his job to heal them anymore, he couldn’t bring himself to act unbothered.

he had loved you for long enough to know that you needed him right now. or maybe he still loved you ? it was not clear, but it didn’t matter right now. what mattered was that he needed you to listen to what he wanted to say, even if that was the last thing you accepted to hear from him.

« y/n, we need to talk » he told you once you got out of the classroom. you looked up at him ; his face was unusually austere. he carefully grabbed your shoulder and took you away from everyone else.

« i can’t… i couldn’t walk out of there pretending like i didn’t see what your arms looked like » he started. « now listen, i know i fucked up, but i still care. and you still matter. whatever our relationship is doesn’t define you and most importantly, these don’t define you » he pointed at your wrists, his brows furrowed with concern. « so please, i’m begging you, keep in mind that i’m always here if you need to talk. always. and if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but in that case, please find someone else. for the sake of everything we've been through together, don't let everything you’ve accomplished go to waste » and he wrapped his arms around you in the strongest hug he had ever given.

⇀ 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨

it had already been a week. and bokuto had absolutely no idea what to do. call you ? text you ? probably not. what would he even say ? « hi, sorry for slamming the door in your face after screaming at you for fifteen minutes. am i still your boyfriend ? » awful idea.

and while bokuto was pondering every option he had left to get in touch with you, you were left in the darkest place of your mind. and you hadn’t felt like that in a few months. because bokuto used to always be there, his number on speed dial whenever you feared you would relapse. and thanks to his unwavering support, you hadn’t. but was there anything in this world that was truly unwavering ? you really started to doubt it. and now that bokuto had left you, what could carry the pain away ? whatever the answer was, you were in no condition to think rationally about it.

you remembered how he used to celebrate every improvement in your mental health, how strong of a cornerstone he had been for you. and just the fact of not knowing where you guys were at after your fight was enough to make you feel like you were drowning again.

you were overflowing with emotions that you thought you couldn’t control, and apart from holding on tight to bokuto’s chest, you only knew one way to feel better.

you loved him, you really did. but after a week without hearing from him, you started to think that maybe his feelings were not as real as he pretended they were. and how could you not blame him for that ? for letting you down so fast ?

curled up in your bed, tears were streaming down your face ; because you felt weaker than you had promised yourself to be. you were exhausted, in every sense of the word, yet there was still a tiny bit of strength left in your body that made you grab your phone and open your conversation with bokuto. the last message was a bitter pill to swallow : « no problem babe, i’m always here for you ». it was just a week ago but it felt like an eternity had passed. your fingers started slowly typing on the screen and immediately hit sent, knowing that you would second guess your message if you re-read it. « can we talk? », just three words, it was the maximum you could get off of your chest right now.

but bokuto did not answer. for the simple reason that he was too busy catching his breath in front of your door. he frantically knocked, not stopping until you opened it.

« oh my god, are you okay ?! » he exclaimed, patting your entire body like he wanted to make sure you were well and truly there. and once he had made sure of that, he pulled you against his chest like he wasn’t planning on letting you go ever again. « did- did you… » he ventured to ask, not wanting to finish his sentence precisely because he was afraid of your answer. but when he heard you let out a muffled sob against his chest, his fears instantly got replaced by guilt. more than he had ever felt. « you’re alright, i got you. i got you now… » he murmured, his hands stroking your back tenderly. « we’ll get through this together, ok ? we’ll show the world how strong you are. because i know you are. »

⇀ 𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚

yes, sakusa had run away. and he was glad he had. because he knew how hurtful he could be with his words, and he had enough respect not to inflict that to you. but as he made his way back home, doubt started installing in his head. what if he shouldn’t have left you after your fight ? he immediately shook the thought away. no, you were good now. you were better. nothing like who you were when he met you.

and sakusa could be very convincing when he needed to, including with himself. that’s why he didn’t get in touch with you for the next three days, because he thought you just needed some time for yourself.

but when he received a worried text from komori when he got out of the gym after practice, he changed his mind within seconds. « i just saw y/n, something felt off. maybe you should check on them ? ».

sakusa felt a wave of guilt descend upon of him. of course he should. it was his fucking job to offer you his help, even when he thought you didn’t need it. and especially when he knew what you had already been through. he cursed himself all the way to your house, where he could only imagine how lonely you felt. not wanting to waste any more time, he pulled out his phone to call you. and heaved a relieved sigh at the sound of your voice : « hey, are you ok ? like, right now are you doing ok ? » he asked hastily.

you sat on your bed and rubbed your strained eyes, fiddling with the cloth of your t-shirt. « i- yeah, i’m good… » you lied. « i’m at your door, open up please, i gotta see you » he said before hanging up.

you knew sakusa was not going to take no for an answer. so, after wiping your tears and putting on a long-sleeved hoodie and sweatpants, you went to open the door.

« hi… » you uttered quietly. sakusa didn’t dare to move. he had been so determined to get to your house, but now that you were standing in front of him, he wasn’t so sure of what he was supposed to do.

you decided to be the first to break the silence, « i’m okay. and i’m sorr… » « sorry. about everything. » he pre-empted you. seeing you like this made him fear the worst. so he gently grabbed your wrists like he wanted to hold your hands, when in reality he just wanted to confirm his thoughts. and when he saw you stiffen at his touch, he knew he had guessed right. « come here » he whispered before going in for a hug. but you pulled away at the last second. « can we… go to my room ? i- i feel better there » you asked timidly.

he didn’t even answer and simply wrapped his arm around your shoulder before taking you to your bedroom where you immediately curled up on your bed. you didn’t want sakusa to see you like this, but you were in no position to fight back anymore. quietly, he laid beside you and pulled you in a warm embrace, just tight enough to let you know that he got you now.

when he noticed you were trying to find something to say, to explain yourself, he shushed you with a kiss on your shoulder. « you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. but i want you to listen to me very carefully : don’t ever think that you’re back to square one now. you’ve dealt with this before, you’ve grown and you can do it again as long as you promise yourself to get back up. and i won’t leave your side. you deserve so much more than what you give yourself, and i’m here to remind you »

⇀ 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚

tsukishima’s pride was important to him, everyone knew it. the only thing he valued as much as his pride was probably you. but during your arguments, the scale always tipped in his pride’s favor, you simply could not compete.

but surprisingly enough, it was you who had told him to go away after getting in the most heated argument you had ever had. and he didn’t have to be told twice : you had shattered his beloved pride, and he was not going to stay here begging for your mercy.

he still loved you, but he also had no problem ignoring you at school. yet for some reason, this argument didn’t sit well with him. well, no arguments ever sat well with him, but today felt different.

ignoring you was one of the most hurtful things tsukishima could ever do to you. he had helped you through so much, and suddenly becoming a stranger to him was slowly bringing you back down.

« it’s just one time, i won’t relapse » you thought the first time you tried to cope with the pain the way you used to. but you feared it wouldn’t be just one time. you were diving into what you had said goodbye to ; but now that tsukishima was ignoring you, there was no one to stop you from falling, right ?

well, that would have been true if he hadn’t kept a discreet but attentive eye on you. which is why he knew very well that you had gone back to your old habits. and he needed to do something about it.

but he wasn’t good with words, and he feared that actions would not be enough this time. he needed something more permanent, something that you could keep with you all the time. so he decided to do something he had never done before, and gave it to you as soon as it was done…

receiving a letter from tsukishima was definitely not something you expected. but what was written in it was even less expected.

« i’m not the best at this kind of stuff, but… i really need you to stop being so hard on yourself. i know it’s not something i usually say, but i fell in love with you because i learned to love your imperfections. and you have to start doing the same about yourself. please. and if you need to be held, to be listened to, i’ll be there. but i wanted to write something because i want you to be able to read this as much as you need, as much as you want. i want you to get better, but even more than that, i want you to want to get better. you can do it, i believe in you more than you can think. please come to me if you need it. i love you ».

the tears that streamed down your face had a salty taste, but for the first time in a long time, they tasted like hope as well. and the next time you came face to face with yourself and your thoughts, your eyes found find their way back to the letter, and you knew that there were people that still believed in you, counted on you, loved you. tsukki was just the first one of a long list. (<3)

⇀ 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

he had been there through everything. more than you would have imagined. which is probably why you felt desperately empty ever since he got so angry at you that he left without looking back. but at the time, it simply had not crossed his mind that you would suffer so deeply from his words.

but you did. a lot. and that was the reason you found yourself crying on your bedroom floor, not even able to be mad at anyone but yourself.

still oblivious to the true damage, atsumu thought he could get back to you by pretending like nothing had happened. he often did that because, to him, what was in the past belonged in the past. except that today, and in your situation, it could not work.

« wanna grab something to eat ? » was the first text he sent you. and you didn’t feel like answering, so you didn’t. « are you still mad ? i’m not <3 » was the second one. but you still didn’t feel like answering. maybe it was your fault ? maybe you were overreacting while you were just supposed to play it cool like he did ? but you would have played it cool if you knew how to.

when atsumu decided to go to your house, it was initially to apologize in person. he had not planned on seeing you looking the way you did, which was a heart-wrenching reminder of the dark period of time you had gotten through together. but here he was, standing in front of you, feeling more helpless than ever. he knew too well the look into your eyes, one that he hadn’t seen in a long time.

he dropped the pack of snacks he was holding in his hands before cupping your cheeks. « oh no, no, no. i fucked up, didn’t i ? i am… so so so sorry. c-can you forgive me ? » he stammered, absolute panic in his eyes as he took you in his arms. why would i have to forgive you ? you thought. i’m the only one to blame.

but atsumu seemed to also hear the things you didn’t say, and he refused to let you feel guilty for anything. ever so gently, he took your hands in his before placing the softest kisses on your wrists that were still covered by the sleeves of your hoodie. « i probably won’t ever forgive myself for leaving you alone. but promise me you’ll always come to me if you need help, or any kind of support, hugs, kisses… you name it. i’ll be your coping mechanism, and i’ll be the best you’ve ever had »

and he kept holding you for a long time, at least until he felt your breath become steady again. and if you thought atsumu was doting before, prepare yourself to be even more amazed now.

⇀ 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

fighting with osamu was not frequent, fortunately. but when fights occured, it was bad. really bad. he tended to think that you could endure as much as atsumu when it came to harsh words ; but you couldn’t.

kind of like his brother, samu had a tendency to leave the past behind and pretend like nothing happened when he got in touch with you after a fight. and that’s what he did a week ago, after one of the biggest arguments that you had ever had.

too happy that he seemed to still want to be your boyfriend, you didn’t have the courage to tell him how you had gone back to your old habits during the time you were on bad terms. but as they said, old habits died hard, and your destructive thoughts were still very present even when things seemed to have gotten back to normal.

yet samu was not blind, and he noticed that you were acting a bit more distant since last week, since your fight. but he still thought that your problems could be solved by just keeping on pretending like everything was ok. and eventually, things would turn out ok by themselves, right ?

you were laying on his bed, turned on your side as you scrolled on your phone. usually you would have had an arm swung around him, but you didn’t want to take any risk, so you kept your distances.

« hey, come closer baby. we’ve barely cuddled today » he told you before lazily wrapping his arm around your waist.

feeling nervous, you swallowed the lump in your throat before putting your phone on the nightstand. « i’m going to sleep, samu », you said, stretching your arm to turn off the light.

but he was quicker than you and gently grabbed your arm, careful not to apply any pressure on it. his eyes widened, he had barely seen your wrist but it had been enough to notice that the scars were recent. he put two and two together and looked at you dead in the eyes ; you looked ashamed, and it broke his heart. « when did y- was it because of me ? » he asked, his voice faintly shaking. you pulled away from his hand and held your arm against you, sinking in the pillow. « no, of course not. it’s nothing » you breathed out, looking away to avoid his gaze. but he was quick to make you face him again, with a slight pressure of his fingertips on your red cheeks. « there’s only one thing that i hate more than seeing you in pain. it’s knowing that i caused this pain. let me help you, y/n. please. you deserve to feel better. i’m sorry i didn’t give you as much love as you gave me. and i’m sorry for behaving like an asshole when you needed me. just… fuck, i just love you ».

tears started prickling the corner of your eyes, but he saw you trying to hold them back. with the most gentle look in his eyes, he proposed to turn off the light if it made you feel better. and you nodded ; you knew that you’d eventually had to have a face-to-face conversation with him. it was the only way to get better. but right now you just wanted to be held without thinking about what he’d see. or wouldn’t see.

so he turned off the light and let yourself get comfortable in bed before wrapping you in his embrace once again. his soft breath against your neck was obviously not enough to make all your pain magically go away, but it let you know that he had your back. and it was all that mattered.

⇀ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮

« i don’t want to do this anymore, y/n ! » tendou had yelled, making this sentence the peak of your argument. six words, and they were on replay in your minds since four days. you couldn’t believe that almost two years of relationship had ended so abruptly. but you had to face the truth : tendou had enough of you. and obviously you linked that to the turbulent start of your relationship. you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to deal with your self harm when you had just started dating. yet he had managed to make you feel so much better that you had been sober for about a year, all thanks to him. but maybe you hadn’t been grateful enough ? maybe that was why he had decided to end things now ?

the only thing you knew for sure was that he was gone, and you felt like you had lost your anchor.

you had spent the weekend in your dorm, and it had been a painful weekend. so painful that you did not get out of bed on monday morning ; it was just too much to handle. deep down you knew that you were not handling your problems the right way… and escaping reality was not viable.

but little did you know that tendou wanted nothing more than to see you again in the hallways and finally have a heart-to-heart conversation with you. and when he didn’t see you in class, he started to freak out. he knew how it was to feel alone and rejected ; and he started to fear that he had caused you to feel exactly that. so he did not follow his friends to the cafeteria at lunch and headed to your dorm instead, hoping that you’d open the door.

and you did. thank god you did. but panic started bubbling in his chest when his eyes laid on your face.

« alright, come here » he told you with a forced smile before pulling you in his embrace. truthfully, he didn’t feel like smiling, but he knew that the last thing you needed was to think you made him feel bad. when he was with you, his main goal was to cheer you up, he’d deal with himself later. « angel… did you do it again ? » he asked, his tone being the furthest thing from judgmental. you muttered a quiet apology, your face buried in his white uniform jacket. but something lingered on your mind. angel ? it sounded right, but you knew it wasn’t. not anymore. « don’t apologize ! the only person you owe an apology to is yourself » he whispered against your ear. slowly, he put his hands on your waist before bringing you to your bed where he sat right next to you, still refusing to take his hands off of your body.

« tendou, you don’t have to do this… » you muttered, knowing that you weren’t supposed to be this close anymore. « i’m your ex, you don’t owe me anything ».

he immediately looked down to meet your eyes, an eyebrow raised in confusion. « your ex ? wh- you think i broke up with you ? y/n, when i said that i didn’t want to do this anymore, i was talking about fighting with you ! i’m sorry, i should have texted you these last few days, but i thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me »

a tear rolled down your cheek. tendou’s words sounded like heaven right now. maybe you weren’t alone after all ?

« now, do you need me to get you something ? band-aids ? anything ? » he asked, caressing your hair with his right hand. you nodded your head no and kept your head buried in his neck, like you were waiting for his scent to go to your head. « i know you’ve been through a lot, and i’m proud of you no matter what. but, you know… even though i have enough love for the both of us, i’d really want you to have enough love for yourself » he said and placed a kiss on top of your head, waiting for you to say something. but he sensed that you were not ready yet. and he was ok with that, the last thing he wanted to do was to pressure you. it was going to be a long path, but you had already done it, and you were going to do it again. and he’d be there the whole time.

ok so if you’ve read until there it probably means that you needed comfort (i hope i have given you enough) : so if you are in this situation yourself, PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask for help, you can and you will get better. i’m rooting for you like saeko roots for karasuno ❤️️

@toworuu (didn’t forget about you ^^)

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #hq angst #hq comfort #haikyuu comfort #bokuto x trader #kuroo x trader #tsukishima x reader #sakusa x reader #osamu x reader #atsumu x reader #tendou x reader

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a-simple-lee · 4 years ago

Text

Easy

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez, Emily Prentiss, Reader

Synopsis: Hanging out with the team after a case always leads to shenanigans. Tonight’s no different.

Thank you to @sillyfeathers and @squirmycuddles for beta reading this :)

_________________________________________________________

“Spencer always cheats at cards. He counts them.”

“Really?” Luke absently tilts his beer bottle around by the neck, eyebrows raised.

“Oh yea, you’re banned by practically every casino in Vegas, right?”

“Pretty much,” Spencer shrugs. It’s early evening, and the team’s gone to Rossi’s to cool off after a particularly hard case. Music drifts down from the top of the garden, where the others are all milling around sorting drinks and ordering food.

“I don’t think there’s a game you can beat him at.”

Reid clears his throat. “Not true.”

“Name one.”

“Why should I?”

“What about UNO?” Luke suggests.

“What?”

“UNO. You can’t count cards in UNO. It’s chance-based.”

“That’s a good point-” You start, but get cut off by a loud yelp. Spencer’s stood up to glare at Prentiss, who’s walking around from behind him.

“Emily!” He mutters, rubbing at his neck.

“Sorry, I forgot you’re ticklish.”

“No you didn’t.”

“You’re right, I didn’t.” She grins, taking a seat next to Luke on the three-seater opposite. “But I had to take the opportunity. You don’t exactly fight back.”

Spencer puts down his drink. “I could, but you’d all just turn against me.”

“You could?” You question.

“Yea. It’s not hard.”

“It’s not?”

“Oh, tickling someone is easy, it’s avoiding being tickled that’s difficult. I mean, especially when all of you go after me-”

“Spencer,” Emily snorts.

“What? If you want to tickle someone, it’s not that hard, you’ve just gotta make sure you pick the right person,” Spencer states, swivelling on his heels, hands steepled together with the confidence of someone holding back a dangerous amount of mischief. “Someone who’s a fair physical match, or at the very least is willing to hold back. Then you look at their behaviour; If they’re paying attention to what you’re saying, or if they’re avoiding eye contact. If they’re fidgeting, displaying any visible signs of embarrassment...”

And then he looks at you with a glint in his eyes.

“Spence-” You start, hesitating when he takes a step closer.

He visibly suppresses a smirk. “The key to all of this is to get into their head. Build anticipation,” and on ‘anticipation’, he wriggles his fingers in the air.

“uh-woah-” You back up a little. Spence sends a satisfied glance to Luke and Emily as if you’ve just proven his point.

“I’m not touching you,” He supplies, wriggling his fingers again and smirking when you glance away to fight back a grin. “But I don’t actually need to if I want to make you laugh,” His hands move towards your sides, too quickly for you to hold back a yelp. Spencer ducks to meet your gaze, fingers dancing just above your sides. “All I need to do is remind you that I might. Maybe throw in some teasing - was that a smile?”

“No, no-”

“It wasn’t? Are you sure?”

“Yes-”

Spencer’s hands feint towards your sides, drawing back at the last second and eliciting a giggle.

“Aha! See?” He grins when you laugh, holding his hands up. “I haven’t touched you!”

“Okay, point taken - are we done?”

“I dunno, I kind of want to see where this is going,” Emily grins. “I didn’t even know you were ticklish.”

Spencer suppresses a smile. “Is it okay if I carry on?”

This surprises you. You don’t mind, per se, but not minding is quite another thing from giving express permission for your coworker to embarrass you in front of two others.

You pause, blush burning your face. “You’re not making me uncomfortable, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay, so the next most important thing at this point is reactions - you’ve got to look at how they’re responding to what you’re doing. Whether they’re dodging any questions, or stuttering at all; look for anything that might clue you in to how they’re feeling.”

“Like if they’re blushing super hard?” Luke chimes in, a note of amusement in his voice.

“Yeah. Like if they’re blushing super hard,” Reid agrees sagely, before turning back to you and wriggling his fingers again. “Are you ready?”

You start to nod. “Yes-”

Spencer’s hands shoot towards your sides before you can take another breath, spidering against your shirt and sending a jolt through your nervous system. You fold in on yourself with a yelp, hands flying down to try to block him with very little success; Reid’s too quick, pre-empting your flailing by moving his hands to target a new spot before you can reach him. Laughter spills from your lips in waves, and you tilt your head back in a poor attempt to conceal your smile.

“Sometimes it’s good to catch people off guard,” He explains over your hysterics, squeezing your lower ribs with almost methodical precision. “The shock reduces their ability to hide any reactions - which as I just mentioned, are important at this stage. People’s laughter often pitches up when you’re close to a more ticklish spot, which acts as a dead giveaway. They also tend to have specific tells. Like snorting, stuttering, or increased squirming.” As if to enunciate his point, he gently takes hold of your arm to hold it aside, before lightly drilling his thumb into the spot on your side that you’d been blocking. You erupt into incoherent giggles, trying and failing to curl away and ending up partially on Reid’s lap. He’s undeterred, only pausing to smile down at you before continuing his infodump.

“And at this point the laughter and associated endorphins have made them weaker, so you can focus less on incapacitation and more on keeping them laughing,” With that, Spencer shifts his focus from the weak spot on your sides to your neck, fluttering his fingers when you hunch up in defence and drawing a stream of giggles from you.

“Help-” You start, letting out a yelp when his hands dart back to your lower ribs. You go back to covering your face with your hands. “Luke- Ehemily!”

Luke just chuckles. “No can do. Sorry, kid.”

“You can get away if you want to,” Emily supplies. “Don’t exactly need us.”

“Yea,” Spencer squeezes your sides. “I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“Shut up-”

“Oh. See, it’s interesting you say that, because I was just about to explain that this is the stage where people tend to lose their coherency a little bit, normally because they’re flustered. You deflecting our observations like that just shows that we’re getting under your skin. That, and you’re covering your face, partly because you’re embarrassed but also to hide how much you’re blushing - which is really cute, by the way.” Reid states as he zones in on a dip between your ribs which makes you snort. You shake your head, keeping your hands covering your mouth.

“Aw, cmon,” He grins. “Don’t hide.” One of his hands manages to get under your arm, and you break into a new bout of hysterics, spluttering a few protests before clamping your arm down. You try not to dwell on how nice it feels to laugh freely like this, or how long it’s been since you smiled this much.

Spencer is speaking to Luke and Emily again, but the words are lost on you, although you gather it’s something about using teasing. You tap Spencer’s arm, and he slows his pace a little.

“Had enough?”

Your sides hurt from laughing. “Yea-”

“Okay,” He smiles, immediately stopping and patting you on the shoulder. You stay where you are for a second, trying to get your breath back around residual giggles.

“And there you go. Tickling people is easy.” He says, picking up his drink and handing you yours.

“Right,” Luke grins. “Or maybe we just have 2 really ticklish team members.”

Emily suppresses a grin. “Could be,”

Spencer’s spluttering, “hey-I’m not, I-well-...Okay, I’ll get you guys sometime, then you’ll see.”

Luke snorts. “You just taught us all the tricks in the book, genius. Good luck with that one.”

Reid huffs out a laugh. “Maybe I didn’t. You don’t know.”

“Hardly matters, I’m not ticklish.”

“You’re not?” Emily turns to poke Alvez’s side. No reaction.

“Nope.”

“Damn,” She tuts. “Okay. Who needs a top up?”

It’s no surprise to anyone that you’re the first to hand Emily your glass.

#criminal minds #tickle fic #reader insert #ticklish!reader #ticklish!Spencer #spencer reid #Emily Prentiss #Luke Alvez

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 4 years ago

Text

St Vincent: “Pour a Drink, Smoke a Joint... That’s the Vibe”

Ding dong! Daddy's Home

By Johnny Davis

19/03/2021

Annie Clark, known professionally as St Vincent, picked up a guitar aged 12 after being inspired by Jimi Hendrix. During her teens she worked as a roadie and later tour manager for her aunt and uncle, the jazz duo Tuck & Patti. Originally from Oklahoma, she moved to Dallas, Texas when she was seven and later attended the Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts for three years, before dropping out.

Clark worked as a touring musician with the Polyphonic Spree and Sufjan Stevens, before releasing Marry Me, her first album as St Vincent, in 2007. By her fifth album, 2017’s Masseduction, she had become one of the most celebrated artists in music, the first solo female artist to win a Grammy Award for Best Alternative Album in 20 years.

She became unlikely Daily Mail-fodder around the same time, thanks to an 18-month relationship with Cara Delevingne, and later Kristen Stewart. Her ever-changing music, dressing up-box image and head-spinning well of ideas have seen her compared to David Bowie, Kate Bush and Prince. To complete the notion of her being the "artist's artist", in 2012 she collaborated with David Byrne on the album Love This Giant.

Indeed, she is surely one of few performers today who could stand in for Kurt Cobain with what’s-left-of-Nirvana, performing “Lithium” at their induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2014, as well as cover “Controversy” at a Prince tribute concert in 2020, with such guitar-playing fireworks its author would surely have approved.

Following the glam-influenced pop of Masseduction, St Vincent has performed another stylistic handbrake turn. Complete with a new image – part-Warhol Superstar, part-Cassavetes heroine – she has mined the textures of the music she loved most as a kid: the virtuoso rock of Steely Dan, the clipped funk of Stevie Wonder and blue-eyed soul of mid-Seventies' David Bowie, on her upcoming album, Daddy’s Home.

The title refers to Clark's own father, locked up in Texas for 12 years in 2010, for money laundering in a stock manipulation scheme, one in which he and his co-conspirators cheated 17,000 investors out of £35m. It is also, in typical Clark style, a bit of saucy slang.

Back on the promotional trail, Clark Zoomed in from Los Angeles one morning recently – fully caffeinated and raring to go. “My vices?” she pondered. “Too much coffee, man…”

What question are you already bored of being asked?

There’s not one that’s popping out. There’s no question where I’m like “Oh God, if I ever hear that again, I’ll jump off a building.” I’m chill.

I mention it because prior to releasing your last record you put out a pre-recorded “press conference”, seemingly to pre-empt every inane question the media would throw at you.

It’s so funny. It didn’t really occur like that. Originally that was supposed to be a legit green screen conference. Like, “I’ll just answer these questions ‘cos when they need to have me on ‘The Morning Show’ in Belarus they can have this and put their own graphics behind it”. But then when my friend Carrie Brownstein [collaborator and Sleater-Kinney vocalist-guitarist] and I started writing it and it became very snarky. For some reason it didn’t occur to me that “Oh, that might be off-putting or intimidating to journalists” I just thought "This is silly”. So anyway… I understand.

We're curious about your dad and the American legal system.

I have had a lot of questions about that. For some reason it didn’t occur to me how much I would be answering questions about… my hilarious father!

How do you view his time in prison?

Just that life is long and people are complicated. And that, luckily, there’s a chance for redemption or reconciliation, even after a really crazy traumatic time. And also anybody that has any experience with the American justice system will know this... nobody comes out unscathed.

You recently presented an online MasterClass: "St. Vincent Teaches Creativity & Songwriting". One of the takeaways: “All you need are ears and ideas, and you can make anything happen”. Who’s had the best ideas in music?

Well, you’ve got to give credit to people who were genuinely creating a new style – like if you think of Charlie Parker, arguably he created a new style. This hard bop that was just absolutely impossible to play. It was, like, “Check me out – try to copy me!” So, that’s interesting. I think Brian Eno, for sure, has some great ideas about music – and obviously has made some of the best music. Joni Mitchell – completely singular. I mean: think about that. There are some people who are actually inimitable – like, you couldn’t possibly even try to imitate them.

It’s a brave soul who covers a Joni Mitchell song. Although, apologies if you actually have.

No, I have not. And there’s a reason why not. Come on – Bowie. Bowie never repeated himself. David Byrne also didn’t repeat himself. He took all of his influences of classic songs and the disco that was happening at the time, and the potpourri of downtown New York music from the mid- to late Seventies… and synthesised it into this completely new, other thing. I mean, that’s impressive. Those are the ones we remember.

How hard is it not to repeat yourself?

It’s whether people have the Narcissus thing or not. Like, it’s always got to be a balance where you’re, like, “Well, I need to believe in myself to make something and be liberated. But I can’t look at that pond of my previous work and go ‘Oh you! You’re gorgeous!’” So I don’t go back and listen to things I’ve done. I finished Daddy’s Home in the fall and it was, like, “This is done” and it felt great. I loved the record and it was so fun to make. But what I did immediately afterwards was to write something completely different. But then I don’t know, ‘cos there are people who do the thing that they do just great. And you just want to hear more songs, in the style of the thing that they do great.

Right. No one wants an experimental Ramones album.

Exactly. Or, like, or a Tom Petty record. I don’t want a tone poem from Tom Petty! I want a perfectly constructed, perfectly written completely singalongable three-chord song.

The new album has a very “live” Seventies feel. I’d read that some of the tracks are first takes. Can that be right? It all sounds very complicated.

That’s not right. I should say [rock voice] "Yeah, that’s right, we just jammed…" But, you know, I’ll be honest. There are some vocal takes in there that are first takes. But it really is just the sound of people playing. We get good drum takes. And good bass takes. And I play a bunch of guitar and sitar-guitar. And it’s the sound of a moment in time, certainly. And way more about looseness and groove and feel and vibe than anything else [I’ve done before].

Amazing live albums, virtuoso playing, jamming – those were staples of Seventies music. Have we lost some of that?

I mean, I can wax poetic on that idea for a minute. In the Seventies you had this tremendous sophistication in popular music. Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan and funk and soul and jazz and rock…. and all of the things rolled into one. That was tremendously sophisticated. It just was. There was harmony, there were chord progressions.

What else from that decade appealed to you for Daddy’s Home?

It reminds me of where we are now, I think. So, 1971-1976 in downtown New York, you’ve got the Summer of Love thing and flower children and all the hippy stuff and it’s, like, “Oh yeah, that didn’t work out that well. We’re still in Vietnam. There’s a crazy economic crisis, all kinds of social unrest”. People stood in the proverbial burned-out building. And it reminds me a lot of where we are today, in terms of social unrest, economic uncertainty. A groundswell wanting change... but where that’s headed is yet to be seen. We haven’t fully figured that out. We’re all picking up pieces of the rubble and going “Okay, what do we do with this one? Where do we go with that one?” Being a student of history, that was one of the reasons why I was drawn to that period in history.

Also: that’s the music I’ve listened to more than anything in my entire life. I mean, I was probably the youngest Steely Dan fan. It didn’t make me that popular at sleepovers. People were, like, “I want to listen to C+C Music Factory” and I was, like, “Yeah, but have you heard this solo on [Steely Dan’s] ‘Kid Charlemagne’”? That music is so in me. It’s so in my ears and I feel like I never really went there [making music before]. And I didn’t want to be a tourist about it. It’s just that particular style had a whole lot to teach me. So I wanted to just dig in and find out. Just play with it.

Is there a style of music you don’t like?

That I don’t like?

You're a jazz fan...

I love jazz. Are you kidding me? I was that annoying 14-year-old who was, like, “Yeah, but have you listened to Oliver Nelson’s The Blues and the Abstract Truth?”

That does sound quite precocious for a 14-year-old.

It’s annoying. Just insufferable. [Thinking aloud] What music don’t I like….? Here’s what can happen. And I feel like it’s similar to when an actor has some lines in a script and they’re not very good – not very well-written – so they overcompensate by making it very dramatic and really overplaying it. I would say that is a style of music that I don’t really like. Where somebody has to really oversell it and it all feels… athletic. Instead of musical or touching.

Did you put your lockdown time to constructive use?

If you need any mediocre home renovations done, I’m your girl. It was fun. I did – let’s see now – plumbing, electrical, painting. Luckily there’s YouTube, so you can more or less figure it all out. I did a lot of that stuff and I have to say it was such a nice contrast to working on music all day. Because when you’re working on music you have to create the construct of everything. You’re, like, “I need to make this song. But what is this song?” Everything is this kind of elusive castle in the sky thing. But then, if you go and sand a deck, you’ve done something. It feels really good. And it’s not, like, “What is a deck? And who am I?” You’re just, like, “This is a task and I get to do it and I can see how the mechanism works I understand it it’s not esoteric – it’s simply mechanical". I can do something mechanical. I loved it.

Which bit of DIY are you most pleased with?

Painting the kitchen cabinets. That’s a real job. We’re talking sanding. We’re talking taking things off hinges. We’re talking multiple coats. The whole lacquer-y thing at the end. That. I’m, like, “That looks pretty pro”.

What colour did you go for?

Oh, you know, it’s just a sort of… teal. But classy teal.

Of course.

Yeah. The wallpapering wasn’t as successful. But, you know, that’s fine. So that was really fun. And then I also went down a history rabbit hole. I realised I had some gaps in my knowledge about the Russian Revolution and life under the Iron Curtain and the gulags and Stalin and Lenin. So, I went down that hole. And then I was like “Oh I forgot – I haven’t read any Dostoevsky”. So I have been working on his short stories – which are great. And then Solzhenitsyn I really liked – I mean liked is a strange word to use for The Gulag Archipelago. I read Cancer Ward… All of them. I recommend all of it. And then, before that, it was a big Stasi kick. I can’t remember the last time I had time to brush up on the Russian Revolution.

There’s a lyric on “The Laughing Man”, “If life’s a joke… then I’m dying laughing”. It’s also on your new merchandise. What do you think happens when we die?

Nothing.

This is it?

Yeah. I mean, I understand that it would be comforting to think otherwise. That there might be a special place. It would be nice! The thought’s never really been able to stick for me. I would say that we are made of carbon and then we get subsumed back into the Earth and then eventually we become life again – in the carbon part of our makeup.

Well, that sounds better than an endless void.

I don’t think it would be an endless void.

In what ways are you like your mum and dad?

Let’s see. Well, my mother is a precious angel who has unwavering optimism. She is incredibly intelligent and also very nonjudgmental and able and happy to explore all kinds of possibilities. Saying that, though… it’s sounding not like me at all. I’m like my father in that I think we have very similar tastes in books, films, music and a very similar sense of humour. My mother’s so kind that it’s hard for me to… Her level of kindness and decency is aspirational to me.

How famous are you, on a scale of one to 10?

God, I mean, like, “TikTok Famous” probably a one, right? I’m gonna say – I don’t know about the number system – but I’m going to say I-occasionally-get-a-free-appetiser-sent-over famous. Which is a great place to be.

What do you look for in a date?

It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date. You know, I once read something, it might have been something cheesy on a card, but [it was]: if you don’t like someone, then the way they hold their fork will bother you. But, if you like someone – or love someone – they could spill an entire plate of spaghetti on your lap and you wouldn’t mind.

You play a zillion instruments. What’s the hardest instrument to play?

Well, I can’t play horns or anything like that. The French horn is supposed to be really hard. I don’t like to blag… but I’m an incredible whistler. Like, I can whistle Bach.

Is Bach a particularly tough whistle?

I think… yeah. It’s fast. And noodly.

What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we're out of lockdown?

I’m gonna get a manicure and a pedicure and a massage. Massage from a stranger. Any stranger.

What about a night on the tiles?

I will probably attend a dinner party.

That sounds quite restrained.

It sounds hella boring. Sorry.

Clubbing?

No, I don’t really go to clubs. I think in order to go to clubs you have to be a person who likes to publicly dance. And I don’t publicly dance. I mean I would feel too shy to dance at a wedding. But for some reason I will dance on stage in front of 10,000 people.

That’s why alcohol was invented.

Exactly! But I swear I would reach the point of alcohol sickness before I would be drunk enough to dance.

The effects of drugs on creativity: discuss.

Unreliable. Really unreliable. Sometimes after a day’s work in the studio you’re like, "I’m gonna have shot of tequila and then sing this a few more times, and then play". It’s okay but you peak sort-of quickly. You can’t sustain the level without getting tired. And then I would say that weed just makes me paranoid and useless. Every once in a while some combo of psychedelics can get you someplace. But, for the most part, you either come back to [the work] the next day and you’re, like, “This is garbage” or you get sleepy or hungry or distracted and you’re not really doing anything. I’ve never had opiates. Or coke or whatever. So I don’t know. I can’t speak to that. But with the slightly more G-Rated [American movie classification: All Ages Permitted] thing, it doesn’t really help.

What do you have too many of in your wardrobe?

I’m not a hoarder. I tend to have one thing that I get really obsessed with and then I wear it every day. Some people, having a whole lot of things gives them a sense of safety and security. It gives me anxiety. I can’t think if there’s too much visual noise. If there was a uniform that I could wear every day I would absolutely do that. And at certain times I have.

Like Steve Jobs?

Or, oh God, what’s her name? The Theranos lady… Elizabeth Holmes!

The blood-test-scam lady?

Well, I guess it was unclear how much of it was self-delusion and how much of it was, you know, actual fraud.

Another black turtleneck fan.

And – again, this is unconfirmed – she also adopted a very low voice like this in order to be taken seriously as a CEO.

Like Margaret Thatcher.

Did she have a low voice?

She made hers “less shrill”.

Oh yes. Yes!

What movie makes you cry?

The Lives of Others

That’s a good one.

Right. I rewatched that during my Stasi kick.

I’ll be honest, your lockdown sounds even less fun than everyone else’s.

I mean… Look, I had to educate myself. I went to a music college [Berklee College of Music] where I tried to take the philosophy class and the way that they would talk about it… it was taught by this professor who was from one of the neighbouring colleges in Boston. And it was very clear that he really disliked having to talk Kierkegaard to a bunch of music school kids. He was just so bummed by it. I’m trying to learn, “What’s the deal with Kant?” and he felt he had to explain everything only in musical terms [because he assumed it would be the only thing music students could relate to]. Like, “Well, you know, it’s like when Bob Marley…" I’m, like, “No, no, no! I don’t want that!” So I had to educate myself. This is where its led me.

Where should we ideally listen to Daddy’s Home?

Put it on a turntable. Pour yourself a glass of tequila or bourbon – whatever your favourite hooch is – and smoke a joint and listen to it. I think that’s the vibe.

Daddy’s Home is released on May 14

#have u covered Joni mitchell? Annie clarkson: ‘I have not’#OKAY MA’AM WHATEVER U SaY MA’am #st vincent #annie clark #interviews #marfa was a dream #Apparently #and that one time she posted her singing jm in the car #also that time at Newport folk festival with doveman #‘maybe that’s her shtick this time around’#’to be full of shit?’#’yah’#that’s hot

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jocazep · 4 years ago

Text

In the Whole Wide Train | Chapter 11

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Reader (Jo, OFC), slight Edgar x Reader

Warnings: Major spoilers for SNOWPIERCER, dystopian society and its countless problems, mentions of forced abortions, language, violence, deaths, slow burn, eventual smut

Synopsis: Having grown up in the Front Sections of the Snowpiercer, you venture down the train when a rare opportunity presents itself, but the excursion quickly changes flavor when you arrive in the Tail Section.

A/N: Sooooo it's been a while... mainly because I didn't want to write the inevitable [SPOILER] of a certain character...but alas, the fanfic must go on. So here we go again...

Taglist: Now closed

Series Masterlist

Chapter 11 - Breaking Bread

“I forgot to ask,” you reached out to grab Curtis’ right arm as the gang shuffled along the green aisles of the garden section.

“What?” Curtis was too busy looking at the overwhelming plants, trees, and vegetables that he thought had long been extinct in the world. It was a beautiful sight, you had to admit, especially compared with the monotone bleakness of the tail section. So beautiful that when Namgoong opened the door, everyone’s eyes, with the sole exception of Mason’s, lit up as this unimaginable paradise was presented to them.

“That little scar on your forearm--”

“It’s nothing--” you felt his arm stiffen beneath your hand, his left hand involuntarily scratching the coat over the position of the scar. To be honest, you could barely remember what it looked like anyway. In the heat of passion last night, your eyes caught a long, even line near the elbow that looked more like the remnant of a precision surgery than a battle scar.

“All right, keep your mysterious cool guy aura then,” The scar piqued your interest, but you decided against pushing for an answer--there will be time after the matter at hand... You grabbed tighter onto his arm, tip-toeing to place your lips near his ear and whisper, “Tease.”

Curtis turned around, surprised. You didn’t need to forego all the fun, right?

“No, no, no don’t eat that--” a worker reached out to Tanya, who had picked up a tomato.

“It’s OK, just a tomato.” You calmed the worker down, rolling up your sleeve, “Here use my credit.” The worker took out the scanner, still hesitant, but obliged you. A small beep sounded and you were on your way.

“What was that?” It was Curtis’ turn to be curious.

“Well up front we have this thing called currency--” you joked, but the sight ahead distracted your audience.

You had come to the aquarium section.

Moments later, the eight of you were sitting along the sushi bar, staring at the plates of exquisite raw fish in front of you.

“So, sushi.“ Tanya took up her serving and popped it into her mouth.

“You people are lucky! This is only served twice a year, January, and July,” Mason decided this was a good time to open her mouth.

“Why, not enough fish?” Tanya quibbed dryly, as a massive manta flowed overhead.

“Enough isn’t the criterion,” You absent-mindedly took over the conversation from Mason as you poured the soy-sauce for your toro nigiri, “It’s balance--”

You lift your head to put back the soy-sauce, only to realize everyone to your right was looking your way, waiting for you to finish your thought.

“What about balance?” Curtis, sitting to your left, asked.

You whipped your head back, a quick moment as you looked at the man--he will need to know sooner or later, right?

“Be...because of that--” you pointed to the whiteness outside, the remnants of a metropolis whipping past, “the only way this aquarium was going to survive, was by becoming a closed ecological system. The number of individual units must be very closely, precisely controlled in order to maintain the proper, sustainable balance.”

“Like so many other things on this train.”

You passed a stern look to Mason, who was bitterly fiddling with the iron around her wrists.

“Whoever designed this got really lucky then,” Namgoong commented.

“Oh no, back in the first year my--” you caught yourself before the word “father” slipped out, “my friends told me they had to get rid of the fish that couldn’t fit into the food chain...”

“What, the restaurant served exclusively fish?” Curtis could almost hear Edgar’s ranting in his ear.

“Some,” You picked at the wasabi, smearing it on your sushi, “a lot of them got made into taxidermies for posterity...” It was only after the room became quiet that you realized you misspoke, “I’m sorry...It was...”

“It’s all right, it’s what actually happened,” Curtis put his arm on your shoulder, pulling you closer towards him.

You couldn’t let it go that easily of course. Remember your surroundings, you were bothered that your father’s voice rang up in your head. But the truth was you probably needed a reminder, after such a long time with the revolters, it’s easy to forget what you were really here for. Better now than later.

But it seemed the meal was just destined to go awry--no sooner had Mason picked up her chopsticks, than Curtis pulled on the chain, jerking the tools out of Mason’s control.

“No,” Curtis palmed out a protein bar, waving it in front of Mason, “You eat this. Know what it’s made of?”

Mason took it up, and threw a quick look at you, only to realize you had pre-empted her by turning your attention to Yuna sitting to your right.

“Curtis my friend, this seems uncalled for--“

“I’m not your friend, and this is 100% called for.”

”Would I be your friend if I had classified information about Wilford?“

Uh-oh. You forced yourself to turn your head--naturally and slowly--towards Curtis and Mason, “Curtis...” You lay your hand on his, and shook your head.

You could swear you saw his nostrils flare up a little, “We have had to eat this for, hell you have had to eat this for--”

“But isn’t the point of the revolt--”

“The point,” Curtis wriggled his hand from underneath yours, and flung the protein bar at Mason, “is to make them pay for what they did to us--”

“Make them pay? Weren’t we fighting for equal quality--“

“Not after what they did to Edgar--”

“How is degrading Mason any help?”

“At least I’ll sleep a little better knowing I made one front-sectioner get a taste of their own medicine.”

The words hung like leaden rings in the air, reverberating through your spine. Mason looked on, unsure how to react.

“Well,” after a long while, you finally opened your mouth, “then let that be me instead.”

Curtis, like everyone else, was taken aback. They watched as you reached out, switching the protein bar with your own sushi serving.

“Jo, that’s not what Curtis meant...” Tanya tried to diffuse the situation, but you ignored her, biting down on the brownish jelly, forcing the rubbery morsels down your throat. It tasted even worse than you remembered.

When you couldn’t stomach any more of the protein bar, you stuffed the rest in your pocket, got to your feet, and walked to the far end of the aquarium.

Curtis made a move to follow you, but Tanya stopped him, “let her blow off a little steam.” Curtis nodded, still hesitant, his eyes trailing your footsteps as they quickened the closer you moved towards the restroom.

Yuna ran past, intent on following you, but was met with the slamming of the steel door in her face. She looked back at Curtis and company, a little confused and hurt.

On the other side of the door, you were puking your guts out, eyes welling up, nose running. It wasn’t just the thought of eating protein extracted from millions of locusts that turned your stomach--the little clash had brought a stern reality check in your head: this is a revolt, and whatever the original intent, if Curtis and Co succeed, there will be suffering and chaos before any sort of balance is reached.

Guess the old man was pretty perceptive after all...you thought as you finally straightened up, wiping your face with water, trying to recall what your father had planned in case the revolt went further than the water section, only to realize Wilford had actively excluded you from that conversation.

You were wondering if he had predicted your eventual realization of the irreconcilable conflict between your visions of change and those of the revolt when a gentle knock sounded at the door. You checked your face in the mirror, forcing an air of nonchalance—you don’t want Curtis to think you had been crying, even if it was just from nausea.

“Are you OK?” It was Yuna’s voice coming through the door.

Eyes dropping a little, you pulled opened the door, “yeah, just nature calling. What’s up?”

Yuna raised the same wrinkled notebook page, pointing at the pencil-colored steel drawers.

“Yes we’ve been through this—“ Yuna pushed the paper closer to you, forcing you to take a closer look. There were shallow indents on the page, remnants of your notes when you made your way down the train.

Oh god. You panicked as you scrambled to remember what you might have written on those pages.

“Yuna, listen—“

“Guys, c’mon, we are moving onto the next section.” Tanya called out.

You nodded in her direction, and looked down at Yuna, “we’ll revisit this?” Yuna put the paper back into her pocket and followed you to join the gang.

As the two of you approached, Curtis tried to find your eyes. He wished he could say that he didn’t mean what he said, but he knew you saw the truth behind the hot-blooded words. Years of oppression had created a beast within him, and it was easy to hate the front-sectioners when they were faceless beings living in his head, or the pompous Mason. But now...

To be honest he had stopped thinking of you as a front-sectioner since well before your passionate evening together. Which makes it all the more frustrating when you chose to remind him of the undeniable fact, stirring awake the beast he thought he had put to sleep. He knows it’s not your fault—you were barely out of school when you boarded the train. And it is terribly difficult for him to imagine the courage it took for you to side with him against your family and friends—goodness he had never thought about that before. Do you still have family in the front--

His train of thought came to a grinding halt as you walked past him, determined not to look at him. Curtis felt his brows furrow further, and jerking the chain, pulled Mason forward.

“Curtis my friend, could we dispense with the chains for the next section?”

“Why?” A half-distracted answer from Curtis as he watched you push the door open with Namgoong and Grey, heading into the freezer section.

“Well, for the sake of the young, the children--“ Mason was barely finished with her sentence when you walked over, taking off your overcoat and draping it over her cuffs.

”What do you think you’re doing?“ Curtis didn’t sound too pleased.

“It’s the school section next,” you said as you strode to the front of the procession again, “kids shouldn’t be a part of this.”

The silence game between you and Curtis continued throughout the freezer section please, you walking at the front, him trailing in the back with Mason. You started fidgeting as you walked past the racks of beef and frozen chickens—maybe giving Mason your coat wasn’t such a great idea. But you were not going to give Curtis the satisfaction, so you did the only thing you could do, walk faster.

“Hey, spoiled lady, wanna slow the fuck down?” Namgoong never actually learned your name, which doesn’t really make a difference to your really...

“Sorry, I’m just not very good with cold.” You said as you slowed your steps until you were in the same footing as the disheveled security specialist.

“Then you’re fucked in this world.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “yeah guess I am...” Then you remembered something, “Why does the Yekaterina Bridge mean so much to you?”

“What?”

“I saw you looking for something through the windows when everyone was hanging on for dear life. Must have been pretty important to you...”

A moment of silence as Namgoong stopped his steps. You kept your eyes on him, waiting for an answer. He let out a sigh, raising a hand, “you wanna swipe your implant to open the door, or should I?”

You turned your head—and see the door at the end of the section.

When the rest of the company finally caught up to you and Namgoong, Curtis noticed your fidgeting hands as they raised up to unlock the door, the fingertips showing just a tiny hint for blue. With Mason in tow, he strode up to you, taking your hand before you could retract it.

“Wh—“

“You’re freezing,” Curtis said as the lively noise of children hit you like a heatwave. Bright colors assaulted your eyes and saccharin songs flowed through the concrete doors.

“I’m fine,” you replied, your hand twitching within his grasp, but not quite withdrawing it.

“Look, I feel like an asshole for earlier...” Curtis took a pause as the rest of the company shuffled past into the school section. A pregnant lady led the children in chorus as an educational, semi-propaganda introduction of the train was blaring on the TV at the moment. Thank god you were too old for this when you first boarded.

When it was once again just the two of you hovering at the entrance, Curtis continued, “Here take my coat—” He moved to shrug off his tattered coat, but you stopped him.

“Sure this front-sectioner has had enough taste of her own medicine?”

“C’mon, I don’t think of you as a front—“

That’s not exactly what you were hoping to hear.

“But I am one,” you said as you pulled your hand free, his fingers leaving visible prints on yours, “and up to a month ago, everyone in my life is one too.”

”But now you’re with us—”

“There should be no ‘us’ or ‘them’, that’s kind of the point of all this jazz, Curtis.”

Curtis just blinked at you. You could see the idea behind your words not quite computing within his mind, a mind that had always lived in the darker part of a dichotomy. And a part of your resolution melted away.

“Let’s do this another time,” You laid one hand on his, urging him to put his coat back on.

“Sure you’re ok without the coat?”

“I’ll survive. My blood is still raging hot from our fight earlier.” Curtis was a little bummed at your joking dismissal of his concern, but he knew there was no use pushing you.

“Children, let’s say hello to our guests from the tail section...” To her credit, the pregnant teacher kept her countenance as she took in the group of torn coats and ragged shoes filing past her, Tanya and Andrew getting their grease-stained fingers on a student’s face every once in a while when they thought he resembled their sons.

“Today is the first day of the new year, so we have a special little treat,” the teacher said as a well-dressed, clean-shaven Gerald walked in, to everyone’s surprise.

Amidst murmurs of “Is that Gerald?”, your eyes glazed over, thinking about his wife back in the tail section and her broken hand. And your resolution crumbled further—surely the train could have made room for one more violinist? A cloudy silhouette of the previous violinist took form in front of your eyes—was she the first chair of the Viennese Philharmonic? You couldn’t quite recall, except for the fact that she played at the weekly fete.

You were so lost in thought, and music, to have noticed Egghead walking down the aisle, handing each child a New Year’s celebratory egg.

And then, came the most traumatic three minutes of your life.

Taglist: @torntaltos @emmalbg @ajosieface

#curtis everett #curtis everett fanfic #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x you #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #snowpiercer #snowpiercer fanfic

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