#sob I’ll make an actual background someday I’m

[amphypan]

TB SEASON 2!!!! After 6 years since watching TB it’s finally here and it was such a great season 😭

[bntlyes]

HUH ??   you   just   saw   COCO   JONES   walking   around   cloud?   no,   no.   that   was   just   BENTLEY   RICHARDS,   the   complex’s   resident   TWENTY-FOUR   year   old   OPULENT.   SHE   is   sorta   OBSERVANT   &   LEVEL-HEADED,   but   also   a   little   GUILEFUL   &   INDETERMINATE   at   times.   the   group   swears   SHE   reminds   them   of   GLITTERING   RHINESTONES   PLACED   METICULOUSLY   AROUND   STARRY   EYES,   LATE-NIGHT   PARTIES   IN   THE   BASEMENT   and   BIG   CITY   DREAMS   IN   A   SMALL   TOWN   GIRL.   if   you   ever   hear   DREW   BARRYMORE   by   SZA   coming   from   APARTMENT   # 5,   you’ll   know   they’re   in.

excuse me i’m just sobbing. i promise i won’t be all that mushy but thank you so much for joining this little group. i’m hyacinth here with my beloved, bentley. she’s essentially what rachel berry from glee would have been like had she not been awful in every sense of the word ( but bentley has her moments, to be honest, but she’s more ...... well meaning and good intentioned i’d say. ) i’ve got her plots and stats pages here, but a brief history of who she is can be found under the cut!

                                          BENTLEY’S BACKGROUND

— BENTLEY RICHARDS grew up dreaming of life in new york, far from nothingville, usa where she's from ( actually, read: weathering, georgia, a tiny little town halfway between nothing and nowhere. at least, that's how it felt when she was there. ) to her, new york was where everything was.

— took up countless odd jobs to make a little nest egg to get to the city. however, after realizing that it would take a little more than she had to make it there ( actually, a lot more ) bentley worked almost non-stop both the year before college, all throughout college and the year after graduating. to this day, she doesn't know how she did it.

— determined almost to a fault. she's the type who, once she sets a goal, come hell or high-water, it will happen. you might hear about it when it doesn't, but only if you're one of the select few whom she feels comfortable enough to allow that side of herself to be shown to.

— can be a little stuck up and conceited at times. these times, when she can't see past the edge of her own nose, are when she needs someone to talk her down.

— quite extroverted and loves to help people out, but once she gets in her own head, she can become quite withdrawn.

— few things in life she takes more seriously than the art of musical theatre ( no, don’t laugh. ) she’s been singing and dancing ever since she can remember and, although she didn’t like growing up in such a small town, she did like feeling like the proverbial big fish in a small pond. now that she’s a little fish in the sea of new york city, she’s got her work cut out for her.

— she’s currently working as a waitress at a local spot in the city to make ends meet while waiting for her big break ( which will come . . . she’s sure of it! ) and dipping into her nest egg whenever she has to.

— her zodiac sign is aries and, accordingly, she’s especially ambitious, honest ( overly so at times ), self-assertive and brave. notice how ‘humble’ wasn’t on the list?

— she’s the type who likes to keep busy, but when she’s resting just let her rest. it doesn’t always happen, but when it does, she goes big or goes home. there have been times when she’s not left her apartment for a week. it only happened once, and she ended up hating it for throwing her off her schedule, but at least she can say she did it.

— when it comes to her friends, she’s the type to lend a helping hand. however, she might seem a little closed-off at first, and has a habit of saying the wrong things at the worst times.

— basically she’s just trying her best. she’s got all of these plans and knows how to make them happen, but it’s just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and making those plans reality. hopefully someday soon, you’ll see her name in lights. 😊

hit the heart button and i’ll come to plot with you either in the ims or on discord! thanks for reading this and ( take a shot every time hyacinth says so ) thank you for joining! 

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 14

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

“It was so good to see you, Will,” Valerie says in a muffled voice against his chest as he has her wrapped up tightly in a bear hug.

“I know, I’m so glad I ran into you,” Mulder replies, brushing his hands over her back. He pulls away and kisses her softly on the cheek.

“It makes me really happy to see you so happy,” she says with a smile, her long brunette hair lifting softly in the breeze, brown eyes holding affection that can only be held between two people who have the type of bond that can withstand a breakup and then a transition from lovers to friends.

“Likewise,” he says, nodding towards the small swell of her growing belly.

“I’d love to meet your girlfriend someday, if you think she’d be okay with that,” she says, collecting her purse.

“Yes, I’d really like that. I think you two would get along really well, actually,” he says, and she smirks at him.

“You’re not afraid we’ll bond over having to sit through your shitty movie collection?” she teases, and he laughs good-naturedly.

“Hey, Scully likes my shitty movies, that’s why we’re a perfect match,” he retorts.

She squeezes his arm.

“Call me sometime, okay?”

He nods and watches her walk away, feeling like he’s on cloud nine. A great friendship with his ex-girlfriend, a promising new love with the woman of his dreams; he can only imagine what lies in store next. He practically skips on the walk back to his car, wondering if Scully might let him come by tonight, hoping that he won’t have to wait until the weekend to see her again. He decides to call her as soon as he gets home.

The first few times he gets her machine, he assumes she must be at her mother’s. When she still hasn’t answered or called back by 9:00 pm, he’s confused. When he emails her the next morning and still hasn’t gotten a response at 10:00am, he’s officially worried.

Something is wrong.

———

She had eventually turned off the ringer on her phone and put the volume all the way down on her answering machine so she wouldn’t have to hear his increasingly obsessive attempts to get ahold of her, then slept fitfully all night.

She knows that she needs to give him some kind of response or he’ll show up on her doorstep, but she can’t bring herself to face him, even in voice. Every time the image of him with that woman pops back into her head, she feels a lump form in her throat immediately, a sick sadness welling in her belly. She’s pored over every memory in her mind, every interaction they’ve had, searching for signs. Signs that he was seeing someone else, that he wasn’t interested in anything other than getting in her pants, that he was lying to her. Her thorough inventory brings up next to nothing, which almost makes it worse; how adept he must have been at creating a false reality for her to exist in. Perhaps he’s garnered some tips from the sociopaths he studies, or maybe his background in psychology allowed him to manipulate her.

When she arrives at work, she is unsurprised though still dismayed to see an email waiting for her.

From: fmulder@fbi.gov

Sent: May 5, 1997 7:57 am

To: dscully@fbi.gov

Subject: Where are you?

Scully, you’re freaking me out. Are you okay? Please respond.

She deletes it immediately and tries to focus on work. She performs an autopsy and teaches a class, both welcome distractions from her emotional torment. Just before 11:00 am, the phone rings.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy…yep, she’s here, one second.”

Trudy turns and opens her mouth to speak, but sees Dana waving her arms and shaking her head. She makes a confused face and puts the phone back to her ear.

“Oh, actually she just stepped out, sorry. Can I take a message?”

She watches as Trudy scribbles something on a piece of paper.

“Uh huh…yes. Okay, I’ll tell her…you have my word.”

She replaces the phone on the receiver and hands Dana the paper with a sympathetic frown.

“Trouble in paradise?” she asks rhetorically.

Dana looks down and deciphers Trudy’s messy scrawl.

Call Mulder immediately. Send a sign of life.

She crumples it up and tosses it into the trash can.

“You wanna talk about it?” Trudy asks.

“Nope,” Dana replies, turning back to the computer.

From: fmulder@fbi.gov

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:03am

To: dscully@fbi.gov

Subject: PLEASE RESPOND

Scully, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but if you don’t reply to this within an hour I’m driving down there.

Please respond

She feels fresh tears well in her eyes. Why is he trying so hard if he’s seeing someone else anyway? Why is he doing this to her? With a surge of anger, she hits reply.

From: dscully@fbi.gov

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:05am

To: fmulder@fbi.gov

Subject: RE:PLEASE RESPOND

I’m fine, Mulder. Please just give me some space.

With that she closes her email, begs someone to take her second class of the day, and goes home.

———

He feels like he’s stepped into an alternate universe. He’d left her happy and satisfied, and out of nowhere she’s shutting him out. What does she need space for? Space from him? Why? Did he come on too strong and freak her out? He thought they’d moved past that. He picks up the phone again.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy.”

“Trudy, it’s Agent Mulder again. Look, I don’t want to put you in an awkward position, but is Dana there?”

She pauses. “No, she went home for the day. She seemed pretty upset.”

“Do you have any idea why?” he implores.

“No, other than the fact that it seems to be directed at you.”

“Yeah, that much I gathered. Thanks, Trudy, sorry to bother you.”

“No worries, good luck.”

He slams the phone down, grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and leaves.

———

She is half expecting his knock, but it still makes her jump, nearly causing her to spill her wine. She wants to just ignore him until he goes away, but she knows his proclivity towards persistence won’t let him do that. Better to just get it over with, she thinks as she slumps towards the door.

The second she lays eyes on him in his slacks and dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie discarded, she feels her chin pucker and tears threaten her eyes. As angry as she is, she immediately wants to go to him, to curl up within his embrace so he can comfort her. The problem is, what she needs comforting from is him.

“What is going on?” he says with a mix of frustration and fear.

She stands in the open doorway, not making space for him to enter.

“I saw you,” she says, her voice strained with emotion.

“You saw me...what?” he asks, his face a mask of confusion.

She lifts her chin, clenching her jaw and summoning strength.

“I saw you with her. Yesterday, at the Bluebird Cafe. After I had lunch with my family.” her voice holds steady, anger carrying her through.

His face falls and her gut twists. She wishes she didn’t have to watch this.

“THAT is what this is about?” he asks, but there’s no shame or regret in his voice. If anything, he sounds a little mad.

She nods curtly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he spits out, and she recoils a little at his vitriol. “Let me in, Scully. Right now,” he demands, and against her better judgement she moves aside.

He pushes past her into the apartment and she closes the door softly, leaving it unlocked in case either of them decides to make a hasty exit.

“Did you consider,” he begins, his back to her, “maybe, I don’t know, asking me about what you saw?” He turns to face her, one hand on his hip and his face contorted with anger. “Or were you just planning to avoid me until I gave up and went away again?”

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s confused about why he’s yelling at her when he’s the one who did something wrong. She just looks at him, expressionless.

He juts his chin out expectantly, waiting for an answer, but gets none. She averts her eyes.

“Is that all this is worth to you, Scully?” he continues, “you’re ready to throw this away over a simple misunderstanding, without even talking to me?”

She lifts her head and looks at him with a pained expression. “Okay then, talk,” she gets out.

He drops his head in frustration. “The woman you saw me with,” he says flatly, lifting his head to meet her eye, “was my ex-girlfriend, Valerie. I ran into her while I was running errands yesterday, and we had lunch. She has a boyfriend and is three months pregnant. We spent the majority of our meal together talking about you.”

She shakes her head gently, her throat closing as a tear rolls down her cheek. “I saw you kiss her,” she whispers, her jaw quivering.

“You saw me kiss her on the cheek? I also kiss my mother on the cheek, Scully, it’s hardly an intimate gesture.”

She feels a new wave of sickness pass over her, but this time it’s entirely different. This time it’s the sick feeling of realizing that she was very, very, wrong, and that she has, yet again, hurt the man who loves her. She opens her mouth to speak but she can’t find the right words.

He steps forward but doesn’t touch her. When he speaks, his voice is softer, more defeated than anything else.

“I’m sorry that you saw something that upset you. But if you actually thought for a single second that I want to be with anyone but you, you’re fucking insane. I meant what I said the day you left my apartment last year. I felt it then, and I feel it now. I want this to work more than anything, Scully, but for that to be possible you have to trust me. I can’t live with the knowledge that you might just shut me out at a moment’s notice when you get scared.”

She keeps her head down, overwhelmed by a combination of shame, embarrassment, and gratitude that he wouldn’t let her walk away. She does not deserve this man, but she wants to.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, still unable to meet his eye.

“I know you are,” he replies, moving towards the door. “Take the space you need, and let me know when you’re ready to trust me.”

When she hears the click of the door closing behind him, she collapses to the floor, sobbing for so many reasons she couldn’t possibly name them all. When it’s faded to snivels and hiccups, she stands and goes to the hallway, picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Missy,” she chokes out, “Can you come over?”

———

He’s not sure if leaving was the right thing to do. The risk that she might not come back around is one that sends his stomach into knots, but at the same time he finds it hard to accept that she wasn’t even going to give him the opportunity to explain. He’s been actively working to temper expressing his feelings so he doesn’t overwhelm her, but then she gets it in her head that he’s not invested. It feels like he can’t win.

He goes back to work and stops by Kirkbride’s office to apologize for disappearing. Kirkbride just gives him a quizzical look, clearly not having noticed he had left. The rest of the day he buckles down on his caseload, distracting himself from the catastrophic thoughts that dance through his head, and gets more work done than he has in quite a while. When he leaves the office just after 5:00 pm, he feels melancholy and grouchy, and annoyed that he left the ball in her court.

The elevator dings to announce his arrival on the fourth floor and he steps out with a takeout bag in his hand, eyes downcast. Halfway down the hall, he readies his key and looks up, startling when he sees Scully sitting on the floor against his door, knees tucked up against her chest and her forehead resting on her kneecaps. She’s very still, and as he gets closer he realizes that she’s asleep. His heart aches knowing that she’s been waiting that long, that she didn’t want to leave without talking to him.

He crouches down beside her, setting his dinner on the floor, and gently touches her shoulder. She jerks, her head snapping up and her eyes wild for a moment while she tries to orient herself. When she focuses on him, she immediately starts crying, reaching out to wrap her arms around his neck. He’s surprised by her uncharacteristically emotional response, but says nothing and just holds her until his knees start to ache, at which point he sits down on the floor and pulls her into his lap. They stay this way for several minutes, long enough for one of his neighbors to walk by and politely avert their eyes, entering their apartment as though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening in the hallway. When the crying seems to have subsided a bit, he gives her a little squeeze.

“Wanna go inside?” he asks, and she nods against his chest, his shirt damp from her tears.

She stands unsteadily and he follows her, grabbing the takeout bag off the floor. They enter the apartment and Priscilla plods up to them with an excited meow. Scully leans down and picks her up, tucking the cat against her neck as they nuzzle each other. Mulder smiles at them with a bemused expression.

“She was talking to me through the door,” Scully says with a small smile, “she heard me knocking and was meowing from the other side. We had a conversation.”

Affection swells in his chest and he steps forward to kiss her. Her shoulders drop and she lets Priscilla down so she can get closer, threading her arms around his waist and kissing him back in earnest. Desperate, thought I’d lost you again kisses that are as arousing as they are a relief, because he knows that they will be okay.

He pulls back a little and she makes a whimpering sound in protest.

“I’m gonna go change really quick, okay? Then can we talk?” he asks, and she sighs and nods. “You can have half my Chinese,” he adds, and she gives him a tight-lipped smile.

When he sits on the couch beside her five minutes later, she scoots closer so they are pressed against each other, and he gathers that she needs physical closeness right now. He loops an arm around her shoulder and she crawls right back into his lap, curled against him as though trying to fuse her body to his own. Her head tucked beneath his chin, she holds one of his hands in her lap, fingers laced tightly together, and begins to speak.

“After you left, Missy came over and we talked for a long time. I’ve come to realize how much I’m still affected by...what happened last year. I harbor a lot of guilt for being unfaithful to Ethan, and that’s actually largely why I married him even though I knew my heart wasn’t in it.” She pulls in a deep breath, pressing their joined hands tight against her belly, trying to get even closer. “When you and I reconnected, in a way it felt like a chance to validate it. As though things working out with us would mean that what I did wasn’t as bad, because there was something real between us. But at the same time, a big part of me doesn’t believe that I deserve to be happy.” Her voice remains steady, but he feels the wet drop of a tear on the back of his hand.

He tightens his arm around her waist. “I’ve always been a person who values doing the right thing, and integrity was something that was very important to my father. It was his measure of a person’s character, and that’s something he instilled in me as well.” She sits up a bit so she can look at him, and his heart breaks at her red-rimmed eyes, her icy irises so mournful. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Mulder. You haven’t given me any reason not to. It’s just that I don’t feel like I deserve this, especially with you, and I’m waiting for the moment it all comes crashing down. So when I saw you with that woman, it was almost like I’d been waiting for it, expecting it. Getting what I deserved.”

He brings his palms to her cheeks, brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

“Thank you for telling me that,” he says softly. “I wish I could change how you feel, but I know that I can’t. I do know how it feels to spend your life harboring guilt over something you could have done differently, and I can tell you that punishing yourself won’t make it any easier. It makes me really sad that you’ll always regret how we met.”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head gently. When she opens them, her expression is more tender than it is mournful.

“I don’t regret it, Mulder. I do feel guilt, and shame, for not ending it with Ethan so we could have done things the right way, but I could never regret meeting you.”

He pulls her back into an embrace, her arms wrapping around his ribcage, and plants a kiss to the top of her head.

“Are we okay?” he asks softly.

“I hope so,” she says hoarsely.

“Is this a bad time to tell you that Valerie wants to meet you sometime?” he asks, and she laughs.

“I don’t know, did you tell her that I freaked out on you because you had lunch with her?” she replies, and he can already hear her tone shifting back to their typical lighthearted banter.

“No, of course not. That’ll be our little secret. Well, plus Trudy. I think Trudy knows too much honestly.”

She laughs again, and god he could spend the rest of his life trying to make her laugh. In fact, that’s exactly what he hopes to do.

“Speaking of meeting people,” she continues, “Missy mentioned you to my mother yesterday and she wants to meet you.”

A grin stretches across his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything. She pulls back to look at his face, to gauge his reaction, and smiles softly in response.

“You want me to meet your mom?” he asks, the delight on his face carrying over to his voice.

Her mouth screws up shyly. “My little brother will probably be there too, and Missy. Is that too much?”

He shakes his head. “Sounds perfect. But, there are some friends I’d like you to meet too, if we’re meeting people.”

“The Lone Gunmen?” she asks with a skeptical lilt.

“Those are the ones. They’re my only friends, actually. Aside from Val.” Just then, Priscilla hops up onto the couch beside them. “Oh, and you Priscilla, sorry,” he adds.

Scully smiles at the cat, and then at him. “Can I bring Missy as a human buffer?” she asks hopefully.

“Of course. You may set a record for the highest number of female visitors to their lair in a day.”

“Lair?” she asks with wide eyes.

He chuckles. “They’ll grow on you, I promise.”

[fireladybuckley]

A Thousand Knives of Ice

Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Evan Buckley (Buck) x Eddie Diaz  (Buddie) Prompt: Falling through the ice Word Count: 10,661 Summary:  While on a roadtrip through the Canadian Rockies with Eddie and Christopher, Buck attempts to rescue a child with disastrous consequences for his own safety, leaving Eddie to take charge and nurse him back to health.  Rating: PG Author’s note:  I had an absolute blast writing this!  Please let me know in the replies or reblogs if you liked it!  It’s my first Buddie fic, but will most assuredly not be my last. :D

               “You know, I think I’m actually getting used to the cold,” Buck grinned as he hopped out of the SUV, pulling a knitted toque onto his head, a few curls of hair sticking out the front.  “Maybe they’ll make me an honourary Canadian soon.”

             Eddie, who had just gotten out of the vehicle on the other side, rolled his eyes and smiled indulgently at Buck’s enthusiasm.  Less than two weeks ago at the beginning of their month-long trip, Buck had sworn he’d never be warm again and complained incessantly about the cold.

             “That’s because it’s like 2 Celsius,” Eddie laughed, slamming his door and moving around to the back of the SUV.  “It’s unseasonably warm for this time of year.”

             “What’s that in Fahrenheit again?” Buck asked, squinting through the sun and watching a raven fly past them, cawing in its deep, croaking voice.

            “35 or 36,” Eddie replied, pulling open the trunk and watching as Buck bounced on the balls of his feet, clearly itching to go and explore.

             Eddie, Buck and Christopher had been on this road trip for about ten days, driving from Alaska, down through the Canadian Rockies.  Eventually they would head back down into the USA, following the mountains down through Utah and back home to LA.  It had been a blast so far, and Eddie was never sure who was more excited every time they stopped somewhere new: Buck, or Christopher.  Buck hadn’t done much travelling when he was younger and Christopher was obsessed with mountains after doing a project on them in school the previous year, so it had seemed the perfect trip to take.  Christopher had really wanted to see the mountains in winter, so Eddie had pulled him out of school a couple of weeks early before Thanksgiving break.  Eddie knew he really shouldn’t miss so much school, but after everything Christopher had gone through last year or so with moving to California, losing his mom, the tsunami, and everything else, Eddie thought he deserved a special break.  Buck had agreed, and so they’d appealed to Bobby to let them go and flew to Anchorage, where they rented an SUV and began to drive.

             “What’s this place called?” Eddie asked as he dug around in the trunk, pulling out the sled and Christopher’s winter jacket.  He’d lost track of all the places they had stopped in the last few days, first around Jasper and now near Banff, Alberta. 

             “Lake Minnewanka,” Buck read off the nearby sign, pointing at it.  “Ooo, they have boat tours.”

             “Probably only in the summer though,”  Eddie pointed out.  “Pretty hard to boat when the lake is frozen.”

             “Ah.  Right.” Buck seemed disappointed, and Eddie was unable to resist giving him a quick hug as he came around to his side of the SUV.  

             “Sorry Buck,” Eddie chuckled, patting his shoulder.  “I promise, we’ll come back someday in the summer.” 

             Buck laughed and pulled on his jacket as Eddie moved past him to get Christopher ready.  Buck was looking around eagerly, the sight of the large dock in the distance drawing his attention.  He was aching to explore again, but he reigned himself in as he listened to Eddie talking to Christopher.

             “Ready to go down to the docks, bud?” Eddie was asking Christopher, who grinned at him but shook his head.

             “I gotta pee first, Dad,” he said, holding up an empty Gatorade bottle.  Eddie laughed and helped Christopher get out of the SUV, looking over and seeing that Buck was still staring longingly down at the lake.

             “Go ahead and look around,” Eddie told him, steadying Christopher as he stood for the first time in a couple of hours.  “We’ll be a little while.”

             “You sure?” Buck asked, reaching out and ruffling Christopher’s hair fondly, prompting a giggle from him. 

             “Yeah, go on.  We’ll meet you down there in a few.”

             “Okay!  See you soon,” Buck said, leaning over and giving Eddie a quick kiss on the cheek.  Buck stepped back and watched Eddie slowly lead Christopher towards the bathrooms and then began to walk down a long hill towards the docks, face turned upwards, letting the sun soak into his skin.  Considering it was still very much colder here than it ever was in LA, Buck was finally not feeling too cold and he smiled as he walked, thinking he could get used to this.  It was a nice change not to feel sweaty every time he went outside, though he thought he would never get used to the kind of cold they had experienced when they’d landed in Alaska, which had been in the -30s. 

             Buck slowed his walk as he stepped onto the docks, looking around.  The large lake, which curved out of sight in the distance, was surrounded by multiple mountains and the view was breathtaking.  He had seen photos of this place in the summer, when the water was turquoise with glacial dust, but now the ice made the dark blue water beneath seem cold and limitless, and in places there were streams of bubbles that had frozen into white, oblong  spheres beneath the surface.  Making a mental note to point these out to Christopher, Buck continued up one fork of the large T shaped dock, barely even noticing other people around until he heard a scream behind him.

             Buck whipped around at the sound, instantly on edge and alert, scanning the small assortment of people scattered around.  Another scream brought his focus to a small family, a woman and a young boy on the dock, looking out over the lake in horror.  Buck followed their gaze and his eyes locked on a flash of pink, which he realized a moment later was a woolen toque, not unlike the one he was wearing himself.  Adrenaline pumping through him, Buck was already running towards them as the mother screamed again.

             “Help! Someone help! She fell through!”   The mother was clearly panicking, unsure of what to do as she was torn between jumping out onto the ice herself and staying with her younger son.

             “Stay with him,” Buck ordered as he skidded to a stop beside her and looked over to see the girl floundering in the water about thirty feet away, desperately trying to grab hold of the ice and screaming.   Buck lowered his foot over the edge of the dock and found, after putting some pressure down, that the ice was solid, at least this close to the dock.   Carefully, he stepped completely off the dock, arms out for balance.

             “What’s her name?” He asked the mother as he unzipped his coat and pulled it off, intending to use it as something the girl could grab onto.

             “Molly, she’s Molly,” the woman sobbed, clinging to her younger son.  “Please save her!  I can’t swim!”

             “I’ll get her, don’t worry,” Buck told her reassuringly, already edging away from the dock, trying to be careful but also acutely aware that the girl was quickly freezing in the water. 

             About fifteen feet from the dock, Buck felt like the ice was thinning and looked down to see spiderwebs of cracks starting to splinter away from his feet.  A wave of fear shot through him and he cautiously lowered himself down to the surface of the ice, remembering from a training video long ago that it was the best way to spread his weight and not break the ice.

             “Molly, just hang on, I’m coming!” Buck called to the girl, sliding closer to her on his belly, ignoring the chill of the ice quickly sinking through his shirt.  The girl was still screaming and crying, trying to hold on to the edge of the ice she’d fallen through but kept losing her grip.  As Buck got closer he estimated she was maybe seven years old and quite small;  if he could get a good grip on her he should be able to pull her out.

             Once he was about six feet away from her, he could feel the ice moving under his weight and slowed to a stop, worried that if he went any further it would collapse under him.  Sucking in a sharp breath as some water that had slopped over the edge of the ice from her flailing soaked into his shirt and against his skin, Buck did his best to ignore the sharp stabs  of the cold and tossed his jacket towards the girl, holding on to the opposite sleeve.

             The edge of the other sleeve fell just short of the hole and Buck swore, creeping closer as slow as he dared, feeling his heart hammering in his chest as he knew the girl was in severe danger of hypothermia the longer he took.  He crept a good six inches closer, then tried to toss the jacket again, letting out a breath of relief as the other sleeve hit the water this time.

             “Grab hold of the sleeve, Molly!” he called to the girl.  “I’ll pull you up!” 

             “I c-can’t!” Molly cried, trying to grab the sleeve, but Buck could see she was losing control of her movements, her muscles no doubt completely seizing from the cold. 

             Steeling himself and thinking he was probably going to regret this, Buck began to edge closer, focusing entirely on the ice around him and the little girl’s face, every sound in the background fading, even the mother’s screams of fear.  Finally, he was only a couple of feet away and he reached out his hand, gritting his teeth as the frigid water splashed onto him, soaking his arm, splashing his face. 

             “Come on, Molly!  Grab my hand!” he shouted to her, trying to stay as far back as he could while still holding his arm out.  “You can do it!”

             Buck was about to call to her again, encourage her, but when he reached a little more, trying to move his hand closer to her without actually moving closer to her, he felt the ice crack below his chest.  Buck immediately froze, trying to decide if he should try to back up again, but he knew intrinsically that it was too late.  He knew a single moment of panic in his mind, as he heard and felt the ice under him crack again, vaguely aware that Eddie’s voice in the distance was calling his name, before the ice completely gave way under him and he was plunged into the dark, icy depths.  

             Buck’s whole body was submerged before he even had a chance to realize the ice was gone and every skin cell was screaming simultaneously in agony  from the cold.  It felt like being stabbed by a thousand knives, like being consumed by fire and ice at once and Buck momentarily couldn’t think or move, his body rigid with shock as all of his muscles seized up.

                                                              * * *

             Eddie had just gotten to the docks with Christopher when he’d seen Buck lower himself to the surface of the ice many feet from the dock and realized something bad was happening.  He’d told Christopher to stay where he was and bolted across the dock past a few other people to where the mother was crouching, holding her other child and sobbing.

             “You!  Call 9-1-1!  And please watch my kid!” Eddie ordered, spinning around and pointing at the person he’d just passed, who was watching everything proceed with a look of horror on her face, then pointing towards where Christopher sat in his sled at the edge of the lake.  She started as Eddie pointed at her, surprised to be addressed, but she nodded and immediately dug for her phone in her purse, moving towards Christopher as Eddie continued to the edge of the dock nearest the hole in the ice.

              Eddie called to Buck multiple times, trying to get his attention, but Buck seemed laser-focused on the little girl thrashing in the water and Eddie realized he wasn’t hearing him.  Adrenaline pumping through him now, Eddie looked around wildly and on the other side of the docks saw a coil of rope hanging on a mooring post where he assumed a boat was usually tied in the summer.   Eddie sprinted towards it, nearly wiping out on a slick patch of ice as he tried to stop too quickly.  The rope was frozen to the post, but with a few good pulls Eddie was able to get it free.  He hoisted it over his shoulder and sprinted back towards the other side of the dock, hoping beyond hope that he’d get back and get the rope out before the worst happened.  

Unfortunately, Eddie has just come to a stop beside the mother when the ice gave way.  Eddie screamed Buck’s name, watching, horror-struck, as Buck’s form disappeared under the surface of the water with a splash.  Fear and panic gripped Eddie’s heart as he waited, terrified, seeing no sign of Buck except his green wool hat floating to the surface.  

                                                               * * *

             Something slammed into Buck’s shoulder as he floated there, suspended a couple of feet under the water, still in shock.  The impact startled him enough that he was suddenly able to move again, and he forced his body to pump his arms so that he could right himself.  After a moment of furiously swiping his arms, his head finally broke the surface and the sound of his coughs and gasps for air reverberated around them.  

             Eddie nearly cried with relief when Buck’s head appeared above the water, and he frantically began unwinding the rope, unsticking it from itself where it was frozen in several places, desperately trying to move as fast as possible. 

             Buck, meanwhile, realized that the thing that had impacted his shoulder was the little girl’s frantically kicking legs.  He was only a few feet from her now and though his entire body still felt like it was being stabbed while simultaneously on fire, he tried his best to fall back into firefighting mode and channel his adrenaline into helping her.  Her movements were quickly weakening and he swam the distance between them, grabbing her around the waist and holding her tight to his chest.

             “I-I’ve g-got you,” he told her, trying to sound confident even though his voice was shaking as he shivered violently.  She clung to him, sobbing and shaking like a leaf, as he struggled to swim sideways towards the side of the ice, every stroke more difficult as the cold quickly ate away at his strength.

             At the edge of the ice, Buck grabbed hold of it, testing how strong it was.  It would definitely not hold his weight, but it seemed strong enough to hold hers.  Desperately kicking in an attempt to keep his blood flowing and to keep them afloat, Buck extricated the girl from around his neck.

             “I’m g-going to push you up onto the ice. You need t-to crawl to your m-mom as soon as you’re up th-there, okay?”  Buck told her firmly, trying to convey how important it was that she do as he was asking, despite his shaking voice.  She was clearly still terrified but she nodded through her trembles, and he smiled at her, trying to reassure her. 

             “You’re r-really brave.  You’ve g-got th-this!” he told her, maneuvering so he was behind her and she was facing the ice, facing the docks.  He took as deep of a breath as he could manage with his tight chest muscles, steadied his grip on her waist and hoisted her as hard as he could.  She didn’t raise up nearly as high as he’d expected her to, his muscles starting to seize up considerably from the cold, and she floundered awkwardly on the ice, her ribs stuck on the edge.  He pushed again, as hard as he could, and felt her move upwards and forward this time.   The momentum of pushing her so hard forced him back down, though, and he choked on the icy water as his head was submerged again.  The frigidity of the water over his head gave him an instant, piercing headache and he struggled to get back to the surface, shuddering as the icy water streamed from his hair down his face and neck.  The next moments were a confusing mess of flailing limbs and splashing water.  Molly accidentally kicked Buck square in the nose at one point as she tried to propel herself forward and Buck noted in vague surprise that his face was so numb he’d barely felt the impact, though seconds later felt oddly warm blood join the water pouring down his face as he rose above the surface again, coughing and spluttering.

             Finally, through joint effort, Molly was completely out of the water.  Buck grabbed hold of her feet and gave one last push as hard as he could, the momentum shoving him backwards.  She slid forward on the ice as Buck fell back into the water, his head submerging below the surface yet again.

                                                              * * *

            Eddie was practically vibrating with adrenaline and panic as he watched Buck trying to save the girl, frantically uncoiling the rope.  He finally managed to unwind it all and ran over to stand beside the mom as Buck tried valiantly to lift the girl onto the ice.  Eddie watched helplessly as Buck had to keeping pushing her upwards, forcing himself back under the water several times in his attempts.   Eddie called Buck’s name again, but Buck didn’t hear him. 

             Quickly and expertly, Eddie tied a large loop in the rope, knotting it tightly.   He slid the loop around his shoulders to make sure it was large enough that Buck could get it over his own and pulled it off, satisfied that it would be the right size.   He urged the mom and her son to move away and planted himself firmly on the dock, knowing he’d get better traction here than on the ice, as much as he desperately wanted to rush forward onto the ice and save them.

             “BUCK!” Eddie yelled in fear and dismay, watching as Buck managed to get the girl up onto the ice, but then disappeared below the surface yet again.  Shaking himself, Eddie wound up and threw the loop towards the girl, who gave a little yelp of fright as it landed right in front of her face.

             “Sorry!  Grab the rope, sweetheart!” Eddie called, trying to focus on the girl while also watching the water, waiting for Buck to resurface.  Molly managed to get an arm through the loop and held on as tight as she could as Eddie began pulling her in.  She was light, even with her sodden winter clothing, and she slid quickly across the ice towards them as he pulled.

             Within moments she was right beside the docks and Eddie reached down to pick her up, looking out at the water at the same time.   The cold water from her jacket stung his hands as he set her down beside her mother, fear gripping him.   Buck had been under too long.  Eddie was just starting to think he might have passed out and was about to leap onto the ice without another though when Buck’s head finally reappeared, and Eddie could hear him gasping and coughing.  Both relief and intense worry set his body alight as he turned to the mother and tried to instruct her as fast as he could. 

             “Get her to your car and get all of her wet clothes off.  Wrap her in a blanket or warm, dry clothes but don’t warm her up too fast or she could go into cardiac arrest.  The paramedics should be here really soon.”

             The woman nodded, clutching her sobbing daughter to her side.  She picked Molly up and began to run along the dock and towards the parking lot, her son trailing behind her.  Eddie spared a momentary glance to make sure Christopher was still sitting where he’d left him, the woman with the cell phone beside him, then turned back to the ice.

             “Buck!  BUCK! Can you hear me?”  Eddie yelled as he gathered up the rope and began to wind it again so he could throw it out to Buck, who was just barely clinging to the edge of the ice and looked like death, even from this distance.

                                                              * * *

             It had been very hard, that last time, to get himself back to the surface.  Buck had been in the water for at least seven minutes by then and his muscles were so stiff he could barely move.  The sensation of a million knives stabbing his skin had slowly been replaced by a numbness so complete he felt like he was barely in his own body anymore.  He’d stopped shivering and struggled to find which way was up.  He swallowed some water as he ran out of breath just as he’d finally broke the surface, coughing violently and choking on the water, awkwardly trying to keep himself afloat and keep his head above water.  He tried to hold on to the edge of the ice, but he couldn’t feel his hands and everything was so slippery that he kept losing his grip, forced to clumsily tread water with his rapidly stiffening limbs.

             It was several moments before Buck realized he could hear Eddie’s voice calling to him and looked around, finally seeing Eddie’s form on the docks a good way away.  Buck’s brain seemed to be lagging behind, processing things slowly, but he eventually managed to focus on Eddie as he clung to the edge of the ice, forcing himself to kick every so often to stop himself completely sinking under the water again.  Buck attempted to heave himself upwards, but he had used so much of his energy getting the girl out that he had none left to hoist himself.

             “I’m going to throw you the rope!”  Eddie shouted, worriedly watching as Buck clumsily tried to hold onto the ice but kept slipping off, everything too slicked with water to hold his grip.  “Put it under your arms!”

             Buck tried to call back to him but felt like he couldn’t get enough air to speak, so he gave a weak thumbs up, letting out a soft cry as he lost his grip on the ice once more and fell back, spluttering as a wave of frigid water splashed over his head.

             Eddie bit his lip in worry and determination and launched the rope with a practiced swing.  It unfurled beautifully in the air, but stopped many feet short of the hole on the ice.  Swearing, Eddie pulled it back as fast as he could, winding as he went, realizing he was going to have to step onto the ice for the rope to get close enough.  The girl had gotten much closer to him before he’d thrown it the first time.

             Buck was rapidly losing control of his muscles as he tried to keep himself afloat.  His arms and legs were so stiff it took all of his effort to move them, all of his brain power to remind himself to kick to keep his head above water.   The only thing that kept pulling his attention was the feeling of the blood still pouring out of his nose.  He was too numb to feel the pain, but his blood felt sickeningly hot as it trickled out of his nose, dripping onto his lips and chin.   He tried to keep wiping it away, but the stark contrast of the scarlet blood on his pale fingers made his stomach churn.

             Eddie could see that Buck was having difficulty holding on and felt his hands shaking as he finished reeling in the rope.  As he adjusted his grip to throw again, he could see Buck slowly tipping backwards as he fruitlessly tried to grip the ice, and Eddie worried that he was starting to black out.

             “Kick, Buck!” Eddie shouted, winding up to throw the rope again.  “You can do this!”

             Relieved as Buck clearly heard him and sluggishly righted himself in the water, Eddie stepped onto the ice and crept a few feet forward, stopping only when he was sure there was enough rope to reach.  He planted his feet as firmly as he could, swung, and released the rope.   Thankfully, this time the rope landed right in front of Buck on the edge of the ice.

             “Grab it!  Under your arms!” Eddie yelled, trying to encourage Buck, who looked absolutely bedraggled and exhausted.   Eddie’s heart broke for him as Buck tried valiantly to grab at the rope and missed several times before his stiff fingers finally caught on the thick cord. 

             Buck tried as hard as he could to be fast, but his muscles were so stiff he could barely lift the rope once he got a grip on it.  He couldn’t feel his fingers or his hands at all, so maneuvering the rope was difficult.  He managed to get it around his neck and under one of his armpits, but he was having trouble bending his other arm enough to thread it up through the loop.  He could hear Eddie shouting encouragement at him, noticed the tone to the words becoming more frantic the longer it took him to move.

             Finally, after another minute or so, Buck managed to get both arms through the loop and settled it under his armpits.  Eddie immediately began to pull until he felt resistance, as Buck’s chest bumped up against the ice.  Buck reached out slowly, achingly, trying to pull himself up, not having a lot of luck.  Some of the ice broke under the weight of his arms and he cried out as a fresh wave washed over him.

             “Come on Buck, kick! You can do this,” Eddie called to him, his voice cracking slightly with emotion as he watched Buck struggle to the new edge.  “I love you, I’m right here, you can do this!”

             Buck looked up at Eddie through the haze of pain and exhaustion, trying to draw strength from his words.  He could see that Eddie, the man he loved, was clearly scared out of his mind and worried for him, and he knew that somewhere, Christopher was probably scared too.  The thought of the two of them filled him with metaphorical warmth, and he felt a last wave of strength and determination wash over him.

             As Eddie yelled “Pull, Buck!” and tugged on the rope, Buck let out a shout of determination, pain, and anguish and heaved himself upwards as hard as he could, clinging to the rope, using every ounce of his remaining energy.  He heard Eddie let out a whoop of relief as Buck managed to get his elbows out of the water and prop himself on the surface of the ice, which mercifully held him this time.  Eddie dug his heels in and began to pull, hard, nearly slipping on the ice himself but just managing to stay upright. 

“Kick! Kick as much as you can, Buck!” Eddie yelled, his muscles straining as he pulled.

             After an enormous amount of effort on both of their parts, Buck’s upper body finally left the water and he splayed out on the ice on his belly, drops of crimson blood hitting the surface under his face.  Eddie kept pulling, taking a few steps backwards as he did so until he was at the dock’s edge.  He hopped back up onto the wooden surface so he would have better traction and then began to pull Buck in as fast as he could.  Buck was too weak to help, too weak to do much of anything but attempt to hold on to the rope as he was dragged forward, leaving a wide swath of water shining on the surface of the ice behind him.  It felt like hours were passing as he moved across the surface a few inches at a time, and eventually he felt so weak that his head drooped, resting on his outstretched arm.

             “Buck!” Eddie cried when he saw Buck’s head loll, thinking he had passed out, but then Buck moved his legs on his own and he realized he was still conscious.  Still, spurred on by the fright, Eddie pulled as hard as he could, sweat pouring down his face from the effort, and finally Buck was within reach.

             Someone he hadn’t noticed nearby rushed forward and helped him pull Buck up onto the dock and Eddie hit his knees on the wood, pulling Buck into his lap, barely feeling the shock of the cold water soaking into his pants.  Eddie was unable to stop himself touching Buck’s face, pushing his sopping hair out of his eyes, putting his hand around Buck’s head and tilting it towards his, his hands shaking with relief.   Buck moaned, taking fast, shallow breaths, mostly limp in Eddie’s arms, his eyes firmly closed as he stirred feebly. 

             “Buck, Buck!  Stay with me,” Eddie pleaded, as Buck’s eyes refused to open and he moaned softly again, once again scared that he had lost consciousness.  As though through sheer force of will, Buck’s eyelids fluttered weakly and then slowly opened, and his gaze met Eddie’s. 

             “Eddie,” Buck murmured, his voice so soft and breathless Eddie barely heard it.  It wasn’t a question, more like an acknowledgement and Eddie felt tears well in his eyes at how broken Buck sounded.  Eddie stroked Buck’s cheek and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his frozen lips, so thankful to be holding him again that he momentarily forgot everything else.   He hadn’t realized just how scared he’d been until this moment, holding Buck in his arms.  

Eddie had almost lost Buck so many times already; in the fire truck explosion, in the tsunami; hell he’d almost gotten taken out by a driverless, flaming car careening down a hill when they’d gone to Texas.  Almost losing him again had terrified Eddie so thoroughly that his hands now shook uncontrollably as he stroked Buck’s hair, whispering to him that he was okay, that he had him, that he would be just fine.  Buck’s eyes slowly closed again and his head rested heavily on Eddie’s chest, still regularly letting out small gasps for air, clearly unable to take a proper breath.

             After a moment, Eddie shook himself; Buck needed care right now, not emotions.  Swallowing the lump in his throat and blinking back the tears in his eyes, Eddie got to work.  First, he reached down and began tugging Buck’s sodden forest-green sweater off of him, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside.  Buck moaned as his bare skin was exposed to the air, and Eddie shushed him gently, reassuringly.  Eddie quickly stripped off his own jacket and button-up t-shirt, leaving him in just a tank top.  He quickly used his t-shirt to dry off as much of Buck’s skin as he could, feeling horrible for him, his skin icy cold everywhere Eddie touched.  Once he was as dry as Eddie could get him with the t-shirt, he carefully sat Buck up, drying his back as much as possible as well.

             Buck groaned as Eddie sat him up, feeling all his stiff muscles resisting the movement, but he did his best to help stay upright as he felt Eddie pulling his arm into a jacket sleeve.  It was a weird sensation; he could see Eddie pulling the fabric over his arms, but he could barely feel anything.  His skin felt like cold stone, unresponsive to touch.  He could kind of feel the weight of the jacket once it was properly settled on him, but couldn’t really feel the touch of the fabric on his skin.     

             “Come on, Buck, we have to get you up,” Eddie said encouragingly, bending over in front of Buck and reaching for him.  Buck whimpered involuntarily as he clung to Eddie’s arms and Eddie all but picked him up, Buck’s muscles screaming in protest.  He nearly fell over as soon as he was standing, his knees buckling instantly under his weight. 

Buck was breathing fast and shallow and felt dizzy as hell as he teetered on the spot; the only reason he didn’t collapse was because Eddie was holding onto him.  Eddie wrapped his arm around Buck’s waist and pulled Buck’s arm up behind his neck, supporting the vast majority of Buck’s weight as his legs refused to do the job.  With a lot of encouragement Buck was able to shuffle forwards, and Eddie half-carried, half-dragged him slowly along the dock.  He glanced back only once, vaguely noting that Buck’s jacket was laying on the ice, then looking away, focusing instead on where he could see Christopher still sitting on his sled, the woman he’d had call 9-1-1 still standing on the shore beside him.

             It took many long minutes to get Buck even close to the edge of the dock; the farther they moved, the more heavily Buck leaned on Eddie, what little strength he had very quickly leaving him.  Eddie shivered slightly in the cold breeze and felt instantly guilty;  if he was cold in his mostly dry tank top, how the hell did Buck feel?   Eddie’s head and heart suddenly lifted as he heard sirens approaching, and a moment later, an ambulance pulled into view at the top of the hill and parked, killing the sirens.

             “Eddie,” Buck muttered, speaking to the ground because he could barely lift his head, his speech slurred. “Need to stop.  Can’t feel my legs.”

             “Just a few more steps,” Eddie told him, tightening his grip on Buck’s waist and pulling him along.  They were almost to the end of the dock, and there was a bench on the shore that Eddie could sit Buck down on for a moment, just until the paramedics got down there.  Eddie saw the mother waving at the medics and they went over to her car first, where he could just barely see a small figure wrapped in a blanket.

             Buck groaned but did his best to obey, shuffling forward like an old man, his grip on Eddie getting looser instead of tighter as his energy waned and he came dangerously close to collapsing.  They had barely made it to the bench when Buck stumbled and began to fall.  Eddie managed to steer Buck to the side and he collapsed on the bench instead of the ground, Eddie losing his footing as well and nearly falling again.

             “Dad!” Christopher shouted at him as he righted himself, and Eddie realized he’d be so focused on Buck he hadn’t heard his kid calling to him.  “Is Buck okay?”

             “Yeah, mijo, he’s okay.” Eddie made sure that Buck was securely lying on the bench before turning to the woman whom he’d asked to watch Christopher.

             “Thank you so much, I really appreciate you watching him,” he told her gratefully, the stress and mounting worry evident in his voice.  She smiled grimly at him with a nod, then looked over at Buck.

             “Is he okay?” she asked, in a very different tone than Christopher, and Eddie knew she thought he’d been sugar coating it for his kid.

             “He will be, he just needs to warm up and get a lot of rest,” Eddie said, running a damp hand through his hair.  “Can I ask you one more favour?”

             “Of course.”

             “Can you go up there and tell the medics they need to come down here too?  In case the mom forgets.”  Eddie didn’t blame her if she did;  if it was Christopher who had fallen in the water, he would have been laser-focused on him too.

             “Absolutely,” she agreed, nodding.  She started to turn away, then looked back at him with a smile.  “Tell your husband he’s a hero, when he’s feeling better.”  

              Eddie found himself smiling at this, feeling his heart swell as he thought of Buck.  The brave idiot had scared the shit out of him once again, but Eddie swore it only made him love him more.

              “Not husband yet,” he said, looking over at Buck, who was still lying where he’d fallen on the bench, “but don’t worry, I plan on telling him the second he’s coherent.”

              The woman smiled and turned to make her way up the hill, and Eddie pulled Christopher’s sled closer to the bench, sinking down onto it beside Buck.  He gently pulled Buck onto his lap, half-sitting him up so he could lean on Eddie’s chest, holding him close as they waited. Buck gave a very soft gasp followed by a moan and turned his face towards Eddie’s chest, he soaked hair leaving a wet spot on Eddie’s tank top.

              “Did Buck save that girl?”  Christopher asked, pointing in the direction of the water, and then the parking lot.

              “Yeah, he did,” Eddie told him, squeezing Buck to acknowledge him.  Buck, while still conscious, had his eyes closed, and Eddie got the impression he wasn’t really hearing them.  Eddie slipped his fingers down to Buck’s throat and surreptitiously took his pulse as he explained to Christopher a sanitized version of what had happened.   

            Buck’s pulse was slow, slower than he’d expected, and Eddie swore inwardly, worried that he’d progressed beyond light hypothermia into moderate, which was much more problematic.  Eddie looked around to see if the woman had reached the medics yet, and was pleased to see the two paramedics already leading a stretcher down the hill, the woman standing at the top and watching their progress.  She saw Eddie looking and waved, and he waved back, beyond grateful for her help.

              The medics got to them quickly and Eddie briefed them on what had happened.  Buck seemed to have stopped making any effort to sit up or move by that point, so Eddie helped the medics lift him onto the stretcher.  Once he was settled they strapped him in and Eddie gave his cold cheek another stroke before they started to push the stretcher up the hill.  Eddie nearly went with them without a second thought, remembering at the last moment that he still had to get Christopher back up the hill too.  

            Eddie said some words of reassurance to his son, who was upset at seeing Buck being wheeled away on a stretcher, though he wasn’t even sure what he had said as he started to pull Christopher’s sled, following the medics up the hill.  He, too, was upset at seeing Buck being wheeled away, the nightmare of the fire truck explosion and Buck’s crushed leg flickering in his mind as he walked, and it was hard for him to think of anything else.

              When they got to the top of the hill, Eddie saw the medics were checking Buck’s vitals and so hurried over to their SUV.

              “Are you okay to wait here, mijo?” Eddie asked, lifting Christopher up and placing him gently into the backseat.  “I want to go and make sure Buck’s okay.”

              “Yes Dad,” Christopher said softly.   “Tell him I love him.”

              “I will.” Eddie kissed Christopher’s forehead, made sure the engine was running and the heat was on so he wouldn’t get cold, then closed the door and headed back over to the ambulance.

              Buck seemed slightly more coherent, his eyes heavy-lidded but open and trying to speak to the medics, though his words were still slurred and his voice very quiet.  He was visibly relieved when Eddie came into his line of vision and let out a small sigh, looking plaintively up at Eddie.

              “I thought you left,” Buck whispered, weakly reaching for Eddie’s hand.  Eddie, feeling his heart break even more and guilt kick at his insides, pulled Buck’s hand to his face, kissed the back of it gently, then wrapped both of his hands around it. 

              “Of course not,” Eddie told him firmly.  “Never.  I just had to get Christopher into the car.  He says he loves you, by the way.”

              “Love him too,” Buck mumbled, his eyes drifting closed for a moment before he forced them open again.  “He okay?”

              Eddie shook his head, exhaling in both exasperation and a soft, disbelieving laugh.  Even in this state; so cold he could barely move or speak, blood still dripping sluggishly from his nose, icy hair plastered to his head, all Buck could think about was other people.

              “He’s fine, Buck.  He’s just worried about you.  I am too.”

              The medics spoke up at that point, telling Eddie that Buck was stable but that he should get checked out anyway, and asking if they wanted transport to the hospital.

              “What about Molly?” Buck asked, his voice breaking as he attempted to speak.  Neither medic heard him properly, so Eddie repeated his question for him.

              “We advised the mother to take her to hospital.”

              Buck and Eddie both looked over at the car next to the ambulance.  The mother was sitting sideways in the passenger seat with the door open, her daughter sitting in her lap, wrapped in a blanket.  The mother was obviously still extremely distraught, still crying, her hands shaking as she clutched her daughter closely. 

              “Take her instead,” Buck said immediately, his voice a little louder this time, a little more firm.  Seeing the mother so scared and upset seemed to give him some strength, and Eddie squeezed his hand.

              “Buck, you need to go to the hospital,” Eddie told him, though he could already tell by the look in Buck’s eyes that Buck would literally argue this until he passed out from exhaustion if he had to.  Sighing, Eddie rubbed his eyes, feeling a distinct pain in his head behind them as the medics reiterated to Buck that he needed to go to the hospital. 

              “My boyfriend is a medic,” Buck insisted, trying to sit up, clumsily pulling at the strap over his chest.  “He can take care of me.”

              Eddie sighed again, but knew there was no point arguing.  Plus, he had to agree with Buck’s assessment of the mother of the girl.

              “Look, he’s right,” Eddie said, gesturing to the car beside them.  “She’s in no fit state to drive.  Take the girl, I can bring Buck to the hospital myself.”

              “I don’t need the hospital,” Buck told him, but since he spoke so quietly it was easy for Eddie to pretend he hadn’t heard.  The paramedics looked at each other a bit uneasily.

              “Are you sure?  He should really get checked out as soon as possible.”

              “I’ll bring him straight to the hospital,” Eddie promised, ignoring Buck’s wordless noise of protest.  The medics had Buck sign a form declining care, and one of the medics began to unstrap him as the other approached the mother.  

            Eddie suddenly felt the enormity of all of this slam into him at once as he watched the paramedic undoing Buck’s leg straps  and felt unbearably exhausted, actually having to shift his weight to stop himself falling over.  Seeing Buck on this stretcher like this, blood on his face, his hair plastered to his head, paler than Eddie had ever seen before; it was suddenly more than Eddie could handle.  Goosebumps erupted on his bare arms as a cold breeze ruffled his hair and made the water on his shirt feel even colder, but Eddie refused to let his feelings get the better of him and took a few deep breaths, looking away from Buck for a moment and shoving away his weakness into a dark corner of his mind.  Buck needed him to be strong, capable Eddie right now and that’s what he was going to get. 

              Eddie helped Buck sit up and then carefully held him tight as he stood, his legs still as weak and wobbly as before, but at least they didn’t have the daunting hill stretching before them this time.  It was easy enough for Eddie to lead Buck to the SUV, and once he was settled in the front seat, Eddie quickly dug through their suitcase in the back until he found a dry sweater for Buck, tossing the wet one in a corner of the trunk.   He helped Buck take off his jacket and get the sweater on, as it would warm him better than the jacket, pulling the coat back on himself before hurrying over to the driver’s seat.     

              “I don’t need to go to the hospital,” Buck said almost immediately as Eddie got into the vehicle and closed his door, tossing the key hub into the dash tray. Eddie reached over past Buck and pulled his seatbelt down, buckling him in, ignoring the look Buck was giving him. 

              “You’re going to the hospital,” Eddie said, pulling out of the parking space and driving off. 

              “Eddie, I’m fine,” Buck said in a pleading tone, his voice cracking.  “Please… I really don’t want to go.”

              Buck tone was one of desperation and Eddie glanced over at him for a moment as he waited to turn onto the highway.  Buck looked very upset, and Eddie could only imagine what he was going through as all the memories of hospital visits in the past rushed through his head. Eddie didn’t blame him for not wanting to add another one, especially in another country.  Especially when they were on vacation.  But still, Eddie was worried about him.

              “Buck, you were in that water for a long time,” Eddie said, unable to banish the uncertainty from his voice, shaking his head as he pulled out onto the highway and began to accelerate back towards the townsite. 

              “And you’ll take care of me.  Right?”  Eddie glanced sideways to see Buck give him a ghost of a smile and sighed as he felt his will crumbling, rolling his eyes at his own weakness.  He was quiet for a while, going over Buck’s symptoms in his mind, well aware that Buck was still looking at him.

              “Fine,” Eddie relented, and sensed rather than saw Buck sag with relief.  “But with a caveat,” Eddie continued immediately.  “If you feel worse or get any new symptoms you have to tell me, and it will be up to my discretion whether we get you checked out or not.  Got it?”

              “Okay,” Buck agreed in a small, breathy voice, leaning back against the seat, clearly exhausted.  Now that they were on the highway at a stable speed, Eddie let go of the steering wheel with one hand and reached for Buck’s, wrapping his warm fingers around Buck’s frigid ones.  Buck made a soft noise that Eddie wasn’t entirely sure was happy or sleepy, but either way, Eddie held Buck’s hand until they had to turn off the highway about twenty minutes later.  Their hotel was thankfully very close to the turnoff, and Eddie parked, darted in to check in, and then came back out.

              Eddie realized Buck had fallen asleep in the front seat and Eddie hopped back into the driver’s seat, reaching across to take Buck’s wrist.   Eddie settled two fingers over his pulse point and counted, satisfied that the rate was higher than it had been before, which hopefully meant he was stabilizing.  After watching Buck sleep for a moment with a small smile on his face, Eddie decided to take Christopher up to the room first, not having the heart to disturb the poor guy just yet. 

              Fifteen minutes later, Eddie had brought Christopher and all the luggage up to the room and came back for Buck, who was still sleeping peacefully in the warm SUV.  Eddie opened Buck’s door and slipped a hand up to Buck’s neck, gently stroking there before moving upwards and stroking his cheek gently instead, trying not to startle him.  He noticed that Buck had started shivering again and was glad; it meant he was slowly getting warmer.

              “Buck, come on,” Eddie said in a gentle, quiet voice as Buck stirred, slowly opening his eyes and blinking sluggishly at Eddie.  “Let’s get you upstairs.”

              Buck was very sleepy and still weak, so Eddie took his sweet time helping Buck out of the car and into the building, into the elevator and down the hall a short ways to their room, attracting a curious glance or two from the couple of people they passed. 

             Without telling Buck, Eddie had upgraded their basic room to a King Deluxe suite, so there was a separate master bedroom with a king sized bed and a wonderful ensuite bathroom, with a double bed in the living room for Christopher.  Buck looked around in faint surprise as Eddie led him into the room, smiling weakly as Christopher cheered their arrival and waved.   Christopher immediately got up and padded over to them, wrapping his arms around Buck’s middle as Buck steadied himself on the wall so he didn’t fall over onto him.

              “Glad you’re okay, Buck,” Christopher said into Buck’s sweater, and Buck smiled, weakly rubbing his back, his hands trembling.

              “Thanks b-buddy.  I’m g-glad too.”

              Eddie got Christopher settled in front of the TV again with a snack and led an exhausted, shuddering Buck into their bedroom, closing the door behind them. 

              “We need to warm you gradually,” Eddie said, as he noticed Buck looking longingly over at the large jacuzzi tub.   “No hot bath until you’re at a stable temperature for a while.” 

              Buck sank sadly down onto the bed, hoping he would at least be allowed to sleep if he wasn’t allowed to have a bath or go in the hot tub.  His shivers were unending and Buck stared down at his shaking hands, his eyes slowly closing even as he sat there.  

            Eddie came over with a warm, wet cloth and took Buck’s face in one hand, gently dabbing at the drying blood on Buck’s skin with the cloth until it was clean, his touch as light as possible to avoid hurting him.  Buck let out a soft noise of distress and pressed his cheek into Eddie’s hand.

              “Come on, let’s get those wet clothes off of you,” Eddie said placatingly, giving Buck’s cheek a stroke before tossing aside the cloth and helping Buck take off his soaked boots, socks, pants and boxers. As much as Eddie wanted to comfort Buck, getting him warm was more important.  

             Eddie helped Buck into a pair of warm, dry underwear, and then pulled back the blanket on the bed.  Confused, Buck was too weak to protest as Eddie gently pulled Buck’s shirt off, Buck immediately crossing his arms over his pecs in an attempt to feel warmer. 

 “What are you-” Buck started, watching with growing confusion as Eddie peeled his own t-shirt off, leaving him bare chested. 

              “Body heat is the best way to gradually warm someone,” Eddie explained, flashing a brilliant smile at Buck that would have made him weak in the knees had he not already been weak in the knees.   “Come on.  We have an hour until Christopher’s movie is over.”

              Buck smiled faintly as Eddie helped him lie down, his body feeling extremely heavy the moment he was horizontal.  He was absolutely exhausted, and his eyes were already closed by the time Eddie joined him in bed and pulled the blanket over them. 

              Eddie let out a loud, involuntary gasp as he pulled Buck close, Buck’s chilled skin pressing against Eddie’s warm chest, the chill shocking him more than he’d expected.  Buck let out a very small laugh at the sound of his gasp, and Eddie felt Buck relax in his arms as he snuggled up against Eddie’s front.

              Within a few minutes, Buck began to shiver harder.  Buck whimpered and Eddie held him even closer as he shook, his whole body twitching.  Eddie had been expecting this, but clearly Buck hadn’t, if the way he curled up tightly against Eddie’s chest was any indication.

              “W-why n-now?” Buck asked, shivering so violently he could barely speak, his teeth chattering and his hands trembling as he reached up to push his hair off of his forehead.

              “Because before you were too hypothermic to even shiver,” Eddie explained, leaning forward and kissing Buck on the forehead, reaching up to stroke his hair.  “I know it feels shitty, but I promise it’s a good thing.  It means you’re warming up.”

              Buck let out a small groan and ducked his head, resting it on Eddie’s arm, letting out a long, shaky breath.  Eddie pulled Buck to his chest and held him close as he trembled, as he let out small gasps and moans as the shivers wracked his body.  Eddie’s heart felt like it physically hurt as he listened to Buck’s ragged breathing, his weak gasps and whimpers as the convulsions continued. Eddie wished nothing more than to be able to take away the horrible feeling from him, to be able to protect Buck from everything in the world. 

              “You’re a hero, you know that?” Eddie murmured after a while into Buck’s damp hair, kissing the top of his head.  “You saved that little girl.”

              “You w-would’ve d-done the s-same,” Buck replied shakily in a muffled voice, his head still tucked down against the crook of Eddie’s shoulder.   Eddie shrugged.

              “Yeah, but I didn’t.  You did.”

              “O-only because you w-weren’t th-there f-first,” Buck protested, and Eddie laughed softly, kissing Buck’s forehead again.

              “Just take the compliment, Buck,” Eddie said in quiet exasperation, shaking his head.  “You’re a damn hero.”

              Buck didn’t say anything else, but Eddie felt him smile against his bicep.   Eddie kept up a slow, gentle stroking of Buck’s back to comfort him and within a few moments, Eddie felt Buck’s weight press more heavily into him.   He continued to shiver, but not as intensely, and Eddie could tell that he’d fallen asleep.  Knowing that he’d likely be out for a while, Eddie gently extricated himself, gave Buck a quick kiss and covered him with the blanket, tucking it all around him so he was nice and snug. 

              Eddie pulled a long-sleeved shirt on and headed out into the living room so Christopher didn’t feel abandoned, watching the rest of the movie with him and playing a round of Kids’ Trivial Pursuit with him.  A couple of hours later, Christopher was cheering his victory against Eddie when Eddie heard Buck’s soft voice calling.  Eddie laughed, ruffling Christopher’s hair, and hurried off to check on Buck while Christopher reset the game.

              “How are you doing, Buck?”  Eddie asked, coming into the room to see Buck propped up on the pillows, looking somewhat more alert than he had. 

              “S-still c-cold,” Buck shivered, pulling the blanket up to his bare shoulders.  “B-but I’m h-hungry and don’t want to l-lie here anymore.”

              Eddie smiled and came over to Buck’s side of the bed, sitting down and taking Buck’s hand, sliding his fingers over Buck’s pulse once more.   Buck looked at him with a bit of a sad, vulnerable expression on his face, which melted Eddie’s heart and made it hard to concentrate.  He was pleased to feel that Buck’s heart rate had increased again and felt stronger than it did before. 

              “Come on.  Let’s get you some food,” Eddie said once he was done, shifting to take Buck’s hand and pull him into a standing position, realizing belatedly that he was still mostly naked.

              “I sh-should probably p-put some c-clothes on,” Buck said, crossing his arms over his chest again to try and keep warm as the cool air of the room wafted over his skin. “D-don’t want to scar C-christopher.”

              “Right,” laughed Eddie, rifling through their suitcases and finding Buck some sweatpants, a t-shirt and a hoodie and helping him get dressed.   Once he was dressed and standing unsteadily by the bed, Eddie took his hand to lead him out into the other room.

              “Wait,” Buck said, as Eddie started to pull him forward.  Eddie stopped, turning back to him curiously.  “I… I didn’t get to say anything b-back there, but I h-heard what you said.” 

              “What do you mean?” Eddie asked, though he thought he knew.  Back when he was trying to pull Buck in, when he was trying to encourage him, he’d been shouting all kinds of things, not even really aware of what he’d been saying, though he suspected he knew what he’d said. 

              “You… you said you love me.”  Buck said quietly, biting his lower lip a little, suddenly bashful.  “Did… did you mean that?  O-or was it just because you were afraid I w-was dying?”

              Eddie looked down at him for a moment, thoughtful, then reached up with both of his hands and took Buck’s face gently in them.  Eddie leaned in as Buck’s eyes fluttered closed and pressed his lips to Buck’s, stroking Buck’s cheeks with his thumbs as he kissed him.  Eddie felt Buck melt into his embrace and smiled into the kiss, slowly pulling away many moments later and looking down as Buck’s eyes opened to meet his.

              “I love you,” Eddie said simply with a light shrug, smiling and taking Buck’s hand once more.  Buck seemed momentarily stunned, but then his face lit up, his grin nearly as bright as it usually was despite his continued shivering.

              “I love you too.”

                                                            * * *

              A few days later, Buck was enthusiastically ready to leave the hotel once again.  He had slept a lot over the last few days, and he hadn’t stopped shivering until well into the night the day of the incident.  Eddie had extended their stay by a few days so Buck could rest, and he’d been alternating between sleeping in the king-sized bed with Eddie or napping on the couch, often with Christopher snuggled up beside him, watching (or sleeping through) a movie.  They played board games several times, as Buck could sit, wrapped in a blanket, and be perfectly comfortable.  Eddie had taken a quick trip to a nearby grocery store for snacks and had been ordering meals so that Buck didn’t overtax himself going out, which was nice the first two days but was starting to irk him by the third, as he was starting to feel a little suffocated.  

            The only major downside to his recovery had been discovering how sensitive his skin was after being so cold for so long, especially his fingers.  When Eddie had finally cleared him to have a nice warm bath, Buck had yelped as he sank into the water and submerged his hands; they felt like they were burning, the same sensation as having a hot shower with a sunburn. This meant the hot tub was out of the question and Buck had sulked about that for a while, wanting nothing more than to submerge himself in hot, bubbly water. 

              Thankfully, the sensitivity had subsided over the last few days and now they were, finally, heading out for a day’s sightseeing.  Their first trip was to a nearby hot springs, on Buck’s insistence that he was better.  It was snowing and the effect was magical as they watched the snow melt as it hit the steamy barrier floating up from the springs pool.  Christopher was mesmerized and Buck was mostly just pleased that he was able to soak without (much) pain, finally feeling like his old self again.  

            The only obvious sign that anything had happened was the purple bruises under either of his eyes from when the girl had kicked him in the nose.  Eddie had insisted that they weren’t as obvious as they felt, but Buck still felt self conscious about them, trying to avoid looking people in the eyes when he met them.  It also made kissing Eddie a little more difficult; Eddie’s nose had accidentally bumped his despite Eddie being as careful as possible just that morning and the sudden pain had taken Buck’s breath away. 

             Buck and Eddie followed behind Christopher as he led them up and down the town’s main street, going in and out of gift shops, buying souvenirs and fudge, getting an ice cream from a famous ice cream shop, even though it was cold outside.  Eddie pulled Buck into an outdoor supplies shop and bought him a comfortable new jacket and a teal knitted toque like the one he’d lost, getting both Christopher and himself the same hat to match, upon Christopher’s excited request.

             They stopped to have lunch at a cute little pub with great Irish food and were just stepping away from the door when something collided with Buck’s leg.  Buck looked down in surprise to see a young girl, who threw her arms around his waist.  He looked around, confused, until he saw the girl’s mother approaching with her small son in tow, and realized this must be the girl he’d pulled from the water.

             “Hi Molly,” Buck said, smiling, patting her on the back as she clung to him.  She said nothing, but her grip on his waist tightened as he said her name.

             “I’m so sorry we didn’t get to thank you the other day,” the mother said to him as she came level with them.  “Thank you so much.  I can’t even begin to repay you for what you did, you nearly died for a little girl you’ve never even met.”

             “It’s alright, ma’am,” Buck said, feeling his face flush as he felt rather than saw both Christopher and Eddie watching them.

             “We’re firefighters,” Buck said, gesturing to Eddie and himself.  “It’s what we do, I didn’t think anything of it.”

             “Cool!” The little boy behind his mother poked his head around her side to stare at Buck and Eddie.  “I wanna be a firefighter when I grow up!”

             Eddie grinned and high fived the little boy, who seemed star struck to meet two real-life firefighters.  They spoke with the mother and her kids for several minutes, until Christopher started to shift uncomfortably, feeling cold from standing in one place for too long.

             “Well, we won’t take any more of your time,” the woman, Eleanor, said.  “Thank you, again.  Both of you.  If there’s anything I can ever do to help you in any way, please, don’t hesitate to call.” 

             Eleanor pressed a business card into Buck’s hand so he would have her phone number and peeled Molly from Buck’s side, where she still was, refusing to let go. 

             “Thank you,” Molly said in a tiny voice, looking up at him, before dashing back towards her mother and hiding behind her, suddenly shy.  Buck laughed, then waved as they walked away, Molly looking back him several times and giving him a small wave before they disappeared around the corner.

             “Told you,” Eddie said, taking Buck’s hand as they walked slowly in the opposite direction back towards their car.  “You’re a hero.”

             Buck felt himself blushing again as he tried to wave off Eddie’s words, but as Christopher cheered in agreement and Eddie pulled him over to give him a kiss, Buck had to admit it felt pretty good to know that he’d saved that girl and he was no worse for wear besides the bruises on his face.

             “Fine, fine,” Buck said gruffly after Eddie had pulled away from the kiss as Christopher let out an “ewwww!” and they all laughed. 

             They got back to the car and Buck helped Christopher into the back seat, buckling him up before closing the door.   Buck turned around to see a squirrel bounding across the sidewalk right near him and watched, wrapping his arms around his chest as he shivered a bit in the cold air, even though he was in his snug new jacket. 

             “I thought you were an honourary Canadian?” Eddie teased, coming around the side of the car to see what he was looking at.

             “I was, until I spent twelve minutes in a freezing lake,” Buck lamented, and Eddie made a noise somewhere between concern and a laugh.  “I will never complain about being too warm in LA ever again.”

             Eddie actually laughed then, and clapped Buck on the back.  They both jumped into the SUV, Buck behind the steering wheel this time as Christopher excitedly asked where they were headed now.  They’d had quite the misadventure here but they were ready to continue on their journey as a family, just the three of them.  

                                                         * * * 

Thank you so much for reading!  Please let me know what you thought!

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Tag list:  @outside-the-government​​ @littlecarowrites​​ @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse​​ @stormsnevercometostay​​ @southernbellestatues  @mad-girl-without-a-box​​ @reading-in-moonlight​

[marveloussupernerd]

Please Just... Comfort Me - 707

YA GIRL is playing another story for the first time and I’m on the day 4 branch and I’m getting V’s route and... it’s so dramatic!? I need a fic written abt it right tf now. Also yes I’m making this happen during V’s route but be about 707 leave me alone

Warnings: spoilers for V’s route

Summary: after an insane turn of events at your ceremony, you’re locked back in your room. You’re distressed. V won’t answer, Ray is gone... you can’t tell him anything, but at least Seven would make you feel better

Ray led you back to your room, hand gently holding your arm to make sure you wouldn’t run off, not that you would, it didn’t go well the first time.

He opened the door to your room, leading you in. “I’m so sorry to ask this of you, but will you be okay with staying in your room for a little? I promise I’ll visit right after I talk with the Savior. I just need to know you won’t go anywhere.”

How were you supposed to answer that? He had lied to you. About everything. Your mind was racing with these chatrooms that were with actual people, the fact he wanted you to spy on them, the strange origin of this “place,” the last thing you wanted was to be locked in a small room. But you had now seen Ray upset and it was unpleasant.

You nodded, biting your lip as though that would help stop your eyes watering. “Mhm,” you hummed, unable to form words.

“You’re crying...” his hand went up to wipe your tears but he decided against it, putting it back down by his side. “Please don’t cry. I promise everything will be okay.”

“Okay,” you nodded, sniffling a little. “I’ll be here.” You moved to sit on your bed as he let out a sigh of relief, smiling as he left the room, a lock sounding on the door.

Now you were locked in here.

You didn’t want to be on this bed. You sat on the floor, in a corner, the moon and starlight being the only thing illuminating the room. What else were you going to do in this situation? You pulled out your phone and called V.

He didn’t answer. That made sense, since he was on the run.

You called Seven. He should be up right now.

He picked up on the second ring. “Hello! What can I do for ya at this hour?”

You sniffled. You should have stopped your crying before you called. “Just wanted to say hi...”

“You’re crying.”

You let out a laugh, the sound strangled as it mixed with your sobs. He wasn’t wrong. “I’m aware of that.”

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” You could hear his chair squeak as he leaned back in it.

“I... can’t. You know I can’t.” Your voice was small as you spoke. There was no reason he had to talk to you. How could he comfort you if you wouldn’t even explain why you were upset? “This was dumb, I’m so sorry.”

“No no! It’s okay. I know you’re in a weird situation where you can’t say much.”

“I’m not a bad person Seven,” you whimpered. “I know your background checks have come up empty and everything is secret but I promise I’m not bad.”

“I can tell you’re not bad. Plus, V says you’re good, and I want to trust him.”

“I just- ughhh. This is all so much bigger than me. And I just realized it. I’m overwhelmed.” You let your head fall against the wall in defeat.

“Eating always makes me feel better. Or sleeping. That way you’re distracted.”

“I...” you paused, hesitantly. It was weird now. You thought you were pursuing an AI, but you had actually been pursuing a real human being with fiery hair and stupid jokes that never failed to make you laugh. “Do you think you can comfort me?”

“Oh boy,” he sounded nervous. “I’ll try. No, no, I’ll succeed. God Seven to the rescue!”

You chuckled. He was always good at making you laugh.

“I like your laugh. Makes me less nervous about having to cheer you up. Hmmm what should I talk about?”

“You have any fun stories?” You asked, slumping back on the wall more, tears forgotten.

“Do you like the beach?”

An odd question. “I do like the beach.”

“I dunno when you first went to the beach, but I didn’t go until I was older. I almost think everyone’s first trip to the beach should be when they’re older, so they can really remember it.”

“What was it like for you then?”

Seven laughed. “I remember I saw the sand, then took off my shoes and sprinted over to it. I had never been in the sand before. And it stuck all over my feet but I was excited. I was fully dressed besides my shoes, and I just full out sprinted to the water.”

“That’s honestly adorable.”

“And then I stood there, right where the waves met the shore. Even though I was old it was kind of scary? Like if the waves were strong enough they could definitely pull me under. But also I was only in to my ankles so it was funny I was nervous.”

“Seven... this is so cute,” you gushed. You knew your cheeks were heating up. Seven was always fun but it was special to hear him talk about such an important memory.

“Anyways. I only got in to my ankles that day. The sun was setting when I got there. The next day I went back and actually got in.”

“Aw! I wanna see little Seven at the ocean.”

“I was actually not little; I was about to enter college,” he commented matter-of-factly.

You just grinned. You couldn’t stop smiling. That was so Seven.

“You’re silent.”

Oops! You had forgotten to respond. “I’m just- that was a sweet story. It made me smile and it’s just so you. This sounds dumb but like... you’re you. You have complex thoughts and funny stories and cute moments. It’s hard since I’ve only talked to you over the phone. But you’re so... dimensional and bright Seven. I really like that about you.” He was real. And that’s what mattered. Seven was real.

He laughed. “I’m flattered to hear you think I have emotions? I would hope I did! Are you feeling any better?”

“So, so much better.” It was the truth. You were giggling over the phone, much more confident that V and Seven would save you and it would be okay.

A knock sounded at your door.

“Oops! I kept you on for too long. Good night Sev!”

“Good night! Hope you sleep well.”

Click.

Ray walked into the room, somewhat surprised to see you at the entrance. “I would have thought you had fallen asleep,” he explained awkwardly. “The lights were off. But you were laughing.”

“Oh, yeah. I was just, uh, playing the game.”

“Were you making a call?”

You nodded, trying to feign complete innocence. “I was talking to the hacker character.”

He stared at you blankly, his expressions not giving any thoughts away.

“Wait! I thought you meant V was the only real one. It made sense to me since you couldn’t pursue V in the game. I didn’t realize he also...”

Of course you realized. But you had to satisfy Ray.

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Yes, but he’s the worst of them all. Did you tell him about tonight? What did you talk about?”

“Oh, no, I would never let them know what happened here. That’s our secret.” You giggled a little. “We actually just talked about the beach.”

“The beach?”

“Yeah. I was feeling stressed and it was the first topic that came to mind. Do you like the beach, Ray?”

He looked away from you. “I’ve... never been.”

“We’ll have to go someday! Or make a beach experience here. You’d really like it.”

“Okay,” he smiled. “We’ll do that after the ceremony. Thank you again for staying here with me. I promise I’ll bring you a fresh bouquet tomorrow.

Stay on his side for now, you reminded yourself. You took a step closer to him, hands trembling, and pulled him in for a hug. He jumped at first but reciprocated.

“I haven’t done this very much,” he explained awkwardly. One of his hands went down to rub your back comfortingly.

“Ray... I was scared.” That wasn’t a lie. You were scared. You still are.

“I know. Me too.” He pulled back to look at you. “Do you want some tea to help you fall asleep?”

V’s words rang in your mind. Don’t take anything they give you. “No thanks! Your presence... really helped. Thank you.”

“Okay. I’ll leave you to get some rest. Sweet dreams! And don’t worry about those other people. I’ll take care of it!” He closed the door behind him.

You would worry about those other people. You were relieved you got to talk to Seven, but you were worried about any more secrets Ray had against him that he could use in order to force you to stay here.

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Shelbys at Somme: Chapter 9

Thomas X Reader

Word Count: 1644

Summary: Grace is forced to endure Reader’s company as Reader heals.

by @adventuresintooblivion

On Saturday morning, it was Thomas that welcomed Y/N instead of Ada. He sat across from her taking a long drag from his cigarette. His eyes were cast out the window a thousand miles away as Y/N sat up. He didn’t acknowledge her at first. 

“Thomas?”

He stirred only slightly. “I’ve got something waiting for you downstairs. Do you think you’re up for a small trip?”

Y/N dressed slowly, using the nearby table as support and taking time to make sure everything was in place. She put on women’s clothes for once; the stays prevented her from making any sudden movements that would jostle her ribs. When she was done, she turned to face Thomas. 

His eyes had gone wide as he watched her. The cigarette was held loosely in his hands, the end burning dangerously low. Ashes fell onto his fingertips, jolting him into the present. He yanked back his hand from the burning sensation. 

Thomas cleared his throat, “I...I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before.”

She shrugged. “I don’t hate them, but the structure is usually too much for running across rooftops and such.”

“What’re you doing on a rooftop?”

Y/N flashed him a wicked smile, “Illegal things.”

He stood and offered his arm. “Someday you’re gonna tell me what you did before the war.”

She didn’t answer as they made their way down the stairs. It was slow going and she didn’t exactly enjoy any of the movement, but she’d be damned if she was cooped up in her rooms for the next two months. Thomas was patient with her, letting her pick the pace, but she was still relieved when they made it to level ground.

The Garrison was already somewhat busy, people grabbing a drink before heading out. Y/N vaguely remembered talk of a football game, so it would only get busier. However, more people were standing than normal; a table by the stairs seemed to be missing. Something was still taking up quite a bit of room.

There against the dingy wood of the pub, stood a black gleaming Baby Grand Piano. It was massive in the crowded space and seemed to glow despite the dim lighting due to it’s highly polished surface. Ivory keys were stark white and begging to be played.

  Y/N froze, “Thomas, what the hell is that?”

“Well, I’d expect you of all people to know what that is. But I’ll humor you nonetheless, it’s a piano. A Steinway to be exact.”

“Tommy! Those cost a bloody fortune.”

“To get them shipped here, even more so. But I hear they’re extremely popular in New York City. If we’re going to fancy this place up a bit, might as well have one, right?”

She couldn’t stop her head from shaking, but no words left her lips. Thomas gently guided her towards the seat.

Y/N glanced around wildly. “What’re you doing?”

He leaned forward and she could hear the grin in his voice, “You’re so worried about earning your keep. Go on, play it.”

The room parted for them until finally she sat. Leather creaked beneath her weight as she settled into place. Her fingers brushed over the keys reverently, it was the barest touch and yet it took everything she had not to just play. A thousand notes flooded her mind. Long lost memories ingrained in the notes of a song.

“Tommy, this is too much.” She didn’t feel the tears until she tasted the salt on her lips.

His hand lifted ever so slightly, but he stopped. His eyes casting out among the crowd. 

Thomas whispered, “You’ve shown me genuine kindness time and again. And I’ll not have you up in that room feeling useless. Now please, play for me.”

“Any requests?” Y/N bit her lip. She refused to let the sob escape her throat. 

He grinned, “The one you made for me?”

She slapped his arm half-heartedly, “You bastard. Trying to make me a blubbering mess in front of everyone.”

“Well if you’re not up for it . . .”

“Shut your heathen mouth.” 

Her fingers returned to the keys as Thomas stood. He left to go to his office. Despite the distance between them--and the wood--he could hear each note as she began to play. The idle chatter died. Men turned from their conversations to listen to a song only a handful on earth had heard before. 

One song led to another. The day passed by in a blur as Y/N’s hands soured across the piano. All the frustration of the past few days coming out in a prolonged concert. Patrons became used to the background music, their chatter filling what would have been silence.

Eventually, Grace came to stand beside her. A small tray with a bottle and two glasses was grasped tightly between her hands.

Grace cleared her throat. “You’ve been playing for hours. Think you could use a drink?”

Y/N glanced up. “Actually that’d be fantastic.”

It was the first time Grace had seen Y/N since before her abduction. Every time her eyes strayed towards her busted lip or bruised skin a cold chill ran through her. Campbell had really done that? She nodded and poured the drinks quickly. She was about to step away when Y/N stopped her.

“Are you ok? You’re looking kind of pale.”

“It’s been a rough few days.” Grace answered as she ducked her head. “I worked a job for Thomas, and it wasn’t what I expected to say the least.”

Y/N took a drink. “He took you to the races.”

Grace started, “He told you about that?”

“He told me what he had planned for you.” She glanced up at Grace. “So, is he as much of a bastard as he thinks he is?”

“No.”

Y/N caught herself smiling, “That’s good to hear. Come, join me.” 

Grace paused a moment before joining Y/N on the bench. It was a tight fit but it worked well enough. 

“Do you play?”

Grace shook her head. “No, singing is where my musical talent stays.”

She nodded, sipping her drink as she glanced around. Eventually Grace caught herself staring at Y/N. Her voice was almost too soft for Y/N to hear, “Thomas trusts you.”

“I might’ve saved him once or twice during the war.” She shrugged.

Grace blinked, “You were a nurse?”

Y/N snorted, “I don’t know anything more than what they teach you in basic.” 

“You fought?!” 

Y/N flinched. "Tell the whole world why don't you?"

Matthew's death finally made more sense to Grace. This woman beside her was trained to kill in the bloodiest war the world had seen. She couldn't have been running on much more than base animal instinct, just like the other men in this bar. She reluctantly admitted to herself that she'd like to see another woman lose her senses in battle. However, she squashed down that natural curiosity, appalled with herself.

Grace's words were barely a whisper, "You killed people, how many?"

Y/N blinked. "It's a bit morbid to count. But it was a side effect of what I actually did. I was the distraction and the insurance to get our boys out if something went wrong in the tunnels. The only person out there who is a better shot than me is Jeremiah."

"Why're you telling me all this?" Grace bit back a snarl.

Y/N cast her a sidelong glance, an eyebrow slowly raising, "Do you not want to be friends?"

Why the hell would I want to be friends with a monster like you? Grace flashed her a perfectly cheery smile, "I apologize. I guess I'm just tired. If you'll excuse me?" She stood without waiting for an answer. There was so much she wanted to say. All of them clashing together fighting for their chance to be said, but every single one of them would've revealed her.

But she couldn't stop one last quip from slipping past her lips, "Brass knuckles, are they a good weapon for self defense?" 

Silence hung in the air so heavy the idle chatter of the bar couldn't seem to penetrate it. 

"Only if you know how to throw a good punch. Why do you ask?"

Grace stammered, "I wanted something just in case. This isn't exactly the best area in town."

Y/N gave her a tired look. "You work at the Garrison. No one will hurt you."

Grace didn't know what to say, so she simply nodded her head and left. She gripped the tray to stop her hands from shaking. It wasn't until Harry tapped her shoulder that she realized she'd frozen behind the counter.

"Come on, Girl; we've got work to do."

The rest of the night kept Grace too busy to breathe easily let alone think about Matthew. It wasn't until Thomas came in a few hours later that she realized that it was almost closing time.

"Hello, Grace." He leaned against the bar, his eyes roaming over her figure. 

She wasn't going to pretend she hadn't noticed it happening more and more often. "Hello, Mr. Shelby."

He shook his head. "I thought we were past that by now."

Grace glanced away. "Your friend by the piano seems to have a high regard for you; I wouldn't want to offend her."

He raised his eyebrow. "What did she say?"

"She said that since I work at the Garrison, I'm free from any harassment on the streets."

"You are."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, holding his gaze for a long moment. "And why is that Mr. Shelby?"

He shook his head, "Don't worry about it. Just call me Thomas, alright?"

Grace nodded before returning to her spigots. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Thomas headed directly for the piano.

[achliegh]

Could we see O and O's first big fight

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE THE TWINS ARE GONNA FIGHT!!!!

Lol but yes 10. Olive and Otto’s first big fight has been requested and I am here to deliver!

TW/CW: Arguing, drama, feeling left out and unloved, feelings of favoritism, crying, tattooing.

Some Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Thanks to my clone @clearsuitcasecookienerd for listening to me try to figure this out

Let’s read!

Otto later on in life would say that this fight actually did mean a lot when he looks back on it. It was the start of him telling people how he feels instead of sticking to himself like he always did. It was an important fight and it was something that seven year old's fight about. Favoritism. Who favors which child more, it is very common with twins at this age unless they are angels, it definitely took the parents by surprise.

Winter 2023

Leo was watching Olive skate around the rink after her practice ended, she always needed to cool down afterwards, he taught her well. The schedule worked out so that Leo would pick up Olive and discuss hockey with her on the way back to her mothers house. Ink doesn’t understand hockey at all so it lets Olive talk about her hobby without trying to explain everything at the same time.

Ink having been a performer though loved talking to Otto about figure skating because her and Leo were cheerleaders. They understood the importance of loving what you do to be able to pull off a great performance. Somedays Ink would run late from tattooing to pick Otto up and he would be the last one at the rink with the coach. 

Leo was never late to pick up Olive though, for some reason that really stuck in Otto’s little brain.

Leo would talk to Otto about figure skating but Olive would always but in to talk about her hobby and little Otto wouldn’t say anything, he would just sink into the background and let her talk. It hurt even if he wasn’t emotionally mature. Even if he was still a little kid he saw how everyone adored his sister, the Lions would actually start conversations with her instead of waiting for her to talk first.

“Olive how is practice going”

“Olive did you decide on what position to play.”

“Olive if you need any advice on how to skate fast just ask.”

“Olive, you’re gonna be the greatest player one day.”

“Olive”

“Olive”

“OLIVE!”

It started to irritate Otto going to family dinners after traveling Lions games, so he started to stay home with June. She was quiet and knew how to talk to Otto like he wasn’t inferior to his sister. Like he was… an only child. He loved his parents but sometimes they are dumb.

It all came to a halt one day when a Sunday dinner turned into a full on fight. Sundays were when Leo would come over to Ink’s house and eat dinner as a family. June would go over to the apartment with Finn and Logan and do whatever they wanted. But Sundays were family days. 

“Daddy, I have decided to play defenseman!” Olive smiles at him brightly, proud of herself. She had some BBQ sauce in the corner of her mouth and her hair was falling into her plate. Otto rolled his eyes and rested his cheek on his fist, elbow on the table just punching his food around.

“Put your hair up Olive, it's getting in your food. That's great honey I’m proud of you.” Leo smiles at her, the same spot on his face also has BBQ sauce. “Otto, elbow off the table Bud.”

A sigh comes from Otto and he slams his fork down sassily removing his elbow from the table. Crossing his arms and glaring down at his plate. Ink and Leo share a look of confusion, then, look back at Otto. Ink sets her fork down gently.

“You alright there Bud?” She looks at him a little worried and it makes him even angrier.

“What do you care?” Ink is taken aback by this, normally Otto is the sweetest child you have ever met. This attitude is new. “It’s not like I’m the star player of a stupid game.”

“What are you talking about?” Leo furrows his brow trying to figure out what's going on, as any parent would say. He doesn't have a favorite kid just like he doesn’t have a favorite boyfriend. Olive just talks a lot more than Otto, did he miss something.

Otto scoffs and looks Leo in the eye. “I know you like Olive more than me… Everyone does.” He looks back at his food as tears form in his eyes but he doesn’t want to show them that it hurts. “It’s always ‘Olive this’ and Olive that’! She-she talks over me and no one ever talks about figure skating with me except for mom and she doesn’t even understand it! She compare it to cheerleading when it really is the only way I can talk without talking! Olive is a good hockey player like dad so everyone talks to her like she is the most amazing person to ever exist and they all forget about me! The team, my friends, the school… My own parents!” Tears are now streaming down his face and he angrily wipes them away.

“You make everything sound so bad! When you were sick and got everyone attention I didn’t care!” Olive snaps at him and glares at him with the Icey stare she is known for. Everyone always says her eyes are scary while Otto's are sweet. Yet still more people talk to Olive.

“I hate you!”

“I hate you more!”

“Hey! Hey!” Leo watches as Otto shoves his plate away and storms off to the room he stares with his sister and slams the door. Ink has her head in her hands massaging her temples. “I’ll go talk to him after he cools down, but you” He turns to Olive “That was uncalled for, Otto getting sick was not us giving him more attention because we ‘loved him more’ or whatever is in your head. He got more attention because we didn’t know if he was going to live.” 

Olive is looking down at her plate and looks up at her parents with the biggest, saddest eyes they had seen in a while.

“I didn’t mean to say that- I don’t know why I did.” She sniffles and wipes her nose on her sleeve.

“I know honey, but you will have to apologize to your brother. This is something that makes him feel really bad. What we should do, instead of hurting someone because they said something out of anger, is let them get all the emotion out until they are ready to talk. Okay?” Ink wasn’t sure how she should explain the way she handled people to a seven year old but this was all she could think of. Olive nods, wiping her eyes and then putting her hands in her lap just looking at them sadly as the words she said keep flowing through her head. “It’s okay to feel bad about things we saw, but we do need to do the proper actions after to clear our heads, and this time it would be to apologize.” Olive nods again.

“I’m going to see if Otto has calmed down at all.” Leo stands, walking to the door that was just slammed. He knocks twice and hears hard crying behind the door, his heart hurts as he listens to his child gasp and sob into a pillow or his teddy bear. He can hear the soft mumbling of the team and knows Otto is listening to the build a bear from his fourth birthday. Leo hadn’t seen the bear in a while. “Otto, can I come in?”

“Y-yeah” Otto hiccups, he is sitting on his bed under the covers with his back against the wall, his Lion being held tightly to his chest. Pressing the paw every once in a while because he misses the team like this. He feels Leo sit next to him but doesn't get under the covers with him.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I just feel really lonely” Leo sighs silently and rests his head on the top of Ott’s. The cover being a barrier between them. “I just want people to talk to me like they do Olive, no one hesitates to talk to her, or tell her how good she is. You and mama never tell her to not talk over me. I feel like I’m not here sometimes.” Otto began to cry again leaning into Leo’s side.

“I didn’t know we were doing that, I’m sorry.” Leo wraps his arms around the figure leaning into him and kisses the top of his head. “How come you didn’t say anything.” Leo should have noticed this going on, now that he thinks about it, Olive really does take up most of his time. He feels horrible for not noticing. Maybe he would talk to Dumo about this.

“I didn’t want to be annoying.” Leo hums', he knows that feeling. They sit there for about twenty minutes, until Otto uncovers himself and hugs Leo fully. “I gotta say sorry to Olive, I feel really bad.” Leo nods and gives Otto a squeeze before they get up and walk towards the door.

From that day on Otto let people know what he was feeling.

[joliepixie]

I’ve been reading almost everyday since April 16th thanks to the stay at home order. Not that I’m complaining but I feeling like it’s time to return to work if only for my activity level! its become a struggle to remove myself enough to go for a walk or run. Anyways onto the books.

Left to right:

1) I ordered this book when I was in the middle of the Throne of Glass series as a nice book to break up the series (can’t read series books back to back I get bored that way) but also to fulfill the Sarah J. Maas craving I was having without having to invest in a series. I don’t know was expecting with this book but for me it made me realize I’m not that into superhero books... don’t get me wrong it was a good book and I think I gave it 3 stars?? It just didn’t resonate with me. I didn’t much enjoy the characters and I had a hard time believing catwoman was this super badass didn’t lose one fight to anyone type of character that had assassin training. I preferred the early chapters when she was just a kid trying to make a living by fighting I think following that would have been a bit more interesting. Ok Just checked rated it 4 stars... This is why I do these “reviews” cause sometimes I don’t know how I feel about a book till I sit down and start blabbing about it. So yes a 3 star book for me.

2) Ok I have a serious addiction apparently. After reading the Throne of Glass books I wasn’t done with Sarah J. Maas’ writing style yet so with me having a week of uninterrupted home time left and having a serious book hangover I decided to re-read the ACOTAR series again.. probably just the first two because I like the build up to Rhys and Feyra’s relationship. Needless to say other then having to spend the majority of this book with Tamlin I love this book or more specifically the under the mountain trails. Going into the book for the first time last year I wasn’t expecting the trails and being a huge fan of competitions, trails, etc. I was enthralled. Love this book and love the second book even more. Oh and I promise I will be branching out from Sarah J. Maas soon considering I’ve had all her books read and just waiting for breath and sky now.

3) Another re-read/slowly trying to read every book on my bookshelf after a reading slump of 3 years. As I’ve been saying to my friends. I’m weeding out the weak deciding what to keep and what to give away. Anyways, absolutely love this book. Say what you will about Nicholas Sparks but he knows how to tug at the heart strings. When I first read this book I was in highschool and getting through those last 100 pages is tough is a terribly sad type of way. I remember I had to give my dad a hug when he got home after sobbing on the couch for hours. This book broke and I went in knowing this and I spent my entire night crying, let my dad know I loved him, and woke up with sore and puffy eyes so bad that I couldn’t read at all the next day. Regardless of how much I love this book I’m keeping it for the sake of the memories I have with it and as a reminder to let my parents know I love them unconditionally and never stay mad.

4) If you remember I picked this book up on one of my thrifting trips with my friend. Funny story I accidentally bought two copies thinking they were different stories. I have a obsession with Paris (even though I haven’t gone.. just waiting for covid to end so I can get out there) which was the main reason for this purchase and I’m glad I got it. I read this immediately after Kingdom of Ash because I needed something quick and what better then a book of short stories some involving Paris? I loved the majority of the stories in this book and will definitely be re reading a few someday. I tried reading this author other book me Before You when I was really young but being so young I don’t think I appreciated it as much as I should have. After picking up this book and being reacquainted with this authors writing style I think I’ll be trying some of her other books and probably dusting off my old copy of Me Before You.

5) I’ve been having an tough time with thrillers recently where I’ve read a lot that just didn’t sit well with me. This one reminded me why I like thrillers so much. I found this one fast paced and didn’t have to sit through chapter after chapter of the characters drinking while she took her medication. Sometimes I find with thrillers we are always given these characters that are so dependent on there vices which are used against them to make them seem crazy rather then something actually happening which drags on and sometimes used as a crutch in writing do you get what I’m saying? Even though this book did have a bit of this happening it wasn’t used nearly as much as other books and like I said very fast pace. It was neat how there wasn’t a grand reveal but the main character just worked it out on her own. I was happy with the ending as well and thought it ended the book well. All and all I liked this book a lot.

6) Was hoping I could write about book 6, 7, and 8 altogether like last time but I have very different feelings about each book so here we go. I love this book probably just as much as Heir of Fire and Queen of Shadows. I really loved getting to see all the characters interact like Manon joining up with the crew. The skull bay fight with Lysandra was definitely one of my all time favourite scenes and having Dorian slowly master his powers was fun to read as well. My favourite part of this book was definitely Lorcan and Elide parts. Elide was a character that I could give or take when I first met her but she’s slowly become my favourite character and I loved everyone of her chapters as well as the slow building romance with Lorcan. And if you know me you know I have a great hatred for Chaol so this book got a added bonus for not having a single chapter from his perspective!

7) This was a struggle. I looked up if I could just skip this book but unfortunately it had major plot points you couldn’t miss. I was dreading this book. I read a lot of reviews about how people hated Chaol but still really found this book likeable so I went in hoping that would be my experience too. It wasn’t. I actually ended up buying the audiobook because I really couldn’t picture myself sitting and reading this book... it’s not that I hated it I just don’t like chaol and besides Yrene and Borte didn’t really care for any of the characters in this book. I’m glad I listened to it because I definitely needed this story to continue and I really did try not to hate Chaol so much but I just can’t stand him.

8) Ok. The final Throne of Glass book. I gave it 4 stars. The middle three books are my favourite and I will re read over and over this one I don’t see myself going back to it. I have it four starts because I’ve followed these characters through a eight book series and a month of my time. I’ve fallen in love with these characters and there stories, I will always love these character, and of course Elide and Lorcan! Now here’s why I didn’t like this book as much nor think I’ll read it again (other then Lorcan and Elide story.) throughout this book I felt like Rowan became a background character like I’m all for a strong female lead and her doing shit her own way but Rowan was suppose to be her equal and I just felt like he did nothing. Like the final fight he spent the majority of it chasing Aelin? I get it she didn’t have her full powers but she was handling her own couldn’t you do the same? It just didn’t sit right with me that this character that was introduced to us in Heir of Fire that trained Aelin and is her equal was just kind of brushed aside and became this clingy male that spent the majority of the book following Aelin around not doing anything other the pleading her not to leave him. Like what happened to the badass Rowan that I grew to love...? Also was really angered me Aelin losing her powers? What’s up with that?! It just felt so cheap to me.. after again reading about how strong she is and then forging the lock which did nothing by the way what was the point of that anyways, and then she just loses all her power only having a ember left??? I hate when authors do this.. I also felt the scene with Erawan, Maeve, and Aelin was just dull. I was still upset that Aelin wouldn’t get to use her powers against them and in the end it was more of a match of words then a battle just felt a little cheap to me. I was just disappointing , Aelin a character we have come to love and watch grow and get stronger hardly hold her own against Maeve... This book has a all around different feel to it compared to the other books and maybe it’s because it was the final battle and and the final book to the series I was a bit disappointed with it but I did enjoy it and felt a huge accomplishment when I finished the series. Reading that finally few chapters really put me into a hangover knowing it was over and like Aelin felt when everyone was heading home I felt that too. It’s goodbye for now.

[tiaragqueen]

Au Revoir

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Kirishima Eijirou x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,8k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Possessiveness, strangulation, implied stalking

[Edited]

***

A sequel to this that nobody asked but I did, anyway. Probably more dramatic than the first one. Quarantine really set off my hidden drama queen side.

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Let this be a sermon, I mean everything I've said. Baby, I'm determined, and I'd rather see you dead. You better run for your life if you can, little girl.” - Run For Your Life [The Beatles]

Kirishima didn’t think he could love someone as much as he did to you. Sure, he was fond of his ex. There were times when he gazed through the window and wondered if she missed him the same way he longed for her presence if his death left an empty spot in her heart that just seemed impossible to replace by anyone else. But time had slowly altered the nature of his romantic feelings into something more… subtle. Mild. Bearable.

Ever since you came to the picture, Mina had eventually blended into the background. Someone who he occasionally reminisced, but never thought about much.

Was this what ‘moving on’ felt like? It sounded so… cruel. Like he was trying to forget her, but he didn’t. He wasn’t that heartless, he swore! He cherished every memory with her and sometimes wondered if things could’ve gone differently.

But people come and go, don’t they? Nobody lived forever, and if his ex had found a much better life, why shouldn’t he? There was nothing wrong with being happy with a new person, right? If Mina came here and brought her new boyfriend, Kirishima was certain he’d congratulate her. It’d hurt, sure, even the idea still sent a dull ache that throbbed his inert chest. But, at least, it was better than seeing her grieved face.

She deserved all happiness in this world. Though, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was just making excuses for his feelings. That he wasn’t actually moving on, more like, rebounding.

Still, nobody could blame him. He’d been lonely for so long, constantly praying and regretting the past. It was time for him to find happiness, and the Gods just so happened to bless him with a new friend. A beautiful, kind young woman that he never got tired of watching even in her slumber.

Again, nobody could blame him for wanting to grasp that blessing forever, right? He was sure that your existence was actually a fruit of his sufferings.

However, you seemed to think otherwise.

“I’m gonna house-sit to my friend’s house tomorrow.”

Kirishima paused, his hand hovered over the clean plate that he’d been helping you to put away. It took much of his stamina to maintain a corporeal appearance, so he settled with his normal transparent figure. So if anyone were to see you, they would’ve thought that you were talking to yourself. The sheer insanity didn’t bother you, though. As long as he minded your boundaries, you could care less if you looked like a madwoman.

Unbeknownst to you, he’d long overstepped the lines. Not that you would’ve known.

“… Why?” The voice echoed in the quiet kitchen, hanging heavily the same way he clung to your presence as if it was his lifeline.

You shrugged. “Why not? She pays me, so I don’t see any reason why I should reject the offer.”

“But I thought…” He nearly choked on his saliva once he discerned your definite tone. “[Name]-chan, you’re not serious, are you? You’re just joking, right? Tell me you are, please.”

You raised a brow, silently questioning his growing desperation. Throughout the weeks you’d come to know him, Kirishima was an affable individual who was hell-bent on assisting even when you insisted otherwise. You didn’t know the full story of how he became a ghost in the first place; he looked uncomfortable when you asked about his past life, so you promised to never bring it up again. But you did know that he’d been living in this humble, suburban house for a long time. Alone. Trapped. Isolated.

So, as confusing as his distress might seem, you understood that he was lonely. For all you knew, you might be his first friend in so many years.

“No, of course not.” But your job only paid so much. There were things that you had to fix, and your savings were thinning in each day. Thus, the extra cent became something that you very much needed. You were lucky that you purchased the house at a low price, otherwise, you would’ve been sleeping on the street by now.

You chose to overlook its vague description when you asked the seller about why the place was abandoned, and how she looked mildly restless at the question.

The plate almost fell from your hands when he suddenly clutched the sleeves of your shirt. You couldn’t see his face, but you were certain that he was pleading at you.

“No, please, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.” he sobbed, gripping the cloth as though you’d disappear from his sight if he didn’t. “I’ll do anything for you. Just please, don’t abandon me.”

“What? No, I won’t abandon you. Don’t be ridiculous.” You bit your tongue once you heard his soft whimper. “I-I mean, you’re my friend and this is my house. So there’s no way I’d move out just like that.”

“How would I know?” he asked. “How would I know that you wouldn’t change your mind and choose to live in there instead? How would I know that you still want to be with me?”

“Because, as I said, you’re my friend.” You crouched in front of him and patted what you thought was his head. You hoped it was his head. “And friends don’t abandon each other.”

Kirishima examined your face; all the freckles, acne, and tiny scars that adorned your mesmerizing features. All the sparks that brightened your eyes the same way the stars lit up the universe. You were being earnest, he realized it that much. The way you correctly stroked his hair, the way you looked into his bloodshot eyes so tenderly (almost like a lover would), the way you lowered your tone to a soothing whisper, and the way you smiled to appease his raging anxieties. There wasn’t any trace of insincerity in there, and that was why it hurt.

It hurt because he no longer wanted to be your friend. He didn’t want to be just a housemate to you. He wanted to be something more. Someone special. Someone who you’d remember fondly on your deathbed. Someone who would walk with you through all the events – big or small, important or not, it didn’t matter – despite the knowledge that you couldn’t marry him.

But you didn’t know it, did you? And if he told you someday, would you listen? Would you accept his offer for eternal friendship? Would you accept his dogged devotion towards you?

Would you care to know?

You patted his head for one last time and retired to your room, but he couldn’t hear it. He merely stood by the dishwasher, looking at nothing in particular. He didn’t want to entertain the thought of you going to some stranger’s house tomorrow. He didn’t want to imagine what would you do in there, while he waited for your return like a faithful dog. But it almost felt as if the idea was as inevitable as time itself, and nothing he did could change that.

Surely, there must be a way, right? You’d get angry for sure, but you’d understand his reason. You had to. He refused to think otherwise.

***

That was odd. Kirishima usually appeared the second you hollered his name, sometimes even when you barely opened your mouth. But today, he didn’t heed your summon. Perhaps, he was still sulking about yesterday? At the very least, he could’ve come to bid you farewell, right?

Whatever. If he didn’t want to see you, then you wouldn’t force him. And whether or not he wanted you to go, you’d still go nonetheless. The money wouldn’t wait for him to relent to your wishes.

Climbing into your car, you pulled the door shut and turned on the engine. Or tried to, because it refused to turn on for some unknown reasons. You tried again and again, but the engine remained immobile. How strange, you could’ve sworn that it was fine yesterday. Why was it any different now? Did someone mess with your car without your knowledge? You hadn’t spotted anyone suspicious, though.

You clicked your tongue and hit the steer wheel in frustration, resting your head against the headrest. The day hadn’t even started, and yet, you already felt like blowing off some steam. Your tired eyes glided towards the glove compartment, where a piece of paper stuck out inconspicuously. Curious, you undid the compartment and snatched the folded paper. You tentatively opened it and peeked inside, mentally chiding yourself for anticipating the worst. It could be a useless brochure that you’d accidentally brought, for all you knew. There was no reason to get suspicious, right?

Mine forever.

Frowning, you reread it and attempted to comprehend the hidden meaning. Aside from the scrawl, you couldn’t discover anything that might lead you to the sender. A secret admirer, perhaps? If they did, they sure were quite… aggressive. But why would anyone send you this? Who would admire you so much to the point where they broke into your car? You couldn’t think of anyone that had a crush on you, or maybe it was just you being oblivious to your surroundings. The constant pressure from work helped to dull your perception of special sentiments.

Well, you had no time to further inspect the awfully cryptic message. Time kept ticking, after all.

Shaking your head, you put the letter back to the compartment and locked it. You glanced at the rearview mirror to check your makeup, and that’s where you saw it. A shadow sat ominously on the back seats, its crimson eyes glaring daggers to your head. But it wasn’t the abrupt presence that shocked you, rather, the identity of the said shadow.

“Mine forever.”

A pair of hands slithered from behind you and clutched your neck. You tensed up almost immediately and gasped for air, trying to claw the transparent hands away but scratched your skin instead. You could still discern half of his face through the mirror, lacking any cheerfulness that you’d come to associate with him. Years of solitude had molded him into a desperate man, hell-bent on clutching the only light left in his dark and empty life.

But you didn’t expect him to actually murder you.

“Kiri… shima…” you heaved, desperate to knock some sense into his head yet incapable of doing that. It felt as if a part of his shadow had clogged your nose, too. How long would it take until it successfully closed your respiration?

“I’m sorry, [Name].” You heard him whisper in your ears. He felt so close, yet so far. Specks of darkness slowly filled your sight as you struggled to breathe for the last time. Was this how you were going to end? How disappointing it was to perish at the hands of a man you used to trust. Maybe this was the punishment for not listening to your guts. Maybe this was the punishment for heeding security more than your life.

Maybe this was the punishment for giving him false hope with your friendship. But how would you know?

“… I'll see you soon.”

You finally went limp.

[overthinkinggotmedrinking]

Paper Rings

Pairing: Reader X Dean Winchester

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Inspired by the song 'Paper Rings' by Taylor Swift. An ordinary day becomes unforgettable for the reader, but is it all just a dream? (I suck at summaries🙈)

Word Count: 1994

A/N: This is the first piece of fanfiction I’ve started writing and actually finished. YAY! Can’t believe I actually did it. Anyways I hope you enjoy! Any feedback is appreciated.

____________________

"You know what we should do right now?" I say as I lift my head up from Dean's lap and look away from the TV to look up at him.

His eyes narrow as he looks at me, as if he knows I'm going to suggest something ridiculous. I don't blame him really, my smile is probably what is tipping him off. "What?" He asks carefully.

I sit up excitedly. "Bake chocolate chip cookies!", I say as I take his hand to pull him towards the kitchen.

I hear him chuckle. "You do realise it's 1 o'clock at night, right?"

"And... Your point is?" I look at him with a playful smirk and give him a peck on the lips.

He sighs, smiling, as he shakes his head. "I don't even know why I try." He says, putting his arms around me.

"I don't either" I say as I put my arms around his neck.

I look into his eyes and all I can see is love and adoration. I feel the blush rise, and my heart skips a beat. We've been together for 2 years, and he still manages to make me feel this way.

I'm not the most secure person in the world. Always fearing that one day, he'll get bored and leave. He's reassured me a million times that that could never happen. But there are still days when that fear comes back, nights I spend thinking about how he is still with me.

I clear my throat as I say, "Okay! So you get the ingredients, while I'm going to get the utensils and put some music on."

"Yes, Ma'am!" He says pecking the tip of my nose.

____________________

"So, first we need to mix the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. You measure out the flour and I'll get the cocoa powder." I say. I measure out the required amount, and am about to put it in the bowl when another idea pops into my head.

"You know.. I've always wanted to know what you would look like with brown hair."

He pours the flour in the bowl as he says, "Really? Why? don't like my blonde hair any-" Before he can finish the sentence, I reach up and dump the cocoa powder on his head.

"Nope. Brown doesn't suit you." I look at him with a playful look. But it soon changes when I see that he's absolutely still, staring at the kitchen counter, no emotion visible on his face.

Shit. He's mad. I think as I swallow a lump growing in my throat. He's probably tired and wants to sleep. But you just had to drag him to bake cookies at 1 o'clock at night. And then you dump cocoa powder on his head. Of course he's mad. I mentally scold myself.

"I-I'm sorry." I say as I reach up to try to clean up the mess I've made. "I-I shouldn't have done th-that. I'll clean up the kitchen. I-" I suddenly see his hands move, but I'm not able to react fast enough. The next thing I know I'm covered in flour.

I look up in shock to see Dean looking at me with a big smile. "Ooh, you're so dead Winchester." I pick up the bowl with the remaining flour and run after him, with a smile matching his.

"Catch me if you can sweetheart." He says with a teasing voice. We're running around the kitchen island when he picks up the cocoa powder, and instead of running away comes towards me with a fistful. I throw the flour in the bowl towards him and turn around to try and run. But I'm too slow, and I let out a little yelp as he catches me. He puts one arm around my waist and uses the other to cover my face in the cocoa.

We're laughing as I turn around in his arms, and stand on my tip toes to kiss him. And as always, I get completely lost in him. I have to remind myself to pull away so I could breathe. As I'm looking up at him, my ears pick up the song playing on the speakers.

The moon is high, like your friends were the night that we first met.

"Oh! I love this song." I pull away as I start to dance a bit and sing along to the song.

Dean just stands there looking at me with the sweetest smile on his face. I take his hands in an attempt to get him to dance with me. "Come on!"

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night

(Oh!) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright

Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life

(One, two, one two three four!)

I look up at him as I sing the chorus.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

And even though I'm just singing along to the song, I mean every single word. When it comes to Dean, all that matters is that we're together. Everything else just fades into the background.

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want,

In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

I wiggle my eyebrows for the last part, while looking at him with a suggestive look.

Oh, you're the one I want

Dean pulls me close to him. He reaches behind me to lower the volume of the song while giving me a peck on the lips. "Marry Me." I pull back and look at him with wide eyes. I must have misheard him. "Wh-What?"

He gets down on one knee, right there on the kitchen floor. I feel my eyes water up. He pulls out a rolled up tissue paper, tied into a ring. I let out a giggle.

"Y/n, I love you. More than I thought anyone could ever love anyone, and I keep falling deeper in love with every passing second. I know that head of your's has probably made up a number of reasons to make you believe that what I'm saying isn't true and that I'm gonna get bored and leave you someday. But you need to know that that's not true. There's no way that I could ever even think of leaving you. So, I want to spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I love you and that you're more than anything I could ever ask for. So, Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?"

The tears finally spill and my throat closes up. I open my mouth to say something, but instead of words a sob makes its way out. So I just resort to nodding my head. Dean grabs my hand and puts the paper ring on. As soon as he gets up, I jump into his arms. I try to say 'I love you', as I tighten my arms around him, but it's comes out slightly choked.

"I love you too sweetheart, so much." His voice sounds teary too, so I pull back and look up at him.

"Is the Dean Winchester crying?"

"Of course I am. You just make me that happy, sweetheart." He gives me another peck, which turns into a kiss, and I can't help but think that it all seems too good to be true. I felt as if I would wake up any given second and realise that this was all just a figment of my imagination. So I kiss him harder, trying to hold on to this moment a bit longer.

____________________

My eyes open to sunlight streaming in from the window. I turn around to look across the bed to find the other side empty, except for a note on Dean's pillow. I pick it up and read what's written on it.

Will be back soon.

Love you, sweetheart

Dean

As I put the note back on the bed, I look down at my empty left ring finger and my mind goes back to my dream. While the memory makes me happy, it's makes me a bit sad too. All my insecurities suddenly surface up. _Would Dean ever actually want to spend his life with me? What if he doesn't? He probably doesn't. _I groan as I try to get my mind to shut up. I decide to get out of bed and get ready for the day.

As I enter the kitchen to grab some breakfast, a small smile creeps up on my face. But before my mind could wander into a hundred different directions, I hear the front door open.

"Hey. Good morning sweetheart." Dean says when he sees me.

"Good morning." I say and give him a peck on the lips. "Where did you go this early in the morning?"

"Well, I went to get something for you."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah." He reaches into the bag he was holding, which I hadn't noticed yet, and pulls out a small velvet box. I feel my eyes widen. So last night wasn't a dream? Then where's the paper ring? Maybe it came off while I was sleeping?

"I didn't tell you this last night, but I actually had already placed an order for a ring a couple of weeks ago. It was supposed to come in any day now, and then I had this whole thing planned out. We'd go some place quite for a picnic, spend the entire day doing things you love, and the day would end with me proposing. But last night, I just couldn't stop myself anymore. And with the song playing, I felt like it was the perfect opportunity. So I went ahead. Then I got a call from the store this morning, they told me I could collect the ring today. So," he paused and took a deep breath, "here it is."

He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful yet simple ring I could imagine. He looked up at me, probably hoping for some sort of response, just to find me staring at him. "Sweetheart? Are you okay?"

"Wait. You actually proposed to me last night?" I asked

He nodded looking slightly confused.

"And it wasn't all a dream?" The look on his face changes as he realises what I was thinking. He grins at me as he says, "No sweetheart. It all happened."

"And you don't regret asking me?" His expression changes yet again, the grin now replaced by a frown. "Of course not sweetheart, why would I?"

He cups my face, a slight smile on his face, "Don't you remember that speech I gave last night? I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." When my expression is still unsure, he says, "Fine, I'm gonna say it." He leans forward and whispers in my ear, "I love you more than I love pie."

I let out a dramatic gasp as I widen my eyes. "No!" I whisper back playfully. "Really?"

"It's true. If I ever had to choose, I'd choose you. Just don't ever make me do that."

"I wouldn't dare." I say, all my worries forgotten, a big smile on my face.

He pulls the ring out of the box and askes for my hand. I put my hand forward and he places the ring on my finger.

Looking at the ring brings back the tears in my eyes. "I love you so much, Dean."

"I love you too sweetheart."

And as we stand there kissing each other, I feel all my insecurities fall away for now. I know they'll come back, but I also know that Dean will always be there to help me fight them, as I will be there to help him fight his. So, for once, I let myself believe that everything is going to be alright.

[sierracolorstheworldofwords]

Yandereplier x anxious reader

An: Idk if anyone is going to read this but if you do and somehow like it HIT that reblog button babey! And also hit me up with a request if u want. Anyway, this was a request from Wattpad, and I have more one shots on there! The name of said wattpad is in my bio! :3 ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: Reader has an anxiety attack! So if that triggers you or anything please skip this! And read some of my other fics bc yes I’m plugging!

It all started with that nightmare.

Yan and you sat underneath a cherry tree in full bloom, each pink petal a promise, each soft flower a gentle declaration of love.

The sky was a beautiful island blue, and the clouds looked like they were painted onto the sky, just for you. You could see patches of them through the dark, curved branches of the tree, and feel the warm sun, sweet like honey, shining on your face.

Everything was.. perfect. You wished you could stop time forever, make this moment into a crystal bubble, preserve it in a snow globe forever.

"I have to tell you something." Yan said suddenly, fingers unwrapping from yours.

You turned towards him, taking in his gentle eyes— a beautiful brown that in the right light, looked red.

"Yeah?" You whispered softly, a love struck smile on your face.

He looked away from you, up at the sky, cracking his knuckles, "You know how I said I'd love you forever?"

"Of course! You tell me everyday—"

He took a deep breath, "That's changed. I found someone else."

You sat up suddenly, looking down at him in confusion, heart pounding fiercely in your chest, "Wh-what? Yan.. Yan that's not funny—"

"It's not a joke, senpai— wait, I can't call you that, anymore, because you're not my senpai. I can't believe I even dated you! You were just trying to waste my time and keep me away from my real senpai!"

"Wh-what?! No!"

"You're so stupid and worthless, all you do is whine and I honestly can't believe I even loved you!"

A pair of legs appeared in front of Yan, a faceless figure standing in front of him. The opposite of you, everything you couldn't be... smart, witty, attractive, actually deserving of Yan's love. You watched Yan sit up, a smile on his face— a smile that used to belong to you and you alone.

"Senpai!"

He got up, hugged the mysterious person, and grabbed their hand, "Let's leave this freak! I missed you so much!" He cooed, leaning on their shoulder, completely love struck.

"Y-Yan! Wait!" You stood up, wanting to chase him, but you couldn't. You were stuck, as if your legs had been welded to the ground below you.

"See senpai? I'm so dedicated to you. I broke their heart to prove how much I love you— do you want me to break their bones too, senpai?"

The world stopped. Everything froze like an icy tundra. You fell to your knees, looking at them going further and further away, seeing Yan going further and further away.

Your heart felt like it'd been pulled out of your chest and beaten with a baseball bat full of nails. All you could do was watch Yan leave, seeing his red hair fade away. You sobbed as your everything—the only person you truly trusted left, laughing wickedly, not even caring about how you felt, not even caring.. not caring at all.

"Yan!" You screamed.

You stood up. Legs finally moving.

Maybe you could convince him! You loved him! You could convince him! You— you loved him!

"Come back!"

You began to run, legs finally working, you desperately reached for him, the world a blurry mess of tears, "YAN! COME BACK! PLEASE—"

But he didn't.

He disappeared. Didn't look back. kept going. Leaving you like an old doll he'd gotten bored of, finding a new toy instead.

You alone. Again.

With no one to turn to. Again.

Nobody to care for. Again.

Nobody caring about you. Again.

Alone. Again.

Blackness crawling into your chest again, loneliness nesting inside of your rib cage, cocooning itself inside you. Again. Again. Again.

Alone.

Again.

You woke up with a soft whimper, heart pounding in your chest as you felt warm tears falling down your cheeks. You closed your eyes, crying softly and hugging your pillow.

Maybe you should call Yan.

He'd be more than happy to comfort you! You sat up, grabbed your phone of the charger, and noticed the time— School was in hour. You sighed. He probably wouldn't even be awake now.

You lay down back down, wondering if you should text Yan.. everything that happened in your head kept ringing over and over again, especially what Yan said. You knew it was a nightmare, but it felt so real. Like it did actually happen.. like.. like it was going to happen. Could Yan ever.. ever find someone else? Someone who was better than you? He probably could, right? Then.. then he'd leave you all alone..

Your stomach curled into a tight, knot, and you felt the familiar fear run like a spiked metal wire in your veins, causing your heart to pound harder. What if it was all gonna happen? Not today or tomorrow, but.. someday? He could easily find someone else. He was so amazing and you.. you weren't.

Yan always said he loved you but.. but.. did he really? You were an anxious mess with too much emotional baggage, and sure, he had his problems, being possessive and clingy but.. but he didn't have the type of background you had. It just didn't make sense why he would choose you of all people. Your anxiety  just made the thought worse, dangling it above your head and maliciously smirking.

You closed your eyes, listening to the voice in your head telling you that Yan was going to leave you, and that you might as well get ready for it. Prepare for the inevitable. Did you really think he would actually wanna stay with you? Really? Really? Look at yourself, you're crying over a stupid bad dream, almost always insecure and almost as clingy as Yan. You were surprised he didn't find the constant need of reassurance from him annoying yet.

You wiped your tears and turned your phone  back on and opened  up your messages, reading a few from Yan—

Omg Senpai! I just saw the cutest person today! You'll never guess who!

....It was you! Love you! <3

A smile crossed your features and you wiped your eyes, of course he loved you. Of course he did. You scrolled up and read another one.

Senpai I can't wait for you to come over this weekend! :3 I'm so excited~! We're gonna watch so much anime and cuddle so much! :D I love cuddling with you, you're perfect cuddle size. uwu

Your cheeks flushed a little, and the voice in your head snickered. You really think he loves you? It asked, swirling in your head like a snake of smoke, all those cheesy messages don't mean shit. Maybe he does love you now, maybe— but don't you think he'll get tired of you?

You frowned, arguing with it. Wondering why Yan would say those things if he didn't mean them. Of course he meant them! You knew he did. He wasn't the type to lie about loving someone. That just wasn't Yan at all!

But how do you know? And maybe he does mean them.. or maybe he did mean them, but he doesn't mean them anymore because you were so annoying and he was just saying all those things to get you to shut up. The voice filled your head, burning up all the messages with questions of why, and how and really? What if it was all a lie? What if he used to like you and now he didn't— You slammed your eyes shut. Covering them with your hands as you gritted your teeth, asking yourself if you really were gonna cry over something so stupid?

How could Yan even love you when you were like this?

Your alarm rang and you gasped, sitting up, remembering you had to pack— today was Friday, you were supposed to go over to Yan's house for the weekend. Would you be annoying? Maybe you should cancel? Say.. say you couldn't come over? But.. he got everything prepared and— you sighed softly, rummaging through your drawer and stuffing clothes into your backpack.

Your phone buzzed, you looked at it before picking it up from your bed, turning it on and opening it. Reading  the message from Yan—

Good morning Senpai! It's Friday and I'm so excited!! Don't forget to pack! :3 Also love you and have a good day! I'll see you soon! Love you! Ok bye

A small smile bloomed on your lips, and you texted back, hearing that small seed of doubt as you did. You ignored it, sending a message that read— Morning Yan-Yan! Can't wait to see you and stay over, and don't worry, I packed up. Love you too and see you soon~

You placed it back on your bed and fixed up your hair before brushing up your teeth and getting dressed, making sure to grab your phone and headphones before you did. Then you went to school.

When you arrived, you met Yan in the cafeteria, he brought breakfast for you, which was an unexpected surprise, and all he asked in return was a kiss. (Which you found adorable, and of course you gave him one.)

The two of you ate outside, watching the sun rise as you talked. You wondered if you should tell him about your nightmare, but you didn't want to ruin his happy mood, or be annoying. Before you knew it, your first class started and Yan walked you to class, giving you a kiss and a hug before running to his class.

The rest of the day.. was.. a day.

Your anxiety kept piling up, and then just found more reasons for Yan to hate you—

looks, grades, the way you speak, how you talk too much, your smile, your eyes, the way you walked, the clothes you wore.. everything.

By the time the day was over, thoughts swirled in your head like a tornado, and when you went to meet him by your locker, it took everything in you to not cry and panic. Your stomach hurt and your heart pounded as your brain kept saying— he's gonna leave. Not be here. You'll be all alone. He won't miss you. He doesn't need you. Can't you be better?

You leaned against your locker, head swirling as your chest felt like it was being wrapped up in a giant fist. Your lungs constricted. Your heart pounded. Palms sweated. Throat dry. The world blurring, people becoming slashed of color, the school becoming nothing but a blur that felt.. that felt like distant waves at sea. Real, recognizable, but not entirely there, dreamlike in a sickening way.

"Senpai?"

Yan.

Your eyes snapped up, focusing on him, the world a buzz of noise. You were so stupid! You just had to go and panic, didn't you? Ruin everything like some sick disease—

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

You couldn't breathe.

He should've been yelling at you! Scolding you! Punishing you! Giving you a reason to cry! A reason to be scared so why, why was he being so nice?

Air rushed in and out your throat as you tried to speak, words replaced with shallow harsh breaths. You placed a hand on your chest, heart pounding loudly in your ears.

Softly, Yan grabbed your hand, holding you close as everything crashed— crashed, crashed like a boat in the middle of a fearful storm, crashed like a frantic car speeding down the high way and off a cliff, crashed.

Yan pushed people out the way, practically slamming the school doors open before picking you up and cradling you like the gentle cargo you were. Fishing the keys out of his skirt pocket, he clicked the button, unlocked his red Cadillac, before opening the back seat door and placing you there, climbing in next to you and closing the door shut.

You looked at him, the eye of the storm, the patch of sky in the middle of the tornado and—

"Don't leave me Yan!" You sobbed, clinging on to him desperately, hands digging into the soft fabric of his white shirt and you cried.

"Leave you Senpai? Why would I leave?"

You couldn't even answer back, your breathing was too rapid, too much, your nerves felt like they were on fire, and the world wasn't real— or was it real and you weren't? Or was none of it real and you were just floating? And scared? And alone? And—

"Senpai." Yan whispered, his voice a soft breeze, "I'd never leave you, senpai. Never."

You only responded with a gasping sob, throat feeling like it'd been scratched over a thousand times.

Yan placed a hand under your quivering chin, lifting your face turning your face towards him.

"Breathe senpai, breathe— slowly." He murmured, scooting closer and using his other hand to stroke your cheek, "breathe.. breathe.."

You closed your eyes, taking a shaky breath, feeling your lungs expand like blooming pink flowers.

"That's right Senpai, just breathe for me, okay?"

You nodded, swallowing back tears and feeling him shift and wrap his arms around you loosely.

"Breathe out.."

You let out a deep breath.

"Breathe in."

You breathed in through your nostrils, feeling the air travel down your throat as you calmed down and wiped your tears away.

"Better?"

You nodded.

He wrapped his arms tight around you, kissing your forehead, "I'll never leave you Senpai."

You snuggled into his chest, saying nothing.

"I mean it. No matter what that mean voice in your head—who I really need to beat up by the way— says. I love you Senpai. You and only you."

You looked at him, eyes big and wide, vulnerable, begging him to reassure you like always. He practically read your thoughts.

"I mean it Senpai," he whispered, "I really do—

And I don't care how many times I have to tell you, because I want you to believe it, so if I have to say it a hundred or a thousand times then I'll say it. Because I love you."

You gave him a watery smile, warm tears pricking the corners of your eyes, "I love you too Yan-Yan."

He smiled, kissing your forehead, before tucking your head underneath his neck and softly rubbing your back.

“I love you so, so much Senpai," he whispered, "I'd do anything for you, and I mean anything."

Your heart pounded like always when he said those type of things— his words were so reassuring.. you snuggled into his chest, wrapping your arms around him.

"I love you so much— I'm.. im surprised you haven't left me yet, senpai..."

You gasped, pulling away momentarily, "Oh Yan! I'd never leave! I love you too much!"

The yandere smiled, grabbing your hands in his, "That's exactly how I feel Senpai.."

You smiled softly, wiping the last of your tears before hugging him again. The two of you cuddled for a while before you let out a yawn, exhausted from your anxiety filled day.

“Let's go home, senpai! Then we can take a nap!"

You nodded and agreed, crawling into the front seat, Yan followed and started up his car, clearly excited. His cheeks flushed and a smile crossed his face— causing your stomach to flutter like always. Yan didn't even know how beautiful he was, sometimes.. nor did he know how cute he could be. His hand rested on the gear shift between you, while the other one held the wheel as he backed out of the school, once he was onto the road, you grabbed his hand.

"Yan?"

"Yes senpai?"

"Y-you know how you have nightmares?"

"Yeah."

"I had one this morning.." you said softly, sadly, "and it was about you leaving.. and I just thought I should tell you.."

Yan stopped at a red light and looked at you as you continued, "I-it was about you leaving me and finding someone else.."

"Senpai.. I'd never, ever do that. There's no one else as wonderful and amazing and— and ahhh senpai! There's so many things about you that I love.. and I know you're scared of me leaving, but I promise I won't, okay?"

You nodded, biting your lip.

"I really do mean it, senpai. I love you so much. I— before I met you.. I.. I didn't feel anything at all, and I'd always have to pretend to be happy.. b-but.. when you came into my life.. I felt.. I felt so.. happy—" tears welled up in his eyes, and he turned towards the stoplight, realizing it was green with a nervous laugh, "I'm such a baby— the lights green!"

He pushed the break with his foot and continued driving to his house. You couldn't help but feel your heart pound, not out of fear.. but out of pure love for your Yan-Yan. Your stomach looped itself into playful knots as his words played over and over again in your head.

"Yan.. I feel the same way. Ever since I met you.. I.. I.. know what it's like to be happy.." you whimpered, eyes welling up again, causing you to wipe your tears, "and that's why I get so anxious— and why you get anxious too.. because we're so afraid of losing each other but.. but.. I.. I know that I'd never leave you.. and I'm starting to believe you'll never leave me either.. and I'm sorry it's taking me so long to believe it.. I'm always used to people leaving."

You saw Yan smile softly, and then his smile widened, brown eyes shining with determination, "Well senpai! I'll just have to make sure you believe it! Because I really mean it, I won't ever leave you!"

You smiled again, cheeks flushing, "Thank you Yan.. I— I love you so much."

His face turned red as his smile grew, "I love you too Senpai."

Soon enough, the both of you pulled into his driveway and got out the car, going straight to his bedroom and changing into pajamas. After that, the both of you snuggled underneath the covers, exchanging love struck glances and soft kisses, until.. you both eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

[bevvydraws]

This is going to be my feelings/opinions towards all of the main characters in Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc. This is directly related to my interpretation of events in the series! If you disagree with my thoughts/feelings that’s totally cool but this isn’t meant to be a debate! 

A lot has been going on right now and I don’t have the energy to do much digital art right now, so I figured I’d just open up a little more about one of my favorite series! Maybe I’ll do my opinions on characters for the other games next. 

** This post will contain information that will spoil the series for you, so continue at your own risk**

Makoto Naegi:

Honestly I really like Makoto. He is really average but honestly I think that’s what makes him so appealing. Not only that, but he comes off with a type of charisma that only “average” people can pull off. He has a base knowledge on a variety of subjects that allows him to talk to the other students. That and I find the concept of his “luck” very interesting. Also, side note, but that sprite of him focusing with his finger under his chin is probably one of my most favorite DR sprites ever. It’s just so cute! (I might redraw it someday hehe) 

10/10 

Aoi Asahina: 

While I adore Hina, I really wish that they would have made her more than just a ditzy character who was obsessed with donuts in this game. I loved her energy though! Her interactions with everyone always made me smile. My appreciation for her character just increased exponentially after watching the Despair Arc of Danganronpa 3. All in all I’m super glad that her character survived in THH.

8/10

Byakuya Togami: 

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about Byakuya. I think he’s a great antagonistic character, truly, but beyond that I’m not sure. I definitely think that his character is humbled throughout the course of the game, and in later games/animes he seems a lot less asshole-ish, but I’m not sure if I like him or hate him. I guess that just goes to show just how great he is as an antagonist. One thing I thought was hilarious though was how he casually admitted to being a true-crime nerd. I’m really glad he survived because I think his “talent” was really important for the Future Foundation. 

6/10

Celestia Ludenberg: 

Okay so real talk, I used to be a huge Celestia fan when I first stumbled across the series. But now, I don’t really like her character all that much. I think that out of all of the killers in THH her motive was the most shallow and that really is terrible considering how much potential she had. Her disconnect with her true identity could have made for an interesting character arc. And I really hate how they gave her literally the most complicated murder scheme when it would make sense for her to take a little risk as possible. Her character design is really cute though. 

5/10

Chihiro Fujisaki:

I think Chihro’s death was one of the hardest for me in the game. I played through all of his freetime events and was super attached to him (I know, a horrible idea in a game like DR), and as soon as he died I was just in shock. One thing I love about how they portrayed his character was truly allowing the brilliance of Chihiro shine through even after his death. He created the AI that not only helped aid in their escape, but ultimately saved Makoto's life. I also really liked the juxtaposition of Chihiro and Mondo (the seemingly weaker one ultimately being stronger after all). All in all, Chihiro is a great character. 

10/10

Hifumi Yamada:

I’m not really a fan of Hifumi, but I definitely think he gets wayy too much hate or just gets overlooked completely. I think that the creators leaned a bit too far into the stereotypes for him, and that made him come off as stiff and just… there. I knew from the very beginning that he wouldn’t survive, and honestly he’s the only character I had that feeling with (minus Leon). There are some quirks about him that I like, though, like how he never fails to refer to the others politely.

4/10

Kiyotaka Ishimaru:

So I originally found Taka annoying but after playing THH again he became one of my favorite characters. I find his enthusiasm adorable and his free time events boosted my admiration of him. He’s the only Ultimate that makes a conscious effort to prove himself and not rely on his prodigy-type status. And his relationship with Mondo, albeit short-lived, was so pure. It was so obvious to me that he was happy to have a friend (because Mondo is the first friend he’s ever had), and having that suddenly ripped away and listening to his desperation at the end of chapter 2 made me sob. 

10/10

Kyoko Kirigiri: 

Kiri’s background made me feel really sad for her. I first thought she was just the aloof, cold, smart type that was a bit snobbish. But then you realize that she’s been raised to not be in the spotlight, to work alone and without credit behind the scenes. Detective work is basically her birthright and she’s clung to that like a vice. Her character development throughout the game was really nice, and I think her and Makoto are super cute for each other. The side plot with her and her dad in DR3 made me really sad, too. I really liked overall that she was unapologetically holding true to her beliefs, even if it made her come off as cold. She was a solid, strong female character. 

8/10

Leon Kuwata:

It was super obvious from the beginning that Leon was gonna die. There was 0 attachment to his character for me and he just came off as just...kinda there. I don’t really have much to say about him, other than that I’m not a fan.

1/10

Mondo Owada: 

Mondo was such a big sweetheart in his freetime events. I thought his character was really well rounded and I was so sad that he ended up killing Chihiro. Despite that, I thought it worked really well for the story and played off of both of their weaknesses. Again I really loved his friendship with Taka, and having it formed and ended so quickly surprisingly hurt. 

8/10

Sakura Oogami: 

Honestly I didn’t like how they made her character the spy, because it seemed ridiculously out of character for her. Honestly I think this would be something better suited to Celeste, as she would view it as a way to increase her chances of living if she’s in “kahoots” with him. I dunno, I think the spy thing was unnecessary anyways. I loved her character though and her friendship with Hina was super cute. I also loved how they mentioned that she wanted to embrace her femininity while also not wanting to give up being the strongest person in the world. 

7/10 

Sayaka Maizono: 

Honestly even though I’m not the biggest fan of Sayaka I really like the role she played at the beginning and I think they played it off perfectly. Her desperation fueled by the fear and harsh reality that comes along show business and easily being forgotten really works in the narrative. She seemed like a well-rounded character but I think that if she had lasted past chapter 1 I would have liked her less. All in all her character did a great job of kicking off everything. 

6/10

 Toko Fukawa: 

I hate how they portrayed her character in THH, but her obsessive and odd behavior (outside of her split personality) is easily explained by her traumatic past. She obviously has a warped sense of what “love” is, and that plus her intense delusions turned into obsession for Byakuya. I started loving her character a lot more in UDG, when she started becoming more well rounded and open around Komaru. 

Also, I loved Genocider Syo’s personality. While I obviously don’t condone serial murders, I think that her character is extremely interesting. She doesn’t try and condone her own actions, admitting there is no rhyme or reason. Plus I think it’s really interesting that she considers herself a “professional” and is incredibly particular about the details. 

Overall 6/10 in THH

Yasuhiro Hagakure: 

I feel like Hiro gets a lot of shit as a character because they think he doesn’t contribute anything. I think he adds a lot of much-needed comic relief. Also I think that everyone glosses over the fact that once Taka goes silent he actually tries to encourage him to speak up again. And then tries to do his part and keep everyone together and upbeat. I really think that Hiro is a fun character who deserves more love, even though I can’t say he’s one of my favorites. 

7/10

Mukuro Ikusaba:

I wish Mukuro’s personality would have been able to actually show through in the game. The only glimpse we really see of it is in the bonus school mode while she is still posing as Junko. I wish in the anime they’d have harped less on her odd obsession with Junko and focused more on her internal struggle. I think her character has potential but I can’t say I was particularly attached to her (I suppose that was kind of the point, though). 

4/10

Junko Enoshima: 

Junko is probably one of the most well-written villains I have ever seen in a series. At first I thought it didn’t make sense, and was confused how one person could have so much influence on a mass amount of people. Then it was revealed in later installments that Ultimate Fashionista was not her real talent, just a cover she forged for herself to help her blend in to the school. Her real ultimate talent as the Ultimate Analyst allowed her to predict people’s actions and more importantly, their reactions. Her innate ability and incurable boredom made her seek out something unpredictable: despair and chaos. I think what made me love her as a villain was the line “You can’t argue with me, because there's no reason for anything that I do.” 

As a villain I give her 15/10. If I were to rank her as a person? -11037/10

Overall Opinion: 

I really find most of the characters charming but it’s super obvious when comparing this game to the others that these characters were not as fleshed out as characters in other games. I found it hard to be super attached to most of them and felt that some of their actions were really uncharacteristic. However I really do like the characters and what they add to the story, even if some of it doesn’t add up completely. I’m the least attached to these characters out of all of the characters in the DR series, although there are obviously some exceptions. I think there couldn’t have been a better opening cast of characters.

[kebinwooo]

HI !!! kpop asks 5, 8, 19 (mx), 26, 39 (>:D), 43, 53, 57 !! :D

omg hi chelle! so many questions wowow hahah i’m putting them under a read more bc i rambled a lot haha

5. Do you have a bias “type” (ie, most follow a pattern like the main vocal/bad boy/leader)?

BRUH LOL yes i do OOF i had one bias type then it branched off into two when i started stanning changkyun LMAO so sad HAHAHA

bias type a: pretty, angelic church boy (don’t ask... i’m not even religious lmao) vocalists (examples include: ukiss kevin, svt joshua, actor park bogum)

bias type b: deep-voiced, bad boy (?) rappers who KNOW they’re hot (examples include: mx changkyun, oneus leedo) 

i’m pretty sure there are probably more distinctions but those are the basics of my two completely opposite bias types LMAO to this day, i’m not sure how i went from kevin to changkyun LOL

8. Best friendship?

uhhhh idk what this means? LOL from context, i’m gonna guess best friendship among idols? in which case, i think monteen is definitely it LOL but i also adore svt’s and mx’s friendships within their respective groups as well like i believe all of them are soulmates and i just !!!!! love all of their dynamics. i also love love love ukiss’ friendship. those boys hang out with each other so much and so clearly love each other even tho they’re no longer in the same group ;u; basically i love my ults LMAO

19. Which member from Monsta X did you know first?

i think hyungwon?? bc of the memes LMAO or wonho bc of the fighter mv 😳honestly it’s kinda hard to tell bc when i started stanning svt, mx was always hovering in the background so i don’t even remember when i learned all their names? LOL but i would say one of those two 

26. Your opinion on aegyo?

I HATE IT LMAO i’ve always found it cringey and i usually can’t stand it bc usually it’s just secondhand embarrassment express. i think i’ve been desensitized now bc of how goddamn long i’ve been into kpop but i still am not the biggest fan. i think the only aegyo i can stand is jooheon’s (AEGYO KING) and woozi’s oppaya aegyo LOL other than that i’m like ....god why

39. Have you ever met an idol?

AHHHHH LOL yes i have, several times! i met ukiss back in 2014 and got to take a picture with them (which is in my header), and i met kevin again during his concert last year! i got to talk to him and hug him too and it was just AH AMAZING HE’S SO SWEET. i ALSO got to go to a hi-touch with 2AM back during kcon 2013 and i also got to go to a hi-touch with day6 in 2018 (i chickened out of greeting jae even tho i really wanted to go like HEY WE’RE FROM THE SAME HOMETOWN) i ALSO ALSO got to hi-touch with a.c.e last year and HARU JONGIL ALL DAY-ed with chan which was actually so fun! anyways i think that’s about all the times i’ve met an idol? which, now that i look at it, is a lot LOL 

43. How many groups can you name all the members of?

oh man there’s no way i can count the number of groups. basically i can name all 2nd gen kpop groups, a bunch of nugu groups during 2.5 gen/3rd gen, any groups that went on the unit, and a fair amount of groups in 3rd-4th gen. i think around like 2017 ish? i stopped paying as much attention to new groups bc i got busy with college so i’m pretty unfamiliar with people nowadays. but honestly if you’re curious just throw a random group at me and i can try my hand at it LOL (also i know more boy groups than girl groups sorry ;;) 

53. Your favourite lyrics?

OOOOOF THIS IS SO HARD. there’s SO many good lyrics out there! but here’s a few that i particularly love:

You get some right, you get some wrong. Even if it’s hard right now, you’ll be smiling one day - U-Kiss (Someday)

Somebody let me know, tell me which way to go, ‘cause I don’t don’t don’t know - JJ Project (Tomorrow, Today)

Good night baby, I wanna say you’ll be fine. You don’t need to walk alone. Reach your hand out to mine, wanna give you a new light - n1ve (new light)

Even if the world is not on my side, the standard they have for me is so heartless. But we have a dream, don’t ever lose that. Let’s high five and wake up again, let it fly! - The Unit Orange Team (cover of BTS’s Butterfly) (this song always makes me cry. and the fact that jun wrote these lyrics thinking about ukiss..... a sobbing tonight)

Don’t deny our r^2π - U-Kiss (0330) (I’M SO SORRY THIS LYRIC IS SO DUMB BUT I LOVE IT HAHAHAHA) 

57. Favorite 3 iconic moments?

oh god only 3?????? there’s too many omg. well i’ll put some that come immediately to mind (links are included!):

1. in the first official ukiss activity since hoon returned from the army, hoon hugged soohyun and then soohyun tried to kiss him in return on live broadcast, and jun just sat off to the side, covering his face bc he was too goddamn embarrassed LMAO (and then soohyun sulked on twitter later asking if hoon didn’t want to be kissed by him and hoon had to do damage control and say he did, he just got surprised LOL).... honestly ukiss is so wild i expected nothing less from them once they reunited haha (x)

2. seungkwan getting to live out his successful kissme dreams and dance bingeul bingeul (the song he auditioned with) with ukiss themselves. truly one of my favorite fanboy moments (x) (on a related note: i especially love this kissmecarat moment i technically started)

3. monsta x and btob cleopatra game. no words needed LMAO (x)

side note: i wanted to include a monteen moment but couldn’t figure out which i wanted so i went with mxtob instead LOL but a few runner-ups were svt fanboying bc of showho’s backs during the 2017 mama performance, svt dancing to shoot out during their fanmeeting, svt flooding the monteen group chat after mx’s 2018 mama performance, jooheon BAKSU, and mx reacting to svt’s hit LOL

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hello! This message is an open invitation to share anything you want people to know about any of your OCs, or any headcanons you may have for canon characters that you haven't gotten to voice! Have fun and share with us your thoughts!

I’m in a really soft mood all the sudden, so I want to rant about Sera and Bodhi for a bit.

In my brain, everyone survives Scarif. Bodhi loses a hand. Sera has some fun new scars. Everybody is too injured to help with the battle of Yavin. BUT, they’re all still alive.

After this, Sera develops a not so secret crush on Bodhi. He was the one with her during the battle of Scarif, not to mention saved her life after throwing the grenade out of the ship, which he totally did. It only gets worse as she gets to know Bodhi more and more through missions, hanging around the ship and just talking to him.

Bodhi meanwhile is sweating. He likes Sera almost immediately. She’s the one who helped pull him back to reality in the cave. She showed him unapologetic kindness after everything he’s been through with Saw’s people, and is just a bright light of hope in every situation. The longer he knows her, it only gets worse. He doesn’t have Cassian or any of the other soldier’s hang up of seeing her as this little kid. To him she’s this bright, pretty, strong young woman who he’s starting to fall for.

I’m thinking it takes a little while for them to get together. For one, they need time to really get to know each other outside of a crisis situation. Second, they’re both worried about ruining the friendship they’ve formed with each other. And third, Bodhi is awkward and doesn’t know when somebody is flirting with him.

They’re not that subtle and everyone knows how Sera and Bodhi feel about each other, accept Cassian. Cassian has a bit of a blind spot when it comes to Sera. In the back of his mind he always sees her as the little girl hiding in the vents of a stolen ship. Whatever romantic feels she has towards a person are dismissed as “a little crush” like she’s still twelve years old. It takes Jyn having to explain to him, very clearly that Sera is a young woman now and these “little crushes” actually have a lot more weight to them.

Eventually Sera makes the first move after having a nice chat with Baze about it. She does the vague “well, there’s this guy” thing and Baze immediately recognizes who “this guy” is. He essentially tells her that if she doesn’t tell him how she feels, it’s just going to eat away at her for the rest of her life and if the relationship is strong, even if he rejects her, they can survive it. Sera is like “that’s great advice, I’ll be right back”, finds Bodhi, kisses him full on the mouth and says something to the effect of “I like your face, let’s date”.

And now for a series of random couple questions I have taken the time to answer.

Which one hogs the blanket?

It’s a tie, both Bodhi and Sera are very sensitive to cold.

Which one is ticklish?

Bodhi. Sera found out completely by accident. She tries only to use her powers for good.

Which one proposes?

Sera, it just kind of slips out. They’re lying in bed, Bodhi says something, and she says “We could get married.” Bodhi thinks she’s joking, but he looks down and instead of joking she’s looking down embarrassed. “Hey,” he says making her look up at him, “are you serious?” “Yes. I’d really like to marry you someday Bodhi Rook. Do you want to marry me?” “Yes.”

Who buys the really expensive things and who returns the really expensive things bc they needed that money for rent?

Both of them are rather good with money, so it doesn’t get that bad. However, every now and then Sera is able to save a bit of money and spends it on something frivolous. Bodhi: It’s really nice, but we could have used it towards an actual couch. Sera: But dinosaur cookies. Bodhi: Never mind, you’re totally right.

Who is very excited about adventure and who is thinking about how life threatening it is?

Sera is all for danger. She’s been part of the rebellion for years, danger is her middle name. So yeah, I’m going to totally crawl through the vents of this Empire facility to gather the information we need. Bodhi: Please don’t.

Person A of your OTP returning home from war after Person B has believed them to be dead for many months. Are they happy/confused? Do they think they’re hallucinating?

If Bodhi were to come back from a mission after being presumed dead. Sera would lose it. Not caring who's watching she’d run straight to his arms and dissolve into a sobbing mess. She’d hold onto him as if she’s afraid he’d disappear. Bodhi for his part would hold her to him breathing in her scent knowing at last he’s home.

If Sera were to come back Bodhi would be in shock. He’d slowly walk towards her not trusting his eyes. She’d smile, anxious that he’s angry with her for not re-establishing contact sooner. He reaches her and they stand in silence for a moment. Sera smiles weakly, “Hi”. Bodhi pulls her into a hug which Sera returns letting out a strangled laugh, “Hi.”

Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Sera. She likes sleeping in the cockpit of the ship while on missions and usually sits herself down on Bodhi’s lap. Although Bodhi does have a tendency to fall asleep while resting his head on her thigh while she runs her fingers through his hair.

Who made the first move?

Sera almost certainly made the first move. Bodhi would have liked her for a longer time, but never did anything because A) the age difference, B) not knowing if Cassian would approve, and C) thinking she deserved someone braver than him. Sera at some point would kiss him and tell him how much she likes him. He would then be the first to say “I love you”.

What’s each other their cell phone contact names for each other?

Before Relationship: Bodhi for Sera: Stars, Sera for Bodhi: The Pilot

In Relationship: Bodhi for Sera: My Stars, Sera for Bodhi: My Pilot

Who’s the one to go to the grocery store with a full list of what they need, and who’s the one that goes for one thing and gets everything else but that one thing?

Bodhi checks and double checks the list to make sure they’ve got everything they need at the store. Sera usually goes to buy milk or some other little thing, and ends up getting stuff for a nice dinner, but totally forgets the milk.

What are their plans for the future?

After the war is over and the Empire is defeated, they both want to start a family of their own and find some quiet place in the outer rim to settle down. They’ll continue helping the rebellion in getting a government up and running, but after that that small farm on Yavin 4 is calling their name.

Who was popular in high school and who lies that they were just to impress the other?

Sera wasn’t popular in the stereotypical sense, but most people know her and seem to like her.

Bodhi more blended into the background and didn’t have a lot of friends. Mainly he was just trying to get it over with.

Who knocks on the other’s door crying at 4am?

Before they start dating, they usually try to keep their trauma to themselves. Bodhi usually ends up getting up to work on his ship to cope while Sera either lies in bed or goes to one of the ships to sleep. After they start dating, Bodhi still doesn’t go to her, partially because tinkering is the only way to calm his nerves and partially because he wants to be as brave and she thinks he is. Sera at first doesn’t go to him since she still wants to appear like the bright happy person, but eventually she caves and knocks on his door.

Who collects rocks and shells when they go to the beach and who thinks it’s dumb?

Sera collects all sorts of little trinkets from different planets she’s gone to over the years. Bodhi actually likes it and sometimes brings back things of his own to add to the collection.

[parischangedher]

This.

FF/Ao3. Season 17 promo spoilers. Integrates some ideas from posts about the reunion and how everyone will react. Hope you enjoy!

“Tony,” McGee said after his old partner answered the phone.

“Hey Tim,” Tony replied, distracted by his daughter’s voice in the background. “Hold on a sec--No, not now Tali. Go get ready and let me talk to Uncle Tim.” 

Tali’s voice faded as she obeyed her father’s instructions. “Sorry. Can I call you back? We’re already late for school and I’m still packing her lunch.”

“No, Tony, it can’t wait.” McGee said, taking a deep breath. “She’s alive, Tony.”

Tony sighed. “Tim, I told you a million times that I don’t need to hear about these cases anymore. That part of my life is over. And, I really do need to get going. Speaking of Tali, though--don’t let me forget to tell you what she did to this kid bothering her last week. You’d be so proud. She could even be a star on those kid karate shows, you know, and I want to teach her some self-defense just in case, but I’m a bit worried because, well--”

“Tony, shut up!” McGee said, his voice a strange mix of excitement and annoyance.

Tony sighed, slightly intrigued as he continued making Tali’s sandwich. “Alright, McSerious. Calm down, I’ll bite. Who’s alive?”

McGee paused for a moment before answering, trying to find the right words. 

"It’s...it’s her, Tony. It’s Ziva.”

The line fell silent as Tony’s jaw dropped. The knife he was using to spread Tali’s favorite peanut butter fell from his hand and clattered against the plate, suddenly incredibly insignificant. 

He clutched the phone tightly in his hand as blood drained from his face. Feelings he’d long buried came rushing back, and his mind ran wild with questions and disbelief.

“Tony? Did you hear me?” McGee asked. “Ziva’s alive.”

Tony stayed silent, trying to form a coherent response as tears started to form. He covered his mouth with his hand as paralyzing surges of hope, anger, confusion, and guilt overwhelmed him.

“Tony, Ziva’s alive,” he repeated, growing increasingly concerned at the silence. “And, she’s in danger.”

Those were the magic words, apparently, because Tony suddenly stood up straighter with fire in his eyes. No one can hurt her again. He cleared his throat.

“I’m on my way.”

Tony hung up abruptly. Still grasping his phone, he crumpled to the ground in a small sob as the news finally started to sink in. She’s alive.

It was as if he was grieving all over again--but this time, grieving for the choices he made. For not staying with her in Israel or checking in with her for three years. For accepting that she was dead. For wasting so much time. Why didn’t I see it?

He was furious at her, too, of course. For not returning to DC with him and not telling him about Tali. And, now, for letting him believe she was dead for three years.

But most of all, he was overwhelmed with pure joy and the strength of his love for her. How, despite everything she put him through, he would do anything to see her one more time. He reached into his wallet and pulled her Star of David necklace from its permanent spot, fiddling with the pendant. He slapped his hand against the cabinet beside him as more tears slipped down his cheek.

Tali ran out of her room with her backpack in hand and stopped short when she saw her father on the floor.

“Abba, why are you sad?”

Tony looked up at her and laughed softly, finally letting himself see the love of his life in his daughter’s eyes. She looks just like her. He held out his arms and drew Tali close.

“I’m...I’m not sad, Tali. Well, I’m a bit sad. And mad. And guilty, like when you do something wrong. But, most of all Tali, I’m...I’m...very, very happy.”

"Why?”

Tony squeezed her hand. “I’ll tell you someday, love. I promise. But right now, we have to go see someone very special.”

+++

When it was all over, McGee offered to bring Tony and Tali to Ziva’s cabin. Gibbs’ house was still a crime scene, after all, and he knew they needed a place to work this out alone.

Ziva paced around the cabin, trying to calm her pounding heart. Although she had six years to think about what she would say to Tony if she ever saw him again, she felt completely unprepared to confront the man currently making his way to her. The man from whom she took so much. The man whom she treated  terribly the last time she saw him. The only man who could render her speechless from just a glance. And, the man she loved more than any other.

She also had no idea how she would explain to her daughter why she left her with a stranger--even if he was her father--and ceased all contact for three years. A mission, perhaps? 

A cold shudder ran through her as another possibility dawned: Will she even remember who I am?

Lost in her own thoughts, she almost didn’t hear the cabin door creak open. She turned quickly, involuntarily reaching for her weapon before finally, finally seeing him.

“Hello, Tony,” she said, the nervousness in her voice betraying her calm exterior.

He said nothing for a moment. He could only stare, not quite believing his eyes that she was really there, alive and standing before him, waiting.

Relief washed over her as he finally spoke.

“Ziva,” he said, her name feeling familiar yet out-of-place on his lips. He smiled gently and quickly made his way toward her, wrapping his arms around her like he was afraid she’d disappear again. “Oh, Ziva,” he repeated, his voice breaking as a few tears slipped down his face. He kissed her forehead before cradling her face in his hands.

“I can’t believe it’s really you.”

Ziva could only smile and nod, returning his embrace as a tear of her own started to fall. Tony wiped it away with his thumb.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

She shook her head. “No, Tony, I am fine.”

“Good,” he said before he ran his fingers through her hair. “God, I’ve missed you so much, Ziva.”

At that, Ziva glanced away as the guilt rose within her. “I know, Tony. I’ve missed you too. I am...sorry. I am so, so sorry.”

Tony rubbed her cheek softly, encouraging her to look at him. She met his eyes, silently begging him to forgive her for what seemed unforgivable. Her fear almost broke his heart. Again.

“I know that you did what you thought you had to do to protect Tali,” Tony said, his voice shaking. “But, Ziva...how you could you not tell me?”

After he was met with silence, he continued. “I would’ve been there, Ziva. I would’ve been there in a heartbeat. I wanted to be there--for her and for you. You didn’t have to deal with this threat and having our child--our child, Ziva--alone. You know I’ll always have your back no matter what. So...what happened?”

“I...” Ziva started, forcing herself to look at Tony. Her eyes pleaded with him to understand as she took his hand, interlacing her fingers with his. “I know. And I wanted to tell you, Tony. I did. It took a while for me to realize I was pregnant, and by the time I did the threat was already growing. It was...better for all of us if I didn’t make contact. Then, when it grew to be too much...I knew it would be safer if everyone thought I was dead. They would stop looking for her. So, I ran, and I sent her to you.”

“I know what it is like to lose both parents, Tony. I didn’t want the same for Tali. And I knew it was a real possibility with Zahar on the loose. When she was born, I promised her that she would have a better life than I did.”

She hesitated before continuing. “I also couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you because of what I did all those years ago, if I had gotten you involved. I simply would not have been able to live with myself. So, I did what had to be done. I know it was a bit selfish, in that respect. But I was sure that it was the only choice I had. And, I honestly...I honestly did not think I would ever see you two again.”

“Neither did we,” Tony replied. Ziva stiffened at the words, her heart aching with regret. 

“I get it--at least, a part of me gets it,” he said. “But I have to be honest here, Ziva. I won’t start whatever this is with a lie,” he said as he gestured vaguely between them. “The other part of me is still ticked. Your fake death almost killed me. I’m going to need some time. And more answers.” 

Ziva's eyes widened with a mix of pain and hope about what he meant by this.

“But,” he continued. “I’m sorry, too.”

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for,” Ziva said firmly. “I am the one who pushed you away. I didn’t tell you about Tali. I let you think I was dead, and I left you blindsided with a child you did not know you had. Please do not blame yourself for my mistakes, Tony.”

"I don’t. I blame myself for my own mistakes,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “I shouldn’t have left you in Israel, Ziva. I chose DC and all that crap over you. I didn’t check in on you. But mostly, I was a complete idiot when I accepted the idea that you were dead when I knew how well you are trained to disappear. Hell, I’ve worked enough cases to know that if there’s no body, there’s no proof. It’s crime 101.”

Ziva smiled softly and kissed his cheek. “We will get through this, Tony.”

“We must. Because I can’t lose you again, Ziva. I don’t care if I have to spend the rest of my life in some tiny South American village with no cell service,” Tony said, eliciting the laugh he adored so much.

“There are two mistakes I need to rectify immediately, though.”

"Yes?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he took both her hands in his and gave each a soft kiss. A small shudder ran through her at the act, reminiscent of their time in the orange grove.

“Here’s the first: I will not let one more second go by without telling you. It’s actually on my bucket list,” he chuckled to himself.

“Telling me what, Tony?”

He took a deep breath before answering. No more wasting time.

“Telling you...that I love you, Ziva. I have loved you for years, and I will love you forever. When I said I couldn’t live without you, I meant it. I am a mess without you. I am hopelessly, hopelessly in love with you.”

His eyes bored into hers. He was scared. Half of him expected her to pull away, to end this before it even had a chance to begin.

A million emotions ran through her as she processed his words. Words she thought she would never have the chance to hear. Ziva moved closer to him and traced his jaw as a small smile formed.

“I love you too, Anthony DiNozzo. Movie references and all. I want whatever this is, too.”

Tony laughed and looked deeply into her eyes before he leaned down to meet her waiting mouth. Ziva wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss as Tony snaked his arms around her back and pulled her closer. It was slow and soft at first, before it grew into something passionate and raw, full of pain and regret and hope and love. It marked a new beginning neither thought they would get, and they were determined to savor every moment.

Finally, Ziva pulled away as Tony moved to plant kisses on her neck. “What was the second thing?”

“Hmm?” Tony mumbled, now reaching her earlobe. Ziva couldn’t help but laugh. “The second thing you wanted to fix.”

Tony smiled and pulled back. “Ah. Yes. Well for that, I’m going to need a little help.”

He gave her one last peck before stepping away and opening the door, gesturing to the car. As quickly as she could, Tali ran from McGee’s grasp and into her father’s waiting arms.

“Tali, there’s someone here who wants to see you.” 

Ziva’s anxiety spiked. She could barely hold back tears as Tali made eye contact with her for the first time in three years. She had gotten so big, so strong, and so, so beautiful. 

Tali broke away from Tony and looked at her mother. She smiled shyly. “Ima?”

Ziva smiled and got on her knees to be at eye-level with her. “Yes, tateleh. It’s me. Do you remember?” She asked, praying to whatever God would still listen to her that the answer was yes. 

Tali pondered the question, fingering the Star of David necklace she had around her neck. After a moment, she nodded and broke into a DiNozzo-esque grin.

Ziva grinned back and held out her arms, gesturing Tali over. 

When the two met, Ziva couldn’t stop the tears she was holding back from streaming down her face. She gently rocked Tali, running her hands through her hair and whispering softly. “I love you, Tali. I am sorry I had to leave you. So, so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Tali started to pull back from Ziva--which nearly broke her. She then took something out of her pocket. “Abba told me that this is yours. I kept it safe on the plane for you, Ima.”

She opened her palm to Ziva, revealing her Star of David necklace. Ziva smiled and took it from her, replacing it with a kiss. “Thank you, Tali. I love it. And it’s just like yours!”

Tali giggled, again playing with her own child-sized star. 

“Do you think you and Abba can help me put it back on?”

She nodded and looked at Tony, who came over and knelt down beside them. Tony took the necklace from Ziva and gently moved her hair out of the way before wrapping the chain around her neck. He easily clasped the necklace and softly stroked the back of her neck, placing a chaste kiss on her hairline. Ziva turned to face him and smiled. Her hand finally grasped the pendant she thought she’d never wear again.

“Thank you, Tony.”

He smiled and looked at Ziva and Tali. “It’s beautiful. Just you two.”

Tali grinned and reached for both of her parents, together, for the first time. Tony and Ziva smiled at each other before fully embracing Tali, staying that way before their daughter broke the silence.

“Ima! Abba! I am squished!” she yelled as she struggled to break free of her parents’ grasps. Laughing, the two let go. It felt like home.

Tony smiled and kissed his daughter’s head. “You better get used to it, kid. Because Abba and Ima aren’t going anywhere.”

[k-renne]

HELPLESSNESS BLUES - CRACK UP

Your mother always told you to stay away from wolves, wolves like the Logan family who always seemed to be up to no good. It was only natural as a local farmer, you had to protect your livestock. Farmers just weren’t in the company of befriending werewolves.

A/N: This chapter has some heavy angst and then smut, with some abo nonsense

“What do you think they’re up to by now?”Jimmy said to Mellie. 

“Oh, I don’t think that’s something I want to imagine. Those two are probably gonna be at it all night.” 

Jimmy laughed, “Yeah, I did not miss the way he was looking at her. Did I tell you how many boxes of tissues we’ve gone through in the past month?” He shook his head. 

Mellie cringed, “That I definitely don’t wanna know.” 

“He seems so much happier, I’m real happy he found someone.” Jimmy grins. 

“Me too, but farmgirl’s family does worry me.”

He let out a heavy sigh, “Yeah, they could be a problem.” 

Back at the farm you had locked yourself up in your room, you refused to talk to your father and your mother who had driven up as soon as she heard the news. You were much more focused with the window, the dark trees under the moon. The farm didn’t seem to matter to you tonight, you just wanted Clyde to be safe. And that meant he had to stay away, at all costs. 

You knew he would come for you, but so did your father. He made you a cruel promise, Clyde could stand outside your window for as long as he liked but the moment you made any attempt to go to him he’d meet a bullet. 

“Mother you can’t let him do this,” You tried to appeal to her reason. 

“I will not let my daughter go off with a monster, honey you were supposed to find and marry a nice boy. A human. This is all for your own good, you’ll see that someday.” She kept her tone even as she explained it to you. 

No, I won’t. You thought to yourself. 

No matter what, Clyde would be hurt. You could risk it all but pay the ultimate price. You just couldn’t see it working out, the least you could do is keep him safe. You owed him that much. 

Tonight you felt like a little girl again, trapped and powerless. Your independence stripped from you. That feeling crushed you as you waited for Clyde, sitting by the window and wiping tears from your face. 

It was midnight when you heard rustling in the trees, Clyde walking out from the treeline in just a pair of pants. Faintly you could see two other werewolves in the background, their eyes glowing like fireflies in the dark. You hated that they’d have to witness this. 

He had that same longing look in his eyes when he walked up to your window, they were warm and wide with hope, happy to see that you seemed mostly okay. You started to cry again, he came much closer. You clasped your hand over your mouth to muffle your sob, shaking your head. 

When you opened the window Clyde smiled up at you, “Sweetheart please, s’gonna be okay. We’re gonna get ya outta here,” He nodded. 

You didn’t understand how he could get close like this, leave himself so exposed to danger at a moments notice. And still he was comforting you. Couldn’t he see? “No,” You gasped. “Don’t get any closer.” It felt so painful just to say those words, unable to suppress your whimpers as you spoke.

He stopped in his tracks, a deep frown on his face. He looked back to the forest briefly, before turning back to you. His voice was thick with emotion, “But I have to farmgirl, ya can’t stay here. S’not safe.” He shook his head. “And I’d never get to see ya...I can’t do that sweetheart. I need ya to be safe. I need to know that you’re safe.” 

You smiled, but your eyes were full of tears. “And it won’t be safe if I leave Clyde, I can’t be with you.” Your voice was shaky and emotional as you spoke. 

Clyde took a step back, as if he was wounded. He felt his heart break at your words. It only lasted for a moment before he turned angry, it wasn’t right for you to be saying such things. You didn’t know what safe meant. He growled low, “You don’t have to be with me sweetheart but I will not be lettin’ ya stay here. Not with a family that don’t even love ya the way they should.” 

You hiccuped as more tears fell, your vision blurry. But you had made your choice already. “No, I won’t go Clyde.” You couldn’t. 

Clyde pressed his lips in a thin line, his nostrils flaring. “I didn’t come here to argue about this, ain’t no time for that.”

He was walking closer, no! “Please Clyde, don’t-you can’t come any closer,” You pleaded. 

He wouldn’t listen. He wasn’t listening, a determined expression on his face as he began to climb up to your window. You shut your eyes for just a moment, trying to think. As a last resort you closed your window, latched it shut. Maybe, now he’d listen. 

His eyes were so sad when he was met with glass, your back turned to him. He rested his forehead against the cool glass, hot breath fogging up the window. “Please,” He begged you. 

The cock of a shotgun turned his attention away from you, there below him your father and a few men stood with guns. “Boy you best get off of my property and away from my daughter before I shoot, can’t ya see she doesn’t want ya?” He tilted his head, aiming his gun. 

Clyde’s breath caught in his throat, he felt sick to his stomach. He stumbled off to the treeline drunkenly, defeated. He was met with the open arms of his siblings, their commiserating howls filling the night air. 

After that night Clyde had tried to call you, reach you in anyway but you couldn’t bare to speak to him. He tried visiting the farm too, but each time it was heavily guarded and new trespassing signs on the property kept him away. One day he gave up trying to call you, he hated talking on the phone anyways. Never had the courage to leave a message, he just wanted to hear your voice. 

Eventually it was time for you to move on, not just from a failed attempt at farming, but from what felt like a horrible break up. You had some money saved up, so it was time for you to leave Boone County behind and leave behind the pain of your past. Maybe one day you’d have a farm again, but next time you wanted to do it completely on your own, somehow. 

There was nothing left for you in Boone county. 

It took Clyde a lot longer to pick himself back on his feet, because that feeling never really goes away. Not with you. He started learning how to bartend and it was going okay, at least work was a good distraction. He never really imagined himself owning a bar. At one point he even got himself landed in prison, but that all was part of the plan. 

Years later you’re back in Boone county for a friends wedding, it hurts to be here. So much that you feel like you need to get a drink just after the first day being back. Regrets weighed heavy on your heart. 

Duck Tape, what a strange name for a bar, yet so fitting for Boone County. Some things never seem to change.

“Farmgirl,” Clyde’s eyes widened. He knew he smelled something familiar, something sweet. But he thought his mind was just playing tricks on him. 

“Clyde-” Of course you’d run into him here, the one person who could reel you right back in to the place you were so desperately trying to leave. 

“Are you alright sweetheart?” He asked you, his voice soft. Seeing you now made him forget all his heart ache, because his only concern was you and he could tell you were hurting.

You felt your eyes water, you sniffled as you tried to fight back tears. “I’ll be okay,” You quickly rubbed away a tear. Laughing as you tried to smile. 

He felt intense frustration seeing your pain, knowing that your parents probably caused it. How long had you been suffering like this? It made him angry, he didn’t even feel it as his fist slammed down on the bar counter, jaw clenching. The other patrons stared at him but he didn’t care. 

“We need to talk,” He gritted out. You knew you couldn’t avoid conversation this time. So you nodded. 

“Okay Clyde.” His first question was where you had been, all this time. 

“I never even knew that you left, all this time.” Clyde let out a heavy sigh. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I tried to talk to ya, I knew you were upset but I just needed to know that you were okay. Almost got myself arrested one time, surprised they didn’t get a restraining order on me.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make that any easier. But it was so hard, I-you were in danger Clyde. I did what I did to keep you safe.” You justified. 

“Keep me safe?” He raised his voice, his eyes going wide. He huffed in frustration, he knew that your fears weren’t unfounded but still he wished that you trusted him more than that. To protect you. The alpha in him ached. “That was supposed to be my job sweetheart, I-we would’ve been fine. You just had to trust me.” 

You frowned, you could see now how much your actions hurt him. You didn’t think he deserved to go through this again, you pulled away. “I should go Clyde.” 

Clyde’s hand shot out to grab your wrist, growling at you. “Stay.” He demanded in a harsh tone. When you stopped pulling away his features softened, “Please farmgirl, stay tonight.” His brown eyes were pleading, burning with a familiar longing. 

“Stay where?” You asked. You were planning on staying at a motel, but you didn’t know what he meant exactly. 

“With me,” He said, blushing. He didn’t mean for it to come out forward. “Ah, ya don’t have to…” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away shyly. “I just miss ya that’s all.” 

You smiled at Clyde, for him you felt like you’d do anything if he asked. “Okay.” You nodded. 

Something about walking into Clyde’s humble little trailer felt like home, it felt warm. You felt your heart race just thinking about how he actually lived here. 

“Sorry if it’s a little messy, don’t usually have company,” Clyde cringed, seeing the empty beer bottles and pizza container, a pair of socks on the floor. But if anything it was a relief to you, it was surprising to you that he wasn’t married by now because he always seemed like the type. Even after all this time, a deep part of you still wanted to be with him. 

“That’s alright,” You reassured him. 

Clyde gave you a strange look. He was panicking, he had you in his home and it was his idea to ask you to stay but now he had no idea what to do with you. And he didn’t even have a place for guests to sleep, he was fucked. At least he could try to pretend like he knew what he was doing, he turned on the lamp next to the couch. “Would ya like somethin’ to drink farmgirl?” 

“Clyde, I haven’t worked on a farm in years.” You said in a strained voice. You had to tell him; the truth weighed heavy on you.

“Sorry, it’s an old habit I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck. You only noticed now that his left arm was different, made out of metal with fingers that looked like they could actually move. You briefly wondered how he got it, you were happy for him though. It’s what he deserved. 

“It’s okay, you can still call me whatever you like,” You softly smiled at him. He was blushing, again. Thankful too because he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop calling you that. 

You sat on the couch next to Clyde, each of you with a beer in hand. There was distance between you that you were hesitant to close. You longed for the closeness that you used to have with him, to kiss him again. 

“So um, what have you all been up to lately?” You asked him. 

Clyde thought about it for a moment, he didn’t feel like anything all too important had happened in the time you were gone. Sure, there was the recent heist he helped Jimmy pull off, but he’d rather not get into that one. “Jimmy got divorced,” He said bitterly. 

“Oh, that’s too bad.” 

“Yeah but he’s with this other girl now, Sylvia. Must make him happy cause I don’t see him much without her, and he’s got his daughter too in Lynchburg.” 

“What about Mellie?” You missed her too, you felt like you had missed so much. And you liked listening to his voice. 

“Mel’s with this guy Joe Bang, and I don’t know about him. But she seems happy, I guess.” Clyde looked off in the distance as he talked. 

You frowned, “But are you happy?” 

Clyde felt a breath catch in his chest, he should be happy. He had more cash than he knew what to do with, the bar was successful, his family was doing well and he had this fancy new arm. He let out the breath he was holding, “I’m doing just fine sweetheart.” 

You laughed, “Now you sound like me.” 

“But you lost everything, your farm, your family-” 

“And you,” You added, interrupting him. You were smiling but your eyes were sad. 

Clyde pressed his lips together in a line. He didn’t know what to say to that, so he took a long sip of his beer as he tilted his head back. He felt your soft hand on his arm, the heat of your body as you moved to sit flush against him. It was too much, after all this time. The longing he had for you came right back in droves, while for years he had tried to push those feelings away his mind was screaming at him. Mate.  

Your hand was on his chest now and he felt his cock twitch to life, “Sweetheart-” You had to stop touching him like this, he could feel himself spiralling into need. “-Please don’t.” He begged you. 

“I’m sorry,” You rested your forehead against his shoulder. “I missed you too.” 

Clyde hissed, feeling his cock painfully harden, “Ah it hurts.” He groaned. 

“What? Are you alright?” You asked, concerned. 

Oh his face had to be so read, it was too embarrassing to say. “Uh, s’been a long time for me. And my kind-we get sensitive,” Clyde grunted as you squeezed his chest. You were trying to comfort him, but your touch was doing something else entirely. 

“I don’t understand.” You said, shaking your head. 

“Werewolves need touch, in certain places. I...it’s been so long since anyone’s touched me.” His voice was throaty as he explained. He didn’t know why he was telling you this, letting his dirty shame spill right from his lips. He wasn’t meant to be alone the way he had been, but he didn’t really want to be with anyone else but you. It just felt wrong to even try. 

That was when you looked down, noticing the large bulge of Clyde’s cock straining in his shorts. Oh gosh, the realization hit you with arousal. Seeing that made you feel tingly, his flushed cheeks and needy expression. 

“I can touch you.” You resumed your ministrations, lazily tracing the buttons on his shirt. 

“Farmgirl, please don’t feel bad. I don’t need anyone’s pity, especially not from you sweetheart.” He shook his head. 

“But Clyde, I want to touch you.” You admitted. 

“Hmm?” Your words didn’t quite register with him. But your hand continued to drift lower until you were palming his bulge in your hand. 

“Ah sweetheart-” Clyde panted. “At least lemme kiss you.” 

His hand tilted your chin up for easy access as he planted a soft kiss across your lips. The first kiss was soft, but as you kissed him back with years of pent up passion his own mouth grew hungry as it seeked yours. The taste of beer still on his tongue as you moaned into his mouth, just kissing him made you feel on fire. You remembered what you were doing as you continued to rub and tease him through his pants. 

You felt the vibrations of his chest as he growled lowly, arm pulling you closer to him. “Feels so good farmgirl,” He huffed. And he wasn’t just talking about your hand over his cock, holding you this close felt good too. You smelled so sweet, and his own scent was getting all over you. He needed more, Clyde nosed down your cheek to breathe in your scent against your neck, kissing and sucking the skin into his hot mouth. You let out a sweet little moan and Clyde pressed his lips harder against your skin. This felt like happiness. 

You huffed in frustration as you tried to undo Clyde’s pants and free his cock, the button pulled taut by the size of his bulge. “Ah lemme do it,” He moved your hand out of the way, freeing his cock with ease. He sighed at the relief, tension dropping in his shoulders. 

He looked even bigger now, his cock heavy as you gently gripped him in your hand. “Fuck,” Clyde cursed at your touch, his cock drooling onto your hand. 

“Oh,” That was unexpected. You felt the velvety skin of his cock become slick, what a strong reaction to your touch. It was new, but it only served to turn you on. 

“Mmm-sorry, s’a werewolf thing. Makes it easier, s’like a natural lubricant.” Clyde groaned as he apologized, the warmth from your soft hand was doing things to him. It wasn’t normally this bad on his own, maybe because it had been so long. He could only imagine how bad it was gonna be the time his next rut came, ohhhh. His mind went blank as you began to stroke him. 

Clyde’s lips desperately found yours, his hand moving over yours as his kiss made you weak. “Don’t stop, tighter now, faster,” He rasped, showing you with the help of his own hand. 

The sound of his slick cock in your hand along with his lips meeting yours was so arousing you could hardly focus on the task at hand, you wanted to just melt into him and let him take over completely. But he needed this, and you would finish what you started. 

“Not gonna be long now sweetheart,” Clyde warned you. With how deprived he’d been of touch, there’s no way he’d last. He could feel that he was close already, just the thought of cumming all over your hand. One last squeeze of his cock had him spilling hot cum all over your fist, Clyde moaning your name as he threw his head back. You continued to jerk him as his cock throbbed, more cum spurting from the reddened tip. 

He needed to kiss you again, his mouth messily pressing against yours as his hand fisted your hair. His cheeks were red as he pulled back to look at you, lips slightly parted as he panted. He was so grateful, but he knew that a handjob wouldn’t be enough for him, maybe just for tonight. He had cum so much that your hand was coated in him, his mind thought of a few dirty things to do with all that cum but for now he cleaned up his mess.

Clyde looked up at you as kneeled in front of you on the couch, his hand on your thigh. He bent closer to nuzzle between your thighs before your gentle push stopped him. “I need to take care of ya sweetheart, I can smell how wet you are.” He shook his head. To leave you unfinished like this when you just gave him the sweetest relief wasn’t right. 

You just smiled down at him, “Not tonight, it’s pretty late and I’m tired. I know you probably are too Clyde.” 

He nodded okay, he wouldn’t push it if you didn’t want to. He led you to his bedroom, gently taking your hand. “I can let ya borrow some of my clothes to sleep in. I got some old t-shirts.” He said as he began to unbutton his shirt after stepping out of his pants.

“Sounds good to me.” You began to strip and Clyde just gave you this look, his eyes so dark it made you shiver. He quickly looked away as he tried to distract himself by searching in a drawer for something for you to wear. You had seen him naked before, but he had never seen that much skin for you. It was hard to tear his eyes away from someone so gorgeous. He tossed a t-shirt behind him without looking, or else he’d get hard all over again. 

But seeing you in his clothes might just be worse, it made him feel like you were his and the way his shirt barely covered your thighs had him all too pleased. He didn’t feel tired until he laid down, his body feeling like it weighed a ton as soon as he hit the mattress. And with you right against him, so soft and warm, it wasn’t long before Clyde passed out. 

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