#soc fics

[funnyao3]

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Wylan rolls his eyes. “Your neighbor, then. And you should date him. He’s sweet.”

Kuwei scowls. “Don’t meddle in my love life just because yours is in shambles.” 

“Say that again and I’ll start crying,” Wylan warns teasingly, and Kuwei groans dramatically. 

--flower dictionary for exes by MaudeAlise

[19burstraat]

“If you’re here for something honest and respectable, I’ll eat my guns piecemeal,” said Jesper. He scrubbed his face. “How long have you been telling those poor girls about your sick mother in Oldendaal?” “It was Zierfoort, actually.” “I don’t care where it was! What are you doing?” “I thought I wasn’t supposed to involve you in my schemes anymore.” said Kaz petulantly, glancing in the mirror to rearrange his jacket. “Kaz, you playing the victim is about as natural as a flock of lime-green flamingos, so don’t bother,” said Jesper. “Is it a heist? A blackmail job? Gathering information?” “Who said it was just one thing?” said Kaz, straightening his cuffs with two brisk jerks. “This place is the playground for the children of the rich and prosperous, Jes. I could have a million reasons for being here. But since you’re here for reasons both honest and respectable, I can assure you I’ll stay out of your way–” --- (jesper goes back to university. kaz follows him... and trouble, as usual, follows both of them.)

[crashes through the double doors, trips over a loose flagstone, and lands in a miserable heap on the floor with ten broken bones and smashed glass all around me] guys I finished it :)

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Okay I’ve been toying with an idea for a Six of Crows au post-Crooked Kingdom where Van Eck won for a little while now and yeah idk but I had a scene idea come to me just now so I’m gonna write it here to see what you guys think and if there’s any interest then I might add it to my list of fics to write

This feels like a weird introduction but, er, here we go:

Inej knew the moment Kaz got home. There were no longer any crowds in the house to come to attention at his entrance, or if there were then no-one had bothered to come down to the half-room and tell Inej, but she could hear his voice drifting through the vents as soon as the door upstairs banged shut behind him.

“Where’s Inej?”

“Where do you think?” Matthias’ reply came roughly, and Inej could all but picture the disapproving grimace that must be crossing his face about now.

Let him judge. She didn’t need to leave the half-room, and for as long as that was true she wouldn’t. The vents did not give her every room though, and she did miss gathering her secrets. She wondered if there was anyone else in the house, but the five of them. Five? She stopped and counted them on her fingers. Yes, five. Hopefully still five. Inej had not bothered to leave the half-room in days, and no-one had been down to see her since yesterday morning.

She heard the door click open behind her, of course, but she did not bother to look up as Dirtyhands entered the room.

“Wraith,”

“Don’t you read the papers, Kaz?” Inej asked, without turning, “The Wraith is dead,”

She stood up, hand wandering across the table for her little pot of jurda. It tasted like shit and it wasn’t nearly as strong as she wanted it to be, but it took less than a month for the price of the blossoms to surpass the height of the stars so she’d have to make do with whatever they had left.

“Inej-”

“They found her body on the steps outside the Church of Barter almost three months ago, remember?” she finally turned to face Kaz, unscrewing the lid on the little silver pot as she did so, “Killed by some mercenary called the White Blade, who still hasn’t been found by they way in case you haven’t seen the latest. I guess it’s difficult to catch a ghost,”

Difficult to catch a wraith.

“We’ve had this conversation several times, Inej-”

“And we’re going to have it again,”

Inej placed an orange jurda blossom on her tongue, then offered the open container to Kaz. It was almost empty. He waved her off.

“I thought you didn’t go in for that sort of thing,”

Inej shrugged.

“Gotta stay awake somehow, haven’t I? We’re busy,”

“We’re not on a job”

“We’re never on a job. Unless the reason you’ve bothered to grace me with your presence is a proposition?”

Kaz shook his head.

“I just wanted to tell you there’s no news,”

Inej looked away. There was never any news. And yet somehow she always expected differently.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?”

“Probably,”

Inej caught another jurda blossom between her fingers. She needed to stay awake, because if she slept she would see him. She would see all the ways she’d failed.

“It wasn’t your fault, Inej, we’re having the same conversations on repeat can’t you see-,”

“And we’ll have them again,” she shrugged, “We will have this conversation again, Kaz, because I made a mistake and you are coddling me like a child who won’t be able cope if you tell them something was their fault. Tell me it was my fault, Kaz! We both know that it’s true,”

Kaz shook his head.

“I’d rather repeat the previous,”

“Then let’s,” snapped Inej, because hell if this jurda wasn’t strong enough to keep her awake then maybe an argument would be, “Let’s repeat the goddamn conversation, Kaz, because you’re right. We have the same two conversations on repeat and do you want to know why? Because I am owning up to the mistake I made and I am trying to deal with the consequences of it, but you had no right to do what you did, do you understand me? You messed up and you need to take some damn responsibility, because if you think-”

“You always knew Tailoring Dunyasha’s body to look like yours was a possibility for your escape option,” said Kaz, calmly.

She hated how quiet his voice was, how slow and deliberate he sounded next to the and ramblings that she could not stop from stumbling out of her.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” she hissed, slamming her jurda back down on the table.

“I couldn’t have done anything to stop that,”

“You could have tried,”

“Inej-”

“Shevrati,”

Know-nothing.

She waved a hand vaguely at the door.

“Get out,”

Kaz turned to leave, then paused.

“I am sorry, Inej. They’d like to see you upstairs, you know. Nina misses you,”

“Nina can come down here then,”

“Inej… I can’t do anything for you but apologise,”

“Keep you apologies,” she snarled, and when the door had closed behind him added: “Choke on them,”

Kaz could apologise all he wanted. She would not forgive him. What right did he have to expect anything different from her than this? Did any of them? Kaz had not had to watch his parents cry, as they carried home the body of a child that wasn’t theirs. Kaz had not had to feel the ironclad grip of the person he thought he’d trusted most in the world as they held him back and told him to swallow his sobs and keep quiet. Kaz had not given up and gone limp in their arms, a mess of tears and useless prayers, as he saw his parents slip from his grasp once again and knew that he would not have the chance to tell them truth.

Kaz had also not failed the others, and did not have to feel the truth of that choking him every time he saw them. Kaz had not spent almost three months barely daring to venture out of the half room, just so he would never have to lock eyes with Jesper Fahey. There was a scream inside Inej that had been slowly building itself since the day of the auction, and if she did not find a way to release it soon it may very well eat her alive.

[jackwolfes]

demigodbeautiies' end of 2023 grishaverse fic rec list ✨

this list is a selection of grishaverse fics i read and enjoyed in 2023! i've also had the absolute pleasure of getting to know a lot of these writers and hope you enjoy any of these fics if you give them a read 😊

///

spring cleaning by CSHfic and VSfic: G, Gen. Nina and Jesper help Wylan redecorate. i'm such a sucker for post-canon fics and this is a very very sweet one

put up with the rain by tepesh (@voidfishersong) : T, Gen. Kaz and Inej learn something about Jesper. tastiest fabrikator reveal fic i've ever bloody read

those who pull us free by @the-jennnster: M, Wesper/Gen, hurt/comfort. Wylan deals with nightmares. super artfully written, short and sweet and the right kind of painful.

like gravity by @basicbard : M, Wesper, angst with light smut. Super beautifully written

the open door invites the thief by thegoldenkneazle (@wylanvanfeck): M, Kanej/Gen. Wylan ends up in the midst of something he shouldn't, shenanigans ensue.

when crows blush by talking-crow (@six-of-crows-hyperfixation): E, Wesper, Smut. Wesper work in an office together and fuck around. super fun, super hot.

the pleasures of altruism by dimtraces (@doorsclosingslowly): E, Kazper, Smut. look me in the eye and tell me jesper WOULDN'T fabrikate a fucking machine for his best friend

bite my lips (lover red) by the_lady_king: E, Wesper, Smut. i just think it's really fun and really hot so it's going on the list.

contrast ratio by anonymous: E, Wesper, Smut. Jesper and Wylan have fun with hidden cameras. i wont lie this fic rewired my brain a bit in a very, very fun way.

holiest thing i know by @chaosride: E, Wesper, A/B/O. omegaverse can be a bit of a marmite trope but this fic in particular plays around with ketterdam's worldbuilding in a very intriguing, well done way and it's also just really hot i'm ngl

screw top rose by calicomma: E, Wesper, trans!Wylan. impeccable tender domestic romance vibes.

///

and the shameless self promo zone below because i've written a lot of things i'm very, very proud of this year 💖

a choice of two locked doors: M, Wesper, arranged marriage au. my current magnum opus and general baby, incredibly proud with the way this turned out.

the bed we loved in: M, Wesper, immediately post canon hurt/comfort. just, very pleased with the vibes of it.

not just girls: E, Wesper, trans!Wylan character study. really gratified with how much this seems to have meant to people.

[purpleyin]

Time for an angsty many years post-Crooked Kingdom Kaz whump concept. More of a not!fic style but I hope it's still enjoyable🖤

all the nightmares I’ve had

Years after Kaz gets his revenge, Pekka Rollin's family is killed in a tragic accident. It has nothing to do with Kaz or the Crows but Pekka is convinced Kaz is responsible. Pekka is deep in his grief, reckless and has no fear for what he could lose any more, Inej's threats to himself forgotten. He surprises Kaz, and his touch aversion works against him, so Pekka does manage to take him down along with the help of some chemicals. Kaz had made progress on that, less guarded and covered up these days, but if there's one person guaranteed to take him right back to the barge mentally it's Pekka touching him. Pekka gets him into the coffin so easily after that, buries him six feet deep, but he doesn't just want to kill him. He sets up a way that Kaz won't run out of air down there. No, it will be dehydration that kills him as he slowly starves down there too. He's groggy from the drugs and injured from the scuffle with Pekka but he knows well enough he has no way out this time because it isn't locks he can pick that trap him, instead an oppressive mass of earth bearing down on him, gravity itself working against his escape. Even those who try to pull off such tricks as entertainment often die trying, so Kaz has no hope he can evade this when the circumstances here are designed to kill. As he comes back to more himself, the dawning reality is so much harder to deal with. Being left for dead is his worst nightmare happening all over again, despite that it isn't the barge, it's still too close. He won't call out via the spout in case Pekka is listening, waiting for him to beg - he won't give Pekka that satisfaction. Pekka won't have been foolish enough to bury Kaz where anyone else would overhear any cries for help anyway. Pekka's hubris is much the same as Kaz's was, abandoning the simple solution of a quick death because he wants him to suffer as long as possible, for it to be fitting. Just how long Kaz can last is partly a matter of willpower, how long he can remain calm and hang on to the will to live. Hope has never been something Kaz put much stock in but he clings to the hope that people will miss him, that they will care to look for him, that he will be found in time, not forgotten down here as he grows groggier again with lack of water. To distract himself, he stews on plans for his own revenge once he gets out of this, until it becomes too hard to think properly and the old fears creep back into his hazy mind. Water starts to seeps in from rain down the air spout, leaving him wet and cold and losing any remaining faith that he will get out of this nightmare. The Crows don't know Kaz is missing until the next day and they spend over a day searching the city until Jesper finally gets a feeling drawing him towards Black Veil island, hoping desperately that the incredibly rare mineral he's sensing there is indeed from Kaz's rather unique wedding ring Inej got him on her travels. They scour the cemetery for the exact source, silent as the grave once they find the freshly dug ground someone had tried to pack down harder, now sodden with the night's rain as well. Inej is the one to spot the strange pipe coming out of the ground. "He's still alive," she proclaims, and Jesper just hopes she's right about what it means. Inej starts scraping back soil in swathes with her knives, while the rest of them go to locate some metal Jesper can fashion into shovels. The time spent digging up that grave feels like the longest time of Jesper's life. When they pull Kaz - pale and wet and shaking but alive - from the coffin, Jesper is witness to the most public display of affection he's ever seen by Kaz and Inej. Kaz clings to Inej like she's his lifeline to the living, though Kaz is careful once again to not touch any skin. Jesper has to look away, giving them their privacy as best he can, until the moment passes and Inej turns to ask Wylan for the water bottle they brought along.

When Kaz seems a bit more focused, Inej asks “Pekka?” with her voice like a knife. “Pekka,” Kaz confirms sharply, but his eyes taking on a dark far away look, staring past them all in a way that worries Jesper. Inej leaves abruptly, with murder in her eyes, so it falls to Jesper and Wylan to cautiously help Kaz to the carriage. They're careful to keep their touches firmly over Jesper's coat that they help the shivering Kaz into, in case their proximity might trigger him like it used to. They go back to the mansion, setting Kaz up in the guest room they all know is really his anyhow. Kaz is quiet, no smart remarks and no refusal of the help they give, accepting any comfort they can provide him that isn't touch. Wylan brings up a pot of hot, very sugary tea and so much food. The tray placed on the side of the bed is laden with far more than he could possibly eat, but every item is a favourite of Kaz's; foods Kaz would deny caring one jot for but anyone observant enough would know to be true. Jesper waits by his side, wishing he could hug Kaz, however briefly, to feel him solid and safe in his arms, but he doesn't dare ask right now. Being there is hopefully enough. With Jesper watching over him, Kaz sleeps, curled up in the layers of soft, warm blankets they gave him that he'd normally scoff at and turn down.

When Kaz wakes, Jesper's heart skips a beat in anticipation as Kaz reaches out his hand as if to touch him, only for that hope to be dashed as Kaz snatches his hand back suddenly, not able to complete the intended action. Kaz scowls, looking down at the floor. But then he says something that surprises Jesper, “Thank you, Jes.” Kaz's gaze shifts to looking down at the bed covers as he says it, a discomfit evident in the tension of his shoulders and the tight grip of one hand on his other in his lap. “You don't need to thank me, you podge.” Jesper replies, exasperated but fondly said nevertheless. “This is what we do, we look out for one another.” Kaz simply nods and Jesper decides now is a good time to fetch more food and drink, to leave Kaz to his thoughts for a bit.

Inej comes back in the evening, her clothes freshly changed and the scent of the cleaner she uses on her knives trailing in her wake. She only says "It's done" to the room when she appears suddenly, no one needs to ask what. Then she climbs onto the bed with Kaz, prompting Jesper to quickly leave them be. The newspapers the next day don't show the gruesome detail of a man taken to pieces in a depiction of any sort for that would be far too improper, but they spare no words to describe the unexpected downfall of a once barrel boss practically forgotten and by now only remarkable in his manner of death. That morning, when they take up a tray of food and the paper, he sees Kaz smirk, for the first time since they rescued him, at the sight of the headline.

[capinejghafa]

Idk how to say this without being mean lol but I think sometimes the writing in certain modern au fics make Inej sound white. Which is a problem because Inej is *checks notes* Suli.

I guess I could chalk it up to different settings and situations. The linguistics have to match the tone of the story... but also I think a fic that does a great inclusion of her culture is Adagio by @whatanybodygets (that's one of many who do a wonderful job! It's just the first one that came to mind.). I love how it incorporates Suli culture and modern settings. It's not the main focus, but it's important to Inej's character and her relationship with the others. I don't always get that in fics, the idea that Inej's culture is as important as her relationships with others.

I could be reading too much into this but I also know how easy it can be to dismissive of a character's culture (specifically if they are POCs) in favor of the story.

[v1ntagecassette]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik, Kaz Brekker & The Crows Ensemble, Kaz Brekker & Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker & Jesper Fahey Summary:

A new hire has turned up at the Crow's Nest Bookshop, and he looks utterly terrified to be here.

A new customer has turned up at the Crow's Nest Bookshop, and she's profoundly distracting.

A new Barrel boss has turned up at the Crow's Nest Bookshop, and he's about to raze it all to the ground.

[medubuhuh]

In almost every six of crows fic I've read Roeder is just there being vaguely useless

[somanywords]

the grey sea and the long black land     

Rating: Gen

Relationship: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa

Tags: Kaz Brekker Inej Ghafa background characters Inej Ghafa's Mother Inej Ghafa's Father Post Crooked Kingdom 50 Sentences Canon-Typical Violence POV Inej Ghafa

Length: 1.9k | Complete

Summary: 

In the dream, she wakes up each morning and knows exactly who Inej Ghafa is, the churning sea inside her finally quieted.

Inej sifts through the new tentative foundations of her life to learn which direction is forward--Told in fifty sentences.

Read it on AO3!

[aerequets]

trying to erase the trace of...

[funnyao3]

“I had such a funny dream,” Wylan says, keeping his voice hushed. 

Jesper’s spine stiffens, ever-so slightly. Wylan having a funny dream could either mean he’s about to share a harmless and sweet anecdote, or a harrowing and traumatic memory.

-pendulum swing passengers by MaudeAlise

[19burstraat]

“Oh, Wylan,” said Nina, peering through the half-open door of her room at the Sweet Shop. “Again?” “It’s not as if I do it on purpose,” Wylan muttered through his swelling lip. --- Kaz Rietveld lay down and died on the Reaper's Barge. ..and then?

remember this post? particularly these tags?

#an AU where nina and wylan both end up in the dime lions is mad. Nina And Wylan's Adventures In Fucking Pekka Right Up#maybe rollins is always fated to fall. may death never stop kaz brekker...

haha. yeah

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Finally finished the outline of Daughter of the Rain and Snow and I know exactly how the ending is going down almost pretty much (details are blurry, but plot and character arcs are completely outlined and ready to write instead of just bullet points or vague ideas) so out of interest (won’t necessarily stick to it 100% but would still like to know) what would anyone like to see next if you would like to continue reading my stuff?

Explanations below cut

Sequel

I have every intention to write this one, I have characters but thus far not a main plot more of just the premise. Would follow Ahra, Evan, Yara, maybe Vix, and maybe Lilia as our young Dregs and start around when Kaz and Inej left for Ravka since the Dregs was kinda on the verge of collapse whoops. Can’t go into too much detail or they’ll be spoilers for the current fic but there’d be the opportunity for some Aimee and Kiada, and Kanej would still be present but they might not be in focus (again, can’t explain too much or they’ll be spoilers). There might even be some Fiona or some Maya stuff who knows

I really want to write this bc I really want to write Ahra’s story so it’ll probably end up coming around at some point but I realise it might not be the most interesting to y’all when it’s mostly ocs so yeah

Feliks had been more than lenient with Ahra. He’d been the only person who ever gave her a real job - playing her violin in the reception of the White Rose - and when things had predictably gone haywire he’d been good enough to only turn her away, not Evan too. Ahra hadn’t much cared for the job, she loved her violin but she did not enjoy watching the Rose’s clients come and go and she certainly hadn’t cared for having her skin paled and her hair Tailored white for such purposes, but it was easy money and enough to keep them ticking over as all of Evan’s funds petered away on overpriced little medicine bottles. She studied the thin stack of kruge in her hand, thinking of Kaz standing opposite her in the alley by the Slat.

“I don’t need your charity, Brekker,”

“And far be it from me to offer you any,”

Not charity, but she didn’t doubt Dirtyhands had his own purposes in paying her for a job she failed to finish. Still, cash was cash. And medicine was medicine. She tucked it back into her breast pocket and tapped it lightly, slipping round the corner and pulling a bone light from her jacket.

What Evan didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

Helnik

This was an idea I had a looooong time ago and I shared a little snippet scene on here, but then I started writing Daughter of the Rain and Snow and never looked back. I really want to write this one I think it could be pretty cool, it would be relatively short set in between Crooked Kingdom and King of Scars and take place in Ravka; based on a headcanon I have about Nina learning how to use her new power and as a result of it experiencing hallucinations of Matthias being with her that she is fully convinced are real. Following Nina, Zoya, and Genya as they try to navigate this and worry that they shouldn’t let Nina got to Fjerda in this state.

“What time is it?” she mumbled into the cushions.

“A little after seven bells,”

“Saints, how disgusting,”

Nina sighed, in a mixture of content and tiredness. The luxury of the Little Palace was a mostly welcome change from crawling in next to Matthias in the tomb at Black Veil - or even of the hotel room at the Geldrenner. They’d shared a sofa, so close to each other; limbs entangled, chest against her back so she could feel his heart beating. A steady rhythm, no matter what he was feeling. The big bed here was more comfortable, but the closeness felt like an aching absence, as though the few feet between them spanned for miles. She reached out behind her and found something soft that she decided was his arm.

“Come closer,” she whispered, and she imagined the way he’d smile.

He would press her fingers to his lips and she would roll over to face him. She’d reach out and touch his cheek, and he would catch her hands in his.

“Witch,”

“Barbarian,”

“Little Red Bird,” he would say, just before his lips met hers

The sunlight would be warm and soft on their skin as they moved closer, as she felt his heart beating beneath her fingers.

But he hadn’t moved. He hadn’t come closer, or kissed her fingers, or brushed his lips against hers. He had not gently pushed her hand down towards his wrist so their fingers could intertwine.

“Matthias?”

Nina made the mistake of rolling over, and began to scream.

Wesper

There’s a line in Crooked Kingdom where Jesper says if Van Eck really couldn’t cope with Wylan not being able to read he could have told people he was blind, the point being that still would’ve been wrong but that everything he’d resorted to was unnecessary and Wylan shouldn’t feel like it was his fault. So this would be an au where Van Eck did exactly that and Wesper attend Ketterdam university together; Wylan grapples with his father being the worst and falling for Jesper as he fears telling him the truth, Jesper grapples with addiction and wanting to stay at university partly for the sake of falling for Wylan.

Jesper leaned in, pushing one of Wylan’s curls back off his face.

“It’s pity you can’t see how beautiful your eyes are,”

Wylan blushed, letting Jesper run his hand over his cheek and tilt his face up towards his own. Jesper leaned forward but then Wylan squirmed, just slightly, and Jesper tensed as he pulled his hand away.

“And me, of course,” he added, letting his voice take on a teasing lilt to brush past the moment, “It’s a shame you don’t know how gorgeous I am,”

Wylan almost smiled, but he had stepped away.

“I- erm,” he brushed his fingers through the lock of hair Jesper had moved and cleared his throat, “Excuse me,”

And then he was gone.

[exyzedd]

cannot stop making textposts😔👍🏼

(pics used aren't mine)

[purpleyin]

just like the sea

Another not!fic style ficlet, Kaz-centric with Kanej. Kaz & his complicated relationship with the sea and the harbor.

-

The first few years after he was reborn, Kaz avoided the harbour entirely. Even the streets closest to it smelled uncomfortably strongly of the sea air–of salt that he can almost taste in his mouth, prompting the urge to gag at the memory of the sea water–setting him on edge. He passed over the easy pickings to be had from the bustling close-knit crowds of travellers and tourists swarming off the boats at busy times. He could only watch with interest when occasionally one of the other barrel rats risked the lottery of 'lost' luggage, deciding to audaciously pilfer a whole suitcase for the excitement of unknown prizes inside.

But Kaz couldn't avoid it forever. Business was to be had at the harbour and he couldn't bow out of that now he had errands to be run, messages to pass on. He had to be reliable if he intended to prove himself and work his way up a gang, willing to do anything, even that. Even if that was nothing to absolutely anyone else–especially because that was nothing to anyone else. If business took him to the harbour he simply had to go. Using the canal boats in the city, being so close to the water, had made him unreasonably nervous too, at first, but he'd overcome that with careful practice, and he would overcome the memory of the harbour as well. He was nothing if not determined. To go to the harbour was to go to battle, the same as any scrap in an alley, he told himself – it was all simply a fight for survival in the barrel. And he would win, because he had to; there was no room for failure in his plans.

The harbour did not defeat him, but neither was it easy to endure. Over time, he had more memories made there – a mix of the mundane shipping dealings, the thrill of opportunistic thievery to be had while there, and that of occasional violence for enforcement reasons. The new memories slowly started to dilute the bad one that still lapped at his feet with each step closer to the waters. It got easier, but it would never be somewhere Kaz sought out. Always a chore, but at least now not too bad a risk, not something that threatened to expose his weakness each time.

Something changed when he held Inej in his arms at the docks, racing to get her to the Ferolind in time for Nina to save her. No longer was the harbour just Jordie's domain like it once had been, nor Kaz's reluctant place of business that he'd rebuilt it into in his psyche. Though a thoroughly unpleasant memory, Inej's blood spilled there in the name of protecting his Crows–protecting him–had somehow sealed Inej's place in his mind as associated with the docks too. The docks had brought her to the city, to him inadvertently, but fate, if it existed, was fickle and those same docks had nearly taken her from him. Almost but not quite; they continued to defy chance as certainly as Inej routinely appeared to defy gravity. It felt fitting somehow when the docks take her away again on the ship he had bought her. The difference is now the docks bring her back to him; her ship's berth a strange piece of home there, giving peace to them both, he hopes, for once.

Kaz still doesn't like to smell the saltiness of the sea breeze, but standing on the docks for Inej, it takes on another meaning these days, a scent tinged with hope. Sometimes Inej surprises him with a brief visit, just long enough to resupply and unload those they've saved who are keen to get going on their way home. As he and Inej get more comfortable with each other, she tends to avail herself of his comparatively luxurious bathroom after such a long time at sea. Coming directly to his rooms, washing the saltiness away with the selection of bath oils he keeps in there only for her use (except the rare night he uses them to feel closer to her).

Once though, Inej did not wash herself off before coming to his bed, and the smell of the sea caught up on her hair lingered on his pillow for days after she'd left. He still didn't like to smell the saltiness of the sea breeze itself, but with it mixed up with the unadulterated smell of her, and his fresher memories of the docks, it took on new meaning. When he closed his eyes and smelt that complicated scent it was easier to think of her there, or of standing on the docks with hope in his heart for her return.

The next time she returns only promised to him for a day, he lures her into his bed before she can wash the saltiness off herself, eager to replicate that happy accident. And Kaz keeps up that habit despite not initially meaning to, making excuses as to why she should come right to his bed. After a while, Inej notices his new habit and asks him why he keeps doing so, but he can't find the true words to explain, covering it up with a slightly different but no less intense, deliberately indirect, appeal to his having missed her, of not wanting to waste any time. If she knows he's leaving something out she doesn't call him on it, she accepts his put upon charm that disguises the more vulnerable reason he wants her there–his craving for something lasting of her to stick around in her absence.

Maybe one day he'll find the words to confess his secret desire, to share as much with Inej as she deserves from him, but for the time being action alone is easier. In compensation, he gives away a wide, entirely unsuppressed, smile at the triumph of his bare hand in hers tentatively pulling her to him.

[jccatstudios]

late night doodle: "Dirk" and Jesper from the fic "A World Alone" by @19burstraat