#some day it’ll happen
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eye shape practice or something
#I want to be able to draw faces#like distinct faces#some day it’ll happen#I think secondo turned out okay??#the band ghost#the band ghost fanart#ghost fanart
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i’m so happy y’all like my writing ngl 🥺 for a long, long time i wanted to be an author and part of what made me okay w gaining this weight was knowing that even if i get too fat for many things. i won’t be too fat to write :3
but fr i wanted to write a horror/fantasy novel. paleontology and body horror. i still dream of this but im BUSY and writing is hard when u have to write academically constantly
#it’ll happen one day god bless#and just so y’all know. even tho i graduated and am taking a gap year#i am still deep in the throes of academia#aka preparing a manuscript for publication and this bitch is LONG#i will provide no details on that for safety#but jsyk if you wanna read more like what i posted last night#everything i’ve written + some asks are under the tag ‘writing’#talk
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merry christmas @burntwaffle12‼️‼️ this beast is just for you for the @mlsecretsanta gift exchange<3<3
you can read the first chapter of your gift here
happy holidays and i will be back so soon with more<3<3
#ml#miraculous ladybug#ml fic#miraculous ladybug fic#adrien agreste#adrinette#UH. HI NICE TO MEET YOU IM AN INSANE PERSON . PLEASE BEAR WITH ME WHILE I FINISH YOUR GIFT THROUGH NEXT YEAR<3#i really wanted to try and finish it before the posting period ended (hence me posting on the literal last day) but of course that did not#happen! because more time thinking about the story meant i was thinking more about the plot which means there is one which means#for some reason i can’t write a scene shorter than five pages for it. so you know#ive got a good portion of the next chapter/scene written and i expect for their to be five in total#IT’LL BE SO FINE. IT’LL BE SO GOOD. LOOK ME INNMY EYES. TRUST ME. I LOVE YOU. WE’LL GET THROUGH IT TOGETHER#and with that i’ll likely be radio silent until next year (haha) ! love y’all lots i hope to be even more insane and online next year<3
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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The siblings ever
+some doodles bc it’s pride month
#omg i actually drew something#im starting a German program tomorrow that I’m either at or traveling to from 5:30 am to 6pm every day for the rest of the summer#so don’t expect it to happen again any time soon#but I’ll go into junior year of hs w 14 college credits so it’ll be worth it in the end#hetalia#hetalia fanart#aph netherlands#hws netherlands#aph belgium#hws belgium#or maybe I’ll be inspired from talking abt Germany all day everyday and I’ll post smth#who knows#also the first two are referring to that Barbie movie promo btw#that movie looks like an absolute banger I can’t wait to see it#i didnt put not a ship in here when I posted this for some reason but#NOT A SHIP#my art
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One of my favorites
Panel 1
Wafers: You’re one of my favorites
Panel 2
Fawful: Is this meaning Fawful has treatment like that of a beloved king deserving luxury? Right?
Panel 3
Wafers: …
Panel 4
Fawful: R-right?
#Aka what happens to my favorite characters#I like to put them through much trauma#Since I like exploring pain and how they deal with the pain#For as much fic and senarios I put Fawful in I need to make some comfort fic and senarios#Where he at least gets some comfort#Should I write smut where Fawful gets comfort? Should I keep it wholesome and pg?That’ll be a later question when I’m not busy with school#Same goes for my other characters like Vennie and Toadmida#Who would I even pair Fawful with? I’ll age him up quite a lot since that would be the right thing to do. make him 21 and older#I can feel my mutuals getting concerned with each scenario I put Fawful in lol#I’ll be nice to Fawful one of these days#It’ll be nice and challenging to write Fawful not being in pain but just relaxing or getting comforted and cared for
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2024 affirmation: I will not dislocate my knee
#genuinely will be my thirteenth reason if this happens again and i’m not joking#i don’t think most of the people in my life get it. they don’t get what it’s like for every single step you take to cause you pain#for MONTHS on end. this started in MAY#and they don’t get what it’s like to have pain when you’re just standing up. or to worry that your knee is randomly going to give out on you#and that that’s going to be it this time and you’re going to need a knee replacement#OR; maybe worse; that your Other knee which has never given you a single problem will suddenly decide to give out (maybe due to all the#strain that’s been on it) and you’ll have to walk like a crab until that one heals#or to wonder if you’re just malingering and being too lazy. meanwhile doing all the exercises that your physio recommends you#+ taking a pilates class + buying a walking pad and trying to walk on it 5 days a week#+ going on a diet; cutting down on salt and overly processed food in the hope it’ll give you more energy#so you can exercise more and drop some excess weight so there’s maybe less strain on your knees and ankles#(or at the very least build muscle rather than fat so that the muscles are just better)#not to mention that nobody knows what the fuck is wrong with me. x-ray came back clear apart from ‘fluid on the knee’#which by the way - has never actually gone away? that x-ray happened on the 5th of july. i’d been injured for 6 weeks already by then#i still get this godawful like.. almost Bubble of fluid on the top right of my kneecap whenever i’ve been walking a lot#coming up on five months and i still have swelling. why. i’ve iced it into fucking oblivion#my doctor thought i had a hamstring tear. nope. my physio can’t find anything structurally wrong with me#we fixed the quad lag and my complete lack of ability to straighten the leg#but i still have pain and i still have discomfort and i still limp and i still feel like my kneecap is floating in a fucking soup#at this point i wonder if i have arthritis and nobody has noticed. the knee is crunchy. 🥴#all of it just makes me feel like i’m going insane. i fell and i was like ‘oh i’ll be fine in two weeks’#two weeks later i couldn’t even walk unassisted. like.#what did i doooooooo. why does no one seem to know. why does nothing show up on tests. idgi#personal#rant
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exams really just go on forever and ever and ever and ever
#sorry about this one but it’s just hit me that i’m literally not getting a break cause of the german listening#3 days between them i guess and then that’s it we’re back with 6-7 hour school days#how the hell do they think this is sustainable we just don’t get to stop ever#what’s the line like. it keeps happening it fucking keeps happening and i just want to lie down without needing to be doing something else#hghhhgvhnbgghhbghnbghvvbvav#the biggest break it’s possible to get is one school week. 5 days without exams or revision sessions jesus christ what are they doing#and i know i know it’s not their fault and that ultimately it’s an inherent flaw within the way exams work#and that actually they probably don’t want this either. but could they at least say that to us at some point#if they just went hey this sucks but this is what you’ve gotta do and offered a shred of sympathy rather than just shitty#seemingly non genuine positivity i would feel so much better#ok. ok i’m more normal having said all those words probably still gonna post this but then like delete it later or something#i’ll be fine i’m just so tired and will apparently be so tired for the foreseeable fr#but then there’s the future beyond what’s foreseeable and it’ll all get better then. it’ll be fine#ezra’s real life rambles
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spending the day working on a fic in the backyard is something i highly recommend :]
#(not pictured: the melting ice cube wrapped in a paper towel attached to my arm with a rubber band so i can keep my hands free for typing)#(random tiny bug the size of a fruit fly bit me and it itches) (i don't know what it was) (it will remain a mystery)#y’all probably won’t get to see this fic for a long time but it’ll happen one day :3#i wrote the full draft last summer but i’ve been going back to it every few months and changing some things#it should be done soon hopefully#fervently hoping writer's block is over! it better be!#my words#my photos#molly#personal#mcga#sort of#it's me and my army of silly little organizational tags against the world
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So how’s your shirt today bubble buddy? @doe-eyed-des
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charity shop haul. no one talk to me
#i’ve been looking for a copy of dracula and i’ve been intent on getting it from an in person charity or second hand book store for some#reason and on my last day of lectures i find it#it’ll prob be one of the last times i go to these charity shops#i feel. like somethings happening#personal
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man the dailyteamrancher blog was kinda fun i should do something like that again
#.txt#maybe weekly instead of daily though#or every two days#i don’t think i’m bringing that blog back i got too burnt out on it orz#and my ranchers brainrot has subsided somewhat#still love them so very much the Hyperfixation part is just gone#regular amount of interest now#it happens. shrug#i could just do daily jimmy#is there already a daily jimmy blog?#there 100% is why am i even asking#or maybe not even themed just. daily mcyt doodles#just draw whichever guy i want once a day#… it’ll probably end up being jimmy anyway#my alternative idea here is to finally try and put together some sort of rp blog#i’ve always liked the idea of having one of those but every time i’ve tried it’s kinda fallen apart
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Survived another day of severe SI 💪 #unkillable
#cliche to say but g-d will have to try harder than this to kill me#I feel more sensible again now#the problem is I lose the ability to think rationally when it happens; it’s like a dark cloud overtaking me#I should’ve probably gone to the hospital but then again that’d probably make me feel worse#good to be out of it either way! I’m glad I’m fine#nothing is better and everything is still terrible and stressful but I’m not gonna kill myself about it#everything will sort itself out and even if I flunk out it’ll be fine eventually#all day I was thinking what was even the point of surviving all the times I’ve wanted to kill myself since the age of 14#if all it got me was PTSD three times over and every time I think I’m through it something else traumatising happens#but we’ll see. I’m pleased to be alive right now and I’m sure I’ll be displeased and then pleased again in the future#this post doesn’t really have a message it’s just me marvelling at how I never seem to actually kill myself#like some kind of cockroach.#anne speaks#suicide tw#thanks frank iero for the phrase of all time
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List of things I try every chance I get and still don’t like them:
1. Hummus
2. Alcohol
#I really really want to like hummus#it looks so tasty#but for some god damn reason my taste buds loath it:(#I’m hoping one day something will happen and I’ll like it#still waiting for that to happen#alcohol is a different story#I basically just try it to appease whoever I’m around#no matter what’s done to the alcohol I can still basically only taste that#I’ll get the flavoring on the first sip and be okay#but then every other swig I take it’s just straight alcohol with a teeny tiny hint of flavor in the aftertaste#awful experience#I’ve barely been tipsy before just because I can’t stand to drink barely any#makes me feel shitty too#like sure I’ll ‘try’ it and I’ll pretend it’s fine#but I really hate it#lord am I trying with these but I know it’ll just never work out:(#does the alcohol thing happen with anyone else? have never met another soul with this problem#talkin talkin
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May this year bring us an abundance of fulfillment, achieved desires and comfort. 🖤
#dadbots.txt#officially in 2024… hard to believe that tbh. But it’s here. And hope for better things to come our way.#I plan on committing myself to some planned goals and ideas to work on. Including devoting myself into my craft again -#- and explore other fields as it is a big part of my life. With so much happening and being overwhelmed caused the focus to shift.#And I truly want to put my attention onto things that helped me. Made me happy. That’s important to me overall.#This year will be aimed towards completions. Anything that’s been held off and sitting in a backlog. That I should’ve and wished to do.#Things I need to do. Whatever — I want to complete them and knock ‘em off my list. There’s so much to go through and it’s tiring -#- when you see piles that you swept under the rug. But that’s why I’m working on completing them and have a clean slate to work on again.#Won’t break chronic procrastination. But it’ll get me doing something. Little by little.#And will reduce the blow for my fatigue. In general for anything really. And this definitely isn’t some ‘new year new me’ mantra that ends#- in a couple of days. A whole year dedicated to what’s important is good enough for me. Of course you can start whenever and at any time.#But I consider this a journey. Means I have to show something for the month. And with so many changes made in 2023 — it’s possible. :)#I hope y’all have a wonderful year and have blessings flowing our way. 🤞🏽🖤
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Literally nothing even HAPPENED I just had a weird conversation with Sap this morning and my back is goddamn killing me and I’m by myself in this fucking train car with no one to fucking call
#I wouldn’t call Sap anyways stuff’s too weird. Maybe it’s not but I feel like it is#They keep asking me what’s been up with Karl and I keep telling them to not worry about it#Because seriously if Karl wants to talk about it wish him she’ll bring it up.#And Sap and I were up this morning and he mentioned it again and I must’ve sounded pissy when I told him to just drop it#because he got pretty upset.#Like he was being kind of mean so I got kind of mean and so he got mad and it’s not like he’s scary when he’s mad#but I must I’ve looked some sort of way because all of a sudden they got all ‘sorry baby are you ok’ and I don’t WANT them being like that#when I was being just as much of a dick#So I kind of just ended the conversation and left for LN… And I don’t wanna talk about it LOL#Some of the stuff Sap said was pretty… ouch. Like he said something like#‘you two have to tell me stuff because when you don’t you disappear for ages and Karl goes crazy’ and was like ‘quit being proud’#And I don’t even know how it happened but fucking Dream came up of all things and they were like#‘killing someone is better than making their life hell’ and it was so fucking POINTED like he says it’s chill all the time#but it’s clearly fucking not. And it’s gonna be so awkward for the next couple of days 😭😭😭#Whatever. It’ll pass and we’ll be fine until it happens again#And it’ll pass again#Just. FUCK !!!#me
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