#some of the videos people got were not even good

[preciouslittlebhaalbabe3]

Man we really need patch 7 because y'all are BORED.

Tell me why I just got a wall of text saying I'm romanticising abuse when I say "it's nobodies business how you choose to play a single player game and which paths you take"

You don't know who you're talking to.

I never see people this absolutely batshit crazy about god Gale. Or dark Shadowheart. When are we gonna stop mudslinging at each other over this vampire man? This goes both ways. I don't care what you do. Just the same as you shouldn't care how other people enjoy a video game. It's fiction. They bought it they can do whatever the fuck they want.

But any time people mention anything besides spawn Astarion people freak out. Does it really matter that much how other people choose to play a video game?

This game has multiple narratives. Multiple ways to interpret things. Everything is based on you and your choice. There is no solid way that this shit goes that's the whole fucking point. It's ROLEPLAY. Every companion has different endings for the story you want to tell. Some good, some bad, some neutral. It's not just Astarion.

If you had a bad experience with ascended Astarion and you don't feel good about it, don't ascend him. He's not for you. Simple as!

As someone who has played both narratives and prefers spawn ending, I say, who fucking cares? When I see people posting A!A content I don't lose my shit and feel the need to insult people's intelligence. *edit* the picture showing lines is to demonstrate how there are multiple narratives based on the roleplay even in the ascended ending. There are multiple directions in the spawn ending too. I am not saying any ending is better or worse than the other. That's not up to me and frankly I don't care. I am simply saying the game can go multiple directions and people should feel free to explore them. That's why they were written.

[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out Masterpost for new fans

New fan of Joker Out? Say no more! 

Getting to know a new artist you’ve found can be intimidating if it’s all in another language, so we’ve compiled some of our favourite interviews, articles and lore here! You’ve arrived in a wonderful fanbase, welcome from all of us here at JokerOutSubs! 

If you’d just like a short overview of the band and their history, you can watch this excellent Finnish summary of them that we’ve translated (14m 53s).

But if you want to dive into the details, then check out our timeline, full of videos and articles translated by JokerOutSubs! 

Timeline graphic:

Timeline in details below the cut 👇

Timeline in details: 

How did the band form? 

Joker Out was formed from two bands, Apokalipsa and Buržuazija. 

Apokalipsa included Bojan Cvjetićanin (vocals), Martin Jurkovič (bass) and Matic Kovačič (drums) 

They gained some traction with young people around Slovenia, particularly with their song 'Mogoče' ('Maybe'), which you can watch on YouTube here.

They came to the attention of Kris Guštin, who was inspired to start learning guitar! He discusses the details in this video (at 9:40). 

Kris then met Jan Peteh, another student of his guitar teacher, and at their teachers advice, they formed the band Buržuazija. 

Bojan attended their second ever gig in 2016, and decided these two excellent guitarists were exactly what had been missing from Apokalipsa, as he wasn’t happy with their current guitarists. He asked them to join, and they accepted

The new lineup (Bojan, Jan, Kris, Martin and Matic) decided to rename themselves Joker Out. The name means nothing, but they thought it sounded good and was the ‘least horrible’ of all the ideas they could think of. 

So, in 2016, Joker Out was officially formed! 

November 2016, Kot srce ki kri poganja: 

Joker Out’s first music video was for their song ‘Kot srce ki kri poganja’ ('Like a heart that pumps blood'), filmed in Jan’s hometown of Vrhnika! We eventually got this song on Spotify on their 2023 album Live from Arena Stožice!

Music video: Kot srce ki kri poganja

English Interview (from 3:37 to 6:05): Joker Out discusses filming the music video

June 2017, Špil Liga:

One of the earliest performances for Joker Out was at Špil Liga, a competition for young bands in Slovenia. They won, and recorded their winning song, Omamljeno telo (intoxicated body) in November as part of the prize. 

Live (33m): Joker Out at Špil liga

Interview (5m): Reflections on Špil Liga in 2023 

c.2017/18, Bojan’s attempt at going solo:

The band took a hiatus c.2017/18, and Bojan considered going solo at that time, even working with a few producers. He eventually realised that he belonged with the band! Hear him tell the story:

Reel (1m 23s): A1 Vajb - Bojan’s fail

2019, A change up for the band:

The band began working with their current producer, Žare Pak, and their videographer Mark Pirc, in 2019 - both of whom have been referred to as the sixth member of the band. This led to a change in their sound and production quality, which culminated in ‘Gola’ ('Naked'), the first of their songs to be a big hit!

Music video: Gola

Zlata piščal ('Golden Flute') - Best New Artist 2019:

Joker Out won their first Zlata piščal award in 2019, for best new artist (one of many they’d go on to win!) This is a kind of Slovenian Grammy! Covid interrupted the proceedings, but you can see their interview for it here (3m 59s)- 

Interview: Joker Out wins a Zlata piščal ('Golden Flute') for Best New Artist 2019

Umazane misli, and a new member: 

During the Covid times, the band began recording their first studio album, 'Umazane misli' ('Dirty thoughts'), which was originally going to be released in March 2020 but was repeatedly delayed until October 2021. The first half was recorded with drummer Matic Kovačič, but the band felt they needed something extra and brought in Jure Maček to help write the arrangements. They loved him so much, he never left! 

Interview (from 10:40 to 11:36): Bojan talks briefly about Jure joining the band

COVID times, and Cvetličarna: 

The band had arranged to do two concerts at Cvetličarna, a very important venue in Slovenia and a big break for them. This was delayed several times due to Covid, but eventually managed to go ahead in October 2021 for the release of their first album. 

Video (1m 14s): Cvetličarna promotional video

Live (1h 28m): Joker Out at Cvetličarna

Interview (34m 55s): Bojan discusses Cvetličarna, its importance, and Covid

Umazane misli album launch: 

'Umazane misli' was extremely well received! The band would go on to win two more Zlata piščal awards, Newcomers of the Year in 2020 and Artist of the Year in 2021.

Interview (37m 08s): Umazane misli album presentation

An acting career for Bojan? 

Around the same time as 'Umazane misli' was released, Bojan began considering an acting career. He acted in two episodes of the series ‘Gospod Professor’ and in another series, which was eventually reworked as a film called ‘Kaj pa Ester’ and released in December 2023. He decided music was his passion though, and he wanted to fully focus on that. 

Interview (from 10:04 to 11:30): Bojan discusses his acting career

Interview (2m 11s): Kaj pa Ester interview

Interview (2m 30s): Kaj pa Ester première

Article: Bojan on Kaj pa Ester

September 2022, Križanke:

The band got straight to work writing their second album, 'Demoni' ('Demons'), and decided to present it in September 2022 at Križanke, another hugely important venue in Slovenia. This whole concert wasn’t recorded, but we have an interesting advertisement they did for it, an interview and a clip of one song live from Križanke! 

Video (5m 4s): Full Joker Out Hotline trailers

Interview (2m 16s): Joker Out with parachutes to Križanke?

Live (4m 7s): 'Novi val' ('New wave') live at Križanke

Another new member! 

After Križanke at the end of 2022, Martin Jurkovič, one of the founding members of the band, made the decision to leave to focus on his studies.

Video (2m 20s): Martin's departure

Thankfully, he was replaced by the wonderful Nace Jordan, who remains the bassist in the current lineup.

Article: Nace Jordan discusses joining the band

2023, Eurovision:

Joker Out were then internally selected to go to Eurovision 2023, and began recording their Eurovision song, 'Carpe Diem', in Hamburg in December 2022. To learn more, you can watch the Carpe Diem series, a documentary series which followed their entire journey. 

The first episode, recording Carpe Diem, can be found with subtitles in multiple languages by JokerOutSubs!

Video (16m 41s): Carpe Diem Ep. 1 - Hamburg

The band performed their song for the first time live on Misija Liverpool, a televised debut, on the 4th February 2023.

Video (27m): Joker Out performing at Misija Liverpool

There are quite literally hundreds of interviews with Joker Out during the Eurovision era. Here's one from just before the final, that we have translated.

Interview: Joker Out before the final on the 13th May

And a few English interviews that became famous in the fanbase! 

Interview (24m 29s): Eurovanja

Interview (8m 10s): Seize the Day situations

Interview (17m 18s): Tiktok Live

Interview (6m 30s): ‘Never have I ever’

Interview (14m 12s): Madrid Eurovision

Result

Joker Out came 21st at Eurovision, which they were satisfied with.

Interview (1m 36s): Bojan talks about their results

European tour and Sunny Side of London (22nd September)

Luckily, the best was still to come for Joker Out! The rest of 2023 was spent on an extremely successful European tour, and they also released their first English single, 'Sunny Side of London', in September. 

We at JokerOutSubs were also thrilled to interview the band twice on their tour!

Original Interview (15m 25s): JokerOutSubs interview in Tampere

Original Interview (14m 37s): JokerOutSubs interview in Poznań

6th of October 2023, Stožice:

All of this, however, was building up to Stožice. This is the biggest closed venue in Slovenia and Joker Out managed to sell out their October show there - an extremely important milestone for Slovenian artists. 

Interview (15m 4s): Stožice and their whirlwind post Eurovision career

Live: Full concert live-streamed part 1 and part 2

A lovely moment at Stožice was when former members Martin Jurkovič and Matic Kovačič joined the band onstage to perform 'Kot srce ki kri poganja'!

Interview (2m 4s): Martin and Matic discuss the experience

Interview (5m 9s): Joker Out post Stožice impressions

London era and Everybody’s Waiting: 

Joker Out spent the beginning of 2024 in London, where they wrote new music, did live cooking shows on Instagram and met the incredibly talented photographer, Damon Baker, who did a beautiful series of photoshoots with them. They also released their next English single, 'Everybody’s Waiting', in February. 

They sat down with us at JokerOutSubs to discuss all this on the 20th February!

Original Interview (59m 13s): JokerOutSubs interview in London

March and April 2024, ‘See you soon’ tour:

The boys then embarked on the ‘See you Soon’ tour, another very successful European tour. They played three new songs live during the tour, two of which we translated from the concert videos of our members!

Live:  First performance of 'Bluza' ('Blouse')

Live: First performance of the hugely popular 'Šta bih ja' ('What would I')

We at JokerOutSubs also interviewed the band a fourth time in Padova!

Original Interview (22m 7s): JokerOutSubs interview in Padova

Now you know a little bit about Joker Out’s history, let’s look a little bit at the members of the band as individuals! 

Who are the members?

Bojan Cvjetićanin - singer

Charming, charismatic and an all round green flag, deep down we’re all Bojan girlies! See him here on Cosmopolitan's Blind date, Portrait with Coffee and a lovely interview he did for Delo! 

Interview (8m 49s): Cosmopolitan's Blind date

Interview (18m 3s): Portrait with Coffee

Article: “If we believed that we were “kings”, that wouldn’t be us”

Jan Peteh - guitarist

The mysterious mathematician of the band, Jan and his cat Igor have stolen the hearts of the fanbase. Here he is on Undercover Mathematician and on Metropolitan podcast with ex bassist Martin! 

Interview (3m 26s): Undercover mathematician

Interview (43m 57s): Jan and Martin on Metropolitan podcast

Kris Guštin - guitarist

Known for his organisational expertise, 'slay pose' and 'cake baking skills,' Kris stays fabulous on and off stage!

Video (1m 5s): NGVOT backstory (Kris’ breakup) at Cvetličarna

Article: Interview with the entire Guštin family

Jure Maček - drummer

Described consistently by his band mates as ‘čaga’ (party), Jure brings a chaotic energy to Joker Out that we love to see!

Video (41s): Jure’s cheating (in school!) story

Interview (18m 3s): Sunday Chat on Radio 94

Nace Jordan - bassist

The oldest member of Joker Out, Nace is a genuine sweetheart who fit like a glove into Joker Out despite joining much later! 

Article: "Enriched by a special [Eurovision] experience"

Get to know the whole band! 

They mostly do interviews together, so here are some of our favourites!

Interview (16m 52s): Vičstock Unplugged

Video (7m 3s): Joker Out pre-Križanke Instagram Q&A compilation

Interview (54m 42s): Multisciplinary panel at Bežigrad High School

Article: Joker Out for DELO

Article: Joker Out for Mladina magazine

Interview (6m 42s): Joker Out for RTV SLO

Interview (1h 1m): Joker Out for N1 podkast

We hope you’ve enjoyed learning a bit more about our favourite band! 

If you’d like even MORE translated interviews, articles and Instagram stories, you can find us on Tumblr, X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and Spotify under the name JokerOutSubs!

P.S: If you wish to share this post with new fans, we also provided QR codes!

[poppy-metal]

hear me out... what if we combine some of the thoughts? stepbro! patrick who finds out that you've been posting videos of yourself online. every night going to some porn site to jerk himself out. using the videos to imagine different things to do to you until he finds an account that really scratches that itch inside of him. she looks like you. this solo pornstar he's found and he finds himself stalking each video you post. leaving a multitude of comments and feeling a rush of adrenaline when you respond to them. but then he starts to notice something - your walls look familiar. the posters you have on them, the paint color, and in fact so does what you're wearing. he realizes that the girl in the videos doesn't just look like you. she is you. immediately he's full of different thoughts and ideas. after he finally comes down from the realization (and also drains his balls to the copious amount of content he has for you) he makes a plan. 

he comes into your room one night, stifling through your stuff as you protest it. when he finds the camera hidden in your closet he turns around with that classic patrick smirk. "you planning on becoming a star?" he asks softly. you look at him confused but also concerned knowing nothing good happens when patrick gets that look. "a pornstar, i mean," he says with a grin. you can't even protest before he's shaking his head. coming closer and closer to you. "i know about your account. found it weeks ago. don't worry, i'm not gonna tell. didn't realize it was you at first but then i recognized the room. you know, that's the bad thing about not showing your pretty face. anyone could see it and fuck themselves to the videos. know i did."

he gets almost a sick satisfaction while telling you. watching the color drain out of your face. the way your breathing picks up. the look on your face as your mind can't decide if you're disgusted or turned on by his confession. he tells you that he wants to help you. so much so that he wants to star in your videos too. you'll get really popular then if your audience can watch you get your brains fucked out by some guy. he expects you to need a minute but you say yes almost immediately. your mouth dry from the anticipation and it's that night that you both film your first video. camera pointed down at you with your face barely out of camera while patrick fucks you from the back. hands gripping your hips rough enough to make bruises while he splits open your pussy and you babble out. its easy to pick out the titles when patrick runs his mouth the whole video - "mmm, yes, such a fucking slut wanna show the whole world how you take your stepbrothers cock? can't even keep it a secret." 

it only takes a month of uploading videos together for a company to reach out with an offer to provide better cameras and a paycheck. 

-☕

despite what you post youre a good girl, really. you were kind and sweet and got good grades all throughout school. you tried to make nice with your stepbrother even though he got under your skin all the fucking time, like that time he threw a party when your parents were out but wouldn't let you dance with robby dickenson. like, what the fuck? "he just wants you to suck his cock because his girlfriend wont".

"maybe im fine with that."

"im not."

and that was that. he always got his way. thats when it started, you're pretty sure. a sorta fuck you to patrick, and also a way to rebel in a way. your first video had been you deepthroating a didldo you'd bought. you didnt know what it would become, just that you loved every second of it. the camera filming you, the lewd act of filling your mouth for a bunch of people to fuck themselbes too. it felt wanton and dirty. it was empowering.

so your fear of patrick finding out wasn't that he'd found out, per say. you were more afraid of him taking this from you. you weren't shocked by his admission, but you were by how much it turned you on. you'd sunken alot further into the pits of depravity than you'd thought. good girls didnt fuck their stepbrothers. good girls didnt get dry in the mouth at the sight of his thick cock bobbing free. good girls didnt pull up their shirts because he'd asked them to, straddling your chest with the camera angled at your chest. "pull your tits out, show big brother those hot little nipples."

and you do, you show him, you show everyone who will be watching and you do it eagerly. you should snap at him not to call himself your big brother, but in reality the acknowledgement of what he was, of how bad you were being just made you all the more wet.

"you're not a good girl at all, are you," he asks, zooming in on the peaks of your nipples. reaches down to roughly palm one of the bouncy little tits in his hand. "always so tight lipped and quiet. you know my friend, art? he just thinks you're shy. wonder what he'd think if he knew you were shoving things up your pussy for old pervs onine to rub off to."

hes one of those pervs. but you dont say that. instead you push your chest out, bite your lip and look up at him with wide pleading eyes."no im good, big brother, i promise."

he spits out a quiet fuck under his breath. you cant stop eyeing the thick length of him between his thighs, dripping and hard and you want your mouth around him you dont care how wrong it is, you want him filling your throat and yanking your hair and calling you all sorts of names.

he makes you prove it. the camera doesnt spend long at all in his hand, eventually tossed shakily on your bed and you have to reach for it yourself, pull it close to your face as you're oushed and pulled and groped like a ragdoll, on your stomach as patrick palms at your ass.

"wanted to fuck you for so long."

"then do it."

there's alot of talk in the comments of the video when its posted, talk about the stepsibling talk being a nice little touch, some want to know if the man has an account of his own, videos of himself. they like the way he fucks you. hard and demeaning, slapping his hips off your ass with the force of his pounding cock in your cunt. they like the way he talks to you, "tight little fucking cunt,gonna fill it everyday. when i come home sweaty from practice you're gonna be a good little sister and spread your legs for me, let me at that pussy. gonna sneak in here every night, fuck you full of cum even if you're sleeping."

instant hit.

[phoenixyfriend]

HI DO YOU WANT SOME COSTUBE DRAMA THAT TURNED KINDA WHOLESOME

Pt 1: The Drama

Okay so a long-ass time ago (I think like 15 years), a British costume historian on youtube by the name of Cathy Hay decided she was going to remake 'the peacock Worth gown' and started a kickstarter for it. She made a bunch of money, but the actual work ended up being much more than she expected, so the project kept getting delayed.

In the years after, she befriended the now much more famous Bernadette Banner. They got close enough for cross-Atlantic trips to visit, etc. They were best friends and often joked that they were the same person.

Drama started riling up as people criticized Hay for not engaging meaningfully with the problematic history of the gown in question, which had been made for the wife of a British Governor of India during the 19th century, for a party celebrating British imperialism in India, and the gown's shining feature was Indian embroidery which was almost certainly underpaid, and that embroidery was the massively time-consuming bit that had been delaying her this whole time.

It was a whole thing that she sort of? Tried to address? buuuut The thing is, one of the seemingly obvious ways to manage this conflict would be to coordinate with an Indian embroiderer. In fact, a very accomplished specialist did reach out to her about collaborating on this! And she ghosted him! Maybe even blocked, I don't remember, but the thing was that he was ready and willing to do this cool project that could explore and reimagine a beautiful but morally ugly example of their shared countries' histories.

And she just… kept refusing to engage.

And then people started pointing out the weirdly predatory marketing she had for an online product/newsletter she had, and the discourse kept building as people realized overall that she was just… not as good a person as she claimed to be.

It got bad enough that Banner broke off the friendship, in large part because of that refusal to engage meaningfully with the loaded history of the Worth gown project

Pt 2: The Wholesome

So, a few days ago, Bernadette Banner released a video of her making a Regency gown. It's a very standard kind of project for her, just using old patterns and adding a touch of her own gothic tastes with historical methods to make a cool piece of clothing that explores costume history.

Halfway through, she has a call with someone she is planning to do a different video with. We don't know what the video is, but!

The thing is

The person she is having this call with

Is the Indian embroiderer, Mayankraj Singh, that Cath Hay ghosted.

And the video continues on with Banner and Singh talking about her Regency gown project and just. He ends up making an embroidered chiffon overgown with a crow motif. And it just feels very wholesome and I love to see this all coming back around.

(Okay, double-checked and apparently Hay requested a sample from Singh, and then ghosted him after she got photos of it)

In late September, another costumer, Miah Grace, released a video noting that, in 2020, Hay had requested an embroidery sample from with Mayankraj Singh, founder of the luxury fashion brand Atelier Shikaarbagh. Indian embroiderers in this shop possess skills that go back seven generations. Singh reportedly made a sample made but only sent Hay photos of it. After Hay stopped responding for many months, Singh went live on Instagram to explain what happened. Apparently, when his head embroiderer found the sample, he burned it, and scolded Singh for making it. “He said it was an inauspicious design,” Singh said, “and we do not make it anymore.” Hay later apologized to Singh, and he now considers the matter settled. - Craftsmanship Magazine

Anyway, yeah, after all of that from a few years ago, it was kind of exciting to see Banner collaborating with Singh

And she's so excited to open the package! Happy screaming!

It's so sweet.

He had his team embroider their names on the hem And she loves it

I am living for this vicarious excitement

(She does lay it on a bit thick at the end, but you know what. I'll take it.)

OH and the ending involves her attending the ball with Nami Sparrow, one of the creators of Indian background (Indian-American) that was a voice of Expertise criticizing Cathy Hay a few years ago.

Which is like. Tacit endorsement? If Singh alone wasn't enough.

Anyway yeah I lost my mind a little about this.

[getlostsquidward]

a shot in the darkest dark

pairing: emily prentiss x reader; emily prentiss x andrew mendoza

a/n: pls excuse the rusty writing. it's been almost 2 years since I've written something andddd this is my first time writing for emily teehee :D

warnings: angst, hurt/(a bit of) comfort, canon-typical violence (plot is set between events of 14x15 to 15x2 with some plot changes for self-indulgent purposes), gun violence, gunshot wounds, blood and injury

summary: to save the lives at stake in the hands of an unsub, you dared yourself to reveal your deepest, darkest truth.

Everyone is tensed as the unsub, Casey Pinkner, is forcing Melissa to kill the store manager, eager to prove that she’s just as capable of hurting other people as anybody is. Casey hands Melissa the gun, reminding her that her daughter will be dead if she doesn’t follow.

JJ intervenes. “Come on. She’s got nothing to do with this, okay? Just let her go. She’s not a part of this. You have no reason to hurt her. Just let her go.”

Casey smirks, a new idea seemingly brews in his head. He grabs the gun from Melissa, walks over to JJ, and grabs her hair. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

You and Spencer stay still and silent as you let things unfurl, that is until the unsub pushes the poor store manager away and shoots her.

“Do not move!”

Casey then hands the gun to Melissa again, which she accepts easily this time. “New deal. Now you need to kill one of these three.”

She’s shaking but aims the gun in your direction still.  “Who’s it gonna be?”

Melissa looks the three of you in the eye and pleads, “Please, I don’t want to do this.” 

Looking at your peripheral vision, you know that JJ and Spence have something up their sleeve to avoid having Melissa shoot one of you. Spencer never wavers with his eye contact with Melissa, while JJ looks ahead with a determined look on her face.

“Judge, you’ve got to decide. That’s what you do, right? Decide life or death with a flick of your gavel.”

The judge trembles while aiming the gun at each of you until the shrill ring of the telephone makes all of you jump. Finally, they’ve opened a line of communication with Casey, and you were just hoping that he at least take the call even though you know that he has what he wants and most likely won’t negotiate. 

He lets it ring, contemplating if he should pick it up. Reid encourages him. “Answer it, Casey.”

Casey tells Reid to shut up, further confirming your feeling that he won’t talk to somebody from the outside. He turns to Melissa. “Pull the trigger.”

By this time, Melissa’s gun is aimed at the ground, and you’re currently steeling yourself to what might happen next — until Casey does the unexpected. 

He lets the phone off the receiver but doesn’t pick it up to speak with your team outside. He just…let it in the open, letting everyone hear what’s happening inside.

Huh.

He turns his focus back on Melissa. “Pull the trigger.”

You share a look with JJ and Reid, and before any of them can speak up. You kneeled from your position. “Casey. If Melissa won’t play, I will.”

JJ and Spence looked at you as you tried to settle with the unsub, the blonde shaking her head. You knew JJ was planning to do it as well but you beat her to it.

“Truth or dare. That’s your game, right?” You asked, standing slowly. Casey hesitates but aims his gun at you nonetheless. “I’ll play.”

On the other hand, your team outside has finally accessed the security feed, all the while listening to you. The good thing was even though the camera wasn’t capable of audio, the unsub let them listen through the phone.

“All right, looks like Reid, Y/L/N, and JJ are tied up, and it’s the shop manager that was shot. Right? Look. She’s still moving.”

Simmons studies the feed, and points at the door caught by the camera. By now they’re delegating the police with their positions and Tara asks Garcia to route the video and sound feed to the local police department where Emily is.

“Melissa, the weapon, now!”

“Casey, I know what it’s like, to be wrongly accused, sent to prison for a crime you didn’t commit,” Reid says, trying to empathize with the unsub.

As expected, Casey didn’t buy it even if it was the truth. He then turned his attention to you. “Okay, agent…” 

“Y/L/N.”

“Agent Y/L/N. Truth or dare.”

Without hesitation, you responded. “Truth.”

“If I think you’re lying or stretching the truth in the slightest, I’ll kill these two.”

When you nodded, Casey continued. “You ever shoot anybody before?”

“Yes, I have.”

“You enjoy it?”

“No.”

“Liar!”

“No, no, no. I’m not lying. I had no choice when I shot those people. But I did not enjoy it. I didn’t.” He seems to accept your answer somehow, and when doesn’t follow up, you do. “Okay, you asked, and I told the truth, okay? It’s the truth. So now it’s my turn, right? That’s how this game is played. We take turns. Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

“What’s it gonna take for all of us to walk out of here alive, for this to end peacefully?” You know it’s a long shot, but it never hurt to try when yours and four other lives are at stake. Casey shatters your hope with his response.

“I ain’t going back to prison. My turn. Truth or dare?”

You still picked truth, knowing that if you chose the other option, he most likely would dare you to kill JJ or Spencer or one of the civilian hostages—or yourself.

“I want you to say something you’re afraid to say, that you’d never tell anybody. And you better make it good, because if it’s not, it’s gonna be the last thing you ever say.”

You nod in understanding, wracking your brain for anything that you can use to say. You gasped as he shot Melissa, cutting you off as he viewed what you said as boring. “Next!”

Your chest is heaving as you think carefully about what to say next, nerves getting the best of you. Knowing very well that time is of the essence, your throat then decides to close up as if it’s physically hurting you to say the words that will come out of your mouth. Casey was having none of it as he dragged you back on your knees. “Last chance. Something you would never say aloud, not even to your partners here. Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me, or I kill them both.”

You’re so close to hyperventilating as you look at your two teammates with tears in your eyes, and before you pass out and drop the chance to save everyone, you rush the words without thinking anymore.

“Um...I'm seeing someone, a lovely woman, but I'm... still hung up on Emily. My boss,” you chuckled sadly. Looking up as the unsub reaches out for the phone, assuming that he wanted to let your team outside hear what you have to say, you continued. “She and I uh, we kind of had a...I'm not even sure what to call it. We had a thing before she left for London. Of course, we still had communication, but we never got to talk about that. Talk about us, and now the rest is history.”

Back at the station, Emily gulped when her name was mentioned, feeling Luke’s curious eyes on her as he got ready to go to rescue Melissa’s daughter. Her jaw clenched as she kept her features schooled, she could not let her emotions take over her right now. There's a nothing-to-lose unsub with two civilian and three federal agents hostage in closed quarters. An erratic unsub whose gun is pointed at your head, for god's sake. She can deal with that later.

“I thought I'd get over it, you know. But what's that saying? Distance makes the heart grow fonder. That's when I realized that I...” you trailed off, shaking your head. The unsub is having none of it when he reminds you of the gun on your head. “When she came back to the BAU I was prepared to take this feeling down to the grave.”

“Go on, say it. Don't hold back.”

Your eyes darted to the ceiling, searching for any CCTV that could capture your face. There was none, you figured it was placed somewhere out of your line of sight. Relieved that none of the team could see your face, you took a big breath as you finally revealed your deepest secret to everyone. To her.

“I'm in love with you, Emily Prentiss. I always have, and I always will. I was fine without you knowing this, but god I think about what could've been, every waking moment of my life.”

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest as you finally confronted your feelings. You know that you've been in love with Emily for a long time now but you didn't have it in you to put it in words. Confronting your feelings for her made you scared, so much so that you waited for Emily to say something first until case after case passed…until she eventually left to work in Interpol, words left unsaid. Years have passed and you didn't hear a peep about it from the woman, which left you hanging on to your feelings for the BAU Unit Chief. You knew that you should’ve moved on a long time ago, but you just…couldn’t.

“Hot damn,” Casey chuckles. “That’s what I’m talking about. Now those are some last words right there, but not good enough to save your life.”

The relief in saying it out loud almost made you overlook the unsub’s finger onto the trigger until Spencer shot him in the gut. You and JJ turned to him, noticing the gun holster in his ankle. As if on cue, the police then bursts out the door. You let JJ them about the wounded, allowing yourself to ruminate on what just happened.

Once outside, you let the cool night’s air hit your face, hoping that no one talks to you about what happened tonight—though knowing that you’ll have to deal with this confession sooner or later once you return home.

Perhaps it can wait until after Dave and Krystall’s wedding.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The world seems to have given you its grace as Emily didn’t bring Mendoza with her…but you know full well that grace can be and will be recalled anytime as your plus one chat with Penelope, Spencer, and Tara at the bar. 

While Penelope keeps them busy, you give in on doing what you deprived yourself of the past couple of hours—indulging at the sight of Emily, how her off-shoulder dress allows you to drink in the skin of her neck and shoulders, and how you used to—

Nope. Don’t.

Before you can’t help but go down the rabbit hole that is Emily Prentiss, you turn your attention back to the bar. “Pen, can I have double of your fancy drinks?”

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Sophie asks, her hand on your back. 

“Hmm? Nothing, just wanted to feel the bite of ‘The Rossi’,” you smile, and before she can comment on it, you let the drink burn through your throat until there’s nothing left on the glass. 

Emily goes to put her gift on the side, standing next to JJ as she subtly looks around the room to search for you. She spots you at the bar, shaking your head as you set your glass down. Emily makes a mental note to ask for one of those later, knowing that she needs to have liquid courage if she has to watch you with your date all night. She’ll need all the help she can get to talk to you.

She’s yet to speak her side about your confession, deliberately separating yourself from her as you got into the other SUV on the way to the airport that night. As she expected, you’d also kept your distance from her on the jet.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The ceremony was short and simple, but the love between the wedding couple made it so much special. You can’t keep the smile off your face as you watch your friend and father figure to get his second chance with the love of his life.

“Their marriage was in the stars…”

You find yourself mustering all of your resolve to not look at Emily as she gives her toast, so you let her voice lull you back to that rabbit hole again. With your feelings for her out in the open, it was hard not to fall back to the routine where you’ll think back to the nights of passion and words of ardor whispered to each other’s ears only, and soft smiles are exchanged. Moments which you hold very dear to your heart.

“...Twin flames, two souls that are always meant to be together.”

You keep your tears at bay on how beautiful Emily’s toast speech is, and how you can’t help but think that maybe…you wish that there’s a part of her that thinks of you while she utters those words. You wish those words were meant for you, too, because right now, she’s all you can think of. 

“Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it takes a parallel universe or something, but the thing about twin flames is that nothing can keep them apart…”

A sad smile appears on your face. Maybe, in a parallel universe, Emily Prentiss is in love with you too.

“To David and Krystall.”

The crowd’s cheer rouses you out of your deep thoughts, raising your glass to make a toast. You had the full intention of avoiding Emily physically tonight, but alas, the world has had enough of you running away as you find Emily’s dark eyes on you—like you’re the only person in the room.

Emily felt like her heart restarted again when you finally returned her gaze—and kept it. It made her burn inside. So when she spotted you walking to the bar alone, she kept that fire blazing and started up a conversation.

“Hey.”

Emily knew you’d already seen her coming and was glad you didn’t try to escape. “Hey, you,” you replied, a ghost of a smile appearing on your lips. It was fast, but Emily caught it still. She’s thinking carefully about what to say next when you speak again.

“Look, what I said back there, I needed to say something that would get his attention, and I needed to get to say something that would get everyone’s attention, you know, so I uh- I just needed to throw him off balance,” there was a slight waver in your voice which you played off with a nervous chuckle.

Emily knows that…but she needed to confirm something that’s been at the forefront of her mind lately. She needs to hear it, to see it. “Y/N… Truth or dare.”

Her eyes, at this close distance and with the lighting, offer its lucky spectator with the gold specks within her brown eyes. Before you could get yourself lost in it again, you answered. “Truth.”

“Did you mean it?”

You tried your best to convey it with your eyes, though you know she needs to hear it too—but then someone bursts the bubble you and Emily are in, effectively cutting off your trance. “Guys, they’re about to cut the cake," Sophie says, before kissing your cheek and interlacing her fingers with yours. She then turns to Emily. “Can I steal her for a second?” 

Emily nods, letting her whisk you away. Although baby steps were made today, she’s afraid that she might have to live with never hearing your answer.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The wedding allowed everyone to take a short reprieve from the horrors of your job, but the Everett Lynch case has been giving everyone a migraine (Rossi in particular) that sometimes you just want to bash your head in your desk in frustration. You feel for the man and his commitment to catching Lynch, which is why you’re now flooring the pedal on the way to the US Attorney’s Office to make sure Everett doesn’t break his daughter Grace out.

You can’t wait for backup any longer so you, JJ, and Reid split off to cover the underground garages where you can cut Lynch and Grace off. Reid and JJ ran off to the parking in Piedmont and 10th, while you now entered the parking in Trade Plaza as you spotted the father and daughter were about to get into a van. 

“Everett Lynch! FBI! Stop! Drop your weapon and place your hands on your head. Now!”

Lynch slowly puts his gun on the ground and kicks it over, so you order to do the same with her backpack. 

You've been in the same positions enough to know not to take your eyes off the suspects, even for a split second, but you guessed you’re not always lucky as you didn’t anticipate Grace shooting you down. 

It wasn’t in her profile. Like father, like daughter, you mused.

And well, your luck must have run out already, because in all places to have been shot, it’s in a place that’s not covered by your vest. You’re lying on the pool of your blood as the tires of their getaway car squeal out of the parking lot. You try to reach out for your gun in an attempt to shoot it down, but your vision is already blurring at the sides. 

You could faintly hear Spencer’s voice on your earpiece, but you can’t find the strength to answer it as you’re holding on to what remaining energy you have from succumbing to the darkness.

Eventually, you did, and the last thing you know is unfamiliar faces hovering over you, and the harsh lights of the hospital. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Your heart stopped.

Emily’s might as well do, too. 

“If I’d believe you, maybe-”

“No. There’s only one person to blame for this. Everett Lynch. He’s the one who shot Y/N, and he’s the one that we’ll move heaven and earth to bring to justice.”

Rossi reminded Emily that none of this is her fault, but she can’t help her mind going haywire over the thought of you getting hurt. She lets a few tears escape her eyes, before taking a deep breath and joining the others at the round table.

“Y/N’s gotta be okay, right? But what if she’s not okay? What if she’s—”

“Y/N’s strong, and she’s in good hands.”

Emily placed her hands at the back of the chair to keep her grounded, but her trembling hands hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the team. “Spence is staying at the hospital. He’s gonna keep us updated. In the meantime, the best thing we can do for Y/N-” her voice falters at your name, but she also has to keep her head in the game as the unit chief. “-Is to find Everett and Grace before they go deep underground.” 

She reads Spencer’s update to the team that you’re now in surgery, and then her heart stutters over the next text she gets.

It’s going to be a while. She’s gonna want to see you too when she wakes up, Emily.

The sun has long been set when Emily couldn’t hold herself back anymore and asks Rossi to take charge in the meantime. The unit chief arrives just in time as the doctor tells Reid that you're out of surgery. “Is she gonna be okay?” She asked with bated breath.

“She’s lost a lot of blood, but she’s currently stable.”

“Can we see her right now?”

The doctor nods and leads the two to your room. Emily lets out the breath that she's been holding as soon as she hears the steady beeping of the monitor. She couldn't help herself as she approached your still sleeping figure, her hand cupping your face, thumb softly caressing the apple of your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were missing sooner,” Spencer whispered.

“You haven't talked with her yet.” He continued, but it’s no longer directed at you.

It's not a question, everybody knows the tension that's been up with the two of you ever since the confession. No one attempted to bring it up—not when the two of you are present, anyway.

You, nor Emily didn’t bring it up anymore after the wedding, either, as both of you didn’t know how to talk about it. Now you’re back to walking on eggshells around each other.

How do you even go back to how you were before?

Emily retracted her hand. “Unless it's about a case, no.”

“Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

“No.”

Sad would be an understatement for Emily. She's been oceans apart from the team, from you, when she was in London but right now, you've never felt so far. Emily desperately wanted to reach out to you, but she didn't know what to say. There's also the fact that you're keeping her at arm's length, and that drives the two of you even further away from one another.

“You should, right now. The doctor said it’s unlikely that she can hear us, but it’ll be good for you to let it out.” Spencer pats her shoulder as an offer of consolation. “I’ll be right out.”

Unlike before, Emily didn’t bother to collect her thoughts anymore, letting her heart speak instead. “I know things between the two of us have been kind of weird lately…ever since you said you’re in love with me.”

It has been playing in her head since that moment…then there was one night when she’d hit rock bottom, and asked Penelope to get the audio file of your confession sent to her phone. It was the closest thing to ‘bringing it up’ with anyone from the team, but even then when Garcia asked Emily about it when her head was clearer, she shrugged the technical analyst off.

“I heard it, and it’s yet to leave my head, but the truth is I don’t know what to do with that. I mean I know why you said it, but what I’m itching to know is…if you meant it. But now, all of a sudden none of that matters. What matters is that you wake up. Come back to me, so I get to have more time with you.”

Emily sits at the edge of your bed and takes your hand in hers. The feeling of your soft and gentle touches against her skin now felt like a fever dream, something that she was not sure if it had happened with how long ago it was. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Y/N. Please don’t leave me.”

She lets out a breath that she’s been holding, taking in the features of your face. How your lashes kiss your skin, the way your brow furrows together as you read case reports, or how your nose scrunches up when you smile.

Emily dreams of you that night.

“Em.”

She only hums in response.

“Emily Prentiss,” you tried again, but she only groaned. “Em.” This time, you take your free hand to her head, because she’s taken your other hand hostage.

Finally, she stirs awake at your touch. “Did you sleep here all night?”

“Huh?”

You chuckled at her groggy features. She’s adorable. “How are you more out of it than I am?”

Emily only laughs softly in return, letting go of your hand as she sputters apologies.

“I’m glad you’re here, Em.”

“You’re my best friend. Where else would I be?”

…Right. I’m your best friend.

When you didn’t answer, Emily stood up. “I should go and let you get some rest.” 

“No. No, not yet,” you racking your brain on what to say next, to prevent Emily from leaving. “I…I’ve missed you.” You’ll just blame it later on the drugs they put you in.

“Me too.”

“It’s my fault that things have been weird between the two of us.” Emily tensed up at that, so you went on. “Yeah, I heard you…Um, we do need to talk about what I said.”

“No, we don’t-”

You grasped Emily’s hand in yours to stop her. She lets you continue. “I needed to say something real, and that’s what came out, and I’m so sorry. I didn’t—I never meant to do that to you…or her, to Sophie. I was prepared to take that secret to the grave, but now it’s out. And I can’t…lie to you and say I didn’t mean it. Because I do. I’m deeply in love with you. I know that’s not fair, springing this onto you when I know you love Andrew, and I want you to be happy…and I just want us to be okay.”

“We are,” Emily smiles, genuinely for the first time in days, also while keeping her tears at bay. She squeezes your hand in assurance.

You’re the first one to let go of her touch, already missing her hand that you think perfectly fits with yours.

Baby steps. 

But this time, maybe, you can let Emily go the same way you’ve always loved her. Silently.

[nettlestingsoup]

kard was SO FUN but honestly people need to be FAR more mindful of their phones at gigs. i get that you want to film for friends or for memories or whatever other reason, but every time a song starts and a hundred phones go up it makes it REMARKABLY difficult to actually see the stage.

[queerofthedagger]

was scrolling through an inactive blog looking for a specific post (that i didn't find ofc) and man. 2020 merlin tumblr really was something else we were all stuck at home with too much time on our hands and not using it to touch grass and it showed, and i mean this both exactly as (affectionate) and (derogatory) as it deserves. lord

[1941-crowley-slut]

Nothing pisses me off more than seeing a video of an actor and everyone in the comments is calling them by the name of some character they played. Like if you say "They really are so similar to [insert character they played]" then sure, but I keep seeing actors doing interviews or appearing on shows and everyone's like "[name of character]" AND IM LIKE NO!!! THAT IS A REAL LIVING HUMAN PERSON, YOU ARE SO ANNOYING. THEY ARE AN ACTOR. AND I MIGHT LOVE THEIR CHARACTER JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO BUT THIS IS A REAL PERSON WITH A NAME, CALL THEM BY IT!!!

And while we're on that, when they are posting things as themselves, stop acting like their real life is the movie/show they played in??? Like a poor actor announces they're getting married for example and everyone's like "oh nooo what would your fictional partner think about this how could you do this to them" THEY WOULDN'T. THEY'RE FICTIONAL.

Or "Oh I never knew [character name] could do this" AND IT'S THE ACTOR DOING IT, NOT THE CHARACTER. YEAH YOU DIDNT KNOW THE CHARACTER DID THIS BECAUSE THEY DON'T. BUT THE HUMAN PLAYING THEM CAN. CAUSE THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

Stop acting like actors are acting ooc when they are just being their fucking selves.

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

[verygoodcomments]

oh yes on the topic of submissions...

i had one from someone in my inbox from YONKS ago that tumblr is not letting me post for some reason. that person also sent me an ask about whether i could provide links to the videos/places i found the comments on (i would just answer their ask but it explicitly references their submission which, again, tumblr won't let me post... and also it was from ages ago) so let me answer that here

unless i think that mentioning the source amplifies the comment, or provides some humorous context, i usually don't do that as a general rule. if someone asks for the comment source and i still remember what it was, i'll tell them, but i don't tend to mention it explicitly on the post itself

i don't tend to redact pfps or usernames (to give some form of credit to the authors of the comments, sometimes they make the comment better, they're already public on the internet & usually posted on videos by youtubers exponentially more popular than my blog & usually post obscure comments i had to scroll for quite a while to find anyway, it's fun when someone recognizes their own username, etc etc), so this is an alternate method of security against people trying to be weirdos to the featured commenters. most of my posts come from youtube, which doesn't even have a direct messaging system anymore, which is simultaneously why i feel fairly comfortable leaving pfps/usernames unredacted on these comments and why i feel it's better if i try not to provide TOO many context hints at least in the actual text of the post. just on the off chance some bitter weirdo wants to try being a bitter weirdo, you know? and if someone goes all the way out of their way to try and track these comments down explicitly to bully these people, then at this point, it kinda seems like redacting that stuff wouldn't have helped anyway. while i definitely do not condone harassing anyone from here, i also... don't think it'd exactly be My fault there, and entirely the fault of this hypothetical extremely brainrotted rando. this has, to my knowledge, never once happened, but just putting that out there

i do give little hints or context notes in the tags on occasion, under the general assumption that anyone following this blog knows that this is a place of comment appreciation, an art gallery of Internet Humans. usually it only extends to mentioning the youtuber or what type of video it was, but as a general statement. this is the other part of my philosophy here: i enjoy hunting for comments as a sort of peoplewatching-esque hobby and i think other people should try it out (so long as they have the self-restraint to NOT reply to people even if they make you mad. it's never worth it man.). i also think it'd be a fun treat for someone to only get a hint, figure out what video it was, and then go on their own hunt and see the comments in the wild. i often skip over Loads that don't quite make the cut so you'll probably find something else fun in there

does that make sense? it does to me. anyway if anyone ever wants to know where i found a comment just ask and i'll tell you, so long as i remember. fair warning, the older the post the comment is on, the more likely i am to have forgotten what specific video it was. i usually at least have a vague idea of the original poster and/or the content/topic of the video but sometimes i don't

[crunchchute]

me itching to post some cosplay pics i just found because i look good there but also fighting for my life to Not post them cause i dont want my face online

[nicoscheer]

19 Oct '23

3Arena

Dublin, Republic of Ireland

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A post shared by Miles Kane (@mileskane)

Dublin night 3! Last night in paradise X 🐢

WTF happened holy shit; Imagine what you must feel when R U Mine? Ends and you’re prepared to say goodnight and then Alex just fucking steps up to that mic with his acoustic

I really hope Miles could hear, feel and see just how much we all love him

505 (he fist bumped Nick, squeezed Alex hand below the piano (0:52; and Alex’s immediate fucking radiant smile) and gave Jamie a kiss on the head, also had a tiny conversation with a smiling Jamie and hugged him again after the end of the song AND he got filmed by Ben Chappell meaning we might get Miles footage in their documentary !!!)

Perfect sense

Oh god no Nick had fucking tears in his eyes 😭😭😭🫠🫠and Jamie too looked like he was about to cry

Via

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The final moments of the car tour

Big ideas

But now the orchestra’s got us all surrounded

Miles on the guitar and Alex on the piano just like their very first 505 performances (for example at Glastonbury 2007)

​like the fucking violins as bachgorund music during their hug 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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A post shared by Domino Recording Co. (@dominorecordco)

:((

Another angle of the last hug

Big ideas

Body paint

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https://youtu.be/OPCfN_PT2LI?si=kYTtrX0kICVID8ZW

Alex introducing perfect sense a last time

[liebelesbe]

btw the Azubi meetup today was good (except for the walking way too much and the heat)!! I talked to a few ppl I'll be working with in September and they seem nice <3

[elytrafemme]

the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years. 

but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.

[casual-eumetazoa]

I’m re-reading the 25k-ish words that I’ve written for FrankensteinWIP so far and man, it’s been so long since I actually enjoyed reading back my own text. It’s not the kind of literary prose I wish I could do, but it’s so distinctnly mine, and this book in general is such a self-indulgent project, it makes me happy just to work on it. 

On the other hand, I’m realizing more and more that I can’t juggle PhD school, youtube, and writing all at the same time. And logically I should prioritize youtube over writing because it has at least some sort of potential to become my full time job, but it hurts so much to post these videos that I spend months on and get like, a couple hundred views and 10 comments. So I would much rather focus on novels, but it makes me feel guilty. I feel like I haven’t had any sort of success with youtube yet because I don’t try hard enough, don’t post often enough, etc etc.

Doing the PhD is great because my workload is not insane, I get paid pretty well, and I love the people at my institute. I do have to manage my energy levels incredibly well and I end up burn out every few months anyway, but I make it work. Still, eventually I will graduate and will need to get a real job... and I don’t know if I can do it. Like, I don’t know if I will be able to hold a full-time post-doc position, especially a tenure track one. Especially if my chronic illnesses will keep detereorating. 

I’m hoping that after I graduate I will be able to scrape enough science writing and tutoring hours together to work part-time from home, and have time for youtube and writing. Doesn’t look very achievable now cause any freelance like this requires self-promo, and it seems like I really suck at it. But a boy can dream I guess.

[cakesdown]

I kinda miss making cosplay tiktoks tbh, they really got me through 2020. But i just could Not anymore, not on that platform