#some sort of vent tag

[thevalkyriewarrior]

I hate the feeling of not being broken enough.

Of feeling like there's always going to be someone else who needs attention and comfort more than you

That you're less important because you're holding yourself together better

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

I'm just gonna cope by rewatching all my amvs thanks

[pyjamacryptid]

PSA FOR MAKE-UP AND SKINCARE BRANDS: START LISTING POTENTIAL ALLERGENS AT THE END IN BOLD LIKE FOOD PRODUCTS HAVE TO BECAUSE IT IS WAY OVERDUE AS A MANDATORY REQUIREMENT AND I AM TIRED.

[scootszilla]

day 485 of projecting onto the funny pizza man

[devildom-moss]

I'm alive (light-heartedly). Thank y'all for being so patient with me. I have been having some trouble writing requests for a bit, and I've been a little worn out.

I'm going to just focus on the poll fic for this weekend and try to get other stuff done next month. It's been hard for me to actually get started, but I'm enjoying the process with this one, so hopefully you all will like the NSFW Beel x Diavolo x MC content I'll have for you, some time on the 31st (I hope).

[smalltimidbean]

One of those weeks with too many thoughts of things to do, but none of them happen

Well, at least not to the degree you want them to be happening

[silversiren1101]

So that IGN interview with the BG3 team somehow soured my perceptions on writers and designers even more than they already were. Incredible, lol.

[cannibal-nightmares]

"I wish I could live like there was nothing to hide Will you stay or will you turn away from me like them When you start to understand how cynical I am?"

[ x ]

[thevalkyriewarrior]

Me: I'm going to go to bed now!

My Brain: Cool! How about we get Extremely upset about something that happened Several Months Ago?? That way we can't sleep!!

Me: cool thanks :'(

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

(prefacing this post by saying that, as far as i know, i am not a system or plural, i’m just talking abt some weird mental shit i experience)

I’m really scared to open up about this, but I really need to get it out there because it’s causing me a lot of distress and I need to know if anyone has similar experiences. Please try to understand before jumping to any conclusions.

It really does feel like there’s another part of my brain that’s just. not me at all. Like I’ll feel anger, but it’s not my anger, it’s just there sitting in my brain. Or I’ll suddenly feel happiness soak through my brain like water on a paper towel and it’s like “ok. guess something in my brain is happy now.”

But most of the time it’s not good, and it can hurt other people. My friend will say something that’s fine to me, but that part of my brain hates it, and suddenly I’ll be spitting a “kill yourself” that’s not even mine. And I can’t explain “sorry that was the part of my brain that sucks” bc I’ll get called crazy so I’ll just apologize over and over and over. It’s horrible. Even if I’m only not in control for a split second, that’s enough for it to spit an insult or slam my hands on the table.

It happens with opinions too. Bad ones. I’m not a transmedicalist, but it’s like that part of my brain is. This unfortunately creates a weird lens, because I have a lot of respect for microlabels (i mean, i literally use them), but that part of my brain does not. It’s not intrusive thoughts, I know the difference, it’s literally like it has a separate opinion that I cannot change bc it’s not me. I hate it so much. It makes me feel guilty as all hell.

It’s scary opening up about this, but I really want to know if anyone has similar experiences. Is this a delusion? Do I just have internalized stuff I need to work on? Am I just a bad person?

[jakeperalta]

spent weeks psyching myself up to stand up to my mum and then immediately got shot down by her 😃👍

[dandyshucks]

okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic

so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.

however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.

do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.

and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.

so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!

and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.

(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)

[beananium]

i think everytime someone mentions i "need to" lose weight / go on a diet or comments on my weight in general (especially if they're seeing me losing weight as a positive thing) i should legally be required to bite them

[beastking-golion]

Finished my run of Mortum’s romance and.

[cryptidcalling]

Made a really long rambly post about omegaverse Vesper and what it means to me but it got really dramatic and kinda venty so I'm gonna try again but shorter.

I think the most impactful thing is that because omegaverse runs on primal instincts, a lot of things are taken more seriously than they are in real life. Submission, vulnerability, weakness, coddling and comfort, those are an omega's needs. They're not wants or desires or preferences. They're needs, and they're treated with the seriousness of needs.

When omega Vesper feels overwhelmed and anxious he needs someone else, a pack mate, to recognize it and help him calm down. He doesn't always want that, what he wants is to hide and not let anyone see him. But what he needs is help, and so he's given help. When he's feeling worthless because he made a mistake or feels like he hasn't been productive enough he needs someone to just pull him into their lap and tell him how good he is, how much he's wanted. He doesn't request that, but they can tell that he needs it, so he gets it. When he's feeling overwhelmingly lonely and replaceable what he needs is for an alpha to re-affirm their claim by refreshing the mark on his neck. It's not a desire, he sometimes finds it embarrassing, but he needs it. He needs to be vulnerable. He needs to have time during his busy and stressful life to be submissive, so he can just relax without having to make decisions or have responsibilities. He wants to be needed, but he NEEDS to be wanted.

And by making these things needs rather than wants it validates them significantly. It removes the fear, from an outsider's perspective, that the pack is going to find Vesper too tiring or his emotions too much to deal with. Vesper is anxious, but we know that his pack is just making sure his needs are met, no different from making sure their partner is eating and sleeping every day. These vulnerabilities are not extra, they're not more emotional labor than anyone signed up for. Everybody knows that these are things that omegas need, so there's no question that the pack will meet those needs happily and genuinely.