#some time skips to show steve's pining over the years

[steddieas-shegoes]

Hey! I love your writing so much so I figured I’d send a little request!

Could you doing something like Steve hase always noticed Eddie but Eddie is completely oblivious? With some first kiss/love confession?

OH ANYTIME!!! Thank you :) I am always here for pining and love confessions. The sappier, the better. The more nauseating, the better. The more I want to punch a wall, the better. I hope that happens here for you with this one! - Mickala ❤️

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Steve Harrington’s bisexual awakening was Eddie Munson.

He was 14 years old at summer camp for the last time because “teenagers just don’t go to summer camp, Steven.” Which was ridiculous because it was a summer camp for teenagers, but whatever, not worth arguing with his father about.

Eddie was there, hair longer than most of the other boys, floppy and curly like he was trying to grow it out but didn’t know how to manage it.

If there was anything Steve could do, it was manage hair.

So he walked up to him and offered to show him his routine.

Eddie laughed, honest to god tears falling from his eyes as he slapped his leg.

Steve just stared at him, not used to being laughed at, only with.

But Eddie seemed to sense that he was serious, so he calmed down, but kept a small smile on his face.

“Thanks man, but I can’t afford the shit you do. I just gotta deal with it.”

“I mean, you can have mine at the end of camp if you want. I’ll just buy more.”

Which felt like the right thing to say, but Eddie just looked down at the ground and shook his head.

“Nah. Don’t really need your charity, dude.”

He walked away before Steve could explain it wasn’t charity, he just really like his curls and wanted him to take care of them.

------------

It was hard not to notice Eddie at school. He made sure he was noticed.

Everyone said it was because he was a “fairy” and thrived off the attention, even when he was getting beat up.

One particularly nasty rumor said he liked being beat up.

So when 15 year old Steve heard all this, he obviously knew he couldn’t ever say a damn thing about himself or any interaction he’d had with Eddie.

Which was really just the one time he’d accidentally insulted him.

His hair was longer now, just past his chin. The curls looked a bit better, though Steve could tell he didn’t use any type of conditioner, and he tried not to let that bother him.

He watched him though, secretly, when he could get away with it. In the halls or the cafeteria was easiest since he could always say he was staring at a girl if someone asked.

The way he just always walked with his head high, his confidence unlike anything Steve had seen from anyone that wasn’t a jock, made Steve’s stomach flutter.

He heard Carol say “confidence is sexy” enough times to start believing it was true, and that was before he watched Eddie strut around the school like he wasn’t constantly being thrown insults.

He watched as Eddie formed his own little ragtag group of friends, all outcasts because of one thing or another, only building his confidence more.

He watched as Eddie started driving a beat up van to school, making a name for himself as the guy who would sell liquor out of the back on Fridays.

People still teased him, still beat him up, but they were giving him money for liquor for their house parties left and right.

Steve watched.

------------

Nancy was amazing, everything Steve wanted and everything his parents wanted.

She was going to have an incredible future, and encouraged Steve to work hard to have one too.

He loved her. He did.

But he still watched Eddie.

Eddie who was standing on tables in the cafeteria, giving speeches that honestly, weren’t that dramatic. Maybe if he was anyone else, people would actually listen.

Eddie who started dealing weed in the woods behind school a few days a week, admitting the liquor thing wasn’t for him when he saw how many idiot kids still got behind the wheel to drive home after the parties he supplied.

Eddie who was unapologetically himself in all the ways Steve wished he could be.

Nancy was beautiful, she was smart, she was determined.

But Eddie was like a forest fire, a small spark that ignited with just a small fan of the flame, his best qualities hidden behind the smoke.

And Steve wanted to burn.

------------

Steve graduated. Eddie didn’t.

He didn’t get into college, so his dad made him get a summer job.

Eddie didn’t really hang out at the mall, wasn’t really his scene, but he did come into Scoops occasionally, and apparently only when Steve worked.

His coworker, Robin, rolled her eyes when Steve insisted on scooping his ice cream into the cone, ringing him out at the register, and watching him walk out.

“Are you poisoning him slowly or something? Are you planning on doing something stupid? What’s happening?”

He never told her anything, just shrugged in response.

Until the Russians. Until their stupid truth serum made him spill his guts literally and figuratively in the mall bathroom.

Robin listened as he talked about every moment, every look, every doubt he ever had about his feelings. About how he loved Nancy, he did, but she would never be the one he thought of first when someone talked about a future, about love, about a life.

Robin listened as he cried, sobbed really, explained how he knew it would never happen, but it didn’t stop him from wanting.

She listened until she couldn’t anymore.

“Steve, you’re not alone in this okay? I’m…You know Tammy?”

“Thompson?” He sniffled, finally looking up at Robin.

“Yeah. I’ve had a crush on her for like, two years.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“But why her? She’s kind of awful.”

Robin laughed, a real laugh, not a drug-induced one.

“Yeah, but she’s also kind of not.”

Steve nodded.

“I know what you mean.”

They were trauma bonded, sure, but they were also just bonded through life’s fucked up ways of bringing people with similar qualities and interests together.

------------

If Steve knew the next time he saw Eddie Munson would be when he was wanted for murder, a small part of him actually may have believed you.

Not because he thought Eddie was actually a murderer, but more because he knew what the town thought of him, and would have expected nothing less in the face of the unexplainable.

The three-time senior was kind of fucked if they didn’t figure this out, looking at a lifetime in prison for a murder he didn’t commit.

Steve focused on thinking about that anytime his mind wandered to how Eddie held a broken bottle to his neck, his other hand pushing him back, his leg between Steve’s to keep him there.

Robin pinched him when she could see his mind starting to drift. She was the best.

And as they worked to figure things out, and fight their way through Vecna’s curse, Steve managed to have actual conversations with Eddie.

They weren’t really ever completely alone, no one was while they were figuring things out and making a plan, but they still managed to talk.

It was enough for Steve. Enough to know he could maybe be friends with him when this was over and done. Maybe go to his graduation, maybe help him leave the town that was ready to burn him at the stake.

He didn’t expect it to be it. To be all he got.

So when he saw Dustin sobbing over a bloody body, he didn’t waste time. He had Nancy put pressure on the worst of the wounds, made Robin get Dustin out, he needs to go, started begging, pleading quietly with Eddie to just survive.

“You can’t let the fire burn out yet, idiot. Not now, not like this.”

Nancy didn’t acknowledge what he was saying, but he knew she knew.

He was tearing his shirt into pieces, makeshift bandages the only option for holding him together as Steve found a way to carry him to the trailer and through the gate.

It wasn’t easy, but nothing about any of their Upside Down trauma had been, and Eddie was worth it.

------------

Steve waited hours.

Then he waited days.

When a week had gone by, Wayne pulled him into a hug and practically begged him to go home and get some rest.

“Our boy will wake up and we wanna look our best when he does, right?”

He couldn’t really argue with Wayne, not when he’d let him sit by Eddie’s bed with him for days.

He didn’t tell Wayne about his feelings, didn’t really know if Wayne was a safe person to tell, but he figured Wayne knew anyway.

When he managed to sleep for a few hours in his own bed, shower in his own bathroom, and eat an actual cooked meal, he found his way back to Eddie’s room. The nurses no longer paid any attention once Owens and his government buddies cleared Eddie’s name.

He walked into the same scene he’d watched for a week now; Eddie asleep, hooked up to more machines that any human should have to, chest rising and falling slowly.

But Wayne hadn’t made it back yet, hopefully getting more sleep than Steve had been able to.

So he took the chair closest to Eddie’s head, gently brushing some of his hair from his face and reaching down to hold his hand.

Even like this, bruises and scars littering his body and face, he was beautiful.

His fire was still burning, Steve could see it.

He managed to fall asleep like that, holding Eddie’s less injured hand in his, head on the bed against his leg.

------------

A hand in his hair woke him up.

Expecting it to be Wayne or Robin, he blinked his eyes open and slowly sat up, ready for another long day of waiting.

But it wasn’t Wayne or Robin.

“Eddie!”

Steve resisted throwing himself at him, knowing he would be in pain, but he let his hands hover over him to show he wanted to.

“Hey Stevie.”

God, his voice was so nice. It was like actual music to his ears. He never wanted to go so long without hearing it again.

“How long have you been awake? Do you need the nurse? Pain meds? Where is the pain?”

Eddie chuckled quietly, small smile visible under his oxygen mask.

“I don’t really know but the pain is everywhere.”

“Shit, okay. Let me go get someone. I don’t even know who’s on shift right now. I don’t know how long I slept.”

“Stevie.”

“Yeah?”

“Calm down.”

Steve let out a disbelieving laugh, barely more than a huff of air.

“You almost died, Eddie! And you’re hurting. I almost-” Steve choked on a wet sob, his throat closing up as tears flooded his eyes.

“You didn’t though. You saved me. I’m here right?”

Eddie’s voice was barely above a whisper, and it clearly pained him to even talk, but he was doing it for Steve.

Steve suddenly realized there was far too much space between them, that if he wasn’t feeling the heat of Eddie’s flames against his skin, he couldn’t convince himself he was still alight.

He gently sat on the edge of the bed, taking Eddie’s hand back in his own.

“I almost didn’t make it in time. You were so pale, Eds. So bloody.”

“But you did. You made it.”

Steve took a shaky breath.

He knew he needed to say it. He needed to tell Eddie why he did everything he could to save him, why he hasn’t left his side except at Wayne’s insistence, why he was panicking so much now.

Eddie squeezed his hand.

“Stevie, you think I didn’t see you watching me? I started to think you were gonna kill me sometimes with how often you just stared at me.” Eddie took a few breaths, closing his eyes as he focused on what he wanted to say and not the pain. “I figured it out there. After Nancy. That’s why I came to Scoops so much. Loved that little outfit.”

Eddie was smirking at him and Steve let out a snort.

“I hated that thing. Robin did too.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that Robin never helped me when I came in either. It was always you.”

Steve couldn’t look at him, not while he was being seen so clearly.

“And all this? With the monsters and crazy people in this town trying to kill me? But you were the quickest to believe me. The one making sure I wasn’t going crazy. And then the one who got me out of there alive, even though I didn’t think there was any way I would.”

“Why didn’t you stick to the plan? You could’ve escaped with Dustin, been safe.”

“Because the world couldn’t lose Steve Harrington.”

“It couldn’t lose Eddie Munson, either.”

Eddie shook his head.

“I think you’re the only one who feels that way.”

“Really? You think Dustin could have handled losing you? Or Mike? He’s a shit, but he cares. And me? How was I supposed to?”

“Steve…”

“No! You don’t get to decide that you don’t matter to people. Everyone loves you and everyone would have been devastated to lose you. Wayne’s been sitting in this stupid plastic chair for a week waiting for you to wake up. You think he would have been okay with losing you?”

“Eventually, yeah.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’ve heard.”

Steve shook his head.

“How do you not see how much people love you?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Steve didn’t quite know what to say to that. It’s not that he believed he was expendable, it’s just that if it came down to someone having to die, he’d rather it be him. Not to play hero, but because picturing anyone else dying was too much to bear.

“You’re loved, too. Every single one of those kids love you like a brother. Robin would probably marry you if you had boobs. I was willing to die to keep you safe, Steve. How can you not see it?”

“It wasn’t just me.”

“No. I wanted all of you to be safe. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the thought of you dying that made me cut the rope.”

“Why?”

“Because I watched you, too. All the time. I did things for your attention. I thought that was obvious.”

Steve shook his head. No way he was telling the truth. He constantly ranted about the popular kids, about how much he hated them and everything they represented. The hierarchy of high school continued into life and he wanted no part of it.

Eddie groaned as he adjusted a bit in the bed.

“I may need to continue this later, Stevie.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. Let me get the nurse,” Steve muttered as he got up.

The nurse bustled in only a minute later, followed by Steve, who thought through the entire conversation he just had with Eddie.

Did Eddie…like him?

No way. He couldn’t possibly like Steve. He hated the whole King Steve thing. He’d said so multiple times over the years.

But so did Steve.

He zoned out while the nurse asked Eddie questions and checked his vitals, thinking back to all the times he’d been watching Eddie in school.

How almost every time, Eddie had already been watching him.

How Eddie’s theatrics always waited until Steve was in the same room.

How Eddie glared at Nancy, even when she was helping him.

Steve watched as the nurse put a new bag on his IV pole, explaining to him that this would be a morphine drip that would probably knock him out for another 12-24 hours.

He watched Eddie nod along, past the point of caring what was happening and just wanting the pain to stop.

The nurse finally left, and Steve didn’t wait.

He walked over to the bed, leaning over Eddie.

“You are an idiot,” Steve said, leaning in closer to his lips, grateful that the nurse had removed the oxygen mask and replaced it with a small nasal cannula.

“Am I?’ Eddie asked with a smirk, the lids of his eyes slowly getting heavier.

“Yeah. And I can’t believe I love an idiot so much.”

Eddie’s eyes widened for a second before they started to close again.

“You gonna kiss the idiot or make him fall asleep without one?”

Steve rolled his eyes, but leaned in to place a soft kiss on Eddie’s dry and cracked lips.

Eddie smiled into it, but didn’t seem to have the energy to kiss back right now.

Steve pulled away and rested his forehead against Eddie’s, gently, like he would break if he put too much of himself against him.

“You owe me a good one when you’re not high on morphine, deal?”

“Mhm. Deal, sweetheart.”

Steve blushed at the name, but Eddie’s eyes were closed.

Wayne walked in only a few minutes later, eyes wide.

“The nurse said he was awake?”

Steve nodded from his spot in the chair, Eddie’s hand in his, fond smile on his face.

“Yeah, she gave him morphine so he can rest some more.”

“Good,” Wayne visibly relaxed. “He tell you he’s in love with you yet or do I have to keep waitin’?”

“Well, not in so many words, but, kinda.”

“And you? You told him?”

“I called him an idiot.”

“Close enough.”

Steve laughed. It felt so good to laugh.

Eddie’s fire had spread quickly, the smoke clearing away just enough to let Steve be engulfed in his flames.

Steve was burning, and it was everything he hoped it would be.

[elvenisms]

on my doorstep —; e.m.

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader [5.6k]

summary: An unexpected gift exchange between you and Eddie leads to an eventful Valentine's Day. 18+ MDNI

cw: smut, fluff, no use of y/n, mutual pining, best friends to lovers, first i love yous (':, sub!eddie if you squint, oral (female receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v (as always, don't do this), lovesick idiots and emotional sex.

author's note: getting this up literally ten minutes before valentine's day ends! woohoo! got carried away (as i often do), hope u like it. <3

masterlist

February 10th, 1986

It was a somewhat chilly day in Hawkins, the wind whipping around dead leaves that hadn’t yet been raked, the trees prickly and barren. Forest Hills looked its best like this, you thought; you were never one for hot summer days, or freezing winter nights.

Inside your trailer, Nancy was pouring a cup of coffee, wearing a matching set of pajamas that was oh-so her. That alone made her look more put together than you or Robin, clad in baggy, mismatched sweats. 

“What time do you work, Robs?” You asked mid-yawn, blankets pooling around where you sat on the couch.

She frowned beside you, squeezed her eyes shut, and threw her head back dramatically. “Don’t remind me.”

“Can’t Steve cover for you?” Nancy rounded the corner with two steaming cups, handing them off to the two of you. “He kinda owes you. You covered for him for that date last week.”

“That is a great observation.” Robin pointed a finger at the girl, as if she’d forgotten. “I’ll call him.”

Knock, knock, knock. All three of your heads flew to the door, then back at each other, brows furrowed. 

“Expecting someone?” Nancy asked, and you shook your head in response.

Curious, you threw the blankets off of you, cradling your cup of coffee as you approached the door. Maybe the kids skipped school, had some adventure planned? Maybe Eddie was bored?

You unlocked it, then swung it open—no one was there.

You looked down, confused, and were met with a sea of red; a bouquet of roses, neatly organized inside a vase, sat on your porch. On top, a small note with your name written on it. 

Your jaw dropped slightly in shock. You’d almost forgotten that Valentine’s Day was fast approaching, and certainly didn’t anticipate getting any gifts. You’d been single for almost a year, and not exactly searching.

No reason, really. It just never felt right.

You picked up the bouquet, wide eyes scanning the park for any sign of who dropped it off, but you didn’t see a thing. 

When you turned around, Robin almost spat out her coffee. Nancy had a huge grin on her face. 

“Do you have a secret admirer?” She teased, but it was full of love.

“Not that I know of,” You sat the vase down on the table between the three of you. It really was beautiful. “But this definitely has my name on it.”

“Five bucks says I know who that’s from.” Robin raised her eyebrows, staring sheepishly over her mug. 

“I don’t think I’ll take that bet,” Nancy was still grinning her face off. “I think I know, too.”

You were even more confused now. You looked between them, expectant.

“ItsobviouslyEddie,” Robin spat out, then threw a hand against her mouth. Nancy rolled her eyes. 

“You could’ve given her, like, more than half a second to figure it ou—”

“What?” You interrupted, incredulous. “Why would… Eddie’s my best friend, you guys. It’s not—it’s not like that.”

It wasn’t like that; you just spent a lot of time together. Sometimes you watched movies, and fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms. Sometimes you’d go to his shows, watch him play guitar, and bite your lip so hard it bled. Sometimes you had… questionable dreams about him. 

Okay, maybe it was like that. But not for him.

The two girls were looking at you like you just failed a polygraph test. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” You grumbled, setting your coffee down on the table. “He doesn’t feel that way about me, okay? That’s not even his handwriting. It’s way too nice.”

Robin rose from the couch. “Whatever you say, chica,” She headed for the phone, eyeing you as she went. “I’m gonna call Steve.”

You looked to Nancy, who simply shrugged with a knowing smile, then back to the flowers. It wasn’t Eddie. It couldn’t be.

But what if it was?

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 11th, 1986

“I think I blew it.”

Eddie’s elbows rested on Steve’s kitchen counter, face buried in his hands. The house was empty, per usual, which Eddie always thought was insane—he wondered what it was like to have money for a place like this, let alone have it and never be in it.

“Oh please,” Steve had a mouth full of cereal, sitting a few feet away at the dining table. “What the hell are you talking about? You got her flowers. Girls love flowers.”

“She’s not just a girl.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, man. She’s a goddess, she hung the moon, she changed your life.” He gestured with his hand, rattling off the painstakingly cheesy things Eddie had said before. “Whatever, she loves flowers. Stop stressing.”

To anyone else, Steve might’ve looked like an asshole for dealing with Eddie’s anguish so casually. In reality, he quite appreciated it. Someone had to keep him grounded.

“Do you think she knows it’s me?” Eddie’s face finally left his hands, looking at his friend with a concerned expression.

“Doesn’t matter if she knows it’s you.” Steve pointed his spoon at him. “She hopes it’s you.”

“And how do we know that?”

“You know nothing, clearly.” Steve got up, carrying his empty bowl to the sink. Eddie rolled his eyes theatrically. “I, however, see how she looks at you when you’re together.”

Eddie’s heart did a little flip inside his chest. He wanted to believe that, he really did—but he doubted the words. “How… how does she look at me, then?”

Steve shrugged. “Sometimes like she wants to kiss you,” He spun on his heel, landing right across from where Eddie sat. “Sometimes like she wants to eat you.”

He swallowed harshly.

In the year that Eddie had known you, he’d been gone on you. Like, the whole time. It only got worse as you became better friends.

You’d help him study, insistent that he finally graduated, but his mind went fuzzy at your bare thighs, your floral perfume, the heat of your skin hovering just beside his. When he knew you were coming to his shows, he’d get indescribably nervous, petrified of embarrassing himself, despite knowing you probably couldn’t care less.

He thanked God he’d never seen or heard about you with another guy; at the same time, it was a little unbelievable. Hence, Steve had finally convinced him to do something—anything—remotely indicative of his feelings. 

Flowers. A good way to test the waters, Eddie thought, without giving himself away. 

After another thirty minutes of crisis-control, Steve drove him home. The boy gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, Ed, seriously.”

He appreciated it, though it did nothing to quell his anxiety. With a nod and a weak smile, he opened the passenger-side door, making toward his trailer.

He glanced at your place as he passed it. Just two days ago, it would’ve been so easy to knock on your door, ask to hang out. It suddenly felt impossible—perhaps because he was no longer shoving his feelings for you to the wayside. He’d made a move. Maybe he’d ruined everything between the two of you.

Mind racing, he treaded up his steps, nearly crushing what laid in front of his door.

A box of chocolates.

His whole body froze, staring at them wide-eyed. Slowly, he bent down, noticing a note stuck between the ribbon. Eds.

Not Eddie, not Ed… Eds.

The nickname he’d heard fall from your sweet lips a thousand times, and hoped he’d hear a thousand more. His heart thumped wildly.

He snatched the box, free hand digging through his pocket for his key, desperate to get inside before he passed away on the spot. He rushed to the couch, studying the note with gentle hands.

All it said was his name. But right now, it felt worthy of a golden frame, a tourist attraction—as if it were the eighth wonder of the world.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 12th, 1986

Despite the fact that you still questioned whether or not the roses were from Eddie, today was the fourth day in a row you hadn’t heard from him. No calls, no drop in visits—it was highly unusual. 

It was also a very good sign that it was, in fact, him. 

You hadn’t been able to focus on anything, especially since you dropped the chocolates off at his door. If he wasn’t your so-called ‘secret admirer’, you would have to explain all of this somehow. Well, I thought it was you, because I kinda hoped it was you, and…

The thought made you shudder.

“Are you okay?” Max asked, shoving a pair of sunglasses on her head.

You snapped out of your trance, looking between her and El. “I—yeah, I’m good. Are you guys ready to go?”

The two girls had showed up on your doorstep this afternoon, all giggles and playful shoves, begging to be taken to Starcourt. They took advantage of the soft spot you had for them often.

Soon enough, your run-down car was pulling into the mall parking lot.

“Alright, two hours tops, okay? I’m on night shift tonight, I need enough time to go home and change clothes.” You put on your best parental voice, the three of you making your way toward the entrance. 

The girls nodded happily, just excited to have hitched a ride at all. “You sound like Steve.” El quipped, earning a laugh from the redhead.

It would be nice to do some window-shopping, you thought, to take your mind off of things, if that was at all possible. You just wanted an answer—you wanted to be certain it was him, stop the spiral into thinking you might lose your best friend over some candy. 

Something came over you just inside the mall, right as El and Max were about to split off.

“Max,” You blurted, and she looked at you questioningly. “Weird… Um, weird question. Have you seen Eddie lately? Like, in our neighborhood?”

“No, don’t think so.” She shook her head, then narrowed her eyes at you. “Why?”

“No reason.”

You really were a terrible liar. “Is he ignoring you?”

“No! I mean… yes, but—no, I don’t think so?” You bit your lip. Jesus Christ, way to keep it cool. 

A maniacal grin spread across Max’s face, gesturing for El, who was preoccupied by a display, to come over. “We’re hitting Orange Julius first, and you—” She jabbed a finger into your chest. “—are telling us everything.”

For fuck’s sake.

Within ten minutes, the three of you were sitting at a table, sucking down your frozen drinks. You quietly hoped the brain freeze would give you a stroke.

“Spill.” Max commanded, both girls clearly excited for some gossip.

Before saying a word, you sat down your cup, extending both pinkies. “First of all, this stays between us, alright?”

They each hooked a pinky with their own, and you nodded, satisfied. So much for keeping your mind off of it. 

“Two days ago, someone left flowers on my doorstep. And I… I hope it was Eddie, because I might’ve left chocolates on his doorstep yesterday.”

Both girls squealed, clutching each other in excitement. “But, like, I don’t know if it was him, guys.” You were quick to subdue it, putting a hand out in front of you.

“It totally was!” El chirped, and Max nodded, joining in. “You guys are, like, idiots in love.”

“We are not!” The blush on your cheeks told a much different story. “Okay, whatever. Four people have now told me it’s definitely him, so guess I have my answer.”

“You already knew the answer.” Max rolled her eyes, rising from her seat with El. “Now, go get him something nice, and we’ll meet you back here in an hour and a half.”

The two girls skipped away. You took a dramatic slurp of your Orange Julius. 

Fine, you decided, less stressing, more shopping. You couldn’t take back the chocolates, so there was no point in worrying about it—que sera, sera, or however that goes.

You roamed the mall for about forty-five minutes, making pit stops at your favorite places; you bumped into the girls at Afterthoughts, where they were taking a decision on friendship bracelets very seriously. You stopped into Spencer’s, a favorite of yours for band tees and silly knick knacks—you almost got something for Eddie there, but lava lamps and mugs didn’t seem meaningful enough.

Deciding you’d figure it out later, you began making your way back to the meeting point. A display, from out of the corner of your eye, stopped you in your tracks. 

You stared at it, eyes slightly glazed over. It felt insane that you were even considering it.

It felt even more insane when your feet developed a mind of your own, carrying you into the store, and back out with a small bag—which you promptly shoved in your purse. 

“Do my eyes deceive me? You guys are here early?” You teased, approaching Max and El at the table from earlier. They were each carrying a few bags.

“We work fast,” El smiled, scanning you. “Did you get something for Eddie?”

“No, but I will, don’t worry.” You lied, knowing if you didn’t, they’d pester you until you showed them. “Ready to head out?”

The three of you made your way back to the car. After dropping El off at Hop’s, you headed back to Forest Hills with Max. She rested her feet on the dash. 

The ride was quiet—probably due to the fact that your mind was anything but. The gift you’d picked up for Eddie was… ballsy, to say the least. You blamed your friends for these bouts of fleeting confidence, which ultimately ended in wanting to bang your head against a wall. 

You parked at your place. Max hopped out, bags in tow, and made off toward her trailer.

“Thanks again,” She shouted, then gave a little nod towards your front door. “Looks like you got another delivery.”

Your head whipped toward the doorstep, approaching it with an embarrassing amount of haste. There was another delivery. 

A copy of Flashdance. Your knees wavered.

Now you were certain it was Eddie; the first time you’d watched it together, you made him swear he wouldn’t tell anyone how much you loved it. Cheesy, romantic, dance films didn’t exactly fit your tough-girl image. 

As giddy and lightheaded as you felt right now, maybe they were starting to. 

Of course, there was a note attached. You grabbed it, eyes widening when it didn’t just say your name.

Will I be seeing you on the 14th?

No name, no signature. What a little shithead, you thought, cheeks sore from smiling so hard. You pressed both the tape and note into your chest, exhaling a shaky breath.

It was real now. Whatever part of you that still doubted Eddie’s feelings had vanished—and it left behind a mess of excitement, nerves, and anticipation.

You glanced down at your purse, having almost forgotten about what you bought. Your stomach flipped in anxiety.

One more gift.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 13th, 1986

Eddie missed you. Like, missed the hell out of you—which was embarrassing, considering it had been less than a week since you last hung out.

Despite being adamant he couldn’t give out anymore free rentals, Steve had scored him the copy of Flashdance. He was really just proud that Eddie hadn’t completely chickened out yet.  Quite frankly, so was Eddie.

Though, that note he’d left at your door got him pretty close to it.

What if you said no? Even worse, what if you said yes, somehow under the impression that this was some lighthearted, best friend thing? Eddie didn’t think you were that oblivious, but the worst case scenario was kind of his forté.

Dustin thumped him on the back of the head. “Stop thinking about it.”

“But I’m—”

“No, nope, zip.” The smaller boy closed his fingers in front of Eddie’s face. “You can think about it tomorrow, when she professes her undying love for you.”

Eddie glared at him. The audacity was outrageous. “What do you suggest I do, then?”

Dustin glanced around the trailer. He didn’t think he’d get this far.

“Um,” He scratched the back of his neck. “We can talk about Hellfire?”

Eddie groaned, leaning back into the couch. “Henderson, I love you, I really do—but for the first time in my life, I have more pressing things to think about than Dungeons and Dragons.”

Dustin didn’t take it personally. In fact, he understood. He’d been sent here by Steve to keep Eddie’s mind off of it, which was proving useless, so he caved.

“Alright, fine.” He sighed, taking a seat beside the long-haired boy. A loaded silence ensued.

Eventually, he looked at Eddie in earnest, the corners of his lips turning up. “You think she’s the one?”

Eddie studied him for a moment. He noted the sincerity in his expression. “Yeah.” He breathed, nodding softly. “I mean, shit, yeah, I really do.”

“I think she is too, man.” Dustin grinned, in the comforting way that was uniquely his. “I mean, your one, not my one.”

Eddie chuckled at that. He might’ve been the luckiest guy in Hawkins to have such great friends—even if some of them were fifteen years old. If he had you, too, he’d be some sort of walking miracle. 

“Let’s just hope—”

Knock, knock, knock. Eddie’s sentence stopped in its tracks. The two of them locked wide eyes, and Dustin broke out beaming like a schoolboy.

“Holy shit,” He giggled, watching as Eddie approached the front door slowly. “She has, like, superhuman instincts or something.”

“Shush.”

Eddie’s hand gripped the handle, overcome by a wave of anticipation. Just beyond the worn wood, he’d find the answer to his question—a question which meant so much more than its face value.

Will I be seeing you on the 14th? Am I crazy for thinking I might? Do you want me how I’ve always wanted you?

He pulled the door open, eyes already trained to the ground. There laid a small piece of paper, liable to be blown away at any moment—he picked it up, hand shaking, heartbeat in his ears.

My place, tomorrow, 8pm. Last gift is here.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 14th, 1986

It was 7:45pm. You sat on your couch, leg bouncing, the faint sound of crickets penetrating your walls.

It was silly, really, to be so nervous—it was Eddie. You knew Eddie like the back of your hand.

His favorite songs, the way he’d fidget with his rings when he was nervous, the little noises he made in his sleep. You could almost smell his signature cologne, musky and warm, like a campfire at midnight. 

There were things you didn’t know.

You didn’t know the way his lips felt against yours. You’d long wondered whether he was a gentle or fiery lover; as much as you knew him, you still couldn’t tell.

Eddie, who’d once tended to a wound on your knee with delicate hands, wincing in sympathy whenever you did. Eddie, who was a passionate performer, owning every square inch of the stage with confidence. 

A knock at the door took the wind out of you. 

You stood up abruptly, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles in your sweater, your skirt. You cursed yourself for not putting on some music, now acutely aware of the silence.

It was too late now. Fuck.

It was so much easier when it was flowers, movies, or flirty little notes on the other side of the door. You wondered if Eddie felt the same—terrified to knock and stay put, not scurry off and hide.

You clutched the doorknob, opening it slowly. Your eyes found each others’ in an instant.

He had on his leather jacket, typically reserved for shows, and a Judas Priest t-shirt. Like always, his knees showed through the holes in his jeans—a chain clipped to the belt loops. 

He was perfect. And even so, he looked nervous.

“Hey.” You said softly, like a deer in headlights.

He twisted one of his rings, eyes glued to yours. “Hi.”

It was so strange, you thought, how effortless it was before; a few innocent gifts had so drastically changed the air around you both. Some scrawled out notes brought a sea of unspoken feelings to the surface.

Instinctively, your arms reached out, pulling him into your home with a lingering hug. Despite being the root of your current anxiety, you craved his comfort.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” He breathed, like feeling you in his arms was a relief. Your face was buried in his shirt, taking in the scent. Like a campfire at midnight. 

After a long moment, you leaned back to look at him, his hand cradling the back of your head. You could feel his breath ghosting against your lips, chests rising and falling together.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie whispered, heartbeat drumming against you. 

Your limbs were numb. “Please.”

So, he did.

Every insecurity you had became ridiculously insignificant. The lack of music, the wrinkles in your clothes, the smudge in your eyeliner—they were like specks of dust on the Mona Lisa, because Eddie was fucking kissing you, and it felt like clicking the last piece into a ten-thousand piece puzzle.

He held you as if you were made of glass, gentle enough to bring tears to your eyes.

You finally parted, breathless, foreheads resting together. “Eds,” You murmured, hands beginning to wander, skimming over his shoulders, his chest. “I… I want to…”

“Me too.” He replied with a shaky breath, not needing you to finish the thought. “Promise me you’re sure. I’ll… shit, I’ll never forgive myself if I fuck this up.”

You won’t. You can’t. You never could.

“I’m sure.” You croaked, hands finally finding themselves in his curls. “I’ve been sure, Eds, for a year, since the moment I met y—”

He pressed his lips to yours, a different sort of passion within it. It was feverish, needy, tongues and teeth bumping into each other messily; his hands traveled down to your thighs, lifting you, and you wrapped your legs around him.

You hardly felt yourself move before you were being laid down on the soft surface of your bed. Your fingers stripped him of his jacket, tossing it off to the side, then moved to the hem of his shirt, embarrassingly eager to feel his skin against yours. 

Eddie held himself up with a forearm beside your head, his other hand clutching at the sweater over your waist, finally finding the courage to lift it off of you. Underneath it, intricate black lace—a sheer one-piece that left nothing to the imagination. 

He stopped kissing you. Not on purpose, but out of pure astonishment, eyes trailing your torso. 

“Is this…”

“Your last gift?” Your chest was heaving now, Eddie’s eyes warming your skin, but you managed a shy smile. “Yeah, it is.”

He sat up, bringing both large hands to delicately span your ribcage. Jesus Christ, the way he was looking at you was the best kind of absurd—like you were expensive, unattainable.

You felt the cold metal of his rings through the thin fabric, and it made you keen inadvertently. His eyes immediately flicked up to your face.

“You’re gonna kill me.” He shook his head lightly, utterly awestruck. “Like, really, I might not make it out of here alive.”

You giggled, and the smile rubbed off on him. “I might not either,” You reached out, hands slipping beneath his shirt, traversing the bare skin underneath. He shivered at the feeling. “So, let’s die happy.”

That must’ve ignited something in him, because he squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of it, wasting no time in pulling his shirt over his head. You hardly had time to appreciate the sight before he was on you again.

He nipped at your jaw, your hands making quick work of the button on his jeans; at the same time, his fingers tucked themselves in the edge of your skirt, gliding it off of you.

You tangled your fingers in his curls, as if it was the only thing keeping you from floating away. Only a few thin layers were left separating you.

“So perfect,” Eddie’s hands came to your shoulders, oh-so softly hooking the straps of the lingerie, sliding them down your arms. His breath warmed your neck. “This is beautiful, but you…” 

Your mouth opened and closed again, too overwhelmed by the praise to speak. You felt him drag the fabric down, an agonizing pace, until you were entirely exposed.

“You are everything to me.” He whispered, and there was a vulnerability behind it that made your heart swell.

Your fingers slipped beneath the waistband of his boxers, and he gently clutched your wrist, stopping you. You made a small noise of protest. 

“Wait,” He murmured, pressing his lips to your neck, then your collarbone. His ringed fingers came up to cup one of your breasts, and your breath hitched when he kissed there, too. 

He continued downward, lips trailing your navel, pausing just above where you wanted him most. His dark eyes met yours, and Christ, he looked like an angel.

“Wanna take care of you.” He gripped your hips—not forcefully, but hard enough. “Can I?”

“Please.” You didn’t even know how he meant it. You didn’t care.

His hands found their way to the backs of your thighs, giving them a gentle push, putting your center on full display for him.

It had been so long since anyone had seen you like this, and now it was Eddie; as many times as you’d imagined this scenario, you never considered it could be a reality. You felt suddenly insecure.

His face couldn’t have told a more different story.

It was as if you’d bestowed God’s greatest gift upon him with your permission—you almost couldn’t be insecure. He was doe-eyed, slack jawed, a few stray curls hanging down in his face. Clearly the least of his concerns.

As you reached to brush them away, he leaned forward, softly swiping his tongue between your folds. It caught you off guard, back arching slightly. “Shit, Eds, yes.”

Your response was all he needed to continue, attaching his mouth to you again. You half expected it to be sloppy, fast, and eager; instead, he was methodical. His tongue circled your bud slowly, dipping down to your entrance every so often, wanting to taste everything you had to offer.

He was savoring every moment. And, fuck, you thought your soul might leave your body.

“G-God, shit,” You whined, no longer in control of what left your mouth. His hair was threaded in your knuckles, which you hadn’t even noticed until a particular swirl over your clit made you tug roughly on the strands—Eddie groaned against you, movements nearly faltering.

The vibrations were almost too much, let alone the fact that he liked his hair being pulled. You felt a finger tease your entrance, eliciting a gasp among your many moans, and it didn’t take long for him to sink it into you.

“Eddie,” It came out like a weak warning. The coldness of the ring on his knuckle met your most sensitive area, and you were gone. “Oh, fuck, Eddie, m’gonna—”

He curled it inside you and whimpered, sending your body alight.

You came as if you never had before. The combination of his mouth, his finger, the sounds he was making, his goddamn ring—it was euphoric, unlike anything you’d ever experienced, rendering you a babbling mess. 

He slowed down as you did, reading your body as if it were his favorite book. You thought he must’ve somehow read it a dozen times already. 

Appearing at your level again, Eddie caught his breath alongside you, his voice as soft as silk. “Was that… good?”

And for fuck’s sake, he was asking in earnest, like he really didn’t know whether he’d done well.

You huffed out an incredulous laugh, and it brought a smile to his face. Your hands came up to cradle his cheeks. “The best I’ve ever had, Eds.”

That did something to him—his eyelids fluttered shut, brow furrowing. It turned him on to hear he’d satisfied you. Which, in turn, made the ache between your legs apparent again. 

When you began to tug on the waistband of his boxers for a second time, he made no effort to stop you.

“Need you inside me,” It was more of a beg than a demand, barely audible, against his lips. 

Finally, every piece of clothing had been discarded. Feeling him rest against your core, heavy and throbbing, made you tremble. He was already on the brink of losing his composure. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” He brushed the hair from your eyes, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Always. Gonna go slow, okay?”

Your heart turned inside your chest. Eddie knew it had been a while since you’d done this. You knew it has been awhile since he’d done this, too—and yet he pushed the nervousness aside, determined to be a rock for your comfort. 

You nodded, nosing against his cheek, feeling safer than you ever had before.

He lined himself up with you, pushing forward gently, tip breaching your wetness. It made your jaw fall open; the stretch was good, not painful, but you still needed the time to adjust.

He reacted similarly, his mouth open slightly, the muscles in his abdomen tensing. At the same time, his eyes scanned your face for any sign of discomfort.

When he was fully seated within you, you were already panting into each other's mouths. It felt like you were complete, not only physically, but emotionally—and you knew he felt it, too, though it remained unspoken. 

“Okay?” He whispered, dark orbs boring into your own.

Your body was covered in goosebumps. “Yes.”

He started to move, languidly pulling his hips back, pressing them into your own. You were desperate for each other, to feel each other; your passion didn’t choose to manifest in a rough, frenzied manner. Both of you needed to relish in every movement, every touch, every sound. 

It was overwhelmingly intimate.

His left hand found your own, lacing your fingers together, pressing it into the mattress beside your head. The other cupped your face, thumb resting on your bottom lip. 

You breathed out each other’s names, eyes locked. He was reaching the depths of you, brushing your sweet spot with every slow thrust, and it made a knot begin to form in your stomach. 

Your free hand found his hair, gripping it again, and he shuddered out a beautiful noise. “Baby,” He keened, and his hand left your face to hold your hip, pulling out farther, rolling in deeper.

“Me too.” You croaked. It was like you shared one mind, one body, no longer needing to say what it was you felt. You just knew. 

The air thickened around you, breaths becoming shorter, grips becoming tighter. A sheen of sweat covered both of your skin, fast approaching your climaxes.

“Eddie, I—” You were swept away, mind trying to force the words out, pleasure making it difficult. “I… I—”

“Tell me, baby.” He rasped, full of longing, like he hoped he already knew.

“—I love you,” It came out like a soft sob, every muscle in your body contracting.

He lost himself at that. A symphony of noises filled the small room, and you clung to him with everything you had, mind buzzing, body writhing instinctually. It was a feeling that deserved to be bottled, placed in a museum—complete and utter fulfillment, in every possible way. 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you laid there, heartbeats drumming against each other, trying to come back to earth. It could’ve been a minute, an hour.

Eventually, and probably for the best, your minds wandered back to you. Eddie gently backed away, just enough to pull out of you, and quickly enveloped you in his arms again. 

His chin rested on your shoulder, chest pressed to your back, both of you blissed out and fuzzy.

“By the way,” He spoke softly, arms tightening around your waist. “I love you, too. I should’ve said it earlier, but I was a little busy losing my absolute shit.”

You broke out into a laugh, the contradiction between his words and the current situation tickling you. He grinned widely into the skin of your neck. 

“Who wrote that note?” You turned towards him, mind running over the events of the last few days. “The first one, with my name. I didn’t believe Rob and Nance when they said it was you—the handwriting was too nice.”

His hand came up, stroking your hair lovingly. “Steve has girly handwriting. Usually I make fun of him for it, but it got me here, so maybe I’ll stop.”

You giggled at that, and jeez, you were sure the two of you looked like idiots in love right now—faces inches apart, delicate touches wherever you could reach, absolutely beaming. 

“For the record, I didn’t believe them either.” Eddie’s eyes explored your face. “Harrington, Henderson. I thought they were batshit, saying you were in love with me.”

You inched even closer to him. “Maybe we should start listening to our friends.”

“Let’s not be rash.” He joked, and you playfully pushed his chest. “But, yeah. They were right this time.”

There were a few moments of silence, the two of you taking each other in, biting back smiles. 

“I love you.” You said quickly, giddily. 

Eddie’s finger brushed your nose. “I love more.”

“See, that would be the case,” You began, faux seriousness painting your expression. “If I didn’t love you most.” 

He wagged a finger in your face, leaning in to pepper you with kisses, and continue waging a war that would never end. 

At the end of the day, three things were certain.

Firstly, you loved Eddie.

Secondly, Eddie loved you.

Thirdly, your friends were definitely going to regret encouraging you to tell each other those two things.

[mrsjellymunson]

What's His Name Again?

Written for the @steddiemicrofic December prompt ‘pine’ | Rating: T | WC: 508 | CW: Modern AU, fluff, flirting (mild), swearing, inaccurate depiction of a movie’s release date (bc I just had to make this festive) | Tags: Love confession (sort of), Steve’s bi awakening, getting together. A/N: Massive thanks to @steddieas-shegoes and @wynnyfryd for organising these challenges. I learn and/or experience something new every time, from both taking part and reading. Also, apologies if this is stretching the prompt too far 😆

“Thanks for coming with me, dude. I know it’s not really your thing.”

“No problem, man. I know how desperate you are to see it. The kids can’t skip school to see the first showing, and I couldn’t let you come alone like some kind of loser.”

Steve gives Eddie a wry smile. He retrieves their popcorn and they shuffle into the padded seats at the back of the theatre.

“What else has he been in?”

“I told you. The new Star Trek movies, Wonder Woman, some thriller, I forget the name. You’ll recognise him, I swear.”

“It’s a real treat for you, huh? An actor you like, in a film about D&D?”

“Yeah, it’s niche, but I’m definitely not complaining.”

Eddie gives Steve a little smile.

Wait, is he nervous?

Steve says the name in his head again. It’s still not familiar.

“So what is it about this Chris Pine guy that you like so much?”, nudging Eddie’s elbow.

Even in the dim lighting, Steve spots his pinkening cheeks.

“Weeeelll, he usually plays the good guy, but he can play darker too. He’s got cute hair, a super-buff bod, intense eyes. Jesus, those fuckin’ eyes…”

Eddie’s voice trails off, cracking slightly.

Steve looks sideways, and sees that Eddie isn’t looking at the screen. He’s looking straight at Steve.

Oh.

Steve swallows, shifts in his seat. Tries not to make it obvious that he’s hiding the appearance of an unexpected semi.

OH.

They watch the movie mostly in silence, apart from Steve occasionally gaining clarification on D&D-related plot points and them both whooping and groaning at appropriate junctures.

Steve enjoys it more than he thought he would, admitting,

“That Chris guy is pretty good. I can see why you… like him.”

Eddie coughs.

“Yeah, he’s a pretty good actor, if, y’know, that’s your thing.”

Do it, Steve, just fucking do it.

“It’s still early, do you maybe wanna do something else before the kids get out of school?”

Eddie replies enthusiastically, “Sure!” Adding, more nonchalantly, ”I mean, sure, if you wanted to. Like what?”

“We could go back to your place? You could educate me on the finer points of D&D lore?”

A year later, Steve and Eddie are setting up a tree, celebrating their first Christmas in their new apartment.

The kids are coming over for a festive get-together. Dustin’s the first to arrive, brandishing a small package.

Eddie admonishes, “Hey, we said no presents!”

“I don't care. This is special.”

Steve tears the wrapping, revealing a DVD of ‘Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves’.

“Dustin, how did you know?”

“Dude, it was all over the pair of you as soon as you’d seen it! Since Chris Pine is basically your Cupid, we figured you might like to watch it on your anniversary.”

Eddie grabs the DVD, flings it to the sofa, and bundles his boyfriend into a loose hug.

“Don’t need it, I’ve got my very own Chris Pine right here. Cute hair, super-buff bod, intense eyes.”

He stares deeply into Steve’s.

“Jesus, those fuckin’ eyes…”

Thanks for reading! Please consider commenting on and/or reblogging stuff you like, it really does make Tumblr spin.

[milliedazzledust]

Somewhere Only We Know (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Request: @the-craziestone story about Bucky x Reader, where Bucky is really obsessed with Reader - But not in a creepy way, more like he's really really in love with her and he can only see her, like she's his world Anon: can you do something with reader gifting Bucky Barnes the 3 Lord of the Rings books? They were published after WWII, and reader knows he liked The Hobbit so she thinks it's something he'd like

Words: 2943

A/N: this is pure fluff with no warning, also I changed a tiny bit the second request to fit the story - enjoy ;)

He couldn’t explain the sadness he constantly felt every time he was walking through the streets of the city he used to know by heart. A stranger in a strange land was the best way to describe him. More than seventy years had passed, and he hadn’t witnessed any changes. While he had been a puppet deprived of freewill and controlled with the sole purpose of killing, he had missed the birth of a whole new world. Now, as he strode around the streets, he could easily remember each of their names, but none of them were familiar. His mind remained in the 1940’s and in the middle of the noises, surrounded by the sound of first responders vehicles, the children running around and cars piling up on the road, he was a stranger in his own home. It was an unsettling feeling, a pining melancholy that reminded him in every step he made that his Brooklyn didn’t exist anymore. 

He was furious in a way, but mostly confused. Haunted by memories he had gotten back a second ago, and they didn’t fit this new reality. He wasn’t even nostalgic, but the loneliness was getting heavier every day. He could still picture the park he used to take his sister, the alley where Steve had gotten beaten up one day, the bakery his mother used to go to every morning. Treasure of souvenirs he would keep forever. And although the park, the alley and the streets names were still here, he was left alone walking down Brooklyn. 

“Hey, Y/N!” He heard a voice shouting. “Where do I put those ?” 

His head mechanically turned to a young boy carrying a heavy box of what looked like antics. Without thinking he crossed the road and when his eyes laid on the small shop, he gasped. There it was, one small piece of his past still here. It was an old bookstore he used to go to with his sister. The man, a friend, an immigrant from France with a thick accent, would let them stay for hours. Bucky loved reading to Rebecca. They would sit inside and she’d insist to hear The Hobbit. François, the man owning the store, would make coffee and stay with them, relating the stories he had heard around the world, telling them all about the France he had known. It was all still here. ‘Au Nom de la Rose’ was still here. 

He didn’t hesitate a second and rushed inside the place, an honest smile on his face. His eyes roamed over the room and he took a deep breath. It was just like he remembered, a place filled with murmurs and whispers floating above his head and through the roof, indistinct conversations between friends, huge windows bringing in a powerful light at this hour of the day, plants in almost every corner. Even the atmosphere was the same, this powerful smell of imagination coming from the laying books on the shelves, begging to be read, mixing with a distinct smell coming from the dust. The small couch and the old table he used to sit by with his sister were also there. The wooden pieces had many rough and sharp edges but looked just as smooth and clean as he remembered. Finally, his eyes landed on a woman there. He watched her rearranging a bouquet of daffodils, breathing in the perfume of the vibrant flowers as she tended to them meticulously. 

For some reason, he couldn’t look away. She felt familiar, like he had known her all his life, yet he had never seen her before. When she turned around he took an instinctive step toward her. She noticed, raised her head and that was the moment their eyes met. His breath caught in his throat when she smiled at him. He stood, frozen on the spot, staring at her. He couldn’t comprehend that instant connection. There was an inexplicable sense of excitement yet weird feeling that they had known each other forever, that they were meeting each other again after a long journey. He was transfixed, almost stuck by the confusing mixture of emotions but oddly comforted by them - all at the same time. 

“Can I help you ?” She asked him.

He surprised himself thinking there was something eerily calming about her voice, that he could listen to her for hours.

“Do I know you ?” He quickly wondered out loud, mentally facepalming himself for his lack of tact. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking that question ?”

“Why ?”

“You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes” She grinned.

“I’m … I’m sorry” He apologized profusely. “I didn’t mean to…” 

“Look weird ?” 

He could swear his heart skipped a beat when he heard her laugh.

“This place is beautiful”

“Thank you” 

“How long have you been working here ?”

“Forever” She smirked. “The store belongs to my family. Passed on from generation to generation” 

Bucky raised an eyebrow, surprised.

“You’re related to François Y/L/N ?” He questioned.

She tilted her head, crossing her arms.

“Now I’m intrigued” She told him. “How do you know about my grandfather ?” 

“We’ve met,” He answered without thinking. He rapidly realized his mistake when she narrowed her eyes in utter curiosity. “I … I didn’t mean … I mean … It was … It was a long time ago”

He gulped, hoping she wouldn’t push it. She looked him up and down, assessing him. 

“What’s your name, weirdo ?” She inquired, giving him a skeptical glance.

“Bucky. M’am” 

She smirked.

“Let me guess, a soldier ?” 

“How … ?” 

“You all have the same manners, and the same eyes”

“What do you mean ?”

She was now standing in front of him, staring at his face with the most adorable smile he had ever seen.

“You carry the same sadness and the horror you’ve seen” She replied honestly. “My father was a lot like that too” 

Her answer had the effect of a punch in the gut he hadn’t been expecting. He felt naked under her gaze, a stranger with the power to see through his soul.

“I’m Y/N” She introduced herself, raising her hand to shake his.

It was rare for him to smile truthfully but the unexpected bliss slowly growing made his lips twitch before he could even acknowledge it.

“Hi, Y/N” He greeted her.

She chuckled, amused. 

“Hi, Bucky” She murmured. 

After that encounter, he made a point of coming back as much as he could. He stayed for hours sitting on the couch, reading the same book over and over again. They shared quick words but he didn’t dare to start up a conversation, too afraid he would say something he shouldn’t, something that would scare her away. He was content like this. There was no Winter Soldier, no war, no fight, no one else than Bucky. Being next to this girl was in itself a medication for him. It made no sense but she was so bright and radiant. Like a magnet, he was sucked into an invisible gravitational pull toward her.

By the second week of him coming into the store, she started to notice the small marks of attention. He would come so silently she wouldn’t hear a thing, bringing a fresh cup of coffee he would lay on her counter when she wasn’t looking, replacing the daffodils before they could fade, carrying the heavy boxes filled with new books. When she wasn’t working, she would grab something to read and sit next to him. They would exchange a smile but wouldn’t talk. The proximity was enough. Their presence was louder than any word. A quiet routine they were slowly creating. 

By the fourth month, nothing had changed and that day was no different. Rain was pouring outside and the store was empty, except for Y/N and Bucky. Just as usual, he was reading in a corner while she was working. New stacks of books had arrived and she was methodically putting them on the shelves. Standing on a ladder, on the tip of her toes, she was so focused on the task she had failed to notice the soldier walking up to her. 

“Do you need any help ?” He offered. 

Surprised to hear his voice so close to her, she lost her balance and slipped. She yelped as her ankle hit one side of the ladder and automatically closed her eyes, anticipating the fall. She tried to brace herself but before her body could touch the ground she felt something cold holding her waist. Suddenly, instead of laying on the floor, she was against his hard chest, in a protective embrace. She recognized his arms around her and shivered at the odd coldness. He  felt it immediately and was quick to put some distance between them, making sure his metal arm was no more on her body and only his human hand was steadying her. 

“Are you alright ?” He questioned. She pursed her lips, trying not to show that she was hurt when she heard how worried he sounded. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’m fine”

He looked skeptic but didn’t say anything about it.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” He apologetically told her.

He took the books scattered on the ground, putting them away, and helped her walk to the couch.

“You know, if the goal was to literally make me fall for you, I’d say you did a pretty good job there” She flirted, making him chuckle. 

He sat on the table in front of her and grabbed her calve, gently laying her leg on his thigh to assess the damage. From the corner of his eyes, he could see her blushing. It made him insanely happy to know he wasn’t the only one affected by their closeness. They tried not to look at one another, too embarrassed by the situation. This was the closest they had ever been and the touch on his skin on hers was more than enough to make her heart ready to jump out of her chest. When he clasped her injured ankle, she cried and instinctively pushed him back. 

“Fine, huh ?” He repeated her own words with a smirk.

She huffed and rolled her eyes.

“It’s not a big deal, Bucky” She reassured him. “I’ve got to get back to work”

“You’re not moving from this couch” He ordered.

“Is that an order, soldier ?” She ironically threw at him, crossing her arms in annoyance.

“You bet it is”

She watched him, intrigued, as he stood up and piled up some books on the table to put her ankle to rest on it. 

“No moving around, got it ?” He made sure she would follow his advice.

“Aye, aye, Captain”

He chuckled 

“Technically speaking, I’m not a Captain” He confessed as he continued what she had been doing earlier and started putting the books carefully on the right shelves. 

“Would you have preferred Sergeant ?” She replied, bitting her lips, unsure this was the wrong moment to admit she knew who he was.

He instantly stopped what he was doing and slowly turned around to stare at her.

“What did you say ?” He asked, more scared than ever.

Up until that moment, he had avoided telling her who he was. Becoming part of the Avengers meant his identity wasn’t a secret anymore, and although he had done a terrific job staying hidden among the mass of people, it wouldn’t have taken more than a little push to find who he really was. He stood in front of her, frozen, not having a clue how to react.

“Sergeant Barnes, isn’t it ?” She sounded nervous, almost frightened to say his name out loud.

“I… “ He tried to say anything, but as the rain kept pouring outside, slowly turning into a thunderstorm, he blankly stared back.

“Would you have told me ?” She whispered.

“Eventually”

She humorlessly snorted. 

“We’ve known each other for more than three months, Bucky. I see you practically every day. Be honest, eventually would’ve never come” 

“It’s not like that” He tried to explain.

“I’m not mad, don’t worry” She sadly smiled. “I just wish… I guess I wish you could’ve trust me” 

He rubbed his jaw in frustration and made a step toward her. Without breaking his gaze, he slowly took the glove off, revealing his metal hand. Still, he didn’t look at her, too afraid of her reaction. The cold metal had never felt so hot against his skin, a burning reminder of the stranger he had become.

“I didn’t want you to be scared,” He admitted in a broken voice. 

“Of you ?” She was surprised. “Why would I be ?”

“I’m not a good man, Y/N”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that ?” 

“You don’t understand…”

“The red box under the counter” She interrupted him. “Can you take it for me ? And turn the sign of the shop, we’re closed.”

He gave her a puzzled look, but did as she said anyway. He locked the front door and took the box she asked for before walking to her and putting it directly in her hands.

“Sit” She instructed him.

He didn’t dare to stay near her and chose to stay on an opposite chair.

“I found this a little after you and I met” She told him, motioning to the box. “It was in the basement, hidden under old junks my parents had kept over the years”

He let her speak, not understanding where this was going or why she was telling him about that. She slowly opened the mystery box and took a small envelope out of it. It looked old, so old the paper had turned into a deep shade of yellow.

“My grandfather wrote this” She confessed. “In 1957. It’s addressed to Bucky and Rebecca Barnes. I believe it belongs to you” 

She handed him the letter that he took with shaky hands.

“How did you… ?” He started to ask.

“It was a long shot,” She explained. “The first time you were here, you said my grandfather's name like it meant something to you. Like you really knew him. When I found the box, and the envelope, I didn’t make the connection with you right away. But your name was all I needed to start my research. My parents kept pretty much everything so it didn’t took me too long to find an old photo with you and him, back in the 1930′s” 

He wasn’t moving at all when she showed him a picture François had taken of them right before he was enlisted. 

“I wanted to wait for the right time to tell you, I guess. I mean, you have enough ghosts as it is”

“Still not scared ?” He inquired in a humorless chuckle.

“Not one bit” She didn’t hesitate to reply.

She softly smiled and motioned for him to come closer. When he sat next to her, she moved the box from her lap to his. 

“We were friends, François and I” He recalled, his eyes glued on the letter. “He was married to Eloise. This bookstore was their treasure. He kept repeating that I shouldn’t go to war when I could stay hidden under the pages of books that would take me around the world without risking my life”

She took his metal palm between her fingers when she heard his voice breaking. He almost tried to remove it but she tightly entwined their hands together.

“Maybe he was right” He muttered under his breath.

“Or maybe you and I were meant to meet almost a century later” She shrugged.

He snorted before turning around the envelope to open it. Y/N gently laid her head against his shoulder and let him read in silence. She didn’t move when she felt his body shaking with tears but only held his hand harder.

“They’re originals, from 1954 I think. He kept them for you” She told him as he slowly took what was in the red box. A set of three old books. “Why Lord of the Rings, though ?” 

He laughed,sniffing, before brushing the tears off his face and staring down at the woman. At that very moment, he felt like the journey was done. His soul had stopped the search it had been on for a time that felt like forever. Like a century. 

“My sister and I, we used to come here often,” He said in a melancholic grin. Sorrow was finally starting to be replace by something much better, happiness. “We would sit on this very couch and she would make me read the Hobbit. She used to love that story so much.”

“How many times has she make you read it ?” The woman smirked.

“Enough to remember every single word” He exaggerated, making her giggle. “When I told François I was leaving, he said he would send me books to help me travel away from the war, even just for a moment. I guess he kept them, hoping I would come back. Even after I was declared dead” 

“Maybe deep down he knew you weren’t”

“And he planned this whole meeting with his granddaughter ?” He ironically added.

“Oh no, that was beyond him. That was fate, Barnes”

“I was meant to find you” He agreed, a deep feeling of love and utter contentment forming in his heart. He bent his head down and let all he needed to say be spoken through the kiss they shared. 

“Will you read it to me ?” She playfully requested.

Overflowed with joy, he smirked and kissed her forehead before opening the old book on his lap. There it was, the only choice he needed to make. The only home he had yearn to create. Her. 

[jortsaaaaaaart]

To Be Forgotten Amongst Friends chp1

Omega! Reader x avengers

Hello all! I revamped my story "ikaros" and this is the new story! Also the name is long rip.

Trigger warnings (later chapters mostly)- ptsd, noncon, kidnapping, human experimentation, Stockholm and lima syndrome

The following chapters will be posted on- https://archiveofourown.org/works/33890977     (seriously- may not post here that often cause i hate the tagging system- go check out ao3)

It's a beautiful day in New York and you're a terrible, no good, thief. 

You were considered New York’s very own Robin Hood. Two hundred ATM robberies in two years, the money flying out of the machines and into the hands of people who needed it. The banks, collectively, had lost over $300,000 from the ATMs alone. But of course, it wasn't just the ATMs. A rash of robberies had spread over the East coast. Most were digital, companies funneling their own money to offshore accounts that wanted nothing to do with U.S. intervention. The FBI were notified, then the CIA, and eventually- after a daring cyber attack against the DOD- SHIELD itself turned it's one eyed gaze onto you.

Nick Fury saw something the other agencies didn't. You had certain gifts that made your line of work incredibly easy. Whether they were natural mutations or some sort of superpower, they allowed you to break into some of the most secure networks known to man. He had almost found you when SHIELD fell and his resources vanished. After the dust cleared he was forced to start from scratch. Hunting you and the remnants of Hydra down at the same time wasn't easy, but, in a strange twist of fate, he found someone else that was searching for you too.

+++

New York was filled with so many people. Most of them were good, in your opinion. (Well, maybe half, actually.) You spent most of your off time working on "projects" or walking around the city. You had become a fixture at the local Bodega. Single omegas were extremely  rare, marked single omegas were almost unheard of. The mark gave you certain freedoms other omegas, sadly, didn't have. It drove away most potential suitors and the ones who were particularly bold would be given a taste of your powers. Once the burrow had gotten used to your presence they saw you as a generous person, but a secretive one. Someone who took no shit even with their designation. You gave to the community and different Omega rights groups in the area. After years of watching you quietly go about helping people you had been welcomed into the burrow's heart with open arms.

You loved helping people in your own way. You loved it just as much as you hated corporations and the police, but when you could make an ATM spew it's contents out into the poorest streets of Brooklyn or make Fox News send a million dollars to Planned Parenthood, you could have the best of both worlds.

At least, for a time. All good things had to end, right? That's what you told yourself as the redhead picked her way through the crowd towards you. 

Seeing an avenger in your neighborhood was an odd occurrence. It was a poorer part of town, untouched in the battle of New York, and too out of the way for any super villain origin stories. In fact, you seemed to be the only mutant in the entire block. You'd always thought, if someone was going to come for you, it would be a couple of FBI agents and not the fucking Black Widow. Your brain and heart went into overdrive as you tried to remember doing anything worth the avenger's time. But there was nothing. The DOD hack had been almost a year ago and all you did was release government files showing attacks on civilians overseas. It hardly seemed like an avengers worthy crime, especially when Black Widow herself had leaked government secrets before.

Any hope of her not not looking for you was dashed when her eyes locked onto yours. She tilted her head, asking a silent question. 

The burst of adrenaline sent you careening through the lunchtime crowds. You couldn't feel anyone on the rooftops but there was a large form blocking your path, trying to box you in. They were stronger and faster but you knew the environment. You ducked into Charlie's, your sneakers skidding on the asphalt as you took the sharp turn. The person behind the counter lazily looked up as you walked to the back. They knew you well enough to not care, they also weren't paid enough to care. The alley would open up into a busy side street. More people meant a better chance to blend in and get away. You were almost to the end when the door opened behind you. Black Widow and fucking Captain America stepped into the alley. For a moment the three of you stood in something akin to a standoff. 

You felt wildly undressed for this life-threatening situation.

"We just want to talk, (Y/N)" Captain America told you, hands raised. The unmistakable stink of an alpha radiated from the captain. You were momentarily thankful for your mark dulling its effect on you. Though, the blonde's scent was tinged with something hauntingly familiar. Something you didn't want to recognize.

Behind him, Black widow's free hand went to her ear. "Target is in the alley between 31st and 32nd," A twitch of your finger and the line went dead. Her hand dropped to the gun at her hip.

"I'm feeling pretty under equipped for this 'conversation'," You replied, slowly raising your hands as well, wondering if they could feel what you were doing. They didn't react and you slowly let your power seep from you.

Natasha was the first to react, drawing her gun and spinning around. Steve looked at her with confusion as her wide eyes scanned the alley as if she was seeing ghosts. She was afraid he realized, a cold feeling settling in his stomach. He moved towards her and you took off running. You felt him hesitate then take off after you, gaining on you with an embarrassingly low number of strides. You tried your powers again, stronger this time, but his focus was unwavering. He was almost to you now and you were running out of options. That’s when the alpha in him came out.

“Omega!” He snarled, “Stop!” Your feet slowed down immediately. It wasn’t as strong as your own alpha’s command would be, but the super soldier certainly commanded respect and obedience. You were forced to stand still, eyes burning holes in the asphalt, as the alpha’s footsteps grew closer. You really didn't want to do this but it looked like you had no choice. Your jaw clenched, and you spun around when his hand grabbed your arm. The blonde's eyes widened as you placed a palm to his chest. 

He barely had time to glance down at your hand before the electricity hit him.

The 1,000 volts you sent into him were supposed to stun him or send him flying, allowing you to escape. However, his muscles spasmed just a bit stronger than you intended. In an instant his grip crushed the bones in your arm and sent the two of you careening backwards into a brick wall. Natasha would find you a moment later, passed out on top of the super soldier, a sizable hole in the wall.

You woke up in an unfamiliar bed, a few blurry white shapes milled about in the corners of your vision. You couldn't remember how you got here, or where here was. All your senses seemed to be dulled. Your wrist was throbbing and each time you opened your eyes the room came in and out of focus. You closed your eyes, opting to ignore the funhouse effect and focus on the sounds around you. The beeping of the monitors, footsteps on concrete, and two low voices.

"She's alright, Buck, I promise." Steve's voice wavered in and out of your consciousness bringing with it the memory of how you got into this bed. "She did something to Nat and ran before I could explain. I wasn't expecting her powers to be so strong."

"I should have come with you," Another voice snarled. Your heart skipped a beat at the low growl. You knew that voice. It evoked a sickening combination of need and terror and you couldn't remember why. "She wouldn't have gotten hurt if I had. What idiot doesn't know omegas are fragile?!"

"It was an accident!" His voice raised slightly before sighing. "I know you're worried, but she's fine."

The scent you had smelled on Steve earlier swirled around the room. Metal and burning pine, it affected you just like the voice had, triggering both panic and yearning. You knew it somehow. The memory was there somewhere, tucked away where it couldn’t hurt you. Where it should have been forgotten.

The scent grew unbearably strong as he leaned over you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. When he pulled back he wasn't expecting his eyes to catch yours. 

His expression softened as soon as he realized you were awake. "Omega," Bucky whispered reverently. Stormy blue eyes stared down at you with love and adoration, watching the color drain from your face. "Doll?" 

Somewhere in the back of your mind you could hear the panicked beeping of the machines and Steve trying to calm you down. But it didn't matter. All that you could feel was the need to get far, far, away from this man. You didn't know how you knew him but you knew he was dangerous. You knew he had hurt you. That's why, as he reached out to gently cup your face, you slapped his hand away. 

"Get away from me!" You gasped, voice breaking. You scooted back and tried to back up as far as possible. Your shaky legs barely held your weight as you slid off the bed. Pure terror coursed through your veins, it was the only thing keeping you on your feet. You found yourself pressed into the corner of the room while the men stared at you in shock. Steve and Bucky gaped like you had just told them the Germans had actually won WWII. Eyebrows knit together, blue eyes wide and frantic, Bucky looked like he was in emotional turmoil.

“(Y/N), doll, it’s okay. It’s me. It’s your alpha.” Bucky reached out to you carefully as a low purr rumbled from his chest.

You felt the purr relax you and dull your senses even more. It was nauseating. “I don’t have an alpha! And I don’t know who the hell you are!” You tried to shout and grit your teeth but the words came out in broken sobs, betraying your weakness. Who was this? Why was he the most terrifying thing you had ever seen?

Your teeth were bared at this point but the man kept coming towards you. The tunnel vision and rapid shallow breaths were the only warnings your body gave you as it reverted to its animalistic omega framework. Bucky watched as, in slow motion, your eyes went blank as your body gave out. 

+++

Your alpha held your body to his chest in disbelief. He had expected some shock at seeing him but this went far beyond his expectations. It had been over three years since he'd last seen you. Since he'd last been able to drink in your scent. He'd figured you might not recognize him at first. He had changed a lot over the years. No longer under Hydra's control his physical appearance, demeanor, and scent had changed. But your body should've known your alpha. 

"What was that?" Steve asked. "Why did she react like that when she has your mark?" The two alphas were on edge. Seeing a vulnerable omega drop triggered their protective instincts. Steve desperately wanted to take you and hold you close, ease you out of the drop. If the alpha holding you was anyone other than his closest friend and packmate he would have ripped you out of his grasp immediately. For now he'd have to hold himself back.

"She didn't remember me." Bucky nuzzled his head into your neck, nursing your mark softly. After a moment he pulled back and gazed at your unchanged features. He couldn't wake you from this drop that easily. He pressed in harder this time, teeth lining up with the scar perfectly, but there was still no change. No purr, command, or bite was waking you up.

"We should let her rest, Buck. The pain meds will wear off soon and we'll try again. . . Bring her to the den. She'll need to get used to everyone's scents sooner or later." Steve laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. It was a gentle but firm suggestion. He knew tensions were high, the den, with it's heavy curtains and plush blankets, would calm down his friend and the omega. With little argument the brunette lifted you up and carried you to the den. It was aptly named and extremely well constructed thanks to Stark. Curtains blocked off all light from the windows, mattresses were inlaid into the ground, and the temperature was always cool. It was one good thing about being in a pack with that narcissist, Bucky thought dryly.

Steve led them into a cozy corner of the room. The captain hummed happily as they moved the pillows and blankets, creating a makeshift nest for the three of them. The feeling of the omega pressing into his chest was addictive. He couldn't wait for you to remember your alpha.

The sooner you remembered your bond with Bucky the sooner the rest of the pack, Steve included, could court you.

[puppypeter]

✨ All fics are complete! ✨

He Loves Me Cause I’m Cute, He Thinks I’m Pretty Funny | 2588 words 📱

He watches it back one more time after it posts, checking for typos in his subtitles and captions, and has to laugh again.

Steve fucking Rogers? His brain thought he could pull Captain America, literal superhero and America’s favorite sweetheart?

“Hello I’m a 35 year old amputee living in New York and I think that I could get Steve Rogers.”

OR

the one where bucky posts a tiktok and steve is utterly smitten.

Summer Slipped Us Underneath Her Tongue | 10712 words 🧳

Bucky is a tour guide who enjoys sharing the rich history and culture of each city they pass through with a bunch of early-20's college students who just want to know the cheapest place to get drunk.

Except for Steve, who asks Bucky for a personal tour around his hometown.

The rest is, as they say, history.

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet | 3853 words 🧑🏼‍🍳

“I made soda bread.” Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.” The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

Ollie Meets Bagel | 5517 words 🥯

He was a skater boy, Steve said let's get bagels, boy.

Steve wants to start doing this twenty-first century thing properly. He gets help in the form of skateboarding, skateboarders, bagels, and Sam Wilson.

Taxi | 5113 words 🚕

Bucky Barnes was, he hoped, a good taxi driver.

He's so good, he actually tries to return lost property that ends up left in his car and... well. It has some unexpected consequences involving a National Icon.

Enough said.

Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

[yikesharringrove]

It’s a book Steve’s actually read.

Well, Nancy kinda mostly read it to him. Which really just makes the whole thing hurt a little bit more.

His speakers were crackling and he had turned the bass up high enough that the song was distorted, vibrating through his car.

It was embarrassing. Scream-singing to Kate Bush while sobbing into your steering wheel in the high school parking lot.

He’s just got a lot of feelings, and Nancy dumped in that alleyway, he can literally see it and Heathcliff, it’s me, I’m Cathy. I’ve come home, I’m so cold.

Which, it’s all just bullshit. Pardon the word.

Because, Catherine and Heathcliff don’t even fucking end up together. There’s something about family difference and he remembers Nancy saying socioeconomic like that word meant anything to him and Catherine winds up dead of bad brain-itis and Healthcliff is a dick so they never should’ve been together anyway.

But, whatever.

He’s feeling very much like Catherine right now. Standing on the moors with a broken heart.

Because fuck Heathcliff. And fuck Nancy.

Kate Bush is the only one he can trust anymore. 

Her and her red dress and Steve’s insides feel like that red fucking dress in a way he can’t explain and Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy. I've come home, I'm so cold. Let me in your window-

He just about jumped out of his skin when the passenger door opened.

One too-tan hand reached out to crank the volume down on the song, and a too-pink tongue slid across too-white teeth and

“Harrington, I’m obligated to tell you that you’re acting like a pussy.”

Hargrove.

Y’know, he’s the top of Steve’s Fuck List. Right there with Nancy and Heathcliff, and everyone else who sucks shit and makes people feel bad.

“Can it, dickhead.”

To be fair, Steve was ugly crying to Kate Bush by himself in his car, but he’s allowed to be a pussy by himself in his car.

Hargrove just gave Steve a look that Steve’s pretty sure meant I’m resisting the urge to punch you in the face right now, but was undercut by that stupid fucking tongue of his lolling around like some kinda hyper-sexual golden retriever.

Meanwhile, Kate Bush was still singing and Steve was still Cathy on the moors.

“I’m fucking sad, or whatever. Let me be a pussy.”

“Oh, come on, Harrington. You really this cut up about some prissy little princess? She’s not even the best this town has and that is saying something.”

“Y’know, for a guy that’s constantly calling all the girls in town ugly, you sure do fuck a lot of ‘em.”

“At least I’m getting some. When was the last time the princess put out, eh? Or was she savin’ it for marriage? I could see her bein’ one of those types.”

He said those types like he wasn’t wearing a saint’s pendant around his neck. Like Steve didn’t see his family all sitting uncomfortably silent together in the diner after mass every single Sunday afternoon.

It was weird, seeing Billy in a nice shirt. All buttoned up properly with his hair looking all respectful. Especially since Steve was usually high off his ass and slurping down a strawberry milkshake with cheese fries like he’d die if he didn’t.

“I’m not gonna talk about my sex life with you, Hargrove.”

“Aw, why not, Harrington. Don’t wanna compare body counts? You embarrassed or something?” Billy was grinning that shitty sharp grin of his, still waggling his fucking tongue as he leaned closer to Steve. “You still a virgin, King Steve?”

The song ended. Steve rewound the tape. It started up again.

He needed Kate now more than ever.

“Of fucking course I’m not. I’m just not some gross asshole that goes around telling everyone who’ve I’ve fucked. It’s called being a decent guy.”

“It’s called being a prude. Now, c’mon. Tell me who’ve you fucked. Maybe we’re tunnel buddies.”

Steve wanted to throw up. Kate was on the moors again.

“You’re disgusting. Tunnel buddies. How gross can you even get?”

“I hope that’s a rhetorical question.”

“I don’t know what that means and you’re a shithead.”

Hargrove tossed his head back and laughed, showing off those teeth that looked like they could take a chunk out of Steve’s flesh if Billy got close enough to try.

You had a temper like my jealousy. Too hot, too greedy.

“Seriously, though.” Billy had stopped laughing. “What is this shit?”

“She’s Kate Bush and she speaks to my heart.”

Billy just stared at him.

Yeah, that was a pretty pussy thing to say.

“I just got fucking dumped, dude. Let me be sad about it,” Steve backpedaled.

And then Billy did something very unexpected.

Well, he did something very normal for his character, and then he did something unexpected.

He lit up a cigarette.

And then passed it to Steve.

Steve filled up his lungs with a thick drag of smoke. He held it for as long as he could.

Which was really long.

Swimmer’s lungs. And that.

He blew out the smoke. Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy. I've come home, I'm so cold. Let me in your window.

“Is this fucking song based on Wuthering Heights?”

“Yeah, you dumb dumb. It’s fucking called Wuthering Heights.”

“Okay, dumb dumb, I clearly don’t even know this song.”

“Maybe you’d be less of an ass if you did. Dumb dumb.”

Billy lit a cigarette for himself, letting the smoke trail out of his mouth like he was some kind of dragon.

Billy probably fancies himself a dragon. Thinks he’s this big scary creature that just goes around breathing fire and ransacking villages for their gold.

Ooh, it gets dark, it gets lonely on the other side from you. I pine a lot, I find the lot falls through without you.

Really, he’s probably like a dog of some kind.

Domesticated.

“You’re staring at me.”

Yeah. Steve was staring at him. Watching him smoke while Kate Bush played loudly. The speakers still sounded like shit even though Billy had turned down the song considerably.

Steve didn’t know when he had stopped crying.

Probably right when Billy had let himself into his cave of self pity, but his face was still wet.

He wiped it off, not pointing out that Billy had been staring at him too.

“Why are you here so late? Practice ended like, an hour ago.”

Billy shrugged lamely. He kinda looked like a little kid.

Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy. I've come home, I'm so cold. Let me in your window. 

“Bored. Didn’t feel like being home.”

“So you came to sit in the break-up mobile with me. How nice.”

“Mostly I just wanted to make fun of you for listening to this garbage. I could hear it across the lot.”

And sure enough, Billy’s car was parked a good ways down from Steve, about as far away as their two cars could be from one another.

Steve doubts Billy heard Kate all this way, but what’s he gonna do, bring that up?

No. He’s rather sit in this weird silence that settled between them, feeling awkward about himself and his body and listen to Kate.

I'm coming home to wuthering, wuthering, Wuthering Heights

“She’s not worht it, y’know.”

Steve had to do a double take to make sure it was still Billy sitting in his passenger seat, and not some cheap imposter wearing a Billy-suit and saying almost nice things to Steve in a not-mean voice.

“What’d you say earlier? Plenty of bitches in the sea?” Steve would’ve laughed at that comment when Billy made it if they weren’t naked together.

There’s something things you don’t do while naked with another guy, and laughing just isn’t one of them.

Plus, he had been a little too focused on figuring out why Billy’s nudity had given him that same hot feeling that nearly seeing Rob Lowe’s dick in The Outsiders movie gave him last year.

“I mean, it’s true. Don’t sweat this break-up. She seemed like an uptight bitch anyway.”

“Hey.”

Steve was still a little too sore, a little too fresh from the split to trash talk Nance like that.

“Whatever. Get high. Look at some porn. You’ll be fine.”

Ooh, let me have it. Let me grab your soul away.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Silence again.

Kate was back to the chorus.

The song was almost over.

“You could always go on the rebound. get her out of your mind with someone that’ll actually put out.”

Hargrove had barely even said it before he was yanking Steve forward, giving him no time to prepare as their mouthed smooshed together in something that was very very awkward, and very very sloppy.

Steve still had tears on his cheeks, and his cigarette was getting dangerously close to the filter, threatening to burn his fingers, and Kate was still singing, and Billy was kissing him, and dear God Steve’s at least a little bit gay.

Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy. I've come home, I'm so cold. Let me in your window. 

They drifted apart from one another just in time for Steve to rewind the song again.

“So, uh, yeah,” Billy said, and his cheeks were this wonderful shade of red, and Steve couldn’t stop thinking about Kate’s red dress and that fucking kiss and he was on the moors again, but this time he and Billy were making out in the grass and oh fuck, oh fuck-

“Yeah. Good.”

“Good?” Billy raised on of those dark eyebrows at him, his cheeks still burning.

“Good. Very good.”

Billy nodded a few times, sucking on his cigarette. Steve suddenly remembered he had dropped his on the floormates and tried to stamp it out before it got singed to bad.

“Okay then. Good.” Billy opened the passenger door, stepping out and flicking away his cigarette. He seemed to think for a moment, before turning around, leaning his upper body into Steve’s car.

Steve thought they were going to kiss again.

He was ready to go for it, ready to let his eyes close and maybe let it lead to more. He was Cathy and he was ready for some action.

But Billy just grinned again.

And skipped the song.

[yourmcu]

102

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary:

Songfic based on ‘102′ by the 1975. Moments when Natasha’s really in love with you.

A/n: listen to that song here, it’s good

Word count: 2,442

Warnings: fluff. pining. angst. angst. one sided relationship. r’s an idiot

Well, we’re here We’re at the common again

To put it simply, Natasha’s in love with you. It’s been a while now and she’s positive about her feelings. She’s not even in denial of it.

Natasha loves everything about you especially those little things and how you can make her day a thousand times better just by being around. Only realizing it a few years after you became a full time Avenger, you’re still unaware even though you’ve got this wonderful friendship with her.

Friendship, she sighs. She thought she could do anything, unfortunately admitting her stupid feelings isn’t one of them. She’d be risking the friendship and bond you two have, or, you could admit that you felt the same and everyone’ll be happy.

However, the thing is, you don’t.

“I like the way that your face looks when I’m arguing with you”.

She finds you adorable even if it's just the dumbest thing ever.

"Nat!" You whine, flailing your hands at your sides like a child. "I called shotgun!"

"I got here first, didn't I?"

"Children, better hurry it up or we'll miss the premiere." Tony gets in the driver's seat.

Natasha sticks her tongue out and crosses her legs to get comfortable, teasing you. The way your eyebrows furrow and your lips turn into a pout, sometimes you'd flail your arms or cross them is so adorable to her.

"Nat," you drag out, crawling in to sit on her lap and attempt to push her out. You don't think of it much because you're frustrated. "Come on, Nat!"

"There's room for both of us here, this is fine." She smirks, wrapping her arms around your waist making you jolt. You're ticklish like that.

Natasha teasing you is the norm for the team so they barely react, so normal that Tony just goes ahead and drives while you're still on the redhead's lap.

"Stop! We're gonna get pulled over!"

"Eh, they owe us an unpayable debt, remember?"

Even if the matter's more serious, she couldn't help but feel soft for you. Every time.

Inside you were freaking out. It was when the Avengers were handed the Sokovia Accords. They were all your friends and to see them split in two sides was - crazy. You remained undecided, but you knew if you didn't sign you'd probably be behind bars.

Both sides made valid points. After Steve abruptly left you were with Natasha most of the time. She tried her best to persuade you that signing was the best option for the team.

"You know I'm not one with politics, I just don't trust them, Nat," you sigh, gently taking her hand to fiddle with. "But - but then again, we've done enough collateral damage through the years."

Natasha nods. "you know I'm with you no matter what happens, right?"

You nod as well and offer a thankful smile. She truly is your bestest friend.

"Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path," she continues. "Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

Her hand now intertwines with yours. But she gently removes hers, that's way too... weird. You can't just do that, Romanoff.

She mentally sighs in relief since it doesn’t look like you noticed. You remain silent, deep in thought, but you snap out of it when she gets up.

"I'm making a quick stop to London then I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. You're welcome to join me."

And so when, when we all grow old I hope this song will remind you that I’m not half as bad As what you’ve been told

Here we are, sort of like your origin story on how you met the Avengers.

Steve introduced you to the team when you've settled, healed, and able to control your pyrokinesis. You were thankful for them saving you from the HYDRA base because unlike the others, the experiments they ran on you were forced.

As Natasha first laid her eyes on you, that cliché moment in movies where in the character's surroundings seem to slow down and the only thing you're focused on is that one particular person-

She didn't believe in that shit. She would scoff and roll her eyes whenever she saw a scene like that.

But it happened to her. She hated it and would've accused you for taking her breath away.

"Yeah. Natasha Romanoff." She curtly extends a hand for you to shake and you smile at her, taking it.

And for a while she ignores you while simultaneously looking you up behind your back.

Why would someone like you, a genuine and beautiful ray of sunshine, want anything to do with someone like Natasha?

She's terrified of the thought of what your reaction would be if you realize what she'd done in the past. Ah, her past, something she isn’t proud of.

You finally confront her one day, hating how you seem to get a long with everyone just fine except her.

Your real reaction being, "we've all done something really bad that we regret. I mean, look at me, I was treated like a weapon for a quarter of my life and I can produce fire anytime, which I didn't ask for - sorry, I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think you're a bad person Natasha. You're here, aren't you? Saving people's lives? You're a better version of yourself, you're changing and if you ask me that's what really matters. Now, can we get some coffee?"

Natasha's been in love with you ever since.

And when I knock at a hundred and two, And I see your pajamas I can’t stop smiling at you

Natasha heard soft knocks outside her door one night. To be honest she'd be most likely to ignore the harsh and hard knocks, so she got up and made her way to open the door.

There you stood in your pajamas. You hate the matching ones, just like the pair you had on that night. But you also hate mismatching them. Natasha wouldn't admit to think that you look nice in them though. "Hi," you manage to say, avoiding looking her directly in the eyes since you already doubt she'd let you stay just this once. "I... uh, m'sorry for waking you up, Nat-"

While you find the words to say Natasha just observes - that's creepy - admires - she looks, she looks. You're clearly dying inside, probably regretting you knocked, the way you prefer looking at anything but her as you try and get words out, and how you fiddled with the hem of your shirt.

"God, you know what? Never mind, I... I'm sorry for waking you up."

Before you could walk away Natasha opens her door wider, her face displaying full concern. "Hey, what happened?"

"It's nothing serious, I was just-"

"As your friend, I'm here for you no matter what," she wonders what'd it be like if it’s more than that. "Plus, I won't be able to go back to sleep either if you end up not telling me." She offers you a smile.

You sigh, looking her in the eye for the first time that night. "Had a nightmare. It was one of those kinds where I had no idea if I was gonna wake up from it - it was just - I feel like if I went back to sleep I'd see it again, you know?" You exhale, frowning.

She's glad you chose to show your vulnerable side to her, it just goes to show that you trust her that much, feeling like you could tell her anything.

You bite your lip, looking away. "I'm being such a baby about it, sorry-"

"Y/N," she states. "Stop apologizing and come here,"

Natasha motions you inside her room and almost immediately you latch yourself onto her, hugging her as you near the bed. It must've been bad, you seem shaken up about it.

You sigh in relief when Natasha pulls the covers over both of you, enveloping you into warmness.

Natasha lies beside you with her elbow propped up to look at you. "Do you... want to talk about it? Or I can put on a movie if you'd like."

You shake your head slightly, scooting near her. "I'm all good now."

Natasha's heart skips a beat, knowing that she's the one making you feel at ease, calm. She smiles and nods, turning to turn off the lamp.

Friends can cuddle, right? She wonders. She wants to wrap an arm around you more than anything but she feels that would be some sort of violation. So she hopes that the closeness of your bodies would be enough, for now. Hopefully.

I said “well I, I like the cut of your jib,”, “I like the way that your face looks when you're yapping on about him,”

Even though you were being affectionate with Natasha sometimes, you never returned her feelings.

Only a total asshole would hang around with someone often and do something that would cross that barrier, giving signs and subtle hints that you liked her, at least that’s what it looked like to Natasha but it ended up actually didn’t. Were you really the one to blame though? You have no idea Natasha likes you more than a friend.

Which lead you to making a very poor choice of opening up about someone you liked, to the one who liked you.

Natasha’s heart was racing when you mentioned you liked someone and planned to take them on a date, but you decided to go to her for advice first. 

It was a fifty-fifty chance for her, really.

“I mean, she is very mysterious,” you thought while running your thumb across your bottom lip. “Wanda.”

From there, Natasha just tried to ignore the sudden ache in her chest, pulling herself together in your presence. Of course it wasn’t her, you would never like someone like her. Plus, it was expected. You and Wanda shared a few more things in common than Natasha.

Noticing that the redhead hasn’t spoken a word, you continue. “I’d like to get to know her better but... you’ve known her longer than me, right, Nat? I want her to be comfortable if I ever get to go out with her.”

She tried to swallow the lump on her throat subtly, avoiding your eyes. She wanted nothing more than to walk away, out of anybody’s sight so no one could see her mercilessly destroy anything in her sight.

“You don’t need to,” she finally replies. “You could watch her favorite sitcoms together and you’ll win her over.”

“Sitcoms?”

“She likes them.”

You pout, pondering about the idea further while Natasha sighs to herself.

And after you excuse yourself to talk to the young witch, Natasha wastes no time to head to her floor to have some well deserved alone time to herself and mope, telling herself that she doesn’t and never will deserve someone like you.

But on this shirt I found your smell I just sat there for ages Contemplating what to do with myself

You and Natasha are both lucky to have each other on the team. The both of you are a match made in heaven on the battlefield, you have each other's backs.

"So... that went well," you state, referring to the mission, putting your hands on your hips as Natasha packs her stuff to get ready to leave for the next day. You bite the inside of your cheek, cursing yourself for packing lightly. "Can I borrow a shirt?"

Natasha just finished showering, now in the process of doing her usual routines before going to bed. She grabs a shirt from her closet and pulls it on.

She sighs exhaustedly, running her fingers through her hair. The fact that the shirt she put on was the same one you borrowed from her that day doesn’t click immediately.

But when it does,

"Fuck."

Natasha told herself to slowly move on because a more-than-friends relationship with you is not happening.

Well, not that she's ever told you directly that she's in love with you, but she can take a hint. You clearly aren’t interested.

And now she sits there alone with a shirt that fucking smells like you, her favorite person. At that moment she wants to just march over to your room and confess.

Trying to move on isn’t a good look on her, key word: trying to.

You’re something else. No one's made her feel this way before.

I called you up at a hundred and two, We just sat there for ages Talking about that boy who was getting on to you

You just might be the most oblivious idiot ever.

Because after your first, second date with Wanda you still failed to notice the changes in Natasha’s mood. You should know, you considered her your best friend, but being with Wanda became your priority ever since you pulled off impressing her on the first date.

Instead of letting you be, Natasha had to call you. At the time you were on your break, taking time off out of the compound. She just wanted some sort of closure at least, wasn’t even sure if that’s what to call it considering you both would still be friends, but she needed it.

“Hey, I won’t take up too much of your time,” she starts, but you immediately bombard her with what happened with your day with Wanda.

Natasha bites her lip as you do, every little thing you mentioned that she could only imagine doing with you sends her heart throbbing. But at the same time she’s happy for you. She simply loved seeing you happy. 

“I couldn’t have managed to do any of it let alone talk to Wanda without your help. Thanks, Nat,” she smiles sadly at your words, completely scrapping the thought of confessing her feelings to you. Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. “We should hang out when I get back. I miss you.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t, I... I’m being sent off for a mission soon,” she blinks back the tears and she could’ve sworn the ache she felt just got worse. Before she could utter another word, you sigh.

“Oh. I’ll see you when you get back, then?”

“I guess.”

When the call ends she goes to her messages to type out the things she’s been dying to say. She’ll be gone when you get back, she won’t have to face you once you’ve read it. After everything I still love you. It’s been too long, you deserve to know.

[im-just-a-random-fandom-girl]

You know what I want?

Domestic Stucky. In Westview. Hear me out.

(First of all, Endg*me can go fuck itself. Steve’s whole thing? Never happened. Forget about it. Wipe if from your mind. We’re rewriting that shit.)

(Also, this isn’t a fic even though I know it starts out looking like one lol. This is just stream of consciousness thoughts. I would put way more effort into actual writing)

The weeks after the final snap were hard. 

Bucky was back, and it felt like every weight that had been dragging Steve down for the past 5 years was lifted. He was mentally and physically exhausted, but his soulmate, his best friend, was at his side again, pulling him into a warm hug, tight and breathtaking. 

It was still hard; Steve was a very different man than he had been 5 years ago, but Bucky was calm and understanding. There was still much to mourn for, too. Tony and Nat were gone. Any sense of stability that had been established during those 5 years was immediately destroyed, and Steve was sure it would take many more years to try to fix the damage.

And Wanda. When Wanda was snapped back into existence, her grief was palpable. What had been 5 terrible years for him had been 5 minutes of bliss for her, relief that she wouldn’t have to try to live in a world without Vision. Steve knew the feeling. Even though he didn’t quite understand Wanda and Vision’s relationship (he was a robot?), he can’t really judge because he’s been pining after his childhood best friend for the better part of a century and still hasn’t managed to do anything about it.

To be brought back to life was the worst trick you could play on Wanda. Her sense of peace was snatched away from her and she was throttled back into a world that had nothing in it for her. Everyone she loved was dead. Her powers still deemed her a threat, even if she had played a crucial role in the fight against Thanos.

Steve wanted to be selfish and just run away with Bucky, but he couldn’t leave Wanda, who had become the little sister he never had.

He worried about her. Even as those who had been snapped away started to come to terms with the fact that 5 years had passed, Wanda wandered around, just a shell of her former self. Sometimes she fell into fits of rage and despair, using her powers to smash everything in her room at the compound or snapping at anyone who tried to distract her. Most of the time she was just blank.

Just a month after the return from the blip, Wanda strolls into the kitchen and announces that she’s going to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. Steve’s head snaps up. Her eyes are hard and determined, and Steve belatedly realizes that every muscle in her body is tense as she readies herself to fight anyone who tries to stop her. Sam is the first to speak up.

“Okay, kid,” he breathes out nonchalantly, “you need anyone to go with you?” Sam is good like that. Always knowing what to say to make someone feel comfortable and cared about, but not coddled.

“No,” Wanda grits out. A breath, and then, softer, “thank you.”

Glancing around to see if anyone else had any objections, Wanda walks out of the compound.

Steve lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was still holding, but the room is still tense. He whips around to Bucky, eyes wide with concern.

Before he can even say anything, Bucky reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry. Come on, we’ll watch out for her.”

So, with a tight smile, Steve stands up and lets Bucky lead the two of them out.

It’s not until they are halfway down the street in an inconspicuous car, trailing a little ways behind Wanda’s red sedan that it occurs to Steve to ask what they’re doing.

“We’re just going to follow her to make sure she’s alright, pal. S.W.O.R.D. has Vision’s body, and it’s not a good idea for her to be alone, even if she thinks it’s best.”

“She’ll be mad if she realizes what we’re doing.”

“Good thing one of us is a reformed Russian spy,” he smirks.

Steve’s heart skips a beat at that familiar face, one that he hadn’t thought he’d ever see again, and blushes, ducking his head. If Bucky notices, he doesn’t say. They carry on in a comfortable silence.

As they pull into the S.W.O.R.D. parking lot, Steve watches Wanda march into the headquarters. He turns to Bucky, "Are we going to follow her in?"

"You can't, that's for sure." Steve scowls. "It's not entirely your fault, pal, but you're don't exactly blend in easily. But I'll go in to keep an eye on her if you want me to."

Steve considers the offer for the moment. As much as he wanted to watch out for Wanda, he knew that if she found out, it would hurt her more. She would think that he didn't trust her, and that he was following her to make sure that she didn't lose control of her powers and hurt people. He didn't want to make her feel more ostracized than she already was.

"No, we'll just wait," he says, shaking his head. His eyes never leave the entrance to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. 

The wait for Wanda feels excruciatingly long. Steve doesn't trust that S.W.O.R.D. is any better than S.H.I.E.L.D., and he honestly has no idea what they've been doing with Vision's body for the last 5 years. A renewed sense of guilt washes over him.  If he had tried to fight S.W.O.R.D. harder for Vision's body, Wanda wouldn't be here, fighting through her grief to see him one last time. After the snap, Steve didn't feel like he could waste his dwindling energy scrutinizing S.W.O.R.D's every move, but he now wishes he had. He could have spared her this pain. 

Sensing the anxiety bubbling up within him, Bucky reaches out, pulling Steve's hand into his own. "It's not your fault, Steve," he reminds him gently. Steve squeezes his hand in response.

Wanda walks out of S.W.O.R.D. headquarters 20 minutes later. She seems drained and tired, but her expression reveals nothing. They wait again before following her out of the lot.

When she turns right, away from the direction of the compound where he assumed she would return, Steve frowns. "Where is she going? The compound's the other way."

Bucky shrugs. "I guess we'll see."

Steve has no idea where they are until he sees a sign declaring "Welcome to New Jersey!" not far down the highway.

"What the hell is she going to Jersey for?" Bucky gasps, pulling a loud laugh from Steve's chest. It's absurd and ridiculous, but it reminds Steve of when they were kids in Brooklyn, shitting on the Yankees and the state's annoying accent, among the plethora of other abhorrent traits about New Jersey. Bucky starts laughing with him, shaking his head. 

They finally arrive in a small, run-down town called Westview. Steve can't imagine why Wanda would come here.

Her red sedan comes to a stop in front of an empty plot of land, and she steps out, clutching a folded piece of paper to her chest.

"Oh, Christ... Shit," Bucky mutters. Steve is about to ask what he's thinking when he finally sees Wanda's walls crumble. 

Her shoulders shake with the force of her sobs, and she falls to her knees with a cry of desperation. A red orb of her twists around her body and Steve shoves the door to the car open, desperate to get to Wanda. 

"Steve!" he hears Bucky cry out behind him, and it's the last thing he hears before Wanda's powers implode around her, and his vision is blotted with red.

Remember! Wanda made all of her characters in the hex as similar to their actual lives as possible to ease her control of them! SO, it's only natural that her powers would pick up on the fact that Steve and Bucky are very obviously pining for each other and put them in a loving relationship while they are in the hex. Since they are both under Wanda's control, their storyline would happen mostly independently from what we see in WandaVision. I wouldn't have there be any smut (since I'm not talented enough or comfortable writing it myself) so there wouldn't be any non-con or any serious dub-con while they are in the hex. The idea is that both of them want everything that they are made to do (be partners, hold hands, kiss, do other couple-y stuff), but they are concerned because they think the other would feel disgusted and not want it.

There unfortunately were not any gay characters on TV in the 50s and 60s, so I would write these two "episodes" with loose ties to other sitcoms from those decades and do some research into how gay couples lived during these time periods. Basically, reimagine my own 50s and 60s sitcoms with realistic portrayals of a gay couple.

For the other decades, I would then base their relationship off of those actually depicted in sitcoms from that time. 

It should be noted that, while I have actually watch a lot of old sitcoms, I haven't watched many of the ones I mention. If I every decide to write this, I would do a lot more research on these shows (and watch some episodes!)

70's - I would likely draw from Barney Miller, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, and Soap.

80's - Roseanne is pretty iconic, but I would be a little hesitant to write it after all of the controversy a couple years ago. Love, Sidney may also work, but I don't know enough about the show.

90's - Will & Grace, of course! I don't know anything about Northern Exposure, but the little bit of research I've done suggests that also may be a source of inspiration.

2000 through early 2010s - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Modern Family. (I loved The War At Home, but it doesn't really fit)

When Wanda releases everyone from the hex, Bucky and Steve had some serious miscommunication issues and angst. Both feeling exceedingly guilty about their actions, despite the fact that they had no control over them. They got a taste for what domestic life would be like together, and they are frustrated that they enjoyed it since they believe the other one did not. When Wanda explains that her powers gave everyone jobs, relationships and roles in society that were equally comparable to those they had in real life, Bucky and Steve both realize that the hex would not have put them in a relationship if it wasn't what the other also wanted. Yay! They make-up (and make-out, lol).

I seriously want to write this, but I really don't have the confidence that I will be able to execute it as I imagine it. If someone wants to work on it with me (be it we both write it or you just want to offer some brainstorming help/story guidance), I would be thrilled! Just so long as there isn't any pressure to get it done in a time crunch. I just want this writing experience to be fun! Also, if you are interested, I swear I’m a better writer than what was just exhibited, but I really only spent an hour or so on it, so it’s obviously not my best work.

Anyway, if you have any thoughts, suggestions, advice etc or just want to scream about WandaVision and/or Stucky, please feel free to PM me or stop by my inbox. It would make my day :) 

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 22

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-consensual&dark sexual situations, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat  additional warnings: open the read more, CTRL + F and search “content warnings” to skip to the additional "spoiler-y" tags for trigger warnings

hey guys! i made a ko-fi! if you enjoy this and have some cash you could spare to help me out with my bills, id really appreciate it! if you follow the link and check out the ‘posts’, there’s a snippet for ch. 4 of posies! 

Their parents had died a few months after her thirteenth birthday and Penny essentially blacked out for the next 8 months. She didn’t remember anything from that school year, although she’d evidently scraped by in all of her classes—actually, Penny was still convinced that little Peter, who was already showing signs of being a tiny genius, had done at least half of her homework. She didn’t remember Hanukkah that year, or the first Christmas she’d ever celebrated with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. She had zero friends coming out of that year, having accidentally pushed everyone away in fits of rage or sadness that she couldn’t even remember. The pain cut just as deep every time she remembered showing up to school the first day of her freshman year only to receive the cold shoulder from half her grade.

That was actually one of the first memories she’d retained after coming out of 7 months and 3 weeks of complete emptiness, how none of her best friends wanted anything to do with her. Everything had been confusing, somehow devastating all over again but… it was less. Her parents were gone and it hurt so much but it was nothing compared to the agony that had beset her form seconds after being informed her mom and dad were dead. When Penny racked her brain she could almost remember Aunt May crouched in front of her while she sat on the couch at home, holding her hands.

Somewhere in her brain, Penny had known that plane crashes were possible. Like, as a concept she understood the idea. The plane that was flying through the air stops doing that, and all the people inside the plane die. But it couldn’t possibly happen to her parents—they were her parents, they were infallible. Plane crashes happened, yeah, but her parents couldn’t be gone. Aunt May had told her several years later that she and Ben had been petrified she would try to kill herself, especially when the state tried to take the young girl away from the Parker’s.

They’d never had the money for therapy and Penny figured she’d never regain the memories from those months but honestly, she didn’t want them. The gaps were reprieves, the missing conversations, the absence of any and all detail. Wasn’t she sad to not remember her eighth-grade graduation? Fuck no, it was a blessing to forget how she’d felt like everyone in existence had their eyes on her—except for the ones she wanted.

There were times she absently wondered how disappointed her parents would be that she didn’t finish college, let alone get an actual high school degree. Her dad had been so smart, a genius in his own right. And her mom… Penny tried not to think of her mom often, not when it hurt so deeply. Mary Parker had been a gentle soul with an IQ of 150 who made Penny feel safe and loved and understood every day of her life. Her mother would’ve been understanding, she would’ve seen the necessity in her dropping out but it would’ve hurt that gentle soul to know the opportunities her baby had missed.

It hurt Penny in a special way that neither of Mary and Richard Parker’s children would be graduating from high school. Neither would attend university. They wouldn’t go on to press the limits of their parent’s knowledge or make an impact on the world. Somehow despite everything she’d sacrificed, Peter would never get the opportunity that he deserved. Her genius baby brother, his potential capped before he had a chance to try. God, it was an agonizing burn in her chest, a searing pain that made her nauseous and light-headed.

Her heart was pounding so hard she wondered if her ribs would crack. The cabin was lovely. Dark wood and an A-frame, a nice deck in the back and lots of windows. It was surrounded by trees, with dark needles or thin pale trunks, the purple mountains of the Rockies a lovely backdrop. It was colder than she’d expect for summer, especially considering the overcast sky and the breeze. The clouds moved so fast at such a high altitude and Penny watched trembling as a shadow passed over the house, chasing the light away before the sun followed its path ravenously once more.

Steve and Bucky were unloading suitcases from the back of the SUV, passing each other calculating looks as Penny stood practically frozen in place. Her shoulders were hunched almost to her ears, arms wrapped gently but tightly around the white kitten in her arms. It was purring quietly, the same way it had been for hours now. The little thing had cried the first few hours after they’d left the tower and subsequently the chubby cheeked orange kitten behind, only settling when Penny laid down across the middle seat in the SUV and let it burrow into the crook of her neck.

If Penny turned around she would’ve recognized the mournful looks on their faces, the pain in the lines of their eyes. The soldiers knew the hurt she felt, to be separated from their most important person—they understood that Peter was the most important person in Penny’s world. This separation was on their heads, but what could they do? They’d worked themselves into a rut, the three of them, wearing such deep treads into their negative behaviors that they couldn’t climb out. A complete shakeup was the only solution.

Both winced when she abruptly folded at the waist, clutching the kitten to her chest, and vomited over the pine needle strewn dirt of the driveway. Her hair fell in heavy, curly curtains around her face as she heaved again, hiding her tear-streaked face from the soldiers’ view. The sound of them setting the bags they held down registered in Penny’s ears but she couldn’t find the strength to collect herself before they converged on her.

“Come ‘ere doll, lemme take you up to the bathroom,” Bucky stated quietly, sweeping her and the cat up into his arms as gently as he could, “you can take a bath while me and Steve get everything unloaded. I think you’ll really like the cabin baby, we… well, we designed it just for you. If there’s anything you want to change, you just tell us. We want it to be perfect for you.”

She mostly caught flashes of green and white and brown, tucking her chin to look at the kitten snuggled into her cleavage. It felt cruel, to have taken the white one and left the orange, but the little chubby-cheeked kitten had taken to her brother so well—better than it had taken to her, even. Peter had named it Malcah and while it still didn’t like being picked up or held, it twined his ankles and meowed at him for love.

“Sit here baby,” the soldier set her carefully on the lid of the toilet, after having climbed a set of stairs and turned multiple blurry corners, “let me run your bath.”

It was all white tile, the toilet built into the wall. The tub was a freestanding clawfoot, with a spray nozzle and high sides. It was surprisingly small, considering how large the tub in the tower had been. Penny idly speculated that only perhaps one of the soldiers would be able to fit at time and it would certainly be a tight squeeze if she was forced in with them. There was a standing shower on the other side, where the roof wasn’t so sharply sloped by the A-framed roof. The nice thing, that Penny would never admit was very nice, was all of the plants. The entire room was predominantly white but there was a long-vined philodendron hanging gracefully over the tub, snake plants sitting on the shelf before the toilet. She could see a rubber plant and another type of vine by the sinks, framing the mirror.

They’d obviously gone to great lengths to make sure it would be something she liked, clearly evidenced by the bathroom alone. There were even candles waiting to be used on the antique, hunter green shelves and bath bombs with lovely scents. If she’d been able to design a personal bathroom, Penny figured it would probably have looked something like this and that made her hate it all the more.

The bastards were so in their heads they could barely see the sunlight. Penny was convinced that they were so distracted orchestrating her nightmare they’d lost the plot. They kept throwing stuff at her; beautiful plants, nice clothing, cute cats, lovely homes—but it didn’t mean a single thing. All of the possessions in the world didn’t make up for the gaping, rotting hole in her chest.

“Alright doll, let’s get you undressed,” Bucky shifted towards her once the water was at the right temperature and filling the tub, a small smile on his stubbled face.

“Do you think I’m debilitated?” She rasped after a moment, rolling her eyes up to stare him in the face before spitting a vomit speckled wad of phlegm onto the rug by her feet and setting the kitten on the shelf next to the snake plants. “Last time I checked I didn’t need to be treated like a baby. Are you gonna keep standing over me like a pervert? Get out.”

The soldier’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, surprised by the calmness behind her cutting tongue. Usually, when Penny got an attitude, it came with fury and fists and resulted in broken bones or bleeding wounds. This was overwhelmingly controlled; a bitchy rebuttal. Her voice was the gravelly tone she usually got after screaming or crying, dark brown eyes nearly black.  When he didn’t move, Penny rolled her eyes and stood, whipping her t-shirt over her head and dropping it to the ground.

“You’re bein’ a little moody, babe,” Bucky watched calmly as she undressed, her clothes piling up on the floor. “Wanna think about reigning it in?”

Penny’s hair was big and curly around her face, framing the clenched jaw and sneering nose. “What are you gonna do, kill me? Whatever.”

“Penny, what—”

“Peter is a thousand miles away,” Penny’s voice started out sharp but very quickly faded into a tired drawl, “you can’t hurt him from here. And what do I care if you hurt me? So could you either get the fuck out and let me take a bath or fucking drown me in it? Whatever it takes for this interaction to be over.”  

“Are you looking for a punishment right now?” Bucky’s lips pulled down at the corners, eyebrows furrowing, “‘Cause you’re working your way towards one really quick.”

“What’re you gonna do? Kill someone in front of me?” She groaned, reaching up to dig her fingers into the roots of her hair, tugging sharply before dragging it into a tangled, thoughtless bun on the top of her head “Or spank me until I can’t sit? Rape me? Could you just get it over with? I want to be alone, please!”

Bucky was silent for several long seconds before sighing through his nose, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows. “Take your bath, think about your fuckin’ attitude. Steve and I are gonna bring the bags in.”

He left the door open and Penny was further irritated to learn he had too much dignity to stomp down the stairs the way she’d hoped he would. His break in composure had been so good for her it was unbelievable—but there was likely a punishment on the horizon and Steve wasn’t likely to let her off easy once the brunet told him what she’d said. The bastard was stone cold when it came to that shit.

She stared idly at the steaming bath, naked with her clothes piled around her feet—the question was whether she wanted a bath or if she’d been resigned to it? The water was scented, because of course it was. It was even one of her favorite citrusy scents, she noted disdainfully, another thing they had paid so much attention to while keeping her locked up in a tower like fucking Rapunzel. Now in a cabin, she figured she was a Jewish Goldilocks surrounded by hungry bears.

But it smelled nice and her body ached from the long car ride, it had already been run so why not hop in? Besides, it would keep her busy while the soldier’s fucked around and she wouldn’t have to see them for a bit. They were shuffling around and she could hear the sounds of bags being placed around the cabin. The door banged off the walls several times, always accompanied by a groan or a curse, one of which she recognized as a Yiddish swear—which she refused to find endearing. The kitten meowed at her from its position on the shelf, looking put out to be so far away but Penny shushed it quietly.

“You won’t like the water, just stay there,” she murmured quietly at the distraught little creature, picking up a washcloth and dunking it into the perfumed water. “If I come get you I’ll make a huge mess.”

She ignored the kitten as it continued to communicate with her, chittering in annoyance and pawing the edge of the ledge for several minutes before evidently surrendering and lying down with its little paws draped over the edge. Penny smiled to herself, the cat’s tail was roughly the size of its body and when it curled the fluffy mass of fur around itself it became unrecognizable as a cat. The orange one would’ve continued to complain until Penny let it down, would’ve just barely given her ankles a rub before running off to hide somewhere.

That’s why she decided to leave Malcah with Peter; the orange cat didn’t run from or scratch him. She twined his ankles, sat next to his thigh on the couch, kneaded her little paws against him. Peter had decided both kittens were female, based on the very reasonable basis that he wanted them to be. Penny wasn’t sure, didn’t quite care. The only thing she ever referred to the cats as was Chatul—which literally meant cat in Hebrew. She’d shortened it to Tuly for the white kitten, for the sake of ease, but refused to say it in front of the soldiers. The cat was hers, she didn’t have to share it with them.

The sounds of the soldiers were becoming more consistent throughout the cabin and Penny figured they must’ve brought in all of the bags and were focused on unpacking. She could hear someone down in the kitchen, unloading the masses of groceries they’d brought up the mountain while the other was in the bedroom. Penny rubbed the washcloth over her skin lightly, the oils from the fragrance making her skin soft and slippery.

She didn’t hear him come in, she felt Steve come in. The blond’s presence was just as overwhelming as Tony Stark’s, an aura bigger than his body that filled the room. She could feel the disappointed stare, even as she continued to wipe herself down with the washcloth. Her teeth ground together as he watched in silence, just waiting.

“Bucky said you’ve caught an attitude, baby doll.”

“Caught an attitude?” She rolled her eyes. “Wow, if only I hadn’t become desensitized to living in constant terror—you never would’ve realized I’ve had an attitude the whole time!”

“We’re supposed to be turning a new page, Pen.”

“Turning a—” Penny scoffed, face appalled as she abruptly stood from the bath and ignored the water going everywhere, “we’re not turning a new page—You burnt the fucking book!”

The blond’s eyes widened; Penny had gotten angry in the past, furious even. She’d broken things, broken skin, broken bones and it was always accompanied by outraged screaming. But Penny didn’t make unnervingly straight eye contact while she did it. She was barely coherent at the best of times, mostly she screamed to the room at large before flying into a violent frenzy—it was different. It was startling, the light in her eyes and the way her voice cracked.

“There is no page turning, there’s no fucking­—fucking reconciliation here, Steve,” she snatched a towel from the rack behind the tub, wrapping the light green fabric around her chest tightly, “I can’t believe after, fuck, how long has it been? A month and a half? Two months? What fucking day is it?”

“…It’s July 2nd,” he found himself choking out, still feeling shell shocked as she stepped out of the tub.

“A month and a half,” Penny’s face twitched, just barely concealing the distraught look he could see she wanted to make and she started shifting past him, “Jesus Christ after a month and a half you guys still don’t get it—you know what, never mind. After a month and a half, I should’ve been smart enough to realize what dumbasses you both are.”

“Penny—”

“God, fuck!” She shouted up at the ceiling, stopping in place halfway out the door. “I have listened to you two talk at length for what’s apparently been a month and a half! I have tried to listen to your stupid fucking rules, I put in the fucking effort and you still decided to take away the one thing I care about! I’m sick and tired of you saying my name in that fucking tone, I’m tired of constantly internalizing and I’m tired of being fucking walked on! So I’ll tell you what I told Bucky—either kill me or leave me alone, but for fucks’ sake just give me space!”

A low mew followed her statement and Penny made an abrupt about face, stomping past him to snatch up the kitten from where it had been sitting on the ledge and storming past him again. It was like getting brushed by a wildfire and Steve fought the urge to take a step back when her wet hair whipped against him.

She dug through one of the bags that held her belongings angrily, kitten on her shoulder, knowing that the blond continued to watch her from the bathroom doorway. Shorts, underwear, a sports bra, a t-shirt, and a hoodie over that. She would’ve put on socks but she knew it bothered Steve when she went barefoot.

“Come downstairs, precious,” he sighed after watching her dress, gesturing towards the stairs, “we’ve got to talk.”

“We’ve always got to talk,” Penny snorted derisively but started down the stairs anyway, Tuly back in her arms, “but it’s usually just you two telling me what I can and can’t do. Stop bossing me around.”

Steve followed after her, aghast and confused—Penny had always been brave in the situations she was forced into, whether it was taking custody of her fourteen year old brother or dealing with being kidnapped from her apartment by a billionaire criminal, but she hadn’t ever antagonized before. She’d talked back, got irritated, snapped, but she hadn’t ever just been flat out bitchy.

On the main floor, Bucky had already put away all of the groceries and was folding up the cloth shopping bags to tuck away for next time. The brunet’s eyes locked on Penny for several long calculating seconds and her hackles raised; whatever was coming was going to be annoying. She refused to be afraid though, not when there wasn’t anything to lose. Not anymore.

“Sit on the couch, let’s talk,” Steve directed, watching as she seemed to contemplate following the direction before doing so, “things are obviously going to be different here, precious.”

“The cabin is equipped with the same AI as the tower but its restricted to monitoring and safety protocols,” Bucky explained, gesturing to the open layout of the main floor, “you’ll be able to go outside so long as you ask first, there’s plenty to do out there. When Steve bought it there was an overgrown vegetable garden out there, we had it cleaned up for you and the shed fixed up and stocked. A lot of good hiking around here too.”

“I can’t talk to JARVIS?” She asked, eyes tracking the way the soldier’s exchanged glances. “Of course not. Then I would have some sort of interaction beyond the pair of you. Damaging to your plan, huh?”

“Penny, the rules didn’t end just because we’re out of the tower,” Steve had one hand braced on his hip while the other rubbed over his forehead, “be—”

“If you say Be Sweet I’ll find a way to kill myself,” Penny intoned, a dry look on her face. “Jews don’t have an afterlife you know, I’m not afraid of going to Hell.”

“Penny, we’re trying—”

“Penny we’re trying,” she mocked in a high-pitched voice, dead eye stare once again boring into Bucky’s, “I’m not. I’m done trying. You’ll either kill me or drive me insane, I’ll never see Peter again—I…I failed. I couldn’t protect him, I couldn’t even keep him safe until he was an adult, isn’t that insane? Grand total of three years and some change and I fucked it up.”

Penny stood up from the couch, shaking her head as she went. The kitten was quick to jump off the couch and follow after her, meowing while that massive fluffy squirrel tail curled over its back. The open floor plan of the cabin came in handy for the soldiers though, because she couldn’t really escape even as she walked across the living room and into the kitchen.

It was hard to pretend she didn’t actually love the cabin. The kitchen was small, located beneath the loft that held the bedroom and bathroom. The railing to the loft was covered in live vines that hung down to create a tiny illusion of separation between the living room and kitchen, the kitchen itself was sage green with white and dark brown accents. There were more plants, open cabinets mounted to the walls, the sink was small but there was a dishwasher. She loved the spiral staircase that led up to the loft, framing the kitchen to the left with small shiny baubles hanging from it.

There was a hamsa and a cross, both stained glass and hanging from the tallest step. Pretty cat toys hung from the lower railings, just within the kitten’s reach. It made Penny’s skin itch, just how lovely and perfect the whole cabin was. More evidence that they were paying a freaky amount of attention to her and every move she made.

“You didn’t fail, doll,” Bucky’s tone was quiet and he hesitated for a moment before following after her several paces, ending up on the edge of the kitchen, “You didn’t fuck it up, Peter—”

“Peter is trapped in a prison in New York with a creep more than twice his age who wants to violate and brainwash him,” Penny was on her knees in front of the fridge, digging through the crisper drawer in the bottom. “Literally all I had to do to prevent that from happening was pay more attention to his daily life. Fuck, kid was practically raising himself with how often I was gone—never stood a chance, you know?”

“Don’t think like that Penny,” Steve sighed, leaning down to pick up the kitten that had circled back to his ankles and setting it on his shoulder, “there’s nothing you could’ve done. You know who Tony Stark is, you know what he’s capable of. You can’t heap that guilt on your shoulders.”

“Oh, can’t I?” She hummed, absently throwing a package of bacon onto the floor, followed by a flat of raw chicken and beef. “There can be dairy in here or there can be meat, not both.”

“We might need a second fridge,” Bucky observed quietly, watching Penny drop a couple of deli bags with sandwich meat onto the ground before she started shuffling everything into different places within the cooler. “We could keep it in the shed?”

“No room,” Steve shook his head absently, “garage?”

Penny had collected a stack of items from the fridge and piled them onto the counter, not even bothering to look back on the soldiers as she began puttering around. The open-faced cabinets on the walls held mostly dishes and containers filled with ingredients and she ducked down, opening the lower cabinets and digging out several pans.

“Do you… do you want a hand, doll?” Bucky asked hesitantly after several moments, watching her collect ingredients and tools and turn on the stove.

“No.”

“Penny—”

“Can I make lunch please?” She whipped around, an irritated look on her face and a spatula in hand, looking like she was about to use it to beat them both, “I’m hungry and I want to die, I figure you’ll only allow me to fulfill one of those wants so can you let me cook?”

The next thing she knew, Penny had been swept up into Bucky’s arms. The solider looked confused, lips curled in frustration but his brow furrowed with dismay. She stiffened at the action when he stomped back to the couch and sat down roughly, dropping her over his knees and landing a smarting blow to her ass through her shorts without warning.

“Thirty for this fucking attitude,” he barked, yanking the shorts down until the waistband settled under the curve of her ass against the tops of her thighs, “count.”

A sharp inhale followed the first skin to skin hit and Penny snarled in response, “one.”

“Apologize,” Steve’s fingers tangled into her hair, extracting the hair tie and letting the curls fall in chaotic waves over her shoulders and face.

“Two,” she counted dutifully and angrily, narrowed eyes landing on Steve’s face, “I’m sorry you’re a fucking monster!”

“That just added ten more, Penny,” Bucky sighed through gritted teeth, “you better reign it in.”

“You better just kill me,” she rasped, nails digging into his leg where she was holding on for balance through the hits, “because I won’t reign it in. I’m sick to death of you motherfuckers—Oh, fuck, three!”

“No cursing during punishments, start from one,” Steve ordered darkly, the hand in her hair pulling taught as he glanced into Bucky’s eyes—the baffling combination of anger and dismay and loss in the brunet’s eyes let him know he wasn’t the only one scrambling.

“Fuck you!” Penny shook her head roughly as if to dislodge his hand, canting her head to the side the best she could manage to look him in the eye, “beat me black and blue, I don’t fucking care. Don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter anymore! Nothing fucking matters.”

content warnings: spanking *edit, addition content warning: disrespectful terminology for Jewish people 

[snarkwrites]

01 | upside down, steve harrington ; stranger things

Notes:

Guess who fell head first into binging Stranger Things? Again? Yep. This bitch. And I kind of came up with this at some point during. I’ve been dancing around writing a Stranger Things fic for a while, but here I go I guess?

A few big cautions up front... There will be things that change/differ from the fic and the show. I’m gonna sort of loosely follow the timeline set forth. But I will be changing a few things here and there. I mean, if enough people enjoy this that I feel like writing more to it, idk yet... We shall see.

I swear to God, I’m going to update my CSI fics and my Riverdale one asap. This just kind of caught me by the nose and demanded to be written...

Summary:

She moves back to Hawkins and manages to turn his life completely upside down. In the best of ways.

But how will everything play out between them? Also, can they handle all the weirdness ahead? We shall see.

Warnings:

loose canon compliance at best, total deviation at worst - this is just an up front catch all because sometimes, things happen that I don’t particularly care for (the senseless death of Barb, anybody?) and if you’re one of those canon only people, this is here to warn you that this is not the fic for you. language, occasional gore, monsters / fantasy elements, teenage drama and shenanigans - Obviously, teenagers are going to do stuff. They’re at that point in their life where not every decision they make is the best one. So if you’d rather skip over this kind of thing (teen drinking, fighting, etc) then yeah.. you’ve been warned. Slow burn / angst / mutual pining / eventual filthy good ness - because lets be real.. we’re all wondering when we’re gonna drop the plot and get to the good stuff. When this chapter occurs, I will flair it with an M. In the meantime, if you’re not into slow burn or mutual pining, then you’re probably not going to care about this.

Other Parts

[ soundtrack ] 

Other Stuff

[ faq - tag list doc ] 

Tagging:

There’s nobody on my list yet but... If you wanna be tagged for this, tell me pls. It will make me overjoyed. 

Throwing out a no pressure tag to @rampagewriting​ and @twistnet​ as well as @chasingeverybreakingwave​ just because. No pressure though bbies!

                                                            ONE

“Table six wants a burger and fries. Smothered for those fries, Jennie.” my nana’s voice shattered through my wandering thoughts. I closed the issue of Glamour I’d been reading and made my way out from behind the counter out in front, heading towards the dining area in the back. 

“Marlena quit again, Nana?” I inquired, shaking my head. Marlena quits at least once a year. Turns up a few weeks later, tanned and broke, begging for her old job back and it’s been that way since my mom and I lived here still, when I was around 6.

“Girl, what have I told you about callin me Nana?” my grandmother asked, laughing softly as she nodded. “Yeah. Said she’s headin out to California this time. Thinks she’s gonna be the next Brooke Shields.”

“Broke Shields is more like it.” I mumbled, taking an apron from the hanger on the wall. My grandmother spoke up again, giving me a nudge and smirking at me while nodding across the diner. “He’s baaack.”

“Nana!” I muttered, raising a hand to my mouth, giggling a little despite my best efforts not to.

“I’m just sayin is all. That boy is not comin in here for my good cookin, Jennie Bird.” my grandma shook her head and I eyed the booth where a lone Steve Harrington sat.

It’s only the thousandth time since I moved back to Hawkins in May.

And my nana is right. He’s probably not coming here for the food.

I’d just grabbed two of the orders and sent Steve’s order back to our short order cook Brett, -or the order I’m assuming was his, he always gets the same thing down to a T when he stops in, when a hand reaches out, grabbing my wrist.

I nearly jumped right outta my skin until I realized that it was Nancy grabbing my wrist and Barb laughing about it. They were sitting at our usual little booth near the window, nursing milkshakes as they waited on my upcoming 30 minute break. Just like we’ve been doing two or three times a week since May.

Come to think of it, it’s around that time that Steve started coming in too. I shoved the thought out of my head right around the time that Nancy and Barb noticed him. And naturally, the question arose...

“What’s Steve Harrington doing in here?” Nancy asked, glancing up at me. I eyed his table and shrugged, suck popping a cotton candy flavored bubble as I told her, “Cher, your guess is as good as mine. He’s been comin in here since I moved back.”

Nancy wiggled her brows and laughed. Barb spoke up. “My mom wanted to know if you wanted to go to the lake with us this weekend? She knows your grandmother is going out of town.”

I smiled and nodded yes, zero hesitation. After Nancy confirmed that she was going too, we made plans to go into the department store in town tomorrow afternoon to pick up some swimsuits.

Nancy’s eyes settled on my boots and she let out a low and appreciative whistle. “Are those the same boots that were in the mall last time we went? I wanted those.”

I smiled, lifting my foot so Nancy could see my boots better. Then I whirled around so she could see the fact that I’d made my favorite pair of Levis into cutoffs and sewn white cherry print fabric over the back of one of the pockets.

“I love those. I wish my mom would let me cut off my jeans.” Nancy pouted. I shrugged. “Ginger said it was cheaper than buying shorts, so I went for it. I did two other pairs too.”

“I’m bringing my old jeans over tonight.” Barb spoke up. I smiled, nodding. “Yeah. I’ll do you right up, hon.”

“I wish I tanned like you. Do you just live outside, Jennie?” Barb asked, pouting a little. I shrugged it off, laughing. Taking a deep breath as I nodded towards Steve’s booth as I gazed at my friends after finally managing to tear my eyes off of Steve. “I best get over to table six. Then I have to go pick up the bohunk’s order, I reckon.”

“What’s a bohunk?” Nancy giggled.

“Same as a himbo, I reckon.” I answered, wrinkling my brows because I didn’t actually know myself. I just knew my nana Ginger often called her long-time live-in boyfriend, Hank, the same thing and I could tell by her tone that it was a loving thing.

I made my way over to Ethel and Earl’s table, setting them up with their food. “Y’all need anything else? Just let me know. Marlena quit on us again, so I’m the server tonight.”

“We’re all set, dear!” they assured me and I made my way over to the second of the tables whose orders I’d picked up.

The next table was Jim Hopper. My mom’s ex boyfriend. He chuckled and shook his head as I approached. “I see Ginger put you right to work.”

“I put me to work, sir. I’m saving money for a Trans Am I found for sale in Rollins.” I smirked as I said it, twisting a strand of hair around my fingertip.

“Oh really now.. Let me know when you get it. So I can warn the rest of the guys and the rest of town to keep a wide berth when you’re behind the wheel.”Hopper teased, chuckling. I pretended to pout, but got him set up with the food he’d ordered before finally making my way towards the back again.

I had to walk right past Steve’s booth in the process, naturally.

I did my best to keep my eyes trained towards the front of the dining area, but Steve cleared his throat just as I walked past.

“Is tonight the night you finally say yes?” Steve flashed a grin as he asked me the question. I wanted to melt, lucky for me, common sense prevailed once again.

“Steve..” I complained, shaking my head. Pretending to pout at him.

“Aw, c’mon.” Steve chided, giving me that charmer smirk as he gazed up at me. I bit my lip, eyes locked on his, lost in the depths of his eyes for a few seconds. My nana’s calling my name had me coming back to the moment and I sighed. “I gotta go get your food, cher.”

I hurried up to the front, ignoring my nana’s pointed stare and nod as she mouthed, “Well? What’d he say, huh?”

I gave a mysterious shrug and picked up the tray containing his food. Started my journey back towards his booth. On my way over, Nancy gave me a thumbs up and Barb mouthed at me in teasing, “ Aww, you’re totally blushing right now.” to which I stuck out my tongue and shook my head no.

I was all business as I sat his food in front of him. Consulting my notepad that had his order scrawled on it in my Nana’s loopy scrawl. “That’s a loaded burger and smothered fries with a chocolate shake.” suck popping another gum bubble as I spoke.

“Yeah.” Steve answered, locking eyes with me. My hand raised, trailing over the loopy cursive of my silver necklace. I toyed with the cursive that formed my name and he chuckled, dragging his fingers through his hair, nodding to it. “You still have it, I see. The necklace, I mean...”

“Why wouldn’t I? My best friend gave it to me, cher.” I gave him a soft smile. I couldn’t resist it because believe me, I tried. I’ve been trying to resist the guy since May, actually.

“Oh. So you did think about me when you left Hawkins...Interesting. I mean… you’re still wearing the necklace I got you for your birthday...” Steve mused quietly. His eyes were absolutely fixed on me. Studying me. And I felt this warmth spreading through my entire being. Like that first sliver of sunlight on a cloudy and cool day. 

Then the calm. Be still my beating heart, the calm that took over when I dared to lock eyes with him as my own personal act of defiance. Popping another cotton candy flavored bubble as I did so. I bit my lip as I thought of the best way, read, least revealing way, to answer his question. This was venturing into very,very dangerous territory at present. Because if I said no I’d be lying and if I said yes, it would give him too much power. He’d know that maybe he was my first real crush back then. He’d know that maybe seeing him again after all this time had been like a burst of fresh air and somehow, felt as if maybe he’d taken all the air from me at the same time.

It was a huge risk. Huge.

“Maybe.” - it was the only word that would come presently. Blondie crooning Call Me from the old jukebox sitting at the back of the dining area shattered through the heavy lingering silence that followed immediately behind my answer. In a rush, I told him quietly, “I have other tables.”

“You’ve been on your feet all afternoon, little red. C’mon. Sit?” Steve nodded to the empty bench across from him.

I scoffed at him over my shoulder. Giving him a sweet but firm shake of the head no and smile. “As much as I’d love to sit, romeo. Sitting’s not what’s gonna put that sweet fire engine red Trans Am in my nana’s driveway by August.”

He pouted and called out as I walked away, “ I’m not giving up.”

This earned him giggles from the booth I usually filled with Nancy and Barb when I took my 30 minute break.

As I walked by them, Nancy teased out loud, “ Awww, look Barb! She’s blushing.”

“I am not.” I pretended to be offended by the suggestion. Mouthing to both of them as I fanned myself with some napkins in teasing and nodded in Steve’s direction, “Whew...He has gotten… Intense.” 

“That’s Hawkin High’s big man on campus.” Barb informed me. I went to clock out for my break and came back with a Diet Pepsi, flopping across the booth across from then. Someone put 867-5309 on to play on the jukebox and I grumbled through closed lids, “I hate that fuckin song.”

Naturally, Barb and Nancy started to sing along. Loudly.

I pouted at them both as I rose to a sitting position.

Steve wandered over, flopping himself down in the empty spot next to me. “Ladies.”

“You’re not at Hagan’s party?” Barb asked, a brow raised.

“Yeah, why aren’t you at Tommy’s party?” Nancy asked, shooting me a covert teasing smile.

Steve shrugged. Took a long sip of his chocolate milkshake, slurping it through the straw noisily. I eyed it.

“I’d kill for a strawberry one right now.” I mused, gazing at the cup in his hand. He muttered quietly, “It’s not strawberry, but…”  as he held it out.I eyed the styrofoam cup and him. Biting my lip.

Nancy and Barb were gazing at me intently. Teasing gleam in their eyes.

I sighed and reached out for it, taking a few sips. Holding it back out to him.

“I was there. Got bored. I like the scenery better here anyway.” Steve answered finally, shrugging.

“So you enjoy spending your Friday night in a diner packed with old people..” I muttered, locking eyes with him. Swallowing hard when I found him staring at me already. 

He chuckled, shaking his head no. “I said I liked the scenery here, little red. Not the dining company. If you’d say yes and let me buy you a burger sometime…” he smiled at me as he went quiet.

I felt Nancy and Barb both fix their eyes on me.

“We’ll see.” I answered, shrugging mysteriously and smiling at him as  I did so. I wanted to say yes so bad it was killing me, but given that I know the history of my grandmother and my mother, I was… Definitely erring on the side of caution.

Besides.. It makes things interesting when you play hard to get. I guess I figure that if Steve gets bored and moves on, then it’s better than agreeing, falling head over feet, making any number of bad life choices that seem to plague the women in my family and ultimately, winding up heart broken.

Call me a hopeless romantic. Overly cautious. I just want to wait until I know something is a sure thing before I dive in over my head. I want something that’s going to last a while. Not be this intense and scary whirlwind that starts off strong and ends just as fast as it began.

“Hey, were we all going to go for a swim later? Figured it was hot enough. Besides, Ginger and Hank are going to Rollins later. They won’t be back until 2. Or two days from now.” I mused, glancing from Nancy to Barb.

“Sleepover in the treehouse?” Barb suggested. Nancy nodded, giving me begging eyes. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. It’ll be like when we were little.” 

“That’s actually not a bad idea!” I smiled, laughing.

After we all made our plans for the night, they left to go back into town and this left me with ten minutes in my break. Alone in a booth with Steve Harrington.

Hot Blooded came on the jukebox in back of the dining area and I grinned. Humming along with the song as I eyed the last of Steve’s fries. He chuckled, shoving them in front of me.

“You won’t let me buy you your own food… Yet you’ll eat mine.”

“Mhm.” I answered, dragging a french fry through gravy. Taking a bite thoughtfully. Groaning at the taste of the food because I realized just how hungry I actually was.

Steve chuckled, gazing at me. “Do I need to leave you two alone?”

I felt his arm go around the back of the booth. Brushing right against my shoulder. Normally, I’d politely move a little. But if I’m being totally honest here, I’m tired. So tired of fighting the way I feel. I managed to stop myself from resisting the urge to lean against his side though.

“That’s not so bad, is it?”

I sighed and gazed over at him. Smiling. “It’s not.”

From the kitchen, my nana called my name. Steve stood and I slipped out of the booth, making my way back. Clocking back in so I could finish waiting tables. By the time I’d done four more tables and was counting my tips for the night, Steve wasn’t sitting in the dining area anymore.

“You be careful getting home tonight, Jennie Bird.”

“Yes Nana.”

I didn’t have to look at her to know she was giving me a playful dirty look at what I’d called her. She sighed, the sound giving way to soft laughter. “Maybe get that handsome little beau of yours to give you a lift.”

“Nope. Absolutely not.”

“You are the most stubborn..” my grandmother teased gently, laughing as she shook her head.

I clocked out for the night, stepping out into the parking lot after counting down the drawer in the gas station area out front. Steve was standing outside, leaned against the cinderblock wall, his thumb hooked through his belt loop. Smoking a cigarette.

I glanced around to make sure my grandmother and her boyfriend weren’t looking or anything and I stopped beside him. Speaking up quietly. “Do you think you have another one of those?”

He chuckled, digging around in his pocket, producing a slightly crushed pack of Marlboro Reds. I took one and as I pressed it between my lips, he dug out a silver lighter and cupped his hands around the end, lighting my cigarette for me.

“You’re not afraid your grandmother’s gonna see?” Steve teased, grinning at me.

I laughed, shrugging as I exhaled, a plume of smoke creeping upwards into the sunset. “It’s more tame than her special brownies. I know for a fact it’s a thousand times tamer than anything my mom did at my age. I just don’t openly do it all the time around her because it’s a respect thing.”

“Ah. I get it, I think.” he nodded.

We stood there quietly. Staring up at the sky as the sun dipped lower. I really didn’t want to walk away, but one of us had to. I smiled, nodding towards the road. “I should probably get going.”

“I can drive you.” Steve offered.

“I’m fine. It’s only like a mile up the road.” I answered, swallowing hard. Dangerously close to caving, yet again. It’s getting so hard not to cave lately where he’s concerned and that kind of makes me panic just a little, truth be told.

“Yeah, but it’s getting late. And your feet have to be killing you by now.” he nodded to my boots. I shrugged, flashing him a smirk. “You’re a charmer, Steve.” I muttered as I rose up on my toes, fluffing his hair before stepping away, then turning to walk across the gravel parking lot and towards the road.

His BMW slowed to a stop beside me and he rolled down the window just as I started to walk towards my grandmother’s house. “C’mon.”

I eyed the car.

Then glanced at the road stretched out ahead. My feet were throbbing in these stupid boots because they weren’t broken in completely. I dragged my fingers through my hair, mulling it over.

“Take me straight home?”

“Anything you want, Jennie.” Steve promised, smiling at me. “Scouts honor.”

“You are a lot of things… Somehow I doubt boy scout was one of them, you charmer. Okay, fine.” I gave in, going around to the passenger side of the car and getting in.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he teased gently. I stuck out my tongue at him and reached for the dial on his radio until I found something other than his preferred usual pop station. He chuckled to himself, reaching out to lower the volume. “I missed you.”

“Aw, be still my beating heart.” I pretended to swoon. But something about the look in his eyes had me feeling like all the air escaped my lungs. Giddy. Lightheaded. And yet, underneath it all, that sense of calm.

The rest of the drive to my grandmother’s house was quiet. The air between us filled with this heavy and almost electric tension. Like I was waiting on something to happen, I just didn’t know what.

He pulled to a stop behind Hank’s beat down old Chevrolet truck and I went to open the door on the passenger side. I was about to get out, when he stopped me. “Same time Thursday?”

I smiled, nodding at him as I shut the  door to his BMW and started towards my front door on very shaky legs. Once I was inside, I pulled off my boots and flopped down on the sofa, letting out several long and shaky breaths.

“Heaven help me. That guy is… Something.” I drawled. Resting until I heard Barb and Nancy knocking at my grandmother’s door. I got up to let them in and we went upstairs to find towels to take down to the river with us.

Then we set off, walking through the woods. Laughter and conversation echoing in the night around us. Diving into the cold water with ear splitting shrieks. Splashing at each other noisily.

 We flopped onto our towels on the bank, gazing up at the stars as they started to come out. 

“I can’t believe summer’s almost over.” Barb lamented, shaking her head. “It seriously feels like school just ended.”

“I don’t want to go back to school yet. Yuck.” Nancy agreed, shaking her head. “I mean there’s another month and a half but it’s flying by too fast.”

“At least we got a few classes with each other. I’m dreading starting at a new school. I mean it’s not new, but still..” I sat up, facing the two of them.

“It won’t be that bad. You’ve got us.” Barb pointed out and I smiled, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right. It won’t be that bad.” I echoed her statement.

“Hey, Jennie?”

“Yeah, Nan?”

“Why won’t you just give in to Steve. It’s not exactly a secret you like him.” Nancy eyed me expectantly.

I mulled it over, shrugging. “Guess it’s just the fear I have that I’ll give in and then everything will go wrong and I’ll wind up losing my friend too.”

The truth was… so much more complex than that. And I couldn’t even begin to explain it to myself, let alone my two best friends. 

“I will say this much though.” I started, going quiet for a second or two and taking a deep breath, speaking up again after, “It’s getting harder to fight it off. I mean when I moved back here and we ran into each other again, that old crush came back and it came back ten-fold. Enough about my weird hangups.. Is there some reason you’re not finally going for it with Jonathan?” I eyed Nancy expectantly.

“Every time I try it’s like my brain freezes? I don’t know, okay?” she laughed, shaking her head about it. Barb smirked. “Both of you are cowards.”

“Excuse… Says the girl who almost threw up because Logan, the guy she likes, winked at her on the bus back from an away game?” Nancy teased and Barb scowled at her, sticking out her tongue. “I’ll have you know, ha freaking ha, Logan is actually taking me to a movie on Friday.”

“Oh?” Nancy eyed her, wiggling her brows.

“Oh my god, details.” I spoke up, tapping my foot as I gave her an expectant look. Barb launched into the whole thing and I smiled softly, content to listen. Catching up on what I’d missed in being gone so long.

“Y’all. We need to get back down to my nana’s. It’s getting dark thirty.” I stood, reaching down to grab hold of Barb’s hand, pulling her off the bank of the river. Barb pulled Nancy up and the three of us went running through the wood and back towards my grandmother’s house.

Once we got there, we ordered pizza and went out to the old treehouse we used to play in out back to set up for the night. 

And at one point, we wound up playing Truth or Dare.

And naturally, the first dare I was given was to say yes if Steve Harrington asked me out again…

[heartsandmuses]

tiktok famous

for @stonyweek​ 2020 // prompt: “social media”

steve rogers/tony stark. rated g. 1.8k. universe: mcu.

Two months after the rest of the team gets TikTok, Steve finally caves and makes an account of his own.

He doesn’t tell anyone though, because while his grasp on technology is better than what most would assume, part of the fun is letting people think he’s completely helpless. It’s made for some pretty amusing afternoons, between Clint trying to teach him for an hour straight exactly how to empty the recycle bin on his laptop and Bruce attempting to talk him through uploading a photo onto his Google Drive, and Steve figures that the team’s exasperation at his supposed tech incompetency might make for a few good videos.

And it does — his popularity soars seemingly overnight, and it’s only a matter of days before people start to catch on to the fact that Captain America’s making TikToks now and barely a week before he’s amassed hundreds of thousands of followers.

Unfortunately, that means the team’s caught on too.

It’s a bit of a disappointment that he can’t continue to be—as Clint would say—a troll, now that they know he’s not as much of an old man as previously thought, but there’s still plenty else he can do on the app. In the week after his account gets verified, Steve isn’t sure how many videos he gets dragged into, but between all the dance covers Natasha teaches him, all the easy food hacks Bruce does, and all the workouts Thor records, he’s certain that he’s made an appearance in well over a hundred drafts for the other Avengers’ profiles.

Not that he minds all that much. It gives him a chance to explore the full scope of TikTok in a way he probably wouldn’t on his own.

—   —   —

It’s Peter who introduces Steve to the concept of TikTok “challenges,” which, really, consist of anything ranging from simple choreography to lighthearted pranks, and Steve takes it upon himself to scroll through the kid’s profile for some fresh ideas.

It’s a slow weekend anyway, no missions planned or battles to fight, and the renovations in the gym thanks to Hulk’s latest tantrum means that all team training sessions are cancelled until next week. Outside, rain patters against the windows of the common room; the TV’s on low, playing a rerun of some competitive cooking show that Tony, sprawled out on the other side of the couch, fell asleep in front of, having lost interest about halfway through. Steve smiles as he lets his gaze trace over Tony’s profile—his messy hair, the curve of his nose, the way his eyelashes fan over his cheeks—and when his eyes finally turn back towards his phone...

Steve blinks.

Because the next video he lands on is tagged #KissYourBestFriendChallenge. And if he happened to miss the tiny print at the bottom of the screen, a text bubble pops up in the first few seconds with exactly the same words.

The video starts off innocently enough, with Peter and Ned laughing and joking around in what Steve assumes is Peter’s bedroom, both of them sitting on the floor with a half-finished Lego Death Star between them. Steve has the volume turned on low, but he can still hear Ned’s breathy Vader impression, as he holds up one of the figurines and walks it along the carpet. Peter laughs, and when his gaze shifts from the Lego figurine back up to Ned’s face, bright and beaming, his grin softens at the edges, expression turning into something much more... wistful and wanting and affectionate.

Something smitten.

Ned’s gaze meets Peter’s once again, and he trails off in the middle of his sentence when he sees him leaning in, closer and closer until their lips finally meet. It’s a tender kiss, a hesitant one, but Ned pulls away after a moment, partly in surprise and partly to search Peter’s face, a look of— of astonishment, of realization, coming over his own. And just like that, he leans back in and kisses him silly, smiling against Peter’s mouth.

Steve’s heart clenches, his eyes drifting back down to the bottom of the screen, and right next to the extensive list of hashtags, the caption reads: he feels the same way, followed by a row of heart emojis.

He’s known for a while that Peter’s been going out with Ned, but Steve had no idea that this is how they got together, and as he thinks about that look of mutual longing that they’d shared, he can’t help but glance back over at Tony, still blissfully asleep and snoring soundly.

—   —   —

Steve can’t get the idea out of his head.

It might have something to do with the fact that he’s spent the past few days going through the hashtag, watching as people have their dreams come true or—equally as often—dashed. But Steve’s a strategist, he needs to consider all possible outcomes before he can start to even plan, and while there’s a very large, very scared part of him that wants to call the whole thing off before it can even really begin, he knows, deep in his gut, that no better opportunity would ever present itself to tell Tony how he feels.

Steve’s brave, but he’s not the kind of brave that can go up to his best friend directly and confess his love to him. He’s learned that lesson all too well from silently pining around Bucky for the better part of a decade, and Steve knows he won’t be able to go through the same thing again. Even if Tony does reject him—which is a possibility he’s certainly preparing himself for—at least he’ll know for sure that he doesn’t have a chance, instead of being stuck in the familiar limbo of wondering and wanting and hoping.

And if that does happen, if Tony turns him down, Steve’s reassured by the fact that he can play it off as a joke, say it was all just for the challenge. That’s been his biggest concern in the past, whenever he would consider taking the leap and asking Tony out, the risk of something shattering between them. Their friendship, their closeness, what they have right now — none of it is worth throwing away just because Steve can’t tamp down his desire.

He’s thrown himself into some hastily thought-out plans in the past, but this one feels pretty foolproof.

—   —   —

Steve isn’t sure how it’s possible, really, but there’s just something about the sight of Tony laughing—crow’s feet crinkling at the corners of his eyes, lips curling into a grin—that makes him about ten times more handsome than he usually is. It’s just as heart-stopping as it is distracting, and it takes a good five minutes for Steve to even remember why he’d come down to the lab in the first place.

Officially, the excuse he gave Tony is that he needs some input on which TikTok to post next; unofficially, Steve’s just trying to calm his racing heart as he watches his best friend go through the entirety of his drafts folder, trying to muster up every ounce of courage he has, for one little moment. One little kiss.

“I think this one’s a real winner,” Tony says, turning the phone back towards Steve, and on the screen is a time-lapse of him sketching the Tower. He has a few others like that up on his profile already, quick little drawings of the common room or of the team, and Steve realizes with some embarrassment that if Tony went into his camera roll he would find more than a few real-time recordings of Steve sketching full pages of those warm, brown eyes and those long, fanning eyelashes. “The pranks and storytimes are fun and all, but I like the videos of your art the best.”

There’s such a startling sincerity in his words that it makes Steve’s heart skip a beat. He feels warm and nervous all at once, stomach churning and palms sweating, and he gets so lost in the adoring look in Tony’s eyes that he doesn’t notice for a long moment how close they really are. And it doesn’t stop, either. They just keep getting closer and closer and—

Steve’s leaning in, he realizes. He’s leaning in and he can see Tony’s tongue dart out to wet his lips, can see Tony’s gaze dropping to Steve’s mouth, can see a flicker of want in his eyes, pure and desperate, and that’s all Steve needs to know before he kisses him.

For days all he could imagine were the countless ways that Tony might let him down gently, pulling back with a laugh and a friendly squeeze to his shoulder, shaking his head and telling him that they’re better off as friends. But Tony doesn’t do any of that. He kisses back almost instantly, hands coming up to cup Steve’s cheeks, and Steve absolutely melts into the touch. It’s sweet and gentle and perfect, and now that he doesn’t have to worry about playing it off as a prank anymore, he pours everything he’s feeling into it — everything he’s been feeling, for all these years. All of his longing, his fondness, his desire.

All of his love.

The kiss seems to last somewhere between a second and an eternity, and when he finally pulls back to look into Tony’s eyes, he can see it all, every thought and feeling written out so clearly in his expression, a picture-perfect mirror of his own. Steve smiles, as a rush of relief fills his chest, and he can’t help but lean in again, just as his heart flutters and his stomach swoops and he thinks, with absolute certainty, he feels the same way.

—   —   —

JARVIS catches the entire exchange on video for him, along with the elated and impromptu make-out session that had ensued immediately afterwards, and while Steve plays back the footage of that initial kiss at least a hundred times, smiling stupidly at his phone, he doesn’t upload it.

It just feels too... intimate, too personal, for the rest of the world to see, at least right now. Steve just wants to keep the moment—and Tony—to himself for a little longer, and so, what he posts instead is the time-lapse of him drawing the large, looming Tower and the cityscape surrounding it.

—   —   —

Days later, he posts another sped-up sketch. This time, it’s one of Tony, with that big, gorgeous grin, that familiar twinkle in his eyes; it’s the exact expression that came over his face after Steve had kissed him, and it feels good, committing it not only to memory, but to paper as well.

But his followers aren’t completely clueless, he knows that, and it’s over the next few weeks—during which Steve gets a little more confident in uploading his drawings of Tony—that they begin to suspect something might be going on between the two of them.

Steve, of course, never outright confirms nor denies their claims, though he does, three months into their relationship, film that “walk into the room naked and record your boyfriend’s reaction” challenge, and that pretty much says it all.

[femreader]

The Writer - Natasha Romanoff

Request:  the reader is working as a shield agent closely with the avengers, during one mission she ends up risking herself for Natasha because surprise surprise, she has feelings.

Summary: Y/N has a rare talent with pen and paper. 

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Warnings: a bullet wound, some shooty mctooty, also I am sorry if your name is Mia!!

“Why don’t we take Y/L/N with us,” Bucky wondered one-day out loud, as he, Sam, Steve, and Wanda were getting ready to go ambush a Hydra base. From a secured resource they had got a hint of something bigger brewing in the terrorist group, possibly another take on genocide. This time not wanting to take any chances Steve had immediately asked Wanda to accompany them. 

Sam gave Steve a look, asking whether it was fine they’d go ahead and explain the newly recruited (and now much better feeling) addition, why in fact one of their best fighters was most of the time situated in her own room, only company being books, paper, and a pen. Her gift, or curse however you looked at it was a very carefully cherished secret of SHIELD, only the elite of the elite knew she even possessed such power. 

Steve huffed slightly as they walked into the jet. Turning off all the comms in case they were already connected to the base before turning to his best friend. 

“Y/N is a kind of safety factor. She usually handles kidnaps and stuff like that,” He said while they all buckled up and Steve turned on the engine. Bucky furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t pressure it anymore, respecting the privacy. 

“But... she doesn’t get bored?” He asked, making a slight face. Knowing himself he’d be bored to death in less than three hours if he didn’t get to do anything. Steve, Sam, and Wanda looked at each other amused, sending prayers for Clint, Nat, and Carol for being stuck at the HQ with Y/N.

___

“I am booooooooored,” Y/N dramatically whined as she walked into the kitchen, dragging her pajama pants covered legs like a slug. She had stolen a pair from Tony so they were too long for her. 

Y/N took out a cereal box and dug into it, looking for the prize inside. It was an amusing picture, watching a twenty-something-year-old go through the entire box of Captain Crunch for one color changing spoon. In Y/N’s defense, she hadn’t had the possibility to go to a mission in three months and all the reality TV-shows were starting to run out. 

Captain Marvel herself, had decided to grace them all with her presence for a couple of days. Carol followed amused by her set on the sofa while reading some of the mission files from a while ago. A smug smile appeared on her face when she noticed the jealous look Y/N didn’t even bother to hide. 

“I am going to die from boredom and then you guys don’t have anyone to save your asses anymore,” The human contemplated while sitting down with the cereal. She took huge handfuls and shoved them into her mouth, Carol cringed at her habits. 

“Well, you and Nat are fine. The others are screwed,” Y/N continued and opened her old and worn notebook. The pages were slightly yellow and crumpled from turning. 

“You’ve been keeping score?” Carol half-jokingly asked as she moved to another mission file. To her surprise, Y/N had in fact kept score on how many times she had been asked to go to the field to help her friends. All of the team members had their names written on one of the pages and an equivalent number of lines next to them. Clint had five, Steve three, Wanda and Thor were at respectful one, Sam was at four, Carol and Natasha had zero. Bucky was also at a big fat zero, but Y/N decided it was because he had only been on three missions, soon the recklessness would rub off of Steve to Bucky and they’d get into all sorts of trouble. 

“Well, then, let’s just hope you’ll die quickly then,” Carol darkly joked, earning a slap to her arm. 

“Who’s dying,” Natasha walked in, wearing her usual training gear. She and Clint had the turn on training the new recruits. Y/N was glad she was never given the position, mostly because she didn’t know jack-shit about teaching someone else, but also because it gave her a chance to watch the Black Widow in action while pretending to draw or write. 

Y/N made a low squeak and got up from the sofa, Carol’s little shake of her head didn’t go unnoticed. Y/N stuck her tongue out and went to put the cereal box back into the cupboard. Natasha quipped an eyebrow at Carol, surprised to see Ms.” I’m-always-in-my-room” actually outside. 

“You two hopefully,” Y/N scowled at their teasing while skipping out of the kitchen and back to somewhere where she could die from embarrassment in peace. 

Okay so maybe Y/N had a crush on Natasha, just a tiny itsy-bitsy crush. But who wouldn’t have, she was most likely the most stunning woman alive, she knew exactly how to pressure people to talk, she knew exactly how to manipulate the bad guys into spilling their beans like asking a golden retriever fetch a stick. The whole six years Y/N had been working with SHIELD, three of them she had been slightly pining after the redhead, but never having the courage to do anything about it (much to the dismay of Sam and Clint). That and the fact she up until half a year ago she was together with her now ex-girlfriend. 

___

It was two weeks later when Y/N was awoken from her nice, deep day nap by her pager. It hadn’t rung in almost four months, so immediately when it reached her ears in her dream of Candyland Y/N was basically half-dressed and out of her room. She jumped out, took her notebook and ran down the stairs, her hair messed up and her two-day-old t-shirt and sweats on. 

There already was Clint waiting with her, when he saw Y/n run down he thrust an ear comm into her hands and already began walking towards the jets. 

“They sent Steve, Bucky, and Nat ahead.”

“What went wrong?” Y/N asked knowing they wouldn’t be going after an already active mission if there wasn’t one of their team members' lives on the line. Clint pushed in a bypass code on the jets activation pad and took a hold of the wheel. 

“Apparently the source was unreliable.”

Y/N made a slight hissing voice, she knew they had been after some sorts of diaries holding the information for Hydra’s next massive genocide and where the trio had been sent was supposedly the last place to withhold said diaries. Whatever had happened it must have been years in the making on Hydra’s behalf or then they had been screwed over by some of the new recruits sent to do fieldwork. 

“Old plan? Get them out,” Y/N asked as she put on her hair and put on a protective bullet vest over her thin jacket. It felt weird to wear it after so long, it was kind of like a hug. Welcome back to the job. 

“Get them out,” Clint confirmed as they lowered on the ground. They could hear the sounds of the bullets and screams the second they opened the back hatch. Y/N went to the east side while Clint went to the west. 

Y/N stopped by an old bunker, which fortunately wasn’t in use at the moment and looked around, pondering how she could use the situation and her knowledge at hand for their advantage. She clicked her pen and drew a quick sketch of a man running in the woods. Soon enough after blowing on it the shadow moved to run behind the trees and the shooters took the bait. As they were too busy shooting at the nonexistent being Y/N made her away inside the building. 

It was eerily quiet, much, much quieter than outside. 

“Guys, this is Y/N. Are you all alright? Where are you?” She carefully asked while hiding behind a wall. Her earpiece crackled for a second. She could hear the voice speaking, echo down the hallway. 

“I’m with Steve, we don't’ know where NAt is.”

Y/N jogged down the hallway, and soon enough was faced with the two super-soldiers, both of them very beaten up and hanging on each other like they were about to fall over.

“It’s just me,” She held up her hands. “Clint and I brought a jet, it’s a mile to the south, I’ll go find Nat, where did you see her last time.”

“North wing,” Steve said. “You take bucky, I’ll go get her.” 

“Steve you can both barely stand up, let alone possibly carry someone else out of here,” Y/N disagreed, already halfway the hallway towards the north wing. 

“You guys go to the jet and don’t die. I’ll be there with nat as soon as I find her.” 

___

“Nat do you copy,” Y/N tired once again after walking around aimlessly the north wing, not seeing even a hint of the red-haired assassin. She clutched her notebook tightly. 

“Nat? Are you even alive?” She murmured darkly. Sounds of fighting echoed down the hallway and Y/N sprang into action. Sort of relief washed over her when she recognized the missing agent in the midst of chaos, but it was soon replaced with worry. Rolling her lips together Y/N flipped the pages until she saw the old drawing of a pistol, blowing on it, the gun appeared on the floor beside her. 

Y/N shot the three closest Hydra agents and grabbed Natasha blindly by her arm. 

“Nice seeing you too!” Y/N chuckled dryly at the assassin as they half ran half jogged down the hallway and into a random storage room. 

It was empty, cold and very much a dead end. 

“Oh, Jesus, Nat!” Y/N exclaimed when she noticed the big stain of red on Natasha’s side. It wouldn’t have worried her so much had it not been growing bigger by every second. 

Natasha saw her Y/N’s look and mustered up a smirk, holding her side in the hopes the burning would stop. “Welcome back Y/L/N. Missed the work?” 

The sounds of the barricade being broken began to grow louder and Y/N swallowed thickly. They were stuck many feet down, with only one half loaded handgun and one very seriously damaged assassin. She blew a hair out of her face while taking off her bullet vest and then the jacket. Y/N heard Nat slightly groan when she wrapped it around the bullet wound. 

“Sorry,” Y/N breathed out and spoke to the comm. “Clint, I found Nat can you copy? Steve? Someone?”

“We’re too deep, the signal’s shit in here,” Natasha grumbled, slightly wincing at the sounds of their possibly imminent death. Y/N’s heart was drilling through her chest as she pressed on the clothed wound, her hands red. 

“I might have an idea,” She said warily and looked at Natasha, whose piercing green eyes were already looking at her. Had it now been a situation where both of them were on the verge of death, Y/N just might have blurted out she loved her. 

“How much do you trust me?” She asked Nat. 

“A lot more if you get us out of here,” The assassin said and Y/N nodded. She took out her notebook and flipped to the age where was a picture of her room. Natasha cocked an eyebrow after seeing the very detailed picture of Y/N’s room. 

“I drew it just in case, but I haven’t really before tired this,” Y/N mumbled as she did her best to draw both of them there. “This is going to hurt.”

Squeezing her eyes shut Y/N blew on the page and just as the doors were kicked down, Natasha and Y/N were pulled into a swirl of colors and lead, stretched and pulled until they laid on her bedroom floor. Both of them were breathing rather loudly. 

“It worked,” Y/N stated in disbelief. “Holy shit it actually worked. You alright- Oh fuck,” She noticed the amount of blood now oozing out of Nat’s side. Y/N cringed when she felt the warm, sticky liquid on her hands again as she picked up Nat with the best of her ability. 

___

“Here you go kiddo,” Tony gave Y/N back her notebook, which was still slightly tainted with blood on some of the pages. She took it into her now clean hands and huffed at the sight of her rug. 

“Need to get that cleaned too. Or just get a new one, it was ugly anyway,” She chuckled. Tony gave her a lopsided smile. 

“You alright?” he asked, looking at Y/N who was sporting some nice bags underneath her eyes. She looked up at him with a smile and nodded. 

“After a long, long nap,” She joked and leaned back in her bed. Once Tony had left the room, Y/N sat up again, looking at her notebook. The picture of her and Nat was still on it, she hadn’t had the heart to wipe it away just quite yet. Instead, she turned a couple of pages back and with a hint of a triumphant smile drew one line next to Natasha’s name. 

“I’m going outside,” Y/N declared a month later, her notebook, wallet, phone, and keys in her bag slung over her shoulder. She smiled at Pepper who was working on some sort of castle with Morgan before going down on the elevator. 

It was a nice and warm summer day, and the ice cream was on sale. Y/N thought it would be the best chance of escape to get out of the headquarters, and a certain redhead. Not that it was that hard to avoid Natasha as she seemed to already be dodging on seeing Y/N anywhere. 

Y/N did her best not to let it get to her head but it still did annoy her. 

“One (y/f/flavor) thanks,” She leaned to the small kiosk’s counter, waiting for the teenage girl to make her ice cream. The park was full of people enjoying the summer, kids running around, parents being worried about them. A couple of teenagers just hanging out and having a picnic. Y/N huffed at the couples, wondering if she and her ex ever even went to a picnic. Or even a date to begin with. 

“Thank you,” Y/N took the ice cream, not able to even have one lick before a very familiar and extremely unwelcome voice rang out, accompanied with another set of footsteps. Y/N cursed in her head for not being more aware of her circumstances. 

“Hi, Mia,” Y/N’s lips rolled into a tight line as her left hand rested on her bag and her right one held the ice cream. 

Mia was looking exactly the same as a year ago when they had broken up. Her slender long legs, full of fake tan glowed in the sun as she was wearing some high waisted shorts and a blouse with a couple of buttons undone. Her Paris Hilton sunglasses rested over her blonde mop of straight hair, and Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what did he ever even see in her. 

Mia popped a bubble gum and chewed it theatrically. 

“Y/N, fancy seeing you here.” 

“it’s literally a park, for civilians,” Y/N blinked her eyes. Mia mumbled a whatever and pretended to brush some dirt off of her blouse. Y/N noted the other girl, stand behind her, she was the exact version of Mia but a brunette version. 

“Yeah, but you weren’t ever the one to socialize right?” Mia said knowing she hit a nerve. Y/N had always been a bit shy as a kid and as a teenager, after being recruited to SHIELD she had started to come out of her shell. The biggest reason had been the fact how many times she had been called a freak because of her talent with pen and paper. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” Mia said suddenly, sounding everything except sorry. “I just thought, well no one wants to actually be with a freak? Right?” She looked at Y/N, who was squinting her eyes at her. Before Y/N could properly complete the murder plan she was coming up within her head another person, a person Y/N did not expect to accompany her, appeared next to her. 

“And that’s why she broke up with you,” Nat said in a weird sweet voice. Y/N couldn't help but slightly chuckle at Mia’s and, her who she presumed was her girlfriend’s, gaping mouths as Natasha casually had her arm around Y/N’s waist. Y/N had to hide her smile behind her ice cream and ate it. 

“C’mon hun, let’s go,” the redhead said. 

“Sure, one thing though,” Y/N smiled to her and walked up to Mia. “Here, to cool your hothead,” She stated and smashed the ice cream on top of Mia’s head. Y/N didn’t stay to follow the aftermath, instead, she turned around to Natasha, who was smirking at her. 

“You should be resting,” Y/N noted as they walked away from the screaming blonde, Nat’s hand still around Y/N’s waist. Her cheeks were flared up and her heart was about to drill through her chest, but she didn’t want to move away. 

“Well, I thought I owe you a coffee date.” 

“And some explanations,” Y/N added, later on almost choking on her spit when thinking about Natasha’s words. 

[stevesnailbat]

fear of the (un)known | steve harrington

chapter seven : happier 

summary: Grace, or 007 as she had been called, finally escaped Hawkins Lab after seventeen long years. But, freedom is a lot harder than she thought it would be to maintain.

warnings: pining once again, a little angsty

word count: 2.0K

a/n: this chapter took forever so my bad!! but there’s a time jump and everything is about to get a lot more interesting after this one!! hopefully I'll be more consistent with chapters 8 through 12 :) gif by @harringtown

read the rest HERE!

-june 1985-

“So you’re telling me that you didn’t even know when your birthday was until you were sixteen? Like, not a single 'happy birthday' or any kind of celebration during the whole time you were there?” Lucas implores, plopping down next to Max on Hopper’s couch.

“They were in a lab, dipshit. It's not like they were at some fun summer camp or something.” Steve quips, shoving Lucas' shoulder lightly as he leaned against the back of the couch. 

“The most fun I ever had in the lab was when they’d let me stay out of my room for the day, if you’d even call that fun. I found my own fun in messing with people’s minds when I was younger.” Grace retorts, a small smile passing over her face for a moment.

“What about you, El?” Max asks, facing the girl sitting next to Mike on the couch. “Did you ever get to celebrate anything?”

El only shook her head, looking from Max over to Grace, a sad look on her face. Grace rubs her hand along El’s shoulder for a moment, knowing that she hated thinking about the small details and bad memories of being in the lab. 

“So, it’s settled then.” Max says, a smile lighting up her face as an idea crossed her mind.

“What’s settled?” Mike interjects snidely, making Max’s eyes narrow in his direction. 

“Grace just said that her eighteenth birthday is this weekend, right?” Max snaps, watching the rest of them nod. “El said she’s never had any birthday celebration either. So, let’s give them both a birthday party!”

“You guys really don’t have to—“

“Oh c’mon, Grace! It’ll be fun!” Max pleads, and Mike, Lucas and Will nod excitedly. 

“I don’t need a party, I can assure you that.” Grace insists, shaking her head while smiling kindly at the redhead. “But we can celebrate El’s birthday in place of mine.”

El’s eyes light up at the thought of celebrating with all of her friends, which warms Grace’s heart. She gives her a look as if to say ‘thank you’ for giving them the idea, and Grace ruffles her hair lovingly. 

“Alright, enough talk about this, we can work out all the details later. Right now, I need to get you all home before I get yelled at or accused of losing you all.” Steve interjects, throwing his chin up as he points to the door, motioning for the kids to get up. 

Everyone says their goodbyes and the kids head out the door to go towards the BMW in the drive. Steve shoots a small smile and wave in Grace’s direction before turning to leave the house, closing the front door behind him. Grace could feel her heart skip a beat merely because of the eye contact they just had. She knew she was in too deep to lose the crush she had on him to simply be his friend. She stared at the spot that Steve last stood for a little longer than anticipated, only breaking from her thoughts at the sound of El’s giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Grace asks, quirking her eyebrows questionably at the smiling girl next to her. 

“You like Steve.” she replies simply, making Grace’s eyes go wide momentarily.

“Only as a friend, El.” Grace says calmly, trying not to blush at her blunt statement. “That’s it.” 

El gives her an incredulous smile, as if to tell her that she’s not very believable. Grace huffs quietly at El, chewing on her lip as she wracks her brain for something to say to cover up her feelings. She didn’t want everyone knowing what she was feeling, even though it was quite obvious to everyone around. 

“Even if I did like Steve, I would never do anything about it.” she said weakly, biting back the feeling of sadness she felt at the words she spoke. “He thinks I’m just the crazy girl who showed up in his backyard and got into his mind a few times.”

The look on El’s face showed that she didn’t believe a word coming from Grace’s mouth once again. El knew that there was some kind of feelings between the two of them. She’d seen the way Grace would sneak long, admiring glances at Steve while he was reading to her at the table, and she’d noticed how willing he was to do almost anything to help her. They kept coming back together, but neither of them wanted to admit why. 

El only shook her head at Grace’s answer before standing up from the couch, heading towards her room without a word. Grace didn’t have the words to describe how she really felt, but she knew that, in her mind, El did. 

For the next two days, Grace and El didn’t hear much from the party. Of course, El talked on the phone with Mike and would visit with him—with supervision by Grace or Hop—at the cabin, but that was the extent of it. They were both becoming a curious about the sudden disconnect. Little did they know, Steve and the kids were planning a birthday party for both of them throughout the course of those two missing days.

When the Saturday came, El got a call from Mike around 3 p.m., telling her that he was leaving his house to ride over to the cabin. She was excited as usual, just the thought of seeing Mike bringing a smile to her face. Seeing the way El lit up around him made Grace’s chest ache, but her heart swell. She wanted something like that, something that would make her smile the way seeing Mike made El smile. 

Thirty minutes passed and there was a knock on the front door. El rushed past where Grace and Hopper were sitting in the living room, hurrying to open the door with a smile on her face. The smile on her face faltered slightly when she opened the door to see how many people were there. The party and Steve stood on the other side of the door, balloons, gifts, cake and pizza boxes in tow.  

“Surprise!” the kids say in unison, making Grace and Hopper turn to see what was happening at the door.

They all walked inside, setting everything down as they piled into the living room and kitchen area. Grace stood from the couch as she looked over to Hopper in the recliner next to her, who had a small smile on his lips. She walked over to the kitchen, heart filling with warmth at the sight of El’s grin. Max looked over to her and El after setting the balloons down, watching as El skipped past her to talk to Mike. Grace had noticed that El ignored the girl, but had never brought it up. She pulled Max into a quick hug, a smile still stuck on her face. 

“Thank you for doing this for her, I’m sure she really appreciates it. Even if she doesn't say it to you directly.” Grace says thankfully.

“Don’t thank me, thank Steve for putting all of this together.” she says, pointing at Steve, who was already digging into the pizza they brought. “He planned it all and even put your name on the cake and got you a present.”

Grace’s stomach was in knots now, the thought of Steve putting in that much effort for her making her feel nauseous. She looked over to him, locking eyes with him for a long moment. Steve smiled at her, completely skipping past the pain in her eyes as she smiled back. She walked towards him, reaching for a plate to grab some pizza too. 

“You didn’t have to do that, y’know.” Grace says quietly to him, peering over at him with a hesitant gaze as he furrowed his brows. “You didn’t have to make the party for me too, I told you it should just be about El.”

“It’s no big deal, Grace. It is your actual birthday after all. You’re an adult now, you’re free. You deserve some kind of celebration.” Steve insists, nudging her shoulder as he continued to eat. 

The pain in her stomach grew deeper as Steve said that she was free, because she knew she was far from it. She was far from being able to celebrate anything. But, she forced a smile onto her face to show appreciation for the nice gesture. Grace was truly grateful for everything he did, but knew it wasn’t just out of the kindness of his heart. She knew he was forcing his feelings down too. It was better that way. They both knew it. 

The celebration continued with bubbly chatter and laughing. The kids carried on happy conversations about comics and new movies coming to theaters soon while Grace and Steve listened passively, neither of them saying much to the other. The scene in front of Grace was enough to make her smile, really. Seeing them all happy and content made her feel at home, like she was finally growing into a normal life again. 

Steve couldn’t help but notice the smile on her face, and couldn’t help but stare at her longingly. He felt himself getting lost in her smile for a moment, a feeling of adoration spreading through his body as he did. A rough hand on his shoulder shook him from his thoughts, Hopper had noticed the trance he was in and had to break him from it. Steve’s cheeks grew hot at the thought of getting caught, but Grace didn’t notice the interaction at all.

“How about you bring over those presents you brought?” Hopper suggests to Steve, making Grace and El snap their heads in their direction. 

“Oh—Right, yeah. I’ll get those.” Steve stammers, standing up from the chair abruptly to grab the gift bags. 

Steve handed the bags to Grace and El, and each of them dug into them quickly. El’s smile grew even wider—if that was even possible—when she saw the comics and mixtapes inside the bag from her friends. Grace pulled out several movies and some mixtapes, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the mix of presents in front of her. 

“You said Hop wasn’t too fond of you reading so much, so I thought you’d like some movies and music instead.” Steve says, picking up one of the movies from the table to look at it. 

“You really didn’t have to do this—“

“But I wanted to do it. So, just accept the gifts, Grace.” Steve laughs bitterly, raising his eyebrows at the frown that crossed her face. “This is what friends are for.”

“Thank you, Steve.” she says, pulling him in for a quick hug. “You’re a great friend.”

There was something about hearing the word ‘friend’ slip from her lips that made Steve nauseous. Of course, he had just called her a friend, but it seemed all too real when she said it to him. He forced a smile as she pulled away, watching as she let her eyes flicker from his quickly to avoid his gaze. Steve felt like his heart was being ripped out by the thought of never being able to find out what life would be like with Grace, it was all he wanted. But it was better that way, things were better with them as just friends. 

So, he sucked it up and hid his emotions, like he always did. He watched her from afar, seeing the smile on her face as she talked about the movies he bought with Max and Will. The only thing he wanted was for her to be happy, and this was how it had to be for that to happen. 

tags: @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @daddystevee @queenofthehairharrington @heart-eye-harrington @hystericalmedicine @a-magey @lemonypink @karasong @batbatsupermanme @used-avocado @letscici @igotmadskills @mikariell95 @anerroroccurrrrred @blueberrylemontea-fanfic @ilovebucketbarnes @bravest-at-heart

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (17/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left.  It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Chapter Summary: New bonds.  

Word Count: 5,2K

Warnings for this chapter: fluff again (don’t get used to it), children, mutual pining.  

 A/N: @suz-123 is my angel and I love her. Here I am writing fluff again. I suspect this is why I’ve taken longer than most times to write this chapter, lol. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.  Links are ruining posts, you can find the masterlist link on my description.

 It´s been four weeks since Bucky has shown up unannounced to the ultrasound appointment- that he discovered by himself after some private research, he told you- and you still can’t shake off a stupid smile from your face.  Without a doubt, these have been the best weeks of your pregnancy so far. Everything seems to be great with the baby, who, according to Doctor Nadine and her team, is healthier than normal, developing better than expected. It seems to be so because the serum Hydra has used on Bucky altered his genetics system and its goodies have passed to the baby.

Bucky has been present in all of the appointments, right at your side the entire time, listening carefully and asking every single question he had.  His presence, soothing and grounding, keeping you steady throughout the whole thing. You know he had been worried to death about the possibility of being responsible for any complications to the baby. The news that everything was ok was a huge relief for him too, despite you still sensing in him a deep worry about how the enhancement on its system would affect the baby's life in general.  A concern you both share.

However, for now, you both have been trying to stay positive and focusing on finding a pace – the right one- to reconnect and shape your relationship as parents of your child. Aside from the appointments and some occasional times he drops by to see how’s everything with you and the peanut, you have also been talking on the phone, whether through voice calls or text messages.  Not a day goes by without you talking to each other.

You’re not gonna lie, it still feels awkward at times. You’ve never been friends to Bucky. Before your intense and passionate relationship, you two were nothing but acquainted co-workers. And after that, you’re not sure what the two of you have become. Now, on top of that, it’s not like you two can just turn into friends. You’re going to have a kid together, for God's sake. Yeah, it’s still awkward.

The conversations have been centered exclusively on the baby and anything that concerns them. That's why you don’t know if something has changed between him and Anna, if they have talked or anything. You prefer it that way. It’s a sensitive topic to him, but it’s the same for you. You’ve taken the part of trying and being the bigger person, saying you didn't blame her, that you understood her point of view, giving him advice about his relationship with her… and it was in good nature, but… thinking about him and her together has never been easy and you suspect it never will be.

Oh, well… It's hard. Something you should discuss more with Heloise in therapy. She gave you a strawberry lollipop saying it was positive reinforcement for your civilized conversation with Bucky. You wonder what she would have in store for you when you truly become able to talk about and live through the jealousy that takes over you every time a thought of him and Anna together pops into your mind. 

You continued going to the support group encounters, you feel like you’re not completely alone anymore, but the group, giving justice to its name, has truly become an important support system for you. Plus, it’s an easy way for you to see Harry regularly, who was pleased to know about things taking a turn to a better path with you and Bucky. You and Harry ended up going to the Hot-Dog trailer next to the group’s place - the one you missed because of the car accident - and then you scheduled for you to finally meet his kids, which you were excited and anxious about, you had heard so much about them you felt like you already knew each one of his little chipmunks, like he called them affectionately.  

You had planned for a picnic in their favorite park, but the rainy day forced you to move the party over to the common room at the Tower’s living quarters. Wanda has helped you set everything up, moving the furniture to place the big cloth in the center of the room, spreading pillows to accommodate everyone as you prepared the snacks with all the goodies Harry had told you the kids liked. You also put some toys and games for the kids – and for the adults, who are you kidding? You live amongst children.

That’s where you are now, along with Harry and the vivacious Luna and Jon, the three year olds that make sure to remind you every five minutes that they are turning four in a week. Luna is the spitting image of her father with her dark curls falling graciously over her big brown eyes laced with curiosity as she keeps them glued on you. Jon must’ve taken his looks from his mother, with a lighter tone on his straight short hair and his eyes are green with shades of blue. He seems quieter than Luna, who takes the lead and asks all the questions and tells all the stories, allowing her brother to make a comment or two. In his shyness, he reminds you of his father.

Wanda joins you, and soon so do Steve and Sam, who had arrived from a mission the day before. Tony’s absent on a solo mission of his own, much to the kids' disappointment, which is reinforced by the Iron Man images on both of their shirts. Crazy for kids as much as she is, Nat is there, but she has mostly been giving you the silent treatment lately, as a result of your decision of making the baby’s sex a secret. You can only wonder what she’s been putting Bucky into.

You keep a huge smile on your face as, right in front of you, across the picnic cloth, Wanda uses her powers and the red mist to make moving drawings in the air, prompted by all sorts of excited and loud requests from the kids, whether it’s a dog, a sheep- no, a bigger sheep, an elephant, Iron Man fighting that big purple monster, or daddy with those colored swords he likes…

“They’re called lightsabers. God, how many times do I have to tell you this, guys? Show some respect…” He sighs at your side, looking at you and shaking his head in frustration as he’s completely ignored by his kids, who keep the row of requests to Wanda. 

You chuckle; prompting him to smile at you, “They’re really awesome,” you whisper, bumping his sides with your elbow, as everyone else around the cloth seems drawn by the kids energy and interested in Wanda’s little performance.

“They are, aren’t they?” He beams at you, “Thanks for this by the way, they’re having so much fun.”

“Oh, no. I’ve been wanting to meet them for so long,” You dismiss him with a wave, before grabbing a handful of popcorn. Chewing on it, you cackle at Wanda’s latest art:  a Chihuahua pulling The Falcon by the wings while Captain America tries to catch them. Sam shots some protests, but the burst of belly laughs from the kids is undeniably contagious.

When you look back at Harry, you’re still laughing as the others, but he is not. Instead, he’s observing you while holding a half smile on his lips, “What?” You frown at him.

“You look happier. I like it. It’s a great look on you.”

You offer him a wide grin as you feel a wave of warmth overcoming your chest… and rushing to your cheeks.

“Daddy,” the high-pitched, but sweet voice makes you both turn to Luna, now directing her narrowed eyes and full attention to both of you as she stands on her knees over the pillow.

“Yes, chipmunk?” He says, bringing a plastic cup of orange juice to his mouth. 

“Is Y/N the girl you’ve been talking to on your phone all the time and then stay with that funny smile on your face and does like this?” She exaggerates a deep and long sigh to show what she’s talking about.

Harry chokes on the juice, as all eyes snap to the direction where you two are seated. Wanda hides a laugh with her hand and Nat sips on her coffee, but you glimpse the devilish smirk on her lips. Sam and Steve pretend to focus on the little checkers board they’ve been playing with when you glance at them.   

“Luna!” Harry shrieks, trying to glare at the little girl between coughs.

You frown at his embarrassment, a disproportionate reaction on your opinion.

“What? What have I said wrong?” Luna pouts adorably and stands on her feet, crossing her arms in front of her little body.

“Daddy didn’t want us to know, yet, Luna.” Little Jon whispers loudly, pulling the hem of his sister’s shirt.

Wanda laughs fully and loudly while Nat sports a proud smirk at the two siblings, probably pleased by the spying skills the kids are showing.

“Jon!” Harry exasperates, eyes roaming around everyone in the circle, before turning to you, dumbfounded and red as a pepper, “That’s not-this isn’t-”

“Calm down, Harry.” You laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder.

You’re sure you’re not the girl the kids are referring to, that’s not what your relationship with Harry is about, but he hasn’t told you anything about someone that makes him sigh and now you’re curious, especially because he’s acting like a deer caught in the headlights. Before you can torture him with teasing you hear someone cleaning their throat, catching your look. 

Bucky stands by the door, with a bag in his hands and an unreadable expression on his face.

“Bucky,” you exclaim, feeling the inevitable tug at the corner of your lips, but trying to ignore your heart skipping a beat. How long has he been there? Has he heard anything? As happy as you are to see him, you can’t help the hint of apprehension at the  pit of your stomach that makes your heart falter, you know he still has reservations towards Harry and you really don’t want him to assume anything, which is bullshit, of course, you and Bucky have nothing and if you wanted you could date whoever, of course, that’s definitely settled between the two of you. Was the room this hot before?  

Bucky nods timidly at you and at the others, who chant their greetings all at once:  “Hey, Buck,” “Hey, Man,” “Barnes”. 

“Come on in, we ́re having a picnic,” You wave him in from your spot, swallowing down any trepidation and kicking the inner rambling off of your mind, focusing on his presence only.

“Oh no, it's ok. I can come another time,” He answers in a small voice. Recoiling his shoulders, he presses his lips in a tense line. 

The protests from everybody – except from Harry, who seems to be trying to make himself invisible at your side- resound around the place while the kids fasten their curious eyes on the new person in the room.

Knowing damn well how uncomfortable Bucky is capable of feeling when he’s in the spotlight, you raise your brows at Wanda, which is enough to make her promptly go back to entertaining the kids, now lifting the food over the cloth to the air. The sounds of bewilderment coming from the tiny little creatures distract everyone else as you get up, using the sofa behind you as a support for your growing body.

“Come on, Barnes, you made a pregnant woman get up from the floor just to drag you by the ear. I’m a mom now, I can do that,” You taunt, getting closer to him, twisting your expression into a mocked scowl.

Letting out a heart-fluttering smile that ignites one of your own, he relents, stepping into the room and shooting that fondly look at your growing belly, like he does every time he sees you.

“Hi,” you softly say when he stands inches from you.

“Hey, I called you a couple of times, and you didn't answer my messages, I got worried,” He cringes.

“I must’ve left my phone in my room, but it's ok, Bucky, you don't need an excuse to drop by,” You assure in a teasing manner, before your eyes drop to the bag in his hand, “What do we have here?”

“Oh, on my way over, I saw this and I couldn't help it.” With a broad smile on his face, he pulls the object from the bag.

Your eyes go round and you practically squeal, grabbing the little colorful unicorn, “This is amazing, Bucky, so damn cute. And fluffy.” You squeeze the soft little stuffy against your chest.

He chuckles, brushing a lock of his own hair behind his ear, “I bought it for the peanut, but I suppose you can play with it, too.”

You roll your eyes and pull your tongue out playfully.

“Hello.”

At the tiny voice who takes you and him out of your little bubble, you see his eyes going comically round, before he lowers his head to follow the sound. Luna stands beside him, with her hands laced behind her back and mischievous interest plastered on her sweet features.  

“Hi.” His stumpy answer is a bit more than a whisper.

“I’m Luna,” the girl says her name proudly to him, “I’ll be four years old in a week. What’s your name?”

“Bucky.” He replies shortly.

As little Jon runs to stand beside his sister, you choose to remain a silent observant of the scene with great curiosity, and from the corner of your eyes you catch the rest of the adults in the room doing the exact same thing. 

“This is Jon. He's my brother.”

“We’re twins,” Jon announces.

“But I’m older,” Luna reminds him.

“And that’s daddy.” The boy points at Harry, who quickly and shamelessly looks up to the ceiling, trying to cover up the fact he’s been watching them.

“Ok.” Bucky purses his lips and nods, seeming ready to bolt away from the interaction.

In fact, you can’t recall having seen him talking to a kid before, except for maybe Clint’s and Scott’s kids, but he always preferred to remain at least one arm’s length away from them. You know this has everything to do with the fact he still struggles to think children would want anything to do with him...   

“Your hand is shiny.” Luna states straightforwardly. 

As you feel Bucky freezing beside you decide to step in, but probably not in the way he would want you to, “His whole arm is shiny, Luna.” You whisper, leaning down and half covering your mouth like you were telling her a secret. You choose to ignore the betrayed look you receive from Bucky.  

The information makes the little girl gasp and stare longingly at said arm, covered by the long sleeve of his Henley.

“Oh, you ́re the Winter Soldier,” Jon yells, pointing at Bucky with astonishment  as  his jaw drops.

The nickname Bucky used to dread so much, but which in time - as he formed his name as an avenger - got a different and more positive meaning to everyone else, sounds nothing but adorable in the kid’s soft voice when said in such an enthusiastic way. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you the phantom of a smile that threatens to curl Bucky's lips.

“Oooo, I know you,” Luna grins, bouncing on her little legs, “You're Captain America ́s boyfriend.”

 “Oh, my God! Luna!” Harry mortified attempt of reprimanding his daughter is muffled by the thunder of loud laughs filling the room, including one of your own.  Horror twists Harry’s features as Bucky and Steve share widened staggered looks.

“Don ́t laugh,” Luna turns to the party, putting her hands on each side of her waist and stomping her little foot to the ground as the laughs are swiftly held back at the respect the small figure imposes, “Daddy said it’s ok that boys date. And girls, too.” Her features turn into a scowl.

You glance at Harry and you glimpse the pride which his daughter’s words brings to his expression being swiftly replaced by apprehension when he spots Steve.

“And your daddy is right,” Steve straightens up his posture for Harry’s relief and then putting on his Captain voice, he turns to Luna again, “But Bucky and I are not boyfriends, we’re buddies.”

You think Sam will explode when he puts his hand over his mouth to hold back the laugh even harder.

“Maybe it's a secret, Luna. Just like dad ́s.” Jon innocently shrugs and that's what kills everybody’s strong will and the sound of multiple laughs bubbles into the room again.

Even Bucky has given in and sports a small but beautiful smile on his face as his head shakes slowly and warm heartedly. You smile right back at him when your eyes meet and you notice how much more at ease he seems.

“Aright, alright. You two get back here.” Harry commands.

“Ok,” Luna answers and starts to move towards the party again, but not before she laces her chubby little hand with Bucky’s metal one to pull him with her, being followed close by her brother.

When he looks back at you, being pulled by the girl, there’s no plea for help or embarrassment on his face; he only keeps smiling and shrugs. Your stomach flutters inside you as you take a deep breath in. 

Luna makes Bucky sit in the middle of her and Jon, as you sit where you were before, beside Harry, placing the little unicorn between you and him. Everyone catches on conversations or eating and drinking.

“Oh, Bucky. Have you met Harry, already?” You ask, trying to act cool, especially about the fact he has seen him before at Steve’s party and not mentioning all the times Bucky has asked you about your relationship with Harry.

“Hey,” Bucky nods and extends a hand, leaning over to catch Harry’s from across the cloth, “We’ve seen each other before, but I think we haven’t been introduced yet.” He says, pressing his lips in a polite smile.

“Hi, yeah, that’s right,” Harry answers in a matching polite tone, “It’s such a pleasure, I’m a huge fan, of course. I’m sorry for my chipmunks-”

“Ugh, daddy.” Luna, huffs.

Before any of the grown-ups could add anything else both the kids launch on Bucky. Leave it to kids to dissipate any kind of awkward situations… 

“Is your arm heavy?” Luna leans on Bucky’s shoulder, resting her chin over her hands there.

“A bit, yes.”

“Are you strong, Mr. Bucky?” This time Jon asks from Bucky’s other side.

“Of course I am.”

“Stronger than him?” Luna cocks her head towards Steve, who snaps his look up from the checkers board.

“Sure, he’s all jacked now, but deep down he’s nothing but a skinny little angry man…”

The super soldiers make a face to each other and you chuckle.

“What about him?” Jon points at Sam.

“Kids, please…” Bucky’s eyes roll as he lets out a smug snort.

“You wish, tin can,” Sam shots a handful of pop-corn on his direction.

“And them?” Luna points at Wanda and Nat.

“Well…”

Attentive to the scene so far, you spot the red mist Wanda casually pours from her elegant hands as Nat cracks her fingers, staring blankly at Bucky.

“Definitely not.” He turns widened eyes at Luna, enticing a little giggle to come out of her lips and a laugh of you.  

“You’re not stronger than Iron Man.” Jon affirms, rather than ask.

“Hey!” Bucky playfully yelps, as the boy places his little hand on his chin, furrowing his eyebrows as if he’s concentrating real hard to come up with Bucky’s next challenger.

“Oh! Are you stronger than daddy?” He finally yells, partnering up with his sister as the two people who made her father choke on his juice that day. 

“Ahm… I don’t know-I,” Bucky fumbles with his answer as Harry keeps struggling for air.

“I know how we can find out,” Luna swiftly raises her hand, looking excitedly at Jon.

You pat Harry’s back as he coughs harder.

“Daddy can lift me and Jon on each arm, I bet you can’t.” She cocks a daring eyebrow at Bucky as Jon eagerly nods his head and gets up.

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky raises his eyebrow back at her, before turning his eyes at Harry asking for permission, which is granted with a nod and a smile. Now that the latter knows Luna’s idea doesn’t involve him getting his ass kicked he seems a lot more relaxed.

Then, with an exaggerated grunt, Bucky grabs and lifts the two little creatures by their feet using only his metal hand. The squeaks and giggles bubbling out of their lungs mingle with Bucky’s groans as he tosses the twins around as if they weigh nothing.

“Who’s the strongest person in this room, huh?” He challenges, as he holds them by their behinds and presses them into the air as a couple of dumbbells in each hand. 

“You, Mr. Bucky,” They both yell in unison between little screams and loud giggles.

Your heart melts and the smile on your face is wide when you realize that, just like that, he also becomes their favorite person in the room. You totally get it, who can be better judges of character than kids? Besides, falling in love with Bucky is that easy and inevitable, you're one to talk...

The kids keep themselves glued on Bucky’s side all the time, asking questions, proposing games that he promptly accepts, offering him food, telling him stories about themselves and about their father – to Harry’s very dismay… They even get him to show them part of his arm, gaining claps of admiration from Luna.

At some point you reach for the jar of juice to find it empty, but before you even think of standing up to go grab some more, you feel the jar being promptly stolen from your hand.

“I got this,” Bucky winks, getting up, as Sam and Nat finally get a bit of the kids attention, doing some magic trick with a few cards for them as Harry watches.

“It’s ok, Bucky-”

“Na-ha. You stay comfortably there.” He gets up, glaring at you to show he means business.

You let out an annoyed huff – only a stunt to hide how you’re secretly loving the attention coming from him. Wanda calls on your bullshit aiming you a teasing smile that you choose to not indulge.

“Steve, get your lazy ass here and help,” Bucky calls, walking inside the kitchen, as the kids giggle at his choice of words.

~~~

Bucky places the jar on the sink and, before he could walk to the fridge to grab more oranges to squeeze, a wall of enhanced muscles captures him in an impossibly tight hug.

“Ugh, what’s that for, punk?” He grunts, but promptly hugs his friend back.

“You’re gonna be a dad,” Steve croaks out.  

Bucky lets out  a quiet laughter. He hadn’t seen Steve yet, not after the ultrasound when Bucky’s real feelings towards the news became clear. He guesses his friend wasn’t really sure of what his decision would be to actually congratulate him and express his emotions about it before, “And you're gonna be an uncle.” Bucky beams.

Steve only whimpers and tightens the hold around his friend.  

“Alright, alright,” Bucky pats his back and let goes. “This is why everybody thinks we're a couple.” He adds, without taking the smile off his face.

Steve chuckles and shakes Bucky by his shoulder, with his eyes clearly red, the Captain wipes a tear with the back of his hand “You deserve this,'' he says.

No more words need to be said as Bucky’s smile falls but his eyes remain soft and he only nods as an answer. The two friends exchange meaningful and watery gazes before they move to go grabbing the oranges and the necessary utensils, forming a team side by side by the sink to slice the fruits and squeeze the juice using the squeezer. 

“I know Y/N has banned you from telling anyone what you two are having, but you won't deny this information to your oldest pal here, are you?” Steve nudges Bucky as he slices the oranges.

“By the image on the screen, it sure looked like a kid.” Bucky keeps squeezing the oranges, unaffected.

“Ah, come on, Buck.”

“Not a chance, pal. If I didn´t give in to Nat, you won’t make me talk, either.” He turns to Steve, “And stop with the damn puppy eyes, you’ll have to wait, like everyone else.”

“Spoilsport,” Steve grunts his displeasure of being kept in the shadows about the baby’s sex before the smile comes back to his face, “You´re happy, aren´t you?” He softly asked after taking a good look at his friend.

“Like I’ve never thought I would be. Not even back in our days. It’s funny…” Bucky’s eyebrows furrow as a small breathy laugh comes out of his lips, “A couple of days ago I had no idea this kind of feeling, this sweet agonizing happiness, existed. Now it’s all I feel, all the time.”

“Sounds intense,” Steve chuckles, clearly pleased, “You and Y/N? What’s the deal with the two of you now?”

Bucky clears his throat and bites the insides of his cheeks, “We agreed we should focus on the baby. Let go of what happened before in the past.” He keeps his eye focused on the task of squeezing oranges.

“Oh…and how ́s that working out for you?”

“Good”

Steve stops what he’s doing altogether and turns to face Bucky, placing the hand holding the knife on his side, “Are you lying? Is this something we do now? Lie to each other?” He waves the knife on the space between them, “You couldn’t even be around her before, it can ́t be changed all of a sudden.”

Bucky shakes his head as he huffs. The damn punk…  “It’s… I don´t know,” He turns to face Steve as well, “A mix of heaven and hell. Fighting with her was easier, to be honest.” He snickers, “I could handle that. And now, we talk, actually talk without fighting or anything… I get to be around her without jumping on each other’s throat and now I can really, really see her. She’s still her but, I don’t know…different,” He turns back to the sink, grabbing another half orange to squeeze as he talks, “She seems more content, level headed, elegant…” He sighs, “She looks even more beautiful each day that passes… fucking sexier…” His whisper is barely audible as his eyelids close for a moment, “It must be the pregnancy, I don ́t know, haven't you noticed it?” He looks back at Steve to find the latter holding back a smile.

“Seems the same good old Y/N for me,” Steve shrugs, “Maybe a little more… joyful?” He asks himself, “Yeah, but what do I know, I ́m not in love with her.” He resumes slicing the oranges, acting nonchalantly.

“Stop it.” Bucky glares at him.

Steve throws his arms to the air and scrunches up his chin as a sign of resignation.

After a few moments more of silence as they work together, Bucky briskly stops and turns to his friend again, “It's just, it's complicated,” His eyes shut as he scratches his eyebrow, “With the baby, and all.” He sighs, looking down, “I don´t wanna ruin the peace we’re finally achieving between us by trying again with her, but God…” He looks up to the ceiling before and his eyes close before he looks down at Steve, who has stopped his work to pay attention on the man beside him, “I have to physically restrain myself from kissing the fuck out of her every time I lay my eyes on her, every time she comes closer and I smell her perfume...goddammit…” He confesses for the first time out loud, before turning to the sink to lean his hands on the marble taking in a deep breath, “She said we didn ́t work as a couple, and she’s right, isn’t she…” He murmurs.  

Steve places a kind hand on his shoulder, “I know the way it ended was rough and then everything else that happened after that, but everyone could see how you two loved each other, Bucky…” He softly says as Bucky remains silent, staring down, “And I don ́t know, you both seem like growing from the place you’ve been, when you’ve hurt each other…”

Silence lingers between them as Bucky feels his jaw clenching. He loves you. Of course he does, he always has and everything he did to try and deny this only resulted in pain.  And that’s what scares the shit out of him. He knows you two agreed on trying to not focus on each other as anything more than parents, and as much as he agreed on it, the all-consuming love he feels for you only grows each day he stays at your side, each time he talks to you and he watches you becoming the mother of his child…

Fuck, he doesn’t want to ruin everything. Not again.  

“Buck, everything will be alright, I’m sure,” Steve seems to hear his thoughts as he tries to comfort him.

Bucky forces a smile at his effort and squeezes the last orange, before wiping his hand with a knapping hung on the wall. Giggles coming from the living room catches their attention.

“Do you think there's something there,” Bucky tentatively asks, eyes stuck on the door that leads to the living room, “With Harry, I mean.” He clarifies in a low voice, when his eyes meet Steve’s.  

Steve sighs before shrugging, his forehead creasing, “They seem close.”            

Bucky nods slowly, worrying his lower lip between his teeth, “I heard his little girl,  Luna, asking if Y/N was the girl he’s been-” He sulks down a harsh intake of breath, “I wouldn't blame him…” His lips form a taut line.

When Steve presents him with silence and something that resembles empathy in his eyes for him – old Steve Rogers’s style- Bucky clears his throat and moves to pour the juice on the Jar.

“Come on, I’m gonna say goodbye to them, I have to go.” He adds, turning  towards the door with the Jar in his hand.

“Where to?” Steve cocks his head, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m gonna meet Anna in a few.” Bucky mutters as his shoulders round downwards, “I called her yesterday.”

“Oh.”

“You think I shouldn’t.” Bucky states.  

“No, not at all.” Steve shakes his head. “I just wasn’t expecting to hear this now after-” Steve licks his lips and nods once, “I do think you should talk to her, though, Bucky. Set things straight. I know how important she’s been to you and I know it hurts you how things played out between the two of you. Now that you cleared your head a bit, maybe it’s the right time to really listen to her and tell her how you feel, too.”

Steve… always the voice of reason. Of his reason.

“I know.” Bucky nods. He needs to set things straight once and for all.  

~~~

Chapter 18 coming soon. 

[sunlightdances]

Light a Flame (College!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Author: Katie @sunlightdances​ Title: Light a Flame Pairing: College AU Steve Rogers x Fem Reader Rating: PG-13 (for language) Summary: Big, sweet, blonde idiot Steve and slightly idiot reader. Our faves! You’re paired with Steve Rogers for a project. Captain of the debate team, track and field star, and actual intelligent man… which just made you more furious. It would be one thing if he was an idiot. But he wasn’t, and you needed an A in this class to get through the rest of the year unscathed. Disclaimer: I don’t own Steve Rogers, or Marvel. Please don’t repost my work on any other sites without my permission! Author’s Note: Special thanks to @lipstickandvibranium​ for reading this over for me! If you like this, please reblog and give me some feedback! Also check out my masterlist for other pairings and stories.

As a general rule, you tried not to dislike people, or hold grudges.

It didn’t do any good, even if at the time your reason for being upset was completely justified. You were considering changing your stance after meeting Steve Rogers, however.

He seemed perfect - perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect teeth -- but you got a glimpse at the real person under the mask when you were paired together for a politics project.

He was-- you couldn’t even put it into words.

Smug.

Self righteous.

A pain in the ass.

(Also the most attractive person you’ve seen up close, with his sharp jaw and deep blue eyes, and the way he laughed--)

Okay, maybe you could put it into words. Still, it did nothing to help your situation, because you were stuck with him for the semester. Him and his know-it-all attitude.

Steve Rogers. Captain of the debate team, track and field star, and actual intelligent man… which just made you more furious. It would be one thing if he was an idiot. But he wasn’t, and you needed an A in this class to get through the rest of the year unscathed.

You stew silently as you sit in the library and wait for him. He’s almost an hour late, and you’re thinking of a million witty retorts for when he finally shows up, but it all flies right out of your head when he comes jogging into the library, eyes a little wild and hair windswept.

He spots you, and his shoulders slump. He gets to you in a few long strides.

“I’m sorry--”

“I took off work to be here today--” you start, angrily.

“I know, and I didn’t mean to be late, but I got caught up--”

“It’s common decency to be on time! Especially when one person has already rearranged their schedule--”

He almost collapses into the chair across from you, wiping his hand down his face. “I said I was sorry. It won’t happen again.”

He sounds genuinely upset, and for the first time, you’re not sure how to respond. “... Are you okay?”

He waves a hand dismissively. “Fine. Let’s just get to work.”

The two of you debate for what feels like hours. Steve wants to present a moral argument on an issue, you want to present a logical argument on the same issue… honestly, you wonder if Professor Coulson realized what he was doing when he paired you together.

After an especially long yawn from Steve, you feel your patience wearing thin. “You know what? I’m calling it. Don’t want to bore you to death.”

He looks taken aback. “Sorry?”

“You haven’t done anything but act bored and like you’d rather be anywhere else since you got here. So I’ll save you the trouble and finish the rest of the presentation myself.”

Angrily, he stands, mirroring you. “We haven’t decided on anything yet.”

“I don’t need your input.”

“Look, I don’t know what I did to piss you off so much--”

“Besides your general…” You gesture vaguely in his direction, immediately regretting it when his eyes go cold and a bitter smile shows up on his face.

He nods. “Okay. Well, I won’t keep you.”

You had visions of leaving him there, sitting there alone like he had done to you, but instead the door clicks with a kind of finality that you weren’t expecting to feel so guilty about as he leaves, and you’re alone again.

.

.

.

It starts raining while Steve is walking back to his apartment, but he barely notices. He’s surprised there isn’t steam coming off of him with how hot with anger and embarrassment he feels after his encounter with you.

He doesn’t understand why he lets you get under his skin this way.

He wishes you would just see him for once.

You and he have had classes together for years, but have never really been in the same social circles, or been paired up on anything together.

It doesn’t mean he’s never noticed you before.

He remembers the first time he ever saw you vividly. And he kinda hates himself for it, because while he remembers every detail of that moment, he doubts you do.

He sticks his foot in his mouth every time you come within five feet of him, and now you hate him.

He gets to his apartment and is literally dripping wet, Bucky pulling open the door before he can put his key into the lock, eyes widening.

“What the hell happened?”

“She hates me.” He hangs his sodden jacket on a hook by the door, tossing his keys into the bowl on the small table. “I was late, and I tried to apologize—”

“Jesus. How you’ve managed to mess this up so spectacularly, I have no idea.”

“Fuck off,” Steve groans, heading to his bedroom to change out of his wet clothes, seething the entire time.

“All I’m saying,” Bucky’s voice drifts through the closed door, “Is that you finally have the chance to get to know the girl, and now you can’t even get that right?”

Steve grits his teeth. “Remind me why we’re friends again?”

He opens the door to see Bucky’s grinning face.

“Because no one else would put up with your dramatic ass for their entire lives.” He follows Steve to the kitchen, sitting at one of the bar stools while Steve pulls out a bowl and some cereal.

“She wouldn’t even let me explain why I was late, and I apologized straight away… she’s impossible. We’re both going to fail this project because she hates me so much she’d rather take a failing grade than work with me.”

Bucky looks skeptical. “Why were you late?”

Steve sighs, knowing he’s going to get shit for this no matter how hard he defends himself. “I was talking to Sharon—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Bucky exclaims, face twisted in exasperation. “For what? For the final nail in your coffin? Jesus, dude—”

“She asked me to call her! I thought something was wrong.”

Bucky puts a hand on his shoulder, “I say this with the most love a best friend can say this with: you really have to get a grip. You and Sharon broke up months ago.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“It is when you have feelings for someone else!”

Steve groans, letting his forehead hit the counter top. “You know, she wasn’t the nicest person in the world either, but I don’t think she’s getting chewed out by her best friend right now.”

Bucky snorts. “Yeah, well. She doesn’t have me for a best friend, does she?”

.

.

.

MJ and Peter stare at you in disbelief.

“You said what?” Peter asks, eyes wide.

“He was late! By a lot!”

MJ shakes her head. “You told him his general existence is why you don’t like him? Girl.”

You feel your cheeks reddening. “I know, I know. I just— I got so angry, and it just came out.” You bury your face in your hands. “I’m the worst.”

“You’re not the worst,” Peter assures you. “You just suck at having a crush on someone.”

You glare at him.

You have no idea how you let it get this far. You tend to be standoffish when you like someone, because you’re afraid of the inevitable, that they won’t like you back and that you’ll be stuck pining after someone.

But the truth? The truth is that Steve Rogers has a way of pushing your buttons like no one else, while simultaneously being the nicest, most attractive person you know.

“I should apologize.” You mutter, so quiet Peter and MJ actually lean closer to hear you.

“What?”

“I said I should apologize.” You groan. “I’m never going to live this down. He’s just--”

“Super hot?” MJ finishes, eyebrow raised.

You groan again, and try to tune out the laughter of your friends.

Hours later, in the quiet dark of your apartment, glasses perched on your nose, you open a blank email.

To: sgrogers@nyu.edu From: reader@nyu.edu Subject: Sorry

Steve,

Sorry for bailing on our project planning session today. I’m also sorry I was a huge jerk. I had a bad day and took it out on you.

Can we meet another day this week to finish up?

Sorry again.

You hit send before you can second guess it, and hope that you didn’t screw up as monumentally as you think you might have.

An hour later, a ping from your computer wakes you up, and with bleary eyes, you read:

To: reader@nyu.edu From: sgrogers@nyu.edu Subject: Re: Sorry

I’m sorry too, for being late. And for arguing so much. I’m free tomorrow after 1pm if that works for you.

You’re surprised, but relief takes over you as you finally fall asleep.

.

.

.

Steve is fidgety, and he doesn’t do fidgety. He’s usually calm and collected, but he knows he was a jerk the night before, and it doesn’t sit well with him.

He’s also a little worried that you’re going to yell at him again, which-- fair, but not really what he wants to deal with.

He sees you come into the Starbucks and waves from the table he’s claimed towards the back, hoping that being in a more public place will deter you from any violence. Not that he thinks you’d resort to that. But who knows, at this point.

“Hey.” You say quietly when you get closer, dumping your bag on the empty chair across from him.

“Hi.”

An uncomfortable silence settles over the two of you.

“Look, we already emailed about it, so can we skip the awkward apologies and just get to work?”

Relief floods him. “Yeah. Absolutely.”

“Great. I’m going to order a coffee.”

You’re back in a few minutes, and start digging out notebooks and color-coded spreadsheets, and he has a minute to be impressed before you meet his eyes, arching your eyebrows.

“So this is what I’ve done over the last three weeks. I’ve got all the info here, but we need to make it look presentable. Lucky for us, you’re the art major.”

“Art history--”

You wave a hand, “You can draw. I’ve seen you doodle.”

He snorts. “Okay.”

You look at him again, “If you don’t want to, we can make it digital, but I just thought it would be better--”

Steve runs a hand over his jaw, “No, you’re right. It would look more authentic. It’s the least I can do, too. You know. To make up for yesterday.”

Steve feels you staring at him, and he fidgets again. He has no idea what you’re looking for, but he can imagine what you see. The circles under his eyes, the stubble from the few days he hasn’t shaved… he’s a mess. And you got caught up in it just by the bad luck of being his partner on this project.

“Why were you late yesterday, anyway?” You ask finally.

Steve busies himself tearing the label off the side of his coffee cup. “My ex called.”

He watches you go rigid, and for a horrifying moment, he thinks maybe he got this all wrong. Maybe you do see him the way he sees you, and now he’s just admitted that he was late to meet you because of his ex, and--

“We were together for a long time and she has an aunt that’s sick, when she called I--”

“I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself.” The spark he’s used to seeing in your eyes - especially when bantering with him -- is completely gone. He almost wishes Bucky was here to kick his ass.

You go back to organizing your notes, and the moment is gone.

He can’t help but think he’s managed to fuck this up again.

.

.

You don’t know why you’re acting like this.

So Steve still keeps in touch with his ex, so what. Why do you care so much? He said it himself, she’s got a sick aunt, and maybe the breakup was amicable, because Steve Rogers is totally that type of guy.

It’s impossible not to like him, as you’re slowly discovering.

You’re annoyed that when he admitted why he was late, it felt like getting doused in cold water. But then-- the look on his face when he saw you deflate a little… what was that about? His eyes were pleading… for what? Understanding?

Your head hurts.

You haven’t even been here for a half hour and Steve is already so far under your skin you’ll be amazed if you get out of this project unscathed.

Steve draws up some quick drafts of the posters for your project and you give him some input here and there, but the conversation is minimal and quiet.

Every now and then you can feel his eyes on you. Those big, sad, blue eyes… you’re just so confused by him. He normally seems so put together, so sure of himself, but now it’s the opposite. You can’t believe that you have something to do with it.

Because you’re no one special, or at least that’s what you think.

You have no idea that Steve would disagree.

.

.

.

A few days go by without any word from Steve.

A quick email is sent to check in on his progress, but that’s it. You don’t know why you feel so gloomy about it.

“What are you thinking about? Steve?” MJ asks, tossing a pillow at you from the bed across from yours.

“What?”

“You know. Tall, blonde, handsome?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not thinking about him.”

She chuckles. “Wow. You suck at lying.”

“He’s probably busy.”

MJ narrows her eyes. “And that doesn’t bother you at all?”

You set your chemistry textbook down with a thump. “Is there a point to this?”

“You like him. You’re both idiots. You should just tell him already and put him out of his misery. Maybe then you can actually get a good grade on this project instead of trying to tiptoe around it.”

“You know what? I’m hungry. I’m going to go to the dining hall.”

You shove on some boots and a jacket and leave before MJ can say anything else that you’re not ready to hear.

On your way, your head is spinning. There’s just no way that Steve likes you. And there’s no way you like him either! You-- you barely tolerate him. You’re from two different worlds… there’s no way it would work.

Besides, it sounds like things are weird with his ex. You have no desire to get in the middle of anything like that.

So lost in your thoughts, you round a corner, and run straight into an absolute brick wall of a man. You almost fall, but your yelp startles him into action and he grabs your arm, yanking you upright.

“Shit,” he curses, “Are you okay?”

“Fine!” You squeak.

“Oh,” He says, “I know you. You’re Steve’s project partner.”

You blink up at him before you recognize him as Steve’s friend, Bucky. “Hi. Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” He frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be working on that thing with Steve right now?”

It’s your turn to frown. “What are you talking about? I haven’t heard from him all week.” You think the hurt at Steve being basically off the grid after you thought you’d had a breakthrough shows on your face.

Bucky sighs, eyes closing, tipping his head back like the weight of the universe is suddenly on his shoulders. “What an idiot.”

“Excuse me?!”

His eyes fly open. “Not you! Him. Definitely him. Listen, I gotta go.” He takes two steps before turning back to you, his voice suddenly much more serious. “Do me a favor and don’t give up on him, okay?”

“Uh-- okay,” you say, still not really sure what he’s talking about.

He leaves and you go grab some dinner, wondering when the hell your life got this confusing.

.

.

.

The door bursts open and Bucky comes through it, eyes flashing. “You know, I could just strangle you right now.”

Steve glances up from his seat on the couch, thumbing through a paperback he’s already read four times. “What?”

“Tell me why I just, quite literally, ran into your project partner at the dining hall when she’s supposed to be at the library working with you, like you’ve been telling me for the last three days.”

Steve sighs. Bucky continues.

“Also tell me why she looked like someone kicked her puppy when she said she hasn’t heard from you at all this week.”

Steve clenches his jaw. No matter what he does, he keeps fucking this up. He’s not trying to hurt you, or avoid you, it’s the last thing he wants. But he has to get his shit straight before he even thinks about telling you how he feels.

“You’ve been telling me for days that you were going to study with her and finally tell her that you’re crazy about her.” Bucky sits down next to Steve, actually looking a bit angry, and not just amused like he has all the other times before. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

“I had to-- I saw Sharon today.”

Bucky’s eyes darken, “You absolute--”

“I told her I can’t keep seeing her.” When it appears like Bucky is going to hold off on his tirade for now, Steve plows on, “I told her I wanted to be her friend, that I’d be there for her if her Aunt Peggy gets worse, but that’s it. I can’t meet up for coffee, I can’t text her every day like she wants. I ended it, for good this time.”

Bucky still looks suspicious. “She was fine with that?”

“I think she realized that we were still acting like we’re a couple without actually being together.”

“What are you going to do now?”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “I think I have some serious groveling to do. I just didn’t want to say anything without talking to Sharon first. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of them.”

Bucky lays a heavy hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for, you know.” A beat. “Sorry for saying I wanted to strangle you.”

Steve laughs.

.

.

.

A knock on the door brings you out of your thoughts, but you make no move to get up. MJ is on her feet anyway, so she pulls open the door and you hear a few murmured words before she turns to you.

“Your friend is here.”

She moves and you see him, looking sheepish as he hovers in the doorway.

“I just remembered I have to meet Peter. To talk about the thing. Be back later.” MJ says, the traitor, and leaves you alone with Steve, who looks a bit lost as he shuts the door behind him and steps inside.

“I can go if you’re busy…” He says quietly.

You shrug. “Didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

Steve’s shoulders slump. “I know. I’m sorry.” He takes a few tentative steps towards you. “Can I sit?”

You shrug again. It figures, now that he’s actually here, you’re unable to string two words together.

“Can I tell you something?” He doesn’t wait for a response. “I was really happy when I saw we were paired together for this project. I-- I thought you hated me, and I like you, so you can imagine how much that sucked.” He hears your quick intake of breath and smiles, but keeps going. “I thought this was my chance. To get to know you, for you to get to know me. But I keep fucking it up.”

You can’t really believe what you’re hearing. Despite yourself, your heart rate picks up.

“I know I-- people think whatever they think about me. That I’m some-- some hero, some perfect person, and I…” he shakes his head, “I’ve never known how to live up to that. But when I actually wanted to be that person around you, I just turned into the biggest asshole on the face of the Earth.”

“Steve, wait.” You interrupt him, unable to handle the look on his face for another second. “We’re both idiots, okay?” Out of instinct, you reach for his hand, your decision solidified when he grips yours right back, no hesitation. “I wasn’t very nice to you either. I didn’t even try to ask if you had something else going on.”

“I’m a control freak and too competitive.” He arches his eyebrows, almost like he’s daring you to contradict him.

“I’m too sarcastic and overreact.”

“I can’t stand the thought of people hating me, so I try to make everyone happy even when it’s impossible.” He says quietly, looking down at your joined hands.

“Your ex?”

“That’s done.” Steve says, and you feel the conviction in his words, giving you the courage you need to meet his eyes again. “It doesn’t make up for the fact that I let my outside stuff influence me enough to be a jerk to you. But it won’t happen again.”

Suddenly, with more confidence than you feel, you stand, tugging Steve to his feet. “Come on, I have an idea.”

.

.

.

Steve follows you in a daze, his brain rapidly trying to process everything that just happened. He apologized, like he should have done weeks ago. He cleared the air with Sharon, like he should have done weeks ago.

He told you he likes you.

You didn’t really respond, but he almost doesn’t care. Because the negative tension that used to be in the air between you is gone, and you’re still holding his hand, tugging him with you to God knows where.

A stop at the coffee cart, and then you’re pulling him into the library. He looks down at you, and you smirk.

“Time to pay up, Rogers. We’re getting an A on this project if it kills us.”

Your voice is decidedly flirty, and Steve sort of feels like he’s been hit over the head with something heavy. That smile aimed at him? Designed to kill.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” He agrees, chuckling.

You don’t leave the library until very late.

He holds your hand again on the walk back.

Four days later, you do your presentation with Steve, and even your professor looks amazed at how it goes off without a hitch. The original artwork Steve did to help illustrate your points had people coming up to get a closer look afterwards, and if Steve preens a little at the proud look in your eyes as you glance at him, well who could blame him?

“Let’s get coffee,” he says afterwards, pulling you off to one side. He can’t get over the soft way you’re looking at him, and would do just about anything to spend more time with you today.

He’s still half worried that now that the project is done, you’ll go back to acting like he doesn’t exist.

The coffee shop just off campus is quiet when you get there, and even though you roll your eyes, you agree to let Steve buy your coffee. As he waits for your order, he watches you out of the corner of your eye as you pick a table by the window, the sun hitting your profile, and for a minute he’s totally dumbstruck.

Sitting down across from you, your fingers graze his when he hands you your cup, and he’s about to ask you out, for real this time, when you beat him to the punch.

“I never really responded to what you told me the other night.”

Steve swallows hard, trying to act nonchalant. “Oh?”

You roll your eyes. “I-- god. Stop looking at me like that!”

He can’t help it, he grins. “Like what?”

“Smug. Like you already know what I’m going to say. Do you look at all the girls like that?”

His smile softens. “No. Not all of them.”

Something warm unfurls in Steve’s chest as he watches you take in his words, your entire demeanor turning shy.

“Anyway, like I was saying--” You say, “You told me you liked me.”

Steve feels like his palms are going to start sweating. “I did.”

“I never said anything.”

“No,” he agrees, “You didn’t.”

You shift a little bit, and it sort of makes him hopeful that you seem nervous, even though the last thing he wants is for you to be uncomfortable. “I guess I-- I sort of like you too.”

Steve laughs, “Oh, you guess you sort of like me - my, oh my. How will I ever recover from this romantic confession?” He presses his hand to his heart.

“I take it back - I hate you.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“No, you don’t.” He says, smug. “I think my plan worked.” He leans a little farther over the tabletop so he can grab your hand again.

You snort. “Oh yeah, your plan absolutely worked and definitely didn’t backfire at all.”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Steve says, absolutely in awe of the feeling coursing through him right now. Is this what being smitten is like? It’s probably an old-fashioned thought, but he doesn’t care.

He tugs a little bit on your hand so you’re leaning forward too, and then he’s pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips, holding your hand while his other hand reaches up to cradle your jaw. He thinks if he opened his eyes he would see literal sparks, and sighs when you melt into him.

“There.” He says, voice husky, as you pull apart. “Does that convince you?”

“You’re still a pain in the ass, Steve Rogers.”

“Back at you, honey.”

End