#someone needs to let me out of my brain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

27-royal-teas · 5 months

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im so fucking done. I think im going crazy.

#someone needs to let me out of my brain #i miss being stressed because when i was stressed at least i was too busy to THINK #now i have too much time and im always sad or angry and my friends dont want to hang out with me because they’re having too much fun #and its hot outside and i want to claw off my skin and my entire family’s trying to force me to go vegitarian and if i say i dont want to #then im selfish because we’re doing it for dads health!!! but also if i fall into diet culture again i might not make it out!!!!!!!!!#and my brother’s always obsessing about the food i eat and what I eat and how much of it i eat and is it too much to be LEFT ALONE.#WHY CANT I BE GRADUATING THIS YEAR. I WANT TO DIE #im so fucking done i am so tired of being sad and its only going to get worse because 80% of my friends #are GRADUATING in two weeks!!!!!!#fuck!!!!!!!#vent #delete later

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schmweed · 9 months

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#David Tennant #DI Alec Hardy #Broadchurch #my gifs #Damn the tenderness! The kindness!#The way he tries to soften the irreversible blow by easing her into it #Asking her first what she was doing #in order to then ask if she saw Joe come to bed #and then coming to her side of the table #Alec Hardy is the kindest man Broadchurch will ever have the privilege of knowing #the way he scrambles up and rushes over to be there for her as she falls apart #the way he keeps a steadying comforting hand on her #the way he has his hand out ready to steady her even when he's not touching her!#the way he keeps his voice as non-threatening and non-challenging as possible every time she pleads & he has to shatter her hopes #oh also! also! the way he considers for a long time when she asks to see Joe #He KNOWS it's against procedure. He KNOWS she's unstable now. But he can't not give her the only thing she asked for that he can give.#I'm going to gif this scene over and over so if using the Broadchurch tag is abusing the tag pls someone let me know #and I'll make up my own tag for Broadchurch #I need to do a gifset that includes Ellie but it will have to be side by side #and I want to do another gifset with only the gifs that have the same angle because it's sth my autistic brain won't shut up abt #oh my heart those two! <3 <3 <3 #These are seven gifs. Is that a long post? I don't know if I should tag this as long post #I'm very sorry to anyone who felt this was a long post and I didn't tag it. I hate that color of the sky post. it's unrelentingly long #I'm sincerely sorry if this is the same situation

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months

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the x files au where everything is exactly the same except mulder takes home the child neanderthal from the jersey devil episode and raises them as his own

#you could make this super fun and invoke a sense of deep Guilt on behalf of mulder because he feels he got the mom neanderthal killed #and then you can also make it fun in “c'mon sport let's go throw the ball around kind of way”#i imagine him at the library checking out books on early humanoid species and how to parent at the same time #the librarian silently checking the books out and wondering what on earth this man could possibly be needing such resources for #imagine scully's reaction to this. i can't quite place it beyond initial Disbelief and then subsequent trying to be as supportive as she ca #and she would probably be also very Nerdy about the whole thing. because she strikes me as someone well-read on the subject and fascinated #we also know she at least has some experience wrangling children which would be relevant #i imagine a bunch of anthropologists perpetually hovering over the child to study him but they have to be Chill and not disrupt his life #so the kid just grows up thinking they have a ton of really cool and supportive aunts and uncles over all the time #meanwhile they scientists are taking notes furiously as they see if he can adapt to playing a gameboy with the other kids #idk someone probably thought of this idea before but it's funny to me #why would the kid go to him and not someone far more qualified? idk i'm just playing pretend in my brain :)#this thought was prompted by me wondering if you time traveled and brought an early humanoid to the modern era do you think the kid #would still play minecraft? i say yes. probably.#i saw a post about something similar years ago and i wonder about it. i hope you would like cartoons and subway surfers neanderthals.#the x files #txf #fox mulder

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crescentfool · 6 months

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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

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silkling · 8 months

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Real question folks.

We all know Optimus’s motto right? Right?

“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

Yeah, that one. You know the one.

But. Like. Issue.

Animals are sentient. Animals like dogs, cats, wild animals, they all have sentience. So like, what do we think the Autobots think about that? How do they feel about the fact that humans (and probably every other species in the galaxy) regularly domesticate, tame, and use other sentient creatures for their own gain? For things like. Entertainment, agriculture, pet-keeping. All that stuff.

Do you think they’re bothered by it? Do yo7 think they look at humans, with our pet dogs, and think

“Wow, this situation is kinda fucked up.”

I mean. Personally , I don’t think they take much issue with it. (Especially cause like there’s instances of them in canon not giving a shit. Buster in IDW. Fluffy Ears in Earthspark. Etc.) I think they understand the difference between sentient and sapient. Like. Humans are sapient. Cybertronians are sapient. Animals are….not? At at least not really. If you want to classify animals as sapient I think you can make that argument but even then you have to agree that their sapience is severely limited compared to like. Human sapience.

So. I don’t know. Do you think the bots get wigged out but human pet ownership, I guess. Because I know what Optimus’s motto is. I know what he says. But like. Do you think maybe he means sapient where he says sentient? Cause I think that makes more sense.

Cause like. He’s advocating for total freedom, right? Equality under law, ability to self determine your own life and destiny. But. Uh. That wouldn’t really work for animals? They’re sentient, yah, but they operate on an instinct level. Not an intellect level. Not that they don’t deserve protections and shit. That’s not the point. The point is like. Do you think Optimus (and the other Bots I guess) differentiate between sentience and sapience when they apply their beliefs. Because if not then they’d have to also be advocating for total animal freedom.

I do not know where I am going with this. But. Do you all see my point???? Please tell me you do. This has been niggling at my brain for years and I just. I cannot stop thinking about it. I don’t know why.

Sentience is not sapience. But the Autobots fight for the freedom of “sentient beings”. This is driving me insane. Do you think they care about a difference? Or do they see humans as monsters for our dominion over animals? Someone help I’m thinking too much about something that doesn’t even matter.

#silkling rambles #transformers #maccadam #also #for those who do not know the difference #sentient is the ability to think and perceive and feel emotions #sapient is the capacity for intelligence and complex problem solving and learning #a big part of sapience is also like. self-awareness. awareness of yourself in the world and your relation to thr world and people around yo #it’s kinda more complicated but that’s the simple version.#so like. a cat is sentient because it can think and feel. it can even learn a little.#but it lacks the higher self-awareness that’s necessary for true sapience #I am rambling again.#someone needs to stop me #why am I fixating on this on 9 pm a Thursday night #I do not know #I just. I just wanted to let my brain vomit out. this has been ratttling and sloshing in my head for years #anyway. thoughts. let me know yours #or don’t #I’m going to shut up now

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snackugaki · 1 year

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i gift u this, resident softboy @knightish-knight

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moghedien · 8 months

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i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking

#the general idea of what OCD is already so fucking wrong and harmful #if you start being like 'oh my little meow meow is so OCD' or 'its not a disorder its just a different way of thinking uwu'#I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL #ALL OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FROM AGE 3 AND UP ARE OF HAVING PANIC ATTACKS #PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELVES THIS IS A MISERABLE FUCKING DISORDER ITS NOT CUTE ITS NOT QUIRKY ITS THE REASON I HAD GRAY HAIR AS A TEENAGER #i saw this like 'i let the intrusive thoughts win' isn't something people use all the time for like dying their fucking hair #its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted'#and then in the next sentence want to deny that your mental illness is actually harmful to you and doesn't negatively affect you #and its just because society doesn't accept your different way of thinking uwu #NO I LITERALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF AS A TEENAGER IF SOMEONE HAD CONVINCED ME THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS WAS NORMAL AND FINE #figuring out that something was Wrong with my brain was like the best moment of my life #and this 'no you just think differently don't try to change' attitude may be helpful in SOME CASES #but that shit needs to me pulled back on A LOT online because that framing can be extremely harmful to some people (like me)#knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain is literally the only way I'm able to not let it affect me #and it not affecting me is literally the only way I can function and live happily #like you understand that some people do genuinely have things wrong with them #and telling them they don't is beyond cruel

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soaps-mohawk · 3 months

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*heavy breahring* hey giyrsf whyasfs up

I CANT TAKE THIS NEW CHAPTER OH MY GOD THE EHD WAS JUST FUCKING DELICIOUS OHHH MY GOD

oh I just KNOW shits is good now SHIVERS WENT DOWN MY SPINE AT THAT LAST BIT

YOUR WRITING IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT ALL SO MUCH fucking fantastic work once again

happy Father’s Day 😏😏😏

— 🌘 !

Hehe yeah I kind of ruined everyone with this chapter 🤭 we're just getting started too the floodgates are open and the possibilities are endless

Thank you, thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it so much 😏

I mean, the ending has been spoiled a bit now but I had to for everyone's sanity

#and also my own #it's also very past father's day #but this daddy appreciates it #i need to be stopped this is getting out of hand #someone sedate me #the meds aren't working methinks #doesn't help that i was supposed to go up a dose last week but my psychiatrist rescheduled my appointment for this week #and i didnt have enough to do that #obviously the dose i'm on isnt working i'm manic af rn #my brain really said i'm sick of being depressed let's be crazy now #🤪#answered #sm feralcore

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crescentrivers · 21 days

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The one thing that didn’t change when my special interest became Hatchetfeild instead of Sanders Sides is that I’m still forever thinking about a Logan animatic to the song Let it Out from TGWDLM and then never actually making it

#the longer time goes on the harder the animatic in my brain goes #someone needs to force me to actually attempt to make it #and I’m aware this is a very niche post #but there’s like at least some crossover between the fandom #I mean they both involve guys associated with different colors #and that’s it that’s the only similarity #hatchetfield #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #let it out #logan sanders #sanders sides

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3amfanfiction-mywriting · 3 months

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sending the universe my wish list: I want two partners who are also partners who will shower me in praise. I’m talking praise up to my eyeballs. Until I get sick (impossible) of it. And they’ve gotta give amazing forehead kisses. paty!

#this is doable right?#there’s gotta be SOMEONE out there 😭#well—two someones #I need to not have the pressure of being the sole partner #it’d make me panic #I wonder which trauma caused that 🙄#don’t let me down universe!#please and thank you #blurb #words #my writing #asking #brain thoughts #🍃💨 rambles with 3am #and it’s literally 3 am here. gotta love it

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flowercrowngods · 11 months

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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

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toytulini · 5 months

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the challenge of i should commission art of my ocs. would love to commission like, siiyr or bokrae, maybe krachyn or jula. siiyr or bokrae would make the most sense, maybe krachyn. i think theyre the ones with the most detailed notes on their anatomy

but also

oh god i cannot subject another artist to the anatomical war crimes i committed in making these ocs

#toy txt post #ig id be best off commissioning someone w a lot experience w like. centaurs. let alone commisioning them actually doing anything #interesting. the good bad news is ai cant do it either. fucking i cant even do it. why did i make these bitches. i gave bokrae a gf #but shes not. she cant even. her lips dont really do a kiss shape shes all teeth #siiyr has too many fucking elbows and a weird skull situation #bokraes skull continues to break my brain. i think it does break physics in universe. birdie did weird shit w that eye #its constantly trying to explode #the art ideas i have for bokrae and siiyr have plagued me for years even now in my depression funk of no new ideas #i cant bring myself to subject other artists to them?????#i should specify Bokrae's teeth more tho probably. i used to jokingly explain it away as she has all the teeth/they change #and. they do. canonically birdie has to replace all of her bones over time especially her skull. but also #that was me being lazyyyyyyyyyyyy #idk i know you dont necessarily need like a super detailed ref sheet to commission things but like. if i was commissioning my own ocs id #want that probably?#maybe i will try to draw the girls today. probably not doing anything interesting #bc i have not drawn for One Billion Years and im out of practice with Normal Human Anatomy let alone #these fucking Monsters #also maybe one day ill figure out Jared #pigeon head on a deaths head moth body with gemstone eyes is something i can see in my head but when i try to draw it it doesnt look right #so. need to work on that? the main thing about jared is that he needs to Scuttle #and id like to incorporate a pigeon #hm #hmmmmmmm

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piplupod · 2 months

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just now realizing that i have literally no idea how to feel emotions properly bc I always just shove them down and block them out ?? every time i get home from the centre, there's always things that happened that were difficult or upsetting for me bc im a silly little goober who has issues, and i finally have a chance to like. feel things bc im alone and can finally think clearly. but then it is way too overwhelming to feel the emotions that come up so i just distract myself and ignore the shit that i really should be working through

i feel like im going to have to start at literal infant-level development for these skills but I uhhhh... don't know how to do that. I just know that I need to because I cannot keep repressing everything fhdjdl this is nowhere even close to healthy !!

but... the only way i know how to work through shit is talking about it with people who care about me, and that is not always possible to do, and there's gotta be other ways to work through emotions ??? i even have to often shove down positive emotions bc it gets to be too overwhelming and idk what to do with it 😭

#like i don't even know how to just sit with emotions #i try to just let my nausea-levels of anxiety exist with me sometimes but I can't stop myself from automatically shoving it down #and !!! this is not good for me !!! but the emotions always feel dangerous so my body/brain instinctively shuts it down and represses it #i need to learn how to work through this shit though bc i am so tired of just having things build and build until i have a meltdown #but i dont even know where to begin with this all bc none of the healthy stuff is going to come naturally #i really wish I had an elder who could sort of mentor me on this stuff fjfkdl i feel like it'd work better than counseling #like counseling and therapy is great and all but i dont feel like it works as well as a holistic approach guided by an elder would #my brain and body are so tangled up in one another that i cannot just work on one thing at a time #it's going to have to be a more whole approach i think fhfkdl I'll have to see if i can find some books maybe #and just. figure this out myself. as per usual fjfkdl #the thing is that im tired of figuring things out myself 😭 i want help i want guidance i want someone in my corner AUGH #alas.... it is not in the cards for now !!#pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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hannibalismos-jaaneman · 27 days

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(un)popular opinion: matrix should have been a standalone.

#raj shitposting #istg i rewatched the entire trilogy today ofc idgaf about the new ones and they should've def called off the 5th one- but who listens to me #fucking hated everything after the first one. THAT WAS ENOUGH GUYS THAT WAS FUCKING ENOUGH. LET STORIES BREATHE.#THAT WAS ENOUGH THE EXACT SAME WAY TBOSAS AS A STANDALONE PREQUEL IS ENOUGH LEAVE IT ALONE SUZANNE.#ISTG SHE IS FUCKING THINGS UP SO HARD. LIKE WHY CAN'T Y'ALL STORYTELLERS MOVE THE FUCK ON LIKE FUCKING LEARN SOMETHING FROM CHRIS NOLAN.#FR I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT LIKE Y'ALL OUT HERE RUINING STORIES THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE FRANCHISES.#anytime someone asks me to start a series be it a book or film i always back out BECAUSE SEQUELS AND PREQUELS RUIN EVERYTHING.#TBOSAS is fucking great as it is leave the enigma idgaf what happened to lucy gray CANONICALLY. I HAVE MY OWN INTERPRETATIONS.#MATRIX WAS FUCKING GREAT AS IT WAS IDGAF WHAT HAPPENS AFTER NEO REALISES HIS FULL POTENTIAL BITCH THAT'S ENOUGH.#make it a story about empowerment and then fuck it up because the protagonist needs a FUCKING GIRLFRIEND BITCH WhaT-#STOP RUINING STORYTELLING AS A SUBJECTIVE ARTFORM I DO NOT NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! I HAVE A BRAIN THAT THINKS!!!#AND IT THINKS OF MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE!!!#VISUAL MEDIA HAS NO RESPECT FOR THE INTELLECT OF ITS AUDIENCE WHICH IS SOMETHING I'LL SCREAM INTO THE VOID TILL I TURN GREY AND DIE!!!#stop thinking that people are stupid and curious. people can be smart and curious too.#smfh #film #the matrix

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miodiodavinci · 7 months

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there’s a more correct way of saying it though

#which is to say that one #i am mandated by my university to take on a certain number of tasks each week #all of which require extensive documentation both before and after they take place #but my supervisor is so fucking. disorganized that i can’t plan more than a day ahead #and even then they have been. repeatedly brushing off the tasks We Agreed I Would Do #in favor of them just taking the lead and making all of my planning documentation. redundant.#and then at the end of the week they’re like ‘oh what was if you needed to do #and i end up having to cram all these stupid redundant tasks into one day.#and Two.#because of this ongoing issue of them kind of just. agreeing on something one day and then changing the story on me the very next day #i am Horribly behind on my portfolio project #and having to do Very stupid and difficult things to make it seem like i’m Not horribly behind #and in both cases i just feel like screaming and crying and weeping #but i aldo feel like i have expended the emotionsl good graces of everyone around me #so all that’s left to do is suffer.#(but my brain is so fucking burned out that it feels like i’m just)#(repeatedly jabbing electrodes into a piece of shoe leather meat and begging for it to work again)#oughhhhh i just want to collapse already #someone let me………

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transmogrified-in-the-void · 2 months

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I've straight up had the most bizarre morning @.@

#had a dream abt my abusive ex #then remembered im going to a bday party for his nephew today bc they want me there really badly (they are a child) and idk if ill see him #and then spent all morning transcribing the 6 songs from my ~abuse recovery~ album into a new notebook #plus went to therapy two days ago to deal w his bullshit so im in a weird place mentally #also some personal stuff w a friend and its just #idkkkkkkkk #and im really stuck on 'let your friends decide if they're in a place to help you' bc like. how? how can i do that?#what if they feel obligated to listen to me but are tired/done/sick of my shit? or it makes them worse?#and even then its terrifying to admit bc honestly the last time i really opened up to someone it was MY FUCKING EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE EX #and its like. i KNOW thats the ~trauma~ speaking but um. what if its not? what if i let myself break down in front of someone and they do #the same shit? or tell me that i misread the room or misinterpreted what they said as an okay and it wasnt? what if i fuck it up?#goddamnit i hate being aware of whats going on in my brain this would be easier if i wasnt aware of the source of this shit #UGH #I NEED TRANSMOGRIFIED TO BE OUT SO I CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC ABOUT THIS

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