#someone show me how to do the below the cut thing so it doesn't take up your dash

[tubbytarchia]

Etho doodles in which I let my inner dinosaur nerd take over 😔 and also have no idea how to shade

Get it cause he's old and washed up haha... ok but actual raptor Etho hybrid justification below cut

To be honest the main reason was because I really wanted a hybrid in the mix who wasn't some furry creature and a reptile or amphibian or smth instead. Etho still ended up feathered but whatever it's close enough! But for ACTUAL reasoning:

He does feel damn ancient, like an old deity of the mcyt space that no one can dislike. Dinosaurs are the same!! They're old but still thought of with great fascination and fondness, everyone loves dinosaurs...

Dinosaurs are ever so mysterious, as many advancements as we make there's still so much we don't know. Just as we know jackshit about mister Kakashi skin man. Also, there are so many incomplete skeletons out there. I didn't have a particular species in mind for Etho, because where's the mystery in that? He can be one of those 5% skeleton 95% speculation dinosaurs like this guy!! Missing jaw and all

"I'm a runner, not a protector" - so, a raptor, or more specifically the Dromaeosauridae family, which literally has "running/runner" in its name

But! I'm always a fan of stuff going against its nature, especially in this case! Etho states he's not a runner yet protects his allies rather fiercely even in total silence. Eg refusing to kill Cleo in SL or to give away Tango's location during the LimL manhunt, same for Grian in SL. He was a bit flaky in 3L I think? And he only started to have genuine care for allies in LL with Bdubs? Though he is still very much a runner in many cases like during the LL Wither fight. Research also strongly suggests that most if not all raptors were solitary hunters, and the way I see Etho (through my shamefully limited watchtime of his POVs...) he feels a lot like someone who ultimately only trusts himself at the start even if he's pleasant and allying with others, and doesn't seem to think he can carry his weight in groups though he doesn't voice this a lot. That's just how Etho is, very composed, but it feels like there's an insecurity there, showcased especially in SL but again I haven't seen almost any of his POVs in full so maybe I'm talking out of my ass!! Sorry ethogirls I'm only a sidegig ethogirl myself... But yeah tldr to me he gives off the vibe of an otherwise solitary animal struggling to find 100% sure footing in a pack. In whichever ways he does go against his nature, its not usually made a show of

At the mention of a raptor, a lot of people will probably think of the glamourized Jurassic Park Velociraptors. But those awesome guys from the movies are actually the size of chickens. In general though, dinosaurs tend to be a bit.. exaggerated in media, despite how inherently fascinating they already are. And I think it fits Etho because we all know how the Lifers seem to fear and mancrush on him when he's just some dork with perfect capability to become pathetic at a moment's notice. Still, he's a clearly skilled player and still respected without question Etho's not some killer machine like some people make dinosaurs out to be. He's just a fellow creature fulfilling his role in the ecosystem 👍

dinosaurs are cool

The hook-like sickle claws on the feet... something something fishing rod

I swear I'm not turning all my Lifers into hybrids I'm not!! Still plenty normal humans in the mix I swear....... But Etho is such a radical dude, I really wanted to do something more for him. The whole Kitsune thing that I often see associated with him is really cool. I don't actually know the reasoning for it but I assume something something naruto, but also, him being this ancient mythical cryptid who people know so little about, you know? It makes SO much sense. So anyway I turned him into a dinosaur instead rawr

As a herbivore advocate I also considered stuff like the triceratops (known for how they protect themselves and their own) but nah the raptor symbolism...

[acid-ixx]

I hope you don’t mind but I need to ramble this to someone, neglected Wayne reader right? The fam would forget to bring them to social events and whatnot right? So there would be very few pictures, articles and interviews or even facts about them, meaning that reader Wayne is a rarity. Still following me? Reader Wayne with a small but devout fanbase.

I’m talking they are trading the latest pictures and sharing links to the rare interview with reader in it, following any social media they have that isn’t private, they are just fascinated by this micro celebrity that seems to always be forgotten. Okay but also imagine one of the heroes developing a para-social attachment to reader. My money is on Conner Kent, mainly bc he can project his own issues with his dads onto reader and he can Dolores ~Encanto~ reader with his super hearing and develop a even bigger parasocial obsession with them

I hope you enjoyed this ramble, I will leave you be now, see ya later alligator! 🐊

omg another one of my asks that actually predicted a major plot point... this ask ties well with the last part written here. i'm thinking about having the reader get a love interest/s but i have already written an outline but one thing is for sure—

you have more than just your family interested in taking you.

major spoilers below the cut. — an excerpt from chapter xx

(name) wayne may have been a name forcefully deleted off of the face of the internet, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its conspiracies of its own. nobody knows who you are beyond the blurry, unsolicited pictures of you. it may have been a photograph of your back, or articles published in unknown websites and buried at the far end about a kid entering through the fancy gates of the wayne manor.

you are a product of a one-night-stand.

but they don't know who the mother is, don't know your age, or where you come from, and what business bruce has with the woman to guarantee your adoption at the instance she had disappeared without warning.

your existence was a mystery most would like to solve. after all, it was your picture that was plastered all over the newspapers and articles, it was your name that journalists whisper and it was a silhouette of your face that the underground knows by heart. every known information about you was shared discretely yet efficiently like some sort of virus.

you were a target for interest, a large sum of money if they will. and alfred had taken it in his hands to make sure there would never be a repeat of what had happened before.

it was a clumsy mistake, one that cost you your memories, and one he swears on his life he'll never make again.

the first course of action he needs to arrange, which may seem difficult for most; he needs to confront bruce.

after all, your freedom is your doom.

maybe this is out of the picture, but id' like to imagine you and connor having a therapy session where one comes out absolutely obsessed with the other, and it's not you.

connor's character for me is so, so good for an angst potential. it's like his personal struggles is a way for him to show you how absolutely you two are meant to be. and he may have met you through bumping into you (false) or maybe... he has seen you stalking through the shadows back when he visits the manor. using his superhearing, he can hear your voice from the kitchen begging alfred to relay a message to bruce, sounding so absolutely desperate. it's the way you tell alfred how you wished your father actually spends time with you, or how nobody seems to notice you— that he kind of just makes a silent promise that he will talk to you soon, he needs to know why this family seems so keen on ignoring and how hypocritical tim is for literally doing the same thing to you when he's aware of kon's past.

if he (or anyone else) should be a love interest (though he is a minor character in the series unless you guys want him to be a major one), i can already imagine the absolute hell you have to suffer not only from your family but from your own lover. just imagine the stockholm syndrome or the delusions you convince yourself with because you're finally loved by someone but that love restricts you from the very freedom you tried to build.

the batfamily would be so conflicted because why are you choosing some stranger over them...? then you slap them in the face with, "well, this "stranger" wants to kidnap me and lock me up, sure! but at least they actually looked at me for more than five seconds!" and you can watch how the color drains off their face, their conflict giving you the perfect opportunity to run away from both your ex-family and your soon-to-be-kidnapper-lover who thinks your comeback is a funny way for you to propose.

[11cupids-tarot11]

What has your future spouse been dreaming about lately?

For the divine feminine seeking the divine masculine •°. *࿐

1 -> 4

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Pile 1- The Chariot, Two of Swords, The Hanged Man

I'm getting the feeling your spouse really wants to make a move on you! He's dreaming about what it's like to be all in your space, he really wants to know what you're like. I was thinking at first that maybe he wants to spend time with you and know what it would be like to do mundane things with you like grocery shopping, but I think this guy is more curious than that. I think he wants to know just about you in general and what you like doing, he's the type to watch what you pick up and glance at during shopping just to get a feel of what you like. He wants to know your schedule, how your day went, he'll probably ask this a lot.

I feel like this person has a crush on you? He feels kinda stuck, like the hanged man lol. I'm not sure the circumstances or the dynamic of the relationship/how you'll come together but it surely feels like this person is very secretive with his thoughts of you, like he's very open telling me but he's scared to tell you? Like maybe this is someone you know of and you guys are friends and they're secretly crushing lol, that was very specific so it's okay if it doesn't resonate with everyone. This could also be a secret admirer for some.

But he's dreaming about changing something with you, planting roots and something stable. I'm not sure what the change will be, but I am seeing him thinking of different approaches to overcome whatever hardship is happening between you two, it could also be something on their end like maybe shadow work still needs to be done or they're still dealing with a karmic relationship of some sort.

It seems to me like they're sorting through everything, they might fantasize about things finally coming to an end and being able to start something with you. I know as soon as this is finished they're spreading towards you. I think they really just want you to know they're still coming? I got this rush feeling, like an adrenaline rush feeling? I think this person just wants you to know they're still clearing through some things! "Just hang in a little longer!" I'm hearing with a cute little smiley face ☺️. Your person is adorable! I think they love acts of service too!

I think if this were to be a 18+ reading they'd definitely tell you about all of the things they'd love to focus on your body and needs lol.

I have to make an 18+ version of this now 😂 stay tuned!

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk again soon!!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Pile 2- Six of Coins, Eight of Swords in reverse, The moon, Temperance, Ten of Cups.

Your person dreams about spoiling you, pampering you, taking you out on really fancy dates (plus showing you off 😵‍💫) just treating you like you are their everything. I hear it's because you are their everything! They adore you so much!

This person talks a lot too and wanted to pull extra cards when I usually only do a three card pull spread lol.

This card makes me feel like your person kinda feels like a spider stuck in it's own web right now, they're really in their head :( I getting your person has a negative mindset? For some of you it could be specific as they feel like they're not on the same level as you whatever that might mean to them. They dream about cutting out of their web, I think for the benefit of the connection really but also for their piece of mind, yk?

Maybe this person feels like they have to achieve a certain amount of wealth before they come to you, which goes hand in hand what I was saying about really wanting to spoil you lol they want to save up a bunch so they can have a great future with you and for those of you who want children they also want to build a family for you so of course they want to save for this too.

They dream about having a steady home with you, I think they like to fantasize about your future a lot lol. They say it won't be perfect but it'll be the definition of love like a real family should be lol. They want a balance with you, they're also the type to be very balanced in a relationship, they'll balance work and you at the same time. I honestly get the vibe that's why they're working so hard right now, so they can spend the rest of their time with you more!

I think this person dreams about the day you two unite! With the ten of cups I feel they dream about a happy home with you a lot, but also a happy relationship. I can guarantee this relationship will be very fulfilling and healing and loving. Their energy feels so excited to meet you if you guys haven't already, a healthy and loving relationship could be something they've always wished for so this is a wish fulfillment for them, they can't wait to experience real love with you. 🩵 The color blue might be specific for a few of you?

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk to you soon love :))

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Pile 3- Knight of Coins, Justice (clarification cards- Death, and Strength), Two of Wands, Seven of Cups (clarification cards- Ten of Cups), and King of Swords (clarification cards- Knight of Wands)

I needed so much clarification for this group xD

Every time I look at the ducks eyes they always look so full of administration, anyone else see it? It's adorable. I channeled right away your person will adore you like this picture so I chose it!

I heard they think about this every day straight away lol.

Your future spouse fantasizes about putting hard work into you, really showing up for you I'm feeling. Like I feel like it's deeper than a materialistic matter, I feel like he really wants to support you emotionally. He doesn't want to be your therapist or anything it's like he just wants to make sure you're okay, he really cares about your well being. A better way to put this is that they really want to show up as a man in your life, one that doesn't have a toxic sense of masculinity and really respects women and wants to understand your needs, wants and boundaries I'm hearing. He likes to solve your problems because your problems are his problems.

He's dreaming about justice in a situation, I'm going to pull clarification cards for the Justice card to help understand a bit better because I want to know possibly in what situation, I can't figure that out on my own I'm not hearing much channeling on this card. The clarification cards just are making me feel it's probably a too personal situation they don't want me to know about, but maybe when you meet this person you will know because it's making me feel like it's linked to you, he probably doesn't want you to understand much either right now but he says he's working hard on getting justice in a situation he really wants to come to an end soon, I think when it's over it'll bring a lot of happiness, a shift in energy, a really big change :) He wants you to encourage him to be strong as he encourages you, it's a very tough situation maybe? Heavy energy kind of just came through me, like a little random rush of sadness just thinking about the question so I will move on now :)

This person fantasizes about making everything perfect a lot in a way, he really likes to plan. You'll notice this about them right away lol. They probably have a hectic schedule right now I'm hearing. They're possibly planning on how to get to you? This feels like a soulmate connection, something that's just supposed to happen because it just makes so much sense because you two love each other and really care for one another. This is someone who you can spend the rest of your life with because they're confident you two are a perfect match. Very equal in the relationship which is why it would work perfectly I'm hearing. He's just doing a bunch of planning right now, lots of thinking things over and through.

He dreams about probably having a lot of money, a level of fame? Maybe he's a celebrity or wants to be, he could be very creative and expensive. He dreams a lot very dreamy they could have water in their chart, they do feel emotional. They're so cute 😭

This person dreams about picking a path and advancing in it basically, they really want to be the boss, be at the top of their game whatever career or field it might be. They want a lot of abundance! They fantasize about being given an opportunity to present themselves, show off maybe. They could be a really good singer/rapper or some kind of performer. They could play an instrument.

I feel like they really want to settle down with you for sure though, they want to offer you a lot as well so they work really hard to show up financially, they could've grown up in poverty I'm hearing a specific message for some of you so being financially stable is everything for them. They want you right by their side ;)

This person was kinda hard to read but I think that's cause how dreamy they felt, thoughts kinda bouncing around everywhere haha, so take this how it resonates with you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk to you soon!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Pile 4- Seven of Coins, The Magician (clarification cards- Three of wands), Seven of Wands (clarification cards- Death and Queen of Swords)

This person wants to start off with the seven of wands first even though it was the last card to be pulled lol.

They want to maybe draw attention to dreaming about fighting for something? They are very protective and will stand their ground and fight for what's theirs. I can't really tell, so I'm going to ask for clarification ;) I don't know why but I feel like they want to sabotage a relationship between you and someone else? I feel like they fantasize about this a lot! I feel like your energy is the Queen of wands but you don't really see this person! This could be a clue your future spouse is someone you already know!

They dream about making you theirs lol stealing you away. 😋

So with that, they're also dreaming about the future with you! Working on their finances as well, but also thinking about what it would be like in the future with you. This person feels like they're confident they will have a future with you lol. Maybe they're not making a move right now because they want to build up their finances more for the long run with you, because when they do make a move on you they plan to commit deeply and I'm hearing they fell hard for you, and you possibly don't even know it 😵‍💫.

😭 🩷 you probably drive this person crazy lmao

He's probably manifesting you lol?

I asked for clarification for the magician as well and it just makes me think he's really brainstorming a lot right now? I think every pile had a lot of thinking in them but never really being too specific on what and I'm always left with so much quietness so I'm left in the dark😭

They're just really thinking a lot which makes me think it's only about you. They seem shy, they could be younger than you? They seem like they're too scared to tell you how they really feel. Could be scared of rejection? But they really do fantasize about you a lot! They think about you constantly and different ways to impress you, how to get your attention. They really want you my pile 4's and they're fighting hard hehe. They won't back down either!

They think you're very pretty, like the bunny in the picture 😻. Hehe cute.

They might call you princess a lot, or other cute little pet names. They feel very affectionate, they have a lot of love to give! This person isn't someone to be scared of, they do care about you! It's not all about lust, there's love here as well as admiration! They do adore you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk again soon love!!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

[misc-obeyme]

nightbringer lesson 41

Welp. That sure was a lesson. As always, my unfiltered thoughts and spoilers are below the cut. There will be screenshots, you have been warned.

Everybody still doesn't know we were gone. The only one who is aware of the fact that MC was in a different timeline is Solomon, as far as we know. It's possible that someone is hiding their knowledge, but I see no evidence of that currently.

HOWEVER. All the bros are SUPER clingy. Lucifer is constantly getting on their case about the fact that they can't leave MC alone. And at one point, he says he's feeling inexplicably giddy and he thinks that's what his brothers are feeling, too. So there is something that's changed and they can all kinda feel it... but nobody knows what it is and they all kinda just brush it off.

There's a lot of "huh we just saw each other but for some reason..." kinda stuff.

When Luke first sees us, that poor boy just bursts into tears. Simeon wants to pet our head, but we can also choose to hug him.

I have been known to have this affect on children, but still.

Overall, the brothers are being very much themselves. Beel is eating things and relating everything to food, Belphie is sleepy, Asmo loves pretty things, etc etc.

See what I mean? We did have some excellent one liners like this and I'll get to more of those lol.

My point is, nobody is acting off except for the thing where they all react a little weirdly to MC.

For a good chunk of the lesson, I was like... and where the HELL is Solomon after all this, huh?? But I'll get to him, too.

Because guess what? Diavolo has had another great idea and this time it's... the RAD Science Fair!!!

...

WHAT.

This feels very much like the usual thing they do where MC always has to have some kinda goal that requires them to spend time with each brother individually. I'm still not entirely sure how that's gonna shake out with this, though.

There are seven categories or "fields of study" as they're called. They all start with Devildom, so it's like Devildom math, Devildom geography, etc etc.

Diavolo tells them that the student council members are required to enter.

So they spend some time thinking about what category they want to go for.

There's this part where they're all heading home from RAD and MC starts to leave with Simeon and Luke. They tell you that not long ago, Simeon and Luke tried to go "home" to the HoL. Weird. All very weird. They all decide to go to a cafe instead.

They're talking about which category they're going to choose and then... Thirteen shows up!

Thirteen is so excited to see MC she has to give them a hug! Huh. How weird. (It's not weird, my love, you can throw your arms around me anytime.)

ANYWAY, they have a whole discussion and I loved how involved she was. Though we never have enough Thirteen content. And of course, she's still not dateable...

Then we find out that Lucifer has just chosen his brothers' categories for them anyway. MC gets to choose who they want to pair with. I chose Mammon, but I don't know if this actually matters or not. Usually I go back and try different options, but I decided to leave this one for now to see if it seems like it's going to make a difference in upcoming lessons. I'll report back if it seems to change anything later.

At this time, you also find out that Diavolo has decided to enter all seven categories, too. Barbatos is also entering, but only three categories. I almost lost my shit at this part but at least Barb gets to do only three. Diavolo is a crazy man who enjoys doing this sorta stuff, but Barb needs to take it easy he already works to much!

And that's basically it! There's this one cute part where you're finally at the HoL where you can choose to hang out with a set of brothers. No matter who you choose, it's a cute little scene and it always ends saying you had a lovely time together~ (Personally I thought the one with Asmo, Belphie, and Lucifer was the most entertaining lol.)

You talk to Solomon on the phone at some point too and he tells you...

Yeah. I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME. GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW I NEED YOU.

And then he hits us with this:

And I was like, fine I forgive you.

BUT THEN. Spoilers here for the locked lesson (41-A, not the hard mode):

The locked lesson is of your very first night back. You're in your room at the HoL with Solomon. He tells you he's going to stay the night because the fact that the two of you suddenly appeared in this timeline might make things unstable. And if you're together, it'll be easier to tell if something's going wrong. Sounds like a feeble excuse to me, old man. I know what you really want.

But he also says this:

OH. Here I am like, it's a couple hundred, maybe a couple thousand? NOPE. SEVERAL MILLENNIA.

But then the brothers burst in and they're like we are not going to let you stay here alone with MC! So they have a gaming tournament in the common room.

Then when it's really time to go to bed, Lucifer stops you and Solomon before you get back to your room. He straight up kisses you on the forehead and says sweet dreams with a stupid smug grin before leaving and Solomon is like huh. That just happened.

YEAH WELL.

Solomon is back on his, you'll never be mine bullshit. (I'm not blaming him, it's not his fault, but it bothers me how often this narrative comes up because we never get the choice to resolve it. By telling him how much we love him.)

Of course if you tell him to cheer up, though...

Yeah, right after this we got a fade to black because you know he might've been talking about something innocent, like a kiss. But if I'm left to fill in the blank myself... well, let's just say I'm still in my smut mode.

Spoilers for the hard lesson now:

It's silly times with the Little Ds! I'm just glad we got more Dia and Barb content, to be real with you. They're pretty cute with the Little Ds.

Right after Barb says this, looking super aggrieved about it, Diavolo just laughs happily. Classic.

Extra stuff:

After the second story node, you get to see a chat between Raphael and Simeon. Raphael tells Simeon that Michael has summoned him, so he needs to go back to the CR for a few days. Simeon says okay and hopes that everything's all right. Then he tells Raphael to tell Diavolo. Raphael is like why? And Simeon says you're an exchange student from the CR, you have to get his permission to leave. And Raph is basically like okay, fiiiiiine lol.

Also, there is a very brief moment at the end of the last story node where we see Simeon acting odd. He's not really doing anything, he's just sorta grunting... like grh and frowning. If you ask him if he's okay, he says he's fine, he must not have gotten enough sleep. You get a chat between Luke and Simeon where Luke also asks him if he's okay and Simeon gives him the same excuse.

Sooooo what does any of this mean? I have no idea. Is it possible that the hard mode focusing on the Little Ds means there may be more to the Little Ds coming up? Is Simeon acting weird somehow related to Michael wanting to see Raphael? Does any of this Science Fair stuff mean anything or is it just another tactic to have MC spend time with their bro of choice? When is Solomon coming back? Why doesn't he have to enter the Science Fair? Simeon said that Diavolo wanted him and Luke to participate, so what about Solomon? Is he really out there gathering herbs? That feels like a weird thing to be doing at this particular moment.

And perhaps the most telling of all, what it does mean that this version of our characters remember things from the timeline we just left as if it only just happened to them?

All through the last two seasons, I have been trying to figure out why the characters from the past seemingly had memories of a future they haven't experienced yet. And now it's happening again. You could say they remember those past events, but they don't really seem to, do they? And even so, we now have confirmation that it would have been MILLENNIA ago for them. So this feels less like them remembering something that happened and more like they're just getting feelings that are related to the things that MC just experienced in the "past."

Ugh, okay, if I keep going I'm gonna make myself crazy. As always, we have not enough info and more questions than what we started with.

Onto my fave one liners:

Mammon's response to this is "Yikes!" And like... yeah, but damn Lucifer that's one hell of a threat lol.

Barbatos! Don't lump me in with them! :(

That was me in high school.

This part was just cute and wholesome in my opinion. This is the found family content that keeps me coming back to this game.

Anyway, after everything, I still just wanna know...

... where the FUCK is Nightbringer?

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[tofics]

Let There Be Light

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Part 3 to Almost Like You Need Someone

Summary: You, Dean and Sam are fighting America's monsters together. Coming from a long line of hunters, you fit right in with the Winchester boys, despite having been raised entirely different from the two. Where you were brought up with love and care, John raised Sam and Dean with rules and obedience. Seeing what Dean does for the world, you decide it's time that he gets his own share of love...

The three of you are out on a hunt when Bobby calls. He needs one of you to help out on a different case where one of his hunters isn't making any progress on his own. You open your mouth to volunteer, but Sam beats you to it by a mili-second. There's a strange sense of hastiness in the way he pledges his help to Bobby. Your own perplexity is mirrored in Dean's face as the two of you watch Sam throw his belongings together and then rush out the door in a flurry.

Dean eventually breaks the stunned silence that has settled in the room. "Dying to get out of here much?"

You're unsure of how to respond until he grins at you, his own uncertainty almost entirely hidden behind the boyish charm of his crooked grin. You release your own uncertainty in a short series of giggles which just widen Dean's grin.

"Well, look at it this way! More time for just you and me, then." You smile at him with one of your radiating smiles that, unbeknownst to you, make Dean's stomach flutter - before the realization hits, and the butterflies in his stomach break out into a frenzy.

You come to the realization about the same time as him, that suddenly, it's just the two of you without your buffer.

Oh dear.

One could think it doesn't make that big of a change, but it makes all the difference.

You and Dean return to your motel room late at night, looking like two people who just spent their last few hours digging through dirt, which in your case is more than accurate. Dean offers you to take the first shower and you happily agree. There's bits and pieces of dirt and God-knows-what on and in your clothes and you're itching, literally and figuratively, to just get out of them.

Your case, it turns out, was on the easy side for once. All you had to do was dig up some bones, then give them the old salt & fire treatment. The spirit vanished and that's that, case closed, work done.

Granted, there was a middle part where things got a bit gritty and you got thrown around a bunch, but it wasn't too bad, or at least so you think until the water hits your back and you involuntarily screech out in pain.

Dean calls out to see if you're okay and you call back something assuring, despite the gash on your back that you're somehow only now becoming aware of. It blooms in dark red on just below one of your shoulder blades and, now that you're aware of it, stings like hell. The rest of a shower is an awkward dance of trying to rid yourself of all the dirt while keeping water away from your wound. There have been easier tasks, but you've also been hurt a lot worse, so you don't feel like complaining much. Eventually, you leave the bathroom to make room for Dean, successfully avoiding him spotting the gash before he goes to take a shower. No point in worrying him, you think. You've been off worse. You'll have yourself patched up in no time.

Or so you think. But turns out the gash is in a really uneasy spot to reach, and no matter what, you just can't get the placing of the bandage right.

After Dean's turn, he finds you sitting on the bed with a t-shirt pressed to your front. Your back is bare and showing the nasty cut on your left shoulder. His eyes grow wide in shock and then narrow in concern an anger. "When'd this happen?" Three large strides and he's over by the bed. You shudder as his fingertips grace your skin. Dean thinks it's out of pain, but you barely feel the gash in your flesh. All you can think about is how his fingers feel on your skin, in a place he's never touched.

"This needs stitches." You watch as he gets to work and gathers the needed supplies; needle, yarn, a bottle of whiskey. He pours you a glass and then pours some over the needle. "Ready?" You chug your glass down and nod. It stings as the needle penetrates your skin and you hiss at the sensation.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know."

You know you should be in pain, and you are, but the butterflies in your stomach demand all of your attention, urged on by the whiskey in your system. They flutter around, fluttering against your insides, flapping their little wings so fast that you feel like you're vibrating from the inside out and you just wonder how Dean can't notice when the vibration is so strong that your hands are shaking. Sweetheart. That damn nickname again.

The whiskey reaches your head and sends it for a little spin while Dean continues to work on your back. Each needle pinch burns, but the pads of his other fingers gently resting on your skin to steady his hands are the more present sensation in your head.

"Almost done, sweetheart, you're doing so good." A breathy moan escapes your lips at his praise and you can't see it, but Dean's face is contorted from the pain he thinks he's causing you. He sees your shaking hands and curses himself for not having noticed that you were wounded earlier. With every stitch, the disappointment in himself for not having protected you grows. Every hole that he has to pierce through your skin feeds the growling monster inside of him that has been with him for years. It comes to life when he thinks he didn't do his best, that he let someone down. It roars when that someone is someone he cares about.

Dean stitches you up and the monster inside of him is thrashing and turning and clawing at his insides, furious that you're in pain when he came out unscathed.

You only notice the expression on his face when he's done patching you up. He walks past you with a grim face and pours himself his own glass of whiskey, then his second when the first one is quickly emptied. His anger confuses you - did you do something wrong?

Dean scoffs. "God, no, sweetheart, that one's all on me." There it is again, that nickname that turns your legs into melted butter, but now it's tinged with ugly sarcasm. You slide on your t-shirt carefully, belatedly realizing it's one of Dean's that you mistakenly grabbed from his bag instead of yours. It smells like washing powder and something that's distinctly Dean.

Lord have mercy.

You approach him and gently lay a hand on his arm. "Hey." He turns to you and his forehead is lined with wrinkles, the anger and concern etched into his skin. And despite the butterflies in your stomach, you can't help but lay a hand on his cheek as your protective instincts win.

A breath hitches in Dean's throat as your hand touches his cheek. Your skin feels ever so soft against the stubble on his jaw. It matches the softness in your eyes, the same look he's seen you give to the grieving. "This isn't on you." He sees your lips move and hears the words leave your mouth, but they don't register in his head. His sight and sense of touch are overshadowing everything else. The sight of your lips and the feeling of your hand on his cheek are all he can focus on and he feels like you're flooding him with light from the inside out.

"This isn't on you." You search Dean's face for any recognition of your words, but he doesn't respond. Instead, you watch how his lips part slightly, forming a surprised 'o' as his eyes change from dark to light and you can feel the anger dissipating like water on hot stone. You watch as the older Winchester brother turns from stone to life under your touch and all you can think is how it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

What just happened?

"What...?" You ask with a smile on your lips and Dean feels like his head might explode and shoot fireworks up into the sky.

He decides then that you have to know what you do to people, what you do to him. That your light shines brighter than anyone else's he's ever seen and he needs it more than he needs the sun itself.

His hand finds yours on his cheeks as he cups your face with his other and he sees your pupils widen in response.

"You...," he starts, but can't find the right words to properly articulate what he feels on the inside, the light and warmth you instill in him. The look of concern on your face almost makes him laugh, but instead, it just fills him with more love for you. Here you are, wounded, and yet you're worried that he's feeling too guilty over the fact that you got hurt in the first place.

"Do you know how incredible you are?" The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes it. He watches you blink in surprise and then smile that amazing smile, so full of warmth and happiness and so damn infectious that he feels the corners of his own lips rising.

You have a tendency of surprising Dean, but even so, he never could have predicted your next words. "Do you know how incredible you are?" It's not even a question of whether you mean it, he knows you do. You comment on the good in people often and it always goes over his head how with all the crap that's going on in the world, you still find a way to see the light in everyone. But where he already has trouble seeing light in other people, he doesn't really see it in himself.

"Mhh." Dean brushes a thumb over your cheek. Now or never, he thinks. "'Fraid I don't, but that's what I got you for, hm? You shine so bright, you illuminate everyone around you. Even me. Make me see light where there wasn't any before. Maybe... maybe someday I'll even see it in myself, if you'll help me see it."

Whomp. There it is. He can't believe he's put it out there, just like that. But that's what you do to him. He can bullshit his way through life, even lie to Sammy if he has to, but not to you. You bring out the truth in him like there's no other option in the first place.

Dean watches your face for a reaction, somehow convinced that this is where you'll draw the line and finally shut him out. There's an entire world of people waiting to be touched by your light, why should he get special treatment?

But you don't retreat or draw your hand back from his face. Instead, your beautiful eyes stay locked on his, and despite the uncertainty inside of him he feels the warmth and calm radiating from your gaze and seeping into him. How do you do that?!

And then suddenly, out of all the things you could do, you lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his lips. It's so sudden and your lips are so soft that when they're gone, Dean's not entirely sure he didn't make the moment up in his mind.

"I'll help you see how good you are, no matter how long it takes, Dean Winchester," you whisper and lean your head against his chest.

Sam, of course, notices the difference immediately when he returns. You and Dean are still awkward around each other, but the undertone has changed entirely. You're no longer desperately trying to make your love invisible to each other but to him, entirely unaware of the fact that out of the three of you, Sam was the first to know. But even then, if he hadn't known, it'd still be hard to miss. There are a lot of 'hidden' smiles between the two of you that are anything but hidden and glances at each other that even a blind person would have a hard time missing. Your attempts of staying neutral around each other are so painfully obvious that Sam doesn't last longer than a day before finally speaking up.

"Probably best if I pick my own room at the next stop," he mentions casually while the three of you are on the road to the next hunt. Both Dean and you react confused, but Sam makes quick work of shushing both of you. "Come on, you guys. I know. I'm just glad you two finally do too. Only took you forever to realize that you're in love with each other." Sam rolls his eyes and then stupidly grins to himself about the silence that settles in the car. You and Dean look properly shocked, yet neither of you tries to deny it. One glance in the rearview mirror and Sam sees the smile you're trying to bite away, a bit of color flushing your cheeks. Next to him, his brother has his eyes dead-set on the road ahead of him, but he knows Dean well enough to see the smug-yet-happy expression he's trying his hardest to hide. Sam can't help but chuckle.

"Happy for the two of you. But seriously. I want my own room."

A/N: Here we are, the mini-series is all wrapped up! 🥰 I had so much fun bringing this to the happy end they both deserve. I hope I did everyone's expectations justice - let me know what you thought! :)

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

Series Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

No pressure taglist: @deans-spinster-witch @zo-byeol @shanimallina87 @zepskies @artyandink

[dduane]

Ma’am Im in the final third of writing my first draft for my novel (just passed 70k words!) do you have any advice about book marketing or self publishing? Ive been looking at something called Royal Road also in regards to those two things but no on I know has even heard of it…

First of all: congrats on your 70K!

"Do I have advice about marketing or self-publishing?" Wow, probably way too much, at this point. But for the moment let's limit ourselves to specifics. :)

I hadn't heard of Royal Road either, so I went and did some poking around. Below is an article that deals with some basic questions about them.

(Adding a cut here, because this gets long...)

Having read this article, I went and had a look at Royal Road's ToS, and their fee structures.

The fees were the first thing that gave me pause. Specifically, this; while RR has free options for readers, they don't appear to have any free options for writers. (If I'm wrong about this, I invite anyone with a pertinent link to point me at it.)

Now, the rule in writing as regards money is this: "The money flows toward the writer." This rule was codified years back by writer Jim McDonald and called Yog's Law (and over here at John Scalzi's blog there's a discussion of the Law and what it involves in these self-publishing days). It means that any kind of professional writing or writing-for-pay that involves the writer paying someone else to get their work where people can read it must routinely be carefully examined. You, after all, as the writer, are the source of the product and of the value in the product. If you're paying anybody to help get your writing seen, you need to look carefully at who controls whatever you're paying for along the road to being published.

So: if you use RR, you're paying them to show your work to people. (It seems a bit like AO3, except RR charges you for publishing with them.) Their ToS emphasizes that you own your work, but if you use them to publish, "...you grant Royal Road a non-exclusive, worldwide, sub-licensable, revocable license to use, display, promote, edit, reformat, reproduce, publish, distribute, store, and sub-license Your Content on the Services. This allows us to provide the Services, and to promote Your Content or Royal Road in general, in any formats and through any channels, including any third-party website or advertising medium."

Okay. So how, though, do you get paid for publishing on this site?

RR simply says that you're allowed to link your work to your Patreon or your PayPal account, and can accept donations that way.

Well, that's nice. But it doesn't strike me as much in the way of a payday. (Especially after what Patreon takes off its subscribers' earnings these days.)

What people are seeing this work?

Just Royal Road members, as far as I can tell.

And how many of those are there?

...I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to quickly determine that with any certainty. There are numerous sites that talk about millions of pageviews (assuming that's what "M" means these days): but views are not users.

And what is feedback worth, from that readership? ...Also hard to say.

This equation has way too many imponderables in it for my liking.

There are a number of articles scattered around that discuss numerous webpublishing options and which seem preferable. (This one seems to rank RR highest.)

...If I'm starting to sound unenthusiastic about this whole prospect, I think that perception would be correct. From where I'm sitting, RR looks to me kinda like paying for feedback... and from what might be a fairly small, and at the very least, limited, pool of contributors. I'm not at all sure how this experience would be likely to do anything much but help you feel better about yourself as a writer. Which, well, sure, that's nice. But is it value for your money?

More: how does what you get from RR actually help you transit into the wholly different experience of getting your work edited, getting a cover for your first novel(s), and learning about marketing out in the broader marketplace? That's unclear to me.

(I have to add one thing here as a general caveat. I'm in the Really Annoying Congestion stage of a head cold at the moment, and as a result my view of everything today is significantly jaundiced. But I also have to say that I doubt this particular assessment is going to change much after my nose stops running.)

So. If I was in your position, I'd be tempted to give the RR concept a miss and start inquiring into how best to use actual online publication resources that feed into a system where to get your work at all, people give you money.... because Writers Gotta Eat. (And yes, there's a whole self-publishing strategy that runs on the Nickel Bag paradigm: make sample work free online—sometimes through a retailer like the 'Zon—and then have all the samples "point at" work that people have to pay for. But that's another discussion.)

Anyway: hope this has been of some general help!

[sink-me-in-your-ocean]

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰 III

What would it be like to sext/send nudes to the Ghouls and Papa Copia? 

Prompt by the magnanimous @endhisbloodlineinmyesophagus

NSFW/Suggestive below the cut.

Copia:

Count on this man to ruin the mood, not by his own accord (although he does get flustered)

It’s because of him misspelling things/not knowing how to work a phone

It barely matters though when you’ve got him hot and bothered and you know he’ll be thinking of you all day

You sent him a photo of your juicy thighs, pressed together from your seated position. Your garter belt just barely peeking out from underneath your short skirt. 

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙳𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶

Ducking, my heart?

𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜

I’m fucking crying 😂

𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚎?

(You can practically hear him cursing in Italian, getting mad at the stupid phone.)

I’ll come by later to teach you how to fix autocorrect

𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝

-

Swiss:

If you send Swiss a nude just know he’s smiling devilishly

Tries to lick his phone/bite his phone

Just feral things

Wishes he could climb inside his phone and kiss the pixels of your body

He immediately goes wherever he can and strips down to send you an equally racy reply 

You almost drop your phone at his response. There’s Swiss in all his naked glory, standing proudly in a mirror. Fuuuuck.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸’𝚖 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝

You didn’t give me any warning! Someone could have been looking over my shoulder!

If they were I’m sure they would also like what they saw

You’re incorrigible

Idk what that means  But I’ll take it as a compliment 😏

🙄 ... What are you doing right now? I need to see you

I’m getting ready for a ritual now but if we make it fast…

Say less 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️

-

Phantom:

His reaction to receiving a nude from you is best described in two words: 

Cartoon character

His eyes are bugging out and his heart is beating out of his chest

He practically drops his phone upon seeing the explicit photo you sent

I think I'm having a heart attack

Surprise 😽 did you like it?

When he doesn't reply, you actually get a little anxious (like, did he actually die?), but then it sounds like someone slams into your door and you about jump out of your skin.

You wrap your silk robe around yourself, barely getting it tied to answer the rabid banging at the door.

“Phantom! You’re all sweaty! Wait, did you run here?”

“Couldn’t. Stop.” He wheezes, “Had. To. See. You.” He collapses in a heap on the floor.

“Well you didn’t have to sprint here!”

He is still panting minutes later before he composes himself and grins up at you wickedly, “And you, vixen, didn’t have to send me photos of you naked, but here we are.” 

You've got a long night ahead of you.

-

Sodo/Dewdrop:

You didn’t think much of the picture you took

It was provocative, sure, but not explicit

Dewdrop thinks differently though

He’s a sucker for a tease

Boy is off his leash going feral 

Got any more? 🔥

You want more?

Fuck, yes

You send him another picture, this one showing more of your soft skin than the last.

Fuck me

When and where?

All day and I don't care

Bet

He pings your location, he’s on his way.

-

Rain:

You send him a text and a photo of yourself to accompany it

Rain’s phone is a lil slow though, so he only sees your text first

It’s not his fault

But it is his fault that he refuses to upgrade his phone...

I need your help, I fell out of my clothes 😏

Your phone screen lights up. Rain is calling.

You answer in a sensual voice, “Rain? Like what you s-?”

He interrupts you immediately, “You fell?!? Are you okay?!”

“Wait, what?”

He yells again, “Your text!!”

“Oh,” You pause, looking down at your message, “The photo I sent, did you get that?”

“Why would you send me a photo if you fell?”

An exasperated sigh escapes you, “Just wait.”

His phone pings, the picture message coming through finally. He sees a sultry photo of you, bare, in front of the mirror in your bedroom.

“Rain? Are you there?”

He spoke again after a moment, his voice about an octave lower, “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

-

Mountain:

He does not text

Like, barely at all if he can help it

If you want to discover his weakness though, just send him a suggestive photo

This ghoul will wax poetic about your body all night long

Unless he's tired of course

Hi you

Hi I’m so sleepy

I’ve got something that will keep you awake if you want

Oh?

You send him a suggestive photo of you in bed, the sheet pulled up just barely covering your body and showing plenty of skin.

Fucking hell

Yeah? What would you want to do if you were here?

…

The chat bubbles sit there for about ten minutes before you get antsy.

Mountain?

You send him a meme from SpongeBob: “One Eternity Later”. Still no reply.

I stg if you fell asleep…

The next morning you wake up to a text from him apologizing for falling asleep. A second message says that he isn’t going to tell you what he would do to you, that he’d rather show you instead.

-

Cirrus:

You didn’t give her any warning, you were just feeling yourself so you sent a little slightly nude photo

Cirrus doesn’t have her phone on her though, it’s in her bag

The kicker? She and Cumulus have the same phone, down to identical phone cases which were gifts from Aurora 

Better not open your phone in public while waiting for her to reply

She will always have to one-up you

Cirrus’ phone buzzes, but she ignores it.

Cumulus holds it up because she thinks it's hers and reads the lock screen, “Cir - your ‘Midnight Snack’ sent you a photo message.”

“Could you open it and see what’s up?”

“Sure.” Cumulus pauses, clearing her throat, “Get over here, you’ll want to see this.”

“What could it possibly be -” Her eyes widened into saucers. "That little -"

"Are you going to reply?"

"Yes," Cirrus says confidently, "and you're going to take a photo of me to send back."

There is one thing for certain: her "Midnight Snack" is getting a treat tonight.

-

Cumulus:

She carries her phone around of photo opportunities and to spam the group chat with memes only

You can send her a naughty pic if you want

But it’ll take hours for her reply

She will make the wait well worth your while

You send Cumulus about 20 or so texts before she finally replies to you.

She doesn't read anything, just sees the picture.

Look at you

It's about time!

You look good enough to eat

The moment is over, been over for hours Unless...

You're in luck, little temptress, because we're in different time zones So the moment is just starting for me

You play along, especially when she sends you a photo to up the stakes that has you falling to your knees.

-

Aurora/Sunshine:

Solely communicates via Snapchat, so it’s easy to get a little spicy

She doesn’t get what you’re trying to do though, at first

Once she catches on, all bets are off

What are you doing right now? 

The photo you send is slightly on the sultry side, your hair looking mussed, and your top undone a few buttons.

She sent you a picture back of her wide grin with the line: 

Just shopping! I wanted to get some ribbons for my mic stand 😁

Well what are you wearing?

Her next picture is from someone else’s POV of her body, she’s standing in a cutesy way in corduroy overalls with her arms crossed. 

Idk what this human outfit is called It combines pants and a top and I love it!

You smile at your phone, she’s so fucking adorable. You reply with a chat:

It’s called a jumpsuit, my sweet ❤️

Yes, that’s it! Cumulus says your first message was “sexting”?? 

Your face turns red and she sends another chat message in rapid succession.

I’ll be there after I check out! Don’t unbutton any more of that top! 🍽️

-

They're all truly living rent free in my brain rn

[hornychristianprincess]

wasted (leehan x fem reader) | preview

genre: college au, smut, fluff, angst, inspired by summer walker's wasted

pairing: fuckboy!leehan x reader

word count: anticipating 30k, will be split into 4 parts

summary: leehan doesn't usually do two-time hookups, and yet he makes an exception when he meets you. two times bleeds into three times bleeds into all the time, until you're in a full blown friends-with-benefits arrangement. surely this won't end with someone getting their heart broken, right?

estimated release date: TBA

preview below the cut

“I have to tell you, Y/N,” he opens his mouth to suddenly say, pulling away from your lips he goes to rid you of your shorts. “I don’t usually do two time hookups. After the first time, I thought I’d never you see again.”

Your chest rises and falls with the weight of several shaky breaths, desire racing through you as Leehan just plays with the little bow on your underwear, looking up at you as he awaits your response. “And is that what you wanted?” you ask. “To never see me again?”

“Not particularly. Still, that’s usually how these things go,” answers Leehan in an almost unfeeling way, something you don’t dwell on as the yanking of your underwear down your legs brings your attention to more important matters. ”But then you show up here, all pretty and badly-behaved, I couldn’t wait to get you alone.”

You’re not even given a chance to laugh at the words he uses to describe you before he lets a single, bony finger slip into your wetness, the stimulation of which has you already mewling, arching your back. He pushes it in and out of you in slow, teasing movements that are made lewd by the sound of your wetness gushing in and out with his finger. When he goes knuckle deep, curling the digit inside of you, you throw your head back, asking for more.

“I wanna make you come, Y/N. I wanna make you come so bad.”

“So do it,” you mumble in response, once again struck by the intensity of him giving you pleasure like this while keeping his eyes locked on your face. Despite your pleading and his own admitted eagerness to please you, he maintains a steadily slow pace of pushing his finger in and out of you.

“I have to let you know something first,” he says, and although you hear him take on a more serious tone, you don’t pay any mind to it, too focused on your building pleasure to analyze another one of his characteristic changes in disposition. “I’m not interested in being your boyfriend. Or anyone’s boyfriend for that matter.”

You slightly perk up at these words, wondering why it’s so important for him to tell you them now after he’s already took your clothes off and began fingering you into bliss. You don’t say anything in reply, only moan, hoping he’ll add another finger as he continues his languid movements.

“And if that’s an issue for you,” he continues, his voice grave and deep. “If you can’t fuck me knowing that, then we should stop now.”

To perhaps emphasize how serious he’s being, Leehan takes his finger out from you in one sudden movement, leaving you empty and unsatisfied. It has its desired effect because you find yourself sitting up, finally taking real consideration of his words.

“But if you still want me,” he says, the two of you face-to-face in a way that lets you see the absence of amusement in his expression for the first time since he started talking. “Then dare I say that I’ll look forward to this becoming a regular thing between us. Should you want that, of course.”

He runs a hand through his hair, perhaps expressing a bit of nervousness as he awaits your response to this sudden proposition you’ve been given. Finding it hard to take any of his musings serious, you reach a hand up to cup his cheek. “I mean, you’re not wrong,” you assert with a tilt of your head. “Why settle down when you can fuck anyone you want?”

Immediately understanding what you’re referencing, Leehan smirks. “You heard that?”

“Yeah,” you confirm with a pitying half-smile, “and it almost made every bit of attraction I had for you dry up.”

Even as Leehan smiles shyly, looking down to avoid your gaze, you still don’t get the feeling that he’s at all regretful about what you overheard him saying. “I mean, was I wrong?” he raises, running his fingers along the skin of your bare leg. “Right now, you’re what I want, and I’m fucking you, aren’t I? Is that not what this is?”

Faced with the reality of Leehan’s advances for the first time, you have a hard time deciding how you feel about the proposition he’s posed. You feel pulled to Leehan in a way you haven’t felt for anyone, ever. And a part of you is disappointed and maybe even a little sad that he’s basically asking you to boil down a dynamic you were curious to watch grow to just detached, casual sex. 

You could say no and remain friends. You’d be able to watch your relationship play out in a platonic manner. But that would be denying yourself of some of the best sex of your adult life, not to mention the pure herione that is feeling sexually desired and wanted by him.

Faced with such a dilemma, you defer to your instincts. And instinctually, you’re inclined to believe that maybe you and Leehan were meant to meet this way. Before now, you don’t think you would have ever went for someone like Leehan with romantic intentions. He’s too wayward, too free-spirited. And yet, your paths were brought together in an unlikely way, and perhaps you should lean into the feeling that caused you to follow him into a stranger’s bedroom just a few weeks ago – the promise of mindblowing sex.

“You’re an enigma, Kim Leehan,” you declare with sincerity. “I don’t want to be your girlfriend either. No offense.”

“None taken,” he replies with breezy indifference, bringing his hand to lay over the one you have on his face. “But don’t say that so easily. You don’t know me well enough yet.”

You roll your eyes at yet another show of cockiness from him. “And are you saying if I did, I would fall for you?”

Even as his expression remains passive, he replies forebodingly, “Isn’t that usually how these things end?”

You’re not sure what to make of that statement, so you decide not to respond. “Like I said, I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I do, however, want you to fuck the shit out of me. You’re capable of that, no?”

Leehan stares at you like he’s only now just capturing you and your essence, and his expression is that of someone in awe. It makes your heart and core flutter at the same time. “I really hope you’re being serious when you say you don’t want to be my girlfriend, Y/N,” he mumbles, and then, he’s leaning in to kiss you

a/n -- send an ask or leave a comment to be added to the taglist for when this fic drops!

[jamiebluewind]

Warning! Pet illness, xray

A friend of mine a few states away had a pregnant female cat walk onto her porch and decide she lives now. She had 3 kittens. Since my friend/roommate @winterpower98 was looking for her first cat, we (other roommate/bestie, Winter/Gaia, and I) decided to take a trip down to visit and see if one of the kittens would work for her.

The thing is, she did fall in love with one! He's black with white markings, so the 6 year old had been calling him Eclipse. He's, curious, playful, and always trying to get into something. He loves Gaia. I mean LOVES her. And she loves him. Like... emptying her savings loves him.

Right before we arrived, our friend noticed a little lump on his belly. They thought nothing of it. And then, it got bigger. And bigger. And bigger.

After a week, we took him to a local vet to get checked out. He had a umbilical hernia. Luckily it stopped before his diaphragm, but the hernia was severe enough that he would need surgery to close it (a lot of articles talked about smaller ones closing on their own which is why we waited). He would also need special care for IBS symptoms and to keep his hernia from getting injured or obstructed before repair (which couldn't happen until he was big enough to go under anesthesia). He would need to come indoors for his safety and be separated from the others as his sisters pouncing on the hernia was causing issues (a week earlier than the 8 week mark).

I was honestly expecting Gaia to say it was too much for her to handle. Even told her that nobody would judge her for not being ready for that level of responsibility. That we could find an organization that could take him and get him the help he needed and find him a good home. He has two sisters she could consider, there were plenty of shelters back home with cats under a year old, and we could even check the town we were visiting and places on the way back home, so there were options. I knew how much it took to care for a kitten with health issues (my current cat required months of specialized care and there were plenty of scares along the way) and Gaia has no previous experience with cats outside of hanging out with our cats, so that's just starting on hard mode.

After a long serious talk on the responsibilities she was about to take on, she said she knew it would be hard but the thought of giving him up made her sick. That she would do whatever it took to give him a happy life for however long she has him. We aren't rich people, she's going back to college full time, she had only decided on him over one of his sisters that morning, and (again) this would be the first cat she has ever had. She went all in without a second thought.

The original quotes from various vets willing to do the surgery (not all vets can) were pretty insane, but luckily I found a non-profit that did the surgery for about half. My other roommate and I fully support her and chipping in what we can.

Eclipse is 8 week old and his surgery is scheduled in a month, but we are going to call in and check for cancelations since he's reached the minimum weight and age for anesthesia. Winter has been so busy caring for him that she's not had a chance to post about him, so I decided to do it on the drive home. I think the story is important because it raises awareness about an issue most don't know about and shows someone genuinely caring about a pet with special needs. As a disabled person who's went through a lot of ableism and survived abuse, it really hit me to see how much she loves him with her whole chest and doesn't ever approach his issues with anger or blame.

I don't ask for reblogs much, but I wanted to ask you guys to boost this. I linked Gaia's PayPal below if anyone wants to help take some of the financial burden off her, but you can also support her with messages and boosting this and her future post/s about Eclipse (cut her some slack guys, she's currently in tired new mom mode). I don't expect anyone to donate because I know you guys are mostly in the same shape as us, but I think showing Gaia support is just as important.

Now if you'll excuse me, the hyperactive boy got the zoomies and just jumped in the toilet XD

Edit: Late thing to add on, but a few days after posting this my other roommate/bestie Sarah decided to adopt his sister! Her name is Melanite, but her honey eyes have earned her the nickname Miel. Her and Eclipse have always been very close (often laying on top of each other), so it's great that they'll get to stay together.

[toffeecoffeee]

An Analysis of Shelly

I know what you're thinking. "But Toffee, you only ever post Goob-related content! What's with this sudden Shelly craze?"

Now, my one and only favorite character is and always will be Goob, but I have started to take an interest in Shelly's character lately. And hoooo boy, it has been one HELL of a rabbit hole. Plus, I haven't seen anyone else actively point this out, so I'm doing it myself.

Are you ready?

Let's begin.

(analysis below cut)

The first thing about Shelly that struck me as odd in the new update was her design.

Now, there is absolutely nothing bad about her design-I find it very good, actually!-but when I saw that she was a MAIN CHARACTER TOON (I wasn't keeping up with update news), I was shocked. Everything about her design, from the clothing she wears to the colors made her look like a more...out of the way character. A character meant to have one singular purpose, and then be brushed aside and forgotten. The fact that she was one of the main toons was....strange.

I mean, look at her compared to Teagan!

If you knew about Dandy's World, but didn't know about the update, which one would you guess was the main toon?

I found this...interesting.

Then, I looked into her dialogue on the wiki.

Average stuff, for the most part. She didn't really have anything that jumped out at me. In fact, she didn't show too much unique personality at all. The only thing she was really doing was helping others, or occasionally asking for things from others. Nothing else, really.

Although, there was one strange piece of dialogue that caught my eye, that actually showed a hint of what kind of person Shelly is.

Odd, but ok...

And then, I read the description for her twisted form after finally getting 50%....

And it all made sense.

See it yet?

Let me highlight it for you.

"The blatant ignorance of her existence by everyone around her has enraged her."

At first I thought that this had to be an exaggeration. Surely this friendly and helpful toon couldn't just be ignored like tha-

Oh.

They're right.

Every single bit of dialogue she has is either her helping someone or her asking for something. It's sort of like that person at a job you like being around, but you never really get to know. That's Shelly with basically EVERYONE.

Seriously, name ONE genuine friend that she has currently IN THE GAME (not counting Sprout) that she has had an actual conversation with where they bond and get to know each other as people.

The only time she had some sort of conversation was with Teagan, when she mentioned she was doing ok..."sorta-ish". That line in itself is interesting as well, as it shows how she feels about all of this. But still, they don't really seem to be friends.

We're dipping into a bit of headcanon territory here, but I believe it's rooted enough into Canon to include.

Shelly is someone who craves human (or in this case, toon) connection. She wants to be dependable, to be the one people can fall back on when they're feeling down, to be the one people rely on, and she has that, in a sense. However, no matter how much she does for others, no matter how much she helps them and supports them...

People only see her as..someone to ask for help on occasion. Uh oh, I dropped something, better get that fossil girl to help, since she's always so useful. And that is a part of what Shelly wants!

But that's it.

Useful.

A tool to use and then toss aside for the next person until they need her again.

That's all there is to almost every relationship she has.

And part of it is her fault.

You see, Shelly is so focused on helping people that she forgets to take that next step to forge true friendships, and unfortunately, nobody seems to ever catch on that she wants to take that step to forge genuine bonds with others.

She's non-confrontational by nature, and she doesn't want to ruin her perception of being useful, because then people might forget about her entirely, so she waits and hopes that someone will hear something that she will never say herself.

A good example of this is the strange dialogue I mentioned earlier between Shelly and Vee.

Vee asks if she's busy after they're done with going down the elevator. Shelly initially doesn't believe that anyone would ever ask HER of all people to...possibly hang out...and talk..like friends...

So she gets excited. She asks what they're going to do together (although notably phrasing it in a way so it seems like she is offering to help), and...

It was...just moving some supplies. More work. More reasons to be useful. This isn't a bad thing! It means that people care about her! That they have need for her, so they'll never forget about her! It's not like she hoped that someone actually wanted to take time out of their day to hang out with her, nope! She'd never tell Vee any of that! And besides, she's totally fine with this!

So why does it hurt so badly?

Shelly's greatest fear has been happening to her for years, and she refuses to agknowledge it. To her, it could be so much worse if she stopped helping people. As long as she's useful, people will like her. They would never even think to toss her aside and forget about her, right?

Except they have been for a long time now.

When people talk to her, she either has to initiate by asking for something, or they initiate only because they need something from her. She wants to tell them so badly, to ask them why they never seen to pay any attention to her, or attempt to even have a real conversation with her, but she will never be that bold.

Even with the cardboard cutouts on one of the maps, she's hidden in the back-present, but barely noticed by those around her. (this is more obvious in game)

No matter how much she tries, no matter how friendly or helpful or dependable she is, people never seem to see her as a person. Why don't they see her?! She's right here! She's here and she's endlessly waiting for connections that will never come to pass! It's fine though, really!

Keep being friendly, and people will like you more.

Keep being helpful, and people will have a reason to talk to you.

Keep being dependable, and people will have a reason to come back. They won't ever leave you alone. Right..?

Keep being friendly.

Keep being helpful.

Keep being dependable.

(That's all you'll ever be.)

Ironic that a fossils greatest fear is being forgotten.

[aroaceleovaldez]

I HAVE BEEN REMINDED OF SOMETHING i think i've made a post about it before but maybe it's just sitting in my drafts. idk, whatever, I will ramble again. Said thing that reminded me was a tiktok by madison_murrah about how the PJO TV show doesn't get the balance between mundanity and magical correct for pjo and I want to expand on that cause while a.) it totally is a problem in the show and i take issue with it, b.) it is also a problem in later books and i ALSO take issue with that too and i would like to elaborate on it

this got long so ramble of the day below the cut:

so the thing is that PJO is actually pretty unique in it's approach to hidden world modern fantasy. like, hidden world modern fantasy is a decently established genre with a ton of examples, but there's a reason why PJO stands out so much, and that's because technically it's NOT "hidden world." There is very intentionally no distinction between the mundane world and the mythological, at least in first series. They 100% overlap. And you do not necessarily need to be "special" to see the "mythological world-" some mortals are totally naturally clear-sighted, a lot of kids are clear-sighted, and it's like 50/50 for if mortals can become clear-sighted. In fact, most demigods aren't immune to the effects of the Mist, all that really matters is if you're actually thinking about being able to see through it. And there's a reason for that!

In general, this format of the "hidden world" modern fantasy serves two purposes: One, as the series is meant to introduce people to Greek mythology and explain why it is relevant and how it can be relatable in modern contexts, it intentionally juxtaposes myths against modern concepts: Medusa runs an apparently average garden statue store. Procrustes runs a mattress store. The entrance to the Underworld is in LA at a record store. Circe lives on an island paradise that's secretly dangerous. Hydras are like chain donut stores that seem to pop up on every corner. Perseus and his mother struggle in Perseus' childhood but get a happy ending. Calypso has an island paradise where the challenge for the hero of our story is being tempted to leave behind his goals. The plot of Sea of Monsters is blatantly the Odyssey, and it's about Percy trying to get to his best friend (who he shares a literal psychic link to) who is in danger of getting married to someone awful (a literal monster) to help you understand Odysseus trying to get back to Penelope and how important to each other and in sync they are. Battle of the Labyrinth is Theseus and the Labyrinth and it's Percy/Theseus trying to protect his home and his people and fellow kids (like Nico) from the dangers in the maze. These are all supposed to help us understand what is actually going on in those stories.

We also still see how Greek mythology influence shapes and influences western culture in general in their world (which is supposed to be our own and so uses real-world examples) - in government, in architecture, in pop culture - Mythomagic is clearly supposed to be your standard TCG like Magic The Gathering. And in general there is no distinction between where the mythological ends and mundane begins - Camp Half-Blood is both a magical training space for demigods and your run of the mill underfunded summer camp, complete with cheesy camp songs and t-shirts and crafts. Olympus is located on top of the Empire State Building which is operating completely as normal except for when a demigod asks to go to a non-existent floor. Your best friend with a muscular disease in his legs is secretly a satyr. Your brother with down syndrome is a cyclops. Your teacher in a wheelchair is secretly an immortal centaur. Your crappy algebra substitute is a literal fury. But also they're still your teachers. The satyr is still your best friend, the cyclops is still your brother. And that brings me to the second aspect of all of this (which i have talked about before [here] and [here]) - the other purpose it serves is that it is an extension of the overarching disability themes that form the core of the series.

The entire reason that meshing of mundanity and magical is so intertwined is entirely because it's part of the disability metaphor, specifically inspired by early 2000s parenting/teaching concepts for children with disabilities, particularly learning disabilities, as trying to reframe disabilities as "superpowers" to empower kids (and still exists in some more modern forms - like referring to disabilities as "being differently-abled") (I talk about it in my previous post on the subject but this generally fell out of favor due to many kids/students finding it belittling of their struggles) - this is why we get the description of ADHD and Dyslexia being framed as "demigod superpowers." In the series this structure is intentionally made to encourage kids to reframe how they view disabilities in general as not something negative but something interesting and fantastical that they may be more open to engage with - and PJO does this in a really nice way where a lot of the disability struggles are still acknowledged and treated sympathetically. Kids still get bullied, Percy and Annabeth struggle in school or with reading/spelling, they grapple with both internal and external ableism. The entire reason for the titan war in the first series, at least from the demigod perspective, is criticizing flawed systems meant to support disabled people that don't do their job effectively or let too many people fall through the cracks. The Mist "hiding" the "mythological world" from mortals (and even some demigods) is about how most abled people (and some undiagnosed people) don't recognize disability struggles until it affects them personally. None of these things are glossed over! It's handled with nuance and care! The series says "you can be disabled and you can be like these fantastical heroes - not in spite of your disability, but alongside it. Neither negates the other." The series was explicitly made so Rick's disabled son could see himself in a hero and learn about mythology for school. Those are the two pillars of the entire franchise: Disability and learning about mythology.

So, when you mess with that "hidden world" structure, the entire thing falls apart and it immediately doesn't feel right, because it's no longer serving either of those two purposes when it needs to be fulfilling both. Late-series Riordanverse has a tendency to compartmentalize the mythological and keep it entirely sectioned off from the mundane. Think about first series and even TKC versus later series - how many mortal characters are there? what do they do? are they just in the background or do they interact with the main cast frequently? are they more than just family or an extension to the main cast? First series we see Percy's classmates frequently, Percy talks about his mundane experiences at school, multiple mortal parent characters (and other mortal characters like Rachel) are active participants in and vital to the plot. We even see a lot of background mortal characters. In TKC, not only are all the magicians technically mortal, but also Sadie's completely mundane best friends help her out. Now think about HoO, or ToA, or even MCGA. Think about the mortal characters in those series. How important are they? Out of the important ones, how much are they in mundane situations versus being almost entirely involved in something mythological? How many aren't related to any of the main cast? How many aren't actively working for a god? The answer is basically zero! Why is that? Because Rick stopped letting the mundane exist. The entire draw of the main series is that Percy does continue to live this mundane life and that adds to his mythological life and makes the balance and meshing between them interesting, but basically all mundanity ceases to exist by HoO. Camp Jupiter is an isolated entirely magic town. Percy and Jason's schools are full of mythological beings as basically the only people they interact with. The Tri's headquarters is an entire giant building in New York City that they completely control that just so happens to ALSO be directly across the street from the local Oracle's house, because even where Rachel lives isn't allowed to be mundane anymore. Why is Olympus just at the top of the Empire State Building versus the Tri having an ENTIRE building? That feels weird and unbalanced, particularly given the difference in importance between those two! Because one is playing into that balance of the meshing of mundane and magical and the other isn't! The show continues this trend. It doesn't allow any of the mythological to exist within mundanity like it functions in the books, which creates a completely different atmosphere and doesn't allow those spaces or scenes or characters to serve their actual narrative purposes, either making it easier to understand mythology contextually or what disability metaphor or representation is occurring there.

It's part of the problem with show!Percy being too mythologically-savvy - Percy is supposed to be the mundane lens unfamiliar with mythology that the audience is learning by proxy through. That's the entire point of the series! If you have Percy already know everything because he's already too ingrained into this mythological environment from the start, and he just exists in this entirely magical world where he understands everything immediately then the literal target audience of the entire franchise (students being introduced to mythology) is left behind! That's part of why the pacing of the show feels so bad! It's rushing through every scene that's more or less the same as the books, particularly anything mythological, because the show is assuming you've already read the books and already know enough mythology to know what it is and what happens and that you don't want to see it again, so it rushes through. The show doesn't explain things that it presumes you already know - worldbuilding, character decisions, basically any mythology, etc, so it doesn't even bother with it.

Later books in the franchise do this too - as long as it's tangentially Greco-Roman mythology, or if it's anything to do with the main series like a reference in TKC or MCGA or etc, it's not going to elaborate much if at all. HoO speeds through Jason's introduction to CHB, and the only reason we get much introduction to Camp Jupiter is because it's actually new. We're no longer trying to contextualize or learn about mythology, it just all becomes set-dressing and references thrown at you rapid-fire as filler. By late HoO and into TOA and TSATS and such, we're not longer even within the realm of pretending like we're adhering to mythology at all. Why is Iris a vegan? Why is Rhea a hippie? Dunno, don't care! Literally doesn't matter! Why are the pandai panda/elephant-monsters and the troglodytes frog-monsters when that's not part of their actual history at all? Well a.) literally just word associations and b.) possibly a little bit of racism (they're supposed to be humans from India and northern Africa, and you made them monsters. cool. okay. and their plotlines totally aren't horrible within those contexts. awesome. please try thinking literally at all next time, thanks). We're not even bothering to look at mythological instances anymore for a basis, a lot of it's written like we're just going based on the first results on google (hi Menoetes and the cacodaemons - the latter of which is not even spelt correctly once in the entire book - which is weird because they do say "daemon" so they know the word. Not that the cacodaemons are mythologically accurate at all because then they would be humanoid. Instead they seem to just be inspired by the things from Doom). None of it serves the purpose of the narrative at all; we're literally just making random choices, some of them quite distasteful! In large part due to refusing to acknowledge the actual contexts of the myths and how that might translate into something similar or equivalent a modern setting to help conceptualize it - something the first series did inherently by design. And we need this! A.) So that you're less likely to make bad decisions because you are inherently thinking about the historical and cultural contexts of these things and how to compare/explain it, and b.) because the audience for later books/the other series and the show is going to be the same as the first series! Those nonsensical references may be at best cameos to people who are already familiar with them, but if your intended audience is new to mythology then making references like that is just going to leave people out of the loop! You don't shift your target audience in the middle of a franchise!

Later books in the series and the show are failing to understand what the first series was actually doing narratively and how it was approaching these subjects and its audience. When you fail to do that, it completely messes up the general worldbuilding and the core themes and intentions of the franchise as a whole. Once you lose touch with that you might as well just be writing a completely different franchise. You need to approach it from the same lens or else it will feel completely off, because otherwise you've lost all base touchstones that make the series what it is.

[flametrashiraarchive]

Hai um, can you do like, Rengoku x Reader who struggles with body insecurities? Mainly like, the tummy or back plush?

HELLO! Yea!

I did already do Rengoku x chubby!reader but I don't ever think there can be enough of the sunshine man, so yes, yes I can!

There are 3 things in Demon Slayer I refuse to accept: 1) that the breathing styles don't actually create the cool effects, 2) that thing about what happens after they activate the slayer marks, and 3) that Kyojuro has a six pack. My boy lives on copious amounts of carbs and fried food and has a little squish himself (also it just makes sense for a swordsman to have extra padding- would you rather get stabbed through your muscles and internal organs or a couple of inches of fat? Anyway...)

KYOJURO X CHUBBY READER- Tummy Edition.

(God I fucking love him)

NSFW beneath the cut. GN!Reader. TASTY.

You're at the kitchen sink washing sweet potatoes for dinner when Kyojuro comes up behind you and hugs as he often does, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and pressing his lips to your neck.

He feels you tense up slightly. You stiffen in his arms and your hand defensively goes to capture his wrist.

He knows immediately what's wrong. He's very good at reading people and this has happened before. You're concerned about your tummy again.

"You're so beautiful," he assures you, his voice soft and low against that spot just below your ear. "Inside and out."

You try to cover your vulnerability with humor and hold up one of the vegetables in your hand. "Nah, I look like this."

His thick, black eyebrows slant in concern, "Now, sunflower, you know how I feel about sweet potatoes. They're beautiful too. But..." He loosens his hug a little to place his hand across your belly. "They're hard and un-cuddleable, and you're soft, so the comparison doesn't really hold up beyond you both being my favorites."

You smile and he leans into you, kissing your temple. "Did someone say something to hurt you?"

"No, it's just a feeling." You look down, as the weight of your insecurity crushes you.

"Hm," he hums thoughtfully.

He turns you round to face him and gets down on his knees, gazing up at you with adoration and reverence. He takes your hand in his and gives it a soft squeeze.

"I need you to listen to me, but I will repeat it as many times as you need me to. You are beautiful to me. I adore every aspect of you, and that includes your softness."

He tells you this with the utmost sincerity and gentle kindness, his thumb stroking circles on the back of your hand as he speaks.

And when he's done and you nod your head in understanding, he pulls you into an embrace, resting his cheek on your stomach and smiling to himself.

He's telling the truth too; he will absolutely tell you how wonderful you are to him however many times it takes and he means it wholeheartedly.

No matter what your insecurity is; your tummy, your back, arms, thighs, chest, he adores you and thinks you're the most wonderful person. His very favorite person, in fact.

Now... when it comes to insecurities about your body during sex, Kyojuro is just as supportive, but he will show you how much he appreciates your body, as well as simply telling you.

OBVIOUSLY Kyojuro is King of Going Down and he will happily spend forever between your thighs, but if you're self conscious about your tummy he's gonna make a little stop there first.

He'll kiss it all over telling you how gorgeous you are, that you're precious and wonderful and worthy.

He'll get so wrapped up in your loveliness he'll forget how loud he is.

*kiss* BEAUTIFUL! *kiss* GORGEOUS! *kiss* SEXY!!

You laugh because your lovely man is just so effusive with his love and appreciation of you, and it's impossible not to feel it.

And then he'll wipe that smile off your face as his kisses trail lower...

While he's going down on you, he'll lay his arm over your stomach. Since he can't hear well (especially with your thighs cradling the sides of his head) your belly tells him a lot about how you're enjoying yourself.

He pays attention to the rhythm of your breaths, the tension in your muscles and the way your soft body moves with them.

He LOVES the way your lower belly tenses when you're right on the brink.

And when he's made you cum he'll make sure you're fucked right.

He never gives you less than his all.

He'll either press down into you, relishing the soft, plush warmth of your body against his

or he'll have you ride him; half-closed fiery eyes drinking in the sight of you, hypnotized by the way you move.

"Beautiful~" he whispers, because he simply cannot hold that thought in.

He just adores you.

No matter what, his love for you burns bright, and he'll spend his life trying to get that fire to spread to your heart too.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

thank you so much for that excellent chani post. i've seen some annoying takes on twitter about how not making her totally devoted and subservient to paul makes her 'unlikeable' and i'm like. buddy. i think that speaks more to how you see women. than anything about her. this chani is very dynamic and interesting to me.

i'll be honest and say i've not read the books. this is me speaking from what i've seen of summaries, but i think giving her a real cause to fight for yet also genuinely loving paul gives her an interesting struggle, and also plays into how the portrayal of the fremen (seems to me to be) more diverse and nuanced. as in, the fremen themselves seem to have more of a push-and-pull to them. the clarification of how different fremen believe differently (the south being more fundamentalist) is a very important thing to include in a movie where you can run into the danger of saying that all adherents to a foreign, islam-adjacent (in coding) religion are all fundamentalists. that can (in less nuanced hands) be a pretty irresponsible thing. so showing that there's also more secular/pragmatic/less dogmatic sectors of the culture seems a pretty good counterweight.

so yeah. this is how i processed it as a movie-goer. and having chani represent that aspect (believing in people over prophecy, action over religion) and having stilgar as the humanized face of the southern peoples (showing that yknow, regardless of being fundamenist beliefs, theyre still PEOPLE with the capacity for love, friendship, honor) makes total logical sense. you're not just "telling" us that there's different aspects to fremen culture, you're SHOWING us by showing different characters who represent those aspects, without demonizing either or turning either into a one-note stereotype.

Thank you! I'm not someone who was a long-term fan of the books before the movie came out (I tried reading Dune as a teenager when I was reading a lot of classic sci-fi but found it too boring) but I did read Dune and Dune Messiah after the first movie came out, both because I wanted to know what happened next and because I wanted to have an opinion on how the movies worked as adaptations.

(book and movie spoilers below and also I basically ended up writing a whole essay in response to this)

My single biggest frustration with the book is that after they arrive at Sietch Tabr and Jessica drinks the Water of Life and becomes Reverend Mother...the book up and skips two years of the story and when we next see Paul he's already got Fremen followers who are ready to die for him and he's in an established relationship with Chani. Oh I was SO MAD when I got to this part. I was like FRANK. FRANK!!!! Did you seriously just skip two years of the most interesting part of your own story???

The thing is, even though I know that Frank Herbert's intention was to write a critique of the idea that oppressed people need an enlightened external (white) savior to liberate them...if you don't provide an alternate explanation for what's happening then you end up falling into some Orientalist tropes anyway. And because, in the book, we don't see the process of how your average background fedaykin comes to trust Paul as a military and political leader, there is nothing in the text to counter the idea that the Fremen are a bunch of unquestioning religious fanatics easily swayed to do violence by belief in a prophecy.

My second biggest frustration with the book is that we're given no reason at all why Chani would fall in love with Paul. While she has some memorable scenes, she doesn't have a lot to do as a character in the book, and she's missing from a whole chunk of the end...because she's in the south...because she and Paul have a baby, Leto II, who's then killed off-page when the sardaukar attack the south. (I'm honestly really glad they cut this from the film, because it never seemed to be given the narrative weight it deserved in the book.)

So you can imagine how happy I was when the Villeneuve movies figured out how to address both these frustrations by tying them together. The fedaykin don't just blindly accept Paul because of some prophecy. They come to trust him because he proves himself as a fighter, and because he starts out from a place of genuine solidarity and humility--which it is possible for him to do because he has no structural power over them at that point. And Chani falls in love with him for the same reason, in that heady environment of fighting side by side for a political cause, and maybe for the first time in a while starting to believe that you can win.

I think the Villeneuve movies improve a lot on what's in the book in terms of how the Fremen are portrayed...when we're with the fedaykin and/or Chani and Stilgar. There we see political debates and discussion and the fact that not all the Fremen think the same way. And we also see little humanizing moments of folks just hanging out, celebrating after a victory in battle and just shooting the shit and being friends.

I do wish the movie had extended this to more parts of Fremen society. If there's one thing I could have added, it would be seeing more of daily life in Sietch Tabr. It makes sense that when we're seeing things from Jessica's POV, she is more distant from and suspicious of the Fremen, seeing them as a force to be manipulated, but I wish we had even one or two scenes of people just being people in the sietch. It felt kind of weirdly empty and not particularly lived-in as a place, and I think they could've easily countered this, with scenes from Chani, Stilgar or Paul's POV, and that would have made it hit even harder when the sietch is attacked.

If there were two things I could have added, I wanted more exploration of the people of the south. Why are they more fundamentalist than the Fremen who live in the north? (We get one line about how "nothing can survive [in the south] without faith" but I wanted more than that.) While I think the movie did a fantastic job of humanizing and differentiating the Fremen we see around Paul, when we get to the south it does backslide a little into "undifferentiated mass of fanatics." Surely the people of the south also have some diversity of political views.

I think there are some interesting threads they could have pulled on in terms of how proximity to direct colonial violence shapes people's ideology. Sietch Tabr is one of the closest Fremen communities to Arrakeen, the seat of colonial control. They have probably had to mount some kind of armed resistance for generations just to keep from being wiped out. I can see that producing skepticism of the prophecy ("well I can't sit around waiting for a messiah but I do have this rocket launcher") as well as resentment at the idea of someone swooping in and taking credit for a struggle that you've put your life on the line for, and probably a lot of people you know have died for. There seem to be some generational differences, too, where young people of Chani's generation put less stock in the prophecy, while the true believers are mostly older. I can see faith in the prophecy coming out of despair--when you've been fighting for decades with no change, maybe you draw the conclusion that only an outside power coming to your aid will make a difference. While the people of the south are still under colonial rule, maybe being generally outside the reach of direct Harkonnen violence (the Harkonnens don't even know they're there) makes the concepts of both oppression and liberation feel more abstract and more receptive to being filled in with Bene Gesserit mysticism. It seems absurd to want more from a movie that's nearly three hours long already...but I wanted more of this.

Still, I do think they managed to improve on a lot of things that frustrated me or are simply dated about the book, while keeping the political thriller/war drama/epic tragedy elements that I think are the heart of the story, and in some cases drawing them out more clearly and effectively than the book did. The best kind of book-to-film adaptation imo is one that has a strong point of view in terms of what the story is About, on a large-scale thematic level, and is not afraid to change individual elements of canon in service of telling that story the most effective way possible in a cinematic medium. While there are always things I want more of, I feel like Denis Villeneuve really, really understood the assignment in terms of the overarching themes of the the story and he delivered so fucking well.

[sweetcollywobbles]

my yandere!leon headcanons so far MDNI

hello! these are just a few headcanons i had about leon as a yandere and a person in general. there is nsfw below the cut, so MINORS AND AGELESS BIOS FUCK OFF ‼ also feel free to send me your thoughts on yandere!leon and your personal headcanons if you have any!!

xx

sfw

⟢ he's self-aware that what he's done to you is horrible. he knows you have every right to hate him, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you would love him back. he never meant to hurt or deceive you, but he's lost and given too much. leon wants someone to come home to, share a meal with, and feel needed and wanted. to receive a sliver of what he's given out. so forgive him if he's being selfish when it comes to you, but he deserves happiness too. so why not help him play house?

⟢ smells of bergamot and lavender. it’s nice and relaxing, but also musky and woodsy. he read somewhere that lavender calms the nerves, so he just absolutely lathers himself in the scent. Sometimes you swear he smells like sleep personified. unfortunately, he’s still a man, so he uses old spice lavender body wash. for cologne, he uses sauvage by dior. 

⟢ normalcy is hard. how can anyone go back into society as if the amount of  horrors you’ve seen, aren’t there? like you’re fine and everything is fine? so, leon has found a pretty good remedy, company. each friday, a sit down dinner with claire, chris, and jill. pizza, wings, and beer every sunday with chris watching whatever football game is on. sometimes they may not know the current standings of teams, but it’s fun to pretend that they do. yet friends can only fill the void so much, maybe with you, the world won’t feel so lonely. 

⟢ he has a major sweet tooth! likes his coffee with cream and sugar, won’t drink his coffee black unless he really needs it. leon will always have room for dessert lmao. has tried to bake, but he just doesn’t got it 💀something just always goes wrong. a big ice cream/frozen yogurt guy. once a month, leon will make a “everything under the kitchen sink” sundae. he’ll dump whatever pints of ice cream into a large bowl and top it off with whatever candy, syrup, and whip topping he has. leon is usually on a very strict diet, so why not splurge?

⟢ leon on his off time has taught himself how to smoke/grill meat. only knows how to make small side dishes to go with the meat that he’s made. mashed potatoes and grilled veggies are usually his two favorite go-to sides. 

⟢ i'm a firm believer that leon's receiving love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a hint of acts of service. leon works a lot, whether at the office or away on another mission, this poor, tired man is always working. so when he's home be prepared to be attached at the hip. leon also has a lot of self-doubt and guilt about what he's done to you, so by telling him how much you love and appreciate him, it feeds his growing delusion that what he's done is necessary. you need him just as much as he needs you. it also adds to the reassurance when you do small things for him to show your love and appreciation, whether it’s real or not. like cleaning and folding his laundry, making him a cup of coffee in the morning, back rubs after a long day, or even packing his lunch for the day. 

i’m giggling at the thought of leon keeping all the small notes you add to his lunch, reading them when the day gets tough. or maybe he has one or two in a go-bag when he has to take small out-of-state trips for work. 

⟢ building off the one before, he won't admit it but he's clingy. he prefers showers, but will choose a bath if it means he gets a small intimate moment with you in the morning. not in a sexual sense, more in a “let’s bask in each other’s presence”. never sits across from you at a table or booth, always next to you. same thing for the couch. there could be a thousand pillows on the bed, but he always chooses yours. leon will also never lets you sleep facing any windows/doors for security reasons. there is no such thing as personal space with this man.

⟢ since leon is a yandere his reciprocating love language is all of them. he wants you to stay with him, so he is willing to drown you in his love until it's the only thing you'll ever know. i'm going to break this down a little in sections.  

⟡ leon isn't the best when it comes to choosing the words that relay how he feels. the words feel wrong and it leaves him awkward. so any sort of verbal praise from him is rare. the most you would get from him is a thumbs up and a "sure" or a pat on the back with a nod.

(😀👍🏻 <— leon fr) but, put a piece of paper infront of this man and all of a sudden he's writing words that’ll make shakespear blush. it's words so sickly sweet it gives you a toothache. leon really hates himself for not being able to verbal relay this to you, but maybe you can feel what he wants to say?

⟡ leon is just really good at showing you how he feels than telling you. I KNOW THIS MAN WOULD GIVE THE BEST HUGS BECAUSE HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE. just imagining leon giving you a bear hug, fully enveloping you, and he can't help but hold you a little closer. maybe even holds your head a little more to him. his eyes are closed, soaking up the loving moment, he might even do a little sigh of relief. because with you, he's safe. with you, he's loved. and he just wants you to feel the love he has for you through every action. to feel what he can't say. (SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK!!) leon also always has to be touching you in some way. his favorite places for kisses; nose, cheek, neck, or hand. every morning, when he's holding you close, he'll leave small repeated kisses on your neck until you wake up giggling. not really into lip kisses, but will sometimes start a lazy make out session. just loves holding you whenever he can and making sure you feel loved at all times.

⟡ leon will also do the most for you. having a hard time sleeping? he's awake with you, lightly scratching your back in small circles or holding you close while he's running his fingers through your hair. leon just can't sleep knowing that you're having a hard time sleeping. hungry but don't want to cook? he's in the kitchen cheffing it up. putting love in every plate that he makes you, even if it isn't restaurant quality. i feel like leon will also leave you small notes around the house in places that you would find, but it's little drawings instead of words. in the slow cooker, a picture of a flower. in between the dryer sheets, a bad stick figure drawing of what you think is of you and him. at some random page of the book you're reading, a simple heart. 

⟡ leon loves spending time with you. it doesn't matter what it is, even if you're doing nothing. he wants to do nothing with you. his favorite thing to do with you is listen to you. whether you’re rambling about the latest tv drama he knows nothing about or it’s late at night and you’re reading whatever book you’ve picked up. he loves being in the kitchen when you’re cooking/baking. he’s your dedicated sous chef, so feel free to boss him around like your gordon ramsay. although, i’m so sorry for the amount of “my name is sue” jokes he’ll make. loves watching movies, putting together legos/ doing diy crafts, and playing mario kart. 

I NOTICED THIS WAS GETTING LONG AND IDK IF I EXPLAINED THIS WELL BUT IM HOPING I DID. THIS WAS SOOOO SELF INDULGENT.

⟢ when it comes to pet names, leon will add a “my” to the start of it. he’s possessive and it shows in his actions. will often say: my girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my angel, etc.

nsfw (i’m not good at smut sorry)

⟢ the praise problem does not equate to what happens in the bedroom. i'm sorry, i just simply refuse. a complete 180, he's a talker. whether it's saying something so outlandishly lewd like he wants the whole world to hear or sickly sweet nothings in your ear, this dude will NOT stfu. (and it makes me giggle and kick my feet) I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND SAY THAT THIS MAN IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL IN BED. he's always stressed. from his job, from the lack of self care, from the past that just never seems to leave him. he's on edge. he has healthy ways of releasing it, but sometimes the gym or extra training isn't enough. 

⟢ which can lead to leon being a little mean in bed. he’s absolutely degrading the life out of you while also giving you whiplash with the praise that he gives you as well. leon is a lot more aggressive and at some point you’re just a fleshlight to him. spanking, choking, biting, spitting, you name it, it is on the table. also licking whatever drool comes out of his mouth makes him lose his mind fr.

⟢ i'm not good at writing smut, but i do have an idea of what i think leon's favorite sex positions would be. the first one would be mating press. it's extremely intimate and it allows him to be close to your face and neck than the regular missonary position. again, he really gets off knowing that he's the one getting you off. another postition would be cowgirl, it gives him full view of your chest and face, except you're not really riding him. again, he just using you as a fleshlight like giving you the perception that you’re in control. another would be you on your belly and him basically putting you in a headlock. IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED BUT IF YKYK. and leon just saying the most down right atrocious things in your ear would make me go crazy. 

YOU’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT HIS HUGE ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK, YOU’RE INSANE. 

⟢ last but not least, ✨moaning✨. i like to think that he’s a grunter and whiner at the same time. idk if that makes any sense? he’s loud but not obscenely loud. but sometimes when he overstimulates himself, he’s a complete whiner like lovi (again if ykyk).

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

Alright. I've been talking about writing a meta about Charles and jealousy for a while, so here it is. It's a mess. I tried to make it more concise than it was, if you can believe that.

Be forewarned, below the cut we'll be diving into some canon compliant content like Charles' home life. Please, please, please note that now is the time to leave if you are not in a good space to read about those.

Okay. First I want to establish a few things before I get to analyzing the scenes, because I think it is important that we have empathy for Charles here. This might be a bit of a long preamble, but if you could stay with me I'd appreciate it. I promise I am going somewhere with all of this.

I think a lot of us have been told, perhaps by a parent or a friend, that jealousy is unbecoming or bad. Think about it. I know growing up that is a message I heard frequently even though I saw adults exhibit it. This was actually pretty confusing to try and work out. Anyway, now with this almost puritanical obsession with good pure and healthy relationships in media, it's gotten worse. We're told any human flaw we have is something we have to fix or we are not deserving of love. Yes, including jealousy.

Only if that's the case, Charles is fighting uphill here. Here's why:

For reference 41:30 -42:00 in episode 4 is the flashback that The Night Nurse shows Charles of his home. If we unpack this we can learn a lot of things, but there are two that I would like two draw your attention to today:

Charles' dad clearly isn't someone Charles could form a secure attachment to. He seems to only be acknowledging Charles when he's angry, and only acknowledging him in a very violent manner. He's also not really communicating with him, and expecting Charles to know what he's upset about I guess? Truly, this man is terrifying. He knows his family is afraid of him, and he knows they'll scramble to try and fix whatever his issue is.

Charles' mom doesn't intervene. Now, I do not want to hear any vile junk in my notes. She's a battered woman and has probably been in the same position that Charles has, considering Charles himself is worried about her once he is dead. He's worried enough that he checks in on her every week. It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Charles is the one who has taken it upon himself to try and "make it better" (although this is not uncommon among kids who grow up in abusive households, alarmingly).

It definitely drives home that there is a clear hierarchy in the home (everyone tries to please the most volatile person), and you're at the bottom of the pyramid. Even if it's just because you and everyone else in the household is too terrified to do anything about the most abusive person's behavior, you still feel the weight of never being put first. You will never be put first, because how could you be? "You never made it better than you died" (via The Night Nurse) holds a crushing amount of meaning here.

Alright. Now we have established that Charles had some messed up stuff happen at home. Let's take that a step further. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to a variety of attachment styles that are not secure and... you guessed it, jealousy can get thrown in the mix. (This link leads to an abstract of a very interesting research article. If you request the full test directly from the researcher they will provide it for free, but it takes time. The basic idea here is that if kids aren’t able to form secure attachments to their parents, then they will struggle to feel secure in their relationships as they grow up. Sometimes that can manifest as jealousy).

Still with me after all of that? You are god's strongest soldier, lmao. Now let's get into the good stuff.

Charles dies, but there in the attic he meets Edwin. Charles chooses Edwin over the blue light without a second thought. He comforted him when he was dying, and that tenderness is foreign for Charles. The choice is an easy one.

He enjoyed it, and he enjoys Edwin. Edwin, in turn, turns out to be is someone who unequivocally, continuously, puts Charles first. He also does something really important- Charles seeks reassurance, and Edwin gives it ("You ever think, what if Death did catch us? She'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" Charles asks. "I will make sure that never happens" Edwin answers, all while they're hanging on the side of their office). This is one of the first things we learn about them in the pilot. Charles knows he can count on Edwin. This wasn't something he had from anyone in life.

So things go fine for Charles for a long while. Edwin hasn't given him any reason to feel insecure in all that time it seems. He’s done a great job making Charles feel safe. Charles even feels secure enough that it is his idea to try and integrate Crystal into the agency, although Edwin clearly hates it. Crystal isn’t a threat to his friendship with Edwin, so it would appear Charles still feels reasonably secure in their relationship at this point.

Charles even explains or excuses a lot of Edwin's reactions to try and smooth things over. He tries to mediate between them during their first plan to rescue Becky from Esther's house the best he can. He allows Edwin to have a leg of the case with just the two of them, but he tries to frame it as protecting Crystal.

But then it's Edwin's turn to shake up the foundation that their relationship is built on.

Edwin had a lot of issues to attend to this season, and he tried to deal with most of them alone. Most of the problems Edwin had to handle put definite distance between him and Charles- how couldn't they? He was being hit on, which was a very new experience for him. He probably didn't even know how to talk about that at first, as evidenced by his description of the CK speaking closely to his ear (oh sweet summer child). He also learned about his feelings for the first time, which Monty had to finish spelling out for him.

This all, however, is where we see a shift in the dynamic. It's significant.

Edwin uses magic on a cat and has to go and meet with the Cat King. Whoops. 🙃 Charles slides easily into his role as a protector, but… Edwin stops him.

Honestly, Edwin had a good reason to do this. He pointed out that cat scratches can cause serious harm to ghosts, and they were surrounded. As endearing as this was, this wouldn’t have been an easy fight. They can just talk this out, right? He gets whisked away for a few minutes to do that (and then winds up opening a bigger can of worms).

From Charles’ perspective though, Edwin doesn’t allow him to help him, and then vanishes for a long period of time. Then he absolutely won’t tell him anything about it when he does come back. Charles knew Edwin was a little mad at him in the pilot, but they were still communicating for the most part. The secrecy is a shift, and it’s not one he’s coping well with. He tries a few different ways to reconnect.

First he tries gentle. He just asks what happened from a place of concern. This might have worked actually, only I’m not even sure Edwin knows how to fully describe what happened during their encounter. He rushes through a description, and Charles still feels like something is missing. He doesn’t like that someone else has a secret with Edwin— for thirty years they’ve been connected. This feels frightening to him, and Edwin doesn’t seem particularly worried that they’re not on the same page.

He tries to pick the conversation back up later when they’re searching for the dandelion shrine, but Edwin doesn’t give any additional information. So he slides back into his role of being a protector again and defends him against the ambient skeletons, because at least he can protect him from that easily. For a moment, things almost seem normal again, but this resurfaces in a later case.

Edwin meets with CK again in episode 4. Charles is still raw after the events of the Devlin House, and now he’s just pissed. He’s hurting, and Edwin is still keeping this weird secret. They end up bickering back and forth. The bickering tells us something interesting about Charles’ concerns.

Charles: What did he want? He didn't whisk you away again? Got that bracelet off?

Edwin: I'd be back at the office right now if the bracelet was off. He wanted to know if I counted the cats, and my guess was unsatisfactory.

Charles: Thinks he can come and go... He can't show up in the middle of cases. Did you tell him that?

Edwin: Matter of fact, I did.

Charles: Can't believe you didn't tell us. I've had enough of secrets about that wankеr.

Edwin: Why are you getting so angry?

What stands out to me here is Charles is upset about a few things: he hates that Edwin is getting taken away from him by a being they can’t control (a logical fear, considering they’re running from death together). He hates that this is happening in the middle of case time that is supposed to be for him and Edwin (and their friends, who Charles trusts). He is still really upset that Edwin has a secret with someone else (I really don’t think he’d be bothered if the secret was with him).

That’s why he’s upset. Charles isn’t feeling secure. He doesn’t feel like their relationship is on good footing right now. Whether or not he knows how to phrase that or ask for support is a different question.

Onto Monty (sorry these are a bit out of order— I put them by character for this part).

Charles wasn’t aware of Monty. This probably already bothered him a little, considering the mystery surrounding the cat king, but he tried to be a good sport. Monty wasn’t outwardly threatening. He came with gifts. He seemed friendly. Charles tried to match that… only to get snubbed. Ouch.

Charles likes to claim he’s aces with other people, but he ultimately died because his friends turned on him and killed him the second he stood up for what was important to him. I think peer relationships are a particularly sticky situation for him. I think he knew how to fit in the same way he knew how not to rock the boat in a volatile home. With Edwin it was different though— Edwin just liked him. Edwin was special.

But of course yet another boy their age doesn’t like him (probably a little upsetting, considering how he died). The only thing that’s confusing to him here is he didn’t really do anything wrong— he was polite. He followed along with all the little niceties people do, even when they don’t want to. Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered him so much in another situation, but now Edwin is wrapped up with him instead of Charles. He's picked him instead (in Charles' mind).

He can’t even shake this when Monty isn’t there.

Charles tries to get Edwin's attention... and fails. so he begins to have a conversation with himself. Perhaps he was trying to make Edwin laugh. Perhaps he was trying something over the top. Still, he fails. Ultimately, he goes the broken record route and asks him the same question a couple of times.

This moment probably really hurt- there's actually no reason for Edwin to be ignoring him, in Charles' mind anyway. They're alone together. Usually they'd be talking or bantering or at least Charles would be able to get Edwin's attention. It's just that he can't, because now Edwin is stuck on that fucking book from that fucking bloke who blew him off earlier.

This was probably a little activating for Charles. Even if he didn't completely put together why it upset him, Edwin putting someone who just treated him poorly right in front of his face first is a dim reflection of what he went through in his home. Now, I am not saying Monty is anywhere near that level of bad- he's a literal cream puff. He could not kill them when his life depended on it.

What I am saying, though, that Charles perceives a subtle threat here. He's also not sure what to do with it, because he never overcame that hurtle in life. No one else ever put him first, and he never figured out how to fix that. Edwin kind of just centered Charles automatically when they met. Now he's not doing that anymore and it’s jarring and uncomfortable for him. He’s feeling this loss of stability, on top of the fact that Edwin still won’t tell him what’s going on with the CK.

"...try not to forget that we're trying to leave" is what Charles comes up with after that exchange. Edwin makes an attempt to console him finally and offers to talk, but Charles shuts it down and tells him it's that he wants to leave town. They start on a case after that.

(Note that I did this a little out of order for organization’s sake— some of their CK arguing happened during the case they went on next).

Charles does finally catch a break here. In spite of all of this, he’s missing something very important: Edwin has feelings for him. That’s probably the most pressing issue that’s gone unspoken between them.

So Edwin dresses nicely, catches Charles attention, and finally tries to initiate a conversation. Charles seems relieved.

He does assume Edwin is just trying to come out by telling him about his time with Monty, before the teethface incident. Charles isn’t bothered, since Monty isn’t really in the picture anymore as far as he’s concerned. Things are fine, it’s just the two of them again and Edwin likes boys. Wait…

... Fuck. Forgot about the Cat King.

He resorts to threatening the CK. I know lots of people have lots of different theories on this, but consider this perspective also: Monty is no longer a threat. He’s abstract. He’s a memory. The Cat King is still very real and is a thing that can come between them, has done so, and has successfully taken Edwin from him. And as accepting as Charles was trying to be in that moment, he just can't handle that (from the perspective of this meta).

Anyway, this is all interrupted by their foray into hell. Charles does rescue Edwin, Edwin confesses, and honestly I feel like that just needs to be a different thing entirely but I did type a little bit about how I think Charles interpreted all of that here.

They return. Charles is processing Edwin's confession on the roof. This whole scene mystifies me a little because yes, he didn't seem to know exactly what to say to Edwin's confession in hell (I think he did not want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing). The more rewatches I go through the more... satisfied he looks to me? He might be processing, but also he might be a little giddy that Edwin has feelings for him specifically. I'm still trying to figure out how to read this one because the lines seemed rushed but the microexpressions say so much.

Then he starts blatantly flirting with Edwin. Honestly Charles, what the fuck?(afffectionate) Truly I’m still trying to work out if he’s just testing out how Edwin reacts or if he is working through his own feelings here, but I really want more of this in S2.

That’s about all the thoughts I think I can organize on this for now without it getting obscenely long (it already is pretty long for a half baked idea that turned into a meta). Thank you for reading 🖤

[theeoriginals]

Thoughts on how Elijah would snap under sexual tension? I know that man is feral I feel it in my soul 😩

you're so right let me get into it

18+ below the cut

elijah is known as the most level headed but we all know that's not really true. the man has so many feelings and even if he does appear calm on the outside, he is always battling something internally

including sexual tension

he's a total martyr so he'd have some sort of "you can't touch her, you'll ruin her" thing going on in his head, and the whole time you're sitting there like "does he even want me?" and it turns into a whole "will they won't they" ordeal with so much mutual pining

he wants you so bad... like so bad it consumes him

and he's abstained from this you for so long that of course there will be a breaking point. it could be him seeing you with another man, it could be a random tuesday that he sees you and the sun happens to hit you just right and all of a sudden he finally, finally, knows what your lips taste like

he knows the sounds you make when someone kisses the breath out of your lungs. he knows what you look like with his hands on you finally, and now he is never, ever, going to give it up

elijah i think is an addict in that way. he can withhold so many things and he can keep a straight, level mind, but the second he lets himself indulge in one thing, he's diving head first into the deep end and doesn't care if he never comes back up for air

so once he finally indulges himself in you, he knows that he can't ever go back to his life before

and even though it was an explosion at first, all of that tension finally boiling over, it doesn't stay like that

when he finally gets you into bed, elijah is devastatingly gentle. he treats you like you're glass, and he knows he is more than capable of breaking you. though he isn't showing hesitance anymore, he treats you with care and it kind of breaks your heart to think that he was ever depriving himself of this

this, of course, being love. let's call it what it is.

elijah falls in love so poetically and despite all of his flaws, and his ability to turn into that brutal original vampire that they tell stories about, he loves you softly.

so the first time you have sex, it's hot and passionate and it's sticky, and he never stops touching you and he never stops kissing you because he never wants to forget what it feels like. and you think he's one of the most selfless lovers ever, but he feels so, so selfish because every bit of pleasure he's inflicting upon you is for him. it's so that one day, when he thinks he won't have this anymore, he remembers what it was like

he's nothing if not a fatalist

so even though you guys go the distance, he loves you every time like it'll be his last. he's lost too much to do anything else, and he thinks you deserve the world so he'll whatever it takes to hopefully measure up to that