#someone told an ai to replicate working out and this is what it came up with | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

achaoticeternal · 4 years

Text

THIS IS ME TRYING

AVENGERS X READER (tony stark x daughter!reader, platonic peter parker x reader) masterlist // taglist

Request: @big-galaxy-chaos “Hey so I see that you also need requests as much as I do 😚 so here is mine! So it's Peter x stark!reader angst. Where Tony is afraid of becoming like his father but in reality, he is worst than him. He favors Peter more than her. Even though she is smarter than her own father, and won tons of awards and shit. Tony doesn't realize what he lost until the reader is gone. Btw the relationship between the reader and Peter is platonic! Also, everyone is oblivious to how she is feeling. Just pure angst”

Summary: Dads and daughters are supposed to have a beautiful relationship. But you could never be the song he always wanted. Word Count: 2.5K A/N: Based on the song this is me trying by Taylor Swift. Reader and Peter are both 18+; takes place after Thanos and Tony lives. Warnings: Heavy angst, cursing, self destructive behaviors, mentions death

“Mr. Stark, I’ve been working on the chemical formula of my webbing and I’m pretty sure that I’ve completely perfected it,” Peter talked while walking with your father to the lab.

“That’s great because I’ve been working on your web-shooters. Now, they can shoot up to 200 yards in length and the error rate of them getting jammed is less than one percent.”

Tony rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder as they left the room together. Neither of them acknowledges you on the couch, reading another novel involving quantum physics. But you’re used to the cold shoulder your father has given you since he first met Peter Parker. You’re used to the way he’s turned you away all your life, justifying his choice by saying he’s protecting you.

You knew that he feared to become his father. Pepper explained that to you when you were a child and you couldn’t leave your room until Tony’s lady of the night let. Or as you and Pepper called it at the time “taking out the trash”.

Maybe that was when you became more interested in the mathematics and science you found in the book and the workshop over good ole bonding time with dear old dad. If he wanted to neglect the time and opportunity to raise you, you would at least make sure to put his money and name to good use for your own personal benefit. And in the back of your mind, you knew that part of you was doing this to earn the attention and love you desired from your father.

Tony just saw it as taking an early interest in your future. So he didn’t stop you when you preferred to sit with tutors over playdates, draw out designs for engines and inventions instead of scribbling in coloring books, or even reading through scientific theories over watching Disney movies. He didn’t think it was strange, because that’s what he did at your age. Hell, by the time you were 10 you had won three first-place national science fair ribbons, third place in the national spelling bee, and began developing a prototype to turn the emissions from cars back into breathable oxygen.

Everyone noticed your brain, and how much you had achieved now at 18 years old. You held 2 Bachelor’s in Mechanical Engineering and Organic Chemistry from MIT and a Master’s in Astrophysics from Georgia Tech. And you were now planning out when you wanted to go to Law school and earn your doctorate. But you were living at the compound now, taking a gap year.

When you went away for school, you learned from others how normal life was for everyone else. You met kids who were the first in their family to go to college or were looking for opportunities outside of the small towns they came from. When you came home from your second semester at MIT, you told Tony about all this and he created the September Foundation in order to fund the projects and inventions those kids were creating. It was another punch in the gut to you, because you realized that you would never be enough for Tony.

If you were enough, he would have passed the mantle of Iron Man onto someone else after he almost lost you and Pepper to the Mandarin. If you were enough, he wouldn’t have enlisted Peter to help him in his fight against Captain America. If you were enough, he wouldn’t have gone into space for a final fight. If you were enough, Morgan wouldn’t be in the other room watching cartoons. And if Tony acknowledged you, just even a little but, maybe you wouldn’t be trying so hard to impress him and the world.

“Ms. Stark, your package has arrived. Shall I send it over to the labs?” F.R.I.D.A.Y echoed into the room.

“No, send it over to my personal workshop. In fact, send all of TS-2008 to my personal workshop.”

“Of course, miss.”

“Oh, and F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes, miss?”

“Please stop referring to me as ‘Ms. Stark’, (Y/N) is fine.”

“Alright, CASS, reboot the system diagnostics and run test C-24,” you yawned as you asked your personal AI system. The personal AI system you built for yourself, bu yourself - no help from Tony at all.

“Systems are checked out, shall I launch the test?”

“Go for it,” you groaned and took to Advil for your poundingheadachee. It was now two in the morning after another long night of coding, calibrating, testing, and perfecting the project you’ve been working on the past two years.

When you were younger, you tried to replicate the Iron Man suit, but your father quickly discovered the helmet and nearly perfected arc reactor you’d created in his lab. He trashed all of it and told you never to attempt to create the suit again. He said you were better than that, that you had more potential than pretending to be a superhero. You realized as you grew older that he didn’t care if you were trying to become a hero or not; but that you were copying his work. His precious Iron Man that he took months to perfect only took a week for his child to solve.

Dear old dad couldn’t let you have things the easy way. So instead after SHIELD fell and Tony began working to finish wiping out HYDRA, you began working on your own original model suit. Now it was almost ready to showcase to the world.

“Test C-24:successful. Shall I continue to run diagnostics to watch the processing and reaction time of TS-2008?”

“Yes, CASS. Run virtual simulations L-29, O-400, and T-38. Let me know when the trials have finished running and whether or not they were successful or not.”

“Yes, Ms. (Y/N),”

You pushed away from your desk and left your workshop. Before you knew it, you were in the kitchen pouring yourself another cup of coffee. You had been through 3 pots already tonight and no one noticed. Guess that was the nice thing about being Tony’s kid. Everyone else acknowledge your accomplishments and paid no mind to your destructive tendencies. In fact, maybe you’d celebrate tonight and snag a bottle of champagne from the extravagant wine fridge next to the dishwasher. You’d done it plenty of nights before when you wanted to drown out and numb the pain in your heart.

“(Y/N)? Why are you awake? And why are you holding a bottle of champagne?”

Ah, Peter... of course he would be spending the weekend at the compound. It’s not likely he has a perfectly good and happy home back in Queens with a guardian who loves him very much and would give the world to him. Guess that’s something May and your Father.

“Hello, Perfect Parker”

“You know I’ve never understood why you call me that, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Of course it doesn’t make sense from your end of the looking glass.Why are you up?” You tried so hard not scowl or be too rude. Peter had tattled to TOny before about you having a ‘bad attitude’ towards him.

“I believe I asked you that first.”

“That you did, but if you want an answer out of me, you’ll have to answer first.”

“I couldn’t sleep. thought I would get myself a glass of water. You?”

“I’m getting wasted, just like all my potential,” You faked a smile and started peeling the gold wrapping off of the cork of the bottle.

“Don’t say that, everyone knows how talented and brilliant you are,” He sighed while grabbing himself a glass and walking over to the fridge, “You’re a Stark”

“Tell that to Dad, because you’ll always be more of a Stark than I’ll ever be,” You huffed as you pulled a corkscrew out of a drawer near you.

“That doesn’t make any sense, (Y/N), are you sure you haven’t been drinking already? Because you sound delirious. Maybe you should spend some time outside of your bedroom, maybe even get out of the compound. When was the last time you left to go somewhere?”

“Thanks for the concern Parker, but I’ve been able to hold my own for at least fifteen years now. And I know I don’t leave here a lot because I don’t have the opportunity too. If there’s a private event, either Pepper attends with Tony or Spider-man makes an appearance with Iron Man. I’m just surprised that there aren’t rumors across the media wondering ‘Is Spider-Man the lost of the Iron Man, Tony Stark?” You waved your hand in the air to match the dramatic tone.

“Haha, you’re so funny,” He took a sip out of your water, “People know you exist”

“Yeah, maybe if they do a quick Google shirt. But I’m not offended, I know that I just live in your shadow. But I’m used to it,” Your poured the alcohol into a glass and began to sip from it, relief flooding through you.

“Okay , I get it. You’re just in another one of your dramatic moods, maybe you should just go to bed before you say or do something stupid,” he took a step towards you.

“Don’t I always?”

“Always what?”

“Say or do something stupid?”

He halted and shook his head, “That’s not what I meant, (Y/N), I-”

“No, that’s exactly what you meant, Parker,” You brushed past him and stormed into the living room, “You don’t understand how lucky you are.”

He came stomping after you, “Oh, so you’re feeling brave, huh? Well you just sound like an idiot. I’m not just some lucky kid! I’ve lost my parents, my Uncle was killed in front of my face, and I disappeared from existence! The only people who care for me are Aunt May and Tony.”

You turned to face him, face completely red, tears threatening to spill, “Well at least you have Tony, because I don’t! I’ve just run around all my life trying to be perfect, be easy for him to deal with, live up to his and everybody's expectations! But I’m not good enough, I’ve never been good enough, and I’ll never be good enough. I’m just Tony Stark’s bastard child who built herself from the ground up without the slightest bit of help from her father!”

“(Y/N)...”

“No, don’t you ‘(Y/N)’ me. You’ve gotten everything you wanted from my father since day one. I never had that. You didn’t have to work to really make your own suite, you didn’t have to endure a lifetime of pain because of his arrogant ass, YOU didn’t have to wonder where Tony was on your graduation day for MIT - his alma mater - because he attended your fucking high school graduation instead!”

“What the hell is going on?” Tony yelled from the opposite end of the room. Pepper stood behind him and you could hear other door creaking open to here the events down the hall, “Not only are you two fighting in the living room and woke up half the compound, but you woke up Morgan and now she’s crying in her room because you two are screaming at each other.”

“Well boo-fucking-hoo, poor Morgan woke up in the middle of the night,” you mumbled to yourself.

“I just came to get a glass of water,” Peter attempted to defend himself.

And from Tony and Pepper’s angle, he did look to be more innocent. He had a glass of water in his hand and was completely cool. While you stood opposite of him; a bottle of booze in one had, dark circles under your eyes, a tear stained face, and looking to be in a mad frenzy.

“(Y/N), explain yourself,” Tony spoke sternly.

You took a deep breath in and wiped away fresh tears with your sleeve, “No, I don’t have to.”

“Excuse me,” your father marched across the room, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you tonight but-”

“What’s gotten into me? Do you even listen to the bullshit that comes out of your mouth? No, of course you do, because you like listening to yourself talk more than you’ll listen to me. So talking to you is as fucking useless as talking to a deaf man!”

Peter and Tony now stood stunned at you and your sudden tantrum, but you knew it had been coming, you had always known. You knew one day you were going to explode, and it just happened to be tonight.

“I get it, I’m not precious Peter, or your beautiful Morgan. I’m just your bastard child from some broad you met on Malibu Beach. Even though I’m just a kid, I’ve always been your competition, a threat to you and your name. And even after every nearly life-ending event, I thought things would change - that you’d finally love me. But that never happened not even after Extremis infected not just Pepper’s body, but my own! And now I’m dying, I’m fucking dying, dad. I’m running out of time and trying to do everything I can. I go to school and get these diplomas and certificates to impress you. I invent and build thing to get your attention. I do it all because I still desire your validation and I’m running out of time,” you fall to your knees, everything becoming to much, “this is me trying, just like I have been all my life- but it’s still not enough.”

The room went silent. Only sobs echoed around the room as champagne poured out the bottle, staining the carpet. Neither Tony or Peter knew what to say or what to do. How could they begin to comfort the crying girl on the floor, or fix everything that ha occured over a lifetime.

Tony finally knelt down, “(Y/N), you know I never meant for any of this to happen, for you to ever feel like this. I’ve always been so scared of becoming your grandfather... I thought I was doing right by never pushing you, I guess it just never clicked.”

“Oh yeah, is that why you pushed me away and found Peter? And then when you realized you had messed up and forgot about your first daughter, you had another one in order to make things up?” You raised to head and shoulder up first, then finally rose back onto your two feet, “well congratulations, you’re worse than Howard Stark. And I hope you’re proud, Dad.”

With that, you left the living room. You couldn’t deal with in anymore that night, maybe ever again. Because when Tony came to check on you the next morning, you were missing. Only a note by your bedside remained as the only proof you had even lived in the room.

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

if you would like to request a work, click here

to join my taglist, click the link at the top of the post

404 notes · View notes

its-oliviaisla-world-blog · 5 years

Text

5 security mistakes you make every day

1) Using the same username and password

You've heard it before many times, but let's say it again once more, because many people don't seem to pay much attention: don't use the same passwords for multiple times on different accounts, and be sure to change your passwords often at least once in a 3 months.

If you have trouble remembering long difficult passwords with symbols, get password manager app that does it for you.

Using the same password for everything is like having a master key for to open every lock that also opens your vault, starts your car and gives you access to all your bank accounts - if someone takes it, they will have access to your whole world.

Changing passwords often also a protection against the already regular data leaks that happen in large and small companies. If your login credentials perform on the web, it doesn't matter how many times if you recently changed them.

“Password-cracking techniques has advance a lot with time,” said Darren Guccione, CEO of Keeper Security.

"These criminals follow their victims on social media platforms for keywords to feed malware that use AI (artificial intelligence) to check different combinations till it cracks the password."

"Nobody likes long and difficult passwords with symbols, but they are more vital now in this era than ever," he told us. "And The simple passwords with your date of birth and car number plate that worked for you few years ago are probably not sufficient today."

2) Do not protect smartphones only with Screen lock

Once someone can get past your phone's lock screen, they can post to Facebook, read your email, copy your contacts, and probably order a series of Amazon electronic products as well. Still, about 15% of users still don't protect their phone with a PIN or some biometric scan method.

There are now plenty of fingerprint technologies and facial recognition even iris reading on the new device, so it’s better to use these features on your device and a long PIN code is still a secure means of protection (as long as you are not entering it slowly in front of someone).

You should definitely avoid is the screen unlock pattern, which is easier to copy, according to recent studies by the U.S. Naval Academy and the University of Maryland, Baltimore (UMBC).

Research has proven that two-thirds of people can mimic a pattern after they have seen you only once unlocking the phone, compared to a six-digit PIN that is pretty difficult to copy only 1 in 10 contributors were able to replicate after a single sight.

"To safeguard against the people staring over your shoulder, Android unlock patterns may seem more secure to you, but our results show that 6-digit PINs provide better security from a people trying to recreate the access code sight over your shoulder," at UMBC, one of the researchers working on the eidetic memory study, told us.

3) Not using the two-factor authentication

We've already talked about common incidences of passwords and login details get leaked on the internet nowadays, for which, essentially needed both factors which makes it more secure in the way - in addition to your username and password, hackers also needs more information to give in by another device to log into your web account.

Most commonly used, one time use code generated application like google authenticator, or an SMS sent to your phone number, but whatever the method is, two-factor authentication provides double security.

It is possible these days to enable an account with two-factor protection almost everywhere: Google, Apple, Microsoft, Instagram, Dropbox, Facebook, Twitter, and Amazon.

The method for enabling two-factor authentication, in each platform, is quite simple - just find the rear sign for settings menu and head towards privacy and security settings.

If you are just surfing online or viewing an item at a virtual store, you will not need the two-factor authentication, McAfee member and chief scientist said. “However, if you are buying the item online, it is a totally different scenario, because you are now using your financial data on a website. You need the high level of security based on the amount you’re spending.”

"Hackers are not interested into a personal account secured with two-factor authentication, because it is not the simple and time consuming."

4) Sharing information on Social Media

Any data you share social media can be used to steal your identity, helpful in guessing your passwords, or answer security questions that is protecting your account - from an Instagram photos to your street name showing in a tweet and about your dog name in profile can also use for the security question.

Of course, sharing info on social media is the trend nowadays and not only in people of a certain age group, how weird and possibly dangerous once it felt to share photos on Facebook when the feature first came out. Still, there is no reason why you shouldn't think twice before sharing personal information on these sites.

This means marking your location only when needed (and when away from your home or office), keeping real names and personal details to a minimum, and familiarizing yourself with the tools you can use to restrict your audience to your posts.

"It is significant to know how you can restrict what someone can find out about you online," researcher at Kaspersky Lab, told. "Kaspersky Lab research shows that almost a third of people who use social media networks share their messages, check-ins and other personal information, not just with their friends, but with everyone who is online."

"If you wouldn't publish something about you in a newspaper page, don't publish it online."

5) Using Public Wi-Fi

It is very tempting to connect to any public Wi-Fi network to keep up to date on Snapchat, Twitter, and Facebook but you should never let your thirst for internet get in the way of your judgment of what is safe and what is not.

The problem with public WiFi is that everyone can connect to it, just like you, and that it makes it inherently less secure than your home network. If you absolutely have to use public WiFi, the safest way to stay online away from home is to buy a quality VPN package and create your own encrypted route to the internet.

If you don't want the spend on a VPN, there are still security measures you can take: instead of signing up for new ones, avoid doing anything important over public WiFi do not do banking or send emails and look for the HTTPS icon before entering any sensitive information.

"Public Wi-Fi hotspot is the convenient choice to always stay online, and is a great alternative to using our expensive phone data, However, free public WiFi is not secure."

Hackers and other organizations are always looking for security holes they can exploit: Public WiFi is the haven for them if you're not taking you online protection serious to keep your data safe.

#vpn #online security #public wifi

1 note · View note

janiedean · 7 years

Note

How do you feel about Rachael it turns out being quickly killed off via childbirth and Deckard probably left like the second she got pregnant anyway? To me it feels like fridging. Also I'm confused about how sentient Joi was supposed to be. She seemed fake as hell at first but by the end she wanted to say she loved him and now I'm unsure. It makes K seem slightly less sad if his (well I kept thinking fake high school girlfriend due to weird Scott Pilgram vibes) hologram girlfriend is a person

in order:

I honestly did like how the plot went but like I obviously don’t know the production mechanics behind it but like if deckard had to be alone at the end of it for whichever artistic decision they made (and honestly as much as I loved doing my wishful thinking fixit I’m aware that deckard and rachel having shacked up lovingly all these years and then meeting their daughter together and having the Perfect Family Moment would have been like..... the ending of minority report - BLERGH -, not blade runner) then idk how many other chances you had to go at it, unless they broke up or left each other or something, but -

honestly I hate the idea of those two breaking up also because admittedly the love story was what actually humanized deckard in the first - like let’s be real the only reason why anyone should root for deckard in the original is because he and rachel are a+ and they make you buy that they deserve some happiness (which in the director’s cut is a lot less clear-cut than the original theater cut which says a lot anyway). otherwise why the fuck you should root for a guy who okay has harrison ford’s face so yey but basically goes around killing living beings who might be robots but actually are more human/relatable than the actual arsehole humans? like come on roy/pris are a lot more relatable than any human character and personally I was rooting for roy all the damned time. if they broke up it’s just... okay, and so what was the entire first movie about? like I get what you mean but obviously if they had to sell this they had to have ford in it, not any of the other actors from the old one, and I can buy that rachel would die of childbirth since replicant childbirth would be unheard of anyway and it’s highly implied she was a completely experimental model (let’s remember she thought she was human until deckard did the test...) without the expiration date. like, I felt that plot-wise it wasn’t a nonsense decision - if they had to go with that plot then it did make sense - and I’d kind of have felt more betrayed if those two were both alive at the time of the sequel but not together and not because they had to separate.

(but even with that, happy reunion of the once together couple? ... that’s not what the atmosphere is about I fear)

I’d disagree on deckard leaving the second it happened and not caring because a) he obviously collaborated with the others when it came to hide the kid, b) he obviously regretted the shit out of it (I mean I don’t have to believe him when he says he did it out of love but why shouldn’t I? who the hell goes to live out in radioactive las vegas on his lonesome with a picture of the woman he loved on the desk and wanted to leave her? and with his face at the end when he saw ana... nah)

tldr re the rachel part: I don’t feel like it’s necessary fridging. they could have found a way to have her part of it if they hadn’t gone this pregnancy route (but I did like the whole angle - guys shoot me I have a weakness for lost parents/children/accidental adoptions stories if it wasn’t obvious, the fact that they spun the sequel like that didn’t make me unhappy at all), but if they had to do it I think it worked with the story. I mean if talking nonsense death by pregnancy padme in the original sw trilogy was miles worse

re joi: she’s obviously a serialized model, but I think the point was showing that a relationship between a replicant and an AI actually was more human than any other human relationship in the whole thing same as in the original the replicants were actually more sympathetic and human than the people hunting them. like, she seemed fake in the beginning because they probably showed off how she worked, but I think the point was that every joi can change for the owner - she’s that advanced anyway - and k’s joi did love him for real (LISTEN AT LEAST THAT), not just because she told him at the end - which was obvious, but because she insisted to be put on the adapter thing. like that was basically AI suicide because she knew that if the thing got damaged she’d die, and she accepted it for him and like, the part where she names him actually was both horribly sad and unfairly heartbreaking at the same time because like, joe is obviously the male version of joi and she gave it to him because it made him *special* so like... on one side she really cares that much for him, on the other her epitome of *special* is her own name just switched, and she’s a serialized AI made for keeping lonely people company. like I thought that entire angle was fucking genius and god that scene where she hired the replicant prostitute to be real for him was the same kind of horribly sad/unfairly heartbreaking because why would she if she didn’t love him, and at the same time... it’s still such a fucked up world that if a dude’s a replicant (without expiration date or so it seemed) he still can’t find anything realer than the AI who at the same time has a capacity for loving people waaaaay larger than most people we saw in this movie?

like tldr I think that yeah, she was a person in the same way k also was, because as someone said in a reblog from that post from before the point of K’s story is that he still was special and a person and had a human soul without needing to be one and without needing to be special the way he thought he was, and actually it made him more so even if he wasn’t *born* or anything, same as joi was. like that was why those two had the most genuine/touching relationship in the thing, and they were both technically not real people but they were realer than the real ones (if you get what I mean). like. GOD NOW I WANT TO CRY

ask 2 is coming

#blade runner 49 spoilers #blade runner 49 for ts #janie writes meta #I GUESS????#I RANTED #I LOVE THIS MOVIE OKAY #blade runner 2049 #well if anything i'm still thinking about it sooooo #ch: k (blade runner)#ch: joi (blade runner)#ch: rick deckard #ch: rachel (blade runner)#Anonymous #ask post

48 notes · View notes

xiakha · 8 years

Text

Metal Gear Primer: The Fandom Pain (6811)

Oh boy here goes.

I am not super into the MG/MGS fandom, I only lurk, but this is a down and dirty primer for a friend that introduces the series and all of the characters (...and the ships). If this is super inaccurate, I am sorry. There are probably plenty of ships that I won’t have here. If someone notifies me, I’ll try to fix it if I can. There’s just so much ._.

Beware! Spoilers abound and will be unmarked. If for some reason you care about the plot of these games and want to discover them for yourself by playing the game, this is not for you. (That said, the gaming experience is obviously quite separate from any paragraph long description I could generate and would be worth looking into, or at least watching Let’s Plays of)

Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6miaTf1gF4g

It starts with a man by the name of Kojima. Hideo Kojima always wanted to be a film director, but went into video games instead. After a shaky start in the video game industry under Konami, he was told to take over the assignment of Metal Gear from a senior associate. He turned a fairly straightforward Contra-esque game into the first stealth action game, emphasizing evasion and avoidance over direct combat. This was his first notable hit and he would continue to innovate and expand his repertoire with Snatchers and Policenauts, but at the end of the day, he always went back to Metal Gear, first willingly, but then less and less every time until MGSV. After this last sequel, Kojima split with Konami to form his own independent studio, and we await his first game as an independent producer. So it is at least somewhat important to note that the story of Metal Gear is also in many ways the story of Kojima, and each reflects his artistic journey to that point.

Metal Gear (1987) 1995. Solid Snake infiltrates a nation-state called Outer Heaven that was established in South Africa by a mysterious legendary mercenary. Snake’s unit, FOXHOUND, had previously sent one of its top agents, Gray Fox, to infiltrate Outer Heaven, but it lost contact with Gray Fox. Therefore, FOXHOUND commander Big Boss sends Snake, a solid rookie, into the fray to both investigate Outer Heaven and rescue Gray Fox in a mission called Intrude N313. With the help of Big Boss over the radio and some local resistance members, Snake penetrates successfully.

After finding and rescuing Gray Fox, Solid Snake learns of “Metal Gear,” a bipedal walking tank with nuclear capabilities. With Metal Gear, Outer Heaven hopes to become not just a recognized state but also a new superpower. Snake rescues the scientist, Dr. Madnar, who was forced to work on Metal Gear and is able to make quick work of the bipedal tank before it is completed, but not before running into traps that seemed specifically set for him. Moreover, Big Boss starts to become erratic, sending bad advice and even breaking the fourth wall to dissuade the player from continuing the game. Lo and behold, that mysterious legendary mercenary is Big Boss, who was playing both sides this entire time. Snake takes Big Boss out and gets out of Outer Heaven before it implodes.

Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (1990) 1999. Snake is brought out of retirement to infiltrate Zanzibarland in Central Asia. New FOXHOUND commander Roy Campbell and “Hell” Master Miller send Snake in to rescue a Dr. Marv, a scientist who discovered/created a species of algae that can mass produce petroleum-grade hydrocarbons and thus relieve the on-going energy crisis. Dr. Marv was kidnapped by Zanzibarland soldiers to take the world hostage through energy control and captured Soviet nuclear weapons. In the midst of infiltrating, Snake finds out Dr. Madnar was also captured and forced to make another Metal Gear, Metal Gear D. When rescued, Dr. Madnar reveals that Gray Fox, who had gone missing since Intrude N313, is piloting Metal Gear D. Dr. Madnar also reveals that Zanzibarland is led by none other than Big Boss, back from the grave.

Later in the game, Dr. Madnar has one final reveal: he’s gone somewhat vindictively loony after the scientific community rejected him and his little bipedal tank project, so he wasn’t so much captured as invited back under Big Boss’s wing. After taking care of him, Solid Snake takes out Gray Fox in Metal Gear D and takes out Big Boss by take an impromptu flamethrower to his eyepatched butt. Big Boss dies.

Metal Gear 2 is known as the game that no one played in which the story actually came together with larger ideas and themes such as nuclear proliferation and the horrors of the war engine.

Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes (1998) 2005. FOXHOUND, Solid Snake’s former unit, has agents go rogue under the name “Sons of Big Boss” and take over a nuclear weapon disposal facility on Shadow Moses Island off the coast of Alaska. They want Big Boss’s remains and a billion dollars or they use Metal Gear REX against the United States. Colonel Roy Campbell and Master Miller pull Snake out of retirement for this one last-last mission. Again. Snake is to infiltrate the target and neutralize the threat as he sees fit. He meets up with FOXHOUND agents along the way, and they have a strange habit of dying around him. Of note are Sniper Wolf, Revolver Ocelot (who does not die but has his arm sliced off) and Psycho Mantis (who is basically a fourth wall breaking meme on his own). As for allies, Snake meets up with Meryl Silverburgh, another infiltrator; Hal “Otacon” Emmerich, the new scientist forced to make Metal Gears; and a mysterious Cyborg Ninja, who slices off Revolver Ocelot’s hand.

The leader of the Sons of Big Boss, Liquid Snake, reveals to Solid Snake that they’re actually brothers, both clones of Big Boss, thus raising this sequel’s main question “To make the perfect soldier, are GENES the deciding factor?” as the two were a part of a secret cloning project in the 70s known as Les Enfants Terribles which was an effort to replicate the perfect soldier that was Big Boss. Liquid also reveals that he was impersonating (the recently deceased) Master Miller over the radio to trick Snake into doing his bidding, activating Metal Gear REX. They have a fight. The Cyborg Ninja reveals himself to be Gray Fox back again. Gray Fox sacrifices himself. Liquid loses. REX is basically destroyed. Snake is told he has been injected with a virus called FOXDIE that targets and kills FOXHOUND members, but is “programmed” to kill Snake “sometime in the future.” Snake rides off into the sunset with either Meryl or Otacon. The idea that GENES control one’s fate is thus at least half refuted as Snake decides to take his own path and not be the perfect soldier They want. Revolver Ocelot, de-armed, appears after credits to deliver the plans to Metal Gear to a shadowy figure, possibly the US President.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (2001) 2007. Solid Snake and Otacon now run a NGO called Philanthropy that wants to put a stop to all of this Metal Gear nonsense. Snake infiltrates a tanker to investigate Metal Gear RAY. At the same time, mercenaries attack the ship for RAY. They are led by Colonel Gurlukovich who brought his daughter, Olga, and Revolver Ocelot along to steal the RAY. Revolver Ocelot has two arms again, one grafted from Liquid’s body. Upon interaction with Snake, Ocelot seems to have some kind of psychic weirdness as Liquid’s personality somehow reveals itself from the arm. Ocelot under Liquid’s control steals RAY for himself, blasting a hole in the ship, abandoning Colonel Gurlukovich, Olga, and Snake to their respective dooms in a sinking tanker.

2009. Codename “Snake” from the newly reformed FOXHOUND infiltrates Big Shell, an offshore facility placed over the tanker spill. Big Shell has been taken over by a group that calls itself “Sons of Liberty” and is led by a man claiming to be Solid Snake. “Snake” quickly renames himself Raiden and meets up with Iroquois Pliskin, a man who claims to be a Navy SEAL. There’s a lot of hostages and stuff. What you need to know is that the entirety of the Big Shell mission is supposed to be reminiscent of the previous games, drawing the question “To make the perfect soldier, are MEMES the deciding factor?” playing on the theory that the circumstances and ideas around a figure make them who they are. The mission goes quite off the rails, Iroquois is revealed to be Solid Snake, trying to clear his name. The man calling himself “Solid Snake” is actually Solidus Snake, a “perfect” clone of Big Boss, who was elected President. He was also a warlord in the Liberian Civil War who conveniently(?) raised Raiden as a child soldier. There’s even a Cyborg Ninja, who is Olga, who only agreed to be the Cyborg Ninja because they’ve taken her child.

This entire scenario was devised by an AI called GW (or George Washington), who has been guiding Raiden along as the Colonel (but not Campbell) trying to make another perfect soldier by recreating scenarios. There’s a fight on a huge submersible fortress thing called Arsenal Gear that houses GW. In order to break free, Raiden uploads a virus into Arsenal Gear and causes the Colonel to freak out in fourth wall breaking ways. Raiden and Snake crash the fortress into Manhattan where Raiden fights Solidus. At this point, Raiden has more or less completely left the path of déjà vu shadowing Snake, and he’s able to katana Solidus to death. Thus, the idea that MEMES controls one’s fate is somewhat refuted as they fail to make Raiden into the perfect soldier They wanted. “They” is also finally revealed to be a shadowy organization called The Patriots, who all take names (like GW) after Founding Fathers. Ocelot seems to be working directly for The Patriots, psychic weirdness besides.

Going back to Kojima, many people argue this video game as an introspective look into what people are looking for in a video game sequel. More of the same? Would they be more upset about having the same exact things happen again, or being given something completely new? Kojima, being the sort to continue to push the envelope, did not settle for more of the same as Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake kinda ended up being.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (2004) 1964. After the end of World War II, the world was split into two... East and West. This is Kojima’s love song to Cold War spy movies, and the key word this time is SCENE. A CIA Agent, code name “Naked Snake” is sent into the jungles in the USSR to rescue a defecting Soviet scientist named Sokolov in what is called the “Virtuous Mission.” Snake infiltrates with the help of Major Zero, Para-medic, and his mentor in the FOX unit, The Boss. He retrieves Sokolov and finds out more about the Shagohod, which is a nuclear equipped tank (sounds familiar, I know). En route to exfiltration, Snake gets sucker-punched by The Boss, who promptly defects to the Soviet Union into the hands of Colonel Volgin, a madman with electrical powers, taking Sokolov and the Shagohod with her. This is a devastating blow to Snake and he almost gets blown up for his troubles as Volgin detonates a nuke. The Boss is blamed for the detonation.

A week later, Naked Snake is sent back into the jungles to kill his mentor as a part of a deal between America and the Soviet Union called Operation Snake Eater. Since The Boss has clearly gone rogue and is the reason for this international incident, killing her, destroying the Shagohod, and putting down Colonel Volgin’s uprising is the best way to make amends. Snake is assisted by his crew (Zero, et. al) over the radio, and an American defector named EVA, who is clearly supposed to be the Bond girl. Snake runs into the Cobra Unit, the Boss’s old unit of supernaturally afflicted emotion based superhuman soldiers, who are calling themselves now “Sons of The Boss.” He kills all of them. He also runs into the Ocelot Unit, which is lead by none other than a young Ocelot (minus Revolver). Ocelot is defeated several times and Snake even introduces the young man to revolvers. Next, Snake gets captured by Volgin, fails to stop Sokolov from getting brutally killed, and gets his eye shot out by Ocelot in quick order. He then fights Volgin and the Shagohod and somehow wins. In the dust, he finds out about the Philosophers, a shadowy organization made up of victors of WWII that hid a ridiculous amount of cash, known as the Philosopher’s Legacy, that Volgin was trying to take for himself. Turns out the Americans were trying to secure it, which is part of why Snake was sent out there. Snake then fights and kills The Boss in probably the most emotionally charged battle in all of MGS. He gets out, but not before being betrayed by EVA who turns out to be a Chinese spy and who steals the location of the Philosopher’s Legacy. EVA also reveals to Snake that The Boss didn’t really defect. Her mission was to pretend to defect get close to Volgin to steal the Philosopher’s Legacy from him, but after the nuclear strike, The Boss was offered as a sacrificial lamb.

Back in the States, Naked Snake is given the title “Big Boss” for surpassing the Boss, is hailed basically the perfect soldier. As Zero builds Snake’s praises as a propaganda piece for his new organization called Cipher, Snake becomes increasingly disillusioned by everything around him, eventually leaving the States completely. After end credits, Ocelot pops up again, tells the KGB that they could use Snake’s work in the jungles as blackmail against the United States, and then tells the CIA that the information that EVA stole from Snake was fake. He had the actual information and would be able to give it over to America so that the United States and the Soviet Union would each have half the Philosopher’s Legacy. Basically Ocelot is playing EVERYONE. He’s also The Boss’s son.

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (2008) It would be hard to argue that MGS4 isn’t the culmination of this entire clusterfuck of a series. I’ve tried my best to omit anything in the previous details that isn’t relevant to understanding this game or the ships discussed afterwards.

2014. Solid Snake has prematurely aged a ridiculous amount and looks kinda like Solidus Snake, only less buff. They literally call him Old Snake. This also means he looks like Big Boss if Big Boss hadn’t kicked the bucket. Snake is still working with Otacon and they’re raising Olga’s daughter, Sunny, together. Campbell basically hauls Snake out of retirement one last bloody time to end the story, basically. All guns are now ID-locked, meaning only people who are authorized to shoot them can shoot them, meaning there’s a ridiculous amount of control in War now. And this is possible because of nanomachines. Ocelot, now going by Liquid Ocelot, is raising an army of nanomachine’d super soldiers for some nefarious reason and Snake needs to take out Ocelot once and for all now he’s been built up to be this magnificent bastard mix between Liquid and Ocelot in the last three games.

At first, Liquid Ocelot’s after Big Boss’s remains again because Big Boss’s biometrics unlock something about the Patriots’ AI or whatever, giving control of everything to potentially him. Raiden shows up, this time he’s the Cyborg Ninja, and he and Meryl Silverburg do their part covering Snake’s old man butt. EVA reveals herself as the leader of a resistance movement against Liquid, Big Mama. Turns out she is the surrogate mother that gave birth to both Liquid Snake and Solid Snake under the direction of Para-medic, who ran the Les Enfants Terribles project. Ocelot goes after the lot of them to reveal he no longer wants Big Boss’s remains. He actually blows them up. Instead, he’s just going to destroy the Patriots’ AI system and replace it with his own, so he’s in control. To do this, he needs a nuke, but the only place without an ID-locked nuke is Shadow Moses Island. There’s a gratuitous battle of the abandoned Metal Gear REX piloted by Snake defeats Metal Gear RAY piloted by Ocelot. That’s okay for Ocelot, he’s got a new and improved Arsenal Gear, now called Outer Haven. Yes, like Outer Heaven. It has the nuke that Ocelot needs to destroy the Patriots’ AI. They stop him by putting a virus into Outer Haven that destroys Ocelot’s system, the Patriots’ system, and basically leaves civilization teetering on the brink as the system controlling it is destroyed. Snake fisticuffs with Ocelot in this amazing boss battle that echos all of the final boss battles throughout the series, and Ocelot finally dies.

This would be happily ever after, but Solid Snake’s FOXDIE is about to go off. He decides to go out on his own terms, but is stopped by Big Boss! Yes, Snake’s “father” Naked Snake survived the flamethrower to the face all the way back in MG2. Surprise. He stops Snake from killing himself just in time. Big Boss explains how the Patriots were formed with the idea that they’d follow the Boss’s final wish, to see a unified world. Zero took the wish to mean that he needed to control the world to unify it, thus Cipher, the Patriots, and everything that happened since on the shadowy government side. Big Boss took the wish to mean that he should unify the world’s soldiers, giving them a refuge and a consistent means of living. Thus the war. But Big Boss now sees that neither of them were right. With that said, Big Boss reveals lastly that the FOXDIE has mutated to something that won’t kill Snake but will kill him. So “Father” and “Son” have a touching moment. Big Boss finally finally finally freaking dies. And Snake is finally finally finally able to live out the rest of his shortened lifespan actually on his own terms.

You’d think that was where the story ended. And it probably should have! If Kojima had his way. No instead we got

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (2010) 1974. Naked “Don’t call him Big Boss he hates that” Snake has established a mercenary group called Militaires Sans Frontières with help from Kazuhira “Master” Miller. They had met in the jungles of Colombia and Snake owned Miller’s entire mercenary group. Snake “convinced” Miller to join him. Thus, MSF. They’re approached by a man by the name of Ramon Galvez Mena, who says that Costa Rica has been taken over by an occupying force and, having no military of its own, needed someone to help liberate it. Snake doesn’t buy it and immediately identifies Mena as KGB, but Paz, Mena’s student, has a recording of The Boss, which convinces him to go investigate it. As payment, they receive an off-shore facility that Miller dubs “Motherbase.” Anyway, there’s another nuclear tank. This time it has feet instead of drill wheel things, it’s fail-deadly, meaning it will launch if it’s armed and gets destroyed, and it’s known as “Peace Walker.” A guy named Hot Coldman wants to use it to demonstrate the ultimate deterrence. To defeat Peace Walker, Snake finds and “recruits” wheelchair bound walking technology enthusiast Huey Emmerich and Dr. Strangelove, an AI specialist who was in love with The Boss and is basically there to be a lesbian for much of the story. She starts off hating Snake because he killed The Boss and took her title, making Strangelove so obsessed with her possibly former lover that she makes the AI that drives Peace Walker a copy of The Boss’s personality. Yes it’s very much hard science. The idea is, as Peace Walker is run by an AI, it doesn’t need someone else to confirm the launch of the nukes it has on board.

Mena reveals himself as Zadornov of the KGB and attempts to steal Peace Walker. Hot Coldman activates a data uplink to NORAD to convince American officials that the Soviets had launched against them and that they had to retaliate, thus giving the AI an opportunity to respond without outside input. Instead of preparing to launch the nukes, Peace Walker, under the control of The Boss’s personality, walks into a lake, drowning itself and rendering its launch and the data uplink broken and dead, preventing all out nuclear retaliation. Snake takes this to mean that The Boss always meant to abandon her principles as a solider for soldiers and abandon him as well. He’s upset enough that he decides he will take the matter into his own hands and provide that place for soldiers himself, even if the Boss doesn’t want it. He won’t abandon the battlefield or those who serve on it like his mentor did postmortem.

While this was happening, Huey was doing his bit and had actually made a bipedal tank. Better than Peace Walker’s quadrupedal design. It’s called Metal Gear ZEKE and they armed it with the nuke retrieved from Peace Walker, but it gets taken by Paz, who is also not who she seems like Mena, but instead of the KGB, she’s a spy for Cipher, aka Major Zero. She gets tossed into the sea. With this final insult from a former friend, Snake decides to take up the Big Boss title and take action as the legendary soldier by declaring Motherbase an “Outer Heaven.”

You would think that tie in with MG1 would be the end of it. You’d be wrong.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (2015) 1975. Big Boss and Militaires Sans Frontières catches wind that Paz is still alive. In order to not screw up an UN nuclear inspection, they sink Metal Gear ZEKE again and the nuke, and they need to recover Paz who knows about their nuclear capabilities. As Snake is offbase retrieving Paz, MSF is attacked by this elite force, XOF, that no one saw coming. Motherbase starts to sink. Big Boss picks up Kazuhira Miller via helicopter as they make a retreat into the unknown. They realize Paz has a bomb in her. The on-board Medic cut her open to pull a friggin bomb from her guts. When Paz, in pain but made full conscious, realizes they pulled the bomb out of her guts, she indicates that there’s a second bomb. But before they can properly deal with it, she launches herself out of the helicopter in an attempt to save everyone else. She explodes mid-air and the helicopter crashes.

1984. Big Boss wakes up from a nine year coma. He finds out his memory’s been fucked with because there’s metal shrapnel in his head and face that may or may not cause hallucinations as well. He’s also lost his arm. Things kinda suck for Big Boss right now. He’s completely emaciated and weak as hell. Vulnerable. Even so, the word gets out that “V has come to.” A few weeks after returning to consciousness, the hospital that Big Boss is in gets attacked by XOF again. He’s saved by a man with bandages wrapped around his face who might be a hallucination and calls himself “Ishmael.” There’s an escape sequence that involves avoiding XOF soldiers, staring at Ishmael’s ass crack, and more almost hallucinations: A Man on Fire, and a tiny floating boy with immense psychic powers. Big Boss gets out with Ishmael, but the ambulance they’re in crashes. When Big Boss comes to again, Ishmael is gone. Outside, there is a man in cowboy gear on a horse. Ocelot. Revolver Ocelot. They run away together and get on a boat to a new Motherbase in the Seychelles. This is perfect because it means they’re in range of Afghanistan, where Kazuhira Miller’s been captured.

Big Boss, now calling himself Punished “Venom” Snake, goes in, rescues his XO, and gets attacked by these zombie-esque dudes called the Skulls Parasite Unit. They’re parasite-based super soldiers (not genetically enhanced or nanomachine enhanced) with whom Venom has to wrangle with several times in the game. They’re terrifying. Having rescued Miller, minus an arm and leg, the group of them swear revenge against the people who destroyed Motherbase and MSF, calling their new group Diamond Dogs. But to do that, they need men and they need cash. So Venom starts working to generate capital for Motherbase and kidnap recruits by fulton balloon. Primarily this involves sticking his nose into the Soviet-Afghan War and the Angolan Civil War. At basically every step, Ocelot says one thing and Miller does his best to contradict what Ocelot says as a bad idea. This includes fultoning home a wolf-dog puppy. Ocelot says yes and Miller says no (The doggy stays and is called D-Dog and he is a GOOD BOY). Along the way, the Man on Fire returns to fuck shit up and that boy with the psychic powers, Tretij Rebenok, pops in to make things spooky. The main antagonist is revealed to be a man by the moniker Skullface, who is the head of XOF, a branch of Cipher that Major Zero originally commissioned to clean up after FOX, and “took care of” the minor details behind the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater. Skullface, tired of being used by countless masters, having lost his face, his home, his mother tongue, his very identity, wrested control of Cipher from Zero and is now using the research Cipher has been doing for his own malicious ends. Namely, parasites that can do basically magic. The superpowered Skulls are only the tip of the iceberg. Venom also captures this parasite-powered super-sniper, Quiet. He decides not to kill Quiet after defeating her, and Quiet returns the favor by saving Venom from a pursuant fighter jet sent by Cipher. Miller wants nothing to do with Quiet, as she’s obviously an assassin sent by Cipher bent on killing Venom and destroying the Diamond Dogs. Things aren’t as bad as Miller makes them out to be, and Ocelot sees Quiet as an asset, since she has had so many opportunities to kill Venom but has not acted on a single one after being defeated and captured.

They get wind of Huey Emmerich’s whereabouts. They go to capture him too and Kazuhira Miller kinda licks his chops over getting revenge on Huey as well as Huey was the one that called the nuclear inspection on MSF “to resolve them of all guilt.” Huey’s been busy working under Skullface, making a new Metal Gear known as Sahelanthropus. Despite being barely finished, it can move on its own accord thanks to the help of the psychic boy, Tretij. Venom Snake captures Huey and gets the hell out of Dodge. At about this time, the Diamond Dogs expand their operations into Africa as well, as it’s known that XOF and Cipher have been working with the various paramilitary factions there. So Venom goes in to snoop again. He picks up Eli, who is this jerk-ass kid who leads a bunch of child soldiers who don’t have adult handlers. Eli is clearly a twelve year old Liquid Snake, and he HATES his “father” Big Boss. Anyway, all of the adults in the child soldiers’ villages have died. Upon further investigation of the reasons why, the second third of the parasite research comes to light: “vocal cord parasites” that kill everyone that speaks the language they’re attuned to. There’s a bunch of neat theory crafting that says that these parasites should be living in symbiosis with us, but they’ve been changed/nuked to be harmful instead. As a vocal chord parasite rampages through the Diamond Dogs, Venom enlists the help of Code Talker, a Navajo parasitologist who was captured and forced to work for Cipher. This brings into light the last third of the parasite research: Metallic Archaea that can convert regular uranium into weapons grade uranium. Skullface wants to spread nuclear weapons to every single faction possible and make it simple for these factions to acquire more nuclear weapons as a part of deterrence. The trick is that he can also deactivate the Metallic Archaea so that only the nuclear weapons that he wants to work will work. He also wants to spread the English strand of the vocal cord parasites to wipe out what he sees as the most virulent language of the modern world. This way, he will be able to take revenge against everyone who has in some way betrayed or slighted him. Venom stops this shit. Tretij betrays Skullface because Eli is a lot more interesting to him. This causes Sahelanthropus to run amok, nearly killing Skullface. After Sahelanthropus gets fucked up, Miller and Venom shoot Skullface, holding the gun together as the recoil is too much for Miller alone to handle. Their revenge is now complete. Or is it?

The rest of the game is spent wrapping up plot points. Huey was discovered to be selling secrets to Cipher, and then causes an outbreak of the language parasite by surreptitiously increasing X-ray exposure on his coworkers, trying to make the parasite mutate. Eli and Tretij steal Sahelanthropus, which was being refurbished by Huey, flying it off Motherbase through the power of powerful psychic energy. Tretij is thus free to become Psycho Mantis and Eli Liquid Snake. Miller decides that’s enough shit that Huey’s been allowed to get up to, and they find Dr. Strangelove’s remains in one of Huey’s projects. Turns out Dr. Strangelove had a child with Huey and that child was used in experiments, which Dr. Strangelove protested, which lead to her getting killed. That child is of course Hal “Otacon” Emmerich. Upon learning about Dr. Strangelove’s fate, Venom and the Diamond Dogs discharge Huey from service and exile him. That fucker. The Man on Fire is revealed to have been Volgin, whose electricity superpowers (possibly powered by parasites) had kept him in a coma. He was also seeking revenge through the aid of Tretij. But after Tretij left, the remaining psychic emanations of Volgin finally die off. Quiet is revealed to have been one of the assassins sent to kill Venom in the Hospital, but she’s done so much for Venom at this point, that’s practically a wash. She was originally going to get revenge on all of them by killing Venom and then releasing the English strand of the vocal cord parasite on Motherbase. She no longer wants to do that, but upon finding out that the parasite can be mutated and activated even if she doesn’t speak a single word of English, she escapes Motherbase and goes AWOL, trying to make sure she doesn’t accidentally kill everyone she’s come to know and love.

The final twist in the game is that Venom Snake isn’t Big Boss. He’s the Medic who was caught in the explosion on the helicopter. Major Zero through Cipher decided that, through the use of hypnosis and reconditioning (because this is what Ocelot is good at), they would make a decoy double for Big Boss, just in case Big Boss needs to die. Instead of being furious with this idea, Big Boss goes with it, and uses Venom to the utmost of his ability, even posing as “Ishmael” to make sure his decoy survives. Ocelot auto-hypnotizes himself to forget he had run this entire hypnosis process on Venom so that he could work under Venom without giving up the ghost, or the phantom, so to speak. When Miller finally finds out after the credits, he’s furious. He completely disavows Big Boss and decides to support “his Phantom and his sons.” Thus setting up the events of Metal Gear. At the same time, Venom learns about this... and accepts this. Kinda. It’s ambiguous if he’s that loyal to Big Boss or if he’s given up being separate from the legend. In this sense, this might be one of the only “clone/remaking of Big Boss” that is truly successful. Partially because it had to be successful. Partially because Big Boss was involved directly.

The Phantom thus dies at Solid Snake’s hands in Metal Gear, patching up a plot hole in the continuity.

Now the part that people actually care about.

Metal Gear Solid is the game that everyone in the fandom basically started out on because Metal Gear was before a lot of people’s times, and Metal Gear 2 wasn’t properly distributed in the US until about Metal Gear Solid 3′s re-release.

There are some hints of Big Boss/Solid Snake, Gray Fox/Solid Snake, and Miller/Solid Snake but these are primarily after the fact when their characters are better established. Nothing that was concurrent with the games (at least nothing I’m aware of).

Expect a lot of hatesex.

Metal Gear Solid:

Snake/Meryl and Snake/Otacon are basically the two most obvious ones and both of these ships revolve around the characters that you primarily interact with and “save” in some way in the game. The two endings either have Snake and Meryl riding off into the sunset on a snowmobile (if Meryl is saved) or Snake and Otacon riding off into the sunset on a snowmobile (if Meryl dies).

Solid Snake/Liquid Snake is somewhat present as it’s the typical protagonist/antagonist ship with a bit of incestuous spice.

Snake/Ocelot kinda exists in the way that Ocelot clearly enjoys torturing Snake and Ocelot is that kind of super flashy/flamboyant character.

Snake/Gray Fox is barely present, the fight that happens includes bits where Gray Fox basically wants Snake to hurt him more. And that gets somewhat expanded on. In extra games that I haven’t listed because they are of dubious canon, it’s revealed that Gray Fox served as a child solider under Big Boss so there’s also that connection.

Snake/Sniper Wolf exists only because there’s a whole “She needs to fall in love with you to kill you” weirdness around her femme fatale character.

Metal Gear Solid 2:

Snake/Otacon is going strong as the entire first section is basically about Otacon commenting on the outrageous things Snake gets up to.

Snake/Ocelot gets expanded upon slightly because of the ridiculousness of Ocelot’s appearance and exit.

Raiden has a girlfriend called Rosemary who is revealed to be an AI, but there’s another actual Rosemary that Raiden has become semi-estranged to but that Rosemary is also involved with the Patriots... It’s complicated.

Snake/Raiden and Iroquois/Raiden is pretty big, as this is gruff older dude with somewhat effeminate younger dude (with amazing hair). Snake also tells Raiden to “choose his own fate” so that’s also a charm point.

Solidus Snake/Raiden is a thing that probably has a lot to do with daddy kink, as Raiden was a child soldier under Solidus Snake, and hateshipping the protagonist and antagonist.

Raiden/Vamp (a mid-boss) kinda exists? It’s mostly because Raiden gets flirted with in a dangerous way and finds out that Vamp is a bisexual.

Snake/Iroquois is largely a part of a running joke in which everyone wants to know what happens to Iroquois Pliskin who clearly not Snake.

Metal Gear Solid 3:

Naked Snake/The Boss is a big one, it’s implied Snake has feelings for his mentor, which makes his final battle with her even more tragic.

Naked Snake/Ocelot is compounded by the way Solid Snake/Ocelot was a thing, but this has been expanded into a full on “Ocelot has a giant crush on this dangerous hunk of a man who trained under Ocelot’s mom.”

Naked Snake/EVA is another ship that happens largely because they have sex and a lot of suggestive comments/flirting before then.

Naked Snake/Volgin is kinda the typical protagonist/antagonist ship with the extra kick of Volgin having tortured Snake. Volgin also is strongly implied to be at least gay if not bi and extremely sadistic. He apparently has a relationship with an officer named Ivan Raidenovitch Raikov (who looks ODDLY LIKE RAIDEN), and part of what EVA was originally tasked to do was get close to Volgin to steal the Philosopher’s Legacy, etc. Volgin/Raikov and Volgin/EVA are not unheard of for that reason.

The Boss/EVA isn’t unheard of, if only because that’s basically the only given/possible woman/woman ship that’s present. The only other female presence is the voice of the Paramedic.

Metal Gear Solid 4:

Snake/Otacon is still going strong and it’s tragic! Snake’s in his twilight years! They have a daughter! Otacon looks like a rugged handsome nerd and not just a nerd! There are a lot of melancholy domestic fics here.

Snake/Ocelot has taken a REALLY WEIRD TURN now that it’s been revealed that Ocelot had a thing for Big Boss. Especially since Ocelot is pretending to be Liquid Snake at the same time. A lot of fuck ups all around. Ocelot also can kiss Snake in their ultimate battle on top Outer Heaven.

Raiden/Vamp returns because they had a rematch in this game. Except Raiden is a cyborg now.

There’s a bit where Snake/Raiden exists in a “Raiden is taking care of the geriatric Snake” sorta deal.

Johnny/Meryl is now a thing. Johnny being a gag soldier that constantly gets diarrhea as toilet humor. He still gets diarrhea in this game. They also get married. Yes, they marry Meryl off to the shittiest character.

Is there a thing for Snake/Big Boss? I really don’t know?? They have one scene where they’re Old together and they kinda have a making up after awkward years of wtf.

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker:

Now, there are “dates” that you can go on as extra fanservice missions. Really there are only two that are really notable: Big Boss/Kaz and Big Boss/Paz.

Big Boss/Kaz is amazing because it goes from Big Boss dominating Kaz to it being a mutually reciprocated relationship but Kaz still kinda feels like he’s under Big Boss’s thumb. There’s also an aspect of Kaz wanting to live up to Big Boss’s expectations.

Big Boss/Paz is kinda squick because she’s allegedly only 18 (really 25 but that’s not revealed until she reveals her true nature as a spy). It’s mostly the schoolgirl crush on the handsome older man sorta deals.

Strangelove/The Boss makes a bit of an appearance because Strangelove retroactively becomes a big part of The Boss’s backstory, even if it’s not explicitly stated that The Boss reciprocated those feelings.

Strangelove/Huey is also a thing if only because Huey obviously has a thing for Strangelove.

There are a few other minor characters due to the game being much more of an ensemble game.

Metal Gear Solid V

Shit gets complicated/interesting here.

Venom/Miller/Ocelot As “Big Boss” has an established relationship with both of them, so there’s an O3P revolving on Venom Snake. Venom/Miller and Ocelot/Venom are both popular as well with kinda opposite dynamics.

Big Boss/Ocelot and Big Boss/Miller are also major as these are both the “true versions” of the “fake” ship that is Venom/et al. That said, aftergame Big Boss/Miller becomes a straight up hateship.

Big Boss/Venom is also kinda a thing because of the way that Big Boss is controlling/behind Venom’s actions and motivations. A lot of it basically becomes emotional abuse based on like super gaslighting.

Somehow I’m pretty sure Big Boss/Ocelot/Miller is rarer than Big Boss/Venom/Ocelot/Miller. Possibly because by the Big Boss reveal, there’s no way Miller sits and takes it unless Venom is there too.

Ocelot/Miller is also somewhat of a hateship because they’re constantly at odds with each other and have the same love interest(s). With how smarmy/smug Ocelot can be and how pissed off Miller is, there’s some good content here based on Miller’s frustration/exasperation.

Venom/Quiet is kinda pushed in the game (they have a vaguely romantic scene together) and they work great together (Venom works well with all of his partners. D-Dog included) and there’s a bit of tragic hateship-ish involved.

Miller/Quiet is also a thing simply because Miller hates Quiet and Quiet is a superpowered cryptid and Miller has half of his limbs but Miller is the XO and Quiet is technically like a PoW, so there’s really weird power dynamics going on.

Liquid Snake/Psycho Mantis becomes a thing retroactively because Eli/Tretij is kind of a thing but it’s uncomfortable shipping two clearly underaged boys.

No one likes Huey, but there might be something where Huey gets his ass kicked by Skullface. And everyone else. Huey’s not a good person.

Venom/Skullface and Big Boss/Skullface is theoretically something that should exist, but is probably more rare than it should be because there are so many better ships out there already. Skullface also looks pretty nasty and not handsomely rugged.

AND THAT IS THAT FOR A PRIMER ON METAL GEAR SOLID I’M SO SORRY IT’S SO LONG BUT THERE’S SO MUCH.

#metal gear #metal gear solid #I am sorry everyone

11 notes · View notes

impvarjack60 · 7 years

Text

14 Meet the Neighbors

"Hey Olaf?, when will I be able to talk to Anna?" "Communications not yet established." "Is that you, Olaf?" "Communications not yet established." Guess not. Apparently all these orbs are the same, just programmed differently. But one message came thru loud and clear. Olaf was by her side, and that's what I wanted. I still have to wonder if there isn't someone on the other side remotely running Olaf, or is he really AI? He's got the driest sense of humor I've ever experienced, and I have to wonder if he'll get decommissioned once this trip is over. He may yet have a dark side, he does spy on us. I just can't help but think something sinister is behind all this, it's just too convenient.

"Hello Michael." "Oh, hey Olaf! Is everything OK?" "Yes, Anna should be awakening momentarily. I just wanted to make sure we could communicate." "Loud and clear here, Olaf. Who's this guy?" "It is just a relay, it has no autonomous programming." Nailed it. "Yea, he wasn't much of a conversationalist." "It's more like what you would call a cell phone." "Got it. He's definitely not a smart phone. I assume you will be staying with Anna the whole time?" "Yes Michael, if that is what you'd wish. I must admit, I'm concerned for your welfare as well." "I'll be fine Olaf, I'm only concerned about Anna." "Very well, I'll stay here for the duration. I'll take care of her." "I trust you Olaf, please do not betray that trust." "You have my word. I'll be back in a few minutes, she is starting to stir." The silence was deafening. And agonizing.

"Hey there, Silly Buns, ya there?" "Yea, I'm here. How are you?" "Good!, and back in one piece. Although I tried playing with myself with the new arm,.. and it just turned around and smacked me!" "Hahaha, that's a good one, save it for the meet and greet when we have it." "Speaking of which, is your guys meeting tomorrow?" "Yep, still on as planned." "Are you gonna' bring some stuff up?" "Yes Anna, I'll mention the horses, but I think that's something that maybe we should talk about later, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more." I hoped she got the Python reference that maybe she should can it. "Oh, right. Ow! Hey! Watch where you're pokin' that thing, buddy! Hey look I gotta' go, the natives are getting restless." "OK, Anna. Sleep well,.... and I'll talk to you soon. Goodbye, my love." "Smell ya later, Silly. I love you. End transmission."

Well, at least she's in good spirits, and still funny. A little early for masturbation jokes. But hey, the delivery wasn't too bad, she should work on it. Now I felt better. The surgery was a success, and I could finally take a deep breath. I however need to come up with a plan for tomorrow. The bad news is I have no idea what to expect. There is one thing I want to do. I want everyone there to write down who they are, where they're from and what they have to bring to the table. I may have to grow a giant pair of balls and lead them. Were in the hell is that thought coming from? I know Abzari metioned it in passing, but it was just an idea, that I dismissed. I have no leadership skills what-so-ever. That's the thing though, does anybody else here have what it takes? If I find someone more capable, I'll happily stand behind them. I do not want to start an us and them.

We are all in this together.

_________________________________________________________

The meeting was set for three hours after the rotation into light. It would take me nearly forty-five minutes to get there. I'm beginning to believe having some bicycles would be a good idea. I had the replicator make me two hundred and fifty sheets of paper and the same amount of pencils. I also got a backpack so I could carry all this.

I had to be brave. I needed to summon my inner Anna for this one. I would have to dance on the tree limb and face these people, with confidence. It's not a trait I normally had, but I'd have to now......

It looks like about one hundred people showed up, and it looked like a United Nations conference. Every nationality was represented, but I saw no animosity here. People were huddling in little groups. While the lack of participation was discouraging, the fact that no one was yelling at each other was a good sign. Abzari was here, and a familiar face was a welcome sight. "So Michael, what is with the bag?" "If I get the chance, I want everyone to write down who they are, what they have to contribute, and what they have that may be useful." "That is an excellent idea Michael, I told you you had it in you." "Well maybe, but I'm American. We're not really too trusted in the rest of the world right now." "That's the thing, Michael. We're not in the world right now."

There was a very large rectangular table with about two hundred chairs, it must've been fifty meters long. An orb asked us to take a seat. He had this very dry speech about our mission to populate the new world, and our role in it. He also talked about boundaries, rules about how we interacted with the creatures of the Habitat, which, sadly for Anna, meant no domestication, and the fact that our mates are currently sterile, which did cause some moans and groans. One thing that bothered me is that this was something of a sausage fest, women weren't well represented here. Maybe they just elected not to come, this is kinda' scary. I felt my chance was slipping away, time to grow a pair, here goes nothing......

_________________________________________________________

"Hello, my name is Michael Pulaski. I am a welder from Nebraska. I'd first like to start by saying leadership is not my calling, and as an American, I feel we've done more than enough trampling over the world. But I am a curious man, and I'd like for anyone who wishes to, to come to this stack of paper, fill in your name, what you may be able to contribute to our mission here, and what you may have that will better us as a community." Well, at least I got their attention, I continued.

"How many of you are musicians?" Several hands went up. "Do you have instruments?" Some of the same hands went up, but not everyone had instruments. "I'd strongly recommend that you consult with your assistants to replicate some. One of the things I've noticed is a high level of boredom, is this true for you as well?" Lot's of nods and agreement. "OK, musicians, get together and try to put together a show. What about actors, directors, playwrights, etc?" looks like there were a couple. "Great, I for one wouldn't mind seeing a play, and I personally have an entire Broadway musical in my head that we could do at some time." "OK, what about athletes of any kind?" Quite a few of those. "Awesome, see if you can't coordinate some kind of competition, and I would love some weight training and body building."

"OK, does everyone here have a mate?" All hands went up. Good, no one got left out. "And is anyone having any problems with them?" Almost all hands went up, which resulted in a cacophony of laughter. "I have as well. Right now my mate is on the other side of the shield wall getting a new arm. She's like buying a new car and wrecking it the first week." More laughter, hopefully I can get these people together somehow, time for the big speech. I walked slowly around the table, I wanted to make as much eye contact as possible, and when appropriate, I'd give the table a bang with my fists.

"Look, the simple fact is we're all in this together. We...Must...Make...This...Work." "We have left Earth behind, we prayed for deliverance and this was the answer. It did not matter who you prayed to, it was answered, and we were chosen. WE WERE!!, there is a reason why we're here, and this is our nation now." "Your past is just that, the past. No matter how you felt about any other race, or nationality, or religion, all that doesn't matter anymore. Here, on this Sacred Barge, we will travel the Sacred Path to OUR new world, in peace, and harmony. We will build a new world surrounded by beauty, art, science, and raising up the human race to a higher plane of existence, and not by how much wealth can be accrued, but how much knowledge can be accrued. We will prove to our benefactors on the other side of that wall we are worthy of their trust, and that we are equals. Look out for your neighbors, make friends, make alliances, make music, make art, and do it for one goal, to advance us as a civilization. The old world lays dying from their own arrogance and greed, for power, and wealth. Crave not these things, for they are the destroyer of worlds."

"We've been given this second chance, let's not ruin it. We have a chance at enlightenment, let's get it right this time, TOGETHER!!"

My speech was met with thunderous applause, when I practiced it last night, it seemed kinda' lame. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I would hate to have ruined this. So a few people came up to me afterwards and felt I had what they needed for a leader. But I told them there should be an election process, that there may be someone more qualified, and we shouldn't jump on the first person with a fascist-like speech. We arranged to do this again, but with our mates the next time. This should be really interesting. I got maybe sixty sheets filled out, it's a start. Now I need a linguistics specialist to decipher all the languages, I don't know if I trust Olaf with this or not. Looks like our universal language doesn't include writing.....

_________________________________________________________

"Oh good Michael, I see you're awake, is this a good time?" I had a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. "I'd like to say no, Olaf." "Anna is awake." "Please, put her on." As I spit into the sink. "Good morning Michael, how are you?, did everything go well at the meeting?" "It's better now that I've heard your voice. And my speech was well received." "You made a speech?! To how many people?" "It looks like there were one hundred." "And how much did they like it?" "Um,...standing ovation, I guess?" I felt a little embarrassed gloating like that. "That's fantastic, Michael! What does this mean?" "It means that I've probably just dug myself a deep hole, and buried myself in it." "Oh, don't be silly, Silly! You may be able to lead these people." "Yea, with a princess by my side." "That's a role I'll gladly take. Hey, they wanna' knock me out again, love ya! and congrats!" "OK, my love, I'll talk to ya later." "Later Gator! End transmission."

Princess, the word lingered in my brain. What was our fascination with princesses? It was much more of a girl thing, but it seemed oh so misogynistic. I never called her that, but now it seemed kinda' natural, and I have no idea why. But tomorrow she is coming home, and I want to give her a welcome fit for a princess.

0 notes