#something something American hubris

[thatswhatheavenfeelslike]

Crazy how Toronto isn’t getting much of the wildfire smoke but New York is getting absolutely pummelled…

[nitewrighter]

Sombra text: For the record, I refuse to get into any small submarines. Mauga text: Wouldn't it be a big submarine for you? Reaper text: Wouldn't it be a regular submarine for you? Widow text: Wouldn't it be a normal sized submarine for you? Sombra text: You all can got to hell!

Hey I think this is as topical as the next guy but I'm not South Park. Like, yeah I think it's absolutely wild to be ridiculously rich and die from catastrophic implosion at the bottom of the ocean because you're bolted into in a metal tube (THAT HASN'T BEEN ASSESSED BY ANY GOVERNING PARTIES TO MEET ANY INTERNATIONAL STANDARDS OF SEAWORTHINESS) that's controlled by a third-party knockoff xbox controller, but you're not going to see me make Overwatch characters talk about it.

[table-top-horror]

I love bad adaptations, I love horrible casting choices, I love misunderstanding the material before adapting it, I love misreading a characters motivation before setting it out, I love attempts to create new material and failing to integrate it, I love dogshit remakes

[gontroublevt]

God has come and he is a very angry(?) Metal Jellyfish.

[ceasarslegion]

Now that I'm on a 5 hour train ride before my airport run I can outline a few thoughts about America I've had over the last week:

-everything is so big. Like canada far beats you guys in regards to raw land mass but there's like 12 of us up there. You guys really minmaxed how much you can fit into one place. Meanwhile you leave an urban center in canada and it's just nothing for the next half hour upon which you hit a gas station warning that the next ones not gonna be for another 2 hours so fill up now

-Ive seen more Amish people in my like 4 days in upstate NY than I have in my entire life before now

-ive also seen more confederate, trump, and general American flags in the last 4 days upstate than in my entire life before now. NYC was not that bad. Are you guys okay down here

-why do you have war vets advertised on street lamps

-why do you put your flag on EVERYTHING... im pretty sure there's a part of your constitution that says you're not supposed to do that lmao??

-i bought a big gulp with my last few USD bills yesterday. It gave me a nuclear level tummy ache but the hubris of having that much pop for 2 dollars made it worth it. I get the appeal of Big Drink now

-I was asked how I want my burger cooked when I went for a good ol' american cheeseburger. You guys are just raw dogging rare ground beef here like e coli can't touch you. There was a burger that had mozzarella sticks on it on the menu. Your frankensteinian approach to food captivates me

-i hate how you have 1 dollar bills here. That's wrong to me. 5 is the proper place for bills to start. To me. But the CAD to USD exchange rate is HEAVILY weighted in your favour so it's whatever I guess. Your grocery prices make me want to scream, cry, and throw up in that order. Canada's not much better but at least the prices have the same number on them in a comparatively worthless currency

-there is something so capitalist about this country. Every second of my day I am being blasted with ads from every flat surface. At least we don't have ad screens in our taxis???

-I bought an Arizona tea flavour we don't have in canada and upon glancing at the nutrition label it had 84% of my daily sugar intake in it. If that's what your convenience store iced tea is like I think whatever sweet tea is would just kill me

-I think the guns in Walmart are perhaps contributing to the way the tankies on this webbed site think guns are cool and not dangerous at all. My god I was uneasy seeing that shit

-i got a big box of american sugar cereal that we dont have in canada and they can pry it from my cold dead hands at the airport I'm qualified to work our TSA checkpoint and I know damn well it's allowed to go in the case of personal consumption this shit fucks so goddamn hard

[sophie-frm-mars]

Into the projected corn field

I dunno I just feel like before I can even form an opinion on the Fallout TV series I have to do something to try and get through the haze of disgust, emptiness, anger, nausea and desperation that I feel sitting at home alone watching a TV show based on the insipid corporatised franchise that was based on the highly original and artful world in which one of the (and then two of the, and then New Vegas of the) best games ever made were set in. I'm not feeling any of those feelings at the show, I just have to feel all those feelings before I can feel any feelings about the show, because everything being made is Intellectual Property instead of art, and we've spent all this time discussing AI art when everything being made is already being made by the algorithmic logics of capital. All the same things we find troubling in the idea of inhuman heuristics deciding what art is produced and how and by who are already true - we aren't watching a show about the hubris of our society and nuclear annihilation because someone (anyone) thought there would be something poignant to say in it, something to explore in our moment, we're watching it because Amazon executives knew that if they made it we'd watch and go "look, ghouls! like in the thing! and mutants! like the thing from the thing!"

The original Fallout games were made in and around and after the neoliberal end of history, the ultimate period of peace and prosperity in western capitalist society and imagined an absurd world based on the penultimate period of american imperialist peace and prosperity playing out into an almost inevitable post-apocalyptic nightmare world where the same rubrick of control and domination that led to the destruction of society in the first place constantly tries to reassert itself over a hobbesian wasteland full of strange, silly, kind, funny, odd people whose human tendency towards care and altruism makes an endless mockery of the kill-or-be-killed nature of the wasteland that mocks it right back.

In the first episode the vault dwellers gather in a simulated corn field. It's an actual corn field, they're growing actual corn in it, but the horizon and sky are projected onto the vault walls to create the only wider world the subterranean human beings will ever see, and I just... hope that someone gets what I hope anyone ever gets out of art no matter how it's produced. I hope it makes you realise that love and the revolution are the only meanings in being alive, and I hope you get that from Rothko and I hope you get that from EpicLlama's Midjourney feature film sponsored by Dogecoin, and I hope you get that from Akira and I hope you get that from Spy Kids 3D. I just think about being in a moment right between the pandemic and the collapse of the conglomerate capitalist empire watching people on a screen seeing a better world projected on a screen and I feel gut wrenchingly alienated from other human beings, but I acknowledge that could just be me.

How am I supposed to feel about Walton Goggins' performance as a half rotted rubber cowboy man? I don't fucking know man. My opinion is this show is making me derealise.

[carbonmonoxide-detector]

I'm no astronomer so take this with a grain of salt but as an American I find it daunting that there are so many conspiracy theories about the upcoming solar eclipse on April 8th. Considering I'm sure an eclipse like this happens....ummm...every coupleof goddamn years somewhere on the planet?

"It travels through multiple cities named Salem and Nineveh!"

"Sign of the times! Jesus is coming back in April!"

"Government conspiracy! Something is Going To Happen™ to the world on April 8th!"

"The intersection is where Jesus will return!"

Like if we need hard evidence that America is the literal empire look no further than the sheer fucking hubris of its conspiracies. We're the only people and culture on the planet, apparently.

[bethanydelleman]

I'm listening to Emma as my falling-asleep audiobook right now and I'm thinking a lot about Harriet. The movie adaptations very often have her remaining friends with Emma after the end, but the book says their relationship sank into mere acquaintances after that. Is that a personality thing, do you think, or is it a class thing? And why the difference in the adaptations? I have my own thoughts but I'd like to hear yours.

It is definitely a class thing.

I think one of the reasons Emma can be unpalatable to modern audiences is because it ends with a restoration of a social order that we find repulsive today. How is it fair that Jane Fairfax, born as lower gentry, gets to marry into Enscombe but Harriet Smith, the natural daughter of a tradesman, 'deserves' only Robert Martin and is basically ejected from membership in Highbury's gentry class? And that's a good thing? The adaptations maintain the Emma and Harriet friendship because the way the book ends really appalls a lot of modern readers.

(Also, never really talking about the age difference between Emma and Knightley was a great choice in Emma 2020 because that is not people's favourite either.)

I think the most charitable way to look at it is that Harriet always wanted Robert Martin. She loved staying there over the summer, the family was extremely kind and loving towards her, and her status as a natural child would be largely ignored. Emma's interference gave her ideas above her station... ug, veering into territory I don't love again... but then again, could Harriet have ever succeeded at marrying into the gentry? Probably not on Emma's sponsorship.

There are only two characters that a member of the gentry tries to move from "middle class" (I know it's not really the middle class) to gentry, George Wickham and Harriet Smith. Both attempts are disasters. Captain Wentworth, Fanny/William Price, and Jane Fairfax are all born into the lower gentry and they climb higher, which seems to be fine. There are a bunch of characters who go from extremely wealthy trade to gentry, the Jennings (Mrs. Jennings, Lady Middleton, and Charlotte Palmer) and the Bingleys. They seem to be fine, Charles Bingley at least is portrayed positively.

I don't know what the message is there. The Gardiners are presented as gentleman-like but have no apparent intentions of jumping class. Does that make them good? As someone raised in Canada whose worldview is rooted in The American Dream Lite, it's hard for me to appreciate the upholding of a classist system. Jane Austen herself was clinging to gentry status by her fingernails, so why does she write a novel that glorifies almost everyone staying exactly where birth placed them? Jane Fairfax can improve herself and be worthy of a rich marriage but not Harriet? I guess Harriet never improves herself much though, but she hasn't had the same opportunities as Jane F...

But then the very next novel, Persuasion, seems very anti-classist!

Something about hubris...

I actually feel sorry for Emma at the end of the book. She got a husband, sure, but she loses a friend. She has Mrs. Weston still, but she'll be busy with her baby, she loses Harriet, Jane Fairfax is gone (again), and she's still stuck in Highbury, which has become worse because Mrs. Elton is there now. She just remains as much trapped and limited as she was before...

Anyway, that is my long and rambling answer. I'm not very happy with the ending of Emma. If someone who does like it wants to defend, you are more than welcome.

(I do think there might be something to like, this is how the class system could work well if everyone actually did their jobs. Knightley is the perfect, model landlord. Cares for the poor, lives at his estate, involved in running it etc. Emma does her duty to the poor, everyone seems to do well under their United management)

[conhivemindcent]

So I’ve been consuming a lot of the posts about Oceangate and now that it’s safe to assume the passengers are dead, I want to give my own take. Feel free to disagree.

Firstly, I never heard this on the news. I did hear about the boat where 78 immigrants were killed and hundreds missing off the coast of Greece. This may be a cultural and proxemics thing though, as I’m British (we have shit immigrant laws) and the Oceangate fiasco took place closer to America and Canada. So those claiming this is probably a case of Tumblr once again being American-centric.

Secondly, i don’t know how to feel about the deaths. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. They knew what they were getting into with this, and that their deaths were very likely. I do think this was a failing of their own hubris and also a huge waste of money. Insert something about capitalism and the woes of such here. But if the ship didn’t implode, it would’ve been a living hell. Starving, cramped, excrement everywhere, dark. It sounds like something out of a nightmare rather than something real. I don’t know if I feel sorry, as it’s most likely I won’t experience this ever in my life, but I definitely feel bad about it.

Third, I hope Oceangate gets sued. This was unsafe af, and where most of my anger is directed. These people tried turning a tragedy (itself also being rooted in capitalism) into a tourism spot for only the elite. Not to mention the unsafe conditions and the knock-off Xbox controller used to pilot the ship. This definitely seems like a scam and I hope they suffer repercussions for their actions, especially now it’s likely the CEO is dead.

Forth, I hope the ship imploded. That seems like the most humane way for this all to end. Battle about humaneness all you want and whether the rich deserve it, whether a 19-year-old nobody knew about prior to this deserves this, but I hope they all died quickly rather than long, drawn out, and suffering from lack of oxygen.

Fifth, some of the memes are funny. Mostly the ones about the Xbox controller. I don’t really like memes making fun of people dying. But then again I’ve never liked to make fun of death, whether deserved or not. (Exception to the kind of things in r/peoplefuckingdying because those are over-exaggerations of the most mundane stuff.)

Sixth, this should be taken as a cautionary tale. Don’t underprepare and do your research on shady seeming stuff. Don’t think you’re above death because you’ve got a spare load of money.

Seventh, leave the damn titanic alone. Everyone who was on it is now dead. The ship itself is crumbling. Leave it to rot, and let it echo through history books and that one James Cameron movie. Let children learn about it and use it to learn how to write newspaper articles and as a fun research project, which fun fact: is how I learnt about it. As an 8-9 year old. The novelty’s worn off in the past few years. Let’s just leave it as something cool for kids to learn and not add onto it with stupid stuff like Titan.

[yesterdays-xkcd]

Chuck Jones is a vengeful god.

Engineering Hubris [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[A trans-panel color background of the Southwest American desert.] Maybe engineering is the pursuit of an unattainable perfection. Maybe it's impossible to create something bug-free.

Maybe I'm a fool. Maybe the tyranny of Murphy is the penalty for hubris.

But I just can't shake the feeling

With all those supplies [Cueball standing on boxes labeled "ACME."] I could have caught that roadrunner.

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

SET EIGHT - ROUND TWO - MATCH TWO

"Susanna and the Elders, Restored - X-Ray" (1998 - Kathleen Gilje) / "Moby Dick" (? - Gérard DuBois)

SUSANNA AND THE ELDERS, RESTORED - X-RAY: The piece by artemisia gentileschi I would like to humbly submit is actually a little unique, as it is both by artemesia and by another artist. You see the original painting is called "Susanna and the Elders", and it represents the story of Susanna being spied on, naked, by town elders and then they try to blackmail her into having sex with them. When she refuses, they try and put her on trial for sexual immorality (claiming she slept with them). Her name is eventually cleared. It was typical, in the era that artemisia gentileschi was painting, to depict the story of Susanna as that of a sexy lady bathing sexily and coquettishly, aware and flirty with the elders spying on her. artemisia was having fucking none of it. Her final painting is a departure from this style of depiction showing Susanna visibly uncomfortable with the lecherous elders. BUT THIS ISN'T THE VERSION I'M SUBMITTING. You see, artemisia gentileschi had (supposedly) made an earlier version of this painting, and been asked to paint it over as it was "too disturbing". Although that version is lost to the ages, Kathleen Gilje created a version of that image, underpainted using lead and visible by xray, inspired by artemisia's own life. Without going into disrespectful detail, artemisia gentileschi was sexually assaulted in her life. And she poured some of her rage about it into this painting, before (apocraphally) being forced to sanitize it (into something still radically different than the mainstream depiction). The rage and horror that bleeds through the x-ray version of Susanna and the Elders? Makes me feel like my bones are being liquefied. I feel holy righteous rage and solidarity and love for a woman nearly 4 centuries removed. I feel things too embarrassingly personal to put in a poll.Artemisia Gentileschi based the bodies of both Judith in the first painting and Susanna in the second on her own. Perhaps because of this, perhaps simply because of her immense skill as an artist, the women (and situations) in these paintings feel real. I feel like I could reach out and touch. Gilje's depiction of anguish and the connection made to artemisia's life is palpable. (@sepulchral-pulchritude)

MOBY DICK: This is Gerard Dubois' cover illustration for a recent French language edition of the classic novel. It's a stunning work, visually and thematically. Captain Ahab: you know the type. Rashly self-confident, indifferent to any consideration beyond his own schemes, not a scrap of wisdom. His response to losing a limb is to double down. Captain Ahab as tech bro is befitting, Nantucket whalers being the high tech of their day. How easy it is to picture Ahab swapping grievances with Elon or Zuck over cocktails on a superyacht. The Whale seems only curious about this wierd little man, but what does Ahab spy with his little Eye? Could it be his own Shadow: insecurity, inadequacy, and insignificance? And amusement: who are you laughing at? Those are insults worth sacrificing all hands to erase. [Was the crew of the Pequod all-in? Or did they just need the work?] Hubris is as old as humanity itself. (@welcome-to-the-night-gallery)

("Susanna and the Elders, Restored" is a painting by American artist and art restorer Kathleen Gilje based on "Susanna and the Elders" by Artemisia Gentileschi. Gilje painted a more violent interpretation of the scene in lead paint, then painted a copy of the original Susanna and the Elders over top. This x-ray of the painting was then done to reveal the dual picture. It is not an x-ray of the original painting by Gentileschi.

"Moby Dick" is an illustration by French artist Gérard DuBois.)

[warrenkoles]

Table Manners S14 Ep 34: Rita Ora Transcript

Hi all, I have decided to transcribe the entire Rita Ora episode of Table Manners podcast. Well, my friend was sad because there wasn't a transcript and so she would have too difficult a time trying to follow/process everything without one, and I thought "hey, I type fast, I could do that!" (This was hubris, of course, especially considering that I am an American and not at all fluent in Londonese, clearly.)

I figured there would also be some interest in it from the Taika fans who are not the biggest Rita fans. The hosts do ask about him and thus she talks about him quite a bit!

Since I had to Google things for spelling a lot anyways I ended up linking to the brands and stuff mentioned because why not. I am just extra like that.

If there is anything incorrect please let me know so I can correct it. :)

Quick edit for cws: heavy discussion about food, and a few references to fasting that could be triggering for those with eating disorders.

Plucky music is in the background

Jessie: Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I’m here in mum’s kitchen, it’s, uh, pretty miserable and cold morning

Lennie: It’s not as bad as it has been darling

Jessie: No

Lennie: It’s not raining which is a miracle

Jessie: That’s true

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Um, we’re recording this and it’s half 10 and I have been in Dorset and I’ve had

Lennie: Your face is looking very rested, you don’t look tired

Jessie: Oh I thought you were going to say something else

Lennie: No, rested

Jessie: I had a good facial yesterday

Lennie: Okay, but you had good sleep probably

Jessie: Um, dunno about that

Lennie: I think

Jessie: How do you tell your in-laws – they don’t listen to this so it’s fine – how do you tell your darling in-laws who you love that you don’t want to sleep on a futon anymore? It is so painful

Lennie: Buy a mattress

Jessie: Do you think I could just buy a mattress? Because me and Sam get into that bed and we’re like

Lennie: I’ve got a spare mattress upstairs you can take

Jessie: It’s like torture. Okay fine. Um but I’ve eaten well in Dorset, um, shout out to the Anchor in Sea Town in Bridgeport. It was such a good lunch. I’ve been going there for years and then I saw that Thomasin Mars(?) had gone like maybe a couple of summers ago and the food is just unbelievable.

Jessie: That’s the place to be apparently

Lennie: Well that must be the reason that accommodation in Bridport is so expensive. Everyone’s going there for the food and putting the cost up. Jessie – 400 quid for two nights in July

Lennie: Crikey (inaudible)

Jessie: It’s the Notting Hill on sea, that’s what someone told me

Lennie: Okay

Jessie: Speaking of Notting Hill, our next guest

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Is from Ladbroke Grove

Lennie: Oh yeah

Jessie: She is a super star

Lennie: Yup

Jessie: She does everything

Lennie: Yup

Jessie: From fashion design to drinks to hair products to, most importantly, singing, and, um, we’ve got her on here

Lennie: She got her wellies ready

Jessie: I don’t know how long we’ve got with her because this girl works like a horse

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Is that what you say?

Lennie: A dog. Works like a dog, darling

Jessie: (laughs) Works like a dog

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Um, and, it’s Rita Ora. She’s coming on the podcast. She’s wanted to come on this for ages. I remember when we spoke to each other years ago and she was like “Can I come on? Can I bring my mum?” And I was like “yeah, sure”. I don’t think she’s bringing her gorgeous mum

Lennie: Is she- is she- is she bringing her gorgeous husband?

Jessie: Oh stop Mum, you need to hold it down when you meet her

Lennie: Okay, okay

Jessie: We’re recording this 2, 3 days before we’re both about to perform at Mighty Hoopla in Brockwell Park on Sunday, so, um

Lennie: Are you welly ready?

Jessie: *sighs* Lennie…I’m not wearing wellies

Lennie: I bloody well am, I’ve ordered mine from Asda-

Jessie: Oh what, cause you’re going to be going on-

Lennie: -leopard print-

Jessie: Shut up!

Lennie: Little short leopard print wellies

Jessie: Oh my god. Little short ones

Lennie: Yeah. Galoshes

Jessie: What are you wearing on top, Lennie?

Lennie: Black all in one with a white jacket

Jessie: Oo, will you get on stage with me?

Lennie: Maybe

Jessie: What’s on the menu?

Lennie: Well, it’s very early in the morning, so, we can fit in with her, and so it’s picky bits as you would call them

Jessie: Oh you know what? Shout out to Jane McDonald who has a Radio 2 show now-

Lennie: -Called picky bits

Jessie: -Called picky tea. (Lennie: Picky tea) She asks everybody what they like for their picky tea. It’s brilliant

Lennie: Okay, so I’ve got picky bits breakfast. I’ve done a chopped salad with those lovely little baby cucumbers (Jessie: Gorgeous) that taste so nice. I’ve got some feta (Jessie: Mhm), some prosciutto, (Jessie: Yeah) and I’ve done some avocado, cut up so I really cut things up today. That’s it but I’ve put them on nice plates and you’re doing jammy eggs.

Jessie: Yes. I am. But I have just done them and they have not peeled how I like them to peel. And I don’t know what it is-

Lennie: I think impatience.

Jessie: no, I- I think there’s a science because I don’t know whether they- they came straight from the fridge.

Lennie: Okay

Jessie: I did the popping of the membrane and all that shit so if you want to write to hello@tablemannerspodcast.com you can let me know.

Lennie: When you were away, I made dippy eggs for your children but because I got distracted they weren’t very dippy and your son-

Jessie: -lost his shit

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: (sighs) Joffrey….

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Rita Ora coming up on table manners….

Plucky music ends

Jessie: Rita Ora is already gassing and yacking with me-

Rita: HI!

Jessie: It’s so nice to see you!

Rita: Wait, do we need to wait for your mum or….

Jessie: Mum’s just gonna come (Lennie in the background saying something, indistinct) – yeah you’re right, you’re polite, you’re a good-

Lennie, from a distance: Jessie would just get on with it

Rita: Jessie’s just like “Oh it’s alright, she can join in halfway through”

Jessie: I’m aware – I’m aware that you have like a 14 hour day today-

Rita: Oh you’re so cute

Jessie: -which is kind of usual for you

Rita: I’m alright though to be honest, ‘cause I’m sort of used to it

Jessie: Did you sleep yesterday?

Rita: I couldn’t sleep.

Jessie: Oh babes!

Rita: You know when you’ve got so much going on you can’t actually like rest your head?

Jessie: And is it, is it because you’ve got the song coming out tomorrow?

Rita: Yeah! Yeah

Jessie: Which is very good (Rita: Aww) and we shall talk about it in a minute when Mum has joined us.

Rita: I think Mum’s mak-starting a, um, uh-

Lennie: Let me just get a coffee.

Rita: -a brasserie going on over there.

Jessie: We’re doing – yeah, she’s-

Rita: Want me to help you?

Lennie: No, nothing darling

Rita: Are you sure?

Lennie: Yeah

Rita: Because I’m pretty good at helping

Lennie: I’m sure you are!

Rita: Well I’d like to think I am (laughs)

Jessie: Is your bedroom tidy, Rita, at your mum’s house? If I can ask that.

Rita: It’s like an organized mess.

Jessie: Okay, got it.

Rita: You know, it’s like she doesn’t really go into our o- Oh you’ve got a cat!

Jessie: This is Prince

Rita: Prince! Hiiii! We have a Bengal.

Jessie: You’re mad.

Rita: I know, they’re mad. But he’s like 79. I don’t think he’s ever going to die. Poor, poor Bruno - his name’s Bruno.

Jessie: Bruno’s such a good name.

Rita: Hi Prince!

Jessie: Are you an animal person, Rita Ora?

Rita: Yeah, I love animals. It’s ‘cause I can’t have any but they calm me thee fuck down. They’re so calming. Don’t you think?

Jessie: Couldn’t you have like a companion dog that you wal- go on the aeroplanes with?

Rita: No…it’s too much work

Lennie: Oh yeah, what do they call them?

Jessie: Companion…an emotional support do-

Rita: Do you let your cat on the table?

Lennie: Don’t let him on the table, don’t let him on the chairs, she doesn’t talk to him anywhere.

Rita: You don’t talk to your cat?

Lennie: She’s talked to him, but he’s got too needy.

Rita: I mean, I don’t know, I’ve never grown up with animals really. So when I gave my cat to my parents because, obviously I’ve done a lot of sort of adopting and not being able to look after them because it’s just, our schedule as musicians, you know, you’re never in one place really, so…I give my pets away.

Lennie: Where do you live actually, Rita?

Rita: Half in New Zealand now, which is so-

Lennie: With the gorgeous Taika

Jessie: Yeahhhh

Rita: Aww Taika I wanted him to do this with me

Jessie: She knows-

Lennie: I am a huge fan

Rita: Are you??

Lennie: I saw him at-

Jessie: Yeah but she’s- it’s a little Kathy Bates, Misery, so just watch it

Lennie: Yeah, a little Kathy bates, sure

Rita: Well that’s nice!

Lennie: He did letters live

Rita: Oh yeah, he did do that

Lennie: And he was fantastic and made me laugh so much.

Jessie: You-

Lennie: I was very jealous when you married him.

Jessie or Rita: (laughs)

Lennie: I just want to put that out there because I think he’s so-

Jessie: (laughing) Because she thought she had a chance

Lennie: Interesting! No, I didn’t-

Jessie: Sorry!

Lennie: I didn’t think I had a chance, but I was jealous that you got him because-

Rita: Thank you

Lennie: He’s so wonderful

Jessie: Oh we’re really happy for her and thrilled

Lennie: I was happy, well I wasn’t that happy.

Rita: Do you know, you’re not the only person that’s said that?

Lennie: He’s fabulous.

Rita: Do you know what’s funny? A lot of people have called me and been like “I’m very jealous of you and your husband”

Lennie: Yeah!

Rita: Well, I think it’s just because, like, you see, it’s kind of what he’s like is what he’s like, like he really makes me laugh and he’s just so amazing.

Lennie: Do you just laugh all of the time?

Rita: All the time. It’s just really nice to be able to just be with someone that you know makes you feel like it’s not a job and it feels sort of like an existence? Rather then, uh, not that all my past relationships felt like jobs but it just felt like I was responsible to do things in the relationship. It was almost like “do you wanna go and have like dinner?” just like making an effort that you – I feel like relationships, you just don’t have to think really about them. They should just happen and this one just really happens. It’s really nice, it’s just natural. It’s great.

Lennie: Is he coming to Mighty Hoopla?

Rita: Yes!

Lennie: Yessss-

Jessie: Oh god keep him away-

Rita: Are you coming? Okay!

Jessie: Keep him away – Mum, mum – No – Rita -

Lennie: I’ve got – I’ve got leopard print welly boots for that.

Rita: What, for Taika or for the-

(Laughter)

Lennie: Not Taika!

Jessie: For the gays or Taika? I don’t know.

Rita: I’ll have to give him, uh-

Lennie: For the mud!

Rita: I’ll give him an update (Jessie: A warning) and I’ll let him know that you’re around… He’s gonna love it. Are you kidding? He loves attention. (laughs) He’s a Leo.

Jessie: Back to you-

Rita: Yes.

Jessie: So, growing up (Rita: Yeah) who was around the dinner table and what were you eating?

Rita: Oh, everything. I mean, first of all, our delicacy in Albania and how we sort of like function is very heavy. It’s like pastries and cheeses and um… It’s definitely more kind of like pies and sour-y, less sweet stuff, um… So there was always food on the table even just snacks whether it was like bowls of nuts or, just something is always there to just be eaten which is amazing

Lennie: So wait, you were born in Kosovo-

Rita: I was born in Kosovo and I moved to London in 1990 and we lived in West London our whole lives. I – I think before we found our real family home which was West London like Ladbroke Grove we kind of stayed around Ellschool area and then we found a really amazing house in Ladbroke Grove and that’s sort of where I grew up in West London, yeah.

Jessie: Were there a lot of Kosovans that you were friends with there? Or was it that you kind of moved over with your family and you didn’t know- you were starting again?

Rita: I love – first of all, before I answer this question, I love this show so much.

Lennie: Do you? Why?

Rita: I always – and I think I told you this –

Jessie: You’ve been asking to do it for a while.

Rita: I have.

Jessie: And we’ve wanted you!

Rita: And I was like, can I really just hang out with you and your mum because I just love the idea of chatting around people and eating and relaxing and me and my mum are like exactly the same.

Lennie: Do you argue with your mum?

Rita: Yeah, but just like light arguing.

Lennie: But you love each other.

Rita: It’s never like borderline (Lennie: No) abusive or aggressive or-

Jessie: Its passionate, you get it out, and then it’s done.

Lennie: And then you eat.

Rita: And then you act like nothing’s happened, yeah, and then you eat and it’s like “Dinner’s ready!” and you’re like, okay, and it just kind of-

Lennie: Are you a loud family? We’re pretty loud, aren’t we?

Jessie: Yes. We’re loud.

Lennie: When Jessie brought her husband into the family, he thought we were arguing all the time. And your daughter thinks we argue, just when we’re debating.

Rita: Really?

Jessie: Yeah, she puts her hands over her ears, when it’s just, we’re talking loudly.

Rita: Awww. It’s heated, it’s a heated debate.

Jessie: Yeah. We’re the same.

Rita: We’re just passionate people, I think, from the Balkans, Eastern Europeans we just, I think, communicate differently. We’re just very sort of like, direct.

Jessie: So what was a memorable dish that your mum or your dad made?

Rita: Well we had pite (https://www.myalbanianfood.com/recipe/albanian-spinach-pie-spinaq-pite/) which is basically like a spinach pie, it’s like seven – I actually wanted to bring some, but my mum had it for breakfast, and it was the one piece left and I was like “I can’t believe you – I told you I was doing this and I wanted to bring some food and-“ anyway. But-  

Lennie: It’s a bit like spanakopita.

Rita: It’s a bit like baklava but like-

Lennie: But with spinach in.

Rita: With spinach, and like cheese, and goat’s cheese, so it’s like a spinach pie. It’s just my favorite dish.

Jessie: Is that – Didn’t you make a dish on Louis Theroux (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001fr4r), were you making something-?

Rita: That’s what it was!

Jessie: It was that!

Rita: Yeah!

Jessie: Yes!

Rita: That’s a famous sort of dish, I personally love like stuffed peppers with minced meat and rice, and that’s a big one for our family, you just stuff the peppers with a lot of mince meat and if you don’t want rice –

Jessie: And what’s the seasoning?

Rita: Everything I see in the drawer, I put on the, spices, like everything, everything, every pepper, every – I mean, I can’t tell you, I don’t really have rules, I feel like for me, the more the merrier.

Jessie: Yeah, I feel like, Rita, you’ve never had rules, to be fair, so-

Rita: (cutely) I know

Jessie: So it kind of works like that in the kitchen too.

Rita: I think for me I just like, you know. Flavor’s flavor. I like a lot of flavor.

Lennie: You sounded New Zealand then.

Jessie: (mock NZ accent) “flavah’s flavah”

Rita: Oh no…

Jessie: How is that? Are you, kind of, because I hear-

Rita: A lot of people are telling me that!

Jessie: No but I think, it apparently means that you’re an empathetic person.

Rita: You’ve gotta stop me, because I really don’t want to have- I mean, I love them to death but I like my accent.

Jessie: No! But I can imagine, you- you’re married to- you know, you hear that, and – no, it was only a little tinge of it.

Rita: I know, well thank you.

Jessie: A little flavah of it.

Rita: Every time I do it, please catch me out

Jessie: “please catch me out”

Rita: Oh my god! Really, is it bad? Oh no! Okay.

Jessie: But I don’t-

Lennie: Naur!

Rita: No!

(Laughter)

Jessie: I love it, I think that-

Rita: I’m just around them all the time now, like it’s half of my family, and his kids go to school in New Zealand and so, yeah. We’re always there a lot.

Lennie: Where do you live, is it Auckland?

Rita: Auckland, we have a place literally on the water, it’s really nice.

(dreamy sigh, I think from Jessie)

Lennie: Yeah

Rita: Auckland is beautiful, I feel like New Zealand is, obviously, so far (Lennie: It is, Jessie says something indistinct) but if you make an effort to get there-

Lennie: It’s gorgeous.

Jessie: It’s stunning.

Rita: It’s a game changer.

Lennie: Have you been Jess?

Jessie: I’ve been over ten years ago when I did a festival called Laneway (https://www.lanewayfestival.com/) (Rita: Yeah) and I was there for a very short time but I adored it. (Rita: Isn’t it?) I adored the people and I mean, I like Australia too and I like that side of the- (Rita: Mmhmm) I like it.

Rita: I love it.

Lennie: You’re very popular there.

Rita: Yeah, I mean, I’ve done The Voice there obviously for a few years so I’ve been there like a big, big chunk out of my year. I haven’t done it now- I mean, I didn’t do it last year, but it’s, it’s, it’s like a home away from home for me, I really like Australia and obviously that’s where I met my husband and a lot of things just-

Lennie: You met him there?

Rita: Yes

Lennie: Where?

Rita: It was in Sydney. I was doing The Voice and he was filming Thor, uh, Ragnarok and it just, yeah, it’s just where we kind of clicked.

Jessie: Did you get set up?

Rita: I wouldn’t say set up, but we definitely met through a friend, innocently. Like, he was doing a barbecue, my husband loves to just cook, he loves to make – he’s a meaty person, so he just puts all the meat and it’s just meats and salads and things like that, he’s incredible at steak and things, and so he had a barbecue. And a friend of ours, uh, kind of, we had a mutual, was like “Hey my friend’s having a barbecue do you want to come with me?” and I was like “okay, if he’s okay with it, it’s at his house, personal house, blah blah blah” We get there and that’s where we met. And we became friends, and-

Lennie: Did you fancy him straight away?

Rita: No…Well I fancied him, but I just didn’t think it was a thing where he fancied me because I thought I was just too crazy for him, too much for him – I don’t know, the film world, I think, is just different to the music world of – pop stars and musicians, I think, are just more wild and I thought…but then I got to know him and he’s just more wild than anyone I’ve ever met. (laughs)

Jessie: I need to know…does he have a gas barbecue or does he do, you know, charcoal?

Rita: Charcoal. Always. He loves the real smokey feeling and the flavor and the smell – he prefers charcoal but if there’s gas he’ll make it work.

Jessie: Because I thought, down under, everyone had a gas one because they were barbecuing all the time and therefore they were like, well, we’ll just do, but- no, you do the whole effort thing.

Rita: But if you go down down under, when you go even further-

Jessie: Oh you go down down under, okay

Rita: -to New Zealand, I think there’s a real difference. Their cultures are actually really different. So you know the Maori culture, which is where Taika’s from, they actually make like an oven like in the ground. Um, I don’t want to explain it wrong, but it’s very much like natural, you know, you put the fire, the coal and everything and you actually – It’s called a – I think it’s called a boil up. (Jessie: Okay…) It’s- it’s delicious. I mean, the first time I had it, but I mean, you throw meat in there, vegetables in there. It’s actually just like a huge stew, I think is kind of how you explain it? But it’s just – smokey, everything’s smokey, the vegetables, the meat, everything, and you leave it under the ground for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and now it’s delicious.

Jessie: It sounds it, it sounds amazing

Lennie: He’s also a little bit Jewish, isn’t he?

Rita: A little bit (laughs) He is.

Jessie: Oh my god, no, see this is what I’m talking about, Kathy Bates

Lennie: He is

Rita: Yes he is

Lennie: Is it his father or his mother?

Jessie: I love Kathy

(Laughter)

Rita: It’s his mother.

Lennie: His mum’s jewish?

Rita: Yes

Jessie: Oh so he’s- (adopts a stereotypical American Jewish woman accent) He’s a Jew!

Lennie: (also trying to do the accent) He’s a proper Jew!

Rita: Oh you do like him! (Lennie: Yes, I do) Yes, yes, he’s half Jewish and half Maori.

Jessie: Enough about fucking Taika, mum, it’s –

Lennie: Okay, sorry-

Rita: Awwww

Lennie: I was wondering if he cooked Jewish food for her!

Rita: No, but, um, I do understand that being from a mixed culture, it’s interesting, because when I moved here from Kosovo, you know, coming into the UK it was just amazing because it’s such a mixing pot, so on Portobello Market which is kind of where I hung out all the time, the stores are just all over the world, you’ve got German, you’ve got Chinese, I mean it’s amazing, just kind of having-

Lennie: Did the Germans stool there? Sorry, do you know what I’m talking about?

Jessie: The German stool is so good, the bratwurst! Yes!

Lennie: I know, the bratwurst, oh yeah.

Jessie: On a Saturday, so good!

Rita: The sausages are to die for, aren’t they?

Jessie: So good!

Rita: I know!

Lennie: But there’s that, that place further up-

Rita: Speaking of food, are we gonna eat because now I’m starving!

Lennie: Yeah

Rita: Okay

Jessie: Yes! Yes, fabulous. Now we’ve got, kind of, we kind of got a few instructions that, quite healthy-

Rita: Oh good. Oh my gosh

Jessie: high protein-

Rita: Just to let you all know, I’m not like the crazy stricty person, but I do like a bit of a healthy-

Jessie: I appreciate that

Rita: Awwwww

Jessie: We’ve got, we’ve got gravlax-

Rita: You guys!

Jessie: We have some prosciutto- oh what is it, is it prosciutto, I don’t know (Lennie: ham and prosciutto) we’ve got some jammy eggs, we’re actually a real (Rita: Yummmmm) market appeal, basically (Rita: Awwwwwww) and then some salad

Rita: So who makes the food? Because I’ve always wanted to ask.

Lennie: Well if we want to be something more exotic (Jessie: Yeah) I probably would but it’s breakfast time so…

Rita: Oh my goodness, can I, this is- I also wanted to see how real this all was, and it really is!

Lennie: Yeah it’s real, yeah it’s real

Rita: You guys really just do the thing.

Jessie: -bits and bobs so it’s very much up to you

Rita: Thank you!

Lennie: - what you take- so you’ve got bits and bobs but I think it will give you sustenance.

Rita: This is a bit like an Albanian breakfast!

Jessie: Is it? Picky? Picky bits?

Rita: yeah! But do you know what my mum would add to this dish?

Lennie: What?

Rita: “Prženice” (https://thebalkanhostess.com/przenice/) which is basically like French toast. (Lennie: Oooo) but it’s, but it’s not like with the sweetness of it, it’s just the eggyness of it.

Jessie: I love an eggy bread.

Rita: I know, there’s nothing like it, is there?

Jessie: Have you ever tried cook- doing an eggy bread with challah bread? You know, the kind of knotted Jewish bread.

Rita: Oh yeah

Jessie: It’s very nice.

Rita: and then we have this thing called “ajvar” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ajvar) which is like almost like a spiced spread-

Jessie: Oh, that’s so nice

Rita: It’s like a red spice, yeah. It’s delicious. It’s just this is what we would actually just do for breakfast.

Jessie: Well just help yourself, salt and pepper, help yourself, take what you want

Rita: How excit- (overexaggerating NZ accent) How exciting! How exciting, mate!

(laughter)

Jessie: Um so okay. We’re going to talk about the single.

Rita: Oh yay!

Jessie: I got – we got to listen to it last night-

Rita: Did you?

Lennie: It’s gorgeous!

Jessie: It’s really gorgeous

Rita: Aww thank you!

Jessie: It’s very … I mean like we all know that you got married and you’re very happy and in love, but I really feel like that song celebrates- I mean yeah, I presume it’s about your husband.

Rita, slightly muffled: yeah!

(Laughter)

Jessie: Or this….you like….

Rita: You know…(laugh) I did my last album really inspired by my relationship and with this record, I want to get out of the idea of always being inspired by it (Jessie: Yup) because it’s a bit annoying, you know (Jessie: Yup!) I wanted to try and find a bit of inspiration that sometimes isn’t that deep.

Jessie: Babe, I hear ya. And I can relate for everybody, not just maybe (Rita: yeah) your situation.

Rita: And I think obviously for me as a music fan I like it being like “well this came from this moment where I did this and I did that” but sometimes…

(Dishes rattling in the background, background mumbling that’s indistinct)

Jessie: Yes please (Rita: what oil?) and some lemon actually, I’m going to get some lemon

Rita: Oh yes, come on, let’s- can I take some of this salad?

Jessie: Babe, help yourself

Rita: Uh, YUM!

Jessie: Um, is there - Is there lemon around?

Lennie: Yeah, in the fridge.

Rita: Guys, can I just say that the fasting thing is hell on earth.

Jessie: Well how long have you been doing that?

Rita: It’s really hard and anyone’s that like “oh it’s so easy” I just think that you never get over the feeling of hunger (laughs)

Jessie: Can I just say: suck it up, Rita, suck it up!

Rita: I am, I mean it’s been pretty good, like, for sleep though

Jessie: Has it? Are you a bad sleeper?

Rita: Mmm.

Jessie: But babe, I think that’s prob-tentially because you’re-like-what body-what time zone are you in now?

Rita: I have so much to do… (sighs) I feel like I have so much to do but it’s the same with you, and you’re a mum (Jessie: No, no) and I’m not even a mum!

Jessie: Babe, you- I, I think that I work too hard and then I see your bloody Instagram and I think “Jesus Christ” (Rita: yeah) “that girl doesn’t stop”

Rita: But you know what’s crazy-

Jessie: And respect, that’s how you are, you’ve always been like this, (Rita: Oh yeah, thank you) you’ve always been a grafter.

Rita: I have, yeah. I mean I was just having that conversation the other day. I just don’t know if I- how to do it any other way, to be honest.

Jessie: So the single’s coming out-

Rita: So the single, it’s called Ask and You Shall Ritaeceive (Jessie: yes), which, honestly? It’s not –

Jessie: Oo, you’ve gone born again, babe.

Rita: Yes. I literally wanted to feel like it’s not that deep. I wanted a really happy, fun summer anthem that everyone, if you think about my music over this sort of decade, it’s always been for me about uplifting (Jessie: yeah) people and having that ability (Jessie: mhmm) to just like feel good (Jessie: yeah) and I think anyone that’s been to my shows knows that, you know, you’re there to have a party, really, and, um, I-I love doing that. I love making people feel good, making people dance and Ask and You Shall Receive felt like the right thing at the right time. It was, you know, written by RAYE who I love dearly and that whole story of her’s and everything that she’s kind of, like, done is so inspiring and it feels so, so relevant for us now in the music industry to be able to just like prove that, you know, you can do things in such different formats nowadays. And, um, it just is like a 360 because I, I, you know, she supported me on tour, you know, I used to always ask her to come and pop out on my shows actually, like for Radio 1 Big Weekend and things, and you know she was kind of still trying to be an artist at that point. (Jessie: yeah) And I was like “you need to come out on stage with me” and she just was really kind of like grateful and there and happy. And so it was like a 360 moment. And so all of those little things really, really connected to me. And…yeah, it just happened and it came and it felt great. It feels really, really happy and-and-and organic and the visuals I think I’m-I’m feeding you guys a bit more of kind of darkness, a bit more not so perfect because it’s kind of leading into the new world and the new era. (music begins to play and swell as she speaks)

Ad break

Jessie: How is it, going into that entrepreneurial world? I mean obviously you’ve got Prospero tequila – is it Prospero? (Lennie in background: yeah) (https://www.prosperotequila.com/)

Rita: I thought it was a bit early to bring that-

Jessie: Babes-

Lennie: Not for- never too fucking early for Jessie  

(laughter)

Jessie: Excuse me? Not for Jessie?

Lennie: Do I drink tequila? No.

Jessie: You would-

Rita: Do you drink-

Lennie: No.

Jessie: -if it was here

Rita: -alcohol?

Jessie: Does she- fuck (?) – is

Lennie: Only wine (Jessie: yeah) – only wine

Rita: Oh that’s- If I remember from watching you do love a good glass of wine.

Jessie: Yes!

Lennie: Gorgeous, yes.

(laughter)

Jessie: So you know you’ve been doing business for a while. You did tequila (Rita: yeah), you are, you’re doing hair. Are you going to expand it into more beauty because it would make sense that you would do an eyebrow serum, (Rita: I think) an eyelash serum and then it goes into cosmetics.

Rita: I’ve had offers.

Jessie: And?

Rita: Like Ora Beauty [T/N: too many to tell which one] which kinda makes sense because Ora and everything, and. It’s just, I think, for me about the right time, you know, the right partners, the right product, I don’t want to rush anything, um. I’m just still in such a great headspace of putting out music and keeping that as the focus right now.

Jessie: Yes

Rita: I think that’s just, like, my priority. I did a lot of TV last year and I wanted to really just come back to where it all started and hone in my roots and put out some songs for the summer.

Lennie: Are you going to do The Voice here again?

Rita: No. No-no-no.

Lennie: No?

Jessie: But you do The Masked Singer

Rita: Um, I have done it now (Lennie: oh..), what, for a few years

Jessie: Right

Rita: Yeah, I think it feels like something I can’t stay away from. I just love Davina, Jonathan… you know we’re family now. You know-

Jessie: Yeah, it looks like you have so much fun.

Rita: I love Moe. I do it in the States now, though, the only problem is it’s filmed the same time.

Lennie: Oh…

Jessie: Babe!

Lennie: So you’re back and forth?

Rita: So it’s like LA, London for a day, and then I’m back to LA

Jessie: Do you have-

Lennie: How do you manage that?

Jessie: This is the thing!

Rita: It’s hell (Lennie: Do you-), but I manage it, it’s just mindset.

Lennie: Do you like aeroplane food?

Rita: I love aeroplane food.

Lennie: Me too. I love it.

Rita: I make a whole thing out of it.

Lennie: I love it.

Rita: Really? You don’t. [T/N: I think referencing Jessie?]

Lennie: I absolutely love aeroplane food.

Jessie: I’ll- I’ll eat it. So I like – I enjoy it.

Rita: I mean I take everything like you know ther- like when “Would you like a glass of champagne?” like as soon as you get there and I hate champagne, I’m like “yeah!” “Would you like nuts?” “Yeah!” And I- and the plane takes off and I’m like (whispers) “can I get some wine and some crisps” (regular voice) and then they’re like okay I’m ready to order okay cool I’ll do the starter, the middle, I mean I make it a whole thing. I love it.

Jessie: Is- (laughs) Wha- I mean, you must fly on every, every different thing. What’s the best- (Lennie: Air New Zealand!) What’s the best catering?

Rita: Airline wise?

Jessie: Yeah

Rita: I mean, I’m honestly not just saying this but Air New Zealand have really good food.

Jessie: I’ve heard they’re good.

Lennie: The wine is fabulous.

Rita: Isn’t it? Well I mean New Zealand wine is great. I went to the best winery in New Zealand actually, you guys need to come-

Jessie: What’s it called?

Rita: Oh I can’t remember but-

Jessie: Oh that’s unhelpful Rita!

Rita: I know, I know but I’ll send- I’ll text you it. It’s so yummy. (Jessie: Well, I, I keep on-) That was wasted.

Jessie: But I keep seeing you hanging out in hobbits houses.

Rita: I mean, because I’m a tourist. I can’t go to a place and not go to the, like, famous touristy places

Jessie: Are you a big Lord of the Rings fan?

Rita: Now I am!

(laughter)

Jessie: I can see! You keep on frequenting the hobbit hole!

Rita: No-no-no, I mean I obviously know about the franchise but I wanted to go and see- I wanted to go see it. Everything in New Zealand is so small because like there’s not that many of them, it’s a very small population and so it’s- Taika’s friends actually helped build the set and so, his name’s Ron, and he was like “Can you go and see it?” It took 2 years for 12 days of filming. Isn’t that insane?

Jessie: Wow!

Lennie: Well shit!

Rita: Come on

Lennie: But I can imagine that.

Rita: 2 years for 12 days!

Lennie: Yeah, but that’s important, isn’t it?

Jessie: But it’s now lived on and now it’s kind of (Rita: There you go) there you go. Um, last supper (Rita, whispering: ah yeah). Starter, main, pud, drink choice.

Rita: You know, for me, I’m a big picker, so like this is my ideal breakfast-

Jessie: Okay great.

Rita: So I would say for starters it would be like salads, bit of cold things like meats and cheeses, um, vegetables, cold not really cooked vegetables I like things feeling a bit raw. (Jessie: okay) Like I don’t know why I just, maybe that’s just how I grew up. Um, so that would be like my starter. (Jessie: yup) And then my dinner would honestly like because I just love food so much it’d probably be just like a really good, great, juicy burger. Like (Lennie: burger!) an amazing burger, like really well cooked juicy meat with like cheese and pickles and like a brioche bread. Like a brioche-

Jessie: Okay, where- where are you getting this burger? Like where is the best burger you’ve ever eaten?

Lennie: Does Taika cook them?

Rita: He makes good burgers. You know, I’ve been on a burger hunt for a really long time.

Jessie: Can I like offer one up to you?

Rita: Go on, yeah

Jessie: In Australia.

Rita: Really?

Jessie: In Sydney. (Rita: Oh!) No, Melbourne! Sorry, Melbourne (Rita: Okay…) Gimlet. (https://gimlet.melbourne/)

Rita: Okay…

Jessie: In like the center bit of- (stuttering) Melbournians, whatever you’re called (laughter) I’m apologizing now. But they do a late night burger, it’s on the menu, it’s a vibe. They do really good dirty martinis (Rita: ooo!) but the burger was sensational. So next time you’re filming, I don’t know whether you- where you film - where do you film the Mask- (Rita: In Sydney) Okay that’s unhelpful then, I’m sorry.

Rita: But you know what’s-

Jessie: Melbourne. If you’re there.

Rita: But you know what’s really good too and easy? A Shake Shack. (https://shakeshack.com) They’re really good.

Lennie: Shake Shack?

Jessie: I’ve never had one.

Rita: You know what, they’re really easy, great, good-

Lennie: Are they in London?

Jessie: Yeah, they are now.

Rita: The ones in America I think of but I’ve never had a London Shake Shack but a good Shake Shack is-is-is good.

Lennie: Where do you stand on In-N-Out? (https://www.in-n-out.com/)

Rita: I mean I love In-N-Out, I do think it’s a bit over- over played. (Jessie: Yeah) But I dunno if that’s just because like we’re English (Lennie in the background indistinguishable) but I feel like-yeah…

Jessie: What did you eat after the Met?

Rita: I mean, what didn’t I eat? It was everything in sight. Pizza, fries, burgers, um, if I had a choice in life I would just eat like burgers for the rest of my life.

Lennie: With chips?

Rita: With chips. (Lennie: yeah) Um, I’ve definitely introduced blue cheese into the burger world which I never used to do before.

Lennie: Oh yeah, I think blue cheese is gorgeous.

Rita: I think it’s nice in the burger. (Jessie: Very nice) I never used to, um, and a good sweet potato fry. Rather than a fry.

Jessie & Lennie at same time: Oh, really?

Rita: Is that disappointing?

Jessie: I don’t know! (Rita: laughing) It’s just – they promise so much and then they don’t deliver.

Lennie: You can’t - The thing is – you can’t keep them crisp.

Jessie: They don’t deliver.

Rita: I agree a little bit!

Lennie: You have to do it in the right flour.

Jessie: you think you’re doing the right thing by choosing the sweet potato fry but you may as well just have… (Rita: the fry) …the fry

Lennie: I like the courgette fries that they have in (Jessie/Rita: mmmmm)- yeah, the courgette fries they have in Whats it Burger, oh is it Honest Burger? (https://www.honestburgers.co.uk/)

Jessie: Oh, do they?

Lennie: yeah

Rita: Oh Honest is good burgers!

Jessie: Yeah, Honest is good.

Lennie: Yeah, they have courgette fries-

Rita: You know what also is good? The Electric has good burgers on Portobello (https://www.electricdiner.com/)

Lennie: (indistinct)

Jessie: Oh I wanted- I wanted to know, you used to work at Size (https://www.size.co.uk/), didn’t you?

Rita: I did, yeah.

Jessie: I can so imagine you- (Rita: Can you?) -being a cool (Rita: Walking around) -trainer girl!

Rita: (laughs) I still am, I was at-

Jessie: Hot, cool trainer girl!

Rita: I was actually talking about it yesterday, I’ve got my, um-

Lennie: Those are lovely!

Rita: These are my Rita for Primark clogs. (https://www.primark.com/en-us/r/rita-ora/view-all)

Lennie: Aren’t they nice?

Jessie: Are you doing another collaboration with them?

Rita: Oh yeah, I’m in bed with them. (Jessie: laughs) They’re my best friends. I mean honestly-

Jessie: They look very comfy.

Rita: I have to just give a quick shout out to Primark because I have to tell you something not even like because I work with them. They were such a massive staple for me growing up- That’s my- That’s my bag!

Lennie: Is this your bag?

Rita: I designed that bag!

Jessie: Oh my god, stop!

Lennie: I absolutely love it

Rita: Can I just hold it?

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Oh my-

Rita: So this was inspired-

Jessie: This was not rehearsed, guys.

Rita: No! (Jessie: This is bonkers) Did you not know (Lennie: No) this was Rita Ora Primark? See, this is why I love it because people-

Jessie: Well shouldn’t you be making it a bit more known that it’s your bloody bag, Rita?

Rita: Wait, where’s my logo? Oh that’s what it was, I didn’t want to put my logo on-

Lennie: There’s no logo on it.

Rita: Well no, it’s on the label. (Lennie: okay) It’s not on the- (Jessie: Why didn’t-) Because I didn’t- I wanted the product to really, like, be its thing, I didn’t want people to just buy it ‘cause it’s Rita Ora, I wanted people to actually like the design of it, which you did! (Lennie: I love it) This was, um, just inspired for easy living (Lennie: yeah) That’s everything I do now because, I don’t know if it’s ‘cause I turned 30 but I just do things to be easy in life now, like easy living. That’s so funny that you didn’t know that.

Jessie: That is really funny.

Rita: Anyway this is Primark too (Lennie: my favorite thing)  

Jessie: That’s great, it looks-

Rita: So yeah, shoutout to them.

Lennie: Is that Primark?

Rita: Yeah! And this!

Lennie: Oh my goodness.

Jessie: Babe you’re a full Primarnie girl today

Rita: Yeah because, can I tell you, like, it’s a staple point. Like I grew up really going to them for school, uniform, underwear, when my mum had breast cancer they had a really great breast cancer kind of collection for- for women that have had surgery and it was just always a big thing in my life and something that I always depended on. It was like a trusting friend, you know. Anyway and when I got into business with them everybody was like “Oh! Makes sense!” Cause I just wanted to just do things that I felt like I wanted to see when I was kinda going shopping there. Like high fashion stuff but you couldn’t afford it and it’s just been doing really well because I think people see the authentic story behind it and it’s the truth and that was kind of why I love meshing and blending with them. It felt like going home, I guess.

Jessie: How many bags are you traveling with at the moment, Rita? I don’t even want to know what your luggage amount is when you fly.

Rita: I actually have to like pre-call the airline to just like buy extra luggage

Jessie: Oh my gosh you’re like JLo

Rita: Is that what she does?

Jessie: I think, more- I don’t know if she calls but-

Lennie: Victoria Beckham has about- has a full trolley, doesn’t she-

Jessie: Well, that’s gonna be Rita.

Lennie: -like 20 cases

Rita: Well, what I’ve been trying to do is like leave things at friends’ houses so I don’t have to travel with a lot of things.

Jessie: Oh my god you’re that person. You’re that gal and they’re like “Fucking Rita’s left another bag!”

Rita: (laughing) I’m that person! I’ve left a suitcase at like 3 of my friends’ houses, like “this is actually taking up too much space, you need to come and get it.”

Lennie: Have you got your own house here still?

Rita: Yeah, I have my own house here (Lennie: yeah), yeah yeah yeah. But, right, I’m staying at my mum’s because it’s under, it’s under renovation at the moment.

Lennie: Yeah, it’s always staying with your mum

Rita: And, it’s really cute. And my husband’s coming for the weekend, so it’s going to be like my parents and my husband all in the same house.

Jessie: Have you got a big enough bed for you, or have you got a single bed in there, is it like kind of like-

Rita: It’s like a small double bed (Jessie: Oh bless, I know), and I-I-I don’t, I’ve never done that before, actually, had my husband there with my parents. Have you done that?

Jessie: Yeah, I mean, I’ve been with Sam since I was 18 (Rita: yeah) so just my mum though but like, yeah.

Rita: But when the first time you kinda like had that sleepover, and the parents were in the house like, what?

Jessie: Are we talking about sex here, Rita, or-?

Rita: Well I’m- Well I’m- (laughing)

Lennie: Well him staying the night!

Rita: Wait- I don’t- (laughing)

Jessie: Well what are we talking about-

Lennie: Hence, Rita – I can’t remember- (indistinct)

(laughter)

Rita: I’m talking about what is allowed, you know, like I don’t know

Lennie: You’re a married woman!

Rita: I know but still! It’s the thing of, like, what- (Lennie: Jesus)

Jessie: Why don’t you just book a hotel room? For the night?

Rita: Do you think?

Jessie: I don’t know! If you want to have sex with your husband, just book a hotel room.

Lennie: Jessica!

Jessie: This is what we’re discussing! The important shit!

Rita: No but what I’m saying-

Lennie: But you were talking about the first time you brought Sam and he stayed here-

Jessie: Yeah I’m sure you were very, (Rita: Did you guys-) you were chill about it

Rita: But did you guys, like, have dinner and then it was like “okay goodnight!”

Jessie: Babe, you’re acting like you’re an Amish gal (laughs)

Lennie: Jessie, Sam virtually lived here

Jessie: yeah

Rita: Aww that’s nice

Jessie: But you- I think it’s going to go okay, Rita!

Rita: I hope so! I guess I’ve just never – I’ve never been a married woman like living in the house you know, having my partner stay in the house with my parents – it just feels-

Jessie: It isn’t like he’s a bit of a rando, like, yeah exactly

Rita: Oh that would never have been allowed, no-no-no, but I do believe in the idea of like still, feel-, I dunno, I guess just as kids you’re never really like, it always is weird, I guess. Or maybe just for me.

Jessie: Making each other a nighttime tea at the end of the night.

Rita: I’m like (whispers) “Hey well we’re just gonna go to bed then, night then.”

Lennie: Well, what’s it like being the stepmother?

Rita: Ohhhhh I love it.

Lennie: You do?

Rita: Yeaaaahhhhhh. It just feels really cool because it’s like I’m, I’m just the fairy godmother that doesn’t actually really have any responsibilities. (laughs)

Lennie: And you- yeah. Well it’s same as being a grandmother. (Rita: Is it? It feels-) To be honest. You just give chocolate, you give whatever they want-

Rita: I break all the rules

Lennie: Yeah, break all the rules

Rita: And buy them anything they want

Lennie: Yeah, of course

Rita: It’s the best.

Lennie: Absolutely

Jessie: We haven’t- we haven’t got your dessert (Rita: oh, sorry) Or your drink.

Rita: Oh yeah! Well. Negronis.

Jessie & Lennie: Oooooo

Jessie: Nice

Rita: I love negronis. Um, I have-

Jessie: Have you tried a negroni with tequila in? Mezcal? And apparently it’s really delicious.

Rita: That’s how I make it, because I drink tequila so I do a tequila negroni. It’s really yummy.

Lennie: Hold on, tell me how you make that.

Rita: Okay, well. I don’t really make them. (Jessie: laughs) I just order them. But if I was to make one, I have done them over Christmas but they’re not exactly perfect but-

Lennie: So the ingredients.

Rita: It’s just kind of for me I just do like a bit of Aperol tequila and tiny bit of vermouth and (Jessie: Campari) Campari (https://www.liquor.com/recipes/mezcal-negroni/)  

Jessie: And it’s delish.

Rita: yeah. It’s very strong.

Lennie: That must be quite bitter.

Jessie: It is, but it’s strong, but I like it.

Lennie: And what do you put in, do you put orange in or-

Rita: Yeah I mean I guess the Campari has a bit of that, doesn’t it

Lennie: And is there any water added, like fizzy water or-

Rita: No but I do add a bit of water, like, the ice-

Lennie: Wine- for me

Rita: -because it’s a bit strong.

Jessie: Wine?

Lennie: no, I-I-(indistinct)

(Laughter)

Rita: Wine? Wine anyone?

Lennie: No, because I went to this thing last weekend and they made a cocktail with elderflower, vodka and white wine.

Jessie: Nice

Rita: Like a spritz

Lennie: And it was all mixed up. Yeah! It was really delicious.

Rita: You know I went to a flea market the other day and they were making like day drinks and they were putting rose water with like CBD and like mushrooms-

Lennie: you’re kidding [T/N: I think]

Jessie: You must’ve been in Los Angeles.

Rita: Yeah

Jessie: Yeah. No doubt.

Rita: And like mushroom adapt- adaptiens?

Jessie: Was it nice?

Rita: Is that what they call them?

Lennie: Did you have one?

Rita: Um, adaptogens, adaptigens?

Jessie: Yeah I don’t know but-

Rita: Mushroom adaptogens and I had one and it was like, great, like alcohol but still feeling like I was being healthy.

Lennie: How’d you feel after?

Rita: Great, I mean it wasn’t like psychedelic mushrooms (Lennie: Okay). It was like, uhhh, you know like, uh, Ashwangda and turkeys tail, it’s all these like herbs that are supposed to like help your brain. Lion’s mane, have you ever heard of all of this? (https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/drugs/22361-adaptogens)

Jessie: Yes, that’s a mushroom isn’t it?

Rita: Yes, so that’s-

Jessie: I saw a kombucha with that the other day.

Rita: Yeah so they’re all supposed to be really good for you. Um. And I’ve been putting them in my coffee actually and they’ve been great.

Lennie: Ooo!

Jessie: What supplements do you take? (Rita: Everything) What supplements should I be taking?

Rita: I take everything. Everyone that’s gonna listen to this is probably gonna think I’m crazy but I just don’t have time to like get sick so I’m-I’m-I’m like vitamin C every single day, the sort- the-the liquid ones, 2000 milligrams. And then I have mushroom extracts in my coffee, collagen in my coffee, I do hydration in my water, a liter of water a day, and I do that in the morning before I sort of like eat anything. And then I have a broth, I love broth, so I do ginger broth with turmeric and then a side of like, I don’t know, protein or something-

Lennie: God it’s like being on a health a thon.

(laughter)

Rita: I know! People think I’m insane but it’s because it kind of keeps me going but then for dinner I have anything like bread, desserts, steak, fries, ketchup – I’ll do everything so I’ll have like a massive meal for dinner and then I go to sleep and I do that all again.

Jessie: I mean, I’m – I’m with you on all the, I mean I-I kinda take the supplements and I’m just hoping they’re working

Rita: NAD. (https://www.menshealth.com/nutrition/a60332431/nad-supplement-benefits/)

Jessie: NAD, tell me about NAD. (Lennie: Um) Because I was thinking about doing NAD.

Rita: It’s good, I mean I just I’m not a scientist but from what I’ve read it’s really good for your red blood vessels and oxygen (Jessie: okay) and things like that and keeps you really ennnnergized (Jessie: okay). Iron, I do that a lot. Turmeric… I’m actually pretty boring (Jessie: do you-). You know how people think I’m sort of this like crazy party person, I do like to party now but I have to plan it.

Jessie: Yes.

Lennie: Oh, we all do

Rita: Do we?

Jessie: Are we going to party on Sunday evening?

Rita: Yeah, but I have a show on Sun- on Monday in Amsterdam.

Jessie: Oh that’s- (Rita: I know) Unfortunate (Rita: I KNOW!)

Rita: So I have to like leave at 9 am-

Jessie: No, because then we have to be the person that’s like mouthing at the party so we don’t sing otherwise you’d lose your voice.

Rita: Yeah, it’s so hard to party after a show and you have a show the next day. (Jessie: Yeah) Do you?

Jessie: No, it’s work

Lennie: You never party

Jessie & Rita: Oh!

Jessie: Excuse me!

Lennie: You’re so boring!

Lennieaughter

Rita: My thing is “sorraaayyyy”

Lennie: S’alright

Jessie: Um. Pudding. You’ve got a sweet tooth

Rita: Oh can I also add a cacio e pepe to the dinner?

Jessie: yeah, absolutely

Lennie: Oh, uh, yeah

Jessie: Where’d you get your cacio e pepe?

Rita: I just went to the one place down the road in Golberne yesterday actually for my dinner. I had cacio e pepe and a Negroni. So yeah, that’s on the list. Cacio e pepe at Cacciaris (https://cacciaris.co.uk/) (Lennie: okay) on Portabello Road is to die for. And then my pudding, oh, a sticky toffee or a panacotta, um, I am a sweet tooth, like I will have anything, a cheesecake, almond croissant, not cheese-

Lennie: I’d rather have cheese and a big glass of wine

(laughter)

Jessie: You’re seeing the theme.

Lennie & Rita: yeah

Lennie: The theme here

Rita: But I like that to start.

Lennie: Can you still speak Albanian?

Rita: yeah, yeah…

Lennie: Say “Good morning” in Albanian

Rita: Mirëmëngjesi

Lennie: It’s lovely, isn’t it

Rita: Natën e mirë is good night.  Natën e mire. Some people don’t really say lovely, it’s a bit, it’s definitely a bit more punchy than other languages so it’s nice that you’re calling it lovely. I actually learnt it all at home, my parents only spoke Albanian in the house. And-

Lennie: Do they still do that?

Rita: Not as much anymore, but growing up-

Lennie: So when Taika comes they won’t be talking Albanian to you when he- when they think he’s a bit rude or anything.

Rita: No, never, but he actually learnt the language, bless him, he’s so good, not fluently but he kind of knows key words and he tries to talk to them in Albanian and it makes my heart melt! It’s so adorable!

[T/N: Jessie & Lennie indistinct in background, I think Lennie says “makes me love him even more”]

Rita: (fake crying)

Lennie: And what’s “I love you” in Albanian?

Rita: Të dashuroj

Lennie: Well that’s a nice…

Jessie: Të dashuroj ?

Rita: yeah

Jessie: Um, Rita, it’s been so lovely having you, I don’t really want this to end-

Rita: Me neither

Jessie: I’m gonna ask you quick fire round, um, favorite place to go, unless this is gonna mean that everyone goes there (Rita: laughs), uh, New Zealand, LA, London. Your favorite food spots.

Rita: Ooo, (sound effect) duh-duh-duh-duh-

Jessie: Auckland! Sorry, not New Zealand. Auckland, Los Angeles, London.  

Rita: For food?

Jessie: Food.

Rita: Oh, Auckland does do good food. I mean everything is just fresh, the wine, the meat, everything is delicious.

Jessie: Restaurant? Which restaurant?

Rita: (sound effect) fu-fu-fu-fuhhh…oh my goodness! Sighs It’s hard… cause I mean I don’t want to offend them, because I know them now? You know, the owners? (sound effect) kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh- Ahhh! Hold on.

Lennie: Where do you go most often? Near your house. That you bought down the road.

Rita: I’m going to change the territory, just a little. (Jessie: Okay, fine.) Okay, let’s, let’s stick to London, let’s do George’s Fish and Chips. (https://www.instagram.com/georgesportobellofishbar/)

Lennie: Where’s that?

Rita: George’s is on the corner of Golberne and Portobello. To die for.

Jessie: What’s your order?

Rita: I mean, sausage in batter and chips, obvs.

Lennie: Sausage…

Jessie: Obvs? What, at a fish and chips shop and you’re getting- oh, okay

(laughter)

Lennie: Obvs? Well, I don’t need [T/N: I really have no idea what she says here, there’s like 2 words missing] actually

Rita: (laughing) Obvs at the fish and chips shop you’re gonna get sausage in batter. Yeah no

Jessie: What condiments? Just ketchup?

Rita: Ketchup, a bit of barbecue and lots of vinegar.

Jessie: Okay, so that’s George’s. Um, LA? Not fast.

Rita: I think you made the same face. I’m not that fast. Are you?

Jessie: No…

Lennie: It’s not a food hot spot, I don’t think, LA.

Rita: I mean, if anything it’s that sushi place (Jessie: Sushi Park), that Nobu- that new- that Nobu did before- yeah, yeah

Jessie: Oh, um, uh-

Rita: Matsuhitsu

Jessie: Masuhisa

Rita: Matsuhisa. (https://matsuhisabeverlyhills.com/) It’s got very good sushi.

Lennie: Do you like sushi?

Rita: I like it, when I’m kinda, tryna not eat unhealthy, you know, a good sushi-

Lennie: I don’t get it at all, I don’t get it really.

Rita: Really? Do you like ceviche?

Lennie: Yeah

Rita: I love ceviche.

Jessie: I do too.

Lennie: That’s easy to make.

Rita: A nice salad, a nice…my mouth’s already watering thinking about it.

Jessie: That’s good. So are we going to choose one in Auckland or are you too worried because you’re the new- you’re a new resident there (Lennie: She’s a newbie, yeah) and you need to keep everyone happy?

Rita: I think so, just for now

Lennie:  Have you got a New Zealand passport yet?

Rita: I don’t….no, no. British.

Lennie: Just British?

Rita: Yeah.

Lennie: And not…and not Albanian?

Rita: I actually… No, I mean, I haven’t left- I’ve been here since the beginning and so-

Lennie: Okay, so you’re just British.

Rita: Yeah, yeah. I don’t…I’ve just also had a, this is my home, you know? This is kind of where I’ve grown up, where I live, and where I kind of want to live.

Lennie: Where did– where did you get married?

Rita: Actually we got married in LA. (Lennie: And where did you go-) At home. (laughs)

Lennie: At home. And where did you go on honeymoon?

Rita: It was really cute. It was not a lot of people, it felt really nice, it’s just his kids were there, and we actually found somebody that, it’s called Weddings On The Go? [T/N: Possibly https://www.marriagetogo.com/ ? Couldn’t find a company with this name in California]

(laughter)

Lennie: Weddings On The Go….

Jessie: I’m obsessed with the idea of you Googling probably “Quick wedding (Rita: yeah!) on the go”

Lennie: Weddings On The Go, it’s like-

Rita: And she came to the house and-

Lennie: -take away wedding!

Rita: yeah, that’s what it was! She came to the house and did the job and we were married.

Jessie: Oh my god I love you.

Rita: And I think I was like number 17 in her day (Lennie: and did-), cause she, cause she was not like ready to stay, she was just like hurry up and- (Jessie: cool, you’re married) -you’re done, bye, see you later. Can you open the gate? (Jessie: (laughing) the bride!) I was like “okay! Thanks!”

Lennie: And what was the reception?

Rita: We didn’t have one. It was just all at home, and then that was it. And then we just went out and had drinks… laughs.

Jessie: I love that

Lennie: And then honeymoon?

Rita: We didn’t have one, we went straight back to work, really.

Lennie: Have you had one?

Rita: No, thinking about it, no!

Jessie: Do you want one?

Lennie: She needs a honeymoon.

Rita: I think I need a honeymoon!

Jessie: You fucking need a bloody yea- you need a sabbatical though!

Rita: (laughs) I love you! I will, eventually.

Jessie: Um, last question. (Rita: yeah) A nostalgic taste or smell that can transport you back somewhere?

Rita: Uh, pancakes. But not the American thick pancakes. (Lennie: So-) Almost like the crepe like pancakes. Those are the pancakes my mum made growing up.

Lennie: And what did you have on them? Lemon and sugar?

Rita: I would- No, it was- it’s actually a mix of sweet and savory so I would have lemon and sugar, or jam, and then I would have like that red ajvar sort of sauce with a side of like white cheese, um, and so it’d be more like a salty dish. But they were thin, they weren’t like thick pancakes so they were like crepe-like pancakes.

Jessie: Yeah, sounds delicious.

Rita: And she’d make them from scratch, so there was like no solu- like she’d do it all, the batter and everything. And it’s the best. Thee best.

Jessie: Maybe you should get your mum to make that for dins tonight.

Rita: You know how everyone says their mum is their favorite cook? (Jessie: Is she your fave?) But she really is my favorite. Do you- Is your mum your favorite?

Jessie: ….y-

Lennie: …not really

(laughter)

Lennie: Jessie’s very critical – Jessie always-

Jessie: No, I-I-I love your cooking. We all do. The nation.

Rita: Really? Have I started something?

Jessie: No, no, we love it

Lennie: I can cook!

Jessie: She can cook.

Lennie: Yeah

Rita: Oh I can imagine

Lennie: Jessie-

Jessie: She can whip things up as well, like I’ll never forget (Rita: Yeah), um, my sister’s about to have a baby but (Rita: aww) like she, and she, and I was like “let mum at the kitchen” so I remember there was this one night, I think it was the first baby that I had and I was so tired and mum just made this like delicious slow cooked lamb, kind of- (Rita: gasps, yum), pearl barley I think it was a Northern Ireland [T/N: this is my best guess, please correct me if you know what she says here] thing but I just remember it feeling so nourishing and like she’d made it and it was like the smells of her cooking and me, like, trying to work out how to, like, look after a baby (Lennie: oh good) and I very much appreciated it.

Rita: Was it a pressure cooker that you used?

Jessie & Lennie: No

Rita: Do you put it just-

Lennie: I have got a pressure cooker-

Jessie: Have you got, uh-

Lennie: -but I’ve barely had to use it.

Rita: I’m new to the pressure life, and I love it/

Jessie: Have you got an air fryer?

Rita: I just got one as well last year.

Jessie: And how are you finding this?

Rita: I love it. I think it’s so good for the step kids, like I literally put everything in the air fryer, and they love it. I mean, again, because I just give them whatever they want, if they want fish fingers or whatever I’m like “yeah!” And so then I just put everything in the air fryer.

Lennie: Do you like karaoke?

Rita: Yeah!

Lennie: I love it but Jessie hates it. She says that singers generally don’t like it.

Rita: I mean I wouldn’t go and sing seriously on- at the- (Lennie: ‘course you wouldn’t, what’s your song?)

Jessie: What would be your selection?

Rita: But then I can’t not sing seriously when you like have the mic and then I’m like “wha-alright, fine I’ll just sing it”

Lennie: So which song would you sing?

Rita: Well, Dancing Queen. I’m actually going to sing that on Sunday.

(gasps)

Jessie: That’s gonna go great down.

Rita: But I’m doing like a slow, lovely kind of version of it.

Jessie: But that sounds great!

Lennie: How fun!

Rita: But ABBA’s just always like my fave.

Lennie: Have you seen the ABBA thing?

Rita: No, I haven’t actually had time-

Jessie: Do that with Taika! It’s so good!

Lennie: Oh my gosh it’s so amazing.

Rita: I heard it’s amazing.

Jessie: Babe, it’s amazing.

Lennie: You think they’re there.

Rita: No way!

Lennie: You do, you actually can’t believe they’re not there.

Jessie: It’s really- you’ll love it

Rita: I love that! (Lennie: It’s fantastic) Did you guys go together?

Jessie: Yeah, we did.

Lennie: We all went, didn’t we? It was fantastic.

Jessie: It’s really good, you’d love it.

Rita: I love you guys (Jessie: Rita, you’re fabulous) but you really made my day cause I love this show and I always laugh when I watch you guys and-

Jessie: Thank you babes.

Rita: The quick little arguments you have in between the interviews really make me laugh.

Jessie: We’ve been really well behaved today.

Lennie: Yeah, we have.

Rita: I wouldn’t say arguments, I would say, debates, let’s re-

Lennie: I think we’ve been really quiet

Jessie: We’ve really, we’ve really held back

Rita: Maybe I’ve just talked.

Jessie: No!

Lennie: No you haven’t.

Jessie: No, no.

Rita: I’ll see you guys on Sunday!

Jessie: Yeah we’ll see you again.

Rita: Also if you don’t have any space to be out on her stage-

Lennie: I’ll come over to your’s Ritaita!

Rita: -You always have a spot on mine.

Lennie: Thank you, darling.

Jessie: Thanks Rita.

Rita: I love you guys, thanks for having me!

Jessie: Thank you!

Rita: Yay!

---

Jessie: Mum, didn’t I tell you that you’d love Rita Ora?

Lennie: Absolutely adorable.

Jessie: And she even offered up her husband to you on Sunday at Hoopla!

Lennie: That is the best thing (Jessie: (laughs)) about the whole podcast today, that I’m going to get to meet him.

Jessie: I love Rita, she is incredibly generous and sweet and she is very open.

Lennie: Very, very warm.

Jessie: She’s really – she was really enjoying herself.

Lennie: Good. I think the picky bits worked.

Jessie: Picky bits was perfect. (Lennie: yeah) She was thrilled. Well done, mum. She loves you.

Lennie: I love her.

Jessie: Maybe you’ll be modeling in the next Rita Ora Primark campaign, I don’t know!

Lennie: What’s- what are the Rita Ora fans called?

Jessie: Ritabots

Lennie: I think I’m a Ritaibt now.

Jessie: You’re a Ritabot.

Lennie: Yeah

Jessie: Thank you so much to Rita Ora, her new single “Ask and You Shall Receive” is out now, this is coming out after but maybe you enjoyed her show at Hoopla and uh she’s just a busy bee doing everything.

Lennie: I just don’t know how it would be to move around so much. You wouldn’t know where you were waking up. Do you know what I mean? It’s like when we got back from LA, Jessie, I woke up one day and I thought I was in Belly’s house in Malibu and went the wrong way to the loo from my bedroom. And can you imagine what she’s like? She wouldn’t know where she is.

Jessie: I’m surprised she doesn’t have bumps all on her arms and on her head Mum! [T/N: This sentence was rough and I’m probably missing a few words but this is clearly the sentiment.]

Lennie: I know. She’s never in one place for very long, is she?

Jessie: Maybe we all need to start having lion’s mane (Lennie: yeah) and turmeric broth so I can see you doing that, right up your street mum. Um, but anyway we will see you next week but thank you so much Rita, the single, the new single “Ask and You Shall Receive” is out now, and yeah, let us know if you saw us at Hoopla at the weekend. Thanks.

[sapphire-weapon]

No, hold on, I'm actually mad about this now (again).

Like, I just want everyone to stop and think about how completely nonsensical this version of Leon that's being pushed actually is.

So, he's a blonde second-generation Italian guy (despite the fact that him being so aggressively American is a running gag in OG RE4) named Scott Kennedy (because that's not ridiculous on its face already. Also he spends literally every single moment of his adult life outside of RE4 making sure that his roots never show because ??) who is the most naive motherfucker on the planet going into RE2 despite the fact that he grew up in a mafia family. Said mafia family, by the way, was murdered by a rival gang, and the only memento Leon has of his late father is a Zippo lighter that he then, later, as an adult, got the RPD logo engraved on. Because fuck sentimental value, actually, I guess.

He hits on every pretty woman who crosses his path, except it's just a joke and for funsies and he doesn't actually sleep with any of them or even want to, and when he tells Shen May he wants to take her out and doesn't care that she has a boyfriend, that's completely innocent and in no way reflects badly on him as a complete and total scumbag. His arrested development at age 21 and his brain being frozen permanently in 1998 paired with his extreme loneliness caused by forced isolation are just accessories for window dressing, actually, and have absolutely no bearing on his personality because he's just a clueless well-meaning introvert at heart who accidentally stumbles on the scummiest shit to say to women sometimes, but it's ok because he's doing his best.

Also, despite being an obnoxious do-gooder and perfect student, he was late to his first day of work at the RPD because he irresponsibly got drunk over being dumped by a girl that is never mentioned or even alluded to at any point during his character arc.

But he's definitely not a slut.

Not only that, but he's said to be one of the smartest people in the cast ("practically a genius," Ada calls him in a report) and yet he hero worships and unconditionally trusts and respects the man who kidnapped him off the streets outside of Raccoon City and held a gun to his surrogate daughter's head and ruined both of their lives.

All of this makes sense. This is definitely 100% the true intended interpretation of Leon S. Kennedy and is in no way a bunch of bullshit slapped together with no evidence for it in canon.

This absolutely makes way more sense than the interpretation of:

Leon has no canonical backstory but is so aggressively American that it's a running gag in OG RE4 (he's literally called "The American pig" at one point), so chances are he had a really mundane upbringing by parents who are part of families that have been in this country for several generations past already. He was an honor roll student who got top marks in police academy and specifically chose to apply to and join a police force in a city that had a gruesome serial killer investigation on-going because he has something to prove.

(Also, he's only blonde in one singular title out of the ten that he's appeared in because his natural hair color is, in fact, actually brown.)

In his stubbornness, he pushes Claire away because he's still trying to prove something to everyone and also himself by insisting that he'll be fine taking care of Sherry on his own. This hubris born from insecurity bites him in the ass when he gets snatched off the street by faceless CIA goons and forced into being trained to and actually performing the government's dirty work.

His captivity, forced isolation, and personal failures in and just after Raccoon City have dealt a massive blow to his sense of self-worth and his self-image, creating a desperately lonely man who has the maturity of a 21 year old well into his late 20s and 30s. This causes him to pursue superficial, physical relationships with women, because he fears being vulnerable enough to actually open up to anyone emotionally. Unfortunately, all of these little details culminate in some self-sabotaging and scumbag behavior, up to and including being an outright homewrecker, unconcerned with whether a woman he's trying to fuck has a boyfriend or is married or whatever -- as evidenced by his interaction with Shen May.

His self-isolation and depression get even worse later in life when an outbreak occurs in Tall Oaks, and he's forced to shoot and kill one of the only people who's ever cared about him -- a military officer turned president whose goals and values align with Leon's own, and who genuinely values his company and expertise and takes his (Leon's) emotions and trauma seriously. Adam Benford can't undo the damage that was done by Leon's capture and forced servitude, because he can't go back in time and he wasn't even there when it happened, but he did give Leon hope for a brighter future.

^^^^^ THIS??? ^^^^^ is using information that is strictly found in the games and CGI movies -- and does not conveniently omit any other details about him (other than the whole Ada thing, but like -- that's irrelevant to the point I'm trying to make). It is the whole picture of Leon as the games paint him and nothing else. THIS is what the intended canon for him is.

NONE OF THAT OTHER BULLSHIT is in the games, because none of that other bullshit makes sense -- which should be really fucking evident to anyone paying attention, especially now that it's been written out in full.

[bruhstation]

Ok this is such a niche prompt but it entered my head and won't leave and I think you might enjoy it.

Which of the characters, Canon or Casa Tidmouth interpretations (your choice), do you think would best fit into the roles of the TF2 Mercenaries

Feel free to ignore btw this is an "I can't sleep" kind of random idea.

Also autocorrect almost made that Canada Tidmouth and I only just noticed before hitting send. Something something au where everything is the same but the story happens in Canada instead of England.

you think I might enjoy it? damn right‼️ took some days for me to think about this …..as a tf2 fan of 5 years I GOT TO answer…‼️

scout — thomas awdry billington himself. kind of a smartass, (one of) the youngest of the cast, is involved with much of the story’s surface while lots of other characters are working behind the scenes… also has the highest chance to get a misspelled tattoo of his favorite song

soldier — …..duck? soldier is a huge american nut and that could parallel casa tidmouth’s duck and his great western schtick. though duck’s much smarter than soldier and would read the manuals on how to use a rocket launcher at least eighty times and checking every nook and cranny before firing it. also imagine duck reciting soldier’s speech from his character video

pyro — as much as some of the characters are involved in denpa-esque situations and experience some level of delusion I don’t think there’s anyone that could match pyro’s. hurricane and frankie could fit because of their thing with heat and fire and them being crazy but that’s a bit stretching

demoman — donald and douglas? because they’re scottish and have a knack for jokes? lol ….. I think henry could fit too because both him and demoman gets involved with supernatural occurrences out of their will but they just laugh it off

heavy — maybeeeee gordon. his taunts like “run cowards” “tiny baby man” and them both being the tall big strong guys drew me to this connection. but heavy is more reserved, calculating, and doesn’t boast too much about himself while many of gordon’s accidents came from his own hubris

engineer — victor methinks….. both dell and victor have degrees in engineering and considered the smartest in the cast. also the more amicable ones yet has the ability to lose their patience once in a while. also I literally only drew him once. have to draw him again because he’s like if tf2 engineer is a cuban man and much more sane

medic — either lady or d10. both lady and medic share the same morbid curiosity towards humanity (though lady is milder and more of an observer rather than a doer) and are amicable and polite. both d10 and medic conduct body altering experiments that could put them in the national watchlist and have little to no regard for the safety of people around them. so diesel 10 it is the cheerful and friendly aspects of medic remind me of edward for some reason????? probably the glasses

sniper — cranky. just think about it. perched on something tall. thinks everyone around them is an idiot. just wants to get the job done but also cracks some morbid if not slightly sharp jokes

spy — I’ll say diesel because this comparison has layers upon layers of joke.

also your phone autocorrect 🤣 casa tidmouth but it’s set in canada? that’s scott pilgrim vs. the world stanza halifax

[dr3amofagame]

one of the things ive always found neat about c!dreams and c!wilburs dynamic is that c!wilbur is one of the few people on the server who view themselves as equal to dream in terms of strategy and schemes!

interesting!

it's funny to me ... because i think as far as c!dream being perceived as someone specifically like plotting in nature, that was definitely something that evolved over time? like, a lot of c!dream's early reputation was rooted in two things: 1) he's intimidating and 2) he's hard to kill. which meant that people would kind of see antagonizing c!dream as a challenge, in a way, c!tommy being the most obvious example but characters such as c!tubbo, c!fundy, and c!sapnap also getting involved in the action--in general, besting dream was a sort of achievement, so like you say there was a degree of hmm putting him on a pedestal almost. or making him the pedestal might be the more accurate description, where c!dream was The Guy To Beat, Mr. 1000 IQ etc

at the same time tho, dsmp characters are nothing if not full of hubris (LOL) and i don't think c!dream's hmmm strategic genius in character and plotting is something necessarily highlighted that much early on, or at least as something that people couldn't measure up to. lmanburg directly undercuts the intelligence of the "americans" quite often in its creation, as part of the whole Spiel was that americans are idiots and a large part of why the revolution panned out the way it did was because of a relative overestimation by lmanburg of their own combatic and strategic abilities against dream smp. i think the list of people who have estimated themselves as smarter than c!dream and have tried (and failed) to outsmart him is very high tbh, gestures at c!quackity LOL but also like...idk, c!dream's intelligence in terms of the ways people view it on the server always felt ... kinda variable to me? c!dream-as-schemer was more heavily emphasized as "c!dream is someone that only every pursues anything for selfish self-interest" imo

as for the c!wilbur of it all...c!wilbur is undeniably intelligent as a character. and he doesn't particularly underestimate c!dream much, i would say--especially post-revolution, he is very aware that c!dream is an enemy that he doesn't want to have. but at the same time, c!wilbur has a pattern of making somewhat mocking comments particularly about c!dream's intelligence (and when not mocking, sometimes a little...condescending? very much emphasizing the whole "ohhh he's 1000 IQ dream he's so much above all of us" and such) (god. dont remind me of the trivia competition) and also quite fucking easily talks circles around c!dream and does use this to his benefit. then again, i wouldn't say c!wilbur is as strategically minded as c!dream, necessarily--his strengths tend to lie elsewhere. something similar can be said about his "scheming"--even the most successful of his arguable schemes, lmanburg, snowballs quite quickly into something beyond his original intentions and then kind of consumes him.

this is a whole lot of words for a whole lot of nothing, but ig my point is when talking abt characters and intelligence, there's a lot you can say in 1) pinpointing specific areas of intelligence 2) assessing their prowess in each individual area and 3) looking at their ability to assess their own skill in this area as well as the skill of others. in general, i would say that characters on the dream smp tend to underestimate c!dream's strategic skill (or else more people would probably be questioning the whole, staged finale of it all) and their assessment of his scheming tends to be pretty dependent on how much they can use said assessments on his schemes as a vehicle to blame him, lmao (gestures at the mexican lmanburg debates). so from this perspective id say that there are quite a few characters that do think themselves as quote-unquote "smarter" than c!dream and able to out-strategize, out-scheme him (whether or not they're actually capable of this fact) and that if we're talking abt specifically c!dreambur, id say that a post specifically on their perspectives of each other would be MUCH MUCH MUCH longer and much more complicated, on a whole c!wilbur does seem pretty cognizant of the fact that their strengths intellectually lie in different areas and utilizes this in interactions that involve the two. if this makes sense

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 58 – The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin

I originally put a hold on this at the library back in the spring, so by the time I actually got my hands on it I’d entirely forgotten why I’d asked for it specifically. Still, in general I’d been meaning to read more Le Guin (and more classic sci fi/stuff written in previous generations, generally), so it isn’t too mysterious. It’s definitely a meaty read as far as cultural artifacts go, but I must admit that as a reading experience it left me a bit cold.

The story takes place in the distant and futuristic year of 2003, in a Portland that’s rather worse for the wear – overpopulation, widespread and crippling malnutrition even in American cities, a war in the Middle East threatening to spiral out into nuclear Armageddon, climate change has led to mass resettlement away from the coasts, and also its always raining. Into this comes Gregory Orr, a man whose dreams can retroactively change reality. Horrified by this, he almost overdoses on stimulants to avoid sleep – and is basically given court-ordered ‘voluntary’ therapy. Dr. William Haber, after taking a bit to believe him, starts using the magic of hynpotherapy and also Orr being kind of a pushover to trigger, manipulate, and direct his magic dreams and start trying to retroactively fix the world. Because it turns out hypnosis-induced dreams have a lot in common with asshole genies, side effects include a pandemic killing the majority of humanity, an alien invasion, everyone having identically coloured grey skin, and eventually the execution of anyone discovered to have a inheritable medical condition for eugenics reasons. Eventually Haber believes he’s discovered a way to induce the same dreams in himself, and when he tries just kind of breaks reality and himself at the seams. Before he does, he finally cures Orr of the dreams, and amid the ruins he gets a girlfriend (who had in other versions of reality been his lawyer and then dead and then his girlfriend) and settles down to a good life working with his hands.

The overall feel of the book is, like, Seeing Like A State as Twilight Zone episode. There’s a distaste for capital-P Progress – for top-down utopias, technocratic utilitarianism, psychiatry and eugenics and public health initiatives, tolerance through the erasure of differences, bureaucratic work, lives without strife and struggle, and just generally measuring the marigolds – that absolutely pervades the work. It is good and virtuous, the book seems to (or outright does) say, to help people you know and directly around you, and in the face of an apocalypse you do whatever you can. But otherwise, in the course of normal life, thinking you can really improve the world is the height of hubris, and thinking you have any duty to is just disguised megomania – anti-overpopulation efforts lead naturally to democidal plagues, trying to cure cancer to brutal eugenics regimes. The good life is a grounded one, where you have a job where you work with your hands and do something constructive, and don’t mess around with dangerous dreams – the only alternative is playing a cruel god over the masses.

The aesthetic and political revulsion towards 20th century modernism is of a piece with what else I’ve read of Le Guin, but the sort of conservative, struggle-idolizing quietism it puts forward as the positive alternative kind of took me by surprise.

Speaking of overpopulation – as an artifact of anxieties about the future and science, the book is just fascinating. Written in 1970, it really does take it as almost a given that in thirty years overpopulation would be an acute crisis. The numbers actually aren’t far off – a global population of 7 billion is mentioned – but this is taken to mean a world where childhood malnutrition is a fact of life for the average American in the Pacific Northwest, and there’s so much demand for grain-as-foodstuff that a psychiatrist can’t afford brandy. Hypnosis is also treated with a level of seriousness and gravitas that these days its only shown in self-conscious pulp and fetish porn. On the other hand, the fact that a book written in 1970 is talking about ‘the greenhouse effect’ and how climate change is going to cause ruinous natural disasters is, well, deeply depressing.

Completely tangential from everything else – so the only female character in the book is Heather Lelache, a lawyer Orr goes to for help and then a couple reality iterations later starts falling in love with. Or properly speaking after he accidentally dreams her out of existing in the process of abolishing racism, he dreams her back and it’s functionally an entirely different and much meeker and milder person (like, she gets POV chapters, the change in internal monologue is striking) and also goes from ‘lawyer’ to ‘legal secretary’, and he continues falling in love with and marries her. This is never really called out or commented upon but it did strike me enough that I wanted to bring it up as interesting.

Anyway, don’t regret reading this, but probably the Le Guin I’ve gotten the least out of, overall.