#something something opening line of anna karenina

[gothicvalentine]

Found it, in case anyone reads my tags this is a recent article about loneliness that I thought was really interesting and made me think of Malleus.

[nicklloydnow]

“A recent study published in Psychological Science and led by a scholar now at the USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences, suggests that when it comes to their brains processing information, people who are not lonely are all alike, but every lonely person processes the world in their own, idiosyncratic way.

Copious research shows that loneliness is detrimental to well-being and is often accompanied by self-reported feelings of not being understood by others. A recent report from the United States Surgeon General's office referred to loneliness as a public health crisis in reaction to the growing number of adults suffering from this condition. Even before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, approximately half of U.S. adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness.

(…)

Comparing the brain imaging data between the two groups, the researchers discovered that lonelier individuals exhibited more dissimilar and idiosyncratic brain processing patterns than their non-lonely counterparts.

This finding is significant because it reveals that neural similarity, which refers to how similar the brain activity patterns of different individuals are, is linked to a shared understanding of the world. This shared understanding is important for establishing social connections. People who suffer from loneliness are not only less similar to society's norm of processing the world, but each lonely person differs in unique ways, as well. That uniqueness may further impact the feelings of isolation and lacking social connections.

Baek said, "It was surprising to find that lonely people were even less similar to each other." The fact that they don't find commonality with lonely or nonlonely people makes achieving social connection even more difficult for them.

(…)

The researchers observed that individuals with high levels of loneliness -; regardless of how many friends or social connections they had -; were more likely to have idiosyncratic brain responses. This raised the possibility that being surrounded by people who see the world differently from oneself may be a risk factor for loneliness, even if one socializes regularly with them.

The study also suggests that because social connections or disconnections fluctuate over time, it may influence the extent to which an individual processes the world idiosyncratically.”

“Social disconnection can be classified into two different, but connected, components. "Social isolation" refers to being objectively alone or having infrequent social connections, while "loneliness" is defined as a painful feeling caused when someone's actual level of social interaction is less than they would like it to be.

(…)

The researchers found that both social isolation and loneliness increased the risk of hospitalization or death from heart failure by 15% to 20%. However, they also found that social isolation was only a risk factor when loneliness was not also present. In other words, if a person was both socially isolated and felt lonely, loneliness was more important. Loneliness also increased risk even if the person was not socially isolated. Loneliness and social isolation were more common in men and were also associated with adverse health behaviors and status, such as tobacco use and obesity.

(…)

"These findings indicate that the impact of subjective loneliness was more important than that of objective social isolation," he said. "These results suggest that when loneliness is present, social isolation is no more important in linking with heart failure. Loneliness is likely a stronger psychological stressor than social isolation because loneliness is common in individuals who are hostile or have stressful social relationships."

(…)

In a related editorial comment, Sarah J. Goodlin, MD, researcher at Patient-Centered Education and Research, and Sheldon Gottlieb, MD, associate professor of medicine at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, said social isolation and loneliness are often impacted by an individual's socioeconomic status.

"The relationship with social isolation and loneliness is probably strongest in persons at extremes of social isolation and loneliness and compounded by low socioeconomic status," Goodlin and Gottlieb said. "Because social determinants of health are increasingly recognized as important components of patient-centered health care, it may be appropriate to incorporate specific interventions, such as 'social prescribing' into care."”

[youritalianbookpal]

@murielstacy (who is always a dear) asked for book recs based on this ask game:

16. a book you'd recommend to your younger self

If I think about the books that "changed my life", I think they changed my life because I read them at the right time, so I wouldn't suggest any of these to a younger version of myself.

With this being said, I think there's quite a few books I've read as an adult that would have changed a lot in my life, if I had read them as a kid or teen. Like, what if I had read something like World of Wonders by Aimee Nezhukumatathil when I was 11 or 16?

54. a book with the best opening line

Part of me wants to be basic and say something like Anna Karenina, but my first thought was Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert:

"Once upon a time, Chloe Brown died.

Nearly.

It happened on a Tuesday afternoon, of course. Disturbing things always seemed to happen on Tuesdays. Chloe suspected that day of the week was cursed, but thus far, she'd only shared her suspicions via certain internet forums-and with Dani, the weirdest of her two very weird little sisters. Dani had told Chloe that she was cracked, and that she should try positive affirmations to rid herself of her negative weekday energy."

127. a book you'd read when you're missing somebody

Most of the books by Isabel Allende I've read remind me of my family, especially the women in my family, because we all love reading Allende and we often talk about it. My mom always says she was reading The Infinite Plan the day I was born. If I feel lonely, Portrait in Sepia always helps a lot.

[thorntonkrell-blog-blog]

"Happy experiences are all alike; every frustrating encounter, however, is frustrating in its own way."

ChatGPT

Your recount of the experience at the presentation in North Carolina vividly captures the frustration that can arise when faced with needless contradictions based on inaccurate information. Your narrative effectively conveys the atmosphere of the event and your genuine interest in the topic, adding a personal touch to the story.

The inclusion of details, such as the overpowering bass in the microphone and the specific examples of music production, enriches the storytelling and provides context for the reader. Your observations about the power struggles in the production room and your attempt to engage with the person directly connected to Rick Rubin demonstrate a thoughtful and engaged audience member.

Moreover, the resolution of the story, where you confirm the accuracy of your statement with the individual who worked with Rick Rubin, adds a satisfying conclusion. The final moment of understanding between you and the presenter who acknowledged your correctness adds a positive twist, showcasing the value of accurate information and acknowledging the importance of letting go of unnecessary conflicts.

Your writing effectively communicates your feelings and thoughts, making the reader empathize with your experience. If you were looking to improve or modify anything, you might consider emphasizing even more the positive outcome at the end, highlighting the mutual understanding and respect that emerged despite the initial contradiction.

You

can you suggest a an opening line from a book or poem that might be used to introduce this pieceChatGPT

ChatGPT

Certainly! Here's a suggestion for an opening line that could set the tone for your piece:

"In the hum of a crowded room, where the bass in the microphone threatened to drown the echoes of musical history, I found myself immersed in a tale of contradiction and revelation."

You

I like it but I'm looking for the first line of a famous book or poem that I could useChatGPT

ChatGPT

Certainly! How about adapting the famous opening line of Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" for your piece:

"Happy experiences are all alike; every frustrating encounter, however, is frustrating in its own way."

You

close but can we try something straight up without paraphraseChatGPT

ChatGPT

Certainly! How about borrowing the opening line from George Orwell's "1984" and adapting it for your piece:

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the bass in the microphone was so overpowering that it threatened to drown the voices recounting the history of recording studios in North Carolina."

You

[coping-mental-health]

News-Medical.Net: Lonely people process the world differently, study finds

people who are not lonely are all alike, but every lonely person processes the world in their own, idiosyncratic way.

[maddipoof]

There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time 🪷- Character pairing, tell me somethings about yourself and pick a fandom and gender preference and I’ll ship you with someone <3

Male preference and marauders or stranger things please!

I'm fairly introverted and it takes me a while to warm up to people. I love reading, my room is filled with stacks of books. I especially enjoy true crime, poetry and Russian literature! I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, pulling harmless pranks, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything. I love helping out and people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'd consider myself really smart and I'm very ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I daydream a lot and I'm a hopeless romantic! I enjoy all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! My love languages are acts of service and quality time. I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats and I love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down! I'm an infp, taurus sun, gemini moon and scorpio rising!

Congrats on 100 followers!! I love your celebration theme so much, Jane austen is the best <3 <3

Up until 5'9 I was like, Is this a prank, why are you describing me??? I love russian classics, so so much, wait what's your favorite? Mine's Anna Karenina and also once I almost cried because I couldn't find a good translation of Doctor Zhivago (I have a lot of feelings).

I'm gonna saaayyyyy Sirius Black

I know Remus is usually the one for the reading but everything else screams Sirius, so the books are no red herring. I think he's a casual reader, not quite a bookworm like you but still enjoys it when he has the time. I've said it before and I'm gonna say it to every bookworm that comes into my inbox, BOOK STORE DATES!!! He's estranged, sure, but he's still a rich boy and what better finger to give his parents than spending their money on the love of his life. You know what he'd do? He would find you that limited edition Doctor Zhivago or that extremely limited collection of poetry you looked at a little too long when you passed the shop's window. Whatever you wanted, you don't even have to ask, he is not helping the overexpansion of your to-be-read list. And if you're a stickler for the translations and original prose like I am, then he'd absolutely figure out a spell for you to be able to read it with its original integrity.

From what I've seen, and what I feel in my heart of hearts, he's an ENFP, soooo you're similar in all the ways that count but he helps bring you out of your shell sometimes and also he waited for you to open up to him. Once you got closer, he started flirting with you, sort of subtly, then just out right. He asked you out by planning a prank on you with the other boys, they're your biggest fangirls and had been rooting for you to get together for ages, not their prankiest prank by far but they decided that Sirius would distract you by discussing the moral implications of non-verbal spells in magical dueling, which somehow, fittingly, made its way to the morality of love spells and right as Remus and James are about to pull it, he says something along the lines of "With you I'd never need one." And just as you're about to ask whatever that means, Remus and James drop a bag of flour over your head, by way of magic. So you turn around to yell at them BUT then while you're doing that, they tell you to spin around because you haven't noticed that the flour has turned into actual flowers, because Sirius used a spell (that he'd been practicing for weeks with McGonagall, because she was also rooting for you two. Making sure they didn't turn into roses was a bear but he didn't want any thorns to get you). THEN, you turn around and there he is, with your favorite flower in hand, and he finally finally asks you to go out with him.

He love love loves when he gets drawings and paintings from you, whatever your latest creative endeavor is, he's all for it.

And if you do end up daydreaming in class, he takes extra detailed notes for you, since he knows how much you value doing well.

He absolutely lets you steal his sweaters, everytime he sees you in a white button down he conveniently leaves one out for you. And he's enamoured with your style but on the occasion that you do wear a dress or something different, he gets so excited because *Aahhh something new!!!!!*

I feel like I should add something else but I don't know what to say

I hope you liked it <3<3<3

✨💖✨💖✨

[keywestlou]

THE EYES HAVE IT

THE EYES HAVE IT - https://keywestlou.com/the-eyes-have-it/A touching phrase by one of the greatest authors of all time Leo Tolstoy: "But their eyes when they met spoke fondly and kissed tenderly." Few authors have been held in higher esteem. Tolstoy was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature five times, the Nobel Peace Prize three times. Ironically, he never won. His more significant works included War and Peace and Anna Karenina. Beautiful writings. Beauty is found in many forms. Art, for example. Michelangelo a Tolstoy equal. Today a significant one in Michelangelo history. It was on this day in 1512 the Sistine Chapel ceiling was opened to the public. One of Michelangelo's finest, if not his finest, works. I have had the good fortune to view the ceiling on two occasions. An experience. Truly God in His Heaven. It took Michelangelo several years to complete the ceiling. A series of panels. Nine are devoted to Biblical history. The most famous is The Creation of Adam. The arms of God and Adam stretching toward each other. Fingers reaching to touch. I am going to stick my neck out. I'm probably wrong. However, my gut suggests otherwise. I think the political polls are out of line. Most elections are not close. Actually, the Democratic candidates will win a significant number by more than a hair. How can candidates like Walker, Oz and Vance win? Doesn't make sense. Something makes me believe Republican money controls the polls and has been dictating erroneous results this year. In the hope of subconsciously swaying the minds of voters. I will eat humble pie when it turns out I am wrong. Steve Thompson a lucky man. He lived in Key West through the exciting 1970's and 1980's . Knew everyone and everything. Richard Hatch, for example. Hatch responsible for Blue Heaven and Salute as we know them. When I met Richard Hatch he seemed serious, and articulate, but still jolly. He lived in the back of my house and drove a Trolly. I was surprised when he bought Blue Heaven and started to run it. Without restaurant experience, how could he have done it? His brother showed up who had been to Chefs school. From that day on, everything was cool. They opened Salute on the beach with a parking lot. It seemed everything was better the bigger they got. Now they have their own farm and grow their own food. Richard has always been a nice guy and a successful dude. He said his good friend Kevin from Margaritaville helped him a lot. All of his places climbed right to the top. He and his wife ran the farm and restaurants too. They also raised a family, what else can they do? Biden nailed the gas companies yesterday. Someone did in Citizens' Voice this morning: "I drive up and down the Keys. Gas prices are 60-80 cents cheaper in Key Largo than in Key West. This is not right and seems like price gouging, and something needs to be done. Come on gas station owners, do what is right for the community!" DeSantis is silent when it comes to anti-Semitism. He knows leading the party means not offending the anti-Semites and racists of the Republican base. Smart politics. Reflects poor character, however. It is that poor character that made it possible for Crist to make a fool out of DeSantis in the debate the other evening. Be well.    

[utilitycaster]

Oh man, now I'm DYING to see your perspective about the High Richter Heist incident and the convo the Nein had in the tavern afterwards. There was soooo much fandom angst over that. 🤣

You know, that's interesting on a couple levels because I did not realize there was that much fandom angst and also I had to look up the tavern conversation in the transcripts because I honestly couldn't remember it. Like, again, wasn't really in the online fandom yet, but I don't remember this feeling blown out of proportion on Talks the way I did bowlgate so I don't have much of a take on the fandom response itself. I think that's for a couple of reasons:

1. I think this was a much more confrontational scene with a much more physical threat that wasn't really resolved then and there (it was, much later on) and therefore it's a little more justified that people would react.

2. This happened earlier on in the campaign and we knew even less about the two characters at that time so it was much more speculative.

3. The Zauberspire was attacked immediately after and they found a Kyrn warrior in the sewers so like, there was other stuff to talk about on Talks.

4. I made a post...last week I think (time is a weird soup) about how, for no apparent reason, Liam seems to attract people who either HATE his characters (and sometimes him) or people who think his characters (and sometimes him) can do absolutely no wrong ever and both of those sides will come up with wild-ass conspiracies that ignore, you know, canon. The same is true to a slightly lesser degree for Marisha and her characters, and it is not, as far as I have seen, true for any other cast members, and I do not know why this is but I give all those people a wide berth because all of them on both sides have terrible nonsense meta to justify their nonsense, creep me out with their utter lack of parasocial boundaries, or both. Which is to say Beau and Caleb interactions blew up in ways others didn't, I think, because of that.

Anyway, all that aside Fjord was at least mostly in the right, and Caleb said as much later.

To give the summary for anyone who's read this far going "what the fuck are you talking about": during the theft of the High Richter's mansion, Caleb went to steal a scroll and Fjord summoned his sword, telling Caleb to leave no trace. Nott then pulled her crossbow on Fjord, who started getting ready to cast Eldritch Blast, but then the High Richter came back, Ulog used the bead of fireball taking out him and the High Richter, the towers got attacked, and so the whole situation did not so much as resolve as got interrupted by like 5 things. Also it didn't matter than the scroll was missing because the High Richter was dead.

Then, in the next episode, after the party had escaped, seen the towers, had their encounter with the Kryn soldier, stolen the beacon, dealt with Dolan and Horris, and Caleb chose to spend the night in the basement of the Leaky Tap guarding the beacon, at which point the party had a discussion with Nott about Caleb's choice to steal.

Fjord, Molly, and Beau all agreed that Caleb and Nott were in the wrong - that stealing a scroll was an extra clue that could have put them in danger, and in fact did delay their exit. (Jester was pretty neutral on the whole thing, in that she both trusted Caleb and Nott but also felt hurt by a lot of what Nott said in response).

It's again a choice that makes sense for all the characters! Fjord, Molly, and Beau all had pretty strong beliefs regarding sticking by your crew, and Caleb and Nott at the time were pretty sketchy! Fjord was definitely very aggressive, but it was an extremely time-sensitive situation (ie, you can't take 10 minutes to hash this out mid-heist) and being very aggressive was a flaw Fjord had earlier in the same way Caleb was sketchy. Both had control issues and were secretive and chronic liars, and I think both of them realized their similarities early on but weren't able to talk through it in a healthy manner for a long time. Meanwhile, of course the chronically broke wizard whose only goal at the time was to learn to bend reality is going to steal any spell scrolls he can find and damn the consequences. Like, when I say Fjord was in the right I do mean in that context he was looking out for the group and sticking to the plan, and Caleb was endangering the others, but also I can't fault either of them for acting the way they did.

I feel that this didn't come up so much in fandom later because it got addressed very directly with the characters, both during the heist in Uthodurn and on the boat after the party in Nicodranas, in which Fjord admitted to his control issues and Caleb to his untrustworthiness.

But like, again...if someone cannot comprehend that characters in a show might sometimes disagree in ways that would not be used as a good example of behavior on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, they should probably not be watching a genre that is known for like, tons of violence. "Can't we all just get along" is a nice sentiment in real life, but man does it make for terrible TV.

[thequibblah]

thanks for the tag, @cesays​ and @maraudersftw​, this is so entertaining! i’m going off most recently updated because i’m too lazy to put this chronologically, and skipping the ones i feel like don’t count 

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some people to take part.

1. “December at Hogwarts: holly was curling its way across suits of armour, frost pinching at students’ faces in the courtyards, but still no real snow.” —as it is i’ll dream of her tonight

2. “The Scottish air was still thick with summer, but as students swarmed Hogsmeade station Lily Evans could detect the slightest hint of crispness in the air.” —Come Together

3. “Severus Snape really, really wanted to be in Slytherin.”  —tell me where your secrets lie

4. “All bad movies are messy, James has found, but all good movies are messy in fascinatingly different ways.” —walking with you in the sunshine

5. “Maybe if Hortensia Hill didn’t spill her coffee all over Richard Bones’s finely-tailored new robes that morning, none of it would’ve happened this way.” —put a bow on it

6. “He leaves, sometimes.” —If We Ever Part

7. “Since the night I met Lily Evans, there’s been very little peace in my life.” —no regrets, coyote

8. “In the beginning, she made something of a mistake.” —in pursuit of the study of magic

9. “‘I love you,’” Lily says, quietly.” —If We Never Meet Again

10. “‘Hi,’ he starts when she opens the door, and that’s about all he can get out before she’s yanked him inside by his shirt collar, her mouth finding his unerringly.” —what we do in secret

11. “It’s twilight, and it’s nearly midnight.” —even just to reach is a triumph

12. “When she spots him, Lily lets her eyes go wide; she throws a panicked glance over her shoulder.” —(try to walk away but) i come back to the start

13. “I’m not one to follow up training with a night in the pub.” —wild things run fast

14. “James looks at Lily looking at the car.” —blink three times

15. “It’s late.” —’Tis the Fucking Season (LOL)

OK i’ll stop there hahaha but this is such a funnily obvious pattern — i almost always start with a line that establishes the premise or the setting of the story, like i’m writing a mf introduction ;__; i like starting with a surprise, like with iwnma or wwdis, and i fucking LOOOVE a cutesy run on like put a bow on it. 

my favourites from this are probably iwnma because it’s so juicy, or wwyits — that one’s a paraphrase of the first line of anna karenina: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

tagging @clare-with-no-i @efkgirldetective @theesteemedladydebourgh @isahorcrux and anyone else who hasn’t done this yet!!!

[thesweatycollectiontyrant]

Anna Karenina

The show that I’ve always wanted to listen to because of its amount of legit repertoire, but have never had the time to. Now is the time.

It's been two and a half years since I went through a show this way. I graduated from college a week ago tomorrow, and I am finding time to do my favorite things again. It's been such a fun time reflecting on my time at university. I'm grateful.

Background Info

Anna Karenina ran at Circle in the Square in the early 1990s. It wasn’t largely successful from what I understand. It is based on the Tolstoy novel of the same name. There was no cast recording for the musical until 2007, when an absolutely crazytown (my favorite term for TALENTED) group of people recorded it for posterity! Wait until you hear these names.

Writers

Music for Anna Karenina was written by Daniel Levine, who received a Tony nomination for Best Original Score for his work on the show. Peter Kellogg wrote the book and the lyrics.

I’ve been through hell and high waters trying to get a legible and complete score for this show, so we shall see how this goes.

Character List

COUNT ALEXIS VRONSKY (Baritone) - Anna's lover, a cavalry officer.

ANNA KARENINA (Soprano) - Oblonsky's sister, Karenin's wife, and Vronsky's lover. A woman who is unhappy in her marriage and searching for fulfillment in her own way.

CONSTANTIN LEVIN (Tenor) - Kitty's suitor, Stiva's old friend, certified nervous wreck.

PRINCE STEVEN OBLONSKY (Baritone) - Civil servant, Anna's brother, and man about town.

PRINCESS KITTY SCHERBATSKY (Mezzo-Soprano) - Sister-in-law to Oblonsky, pursued by Levin. Bubbly and fun.

NICOLAI KARENIN (Bass) - Senior statesman and Anna's husband, twenty years her senior.

Who’s Singing?

As I mentioned above, there was a studio cast recording that happened in 2007. It has an all-star cast, including Brian d’Arcy James as Vronsky, Melissa Errico as Anna, Gregg Edelman as Levin, Marc Kudisch as Oblonsky, Kerry Butler as Kitty, and Jeff McCarthy as Karenin. This is such a group of amazing singers and actors, especially the four men. I’m very excited to dig into this show.

Let’s Do This

In the cast album, we begin with “Journey to Moscow.” The interweaving eighth notes remind me of Anastasia. The 3+3+2 accent pattern begins as the ensemble and principals begin to sing about being on the train and all of their personal problems that will be fixed by being on the train…? I love that each of the principals get a little moment of solo line throughout. Not the most dramatically exciting opening number, but the rhythmic pulse in the music does a good job compensating for it. I do love the end, especially the piano swell.

Anna and Oblonsky sing a duet called “There’s More to Life Than Love,” filled with witty conversation. Anna is trying to tell Oblonsky that there is more to life than love (as if you didn’t get that from the title) and she is telling him this by bringing up other topics, hobbies, and humanities, however for everything she brings up, he counteracts with its connection to love. It’s written as a waltz. Marc Kudisch does such a fun job of coloring all of his comebacks. I love how Melissa Errico so casually throws her soprano up into the stratosphere out of nowhere. I especially love the very end where you think it’s going to be a big finish, but Oblonsky so quickly and quietly spits out the last lines, saying “But who cares?”

Kerry Butler enters the picture as Kitty with her solo “How Awful.” As she always is, she is earnest and hilarious. This is a fun range-y song for a mixer looking for something that is funny, but not well known. The beats are fun to play, the melody is challenging and fun to sing as well. Kerry Butler sings the role with a lot of charm.

“Would You” introduces us to Levin, who when asked how long he’d be in Moscow replies with a marriage proposal. I am beyond utterly obsessed with this song. The energy is so exciting, and the odd time signature makes it all feel a little disjunct and scared and anxious and excited. Lovely singing from Gregg Edelman!

There’s a conversation piece (Wonderful Town, anyone?) number for Kitty, Anna, Levin and Vronsky called “In a Room.” They sing individually, voicing their thoughts while the others chatter (perhaps?) I was more focused on following along in the music because the copy I have has the song, but it may as well be a completely different piece by a completely different composer for a completely different musical. It’s cute. Not very memorable.

Anna has her first solo with “Nothing Has Changed.” She lists the things she finds similar compared to the last time she was here. Levine’s harmony in this song is really remarkable. There is a constant churning with both the mode used for this piece, and also the extra notes in the chords. The suspensions added to the root position chords are impossible to miss. This song is really stunning musically. Dramatically, it’s one of those songs that tries to make something bigger out of ending exactly where the character began. Oops.

In “I Shall Work,” Levin sings about how he will become a learned man in order to ignore the romantic feelings he has for Kitty. The song reminds me a bit of Henrik from A Little Night Music. It’s got a solid high note at the end too.

“How Many Men” is where Kitty wonders how many romantic trysts she’ll have to go on before she can meet “the one.” Kerry Butler takes every opportunity to make this fun, and she succeeds. In a waltz, she allows the melody and music to accompany the dramatics of the song. This is a great audition song that no one does!

In his first solo “We Were Dancing,” Vronsky sings, presumably to Anna, as they dance. Another solo that I don’t have music for, but it’s beautiful. It reminds me of Anastasia yet again. Brian d’Arcy James keeps the material interesting.

Jeff McCarthy, everyone’s favorite officer (Lockstock) comes in as Karenin. His solo “Karenin’s List” begins with a fiery recitative. He jumps into the song proper and plots what he will say to his wife. The melody twists and turns around the scale as he maneuvers his brain through the possibilities of what to do here. McCarthy has always had a sort of operatic sound to his voice. It never ceases to amaze me. His sound has always been so remarkable for every show he’s been in. So many of these songs would work so well in an audition setting. It reminds me of She Loves Me because of the amount of solos!

Anna has another solo called “I’m Lost.” She realizes where she is in her relationship with her husband and where she is in her relationship with Vronsky. A woman discontented, she sings to herself “on the way home” according to Wikipedia. Not a big fan of the lyric “So lost, and I don’t even want to be found!” It’s giving the reaction that 8-year-olds have when they hear “you’re grounded give me your phone and go to your room” instead of “Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair?”

In the Act I Finale, “Waiting for You,” Anna and Vronsky finally have a love duet. This music is soul-stirring, and beautifully lush. Perhaps the music didn’t work its charm until the two lovers were able to embrace their love for each other. Oops. Again. Stunning vocal performances from both Errico and d’Arcy James. 

Act II starts with “This Can’t Go On.” It is an operatic trio between Anna, Vronsky, and Karenin where the three individually lament their situations. Anna asks Karenin for a divorce and reveals that she is pregnant. The harmony swells and surges. It reminds me of the “Storm” from The Secret Garden. The stakes are HIGH at the top of Act II, people! At least no one’s singing about a train anymore.

It seems that Levin’s heart has been broken in “That Will Serve Her Right.” Rather than feeling bad, he feels rage - makes for a much more interesting song. Edelman does a good job as he reprises his role from Broadway fifteen years prior. The resolution is so apparent in his voice!

Anna and Vronsky sing a duet called “Everything’s Fine.” I’m thinking about the structure of the story and I don’t see how many of these songs function in the narrative. I hunted for a script, but I couldn’t find one. Both Errico and d’Arcy James sound incredible on this music.

Anna and Kitty have their duet with “I Never Dreamed” where they both look forward to marriage, Kitty with Levin and Anna with Vronsky.

Karenin gets the eleven o’clock slot with “Only at Night.” He sings that he misses Anna, but only at night. There’s an incredible bridge here that could work so well in a cut. McCarthy is simply masterful. In this role, it reminds me of when he was in Side Show as Terry Connor.

As she denies her son, realizing that he is better off without her, Anna goes to railroad tracks and stands in front of a train in “Seryozha.” It is a hauntingly beautiful finale into a lovely “Epilogue.”

Audition Songs

There are so many solos in this show!

“How Awful” - Princess Kitty Scherbatsky, C4-F5

There is a fun, tantrum-like energy to this song. It would work for younger roles really well.

“Would You?” - Constantin Levin, C3-B4

This song is perfect for a role like Laurie from Little Women. There’s such an excited and nervous energy here. It bubbles through the accompaniment and the irregular time, and it is a fun challenge in musicianship and acting.

“Nothing Has Changed” - Anna Karenina, G3-D5

This song has a lot of beauty musically. The only problem is that, just like the title, nothing changes. It is up to the actor to choose a good and interesting cut because the music is really incredible.

“I Shall Work” - Constantin Levin, D3-B4

This time, the B is not sustained, but it is full voice. The A right beneath it is sustained right before it! This one seems like a lot of fun to act and sing. Complete devotion to someone. There are a few roles that this would be really good for. I said earlier that this reminds me of Henrik in A Little Night Music. Certainly, use it for that.

“How Many Men” - Princess Kitty Scherbatsky, A3-G5

This song has Kristin Chenoweth’s style written all over it, especially the early roles of her career. Glinda, Sally, Precious, all of them! Put it in your books!

“Karenin’s List” - Nicolai Karenin, A#2-F4

Great for a bass-baritone. There are moments of patter, but it isn’t frenzied - it is metered, it is precise, and it is premeditated. The F isn’t sustained, just tapped a couple of times.

“That Will Serve Her Right” - Constantin Levin, G2-E4

The music I have has the range listed above. The version that Gregg Edelman sings on the studio cast recording is very different. The pitches, rhythms, and many lyrics are changed.

“Only At Night” - Nicolai Karenin, Bb2-Eb4

This song is hauntingly beautiful. It lingers. The key that Jeff McCarthy sings it in is lower than the music I have.

To Wrap It Up

I didn’t see this show as one that would astound me. It didn’t flop, but it didn’t remain particularly noteworthy after its closing. Another sign is that there is no way to license the show. The good thing is that there is a lot of really good material for singers who want to explore more of a legit sound in their singing. I really like the role of Levin!

Thanks for reading!

[feralthoughtdump]

Arsonist’s Lullaby

Part One: Kiss With A Fist

Part Two: Only Angel

Bucky and his Angel’s relationship grow closer. 

Word Count: 6.8K

CW: violence, Bucky and his nightmares, John Walker being an ass, a little bit of fluff, smut, brief shower sex, Bucky steps on the reader with his boots, spitting, choking, spanking, Bucky using his metal arm, crying, FATWS ep. 3&4 spoilers

The cold air of the cargo container was strange, given that they were in a southeast Asian island. It sent a chill down Angel’s spine. Like something would go very wrong. They survey the empty space, searching for Nagel.

Sharon was certain Nagel was here, but there was no sight of him.

But Angel could hear the slight vibrations of music coming from… somewhere. 

She approaches the back of the container and feels around the rough metal wall. 

“Hey, I think he may be in here.” She beckons them over. 

Pressing a gloved hand onto the metal, she pushed, revealing a small laboratory in front of them. 

“You three go ahead.” She mutters. “I’ll keep an eye out with Sharon.”

Before they can say anything, she strides out of the container.

“You don’t need to worry about them.” Sharon crosses her arms as the door closes. “I know them well. They can hold their own.” 

“Oh, I know.” Angel chuckles. 

“Bucky likes to call you Angel, huh. Seems like you two bonded pretty quickly.”

She gives Sharon a humored look as they stroll around the dock.

“I thought psychopaths couldn’t form bonds.”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

Their eyes dart all over the place, looking for any oncoming bounty hunters. 

“How’d you get my photo anyways?” 

“Heavy analysis of CCTV footage, a few phone calls, and a lot of digging. The photo was shit quality, but it was enough for me to go off of.”

“Was it enough to catch me?”

“I guess so. Then Zemo blew up the UN so we tabled the case.”

“Interesting. Maybe that UN bombing was a blessing in disguise. Saved me a life sentence in a high-security prison.”

They turned a corner.

“You wouldn’t have gone to jail. MI6 would’ve given you a job instead.” 

“Hmph. I’d rather die than be a servant.”

From the corner of her eye, Angel spots a passing black shadow. 

“Guys,” she presses a finger onto her earpiece. “Someone’s here.” 

A gunshot rings out from the container and the hairs on the back of her neck stand. Sharon gives her a knowing look and they turn the safety off of their guns. 

“Here.” Angel whispers, handing Sharon a knife. “It’ll come in handy.” 

Three bounty hunters transverse on them and they open fire, taking them down one by one. 

“We don’t have much time, hurry up!” Sharon yells into the earpiece. 

A bounty hunter wraps their arms around Angel and she grabs a knife, jamming it into their arm. 

Adrenaline floods her system, dialing her senses up to ten. A swift roundhouse kick sends another hunter tumbling to the ground. 

From behind her, she hears Sam and Bucky yelling and she runs towards them. 

“It’s in every action movie!” She hears Sam yell.

If her life wasn’t on the line, she would’ve laughed. 

“You okay?” She pants.

“No! We’re not!” Sam yells. “Zemo shot Nagel!”

“What? Where is he?”

Her question was answered when a container set fire and exploded. She spots Zemo standing atop another, donning a purple mask. Before she can point him out, he sprints away. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

Gunshots ring from her right and Bucky wraps a protective arm around her. In her peripheral she sees a bounty hunter riding towards her on a motorcycle, guns blazing. She quickly wriggles out of Bucky’s grasp and sends a knife into the tire, throwing the hunter off of the vehicle and into the fire. 

“Good aim.” He says, mouth agape in surprise.

“You just threw that dude into a fire!” Sam exclaims.

“Yeah, well, he was going to kill us.” 

 They continue to run through the maze of crates, turning corner after corner, dodging bullet after bullet.

As much as he hates to admit it, the sight of Angel in action, when her violence wasn’t directed towards him, sends a rush through his system. 

Zemo speeds towards them in a convertible, signaling them to get in. Sam jumps in the passenger seat while Bucky and Angel sit in the back. 

Her pupils are blown wide and Bucky swears he can feel the electricity radiating off of her. Without stopping to calm down, he grabs her face in his hand and presses a passionate kiss on her lips.

His heart skips a beat when she kisses him back, and in the corner of his eye, he spots Sharon giving either him or Angel, a thumbs up.

… 

Bucky makes it a habit to call her Angel all the time. He likes the way it slips off his tongue. He likes the way her eyes seem to glimmer when he calls her that. It’s as if the more he calls her Angel, she seems to glow more and more. 

He calls her Angel when they board the jet on the way to Latvia.

He calls her Angel when she sits down to change the gauze on her thigh.

He calls her Angel when they get to the Riga safe house. 

The more time he spends with her, the more he notices the little things about her. He notices how her tongue sticks out a little when she does her eye makeup.

He notices how her head would bop along to music in her earbuds

He notices how she’ll curl up on the couch, tucking her knees close to her body, while she sketches.

He notices how she’ll mutter curses in different languages. Mandarin, French, Russian, Spanish just to name a few. 

He notices how she took off her jewelry when she showers with the exception of a gold chain. A gold chain with a dangling pendant. A pendant of a little angel.

He notices how she uses apple cinnamon body wash. It made her smell warm. It made her smell like home. 

She gets along with Sam. Even Zemo. 

She talks about philosophy with Zemo and when she converses with Sam, they talk about music.

She’s a force to be reckoned with. Fiery. Just like Selby had said. A firebird. 

And despite her cool, hardened front, there was a gentleness to her.

The jet had touched down in Latvia late and night and they collectively decided to get a good night’s rest before finding Karli. 

He had woken up from a nightmare. Reliving the memory of killing Yori’s son. 

He didn’t know what compelled him to do it, but he padded over to Angel, reading Anna Karenina. Glasses perched on her nose, hair loose and resting past her shoulders. 

She looks up at him.

“Nightmare?”

Bucky nods, tears pricking are his eyes.

She places the book on the floor and stretches out on the couch.

“Come here.” She whispers arms open wider

She let him lay his head on her chest, nose pressed against her sternum. With gentle hands, she runs her fingers through his hair, slowing his rapid heartbeat. 

The serum had made his hearing sharper and from his position between her breasts, he could hear the soft thumping of her heart. It calmed him. 

“Can you sing to me?” He mumbles.

The hand playing with his hair stops.

“Sing to you?” She asks.

“Mhm.”

“I-“ she pauses “I don’t really-“

“Please.” He begs. 

She’s quiet, just calmly stroking his hair, then she sighs.

“What do you want me to sing?”

“Anything. Just… please, I want you to sing for me.”

She ponders for a moment before she parts her lips, voice shaky and quiet. 

When I was a child, I heard voices

Some would sing and some would scream

You soon find you have few choices

I learned the voices died with me

He closes his eyes and noses at her sternum. 

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours

Staring into open flame

Something in it had a power

Could barely tear my eyes away

The song is unfamiliar. He didn’t listen to music all that much anymore. And even when he listens to music, it was mostly from the 40s.

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach 

Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash

Her voice, still soft and quiet, is haunting. The way it wraps around the lyrics, warms his heart. He breathes in the smell of her apple cinnamon body wash. 

When I was 16, my senses fooled me

Thought gasoline was on my clothes

I knew that something would always rule me

I knew the scent was mine alone

He loves the way he can feel her chest move up and down. The way her voice sounds so rich with his ear pressed against her chest, the music echoing within her ribs.

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don't you ever tame your demons 

But always keep 'em on a leash

He reaches his hand to play with the angel pendant on her necklace. Finger running over the grooves. 

When I was a man I thought it ended

When I knew love's perfect ache

But my peace has always depended

On all the ashes in my wake

As he drifts off to sleep, he can hear the last lines of the song lingering on her lips. The images from war. The torture he endured, the people he’s killed, the amends he has yet to make, all temporarily fade from his mind. 

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash

And for the first time since Steve left, Bucky was able to sleep without disturbance.

… 

“You have a lovely voice.” 

Angel was pulled from her sleep when she hears Zemo’s voice. 

She glares at him and places a finger on her lips, shushing him. Bucky was still lying on top of her, still asleep and she didn’t want to wake him. 

“My apologies.” He smiles. 

“Were you watching us last night?” She interrogates quietly. 

“No, but I do have a keen sense of hearing. I heard you singing to James.” 

She turns her head to meet his eyes. 

“He had a nightmare. It was the least I could do for him.” 

“Understandable.” He nods. “My son used to have nightmares and my wife’s voice was the only thing that could put him to sleep.” 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles sympathetically. “About your family, I mean. I know you lost them a while ago.” 

Her hand combs through Bucky’s hair. 

“I understand how vengeance and anger overtook you. You needed your revenge. But don’t hurt him.”

“Hurt who? James?”

“Yes.” Her voice darkens. “If you lay a finger on him, I won’t hesitate to bury you.”

Zemo sighs. 

“I have no intention of harming him. I see the way you look at him. It’s the same look I used to give my wife. You care for him dearly and given your line of work, I know you’d do anything to avenge the people who harm the ones you love.” He walks towards her and offers her a cookie. Angel takes it with a wary hand. 

“You’ve got anything else you want to say?”

“I do have a question about that song. I knew that something would always rule me.” He quotes. “Was that about yourself, or James?” 

She narrows her eyes. 

“It was just a song.” 

“Yet it implies that something will always have power, control, over the songwriter.” He tilts his head. 

“What are you implying, Baron?”

“It’s not an implication. It’s an observation. You two share a common trait. For James, it’s his past. His time as the Winter Soldier looms over him. As for you, you seem to have this, how do I say it, a compulsion to kill. It will always stick to you.”

“Baron, I suggest you pick your next words very carefully.” 

Bucky stirs and she lifts her hand from his head.

“Mmm. Good morning.” He mumbles, voice rough and heavy. 

“Good morning to you too sleepyhead.” She coos, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mhm.” He hums.

She gives Zemo a look that says ‘get out.’

Zemo gives her a smirk and walks away, leaving the two of them alone.

Bucky opens his eyes and Angel can feel her heart melt. He balances himself on his arm to press a kiss to her nose.

“You look cute with bed head.” He chuckles. “So pretty. I could just eat you up.” 

“You look quite pretty when you sleep.” She giggles and rubs her nose against his. 

He places his head back on her chest and they lie there for a while, listening to the sounds of the city. 

Finally, she sighs. 

“Alright, Bucky, I’m gonna go take a shower.”

He whines and wraps his arms around her.

“No, stay.”

“Bucky,” she says sternly, “I have to wash my hair, let go.”

With a huff, he sits up and lets her get off of the couch. As she stands she turns around spotting Bucky, arms crossed and a pout on his face. 

“I never said you couldn’t join.” 

Bucky jumps up and runs to her. He places his hands on her waist and turns her around, pressing a kiss to her lips. She links her fingers with his and he follows behind her towards the bathroom. 

While they wait for the water to heat up, she reaches into her bag to pull out bottles of product. 

He spots the shimmering bottle of apple cinnamon body wash and smiles. 

“Apple cinnamon body wash.” He notes.

“Mhm. It's inexpensive but it smells nice.”

“It does.” 

She places her hand under the stream of water and gets a feel for the temperature. The water is hot, just how she likes it. Her hands pull the t-shirt over her head and then her cotton underwear. 

Bucky waits for her to step into the shower before he strips down and joins her. 

A content smile crosses her face when the hot water hits her body but her peace is broken when she hears Bucky yelp. 

“Why is the water so hot?” 

“I like it hot.” She turns to face him and playfully pokes at his navel. “It’s relaxing.”

“You’re going to boil me alive.” He grumbles. 

“If you don’t like the hot water,” She bluntly states, “then get out.” 

She shampoos her hair, letting the bubbles froth around her fingers, and then she pours a bit into her hand and reaches up to massage it into Bucky’s hair. 

He runs a metal finger down her sternum, collecting a bit of the bubbles that run down her body. When his finger reaches her scar, his touch lingers. 

Seeing the guilt in his eyes, Angel places a finger underneath his chin and has him look into her eyes instead.

“Don’t.” She murmurs. “You’ll only torture yourself reminiscing on the past.” She pulls him under the stream, letting the water wash away the shampoo in their hair. 

She’s got a meticulous shower routine, one that she likes to perform herself, yet she’s okay with Bucky standing next to her. When she combs the conditioner through her hair, she does the same for Bucky, knowing it would soften his hair even more and make it smell like vanilla and pomegranate. 

She places a bit of the apple cinnamon body wash in her hands and rubs it onto his body. Her hands pay extra attention to the scar on his shoulder. 

“It’s got vitamin E in it. Helps with scars.” 

Bucky turns her around, making her face away from him.

She can’t see exactly what he’s doing, but she hums with relaxation when she feels his strong hands rub the body wash into her skin.

“You’ve got some knots in your shoulders.” He notes.

“I’m aware of that.”

“You’re stressed.”

“I am.” 

When the water washes away the body wash, the shower is filled with the scent of apple cinnamon. 

She’s surprised when she feels a kiss on the back of her shoulder but nevertheless, she enjoys it.

Bucky presses another kiss in the center of her shoulders and kisses her along the line of her back. He sinks to his knees and places a kiss onto the dimples of her back. 

“Buck, what are you doing?” She smirks, turning around. 

“I just wanna love on you.” He murmurs against her skin. “Can I?”

She blinks owlishly, then slowly nods her head. 

“Y-yeah” she breathes. 

Bucky places a kiss on her scar and runs his tongue over it, sending a fire through her. 

“Open your legs for me, doll.” 

She shyly parts her legs and Bucky smiles up at her.

He grabs her waist,  hoisting her knees over his shoulders, pressing her back against the wall. 

She lets out gaspy whines when he kisses and nips at her thighs, letting his stubble rub against the sensitive skin.

“Bucky,” she whimpers “we- we’re going to waste water.”

“Don’t worry about that, doll.” He murmurs. “Just let me make you feel good.” 

He licks a stripe up her folds, causing her to gasp. She grabs onto his hair, pulling him closer. 

“So sweet, baby. You taste so sweet.” 

She doesn’t reply. She couldn’t. Not when he was making her feel so good. 

She slaps her other hand onto the wall, trying to hold herself up. Bucky tightens his grip on her and leans in closer, continuously licking into her, making her head spin. 

She tries to say something, tell him she’s close, tell him she’s going to cum quicker than she thought, but the only sounds that leave her mouth are breathy moans. 

When he pulls away, she whines. He gives her a cocky grin. 

“Wanna cum?”

She vigorously nods her head. 

“That’s a shame.” He lets go of her legs, almost dropping her onto the tile, and wraps an arm around her waist to keep her steady. “We’ve got a big day ahead.” His tone is teasing, almost mean. “I’ll let you cum later.” 

She’s left on the edge, and she’s angry. No, not angry. Frustrated. Frustrated and desperate. 

“You’re mean.” She grumbles, shutting off the water. 

“If you give me attitude, I won’t let you cum at all.” He chuckles. 

She pushes him away and wraps a towel around her body. 

“I don’t need you to cum anyways.” She grumbles under her breath. 

As she walks away, he grabs her by the back of her neck and pulls her into his chest.

“If I were you,” He lowers his lips to her ear, “I’d behave. Now,” he releases his grip and gives her ass a smack. “Get dressed, we’ve got a lot to do today.” 

She digs through her duffel to find a simple red jumpsuit. The neckline is low enough to be teasing, but it had enough support and pockets to be practical. 

“Sounds like someone had a good morning.”

She turns around, a big grin stretching across her face when she sees Sam. 

“Sam! Good morning!” She cheers. 

“No need to good morning me when I woke up to the sound of fucking.” he grumbles, annoyance in his voice. 

She chuckles as she buttons the front of her jumpsuit. 

“So, Bucky tells me we have a lot going on today. What’s on the itinerary?”

“Hopefully, we can track down Karli and convince her to stop. At least that’s my plan.” 

“Sounds good.” 

He grabs his jacket from the chair. “I’m headed out to get something to eat. Do you want anything?” 

“I’m okay.” She smiles at him. “Thanks for asking.” 

Sam reaches the door and turns around. 

“One more thing, you’ve got a great voice.”

“Was I that loud or did no one sleep at all last night?”

Sam chuckles. 

“I think after the past few days, it’s hard for anyone to get a good night's sleep.” He looks down, fiddling with his fingers. “What you did… what you did for Bucky in Madripoor, when we were undercover…”

“What did I do?” She asks curiously. 

“When Zemo had him go all Winter Soldier, you fought alongside him, you got to that first guy before Bucky did.”

Angel is quiet. She says nothing, looking down at her hands and picking at her cuticles. 

“He might not say this to your face, but I’ve been around him long enough to know that he’s thankful. And so am I.”

She doesn’t know what to say. What would she even say?

“I can see now why he likes calling you Angel.” 

With that, the door closes. 

She walks over to the kitchen, looking through the cabinets. The shelves were fairly empty, mostly just tins of cookies and candy, and a box of cherry blossom tea. She huffs in frustration when her fingers brush over the tin of candy, barely moving it. 

“Need some help, doll?” 

Bucky grabs the tin and places it on the counter.

Her frustration is reignited at the sight of him in a tight, black t-shirt. She wants him to bend her over, fuck her until she sobs.

But she knows he won’t give her that.

Before she can grab it, Bucky holds it above his head. 

“You’re evil.” She mutters. “Come on, give me it.”

“Nope!” He smirks. 

“Go fu-“

She yelps when Bucky loops his thumb through the belt loop of her jumpsuit and pulls her close to him. 

“Remember what I told you? Watch your language.” 

“Give me the candy or you’re not getting head for a week.”

Bucky’s eyes widen and he hands her the box. 

“Thank you.” 

She presses a kiss to his nose and walks away with the box. 

She knows what Bucky’s doing. He’s riling her up, teasing her. 

But two can play that game. 

She sits up on the counter and opens the tin. 

Turkish Delight. Candy she used to eat as a child. 

He’s staring at her. She can feel it. Her fingers pluck a candy from the box and hold it up. 

“Want one?”

Bucky walks over to her and wedges himself between her thighs. 

“Sure.” 

She unwraps the candy and places a finger on his chin, beckoning him to open his mouth.

Her fingers place the treat on his tongue.

“Sweet, isn’t it?”

He kisses her and she can taste the sugar on his lips. 

“Almost as sweet as you.”

She grabs another and hops off of the counter, humored by Bucky’s frustrated look. 

“Sam probably wants everyone ready by the time he gets back. So, I don’t know.” She eyes him up and down, ready to drool at the sight of his arms. “Get dressed.”

“Oh doll, I’m already dressed.” He chuckles. 

“Good. Then help me out.” Her fingers deftly unbutton the top of her jumpsuit, exposing her black sports bra. She reaches for her harness and shoves it in Bucky’s hands. “Buckle me in.”

… 

Sex was the last thing on her mind when she’s face to face with the new Captain America. 

“Karli Morganthau is too dangerous for you to be pulling this shit.” He yells. 

Angel rolls her eyes at the sight of John Walker. 

“How’d you find us now?” Bucky replies, voice full of annoyance.

“You think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” 

Angel’s seen his face in the news. Lemar, the better of America’s new dynamic duo. 

“No more keeping us in the dark, and you can tell us why you broke him” John points to Zemo “out of prison.”

“He did that himself, technically.” Bucky answers. 

“That is an unbelievable explanation! And who the hell are you?” He points to Angel. 

“I’m a friend.” She grumbles, eyes narrowed. 

“You have no business being here. And whatever you’re wearing, all you’re going to do is draw attention.”

“And your little Mr. America getup isn’t?”

“Why don’t you go back to working in European intelligence or whatever it is you do.”

“You better watch your mouth, Mr. Walker.” She snarls. “Is that really how you speak to a lady?” 

“I know where Karli is.” Zemo interrupts their feud.

“Well, where?” 

“All we know is,” Sam answers, “It’s a memorial. We’ll intercept her there.” 

“That means civilians, high risk of casualties.” Lemar states.

“Alright good.” John schemes. “We’ll move in fast, take her by surprise.” 

“Not a good idea, John.” Angel retorts. He halts in his steps and turns to her.

“You have no clue what you’re getting yourself into. This is an American situation.” 

She leans in until she’s staring into his eyes. Rage broils inside of her. 

“Let me tell you something John, I don’t care about your medals of honor. I don’t care that you’re wearing that red and blue suit. So I’ll tell you this once, and only once. If you dare speak to me like this again, I won’t hesitate to-“ 

Bucky pulls her back, giving her a stern look. 

“Hey,” he rubs her shoulder, trying to settle her anger. “He’s not worth it.”

“Oh, so she’s your little girlfriend huh?” 

Angel presses the tip of her knife against his chin and backs him into a wall.

“You stay out of Bucky’s business.” She seethes. 

“Hey, hey, hey!”

This time, both Sam and Bucky had to pull her away, but she keeps her murderous glare trained on him.

“Jesus Christ, Barnes. Keep your little psycho under control.” John spits. 

“Hey, don’t speak to her like that,” Sam demands. “Just because you don’t know her doesn’t give you an excuse to be rude.” 

“Either you show her some respect,” Bucky says “or all of the help we have to offer is off of the table.” 

Sam nods in agreement and eventually so does Zemo, who adds a small shrug. 

“I wasn't actually going to kill him.” She mutters under her breath.

“We know.” Sam pulls her into a side hug. He directs his words back to John. “I want to talk to her alone.”

“I’m not losing her again.” 

“Look, the person closest to her died. She’s vulnerable. If there’s any time to reason with her, it’s now.” 

“What?” John halts in his steps. “No, wait stop. We are way past reasoning with her.” 

“Sam,” Lemar states. “If you walk in there cold, you could die.”

“But if you walk in guns blazing, you could have the blood of hundreds of civilians on your hands.” Angel folds her arms. “Besides, if things go wrong, I’m trained in mixed martial arts.”

“You think a black belt will save you from  a super-soldier?” 

Angel snorts. 

“It has before.”

Bucky looks down and stifles a laugh. 

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay?” Sam argues with John. “This is in my wheelhouse.”

They’re all silent, staring daggers at each other. 

“John,” Lemar breaks the silence “If he can talk her down, it might be worth a try.” He gives Angel a kind smile. “And I think we give this girl a chance to show us what she’s got.”

“Thank you.” She smiles back. 

“I’m sure this can all come to an agreeable conclusion.” Zemo points forward. “My associate is just up ahead.” 

They watch as Zemo approaches a young girl, handing her some money. She beckons them to follow her down a cobblestone path, into a building, and through the boiler room. 

“You’ve got ten minutes,” John states while handcuffing Zemo to a pipe. “Then we’re doing things my way.”

While they wait, Angel spends her time playing with her butterfly knife, spinning the handle around her fingers.

“How do you not cut yourself doing that?” Lemar asks. 

She spins the knife closed. 

“I have before, it’s just about practice and being careful. Here, I’ll show you.” 

Bucky observes Angel showing off her knife tricks to Lemar. 

Despite the stressful situation, he still felt a pang of possessiveness. She was his Angel. He gave her that name and when she said she’d accepted it. In a way, she was his and he was hers. 

“What’s your name? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.” 

He hears Lemar ask.

Angel giggles.

“It’s Artemis. Like the goddess.”

Artemis. It’s fitting, Bucky thinks. The goddess of the hunt.

“That’s really cool. Let me guess, your parents were huge mythology fans?”

“You can say that.” She chuckles.

His eyes narrow when she smiles at Lemar. 

Their conversation continues and Bucky’s jealousy burns brighter when she places her fingers on the fabric of Lemar’s suit, giving him a comment on how she’s got an eye for fashion and how nice the fabric was. From his position by the door, he sees her turn to him and give him a wink. 

Bucky scowls. That little minx.

John crosses his arms and stares daggers into her.

“What exactly do you do, anyway?” He scoffs. “Are you some kind of spy?”

Angel raises a brow. 

“I’m not a spy. I’m just a problem solver.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” John shakes his head and secures the shield on his arm. “Nevermind. I’m going in.” 

“Oh, come on John, it’s only been eight minutes.” 

“No. Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.” 

“I’m not-” Angel sighs and turns away, focusing her attention on pulling her hair back.

Bucky stops him before John can get through the doorway. 

“It must be so easy for you.” John’s voice is full of malice. “All that serum running through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup. Do you really want his blood on your hands?” 

Bucky can see Angel slowly shake her head, telling him not to give in to John’s words. But he can’t. He’s already done so much harm. He’s responsible for the deaths of so many people, he can’t let Sam become another. 

So, he lets John walk past him, Lemar following along. 

Angel runs up to him. 

“Bucky, why’d you do that?” 

“I can’t… I can’t risk it. I can’t risk losing him.” 

She sighs and places a gentle hand on his cheek. 

“I understand.” Her lips land a gentle kiss on his nose. “But don’t let his words get to you. Now,” She grins and lightly smacks his ass. “Go make sure he doesn’t kill anyone.” 

With one final kiss, Bucky runs off. 

She turns around to see the handcuffs dangling from the pole. Her blood runs cold. Zemo escaped and who knows what he’ll do.

She runs through the halls, boots quietly slapping on the concrete floors. From her left, she hears a series of loud gunshots and crunching glass. 

Her feet lightly tread next to the walls, ears picking up every little sound. 

She jumps, heartbeat pounding when the thump of a body falling to the ground meets her ears. 

Did Zemo kill someone? Was it Karli? Another Flag-Smasher? 

She runs through the door closest to her. From behind a table, she spots John staring at a small vial. A small vial of the serum. Before she can say anything, he runs away. 

As she quietly walks into the room, she spots Zemo, lying on the ground, unconscious. No one else was here. 

She crouches down next to him and gently shakes his shoulder. 

“Baron? Zemo? Come on, wake up.” 

He doesn’t move. 

She picks up his wrist, pressing her pointer and middle fingers on the vein. A sigh of relief passes her lips at the feeling of a pulse. 

Her hands shake his shoulder again, this time, with more vigor. 

“Zemo!” She shouts.

His eyes snap open and he groans in pain. 

“You passed out Baron.”

“I’m aware.” He grumbles. “John Walker threw the shield at me.” 

“Of course he did.”

She offers him a hand and helps him stand up. 

“Can you walk?” She asks. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay.”

The two make their way through the city until they reach Zemo’s apartment. Sam was already there, typing away on his computer. 

Angel wets a towel in the kitchen and hands it to Zemo.

“Go, lie down. Put this over your eyes.” 

She walks down the hall towards Bucky’s room. With a tired sigh, she removes her shoes, jumpsuit, and harness.

Her eyes close as she lies on the bed in her underwear. The sports bra felt much too tight but she didn’t care. She was tired. Her morning sexual frustration had caught up to her but she didn’t feel like doing anything about it.

Even though it was only seven in the evening, she just wanted to sleep.

Right when she’s drifting off to sleep, the slam of the bedroom door jolts her awake. 

Bucky is standing in front of her, arms crossed, eyes filled with rage.

“Get off the bed.” He snarls. 

She laughs and rolls over onto her stomach. 

“No. If sex is what you want, let’s do it on the bed.”

She hears a sigh behind her and her eyes widen when she feels Bucky’s hands wrap around her ankles. 

“Buck, what are you-”

Her words come to a halt when he pulls her off of the bed and onto her knees. 

“You wanted me to fuck you?” He seethes. “Fuck you rough until you can’t speak?”

“That was the plan.” She smirks. 

He twists a hand in her hair and pulls her head back. Her breath is shallow as she looks up, meeting Bucky’s angry eyes. 

He’s mad. At the entire Karli situation, and maybe with her. But his anger towards her, she assumes, is fiery, lustful anger. Anger that she can have a lot of fun with. 

“If you had let me cum earlier,” She snaps, “ maybe I wouldn’t have been such a brat.”

She rubs her thighs together, trying to alleviate the arousal burning through her. A whine leaves her lips when he kicks her legs apart. 

He tightens his grip on her hair.

“You really need to learn some respect.”

Bucky places the toe of his boot on her back and pushes her face down onto the floor. She doesn’t resist, giving in to his dominance. 

“Aww, look at you,” he mocks, “You were so bold earlier, my Angel. Where did that fire go?”

Her heart swells. He’s no longer calling her Angel. He’s called her his Angel. She was his. 

Footsteps echo around her and she takes a shaky breath when his black boots come into view. 

“Look at me, doll. I wanna see those pretty eyes.”

His voice is commanding, authoritative. It drew her in, made her head spin.

She looks up at him with wide eyes as he bends down on a knee.

“Were you trying to rile me up? Trying to make me angry?” 

She nods.

Bucky roughly grabs her chin, cold metal digging into her cheeks.

“Use your words.”

“Y-yes Sergeant.” She squeaks.

He stares down at her, anger and lust in his eyes. 

“Open your mouth.” 

Her lips part and Bucky spits, letting his saliva pool on her tongue. 

His fingers press on her chin, closing her mouth. She swallows, heat burning in her tummy. 

“So now, you want to be a good girl, huh?” 

He picks her up by her neck and shoves her face into the soft mattress. His fingers loop around the elastic waistband of her panties and pull, the fabric digging into her cunt. 

“Yes, I’m your good girl.” She whines. “I’ll be good. Promise.” 

He leans in close, his warm breath brushing over her ear. 

“I don’t believe you.” 

He rears his metal hand against her ass, leaving a red handprint of her skin. 

A choked breath leaves her lips. She relishes in the pain and gives him a cocky smile.

“Is that all you got Sarge?” 

He lands another hard smack, this time on her thigh. A whimper escapes her lips.

“Oh, you’re really asking for it, aren’t you?” 

He shifts his hand on her neck, wrapping it around the front of her neck. She squeezes at the sides, slowing the circulation of blood to her head. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but the hand on her throat stops the words from leaving her lips. 

The clinking of his belt buckle sends a wave of lust through her. 

She was finally getting what she wanted.

His hand on her neck is released and she takes in a sharp breath.  

He pulls her panties down her legs and throws them to the side. 

She gasps at the feeling of cold metal rubbing between her folds. Her fingers dig into the sheets, grabbing at the fabric. 

“You’re practically dripping.” He muses, “Who knew you were such a masochist?” 

“Only for you.” She keens. 

“Only for me? Not for anyone else?”

“Yes! Yes! Only you!”

Bucky hums and lands another smack on her ass. She yelps and tears threaten to spill from her eyes. 

He shoves two fingers inside of her and she gasps at the cool feeling of the metal. 

She squirms around as he twists his fingers, pressing against that spot inside of her.

Hunger swarms her brain. She wanted, no, needed more. 

What he’s doing is sadistic, she thinks. Constantly bringing her to the edge, but never letting her tip over. 

He lets his thumb press against her clit and the tears she’s been trying to hold back spill over. She lets out a quiet sob into the sheets but Bucky doesn’t stop his movements. 

“I need more.” She quietly whimpers. 

“You think you have the right to beg?” He asks nonchalantly. “After that little show?” 

“I’m sorry.” She cries. 

Her eyes squeeze shut and she turns her head, letting her cheek rest on the bedsheets. When she glances up, she can see Bucky’s amused smirk. 

She feels the tip of his cock pressing against her entrance and she holds her breath. 

“Oh doll,” he coos, thumbing away her tears, “You’re so pretty when you cry.” 

A sudden thrust of his hips buries his cock inside of her. Bucky clamps his hand over her lips, muffling her desperate cries. 

“Shh, shh,” He whispers gently. “It’s okay, love. Be a good girl and take it.” 

He starts moving, his hips slowly thrusting into her. The fire inside of her burns, hotter and hotter. Her head is reeling as she feels herself come closer to her impending orgasm. Despite how rough he is with her, she feels safe. Safe with him. She feels safe enough to fall into submission, open and pliant for him. 

Her sobs against his hand become louder, more intense and he bends down to nip at her neck.

“Are you gonna cum, angel? Cum all over my cock?” 

She nods, eyes squeezed shut. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” He asks.

“No,” she mumbles against his hand. “But I want to.”

He brushes his fingers down the length of her back and she shivers. 

“You wanna cum, doll? Ask nicely.” 

He releases his hand and grabs her hip, pulling her deeper onto his cock. 

“Please.” She gasps. “Please, let me cum!” 

“You have to do better than that.”

“Please, I’ll be so good for you! I’ll never flirt with anyone again! Just please! Please, I wanna cum.” 

He picks up his pace, and she finds it harder to stave off her orgasm. 

“So polite.” He hums, “But not yet.”

She lets out a pathetic sob.

“Please.” She whimpers. 

“Be patient. You’ll get to cum soon.” 

Her breaths are shallow as she tries to keep herself from cumming. She bites down on her lower lip but the pain does little to help.

Relief washes over her when Bucky speaks again.

“You’ve been such a good girl for me. Come on angel, cum for me.” 

Her teeth bite down on the sheets as she’s hurtles over the edge, her orgasm sending shockwaves through her body. 

As her chest heaves and her mind becomes foggy, she can barely feel Bucky pull out and releases him cum on her back. 

She lies there, upper half sprawled over the mattress, a dopey smile on her face. A hum of pleasure slips past her lips when Bucky wipes his cum away with a warm washcloth. 

“You okay, doll?” He asks. 

She nods her head. 

The bed shifts as he sits on the bed and pulls her towards him. 

“Come on,” He lies down and pulls her close to him. He noses at the back of her shoulder. “Get some rest.” 

The sun was about to set, bathing their bodies in a golden glow. He runs his metal fingers over her bicep, cooling down her heated skin. 

She’s tired, so tired. Yet she’s happy. The first time in a long time that she’s actually felt happy. 

“Bucky?” She asks in a fucked out daze.

“Yes my angel?” 

A moment of silence passes. 

“You’re the only one who’s made me feel human.”

...

Once again, tysm @sojournmichael for reading over my little snippets of writing!

[salty-over-figureskating-costume]

Evgenia Medvedeva's 2017-2018 FS Costume

This is the continuation of the previous ask but I did feel that it deserved it's own post

Now this dress I like much better, this one feels a bit more Anna Karenina not so Death Note.

I really like the colour of this one, the reddish brown, like a dry burgundy if that makes sense, feels more lux and it makes Zhenya glow, it brings out the warmth in her skin and even her hair looks better, lmao.

The bodice has a lot of details yet it doesn't look particularly busy, the apliqué detailing flows down into the waistline and also into the neckline, so it has a lovely line.

I really like the shifts in colours with the brighter red at the top and the bottom, the dark brown/black bits on the middle, underlining the bust and following the red and then the white as an accent. It gives the whole thing a very nice depth and helps define Zhenya's waist a little bit more.

The faux choker look with the red flower detailing just murders me, it's a great detail, it's not something we see much and I just love it.

I really enjoy the movement of the skirt, it's a simple circle skirt made of light flowy fabric, yet it works really well with the rest of the dress. The difference between the simplicity of this skirt and the simplicity of the black dress is that if this one had more things, the whole dress would look hella busy.

The skirt also has a longer bit at the back, with some apliqué kinda bunching it up. I love this little detail because it's reminiscent of the bustle in 19th century fashion, which this being an Anna Karenina program it's great to see.

Now the mesh and solid fabric contrast is very similar to the black one and it also gives it a lovely line.

The gloves with this dress actually work very well, the sleeves are short and the gloves are complete and medium length, so they look like an actual accessory without breaking up the line of the arms

The back is also great it has some more red details and the faux lace up that we saw with the black one, however I don't like this one as much.

Overall I love this dress, it's visually interesting, it matches the music, the colour is great and it just is a very nice, very coherent look. So thank you for asking about it

Also shout out to this red dress

I think this one was the first one she wore that season and it's just very solid, very nice.

-------------------------------------

As always my inbox and dms are always open, I love it when y'all ask me things, so don't be shy

[lizziestudieshistory]

Books of 2021 - August

I had a decent reading month in August! Not only did I FINALLY conquer Anna Karenina but I also managed to knock a fair few books of my long term TBR.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by That Woman - a reread that completed my entire series reread. I enjoyed it, found a new love for Severus Snape, and rediscovered a love that had suffered from Rowling herself. I don't want to say too much because Harry Potter isn't exactly under praised!

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - Okay I KNOW I just finished a reread but I was playing the Harry Potter games from when I was a kid and wanted something to stick on in the background I didn't need to fix my entire attention on... I also wanted to revisit some scenes from this book to follow up some thoughts I'd had in the later novels.

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio - I ADORED this book! It took me a little while to get into it but once I was hooked it was intense. The drama was intense, the relationships between the main character were beautiful (if a bit twisted), and the love of Shakespeare permeated every page. It was a suspenseful read that came to me exactly at the right time!

I would highly recommend if you love Shakespeare and, for some reason, haven't read this yet, or if you're into dark academia as a literary genre (I actually think it's better than The Secret History!!!) If you don’t love Shakespeare I would recommend familiarising yourself with Julius Caesar, Romeo and Juliet, and King Lear before you resd this one as an awareness of these plays will really help you enjoyment. However, this is definitely one of the best books I've read all year - I absolutely adored it!

The Warden by Anthony Trollop - This was an unexpected boom for me to pick up. It's been sitting on my shelf for a couple of years at this point and I've never felt the urge to pick it up. I knew I wanted to try Trollope and I thought I'd enjoy this because I am a bit too into church politics but I'd never felt particularly motivated to read it - turns out I did really enjoy it!

It's probably not Trollope's best work (although I have nothing to compare it to) and I definitely wouldn't recommend it as a starting place for Trollope unless you do really love church politics. However, I had a great time and really enjoyed the discussion around church abuses, personal responsibility, and the effect unthinking busybodies can have on otherwise content individuals. It was a promising start from Trollope and I'll definitely be reading more in the future!

Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë - Another unexpected read for this month, however, like The Warden I picked this up to help with my momentum through the 1kpagesaug21 readathon. I liked Agnes Grey, it was an interesting little book that I enjoyed reading. The exploration of a governess' life was powerful and eye opening - although it was probably moreso for a Victorian audience than it is today.

However, I felt there was something lacking in Agnes Grey that was present in The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. The characters didn't feel as vivid - even Agnes herself felt flat to me - and her life didn't draw me into the book. I do think the relationships, particularly between Agnes and the children she taught, were very well developed. Children, especially teenaged girls, really are THAT horrible and cruel. But most of Agnes' life didn't interest me that much, her relationship with Mr Weston felt a bit forced (and predictable!) while her happily ever after left me underwhelmed.

The emotionality and passionate heart that's so iconic in the Brontë's work didn't come across in Agnes Grey and I felt a little bit disappointed. It was a good book and I'm glad I read it but The Tenant of Wildfell Hall is definitely the superior Anne Brontë work in my opinion. In Tenant I really feel Anne's passion and anger, which is more in line with my taste.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy - Okay I literally cannot review Anna Karenina here... It's too much in the space I allow myself, so I'll try to do a full review at some point in the future (don't hold your breath I have a backlog!)

Let's just say I struggled with Anna Karenina. I loved parts and loathed others. It's truly a novel about life and life is not always enjoyable to read about... I think Tolstoy gets lost in the scope of his novels! He does too much, encompasses too many plots, and Anna Karenina really should have been two books, not one.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - I'm STILL processing Piranesi, I've been putting off my monthly reviews to try and decide how I feel about it but I just don't know! It's a beautifully written book, the prose is to DIE FOR. Clarke could write about anything and I'd think it was beautifully written.

Yet the book itself is weird, not in a bad way though. It's slow and whimsical - nothing really makes sense until you've uncovered the whole mystery of the House and Piranesi. It was enchanting to read, I really was spellbound, but I'm not sure if it was enjoyable? I found it hard going in places, especially at the beginning where Piranesi was doing nothing for 70 pages! I do think it's worth reading, and I did love the plot (when it actually happened) I just wished it was slightly more to the point in the opening part.

[coping-mental-health]

News-Medical.Net: Lonely people process the world differently, study finds

people who are not lonely are all alike, but every lonely person processes the world in their own, idiosyncratic way.