#something they go through TOGETHER and builds them up for carlos getting hurt and tk dealing with that

[reyesstrand]

idk i’m just rambling here but one of the big things for ME re: the carlos is already married theory that i’ve been thinking about since i first started seeing it...everywhere (besides it being ooc in my opinion) is that we’re looking at—max—a four episode arc that narratively needs to allow us to catch up with the characters again, before tying together carlos’ secret, his work storyline, iris’ return, andrea (and gabriel) + tarlos, the other characters’ involvement w their story, the storms, and some heavy tarlos plot as teased by ronen. and then we’ll move onto other big plot points and storylines with other characters (likely tommy and marjan, and of course owen), likely leaving us without much substantial development re: the aftermath of the heavy tarlos arc until we focus in on them again. absolving the fact that carlos somehow neglected to tell the love of his life—whose proposal he happy-cried through and accepted at three in the morning without hesitation—that he’s already married and has been for a while and getting through the appropriate reactions to that (no matter the reason), while also setting them up to come out stronger on the other side of that, while dealing with the carlos work storyline effectively, just to have them happily hanging out at the firehouse a few episodes later and presumably wedding planning heavily in episode eight as if nothing happened just. i don’t see it.

also, this is the same show that has promotional material that phrases character death as a “personal emergency” and a proposal as “come to a decision”. i feel like they’re really just playing with our emotions here.

[chaotictarlos]

Been awhile since I've dropped one for this one... I think my writing block for this one might be letting up. For my TK BreakUp Anon 💙

----

“I can’t believe you think this was okay. I can’t believe you would do this to me. I thought we were going to do this together, as a team.” TK snapped at him, eyes blurring with tears that he refused to let fall. “I thought you didn’t care where we lived as long as we were together!”

“TK-”

“No, stop it. You’re just like the rest of them, taking control and doing what you think is best for me without talking to me about it,” TK shook his head. “It’s something Alex would do and in the end, I wasn’t enough for him, I guess I’m not enough for you either.

Hurt flashed in Carlos’ eyes and he stepped forward, hand reaching out like he was going to touch TK.

TK shook his head, anger, hurt, and betrail bubbling hotly through his veins. He felt trapped and like he was suffocating from his emotions.

“This… This is inexcusable, Carlos,” TK said, voice quiet. He pressed his lips into a thin line and didn’t hesitate to bolt - ignoring Carlos’ shouts of his name as he made his way down the hall and out of the building.

-

The moment TK stepped out into the afternoon sun, he knew that walking away was a move he would regret for the rest of his life.

Even through the anger and hurt settling in his chest, he knew he would regret blowing up at Carlos and not trying to talk about what he had done rationally.

Then again, TK had barely done anything rationally in his life.

TK had been trying so hard the past year to stop running when faced with a complication or some kind of conflict. He had been working with his therapist on different ways to cope and how to have logical and rational conversations when he was bothered by something.

And he had told himself, promised himself that he would stop running out on Carlos when things got hard or he felt backed into a corner because Carlos didn’t deserve that kind of behavior. He had made a plan that he would follow, that would encourage them to talk about and work through whatever the conflict or difference was.

However, buying them a place without talking to TK about it, or seemingly not even considering how TK would feel about it beyond his initial reaction to the place had been a step too far, didn’t fit into any of his coping skills, and was too much for TK to handle.

TK sniffled, rubbing the tears out of his eyes before making his way down the street before Carlos could come down and try to talk to him.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, fingers fumbling as he ordered an Uber to drive him away from the man that he loved and TK had thought loved him too so that he could clear his head and decide what to do next.

He was in the Uber, giving directions to his dad’s house because he had nowhere else he could think of to go when Carlos tried to call him. TK ignored it and a text came through seconds later.

[Carlos] TK, please answer me. Where are you? We need to talk about this. Running away doesn’t solve anything and I’m not even sure why you ran this time.

[Carlos] I know I upset you, that wasn’t what I meant to do. I thought this was a good thing for us.

[Carlos] TK. Please. You promised to talk to me about these things.

[Carlos] I can see that you read my message. TK, come on, we need to talk about this. Running away right now won’t solve anything.

TK clenched his eyes shut, trying to stop another wave of tears from streaming down his face.

The Uber stops at his dad’s house and TK gets out and heads in, going straight to the guest room that he had been sharing with Carlos. He dropped down onto it, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as his phone vibrated again.

[lonestardaily]

Each week Lone Star Daily looks to provide you with a decent (not comprehensive) list of the fanfics that have been posted for the week. The week runs from Friday - Thursday, as that way it does give us an opportunity to put the list together. There’s no requirement to tag us as we will check the tags #911 lone star fic and #911lsfic while also combing through ao3. We currently are only going to post new fics, not updates. You can check out this week’s fics below the cut.

Please feel free to give this post a boost to give our writers a chance to receive some love for the work they do for the fandom.

(if your fic is not tagged with a tumblr, it’s because we couldn’t find one - feel free to send us a message and we’ll be happy to add one)

TARLOS FICS

Love Letting Love by @kiras-sunshine​​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Canon Divergence | T | 14K)

He keeps disappearing sometimes, for hours on end, and Carlos knows it isn’t because of AA meetings. He talks about those to him. He even asks a ride to them sometimes and Carlos sometimes takes him out for a dinner afterwards, if it seems like TK needs it.

TK keeps having hushed phone calls and he has seen him with complete strangers, and he definitely seems like he is preoccupied with something, as if his mind wouldn’t always be there with him, but other than that he seems alright and normal. Happy, even. Just secretive and that he is withholding something.

Carlos knows he will drive himself up the wall if he tries to figure it out, to guess what he is hiding, but still, he is unable to stop himself from wondering. Trying to deduce things based on the little clues and hints as if he would be a case to crack and not the love of his life.

Family Dinners with Nosy Relatives by @ramblingdisaster73​​

↳  (TK x Carlos, TK x Carlos x Reyes Family | Fluff & Humor | G | 2.3K)

Andrea observes the newly engaged couple at the first Reyes Sunday dinner since their new relationship development.

Somebody Like You by @harvestleaves​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | T | 1.6K)

Carlos and TK are playing in a charity softball game, APD vs AFD and TK's asthma flares up.  The title is from a Keith Urban song by the same name.

The joys of sharing a mother’s love with everyone by@sapphire11​

↳  (TK x Carlos, TK x Carlos x Reyes Family, TK x Gwyn | Fluff | G | 2.9K)

Carlos and TK are so excited to share with the Reyes' their happy news.

Andrea Reyes POV of learning about their surprise and also having some heartfelt conversations with her boys.

It’s about Love by @ramblingdisaster73​

↳  (TK x Carlos, TK x Carlos x Reyes Family | Fluff & Humor | G | 2.3K)

Set 2 days after the engagement, TK and Carlos know that they need to tell their parents about their new relationship status, and invite them over for lunch before the 126 hang.

3x18 Coda - Telling the parents

melting into you by @maxbegone​​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Coda | N/R | 1.2K)

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Carlos brings a hand up to cup his cheek. “Did you really do that last night?”

“I really did that last night,” TK with a quiet giggle. “Did you really say yes?”

It’s his turn to laugh now as he glides his thumb over the delicate skin under his eye. “I really said yes.”

The look TK gives him makes his heart catch in his throat all over again, and Carlos has never been more grateful to not have a shift. Because now he’s tearing up once again, remembering TK’s hushed speech hours before the rest of the world woke up, wrapped in a heap of comforters and hands clasped tightly together between them. They were solid and steady words, and Carlos, he swears, has them tattooed on his heart forever, right next to “Breathe, breathe, breathe.”

held me up when i was down by @doublel27​​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Spec Fic | G | 750)

Just gonna…manifest a little something…pay no attention.

The Calm and the Chaos by @tykstrand​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff/Angst | G | 1k+)

TK and Carlos get caught up in a building collapse and their nice day off is ruined

we knew it’d happen eventually by @binancygillian​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Spec Fic | G | 3k)

The room is quiet, aside from the steady beeps of the heart monitor and the occasional announcement over the PA down the hall. The man in the bed lies asleep, oblivious to his son seated next to his bed.

He's been there all night. Barely slept. He'd cried for awhile, terrified of losing his father so soon after his mother passed.

I can't lose another parent.

Now, he's slouched back against the backrest of the uncomfortable hospital chair staring blankly at his father's slack face. His eyes are red and itchy from crying, doesn't think there's anymore tears in him left to shed.

He hasn't said anything or moved in hours. The night nurses assured him his dad was improving and it took all his strength to muster a nod with a sad smile. He hates this, the waiting. Hates hospitals. He'd be content with never seeing the inside of a hospital room ever again, but he knows it's bound to happen again with their line of work.

TK drops his eyes to his lap, hands tucked into the sleeves of his shirt and picking at the loose threads, "I'm gonna ask Carlos to marry me,"

medicine (devil in my head) by @cyllaeth​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff/Angst | N/R | 2k)

tonight the only thing he can hear is the calm and even breathing coming from TK who is sleeping fairly peacefully next to him. he looks very young and vulnerable, his features even softer than usual. his hand is tightly wrapped around Carlosʼ waist like heʼs afraid to let him go. itʼs almost a miracle that he was able to drift off to sleep. Carlos feels a sting of jealousy; heʼs ashamed of it, he knows itʼs bad but he canʼt help himself. heʼs all alone with his intrusive thoughts and nothing to distract him.

your heart, it looks  just like mine by @ravens-words​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff | T | 4.4K)

Five times Carlos watched TK with Jonah, and the one time someone watched Carlos watch TK with Jonah.

sugar, spice, and everything nice by @alrightbuckaroo​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff | G | 768)


Carlos and TK go cake tasting.

he’s my fiance by  ilikeyougreenie

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff | T | 2.4K)

“Morning, fiancé,” TK murmurs, and Carlos absolutely cannot believe how lucky he is. He’s here, in the loft he shares with the man he loves, and they’re going to get married one day. There will come a day when he can legally call Tyler Kennedy Strand his fucking husband. For now, though, fiancé is more than adequate; Carlos can’t wait to annoy everyone by constantly referring to TK as his fiancé every single second of every single day. It’s what they deserve, especially given the turbulent journey they’ve taken to get to this point.

“Mmm, fiancé.” Carlos hums, slowly licking his way into TK’s mouth. “I love the sound of that.”

“You and me both.” TK grins, hooking a leg around Carlos’s and pulling until he’s on his back with Carlos hovering over him. “Thank you for saying yes.”

the whole world is sleeping (but my world is you) by @strandnreyes​

↳  (TK x Carlos | Coda | G| 2.4K)

TK’s concentration is honed in on whatever it is that he’s cooking, likely pancakes from the way he continuously flips something. Carlos watches as he sets his spatula down and grabs two mugs to pour the coffee that just finished brewing. TK has a terrible habit of drinking it too soon and this time is no different. He winces as he sets it back down.

It causes Carlos to bite back a smile as he watches his entire future, a lifetime of TK complaining about his burnt tongue and Carlos kissing it better.

forever in your eyes by falloutmars

↳  (TK x Carlos | Missing Scene | G | 1.1K)

Sleep just won’t come to him.

He’s been staring up at the ceiling from the moment they rolled into bed shortly after eleven last night. It’s not that he isn’t tired because he is, almost ridiculously so, but he wonders if that’s the issue. Maybe he’s overtired. It’s been an… eventful week, to say the least, but it’s not the explosion, building collapse, his dad’s injuries, or subsequent not-cancer that’s on his mind.

It’s Carlos.

hopeless romantic by falloutmars

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff | G | 1.5K)

To say it was love at first sight when he met TK might be a bit of an overstatement. Lust, sure, underlying electricity, definitely, but love might be jumping the gun a bit.

But it didn’t take long. After a few hook-ups, a failed date, and a chance meeting at the police station, Carlos knew. Right or wrong, he knew there was something more to this man and something to be explored between them. He didn’t want to jump ahead and say it felt like a forever kind of thing when everything TK was giving back screamed otherwise, but there was something in Carlos’ heart of hearts that knew.

By the time they officially got together, he knew he’d be right the whole time.

How do you know me so well? by kyruto

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff | N/R  | 5.6K)

Carlos knows TK more than TK thinks Carlos does. It makes TK feel loved and creeped out (in a sweet way) at the same time.

Breathe, Baby by LolaLand

↳  (TK x Carlos | Light Angst | M | 5.1K)

Carlos and TK rediscover each other after TK returns home (post S3 E4).

no grave can hold my body down by ilikeyougreenie

↳  (TK x Carlos | Spec Fic | T | 9K)

“I love you, Ty,” Carlos says finally, trying to breathe through the pain. “I love you, okay? If I could, I would’ve loved you forever. Don’t - don’t forget that.”

“Carlos.” TK sounds wary. “Why does that sound like goodbye?”

Carlos doesn’t want to answer that. He closes his eyes again as a tear drips down his cheek, leaving a damp trail that cuts through the dust and blood streaking his face. He’s so exhausted; he wants to sleep so fucking badly, wants to curl up in TK’s arms and forget about the pain currently riddling his entire body. He can hear TK yelling but he can’t find the words to respond, just twitches his fingers enough to pat the surface of the radio.

10-89 by @bluenet13

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | G | 6.1K)

Carlos becomes the threat he was called in to investigate when he's knocked out during a search and wakes up with a bomb strapped to his chest with time running out.

CHARACTER FICS / OTHER PAIRINGS

our children, ourselves by @marwani-strickland​

↳  (Owen x TK | Coda | T | 1.7K)

tk tells owen about him and carlos' engagement.

(show me) who i am and who i could be by @morganaspendragonss​

↳  (Owen x TK | Hurt/Comfort | G | 1.3K)

after owen's trip to california, he and tk start to talk.

Only A Matter of Time by shes_an_oddbird

↳  (Nancy x Mateo | Missing Scene | G | 1.6K)

Nancy notices Mateo is missing while the rest of the team waits for an update on Captain Strand's condition. She searches the familiar halls of the hospital until she finds him sitting at a bench they've shared once before and they talk about how its only a matter of time before they are back again.

[ramblingdisaster73]

Future/Spec Season 4 fic - The View from the Other Side

Carlos was hurt on the job, TK has to figure out how to navigate being on the other side of the hospital bed.

TK is brought back to the present when those double doors open and a doctor finally comes out “Family of Carlos Reyes?” had both TK and Rachel out of their seats instantly.

“He is my fiancé and I am his medical proxy.” TK told the man, waiting to hear his fate.

“He lost a lot of blood, but we were able to stop the bleeding and no major organs were hit. We are more concerned with the injury to his head. We will be better able to examine him when he wakes up. He is being moved out of recovery to a room now, a nurse will be out soon to take you to see him.” The doctor informed them before disappearing back through the double doors and onto his next patient. TK and Rachel returned to their previous seats, ready to wait some more.

He knew that the next twenty-four hours would be critical and that when he goes into to see him, he won’t be awake. He can handle the medical side of this, the facts, the science of it all. What he was struggling with was knowing that Carlos was in pain, a deep intense pain that TK wouldn’t wish on anyone. He would gladly take Carlos’ place, take away his pain, but now that he was sitting on this side of it all, his view has changed. He didn’t know how Carlos was able to do this, over and over again. Right now, TK felt like he was about to burst out of his skin. How could he have done this to Carlos so many times? How many more would Carlos be able to take?

TK felt Judd’s hand on his shoulder causing him to look up at the other man. The one that had become the big brother he had always wanted. “What?” TK asked the older man.

“Come with me for a minute TK.” Judd told him, grabbing his hand to pull him up.

TK wanted to resist, argue with Judd, but there was something in his eyes that told TK to just listen. He nodded as they left the waiting room, stepping out into the fresh air.

“TK, I know where your head is at right now. You need to let it go.” Judd started.

“How do you know where my head is?” TK asked him.

“Because I have been there. You were realizing how many times Carlos has waited for word on you, and feeling guilty for it. I did that when they weren’t sure if Gracie would wake up after the truck went into the river.” Judd admitted. “She was on the radio with me when the factory blew up, did you know that?” When TK shook his head ‘no’, Judd continued “She was also in the call center when that building collapsed six months ago, she was on the phone with Wyatt. He ended up having to be the person that had to tell her that I was in that building. I am still struggling with that. What we do isn’t easy and it certainly isn’t always pretty.”

TK took a moment to really take in the words that Judd was saying. “I hate that he has had to deal with his so many times. With my track record, I can’t exactly promise it won’t happen again. I can’t promise him that he won’t have to sit by my hospital bed again, we all know that isn’t likely to happen.” TK paused, trying to put his thoughts together before continuing “I never really thought about how it felt to be on the other side of this, to be the one waiting, wondering what was going to happen. I can deal with me being hurt, but him being hurt is so much worse.”

“I know. You should have seen me trying to get to Gracie when she went into labor with Charlie. I have had to learn that we can’t control every outcome, but we can be there for the ones we love and help them through it. And like you said, with your track record you will probably be back on your usual side of things before too long.” Judd teased.

TK realized that he was starting to feel less out of control, less on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. He looked back up at the older man “Thanks Judd. I needed help getting myself out of my guilt spiral.”

Judd laughed as he put his arm around TK’s shoulders, guiding him back into the waiting room. “Anytime.”

TK was grateful that he only had to wait a few more minutes before the nurse came out to take him back to Carlos.

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1: LONE STAR REACTION

This reaction is for the season 3, seventeenth episode titled "Spring Cleaning" which originally aired on May 9, 2022. The episode was written by Jamie Kessler and directed by Chad Lowe. Spoilers ahead!

Let's talk about this week's episode. Coming on the heels of last week's "Shift Less" I like that we got more Wyatt this episode. I love that while the circumstances surrounding him meeting Judd and Grace weren't the best, I love the modern family they've become. I like that Judd and Grace and Wyatt's mom are able to have a cordial relationship with each other. As I've mentioned before, Grace has been a saint through all of this. I do hope we get to see more of this dynamic in the future.

When Judd learns that Wyatt has an interview for an internship, he goes into dad mode. He takes Wyatt to get fitted for a suit and tries to Eliza Doolittle him in the process. While Judd is only trying to be helpful, it would've been nice if he'd encourage Wyatt to be himself. When Wyatt shows up well-mannered and dressed to the nines to his interview, it is clear that he would've been better off if he just showed up in his regular duds and led with his personality. With Wyatt thinking he bombed the interview, Judd tries to make things right by heading over to the office building where the interview was held. We see Judd head inside and board an elevator right before an explosion levels half the building. Our final moment of the episode is Wyatt witnessing the devastation and calling 9-1-1. After seeing Judd get hurt last episode, I don't know if my heart can take it if something else happens to him. Next episode will be the season finale and it looks like Lone Star plans on going out with a bang. Let's hope our Juddy makes it out alive. I want to see more of his developing relationship with Wyatt next season.

Let's discuss Tommy. A few episodes ago, we were introduced to Julius - Charles's baby brother and Tommy's brother-in-law. Now I assumed the flirtations between the two of them were done, however, we see Tommy really wrestling with her attraction to her late husband's brother this episode. After the two share an intimate moment, Tommy visits Charles' grave and it's so clear that she still really misses him. However, she realizes that it may be time for her to move on and try something new - something new being Julius. Just when Tommy starts opening herself up to the idea of pursuing a romance with him, Julius backs off. Now as a viewer, I was really relieved when this happened because while I personally have no problem with someone dating their late-spouse's sibling (see: Hunter and Beau Biden), I just wasn't feeling the Tommy/Julius romance. I am, however, open to seeing Tommy date more next season. So, it looks like we dodged a bullet with this one.

Our final arc of the episode involved my newest favorite pairing - Mateo and Nancy. We got a hint at them possibly hooking up a few episodes ago but nothing could have prepared me for the moment we see them wake up in bed together. I find their romance so refreshing and it's so nice to see a new romance on the show after Owen's many failed attempts at dating. Now don't get me wrong - I love me some Judd and Grace and TK and Carlos - but those relationships have cooled off a bit. It's nice to see two characters not only be romantically attracted to each other but sexually attracted to each other as well. I like that Nancy is not afraid to go after what she wants. I love how direct she is. I love that Mateo is content to let her lead. A part of me did get worried midway through the episode when we saw things start to go sour. However, I like that rather than being the typical case of a guy being intimidated by a powerful woman, we got a guy believing he was undeserving of the powerful woman. I'm excited to see where things go between these two and I love how supportive the others are. It was nice to see the kids hanging out this episode and I sort of got Happy Endings and Friends vibes seeing Nancy and Mateo and TK and Carlos and Marjan and Paul hanging out together. It seems like the only way to get any shine on this series is to either be Owen or be in a couple. Perhaps if Nancy and Mateo remain a couple, we'll get to learn more about them. 

This has to be one of my shortest reactions to date but I think I got the point across. This episode was short on the emergencies but I didn't mind because it afforded us time to explore some of my favorite characters. The emergencies we did get were fun and I'm so glad that we didn't have to watch anyone die this week. I especially love the  first emergency which involved a man getting stuck inside a garbage chute after he tried to rescue a stuffed animal for his soon-to-be ex-wife. I love that after the guy almost died, he and his wife rediscovered their love for each other. In many ways, that's what this episode was all about. Finding love. Finding romance. Nancy and Mateo are exploring their attraction to each other. Tommy is learning how to say goodbye to the love she once had so that she is ready for new love. Judd and Wyatt are playing catch up but are learning how to love each other as father and son. And lastly, we the viewers fell in love with Owen all over again when he finally did something that wasn't completely self-serving and obnoxious.

Next week looks like it's gonna be a doozy. I hate that Judd is back to being in peril. Aside from TK, I can't think of another character that's been through it more than Judd. Maybe Grace. She did have to give birth inside of a dirty RV in the middle of a blizzard. I think everything will be okay but hey - you never know with this show. So, until next week's episode, I reckon I'll be sitting here with my fingers crossed, hoping that all my favorite characters are all alive and well at the end of next week's season finale. Until next time ...

[morganaspendragonss]

“Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.” With Carlos’ the one wearing the sweater!

holly's august extravaganza day 19: whatever here that's left of me (is yours)

thank you!

34. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.” (from the fluff section of this list)

ao3 | 1.4k | hurt/comfort, post 2.12, supportive tk, softness

The morning after the fire, it’s TK who wakes up first, and for once it makes perfect sense. Carlos had barely been able to sleep, and though it hadn’t exactly been a picnic for TK either, he’s not the one going through the grief of losing years of his life all at once. Not to the extent that Carlos is, anyway.

TK sighs and rolls his head to look at Carlos’s sleeping face. He runs his thumb softly over the crease on his brow, wishing the simple motion could smooth it away and make everything okay again. Make it so last night never happened, and this is just a normal morning in their own bed, in their own house.

He tries to pretend for a little while, but the illusion is shattered all too quickly by a soft knocking at the bedroom door. Carefully, TK removes Carlos’s arm from where it is loosely slung over his hips and gets out of bed, checking to make sure he hasn’t disturbed him before padding across the room.

He keeps the door only cracked open to prevent too much light from getting into the room. His dad is on the other side, smiling sadly, a large box in his hands and several bags at his feet. TK braces himself for a joke; his dad has always been the type to fall back on humour in difficult situations, but he finds himself pleasantly surprised.

“I meant to give these to you guys last night,” he says, lifting the box slightly, “but things were so crazy that… Anyway. You left some clothes here when you moved out, so I figured you might want them.”

“Thanks, Dad.” TK takes the box from him, glancing down into it. There’s not much—a couple of hoodies, some screwed up t-shirts and button ups, a pair of sweats—but it’s all he has, and more than Carlos does. He sighs softly, then turns back into the bedroom and places the box down by the wardrobe. Carlos is still asleep when he glances at him, and all TK wants to do is curl up beside him again.

But when he goes to close the door, he instead finds himself with an arm full of bags.

“Those are from the crew,” he dad explains. “Paul stopped by with them earlier; he said to tell you that if there was anything you two needed, they all want to help out.”

TK nods. He’d thought the crew might do something like this, though that doesn’t make him any less grateful.

His dad shuffles awkwardly, clearly finding the silence uncomfortable. “Mateo wanted to contribute too, but we told him not to. You know, because—”

“Because he’s only just replaced his own clothes, I know.”

“Yeah.”

Silence again, and TK loves his dad, but he can’t deal with this right now. Guilt lies thick in the air, somehow worse than last night, but TK is in no mood to address it now. Maybe later, when they’ve had time to think about it all, but right now he’s too tired. Besides, there’s no way he’s getting into what he’s sure will become an argument when Carlos is sleeping just feet away.

TK takes a step back. “Carlos is still asleep,” he says. “So I’m just gonna…” He tips his head back, gesturing into the bedroom, and his dad understands, also moving back.

“Right, of course. I, uh, I have my follow-up appointment at the hospital today, but I’ll see you guys later. Maybe then we can talk?”

“Sure.”

Without waiting for an answer, TK gently shuts the door and turns to place the bags on top of the box. Carlos stirs when he climbs back in bed, his eyelids cracking open.

“Did something happen?” he mumbles, trying to push himself upright.

TK shushes him. “It was just my dad dropping some clothes off for us,” he whispers. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

Carlos drops back off within seconds, TK watching the steady rhythm of his chest and listening to his soft breaths. He reaches out and lightly runs his fingers through Carlos’s hair, pushing back a few stray curls. It’s almost like any other morning, so TK closes his eyes and pretends for a little while longer.

*

TK would have been happy to stay in bed with Carlos all day, but eventually the grumbling of his stomach becomes too insistent to ignore. He heaves himself up once more and selects a shirt at random from the box of his old stuff, wrinkling his nose when he sees what it is. He’d left this one behind on purpose, the print too much for him to care what happened to the shirt. The same goes for most of the clothes in the box, but it’s not like he’s spoiled for choice, so it’ll have to do.

There’s a pair of jeans his size in one of the bags, so TK bundles everything up and trudges to the bathroom. He’s been running into fires his entire working life; he’s perfected the art of getting rid of unwanted smells, but this time is different. This time, no matter how many times he washes himself, the smoke and grime still feels like it’s sticking to his skin, a permanent cloud around him.

TK blames his dad’s shampoos, because it’s easier than admitting he’s imagining it.

Once he’s showered and dressed, he heads to the kitchen to make breakfast. Carlos joins him not ten minutes later, still looking exhausted, though he attempts a wan smile when their eyes meet. TK returns it and kisses him on the cheek, passing him a cup of coffee.

He studies his boyfriend as they stand in silence, his heart breaking at what he sees. Carlos is a big guy, but right now he’s never looked smaller, shoulders hunched and his eyes darting around the kitchen, as if taking it all in. They’ve hung out here together before, especially right after TK got shot, but it must feel different now, knowing there’s nowhere else for them to go.

Knowing that, technically, this is now their home.

Carlos sets his mug on the counter and scrubs his hands down his face, then puls at his sleeves like he’s trying to stretch them to fit. Which… Wait.

“Are you…” TK leans closer, peering at the hoodie Carlos is wearing, and—yep. “Why are you wearing my hoodie?”

Carlos flushes and tugs at the neckline—another demonstration of how uncomfortable it must be for him to wear it. The height difference between them is miniscule, but sizing is another matter entirely; TK’s hoodie is obviously pulled tight across Carlos’s chest and it doesn’t sit right on his body, too small for his build.

“Babe,” TK starts worriedly, “was there nothing in your size from the crew? You should have said something. We can fix this, you don’t need to be uncomfortable.”

There’s a beat, and then Carlos, studiously avoiding TK’s gaze, clears his throat. “It smells like you.”

TK blinks. “What?”

“I’m wearing it because it smells like you. I don’t— The only clothes I have left of mine smell of the fire, but this is yours and… I don’t know, I guess it makes me feel safe?” He laughs nervously, pulling at the hem as though he’s going to take the hoodie off. “Pretty stupid, right?”

TK puts a hand out and stops him. “No,” he says softly. He honestly has no idea how that hoodie smells even remotely like him after a month abandoned here, but if it makes Carlos feel safe, then who is TK to argue? “Not stupid at all. You should keep it.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “You don’t care that I’m probably stretching it?”

“Why would I?” TK asks. “I left it here for a reason, Carlos. Plus, I’d sacrifice a thousand hoodies if I knew it would make you feel safe; one is nothing.”

It’s far from the most romantic thing TK’s ever said, but the way Carlos hugs him makes it feel like it. He presses kiss after kiss to Carlos’s cheek and the shell of his ear, comforting him like he tried to do last night.

“Besides,” he whispers after a moment, “this just means it’ll be big enough for when I inevitably steal it back from you.”

And, for the first time since the fire, Carlos laughs—really, truly laughs. The sound is muffled against TK’s shoulder, but it’s so goddamn beautiful, and TK would do anything to hear it again.

Even if that involves giving up every hoodie he owns.

[marjansmarwani]

I found a post on here giving a good idea of what actually Carlos said to Tk at his bedside (that we couldn’t hear very well) and ooooof omg wow 🥺 Carlos in very typical Carlos fashion was so hard on himself for something that wasn’t his fault. He blames himself for not ‘believing’ Tk when Tk showed him who he really was - a guy that pushes people/runs away as a mechanism of defence, even from the very beginning when Tk walked out on their date (the fact that Carlos calls that a date even now when Tk made it clear at the time he didn’t want a date or a relationship just makes me emo 😭) Carlos says he should’ve listened. I can imagine Carlos during their break up being so hard on himself for it all, constantly replying it in his head but probably also contemplating what Tk said about it. But mostly (it seems) being angry at himself for seeing the best in Tk (in season 1) and not holding his indecisiveness against him because he understood Tk needed time because of his previous relationship going so incredibly wrong and making him relapse. And he probably felt like all of that was for nothing and all that trust they had built, all the relationship foundations they had built and everything they have been through since was for nothing because Tk walked out on him again, many, many months later. And that must’ve felt like such a massive betrayal aswell as left him so heartbroken.

I do think Carlos blames himself for a lot, both in regards to their break up and just in general, but the part you're pointing out is one of the few times I actually see him actually addressing his anger towards TK. I guess you're right in the sense that he's upset with himself for trying to see the best in TK when all the signs were right there, but I don't think he ever would regret the start of their relationship or giving TK that time. If he hadn't done that they would have never ended up together at all and while yeah, that could have saved him some pain, I don't think either of them ever regretted the time the spent together. They both very clearly still loved each other and that fact never changed the who time they were apart.

I don't think he would ever say all the building they did was for nothing because again, he didn't regret their relationship, and I don't think it really had anything to do with the trust they built either. That was still there. But I do think he was angry at TK for giving up. He was angry at him for being reactionary, and for walking away. He was angry at him for falling back into old habits (which is how I took the "believe someone when they tell you who they are" comment) and he was angry at him for walking out on them, and for hurting him. But Carlos does tend to blame himself for so much (we've seen it time and time again) and I am sure you are right about that too, that he did spend a lot of time over those couple of months sitting alone in what was supposed to be their loft wondering what he could have done differently.

But I think that, at least in that conversation, it's a rare occasion of Carlos actually saying what he feels and acknowledging the ways that he blames TK for this too, because he was hurt and people tend to lash out when they are hurt and he had every right to do that even if it wasn't the best time and even if it was all wrapped in the fear and pain of possibly losing TK for good and never getting a chance to fix things between them.

[bellakitse]

Greener on the Other Side

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, not believing what she’s just said. “Say that again, please.”

“I said he’s married,” she repeats herself softly, giving him a pitying look. “And he has a kid."

+

Alex hasn't heard anything about TK Strand in over four years. That's about to change.

Alex Fletcher walks into Gramercy Tavern twenty minutes later than he agreed to meet his friends. He already dreads what is sure to be a lecture on his constant tardiness from the group, but more so, what he knows will be pointed looks when they see he’s come alone instead of with his boyfriend.

Spotting them to the left of the restaurant, he starts to make his way over to them. “Sorry, sorry,” he starts to say with a charming smile as all five of them look up at his voice, hoping to curb the scolding before it starts. “The 6 train was an absolute mess. It got the 33rd street and then refused to go forward.”

Liz and Becca share a look at his excuse, and Alex has to keep from rolling his eyes at them. He gets it. Being late is one of his less desirable character traits, and they find it annoying, but after over a decade of friendship, he thinks they should get over it by now.

“Yeah, the trains have been acting up all week,” Malcolm offers while his wife Patricia gives him a small smile, the two of them ever the peacemakers of the group. “Sit down, man.”

Alex offers his friends a more sincere smile, shaking hands with him and his other buddy Chris before giving all three women kisses on the cheek.

“Where is Dean?” Patricia asks politely, and Alex winces at her mistake. It’s been a while since he and Dean ended things, but it’s also been a while since Patricia has joined her husband at one of their dinners.

“We broke up a few months ago,” he tells her, his face feeling tight from his fake smile. “I’m dating someone new now. His name is Wallace.”

“Oh,” Patricia says softly, going a little red in the face at her blunder. “My apologies, Alex.”

He waves her off, wanting to move on from the embarrassing moment quickly. “No worries, Patty,” he says to her. “And Wallace wanted to come, but he had to work,” he explains, trailing off lamely, not believing the lie himself, but it’s not like he can tell his friends that Wallace simply didn’t want to come because he thought it would be boring.

His friends all give him understanding, if not quite believing looks, and Alex wonders just how pathetic his expression is that they don’t push for more.

The mood around the table is awkward and quiet, making his skin feel tight. Thankfully their waiter comes over to take their drink order, easing the moment, giving him something else to focus on.

He starts to loosen up once there is a vodka soda in his hand. He listens to Liz as she talks about her latest architecture project, laughs at the funny story Chris tells them about his 1st-grade class painting the class bunny with washable markers. He’s enjoying their company, forgetting for a moment that his boyfriend should be there with him getting to know his friends when Becca’s eyes light up as Chris wraps up another story about his students.

“You guys will never believe who I saw yesterday walking out of FAO Schwarz,” she starts, her brown eyes lighting up with the chance to share some juicy gossip.

Alex leans in, already intrigued by the look on her face.

“Who?” Liz asks with a grin, curious herself.

“TK Strand,” Becca answers, saying the name with emphasis, and Alex gets why even as he feels shock go through him. It’s been over four years since he has seen or heard from TK. Not since the night he stopped him from proposing, confessing he was in love with someone else.

Mitchell, he thinks bitterly as he takes a large gulp of his drink. In the end, he’d turned out to be Alex’s own personal karma for hurting TK.

Walking in on him and another guy from their gym eight months into their official relationship had been a kick in the teeth and a hard lesson to learn.

He shakes his head to clear it from the lousy memory just in time to hear Becca’s following comment, shocking him more than her first. “I’m sorry,” he gasps, not believing what she’s just said. “Say that again, please.”

Becca looks at him, hesitating as she bites down on her lip, looking remorseful for a moment, probably remembering that out of all of them, he’d be the one with the most invested interest.

“I said he’s married,” she repeats herself softly, giving him a pitying look. “And he has a kid. They were coming out of the toy store when I bumped into them, and he introduced them to me. His husband’s name is Carlos, and their little boy is Luca. Really cute kid – was talking a mile a minute about all the toys in the place, and given all the bags they had, they must have bought him half the store.”

“Wow,” Chris breathes out, his surprise evident. “I can’t believe he’s married and with a kid. How old do you think?”

“Four,” Becca answers instantly. “I asked Luca, and he held up his fingers.”

Alex shakes his head again. It’s been four years since he and TK were together, and he has a four-year-old son. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he says mostly to himself.

“I get the feeling he’s adopted,” Becca answers. “Or maybe Carlos’ son,” she continues with a shrug. “But he called TK dad.”

“What was the husband like?” Liz questions, and Alex is grateful because he can’t bring himself to ask.

“He was polite and friendly,” Becca pauses, shooting him another look before continuing. “Ridiculously hot, and hopelessly in love with TK. I spent maybe ten minutes with them, and you guys should have seen the way he looked at him. It was like TK hung the moon.”

The table is quiet for a moment. For his benefit, he’s sure, as he tries to process everything he’s learned, when Liz speaks up again.

“Good for TK. He deserves that and more,” she says with a smile on her face that takes a hard edge when he shoots her a glare. “What?” she questions, her whole expression challenging him. “You didn’t take care of him when you guys were together, and he’s a great guy. I always liked him even though we lost touch after you broke up. I’m glad he’s found happiness.”

Alex bites down on the urge to lash out at his friend, not only is it a losing battle with Liz, but deep down in the parts of him where he has buried his guilt and shame at his past actions, he knows he can’t argue with the truth she just laid on him.

 ֎֎֎

 The rest of the dinner is awkward to say the least. Even though they move on from TK, Alex can’t stop thinking about his ex and what he’s learned. He pulls Becca to the side as they’re leaving, grilling her for any more information she might have.

She finally tells him TK had mentioned they were staying with his mother and little brother – one of the few things he did know about TK and his family since Gwyneth and his father ran in the same legal circles. He’d learned about the woman’s surprise pregnancy almost three years ago.

Becca looks at him as he absorbs the information before letting out a heavy sigh, reminding him not to do anything stupid.

He’d given her an absent nod that even he didn’t believe. Which is probably why he’s outside of Gwyneth’s Park Avenue apartment in a hat and sunglasses like a stalker, hoping to catch a glimpse of his ex and his husband.

Whether luck is on his side or karma wants to teach him another lesson, he doesn’t have to wait long. He’s been outside of the swanky apartment building for maybe 15 minutes, trying to decide what exactly he thinks he’s doing, when the front door opens and out walks the person he wants to see.

He ducks behind a tree just in time to not be spotted, peeking behind it to look at the small family.

TK, at 26-years-old, had been a beautiful man; Alex remembers that well. But now, at 30, he’s even more stunning if that’s even possible. He walks out of the building with a tall, muscular man Alex instantly recognizes as the ‘ridiculously hot’ mystery husband. Each of them with a little boy in their arms.

“So what are we doing today?” he hears TK ask with a grin on his face as the little boys instantly start to chant, ‘Park, park, park!’

“I wanna see the penguins, Dada,” exclaims the little boy in the arms of TK’s husband. Carlos and Luca, he remembers.

TK smiles softly at his son before looking at the child in his own arms. “What about you, little brother? Do you want to go to the Central Park Zoo and see the penguins?” he asks, tickling his chin, getting a happy giggle along with a nod from the little boy.

TK’s grin grows before he looks over at his husband, getting a nod from the man too.

“It’s unanimous then,” TK proclaims in an animated voice that has the boys lighting up. “To the park! To the penguins!”

The pair of boys let out a ‘yeah!’ leaning over at each other to share a clumsy high-five that has the adults laughing.

“You just had to rile them up, troublemaker,” Carlos scolds TK, and he might be a stranger to Alex, but he can tell it’s said with amused fondness.  

“You love me,” TK teases his husband, going easily when the man reaches out to tug him in closer by his shirt, turning his face up as his husband leans in to kiss him, tilting to the side to keep the boys out of the way.

Alex swallows hard at the display. Even from where he’s hiding, he can see TK’s bright smile and dancing green eyes once he and his husband break the kiss.

“Always, my love,” Carlos tells TK as he kisses the side of his face adoringly.

“Dada, Papa,” Luca groans out. “Kissing later, park now,” he continues, much to the amusement of the two men.

“So demanding,” TK teases, leaning in to kiss the little boy’s cheek too, laughing at the face he makes. “Okay, let’s go.”

They start towards the park, and Alex hesitates for a moment. He’s seen and heard TK and his family with his own eyes and ears. It’s obvious his ex is happy and not at all thinking about him. He should turn around in the opposite direction and leave before his luck runs out and they spot him. It’s the reasonable thing to do, and yet he finds himself following them about half a block back, keeping his head down.

He can’t hear them from this distance, but he can watch them. He takes in the way the two men hold hands while each holding on to a child, listening and chatting with the two little ones. Everything about them screams family, and Alex can’t deny the dull ache it causes inside his chest.

Is this what he and TK could have had?

He follows them through the park until they come to a series of benches. He watches as TK hands over his little brother to his husband, the man easily carrying both kids. TK sits down, but no one else does. Instead, he waves at them as his husband walks away with the children, leaving TK alone.

Alex hesitates again. This is his chance to approach TK, and yet he’s frozen in place by indecision.

A moment later, his ex takes the choice out of his hand.

He startles as TK turns his head to look straight at him with a raised eyebrow. “Are you just going to stand there?” he calls out to him casually, the picture of calm as he places his arms on the backrest of the bench. It’s different from the TK he remembers, who was always constantly bouncing his legs with nervous energy.

“How did you – “ he starts, feeling awkward and off-balance.

“I didn’t,” TK answers with a shrug as Alex gets closer to him. “It was Carlos who realized. He’s a cop. Noticing weirdos is kind of his job.”

Alex cringes at the descriptor as he comes to a stop in front of him. “Hi, TK,” he says lamely, wincing again at the high pitch sound of his voice.

TK raises an eyebrow at him again. “Hello, Alex. Any particular reason you’re following us in that get-up?” he questions, pointing at his hat and sunglasses.

Alex feels his face grow hot at the question. He reaches up, taking them off. “Becca said she saw you,” he says uncomfortably, getting a casual nod back from his ex. “And I got curious,” he continues weakly. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“That sounds like poor impulse control,” TK mutters to himself. He moves to the side, leaving half the bench open for Alex to decide if he wants to take a seat or not.

Alex would be embarrassed by the speed with which he takes the offer, but the joy at being allowed to get closer overrides that. Neither says anything after he sits down, him because he’s nervous, TK it seems because he’s simply waiting him out.

“So,” he starts slowly. “You’re visiting?”

TK looks at him, seeming to study him before giving him a nod. “We try to see my mother and my little brother Robbie every few months. Sometimes they come to see us, but New York is always pretty in the spring, and Luca has never been.”

“That’s your son,” he blurts out, his face going hot again at the look TK shoots him.

“Becca shared everything, did she,” he questions with a dry smile, shaking his head to himself.

“The group had dinner,” he explains, not needing to add who exactly was there. There was a time when TK would have sat right next to him at one of those dinners, charming everyone with stories about fighting fires and daring rescues.

“Ah,” TK exhales softly. “It’s nice you all still do that. They’re good people. I liked them.”

“They liked you too,” Alex answers, giving TK a half-smile. “Liz was thrilled to hear that you’re married and have a kid. She’s happy you’re happy.”

TK smiles, this time more genuine. “That sounds like her,” he comments, looking nostalgic for the first time. “She was always kind to me,” he finishes, not adding anything else.

It goes quiet between them again, causing Alex’s nerves to fray at the edges. He’s not used to this TK. The one he remembers always filled the silence, even if it was just with nervous chatter.

“So, are you?” he can’t help but blurt out, swallowing nervously when TK gives him a curious look. “Are you happy?”

TK lets out a huff, and while he doesn’t smile or laugh, Alex can see a hint of amusement in his bottle-green eyes. “Is that why you’re here? You want to know if I’m happy?”

He feels the hairs at the back of his neck stand at the mocking he hears in TK’s voice. “Is that so crazy?” he questions defensively. “The last time we spoke wasn’t precisely the best encounter – “

“That’s because I was getting ready to propose to you and instead found out you were fucking around my back with a spin instructor,” TK interrupts him, surprising Alex with how calm he is. There is no anger or reproach in TK’s voice like Alex anticipated, just a simple fact. It hurts Alex more than he expected to witness how unaffected TK seems. “How is Mitchell by the way?”

Alex clenches his fists, his nails digging into his palms as embarrassment courses through him. He wants to stand up and walk away from this. He’s not sure what he’d hoped to accomplish by seeking TK out, but it’s clear now whatever it was, he isn’t going to get it.

He looks at TK to find a mild curiosity on his face, like Alex’s answer doesn’t really matter to him one way or another.

“We broke up,” he answers anyway, taking a breath to try to soothe the ache before his next words. “I found him in our bed with someone else less than a year after you and I broke up.”

“Well shit,” TK says quietly, letting out a breath of his own. He doesn’t look gloating the way he has a right to look. Instead, he looks at Alex with what can only be called compassion. “Karma didn’t just pay you back. It sucker-punched you in the face, huh?”

Alex lets out a startled laugh at the description. TK joins him with a chuckle of his own, and Alex welcomes it even if it’s at his own expense. They laugh for a few seconds before they let it trail off.

“To answer your question,” TK starts to say. He looks at him, bobbing his head softly. “Yes, I’m happy. I’m the kind of happy where I wake up in the morning, look at my husband sleeping, usually with our kid between us, and I can’t believe just how lucky I am.”

“You love him,” Alex whispers, not really needing an answer when he can see it clearly on his face.

TK answers anyway. “He’s my soulmate,” he says with a smile that isn’t directed at him at all. It’s directed at the man who walked away with two kids in his arms minutes before. “I used to think that was you,” he continues, his voice sounding far away, lost in the past while Alex aches in the present. “I was so sure of it once, and then I met Carlos. I was still a mess about you, and I wasn’t looking to fall in love at all, but there he was, and I fell. I fell so fast, Alex. Years later, I’m still falling in love with him every single day.”

“That sounds – “ Alex starts, exhaling through the dull throbbing in his chest. “Scary, honestly.”

TK smiles, bright and beautiful, just like Alex remembers. “It is,” he says with a short laugh. “It’s terrifying, but it’s also amazing, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.”

Alex nods quietly to himself.

“I’m sorry you haven’t found that yet,” TK continues softly because it seems that surprising Alex is the name of the game today. He gives TK a shocked look that has him giving Alex a compassionate look back. “I never wished you ill will. I was hurt and angry after everything went to hell between us, but in the end, I wanted you to find someone to love the way you couldn’t love me and for that person to love you back just the same.”

Alex swallows hard at TK’s words, feeling overwhelmed by them. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

TK looks away from him, and Alex follows his gaze to find that his husband and the kids are coming back with ice cream in their hands. “Thank you for saying that,” he says softly as he stands. He looks down at Alex, giving him a slight quirk of his mouth. “Goodbye, Alex. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Alex watches TK walk away from him, knowing it will be the last time he’ll see him. “Goodbye, TK,” he whispers at his back, feeling the loss more now than he did four years ago.

 ֎֎֎

 “Dada, we got ice cream!” Luca exclaims happily as he slurps on his spiderman popsicle.

“I can see that. Can I have a taste of spidey?” he questions, leaning in when Luca sweetly offers him his treat. “Mmm, that’s yummy. Thank you, sweetheart.”

Luca smiles up at him, his face already a sticky red and blue mess. He looks at Robbie to see his face is yellow from his Spongebob popsicle. He smiles at them fondly as he turns his backpack to his front, searching for the wet wipes to clean their faces.

“We got you a cone with sprinkles,” Carlos says with a smile, though TK can see the worry in his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

TK looks at his husband, taking in his concern for him along with his ever-present love, and smiles as he remembers what he just told Alex moments ago. The love he and Carlos share is so strong – it can be frightening at times to feel so much and so intensely for another person, but like he told Alex, he wouldn’t change it for the world when it means Carlos loves him back just as strongly.

“Yeah, baby,” he answers, reaching out to touch Carlos’ cheek. “Everything is okay,” he smiles at his husband before looking down at his son and little brother. “Better than okay because we’re going to go see some penguins!”

Luca and Robbie cheer happily.

“Let’s go, Robbie,” Luca says to his uncle, throwing an arm over the other little boy’s shoulder.

TK and Carlos watch them walk a few steps ahead of them, chatting away the way only little kids can.

“You sure you’re alright?” Carlos asks as he hands him a melting ice cream. TK takes it, giving it a few licks to keep it from dripping.

“I swear, babe,” he assures him as he wraps an arm around Carlos’ waist. “We talked, and then we said goodbye.”

“What did he want?” Carlos asks curiously.

TK shrugs. He’ll be honest even after talking to Alex; he’s still not entirely sure what the other man wanted out of the conversation. “I’m not even sure he knows,” he answers after a moment. “He apologized for the past and asked me if I was happy. Maybe he was feeling guilty.”

“What did you tell him?” Carlos questions, a smile playing on his mouth when TK shoots him a look. “What?” he asks innocently, and TK can’t help but chuckle at his fishing.

“I told him,” he starts to say, making sure that he’s holding Carlos’ gaze, as usual falling in love all over again as he gets lost in Carlos’ soulful brown eyes. “That every morning, I wake up amazed I got so lucky to love and be loved by you.”

Carlos pulls him to his side, pressing his face into his neck. “I’m the lucky one, Ty,” he whispers against his skin.

TK smiles at Carlos’ words, his smile growing as Luca shouts for them to keep up; the penguins are waiting. “We both are, my love.”

[rafael-silva]

we remain: a tarlos fic

Missing scenes from 2.12. Takes place after Carlos and Gabriel’s phone call. 

*

“He on his way?”

Carlos nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so upset before.”

Gabriel’s arrival after the fire leads to him taking Carlos and TK home, where Andrea is waiting for them with some much-needed motherly comfort. Reeling from the fire and its damage, Carlos feels heavy and lost. He leans on his boyfriend and TK is there to catch him. Carlos comes to a realization and with TK’s help and guidance, Carlos finds his footing again.  

missing scenes, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, carlos needs a hug, kisses, sharing a bath, soft tarlos

4.5k | rated T | on ao3

*****

“He on his way?”

Carlos nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so upset before.”

Carlos had zoned out of the conversation jumping between Judd, Owen, Tommy and Billy as they all stood by the opened ambulance doors. He’d hear TK’s voice whenever the young paramedic would say a word here or there, but Carlos’s eyes kept drifting back to what remained of his, and briefly his and TK’s, home. The stench of smoke and burnt wood hung heavy in the air around him. He almost felt lightheaded as he surveys what little remains of the life he built for himself over the past few years. Carlos feels like he’s free falling, the only thing keeping him from crumbling is TK’s hand in his, strong, supportive and there. Carlos holds onto his boyfriend with everything he’s got, both needing the support and needing to know that TK is really here and next to him.

He looses track of time, but soon, his ears pick up on a worried voice calling from behind, a familiar voice. But it seems so far away, so distant, like he’s underwater and someone is calling for him from above.

Carlos slowly turns around, his hand still clasping TK’s, and it’s then he registers his father rushing towards him.

“Carlitos,” Gabriel calls again, his voice coated with concern and his eyes blown wide.

“Dad,” Carlos whispers, his voice hoarse as he breaks away from TK’s side and takes a couple of steps to meet his father.

“Hey, son,” Gabriel breathes out and wastes no time in wrapping Carlos in a hug.

Exhausted, mentally and emotionally, Carlos falls against his father, closing his eyes as a tear falls down his ashy cheek. He gravitates closer to Gabriel and the older man tightens his hold him.

Carlos can hear Gabriel murmuring words of support and comfort and Carlos soaks it all up. But it doesn’t stop his body from shaking in his father’s arms.

“It’s okay, son, it’s okay,” Gabriel continues with his reassurances, and after a glance towards the ambulance and seeing TK standing near Judd, looking shaken but otherwise unharmed, he adds, “you’re both okay.”

Gabriel’s hold on Carlos doesn’t falter until Carlos starts to calm down. The officer draws in a breath and is about to say something but those words are interrupted by a rough cough tearing through his throat.

Gabriel frowns and he’s the one who pulls back slightly, eyebrows drawn together and closely watching his son’s face as the coughing fit continues.

“Carlos,” Gabriel says once his son can answer, “are you sure you don’t need to be in the hospital?”

“It’s fine,” Carlos replies around a grimace, pausing to suck in some air and swallows against his parched throat. “I got checked out, we both did, and it’s just minor smoke inhalation.”

“Son…” Gabriel tries again.

“We’re okay, dad.”

Carlos’s shoulders are hunched downwards like they were carrying the weight of the world and then some and Gabriel sighs, hating how worn out and tired his son looks. Carlos looks so deflated, so small and it breaks Gabriel’s heart.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, that you both are,” Gabriel expresses, his eyes not leaving Carlos’s. “I was so worried.”

Carlos nods, sniffing. “For a moment in there, I…I thought we weren’t going to make it out…the fire was everywhere, the whole house was…even in the bedroom. We were about to jump out of the window when Owen…” he trails off, his voice breaking. He bites down on his lower lip as fresh tears build in his eyes, as he recalls those terrifying moments. As he recalls the words he stumbled over, the fear echoing as he spoke, thinking it would be the last time he’d ever talk to TK.

Gabriel momentarily shuts his own eyes, his soul shattering at the mere thought of his son not making it out of the fire, and knowing that that was a very real possibility shakes him to his core. And even more so, knowing that he was partly responsible for this disaster, that his actions could have inadvertently caused his son to get hurt or worse, or caused his son to lose the man he loves. Gabriel knows he’s never going to forgive himself for this. His mind drifts back to the frantic call he had received from Owen less than an hour ago.

Gabriel had frowned slightly when the caller ID lit up with Owen’s name. Something stirred in the Ranger’s gut then, telling him that something was wrong.

“Owen,” Gabriel had picked up.

“Gabriel,” Owen replied, his strained voice confirmed Gabriel’s instincts. “Have you heard from Carlos recently?” He asked, forgoing any pleasantries.

The question made Gabriel sit up a little straight, any remnants of fatigue from their long day immediately evaporated from his bones. He took a quick glance at Andrea, who was moving to get into bed next to him, before he answered Owen.

“Not for a few hours…why?”

“Raymond, we know he wasn’t done. Remember what he said? That he’s going to take everything that’s important to me? I thought he was talking to me,” Owen paused and Gabriel heard the sound of the car accelerating.

Dread had begun to build in Gabriel’s gut as he waited for Owen to continue.

“I thought he meant the 126. But the fire at the station wasn’t what he was talking about. At least not completely. Gabriel…I didn’t realize it sooner but he was talking to us both.”

Gabriel’s blood ran cold and his heart dropped into his stomach when Owen’s word sunk in and he realized. “The boys…”

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to reach TK but it keeps going to voicemail.”

“Hold on,” Gabriel said as he turned to his wife. “Call Carlos.”

It was Andrea’s turn to frown, confusion morphing on her face but the urgency behind her husband’s words had her instantly reaching for her phone and calling their son. She shook her head a few moments later.

“Voicemail,” she informs Gabriel, her voice thick with worry now.

“Try again.”

“You’ve reached Carlos, leave a message and I’ll call you back.”

Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut, drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Carlos’s phone keeps going to voicemail, too.”

“I’ll keep trying TK, I’m on my way there now and we called it in,” Owen said.

“I’ll meet you there,” Gabriel replied as he got out of bed.

He turned to Andrea again once he hung up the phone, the feeling of helplessness sinking deeper into his body and he could see his own fear reflected back at him.

He didn’t really know where to begin, but he settled for, “the boys are in danger.”

He wasted no time in getting dressed and driving towards the condo, sending silent prayer after prayer that the boys were okay, that Owen would get there in time. He didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he gets a phone call with his son’s voice on the other end five minutes before he arrived. Relief washed over him, and the surge of emotions was enough to break his usually strong composure, making his hand shake as he gripped the steering wheel.

He breaks from his thoughts when he hears Carlos shakily exhale and a hand goes to cup Carlos’s face, Carlos instinctively leaning into his father’s palm.

“You made it out, son, you’re here and that’s the most important thing. We’ll figure out everything else, okay?”

Carlos nods again and starts composing himself, his hands going to hold at the blanket around him and adjusts it over his shoulders.

Gabriel gently pats his cheek and gives him a sad smile before withdrawing his hand and they make their way over to TK and the others.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Gabriel tells TK, lightly clapping him on the shoulder.

“Thank you, sir,” TK responds, moving back to Carlos’s side.

“Owen,” Gabriel then extends his hand towards the fire captain, “thank you.”

Owen nods and shakes Gabriel’s hand. “It wasn’t just me, though.”

Gabriel then looks at Judd, Tommy and Billy. “Thank you all, truly.”

“Don’t mention it,” Judd replies. “Carlos is family and we do anything for family.”

Gabriel’s heart swells at Judd’s statement and at seeing that there’s a village of people looking out for his son.

Gabriel nods his thanks at Judd before turning to Tommy. “Captain Vega, thank you for being here.”

The Paramedic Captain nods. “Of course, I wanted to make sure the boys were okay for myself.”

“They’re going to be okay?”

“Dad…” Carlos groans.

“This is for your mother,” Gabriel turns to look at Carlos. “She made me promise to make absolute sure that you’re okay, from everyone.”

“They’re okay,” Tommy confirms. “I checked them both over myself, they’re going to be a little tired and weak for a few days, so they have to take it easy,” she pauses to look directly at TK, who shifts on his feet under the attention and leans into Carlos, “but they’ll be recovered in less than a week,” she continues. “They just need to rest.”

Satisfied, Gabriel nods. His eyes move back to Carlos, who’s looking at the few scorched frames that are still standing. Gabriel feels the guilt start to build again, both at seeing the ruined house and the broken look on Carlos’s face. He knows he’ll have to talk to Carlos about this, to tell him what caused this. He’s worried it’s going to cause another rift in their relationship they’ve only started to mend, but he knows that he’d deserve that if it happens. He kept information from his son and his son lost his home, his son almost didn’t make it out. His guilt is only increased at missing the true meaning behind Raymond’s threat. It was right there, right in front of him, but he missed it. He can’t help but wonder if only he had caught it before, if he had realized, maybe this tragedy wouldn’t have happened. Maybe Carlos wouldn’t look so crushed right now.

But he missed it, and it almost cost him his boy. It almost cost his son the man he loves. He’s standing in these ruins and his heart clenches in his chest. Those are things he’s going to have to live with for the rest of his life. And he’s going to do whatever it takes to earn his son’s forgiveness.

Seeing how heavy and worn-out Carlos looks, Gabriel decides to keep an eye on his for the time being, to make sure he’s okay, and here. To make sure both he and TK are okay. It’s the least he could do.

Feeling his father’s gaze, Carlos turns to look at him and Gabriel responds with placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you ready to go?” Gabriel asks.

Carlos’s breath hitches a little, looking back at the house and then at TK. He knows there’s nothing to be done, the house is gone and he can’t do a single thing about it.

Besides, what remains of the house is still swarming with firefighters so he can’t go back in even if he wanted to. But still, it feels like his feet are nailed to the ground and he can’t move an inch, fixated on the burnt ash lying ahead of him.

TK appearing in his line of sight breaks Carlos out of his haze.

“Babe,” TK starts, both hands going to hold Carlos’s face. He caresses Carlos’s cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, not breaking their eye contact.

Carlos focuses on TK, on his green eyes that stand out against the black ash painting his face, and it helps calm the officer.

TK suppresses a cough before he continues. “I think you should go with your dad,” he voices. “I know being close to your parents tonight will help, baby. And I’m sure your mom wants to see you. I’ll be fine, I just want to make sure you’ll be okay.”

Carlos shakes his head at the implication that he and TK would be spending the night apart. It’s true, he knows being close to his parents will help him and his parents feel a little better, but he can’t be away from TK, not right now, not when he’s still picking up the pieces of his broken heart, when he can still feel the smoke getting thicker around them, when he can still feel the dread in his gut at the realization that this could have been the end for him and TK. Not when the fear is still coursing through his veins and the roar of the fire hadn’t completely quietened in his ears.

Carlos knows TK doesn’t want to impose and assume he can go home with Carlos to Gabriel and Andrea’s. He knows TK wants to give him what he needs. But the bottom line is, he needs TK. He won’t go anywhere without him.

Gabriel picks up on Carlos’s hesitation and jumps in. “TK is more than welcome to come with us. And he’s right, your mother is eager to see you, son. And I know she wants to make sure that TK is okay, too.”

Carlos relaxes ever so slightly at that, a little of tension in his shoulders fading away. He swallows and nods. Being apart from TK right now would have felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

With a look between TK and Owen, TK’s eyes saying I can’t leave him and a nod from the older man, it’s decided.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here,” TK promises and wraps Carlos in a hug, holding him just like he had earlier.

Carlos buries his face in TK’s neck, and underneath all the soot and sweat and ash, he could still smell the scent that is TK and it helps soothe his hammering heart.

“My phone, well,” TK tells Owen after he and Carlos separate, gesturing to the nearly empty space behind them. “I’ll text or call from Mr. Reyes’s phone.”

“Okay, son,” Owen nods, making a mental note to get TK a new phone and pulls him into a hug. “Take care of each other.”

With quick goodbyes to Owen, Tommy, Judd and Billy, the three men walk to the Ranger’s truck and climb in.

Carlos doesn’t have the energy to look back, but he steals a glimpse of what was once his home through the right side mirror. His heart feels heavy in his chest as the remaining structure gets smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing out of view. And it’s just then, it truly sinks in that almost everything he’s built for himself, is gone.

He sighs, leaning his head back against the headrest and closes his eyes. He feels the pull of sleep but there’s still residual adrenaline pumping through his veins, keep him on edge. He settles for resting his eyes and hopes it will ease the sting from the smoke.

The drive to Andrea and Gabriel’s house is spent in silence. Carlos only opens his eyes when he feels the truck slowing and comes to a stop a few moments later, followed by Gabriel turning off the ignition to indicate they’ve arrived.

Carlos takes a moment to look at his parents’ house through the window before moving to get out of the truck. The front door is torn open and he spots his mother quickly walking towards him before his feet hit the ground.

“Ma,” Carlos whispers and a second later, he’s being held in his mother’s embrace.

“Oh, Carlitos,” Andrea sighs, taking on most of Carlos’s weight as he slumps against her.

There’s a considerable height difference between them, Carlos having to lean down to hug his mother, but in this moment, in Carlos’s current state, he feels like a small boy in her arms as he further curls against her and she feels like a giant holding him close.

She doesn’t let go of Carlos, a steady arm on his back, but she extends her other to TK when he appears behind her son. He reaches out to her, their hands connecting and she gives his hand a supportive squeeze, which TK responds to with a nod. He has missed a motherly touch.

“Let’s get you boys inside,” Gabriel’s voice breaks the silence, noticing how Carlos and TK are standing on wobbly legs.

Andrea nods and reluctantly pulls back from Carlos, her eyes still glued to his face and her heart breaks some more at noticing the black botches littering his skin and the redness sitting inside his eyes.

“We’re okay, Ma,” Carlos reassures her, his voice still scratchy and low. He gives her the best smile he could muster, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

She nods again and returns the smile, unshed tears shimmering in her brown eyes. “Come on, like your father said, let’s get you inside. I made some soup and fixed up your old room for you boys,” Andrea announces as she leads the men inside.

Carlos is engulfed with memories of his childhood as soon as he walks through the door. He feels his heart lighten a little and TK was right, being here does offer some comfort he so desperately needs.

TK immediately senses that through their cosmic connection, and squeezes Carlos’s hand. Carlos glances over his shoulder and gives TK a small smile.

“I knew you’d be coming here,” Andrea continues. “Call it mother’s intuition, but I knew.”

Carlos nods and looks back at TK and they have a silent conversation then, their eyes meeting and speaking a thousands words and thoughts through brown and green gates. Concern, reassurance, love, all radiating between them, an invisible string always connecting them.

“There are some fresh towels on the bed, and I’ll reheat the soup so it’s ready when you’re done cleaning up and getting changed.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Carlos gives Andrea another hug, drawing strength from her.

She kisses his cheek when they separate and then moves to hug TK. “Thank God both of you are okay.”

Andrea and Gabriel watch as Carlos slowly leads TK up the stairs and only when they disappear down the hall does Andrea turn to her husband.

“I’d feel better if they stayed here for a few days,” she says.

Gabriel nods. “Me too.”

“They’re shaken, but they’re going to be okay, they have each other and they have us and Owen, TK’s team…it’s going to be okay,” Andrea expresses.

Upstairs, TK follows Carlos into the room and closes the door behind them. Carlos takes TK’s shock blanket and discards both blankets into the laundry bin next to the door. With a heavy sigh, he drops on the edge of the bed, leaning forward and places his face in his hands.

TK wants to look around the room, to catch glimpses of Carlos’s childhood and teen years in the books and comics lined up on the shelves, in the posters hung on the walls, in the certificates proudly framed and the medals and trophies neatly organized together. But he pushes that to the side for now, he can do that later. Right now, Carlos needs him.

TK moves towards the bed and sits on Carlos’s left. He wraps an arm around Carlos’s hunched shoulders and draws him close, the officer easily going with him. Carlos removes his face from his hands and settles against TK’s chest, closing his eyes when he feels the kiss TK drops to the top of his head.

Carlos’s hair smells of smoke and ash but TK can smell his boyfriend’s mint-scented shampoo underneath it all. In more ways than one, that mint scent has become TK’s home.

There are no words to be said, not really, so they just stay like that for what seems like hours. TK holding Carlos, running a hand up and down his arm while Carlos listens to TK’s heartbeat as it echoes against his ear, strong and steady. And in its own way, this moment says everything that needs to be said.

TK is the one to break the silence.

“We should get cleaned up, babe,” TK whispers, not wanting to completely shatter the quiet. “And then we’ll have some soup and we’ll sleep.”

Carlos untangles himself from TK but remains close to him, their thighs and sides still touching. He knows sleeping won’t be easy, that there are likely a few nightmares awaiting in the dark, and he knows TK knows that too, but he doesn’t voice it. Instead he nods, eyes drifting to the towels next to them.

“Don’t worry about those, I’ll get them,” TK says, breathing through the urge to cough but a couple of cough escape through his lips. “Do you want to shower alone or together?”

“Together,” Carlos immediately replies, and a light blush colors his cheeks.

The blush draws a light, playful chuckle from TK, and the sound brings a small smile to Carlos’s face.

“Okay, babe,” TK nods. “That’s what I was thinking, too.”

They navigate to the bathroom hand in hand, hearing a soft hum coming from downstairs as Andrea and Gabriel watch tv. TK closes and locks the door behind them, and they both start to undress. Their soiled clothes meet in a pile on the floor and Carlos’s eyes linger there for a few moments. As far as he knows, this is everything of theirs that survived the fire. A shirt, a hoodie, two pairs of sweatpants, two pairs socks and two pairs of shoes. That’s it. That is what remains of the life he, and then he and TK, had built. It sends a painful pang echoing through his chest.

The sound of the water spray hitting the marble brings him back from his thoughts, his head snapping up to see TK adjusting the water temperature.

He takes TK’s offered hand and they both step under the water, letting it run down their skin and wash away the physical evidence of the fire.

They take turns caring for each other, lathering up shampoo in their palms and running their fingers through each other’s hair as they wash away all the soot and ash and dirt. They brush soft kisses to each other’s body as they go along, kisses to shoulders, cheeks, hands, necks. Little reminders that they’re okay. They melt against each other, needing to know they’re both there, both giving and receiving in every way they can. They step out when the water starts to run clear and it gets a little cool, drying up with the towels and retreating back to Carlos’s bedroom.

Carlos opens the closet and retrieves some of the clothes he leaves there and lays them on the bed. Two pairs of sweatpants, an old police academy t-shirt for him and a similarly old police academy hoodie for TK.

TK gives him a smile when he notices the hoodie.

They change in silence and TK is about to head out but Carlos’s holds his hand to stop him. TK turns to face his boyfriend and moves back towards him.

“I just…I just need a moment,” Carlos explains, pushing out a small cough.

“Yeah, of course,” TK nods. “Whatever you need.”

Carlos hovers by the foot of the bed for a few seconds, shifting his weight between his feet and swallows. His hands begin to shake on their own accord and his head falls forward. TK instantly takes Carlos’s hands in his and applies a reassuring pressure to them, giving Carlos something to focus on and to help ground him.

“Baby, look at me,” TK pleads.

Carlos slowly lifts his gaze to meet TK’s beautiful eyes. He sees tears swimming against the green irises, sees the concern TK is carrying for him, sees TK’s own pain and fear.

“We’re okay,” TK vows. “I know this won’t go away overnight, I know there’s a lot for us to deal with, I know there’s a lot to feel. But I also know that we have each other, and we’ll rebuild our life together. I promise you. I’m not going anywhere. I swear it to you, Carlos, I’m not leaving your side. And everything you need to feel, feel it. I will be here to catch you.”

Carlos blinks, sending a tear rolling down his cheek. “I thought…when I thought we weren’t going to make it, I started missing everything we would be, everything we had yet to do together. I could see it so clearly, a flash of what we’d become together and then it was gone. I felt that loss, I felt the loss of us and it…” he shakes his head, “it hurt so much.”

TK plants a kiss to Carlos’s forehead. “I know, babe, I was scared too, because there’s still so much we didn’t do together and I was terrified we’d never get to do all those things, that it would be over when it’s only just begun for us…but we’re here, we’re alive, and we have each other,” TK wipes at Carlos’s fallen tears.

Looking into TK’s eyes, feeling and seeing his love and his passion, and feeling the love and passion he has for TK flutter in his chest in return, Carlos reevaluates an earlier thought.

Those clothes aren’t the only things that survived the fire. They survived. Their love survived.

They lost their home, yes, but Carlos realizes then, maybe home is a person. And he knows in his heart now that he found his home in TK.

TK cards his fingers through Carlos’s wet curls and touches his forehead to Carlos’s as they breathe together.

TK leans in, brushing soft kisses to each side of Carlos’s mouth and then one to his lips. Carlos moves in for another kiss when TK starts to pull back.

“Ready?” TK asks when they eventually separate after a few more exchanges of gentle kisses.

Carlos takes TK’s hand and nods, feeling the warmth of TK’s touch seeping into his skin.

“Ready,” Carlos replies and lets TK lead them out of the room and down the stairs where Andrea and Gabriel greet them with soft smiles.

And watching the love of his life engaged in a light conversation with his mother as she serves their food, and feeling his father’s reassurance presence at his side, Carlos nods to himself.

His eyes move back to land on TK, who softly laughs at something Andrea said and Carlos’s own lips curl upwards into a smile at the sight.

Carlos knows it’s going to be a tough road ahead, but for the first time since discovering the fire, hope starts to blossom in his chest.

Sensing his gaze, TK turns, easily finding Carlos’s eyes. For a moment, the rest of the house disappears and it’s just the two of them as they exchange the smiles that are reserved only for each other.

TK turns to Andrea when she says something and with his eyes still focused on TK, Carlos thinks, yeah, we remain.

[detectivereyes]

Even If You Stumble A Step, You’re Still Moving Forward

Summary: TK and Carlos move into their new home post-finale and TK doesn't exactly make the best first impression on their new neighbors...

Notes: this was like a fever dream i had a few months ago and then i stopped writing but decided to revive it last night so... here we are. also title creds (and emotional support creds) to jillian @marjansmarwani​ because this fic wouldn’t exist without her. and also s/o to brit @moviegeek03​ for being extra supportive of yet another fic where [spoiler] tk falls down the stairs again :/

read on ao3

TK shuffles through the maze of boxes stacked several feet high throughout their new home. The scene shouldn’t surprise him considering it was only a few months ago he was moving his own boxes into their old home. However it feels different knowing that most of this stuff isn’t actually theirs.

Well, it is theirs now he figures. But the fact remains that most of the stuff filling the space was either given to them by various members of the extended 126 family, or was recently purchased by TK or Carlos on one of their many trips to Bed Bath and Beyond. 

They had taken their time searching for a new place to live. Owen had made it clear that they were both welcome to stay with him (and Mateo) for as long as they needed, but TK had known it was time.

So when a townhome popped up on Zillow that met all their criteria, they wasted no time booking an appointment with the realtor. They both had instantly fallen in love with the open floor plan and deck out back. Plus they knew the extra bedrooms upstairs may come in handy someday.

While they knew the vertical layout of the home itself wasn’t the best, having more stairs than either of them were used to, it checked every other box and was right in their price range so they had wasted no time signing the lease.

A few days had passed since settlement and now most of their days were spent trying to unpack and make this new house into a home. It would never replace the one they had lost, but it had been exciting to build this new home together.

Though on this particular day, TK found himself alone in trying to get settled in since Carlos had a shift. With the 126 still out of commission, possibly forever, and the department not having any openings for paramedics, most of the unpacking was left for TK.

After getting a good chunk of the living room done, he checks the time and decides to go out and see if the mail has come yet. Not that he’s expecting anything with their address still being so new, and not getting much physical mail anyway to begin with. But it still provided a good excuse to take a break.

TK opens the front door and starts to make his way down the set of stairs leading down. 

He makes it about halfway before his attention is caught by one of his new next door neighbors, Mr. Martin- if he remembers correctly, exiting at the same time. Mr. Martin gives a friendly wave and TK goes to return the gesture.

Except, he’s not paying attention when he takes the next step, and he misses, his heel just barely hitting the edge of the step before he starts to go down. He tumbles until he comes to a hard stop at the bottom, with most of his weight coming down on his right knee, sending shooting pains up and down his leg.

The rest of his body is sore, and by the time his ears stop ringing, he can just barely make out a new female voice asking “Sir, are you okay?”

He opens his eyes, which he had not even realized he had squeezed shut at some point, to see his neighbor, Mrs. Bailey- his brain supplies, from across the street making her way over to check on him, worried lines painting across her forehead.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m fine,” he grimaces while pushing himself up to a seated position. He tries to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. Not the best way to make a good first impression on his neighbors.

“Are you sure, son? We can call for help if you need it. Someone you know, or 9-1-1?” Mr. Martin joins in the conversation.

“No!” TK interjects too quickly, startling both neighbors. He panics for a moment when the weight of the predicament settles in. He meets the gaze of both figures still staring at him, clearly concerned and waiting for him to say something. “I mean, I’m a paramedic. I’m fine. Or I will be fine. Thank you,” he flashes them both a quick smile before pushing himself up off the ground, ignoring the sharp pains that radiate from his knee when he tries to put any weight on it.

Getting back up the stairs is no easy feat, and he doesn’t have to turn around to know that both Mr. Martin and Mrs. Bailey are still watching him, concerned. Fortunately, they don’t know him well enough to try and follow or help. He’s not sure he would feel comfortable enough receiving help from some strangers. Half the time he doesn’t even feel comfortable receiving help from the people he does know.

He leans heavily on the railing, refusing to turn around out of fear of further mortification. Once he’s inside the home, he collapses right inside the hall, unable to go any further since his knee decided to stop cooperating.

A few tears pool in his eyes, and he’s unsure if that’s due to the pain or embarrassment. Not knowing what else to do, he takes out his phone and shoots a quick text to Carlos.

TK: we have to move

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the three dots to pop up before being replaced by Carlos’ response.

Carlos: ???

TK sighs and rubs his face, trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation.

TK: i feel down the stairs out front and all the neighbors saw

Carlos: Holy shit, are you okay??

He lets out a puff of air at that.

TK: you mean besides my bruised ego?

TK: no, i hurt my knee but i’m fine. that’s not the issue here.

Carlos: Okay, I’ll be home in an hour and you can let me be the judge of that. If I see any swelling, we’re going to the doctor.”

He rolls his eyes at Carlos’ worry. At worst, it’s a bad sprain, nothing that can’t be fixed with some icing and wrapping. But there are other things they need to worry about.

TK: you’re missing the point, carlos. the entire neighborhood thinks i’m an idiot. we can’t live here anymore.

TK knows he’s being dramatic, but the more he thinks about it, the more embarrassed he gets. The idea that these are people he’s going to have to continue to face everyday for the foreseeable future. And that now all they’ll be able to think about when they do see him. Now he’ll just be known as the guy who can’t walk down stairs.

Carlos: Relax, TK. I’ll be home soon.

TK: you mean our temporary place of residence which we will soon be moving out of

He doesn’t get a response after that. 

His mind continues to spiral while he waits for Carlos to arrive. He knows the other man is likely climbing the walls trying to leave his shift early but it would still be awhile before he could be allowed to leave.

Left alone with his thoughts, his mind keeps playing out the series of events that happened minutes ago. He can't help but beat himself up over embarrassing himself like that. Ironically enough, it’s not even the first time he’s fallen down stairs, having taken a tumble down the stairs in Carlos’ place a few months back. And of course he would manage to injure himself that time, and this time as well.

He should at least try to get up so he can find an ice pack to lessen the swelling. Sitting on the floor up against the wall can’t be doing his knee any favors. Yet he can’t bring himself to move, instead resting his head back against the wall and sighing.

TK pulls out his phone again, cycling through the apps until he hears the tell-tale keys jingling in the already unlocked door.

As soon as Carlos steps through the door, he nearly trips over TK in the doorway. “Woah, hey! TK, are you okay?” he crouches down to TK’s level.

TK shrugs. Now that he’s face to face with Carlos, he can’t help but feel suffocated by another person judging him, even if Carlos’ worry comes from a place of concern.

“Can I take a look at your knee?”

TK nods, allowing Carlos to gently inspect his swollen joint. He winces as Carlos traces his hand around his kneecap.

“This doesn’t look good, babe. I think we need to go to the hospital.”

“No, it’s fine,” he quickly shakes his head. The worried look in Carlos’ eyes only makes his heart ache, and he can only try to find ways to make it go away. “Just help me up and we can ice it. It will look better once the swelling goes down a bit.”

Carlos gives him a look that screams I don’t believe you but sighs. “Fine, but if it doesn’t…”

“I know, I know. You’ll drag my ass to the emergency room,” TK gives him a reassuring smile.

Carlos returns the smile, and extends a hand to help TK up. TK accepts, and allows Carlos to take on most of his weight once he’s standing. They slowly make their way over to the living room, with Carlos softly depositing TK onto the sofa. He then disappears into the kitchen before returning with an ice pack in hand.

“Thanks,” TK smiles, trying to mask the wince as Carlos places the pack onto his knee.

“Do you want to watch an episode of The Office?” Carlos asks, picking up the remote and settling in the spot next to TK.

TK shrugs, knowing that Carlos is just trying to appeal to him by offering to put on his favorite show. The other man doesn’t even like the show that much, often finding the humor dry and tasteless, but TK thinks he just doesn’t get it.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

There it is.

“I just can’t believe I did that in front of our new neighbors. They probably think I’m an idiot.”

“I’m sure no one thinks you’re an idiot, TK,” Carlos gently reassures him.

“Yeah all the neighbors saw me make an idiot of myself,” TK sighs exasperatedly. “God, how am I supposed to face these people everyday now?”

“Hate to break it to you babe, but this is not a valid reason for us to move.”

“I know,” he sighs again.

“Besides,” Carlos continues. “If your track record has proven anything, it’s that this won’t be the last medical emergency at our new home. It’s good that the neighbors are getting used to it now.”

TK gives him a pointed look.

“I’m pretty sure this is the second time you’ve fallen down the stairs since we’ve started dating,” Carlos says with a light chuckle.

“Whatever,” TK scoffs. “At least the other time it wasn’t in front of total strangers.”

Carlos softens. “That’s true. But I’m sure the neighbors just care about you. I don’t think this is that big of a deal, TK.”

“You weren’t there though. It was mortifying.”

“What did they say, exactly?”

TK nervously looks down. “They asked if I was okay. And if I needed any help.”

Carlos raises his eyebrow, waiting to see if TK continues. 

“They offered to call for help but I said no and went back inside.”

“See? They just care about you TK. I haven’t really talked to anyone yet but they seem like nice people.”

“I guess,” TK shrugs.

“I know, you’re still embarrassed. But if nothing else, they’ll probably forget about it by the next time we see them.”

“You don’t think I’ll be known as the ‘clumsy neighbor who can’t walk down stairs’?”

“Maybe the ‘cute clumsy neighbor that can’t walk down stairs,’” Carlos says with a smirk. “But we could always change that.”

TK cocks his head to the side. 

“You think our new neighbors might enjoy some peach scones when we go over and have a proper introduction?”

“You really plan to charm our new neighbors with your baking?” 

“You think it will work?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then yes, I do,” Carlos grins proudly. He then leans over and gently removes the ice pack from TK’s knee, grimacing at what he sees. “This still looks pretty swollen, babe. I think we need to go to the hospital.”

TK gives him a pained smile. “You sure I can’t talk my way out of this?”

“Nope,” Carlos says, popping the p. He stands up before extending his hand to help TK do the same.

TK accepts, shifting his weight and leaning into Carlos once he’s fully upright. 

“You know, I think you may have a paramedic blindspot when it comes to your own health.”

TK lets out a light laugh. “Yeah, I’ve been told.”

A week later, Carlos softly knocks on the door of Mrs. Bailey’s home across the street with one hand and a plate of peach scones in the other. TK had offered to hold the scones but when they went over to Mr. Martin's home earlier in the day, it was quickly discovered it was too difficult for him to manage getting up the stairs and holding the plate.

So he settles for letting Carlos do most of the work while he awkwardly limps up the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing to keep some pressure off his knee.

After their quick trip to the emergency room, it had been determined that TK’s initial assessment was right and it was just a bad sprain. He was given a brace to help reduce the pain and a pair of crutches, which (much to Carlos’ dismay) he abandoned after only two days, citing that they only made it harder to get around their home which he can now say for certain has too many damn stairs.

A problem which seems to follow him as he also has to get up the stairs to greet his neighbors.

“Maybe we should have moved to a neighborhood of single level homes,” he states with a wince as he joins Carlos at the front door.

Carlos snorts. “We can take it into consideration if we ever have to move again.”

“God, please don’t say that. I don’t want to think about moving ever again.”

“Good,” Carlos gives him a soft smile. “Because I’m planning on staying here for the long run.”

“Me too,” TK returns the smile just as Mrs. Bailey opens the door.

“What a lovely surprise!” she exclaims taking in the sight of the two men. 

“Hello ma’am,” Carlos says with a polite smile.

“We brought you some scones,” TK adds, gesturing to the plate in Carlos’ hands.

“Oh how thoughtful of you. Please come in. How are you doing?” she asks, turning to TK. “I’ve been worried.”

He exchanges a look with Carlos, the other man's face clearly saying I told you she cares, before turning back to Mrs. Bailey.

“I’m fine, ma’am. Thank you for asking. It’s just a bad sprain. But I do appreciate your concern, especially the other week.”

“Oh, of course dear,” she says with a warm smile. “Now, you boys aren’t going to make me eat these scones all by myself are you?”

They both let out a light chuckle and exchange another glance before following their new neighbor, and friend inside.

[justapoet]

About the scene where TK pushes Carlos at the firehouse — I put on Twitter and I'm gonna put it here, too.

I got surprised, but I don't think it didn't fit. TK has been through a lot and, while Carlos is more rational and can think things through, TK so desperately needs to feel something that he gets carried away by any feeling he can get. The bar fight was an example, and so was the fight with Judd.

And I suppose the "everything's grey" relates to it. Things are apparently going well, and suddenly everything falls apart — it's such a fall from a happy state to a chaotic one that he doesn't know how to feel, so he feels numb. There are so many feelings together that he doesn't know which one to amplify or highlight.

Because, now, Owen was finally fine, seemed to see him again — the dinner went well, after all —; he was living with Carlos, his in-laws liked him, he was doing great as a paramedic... And, suddenly, Owen is arrested for supposedly being a maniac by one of his in-laws.

It's jumping from a bridge to a river and not knowing how to swim.

So, he gets carried away because, if he bottles things up, he ends up on the floor, with a bottle beside his unmoving body. Carlos was the easiest person to snap on since he was right there and could just walk away — he wouldn't have to see his face while working, and he could avoid seeing him for a while.

It wasn't out of character, and I think it might build up to something as a near-relapse. He doesn't know how not to bottle his feelings up, but he also doesn't know how to deal with them in the open. He feels lost, he feels hollow, empty, angry, sad, hurt, desperate — and anger has always been the easiest one to let other people see, after all.

Also, anger is the most shallow of all feelings he had, because it wasn't something he needed to dig deep to explain. His father was arrested, and that was enough reason for him to feel what he was feeling — for him to be mad. Therefore, letting it out was something easier to do.

Let me be clear, though: it doesn't change anything about how TK should've apologized to Carlos. He should've, and he still should do it anyway.

In my vision, though, there's something behind how much Carlos blames himself over things he can't have control.

Why does he feel like he doesn't have to be apologized to, but his first reaction after the fire that burned his house down was to apologize for not having a fire extinguisher upstairs, in the bedroom?

[benjaminrussell]

911 Lone Star Angst Week Masterpost

Here’s all the fics I wrote for @911lonestarangstweek round 2. I challenged myself both by writing whump and by writing them all in present tense, so it’s been a great event!

For full tags etc, see AO3.

Day 1: C - Carlos + Choke Choke on the Memories [ T | 0.8k ]

In the aftermath of the house fire, Carlos has nightmares. Thankfully TK is there to comfort him when he wakes up.

Day 2: G - Grace + Gunshot Six Shots in a Loaded Gun [ T | 1.5k ]

A simple grocery run turns into a hostage situation, and Grace has to channel her ability to keep calm while dealing with other people’s emergencies into her own, very real one.

Day 3: J - Judd + Jealous Jealous of the Wind [ M | 3.2k ]

Judd doesn’t realise it, but he has a stalker. A stalker convinced that Judd ruined their relationship and who’s out for revenge. When they meet, it starts with Judd being kidnapped and only goes downhill from there, until Judd isn’t sure whether he’s ever going to make it home to Grace.

Day 4: M - Marjan&Mateo + Missing Isn’t Someone Missing Us? [ T | 3k ]

When Marjan and Mateo don’t turn up for a shift, the others know something’s wrong but can’t contact them to find out what happened and whether they need help. Meanwhile, the missing firefighters have to work together if they want to make it out of the perilous situation that they’ve found themselves in.

Day 5: N - Nancy + Nights Nights That Never Die [ T | 2k ]

Nancy’s heading home from the bar, a walk she’s done many times before, when she interrupts an assault. She tries to help but only gets hurt for her trouble, and so has to fight to keep both herself and the victim alive.

Day 7: P - Paul + Pinned Pinned Like a Butterfly [ T | 2.4k ]

The 126 are clearing a burning warehouse when something explodes and in the resulting destruction, Paul gets pinned. Unable to free himself and being confronted by the arsonist, will his friends get to him in time before the fire engulfs the entire building?

Day 8: T - TK&Tommy(&Tim) + Trapdoor Fall Through a Bleeding Trapdoor [ T | 2.5k ]

EMS 126 get sent to treat a man who slipped and hit his head, and Tommy and TK inadvertently stumble upon a crime scene.

[lonestardaily]

Each week Lone Star Daily looks to provide you with a decent (not comprehensive) list of the fanfics that have been posted for the week. The week runs from Friday - Thursday, as that way it does give us an opportunity to put the list together. There’s no requirement to tag us as we will check the tags #911 lone star fic and #911lsfic while also combing through ao3. We currently are only going to post new fics, not updates. You can check out this week’s fics below the cut.

Please feel free to give this post a boost to give our writers a chance to receive some love for the work they do for the fandom.

(if your fic is not tagged with a tumblr, it’s because we couldn’t find one - feel free to send us a message and we’ll be happy to add one)

TARLOS FICS

forever & always by @binancygillian

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | G | 7.1K)

He'd been right about only having so many moments with Carlos. He just didn't expect it to come to an end so soon after getting engaged to the love of his life. They'd wasted too many moments, those handful of months they were broken up taking up precious time. Now he has one more loss to add to his scarred past.

You were hurt, but I felt the pain by @sapphire11

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | M | 6.8K)

TK stumbles into a bad situation at home and Carlos races in to save him. Of course nothing is ever that easy with them and things quickly turn from bad to worse. \

(not afraid of) living on a fault line by @reyesstrand

↳  (TK x Carlos | Coda | T | 2.8K)

TK opens his eyes. A sliver a moonlight cuts delicately across Carlos' face and along the top of his shoulder, and it feels...holy, maybe, kind of like they're being reborn. He surges up to kiss him, feeling it finally sinking in that he really gets to have this—that they get to have this.

i am desperate if nothing else by @terramous

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | N/R | 3.9K)

TK was the first one into the stall, catching sight of the sweat-slicked black curls that made his heart leap to his throat. “Alright can I get some space with the patient please?”

The officers parted easily, leaving TK to kneel on the floor of the bathroom stall and sling his bag off of his shoulder, unzipping it quickly. Carlos was leaning heavily against the side, sweat dripping off of him by the bucket. From what he had gathered from the other officer’s story, there was no way Carlos wasn’t dehydrated by now.

start of something good by @stories-in-howls

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | T | 8.9K)

Carlos has to step in when someone is distracting a service dog from doing his work. He helps the owner and later can't get him out of his head.

the easy way out and the hardest part by @terramous

↳  (TK x Carlos, TK x Andrea | Hurt/Comfort | N/R | 1.7K)

He’d watched his father get caught in too many collapsing buildings to count, it was his thing, apparently. Hell he’d pulled his father out of multiple, after minutes or hours of waiting with baited breath, thinking that he’d wasted his last opportunity to see his dad alive. He’d watched his team scramble for any signs as to how they could get Judd out again. Heard about the collapsed gym that nearly took Paul’s life.

So clearly the universe had decided that it was his turn, after all, you can never have too many near death experiences. At least if you’re TK Strand and you might as well be medically declared to be immortal.

i’m yours to choose by @kiras-sunshine

↳  (TK x Carlos | Coda  | T | 3.6K)

a series of short tarlos one shots based on a list of reassurance prompts

the water’s getting colder, let me in your ocean by @terramous

↳  (TK x Carlos |  PWP | E | 3K)

“Yeah,” TK said, straightening his back and extending a hand like he usually did when he wanted Carlos to take it. “You.”

TK Strand was going to be the death of him.

“Can I shower first?” Carlos asked, not even surprised when he was met with TK shaking his head and dragging his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I need you, now.”

Carlos was a first responder after all, if someone needed him he was there to help.

we can carry allt his weight together by @terramous

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Hurt/Comfort | N/R | 1.8K)

“I got an interesting call today,” he hummed, sweeping over to the other side of the kitchen, retrieving a pair of mugs.

Carlos perked up at that, what an odd way to start a conversation. “Yeah?”

“Um, yeah, I’m pretty sure they couldn’t reach you and also had my number on file.”

to tell the world by falloutmars

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Fluff | G | 1.2K)

TK and Carlos go grocery shopping for their engagement party.

with every breath i take, a thousand times yes by westallenkiss

↳  (TK x Carlos, Carlos x Michelle |  Fluff | T | 1.8K)

TK and Carlos wake up engaged, it really happened. Carlos needs to tell his best friend the news and TK over hears everything and becomes a sobbing mess.

engagment heat by Ruby_slippers

↳  (TK x Carlos | Fluff | E | 1.1K)

TK is hot for Carlos, has been from the minute that he met him. He didn't think that he could get any hotter for him. But that engagement ring on Carlos's finger is doing strange things to him...

"Do you want me to take it off, will that calm you down?"

Tears fill TK's eyes "NO! I never want you to take it off, ever. Please tell me you won't."

"I won't baby, just get control of yourself."

All my Nights with You by @ramblingdisaster73

↳  (TK x Carlos |  5+1 | T | 6.9K)

5 Times TK keeps/wakes Carlos up in the middle of the night

+ 1 Time Carlos keeps/wakes up TK

The Altar is My Hips by @iboatedhere

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Marriage Smut | E | 1.6K)

Carlos presses TK back against the bathroom door and locks it.

It’s the first time Carlos has taken a hand off of him since….god, TK doesn’t know when.

The Ring-In by ifyoustay & LolaLand

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Fluff/Mild Angst | M | 9K)

When TK receives a call from an old friend offering him a last minute invite to a wedding in Hawaii, he jumps at the chance to finally wrangle his fiancé into a vacation. Unfortunately, TK isn't the only old friend invited.

A Thousand Times Yes by @chaotictarlos

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Fluff & Smut | E | 1.9K)

TK and Carlos celebrate their engagement.

My One and Only by @ravens-words

↳  (TK x Carlos, TK x Alex |  Angst | T | 1.2K)

 "No." Fueled by anger, he managed to wrench his hand out of Alex's and shoved him away. "I'm happy here. I have someone I love, someone I trust, waiting for me at home. I built a life for myself here, and there's no room for you in it. Leave, Alex," he said through gritted teeth, and shoved past him.

 "Did you ask him to marry you?"

 TK froze and turned around slowly. "I did."

 "Where's your ring then?" he pressed. "Where's his?"

 “Leave," he said, and with that, he walked away.

A Blast from The Past by @rangergurlgleek1211

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Hurt/Comfort | N/R | 3K)

It's been three years and Tk and Carlos are happy, they have a routine and can't wait to spend every spare moment together. Tk thought his day was going to be wonderful, until an unexpected guest shows up and knocks him off his feet, literally.

I’d never ask for anything again by Road1985

↳  (TK x Carlos |  Future Fic | G | 2.6K)

It's been five years since TK and Alex have seen each other.... not after what happened. Now a photo posted by TK to celebrate Tomas' second birthday makes Alex think it's time to make things right with him or at least talk to each other again and maybe... just maybe, apologize for what happened.

crash into my heart by @halsteadmarchs

↳  (TK x Carlos | Hurt/Comfort | T | 2K)

The pieces in the air were coming down from the broken roof and sprinkling around the broken structure. It was settling around him enough that he couldn’t see his hand more than two feet in front of him. The metal on his finger was feeling tighter and tighter as he felt a wave of pain go through his thigh as he saw a long piece of metal jabbing through it. All he could think about at this moment was that he would never be able to slide the matching ring onto his fiancé’s finger.

 Why did this day have to go so wrong?

 He was just meant to be buying some food for the party.

 Their engagement party.

OTHER PAIRINGS/CHARCTER FICS

my future by @marwani-strickland

↳  (Carlos x Andrea x Gabriel | Coda | T | 1.2K)

carlos tells gabriel and andrea about his and tk's engagement.

[buckybarnesalways]

in this world full of people, there's one loving me

It started out as a normal day. TK woke up cocooned in Carlos’ arms. Seeing that his boyfriend was still asleep, he snuggled in closer and smiled as he felt arms tighten around him. Even in sleep Carlos’ need to hold on to TK was overwhelming. Opening his eyes, Carlos planted a kiss to the top of TK ’s head.

"Good morning, baby ." he rasped, voice still thick with sleep.

Tk looked up at the sound of Carlos’ voice and replied, "It's always a good morning when I wake up in your arms." He flashed his smile that always drove Carlos wild.

He leaned up and captured Carlos’ lips with his in a languid kiss.

"Can we just stay in bed and do this all day?" Carlos asked, smiling down at TK.

"As much as I would love that, we both have a shift in a few hours." TK answered back.

Carlos let his head fall back against his pillow with a dramatic sigh causing TK to giggle.

"Babe we can always lay in bed and make out tomorrow morning on our day off." TK said, placing a kiss on Carlos’ bare chest.

A shiver rolled through Carlos at the feeling of TKs lips and he said, with a pout "That's too long from now, I want to kiss my boyfriend all day right now."

TK pushed himself up and out of bed.

"I guess you’ll just have to use that as an incentive to make it back home!"

Then he laughed and made his way to the bathroom to get ready for work. He was in the shower when he felt Carlos wrap his arms around his waist and place a kiss at the nape of his neck.

"I don't need an incentive to come home to you, Ty." Carlos said quietly.

TK turned around to face Carlos and gently kissed him before saying, "Just knowing you're waiting for me is what keeps me going while on shift."

Carlos smiled, "Now if you could just stay out of danger."

Carlos didn't know then that those words would come back to haunt him.

TK rolled his eyes and turned to continue his shower. They gave each other a lingering kiss as they parted ways, both heading off to their jobs.

Tk walked into the fire house with a huge grin on his face and waved at Nancy as he walked into the locker room. Judd looked at him with a grin of his own.

"Lover boy got you in a good mood today?"

TK blushed and tried to duck his head so Judd wouldn't see.

"That's a definite yes then." Judd replied in his deep southern drawl.

"How do you know it's because of Carlos?" TK asked.

"Well unless there's a new species of giant mosquitos, I'd say that mark on your neck is proof enough."

"What!?" TK exclaimed, rushing to look in the mirror. "Oh my god I can't believe he did this, knowing i had a shift today!"

He was definitely blushing now as he looked wide eyed at Judd.

"Is it really that noticeable?" he asked.

"Nah, it's totally not,'' Judd said "unless you can't see."

He laughed as he left TK alone in the locker room. TK immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a message to Carlos,

"I can't believe you left a mark for everyone to see!"

He put his things away and walked into the kitchen when his phone dinged. Pulling it from his pocket he saw Carlos had responded. He opened the message and grinned,

"You can't believe that I left one mark? At least you don't have to hear the teasing because your chest is covered in them!".

"Hey i gotta let everyone know your mine somehow!" TK sent back.

Carlos replied seconds later, "That's why I left mine where everyone could clearly see it. You just better be glad I love you.

Carlos’ answer made him smile even wider.

"Always."

TK felt his heart flutter as he reread Carlos’ message. He was still staring at his phone when he heard his dad's voice.

"Were you talking to me?'' he asked, pocketing his phone.

"I was just commenting on how happy you looked, it's nice seeing it." Owen told his son.

TK started to reply just as the alarm bell sounded. They ran to their respective vehicles and sped off. If TK had known what was going to happen to him, he would have taken Carlos up on his offer that morning.

They arrived at the scene, piling out of the ambulance. TK immediately noticed the familiar police cruiser parked a little ways away.

"So what are we looking at?" Owen asked as Carlos walked up to the team, smiling quickly at TK.

"A couple of guys robbed a store and when they saw the cops, they bolted and tried to hole up here. I guess they thought starting a fire on the bottom floor while they hid on the second floor would deter the police."

"Criminals are really dumb…" Mateo deadpanned.

"Alright everyone, let's get to work!" Owen ordered.

"TK, you're gonna go in with Captain Strand, there may be victims that need help immediately,'' Tommy said.

"Got it, Cap!" he answered, rushing in behind his father.

Tk found one guy with minor injuries, he bent down to examine him closer but the guy panicked and shoved TK away. As he stumbled backward his foot caught on something and he fell to the ground. When he landed he felt a searing pain in his side, as he looked down to see what the source of the excruciating feeling was, he saw the man he had been trying to help run off. Groaning he began to assess his body, when he saw the huge nail protruding through his back and out his stomach, he shouted for his dad.

Owen appeared and his heart dropped instantly.

"TK! What happened!?"

"Guy panicked and shoved me. I tripped and fell and apparently landed on this board" he told his dad. "Just get me up and outside we can fix it."

Owen reached down and began trying to lift TK up but stopped when he realized that the board wasn't moving. Then he saw the reason why. A huge beam had fallen and splintered and TK had landed just right on one of the cracked pieces. Unfortunately the piece had not completely broken off the beam and was currently wedged underneath the heaviest part.

"TK, son, listen to me, ok? I'm going to have to pull you off this nail." Owen said, exasperated.

"Dad, ''TK said the word slurring a little as the pain was getting to him.

"I know son, this is going to hurt," Owen said as he began pulling TK up.

As soon as TK was completely off the board he started bleeding profusely. Owen threw him over his shoulder and ran as fast as he could. Exiting the building, he started yelling for Tommy and Nancy. They ran over with the stretcher and Owen gingerly laid his boy down as he relayed what had happened.

Carlos was by his side in an instant. He clamped his hands over his lovers wound and TK all but begged, "Carlos whatever you do, please don't look."

Carlos looked at TK, "Babe, you're hurt. I need to see."

"No, Los, it's bad. I don't want you to see it." He argued.

"We really need to get him to the hospital." Tommy stated.

"Of course." Carlos answered. "I'm coming with him."

They loaded him into the ambulance and Tommy immediately went to work.

"Ty, I know you don't want me to but Tommy can't work on it if you won't let her because you don't want me to see." he said, trying to keep his voice firm so TK couldn't hear the fear.

TK looked into his eyes and Carlos almost lost it. He could see how terrified TK was. Tears began falling from TKs eyes.

"Shhhh. " Carlos whispered as he reached down and gently moved TKs hands from where he was still holding the wound. Tommy opened his shirt and Carlos gasped at the amount of blood. The wound itself was horrible, somehow, when Owen was lifting him, the nail had torn sideways thus stretching the hole. Carlos looked away, trying to hide the tears. A weak squeeze to his hand brought him back and he looked at TK.

"Baby, I'll be ok," he said comfortingly.

Carlos wanted to believe him but with the amount of blood loss, he didn't know if it was possible for his boy to be ok. TKs eyes began drifting closed and Carlos knew enough to know he needed to stay awake. He leaned down and held TKs face as he placed a kiss on his forehead .

"Hey, Love, I know you're tired and it hurts but i need you to stay awake." Taking his hand, Carlos lifted it and held it against his chest. "Please Tyler.'' he begged.

TK tried to smile as he looked at Carlos and whispered, "I love you, Los. Please always remember that."

"Hey no, Tyler, you don't talk like that . You're gonna be fine, plus we have plans in the morning remember?".

TK barley nodded his head. "I know, Los... I know…" and then his eyes closed and no matter how much Carlos pleaded, he wouldn't open them.

They finally arrived at the hospital Tommy handed him off to the doctors, who started wheeling him back to the operating room. Carlos was still clinging to his hand when they reached the double doors and a nurse told him he had to stay behind. Nodding his head, Carlos laid TKs hand down and stood there as they wheeled his heart farther away from him and out of sight.

He turned to see the 126 crew rush in through the doors, then his knees gave out and he crumbled. He would have hit the floor but somehow Judd reached him before that happened. He clutched at Judds shirt and screamed.

"I know buddy, he's going to be ok, they'll get him back to you,'' Judd tried to soothe the man sobbing in his arms.

When Carlos was able to get a hold of himself, Judd helped him stand.

"Thank you.'' he said to Judd.

"Don't worry about it, I'd be the same way if it was my Grace.'' Judd replied.

They sat down in the waiting area, Carlos still crying quietly to himself. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there when he heard a familiar voice next to him. He turned his head and saw Michelle, his best friend. She wasn't alone though, behind her, his parents stood together.

"I knew you would need us all." she said to him.

Carlos stood and walked to his parents wiping at his face.

"Mama, Dad." he said.

"Carlito, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.'' his mother said to him, placing a hand on his arm.

Carlos choked back a sob at her words. He knew he had to tell them, TK was so much more than a friend...

Michelle took his hand to show her support.

"TK isn't my friend," he said, averting his gaze. "He's my boyfriend and the love of my life."

"Oh mijo!'' his mother said, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Mama. "He said. "I was scared how you would react, I should have told you. I hurt TK so much that day!" he rambled.

"Carlos, " his father finally said, "it's alright. We can talk about that later, right now we're going to focus on making sure TK is going to be ok."

Pulling away from his mother he reached for his father embracing him and whispering a small thank you. Gabriel patted his son on the back as he held him. They let go of each other and took a seat.

"So," Andrea spoke up, "tell us about this boy. I want to know all about the person who has stolen my son's heart."

So Carlos started at the beginning he told them about how they met, their first date, the moment he realized he was falling for TK. He talked for hours without realizing the passing of time. Just as he stopped, he saw a doctor walk in. He rose to his feet before they even walked over.

"Tyler Strands family?" the doctor inquired.

Owen joined him.

"It's TK." Carlos responded. How is he? Please tell me he's ok?"

"He made it through surgery and he should be fine. He lost a lot of blood though and we’re worried about infection since the injury happened in an abandoned building."

Carlos felt a small weight lift from his shoulders and he asked, "When can we see him? I need to see him."

"As soon as he's set up in a room, he can receive visitors but only two at a time please.' the doctor answered.

"Of course. Thank you, Doctor ." Owen said, shaking the man's hand.

As the doctor walked away, Owen turned to Carlos, "I know you want to see him but I think me and his mother should be the first ones."

"You're joking, right?!" Carlos said, his voice angry. "You want me to wait to see the most important person in my life so that the two people who have done nothing but break his heart these last few months can see him first?!"

"Son," Gabriel said, placing a hand on his shoulder, " They're his parents."

Carlos sighed, "I'm sorry...I just really need to see him but your right... His parents should be first."

He sat back in his chair, clenching his fists.

A nurse walked in and relayed that TK could now receive visitors. Owen and Gwen stepped forward and the nurse ushered them to his room.

Michelle reached over and pried Carlos’ hand open, slipping her hand into his. He looked at her and sighed. He sat back to wait for TKs parents to return.

About 30 minutes later, Gwen walked back into the waiting room and approached Carlos.

"You can go see him now. Owen wanted to stay with him but I knew how much you were hurting and needed to see him."

He gave her an affirming nod and almost ran to TKs room. He walked into the room and took a shaky breath as he saw TK. He rushed over and took his hand.

"Hey, Ty, baby I'm here now." he said.

Owen sat down on one side of the bed and Carlos sat on the other. Both men were silent as they waited for their boy to wake up.

Nearly an hour later, Carlos felt a small movement from the hand he was holding.

"Ty, are you awake? Open your eyes, baby, please." Carlos said, jumping up from the bed.

Slowly, TK peeled his eyes open and gazed at Carlos.

"Los?" he rasped.

"Shhh baby, I'm right here." Carlos said, reaching out and stroking his cheek.

Owen went to get a doctor, leaving Carlos alone with TK.

"I'm so glad you're awake." Carlos said to him. " I was so scared I was going to lose you."

TK tried to answer but his throat was dry and he couldn't speak. Carlos poured him a glass of water and helped him take a few sips.

After a moment TK spoke, " I'm sorry I scared you, Los, and of course I came back to you. My incentive was too good to pass up." he smiled when Carlos let out a small chuckle.

Owen and the doctor arrived.

"Glad to see you back with us, Mr. Strand." the doctor said. " I just have a few things to go over and then I'll leave you alone, alright?"

"That's fine.'' TK answered as the doctor began going through his checklist.

When the doctor was finished and had left the room, Owen spoke up,

"I'm going to go tell everyone the good news." He placed a hand on TKs shoulder. "I'm so glad to see you awake, son."

He left the room and TK looked at Carlos, who had been staring at him the whole time.

"Whose all here? He asked Carlos.

"The entirety of the 126, Grace, Tommy’s husband, Michelle and…" he paused, afraid of how TK would react to his parents being there. "My mom and dad are here as well" he finished.

TK looked at him, "Baby, please tell me that you didn't have to censor your feelings tonight?"

Carlos shook his head," I told them who you are to me and they actually didn't mind at all. They still want to have a conversation about why I lied but they're willing to wait."

" I'm glad." TK replied, " I hated seeing how much it was bothering you to lie to them.

" Can we talk about them later?" Carlos asked, " I need to do something right now."

TK answered, "Of course." and then Carlos’ lips were on his. TK smiled as they broke apart.

"Starting early I see." he joked.

Carlos answered by leaning in and kissing him again. Carlos rested his forehead against TKs and whispered, " I love you so much, Tiger."

TK whispered, " I love you too." and kissed Carlos on the cheek.

Carlos snuggled in next to him, when he was comfortable, he laughed and said, " The doctors are in for a surprise in the morning!" his eyes shined with love as he looked at TK.

" Yep, they're definitely gonna have their hands full!" he said laughing with Carlos.

They lay there together, just holding each other until sleep overtook them both.

[howlingsaturn]

and in your arms, i will find shelter (1.9k)

i wrote a little hurt/comfort cause the tarlos hug wouldn’t leave my mind so here you go, i guess? spoiler warning for 2x02 of lone star even though no names are dropped. also minor trigger warning for panic attacks and death (always with a happy ending though). stay safe everybody. <3

as you pry the hurt

from my aching body

and the grief

from my shaking hands

i realise

there's nothing more powerful

nothing more healing

than love

When the realisation hits, the weight on his shoulders becomes unbearable. He's surprised it doesn't bury him right where he stands. He takes a look at the rest of his team, small and quiet in the usually so joyful firehouse, and he wonders how he's supposed to survive this, how Judd and Owen can still offer words of encouragement and touches of comfort after all the loss they've suffered. It's excruciating. The whole thing. Every second of it.

Every breath he takes sends a stabbing pain through his chest and his hands start shaking so badly, he can't even ball them into fists. He feels suffocated, like the walls are closing in around him and there's no way out. He feels the sudden, overwhelming urge to run, to get as far away from this place as possible but before he can move there's a hand on his arm and fingers squeezing so hard that he winces.

"TK," his father says alarmingly and his voice sounds so far away, so frighteningly inhuman, that it sends TK into a frenzy.

"I need to go," he breathes out between clenched teeth, his heartbeat echoing in his ears like a stampede. He needs to get out of here. Right now. TK pulls his arm free and turns around, ignoring the calls of his name that follow him out of the door and then he's running. He doesn't know where his legs take him, he can barely focus on the path in front of him through his blurred vision but it doesn't matter. None of it matters. They've lost one of their own today and TK doesn't know if he can ever fully recover from that.

His legs and chest start burning, begging him to slow down and catch a breath and so his frantic run comes to an abrupt halt. He's heaving now, seemingly unable to get enough air into his lungs and it doesn't help the feeling of panic that's been sitting in his gut all day. He fears he might pass out but he manages to get his breathing under control, enough so that he can keep walking. His mind is still too chaotic to rest and there's only one place he wants to be in right now, this one person who might be able to shoulder some of that weight he carries, and so with weak knees and his heart in his throat, TK makes his way to Carlo's condo.

It doesn't take long for the familiar building to appear in his line of sight, he's covered quite a few miles with that run, but it doesn't fill him with the relief he had hoped it would. He's overwhelmed all over again.

Is he overstepping? Should he even come here this late and pull Carlos out of his sleep? He's had a tough day too, shouldn't he let him rest? He can't pour all of this grief on him unnoticed, can he? Does Carlos even know what happened?

He doesn't know what to do, torn between wanting to seek comfort and knowing he will be a burden to Carlos. He longs for him though, his gentle eyes and warm smile and TK is too tired, too upset, to deny himself of Carlos' embrace. Eventually, TK pulls out the key Carlos handed him one night, for safekeeping, he had said with a smile, and TK knew in that moment, with a frightening clarity, that Carlos was his forever, his one.

He takes a few more minutes to collect himself before he opens the door, careful to be as silent as possible in case Carlos was already asleep, and when he lets the door fall shut behind him, he surprisingly finds those brown eyes he's been aching for already locked on him. Carlos is right there, sitting in the middle of the staircase in his pyjamas, looking at TK like he was expecting him all along, and TK feels his heart swell with gratitude. As he stares at him, the pain in his chest slowly eases and he suddenly doesn't know why he was so worried about coming here. He doesn't understand why he was so insecure about seeking out Carlos' presence and asking him to deal with a pain that wasn't his own. It's so clear now, in the way Carlos wordlessly opens his arms and holds out a hand, that he will gladly shoulder some of TK's pain.

TK's legs move on their own account and he all but stumbles into Carlos' waiting embrace, reaching for whatever warmth he can find and hoping it will fill the cold that has seeped into his heart. When Carlos' arms close around him, holding the broken pieces of himself together, TK feels safe.

They stay there for a long time, neither of them talking, and TK finds comfort in the silence Carlos offers. He focuses on the strong beat of Carlos' heart against his ear, matching his own to its rhythm, and when he feels like he won't fall apart with every breath he takes, he opens his eyes and raises his head to look at Carlos. Carlos reaches for him immediately, stroking his cheek with a sad but kind smile, and TK wonders, for the millionth time, how he got so lucky. He wants to tell Carlos how grateful he is and how much he adores him but the words are stuck in his throat. He only hopes Carlos can read some of it in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Carlos finally breaks the silence, and the agony in his voice is evident. He doesn't know what else he can say, there's nothing that will make it okay. TK looks at him for a long time, eyes scanning over his boyfriend's face in a futile attempt to memorise all that he is. He's overcome with emotions, torn between gratitude and the fear of losing him.

He's lost someone today. He can lose someone else tomorrow. Time is not guaranteed, not for anyone, and he's hit with the sudden urge to create a bubble where time doesn't exist and lock the both of them in, if only for just a moment. Carlos swipes his thumb over TK's brow, seemingly having noticed his mind drifting, and TK falls back into his painful reality. He reaches for Carlos' shirt, holding onto him as if he's afraid he's going to disappear, and when he looks back into Carlos' eyes, he finds nothing but understanding.

I love you, he thinks suddenly, feverishly. I love you, I love you, I love you.

He doesn't say the words that are echoing in his head and his heart is yearning to hear, instead he pulls Carlos down and presses their lips together in a desperate kiss. Carlos reciprocates but pulls back quicker than TK would've liked, though he keeps him close, gently holding his face in the palms of his hands.

"I'm right here," he says softly, lovingly pressing a kiss to TK's forehead, and somehow that causes the dam to break. It catches TK so off guard that he can only hold onto Carlos as the waves of grief wash over him, drowning him in a series of uncontrolled and horrible sobs. He barely listens to the soothing words Carlos whispers into his ears, he's too focused on getting his breathing back under control and swallowing down the nausea that hits him. He feels the panic advance on him like a shark, pulling him back underwater and TK needs it all to stop, he can't do this anymore, his limbs are too tired to swim. He tries to tell Carlos as much but his throat produces nothing but broken hiccups. Carlos tries to soothe him, telling TK to breathe and assuring him that he's going to be okay, and after a few agonising minutes, the water finally calms.

There's nothing left of him then. TK feels wrung out and hollow and if it weren't for Carlos still holding him close, he probably would've passed out right where they sit. But Carlos is here, curling a strong arm around his back, and TK lets himself be cared for.

He doesn't remember much of what happened after his panic attack but he wakes up in a warm bed, Carlos wide awake at his side and a few strands of sunlight making their way through the blinds.

He blinks up at Carlos who's already looking at him, a worried frown between his eyes but he smiles upon noticing TK's gaze. He lets his fingers move through TK's hair in a soothing manner and something about that loving gesture makes TK feel less alienated. He's oh so thankful that Carlos is right here next to him.

"How are you feeling?" Carlos asks quietly, pulling TK out of his haze, and TK takes a few seconds to think about his question.

"I don't know. Tired, I guess. Like I've run a marathon. My head hurts. And I'm just…" he breaks off, lost in thought.

"Sad?" Carlos offers.

"Yeah," he agrees, "Sad."

"Me too," Carlos confesses and that's it. He too has lost a friend and co-worker, he too has suffered through a loss that isn't easily accepted, and all of the sudden TK feels guilty for not realising it sooner, for not being able to keep his emotions under control and checking in on Carlos. TK opens his mouth to apologise but Carlos raises a hand in warning, aware of TK's train of thought.

"Don't even think about it," he says but there's kindness behind it. "I'm okay. You were not. And that's alright, it's understandable. But you have nothing to apologise for, Ty." He says it with such conviction that TK doesn't even try to argue with him.

"I'm always here for you if you need me," Carlos adds, "It's what partners do, right?"

"Yeah, I know," he admits, "I just want you to know that I'm here for you too. If you ever need me."

Carlos smiles at him and adjusts his position on the bed so that they're on eye level, his gaze wandering to the fingers that instinctively reach back into TK's hair.

"I care about you," TK goes on and he waits for Carlos to look at him before he continues, "I care about you a lot, actually. More than I can comprehend sometimes. And after what happened yesterday I-- I realised I'm terrified of losing you."

The confession catches Carlos off guard and his hand in TK's hair stills abruptly.

"You're not gonna lose me," Carlos says, a little dumbfounded.

"I could. It's not unreasonable considering our lines of work and I'm --" he breaks off, leaving his self destructive thoughts unsaid but Carlos knows. He always knows.

"No, it's not unreasonable," he sighs, "but listen to me carefully, I'm in this for the long run. I won't leave, not ever, not on my own accord and believe me when I say that I will do anything to come back home to you each day, unharmed. I can promise you that much."

There's a fire in his eyes that TK has rarely seen and he finds that it isn't difficult to trust his promise at all because TK will do the exact same thing. He reaches out a hand then, tightly clutching Carlos' fingers in his own, and there they are again, these terrifying three words. They're itching beneath his skin and tickling in his throat, desperate to be said out loud, but TK decides to keep them for himself for now. There will be a time for them, there will be a time to love and to hope. Right now, he needs to let himself heal. There is, after all, no safer place to do so than in Carlos' warm embrace.

[morganaspendragonss]

holly's august extravaganza day 26: slowly becoming lovers

for sonia (@pragmaticoptimist34)! i have to confess something - i got so caught up in writing this that i actually forgot to include either of the other two prompts you sent me 🙈 i hope you like it anyway!

second confession - it was supposed to be longer and then it kind of got away from me so i had to draw a line somewhere oops

thanks to @ravens-words, @cosmiicmalex, @halsteadmarchs and liz (sorry, i don't know your tumblr!) for enabling me and to @noxsoulmate for beta'ing!

ao3 | 2.9k | falling in love, fluff, tiny, tiny hint of hurt/comfort, soft tarlos, set between s1 and s2

Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.

But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.

i. food preferences

“You have to be joking.”

“It tastes like soap, Carlos!”

Carlos groans and drops his head into his hands, shaking his head at this latest revelation from his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who has just made his life—or at least his cooking—a hell of a lot more complicated. “My mamá would have a fit if she could hear you now.”

He almost regrets the words as TK’s eyes alight with interest; he’s been dancing around the topic of his parents for a while now, but it’s not like he can deny what he said. His mom would be having a fit, or possibly attempting to kill TK with a wooden spoon, if she found out that Carlos’s boyfriend was not only a gringo, but one who hates coriander.

“I swear, you won’t even taste it when it’s mixed into the food,” he tries, because coriander is a staple of his cooking, and he can’t even fathom not using it.

But TK just levels him with a firm look. “Yes, I will, Carlos. I’ll always taste it.”

Carlos rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s theatrics, but sighs, relenting. “Fine. I suppose I can—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, as TK throws his arms around him and plants a noisy kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks, babe,” he says, grinning cheekily.

“Yeah, yeah,” Carlos grumbles, but he can’t help but smile.

There’s very little, he’s finding, that he wouldn’t do for TK.

ii. nicknames

It slips out by accident one day.

“TK,” Carlos groans, followed by a gasp as TK moves just right, sending sparks of pleasure down his spine. “TK, Ty—”

TK instantly freezes on top of him and Carlos’s eyes open, concern rising in him as he takes in the pensive look on his boyfriend’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…” TK shakes his head and forces a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m good, I promise.” He ducks down to kiss Carlos again, but the mood is all wrong, and Carlos gently pushes him back, raising an eyebrow. TK holds out a moment longer, then sighs and rolls away, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s stupid.”

Carlos tuts, reaching over to brush a hand through TK’s hair. “Bet you $20 it’s not.”

“Hope you have $20 then, Reyes,” TK says wryly. He looks over at Carlos and sighs again, biting his lip. “It’s just… You called me Ty.”

“Oh.” Carlos’s eyes widen and he props himself up on an elbow. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking; it won’t happen again—”

TK presses a finger against his lips, cutting him off abruptly. He smiles softly, then removes his finger and caresses Carlos’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he says. “More than okay, actually. I… I’ve always hated my name, but, I don’t know, I guess it sounded right? Like, when you said it? I think I’d kill anyone else who tried, but I really liked it coming from you.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because—”

Carlos is again cut off, this time by TK’s lips on his. TK moves so that he’s straddling Carlos again, hands pressed against his chest. “I’m sure,” he whispers, a grin playing at his mouth. “Now, weren’t we in the middle of something?”

iii. religion

Christmas sneaks up on him that year. Between helping the city recovering from the solar storm, work in general, the pandemic, and building his relationship with TK, Carlos has completely lost track of the months, until it’s a week before the date and he has nothing planned.

Really, it’s never been a big deal for him; he and his family used to attend mass and make an event out of it when he was a kid, but now he’s an adult, he’s often working, and he hasn’t been to church regularly since he was a teenager. But this year is different. This year, he’ll be spending it with TK, their first Christmas together, and he wants to make it special.

But he’s left it too late—nothing he orders online will arrive in time, the shops are becoming a nightmare, and he honestly has no clue where to even start. So Carlos resigns himself to another quiet Christmas, frustration and disappointment welling in him at the thought of telling his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out one night over dinner, the thought having been gnawing at him for days.

TK raises a brow. “For?”

“Christmas,” Carlos sighs, looking down into his stew. “It’s our first one together and I had all these plans, and then I just sort of… I didn’t forget! But things have been so crazy, and—”

He’s cut off when TK lays a hand on his. When Carlos looks up at him, TK seems to be fighting back laughter, which is confusing at best and potentially mildly insulting at worst.

“Babe,” TK says, grinning, “it’s okay. You might not believe me, but I forgot too. Christmas wasn’t really a thing growing up—my mom’s Jewish, so I used to celebrate Hanukkah on the years I stayed with her, and Dad was working more often than not. I don’t care, I promise.”

Carlos blinks. “You’re Jewish?” Surely he would know if… But they’ve never discussed religion before, and Carlos had kind of assumed TK had the same ideals as him about the church. In hindsight that was stupid and presumptuous, and Carlos can’t quite believe he’d do something like that. An apology is on the tip of his tongue, but TK just shrugs, going back to his stew.

“Half,” he says. “I don’t really practice anymore but I still keep the beliefs with me, if that makes sense?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

TK smiles at him, and Carlos suddenly realises that this holiday season will be special after all, even if they don’t celebrate anything. Because he’s with TK, which is the most special thing in the world.

iv. how they sleep

Carlos has been sleeping alone for a long time. He’s had a couple of short-term boyfriends and the odd hook-up here and there, but he’s never had someone else in his bed regularly—certainly not regularly enough to get used to it.

TK was hesitant at first to stay over, but once he started to be more comfortable, it was almost a given that they’d be sleeping together whenever their shifts allowed.

And it had been an adjustment.

TK had warned him he tended to move around and be clingy in his sleep, but Carlos hadn’t quite understood what that meant, until now. He is, essentially, trapped under TK, his arms pinned to his sides and one leg thrown over his hip. TK’s head is pillowed on Carlos’s shoulder and his breath is fanning in soft puffs over his skin.

The only way he can move is if he wakes TK up, and there’s no way Carlos is going to do that. His boyfriend looks so peaceful, and Carlos is more than happy to be clung onto like a koala to a branch if it keeps that expression on his face.

In fact, he thinks he can get used to this very easily.

v. pda

In private, their days are filled with gentle touches and stolen kisses. Carlos will be cooking breakfast and TK will slip his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. TK will be doing one chore or another and Carlos will brush a hand over his back or gently nudge him as he walks past.

But in public, it’s a whole other story.

It’s almost reflexive, the way TK reaches for Carlos’s hand as they’re walking down the street. It’s something they do all the time at home, and even with their friends, but this time, Carlos immediately tenses, seemingly automatically pulling his hand away.

“You okay?” he asks, frowning.

Carlos takes a deep breath, then obviously plasters on a smile, retaking TK’s hand—and TK can feel the tension in the gesture. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” TK gently lets go of Carlos and smiles reassuringly up at him. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with touching in public.”

“I’m sorry, I just—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all on me; I should have asked.”

“But—”

“But, nothing.” He carefully bumps their soldiers together. “You’re entitled to your boundaries, I’m just sorry for overstepping. Tell me next time, please?”

Carlos hesitates, but nods, a gentle press of their arms a silent acknowledgment of agreement and understanding.

vi. scars

Carlos, TK has noticed, likes to pay extra attention to his bullet scar. Whether it’s pressing a gentle kiss over it when they’re in bed, or brushing it with his fingers when wrapping an arm around him, it happens too often for TK to believe it’s anything but intentional.

He doesn’t understand it at first.

Then he discovers Carlos’s own scars.

“What’s this?” he asks, tracing over the thick raised scarring on Carlos’s side. It stretches along the curve of his waist and round his back, and TK has no idea how he hasn’t noticed it before.

Carlos cranes his neck, letting out a hum when he sees what TK’s looking at. His head flops back down on the pillow and he closes his eyes, absently stroking up and down TK’s sides.

“It was...three years ago, maybe?” he says. “I got stabbed on a call. They told me it was pretty touch-and-go for a while, but they fixed me up and I was back at work in a month.”

His eyes are still closed, body completely relaxed, but TK can’t take his eyes off the scar. He reaches up to his own scar, and he gets it.

Carlos’s eyes crack open. “TK?”

“I’m good,” TK murmurs. He breaks his gaze from Carlos’s abdomen and smiles at him. “We both are.”

And if, after that day, Carlos notices him paying more attention to that scar, he doesn’t say anything.

vii. penguin or panda

“You’re out of your mind!”

In Carlos’s defence, a zoo date had seemed like a good idea. He knows TK loves animals, and he himself grew up around them, so in theory, a trip to Austin Zoo should have been the perfect time to get to know each other better while enjoying the day.

Turns out, TK has some very strong opinions on animals, and is willing to budge for absolutely no-one.

“I can’t believe you think penguins are cuter than pandas! I mean, look at them, Carlos!” He gestures emphatically to the panda enclosure, where one is napping on a log. It’s pretty cute, Carlos has to admit, but…

He shrugs. “But remember when the penguins were all huddling together?”

TK makes a noise of outrage, and Carlos has to laugh, then some more at the wounded pout he gets for it. “Is this really a thing for you?” he asks. “Like, is this going to be the dealbreaker for us?”

TK folds his arms and levels him with a stern look. “That depends,” he says. “Meerkats or koalas?”

And, just because he knows it will rile TK up more, Carlos grins and answers, “Meerkats.”

(They don’t break-up over it, but Carlos isn’t so sure that TK will be forgiving him any time soon.)

viii. special interests

“Say you could go back to a moment in history, but only once,” TK says, out of the blue, breaking the comfortable silence of the front room. Carlos stops carding his fingers through TK’s hair and looks down at him, curious. “Where would you go?”

Carlos opens his mouth, but TK doesn’t give him a second to answer. “Is it cliché if I said I’d go to Stonewall? I mean, I’d really like to see dinosaurs in the flesh, or—oh! I was, like, obsessed with pirates as a kid; I thought they were the coolest things ever, and I pretty much idolised Anne Bonny. But I’m pretty sure I’d die immediately if I went to either of those places, so…”

He trails off, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Sorry, I’m boring you.”

“No!” Carlos rushes to say. “No, you’re not. I love history, I just… What makes you ask?”

“It’s something we got into at the station earlier. Mateo brought it up first, I think?”

Carlos hums, pursing his lips in thought. “I guess…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s too hard. There’s so many places I’d want to go and people I’d want to meet.”

“But if you had to pick?” TK pushes, sitting upright and looking at Carlos with interest.

“I really want to meet Eleanor of Aquitaine, but if I could only go to one place…” He hesitates and thinks it over some more, but then his eyes catch on the masks hanging along the stairway, and he’s sure. “Tenochtitlan, but before Cortés arrived. It was a whole society, and I just think it would be so cool to see it up close and to know what it was like first-hand. I mean, I’ve read a lot of books, but we don’t have much from the Mexica people, a lot is from the conquerors, and—”

Carlos stops and huffs a laugh. “Now I’m the one boring you,” he says, but TK shakes his head, eyes bright.

“Tell me more.”

ix. coffee order

TK accepts the coffee without even thinking about it, even taking a sip before he realises he never told Carlos what his order was. He curses himself but resolves to drink it anyway; TK isn’t too much of a coffee snob, and he’s certainly not going to reject anything his boyfriend brings him.

He takes a second sip, and he’s so caught up in making a mental note to tell Carlos next time that it takes a minute for the taste to register. And…

It’s his order.

He looks sharply up at Carlos, who is smiling into his own coffee—therefore dispelling any notion of this being an insanely good guess. “How did you know?” he asks, bewildered.

The tips of Carlos’s ears turn pink, but the smile doesn’t leave his face as he looks up at TK. “Our first real date,” he says. “You mentioned that this was your go-to order.”

And TK can’t do anything but stare, because their first date was weeks ago, and Carlos still remembered, and it’s just…

He thinks—no, he knows—he’s falling in love.

x. fears

“Weirdest fears, go.”

TK has to laugh at the perplexed look Carlos sends him at the question, the straw of his boba hanging out of his mouth. Now that they’ve figured a sort of rhythm out between them, they decided to try the boba place again—there have been no emergencies or disasters so far, so TK is counting it as a win.

“Come on,” he continues. “Last time we were here, you said we barely knew each other—which was true—so now we’re going to fix it.”

Carlos’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “By telling each other our weirdest fears?”

“Exactly!” TK grins. “I’ll go first if you’re too chicken. Mine is slicing my hands open or cutting some fingers off with ice skates.”

“What?” Carlos breathes, disbelief all over his face. “I’ve never been ice skating but I’m pretty sure your hands aren’t supposed to go anywhere near the blades.”

“I didn’t say it was rational.” TK sips his boba, raising an eyebrow at Carlos. “Your turn.”

Carlos swallows, suddenly very interested in the table. “I, uh. When I was a kid, my Tía Lucy had a snake get into her pipes. She only discovered it when she went to the toilet one morning and it was just...sitting there in the bowl. I was terrified for years that the same would happen to us, and it’s kind of become a reflex to check.”

“Oh my god.” TK can’t help but burst out laughing, even though he feels bad for it as Carlos covers his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a real thing for you, I just…”

But Carlos’s shoulders are shaking too and, bizarrely, TK really does feel closer to him now.

It’s a good feeling.

xi. long-term commitments

Carlos is surprised when TK is the one to bring it up first.

“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks one day, head in Carlos’s lap, staring up at the ceiling.

Carlos pauses the show he’s technically supposed to be watching and quirks an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Sure,” he says. “What about the future exactly?”

TK hesitates, and his voice comes out a lot quieter when he next speaks. “Like…” He sighs, a small flush rising on his cheeks. “The future. Our future. Us. Maybe...marriage, or…”

He trails off, practically whispering by the end of it. His gaze has shifted from the ceiling to the frozen TV screen and he’s chewing on his bottom lip, body stiff with tension. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Forget about it.”

But Carlos is learning to read TK, and he knows he was looking for reassurance. “I mean, yeah,” he says. “I think about it. Do you?”

TK stares up at him, wonder in his eyes. “After New York, I thought… But yeah. Yeah, I do.”

They share a smile as they lock eyes, and Carlos knows that they’re on the same page here. That, distant though they may be, both of them can hear wedding bells in their future.