#sometimes scout. very rarely spy.

[skeletalheartattack]

You should play tf2 more

i've been playing a lot of it as of late actually, mostly been trying to practice playing pyro better, though i just don't really talk about it. really been trying to master the detonator.

my only real exposure to the game currently through playing it is just playing casual, i don't really play any community servers these days.

[lunatic-pudge]

General Medic Headcanons (Requested by poker_face_12)

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Am happy to be putting some TF2 stuff out. It was feeling wrong giving Postal so much attention and not TF2. I'm also thinking about writing some stuff for Duke Nukem. I know there's not really an audience out there but he and Nick from L4D2 have been holding me in a chokehold recently

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SFW:

-My baby boy, Medic, I feel like I don't give him enough attention.

-I promise, he isn't as crazy as you think he is. Maybe. He does care about his teammates, he'll never admit it though. Always trying to make sure they take care of themselves. Sometimes it can feel a bit preachy, but he means well, truly, he does. You just gotta look past his "I'm the doctor and know what's best" attitude. But he tends to neglect listening to his own advice, like the hypocrite he is

-I'm 85% confident he has a jar of lollipops in his lab. He sometimes has to use them as a bribe, and other times as a reward, but they're actually for him cause he has an insatiable sweet tooth. That sweet tooth of his will be the cause of his downfall also. He get rather excited when Pyro bakes, cause homie knows how to make some amazing hard candy and cakes. Pyro has even made Medic a cake for his birthday, and now Py gets special treatment when in for checkups and experiments

-Loves traveling. He's a nerdy German tourist and would clear out a gift shop if given the opportunity. When, he has time, he likes to go out and travel a bit. He's so nerdy when he's out and about, it's adorable. Probably takes Heavy with him as well cause why not

-God, this man would be petty for no reason. Also very good at holding a grudge. Ain't no way this man gonna forget what Scout did to him 3 years, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days ago. He will forever hold that against him. I think Medic is just being a drama queen, but that's just me. It can be hard to make it up to him. The best way is to spoil him in desserts. Only then will he CONSIDER letting the grudge go.

~

~

NSFW:

-Medic is one horny merc. Practically ready to have a little bit of fun. He's very good at hiding it, though. It's dangerous, man. Once you sleep with this man, you'll never be the same (the medussy be crazy)

-I also wouldn't out it past him to have some rather intimate moments with each merc. Nothing full on sexual, but it most certainly borders on that line. I blame it on him being fine as fuck. He really is one of the most attractive mercs (they all are but work with me here), and combine that with the German accent, not even someone like Spy could fight the charm Medic has

-Also one kinky motherfucker. This man is willing to try almost anything and everything. Some of his kinks are doctor/patient roleplay, blood, needles, BDSM (huge sadist with a little bit of masochism in him), bodily fluids, thighs (especially think ones in thigh high stockings), high heels, whips, restraints, biting/marking, and sounding to name a few.

-Man's a freak and I love him for it

-He's very much a dom, rarely will he ever be a sub. When he's a sub, he's such a brat. He likes to be so defiant cause he lives for the punishments he'll recieve. He knows the type of games he's playing. Sly bastard

(That's all I got for now. Will post more when I get ideas)

[artneverfinushed]

While I'm drawing the next bits of Pyros little checkup, have some sketches of this lil dude!!

Small things I find fun about my alien Pyro,

Idk why but my tumbler is glitching out like crazy

Scout loves to joke around Pyro but often forgets that Pyro's mouth is very much not hidden inside the mask and gets bit. A lot.

(Often gets Pyro in trouble because he's been told not to bite any mercs anymore)

Engineer is a father figure for Pyro, mostly because when the alien Pyro was first found engineer didn't want him to feel misplaced. So he treated Pyro as normal. Minus the new alien stuff.

Pyro doesn't like water or bright lights. But doesn't mind the desert or sunny places etc. It's just indoor bright light. Gives the poor thing headaches

This Pyro doesn't exactly have Pyro vision? Only a few things stay, like how their violence isn't as morbid as they see it, but they can only view motion. So finding spies is very easy. But when it comes to things that require motionless objects, they are very lost. Walls and hallways too are hard to view as well.

Pyros mask is their head ^^ (they have a thin layer that protects their eyes that looks very much like glass. They blink to. Just very rarely. And obviously the top is their mouth)

Burning spies are their favorite activity. But sometimes forgets who is who... spy visits medic often.

[shameshomalo]

HIIIII this is my new pressure OC!!! Her name is Remora :) I’ve been super anxious to share her because I’m worried this’ll get no traction loll but i figured why not Yk? No but really i would really appreciate it if y’all can take a quick gander at it. Much love XX

This is her file, its obtainable by a quest she offers. If y’all can’t read the file lmk and ill post the text under the cut :)

This is her a few months at UrbanShade, she was still very upset about the experiments here. And the pic or her on the right is her fully transformed (still working on her full body ref, pls bear with me 😭)

LOREEEE UNDER THE CUTT XX

I’m gonna try and make this as short as i can so y’all aren’t reading too much but i do have a lot to talk about lolol. Feel free to ask any questions, my inbox is always openXX.

Remora (Aka Lurker, H-576)

BASIC INFO

9’4

31 years old

She has suction sticky pads under her hands and stomach, she will stick to you walls because its fun.

Her jelly bulb radiates colors when feeling certain emotions but most of the time it rests against her head and stays translucent.

Her purpose is to search, retrieve, scout, spy.

She is mixed with:

Sea angel

Gulper Eel

Galacus Atlanticus

Re◼️◼️ ◼️◼️

Sarcastical fringehead

Man o war

Great white shark

◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️

◼️◼️◼️◼️

Lore about her/sebastian

She mostly appears between doors 15-85 and is always a friendly entity unless tirelessly provoked.

Ever wonder why there is just random files and DNA strewn around the facility? That because of Remora! During her time at UrbanShade she was always doing little tasks for the staff members and due to that she gets restless and irritated if she has nothing to do. During the lockdown she encountered Sebastian and decided that she would literally stick to him and as a way to get her to leave him alone he would send her out to collect items for his shop. After awhile this became a habit for the both of them and an alliance was formed!! One time Rem accidentally left a stack of files out and an expendable came across it and carried it with him to use for trading, this sparked an idea sooo irritatingly for Sebastian she would go out of her way to leave assets out to be collected. (Sebastian is NOT happy about it but it keeps her busy and costumers coming through so its an unfortunate win-win)

Encountering Rem mid-run info

Rem has a few rare interactions such as a 50/50 chance of seeing her in Sebastians shop (common). Sometimes she’ll try and gift you an item or files but Sebastian always yells at her not to.

If you encounter her outside of the shop there’s an 75% chance she’ll give you whatever files she has on her at the time (between 80-350 divided equally amongst your group), and a 30% chance she will give you a random item. You almost always get at least one battery.

Her nickname (Lurker) comes from the fact that she will follow you throughout your run, don’t think its cute though, she’s HUGE and always gets in the way of things, mainly you, she always tries and sticks to you, will get mad if you shoo her away. You can catch her peeking at you randomly through windows, vents or cracked doorways.

She does have a quest its common if its the first time you meet but becomes rare if completed/ declined. Since she LOVES searching for things (as per her DNA) she will ask that you hide a certain favorite item of hers in any random spot throughout your run since Sebastian never wants to. That’s it, nothing complex but you get a badge for it (I don’t have a name for it yet, sigh)

Super rare encounters are that she’ll warn you about an entity if she happens to spawn at the same time as another entity

Obtaining her file isn’t necessarily complex but if you complete her quest you will notice a random file Sebastian has to offer you. (You do not get a notification for obtaining this file, the only way to notice it is if you check the files you already own).

OKAYYY SO THATS IT FOR NOWWW I’m working on more lil drawings of Sebas and Remora so pls bear with me as they get uploaded. THANK YOU THANK YOUUU if y’all have made it this Farr i really appreciate and love all of you big smooches to y’all ehe. (Might come back and add more info later we shall see anyways love u guys xoxo)

[z-spy]

idk if someone posted this hc before but i think that sometimes spy comforted scout

it probably happened very rarely but it did and if scout felt so bad that he could even hug spy it actually felt soothing. and he couldn't understand why but didn't want to leave spy's embrace anyway

[crabonfire]

Oo can I have a platonic hcs of reader just gossiping with any of the mercs?

oh my god.

Platonic! S/O gossiping with Merc.

characters: all mercs 😱😱😱😱

note: hehehehhehhHYahhahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHhhahahhhagagagagHaggaHAGHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhhahahahahahahhahahhHhHahHA A

sorru if some r short! My excuse is cause I'm lazy, or idk what to write for em. (You take a guess for which one is the real one.)

warning: gossip girls tick me off 😡😡😡

♧Scout♧

• It all started one day, Engie was arguing with Heavy about something, and you knew what happened on Engie's side, but you didn't know about Heavy. You asked the other mercs for information but they didn't budge, saying they didn't wanna get involved. But scout approached you, whispering and giggling about what happened, why they argued.

You two really hit it off!

And even after the whole thing went down, you still found yourself gossiping with him after matches about anything interesting you found.

Fortunately for you he did the same!

• Since then on, you guys gossip a lot. Enemy drama, team drama, and sometimes gossip on dumb shit on the newspaper or a celebrity thing.

• "Dude, have you heard about the enemy Pyro? I heard they might be a chick."

"What? Really?"

"Yea, like...I overheard it from one of the janitors."

"Huh. I can see it."

"Really? How? I always thought they were some sorta...weird..alien in a suit."

"Why?"

"...Cause they're frickin' weird and...don't talk."

"That's so rude man, are you saying all aliens are quiet? You don't know them."

"You sayin' you know any?"

"No. But don't say stuff like that. That's so stereotypical."

"FYM STEREOTYPICAL??????"

"IDK DUDE JUST STOP BEING A DICK. The girl thing makes more sense then whatever stupid theory you have."

"Fuck you, I have great theories!"

You scoff, "Me when I lie."

♧Soldier and Demo♧

• if your buddies with Soldier, Demo is gonna be buddy buddy with you.

• Soldier honestly doesn't like to gossip much, but on the rare occasion where he knows something, he's gonna be up at night with you, talking about what he saw and making theories about it.

• Demo likes his cup of gossip now and then, not as big on it as you'd think though, he'd love to know but if it doesn't interest him he won't care.

• Usually Demo and Soldier do their own thing together a bunch, and man have they heard some things.

• They'd both approach you with new gossip, Demo trying not to laugh while Soldier shoves pictures of Scouts naked mother and Spy together in your face, exclaiming that "THEY ARE MAKING LOVE! SCOUT IS NOT A TRUE AMERICAN! HES A FRENCHIE :*("

♧Pyro and Engie♧

• same goes for em, you friends with Pyro your bound to hear shit from Engie.

• It was your first day, you were assigned as a janitor in the base and you were cleaning. Already you would hear all sorts of funny shit that would happen in those walls. Arguing, drama, secrets like how Spy is Scouts dad? Honestly it was a lot to hear in one day but wow.

• You were cleaning the common room, and you didn't notice as you were mopping but somebody had walked in. They were so quiet, you didn't know how with the fact they had a very heavy looking fire retardant suit on. You jumped a bit, laughing to yourself.

"Sorry I didn't see you there."

They replied, but it was muffled by their mask. You blinked, "Oh um, sorry dude I can't really hear you." They continued anyway, muttering muffled "huddas" like you would understand. You didn't.

An awkward silence overcame the room, you decided to break it.

"Hey, you know...I heard while I was cleaning...is it true that there's living...pieces of bread here?"

They nodded, chuckling under the mask remembering the situation about it. You smiled, laughing along. "What? That's crazy. I thought that was a joke. It's my first day and I'm already hearing so much about this place. These walls are NOT thick."

• From that moment, you talked with them in your own way, they'd write their replies on a piece of paper and even tell you some things about the other mercs.

• You two really hit it off, after their matches, if they could find you, they'd slip pieces of paper in your cleaning supplies for you to read on your breaks, and you'd reply by leaving notes under their door.

And as time went on, you had learned to understand them. Now it was much more fun to listen to them actually tell the stories and giggle over gossip.

They LOVE gossiping honestly. Since they are unnoticed usually they can get away with blending in the background to listen to whatever the others talk about.

• Because of your new friendship, Engie respects you for not belittling Pyro, and finds your company to be a nice change to the quiet and sometimes even crude folk he works with.

• "ENGIE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT WE HEARD-"

"MMHUDA MMHU-" [WE SAW-]

"Wait I thought I was gonna tell him?"

"Mmmhuh mmhuh, mmhhf mhuh hhhuhd." [Oh yeah, sorry go on."

"NO NO it's okay you do it."

"Mmhuh mmhuh, mmh-" [Okay okay, so-]

Insert the three of you laughing your asses off shittalking the enemy team for dirt you found of them.

"No way, are you two serious?"

"DEAD SERIOUS ENGIE, We literally saw it happen. Pi has photo evidence."

"Mmhh!" [Yeah!] Pyro pulls out the pictures, having a lot more of them than they should. Engie holds them in his hands, pausing before erupting into howling laughter.

"PFFT- OH MY GOD." He exclaims, slapping his thigh as he laughs uncontrollably.

• Engie doesn't hear much gossip, but if he hears gossip about him from you two he's gonna be grumpy for the rest of the day 😭😭😭 so if you hear anybody talking bad about him do not tell him or else he's gonna look like this

♧Heavy♧

• hates gossiping IM SORRRYYYY

• Will gladly listen to you gossip, but won't say anything, even if he has his own opinions about the situation. Best you'll get out of him is "That's absurd." Or "Haha, that is funny." But he will not say shit on it.

• He likes to listen because it's interesting to him, but he does not like to gossip himself because he finds it rude to gossip. Will not judge you though, you bring him quality stories to laugh and think about. (Plus now he has dirt on those people.)

• BUTTT if you're upset, he'll try to cheer you up by telling you gossip. And the gossip? It's always juicy. Like, "no fucking way" type of juicy. He has so much dirt on the other mercs and so much he knows about them, but he only tells you these things so that you can laugh and smile again. But won't say anything else, just let you theorise.

♧Medic♧

• loves gossiping.

• gossips with Heavy, and his birds.

• sorry idk what to write he's just a silly gossip girl 😋

• though surprisingly, he tends to keep that gossip to himself, and never actually gossips about anything he's unsure of. He thinks it's rude to speak of things that are merely "rumors"

• plus its better if it's proven to be real gossip anyway

• he's an asshole but he has his standards

♧Sniper♧

• Likes his fair share and also knows his fair share of gossip.

• Usually your the one talking, but the reactions you get out of him with the shit you tell him are priceless. Sometimes he laughs so hard he hits the table you two are talking by repeatedly, telling you to "Cut it out" or "No way"

• His gossip is mostly about the team, he doesn't care or know much about the enemy team.

• you two actually got along because of gossip, you two were out on a mission, and to break the boring yet awkward tension, you started to gossip with him, and surprisingly he enjoyed the talk.

• you guys are best friends because of this honestly, like Heavy, he likes to cheer you up by telling you some "hot goss" you cringe a little whenever he says that but he just wants to make you happy again.

• honestly idk how else to make this long, he's gossips, but not an insane amount

♧Spy♧

• never gossip but knows EVERYTHING 😭

• very rarely gossips with anybody, but he simply tells you very...subtle details about a certain thing, leaving you curious and wondering about what it's about / who's involved.

• he only actually gossips with you if it's late at night, everyone is asleep, he's in his smoking room having drunk a couple glasses of wine here and there, and maybe then he'll do it.

But it's a rare occasion.

Still, it's always fun for him to hear your thoughts on it. He simply listens to you, smiling here and there and rolling his eyes at your quips.

• he doesn't really gossip? more like...just...insult the person you two are talking about. he gets a kick out of it, especially when you make such funny jokes about the situation.

• yeah u guys r kinda mean 😭😭😭😭

anyways hope yall enjoyed woo (can you tell engie's text is always the longest in every one of these nevause he's my favourite? Yeah I do it on purpose.)

[feralrabidcrow]

What do you think the mercs hobbies were, past and present?

Scout loves drawing, as inspired by Expiration Date. He's really good at it, like crazy good, but he usually uses his talents for chaos, such as drawing Spy having sexual congress with the Eiffel tower. He also collects baseball cards, and sings Tom Jones to himself when he's alone in his room, but everyone knows because of how loud he sings. He sings into his baseball bat like it's a microphone, most passionate ballad of 'Sex Bom' you will ever hear.

Soldier is devoted to creating an army of raccoons, no matter how much the raccoons bite and scratch him. If you can consider that a hobby. Can you count snapping Scout's puny neck as a hobby? Is violence in general a hobby? He takes great joy in trying to 'shape up' the other mercenaries, through wake up calls, making them eat nasty MREs, yelling at them to train harder, and running the base like it's boot camp. I don't think this man has picked up a relaxing pastime in his entire life.

Pyro loves collecting things, anything really. Stickers, candy, rubber ducks, if it fits in their pocket, they'll hoard it somewhere only to bestow it to someone randomly (at least it can seem random) as a gift. Obviously they have a hobby for starting fires, but their less destructive hobbies include tea parties, scrapbooking, cake decorating, and hanging out with Engie in the workshop just to pass time.

Demo loves gathering the mercs around and telling them ghost stories. If there's a thunderstorm, and the lights go out, he's grabbing the candles and the spookiest voice he can muster. While the man loves his scrumpy, in the past before he just stuck to the good ol reliable stuff, Demo dabbled in the art of mixology, crafting up the most bizarre yet delicious drinks you could think of, but they certainly could pack a punch! He hasn't entirely lost the skill, but most of the time he's too drunk to work a bar with the finesse he once could. There would be a lot of glass shattering.

Heavy is a big time reader. Whenever he has the time to spare, he's pulling out a thick book that no one can identify and digging in. However, he has a remarkable ability that I lack; the ability to remain aware of his surroundings while buried in a book. No matter how invested he is in the literature he's currently consuming, if you call for him he'll drop it and come help. He enjoys spending time with Medic's doves; after their beloved doctor, he's their second favourite person. He also enjoys cooking, something he learned from his mother a great many years ago.

Engineer obviously spends a lot of his free time in the workshop tinkering about, but he also loves to spend time just hanging out with the mercs, who he all considers friends, that Friendly Engie! Whether it's a barbecue, a game of poker, karaoke night, whatever shenanigans the mercs are doing to pass the time between matches, Engie is right there in the center of it, enjoying all the bonding time with his teammates that they can get. He's a major extrovert, and can get on well with just about anyone he meets!

Medic takes his job as a hobby, delighting in reaching into someone's chest cavity and playing God for a bit. He's very passionate about bird care, treating his flock of doves as if they were his children. He also loves music, and has a radio playing in the medbay whenever he can. Medic has a wonderful singing voice, but he rarely sings nowadays, though he used to in his younger years. He also is a surprisingly good dancer, but only Heavy knows about that one.

Sniper loves abandoning the base and going out into the middle of nowhere to just be one with nature and get some peace and quiet. He goes hunting, catches himself some game, cooks it over a fire, spends the night stargazing and listening to nocturnal animal calls. He's the most introverted of the group, and while he does sometimes sit in for poker and other team activities, he's happiest in the great outdoors by his lonesome.

Spy is a connoisseur in fine wines and other elegant alcoholic drinks, taking the time when he can to attend fine dining and wine tasting events. He plays piano, rather impressively well, among his wide set of talents, but unlike many talents that he picked up just for a job, he takes great joy in his musical skills. He also has a fondness for seducing your mother.

[emotionally-intense-heavy]

Heavy team fortress 2 can you list who is the most tolerable of the mercs pretty please

From most tolerable to least (In my opinion):

1: Medic: I love hearing him talk. I can put up with him all day. :D

2: Engineer: Not too loud. He is easy to talk to.

3: Pyro: Quite fun, I love having tea parties with him. Sometimes a little too much energy.

4: Sniper: Less easy to talk to, not great conversationalist, but still manageable. Quiet, is good.

5: Spy: I hardly see him. We don’t talk often, but it is okay. Somewhat arrogant.

6: Soldier: Loud, very loud, very aggressive. I still try to handle him, for he is my brother-in-law.

7: Demoman: Drunk, incomprehensible, I end up being like a babysitter. Rarely, he is sober, and that is nice.

8: Scout: Loud, loud, loud, LOUD. He gives me headaches. Very arrogant, unwilling to listen.

I cannot be ranked, because that would be biased.

[moonlight-tmd]

AIGHT, INFO DUMP TIME-

This is a list of ideas/headcanons of the tfa fandom that crossed my mind, piled into one giant mess. Enjoy.

those are things that i consider canon in my works. (outside of AUs)

PLEASE READ- THE LIST KEEPS BEING UPDATED.

1. Bee has a golden voice when singing, he’s anxious about it tho. [the whole headcanon explained] After some time and events this scenario happens and Bee gets more comfortable around others.

2. Bee is basically a stuntman when skating. Casual or on battlefield, his actions are purely impulsive. Sometimes he’s lucky and pulls off that sick move... sometimes he ends up in medbay for many long hours. Here’s an example.

3. Bee is a good actor, he can lie on the spot and get away with it... most of the time. He’s also good at hiding his emotions. Fake it till you make it... or at least before Prowl comes knocking at your door.

4. Bee has 3 modes; Chaotic/Feral Gremlin, Kind Child and on rare occasion; Lazy Ferret. When he dates someone, there comes a 4th one; Lovestruck Idiot.

5. Bee is the early bird and wakes up way before the rest of the Autobots. He’s made a little routine of making the morning oil for the rest of the team. It’s the only thing he can “cook” really.

6. Sari keeps the weird healing powers the key had when she upgrades herself. Ratchet helps her figure it out and teaches her cybertronian first aid.

7. Rachet knows human curses and will use them when things are going down.

8. Sari and Bee are the young sibblings™. Prowl plays the role of the babysitter, keeping those two out of trouble.

9. Bee often vents to Prowl about topics he wouldn’t talk about with anyone. They have an unspoken agreement to never do anything to mess with the other when it comes to these meetings.

10. Prowl is accidentally creepy, he will eavesdrop or spy on someone unintentionally. He doesn’t mean it, but his curiosity can get the best of him sometimes. Here’s a list of things he eavesdropped so far.

11. Optimus is a kindsparked leader, he’ll think of the person’s wellbeing first instead of “is this okay with the law?”

12. Bulkhead sometimes helps the architects with building stuff, he likes the art aspect and the job is easy cuz he can carry like few tons of materials at once.

13. Random!Blitz will eat various things that are definitelly not meant to be eaten. Glow sticks, scraps, paint and even some organic things. He also chews on anything that he find appealing. Somehow, he has yet to end up in medbay for doing that.

14. Blitzwing likes to sculpt, he’ll carve in wood, stone, ice and metal.

15. Bee likes to set up harmless traps to mess with Prowl, his time repairing space bridges taught him how to construct things. He’s quite crafty. Unfortunatelly, Prowl still remmebers how to pull a prank in return. Here’s one of them.

16. There’s 2 versions of Megatron: cold and sadistic villain(canon) or scary but thoughful “father”(Cons Are Good AU)

17. Longarm(Shockwave) actually kinda likes Bee. The bot is optimistic, kind and funny. He likes to hang out with the scout and have some fun, but other than that he focuses on his duties as a traitor Prime.

18. Lugnut is Lugnut, he’s basically in love with Megs. Megs wants nothing to do with him except for work.

19. There’s 2 versions of Decepticons; they either want to to take over Cybertron(canon) or want equal rights and fix whatever the council has fucked up. (Cons Are Good AU)

20. Autobots and Decepticons are not separate species of transformers like i often see. They just have different builds and codings. A transformer who’s not aligned with any of the factions doesn’t have any specific behavior attached, it all depends on what they learn as a sparkling. If they choose a faction, an additional coding is added to their system which might alter their behavior slightly.

21. Since time units are very confusing in the fandom i decided to settle on this: Nanoklik (1 second), Klik (1 minute), Joor (1 hour), (Solar/Lunar)Cycle (day/night), Decacycle (week), Orbital Cycle (month), Stellar cycle (1 year). Then it all goes like normal; decades, centuries, millennia. Sometimes i will use other transformer time terms when i don’t know what else to use.

22. Ratchet, despite being a medic, dismissed his own small damages. He says he will take tare of them later but never does, which later comes back as a bigger problem. Like a trembling wheel, dimmed light or glitched comm piece. He’s learned to go fix himself when reminded about them or look for Sari.

23. Prowl has a bad habit of nightly snacking, he meditates all day long and sometimes forgets to refuel. Bad habit but he’s not really keen on stopping.

24. Shockwave/Longarm is the tech folk, the one who manages files and all, but he’s also somewhat of a medic. He knows how to patch system errors/viruses as well as fix some external damages.

25. Megatron actually remembers Optimus’ name, he just chooses to avoid using it because he has a grudge agaist the Prime for kinda offlining him.

26. Prowl doesn’t die in my timelines/AUs. Nor does Blurr. Nobody does(permanently). I just can’t let them.

27. Claws and sharp dentae are a basic upgrade you get when becoming Decepticon. Based on the frame type, there are few exceptions, example: Blitzwing has both sharp teeth and claws, but Lugnut has only sharp teeth cuz his servos are not compatible with the claws. Same with Shockwave but he's only got claws.

28. Bee was raised in the orphanage, he never brought it up to anyone. The only one to know might be the one he’d date. [See this post but exclude the adoption part]

29. Since Shockwave has 2 forms, he has something similar to Blitzwing’s multiple personalities thing- it’s not that intense, but there is a weird switch in his mind that he can activate on command. He is more laid back and cheery when he’s Longarm. When he’s Shockwave he’s very calm and focused- It’s his peak performance form, so to say. A weird thing that happens with Longarm is that he’ll be focused and calm with everyone but the second he, Bee and Bulkhead are alone- it’s time for wild fun.

30. Everyone thinks Random is the cannibal. He’s not, Icy is the one enjoying devouring a fellow mech. He keeps quiet about it, Random is just hyping it up like he usually does with everything.

31. Blackarachnia may be a mad scientist but she would help someone out if they begged her enough. She’d do everything to fix a bot- but then use them for her own goals. Every “transaction” you make with her will have the consequences... well, unless she’s “feeling generous”- which is like a miracle and you’ve probably made her feel bad if she does this.

32. Bumblebee loves to dress up. He loves human clothes, he loves cosmetic upgrades, he liked the temporary paint that is make up. He’ll never admit or show it though. He feels like if he does, he’s gonna be judged and everyone’s gonna stop liking him. Dressing up makes him feel like he’s truly pretty and amazing. He doesn’t want that feeling crushed if others find it weird and tell him to stop. Idk if “Drag Queen” is the correct term for this but he defo likes dresses and painted details like make up.

33. Bee dresses up for Halloween with Sari. Despite what i said in the previous point, he allows himself to dress up in cool costumes- usually the classics like a vampire or ghost. Never anything cute tho- those costumes are saved for his time alone. One time he made himself look like the haunted black taxi from that one movie- Optimus was on patrol and heard about some shady car scaring people so he went to check it out. Poor Bee tried to scare him too and got send to medbay. Optimus apologized for two days after that incident.

34. Bee has a job that earns him human money- in some weird chain of events he met a guy with a shop that sells old and damaged stuff. He offered to pay Bee money to bring him old stuff from garbage yards/trash stations that may be restored and sold. So now he has a fun and productive way of earning money to buy new games. He goes treasure hunting at least once a week.

35. Bee is really flexible and can basically squeeze anywhere he desires. No one knows how he does it and he constantly gets stuck in weird places. You wouldn’t think he’d fit into that heavy duty airvent, but alas, he’s there waiting for help. 

36. Bumblebee and Prowl are almost the same height; motorbikes are small, even when compared to tiny cars. Prowl is only few inches taller than Bee. He is very thin in build, Bee is more bulky and wide. Bee is also physically stronger than Prowl- Prowl is always using tactics and momentum and physics and such to gain advantage over stronger enemies.

37. Bee is a natural climber- being the short bot, it’s obvious he has to climb to reach that shelf. His servos have rough pads on them to help him stick to sufaces better. It’s especially effective with earth’s buildings since they’re made of rough concrete.

38. Bee naps in riduculous places, he’s like a ferret. He’ll squeeze or climb into places and sometimes get stuck there so others have to get him out. His favorite places to nap are Bulkheads subspace and under his berth.

39. Bee will learn anything about any game just to win. He has a self-claimed title “Game King”. One time he found out about Prowl liking chess- he spend the next few cycles on research and perfecting his skill with online chess. The “Game King” title has been made valid by everyone after Prowl got obliterated in chess by Bee.

40. Prowl has to temporarily move out of his room in winter because there is no roof. He has a back-up room for when the snow starts piling up and he can’t recharge in it. He also has to recharge in the back-up room when there is a heavy downpour and his room floods.

41. Each Team Prime member has their own love language/way fo showing affection/care. [Here i listed them]

42. At some point in the story, Bee and Bulkhead would become Amicas. Not Conjunxes(spouses)- they are Amicas(long-term best friend). [this and this]

43. I imagine Bumblebee would be a great parent- sure he’s reckless most of the time but when it comes to Sparklings- something in his mind switches and he goes full ‘Mama Bear mode’. [exaples: this and this]

44. Optimus is a great cook, he especially loves to bake. Bee is into mixology- he makes morning oil for everyone after all. Prowl cooks with organic ingredients for Sari, he wants her to eat more healthy so he takes it upon himself to make sure she does. [anker post]

45. Bee loves racing, in AU or not. He’ll go up to anyone and challange them to a race. The winner gets the respect of being faster. Blitzwing is Bee’s go-to race rival, they have fun together and mess around on some occasion. [anker post]

46. Bee got crayons from Bulkhead. Sometimes he will draw things- he drew a picture for their first christmas and everyone loves it, it’s hanging in the main room now.

47. Here you have Halloween and Christmas traditions with the group cuz i’m too lazy to write an entire point for it.

48. IMPORTANT FOR ALL NSFW WORKS: Interfacing and Sparklings. My version is different from the ususal sexual spike/valve thing. C’mon they’re ALIENS. I have it all written out in this post.

49: Bumblebee, Sari and Bulkhead are The Gamer Trio. They always play multiplayer games together when they’re not busy. Sometimes Prowl joins them for specific games. [anker post]

50. Team Prime + Sari have preffered food flavors n such. [anker post]

51. Team Prime + Sari having trouble sleeping/recharging and doing stuff instead of that. Nightly habits list. [anker post]

52. Bee has ADHD, you can’t convince me otherwise. He has also been diagnosed with depression later on. Oh, also Prowl is on autism spectrum. Dw, they take meds for that. [adhd+autism post here, Bee having depression here]

53. Bee talks in his sleep. It’s easy to tell if he’s having a nightmare or not. He’s just murmuring what is happening in his dream, not every night but surprisingly often. Funny enough you could have a conversation with him like this. [anker post]

54. Ratchet volunteers as medical assistance in Detroit. The messed up USA healthcare system is beyond what Cybertron had.

55. Bee goes mute when he’s feeling sad/dealing with trauma and/or overwhelmed by a situation. He uses ASL to communicate when that happens. [anker post]

56. There are differenced between Seeker and Grounder customs and behaviors. [anker post]

57. Different frame types have classification and subclassification. [anker post]

if there’s more i come up with, i will update this post. thank you for reading this text wall.

[little-tf2-time]

Hello hello!

Welcome in!

Welcome to my very own TF2 AGERE RP BLOG!!

This blog will be centered around my own headcanons for the characters, including agere/petre/agedre related headcanons, gender/sexuality headcanons and personality headcanons!

Of course i will try to keep their personalities as close to canon as i can when running this sort of blog, but theres going to definitely be a lot out of character most likely!

More about the blog (dni, how this works, who all is able to answer questions, etc!) Under the cut!

Anon names though first : ✂️ anon/anon✂️, blossom🌸

Who all can you send asks for?

You can send asks for;

The mercs (spy, scout, engineer, pyro, heavy, medic, soldier, demo, sniper)!

Miss pauling!

Saxton hale!

Only red team right now, but im working on some ideas for blue team which could be added later!!

How does this work?

Its rather simple, just send in an in character ask and youll get an in character reply!

If you send a not in character ask, or an ask towards me or about the lore, ill answer accordingly!

You can send the requests to specific characters, just specify who!

Sadly right now there wont be any art to go along with it but theres a chance ill start adding some if i can later on :)

I will be starting a headcanons/fics/oneshot blog too, so you can also send questions there when its up, but i dont mind answering them now!

Is there a story or plot to this?

Sorta yes! The main idea is the usual, the merce live in the same house/base and hang out out of work! Only differences is that miss pauling lives there too, and saxton lives close enough to come by a lot!

This is set in the red base specifically, where its much warmer and sunnier!

In this, red team is the originals and blue team are slightly tweaked clones! Its confusing and wont be brought up much though. The blue team acts different and have different likes/dislikes, and they live in a very cold area.

What you should know about the cloning thing is that the spys are both fathers of their respective scouts, red spy and red scout and blue spy and blue scout! Scouts ma does sorta know about the clones, she just chooses not to think abt it too much /hj

Who regresses in this? Why? To what? (+ pronouns)

(Thisll be long hang in there)

Scout (he/they) - age regressor and babysitter! He regresses usually around 4 to 8 usually, but some days he can get down to 2. His main cg is engineer but he also likes to be cared for by spy

Sniper (he/him) - flip! He regresses to around 5 or 6 usually, only gets littler under high stress. He mainly likes being cared for by heavy, but doesnt mind to be babysat by saxton or engie

Pyro (they/it) - age regressor and temporary babysitter sometimes! Has the biggest age range, 1 to 15, but usually stays in the 5 to 8 range, but sometimes dips all the way to 1 or 2. Their primary cg is engineer, and they are almost always a bit little honestly, they also love being babysat by heavy and medic!

Engineer (they/he) - flip with caregiver lean! He doesnt regress often and he even less will he let himself be cared for without a fuss, but when he does he goes veeery young, 0 to 3 at best! Hes a very warm father cg though and the main one for pyro and scout

Spy (she/he/they, fluctuating preference) - flip, but also caregiver lean! When he does regress she regresses to 0 - 2! Otherwise their the primary caregiger for miss pauling, secondary for scout, and usually the most prepared one

Heavy (he/they) - sorta flip? He regresses so rarely that its only been around medic, not many of the of the others even KNOW he regresses actually. He regresses around 0 to 1, and its usually an extreme stress regression. Though when hes caring hes one of the best! Usually just a babysitter to most, but the main cg to sniper

Medic (it/he/they, no preference) - flip again! Hes both an age and pet regressor. He regressed pretty young, 2-5, and pet regresses into a dove/domestic pigeon! When he cares hes decent at it, a little scary sometimes but hes improving! He usually is the doctor for many stuffed animals and their littles (colorful stickers gallore with him)

Soldier (it/they/he) - age regressor and pet regressor! Age regression to around 6 to 10 usually, and pet regresses to a raccoon and puppy! Main cg is saxton, but often settles with engie happily

Demo (he/they/xe) - age regressor and sometimes babysitter! Regresses a lot due to being drunk, or being hungover. Usually regresses to about 2 to 7

Miss Pauling (she/they) - sorta flip! She regresses more then she acts as a cg but shes absolutely fine with babysitting! She regresses very young, only around 0 to 6, and a lot of the time she'll slip when stressed or overly tired (she has to be dragged away from her work a lot too)

Saxton (he/she) - caregiver and babysitter! Main caregiver for soldier (being the only one who can keep up with him) but has babysat all the frequent regressors! Hes the least prepared but the kids have fun! Usually is called "uncle" by most

Dni!

Basic dni criteria (terfs/homophobs/racists etc)

Anti agere/petre

NSFW accounts of any kind

Ddlg and any varient

Pedos/zoos whatever just those kinda people and anyone who supports them!!

Gross people

I will delete asks or comments, or ignore messages if they are blatently harmful and are intended to hurt

[nikoofdeath]

So! Well I'm working on my tfw comic here's some info on the characters! Mostly red unless marked otherwise.

Spy: is tough love, he keeps others at a distance. But truly cares for the younger ones on the team (scout, runt, demo, sniper. [He isn't sure of pyro])

he will train them but push them to their limit. Rarely swears, but when he does it is in French.

Scout's mom is the only person to ever see through every disguise he has. She knows his body language and calling cards or quirks. When he would disguise himself to see Scout against his contract. She knew it was him every time and always found a way to kiss him.

Sniper: social to learn what the others quirks are. Would in theory betray them for half a peach.

Will steal items of the her mercs and hoard them. Can become obsessive sometimes.

Isn't interested in romance or sex, he'd rather observe others than get his hands dirty. But has strong friendships he refuses to admit are friendships.

Reads alot of books.

Climbs trees to get away from others will sleep anywhere. Has a habit of passing out in the middle of the day due to a poor sleep schedule.

Forgets to hydrate and eat, drives medic nuts.

Soldier: the only man to ever scare this brave American is heavy, has a respect for that man and will not cross him.

Made his wedding ring out of shrapnel from battles he and Zhanna have been in.

Speaking of Zhanna he loves her more then anything. If anyone slanders her they are dead. Very. Very. Dead.

His raccoons are his children. He thinks Pauling doesn't know about them, but Pauling is the oen that feeds them food that keeps them from getting ill form the poor diebt soldier gives.

Soldier can speak at least one other language, but no one knows what it is. He rather use it to easedrop on others then use it.

Collects things that remind him of his childhood and his wife for the possible prospect of children. "They will grow up as I did!"

Engie: when higher had a beard, pyro makes him shave it though as the comic gose.

Met Pyro before Pyro was given thr job. Was the one to tell Pauline about them.

Grew up with Leo in bee cave. Got him the job when Leo ran out of money for med school.

When is mad gets loud and stomps. Will drown self in work jf stressed.

Uses ductape for too much. Atheist 40% of his tech is reliant on duck tape somewhere on its body.

Pyro: is female.

Was daughter of someone who gave her skills to run a company.

Is very smart along the lines of Dell, tarvis, medic and Leo. But dosenr flaunt it. Sees it as nothing.

Has panic attacks. The mask helps with them liking being held tight and in smaller spaces.

Can read people well. Has those who are therapist of the crew check on those who are not ok. Knowing they are scary.

Collects taxidermy, runt gives them the failures if hers. Decorates the taxidermy in hats and doll clothing.

Can set anything on fire.

Demo: has made his own alcohol it sadly if touches the air will explode so uses it in bombs.

Loved Hawaiian shirts. Has always wanted to go but never had the time.

Is the one that tends to thr guardens of the base. Won't let pyro touch them after thr incident.

Is the therapist's friend but also the trouble maker will give you good life advice but also tell you to do something stupid. Thare is no invtween.

If it wasn't for heavy he would be the glue. Will talk to anyone. And helps cook most nights.

Has tattoos and feckless.

Scout: keeps a plush bear his dad gave him. Him. The others tease him but spy struggles not to tear up when he sees it.

Has a baseball his mom gave him when he got the job. Dosent know spy is the reason he got thr job. His mom begged him as their wasn't any Jobs for him.

Is forced to mentor runt. Iant a big fan of this but dose it for pauling.

Is more respectful than he acts. He acts loud and rude to seem cool. But his mother put a strict respectful streak in him.

Gave his dad a feather when he was 4 he doesn't remember. But Spy keeps it in his hat.

Heavy: is quiet gentle gient.

He is very smart and rather watch then talk.

Is very loyal and has had a..talk with soldier that if he ever hurts Zhanna he is a dead man. Soldier now refers to him as Sargent. He won't tell the others what he said.

Cooks well, but rather not do it. Not something he enjoys.

Is a artist. Paints in his free time.

Sings alot as well and plays five instruments.

Medic: is of Jewish descent. Doesn't..talk about his family or what happened in the war.

Has a gold ring he wears at all times on a necklace.

Dosenr talk much. Unless you get him talking about science. He loves to learn.

Is older than everyone. Rumor has it he knew the original mee teams. Uber has some interesting effects on life expectancy.

Guilty pleasure is anything chocolate.

Has money insecurities due to past. Will do anything for a bigger paycheck....anything

Leo: is medics apprentice. Has been working for 3 years.

Is quiet but loyal.

Has a gf back home. Sees runt as a little sister.

Runt and he have been pen pals for over ten years. A school project is how they ended up sending letters.

He knows what happened to Runt. He is the one who convinced Pauling to interview her.

Is shocked runt got the job was fully ready to tey to blackmail Pauling.

Runt: the youngest of the group. Only having a year of work under her belt.

Was trialed for six months before first battle.

Has alot to learn. But wants to do everything perfectly. Is rough on herself for this reason.

Can't lose this job. If she does she is sent back home or die. Has hallucinations so fears will be put into a loony bin if family finds out.

Is eldest of six. Loves her family.

Spy teaches her how to torture people. She enjoys it perhaps too much. For her she likes to know how people tick.

Blu engie (G): is quiet bur social.

Has a sadistic side. Will gutt you if given chance.

Second in command of Blu.

Was born without left hand, when engie lost his right he'd make jokes to his short cousin about it.

Is Dell's cousin. He is younger but taller.

Is patient and if mad gose silent. He dosent emote much unless he's with someone he likes or trusts..oddly enough..runt of red is one of those people

Pauling: finds scout cute but puts job first.

Is nerdy type. Has played dnd at least five or seven times.

Loves to collect rocks. Has a few scout and the mercs gave her.

Loves to read.

Has coffee more than anything else. Her hands shake because of this. Still is one of the best shots of the whole crew.

Teaches scout to read when they have days off.

Runt and her go out to get coffee and Runt gives her info she already knows but likes having a female friend.

Well that's it suffer I guess idk I got a comic to make!

[lunatic-pudge]

Scout SFW Alphabet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I'm gonna do this for all 9 mercs. I plan to write a Sniper one next. So be on the look out for more of these!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A: Affection (How do they show affection? And how affectionate are they?)

Extremely affectionate, loves giving and receiving affection. He's all up in your business 24/7. PDA is an absolute favorite of his cause he gets to love all over you and show others who you belong to

B: Best Friend (What would they be like a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Very loyal best friend. He's a great person to go to if you wanna get away from everything. He's naturally up in everyone's business so it was natural for you two to become friends, bonus points if you like Tom Jones cause he'd get you two VIP tickets to his concerts

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Like affection, he's feral for cuddles. He will try to cuddle you every second he can, especially at night when you two are going for bed. Is the big spoon but secretly wants to be the little spoon. It'd melt his golden retreiver heart

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking & cleaning?)

Right now, settling down isn't something on his mind cause of how young he is. He does plan to, just in a few years when he feels comfortable with it. Is not the best with cooking and is decent with cleaning. He tries his best. He tends to be more on the messy side but does make an effort to clean when trying to impress you

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Absolutley horrible at it. He's not good with break ups and struggles with it. Rarely can he bring himself to do it cause he's such a lovesick baby. It'd be quick and he'd immediately leave afterwards. I can see him being the type to snuggle up with a blanket, ice cream, and watching cheesy romcoms to cope

F: Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

It'd take a bit for him to have to courage to propose. He'd propose when he's finally ready to settle down. He'd be trying to pull Spy levels of romance for the big night. Poor thing would try to give a hearfelt speech before popping the question but he'd be blushing and stumbling over his words. Would be the type of person to propose with a Ring Pop ring

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Cause he's such a rambunctious fellow, sometimes being gentle isn't easy. It's unintentional though. He's just so hyped up on whatever the hell he's on that he forgets to be gentle. Though, he does know that there are moments when he needs to be, and those moments are good ones. He do be a good person to go to for comfort

H: Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Loves hugs, they're his drug. He's constantly giving hugs to you. The hugs are as good as they can be for a twink like him. He's thin and lanky so the hugs might not be as comfy like a hug from someone like Heavy would be. I feel like Scout just RADIATES warmth though so hugs from him on a cold day are amazing

I: I Love You (How fast do they say the L-Word?)

Wants to say it right away but knows he can't. Tries to wait for you to say it first but he might become impatient. But once that barrier is broken, he's saying it constantly. You could be just going to the bathroom and he's holding on to you saying how much he loves you, acting like you're leaving the country. He's very dramatic

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Can get jealous pretty easily. He's insecure and thinks you could do better. He's a pouter. He'll sit around and pout until you go and comfort him. But if he's hammered, he will throw hands at the person while you're trying to pull Scout away

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Constant kisses. Is very much a sloppy kisser. He doesn't mean to be. He just loves you so much and wants to show it. He's a cheek kisser. If he can't kiss you on the lips, then you're cheeks are enduring it. And it isn't just one kiss, it's a barrage of kisses for each cheek. Thank god he doesn't wear lipstick cause your cheeks would be painted red cause of him

L: Little Ones (How are they around kids?)

Loves kids. He's basically a big brother to kids. He loves being able to be such an important and guiding figure for them. But I feel that he wouldn't be a good father figure though whenever he has kids. He'd be trying to be his kids' best friend instead of their father. He needs help learning how to be a parent

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings start off with cuddles and trying to convince him to get out of bed and get some breakfast. After breakfast, he goes on a run and would love it if you joined him, it's okay if you don't. But after his run, it's back to cuddling. On days where the mercs don't have to fight, he refuses to get out of bed for the whole day. Preferring to stay locked in his room with you, junk food, and an endless supply of movies to watch

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights can be a little chaotic with Scout. He's still got a lot of pent up energy he needs to expel. When winding down for the night, he likes to snuggle up with you and read some comic books. He loves to be cuddled up, telling stories about the past.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait awhile to reveal things slowly?)

He's naturally open about almost everything involving himself. The really personal stuff takes time for him to talk about. It might take him a few years before confiding in you about his father and how he's on the fence about whether Spy is or isn't his father

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Surprisingly doesn't get angry quick. It's mainly cause of how self centered and dense he can be. There's two types of angry Scout: the fighter and the pouter (just like when he's jealous). When he mad he doesn't throw hands though, just verbally aggressive unless the person throws the first punch. I feel. But yeah, he's just not someone who gets angry, he's too busy barely having a thought in his head

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every detail in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Even though the doesn't have a braincell, he's very good at remembering facts and info about you. He's super good at remebering the most some of the most random facts about you. He loves when you try to quiz him of random facts about you

R: Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory with you is one of the nights where you two are locked away in his room, suggled together, watching some zombie movie. At some point, you both get distracted and compare hands, noting the differences between each other. While that goes on, Scout's already forming a devious thought of a suprise tickle attack. Pinning you down and tickilng your sides while you're helpless to his attack. Such an innocent and fun moment has his heart in a chokehold

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I'd say he's fairly protective of you. He would be the type of person to bark at people if they look at you the wrong way. Plus he's got his baseball bat, he's got guns, homie's ready to fight for you. He thinks of himself as the dominate one in the relationship so he doesn't expect you to protect him, but when that moment happens, he's melting. He's running to the jewelery store and picking out the most expensive and pretty diamond ring he can find cause that man is marrying your ass right there on the spot

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, and everyday tasks?)

Literal try hard. Puts a little too much effort into everything. It's the self-consciencous part of him. The part that thinks he's not good enough for you and you'll leave him if he doesn't go all out for everything. Please tell him he's good enough. Plz do something special for him plz

U: Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Again, he doesn't have good self-esteem so plz help him. I feel like he's also someone who bites their nails when anxious. I don't have much to say about this gremlin

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Very big on his looks. You've all seen him oogling his muscles on his Meet The video and how that one moment in Expiration Date where he's gesturing to himself when Spy said he was terrible with women. This man thinks he's a hot shot

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. You're his world and he's dedicated himself to you. He's a wreck when he can't be with you.

X: Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

He's a memer. He's making memes contantly. It's an addiction. He's also someone who could quote an entire Spongebob episode, word for word

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like people who are cold and distant. He's an extovert who needs constant attention and if you can't give that to him, then things won't be able to work out. He's not really an opposites attract person

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He's a restless sleeper. Constant tossing and turning. Also loves to cuddle when sleeping as well. He's a bed and blanket hog so make sure to have an extra blanket... and you might wanna consider getting a big bed like a Wyoming king or an Alaskan king bed

[get-more-bald]

what the mercs smoke:

scout: doesn't smoke. gotta have those healthy lungs. would indulge in a vape occasionally but would cough horribly and try to hide it (also horribly). he'd try to bum cigarettes off of everyone around him though.

soldier: likes those big fat cigars but most often he doesn't even smoke them, just holds them in his teeth. he thinks it looks cool and manly but doesn't really enjoy the smoke. he's an american in his prime, recruit.

pyro: who knows. I honestly think they'd like smoke in general but I'm undecided. weed? nicotine? something harder? maybe. full suit hotbox. isn't really a smoker.

demoman: rarely if ever but always from a pipe. he doesn't think much of it. I don't think he'd enjoy smoking though, so probably only when he's stressed. wouldn't really be very interested in anything stronger than a bit of weed - alcohol is his thang. his pipe is neglected and he bites it too hard.

heavy: has tried a cigarette once or twice. didn't like it. he just doesn't think about smoking, would probably decline if offered a hit. if convinced to try it again, he'd inhale, make a funny face, and try to hide a cough. he'd be chill about it though.

engineer: classic smoker. when stressed he chainsmokes, but it's not often and he doesn't make a big deal out of it. tries to usually have a pack on hand, but it's fine if he forgets. might try a cigar if he's feeling fancy.

medic: pipe man. smokes rarely, but if he does, he indulges in harder substances as well. he knows how to use them safely, too. he does care about general health and takes good care of his pipe.

spy: smokes like a pack a day. only the expensive, fancy brands, but at some point he couldn't tell the difference anymore. smokes to stay awake and to wake up and after every match. medic loves touching his lungs because they've gotten such an interesting texture. it's a bigger problem than he'd like to admit.

sniper: only on his off hours. sometimes just lies down in his van and smokes weed. has generally routinely scheduled weed evenings. isn't a huge fan of smoke but it's the easiest way for him. used to smoke as a teen.

[sardonic-the-writer]

↳ notes: art above by me. warnings for typical tf2 violence

↳ playlist: tracker/tf2 playlist

basic information

• tracker class

• tenth class

• specalizes in hunting down animals, people, objects, etc

• main weapons consist of snares and bear traps scattered around the map, but for close quarters combat a drop point blade is used. pistol if needed, but rarely

• on the battle field, they wear any sort of material that will help camafloge them. mostly a jacket that sort of works like spy's cloaking device but much weaker

• under the jacket and outside the field, they wear pants with many many pockets for any spare gear needed for traps, and a zip up jacket always left half open

• autistic. so so very autistic. undiagnosed however due to the time period, and just considered mentally ill. it's part of the reason the only job he could get was as a merc

• also trans. wears medical tape around his chest since binders don't exist; no top surgery yet. it's the 60's/70's and he isn't exactly keen to out himself surrounded by nine other paid killers. sometimes he finds himself wondering if medic would perform top surgery

• main friend is scout. ADHD/autism friends

• also gets along well with sniper. Both of them have tendencies to stay away from the explosions and stabbing down on the battle field, instead opting for their own little spots to do their jobs. they bond over that

• spy doesn't nessicarily hate them. which is a big thing, considering the fact that he hates everyone he works with

• borders between social and completely quiet. fluctuates depending on who they're with and how they're doing that day. i.e, always their best self with scout, very stoic when it comes to fighting

• has a record player. wouldn't sign the merc contract without a promise of one. had to buy their own records, though

• fond of miss pauling & her brief visits. has no idea if the sentiment is returned, but they don't really mind either way

• spy isn't allowed around them when they're drunk. tracker is not a very secretive or tidy drunk, so he'll just peel back layers of information from them until someone stops him. he did it a lot when they first joined the team, rude and sour as always, but eventually relented at the angry protests of scout

• scout calls them trackie for short. They pretend they hate it but it really just makes them smile to themself

• was in veitnam—has dogtags they hide under their shirt collar unless they forget. sometimes when they're feeling the reels of 'shell shock', they'll confide in scout since he went through the same experience

• night terrors.

• they wake up doused in sweat; throat raw.

• listens to a lot of fleetwood mac and queen. really whatever they can get their hands on though. Records are hard to come by in teufort so they can't be picky

• grew up in the south. it carries over into some of their daily mannerisms. not as much as engie, who's just full texan, but they have a strong love for sweet tea and bonfires. will occasionally make the former if they're feeling especially homesick, but that doesn't happen much

• absolutely chows down on sandwhichs with heavy

• has an obsession with chewing and blowing bubblegum. can't do it on the battlefield anymore though (they choked on it once and got sent to respawn. the following week and a half was filled with the worst heckling of his life)

• loves medics doves an insane amount. might be a little cautious of the ex-doctor himself, but they'll risk an impromtu operation just to hold archemedes for a few hours

• works with spy a lot. they're the only person that can even somewhat find out where he is or where he went. if it's the enemy spy, tracker will hunt them down or set traps to trip them up and send them to respawn. if it's their own teams spy, more often than not, the two will be paired up for missions together stealing the breifcase

• much like sniper, tracker gets sent on a lot of solo missions outside the gravel pit. tracking down targets and sending their coordinates to a hit man, or just killing them themself

• durring Expiration Date, tracker definitely takes the threat of dying more serious than the rest of the mercs

• wrote down an actual death wish to put in the bucket, but ultimately kept it to themself. and durring the next few days, they write letters to each of the mercs to give out on the last day before they die—but shred & burn all of them to pieces after finding out no ones going to die

• convinces himself that there's a time and place for heart-felt words, and it's definitely not anytime soon

• similarly to that, durring Meet The Tracker (the video is just entirely centered around him preparing for and doing their job), he doesn't talk much. just sets up traps and watches as people fall into or gets tangled in them

• does occasionally leave a comment

• "ooh, that's gonna hurt in the morning."

• "betcha he's gonna watch where he steps next time."

• "trapping never gets any easier. it''s like making a nice molotov cocktail. you gotta get it right every step of the way, or it ends up a burning pile of shit. i love it."

• the only shot we get of tracker doing anything outside the field is the ending shot

• it's dark as he lays with his back to the oak of a tree, a BLU corpse hanging upside down by rope, courtesy of a trap as they look up at the stars fondly

• it's fucked but so is everyone else

• not a good cook. i repeat, not a good cook

• knows how to pour cereal and maybe how to scramble eggs. but that's a hard maybe

• when it's his turn to cook dinner for everyone (since they all take turns doing their part) most of the time it ends up being one of the more disappointing meals. they try their best, and as time goes on they get better at cooking, but for the meantime only pyro is happy about the burnt eggs

• does not like to be touched. the most they can handle is the occasional ruffling of his hair, and even that can sometimes set him off

• overtime they get more and more comfortable with the mercs and some slight touches— smacks on the back, accidental skin on skin contact when handing things to each other, etc

• but on the rare occasion it all gets too much, tracker will blow up. and it's not pretty in the slightest

• the first time someone saw him completely lose it was spy

• it was on the battlefield. an enemy scout had found their hiding spot in a bush as he avoided their trap, and pushed them out of it, gaining the upper hand

• spy wasn't about to intervene in the first place. the newbie had to learn how to fend for himself

• his mild annoyance turned to surprise as he watched tracker lash out in fury, his spare hunting knife carving right through the BLU scout's chest cavity like it was hot butter

• even while invisible, and standing many meters away, spy could hear the heaving of their chest

• "bastard." came a frown from tracker, and a grim smile crossed spy's face as he watched them spit at the feet of the bloody corpse

• he hadn't told anyone about it, filing the information away in his brain for later

• he only let tracker know he saw them later—after they had blown up a second time. this time in front of the whole team

• no one died that time, but the communal showers were left in disastrous conditions for weeks

• he makes sniper drive him to town a lot for supply/grocery runs since the australian is one of the few who can drive (along with heavy, spy, & engie)

• tracker might also, just possibly, enjoy spending one on one time with sniper

• reverts back to more of an awkward state around him. doesn't really know how to read people all that well, and wants to actually form a bond with him

• "want anything from town while I'm in?" they asked, resisting the urge to set their feet on the campers dashboard

• "nah. but thanks, roo." sniper responded without looking up from the road

• tracker has no idea what 'roo' means, but figures it's good & sits back with a barely there smile

• when it comes to lil pootis, tracker is a prominent figure in the birds life

• will babysit him a lot; even if scout didn't ask them too originally

• gets uncharacteristically soft around pootis. especially when no one's around

• pyro saw the both of them passed out in tracker's room once with pootis curled on the mercs chest. they squealed & proceeded to drag the entire team into his doorway to see

• he woke up when pootis began to stir at all the noise

• never lived the infamous lil pootis incident down (everyone else thought it was amusing/sweet. he, in fact, did not)

• besides that embarrassing moment, tracker likes pootis a lot. keeps all the drawings he makes for them in a shoe box in his closet—right next to the drawings that pyro and scout have also given him

• pootis drew a piece of tracker & scout holding hands once with hearts around their heads

• tracker was quick to snatch it out of the eyes of the public with a poker face

• keeps it under his bed. looks at it sometimes and fiddles with his dogtags when his day's been bad

[doobnnoob-tf2]

Hiya :)

Big fan, lurker gradually shifting into ask territory. I love all your stuff :)

What do you think the merc's dreams are like? (If this hasn't been asked before)

Thanks!

I've actually done one for the Mercs' nightmares before, I'm more than happy to tackle the opposite!

Scout: he dreams about being back home. having become one of the best baseball players to exist and staying home and making his Ma proud. he has a job she can brag about, he gets to see her more often, even his brothers treat him with a little more respect for doing better in life than they did. it would make him feel sad that isn't his life, but as soon as he heads to breakfast and sees his teammates all loud and laughing, he knows it's just a nice fantasy and he wouldn't trade this life for anything

Soldier: his dreams focus on him being a war hero out on the battlefield. single-handedly saving his teammates from everything coming their way. all of them praising him as they exit the field for saving them all. the higher-ups even send him a special medal for him to wear with pride. he always wakes up feeling extra ready to get out there and get to work

Pyro: their dreams are very much like Pyroland. colorful, happy, always bustling and overstimulating. but that's how they like their world. it's childish and fun and it's the best part of their day if they're honest. they can hang out with their teammates, or go on wacky adventures that tend to continue somewhat from dream to dream even, or even just pick a spot and sit and chill the whole time they're there. they've mastered lucid dreaming and love having control and doing whatever they please

Demoman: he dreams of traveling. of getting out in the world and going from place to place. learning about the local legends and maybe spending time hunting them all down while he's there. he would want to put a book together about all he's learned. no stress about how many jobs he has, how hard he's working. it's just him and the world and he can live it however he pleases

Heavy: he dreams about retirement. this war ending and he can return home to his Mama and sisters and spend the rest of his days surrounded by them. cooking meals, sharing stories, knowing they're all safe. no more living in fear, or him having to be away from home for so long. it's just him and his family and he writes letters to his teammates

Engineer: he often dreams of farm life. in his dreams he always has his hand back, which leads him to believe he dreams of scenarios in which he/his family didn't get caught up with Mann Co. and all their nonsense. usually he's just enjoying the calm morning air and watching out over the fields, sometimes he's in the middle of chores. they're always peaceful, and yet they sometimes make him wonder if he made the right career choice

Medic: he rarely dreams at all, good or bad. it probably has something to do with his experiments. his dreams are often about having never gotten involved with mercenary work, become a regular doctor, have his own hospital that's world renowned and he's successful. but deep down he knows he'd be unfulfilled in that life. they're very nice dreams, he'll admit. he likes the moment of calm they bring to the otherwise hectic job he works

Sniper: after his parents passed away, a lot of his dreams became bittersweet. he'd dream about them again, about going home and seeing them alive and well. he wakes up and feels the need to go call them before he looks at the phone and remembers there's no one there to answer. it hurts but in a way it makes him think that maybe - just maybe - they're still thinking about him too somewhere out there

Spy: it rare he ever has a good dream. but when he does, it's usually about what his life could have been if he'd chosen to stay with Ma and raise Scout and her other boys. they're bittersweet as well, and often leave him laying in bed and thinking of all the regrets he has for not following through with it all. but instead of dwelling for too long, he goes to find ways to get stuck having to run errands with him, even if Scout annoys him the entire time

I am also SO very sorry it took me so long to get to this. I'd gotten pretty busy during January and got behind on a lot of things

[burgerhell]

WELCOME TO

BURGER HELL

RULES OR WHATEVER

• Don’t be a FUCKING FREAK (aka no proship requests or anything like that)

• This place is (mostly) SAFE FOR WORK. Don’t be Nasty unless it’s only a Little Nasty (suggestive) because we’re 17

• We’re a system and we’re writing about headmates sometimes so keep that in mind, they’re seein this stuff brother

WHAT WE WRITE ABOUT (look under read more for who specifically)

• Bigtop Burger

• Half Life

• Madness Combat

• TF2

• EMH

• The Amazing Digital Circus

My wife is also a big help with stuff I write!! We literally write Everything together his blog is @yanderefantasies LOOKIE HIS STUFF NOW.

Also check read more for Boundaries. Please and Thankies from McSpankies

FOR BIGTOP

• Everyone except Penny’s kid. Obviously.

FOR HALF LIFE

• Gordon Freeman

• Barney Calhoun

• Adrian Shepherd

• Vortigaunts lol

FOR MADNESS COMBAT

• Hank

• Sanford

• Deimos

• Doc/2BDamned

• Jeb

• Tricky

• Auditor

FOR TF2

• Scout

• Pyro

• … maybe others. NEVER SPY.

FOR EMH

• Jeff

• Evan

• NO ONE ELSE ESPECIALLY NOT HABIT

TADC

• Jax x Pomni

• Jax x Caine

• Jax x Kinger

BOUNDARIES.

Again we’re 17. Don’t be a FREAKAZOID. We’re alright with writing most ships, they don’t really make us uncomfortable. But we’ll say something if they do. Also we will very rarely do canon x reader but if we do the readers gonna be masc, probably transmasc or non-binary. Sorry feminine ppl.