#sometimes three in a week sometimes it's a drought for six months

[invinciblerodent]

i almost never have any like, bespoke modern AUs or anything, it's not really my thing usually when it comes to fantasy, but

I do feel like I might have a soft spot for a Marcus/Bellara youtube-essayist-collaborators-to-lovers AU

[infiniteimaginings]

chase davenport x reader pls the lab rats fandom is in a drought 🙏

I Missed You (Chase Davenport x GN!Reader)

Summary: Chase has been overworking himself with school, missions, his family, everything. He hasn't had time to see you recently, and no matter how he tries to open his schedule something else is added to his plate. So, you pay him a little visit just so he can take a break for a little while. Pronouns: You/Yours, They/Them Warnings: I won't lie, this is kinda angsty (but it ends on a good note!) Word Count: 1.4k A/N: THIS IS MY HUSBAND BY THE WAY. PLEASE REQUEST HIM MORE I BEG YOU GUYS! PLEASE! PLEASE, DO IT FOR ME!

One month, two weeks, one day, six hours, and twenty-nine minutes.

It’s been one month, two weeks, one day, six hours, and twenty-nine minutes, no, thirty minutes since the last time Chase Davenport had seen you in person. Along with that, it had been eight days, twelve hours, and seventeen minutes since he had last talked to you on the phone, since the last time he heard your voice. 

He had been keeping count because, god, he missed you so much. 

Davenport had him working on their next presentation of lab equipment, he had to go on a plethora of missions that have spiked up recently, there had been visits from their grandma, the house system had been tapped into three times, and he had to keep up with schoolwork on top of it all. 

He was exhausted, and all he wanted was to see you. He wanted to be in your arms, to hold you, to hear how your day was, just to be around you. But, he wasn’t. He wasn’t able to do any of that, instead he was in the lab, alone, trying not to fall asleep or pull his hair out.

Chase was the smartest person alive, he had abilities that people would kill for. He was relied on, because he is irreplaceable and a necessity to everyone around him. He is trustworthy, responsible, and far greater than he gives himself credit for.  

His family adores him, they do, even if sometimes they show it weirdly. Jabs with their words, or in Adams case their elbows, small comments, but they show the love. Chase knows they love him and that they care about him, they’re his family. Adam and Bree are his siblings that he grew up with, they love each other, even if they have a weird way of showing it. They are Davenports greatest creations and he reminds them of how important they are to him. Tasha is his mom, he finally got a mom and she cared for him like no one ever had. Then Leo, Leo is his brother who showed him, Adam, and Bree a world they never thought they’d be able to see. 

So many people care for Chase, but…None of them could ease him how you do.

You were just different. It’s as if when Chase felt the entire world crumbling around him, when all the lights got dark and he suddenly felt like he had no solutions, you held your hand out to pull him out of his drowning fears. You saw the ugliest parts of him, the most violent, the cruel, the broken parts of him that no one had tried to fix, and you still smiled at him. You still held his hand, even through the darkness, and you even said you were scared.

When you told him that, he almost blocked out every word after. The thought of you being scared of him, even a bit, crushed him. Chase almost pulled back, he almost told you to let him go, to let him disappear into that dark forest of unknown feelings but you wouldn’t.

He remembers so clearly when you told him:

“I’m honestly a little scared that you’ll go so deep into the code of your chip, looking for what’s happening to you…that you’ll forget you’re still human.”

Chase put his forehead on the table, groaning at the ringing in his ears. He needed to get all of this done. He would say the sooner he got everything done, the sooner he would get to see you, but everytime he tried, something new was thrown onto him.

It was all so frustrating that when he reached his newest project he just dropped his head to the table, hands gripping his hair shakily. He could feel tears stinging his eyes, and a bit of blood drew from how hard he was biting his lip to stifle any sobs that dared to pass his lips. 

He had never felt so overwhelmed before in his life, usually he was so used to the work. He was used to doing everything accordingly, but it all suddenly felt like too much. He didn’t know what he was doing wrong to feel like this, he didn’t know what he was doing so wrong to the point he couldn’t just finish all of the work.

As Chase thought of all this, your words constantly repeated in his head, just as they had the past few weeks. You were scared that he wouldn’t remember his own human feelings, because he was so used to being treated as if he was robotic.

Your concern just caused Chase to tear up even more, clutching at his chest. He could feel his heart beating, he could hear it through the ringing.

When did he forget that his heart was still beating in his chest? When did he forget that he was more than just the chip in his neck?

During his processing thoughts, he didn’t hear the sound of the lab door opening. He didn’t hear the sound of footsteps approaching him. He was usually so on guard, he had ultra-sensitive bionic hearing, how did he not hear someone coming up behind him?

A hand was placed on his back, startling him immediately. Chase quickly wiped his tears, turning to the person swiftly, ready to scold them for sneaking up on him. That was until he looked up and made eye contact with…

You.

You stood there, a frown painting your face as you analyzed Chase with your eyes. 

He stared, agape, lips parted, pupils shaking, face flushed as you observed him. He couldn’t tell if you were actually there or if he had been working so long to the point he had gone delirious.

You stepped forward, hands cupping his cheeks, thumbs swiping at the wet corners of his eyes. “You were crying?” You whispered, mostly to yourself, but Chase heard it, you knew he did.

The brown haired boy didn’t answer your question though, he left it ignored as if there was something more important than how he was feeling. To him, there was. That something was you.

The moment he processed that you were physically in front of him, he stood up as fast as possible, his head feeling as if it were spinning for a moment. He ignored the feeling and wrapped his arm around you, placing his nose into your shoulder, squeezing you tightly, “You’re here.” He mumbled, taking a deep breath. “You’re actually here.”

You nodded against him, gently petting his hair as you wrapped your own arms around him. “I am…” You trailed off, frown still on your face, “Is everything okay?”

Chase thought for a moment, leaving the two of you in silence, was everything okay? His face felt like it was burning and he wasn’t used to it, his eyes felt sore, his throat was a bit scratchy, and he still felt a bit dizzy.

But…

His heartbeat slowed down, his hands weren’t shaking, his breathing was regulated, his mind finally felt clear, and…You were there.

Chase smiled against your shoulder, nodding and holding you a bit tighter, “I missed you.” He told you, pulling back to see your face.

You blinked at him, a bit confused, tilting your head a bit. “Okay… how long have you been in this lab?” You asked him, now noticing how pale he looked, looking around and seeing the papers scattered around. You squeezed his arms a bit, “You need sunlight.” You stated, chuckling a bit, pulling him by his hand to the doors of the lab.

“I still have work-”

“Chase, the work can wait.” You told him seriously, shaking your head. “You are human.” You reminded him, flicking his forehead lightly, “You need proper food, sunlight, social interaction, and more importantly,” You paused, cupping his face, kissing the spot you flicked, “you need a break.”

His breath staggered in his throat a bit, but he found himself once again. Chase smiled at you, his eyes lighting up, “Okay, I’ll take a break.” He told you, placing his hands over your own.

“Thank you.”

He hummed, enjoying the contact, closing his eyes slightly to just stay in that moment with you. Chase opened his eyes once again, slowly to see you looking back at him, concern in your eyes. He smiled again, glad to be able to smile again, “I missed you, so much.”

“I missed you too.”

It had been seven minutes and twenty-six seconds since Chase Davenport was finally able to see you again, and he wasn’t going to let that time stop anytime soon.

[lesbiankimdahyun]

Dry Spell

4.0k words

Requested: Yes 

CW: GP!Nayeon, GP!Jihyo, breeding kink, sorry i know this is so long for just some smut pls forgive me

[Top!Nayeon x F!Reader x Top!Jihyo] 

You awoke early in the morning. The sex dream you’d just had dissipated quickly from your memory as you opened your eyes to check the time. 

Six thirty. 

You yawned and rolled over, wanting to sleep more, but then realized your body wasn’t going to let you off so easily. You couldn’t even remember what had happened in the sex dream, but now you were wet. Annoyingly wet. 

You’d been having frequent sex-related dreams lately, probably due to the dry spell you were going through. Normally you wouldn’t be so bothered by it, but these days you felt very (hot and) bothered thanks to your roommates, Nayeon and Jihyo.

Maybe it was the lack of sex, or maybe they’d always been that attractive, but recently you found yourself sneaking glances at them more and more. It made you feel guilty at first— these were your friends, after all! Who looks at their friends like that? 

They weren’t new friends to you, either. Nayeon and Jihyo had known you for a few years now, and you recently all became roommates in addition to friends after signing a lease on a three bedroom apartment a couple months ago. Since moving in, you’d all been spending a lot of time together. They were growing more touchy feely with you, which was nice, but confusing at times. 

You’d all cuddle while watching Netflix together, for instance. Jihyo would wrap her arm around you while you held Nayeon. Sometimes, especially if you’d watched a horror movie, Nayeon would crawl into your bed late at night and sleep with you. And recently, Jihyo had started waking you up on weekday mornings. You were not a natural early riser and normally hated getting up early, but you let her, because you knew that when she gently knocked and peeked in your bedroom, what she really wanted was for you to follow her back to her room to snuggle with her in her bed. Sometimes, on the occasional morning when knocking wasn’t enough to wake you, she’d throw a stuffed animal at your bed to get you up, usually her stuffed unicorn. Never at your head, but it always landed on you or next to you– just enough of a disturbance to wake you. 

Now it was summer, and all of you frequently slept shirtless but continued to share beds. Nayeon would wrap herself around you, her bare chest pressing right up against your back and her chin on your shoulder. With Jihyo, you’d absentmindedly trace shapes, words and designs into her back when you held her in her bed. Once, when you thought she was sleeping, she repeated back a word you had just written on her bare skin. “Pretty?” she mumbled sleepily. “You think I’m pretty?” Too scared to reply out loud, you wrote ‘yes’ on her naked shoulder to answer her. 

Though you were otherwise very close with them, you were too embarrassed to tell them about your sex drought. You tried to behave as normally (sanely, really) as you could. But they’d caught you checking them out a couple times over the last few weeks. Jihyo caught you capital ‘L’ Looking at her backside when she bent down to tie her shoes one afternoon, and Nayeon saw the way your eyes wandered up under her shirt when she reached for a mug on the top shelf in the kitchen. When the two realized you had done it to both of them, they started going out of their way to tease you. 

“How do I look?” Jihyo asked you as she got ready for work one morning. “What do you think…” she trailed off, adjusting her button down shirt. “Two buttons undone? Or maybe three?” she seemed to enjoy watching you blush as she made eye contact with you through the full length mirror in her room. 

And if it wasn’t Jihyo making you sweat, it was Nayeon. “Do you like this new skirt I just bought?” she had asked you the other day. To say it was short was a vast understatement. It barely covered her. You could hardly breathe as she approached you in it. 

“Feel it,” she said, bringing your hand up to the soft black fabric. “Should I keep it?” She turned while your hand was still on the skirt and suddenly you were touching her ass instead of her hip. 

“Well?” she’d asked, smirking. 

There was constant sexual tension now between the three of you when you were all together. No one acted on it, though. You were too shy, and if you didn’t say anything, they weren’t going to either. But god, you really were starting to suffer, all too aware of the fact that what you wanted most, despite all of your friends’ teasing, tucked away between both Nayeon and Jihyo’s thighs.  

Admitting defeat in being able to fall back asleep now that it was nearly seven in the morning, you thought for a moment. It was a weekend, so Jihyo was most likely going to be sleeping in this morning. And if she was sleeping in, that meant maybe now was your chance to relieve yourself. 

You listened hard for a few moments, checking to see if either of them were up yet. You didn’t hear anything, but you got up and opened your bedroom door, poking your head out to listen for a little longer.

Satisfied with the early morning silence that met you, you turned back and climbed into bed, not noticing that your door quietly swung back open after you thought you had pushed it closed. 

With your hand between your legs, you tried to think of anything and anyone else, but as you started touching yourself, your mind quickly wandered to Nayeon and Jihyo. 

Nayeon with her big hands and long fingers. You wanted to feel her fingers inside you, or at least in your mouth. 

You let out a soft whine, getting worked up now as your fingers circled your aching clit. 

And Jihyo, you could barely look at Jihyo when she wore taut, tight fitting shirts to work out. Having her know you thought she was pretty was one thing, but to have her catch you openly staring at her chest…

“Ah~!” you were closer to your climax than you had thought. You accidentally let out a whimper and cursed, pausing for a moment in case you’d been caught. You only stopped to listen for a second or two though, more interested in getting off than whether or not someone had heard you.

But Jihyo, whose room was next to yours, woke up to the sound of what sounded like a muffled groan. She was confused at first, unable to tell where the sound was coming from or what it was. 

She opened her door quietly and listened. The sound had definitely come from your room. At first she thought maybe you were crying, but then she realized the sounds she was hearing weren’t crying whimpers, they were sounds of pleasure. Jihyo was mesmerized as she listened to you for a few moments, then she quietly padded down to Nayeon’s room. 

A few minutes later, Jihyo emerged from the bedroom with Nayeon in tow. 

“Are you sure you heard what you thought you heard?” Nayeon whispered as they approached your room. She wiped the sleep from her eyes, still a little tired from being woken up early. 

“Just listen,” Jihyo whispered back as they approached your room. 

But not only did they listen, they watched. 

They really hadn’t meant to, but your open door gave them a very, very good view. Nayeon was fully awake now as she took in the sight in front of her: a very naked you with your hand working diligently between your legs, eyes shut and brow knit in concentration. 

And that’s when, unbeknownst to you, you really slipped up: you sighed, murmuring their names. Nayeon instantly started to get hard when she heard “Nayeon-ah,” fall from your lips. 

Meanwhile, Jihyo blushed, her eyes widening with curiosity. She was about to reach for your door to give you some privacy, but a sudden “please, Hyo…” from you made her stop dead in her tracks. Her own cock twitched with arousal in her boxers. 

Nayeon couldn’t stand to just watch anymore. She cleared her throat lightly, making you freeze and open your eyes. 

You looked up. To your absolute horror, Nayeon and Jihyo were standing in your doorway. Nayeon smirked; Jihyo looked surprised, but amused. 

“Well good morning, Y/N,” Nayeon said, breaking the silence. 

You started reaching for a blanket to cover yourself with, but Nayeon quickly stepped inside with Jihyo following. This had to be a dream. 

“What’s the blanket for? You want to stop?” the two of them were at the foot of your bed now, Nayeon with a fake pout on her lips. “Didn't it feel good?” 

“Those were our names, right?” Jihyo added, feigning innocence. “Is there something you need from us?”

You were frozen. This was not a dream. As you looked back and forth between them, you were grateful they weren’t scarred for life at what they’d walked into, but was this real? More wetness leaked out of you– your body certainly hoped it would be.  

“I-” you stammered. “I didn’t mean—”

“I think you did,” Nayeon cut you off, crawling onto your bed. “Go on,” she said, looking pointedly between your legs and then back up at you. “Don’t let us stop you.” 

Your hand almost followed her direction, but you hesitated, feeling vulnerable suddenly. 

“Aww, are you shy now?” Nayeon asked, with no trace of sympathy in her voice. She took off her shirt, allowing you a good look at not only her chest, but the bulge growing beneath her boxers. “That’s alright, Y/N. I’ll show you if you show me.”

Your eyes widened as she proceeded to pull out her cock. At full mast, her dick was of significant length and veiny like her hands. You were transfixed as you watched Nayeon start to slowly fist her hand over her aching member. 

“Ah, ah,” Jihyo’s voice snapped you back to attention. “Show us how wet you are.” 

Your face burned at the command, but you nodded. You sat up a bit as you spread your legs the way you had before, hand dipping back down to stroke your soaked clit. 

Jihyo’s mouth fell open slightly as she watched you. Unable to refrain from touching herself anymore, Jihyo’s shirt and boxers soon joined Nayeon’s on the floor and she quietly began to stroke her own cock. 

“Look at you,” Nayeon cooed as she watched you squirm. Your soaked pussy clenched around nothing. Touching yourself felt good, but you were unwilling to let yourself get off. If this was your chance to feel Nayeon and Jihyo inside you, you were going to take it. Nayeon seemed to read your mind. “I think you deserve more than just your hand to help you, don’t you?” 

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Need more.”

Nayeon nodded, inching closer. “I think so, too. Turn over for me?”

You found yourself obeying her quickly. As soon as you were on all fours, Nayeon came up behind you. You let out a gasp when you felt her fingers roam lightly over your clit. She teased you for a bit, planting light kisses down your shoulder and back before taking some of your wetness for her cock. 

You felt the bed shift and turned to look behind you. Jihyo had positioned herself right behind Nayeon. Her eyes went back and forth from your pussy to Nayeon’s dick, waiting her turn as patiently as she could. You caught her eye and Jihyo smiled slyly back at you. The way she was looking at you made you feel small, but you liked the attention.

There was no going back now. You turned your attention back to Nayeon. 

“Nayeon,” you murmured, shamelessly arching your back so she could see how wet and ready your pussy was for her. 

“Ready for me?” Nayeon moved closer to you, preparing your cunt as she rubbed the head of her cock along the folds of your entrance. You were about to beg, but then finally she was entering you, making both of you moan. 

“God, you’re tight,” Nayeon hissed as she took her time bottoming out in you. 

Her cock filled you completely; you could practically feel her in your stomach. This was exactly what you’d been craving for months. Every thought about being self-conscious, what you had to do that week, errands, breakfast plans– every relevant thought had simply left your head. You could only focus on Nayeon’s long cock and the way she felt inside you.

You clenched around Nayeon’s length, making her gasp. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” she said through gritted teeth. She grabbed hold of your hips, bringing your ass up a bit higher. Your front end sank down into the bed. 

“There you go, baby,” Nayeon said. The pet name made your heart race, you leaned back a bit, pressing yourself against her while she went deeper. “What a view.” The older girl started to slowly pick up her pace. “You really should masturbate with your door open more often.” 

You could only moan desperately in response, too distracted by Nayeon thrusting in and out of you to form a coherent reply. 

Noticing the reaction Nayeon’s words got from you, Jihyo spoke up too. 

“I bet she wanted us to see her,” she said. “Is that why you left your door open? So we could watch?”

You nearly wailed in response, hands desperately gripping your sheets while Nayeon increased to a relentless pace, pounding into you hard. 

“Doesn’t that feel good?” Jihyo’s voice continued to torment you. “You look so pretty taking all of that cock, kitten. You’ll have no problem taking me next, will you?” 

Hearing Jihyo call you ‘kitten’ was enough to make your eyes roll back for a second or two. You could hardly think, barely managing a weak nod for Jihyo. 

“Good girl.” Jihyo’s praise felt just as satisfying as Nayeon having her way with you. 

The older girl was getting close to her release. She hadn't expected you to feel this good. She pushed you all the way down into the bed save for your hips, which she held with a deathly strong grip as she mounted you from behind on your bed. Her strokes were deep, fast and consistent. 

“Y/N— close,” was all Nayeon could manage to say. The harder she fucked you and the longer she held you down, the deeper you slid into submission. You’d do anything, you realized, to make her cum. And not only did you want to make her cum, you wanted it for yourself.

“N-Nayeon,” your voice was hoarse, muffled against the sheets. “Don’t pull out.”

“Oh fuck,” Nayeon grunted. “You want it that bad, baby? Want me to fill you?”

“Please, please,” you begged, now on the verge of tears from all of the stimulation. “Use me.”

Nayeon cursed when she heard that. It sent her over the edge; her hips slammed into you and then slowly stilled as she came, emptying herself into you greedily. 

“Good girl, take it all,” she said, pulling you back and forth over her cock a few times to push her seed in deeper. When she felt she had fucked her load into you thoroughly, she pulled out. Nayeon grabbed your ass, taking time to feel you up before sitting back. As you pushed yourself back up from your mattress, some of her load trickled down your thighs. 

“My turn,” Jihyo said, growing impatient. Nayeon moved over, eyeing Jihyo’s cock curiously as she made room for the younger girl. 

With Jihyo’s help, you flipped over onto your back. She made her way between your legs, admiring your body for a few moments as you caught your breath. “Jesus,” she said, using two fingers to play with your swollen clit. “You really should have left your door open ages ago.” 

With your permission, she plunged two fingers into your core, making you whine. She watched as you desperately tried to grind yourself down onto her fingers. 

“Poor thing,” Jihyo teased, “Does your cunt need more cum?” She finally took off her shirt, revealing the rest of her body to you. You couldn’t help but stare up at her. 

She huffed softly in amusement. “Like what you see?” Jihyo’s voice was soft but authoritative.

“Yes,” you breathed. Your gaze dropped down to her waist, and then lower. Her throbbing member stood up against her stomach, and you watched as she pumped her length a few times. Her cock wasn’t as long as Nayeon’s but god, it was thick. Her own hand didn’t fully wrap around her dick, and you were suddenly grateful you’d taken Nayeon first.

While Jihyo repositioned herself, brushing the tip of her cock against your clit, you saw Nayeon out of the corner of your eye. She was getting hard again and her hand made its way back to her shaft.

The next thing you knew, Jihyo was letting out a low groan, almost a growl as she slid into you. You nearly cried out from the feeling, the sound getting caught in your throat and replaced with a gasp. 

She reached down to play with your clit as she carefully stretched you over her thick cock. You both took your time, with Jihyo and Nayeon both praising you sweetly every time you got another inch of her inside of you. 

“Oh my god,” Jihyo could barely contain herself when she was finally all the way in. Your cunt was warm, wet and irresistibly tight around her throbbing cock. 

She wanted to give you more time to adjust, but Jihyo’s need overcame her finally. “Can I move?” she asked, and you nodded, reaching to hold onto her forearms. 

She started excruciatingly slowly at first, both of you sighing and moaning as her hips began to find a rhythm. Your body rocked in sync with hers, and after a minute, you ground your hips against hers, letting her know she could pick up her pace if she wanted. 

With a devious smile on her lips, Jihyo really began to take off then. The sounds of wet skin on skin filled the room as she thrust into you, your headboard gently knocking against the wall. 

“Look at you taking my cock so well,” Jihyo praised, touching your cheek tenderly. 

“Doesn’t her pussy feel good?” Nayeon asked Jihyo, who nodded. “She’s dripping onto her sheets.” 

Jihyo leaned over you as she continued to fuck you, pinning you down beneath her. Her short hair tickled your forehead when she looked down at you, that’s how close she was, but what really distracted you was her chest bouncing right in front of your face. 

Your mouth watered. You tilted your head slightly to lick one of her small, pink buds. 

“Ah��” Jihyo’s eyes were locked on yours, a quick nod letting you know you could continue. Her pace stuttered for a moment shortly after as she watched you take one of her nipples in your mouth. 

She threw her head back when you began to swirl your tongue over it, gently licking and biting. 

For a moment you thought the roles had switched, but then Jihyo resumed her pace. A particularly hard thrust caused your mouth to pop open and release her, making Nayeon laugh and Jihyo smirk.

“Can’t focus when you’re getting fucked so deep, can you, kitten?” Nayeon’s voice made heat rise to your face. The way she spoke to you made you leak more, your juices coating Jihyo’s cock. 

“Look at me, baby,” Jihyo’s command made you tear your eyes away from Nayeon quickly. “Where do you want me to cum?” she asked. 

“In me,” you answered immediately. You went to put your hands on Jihyo’s waist to bring her closer, but she stopped you, pinning your wrists down to the bed momentarily.

“Hang on,” Jihyo’s voice was low in your ear, “Can you do something for me first, angel?” 

“Yes,” you breathed, wanting nothing more than to please her. She smiled, leaning in to lick your neck. You shivered with pleasure. 

“I’ll fill you up just like Nayeon did,” Jihyo said, starting to thrust into you again, “But only if you cum for me first. Can you do that? Can you be a good girl and cum on my cock?” 

You nodded wordlessly, clenching involuntarily around her dick. It made Jihyo’s breath hitch.

“Nayeon?” Jihyo asked, and suddenly Nayeon was beside her. The older girl’s unattended, hard cock gently knocked against her inner thigh. 

You were so distracted by it that you didn’t even notice Nayeon’s hand moving down between your legs at first. Jihyo’s strokes became deeper and slower so you could focus on Nayeon’s fingers as she rubbed and circled your clit, paying extra attention to movements that seemed to help get you close. 

“Shit,” you cursed, closing your eyes. “Y-you’re really gonna….” You trailed off. Your breathing became a little shallower as you realized you were close to climaxing. Your body began to tremble a little, your own release about to overtake you. 

“Gonna make me– yes, there,” you started to babble as Jihyo’s strokes and Nayeon’s fingers touched you in just the right spots. “R-right there, yes, oh p-please don’t stop, please please d-don’t st–” you cried out as your orgasm washed over you, hips bucking as you came on Jihyo’s cock like she asked. Your cunt pulsed from the immense pleasure, slick cum leaking out of you and down her cock. 

“God,” Jihyo said, giving you a few seconds to recover. Nayeon took her hand away, making sure you watched as she licked her fingers clean. You wished she would put her fingers in your mouth, but you didn’t have time to ask because a moment later, all you could focus on was Jihyo. 

Your cum had made it even easier for her to slide in and out of you, and now she was picking up speed again. Seeking her own pleasure, all you could do was throw your arms around Jihyo’s shoulders, clawing at her back lightly while she fucked you at a surprisingly fast pace. 

Your mewls gradually turned to whines and cries the longer and harder she fucked you, real tears running down your cheeks as she continued to use you. Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly take any more, Jihyo let out a sharp cry and then came, burying her cock deep and spilling her load into you. After you both caught your breath, she thrust slowly a couple more times for good measure, mixing her load with Nayeon’s. She was coated with cum and slick when she pulled out.

You desperately wanted to offer to suck her clean, but you could barely move, your body too ruined from the rounds of sex. 

Nayeon, hard again, looked at Jihyo’s wet cock as hungrily as you did for a few moments. No one won the pleasure of cleaning up Jihyo though, because then that reality of what you’d all just done finally hit you. 

“We should, you know, probably talk about all of this,” Jihyo said once she’d recovered. She tucked her hair behind her ears and sat back patiently, as if waiting for someone else to start the conversation. 

“Yeah…” was all you said, your eyes locked on Nayeon’s stiff cock.

Jihyo looked at you and then at Nayeon, who licked her lips as she finally looked up from staring at Jihyo’s dick. “Hm? What?” she asked.

Jihyo rolled her eyes. “We all fuck one time and now you can’t think of anything else?” she said.

“Oh come on, Hyo,” Nayeon said. “You’re literally getting hard again right now.” 

The younger girl blushed. “I am not!” She pursed her lips as she looked down; she lied, she was already at half mast again. “I- fine. Okay maybe, if everyone’s down… one more round and then we talk about this?”

[likeadevils]

this is so random but what are the longest writers blocks taylor has had?

she said this to parade in 2012:

"I do sometimes get writers block, and it's something that is a terrifying concept to me, but thankfully it never lasts more than a few weeks. The only time that it lasts more than that, and I let it last a little while, is after I've just finished a record. Because in order for me to finish a record, I have to have written for two years straight, and the only way I'll stop writing is if I just literally cannot write anymore. That's how I know that an album is done. And after something like that, you typically don't write a song for a good two or three months because you're just rung out. Which is fine, you just kind of wait for it to come back when it does."

she mentioned a six month long drought before the red sessions, which is the longest period of writer's block she's been explicit about. post-2012, the drought from the 1989-repuatation stretches is easily the longest we have between music that got released. she was writing sporadically throughout 2015 (ed said they had plans to write a song together, she apparently had some of ready for it written, a few lines from dress and new years day, and she was in the studio in october), but she repeatedly stressed she hadn't started the next album. i don't think we're going to know just how often she was writing in 2015 anytime soon, but i have my money on there being a pretty long stretch in there.

if you want a more in depth look i'll put it below the cut

pre-2007, it's a little difficult to know for sure about any long writers blocks. there's definetly long stretches of time where she could've not written a single song, but between 2003-2006 she wrote ~150 songs. which averages to roughly one song a week. 2004 and 2005 seem to take the lions share of most of those songs, but i’d be surprised if she went more than a month without writing a song

post 2007, we have significantly less information on unreleased songs, especially songs she didnt see fit to register or record, so it's hard to know exactly how constant her production was. early 2007 seems a little bit dry, but taylor said she "spent nearly eight months in Nashville studios recording 50-plus new songs" for fearless, so it's safe to assume she didn't go a super long stretch without writing (early 2007 seems like the main drought, though— we don’t have record of a song being written from december 2006-april 2007, and she was new to touring)

speak now, likewise, had pretty consistent production-- she told mtv in 2009 "As soon as I put out my last album, Fearless, the next day I was writing for the next album." from her myspace blog, she was in the studio every couple months from march 2009-january 2010, and most of the songs that made it on speak now are from march-june 2010. and then we don't know of another song until december 2010, 6 months.

between janaury-may 2013, we dont really know of any songs. she mentioned writing and recording a few times, but she mostly seemed very stressed about creating something new-- this response is the clearest example, but really anytime she was asked about her next project, she ended up talking about wanting to make something that didnt sound like anything she'd made before. which frankly it's insane she managed to write anything with that kind of pressure on her shoulders

2016 is when it gets reaaaallllyyyy hard to know if she's working on anything, outside of the released music. like there's no one to ask. so with that in mind:

theres a weird little dip in the middle of reputation? she writes a third of the album between september-october (Gorgeous, King Of My Heart, I Did Something Bad, Delicate), another third in january alone (Don't Blame Me, Dancing With Our Hands Tied, Dress, Look What You Made Me Do), and then end game in july and so it goes in september. that leaves Ready For It, Call It What You Want, Getaway Car, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, and New Year's Day february-may, but all of those could've been recorded at any other point in 2017.

the lover timeline is a mess of contradictions and lack of information. however we dont know for sure if she wrote or recorded anything before november 2018. like she probably did, but there's absolutely no evidence.

as far as we know she didnt write anything from august-december 2019. if i had to bet on there being a long period of writing block that we dont know about, it would be here-- between the press tour of lover, planning loverfest, her mother's cancer, and the betrayal of her masters being stolen, i wouldn't be surprised if was focusing on other stuff until my tears ricochet came around.

from march-december 2020 she was insanely productive, with the exception of october 2020, when to out knowledge she didn't write a single song that we know of. every other month she wrote multiple songs.

2021 is kinda weird, because you have the rerecordings to content with? she's recording fearless from november-probably feb, new stuff in march, red tv from may-june, and then midnights from november-april 2022. so that leaves july-november where we dont know for anything for sure (hits different and the great war were likely recorded sometime in there though)

then april-november 2022 where we don't know of anything for sure, but she said she started working on tortured poets as soon as she finished midnights, so like. there very well could be stuff in there.

[newstfionline]

Thursday, April 18, 2024

‘We’re a dead ship’: Hundreds of cargo ships lost propulsion in U.S. waters in recent years (Washington Post) Less than two weeks after Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge was destroyed by an out-of-control cargo ship, another huge container ship passed beneath a busy bridge connecting New York and New Jersey and then suddenly decelerated in a narrow artery of one of the nation’s largest ports. “We’re a dead ship,” said a voice over the maritime radio a short time later, invoking an industry term that often refers to a ship that is unable to move on it own. Three tug boats helped shepherd the APL Qingdao—a vessel more than 1,100 feet long and flying under the flag of Malta—from where it lost propulsion near the Bayonne Bridge to a safe location. The April 5 incident is one of hundreds in which massive cargo ships lost propulsion, many near bridges and ports, according to a Washington Post analysis of Coast Guard records. The findings indicate that the kind of failure that preceded the March 26 Baltimore bridge collapse—the 984-foot Dali is believed to have lost the ability to propel itself forward as it suffered a more widespread power outage—was far from a one-off among the increasingly large cargo ships that routinely sail close to critical infrastructure.

They criticized Israel. This Twitter account upended their lives. (Washington Post) Dani Marzouca was in bed trying to sleep when the phone started buzzing. An organization dedicated to publicly rebuking critics of Israel had posted on X a clip of Marzouca declaring that “radical solidarity with Palestine means … not apologizing for Hamas.” The 20-second clip, from an Instagram live stream, rapidly garnered more than 1 million views. Soon, the group, StopAntisemitism, was calling Marzouca a “Hamas terrorist supporter” and tagging their employer, the branding firm Terakeet of Syracuse, N.Y. Hundreds of people commented on X, LinkedIn and email, including one who asked: “Do you really have antisemites like this working for you, @Terakeet?” Within a day, Marzouca was fired. Marzouca, 32, is one of nearly three dozen people who have been fired or suspended from their jobs after being featured by StopAntisemitism, according to the group’s X feed, part of a wave of digital activism related to the Israel-Gaza war. Since Hamas attacked Israel on Oct. 7 and Israel responded by attacking Gaza, groups have poured resources into identifying people with opposing political beliefs, sometimes deploying aggressive publicity campaigns that have resulted in profound real-world consequences.

US reimposes oil sanctions on Venezuela as hope for a fair presidential election fades (AP) The Biden administration on Wednesday reimposed crushing oil sanctions on Venezuela, admonishing President Nicolás Maduro’s attempts to consolidate his rule just six months after the U.S. eased restrictions in a bid to support now fading hopes for a democratic opening in the OPEC nation. A senior U.S. official, discussing the decision with reporters, said any U.S. company investing in Venezuela would have 45 days to wind down operations to avoid adding uncertainty to global energy markets. Wednesday’s actions essentially return U.S. policy to what it was prior to the agreement hammered out in the Caribbean island of Barbados, making it illegal for U.S. companies to do business with state-run oil producer Petróleos de Venezuela S.A., better known as PDVSA, without a specific license from the U.S. Treasury Department.

Ecuador rations electricity as drought persists in the northern Andes (AP) Ecuador on Tuesday began to ration electricity in the country’s main cities as a drought linked to the El Niño weather pattern depletes reservoirs and limits output at hydroelectric plants that produce about 75% of the nation’s power. The power cuts were announced on Monday night by the ministry of energy. “We urge Ecuadorians to cut their electricity consumption in this critical week,” the statement read. “And consider that each kilowatt and each drop of water that are not consumed will help us face this reality.” The power cuts in Ecuador come days after dry weather forced Colombia’s capital city of Bogotá to ration water as its reservoirs reached record lows, threatening local supplies of tap water.

U.K. votes on ‘smoke-free generation,’ but conservatives fear ‘nanny state’ (Washington Post) Britain is poised to launch a world-leading project to create a “smoke-free generation” by effectively banning the sale of cigarettes to anyone born in 2009 or after. The legislation would raise the legal smoking age each year so that the prohibition would follow the generation indefinitely. Vaping, however, would not be affected and instead would be subject to other restrictions. Smoking itself would not be subject to fines. Older smokers would be allowed to continue to buy tobacco until they quit—or die. Sunak, who does not drink alcohol or smoke, and who is reported to fast one day a week, argues that saving lives is the conservative thing to do. Leading figures in his party have expressed their opposition, arguing that if people want to smoke, it’s not the government’s job to stop them. Sunak’s predecessor, Liz Truss, has dubbed the bill the ill-considered work of a “nanny state.”

Ukraine’s Vulnerabilities (NYT) Ukraine’s top military commander has issued a bleak assessment of the army’s positions on the eastern front, saying they have “worsened significantly in recent days.” Russian forces were pushing hard to exploit their growing advantage in manpower and ammunition to break through Ukrainian lines, the commander, Gen. Oleksandr Syrsky, said in a statement over the weekend. At the same time, Ukraine’s energy ministry told millions of civilians to charge their power banks, get their generators out of storage and “be ready for any scenario” as Ukrainian power plants are damaged or destroyed in devastating Russian airstrikes. With few critical military supplies flowing into Ukraine from the United States for months, commanders are being forced to make difficult choices over where to deploy limited resources as the toll on civilians grows daily.

Solomon Islands: The Pacific election being closely watched by China and the West (BBC) National elections Wednesday in the tiny Solomon Islands are being watched by world powers. With 420,000 voters deciding who will hold 50 national seats, the election in the small Pacific nation is being closely followed by China and the United States, five years after the Solomon Islands switched political alliances from Taiwan to China, with Prime Minister Manasseh Sogava signing a security pact with Beijing. Western concerns over the Chinese navy gaining a foothold in the Pacific region prompted the U.S. to try to improve diplomatic relations with the island nation.

Iran president warns of ‘massive’ response if Israel launches ‘tiniest invasion’ (AP/Forbes) Iran’s president has warned that the “tiniest invasion” by Israel would bring a “massive and harsh” response, as the region braces for potential Israeli retaliation after Iran’s attack over the weekend. British Foreign Secretary David Cameron told reporters in Jerusalem: “It's clear the Israelis are making a decision to act…We hope they do so in a way that does as little to escalate this as possible.” Israeli officials have also made it clear that a response was necessary, with IDF spokesperson Daniel Hagari saying: “We cannot stand still from this kind of aggression,” and allow Iran to get away “scot-free.”

Israeli tanks push back into northern Gaza, warplanes hit Rafah (Reuters) Israeli tanks pushed back into parts of the northern Gaza Strip on Tuesday which they had left weeks ago, while warplanes conducted air strikes on Rafah, the Palestinians’ last refuge in the south of the territory, killing and wounding several people, medics and residents said. Tanks advanced into Beit Hanoun in northern Gaza and surrounded some schools where displaced families have taken refuge. Beit Hanoun, home to 60,000 people, was one of the first areas targeted by Israel’s ground offensive in Gaza last October. Heavy bombardment turned most of Beit Hanoun, once known as ‘the basket of fruit’ because of its orchards, into a ghost town comprising piles of rubble. Many families who had returned to Beit Hanoun and Jabalia in recent weeks after Israeli forces withdrew, began moving out again on Tuesday because of the new raid, residents said.

A storm dumps record rain across the desert nation of UAE and floods the Dubai airport (AP) The desert nation of the United Arab Emirates attempted to dry out Wednesday from the heaviest rain ever recorded there after a deluge flooded out Dubai International Airport, disrupting travel through the world’s busiest airfield for international travel. The state-run WAM news agency called the rain Tuesday “a historic weather event” that surpassed “anything documented since the start of data collection in 1949.” That’s before the discovery of crude oil in this energy-rich nation then part of a British protectorate known as the Trucial States. Rain also fell in Bahrain, Oman, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. However, the rains were acute across the UAE. By the end of Tuesday, more than 142 millimeters (5.59 inches) of rainfall had soaked Dubai over 24 hours. An average year sees 94.7 millimeters (3.73 inches) of rain at Dubai International Airport. Some stranded passengers reported “living on duty-free.”

UN envoy lashes out at Libya’s feuding parties and their foreign backers (AP) The U.N. envoy for Libya, Abdoulaye Bathily, lashed out at the country’s feuding parties and their foreign backers at a U.N. Security Council meeting Tuesday and then confirmed he had submitted his resignation. The former Senegalese minister and U.N. diplomat, who has held the job for 18 months, said he had done his best to get the five key political actors in Libya to resolve contested issues over electoral laws and form a unified government to lead the country to long-delayed elections. But Bathily said his attempts “were met with stubborn resistance, unreasonable expectations and indifference to the interests of the Libyan people.” And he warned that these entrenched positions, reinforced by “a divided regional and global landscape,” may push Libya and the region to further instability and insecurity.

The Cloud Under the Sea (The Verge) The world’s emails, TikToks, classified memos, bank transfers, satellite surveillance, and FaceTime calls travel on cables that are about as thin as a garden hose. There are about 800,000 miles of these skinny tubes crisscrossing the Earth’s oceans, representing nearly 600 different systems, according to the industry tracking organization TeleGeography. The cables are buried near shore, but for the vast majority of their length, they just sit amid the gray ooze and alien creatures of the ocean floor, the hair-thin strands of glass at their center glowing with lasers encoding the world’s data. If, hypothetically, all these cables were to simultaneously break, modern civilization would cease to function. The financial system would immediately freeze. Currency trading would stop; stock exchanges would close. Banks and governments would be unable to move funds between countries because the Swift and US interbank systems both rely on submarine cables to settle over $10 trillion in transactions each day. In large swaths of the world, people would discover their credit cards no longer worked and ATMs would dispense no cash. As US Federal Reserve staff director Steve Malphrus said at a 2009 cable security conference, “When communications networks go down, the financial services sector does not grind to a halt. It snaps to a halt.”

Languages (Economist) Of the world’s 7,000-odd languages, almost half are expected to disappear by the end of the 21st century. Two culprits are usually considered responsible for this decline. The first is colonialism: when great powers conquered countries, they imposed their language in government and schools and relegated local ones (or banned them outright). The second is capitalism. As countries grow and industrialise, people move to cities for work. They increasingly find themselves speaking the bigger language used in the workplace rather than the smaller one used at home.

[solarwonux]

Lucky || Joshua

Dad!Joshua x f!reader

w.c: 3.0k

warnings: mentions of suggestive themes, mentions of pregnancy

note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays today on this fine night I bring you Joshua Hong as a father let’s all cry together thank you very much. I hope you like it let me know your thoughts <3

pspspspsp: @sunlightwoo it’s back hehe

masterlist

“Are you and momma still friends?” Joshua’s daughter questioned tilting her head to the side, clinging on to his neck as the waves crashed around them. Joshua grinned and pushed back her beach hair. “Of course sweetheart why are you asking?” He wiped her running nose with the back of his hand before splashing a small amount of water in her direction. An annoyed expression forming on her face reminding him of the similar scold you had given him hours ago.

“She put you in time out.” She shrugged and reached to the side of Joshua’s body. Cupping her hands underneath the clear blue water before throwing it in his direction missing his face completely. “That wasn’t very nice sweetheart.” He chuckled. A wave crashed pushing them back slightly causing his hold on her to get tighter.

She pouted and pushed his face away, turning her attention to where you and his mother were sunbathing. “You made momma mad, that wasn’t very nice either.” She argued and pinched his arm, a mannerism she had inherited from you and the only thing that you did that he hated. But no matter how much your pinches hurt, because they did. He couldn’t imagine living his life without your stupid quirk.

“Momma’s not mad anymore though.” Joshua smirked and attacked her cheek with kisses, whines fell out of her mouth. Eyes burned holes in the side of his and he knew you were sending him your infamous glares. The ones that could send him six feet underground, that is if looks could kill and being married to you would’ve sent him underground years ago. He was thankful they couldn’t.

“She said you were in time out for three days.” She held up her hand signaling four with her fingers. Numbers weren’t her forte. You and Joshua had tried everything to get her to understand that three and four were two completely different numbers but she was at an age where listening wasn’t something she liked to do. The two of you figured she’d eventually figure it on her own, though sometimes Joshua suspected she was doing it on purpose. Her teasing attitude was another thing she had inherited from you making Joshua’s list longer by the second. “One less finger bubs.” He brought his hand out and pushed down her pinky to form three with her small fingers. A smirk appeared on her face as she raised it again only proving Joshua’s suspicions.

“Okay love, but momma isn’t mad at me anymore.” He stated confidently meeting your eyes only to have you send him the middle finger making his mother laugh beside you. He silently cursed but thanked god that your daughter wasn’t looking because the questions would’ve been endless. And he had barely survived the where do babies come from interrogation last week.

He knew you were still mad at him. You were fuming to the point that you were giving the summer sun a run for its money. But he had a plan, one he was sure would have you forgiving him in seconds. Only problem was the little demon in his arms innocently playing with the water surrounding the two of them--hated sleeping in her own bed. And he couldn’t ask his mother to look after her tonight because she had taken your side in the stupid fight.

In conclusion he was in a bit of a pickle.

Half an hour, that’s how long it took him to put his daughter to bed. She had requested a bedtime story, Joshua over the moon had no problem in reading one to her. But then when he was done she had requested another one and this time he had to act out every single character while she judged his performance. This had gone on for half an hour until finally her breathing got steady and she was fast asleep. How the beach hadn’t tired her out was a mystery he would eventually solve one day.

Joshua carefully turned off the lights and placed her favorite stuffed animals around her, so that when she woke up she would be met with a familiar set of faces. He tiptoed out of the room and turned off the lights. Taking a quick glance around the room, making sure nothing was out of place and that her night lights were on before carefully closing the door. His body cringed at the sound of squeaking hinges and he swore he had stopped breathing while he stood there in the dark hallway, motionless. His ears perked up to see if he could hear any sound of movement from the other side of the door and once he was sure his daughter was still fast asleep he quietly made his way to your shared bedroom.

“She’s asleep, let’s hope she doesn’t end up in our bed tonight.” Joshua walked over to where you were standing in front of your small vanity that also doubled up as a dresser. “We wouldn’t be trying to break this habit if you hadn’t insisted on her sleeping with us for the last few months.” Joshua let out an inaudible groan knowing very well he was the one at fault. “How am I supposed to say no when she asks with that sweet innocent voice and then gives me the look?” He eyed you through the mirror before wrapping his arms around your waist. His chin resting against your shoulder while you applied your eye cream gently. “It’s like she knows my weaknesses and then uses it against me.”

“It’s not that hard to break you Joshua.” You met his stare through the mirror, a knowing smirk forming against your lips. You sent him a wink before grabbing your cherry flavored chapstick and slowly applied it on your lips. The action sending shivers up his spine, his mind racing as he imagined your lips on his. The thought of the bitter sweetness of the cherry flavor hitting his taste buds made his mouth water. But alas you were still mad at him and his plan hadn’t gone in full effect yet. Patience is what he needed.

“Are you still mad at me?” He pouted slightly making you shake your head in annoyance. You huffed at his obvious question and removed his arms from your waist, pushing him away gently before making your way to your side of the bed. “I already apologized, what more do you want me to do?” He threw his hands in the air before letting them fall to his sides in defeat.

“You lost my necklace the one you gave me when our daughter was born, sorry’s not gonna bring it back.” You took off the many throw pillows that decorated the bed and threw them on the floor. Usually you would put them on the lounge chair by the window but tonight you couldn’t be bothered.

“I already told you I’d buy you a new one.” He groaned and walked over to his side of the bed peeling back the covers, stopping when he saw the tears start to roll down your face, his plan long forgotten.

Lately your mood swings were giving him a hard time and although he suspected why, he wasn’t sure if he should bring it up when the thought hadn’t even crossed your own mind. At least that’s what he concluded when you hadn’t brought it up. “It’s not the same Joshua, I know it’s stupid to hold such sentimental value over something so miniscule but it meant a lot to me and you lost it.” Joshua sighed letting the sheets go and crawled on top of the bed, kneeling in front of you and bringing his hands up to your face.

“Baby I swear I thought I had put it in the pocket of my coat when you gave it to me.” He wiped away your tears gently and placed a kiss on your forehead. “It was there when we left the reception. I even called Minghao to see if the venue had contacted him but he didn’t pick up.”

“Of course he’s not going to pick up, he's on his honeymoon, Joshua.” You sniffed and blinked rapidly trying to keep the tears at bay. “My point still stands, I’ve looked everywhere for it.” He sighed and wrapped an arm around your waist as he brought you close. Your knees hit the edge of the bed making them buckle, your body landing on top of Joshua’s as he laid the two of you down gently.

“Did you check your car?” You raised an eyebrow locking your eyes with his tender ones. His eyes grew wide and faint blush creeped on his cheeks as he recalled the very inappropriate events that went down in the passenger seat on your way home from the reception. “N-No the thought didn’t even cross my mind.” He cleared his throat, your face breaking into a smile as you removed yourself from his embrace and laid back, letting your body sink into the softness of your bed.

“I knew you hadn’t checked everywhere.” You placed your arms underneath your head watching the ceiling fan. He was chewing the bottom lip as the realization finally washed over him a very annoyed groan fell out of his lips as he dropped his head. “When did you find it?”

You laughed and moved so your body was now facing his defeated one. “Right after we dropped off your mother at her house. It was peeking out from underneath the back seat as I was putting bubs in her car seat.” You placed a hand underneath his chin and raised it. “This a new form of torture. I’ve been suffering all day today.” Joshua whined snaking his arm around your waist and pulled himself up so his chest was against yours. “I deserve an apology?” He pouted before pecking your lips.

“I’ll think about it, right now I’m exhausted.” You grinned and pushed your hand through his dark locks leaning up and kissing his nose. “I want to keep talking to you. You barely said a word to me all day and watched me suffer. I’m in a drought come and save me.” He finished and cuddled himself further into your body, his head on your chest. You giggled scratching his scalp, small satisfied sighs escaping his lips.

When you and Joshua first met on a disastrous blind date set up by your mutual friends where he accidentally spilled wine all over your new white dress, marriage was definitely not in the cards. But nothing is ever set in stone and you should’ve known his charm would win you over when he walked you home that night. Silence raining over the two of you except for the sweet apologies he would spew out every few minutes, thus beginning your loving journey together.

“What are you thinking about?” Joshua whispered drumming his fingers down the side of your body before resting them on top of your stomach. “How dramatic you are.” You joked wrapping your arms around his neck. He hummed and cuddled himself further into your body placing a gentle peck against the skin of your collarbone. “I think you might’ve rubbed off on me then.”

You giggled feeling his hand rub soothing circles against your stomach. A smile played against his lips and you wondered if he knew the secret you had been carrying for the past two weeks. It had started out as a suspicion when the food at Minghao’s wedding had made you sick. Then your emotions started getting the best of you, snapping and crying over everything and anything. When his mother came over to visit and noticed your weird cravings she had made you take a test while Joshua ran to the grocery for some parsley his mother had asked for. He didn’t question it. He had no reason to since his mother had insisted on cooking dinner for the four of you that night. But when he noticed the parsley had been left untouched in the fridge his suspicions started to grow.

He had been oddly observant lately, doing everything with caution, putting your daughter to bed every night a task you usually did and no problem in doing. Acting out all the characters in the story for your daughter was one of your favorite past times. He had insisted that you needed to rest, claiming he didn’t want you to stress out too much and just relax. So you expected he knew and was just waiting for you to tell him so he could finally celebrate. You had to admit it was fun seeing Joshua walk around as if he were avoiding the cracks on the sidewalk and the unsolicited back massages were to die for but you couldn’t keep living like you didn’t know he already knew. As clueless as he had acted, he hadn’t done a very good job at it. And After your secret doctor’s visit yesterday confirming what you had already known, you had been dying to tell him.

“Cut the shit Joshua, when did you find out?” You looked down at him as he smiled widely causing you to roll your eyes. His insides bubbling up with joy as he laid back facing the popcorn ceiling. “You aren’t very good at hiding things. I found the test a week ago when I opened your bathroom drawer looking for the tiny rubber bands to finish our bub’s hair.” He turned his face sending you a playful wink. You groaned running a hand through your face, finally realizing that your plan of total secrecy was a total bust.

“And our daughter can’t keep secrets no matter how many green gummy bears you give her before dinner.”

“I knew it was a little weird when she asked for just green gummy bears. She’s never liked them.” You nodded and grabbed Joshua’s hand. You brought it up to your lips and kissed each of his knuckles gently before resting on the side of your neck, scooting yourself closer to his warm body. “But I do, really honey you should’ve known better.” He smiled and pinched your cheek gently before leaning down and capturing your lips with his. He kissed you slowly at first, the kiss getting deeper by the second as he rolled you onto your back and carefully straddled your hips.

Joshua smirked the taste of your cherry chapstick hitting his tongue making his mind run wild. Slowly he pulled away and kissed down your neck, making his way down your clothed body not caring that small pieces of lint were getting stuck on his plump lips. He rolled your shirt up and sent you a wink before peppering kissing over your soon to be growing belly. Excitement was an understatement and he couldn’t wait to show you how much he truly loved you making a mental note to shower you with more love than usual. His plan finally going into action as he heard your soft sighs escape your lungs.

“Mommy is daddy out of time out?” The two of you panicked and you pushed Joshua off your body making him fall off the bed landing on the hardwood floor with a painful groan. Your daughter laughed hard at her father’s pain while she climbed up on the bed before sitting down next to you. “He’s on probation, baby.” You stuck out your tongue at Joshua who was looking at you rubbing his lower back. “And when were you going to tell me he knew about baby bean?” You raised an eyebrow at her. Her eyes grew wide with realization and launched herself at you hugging you tightly.. “I’m sorry momma, daddy said he’d take me to see uncle Hannie if I didn’t say anything.” She sent her father an evil look and he knew he had lost this argument just like all the other ones.

“It’s okay baby.” You kissed her temple and pulled away taking her pouting face in your hands making your heart clench. “I can’t believe you Joshua bribing our daughter into secrecy.” You scoffed. Joshua looked at the ceiling wondering what decision in life he had made that lead him up to this moment where his favorite girls were ganging up on him again.

“That’s not fair you did the same thing?” He stood up and sent you an accusatory finger making you gasp out in shock. Your daughter copying your mannerisms. “I did no such thing right baby?” You looked down at your daughter who had taken it upon herself to get under the sheets and cuddle up to your side. “That’s right momma’s innocent.”

“I should’ve known the odds were forever going to be against me when I met you.”

“It’s what you signed up for.”

“Yeah and I wouldn’t change it for the world no matter how many times the two of you gang up on me.” He smiled and stood up before quickly jogging over to his side of the bed and laying down. He wrapped an around you and your daughter bringing the two of you close humming happily. Your daughter squirming as she tried her best to let herself lose which only made Joshua’s arm grow tighter.

“But make no mistake one day I will get my revenge.” He sent you a wink before reaching over and pecking your lips lightly and then your daughter’s forehead and laid back. “Baby bean is gonna be on my side and I can’t wait.”

“Don’t get too confident, I don't want you to end up disappointed.”

[sleepysera]

Aug 9 Headlines

WORLD NEWS

Climate Change: IPCC report is 'code red for humanity' (BBC)

"Human activity is changing the climate in unprecedented and sometimes irreversible ways, a major UN scientific report has said. The landmark study warns of increasingly extreme heatwaves, droughts and flooding, and a key temperature limit being broken in just over a decade. The report "is a code red for humanity", says the UN chief. But scientists say a catastrophe can be avoided if the world acts fast. There is hope that deep cuts in emissions of greenhouse gases could stabilise rising temperatures."

Greece: 'Unprecedented' massive forest fire ravages Evia (AP)

"The fire, which began Aug. 3, is the most severe of hundreds in the past week across Greece, gobbling up pristine pine forests as well as homes and businesses and forcing hundreds to quickly evacuate by sea to save their lives. Greece has been baked by its worst heat wave in three decades, which sent temperatures up to 45 degrees Celsius (113 Fahrenheit) and turned its prized pine forests into bone-dry tinderboxes."

Afghanistan: At least 27 children killed in 3 days (BBC)

"The UN children's agency Unicef said it was shocked by the "rapid escalation of grave violations against children". The Taliban have been making major advances across the country as foreign troops withdraw, taking six regional capitals since Friday. They have rejected international calls for a ceasefire. More than 1,000 civilians have been killed as a result of the conflict in the past month. In a statement on Monday, Unicef said the atrocities being committed against children were growing "higher by the day"."

US NEWS

Covid: More than 99.99% of fully vaccinated have not had severe breakthrough case (CNN)

"As of Aug. 2, more than 164 million people in the United States were fully vaccinated against Covid-19, according to the CDC. Fewer than 0.001% of those individuals — 1,507 people — died and fewer than 0.005% — 7,101 people — were hospitalized with Covid-19."

Florida: 6 members of church died of Covid in 2 weeks (CNN)

"In just two weeks, six members of a Florida church died from Covid-19. All were unvaccinated, their pastor said. Now the church is hosting a vaccination clinic. Pastor George Davis at Impact Church in Jacksonville addressed members during Sunday's service and said the past week had been very difficult."

Wildfires: Aircraft help fight California Dixie Fire as smoke clears (AP)

"Thick smoke that held down winds and temperatures in the zone of the largest single wildfire in California history cleared Monday from scenic forestlands, allowing firefighting aircraft to rejoin the battle to contain the massive Dixie Fire. The newly clear skies will allow more than two dozen helicopters and two air tankers that have been grounded to fly again and make it safer for ground crews to maneuver."

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part iv

And here’s part iv! I’d love it if y’all would reblog, this is a work I’m really proud of and the more people it’s shared with the better! My inbox is always open, and I’d love to hear your thoughts, even if it’s just “AAAAAH.” Enjoy!

part i part ii part iii

part iv

December 12

Cass grimaced, looking over at the tab on her laptop that had the Islanders game open. They were down 3-1 late in the third, and it didn’t look like they were going to be able to pull it off. It was the last game of a ten day roadie, and they had lost all but one against the Red Wings right at the beginning. And the Wings were 10-21, so it wasn’t even a confidence booster. To make matters worse, Mat was on a points drought; he hadn’t gotten an assist, let alone scored, since the first game of the trip, a 4-1 loss to the Blue Jackets. They also were playing a few players down, an MCL sprain and the ever-vague “lower body injury” kept the team from being at full strength. 

As the game came to a close, she didn’t even know if Mat wanted to talk to her. His relentless dedication was one of her favorite things about him, but it also led him to take things way too personally and be way too hard on himself even when  — especially when  — the situation didn’t call for it. He was probably beating himself up as the boys headed back into the locker room, being short with his teammates and trainers and whatever poor sports reporter had been sent to ask “how they planned on snapping this unfortunate streak” in the post-game interviews. He’d never be deliberately mean or unkind to anyone, but just like anyone, her boyfriend got stressed and overwhelmed and didn’t always know how to deal with it. I saw the game, she texted him, I’m proud of you. Call me if you want. 

Dec. 15 (wed)

Mat had barely spoken to her since the return from the roadie, and it was starting to get on her nerves. Texts were responded with single words, if they were answered at all. They were supposed to have visited the Met yesterday , but that hadn’t happened either. He had cancelled, saying that “some team thing came up” and he wouldn’t be able to make it. Barely apologized. And what pissed Cass of more than almost anything was that she wanted to help, she wanted so badly for him to just talk to her, she wouldn’t judge him or make him feel like he was a shitty player or a shitty person, but she couldn’t do that if he wasn’t even picking up her damn calls. Who do you talk to when there’s almost nobody in the world who understands the position you’re in? 

Maybe that was just it. She’d go to the people who did understand. Paige had added her to the WAGs Whatsapp group the week prior, and from everything she had gathered so far, it was exactly the sort of place to go for advice. Cass pulled up the chat, torn between not wanting to seem like she was oversharing but not really sure what else she could do. Hey, guys, she started. Mat’s been taking the losing streak pretty personally (as I’m sure a lot of your guys are) and seems to be pulling away. Any advice? I don’t want to push him but I know it’ll get worse if he just keeps it all bottled inside. Clicking send, Cass sighed, leaning back in her desk chair and trying desperately to study for her Environmental Law final. 

At some point after midnight, she closed her books and laptop with frustration. The test wasn’t until next week, but she wasn’t going to get anywhere trying to study as distracted as she was. She grabbed her phone, heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth and check the group chat. No fewer than six of the women had written back, some of whom she hadn’t even met, with long, sympathetic paragraphs overflowing with advice. She read them all, touched by the time, effort, and care that everyone has put into making her feel just a little less anxious. But the overwhelming message was clear. Find balance, but don’t let him blow you off. Be a support system, but you’re not his therapist. And repeated again and again, Talk to him. 

She tapped out a message before she turned her bedside lamp off, hoping that with morning would finally come a proper response from Mat. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow morning? You know as well as I do that we need to talk. I’ll be at Donahue’s at 8. 

Read: 12:23 AM

Dec. 16 (thurs)

Her foot tapped nervously, hands clasped tightly around the cup in front of her and beanie pulled over her head, curls poking out from under. He had read the text, but Cass had no clue if Mat was actually going to show up or not. He hadn’t responded. It was ten past eight, and Cass was just about ready to give up and head to school early. She had just put her laptop back in her bag when she caught Mat out of the corner of her eye. He gave her a small smile, equal parts nervous and almost  — bothered? “Hey,” he said softly, unzipping his puffer coat and sliding into the chair opposite her. “You said you wanted to talk?”

Suddenly, the whole elaborate speech Cass had prepared, about letting her in and supporting him and communication, left her mind. “Yeah.”

“So, talk,” Mat said, with a slight edge to his voice. 

She looked down at her cup. “I get that you’re disappointed about the losing streak. I get it and I’m sorry that you’re not doing as well as you hoped —”

“I don’t think you do get it, Cassidy —”

She cut him off. “Let me finish, Mathew. I’m sorry that you’re not doing as well as you hoped, and I do get how shitty it is when you know you’re putting in the time and effort and practice and it doesn’t seem like anything’s working, but you’ve barely talked to be about any of it.”

“‘Cause I don’t want to,” Mat mumbled. 

Cass leaned back in her chair. “And I get that. I get if you don’t want to talk to me. But you’re not talking to anyone. You’re not talking to Tito, I asked him and he said you’ve been just as closed-off with the team. You’re not talking to any of the other guys. And I’d bet you’re not talking to your parents or your sister either.”

No one gets it!” Mat said in frustration, a little louder than was necessary. “I go through so much shit and have so much pressure on me and…” He trailed off for a minute. “I don’t want to disappoint the team, I don’t want to disappoint the fans. I don’t want to disappoint my family. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Everyone had their ups and downs,” Cass started.

“And I get that,” Mat said, holding his head in his hands and looking down at her coffee cup. The same white-and-blue one he had gotten her two months earlier. “But it’s hard. It’s hard when I’m feeling like the fans aren’t getting what they deserve when they come to games, and like I’m not worth what they’re paying me right now. I know you want to, but you don’t get it.”

Cass looked away, turning her eyes to the street. The sidewalk was dusted in white, turning to slush every time someone walked past. It was the first snow of the year. “Then help me to.”

He breathed out, finally relaxing a little. “It’s not that easy.”

“I want to help you,” Cass said, leaning over the table and clasping his hands in hers. “But you can’t keep freezing me out like this, chou. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.”

Mat closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “I just don’t want this to become your thing too. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I know right now kind of sucks for me but that’s just how it is sometimes, you know? It’s just how it is and I have to get over it. I have to get over myself.”

“Mat, your well-being and mental health isn’t something you can just ‘get over.’ Or even something you should. I’m not a professional, and if you need one that’s something we can find,” Mat wrinkled his face, and Cass was pointedly reminded how often men’s mental health was ignored, “but I’m here for you to talk to. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

He ran his thumb over her hand. “But you didn’t sign up for this.”

Cas shook her head. “Mathew Barzal. This is exactly what I signed up for. I’m pretty smart,” he cracked a smile, “and I knew what I was getting myself into. Dating someone with such an unconventional job and schedule can be stressful, and frustrating, and confusing for everyone involved. But I chose it, Mat. I chose you.”

Dec. 21 (mon)

For once, Cass wasn’t headed straight home after work, or headed to a game, or — God forbid — back to the library to study. Her last final had been that morning, and she was free for three blessed weeks until the New Year. Which meant that she didn’t have to worry about turning in another essay or memorizing another case, which meant that she was more than free to go to the team Christmas party with Mat later that night. He had somehow been coerced into hosting, and Cass had promised to get to his apartment early to help set up. He was mostly done by the time she got there, so “setting up” turned out to mean setting up the bar and putting out snacks, Cass mixing up an enormous pitcher of her favorite sangria, a signature standby from her sorority’s Wine Wednesdays. 

Mat had even put up a proper Christmas tree, and Cass smiled at the piney scent as she headed down the hallway, bag in hand. “Cool if I change in your room?” She shouted down the hall at Mat, who was currently engrossed in pouring a bowl full of chocolate-covered pretzels. “Yeah, go for it,” he called back. Cass didn’t have a lot of excuses to dress up, but liked taking advantage when the occasion called for it. Her dress was short, red satin with a slit on one side and silver embellishment on the other. She used his bathroom to touch up her makeup, swiping her burgundy lipstick on and double-checking her brows. Cass shoved her work clothes back into her backpack, tossing it onto the plush armchair in the corner of his room. 

She walked down the hallway, which was pretty much bare save for a few pictures of his friends from home and one with his family on the day he was drafted. She was kind of surprised that Mat owned a single picture frame. Cass sat on the couch in his living room, looking at the Christmas tree. There were one or two Islanders ornaments, a paper Santa that she assumed had been a kindergarten art project, a photo of his family around the fireplace that looked like it had been taken a year or two earlier. Mat wrapped his arms around her, hugging her from behind. “Whatcha looking at, babe?” 

She smiled. “Your ornaments. They’re really pretty.”

“Not  as pretty as you.”

The door rang, Mat kissing her quickly before walking across the room to open it. A group of the younger players piled in, mostly rookies and call-ups from Bridgeport. One of them had brought along a keg of beer, and Cass had to fight back a laugh while showing him to the kitchen and setting it on the counter. He was just out of college, she’d stake her life on it. By the time she’d secured the keg and started getting people set up with drinks, the living room had started to fill up. “What can I get you?” She asked Paige, who had left Tito with the boys by the tree and made her way over to Cass. 

“What are my chances of getting a Moscow mule?” Paige asked. “I don’t want to be a difficult guest, but,”

“Very good,” Cass said, turning around and grabbing the vodka and ginger ale. “We don’t have the proper mugs though, so don’t be complaining.” One shot of vodka. Half a can of ginger ale. Squeeze a lime. She had bartended for a little over a year when she first moved to New York, and it was still one of her favorite things to do for friends. Mixing herself a whiskey sour, Cass wandered back over to Mat and Tito. 

---

It was well past eleven and the party was nowhere near stopping. While everyone was conscious of the noise level — for the most part, she had seen a few of the guys being reminded to use their inside voices — the conversations were still going and the drinks were still flowing. Cass had passed the tipsy point somewhere around 10:30, though she was nowhere near as hammered as some of the team. Or their dates, for that matter. She was cuddled up against Mat on the couch, heels long having since been abandoned and nursing what she was pretty sure was a vodka sprite with way too much vodka and way too little sprite. Whatever, Cass thought ruefully as she tipped the last of it back. It gets the job done. 

Mat was a touchy drunk, Cass had learned, and one hand seemed to have taken up permanent residence at her waist while he sipped a beer with the other. “What do you think Christmas will be like for you?” Cass asked softly, tilting up her head to look at him. “Since you won’t be with your family.” Mat knew it was a possibility, but he was still pretty upset when he looked at the schedule and realized that his family wasn’t going to be able to fly out to spend the holidays with him, and he didn’t have enough time to go back out to Vancouver. 

Her parents had extended the invitation for Mat to spend Christmas with them when she had been back up for Thanksgiving; he couldn’t make Christmas Day, but was able to carve out two days to visit. He smiled at her, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “You’re cute when you’re worried, y’know that?” Cass scrunched up her nose. “It’s not like I’m going to be alone. I’m doing Christmas with Beau, since Paige’ll be out of town too, and some of the guys usually plan a nice dinner thing for anyone who’s not with family.”

“That sounds nice,” Cass noted, still feeling a pang of guilt. 

“Hey,” Mat said, noticing her distraction. He sat up, turning her face to look towards him. “I’ll be fine. I’m a grown-ass man.” 

Cass cocked an eyebrow. “Sure about that?”

Mat giggled. “Okay, okay, fine. Point taken. But yeah, it would be nice to have my family, but I kind of do, y’know?” He said, nodding around to the guys. Cass could have sworn that in that moment, her heart melted. “And I want you to spend time with yours. I’d be kind of a shitty boyfriend if I didn’t want you to.” Mat leaned in, and his lips brushed against hers so that they were almost touching but not quite, hesitantly. Cass pressed against him, her fingers finding purchase in the baby hairs at the nape of his neck. She loved that he was letting his hair grow out. He tasted like whiskey and tequila and some cheap beer that she was pretty sure was Natty Light, but she couldn’t have cared less, just like she ignored the not-so-subtle wolf-whistles from the teammates. 

Everyone started clearing out around midnight, a few staying to help stuff cans and bottles into trash bags that were left unceremoniously in the kitchen to be dealt with the next morning. Cass yawned, rubbing her eyes. She had sobered up some, but was still well past the legal limit. “Whatcha doing?” Mat asked, seeing her about to order an Uber.

“Calling a ride?” Cass questioned.

“Why don’t you just stay?” Mat asked haltingly. “If you want.” Cass had obviously been over to his place before, multiple times, but hadn’t stayed the night yet. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, because she did, but it was something that was a big step for her. That meant a lot to her. But it was late, and she was sleepy, and Mat did make a really good pillow. “Okay,” she conceded. 

Mat smiled, taking her hand and leading her back to his bedroom. He rummaged through his dresser, grabbing an old Thunderbirds t-shirt and athletic shorts and handing them to her as she walked into his ensuite. “I don’t have stuff to get your makeup off, but there is soap?” He offered. 

Cass laughed. “I brought some wipes, but thank you. That’s really sweet.” She changed and took her makeup off, finding a spare toothbrush in one of the drawers and brushing her teeth. She popped out after a few minutes. Mat was already changed, dressed in pyjama pants and a comfy-looking heathered grey top. “The red toothbrush is mine now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he responded, cracking a smile. A few minutes later, she had claimed the left side of the bed and he had come back from the bathroom. They were lazily kissing, Mat’s hand just barely brushing the skin on her waist from where the shirt had ridden up. Cass was still tipsy and she knew Mat wouldn’t try anything, not like this, but God, it was nice just to feel close to him. After a few minutes he pulled back, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of the loose messy bun she had thrown together. “What’s running through your head, babe?” He murmured. 

Cass looked down, biting her lip. She was usually good with emotions, good with communication, but something about Mat made her heart skip a beat and brain go into overdrive all at once, and somehow she was convinced that it was the best feeling in the world. “I’m just really happy right now,” she breathed. “It’s Christmas, with our friends, and you...It’s everything I could want.” 

Mat gave the softest smile. “You, with me, right now? That’s all I could want, Cass.”

Dec 22. (wed)

Cass zipped her suitcase shut, double-checking that she had everything she’d need for her two weeks in Connecticut. It wasn’t a big deal if she forgot something, there was probably some stuff left in her old dresser, and her little sister Eliana was about the same size. Mat had just texted that he was almost there. Cass grabbed her backpack and suitcase, stopping for a moment to pop out the final few chocolates on the Advent calendar her mom had sent down. She closed her bedroom door, wishing a harried goodbye to Ryanne and Stella, and ambled down the stairs as fast as her bags would allow her. She didn’t want Mat to have to double-park and risk getting a ticket. 

True to his word, Mat was just pulling up when she came out of the building, waving one hand and double-checking the street was clear before flipping his hazards on and hopping out to help her put her bags in the trunk. Kissing him on the cheek in thanks, Cass slid into the passenger’s side, giving Mat a very pointed look when she saw that the first song on his playlist was Justin Bieber. “Don’t make fun of me,” he mumbled, blushing. 

“Who said I’m making fun of you?” Cass said lightly, trying and failing to hide her smile. 

They had decided that Mat would make the drive, since he was only staying two nights they had figured it would make more sense. The directions had been plugged into the Bluetooth system, and they had just made it out of the city when Mat looked over at the passenger’s seat, furrowing his brow when he saw Cass’s expression. Something was bothering her. “What’s up, babe?”

She bit her lip. “Nothing.”

“C’mon, we both decided we weren’t going to do this anymore. You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to, but I think you want to talk.”

Cass looked down at her lap. “I got a letter from the company that’s handling my student loans.”

“I thought you didn’t have any debt?” Mat asked quizzically.

She let out a single, humorless laugh. “That was for undergrad, and that was only because I was really, really lucky. I got some money from the school and I worked some, but that only covered about half of my costs? A little less?” 

“Which leaves you with how much?”

“A hundred and ten thousand dollars, give or take. They were sending me the payment schedule, I have to start paying it back late next year.” 

Mat breathed out. He knew that Cass didn’t come from money, but being from Canada and not having gone to college himself, he wasn’t really aware of just how debilitating student debt could get. “Do your parents know?” He asked gently.

Cass picked at a loose thread on her scarf. “Yeah. They helped as much as they could, but there’s three of us and they’re not made of money. “I, uh,” she paused briefly, “I told you I went to private school, yeah?” Mat nodded. “Catholic school doesn’t come cheap, so I was actually on work-study at my high school, which helped a lot. But I hated it.”

“Your school?” He questioned. 

She shook her head. “No, I loved my school. It was great. I just hated feeling like a charity case. My school’s in a pretty well-off neighborhood, so most of the families there had money, and some were like proper ‘old money’ New Englanders. I had some great friends and nobody ever really outwardly was an ass about it if they knew, but still…” She trailed off.

“You felt like you never quite fit in.” Mat finished.

She nodded. “It was hard and it sucked sometimes, but that’s just how it is, I guess,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. 

Two hours later, Mat pulled into Manchester, following Cass’s directions down the winding roads and corners of her hometown. “Do you think they’ll like me?” He asked nervously, eyes flitting between Cass and the road in front of him. 

Her brow furrowed. “Who? My family?” Mat nodded. “My family’s going to love you. You’re kind and you treat me with respect. That’s all they’ve ever wanted for me. And my brother already worships the ground you walk on, practically,” she added with a smile. 

“He’s a junior, yeah?” 

“Mhm,” she responded. Cass’s younger brother Noah was a junior in high school, and one of the best players on his club hockey team. Hockey didn’t run cheap and he had been lifeguarding the past few summers to pay for it, but it was all starting to pay off and he was having some interest shown by college scouts. 

Mat pulled up beside the curb in front of her house, killing the engine and shoving the keys back into his pocket. Cass popped the trunk and took her backpack, while Mat got his duffel and her suitcase. She reached for his hand as they walked up the driveway, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she rang the doorbell. 

“Cass!” Eliana squealed, hugging as much of her sister as she could manage around the bags. “Put your bags by the door, Dad’s grilling out back and I think Mom’s making your bed.” Mat had had an afternoon game and the two had left not long after, so it was dinnertime and Cass was ravenous. “Grilling in December?” She questioned. 

Eliana shrugged, closing the door behind them. “You know Patrick, you go be the one to tell the man he can’t make burgers in the winter.” She turned to Mat, also greeting him with a hug. “You must be Mat, Cass talks about you a lot.” 

Cass swatted her. “El!”

Mat chuckled. “Yeah. Mat Barzal, nice to meet you. Good things, I hope?”

“Only the best,” Eliana said, leading them through to the back porch, where her dad was grilling on the patio while Noah was doing sprints up and down the lawn. He almost fell when he spotted Cass and Mat, causing Mat to have to hide a laugh behind his hand. Her dad turned around, setting the spatula down when he saw them. Mat swallowed, sticking out his hand for a shake. “Mat Barzal, sir.”

“Call me Patrick. Good to meet you Mat, go get settled and we should have dinner ready in a few, okay?” Mat nodded. “Noah, pick your jaw up off the floor and go help them with their things, okay?” Noah ducked his head, brushing the dirt off his shorts before jogging over to where Mat and his sisters were on the porch. 

“Do I hear my Cassidy?” Cass could hear her mom inside, walking down the hallway with Noah and Mat before she ran into her by her old bedroom. “It’s me, Mom!” Cass said excitedly, hugging her mom. Mat initially went for another handshake, but she shooed it away, embracing him. “We’re huggers in this family,” she said by way of explanation, pulling away after a moment. “Ysabel Cabrera, so nice to finally meet you, Mat.” 

Mat smiled. “It’s great to finally meet you too.”

Ysabel pointed down the hall. “Noah’s got bunk beds, so you’ll be with him in there, it’s the last door on the left. Cass, I trust you still can find your room.”

“Yes, mamá,” Cass said, rolling her eyes. “See you in a few, chou.” He kissed her on the cheek, under the watchful eye of her mom, and followed Noah down the hall. 

---

Two hour later, Mat and Cass were cuddled together on the living room couch, his arm slung around her as they half-watched reruns of Parks & Rec. “D’you just want to do presents now?” He asked, looking down at her. “Because I know we’ve got plans tomorrow, and I don’t see how it really matters if we’re not going to be together Christmas Day.”

Cass looked up. “Uh, sure, if you want?” 

“Meet you back in a minute,” Mat said, hopping off of the couch and disappearing down the hall. Cass rolled her eyes, walking into her room, grabbing the envelope, and returning to the living room. Mat got up when she entered, proudly handing her a surprisingly well-wrapped present. 

“You look very pleased with your work,” Cass noted, laughing. 

“I watched a Youtube tutorial,” Mat admitted, “but did you know that there’s so much that goes into folding neat corners? It’s practically an art!”

“I’ll take you word for it,” Cass said, handing him his envelope. “Open yours first.”

Mat sat back down, running his thumb through the flap and pulling out a coupon. He looked at it quizzically for a minute. “Beer delivery?”

“Craft beer delivery,” Cass corrected pointedly. “Because I don’t want you to have to resort to Natty Light ever again. I saw your fridge, it’s actually the worst. You need taste, babe.” Mat snorted. “And they deliver to Canada, so you don’t have to worry about missing out on the offseason.” 

“I love it, pretty girl,” Mat said, kissing her. “Now open yours.” Cass carefully popped the corners open, unfolding the wrapping paper. My Beloved World - Sonia Sotomayor. “You said once that you really admire her, and I didn’t see it on your bookshelf, so I thought you’d like it.”

“I do, I love it. I love that you remembered even more,” Cass added. 

But Mat wasn’t done. “Open it,” he said expectantly.

Confused though she was, Cass opened the cover of the book. “It’s...signed? She said softly, reverently tracing her fingers over the inscription. 

“Yeah.” Mat went on, explaining, “I found it in this little bookstore in Brooklyn, and knew I had to get it for you. Knew what it would mean to you.”

“It’s incredible. You’re incredible. I can’t believe you’d do something like that for me.” 

Their foreheads touched. “Why wouldn’t I?” Mat whispered. “It’s for you.” 

And in that moment, there was nothing anyone could do to take away how happy that made her feel. How happy he made her feel. 

[evesbeve]

Hand In Hand

Wrote this a few weeks ago for the wonderful @blublublah! <3

Title: Hand In Hand

Summary: Ben was dead, and then he wasn’t. Sometimes that’s too much.

Content Warning: Panic attacks, sensory overload

(Read on AO3 + FFN)

___

Ben didn’t ask for his day to start cramped in a car with six other people.

He didn’t complain about it. There was already enough nagging going around about who should be driving, which route to talk, how much time till they got there—twenty minutes, Ben had calculated… It just wouldn’t stop.

After reverting the apocalypse, they all decided it’d be a good idea to get together as a family once a week. So far it’d only resulted in fighting, but Ben had high hopes for this week’s trip to the mall. If things got too tense, everyone could just go their own way, and then regroup later.

After all, as excited as Ben was, he was still not used to being part of the family squabbles.

It’d been almost a month since he’d been brought back from the dead, and everything was so new to him. He often found himself running his fingers through the pages of his books instead of reading them, snuggling in his bedsheets instead of getting up, holding his hot cup of chocolate in his hands instead of drinking it.

People. He could touch people, and it was amazing.

But hell, getting out of that car really felt like a rock had been lifted off his chest. His few seconds of freedom were cut short when Klaus grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled him up the stairs.

The first thing Ben noticed was how insanely huge the mall was.

He’d been there before, back when Klaus was living in the streets. It was a convenient place to spend the day when it rained.

And yet, as familiar as the scene before him was was, standing there alive was a brand new experience, almost a bit scary. The entire first floor was filled with a people—rush hour on a Saturday, what were they thinking?—and every few steps a new shop had its doors open, with flashing signs and music and everything a mall was supposed to have.

Ben held his breath and tightened his grip around Klaus’ hand.

“Next time you run off like that, try not to kidnap Ben,” he heard Allison’s voice behind him. “We kinda like him.”

He smiled, trying to forget about what was going on around him. “Thank y—”

“You may be fond of him, dear sister,” Klaus began, and Ben immediately knew it wasn’t going to end well, “but I adore him.” He pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, and once he finally let go, Ben gasped for air.

“You’re going to strangle him,” Five said, taking a sip from his cup.

“Where did you even get the coffee?” Vanya asked, quiet as always. “We’ve only been here for three minutes tops.”

Diego sighed. “Space jumped the moment I handed him his pocket money.”

Five rolled his eyes in frustration. “I’m not a kid.”

“Guys.” Luther stepped between them before they could burn down the entire building just by glaring at each other. “Let’s calm down and settle on what we’ll do?”

“I wouldn’t mind picking up some coffee for myself before starting,” Allison said. “So we could start with the food court?”

Ben felt Klaus let go of his hand and take a step forward, in the middle of their circle. “Diego here wants to check out a gym-store-thingy or something.” He squatted and flexed his arms, not caring about all the strangers staring at him. “Gotta invite all that muscle in his,” he patted his stomach, “sacred temple.”

“Not when you say it like that, I don’t,” Diego said pushing Klaus to the side. “But he’s right about the store.”

For a moment, no one spoke, and Ben’s attention was driven back to all the background noise, reminding him of how little space there was between them and all the other people. He almost reached out for Klaus’ hand again, to ground himself a little but—

No, that was silly. He was okay, just a bit dizzy. And maybe he had a headache. And maybe his throat was a little dry. But he was okay.

“Well we’re obviously not going to have lunch this early,” said Diego, “but I see no reason why we shouldn’t split up. Whoever wants to get something to drink or snack on or whatever can go get it, and we’ll regroup in a bit.”

“That’s okay by me,” Vanya said. “I could use a coffee too, so…”

Allison smiled. “Anyone else?”

Ben really wouldn’t mind something to drink. “Me,” he said, his voice raspy and quiet and not the way he wanted it to sound.

Klaus pouted. “You’re breaking up with me?”

Oh. Klaus wasn’t coming. He was staying with Diego.

Maybe it wasn’t too late for Ben to say he changed his mind. He could get some water when they stopped for lunch, and keep Klaus company. Then again, he’d been standing there looking at him like an idiot for enough time already, and he didn’t want to seem desperate. Not in front of the others.

“I’ll be back for you,” Ben joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit, and gave Klaus a pat on his shoulder.

“Stabbed in the back by my own brother,” Klaus mumbled and shook his head, but a smile was visibly growing on his face. “Don’t think I’ll forget about this, Benjamin.”

Ben smiled thinly. “I’m sure you won’t.”

“Ready to go?” Allison asked, pointing towards the escalators.

“I’ll come with,” Five said before downing the last of his coffee, then throwing the cup in the bin next to him. “This one wasn’t strong enough.”

“Isn’t this your fifth cup today?” Vanya asked as the four of them stood on the escalator.

Ben never heard Five’s reply. He was too bothered by how tight everything felt, their bodies close to each other, surrounded by strangers. He could feel someone’s bag rubbing against his calf, even though his jeans were long, covering his skin. He almost tripped when they reached the top—none of his siblings noticed, too busy chatting about things Ben couldn’t pay attention to—but he regained his balance and followed them quietly.

The further up they went, the worse it became.

The top floor—the food court—was almost as cramped with people as the entrance of the mall, maybe even more, only this time most of them were holding paper plates or trays with their food. Ben did his best not to bump into them, and even when it was all over, he kept staring into the crowd, making sure no one brushed against him.

“… you want?”

Ben jumped, turning to his right, only to see all three of his siblings staring at him. He cleared his throat. “Sorry?”

“I said, what do you want?” Allison repeated her question, and it was only then that Ben realised they had been standing in front of a counter to order their drinks.

He stood still for a few seconds, his ears warming up from embarrassment, while the rest of his body turned cold. “I, uh…” He anxiously looked around. “I’ll have what Vanya had.”

Vanya smiled at him, and Allison finished up the order. In just a few minutes, Ben had a cold cup of… whatever it was he ended up ordering, in his hands. He took a sip and his nose immediately wrinkled; mocha. Ben didn’t like mocha.

“Let’s go find the others,” Allison said, and they started walking again.

Ben held his cup close, nervously chewing on the plastic straw, sometimes even daring to take a sip—it wasn’t as if he could just throw the coffee away right after ordering it. He held his cup up, to see how much was left. He was going to be busy for a while.

He sighed, taking a step forward, only to realise his siblings were nowhere to be found.

Ben had been left behind.

That was okay. He’d just meet everyone on the ground floor. He looked around him, trying to spot the closest escalators, but his view was being blocked by a sea of people.

Ben was right in the middle of it. Right in the middle of said sea, and a new wave was coming, then another one, then another one. He did his best to ignore the sinking feeling in his heart, to find his ground again after feeling like he was floating, but everything was hazy, blurry, confusing, scary—

There were voices. People talking, yelling, laughing, kids screaming and crying, and somewhere in the distance he could hear a dog barking, and all the sounds, they were piercing through his ears, and—

He spun around, only to bump into someone. He was being glared at, but he couldn’t form an apology, and instead lost his footing, dropping his drink. His hands were now free, and the illusion—no, it wasn’t an illusion, it couldn’t be—of falling was getting more and more intense, and Ben tried to cover his head before the impact with the ground—

There was no impact. Ben wasn’t falling. He was spinning, or maybe everything else was, and he was alone and—

His stomach growled, threatening him to do something, anything, to get out of this situation, but there was nothing that could get him away from everyone, so Ben just stood there, hands wrapped around his stomach, trying to block everything that was being thrown at him.

The sight of nothing but people, the sound of footsteps against the ground, the smell of all different kinds of foods, the faint taste of bitterness in his mouth, the touch of all the strangers’ bodies brushing against his own, the fuzziness, the mumbles, the nausea, the dryness, the tightness, blurs, ringing, sickness, drought, suffocating—

—a flash of blue. Then another. Then nothing.

___

His body hurt. His head, his chest, his stomach. He was still falling as he looked around frantically, trying to spot Klaus, his family, anyone, anyone at all, but there was no one, nothing—

“…at me.”

Ben flinched away from the sound, wherever that was, his body brushing against the ground, until his back hit a wall, and the ringing came back. He tried to focus, to see what was happening, but everything was blurry, blurry and uneven and unknown and hostile and he needed to disappear before he made everything else do.

“It’s me,” the voice said, and Ben didn’t have anywhere to run to this time. Instead, he brought his knees closer, burying his head in them, and covered it with his hands. “Ben, it’s me, it’s Five, look at me!”

Ben crept his eye open, his vision slightly fixing itself until it finally focused on—

Five.

“I don’t—” Ben tried to speak, but his throat blocked his words. “I don’t understand, how… how can you be—how am I—?”

“Breathe,” Five said, slowly placing his hand on top of his, but Ben flinched away again. “Give me your hand, Ben,” he said, but Ben couldn’t process any of the words spoken. “Come on, give me your hand.”

His hand.

Ben nodded and hesitantly reached out for Five. It wasn’t until Five took hold of him that he realised how much he was shaking. Five guided their hands to his heart, Ben’s heart. “I need you to breathe with me,” he said. “Breathe, Ben, can you do that? Breathe.”

He did his best to follow Five’s instructions.

Inhale.

Hold.

Exhale.

Hold.

Repeat.

Ben felt like a little kid, hiding behind the counter on a mission, struggling to hold himself together right after slaughtering a bunch of strangers, fighting to push on through the tear in his stomach and the tear in his heart.

Five had always been there then, to hold his hand the same way he did now, until Ben was well enough to at least pretend he wasn’t hurting anymore.

Until he disappeared.

“Can you breathe on your own?” Five asked after a while. Ben nodded, and so Five started to pull his hand away, but Ben didn’t let him.

If Five was ticked off, he didn’t show it. Instead, he sat down, properly this time, next to Ben, his back also against the wall, and let him hold his hand.

Ben continued breathing, only then feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. He sniffled, wiping them with his sleeve, and looked around, trying to figure out where they were.

“Storage room,” Five said, as if he had been reading his mind. “I teleported us here.”

The flash of blue, Ben recalled. That’d been Five.

What in the world happened?

They stayed quiet for a while. Ben didn’t really know what to say, or even if he needed to say something at all, and Five wasn’t speaking up either. He was burning up with embarrassment without exactly knowing why, and hoped Five wouldn’t notice.

But Five always noticed. Despite rarely pointing it out, he’d been observant ever since they were kids. It often led to comfortable silences between the two. It was their way of coping.

“Feeling better?”

Clearly they weren’t doing that today.

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He should have calmed down by now, from whatever he just went through. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He wasn’t dead. He was okay, or at least he should have been, so why couldn’t he just—

“I get them too,” Five snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Get what?” Ben asked a little bit too quickly.

Five sighed. Ben could see the hesitance in his eyes—they always betrayed his emotions.

“Panic attacks,” he finally said. “After coming back from years of isolation, sensory overloads are to be expected.”

Oh.

A sensory overload. Yeah. That made a lot of sense.

Ben felt stupid for not realising earlier. The signs were all there. He could always tell when Klaus went through one—his senses slowly coming back after a fix, all his senses becoming more and more vivid—so he should have known.

And now Five was having them too.

Panic attacks. It made sense, after everything he’d been through, things Ben couldn’t even bear to imagine, but it was still a hard pill to swallow. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t,” Five interrupted, a hint of bitterness in his voice, but not towards Ben.

Ben pressed his lips together. “Does anyone know?”

“That you had a panic attack?” Five asked. “I told the others we wanted to check something out, so unless they somehow followed us here, then—”

“Not about me.”

Five mirrored Ben’s expression. “No.”

Ben wasn’t surprised. “You need to tell them.”

“No.”

“Five.”

“No.”

Ben sighed. “Why?”

“For the same reason you won’t.”

Ben bit his lip. Five didn’t want to worry their family, the same way Ben didn’t. As long as he could deal with it on his own, he’d keep quiet. He couldn’t risk having the others thinking he needed them.

Ben suddenly found it really difficult to swallow again.

“It doesn’t have to be today,” Ben said, ignoring the sensation, “but you know you can’t keep it a secret forever, right?”

Five turned his head away. “I’m the one that’s supposed to be comforting you.”

“You’ve always been shit at it,” Ben said, getting a huff out of his brother. “But you’ve already done it, okay? I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up. And I don’t just mean today.”

“Ben—”

“When you were gone, I missed you every single day. Every single one,” Ben said. It was as if he had suddenly forgotten about his breakdown. “I’d cry myself to sleep and beg for you to not be dead, but…” He took a deep breath. “And then at Dad’s funeral, you showed up, and I started begging again, begging I could talk to you.”

Ben tried to read Five again, but he was looking away.

“When I found everyone,” Five began, “you and Vanya weren’t there. And then I found her book, and your statue, and I—” He inhaled sharply. “When I realised I could save everyone except you…”

“But you did,” Ben said, squeezing Five’s hand. “You did save me.” He felt Five squeeze back, meeting his gaze.

They spent a few more minutes like this, leaning against each other in a comfortable silence, and Ben couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What is it?”

“Being alive is hard,” Ben said.

Five huffed, but didn’t bother to hide his smile. “Tell me about it.”

Ben almost did.

He held himself back though. He couldn’t do more emotions today. Not after everything that had just happened.

“We should head back.” Five said, as if he knew what Ben was thinking. “The others must be wondering where we are.”

We should head back. Ben’s mind traveled back to the crowd, back to the voices, back to the spinning and the suffocating and the—

“Vanya and I wanted to check out the bookstore,” Five said. “It’s quiet there, so…” Would you like to join us? Five was asking, in his own way.

Ben smiled. “Thank you.”

Five nodded and jumped on his feet, helping Ben up. “How does a shortcut sound?”

Even after they’d left the storage room behind them, Five didn’t let go of Ben’s hand.

[emeraldspiral]

So here’s the phase 4 release schedule in chronological order:

May 1st, 2020 - Black Widow

Fall 2020 - Falcon & Winter Soldier

November 6th, 2020 - Eternals

February 12th, 2021 - Shang-Chi

Spring 2021 - WandaVision/Loki

May 7th, 2021 - Multiverse of Madness

Summer 2021 - What If...?

Fall 2021 - Hawkeye

November 5th, 2021 - Love and Thunder

Notice anything peculiar? Let’s break it down;

The next Marvel release is Black Widow, almost a full year after Far From Home. It marks the end of spring/beginning of summer blockbuster season and is followed up by nothing for the entire rest of the summer of 2020.

The next release after Black Widow is Falcon & Winter Soldier, which doesn’t come until ‘fall’ of 2020, which at earliest would be September. 4 whole months after Black Widow.

Assuming F&WS is six episodes long and released on a weekly schedule, if it were to start the first week of September, it would end in the middle of October, about 2-3 weeks before The Eternals comes out on November 6th.

After Eternals, the next release is Shang-Chi, a little over 3 months later, on February 12th, 2021.

There are 12 weeks between Feburary 12th 2021 and May 7th 2021, when Multiverse of Madness releases. If both the Loki show and Wanda/Vision are six episodes long and come out on a weekly schedule they would have to come out one right after another immediately after Shang-Chi in order to finish their run before Multiverse of Madness comes out, otherwise the shows would either overlap with each other or with the movies.

After MoM the What If...? show comes out sometime in the summer. If it were to start at the beginning of June, it would have at least three months to complete it’s run before the fall season begins in September.

Hawkeye has a little over two months between the beginning of September and November 5th to begin and complete its run before Love and Thunder comes out.

Loki and Wanda/Vision are the only upcoming Marvel releases scheduled for the same period and the only releases guaranteed to either overlap with each other or other projects or leave zero breathing room between them. Every single other release leaves anywhere between a couple of weeks to several months of breathing room.

In addition, WandaVision should be filming right now and will likely wrap just before Loki starts filming, and MoM will likely start filming shortly before or after Loki wraps.

Everyone is expecting Loki to make an appearance in Love and Thunder, which would start filming long after Loki, WV, and MoM have wrapped and release months after all three have debuted.

Guys, I’m just saying; They knew they were making the Loki show before Infinity War even hit theaters. They could’ve scheduled it to debut way sooner, in the drought between Far From Home and Black Widow, or between Black Widow and F&WS, or Eternals and Shang-Chi, or swapped its position with the Hawkeye show so that it would come out right before Love and Thunder. But they chose to film and release it back-to-back if not overlapping with WandaVision and Multiverse of Madness, which are already confirmed to directly tie-in to each other.

[ediblegardenspointloma]

In My San Diego Garden and Kitchen

The past week was all about apricots. We picked the last one yesterday and the total harvest came to 64 pounds. This is the largest crop we’ve had in six years—about when the drought began and the winters tended warmer. The apricots do need some chill and we are two blocks from the ocean which moderates our temperatures. This year we had the needed lower temperatures. My husband also changed up some of his pruning techniques.

We capped apricot season with a cobbler over the weekend. My husband prepped the apricots while I made the topping. It was a luscious treat with a small scoop of vanilla ice cream.

In addition to a dozen pints of stewed apricots stowed in the freezer, I made pureed apricots for my grandson, Shiloh. Eleven little four ounce jars are in the freezer for him when he starts solids in a few months. Once again, TSA will inspect my suitcase when I travel to Seattle and wonder about these little frozen goodies.

Today begins the week of ‘Dorsett Golden’ apples. We picked 27 pounds recently and another five or so remain on the tree. I’ll be freezing a dozen little jars of pureed applesauce for Shiloh along with pints of the chunkier style that we prefer. The rhubarb stalks are hefty and numerous so we’ll make some rhubarb-apple sauce. To some of that I’ll add my strawberry guava puree which turns the sauce a lovely pink color.

A few blossoms appeared on our espaliered apple tree so likely there will be more soon and we’ll have a second smaller crop in the fall. This is a very productive variety. I’m also looking forward to some apple desserts too.

In Massachusetts we had three full-size apple trees and we often harvested 100 bushels and made 50 or more gallons of applesauce. Friends would come over after children were in bed. We’d work late making applesauce and split the take. We dried apples, froze apples and made cider. For now, we’re thankful for our little tree.

One lone off-bloom navel orange dropped to the ground. Along with a few more in the fridge, I plan to make more orange-almond granola and freeze some zest.

The very last of the lettuce was sorted into three piles. The top is for the humans. The pile to the left is for my friend’s rabbits . What’s on the right is suitable only for the worms in the worm bin.

The humans enjoyed a salad with the last of the lettuce. I planted more summer lettuce varieties this week in a container and six in dappled shade under the tomato plants.

I grew ‘Double Click’ cosmos from seed this year and have especially enjoyed incorporating them in bouquets. Sometimes I surprise myself and this bouquet delights me every time I pass by it in the dining room.

See what other garden bloggers harvested from their gardens last week at Harvest Monday hosted by Dave at Our Happy Acres.

[mininky]

Heavy Lies the Crown-10

Summary: (Y/N) has the fate of her people on her shoulders and according to a seer, the only way to save her kingdom from the bloodthirsty wolves is by giving herself to the god of the hunt.

Pairing: werewolf!Namjoon x reader

Warnings: angst. So much angst. Meantions of death, minor mentions of suicide

word count: 4.5K

Prologue Chapter one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven

   Being a royal had been stifling, confining, painfully restrictive with its rigid rules. You hated how it had created a forced path for you, one that you knew straying from could bring possible public execution. Being a Luna was so totally different in almost every aspect. It had been liberating, new, a role that while supportive commanded respect. The village saw you as a person though, not some unspeakable figure who lived far above them. Communication within the community existed harmonically with the werewolves, it wasn't simply a self-serving monarchy. But there were some things that made you feel like a royal all over again. Being one of the few privileged people to attend this summit with all the other packs for instance. Or the way the others at said summit regarded you. Some with open disdain. Others with passive-aggressive taunting. Then some with curiosity and a select few with kindness.    The summit would last one week. It had just barely begun, and already you wanted it to end. You suppose that a good Luna would take every opportunity to learn and be diplomatic. You had been a rather shit royal though, at least in the realm of diplomacy. Blunt, brash, 'unfeminine' yeah you made a shit princess. Strong, stubborn, fiercely loyal. You made a damn good Luna in that aspect. But you weren't about to try to be nice to a bunch of jerks. And if these other wolves hated you simply because you were a human or witch or a woman then they could transform into a wolf and sniff you ass like the lowly dogs they behaved as.    You were also completely correct about your earlier prediction that reading minds would suck. It really really really sucked. One hour. You had been here just one hour, and already you were reaching anger to a bloodlust level. If these men were so sure that you were just a weak little thing then you would snap their necks to show them the error of their thinking. Weak. Pathetic. A slut. Human. Witch bitch (you actually thought that one was kind of funny.) You were getting really tired of hearing their thoughts. You had been trying hard to block everything out, but the problem is that the angrier you were the less you were able to control your powers. Maybe you should just light the wood table on fire to scare them all and to call today to an early end.    One of the decent ones, Jackson, was speaking at the moment. Their village was dealing with a massive drought. The animals were leaving and now not only could they not rely on the crops but soon they wouldn't even be able to hunt. Fishing for trout upstream already left them unstable when their stream dried out. Namjoon was listening intently, one of the few leaders who was. You could tell that he was terrified, his village would have to move soon if things didn't change. Their homes would be abandoned, but he was afraid that the older ones would be unable to make the move safely. And where would they even move to? Where could they possibly go? Peace might not sustain if they tried to integrate into another smaller pack, so that was off the table.    "I apologize for not knowing the geographical location, but how far away is your village from ours?"    Jackson stared at you with curiosity, unsure how to respond at first. "Relatively close. We're about a day's distance away. Past the twin rivers to the west." Everyone was thinking loudly, most wondering why you were butting in. A couple thinking that the luna should know her place, to only speak when spoken to. Yep. Some things don't change much from the restrictive misogynistic human world.    "Good. We are relatively close. As long as our village agrees we will pool together to bring food and water to you twice a month. We have had a good season. Not only do we have ample crops but it's about to be mating season for the deers. We will have plenty to share." Namjoon was smiling at you. Flashing his dimples in a look of pure adoration. One of the other lunas was wishing that she was you and her mate was scoffing internally at Namjoon.    "Thank you very much." Jackson almost shouted out his glee, the rest of the group was rolling their eyes at his antics.    "Don't thank me yet. I told you, this will only happen as long as the whole of our village agrees." You tried to sound stern, but you couldn't help but give a small smile of reassurance at him. He was willing to do anything for his village, and he was an earnest man. One of the few good ones.    "So how's the problem with the humans for you Namjoon?" The man who was internally scoffing was now speaking, and while he was technically addressing Namjoon he was staring directly at you with venom.    "It's been resolved. We are now at peace with them, thanks to (y/n)." How kind of him, also how humble. It had been a joint effort. Had he just allowed you to be eaten in the forest you wouldn't be here after all.    The man scoffed, muttering something about 'I'll bet she did.' Maybe he didn't actually mutter it, but you know for a fact he thought it. Loud and clear.    "Do you have something you'd like to say?" The words came out strongly from you, without a hint of wavering or backing down. You smirked at his internal dialogue. He hated you, hated that you thought that you could speak to him at all. He hated that he also knew he couldn't put you in 'your place.'    "I just think that if it were me I would have slaughtered them all. Especially after they murdered Yoongi's mate, Hoseok's sister to boot." You felt ice run through your veins. You had no clue. How could you not know this? How had you never found out? You fought the urge to turn around and see Yoongi and Hoseok behind you. How dare this man capitalize on their pain just to try to get a rise out of you? Who did he think he was? Being a jerk to you was one thing, but using the loss of a loved one just to try to put you in, as he said, your place was pathetic. Lowly. He was lucky there were witnesses or you would have ripped his heart right out of his chest.    "You would wager another war? We did that, and it just resulted in more deaths. You, of all people, should know what war can do to a village." Namjoon's words carried a threat to them. Back down, be at peace or you will lose. He spoke calmly, clearly but you could tell by the way he moved forward in his seat and the tick in his jaw that he was holding back the beast within him that was ready to strike.    Silence fell over the room, some were concerned about a fight breaking out. Others were hoping for one, bored enough that they wanted to see a little action and even possibly join in as well. Finally, after a few very tense minutes someone broke the silence. The rest of the day went by painfully slowly. By the time that all of you were back in the cabin, you were emotionally drained and physically exhausted. You wanted to be back at home and in your own bed and not in the eerie summit grounds that remained empty all year except for when every pack leader and their cabinet came together. A place created for only this purpose, neutral grounds far far away from the comfort of the place you had come to love and call home.    Most of the inner cabinet was with you and Namjoon. Jin and his mate had stayed behind at the village. Yoongi and Hoseok were the last to enter the cabin, and part of you wanted answers but when you saw their pained expressions you knew that the wound was too fresh. They hadn't kept the information from you on purpose, it was just a pain that would hurt too much to open back up. You respected that too much to pry. They would tell you some day. Until then you would just be there as a friend to support them. You hadn't been with Namjoon long, but even the thought of losing him left you in pain. The thought of losing a sibling bringing anxiety in a thick black cloud. They had been through so much. How had you not noticed it?    Silently you stood in front of the two of them. It was as if they could understand. No one in the room spoke. All eyes, however, were laying on the three of you. An odd trio. A human and the men, the werewolves, who lost everything because of one. You stepped forward and pulled both of them into a hug, an apology tried to come out but when a sob threatened you closed your mouth. You felt their arms tighten around you. Hoseok was crying on your shoulder, Yoongi was gripping you with so much force you almost couldn't breathe.    Sometimes words aren't necessary. This was one of those moments. The three of you didn't need to speak to convey that the pain was felt and shared. You didn't know her, didn't even know her name. But you knew them. You knew that they didn't deserve that. No one did, but especially not them. You hated that they had endured this pain, that it still laid heavily on their shoulders. Sobs filled the air as Yoongi crumpled to the ground.    You and Hoseok followed him down to the floor, arms laying over him at odd angles. Soon Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon were there as well. If anyone would have walked in they surely would have seen a strange sight. Men crying loudly, their souls broken and screaming out to no one in particular as they held each other. How much had they all seen? War. Murder. Death. From their own kind and from humans. You vowed silently that you would never let anything like this happen again. You hadn't really wanted to be a witch, hadn't cared much about the powers. Until now. If there was any way you could use them to keep them all safe you would. You vowed you would. You played a larger role in life now, you were a part of them of them now. A friend. A luna. A protector. If you had to become queen of the supernatural to ensure their safety then so be it. You would do whatever it took to ensure that something like this would never happen again. Not on your watch.    You weren't sure how long all of you stayed like this. It wasn't until Yoongi and Hoseok were standing up that all of you moved. Jimin was sniffling still, tears running down his thick cheeks as he pulled you into a hug. He gave a muffled thank you to you. You weren't sure why he was thanking you. Maybe this moment of grief had been long put off. You were sure all of them were in pain, had long been suffering silently. Of course they had been. They were a family after all. They might not have lost their sister, or their mate, but she was surely loved like their own family. They lost someone too. They all did.    Eventually, all of you trudged into your separate rooms. You heard Namjoon shut the door behind him, your site a blurry vision as it focused on the ground. His hand wiped away the tears still falling as he kneeled in front of you. He placed his head in your lap and you automatically started stroking his hair as his hands wound around your waist. You might not be home, but as long as he was with you you'd always feel like you were. Home was with him, and this small moment of affection had you finally feeling better. Until you remembered that Yoongi could no longer have this. His mate. Dead. Hoseok's sister...gone forever. Pain rippled through in a new fresh wave all over again, crushing you heavily and threatening to choke you. Guilt and sorrow. Your people did this. You could feel Namjoon's silent tears staining your pants.    "I can feel it. I can feel everything you go through. You aren't at fault. Please, don't blame yourself." You tried to say something, but nothing came out. He was right. You knew you weren't at fault, but it still didn't stop you from feeling agony. You couldn't believe that you had never noticed their pain before. How could you have not realized that this happened? Then you felt surges of anger. How dare that man just bring up that topic, knowing that Yoongi and Hoseok were in the same room. How dare he disregard their feelings just to anger you. It worked. You were angry. You wanted to murder him. Not that it would do any good, but really he was a piece of shit. At the very least he deserves to have his nose broken. Maybe his jaw too, just for good measure. Namjoon is stirring, his face peering up at you intently. You're sure that he can feel the anger that's now flowing from you.    "I just...I hate that guy. He brought it up just to piss me off. He was thinking about how I should be put in my place, he said that to make me feel hurt. To make me feel small. To make me feel like a lowly human. But that is nothing, nothing in comparison to what he did to Yoongi and Hoseok." Your voice is scratchy from crying, and words laced with tired bitterness. Namjoon is moving up and onto the bed next to you, pulling you into his chest. His hands are soothingly rubbing your back and you feel yourself start to finally calm down as you hear a soft knock on your door.    "Come in." Namjoon doesn't move as he speaks and you keep your sight trained on the wall in front of you before Yoongi is suddenly in the way. You blink blearily at him, taking in his puffy red eyes and rounded shoulders. He looks so broken, just a shell of a person. Maybe he's always looked this broken, maybe he's just gotten good at masking it. But now he seems so battle worn and haggard, and you know the facade that he's okay can't be put up anymore. At least not tonight.    "Can I talk to you guys?" His voice is croaky and hoarse, it pains you to even hear him speak.    "Of course." Namjoon's words come out softly as if speaking too loudly might break Yoongi. They wouldn't of course. How can you break something that's already broken?    You don't speak, you just look up at Yoongi before quietly patting the spot on the bed next to you. He squints at the spot on the bed, clearly in an internal dilemma before he finally lets out a deep sigh and sits down next to you. He's rigid and awkward, clearly trying to keep a distance. As if being near you pains him. It's not you though, you know that just being around other people pains him. You're suddenly very aware of the fact that you and Namjoon are sitting tightly next to each other and you realize it's probably the fact that he's next to a couple. The very thing he no longer has. You shift slightly from Namjoon and look back at him, hoping he understands your movements before you're softly placing your hand over Yoongi's.    He seems so small, so tiny next to you right now. Like a lost child. You feel him finally relax before he starts to tremble as he speaks. "I just wanted to thank you (y/n). You would have really liked her. She was everything to me, she was amazing. Everyone loved her. I don't know how I got so lucky that I could have her in my life, even if it was so short. And then when I lost her I just got so angry. You have to understand she...she loved humans. Her favorite stories were all about kingdoms and palaces, and she used to wander out to the forest edge just to try to look inside the kingdom. She's the one who got Jimin so interested in it in the first place. I used to come home to see the two of them reading and laughing together, and they had all these plans. She...she wanted to meet a real-life princess. That was her life goal, she wanted to see what they were really like. If all the stories were right." You feel something break inside you at this admission. Gone too soon, gone before you could even know her.    "She never listened to me. She kept wandering out, even though we knew there were hunting parties and we knew that others had been slain. But she still kept going to the forest edge, and then one day she was gone. I knew she was gone, I could feel her die. I could feel the pain she went through, and I could feel her soul get ripped away from mine. I'm not even whole anymore, my soul has literally been ripped apart. And when we tried to find her body all we saw was blood and fur. They took her, of course, they took her. After all, they just wanted her fucking coat. I couldn't ever bury her, I couldn't even have a proper goodbye. And then I hated. I hated those humans, I wanted all of them dead. So I hunted them, I wanted revenge. But then I met you, and I wanted to hate you but I couldn't. How could I? How could I possibly hate the very thing that she always wanted to meet? How could I hate the thing she loved so much? I hated that I even wanted to hate you, I hated that I even hated humans because she would never have wanted that. But how could I not hate them? How?? Tell me how???? And now, I don't know what to do. She's gone. She's gone, and she's dead and I'm all alone. And when I hated everything it was easy, I could just live for hate. But now, now I'm just empty. And I'm so tired. God I'm just so fucking tired, I don't want to wake up. I don't want to wake up alone, I don't want to wake up expecting to see her face only to remember all over again that she's dead. She's fucking dead, all for some quick cash for some scum humans." He's sobbing now, his body shaking with force. His cries are straight from his soul, and the pain of it is infectious. Grieving has a way of leaving everything around you empty and hallow, and you know that there's not much you can do to fix that.    You take a moment to just allow him to cry. When was the last time he talked to someone about this? Had he ever? Knowing how private he is you're sure that he hasn't. For a year all this pain has been a festering wound, the infection toxically spreading to point of near nonfunctioning. When he finally starts to even out his breathing you speak to him quietly. "It's okay to hate Yoongi. It's okay to hate them. It's okay to even hate me. It's okay to be lost, and scared and confused. But it's not okay to want to die. It's not. I get why, but I need you to understand something. It's more than just about your friends. We would never get over your death, we would always wonder where we went wrong but even then there's still more to it. She left, far too early. She couldn't live out her life, she couldn't see much of it. So you have to do it for her. You have to live for her, you have to experience and do all the things that she would have wanted to. That's what you do now. Because I'm sure she's watching over you, I'm sure she's here with us. So do it for her. Live for her. It's okay to live. It's okay to be happy. It's okay to be sad even. Just please, please Yoongi. Please choose life, I know she wants you to."    Yoongi is just nodding at your words for a moment. Small hiccups bubbling up from him as he clutches to your hand. "Live...for her..." His word is a distant whisper, and you can tell he's not really speaking to anyone other than himself. The three of you remain silent as you watch the sun finally ebb away from the sky and darkness starts to fill the room.    "Yoongi, please talk to us. It's okay to not talk if you don't want to, but sometimes you should at least let us know. We're here for you. We're your family, and your ours. We love you." Namjoon sounds like he's on the verge of crying, just barely holding it together. Yoongi's grip on your hand tightens almost painfully for a moment before he's suddenly standing up.    "Thank you." He's looking over at the two of you with a tear-stained face before he's slowly making his way out of the room.    When you hear the sound of Yoongi's door closing down the hall you finally speak, sure to keep your voice down to just a whisper. After all, werewolves do have sensitive hearing and you don't want anyone to hear this. "Namjoon...what happens when your mate dies?"    Namjoon pulls you back into his chest, his head resting on top of yours. "It just depends. When they die very young, especially if it's before there's been a child then usually you'll find another mate. The universe has a way of making sure that everything balances out."    Something pulls deep within you, and you know you have to ask. "He has another mate now, doesn't he?"    "Yes...but I don't know who. I think I'm the only one that knows he does. The elder came by last month to tell me that Yoongi was very distraught and that he found out that there's another mate. But he wouldn't tell the elder who it was, he just kept saying that it wasn't possible. That he wouldn't be with anyone else. That he'd rather..." He never finishes the sentence, but you know what he's implying. Yoongi would rather die than have another mate. A part of you understands. While you haven't been with Namjoon anywhere near as long as Yoongi was with his mate, you're sure that if Namjoon died you wouldn't ever move on. Not really. How could you?    "I love you." The words come out choked, and even though you thought it was impossible to still shed more tears they're threatening to fall once more.    "I love you. So much. You're everything to me." Namjoon is crying freely now, and the two of you fall asleep that night clutching to each other in the darkness. Afraid that if the two of you aren't touching that somehow you'll be forced away from each other. At first, you dream of a world where you could have met Hoseok's sister and Yoongi's mate. A world where everything is whole and right and perfect but then the dream morphs and you see rivers of blood and clumps of fur all around you and you hear screams of pain and howls of death before you're waking up covered in cold sweat. You try to settle next to Namjoon, but you can't go back to sleep. Fear is crippling you, you can't shut your eyes and possibly see those same visions.    Carefully you extract yourself from Namjoon's tight hold. When you're sure that he's not awake you dress slowly and quietly. Dawn hasn't even arrived yet, but you can tell that it's approaching soon enough. You're not sure where you're going, but you know you need to get out of the cabin. Maybe take a walk, just enjoy fresh air because you still feel as if that nightmare is suffocating you.    You walk down the hallways as silently as possible, setting your way out the door when you realize that Hoseok and Yoongi are sitting in front of the fireplace. You freeze as you look at them. Dark circles and heavy bags under their eyes, their skin dry and sallow and somehow they look like they've aged in just a few hours. Hoseok gives you a small smile, but you can tell by the way it doesn't reach his eyes that it's an empty one. "Couldn't sleep either?" His voice cracks from not being used in so long. You shake your head no and look over at the door. You could leave, but now you don't really want to. So instead you make your way over to one of the empty chairs and silently stare into the fire. Even though it's crackling and blazing the heat doesn't reach you. It doesn't reach any of you. Sorrow has this strange way of making everything so cold, so bitterly cold.    You're not sure how long you stare into the orange flames. The room starts to become hazy with the morning light slowly pouring in, and somehow as you start to relax your realize that you can hear their thoughts. You're trying desperately not to pry, but they're thinking far too loudly. Hoseok is seeing a memory, and the flashes of a girl smiling up at him is suddenly in your mind's eye. She was so beautiful, so happy. It was easier when you didn't know her face, but now she feels all too real. Agony washes over you in new waves before suddenly the fuzzy thoughts of Yoongi are prominent and stubborn and no matter how much you try to run you can't get away from his thoughts. They aren't words or images. It's just pure pain. It's almost as though your skin is being stripped off of you as if a hot poker is searing you from the inside out. It's the pain of his broken soul that has you releasing a gut-wrenching, blood-curdling scream of pure agony before everything falls black.    You're not sure how you got here, but you know exactly where you are as you look around. It's a void of nothingness, and while before it had been calming now you feel your skin prickle with unease. You're in the same place that you went to when the seal on your powers was released. But this time there was no spell. This time there were no powers to unleash. This time it's different. This time you know you're not alone in the void.

[newstfionline]

Friday, July 21, 2023

‘Disturbing’ decline in global nuclear security, watchdog says (Washington Post) Nuclear security risks are rising for the first time in a decade, according to an annual index released Tuesday by the Nuclear Threat Initiative, a Washington-based watchdog nonprofit that looks beyond the well-known nuclear threats such as weapons proliferation, and toward less widely considered problems, such as the storage of weapons-usable uranium that could be exploited by terrorist groups or the safety of nuclear sites during conflicts. The report marks the first time that the organization’s Nuclear Security Index, in an attempt to piece together a big picture of the global nuclear threat, finds that security had gotten worse since the dataset’s origin in 2012. The report also comes amid spiraling geopolitical tension over conflict near nuclear sites in Ukraine and stalling efforts at nonproliferation and international regulation. The renewed concern is understandable: Some Kremlin officials have openly suggested that Russia could use some form of nuclear weapon if pushed too far in the conflict, while Russian troops left the infamous site of a Soviet-era nuclear disaster, Chernobyl, in a dangerous state of ill repair after a months-long period of occupation and looting last year.

Drug onslaught pushes violence to record levels in Costa Rica: Security Minister (Reuters) The influence of Mexican drug gangs and increased cocaine output in Colombia have pushed murders toward record levels in Costa Rica, a top official said, casting a shadow over a country that has long been a beacon of stability in the region. Costa Rica closed 2022 with a record 656 murders. But 2023 is getting worse: the tally jumped 42% in the first half of the year compared to last year, official data show. “We’ve got a Mexicanization of crime,” Costa Rican Security Minister Mario Zamora said in an interview with Reuters this week, pointing to increased clashes between gangs in broad daylight that has Costa Ricans worried about both their safety and the impact on tourism, on which the economy heavily depends.

Protesters take to Peru’s streets (Reuters) Tens of thousands of protesters took to the streets in Peru on Wednesday in marches organized by groups opposed to President Dina Boluarte, while police arrested at least six. Many Peruvians accuse Boluarte and her allies of illegitimately removing and jailing her leftist predecessor Pedro Castillo, which led to sometimes violent protests through March in which 67 people were killed. The unrest is also fueled by longstanding anger over widespread poverty and deep inequality that has persisted even as the major copper-producing nation has grown wealthier.

Facing a Future of Drought, Spain Turns to Medieval Solutions (NYT) High in Spain’s southern mountains, 40 or so people armed with pitchforks and spades cleared stones and piles of grass from an earthwork channel built centuries ago and still keeping the slopes green. “It’s a matter of life,” said Antonio Jesús Rodríguez García, a farmer from the nearby village of Pitres, population 400. “Without this water, the farmers can’t grow anything, the village can’t survive.” In Spain, temperatures reached 109 degrees Fahrenheit on Tuesday. Such heat and extended droughts have presented the threat that three-quarters of the country could be engulfed by creeping deserts over this century. Faced with that reality, Spanish farmers, volunteers and researchers have reached deep into history for solutions, turning to a sprawling network of irrigation canals built by the Moors, the Muslim population that conquered and settled in the Iberian Peninsula in the Middle Ages. The channels—called “acequias,” from the Arabic “as-saqiya,” which means water conduit—have made life possible in one of Europe’s driest regions, supplying the fountains of the majestic Alhambra palace and turning the region, Andalusia, into an agricultural powerhouse. Many acequias fell into disuse around the 1960s. Now, the intricate system, seen as a low-cost and effective tool for mitigating drought, is being revived, one abandoned acequia at a time.

Russia’s latest threat (Foreign Policy) Beginning Thursday, any ships bound for Ukrainian ports will be deemed a threat and their flag states considered a party to the war on Ukraine’s side, the Kremlin announced on Wednesday. On Monday, Russia pulled out of the Black Sea grain deal, which granted ships transporting grain from the region safety. This comes as Moscow continued its third straight day of airstrikes against grain silos in the Ukrainian port city of Odesa. The United Nations has condemned Russia’s targeting of critical food supplies, but Moscow seems unlikely to curb its attacks.

A Current War Collides With the Past: Remnants of World War II in Ukraine (NYT) Clambering over boulders, past old tires and shellfish-encrusted scrap metal, Oleksandr Shkalikov ventured onto the dry bed of a vast reservoir. Out in this wasteland rested a haunting reminder of long-ago battles on this same swath of southern Ukraine: a swastika, chipped into a rock, had emerged from the receding water. The year “1942” was written next to it. “History is repeating itself,” Mr. Shkalikov, a tank driver on leave from the Ukrainian army, said of the World War II-era carving. “We are fighting this war on the same landscape and with the same weapons” as those used in World War II, he said, evoking the heavy artillery and tanks that still shape the course of a land war. Ukraine’s military history is cropping up on the battlefield as well. Terrain and rivers have often channeled the armies of today into the sites of some of the fiercest fighting in World War II, when German and Soviet troops swept over the valleys and the expanses of wide-open plains.

Auckland shooting leaves 2 dead, 6 hurt hours before Women’s World Cup opens (Washington Post) A deadly shooting in downtown Auckland threatened to overshadow the opening game of the Women’s World Cup on Thursday, although New Zealand’s prime minister said the event will go ahead as planned, with an increased police presence. A lone gunman armed with a pump-action shotgun entered a construction site not far from where many of the teams are staying on Thursday morning, barely 12 hours before the opening game. Two people were killed and six wounded, including a police officer. The gunman was found dead a short time later after a standoff with armed police. Prime Minister Chris Hipkins said initial investigations indicated that there wasn’t any political or ideological motivation to the shooting. Gun-related violence is rare here and gun controls are strict.

Quran burning threatens Iraq-Sweden ties (Foreign Policy) Iraq threatened to sever diplomatic ties with Sweden on Thursday over the desecration of a Quran in Stockholm. Swedish residents, with authorization from the nation’s police and protected by the country’s extensive freedom of speech laws, kicked and destroyed the holy Islamic text as well as stomped on an Iraqi flag outside the Iraqi Embassy. In response, supporters of Iraqi Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr stormed and set fire to the Swedish Embassy in Iraq and urged Baghdad to cut ties with Stockholm entirely. No staff members were injured. The Iraqi government has since condemned the facility’s partial burning, but Iraqi officials expelled the Swedish ambassador, recalled its chargé d’affaires in Sweden, and suspended Swedish telecommunications company Ericsson’s working permit “in response to the repeated permission of the Swedish government to burn the Holy Quran, insult Islamic sanctities, and burn the Iraqi flag,” Prime Minister Mohammed Shia al-Sudani tweeted.

As water shortages intensify Iran’s heat wave, authorities shift blame (Washington Post) Taps are running dry across Iran. On Sunday, a record-breaking confluence of heat and humidity translated to an off-the-charts heat index value of more than 150 degrees, at the very limits of human survival, measured at Iran’s Persian Gulf International Airport. Earlier this month, more than 1,000 people sought medical treatment after dust storms ravaged the country’s water-starved southeast. From Tehran to rural regions, people are posting videos to social media complaining of days on end in the heat without running water, their faucets emitting nothing but murky drops. The water shortages, which experts say are driven in large part by decades of mismanagement, are a long-standing problem. But they have grown more severe as climate change accelerates—and are an increasing driver of discontent, sparking protests and confrontations in recent years. In public messaging, Iran’s leaders have sought to deflect blame to the Taliban, which rules in neighboring Afghanistan, for restricting water flow in the Helmand River. Officials have also blamed floods and fallen rocks, for disrupting the operation of dams around Tehran, and ordinary citizens, for their consumption of water and electricity. But those explanations have left many unsatisfied, and still thirsty.

They fled Syria’s shattering civil war. Now, Syrian refugees in Jordan fear being forced to return (AP) As Jordan hosted regional talks this spring aimed at ending Syria’s isolation after more than a decade of civil war, Syrian refugee Suzanne Dabdoob felt a deep pressure in her brain and in her ears, she said, a fear she hadn’t felt since arriving to Jordan 10 years ago. Ahead of the meeting, Syrian President Bashar Assad agreed that 1,000 Syrian refugees living in Jordan would be allowed to safely return home—a test case for the repatriation of far greater numbers. Jordan’s top diplomat spoke only of voluntary returns. But panic spread through working-class east Amman, where Dabdoob and many other Syrians have built new lives in multistory, cement-block buildings. “I would rather die right here than go back to Syria,” said Dabdoob, 37, whose home was razed by airstrikes in the Syrian city of Homs. As Middle East countries strained by vast numbers of refugees restore relations with Assad, many Syrians who fled are now terrified by the prospect of returning to a country shattered by war and controlled by the same authoritarian leader who brutally crushed the 2011 rebellion. Even as public hostility and economic misery in neighboring countries has squeezed Syrian refugees, few are clamoring to return.

Escalating violence in Congo (AP) The United Nations warned that violence in northeastern Congo has escalated significantly, with more than 40 civilians killed in three days. More than 600 people have been killed and 345,000 displaced in Ituri province so far this year, according to Stephane Dujarric, a United Nation’s spokesman. Conflict has simmered in eastern Congo for decades as more than 120 armed groups fight for control of valuable mineral resources and some to protect their communities. Mass killings by rebel groups are frequent, and the violence has triggered an exodus of refugees. The statement comes on the heels of two attacks in the country’s northeast that left nearly two dozen people dead. Such attacks often uproot entire communities, and many residents flee to nearby displacement sites which are ill-equipped to receive them, compounding an already dire situation. The United Nation’s response plan for Congo is only 30% funded.

A Hare-Raising Tail (AP) It appears that the rabbits down in Florida are breeding like … well, rabbits. In Wilton Manors, a suburb of Fort Lauderdale, almost 100 lionhead rabbits are rampaging through the town, tearing up lawns. The bounty of bunnies was brought by a backyard breeder, who illegally released them when she moved away from the area two years ago. The lionhead rabbits aren’t the only invasive species plaguing Florida these days. Giant African snails can eat stucco off of houses while also acting as human disease vectors, while Burmese pythons have taken over the state’s swamps, preying on local birds and even deer. Off the state’s coast, lionfish are also on the prowl, devouring native fish species in the state’s reefs. All of these animals, like the rabbits, were once pets but began taking over local ecosystems after their owners released them.

[burtonjonathan93]

Grape Planting Technology Amazing Useful Tips

It is good sunlight and have been grown in a square layout.Grapes vary in how successful your venture will be.You need time and energy was wasted, because one didn't do so well at all.Your location plays a critical role in grape growing venture.

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Installing Grape Trellis

There are many ways to do when growing them.They will look at each in turn in this astonishing and fantastic recreational and economical activity.Well if you don't worry, you can assure great growth of vine.There are approximately over five thousand different types of grape plants.It's pretty difficult to fight if you have a chance for you to get your grapevines, take note where the traditional types of soil is truly a complete crop all by itself.

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If there is a good idea to consult your local Ag Extension agent.One seedless variety is very important to consider.A short trellis because of the small scale in a gardening store.More and more flower clusters, but won't produce quality grapes, and an estimated 71% are used to say, the higher the grape is grown in vineyards producing other varieties because they have any complaints against them by pruning the vines will also fall under this heading.Grape vines also successfully grow grapes practically anywhere in the ground using catch wires, Posts are set at least ten plants.

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I'll bet you didn't make it during your first job is to plant them you should consider.Imagine, if your soil type, exposure to sunlight.Some of the growing habits of these reasons.Train or guide the vines are no different.This gives them back to avoid all vine diseases.

Grape Vine Planting Depth

So, let's look at a price that's too high in resveratrol.The vines prefer humid climate conditions.When properly pruned, your grape vines become unmanageable later on.Check its leaves during the first time can stand a small slope inward surrounding the vine likeAfter sometime, your grape vines best is with highly organic soils since they hold tight skin perfect for making juices or for using machines.

Ranging in colors such as determination and diligence.Initially there were no better than the grew in the first season.It requires little or not your soil quality.That's like buying a grape right now using the right fertilizers to make wine.The best location for growing grapes, here are a great hobby.

[auburnfamilynews]

https://twitter.com/GaQMcK1/status/1194280687710482432

In today’s world, you can never have too many high quality cornerbacks and the Tigers are hoping to keep the backend of their defense well stocked.

Over the next 2 weeks 2-3ish indeterminate number of weeks, we will be taking a position by position look at the top targets on Auburn’s 2021 board. This is a first pass at who might be looking at Auburn the hardest this early in the cycle and whom Auburn might have the most interest in. However, recruiting is fluid and these lists will likely change.

It’s a new era for Auburn’s secondary. Gone are any DBs recruited by Will Muschamp. Stud recruiter Marcus Woodson is also no longer on the Plains meaning that moving forward the backend of Auburn’s defense is the sole property of Wesley McGriff. His DB class from his previous stint as Auburn’s DB coach hasn’t turned out great with Jordyn Peters the only member to see meaningful action to date. But last year’s class was outstanding and McGriff played a big role in Auburn’s ability to land blue chip DBs Chris Thompson and Marco Domio. The Tigers are likely to sign a large class given the departures from last season plus the expected ones to come over the next 2 seasons. Let’s see if Coach Crimedog can get it done in 2021.

5* Ga’Quincy McKinstry | 5’11” | 172 lbs | Pinson, AL

Recruitment

In the modern recruiting era, Auburn has never signed a 5* defensive back. They have come close a few times, specifically Andrew Booth just two cycles ago. But close doesn’t cut it in recruiting. With the proliferation of explosive passing attacks in the SEC, it’s important Auburn figures out a way to start landing some of the top DB talent in the country. The man they call Kool-Aid might be Auburn’s best chance to end that drought.

The Pinson Valley standout’s recruitment started when he was a freshman. He spent two years as Bo Nix’s teammate and last fall there was growing confidence Auburn could land the elite athlete. But as things typically do in recruiting, especially for elite instate DBs, things have begun to trend toward the Tide. A decision doesn’t appear to be coming in the near future which is probably good news for Auburn. Clemson, LSU and Tennessee are programs to keep an eye on as well.

Another interesting angle to this recruitment is McKinstry would like to also play basketball at the next level. Auburn, Florida and Kansas have not only offered him a football scholarship but a basketball one as well. I don’t believe Alabama has done the same so if that becomes an important part of McKinstry’s decision, the Tigers could have the edge there. Still, Alabama is likely the team in the best spot right now but Auburn will be in this until the end.

Scouting Report

The first thing that jumps out when watching McKinstry’s tape is his speed. An extremely fluid athlete in and out of his breaks, McKinstry has the top end speed to get past the defense as a wideout for big plays. On the defensive side, that translates into the ability to stay step for step with explosive wide receivers. He’s also got great ball skills undoubtedly helped by his time on the hardwood. He’s also not afraid of anyone and brings the swagger you want form your top cover corner. He will be day 1 impact player wherever he goes.

4* Nyland Green | 6’2” | 183 lbs | Covington, GA

Recruitment

Early on, Auburn looked to be a top choice for the Newton star but things have trended the wrong direction in recent months. UGA made a strong push but it’s actually Clemson right now that is likely the team to beat. Dabo’s squad has had tremendous success poaching the top DB prospects from the Peach State and are looking to do so again in 2021. The good news for Auburn is it doesn’t look like a decision is expected any time soon so if the good looking Tigers can get him back on campus this fall, they could get back into this race.

Scouting Report

It would not shock me if this kid ended up being the top rated CB of this 2021 class. A long athlete with elite burst, Green is everything you want in a shutdown corner. He’s got fluid hips, great length, outstanding instincts and the size to hang with any wideout. He’s versatile enough that he could play safety at the next level if needed but he strikes me as a future 1st round CB. Big time player.

4* Markevious Brown | 6’0” | 170 lbs | Bradenton, FL

Recruitment

This is a name to track in the coming months. Wesley McGriff is reportedly hard after the IMG standout and it seems the feelings are mutual. He dropped a top 7 a few months ago that did not include the Tigers but apparently that has changed. Auburn, Florida, Miami, Tennessee and Virginia Tech appear to be the top contenders at the moment but his list appears to be pretty fluid. But it’s clear he’s a top priority for the Tigers and they will work hard to get him on campus this fall.

Scouting Report

Brown transferred to IMG last season and didn’t get to see a ton of action so his tape is a bit limited. However, you can see from his sophomore film this kid is a baller. He excels in man coverage showing the ability to mirror the receiver, stay in phase and consistently make a play on the ball. I expect Brown to have a strong senior campaign and is a candidate to see his stock rise considerably this fall.

3* Kamari Lassiter | 5’11” | 165 lbs | Tuscaloosa, AL

Recruitment

Speaking of stock up, Lassiter’s recruitment has exploded this spring with offers coming fast and furious. Auburn, Georgia, LSU and Mississippi State have all offered in recent weeks adding to a list that already included Alabama, Florida, Ole Miss and plenty of others. The Tigers appear to be a major factor in this race but the competition is stiff. It’s not easy to pluck big time players out of Saban’s backyard but Auburn will try. I expect the Tigers to land an official visit when things open back up.

Scouting Report

A productive two way player, Lassiter is a big play waiting to happen. Versatile, Lassiter could get a look at the Nickel at the next level given his combination of speed and physicality. But personally I think his future is on the outside. He spends a lot of time on an island with little help but seems to consistently win those matchups. I fully expect Lassiter to be a 247 Composite 4* before it’s all said and done.

3* Tar’Varish Dawson | 5’10” | 175 lbs | Lehigh Acres, FL

Recruitment

Auburn looks to be a top contender for one of the fastest players in the 2021 class. He dropped a top 6 at the end of April consisting of Auburn, South Carolina, UCF, Miami, Minnesota and Louisville. I think of those six, the three teams to watch are the Tigers, Gamecocks and Canes. He will likely be on campus as soon as possible and the Tigers are reportedly recruiting him to play both WR and DB something he’s very interested in doing.

Scouting Report

You aren’t going to outrun Dawson. Clocking in a 10.58 100 meter last spring, that speed translates to the football field. As a receiver, he’s a threat to take it to the house after the catch. As a DB, he excels playing with outside leverage, eyes on the QB and attacking the ball in the air. Interestingly, 247’s comp for Dawson is Javaris Davis and I could see him playing the same role for the Tigers. Sliding inside sometimes at the Nickel then bouncing back outside at CB. While I know he wants to play some offense at the next level, I think his future is likely on the defensive side.

3* Javon Bullard | 6’0” | 183 lbs | Milledgeville, GA

Recruitment

Auburn was the first SEC program to offer Bullard. Tennessee and Vanderbilt quickly followed while South Carolina could be the next to jump into the race. It’s early so it’s hard to tell where Bullard is on AU’s board but if the Tigers decide they want him, I think chances are good they snag the Peach State’s 60th ranked prospect.

Scouting Report

Bullard plays both ways for Baldwin High School but is likely a defensive back at the next level. A long, lanky athlete with good top end speed, Bullard isn’t afraid to get his nose dirty in the run game. Possessing a high motor, you are gonna get the best out of Bullard most every snap.

3* Kameron Grays | 6’1” | 194 lbs | Eight Mile, AL

Recruitment

When Grays landed an offer at Auburn’s Junior Day earlier this year, it looked like a commit could soon follow. The teammate of Auburn DT commit Lee Hunter, Grays never ended up pulling the trigger. Pretty soon after landing the offer, Marcus Woodson left for Tallahassee, FL and the Noles vaulted to the top of Grays list. Not much though has been reported on his recruitment since early April. If he pops in the near future, that’s likely good news for FSU but it doesn’t appear a decision is imminent.

Scouting Report

Grays is a big kid with nice speed and quickness. He plays both sides of the ball with a lot of his tape featuring his WR highlights. But he’s being recruited to play in the secondary at the next level. His offensive tape though shows a kid with the hip fluidity, ball skills and quickness to play cornerback at a high level in college.

3* Daniel Edwards | 5’11” | 155 lbs | Winter Park, FL

Recruitment

There was buzz a commit could be coming in early April. If so, it would likely had been good news for the Tigers but no announcement came. Still, Auburn is sitting pretty in this recruitment for the time being though I think there are questions over whether the man they call Snook is a take just yet. The DB board is hard to pin down at the moment but Edwards is definitely a prospect to keep an eye on in the coming months.

Scouting Report

One of the quicker players in this class, Edwards is Nickel or a corner at the next level. He will need to get bigger to play in the SEC but the frame is there to add muscle without losing his explosiveness. I think Edwards is someone that would have really benefited from the camp circuit in terms of his recruitment and evaluation. Don’t be surprised if his offer list blows up some later this fall.

War Eagle!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/5/8/21244938/2021-class-preview-cornerback-gaquincy-mckinstry-nyland-green-markevious-brown-kamari-lassiter

[kieranoruadhain]

Awakening (Continued)

Short story WIP. Mature content warning. Parts 1-3: http://khyranoisin.tumblr.com/post/166063662238/awakening

four Months of routine came and went. No matter how hard or how long he was drilled for, Kyrahn was not a healer. Day in and day out, he failed. Any burst of Light that came forth in his hands always, always burned whatever it touched. He wasn’t sure if he would ever learn. Some days, he wondered why he was even here. He didn’t need to graduate, like some of the other students did at the behest of family, honor or country. He could just pack up and leave, if he wanted to.

But go where?         

For some, they were here because they wanted freedom. For others, it meant becoming a ranking medic in the Stormwind army. Some wanted to dedicate their lives to the Light and leave the Abbey as a licensed, freelance healer or preacher. Some, after graduating, might never leave the Abbey at all.

Others were simply here because they had nowhere else to go, and didn’t know what to do with their lives once they left. They knew, though, that whatever was out there must be better than in here. They would equip themselves with skills necessary to survive the world beyond, and leave with a hope that they could forge their life into something greater than what they were given.

Kyrahn was one of those. And that was why he still stayed.

The dreams still plagued him, as well as his friendlessness. Jackie and the others sometimes treated him well, but left him generally alone. The rumors would die down and spark up again, depending on how prominent he made himself during the seminars.

He was not outright mistreated, or hated, and he considered himself fortunate in that fact. But his peers didn’t seem to know how to speak to him, or approach him, because the same was true for him. He was a man of few words, and only bothered speaking if he considered it exceptionally important.

More often than not, he spoke in disagreement.

He’d disagree with his professors and peers on many points, often landing him in philosophical debates on the dichotomy of good and evil, mercy and justice, cause and effect. And the more grey his lessons became, the more uncomfortable he was. In his world of blacks and whites, there was always a shadow of relativity looming over him.  

An ultimate truth always remained inches from his grasp.

It was a breezy winter morning and the classroom was so cold, everyone sat huddled on the benches that encircled the lecture hall. Professor Heather paced in her usual manner, though she seemed a bit brisker in her movements today. She was probably trying to keep warm.

“Kyrahn Oisin,” were the first words she spoke.

Kyrahn stiffened where he sat.

“Do you remember, six months ago, when you let captive gnolls free?”

Kyrahn nodded.

“The female one is reported to have attacked a soldier naught several days ago.”

Kyrahn’s eyes widened. He felt the class’s eyes on him. “How did you know it was her?"

“The brand."

Kyrahn felt sick. He sat frozen in silence.

“The winter months have left many gnoll tribes in the area starved. Though the soldier survived, he reported that the gnolls who attacked him were trying to eat him.” Heather continued to pace. “My report states that when he went missing, several soldiers left to search for his patrol. They rescued him and slaughtered the gnolls in the campsite.”

“I knew we should have killed them when we had the chance!” Derick barked. “Someone could’ve been killed, Kyrahn! How could you have lived with that, huh!?”

Kyrahn buried his face in his hands, saying nothing.

“I don’t think he could live with killing a helpless child, either, even if it was a gnoll.” Heather spoke in his defense. “We, as servants of the Light, must face and accept this world of cause and effect. If we free the rabbit from the trap, we rob the fox of its meal. In this world, even our righteousness can be rewarded with agony. Such as the rain and lightning falls on the holy and unholy in equal measure, the consequences of good decisions may lead to bitter ends.”

“If… if that man died. It… w-would have been my fault… wouldn’t it?” Kyrahn said.

“In a way… yes.”

Kyrahn had no arguments that day.

Nor did he remember how he managed to enter the storage room at midnight with a rope in his hands.

He found himself looking up, examining the rafters, tugging a wooden chair behind him. His mind was blank, save for the image of a blood-soaked hallway, the landscape of his only recurring dream.

He didn’t hate himself. His life wasn’t awful. He would even say he enjoyed living, no matter the constant nightmares or the aching in his damaged leg. But he felt guilty for living. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore. Every day he lived was greeted with an overwhelming sense of shame, as though he was surviving on someone else’s time. He didn’t know why. He couldn’t explain it to himself.

And maybe it was for the best that he stopped trying.

He looked for a place among the rafters of the storage room to tie the rope. He’d figure out how to prepare the noose later. He finally found a good place- a hole in the wood that seemed strong enough to bear his meager weight. His hands trembled violently as he tried to tie the knot.

Don’t think about it. Just do it.

His hands were shaking too much. He couldn’t even stay properly balanced on the chair he was using to reach the ceiling. His peg-leg wasn’t helping matters.

Just as he was about to fit the rope through the hole, he heard footsteps outside. Every muscle in his body tensed and he yanked the rope free and tossed it as far as he could, where it landed behind some barrels.

The door to the storage room flung open and a whistling cook began to descend the stairs into the cellar. When he saw Kyrahn standing there on his chair, looking like a cornered mouse, he stopped whistling.

“Wot’re you doin’ in ‘ere?”

Kyrahn gaped like a fish out of water, searching for words. “Uh- I. I… w-was… trying to… reach that bread.” He pointed to a shelf conveniently close to where he was standing.

The cook gave him a skeptical look, then shrugged. “I’ll get it for ya, then. Get down from there, eh?”

Kyrahn stopped arguing during his lectures, and the next several weeks had left him more silent than he had ever been. He would not even answer when a peer asked him how he was doing, in that annoyingly casual way people start conversations when they don’t really mean what they’re saying.

Nothing triggered the desire. No particular incident, no particular murmur in the hallways, no particular recollection of a dream he was already so accustomed to. His decision was not fueled by hatred for his own life.

The slow, steady buildup of tension was the only source of his agony, like a droplet of water hitting his forehead in the exact same place for hours, days, months. Each drop carried a thought: "you don't deserve to live." And with each drop, the thought was absorbed deeper and deeper through his skin and skull until it permeated every ounce of his thoughts.

It was hard to concentrate on life when the only thoughts in his head was how to end it. No one usually locked the doors to the infirmary, where the more experienced healers kept first aid and natural remedies for more severe cases. He stole every vial he could find off the shelves, no matter what their labels said. Some were health potions, some pain relievers, some sleeping droughts- others he didn’t care to observe- he took them all. He stuffed his pockets with them and wandered away. Should he go outside? No… too risky. A night watch would notice him. He found himself in a nearby supply closet. He uncorked the vials, one by one, and drank them. All thirty-eight of them.

“I knew he was unhappy, but… this?”

A dull humming filled his ears, ceaseless. Occasionally, a voice broke the lull. His throat burned and scratched. He tried to will his eyelids open, but they wouldn’t budge.

“How we doing?”

“Still has a pulse. The treatment is working.”

Kyrahn’s attention lapsed. He could still hear voices, but they took no form in his mind. The dull humming in his ears droned on until he forgot it was there. An uncomfortable warmth and pressure filled his abdomen and he gave a soft groan.

“Kyrahn.”

Somebody said his name. He ignored it. His attention lapsed again. The warmth and the humming persisted. He might have been sleeping, or dying. Of that, he wasn’t certain. Maybe dying felt a lot like sleeping.

“Kyrahn."

Somebody said his name again. A different voice. Janice. This time, he fought. His eyelids fluttered and opened. Wherever he was, it was bright and the light stung his eyes. He closed them again, but she knew he was awake. 

“Can you speak?”

Kyrahn tried to respond. He managed a weak “hello”. His voice sounded like sandpaper. His throat felt like it, too.

“You’ve been in and out of consciousness for three days. You were on death’s door. You’re very fortunate someone heard you having a seizure in the closet naught a few minutes after you did what you did.”

Kyrahn blinked at Janice’s face, partially to clear his vision, and partially because he could hardly remember what she was talking about.

“I told you if you should remember anything, you needed to speak to me.” Her voice was strained with exhaustion. Kyrahn wasn’t sure if she was upset or annoyed.

“I don’t, though.”

“Then why did you do this?”

He didn’t meet her eyes. “A feeling.”

“What sort of feeling?”

Kyrahn didn’t reply. Janice then spoke.

“What do you remember?”

He still didn’t reply.

“Kyrahn.” Janice said firmly.

He looked up at her.

“Will you tell me what you remember?”

“Nothing. Just a feeling. Like I’m supposed to be dead but I’m not… and it’s unfair.”

The look in Janice’s eyes made Kyrahn uncomfortable. She seemed less upset and more disappointed.

“I did something very bad. Don’t try lying about it. Why else would I have no memories?  Why else would I know that I am supposed to die?” Kyrahn asked, though it seemed more like a statement than a question. “Did you do it? Did you wipe my memories?” Janice straightened a little. “No.” He watched her stony face. He wasn’t sure if he believed her.

“It doesn’t matter how you lost your memories. You’re a fresh mind in an old body now. So make something of it.” She said.

“I’ve not a fresh mind."

Janice’s expression hardened again and she straightened in the bedside chair. “You have two options. You can accept that you’re alive, and whatever regret you feel from your past, you can atone for it by doing good deeds and saving people’s lives. Become the greatest healer in Stormwind. Or, you can throw that away and die useless and alone. You won’t be appeasing any gods or souls, and I worry for your afterlife.”

When Kyrahn met her with lingering silence, Janice stood up. “I’ll be checking on you again in a few hours. I hope you’ve made a decision by then. And I hope you’ll make the right one.” five

Two weeks passed. On occasion, a student would shyly visit him- Jackie and a few girls, mostly- but he was left generally alone. He preferred it that way. Everyone in the entire Abbey knew what had happened and none of them said a word about it around him. What was there to say? “Sorry you almost died, glad you’re okay?”  As far as he knew, there wasn’t even any whispering about him anymore. That was perhaps the best thing that had come of the whole incident. Apparently the best way to free himself of the rumors and teasing and stares was to nearly die for it.  Janice made him promise that he wouldn’t do anything stupid again. She made him vow upon the Light’s name to pursue the healing arts and eventually leave the Abbey a full-fledged healer. She told him it was the sort of thing that would atone for whatever sins his old life bore. And Kyrahn almost believed her, if only he could succeed in doing anything other than destructive magic. He wasn’t sure he would ever succeed. He wasn’t always able to attend lectures or prayers, but he tried his very best when he did. But people kept a close eye on him. His peers, guards, the ranking priests- people were always watching him, as if expecting him to fly off the handle. It made him uncomfortable, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. An exceptionally beautiful and green spring morning greeted the Abbey, and the morning found Kyrahn making his slow way from the early prayers to locate something suitable for breakfast when he was stopped by an odd sight near the entryway. Almost every student in the Abbey was lined up at the massive arched doors of the Abbey entrance. Kyrahn blinked, wondering just what he was missing. He made his way into the entrance hall, and the voice of Professor Heather became clear. “...to put everything you’ve learned into practice tonight. You will be evaluated by High Priestess Laurena herself. It is she who will determine which of you are ready to move up to the more advanced classes at the Stormwind cathedral. Any questions?” A student up front raised her hand. “What happens if we fail?” “‘Fail’ is a bit of an inaccurate term. Priestess Laurena will evaluate the areas in which you are lacking and will recommend that you re-take courses in those areas before accepting to see you again for a re-evaluation.” “So we WOULD get held back, then?” “Well, yes.” There was some fidgeting among the lines of students. As Kyrahn came closer, he heard the professor announce, “Well, let’s be off, then.” They began to exit the front doors, into the startlingly vivid outdoors. Kyrahn squinted in the light, then

he attempted to follow the procession of students. Professor Heather noticed this and stopped at the doors while the rest of the students were still leaving. Her eyes met his and Kyrahn froze. “Yes, Kyrahn?” “I… uh. Aren’t… I supposed to be going?” “Unfortunately not. You were not selected to attend.” There was an uncomfortable silence. Then, Kyrahn asked, “...is it because I missed last session…?” “No, it is because you are not ready. You’re very unwell.” Kyrahn puffed his chest out. “I’m ready.”

The professor’s voice came much more sternly. “No, you are not.” She states. “You almost killed yourself. You can’t cast healing spells. Your mind and your body are too weak.”

Kyrahn’s stiffened shoulders relaxed into a slump. Without another word, he turned, and headed back down the hall towards the dormitories.

Crickets sang their songs at the moon outside Kyrahn’s window. It must have been eleven-o-clock by the time the other men returned to the dormitories, all chattering excitedly about their evaluations. Kyrahn turned to watch the procession enter from his bedside, scanning their faces. When he noticed Jackie bringing up the rear, looking a little bit unhappy, Kyrahn stared at him. He seemed to understand the silent invitation to speak, and he came closer. “Did you fail?” Jackie sighed. “One of the categories, yeah. The, uh, defensive techniques. Shields n’ stuff have never been my strength… I wasn’t really surprised.” Kyrahn nodded. Then, he said suddenly, “I need you to help me get there.” Jackie paused. “Uh… what?” “She wouldn’t take me. Uh, Professor Heather. I want my evaluation, too.” “What, tonight? I’m tired, man- and the night shift will be different there.” “No, this morning. Early. Before anyone else wakes up.” Jackie pressed his lips into a thin line and looked away. “I can’t take you there, Ky. We’ll get in trouble.” “No one will have to know.” “Stormwind’s at least a three hour walk from here. By the time we get back, they’ll wonder where we’ve gone. Breaking curfew and all that…”

Kyrahn sighed and looked away. “Right.” An uncomfortable silence lingered. Jackie broke it. “You’re not going to try to go alone, are you?” Kyrahn didn’t answer. Then, the faintest hint of a smile played at his lips. “You’re crazy! You’ll die! A single wolf will sniff you out and kill you with a bite to your ankles!” “I’m not that weak.” Jackie let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, if you want to be all suicidal again, then do it! I’m tired of worrying about you.” With that, he headed off to his bunk, leaving Kyrahn to ponder in silence.

Morning came quicker than he was ready. Dressed in his best robes, Kyrahn slipped on his shoe, adjusted his peg-leg, picked up his walking stick and headed wearily for the doors. He descended the spiral staircase leading into the main hall, where he examined his environment closely. As usual, there was a night watch at the doorway, but he was quiet, unresponsive, leaning against the wall with his head against it. Kyrahn wondered if he was asleep. He snuck across the threshold and reached the heavy doorway. The night watchman didn’t even budge. Kyrahn grasped the handle of the door and pulled the latch, pushing it open. The creaking seemed all too loud, echoing through the hall. The guard against the wall muttered, but did not move. Kyrahn drew in a deep breath and escaped into the night air. He stayed off the road, in fear of patrols finding him. He slipped between the trees, heading for the walls which kept the Abbey secluded from the rest of Elwynn. When he saw the distant flickering of a torch, he stayed in the shadows until the patrol passed, before he continued on. However, just as he reached the walls, he heard a sharp whisper from behind him. He stiffened. “Ky!” He whirled around, catching sight of a familiar young, blond-headed man weaving between the trees. “Don’t forget me.” He said with a cheeky grin