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#sorry I’m gonna be negative here
wurm-food · 2 years
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think I’m going to go bury myself in some dirt or something. it’s better than being belittled at my job I don’t give a shit about. idk
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deepseawave · 2 months
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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tvrningout · 10 months
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small heads up that i might be scarce for the next few days! i’m really tired and stressed bc of finals and work, and it’s affecting my mood which in turn affects how i feel here. i’m much too sensitive these last few days, so i’m not gonna make being here a priority for a little while.
sorry about this and thank you for your patience 💜 and pls!! take care of yourselves!! this time of year is hard on a lot of people, so remember that it’s okay if you need to step back and rest 💜
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transboykirito · 2 months
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do you guys know that there was a period in november through march that i had to give my friend my tumblr password so she could clear out my inbox on this blog before i checked it? because the hate was that bad that my friends were terrified it would push me over the edge? and it did, remember, it very much did.
the things she had to read were so terrible that she had anxiety attacks just thinking about having to read them, so she said she needed to stop and i completely understood (i’ve been reading it unfiltered for years now, i didn’t expect she’d push through for as long as she did)
i’ve had people create entire new accounts to harass me without needing to rely on the anonymous ask feature. i’ve been harassed on tumblr, instagram, twitter and fucking pornhub. people have edited my face and body into rape and murder scenes. multiple people i’m friends with have received hate to the point of leaving the fandom or leaving tumblr altogether, just for being friends with me. someone messaged my step-brother (who i have never shared images of, or even his name, and we don’t share a last name) on facebook to tell him they hoped i was dead
i’ve pulled back a lot since last year because i’m terrified to give these people ammunition. i’ve stopped writing almost entirely because i’m scared of including anything vaguely personal or meaningful to myself for fear of it being attacked in this vile, hateful way. i’ve never in my life seen someone harassed to this extent online before. so just… if you ever wonder why i don’t post like i used to or write fics like i used to (and why so many fics are now lying dormant on my ao3), that’s why. and i hate disappointing people, i miss the praise and feedback and validation i received from those fics, i miss sharing things that made people happy or feel seen. but the hate is at a level that has decimated that positivity for me, and it’s sunk my productivity, creativity and the joy of creating out of it entirely.
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pumpking64 · 1 year
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#Jesus fucking Christ#why do some people just. not see the mess they’re making and acknowledge that it’s their responsibility to clean up after themselves??#like. you throw your shoes in the entrance exactly where people walk. you let shared loafers stand outside for several hours#you cook the most simple dinner that one time you cook (mind you the other people have equal shares of making food)#and yet you don’t even manage to clean up after neither the cooking NOR taking the food off the table into the fridge so it doesn’t turn bad#you keep on taking the most easy solution that fits you the best without thinking about others. in a space where we all are exhausted#and I’m so done with it for now tbh. how lazy to not care about the bare necessities for others. how rude to admit to it#AND on top of this. you’ll tell stuff about your country that’s *objectively horrifying* and then add on to that that you love your country#it’s just. so many things. are so so so much of what I’d avoid in a person. a few things is fine. no one’s perfect. but damn there’s a limit#SORRY to anyone who’s read this far but I just. had to get it out#this guy is the one I’m working the closest with these two and a half weeks. hes still a kid kind of. I’m not gonna be mean to him#but damn. my patience. is being tested#AHHH I might delete this tbh. I don’t like showing this side of myself. I don’t want to spread this kind of negativity#I’m just so very frustrated. how a human person can come to this place and be here for SO LONG already#and still not have learnt the basics of living and working together#own post#oh. and all the triggering of intrusive thoughts is not helping your case buddy#(which you can’t really know about so it’s kinda fair but also it’s for bad hygiene stuff mostly and that’s. I mean…..)
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leonsliga · 2 years
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Look, I just…don’t like kids. Or maybe “don’t like” is the wrong phrasing. I feel uncomfortable around them. See, you’re allowed to like them if you want. There’s nothing wrong with that! In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s the “normal” thing to feel. I was just responsible for kids from a very young age and don’t want any of my own as a result. Why would I want to be a parent when I’ve spent most of my life being a (very poor) stand-in for other kids’ parents who didn’t want to take care of their own? Plus I just don’t think I could be emotionally available to kids the way they need and deserve. There’s more to this thought (and more reasons why I don’t want/feel uncomfortable around kids than this) but I just really needed to get this off my chest, since this rb/block kind of hurt. I thought I was past getting upset over things that happen on the internet, but this cut deep for some reason.
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seventh-district · 6 months
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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maiteo · 1 year
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no negative or hating ass loser!! can ever ever ever make me feel bad about my team and what they accomplished this season!!!
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ranger-kellyn · 2 months
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ugh god I love getting to work and immediately dealing with passive-aggressive bullshit
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myspacebrat · 8 months
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Game over
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best friend gamer boy e.m.
blurb request: congrats on 5k my angel 🥺 you deserve it. 🍒 but i was hoping to request a little blurbie with best friend gamer eddie (your gamer eddie series was so good I love him) and we’re just tired of him playing his game while we’re over so we find a way to distract him 🤭 (or whatever else your sexy brain comes up with tbh hehe) by @reidsbtch
authors note: thank you so so much baby girl, I love you and hope you like this smutty little treat <3
picture credit: @eddiemunsons-missingnipple
18+ mdni contains smut
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“C’mon Ed’s, I came over to hang out, not watch you play your dumb games.” You huff out as you cross your arms over your chest in irritation.
“I said one more round!” Eddie shouts as he gets his ass kicked in some fantasy game you couldn’t bother remembering the name of.
“You said one more round, five rounds ago!” You growl as your head falls back against the couch.
“Jesus, would you shut up and let me concentrate.” Your best friend grumbles as his spread legs part even further, causing your eyes to fall on his lap and the very prominent imprint of his dick that could be seen through the blue Jean fabric.
the extent of ever seeing Eddie’s little friend okay scratch that big friend from what you could tell, was the few times you swam in lovers lake together and he wore his plaid boxers that had a big enough hole to fit your entire hand into. It had poked out a few times and to be honest, well you’ll give him the benefit of the doubt because it was extremely cold that day. But, sitting here and looking at his dick print has you reevaluating everything you have assumed about your best friend’s junk thus far.
“You really want me to shut up?” You ask with husky flirtation, a smirk taking over your face as an idea hits you. It could only go one of two ways, either eddie would tell you to get the fuck off of him or he’ll welcome it, tell you to keep going, don’t stop. The possibility of hearing those words leave your best friend’s lips outweighed the negative.
“Mhm, I need you real quiet right now, princess. See I’m trying to kills those fuckin’ gu— w-what are you doing?” He stammers, taking his eyes off the screen for the first time since you walked into his trailer. You had moved quick, making yourself comfortable between his spread legs.
Your knees dig into the rough carpet as you look up at him, his big glossy eyes as wide as saucers.
“Well what does it look like I’m doing, silly? If you need me to be quiet, I’m gonna need something to fill my mouth up with.” You send him a sweet smile before rubbing your face over the imprint in his jeans.
“Hol- uh, um, fuck. You wanna um, put my dick in your mouth? Is—is that what you’re asking me right now?” He chokes on his words as his game awaits, long forgotten as the words “game over” flash across the screen.
“Yes, eddie I’m asking you to put my mouth to good use.” You breathe through your nose as your impatience grows, while you continue to rub your face on his bulge, feeling it twitch with want underneath you.
“Okay, I’m sorry I have to just ask one more time. You wanna suck my dick?” He asks again in bewilderment, his eyebrows furrow as if he’s holding back from doing exactly what he really wants, he has to be sure that this isn’t some fucked up joke.
“If you don’t pull your cock out in five seconds, I’m leaving.” You say as a stoic look falls onto your face, and you back away from his center, putting way too much space between you both for Eddie’s liking.
“Okay, okay. Fuck, I’m going.” He huffs with half exasperation and half excitement.
“There’s a good boy.” You purr, moving your face back towards his dick. You begin licking his growing cock through the fabric, getting it nice and wet before spitting on it, your saliva darkening his jeans from light to dark blue as you begin to spread the wetness around in circles with your middle finger, over what you assume to be his tip.
Eddie shudders as he pulls his zipper down, the way you’re practically sucking him through his jeans feels fucking phenomenal already, and the good boy has him feeling so needy.
He finally wrestles with his jeans and boxers, quickly thrusting his hips up once you’ve moved away, allowing him to pull them down. He lets his full balls plop out over the fabric. His hard cock is now exposed to the open air of his trailer and his balls sit there all big, mouth watering and tempting as hell.
“Oh my god!” You exclaim with wide eyes, they cross as you take in the way it stands straight up, his pink tip glistening while a large purple vein runs along his shaft. You wanna follow it with the tip of your tongue, so you do.
“Hnng, oh fuck!” Eddie groans, already feeling too close to the edge.
“You’re so big ed’s.” You say as you stroke his ego and his cock at the same time.
“Am I?” He asks, but there’s no real question behind it.
You take the tip of his cock in your mouth, sucking off all the precum and moaning when it coats your tongue.
You work him down inch by inch, eventually reaching your throat but to Eddie’s surprise you don’t gag, not one bit and he just knows he’s in for a wild ride.
“Go ahead eddie, play your game while my mouths occupied. Ya’ know, so you can concentrate?” You giggle deviously, knowing there’s no way in hell he’ll be able to pay attention to anything other than you.
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enwoso · 3 months
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hey, could you try write something platonic for arsenal x reader with anger issues and the team getting the brunt of it? maybe like kim/leah having to deal with them or learn to calm them down? something along those lines idrk hahahah
NOT YOU — arsenal wfc x reader
this went in a different direction then what i had originally planned. sorry if some sorts don’t make sense i wrote this while i was half asleep. but enjoy x
warnings: talks of an absent father, few swear words
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masterlist
the team was worried about. more specifically kim and leah were worried about you. they had never seen you act the way you had in the past. usually you were always laughing and joking around with kyra, pulling pranks and overall just being a pest.
but something had switched, little things were making you snap more quicker than usual, you were making harsh tackles on your own teammates as well as making rude remarks to anyone who tried to talk to you which wasn't totally out of the normal but your actions were speaking louder than your words at the moment.
the team knew you had a short fuse but it had never been this bad before. something had lit your fuse.
the girls had tried everything to try and figure out what had happened but nothing seemed to work but by the day, your anger was starting to build and leah and kim were worried it was about to spill over and were worried for whoever was on the receiving line for when that actually happened.
"we need to try and figure out what is wrong with y/n, she's gonna seriously hurt someone otherwise" kim said as she walked back from the training fields with leah by her side, who immediately agreed with the scot.
a hushed talk of the other girls in front on the two talking about your negative attitude. the two giving each other a look knowing the longer your temper and bad mood continued the more it was going to affect the team.
you were walking behind everyone else, by yourself letting your thoughts override as you walked along the gravelled path of colney. your boots hanging from your hand as the wind hit your bare legs.
you were last to walk into the locker room to grab your bag as well as being one of the last to leave. checking your phone to look at the time but being met with several messages from your dad.
rolling your eyes at them as your scowl deepening as you didn’t even bother to read any of them knowing it whatever he had written but be a whole load of waffle, as the man couldn’t tell the truth if smacked him in the face and said ‘i’m here!’
you and your dad had a complicated relationship, actually scratch that, that was putting it in nice terms. to you he was a deadbeat dad, or you could go as far as saying a sad excuse for a father.
chucking your shoes on and tying the laces when you felt a showed stand over you, noticing the shoes you knew who it was before you even looked up.
“y/n, can we have a chat?” kim asked calmly, as you looked at her not saying anything instead nodding for her to continue. knowing that this chat had been coming as you’d noticed the looks and chats she’d been having with leah and a few of the others girls — knowing that it would most likely be about you.
“you don’t have to tell me but i can tell your not yourself y/n and we’re all here for you and we just want to help you if we can but- your behaviour is starting to affect the team” she began as you just sat on the bench not showing the scot any emotion. kim was walking on egg shells as she spoke, you being able to sense her trying to pick her words carefully.
“you going to seriously injure someone if you carry on lashing out at people. so if there anything we can help with?” kim spoke in the same spoke tone, you leg bouncing up and down your head was a mess and the last thing you wanted was to have someone pity you.
you didn’t like pity.
you shook your head, “nope i’m all good!” packing your bag up and slinging it on your shoulder.
“are you sure- cause we-“
“kim! i said i’m good! just leave it at that! leave me fucking be!” you spat storming out the room. the door slamming as you walked down the corridor. regret and guilt filling your body with each step, but you were sick of people asking you if you were okay, babying you.
why couldn’t they all just take the hint when you said you were fine?
“y/n.” her voice echoed along the corridor, making you freeze. “c’mere” leah spoke in a stern tone, as you turned around half of the blondes body poking out of one of the meeting rooms.
dragging your feet to where she was, taking in a big breath as you walked into the empty room. taking a seat in one of the chairs as leah turned on her heel the door clicking shut as she stood tall in front of you her arms folded across her chest, almost intimidating you.
“what’s going on? this isn’t the y/n i know.” leah said in the same tone she’d spoken to you in just a few minutes ago. you stayed silent, a part of you scared you may lash out at the blonde too.
leah knew you best out of anyone on the team, she was the one you trusted most out of the team even if she was several years younger than you. she was the one that took you under her wing when you first started training with the first team.
with that though meant the blonde could read you like a book. you couldn’t lie to her like you easily could to the others as she would know the minute you opened your mouth.
“maybe this is the new y/n” you spoke in a hushed tone, shrugging your shoulders as leah raised her eyebrows confused at your words.
“no. no, this isn’t you. has something happened with your mum?” she asked, as she watched your body language closely as that was the closest she was getting to you actually giving the blonde some clues as to what had happened.
your shoulders tense up a little more. leah knew about your close relationship with your mum how she was your number one supporter, the england captain having quite a good relationship with her, herself.
you shook your head, “no, my mums fine” you paused before continuing.
"my dads’ been back in contact." you mumbled as a sigh of defeat come from you. the room filling with silence as leah came and sat down next to you putting her arm around you not saying anything yet as she knew you hadn't finished what you wanted to say yet.
"begging to be back in my life, that he's so proud that i'm his daughter, that he misses me blah blah blah, coming back into my life once again when it’s convenient for him." the bitterness was obvious in your tone of voice as you spoke, it told the whole story for itself.
leah knew about the your history with your father, how he had treat you and your mother when you were little before leaving your mum to carry on your upbringing as a single parent when you were just four.
but then every few years he would pop back up into your life, wanting and begging to be apart of it. that he had changed and wasn’t the same man he was when you were five.
but you had learned the hard way, that people like him. they don’t change.
so the first couple of times when he would spring back up when you were younger, he would promise you the world. that he would promise take you out for the day and spoil you with anything and everything you want claiming it as his way of making up for lost time but it would always end the same way.
you sitting on the bottom step of your stairs, hair all nicely done, dressed in an outfit you would spent hours figuring out what to wear. you would sit there for hours, the sound of the clock ticking away. all for him to just not turn up and then make a lame excuse up as you cried in your mums arms.
so the last time you saw him before the past week, was when you were 15 just after making it into your first youth camp with england as well as joining the arsenal academy, your dad had told you that he had met someone in america and that he was moving there.
a small part of you was a little hurt but the majority of you was happy as sad as it sounds but he was never really a dad to you.
“i thought he was living in america?” leah asked as you hummed, a mock laugh coming over you “me too, until he showed up at my door at 6 in the morning!”
“thinking he was going to just have a place to stay at mine as if he didn’t just leave for 5 years no messages, no calls. then when i said no he started trying to manipulate me, saying how im such a bad daughter-“ you breathed out feeling leah squeeze your shoulders, her hand rubbing up and down your arms for comfort.
“have you spoken to your mum about this? does she know he’s back in london?” leah asked quietly as you shook your head. “no, she doesn’t need that stress right now.”
“i don’t know what to do le, everytime i go home he’s there. i don’t even fuckjng know how he got my address.” your voice cracked, all the emotions you’d been holding in for the past week finding flooding over.
you were conflicted, cause whilst you had spent so many years hating your father for never being there or if he was it was only when it suited him and not when you really needed him. you wanted to believe he’d changed but his actions spoke louder and then his words.
but then again he was your dad, where you got your blood from but that was it, you didn’t really know him at all and he didn’t really know you.
you both only really knowing of each other.
“it’s okay, y/n we’ll figure it out together i promise.”
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actuallyjustabiscuit · 5 months
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I’ve been dissecting Ragatha’s character with surgical tools because I am not the least bit normal about this damn doll, and something that I’ve gathered upon rewatch is how much responsibility Ragatha has been taking for Pomni’s first day. Prepare for another character analysis about everyone’s favorite confirmed girl failure
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Useless Lesbian jokes aside, it’s so interesting to me how much Ragatha cares about Pomni liking her. To the point where she believes Pomni’s terrible awful no good very bad first day has some relevance to how she thinks Pomni thinks of her.
At first I thought this was just the result of her people pleasing tendencies that needs everyone to like her for her to have any degree of self worth (no I’m not projecting, shut up), but she doesn’t seem to be this pushy about getting along with anyone else.
Another possible reason for this behavior was that she just wants to make the newcomer feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible to lessen the blow of being trapped, and she’s doing such a bad job of it that it’s making her think less of herself for failing. But here she’s specifically talking about the “horrible experience” of having to deal with Kaufmo’s abstraction.
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Here Ragatha is literally writhing in pain from glitching after getting her ass handed to her by Kaufmo and she briefly stops Pomni from leaving to get the help she needs to apologize to her about having a bad first day.
Honestly, Pomni’s awkward response to this was hella fitting.
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Like, Jesus Christ, Ragatha. Priorities girl.
When I first watched this, I thought her little apology fell under the same category as someone apologizing for hearing bad news, (y’know like a “I’m sorry your dog died” kinda thing) said in a way to express sympathy over a bad situation. But in episode 2, it really feels like she actually blames herself for what happened.
and I think I know why.
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It was Ragatha’s idea to go see Kaufmo in the first place and introduce Pomni to him. We know that she honestly believes that participating in the adventures are essential to persevering a person’s sanity. And yet she didn’t suggest to play along with the game Caine left for them. Instead, she thought it would be nice to check up on a friend who was suspiciously absent. And was, according to what Kinger told them before they left, slipping off the deep end.
I know hindsight is 20/20, but these should have been major red flags for her that Kaufmo may not have been alright and they should’ve all probably stayed away. And I think she realized that too late, which is what might’ve led to that awkward apology to Pomni in the hallway.
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Kinger is right to reassure Ragatha that Pomni doesn’t blame her for what happened (which is why she thought Ragatha was being weird for apologizing in the first place), but I imagine Ragatha is the type of person who can’t help but dwell on the “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve”s of life. So it makes sense that she would continue to take things personally. And I bet it got even worse after
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…yeah. That.
Of course, I don’t think Ragatha could’ve known that was gonna be the outcome. But she was very wary when Pomni suggested it, loudly wondering if that was even “allowed”. But she went along with it cuz it made Pomni happy.
Whelp.
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Yeah this woman’s self esteem so about to go into the negatives. Which is why I’m really hoping for a good heart-to-heart between these two. Cuz they both really need it. Ragatha especially.
I think it would really help her to know Pomni wouldn’t want her to feel like less than nothing.
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rubiehart · 8 months
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can you write something where reader and jj had an argument and they do something apart from each other for a little while because they both know they are just tired and need some alone time but then jj starts missing reader even if it has been only an hour or so, and he starts annoying the reader because its his way of apologizing and saying sorry and they make up. (If you don’t understand anything I’m saying you can just ignore it hahah)
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you’d just gotten out of the shower, washing off all the negativity from the day you’d had, let’s just say there was a lot to get rid off. you and jj had been arguing about little things for the past few days, and you decided you needed some time to cool off, in the midst of another little squabble you broke and stormed out of the chateau, leaving jj there and saying nothing else to him, and looking at your notification centre he seemed he didn’t even think to send you a text.
you just huffed, deep down hoping he’d made the decision to ask if you were okay, even though you told him not to speak to you until you both had time to cool off, placing your phone on your nightstand you walked over to your dresser to start your skincare routine, pressing play on your speaker and letting some music fill the space in your mind that was being consumed by jj. you’d just finished rubbing in your serum when you heard a tap at your window, you decided or ignore it until another tap came, then another, then another five seconds later. you huffed and slammed the moisturise down and walking over to your window, throwing your thin curtains to the side and looking down.
a mop of blonde hair barely being lit by the dimming porch light, his toothy grin smiling up at you making all the anger you’d felt melt away, like he always did to you, not letting that show on your face though, you weren’t gonna break that easily, you flung your window open and spoke down to his dark shadow “what are you doing here?” you huffed. he just shrugged, “just wanted to come see my girl…” he replied lowly, clearly trying to conceal his grin. you rolled your eyes and closed your window.
jj hung his head in defeat, thinking you were mad, before the front door flung open and you came running out in your skimpy little pyjamas making him raise his eyebrows, which made you return the look, more disapprovingly than his. “eyes are up here.” you joked, throwing yourself into his arms and hugging him tight. he just smiled and looked you in your eyes “i’m sorry about earlier baby.” you just nodded, keeping eye contact with him silently agreeing. “i’m sorry too.” you grinned he just replied by grabbing your face and placing a sloppy kiss to your lips making you smile and take his hand, guiding him back towards the porch, making him grin and follow blindly behind you.
you gestured to the porch light and looked at him “need you to change the bulb in that for me.” you grinned “starting to think you’re just using me for my handyman skills baby.” he jokes, pulling you into him with an arm around your waist, making you lean into his shoulder with a cheeky grin and shrugging sarcastically “hm, maybe.”
774 notes · View notes
successfulgoddess333 · 5 months
Text
Why the Void State is so easy?
When bloggers say the void is easy
They’re not lying
Here’s why
Every time you fall asleep you lose awareness of the 3D
During this time
Everything around you does not exist because you are in your 4D
Which is why entering the void is easy
You’re doing EXACTLY what you do when you fall asleep
You just lose awareness of the 3D!!!
Only difference is now
You’re doing it on purpose
You’re just becoming aware that you are pure consciousness
There are lots of moments in life where we are no longer aware of focusing on the 3D
When we zone out in class
Daydreaming about our crush
Thinking what we’re gonna do when we get home from school or whatever
During these moments we do not focus on the 3D
And it feels good
To daydream
About our desires if about our favorite person or food of whatever
Because in that particular situation you are just thinking of something that makes you feel good
You’ve ever daydreamed so hard you can physically feel what you’re imagining? It takes you away from your reality
Which is why people snap their fingers at you to snap you back into “reality”
But What is reality?
Reality to me
Is whatever you assume
Whatever you want
If you’re sitting in class hungry
But you’re daydreaming about a juicy cheeseburger
I mean think about it
It’s got the perfect amount of cheese
Lettuce tomato onions the meat is cooked to your desire crispy or soft buns
(Damn I’m getting hungry)
Be honest
You just went
“Mmm” didn’t you?
Because when you daydream
It results in feelings cuz our body it reacting to whatever we’re thinking about causing emotions
Emotions play a key part in our self confidence
If you think negatively you’ll feel bad about yourself
Think positive thoughts and you’ll feel good
It’s this easy because you’re simply giving your positive thoughts a label and by labeling them you’re giving them importance
So when it comes to the void state
Reality Shifting manifesting Lucid Dreaming etc whatever
Feel
The key is to FEEL
Your thoughts
Feel your desires as you visualize them
Many people label things and give it importance
By saying you “failed” to enter the void of to shift
You’re giving it power and importance
STOP DOING THAT ✋
Because the only powerful thing here is you
There’s nothing in this world you can’t have Sugar
If you want it a you it is yours
Like
It’s yours
Failure in my opinion IS an option if you assume you’ll fail
Then you will
Don’t make this an option for yourself
“I’m gonna TRY to enter the void tonight”
Yeah bitch that’s exactly what you always do
You TRY
You gave that word importance
By doing so
You’re only stuck thinking and feeling
That all you are able to do is TRY
No you are GOING TO
There’s no trying there’s doing
When we call ourselves a procrastinator or lazy we give that word importance
By giving it that label
We’re making it harder for us to change our ways
When we say we are depressed
We’re giving it power
STOP PUTTING LABELS ON SHIT THAT DOESN’T EVEN RESONATE WITH YOU
So when meditating for the void
Your desires are that cheeseburger(sorry for any vegans here)
Thoughts create feelings
When we think about something bad
Like
“Omg what if this what if that?”
Etc
You’re going to start panicking
Mental disorders, intrusive thoughts are JUST like this
Coming from someone who used to deal with countless mental issues
I’ve been knowing this
So think about it the longer we let in unwanted thoughts we go crazy obsessing over them to the point where we start hearing or seeing things because our minds told us so
This is what created delusion fear
And something as simple as a thought could cause you to feel very negative thing as if it were real
If you think about something negative and it creates negative feelings and energy
Not only did you give it power but you’re letting it consume your energy
Why?
If you can think negatively
You can think positively
Like I said before
It’s YOUR brain
Why are you fighting it?
You’re fighting yourself OVER yourself and you’re still losing??? Huh
Babe how you losing a war that YOU started??
And why are you letting fuck ass thoughts that don’t resonate with you win?
If it doesn’t resonate with your soul it’s not meant for you and if it’s not meant for you then it will never be true
Because thoughts are thoughts
They’re the results of whatever you spend our time obsessing over
If you’re always talking about your crush
You’re gonna think about them 24/7 right?
Stop thinking
Start feeling
It’s ok to daydream
But don’t constantly think and obsess over your desires
Because of f you already had your desired bf or your desired face you wouldn’t obsess over it
LIVE IN THE END
This is your movie
If you you can skip to the best part and just stay there
Life is a movie
Who cares if nobody comes to watch and support
Who cares if it’s not interesting for some people
It only has to make sense for you
It only has to make you happy
The 3D is just here
The 4D is the REAL reality
In the 4D you are everything you wanna be
In the 3D you are not
Why?
Well bitch you’re not connecting with your 4D self
Because your 4D self
Is YOU
The 3D is dead
3D you exists because of her assumptions
You might think this is clicking
But the 4D you gets it
The 3D you does not
She needs to disconnect from HER reality
In order to be in tune with her 4D reality
So she can live in her real true reality
You need to connect with your 4D
The 3D is the cover of a book
It can be changed if you(the author) doesn’t like it
But the 4D is the inside of the book once it’s been published
You’re the author of your own life
Don’t hand someone else the pen
Create the story(reality) that YOU want to see and live in
Add new characters
Create plot twists
Because the best thing about being the author of your own life
Is nobody gets to tell you how to write your story
If you don’t like how you’re living
Turn the page💗💗
520 notes · View notes
whore-era · 2 years
Text
infatuation - part 1
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☁︎ delinquent!ellie williams x preppyfem!reader, enemies to lovers trope ☁︎ smut, angst, tiny bit of fluff ☁︎ summary: don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding your girlfriend.  ☁︎ warnings: 18+ only. kissing, fingering & oral (r!recieving), masturbation, mentions of weed and smoking weed, mentions relationships w/ men, feelings, kinda mean ellie but then shes nice again, arguing and yelling kinda (let me know if i miss any more necessary warnings ty baes) ☁︎ a/n: i wrote this in like one day. hope u all enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it! ya nasties ;) ☁︎ word count: 4,347 ☁︎ 1/2 - part 2
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you swore to yourself you’d never let yourself get involved with the university’s infamous delinquent— ellie williams. but you should’ve known that’d be hard to avoid, knowing she was just in reach as your roommate’s best friend. 
ellie was always, and i mean always, there in your dorm. either chilling with dina, talking with dina, or, much to your disliking, smoking with dina. 
ever since you ran into her on the first day of dorm move-in, she was constantly there, bickering with you, poking at you, and judging you for every little thing you did. 
ellie had this image of you; an image of this perfect, high maintenance, always put-together, prissy, goody-two-shoes. it was far from the truth, well, kind of. 
you did pride yourself on being one of the smartest girls on campus, and being very active in numerous extracurriculars at school. you were in the student body, the recycling club, the campus book club, the health club, the cooking club— you were just in a lot of clubs. 
but it would be an understatement to say that ellie williams is everything opposite of you. she was on the other side of the spectrum you were on. 
ellie williams was aggressive, a smartass, foulmouthed, risky, and usually up to trouble. always going to the dean’s office for a fight she probably started. the only reason why she hadn’t been kicked out from campus was because her stepdad is the dean's brother. don’t get yourself wrong, she was brilliant being an engineering major. but she was always doing something she wasn’t supposed to as if it fueled her drive.
you unlocked the door to your dorm, greeted with a fog of smoke. hacking out a cough, you switch on the lights, “dina!! what’d i tell you?” you lecture, stomping over towards the window to open it, “if you’re gonna smoke in here, at least open the window!”
“sorry, roomie,” dina coughed out, “we were just hotboxing.” 
you turned towards the pair, criss-crossed on dina’s bed, and furrow your brows, “what? hotboxing?” 
“yea, you know, smoking weed ’til the room fills up with smoke, so the high is more enhanced.” dina explained, you tilted your head to the side, still not fully comprehending whatever hotboxing was. 
the brunette girl leaned against the wall, giving you a smirk. “c’mon, dee. don’t waste your breath explaining,” ellie retorted, “i’m sure lil miss perfect here never smoked or drank before.” 
you scoffed, crossing your arms, “for your information, i have drank before.”
“oh yea? when was the last time, princess?” god, you hated that nickname. you hated the way it made you red in the cheeks. 
“….at church.” you muttered quietly, sending ellie and dina into a fit of laughter. 
“did you hear that, dee? at church! she said the last time she drank alcohol was at church!” ellie let out a boisterous laugh, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. 
“good one, princess.”
you huffed, rolled your eyes, and rummaged around your side of the room to search for what you were looking for in the first place.
was it so wrong for you to not drink or smoke weed? you didn’t think negatively about anyone who used it, but you just didn’t feel comfortable using something that had such an effect on you. you wanted autonomy over your body at all times. 
bingo. you found the cropped white baby tee you wanted to change into, finding it more comfortable than the scratchy sweater you had on currently. turning away from the chatter of dina and ellie, you lifted the sweater above your head, tossed it in your laundry bag, and slipped into the more fitted and more comfortable white tee. 
standing in front of your mirror, you checked your outfit. you thought a simple t-shirt and black yoga pants were cute enough to hang out with jacob in. you fixed your hair, and looked up at the corner of your mirror, your eyes meeting green ones. 
ellie bit her lip, watching the beautiful yet stubborn girl in front of her. she couldn’t tear her eyes away from you. you just looked so goddamn beautiful. she couldn’t help but take a peek at the way your bare back curved or how soft your skin looked as your sweater slid off your body. ellie definitely didn’t complain about the yoga pants either and how they hugged your ass and thighs in all the right places. 
knowing she was staring at you, you hiked your yoga pants higher and bent over a little, reapplying your favorite shimmering lipgloss in the mirror. you weren’t sure what came over you, but the feeling of knowing ellie was watching you, gave you butterflies in your belly. 
you see her smirk and break eye contact with you. picking up your backpack and your ‘Organic Chemistry 101’ textbook, you bid dina a goodbye. 
“i’ll be back later tonight dina, don’t wait up for me.” you said, slipping your shoes on. 
ellie cleared her throat, “where you headed off to?” 
“pi kappa alpha frat.” you met ellie’s eyes. they looked disappointed, but then quickly rolled to the side, masking whatever sadness you thought you saw.
“hm, i see,” ellie commented, “gonna go blow some frat dude’s cock, huh?”
you groaned, “ugh, no, idiot. i’m just gonna go study.” 
“mhm, whatever you say, princess.” you open the door and leave, hearing the sound of dina yelling ‘be safe’ right before you left. 
walking down the corridor, you thought to yourself ‘jacob isn’t that bad’. i mean, you both aren’t in a relationship by any means. you would describe it as ‘situationship’. jacob was nice, funny sometimes, cute, had a nice body, and was cool. him as a boyfriend though? you weren’t sure about that. he was good company, provided mediocre sex, and was nice to talk to, well, usually he’d talk about hockey and you’d listen. but that’s beside the point. you’re content with this situation, right? 
-
walking back to your dorm from what was probably the worst sex of your life was, quite frankly, embarrassing. you spend time changing into a cute outfit, fixing your makeup, and spritzing on a little bit of your favorite expensive perfume to show up to this dude’s room with him reeking of sweat and ham. you were disappointed, to say the least.
yet, you stayed anyways, unsure of what even compelled you to do that. you stayed for the company, and that company starts rubbing on your ass and tits not even 5 minutes into the netflix show. eventually, you give in, feeling in the mood from a little making out, and you were met with 3 thrusts and cum on your stomach. 
needless to say, you left in a hurry. currently cuddled under your pink duvet with your earphones on, you end up scrolling about on instagram, tapping to like and swiping up to comment on your friends posts. 
while aimlessly scrolling, a picture from @e.williams pops up on your timeline. you study her picture in fascination.
it was a mirror picture of her in the gym, she had her hair up in her usual half-up half-down style with a tight tank top accentuating her physique as she was flexing her arms. gosh, how could someone so annoying be so gorgeous? your eyes trail to her arms and hands. and so fine? you double-tap on the picture, looking at it for a second more before scrolling past to the next post. 
your phone vibrates, and you check the notification from your instagram dm’s.
@e.williams: you checking me out or something ??
you scoff, heat rising to your cheeks. luckily, ellie wasn’t here to see that, or else you would’ve never heard the end of it. you type back.
in ur dreams idiot 
you lay in bed closing your eyes, and somehow, your mind drifts off to that annoying green-eyed girl.
your mind goes to the way she looks at you when she thinks you don’t notice, or how even though she comments on everything you do, she’s so attentive about it. your mind plays in your head the way she calls you those stupid nicknames, and as much as you claim to hate them, you can’t deny the way it makes your heart flutter. 
then, your mind floats to the corner of your brain that you keep locked away. you think about the way ellie bites her lip when she gets anxious, how better her lips would feel pressed onto yours. you think about the way she flexes her arms and hands, wondering how they would feel stroking your most intimate parts. 
you find your hand inside your panties. luckily, dina was in the communal showers, doing her 25-step skincare routine. knowing you had the time, your hand goes down to your wet heat, rubbing your clit in slow circles. 
you close your eyes, picturing her in your head, imagining her fingers working on you instead. you think about how perfect she’d look above you, looking down at you with adoring eyes. you knew she’d take good care of you. you suppress the need to moan by biting down on the duvet. 
even when she wasn’t here, ellie had a way of drawing out unrecognizable responses from you. your finger still rubbing circles on your clit, an orgasm began to bubble in your stomach. you picked up the pace, legs beginning to shake, “fuck, ellie..” you manage to moan out as you finish on your fingers. 
gosh, what was this girl doing to me?
-
it was saturday night and you had managed to get another date with jacob. you rejected him at first, but he was very persistent and promised ‘mind-blowing sex’ and takeout from one of the best restaurants in town. you obliged, clearly in it only for the takeout. 
you thought it’d be a good idea to hang out with him. his hockey stories distracted you from the real person you had your mind stuck on, ellie. 
you thought about her all the time, it gave you a migraine. you couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore without feeling nervous. luckily, you managed to avoid her all week, hanging out at one of your good friend’s dorm room ’til you knew the coast was clear. 
you didn’t let yourself think about what it would be like being in a relationship with ellie williams. she didn’t like you at all, not in that way anyway. she’d probably make some comment like ‘hell would freeze over before i even look at you like that’. the two of you together would be a recipe for disaster. you literally despised each other. 
smoothing down your dress, you smiled at the mirror in satisfaction. you went over to your desk and sat down, getting ready to apply some light makeup.
hearing the door open and close, you assumed it was dina.
“damn, who died?”
your head turns and meets those stupid green eyes and that stupid smirk adorned with those stupid freckles that make your stupid heart race a little faster. god, you were so stupid. 
“ha ha, very funny,” you snapped, “what are you doing here, anyways?”
“dina doesn’t get off work for a couple of hours and i didn’t have jackshit to do, so i thought i would wait for her here,” ellie plops down on dina’s bed.
“hell, no. get out,” you demanded, pointing to the door. you really just wanted her to leave so you could let go of the breath you’ve been holding. it made you anxious being alone with her and the fact that she wore that stupid blue button-up that made her look so good didn’t make anything better either. 
“chill out, princess,” ellie said leaning back against dina’s head board, “you won’t even notice i’m here.” 
you huffed in frustration, trying to hide the crimson creeping up on your cheeks. you proceeded to get your mind off the brunette by continuing your makeup, intently dabbing your concealer in, and carefully curling your lashes. you pat your face gently with some powder and brush out your brows, once in a while looking to the side of your mirror, catching ellie looking at you before she quickly looks away, pretending to be on her phone.
“gettin’ all dolled up for your lil’ boyfriend?” she asks dryly, still looking down at her phone. 
“wouldn’t you like to know?” 
“please, do enlighten me, princess.” you swallow hard, “i’ll have you know that i’m going out with jacob anderson tonight.” 
“no fucking way, is that the shithead you’re seeing from pi kappa alpha?” she says, surprised with wide eyes.
“mhm,” you hummed in confirmation, still rummaging in your makeup.
“why am i even surprised, you did always gravitate towards the assholes.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”, you paused and raised a brow. 
“you go for assholes,” she stated, “do i need to spell it out for you?”
“jacob is not an asshole, he’s really nice.” you muttered, patting on some blush. “he’s hell of a lot nicer than you.” 
okay, you knew that was a lie. but you had to think of a way to get her off your back.
“m’yeah, i highly doubt that. he’s a fucking tool,” she says nonchalantly, “where’s he even taking you anyways?”
“he asked me to meet up with him at the frat house, we’re gonna watch netflix and eat takeout and stuff,” you admit. 
“you fuckin’ with me?” ellie looks surprised and almost pissed. 
“no, why would i?”
“are you serious? it’s pouring rain outside and he asked you to come over,” she points out, “the asshole didn’t even have the decency to come over here and walk with you himself.”
your eyes look out the window, barely registering the pitter-patter of the rain hitting your window. you didn’t even know it was raining and you wore a dress. your mind was so consumed with classes, ellie, clubs, ellie, student body, ellie, and ellie. the small details just flew right over your head.
you stay silent, and she just gives you a look. a look you couldn’t decipher.
“you’re a real piece of work, y’know that?” ellie retorts, crossing her arms. jesus, why did she have to look so good like that?
“what’d i do this time? please, share with the class.” you say, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“you just go for guys who treat you like garbage or who’re way out of your league.” she argues, “they’re either too stupid or don’t give a fuck about you.” ouch. that kind of stung.
you close your eyes, waiting before answering back at her, “can you stop it?! just for once. stop judging every single thing i do.” you yell, exasperated.
ellie’s eyes widen and she lets out a laugh, which sets you off even more.
“you think this is funny? you always make some snide comment about me. i’m too high maintenance, i’m a teacher’s pet, i’m spoiled, i go after horrible guys—“ 
“because you do!” she yells back.
“and why do you care, ellie?!” you yell, becoming out of breath, partly due to the hard pounding of your heartbeat in your chest, “why do you care so much?
she goes silent. 
“god, you infuriate me, ellie williams.” you breathe out. you felt almost as if fire was igniting inside of you and your slow breaths were releasing the smoke. you close your eyes, attempting to calm down before opening them again and putting on the last finishing touches on your makeup. as you stand up grabbing your purse, and you hear ellie let out a heavy sigh. 
“you’re seriously still gonna go out with that fucking frat bro prick jacob anderson? after everything i said?” she snarks, “i thought girls like you were supposed to be smart.” 
“yea, as a matter of fact. i am still going,” you give her a mocking smile.
“why? so, he can fuck you missionary in the dark while he finishes in 3 seconds?” she lets out a harsh laugh, “how fucking romantic.” 
“again, why do you even care? you don’t even like me,” you counter, her head spins in your direction.
“who told you that?” ellie appeared angry, her eyes sharp and a serious tone in her voice.
“no one that matters.” 
there’s a pregnant pause in the air as if she’s hesitating to say something. 
“well, whoever the fuck they are, they’re wrong.” she confessed, her voice wavering.
“what do you mean?”
she sighs in frustration, running a hand through her hair before standing up in front of you. 
“i’m infatuated with you.” 
“huh?” you manage to croak out in shock. did you hear her correctly?
“yea. you heard me. i’m infatuated with you. you fucking consume every corner of my mind. every capacity of my being.” she comes closer to you, backing you up against the door, “you drive me absolutely insane.”
“then why do you treat me like this?” you ask, looking up at her with big, curious eyes. ellie’s eyes soften at you.
“because— i hate seeing you go on dates with those dicks who don’t deserve you. i hate seeing the way you dress in those short-ass fucking dresses and skirts for them. i hate knowing that they don’t even make you feel good. i hate that you waste your time on those assholes instead of—,” she breathes, “—instead of me.” 
you look at her, searching for any sign of doubt in her face. nothing. no. she couldn’t do this. she couldn’t spring this on you. she couldn’t act one way to you for months and then tell you something different the next.
“so what? you think you deserve me? you deserve my attention?” you snap ungraciously.
“as a matter of fact, yes. yes i do.” she whispers, getting closer to you. “you and i both know it,” her breath fans your face, “i’d make you feel better than any of those assholes could.”
you shift uncomfortably in your spot, pulling your eyes away from hers. 
“i can give you everything you deserve. i can give you everything you want.” she swears. “i can make your pussy feel so, so good, baby,” you can feel your wetness pool in your panties. 
“can make you whimper and moan,” ellie suddenly grabs you by the bare flesh underneath your ass, her warm hands hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around her waist. 
“jus’ give me a chance to show you.” she whispers lowly. you smash your lips onto hers, your hands holding onto the nape of her neck. you knew this was probably a bad idea, but god, the way her tongue felt in your mouth felt ungodly. her tongue rubbed against yours, exploring your mouth like it was something she was destined to do. 
walking towards your bed, your frame still wrapped up around her, she bent down to lay you on your bed. ellie pulled away from your lips and looked down at you, scattering gentle kisses below your jawline towards your neck, your legs still firmly wrapped around her figure.
with your eyes closed, savoring the feeling of her lips all over your neck, you attempted to put an end to this. “el, we can’t,” you nearly moan out.
“why? ‘cause of jacob?” ellie lets out an amused laugh, before pressing her lips against the weak spot of your neck, sucking on it. 
another moan vibrates through you, “god, ellie,” you let out meekly. 
“tell me to stop,” she commands, her lips moving to suck on the spot above your collarbone, the tip of her tongue gliding against your skin. don’t stop. 
“tell me that i’m wrong,” ellie murmured, “that i don’t deserve you.” you deserve me.
her fingers lift up the hem of your dress, exposing your stomach. her lips pepper sloppy kisses against the supple skin of your stomach, “tell me you don’t want me,” i want you, “that you don’t feel the same for me.” i do feel the same for you. 
“tell me, baby,” ellie kisses in the space between your breasts, “tell me you’re not mine.” 
your heart was beating in and out of your chest. this was it. this was your chance. getting an opportunity to be with ellie williams was a once-in-a-lifetime offer, and you weren’t passing up your dream girl. 
you grab her face, lifting her lips up to yours. “i’m yours, ellie,” you cooed, “i’m all yours.” 
leaning her forehead against yours, her lips curled into a smile, before pressing onto yours one more time. her warm hands rubbed against the skin on your waist, exploring every inch of warm, flesh. you whined against her mouth, wanting more. you needed more. you needed her. 
ellie’s hands trailed upwards, lifting the dress off you and discarding it somewhere in your room. she took this opportunity to pull away from you for a second, her eyes grazing your body. ellie found it hard to believe she was in this situation, with you underneath her, nearly naked and looking angelic. she took a mental picture of this moment, never wanting to forget how you looked at her— with love.
her fingers went behind you to unclasp your bra, letting it fall and tossing it to the side.
“fuck, you’re so beautiful,” she whispered, “you’re beyond anything i could’ve dreamt of.” 
your stomach erupted in butterflies, flushed at this newfound sweet side to ellie. her mouth placed sloppy kisses on your chest, sucking on the soft skin and leaving maroon-colored marks as a reminder of where she had been and where she belongs. 
she took your breast in her mouth, letting her tongue wrap around your hardened nipple. “oh my god, ellie,” you hissed. she smirked up at you, letting one of her hands massage and pinch on the other nipple.
“please, ellie,” you begged, “touch me, please.” 
she let out a sickening chuckle, the heat of her mouth fanning your skin, sending shivers up your spine. 
“where, sweet girl?” she said bringing her lips down to suck on your nipple again, “use your words.”
you bucked your hips up, “please, el, touch my pussy. pretty please.” you breathe out.
“ah, ah, ah, can’t hear you, baby.” she mocked, pulling her lips away from your now sensitive nipples.
“ellie, please,” you whined out, “i want you to touch my pussy. please.” 
she smirks, satisfied with where she has you. “that’s my good girl. how obedient, hm?”
she stands up, still in between your legs, and pulls your body to the edge of the mattress. her hands go to the waistband of your panties, using her fingers to ever-so-slowly peel them off of you. she was intentionally moving agonizingly slow. her hands caressed your inner thighs and calves, finally chucking your panties somewhere on the floor. 
“fuck, i’ve been waiting so long to do this,” ellie said, crouching down on the floor in front of you. you could feel her hot breath against your pussy, and you couldn’t bear it any longer. 
“please, i need you, el,” you beg, hoping for some relief. her hands lifted your thighs and placed them on her shoulders, her lips pressing soft kisses in between your thighs. she presses a kiss against your inner thigh, on your pussy lips, and then finally on your clit. 
ellie works slow and patiently, using her fingers to steadily spread your pussy lips apart and gather your wetness with her tongue. she uses one finger and inserts it inside you, eliciting a gasp from your lips. 
you throw your head back, “oh my god, ellie, yes,” you moan out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. 
“look at you, getting what you want, you spoiled girl,” she mutters against your pussy, before putting her lips on your clit again, sucking on your sensitive core. her finger pumping in and out of you easily, the slick sound of your wetness reverberating throughout the room.
“you taste so fucking good, baby,” ellie hums against you, slurping up every drop of your juices. she adds a second finger, stretching you out a bit, but still sliding in and out of you with ease. 
her tongue flicking against your clit combined with her fingers fucking you was enough to almost send you over the edge, you cover your mouth with your hand, suppressing a loud moan that was tempted to come out.
“no, let me hear you, sweet girl,” ellie orders, “let everyone in this whole goddamn hall hear how good i’m fingerfucking you right now.”
you let your hand drop to your side, relishing in the ecstasy, and letting out a moan you were holding back.
“that’s my girl.” 
you hear your phone ring, knowing it’s jacob, probably wondering why you haven’t shown up by now. but here you were, with ellie, knuckles deep inside your pussy. 
she grabs your phone from the nightstand with her free hand, while the other is picking up the pace with her fingers, eliciting another moan from your parted lips, “hey fucker, leave a message. she’s busy right now.” 
you should’ve scolded her about how she answered your phone, but right now, any consequences you thought about vanished as she continued licking circles against your swollen clit while simultaneously curling her fingers up inside your leaking hole. 
“el—“ you barely choked out, “m’gonna— gonna—“
she kept the same pace, not for a second slowing down, “you gonna cum, baby? huh? you gonna cum for me?” 
you nodded weakly, clenching your pussy around her fingers and tightening your thighs around her head. 
“go ‘head, angel,” her pace never misses a beat, “show me who you belong to.”
your back arches off the mattress and you cry out, riding out your orgasm and letting your juices flow out of you. 
after cleaning your thighs with a wet wipe and towel, ellie comes up to hover above your face, planting a tender kiss on your lips. 
“is it too late to ask you to be my girlfriend?” she asks, letting out a sincere laugh. 
“i thought we already established this, idiot.” 
read part 2 here
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mioons · 4 days
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‎ YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS ✦ 星星
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ᐢ..ᐢ enha when you relapse ㅤ✿ 𝖾𝗇𝗁𝖺 𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝓁𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗑 𝒻𝖾𝗆. 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ⟢ ( 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍, 𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗅𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗁, 𝖾𝗌𝗍. 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 ) . . 630 ⟡
EN— | 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽 ♥︎ CLiCK
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heeseung thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. so why on earth would he ever allow you to damage or tarnish your body? it truly breaks his heart every time. he feels his heart being torn into two every time he sees a new scar on your body.
“baby, it’s gonna be okay,” he’d whisper into your hair as he cradled your trembling body.
each tear that rolled down your cheek was like a stab to his heart. he wanted to whisper into your ear and tell you he’ll take care of you forever, that he’ll love you for a lifetime.
he wishes he could take all the pain inside of your heart and give it to himself. an angel like you doesn’t deserve to suffer.
“shh.. i love you. don’t hurt yourself please? talk to me okay? i’ll do everything i can to help yeah? my pretty baby.”
jay can’t bear to see you hurt yourself, be it over something trivial or something serious, it pains him to see you in pain. seeing any sort of scar or wound inflicted upon your skin causes him to immediately rush to your side, wrapping his strong arms around your scared frame.
and god did it hurt to see you so scared, so in pain. the worse part of all this was him not being able to do anything.
he could only whisper sweet nothings into your ear, mumbling quiet, ‘i love you’s and ‘you’re gonna be okay sweetheart’s
he wanted to confront whoever or whatever that caused you so much hurt and destroy every fibre of it.
“‘s okay sweetheart, i’m here. i’m here right now with you,” he’d press a few kisses to the side of your face in hopes it would calm your nerves a little.
“i love you no matter what.”
jake doesn’t blame you for any of the hurt and pain you’re going through. in fact, he thinks he hasn’t done enough to protect you, to keep you safe from harm. how could he let such a beautiful soul like you go through anything bad in life? he wants to transfer all the scars on your body to his, to make you feel loved and so protected by him.
once he found you lying on the floor of your shared bedroom, he frantically rushed to your side and held you against his chest.
“oh my precious girl.. i’m so sorry my love,” he’d whisper into your hair, pressing kisses to the side of your head and your face.
if kissing you could take your pain away, jake would do it in a heartbeat.
“you’re so enough for me baby, don’t ever tell yourself anything otherwise.”
jake would comfort you over and over again, not feeling any ounce of discomfort or annoyance.
for you were his precious girlfriend he had to protect for eternity.
sunghoon may seem like the kind of guy to not be sentimental but in reality the moment he sees you hurting yourself or beating yourself up over something trivial, he’s already at your side.
holding your hands in his, he gently entwines both your fingers together. he’s holding your hand not only to comfort you but to stop you from hurting yourself even more. to stop you from thinking you should hurt yourself because an angel such as you should never have to have these negative thoughts in her head.
“if you can’t love yourself, let me love you for you,” he’d whisper ever so softly in your ear. sunghoon will press feather like kisses all over your tear stricken face, a silent way of telling you that even at your lowest, he’d still love you the same forevermore.
“let me be the one you share your joy and your pain with.”
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taglist ╱ @flwrstqr @wonsdoll @won4kiss @dioll @tzyunaes @suneng @jakesangel @wonsprincess
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