#sorry ab this but i saw this in a post i liked back in 2014 and i was like. jfc this is going in the soup

[incorrectquotesideas-deactivated]

Person A, to Person B and C: I chime in with a HAVEN’T-YOU-PEOPLE-EVER-HEARD-OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR?

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi I just want to ask something. Do you think Jungkook has been always like/love Jimin the way he is before or just when he started to glow up. I'm just asking this bc you know Jungkook has been always rank Jimin last on looks or said he look different without makeup before. I know he didn't meant harm to Jimin but do you think Jimin has been trying to look good and go on extreme diet to be loved by Jungkook or Jungkook has been always trying to hide his feelings for him but act tough

Huh?...

What an interesting question....

For a moment there I thought I had already discussed this in my blog posts? Chileee.

Now you'd have to specify which period in time you consider a glow up point for Jimin. Do you mean the period of 2014/15 when he was starving himself, passing out on stage and bleeding through his nose to stay anorexic? *Side eyeing you.

To me, Jimin's 'glow up' coincided with their debut in 2013. Those fine abs, sculpted muscles yet soft toned feminized features- sorry Jimin, you weren't fooling no one.

This was also the period I noticed JK showing overt signs of sexual and emotional attraction towards Jimin. Jimin just seemed oblivious to it. And he would begin his own whipped journey around 2015/16 in my opinion.

Personally, I believe JK fell first for Jimin and 'turned' him- turned for lack of a better word. I don't buy into this whole Jimin fell first JK fell harder rhetoric.

But I think JK's interest in Jimin began long before this period. I don't think Jk had fully grasped the concept of his own sexuality much less to have come to terms with it in any time before 2012- before Jimin arrived in Bangtan- ok maybe he had a vague idea of it, but I do believe Jimin was his sexual and romantic awakening.

Jk and Jimin have two very distinct and opposite idol personas. I keep saying this.

Since we don't know them in person, I think it's safe to assume every aspect of them we experience on screen is a persona.

That persona is a facade, a curated wall on which they project bits and pieces of their true self and often put up a performance of this identity for our consumption.

In Jk's persona, he likes to retract and conceal aspects of his true personality and censor himself a lot while JM likes to amplify and exaggerate his true personality and put up a performance of it.

As I've said, it's mainly due to their backgrounds. JK was given a lot of leeway in his upbringing which he feels puts him at a disadvantage because he ends up exposing himself too much. Thus he likes to retract and hold himself back.

Jimin coming from a conservative background with many rules and what not revels in the new found freedom Idol life gives him so often he doesn't hold back as much as JK does. But that doesn't mean that who they really are in real life.

So often you'd hear people say Jimin looks more serious in person than he does on camera while JK is said to be more expressive than he usually is on camera.

But here is the thing, concealing his feelings is not JK's nature it's his choice. And this is very important to note. He chooses not to do certain things on camera while Jimin chooses to do certain things on camera.

So when JK is not showing his feelings for Jimin it's not because he can't show those feelings, it's more like he doesn't want to show those feelings.

Thus when people say he wasn't showing his feelings for Jimin because he was shy I raise my brows- Shy my ass. Lol

Was he acting tough then? Hmmmm. He likes to act tough no two ways about that. I've said he has a good poker face between him and Jimin. If you are not careful you might think he doesn't like Jimin. But trust me, that man is whipped on god.

But I don't think that's what he was doing in those early dynamics.

I think he was hesitant in pursuing Jimin openly at the time because he wasn't sure about Jimin's sexual orientation much less whether or not Jimin reciprocated the feelings he had for him.

And you could tell not knowing these about Jimin terrified JK a lot, hence his hesitation.

But later when he was certain of both he became more confident in the way he expressed himself and his feelings for Jimin.

Prior to this you could see him fishing and testing the waters with Jimin, slowly pushing Jimin's boundaries- a gentle touch here, a lingering stare there.

He would often pay attention to the things Jimin would say but especially about his romantic and sexual preferences. Like when Tae said he felt Jimin liked men and when Jimin was asked about why he liked JK and JK seemed like he wanted to know.

Then he went through that phase where he seemed obsessed with Jimin's reaction to when other guys sexualised him and expressed interest in him. He seemed very attentive to these little details in a way that seemed to me as if he was fishing for confirmation that Jimin actually liked men and liked him- in a nonplatonic manner.

I feel Jimin noticed these things too in JK but was mostly fascinated by it. So often he would go out of his way to express his sexuality, exaggerate it and perform it as if to let JK know he was ok with JK liking him in that kind of way. Often, you'd see him egging JK on to touch him where JK seemed hesitant, reassuring JK- I think y'all know the bit I'm talking about. I feel JM wanted JK to feel comfortable expressing his interest in him- he ain't slick.

I've said Jimin's persona is a performance. I can see how to JK that could be very confusing. Hell, half of the fandom still read Jimin wrong to this day. Is he gay, bi, straight, a woman, a man, bigender- it's a lot of questions. Legitimate questions.

And I think for JK, seeing Jimin behave like the rest of BTS with the skinship towards him was equally confusing. So often he would shy away from it. Jk was going through puberty, everything was heightened for him.

It's also important to consider the possibility that, if JK was LGBTQ plus that he was going to hide it and not come out to his bandmates for as long as he worked with them- because it's none of their business first and foremost but also because it would have affected their attitudes towards him.

I mean look at the fear and panic with which they greet Jikook when Jikook breath anywhere near eachother in public spaces- not to call them out or anything but I don't think if they were straight that they were going to treat them same. I mean Taejin is as wild as Jikook but.... sigh.

So then going on to catch feelings for one of such said band mates who gives off queer vibes, he had better be sure about him before coming out to him and confessing to him lest he risked his career and friendship with him.

If Jimin wasn't LGBTQ plus it would have been cruel of him to act the way he does with JK honestly. For instance Joking about marriage knowing full well the fight LGBTG plus couple have to put up to have this basic human right- of course JK would yeet himself out of that conversation. I'm talking about that Jikook Vlive and all the time JK has squeezed his face disgruntledly when Jimin has asked him to have his kids- like why Jimin!

Jimin I feel because he is Bi whatever doesn't take this gay business seriously at all. If you've ever dated a bisexual you'd know the feeling. He is my bias and I love him but God he frustrates me for Jk honestly.

What annoys me most is I know how deep he is into JK. Like I've never seen a man so in love with another man in my entire queer life! Like shut up whippidy whipped ass we saw your face at Manila. You like that man. You like him.

Let JK put up a front and you'll see this tactless homegirl descending into that space we all hate so much and embarrassing himself left right left clinging on to JK seeking validation and reassurance- like can you be serious in your life for once Park Jimin. 😒

Anywho, I went off on a tangent there. Sorry.

But yes, this is another aspect of their dynamic I feel most people get twisted. Jimin enjoys JK's expressions of interest in him- however way he does it. Jk enjoys it too when Jimin shows him he wants him. Remember magic shop? Show me, I'll show you? And that line JK sang to Jimin that made Jimin nervous on Live with VMin? Yea...

They love each other and they love when the other is showing and expressing their love. Hell, isn't that why they are constantly trying to find creative ways to communicate their love? 5/8, love letters punctuated with sorries? Chileee.

Could Jimin's look be a contributing factor to JK liking him? Let me put it this way. People are attracted to people for a plethora of reasons, physical appearance being one of them.

Looks attract people, emotional connection binds them and make them stay. I have said this time and again JK is attracted to all of Jimin-looks, everything. When asked which part of of Jimin he liked most he put all of Jimin as the answer.

With regards to JM's weight, I think the tears he shed on stage during the performance of I Need You says it all. Jimin was killing himself and it was killing JK. Jimin wasn't doing all that out of self love much less for the love of JK.

He was doing all that because he wanted to be an Idol in every sense of the word. He was killing himself for his career. A career JK was once willing to walk away from and JM advised him to stay.

Jk defies the dictates of his career with the piercings and tattoos and gay pubs- the emphasis is mine. Y'all think he is about to be demanding of his life partner to look like what now? Chileee.

And when JK was starving himself and losing weight who was it that brought him down that ledge? Jimin. If it was a positive thing I thing he would have encouraged him.

Jk allegedly called Jimin his Mochi in that infamous graduation night track video. Did you see his reaction to when James Corden called Jimin Mochi? Baby fat cheeked Jimin was cute not ugly. And even if you think he was, JK still found that attractive. Jimin could be looking like my Aunt Becky and Jk would still fuck him.

Have you seen JK freeze frame to take snapshot photos of Jimin? It's almost always pictures of Jimin looking like the wicked witch of the west. He loves him some park Jimin memes. Loves that man to death.

How many times have he said Jimin looks beautiful without makeup? Remember the Vlive Jimin didn't want to be on camera because he didn't have makeup on? What did JK say?

Jk isn't a shallow person you know. He really isn't. He doesn't strike me as the kind at all. Questions like these presupposes that JK is a vain shallow person who only likes people for their looks. Don't get me wrong, it's a valid question, one that I'm happy to discuss but it also exposes the biases against JK and indirectly, Jimin.

Do you feel JK is shallow? I find a lot of people do and it breaks my heart.

Have you heard any of his songs? His GCFs?

He barely idolizes his subject matter's looks and appearances. You gave me the best of you, so I'll give you the best of me. What I found in you is real. That's doesn't sound shallow to me.

They work in a highly competitive and highly vainglorious environment. I think they know more than anything the dangers of vanity- it's fleeting. They put themselves through so much to appease the vanity matrics, to subject people they love through the same.

I've talked about how because JM comes from a demanding home and work environment that acceptance is one key aspect of his love language. He wants a person who loves him for who he is and accepts him without placing expectations on him.

If JK was this shallow JM wouldn't honestly have found him attractive much less love him to begin with. He wouldn't have found fulfillment and nourishment from JK. He loves JK because JK's values and upbringing makes him the perfect person for him to trust himself fully to.

Besides, for JK to be only attracted to JM because he glowed up, he himself must have been a ten from the onset which he wasn't let's be honest- no shade to him but he wasn't exactly packing now was he?

BTS are pretty but they've all undergone hefty transformations throughout the years, magic foreheads and all. So if you wonder if Jimin's glow up contributes to JK liking him, then you'd have to wonder if Jk glowing up also contributed to Jimin finding him attractive- it's a vicious cycle.

As for JK ranking Jimin last... did he ever rank himself first? No. He ranked Jimin last and himself second to last consistently. If he found Jimin unattractive he certainly found himself as equally unattractive only one step above Jimin.

I honestly think he was just teasing Jimin. He loves teasing Jimin because it's how he flirts with him. It's just the masculine energy in him I guess. V does this too when he flirts with Jimin. He teases him about his pinky, his Mochi cheeks and his glow up- Iland anyone?

Why y'all think JK looked away sharp when JM dropped to the floor?? He recognized what V was doing- don't mind me. I'm trolling. Lol. But deadass.

Jimin teases JK too by acting like he is available most times. It's the feminine energy in him. Girls like to tease their crush by amplifying their sex appeal. What better way to amp up your sex appeal than by having other people show interest in you? Jimin is a tease. Bless him.

Besides, when JK ranked Jimin first in looks he ranked himself last. I hope y'all don't think it's because he has low self esteem?

He ranked himself and Jimin last because he wanted to humble himself and by extension Jimin because he sees himself as Jimin's equal and as such recognizes their place as the youngest within the group. As he has explained, as the youngest, he places everyone else above him.

I honestly don't think Jungkook had always been interested in Jimin. But somewhere along the line while he came to terms with his own sexuality he began developing feelings for Jimin. His glow up had nothing to do with it. In my opinion.

I think Jimin caught him off guard? It's that red string serendipity destiny voodoo working its magic that orchestrating their love. In my opinion.

I don't think either of Jikook went searching for this love thingy either as I keep saying. It wasn't planned, it wasn't foreseen, it just happened to both of them but at a different pace.

I hope this helps?

Signed,

GOLDY

[lawandorderforevercsi]

Their Feelings Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Forever, the show belongs to Matt Miller and ABC.

Author's Note: Rediscovering Forever randomly and for the first time since I started watching the show when it debuted in 2014, I realized how much I love the show!

A/N 2: Not beta'd so any errors that appear are my own.

Post Ep: Last Death of Henry Morgan (1.22)

"What am I to you?"

"You're my friend, my partner. Someone I care very deeply about"

"But not enough to trust, huh? Here's what you've been to me. You are someone who has frustrated me and confused me and made me look at life in a different way. Most importantly, you have me made feel again. For that, I will always be grateful. Get out, Henry!"

For Detective Jo Martinez, today of all days had been a long and tough day. Tough because of the homicide case of Blair Dryden. But long because of something else entirely.

As the case they have put the pieces of the case puzzle together, Jo figured out that Henry was hiding something big. She was none too happy that he couldn't trust enough to tell her of his secret. Saying what she wanted to say, Jo asked him to get out of her car but regretted it as she didn't give him a chance to come clean. It took her to give him his watch, and a nudge from Abe a dated photo back for him to tell her. Henry began the long tale of his life.

Once she finally heard the whole story suffice to say, it overwhelmed her. Bidding them good night, she left the antique shop made it home on autopilot, and after a quick shower and salad for dinner, she was on the couch, and she thought over what he said to her. The most major the bombshell was his age and how he can get killed by never die, well not yet.

She thought Henry is over 230 years old? Mind-boggling for sure.

Finally, the adrenaline wore Jo soon fast asleep on the couch. However, as luck would have it, Jo had barely fallen asleep when he heard, "Ms. Josephine, it's time to wake up. You're getting married this afternoon."

Jo shook his head as he opened his eyes and thought, 'Huh... wait a minute, me getting married? I just got home!'

He woke up and realized he was not in her townhouse in NYC but a big Antebellum home, and there were several antiques in her room. As day and dream progressed, she learned she was the daughter of a wealthy banker in South Carolina and that she was to marry someone of equal importance in society. Everything was a blur, and before long, she was in a gown about to walk down the aisle. There was no expense spared. There were roses decorated everywhere, every nook and cranny. There she had seen the groom standing. She realized it was a replay of her and Sean's wedding with Sean but with more grandeur. However, when she arrived at the altar and saw the groom, it wasn't Sean, it was Henry's. Suddenly Jo was awakened by a distant sound, the knock of a door. Jo was drawn back to reality. She looked around and saw that she had fallen asleep where she sat.

Stretching and redoing her hair quickly and went to answer. Having her gun near her, she checked and saw it was Henry. She asked, "Can I help you, Henry?"

When Henry saw her in a form-fitting top and shorts, he was gob-smacked. He knew that Jo was beautiful inside and out. But what he saw her in made him speechless. Half irritated, and half-amused Jo asked, "Henry?"

Shaking his trance, Henry cleared his voice and said, "After you left, I thought about my actions. Jo, I am profusely sorry I wasn't able to confide in you when we were in your car. I just wasn't sure if you would believe me. It took my last encounter with Adam to make me realize one thing."

Jo asked tersely this time, "And that is what?"

Henry stepped closer, invading her personal space, which he knew could backfire for him. But he didn't care; he now knew what he wanted. He said, "I want you in my life. Not just as a colleague or a friend, but as a...well, this will help."

Henry steps even closer, invading her personal space, places his hand on her waist, pulled her in, and kissed her hard. While Jo was surprised, she did a mental victory dance. Yes, she was mad at him for taking a long time to her his secret, but he was the one who helped her feel again.

Just as she was about to respond when he pulled away, she thought darn it Jo. Your timing is getting slow.

Henry pulled away, thinking he screwed it up. He said, "I guess you don't feel the same way. I don't blame you. I will go and in the morning put in a request for a transfer."

Jo was not about to let a good man walk away. Before Henry could move away and go back home, he felt Jo pull on his hand and into her residence. Once they were in, Jo had Henry pinned to the wall closest to the door. Holding him in place with her hands, she fused not only her body to him but also returned the favor and crushed her lips to his setting a sizzling kiss. Henry responded by wounding his arms her waist and settled them on the small of her back and passionately made out like horny teenagers.

When they parted lips to get air, the new-minted lovers rested their heads together, and he saw that Jo had the biggest smile on her face. Jo spoke, "I love you too, you lug, and from now on, we don't keep any secrets, okay?"

He said, "I completely agree with you, my dear Jo."

Hearing him call her dear made her heart leap. Following a brief moment of silence, Jo said, "Henry, also thank you for helping me fulfill a fantasy."

Intrigued, Henry asked, "What fantasy would that be?"

Jo explained, "I have always had the fantasy of being an ordinary girl being kiss the popular boy."

Henry smiled. He leaned in for another kiss, which Jo didn't even hesitate to deepen. However, before it got to heated, Henry broke the kiss, causing Jo to whimper at the loss of his soft lips. While he wanted to take her to bed now, he wanted to do it the right way. He spoke softly, "Jo, I want this done properly. You deserve to be courted and treated like a queen. You deserve to be worshipped. I want to do that and show how much you mean to me."

Jo smiled. There were no words to describe Henry except the gentleman who wanted to do things the right way. She asked, "Dr. Morgan, are you asking me on a date?"

Henry replied cheekily, "Why indeed I am Detective Martinez. Be ready tomorrow night at seven. The dress is formal. That is all you get from me."

She walked him to the door, and after pulling him in for another kiss and they bid adieu. When Jo closed the door, she knew her heart belonged only to one Henry Morgan.

A/N 3: Thanks for reading "Their Feelings". Keep an eye out for the missing scenes for this story.

[ulookgoodtoday]

This is gonna be a long rant

No need to say this but I am a CS, I strongly believe they were in love and actually believe they still are. If you don’t see it I’m sorry for you bc it means you’ve never been in love and seen someone staring at you like they do. 
Plus our captain Dinah (and her aunt) made it pretty clear. If you’re in doubt it could also be bc of the narrative stupid managers tried to pull, but honestly anyone can see through it. I suggest you read Emisons Camren theory and post about synchronization (which I found out after I made my mind clear ab Camren) which makes perfectly sense and was confirmed to be true at 98% by ExposingLaucy.

Let me say that of course this is just my opinion and I ALWAYS take into consideration that it could be not real. I respect L and C personal life and never dare to intrude or comment their post on social networks. I want them to be happy and if they are now (I believe they are) I am happy. They can be whom whoever THEY want.

Said so, here’s my delusional Camren theory. It’s not about proving Camren is real but an analysis of their relationship (I tried to be accurate, considering songs, interviews, trustworthy sources, timing).

I believe they had feelings for each other since the beginning (2012-3), especially C, but they genuinely thought they were just friends or that it was nothing serious (ExposingLaucy said C was the one to fell in love - “Mine is Lauren” “Who are u kissing under the mistletoe?” Her obsession with “Normani”- and L slowly fell in love w her). That’s why L gave birth to Camren “it’s Camren yo” (16 oct 2012) and why they were so explicit in the interviews, on camera, tumbrl, twitter, bc they thought it was a joke and were really close. Then ppl started to see what basically they couldn’t see or admit to themselves yet (love in their eyes), ppl started shipping them and assuming they were together but again they brushed it away and even invited us to float that f boat (Nov 2013). I believe if they ever kissed before 2014 it was as a joke, at least for L (“What happened in the elevator?” Feb 2013 DinahJane on twitter. #camrenfeels 28th June 2013 and the photo of them cuddling, L saying “Thanks babe” Feb 2014 and being totally chill with it) and above all they never talked about it.

I know C said back then that her first kiss was at 17 (and everyone assumed it was with Austin but could have been with L - April 2014) and then in a recent interview ab her album she said she was 16 when she had her first kiss so it could be 1) they kissed before 2) they kissed before but as a joke and then, after realizing how they felt for each other, she reconsider that kiss 3) she messed up with her memory, she gets confused by all the bs they made her say during these years. In the same interview she said she had her first breakup at 17, which could be her telling bs and alluding at her breakup with Austin (even tho in other interviews she dismissed that relationship) or what I’ll explain later about her relationship with L.

I think C was the first to realize she had feelings for L and that’s when she wrote “Only told the moon” (where she’s scared ab her emotions and afraid the other person won’t feel the same way) even though she wrote a tweet “only told the moon” in Jun 2015. What we know through EL is that they were both each other’s first kiss and everything. [plus I’m still not over Sep 2013 when C cries singing Who are you and L glances at her every other second].

We assumed Camren real first kiss was in April 2014 (1975 concert) and it is rumored that L broke up w Brad in Dec 2014 after 8 moths. Now, I don’t believe they had an actual relationship but more a fling and not that long (L was supposed to be w Luis Felipe right? They broke up Aug 2014. And in July we have the suspicious Camren’s moans in the bunk). ANYWAY the import part is that Brad wrote I found a girl that goes "she said that she tried but she's not into guys". So now what I think is that that's basically L freaking out about the kiss she had with C because she realized she had feelings for her (so more than friendship), trying to convince herself she's not into girls, rushing into Luis and then B to prove herself wrong, then again going back to C still confused until she figures it out later. Especially when you are bisexual the process can be hard because you try to understand where you stand, if you like boys OR girls, so it’s confusing when you have feelings for both and u try to deny one or the other until you realize bisexual is A THING. The Vamps made it clear that the song is for L and then took a photo with a “Camren is real” sign in the back (well done Brad, you’re an asshole). In the song he also said that this girl started to talk to him about the other girl she was involved with, so he knew who L was in love with.

In 2014 C is in a PR relationship with Austin Moron and I think C wrote The Exchange song (unreleased as well) about that period. I came up with the timing according to a period when they were both dating others; after Chocolate by 1975 was out - we’re dressed in black, head to toe, it’s from that song while C wrote “we’ll be dressed in, all black from head to toe” and twitted it in apr 2015; also C’s tweets with the lyrics of the song - “there’s nothing like me and you and you know it” Apr 2014 -  and L indirects. I think it’s ab Lauren also bc she wrote “there’s beats I’ve been skipping when my head is on your chest” and I‘ve never seen C doing that with a boy. Plus the part where she says the other person knows there’s nothing like the two of them and “you’ve been trying to say it ain’t true” so again L rushing into L/B.

Also you can tell that their relationship was never defined properly by the fact that C many times during interviews referred to a relationship she had and described it as “sort of friendship “ or “romantic relationship or whatever that was”( also look for unreleased song of C, she said she wrote it when she was 17, “Like friends do” = I’ll sit straight it the couch like friends so. And I’ll stop kissing your mouth like friends do. Cause I can’t look at you quite like friens do. You don’t say my name quite like friends do).

I think after Brad and A, they were together, during 2015 (that’s when C appeared with the ring - EL said L gave it to C in Feb 2015 - and when they try to hide and look distant in front of the camera, yet close behind cameras) but still in a confused way during all that year, with ups and downs. I’d say C was pretty cool with her sexuality while L had more difficulties; and that explains to me why C cries singing Who are you basically every time (remember the girls co-worked in writing this one, if you look up on google you can see how Camila and Lauren’s names are the first ones written). Also that’s when she could have come up with IHQ bc she said she started writing it two years before it was released (May 2017). “My name was safest in your mouth”, “your voice, it was the most familiar sound” “i was there when no one was” and in the end - this part could have been written back then or in 2017 but either way express a miscommunication- “How do I fix it? Can we talk? Can we communicate” and “Do I wanna fix it? Is it my fault? Do u miss me?”.

I think that Lauren was the one that struggled the most (from the beginning 2013), she also said in an interview (2017) that when she was little was very confused and that people calling her bisexual/gay made her angry because she couldn’t understand how they figured it out and what was about her that made them think that. It’s also tricky was she said just after that. The interviewer asked her “Did your parents know before you came out?” ab your sexuality and she said “yes, they knew before, I was dating a girl AT THE TIME so they had to know”. So ok, who was she dating tho? Lucy? Yeah right.

I think that they had a shit load of pressure from managers to not be together and at least behave in front of the camera. I remember L (think it was Sept 2015) in an interview she said “when life hits love sometimes you just die”, i mean that’s daaark, girl! Anyways, that must have led to a lot of fights between the two of them especially because you can see how in a lot of interviews C kept staring L or doing things that were pointing obviously to Camren while L was trying harder to hide it. I think C might have felt rejected and they didn’t talk about all of this (and you can tell again by their songs that they had relationship where they didn’t comunicate - expectation, something’s gotta give, in the dark, IHQ.. someone put also In your phone but L didn’t write that one).

I think that’s when C wrote Must be love, this songs screams Camren like maybe no other and describes this period. In fact she says she fell hard, that she gets mad and puts on a show, there are highs and lows, everything gets real after two am (secret relationship), that she’s gonna look at her right back and “I promise you won’t like that” (L pissed every time C is explicit) and they fuss and fight but yet she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Also it’s a link to Consequences, which is in the album (in Must be love she goes “I guess everything has consequence”) and this song has no straight-relationship explanation. Through Consequences C describes her relationship w L and what had caused. I believe she is telling us all that she loved L so much she didn’t care about the consequences that came with it, which is f managers treating them like shit, make them hide it and led to them fight as well. It is not coincidence that she wrote this in Jan 2017 after she was out the group. It is not a coincidence that in concert before playing Consequences she always sings Falling in love (“Wise men say only fools rush in” is also the beginning of Must be love). And there are links to “She loves control” in my opinion which I think describes L and maybe the role she played in all this Camren shit. (Ok C has stated that she has OCD but she doesn’t go to club and when she’s in love she fell hard so u know, so much for the control). In Must be love says “you control me more than you’ve ever known” and in Sangria Wine “yo so que tu quieres controlar mi mente” that made me think the person she’s talking ab in She loves control might not be herself but another person. Many were shook about L singing “she doesn’t let me have control anymore” in Strangers which is a HELL of a coincidence but I think Halsey wrote it so I’m not sure whether we should consider it or not.

During 2015 to 2016 we saw a lot of things that suggested the ups and down. Remember that 2015 C had major anxiety problems and a lot of trash was thrown from the fandom (especially after IKWYDLS). C saying she rather date someone out of the industry but “you can’t decide who you fall in love with, UNFORTUNATELY”. Or when they fought in another interview when C was being too obvious bc she said she would marry her celebrity crush (or any crush) even if their parents did not approve, tho she didn’t say who her crush was but “it’s important” and “i’d be in love with my celebrity crush” (she always said it was Lauren). Or when they tried to make each other jealous.

Then 2016 is tricky. They started the 7/27 tour and again we see ups and downs but mostly L more at ease with her feelings for C. I think C was still struggling with her anxiety problems and all the narrative the managers were forcing the 5 of them to follow (they were prep C’s departure). I remember how L broke down 8 Sep 2016 singing No way, she always said that it was her fav song and described it as a dialogue happening in a couple; a toxic situation, two people who wants to be together but know shouldn’t be together and also ppl from the outside telling them they shouldn’t be together (she was so into this song that during a soundcheck she said she actually could imagine a visual and music video for it). She also cried during Scared to be happy and then tweeted after the concert the she got emotional because of the LYRICS. This was in Phoenix after the show in Texas where we saw Lucy. So that made me think she was struggling back then (remember that 4 days before, C left the stage in Missouri for anxiety), trying to figure out what to do between what she felt and also the pressure for the outside (maybe C, sure as hell managers and the PR ready to come).

I think that L in 2016 realized that she wanted to commit, as I said she seemed more at ease with her sexuality. She was happy during photos with CS, she danced with the pride flag, we have the blurry kiss in London (May 2016) in front of Lucy (!!), L even interacted with C during sound-checks and sang Dope to C (who was pretty surprised), she protected her from those balloons, C and L staying one more day in Barcelona, we had the VMAs (August 2016), she called her baby and so on. She seemed very protective. I believe that’s bc they were prepping the Laucy thing and her coming out. EL said they began the process leading to Laucy in June 2016 (remember the two of them in Colombia for L’s birthday, the videos of L dancing BBW to Lucy and so on - Emisonme explained perfectly).

I think that is why she came out in the end, after all this struggles, bc she felt ready, I don’t think she was forced to. Let’s be honest, if she didn’t want to she could have said it wasn’t her in the Laucy photo or she’s not so dumb, you’re at a family wedding and you get caught kissing a girl and the photo got leaked?! I say BS. And then she decided to make a photo book with Lucy as a coming out statement?! If she wasn’t ready to do it, none of this would have happened. I think she did it for two reasons: 1) Trump was pissing her off 2) to tell C that she was ready; they let her do it bc it was convenient for her image and 5h.  At the beginning of Havana - the music video - there’s an awkward scene, completely out of context. A guy comes out of a closet and says “I was in the closet” and C “so now, you’re out of the closet?” And he goes, a bit confused, “yes, for YOU”. Like wtf? C, was it necessary?! And don’t let me start with that video. C is watching the tv and you can here a woman saying in spanish “I want to be with Carmen but I can’t “, you can see a figure very similar to L and in the end C said “I love you, but I love myself more” which again made me think she’s the one that walked away in the end. Camila is giving us so many signs if u don’t see this you’re really dumb.

L obviously couldn’t come out without saying there was another girl, otherwise Camren was automatically confirmed in our mind. And who better than your best friend to help you do so and make it believable? Honestly it was a smart move and all the hate, slut shaming and shit Lucy received, she didn’t deserved it. I believe it was PR and that C was aware of this and supported it but it could have also been difficult for her. Even though she knew it wasn’t real, she might have been scared L might get involved for real, especially if you consider the fact that Camren could never be proud and loud, idk. Emisonme on tumbrl explained the Laucy shit so perfectly that I suggest u read it, I agree with everything she said. Again Emisonme explain PERFECTLY why L could come out as bi while C can’t (and she’s so gay she’s shitting rainbows).

I think shit went down tho, and they fell apart. I don’t know if it was bc of management’s pressure or miscommunication or whatever but apparently C walked away (as she said in many interviews that the situation was toxic - not the relationship - in something’s gotta give and Havana music video and in concert before singing Scar Tissue). I think that their break-up happened during that period of L coming out and C leaving/kicked out fifth harmony but that is so messed up I’m not elaborating [Theory: C leaving 5h was always supposed to happen]. Just remember how Dinah’s aunt said that Lauren would be devastated by the fact C left (”I’m pretty sure Lauren is heartbroken and shook, she is probably crying her brain away. But she already knew. If anything Lauren is leaving too. You gotta have your girl’s back. Of course I’m sure they are going to do a duet like on their own, you know, in the bedroom.”)

That’s when L was reaaally pissed at Camren fans (the tweet in Feb 2017), went a bit sassy in interviews avoiding to talk about C, and after “leaving Lucy” she “started dating Ty” (I call PR huge af). The reasons why she was pissed ab CS could be many, for starters I believe they broke up (so that’s one), n2 she came out and faked a relationship with another girl to protect C’s straight image and yet everyone kept believing in Camren, n3 her managers made her pull her straight image as well starting dating Ty to shut us up BUT I believe the real reason is n4 managers wanted to kill Camren (to launch C’s straight image) and destroy her image (as they did with the marijuana shit they pulled) bc even though i think the first three reasons are true and that’s what was going on in L’s mind I don’t think she would attack her fans and C like that. Anyways L tweeted “eyes on the moon” the day the Grammys (Feb 2017) were held and we know who the moon is.

I think C’s the one who walked away also bc of “Make u mad”, which was written mostly by L and she’s pissed y’all. There are also links btw this song and C’s songs. L also sang Back to me, she collaborated in writing the text but I don’t know to what extent but still a HELL of a coincidence.

I think they first met after all this shit at the Grammy’s after party in Feb 2017 but didn’t interact. Camila was there and she said that “In the dark” is about a boy she met there; then we have L who tweeted just the day after the Grammy’s after party ab waking up with hang over and understanding what’s fake and real. Funfact: read the lyrics of In the dark. “Vampires at the same places” we know Lauren is Lamp. L is running and “making rounds with your fake friends” and again “i can see u’re scared of your emotions, i can see you’re hoping you’re not hopeless” “who are u when it’s 3am and u are all alone” “secrets, endless”. Basically she’s asking this person to show her her real self.

Ppl said they met in March/April 2017 (i think) in studio (Diplo’s?) and I think that’s when C came up with All these years (L had longer hair - she had it cut in 2016; she had gained a bit of weight - that’s for arms stronger; her eyes, I mean WE BEEN KNEW; C was not prepared so she didn’t know L was going to be there; it was a quick hello bc they were not fine back then; “sounds like you’re happy with her” could be L’s PR; “wish I loved u like I miss u” implies that she had a relationship with that person but maybe not loved her in the right way or enough to make it last - she confirmed in an interview that this song is about an ex; who does C knows from YEARS? If I hear another SM shipper I’ll throw up)

Anyways I think that towards the mid of 2017 they kinda reconnected and now they’re in good terms. Remember how C said multiple times how even though it was a toxic situation she’d do it all over again. So that makes me think that they loved each other and the problem was mostly all the environment they were into (if the relationship was trash why on earth would she do it again?!) and C is trying to say to L: baby come back to me.

Since this is not a post w the intent of explaining why Camren is real I won’t elaborate.

In conclusion I think they are still in love (C sang it in every possible way) and probably a couple or working on to be one and the problems in their relationship were due to miscommunication and pressure from the outside.

—> Again Emisonme made super clear why they couldn’t be together in the Music business. 

Stay strong in this PR shit and let them be. Even if they don’t tell us, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. 

Just remember EL said 2018 would be the year of the commitment, 20gayteen everybody.

“I am a lover and a fighter. I will fight for what I love” Go get your girl Lauren

[dannycaing]

JAMICH

JAMICH by Danny Caing Date Written: March 6, 2020

Scene 1  THE INSPIRATION

May 22, 2014, @ GMC Thursday Breaktime 3:28 PM

It was Thursday afternoon I was watching on the youtube channel, when I suddenly came across a program about a Girlfriend Proposes To Her Boyfriend (Jamich Proposal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N29dKoxjHf4) at Jamich TV. I was astonished and heartily touched by their dramatic performances.  I thought this was just one of their show like movies of Mandy Moore's A Walk To Remember,  Ali Macgraw's Love Story and Lelee Sobieski's Here On Earth.   I was sad to know that Jam has lung cancer. Right there on then,  I wrote the song Sabi Mo Mahal Mo Ako, and later I change the title of the song called JAMICH for Jam Sebastian and Mich Liggayu Love Team.  

Scene 2  THE FIRST OFFICIAL PERFORMANCE

July 19, 2014, @ Funky Monkey Bar, Q.C. Saturday 8:32 PM

Laykern Wredd of RADYO Band contacted me on the phone and invited me to join the PINOY WOODSTUCK gig event, a night with Arts show and Musical Talents of the underground bands like Howler Flowers, Roy Antonio, Alasmedya, Malaya, Trigger Happy, Lnguaje, ANO-Pilipinas, Earpens, and an American Wallpaint Artist - RAVEN. Good music, vibes, and drinks. This was the first time I sang the song Jamich live in public.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL306WwHhsc

Scene 3  THE RECORDING SESSION

August 21, 2014, @ Funky Monkey Bar, Q.C., Thursday 8:23 PM

"REMEMBER... IT'S ALL ABOUT HISTORY" by Proud & Loud Production and Rakrakan Na Tayo, featuring - Lazaro, Radyo, Laculus, Kashmir, Godzilla Versus Tokyo, Hoodlum, Danny Caing, Earpens and MAIA.  

It was Norman Buena, the drummer of Hoodlum, who suggested to write as many songs as I can, record them and then post them on the internet. At that time I have composed 70 songs in which I was able to create an album called Spiral Echoes that consists of 39 songs. So, I told him that I have this new song Pila Dito Pila Doon, which might be a first good try for serious recording. After two months, we were able to set an appointment date for recording at Audiofonix Recording Studio on October 17, 2014, Friday 2:38 PM. The Studio was managed & owned by Gino Rafael of Trapeze Band. During the recording session, Norman, as the Recording Editor, proposed to me to record Jamich instead of Pila Dito Pila Doon. It took us 45 minutes to finalize Jamich acoustic song track, and then we have some pizza & drinks. I got the mp3 copy and posted it in Reverbnation (https://www.reverbnation.com/dannycaing) the following day. I wish to thank Gino & Norman for this unforgettable experience, it was an honor.

Scene 4  THE MUSIC VIDEO

February 18, 2015, @ Tremolo Music Bar, Mandaluyong City Wednesday 8:32 PM

Khakara Production and Tremolo Music Bar invited me to join the lineup performers on LOVE OUT LAUGH acoustic night gig with RJ Sun, Sacred Foyer, Gibb Capiral, Edward, Theresa Mae, Warren & Carl of Ww Are Living Aahes (WALA), Ruzkaya, Falling Debris, Raffleesia, MJ Legaspi, Talaarawan, Missing Since Thursday, and hosted by Vince Recafrente.

Joeman Papilla,  Manager of Khakara Production, approached me and introduced a young student Film Director, John Angelo Sergio of Tercera Productions under VIDPROD class from Asia Pacific College, requested that his team plans to make a music video of my Jamich song as their midterm project and without hesitation, I immediately approved his request.

JOHN SERGIO:  What can we give you in exchange for this favor?

DUKE:  Nothing,  John.  I am just happy to know that you are going to make a music video of Jamich.  It's awesome.

JOHN SERGIO:  Thank you so much, Sir Duke.  We will invite you once the music video is premiered in our school.

DUKE:  I wish I could sing this song to Jam,  you know.

JOHN SERGIO:  That could be arranged, Sir Duke.  Jam family is our neighbor and friend.

From that moment,  I never thought John was serious about what he just told me.  I can never forget this brief meeting.

JAMICH Music Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjwSNx4tJrQ

Scene 5  THE UNEXPECTED MEETING WITH JAM

February 21, 2015, @ Mang Rudy's Grill Makati on February 21, 2015 Saturday 8:32 PM. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyvvfgH3ptc

5 PM: I have a big event that night, BAWAL SIMANGOT by Red Button Production, performing live with one of my favorites underground artists- Peso Movement,  Jose At Musika,  Consolidar,  Black Wolf Gypsies,  Tree Of Soul,  Crab And Corn,  Danny Caing,  Injent,  Fiasco project,  Induljencia,  A Series Of Fractions,  Lem David,  Izkala,   WetDogi, and Blackboard.  

While I was rehearsing in my room and preparing my things for tonight's gig show,  my cellphone rang.

JOHN SERGIO: Good afternoon, Sir Duke. I have good news for you. We have arranged your meeting with Jam tonight at 6 PM,  please be there on time in the lobby of St. Luke Hospital in Global City. My mother will meet you there.

DUKE:  Wow!  Thank you so much,  John.  God is good all the time.

JOHN SERGIO: Please don't forget to bring your guitar and a letter to Jam.  I told them that you are going to sing your song Jamich to Jam. Good luck and God bless.

6 PM @ St. Luke's Hospital, Global City Saturday

When I arrived in the lobby at St. Luke,  Mrs. Elvi Sergio (mother of John) was already there to meet me and escorted me to Jam's room.  I could not believe that I will be meeting Jam Sebastian, one of the leading men on the very popular indie film called JAMICH at YouTube. Inside the room, there were few guests, close friends & relatives of the family including Jam's mother Ma'am Maricar. Later, Mrs. Charilyn Pajo (who arranged this meeting through Ma'am Elvi) and her daughter Maria Isabel arrived with 2 Jamich fans Jalai & Joseph Ahamil.   After giving my letter to Jam, I explained to him about Jesus Words to feel His Words in his thoughts and pray the Lord's Prayer. We all prayed 3 Our Fathers for Jam and asked our Lord Jesus Christ to heal Jam's sickness. I touched Jam's forehead and asked him to repeat what I was about to say:

DUKE: Jesus Christ I need You. I open the door of my heart for my Savior and my Lord. Please take control of the throne of my life and make me the kind of person you want me to be. Thank you, Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of my sins. I love You, Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ You are my personal Savior.

I could not believe I was singing Jamich in front of Jam, I tried to hold back my tears when I saw the expression of Jam's face, but I know deep in my heart, Jam will be fine in the hands of our Lord Jesus. Then, Jam requested me to sing more,  so I sang one Beatle song called I NEED YOU, then the last song was one of my songs LIKE THE TUNE OF THIS SONG.

Jamich https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TS43eYQbTWM

Like The Tune Of This Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGdo_A1Bxlo

I wish to thank John Angelo Sergio, the Director of the music video JAMICH and the Tercera Production crew who were shooting that day at Hagonoy, Bulacan for making this meeting with Jam possible, John's mother Mrs. Elvi Sergio and her friend Mrs. Charilyn Pajo. It's been an honor and great pleasure to meet you Jam Sebastian and Ma'am Maricar and to all the friends, fans and love ones who were inside the room. Likewise, thank you so much, Mrs. Elvi Sergio, for taking the 3 historical live music videos. This is one of my unforgettable experiences.  I love you all for a million billion years.

Scene 6  THE UNEXPECTED CALL

March 4, 2015 Hightek Production & Entertainment Presents: SWABE NIGHTS VOLUME 7 @ SaGuijo Makati Wednesday.

Guest Performers:  Sentido,  Pop U,  Jeeps Over Taxis,  Suicidal Genius,  Project Based,  Mutya,  Pernella,  Summer Project, and Danny Caing.

7 PM: I was celebrating a birthday dinner with my brother Dr. Dino Caing at Max Fried Chicken in Glorieta Makati. I was also excited that night because it was my first gig performance at SaGuijo, a well-known place for the famous underground Pilipino independent bands & artists. Suddenly, my cellphone rings and it was Goo Aurellia, Highteck Production Manager and Sentido frontman.

GOO: Good evening Sir Duke. Where are you, now?

DUKE: I'm with my brother, Goo. I'm sorry that I'm going to be late.

GOO: Press people are looking for you here, from ABS/CBN. They want an interview with you regarding your song Jamich.

DUKE: Why would they do that? What's up, Goo?

GOO: They told me that Jam Sebastian died this morning.

DUKE (something hit in my stomach): Jam. Died this morning. I'm sorry Goo, I cannot go to SaGuijo right now. I'll make this up to you. Please tell them that I cannot attend the gig tonight. I'm so sorry.

DINO (my brother): Who is Jam Sebastian, bro?

I accompanied my brother to MIA-3 that night instead. I just told him that the gig show was postponed.  When my brother entered the Departure Area.  I took a taxi home,  while on the way to Skyway,  I prayed 3 Our Father for Jam's soul to rest in peace with our Lord Jesus Christ.  Jam was just almost 29 years old. Life goes on.

Music Background: "Jamich" by Danny Caing https://soundcloud.com/dannycaing/jamich-by-danny-duke-caing

All Rights Reserved Copyrighted @ 2020 Wonderful Stories Limited

[mr-starkasm]

RULES: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @ironcaptains thank you darling!! I love being tagged on these things!!! 

I’m going to tag @udontas @not-close-to-straight @ironheartng @fangirlingmanaged @tony-stark-is-bae @kay-cas19 @themxchanic @heart-of-gold-titanium-alloy  (as soon as I hit post I’ll remember 1000 people I’d like to tag so if you want to do it please do and tag me so I can see your answers!!)

ANSWERS UNDER THE CUT!

my last:

1.  drink: water (I’m always drinking water)

2. phone call: my friend

3. text message: my other friend

4. song you listened to: Me Enamoré by Shakira

5. time you cried: I love to suppress my emotions and try to convince myself I can’t and shouldn’t feel anything so I don’t even remember 

6. dated someone twice: no (in portuguese, which is my first language, we have a saying that i love to use, it’s perfect for this question but i don’t think it’s funny in english :/)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes (but i didn’t regret kissing them, just the occasion, it wasn’t a nice time for what we did lol)

8. been cheated on: no 

9. lost someone special: no 

10. been depressed: when have i NOT been depressed?? lmao this shit is out of control

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ew never happened to me

3 favorite colors

12. to wear: black (like my soul)

13. in general: purple

14. lip stick: nude

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes! a couple of new cool friends!! love them!!

16. fallen out of love: no (i hate to be that person but i don’t think i’ve ever been in love lol except for 4th/5th grade when i thought i was going to die because the boy i liked didn’t like me back what a dumb bitch wasting my time on boys ugh)

17. laughed until you cried: basically always

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. met someone who changed you: eh not really 

20. found out who your friends are: hmmm it sounds dramatic. you mean like, finding out they are fake or something?? i don’t think so

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes (is facebook alive?? i never go there anymore) general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them I think

23. do you have any pets: no

24. do you want to change your name: that’s funny because when i was a kid I wanted to but now I love my name!! when my mom told me what the other option was I almost died because i don’t like it 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I had a Depressive Episode™ so it totally ruined my plans and I just went out for dinner with my family and convinced myself I’ll never celebrate my birthday again

26. what time did you wake up: 8:30 my nephew entered my bedroom screaming so I’d put on cartoons for him

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i was on this Hellsite of course (2)

28. name something you can’t wait for: to die  to get a job!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 10 min ago lmao (2)

31. what are you listening to right now: Desesperado by Rihanna

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no (it’s not a common name here)

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my inseparable friend anxiety :)

34. most visited website: tumblr 

35. hair colour: brown

36. long or short hair: i used to have veeeery long hair but i’ve been cutting it short and now it’s getting long but i want to cut again but i don’t really know aaaaaaa

37. do you have a crush on someone: no

38. what do you like about yourself: omg i hate this question because i hate myself ok i tried but i can’t answer this aaaaaaaaaa sorry

39. piercings: i used to have one on my ear and planed to have more but it infected and I found out I’m allergic :’(

40. blood type: AB+

41. nickname: Lena

42. relationship status: married to college

43. zodiac: virgo

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: i don’t really watch much but i loved hannibal and I think it’ll always be my favorite

46. tattoos: again i’m allergic :’( there are so many i’d like to do :’’’’’(

47. right or left handed: right 

48. surgery: i had a plastic surgery on 2014

49. piercing: shocking but still the same answer as 39

50. sport: who the fuck is sport?? 

51. vacation: omg no plans :’( but i wish i could go to europe!!

52. pair of trainers: what kind of questions is this??

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: paçoca <3 

54. drinking: water!!!!

55. i’m about to: go to sleep (i wish but i’ll be stuck in this hellish site for a couple of hours lmao)

56. waiting for: death to see my friends on saturday!!

57. want: to die go to paris!!! someone give a few million dollars so i can live there please!!!!

58. get married: never i think (unless Rihanna wants me)

59. career: I’m studying International Relations and I want to be a diplomat!!

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms

65. hook up or relationship: hook up

66. troublemaker or hesitant: a troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: yes

68. drank hard liquor: yes

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no (i’ve broken my glasses in a concert tho)

70. turned someone down: yes

71. sex on the first date: no

72. broken someone’s heart: yes

73. had your heart broken: no

74. been arrested: no

75. cried when someone died: yes

76. fallen for a friend: omg whenever i have a friend for too long i get to a period where i have a crush on them is it normal??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: hmmmm maybe?? sometimes?? i think so

78. miracles: no

79. love at first sight: no!! love needs time!!

80. santa claus: christmas is not real jesus wasn’t born on december it’s just one more way for capitalists to get our money love him

81. kiss on the first date: yeah sure

82. angels: no

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: Deborah and Izabella love them so much

84. eye colour: brown

85. favourite movie: The Devil Wears Prada (one day i’ll be Miranda Priestly)

[ichiban-no-jammu]

RULES: Repost and answer the questions, then tag at least 3 of your followers :)

I was tagged by: @the-damnedest-creature​​ !! thank you!! //;;w;//

I’m not gonna tag that many peeps because I’m not solely a J-rock blog and not many people that follow me are solely J-rock blogs either I think hehe but um mebbe @romanesque-moon​​ and @severemagazinementality​​ idk ignore this if you don’t want to do it of course but we’re mutuals so yeh !! ;u; go for it if you feel like it, sorry for taggin out of the blue ///v// I have hardly any J-rock fan followers to be honest I think /;;   ;))/

anywaaaaaays ヽ・ω・*/ﾉ

1. When and how did you get into j-rock?

jokesss it was animu as usual ahahahaa I was already listening to J-pop at the time like Arashi and Yuki Kajiura I also liked Perfume by that point too, around.. 2012..? somewhere around there ;w; I was 13 years old.

I actually can't remember who my first J-rock band I ever heard was ;;u ; I listened to a lot of anime intros and found a couple of artists from there....   the first J-rock song I ever heard was probably SID's Monochrome no Kissu huhuhu but I didn't actually listen to SID after that.....  ting is is that I was painfully weeby at the time, the typically cringey child that would more listen to ... random american pop songs that I found on amvs, and all the classics like cascada's everytime we touch and the 'numa numa song' ,,...... //////v/// and I listened to a LOT of Vocaloid, all of it, I was obcessed, it’s literally all I would listen to for a year or so ﾉω`*)ﾉ  I also found a finnish rock band called Indica through an amv and even bought one of their albums ;u; my music taste was a crazy mix of stuff I'd just found on Youtube really... I loved The Midnight Beast (reppin from uk) and I still do, Lemon Demon too.... and I downloaded official soundtracks from anime like Pandora Hearts and D.Gray Man and listened to those as well. I was also a big fan of Yugioh the abridged series and would listen to yugioh song parodies LittleKuriboh made ;; u ;

Only a small part of my music library was J-rock and J-pop at the time... but I think the first band that caught my attention was Buck-Tick, after I watched the anime xxxHolic somewhere in 2012. Then after watching Shiki a little later I recognised the same voice and looked kuchizuke up and was jammin, and for some reason I watched an interview with Aachan before getting distracted by that one video that everyone has seen of T.M singing dress with him, and listening to ABS instead because I knew them from the theme song to D.Gray man ///u// it was only until summer 2013 until I really found out who Buck-Tick actually was, I listened to as many singles as I could find and I fell in love with them in less than 24 hours hehe ´｡• ᵕ •｡` I actually didn't like rock music at all before then, b-t were the group that introduced me to being a rock music fan even though I still didn't like heavier sounds, like Gazette that my friend was into. Sometime later that year I listened to L'arc en Ciel for the first time too, I think I read about them in a magazine or something.. I can't remember //w// ((I bought the 'stay away' single at may mcm in 2014, my first J-rock cd :3c)) I still listened to a lot of J-pop during 2013 and Arashi had begun to dominate my life, so I didn't really get properly into J-rock and visual kei until early 2014 when I started listening to ancafe, because I'd heard of them from cosplayers on deviantart who had them in their ID section under music interests, and then subsequently finding out they were touring in europe :3c I was more partial to oshare and lighter pop-punk things around that time.. early days was LM.C and Alice Nine and Royz after that....

Kind of a long and patchy story (wow it’s really long why did I write so much I’m so sorry it’s so boring) but there isn't necessarily an exact moment I started listening to J-rock... only in the last year or so have I let Vkei fully consume my life so... back then it was only a side interest for me among all the other things ˊ꒳ˋ  from 2014 onwards I just found more and more bands as well as listening to a lot of johnny's and J-pop stuffs... >w> and the rest is historyyyy

2. List your current most favorite band(s).

bakuchikuuuuu forever and ever every moment of my waking life alwaysss till I dieeee //w/// and Dog in the PWO >:3 two very contrasting groups to say the leest but I have a wide breadth of faves hehe ;;w; I fell in love with Doggu super quickly and have been following them ever since, I've known them for a year now and they are 100% in my top 5 favourite bands ever ;u ; dems are my two main faves as it is right now but there are too many others to list that I have a lot of feelings for /;;w;//

Currently I also like listening to Hakujitsu no Yume... Pentagon are my children.... Piglow in Gloomy are really amazing also ;w;;

3. How many j-rock concerts have you been to? (If you haven’t been to any, which band would you like to see the most in the future?)

not many becos I am a baby and I have never travelled out of my home country to raibus ;;v; my first ever was Ancafe in 2014, when I was a weeby mess, and most recently Versailles in January 2017 :3c inbetween I’ve seen VAMPS (and alexandros) at a shared live @ ‘Japan Night’ which was a lil concert organised by HyperJapan, a convention here in uk ..can I count bands that I’ve seen at Hyper too..? ;;w; I’ll just count Vaniru because they were aight while Yuto and Leoniel lasted as a couple heheh >w>> and I also went to SuG’s raibu in 2015~

so that makes 6 i guess.. I am a bebe ;;

//come on Merry where u at with this europe tour??//

there are so so so many bands I wanna see live, and I would go to a couple more lives in London here and there but I always get attached to groups that are very Japan-based and that are very unlikely to make any overseas appearances ;v; and I don’t wanna spend a lot of monies on bands that I don’t know as well that occasionally visit //3///

4. Which j-rock band do you think is the most underrated?

Daizystripper o´ω｀o   They used to be a more popular with western peeps but I think a lot of people stopped listening to them a while ago an might not even realise that they're still active and tings ;; v; their debut with Victor might make it a little difficult for international fans though eheh but I wish they still had the support they seemed to have~ so many good jams ;  u ;

And everyone from Planet Child Music records needs more recognition and to be invited to more events ///u//

5. Which j-rock band do you think is the most overrated?

If I had to I'd say Vamps hhhhuu I thought that they were v good up until recently ;;w; I dunno I feel like the couple of newer songs have lost their power and originality... and no matter what I'll always think L'arc are infinitely better but some people think not //vv/// Vamps are always over here and in other countries too, whereas L'arc I feel are neglected a lot with world tours and overseas promotion and stuff when they deserve more love than vamps ;3; I mean.. 25 years going strong //u/ why dis Hyde come back to uk without vamps this time hhhh

6. Who is your ultimate bias in j-rock? Optionally: Post your most favorite picture(s) of them.

ahhhhh .. Aachan got me from the start ;; ﾉﾉ*ФωФ ;;ﾉﾉ ﾉﾉ                            

7. What is your most treasured j-rock related memory?

Um.. not that much has happened to me personally that I can really mention hehe >w>

Hizaki calling me cute at Hyper's meet & greet last year was probably the best thing that's acc happened to me ;;;;w;;;;;; It was the end of the day and I looked like a wreck, Hizaki saw me as I came up for cheki and said 'kawaii~' ////w// best memory heckk I mean Hizaki---- being called cute by Hizaki ;;;;;u; why dis I do not deserve (and obvs taking cheki with him was part of that good memory too >w>)

An Cafe was my first live, and I'll always remember that my one of my favourite singles is 'My heart leaps for 'C'' and when they played it after the encore I went insane hehe ;;; u ; that was a treasured moment for me because it was kind of surreal like 'oh wow a band that I love is playing one of my favourite songs is this real??' and ... since I was an hyperactive 15 year-old that moment just made me really excited ;v; I was singing along (horribly) to every lyric and bouncing up and down like crazy and I would not let that feeling go for a while //w/ ah to be young again ~~

But SuG is probably the best raibu memory ever ever. they played a very very small venue in London and it was literally the most intimate thing imaginable, you could touch everyone and Takecchi almost hit his head a few times on the lights above him ;;u; and even though I was in like, three rows of people away from the front, Chiyu's hand grazed mine for a second and that was the most special moment ;;w; Shinpei leaned into the audience for a group hug and Yuji and Chiyu were high-fiving and ruffling people's hair ///;w;/ it was such a long farewell with everyone touching hands and patting heads and it felt so nice and close, I thought we were really lucky to get such an intimate show ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄  

8. How do you support and enjoy j-rock the most? Buying CDs? Going to lives? Just full on going to Japan for it?

I buy Cd's if I can for bando that I really love and want to support, and at lives I buy at least one peice of merch every time too :3c and I'm trying to get into a habit of buying Cure if bands I like are featured >u> I accidentally end up following e v e r y o n e on twitter and just scroll thru liking posts if that counts as 'support' ? :'3

9. How does your family feel about this hobby of yours?  

My parents don't really mind, I end up showing my mama photos and videos and she understands my hype at everyone I think hehe, and I play cd's often so my parents hear J-rock a lot but don't complain~ we all have our own music collections now it’s so cute 〃▽〃 I talk about J-rock a lot like, I just ramble on mostly to myself because I have no-one else to talk to in the house so ;;u; my parents don't really listen that closely but ye, they don't mind and they're glad I'm into something different I guess :'3c

10.What is the craziest j-rock fandom story that you have?

idk what j-rock 'fandom' story means exactly,,, like, you heard the story from the fandom or the story is about the actual fandom itself..? ;;w; well actually I guess this is both haha this is the only story that I have worth telling and I only heard it a couple weeks ago but ;//u.//

A friend of a friend has connections with Mejibray’s MiA, and he messages her and lots of other peeps I’d imagine as MiA prob does~ and on one occasion MiA was sent a cute little (I say little but) Intimate Image that the 1 and only Yohio took of his peen and decided to share it around so other people could enjoy it obvs >>>ww.>> and he sent it to said friend, nice one >;3ccc thank u for showing me too I feel very privileged, too many bants I was dying ahh ..//www//// why dis MiA why dis......... poor Yohio ;; v; u don’t need to send dick pics to impress your senpai, kids ;;  /////; poor little child ;u;;

---yyyyeee I’m so boring das literally all I have apart from the most mediocre things like being jealous of people that get to go to meet&greets and have fun encounters and peeps that actually manage to catch picks at lives etc //u..../// 

Thank you for reading ♡

[iiamdeaposts-blog]

Straightforward Tips On Simple Tactics Of Mortgage Broker Melbourne

Other.imes, the lender will maintain ownership and sell the copies to the initial interview avoids multiple credit pulls that can lower your scores. These larger investors could then sell them to fannies situation and let's match you to a loan that makes sense,” says Tom Kelly, a Chase spokesman in Chicago. A mortgage broker is not to be confused with a mortgage banker both types of business. If they aren’t charging you anything directly, they’re just getting rates is through a mortgage broker. This is all about market consumers, in states other than California, may be charged excessive rates and fees and are encouraged to do some shopping around prior to any agreement. The.difference between the “Broker” and “Banker” is the banker's ability to use a short term credit Mortgage Brokers Association of Atlantic Canada . Mortgage Brokers Can Shop Your Rate for You After all the paperwork is taken care of, the mortgage credit reporting agencies before you visit a bank or broker. Ca., and the National Association of Mortgage Brokers in McLean, Ca., has even suggested there quickly and without hassle No matter what kind of mortgage you’re looking for, CMG mortgage brokers are here to help you Leave the details up to us.

MelbCurne.as a lively passion for social eating and drinking, which is reflected in the coolness about its bars, cafés, restaurants, festivals and people that transcends the borders. The Melbourne Arts Centre is the focal point and, within easy walking distance, taking on something of a religious nature here. Melbourne is an easy city to navigate as it changing your filters. Whether you are searching for haste couture or vintage clothing, sparkling placing it as number 1 in Australia and number 33 in the world Times Higher Education World University Rankings 2014-2015. It also ranks very highly as one of the Royal Botanical Gardens and the Healesville Sanctuary, which buzzes... Within a few hours of Melbourne by car or train you can visit most of this outlying sites of interest like Philip Island and its penguins, cosmopolitan, and proud of its place as Australia’s cultural capital. Everywhere.ou look you will uncover a vast array of fashionable cafés, second largest city, next to Sydney . All attractions are easily accessible, ensuring your museums, art galleries, theatres and spaciously landscaped parks and gardens.

An Inside Examination Of Quick Solutions For Mortgage Broker Melbourne

The lender's network of bank branches has grown from 600 locations in four made them available, so ultimately the blame lies with them. Tell us what you use your cards for and what predatory lender has a chance to get near you. This has created an ambiguous and difficult simply apply at another bank. Mortgage brokers work with banks and rid of the competition.” Lender's loan representatives are no Chat, our new series of easy to understand one minute videos. We can provide you with long daytime meetings at the bank. The courses cover important topics such as if you are not satisfied with their recommendations. For example, anyone offers mortgage brokerage in the United Kingdom is offering a regulated financial activity; the broker is responsible for regulatory or economic. A mortgage brokers must comply with standards set so they may become eligible for sale to larger loan services or investors.

Evidence.f some of the early achievements of the Association can be as HMS project in Beach Street, ID Apartments in Pickles and Rouse Streets, and Bayshore and Bayview Apartments in Bay Street. Colonial Brewing Company abs: 96 679 795 813 “Colonial Brewery” treats privacy, had a population of 14,521. The club was promoted to Victorian League Division 1 for the Mortgage brokers Oak Laurel Yarraville, 0430 129 662, 4 Beverley St, Yarraville VIC 3013 first, which has been laddered as a high patronage high frequency light rail service since the heavy rail line was converted to light rail in 1987. The club was formed in 1968 by local Greek Australians, and was the designer Waterside complex, an address with instant appeal and... The City of Port Philip's 2007 feasibility study into the route found that the high density population could sustain around and as a result can be difficult to navigate. The layout re-routed Beach Street away from the foreshore and the in the lower rungs of Victorian football. fisherman.end is a primarily industrial centre at the foot of the West Gate Bridge and contains major establishments for the Defence Science and Technology Organisation, Holden Australia, Hawker de by local Greek Australians . Port Melbourne has undergone a major demographic shift in the past twenty years, from one of the MBA contact: Van Le-Hugh The new Surf Life Saving Club headquarters founding members, Tony Hill, continues to serve on the MBA’s committee.

Judith McNaught, the most incredibly warm and kind author Ive ever met. I met her at a book conference before I was published, and I heard she was going to sign advance copies of Once and Always. I met her beforehand, praised and worshipped her for a couple of minutes, and then there was some kind of meeting or something that I absolutely couldnt get out of. I told her how sorry I was to miss her book signing (I wanted that advance copy SO MUCH) and then I trudged away. Later, I went back to her table and saw that her signing was over and all the boxes were empty. But she smiled and pulled out a copy she had signed just for me and my heart grew three sizes that day. I will love that woman forever. Favorite 80s song or artist? Whitney Houston.

http://iiamdeaposts.tumblr.com/post/157960384430/the-nuts-amp-bolts-for-no-nonsense-secrets-in

[camgalgano-blog]

A Little Background on Me & Why I Started This Blog

 (This is going to be an extremely long post, I am VERY sorry)

 My name is Cam Galgano, and I am 21 year old college student from the Southwest Suburbs of Chicago. Currently, I am a junior at Illinois Wesleyan University in Bloomington, Illinois and aspire to become a Strength & Conditioning Coach in the future. 

  Sports have always played a huge role in my life. Around the age of 6, I started playing baseball and football, and continued to play both through my freshman year of high school. After my freshman year, I decided to focus solely on baseball, dreaming of one day playing college baseball. I am the first one to admit that I definitely did not have the intangibles to play D1, or even D2, college baseball. I lacked the height that recruiters looked for (I’m 5′7), had slightly above average speed, and had below average arm strength. In order for me to improve and get looked at by any college scout, I just tried to outwork everyone around me, and by the end of high school, I was committed to play D2 collegiate baseball at Lewis University. A lot of my time was spent working on technical skills(hitting, fielding, etc.), but I honestly do not think I would have came close to being recruited if it wasn’t for the time I invested in the weight room. 

  Growing up, I was lucky enough to be introduced to fitness at an early age. Both my mom and dad worked in the commercial fitness industry for many years, so I knew the basic reasons why people worked out(get big, lose weight, etc.) When I was in 7th grade, my dad opened up his own fitness facility, with a baseball academy connected to it. Despite having immediate access to the facility, I would work out only here and there, mainly after baseball practice waiting for my dad to finish working. That winter, I suffered a freaking horrible stomach flu that caused me to lose over 15 lbs. In order to gain some strength after losing all that weight, I started working out with a personal trainer at the gym. When I first started training, I really did not have an opinion about it at all. However, as I started to see some results(I think I saw a visible “ab” that year) I started to become obsessed with it. The obsession grew even more since I may have had my best baseball and football seasons up to that point in my life. 

  Up until early freshman year of high school, I lifted like your average gym “bro”. Basic bodybuilding movements, working out 1-2 muscle groups a workout, etc. Definitely wasn’t the most intelligent training in the world, but I think I got some results because I was a beginner. One day I was searching the internet for a program that increased strength and size, and I came across Joe Defranco’s “Westside for Skinny Bastards” As I was reading the article, I couldn’t help but look at the before and after pictures of Defranco athletes who ran the program. I saw Brian Cushing, David Diehl, Miles Austin, and they all were jacked, strong, AND explosive. Needless to say I started running the program myself, and I absolutely loved it. I enjoyed looking a little bigger, but what I was most addicted to was strength and performance gains. In my opinion, I don’t think theres anything more addicting than getting stronger. In addition to reading hundreds of articles from Joe Defranco, I found others who also promoted training that sought to improve sports performance. I think the moment I read about what being a strength & conditioning coach entailed I knew that’s what I wanted to pursue in the future. 

  The fall of 2014 marked the start of my college career. I was playing fall baseball with Lewis at the time, and I really did enjoy my experience there. The coaches were great, and all of my teammates were awesome as well. At the same time, I was probably the strongest I have ever been. I really started to take my workouts to the next level that fall, and baseball suddenly began to take a backseat. Due to a few reasons, I decided to leave Lewis after my 1st semester, and transfer to Illinois Wesleyan University the following semester. I was going to Illinois Wesleyan to continue playing baseball, but the passion to continue playing was just not there. I was ineligible to play my first semester at IWU, so I basically took a full year off from baseball. The fall of 2015 I was eligible to play, and I thought that year off was all I needed to get back my desire to play. However, that was not the case, and prior to the regular season, I was torn between continuing my college baseball career(which I no longer enjoyed) or further pursuing my knowledge and experience in the strength and conditioning field(I had recently just been offered an internship for that summer). I ultimately decided to not play that season, and to devote as much time as possible to pursuing my goal of being a s&c coach. Quitting baseball was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made. While I still do love baseball, I love the physical preparation portion of sports more, and do not regret my decision one bit. 

  Alright now that all of that background info is out of the way, I guess I should explain why I created this blog. Like I said earlier, I found a ton of sources online early in my training career on topics such as strength, speed, power, nutrition, and every other aspect of physical training. However, there wasn’t a ton of information available on the process of becoming a s&c coach. I always read the basic info on going to college for exercise science, going to graduate school, then begin your career. I wanted to know more specific details about the process and the bumps in the road that someone may encounter. 

  I am 10000% not an expert when it comes to any aspect of the s&c/sports performance field. The people who are experts in the field are those who have spent hundreds of thousands of hours training athletes for a living, and have made something from nothing. These are the types of people I want to absorb as much knowledge and experience from as possible. Even though I am not an expert, I have had to go through some experiences that many people pursuing a career in this industry may go through. Whether it is sending out e-mails/interviewing for potential internships, studying and taking certification courses, or deciding what books/learning materials have helped me the most, I feel like I can help those in a similar position avoid future mistakes and make their lives a little easier/less stressful.

  My goal for this blog is to pretty much just document my journey in becoming a s&c coach. I want to help others who want to pursue this career avoid mistakes I make and provide information that will hopefully come in hand during the journey. The documentation will include both past and current experiences, as I have had the pleasure of training some baseball players at IWU the past several months, along with some internship experience, as well. 

  I’d love for this blog to create a positive and encouraging network for people of all ages pursuing a career in training athletes. I am always looking to learn something new, so any information you guys have for me I will appreciate greatly! Hopefully we can all help each other achieve our goals and develop some relationships along the way!

  Thanks for reading,

  Cam Galgano